#she should cannabalize him

[officialtokyosan]

the fighter pilot transhumanists are being creepy again

[dahliaslove]

⭑ HC’S OF SLASHERS WITH A BIMBO S/O

⭑ authors note: this was very fun to make so feel free to request any similar head canons also lmk if i should make a part two with more slashers :)

⭑ warnings: small mention of kidnapping, some of them immediately make your appearance sexual (sorry but they’re very mentally unstable), stalking, mention of panty stealing, corruption kink, aged up stu as if he got away with the killings and went on to college, small mention of fucking in a bathroom, basically they’re all perverts to some extent (sorry)

⭑ characters: thomas hewitt, michael myers, bo sinclair, lester sinclair, vincent sinclair, stu macher

no detailed smut, but minors don’t interact please!

THOMAS HEWITT

- living in the conservative and rural south, i doubt he’s seen many people decked out in as much pink as you while also simultaneously wearing as little clothing as possible

- luda mae will definitely judge you by the way you dress but once she gets to see how well you treat her tommy she’s letting it slide and excusing it by saying that it’s necessary to dress like that in the heat or something

- once you’re an established person in the hewitt residence i feel like they wouldn’t really have to hide their cannabalism from you too hard due to you being you know . . . oblivious

- hoyt would 100% make some sort of remark to you that has thomas fuming, like he knows you’re such a kind and gentle person and hoyt should not be trying to get with you like that, even if you don’t necessarily notice that he’s being sleazy toward you

- i know thomas would low key struggle to contain himself around you and is definitely ashamed about it because he should not be feeling this way when you’re not even doing anything necessarily sexual

- like he feels pathetic palming himself in secret while thinking about you in your short skirts and tight tops but after you find out about this he’ll absolutely let you help him out with it

- imagine trying to calm the creaking from his bed so his family doesn’t hear as you ride him silly with your skirt rolled up your thighs and his big hands holding onto your waist . . .

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

MICHAEL MYERS

- the amount of pink you’re wearing is what first catches michaels attention. he definitely stalks you at first and just watches you waltz around in your bright pink attire, oblivious to michael watching you, very obviously too.

- to be honest i think this would frustrate him at first, like why aren’t you noticing that there a dangerous man following you around?!

- oh my god and if you’re someone who constantly forgets to lock their doors? michael is literally taking that as an invitation to break into your place. he doesn’t even bother to hide whenever you come walking down stairs in your short and cutesy matching pajama top and bottoms, he just waits for you to notice.

- mans is absolutely baffled whenever you turn to him and instead of freaking out, you just smile and ask him if he’s hungry. i would like to say that he would take this invitation and take a container of whatever food you have and then just awkwardly leave and question his whole entire existence.

- he comes back though, because even murderers have to eat, right? he just keeps coming back to your house frequently until he’s practically living with you.

- i feel like one day you would probably see him on the news while looking for something to watch and be like oh my god my new roommate is a killer? well . . . he hasn’t hurt me so it’s whatever i guess . . . wait! that’s why he never pays rent?

- once you guys cross the line from roommates to a couple, he will honestly be a little concerned for your well-being, like how does someone as oblivious as you even make it through the day?

- don’t worry though, michael will absolutely stalk you to check in on you and will murder anyone who does anything to you :)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

BO SINCLAIR

- to be honest, this mf is gonna sexualize you immediately. He’s turning his charm levels all the way to 11 and trying to win you over in his own manipulative and slightly hot way though.

- he definitely gets annoyed by you being clumsy, but he uses that as an opportunity to 100% be a pervert by letting his hands wander or just straight up staring down at your tits or ass.

- trust me, as soon as this man is in your vicinity he is rock hard because he literally has the dirtiest mind ever and has absolutely no chill. ( this makes the sex 1000% better though )

- he for sure has nude polaroids of you in his wallet, like imagine gifting them to him sealed with a bright lipstick stain on the back and a cutely drawn heart. he also jacks off to these in the back of his shop because he has no shame when it comes to you as i said earlier.

- he probably wouldn’t worry much about you leaving due to you being oblivious to the situation you’re in but he would definitely be more protective of you because of this when you get to know each other more.

- like if any tourist tries to do or say anything to you that he doesn’t like? he’s gonna try and keep his act together with clenched teeth and a strained smile before killing them off himself instead of sending them to vincent or something.

- definitely makes fun of you for being a naive klutz though. like he will manipulate you to the max to get you to comply for him, he’ll say things like “just please do it for me, okay sugar?” and have you wrapped right around his finger.

- the same kinda goes the other way, just to an extent. after a while of you laying some sweet loving on him he’ll definitely be asking lester to pick you up some pretty lipsticks and anything that he thinks you’ll find cute.

- over all, you’re bo’s walking wet dream and he literally can not get over you especially after you guys get in a relationship and to you he’s just your silly little mechanic boyfriend who lives in a weirdly empty town.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

LESTER SINCLAIR

- lives for the aesthetic and finds you so pretty but is a total pervert and he, like bo, uses your naivety to his advantage

- he gives panty stealer vibes to me, like i know he probably acts all innocent and puppy eyed around you but as soon as you look away for one second he’s going into your room and stealing your panties you know? (he still does it while you’re in a relationship too, because this man can not be stopped)

- say you work at a cute little diner he likes to frequent (because of you) he will go there every other day and butter you up only to leave the parking lot of the diner and jerk off into his hand on the side of some abandoned road . . .

- he will find a way to be with you whether it be literally stealing you away or finding you on the side of the road after your cars broken down and convincing you to stay with him. and with the second option being more likely (he will mess with your car and plan out the whole thing) you won’t even realize he’s got you tied in with him forever

- you’ll just think lester is the sweet southern man from the diner who’s turned into your boyfriend who takes care of you and let you move into his place really quickly

- He absolutely has a corruption kink, like he loves the idea of being with someone so perfect and just absolutely ruining them. he also definitely has you christen his truck for “good luck” by fucking you in there until you’re a sticky sobbing mess.

- but on the softer side of things, i know lester is so greatful for you and can’t believe that someone as sweet and pretty as you could love him. especially as someone who wasn’t loved properly as a child :(

- and he’s so protective over you too because he knows how mean the world can be and he doesn’t want anyone else to hurt you. so he’s definitely extra careful when he has you in the car and is picking up tourists. it’s low key funny because he’s over here worried they’re gonna say something mean to you and not that you’re gonna find out what he’s luring them into. if they do something though, he makes sure to tell his brothers to make their death slow and painful :)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

VINCENT SINCLAIR

- he absolutely adores you, like he loves having a silly lil naive pink loving partner.

- anytime you’re having one of your airhead moments he will calmly explain to you in more detail until you understand what he’s talking about :(

- he loves drawing you, he does it so much it’s to the point where his pink colored pencils are getting shorter and are always dull from use. he hangs the drawings up all over his walls and stuff too, which literally has you leaving kisses all over him and drowning him in compliments (he gets very flustered)

- tries to keep you away from the fact he turns people into wax statues, but is glad that you don’t even seem to notice! imagine you complimenting him on how life like they look and he’s like :-|

- probably very protective over you, especially if you come into contact with bo . . . who has no shame in flirting with you but you’re just like no thanks i have a perfectly awesome and cool boyfriend :) (bo’s ego was very hurt that day)

- this immediately has him rolling all over the house and happily dancing because he loves you so much and you’re all his

- just because he feels like this doesn’t also mean he’s not a perv like the rest of them though (you thought you were safe muahaha) he probably has so many nude drawings of you, mans absolutely gets every detail in them too

- he hides them from you at first but if you find them . . . oh my lord he’s gonna be so embarrassed . . . and hard. seeing him depict you so beautifully, probably splayed out on pink sheets too, immediately has you on your knees for him.

- i don’t care i would suck this man dry to show my appreciation, like until he has tears in his eyes and he’s just uncontrollably bucking his hips into your mouth

- basically he loves you in pink and is your #1 supporter!!!

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

STU MACHER

- absolutely whipped for you and you have him following you around with heart eyes all over campus

- doesn’t tell you about his side hobby of killing people, because he honestly doesn’t feel the need too since you believe him anytime he says the red staining his shoes is paint.

- absolutely gives you the princess treatment since he has all that money from his rich parents, so he buys you new clothes, gives you mail money, money to get your hair done, ect, ect.

