#she wants me to eat salted avocado

[jsprnt]

Americano PT. 10 | Jude Bellingham x Reader

What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?

A/N: wrote this in between study breaks, I’m totally spent 😭😭

W/C: 3.523

part nine

"So, uh- do you have any allergies?"

I mutter awkwardly, standing in the middle of the kitchen, eyes on Jude as he sits across from me at the kitchen island.

He folds his arms across his chest, raising his head to look over at me.

"Are you planning something?" He eyes me suspiciously, causing a tired sigh to leave my mouth.

"Shut up- answer the question.." I raise my wooden spoon, threatening him.

"No, I don't have any allergies. Is that good enough?" He replies, Brum accent making him sound even more defensive.

"Ungrateful ass.." I mutter, turning around and starting to work on breakfast.

I had slept horribly after last night’s events. I'd reckon- maybe, six hours in total. It was our day off- thankfully, but that didn't mean that I trusted Jude to rummage through my house on his own while I rotted away in bed.

My dad had called earlier, wanting to explain the situation to me clearly without leaving any important details out.

Apparently, last night Jude's place was broken into again. This time, he was at home to actually witness it happen. I'm not sure what transpired between the intruder and Jude. Since, my dad had told me it would be too invasive for me to know.

From what I knew, it was the same person as last time- or how many damn times this had happened. This case had been keeping my dad busy for months now, and it only found a way to piss me off even more.

Either Jude had the shittiest security, or- did he even have security?

"Can't believe I'm cooking for you.." I mutter, hearing the drag of his house slippers against the floor as he walks up to me.

"What are you making?"

I move away, so he doesn't touch me, giving him a side eye as I crack four eggs in a pan.

"Eggs.." I say, moving back when oil splashes up.

"Can you cook?" He asks, eyes moving in between the stove and my face.

"Kind of.." I say, hesitating with my reply.

I knew how to cook the basics. Say, your pastas and soups. Though, I like to think I'm improving every time auntie Carmen comes over to show me how to cook another delicious meal.

"How do you like your eggs?" I ask, raising my head to look up at him. He has a confused expression on his face and his gaze is fixed on me.

Fuck, did that sound wrong?

"More runny or cooked?" I ask, grimacing to myself as I sprinkle salt and pepper into the pan.

"You've cooked it- enough.."

"Oh, okay.." I mentally curse at how stupid I sound, looking away from him.

I quickly plate it up for him, not forgetting the avocado and barely toasted pieces of bread.

Well, too bad for him.

We eat our breakfast without speaking to each other. I can only hear the crunch of my bread and clatter of the cutlery against the plates.

I look up at him when I've cleared my plate, wiping crumbs from the corners of my mouth.

"How long are you staying?"

"Are you trying to kick me out already?"

I give him a look, raising my brows as if to tell him he already knows my answer.

"I don't know- depends on the situation.." He says, rubbing his hands against his gray sweatpants.

I sigh, rubbing my temples in irritation.

"Where's your mom anyway?" I ask, remembering that they literally lived together.

"I made her go back to England for my brother’s games. She's always spending more time with me- felt bad for the lad.." He answers, looking away.

"Last night?" I ask, raising my voice in surprise.

"No, during international break. I wasn't playing remember.."

"Oh- that's good, I guess.." I trail off, realizing we're going to be home alone for a while.

Silence falls in between us, and I begin picking at the loose threads of my old pajama top. It was old, but so comfy to sleep in.

"Okay, uh- let's clean up, and I'll give you a quick tour of the place." I jump up from my seat, grabbing my plate off the table, and walk over to the sink.

I look back when he doesn't get up. I raise a brow, sending him a questioning look.

"What are you doing? Clean up.." I say, waving him over. I watch him grab his plate and cutlery- a comical sight that had me struggling to keep my composure.

He places the plate in front of me, looking at me like he's expecting me to do something.

I step back, folding my arms.

Woah, he looked clueless.

"Do you even know how to do- like the dishes or laundry?" I ask, eyeing him up and down.

"Not really.."

"You're what? Twenty and don't know how to do your own laundry?" I pull a horrified face.

"Do you think it's okay to freeload?" I question, immediately grabbing his wrist to drag him upstairs to the laundry room.

Did he think this was a five-star hotel or something?

"I can't believe I have to drive you there. Why don't you have a license?" I whine, walking into the bathroom and seeing him fix his hair. The array of skincare, haircare and bodycare all on the counter in front of him.

Why did I think that he only used a block of soap and aftershave?

He turns away from the mirror, taking a step closer to me as I passive aggressively grab my toothbrush.

"Why wouldn't you want to drive me?" He questions, his voice full of mockery.

I wet my toothbrush and the blob of toothpaste, starting to brush my teeth as I look up at him.

"Do you know how crazy it looks for a staff member to arrive with a player in her car?"

I mumble, probably half audible, as I spit foam into the sink.

He grimaces at me, and I watch him take a step away from me via the mirror.

"Oh, you're dramatic.." I mumble, running the brush over my teeth again.

"Everyone thinks we're together anyway- does it even matter at this point?"

I freeze, turning to him with white foam dripping down the corner of my mouth.

"That's even worse.." I shake my head, giving him a once-over before starting to rinse my mouth.

"Pre-match meal is at...?" I question, waiting for him to finish the sentence while I dry my hands and mouth.

"Half past two." He replies, making me nod.

"Okay- give me an hour.." I say, quickly running to my room to change and get ready.

It was match day against Granada. Thankfully, after this we got some more days off.

We had to get to the training center early, mainly due the fact that I had become Jude’s private driver.

When my father told me I had to drive him around, I almost fell to my knees in sheer despair, not believing the torture I had to go through.

I didn’t even get anything in return, well, maybe I’d bug my dad for another pretty handbag- or two.

Pre-match meals are usually about three to four hours before the match. Normally, I could arrive very late and still manage to snatch a nice plate, but because of Jude - that wasn't possible today, and probably until he’s moved out of my place.

y/n's only half-way through her 'getting ready' playlist when she hears multiple loud knocks on her bedroom door.

"What?! Stop banging on my door! You don't even pay rent!" She shouts over the music, watching the door handle twist.

She turns away from her vanity mirror, makeup brush in her hand, as she sees Jude walk into her room.

"Who invited you in?" She questions, gasping when he goes to sit on her nicely made bed, wrinkling the fabric.

"Me, you’re taking so-” He begins, but he's immediately cut off when she shouts.

"Wait- shut up.."

She says, turning away to sing along with the song currently playing from her phone.

"We do the things but we know it's wrong

All on my skin, you all in my palm

I sent you a envelope, came with a poem

You possess venom that came with a charm

You get the good out me when I perform

I know the bad in you, that's what I want

And you a baddie, you turnin' me on."

Seems like she forgets he's even in her room, singing along to the Future verse while she dots a good amount of blush on the apples of her cheek.

He sighs loudly, continuing to stare at her from behind. She doesn’t notice at all, now way too invested into getting ready while listening to her favorite songs.

Jude runs a frustrated hand over his face, taking in the way she sings along with the all-too-familiar-sounding song lyrics, hoping she can hurry up soon.

"Do I have to take you home too?" I ask, getting up from the comfy chair I'm in. Following Jude towards the dressing room. Relieved after a 2-0 win against Granada.

The sound of his cleats hitting the floor is loud, and I stop right at the entrance of the dressing room when he stops in his tracks.

"I can call a taxi, probably.."

I search his face for any annoyance or anger, but don't see anything like it. Instead, in a strangely familiar way- his eyes are wide and expressive. He looks more unsure and uncomfortable than I've ever seen him.

"It's fine- we're going to the same house anyway.." I whisper, dismissing his words with a wave. 

"I have to go back to the training center though.. Can you stand tagging along with me?" I question, raising my brows in anticipation.

"Yeah, I'll just get freshened up really quick.." He says, stepping inside and closing the door since he was the last player to enter.

After saying bye to everyone, I sneakily walk up to my car. Almost jumping out of my skin when I see Jude already standing at the passenger door.

"What are you- get in.." I sigh, unlocking the door and stepping in.

The ride over to the training center is awkward and quiet, to say the least. I'm not in the mood to look through my playlist- and I'm sure he isn't either, by the way he's busy scrolling on his phone.

I park my car in my designated spot in the staff parking lot, looking over at him.

"Do you want to stay in the car?" I ask, unbuckling my seatbelt, and glancing at him.

"No, I'll come with you.." He replies, stepping out of the passenger’s seat and following me inside.

"I need to leave this bag here.." I inform, locking the car as the both of us walk inside the center.

He doesn't reply, not that it's necessary.

I walk up to the office, still hearing Jude walk right behind me.

"You're following me like a lost puppy.." I mutter, unlocking the door of the room I'm supposed to leave the equipment in.

