#she's everything that i am. or that i at least wish to be.

[eskir]

pining from a glided cage - sunday x reader

he watches you with a dull ache in his chest and handcuffs to duty - unrequited love on sunday's part

wc: 808 a/n talks: soft sunday w/angst :D got the idea from @eternity-death and i vibed with it a lot. also i'm proud of my first tag (please say yes)

Penacony can only be called the land of dreams, for the sole reason that it is in ones dreams. It will never be the land of fulfilled dreams, never the land where wishes come to fruition. Because even as life slumbers, nightmares run amok and bitter pieces of reality infest dreams, leaving the conscious person choking and gasping for breath.

But Sunday cannot awaken from the dream, so he is left watching you with an impassive face and hidden heart pains from a glided view. He loves you. He cannot say the words that dare to burst from his traitorous lips, nor can he express the sweet pains that reside in his chest. He is an administrator, the head of the Oak family, and he is bound by decorum, order, and the rules imposed upon him by the Dreammaster. He lacks control, so he craves it in everything he can hold in the palm of his insignificant hand. He is bound to Penacony, and he realizes that Robin, his dear sister, spoke uncomfortably bitter truth.

"Brother, I am leaving Penacony. A lavish yet empty cage that I have to leave, but I will miss it nevertheless. I hope you make it out of there, or at the very least, walk in reality."

But he cannot bear to leave Penacony, not when so much is expected of him as the head, not when the Dreammaster oversees almost every move of his, not when you reside in the place he can only call a home because of you.

For if you were no longer in Penacony, he would have nothing joyous holding him back. He would languish apathetically for all the Golden Hours, unable to pursue his dreams. So he makes sure to cherish the moments he has with you, knowing that you could leave at any moment like Robin did.

(he'll hold onto you with a tight desperate grip that he knows is unacceptable. he doesn't want to lose anyone else that's important to him. and even though robin is still alive, she is too far away and the presence of her letters only tears his heart up more.)

So whenever you visit him, bringing sweet treats that you know he'll like, talking about parts of your life, Sunday will listen. He always listens with that soft gaze that could almost make you believe that he is in love with you. He is, but that is a point you'll never acknowledge or realize. Sunday knows that, he can tell when you talk about someone you are clearly enamored with.

He's listened to you for a long enough time that he knows your tells. So when you talk about someone else that isn't him in a romantic light, he freezes. His smile becomes a little more forced, and he closes his eyes to hide the uncomfortable emotions that are swirling in them. In those moments, he misses you. Even though you are right in front of him, he aches for the old you and for Robin. You three would just run throughout the Dreamscape with no worries as children. He misses you even though you're right in front of him. He aches to reach out for your face and kiss your forehead gently.

But he can't, he has to restrain himself from any action that could be misconstrued as affectionate. He cannot do anything but drown in his emotions because that is what the Dreammaster ordered of him. The Dreammaster disapproves of him acting on his feelings because he must 'act accordingly' and 'not be distracted from his duties'. It's suffocating that he cannot reach out for your hand or your kind touch.

(he just craves you. he craves your presence and smile. he'd never have either of the two if you weren't close friends, but the proximity to you just makes his heart ache even more. he lets you touch his wings, even though he knows you only love him as a friend. he lets you, enjoys it even, with you play with his hair, commenting on how soft it is. he wishes that it was because you truly did love him, but it's just how you are, naturally affectionate. so he feigns the neutrality of a long term friend.)

So he smiles whenever you met up. His eyes always light up when you bring new sweet treats and you always laugh at his expression good-naturedly. It's a comfortable relationship that the two of you have, and when night falls, he'll always wish for your happiness.

(he just wishes that you'll never fall in love with anyone but him. he wishes that you won't fall in love with him because he cannot love you back and he doesn't want to reject you.)

Just like Robin, you are a star that he revolves around, never getting closer or further away.