- but he also does it with his actions you know? like he absolutely opens the door for you with a dramatic bow and says something like “after you, m’lady”

- he’s the type of guy that will go out of his way to look up your skirt to fluster you though

- he’s still a pervert but he’s more jokey about it, for example, he makes all sorts of dirty jokes and giggles like a maniac when you don’t understand them. when you do though, you’ve got him down on his knees for you, if you respond back by flirting, just know he’s taking you off to some bathroom and absolutely fucking you dumb and when you’re done he’s flipping your skirt back down and leaving the bathroom with a spring in his step.

- basically you’re just his sweet lil bimbo partner who he spoils endlessly in kisses n’ nice stuff who thankfully never notices the blood staining random items in his apartment :)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

[axoluxy]

Hmmm.... How would Alastor realize he has begun to feel a sort of... affection for a reader? (Basically he's developing feelings and he realizes it).

hii this is my first work for alastor so forgive me if it's a little ooc and if you guys have any tips or requests, please let me know :))

Alastor Falling For the Reader

pairing; alastor x (gender not specified) reader warning; ooc alastor (probably), a little bit of angst if you squint, cannabalism (its alastor what do you expect), blood, no dialogue (is that a warning?) perspective; 2nd person, in the eyes of alastor though if that makes sense?

so you first joined the hotel because of charlie

you weren't a parent per se to charlie, but you stepped up after lilith left to god knows where

(literally, god knows.)

and when lucifer was quite neglectful

so after getting you settled into your own room charlie wanted to introduce you to everyone

she had called a meeting to everyone in the main parlour

the reason alastor was so interested at you at first wasn't your kindness, or charisma, or even your charming smile

as much as he thought it was nice

it was your colour pallet

yes, as weird as it was, you were the only one in the hotel with blues and purples in your hair, outfit and makeup.

since the vision spectrum of a deer was limited to cooler colours and hell was filled with reds, blacks, and pinks it was refreshing for him to see something other than black and white

after a deft introduction from himself and quite a sloppy one from the others should he add, you all were spread around the bar drinking your respected drinks

and after a solid and quite warm welcome, you headed to your room and off to bed

the reason you and alastor grew close was because of your shared love of jazz music

there was no one else in the hotel who enjoyed the genre so it made you a bit more tolerable to him

as the weeks turned into months, you had grown close with most of the original people in the hotel

though, you couldn't find yourself getting close with angel

nothing against him of course, it was just hard to find common interest with him

personally, i don't see alastor falling easily, so it would take a lot, and i mean A LOT so idk what you did but congratulations

as yours and alastors platonic relationship grew, so did the want to be even closer with you

he was very up in your personal space and you couldn't say that you didn't like it

when he realised he wanted a romantic relationship with you he short circuited

let me expand, you two were enjoying dinner in one of the dinning rooms that had come with building up the new hotel

alastor was enjoying his weekly venison heart and you were indulging in some red wine and VERY MUCH COOKED deer

you had told him something about texture issues but he wasn't really paying attention to the words that came out of your mouth

he was more so just watching the way you slightly smiled while talking to him

anyways, as you had finished your meals, you had realised alastor had some blood dribbling from his mouth

you had tried to get him to wipe it off but he couldn't quite get it

so you had walked up in front of him and wiped it off with your thumb

not just that you had licked your thumb clean

in a twisted way, that was just really attractive to him

as soon as he realised his attraction to you he had to quickly excuse himself

after these newfound emotions that he had registered as love he ignored you

yeah, probably not the best move on his end but to be fair, he had never fallen in love before so that was his immediate reaction

he saw his affection for you as a weakness

you tried to talk to him?

oh apologies he has that thing he has to do since he's an overlord

and it was frustrating you, a lot

after a full week of him ignoring you, he decided to get advice from the best person he knew

rosie

when rosie had told him off for ignoring you, he knew he fucked up

not sure why that's would it took

she had told him that love shouldn't be seen as a weakness but a tool that he could utilise to make himself stronger too

basically out for love but in rosie's style lol

so when he came back to the hotel, he went to your room and knocked on the door

you had reluctantly let him in to explain himself

and while he didn't outrightly admit his feelings for you, it was pretty obvious

after a kiss on your hand, and a very long spiel of how sorry he was, (bro is down BAD i swear) you had forgiven him

now the next hurdle was trying to bring himself to ask if he could court you.

AHH FIRST HAZBIN HOTEL POST!!! PLEASE LEAVE MORE REQUESTS I LOVE THEM <3333

[deathsbestgirl]

quagmire part two

@waiting-for-the-day here be nonsense

she agrees with him and she's funny.

scully is crazy. she thinks there's some non-human creature out their eating people and she just takes her little dog for a walk. she's fine, she's got her gun.

and queequeg is even worse!! these two and their no fear. this tiny little pup who should be afraid of the world goes running into the woods for a second time and this time gets EATEN. poor scully lol

but now we're getting to the best scenes, my favorites.

like when scully comes back, no queequeg in tow, mulder is still fixated as she's sitting in shock.

this man says "i'm sorry about queequeg" then rambles on about the pictures as if scully didn't just watch her dog eaten lmao and she's trying to listen to him, they still have a case & a pile of dead bodies they don't want growing but she comprehended nothing.

"i kind of faded out"

"can you drive a boat?"

(he really hated queequeg lmao)

AND HERE WE GO. the boat.

okay i love this scene soooo much. the part on the boat is so underrated.

that little line about expectation & hope, seek and ye shall find. i think mikaela already said it best:

(read the whole post: https://www.tumblr.com/waiting-for-the-day/722583454298079232/in-quagmire-after-the-boat-crashes-when-theyre)

earlier, scully played along with him talking about other sea monsters. here she's showing off some sailing skills *and* telling him a nice little anecdote about "here be monsters" — right up his ally as he's pouring over the map trying to tell her where to go.

(literally these little moments of sharing her childhood & nerdery, being his (best) friend, giving him those moments he didn't get to have as a kid, using it to bond with him, to show how she listens & cares and she's just like him really)

the jokes they make are so nerdy and it's a core part of their relationship. they both just store information in their brains in the hope they'll be able to whip it out to impress the other, or make them laugh.

~too bad we're not fishing~ ~we are fishing~

~here be monsters~ ~i have a map of nyc just like that~

and one of my favorite things about scully: when she doesn't know something, mulder must have the answers! ~what is that? what is that mulder?~ ~here be monsters, scully~ (and he does know this time, he just doesn't know what kind of monster they're actually going to find)

making jokes when their boat is about to sink with them on it. i love them. so unserious.

scully yelling mayday and mulder stopping her like honey we have to get out of here now please put on your life jacket — NO FEAR which is extra funny because she's about to give a speech about ~respect nature because it has no respect for you~

(oh the quips. "there goes our $500 deposit" and ~i say we swim~ ~swim? ...in which direction?!~)

cotr really has so much. it becomes a little breaking point for scully. at the beginning she was annoyed with mulder and she didn't understand why he was even interested in the case, and then when she sees the big blue sign she's exasperated. it also isn't a typical case he goes for. so yes, he's interested in big blue, not entirely out of the realm of possibility. but she can't figure out why, because what does this really have to do with his sister? what everything usually goes back to for him. she's been mulling this over since the episode started.

and now!! they're stuck on a rock in the middle of the lake and they have no idea if anyone heard their call & is coming. and he's still all ~that's big blue!~

scully: mulder, sometimes i just can't figure them out.

like she really really wants to understand him. she's always trying to understand him. big blue has her stumped.

and then they're interrupted by the DUCK and the humor is back

she's like ~how dare you joke about cannabalism it's real to me~

and ugh my favorite thing. mulder was too focused earlier to give space for scully losing queequeg. but he gets another opening here,. he has no idea what to do (and he really hated that dog). however there's one thing he can do and it's let her talk.

he asks why the name queequeg and she talks about moby dick and her dad and starbuck and it's so sweet & relatable (i have one cat named newspaper because my dad was always reading the paper — we had piles of them & i still have one he kept when obama became president — and another cat named saturn because he had a saturn & he loved that car & ya know, because space lol) and it's another way they open up to each other & bond & they're just best friends. this is a best friends conversation for sure. (and maybe dipping into how deep their relationship goes)

and then !!! scully has a revelation.

