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mira !!! :]
#isat#in stars and time#isat mirabelle#isat spoilers#<- due to act 3 optional content !#the img might be being chewed due to weird canvas size oops ah well#one of these miras is not like the other#one of these miras doesnt belong ASFASFSDAFA#a majority of these are based on things mentioned / that happen in the house cuz i thought itd be fun to draw :D#so like the wilting plant is from gardening room dialogue#the poster with ppl holding hands and sparkly eyes is (i think??) from some SAPSAPSAAP dialogue in one of the first rooms#i tried looking around ISAT to see if it's also in there too but couldnt find it so uh correct me if im wrong if thats NOT an exclusive LOL#side note the 2 in the poster are some old nuz ocs isatified ASDFASFA#funnily enough tho they are from 2 different games if they actually ever met they would hate each others guts i think. hmm...#however both are also the most qualified to help with promotional stuff so theres that ASDFAFA#mira looking at her bonding proposals is sorta on the tin but#the fact that she has like right next to her while she sleeps in her dresser makes me :(#cuz to me it potrays how much theyve been weighing over her cuz of how close shes been keeping them with her vs putting them on a bookshelf#or something idk if that makes sense i dont have proper words atm#but uhhh moving on chalkboard is from one of the optional events#which i think is! important!!! i dont think ive seen many ppl talk about it but!! yeah!#however i too do not have words on it atm but!!! yeah!!!! moving on for now!#the 'mira' that is really just the change god is ofc from the change god event :]#aaand ofc the iconic finish from mira towards the king#and then some misc miras with swords for funsies tbh ASFAFA#but yeah! i like mira a lot actually but as with many things i do not currently have many words to properly articulate *why*#all i know in my heart of hearts is that she is near and dear and special to me personally#one day. one day i will be able to gather my thoughts in a cohesive manner but that day. is not today!#anyway tag talk over :]
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Do you have anything you've been thinking on but just haven't made a post about it yet? Also I'm really enjoying your fic!
I have a few things but it's likely mostly headcanons that I consider somewhat disconnected from my analysis.
Curly's parents had him old, only child, died shortly after he graduated and got the pony express position. It was the last big thing they saw him do which is a reason he stayed for so long.
Doesn't admit how much their death affected him
Jimmy has a largish family. One of the cases of too many kids to keep tract of, parent never really noticed any of them nor their behaviors
Anya lived in a lot of houses growing up, regular supportive family that just struggled to support themselves.
Became a nurse largely to avoid their financial struggles but mostly because she felt too many people weren't being cared for and advocated for in the world properly
Swansea likes high top sneakers most. Likes how snug they fit and how they shield his ankles at work
Curly has a bit of a caffeine problem since he can’t sleep. Can occasionally be found wandering the ship at “night” when he had some too late or just couldn’t sleep.
Daisuke knows a little about a lot of things. Starts conversations with “did you know” a lot but please don’t ask him deeper questions
Curly has known Jimmy longer but has worked with Anya and Swansea longer, met them during his middle years, met Jimmy shortly before college.
Swansea rents a house, Daisuke’s family lives in a big nice apartment, Curly has a condo, Anya live in a small one bedroom apartment and Jimmy has a studio.
Curly's home is very disconcerting. It's too normal to a like uncanny degree.
Anya is ambidextrous but prefers her left.
Anya and Curly are both not native English speakers so occasionally they forget words and bond over the mutual mocking they get from the rest of the crew. Daisuke knows some Japanese but is still learning, never picked it up as a kid
Only Swansea and Daisuke know how to drive, Earth in my mind is very post capitalist so only older people and like the extremely wealthy can afford cars.
It's also like walkable just due to how many businesses are in your face. Probably strict living vs shopping districts
I have more but the way that I headcanon about them is like too long.
