#she's also going to college to be a doctor........... um

[ectogeranium]

had to buy my co-worker a pregnancy test today... girlie pop didn't even know the difference between littering and loitering... god help us.

[group-dynamic]

Love how the Pitt keeps dropping little hints about the interns / student doctors' sad, messed up relationships with their families.

Whitaker being asked "Do you have a best friend?" by the pregnant farm wife and answering like: um. . . I have three older brothers. . . Does that count? (like he doesn't know!!) and then he goes " Actually they kind of tortured me growing up, so :( " Like, I know he means in an older sibling way, but ooh, lonely, isolated and different from the rest of the family, first to go to college in a third generation farm family Whittaker my beloved!

Santos who it goes without saying had a shitty unstable or traumatizing upbringing that she references through her rage at the potential abuser, struggle to make genuine connections, and self awareness that she deflects and snarks as a form of self defense. Santos who hates herself and lashes out so badly when she screws up only to immediately walk her words back because she was too mean to Whittaker and didn't like that. Santos who needs reassurance more than anyone. Santos who bullies the other interns but also tries to defend Mohan and take care of Whittaker's finger like a good sibling in an abusive household.

Mel aka "I hate to see families torn apart" who has visceral reactions to shouting and when parents fight and genuinely worries and asks questions about whether fighting adults are going to break up like she thinks she's witnessing a divorce before her eyes. Mel who seems to be the sole caretaker of her sister as a result of. . .?!

Mohan who for most of the show is a mysterious, wonderful angel who keeps getting reprimanded by the ED father Robbie for being the doctor she wishes hospital bureaucracy would allow her be, and then it turns out her father died when she was young!!?? And she's an only child??? And she was clearly her father's favorite, (but not in this ED!) and while she's handled that loss by now, she goes around being the big sibling to all the less experienced staff despite not being a sibling herself, like now she's got so many!!

And Javadi whose parents BOTH work for that hospital who is so young and feels so deprived of appreciation and love and support who is a "pressure cooker" child who has found the kind of understanding and support and chill vibes she's wanted from "actual cool yet responsible" mom McKay and that little connection she has with Dana who's so attentive to her with her Utah metaphor and wishes her many Utah's like "I hope you experience many things in life" to a kid who has been set on such a narrow and difficult path she hasn't been able to look up to see the sky!!!

aaaahhhhhuuuggghhh!

[whowantslovergirl]

Female Dr. Reid

Spencer Reid x reader (reader is female with she/her pronouns)

warnings: pen being the cutest matchmaker, spencer has ptsd when it comes to dating, reader has a dr title, post prison spencer (he’s 37 in this), just cute shit 😍 criminal minds masterlist

Summary: When Penelope met Y/n in a coffeehouse and saw how similar her and Spencer were she just had to set them up

posted: July 29, 2024

Penelope was on her way to work when she stopped at the local coffeehouse. She was in line when she saw you waiting for your drink she made a mental note to compliment your shoes. They were dark red pumps and she always wanted a pair.

______

She came over to wait for her drink and she was by you. “I love your pumps.” You look at her. “Oh thank you. I love your outfit.”

“Thank you. I’m Penelope.” She held her hand out for you to shake. You shook your head. “Oh I don’t shake hands, there is so many germs in shaking hands and fun fact it’s actually safer to kiss.” Her jaw dropped. “Oh my god! My co worker is just like that. He has this whole thing with germs and he always says that same exact fact.” She saw your tag for the college down the street from the BAU. “What do you teach?”

“Oh criminology and forensic psychology.”

“Wow I actually work with profilers.” You looked shocked. “Oh my gosh that’s so cool!” You guys talked and talked and she found out that you have three PhDs and the same exact interests.

“My co worker also has three! You guys are just alike. And one more question you look a little young to be a professor how old are you?”

You smiled. “I’m 37 and I started young I graduated high school at 12 and finished college at 16 and all the other stuff when I was 24.” Penelope was shocked at how similar you guys are. She’s big on soulmates and she thinks she just found Spencer’s.

“Y/n!”

“Oh that’s me bye Penelope here’s my card it’s my phone number so just send a text.” You smiled at her and got your coffee and left.

______

“Where’s Spencer?!” Derek looked at the blonde woman shaking with excitement. “Why do you need Spencer?”

“I just met his soulmate!” As she was saying this Spencer came in. “What?” She turned around. “Spencer I just met your soulmate. You have to meet her! She has three phds, loves doctor who, same age and she teaches what we do!”

“Pen you know I’m not dating anymore.” He said while walking away to get his coffee. After Maeve and Cat he can’t fall in love without something going wrong. Pen was hot on his trail. “But you would love her! And she likes her coffee the same exact way! I know I tried it and almost went into a diabetic coma.” Spencer turned around.

“I’m not interested..”

______

“Hey Y/n!” You and Pen were waiting for their coffees after a few conversations they considered each other friends. “Hey Pen!”

“I tried to set you up with my co worker but-.”

“What?! Pen I’m not looking for anyone right now.” Penelope nodded. “But you would love him! He is exactly your type.”

“Pen I’m not interested.”

______

After Pen left with her coffee. You noticed she dropped her id for the FBI. You picked it up and followed her trail. You got a visitor pass and went into the BAU. You saw an attractive tall brunette hair man. “Um hi do you know where Penelope is? She left her id.” Spencer saw you and everything around him stopped. You were absolutely gorgeous even though he had no idea who you were it didn’t matter because you are breathtaking.

“Yea she’s down the hall to the right.” You nodded and went to the room and knocked. “Come in to the dungeon my dear!” You came in. “Hey Pen you left your id.”

“Oh my thank you! I didn’t notice they just let me in. So don’t you have a class?” You shook your head. “It’s an afternoon class and I already planned for it.” You shrugged. “But you have a very attractive co worker.” Her eyes widened. “Which one they are all very attractive.”

“He’s tall, had long brown hair, facial hair, and brown eyes.” She squealed which made you jump. “That’s Spencer! I told you he’s your type!”

“That was Spencer?! I was not at all expecting him to look like that.” She grabbed your hands.

“Oh Y/n pleaseeee let me set you up. I promise you will love him. And he will love you.” After much convincing you nodded and Penelope cried with delight. “You guys are going to have attractive and smart children. Oh my god! Name one of them Penelope. He wants four kids anyway!”

What did you get yourself into?

______

As you were in Penelope’s office, Spencer was talking to Derek about Penelope’s friend. “She was beautiful! And she works at the college down the street because I saw her id. Y/n L/n even her name is beautiful-.” As he was ranting you came out to go to work. “Well bye everyone it was nice meeting you.” You noticed Derek. “Oh hi I’m Y/n.”

“Derek.” He held his hand out to shake. “Oh I don’t shake hands because of all the germs you know it’s actually safer to kiss.” Derek’s eyebrows raised. “Wow Spence you say the same thing!” You just smile. “Well I have to go to work.”

“Um what do you teach? I saw your id.” Spencer asked. “Criminology and forensic psychology.” His eyes widened.

“So you teach what we do.” He smiled. “Yea I guess I do.” You smile back.

“So professor L/n.” Derek added.

“Dr. L/n actually.” You corrected him. Spencer eyes widened even more. “You have a phd?”

“Three actually.” Derek smiled. “Spence also has three.”

“Yea Penelope told me when we first met.”

Then it came to him you are the person Penelope wanted to set him up with. You checked your watch. “I really have to go.”

“Yea I’ll walk you out.” Spencer said while rushing to your side. After you left Spencer darted to Penelope’s office.

“Pen! Was that the girl you want to set me up with?!”

“Yea why?”

“I’m free on Saturday so can you text her that please?” Penelope never been happier. “Yes of course!”

Her plan worked. She purposely left her id so Y/n can get and bring it. And it worked!

Soon Dr. L/n will become Dr. Reid.

An: HOPED YOU ENJOYED MY LOVERS 🤍

[bergandysam]

Kim Seokjin Fic Recs

‼️18+ minors DNI, if you choose to anyways, PLEASE be careful. try to heed our warnings, we have them for a reason‼️

More Recs Here

he’s insanely good looking your honour

[not in any particular order] [if any users would like me to remove their post from this list please let me know and i will do so immediately!]

thank you daddy @ktheist 19k

sugar daddy!seokjin, WHEEWWW, small angst, hella smut tho LOLL, 9 YEAR AGE GAP!, they’re both horny fucks,

fast lane @yminie 20.6k

racer!seokjin, enemies2lovers, angst, smut !!!!!short depictions of car accidents!!!!!, jin is a PLAYA, reader really hates his guts LOLL

cherry topper @kth1 17.6k

friends2lovers, longtime pining, college!au, reader works at his family’s candy shop :)) fluff, angst, SMUT, reader is dense as hell LOLL

every year @another-army-spot 15.6k

childhood bff2L, chef!seokjin, a yearly new year’s eve party!!, hard fluff, smutty angst, they both grew up hella rich.

final sleigh @floralseokjin 23.3k

coworkers, e2l, reader very much hates seokjin LOLLL, forced proximity fanfic 🤭🤭 smut, fluff(?), angst in Y/N is petty LMAO, it’s christmas!

stuck with you @taleasnewastime 29.6k

strangers2lovers, reader is grumpy :(, they’re stuck in a city they don’t want to be in, Jin is a raining ball of sunshine, angst, smut, fluff, angst. happy ending :)

MENTIONS OF DEATH!

