#she’d KILL him a second time if he did tbh

[mycological-mariner]

wanna talk about your OCs I would love to hear about your OCs who are they 👀

Oh dear. Sorry I forgot I hadn’t posted this it was in my drafts lol Doing my historical OCs because, well. I wanna and I feel like if I delved into any of my fantasy/sci-fi ones we’d be here ages

Fred Norefleet.

Of all the naval and broadly maritime ocs I have conjured over the years, he’s the most pathetic. By god is he trying his best, but he has continuously come up short in everything he’s done. He tries so hard and his life until recently was just other folk deciding what he was gonna be for him. He’s silent unless spoken to, tends to miss the forest for the trees, stares at you really intently when you’re talking, wishes more than anything to disappear into the background and his first words were probably “I’m sorry.”

That being said, he’s deeply loyal and supports his sisters and uncle financially with his wages. He’s a prime navigator and very detail-oriented, a team player and quite sneaky when need be and might actually make a lieutenant if he didn’t have a spine made from celery. He’s also quite sensitive about his lack of any formal education, receiving the good chunk of it when he became a midshipman. Quite protective, especially after the wreck as a kid. Became a bit of a chronic helper and control freak after that. Absolutely shit at fighting but an excellent sailor. Once dug shot out of his own hip, made it into a coin and carved a ship on it to give to his Friend. He’s that kind of person. He’s trans.

Morwenna Norefleet.

If Fred’s first words were “I’m sorry” then Morrie’s were “WASSON MATE.” The older of the twins by a minute, she and Fred were stuck together like glue until he went away to sea. She taught herself to read by studying the Bible and writes regularly to her brother. As both of them swapped names and gender, they’re quite close. She wants to open her own public house and inn or at least buy one (all the papers in Fred’s name of course). She’s a total flirt, especially with the out of town tinners and any “foreign” sailors (upcountry), even though she’s never settled down what with the whole trans thing. Morwenna embroiders very intricate flowers and landscapes. She once tried to do a ship for her uncle and it was less of a ship than it was a box with sticks. When Fred wouldn’t speak after his shipwreck and time spent stranded when they were 11, she felt really hurt. Especially when he went away to sea the same year, she was really lonely and would often sit in the St Juliot’s graveyard and cry privately. Nowadays she’s alright! Constantly worrying about her brother but also, she’s looking after her other sisters and their children and her uncle and working in an inn and working in the pilchard cellar. Her hevva cakes are amazing. She’s the strongest person in this family, has a deeply rooted sense of self and has boundless self confidence without ever being arrogant. Community and family are what’s important to her most of all, she teaches what she knows of Cornish to her little family members and teaches them to write and read and once hit one unruly patron so hard he woke up crying.

Callum Tredwen.

A mess. Is actively being hunted down by his own brother, is an ex-navy lieutenant, a mutineer and now smuggler. He’s on a suicide mission. He’s a lesbian and has an extremely doomed and unspoken relationship with his first mate. He’s probably committed multiple war crimes, he took a 21-year old doctor hostage and kidnapped him. He ought to be dead but he just won’t die. He’s a dick. An asshole. He’s all the confidence of Morwenna but without any compassion for others (lies, he does, he just rarely acts on it), the anxieties of Fred without any of the perspective. He hits first to avoid ever being hit himself. He refuses to let himself be loved or taken care of. He’s gotten his dearest friends killed and his own self maimed. This man wants blood and he’s going to get it, whether it’s his own or someone else’s. It’s been years and his gender is still “eeeeh.” The 2nd messiest fucker.

[8myass]

.. her angel .. pairing. roseanne park/rosé x female reader genre. angst, fluff pov. second person (you, yours, yourself, etc.) synopsis. you’re a sick person, and you knew that, but when you met the love of your life, you started to change for the better. wc. 0.7k cw. serial killer!reader tw. cursing, mentions/brief descriptions of murder, mentions infidelity and breakup, reader loses mind, brief depiction of ‘snapping’ mentally, so much love tbh, kisses, pet names (‘baby’, ‘angel’) a/n. let’s pretend i’m not late with this birthday post 😻

You were mentally fucked up, a complete monster of a person. You had a whole life ahead of you, a future, why did you decide to take this route? It’s not like you weren’t smart, because you had street smarts and book smarts. It’s not like you were born into an unforgiving household, your family loved and cared for you in all the ways they could, you were their only child, after all, you were all they had. 

Maybe that’s what put pressure on you. Pressure to be perfect, pressure to fit into their mold of what perfection seemed to be like, what their perfect child looked like. You weren’t anywhere near who they wanted you to be, in your mind, and this might have caused you to lose it all.

It also could be the heartbreak you experienced only a year before you snapped. You were in love with this boy, let’s call him “Minhyuk”. You had every ounce of appreciation for this boy, loved everything about him and didn’t waste any time in proving it to him as soon as the two of you started dating. Dating, yes, you two dated. It didn’t last for long, because he was soon caught sleeping with another woman. That was that. You ended things and both of you moved on. At least, you thought you did? Subconsciously, you might’ve been holding onto that, but were you really?

I mean, the first person you did kill was that whore your ex-boyfriend cheated on you with. But, that couldn’t have had anything to do with it, right?

Murder. Murder. Murder.

The only thing you thought, day in and day out. You were depressed, and killing made you feel alive again. Killing everyone in your path. You did it without even trying. Someone pissed you off? Dead. Someone upset you? Dead. Someone bumped into you on the crowded sidewalk when they had nowhere else to go? Dead.

You were insane, you knew that much. But it was only when you met her that you finally wanted to be different, to be normal. 

You weren’t normal in the slightest, but she knew that. She loved you for that, she appreciated you for everything that you were. She saw your flaws, maybe not through a magnifying glass, but she saw them nonetheless. You were perfect in her eyes, the definition of perfection, for once in your life. She made you feel alive without causing pain, she made you drown out reality without shoving a knife through someone else’s head. She was your savior, she made you want to change.

“Would you love me if I changed?” you’d ask her, newly softened eyes staring up at her closed ones as your head rested between her legs, her warmth enveloping you.

“Changed, how?” she replied, not opening her eyes for even a second, gentle fingers running through your hair in a comforting manner, how she always did to allow you to let out a calmed sigh.

“I don’t know, what if I was just… different? Would you still love me?”

She finally looked down at you, eyes glossy with empathy, just like they always were. You could see the pain in them, everything she’s been through in her life was reflecting in her eyes, she has been burnt and her eyes were her third degree burns.

“I’ll love you forever, baby. No matter who you become, no matter who you are, no matter who you were, no matter what you’ve done, I will love you always.”

Once she would find out about what you’ve done, you would be so upset, scared she’d fear you. But she was just as accepting of you as she’d always been, her words always playing in your mind; “I will love you always”. That’s what constantly kept you going. Her love. That was your lifeline, she was your lifeline.

“I wanna kiss you until you make me forget how terrible of a person I am,” you slipped in a smile as you pulled away from her swollen lips, hours of kissing later and you’re still clung to her, lying on top of her on the bed you two share, fingers locked and tongues bickering delicately with oneselves.

“So kiss me until you forget, my angel,” she smiled in return, pulling you back down so your lips could relock in a passionate and loving kiss. She was your world, so for her, you’d be an angel.

[cancerian-woman]

For the ask game...

TVDU 2

Klonnie 15

Bonnie 7 and Lucy 8

TVDU: Bonnie: Twitches is one of my favorite movies growing up that's where it started. Bonnie embodies both of the twins. Camryn has this outgoing confident personality while Alex is stern and reserved. Both are determined through it all. I see all of this in Bonnie. She goes through a lot and still has this sense of light to the world, people and even magic or herself. There's so much fiery determination in her that allows Bonnie to persevere. Rebekah!TO: Seeing less of Rebekah in TO grew her up as a character. In TVD she and Klaus look petty for lingering around s4. I love that she doesn't yield with her emotions, and we see her fight back whether that be torturing Damon or fighting with her brothers. She was still bitchy in a mature sense that she'd only react if she felt threatened too that is. Which what another fave character of mine grows into (Brooke Davis & Hanna Marin). (Okay cause my next answer is long I’m going to leave this at 2.)

Klonnie: I have a longer answer for this one but I’ll keep it simple. If TVD wasn't filled with jealous and racist writers. I wished Klonnie’s relationship started late s2-s4. A slow burn enemies to lovers. Klaus is very arrogant but he isn’t stupid when it comes to strategy. His pride would’ve been hurt knowing a baby witch kicked his ass and almost killed him. Then saved his ass! Katherine and Isobel discussed Klaus taste in witches, tbh it would’ve been in character for Katherine to direct Klaus to Bonnie after Greta was killed. On the pretense that Elena would hate it. Katherine would take joy in that

In s3 after Jeremy’s cheating (should’ve been with Vicki) Bonnie would be reluctant to believe in Klaus advances. Klaus would be attentive to the little things people are missing with Bonnie. (Ex: he canonically mentions bringing Abby back for her after being abandoned again.) HOW did he notice that? Who told him. I’m dead ass serious WHO told him that?!😭 Pretty gowns and drawings wouldn’t be enough to keep Bonnie’s attention especially after heartbreak. Bonnie’s loyalty cannot be bought it needs to be earned that’s what she’d want. Klaus would’ve called out that Bonnie aligns herself with bad people all the time he isn’t any different. Bonnie would call out Klaus for ignoring his werewolf side.

S4 can keep expression!Bonnie but with Klaus making it know how he hates Shane? Or still offering his knowledge to magic. There’s more to say but I wish the writers listened to Joseph’s and Kat’s ideas. It would’ve been more compelling to see Klaus pull Bonnie onto his side. Bring in some seduction and a second chance at love. Bonnie’s just as desirable as her friends. Treat her like it. Period.

Bonnie 7: can’t remember the ep rn but s7 Bonnie tells Alaric she’d rather somewhere else making out with a good guy or not so good. Basically she doesn’t enjoy doing shit all the time. She wants to have fun! But survival comes first.

Lucy 8: bisexual or queer period. Since TVD never told us what Katherine did I assumed they fucked a couple of times💀

Thank you for the ask! Sorry this is wordy as hell! I’m a nerd and overthinker

Ask Games!

[artificialbreezy]

Relationships with the Steve and Robin

AN: hello, if you’d like more in depth on either of these, let me know bc i have so many ideas man

TW/CW- d/s dynamics, daddy kink if you squint, mommy kink, pet names, fluff, mentions of sex. uh if i’m missing any plz let me know

Robin:

Robin is such a sweetie and you can’t tell me other wise

She LOVES to ramble to you about her day

She REFUSES to go to bed without at least hearing your sweet voice say “I love you baby”

You bring her lunch for every shift she works at Family Video

Steve talked her into asking you out tbh

Robin didn’t believe him when he assured her you liked both boys AND girls

UNTIL you, Robin, Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, and Eddie were all hanging out one night, drinking and smoking

you ended up rambling on about how pretty you thought Robin was to Steve and Robin overheard

Robin came up to you the next day all smiles

“Hey Rob! Oh what’s got you all smiley?”

She’d just step closer to you and say “oh ya know, just “my god Steve. She kills me. Absolutely kills me. I just want to kiss her face and just do anything she tells me!”

You’d be a blushing mess and not looking at her

“Awe sweetheart, don’t be shy now.”

She’d step close and put her hand on your cheek and pull you close and she’d whisper “can I really kill you now? You have such pretty lips and I wanna know how soft they really are.”

you’d smile and kiss her so hungrily

NSFW

Robin is definitely a switch

LOVES being on top, even when she’s being subby

when she is subby and on top, it’s usually her grinding on your mouth OR you’re fucking into her with the strap ™️

dom!Robin? MAAAANNNN she’s good

brat tamer 100%

she’ll always take a calm approve no matter the situation

“Baby. I need you to take a second and think what you said.”

you’d huff and keep throwing your fit

“Angel, if you don’t watch your mouth you’re going over my knee.” in a very stern warning tone

sometimes it works, and other times you really can’t be stopped

which results in a default of 10 spanks AND edging you until you’re crying

her favorite way to get you REAL close?

starts with her mouth on your cunt

then works her way up to the strap, fucking you real slow

then she’d add a vibrator against your clit and pick up pace

once you’re crying and begging

“Mommy..oh my god.. please.. need it so so bad. i’ll be good i promise. please do anything you want. i’m sorry”

then maybe she’d let you cum

typically it lands you in sub space

which Robin is GREAT at getting you back down to earth

“hey baby, i need you to come back, yeah? can you come back to me? Miss you.”

or after the mumbling that you speak that she can’t understand, she’d get super soft and hold onto your hand, “y/n? come back to me, yeah, it’s Rob baby. Need ya back” with a soft kiss to your forehead

overall, Robin is the sweetest girlfriend

Steve:

Steve is clingy but not in a bad way ya know

mans been hurt, he just wants to be loved and needed

so when you come around, he’s SMITTEN

from the minute Robin introduced you to him during a shift at scoops he was determined to make you his

and he did. after you, Robin, and him were kidnapped by russians and drugged obviously

he kissed you real hard after you ended up out of the mall that day

and now, you guys are ALWAYS together

you even got a job with him and Robin at family video

the kids call you dad because Steve is definitely mom

he’s not HUGE into PDA around the kids but he’ll hold your hand or have you close at all times

but if you’re at a party? or with the older gang? MAAAAANNN he’s all over you (respectfully ofc)

LOTS of forehead kisses

and getting interrupted by the walkie

weekly movie nights

that the kids end up crashing once a month

Dustin no longer has shot gun privileges

NSFW

Steve is a hardcore Dom

i mean rarely ever sub

he needs control

he’s always had that control, i mean cmon he was King Steve

and oh my god he has rules for you too

his rules include

no cumming without permission

always refer to me as Sir or Daddy (unless with family or friends)

remember your manners

whenever you’re not sleeping over, call to say good night

communicate your feelings

his rules are quite simple so if you break them there are consequences

some of which are as followed

10 - 15 spanks, depending what rule you broke. it’ll be your ass or pussy

writing lines

time outs

edging

No cumming for a week (he saves this one when you’re REAL bratty)

remember movie nights?

oh yeah he definitely has brought home pornos to watch together

and sometimes they end in laughing

and other times your face is buried in a pillow and he’s fucking you stupid

man loves dirty talk

“fuck baby. you feel like heaven”

“keep squeezing me like that. i know you’re close.”

jesus i’m gonna get carried away

[swamp-spirit]

Dipping my toe into the MXTX tag again, and it reminded me that I wanted to share my experiences of having to read around 500 pages of various REALLY BAD cultivation novels (for work). SVSSS especially relies on knowledge of shitty cultivation webnovels.