#im still trying to figure out voiceclaims like I think Curly is the most generic lost his accent his accent like swedish or eastern european#guy cause he was raised by old immigrants and anya never had a thick accent but she talks with the cadence of one shes like slavic and east#asian to me. Swansea at most is like irish or italian but just an old white guy and Jimmy just has a bit of olivish skin like hes just whit#i think people should make them all weirder too like I think Anya loves showing the fucked up diagrams and pictures from premed and everyon#has to nod and act super supportive and not horrified cause Anya thats a guy with his leg broken in seven places it is not facinating to th#rest of the crew but she loves it cause fyi to go to med school you have to pass pre-med she has a BA if not a BS in nursing or bio atleast#Swansea randomly talks about shoe politics and its like hes talking about regular politics. Curly doesn't sleep walk but he pauses at weird#times or places and will just stand leave and not tell anyone anything cause even he forgot#Jimmy is himself ig and Daisuke always has some media drama they are too old for to get invested in and teach them about youth slang Anya#kinda gets it#also i think people make Curly and Jimmy way too old? Like In my mind Curly is sorta his late 20s- early 30s like he's in the settling#part of his life hence the fear about settling here anya is likel mid 20s to 30 cause she at least finished college we dont have the years#of how long shes been working and maybe Jimmy is just a bit older and feels weird envy about missing that introspection Curly is having.#Daisuke is like 19-22 in my mind like hes an adult but a kid by their standards#like Curly was recruited and its much easier to get younger people plus getting someone young is a good investment like they either got him#right after school and its like all he's known and it scares him#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#ask#anon
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these two
#the secret saturdays#ben 10#zak saturday#ben tennyson#benzak#it doesnt have to be benzak but it could be#my art#that last one is based off of the thing that happens a lot with animal ppl where someone is like#(points at the most pregnant animal youve ever seen) do you know why shes gaining weight and acting weird :(#its something you kind of learn to pick up on
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Damn these twinks built completely identical huh, wonder what that’s about
#cw sh#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#isat spoilers#isat odile#isat isabeau#anyway I don’t think loop wanted to wear clothes but Bonnie mentioned how weird the fact they were ‘naked’#and like idk loop has the most fragile ego and cares so much about the child liking them that this needed to be fixed IMMEDIATELY#they would us the opportunity to request 2 inch heels to be taller than siffren (since sif has like 1 inch heels) and uh it’s been a while#their ass keeps like stumbling on rough terrain and REFUSES to acknowledge it or else they get sensitive#anyway unrelated odile clocks the loop siffren thing so fast but she’s never the one discovering information#other party members will accidentally prompt some information out of them and Odile like snaps her neck in the suitable direction to listen#also odile is helping sif either fully remove or swap out their bandages because god am I definitely normal about the act 5 glass dialogue#I thinks odile helps with sifs injuries :) I think she reminds him to like put stuff on his eye scar cause bitches forgetful
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As a show of good faith toward the remaining Decepticons at the beginning of a new, united Cybertron, newly appointed Senators Bumblebee and Soundwave allowed Shatter and Dropkick to enlist into Autobot City's Defense Team.
These two turned out to be... not the best choices.
The city may have fallen to Insurgent Decepticon occupation had it not been for young recruits Hot Rod and Arcee's accidental interception of Shatter's communication with the fugitive Starscream.
To replace the errant Defense Team members, Springer and Blurr were reassigned from Iacon to Autobot City in their stead.
#my art#tf reconstruction#transformers#bumblebee movie#tf shatter#tf dropkick#maccadam#transformers au#semi-introduction to my idea for antagonists in tf:r - specifically being movie villains slotted into my au#bc if the main crux of the main reconstruction story in autobot city is about hot rod and her rise to becoming rodimus prime#which comes from the First movie - why not loosely adapt other movies too??#ive got ideas for most of them already - kinda jumping back and forth between the modern day story and my pre-war ''downfall'' story#which gives my brain a break from thinking about one to think about another#anyway - i imagine the first ''episode'' of tf:r would be like. hot rod shows up in autobot city on her first day > meets the team#> gets assigned arcee as her partner > arcee hates it > they over hear shatter talking to someone they don't recognise because rod's nosey#> huh that's weird > they intercept it next time by accident > its a communication to starscream about the city's defenses#> they take it to ultra magnus but they break the pad on the way because they were arguing about it#> ''hot rod i know you're new here. and you're intrigued about the war and everything. but we shouldn't be suspicious of everyone wearing a#purple badge. give them a chance.'' > arcee drops it bc she doesn't wanna start trouble + ''magnus will handle it. he always does somehow.'