[chloeseyeliner]

help, now that i have stopped tearing up at every mention of the series, the young royals forever documentary and the bts videos have brought my past obsession with film-making back-

[blueish-bird]

sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive

[celestial-toys]

been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying

[simonstamenovic]

i will not beat myself up over memory issues i have no control over

[nomaishuttle]

there waz that post ages ago i believe pre my sweeneytoddification beam (watched the movie on a whim and then immediately made my sibling and 💀💀💀 watch it with me (seperately (i watched it 3 times within 2 days (im fairly snti movie now its like.. whateverrr its kind lame. also ewww to the lead actor who shall not be named)))) that post tyat was like Whats the unreleased project/song/movie/game/whatever that youre modt sad abt... And i didnt ha e an answer at the tjme but oh my god dude its literally the restnof the 2012 london cast recording I WANNA HEAR THE REST OF THE SONGSSS

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

i can’t even celebrate the death of the queen because so many of the people doing that are cringe and i don’t want to be associated

[putredolarva]

@blostmian said ; ❝ Hey, what exactly are you doing here?❞ / from : 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

❝ What I'm doing here? I don't know, maybe I was simply trying to find a loud place to lay down. So far, it seems I've found it. ❞ He grimaces with sarcasm from his spot as he lifts the book he was reading. Waving it lightly from side to side as a matter to further emphasize his words before returning its back once again on top of the mattress where he was laying. Great. He should've known better than to positively keep retelling himself the same tale that even by turning a big side eye to this whole matter, that presence would still somehow manage to make its way into his path- this was the clear example that he couldn't even pretend to be positive about certain things.

❝ Oh but don't get me wrong, I'm happy you decided to oh-so-accidentally barge into my room and pay me a visit; however, I'm having― ❞ and as he speaks, a centipede that casually had decided to gather around him decides to crawl over the yellowed pages of his book, prompting Oberon to lightly pinch it in between his claws and lift it right in front of his field of vision, finding thus the perfect excuse to shoo the caster away from where he was staying. ❝ ―another visitor already. What a shame, just when we could finally get on the same page.. ❞

[arthur-r]

hi how is everybody doing??

[sanchoyo]

considering going thru the long and honestly awful ordeal of applying for social security again. things have consistently gotten worse but I’m also afraid I’ll put in so much effort and totally exhaust myself just to be rejected for the 3rd time bc I don’t have the resources to get anyone professional to bELIEVE ME and idk what I’ll do then….either way I get kicked off my dad’s insurance in may and job hunting has been going. Bad. Partially bc small town=no jobs I could reasonably do but also…. ngl ur guy has been self sabotaging a good bit out of fear. and then I feel guilty for doing anything that isn’t “productive” like looking for jobs….I wish I could chalk up this feeling to seasonal depression but there’s this undercurrent of panic and dread bc of the may deadline. And the fact that my medical tests put me in debt and were basically inconclusive so they won’t help if I do decide to apply to ss again….hrgggh frustrating times besties. But also it’s mostly my own fault so I feel like. Bad? Complaining at all. Like I could’ve had a job by now and stuck with it if I wasn’t …like this yk 💀

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[aroaessidhe]

2022 reads // twitter thread  

Silver In The Mist

in a land divided by a dangerous magical mist, a young spy is sent to infiltrate the enemy country and capture a young powerful caster to restore her own country’s dying magic

filigree magic

no romance, friendship & familial relationships

[spacedykez]

.

[khaoticqueer]

read hack/slash BTS's final issue and im so upset 😭 ik it would end tragically but it hurts so much man. cass and sam... sapphics of all time could've had it all

[usareiis]

Evangelion 3.0 was supposed to be Shinji and Kaworu's Adolescence of Utena and it just wasn't. Like it had all of the elements to make something interesting. Kaworu has been going around for two movies now asking if it's his turn to show up and it was so fucking juicy at the end of the second movie that he said he was going to make Shinji happy this time like he knows they're in a time loop and instead of time looping in the cool interesting way that Adolescence of Utena did where the original concept repeated itself to the point it cycled back around and gave an alternative ending that said new interesting things about the themes we have been talking about all along, Eva 3.0 just relied on us caring about the original in some kind of vague yaoi way and tossed in some piano aesthetic and ultimately didn't say or do anything new when it was literally supposed to. It's just one more side effect of what I think is a fault of all the rebuild movies so far- the animation is so polished that it's lifeless and all of the important character work is completely lost in the shuffle until it feels lifeless too.

But considering how much Kaworu tipped the narrative in the original anime despite how little screen time he had and how much he's been hyped up here I really expected something new here and didn't get it. Part of what made the Kaworu narrative in the original anime so interesting was that for twenty something episodes we felt Shinji's loneliness and isolation and we trudged through so many episodes with it that Kaworu's presence felt like such a palpable relief in how he wanted to talk to Shinji and touch Shinji and it was also completely sinister in that he was just saying those things because that was just what Shinji wanted to hear. None of that was conveyed in 3.0 and that would be fine if it said something else interesting about their situation and it literally said nothing at all.

[weepingactorsoverpopmusic]

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