To be clear, I have a lot of sympathy for (some) of these authors. Chinese webnovel writers are often under brutal time requirements (often around 1-3K a day, 7 days a week, fully edited and posted) for very little pay. They’re also under government requirements and corporate requirements to write something that’s pre-proven to sell. You have to get well established to ‘earn‘ the right to experiment, and that’s a 1/10000 lottery.

That said, there’s a lot of authors who write some amazing shit within those requirements (the people who write historical revenge rebirth stories for women knock it out of the fucking park 99% of the time tbh). So here are some of my horror stories from my months reading bad cultivation novels. (warnings for sexual assault mention)

There are three types of men in bad cultivation novels:           1. Simpering lackies who do everything the lead says and feel lucky to do it           2. Comically evil bullies, physically ugly, always attacking women or simpering lackies. The lead will horrifically murder them casually.           3. Comically evil bullies, but hot and high status. The lead will horrifically murder them OR humiliate them and destroy their meridians (and they will be disabled, worse then death!)

Speaking of disability, and, unfortunately, not confined to this genre, replacing a mentally disabled person is a REALLY common setup. Either the MC is disabled through evil machinations but cured via magic at the start, or the MC replaces a disabled person. Everyone will be shocked, amazed, and pleased that they have been ‘fixed’.

Things are even worse for women. Women are sweet and innocent (romantic interest or little sister figure. Or both), doting caretakers (romantic interest, mother figure, or both), cold ice-queens (to cast their pride aside and become a romantic interest), or evil, sexy seductresses (to be murdered. Or seduced). Of the three novels I read the most of           1. EVERY SINGLE WOMAN was introduced in the exact same way. The lead would accidentally see her naked, she would unjustly attempt to murder him, and then she’d realize the truth and decide marriage was the only solution to maintain her honor.           2. Every single woman who showed up had dudes attempting to sexually assault her, from romantic interest to random village girl. Every. One. This dude could not go five feet without witnessing a sex crime.           3. This one just forgot women existed? And honestly? Thank fuck.

Characters advance via video game logic. For example, in one novel, the character Became Neurotypical, immediately murdered some dudes, stole their cultivation items, sat down, and meditated. There was no internal description on what he did to meditate, his state of mind, his faith, or his growth as a person just LITERAL CHAPTERS of describing his cultivation levels going up. “HE BROKE THROUGH THE 3RD LEVEL NOW HE COULD DO THIS IT WAS AMAZING AND UNHEARD OF“ That’s the entire arc. Character gets items, meditates, numbers go up, goes and wins battles by killing everything in one punch. And not in a cool, genre deconstruction way. It works on a logic where the main character can’t do anything ‘uncool‘. He can never struggle, even for a second. One novel involved every enemy (usually human) being turned to ‘meat-paste‘ with a single punch

You know when you’re watching an anime that needed to fill out runtime, so it keeps cutting between the hero and the villain and then somebody in the crowd going “wait, is he going to use a soul punch“, “that’s impossible, somebody that young could never use a soul punch“ “wait, how could it be“ “damn, I underestimate him“ “It’s a soul punch!“ “A soul punch!“ Have you ever craved that experience in novels? Yeah. Me neither

MYSTERIOUS FUCKING CAVES. One of the main mechanics for a character to advance is being taken in by some spirit or trapped god or soul sealed in a sword, but the primary mechanic is ACCIDENTALLY STUMBLING ON MYSTERIOUS CAVES OF RARE ITEMS. Often found when falling into a ravine and landing on a mysterious ledge. To date, none of these caves had any explaination or plot. The character just found a cool cave, took the scrolls/ate the rare wine/soaked in the magic spring, leveled up, and left. In one of the novels, by the time I got a good chunk in, the main character had stumbled into THREE DIFFERENT MAGIC CAVES. To be fair, the third cave did also contain a skeleton which put him in contact with a sealed soul who took him in so like, that’s something.

[hammity-hammer]

okay hi ik i posted a thing like two months ago about baker!steve and hair dresser!eddie, and i started writing something about it and gave up BUT ! i have made something? idk if it's good and please roast me if it's not tbh, but !

here is my first work of fanfiction since i was like 12 years old😎

also! it's 1.4k words ! and just some intro fluff things :p

---

Steve had been working at the bakery for a few months, and eventually noticed that he seemed to be seeing the same eccentric looking metalhead every week. He’d brought him up briefly to Robin, who never seemed to work the same shift as him when the mysterious man came in, and she was convinced that he had to have some kind of crush on Steve. That however, was just ludicrous as they lived in Hawkins, Indiana, where even the most progressive people still couldn’t understand how queer people existed. It was crazy enough that he (with Robin’s help, of course) had realized he could be- bisexual? Was that the right word? He never could remember, but that didn’t matter much, he just knew that him liking both men and women, and being best friends with Robin, who liked exclusively women, was probably just about as lucky as he was going to get on the queer-front. He obviously had hoped that the strange man that only ever bought one oatmeal raisin cookie, and if he was early enough, a blueberry muffin, could be into him, but it was just too impractical. He’d keep going on his boring dates with pretty, perfect straight girls, and keep his wishful thinking to himself.

What he hadn’t anticipated was getting let down almost every single time the little bell on the door rang and it wasn’t oatmeal raisin man. He’d spent most Tuesdays like that, though, which was honestly kind of embarrassing. They’d interacted for maybe ten minutes max on the days that he got to see him, and he still was too shy to ask for his name. Obviously, oatmeal raisin man knew his name, because he had to wear a name tag over his apron, so every time, without fail, he would rest his forearms on the counter and let out a cheeky, “Crazy to see you here, Stevie!” And every time, Steve would try to sound like this wasn’t the best part of his day when he said, “I’m always here, it’s almost like this is my job.” He’d go straight to the display case that had cookies waiting to be grabbed, and pick out the best looking cookie he could. He would’ve set a cookie aside for the man, but he knew that if his boss saw him setting aside cookies for random customers, she’d probably get annoyed with him for “wasting food”.

On this particular Tuesday, though, it was getting pretty close to their closing time, and Steve hadn’t seen oatmeal raisin man all day. He tried not to get too sad though, because he and Robin had plans to stay in and watch movies tonight, and he definitely did not need her getting on his case about his little crush. He had about thirty minutes to kill before he had to start closing, so he was in the back cleaning off the table he’d been using to practice his cake decorating. He wasn’t allowed to actually frost any cakes yet, but his boss had let him use some of their less popular frosting colors to practice making flowers and writing words. He was in the middle of wiping off the table when the bell in the front rang, so he threw away the wipe and went to wash his hands.

“One second please, I’ll be right out!” He shouted, hoping whoever was in the front was able to hear him. He dried his hands and rushed out of the door, trying to look like he wasn’t too excited when the person he saw was exactly who he’d been waiting for all day.

“Stevie, I was worried I’d miss you today!” Oatmeal raisin man said while raising his hands up excitedly. He had the cutest grin on his face, and Steve felt his heart melt just a little bit. Had he really been waiting to see him all day? It was probably just him trying to be personable, he couldn’t possibly have been just as excited as Steve was to see him.

He took a second to look the other man over, noticing that his long hair was kept up in a bun today, with little curls hanging out to frame his face. Usually he’d wear his hair down, having at least one hand twirling a curl while he talked. He also didn’t seem to have as many rings on as usual, not that Steve had been keeping track of his rings or anything, and he wasn’t wearing his leather bracelet. God, Steve really needed to not stare at his hands so much, normal people didn’t just stare at their customers hands every time they saw them. Normal people also probably weren’t as interested in the way oatmeal raisin man’s shirt sleeves cuffed his arms perfectly, or the way that the bottom of his shirt rode up a little around his stomach, showing off some of his extremely pale skin. Steve stood there for what was probably too long, staring at him, before realizing he should definitely have responded to what the man had said.

“Oh- No, I definitely work all day on Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, and Thursdays, and basically like every day we’re open. They kind of have me working just about as much as they can since one of my old coworkers quit, since I’m one of the only people not still in high school and I don’t really have anything else to do, besides babysit these stupid highschoolers I’m friends with-“ He started rambling, a light flush on his cheeks while he started counting on his fingers all of the reasons he would most definitely be there, leaving out that seeing oatmeal raisin man was reason number one. “But you definitely are not here to listen to me talk about how ridiculously boring and lame my life is, I’m so sorry, did you want your usual?” He asked, running a hand through his hair and trying to seem more nonchalant.

“Actually, I was thinking that today I might see what you recommend, Stevie boy. What’s your favorite dessert here?” Oatmeal raisin man asked while he crossed his arms, one hand coming up to play with a curl. He tilted his head slightly, batting his eyelashes as Steve stood there, his mouth slightly open.

“Ummm… I’m not really big on sweets if I’m gonna be completely honest with you, but I think our chocolate chip cookies are good? I made the ones that are out today, so it’s honestly probably fifty-fifty, there’s a reason I’m usually in the front helping customers.” Steve explained, the hand that was in his hair moving to scratch the back of his neck as he gave a half shrug. He moved to the case with cookies, and pulled out a pretty chocolate filled cookie. He placed it into one of the little brown bags that they had, and slid it over the counter to oatmeal raisin man.

“Oh? They just leave you and your pretty face out here all by yourself?” Oatmeal raisin man joked, his eyes never leaving Steve as he moved to stand back in front of him. He moved to pull his wallet from his back pocket, flipping it open and taking out a five dollar bill. When he held his hand with the money out to Steve, it was pushed back to him as Steve’s fingers curled around his own.

“I mean, I don’t think it’s too lonely when I get to see you.” Steve said, winking when a light blush dusted Oatmeal Raisin Man’s cheeks. “By the way,” he continued, “I don’t think I’ve ever been told your name? And I mean, if you don’t want to tell me you totally don’t have to, but like sometimes I tell my best friend about you and I never get to use your name-“ Steve started, his eyes widening when he realized that he’d totally just admitted to talking about Oatmeal Raisin Man to other people.

“I mean- I totally don’t tell my best friend about you and I totally did not mean to say that, I’m like, way cool and like, totally chill.” Nice save, Steve. Real nice. He grimaces to himself and runs his hand through his hair, yet again, trying to school the bright red blush that’s got to be apparent on his cheeks.

Oatmeal Raisin Man grins, lighting up his whole face, “Stevie, sweetheart, you tell your friends about me? That makes me feel so much better about torturing my party every week with a new story about seeing you. And, it’s Eddie, by the way. Eddie Munson, but you can call me whatever you’d like.” Eddie gives Steve a wink, placing his five dollar bill that was returned into the tip jar by the cash register instead.

---

thank you so much for reading !! i wanna continue this but idk ! i probs will and ik eddie didn't mention hairstylist things so i guess i have to continue it??? who knows !

[dirtpie39]

I just finished my first play-through of Nier Automata… imma talk about it a little! ✨

First things first… I got the ending W then it went to AW as seen above. I have no clue what that means LOL. I also have no clue how to proceed from here… I saved my data into the same slot for when I play again but I have no idea how the game will go from there. Will it just take me to the same ending or will it continue as if the ending I got didn’t happen etc…?? Also… I got so caught up in playing the game that there were a couple of posts I wanted to make prior to this of specific moments in the game but won’t now cause it’d feel pointless. I took way too many pics whilst playing too lol… and I deada*s would’ve used them all in this post but ehhh 🤷‍♀️

I want you all to know that when Adam revealed he had 9s I audibly gasped lol. Like just the epitome of this emoji ‘😟’. But ya’ll after the fight when we beat (read: F**KING KILL) Adam... and 2b holds 9s as she walks away. I was squealing sm. I love that she got to hold him. 9s deserves to be held!!

Honestly the moment their eyes were revealed my brain just kinda did a flip ngl. Like I got pulled out of the scene going on but in a good way! 9s was ofc even more precious... And 2b... 2b went from a 10/10 to a 1000000000/10. I was momentarily hypnotized by her beauty. I'm hoping sm that in other endings we get to see her and 9s without their eyes covered.

This scene ya’ll... I was so wide-eyed the whole time. Like I knew since they were androids they would never fully die like forever but still... I was shaking in my chair lol. I felt so bad for 2b the most though cause like this is the second time she’d of lost him. And for a short while there I thought that's where the game was going. Like it’d flash to the bunker and 9s would come see 2b and we’d have him introduce himself to her and her just be like “Ahh yes hello stranger of whom I've never seen before 😀” and it’d have her meaningfully look at him with her eyes cover off then that’d be the end. Tbh I wouldn't of really minded that ending. I'm glad it didn't end that way ofc! 😆✨

Ofc the part of her clothing that got torn off was the part that shows her panties... Ofc it was LOL. Putting that aside I love them sm ya’ll. I'm so happy that 9s managed to fully stay himself this time despite the whole corruption thing.

The second I found out there were multiple endings I was already gonna ‘replay’ the game lol... But it's nice to see the reminder from the developers themselves. This whole post is just me word vomiting ngl. I swear ya’ll I was originally gonna say meaningful stuff but got tired and this came out... 😶✨

[narrators-journal]

Sexual healing

I hope this has enough spanking in it, I’m never too sure how to make spanking HOT enough lol. I at least had a fun time writing it? I know it’s not particularly LOVING, but tbh I always got the vibe from Machi that she was a lesbian, so I mayyyy have made a colder bitch than Illumi lmao. Other than that, just another Ao3 ask!

Kinktober prompt list: Here

Kinktober Masterlist: Here

CW: Spanking, Hisoka gets pegged, handcuffs are included. I may not have focused on the prompt, but it is spicy regardless!

Feitan and Uvogin? Healed. Dinner? Had. The members of the phantom troupe? Accounted for, and in one piece. All around, Machi Komacine considered her night free to herself. After all, her usual thorns in the side were either drunkenly passed out, or dealt with after that day’s mission. Plus! Hisoka Morrow, the painted, colorful bastard, wasn’t included in this job! She was free of him and his mind games.

So, taking down her light pink hair from its usual fluffy ponytail, Machi slipped into her sleeping bag, letting out a content sigh when the blissful comfort of a mattress seemed to turn her bones into jelly. After so long af sleeping in abandoned buildings or stolen cars, the healer didn’t care about the creaky, cheap mattress. It was a mattress.