small tuna fish @floralseokjin 17.1k

college!au, jin is a GOOD nice guy, he’s so jinny, FLUFF x10000, smut too LOL, jin is a cutie, he’s inexperienced, there’s a charity car wash too 🤪

warm this winter @jamaisjoons 51.6k

s2l, this was so cute, jk is such a dumbass, but it’s okay seokjin is here to save the day. fluff, angst, SMUT. it just smacks u in the fuckin face.

lost and found @taleasnewastime 21.2k

s2l, seokjin owns a silly lil shop cuz he’s a silly lil guy, reader was cheated on, fluff, angst, they’re so cute. jimin is there too! oneshot.

you guys don’t understand how fucking much i love this story. i’ve re-read it more times than i can count. i think about this Jin once a week

made up love song @floralseokjin series

dilf!seokjin, teacher!reader, arin is saur cute, angsty :(, but fluffy!!! n very smutty, lots of fluff with arin, seokjins ex >:(

turn back time @raplinesmoon 13.3k

seokjin accidentally fast forwards time, smut, angsty fluff, reader is a doctor, JIN POPS A SEMI 💀💀💀💀

sit. stay. @daechwitatamic 14k

dog owners!!!, they live in the same building, jin just wants to help MC, miscommunication :(, fluff, angst, smut, more fluff. literally. cuz dogs. i love this jinnie sooo much

the ikea test @yoon-bug 9.1k

they’re dating, hoseok was right 💀, reader gets upset with seokjin, jin saves the day!!, and then screws the HELL out of MC, so.. smut, fluff too :)

last november @kithtaehyung 24.7k 😭😭

god. exes2l, angst and um oh more angst, smut, all ends well, they’re on a holiday trip with tha gang.

ryen NEVER misses. masterpiece after masterpiece.

the platonic collection @joheunsaram mini series

FWB2L, MC is kinda… she’s kinda dense LOL, seokjin is a cutie, smut, fluff

off limits @floralseokjin series

brothers best friend!seokjin, they’re hiding :(, FWB2L, angst angst angst, yoongi gets puNCHED, smut, readers brother is overprotective, lil fluff

don’t go baking my heart @candlewaxandp0lar0ids 14.7k

i don’t think u understand i love this seokjin. JK is a cutie, S2L, jinnie owns a bakery and is the master of puns, kinda angsty, fluff, they’re also IDIOTS. lil smut

cupids on holiday @persphonesorchid 17k

cupid!seokjin, fluff, angst :(, smut, E2L?? ily jin. but i HATE U. but ily.

all i don’t want for christmas is you @minisugakoobies 23.7k

coworkers AU!, E2L, crack, fluff, smut, jin has a big… ego.. y’all. Y/N pisses me the hell off, but they’re SO CUTE 😭

glazed and dazed @floralseokjin 30.3k

um. PORNSTAR SEOKJIN. thank you that’s all, jk, seokjin ☹️, obviously smut, but they’re fluffy n cute i promise.

the devil wears armani @floralseokjin 65k series

WHEW this one is a doozy, devil!jin, jimin is there too, very much smut smut smut, angsty, fluffy, seokjin has a soft spot.

like i said at the end of my last fic rec post, if any of you have recommendations for me, please send them through!! my inbox is OPEN and i am always looking for more things to read!!! 🫶🫶

[writing-until-i-drop]

God Complex | One Shot

Natasha "Phoenix" Trace x f! surgeon! reader (no use of y/n)

You're a trauma surgeon resident, studying at a bar when you're approached by a woman who steals your focus.

warnings! Slight dom!Phoenix, suggestive, drinking, not proof read

“Bite your lip any harder and I’m going to have to kiss it better,” A rich, feminine voice pulled you out of your textbook. Studying at a bar had been a tip your dad had given you. He said that real doctors don't have the luxury of a quiet and controlled environment all of the time and studying in such a crowded space would hone your focus. Except with just a few words, this woman had shattered your focus. 

Standing in front of you was the most gorgeous woman you’d ever seen. You swallowed hard. The woman was in a tan, Navy uniform that was tailored to perfection, with dark hair slicked back into a tight bun. She looked amused as you squirmed under her dark gaze, unable to form any words. “Tell me your name, baby girl.” 

Your response was instant, cheeks burning red under her gaze. The woman repeated your name like she was testing how it rolled off her tongue.

“Everyone calls me Phoenix,” She stepped between your knees, her citrus perfume filling the space. Your head spun like a top, full on gay panic setting in when Phoenix’s hand rested on your bare thigh. “But you, baby girl, can call me Tasha.” You nodded, unable to think of anything but how close this insanely hot woman was and the way her thumb was brushing the inside of your thigh.

“Tasha,” You whispered. Tasha grinned, squeezing your thigh.

“Are you going to be a good girl and let me buy you a drink?”

Again, your response was immediate.

“Yes,” Tasha eyed your can of soda.

“Is there a reason you’re staying sober so far?” You shook your head, pushing your textbook to the side. Suddenly, studying wasn’t so important to you after all. “Good. You seem like the fruity drink type, am I right?”

Another nod. Honestly, you would have drank straight whiskey if Tasha spit it in your mouth and by the look on her face, she knew it.

“Okay, then you sit here and look pretty while I get us both a drink.” 

“Holy shit,” You breathed, air finally filling your lungs when Tasha was out of ear shot. “Holy shit, is this really happening?” You pinched yourself, pain shooting up your arm. It was real. Very real. 

“Tell me about yourself, baby girl.” Tasha returned to the high top table with a beer and a fruity looking cocktail. 

“I’m a trauma surgeon resident, that’s um, that’s why,” You pointed at your textbook. 

“Ooh, so not only is my girl smart, she’s also an adrenaline junkie.” You flushed, sipping on your cocktail. You hadn’t received this much attention at once in a long time, it was overwhelming.

In college, you had been the life of the party, but medical school and interning had burnt you out. Outside of your fellow residents and the occasional nurse, this was the longest conversation you had had in months.

“Why did you focus on trauma?” 

“When I was an intern, there was a period in time that I thought about quitting,” You tapped your fingers nervously against the table, “I was so tired, I was barely sleeping or eating. I just didn’t want to do it anymore, the day I was going to quit, there was a massive traffic collision on the highway.” 

The memory of everyone rushing around, preparing for the incoming influx of patients flashed through your mind. God, you had been so anxious and excited. You wanted to puke, scream, and celebrate all at the same time. 

“There were so many people and so many injuries I’d only read about, I had to make so many split second decisions. The residents were there but they could only do so much supervision, I was holding people’s lives in my hand. It’s better than any drug, that feeling of control.” 

“God, you should see the look on your face right now,” Tasha reached out, cupping your cheek. “It’s so hot that you love your work so much.” 

“You don’t think I have a God complex or something?” All surgeons had a God complex, even if it’s a minor one. You held people’s lives in your hands, their lives depended on your skills and knowledge. It was as exhilarating as it was daunting.

Tasha licked her lips, dark eyes filled with lust. Her attention and touch stirred something in you, warmth spreading through your body until it felt like you were burning for her.

“Baby, if you’re God, I’ll get down on my knees for you every day.” 

“Fuck,” You groaned, the tension between you finally snapping. Tasha’s grip slipped to the back of your neck, pulling you across the table for a demanding kiss. The angle made it hard but her lips were soft, tasting of cherry lip balm. Tasha tugged your hair, tipping your chin to deepen the kiss, her tongue caressing your own.

“You taste sweet, baby girl,” Tasha licked at your bottom lip, pulling back when your lungs demanded air. You were dazed, barely hearing the wolf whistles directed your way. “Ignore them, I always do.” You glanced, spotting a group of men in uniform.

“Friends of yours?” 

“We’re pilots, guess you could say we’ve all got a bit of a God complex too.” You giggled when Tasha kissed you, the cheering starting up again like you had your own personal live studio audience. “I can kick their asses if you want me to.” 

“Or you take me home,” You smiled, taking her hand off of the table and resting it on your thigh. Tasha squeezed your thigh and you bit down on your bottom lip.

“Now what did I tell you about biting that lip, baby?”

a/n: hope you like it! I've got a headcannon that Phoenix is the biggest flirt when it comes to women, just putting all of the men's game to shame.

[sturniolo04]

olderbf!Matt x youngergf!reader

A/N: Small blurb of older bf Matt and younger gf Reader. If you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you- Charli

Dividers: @issysh3ll

“what are you doing right now”

You huff out a little agitated into the in-progress call to your boyfriend.

"nothing... "

He trails off slowly in a way that you just know he has his eyebrow cocked up

"can I come over I just-“

You huff out as you pause collecting your thoughts hearing Matt set his game controller on his desk which meant he was in the middle of a game and paused it to take your call.

"I can come pick you up angel”

Matt speaks snapping you out of your thoughts as you hear his car keys jingle in the process.

“ please”

You huff out letting out an exasperated sigh.

“ okay hold tight I'm on my way”

Matt states as you hang up the phone grabbing your shoes and pushing your hair up into a messy bun and shoving your blue light glasses on as well.

You glance over at phone seeing the quick notification that Matt was in your driveway. You rush down the stairs,passing your parents

“ where are you going”

Your mom asks cutting through the intentional silence you created. You roll your eyes quickly and swiftly turn on your heels.

“ um out”

You bluntly state trailing off in your response

“ l honestly don't see why it is any of your concern because you apparently think and believe that I'm wasting my talent and gifts on wanting to go to college to be a pediatric nurse or doctor thanks so much for your support you guys much appreciated really”

You finish walking out the front door to be meet with your boyfriends face

“ hi”

He greets you softly as you quietly hum out a soft nonverbal reply, climbing into the can seeing that he opened the door for you.

