#everyone. which like sure i guess but choose a different word maybe i was saying it like laid in my headkahdgkjdf

[aroaessidhe]

2022 reads // twitter thread  

Silver In The Mist

in a land divided by a dangerous magical mist, a young spy is sent to infiltrate the enemy country and capture a young powerful caster to restore her own country’s dying magic

filigree magic

no romance, friendship & familial relationships

[robin-buck1ey]

So a lot of people who come across ronance think like “sure yeah I could see Robin having feelings for Nancy but it’s most likely unrequited love “

But that is such bull shit

There’s no way Nancy didn’t fall in love with Robin.

Robin communicates with her, try’s so very very hard to be clear about everything which neither Steve, who didn’t even ask why Jonathan was over and instead publicly slut shamed her, Jonathan who has been repeatedly lying about college, her parents who barely speak to eachother, and her brother who she only ever argues with, have ever done. But then there’s Robin wanting “to be sure, that [she] knew”

Nancy who has been saying since season 1 that she doesn’t want to fit the expectations society gives her. That she wants to do what she wants, what makes her happy. And then she meets Robin. This girl who wears whatever she wants, doesn’t get with the “perfect” guy despite everyone pressuring her to do so (the exact reason why is unbeknownst to Nancy) Robin who seems to give no shits what most people think. Who is constantly ripping apart societal expectations, something Nancy wants to do too

Robin who stood up to the professor accusing him of misogyny, something season 3 Nancy had been constantly struggling with. Robin who in a few hours of knowing her showed more understand of her struggles and validation of them more than Steve or Jonathan ever have.

Robin who at first seemed to be doubting Nancy but in reality was shocked that Nancy hadn’t had this incredibly reliable and thought out plan or lead (which turned out to be right in the end) Robin assumed Nancy was right from the beginning and it wasn’t until Nancy had doubt in herself that Robin thought maybe this time she may have been wrong. Robin called Nancy a genius once they left the library, but with Jonathan, Nancy had said to him that she “looks forward to [him] not doubting her next time” but guess who was there the next time not doubting her? Robin

Robin who despite her being seemingly different in every way possible to Nancy, bounced off of Nancy’s ideas. They worked the same problem at different angles until they met each other in the middle. Robin who brought a perspective Nancy had been missing. Their intelligence finally finding someone to match.

Robin who Nancy so frequently worried about, trying to reassure her, holding her hand, her voice gentle, her words a promise, her face soft

Robin who she had become so fond of. Her clumsy-ness although at times concerning becoming endearing.

Robin who she had wrote an article about for her brilliance. (This is an article Nancy wrote which was handed out at Stranger things Experience so it is real and not fan made)

The real Robin she “adored” seeing come out

The Robin she wanted so badly to be friends with that she had to make sure it was official

Robin who she choose to pair with in Creels house, car rides, and to visit Penshurst

Nancy, who looked like this because of Robin

Nancy Wheeler is head over heels for Robin Buckley, if you don’t believe me just ask Natalia.

[sassydefendorflower]

In case of their death, each Bat has a dedicated spot where they keep their will/private messages to different members of their family/their friends.

It makes sense in their line of work.

Tim's is a hard drive, no surprise there, but he made sure the code to access it was just stupid enough that most of the family would have to come together to crack it (and even then, they still have to call Bart for the final clue) - it’s something stupid and sentimental, something Bruce would never have guessed Tim would choose as a password. Maybe Quadruple Summersault. Or Short Pants. Or Second Mask. Or Always Be Prepared. Or maybe just I Love You.

Babs has a lot of video messages just in case. She wrote code that would automatically send her last words to everyone she cherished (her dad, the Bats, the Birds of Prey, her co-workers at the library) should she forget to enter the I'm Still Alive Code. (she has to stay at the hospital once without her phone and accidentally sends her last words to everyone - Gotham is chaos for a day until people manage to check in on her).

Cass has already hidden all her goodbyes in the rooms of those she thinks deserve it. Once she is gone, she hopes Bruce will find the letter in her nightstand. The one that says "my words are still here, you just have to look for it" - which is a bit ironic, considering most of her letters consist of funny cartoons and nice memories captured in the chicken scratch of someone who might never be a portrait artist but can undoubtedly catch a moment in time with just a few strokes of a pencil.

Dick updates his will every couple of months, just to be safe. And his letters? His final words? Those are usually stored with a civilian friend or two. One batch is definitely kept at Titans Tower. All of these people have instructions to send them once the news of his death has hit the public. His letters are unusually long, filled with jokes and anecdotes, and a lot of things he never quite managed to say before. For someone who likes to talk, Dick is awfully good at saying nothing. But that's not how he wants to die - at least not this time, so long letters it is.

Jason doesn't have a lot of letters, or a lot of anything really. He just has a very detailed will. A binding legal paper that explains exactly what the family is supposed to do with his body. He's not gonna take any more chances with this. At the end of his will, there is only one addendum: I love you. Please let me be dead. Nothing more - nothing less.

Steph is a bit obsessed with the details of her death, maybe because her first close encounter resulted in a complete loss of agency. She wants to plan it down to the smallest bit, and since she knows she cant do that, she plans everything else. Where she wants to be buried, what songs should be played, what kind of food should be offered... and in each of these instructions there is a personal message hidden just within. She wants Bruce and Tim to carry her coffin, carry her one last time. She wants Cass to dance at her funeral, and Babs and her mom to write the speeches. Small love letters hidden in a search for control.

Damian is needlessly good at compartmentalizing, or maybe its because he's just twelve. He should think of himself as immortal, and nothing is crueler than the fact that he doesn't. He has a will, hidden underneath his mattress because he's too young to actually request legally binding documents. And he has letters and paintings and notebooks - in the hopes that when they find them they'll remember him as a boy and not a weapon. For someone so desperately striving for the title of Robin, Damian mostly wants to be remembered as a son.

For a long time Duke didn't partake in this "family tradition". Because he saw himself as outside of them, as someone with parents, as someone with a home. But a dozen close calls, and suddenly mortality becomes something else. So he saves his will on the Batcomputer, addressed to his parents but protected by Bruce. And he writes small notes. Thoughts. Ideas. Things he thinks they will appreciate should he be gone one day. And he leaves them lying around. Maybe the mark he makes is hidden in the small things. The post-it notes and exploded overhead lights. Duke would be fine with that.

And then there is Bruce, who - in a way - cannot die. His legacy is the Cave, his brain a part of the mainframe they use to fight crime. And he knows that. He knows that no matter where he goes, he will never be really gone. So he makes sure that one day - long after he has passed - the Batcomputer destroys itself. To set them free. To leave them with the physical memorabilia of Bruce Wayne, and no longer with the desperation of the Bat. It's the biggest love letter Bruce can imagine writing - the possibility of being free.

[ctinalk]

Is Crowley already the new Supreme Archangel?

A few oversights made millennia ago, and suddenly we have a demon archangel on our hands.

Caution: I came up with and wrote this in the last few hours so potentially crackpot theory ahead. Apologies if this has been proposed before, it’s not one I’ve seen. And I’ve seen A LOT.

So supposedly the miracle Aziraphale and Crowley performed together was something only the mightiest of archangels could have done. Everyone assumes it was Crowley because they think he was a high ranking Angel formerly. Or that it was the two of them together. Or that Jimbriel amplified it. But what if…

“There is always a supreme archangel”

Michael says this in S2E1 when talking with Uriel about who is in charge now that Gabriel was missing. Gabriel was removed from office in the trial we hear, he’s no longer Supreme Archangel. If so, Michael’s statement would imply that as soon as Gabriel’s removal happened, a new archangel already existed. Now obviously the Metatron is making a show of choosing Aziraphale as the new Supreme Archangel. But is that within his power to do so? Or is he suggesting working with Crowley for a different reason, possibly unknown even to him?

“I am the only first-order archangel in the room, or you know, the universe”

During the “2nd Armageddon-that-wasn’t” discussion, Gabriel says these words. As he says them, it cuts (ominously isn’t the right word here, pointedly maybe?) to Crowley leaning against the desk, and lingers there just a bit too long.

“How do you know it wasn’t me?”

Another clue to the powerful angel Crowley was. It was clearly said in a teasing manner throw Shax off. But much like the barrel of red herring in the intro, is it a red herring to something else?

“Can you send lightning bolts and get them to report back to you?”

The only other time we see someone calling lightning or using it is, you guessed it: Gabriel in S1 on the airbase to port in and out. I’ve read the theory that Angel!Crowley was the lord of lightning, which I’m not opposed to, but to me this is another link.

“Never change their passwords”

We have one HUGE instance of Heaven being sloppy in their record keeping (passwords), and lax in their security protocol (Crowley bopping about with Muriel). Whereas Hell is meticulous in their record keeping, as shown by the bills, admissions process, and S1 contract.

So what if: when Gabriel was stripped of the title, a new Supreme Archangel was automatically appointed. Except instead of someone else, because heaven neglected to double-check their logs after The Fall, Crowley was still on the books as next in line? This would absolutely play into “God playing games with the universe” and “just think what would have happened if we’d been at all competent” themes running through both seasons. It would also follow the theory that people noticed Aziraphale and Crowley were on the “wrong” side for much of the season. It would also explain a few continuity errors along the way (how did Crowley know Muriel’s rank? He knows it through the knowledge automatically given to the Supreme Archangel).

“Funny ol’ world, isn’t it?”

Caveats and potential weaknesses:

I have no idea how this fits into the fact that S3 will be the actual continuation the Neil and Terry planned, as to my knowledge S2 was essentially a “Neil’s chaotic angsty ineffable husbands fanfic”. But clearly S2 has to play well into the plan for S3. I also kind of hate my theory because Crowley specifically declined to be an angel again, and his hand has been forced too often already.

Now I am a staunch advocate of the body-swap theory, and I’m not sure how this would play into that. Does Metatron know? Does he think he has the power to appoint? Does he think the title went to Aziraphale because of the miracle? Does he try to get Crowley to come back with Aziraphale to exploit his power? Does he know about the body swap in S1 and if so, was he trying to trigger another one to get the right “soul” to heaven?