Yet, an early bedtime wasn’t in the cards. Judging from the sickly familiar pattern of knocks at her door. Grimacing, the healer rolled over so that her back was to the door. Firmly ignoring it, only for the bastard to sing, “Macha~ Be a dear and let me in~”

So, with a mix of a sigh and a groan, Machi unzipped her sleeping bag and basically threw herself from the cheap hotel bed to stomp over and rip the door nearly off the hinges. “What the fuck do you want, Morrow? Why are you even here?” She spat, sapphire eyes narrowing darkly as she glared into those snake-yellow, smug eyes staring down at her. “I missed you! So, I came to find you.” Was the sappy response Hisoka gave, batting his lashes at her, jesus christ she’d kill for lashes that thick, and playing sweet. But, the sugar made Machi’s stomach churn. “Fuck off.” she spat again, trying to slam the door in the clown’s face. However, he was quicker, and got his foot in the door before she could entirely shut him out. ”Oh come on, Machi! Let me in, I’ll make my visit quick.” He promised, unbothered by the woman throwing her weight into the door to try and force his foot out of the way. Until, finally, she gave another groan and just caved, going back to the bed to pack up her sleeping bag. And, when she turned around, sure enough, the tall psychopath had followed her in.

The silence of his movements brought a shudder, but the healer bottled it up, knowing that any sign of how much Hisoka scared her would draw out whatever game he wanted to play, or demand he had for her. So, she turned her attention to tying her long hair back into its usual style. “Alright. What do you need sewn up.” She said coolly, ignoring how close he was to trapping her between the bed and his well-muscled body as she walked over to her duffle bag to dig out the pin cushion she kept her needles in. Making a conscious choice to crouch down instead of bend when she did. “Nothing,” He hummed, his syrupy tone dropped in favor of a more bored one. A glance over her shoulder revealing that the clown had gone from flirtatious, to more casual. Which, only meant one thing. “God damn it, Hisoka. Don’t you have a boytoy or something?! Some poor bitch you’ve baby trapped?” She snapped, standing up to glare at him again, her hands on her hips like an annoyed mother. Yet, her harsh tone didn’t seem to phase the pink-haired man, barely getting him to lift his yellow eyes from some mystery stain on his outfit. “No, everyone else is so boring. And Illumi said that if I try to bargain for sex a second time, he’d put a needle in my urethra.” He sighed, pouting at her like he wanted her sympathy for that.

Which, Machi did show. After all, while the phantom troupe were a ballsy pack of villains, even they were scared of crossing the Zoldyck family. And, personally, Illumi Zoldyck was Machi’s personal nightmare. With bottomless, soulless pits for eyes, suffocating nen that he used for a terrifying ability, and such a clinical, almost robotic personality, Machi would sooner face the devil than that man.

Though, on some level, maybe the devil was a far more likely encounter than people normally had. After all, he currently sat on her bed, giving her puppy dog eyes.

So, with a long sigh, Machi pinched the bridge of her nose, gritting her teeth in pure annoyance. “Fine. But I’m gagging you.” She told the tall man, getting a thousand watt smile that would’ve been charming if it was from anyone else. But, that aside, the healer simply turned back to her dufflebag to fish out some handcuffs, ball gag, and a vibrantly purple strap on that she kept for a more desirable partner.

By the time she turned back to Hisoka, he was already naked. His vest and pants were torn off as if he was some bachelorette stripper rather than a murderous psycho, but she didn’t bother questioning his speed or skill with stripping down. “Get on the bed. Face down, and put your hands out like usual.” she ordered, watching the scarred man eagerly climb onto the cheap, creaky bed, his ass already in the air. Machi coming over to cuff his wrists together once he was in position. “Open.” she added, a little perturbed by how readily Hisoka opened his mouth to let her put the thick rubber ball in his mouth and secure it around his head. Or, maybe it was the glitter of lust sparkling in his yellow eyes, either way, she didn’t know how to feel.

Regardless of that, though, she just went about the usual steps of their ‘hook ups’, as Hisoka called these meetings. Strolling down to the foot of the bed to kick off her sleep shorts and pull on the base of her sex toy, ensuring the silicone dildo was secure before moving to stand behind him, staring down at the round rump eagerly awaiting whatever she was going to do.

It wasn’t a surprise that Hisoka was so horny for whatever sex he could get, but it still somewhat annoyed the healer that he was so okay with being pegged, and, even after her setting such a firm rule on that being her only form of sexual contact with him, him asking for it.

"You really need to find someone else to 'scratch your itch'." Machi huffed, slapping the homicidal clown's ass, knowing well enough that he couldn't answer through the gag she'd tied in his mouth. "Like a prostitute."

Despite her complaints, though, the woman gave another slap to Hisoka's ass. At least enjoying the chance to cause the annoying bastard some pain for all of the healing he demands of her, and his general flirty pestering. If he got some sense of pleasure out of her strikes, that was up to him, but for her, the sight of the powerful man on his belly, handcuffed to the bed posts with a ball gag keeping him silent was more cathartic than arousing. But, if it kept him from dragging himself to her for free healing, she was willing to tolerate his sexual appetite.

So, she grabbed the bottle of lube and stroked a thin layer of it onto the pink silicone strap on she wore. Then, she simply lined herself up and pushed into Hisoka, thanking whatever god there was that he had been gagged when he let out a pornographic moan.

But, she ignored his theatrics and simply grabbed onto his hips when he pushed back against her and began moving. Tuning out each lustful noise and letting the pink-haired man push his ass back to meet her thrusts eagerly, only focusing on humping into him and pacing herself. After all, the last time she’d rushed one of their ‘hook up’, Hisoka had whined and purposely increased her work load to spite her. So, she made sure her thrusts alternated between slow, deep movements, and quicker ones.

Plunging the pink toy into Hisoka, clawing into his scarred skin, and sprinkling in a few harsh slaps to the meat of his ass, Machi still found no pleasure in her companion, but she did feel a small seed of pride and power sprout in her chest. After all, while Hisoka Morrow was far too annoying and deranged for her to consider dating him, he was still insanely powerful. He almost never stopped training and pushing himself, which the pink-haired woman would’ve respected far more if he wasn’t so...indescriminate with that drive. So, while she did hold a bit of respect for his fighting abilities, and maybe a little for his sadistic joy, there were simply too many factors for the woman to get more than an ego boost out of the sexual aspect of their meetings.

Finally pulling herself out of that rabbit hole, Machi let out a slow breath and focused back in on the man she had tied down on the hotel bed. Noting his dishevelled pink hair, sweat-beaded skin, and muffled, needy moans as she lifted her hand and landed another severe blow to his, surely sore by that point, ass again, getting a more emphatic moan in response. Which, she took as a good sign and switched to a faster pace. The mulling over of Hisoka’s ambiguous, confusing signals could be pushed off for the time being. For now, she focused on the joy she got out of leaving an angry patch of red on the scarred man’s ass as she fucked him.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 6x03-- The End of Football

This will probably be a short one. This isn’t a bad episode, but it’s a case heavy one, and, y’all, I have so much to say about episode four (which I’ve already seen*) that I just want to get through this one. 

*I have also now seen episode 5 oops

This episode’s title makes me happy. The Kings used to say that there was exactly one big thing CBS wouldn’t let them do on network*, and that was go after the NFL. This seems to no longer be an issue on Paramount+. 

* That they actually attempted to do; obvs they couldn’t have the characters swear, because hearing the word “fuck” is much more detrimental to society than gritty violence! 

I am not a big sports fan. Tbh, I held a grudge against football for a little while there because it was “that thing that meant TGW would start at 9:17 some weeks and 9:53 other weeks” when games ran over. That was so infuriating. While I’m walking down memory lane, here are the two worst things football ever did to me: (1) A game went into overtime the night that they killed off Will, meaning that the episode aired in Canada in its entirety before it started in the US. This meant that spoilers found their way to me, like, fifteen minutes before the episode aired. My fault for being on twitter, but I did not like that experience and I blame football. (2) There was one episode, I think it was the season six premiere, that was delayed nearly a full hour because a game went into DOUBLE OVERTIME over a touchdown that happened with literally one second left on the clock. That’s just cruel.  

So yeah football is bad and we should ban it because it used to get in the way of me personally enjoying my show when I wanted to. There are no other reasons it is bad. Just those. (I kid. I will likely “case stuff happens” nearly all of the football-related scene of this episode, but the traumatic brain injury stuff really is a big deal.)  

Carmen has moved into, but not furnished, her big new apartment. She’s watching a reality TV show that seems horribly delicious and working out when – you guessed it –  Charles Lester knocks on her door. This time, she’s got a gun. She puts it away when she recognizes Lester’s voice. She also notes that she didn’t buzz him in and he says the doorman let him up. It only took thirteen seasons, but I’m glad the writers have finally realized that doormen are a thing in fancy apartment buildings in big cities. It used to drive me crazy that people would just show up at Alicia’s door.  

I want to understand how Carmen’s compensation works. I assume that as a lawyer at what I believe is a prestigious firm, she’d be making enough to afford that apartment, but did she get a raise? Is her salary tied to the work she brings in, and if so, does that kick in immediately? Why is this a thing that I care about? I think it’s part of a broader question I have about Carmen’s status at the firm. To echo something @antiphon said about episode 2, does the rest of the firm know or care that Carmen’s bringing in these unsavory elements? Ri’Chard clearly does, but how does STRL feel? Liz? Diane? Why does everyone accept it like it’s a given that this firm would take on these clients? And how is Carmen allowed to operate so autonomously? Also, what is she getting out of being part of a firm if she’s a team of one and not using the firm’s resources (other than Jay, I guess)? I think this episode answers some of these questions, and Carmen was flat out asked why she stays at the firm last year, but I think the writers could’ve done a better job here. It feels like Carmen’s off on her own island and it doesn’t really make sense that this could, like, happen in the first place.  

Carmen is being summoned to something called a “Crypto-Prom” which sounds either like hell or the most amusing thing in the world.  

It’s a weird move to just bring someone a dress to wear, but I guess Charles Lester is a weird person.  

I would watch Carmen observe things for hours tbh.  

Carmen and Lester talk about Lester’s backstory; it’s mildly interesting. He flips the question around on Carmen and asks her why she’s doing this, because, quote (this is so ridiculous I need more than quotation marks to indicate these are his words), “Liz and Diane are lawyers. You’re the law.” WHAT? I mean, I get what he’s saying, but what a way of saying it.  

This scene is a little heavy-handed in its attempt to get us to understand that Lester is the future version of Carmen (in terms of career, at least).  

Ben-Baruch determined Carmen’s dress size, because he is “good at sizing up women.” BARF.  

The crypto prom is cut short by an undercover cop and Lester’s subsequent arrest for the murder of the CI embedded with Ben-Baruch last episode.  

Diane wakes up from her latest trip to a hallucination of a sexy shirtless man painting. Did you get that the drug makes her really horny? I think the writers are really being too subtle here. We need more elves with erections to make the point.  

Diane’s developing, or should I say DEEPENING, her obsession with flowers. The colors, apparently, “tickle her brain.”  

“I worry that I don’t see enough of the beauty of the world,” Diane says. Bettencourt asks why. Diane says it’s the “curse of the progressive” and I find this hilarious. I don’t doubt that she feels this way, but wow, is it a privileged thing to say. She’s cursed with not seeing the beauty of the world because sometimes in her cushy life filled with arts and luxury... she has to think about the suffering of others? I PITY HER.  

I get where she’s coming from, of course, it just sounds so PRIVILEGED. If she’d just said she doesn’t see enough of the beauty of the world, fine, but to call herself cursed? Okay, sure.  

“If one person is suffering, you can’t enjoy your life,” Diane says. Come on. I’m sure she loves to think of it that way, but, come on. If she really felt that, there are things she could be doing to help... like working on pro-bono cases...  

To continue making the point that Diane doesn’t see enough beauty, she begins to reference art. Compelling case, Diane, 10/10.  

Bettencourt, of course, knows the painting Diane’s referencing before she says its title. I appreciate (but maybe don’t need?) the visual of the painting. I appreciate it because I was going to look it up. 

Bettencourt tells Diane she is a “lifeguard” based on her analysis of the painting (she sees the suffering magnified while the painting shows it off in the corner with everyone ignoring it). Huh, that sounds familiar... 

Diane has her shoes off lollol  

I think the reason I like this high!Diane is that I feel like these scenes are actually just showing me who Diane is when she isn’t working. Like, sure, she’s high, but also this kiiiiiinda just feels like a less inhibited version of who I imagine Diane is in her free time.  

Diane worries she won’t be able to go to court after her treatment because she isn’t angry enough. “Maybe you’ll be better at your job if you’re not angry,” Bettencourt says, and that shakes Diane to the core.  

Bettencourt gives Diane homework, and she’s like OMG YAY HOMEWORK I LOVE HOMEWORK in a tone that sounds somewhat sarcastic but mostly serious. 

Diane saying, “I do. Guilty.” and raising her hand sheepishly when Bettencourt asks her if she knows what doomscrolling is is (1) adorable and (2) extremely cringe. I’m so here for it. 

Bettencourt tells her to stop doomscrolling for 72 hours, which is advice I could use, too. He says that it’s not just the treatment that can change her mood – it's also her behaviors.  

CASE STUFF HAPPENS!!! (sorry I'm very excited to get through this recap) 

Ok something I care about is happening now; this case is interesting in that Ri’Chard and Liz are working together. Liz acknowledges that Ri’Chard is good. He says arguing in court is his fourth favorite thing, after sex, food, and music. Literally why are you mentioning sex, dude?  

In her extremely gray and bleak office, Diane watches protests out the window. She gets a news alert about how the protests keep going on, then scrolls through a bunch of horrible news articles about guns, climate change, killer gators, skin cancer... there’s one that says “Texas politician sues own daughter over abortion” which is either a real thing or something that will be a real thing in the next year, and mandated school prayer. Then her phone chimes with a news alert about gun violence, a literal plague, “body odor definitive sign of rare genetic disease,” warehouse employees being overworked to death... she decides to unplug. So, on the one hand I really think there’s some truth to all of the “stop doomscrolling” stuff – I haven’t really checked Twitter today and I do feel better for it* -- but I also am not sure it works so well when there are actual protests outside of Diane’s (verrrrrry fake) window. So, Diane is just supposed to tune out the literal protests outside her office because it makes her feel the same way that... clickbaity headlines designed to encourage more engagement do? That’s a stretch. The problem with doomscrolling is that there is no point to it. Getting more enraged in an echo chamber and then spending more time on websites (and thus getting said websites more ad money) is a thing you can easily cut from your life. Paying attention to your surroundings is... not the same. I’m not sure what the point here is – that you can make yourself feel better personally but the world literally outside your window is going to be shit?  