[scully finishes the line with him and they are both trying to impress each other here idc what anyone says. scully has that book memorized and mulder probably read it once, maybe twice and has been *waiting* to share this little tidbit with her for years!!!]

anyway. this whole conversation has been simmering. scully has been confused & frustrated, but she believes in mulder & she cares about him & she's going to follow him until they find the truth he's seeking. she's there for the journey, with all its circle & endless lines & aberrations. they've been making jokes & quips, giving each other small moments of levity to ease the tension surrounding them. all of it so they can get to the crux of it and that's what's happening on this rock.

she compares him to ahab "everything takes on a warped significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology" and "scully are you coming onto me?" (the way she ignores his ~flirting 90% of the time kills me, she's ~so funny) and "trying to do so will only leave you dead along with everyone else you bring with you" and god he's so serious & unserious, he can't have this conversation (which i think is something he really fears after scully's abduction, before it was just him, only he could be hurt or killed. that's not how it is now) without humor, so he talks about wanting a peg leg. "i'm not being flippant" and "and that's not flippant?"

(and nobody believes he wouldn't be hobbling around on a peg leg still doing exactly what he's doing now. the delusion that he could be content just living.)

and then farraday comes to save (ruin) the day "hope i'm not interrupting anything" how much did this man hear 🤣

they tell him about the boat sinking and when he asks, scully claims "it was my fault" instead of trying to explain to this non-believer that it was possibly big blue. god i love her.

and then the sheriff finds them, tells them about search. mulder tells him they need to search striker's cove but he doesn't listen til scully in her very judicious way says "Sheriff, Agent Mulder and I would appreciate it if you could spare two or three of your men to assist us here." and he agrees. scully's face:

and then farraday is attacked and he didn't see it (surprise surprise) and mulder is the first person to see what's attacking people and he's so sad it's an alligator which he kills (like he's soooo cute. he wants it to be big blue so bad but if it was he would have had to kill it and then he would have cried!!!)

and another underrated scene:

scully can see he's disappointed. he didn't find the big white whale he wanted, but he solved the case and saved more people from dying/attacks. she thinks he should be proud of the work he did.

scully finally gets it now. mulder wants something tangible too. he wants to keep hoping, he wants to believe. and he found hope in big blue's existence and he just wanted to experience something being real, with evidence & proof. (go read mikaela's post!! she says it perfectly)

and scully will always do everything to keep his hope & belief alive, to protect it. because it's precious. it's one of the most beautiful & special things about him. and it's this wonderful, quiet moment between two best friends who don't always get each other but they always try. they always listen. they stay by each other's side. for better or worse. the new ahab & starbuck.

(the way mulder has a natural skepticism he fights with thome & the desire to believe. i think he's afraid not to. the way scully has an innate ability to believe but it frightens her and so she fights it with skepticism)

[true-bean]

Weird shit I’ve heard high schoolers say/do

Yesterday was my official last day of high school and since the beginning of my freshman year I have been writing down the weird shit I hear high schoolers say and sometimes do. My friends are all still in high school but I just feel like I should end this in my senior year but they better stop sayin weird shit. Also the list ended up being too got damn long so it’s gonna be a strange post anyway here we go

"My dad spent 7 days in jail and I'm pretty sure he's gay now"

"She took my dress and cut it into a lesbian dress"

"My mom called the police on a hobo that lives in the woods between my house and food city"

"Were you there when he stuck tampons up his nose on the bus?"

"Ah it's crooked!" "Just like my sexuality"

"I told my wrestling team that I'm a lesbian so they won't flirt with me"

"I forgot that pennies aren't see-through"

*stacking books* "we gotta build trumps wall"

*taking down the books* "we gotta destroy trumps wall"

*student runs out and slams door followed by a student entering the class* "someone salty?"

"Its mostly just trump and president Obama and Vice President Biden because I love Biden memes"

"Troye Sivan is my god, he's my gay god"

"She gorgeous, angel birthed!"

Just has a fucking bitcoin fidget spinner spinning on his laptop

"I am a really aggressive note taker"

"You should see how many pens i have" - "name three" - "blue, red, and black" - "fair enough"

"Boy I hope Dylan gets here so I'll have someone to get lit with"

"Just pretend to be a lesbian for a day"

"Nothing like drinking cheese juice"

"My uterus hurts so fucking bad"

*over intercom* "Come watch me break mr. Brinkmans ankles"

*holds up connect 4* "I'm gonna kill somebody"

"I just told you I have a fucking orthodontist appointment"

"It's not my fault that you have a boney ass"

“I hate happy people”

“I don’t want the fish to get high”

“GOTTA SUCK IN THAT FIRE”

“Shut up we lost our streak!”

“How the fuck do left handed people survive?”

“I like growing boys”

“I’m going to sit on one of you”

“Okay boner buddy”

“Hey, straight people are so gay”

“You could say bubbles in German and it sounds like a hate crime”

“It is an allergic relaxation”

“Can we listen to monster while we’re in the ditch?”

*laughing* “I’m getting bullied by gays for being gay”

*from hallway* “Isabelle I need you!” - “you’re gay!”

“Yeah I didn’t reach that and now I feel like a failure”

“No Brittany that’s cannabalism”

“I just walked in there like yeet”

“Dillion you want a black baby?”

“We can watch shrek my twin brother”

“Oh my heck”

“Control your yeet”

*drawing a skull* “the eyes are uneven because that’s how I’m feeling”

“Can I big mood this?”

“Well I’m the aggressive note taker so”

“Quick Kaitlyn before the bell rings, does my hair smell like strawberries?” - “It smells like hair”

“Some mother truckin eggs”

“Jamie you yeeted it, this isn’t the time for yeeting that was a good yeet though”

*talking about laptop* “I like to ignore it until it dies so I can show dominance”

“Arms length bitch!”

“Why do I have popsicle sticks?” - “the real question is why wouldn’t you have popsicle sticks”

“What do you want?” - “death” - “from McDonald’s”

“If I can’t be straight in real life I can’t be straight in disc golf”

Just straight up sticks grass up another persons nose

“How do you feel about the word shit pickle?”

“A chrysalis is like a crunchy salty gusher”

“Let’s yeet our way to the band room”

*looking at hands* “I have turd fingers”

“I understand that you’re angry but put the cap on, be human”

“That grass taste pretty good”

“Beep beep I want death”

“These are pride flags you fucking demon”

“The gender neutral bathroom is the nicest bathroom I have lied on the floor of”

“It’s oof o’clock”

“I straight up yeeted my way down five steps”

“Listen I’m gonna use my tongue as my straw”

Presenting: “Lincoln’s biggest competition in the erection- aw shit-“

“Alex I don’t think I’m gay enough I should do cocaine”

“Oh my ass was just watering”

“You have an eyelash on your glasses” - “it makes me more threatening”

“It’s like slam poetry but it’s scary”

Happily, “Look at them flies die”

“I don’t like fingers”

“I was too savage for the soda”

“I have a breakdown over Owen Wilson’s nose at least once a day”

“You seagull the door”

“Are you claiming my ass”

“Great pace!” - “not really I wanna die”

“MY EYEBROWS ARE GONNA WASH OFF!”

“Anyone who invented running hated children”

“I’m going full on lesbian I don’t like guys anymore”

“It’s just a whole mess of just sadness”

“I’m gonna fuck the moon”

“That Oreo had sand in it” - “yeah no shit. We’re at the beach alex, everything has sand in it, including your ass”

“Polluting? Don’t you mean some dolphin will get sick shades”

“It’s an uwu day”

“That purple hat holds a curse, a moist, moist curse”

“It’s 5:04 you dingus”

“His hair looks like a lollipop dropped on the carpet”

“Are you uwu or are you uwoke?”

“I’ll give you hamlet for one cocaine”

“I’ll burn you with this corndog”

“I lowkey hate my life”

“And they tried to yeet him out of existence”

“I shouldn’t have heyawd”

“Alex. Why are you a failure?”