There are a few other things I haven’t figured out how to incorporate into this post yet. I’ll try to put them into coherent thoughts in the next few days, but thought I’d throw this to the wolves universe for the time being.

Thought 1: “How have your lot managed to stay in charge all this time?” “I’m not so sure we have.”

Thought 2: I need to do (another) rewatch before I nail this one down (such a sacrifice I tell you), but does Crowley have a visceral reaction like he does in S1 to being called “good” in the current, post Gabriel-removal timeset? Obv in Edinburgh/Job, but that’s in the past. He denies it, sure (with Jim), but he straight up flashes a smile and thanks Mrs. Sandwich when she says “You’re a good lad” (after the denial).

2.1: No one calls him “good” in present day except these two instances. Vast difference in the visceral reactions of season 1 and flashbacks.

Thought 3: Crowley is the only one who can trigger Jimbriel’s recall memory.

[yurislilygarden]

ʚїɞ Self Aware! Hazbin Hotel

ʚїɞ Their reaction after becoming self-aware and first thoughts about reader! part 1

ʚїɞ Angel Dust and Husk / Part 2!

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ Word count: just about 1.1k

ʚїɞ Part 1! (Lucifer and Alastor)

ʚїɞ This is WAY shorter than I would like, but I suppose that the first part was more filler-like for the au😭 May rewrite it one day ngl, am not satisfied with how this turned out but I've been at this for way too long

Very few characters would notice something wrong on the first watch of the show, but wouldn't realize, nor become self-aware until the 2nd or further watch. 

While everyone's reaction would be different with different amounts of stages before total acceptance of the situation, they all would share the first emotion, simple disbelief. They would first need to even process the fact that they're not real, that they were created solely for the purpose of entertaining… something? Someone? In a completely different Universe. That everything that they thought had happened to them before they died didn't actually happen, they were never alive in the first place. Only after that did the emotions and reactions differ. The very first emotion or actual personal reaction would be:

Angel Dust

Irritation, a little bit of Anger, paranoid

Angel would be mainly irritated and somewhat angry due to realizing that all his pain was technically for nothing. The treatment from Val? His life back on earth that supposedly never happened? His life generally in hell? All that pain and suffering just to entertain someone? At first, he doesn't want to accept that it never happened, that he never existed, that he was never actually alive. That he’s just a 2D character. He just can’t.

He would become paranoid after the immense stress from noticing the little butterfly flying above them from time to time came in, after all, he had no way of knowing if he himself or others were watched only when they could see the little glowing motherfucker, or maybe they could be watched even without seeing them, without their knowledge. He would be a little disappointed in himself for not noticing anything earlier, especially since they don’t know just how long have you been watching them. He'd be up for drugs way more than ever, no, he didn't want to disappoint Charlie or anyone else by fucking up the progress he'd been doing, but surely they would understand looking at the whole picture right? He’d rather go back to being blissfully unaware than knowing he's not real if it means he's gonna feel like this. He hates it. He hates you.

At least at the start.

It was soon after he became self-aware that the others realized why he was acting more strangely than normal and filled him in on what they knew, which was barely anything, to tell the truth, but it was enough to get him thinking. Were you as bad as he first thought if you did nothing but watch them the whole time? He will blame Charlie for all the better thoughts of you, but he started thinking, what if you really can't do anything but watch? He knows others have mixed thoughts about what can you do, an example being whether you can only watch, or do you choose to just watch. He's on the ‘can only watch‘ team.

His feelings were mixed for a pretty long time. On one side, he thought he should be against the small glowing thingy, but there's also the other side seeing that you do nothing to them, just watch.

(I would say that he would have a little soft spot if you reminded him of Molly, his sister, but we don’t know anything about her. I’m guessing she was nice/good since she landed in heaven, so yeah, remind him of his sister in some way and there’s a soft spot he tries to hide.)

He was really negative at first, starting out as really irritated, but with time and help from the others (mainly Charlie since she didn't want anyone in the hotel to be against you), he did get to the neutral zone, and by the time any of them meet you, he would be in the more positive neutral zone.

Husk

Anger and worry

To say he's pissed would be the understatement of the century. The moment he processed his, everyone’s, situation and the disbelief passed, he could just feel anger, because how dare someone disregard their feelings, their whole damn existence like that? Do you think that they’re some sort of clowns that are supposed to entertain you?! Like most characters, he’s disappointed in himself as well for not noticing earlier. It’s even worse when there’s others who noticed before him and didn’t say shit.

But as much as he's pissed off, there's actually the feeling of worrying just under. What does it mean for them now that they realize they're just characters in a show, that they find out something they shouldn't? Can it fuck up their life on this side? Can it fuck up the whole city or more because of this? Should they try to continue living like they don't know shit or try to communicate with you or your world? Similar to Lucifer's, his mind is a mess.

Like everyone, he hates the idea, the knowledge, of the fact that they all are just some 2D characters created to be in some sort of a show to entertain people. Did that mean that his whole past of being an Overlord didn’t happen at all? That his supposed memories of that time were fake? Could he have been free from the deal if he had an actual choice in his actions?

He would keep reminding himself all the time about their situation even if he doesn’t want to, his mind just goes there without permission. He feels his skin crawl thinking about all the time that they’ve been watched, controlled, without knowing, for who knows how long. He would be in the middle when it comes to when all of the characters became self-aware, there were some before him, but there were also some people after him.

Reader can only see what they're meant to, and the characters realize it over time, but Husk knowing it leads to him sometimes trying to catch the small glowing butterfly in his paws when he is off screen/camera for you. Which he fails at every time as his hands just phase through your small form.

The others can just occasionally see him jumping up and down trying to catch the little shit or use his wings and try to catch your small form like that just to fail every single time.

Like with everyone else, you could have a small personal favor. You would have a sort of a plus point in his mind if you turned out to like gambling or card games, he would find the idea of playing with/against you somewhat enjoyable (he would think of gambling for answers, a deal where the one who wins a round will ask a question and the other has to answer to the best of their capability).

It would take longer than most, even with the others trying to help, to get him to the neutral zone, never mind the positive one. It was hard for him to see you in any other light than negative when they had so little information on you, for all they could know, what little they had could’ve been completely wrong. So his feelings start at practically despising you, then after a longer time going into simply not caring as much, shrugging off, if you will, and that wouldn’t change too much until he meets reader personally.

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

｡⋆｡˚ ʚ Taglist ɞ ˚｡⋆｡

@laundrybear413

[jagibee]

Call Me Luna

(Stray Kids x Reader)

Chapter 2

2,355 Words

A/N: Y’all have no idea how hard I fought for my life against Tumblr to post this. Hope you guys enjoy, lmk what you think!💞

…

Honestly, you had never intended to sign on for a job with a big company, especially one that was just starting out with an omegan caretaker program. It was just easier to settle down with a nice rich pack where your clients already had cooks and cleaners and you mostly just had to listen to the members complain about each other and settle minor disputes. That was how the last pack you worked for operated.

But, you applied anyway. You were a fan of several of the bands and it was no big deal if they rejected you, which was pretty likely. If they only had one caretaker per band and a couple hundred truly qualified candidates, the odds weren’t 100% in your favor, especially because you didn’t grow up in Korea. Still, it would be an interesting story to tell people.

Even if there was a 99.99% chance they were rejecting you, it still took you some time to muster up the courage to open the email from JYPE.

When you finally managed to do so, you were sitting in your bed with your laptop in front of you. Just in case you took the news worse than you thought, you opened up a tab for how to start a new life.

Nothing bad was going to happen, you reminded yourself, the email either says yes or no, they aren’t going to come beat you up if they reject you.

Sucking in a deep breath and closing your eyes, you clicked on the email. Giving yourself a few seconds to enjoy this moment before your heart broke just a little, you finally opened your eyes.

“Dear Ms. L/N Y/N, we were quite impressed with your blah blah blah yada yada yada…” Glossing over all the formalities, your eyes skipped to the important part.

“After careful consideration, we’ve decided to accept you as an omegan caretaker for one of our bands.”

Wait.

Shit.

Shit.

What?

They wanted you as the omegan caretaker of one of their bands? Choosing not to trust your eyes, you read over that sentence five more times before collapsing backwards onto your bed, exhaling harshly.

You sat back up to read the rest of the email and see if they specified which band. Maybe it was a completely made up band just for a prank or something.

“Unfortunately we are not at liberty to tell you which band you will be working with just yet, for safety and privacy reasons. You will be told your assignment once you meet with us in person.”

Shit, you thought, I guess I’ve got to pack.

…

You weren’t sure whether it was better or worse they didn’t tell you which band you were assigned to.

For the entire duration of the flight, you were wondering which group it would be and what you knew about each one. You couldn’t think of anything else and you couldn’t go to sleep or anything, no matter what you tried. However, if you had known who it was, your mind would have done the same, only it would have been freaking out about certain members and what each person was like and what they needed from you.

Secondary gender dynamics were a bit of a controversial subject in the kpop industry. Some companies made their fans aware of their idols’ classification, even some talking about it freely in interviews.

However, JYPE kept most of that information private. Of course, there were guesses made by the fans, and sometimes stalkers who tried their best to uncover their bias’ secondary gender.

You didn’t want to make assumptions, but you did know that most groups had alphas as their leaders, a bit of an out-dated custom but as long as the group dynamic worked and everyone got along with each other, it was above your pay grade.

Also, something you would have to adapt to would be if you were assigned to a boy group or a girl group. The difference didn’t matter much to you personally, but in the industry, there were certain things you had to consider.

After a while of all this swirling around in your mind, even some of it getting jotted down in your Notes app, you were startled from your thoughts by the pilot’s voice, telling you that you would be landing soon.

Honestly, after that, you kind of forgot the rest, it all happened so fast.

You arrived at night and found a person with a sign reading your name. You walked up and introduced yourself. They had a car and you got in.

At some point, you had tried to get out information regarding the group you had been assigned to, but apparently “once you meet with us in person” did not extend to your driver.

You were taken to a nice hotel that had been paid for by the company and told to rest. There would be a meeting at the company in the morning.

Just like on the plane, you knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep, so you took your time getting ready.

There was a huge shower and a nice tub, so you decided, ‘screw it, I’m doing both’.