The ride to his house was quiet, you were still fuming at the conversation you had with your mom, not understanding how she could stand so strongly on this opinion she has about your life and your decisions in it and for it. Matt knows now you get when you have tough conversations especially with your mom. So, he know to let you brew and that you would tell him when you are ready to talk about it because that's how you are.

Sometimes you are amazed at how well your boyfriend knows you for one but two how he knows how to also handle your mood in these situations.

“do you want some food”

Matt questions as he pulls into the chickfila drive thru. You simply nod your head still wanting to remain limited on words.

Once you guys ordered and received your food you made it back to matt's shared house with his brothers, immediately going into his room.

“how could she even say something like that”

You groan out as Matt halted taking your guys food out of the bag taking note of the fact you were finally ready to vent like you usually do.

“ what did she say exactly”

Matt asks carefully as you began to slowly make your way over to his sitting figure at his desk, you stand in between his legs as he shifts his loving grip to your hips as you let out a sigh

“she believes that I'm wasting my talent by going into a medical based career but it's what I want to do she just doesn't get it”

You breathe out nesting your hands on top of your boyfriend's shoulders. He begins to gently run his hands up and down your hips.

“Well she only wants the best for you you know”

He replies trying to reason with you as you slowly nod your head in agreement.

“But if that’s what you want do she can’t tell you what to do”

Matt continues as you lean your head forward resting on top of his fluffy messy hair head.

“Yeah I know I’m just so mad at her and am worried she will look at me differently because she believes this way about this decision Matt”

You whine out as the anxious thoughts set in as Matt softly shakes his head to ‘stop it’

“You can’t control her and what she believes or says about it and plus she wouldn’t look at you differently because you chose this path, you are still her daughter you know”

Matt reply’s softly as he begins to pull you to sit on his lap and rub your back.

“Yeah that’s true thanks Matt”

You sigh out.

“Anytime angel”

Matt chuckles out. you let out a small giggle as a thought entered your brain.

“Maybe I should just do YouTube with you and Chris and Nick as my career instead”

You joke softly and Matt chuckles along with you.

Taglist

@mintsturniolo @emely9274 @stayingstromboli @wh0resstuff

@chaoswithus @ivysturnss @ksturnz @spicymuffins03

[starstruckodysseys]

vanessa mallteen

ohhh my babygirl. darling. character i created from the ground up

favorite thing about them: ace vibes in crushing on a crush are so real TO ME. is this technically headcanon yes but so is everything else about the pibe fandom

least favorite thing about them: the fact she only exists on screen for 39 whole minutes </3

favorite line: been a minute since i watched mallapalooza tbh but i will forever love “do you think the boys are having a conversation just like ours?” like no girlie. they are not. they are taking stuffed bears to college

brotp: bryce + vanessa my darlings who i made friends and never actually interact <3

otp: POLYPALOOZA ON TOP!!!!! truly just her with any of the mall teens they r so dear to me. did you guys know that

notp: unfortunately i don’t think i have strong enough opinions for this one guys lmao

random headcanon: i’ve mentioned this before but trans vanessa is real to me. she stole her name from vanessa west-moorland aka her role model doctor :]

unpopular opinion: um. uh. you all should be making more content of her 🫵 (i have not posted pibe fic since. okay last month nvm i can say this still)

song i associate with them: straight ahead — dom fera

favorite pic of them: yknow i wasn’t going to do this bc that is just jess mckenna but also i have this one in my camera roll already so. yknow

ask game here

[henarikat]

Can you tell us more about your farmer? What is she like how does she meet mr qi how do they fall in love? Tell us everything!!!!

Omg the girl of all time?? You want to hear about my silly little guy?? And her blue man aaaaaa??? I have suddenly forgotten all of the lore I've ever conceived for them oh my goodness but um uh.... i will put it under a spoiler bc it'll probably be dumb and ramblyyyyy and I will absolutely regret posting in 5 seconds if I don't lmao

I guess, her dad is like the CEO of Joja or whatever, some really intense and high-up position. Idk anything about corporations. And he gets her a job after she graduates from college, she has some "dumb" (by his standards) artsy degree that he deems relevant enough to give her a very easy but very high-paying receptionist job. She doesn't have to do anything except for field calls and usually customers don't make it that far calling, so it's usually like... business deals or something. She also has to get donuts and lunch and coffee for the office, which, whatever. And anyway, she meets this guy and he seems cool. He works for her dad and he gets,,, close to her. And she gets,,, close to him. And anyway, it turns out he was using her for like, access to her dad/insider information about the company and then the night he dramatically breaks up with her, she feels like a FOOL and she cannot go back to work the next day. She remembers her dead grandfather's farm and the deed he sent her, so she spends the night packing up her things and leaves for the train station first thing in the morning, no word to anyone!!!! Obviously her dad is SO MAD and he just like... pulls her inheritance? Is that a thing that happens? Idk. And anyway, he doesn't talk to her ever again. She is very depressed when she gets to the valley and she's used to drinking every weekend in zuzu so she... kind of... drinks a lot?? every day?? she gets really close with shane, and they hook up once just before his heart event on the cliffs and after that, they both decide they're better off as friends, at least until they can both get clean. joja ends up firing him because he's so sick after he stops drinking and she hires him to work for her and pays him what he made a joja in a week for just a day's worth of work, so it's beneficial for him! She makes friends with Leah also because they both love art and Leah also majored in the same silly thing that Nora did and funny enough, that guy that Nora "dated" was Leah's ex. Crazy world we live in. Uhhhh and no one really has any romantic interest in Nora, they all sort of pair themselves up with each other?? Harvey has a silly crush on her (bc I hc Maru to be sort of an acespec lesbian in Nora's world), but she is not interested and doesn't want to break harveys strict doctor/patient rule anyway, even if she were. Uh and then 5 years into her stay in the valley, she gets a package with a note attached. I am a hopeless romantic, personallyyyyyy, so like, in my HC Mr Qi never sent her on any quests. He saw her on his screens when she arrived in the valley and he was like oh....ok um wow ok she's going to ruin my life cool cool cooooool. he was so infatuated with her aaaaaa. he never sent her on the quest for the battery or the rainbow shell for his club card, he didn't wait for her on floor 100 in the skull caverns. he coooouldn't. he tried to distract himself with flings, but even still, he could not stop thinking of her. so finally, he invited her to the casino to meet him. he sent her a gorgeous fitted gown and shoes and flowers and!!! and she came!! to meet him! and she was not scared of him or intimidated by him (she didn't even know who he was to be fair) and she thought he was cuuuuute aaaa. and I made up some heart events for him and them and I just!! they're my silly guys they mean everything to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And anyway here is a really cheesy dumb art I drew also because I’m stupid and I love them 😩

[i-daresay-i-have-too-many]

ranking doctor whos, having never seen an episode, based entirely on this image

15. fifth doctor

📳📳 what's that? 📳📳 hello? oh, it's princess diana, she called and she wants her hair back. brideshead revisited called they want their wardrobe back. the fifth doctor called he wants his eyebrows back!!!

14. ninth doctor

I understand this was probably a result of the same cultural context that produced the dark knight and casino royale but I absolutely HATE everything about this guy's vibe he looks like someone james bond would throw off a train in the first act

13. eighth doctor

alan rickman wax sculpture looking ass mf. dressed like a hobbit in the 1840s

12. twelfth doctor

2010s bbc gritty crime drama side character (derogatory)

11. thirteenth doctor

YAASSSS QUEEN GIVE US NOTHINGGG she looks like whatever the british equivalent of a soccer mom is, she looks like she idolizes kate middleton

10. sixth doctor

they tried too hard and as a result she's giving wonka

9. tenth doctor

I love you dt but you look SO bland just brown on brown on brown

8. second doctor

excuse me sir um I think your wig is on sideways

7. first doctor

did I do early us history in college for like a year yes but if you told me that this guy was james k polk's vice president would I believe you also yes

6. fourteenth doctor

massive w for dt, the tie, the collar, the jacket, all slightly weird without going full victorian willy wonka hobbit

5. fifteenth doctor

*squidward voice* OH NO HE'S HOT. I can absoLUTEly feel the kenergy

4. third doctor

I'm a sucker for ruffles ok

3. seventh doctor

a cane with a question mark are you fucking kidding me?? and that gay little scarf and gay little hat?? she's giving—nay, SERVING nathan lane character!