Just sticking pencils in his hair

“I’m starving I’m gonna eat my left arm”

“I wanna die myself”

[radicalreliablerandomness]

(it was 2 long 2 paste in the post lmao)

barry b benson x adam flayman

TW BEE SUICIDE ATTEMPT

adam sat upon the flower, observing the people around him. humans were so fucking stupid, honestly. like who the fuck would think that it was a good idea to put peanut butter and jelly in a sandwich together, when honey would compliment the jelly so much better? idiots. watching as a mother slathered her child with what seemed like way too much suncream, adam could not help but ponder how barry fell for one of these disgusting creatures. and one who looks like theresa may, none the less! barry had bad taste in the bitches if he did say so himself. although that was hippocritical for the bee who was in love with the bee who was in love with a human who looked like fiona from shrek in a human au. wait no, thats unfair on fiona, shes waaaaaayy better looking than that dumpster fire, bitch ass, boris johnson looking hoe with her short ass hair and stupid name. vanessa. ugh- even saying it made adam throw up in his mouth. vanes-augh. [wait can bees even throw up? eh, probably. what would they do if they accidentally ate a bit of a mARMITE otherwise,? that shit be nasty.] cant barry just requite his love and fuck him already? like, this isnt some angsty, 270k+, friends to lovers to enemies to lovers to friends to enemies to lovers fanfiction trope. it isnt 2004 people! sighing, adam ran a hand through his //moist// fuzz and thought about just jumping off of the flower and ending it all. after all, it was a rose, his brother's girlfriends step sister's son was killed by one of those. eh, whats he got to lose? like an alpha male, he triple flipped off of the rose, his small body getting closer to the thorns as every second passed, waiting for them to penetrate him. (ha, shame itd be the roses doing that and not barry, eh? ;))) until they didnt. what the fuck? he was meant to be dead and no longer have to face his unrequited love for his best friend and the fact that his mother was making him go on a vegan diet. (apparently cannabalism 'isnt good for his mental health.' well look where my mental health has gotten me now kAREN.) adams musings were interrupted by a voice. "jesus christ adam what the hell were you thinking?"

barry? barry had saved him? oh. well of course he had, barry was so fucking perfect with his black and yellow stripes and his sexy voice. goddamit, why did he have to have a nice personality too? why couldnt he just be an asshole fuck boy? "adam, can you hear me there buddy?"

buddy? ugh. i just got r/friendzoned.

"ugh yeah barry-buddy- i can hear you"

"great. now wHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING ADAM? YOU COULDVE DIED. DIED! YOU WOULD BE DEAD AND ID NEVER BE ABLE TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I-" barry broke down into sobs as adam patted his back gently, wondering what barry wanted to tell him.

"barry, its okay- you saved me. im here now and you can say whatever you wish."

"adam i- i- fuck."

"take your time, love. its okay"

barry looked at adam strangely as he realised what he had just said. LOVE? SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE THINKING?

"adam i love you."

adam waited; and waited; and waited. this had to be a joke. a cruel friendzoning or a shout of no homo afterwards. but barry was silent, looking everywhere but at him.

"-and" barry continued, finally locking his eyes with his sunlight struck orbs of amber.

"i know you love me too."

adam stared at barry, transfixed on the bee in front of him, the bee that he loved. how did barry know? apart from the slip up a second ago, he had done a pretty good job at keeping his emotions hidden. he was just a dude chilling in a honey tub, five feet away from barry because he wasnt gay. then it hit him, like a truck hitting a fox.

"sonofabitch you read my dream journal."

barry looked at him sheepishly, with guilt ridden eyes.

"well you left your diary at my house. and i read those pages, you really love me baby..."

adam coughed, trying to hide a splutter at the fact that barry had just called him baby. this bee was going to be the death of him.

"ha, yes-well. i- it is true. i do love you barry."

barrys face immediately broke out into a grin as he brought adam into a tight hug, clinging onto adam as if he were going to discintegrate, like voldemort in the deathly hallows movie despite the fact that in the books he just died like a normal fucking person. thanks hollywood. anyway, adam buried his face in barrys fuzz, finally at peace.

"waIT!" he screamed suddenly, pulling away.

"what?" barry answered, looking slightly scared for his life.

"what about vanessa?"

last time hed seen barry hed been infatuated with the she-demon, wtf happened? was barry fucking with him. he didnt want that. barry should be fucking him not fucking with him. what if-

"oh her? yeah she poured milk before her cereal. crazy bitch" barry stated, wrapping his fingers in adams fuzz.

adam giggled, relieved that this wasnt just a joke.

"yeah, i always got those kinda vibes from her."

he turned to see barry smiling softly up at him.

"yeah, i should have realised sooner."

and with that he was back in barrys arms, never wanting to leave.

IM CRINGEING BUT AT LEAST IM NOT A COWARD

“YOU READ MY DREAM JOURNAL” I AM ACTUALLY DYING OF LAUGHTER NOW THANK YOU FOR YOUR BRAVERY KIND SIR THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST PART OF THE DAY OH MYGOD I CANT ALSO PLEASE DONT BASH PB AND J ITS AMAZING 

[little-chattes]

Ice age is so much dunker if you imagine every single character is a gay man. Small ugly annoying twink pisses off gym gays who try to beat him up, forcing gruff old bear to take action. Twink is obsessed with bear. Meanwhile ex-military traditionally handsome gay is enaged in cagey action with his buds. Cannibalism! This shit is like moses! She puts her baby in the river! Twunk boss is a Donald Trump. Save the baby! Wasn’t mannys family killed by people? HA gruff cynical bear forced to adopt baby with ugly twink. Ellie is 100% a lesbian. This twunk wants to commit cannibalism. But oddball gay couple does not want the twunk to commit cannibalism. Twunk is like weirdly into ugly twink? “Stop swinging that thing around””I ain’t exactly lactatingright now” . The twink is playing football for his son!!! THEY COMMITED GENOCIDE TO FEED THEIR SON. THEY KILLED THE DODOS AND TOOK THEIR RESOURCES. twink wants bear to kiss him goodnight ahhhh.

Why is Diego in a cannabalism cult? How did he get involved in that? I guess the us really doesn’t support their veterans. THE SLOTHS HAVE HEART SHAPED BOOBS. Syd really . The baby’s people murder mannys family, but manny is helping the baby anyways . THE SONG. Oh now twunk and bear the dad’s and they have a baby and a baby gay. Baby gay can Ice skate . The small foreign man wants his nuts. Sometimes a family is three gay men, a baby, and the “send me on my way” song. Taffy tongue . Syd stumbles along a museum of mummified human remains. This movie is about a race war.

A post apocalyptic race war. It’s the Romeo and Juliet of our ages. Manny has a savior complex. What is ice age if not a metaphor for homosexuality. Everybody wants to eat manny. Syd lord of the flame. Iconic throuples. Final hot take, they should have kept the kid. The next 5 movies would be about them raising the kid. It could be a sitcom.

Actually a movie about the kid post movie would be cool. Like yeah my mom died but these three gay dudes rescued me from a cannibal cult. They thanks the bear by giving him a necklace made from the bones of your people

[r4tjam]

here is my sin 😔✌

adam sat upon the flower, observing the people around him. humans were so fucking stupid, honestly. like who the fuck would think that it was a good idea to put peanut butter and jelly in a sandwich together, when honey would compliment the jelly so much better? idiots. watching as a mother slathered her child with what seemed like way too much suncream, adam could not help but ponder how barry fell for one of these disgusting creatures. and one who looks like theresa may, none the less! barry had bad taste in the bitches if he did say so himself. although that was hippocritical for the bee who was in love with the bee who was in love with a human who looked like fiona from shrek in a human au. wait no, thats unfair on fiona, shes waaaaaayy better looking than that dumpster fire, bitch ass, boris johnson looking hoe with her short ass hair and stupid name. vanessa. ugh- even saying it made adam throw up in his mouth. vanes-augh. [wait can bees even throw up? eh, probably. what would they do if they accidentally ate a bit of a mARMITE otherwise,? that shit be nasty.] cant barry just requite his love and fuck him already? like, this isnt some angsty, 270k+, friends to lovers to enemies to lovers to friends to enemies to lovers fanfiction trope. it isnt 2004 people! sighing, adam ran a hand through his //moist// fuzz and thought about just jumping off of the flower and ending it all. after all, it was a rose, his brother's girlfriends step sister's son was killed by one of those. eh, whats he got to lose? like an alpha male, he triple flipped off of the rose, his small body getting closer to the thorns as every second passed, waiting for them to penetrate him. (ha, shame itd be the roses doing that and not barry, eh? ;))) until they didnt. what the fuck? he was meant to be dead and no longer have to face his unrequited love for his best friend and the fact that his mother was making him go on a vegan diet. (apparently cannabalism 'isnt good for his mental health.' well look where my mental health has gotten me now kAREN.) adams musings were interrupted by a voice. "jesus christ adam what the hell were you thinking?"

barry? barry had saved him? oh. well of course he had, barry was so fucking perfect with his black and yellow stripes and his sexy voice. goddamit, why did he have to have a nice personality too? why couldnt he just be an asshole fuck boy? "adam, can you hear me there buddy?"

buddy? ugh. i just got r/friendzoned.