You washed yourself with soap that highlighted your natural omega scent and when you dried off, you lotioned everywhere.

After taking a tentative sniff of the hotel body wash, you were glad you brought your own. Evidently, all the money that the hotel got from its rich guests didn’t go into shower products.

You washed your face until you had practically rubbed a layer of skin off and then spent far too long picking an outfit.

Despite the limited space in your suitcases, you finally managed to find one you deemed adequate.

Checking yourself over in the mirror, you couldn’t help a little shiver of excitement.

Holy shit they want me. Me! MEEEEEEE!!!

Unfortunately, the excitement quickly turned into anxiety.

Fuck, what if they don’t? What if they look at me and say “oh shit she was actually supposed to go into the ‘never ever ever pile’”? Or worse. They know it’s you and they’re expecting you to be amazing and then you’re going to somehow set the building on fire.

You flopped backwards onto the way-too-big-for-any-one-person bed and just decided to space out to some music.

While you weren’t actually in the music business, it was cool that your new job had led you somewhere more . . . music-adjacent.

After listening to one or two songs and washing away your thoughts, your alarm went off, telling you it was time to go down to the lobby where another car would be waiting for you.

It was a short drive to the company and for the most part, you had managed to keep your sanity in check. However, once you saw the signs outside the building, your heartbeat skyrocketed.

Is this meeting with the managers or just the band? Maybe it will just be with managers or a special team for organizing the caretakers. Would you get to meet the other caretakers? That could be fun, getting to share tips and exchanging stories about awful clients.

That thought calmed you partially, but most of your brain was consumed with just one concern: god, I hope the band likes me.

You were ushered through the door and a pretty beta who introduced herself as Jisu took you to an elevator and up to the conference room where your meeting would take place.

They had given you a pastel yellow lanyard that said ‘CARETAKER’ and when you looked around the room, you could see that most of the people in the room had one as well.

After telling you to sit anywhere, Jisu left the room, presumably to greet and guide someone else.

You smiled at the people in the room, there were three other caretakers sitting at a table and two people who stood up looking down at clipboards. All of the caretakers were omegas, along with one of the clipboard people, but the other was a beta. One of the caretakers, a dark-skinned woman who looked to be just a couple years older than you, smiled back kindly and you elected to sit next to her. Her scent was like sweet wild berries.

She leaned over and whispered, “So, first time in Korea?” You couldn’t place her accent, but you wanted to hear more of it.

You turned to her and nodded. “Yes, but I’ve studied the language and culture so hopefully I’ll be able to adjust quickly.”

“Yes, but you can only learn so much without actually being here. It’s very different from my home,” she mused.

About to ask her where she was from, you were interrupted by Jisu escorting another person with a yellow badge into the room. Immediately after, a beta man in a suit came in with a bunch of files and sat down in the front of the room with his hands folded in front of him.

“Greetings, I am Park Kwang-sun and I will be overseeing all of the omegan caretaker operations. Today, we will train you on what the company expects from you as well as how to deal with any problems that will arise. Mostly, we will focus on what you can do in public and on camera versus what you can do in private. We should end at around lunchtime and then, after a break, you will receive the assignments regarding which band you will be tending to.”

You could feel the air go a little sharper, with every caretaker in the room anticipating which client they will get.

Kwang-sun continued on. “After that, you will meet with one of the managers of that band to discuss specifics and then the cars will take you back.”

Okay. Okay, no actual meeting the band today. That was fine. That way you could study up on the members and decide the best way to interact with them.

You settled in for a couple hours of watching a slideshow, telling you mostly that you couldn’t curse, reveal private information, or do anything inappropriate on camera or in public. It was a bit obvious and therefore a bit boring, but seeing a serious, professional man in a suit and perfect haircut stand with a slide behind him displaying every curse word you could think of, in English and Korean, did bring you some amusement.

Kwang-sun explained that since they were just starting out with an omegan caretaker program, along with the rest of the kpop industry, your role could be negotiated into what you felt was best for the band. If you just wanted to take care of them in private, or if you wanted to be with them 100% of the time, you could bring that up with the band and their managers and they would figure out the best way to adapt.

When it was time for break, they brought up meals from the cafeteria that were actually pretty good and you got to know a little about the other caretakers.

The dark-skinned woman was named Saira and she was born in India but studied in Paris. There was another woman, lighter-skinned but with striking purple lipstick named Millie, who was born and studied in London. The curly-haired man sitting next to Millie introduced himself as Justin, and he was from Cairo. The man who came in after you said his name was Jae and he was from Busan but studied in New York.

The company must have been serious about finding the best people for the job since these people came from all over. You felt slightly intimidated and definitely under qualified.

You were evidently the youngest there, then Justin, Millie, Saira, and finally Jae, though you and Jae were only a couple years apart.

You learned that Millie had always wanted to be a caretaker, inspired by the one that her pack had when she was young. Jae was originally planning to become a doctor and had even completed a year of pre-med, but decided to focus more on mental health. After growing up in a pack mostly made up of omegas, Saira studied pack dynamics with a focus on alphas in order to round out what she didn’t know from her own experience. Justin had been a mechanic and had planned on going to law school before he signed up for a part-time caretaker initiation program with his friend and discovered his calling.

It was nice to learn about the other caretakers and their experiences, but your thoughts were mostly occupied with which group you would be assigned to.

After seemingly ages, Kwang-sun came back with five files under his arm. Checking the names, he handed one out to each of you.

Huh. It looked so plain for something that was going to change your life. Just a manila folder with your name in black, bolded ink. You looked around to your fellow caretakers. No one had looked inside their files yet, awaiting instructions to do so. However, Jae and Saira, as the oldest, seemed to be much more composed than Justin and Millie who each had wide eyes mirroring your own.

Back at the front of the room, Kwang-sun had grabbed a clipboard from one of the two others in the room, neither of them had said anything for the entire time so you really didn’t know what they were here for.

Kwang-sun looked up with a smile. “Now, for what I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for. Here are your assignments: Jae you will be working with TWICE.”

A silent nod was all the acknowledgement Jae gave.

“Saira, you will be working with NMIXX.”

In response, she gave a thoughtful “hmm” but nothing more.

“Millie, you will be working with Xdinary Heroes.”

Her jaw dropped slightly but she took a deep breath and nodded like Jae.

“Justin, you will be working with ITZY.”

He let out a sharp exhale that sounded a bit like a laugh.

“And Y/N, you will be working with Stray Kids.”

You felt ice and fire fighting in your veins.

What?

[gayerthanevertbh]

runaway “bride” | i want you pt. 8

natasha romanoff masterlist | series masterlist | navigation

pairings: older!natasha romanoff x young!fem reader

summary: your father doesn’t know it yet, but you’re in love with his best friend. and what makes it better is that you’re sure enough that she feels the same way. the sad part is, neither of you can word out your love for each other properly.

warnings: sensitive topics (abortion), fighting (like tons), heavily detailed angst, scared reader, slight attraction, and more - MINORS DNI.

notes: good luck xx :)

NATASHA'S POV:

I've always found that drinking and smoking go well together. It causes me to lose track of my true emotions. As if I'm in a different dimension where no one knows how I feel or what I want. Moreover, I never imagined I would be so hurt in my life when Y/n acknowledged that she wanted to abort our child. I was completely unable to bear the excruciating pain she inflicted on me. Therefore, a case of beer and a pack of cigarettes were my companions when I returned home while Y/n was away.

"You're drinking again."

Turning over my shoulder, Steve was leaning against the door with his hair ruffled everywhere on his head. I assumed that he went out today to grab a drink with his friends, causing him to look like that. I smiled wearily at him, knowing that I got his daughter pregnant.

"Just having a rough night, I guess."

He simply sighed, took a bottle of beer from the cooler next to the rickety table, and walked over to where I was sitting on the couch. He handed the bottle to me and I gratefully accepted it. I then opened the lid and downed the beer.

As he goes to get a beer for himself, he remarks, "Y/n's been weird lately. She's been distant with me and always out of the house, I don't know how to deal with that."

I looked at him briefly, before turning and gazing at the big painting on the wall instead. "She's probably just being a teenager, Steve."

"Yeah, I know that. But we're close," he claims. "Like really close, she tells me everything. And now it's like we don't know each other anymore. Is it because I'm trying to make Bucky be with her? I just don't want her to live in a–"

"Do you maybe think that she doesn't want her love life to be forced?" I questioned, which almost comes off as patronizing. "What do you mean?" he enquired as his eyebrows furrowed in my direction.

"Maybe she wants true love," I said. "Like, real love. Not the kind of love where you try to pair up with two people that would never even work out. Sure, Bucky's her best friend. But I know that look in Y/n's eyes, and she is not in love with him."

"How are you so sure, anyway?"

I licked my bottom lip and sighed. "Don't know, she's just... different."

After a few minutes of peaceful silence, he finally spoke: "I know my daughter, Natasha. She's not like this."

"I'm not saying that you don't know your daughter, but maybe you should support whatever she wants in life."

He shakes his head at me and says, "All I want is for everyone here to be happy."

"And maybe she won't be happy if she chooses Bucky to be his boyfriend."

"Why are you talking like this with me? It's like you know my daughter all your life. Like you're her mother."

Because I'm in love with your daughter and got her fucking pregnant.

I made a small effort to speak, but nothing came out. I was at a loss for words and had no choice but to merely glare at him in response. He gave me a dubious look, but I could tell there was something shrieking through his bones behind those eyes.

Then, I felt my heart clenching with pure affliction. If I keep staring at him, the guilt will eat me up – and it's beginning to do so. I looked down at my bottle and choked out a sob, which made him scoot closer to me.

"Hey, hey... are you okay?" he asked, placing his hand on my shoulder, which I do not deserve. "What happened? Did she tell you something?"

I am aware that once I tell him about my relationship with his daughter, I will lose our friendship, possibly even more, but I'm not sure if I was mentally prepared for that great loss. Before she came into my life, I swore to Steve that I would never betray him by any possibility. And now, with the information that I will tell him, I know that I've betrayed him a long time ago.

You always can't have both when it comes to love.

