#she’s like yep I guess this is my stupid angry brother now

[missymurphy1985]

The Writer (part4)

Warnings - Angst

Request? Yep

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton

You woke alone - checking the clock on the dressing table you darted out of bed. 6:45am, Tommy said his driver would be taking you home at 7. You rushed as quickly as your sore thighs would allow you back to your bedroom so no one spotted you run across the landing completely naked.

Pulling your clothes on, gathering your notepads and stuffing them in the small bag you had brought, you turned and nearly jumped out of your skin as a young woman of maybe 22/23 stood in the doorway. You vaguely recognised her as one of the maids who made your tea the night before. She had a strange look in her eyes that made you feel uneasy.

"I believe Mr Shelby has arranged a car for me this morning?" You asked, ignoring her gaze.

"He has. It's outside. He gave me this to pass onto you." She smiled wryly, handing you the envelope. You thanked her, and left the room heading down to the waiting car.

You opened the envelope once you were en route. Two £1 notes fell out, alongside a letter. Your heart froze in your chest as you read it, feeling like a complete fool.

Ms. Y/L/N,

Since you enjoyed being treated as a two-bob whore, I suppose it's only fitting I pay you for your services.

The article can proceed, but I'd prefer if someone with more professionalism could attend next time.

Yours,

T. Shelby

The tears were falling from your eyes as you pulled up outside your apartment. How could you have been so stupid... A millionaire like him shacking up with you? A penniless widow with more debt than you cared to admit to.. trying to make a name for yourself in a man's world. He clearly thought you were nothing more than a whore. You left the money on the back seat and exited the car, your heart shattered as you unlocked your door and stepped inside.

************************************************************

"So how did it go?" David asked as you sat opposite him in his office an hour later.

"Honestly? The interview was difficult. He wouldn't reveal much about himself."

"Laura said you didn't come home last night." Laura was your roommate, she was also dating David. You should have known she'd tell him. He raised an eyebrow at you, smirking.

"The storm." You voice caught in your throat, emotions threatening to spill over. David quickly stood and closed the office door, kneeling in front of you.

"What happened Y/n? Come on, don't cry..." You fell into your big brother's arms and you let yourself cry. The only man you allowed to see you like this. You told him about the night before, in not as much detail, and then the note this morning.

"Fucking asshole... I never should have sent you to him!! This is all my fault... Oh sis I'm so fucking sorry, come here...." He held you tight. "Go home. Run a bath. I'll send Laura over with a bottle of wine. Just get him out of your head. God I sent you right into his filthy little hands didn't I..."

"David this isn't your fault. I wanted it as much as he did okay? He was just so different last night.. he asked me to stay, he put me into his bed, he held me.. then that note. And the money.. the fucking money?! Like a fucking whore!"

"Y/n go home. That's an order. You're not to go back again. I'll send Frank, he can do the article."

"No you won't! This is MY story and I will be the one to tell it! That halfwit doesn't even know which end of the pen to use!"

"He's already demanded someone else, you saw it for yourself. Now go home, I'll let Laura know you're on your way."

************************************************************

It was a week later that you finally felt strong enough to leave the house. Your confidence at an all time low, your heart completely broken, but your cupboards were empty as your soul felt and Laura was away for a few days with family back in Scotland. You had no choice but to face it and go to the store in the next town. Glancing at yourself in the mirror, you took a deep breath and headed out.

Waiting in line, you felt a tap on your shoulder. A dark haired woman with hard but kind eyes stood behind you.

"Are you Y/n?" She asked. You nodded, before quickly realising who she was.

"Polly Gray?" You gasped, and she nodded, pulling you into a huge hug.

"Oh y/n... It's been so long!! My goodness how you've grown!!!" You hugged her back, she'd always been so kind to you as a child knocking about with John. She was the only member of the family that knew you were close to him.

"Come for a drink! The Garrison is only down the street!" She grinned, as you paid for your groceries. You were about to answer before she linked arms with you and was almost frog marching you down the road. To be honest, you didn't mind. She clearly didn't know about your liaison with her nephew a week earlier, and a drink sounded very appealing.

Sitting in the small side room as she went to the bar, you felt yourself relax. She doesn't know, you won't tell her, it's one drink, no harm done.

"Perks of Arthur owning the pub - Peaky women get served at the bar without question!" She grinned, placing a bottle of whiskey and two glasses on the table in front of you. So much of one drink....

You both knocked the first one back quickly, before sipping your second a little slower. She enquired about your life up to now, squeezing your hand gently as you told her about Jack and his death. She smiled as you told her about your work, confessing to her your pen name in the Herald which made her howl with laughter.

"They're always my favourite articles in that newspaper!! I always felt they had a woman's touch to them, so well written! If only you could use your own name eh? Bloody men, ruin everything for us women."

"Yes. Yes they do." You eyes glanced out the window and she noticed them misting up slightly.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Oh nothing, nothing, I'm fine. Just being silly."

"There's a man, isn't there? A new man?"

"Pol..."

"And he's hurt you, hasn't he? I'll rip his balls off... Let me guess, fucked you and fucked you off?"

"Pol, it's fine honestly."

"Your eyes tell me it's not fine y/n."

"It was a silly, drunken mistake. On both parts. It won't happen again."

"No one hurts my y/n and gets away with it. Name." Her voice was forceful now. She was angry, you could see it in her eyes.

"Polly please! It was a one night thing that shouldn't have happened in the first place! Just let it go, okay?"

"Y/n, when my daughter was taken away, you were closest thing I had left. I was heartbroken when you moved away. I can't allow some nasty little shit to break your heart after what you've been through!"

Your resolve was breaking, your patience was being tested, and your emotions were about to spill over, when the door to the room opened and your heart stopped.

"Tommy!!! Look who I found in the store down the street!" Polly exclaimed, and his blue eyes met your watery ones. He smiled, you scowled. Polly looked between the two of you, and you could honestly have heard a pin drop. You gathered your shopping up and stood up, still glaring at Tommy who never took his eyes from yours. You scoffed at him, thanked Polly for the drink, and hurried out the room.

"Oh Thomas... Thomas Shelby you have some fucking explaining to do!" You heard Polly shout from behind you but you didn't stick around to hear anymore.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

[chuuyas--boo]

BIRTHDAY FIC FOR MY BEANNNNN

(short ish?)

An: I APOLOGIZE IF I SLAUGHTER ANYONE'S PERSONALITY ESPECIALLY LUCIAN'S @onesheart101

"Rileyyy~! Wake upp!" Lucian said in a sing-song voice, gently shaking the ginger. Riley blinked, letting her eyes adjust to the light and sat up, looking at the fluffy, white haired boy who was smiling, showing his little fangs. "Happy birthday~!" Riley tilted her head, her ginger hair messy from sleep and hadn't been brushed yet, fell into her face. "Birthday..?" "Did you forget?!" Riley hesitated and nodded. "I never really knew when it was..." "ahh! Don't worry about it!" Lucian grabbed her hands and led her out of the room.

Riley ran her hand through her hair, smoothing it out the best she could without brushing it and looked at Lucian. "What're we-"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY~!" Eddie and George cheered in unison as they both jumped out from behind furniture.

"Yooo! Happy birthday!" Carl chirped, jumping up as well, Eddie shot him a glance as the three boys ran over to Riley and hugged her.

Riley stood between the four; Lucian, Eddie, George and Carl, blushing heavily from embarrassment, surprised anyone would've remembered.

"Wait... where's Al? Do you know where he is?" Riley asked, eyes gleaming with concern.

"Nopeeee!"

"Nu-uh!"

George giggled when Riley's face turned bright red, as hands gently grabbed her waist. "A-Albert!"

Tears started to well in her eyes, not because she was sad, infact it was quite the opposite, she was extremely happy.

"H-hey! What the hell're you crying for? You're gonna ruin the day before we've even done anything if you start crying idiot!"

Riley turned and hugged Albert, who in turn blushed heavily.

"Crying? Hey what's wrong?!"

"Did we do something wrong...?"

"N-no! Ahh, sorry.. It's just I've never had my birthday celebrated before..and didn't expect anyone to remember."

Albert gently wiped the tears running down Riley's cheek and hugged her tightly.

"Shoo! We've gotta decorate!!"

Riley glanced at Lucian and giggled quietly, then went to go change. She changed into a white dress, and brushed out her hair.

❀

Each of the Bros and Lucian took turns doing things with Riley.

Carl played video games with her, George played murder with her, she, Eddie and Lucian had gone outside and ran around and played in the yard, Albert played piano for her,...and now she sat wearing a flower crown in the yard, watching the dogs.

"I haven't seen Henry at all today, that's weird...whatever!" She giggled to herself, knowing Henry had left her, and everyone else alone all day.

Suddenly a darker thought crossed her mind. She hadn't seen any of her family, of course they were dead, but the thought still bothered her.

"Riley...you scared me...it hurt... why'd you do that? It hurt a lot... why'd you kill Lexi and momma, and daddy too...?"

Tears started running down her cheeks, and she started shaking violently, sobbing.

"S-SHUT UP! I HAD TO! THEY WERE GONNA���...I had to..." Riley's voice shook as she spoke, not to anyone in particular, there wasn't actually anyone there.

"You didn't have to do it...Momma could've just stayed in jail, you didn't have to kill Lexi or daddy either...so why'd you do it?"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I HAD TO! I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE!" Riley's hands slowly balled into fists, holding the skirt of her dress in her fists.

"You always have a choice Riley."

"No I don't...they needed to die by my hands, not anyone else's. I had to be the one to do it... or else it would've hurt them more..." Riley's gaze fixed on a pale, ghostly figure deeper in the forest and her heart sank, it was Jack. She'd seen him...or his ghost at least before, but it seemed different, he seemed angry.

"Anyway...Happy birthday." The pale figure slowly faded out of view

"WAIT NO! JACK–" It was too late, the ghostly figure was gone. "god I'm so horrible and stupid..."

"Rileyyy~!.... Riley!"

Riley glanced back to the house, and noticed George standing at the door, wiping her face, she ran back towards the house, the dogs followed her.

"We need y– Heyyy! Why were you crying? Who were you yelling at?

Noticing the resemblance between George and her dead brother, Riley stood there silent, the resemblance was sickening, she loved them but they looked a little too similar.

"I wasn't crying..don't worry about it."

George looked up at her, blue eyes shining with worry but he grabbed her hand "Close your eyes!" Riley sighed, closing her eyes and then the two of them went inside.

"Don't peakkkk!"

"I'm not!"

Riley could hear Eddie's giggle, the one she'd heard so many times before, Eddie whispered something but Riley couldn't make it out, but she heard Albert's name and assumed Eddie was talking to his older brother.

"Open your eyes!"

Riley hesitated for a moment before slowly opening her eyes, once she did she gasped.

"Y-you guys– You guys didn't have to do all this!"

"Tch...Yes we did! It's your birthday, idiot!"

Riley still looked shocked, the entire bottom floor was decorated.

Lucian ran downstairs, carrying a box with holes in it.

Riley choked on her emotions, unable to speak.

Albert walked over to her, using up all his confidence, picked her up and held her close to his chest.

Riley's face flushed deep red as Albert held her.

"Heyyy! Put her downnn! We gotta hug her!"

Albert glanced at George and just rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath and then missed Riley on the cheek. Riley's face turned a darker shade of red and she shut her eyes, flustered.

Letting out a small huff, Albert put Riley down, everyone else ran over and hugged her, Lucian handed her the box, which shook a little.

"You did not...I- no...YOU GUYS DIDN'T, DID YOU?!"

"Hehe~! Open it and find out!"

Riley sat on the floor, with the box on her lap and carefully untied the ribbon, took the top off and gasped. There was a white puppy in the box with a blue ribbon loosely tied around its neck in a bow. Riley grabbed the puppy and hugged it, tears started to slowly toll down her face again, but she wasn't sad anymore.

Unable to speak, Riley say there, hugging the puppy, who licked her.

"I– I don't know what to say...THANK YOUUU!"

The brothers giggled, Albert looked at her fondly. "I'm glad she's happy..."

"I guess you like it huh~?"

Riley nodded. "Hehe~ Good! Marigold and I picked her well then!" Lucian looked proud of himself while Eddie nervously fiddled with his scarf.

Shanon came into the room, looking at Riley worriedly, she had heard Riley yelling outside, but was relieved to see the girl smiling.

"We have some more gifts for you dear!"

Riley looked up at Shanon, shocked. "R-really?!"

"Yep yep! Lots of em!"

❀

The rest of the day felt like a dream, Riley had finally had a proper birthday.

[fakeloveaskblog]

Janus, did you follow up with Remus on that invitation? Or are you too giddy with your new boyfriend?👀👀

(Words: 2578)

 Janus: “Oh yes Remus....I had totally not forgotten because I have been too busy being giddy about Logan. Totally not. I am afraid if I meet up with Remus right now I will simply be so giddy with so much love I will actually explode and die on the spot. But that is a risk I am willing to take!

Janus took a deep breathe. This was the third deep breathe he’d taken in a row and yet he kept being just as nervous. He’d hung out with Remus twice already, simply knocking on his door shouldn’t be making him this anxious. It was stupid. He was stupid.

He gave up on trying to calm down and knocked on the door.

The door opened. His breath hitched and he subconsciously straightened his back to look more alright.

To his surprise it wasn’t Remus that opened. At first glance he could have mistaken it for him. The person- the woman opening looked nearly identical to him after all. Same dark brown hair color, same brown nearly red eyes seeming to pierce into his soul, even the same birthmark above their lip.

Only difference being that her hair was longer, reaching her waist, and she wasn’t as skinny, in turn making her figure more full.

“Who are you?” She asked in a cold tone, it sounded more like a snarl.

“Janus” He reached out his hand “I’m Janus”

She slammed the door shut.

Janus let out a sigh. He’d spent the entire bus ride worrying about how badly Remus would react to seeing him but wow this was even worse. He was just about to go home and sulk when the door swung open again.

“Okay come in” The woman said while dragging him into the living room.

“t-thank you” Janus stammered out.

His cheeks heated up when he locked eyes with Remus who was sitting on the sofa. His friend quickly glanced away and crossed his arms over his chest.

The sofa had been made into a makeshift bed and suitcases laid littered over the floor. The lady sat him down on the couch before slumping over in a newly bought fainting cough. She had on a red robe while Remus had on a pyjamas with an octopus pattern on.

“So my dear eh demented Remus I am here to inform you that there is a giant seamonster in my bathtub so I had to go somewhere else...And I happened to choose this place...for tactical battle reasons!” Janus blurted out.

A weight lifted off his shoulders when Remus shone up into a smile at his made up story. Janus couldn’t help but stare at his sharp teeth. He knew him being obsessed with vampires as a teenager would bite him in the neck one day.

“Want me to kill it?”

Janus looked up from his mouth “What? The uh monster?” He put on his usual charming smile “Well of course darling. You only have to be ready to be eaten to death”

“OH I am ALways ready to be eaten to death. Trust me!”

“He got voted most likely to have a cannibalism kink in 10th grade” The woman added on. She was extravagantly fanning herself with a deliciously decorated fan.

“I was!” Remus exclaimed with a proud smile.

“Who- Who are you?” Janus tried to say in the nicest tone possible.

“She’s my frankenstein monster which I created just to bitch around and annoy me” “Life saw what kind of fuck up he was and made me out of diamonds and a lion’s pride to be the better version of him!” They said at the same time.

They glanced at each other before looking back at Janus.

“She’s my twin” “He’s my twin” They continued on at the same time again.

The lightbulb inside Janus’ brain finally lit up “Oh you’re Rowan aren’t you? I have heard many atrocious tales about you”

“The one and only” She moved her arms into some sort of regal pose while saying it “I’ve heard stories of you too you pitiful Janus. Re-re has told me he hates you and finds you awfully boring but you seems so lonely and sad he doesn’t want to tell you!” 

Remus’ eyes widened into panic as he shook his head “I never said that!! Lies!!! Defimation!!!!”

“Re-Re I was joking”

“Oh............ok”

He kept fiddling with his oversized shirt. He looked over at his sister while moving further away from Janus. Rowan nodded back at him.

“Sibling meeting!” She exclaimed as she abruptly stood up while dropping the fan. She grabbed onto Remus and dragged him into the bedroom.

Janus stayed with his hands awkwardly clasped between his thighs. He hadn’t known he would walk into his greatest weakness: Meeting new peopel!!!

He looked around the room and slowly realized that the suitcases weren’t even unpacked. Meaning Rowan must have just arrived. Meaning Janus had inserted himself into a sibling reunion.

Holy shit. He was a piece of shit.

He slumped down on the green covers of the makeshift sofa bed....wait....Remus’ stuffed octopus laid on the pillow. Meaning it was his bed.....so Rowan was using the bedroom.

It all clicked at once. The cheerful disney posters. The white fluffy pillows everywhere. The walls being painted gold and red. THE LESBIAN FLAG HANGING ON THE WALL.

This wasn’t Remus’ apartement. This was Rowan’s apartement which Remus had weasled himself into.

Holy shit. Janus wasn’t just a piece of shit. He was a stupid piece of shit. Remus was never going to love him back!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH-

Meanwhile Remus was looking around in the heaps of dirty clothes and trash that had piled up in the bedroom while Rowan had been away. His sister was standing over him with her hands clasped in front of her chest.

“Soooo Re-Re do you have a cruuush on him?” She had an extremly smug smile on her face.

“I would rather eat a burning stone than have a crush” He muttered back.

“He’s not even pretty”

“Ro-Ro you don’t think any guy is pretty”

“That’s not true!” She disagreed. She began to count on her fingers. “Tarzan”  That was it.

“He’s animated!”

“He still counts!”

Remus took a deep breathe “We shall savor this battle for another day and it shall be glorious”

“It sure will brother!” Rowan tightened her fist.

They made angry grimaces at each other for a few seconds before going back to being normal. Remus tried looking under the bed.

“He’s a total dork you realize that right? He isn’t good at hiding it either” She stated “So I guess he isn’t the worst guy to have a crush on”

“I don’t have a crush on him!”

She sent him another smug look “Oh really? I’m not so sure about that!”

“I’M NOT INTERESTED IN HIM!”

She held up her hands “Alright. Alright. I hear you”

Rowan patted him on the shoulder. He took a shaky breathe to calm down. He held up a binder. The reason he had been searching the bedroom in the first place.

“Could you help-”

“Yep”

“I don’t want him seeing me without it”

“Got it”

He took off his shirt and forced the binder down around his shoulders. Rowan made sure to only touch the binder as she pulled it down so it sat properly.

“I saw that my money has been getting sent to a therapist” Rowan said while leaning her chin on his shoulder “Proud of you”

“OHOHO It is not at all what you think it is. It’s as much therapy as you having that spiritual guide living here for a while was actually spiritual in any way and not you just your girlfriend”

She sighed “Still an idiot I see................ANd we did burn candles when we shared baths so it was really spiritual actually!!!”

Remus shrugged “I don’t need therapy anyway” She did a facepalm “Hey it’s true!! You let me live all on my own and look! I’m not dead in a ditch or addicted to ketamine or whatever you thought was gonna happen the moment you turned your back”

Rowan rolled her eyes “Sure dukey”

She went back out into the living room while he stayed to put on his shirt again. Janus sat still in nearly the exact same place they’d left him. As if he was afraid doing anything would ruin everything.

He looked at her with almost fear. It turned into definitive fear when Rowan walked up to him and grabbed onto him to shove his back against the couch. She towered over him and pierced her eyes right into his.

“Listen here you swept together ball of dirt” She snarled out “If you ever hurt my brother, in any way, I will make sure you have nightmares from what I did to you every single night for the rest of your miserable life! You’ll never feel peace ever again!” 

Janus gulped “Yes ma’am”

Rowan let go of him and shone up into a smile “Good! If you need me I’ll be in my room putting on a face mask!”

She walked off at the same time Remus came back. Janus sat even stiller on the couch. His crush slumped down next to him and rolled his thumbs.

“So whatcha wanna do?” Rem asked. 

Janus shook his head to relax “Whatever you want to do dear”

Remus shone up into a grin and dashed to pick something up “UNO!”

“Ah yes. I am of course a feared master of...uno” 

He snorted while sorting the cards between his fingers “Please say that again”

“Uno?”

The snort turned into a laugh “It’s just cute to hear non spanish speakers saying uno. That’s your whole vibe. Cute. Dorky. Smart dumbass. You’re like...the decaying corpse of a chipmunk!”

Janus took a moment “.....thanks. Best compliment I’ve ever gotten”

“No problem! Now I’ll make up for it by beating you in uno!”

It was a heated battle. Remus apparently had incredibly luck in all card games. Janus used the technique of distraction (!) and started talking about obscure conspiracy theories. It failed as his crush already knew the conspiracies. Which then started an even more heated debate about which conspiracy was the best all while the battle of cards continued.

Finally it came down to Janus having 1 card and Remus having 2. The snake let out a villanous laugh. After his crush’s turn the victory would be his!

But then Remus laid the card equivalent of slapping him across the face with both a sword And a dick. He laid a skip card! Janus fell back on the couch in exasperated horror as his crush laid his last card.

“WOOHOO FUCKER! GET KICKED IN THE BALLS BITCHASS!!” Remus yelled while getting up and running a few victory laps around the couch.

Janus laid in stunned silence. few times had he been beated this good. 

“I’ll destroy you in the next round” Jan shook his fist to be extra extra.

“Oh really now. You dare challenge the great Buttmaster420!? IN uNO? Truly brave” Remus replied with a cocky grin.

Another fierce match began. As did their conspiracy theory debate. 1 win for Janus. 1 for Remus. Somewhere along the line they made popcorn. A second win for the snake boy. 

2 wins vs 2 wins. This was it. Remus looked his friend up and down like he was a comboy about to shoot him in the heart as he laid a pick up 4 cards card. Janus gasped. The tension in the air could be cut with a butter knife.

The final card landed. Remus won. Janus pretended to faint.

They shook hands and exchanged looks of respect before bursting out into laughter.

“Alright alright” Remus chuckled out “Snakey since I won I get to decide what we do next!”

“Please not a satanic ritual. I already have that planned for Monday”

“Oh nonono! Much better! Y’know those ghost hunting videos on youtube??? Yeah I love finding really badly made ones and laughing at them!”

“Ah yes, because if there is one thing I am known to do it is laugh at others”

They sat on opposite ends of the couch while Rem searched deeply after the best trash. He found a 15 minute one where they were apparently being chased by slenderman.

They exhanged jokes and giggles over it but to be honest most of what Janus focused on was just being in his crush’ apartement. He tried to sneakily look around to aww at the drawings and storyboards pinned onto the walls. The small sculptures made out of trash laying in droves on the floor. It all made his heart flutter. His entire body yearned to make out until his lips hurt.

Meanwhile Remus was sneaking looks at Janus. His eyes was filled with the ace equivalent of lust.

“...Can...Are...Can I use you as a pillow?” He quietly asked. “You look soft”

Janus’ cheeks went red from blushing in an instant “...sure”

Remus moved closer and carefully leaned his head onto his friend’s stomach. He hadn’t cuddled a person who wasn’t his sister for over a year. Holy shit. This was comfy!