"Okay, damn, I'll be downstairs.." He sneers, turning away and leaving immediately.

I shrug to myself when he leaves, finishing my business before going down as well.

I shove my keys into my bag, swinging it on my shoulder, then go looking around for Jude.

I enter the meeting room he and other players would hang out in, but don't see him. Stepping out, I look up from the door, walking in and out of the other meeting rooms.

"Where the fuck are you?" I mutter, reaching for my phone to call him, only to remember that I don't even have his phone number.

"Looking for something?"

I almost scream out loud when I hear a deep voice behind me. I turn, trying to not look like the person scared the crap out of me.

Oh, the creepy coworker. How fun.

"No, just dropped off some equipment upstairs.." I quickly say, rubbing my hand against my jeans.

I watch his eyes flicker to the keycard around my neck, which I forgot to take off.

"Coming from Bernabéu, y/n?"

Why did he know my name?

"Yeah, busy day.."

He stares at me, not saying anything else. I mentally hype myself up to say something, maybe to learn more about him.

"What's your name? We've seen each other around, but I don't know your name.” I say, shifting nervously as his blue eyes peer into mine.

"Andrés, fitness department. I'm new.." He says, sticking out a ghostly hand for me to shake.

"Right, nice to meet you. I would introduce myself too, but you seem to know already. How come?" His grip is tight, so I tighten it even more.

Give me a rough handshake, and I’ll break your hand out of pettiness.

"Everyone here knows you.." He replies, there is a harsh, but breathiness to his voice and it causes chills to run down my spine.

I clear my throat, realizing he still hasn't let go of my hand.

"Because of my father, yeah.." I fake a chuckle, trying to pull my hand back.

"No, not because of mister l/n.." My breath hitches audibly at his tone, and I try to snatch my hand back even more forcefully.

He doesn't even flinch, continuing to stare down at me.

"y/n, here you are.." I hear a familiar voice say, breaking out of this weird fucking trance.

My head snaps up, my eyes going wide, when I see Jude stepping out of the meeting room I had not checked out yet.

I use the opportunity to snatch my hand away from Andrés, rubbing my hand to fix my blood flow.

I watch Jude give him a look, death stare imminent when he walks up to us.

"Andrés? What are you doing here, it's late." He says, for some reason, slower than I have ever heard him speak.

"Work, busy.." He answers, trying to speak English with a broken Spanish accent.

Oh, he didn't speak English?

I watch a strange interaction between them, a jumble of Spanish and English. I try my best to understand, but it seems like both men throw in some gibberish too.

Finally, when they're done with their simlish, I'm grabbed by my hand, dragged away by Jude.

"What the hell is his problem?" I exclaim, still feeling my hand ache from the pressure.

"He's been fuckin' weird, don’t like him..” He mutters, walking ahead of me while still dragging me along.

I struggle to catch up with his long strides, his warm palm pressing into mine as he looks back at me.

"You okay?" He questions, stopping abruptly, causing me to smash my face against his arm.

"Ow- not anymore.." I mutter, rubbing my nose in agony with my free hand.

"Oh- shit, sorry.." He spits, his hand still on mine. I remove my hand from my face, raising my chin to look up at him.

"Am I bleeding?" A dramatic question, but you never knew with his rock-hard, muscular- arms..

I blink up at him, feeling his hand come up to my chin. He pinches my face, making me move my head.

"No, no blood- I think.." He breathes out, eyes roaming around my face to check for any blood.

I make sudden, close eye contact with him. His brown eyes catching mine, breath fanning my face.

We stare at each other for a moment. His hand still clearly on mine while he cups my face to look at me.

I realize the position we're in and step back. I eye our intertwined hands, looking back up at him as if to tell him to let go.

He clears his throat, dropping my hand like it's hot, and stepping back.

I decide to pretend I don't give a fuck. Ignoring the drumming of my heart, and grab my car key out of my bag.

"Get in.."

"Smash.." I say, maybe for the 10th time this hour.

"Oh my days, can you stop saying that?" Jude exclaims, a bewildered expression on his face as he looks over at me.

"Can't, it's Michael B. Jordan, and you want me to sit still?" I ask, earning a grunt from him.

"You're unbelievable.."

I ignore him, continuing to drool over the screen while I shove popcorn into my mouth.

"What are you going to do? You're off for four days.." I ask, sprawled out on the couch, in front of the TV.

"I have physical therapy every day, can't leave the city.." He complains, sitting on the couch across from me.

"Oh, how inconvenient- wait, who's driving you?.."

"Don't you worry, I've got someone driving me.." He sneers, folding his arms.

I roll my eyes, going back to watch the movie on the screen.

A hot man could make a boring movie so incredibly interesting.

"I'm not home tomorrow. Will you survive being home alone for the rest of your day?" I question, flickering my eyes back to him.

"Where are you going?"

"Taking my last exam, library helps me focus better.." I stuff another handful of popcorn into my mouth.

"Last one?"

"Yeah, I need to go revise a little." I sit up, pausing the movie, and getting up from the couch.

"Have it.." I shove the bowl of popcorn into his hands, walking up the stairs to my room. Ready for this exam to be over already.

“What the fuck was that.." I whisper to myself, hitting my head on my steering wheel repeatedly. I had long driven home from the library, not caring to step out of the car, parked in the driveway.

I had studied hours on end, but when I was presented with the questions, my brain practically short circuited, causing me to blank out so much information I needed to know.

I'm on the verge of tears at this point. Normally, after the last exam of the semester, I'd be jumping from joy, but the way this exam had gone- I wanted to cry buckets of tears.

I sniffle, wiping my nose with my sleeve. Not caring about the foundation stain left on it, and grab my bag from the backseat. I get out of my car, unlocking the front door of my house quickly.

I expect the house to be quiet, but instead I hear loud music. Old 80s songs, solely about love. Music only I knew auntie Carmen loved listening to while cooking.

I drop my bag at the front door, blinking repeatedly to hide the tears in my eyes. I shrug my jacket off, the December cold had come in full force. Though, to me, nothing was worse than winter in London anyway.

"Harina, say it, young man.." I hear auntie Carmen say in Spanish, a voice following behind her.

"Harina? Harina.." A broken accented voice says. I raise my brows, my tears and worries in the back of my mind now.

Curiosity takes over, and I immediately walk towards the kitchen, where the noises are coming from.

I'm greeted by the sight of auntie Carmen and Jude standing next to each other. Both wearing aprons as they are kneading dough on the kitchen island. Flour sprinkled on the marble as I hear Jude repeat random Spanish words, often getting corrected by my auntie.

She didn't even speak a lick of English. How did they even communicate?

I clear my throat, taking their attention away from the slabs of dough on the counter.

"Oh- you're home.." She smiles warmly at me, beckoning me over with a flour-covered hand.

"What's this?" I ask, stepping closer and speaking in Spanish.

"We're making pizza from scratch, sweetie." She says, giving me a kiss on my cheek.

"With him?" I point to Jude, watching him pound the dough with unnecessary aggression.

"What do you mean? Jude is so good at this, look at him go..” She smiles, saying his name with the utmost affection. He looks up confused, but I ignore him further.

What the hell did he do to make her like him already?

"Your boyfriend is a better cook than you already..”

I pull a horrified face, eyes going wide as my arms fall to my sides. I glance at Jude, noticing that he hadn’t even flinched at the words.

Thankfully, his Spanish classes weren’t so advanced yet…

I lean in close to her, whispering, well whisper-shouting.

“He’s not my boyfriend..” I say, pulling a face. I watch the corners of her eyes crinkle as she smiles.

“I know, I’m just joking. Your dad called me about this entire situation already..”

“Why would you say that, then?”

“He’s handsome, isn’t he..” She says out loud, making me facepalm.

First, he steals my dad’s time, then my house, and now my auntie?

I look at him, watching him knead the dough, a smirk forming on his face.

I want to strangle him right here and now..

It’s only been a couple days, and this was too much for me already.

[goatcheesecak3]

What I think saw characters eat for breakfast

I'm not sure why but all these make perfect sense to me

John

I feel like John likes to keep it simple with egg and soldiers, not too much salt but a lot of pepper. If he wants to treat himself though, he'll make himself scrambled eggs on toast and a little salad. (He is my peepaw and I love him)

Amanda

She's an omelette girly <3 if she's got any vegetables knocking about she'll put them in, if not it's all just very plain. She prefers something more exciting, but can only really have something convenient and quick, considering how busy she is.

Lawrence

This man loves, and I mean LOVES, avocado on toast. He probably gets fancy bread from some market, and if he knew what the hell an Instagram was, he would post a picture of it with some corny caption like "what a way to start my day!🤗☀️🥑"

Adam

He doesn't eat breakfast most days, and when he does it's usually unbuttered toast. But in an ideal world, if he had the time and the money, he'd have pancakes with chocolate sauce every day. What can I say? I think he's got a sweet tooth.