"I'm in love with your daughter," I whispered with trembling breath. "I'm so fucking in love with your daughter that I got her pregnant, Steve. I love Y/n so much, and I'm fucking drinking away this shit because she's aborting our baby."

I'd never heard such deafening silence until this happened. He had wide eyes as he stared at me and was holding my shoulder so firmly in his hand. But I didn't give a damn. I turned my head away from him as I wiped my tears with the back of my hind, almost letting snot come out of my nose. I could feel his hard breathing on me, and I was prepared to be punched by him. At the end of the day, I never get what I truly want from my life. I've lost everything, including my first love. And now I'm about to lose this security with his daughter and I don't know how I can function right with that.

"Say that again."

I gasp for air as I look back into his eyes and then take a deep breath. "I'm in love with your d-daughter, Steve."

"No, enlighten me as to what you said following that."

"I got your daughter pregnant," I looked down from my lap and cracked out another sob. "I got your daughter pregnant and I'm so sorry."

He lets go of my shoulder and stands up, walking away from me. He covers his mouth, as if not believing what I just said, and threw his hands in the air angrily. I looked away again.

"You got my fucking daughter pregnant?!" I feared Maisy and Antonio would be startled awake by his screams as they filled the entire house. He screamed at me while pointing his index finger at me, "You got my only daughter pregnant and have the audacity to tell this to me knowing that I won't be happy with this?!"

"W-What else can I do?" I asked as I stood up, facing my true fears. This was, in fact, my true fear. It has been beholding me like a gift, except that it really wasn't. "I couldn't help myself, I fell in love with her the day that we grew close."

"And how was she when you fell in love with her? What, 16? 15?!"

"No, I would not ever do that–"

"You shouldn't say that to me after I've sacrificed everything for you," he shouts and roams around the living room like a crazed man. He cries while pulling his hair back from his head. "I thought you would be a good auntie to my daughter, and I trusted you with her, but you took advantage of her innocence! You are aware of how Y/n spent her childhood growing up with her mother. I had thought you would be that person for her, but you ended up making her pregnant. Have you ever considered how I might feel about this? You were the only one I could trust with her, and that's no longer the case! You are GONE!"

"Steve," my chest hurts from the sobs I've let out, and I could only sit back down with great despair hitting me like a truck, a very big one. "I-I'm sorry, I know it shouldn't have happened but... it did. We fell in love, she loves me. And I love her, I can't help but love her like that."

I had not anticipated watching a father receive the news that his daughter had become pregnant with his best friend, much less falling in love with a woman myself. He was one of the many people I could trust and truly was my best friend. And the more I touched Y/n every minute, the more I realized I was losing that position. But if I could lose one person today, it would be him.

But it's like losing a family in a single motion, and I'm not sure how I'd manage this pain beating out of my chest.

"Natasha," he breathes out my name as he covers both of his eyes with his hands, choking out another sob. All I wanted to do was hug him, tell him that I was deeply sorry, and maybe work things out along the way. But that wouldn't happen, not at this moment. "She needed you as a mother, not her lover."

"She loves me more than that," I mumbled. "We love each other, and I don't want that to stop. I know I-I'm being selfish, but for once in my life–I'm happy. I'm so happy, Steve."

"But you shouldn't be happy with my daughter."

He was right about that.

I sadly smiled and said, "She's the most perfect human being in the world. Who could resist being in love with her? I don't blame Bucky for that even, she's too perfect. She's the one for me, and I'm sorry that I had to tell you this way."

Steve sat down again, this time facing the other way. I imagine he didn't like the idea of sitting next to me, so I did the same. I'm left in the dark after he takes a single piece of paper off the coffee table and scrawls some words on it. As soon as he was finished, he handed it to me, and I silently read the paper.

We can't choose who we love, can we?

This note had a peculiar mixture of contempt and relief. I kept looking at the paper with tears welling up in my eyes because I was unable to decide which emotion to feel. A few tears fell onto the sheet, and I quickly wiped them away with my hand. "What does this mean?" I asked him as I turned to face him. "Why did you write this?"

He leaned back and murmured something under his breath while heaving a trembling sigh.

"Because if I say it out loud, I do not know if I would mean it."

I nodded, a great deal of internal pain causing my throat to bob. Y/n felt more significant to me than my friendship with him, even though I was aware that I was going to lose his trust. I have the option to choose anyone to be my friend – but never love. And she is the object of my deep love; no matter what, it will always be for her. I firmly believe that it must be Y/n because I could never love someone this deeply in any other way.

"I would do anything for her, Steve."

He nodded slowly, accepting this kind of fate brought up to him abruptly. "Yeah," he said in his deep voice. "I know you would."

READER'S POV:

Natasha had not spoken or seen me in days, and I was dying for her to look at me again. But I can't force our fate, especially since she knew I was planning to abort the child inside of me. Those were lonely days for me. Every hour that passed made me wish it was night so I wouldn't have to think about her while trying to fall asleep. I would try to keep a safe distance between us by either being upstairs or at MJ's house when she was around. Though, I could no longer handle this pain – it was getting too much. Speak to me and let me know that you'll fully support my decision so that we can be happy again. Don't go away so fast, we haven't even finished our story yet.

I haven't seen my father either since the day he left for work, so it was just me, Natasha, Maisy, and Antonio in our lonely gardened house. But today felt different since my father came home drunk. I tried talking to him, but he wouldn't even look me in the eye. Perhaps he was that intoxicated, so I left him alone in his bedroom. While walking back to the garden, I see MJ waiting for me outside. I ran towards her and asked, "What are you doing here? It's barely noon."

"I came here because–" she takes a deep breath before finishing her sentence. "Remember Wanda? Yeah, she's available now. She'll help you today."

"But, my father is here and he might be looking for me–"

"We don't have much time," she claims. "She'll be leaving tonight, so it's best if you come with me right now."

I was only hesitant to leave because I wasn't sure if I still wanted to have the baby out of my stomach, but I was afraid to say I did. So I nodded, grabbed my bag, and followed her to a place I didn't know.

When we got to the small house, a tall brunette woman was waiting for us outside. Her face looked dreary, yet she didn't look like a threat. Before I could introduce myself to her, she said: "You look young."

Her voice sounded condescending.

"I uhm..." I stumbled over my words and seemed to be left with no choice but to nod. She licks her lips before inviting me inside her house, which hardly even resembled one. In the corner, there was a bed and a long table covered in medical supplies. She motioned for me to sit, so I did so slowly at the edge of the bed while waiting.

"How old are you?" the woman asked.

"E-Eighteen," I responded quietly, almost as if it was a secret. She looked at me briefly before asking: "When was the last time you had sex?"

"I-I don't know, maybe six weeks ago."

"You did not do anything else after that? Did you take a plan B pill?"

Despite how overwhelming these questions were, I was compelled to answer each one. She also didn't look friendly, which only added to the nausea I already felt.

"N-No," I replied. "I didn't."

She looked at me quite skeptically before grabbing her clipboard and writing down something, since I cannot read it from here. MJ was a few feet away from me with her eyes roaming around the room, then back at me to check how I was holding up.

The woman had her hand on my knee and squeezed, acting kinder this time since I got a sense that she didn't appreciate me much. "Are you sure about this procedure? If you have any thoughts, let me know. But right now, I'll leave you be as you talk this out with your... friend I should say?"

"Yeah," MJ replied for me, nodding her head. "I'm her friend." The woman kindly smiled again before leaving us in the room, making my way towards MJ as I hugged her tight, face buried into her neck.

I have never been so scared in my life.

"Do you still want to do this?" she asked with a very soft tone, almost like a cat. "If you don't want to do this anymore, I can help you raise the baby. I'll always be here for you, you know that."

"I don't know anymore," I whispered into her neck, feeling my tears streaming down my face. "It's like I wanted to get rid of this thing yesterday and now I feel like I have the sense to keep it."

"You also have to think about yourself too, sweetheart." her words were so comforting, and it feels like I don't deserve them whatsoever. But she was openly saying these things to me and all I had to do was to accept it.

"I'm trying, I really am."

After a brief period of hugging, someone entered the room. When I looked at the door, Natasha was there, her brow furrowed by the doorframe. Her expression softened as she turned to look at MJ and then at me.

"Y-Y/n? Can we talk outside, please?"

I pulled away from MJ and whispered, "How did she know this place?" she only shrugs and steps back away from me, making Natasha pull my wrist gently as we go outside of the small house. I stood with a frail body and murmured, "W-What are you doing here?" even though I was still upset with her, I couldn't help but feel my heart beat slower when she was around.

"I just," she takes a deep breath and rubs the back of her neck. "C-Can we please think about this first? You're making a decision without me, that's my baby too."

"I really don't want to fight right now, Nat–"

"If you could just listen to me, maybe you'd change your mind." her hands were in the air in a beseeching gesture, and her voice sounded like she was pleading. Before I made the choice that would change my entire life, I took a moment to look at her and nod. She lets out a huge sigh of relief. "I know things have been rough with us, b-but this baby could probably change our life. It would make our relationship stronger, and we would be different. Good difference. And if you just give us time for each other, then maybe you'd change your mind."

"I don't know if I would want that, Natasha," I muttered, rubbing my elbow to help my anxiety ease. "We've been okay, until you didn't support my decision. What makes you say that our relationship would grow stronger if we keep ourselves hidden in the dark?"

"That's why I want to run away with you, so we could be open to everyone. So that we wouldn't be so scared anymore," Natasha cups both of my hands as she brought them to her dry lips, kissing my skin softly that I'm reminded of her undying love for me. "Just think about it. You and me, in a strange town where no one knows us, and us taking care of our beautiful baby? Once the baby's born, you can go back to college again. We can take care of our child–"

"If that ever happens, I won't be leaving a child behind," I interrupted her, furrowing my brows. What was she even saying? That I would go to college to pursue my dreams yet leave the baby that I never planned for? What kind of a mother would I be to do that? "That baby would need me more than my fucking future–"

"So let's say you don't go, okay? Let's just say you don't," she was getting agitated now as she moved closer to me until both of our foreheads touched. "I can work from home and take care of you and our baby, and be happy together... don't you want that? Be free and happy?"

"But lying to our loved ones? I don't think so, Natasha."