2. eleventh doctor

that man is literally an alien where did they even find him. this looks like you gave an ai image generator the prompt "eccentric alien man attempting to be a human but his only point of reference is jimmy neutron's dad"

1. fourth doctor

scarf guy!!!! nothing screams doctor who like twelve foot striped scarf in a muted autumnal palette

[aahrealposting]

talkaboutit

story with rosie and serena (they're girlfriends here)

serena: and you didn't?

rosalia, confused: no, of course i didn't.

serena, also confused, but laughing: what? he totally deserved it! you could've gotten your lick back after he pulled that shit. start like, hissing, turning into smoke, all of that. he would've cried to his stupid mortal momma about it.

rosie was cornered once, long before she met serena. it was her first few years of maturing not only physically, in her mortal body, but as a vampire, as it laid dormant in her dna. her father was finally out of the picture at that point, the human life rosie celebrated with her mother not doing it for him anymore. rosie always wonders where he is these days, but sometimes she'll see him. when a coyote drops a dead field mouse on her doorstep, she knows it's him again. when there's a flyer for a rooftop party between the hours of 9pm to 4am, she recognizes the moniker he's chosen for his dj name. when she's freshly 15 and a random human man tries to bait her into biting him, as a "joke", she knows it's because of what he left inside her when he left for good. whatever. she didn't ask to be born this way. it's not her fault other vampires think she's a joke and humans think she's an exotic little oddball.

rosalia, sitting on serena & leyla's couch, back on the cushions as she is upside down, fringe flipped to tickle the well-kept floor, from this angle serena looks like a giant, a saltwater goddess in a mini skirt: i can't even...

serena, tickling rosie's knee with a freshly dried set of nails: hmm?

rosalia, blood rushing to her head: i can't... do... any of that stuff.

which is true. she's never tried shape shifting, never read anyone's mind, never used glamor, never even sped or flew her way to class when she went to college, got in a lot of trouble because of it. she's never done anything "cool" with her vampirism, to much people's- odd and mortal alike- disappointment. vampirism for rosie is only taking the night shift at her tattoo parlor, ordering a dark red slushie with as much syrup as they'll let her get, and getting dizzy when too many right angles are in the same place. she dreads her monthly feeding, waiting in line at the food bank and getting weird looks for having a medium sized black suitcase under her arm, when all the other humans have cans of beans and loaves of bread.

serena, shocked: what?! no way, nooo way, you can hover, i've seen you do it.

rosalia: i can hover, i can't do all that other... um...

serena sees that she's making her nervous, uncomfortable, but finds it cute. rosie's hands always cross her chest when she's getting defensive. very dracula. makes it even harder to believe that her sweetheart doesn't "have" any extra abilities.

serena: okay, well, if you can hover, you can fly. don't you have wings?

rosalia, groaning: that's a birth defect.

she's talking about the fuzzy nubs at the bottom of her shoulder blades. serena has a habit of grabbing them when they have sex.

rosalia: they go away when i feel normal.

she means when she goes months at a time without feeding. no one recommends this, odd doctor or human doctor, but she likes to push herself. likes to feel her fangs dull and tips of her ears get round. it doesn't matter, ultimately, as the more she ages the more people see what they want to see: their desire is always mirrored by the vampire's appearance. walking down the street, she can always tell by the way men look her up and down, or the way women cover their children's eyes, that there's something she can never really hide. to them, she exists as extreme beauty, breathtaking to the point of threatening. she can especially tell by the age people assume her to be. she's so lucky to have serena, the only person she's met that's attracted to her because she looks like an adult. and other stuff too, but it's a relief to her perceived youthfulness. too many people, like that rotten human begging to be bitten, see her as a nymphette with a driver's license. serena is different, always has been.

rosalia: but i shave the hair off when they grow back-

serena, her hands over her face, dramatic: oh! don't tell me that! i don't wanna hear about you shaving, please, it kills me!

rosalia, rising from the ground, hovering above it while still upside down on the couch, smile on her face: what? you don't have any body hair!

they both look at each other, realization of what rosie said making serena beam, hiding her smile with her nails.

rosalia: okay, whatever, i didn't say anything.

serena starts to laugh.

rosalia: fucking stop! i didn't mean it okay, i forgot, i'm-

serena is clutching her sides, jewelry dangling through her laughter.

rosalia, now smiling herself, ears burning a deep pink: whatever. whatever. fish girl.

serena: ooh, i'm sooo scared.

rosie is being pulled in by her shirt for an apology kiss, and they have sex. rosie hisses whenever serena searches for her- currently smooth- tertiary appendages.

serena: me next.

rosalia: what?

serena, devious: bite meeee, pleaseeee.

rosalia, unable to focus on the rhythm of their bodies: cut it out.

serena, pouting: if you loved me you'd do it.

rosalia, stopping. her heart is beating too fast. she can hear serena's. she can feel the sides of her body flutter, almost gill-like. she knows she'd love it, love her, with or without the bite, and is just fucking with her. rosie takes it seriously, though. she closes her mouth over her woman's, grabbing as much of her body as she could fit into her two hands, and they finish, serena's breaths of pleasure trapped between rosie's lips.

rosie, sweaty, heart still pounding, irises gone, a sharp, dark green pupil left, her fangs bares. in a brief moment without any self control, she drags her bottom pair over serena's neck, stopping herself when she reaches her jaw.

rosalia, voice deep yet distant, an echo in their quiet setting, more akin to a long, hollow pit of snakes than any person's voice: i love you too much to ever do that to you. you understand? ever.

serena pulls her in for another kiss.

[cryptozoolliegy]

u should tell me about your ocs NEOW /nf

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HI!!!!!!!!! YES I WILL UM

OK SO I HAVE THREE MAIN GUYS RN BUT I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT THE OTHERS FIRST BECAUSE!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAaaa okok um

Kirix and Barlow are dragon people in a fantasy setting who get tortured for information and they were my main guys for a while but I kinda lost inspo for em for a while?? anyways they're in love. They go through the worst trauma imaginable (there's probably worse but... shhhh) and come out of it completely changed and also completely co-dependant and they have to regain independence together!!!! Kinda!!!!!! I love them so much

Then we have the Finleylore trio and all their AUs >:) We got Finley, Ripley, and Oliver

Finley is a 22-year-old businessman! He sells torture devices :3 actually he. doesn't sell them anymore but he did for like 4 years. He was a child prodigy and he got a doctorate at an INSANELY young age and yeah it's unrealistic but I don't care I write what I want!! After he graduated college he became a member of a villain group. Then he got captured and tortured for information by a rival villain group!! He spilled everything after a while and the rival villain company decided to try to turn him into a lab rat/living weapon but nope he got rescued lol. Long story short during the ordeal he made a talking rat friend!! Her name is Ripley and she ends up being Finley's best friend forever lol. Finley ended up going to a different universe with Ripley and making an interdimensional torture device company yay!! he's actually on an RP blog (@lordratwich ) If you wanna keep up with his canon hijinks

Oliver is a former shapeshifting superweapon in training and currently works as a a human trafficker because he is DONE with humans. Until he met Finley. He fell in love with Finley (They quickly broke up because of a very traumatic event but they're still friends)

And okay. FINLEY HAS SO MANY AUS get ready for rapid fire

Spring Heeled Jack - Finley Living Weapon AU

Cyborg - AU where Finley is recaptured by his first company and thrown in a torture basement where he's forced to figure out how to deal with being forced to torture people

Numb - Finley Pet Whump AU (I am hyperfixated on this and have almost written 3000 words for it in 3 days it is up to page 6 I'm)

I have a ton of other OCs but these are my main guys!! and I'm tired of typing but i'm so so so so so so so grateful that you asked tytytytyty

[obsessed2fics]

~ Doctor's Plan ~

Agent Stone x (f) reader

Part two {the masterlist}

Warnings: none

Word count: 15.6k

The next morning Stone woke up early as usual. It was Y/N's cat, Sylvester, who woke up at that time and accompanied him. He was standing on the table in the room, stretching.

"Good morning, buddy." Stone said in a low voice. Stone was patting the cat's head a little while he was trying to lick Stone's hand. "You must be hungry. Come on."

He had taken out the food and necessary containers from the cat suitcase that Y/N had prepared. And placed them on the floor by the window. Sylvester immediately began to fill his stomach with sweet murmurs.

Stone didn't go for a routine morning run that morning, he had no other clothes with him, and he slept in his suit last night. That's why he gave permission to himself for once. He sat down one of the chairs by the table. From where he was sitting, he could see Y/N, still sleeping.

"Who knew the doctor would have a daughter..." he muttered to himself. He pulled out his phone and started doing a little research about Y/N on the internet. What he could find was limited, she only used Instagram and she hadn't post in months. After browsing through her photos, he wanted to do a little deeper research, but he stopped himself. 'Maybe she's not secret box like the doctor.' he thought. Yes, there was this possibility, and Stone was set on to give it a shot.

After about two hours, Y/N woke up after her cat licked her face. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she was trying to come back to herself with sleepy eyes. Where was she? Ah, yes! Staying in the same hotel room in Montana, with an agent, whose first name she didn't even know was. Also, that agent was working for her father. Perfect.

She took the cat off her and sat up on the bed. Stone wasn't around, but his jacket and phone were on his bed. She had gotten up reflexively to feed her cat, as she did every morning, but she saw that the job had already been taken care of. The thought of starving Sylvester, by this hour, disappeared with the guilt that came with it.

"Good morning!"  Stone entered the room. He was carrying a tray with two cups of coffee and muffins.

"Morning."

Y/N went to wash her hands and face quickly and went back to the room. Stone was sitting with Sylvester on his lap, sipping his coffee. Her cat -who doesn't go to anyone and doesn't like strangers- seemed to like the man he had met just last night. Although this situation didn't bother Y/N much, but yet, she didn't want her cat to snuggle with him at that moment. As soon as she sat down in one of the empty chairs, she patted on her knees twice and summoned her cat. The cat, which had received the signal, had passed into his owner's lap without waiting for a moment.

"You have questions. Come on, ask." said Y/N after a long silence.

"Where did you get that idea from?" Stone asked, raising an eyebrow at her. He then took a sip of his coffee and placed the cup back on the table.

"I maybe not a genius, which I am, I know you have questions you wanna ask." replied Y/N.

By then, Stone was nearly choking on coffee. He swallowed hard and spoke, still holding the cup in his hand. "Wait, are you a genius too?"

"Um, even though I'm not lunatic like my dad... yes." she said, tilting her head to the side for a moment, looked at him and added. "Don't tell anyone."