Hoffman

I think Mark had a full English ONCE and never looked back. He doesn't have time to make one every day, but he'll be damned if he doesn't at least make himself a bacon sandwich with LOTS of brown sauce

Strahm

I think strahm is big fan of porridge with some jam in it. He makes a big deal of it being "healthy, yet tasty!"

Lynn

Lynn is a busy gal, her job means early mornings and a sporadic schedule, so there's no time to make a real breakfast. I think she's big into fruit smoothies for a quick breakfast that she can drink on her way to work.

[jowrites]

Accidents can Happen - 13. Happiest man alive (written)

Main Masterlist Here.

Prev. Next.

Disclaimer: Jake and Sunghoon are aged up, both 25. Reader is 24. Heeseung is 26.

TW: Cursing, sexual themes, sex in general? more to be added...

When YN woke up the next day, her head was foggy and her stomach was aching. She knew she probably had to eat something and eat it fast. She looked to her side and saw Jake still soundly asleep, his arm draped over her waist and she didn’t want to disturb him so she quietly and quickly snuck out of bed and made her way down the hall towards the kitchen. He had stocked up on all her favorite snacks here as well and she rolled her eyes and smiled to herself. How sweet he was.

She began to munch on a banana as she found some bread, avocados and all her cravings. She opened a can of corn and began to warm it up in a pan with some salt and pepper. She toasted some bread and cut up an avocado. When the corn was done and the avocado was neatly spread on the bread, she put some hot sauce and mayonnaise in the corn, with a dash of lemon, and to her surprise he even had cotija cheese. Perfect for her elote avocado toast. As she munched on her toast, she began to make breakfast fully for Jake.

Jake stirred in his sleep, feeling over to an empty spot beside him. He opened his eyes and he could  taste the bacon on his tongue. He checked the time and saw it was 10:24 am which he didn’t care for, he’s his own boss he can do work when he feels like. He needed to find YN first. He got up and made his way towards the smell, hearing the sizzling in the kitchen. YN was humming to herself as she stood with her back towards Jake and he just watched and stared in admiration. Once he snapped out of his daze, he went for it.

YN jumped slightly at the arms around her, coming up and caressing her belly, which was now growing bigger each day, and felt his chin on her shoulder. 

“How long have you been awake?” He asked.

“Not long, I had to seriously eat something, my stomach was hurting,” she began to rub her hands over his and he frowned.

“Are you feeling okay? You should sit down,” He told her trying to take her place by the stove.

“I’m fine, Jake,” she laughed. “I quickly ate some toast and I felt better. Thought I’d make us some breakfast though.”

“Oh, okay. That’s good,” he let out a sigh in relief.

“Go set the table, the bacon should be done soon and I already made some omelets,” she ordered and he nodded.

He quickly did as she told, getting some juice for her and a cup of coffee for him. He grabbed one of the smoothies as well to make sure she got all her nutrients for the day. She walked over with the plates of food and set them down and the two sat down with each other. She made omelets, bacon, toast and some fruit. There was a comfortable silence between them and Jake’s heart was bursting with fondness at how normal this felt. How right this felt.

“You didn’t have to do all this you know,” he said as he began to plate his food.

“You think I did this for you? I’m growing a human you know, most of this is for me,” She winked and he laughed.

“Ah, of course. The baby must get all her nutrients first,” he agreed.

“I wanted to do something nice while we talked,” she began to say, suddenly feeling shy and trying to hide the blush on her cheeks.

“Hm?” He encouraged her to continue as he began to eat.

“I agree,” she said.

“Agree?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Or like…accept. The past 3 months have really been the best time I’ve had with someone and I can sense your genuineness. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have feelings for you and…I want our baby to grow up in a loving home with loving parents too,” she said, rubbing her belly. “I didn’t quite have that and I would never want the same for my child.”

Jake leaned over and grabbed her hand, encouraging her to continue and she looked up and smiled.

“So yes, let’s try this and also I’ll move in with you,” She continued and Jake’s face lit up.

“Really? You’ll seriously move in?” He said in excitement.

“Mhm,” she nodded.

“Oh this is the best day of my life! Screw work, that can wait! We can do it today!” He got up and kissed her head jumping in excitement and she just laughed.

“You’re really strange, Jake Sim,” She said.

“I’m not strange, I’m just really happy. You’ve just made me the happiest man on this planet.”

[pacthesis]

nostalgic food

i’ll want to reference this in the future

gỏi cuốn (spring roll with chicken, egg, rice noodle, carrot, lettuce, avocado)

peanut sauce is just peanut butter+water, hoisin+sriracha sauce, and a tiny bit of sesame oil (tastes good with almost anything imo)

yellow curry

rice noodle with chicken, potatoes, yams, onions, carrots in a creamy coconut milk and yellow curry paste broth

lemon juice and salt mix with garlic chili for dipping

bò kho (vietnamese beef stew)

kho is a cooking technique where a protein is braised in a mixture of fish sauce, sugar, and water or coconut juice to make a salty/savory result

bread dips in stew beef/potatoes dip in lime juice/salt/pepper mix

cucumber slices to offset the salty

xá xíu (cantonese style bbq pork)

the seasoning mix is made of sugar, powdered soy sauce, onion and garlic powder, and spices

the pink color very much freaked out middle schoolers at lunch

cơm tấm (broken rice, grilled pork, egg, pickled carrots/daikon with scallions/oil garnish and fish sauce)

bún bò huế (thick round rice noodle with beef soup)

more "fun" than phở imo

bún bò broth: spicy salty flavor (lemongrass, spicy chili, fermented shrimp paste, fish sauce)

phở broth: earthy sweet flavor (cinnamon, star anise, onion, ginger, garlic, herbs)

bánh mì (baguette sandwich with chả lụa (pork sausage), xá xíu (cantonese style bbq pork) coriander leaf (cilantro), cucumber, pickled carrots, and pickled daikon combined with pâté and buttery mayonnaise)

salmon instead of nem nướng̣ (viet grilled pork) with bánh hỏi (rice vermicelli)

feat nori (dried edible seaweed)

wrapped with lettuce and dipped in nước mắm (fish sauce)

bánh cuốn (rice noodle rolls filled with ground meat, wood ear mushrooms, onions)

topped with chả lụa (pork sausage) and fried red onions and nước mắm (fermented salted fish sauce)

a fav of grandpa's

pizza man mispronounces it as "bun goo" which makes my mom giggle cause the way he says goo sounds like penis

bánh tét (glutinous rice rolled in a banana leaf into a thick, log-like cylindrical shape, with a mung bean and pork filling)

bánh rán (deep fried sesame ball filled with mung bean)

bánh da lợn "pig skin cake" (tapioca starch, rice flour, mung bean, taro, coconut milk)

bánh bột chiên (fried taro rice cake, a fav of pizza man)

phở (broth: earthy sweet flavor- cinnamon, star anise, onion, ginger, garlic, herbs)

ive called phở mid but while eating this i was like huh this is good actually then my dad says this time he simmered chicken bones for hours like he's supposed to instead of using canned broth

improvised bún thịt nướng (rice noodle bowl with chopped grilled pork, egg roll, veggies, crushed peanuts, fish sauce)

a way to deal with leftover noodles from gỏi cuốn

every time i eat this i think of the time me and pizza man were in new orleans and he asked if i wanted to eat at a viet place and i was surprised cause he's not really into a lot of viet food but anyway i got bún thịt nướng

thịt kho (pork with eggs braised in sticky savory caramel of sugar, fish sauce, coconut water)

i have distinct flashbacks of being in the middle school cafeteria with my thịt kho and kids around me going "what is that??", "ewwww" lol

cháo (rice porridge with chicken or a white meat fish- often served with crunchy cabbage salad)

my dad likes it with youtiao (chinese donuts)

being sick means eating this! but we also eat it a lot when we’re not sick!

when my mom was young she would say yes to any dude that asked her out and order an obscene amount of food/the most expensive things on the menu and never hear from them again but my dad took her to a cháo place cause that was his favorite but apparently for cheapskates

he proposed two weeks later and she said yes

my mom is such a menace i wanna be just like her

[eglectic]

December 15 — A Lot to Take In

Current weight: ?

I did come home yesterday and weighed myself in the evening, but I like to use my morning weight until I get to my target. Then I’ll focus on maintain my desired weight with a +/- 5lb range, even with clothes on and during the day.