#> rod does not drop it and makes blaster monitor shatter's messages for anything unusual > blaster indulges her bc he's endeared to her#> he does end up intercepting an encrypted message > rod immediately acts and chases after shatter and dropkick on an outside-city mission#> arcee goes after her to stop her from fucking up really bad > blaster unencrypts the message. it's a rendezvous point to start an invasio#> magnus kup blaster and perceptor all head out to help the two young'uns before they get in over their heads#> rod and arcee meet and fight starscream and barely make it out by the skin of the teeth thanks to the more experienced autobots arrival#> starscream shatter dropkick and whoever else is there are driven off#> day is saved - magnus commends rod's gut instincts but rod goes back to what magnus said about not trusting bots with purple badges#> she was right this time but its an exception not a rule and most other decepticons in the city want to live in peace#> magnus also commends that attitude and the team head back > starscream starts plotting his Next Big Plan#''post credits'' scene of magnus putting the request in for springer and blurr + robot dinosaur opening its eye in the dark👀👀#longwinded but ya thats like the Clearest idea for Specific Events so far other things are Stuff I Want To Happen
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I feel like he ws just straight up gonna tell her "no, I was the demon" and that's really funny
Also he's really wearing a lot of mascara today, gotta look his best while serving a lady I guess
#sebastian michaelis#sieglinde sullivan#kuroshitsuji#black butler#manga cap#no one ever talks about that scene where he yanks oscar out from between that lady's legs and she acts like she just... yeah definitely one#of the many weird what the fuck kshit moments#honestly there are so many i barely notice most of them
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every time someone calls kara “a golden retriever”, an actual golden retriever dies.
#supergirl#kara zor el#kara danvers#SICK OF IT!!!#there’s not ONE version of her who is a golden retriever#NOT ONE!!!#and i know most of the time it’s the show’s version who gets called that#but it’s not true for her too#like we must’ve watched different shows#because once the show moved to the cw#my girl was MEAN#like not all the time#and to people who deserved it#but def not a golden retriever#and she was acting quirky because cbs apparently don’t know how to write grown women#in s1 i mean#and a bit in s2 too i guess but it wasn’t as bad as s1#in later seasons#she was just a fun person to be around#and her family could trust her#and she was gentle with them#and caring#and kind etc#but that doesn’t mean she was acting like stupid dog and y’all are so weird
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Sword of Kaigen
standalone fantasy set in a rural mountain village at the edge of an empire that still holds traditional values, with families of powerful water/ice magic warriors
follows a powerful young heir who begins to question his beliefs about the empire when a new boy comes to his village from the city
and his mother, a housewife who has tried to forget her youth as a warrior and vigilante in the city since she moved back home to a loveless marriage
when there’s a violent attack on their village that they’re unprepared for, everything changes, and she has to embrace her old skills to protect her family and people
#The Sword of Kaigen#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#I’ve been meaning to read this for years and I finally got around to it! a really unique fantasy novel#I had always assumed this was ur average pre-industrial high fantasy and then was immediately hit with video games/tv in the first chapter#lmao. But overall (aside from the broader worldbuilding/politics) it is closer to the average ‘historical’ fantasy narrative -#so I can see why I got that impression#Some really compelling characters and interesting narrative structure that went in some unexpected directions.#It really focuses in on one village and how devastating a single battle in a war can be to their people - and how much work the recovery is#I feel like most sff is more concerned with a single person and/or the whole war so this felt unique. did also mean that the pacing was odd#- it's a slow start; then there’s a battle that must be hundreds of pages. The last section of the book feels a little too drawn out#and brings up random hanging plot elements that don’t really go anywhere. But I think overall this works for the story.#also one thing I didn’t love - cool complex interesting female character MC sure but also there’s weird moments like:#the first scene we see her is all the housewives comparing their attractiveness; she keeps referring to herself as an old woman (when she’s#and oh so meek and useless etc. And some of this feels like it’s part of the broader portrayal of the misogynist society#but some of it felt clunky or unintentional?#And then especially the end - when she and her shitty husband finally confront each other as equals and he apologises#she basically immediately forgives him and is like oh I was equally at fault because I am a meek woman who didn’t try either#like him realising he was wrong (and her realising he had a reason for being the way he was) doesn’t negate the fact that he treated her li#she acts like it was her fault for not trying too - when we have numerous examples of him berating her if she spoke up about anything?#like im glad he’s learning. but also that doesn’t mean she needs to suddenly forgive and love him wtf#that's the only real thing that annoyed me though.#also btw that 5yo seems kinda fucked up. are you guys gonna do anything about that