“You’re very doughy!....THAt’s a compliment!” Remus said.

“You really are pulling out your A game compliments today huh”

“Better than pulling out my massive dick!! No but seriously this” He pointed at them both in their cuddly positions “fucks!”

“Oh trust me darling the last thing I am doing right now is fucking”

Remus burst out into a cackle and flapped his hands “You’re gold snakey!!”

“I try my best”

While they continued to watch videos Janus gently moved his hand down to stroke his fingers through his crush’s hair. At first Remus flinched but then he relaxed into it and told him to keep going.

The popcorn bowl got emptied. They laughed at the videos until their stomaches hurt. Remus playfully moved his hands up to cover his friend’s eyes every time a jumpscare happened. Jan pretended to try and bite his’ fingers every time.

Eventually Remus let out a yawn. For a moment he relaxed and cuddled closer. He even let his eyes close. Before he suddenly flinched. His eyes were wide open as he sat straight up.

“I’m tired. You should go” He choked out.

Janus thought before deciding to not question his strange reaction. He sent him a warm smile “You’re right. It’s late. I can text you about meeting up later”

“For sure!”

A silence hung around them as they went over to the entrance door. Remus leaned against the door frame. Janus took a step outside the apartement as he put his jacket on.

They glanced at each other. Neither said goodbye. Remus picked at his skin.

“...I....Janny...I...Okay this might seem weird with me wanting you to leave and most of the time not wanting you to touch me....But I...I kind of trust you... More than most people. I mean it’s rare for me to trust anyone in any way....so yeah...I just wanted you to know that”

Janus fumbled after what to say “Thank you. That’s- I’m flattered....I trust you too....I wouldn’t let you see me when I wasn’t perfect if I didn’t”

Remus smiled at him. A small but genuine smile. “I’ll see you then”

“Yeah” Janus’ chest warmed “Don’t die when I’m not looking!”

“Oh nonono. If I die I’ll make it so dramatic you won’t be able to miss it!” His voice softened “Stay safe..please”

[kaalamarii]

XOXO (MammonxMC)

This was written for @lumiere-morningstar 💛

Summary: From the chat where Mammon gets a letter he thinks is from MC. MC writes him a letter everyday and Mammon puts them aside, thinking they’re just from Lucifer.

Warnings: Sad Mammon, fluff

Masterlist

“Here,” MC said, standing in front of Mammon. He was sprawled out on the couch in the common room scrolling through his D.D.D. He looked up, cocking an eyebrow at the pretty girl before him. 

She tossed the envelope in her hand down to him and it landed in his lap. 

“What’s this?” Mammon asked, turning the envelope over in his hands.

“Just...read it in your room, okay? Not out here.”

Mammon felt his heart flutter as MC walked off, leaving him there to hold the envelope in his hand.

A sealed envelope from MC...that he was to read in his room? Mammon couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. A love letter...MC just gave HIM a love letter!

Mammon’s heart was beating, his hands shaking as he gripped the letter, speed walking to his bedroom and shutting the door behind him. He leaned against the door, holding the letter to his chest. 

An actual love letter. From MC. 

Finally, it was confirmed. MC felt the same for him as he felt for her. I need to get her a present, Mammon thought. Something nice. Something expensive. 

But first, he had to brag. 

(Mammon:) Ahem.

Oh boy, he couldn’t wait till his stupid brothers heard about this.

(Mammon:) AHEM!

(Mammon:) HEY! Someone say somethin’!

(Belphie:) No way. I get the feeling it’s going to be something annoying.

(Levi:) Yeah, tell me about it. 

Mammon scoffed. Rude. Every last one of ‘em. 

(Mammon:) A-H-E-M!

(Satan:)Okay, fine. I don’t care what it is, so just say it already.

(Asmo:) It sounds like he wants to brag about something.

Mammon smiled proudly, sending the ‘Yes!’ sticker. 

(Mammon:) Listen up and be amazed! I, The Great Mammon, have received a love letter from MC!

(Belphie:) Huh? 

(Levi:) He must be hallucinating again.

(Mammon:) I’m not hallucinatin’! It’s a letter inside a pretty lil envelope? What else could it be besides a love letter?

(Beel:) you mean you haven’t opened it yet?

(Mammon:) Well, it’s kinda sealed shut. Besides, can’t a guy savor the moment a bit before he opens it?

(Belphie:) Wow, I never pegged you as the type.

(Mammon:) Hey! Whaddya mean by that?

I’ll have ya know I’m quite the gentleman! Besides, MC told me to read the letter by myself in my room ❤

And that’s exactly what I plan on doin’.

(Satan:) Well open it up then, “Mr. Gentleman”

(Levi:) Yeah, I don’t think you will be savoring the moment for long after you take a look at what’s inside.

(Mammon:) Ugh, fine! Gimme a moment.

Mammon took a deep breath, shakily and carefully opening the envelope. This was it. He’d finally know for sure that she returned his feelings. Then, she’d be his, and only his. It was like a dream come true, he’d be able to hold her, kiss her, and go on dates with her.

He pulled the letter out and unfolded it.

The demon’s face fell, and he sank to the floor, holding the letter in one hand and the envelope in the other.

(Belphie:) Mammon’s grown awfully silent.

(Lucifer:)That is because the ‘love letter’ is from me. Although I call it an “official written demand of repayment.”

(Levi:)Ha! What a noob, lol.

Mammon felt an aching in his heart and tears started to fall from his eyes, landing on the long list of debts. Every ounce of excitement, of hope, every thought of he and MC being happy and in love, shattered. Mammon balled up the paper and threw it across the room.

He was angry at Lucifer, but he expected something like this from Lucifer. But not MC. MC didn’t make fun of Mammon like his brothers did. She never called him stupid or scum. She even stood up for him most of the time. Mammon couldn’t believe MC was a part of this cruelty. That hurt a hundred times more than anything his brothers could say to him, any torture Lucifer had for him.

Mammon wiped his eyes, getting up to grab his precious Goldie. He stormed out of the house, determined to max out the credit card to get his mind off MC’s betrayal.

**

“I haven’t seen Mammon in a couple days,” MC stated at breakfast, looking over at the chair next to her where the second born always sat.

“Oh, he ran off to sulk,” Lucifer replied nonchalantly. “I gave him a list of things he needs to pay off.”

“Is that what was in the envelope you had me give to him?”

“Yep.”

Leviathan’s laugh interrupted the conversation. “That moron thought it was actually from MC. As if MC would be interested in a scumbag like Mammon.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” MC shook her head. “You gave me a letter to give to Mammon so he’d think it was from me?”

“Of course. Why else would I have you deliver it?”

“I just thought it was because I’m always with him.”

“Sure,” Satan offered up, “But also if Mammon knew the letter was from Lucifer, he wouldn’t have opened it.”

“Exactly,” said Lucifer, agreeing with Satan for once.

“That’s kinda fucked up, don’t you think?”

“Mammon’s fucked up,” Satan responded. 

Asmo sighed. “Seriously MC, I don’t know why you’re so close with Mammon. He acts nice to you, but he’d sell you for a few Grimm.”

MC scoffed. “No, he wouldn’t.”

“Mammon is scum,” Levi spoke up again. “Don’t feel bad for him.”

“Wow,” MC replied, getting up to leave. “You should all really think about how you treat Mammon.”

Heading back to her room, she grabbed a pen and notebook out of her backpack and sat down to write.

Mammon,

I heard you wanted a letter from me. 

I’m so sorry that your brothers are dicks to you. I don’t think you’re scum, Mammon. I think you’re sweet and smart and funny, and I love spending time with you. 

You’re pretty much my best friend. 

Love, MC

P.S. Sorry for giving you that letter from Lucifer. I didn’t know what he was up to, I promise. Xoxo

She sealed in it an envelope and wrote his name with a heart. She snuck to Mammon’s room and set it on his pillow. MC was a bit embarrassed by what she wrote, hoping he wouldn’t find it creepy or weird. She wished that he’d be back soon.

**

Mammon snuck in late after being gone for a week, body and head exhausted and hungover, he crawled into bed and passed out. 

When he woke up, he yawned and stretched before noticing the letter on the bed next to him. He picked it up, scoffed, and tossed it across the room. 

There was a new envelope everyday. 

Somedays, MC would slip them under his door. Sometimes she’d hand them directly to him. They’d be waiting for him in his room, on his bed again, on his couch. Each time, Mammon would feel a pang in his stomach. He so badly wanted to open them. Maybe one would actually be a letter from her.

But of course it wouldn’t be. 

MC would never see him like that. Why would she? Mammon was nothing but a greedy, scummy, piece of shit. His brothers made that clear, and now they had MC joining forces with them.

So the pile of letters grew, a small mountain of various colored envelopes.

When he gets one with a lipstick kiss on the envelope, Mammon loses it. He grabs the pile of discarded envelopes and storms to Lucifer’s office, dumping all of them onto the desk directly on top of whatever Lucifer was working on.

“Mammon, what the f-”

“Ya gotta stop doin’ this to me, Lucifer. Look, I’ll repay everything. I’ll go get a job or something, but please, please, stop getting MC to give me these. I get my hopes up and I know they’re just bills and I can’t anymore. It’s killin’ me.”

Mammon was embarrassed at how emotional he was being, whining and crying to his older brother.

Lucifer stared at the envelopes. “Mammon, these aren’t from me.”

“Whaddya sayin’! Of course they are!” 

“No, they’re not.” Lucifer picked up one and ripped it open.

Mammon,

I know you don’t read these which I guess is why I keep writing them. I know that makes no sense. But it helps to write about my feelings for you. It’s a relief to be able to tell you how much I love you, cause I know I can never do it in person.

xoxo,

MC

“Oh...um, Mammon. I think you should read these.”

“You guys are probably just playing tricks on me again.”

Lucifer shoved the letter in Mammon’s face. Mammon wiped his eyes and read over the letter, his heartbeat speeding up.

“This is really her handwriting,” he said in shock.

Lucifer nodded.

“The stupid human really wrote all of these.”

Mammon grinned like mad, gathering all of the letters and rushing back to his room. He threw them onto his bed and sat, cross legged, reading each and every one of them.

A few of them were simple doodles of the two of them and Goldie. Most of them had words of encouragement for him, telling him that she thought he was sweet and a good person (Despite being a literal demon). In every single one was confessions of love and appreciation.

Mammon brought out his D.D.D. and text MC, telling her to come to his room.

MC was thrilled to get a text from Mammon. They hadn’t been spending a lot of time together, and he had barely spoken to her since the day of the first letter. MC slipped on some leggings and an oversized t-shirt and got to Mammon’s room as quickly as she could.

When she saw the opened letters on the bed with him, she grew red. Oh shit.

“Um...you opened the letters.”

Mammon nodded. “Whaddya thinkin’, writing letters like this for me?”

“Mammon, I’m sorry...just f-forget you ever read them.”

“Are you kiddin’ me? You’re the only one who’s ever nice to me, ya know? And now I know how you really feel…”

MC groaned, hiding her face in her hands.

“Of course ya like the Great Mammon! Everyone does. But, uh, iloveyoutooMC.”

“Wait, what?” MC peeked from behind her hand. “Did you just say…”

“Yeah, yeah. Come ‘ere, you!” 

Mammon gently grabbed MC’s arm, pulling her to him and pressing his lips to hers. She smiled against his lips. They fell back onto his bed, ripped envelopes and love letters crumbled underneath them. MC rested her head on Mammon’s chest as he pulled her close, both of them smiling wide.

“Does this mean I can stop writing you letters?”

“Ya better not! I expect one first thing tomorrow.”

Mammon planted a small kiss on the top of her head. 

Finally, he knew for sure that the human was his. 

[swiftlymoniquesblog]

I Just Want My Heart Back: Sam Winchester x Reader

A/N: Hello friends! Well, I thought it was time to update my Supernatural masterlist since I’ve been writing so much for Marvel and Harry Potter. It’s been way too long since I wrote something that wasn’t holiday related for Supernatural and after talking to a very good friend, I came up with this! 

BIG shoutout to @calaofnoldor because she gave some wonderful little nudges and suggestions for this and I’m quite proud of how quickly I put this together. The title for this was her idea, as well as this GIF so thank you lovely for all your help!

Warnings: Angst, swearing, breakup, jealous!Sam, mentions of sex, boobs (yep that’s a warning lol) and implied sex but nothing too filthy cause y’all know that’s not how I roll (and I want y’all to use your imaginations too ;))

Word Count: 4,383 

Supernatural Masterlist| Masterlist of all Masterlists

Feedback is greatly appreciated! Tag lists requests are OPEN as well as my inbox!

*Italics are flashbacks and POV*

-Monique

“I don’t think this is working out,” Sam says, coming to you one day after a hunt gone bad.

“What isn’t working out?” You ask, looking up to the taller Winchester.

“Us, you and me. You living and working with us. All of it.” He says, refusing to make eye contact.

“What? What do you mean it’s not working out? What’s the problem? I’ve been living with you and Dean for the last two years! Why is there suddenly an issue?” You question.

“Well lately, (Y/N) you’ve been really reckless on these hunts we’ve been going on,” he answers, still not looking at you.

“What? Reckless? I’m a hunter, Sam. I take chances just like you and Dean do and they don’t always go as planned, like today.”

“Exactly, that was really stupid of you to go in that warehouse by yourself,” he says as you’re taken back to the events of the day.

“Alright, Sam, you and I will scout out the warehouse, see if we come across any vics. (Y/N) I need you to be on the lookout and alert us if someone’s coming,” Dean said, with Sam next to him, guns aimed and ready to fire. But they looked to you and you were nowhere to be found.

“(Y/N)?” Dean whisper yells for you.

“Dean!” Sam says, panic filling his voice. The youngest brother pointed in the direction of where he was looking straight ahead, seeing you running inside the warehouse.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean yells as he and Sam run after you.

You were too far ahead to hear them running after you until it was too late. An entire pack of vampires had rushed you, trying desperately to sink their teeth into you. A good dozen or more were surrounding you and you began swinging, taking your knife to slice off the heads of the monsters as they grew too close. Screams of the victims could be heard as you fought hard, soon realizing you went alone. Just as one vamp lost its head, another was right behind you and sank its teeth into your shoulder. You scream out in agony; the venom was quickly spreading through your body.

“(Y/N)!” Sam yells to you, watching as you fall to the ground; the pain bringing you to your knees.

“Sam, we can’t stop, there are too many vamps out here!”

“She’s going to turn into one of them if we don’t help her, Dean!”

“Cas! If you can hear us, get your feathery ass down here and save (Y/N)!” Dean yells and then, a fluttering of wings came down in front of you.

“Hello (Y/N), let me take a look at you,” Cas says, kneeling beside you and carefully moving your collar of your shirt away from where you were a bit. You hiss out in pain as the wound was now exposed to the air around you.

“Alright (Y/N) luckily I was able to get here just in time before it got too bad so I can heal you enough now to transport you back to the Bunker but I’ll have to extract the venom from you later. okay?” Cas explained.

“Just, do it!” You cry and a blinding light flashed around you, causing you to lose your sight for just a moment but the sound of vamps being killed was the last thing you heard.

 “Alright, I admit, that wasn’t the best decision I could’ve come up with but I’m okay!”

“Yeah, but today wasn’t the first time you got hurt really bad on a hunt!” Sam yelled, suddenly making himself seem even bigger than he already was.

“What are you saying, Sam? You want me to leave?”

“Yes. I can’t keep worrying about you getting hurt because you’re too damn stubborn to listen to a damn thing Dean or I tell you! We’re more experienced hunters, (Y/N), we know what’s safe and what’s not. We can’t that burden over our heads,” He says.

You felt the tears brimming to the surface of your eyes but with the words he just spoke, you couldn’t let him see you upset.

“Alright, um, I’ll go pack my things and be out of your way.” You say, brushing past your now ex-boyfriend, but making sure to hit him hard as you did so.

When you reached your room, a photo of you and Sam sat on the end-table beside your bed, the smiling faces just mocking you. Grabbing the frame, you throw it across the room and scream at the broken glass now scattered across the floor.

“Fuck you, Sam Winchester!” You yell, hoping to anyone that he was listening.

You and Sam had always been close and just recently started dating. Sure, it was challenging but you thought since you were in the business too, it would be easier to work out any differences you may face; you were clearly mistaken. Taking a duffel bag from out of your closet, you throw all your clothes and toiletries inside, packing up furiously. When you were sure you had everything, you find a scratch piece of paper and write up a note for Dean. You and he were close too; he was like your older brother.

 Dean,

I am so sorry to be writing you this letter but I’ve been informed that I should not be living or hunting with you and Sam anymore. Apparently, I am a burden to you guys and you don’t want to have to worry about my well-being on every case. I guess I am just like you though; stubborn as a mule. I thought that was a good thing but according to Sam, it’s not. I thought he and I could work through anything because I became a hunter too, but I was wrong about that, too.

I’m not sure where he and I went wrong, but today was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I love him, Dean, I really do, but I guess he doesn’t love me enough to keep fighting for a relationship with me. I have a friend who’s a hunter who offered a place for me to stay and is willing to teach me new skills to improve myself as a hunter and who knows, maybe by then, Sam will actually want me around as a partner.

I’m going to miss eating greasy burgers and staying in cheap motels and watching Western’s with you but this is for the best. I can’t be around someone who doesn’t want me around and Sam has made that very clear that he doesn’t care about me anymore.

Here’s my address of where I’ll be staying at for a while; just don’t tell Sam where I’m at. I need to grieve the loss of one of the best things that have ever happened to me. I wish him well though, please tell him that.

I hope to stay in touch with you; you’ve always been like a big brother to me. I love you Dean and I’ll call you when I get to my new home.

Love, (Y/N)

Folding up the paper, you grab your bag and your keys for your car. Walking past Dean’s room, you slide the letter under his door and knock on it, before rushing towards the stairs out when you heard Sam calling for Dean.

“What’s up, Sammy?” Dean asks when he opens his door, noticing the note in front of him.

“I think I found a case for us to work. What’s that?” Sam said, looking at the paper in his brothers’ hand. Just then, the sound of a vehicle starting and driving away interrupted them.

“Who’s leaving?” Dean asked, walking out to the War Room; Sam remaining silent. “What?”

Sam remained quiet for a while until Dean starting growing angry.

“(Y/N) left,” Sam finally said.

“What? What do you mean, (Y/N) left?” Dean asked, still furious with his little brother.

“Where did she go, Sam?”

“I don’t know,” Sam said, avoiding the conversation he just had with (Y/N).

Just then, Dean remembered the letter that was on his bedroom floor. He reached for it from his back pocket and opened it.

Sam watched as Dean’s eyes bounced back and forth across the page; he was starting to feel guilty.

“You told her to leave?” Dean asked, in a calm voice but Sam didn’t peak.

“Answer me, Sammy! Did you tell (Y/N) to leave?!” Dean’s voice escalated.

“Yes,” Sam simply answered.

“Great, you know she’s gone, right? She said we see her as a burden? Did-did you tell her that?!”

“Yes,”

“Oh my God, Sam! That’s just great! You know she was the best thing that ever happened to you and you just push her away like that? Why?”

“She was always getting hurt, Dean? What was I supposed to do? Tell her she was doing a good job at constantly getting hurt?” Sam yelled back to his brother.

“Yes! She was stubborn like we are but she was willing to become a hunter just so she could be with you, Sammy! She loved your dumb ass and what, because she got hurt all the time, you stopped loving her?”

“No, I-I never said I don’t love her anymore,”

“Well, she thinks you don’t love her! And you know what else she said in this letter? She said she needs time to grieve the best thing that ever happened to her!”

Sam was quiet for a minute, letting his brothers’ words sink in. The girl he was in love with, was gone forever, all because he hated how stubborn she was and how she never listened. She was just like him and that bothered him. He didn’t want her to be like him, so broken and hurt, but she was also good. She was beautiful and had a positive outlook on life; always bringing happiness to the brothers when they were down. She was young and full of life, always caring about everyone else before herself and maybe that was why she always got hurt. But she loved Sam and he couldn’t understand why, but he felt lucky to have her. Maybe he was overreacting; he got hurt a lot too. It was part of the job to get hurt saving people’s lives and not everyone could do it but (Y/N)? She was good at it because she cared for people so much, way more than he or Dean even could.

“Did she say where she was going?” Sam suddenly asks, growing worried about where she had gone.

“She did, but she doesn’t want you to know. You really hurt her, Sam,” Dean said.

“I know, I fucked up bad. I thought if she wasn’t here anymore, that she couldn’t get hurt, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about her so much. At least, if she went away, she would be safe, but I don’t even know that to be true,” Sam confesses.

“Your plan just completely backfired on you,”

“Yeah, I made things worse, and for what?”

“Because I thought this was the best way to protect her and when she got hurt, Dean, she was almost always near death. I-I couldn’t stand seeing her like that because I knew there was a better way but she always had to go down the harder and more painful path.”

“Yeah, and you know why she did that?” Dean asked.

“Why?”

“Because she was a Winchester. She was stubborn and hard-headed but she is a fighter and she always believed in the best in people. And what did you do? You tried to penalize her for it,” Dean said.

“I know, I really fucked up here. I gotta try and find her, Dean. Tell her I was wrong,” Sam said, going to grab keys for one of the vehicles the brothers owned.

“Dude, she doesn’t want to see you,” Dean reminded him of the letter.

“Well, she didn’t leave that long ago. She couldn’t have gotten too far; I have to try,” Sam argued back.

“Want me to go with you?” Dean asked but Sam shook his head.

“I need you to stay here just in case she comes back home,” Sam says before realizing the Bunker wasn’t (Y/N)’s home anymore. “Just stay here.”

Sam grabbed a jacket and his phone before rushing off to the garage and jumping in behind the wheel of a car. Just before he sped away, Dean came out to the garage with a set of keys in his hands.

“Here,” he said, tossing the keys to Sam.

“Baby? You’re letting me take her?” Sam questioned, surprised that his brother trusted him with his most prized possession.

“Yeah, she’s pretty reliable and will get you where you need to go. Plus, (Y/N) loves her. If you do end up catching up with her, the least you can do is show up in a good-looking car,” Dean smirked as Sam threw the other keys back to him. 

Throwing the car into drive, Sam sped out of the garage, desperate to find (Y/N) and hoping he wasn’t too far behind her. He wanted to apologize to her, tell her he still loved her, and was only speaking out of frustration. Of course, he wanted her to stay and keep hunting with him and Dean but he worried about her a lot, and seeing her hurt all the time, wasn’t good for anyone. Maybe he was being selfish but he thought he was doing the right thing for everyone when he really was hurting the one person who meant the most to him. He pushed the gas pedal down as hard as he could, not caring about the speed limits, and looking around to see if her vehicle had stopped anywhere, as his mind kept wandering off to the letter she left for Dean. Why didn’t she leave one for him? Did he hurt her that bad? 