Thursday, December 15:

Breakfast — Large iced Coffee with coconut milk, chickpea salad, m&m cookie

Lunch — 3 desserts, RX bar, iced coffee with coconut milk

1 Twix ice cream bar, 2 RX bars

Dinner — Pan grilled veggies with shrimp and avocado (my usual), 1 RX bar

Sheesh, I felt like I ate sooooo much yesterday, but I guess now that I look at it it’s not too bad. It’s just a lot for me, and I definitely overate, but overall a couple days off protocol isn’t a big obstacle to my desired results.

I want to look at a couple models that lead me to overeat. During our time together, my friend said the words “you’re making me feel like a fatass” because I continuously made choices in alignment with my protocol, while she ate how she wanted to. So let’s use that neutral circumstance and see what thoughts I had and how that created my feelings actions and results.

Reminder: c — circumstance, t — thought, f — feeling, a — action, r — result

C: friend says, “you’re making me feel like a fat ass”

T: I’m hurting my friend

F: guilty

A: order cookies at Starbucks and Panera, eat entire bag of salted macadamia nuts, eat 4 RX bars, eat desserts earlier than planned, buy Twix ice cream bar and eat it, not allow urges to eat

R: Lose weight slower, possibly get a pimple later, I hurt myself

Another model I want to observe is about the thought I had once I started overeating. The first time this happened was when I ate all those macadamia nuts. That becomes a neutral circumstance.

C: Ate more than 1 handful of salted macadamia nuts

T: Oh god the floodgates are open now

F: Terror

A: order cookies with my coffee, buy & eat twix ice cream bar, buy & eat RX bars, not allow urges

R: I create mental drama around an action I took, I take longer to reach my goal

In both of these instances, it was my thoughts that created my results. My friend saying words is neutral. Me eating more than 1 handful of macadamia nuts is neutral. My thoughts about these facts were the things that lead me to further overeat. So I’m going to write an intentional model for what my friend said. Brooke (the leader of my life coach program) says that in order to reach our goals, especially with food, we have to be willing to disappoint people. Sometimes people offer us food as a way to bond with us, but we have to put our goals first. Furthermore, we don’t make people feel disappointed. Their thoughts make them feel disappointed. We can only ever be a neutral circumstance in someone else’s model. So!

C: my friend says, “you’re making me feel like a fat ass”

T: her thoughts create her feelings

F: secure

A: continue eating according to my protocol, not overeat, allow feelings of guilt or discomfort

R: I reach my goals faster, I take responsibility for my own thoughts, feelings, actions, and results; I allow my friend to feel what she’s feeling and show up as my authentic self

C: I ate more than 1 handful of salted macadamia nuts

T: Time to pay more attention to what I’m thinking and feeling

F: Curious

A: Allow feelings of fear, discomfort, guilt, shame and whatever else might come up as I go about my day, allow urges to eat more

R: I increase my capacity for discomfort, I stay committed to my goal

I’ll write more in tonight’s post, but this morning I only weighed 192.5, so I didn’t gain any weight during this trip anyway. Plus, I was hungry after breakfast already! Ultimately, this was a fantastic learning experience. I will continue running into pressure from other people to eat off protocol, I will continue to get urges and have uncomfortable emotions come up. This is all great training and practice for being the new me that I want to be. Future me will think nothing of someone commenting about my dietary choices, because she’s so secure and has been eating this way for a long time.

[bkdotblog]

"Not a Yacht of Fun," S3 E9

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Season 3 Episode 9 Recap

My Title:  "Champagne Problem"

My rating: 3 out of 10 years in prison (too much Jen)

Support for Lisa Barlow: Very strong

<><><>

We open in the restroom of Jen Shah's suburban mini-manse. She is putting in her contacts — having somehow already applied huge, downy fake lashes — and flashing back to the afternoon of her arrest at Beauty Lab and Laser.

In a narration, Shah explains how she began taking antidepressants after her father's death. Then she got to a good place... until her indictment for her part in a grand theft elder plot. Now she's depressed again :( Jen is living and breathing proof that money can buy happiness, no matter the cost. I love that for her and for us!

I think Matt Rogers said it best on la Las Culturistas podcastica: Jen's storyline has lost all of its water since her plea changed from "I'm innocent and wearing a little hat" to "I'm guilty but available for more reality work." (News broke this week that Jenné signed with CGEM Talent, signaling her exasperating intent to continue her entertainment career.) Whatever. Next!

Oh god. This season's triumvirate of villains — Heather Gay, Bad Angie, "Danna" — arrive to a brunch. And I mean literally, because when Heather and Danna enter the restaurant, everybody's food is already there! There's a club sandwich with fries that I really want to eat, a roll, some avocado halves...

The ladies are discussing the upcoming girls trip to San Diego, which has excluded Danna (for talking behind Jen's back) and Bad Angie (for being rude and insane generally). By commiserating with Danna, Heather is aligning herself squarely against Jen. She is now in conflict with every other housewife on the show, excluding Meredith. Good work, Hedda!

Not loving this faction!

We're back at the Shah rental. Meredith arrives in full traffic cone drag:

Jen explains that she's celebrating Ramadan by embracing peace. [BK's Take, earnest: One of my favorite things about RHOSLC is religion as a fortifying theme, like money in Beverly Hills or lineage in NY. Love to see how that refracts through the UNIQUE* prism of each Housewife.] Meredith takes this opportunity to see if she will embrace Danna on their San Diego girls trip. Jen begrudgingly agrees, sipping her tea.

*stream Renaissance!

Meanwhile, the other ladies are talking about how Jen is kind of a bitch. The conversation turns to the trip and Heather starts to tear up. "This trip, I feel like nobody actually wants me there?" she says. Then there is a brief and tasteful montage recapping her existing arguments, as if to say, yup! Let's see how this goes.

Also because I was rude about Meredith's fit earlier I will say that I loved the whole look when the coat was off, from head to fingernail to probably toe. My relationship to Meredith is tenuous but I have no choice in the end but to support authentic Midwestern representation!

(Here she is accepting the role of CEO of Fun for their San Diego trip.)

Housewives packing montage! I love this stuff. Lisa playfully suggests "running down to the Louis Vuitton store" to get more luggage. Seth Marks shows his beloved wife a pair of earrings and says "Lisa Barlow's not the richest anymore" or something. OK? Whitney is stuffing her brand new clothes into brand new luggage. "What do you think you'll get out of this trip?" Her husband asks. "A migraine," she deadpans.

Airport arrivals! Jen wearing a huge fur and looking chic, Good Angie wearing some god awful Cookie Monster looking sweatset, Lisa and Whitney looking appropriately glam lite. Danna arrives but weirdly doesn't say hi to anyone, standing off to the side until one of her friends shows up.

BK's Take: Weird thing for an adult to do!

Danna also reveals this is the first girl's trip she has ever been on.

They arrive to the house -- the AirBnb of it all -- only to find that it is actually kind of gorgeous. "A little Santorini," Lisa says. Jen is becoming peeved with Good Angie, who is showing everybody around the house that she booked. Whitney expresses confusion at who is "hosting" the trip. (Why?)

And now we have my third favorite kind of social situation in any Housewives ep, behind Explosive Restaurant Dinner (#2) and Explosive Charity Event (#1): House bedroom selection. For the first time in human history, there are enough bedrooms of quality for all guests to be comfortably situated. However, this is not good enough: Jen Shah bristles that she isn't in the master bedroom.

Whitney points out that Jen has been situated in the biggest bedroom in the last two of their trips, and opines that she should have it again, because, you know, her next bedroom could be:

BK's Take: It's not generous of her, but Good Angie has the right to the biggest bedroom, as she hooked up the house.

Good Angie tries to ignore Jen, but it doesn't work: Jen pours a glass of champagne on her in front of all of the other women right before the commercial break.

The ladies all react with stunned silence. In a confessional, Heather likens Good Angie to Sissy Spacek in Carrie:

Jen, ever the sociopath, now insists that the champagne thing was a fun JOKE, she was just JOKING, duh, why is everyone so SERIOUS?? She doubles down by asking Angie to pour champagne on HER head, and when Angie declines, very miffed, Jen pours it on her self!

EVEN CRAZIER is how everybody else reacts: With utter nothingness. In confessionals, Whitney objects; Heather Gay says it was funny; Meredith weirdly also suggests that she found it funny and not over the line?. But none actually say anything. In the aftermath, Lisa expresses regret for not calling out the behavior in the moment. But is escalation a good idea at all when Jen is feeling insecure?

Privately, to Lisa, Angie discloses what I'm sure will become this episode's banner accusation: That she not only hosted Coach Shah's birthday party on Jen's behalf but she also paid $15,000 for it.

She itemizes the costs: Dance floor $1500, clean up $500, appetizers $3000...

Angie says: "I could have bought my daughter a horse with that money," she says, "and you know what, I did do that!" And we get this image:

BK's Take: A little much, I think we get it. no need to bring Elektra into this!