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probably the most constant thing of my life has been the social isolation and loneliness i experience
since i was a young child, i’ve always struggled to make and find friends, and often was left alone
for a long time, nothing could defeat my spirits and will to make friends, and even the loneliness wasn’t enough to make me stop
nowadays, it gets to me, the loneliness, and i often wonder if i’ll have all the friends i’ve deserved all along
#audhdrhys#lonelyrhys#i had a lot of fake friends growing up#and i was gullible a lot so people act one way and then another and i fell for it each time they did it#often times my “friends” were just there to use me as playmates and not real friends who cared about my boundaries and interests#and some of them didn’t consider me their friend and forgot about me the minute i left their daily lives#some ran away from me cuz i was weird#but most of the time i just remember being alone#i remember not knowing how to make friends#i remember being too scared to and asking my sister to make friends for me#which she would and they would always favor her#i was just the tag along nobody really wanted there#and that’s how it usually went#and i was homeschooled growing up and i didn’t go to many groups or anything like that so i was already isolated from society just from tha#but the loneliness through that all has stuck with me#i still don’t know how to make friends very well#i still wonder if everyone finds me offputting#and i still wonder if they’re faking being my friend and don’t actually care about me#even though i have some and am grateful for them#the loneliness stays#lonely#lonely childhood#childhood memories#childhood#friends#audhd experiences#audhd#audhd problems#audhd child
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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omg i forgot to tell you guys but i was fully dying last night roommate storytime
for context: my roommate, let’s call her cece, is the most cliche tiktok theatre kid girl you could ever imagine. we did random roommates so we don’t have that much in common; she likes to go out to clubs and frats and shit and i spent my night last night doing a puzzle. dichotomy of man
anyways, i was back in the room getting ready to gts and she comes BURSTING into the room and immediately starts stripping 😭😭 i’m like “hi cece….whatcha doing..” and she jumps a foot in the air bc she didn’t see me. keep in mind i am not doing anything secretive or hiding, like i’m just standing there.
she starts going on this crazy tangent abt how she’s a horrible person and is abt to do this horrible thing and i immediately clock that she is drunk off her ass 😭 she’s also just standing there in her bra and underwear and i am looking so hard at the ceiling bc wtf am i supposed to do in that situation
and idk if i misheard her but i swear she said to me “i’m going to fuck my best friends boyfriend” 😀🤨 she’s also changing into like a lacy babydoll??? like hello!!!!??
so i’m thinking : ok this girl has been on a self sabotaging streak recently (another story for another day) and she is in no position to be doing anything like that rn so i guess it’s my job to talk her out of doing this disastrous thing
so i say “cece don’t fuck your best friends boyfriend. that’s crazy.” and she goes “nononono not fucking, eye fucking. i eye fuck everyone when i’m drunk.” which i can confirm bc she was doing it to me at this exact moment, i am still staring at the ceiling
so i’m like ok fine that’s ur prerogative as long as ur not compromising urself do what u want. but she’s conscious enough to know that if she keeps eye fucking this guy her best friend is going to be paranoid abt it?? and like have a horrible night?? but she’s not gonna stop!!!??? whatever
and then this is where i start dying bc she starts comparing herself to ME 😭😭😭😭
she’s like “ugh molly you’re so cute and wholesome, like spending ur night with ur game group and ur puzzle ugh i want to be like youuuuu” full drunk girl whining and like spinning around and i straight up had to bite my fist
bc i was doing the aforementioned puzzle bc she had sexiled me abt 2 hrs before
but she’s in this like playboy cover lingerie set going BACK OUT to her friends room, full sprinting across our room bc she keeps forgetting shit, has not said a coherent sentence once, and is talking abt how i’m a cute little wholesome person and she wants to be like me. i feel like i’m tripping on something
and then this is the best part i’m quoting this verbatim
“and while i’m about to go do this HORRIBLE thing because i’m a HORRIBLE person YOUREEEE gonna be in here in the room probably writing some cute fun story which by the way you should probably post on AO3 bc if i ever figure out how to work AO3 i bet i’d find ur stuff and i bet it’s be so good but i’d never tell you i found ur stuff bc i wouldn’t know but i would know because you look like you’d be a good writer okay BYEEEEE!”