*this is also, in large part, because when I use Twitter specifically, I feel like I have to see how every conversation or topic goes, even if I’d be perfectly fine never knowing about it. I get very obsessive about it and it turns into a huge time suck. 

Marissa, the newest member of her dad’s legal team, is looking obviously bored during a meeting. Diane grabs her and tells her to shut off access to the news, Twitter, and Facebook. Chumhum is ok though! Marissa wonders how Diane will keep track of the protests without any of this, to which I have two responses. (1) Diane could simply LOOK OUT THE WINDOW WHY IS NO ONE ACKNOWLEDGING HOW WEIRD IT IS THEY ARE ALL STILL IN THE OFFICE and (2) What’s there to keep track of with the protests, anyway? No one seems to know what they are about, so what information is there, other than their physical location? And if it’s just their physical location, please refer to (1).  

Also... preventing yourself from doomscrolling and cutting yourself off from the news are different things. There is a medium between obsessively refreshing Twitter and living under a rock. 

Wait guys I have to tell you this story about my mom because Diane just said something that sounds like the serenity prayer. So my mom and I were going through an old box of stuff and we found a necklace with the serenity prayer on it, and I was like, “uhhh why do we have this?” (you all don’t know my mom but believe me, this is not something it would be like her to own). I’m fully expecting her to say a friend gave it to her or it was sent in the mail by some charity, but NO. NO. She tells me, “Oh, I think I got it for you at Goodwill or something when you were really into Desperate Housewives and Bree was going to AA meetings.”  

I was twelve when that plot aired. So my mom bought me a serenity prayer necklace as a reference to a TV show plot about alcoholism... when I was TWELVE. This story says so much about my relationship to television.  

Carmen tries to convince Lester to find new representation. She’s Baruch’s lawyer, so she can’t be Lester’s. I know how this plot ends, and it surprises me that Lester can’t see it five miles away.  

I feel like we have seen a lot of these cases where the financier of the case has interests that are at odds with the person who’s actually in court.  

Case stuff happens. 

Carmen wakes up on the floor (??) to find her gun box empty. Ben-Baruch has broken in to threaten her! A lot of drama happens but basically he is scary and requires her to make Lester the fall guy by giving him shitty representation. 

Credits at the 17:20 mark! I’m sad there isn’t any sort of cute warning message over the skip button like there is for Evil.  

Thanks to Diane Lockhart’s patronage, flower stands are THRIVING despite the protests.  

After buying as many flowers as she can possibly carry, Diane boards the work elevator with Carmen (have these two interacted before? I genuinely don’t remember.). She offers Carmen flowers, and Carmen declines but asks if she came from a funeral.  

Diane says she didn’t, but she wants to make the downstairs cheerier. Remember in TGW when the floral budget was one of the first things to go? In a plot about the 2008 recession? Man this show has history.  

Okay, Diane, stop showing off how much more knowledgeable you are than everyone! You’re making me feel inferior! (I have seen, and very much liked (though I remember some parts being hella weird and the central theme being very heavy-handed), Metropolis. And it is not that deep of a cut. But it’s not enough for Diane to have art and literature?! She knows her film too?!)  

Carmen’s opposition in court is her former teacher. He seems like an asshole. He tries to throw her off by acting like she wasn’t memorable in class and it’s surprising she’d do well.  

Carmen returns some flowers to Diane and says her meeting is too serious for flowers; Diane offers to help. Carmen declines.  

Carmen must have a great memory because she’s able to quote this guy’s lectures. She could also be bullshitting (at least in terms of her certainty about when he said things).  

Diane’s office is still gray but now it also has flowers. I love having the flowers in every shot.  

Without doomscrolling to keep her busy, Diane realizes that she is... not doing work.  

She goes out into the open seating area and comes across a pack of associates discussing the news – women are being outlawed in Texas (one of those absurd headlines that you’re meant to, I think, take as a dark joke? Because even in this day and age that would be quite alarming?). Diane wants to know what’s happening! 

The associates all play along with Marissa and refuse to tell Diane, a partner, the news. I did not realize they all had that kind of relationship with her! Marissa, watching this, smiles to herself and tries to leave the room.  

Doesn’t Diane need to know SOME news to do her job?  

Marissa refuses to turn social media and news back on.  

There’s footage of Lester leaving the crime scene; he insists it’s a fake. 

Oooh a little moment continuing the tension between Carmen and Marissa when Marissa drops a vase of flowers off on Jay’s desk and Carmen tenses up.    

Carmen wants to know if the video is fake but doesn’t know if she’ll do anything with it... since she suspects Ben-Baruch faked it. Jay seems worried for Carmen. 

I guess people can get used to anything but it’s very alarming how little anyone seems to care about these protests.  

CASE! STUFF! HAPPENS!  

I don’t know why I love the detail of Liz having an Apple Watch, but I do.  

Marissa dumps a bag of toys on Diane’s desk to distract her. It’s pretty funny (though not as funny as when Kalinda read Diane Vampire Diaries fanfiction). Wild to do to a partner, but we all know Marissa has no boundaries.  

Diane decides to pour drinks for herself and Carmen since she’s picked up on Carmen’s stress. Look at Diane actually being a mentor!  

Carmen says she’s waiting for Liz; Diane notes that Liz probably isn’t coming back to the office this late and asks what she needs. Carmen gives Diane a thinly veiled summary of her predicament. Diane asks for more information, listening attentively, then says “With more drinking comes more clarity.”  

Carmen’s equally stressed the next day in court. Diane surprises her by showing up as co-counsel, which... like, actually, this is new ground for Diane? And probably an appropriate, good use of her time, given the profile of the clients and her status? (This is, of course, setting aside that I don’t think anyone at Reddick & Associates actually would want Ben-Baruch as a client in the first place.)  

Diane says she’ll do her best and Carmen can do her worst. Feels like a doomed plan, but, okay! 

Case stuff happens. 

Case stuff happens for the other case. 

Case stuff happens for Diane and Carmen’s case again. It’s done pretty well but I don’t have much to say about it.  

Ben-Baruch is pretty scary. 

I love that Lester says that Bishop “accepted Jesus after he left prison” and that’s why he’s not active anymore. Nice little wink at Evil, where Mike Colter plays a priest, right there. 

Football case stuff happens. 

Turns out the guy financing Liz and Ri’Chard’s case doesn’t want the same thing as the actual client. (This feels familiar.) 

Rivi shows up to get Carmen out of this mess. Ben-Baruch wants Carmen killed (or at least roughed up tbh I am not really paying attention to this right now and don’t want to rewind 10 seconds) and Rivi is like, I am more important than you and I want Carmen to be okay! Clever—also, scary. Rivi might be slower to turn on someone but Rivi absolutely WOULD turn on Carmen if needed. So this is... just getting Carmen in deeper.  

Diane is at Bettencourt’s office when a window explodes and the episode ends. Sorry, this is way less dramatic when you know how it ends. (I will say I was mildly worried they’d wind up kissing.) 

[vonkarma2]

♋️ SWAP rocio and lucia. And/or joanna and jacinto?

ok I’m going to try to do both of these more briefly than the other one like I’m not going to come up with a plot for these cause if I did it would take forever let’s go

Lucia and Rocio is so difficult ok like Lucia is pretty smart but she’s more of a humanities person yk I don’t think she’d be interested in magic for its own sake, also bc she dislikes the idea of anyone having that much power. So I think she would start an insane plan to eliminate the wizard system like a vigilante like somehow making it so humans can’t do magic… idk exactly what she’d do I don’t think she’d get rid of it wholesale because it is often used for good purposes and she wouldn’t ignore that? Since this is a role swap au she has to do something similar to what Rocio does…. But that’s not really like her style idk she wants to have an effect on the world in a positive way but she doesn’t want any kind of ultimate power AT ALL the way Rocio does. Maybe she wants to go to the second world just to kill Gabriel so that he doesn’t have power over it anymore (<he would agree with this decision dw). Maybe the Suns know that she would love to kill them and so decide to work with her and help her, and so they have to go like get enough power to complete whatever it is Lucia wants to do that she thinks would help people the most.

Also she’s still dating Cirillo, I think she would have known him for longer in this so they’d have a more established relationship. He’s in the main plot in this not bc he needs to be there but bc the two of them wanted to spend time together <3 

Rocio with Lucia’s life is like hmmm maybe she was interested in magic but was never able to pursue it so became a fisherman instead (<this is what Lucia does, it is a very common job near the coast in Zeolan) but is dissatisfied with it and wishes she could affect the world more, specifically through magic since I think Rocio would always be at least a little interested in it no matter what. They’d dissociate from reality the same way they do in the main story probably. But it’s not like Lucia did nothing forever so. I think she’s still friends with Cirillo here, like they know each other well they probably met in a similar way to how he and Lucia did. But they become closer inexplicably, maybe bc they have no other friends so they’re always nice to him (<relatively speaking of course). And then they get involved in the Reles plot ummm so they wouldn’t be as nice to Joseph (they wouldn’t be mean to him or anything it’s just their personality) I think it would be more transparent that they have no idea what they’re doing. So he would be even more miserable than he already is. BUT Rocio is bolder they’re more proactive I think they’d be willing to straight up murder Joanna if it came to that. Which would be funny

jacinto and joanna would be so funny bc they are complete opposites. So I guess we aren’t switching any of the other characters around just these 2. I think Joanna would actually be a great private detective tbh, she’s very observant, she’s just as good at poring over documents and following people around as Jacinto, and she’s way more personable and so could get more information out of people that way I guess. The idea of her interacting with Gloria is bizarre to me ok I think Joanna would be a good parent bc that’s like who she is and Gloria would definitely appreciate that and probably be more stable than she is normally. But I think she still would be a little uncomfortable spending time with her, and want to be on her own/independent and also see the rest of the world, so I think she’d do something like that involves traveling (maybe become a sailor I think) and like being on her own. I think she’d be more solitary too as opposed to being super extroverted, like she’d like being on her own. But she would be on good terms with Joanna and visit her often.

Also since Joanna isn’t Relesian in this she’s just straight up a good person LMAO.

Jacinto would just not be a parent in this au because Joseph is adopted and there’s no way they would ever adopt a child. Ok let’s say they did so Joseph is like in the story maybe bc if they didn’t they knew he wouldn’t be in a good situation or something… well whatever so Joanna has a pretty large extended family (she’s the second of five kids + most of them have children of their own so there’s a lot of cousins and such) who she’s pretty close to, so in this Jacinto would have a family who is alive and not dead as well. So parenting wise I think everything would work out ok B). 

Career wise I think Jacinto is not at all the type of person to be patriotic much less get involved with working for the government, but I can see them being a scientist/sci fi biologist the same way Joanna is. Maybe it’s like one of those scenarios where someone is tricked into developing a project they think is normal but is instead used for evil. Well anyway other than that this would work out well for everyone, except me, this feels so weird to me since these characters never interact lol.

[parasite-core]

monster for calio or mau

Thanks for the ask anon!

So I’m definitely going with Calio on this. Because *motions to all of him*

Monster: Is your OC monsterous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

So Calio toed the line of monstrous for a bit, especially early on. He lies and charms and manipulates as easily as he breathes. Even before having magic, he was someone who was accustomed to wrapping others around his fingers. He did not give a second thought to those he tossed aside afterwards.

Then when he got magic you throw in the ability to torture and painfully kill the people who slight him. Oh and the power to raise the dead and puppeteer their bodies by trapping their souls in eternal torment within the rotting corpse, can’t forget that. He was and tbh still is absolutely unrepentant about both of these.

But a lot happened to him between early game and now. Traveling with a group of idiot adventurers (affectionate) will do that.

So looking at Calio early on—he was right on the line of monstrous, but would claim since he had those lines it’s what separated him from a real monster. ‘I’m a bit of a bastard not a complete monster’ is definitely something he said at least once. But as much as he claimed to be self aware of how horrible of a person he was, I don’t think back then he really knew how close he came to the line sometimes. That or he didn’t actually care, which is honestly more likely. He decided to become a cultist to the goddess of undeath and the god of murder. He was not trying very hard to separate himself from the monsters they fought in the early days.

Things started to change when he fell in love with Greta. They changed a bit more when he was mentally linked with Talsune, which gave him a crutch of sorts for his own lack of empathy. And they changed even more when they fought Rasputin, and Calio felt like he really saw the sort of person he had been before his memory loss for the first time, through seeing the person he’d worked with and had a relationship with in his old life.

The final nail in the coffin to his old worldview was having to choose between his friends who he’d grown close to in this adventure, or his mentor and friend from his old life, Keisuke. When he began thinking about where things went wrong with Keisuke, what made them different, it peeled away the last of his stubborn defenses, it forced him to face the fact that he *had* been changing over time. And that this wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, or a weakness.

Calio recently is much more aware of the sort of person he had been, and who he has the potential to be going forward. He *knows* that he was one step, one wrong choice, one wrong path, away from being just like Keisuke. He isn’t self-deprecating, but he feels there’s no point in trying to soften it and pretend he wasn’t that sort of person when he first met the others. He would openly admit that when they first met he would have stabbed them all in the back in a heartbeat if it would have guaranteed him power, comfort, and status. Queen Elvanna made her offer to him too late—by the time she tried to turn him against his friends, he was already undyingly loyal to them. If she’d caught the former Grimm Rider at the start of his second life, she would have had his alliance easily—he likely wouldn’t have given it a second thought, despite knowing she was planning to cause an icy apocalypse.

Who he is now is… not always a *good* person, but he’s a loyal person, and a person who cares deeply for ‘his’ people. And because the people he surrounds himself with prefer when good people are kept safe, and help is offered freely, he has began to tend towards helping others without prompting as well—maybe not always for the ‘morally good’ reason, but he does it all the same.