Meredith says to Jen: "I honestly don't think [Angie's] really angry,"

Angie says to Lisa: "I'm so mad right now," and she's crying.

A chyron reminds us that this is still Day 1 of the trip.

Danna visits Heather in the casita. Heather says that she gets why Jen did the champagne thing -- she wanted Angie to shut up! Danna is like, sure, but there are other ways. Heather secretly says that she's happy for all of this drama because it's deflecting from her seven ongoing feuds.

Then, shockingly, Jen walks in!!

Jen is still on her "girls just wanna have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!" behavior, but says she'll talk to Danna later and exits. Hedda gives Danna actually good advice: Let's avoid incensing the hostess for now. Danna doesn't understand this, which bodes well.

The ladies gather in the massive kitchen, wearing their yachtiest garments. Some ladies cluster around Angie and others cluster around Jen. "The tension is rill," Whitney says. Angie reveals that she called her husband and drew a pretty thick red line between Jen conning elderly people out of money and withdrawing $15,000 from the Party Bank of Angie.

Tensions boil over in the sprinter van, with Angie wasting no time before lobbing the party stuff at Jen. Jen hits back with myriad defenses: First that she DID pay her back, second that actually she gave her a $5000 necklace, and lastly that friends don't invoice friends after hosting friend's husband's birthday party. All of the other ladies mutely watch, whipping their heads back and forth like they're watching tennis.

Angie 15, Jen Love.

On to the yacht. "A yacht is just a sprinter van on open water," Heather sagely observes.

WOW WOW WOW. THE NAME OF THE BOAT IS CHAMPAGNE!!!!

CHAMPAGNE!!!

Champagne.

Allah is good AND funny!

The episode ends shortly thereafter, but not before Jen begins to spin her wheels about Angie. As she has pointed out in every single episode this season, this is a very fragile time for her. Meredith is watching her like she's watching a building collapse on TV.

Jen says, to no one or to everyone in particular, "You know what? Fuck you."

BK's Take, retrospective: ONLY because Jen brought it up on the sprinter. In the very first episode of the entire series, we see Jen showing a Shah-mazing party for Meredith Marks' birthday that was actually just fine. But in the first season reunion, we find out that the party was supposed to honor both Meredith and Lisa, who's birthdays are close; the party in question was held ON Lisa's birthday proper, not Meredith's which was the next day; Both are Sagittarius queens; Lisa received a MUCH smaller cake and a non-televised celebration; Lisa gracefully didn't turn this into the storyline it could have been. That's called class — heard of it, Jennifer? — and it's the one thing you cannot buy.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! —BK

<><><>

Gay Imagery

She may be this season's villain, but we cannot deny that she is Heather Gay.

This is her ordering the omakase drink option from the yacht waitress:

And of course, her dropping her candy-colored luggage down the escalator at the airport:

See you next week!

[twentyminutemiso]

Below is pasted from notes on September 2022 Los Angeles trip:

Dish soap Big water Cleanser Wound wash Towel Cash More milk Toilet roll £7

Shirley’s ihg number 430953641

Extraordinary attourney wu - netflix Mr queen

Go pocha Jay jay gastropub Studio city Venice canals Halloween horror night universal

G eazy no limit 1975 and gods plan in shirleys car

Poopourri Botanical curtain Fluffy pink headgear Verbena handwash Goldfish tank

Prawn ceviche Oyster shot Eggy cream with cinnamon Amanda’s eyes are red and watering because someone’s chopping onions

Do you wanna see my garage A tiny pink set with a pink bar and pink glasses on it A cockroach with cowboy boots She hands me a pair of inline skates, do you know how to rollerskate?

Amanda’s eyes are still watering Bo makes angie and cesar a sandwich each and he makes me a sub with a banana and cheese and orange slices in it Angie has stomach cramps and doesnt want to come to goodwill

A tiny light blue grandma dress with doilies on it for amanda but it’s for children Phil collins playing in goodwill

Does bo want to get ice cream. Pumpkin pie flavor. Lemon flavour for amanda. We’re dropping off jade how long until we get there? 3 minutes 1 2 3 we’re not there yet. No you have to count to 60 three times. Where’s my road it’s the left or the right i forget. Two okay signs in the sunshine

Los alcos plaza Melrose avenue Go rollerskating at the beach with amanda

Ben and joyce at the korean restaurant. Ben’s english but he tells me he’s really thrown by an asian person with an english accent. He also met a french chinese person recently and that blew his mind too. Joyce is a pretty korean american with her hair dyed light brown. She swears kookily and calls you bitch in not a completely authentic way.

Velvet sofas. A pair of bears reading in bed.

A crack in the window in the shower ktown. Sunny yellow building roofs palm trees satellite dishes.

Cool burger place chinatown vinyl flooring hipsters in window lots of picture frames breakfast sandwich restaurant called amboys

Older guy purple hat check shirt camo pants dog boombox hanging in right hand playing street fame waking kinda hunched

John chamberlain and larry bell The first foam contorted bodies the other mirrored glass cubes “west coast minimalism”. A small foam like a conch shell.

Mika rottenbeeg. A tractor plows the ground close up thundering. Gelatine tubes candy coloured slicing oddly satisfying. Plop. Water steams off metal surface. Tubes slap slap slap slap poke poke. Salt salt. Rotating hexagons like a gear turning. hun mming like a didgeridoo back of the space shuttle. Mongolian throat singers. Pink candyfloss melts red on the metal like bloody goo. Red outfit on mongolian. Kind of like educational childrens videos

Ppl browsing a 2 dollar store

Interactive sculptures ponytail flicks and plants go up and down and LED light grows cress

An eighties powersuited woman with a blow dry opens doors through liminal colourblocked office rooms and a soap bubble quivers and dips

Ppl in boujie gallery understand the british water request

Mazda miama

You owe shirley twenty for the dinner

My phone number 6263713004

Art picks me from a dark creepy san marino street. Most expensive place in all of LA, you can’t get away from crime anywhere.

capital_a_la Thursday Sunset rooftop - say art’s name Sunday - boardwalk venice beach Friday South central

Everyone wants to be friends here

Aiyi hands me a persimmon while I’m zooming. I leave the desk. We eat jujubes, crisp and bright white inside, green skins. and a chilled avocado and the persimmon skinned and quartered. I was peeling it and she said i was being wasteful so she peels it instead. She gives me an apple from costco.

I’m so excited that ive driven myself to cvs i feel untouchable. Is this self actualisation

Steve Lacy plays again on Kiss on the way to Paru’s place.

Get to Paru’s place, bart simpson pinata. Books. Sitting on the tatami. Little pea chips, a rice cake with kiwis and blueberries and coconut. Peanuts, small bowls set down gently from a tray. Water (with ice!!!). Paru plays us two songs, ones a space vibe, beepy with guitars that their mentor put over the top. Their voice is really good. Making bao with clay. Drying from the lacquer. They laugh say it seems to be the dumb creative phase they’re currently going through.

Tora i

At the art show. Hard seltzer. Very cute bartender boy with braces. Gives me apologetic smiles every time I ask for something because they don’t have it. We see Jem inside with her friend, Austin, a Korean fashion design boy who works for Levi’s she’s met 2 days ago at Byredo where she works. They went swimming at his hotel pool and today they went to a Nike party and Austin was the only one not wearing Nike. Jason comes to meet us because he has a crush on Jem and it only takes him like 5 minutes to get there. 30 dollar pizzas and we eat it family style. A pappardelle with ragu and I love it. Austin flirts with me and i’m technically flirting back cos I keep smelling his wrist, until I get slightly uncomfortable and then I’m trying to angle my body towards Paru. He’s a little more drunk than everyone else and has a rich international boy aura.

We’re in Virgil village. Jason and Paru realise they’re barely two blocks away from each other. You see that duplex? I’m on the left one. We pass a taco place that’s just been trying to start up. Paru wants to see what’s up with Jason and Jem and he should text her if he has some thoughts and he says let us know if we’re going to her show on Sunday.

Guangchangwu and fantuan and soy milk in garvey park. Kiki doesn’t make noise. She’s a quiet baby. Shirley says rubbing Kiki’s belly.

LACA

22.50 ramen

Root beer cheese burger lemon wedge with my ice tea.

Go utah its crazy

Four storey high fountains in echo park. Man fishing and ellaella says it’s like putting down a community lot in the sims and the townies come. Woman unbuttoning shirt and puts hubbys hand onto her breast and she’s gripping his arm. Lotus flowers on the corner of the pond.

Things i read at heavy manners Sunday in the park with boys - jane mai - depressed schoolgirl comic. Drawings of objects for titles. Bartkira. Steps and colors in the outer sunset (sf)

Passing by the heavy petting woman

Cotton on jungle park jc penney forever 21 macy’s.  Fashion nova store

An angel called osh at the tattoo store.