Sam’s POV

Damnit, I shouldn’t have told her to go and now, I can’t find her. What if I do find her and she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore? She easily could tell me to go to hell; I mean I did that already but it would be worse hearing it from her. Would she ever let me explain where I was coming from? If she didn’t, I don’t think I would blame her; I wouldn’t let me explain. I hadn’t realized how long I had been driving for but it was starting to get dark. My speed had decreased drastically as I figured I should pull over and rest for the night. It’d be no good for me driving at night when I was this upset over the whole situation. Maybe this still made me seem selfish but I didn’t want to end up dead before I got to her. Seeing a small bar off the side of the road, I go to pull into the parking lot, searching for (Y/N)’s car just in case she had done the same as me. 

Getting out of the car, I lock Baby up and head inside, anxious to see if (Y/N) was there. Looking around the room, I’m met with a bunch of unfamiliar faces. I walk to the bar and order a shot of whiskey. The liquid burned as it went down my throat and temporarily made me feel better but that feeling went away quickly. Just as I was about to order my next shot, I look over out of the corner of my right eye and see that familiar face; the one who had been driving me insane. 

She was sitting at a booth with some guy who couldn’t keep his hands off of her but she didn’t seem to mind. Was she crazy?! This guy is disgusting! How could she be okay with him touching her? I’m the only one who is allowed to touch her. Wait, no, I can’t think like that; I’m the one who broke up with her. But did she have to be looking at him with those big (y/e/c) eyes? And that perfect smile? She used to look at me like that all the time and now? My last memory of her was the look of pure sadness and somber; like I just kicked a puppy or something. No, I just broke her heart. Alright, I hate myself but I need to do something about it instead of just sitting here and watching her fall all over some random guy. I may regret this later but I figure I should go with it and see what happens.

“Hey baby, there you are. I was starting to worry about you,” I say, pulling a chair over to sit on the opposite side of where her “date” was. She looked over at me with a look of disgust but my jealous side told me I was doing the right thing. 

“Go away, I don’t want to talk to you,” she says, turning back to the other guy, so I did the next best thing I thought to do. I stand up and wrap an arm around her waist, hoisting her over my shoulder. She screamed and started cussing me out, causing everyone to look at us. 

“Just our honeymoon is all, she’s a bit nervous,” I lied, looking at the bartender who just nodded his head and smirked; dirty old man. Walking back out to Baby, (Y/N) hits my back several times, telling me I must’ve lost my mind to be treating her like this and she is going to fucking scream when I finally let her down. 

“(Y/N) please, just let me explain,” I say, finally setting her down but still holding onto her arm.

“Why should I Sam? You made it very clear that we were over and that I was a burden to you; why can’t you just let me go? I just want my heart back because you destroyed it,” She says trying to wiggle free from my grasp.

“I can’t let you go,” I say, letting her out of my hold.

“You just did a few hours ago!” She says, growing frustrated with me.

“I didn’t mean anything I said back then; I’m so sorry,” I try to reason with her but I can tell she’s not buying it. 

“Why even say it then?” She scoffs, rolling her eyes at me. 

“I was talking out of my frustration. I hate seeing get hurt; you’ve almost died more than once. I hate that you’re just as much a Winchester as Dean and I are; just as stubborn. But you’re a damn good hunter and we’ve gotten better at this job because of you. I can’t imagine not having you hunt with us anymore; you’re too damn important to me now. I want you to stay; I need you to stay.”

She was quiet for a minute then spoke up, “you told me I was a burden to you, Sam. Do you know how that made me feel? You made me think you didn’t love me anymore. So when you told me to leave, I couldn’t fathom the words that were coming from your mouth. I sat in my car about a mile outside the Bunker and balled my eyes out. Do you not realize what you mean to me? I love you, Sam, but you just tossed me aside like I was nothing.” 

“That wasn’t my intention, (Y/N)! I-I thought I was protecting you!” I yell.

“Okay you really don’t want to be yelling at me right now when you’re already on thin ice here, Winchester,” she warns and I apologize. 

“I promise, that wasn’t what I meant to do. I thought I was protecting you by telling you, you were a burden on us. I knew that if I asked you not to hunt with us for a while, you’d just argue with me about why that’s not fair, so I figured if I told you that it was becoming too difficult for us to always care for you, that you would sit back yourself. And then it spiraled out of control from there and I kept up with the act that I didn’t care about you because I had to make you believe that you weren’t safe hunting. I never told you I didn’t love you; I can’t believe you thought that. I love you more than I’ve loved anyone else and I know that’s a lot to hear because we’ve only really been dating for a short time but we started off as friends first and I knew from that very first day you came to us for help on a case, that I loved you. And then when you told me you had feelings for me too, I was so happy because finally, here’s this amazing woman who understands the business because she does it herself and I love her. But I talked to Dean and he made me realize I probably made the biggest mistake of my life and I am so, so sorry. I only said everything I did because I cared too damn much about your well-being. And I know, it’s dumb and doesn’t make any sense but it’s the truth. I hope you can forgive me and we can go back to just being us. And I am so sorry you cried; I hate when you’re sad. But if you’ll let me, I want to make it up to you.” 

There was silence was settled between us for an agonizing amount of time before she did something I wasn’t expecting. She quickly closed the space between us and grabbed the back of my head to pull me into a kiss. Instantly, I grab onto her hips, holding her into place, while my lips let her know how much I truly missed her. I was growing tired of leaning over so I lifted her to my level, easily able to intensify the kiss. She held onto the back of my shirt like she was afraid she was dreaming and I would disappear at any minute, but I tried to convince her that I wasn’t going anywhere; I was too far invested in this. I broke the kiss for a minute, looking at the beautiful girl in my arms. 

“I have an idea,” I said, setting her down and unlocking the car. She watches me closely as I unlock the door she was standing closest to and open the door to her. 

“Get in,” I say. She does but doesn't understand what I was implying until I grabbed the bottom hemline of my shirt and lifted it over my head. When she realized what my idea was, she followed my lead, lifting her shirt over her head and threw it on the floor of the car. I duck down and make my way inside to the back seat, hovering over her as she lays across the seat. She looked up at me, never breaking eye contact until I kissed her again. My hands traveled down her body, and she reacted to my touch, back arching into me. She pulled away to remove her bra before attaching her lips to mine again. As more and more articles of clothing were being removed, she broke the silence for a minute.

“You know, Dean is going to kill us when he finds out we had sex back here.” 

I laugh, knowing she was telling the truth and thinking what my brother’s reaction was going to be.

“Well, he doesn’t have to know; we’ll get her cleaned before we go back to the Bunker,” I say, trying not to make a big deal out of what we had planned. 

“Oh, I don’t know, plus, how many times has he had sex back here?” She asked and I paused to think about it.

“You know, you’re probably right. I’m sure it’s been numerous times! Wanna just go check into that motel over there?” I suggest, throwing my head to the side to motion to the motel. 

“I mean, that’s tempting but equally as disgusting. You know how questionable those rooms are! If we’re going to have sex, I want it to be special!” She kept her stance on the topic. 

I sigh but realize she was right. I didn’t want to just sleep with her in the backseat of a car or at a dingy motel. As much as I was really wanting to go through with this, I figured we would have a much better time back at the Bunker. 

“Alright, how about we just make out like some crazy teenagers for now and save the rest for later,” I suggested, wiggling my eyebrows at her. She laughs for a moment before reaching down to pick her bra back up but I stopped her.

“Why don’t you just leave that off for now,” I say, eyes trailing down to ger exposed chest before a devilish grin made its way across my face. Her cheeks redden but she throws the bra back and brings me back for another kiss, my hands traveling their way over each breast, savoring the way her skin felt against mine. I missed this feeling; having her with me and exploring every part of each other. And not just for a day or just to ‘scratch an itch,’ but because we loved one another and I needed her to know just how vital she was to my life. Without her, I cannot go on; I know this from experience so I knew I needed to do whatever it took to make her realize that I loved her. 

And after a while and we began our journey home, my hand in hers as she sang along to the cassette tapes Dean had, I knew I finally found the happiness that I thought I couldn’t find because of the life I chose to lead and a life I prayed would never change. It may have been selfish to desire a happiness such as this but I also know I struggled to find peace so now that I have it, it’s like a precious artifact that I will fight to protect at all costs, no matter the risk to my own life, because that I what you do when you love someone. 

Taglist: @tloveswriting @calaofnoldor @thinkinghardhardlythinking @440mxs-wife @angeredcrow @baby1967impala @suckmysupernatural @slutforfics @sam-winchester-admiration-league @awesomesusiebstuff @hobby27 @spnjediavenger @polina-93 @simpleb00x​

[ikleesfiction]

Will you follow through if I fall for you?

Fandom : One Chicago Word count : 3,085 words Disclaimer

Previously on this fic : Part 1 🞂 Part 2 🞂 Part 3 🞂 Part 4 🞂 Part 5 🞂 Part 6 🞂 Part 7 🞂 Part 8

Part 9

Today is the day before your departure. You are still standing on the edge between leaving without saying goodbye to Jay or forgetting your responsibility in Amsterdam and just stay in Chicago. You know this is your fault. Keep delaying the talk, uselessly wishing for some miracles, when time is never a promise to anyone.

Your phone chirps for a text from Antonio, The case is done.

Antonio has become your confidant these past days. He knew your situation after you drunkenly told him at Molly's one night. Of course, he thought you're at fault, but at least now he tries to help.

You immediately text Jay. Hey, you're back? You okay?

Jay replies by calling you. "Hey, love"

"Hi, Jay," you are relieved to hear his voice, unaware of your eyes that start to wet. "Are you okay?"

"Yep. No scratches and bruises. Perfectly well." Jay answers easily.

"Yeah, you are perfect indeed," you clumsily flirt as you wipe your eyes. Jay cracks an infectious laugh that you quickly follow.

"God, you don't know how much I miss hearing your laugh," Jay says after.

"Hmm, you might be right. But I know how much I miss you," you retort with a smile.

"You are such a sap," Jay groans.

"Good thing I'm a songwriter and not a detective, right?" you quip cheekily.

Jay chuckles in response. There's some chatter in his background. "Babe, I gotta go. My paperwork won't finish itself. I'll see you at your place tonight?"

Tonight is actually your farewell party at Molly's. For a second, you think of bailing the party and just agreeing on Jay's idea. But you cannot really do that to the 51 family.

"Err... 51 is doing something at Molly's tonight. I promised them I'll come. Can you meet me there?" you say instead.

"No problems. See you later. I love you", Jay cheers, suspecting nothing. "I love you too." you return as he ends the call.

◢◤

Jay opens Molly's door and finds you in the middle of the 51 gang, sharing laughs and hugs or pats in the back. He's not sure what's happening there, but when you see him, the laughter ceased. The crowd breaks up as you slowly walk towards Jay.

Jay smilingly opens his arms, then you hug him tightly. "Hey, babe," He pulls back to kiss your lips. You close your eyes, trying to savor this moment. "I miss you,' Jay says. You give him an unsure smile.

Jay puts his arms on your shoulder to guide you back to the bar. That's when he notices a banner hanging on display, "Farewell Come back soon, Y/N!!"

"Are you going somewhere?" Jay tilts his head at you confusedly.

You step aside to face him, "Jay, we need to talk," you solemnly say, before leading him outside Molly's.

"Okay, I got a feeling I'm not going to enjoy this talk," Jay feels baffled and kinda scared too.

You stand in the cold weather of Chicago, only in your henley and jeans. You put both of your hands to your chest, trying to warm yourself a bit. Your fingers nervously play with your necklace, considering what to say.

Jay cannot stand your silence any longer, "Are you gonna start talking soon?"

You put your hands down and look into his eyes, "I'm going back to Amsterdam tomorrow night."

"Okay. When are you coming back?" Jay frowns dubiously.

"I mean, I'm returning back home, Jay. I'm leaving Chicago", you try to clarify.

"What? What do you mean you're leaving Chicago?" He snaps in fright.

You look down for a moment and inhale deeply, "After the incident, I have to stay in Chicago for three months to do the treatment for my legs. I got no choice but to stay here. Alone, by myself. I was counting the day until I can get out of this city. I hated it here, since my family, my friends, my job are not here."

Jay startles at your explanation. You continue before he says anything. "But then you showed up. Suddenly I wish I had more time to stay in Chicago. I clung to any reason to stay. But now I ran out of reason." Your eyes are begging for his understanding.

Jay, however, explodes. "What?? Am I not a good enough reason for you to stay, Y/N?? Isn't our relationship good enough??" He signs between the two of you. Jay can see your eyes start to water. You bite your lips, trying to hold down your sobs. "And why are you just telling me now?! Am I meant so little to you?" He confronts you further.

"No! You are.. more than.. everything", you try to touch Jay's shoulder, but he jerks away from your hand. You disappointedly look down, "I was going to tell you before. But each time, it gets harder. I was afraid," you murmur.

"Afraid of what?!" Jay yells.

"I was afraid that you're gonna left me," you confess softly.

Jay scoffs, "So I guess it's okay if you're the one who left, right??"

Tears start to fall down on your cheek, but you keep swallowing your cries. "I'm sorry that I was, unequivocally, selfish." you truthfully admit. That's the real reason, the biggest mistake you made. You know it from the start.

Jay looks away from you, "What do you expect for me to do now, Y/N? What do you expect from us?"

"I thought there were several ways this would go. I just don't know which one you will take," you meekly answer.

"Oh, now you're asking me to choose? Why didn't you let me know that I got options before? Before we start sleeping together? Before I fall in love with you?" Jay gestures wildly with his arms.

"I'm sorry," you don't know anything else to say.

Jay feels suffocated. He is angry, upset, and he feels like punching something. He definitely doesn't want to be near you now.

"I hope you're happy with your life in Amsterdam." Jay finally says to you. His wish sounds so hollow. Then he leaves you there, standing outside Molly's by yourself.

◢◤

Kelly keeps his eyes on you since you walk outside Molly's with Jay. He watches as Jay gets more agitated. Kelly starts to move closer to the door in case intervention is needed. When Jay left, Kelly waits until you come back in. You, however, just stand there, not moving, looking in the direction where Jay walked away. He comes out and slowly approaches you. "Y/N?" Kelly calls your name hesitantly.

You cannot hold it any longer. Your dam broke. You sob hard, almost crumble to the ground if Kelly isn't there to catch you. You cry hysterically on Kelly's chest. "I got you, sis, I got you." Kelly rubs his hand on your arm, trying to slightly comfort you. Few minutes have gone, you don't look even remotely calm down. He can see that both of you start to catch people's attention on the street. Kelly thought that he should take you home now. Matt seems to agree since he comes out with your purse and coat. "Let's get you home."

Kelly, with Matt's help, gets you in his car slowly. You lay your head to the side window as Kelly drives down the road. You are thinking about how mad Jay with you right now. How you totally deserve his anger. How disappointed the Intelligence Unit would be at you. How Will would probably hate you forever. Your chest aches with all the guilts.

When Kelly arrives at your building, he finds that you fell asleep. All that crying must've exhausted you. Kelly carries you up to your apartment, slightly grateful that he's a firefighter. It certainly made this a bit easier. Once he reaches your bedroom, he puts you down on your bed, pulls off your shoes, and covers you down with the duvet. You're still hiccuping in your sleep. Kelly tries to find aspirin on your bathroom cabinet. Most of your things were already packed. So it's quite lucky that Kelly could find some left. He sets a glass of water and the aspirin on the bedside table and turns the lamp off. Kelly leaves the door slightly open and goes lay down on your couch, trying to sleep.

◢◤

Jay drives aimlessly in his car. He's not sure where to go, doesn't know what to do. Jay only knows that he is angry. He cannot believe that you're leaving him. And telling him on the eve of your departure?? He never thought you'd be so cruel. He thought you loved him. He thought he has a future with you. Maybe he was thinking too far ahead, but he already fell hard.

Jay cannot think straight. He is a bit worried that he will do something stupid. So he calls Will and is relieved when Will picks up on a second ring. "Where are you?" Jay harshly asks without any greeting.

Will, who is clueless about the situation, answers annoyingly, "Well, hello to you too, brother. I'm doing fine, thanks for asking,"

"Where are you, Will?" Jay repeats the question firmly.

Will finally understands this isn't a social call. "At home. Are you okay, Jay?"

Jay couldn't come to Will's place in his current state. He would've woken up Owen. "Could you meet me at my place?" Jay pleads to his brother.

Hearing the helpless tone in there, Will only has one answer to it, "I'll be there soon."

When Will gets to his brother's place, he tries the door and finds it unlocked. It raises his suspicion. "Jay?" he calls out into the apartment.

Will finds Jay sitting on the couch, holding a glass in hand. A bottle of whiskey is on the table. Will is quite convinced that the bottle has never been opened before, but now it's half empty. Jay sniffs and then brokenly says to Will, "Y/N left me."

Will obviously is shocked, "What? Why?"

"Apparently, she wasn't planning to stay in the first place. Soon as she could, she left! Back home! To fucking Amsterdam!" Jay starts to shout. "She knew she's going to leave. But she never said anything. I've totally been played", Jay says somberly to his glass.

Will tries to understand the situation, but he cannot make sense of it, "She probably didn't mean that. Maybe something happened there that required her to go?"

"Said she hated the city.", Jay recalls the conversation.

"What??" Will's not sure to believe his hearing right now.

"Said I'm not good enough reason for her to stay. Why, Will?? Why did everybody leave me?? What should I do so they could keep loving me??" Jay yells exasperatedly. "I love her, Will! Said she loved me too, but she left? Did she lie to me??" Jay ragingly throws his glass to the wall.

Will just sits beside his brother, not sure if he can say anything to comfort him. He watches his brother emptying the bottle until Jay's passed out on the couch.

◢◤

You wake up in the middle of the night. Your head is pounding as you tried to remember what happened. When you do, suddenly your chest is tightened, it's hard to breathe. You try to grab your phone. You feel like calling Jay and beg for his forgiveness. But your hand is shaking so hard, your phone falls out of your hand.

The noises wake Kelly up. He quickly steps into your room and sees you breathe erratically. He puts his hand on your shoulder and tells you to take a deep breath, hold it, and let it out. Few rounds of guided breath, you start to get calmer. Kelly then sees your phone on the floor with Jay's contact on display. You look at Kelly, "What have I done, Kel? I let Jay walked out of my life. I let my love walked away. I cannot do anything about it".

Kelly thought that you could just stay here. That you have lots of people here who love you as much. That Chicago could be your home too. But he doesn't say anything. You need to understand this by yourself. Telling this now would only rattle you further. Kelly just puts his arm around your shoulder and lets you rest your head on his shoulder.

When morning comes, you and Kelly sit on the kitchen island with coffee mugs in hand. "I could ask Chief Boden for an hour break to take you to the airport." Kelly offers.

"Nah. The Squad needs you more," you reject it. "I already booked a cab anyway." You stand up to refill your mug.

Kelly puts his cup on the sink. "I gotta go so I could be on time for my shift," He gives you a long hug and a brotherly kiss on top of your head. "You're gonna be okay. You can call me anytime you want. When you feel better, you have to come to visit again." You just silently nod your agreement.

◢◤

Jay wakes up on the couch. He sees the empty bottle of whiskey on the table. By the persistent hammers on his head, Jay knows that he is the only one who drank it. He gets up from the couch to move into his bed, but then he finds Will is sleeping on it. Jay is certain that his brother will ask a lot of questions that he's not ready to answer yet. So Jay decides to go to work early before Will wakes up.

Jay is the first one to arrive at the 21st District. He boots up his computer and opens up cold cases. Trying to find anything to distract him from thinking about his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend, he corrects himself bitterly. One by one, his colleagues arrive. They're all surprised to see him working on his desk this early, except for Antonio, who has a better idea of what's happening. Adam is the first one to let Jay know of their confusion. "Well, look at you, Detective Halstead. Working hard this early morning. What are you working on anyway? I don't know that we already have a case."

Jay doesn't give him any response. Adam looks at Jay's desk, trying to figure it out. "Cold cases? Hmmm, interesting. Did your girlfriend kick you out of bed? That's why you came to work early, Halstead?" Adam jokes. Jay stands up from his chair quickly and pushes Adam to the nearest wall, his arm presses on Adam's neck. Around them, everybody yells and tries to break it off. Jay still says nothing and keeps pushing Adam. It takes Antonio, Kevin, and Hailey to pull Jay away from Adam while Kim helps Adam stand up.

"Walk it off, Halstead," Antonio orders Jay. Jay still gives Adam a murderous look. "Go. Walk it off. Before Voight hears about this," Antonio tells Jay again.

"Voight hears about what?" Suddenly they find their Team Leader comes in. Nobody moves or says anything. Voight assesses the situation. He sees the stiffness in Jay's body language and bewilderment on Adam's face. "Are you going to be able to work today, Halstead?" Voight asks Jay.

"Absolutely, Sarge," Jay answers boldly.

"If you're not, you better step out for the day. I don't need to clean up your mess too," Voight tries to give Jay an out.

"I won't make any mess," Jay promises him. Voight gives Jay a long look, "Alright, let's get to work."

They're working on a case of illegal arms dealing. Atwater finds out that some parts of the guns are stashed at an abandoned warehouse. When the team checks out the place, a few people try to flee from the warehouse. The team takes them down quickly, but one got away. "We got a runner. Heading northwest," Adam calls on his radio. Realizing that he is the closest, Jay runs to catch the guy. Soon Jay finds the perp trying to climb on a fence.

"Police! Freeze!" Jay shouts and points his gun at the perp, but the guy just keeps on climbing. Jay pulls him down hard. When the perp is on the ground, he tries to throw a punch at Jay. They then get into a tussle. Once Jay gets the upper hand, he beats the guy down. He keeps hitting until Antonio grabs Jay's shoulders and drags him away from the perp. "Enough, Halstead! You're going to kill him". Jay suddenly comes to awareness. He sits down on the ground with his bloody knuckles. Jay's not even sure if it is his own blood or the perp. He just feels numb.

Voight comes to his line of view. "You're gonna take the rest of the week off. Set your head straight."

"No, Sarge. I'm fine!" Jay insists.

"You said you won't make any mess, but here we are," Voight says, gesturing to the almost unconscious perp to make his point. "Go. I don't wanna see you again until next Monday." He dismisses Jay.

Jay looks down on the ground until he feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks up to see Antonio crouches down in front of him. "I don't know if this is the right way, but rather than beating people up, let's just spar. You name the time and place, I'll be there."

Jay nods at his offer, "I might take you up on that."

"Good. I expect you too," replies Antonio before he left in Voight's direction.

Jay goes home to sleep off his broken heart. When he wakes up, he texts Antonio, asks him to spar after he finishes work. Antonio replies with his confirmation immediately.

They spar at the gym for about two hours. Jay feels a bit better after that. On his way out, Antonio claps his hand on Jay's shoulder. "You doing well, man?"

"Yeah, I guess I need that. Thanks for your help," Jay returns earnestly.

"Anytime you want to get punch, just give me a call," Antonio smirks back as he leaves the gym.