"ugh yeah barry-buddy- i can hear you"

"great. now wHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING ADAM? YOU COULDVE DIED. DIED! YOU WOULD BE DEAD AND ID NEVER BE ABLE TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I-" barry broke down into sobs as adam patted his back gently, wondering what barry wanted to tell him.

"barry, its okay- you saved me. im here now and you can say whatever you wish."

"adam i- i- fuck."

"take your time, love. its okay"

barry looked at adam strangely as he realised what he had just said. LOVE? SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE THINKING?

"adam i love you."

adam waited; and waited; and waited. this had to be a joke. a cruel friendzoning or a shout of no homo afterwards. but barry was silent, looking everywhere but at him.

"-and" barry continued, finally locking his eyes with his sunlight struck orbs of amber.

"i know you love me too."

adam stared at barry, transfixed on the bee in front of him, the bee that he loved. how did barry know? apart from the slip up a second ago, he had done a pretty good job at keeping his emotions hidden. he was just a dude chilling in a honey tub, five feet away from barry because he wasnt gay. then it hit him, like a truck hitting a fox.

"sonofabitch you read my dream journal."

barry looked at him sheepishly, with guilt ridden eyes.

"well you left your diary at my house. and i read those pages, you really love me baby..."

adam coughed, trying to hide a splutter at the fact that barry had just called him baby. this bee was going to be the death of him.

"ha, yes-well. i- it is true. i do love you barry."

barrys face immediately broke out into a grin as he brought adam into a tight hug, clinging onto adam as if he were going to discintegrate, like voldemort in the deathly hallows movie despite the fact that in the books he just died like a normal fucking person. thanks hollywood. anyway, adam buried his face in barrys fuzz, finally at peace.

"waIT!" he screamed suddenly, pulling away.

"what?" barry answered, looking slightly scared for his life.

"what about vanessa?"

last time hed seen barry hed been infatuated with the she-demon, wtf happened? was barry fucking with him. he didnt want that. barry should be fucking him not fucking with him. what if-

"oh her? yeah she poured milk before her cereal. crazy bitch" barry stated, wrapping his fingers in adams fuzz.

adam giggled, relieved that this wasnt just a joke.

"yeah, i always got those kinda vibes from her."

he turned to see barry smiling softly up at him.

"yeah, i should have realised sooner."

and with that he was back in barrys arms, never wanting to leave.

OMFG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR OWN BEE MOVIE FANFIC IM- 

this is legendary i’m crying laughing oh my god 😂😭😭

[ivory-haired-queens-blog]

Unpopular Opinions: Fandom Edition

Hey none of you asked but I’m here to deliver so here are some unpopular opinions for the fandoms I’m in. Spoilers, duh.

Marvel:

I don’t like Natasha. Or Steve.

Pepper Potts is a top.

As much as I love Loki, his death was nessicary in Infinity War.

Steve should have killed Bucky in Civil War. He was a threat, plain and simple.

I ship Ironstrange/Supremefamily.

Clint should have died in Infinity War.

I love Tony Stark with my whole heart. (Not an unpopular opinion but you needed to know that)

I’m not happy with the end of Endgame.

10 years in the making....for you to do Thor like that?

Not because he’s fat or because he’s dealing with trauma, that’s totally acceptable.

What’s not acceptable is them making Thor into the butt of the joke because he’s fat.

I love the Antman movies.

I’m totally not biased because I loved lost.

(I’m kinda biased)

Shuri is the best Marvel character and would beat Tony Stark in a battle of wits.

(I’m so gay I love her.)

With as many years as Marvel has had the MCU, I am disgusted at the lack of diversity within the movies.

Like it’s 2019 and we JUST got a female empowerment scene in Endgame.

Like I want a gay superhero.

(We have a disabled one thank god. Love you Stephen.)

And don’t give me that Valkyrie/Captain Marvel BS because they never blatantly stated or showed it in their movies.

I want an Asian superhero bitch.

A superhero who is Muslim/Islam/and religion besides Christian.

I think that, as much as I hate Natasha and Steve, they should have been the ones that Bruce first sees in Infinity War. I know it set up the whole “earth is closed today” sequence but it didn’t make sense and was OOC.

I love Stephen Strange and he’s never done a single thing wrong ever in his life I would die for this man.

I like MCU Peter Parker over the origional movie Spider-Man.

Fight me.

I also like the Tony Stark/Peter Parker better than the Uncle Ben/Peter Parker so @ me.

The 100

I don’t ship Bellarke that hard.

Like yes, I think they’re obviously being groomed to end up together. I know the show runners will make them official before the end of the series. I’m not mad about that, I just don’t really care to be honest. It’s like, too obvious.

But there are some cute bellarke scenes

What they did to Monty was bullshit but what they did to Jasper was worse.

I feel no guilt whatsoever in saying that I think that killing all of Mount Weather was what they should have done from the beginning.

Yes, even the kids. Because if you kill their leaders, the men and women will fight back. The colony would have been left with a handful of adults, and a bunch of kids if the origional plan had worked. This is doomed to fail and honestly just killing them all would be better than seeing them kill eachother for food, power, whatever. If that makes sense.

I think that Finn deserved to die.

I think that Murphey deserves the world.

Charlotte fucking killed Wells. Yes she’s young but she knows better than to kill someone. Maybe not kill her, but we all know that Clarke wouldn’t have banished her like she did Murphey. Clarke has a gender bias because Murphey didn’t do anything and she wouldn’t have punished Charlotte as hard because she’s a young girl. I rest my case

Even though what he did was bad and wrong, I don’t think Murphey should have been banished. He’s right. They were all compliant and even excited when he was being hung, but when it’s a little girl all bets are off.

Like Bellamy brought the whole hostage thing upon himself because he fucking tied a noose around Murphey’s throat.

Again, not that what Murphey did was right. He didn’t have to act like that. Jasper didn’t do anything to him.

Also this segment is getting long but the show writers and everyone else just casually forgot that Murphey was TORTURED? Hello? Are we not going to acknowledge that?

I shipped Clexa with my whole heart.

Another actually popular opinion: what they’ve done to Raven’s character this season is bullshit. Her only role is Abby’s moral compass. This is the same girl who shuttled to earth in a Tin Can. She’s better than this.

What the fuck??? Happened to??? Jordan???

Like Madi stabbed him

And then they proceeded to not talk about it for like four episodes and then casually mention it in passing like “oh he saved Pria that means he gets to live”

Like they set up his character to be really important this season.

But he’s not.

I think that Murphey/Emori is the best ship.

I also think that Either Murphey or Emori or Both are secretly double crossing the Primes. (This comes out before the finale of season six)

They didn’t have to do Onyia like that

The opening of season three is so weak that I actually stopped watching the show around that time (I’d been watching since the beginning of season two) because there’s just nothing there in the first like 10 minutes and I couldn’t do it.

Maybe I’m just impatient but it’s bad.

I think that Octavia did the best that she could with what she had available and I think that’s she’s not a bad person for what she did with the fighting pits/cannabalism. And I know that if Bellamy had been in her place, he would have eventually done the same.

Kane was a whiny bitch in season 5.

Why’d the kill Diyoza(I can’t spell) like that?

I liked Joesephine. It was really fun to see Eliza Taylor be able to get a new character in the show. Also props to her for that last episode with pretending to be Joesephine and being Clarke at the same time.

I called the dude being Gabriel from the first time I saw him you peasants.

Octavia’s redemption arc this season is beautiful.

They did....that.....to Kane. I’m angerey.

Lost In space

Not enough people watch this show. (The Netflix remake or the origional)

Seriously guys it’s a good show.

Absolutely nothing is wrong with it.

I love Don West with my whole heart.

I love Dr. Smith with my half heart.

I love the robot with my two hearts.

I love Penny Robinson with all the stars in the galaxy.

I love all of them okay.

There are no plot holes, no inconsistencies, no faulty science and anyone who says (or proves) otherwise is wrong.

It’s confirmed for a season two which should air in like the December-February time area.

It’s a Netflix show so you can binge the entire season in like a weekend.

Seriously watch it.

The Umbrella Academy

Five x Delores is weird.