Nina molloy paints a copper koi on a panoramic ghostly blue canvas in a sheer green square pond with copper lily pads. Tidawikney lek’s napping girl in on the sofa with creeping hands and flower prints on the sofa and real flowers and a tiny island in the sunset through the balcony door and palm trees because i’m in LA. Dominique fongs orange deep dea diver in swampy water with many limbs holding vines catching fish but is she a statue covered in life spearing some fish. Bambou gili ghostly diners with summer rolls duck dark space.

Peach and black tea kombucha in a millenial brewery venture

Aunty brings a handful of pineapple guavas. Talking in the kitchen about taiwan, not liking tourism but liking driving around america because of the freedom, doing 100 miles stretches at a time and feeling relieved to see a petrol station, visiting a friend in colorado, going to yellowstone with her friend, not finding a hotel, deciding to go camping instead

Boba photoshoots at the library, Mariah in the car, windy on venice beach. Peas and feathery leaves on the street trees. Polly pocket houses. Wearing my rolex and mina rolls down the window and does a cheesy british radio announcer voice. Doja. 70s cinema and cringe rubbish bin act.

The red lion tavern. Cigarette vending machine. The smiths to die by your side. Green box of american spirit menthols. Never seen straights

Owe felix 50 for the baseball tix

Coffee Water Butter Bread Oil Batteries

Mina making blueberry pancakes. Gecko on the tree stump.

On the tram ella says it feels like when they go to westworld, getting off its like entering scientologist hq. Tinkling and euphoric music like the sims. Cy twombly exhibtion. Greek god names scratched into paint and written with oil pastels with urgency. A carnivalesque painting by belgian charles ensor and a guy has a chode face. Kampoinge. Three children long shadows on a new york street turned 90 so their shadows are vertical. Watching a video of rye crawling in the garden in edmonton while im looking at art.

… Who sanctions this violent dismemberment- Reaps the barren, crusty smell of denial- Archaeological masks, drums, look clumsily On museum walls

Hung twisted awestruck Witness to this absurdity

Louis Draper Camera magazine july 1966

Ballroom neon lights at the urban outfitters in downtown. Car trunk table for dining in the pa ord parking lot.

Eames house. Fittonia? Purple leaves with green edging. Mina notices.

Traffic loud on the road by santa monica. Three helicopters and we look up at each one. Teenage boys ask mina for squad pics. Three angles a serious one and a silly one and squatting. Purple building lights coming back from the toilet. An apartment block like a covent garden soup.

Pier. Cheesy guitar players. Northern chinese family with camping chairs fishing off the end of the pier. One mad one with four rods. Lettering man bumping guangchangwu tunes. Rasping aero smith in rusty’s bar.

Smokey robinson then dangelo cruising. Picking up ella’s hoodie from LA apparel the most gta scene yet.

At Watts Towers whose construction materials include ten thousand sea shells. 99ft cos city hall was 100ft. Simon loved hearts. Sankofas as well. Four year old girl sundress in gaps between white chairs still sunny. Kouman kele west African dance company

Outside seven eleven getting white claw for our night out, two chinese bros scratching their scratchcard on the car bonnet.

Dodgers, walking from top deck to centrefield because they had to put the bags away. Felix and nadia. Luke had to run to theater rehearsal. Didnt get my hotdog. Steward with a colourful beaded necklace tells me i’m not shy.

One piece playing on the tv in the japanese restaurant we went to pee in when me and mina are walking from the bus we got from Night+Market, to Felix’s. Hello kitty lipbalm in family mart.

Mina photoshopping me and ella into a picture of the beach, ella giving opinion

At the huntington library exhibition olde english vibes and ella says i love it when the letter s is the f. Square japanese courtyard garden bonsais around the perimeter. Wooden hut. Wooden bridge over the creek slosh slosh moss rocks glimmering. So many different biomes we’ve enjoyed today ella says it looks like legend of zelda. Sitting down on concrete bench and ella bobs around taking different angles of the Japanese gardens and saying wtf.

Beautiful multicoloured tins of coffee trader joes.

Kylie can’t get you out of my head in the sunset.  I love you wittle turtle boy everybody goes slow. <3 theres holes in the los angeles life. Pizza and bagels and sleet. (Not that much grass) bonnie tyler. Cant fight this feeling while driving in the night.Tacos at the place near Luke’s. Later on, I find out from Mina that they are discussing how our date is going and Felix is looking at Luke on find my friends and laughing because Luke’s getting tacos next to their house (assuming they are alone)

Karen on kost fm extremely lovely and sentimental.

Sad on the Flyaway, tired but trying to keep my eyes open so i make the most of this place. Palm trees and cars cruising on the freeway next to me always cars and the flyaway is the fastest. Aircon blasting.

Piccadilly back to the ends.  Listen to clairo to heal the pain. The west london terraces are okay. Memories of car journeys and bar conversations swirling. Kind of beautiful to notice the place you live even if you’re sad.

Fawziyah posts a story about unrelaxing into city life. ‘Being present is the meeting point between holding on and letting go’

[insomniamamma]

🌻 If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your mentions, anonymous or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog 🌻

3 random J facts....

I was fascinated by biology when I was in high school. Particularly anatomy. This probably sounds gross and creepy but I LOVED dissections. I loved the precision of it, getting to see how things worked. Honestly, I took Advanced Placement biology because I wanted to dissect more things. I had one biology teacher who absolutely loved me and showed me how to preserve specimens in rubbing alcohol. The AP teacher not so much. She told me to my face that she thought I was going to end up being a serial killer. OK, why the fuck are you teaching and AP Biology class if people being interested in anatomy freaks you out?

2. I have a BFA in Illustration, which I have never been able to do a whole lot with.

3. Avocados are my favorite snack. I buy them whenever I can get them for under $1 each. A little salt and pepper and I just scoop that bad boy out with a spoon. When my son was just starting solid foods i'd split one with him. I think he enjoyed smearing it around more than eating it tbh.

[eatfortheweek]

Eat With Me week Five:

Today I want to talk a little bit about breakfast. There is such a history and so much hate around breakfast.

Backstory on breakfast; back in the old days and my grandparents would say, we eat a large breakfast because that got us through our hard days, breakfast is the most important meal. This may have been true, as most jobs were physical labor that was done all day so no time to cook up a lunch maybe just a sandwich.

Why is there hate around breakfast you might ask, while most young girls don't have the apatite, or the time to eat a full breakfast in the morning, and therefore I told they have an eating disorder, or are forced to eat food because there parents think that it's what's best.

I know that this happens in my family, I'm six feet tall and have a pretty fast metabolism so i have always been a very good eater, I need to eat breakfast or I dont last till lunch, my sister is the opposite, she's tall but doesn't like to eat in the morning at all, she prefers to bring snacks to school and then eat lunch. So I think we should stop saying that everyone has to eat breakfast to be smart and have a good day.

For those of you who do eat breakfast, there is a really quick recipe that I eat all the time.

Fry One egg to your liking, with salt and pepper, while you are cooking that toast a piece of bread to your liking, once the bread is complete then layer on mayo, and avocado if you have it. Then to top it off lay on your fried egg and enjoy.

[yetanotherfreakingfoodblog]

bright, zippy salad

When I'm working with a main dish that's really rich, all I ever want to put on the side is green salad covered in something so zingy it makes my mouth pucker a little. My partner loves to get a bargain on some of the less desirable meat cuts (london broil, tritip, etc) and then marinate + sous vide + sear them into something beautiful. When that happens, I like to make fresh bread (doesn't have to be amazing, focaccia or no-knead peasant bread will do just fine) and something like this salad.

The bright zippy salad that's really stuck with me is Alison Roman's "Celery Salad with Cilantro and Sesame" (from her book Nothing Fancy). I love how opinionated she is about her flavors. I don't always agree with them but I like that most of her recipes are bold. This one was no different, we raved about it for a while. I'd make it a little differently next time, so I'm writing it down, but let it be known I think the original recipe was excellent.

Start with the dressing:

1 tbsp fish sauce (I think soy sauce would work for a fully veg version)

3 tbsp rice wine vinegar (I don't usually keep rice wine vinegar around, so I think I did 1.5 tbsp rice vinegar and 1.5 tbsp white wine vinegar)

2 tablespoons fresh lime juice

salt & pepper

2 tablespoons avocado oil (recipe calls for canola, I really only keep avocado oil around for a neutral oil which I love)

1 tablespoon toasted sesame oil

Then the vegetables:

Celery - get a bunch of celery with leaves. Chop the stalks (recipe says 4 stalks, but I think you can use however much you've got) diagonally on the bias (put your knife at about 1:00, if the celery is at noon), and slice it pretty thin. I loved this shape.