Jay checks his phone before he drives home. He sees that he got one missed call and one voicemail. Jay halts when he sees your name on the phone. His thumb hovers on the delete button before he decides to listen to your message. "Hey, Jay. I..", he hears a long pause on the other end. Jay even checks if the message is ended or else. But then he hears you continue, "Thank you for allowing me to be in your life these past few months. I love you."

Next on this fic : Part 10

+x Taglist +x

@shipshipshipau @itsdesiree86 @thevelvetseries @annaallicce

[prophetparadox]

DMC OC Week Day Three: Past/Future

Back at it again with another contribution to @dmc-oc-week​! Even though the prompt is past/future, this is...just a snippet from Kay’s past. Specifically, how she and Dante met! Which I was gonna write at some point anyway, so here it is. Enjoy watching Dante adopt I mean hire Kay into the business.

“Hey! That was my fucking kill, asshole!”

Dante turned his head at the sound of a voice he didn’t recognize. He’d dealt with a lot of angry women, but this wasn’t one he recognized. Turning away from the freshly killed demons, he found himself face-to-face with a girl.

The girl was much younger than him, probably still a teenager if he had to guess. She looked like a mess, her brown hair was frizzy and unkempt, her clothes were riddled with holes and stains, and there was dirt all across her face. Her hair fell in front of her left eye, which seemed to be further obscured by one of those medical eyepatches which was also probably filthy if he had to guess. She was also rather thin, he couldn’t tell if she’d had anything to eat recently. Despite her frail form, in her hands was an axe that had extended towards him, an axe that was unmistakably clean aside from some recent looking bloodstains. Must be some kind of Devil Arm, but how’d this girl get it in the first place? Though an even better question was why she was here.

The nearest town was miles away, unless there was some house out here no one had told him about. Though she also could’ve followed him out here from town, in which case where were her parents? And what the hell was she doing bitching about him killing demons? He needed to get to the bottom of this.

“Woah there, kid, slow down a sec. Just what’re you doing waving around something like that? You could hurt yourself, you know? Assuming you didn’t already, that is.” he said, gesturing towards her eye. The axe getting shoved closer to his face told him he should’ve left out that last comment.

“Shut up! Don’t fucking mock me, you prick!” The girl shouted. “Those demons were mine! I would’ve had them if you hadn’t shown up!”

“Sorry kid, but I got paid to hunt down these suckers,” he said, poking a demon leg with the edge of Rebellion. “That’s my job after all.”

“I saw them first! Who the hell do you think you are, anyway?!” she yelled.

“The name’s Dante, perhaps you’ve heard of me?”

“Why would I?”

“Because I’m something of a legend, fyi. And I’m really good at my job.”

The girl began to growl. “I’m good at this too! Don’t underestimate me!”

Dante raised an eyebrow. “Really now? Because I got years of experience under my belt, kid.”

“So do I! I’ve been doing this since I was a kid!”

“Uh-huh, and how old are you exactly?”

“I’m seventeen! Why does it matter?!”

Dante froze. If she was being truthful and not just exaggerating out of frustration, then she took this up at a much younger age than he ever did. And that was enough to cause concern. “Alright, and what’re you doing out here then? In case you haven’t noticed, these things aren’t small fry,” he glanced back at the corpses, large and covered in spines and scales. “Shouldn’t you be back in town, safe at home and going to school like most kids your age?”

For a moment, he could see the mask of anger slip as her mouth hung open and her glare turned away from him. That wasn’t a good sign. She quickly returned to glaring at him, gritting her teeth in the process. “I don’t live there! I came here because I heard there were demons that needed to be killed!” Definitely not a good sign.

Dante’s features hardened, he was gonna have to get serious if this was going anywhere. If his hunch was right, he couldn’t leave this girl here alone. “Kid, where’re your parents?”

“Shut up! Stop asking me all these stupid fucking questions!” she screamed, her glare turning sharper. “What does any of this have to do with you killing my prey?!”

The look in her eye, he knew exactly what that was. He’d seen that anger so many times, always directed at him through icy blue eyes. He didn’t know what she’d been through, but he could take a well-educated guess. He might not have been able to save the last person who had a fire burning in them, but he could at least help her.

“It’s not your fault, what happened to them.” he said.

The fire in her eyes burned out, her grip on the axe faltering. “Wh-what’re you talking about?” she asked, her angry facade betrayed by the stutter in her voice.

“Your parents,” he said, holstering the Rebellion. “If I have to guess, something happened to them when you were young. And that’s why you’re fighting demons, right?”

“I...I don’t…” Her aggressive stance began to slip up.

“I don’t know what happened to ‘em, but whatever happened wasn’t your fault. Now come on, I’m gonna-”

“What would you know?!” The girl screamed at the top of her lungs, tears threatening to break through. “You don’t know me! You don’t know anything about what I’ve been through! You couldn’t even begin to understand what I’ve been through! Why do you even fucking care?!”

“I understand exactly what you’ve been through, kid,” Memories flashed through Dante’s mind. His mother going off to find his brother, Vergil remaining in the Underworld, seeing Nelo Angelo unmasked… “And I’ve seen what happens when that anger consumes someone. I ain’t letting that happen to you if I can help it.”

The girl looked shocked, any trace of anger vanishing in an instant. “I…” she began, but the words were caught in her throat.

“What’s your name? Gotta call you something other than ‘kid’.”

The girl wiped the tears from her eyes before they had the chance to spill. “...Kay.” she said, her voice sounding so tired and defeated. Dante had a feeling this wasn’t her real name, that seemed to happen a lot in this line of work, but he wasn’t gonna pry further right now.

“Alright Kay, how’d you like to work for my demon hunting business?”

“Demon hunting business?”

“Yep, Devil May Cry! Not like you have anywhere else to go, so might as well stick with me!” He figured now he could bring back the bravado. “What d’ya say?”

Kay stood there in thought for a moment. “...Alright, I don’t have anything else to do.”

Dante held out his hand, happy to see her give it a shake. “Just gotta wrap up the job here, and then we can head back to the office and get you-” The feeling of her axe rushing past his head cut him off. He turned around behind him, seeing the axe lodged in the head of one of the demons he thought he’d killed, which had gotten back up while he wasn’t looking and was ready to attack him. The axe retracted and the demon fell to the ground, truly dead. He looked back to see Kay smirking at him. “Huh, guess it was playing dead there.” he joked.

“Maybe you should pay better attention next time, old man.” she said, looking rather pleased with herself. Oh yeah, she’d fit right in.

“Hey now, I’m not that old!” he said, mock offense in his voice. “Anyway, hope you like pizza, because once we’re done here I’m ordering you a large one!”

The girl’s eye widened. “Seriously? A whole pizza?” she asked, looking like she would start drooling at any moment.

“Seriously. Only the best welcoming party for our newest member!”

“If pizza’s part of the deal, then I’m definitely in! Come on, let’s go kill the rest of those demons!” Kay said, rushing off with axe in hand as the promise of food motivated her. Dante just laughed at the antics of his newest employee, or rather family member, as he followed behind her. Someone had to keep her out of trouble, and it was going to be him.

[selene-tempest]

I just woke up from a dream and I'm not happy. You know as well as I do that you cannot mix my husband and a social situation, it's not a good thing , it's gonna end in disaster. It did here too.

In my dream I had to leave a social occasion (which I do believe was some kind of vlogger/ film festival) because I had an emergency, and promised to be right back as soon as I could.

Upon returning a few dream hours later darling husband was nowhere to be seen, one darling brother-in-law was trying to fix someone's broken tripod (yes I'm looking at you, Virgil) another was in the middle of an interview (seriously Gordon?) and another was standing off to the side, glaring.

I went over to see why said darling brother-in-law/best friend was glaring and to ask where the darling husband was.

Me: Why are you pissy? And Where's John?

Scott : Shit, you're back!

Me: That's a suspicious greeting right there. Why shouldn't I be back?

Scott : *shiftily * No reason

Me: *narrows eyes* Where's John?

Scott : Why don't we go and get a drink? Cat, shall we get a drink with Sel?

Me: I don't want a drink and I don't trust you. What's going on? Did something happen?

Scott : No…

Me: *hands on hips* Spill it!

Scott : One of his old college buddies is here, they are covering the event for a magazine.

Me: What's the problem with that? *shifty Scott is a thing again* Where is he?

Scott : You don't wanna go ov-

Me: *death stare*

Scott : *wilts and points*

Me: *stomps over to see some blonde hussy in a halter top straining over obviously enhanced jugs, snuggle so close to my man she's practically straddling him and she's taking pictures and selfies, he is doing absolutely nothing about it because this appears to be his college buddy.

Me: *glare goes nuclear as it targets this bleached interloper before I force a sweet smile on my face and turn to darling husband: Hi, can you possibly spare me a moment? *me, sarcastic and passive aggressive? Never!*

Her, the bleached one with the boobs: Do you mind? We're trying to have a private conversation here, neither of us have any time to deal with fans. Honestly, we can't enjoy ourselves anywhere these days.

John: No, it's OK this-

B+B(bleach and boobs) : No, you're off duty, don't let them pressure you into giving them time by making you feel guilty, you don't owe them anything.

Me: I think you're misunderstanding, I'm not looking for a-

B+B: No, you're misunderstanding, can't you see that we're busy and that you need to go away? *drops a possessive, red clawed hand on his shoulder and leans closer.*

John: *clearly stuck between not wanting to offend his friend but also waiting for me to explode and take her down. He gets the one eyebrow raise of impending doom warning* Maddie, its fine, this is-

B+B: *puts a finger to his lips to silence him then glares at me* You're interrupting, go away.

Me: *dream me is apparently a lot more chilled than awake me, because dream me just snaps out* Fine, I guess I'll leave you alone then.

Me: *stomps off* I need a freaking drink!

Cat: *hurries over * Did you kill her? Did you save him?

Me: *glances over at the clinging vine my not-so-darling husband seems to have acquired* Let him perish. I'm getting a drink, are you in or out?

Cat: In! *trots after me*

Me: *is searching out one, very specific drink* ha! Got it. *enters the bar and orders a blue and red mix vodka slushie (I don't even know if this is a thing in the real world but it soooo should be)*

Cat: *is not brave enough to order the same, gets a vodka and diet coke, the wimp*

Me: *gulps down three large slurps on my straw, immediately gets brain freeze, isn't sure if that's preferable really*

Cat: *leaving me to it to scroll on her phone*

Me: *brain slightly defrosted* So, who's the bitch?

Cat: Madeline Carmichael-Parks (dream me makes up the best names apparently) went to college with Penny and John.

Me: *huffs at her stupid name* I don't trust people with two names.

Cat: Creighton-ward?

Me: *scowls* she's on the list of people I'm keeping my eye on (I have no idea what I'm talking about here)

Cat: I won't tell her you said tha- oh…

Me: *instantly suspicious* Oh, what?

Cat: Nothing *tries to hide her phone*

Me: Spill it!

Cat: *sighs and turns her phone to show Instagram and the bleached with boobs trollop snuggled faaarrrr too closely to my never-going-to-be-darling-again husband. The caption reads "My gorgeous date and I are enjoying ourselves at the vloggies" Urge to kill, rising*

Me: Right.

Cat: I'm sure it's nothing, you know it's noth-

Ted flap further down the bar opens, a familiar redhead ducks in, I immediately grab my drink and leave. Not in the mood for this shit apparently. I stomp my way down the street, weaving between festival goers. I have no idea if I left Cat behind, if she's following, if she got caught by said redhead, it's every woman for herself right now.

Random Brunette: Hey, sweetie, you OK?

Me: Yep

Random redhead friend : You don't look it.

Me: I'm fine. I just came back to find my husband being groped by another woman.

Girls gasp: He's cheating on you?!

Me: *snorts and slurps rapidly melting drink* Nah, he'd never do that, and my best friend would never allow it even if he wanted to, which he wouldn't.

Girls: *stunned silence, clearly confused*

Me: *sucks madly on the straw* She was all over him, I was polite, she wasn't. Girl code.

Girls: *both nod, totally understanding*

Me: He didn't stop her, so now I'm pissed at him.

Girls: *nod again*

Me: Then she shared a selfie and called him her date.

Girls: *gasps all round*

Me: It was leave to get a drink or murder, those were my choices.

Girls: *sees empty drink in my hand*

Me: I did not choose death this day. *finds drink empty, knows it's probably not safe to go back for another, pouts mildly for a second before deciding a slice of pizza might be better* Yeah, I'm off, later ladies.

Girls wave goodbye. I continue my stomping towards a pizza stall ( there seems to be a lot of food in this dream, maybe I was hungry).

Arms grab me from behind. I scream. Three dudes turn around to see if I'm OK.

John: *patiently* Stop screaming, Sel.

Me: No. *screams again just to be petulant*

Dude 1: Is this guy bothering you?

Me: Yes, he's my husband and he's an idiot who is trying to be cute and adorable when I'm angry at him.

John: *snigger quietly, which was a bad move.*

Dude 2: Want me to kick his ass?

Me: No, I can do that myself.

John : *clearly rolling his eyes behind my back* Whatever you're thinking happened you know it didn't.

Dude Three: *cracks knuckles*

Me: So I didn't see some blown up Barbie hanging all over you, being rude to me and claiming you as her own?

Dudes: *all wince and suck air through their teeth in sympathy, for who I don't know.*

John: I tried to tell her I was married but she never listens and-

Dude Three: Not helping yourself here, my man.

Dude Two: You don't admit to cheating, that's just stupid.

Me: *suddenly defensive of dumbass husband * Hey! Who said anything about cheating? He'd never do that, I was pissed off that a socialite with the IQ of a bean sprout judged me and dismissed me away from my own husband and this idiot did sod all about it.

John : I was about to, but you always tell me you can fight your own battles and I didn't want to undermine you. *hugs me tighter because he totally knows he's getting away with this. Unfortunately I know it too.*

Me: *smacks at his hand* Go away, I'm mad at you and I'm staying mad.

John : No you're not *kisses my neck*

Me: Yes I am. *promptly forces myself to wake up because I I'm that damned stubborn and I will have the last word *

I woke up to dumbass husband snuggled up to my back, snoring lightly in my ear, all innocent and unaware of just what his dream self was putting me through. How dare he!

So I got out of bed and stole his dressing gown, went to the kitchen and bitched to Virgil about my dream. He was very unsympathetic quite honestly and undeserving of the coffee I made him.

John woke up an hour later but I'm still not talking to him. He has no idea what he's done.

Virgil told him he pissed me off in my dream and John just looked at me with a very judging look in his eyes like I was totally mad.

I'm still waiting for an apology…

[justcallmefox89]

Truth or Dare Part 7 - Mammon’s Ending

Arianthi and Mammon are ready to commit, but what will the other six brothers think?  And will they allow her to move back into the House of Lamentation?  Also, a longtime Devildom rumor is confirmed.

Written from the perspective of my female OC Arianthi.

Mood playlist:

Allen Stone - Is This Love Teddy Swims - Naturally (Cover) Ali Gatie - It’s You LP - Tightrope Hozier - Like Real People Do

Lucifer turns to walk back inside and Mammon moves to follow him, but I grab his hand and pull him to a stop.

“Oi! What’s wrong?” Mammon shoots me a quizzical glance.

“I just wanted to run something by you real quick before we go in there.”  

Mammon nods, encouraging me to go on.  

“If they’re ok with me moving back in, and only if you’re ok with this too, I’d like to ask Lucifer if I can move into your room with you.  Permanently.”

“Y-y-you would?”  Mammon looks down at his feet, a blush spreading across his cheeks.  

“Only if you’re ok with it!”  I hastily reassure him.   

I personally think it would be weird trying to go back to normal and hang out with you in the room where you watched me fuck Diavolo.  Or cuddle on the bed where I with Diavolo.  

But damned if I say that out loud.  Plus, thinking about falling asleep with and waking up to Mammon makes me giddy.  

“Of course I’m ok with it!  Getting to have my human with me all the time?”  He shoots me a cocky grin.  “And I understand why you’d want to move in with me, I’m THE Great Mammon after all.”

I squeeze his hand and smile.  “Let’s go talk to your brothers then.”

We walk into the dining room where the brothers are eating breakfast, Mammon following a few steps behind me.  

Levi drop his fork in surprise.  “Arianthi?”

“Are you coming back?”  Asmo asks hopefully.

Beel gives me a sad look.  “I’ve missed your human cooking.”

“I’ve missed our trips to the bookstores,” Satan admits, while Belphie just stares at me sullenly.  

“Oi!  Back off!”  In a bold move Mammon hugs me from behind, glaring at his brothers.  “She’s coming back and she’s mine, ya got it?”

Levi rolls his eyes.  “We all know she’s “your” human Mammon.”

“No she’s..........ok well yeah, she’s my human.  But now she’s MY girl too.”  Mammon looks so incredibly proud, grinning like crazy as he takes in his brothers’ stunned reactions.  

I lean back into him for a moment, absorbing some of his warmth before I straighten up.  

“Mammon’s right,” I confirm.  “And I want to come back, but only if the rest of you are ok with it.  I said some terrible things the last time we were all together, and there is no excuse for that.  Or for the way I’ve shut all of you out for the past few weeks.  I want to apologize from the bottom of my heart.  I think of you guys as family and I never should have treated you that way.”  

I bite the inside of my cheek nervously, waiting for a response.

“I have so many questions.”  Satan sounds dazed.

“Oh!  Oh!  I have questions too!”  Asmo waves his hand excitedly.

“Me too.”  Beel nods.

“I think we all have a few things we would like to talk to you about Arianthi,” Lucifer says.  “In private.  So if you will excuse us Mammon?”

“Oi!  Why do I gotta leave?”  Mammon whines as he tightens his grip on my waist.

I twist in his arms to face him.  “It’s ok.  If you’re up for it I’d like to go shopping today with you.  Maybe you could go shower and get ready while I talk to everyone?”

He frowns at me.  “Fine.  But ya yell if ya need me.”

I stand on my tip toes and give him a quick peck on the check.  “Good boy.”

“Y-yeah, whatever.”  Mammon stutters and turns a very pretty shade of pink.  “I’ll be back in a little while.”

“Arianthi!  Come sit by me!”  Levi demands as soon as Mammon leaves the dining room.

I take my seat under the careful gazes of the six demons, waiting for the onslaught of questions.  

“I’ll start,” Lucifer says, resting his chin in one gloved palm.  “Have you truly ended your relationship with Lord Diavolo?”

I nod. 

“Wait, wait, wait.”  Satan looks like he’s fending off a headache.  “You left Lord Diavolo for Mammon?”

“Yep.”

“You, a human, left a relationship with the literal Prince of the Devildom, to commit to Mammon?”  Satan is struggling with this.

“Affirmative.”

“Our Mammon?”  He’s quickly approaching peak levels of “I can’t even”.”

“Yes Satan, your Mammon.  The Avatar of Greed.  White hair, blue eyes, pretty smile?  Ringing any bells?” 

“But.......but he’s an idiot.”  Satan is incredulous.

“Hey!”  I scowl at him.  “Don’t talk about him like that.”

Satan looks to Lucifer for back up.  

“Mammon does have a tendency towards active idiocy.”  Lucifer agrees.

I shoot them both a dirty look.  “Stop that.  Mammon may have his moments where he’s a little.......quirky or unconventional, but he’s not stupid like you all keep telling him he is.”

Both sit back in their chairs, chastised.  

“I have a question,” Levi says.

I turn to look at him.  “Shoot.”

“Did you mean what you said about thinking of us as your family?”

“I really do think that Levi.”

“And you’re seriously sorry?”  He narrows his eyes at me.

“I am.  I was angry and hurt and I took it out on all of you.  I never should have done that.”

Levi nods, considering my answer.  “Ok, last question.  Are you still my player two?”

I grin at him.  “Always.”

He grins back.  “Welcome home.”

“Can I ask you something?”  Beel isn’t even touching his food, all his concentration on me.

“Of course.”  I’m a little nervous at what Beel considers so serious that he has to take a break from inhaling his breakfast.  

“Did you.....do what you did with Diavolo just to get back at Mammon?” 

I feel a small pang of adoration in my chest.  Sweet, sweet Beel; worrying about his big brother.  

“You mean did I hook up with Diavolo just to hurt Mammon?  And you want to know if I cared about Diavolo or if it was just convenient?”

Beel nods seriously.

“I was hurt by Mammon, but I do care about Diavolo.  The relationship wasn’t something I did just to spite Mammon.  There are genuine feelings between us, but what I feel for Diavolo isn’t what I feel for Mammon.”  

I pause, trying to sort my thoughts into words.  

“When I’m not with Mammon it feels like I’m missing pieces.  As great as he is, I can live without Diavolo and be fine.  I can’t do that with Mammon.”

Beel cocks his head to the side, considering, then he nods once.  “Good enough for me.” 

I look at Belphie, waiting to see if he has anything to add.  

He gives me a look of complete and utter disappointment.  

“I can’t believe you hooked up with Diavolo.”  He snorts in disgust.  “I hate him.”

“I’ve heard.”  I sigh heavily.

“Like, really hate him.  The guy is a serious douche canoe.”

“Belphegor!”  Lucifer’s tone is stern.  

Belphie just shrugs.  “I’d rather you be with Mammon than him.  And I’ve missed napping with you, so welcome back I guess.”  He gives me a small smile.

“My turn now!”  Asmo is shaking with excitement.  “So - “

I hold up my hand.  “Asmo if you’re going to ask me about what I think you’re going to ask me about, you only get two questions.”

Asmo hunches in disappointment, then bounces back up.  “Ok, I’ve got my two questions!”

I hold my breath as he shoots me a sly smile.  

“How big is Diavolo’s dick?  Please say it’s big.  I don’t want to have wasted a millennia of fantasies on a demon with a small dick.” 

“Why are you like this?” Lucifer asks, exasperated.

Asmo rolls his eyes.  “Avatar of Lust.  Literally in the name.”  He turns his attention back to me.  “Now answer the question!” 

“He’s huge,” I confirm.  “Those fantasies probably don’t even come close; Diavolo is packin’ heat.”

Asmo giggles delightedly while the rest of his brothers groan.  

“No more!”  Levi begs.

“I get one more question, Arianthi said so!”  Asmo pouts.  He takes a minute to think and then a wide smile splits his face.  “Ok.......... tell the truth.  Did Diavolo ever tell you how you compare to Lucifer as a lover?” 

I knew this was coming.  I knew it. 

“He said I was more experimental, that Lucifer was very rigid in what he liked in bed.  He said I give better blow jobs, and I was his first...........” 

I trail off as I notice that Lucifer has a slight flush on his cheeks and his brothers are all staring at me, open mouthed.  

I look at Lucifer.  “Is this one of those things that we shouldn’t talk about?”  I ask, slightly mortified.

Asmo breaks out in giggles, everyone but Lucifer joining in.  “I knew it!  I knew it!  You, Lucifer, are a lying liar who lies!”

Satan stares at Lucifer wide-eyed.  “You’ve been denying that rumor for centuries........ but it’s really true?”