and then she slams the door and is gone until 3 am. this was in a span of abt 4 minutes
#i have never once told her i wrote fanfic#i told her i’m a writer#that’s it#so crazy that she extrapolated that far but if the shoe fits i guess#also she cracks me up bc she thinks she’s SO WEIRD#like those girls on tiktok who are like ‘guys say they want a weird girl until they find out i watch anime 🙊 and read AO3 😝😝’#she told me one night ‘i’m doing something so weird and crazy tn’#i say what#bc obviously i’m gonna ask she’s baiting me#and after coaxing it out of her for like 5 minutes she says#i’m downloading wattpad 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭#and i spongebob cartoon blink at her#bc open on my computer#is 7 tabs of my wips#i was making the last call and masterpiece master lists at that very moment#and not to say that i’m especially weird#like i know i’m a dork but it’s not like i’m off the charts weird#but like#cmon#it’s just funny to me#she also said she wrote percy jackson fanfic as a young girl acting like it was the most galling thing someone could do#at that point in time i was being way too young on the internet and balls deep into johnlock discourse on tumblr.com#she’s so silly#also i was supposed to be studying rn i spent 30 minutes typing this story out#i’m gonna fail my exam tmrw so i’m being hashtag avoidant#off my rocker
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now this, this is fascinating!
even before any kind of reveal, test tube is under the impression that a contestant's existence is dependent on the game they're in -- she doesn't think this season should exist, that it's a mistake, and likewise, she doesn't think these contestants should exist either, that they're a mistake too: a mistake as a by-product of the mistake that is inanimate insanity infinity ever occurring as a season. she doesn't even think that these new characters could've already existed, living their own lives, just recruited by salt and pepper... no, she thinks they were made. and...
...oh. damn.
yeah okay the twist wasn't even a twist, was it?
#melonposting#ii spoilers#ii 16 spoilers#also... there's a point made that all of the contestants here are zany and unserious like lightbulb#which is why she initially gets along with them. because in a lot of ways she's the same#you can imagine both they and lightbulb were made that way as contestants. that's the archetype they were made to full#but lightbulb has been able to develop past just that. she's more. she's not a flat character#maybe it has to do with the fact that she was actually able to compete in the competition? like these guys can't?#lightbulb becomes disillusioned with them because they're her at her most 1-dimensional state#though it's funny -- salt and pep seem to hate their competitors#every time they're generated they end up like this. zany and unserious and ultimately annoying#which suggests that they're not consciously crafting each character#i wonder if it has anything to do with the mephone who generates them? or if it's salt and pep's subconscious (possibly like mephone4)?#it's also fascinating how salt and pepper see the contestants as weird and below them. that the two of them are the only normal ones#the very act of creating them makes them feel superior........ something something.............................#also this is a side note but it's very funny and sad how lighty and tt can win by feeding off of pepper's insecurity#about salt not really liking or respecting her#augh!!!#her 'latching on' to salt...... makes me think of her ii1 elimination and then how salt proceeded to fixate on oj instead#leaving pepper to pine for her somewhat even when they reunited :(
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Honestly I think it would do us all well to go back to kinda cringy feminism again for a little bit idk cause I think maybe for some people the discourse somehow circled back around to supporting sexism just rebranded or whatever so its more aesthetic
#personal#instead of progressing the discourse into idk more inclusion of women of color and trans women#it went in the direction of like glorifying women being stupid and romanticizing beauty standarts#also weird centering of men all over again in feminism and in general for some reason#remember in the early 2010s when emma watson was like obliterated for that 'he for she' campaign#because it prioritized men in feminist discourse and then thats the exact direction where things went later on (and where it is currently)#people care more abt like 'haha this is my golden retriever bf he drinks respect women juice!' than about actual women speaking abt feminis#like being a feminist isnt about social change and women prioritizing each other its abt how dudes are hot when they do the bare minimum!