Stone's surprise was short-lived. After all, he knew that the doctor's grandfather was a genius too, and it wasn't much of a surprise that his daughter as well.

At the time, Y/N felt extremely awkward for using the word 'dad ' when mentioning Robotnik for the first time. She repeated her previous sentence as she ran her finger over the rim of the cup.

"Come on, ask."

"Uh... Why haven't you communicated with each other until now? Didn't you want to?" asked Stone. His tone was so soft that Sylvester began to purr in comfort.

"I wanted, he didn't." she said with a rueful smile. "My mom and he were together in college, it was a one night stand but voilà !" she said, pointing to herself.

Stone looked at her with understanding and soft eyes, and she felt compelled to continue. There was something about the man in front of her that comforted her and made her want to pour out her heart, and she didn't know why. She lowered her head again and began to play with her cat's fur.

"When I was 10 years old, when my mom told me about him, I started writing letters to him and I was pressuring my mom to send those letters to him. But she didn't send any of them. When I turned 18, I wanted to contact him personally, I went to the address he was at that time and I introduced myself. The child inside me was burning with the excitement of the possibility of meeting her father. But do you know what he did? Didn't even look at me, he told me through his assistant at the time, that he didn't want to see me and that I shouldn't try to contact with him again." she said, paused for a while and continued again.

"Years after that, when my mother passed away, money started coming in from somewhere. I was curious and researched, then I found out that the money was from him. I didn't try to find him again, nor tried to speak again, I didn't say a word, didn't question him, and quietly began to accept the money he had sent. Because I was a senior in college and I needed money so bad."

She took the last sip of her coffee and turned to Stone, the rueful smile she was trying to hide. "Since then, the flow of money has continued non-stop every month. And if you hadn't come and found me, I probably would've thought he was dead when the money wasn't flow anymore."

"I'm sorry for you've been through." said Stone. He knew that the doctor was a difficult person and that getting along with him was one of the hardest things in the world. He really felt sorry for Y/N. The way she tried to ignore her feelings and stay strong while she was telling him her story, broke his heart. It was obvious that she still had that little child inside her. And Stone's next task was to protect them both.

"No need, agent. I don't even care, I'm just here for some adrenaline. And for my own safety." she said, winking at him at the last sentence. It wasn't right for her to agree to come with him just for the sake of adventure. Even though she didn't want to admit it, she was waiting for a reunion with her father.

"Well, tell me about yourself. I don't even know your name." Y/N changed the subject.

"I don't think it's necessary. You can just say Stone." Stone replied with a formal smile.

Y/N was looking at him with one eyebrow raised. She was beginning to think that he liked to play the mysterious type. After a few short seconds, she shrugged and lowered the cat in her lap to get up from the chair. "You're right." she replied briefly. "No compulsion."

"No, it's not what I meant. I just got used to being called by my last name." said Stone immediately.

"Ok." said Y/N, and shrugged slightly. She could feel Stone's gaze on her back as she walked over to her suitcases and picked clean clothes for herself. Ignoring his gaze, she went into the bathroom to change, along with the items she had chosen, and locked the door behind her.

"I forgot to mention, I only got one night off for Sylvester. They don't accept any pets at the hotel." Stone informed when Y/N came back to room again.

Y/N's brows furrowed. What the hell does it mean? "That's bullshit! I can't throw my baby out!" Y/N replied angrily.

"I know, I know. That's why I reschedule everything to leave by noon at least."

"Ugh! Alright…" she said, snorting. She threw her car keys at Stone and immediately began to gather her belongings. "You go check out and start the car, agent. I'll take care of the rest."

He nodded, knowing that Y/N wouldn't see it, and left the room. The receptionist, who greeted them last night, was there when he went down to the reception to settle the check out.

"I hope you are contented." said the receptionist with a smile. On the other hand, they was slowly doing their job. Very slowly.

"Yes." Stone dismissed them, but the receptionist seemed determined to continue to talk and bother him.

Stone always gave succinct and pass-through answers to they oppressive and probing questions, by then, Y/N had already come downstairs with suitcases and the cat carrier.

"No time for flirting, agent. Be quick." she said, walking past them and making her way to the exit door. Y/N's voice tone sounded different. Was she annoyed with this situation? Or was it just one of the classic Robotnik whines? Stone couldn't decide.

When he got to the car, Y/N was leaning against the car and waiting, her expression unreadable. "Sorry to keep you waiting." he said.

Y/N was still leaning against the car without saying anything. She was determined not to respond to Stone's attempts to talk to her. At least for a while...

Stone wasted no time putting suitcases in the luggage and getting into the driver's seat, while Y/N preferred to sit in the back seat with her cat. Watching out the window all the way, she seemed to have forgotten why she took a stand on Stone. She had expected Stone to tell his life story or his name to someone he had just met, just like she had done. But now she realized that it was absurd. Seriously, why did she do such a thing?

It didn't matter anyway. The main thing that puzzled her mind for the moment was how she got to this point. And she wanted to know why she was so important to the father she had hated for years.

After their not-so-long road trip, Stone had driven the car to a series of apartments overlooking the park. After a couple of buildings, he stopped and parked in front of one of them. "It's over there. I'll show you the way." he informed, looking at Y/N in the rearview mirror.

Y/N got out of the car, looked around  and the apartment. There was no sound, except for the sound of the wind and the faint sound of cars passing in the distance. It was almost peaceful. When she got to the door of the apartment, she waited for Stone and followed him into it.

When they got into the elevator with the suitcases, she was going to ask where he found this place, but the agent had already begun to explain.

"I rented a flat when the doctor came here to investigate Sonic. Much better than staying in a hotel."

Y/N hummed and nodded vaguely. When the elevator stopped and the doors opened, she stopped in front of the only apartment door on the floor.

"Welcome to my home. Uh, excuse me for a second..."

Stone had entered a long code on the panel next to the door and opened. Y/N thought it was one of her father's stuffs.

Once inside, she slowly turned around and surveyed the house. It was a nice house, simple and modern, not much to say. Unlike her own house, the area was tidy. She set Sylvester's carrier on the floor and opened it, the initially uneasy cat emerged after a few minutes and stretched out for a tour of the house.

"Please be comfortable as your own home." said Stone with a friendly smile.

"Oh, you just don't want that." Y/N teased him. As she was about to take off her coat and put it on the arm of the sofa, Stone took it from her hand and hung it on the hanger. "You seem pretty tidy."

Stone shrugged. "Occupational habit." he replied. "Coffee?"

Y/N hesitated for a moment, the coffee she drank at the hotel was mediocre and she didn't want to drink something like that again.

"I promise it won't be like in the hotel." Stone assured her.

"Alright then... No sugar, please."

"Noted." he said with a smile and left Y/N there and went to the kitchen. After a few minutes, he came back with coffees in his hands. It was espresso in two black mugs in front of her. "You can pick what you want."

After a silent second, she choose one of the mugs, then brought it to her lips. "Thanks." she said, first inhaled the scent of the coffee, then took a sip. Her eyes widened in surprise at the taste in her mouth, and she quickly turned her head and looked at Stone. "It's perfect?" she said, sounding like she was asking how he did it.

Stone's smile spread wide on his face at her reaction. "I'm glad you like it."

Y/N closed her eyes and took another sip of her coffee, she could definitely get used to that perfect taste.

"You said you'd show me the original note and the manifesto while on the road." Y/N broke in after a long silence. As she took the last sip of her coffee, she gave Stone a glance, as if waiting for him to remember.

"Oh... Yeah. It's on the computer." he said, and stood up and took a few steps from the living room to the corridor.

Y/N dropped her cup and followed him. When they came to the second door on the left, Sylvester was stretching out on the carpet a little further.

Stone gently opened the door to the room and stepped inside, stepping back for Y/N to enter. At that moment Sylvester sprang to enter the room whose door had opened, and stood at Stone's feet.

"I'm afraid this room is not for you, little one. You should wait outside." he warned the cat gently. Stone leaned towards him and stroked his fur, the cat purred with delight, laying his head in the man's palm. After a few purrs and caresses, Stone left the cat in the hallway and cautiously closed the door.

At that time, Y/N noticed that her lips were slightly curved upward as she watched Stone and Sylvester. She quickly shook her head, removing the smile from her face. As Stone turned towards her, her gaze began to wander around the room.

It was a small room; almost empty except for a bookshelf and a desk with two laptops on it. Her own computers could just as well fit in here. Yes, she had already entered into a plan to establish her own design.

Y/N was staring at the screen over his shoulder as Stone sat in the chair at the head of the table and opened the laptop in front of him. After the passwords entered by the agent, another fingerprint password appeared. Apparently, her father really did not want her existence known.

Y/N muttered a curse in surprise as Stone scanned the ring finger of his right hand into the computer.

"Clever bastard..."

Stone paused for a moment, casting a puzzled and questioning look over his shoulder at Y/N, raising an eyebrow. Why had she cursed at him out of the nowhere?

At that moment, their faces were quite close to each other, but neither of them bothered about it. Y/N seemed to be able to get the taste of the silence and Stone's gaze. She chuckled slightly. "Not you..." she assured him.

Stone was still staring at her in the same position, and Y/N had to make another statement. "Um... My mom hasn't had half of her right ring finger since she was little, and that 'clever bastard ' must've known about it so that's why he scanned that finger."

Stone's questioning gaze suddenly gave way to admirable ones. He had thought why that finger since day one and so that was why. Of course, no one but a Robotnik would know that. Of course...