Belphie is laughing so hard he’s crying, and he buries his face into his cow pillow.  “This is too fucking perfect.”  

“THAT’S ENOUGH!”  

There’s a sudden flash of purple as Lucifer’s magic lights up the room.  We all fall silent and he levels a stare at us.  

“This conversation never leaves this room.  In fact, I say we all forget this conversation even happened.” 

We all nod quickly, but Asmo mouths “more details later” at me and I wink at him in agreement.  

Lucifer clears his throat.  “Well then.  If everyone is quite done, how does everyone feel about Arianthi moving back in?”

The other five all smile and nod at me.

“Welcome back Arianthi,” Lucifer says.  

“Thanks guys.  I’m really happy to be home.”  I hesitate for a moment.  “Lucifer, there is something I wanted to ask you about.  In private, if that’s ok?”

He nods in agreement and we walk into the library, away from the others.  Once inside, he arches an eyebrow at me expectantly.

I take a deep breath.  “I wanted to ask if it was alright with you if I moved into Mammon’s room with him.  I don’t want to go back to my room.  I want to stay with him.”

“Arianthi -”

I cut him off.  “Lucifer, Mammon saw us together.  Diavolo and me, in my room.  I don’t want him to have to remember that every time he goes in there.  It wouldn’t be good for him, or us.  I know Mammon tries really hard to come off as confident all the time but -”

“He’s just pretending.  Especially when it comes to you.”  Lucifer says knowingly, a small smile teasing at the edges of his mouth.

“Yeah.”  I’m relieved that he understands why I’m asking.

“I know my other brothers and I aren’t always the most supportive of Mammon or his harebrained ideas, and I’m sure that contributes to some of his ........acting out.  I am happy he has you to look out for his best interests Arianthi.  He needs someone who is going to be on his side.”  Lucifer pauses for effect.  “You have my permission.”

“I always knew he was your favorite,” I tease with a big smile.

“Don’t you think you have already pushed your limits with me far enough for today?”  Lucifer eyes me in annoyance.

“Excellent point.  Thank you Lucifer! I’m going to go tell him!”  I bound out of the library, eager to tell Mammon the good news.  

“Mammon!”  I yell as I rush into his room.  “Lucifer said it was ok-”

“Oi!  What’s the big idea, human?  Bustin’ in on me like that?”  Mammon stands in the middle of the room, towel wrapped around his waist, hair still dripping from the shower.

“Sorry!”  

Not sorry at all.

I gaze appreciatively at the tan skin of his chest, admiring his abs and the firm muscles of his arms.

“Oi!  Eyes up here!”  Mammon’s face is faintly pink but he’s smirking at me.  “I know THE Great Mammon is good to look at, but ya sounded like ya had something to say.”

“Lucifer said it was fine for me to move in with you!”  I grin at him, waiting for his reaction.

His eyebrows shoot up.  “For real?”  

He closes the distance between us, sweeping me into a hug.

I kiss him, slow and sweet, my tongue gently licking at his lips until his mouth opens and his tongue meets mine.  He kisses me hesitantly at first, but soon gains confidence, skimming his hands along my sides as he deepens the kiss.

“Damn,” he whispers as we pull apart.  “I never thought he’d say yes, but I’m sure as hell glad he did.”  

He pulls me in even closer and I’m suddenly aware that the only thing separating me from him is a towel.  

“Um, Mammon?”  

I softly trace the edge of the towel with my fingertip.  His eyes widen comically as he looks down at my finger, slowly tracing patterns on his lower stomach.

“I-I need to get dressed.  Ya still wanna go shopping right?”  He asks gruffly, fighting the flush on his cheeks.

I smile at him.  “Yes please.”  

He moves to pull away from me, but I catch his hand, slowly pulling him back to me.  I press a smattering of kisses across his chest, working my way up to his neck.  I nip at the juncture where his neck curves into his shoulder, leaving a small red mark.  He makes an incoherent noise low in his throat, and his chest heaves as his breathing picks up.

“Oh, you like that hmmm?”  I look up at him through my eyelashes.

“Ya trying to kill me human?”  Mammon exhales sharply through his nose.  “Quit distracting me and let me get dressed will ya?”  

I giggle and move away from him, going to lay down on his bed while I wait.  I hear him fumbling through his closet, then rustling through the clothes left on the pool table.

In a few minutes he joins me on the bed, fully dressed, stretching out on his side to face me.  

“Ready to go?”  I ask him.

He looks down at the mattress, turning a bright red.  “I was wonderin’ if it’d be ok if we stayed in today.  Maybe go shopping tomorrow.  I just kinda wanna be a-a-alone with ya right now.”  

I had wanted to go buy groceries to make a special meal for the boys, but that can wait til tomorrow.  

“I don’t mind that at all.”  I reach out and take one of his hands, twining our fingers together.  

“Y-yeah?”

“Yeah,” I say to him with a smile.  

“Well then come here and lemme see ya, ya dumb human.”  He tugs me to him until we’re flush together, chest to chest, legs and arms tangled together.

“Hey,” I pout playfully.  “No more of that dumb human stuff.”

He smirks down at me.  “That’s right.  You’re MY dumb human now, ain’t ya?”

I smack a hand lightly against his chest.  He chuckles and plants a kiss on the top of my head.  “Nah, you’re my girl now.  That’s all that matters.  And I’m gonna make sure everyone knows it.”

I nuzzle my head against his chest.  “I like the sound of that.  Your girl.”

“I love the sound of it.”

We stay like that for a while, Mammon’s slender fingers tracing patterns over my back, content just to hold each other again after such a long time apart.

“Mammon?”  I ask softly.

“Hmmm?”  He responds lazily, fingers never stilling against my skin.

“I’m so sorry for everything.  You deserved so much better than that.  I’m going to make it up to you, I promise.”

“None of that now, or I’m gonna start callin’ ya a dumb human again.”  I feel his lips brush against my hair.  “We’re startin’ over, doing it right this time.  Ya got that?”  

I nod, leaning my head back to kiss him.  “I got it.  After all, I can’t say no to THE Great Mammon.”

He quickly turns pink.  “Of course ya can’t,” he growls at me playfully, returning my kiss.  

We spend the rest of the day tangled up together, trading kisses and small touches, getting used to each other again.  Later that night we drowsily lay together, sharing a pillow and looking into each other’s eyes.  Our hair mixes together on the pillow, my long black curls standing out against his shorter white hair.  

“I like this,” I whisper to him.

“Me too.”  He smiles sleepily at me, reaching out and booping my nose.  

“Not that, silly.”  I giggle at him.  “Well, not only that,” I quickly amend.  

He quirks an eyebrow at me, waiting for me to elaborate.  

“This,” I whisper, reaching out a finger to trace our intertwined hair.  “Dark and light.  Two halves of a whole.  One can’t exist without the other.”

Mammon looks at me, eyes soft and loving.  

“I like that too.”  He leans forward to kiss me.  “I love you human.”

“I love you too demon.”  

We drift off together, lulled to sleep by the sound of each other’s heartbeats.

The next three months are a happy blur of time spent with the brothers, classes at R.A.D., and exploring my relationship with Mammon.  Even though the end of the exchange program is drawing near, we’ve been making plans to keep our relationship going; everything from visits to video calls, and even traveling the human realm together.  

One morning I’m getting ready for R.A.D. with Asmo in his room.  Or more accurately, I’m ready to go, laying on Asmo’s bed flipping through a magazine while he painstakingly styles his hair.

I’m admiring a photo spread of Mammon modeling a new clothing line for Majolish when I realize that Asmo’s talking to me.

“Mmmmm?”  I look up from the magazine.

Asmo looks at me in the mirror, still fussing with his hair.  “I said, how are things going with my dear big brother?”

“Good.  Things are really good.”  I feel a goofy grin spread across my face.  It always seems to happen when I talk about Mammon.  I can’t help it.

“And in the bedroom?  How’s he compared to Diavolo?”  Asmo waggles his eyebrows at me, grinning.

“Asmo!”  I shriek, feeling my face flush.

“Ooooh!  Is that a good sound or a bad sound?”  Asmo jumps on the bed, bouncing and settling in next to me.  

I hesitate.

His face falls.  “That bad?”

“Noooooo.......” 

I’m reluctant to say anything, but if I have to tell anyone this, Asmo is the one I’d tell.  

“The thing is, I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t - “  Asmo squints his eyes then widens them as he puts the pieces together.  “You mean, you haven’t?”

I shake my head. “Nope.”

“But, but.....it’s been MONTHS!  How could you not?”  Asmo is distraught.  

I shrug.  

“I’ve been respecting Mammon’s space.  He’s not ready yet and I don’t want to push him.”  I pause.  “I think he’s a little......worried about following Diavolo, if you get what I mean.”

Asmo nods knowingly.  “Makes sense, especially since we’re talking about Mammon.  But you’ve figured out his little praise kink by now haven’t you?”

I smirk at him.  “I knew about that before I start dating him.”

“Then use it.”  Asmo shrugs.  “I’m not saying push him before he’s ready, but build up his confidence a little more.  Let him know you’re all about him, you find him sexy, you want him.  I guarantee he wants you just as much as you want him, he’s just feeling insecure.”

I frown.  “You really think?  I don’t want him to feel pressured.”

He rolls his eyes.  

“He won’t, trust me.  I’m the Avatar of Lust, remember?  I know about these things.  And I’m his brother.  He’s been craving you for almost a year now.  I’m surprised he’s not crawling out of his skin with lust.  He certainly reeks of it.” Asmo wrinkles up his delicate nose.

“Asmodeus!”  I shriek again, playfully bopping him with a pillow.  He screams dramatically and grabs a pillow to retaliate.

Mammon suddenly barges into the room.  “Oi!  What are you guys doin’?  We’re gonna be late and Lucifer’s gonna blame me!” 

Asmo and I glance at each other and burst into a fit of giggles.  

“What’re ya laughing at?”  Mammon demands.

“Nothing!”  We reply in unison.  

Mammon glares at us.  

I gather up my things and go give him a kiss on the cheek.  I grab his hand and tug him towards the door.  

“Come on baby, don’t want to be late.”  Months later Mammon still flushes at the nickname, but he follows me obediently.  

We’re halfway to RAD when Solomon catches up to us.  “Hey Arianthi!  Mammon.”

Mammon’s grip tightens on my hand.  

“Hey Solomon,” I reply.

“I’m glad I found you.  Diavolo wants to speak to us both; we can walk over together.”

“Do you know what he wants to talk to us about?”  I sneak a glance over at Mammon.  His teeth are clenched so tight I can see the small muscles in his jaw twitching.  

“He didn’t say.  But whatever it is we shouldn’t keep him waiting.”  Solomon gives me one of his knowing smiles and starts walking away, expecting me to follow him.

I sigh.  “I should go see what’s going on.  I’ll see you at lunch, ok?”

“I should go with ya.”  Mammon is radiating jealous energy.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea honey.  It’s probably about the exchange program.  I’m sure it will be quick.”  I get on my tiptoes and press my lips to his.  “I’ll message you as soon as I’m done.”

“Ya better.”  Mammon tugs me to him and gives me another kiss, this one possessive and insistent.

I hug him tight.  “I love you.  Talk to you soon.”

“Love you too,” he says as he releases me.

------------------------------------------------------------

Mammon watches Arianthi hurry to catch up to Solomon, unease and anger churning in his stomach.  He barely tolerates the idea of his girl being alone with his own brothers; the thought of her being alone with Diavolo and Solomon damn near drives him crazy.  

Maybe I shoulda went with her.  She don’t need to be alone with them.  

He shakes his head to clear his thoughts.  

Nah, MY girl isn’t like that.  She can handle herself.  But I gotta be sure to remind her and everybody else who she belongs to when she gets outta of that meeting.

——————————————————————————

I catch up to Solomon standing outside of Diavolo’s office.  I hesitate for a minute, reluctant to go inside.

Solomon smirks at me.  “Nervous?”

I roll my eyes.  “Blow me.”

“Have you even seen him since you started dating Mammon?”  Solomon turns serious.

I shake my head.  “We’ve seen each other in passing, but this will be the first time we’ve actually talked since I moved out of the castle.”

He puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes comfortingly.  “No matter what happens in there, I’ve got your back.  Humans have to stick together down here.”

I give him a grateful smile.  “Thanks Solomon.”

He returns the smile then steps forward to knock on the office door.  One beat, then two.  Suddenly we hear Diavolo’s deep voice calling from within.

“Come in.”

[halothenthehorns]

All in the Family

Chapter 102: The Ministry of Magic

Lily was fortunate enough to land on a chair, but it wasn't neat. The chair rocked back as she landed in it, she lost even that small bit of leisure as she fell even farther forward and her foot got stuck in the armrest, and the rest of her messily fell to the floor with her foot still stuck. Lily tried to extract herself, but the chair wouldn't budge to give her room to get out from under the desk, something blocking it was the only explanation for why it wouldn't roll farther. So she craned her head around to see that Lupin was wedged between the chair and the wall, someone's shoe was dangling over the side of the desk, and pieces of parchment were fluttering everywhere. And that's just what she could see.

"Everyone alright?" she called, her voice oddly strangled-sounding because of her awkward position.

"Yep!" Potter replied with chipper. "You, Evans?"

Lily groaned and let her head fall against the back of the inside of the desk as the others all replied they were okay.

"Where are we?" Alice asked, squirming uncomfortably as she was literally wedged between the two desks, but unable to move forward with Regulus directly in front of her smushed against the wall, or Potter jammed against the door.

"A very, very tiny office," the older Black pointed out dryly, sitting the most comfortably on what must be Arthur's desk judging by the photo of his family adorning it.

"At least it's better than Harry's or Aragog's cupboard," Pettigrew groaned, sitting on the other desk like it was a saddle and not looking happy for it, but as unable to readjust as anyone else with another on either side of him. "Where's the book?"

There was some shifting and shuffling, but not much, before Frank's voice rang out from the opposite side of Arthur's desk, it must have fallen to the floor, it was a miracle he'd even been able to stretch enough to reach it. "I've got it." He cleared his throat for a moment before beginning, "The Ministry of Magic."

"Who wants to bet the door won't open?" Lupin grumbled, he'd been squashed before now, but the chair felt like a new insult digging into his stomach. No matter which way he moved, he couldn't budge an inch though with Regulus just as stuck, leaving Lily in her current predicament. "Who has an office this small, anyway? For two?" If even just James could get out they could all find a way to move an inch...

"Erm... Misuse of Muggle Artefacts, of course," the younger Black mumbled in near-exasperation. He must be somewhere that he can see something. Lily was slightly surprised not to hear a note of smug condescending in his voice at the mention of Muggles; instead, he sounded rather shocked and bewildered.

Harry's morning routine was uninterrupted until Black let out a snort at Tonks's exhaustion. "I stayed up for almost a whole week once, one night is nothing!"

"You'll do anything for a bad grade," Frank marveled, then read on quickly before more comments could be made.

Harry was given various pieces of good advice from the adults in his life, and Molly tried to mother him, despite his unvoiced wishes. Lily did not need anyone to tell her that Potter was likely ruffling up his hair again with an eternally smug look on his face as Molly tried to do the opposite to Harry.

Rather quickly, Mr. Weasley took Harry off to the Ministry with his endless fascination for Muggles and their things.

"Wait," Lily yelped, "this isn't his office, is it?" She felt slightly stupid for not realizing this earlier.

A moment of silence, and then Alice murmured, "oh, that poor man," and Sirius Black muttered, "so what nutter works with him?"

Lily would have thrown him a nasty look for that, but he seemed to guess at this anyway and quickly rectified, "not that that's a bad thing, but you do have to be kind of unusual to want to work with him."

"What're you implying about yourself, Padfoot?" Lupin demanded.

"Was just wondering that myself," Black's brother mumbled.

Harry was escorted inside the ministry by Mr. Weasley, who seemed to know everybody's names. Everything was going normally enough, until they entered the lifts-

Black gasped in horror, and Lupin, at least, from what Lily could see, slammed his head into the wall as the dramatic Black continued, "what nightmare is this future! They have laws about Sirius Breeding?!"

Lily gave a little snort of laughter, realizing too late the place was too small to go unnoticed when Potter yelped in true fright, "don't encourage him!"

The younger Black grumbled, "I've always said my greatest contribution to wizarding society would be a selective version of Silencio, so you can hear everything else he says but not that. Oh wait, what am I thinking, I should just silence all of him!"

Pettigrew snickered from the desk above her.

"I should be offended, but you just made a joke, so I'll pass," Sirius sighed. "The things you people do to me."

Frank finally snapped, "can you all let me read? I want to get out of here, you know!" His tone left Lily in less doubt than before that the rest of them are as cramped as she is.

So they all fell silent as Harry's experience of going up the Ministry lift was detailed. At one point, Frank paused just long enough to mutter about owls being used for only indoor flying, and if by 'used to' Mr. Weasley meant recently or not, and whether that was a thing in their own timeline, but kept going loudly before anyone could pick up on what he'd said.

Harry traveled through the Ministry, gawking at all the magical sights, which only Lily could appreciate, being the only Muggle-born in the group. It was noteworthy at one point Lupin shrank so far against the wall with a miserable look on his face the chair almost could have moved, and it took her repeating the level that Frank passed over so casually to remind herself why the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical creatures would cause a reaction in anyone. Lupin wasn't just anyone anymore though, but technically, well, a beast. The moment passed so quickly though, if she hadn't been watching him from her janky position, she never would have seen such a thing, and it did not feel her place at all to even bring it up. What was there to say?

The others were interested as well, of course, but more so when Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up again, acting as if he'd barely spoken to Mr. Weasley in his life.

Sirius again stalled the proceedings by loudly exclaiming over Kingsley's Sirius-plastered cubicle. "What a lovely thought, me on all sides! Why couldn't we have landed there?"

"Padfoot, he's hunting you!" Potter groaned in exasperation.

"Eh, he's only faking it, remember?" Sirius retorted, and fell into a smug silence that Lily could sense even from under the desk as the conversation continued to be stuck on Sirius with only whispered asides about the Order.

Then, Mr. Weasley led Harry to his office, which was slightly smaller than the broom cupboard, and Lily finally had her answer about the size of the space. "I can't believe they put him in here!" she exclaimed indignantly. "I can see Percy's point about his position in the Ministry, this is an absurd amount of disrespect to the man just because he works with Muggles!" She took a moment to wonder if it's Perkins's desk she was stuck under, and if so, then if Harry had been here, his feet would have been in her face. She grimaced.

Mr. Weasley babbled on about his work and regurgitating toilets, until his partner showed up with news about the trial.

Lupin tried to sit up from between the chair and the wall, and despite failing, his scowl was at nothing in here with a foul temper. "I can't believe them! They changed it on purpose!"

Mr. Weasley seems equally angry as he hurries Harry back to the lift and mutters about it the whole time. Finally, they arrive at the courtroom, and, of all things, Mr. Weasley sends Harry in alone.

Frank barely had the presence of mind to warn them of the end of the chapter before they were whisked away.

[calypsoff]

Twenty Seven. Part 2

I dipped out of that bitch quick as fuck, I ain’t waiting around, why would I and who am I waiting for. I found out that TJ is having a son and that is all I need to know; shit was weird though. To be in that environment, to be in that situation where people knew me, where I got pointed out and they wanted pictures with me, for what. I am not famous, my girlfriend is but me, no. I don’t do pictures with people, I am not there for me. I think that made me feel uncomfortable, so I wanted to leave, I’m glad I did. I’m just going to go home and and relax now, I did my thing. Tomorrow back to Texas and the Cali, it blows my mind that this is my life now. I am city to city, I am free. Like when I was living in VA, when I was here I felt locked and I had people after me, not saying I don’t have that now still, but I am happier and I feel less the need to hide, I always wanted to hide because I felt trapped within myself, I feel like my personality is coming back. The kid I was, being locked up crushed me, I was fucked up. I think maybe I was depressed, but Robyn has helped me. I can’t thank her enough, she has been my rock even though she is angry with me about going but nothing happened, there was no drama at all. Now I am home, I did try and call Robyn, but her phone was not on, she did say she was in rehearsals. I kind get like Seiko would have had me in the photos with her, like I felt she wanted that. She was edging towards me and stuff, I had to go because it was getting weird quick, it was getting a little too much for me anyways. All is well, I am happy and home because no drama happened today.

Closing the door behind me “is that you Chris!?” My mother asked “yeah” making my way into the living room “oh” my auntie is here, I’m sure she said she never wanted to see my face because of her son being where he is now “you look well” everyone keeps saying this “thanks” I mumbled “I am going to be in my room” I rather be there “sit with your auntie” oh this bitch doesn’t want me to sit, she wants to question me about how I am living life and her son isn’t “I’m cool” I waved her off “how is your girlfriend?” See I knew it “which one?” Laughing as I said that “I don’t see you as a cheater, I mean who cheats on Rihanna. Rihanna cheats on you, that’s how it goes” I shrugged “I don’t have one” I don’t like speaking about Rihanna, it’s not just not something I want to speak on to everyone “Chris, stop it now” taking in a deep breath “she’s good” I answered properly “I would get her pregnant, least you will get paid” who says that “least I can get a girl pregnant, can’t say that about your son. Tell him to google me” walking off, she can fuck off and die. Who the hell says that I expected my mom to tell me off for what I said but no. She knows that she did wrong, that was wrong of her when I didn’t attack her like she did me “going to bed already?” My sister asked at the top of the steps “you think I’m sitting with that, no way” shaking my head “did you go to the gender reveal then?” Nodding my head “it was nothing, went there and it was just nothing, saw a few people then came back here” my sister walked off rolling her eyes “surprised she let you go” how can they be surprised by that, it’s not a big deal.

Is it just me or my followers are going up, yes they are going up “that’s weird” I said to myself, my phone started to ring, the WhatsApp group is calling, answering the call “hey” placing it on speakerphone “I just want to say thank you both so much for coming, I decided to call my child Bhris. Include both of your names” TJ is dumb “man whatever, I came for you and now you owe for whenever I do need you. It’s funny right, I went to thats shit and come back to more followers, how does that even work out” it’s confusing “you getting titty pictures again?” I busted out laughing “man, I need to look in my messages, but I don’t know. I ain’t like that people was saying that I am Rihanna’ boyfriend like I am Chris, now shut up!” It’s so stupid “you were literally the day, fuck my child. People were hyping you up, oh that is Rihanna’ boyfriend. Is Rihanna coming and shit, bro. It was funny to see that anyways. They were shocked anyways, but check. See if you’re getting nudes”  I chuckled swiping up on my screen “yeah well I will check but I don’t know, I think it’s just people probably trying to be nosey to see Robyn” Barry and TJ love going through my messages, it’s because there is so many thirsty bitches in my messages talking shit and sending me nudes and saying they want to be my side bitch, like no I am good with that “ayo, oh shit. You remember that one chick. The big one? The one that sent me pussy pictures and it was scary as fuck, she in my messages again” TJ screamed out “yo, her pussy was big as fuck. I could wear that shit as a crown, is it full of females still!?” nodding my head “yep, they want a light skinned daddy I guess” I am just a regular nigga, these girls are doing the most.