"Wait–"

I removed my hands away from hers before crossing my arms around myself, as if creating a safety net for myself. "And if we do keep the baby, will you be there?"

Natasha nodded happily, her grin getting wider as tears streamed down her face. "Of course," she whispered. "I'll be there every second, baby girl. Just... don't do this. We can run away right now and leave everything behind, don't you want that for the both of us? We can leave everything behind, beautiful."

I first gave it some thought. Sure, giving up everything to raise a child with her sounds like a wonderful experience. In fact, I was so close to wanting it. What harm would there be in that? I would sacrifice everything for the woman I love, but in return, everyone would despise me, even my distant father. Yes, that sounds fantastic. But yet, I couldn't say yes to it.

"Natasha..."

"I'll marry you, and be with you, and do whatever I want with you–"

"Natasha," before she could even kiss me, I placed my hand on her chest. I could feel it beating against my palm, and I almost wanted to kiss her back. But she kept our lip distance, yet they were so close to mind. "Tasha, I can't have that future with you."

She looked distraught. "W-Why?"

"Because I still want to achieve my dreams," I told her while smiling weakly at myself. "I want to finish college, be who I am, and maybe if time can tell, maybe it could bring me back to you. But for now, I don't think this would even work out between us."

"Y-You don't know what you're saying, detka," she sniffled, cupping my face desperately. It almost screams, please don't let me go, not now, not ever. But I push that away once more, trying my best to be brave for myself. "You don't know what you're saying, please don't do this."

"How can I let you love me when you don't even fully support my decision?" I asked with my voice quivering with woe, and she touched me even more. "How can I let that happen?"

For a while, we were silent, trying to savor the last few seconds of our proximity. And if she ever still decides to not support my decision, letting her go was the best choice. I would not be able to look at her if I thought about the words she used to describe me as an immoral, self-centered individual. How can I ever look at her the same way again? She presses our lips together, and I felt elation course through my veins. I was delighted to be kissed by her once more, to be the girl she has always cherished. That's what I always wanted to be.

"Then I will support you," she whispered with her mouth close to mine, aching to be kissed again. She looked down at me with those sorrowful eyes, yet smiled at me. "I-I will support you, Y/n. I just can't lose you yet."

Natasha held my hand throughout the procedure. I was crying with agony while she kissed my forehead, repeatedly telling me that everything was going to be okay. MJ was waiting outside since she was too frightened to see the process. As soon as it was done, Wanda told me to take some pills to help me ease the pain for the next couple of weeks. And before I left her house, Wanda gave my hand a tight squeeze, whispering: "Don't let her control your life."

These words resonated with me as Natasha walked me home. She couldn't possibly control my life, right? She was fully supportive when I told her that my school was a priority, so how can she control my life? While thinking about these thoughts silently, I heard her asking: "Do you want me to bring you to bed later?"

Y/n, everything will be fine. Just a few more seconds until the fetus comes out.

Trauma, pain, agony, or whatever the hell is in there. I hated it.

"Y-Yeah," I replied, pushing those thoughts away far away from my head. "I think I'd like that."

I did not see my father again that day, and I will not see him the following day either, as we will be leaving in a week. So I anticipated that he would meet some friends before we leave. I was in bed with Natasha while she spoke about her previous life in New York, how I influenced everything for her, and how she is now truly content. Something within me felt proud, but the majority of the time I felt terrible. Truly fucking horrible and truly fucking disgusting.

I regret what transpired with that child; I should not have had an abortion. I should've seen it grow, to become a wonderful child. And now it's gone.

whoops

taglist:  @trans-wolf-boi @generousfartdragon @marvelogic @that-one-gay-mosquito @wandanotsosure @madelineleong @kksalexa @karsonromanoff @natashaswife4125 @florojas @natashaxwife  @lovsalvatore @what-is-your-wish @natsxwife

[p4rallel-universe]

awkward phonecall

A/N - this is based off of a scene in the movie Metal Lords, which is a very good movie and should be watched by everyone.

summary: Enid has a crush on the reader, who has psychic/telekinetic powers. after sitting in on one of this light-hearted exchanges with Bianca, Enid sees a chance and takes it.

"you know, you do seem pretty gay to me, Y/N." Bianca is teasing you, as usual.

you could say the two of you have a love-hate relationship. mostly hate. and not really love. maybe...despise-tolerate?

sitting in the courtyard, at a bench and table is you, Bianca (of course) and a few of your classmates. this group includes Enid Sinclair, your bright, bubbly friend, who's been acting kind of different recently. you haven't told anyone, but you have a bit of a crush on her. you're pretty sure she's into Ajax though, which is fine, you're not gonna push.

"i am not!" you reply, faking offense.

"something about your hair, your voice, the way you walk. so...basically everything." she smirks and you roll your eyes.

"you're sounding a bit like Ariel there, miss mermaid." it's the best insult you can think of. if you're honest, your back and forth with Bianca is reminiscent of childhood squabbles.

"just because you've got Jedi powers." she mocks you, putting on a stereotypical nerdy voice.

"haha." you fake laugh at the lame insult, "spare me, i'll die a virgin if i'm known as 'one of the guys with Jedi powers'."

Bianca shoots you a look, an eyebrow raised, "i didn't mean it that way! i'm not, well-" you give up, and end up just sighing in frustration as Bianca laughs at you. you raise the middle finger to her before chuckling over it yourself.

the day continues as usual, and before you know it, it's 8 PM, and you're pretty relaxed in your dorm, when your phone rings. it's Enid. sitting up, you immediately answer,

"hey!" you greet, excited that she phoned you, but curious as to why,

"hey! uh, how was your day?" her sweet, clear voice rings out and you smile,

"it was alright, easy enough classes. except for Bianca's cruelty to me at lunch, of course." you chuckle down the phone,

"Bianca is always saying ridiculous things." Enid replies, a hint of actual malice in her voice.

"oh yeah, which parts ridiculous? the Jedi part, the gay part, or the virgin part?" you joke, but she goes quiet. worried you overstepped a boundary, you prepare to a) apologise (awkwardly) or b) make an excuse and hang up. before you can follow through on either option, she speaks up.

"well, you are, right?" her voice is low, like she's choosing her words carefully,

"gay? i mean, i don't think so. i guess it's a spectrum?" you tell her, confused

Enid huffs softly, "no, i mean, a virgin. a-are you a virgin?" she asks very quickly. as if she never even said it.

taken aback, you answer honestly, "oh! umm- yeah, definitely. 100%." you cringe at your response, smacking your forehead.

there's a pause.

"hello?" you say into the phone, thinking the lines went dead. or worse. she hung up after finding out your terrible secret.

"d-do you want-", she pauses, taking her time, "do you want to...not be?" she holds her breath, waiting for your answer. oh no. oh no. what a stupid thing to ask! she panics. what she doesn't realise is that, in your silence, you're also having your own moment of panic. oh. oh. is this a joke? i should say something. fuck. a million thoughts go through your head.

"uhh, yes? yes, actually. yeah." your mouth has gone dry and every second feels like an hour of waiting.

"can you meet me behind the greenhouse in half an hour?" Enid asks bluntly, her caution from before seemingly vanished.

"see you then." you blurt out, and Enid giggles as she hangs up the phone.

oh, you think to yourself.

oh.

(bit of a short, low effort fic. just bc i enjoyed the concept and wanted to put it down, also felt like writing. more solid fics coming soon 👍)

[butterflydm]

wot rewatch 1x7: the dark along the ways

spoilers for s1 of WoT and through Knife of Dreams in the books; minor spoilers for one of the s2 character blurbs

Aaaaah, my angel Tigraine is here to kick ass and have a baby. This cold open floored when when I first saw it and it still floors me. It's amazing. I'm looking forward to more Maiden action in s2 so much. Not just the fighting here, but the emotion -- how frustrated she is that they won't just let her have her baby in peace, how she finally has a moment to herself and then this new potential threat shows up and we hang in that moment. Fantastic episode opener and it really makes me excited about what we might get in s2 for the cold opens.

So... given that she left Andor to chase a prophecy to save the world and has found herself on Dragonmount about to give birth... Tigraine could probably guess who her kid was going to be at this point, I feel like? She was very well educated, first in Andor and then in the White Tower, so I'm sure she would have known the Prophecies (maybe she even figured out when she learned that the female warrior society of the Aiel was called the Maidens of the Spear?)

The Emond's Field people want to get Mat but Moiraine must refuse because he's literally in recasting limbo right now. I love how Rand just instantly lost all trust in Moiraine the second she refuses to open the Waygate. She won him to her side by helping Mat, then immediately lost him once she stopped. Rand (and Nynaeve) are so protective & defensive over Mat in this episode and I really love it.

Of course, Rand is now probably also about, like 75% sure that he's actually the Dragon and so there's no need to worry about Mat anyway. But Moiraine is absolutely not sure who the Dragon is and it very well could be Mat (imo if she wasn't worried that Mat was a potential channeler, it would be pointless to send the Red Ajah after him).

Rand's little despairing looks back at the closed Waygate and his instant defense of Mat against anyone who says a word against him (even Egwene): catnip to a newly-minted Cauthor shipper.

Yeah, Mat is 100% Moiraine's least favorite child -- she 'knows' what choice he would make, she says (the wrong one). So, there are actually two different ways that the show could go with Mat -- Moiraine could be either right or wrong that Mat would make the wrong/evil choice and it depends on how they've decided to handle the Seanchan. Because if they follow the same storyline that the books did, Mat does essentially choose to embrace evil along that path (even if Jordan never admits it) when he decides that he's okay being married to an unremorseful and unwilling-to-change slaver. If Tuon stays the same way that she is in the books, then Moiraine was right about Mat. If Mat and Tuon's storyline gets changed/updated to be less... awful, then Moiraine will have been wrong about Mat.

Lan tries to tease Nynaeve to cheer her up but fails, so he tries to reassure her instead, telling her that Mat is safer where they left him. It's a sweet little moment.

Both Egwene and Rand are more open in this moment than they were in episode 2 and are able to share a snuggle as they sleep (but Egwene also checks in with Rand first this time and waits for him to essentially nonverbally give her a 'yes' before snuggling in). Rand is also a lot less raw about the breakup and they're hovering in a weird 'maybe we're not broken up after all' space.