Luther x Allison is illegal.

Klaus deserves all the push pops in the world.

The handler is hot.

The Comission killed Dave.

Luther is the most boring, Unorigional, straight white guy character I’ve seen in a long time. I hate him so much.

Allison is a queen but her character is brought down by her weird relationship with her brother.

Tbh if I was Allison you know I’d be telling my kids that I heard a rumor that theyd go the fuck to sleep. Like that’s a good thing. Idk maybe I’m just a sociopath.

Istanbul not Constantinople being played over a scene where five murders a squad of Commission people is the greatest cinematic masterpiece ever conceived by man.

“Where are you going” “to save the world” “oh is that all?” Iconic.

None of these are really unpopular but the show writers seem to think differently.

Diego has never done anything wrong in his life like yaaaasss bitch kill your brother at yo daddy’s funeral!!! Work!!!

PaTcH

AAaAHh

Big Theif - Mary is the perfect song to play over Klaus returning from Vietnam.

Will you love me, like you loved me in the January rain?

It’s up there with Goodbye July.

Speaking of Goodbye July....

Z Nation

Many people haven’t watched it

It’s like if The Walking Dead and Zombieland had a baby....and then the baby did a line of cocaine.

It’s wild.

Watching Garnet die ruined every sliver of hope I had in humanity.

I have a special place in my heart for this show because it’s the first show that me and my mom would stay up and watch the new episodes air every Friday. It brought us closer and I can’t thank the cast and show runners enough for this.

So maybe I’m biased, but you should watch it.

Having Murphey switch from being an anti-hero to a villain back to an anti-hero and then to a regular hero, amazing. Astonishing. The peak of human existence.

Even though he’s not entirely human.

What color is Murphey today? Is he pale, discolored, grey, blue, red? We don’t know!

Roberta Warren is the Black Goddess main protagonist that we deserve.

Addison Carver is a functional Bi.

10k is tragic backstory central but other than that, his character development is pretty lacking other than him persuing love interests.

None of these are really unpopular opinions but I doubt any of you have watched the show. It’s on Netflix. Watch it.

Oooooohhhhh George.

Georgia St. Clair could stomp me to death and my ghost would still want to fuck her.

Anyways I’m gay

God damn I have a lot of pent up Gay energy.

Murphey and Lucy have a realistic enstranged father/daughter relationship and it’s heartwarming.

And then they killed her off to save him.

Honestly if you name a character Murphey they can only be assholish bad boys with a good heart deep down sorry I don’t make the rules.

Also if you name a character Murphey I will love them with my whole soul.

I’m so mad they cancelled the show.

I’m infinitely more mad that they named that disgrace of a show Black Summer and claimed that it was a prequel....but it didn’t follow the same cast and had they not advertised it as a prequel I would never have guessed.

Black Summer gives totally opposite vibes than Z Nation does. I get that black summer is supposed to be the worst time that the zombie apocalypse ever had, with cannibals and no food, but it feels like s completely different show.

It’s like if The Walking Dead claimed that it is a prequel/occurs during Shaun of the Dead.

Like....no. They’re....no.

Anyway watch it it’s good.

Detroit: Become Human

Connor isn’t the best character.

This is an unpopular opinion post deal with it.

Markus has to be my favorite.

Honestly this game is so good and not even just graphics-wise.

It’s the same robotic sentience story we’ve been fed for years, but this time it’s from the Android’s perspective and this time all they want is to be free. That’s it.

I fucking hate North.

Hank is literally if Rick from Rick and Morty were serious.

The only correct way to play Connor is to walk the thin line between deviant and regular A.I. Without leaving out Hank. The correct thing to do is make Conner deviant at Jericho.

The only correct way to play Kara is to protect Alice with every fiber of your being. Meanwhile, get close to her. Do not get caught, even if that means dissappointing her.

The only correct way to play Markus is to lead a peaceful revolution. Also tell North to fuck off.

The border patrol guy who either gets Kara and Alice caught or knowingly lets Androids cross the border is the best character. Forget about Markus, this guy sees either “oh fuck androids are killing people, maybe we shouldn’t let this one cross the border” or “Androids just want to be free and are peacefully fighting for this. Let this one and her daughter through.” I love him.

LUTHER.

YES DADDY.

anyway.

Let Out The Bear He Just Wants To Say Hi :)

Even though I think Conner is overrated by the fandom, I do like him.

But he’s not a pure innocent cinnamon roll either.

It depends on how you play, but he has really violent options so stop the “He wouldn’t harm a fly” attitude.

But he is cute.

The home screen for the game is revolutionary (no pun intended) and I hope future game follow suit in making the first impression of the game something cool.

Stealing clothes/money/the fence cutters is literally okay.

Also if you put Kara in white hair you can die.

If in your first actual play through you got the Kara lives at the recycling plant ending but Alice dies, you can die too.

I’ve never actually seen the steal money and go to motel option play out because it’s stupid, especially if you don’t steal clothes. Like that’s begging to be caught.

Stranger things

Billy Hargrove is bad and just because he’s abused does not make what he does okay.

Harringrove is gross and I’m gay so my opinion counts as double.

That being said, there are some really cute fics about Harringrove and I can see the appeal of “good boy falls for mysterious bad boy with a dark past and trauma”

I’ve said I’m gay this whole post because I say it a lot, but I don’t like actually labeling myself but I like girls and boys and everything in between and I say I’m gay kinda as a joke when girls are hot.

That being said...

Steve Harrington calling himself Daddy made me feel things.

Strange things.

Haha get it I’m making a joke to distract you from the daddy part.

Steve Harrington is a good person now, but he was still an asshole before and he can still be criticized for his past.

I used to be hardcore Jancy but after season three I feel like Nancy needs and deserves a break from boys so she can figure out herself and who she is now and what she wants to do without the weight of boys and boyfriends constantly around her.

That being said i still don’t like Nancy because she was flirting/slept in the same bed with Jonathan whilst obviously having feelings for him while she and Steve were still a thing. It’s not cheating but to me it’s close enough to raise red flags.

Robin is perfect in every way.

I don’t like Jonathan. He’s creepy in s1, fine in s2, but then is s3 he doesn’t do anything to or about his male bosses when Nancy is being made fun of because she’s a woman.

Seeing Nancy’s class priveledge/Jonathan’s male priveledge clashing was so cool tbh

Elmax > Mileven > Lumax

Jim Hopper, with all his faults, is still a caring dad.

Plus him threatening Mike made me laugh so hard sksksksks

Steve Harrington deserves the world and then some.

Low key I really want s4 to give in insight on his family life.

I also want him to get an apartment with Robin.

Robins cute tbh but for half the season I though she was a Russian spy. I guess I was wrong.

Mrs. Wheeler shouldn’t sleep with billy (not that she can now) because it’s wrong, but the reason she wanted to is because her husband is so boring and she gave up on her dreams to be his perfect housewife. She wanted a challenge with Billy. Instead, she should leave her pushover of a husband and find someone better.

Anyway Steve Harrington deserves the world.

Yeah okay hate me whatever.

[hgfstreamchats]