#also have you noticed the rise in lesbophobia both in the sense of persecution of lesbians themselves#and of lesbians relationships and culture which other wlw are also part of (its giving lavender menace)#and also remember how we had the me too movement and then immediately after#everyone still fell for a smear campaing against a victim of domestic abuse?#anyway i would really love to get back to basics of like women should support each other!#and beauty standarts overwhelmingly negatively affect women and girls!#and we still need to incentivize girls to seek out intellectual pursuits especially in STEM and leadership roles!#because we continue to be underpresented in those fields and the only way to enact change is to bring our perspectives to those areas#instead of asking politely for guys to throw us a bone!#also stop acting like its cringe to openly and vocally center and prioritize women in every sphere of our lives possible!#and also maybe go back to actively trying to do that! and considering that a good thing!??#because we're the ones who should have our backs most of all?? idk idk#also where are the teeth??#why is everyone so afraid of being angry now???#its like some people circled back to being afraid of being mistaken for man-hating or something#just for pointing out common sense aspects of oppression without adding an asterisk about how men suffer too!#i thought we all knew there is no such thing as reverse sexism!!!#idk!!!#and this isnt me condoning choice feminism many women are evil and actively work against their own interests#or antagonize other women to make themselves feel important such as terfs etc#but idk its like everyone internalized that 'well women can suck too' so hard that its become like#'*most* women suck and we dont even have to keep trying to empathize and prioritize each other and our issues anymore'
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Started watching a "problem with greek myth retellings" video and it began with a blurb montage like "Condemned by the misogynist guys of history, this is the true girlboss feminist story of [A WOMAN]" and like. brb writing one of those about crown prince rudolf. It's ok he's like a misunderstood girlboss to me<3
#NASJASKSDFKDSLFDGJDFJ#joking. since those retellings seem to be often bad#fun fact i do have ideas for like a black teen comedy series with mary as the protagonist where the ending is like a harrowing twist#like you think it won't go that far but it does and the point is that she had historical agency and her own problems and personal journey#but in the end it spiralled catastrophically due to both crown prince rudolf related events and others#unfortunately writing one would draw the ire of both misogynist rudolf conspiracy theorists (how dare you suggest women have agency) AND a#certain type of feminist media critiquer person: (1) how dare you cover a topic like that flippantly 2) how dare you make rudolf anything#but an inhuman monster of a r*pist murderer gr**mer or whatever in the story#like idk man.. other male characters portrayed as romantic interests in mainstream media are toxic r*pists all the time. like omg i hate ho#'the great' handles p*ter and catherine because i was rooting for them to remain toxic and for catherine to kill him or whatever but then#she starts falling in love with him in s2 and everyone in tumblr is like omg hot sexy toxic romance. like cant we have ONE series where#straight romance doesnt inevitably become the overbearing focus?? i had wlw ships for that show.. they never pulled through...#anyway um yeah. the way i would portray rudolf in that is that mary sees him as this romantic hero which is emphasised in the way its shot#but he's constantly acting in kinda offputting and strange ways and is occasionally pretty pathetic and weird ASHDJFJF#^^ that's never been a deterrent to anyone ever. most rudolf biographers want to [redacted] him this has been proven by the way they write.#the only ones that dont are me (well not a real biographer but a rudolf enjoyer nonetheless) and brigitte hamann /hj#(she actually doesnt salivate over his appearance like frederick morton does xD only quotes 2 contemporary women commenting on it)
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So I’m 3 hours into episode 17 of campaign 3 and, yall, what the ACTUAL FUCK (spoilers below for C1, Vox Machina cartoon and C3)
For the record, when I went into C3 and saw that Laudna would’ve been in her 50s/60s if she was still alive, my immediate thought was “huh, so she probably died right around the time the De Rolo’s were killed”. Especially since I knew that C3 Percy was in his 60s, and his family was killed when he was about 17/18, so the timeline lined up. Of course, that was me lowballing it, but that was the general timeframe I had in my head.