People's worst fears clawing at them is a lot more informative kind of existential terror than just gore-whispers.

Honestly, given how on-edge everyone is put by the Black Wind, it would more surprising if it didn't lead to tensions and arguments. That was a rough experience for them all.

Lots of Lan backstory in this episode! His title, people from his past, etc.

Poor Moiraine looks so exhausted. Pretty much now until the end of the season. This is also when Moiraine has the message sent to the Red Ajah about Mat, which Lan is not around to hear, I note.

Perrin engages in some Fainspotting!

Oh, I notice that when Min serves drinks to the ta'veren, she keeps her eyes down. To avoid seeing all the viewings maybe? And I'm pleased to say that show!Min remains likable on rewatch, despite my bad experience with book!Min in my reread! She actually is a world-weary and well-traveled woman who has been through Too Much and is Tired instead of feeling like a tweenager cosplaying as one. And Moiraine literally has to blackmail her into sharing her viewings about the EF5.

And reading the new s2 summary about Min also tells us why Moiraine threatening her with exposure is enough to make her crack -- she was forced to be a carnival act! Yikes, Min's aunts!

Also that does look like the same baby from Rand's vision in the next episode, at least to me, so I think that's what she was seeing.

The EF5 all confronting Moiraine. I do wonder if it was the whispers of the Ways that made her decide to open up to them about how the non-Dragons will die when the Dragon faces the Dark One. And though the group does fracture into an argument after this discussion, they do present a united front against Moiraine here.

This argument also does a good job in laying down Egwene's philosophy and her reasons for wanting to do this. And we get another passionate defense of Mat from Rand.

It's fascinating how quickly Nynaeve jumps the conclusion that Rand and Perrin are 'fighting over' Egwene (something that both Rand and Egwene find initially baffling). I wonder how long Nynaeve has been expecting this to come up as an issue between them, that she goes there so quickly. Back in ep1, she sends Perrin away from Egwene's celebration to spend time with his wife and then in this episode, she notices Perrin noticing Egwene and Rand snuggling together. She is on "Perrin->Egwene HIGH ALERT" at all times and it's just kinda fascinating. If she'd just let them argue, I sincerely doubt that Perrin would ever have let anything slip.

Perrin's staring at Rand's mouth while saying "only woman I ever loved was my wife" moment. With a single shot, Perrin comes across as infinitely less heterosexual than his book counterpart.

We get some more good Lan content in his scenes with Moiraine and then Nynaeve. It's nice to get to see a piece of Lan's culture and for him to share it with Nynaeve. All the scenes that he has with both of them in this episode are really good. Lan comparing his devotion to Moiraine to Nynaeve's protectiveness over the Two Rivers' kids; I like it.

And this scene with Egwene and Rand is his last stab at denial. He wants to pretend that he can still be Egwene's husband/Warder. But if he doesn't give up on his denial, he might be condemning Egwene, Perrin, & Nynaeve to a painful death. What Egwene says here (that she will stand by Rand if he's the Dragon) is also related to why he goes off on his own and pretends to be dead imo -- he knows his friends wouldn't abandon him and so he has to abandon them for their safety.

And we reach the point where everything is at a crisis point and Rand can't keep denying every strange thing that's been building up since the night the Trollocs attacked.

This scene with Rand and Min is very good. Again, show!Min is doing a lot better than book!Min. Also, Min, I'm holding you to that "three beautiful women" viewing.

Aah, the kindness of how the show did Rand's birth really gets to me. The story is so much... colder in the books. That show!Tigraine gets to have a last moment of connection before she dies, and gets some assurance that her kid will be taken care of. It was an incredibly compassionate change to make.

lol, the poor awkwardness of the three Emond's Fielders (before they realize that Rand has disappeared with Moiraine).

Moiraine's thoughts, probably: "shit, it's one of the boys. Well... at least it's not Mat".

[mmediocreman]

About Y'shtola (up to 6.2 spoilers) (i guess this is a rant lol)

(no of days) since we talked about y'shtola has become a meme in my group chat of friends (that we mostly talk abt ffxiv)

in conclusion to the myriad of discussions we had, we came to a conclusion that Y'shtola is a missed opportunity, a lot of missed opportunity. When she turned blind it was said that to see she consumes more aether than usual, dying at a faster rate, but her eyes now are just another super power, remember how they were still trying to understand dynamis and aether? she had the upperhand at that. and she had put herself in danger, in death's way twice, after the shb self-sacrifice-false-death-thanks-to-emet, the endwalker bit where one by one the scion dissipate stops feeling dire when it happens to her and she said something along the lines of they'll return or something. by the end of endwalker everyone had arcs, everyone had character moments that gave them growth, everyone except yshtola, ok maybe the story line with runar but thats abt it. thats why, the talk before the big night, when we get to choose who is at our door, yshtola's scene was the weakest to me.

to me, she just feels like someone you work with, unlike the others who i feel has a more personal connection or fleshed out personality. she's dependable but a bit flat, like i said previously, missed opportunity on giving her actual consequences for her actions to give her arc/growth. but then my mind changed a bit after a scene in 6.2

varshan made a deal with zero to give her his aether as payment and was supposed to do so after fighting barbariccia, but before he could do so she collapsed. they took her to her room, she isnt waking up, i think varshan mentioned how maybe he should give the aether now, but they all decided its best to bring her to the source bc theres ambient aether. they arrived at the source and varshan mentioned again abt giving his aether - which was part of the deal - and y'shtola said, no need, just give her food when she wakes up... mind you this deal was between varshan and zero, and even zero made a comment about "thats not what we agreed upon on" but later adds "oh well, aether is aether" as she eats from the apples provided. this seems something small, insignificant even, but if i made a deal with someone and they changed what they should be providing after i delivered my end of it i would be pissed. they want zero to heal trough the ambient aether and food form source? sure, but varshan and zero still made that deal, i would assume the void is a place where the contracts they made matter, and well in my exp the exact words chosen in contracts matters, a lot. this bit made me think of yshtola from, a somewhat OP character that had missed moments of character growth to, she's kinda a mary sue isnt she. i know im overthinking this, but its like she could never be wrong and even if its someone else's deal she gets to say the right thing to do :/

i know im overhtinking this but that bit on top of everything is just different

i dont hate her but im mildly starting to see her as annoying bc of this

[sincerely-sofie]

One thing I will say is that saying you "disagree with the term queer" Is Not A Great Look, but that could easily be a me not getting the wording as intended thing - The above assumes you mean just, queer in general though it feels more like you might've meant in reference to yourself? (Which is entirely fine - I'm of the opinion that any given label should be opt-in to anyone who's genuine about it rather than mandatory.)

Really, the main important thing I appreciate is being able to accept others where they're at. Being able to just say "Yeah, sure, ok" and go along even if I don't personally understand is honestly one of my core beliefs* too, and with minimal disrespect it's nice seeing this from a Christian. The little I actually know suggests something worth looking into, and the notion of an eternal soul is something I find fairly agreeable (if not strictly the outcomes of that.) Then again, I'm someone whose personal experience with religion can be described as a tangled web of jokes that ran too long and accidentally became character traits, so, maybe not the best judge of anything here. Also, wow, this post got away from me quickly. Originally meant to just put in the first paragraph and call it good.

*I draw a hard line the second that personal belief starts meaning harm to others. Believe what you want about yourself, but anyone saying someone else needs to change their ways (bar the very beliefs this targets, primarily meaning bigotry/racists) because of a thing YOU feel a certain way about simply can't be tolerated.

Thanks for the critique! Looking back, I definitely should have written “disagree with the term queer FOR myself” (which was actually the original wording I drafted) rather than “disagree with the term queer myself”. I was trying to cut down on my wordiness as I edited my response, but I ended up just making it a confusing sentence to read. Curse my proofreading anxiety. 

I'll try not to get into it too much here because it'd probably derail this entire response to your ask, but I've got a lot of mixed feelings with most labels, especially ones that were formerly derogatory terms. My church has worked hard to pivot from being called “Mormons” because among other (honestly more important) reasons, the term was basically used as a snide and condescending way to refer to my church, and it quickly became the default phrase for addressing us. The fact that members of my faith were basically referring to themselves with an insult as I grew up in the church never really sat well with me, even if we took pride in it. I'm super impressed by those who can take once-painful words and make them into badges of honor, but for me personally, it's a real emotional minefield. Hence, in part, why I don't agree with using the term queer for myself. It's a matter of preference and personal implications.

Agh, I really rambled on for a while there. I hope that made sense.  

For your second paragraph— it's sad to me that so many people have had such disheartening experiences with Christians. I swear, most of us are loving people. There's just an unfortunate amount of very vocal bible-bashers who forget that God's greatest instructions to us were to love Him and love others. 

If you're interested, there's a lot of resources on my church’s website if you'd like to learn more about what we believe (though there's no pressure from me to read up on it!) I just felt like I should share because we don't believe in a Hell where people burn for all eternity. 

We believe in three different “kingdoms” that everyone will be sorted into, with interaction between them being possible so families and friends can visit each other if they end up divided. The least glorious kingdom (for lack of a better term) is still an absolutely amazing place, full of light and happiness. There is a sort of Hell called Outer Darkness that I guess anyone reading about could see it as a form of eternal punishment, but people choose to go there themselves— it's a form of willing separation from God that happens when people who have an absolutely perfect knowledge of the gospel still choose to go the opposite direction. It's not somewhere you go because you drank coffee or swore in life. That'd be ridiculous.

… I opened my mouth and a missionary came out. Oops. 

Anyhoo, that last paragraph is a big deal, Anon! People need to be able to choose for themselves what they'll do in their lives— any forced change is not change at all, and the second you do harm to another person that isn't in the defense of yourself or others, you're in the wrong. As you can probably tell from my tangent above, I'm an advocate for missionary work, which could be seen as telling people they need to change their ways, but the type of missionary work I stand behind is the kind that invites people to learn more— never forces— and respects when they say no. Always honor agency is my motto. Invite, don't incite. That sort of thing. 

Thanks again for the critique! I appreciate your willingness to send it in and share your thoughts. I'll add a link to this ask in my original post so that if anyone else is confused by my wording, they'll be able to see this and get some better information. 