Welcome to the 'highglossfinish' room. Jalaperilo: C'mon knock knock, no need to wait, I'm here now caffienatedconfetti: currently, it is a very obnoxious green caffienatedconfetti: my eyes are burning Jalaperilo: Thats what I'm going for. I'm not even a fan of green, but I always feel my names colur is green Jalaperilo: But i feel we compliment as we are so contrasting lol caffienatedconfetti: lel Jalaperilo: aw caffienatedconfetti: i had to reload, i always lag here for some reason Jalaperilo: same. brbr Error logging out. caffienatedconfetti: hello naughty children it's time for scawwy stowwies caffienatedconfetti: JESUS I TAB AWAY FOR 5 SECONDS thenightetc: Is that someone doing a Goofy voice caffienatedconfetti: WHAT IS THAT VOICE Thebes: Hello! Thebes: I look forward to the halloweens! caffienatedconfetti: my life is suffering Highglossfinish: I've done my job. Jalaperilo: thanks knocktagon thenightetc: Oh, it's a podcast, not a movie? Highglossfinish: It's a movie, I'm just playing this first. thenightetc: Ohhh Jalaperilo: If you like stuff like this, Richard Coyle's narration of The Shadow Over Innsmouth is good Highglossfinish: Oooh, sounds horrifying! Jalaperilo: Lovecraft is good, if full of 'unspeakable horror' caffienatedconfetti: fish people caffienatedconfetti: i haven't read it yet thenightetc: It's probably run by the Devil or something. caffienatedconfetti: but i read mountains of madness and it was SPOOPY AS HECK Jalaperilo: Dagon and Herbert West: Reanimator are very good stories of his Jalaperilo: The latter was made into one of my favourite horror films of all time thenightetc: I rather like The Nameless City Thebes: yeah, the movie Reanimator is a fun time! Jalaperilo: Thebes - Jeff Combs is AMAZING in it Jalaperilo: also, the nameless city is also good Thebes: Plus it's just so over the top without losing the spoopy thenightetc: ...How deep is this straw, exactly Jalaperilo: i cannot understand what that announcer said thenightetc: Something about a tunnel? thenightetc: gosh, what's with this lag Highglossfinish: Is anyone else having a problem with it? thenightetc: (Lag in the chat, not the video/audio) Highglossfinish: Oh, the chat room lag. Jalaperilo: i am. i blame it on being on the other side of the world to (probably) most of you thenightetc: ...Seems legit! caffienatedconfetti: owwww caffienatedconfetti: oh heck caffienatedconfetti: oh gosh caffienatedconfetti: how subtle thenightetc: Ssoooo they make the parents forget the kids?  And then eat the kids? thenightetc: I mean, they were in the process of leaving.  Without their kid. Jalaperilo: well, memory is unreliable Highglossfinish: Something's certainly eating them. Jalaperilo: *claps* caffienatedconfetti: om nom nom caffienatedconfetti: child meat caffienatedconfetti: 10/10 would cannabalize again Jalaperilo: hahha! Jalaperilo: that made me laugh so much caffienatedconfetti: hehehheheheeeee caffienatedconfetti: the sound sounds weird caffienatedconfetti: that girls face caffienatedconfetti: "i'm so high lol" Jalaperilo: does anyone else get angry at the sound of people chewing? Thebes: yeeeah thenightetc: And/or hide it in his pockets thenightetc: ...Why not eat it on the way home, then Jalaperilo: cause he's a little *** Jalaperilo: are they having sex on the sweets? thenightetc: This is stupid. caffienatedconfetti: ew caffienatedconfetti: eeeeeeewwwww thenightetc: They're adults.  They can buy candy for themselves. caffienatedconfetti: maybe they're just cheap as heck Highglossfinish: Well, clearly I've been lied to about this being a good movie. Jalaperilo: did a 15 year old write this? thenightetc: It must be the *point* that it's the kid's caffienatedconfetti: OH THERE IT IS Jalaperilo: did they mean good or so bad its good Jalaperilo: nooooo Highglossfinish: Dear sweet Unicron! thenightetc: Unrealistic, he would have eaten tons on the way home thenightetc: That would have occured to literally any child who went trick or treating and was forbidden from eating the candy afterwards caffienatedconfetti: ok the ending was cool at least Highglossfinish: "Carpenter bar." How subtle. thenightetc: And hey, bad movies are almost as fun!  We get to mock them Highglossfinish: This is very true! Thebes: indeed! Highglossfinish: And I spy a couple of young humans that are about to end up dead. caffienatedconfetti: a small  boy is gonna crawl thru ur window and eat candy outta ur stomach caffienatedconfetti: OOOOOOOH SHI WHADDUP Highglossfinish: Is candy that tempting? thenightetc: Uh oh. Highglossfinish: Because I like rust sticks. I don't know that I'd go rooting around someone's tank for them. caffienatedconfetti: O FUQ caffienatedconfetti: EWEWEWEWEW Jalaperilo: its more the bodies addiction to the sugar in it, mixed with the flavour receptors in the tonge enjoying the sugar vs. how much you hate yourself thenightetc: uhhhHHHHHH caffienatedconfetti: EWEWEWEWEEWEWEW\ caffienatedconfetti: OOHOHOHOHO caffienatedconfetti: HOLY MOTHER caffienatedconfetti: NONONOONONOON Jalaperilo: also, how questonable your morals are and whether you want to turn into a wendigo thenightetc: I don't like that thenightetc: uh caffienatedconfetti: that is caffienatedconfetti: a thing thenightetc: Kid, why did you imply YOU killed them caffienatedconfetti: because kids in horror are stupid as heck Highglossfinish: I might be convinced to go wendigo for a mercury roll from that place in northern Vos. thenightetc: ...ewww thenightetc: dump his *** caffienatedconfetti: they're gonna egg a haunted nhouse Jalaperilo: woah! r word! caffienatedconfetti: I KNEW IT Thebes: jeez caffienatedconfetti: CALLED IT thenightetc: HAHAHA caffienatedconfetti: OH THEY SCREWED HIM OVER caffienatedconfetti: he fuqqed Highglossfinish: The End. thenightetc: Oh boy, it's the Actual Devil caffienatedconfetti: HE PRANKED THE DEVIL Highglossfinish: I like the Actual Devil's style. caffienatedconfetti: creepy old guy thenightetc: How do you live next to the devil for years and not know it caffienatedconfetti: because he's actual satan Jalaperilo: if you read the bible, the devil was actually an ok guy Highglossfinish: And that escalated quickly! caffienatedconfetti: he's satan Jalaperilo: this is actually quite funny caffienatedconfetti: well yeah but caffienatedconfetti: so he's jaunting around with satan thenightetc: Ah, armed robbery, a classic jolly halloween prank Thebes: As y'do Jalaperilo: are they trying to remake The Mask? caffienatedconfetti: our hero, satan caffienatedconfetti: OH HECK Jalaperilo: hahaha! caffienatedconfetti: he's doomed caffienatedconfetti: OH MY GOD Jalaperilo: what the *** caffienatedconfetti: pervert satan thenightetc: This is extremely disproportionate Thebes: THIS TOOK A TURN Highglossfinish: This took many turns. thenightetc: Wait Highglossfinish: This is "cautionary tales for newbuilds" with an all interbuild writing staff. thenightetc: Was that demon's name "Mordenkainen"? thenightetc: (From the previous one) Jalaperilo: mordecai? thenightetc: Oh. Jalaperilo: i think thats an actual demons name? caffienatedconfetti: oh *** thenightetc: Haha, wow thenightetc: Yeah, I think you're right caffienatedconfetti: call the police caffienatedconfetti: CALL THE POLICE Jalaperilo: nice continuous tracking shot Jalaperilo: hitchcock would be proud caffienatedconfetti: jessus Jalaperilo: but....why? Jalaperilo: wheres the caution? caffienatedconfetti: EW thenightetc: It's like that bird movie caffienatedconfetti: holy caesar's ghost batman caffienatedconfetti: this escalated EXTREMELY quickly Jalaperilo: the interbuilds got lazy in their writing thenightetc: Uhhhh caffienatedconfetti: remember kids: have proper hygene when on a murder spree Jalaperilo: i am so lost thenightetc: W...what Jalaperilo: i dunno if i'm just tired and its 2:15am or if this is *** batcrap writing caffienatedconfetti: it's batcrap Jalaperilo: oh god, here comes the racism thenightetc: I understand nothing that just happened caffienatedconfetti: wait he isn't black thank jesus Jalaperilo: i heard 'wrong side of the tracks' and 'hoodrat' and assumed america at its best lol caffienatedconfetti: speaking of, everyone is white Highglossfinish: This is an utter trainwreck. caffienatedconfetti: knockout, you should try grabbing some japanese horror flicks next year caffienatedconfetti: their urban horror legens kick butt Jalaperilo: i'm not good with anything actually scary caffienatedconfetti: like the lady who's 8 feet tall and whose prescene is preceded by someone mimicking the sound of drums in an inhumanly deep voice caffienatedconfetti: also, she's a demon caffienatedconfetti: which is always fun Highglossfinish: I do have a promising zombie movie lined up... caffienatedconfetti: then the lady cut in half by a train who chops you i half and takes your legs Jalaperilo: or the demon with an eye in its butthole thenightetc: parkour~ caffienatedconfetti: and the lady with a scarred face who asks you if she's pretty, and she scars you like her if you say yes and kills you if you say no caffienatedconfetti: is he wearing a bunny costume thenightetc: What IS this caffienatedconfetti: so many child cults Jalaperilo: cause children are the c word caffienatedconfetti: yes thats how spelling works caffienatedconfetti: it's dat boi thenightetc: Ewwww. Jalaperilo: haha Jalaperilo: a boo from super mario thenightetc: Ha! Jalaperilo: thats the kinda talk that gets your car wrapped around a tree thenightetc: Little too on the nose there caffienatedconfetti: of course Highglossfinish: This is coming dangerously close to making me hate Halloween. Jalaperilo: welcome to the club! caffienatedconfetti: NO Highglossfinish: It's already the season where cars get egged; it doesn't need any more help. caffienatedconfetti: it's not that bad cheezy but nice thenightetc: I hate mirror scenes thenightetc: you just KNOW Highglossfinish: This one at least seems to have a sense of restraint. Sort of. caffienatedconfetti: DOG caffienatedconfetti: IT'S A PUPPER caffienatedconfetti: if they kill the dsog i will flip Jalaperilo: i think i'm meh about it cause we never really celebrated halloween as a country until the past few years, where it has become very americanised thenightetc: jeez Jalaperilo: steal a child thenightetc: Uhhhhhh thenightetc: What caffienatedconfetti: oh dear Jalaperilo: is this an analogy for domestic abuse? caffienatedconfetti: ew thenightetc: Maybe? thenightetc: Uhhh thenightetc: ...oh god thenightetc: the dog :( thenightetc: "please forget everything you just saw" Jalaperilo: knock out, thats you Highglossfinish: Don't even joke like that. caffienatedconfetti: um caffienatedconfetti: ew caffienatedconfetti: no please Highglossfinish: I'm liking how '"ew" is our word of the night. thenightetc: why does she keep adjusting her cleavage for an audience of children :| caffienatedconfetti: NO THANK YOU caffienatedconfetti: I AM VERY UNCOMFORTABLE caffienatedconfetti: ewwwwww thenightetc: Thank god they DON'T have a child, honestly caffienatedconfetti: ohoiohoho i dont like this Highglossfinish: I've actually muted it myself. Jalaperilo: no, ko, if we have to duffer, you have to caffienatedconfetti: nonohohoohohop caffienatedconfetti: YOU HAVE TO SUFFER WITH US Highglossfinish: Sorry? What's that? Can't hear you over the sound of the muted video! caffienatedconfetti: I SUFFERED YTHROUGH BIRDEMIC Jalaperilo: (it's still you) thenightetc: oh man thenightetc: poor guy caffienatedconfetti: OH GOd still a half hour Highglossfinish: This is profoundly unpleasant. Jalaperilo: is this all happening in the same town? caffienatedconfetti: i cant do it man, it was charming before but now it's just weird caffienatedconfetti: i'm tired thenightetc: We COULD watch something else caffienatedconfetti: hint hint Highglossfinish: If anyone has any alternative suggestions, please. By all means. caffienatedconfetti: lol jk im going to bed caffienatedconfetti: suffer thenightetc: Zombieland? caffienatedconfetti: SEE YA LATER SUCKERS Jalaperilo: From Beyond?> Jalaperilo: brain dead thenightetc: Idk, first thing that came to mind. Jalaperilo: buy confettinated coffe Highglossfinish: Goodnight, confetti human! Jalaperilo: *bye thenightetc: Goodnight! thenightetc: Oh, these are fun!  For a given value of "fun" Thebes: indeed Highglossfinish: Anything's an improvement over what we just watched. thenightetc: They're going on a bit, aren't they thenightetc: ...Yeah, that sounds like something someone would say thenightetc: I can't believe this woman is thirsty for Jesus Jalaperilo: if you like horror, a good series of 'The History of horror with Mark Gatiss'is very good. all about the early history of horror, inc. hammer horror and british horror. and mark gatiss is very cleaver Highglossfinish: I like! Jalaperilo: 'the behind me candles' haha Jalaperilo: i like diet dr pepper Thebes: thiss... wow Highglossfinish: I like the demon's Old Gregg voice. Jalaperilo: haha Jalaperilo: I'm old gregg! Jalaperilo: you ever drunk baileys out of a shoe? thenightetc: man, Chick definitely had the knack of writing Real Human Conversations thenightetc: "No, we're not afraid, you're just really *** annoying" Jalaperilo: remember that there are humans out there that believe tat the world is 4000 years old Highglossfinish: Hah! Highglossfinish: Ahhhh...humans are adorable. thenightetc: *long-suffering sigh* Jalaperilo: at 4000 you were probably still trying to eat paste Highglossfinish: At 4000, I still believed a razor snake lived in the washracks. Jalaperilo: aw Highglossfinish: And that it would bite me if I lied to my caretakers. Jalaperilo: when i was very little i believed that the taller you were the older you were so my dad, who was the tallest person i knew was 99 years old (he was 28 and 6'2") Highglossfinish: ...Wait, so humans don't just keep growing indefinitely? Jalaperilo: i also used to believe that if i wasnt asleep at night a man flew over each house and got you if you were still awake Jalaperilo: no one told me that, i came up with it on my own thenightetc: ...I think it's possible to have a disorder along those lines, but I think it tends to cause early death Highglossfinish: Huh! The things you learn at stream night! Jalaperilo: i used t believe some right crap. my cousins innocently told me toys came alive at night (this was back in 1989, before toy story Jalaperilo: ) Jalaperilo: and so i was convinced my stuffed tiger was going to eat me Jalaperilo: no wonder there were nights where i couldnt sleep lol Highglossfinish: That's adorable. Jalaperilo: i guess believing scary crap as a youngling is universal Highglossfinish: Naturally. It builds character. Jalaperilo: The Craft is also a good movie Highglossfinish: Goo. thenightetc: Goooooo. Jalaperilo: orgy goo Jalaperilo: dont HAVE to pair up in an orgy. threesomes exist i guess? thenightetc: So now JESUS is her familiar spirit, apparnetly Highglossfinish: Ugh, owls. Jalaperilo: he turned watcher into wine and fed 5000 with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread Jalaperilo: kif that aint magic.... Jalaperilo: i read the other day owls make no sound when flying so you'll never hear Yofuu coming hahaha Highglossfinish: I've yet to hear Yofuu coming in all the years I've known them. It's horrific. Jalaperilo: i love yofuu. they have beena source of entertainment for years, esp. their pestering of you thenightetc: Sadly accurate Highglossfinish: I've tried to expect them so that they can't strike when I'm not. Jalaperilo: but they always find their way to your head Highglossfinish: Sadly. Jalaperilo: ok. time for bed! mucho love to you all! x x x x thenightetc: Goodnight! Highglossfinish: Goodnight! Highglossfinish: I should pack things up as well. Highglossfinish: Good night, and apologies for subjecting you all to that drainage! thenightetc: Goodnight!  And, hey, it's fine, these are fun anyway. Thebes: goodnight!