Stifling out a yawn as I tapped on my tagged posts “uh, what the fuck” tapping on the first picture “what is it?” Barry asked “yo, please go in my tagged posts” looking at the page, this is Rihanna fans, why are they zooming in on my sweatpants like that, scrolling down to the caption ‘I see why my queen @badgalriri is with him! An Anaconda’ the caption states and I couldn’t help but laugh, that shit is fucking hilarious “no fucking way! I can see why Rih is with him, yooooo they are zooming in on your dick. But where is the actual picture” backing out of the picture, my tagged posts is full of my bulge, scrolling down and then there we have it. Tapping on the original picture “The Shade room!” TJ and I both said in unison “no fucking way!” Barry cackled “nigga you made it, oh shit, what is it” staring at the picture of me just stood staring, people were taking pictures. Swiping across, oh god not Kristie and I, that was harmless conversation “oh my god” how the hell they made this look bad, I was pointing at Seiko bump as I walked off, I told her good luck but that picture looks something else “Rihanna’ new boyfriend was caught attending his ex-girlfriend baby gender reveal, he was in high sprits talking to the ladies. Chris and his ex-girlfriend are friends, Chris denied any rumour that the baby is his but him attending the gender reveal without his girlfriend by his side seems a little off. Rihanna was last seen in California and looked less amused to be back, trouble in paradise?’ is this a joke “so that is why I am getting these follows, Robyn is going to kill me. It was all harmless” this is pathetic “another one from the party, why is people taking off guard pictures of you. Rihanna’s boyfriend, this is all they keep saying about you. You ain’t even Chris anymore” this is so fucking stupid.

Walking out of Giorgio Baldi, covering my face as the paparazzi took pictures, I have finished more rehearsals and thought I would have my meal with my manager and brothers that are here currently. Getting into the SUV, shuffling over in the seat to make space for my manager to get in. Tour is drawing so close and yet I skip over that one song, I have not rehearsed it being there, I skip it every time, it is too painful to do it. I feel like I am going to cry when I do it, nobody will ever know the pain I went through to finish off that tour in the first place. The pain of losing my baby, nobody will ever know, just the ones I want to know “that was eventful” Jay said, I am glad he spoke. I was about to cry “what was?” I asked “the meal, I like the way you are going and aiming for. I mean I was a little concerned at first, I was thinking where is Robyn’ mind at. She is doing no interviews; the album just gets released but the album is doing great. This tour will push it even more, it’s doing numbers. I can only see you going up, Queen Rihanna” I chuckled “what can I say, I try. But I am excited about this tour. It is my best one yet, the stage, the direction, the outfits. It is just me; you know. I feel comfortable” Jay clapped his hands “finally, we see eye to eye, but I am hype to see it in action for the first night” it will take my mind off a lot this tour.

Home sweet home “my feet hurt, my god” placing my bag on the kitchen counter “publicist” Tina held her phone up to me “really?” I said a little confused “mhm yes” taking the phone from her “hello” answering the phone “I have tried your phone, it’s off but there is something going around, a conversation from a clip that was taken. Chris was there, it’s very distorted and it’s talking about you getting pregnant. I am unsure, but the headline is baby on the way for Rihanna, is that at all true?” I am so confused “Chris said it!?” I spat “no, the other guy. The sound is not good, but he says about the line of Rih pregnant” I am going to blow “right, that is a lie. I am not pregnant” Mel’ eyes widened hearing that “Chris has made a lot of bad press about you being with him, it’s crazy ok. Bye” they disconnected the call “what did I say?” I said to Mel passing Tina’ phone back to her “you knew this would happen” nodding my head “now this is the drama that has happened, my phone is off apparently. I left it here, the battery might has died but this is on Chris, I knew this would happen. He wanted to go there and now look, just drama for nothing” sitting down on the bar stool “you think Chris will be calling you? Or has called you” I sniggered “I know my man, he will. I can bet you money. I know for a fact he is or has called me. Well my phone is off so he can’t contact me, he will assume I am angry” Mel’ phone started to ring “it’s Barry” Mel grinned, she is happy as fuck “hey boo” rolling my eyes, they are sickening already. I don’t like this “I am at home why?” Mel said, I guess I better go and get my phone to check on it. Maybe also charge it “yeah she’s here, we were out. Why are you asking? Has Chris done something wrong” Mel winked at me and then put the phone on speaker “no, he ain’t do anything wrong just wondering if Rihanna is ok” these niggas ain’t shit “but there must be a reason why?” Mel questioned “just Chris was saying Robyn is ignoring him, so just yeah. Nothing to do with us” shaking my head laughing, I just knew this would have happened, but it’s not even that I am ignoring him, just my phone died, and he assumes I know anything about it.

Mel came back into the kitchen as I continued to stuff my face full of fruit “so like I asked him again, I said did anything happen. What is up? Blah blah. He said oh nothing just that his words are being twisted and he is annoyed, what did you say about being pregnant? To your publicist?” Mel asked “oh erm a clip of Chris talking, something to do with a baby. I hope he hasn’t said that I was in any way like that, but the clip is distorted a lot so it’s a lot of assumptions about what was said, anyways I am going to charge my phone. But I told you, I said this would happen. I hate being right” sliding off the bar stool “I don’t think he would, he better not have. Have fun anyways” nodding my head as I took the plate with me, I cut this damn Melon for myself “Rorrey, we will be leaving in a few days so if you need to do anything do it now, you know I want someone here. Rajad, just do nothing” Rorrey snatched some Melon from my plate “asshole” I mean if my brother wasn’t doing this for me then I would have got a house sitter, it’s not good leaving a home like this alone. I mean a home I was forced into because I needed to prove a point to Chris that I do have a home.

As soon as my phone switched on, I am not even joking. No time for my notifications to come through Chris called, like he sensed it but I will pick up now. It’s a little too much to just ignore him because only god knows how long he’s been ringing “hello” answering the call “seriously Robyn!? Why is your phone off, that has really pissed me off” he sounds it “my phone died clearly, nothing bad” placing my phone on speakerphone “but it is bad Robyn, I got worried. I am sorry, damn!” I sniggered “what are you sorry about?” placing my phone on the bed laughing to myself “about the headlines, the shit that is being said about me. None of that happened” eating my Melon as I laid back smirking, I just knew this would happen “tell me more” I mumbled “but uh what is that about pregnant and me?” I pointed, I need to understand that “that shit was never said, TJ was speaking on he wants us to have a baby so we can open a day care, it was a joke. Nothing about you being pregnant. I am sorry, I just didn’t think that would happen. It’s fucked up” maybe now he will listen to me “mhmm right, so say this after me. Ready?” I said, I swear this boyfriend of mine will learn “what?” placing my Melon down “I am sorry Robyn, I will listen to you because you are always right. Say it and then you and I can move on and be free from the chains of an argument” the line went silent; I know for a fact he dislikes being wrong. He is going to be irritated but if he was a silent life he will “I said sorry already?” he said sounding all annoyed “and? When you are ready” I have a all night for him to say it “I am sorry Robyn, I will listen to you because you are always right. Dang, are you done?” I guess I have to forgive him “just know, I know what these blogs are like, so anyways. I hope you had a good time at a gender reveal” I know he regrets the mess “first I am Rihanna’s boyfriend and now this, damn” he is miserable, I am glad he is “I mean what else are you? Next time you will listen to me Chris” rolling my eyes.

[trensu]

Episode 43: The One where WWX is Soft for Children and Bunnies

we're still in the forbidden chamber

wwx has his detective cap on and is being clever

the lan bros are listening attentively as they should be

wwx: jgy is a sneaky conniving bastard blah blah he vandalizes evil music books blah blah

lots of boring plot talk basically

i'm sitting here like, *sigh* so pretty wwx so pretty

which is what i imagine lwj does all the time...

lol wwx goes to lxc and is like, no offense bro but jgy was a skilled spy during the war who was able to infiltrate and memorize wen ruohan's stuff in their secret chamber. invading this one would've been a piece of cake for him

and lxc is like well damn, guess i better test out all this evil music and see if it actually works

lxc: i'll just test the evil magic music on myself. yep. that way no one gets hurt and that couldn't possibly backfire on me at all

lwj: bro

lxc: bro. i gotta do this bro to clear my bae’s i mean friend's name

LOL lxc is like you all see jgy this way but i see him in a totally different way

YEAH WE KNOW, THAT'S THE PROBLEM

LOLOLOL OMG

lxc turns to gaze off into the middle distance and is like, the jgy in my heart is kind and benevolent blah blah

and behind him wwx crosses his arms and all but rolls his eyes LIKE DUDE YOU'RE COMING TO THE WRONG PERSON FOR SYMPATHY. I'M THE ONE THAT GOT KILLED FOR THINGS YOUR BF DID

oh this moment's interesting

lxc is like, can't you allow me to be cautious about making this decision? 

and lwj takes a step towards him, ready to speak but wwx grabs his upper arm and stops him with a shake of his head

the look lwj gives him just before that was like why are you stopping me?

but wwx knows this isn't something you can push

lwj trusts wwx's judgment and holds back whatever he was going to say

i'm curious as to what he WAS going to tell his brother tho

now lwj is leaving to talk to their uncle and lxc is like, sure i'll take your soulmate back to your room for you

WE'RE GONNA GET SOME BABY!LWJ FLASHBACKS SOON OMG

IT'S GONNA HURT

wwx: since lan zhan isn't here, i wanna ask you about something

lxc: tell me

wwx: what are the whipping scars on lan zhan?

lxc: you don't know?

AND THEIR SONG STARTS PLAYING

wwx: i asked him but he didn't wanna say, so i'm asking you

lxc: yeah, if he doesn't think it's necessary he'll probably never talk about it so i'll tell you instead of respecting my little brother's decisions about his personal life

AND OKAY I'M GLAD HE DID BC IT GIVES US WANGXIAN MOMENTS BUT STILL!! 

lxc: do you remember that one time when wn shot and killed your sister's husband?

on the one hand, HOW COULD HE FORGET but on the other hand, he forgets quite a lot of things actually...

lxc: after wq and the others turned themselves in...*cue flashback*

we're at the burial mounds, lwj is standing by himself before wwx's cave facing down a whole freaking squadron of cultivators

su she: *runs his mouth as if we actually care what he has to say*

lwj: *completely unfazed and expressionless* you are not qualified to speak to me

HELL FUCKING YEAH

WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW EPIC THIS MOMENT IS

LOOK AT LWJ OWN THAT ICE PRINCE PERSONA TO STRIKE DOWN AN IMPUDENT ANT OF A PERSON

su she goes to draw his sword AS IF HE HAS ANY REAL CHANCE OF DEFEATING HANGUANG JUN IN A SWORD FIGHT

but jgy shows up with even MORE cultivators and then does that thing where he compliments the person inconveniencing him and takes control of the situation

jgy: oh hanguang jun is so honorable let's not search wwx's secret cave lab right now

BUT THE GREAT THING IS THAT LWJ DOESN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE HIS PRESENCE

HE DOESN'T LOOK AT HIM OR SU SHE AT ALL

bc lwj is forever Better Than You.

fuck jgy

jgy: even if wwx is alive, the burial mounds is surrounded so there's no way he could come here without us noticing

he says this to lwj all mildly BUT YOU KNOW IT'S A THREAT

He bows (lwj STILL doesn't acknowledge him and it's GREAT) and walks away

then pauses (bc Drama) and is like oh, almost forgot, your uncle is waiting for you at the cloud recesses. And then he just leaves with all his cultivators

this is when lwj finally looks at jgy (or his back, at least since jgy is leaving)

We cut to the next scene that has lwj slamming the point of bichen in the the stone ground, arm bleeding

HE IS VISIBLY SWEATING AND TREMBLING

lxc: lwj made a mess and fought against everyone there

AND WE SEE LWJ FALL TO HIS KNEE, ONE ARM USING BICHEN AS SUPPORT WHILE THE OTHER RESTS ON THE GROUND

but the fall was gradual and jerky, like he was fighting it the whole way down. 

As if the only reason he fell is bc he's used up every ounce his strength and energy he had in his body

lxc: uncle burst into anger and took him back home, punishing him with 300 lashes and repenting in the cold pond cave for 3 years

we cut to the cloud recesses, camera shot from above making lwj, who is kneeling before his uncle and surrounded by disciples, look small AS ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING ON THE CELLO 

his uncle orders them to start beating lwj

AND LWJ TAKES IT LIKE A CHAMP

he barely moves with each strike and MAN THAT DISCIPLE IS NOT HOLDING BACK

oooh, we see him do that fist clench thing which looks even more painful without bichen to grip tbh

dude lwj is clenching his jaw so hard. 

like, he refuses to cry out in pain and it's gotta hurt bc he's bleeding already

lqr: what is rule 52 of the lan clan?

lwj: do not befriend evil

NO HESITATION. SAID IN A STRONG FIRM VOICE

AS IF HE WASN'T CURRENTLY GETTING BEATEN WITH A NIGHTMARE STICK

and lqr is all you have forgotten the fundamental laws of our clan, how can you have the nerve to face your ancestors like this!!

BUT LWJ IS NOT HAVING THAT

HE'LL TAKE THE BEATING BUT HE'S GOING TO MAKE HIS POINT

lwj: i dare ask you, grandmaster, who is right? who is wrong? what is black? what is white?

Bc our boy has learned! He’s learned NUANCE and CRITICAL THINKING and the existence of GRAY AREAS

BC WTF IS THE POINT OF ALL OF THESE STUPID RULES IF THEY DON'T PROTECT THE INNOCENT AND DEFENSELESS?

Bc his soulmate was right all along and he didn’t stand by him when he needed him most and now his soulmate is gone. His soulmate is gone. He’s GONE.

I'M GONNA MAKE MYSELF CRY

lqr: perfect! that's my good student

he does not say this happily. he is in fact SHOUTING this VERY ANGRILY

and here i wanna say, hey lqr, what's that rule about excessive noise...?

cue lwj's fist clench again, which sounds just as painful as the beating tbh

lqr: wangji, you have disappointed me

NOT AS MUCH AS YOU AND YOUR DAMN RULE-BOOK HAVE DISAPPOINTED HIM, YOU JERK

and here we see an ACTUAL VISIBLE SCOWL on our beautiful hanguang jun's face as he continues to be beaten

HOW ANGRY AND TORN UP MUST HE BE TO ACTUALLY SCOWL LIKE THAT??

cut to lwj kneeling at the ice table thing in the cold pond cave, robed in white and face blank but somehow still projecting an aura of cold fury

probably bc the rulebook open in front of him says "eradicate evil, establish laws, and goodness will be everlasting" and he knows that’s bullshit now

but actually this scene is visually very beautiful. 

It’s all in misty shades of pale cold blue and white and everything’s spaced out in a way to emphasize how very very alone lwj is

cut back to the present with wwx and lxc

wwx grips his flute with both hands and looks down like he can't believe what he's hearing

lxc: when lwj was imprisoned i tried to persuade him...but he told me he considered you his confidant soulmate and believed in your integrity

wwx: why would he bother…?

his brow is furrowed and his voice is soft like he truly doesn't seem to understand why lwj would bother to do all that

and on the one hand i wanna scream IT'S BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, YOU MORON

but on the other hand, everybody else in wwx's life, everyone else he loved, turned on him or died 

and he probably truly believes he deserved all that, and that he is undeserving of lwj's unwavering faith

and then i cry

lxc: do you know what this place is?

shot of the entrance to the silence room aka the jingshi aka lwj's room

wwx: i don't

lxc: it's where our mother lived

wwx is hanging off his every word

lxc: you might find it strange that the wife of the clan leader didn't live with her husband in the frigid chamber

with a name like that i wouldn't want to live there either...

lxc: you might know that our father used to isolate himself for years, not caring about anything...

Not even his sons, apparently!

wwx: i do

and he explains that his father isolated himself bc of his mother or whatever

lxc: this place was more of a prison than a home

It was his mother’s prison. When did he figure that out? Was it when HE WAS STILL A KID??

DID HE FEEL GUILTY FOR SPENDING TIME WITH HIS  MOTHER KNOWING SHE WAS LOCKED UP AGAINST HER WILL??

THE LAN FAM IS SO FUCKED UP OMG

now he's telling us the whole tragic love story

it was love at first sight, he says and wwx is like ah yes, a typical romance

and lxc is like, uh no, she didn't love him back and she murdered his teacher, idk why tho

lxc: but i guess it's all about right and wrong, love and hate

Which is a major theme of the whole show, tbh

OH DAMN

now he's telling wwx about how his dad took his mom to cloud recesses and married her against the clan's approval and that he told them that this was the person he would love for a lifetime, that “whoever tried to drive her out would have to go through him first"

DOES ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR TO YOU, WWX?

RINGING ANY (WEDDING) BELLS?

DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF ANYTHING AT ALL, WWX?

"after the wedding my father built this house, and locked my mother up"

lxc says this all so calmly and gently, as if he were reading from a story book rather than reciting his immediate family's history

Which is probably a coping mechanism, tbh

this fam is so fucked up, have i mentioned?

lxc: do you understand why my father did all this?

wwx: *nod*

lxc: and do you think he did the right thing?

wwx: i don't know

well, i mean, he married her and locked her up against her will

granted she did murder someone but i get the feeling she probably had good reason to

and now he's telling wwx that they basically had no parents bc they were given off to others to raise them until they were old enough to attend their uncle's lessons

FLASHBACK TO BABY!LWJ READING TO HIS MAMA FROM A LAN CLAN BOOK

HE'S SO CUTE AND TINY AND HIS MAMA IS SO SOFT AND PRETTY. 

SHE LOOKS AT HIM WITH SUCH LOVE, AND RUNS HER HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR SO GENTLY

lxc makes a point here to say that their mother never complained about her imprisonment or how painful it must've been to be trapped like that

BC THEIR MAMA LOVED THEM

lxc: lwj never said anything, but i knew he looked forward to the day we visited mother every month

HOW AWFUL IS THAT, TO BE RESTRICTED TO ONE DAY A MONTH TO SPEND WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE???

Lxc: he did (look forward to seeing mom). and so did i.

cut to baby lwj kneeling in the snow, all little and by himself IN FRONT OF THE JINGSHI, AKA HIS MOM’S PRISON AKA PROBABLY HIS FAVORITE PLACE IN ALL THE CLOUD RECESSES

lxc: one day, uncle told us that we didn't need to go there anymore. mother had gone.

I'M GONNA CRY

HE'S SO LITTLE AND SAD AND HE'S KNEELING SO STILL WITH HIS TINY HANDS IN HIS LAP

like even lqr is moved bc he goes and puts a hand on his shoulder

lxc: we were too young to understand what that meant.

lxc: no matter how others consoled us or how uncle scolded him, lwj still came here every month. he would sit on that porch and wait for someone to open the door.

I'M SOBBING

LWJ HAS SPENT HIS WHOLE LIFE WAITING FOR THE PEOPLE HE LOVES

He’s kept himself still and stalwart ever since he was a kid so that if his loved one chose to come back, he’d still be there for them 

I'M HURTING SO MUCH

HE JUST WANTED THEM TO COME BACK AND THINK HE WAS WORTH STAYING FOR. 

GOD I HATE CRYING. I'M A SNOTTY MESS RN

Lxc: when we got older we realized that she would never come back. that no one would ever open the door for him. but he still came.

FUCK

GOD DAMN IT

STOP HURTING ME SO MUCH, WHAT THE HELL

lxc: lwj has always been stubborn since he was very young

lxc: back then, he watched you learn crafty tricks. he didn't say anything, but i knew...that the pain and confusion in his heart was the same as what he felt for our mother

MY GOD, JUST BEAT ME WITH THOSE NIGHTMARE STICKS INSTEAD. THAT WOULD HURT LESS THAN THIS.

wwx's eyes are all red-rimmed and his brow is all pinches and HE JUST SWALLOWED BACK THE LUMP IN HIS THROAT

THE SAME ONE I HAVE RIGHT NOW AS I CRY AND CRY AND CRY

and lxc is like, well, that's enough intense conversation for now, imma do a flute solo

~flute sounds~

and now he's like i tried to persuade lwj before but now that i'm in his shoes it turns out making a decision isn't actually easy to do?? who'd have thought?

oh here comes lwj, all straight-backed and regal as always but no jewelry in his hair! no topknot! he looks so different this way

AND HE HAS TWO JARS OF EMPEROR'S SMILE WITH HIM

AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS PLAYING AGAIN

oh, the way he holds it out to wwx, like an offering at an altar...

cut to inside the jingshi, we get to see him uncap one of the jars and pour a drink out for his soulmate. 

like, the camera is specifically focused on his hands

which, hey, i’ve seen the tags ppl, i know some of you are Into That so take the time to enjoy this

then we get a shot of all of him and he looks so so soft and exposed and vulnerable  here?? with his hair down in his own room, pouring a drink for his wei ying

it's beautiful

wwx walks in and watches as lwj starts to pour himself a cup of tea

THIS IS A LOT. 