"Wow..." he said almost in whisper. Then he went back to the computer, opened the Robonik's manifesto and the note and gave her his seat so that Y/N could see the screen more easily.

Y/N didn't say a word and sat down in the chair where Stone had risen, had felt again the strange feeling that came when she was thinking of her father.

She had read the manifesto carefully, and so did the note. She had read it many times, hoping that maybe the child inside her would find another piece of him, but to no avail.

Minutes later, as she closed the computer, she glanced at the agent who was standing quietly beside her. She was sure that she had mixed and helpless emotions on her face because the way Stone's gaze at her had changed; he looked more affectionate and caring.

His footsteps followed her as she silently stood up and made her way towards the door. "I believe the doctor will come back." said Stone.

"I hope he doesn't." Y/N replied to him. Even if her inner child wanted otherwise, she couldn't yearn for someone who abandoned her and refused even to see her.

{Hope you enjoyed! Part three will come as soon as I write. Stay tuned! Love you all!}

[creacherkeeper]

hi!! um. what. what do you mean you nearly died of heatstroke??

(warning for near death experiences, medical, puke, & child neglect ahead)

.

.

.

oh,,, well that's just One of the times ive nearly died (like the car crash. or the carbon monoxide poisoning. or the dog mauling. or the mrsa. or the second gas poisoning. or the-)

but essentially i went horseback riding. i hadn't gone for a while. it was 105f/40c and 105% humidity. all i had eaten that day was doritos and diet coke bc my parents were oh so responsible

am doing the lesson. the instructor does not offer me any water. it's in full sunlight the whole time. florida sun. she knows i have not ridden in a while but is pushing me to do physically demanding moves like trotting (hate trotting)

im doing this for like 30 min and go hey. can i take a break. and she's like yeah i guess

i stop the horse. sway for a moment. lean over to the side and puke everywhere and she's like Oh Shit

the horse does Not enjoy this so it bucks me off. i manage to land on my feet (ive landed on my feet all three times ive gotten bucked). i stand there for a moment and go Hmmm i can't see anything and collapse

i was unconscious for about 30 minutes. during the time i was partially awake i did not have any vision and could only see shrimp colors (i remember thinking they were really pretty and trying to remember them for later but i can't now). the instructor drags me under the shade of a tree and simply. leaves me out there. goes inside her house. i might've puked again but i don't remember. she never got my parents number so she couldn't call them to come get me. it's very touching spirit bear

(i feel like it's also important to note im allergic to horses)

finally my parents show up and im like hi ive been unconscious and still can't see anything and they're like oh so true so they pour some water over me until my vision comes back and then throw me in the backseat of the car with the ac blasting. take me home (not the doctor)

we get home and they're like soooooo. we have plans? so like. go sit in a tub of cool water and then sleep it off. and they leave

i got in the tub fully clothed because i was not coordinated enough to get anything off and riding clothes are tight. just sat in there for a while drifting in and out of consciousness. and then i dragged myself into bed and passed out

i don't super remember the next few days. but i lived lol? i just had a very bad brain injury that lasted for all of high school and some of college bc it was the summer before my freshman year (i had just turned 14). this brain injury did not get diagnosed until i was 24

so yeah :o) 👍 when i looked it up at age 24 it was like oh yeah if you have these symptoms it's like an 85% chance of death and i was like oh worm? didn't tell my parents that but i already wasn't talking to my mom and i only talked to my dad a handful of times after that (as im sure yall can understand)

truly i have survived so much i am invulnerable i think. and that's the story of my heat stroke

[vulgarvixxen]

cervical penetration with Patton. We need some morality pussy every once in a while.

I tried a different style but it doesn’t translate well on tumblr so check it out on AO3

Tw: non traditional genitalia, mild degrading, biting

There was a reason Patton wanted to be considered the fatherly side but the reason was lost on the dark sides who hadn’t grown up with him, see each side of the Mindscape evolved as Thomas grew in a mirrored way in ways that reflected Thomas’s thinking. As a kid he was told that there needed to be a mommy and a daddy, his mind decided that each half of the mind needed a girl to be the mom. On the light side Patton had originally been formed as “Patty” but she never felt like a girl, when Thomas got older and met more people his ideas and understandings grew too. “Patty” became Patton almost overnight with Logan and Roman being happy to accept their friend for who he is, they even helped him get top surgery when Thomas was in college and was studying biology.

On the dark side of the mind a similar situation occurred with the edgy trio, Virgil had once been called “Melinno” or “Mel” after the Greek poet. He hated being different and he changed his name and wore baggy clothes as soon as Thomas learned what being trans was. It did help that his monstrous(animal) form made him feel manly with his ovipositor. Of course Remus and Janus playfully teased him (at least they thought it was playful, Virgil didn’t get the memo) until he left for the light side. The GG trio never brought up Patton’s transition and Virgil never brought up his own, to their knowledge the other was a CIS man like the rest of the sides.

As Janus and Remus messed with their “rivals” the two remaining sides were hanging out in Pat’s room, casually cuddling and watching a blooper reel from a muppet movie. It was during a video with Kermit and Fazzy that a familiar and hot sensation washes over Virgil, he curses under his breath as he checks his phone’s calendar. His seasonal heat shouldn’t start until the end of the week, what was it doing here so early?! There was no time to go to the imagination and find a cave to hide in for a few days, Patton would be concerned if he just rushed off without explanation too.

“H-hey Pat?”

“Hmm?”

“Imtransandaspidermonsterandmyheatjustcameearlycanwefuck?!”

“Uhhh, Virgy, can you say that again but slower?”

“I’m, um, trans. I also ha-have weird genitalia. My heat cycle came early. C-can I, would you…can I deposit into you? I promise it won’t hurt! They’re all duds anyway!”

After a few beats of silence Patton tosses the bowl of popcorn to a side table and hugs Virgil close.

“Thank you for telling me, I meant to tell you forever ago that I’m a trans man! I’d love to help you out with your problem. And after we can talk to Logie about anything you might want done, he and Roman created a doctor to give me top surgery! Best Father’s Day present ever!”

The amount of information was dizzying…or that could be the hormones fogging up Virgil’s brain, he catches the gist of it and nods. Next thing he remembers is kissing, Patton kissing him breathless as they both groped and grinded with a feverish need. Pat pulls off his shirt easily and then starts on Virgil’s, revealed is the pink and purple galaxy binder,

“That’s so pretty, mine was real with palm leaves. Well…it was more of a sports bra than a binder, it was always too constricting for my taste.”

He tosses away the shirt and helps Virgil out of his binder, the emo is too horny to be bothered by his body being so not masculine. The skin looks irritated so Patton is sure to be gentle when he roams his hands down Virgil’s sides, the poor thing whimpering in need and relief.

“Pat, pl-please, need to be in you so bad!”

“Shhh, soon. Let’s get rid of some more clothing and then you can have me.”

Khakis are flung over to the rest of the clothing pile, boxers a second later, the zipper to skinny jeans followed after some shimmying. “Aww, your boxers match!”

“Patton!”

The galaxy boxers get tugged off and Virgil sighs in relief as Patton gasps in joy, Virgil’s ovipositor was thick and glistening as it waited for a warm place to be buried into. It twitches when a curious hand strokes it causing Virgil to moan, low and animalistic. In a split second decision Patton hops on top of Virgil, sinking down part way before stopping. The natural elasticity of frogs let him stretch around the girth without a problem, the combination of their slick making it even easier as he rose and sank at a quick pace.

“Fuck, fuck, you whore, should have been fucking you for years! You take me better than even Remus and he’s a good slut.” Virgil growls out, hands on Patton’s hips to pull him down with a harsher snap. The mild insult makes Patton unexpectedly more wet, “You like being my whore? Good, then you should know whores stay on their backs!”

With a movement so fast that it should have left them dizzy, Virgil flips their positions, he pounds into Patton at an unrelenting speed until he gets to resistance. “Shit, bet no one has ever fucked you this deep, huh whore. Don’t worry we’ll get used to it soon.” He pushes against the muscles blocking him from his goal for a short time then stops, the process repeats as Patton struggles to figure out if this is painful or pleasing. Just as he thinks that he’s going to have to tap out the pressure inside him gives and Virgil is inside his womb!

“Virgil! Fuck me, breed me, I’m your little whore! Please please, pretty please breed me!” The others could probably hear him but the thought didn’t cross his mind, actually the only thing he can think of is how knows that the pressure he wasn’t sure about is definitely pleasure. His heart jumps into his throat as he feels Virgil’s thumb circle his clitoris, a thrilled croak leaves his mouth followed by a breathy moan. Teeth are on his throat a second later, sucking and biting marking as Virgil plays with him. So much is happening that Patton cums without a chance to say anything.

Virgil bites him hard as he climaxes, “Now you can take all of them.” He purrs into Patton’s ear, venom making the other lax and pliable. The last few inches of his ovipositor pushes in and Patton whimpers, “Oh honey, it’s only going to get better. You’re going to feel so full soon, whore, and then we can have fun pushing them all out.” It sounds like a threat from a predator but it’s really a promise of my pleasure. Patton moans as he feels the first egg press through the ovi and deposit inside his womb, Virgil grins and nuzzles the bite mark.

Half an hour later Patton is the size of a beach ball and Virgil is cooing at the image, “Virgie, c-can you take pictures? I want to remember this for forever.” He can’t see which phone Virgil is using but he hears the click of the camera app. Patton actually liked this, he had always thought that being trans meant that he had to hate everything that came with what body he was made with but maybe he could indulge and still be dad.