[handleyourscandal]

Buckle in, we’re in for the next era of Taylor Swift media takeover. Plenty of long form and thinkpieces were penned during 1989 which was initially welcomed and soon wore out its welcome which saw Taylor cannabalize her own persona. And then she vanished into the night under the guise of serious artist getting back to work.

So....did she learn anything.

Tom Hiddleston learned he most likely lost out on playing James Bond after his antics while dating her. He seems to have gone back to theater to be a “serious actor” and rehab his status.

Given the overwhelming lukewarm to negative reception of Look What You Made Me Do, most signs point to NOPE. I listened to the track once with several pause breaks because it felt like a chore to get through the song.

This morning I wake up to find that the teaser for the video is already being (rightfully) shredded on Twitter due to how visually it looks like Beyonce’s video for Formation. And Taylor being raked over the coals for daring to co-opt Bey’s visions. And we haven’t even gotten the full video yet!

Taylor had to answer for (ok her people did) for the fact her new album happens to be coming out on the same date that Kanye West’s mother passed. Here’s where we’re already in the mess - a source explained how release dates work and this was just a coincidence. It should have come from a named person at the record label. There should have been apology from Taylor herself to answer for this and apologize. “I was not aware of the meaning of the date to Kanye and I apologize for this coincidence. Kanye has spoken many times about how much his mother meant to him and what an amazing woman she was. I was never intending to step on his toes.” Or she needs to go full villain and say “yes I know how a calendar works and picked the date for a reason and Kanye knows what he did to me.” Instead, she’s letting everyone else plug the holes and fill in the gaps as she’d like.

And let’s all take a breath while we wait for the music video to arrive. It already seems unlikely it will salvage feelings toward the song.

Taylor my dear, control your narrative.

You need to handle your scandal.