~Their Song~ playing sweetly, no other sounds except the quiet clinks of the cups and teapot. And all of lwj’s actions are just...light

wwx: lan zhan…

GOD I JUST WANT TO SCREENCAP THIS WHOLE SCENE

the shot of lwj here, while he’s focused on pouring his tea. 

the way his head is angled and the wisps of his hair frame his face. 

he takes up a good portion of the screen without seeming domineering or forceful, just...peacefully existing in the space

and then we cut back to wwx's face, his mouth open as he takes a breath 

He wants to say something, anything, but you can see on his face that he can't make the words come

Like he doesn’t want to disturb the moment with whatever he was going to say, bc it’s a fragile moment

and then this brief literally-2-seconds shot of lwj to the right, sitting at the table 

the table is set up so beautifully with the jars of emperor's smile and their cups. and he's looking up and the lighting AND AHHHHHH

IT'S JUST A VERY BEAUTIFUL TWO SECONDS AND I'VE STARED AT IT FOR MUCH TOO LONG ALREADY

lwj: what?

and wwx can't even really return his gaze. he looks just as vulnerable here but, unlike lwj, he also looks awkward, like he’s nervous in his vulnerability same ,wwx, same

wwx tries to say thank you but it comes out stuttered and soft while lwj watches him patiently

wwx mumbles to himself "it's awkward to say it out loud" and his eyes flicker back and forth for a second as his mouth pinches, agitated 

BC IT IS MEGA AWKWARD

FEELINGS ARE AWKWARD

AND AS LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS WWX CAN BE, IT'S NEVER ABOUT HIS FEELINGS.

wwx: *clears throat* i mean...the burden on your brother's shoulders is tremendous

smooth transition, wwx, very smooth

but at least it allowed him the chance to sit at the table with lwj

wwx: after all, jgy is his sworn brother. if i were him...

he trails off awkwardly and it feels even MORE awkward bc the background music just ends suddenly and it's silent for us, the audience

lwj doesn't say anything and instead gently moves the cup of wine towards wwx.

once that's done he says "if there's evidence, my brother won't tolerate it."

but he doesn't look at wwx and his face is somber

wwx: that's true. he's got his principles

finally lwj looks at him

lwj: you didn't tell him.

wwx: tell him what?

lwj: about the flute on qiongqi way

wwx: you know about that?

lwj: i asked wen ning. he said he heard a second flute

wwx: i thought i was hearing things until nightless city *insert flashback here*

cut to next scene. wwx is standing just outside the jingshi doors with a jar in his hand as it snows

lwj steps up next to him and ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING

they're still talking about the flute and how wwx is confident now that there was a second one used to frame him basically. he's quietly angry here.

lwj immediately says it was jgy but wwx responds with "maybe, maybe not"

lwj looks at him, "you don't want to know the answer?"

bc lwj does. he wants to know who framed his soulmate, causing the suffering that lead to his death

wwx: at first i really wanted to but now i just want to say, 'whatever. screw it!'

he says with a laugh and then takes a swig from his wine jar

wwx put down that wine jar, you've obviously had too much already.

wwx: lan zhan, i actually think whether i know the answer or not won't be of much importance for me. after all, in ppl's minds, the yiling patriarch did bad things. even if i expressed my grievances, people still won't trust me

and he smiles

MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY

He says, "Sometimes the world only needs an excuse or target that everyone can hate"

PAINFULLY TRUE

and then he says something along the lines that it doesn't matter, if he wasn't made the target, someone else would have been

BASICALLY HE'S JUST VERY DISILLUSIONED HERE 

THE WORLD SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED FOR DISAPPOINTING HIM

now we hear the sound of a guqin playing ~Their Song~

lwj at his guqin playing their song to soothe his soulmate

wwx: *voiceover* i was lonely back then. the few who believed in me were dead, wen ning, jyl. Luckily…

and here we get the crescendo of the opening theme as we cut to lwj. 

the voiceover changes from wwx to lwj

lwj: in this world, there is still someone who trust you

I'M HAVING A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW

voiceover switches back to wwx and we get a shot of wwx watching lwj play

wwx: lan zhan, i toast to you. i'm glad to have one true friend

SO MANY FEELINGS

and then i get distracted as wwx does that thing where he pours wine into his mouth and spills half of it down his VERY INDECENTLY EXPOSED THROAT

shot of lwj thinking: for nothing else but a clean conscience

shot of wwx thinking: no matter how they slander me, i know i have a clean conscience

EVEN THEIR THOUGHTS ARE IN SYNC OMG

AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS STILL PLAYING BUT NOW IT'S THE GUQIN AND THE FLUTE COMING TOGETHER

wwx gazes tenderly at lwj and whispers: lan zhan. i'm sorry...and thank you

AND WE GET THE ACTORS’ VOCALS ADDED IN TO ~THEIR SONG~ AS LWJ LOOKS UP AND SEES WWX WATCHING HIM

AND I'M HAVING SO MANY FEELINGS

I WOULD LIKE TO GET DISTRACTED BY WWX'S INDECENTLY EXPOSED THROAT AGIAN PLZ

cut to the next day with lxc meditating and our boys hiding behind a privacy screen

lwj is in perfect posture, eyes closed and meditating calmly while wwx keeps listing to the side and jolting awake bc meditating IS FOR NERDS

lol except this time he lists to the opposite side and falls into lwj's shoulder with a cute little gasp

lwj gives him a look and wwx quickly arranges himself into a sloppy lotus pose

jgy walks in and our boys are immediately on alert peeking through the privacy screen 

(which actually isn't all that private. you can see through half of it??)

now we get a moment for lxc and jgy in which jgy returns the jade token and it’s, like, a Thing

BUT WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM

LET'S SEE OUR BOYS' REACTION TO WHAT JGY HAS TO SAY

wwx is watching lwj as jgy says something about how they don't have info on lwj and wwx yet and lwj closes his eyes against the news

i think he's upset he's placed his brother in this position...

now we're informed that there are active puppets in the burial mounds

lxc is like, well it can't be wwx bc he was stabbed

and jgy is like he's been stabbed before and controlled puppets alright then!

meanwhile wwx behind the screen scoffs and thinks "they think too highly of me"

also, like, jgy was trying to get lxc to give them up by saying how lwj would be safe bc of his great reputation

Honestly, it really just goes to show that these people don't actually care about your actions. they've made their assumptions and they'll stick to them no matter what and IT'S SUPER FRUSTRATING

plot talk plot talk sworn trio moment plot talk

now lxc is off to carp tower while our boys prepare for a field trip to the burial mounds

LIL APPLE AND THE BUNNIES!!

our boys are by a stream and there's bunnies all over the place and wwx is telling lil apple they're leaving

~THEIR SONG~ STARTS UP AGAIN

AHHHHHHHHH, LOOOK!!! THERE’S TEENY TINY SMILE ON LWJ'S FACE AS HE PUTS DOWN BICHEN TO PICK UP ONE OF THE BUNNIES

EVERYTHING IS ADORABLE

WWX GETS THAT LITTLE MISCHIEVOUS SMILE ON HIS FACE AS HE GOES TO POKE THE BUNNY

AND HE MAKES SILLY NOISES AT IT AND IS ALL INSULTED THAT THE BUNNY DOESN'T REACT

SO CUTE!!

wwx: see? they only like you *pout* they're only loyal to their owner

so lwj wordlessly hands over the bunny BC IF HIS SOULMATE WANTS BUNNIES, HIS SOULMATE IS GETTING BUNNIES

the bunny wriggles and wwx is like "don't try to run. you can never run away from me. stay here bunny!"

IT'S SO CUTE I'M GONNA DIE

HE'S JUST PETTING THE BUNNY ALL OVER AND USING A PLAYFUL VOICE WHILE TALKING TO IT AND EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL

Don’t be jealous of a bunny don’t be jealous of a bunny don’t be jealous of a bunny

wwx looks over to lwj: lan zhan, it's so strange. i know we're going on a dangerous mission but i don't feel scared at all

then he goes back to the bunny and wiggles it around SO CUTELY: do you think it's strange too? what do you think?

AND HE'S GOT THE BIGGEST SMILE

lwj: it's getting late. let's go

wwx: okay *pets bunny* little bunny, we're leaving~

THIS SHOW SHOULD ONLY EVER BE ABOUT BUNNIES, I'VE DECIDED

BUNNIES DON'T HURT ME 

now we cut to them at the entrance of the cloud recesses

lil apple is being stubborn and the bunnies are on the steps

wwx: they hate to see you go.

and wwx looks at lwj all playfully

wwx: i never thought that hanguang jun would be so popular among the little animals

and then he finishes with AN ADORABLE LITTLE POUT: bc i'm not

lwj: why not?

wwx: all little animals regardless of their habitat run when they see me. isn't that right lil apple? *proceeds to bully the donkey*

lwj: *walks off bc he does not condone animal abuse or smth*

wwx: wait for me hanguang jun!!

NOW WE'RE ON A DIRT PATH

LWJ IS HOLDING THE LIL APPLE'S LEAD WHILE WWX RIDES LIL APPLE

HE’S PLAYING HIS FLUTE AND THEN STARTS PLAYING ~THEIR SONG~!!!!

AND LWJ LOOKS TOWARDS HIM HIS EYES ALL TENDER AND FULL OF LOVE

WWX IS SMILING WHILE HE PLAYS

EVERYTHING IS STILL WONDERFUL

LWJ HAS ONE OF HIS ALMOST-SMILES ON HIS FACE

wwx: lan zhan, i wanna know, back in the murder turtle cave, what was the name of the song you sang to me?

lwj: why do you ask?

wwx: just tell me the name. i think i've figured out how you recognized me

wwx: tell me what song it is. who's the composer?

lwj: me

wwx: so you composed it?!

lwj: hm

wwx: what's the name then?

THIS IS SUCH A CAREFREE PLEASANT CONVERSATION AND I LOVE IT

lwj: what do you think?

wwx: you're asking my opinion?

he gets this huge smile on his face and giggles

wwx: i think i'll call it...

lwj: i'm thirsty, let's look for water

IT'S RUDE TO INTERRUPT LWJ

they find a random house and wwx proceeds to steal a melon

but they're interrupted so they hide like the CRIMINALS THEY ARE lol

and we see mr & mrs mianmian with little mianmian!!

mr mianmian is all if you run off again the yiling patriarch will eat you!

little mianmian is like I'M NOT SCARED, mama says the yiling patriarch doesn’t bully good people

and that's how mianmian and her husband and daughter get guaranteed invites to their future wedding

we cut to wwx and lwj 

wwx is nodding enthusiastically like THAT'S RIGHT, I DON'T HURT INNOCENT PEOPLE, IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT'S ACKNOWLEDGED

ohhhhh really liking how mianmian draws her sword and demands the criminals to show themselves

Lol, she's like WHO'S THERE? and wwx literally answers, UM, NO ONE??

lwj purses his lips like, really?? and comes out of hiding

Mianmian is shocked to find hanguang jun hiding on her property obvs, but is also excited to recognize wwx

wwx: *internally* why does this lady know me?? did she have a problem with me or did i provoke her??

then wwx recognizes her!! he's very excited about it!

and we end the episode on a high note there!!

We get to see the only functional, happy (and alive) marriage in the entire cultivation world!!

And yeah, we got our hearts torn out by kid!lwj but we were rewarded with soft domesticity AND bunnies right after!!!

Overall good quality wangxiantics

Return to Masterpost

[plomujio]

Ambush

Tommy, Joel and I were in patrol not far from Jackson when we suddenly heard some infected coming close to us. They seemed to be a lot. We got off our horses and we crouched behind a rock. I asked them a question :

"You think this is an horde ?"

"I think so. They are at the pursuit of someone." Answered Joel calmly.

We drew our guns and we waited for someone to show up. After a while we saw a girl going out of the wire fence. It was a blond woman, muscular and with a beanie. She was pursuing by the horde. I was going to get on my horse "Buck" but I saw Joel and Tommy rushing at the infected and helping her. I aimed at the infected and I shot. Joel led us to a house and I closed the door. The infected were charging at the door and suddenly we heard a clicker.

"Joel and I will clear the exit. You two, you kill them."

I answered to Tommy while I was already shooting on the infected.

"Alright."

I saw the woman shooting and them too and I frowned. I have a bad presentiment about her and it's strange that Joel who is the one who believe in none, help her. We kept shooting at the infected and after a while Joel and Tommy told us to join them. We pushed the cable car and we left the house for kept running into the snow then Tommy led us to an another house. We entered and Joel and I barricaded the door. Tommy approached the girl and he started talking to her :

"Hey. I'm Tommy. That's Joel and that's Zoya."

I saw Abby make a weird face when she heard Joel's name. It's like she recognized him because of his name but Joel and Tommy seemed to ignore it. So Tommy kept talking to her :

"What's your name ?"

"Abby."

"Abby, are you okay ?" Continued Tommy trying to calm her.

We turned back to the door due to the noises because of the infected who were trying to enter.

"That ain't gonna hold. We gotta go back." Started Joel aiming with his gun at the door.

"We ain't gonna outrun them all the way to Jackson. We need to barricade this door." Said Tommy disagreeing with Joel.

Suddenly we saw a chair who was barricading another door fall.

"Joel is right. We have to go. Now !" I said to Tommy.

"We cannot stay here !" Said Joel to Tommy for trying to convince him.

"The horses ain't makin' it all that way--"

"My friends ! My friends are at a mansion just north of here. It's fenced in. We have the whole perimeter secure." Said Abby quickly.

"It's the Baldwin place." Answered Joel and I at the same time.

"That could work." Continues Joel.

"All right I get the door." Said Tommy.

"All right, you ride with me. C'mon." Said Joel to Abby.

We left the house by another door and we get on our horses. We left the area and we killed some infected from the horde while we were going at the Baldwin place. I still don't trust this Abby. I feel it in guts that something terrible is about to happened. We finally arrived at the mansion and we heard some guys saying us to hurry up we entered and they closed the front gate. They shot some infected and then a guy burned them with a Molotov cocktail.

"Let's get inside." Said the one with the Molotov cocktail.

Abby get off Joel's horse first and she waited for us to get off too. Then she led us to the mansion. We entered and we tied our horses. I looked at Abby who was talking with a guy with a long beard and a girl started talking to us.

"How you guys doin' ?"

"We're good, thanks." Answered Tommy.

"Yeah."

"You wanna get those saddles off ?" Asked us the girl.

"No, no, that's all right. We'll just ride out the storm and get out of your hair." Said Joel while I was still looking at Abby who was talking with the pyromaniac.

"Y'all got any brushes or a towel or anything ?" Asked Tommy to the girl.

I saw Abby leaving the room with the guy and I grabbed Joel by the arm and I started whispering to him.

"We should leave."

"What ? Why ?" Asked me Joel confused.

"I don't trust them. What if it's an ambush ?" I said looking at him and I could saw that Joel was thinking about that too.

"She was pursuing by an horde. I don't think that this is an ambush but I think that we should be careful." Said Joel while he was leaving so I grabbed him again by his shoulder and I made him turn over.

"I saw her start with surprise when she heard your name. I think she already knows you."

Joel sighed in silence and Abby's friends led us to another room.

"How long you all been here ?" Asked Joel.

"Since yesterday." Answered the man with a long beard.

"Yesterday."

"Yep."

"What are y'all doing out this way ?" Asked Joel again.

"Oh just passing through. You three live nearby ?"

"Yeah." I answered to the man without really wanted to explain where was our town.

"We do. A few hours down the hill. Y'all should come back with us. Restock before you head out." Said Tommy credulous.

I signalled him to stop but he hasn't saw me. I looked at Abby who was already looking at me and I was ready to drew my gun but she looked away like she hasn't saw anything.

"Appreciate it. I'm Mel, by the way." Answered him a woman who shook hands.

"Tommy. This is my friend, Zoya and this is my brother." Started Tommy.

"Joel." Finished Joel and I saw all of them looking at Joel.

"Y'all act like you've heard of us or something." Continued Joel, totally lost.

"That's' cause they have." Said Abby.

I turned back to see her and I saw her with a shotgun. She shot in Joel's leg and he fell on the ground.

"No !" Yelled Tommy trying to struggle while a two guys were holding him. The girl approached and she knocked him with her butt's gun and he fainted while that I drew my gun and I shot in the shoulder of a man. He yelled in pain and I tried to shot another guy but Abby grabbed my arm and she gave me an headbutt and I fell on the ground. I could felt that my nose was broken but I didn't care. I could heard Joel calling for Tommy and I. I took the knife who was in a sheath on someone's leg and I stabbed his or her leg with the knife. The girl mumbled and then she tried to take the knife from my hands and she put her foot to my throat so I couldn't breathe anymore but when she knelt for taking the knife I put it in her head. I heard the others who were initially tying Joel looked at me and they stopped. Mel ran to the girl who was dead and she looked at me then at Abby. Abby nodded and they caught me by my arms and they pressed me against the wall.

"How are you Joel ?" I asked to Joel with a laugh knowing that we were close to the death.

"Shut up !" Said Abby, angry.

"You're a bitch." I said laughing at her.

"Don't after him, it's you." Answered me Abby.

I saw her approach Joel who was pressed against the wall by two guys.

"Joel Miller..." Said Abby to him.

I looked surprised at him and Joel too because she doesn't only know his first name, she also know her family name. I looked at Joel who seemed as lost as me.

"Who are you ?" Asked Joel to her.

"Guess."

Joel looked at all of them and after a while he seemed to understand who they were.

"Why don't you say whatever speech you've got rehearsed and get this over with." Said Joel, angry and in pain.

She stood up and she gave her shotgun to a man.

"Tourniquet his leg." She said to Mel who was aiming at Joel.

Mel seemed lost and she looked at Abby confused. Even I, didn't understand where all of this were going. I just hoped that Jesse, Ellie, Dina or anybody else could be there to save us. I looked at Tommy who was still unconscious.

"Do it !" Said Abby when she saw that Mel wasn't moving.

Mel came closer to Joel and she healed his leg but behind I could saw that Abby was taking something. Abby approached him and I finally saw what she had in her hands.

"Clear out." Abby said.

All of her friends released Joel.

"You stupid old man..."

"Don't you fucking dare !" I shouted at her.

She didn't listen to me and she just raised her golf club ready to hit him.

"You don't get to rush this."

"No !" I yelled at her in tears.

I saw her hitting Joel with the golf club in the face. She kept hitting him again and again and I took the last knife that I had who was in his sheath on my belt behind my coat. I know that I couldn't killed Abby because there was still a guy who was holding me so I stabbed him in his throat and I saw a man drew his gun so I threw my knife in his head and he fell on the ground. I tried to stood up but I was still knocked. So the beard guy put my his gun in my forehead and he was very close to pull the trigger but Abby stopped him.

"Stop Manny. We'll make her pay after but you can shot her in her stomach, like that she won't move anymore. I want her to see him die. So I will make it very slowly."

Manny lowered his gun and then he shot me in the stomach. I yelled in pain and could heard Joel calling my name weakly and then she kept hitting him, I yelled and I cried but she kept doing it but then suddenly I saw the door opening slowly. I saw Ellie with her gun and she tried to shoot on Abby but a guy caught her hand and he disarmed her while falling on the ground. Ellie took her knife and she cut his cheek but another boy hurled itself at her and Nora helped him. They pinned down Ellie and she struggled.

"Get off me ! Get the fuck off me !" Yelled Ellie at them.

The man with the cut cheek punched her with his foot in her stomach and Manny caught him and calm him down.

"You're gonna fucking die !" Shouted Ellie and I cried even more because at this moment I knew that no one will come to save us and Ellie will be there to save him. Ellie and I are great friends. We have the same age so when she arrived to Jackson, I was the first to be friend with her and then she became friends with Dina and Jesse. We are quartet but I'm also very friend with Joel. He learned me how to do archery because before I was only good for rush in as I was good with hand-to-hand and knifes.

The pyromaniac arrived and asked for explanations.

"What's going on ?"

"Let him go !" Yelled Ellie at them.

"Who is that ?" Asked the man at Abby.

"She snuck in..." Answered Nora.

"Why aren't you posted up outside ?" Yelled the man while showing at Ellie.

"Because you're all stupid and anyway she would have killed all of you." I said to them which seems to irritate them even more but they didn't answer me.

"We didn't think anyone was going to show up, Owen."

"Well surprise." I mumbled in pain with a little laugh.

"You, You shut up or I put a bullet into your brain." Said Manny.

"Stop talking do it." I said provoking him.

He approached me, raised his gun to my head but Abby repelled him.

"Joel first."

Manny nodded and he put his gun down.

"We gotta get out of here before the whole town's on top of us." Continued Owen.

"You're done." Said Owen to Abby.

"You want what I want, right ?" Answered Abby.

"End it. Now." Replied Owen.

"Don't do this. Please !" I said to them trying to save Joel but I couldn't moved and I felt that I was weak.

"Joel, get up." Begged Ellie.

"Joel, fucking get up."

"Please stop !"

"Please don't do this..."

"Joel, please get up !"

Ellie kept talking but Abby raised her golf club and she hit Joel and she finished him off. I closed my eyes during the whole scene but I could hear the noises when Abby was hitting him.

"Nooo !" Ellie yelled in tears.*

I saw Manny spat on Joel and I got angry. I could also heard Ellie who was yelling at them.

"I'll fucking kill you..."

Manny approached her, he took his gun and he was about to kill her.

"Stop that." I begged them indistinctly.

The pyromaniac stopped him and they entered in a discussion for knowing if this was right to kill her and then suddenly they remember that I was still here.

"We don't have to kill her or Tommy but this one it's an obligation. She killed three of us." Said Owen showing at me.

"And I wished that I've killed more of you." I said with a little laugh but it immediately hurt me even more.

Abby approached me and she pressed her foot against my stomach. I mumbled in pain and I could still heard Ellie who was insulting them. Then Abby knelt down and she looked at me.

"Why are you doing this ? And who the hell are you ?" I whispered to her because I couldn't raised my voice.

"I think that you have certainly heard of this hospital incident." She said whispering too. Our voices were covering by the voice of Ellie and Abby's friends. I nodded yes at her question. I know this incident because Joel told me during a practice lesson.

"He killed my father. I wanted revenge for what he did since four years and I finally got it." Explained Abby.

"And now you killed this girl's dad. How do you feel to be like your dad's killer ?" I asked her very serious but she didn't answer me so I kept talking praying for someone to come.

"At least Joel did it for saving this girl who he considered like his own daughter but you... You did it only for revenge. That's pathetic." I said laughing at her.

The others were looking at me like I was crazy and Abby pointed her gun on me. She was about to shoot when I talked :

"So he kill your dad and he got torture for what he did but I kill three of your friends and you will just kill me with a bullet into the brain. I'm disappointed." I said provoking her. I saw her holding her gun strongly and then she threw it on the ground.

"You shouldn't have talked." She took a machete and then without warning she cut my hand. I suppressed my scream for provoking her but I cried a lot. She seemed to be even more angry.

"Alright." Said Abby and then she took a flamethrower and she started to using it on my skin beginning with my arm. I screamed and yelled so much and I could heard Ellie crying and screaming and then Abby stopped the flamethrower. I cannot breathe anymore and it was like all of my skin was burning and then she took a knife and she put it on my throat. I suffocated and collapsed on the ground. The last thing that I heard and saw was Ellie :

"Zoya ! " Ellie yelled in pain.

"I will find you and I will kill all of you very slowly."

And I saw Manny knocking Ellie out.

[ericsonclan]

An Un (Breakable) Promise

Summary: Sophie and Minnie make a promise to look out and protect the other street rats.

Word Count: 2784

Read on AO3:

“Come on, come on! Hurry up, Soph!” Violet called out as she dangled upside down. Her arms were outstretched as her legs hooked onto the wooden beams of the balcony. The redhead nodded and dashed forward. With a mighty jump she clutched onto her friend’s hand and got up to safety.

“Fucking shit!” Mitch’s voice rang out as he sprinted forward with the motherload of food: two loaves of the finest bread in all of Newhaven Landing. The street rat scampered forward, the rough roads of the port town tearing up his feet as he outran a few angry guards.

“Mitch!” Sophie yelled before she dangled upside down to help him up. Mitch was about to take her up on that offer when he noticed that he hadn’t created that much distance between the others and the guards. Without a second thought Mitch tossed up the two loaves to Sophie who caught them with ease. “Mitch? What-”

“That dumbass is trying to be a hero,” Violet muttered angrily and nodded towards the two guards that were looming over Mitch.

“Shit!” Sophie looked around for any way to get to her friend as fast as she could. That's when the redhead spotted the ropes that stood between the two buildings. If she timed it right, she could land on one of the guards down below. Sophie summoned up her courage and tucked the bread under her arms before she made her way over. Violet followed her friend’s movement and picked up her plan, quickly joining her. Soon the two streets rats were above the guards who were having more fun that they should have as they hit Mitch.

“Should’ve stayed in your little corner, street rat,” A guard curled his fist and punched Mitch in the face again.