[wolfwarrior142]

hii um this may sound totally weird but i was just wondering, and you totally dont have to answer if you're not comfortable, but was it really hard to do the schooling to become a nurse? did you have to do any residency the way doctors do? did you have to do a lot of hard chemistry classes in school?

im just a college student who's trying to switch majors and i just needed some advice and i keep seeing that you're a licensed nurse and you can totally shut me up now.

again dont answer if you're not comfortable, no worries!

Hello! Oh it's totally fine to ask! Nothing wrong with it at all. I'm no expert on this and may not give the most helpful or concise answer, but I will try my best. And you're more than welcome to also message me to ask more about it, I'm happy to say what I know (and imma post this so other people who may be curious can read it too).

I'll be totally honest. Nursing school is worth kt for those who are interested in the field, but it is also extremely taxing to most people. Depending on your school, you will take 1-2 years of prerequisits, then 2-4 years depending on if the school has an associates or bachelor program. If the school has only an associates program, you will most likely need to complete 2 years beyond that school to earn your bachelor's. Most hospitals prefer or even require RNs to have a bachelor's degree, so unless you work at facility that's desperate for staff or don't want as broad of job options, you'll need the bachelor's. So that's 4 years in actual nursing school, plus 1-2 years of prerequisits if you don't already have some done.

For what prereqs you'll need, that depends on your school. Chemistry was by far one of the hardest prereqs I took, and statistics suuuucks. I'm usually decent with math, but stats has SO much word problems that it's just as much deciphering written problems as it is math. Its very confusing, and the teacher I took it with was new so she didn't have the best grasp on explaining stuff yet. Definitely recommend finding someone to work with in that class cuz you may need the extra brainpower to figure shit out.

Anatomy and Physiology really depends on where you go. Some places have great teachers for it, some have decent ones, some have teachers that make you wonder if the teacher only got their degree so they could torture and shit on students (I had the latter. Our teacher's average class grade was a C. When she started, most people failed the class. And she was proud that her students had such low grades. She made it seem like it was out fault, despite the fact that basically everyone had shit grades in her class. I'm pretty sure I somehow passed with a low B and I hated that class).

That's only some of the prereqs, there are many more and they depend on the school. Thankfully a lot of schools are good about transferring credits between institutions, so if you took the class at a different places the credit should still be mostly good.

Now for the actual program. Do objective research on what nursing school is actually like, preferably from people who have actually done it. Look at multiple sources. Ask students at the place you'd take it at if possible. Get an idea of what it's like. Then think on it for a while and decide if you're willing to deal with that.

Nursing school is tough. It kicks your ass. It changes you as a person, both by making you more nurse-oriented and just as a person in general. It is very worth it, but it is also very intense and taxing for most people. If you are truly hesitant on if you want to pursue it, don't. At least not for right now. I'm serious. Nursing school takes a ton of work, and if your heart isn't in it you may have an extremely hard time passing. Or may not pass at all. And if you are any kind of neurodivergent, you'll likely have an even harder time. Trust me, I know.

Most nursing teachers are nice or at least chill. Some are mean. Some are absolute assholes. Doesn't mean they won't be beneficial, but they may make things harder for you. If they offer to help, then take em up on that offer when needed. There's a lot of things that take a lot of practice and studying to understand, and if theyre willing to help explain shit, that can make it easier. Besides, we were taught early on that being curious and asking questions and vital for nursing. You'll ALWAYS be learning new things, no matter how long you've been a nurse. And while you're in school, teachers who are willing to help you when needed are lifesavers. But be prepared that most of em will not help a ton as they do not want to hold your hand.

Find friends to study/work on stuff with. Figure out your learning style (hearing, reading, writing, hands on, a combo, etc). Develop a studying technique, and be prepared that you may need to alter it. Be prepared to spend most of your days engrossed in reading stuff for classes, as otherwise you're not gonna learn enough and you'll struggle. However, youtube videos from credible sources can really help.

The tests are brutal. They're different than most tests. There's literally a whole textbook made to help you figure out how to properly understand and answer NCLEX questions for a reason. There's a whole damn process on how to answer NCLEX questions. There have been many times where while answering questions at work for training (questions that are given to Medical Assistants (MA) as well as nurses), my MA coworkers will be confused by the question and why there's multiple right answers. And I just laugh and say "Oh I can immediately tell from the style of this question that it was written by an RN in NCLEX style. I'm so sorry." Questions on nursing tests are a whole other breed of questions, and that's because they help your brain think through things in a way that is beneficial when dealing with real pts. Which is useful, but also a pain in the ass.

You will HAVE to get used to understanding the process of stuff rather than just memorizing a single answer. Rarely are questions just about remembering a simple answer. They're mostly about understanding a process of how something works, and using that knowledge in the context of the question to answer it. If that makes sense. Like I said, nursing school rewires your brain. And when it actually works and you realize you're able to think about stuff and process it in that way, it is SO rewarding.

There's a lot. Nursing school is intense. Like I said, if you're truly hesitant and have strong doubts, don't commit to it for now. You have to be truly determined to give nursing school your best shot to start it, because if you're hesitant then you're mentally not gonna be as prepared as you should be to complete it. You still can, but it'll be difficult as shit and there's a solid chance you may not be able to.

I HIGHLY recommend getting a job in healthcare first if you don't have much experience with as a healthcare professional and are hesitant on if you want to do it or not. You can earn your CNA license, or go a step above and earn your MA license. Then work in a setting where you get to utilize that license. Then if you do decide to advance to get a nursing degree, you'll have a major leg up as you'll have medical knowledge and experience that will be very beneficial. Besides, many programs require students to earn a CNA license first, so you'll probably have to anyway.

There is nothing at all wrong with waiting a few years to get into nursing school. Tbh, a lot of my classmates were in their mid to late 20s or older and they seemed to have an easier time than us younger people did. They had their head on their shoulders better. They had an easier time focusing in school it seemed. Plenty of my classmates were also my age or younger and also did very well, but it really seems that being a bit older helps for a lot of people in nursing school. And the more prior medical experience they had, the easier it was for them.

I will fully admit that I didn't complete Registered Nursing school. There were multiple things that made me withdraw when I did. But I completed enough to obtain my Licensed Practical Nurse license (in my RN program, it's the first full year and first quarter of second year, as what is taught there is essentially equivalent to what an LPN class it). So I didn't finish yet, but I'm still making use of what I did learn. And after a few years, I plan to complete an LPN to RN bridge course. Currently I'm working as an LPN in a clinic to help build my knowledge in prep of that, and because my LPN license is still extremely useful and shows that I did at least something. Doesn't stop the absolutely raging imposter syndrome, but at least I am still a nurse and have something to show for what I did complete of nursing school (I withdraw close to the end of 2nd quarter of 2nd year, so after almost 5 quarters in. Just 1 quarter shy of a full RN license, which sucks, but I was struggling SO bad).

Do research. A lot of it. Look into what nursing school is like and what is required at the school you want to go to for it/at the school you're currently at. Nursing school is not for the faint of heart and it is not an easy degree. Some schools are a TON easier, but those schools tend to also not teach their students as well and produce people who have a harder time passing the NCLEX as a result. My program was very tough to get into, with hundreds of students applying each year and only 150 being chosen. And they grilled us HARD. But the harder programs tend to also produce more knowledgeable nurses. Hell, I passed my PN-NCLEX first try after only having to complete half the test before the computer program determined I didn't need to do anymore because of the score I already had (there's an algorithm that runs during the test that gives you harder or easier questions depending on if you get them right or wrong, respectively, and eventually it ends the test early if it determines that you've answered enough that you'd either pass/fail the rest of the test if you were to finish it. If that makes sense. It's super cool). And I hardly studied before the test because I was a nervous wreck (thankfully you can take it multiple times with not penalty except cost, which is SO comforting). And I like to think that the way my program taught us helped me have an easier time passing. Compared to some other people I know, who completed their whole nursing program from other schools and had to take the RN-NCLEX multiple times before they could pass it. The programs that are easier to get into are also easier to complete, which is SO nice, but they'll also probably leave you less prepared for the standardized state NCLEX test and nursing in general.

Still absolutely nothing wrong with completing an easier program, tho. You can only learn so much in nursing school and you leave it with only a basic knowledge of nursing in general. They cram a LOT into your brain and make you drink it from a fire hose, but there's SO much about nursing that is learned after you graduate. And you'll always be learning. ALWAYS. So the program you choose is only a starting point. Just your choice which one you go for.

I'm sorry, that's a lot. Nursing is a LOT. There's a reason why one of the phrases I adopted and used a TON in nursing school was, "It'll be worth it in the end, but god at what cost." (Also started and still frequently use "It's better to be safe than sorry.") It was tough, and I'm not super looking forward to when I complete my RN degree. But for those who are determined enough, it is so, so worth it. Its impossible to know what it'll be like until you're there, but just know it takes a lot of determination and accepting that it'll kick your ass. Your life will be Nursing School Only while in the program. You will leave a changed person. But if you're willing to do it, especially after doing some of your own research into it, I highly recommend it. It kicked my ass but I don't regret it for a second, and I definitely want to complete my RN at some point.

I'm driven to help people and have always wanted to do something in a medical field (animal or human), and nursing is one of the main ways I saw myself doing that. And even with my LPN license, I'm still in a position to help people. I have helped some people and always strive to do so when possible. I have no regrets. And despite how hard it is, I highly recommend at least considering it if it speaks to you as well. It is not a light, easy decision, but it's a worth-while one if you choose it and set your mind to it.