[starsofmilos]

Bikini’s Suck Anyways (Eddie Munson x reader)

Request: One where you and Eddie go to the swimming pool together and you find yourself feeling insecure. Eddie notices and decides to show you just how much he loves your curves. Make it smutty and sweet.

AHH I LOVE THIS!

Masterlist

Warnings: insecurities, reader doubts themselves, smut, p in v, oral (fem receiving), body worship, small amount of angst, fluff

Summer.

The season of swimming and cool clothing. The time to relax and enjoy the cool refreshing water that is your best friend Steve’s swimming pool.

Look it’s not that you disliked swimming, you actually really enjoyed it and would usually go to your cousins over the summer so you could swim alone. 

You’d even go to the lake, but your best friend decided this was the year he wanted to throw a pool party. Which usually was so easy to skip. 

You always found a good excuse not to go. This year though was different. You started dating one Eddie Munson earlier this year. You loved him. 

You hadn’t quite said it to him yet, but everyone could see just how obsessed you were with him. He was just as obsessed with you so it worked out. 

Thing you weren’t particularly obsessed with was the way you looked. Your body wasn’t something you were always proud of. 

It made you cringe anytime you had to look into the mirror. Eddie always reassured you that he loved your body and you had been working on your self confidence, but it was hard.

Especially because there was absolutely no way to escape Steve’s party. Eddie had been the one who said he kinda wanted to go. Steve promised it would just be the gang and the kids.

You had no excuse to not say no and you wanted your boyfriend to be happy not knowing his ulterior was to just to see you in a bathing suit. 

Eddie never wanted to pressure you or make you uncomfortable but anytime you slept over and decided to wear shorts to sleep he struggled not to just grind into you. 

This led you to your current predicament.

“Come on I’m sure you look great!” Robin called out while sitting with Nancy. You had asked them to come with you swimsuit shopping not wanting to bring Eddie.

You walked out wearing a simple high waisted bikini grumbling a bit. Nancy smiled happily, “You look great.”

“You look hot.” Robin’s eyes widened at her words as Nancy chuckled. You grinned a bit feeling a bit better while looking in the mirror.

“You sure it doesn’t look weird?”

“No. You look great scouts honor.” You smiled deciding to choose this simple black high waisted bikini. 

Going home, you sighed laying in bed jumping as the door to your trailer opened. Eddie shot you a grin as he moved to you dropping on the bed for you.

“Hello my love.” You smiled as he turned to you giving you a quick kiss. “I told you about locking your door.”

“I forgot, but I’m really happy you came in.” He hummed jabbing your ribs.

“Lucky you’re cute, but the next time you leave that door unlocked i will punish you.”

“Oh no whatever will I do.” Eddie chuckled as you sarcastically yelled out.

“How was your day? I know you went shopping which I still don’t understand why I couldn’t go-”

“My day was good and I told you I needed a girls opinion.” You cut Eddie off swatting him playfully

“So what did you buy?” 

“Clothes.” He raised an eyebrow at you questioningly.

“What kind?”

“Pool clothing.” He smirked growing a bit excited.

“Bathing suit?”

“Maybe. Guess you’ll know tomorrow at the party.” You smiled as he groaned hiding his face in your neck.

“Deal.” He kissed your cheek before pulling you close to him. “I can’t fucking wait.”

Neither could you. You were genuinely excited until you got there and the realization that you were wearing a bathing suit in front of everyone hit you. 

It’s not like you wanted to be insecure. You really had been trying but as you stared at yourself in the mirror inside of Steve’s bathroom. You were dreading walking out there.

Everything that you thought you were comfortable with suddenly seemed much worse than the day prior. Your arms looked to big to you and you grimaced seeing your thighs squished together.

Not to mention your stomach. Eddie was patiently waiting though. Everyone was, but you knew if you walked out there you’d break down and that was the last thing you wanted.

“Y/N you okay in there?” Eddie knocked on the door a bit worried.

“Uh yeah I just need a minute.” You winced as your voice cracked hoping Eddie didn’t notice.

He did.

“You sure?”

“Yeah I’m okay Eddie.” As much as it pained you, you grabbed your t-shirt throwing it over yourself feeling somewhat better knowing your legs would be the only thing showing.

Eddie was about to knock on the door again when you opened it beating him to it. “Said I just needed a mins Ed’s.” 

He smiled before looking in confusion at your shirt. “No bathing suit?”

“Uh I planned on wearing a shirt over it anyways.” He hummed not believing a word from your mouth.

“Really isn’t that the shirt you planned on changing back into after we swim?”

“Oh I brought another.” You lied slightly panicking. This was the only shirt you brought. Eddie knew this as well. He watched you pack up.

“Y/N is there something you’re not telling me?” You chuckled a bit kissing his cheek.

“No of course not. C’mon I’m pretty sure Dustin is waiting for you and I planned on catching up with Robin-”

He grabbed your hand pulling you back effectively cutting you off. “Uh Eddie?..”

“Are you sure that’s not the only shirt you brought?” You nodded with a nervous smile.

“So if I check your bag I’ll see another shirt?” He teasing smiled as you grew flustered trying to think of what to say.

“Please can I borrow yours later?..” Eddie sighed pulling you to him. 

“What’s going on?” You grumbled a bit hiding your face in his chest.

“I don’t look as good as I thought okay? I’m too embarrassed to go out there and show how weird and gross look..”

“Y/N I’m pretty sure you don’t look gross.”

“Yes I do. I’m huge! Everything shows and I should’ve just got something simple not a stupid bikini! It was dumb of me to think I can pull one off!” Eddie frowned a bit at your words.

“I think you’re being too hard on yourself. You are one of the most beautiful things in this fucking world. You’re not dumb and I’m sure you look fucking amazing.”

“You say that Eddie, but I think you’d be grossed out if you had to see what I just saw.” Eddie chuckled a bit pulling you into the restroom locking the door behind him.

“Show me.”

“No-”

“Y/N show me.” You sighed raising your hands to slowly take your shirt off. Eddie’s breath hitched as you used your arms to cover your stomach nervously waiting for him to say something.

“Fuck..” He shakily released a breath seeing your body. It was taking everything in him not to just throw you on the counter. “Uh..you look..”

You grew a bit teary eyed seeing Eddie staring down at you, “Told you it looks weird-”

He pulled you into a deep kiss silencing you, “You look fucking amazing. Holy fucking shit I don’t think I’ve ever been this fucking hard in my life.” 

You stared in slight shock at his words, “Fuck baby..I can’t let you wear this shit in front of Harrington. I’ve seen the way he looks at you and this will make him combust.”

“Steve doesn’t think of me that way-”

“No he does. I know he does. How can you think you look fucking gross? Fuck me Y/N I just wanna bend you over the counter right now..”

He kissed you again moving his lips sloppily against yours eagerly. Once he pulled away he shot you a grin as he moved his hand to your arms that covered your stomach off so he could twirl you around.

“I still don’t think I can pull this off Eddie..”

“Bikini suck anyways. I much prefer you with nothing on, but I can’t have my girl thinking she can’t pull this off when I know for a fact that no other person can look this fucking good.” 

He kissed your neck scraping his teeth against your pulse point before sucking a mark. You squirmed in his hold moaning a bit. Eddie pulled back smirking as he groped your chest.

“Such a pretty girl. You see yourself in the mirror..how can you say you don’t look good? You’re dripping in fucking sin. I’m so lucky that all of this is mine. All fucking mine.”

“Eddie..” You shakily released a breath feeling him grind into your ass. He was rock hard. Eddie groaned turning you around grabbing your thighs to lift you on the counter.

“Fuck me..I’m so in love with you. All of you Y/N..You’re a fucking knockout. Can I show you that? Please?” He kissed your jaw smiling as you eagerly nodded pulling him into a kiss away from your neck.

“Yes..wait! Is this okay here? This is Steve’s bathroom everyone is outside..”

“So just be quiet pretty girl..if you really don’t want too we won’t, but I am not letting you put that fucking shirt back on.”

You moaned at his words thrusting against him, “Okay..I’ll be quiet.” 

Eddie grinned, “I know and you know that’s near impossible for you.”

“I’ll try promise please touch me Eddie.” He nodded untying the top of your bikini.

“Never said I still wouldn’t. I don’t care if you’re loud. It’ll show fucking Harrington you’re mine.”

You laughed a bit before cursing when Eddie moved your nipple in his mouth. His hand pinching your other nipple groaning against you. 

“So fucking pretty,” You shakily released a moan as he alternated to suck the other.

“Eddie..please more..” He nodded kissing your chest moving his hand down to the front of your bikini bottoms. Eddie chuckled hearing you whine thrusting your hips against his hand.

“You want more baby?” You nodded trying to remove your bottoms. Eddie smiled grabbing the side of them jumping a bit as you grabbed his hand.

“I know what you’re thinking. Eddie I just bought this yesterday and we’re trying to make this quick you cannot rip this off.” He smiled hearing you.

“Aww c’mon it’s quicker that way-”

“But more messy!” You jumped a bit sliding it over your hips letting it pool down your legs for it to fall to the floor. Eddie grunted seeing you fully exposed sitting on the counter.

“Fuck me.” He moved to his knees spreading you apart kissing your thighs groaning as you tugged his hair making him look at you. 

“No marks on my thighs-” He cut you off moving back to bite you smirking as you moaned.

“You like when I bite you now let me eat this needy pussy.” Pouting as Eddie sucked marks on your thighs, you tensed up feeling his fingers trail up to hover your clit.

He pulled away from your thighs pushing down his hand to circle your clit. “So pretty..how can you possibly think your body is gross looking?..”

Eddie chuckled seeing you thrust wanting more. “Please Eddie! I’m sorry I said that just please stop teasing and touch me..”

How could he deny a request like that?

“Good you should be sorry saying that I’d find you gross too. I could never and will never find you gross or weird looking. You’re fucking gorgeous..” He took a deep breath seeing you clench around nothing. 

“Can’t keep teasing this pretty pussy. I need a taste.” Eddie pushed his head into your cunt immediately latching onto your clit groaning as you grabbed his hair. 