In short—when Calio started his journey he had the potential to slide downwards into being a total monster. And despite claiming he was self aware of what a terrible person he was, he didn’t truly internalize any of what he claimed to know. Where Calio is now, he has stepped away from the metaphorical cliff, and he’s now more fully aware of *just* how close he was to the edge in the first place.

[theredpharaoah]

I get Clarke was scared and already grieving Finn most likely, but blaming Murphy for what he did was dumb. Murphy really couldn’t do anything. He’d just been accepted back into the group and given enough trust to have a gun. Based on their unofficial hierarchy Finn outranked him. That was abundantly clear throughout the entire situation because Murphy was taking Finn’s orders. I doubt he was wholly convinced that Finn wouldn’t shoot him if he got in his way. If you’re blaming anyone other than Finn then you may be able to reach for Bellamy. Maybe. Bellamy knew Finn was unstable and decided to escort the injured back to Camp Jaha instead of staying with him. Almost anyone could’ve done that. Even leaving Octavia to go with Finn would’ve been better, as she had social weight and authority to make him stop and listen. Tbh the way they treated Murphy from the jump was unfair. They almost mistakenly killed him with no real proof, and got mad when he wanted the actual killer to be punished? Charlotte was not a toddler, she knew what she’d done. She also knew that Wells was not his father. Her lil unhinged ass did not need to stick around. Compare Charlotte to Anya’s Second, Artigas, Madi, Ethan, or even the lil boy who helped Jaha in the Desert. That shit made zero sense. If they didn’t wanna execute her than they should’ve exiled her like they did Murphy. The grounders would’ve most likely adopted her(Skaikru didn’t know that but still). And also, the Grounders not introducing themselves to Skaikru was unrealistic. Jasper crossed their border but obviously he didn’t know it was a border. Ain’t no way they ain’t see that The 100 were experiencing Earth for the first time.

[phoenixyfriend]

Fake Sith TCW Trio

I have another fucked up time-travel AU! Who’s surprised? (Nobody.)

So like. Have you guys read that one fic where Luke and his students go back in time and pretend to be Sith Lords and are super hammy about it? (Sith Lord Swell by AMournfulHowlInTheNight)

This AU has contributions by @atagotiak, @the-lunar-system, @purronronner, @gelpenss, @creepingthroughthistidalwave, and @thisarenotarealblog.

I want TCW trio (plus Rex and Cody) to go back to several years pre-TPM and, since the Council DEFINITELY won't believe them about the Sith being back... they'll force the issue.

Anakin is weirdly excited about things and building up their backstory.

Anakin: Okay so I can definitely be a Maul type, with the unhinged ranting and manic laughter, Obi-Wan can be the whole Refined Rich Guy type like Dooku, where you can't even tell he's evil until he starts talking about getting out the eyeball scoops, maybe toss in a bit of mad science stuff? Ahsoka could play up like Ventress OR, oh oh, she can be the Light Side Child we need to PROTECT who's publicly begging us to return to the Light after our big dramatic Falls where we murdered like eighty people to save her, and-- Obi-Wan: Why are you never this enthusiastic about actual undercover missions. Ahsoka: Did you just have all this ready to go, or...? Anakin: WE COULD GET YELLOW CONTACT LENSES FOR ME.

Obi-Wan: How's my evil laugh?

Anakin going “Okay.. so if any of us need to murder someone to sell the bit it should be me, I think I could handle it the best. Why? No reason.”

Obi-Wan: I'm not sure a complete Fall could come from protecting Ahsoka, really-- Anakin: No, no, it could.

Obi-Wan: Surely you’d hold back because you realize neither of us want that for you. Anakin: Uh. Sure. Definitely.

Obi-Wan points out that none of them can channel the dark side to Prove they're Sith and Anakin just goes "Okay, give me like two seconds to stew in my negativity and--right, you can stop staring in horror, please."

Anakin rambles on that they can TOTALLY make the galaxy a better place while playing at being Sith! He's got a whole LIST of slave empires to "take over" and disassemble!

Anakin has a whole excited spiel about how EVIL soldiers and assistants are minions, in this case partly because Cody and Rex are too good at what they do to be mooks. Cody could pull off evil minion very well. Facial scar? Looks good in black? Quietly competent and sarcastic?

He also pushes for Obi-Wan to lounge in a fancy throne with a glass of wine while Anakin stalks the shadows and Ahsoka hangs out on the window ledge. The disaster lineage is dramatic, okay, Anakin’s just leaning into it, he’d appreciate it if everyone stopped looking at him like that.

Qui-Gon, surprisingly, ends up a skeptic about all of this. Everyone is freaking out about the Sith and he’s like “y’know I’m not even sure they’re darksiders.”

Some Jedi, possibly Qui-Gon for his conspiracy board, gets in a real risky situation and one of the Fake Sith saves them, but also panics and kinda drops character for a bit.

Jedi: You saved me! Why’d you do that? Anakin: I uh... just wanted the pleasure of killing you myself?

"You saved me. Why?" "Mmmm. Jedi." [walks away]

Qui-Gon: [trying to figure out what is up with these people semi-competently (from his perspective) pretending to be Sith] Dooku: [trying to protect Qui-Gon from Sith influence]

The gang is the most successful at pretending to be Sith to Dooku. Sure, they’re not gonna punish him for something he hasn’t done, but it’s not hard to act menacing and angry around him.

(They really do have so much fun irritating the heck out of Dooku. He hasn’t Fallen yet, but they want to keep an eye out.)

At some point, future Obi-Wan definitely drops that little tidbit of "What, you didn't think the Banites were the only Sith running around did you? You... didn't even know about the Banites. How... disappointing."

They REGULARLY use Ahsoka as an excuse to be marginally less terrible. They claim that if Ahsoka pouts, they stop. ‘Soka also uses them as an excuse for why she’s a lil feral. (To be fair, that one is accurate. She was already a lil feral before but it’s not like they did anything to stop it.) Ahsoka gets her "breaking into people's offices" jollies by bugging Nute Gunray's office.

The Jedi keep trying to Rescue Ahsoka.

Rex and Cody end up in real beskar, there's a whole Thing with Mandalore and Jango and Satine.

Obi-Wan is CONSISTENTLY worried about Anakin Falling for real, which... hey, at least he knows to be worried about Anakin Falling. Step up from canon, really.

Anakin is WAY too into killing the Hutts but like. It does... technically sell the bit.

Obi-Wan: Sure, I’m not sad that they’re dead, especially because we’re not connected to the Republic, so we don’t need to worry about starting a war and all that. But. Anakin is disturbingly cheerful about this. Rex: Wasn't he a Hutt slave? Obi-Wan: Well yes, but-- Rex: I'd kill Nala Se if I could get away with it.

Cody and Rex are very supportive of Anakin's murderous intentions.

Obi-Wan does understand anger, even killing someone in anger. Like Maul (the first time at least) and D’nar and a few others. All the same, like... y’know. The level of bloodthirst from the others is a little off-putting.

At one point, Anakin accidentally addresses young Obi-Wan by name, despite never having met before, and to cover it up, he... panic-flirts. He panics, and so he flirts, with young Obi-Wan.

(He will later blame this on old Obi-Wan, because he had to pick up the habit of flirting with the enemy from somewhere.)

Anakin vaguely implies that he's a wee bit obsessed with young Obi, and that the padawan should "get used to being the target of a dark-sider's interests," because he’s scrambling for Ominous Shit and, well, future Obi-Wan was pretty frequently a fixation point for darksiders, right?

The second he gets out, he just starts screaming into a bucket while Rex pats him on the back.

For the next however many terrible months, possibly years, he has to keep up the act while having an ongoing meltdown about how That's My Dad As A Twenty-Something.

(It doesn't help that young Obi-Wan reflexively flirted back.)

Old Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is just very "you dug this hole yourself, padawan."

There is an argument at the beginning about Obi-Wan’s outfit. If he’s gonna be a Sith, he can’t just go around in beige, but he’s like “I like this and it’s comfy.” Sure, he’s changed clothes for undercover stuff, but that’s always been temporary, y’know? He likes his beige.

We have a number of options.

My first instinct? Beige linen three piece suit, like a southern lawyer. "Now I may just be a simple Outer Rim force adept--"

And, of course, you can TOTALLY make the beige sinister: he’s impersonating a Jedi! Jedi impersonation would also explain why nobody has a red saber.

“Sure is good that the Jedi don’t seem to realize most of the galaxy doesn’t know red sabers are different and bad.” “Shhhh, stop poking holes in our story where a Jedi might overhear.”

Like.... if you do enough doublethink, it works! How would a Sith hide? In plain sight. Also, it’s a GREAT way (if they were actually assholes) to try to slander the Jedi name.

(Anakin and Ahsoka still think he could stand to put a little more effort in. Add a splash of color, for pity's sake!)

Though tbh part of me is like “What if Old Obi wore, like... a split skirt suit...” Victorian womenswear inspired because he misses his robes, but he has to look Professional, and like he's MOCKING Jedi instead of BEING one, so he wears a vintage-y split skirt thing over his leggings. Ends up looking a lot like what Ventress had for a while, but Beige. I also keep wanting to put him regency menswear.

Anyway. Obi-Wan’s wardrobe aside...

Anakin builds up his Tatoo accent again. It helps him with the (mostly true) "slavery helped me fall" backstory.

Either Cody or Rex offhandedly mentions being made to serve them (the Fake Sith) and now the Jedi are somewhat concerned about brainwashing. Are these Mandos the victims here?

“No like. Literally made for this. In a lab.” This is even more horrifying. So...

On the one hand good! The Jedi should be scared about Sith! On the other hand... it makes the Jedi more determined to stop them, specifically. They keep on getting in the way, just, all the time, and they’re not investigating the actual Sith problem, which is decidedly not great since the Team doesn’t actually know who’s a real Sith right now, except Maul, and who even knows where that guy is.

Obi-Wan, at some point: Do you think we've succeeded at this ruse... a little TOO well? Anakin: I don't follow. Obi-Wan, gesturing at the truly obnoxious amount of wealth they've collected, including "trophies" of their kills: Really? Because I'm a little worried! Anakin, planning out a battle to take on Nar Shadda: ...I'm not.

"How many people do we realistically we need to take over Hutt Space? Apparently... five."

(Mostly because Anakin is ridiculously op.)

ANAKIN AND YOUNG OBI GET KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES TOGETHER. It's tradition.

Anakin: Okay, so, I need to get really angry about something to pass as a Sith... time to think about my WIFE and how I'll NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

Since Anakin’s life never goes as planned... this does not work. Instead of getting properly angry, he makes himself sad. There are tears. There is wailing. There’s a distraught rant or two. Young Obi ends up awkwardly trying to comfort him.

“Oh no, this… Sith?? Is crying on me. What do I do???”

Later on, when the Council wants intel: "So... one of the Sith cried on me about his wife. I think she's dead? He wasn't very clear about it but it, uh... it sounded like it might have contributed to his Fall. Also the relationship was a little unhealthy? He basically worshiped the ground she walked on and kept ranting about how he would have given her the galaxy on a platinum platter of she'd only asked, but that might be new and inspired by the Dark."

One of the random Jedi is REALLY good at detecting the truth Through The Force, and asks Anakin how he Fell...

Anakin just. Tells the Tuskens story.

They don't get pinged as lying, but oh boy does old Obi have a LOT of questions for Anakin once they're in private.

There are other things happening to help sell the ruse. Some of them are necessary! Some of them are... not.

Obi-Wan: What's the best way to show we're rich and kind of evil, but like... classy about it? Anakin, immediately: I sit on the floor next to the throne, leaning against it, and you call me pet names while stroking my hair, and then when you need something killed I get to do it for you and then I go back to the floor and you thank me for the directed violence, and then you go back to Negotiations with criminals while I’m sitting there covered in blood. Obi-Wan: ...is there something you want to TELL us, or...?

"You're all going to get a glimpse of something normally kept hidden about me." "Anakin, you don't have to do that." "No, I'm gonna."

(Anakin has decided hes going to peel his kink tomato to sell this ruse, and the others are slightly uncomfortable with that.)

Anakin: Okay, I cannot keep flirting with you. Young Obi: Wait, what? But that's the best part of any time we run into you! Anakin: You look WAY too much like my Master did when I met him. Obi: O...kay? If someone looked like my master when HE was young, I'd-- Anakin: My Sith Master half-raised me. He's basically my dad. Obi: ... Anakin: What's that look for? Obi: I mean, you spend a lot of time lounging at his feet, and, like, given how much you hate slavery, I... kind of assumed it was a kink thing? Anakin, brightly: Oh no, I just have a LOT of trauma. And neuroses. Snips says they’re neuroses.

Young Obi is a little upset because he was actually getting REALLY into Flirting With The Enemy and was hoping it would go somewhere. He mopes to Qui-Gon about it. Qui-Gon isn't sure whether to be proud about Obi breaking rules, or worried over Obi-Wan falling for a Fake Sith.

(As Tia put it: "You enjoy making young Obi-Wan have a completely unrequited crush on Anakin, don’t you?")

Fortunately, one of those attractive Young Mando boys very kindly helped him tape up his ribs this one time, and has thus caught his eye...

I feel like having Cody date Young Obi would court an entirely different kind of (internet) drama because clone ages, but whatever.

Also please imagine an element of "so I'm dating the genetic identical of my boss... who's dating the man I'm a genetic identical of..."

(It's probably not actually Jangobi but man would that be funny and also stupid.)

Somehow Young Obi figures out that the "Sith Master" is a future him before he realizes that they're not actually dark. In his defense, Anakin was pretty convincing. Especially with the wife rant. It makes HIM more obsessed with Anakin, in a reversal of the implied earlier dynamic, which is all kinds of weird. Less romantic but like. Still weird.

"Future Me Scares Me" with Extra stupid. "Future Me Annoys Me." "Future Me acts like grandmaster Dooku, but more sass." "Future Me raised a really hot evil guy that refuses to bang Present Me." "Future Me might be a Sith, but I'm getting more and more convinced he's just fucking with us all." "Future Me is really rocking that beard, and I can't BELIEVE we figured out a way around the babyface."

"I’m kinda concerned about the whole evil thing, but I’m also glad that I know I’ll stay hot as I get older."

Quinlan approves of the priorities.

Also a lot of interactions with older Obi are very Anakin: [does/says something deeply unhinged] Obi-Wan: So, do you want to…. Talk about that? Maybe? Anakin: What’s there to talk about?? I’m fine, everything’s fine! Anyways how about those plans for tracking down Maul?