[animalistic0]

The Spider Deity

You know the saying, everything will work out? What they don’t tell you is that it doesn’t always work out in your favor. Let me start from the beginning, so you’re caught up to speed. 

Now I know most stories start with, years ago, or when I was a child. Those are most definitely outdated, but this did start years ago, more specifically when I inherited my maternal grandmother’s farmhouse. I was eighteen at the time, and starting college that fall. It was my first time living on my own, and more importantly, the house was all paid off! It had a recently redone well, and solar panels. As you can tell, my grandmother was a self-sufficient woman especially after grandfather died and most of her children moved away. My mother was the only one to stay with grandma, of course, I also stayed. Lardie, my grandmother refused to rely upon electric and water companies as she believed that she shouldn’t have to pay for electricity, water, or even food. Oh, which leads me to inform you that she had not only a garden but a farm on the property. Which I also inherited, from a large garden holding fruits, vegetables, and grain, to the animal pens holding sheep, chickens, cows, and even pigs. There was also a field for horses, but the last horse she had died two years before she did.  

As for why I inherited it and not my mother or her siblings, well my mother died when I was ten. It wasn’t really traumatic, it was more sad and stupid than anything. My mom, Linda, (yes my grandmother was a big L-name fan which I’ll explain in a moment,) died by a flashlight. Now I know you’re wondering how a flashlight can kill someone, well this is where it gets more stupid and sad. She was a huge bike-riding fan and was riding to the store one evening, and instead of strapping the flashlight to her handlebars, she put the flashlight in her mouth. (Why? I don’t know, I never got the chance to ask her, as she’s dead.) You see where this is going. I should also mention she never wore a helmet either. Okay so, with the flashlight in her mouth and no helmet on, she was going downhill and everyone knows how fast you go downhill, well as she hit the bottom of the hill in some freaky coincidental accident, from what we can assume her front tire hit a pebble and flung her off. She landed face first, her flashlight crushing through her skull. Now doctors assume she would have lived if she didn’t have the flashlight in her mouth, though she would have definitely had some nasty scars, but that’s how my mom died. My grandmother banned me from riding a bike at night after that, like at all, to the point that when the sun started to set she’d lock the bikes up. She also took me in because my father had never been in my life. (A long story for a much later time.) 

Now, my aunt Lucy and my uncle Lee, (see the L-name obsession), weren’t really involved with my mom or grandmother after they moved away and had their own families. Uncle Lee didn’t like the whole self-sustaining lifestyle my grandmother lived, and well Aunt Lucy she um, well she took Grandpa’s death really hard, saying she couldn’t be around us because the memories were too hard. So it was just a few folks that knew my mother through work and school, and of course grandmother and myself who attended her funeral. Now because my grandmother was my legal guardian and my aunt and uncle weren’t involved, that’s how I inherited the farmhouse.  

Grandma died at eighty-six, peacefully in her sleep from a stroke. She was sick for the last few months but refused to get help, she passed just four months after my eighteenth birthday. She was thirty-six when she had my mother, and was seventy-eight when she became my legal guardian. Now you’re almost all the way caught up, just a little bit more context. 

Now this is when the chaos begins. Now I had never moved out of the house so there wasn’t really any moving I had to do when I inherited the house. However, I did have to clean out Grandma Lardie’s room. Which wasn’t too difficult, she didn’t have much, I should also mention she was a minimalist but did keep every gift that I had given and made for her. I couldn’t find it in myself to part with her stuff, but I also couldn’t bring myself to keep staring at it. So I moved it into the attic and kept her room closed. 

Now see, having spiders around or inside a farmhouse isn’t abnormal, so when I noticed a spider here or there I shrugged it off. Especially the select three I had found in different corners of the attic while I was putting grandma’s stuff up there. They weren’t harming me, in fact, I started to notice fewer other pests, especially the bugs I hate. Like mosquitoes, flies, or even cockroaches. So if I saw one, depending on my mood I’d either just leave it be or capture it only to release it outside. 

Now, I can hear the people who have arachnophobia judging me, but again it’s normal to have spiders around, especially in a farmhouse, but don’t get it mixed up. We don’t, well usually don’t get an infestation of spiders, but like I said earlier not everything works out in your favor. Now while I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, I’m also not the dumbest, however, the following events would disprove me having any smarts, though it could also be explained as me being oblivious. As they say, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” and after hearing how my mother died, well you get the picture. 

The first sign that I missed that perhaps there was an issue came a week after I had moved all of Grandma’s belongings into the attic. It had been a rough day and I wanted to seek out the comfort of my grandmother. So I visited the attic. Okay, looking back there is no excuse for me not acting or thinking it was anything but abnormal, but at the time I shrugged it off. So, you know, how I mentioned there were three spiders when I moved Nana Lardie’s items into the attic? Well, a week later when I visited it had to be somewhere of around fifty spiders. I know, I know! But, the arachnids weren’t strawn about any of Nana’s or mine items, they covered the ceiling and the higher areas of the walls. They didn’t bother or hinder me from getting anything or from chilling in the room. So I ignored them. 

The other sign that I missed was the quickly growing number that kept appearing in the attic. Every time I entered the attic it seemed like the spiders had multiplied and covered even more parts of the attic. Still they never, or at least I never found them on our items or even traces that they had been around the items. There was also always room, untouched where I could maneuver to and fro from our items. 

By the third sign, I should have done something, but at the time I was still oblivious. Now the third sign wasn't anything big, like them growing in numbers in the first two signs. Sign three, well it sounds odd, but I would find small ‘gifts’ wrapped in web where I would sit when I came into the attic to feel Nana’s presence. By gifts I mean, coins, pebbles, pens, and I even once found a Hershey's Kiss (wrapped in foil and webs.) Now looking back I can understand how odd that is, but legitimately I don’t think I ever really processed that it could have been gifts or offerings from the spiders. 

In fact, it wasn’t till the fifth sign that I think the idea of “this is a problem” crossed my mind. I’m jumping ahead though, the fourth sign was minor, it was basically individual spiders that would get close, in my line of sight, and they’d start dancing. You know like their matting dances but different. Most of the time I didn’t see or I didn’t acknowledge them, I mean it's not like they were speaking to me. Ah…. Now that leads to sign five even perhaps a sixth sign. It’ll make since when I tell you. 

I didn't understand the spiders at first, I mean who would? I also was slow to realize that the spiders were getting smarter, in other words, evolving. Eventually, though, I noticed tiny items on some of the spider's heads, similar to hats, I should also mention I noticed them around the same time I thought I was hearing voices. Turns out, probably as you've guessed, it was the helmets allowing the spiders to speak to me and me to understand them. Crazy I know!

Now you’re almost caught up to speed, but there are still a few key points I need to mention. The hat thing came first, or it’s the first time I really paid attention to the evolving spiders. Now at first, I heard simple words like, “food, shelter, communication, preach, god”, and so on. Again, I thought I was going crazy until this eight-legged jumping spider landed on my shoulder and bowed! I mean like an actually bow, like this little fella held out its two front legs upwards and out as it lowered its body and spread out its other legs. I was shocked of course and was about to flick it off my shoulder when I noticed the hat and then a soft voice called out, “My lorrrrd!” 

I paused my finger before it could reach the arachnid and answered with a shocked, “Excuse me?” Though, I don’t think the spider understood what I meant because it gently tapped my shoulder with its left front leg before bowing again, its voice dragging the words almost like how an evil villain would. “My lorrrrd, please don’t be angry.” Let’s just say I fled the room like I needed to charge my phone that was on one percent and the charger was in the other room. I avoided the attic for the next month, as I tried to wrap my head around what had happened. 

People always say that aliens will come to Earth, but what if the aliens are from Earth, are beings that we have always underestimated? What if everything we grew up knowing and believing just evaporated before our very own eyes? I mean talking spiders, what are the odds or even the chances? 

Now, you’re all caught up to speed. You may be wondering, well what happened? We’re about to find out. It’s been a month since the talking spider incident and the handle on the door to the attic looked haunting and the anticipation of what waits behind the door is enough to make me want to turn around. But I allowed this situation to get here and now I must face what awaits.

The scene I open the door to is quite the sight, It’s nothing like actually seeing it, but I’ll try my best to do it justice. Around the four walls of the attic are legit, like professional-made, web murals of well, me!  These aren’t small murals either, imagine the Statue of Liberty, but for spiders, that’s how large these four portraits were. Below each mural was an altar that held private items of mine that I had put in totes and boxes because I didn’t have room around the house. At each altar there was a framed picture of myself, and surrounding the framed images, were trinkets and even old toys of mine. However, what really surprised me, was the newest items, like a TV remote, a hairbrush, even a toothbrush, and my favorite spoon, all of the things that had gone missing in the last month. 

Now the altars weren’t even the craziest part. You know those little-scale model cities that some adults have in their homes? Imagine that but everything is made of webs, and hundreds if not thousands of spiders milling around.  Surprisingly the area I used to sit at was left untouched, and so was Nana’s and my items, of course minus the trinkets that they had taken from my boxes. 

I heard them before I truly saw them. Thousands of voices all chanting the same things over and over again. “It’s her! Our lord, she’s back. Our lord is alive. All hail our deity.” The words rolled off all their tongues like a purring vibration of those spinning light-up wands. 

And that is how I not only came to realize a growing spider civilization but came to rule it.

And as all stories must come to an end I must end this here, but remember this, this is only the beginning...

You realize you should’ve done something about the spiders in your attic before they multiplied, gained intelligence and started a civilization. Recently they started worshipping you as their deity.