Cut up the celery leaves (I usually toss the leaves but they were great in this)

1 bunch of cilantro, chopped (yes, use the whole bunch, this is something I love about Alison Roman. "What if a salad was just an assload of herbs" and then the Alyssa treatment, "yes and what if all those herbs were cilantro")

1 jalapeño, thinly sliced (I skipped this because I didn't have one but I do think it would be awesome)

6 scallions - slice them like the celery. (I didn't have scallions so I used perhaps 1/2 of a white onion sliced very thinly. It was great, and I feel like it would also be great with red onion or shallot)

2 tbsp toasted sesame seeds

The salad: toss the veggies together, then put as much dressing on as your heart feels is right.

The recipe calls for drizzling with olive oil at the end. I didn't feel that was necessary (I liked how zippy it ended up being and I thought the olive oil would mute it a bit) but maybe you would enjoy that!

I also think this salad would be very nice with other crunchy, thin-sliced vegetables in it: carrots, snap peas, radishes, cucumber (although my favorite way to eat cucumber is just: with a little red onion, black pepper, and white vinegar), sugar snap peas, or cabbage. Lemme hear your ideas! I love how much this recipe inspired me to riff on it, and I wish you many bright, zippy salads this year.

[tye-arriaga]

❀ Day 1 ❀

Welcome to Osaka

I got little to no rest during our flight and when we landed in Osaka, I felt like I could sleep for hours. We decided our first day here would purely be spent resting and getting to know the area.

We took a taxi from Osaka International Airport to our hotel, Conrad Osaka. Excitement and anticipation was swallowing me whole. The taxi driver was extremely welcoming to me and my friends. He gave us some information about the area and a few tips for our travels. After what I presume to be a bit over half an hour, we arrived at our hotel.

The hotel didn’t look too fancy from the outside but as soon as we walked in we were greeted by classy decor but yet modern architecture.

The hotel was rather hard to navigate through and by the time we had reached our room, we basically knew every other facility within the hotel.

The room was luxurious. With in room climate control and clean towels and bedding, we could not have asked for a better room.

After unpacking and taking a well deserved nap, me and Shiv decided to go for a walk while Melcam slept.

The streets of Japan are known for being extremely clean and Osaka is no exception. The entire walk was so peaceful and every breath I took was so clear.

After walking for a while, I decided we should go past 7-ELEVEN to pick up some food to keep in our hotel room. If you didn’t know, Japan is well-known for its phenomenal convenience store food and like many people, I’ve always wanted to experience that for myself.

As soon as we entered, I felt like a kid walking into a candy store. All the shelves were fully and neatly stocked with tons of perfectly packaged foods.

Naturally, Shiv went straight to the ice cream aisle in search of the world famous Godiva ice cream but my attention was on something else. For years I’d dreamed of trying some authentic Japanese rice balls, also known as Onigiri, and for the first time in my life, they were right in front of me. I picked up 3 salmon rice balls and 3 Nanko Ume, which is basically just salted plum. After fangirling over the onigiri for a good few minutes, I joined Shiv back in the ice cream aisle and can I just say, Osaka 7-ELEVEN Ice cream does not disappoint. I swear there was a flavour for literally everything. From curry ice cream to honeycomb and avocado sorbet, they well and truly have everything.

To say me and Shiv walked out with a few bags would be an understatement.

Overall, we spent ¥2,421 which is around $25 when converted to Australian dollar. Melcam messaged us that she had finally woken up so we decided to make our way back to the hotel.

By the time me and Shiv got back to the hotel, all three of us were absolutely starving. Though our hotel holds fancy dinners and expensive buffets, me and my friends were way too tired to dress up for such a high class event so the three of us agreed to try a small restaurant called 串まる (which roughly translates to ‘Skewered’). The restaurant is known for serving skewered meats and is located just across the Higobashi bridge, quite close to the 7-ELEVEN me and Shiv were at earlier.

We quickly freshened up before making our way to the restaurant.

The building was extremely small but very cosy. The older gentleman who owned the shop was lovely and gave us a seat on the second level, as Shiv requested. We ordered a small sashimi platter, two servings of mixed meat skewers and a fruit plate each for dessert.

The food was actually really good.

At first the servings looked small and I thought we were experiencing a daylight robbery but as we continued to eat, I realised that our order was plenty. We walked into our hotel 10 times less hungry than when we left.

After relaxing for a little while we decided to get some sleep because we had a lot planned for our second day here in Osaka.

[crepuscollo]

I was having such a bad day and I was feeling so rejected by all my friends and I honestly couldn’t find anything to do to cheer me up.

I finished everything that I had to study and I had nothing that I wanted to do at home. I asked so many friends to hang out but no one was free which is understandable because it’s a weekday but then I tried to make thursday plans which didn’t work out as well and apparently everyone is busy. No one can call either. Even my voice messages are apparently too much work to be listened to.

So, thing after thing just made the day worse. I wasn’t even craving any food. There was no food that I could eat to cheer me up; usually eating me up. And for once, instead of self isolating, I want to talk to someone, but I feel like there’s no one to talk to.

Anyway I decided to burry my feelings into some food, but I didn’t wanna order anything and pay money when I’m not actually craving it, so instead, I went to the kitchen to look for something to prepare and I ended up making fried chicken and fries for me and my brother.

When I went to give him his food I was seasoning his fries. I was putting salt and pepper and then I leaned down because I couldn’t see if anything was coming out of the seasoning bottles because the room was dark, and he said thank you so much and then he gave me a kiss on the cheek. It was just like this very featherlike light kiss but it made my entire day brighten up and it made my day so much better and it was exactly the little act of love and affection that I needed to make me feel better.

Even though I’m so mad at my brother recently and he’s not acting right I’m so thankful and grateful and I know that there are better days to come. I’ve really been having such a bad day and I’ve never felt so lonely or at least I haven’t felt that lonely in such a long time and I don’t even understand why all of my friends are being so neglectful and oh my God orange-f is making me so fucking mad lately and like she’s pissing me off so hard she’s being so annoying like I can’t stand her.

ive been sick all week and my todo list has been empty because the math guy didnt give homework. i dont miss ash anymore so ig thats a good thing that happened this week.

Right now my mum is on her way home bringing me avocado juice and I’m having dinner and I’m watching how to train your Dragon the movie for the first time and it’s honestly amazing. I’m gonna light a candle and I’m going to turn off the lights and try to have a better night and a better tomorrow even though I won’t be seeing any of my friends because fuck them.

I will try to do something on my own though I kind of wanna take myself to the avenues and just shop on my own I guess that could be fun. I’m kind of scared that I’d get raped tho💀💀.

Anyway give people small harmless kindhearted acts of affection like my brother did today because you have no idea how far that could go. don’t make it very repetitive so that it doesn’t get old but like don’t forget to put it in every now and then.

TL;DR: my brother made my bad day a good day by giving me a kiss on the cheek. so go give someone a hug or a kiss or tell them you love them, you never know who might need it desperately.

[cextra-loz]

My mom doesn't understand the the concept that if she doesn't allow me to eat from the family breakfast that means I have to cook my own meal earlier. My mom doesn't understand the the concept if she wants me to be more independent it means I get to choose what meals I can prepare at what time, not on her time and not what she wants me to eat, she's flabbergasted

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Making lemon-garlic and herb butter fish, corn on the cob, and Cobb salad with homemade dressing tonight with salmon and cod filets. We get a meat delivery that comes once a month and it always comes with six filets of salmon and cod but we go through 4 filets of fish per dinner so there are three fish dinner nights - salmon, cod, and Mixed TM. Tonight is Mixed.

Adding my recipe to the post for anyone who wants it but like. Fuck you if you want ingredient portions I guess, sorry, season everything to taste like an Italian grandmother. A pinch of this, and dash of that (a pinch is how much you can grab of the fleshiest part of your grandchild's cheek, a dash is how much you shake in while shouting to your daughter that she isn't eating enough and your son that he never visits anymore more while they both stand in the living room nibbling on cheese and drinking wine), maybe on occasion you simply add "more" which is what happens when you feed a spoonful to your beloved spouse and ask them what it needs and then you slam dunk in "more" of whatever you have already added and make them try it again until they beg for mercy by saying "mmm, perfetto, amore mio" and disappear into the back garden never to be seen again with a bottle of chianti and a salami.

What was I talking about?

Oh right. Fish, corn, and salad with homemade dressing. God I'm so sorry for this.