Anakin later, like way after the ruse is lifted, just blankly tells everyone that he did Fall, once, and Older Obi made him get therapy about it after the truth came out between the two of them a few months into the Fake Sith thing.

Where'd they find a therapist? I'm sure there's one SOMEWHERE around. Denon and Herdessa are close enough, and they've done enough "your criminal empire now belongs to me" that they can pay well. They make sure to find one that takes confidentiality real seriously.

It's all very "we need some more time to unpack all that."

Therapy helps get Anakin to figure out Sheev’s whole deal. They don't necessarily figure out he’s a Sith from it, but they figure out he’s sketchy and they need to look into that more. Obi-Wan probably already thought he was sketchy, but the whole active gaslighting campaign was a little surprising. They realize that he kinda benefited a lot from a lot of Sith plots and they still probably don’t think he’s a Sith but Obi-Wan is definitely starting to think he’s working with one.

"Okay, we're already bugging Gunray, should we bug Palpatine just to be safe?"

They get away with a lot of slicing because Anakin is a technical genius from twenty years in the future.

The reasons they're so good at Taking Over Hutt Space: 1. They know parts of the future. 2. They have superpowers and FAR less reason to not use them, now that their actions aren't going to reflect on the Republic. 3. They have Cody and Rex, who are two of the greatest military minds in the galaxy, and know EXACTLY how to wage a war that covers a solid third of the galaxy, starting from a position of relative weakness. 4. Anakin's charisma is scary high, and his knowledge of slave culture means they gain a lot of trust from the people they free, and they just... keep acquiring volunteers for the army they didn't plan to have. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He thinks they might have started a cult?

In his defense, Dooku sort of started a cult, and Komari got kidnapped by a cult, brainwashed into joining it properly, and then took it over as head figure of said cult. It's practically tradition!

Comics Vader is the central figure of like three different cults, it was really just inevitable.

Anakin: Aw, don't worry master, it's not a cult, it's a revolution! Ahsoka: They're worshiping him, though. Anakin: ...it's still a revolution! Just... with some misunderstandings.

Also, if they got wind of people trying to keep people from being able to leave and other culty stuff like that, they’d probably put a stop to it pretty damn quick.

Names! Time for names. As per usual, it's easiest to keep track of Obi-Wan's alternate Older Self by just calling him Ben.

Darth Ben.

Ahsoka: You should be Darth Boring. Obi-Wan: I can still make you run laps, you know.

Anakin: The Force is telling me to call myself Darth Vader. Obi-Wan: ...why? Anakin: I dunno, but it sounds cool, I'll run with it.

Someone: Ben has all the answers; we shouldn’t question him, ever. Ben: One time I lost a planet, and a five-year-old found it for me.

More options: Going with the "evil word with the prefix 'in' chopped off" that we get with Sidious and Vader: Darth Surrectus (as in insurrection) Just random Latin words: Darth Temporus (time) Darth Commenticius (fake)

Anyway, back to Nonsense:

Maul goes after young Obi early, because the Fake Sith are really invested in this one random Padawan (Sidious is saying he might be a cousin of the false Sith Master? They do look similar enough) so someone needs to investigate. Naturally, Anakin shows up with some wild screeching to fight Maul, and when someone questions why he got involved it gets very "Kenobi is MINE!" and like. Okay. So.

Anakin means it in a very Sith "to toy with" and "to torture" way, or the ‘my chosen opponent!’ way, just the same kind of Obsession as Maul had with Obi-Wan in the original timeline. Unfortunately, Anakin’s a weird-ass person who flirts with Young Obi against his own better judgement, so there's some awkward "Like... your boyfriend?" from young Obi. Anakin just screeches in SOME emotion that nobody wants to interpret, and couldn't even if they wanted to, and starts whacking away at Maul again.

(Anakin hasn't explained the "you look exactly like my dad, sorry, it's just too weird" thing yet, and he is HAVING MANY REGRETS.)

There's definitely at least one instance where a person asks Anakin if he's planning on dating That One Jedi Twink, or at least banging out the tension. At that point in time, Anakin doesn't actually know who the fuck they're talking about, because "Obi-Wan + Twink = Does Not Compute" for dear, dense Ani, and instead he just ends up ranting about how he is LOYAL TO THE MEMORY OF HIS LATE WIFE, how DARE anyone so much as INSINUATE that he would TARNISH HER PERFECT MEMORY and UNWAVERING KINDNESS and WHOLESOME BEING, and the person who asked doesn't end up lightsabered but they do end up with a LOT to tell whoever they're reporting to.

Young Obi-Wan definitely hears Anakin mutter the phrase “something to discuss with my therapist later” a few times, and he’s a little bewildered because darksiders definitely don’t seem like the type of people to go to therapy. They’re the type of people to need therapy, sure, but not the type to go to therapy.

I think it would be very fun for Young Obi to continue sighing over Anakin (who's pretending to be fine with it and even flirting back because he's in too deep to stop and hasn't worked up the courage to explain the elephant in the room) while Anakin is covered in grease and infodumping while having a slightly manic hyperfocus on engine repairs while the two of them Somehow got stranded together in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (it's Plagueis's doing, he finds the interactions between THESE two in particular to be the most informative regarding the fake Sith).

Anakin, at some point while stranded with young Obi-Wan, and having actually started unpacking some stuff in therapy, though he’s def still got a ways to go: I’m pretty sure Ben cares about me. He acts like he cares, like he’ll do stuff like put extra blankets in my quarters in the spaceship because I get cold real easily or track down those droid parts I need for a project and he always has my back in a fight but y’know it’d be nice to hear him say he loves me once in a while. Especially because we kinda had a rough start and idk I don’t think he wanted me around at first.

And uh. Obi-Wan definitely relates to that a bit too much, y’know?

I want to say that Young Obi ends up mentioning All That to one of the clones or Ahsoka later, because they seem probably invested in Anakin's well-being, even if Ben is, well, a Sith, so Obi-Wan's a little worried the man's affection really is fake, but at least Ahsoka...

(Ironic, given what Anakin's actual eventual Sith would-be-Master was like.)

Young Obi mentions Anakin’s most recent rant to Ahsoka, and she just goes "Wait, is that why Skyguy likes to sit by the throne and get called pet names?" "Uh... I don't... know... but it sounds like all of you have a LOT to unpack there, Miss Apprentice."

Later on: "Master Kenobi, you need to tell Skyguy you love him 'cause apparently he's been having a lot of emotions about you not telling him you care and he's been talking to mini-you about it whenever they get stuck together and--"

Young Obi-Wan is just constantly the "Now we don't have time to unpack all of that" John Mulaney gif. Anakin in particular is a mess, and young Obi-Wan slowly goes from "I want to date that" to "I want to study that" about him.

Obi-Wan gets stuck somewhere with Ben, tries to small talk, gets on the topic of Vader, and spills the drama. He gets an awkward “Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”

It’s followed by a fairly frustrated “I try, but Anakin refuses to communicate his needs to me, and it feels like I’m always falling short.”

At least one member of the group is in therapy, probably all of them, but they’re still using young Obi as a sounding board for all this stuff. On the bright side, this is probably good for impressing the importance of good communication on Obi-Wan.

Good for Obi-Wan! And... whatever Padawan he eventually has.

As for baby Anakin, who is approximately age four, I want to go with "Anakin decides to be his own uncle, and Shmi just rolls with it because fuck it, she’s not a slave anymore, and a Fake Sith is a solid defense against anyone trying to re-enslave them."

[This is a backstory I've had them use before (see here and here).]

Seeing Big Ani and Little Ani in the same space might be what finally pings the "oh shit, that's future me" thing for Obi-Wan... you know, if he’s ever allowed close enough to see Little Ani in the first place.

Little Ani stays with the fake-Sith and is sorta jointly trained by all of them, and young Obi-Wan teaches little 'Soka at the Temple. Ani and 'Soka still end up friends somehow, but it is fairly different.

Every time little Ani addresses Old Obi as "Dad," it's just like ten kinds of awkward. The one time someone tried to explain that Ben wasn't his new dad, Shmi glared them down. She is of the opinion that, all the gods be damned, Ani deserves to refer to the most mature man in his life, who raised another him in another timeline already, as a father.

Ani doesn't NEED a father, Shmi herself is more than enough, but he does deserve to have this if he wants it.

An alternative conclusion to the time travel is uh. So the Mandalorians are genetically identical (give or take a hair gene) and really resemble Jango Fett, though whether anyone notices that is up in the air. Then the three ‘Sith’ (two fake Sith and their morality chain tag-along) have three younger, identical copies show up….

It could be really weird cloning shenanigans. Now, it makes no sense that they’d make clones, and stagger their production like that, and leave them as babies on various planets for Jedi to find. IDK what reasons Obi-Wan would come up with for that, but it’s a fun little detour before he gets to time travel.

There's a really painful moment (for the audience, who know about canon Vader) where someone tries to convince Ahsoka to leave the Sith and she's just like "no way, they'd never hurt me!” Then she clarifies that “someone has to keep them from doing stupid Sith shit whenever they get bored, you know?"

A bunch of Jedi probably think she’s delusional, but the few that have seen her get into trouble that is legitimately too much for her, which isn't often, have then seen Anakin show up like the devil himself to save her, and it's like. Oh. This is why she isn't scared of them hurting her.

We’ve discussed how Anakin does get concerningly in character with the fake Sith thing. However, Anakin and Ahsoka are, just once in a while, surprised by how Ben gets sometimes when playing the bad guy.

After all, he stabbed a dude with a fork and threatened to eat him during his time as Hardeen…

He has the same dramatic streak as all the rest of the lineage. He can be vindictive and creepy and scary as fuck.

HOWEVER:

Obi-Wan: I know I'm supposed to be playing at evil right now, but how do we feel about me making that evil a little... fruity? Ahsoka: Fruity, master? Anakin, who knows where this is going: [buries face in hands] Obi-Wan: You know, the... [limp wrist] Ahsoka: ... Obi-Wan: I mean, I'm already bisexual and well-groomed, I can play it up.

What’s the point of being evil if you can’t be flamboyant?

Anyway, I had to put in a lot of thought for what to do with Rex and Cody, because there's a solid place for them in terms of strategy, but it doesn't do much to give them independent narrative arcs, and 'young Obi-Wan has a crush' isn't much of an arc, you know?

So, basic info first: Cody, Rex, and Anakin all hold the rank of General in this AU because, like... who else is gonna. Ahsoka remains a commander because everyone declares her Baby, and also to keep up the "I'm a morality chain" ruse.

Cody maintains a very stern and unyielding public persona, but the second they're behind closed doors, he's roughhousing with his little brother.

Rex has some fun pretending to be a sadist whenever he and Anakin have to team up, because hamming it up as an evil bastard in front of Jedi is actually really fun... but usually, he's a competent fucking professional.

Because here's the thing: someone has to be.

They both kind of hate the army they've gotten, because these people don't even have proper trigger discipline, let alone any actual discipline.

This army? Tragic. They hate it. Give them the clones.

They have to be drill sergeants for months before they have anything worth sending onto the field.

I think that might be how/when they end up reaching out to Jango. Like, the first inroad is absolutely "we're your clones from the future and you were a Shit Dad so you owe us," but then they actually talk him around into letting the Fake Sith hire him. He brings along all the Mandalorians he can get to answer his calls, and on suggestion from Those Mando Twins, joins the army Ben doesn't even want.

Darth Boring doesn't want an army! Unfortunately, Cody thinks that's stupid as hell, and is overruling Ben so they can actually work on this 'cleaning up the galaxy of slavery' thing with actual resources.

Cody and Rex are super competent, and it shows in their horrified disdain for the state of their troops.

Rex: Fucking natborns. Anyone who isn't in the know: What's a natborn? Rex: [leaves without answering] People: WHAT'S A NATBORN???

(I'm assuming that the word smush is harder to parse in Basic.)

I think young Obi-Wan's new crush on Cody should also be unrequited. Cody's just like... bemused. Very "Okay, then, that sure is an Affection you've decided on."

Cody and Anakin both: Sorry, it’d just be too weird. Obi-Wan: Why would it be too weird? Cody and Anakin: Reasons.

Rex has to deal with the "whyyyyy" from both his brother and his (former?) General.

Young Obi-Wan just likes cute boys that fight good! Is that so wrong???

Ahsoka: So since we're not officially Jedi anymore-- Obi-Wan: We're still Je-- Ahsoka: Can we date? Can I date now? I want to date someone before we go back to the Code. It's a classic life experience for most teenage girls, and I want to Have That Experience before we're back at the Temple. Obi-Wan: You're not... you can date, Ahsoka, that's not actually banned by the Code. I mean, you'd have to keep it casual, but-- Ahsoka: I CAN DATE!!!

(Great priorities, Ahsoka.)

An idea I'm toying with is that one of the clones ends up Legally Engaged to Satine for political reasons, and young Obi-Wan is just like ???? because not only can he not date the hot boys, but one of said hot boys has become Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

Young Obi-Wan is suffering, and Quinlan is the worst friend ever because Quinlan is laughing at him.

There is obviously the question of

"How would Satine ever end up agreeing to that, given what their public personas are like and all that? She puts duty ahead of personal feelings but all indications are that it’s a terrible decision both ways." (as stated by Tia)

Which, yes, I forgot to actually say that I was imagining Jango had declared "those twins" his heirs after telling people they were his younger* cousins. Because reasons.

* Jango is about 27 when they land in the past, and I’m going to say the accelerated aging ended after hitting physically twenty because no, I don’t want to deal with that. As far as anyone knows, Cody and Rex are about five years younger than Jango. They’re less than year apart, which isn’t very visible, and most people assume they’re identical twins (except Rex’s hair), and that Cody just looks slightly older because of the scar.

Darth Boring had convinced Satine that the way to keeping Mandalore peaceful was to work with Jango (because Darth Boring, which is not his actual title but it is what Ahsoka insists on calling him in private, has a vested interest in keeping Mandalore and all interested parties calm), and he... maybe accidentally set up a political marriage between her and one of the clones.

It wasn't on purpose! Satine never married in his timeline, okay, he didn't expect her to ever get married here, either! He didn't even suggest it! This just happened!

(I want to say that Cody would be more competent at having a political marriage? But IDK.)