“These rats never learn though. That's why sometimes you have to use force,” the other guard laughed.

Violet’s frown deepened at the sight. She didn’t bother waiting before she hopped down and attacked the first guard. Sophie smiled widely and crowed up to the sky before she jumped down as well onto the other guard. She landed hard on the guard’s back, causing him to stumble forward. Sophie gripped his shoulder and spun him around.

“Guess you have three rats to deal with now!” She smiled confidently and sent her fist crashing into his stomach. The movement made the bread fall free from its place and Sophie quickly caught it before dodging an attack. She couldn’t risk losing the food. Violet was busy dancing around her opponent, dodging his attacks before landing quick punches of her own.

“Fuckin’ A!” Mitch ran forward and grabbed the guard’s face who was bugging Sophie and sent it colliding against his knee. “Glad you two showed up!”

“Who else is going to save your sorry ass?” Violet grunted and punched the guard in the side, making him keel over and leaving his face free for an attack. Planting her left foot into the dirt, she sent a harsh punch to the guard’s face. The three street rats smiled at each other and exchanged high fives. Mitch took the loaves of bread from Sophie and was about to thank her when suddenly two more guards appeared from the shadows.

“What’s going on here?” one asked as they saw the two unconscious guards on the ground. The guards reached for their weapons which made the three street rats’ blood run cold. Now the fight could turn deadly. It seemed like too big of a risk to face off against them. Suddenly Sophie spotted someone else in the shadows. Minnie snuck forward and kicked out the two guards’ knees before grabbing their heads and slamming them together. The guards crumbled and Minnie smiled warmly at her friends.

“That was so badass!” Sophie ran forward and wrapped her twin in a hug, spinning her around.

“Shit, gotta step up my game now,” Mitch spit out some blood then wiped the blood from his nose onto the sleeve of his shirt.

“Thanks for that save,” Violet smiled warmly at Minnie who got overwhelmed and looked away.

“It’s no big deal,” Minnie’s face was growing red. She glanced over at Sophie who had a teasing expression on her face. Minnie playfully elbowed her sister and the two started to laugh. “Well, we should head back,” Minnie stated after a minute. “Willy, Tenn and I were getting really worried about you three since you were gone for so long,”

“Let’s not keep them waiting then!’ Sophie spun around on her heel which quickly became caked in mud. The four all nodded in agreement and within seconds they were off to the small corner of the town they called home. There Willy and Tenn were impatiently waiting for them. Willy had a stick in his hand in case any guards came into their hideout to cause trouble while Tenn was busy trying to get the rough old potato sacks all set up for the older street rats’ arrival.

“I see them!’ Willy hopped up and down with a toothy grin. Tenn’s head shot up and he searched around, quickly spotting his sisters first. He ran forward along with Willy to go greet them. Sophie laughed and ran forward, sweeping her brother in and hugging him and spinning him around before Minnie ran forward and tackled her siblings in a hug as well. Willy ran up and nearly knocked over Violet with a hug before going to do the same with Mitch when he spotted the loaves of bread.

“You got two loaves!” Willy clutched the sides of his head and did a little dance.

“Yep! It was all thanks to me!” Mitch smiled smugly before his side got jabbed by Violet. “Ow, fuck, fine! It was thanks to all of us.”

“That’s right! So we get to feast today!” Sophie declared loudly and the six of them sat around on the potato sacks and enjoyed the treats they had stolen. Sophie and Minnie gave up parts of their portions to Tenn even though he said it was okay. Violet and Mitch shared a look and broke off some of their portion to give to Willy who accepted it gratefully and scarfed it down. After the food was consumed Mitch and Violet went off to spend some time cloud gazing on the roof together while Minnie and Sophie stayed with Tenn and Willy. Tenn and Willy quickly became tired after the meal and soon were asleep in the twins’ arms.

“That was a pretty good haul today,” Sophie smiled softly over at Minnie while she held Tenn in her arms.

“Yeah,” Minnie held Willy close and leaned her head against the cool brick of the wall. “Gotta be more careful though,” Her eyes wandered up to the two sets of dangling feet on the rooftop.

“Yeah, definitely need to make sure none of us get hurt again,” Sophie’s eyes fell and she stared at her brother for a moment. Minnie was quiet for a minute as Willy loudly mumbled something in his sleep before holding onto her arms.

“Let’s make a promise then: a promise to always keep the others safe. We’re the oldest so we gotta look out for them,” Minnie’s eyes shone with determination as she looked over at Sophie. Sophie was surprised by the promise for a moment before she beamed at her twin.

“Yeah, a forever promise,” Sophie inhaled deeply and spat out a large swab of saliva. Minnie gathered all her saliva and spat it into her hand. The two sisters smacked their hands together, causing some of the saliva to go flying around them.

“It's a street rat promise!” Minnie declared happily and Sophie mirrored her smile. The two twins then returned to happier conversations about how they could make this small hideout the best home they could.

“Haul ass!” Sophie yelled as she ran forward with Tenn on her back. Her little brother bounced wildly as she led the way for the street rats. Violet bumped past her and continued to outrun the guards.

“Shit, sorry,” Violet looked back with an apologetic expression. She really couldn’t see well whenever she had to run from trouble and that was doubly true for anything on her right side.

“It’s okay,” Sophie reassured with a smile then glanced back at Tenn. “How you doing, buddy?” “Okay,” Tenn smiled softly before he quieted down when he heard Mitch’s loud scream.

“AAAA, stupid fucking guards! I need this item way more than some old, crusty man!” He ran forward and was soon followed behind by Willy who was smiling widely. He was clearly having the time of his life.

“It's gonna look so cool on-”

“Willy, you’re gonna ruin the surprise!” Mitch glanced over at the gangly teen who nodded with sad looking eyes.

“Shit, sorry,” Willy mumbled.

“Fuck, no, don’t be sad.” Mitch always felt worse whenever Willy was down.

“I don’t know what the hell you needed that black leather for but now we gotta hide out for a bit!” Violet grumbled as she led the way.

“Over there!” Sophie pointed to a lean alleyway. “We can use the shadows to our advantage!”

The other street rats all nodded before following Sophie’s lead. She quickly got Tenn off her back and navigated herself and the others to the shadows within the alleyway. All of them remained quiet as the guards ran past. They continued to search the area carefully for a few minutes before giving up and going back to the tavern to see if the group of pirates had gone that way.

“All clear,” Tenn whispered and the street rats filed out before exchanging high fives for avoiding ending up in jail again. Soon they were back on their way to Ol’ Kickass. Mitch and Sophie immediately exchanged the coolest parts of today’s adventure while Willy jumped in with a few comments here and there. Violet walked alongside Tenn who offered to give her a piggyback ride if she was too tired.

“Nah, I’m fine. We’re almost back to the ship anyway,” Violet smiled softly over at Tenn. Tenn returned it and silently walked alongside Violet while they listened to the other street rats get lost in the thrill of adventure once again. Within minutes they were back on the ship where the other pirates were hard at work with chores.

Soon the street rats split off to do their own thing for a while. Willy and Mitch disappeared below decks, speaking of a new project they were working on while Sophie and Tenn decided to spend the time sketching. Violet joined the two of them even though she mumbled something about how her drawings looked like shit compared to theirs. Still the three of them had fun together, talking and laughing as the sky changed from blue to a warm, comforting orange hue. Dinner was entertaining as always as the street rats got their turn to shine for story time on the adventure of today.

“Then I shit you not, Sophie kicked a man into a barrel of fish,” Mitch laughed uproariously and nearly fell over.

“Hey, he was trying to grab Violet and Tenn. I gotta look out for my family and crew above all else,” Sophie grinned and felt a warmth dance around in her heart. It was nice to have the street rats back in her life and to finally have a crew she could truly count on. Soon Mitch continued on with the tale and Willy jumped in about his heroic fight against a guard using a fish. The rest of the Ericson pirates enjoyed the tale and laughed along with the street rats. Before they knew it the stew was consumed and everyone went their separate ways.

“Vi, hold up!” Willy called out to the blonde pirate who was walking away hand in hand with Prisha. “Prisha, can we steal Violet for five minutes, please?” Willy begged with big puppy dog eyes.

“Who can say no to a face like that,” Prisha smiled before giving Violet a kiss on the cheek. “Alright, I’ll see you later,”

“See you later, “ Violet squeezed Prisha’s hand before letting go of it. She smiled at her love for a moment then looked back at Willy. “What’s so important?”

Willy remained silent as if he was worried he'd spill the surprise if he spoke. Snatching Violet’s hand, he pulled her towards the section of the upper deck where Sophie and Tenn were happily chatting with Mitch.

“Fucking finally,” Mitch hopped off his perch on the side of the ship and rummaged around in his pocket for something. After a few seconds he tossed an item over to Violet who couldn’t see it that well due to her poor sight and the darkness of night.

“Great job, Mitch,” Sophie teased as the item richoeteched off Violet who failed to catch it. The blonde pirate began to search for the item while Tenn helped.

“Shut up!” Mitch grumbled and quickly found the item before grabbing Violet’s hand and moving her towards one of the torches that lit up the upper deck. “Here, it took forever but I didn't want it to be shitty,” Mitch held out the eyepatch and Violet’s eye grew wide. It was a black leather eyepatch that had a wrinkled texture circling  the center which held a light blue petrified sea monster’s eye.

“Holy shit,” Violet whispered as she brushed her fingers over the eyepatch.

“Isn’t it super badass!” Willy exclaimed as he walked over with Sophie and Tenn who both were in awe of the eyepatch. “Mitch used a real live sea reptile’s eye for it!”

“It was no big deal, just though the eye looked badass and then I decided to make you an eyepatch.” Mitch looked away from his childhood friend.

“You should try it on!” Willy jumped up and down and immediately helped the blonde pirate as she switched out her eyepatch. All the street rats were impressed by how fitting it seemed for Violet.

“Holy shit, it really brings out your ‘don’t mess with me’ side. Looks like you could take down a whole fleet of pirates with the look you have going on,” Sophie praised Violet who glanced away.

“Thanks,” Violet awkwardly scratched the back of her neck. Soon the street rats were all talking at once and smiling at the well-received newest addition to Violet’s eyepatch collection. Sophie looked around at the happy, joyful smiles her friends had on their faces and her mind was brought back to a day long past: the day she had sworn a promise with Minnie to always keep the others safe.

Sophie watched them for a few more seconds before looking up at the starry sky. Her heart felt calm as she swore once more to protect these four that stood around her with her life. She would make sure her family stayed safe no matter what. Sophie’s smile faded for a moment and a thought entered her mind, wondering if her twin was staring at the same sky she was. If she was, Sophie hoped Minnie knew in her heart that Sophie would do everything in her power to bring her home. Every single member of her family, blood related or not, would be safe. That was the promise Sophie swore to the stars that night.

Minnie’s eyes wandered over to her bloody sword as she tossed it to the side. Her steps wandered toward the bowsprit. Slowly she sat down and brushed her hair back with her blood-stained hand. Lilly spoke of how this death would carve the path towards their goal, finding the legend that would lead to bringing back Sophie. Minnie felt her heart dance around with countless emotions as her eyes glanced up at the sky. All that mattered now was bringing back her sister from the dead. That and reuniting with Tenn.

As for the others… Minnie’s mind was filled with images of Mitch, Willy and Violet. Their happy smiles, their frightened eyes at seeing her the last time they ran into each other. They didn’t matter, that was the conclusion that Minnie had reached. A conclusion that pained her heart but she knew Lilly was right. In order to get back her family, she had to cast all others aside. So Minnie swore to the stars, a promise that she would bring back Sophie from Davy Jones’ Locker and that Tenn would soon be by her side again. Those two were her family and anyone else was a threat if they got in the way of her goal. Minnie’s eyes returned to the stars. She would get her family back no matter what.

[aliceslantern]

Grow, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 13--Epilogue

Suddenly human and abandoned in the Keyblade Graveyard, Demyx struggles to survive and come to terms with what his life is. Only by chance is he saved from exposure, and brought to Radiant Garden to recover. Unsure of who he is and where to even begin, Demyx finds a kindred spirit in Ienzo, and before long finds perhaps he isn't the only one lost in this new life. But how can they move forward with so much holding them back?

Roughly canonverse, Zemyx, hurt/comfort. Started for Zemyx day (9/6). Updates Wednesdays until it's done.

Chapter summary: Edym and Ienzo continue to grow.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

It wasn’t all sunshine and roses.

The more time passed, the more trickling memories came back. The picture Edym got was never clear , exactly. More like brief flashes of insight. Fighting Heartless with his sister. Getting his ass kicked again and again.

Learning music.

It was their mother that taught him, that suggested maybe he shouldn’t follow in Elrena’s footsteps. Edym had always heard music in things, found himself gravitating towards it. Once it was well and truly in his life, it was like a hole had been filled.

But the more insight Edym had into Elrena, the angrier and more hurt he felt about how Larxene had treated Demyx. They’d both been amnesiac, but how or why had that relationship mutated to hatred? Had something else happened? Did she just feel that betrayed by him not joining her?

Would he ever know?

For a long while his life fell into a steady--mostly pleasant--rhythm. Work, gardening, time with Ienzo. It was all so painfully ordinary. Not that Edym minded that, at all. Waking up next to him was worth all the pain he’d gone through.

The others gradually got used to his presence, their relationship. The more Edym thought about it, the less he really wanted to find the place that was once home--especially if it meant leaving Ienzo. Maybe someday they would live in their own little house, with a cat or a dog. With or near friends. But for now… what they had was fine as it is. There was no need to rush into anything serious.

Edym and Ienzo… began to grow.

It was hard to leave behind that time in the Organization, especially because so much of Edym’s sense of self came from Demyx. And Ienzo had spent the majority of his childhood as a Nobody. Figuring out who they were and what humanity all meant was dazzling and confusing. The more his flickers of memories came back, the stranger Edym felt. He’d been soft, but he’d also been so young . He knew something awful had happened to their home, and, more likely, it had all happened a lot longer ago than anyone thought. But how, or why, Xemnas had found them was anyone’s guess.

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do to help,” Even told him. “Aside from patiently waiting for those memories to come back… we can’t look into what happened to your world without knowing what it’s called.”

Edym knew this was true. It still put a sour seed in his chest. He thought of his sister, of Larxene. Harder still to grieve someone who was likely alive. But where was she? How would she feel seeing him again? Did she even care?

“I know it’s easier said than done,” Ienzo said softly, one night after they made love. “But you have to stop torturing yourself.”

“I know. I’m trying. I just…”

“Want closure.”

“Well. Yeah.” Don’t you ? He almost asked.

“I know. I wish I could… take that pain from you.”

“I just have this feeling that she’s alive, and I-- even if we just… hash things out, I don’t know.”

“I can’t say I relate totally,” Ienzo said. “But I know how it is to… lose people to the unknown.”

“Your parents?”

He nodded. “I scarcely have any memory of them anymore. My memories used to be so--achingly sharp.” He touched his brow. “Now, not so much. To take a page from Ansem’s book… if you’re meant to find each other again, you will. You have to trust in that.”

“You really believe that?”

He sighed, and smiled. “Call me crazy, but I do.” Ienzo kissed him. “Want some tea?”

---

Time passed. Edym kept waiting for the other shoe to drop--for things to get complicated and messy again. But they didn’t. Even eventually replaced the other kidney. He grew closer to the members of the restoration committee, became friends with them. When Scrooge offered him the opportunity to manage the post office instead of just work it, he took it. It felt nice to do something that had a positive impact, for once.

He was sweeping up one day after close when he heard the doorbell. They’d recently moved shop away from the strange little bazaar into their own building. “Sorry, we’re closed. Drop your mail in the box outside. I’ll handle it first thing.”

“Look at you, a cog in the machine.”

Edym froze. Very slowly, he turned.

“...Don’t look at me like that. Whose idea were the glasses? Almost makes you look not stupid.”

He made a strange noise. “How did you--when--I--”

Elrena looked tired, her skin sallow. “It’s a long and ultimately very boring story,” she said. She picked up a book of stamps, looked at it with something like distaste, and set it down. She was still wearing the black coat, he noticed. “Xigbar didn’t bite it, you know.”

He gripped at his elbow. “Yeah. I know. He almost killed me.”

“Really? I thought there was a--I don’t know. Rapport, or something, between you two. He was one of the only ones who could stand you.”

Edym blinked. Seeing her, he felt something a whole lot more complicated than he thought. Not relief. Not happiness. “So he found you and brought you here?”

“...Something like that. He said this was where you ended up.”

Edym shook his head slowly. “You wanted to see me?”

She smirked. “Call me sentimental, but yeah, I did. Was wicked weird when I found out. Lauriam just thought it was hilarious. Marluxia,” she clarified.

“So he’s around too.” Edym set the broom aside. “Well. Good for him, I guess.”

There was a pause. Elrena cleared her throat. “You’re going to snitch about Xigbar, aren’t you?”

“Probably. Yeah.”

“...Is it bad I kind of want you to?”

“More pot stirring?”

“More pot stirring.” She grinned. “It’s what I do best.”

“So what are you two doing with him, anyway?”

“Honestly? I’m not completely sure. But I’m helping Lauriam look for someone, and then after that… well. The World is our oyster.”

Without ceremony, Edym said, “Stelitzia.”

“Oh, you remembered that much?”

Woodenly, he nodded.

“Lauriam thought he remembered someone getting her killed. But considering that nobody in this fucking world seems to stay dead… well.” She shrugged.

“Why are you telling me all this?”

She dropped her eyes. “Like I said. All this talk of his sister… had me feeling sentimental. And that’s so not cool. I thought if I saw you it’d stop.”

“Did it?”

“Don’t know.”

Edym let out a slow breath. “How long are you in town?”

“Not long.” She took another few steps towards him. “If you want, you can come with us.”

He laughed. “No. No way in hell. Sorry.”

“Worth a shot.”

“Why would you want me anyway?”

“You could see her again.”

Edym put his hands in his pockets. “I don’t want to leave what I have here. I… I’m happy, you know? I feel like I’m… starting to finally do more good things than bad. My life is here. Whatever we had before, as kids. I don’t think it was a life.”

Her eyes darkened. “No,” she said in a low voice. “It wasn’t.”

“You could have a life here too,” he said. “Or… not here, anywhere you want. You don’t have to go along with Lauriam and Xigbar. You could choose.” He offered his hand, and for a breath thought she might take it.

Elrena smirked. Shook her head. “Nah,” she said. “I’ve got things to do. People to see.”

“And undermine?”

“With any luck.”

Edym nodded. His heart settled in his chest. “Just don’t get yourself killed again,” he said. “And slug Xigbar good for me, okay?”

“Maybe. He does always seem to be asking for it.”

There was a pause, longer than the last. “You’ll be okay?” she asked.

“Yeah. I really will.”

“Well, okay. Then I’ll stop worrying.”

“You were worrying ?”

“Come on, Edym. We all know you’re not great at planning for the long term.”

“Maybe I’ve changed.”

She waved a hand dismissively. “I should go. My ride’s waiting.” She headed towards the door.

“Wait--Elrena--”

She turned, her lips pursed.

“Why did our Nobodies hate each other so much? Cause I don’t think I hate you now.”

She thought about it for a moment, her teal eyes flashing. “The last time we saw each other, we fought,” she said. “Can’t tell you for my life about what.”

“About the cult,” he said, with clarity.

“The Dandelions,” she corrected.

“I didn’t want you to leave me.”

“And I didn’t want to have to baby my brother.” She shook her head. “Well. Turns out that never happened. You were stuck with me. Maybe I resented that.”

Edym nodded.

“And being a Nobody makes you angry for no reason anyway ,” she said, more lightly. “Does that answer your question?”

“I think so.”

“Then I should go.” For a second, it seemed like she might touch him.

“You have a phone?” he asked.

“What, one of those dumb things? What kinda budget do you think we’re working with?” A grin.

“...Right. Well.” He took a deep breath. “I guess… if I see you, I see you. And if I don’t…”

“Yep.” She put her hand on her hip. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“You, either.”

“And hey. If I really need something, I’ll just write.” She winked. “Bye, Edym.”

“Bye, Elrena.”

When she left, she didn’t look back.

---

Edym sat heavily on the blanket. His joints hurt from a long day of work. It was his turn to bring the picnic, but instead of cooking, he’d been too tired, so he’d just gotten takeout from Ienzo’s favorite place. He hoped that would suffice.

“I know I’m late,” Ienzo called. “Even was being very--” He cut himself off, his eyes wide. He looked around the courtyard slowly. “When did you have the time--”

“I’ve been here almost all day.” His face flushed.

Ienzo walked around slowly, touching the new plants in their pots. The orchids. The lanterns Edym had hung around the peripherals of the property. He’d tried to repair some of the stonework in the floor, too, but accepted that he was a terrible mason. Ienzo turned to look at him. “Why did you--”

“We’ve been spending a lot of time here. I wanted to… make it nice.” He stood, wincing at the ache in his hips. “Aeleus helped me with this.” He reached over behind the old fountain to turn on the pump.

“This must’ve taken hours--days,” he said. He shook his head. “Edym, I--” He touched one of the orchids. “You even remembered these.”

“I wanted to do something nice for you. It is your birthday,” he pointed out.

Ienzo jerked.

“Did you forget?”

“I did entirely,” he admitted. “Time doesn’t pass in that cursed lab.” He wrinkled his nose. “Thank you.” He leaned in to kiss him. “Really. Thank you.”

He shrugged, the blush in his face getting hotter. “I… liked doing it. Let’s eat, okay?”

They did.

“...You know, you don’t have to work in that lab,” Edym said.

“It has been wearing on me lately,” Ienzo admitted. “But I have to be able to… do good work. Good things. It’s the only way I can sleep at night.”

Edym squeezed his hand. “No need for you to suffer doing something you hate.”

Ienzo shook his head. “I don’t hate it,” he said. “Knowing that I’m doing something worthwhile does feel good.”

“But it’s the coworkers that suck?”

Ienzo grimaced. “Quite. At least Even is at least partially distracted by the research work you’ve given him. He’s been criticizing my coding like his doesn’t look two or three languages behind.”

Edym chuckled.

Ienzo set down his bowl. “You know…” he began. “This life is no longer feeling quite so strange.”

“Isn’t that good?”

“I think so.” He put a hand to his chest. “I was worried that humanity would never feel quite right. Everything still overwhelms me. But… at least that sensation isn’t always negative anymore.”

Edym kissed him. They rested there together for a while longer.

“I mean, this whole mess only began because of my poor self-control,” Ienzo continued.

“ Hey. I don’t think we’re messy .”

“We’re a little messy,” Ienzo said.

“Well. I’m glad that it all happened. I feel like you’ve… helped me.”

“The feeling is mutual,” he said. He sighed. “Hopefully our next mistakes are equally fruitful.”

“Har har.”

Ienzo leaned back against him. For a while, neither of them said anything; they didn’t have to. “Shall we head back?” Ienzo asked. “I could use some--ah--stress relief.”

Edym smirked. “You got it.” He kissed him, longer this time. “Let’s go home.”