And then she mentioned specifically that Delilah killed her, and that she was some random farm girl, so nowhere NEAR the castle when the Briarwoods took over. I had my suspicions that, okay, MAYBE Laudna died closer to the Briarwoods Arc in C1, but I wasn’t sure
And then Laudna was telling Orym HOW she died and when. The MOMENT she said that the Briarwoods invited her for dinner and gave her a change of clothes, it clicked. Because that’s how it was in the fucking cartoon. And obviously, S1 of the cartoon came out while C2 was still going strong, so obviously Laudna isn’t technically in the cartoon, but STILL. Just KNOWING that she was one of the victims—most likely the one that represented Vex bc of the dark hair…I can never look at that scene the same way again. It was already dark beforehand, don’t get me wrong, but there’s a much darker air to it KNOWING who one of those victims were.
And it makes so much more sense why she didn’t know that there were still living members of the De Rolo family, or that Whitestone was doing better after the Briarwoods were killed. She died, what, a few days before the city knew that Percy and Cassandra still lived.
Like, I knew that C1 and C3 were HEAVILY intertwined, but fuck. I knew that C3 was dark, but holy fuck. We’re not even at episode 20 yet, yall, what the FUCK.
#critical role#bells hells#heart to heartmoor#y’all what the fuck#keep in mind that I haven’t watched the cartoon in well over a year#and that one scene with the briarwoods talking to the victims before cutting to the suntree#that’s one of the few scenes that stuck out the most throughout that entire arc#and it just hits harder now#fuck#like just earlier that same episode we had Laudna and Fearne acting like children and Orym chasing rabbits#is the C3 just going to get worse?#is it going to get darker?#bc I know that characters are going to die later on and the plot gets…weird#but how much worse is it going to get?#if we’re already at this level before episode fucking 20?#also Delilah fucking briarwood#istg that bitch is the William Afton of Critical Role#she always comes back#that bitch just won’t stay fucking dead
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OK, the Underdark bit I've been most worried about for Rakha...
"Ah! A visitor! You're a welcome sight!"
Rakha is on guard immediately meeting this man. The only other such person she's met before - Wyll identified them as hobgoblins - was Ragzlin, one of the three leaders of the goblin camp aboveground. This fellow, though, smiles brightly at her and turns away from the large stack of books he has been examining, with no trace of hostility or malice in his manner.
"But," he goes on cheerfully, "let us observe the customs of the locals."
Narrator: The scholar's brow tenses. His voice spills into your skull, the spores connecting mind to mind.
Rakha squeezes her own eyes shut as her brain seems to vibrate with the man's voice. Blurg, proud member of the Society of Brilliance, at your service.
Then he flinches back and groans, rubbing his temple. "Hgn--nzzt. Or perhaps not. Your mind is far more complex than that of the fungi."
Rakha opens her eyes slowly. Society of Brilliance. She recognizes that name, too - the trader on the road to the creche mentioned working for them. The trader Rakha killed for being an ass to Lae'zel and threatening to steal a githyanki egg.
The man seems harmless, but she does not trust him. "Were you here when the duergar attacked?" she asks carefully.
Blurg smiles ruefully. "I observed the fight from a distance," he says. "Combat is not my field of expertise, but the myconids handled themselves well enough." He gestures around him. "My colleagues and I are working to improve conditions in the Underdark. This need not be such a dire, hostile place."
Rakha considers this, then relaxes slightly. Whatever this Society might be, Blurg does not grate on her the way Esther did; the beast urge remains at its low-level hum in the back of her mind.
Blurg, on the other hand, is looking at her with sincere interest. "It's curious to find a surface dweller here. What has brought you down so deep?"
(A/N: As usual - Rakha's primary resemblance to Hector is that her inclination is to be completely honest roughly 100% of the time. However, the only honest answer here goes straight to the tadpole; I think Rakha would have been more likely to talk about Moonrise Towers and their destination.
I know why they did it this way - bc they're setting up Omeluum's arrival - but it's always a bit annoying when the exact conversational tack I want to use isn't an option. Cos realistically it's already been established that telling a stranger who knows about such things that you have a tadpole is a recipe for being treated like a ticking time bomb. But we work with what we've got. XD )
"A mind flayer infected me with a tadpole," Rakha says with a slight shrug. She doubts this man will know anything about what that means, of course - and if he does, his reaction will probably be only fear. But there's no more point in sugarcoating the situation here than there has been anywhere else.
To her surprise, though, he perks up curiously. "Truly remarkable! But why come to the Underdark where they hold so much power?"
Rakha blinks. Curiosity is not the reaction she expected. And she can't help wondering if there are answers to be had here.