Do I do the Satine thing? It has potential, but also it's a bit of a cop-out. Do I have Cody be a diplomatic representative for their pseudo-Sith empire? He could be, but I think he'd hate it. Do I have Rex date one the Chaos Entities (Anakin or Ahsoka), or is that too repetitive with my other works? THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Part of me wants Quinlan to get a crush on Cody, and the crush gets bigger specifically in response to the fact that Cody refuses to take him seriously and/or just doesn't give him the time of day.

Based on their one interaction in TCW, they probably let get along ok. Cody maybe likes him back, buuuuuuut internally he's just a little "you were tolerable at almost-forty; early twenties you is obnoxious."

Just imagine the absolutely puppyish attempts at gaining approval and Impressing The Hot Mando General. Quinlan keeps having vague daydreams of seducing someone to the side of the Light. He really leans into the bodice ripper fantasies of saving someone evil with the power of love! (And also the power of really good sex.)

Bant looks at Quin and Obi and wants to throw them both into the nearest pond because they're idiots, but on this topic they are the same flavor of idiot. She considers calling up Reeft and Garen to help her knock some sense into them.

Quinlan: Can I volunteer to go undercover to the Sith? The Council: No. Quinlan: ...what if I-- The Council: No.

Tholme tries to get Qui-Gon to commiserate over their Padawans getting obsessed with Hot Sith Boys, but Qui-Gon just finds the whole thing funny. He knows from the chats he has with Ben that Anakin feels so completely, utterly, incredibly awkward about all of this.

(Ben continues to hold to "Anakin brought this on himself.")

(Ben also “kidnaps” Qui-Gon a lot.)

Also, hey, at least Quinlan isn’t actually into hot Sith boys! He’s into hot Sith minions which is... probably a step up. At least Cody’s not a Sith himself!

It's a step in some direction but Tholme has no idea which one.

(Quinlan sees Cody in dress uniform once and just keeps the mental image for Ages. It’s in his dreams. Sometimes said dreams overflow to Tholme via Force Mind Magic and Quinlan wakes up to someone smacking his face with a pillow.)

Arguably, Quin's also a lot more romantic about his crush than Obi-Wan is, in this case. Quinlan: I want to save him... Obi-Wan: Hey, hey, cute boy. Look at me. Let’s bang.

Cody: There are currently two future Jedi generals having some form of absurd romantic fixation in my direction. I don't know how to feel about this. Rex: Bed them. Cody: ...I'm not saying that's not eventually an option, but one of them is the younger Kenobi, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Rex: Pat him on the head like a tooka and then bed his friend, it'll be funny.

I think the Quinlan thing and also general exasperation of leading an absolutely useless army can function pretty solidly as the basis for Cody, but I have another idea for Rex now.

Komari is currently brainwashed in a cult, yes? So.

I keep bouncing around back and forth on what to do with Rex, but part of me suddenly really likes the idea of, after Team Fake Sith finds and dissolves the cult (as one does), and takes Komari into custody (because she's dangerous and deeply unwell), Rex kind of ends up her touchstone to being a decent person. He’s not a morality chain, and it’s not really a redeemed-through-love thing, just This Is A Solid Dude who doesn't pity her or thinks she's irredeemable (however you choose to define such a thing), but actually relates to the kind of conditions living like that can involve, and just kind of...

I don’t know. I think Rex's arc in this AU could be very heavily grounded in something to the effect of "You're not the worst darksider I've met. You're not the only person who was in a cult. You're not even the only former Jedi I know that's committed awful, horrible crimes. My question is just this: What are you going to do moving forward?"

Later Anakin: Wait, who do we know that was in a cult? Rex: What did you think Kamino was?

(Rex isn't as chill as he'd like her to think, but he's trying, and she's fairly reliant on the Force to understand emotions, and is currently in nullifying cuffs, so he can bluff.)

Komari needs someone solid and dependable to rely on for at least conversation, and I think Rex needs to feel needed.

I’m not sure if it’d be romance or friendship, but I think there's a solid basis to work with, potentially.

Per Tia:

One thing about Rex and shipping is like. If you want to do Rexwalker again that's fine, but if you're worried about repetitiveness but still want to like. Ship him in a non-political-convenience way. Rexsoka here actually would be different than your other stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I can make it work because Ahsoka thematically fits very much into a little sister shaped hole here? She feels younger than in other works, despite not actually being younger than she is in, say, Commander Buir. In those other fics, she has some time alone to function and prove herself independently of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

I usually pluck Ahsoka out at sixteen if I'm pulling her from TCW, so she's got most of her competence but hasn't gotten quite all the trauma yet. Commander Buir, in particular, also has baby-shaped Anakin for contrast.

That said, I can see a decent source of narrative conflict in her wanting to experiment with romance and all that, and Anakin trying to tell her she's too young.

A year into this whole time-travel mess, she wants to give the dating thing a shot, and it spirals into "You were only two years older than me when you got married!"

I think I could build a plot out of Ahsoka wanting to do these things, and Anakin as an audience insert not quite processing that she's old enough to make these decisions. If she's choosing to date Rex, whose age works out as being close to hers when one takes into account Kamino fuckery, and whom she trusts absolutely, it’s arguably extra weird for Anakin to be upset with it.

"Senator Amidala was five years older than you, and you married her when you were nineteen and had only really known her for a week! I can go on a date with a guy we both know is one of the most trustworthy people alive if I want, Skyguy!"

I can definitely see Ahsoka getting annoyed with Anakin being overbearing and controlling at some point before that unrelated to romance, too. It’s not exactly a new fault of his.

My god, just imagine someone snidely asking Anakin "where's your little shadow?" and Anakin, being Himself and also a Fake Sith, has an emotional breakdown about how Ahsoka yelled at him for micromanaging her and not trusting her to make her own decisions in life and so she got herself a multi-month solo mission from Ben that Anakin isn't allowed to know any details about, and--

It's another one of those "oh, you have PROBLEMS problems with your mental health" incidents for the Jedi to add to the file, because Anakin having emotionally charged rants about his issues at seemingly terrible times is how they get a lot of information.

Some of the rants are planned.

Many of them, actually.

They want the Jedi to know these things.

Just, well. Anakin.

He really is a little Like That.

On that note, I'm low-key imagining that Anakin gets put on mood stabilizers by the therapist in this context, and he's doing good! He's handling his issues! He's--been captured with Obi-Wan the Younger again and his medication was confiscated.

Anakin is... not great. He's a little out of practice managing his unmedicated self, and when adding withdrawal symptoms onto that... poor Anakin.

(Poor Obi-Wan.)

I think it would be best if Anakin makes a bunch of ominous blustery comments at their captors about how they won't like what's coming to them if they take his belongings (AKA the fanny pack that has his backup pills), and then Obi-Wan just gets to watch Anakin get more and more erratic, because like. Yes, Anakin is using the Force to compensate, but unfortunately he's mostly cut off, and the stress of the situation is pushing him away from depression and into the beginnings of a manic episode.

Anakin is aware of his issues to the point where he's mostly managing, and he keeps asking Obi-Wan "would it make sense for me to [slightly deranged, very impulsive action]," and Obi-Wan realizes he's being the morality sounding board for the Hot Sith because ??? reasons?????

Eventually, Anakin does flop back in bed and dramatically throws his arm over his eyes, and says he needs his meds back, he's absolutely going to lose it, and Obi-Wan tentatively asks what kind of medication. There are levels to worry about. Mild allergy medication is one thing, but heart medication that needs to be taken every four hours is another, you know? He wants to know how much panic is appropriate.

Anakin lets him know that it's Psychiatric In Nature. Obi-Wan suddenly realizes that he really, really, really doesn't want to know what a properly erratic, unmedicated Anakin is like.

(An unmedicated Anakin really isn't nearly as bad as Obi-Wan fears. Anakin's been dealing with this for a while, and knows what his issues are and some of how to deal with them. He'd need to be running on no sleep and higher levels of stress, or to have been drugged with something meant to increase his aggression, to really lose his shit and do something worthy of Vader. RotS levels of stress and sleep deprivation is required to pull RotS levels of manic paranoid delusion.)

Tia asked:

How long does it take the Jedi in general to catch on to how like. They have opportunities. But these Sith never seem to harm any Jedi. And it’s not just like, the past timeline parts of the disaster lineage. They probably get opportunities to hurt other Jedi. Ones that are less skilled at saber work. And more importantly ones that they don’t seem weirdly interested in."

I'm not sure, really. The Jedi don't spend as much time in the Outer Rim as they could, and that's where the Team operates, so actually running into them by accident is unlikely for anyone other than Shadows.

Fortunately, it's really easy to toy with Shadows with the excuse of "I want to see how long it takes before you Fall with us."

I do want like... okay. Here’s the mental image:

Qui-Gon calls them out on being Fake Sith pretty quickly, so Ben just sort of eyes him, dramatically, and orders out "Leave us" to all non-team people. The threat of torture is implied but not stated. He gestures with wine to keep in character. He definitely makes sure Young Obi-Wan is ushered out, so it's just five time travelers, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ahsoka's immortal force birb.

"...so, what's the reason for the farce, Obi-Wan?" "How in all the hells did you figure it out so quickly?"

(Qui-Gon cheated a bit. He could feel the broken training bond that was never properly severed due to Traumatic Death Of A Master on Ben's end)

Ben didn't realize he'd feel it! Young Obi-Wan can't feel his older self or a training bond with Anakin or Ahsoka, so why could Qui-Gon?

IDK if there would be anything on the level of crying and hugging it out, but I think it would be very funny if, every time young Obi and Anakin are getting captured by pirates or something, Ben and Qui-Gon are just having a nice afternoon tea and checking their watches to see if their respective walking bundles of neuroses are done with their adventure yet.

The Council is So Done, because Qui-Gon continues to insist that they're Not That Bad, but every time anyone other than Qui-Gon brings up the friendship, Ben laughs and makes a comment about how absolutely gullible Master Jinn is.

Obi-Wan is skeptical of his own experiences with Anakin, at least, if only because he's skeptical about Anakin's everything.

"I don't know if Vader is telling me the truth. I don't know if he's telling himself the truth. I don't think he's a great source of information even when he thinks he's being honest."

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan the full and complete truth, and Obi-Wan would worriedly put a hand to his forehead and start doing tests for hallucinations and paranoid delusions. In his defense, this is a very reasonable assumption to make with an individual like Anakin. It's just also not accurate, this time. I don’t know if Anakin hallucinates in canon without a weird inciting incident like Force Nonsense or getting drugged by the enemy, but paranoid delusion is pretty much all of RotS.

"I’m your time-traveling padawan who’s pretending to be a Sith to catch some other Sith who’re going to start a galactic civil war and those Mandalorians you like are from a clone army based on a template of Jango Fett made to serve the Jedi (because that’s totally something he’d sign up for), and one of the Sith is your grandmaster but he doesn’t seem to have fallen yet, it’s probably fine," is hard to believe.

Honestly, even if he seemed stable before saying that, which he doesn’t, it’s all real far fetched. There's a lot going on and Obi-Wan wouldn't even begin to believe it without evidence.

I've had it in my head that he and Bant and Quinlan have been gossiping about the mess for months if not years about these idiots, and at one point it became common knowledge that Ben was a Kenobi, and Bant convinced them (since the two were among the most likely in the entire Order to encounter the Fake Sith) to get a DNA sample, probably hair or blood since that's easiest so they can figure out HOW these two are related, if they are, and then there's a whole big thing.

Bant: No, no, this must be contaminated, it's coming up as Obi-Wan! Are you sure you didn't accidentally grab some of your own hairs? I know it's a little long for most of your hair, but the braid-- Quinlan: Wait, they keep claiming stuff about cloning, right? Maybe someone's a clone? Check for artificial telomeres! Bant: ...okay, so, there aren't any artificial telomeres, but the ones from apparently-Ben are... a lot shorter... um... I don't know what to do with this. It's like I have two samples from the same person, twenty years apart. Quinlan: Obi-Wan, what's that face? Why are you-- Obi-Wan: Vader told me he was a time-traveler. I thought it was the fever talking, but...

That’s how he finds out that Ben is future-him before finding out about how he’s not evil!

"Master Jinn... I think... I think the Sith controlling the Outer Rim is me from the future." "Oh, you finally figured it out?" "I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE."

Obi-Wan, after a few hours of dazed realization, runs screaming to Quinlan and Bant like 'GUYS GUYS THIS EXPLAINS WHY VADER KEPT SAYING IT WAS WEIRD AND THAT I LOOK LIKE HIS MASTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE DATING HIS DAD.'

You know, the important stuff.

I think Qui-Gon tells him that Ben isn't evil because, like, That Sure Is A Crisis Obi-Wan's Having. He could hold off for shits and giggles, sure, but Obi-Wan’s on the edge of something Really Concerning, mentally. Best help calm him down on at least one or two things.

Obi-Wan’s maybe still a little skeptical until he confronts them over it. Because their Sith act was real good and also like. Maybe Qui-Gon just wants to believe the best of his Padawan, y’know?

Quinlan runs into Ben before Obi-Wan does, after this whole mess, and gets to observe as money changes hands and people act like sore winners about bets made for When Does Obi-Wan Figure It Out.

Anakin was saying 'soon' because he really didn't think the fever-fueled rant would be discounted as easily as it was.

Cody was of the opinion that it would take at least a few more years since they're actually pretty damn good at this whole schtick.

Quinlan: Wow, he's... going to be really disappointed that you have such a low opinion of his intelligence. Cody, gesturing at Ben: Experience. Darth Ben: ಠ_ಠ

Cody just rattles off some of the Extremely Stupid Shit that Ben's done in their time working together.

Rex cheerily offers up "You didn't even realize General Skywalker was married, sir! And they weren't subtle!" "I knew they were together, I just didn--" "Everyone knew they were together, sir. Everyone."

(Rex had the lowest opinion of their deductive capabilities. He claims it would have taken until Baby Ahsoka showed up at the Jedi Temple.)

-Once Obi-Wan accepts that they're decent people after all- Obi-Wan: Wow, Anakin, you're real good at acting unhinged! Anakin: Haha. Yeah. Thanks?