Lay fish on baking grid

Splash with lemon juice

Lay 2 butter pats per filet

Sprinkle basil, parsley, and tarragon, salt & pepper

Thinly slice half circle onions and lay over filets

Press garlic cloves and spread over filets

Drape bacon across filets

Bake at 425 for 25 min with two corn cobs in husks

Melt butter, mix in basil, rosemary, parsley, let cool to room temp. When thickened, mix in a dash of avocado oil and lemon juice and mix until whipped. Apply to peeled corn when cobs are just above room temp.

Hard boil two eggs, cool, peel, and slice in half long ways. Cut salad greens and green parts of sliced green onions, mix with shredded cheese, salt, pepper. Remove bacon from filets and break apart over salad. Add hardboiled eggs to salad. Mix a base of avocado oil, a splash of balsamic vinegar, a pinch of pressed garlic, the whites of the sliced green onions, and a scoop of apricot spread together for dressing. Add a couple drops of hot sauce of you're feeling adventurous.

Enjoy a tasty fish feast that will delight your taste buds as much as deciphering this recipe has surely made you want to stab me with the business end of your cooking knife.

[mymeloana]

one day, I'll look as good as jennie kim. she's only 2 inches taller than me, but is 5kg lighter, and that's at the highest estimate I can find for her weight. so I should aim for a couple of kgs under that at min.

just need to start eating avocado salad, stop eating salt, and start doing pilates, as all sources online say that's jennie's diet before her group has a comeback (I rlly hope the gym im joining offers a pilates class, bc I don't want to pay for a separate class somewhere else).

I think I'll start the jennie diet after I'm finished the momo diet

[salvia-fitness]

I meant to show you how I make chicken tacos!

All I recorded was this, which has to be done the night before.

Soak a cup of pinto beans in a pot overnight. This is the start that I forget to prepare before bed over and over. It reduces the time they have to cook and reduces the chance of flatulence associated with fiber. The beans will double in size, so make sure they have enough water. They’ll also take 2 hours to cook so give yourself plenty of time.

Tools:

1 cup dry measuring cup

1 large pot

Long stirring spoon (for large pot)

1 pan

Cereal bowl

Flat edge wood spoon (or spatula to move rice in pan)

Grill gloves or oven mitts

Small spoon

Clean kitchen scissors

Metal claw spoon (something to stir large pot)

Fork

Knife

Sieve

Chopping block and knife (if you’re traditional)

Ingredients:

1 cup pinto beans, soaked

1–2lbs chicken breasts (tip: you can have only one breast packaged for you cheaply at the meat counter, if one is available)

1 poblano pepper

2 boxes of chicken broth

Olive oil

1 cup white rice

Garlic in jar or fresh

Garlic salt or regular

Tortillas

Finely shredded cheese or queso fresco

Avocado

Here the ingredients list varies between my grandmothers and myself. If you want to be traditional, buy

Tomato paste can, 6oz (tiny)

Onion

If you want to live an easier life, buy

1 jar salsa

Both of my grandmothers make chicken tacos the same way. But, in order to save time, I have made it a little faster through two important steps. My secrets are a jar of chunky hot salsa and cutting the chicken into cubes.

Beans

Take your soaked pinto beans. Pour all of the liquid out with the matching pot lid blocking beans from falling into your sink, and pour the rest of the beans into the large pot. Fill it with water. Bring them to a boil and then bring the heat to low. Let them simmer on low for 2 hours. Stir with your stirring spoon occasionally. 5 minutes before the end, add salt.

2 hours later, drain your beans. Wash your large pot in the sink.

Rice takes a while to soak. Traditionally, you can use the stock created from cooking bone-in chicken, but honestly we’re using boneless breasts and they take the shortest amount of time of everything to cook in this recipe so I’ll tell you how to cook chicken in 10 minutes last.

Rice

If you’re a Mexican grandma, you are now chopping your onion and some garlic. My abuelita, who moved from Mexico when she was 35, has been making this once a week before and ever since, so she got lazy one time last year and just stuck the whole half onion in her rice pan unchopped. So, you do you. You can eat the onion like that, too.

Take 1 cup white rice and pour it into a cereal bowl. Fill with water. Cover with your hand, open slats in your fingers slightly, and pour the water back out without allowing rice to fall. Do this five times to allow the starch to leave the rice. We are not Asian and do not eat our rice sticky. This is a very important step that doesn’t seem very important and I’m side-eyeing you if you skip this one.

Take a pan. Put burner on medium. Pour in some olive oil, enough to lightly cover the bottom. Turn the pan this way and that, and then pour in the 1 cup of white rice. There will be some water that reacts and hisses very loudly upon hitting the hot oil. Don’t be afraid! The racket it makes is louder than its bite. If you want reassurance that you will never, ever get burned by this, stick on grill gloves.

Can I talk about grill gloves for a second guys? I don’t even own oven mitts because I can have fingers with these babies. Mine are heat resistant to up to 475° and they cost me ten bucks at Walmart. I can still feel the heat if I hold a hot pan for too long like a regular oven mitt so in the future I might invest in these 1472℉ Extreme Heat Resistant babies which I would actually use over a grill. Or, to weld hot metals, I guess. If you own them do tell how they have changed your life. Envy.

But anyway the rice is going to scream in pain at you and you just have to wait it out until they go to sleep.

Use your flat-edge or spatula to push the rice around. Add more olive oil if you’d like. The point is that we want to avoid the rice sticking too much to the floor and walls, but we’ve also gotta step back for a moment to let them actually have time to brown. And then right back in to make sure they don’t burn. That’s right, we’re frying our rice. It’s how all Mexican rice is made. Every time you get some of that orange, fluffy stuff it’s actually fried food. I never said we are the healthiest heritage. I’ve learned recently in another tumblr post that Indian rice is made by frying beforehand as well.

Don’t let it get completely brown. We’re just looking for a little bit of color, here and there. When a third of the rice no longer looks entirely white turn down the heat, take a spoonful of your jarred or chopped garlic and stick it in there. Add either a) your onion and a spoonful of tomato paste or b) half of the chunky hot salsa out of the jar with your little spoon. If you want really orange and spicy rice, use the whole jar.

You have 1 of the boxes of broth, right? Good! We’re using it for our rice. The general rule of thumb is to use two cups of liquid for every cup of rice you use, and we used one. So you can do the math. Pour it in. Don’t overflow the pan. Make red, delicious soup. Don’t forget to add salt or garlic salt. Stir it all up. Cook the pan-soup on extremely low for twenty minutes, stirring occasionally so that the rice doesn’t stick to the bottom. Add more broth if it looks too try for your tastes. When over time it looks like thick, fluffy rice, you know you’ve done your job right.

Also. I don’t know what Spanish rice is. This is Mexican rice. If your recipe calls for cumin or red bell peppers it is not this. Mexican rice is very simple, demure flavors, and I refuse to continue to let it be bastardized as Spanish. I do want to try Spanish paella because it’s made with saffron and saffron rice is tasty as hell.

Chicken

Wash some kitchen scissors. Put your breasts in the large pot and start cutting them into even sized cubes to cook. Or chop them up on the chocking block. Thoroughly wash your hands and the scissors/other materials in the sink, then fill the pot of chicken with only 1 box of chicken broth. You want enough to cover all of the chicken up. If the chicken starts to float and uncovers itself, you need more water, which is also acceptable in place of broth. Bring it to a boil.

A Mexican grandma will cut up half of the onion and some garlic cloves and salt and throw it in the pot with the chicken. Instead, I chop up the poblano pepper and toss it in to cook. If you saved some of the salsa you can throw it in too.

Once it hit a roiling boil, turn the burner down to medium, stir with the metal claw spoon while cooking on medium for ten minutes. Make sure the chicken is done by checking the largest pieces internally with the fork and knife. If your medium is not as hot as my medium, turn it up but never leave the chicken unattended in case it boils up and over the pot. A pretty nasty white film will develop on top. It’s healthy, but I take it out when I pour the chicken into the sieve after it’s done cooking. If you’re a Mexican grandma, you take two clean forks or your fingers and start tearing the chicken into shreds. If you’re lazy, like me, the chicken is hot and the cubes are small enough to eat on their own.

Transfer the chicken back to the large pot. Transfer the rice and pan contents into the pot also. Hell, if you feel like it, put the cooked pinto beans in there. Or keep them separate, in their own Tupperware. You made 1 or 2lbs of chicken, plus like four cups of other ingredients.

If you have a cast iron pan, you can heat it up on high heat and stick some corn tortillas on it. How you prepare your tortillas, and what kind, is up to you. Hard shell! Flour! Fried corn tortillas! Tostadas! In the microwave separated by paper towels for 20 seconds!

Check to see that all of your burners are off. Enjoy with cheese and avocado slices. Perhaps with Dole orange peach mango juice, my abuelita’s favorite.

Good luck, have fun, Godspeed, and break a leg!

sadly avocado-less