Explain the whole story.
Blurg listens with intent interest as Rakha, in quick clipped sentences, lays out the state of their adventure so far. He clicks his tongue thoughtfully when she's finished. "You were infected by an illithid tadpole? It's a miracle you're still intact. You must be worried sick - but have no fear! I have a friend who may be able to assist!"
Before she can ask him what she means by that, her head rings as the hobgoblin gives a shout through the connecting network of spores around them. Omeluum!
A pause - and then another ringing mental voice, this one lower and more resonant than Blurg's. I hope this is important, Blurg. My zurkhwood samples need constant attention.
"It is!" Blurg says excitedly, abandoning the mental communication and calling down the pathway behind him. "This adventurer has an illithid tadpole inside her head. But she hasn't turned!"
"No ceremorphosis?" says the deeper voice, now aloud as well. Rakha turns in time to see the new arrival--
"That's impossible," the mind flayer says placidly. "But intriguing. Are you looking to have it extracted?"
All of them go completely still, staring wide-eyed - for a moment too astonished to react.
Lae'zel finds her voice first, and her tone has gone ice-cold with trembling rage. "Ghaik!" she snaps. "Your head will make a fine trophy for my queen!"
"Please - hold," says the illithid; its tone has a muted urgency that might be a panicked shout in any other race. "I understand your rage against my kin. One of my brethren forced a tadpole into your eye - or ear, perhaps? But I assure you, I stand with the Society of Brilliance, not the colonies of my people."
Rakha barely hears him. Her heartbeat feels suddenly very loud in her ears, rage suddenly consuming everything else. Her vision pales out and the beast roars in her head. ENEMY. KILL.
She trembles with the urge to leap forward as she did back on the nautiloid, to hurl itself at this creature that is like those who captured her and destroy it, rip the tentacles from its head and shove a knife through that gaping maw of teeth beneath.
But--
She looks past Lae'zel's seething expression to Wyll behind her. He knows the hunting of monsters, but he has gone still with an expression of wary curiosity. He hears the same thing she does - there is something different about this illithid. Something strange, a mystery that tugs at the rational part of her mind.
And if she fights here, it might turn the myconids against them. And she does not wish them dead; she wants to bring them Nere's head and purchase another moment of peace.
"The myconids wouldn't appreciate us fighting here," she rasps out, her voice strained with the effort of resisting the blood urge. "I'll listen."
"Fool!" Lae'zel snarls. "They infest your head and invade your dreams, and still you would parley?"
Rakha ignores her. This isn't about the illithid, not really-- it's about the strangeness of this moment, and her need for answers, and her own inward struggle. It's another moment where the beast has wanted to kill and she has held it back, which is a sort of victory.
She half-expects Lae'zel to attack regardless, and hasn't quite decided whether to stop her. But Lae'zel remains still; her eyes are burning like coals with frustration... but she follows Rakha's lead and waits, a hand on her sword but leaving it undrawn.
The illithid seems to relax slightly. "I ask only that you refrain from violence," it says gravely. "I respect that your opinion of my kind may be... charged." It takes a slow, careful step forward. "If that settles matters for the time being - would you like a diagnosis? Open your mind to me. Let us see what lurks within?"
Rakha's jaw sets tightly at once. She has many invaders already in her head; she does not need another. Certainly not an illithid. "Never mind," she says curtly. "I'm done with mind flayers touching me."
The illithid tilts its head to the side. "I see," it says. It does not seem bothered by her attitude - but there is an odd air of regret in its monotone voice. "I will remain here... if you change your mind..."
#bjk plays bg3 durge#rakha the dark urge#whoo boy :P#i went around and around on this one#part of rakha really just wanted to rip omeluum up on sight#which is like... fine if that's what she needs to do - i'm trying not to be too precious about her killing npcs besides the companions#but tbh especially as she's starting to resist a bit more her giving in to the urge is often the least interesting option :P#and (as writer86 pointed out to me) her curiosity/needing the facts is one of the things that most works against the urge for her#and omeluum is decidedly weird enough to spark that#there was no way she was gonna let him poke around in her head tho :P#so i guess we get to find out if good ol' omelette shows up at the iron throne even if you didn't do his act 1 quest
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