[broadwayloserstuff]

Jason Dean x Female! Reader Smut

So, y’all this is the third fic I’ve written today and I’m close to tears because people actually are liking my posts and I never feel this appreciated??? Like, y’all are amazing. Anyways, uh yeah I got a request for Jason Dean. Love the man tbh. It was never specified for what gender the reader is but I only have experience with AFAB anatomy. If the anon requester wanted a male reader, just send me an ask for a male reader and I’ll write it! So yeah this contains smut prompt 30 btw. WARNINGS: Smut, swearing, mentions of a gun and murder, and female reader being on the pill. So pretty much the usual JD shit. I’m pretty sure that’s it. As usual, if I missed something, feel free to let me know! MINORS DON’T INTERACT! JD looked down at the (your hair color) haired girl on his chest. Her (your eye color) eyes were focused on the movie that was playing. JD, however, could care less about the movie. After all, you could watch it as many times as you wanted. He was focused on her beauty. Y/N’s perfect lips were soft as velvet and he knew every part of her was absolute perfection. Anyone who thought otherwise met the business end of his gun. “Hey, darling,” he called. Y/N looked up into his dark brown eyes. “Hm?” she questioned. JD gave her his signature lopsided smile, “You’re so beautiful, my love.” Y/N lightly blushed. She may have gotten used to he boyfriend’s flirtatious manner but he still managed to fluster her.  Y/N had gotten used to a lot of her boyfriend’s habits over the last several months. She was no stranger to his bizarre hobby of murdering the horrible teens and college kids in Westerburg. She knew all about him murdering Heather Chandler, Kurt Kelly, and Ram Sweeney. Lately, he had killed a college sophomore who had actively preyed on high school freshman girls. JD often made good points on why he had killed his victims. Y/N, while she didn’t support it, still loved him.  She had also adjusted to JD’s clinginess. The man always had a hand on her waist or around her shoulder. He was afraid she’d up and leave him, just like his mother had done to him. Despite the late night phone calls where Y/N would constantly reassure JD that she would never leave him, he still refused to believe it. JD had moved Y/N so she now sat in his lap, her back against his chest as he peppered sweet kisses up and down her neck. Occasionally, he’d nibble at a spot then smirk as he felt Y/N tense up or her breathing begin to hitch. The both of them knew what he was trying to do and they both knew Y/N would give into him.  After a few more minutes of the movie, Y/N reached for the remote and shut the TV off. She let JD do what he wanted. After all, he was good in bed and Y/N knew damn well she wouldn’t be able to walk after tonight. She felt JD smirk against her neck as he sucked a hickey into her skin. Y/N sighed in pleasure and turned to meet his lips. As usual, his lips tasted like smoke and cigarettes. He bit her bottom lip, asking for entrance. Y/N playfully denied, wanting to tease him. JD didn’t seem to worry about this, however, because within a second he had shrugged out of his trench coat and t-shirt. Y/N took a moment to look at him. While he wasn’t ripped by any means, he definitely had some muscle but his lanky exterior suited his personality perfectly. Their lips met again, JD flipping them so he was on top. He pulled off the shirt Y/N wore and went back down on her, sucking even more hickeys and love bites into her skin, marking her as his.  All the while, Y/N ran her fingers through his raven black hair. She occasionally tugged at his hair, emitting a growl from JD. One hand held her neck while the other rested on Y/N’s waist. After a few minutes, JD pulled back and quickly examined his flustered girlfriend. He seemed to decide she was marked up enough at the moment and quickly got busy. JD yanked down the leggings Y/N wore and her panties in one swift move, tossing her bottoms off to the side. JD had seemingly decided to leave Y/N’s bra on, he liked her without her bra but in the moment, he had decided to leave it on.  He chuckled at her wetness, “All for me, doll? I’m honored.” Y/N bit her lip, trying to contain a beg. JD seemed to sense this and suddenly thrusted two fingers inside. Y/N let out a moan. “God, JD!” she cried. His free hand rubbed her clit slowly. After a few minutes, Y/N’s moans had gotten louder and she had began to beg. “P-please go faster, Jason,” she whined. He smirked at how bad she wanted him now. JD scissored his fingers and Y/N quickly reached her orgasm. JD let her ride out her high before pulling his fingers out and licking them, all while maintaining eye contact. He quickly yanked down his gray sweatpants and boxers. “You on the pill?” he quickly asked. Y/N hastily nodded and moaned as JD pushed himself in. JD let out a groan himself, “Fuck, always so tight, Y/N.” She only whined at his words as she adjusted to his size. JD pressed a kiss to her forehead as she said, “You can start moving now.” And boy did he. JD quickly picked up his pace and Y/N was screaming in no time. “JD, Jason, holy fuck!” JD picked up one of her legs and put it over his shoulder. By now, Y/N couldn’t even form coherent sentences. All she could manage were moans and broken words. She started clenching around JD’s dick and he leaned down, his head knocking against hers.  “Tell me you love me,” he ordered between pants. Y/N looked at him. “I love you, JD. I love you so much.”  With that, JD came and so did Y/N. The couple laid there for a few minutes, catching their breath. JD pulled out and yanked on his boxers and Y/N sleepily pulled on her panties. The couple curled up beneath a blanket, JD’s arms wrapped around Y/N’s waist.  Before Y/N fell asleep, JD kissed the top of her head and mumbled, “Don’t forget that you belong to me.” She sleepily replied, “Mm hmm.” JD seemed content with that and made himself comfortable and the couple slowly drifted off to dreamland.

[mellarkably]

🚨 NHIE SPOILERS BELOW 🚨

first of all. that was a crazy ass season. so much happened and i can barely keep up or remember. so while this probably won't be a coherent or well worded recap, yhat defintely won't go over everything that i just watched for the past six hours, it'll just be my thoughts for now.

personally, i really liked the kamala plot and her struggle in the workplace. it was probably one of my favorite parts of the season. i'm not sure if kamala will be ditching prashant for mr. kulkarni but if she does i wouldn't be shocked. considering how prashant played into the whole workplace problem. also rip steve lol who remembers him. homie got done dirty.

now speaking of devi. there were many things she did this season that were not at all good or rational. however, i do like the fact that they delved more into her grief, and overall she actually seemed to develop over the season which made me happy. there are aspects of her grieving process that kinda felt unanswered, but hey, it is what it is. for what it's worth, im happy with the amount of growth she had over ten episodes. i actually felt like giving devi a hug so many times towards the end. and maitreyi killed it as always.

regarding the new kids! malcolm, well, i honestly kinda have intense apathy towards him as a character. he was cool at the start, a dick at the end—so yeah, i feel like he served his purpose overall. i felt extremely bad for oliver the entire time. and aneesa! she was the coolest addition they could honestly have had to the team. she's fun, charming, and fits in very well. i felt extreme sympathy for her ed and im glad they put a hotline at the end of those episodes. she's a great girl.

i'm very glad they gave paxton more of a well fleshed out personality this season. he seemed much more personable overall. although i felt like his episode at times fell a bit flat or felt too preachy regarding the whole hot people can be smart too concept, it was overall a fantastic episode and gigi hadid was a great choice as narrator. also loved the little switch to ben's pov when andy steps in. that was funny. i also liked the fact that they went into his ethnicity!

regarding his romantic feelings for devi though. i feel like i can't understand? like does he like her? does he not? is he embarassed of her? is he not? i failed to understand where he was most of the time. the mixed signals, like. paxton. i like you, but huh? well, to be fair, the romance in devi's life this season was pretty much a rollercoaster ride anyways so. i do love paxton's obijan though. great guy. we didn't get enough of rebecca though!

out of the two besties, i honestly liked fab's story a lot more. it felt relatable, that whole feeling of not being able to fit in as a new sapphic. and i adore fab and eve. i'm glad they didnt make their relationship too cookie cutter.

eleanor's subplot was alright. again, it was really hard to kinda, if i put this blatantly, give a fuck about malcolm and whatever their relationship was. (loved tyler alveraz's performance though) but i liked her talking with her stepmom sharon. i wish they spent more time on that rather than malcolm but again, they don't have much time to waste.

i loved nalini's subplots. all of them. she was honestly one of my fav characters this season, as well as devi's grandma. we got to delve into the indian culture more too, so that was very cool. her relationship with dr. jackson was also nice for the short time they had with each other. i didn't expect them to breakup, i kinda just expected devi to learn to be okay with her mother moving on, but then again, i also agree that it felt a little fast. i loved the flashbacks with mohan too.

i feel like i wanna save ben and benvi for last because i have too much to say. it was an absolute rollercoaster ride to be a team ben while watching this season. i'm a bit dissapointed that we didn't get any individual plot regarding him, stuff that didn't have to do with girls, but i get why. he got that in s1, and it was paxton's turn to shine.

regarding the whole ben and aneesa thing; honestly, i think they're cute. i love aneesa and i love ben. i just want him to be happy. but it's clear he still has feelings for devi and he doesn't really know what he wants, which sucks for everyone involved. i think that he just assumed that devi liked paxton more than him, that he was her second choice (which honestly, considering the things that transpired, it's not very hard to see why he though that, and he was clearly hurt with her clear choice of paxton over him on multiple occassions) but oh well.

i feel like ben was a catalyst for a lot of the things devi needed to do. like apologize to aneesa, for example. and in that way, they still work well. i loved their banter, whenever we got it. i have hope for them in season 3 (if it happens), considering the way they ended it, but eh. aneesa is also a great girl, so it sucks that this is the direction we're going. but yeah. i am a bit bitter with the dreadf lack of benvi i kinda got this season, but their conversations and the way he helped push her development did make me feel a little better.

as for what team i'm on or whatever, i don't feel like i'm avidly on any team tbh. i'm still lowkey rooting for ben and devi. the reason why i'm not completely getting behind daxton is because i didn't really like what paxton did in episode 10, with the whole not wanting them to be public thing. the entire season felt like he was sending mixed signals. not that i'm saying hes a shitty guy or anything, but yeah. and the reason i'm not completely team ben is because he seems to be teetering between aneesa and devi, so yes, again with the mixed signals. kind of. but the reason i'm still rooting for ben is because i really liked the way they pushed each other, or majorly, he pushed her development, with asking her to apologize, etc. and although him getting together with anessa was not a win for me, a benvi, to relish, i think it helped devi learn to act a little more mature and less territorial.

if i'm being completely honest, i think that devi needed to be single at the end of this season, at least for now. i read the synopsis of episode 10 and was kinda hoping that she'd make that choice, that she'd choose herself, because what she needs isn't a boyfriend. what she needs is just to recover. and i honestly still don't feel like she completely got over her dad's death.

OVERALL THOUGH. this was a much better season than the first one. i feel like they finally got into their groove in terms of acting and comedy. (also trent is the funniest >>>) although i felt like this season was kinda like the first one but on steroids, which at most times was very anxiety inducing to watch, i did like the episodes and i was heavily entertained. go watch it!

i also really need a season 3 so—

[manikas-whims]

My Top Kanej Moments | Shadow & Bone

⚠ show only fans, beware the book spoilers ahead ⚠

obviously all were amazing but here's my personal favorites

1: The Knife Handover

Even watching this scene made me feel like I was intruding on a very private moment 🙈

Kaz is always on guard. Throughout the series, anytime anyone laid a hand on him or inched a hand towards him, he visibly expressed his aversion.

But here in this scene, you can see him not moving away at all when Inej steps closer. He never breaks eye contact, which is something very personal to me. I have many ships who have these "eye-smex" moments. And I love it when two characters are just intensely staring at each other but you can feel the tension between them radiating off of the screen. TOO HOT!

Its also the way she bends down to pull out the second knife and never breaks eye contact as she hands it over to him with a confident smile (top right gif). And how he momentarily smirks to himself when she's gone (top right gif).

Its the way her finger lightly touches his gloved palm before she drops the knife into his hand (top left gif) . THIS MAYBE THEIR FIRST BRIEF MOMENT OF CONTACT. And Kaz didn't even flinch, just watched intently as she left. MOST KANEJ MOMENT 😩

2: The Campfire

Remember Kaz grew up without a mother. As a child, he probably looked-up to his father and then tragically lost him. So he moves to Ketterdam with his brother in hopes of a new beginning. And in one night, everything gets snatched from them. But hey! They're together so its alright and then..he loses his brother as well. Even worse that he has to use him to swim back to the harbour and can't retrieve the body to cremate. He was made to choose between himself and his brother's body :/

After everything that he suffered, in a saintsforsaken city like Ketterdam, no one but Kaz kept himself alive (of course until he met Jesper and Inej, whom he could rely on). So the man has enough reasons to not believe in any higher almighty beings.

Therefore, during this scene when he says: "No saints ever watched over me. Not like you have." YES! IT HITS HARD 😭

3: To Watch & be unable to Act

There were two moments and in both, the agonising expression that he had on his face is everything! It hurts him to watch her hurt and not be able to touch and hold her like Jesper did..to not be able to help..

This can be a good build up for when we get the scene where he carries her in his arms and despite his bad leg, runs to the Ferolind, pushing past Jesper to take her to Nina..(hoping we get that).

4: Kaz detects Inej

The books heavily mention how Inej walks like a ghost (undetected) and how only Kaz knows where she is.

Examples:

“Kaz’s eyes found Inej unerringly in the crowd.”

“Oh, and Inej, don’t ever sneak up on me again.”

«The truth was she’d tried to sneak up on Kaz plenty of times since then. She’d never managed it. It was as if once Kaz had seen her, he’d understood how to keep seeing her.»

That this beautiful detail about them was shown in the show and the first scene about them, makes my heart flutter ♡

5: The Chapel Killing

I really don't need to say much here. In the heat of the moment, Inej didn't reconsider that she was inside a Chapel and just threw the knife to save Kaz. Her first act of taking a life was NOT TO KILL BUT TO PROTECT. She was destined to hunt slavers and save lives (I'm sorry I'm reaching).

But what stands out more is the look on Kaz's face. He is so surprised, he really hadn't expected her to kill. And that too, for HIM. That is the expression of a man who is mentally vowing to gouge out an eyeball for his girl.

And right after, he steps closer to her. He can't hug her so that's what he offers as he tells her "you saved my life".

6: The Winter Fete Bickering

This scene was pure gold.

You ever wonder what do Kanej do when they aren't arguing over serious matters? When they aren't staring intensely or having very deep secluded conversations? THIS! This is what they do. They bicker like an old married couple over trivial things and its just adorable to watch.

Anyways Kaz knowing Inej's size is something very personal to me. But Inej completely disregards his efforts and keeps bringing up that one time he messed up and I find that so entertaining. Serotonin Boost tbh 😆

BONUS

running away from conversations

Gif Credits: myself and @kanejdaily