“More! Oh fuck!” He ate you like a man starved. Sloppily dragging his tongue down to your hole circling it before pushing it in. Eddie grabbed your thighs keeping you spread open and still.

“Fuck! Fuck! Eddie! Eddie!” He smirked pulling away for a second.

“Didn’t you promise to keep quiet.”

“I did but it feels so good...” You whimpered feeling Eddie tentatively lick your opening moving up your clit every so often.

“Taste like fucking candy.” He pushed two of his fingers looking in awe as you thrusted against his hand.

“Look at you fucking yourself on my fingers.” You cried out as he stood up kissing you. “As much as I wanna finish eating you up we’re on short time.”

He pushed his swim trunks down growing a bit flustered himself as you leaned forward placing chaste kisses on his chest hovering over his tattoo.

“You’re so pretty Eddie..” He chuckled grabbing your chin to stare at you.

“You’re cute.” He ran his tip along your folds tapping your clit a couple times before pushing in. You moaned gripping his shoulders hiding your face in his neck hoping to muffle your sounds.

Eddie moaned loudly as you wrapped your leg around him pushing him deeper inside of you. His balls slapped against your ass thrusting into you.

“Fuck.” He cursed feeling you tighten around him. “Fuck fuck sweetheart you’re tightening around me. This pussy needed my cock huh?”

Drool spilled from your mouth as he sped up gripping your hips tightly. Eddie grunted pulling your head out of his neck. You whimpered kissing him hoping to silence yourself. 

“You feel so good. You feel so good. I fucking love you. I don’t know how you can possibly think you’re not perfect. You are so fucking perfect..”

You moaned as he kissed your neck whining when he pulled out. He helped you off the bathroom counter turning you around to face the mirror. 

“Anytime you feel like you’re not perfect when you look in the mirror I want you to remember this. I want you to remember me destroying this tight pussy. My tight pussy. Only I can touch my pretty girl like this.”

You panted gripping the counter top struggling to keep your legs steady watching Eddie in the mirror. “Eddie!”

“I know baby. I know baby. I got you. I won’t let you fall cum for me.” He whispered in your ear crying out himself feeling you basically suck him in. 

“Fuck fuck!” He smacked his hips hard against you the sounds resonating through the restroom. By this point you didn’t care who heard you. You just didn’t want Eddie to stop.

“Eddie! I love you! I-I-” You whined out tears falling from your eyes as you looked to him in the mirror. He was a sight.

Hair matted to his forehead neck and face strained and flushed. He was also still rock hard. Eddie grunted slamming in one more time before cumming inside of you.

“Eddie!” You cried out cumming once more as he poured his load deep in you. He continued moving slowing down to help you come down. “Fuck..”

You hummed a bit leaning down on the counter as Eddie grabbed his shirt he had taken off wetting it to clean you off. 

He grabbed your bikini top helping you put it back on tying it for you. You smiled as he he pulled your bottoms out.

“What about your shirt?”

“I actually brought two thinking you’d need one. You don’t though cause there is no way you’re covering up.” He pulled you to him by your waist kissing you deeply.

“Fucking perfect okay Y/N.”

“Okay Eddie.” You felt a bit better going out there knowing your friends wouldn’t judge you and Eddie just couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of you.

You still had some stuff to work on obviously just Eddie wouldn’t be enough to make your insecurities poof away, but he did help make them better.

He made you feel special. Besides when you walked out your friends weren’t judging you for your body.

“Holy shit! Were you attacked by a piranha?!” Dustin called out gaining everyone’s attention. Your eyes widened as you grabbed your throat before looking down seeing dark marks on your thighs.

Eddie smirked a bit wrapping his arm around you. “Don’t worry about Dustin! She’s fine aren’t ya?”

“Yeah I’m okay!”

“You sure that looks painful?!” Steve chuckled a bit as you nodded jumping in the pool hoping to avoid more stares. 

Robin swam to you giving you a small smile. “Told you he’d like it.”

You smiled nodded, “Yeah he did like it.”

“Maybe a bit too much.” Steve moved to you both shooting you a small smirk. You laughed glancing to see Eddie dunking Mikes head in the water.

“I’m glad he did like it.” Steve nodded shooting you a wink. 

“I can’t say I blame him-” Eddie swam up cutting off Steve dunking his head in the water.

Steve popped up complaining as Eddie grinned pulling you to him. “Mine.”

He moved close to whisper in your ear, “I’m gonna have to show you my appreciation again in the van.”

You grew flustered squirming in his hold as he cradled you close. 

“Let me go Eddie!”

“Can’t help it when you look this good.”

“I look like a mess.”

“You’re all marked up by me and wearing this. You are far from a mess.” 

“Eddie..” He smiled loosening his hold so you could go if you really wanted too. You didn’t.

“I mean it okay. You look perfect.” He kissed your forehead not ashamed to show his affection for you in front of everyone.

How did you manage to get a guy like him?

[authorhjk1]

Just wanted to drop some of my personal thoughts on probably why the 3 fics worked so well or even just for fics in general to gain more attention

First of all i think what's really important would be the idols/pairings, like it or not, some idols are obviously much more "preferable" or even "readable" compared to others, so choosing the right idol while might not a guarantee for success, it can definetly help people to be interested in reading the fic at all in the first place based entirely on who are the idols involved. Of course this will create a new problem where a certain idols would just be written for too often and from there it will come down entirely on how each writer play out the story...

Which lead to the second point which is how you describe the characters if it matches the somewhat general idea of what people think an idol attitude would be, whether calm, naughty, bratty, subby, dom etc., and sometimes even down to what particular part of the idol can become the highlight, say if it's a busty idol then some additional focus towards her breasts will always be nice, or if the idol have nice lower body, playing more around the thighs/ass or even foot will also be plus especially for certain readers but in general highlighting their particular body could really add a plus in how you describe the idols and how the scenes are going between them.

Last but obviously just as, if not the most important would be the overall plot and flow, how you build things up, playing with the pacing in between the scenes and finally creating either an amazing climax or even if you want maybe give it some twist just for the sake of it, either way a good buildup and pacing can really help people to stay interested in the overall plot and on top of that, attention to detail, how you describe some stuff or scene in a much more detailed way can also make the whole experience become more fun to read.

On top of that, what i realized also is that some writers usually excels in particular length of story. Some are really good in short fics 1k-2k words ish fics, some excels in medium ones ranged from 3k-6k ish, some even better when it comes to a really long stories be 10k+ to 20k+ ish, so it might also help if you as a writer can find where is your strength, because at the end of the day, lenghty fics may not always equals a quality fic and a short sprinter does not always mean it is lack in quality too.

Anyways i must say this is all entirely based on my personal preferences on how i see things and how a certain fic can be much more interesting than others, but of course everyone have their own taste in story, pacing, fav idols, etc., so i guess take it with a pinch of doubt if that's the right expression

To close it all, just wanted to say again, thank you for working hard on your fics, and can't wait to see what you got in store in the future.

Stay healthy and take care

Thank you for such an explicit answer!

I would say that I agree with you pretty much on everything.

There are specific idols that are presented more often than others, which would mean one could write more of those. Wonyoung for example. Although I do have to say that it does kinda become a little repetitive. Because, just like you mentioned, the idol's personality plays a big role as well. I have read so many Wonyoung stories in the last months, and while all have different settings and plots, all do seem somewhat similar. Which is just rooted in Wonyoung's personality. The pretty, confident princess vibe.

I do like diversity though, when it comes to whom I'm reading about. That's why I'm also writing about so many different idols. I originally started writing, because I wasn't always able to find what I wanted to read. Take Dreamcatcher or Fromis_9 for example. Sure, there are a lot of fics about them too, but compared to Twice or Blackpink it's just a handful.

Although I've also realized that, although someone is highly appreciated, there isn't much to read about them. IU comes to mind. I was so surprised when so many readers liked it. Mainly because there wasn't much IU out there. So I would say it does depend a lot on the idol, at least when you talk about single fics.

With stories though, I think the "success" is more linked to the writer and the plot. How many people like what's going on? What kinks? And also how long is it? I honestly have a hard time to read a 30k words fic, but that's just me.

Adding to that, the writer's style is just as important. From what I have noticed, correct me if I'm wrong, is that I myself tend to describe actions and the scenes more than feelings. Just because I think, once you know exactly what's going on, you know what the person, or you, would feel in this situation. I've read differently oriented fics too, but I sometimes feel like the feelings disrupt the flow a little. And feelings are personal too, so readers sometimes have a hard time to emphasize.

I will stop for now though, because I think I've rambled on long enough. Thank you very much for this detailed explanation.

The next stuff I've planned is probably gonna be a little more experimental. For any IU fans: the next interlude is reserved for you after many requests for the stay in Italy.

The small series I have in mind is a request, and a great idea, from someone on Wattpad. It's quite kinky, but I hope you guys will enjoy it.

Stay healthy!

[floralcyanide]

The Extra || Austin Butler x OC

Chapter Four

Pairing: Austin Butler x OC

Warnings: language, mention and description of alcohol, description of drinking, being drunk, passing out, austin being an asshole, hinting at innuendo

Word Count: 3011

>> yay for chapter four! we're about to hit a major plot point so buckle up buttercups. I know aus is being an absolute ass in the beginning of this, but we love to see character development, right? anyway, please enjoy this chapter! <3

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I've decided to start writing again for the first time in a year. After what happened yesterday between Austin and me, I needed to get out some pent-up emotion about the entire situation. From before the breakup to during and after the breakup until today, there have been many different feelings towards Austin and our relationship. I don't hate him- I never did. But there's still anger and resentment towards him, and even hostility because I feel he's solely responsible for our seperation. However, there's also a deep sadness for what could've been and how easily things just ended. Our relationship went out like a quiet flame. There's a touch of relief, though, because I can be who I want and not worry about someone breathing down my neck and shoving possible roles in my face at any given time. But Austin did apologize, and deep down, I think he didn't truly mean his words. He was just upset and emotional, which sometimes makes us do and say stupid things. For example, me acting like I had no idea who Austin was upon seeing him for the first time in a year. I regret it now, just as Austin regrets what he said, but it has provided an opportunity for us to at least be friends again. And what's a better way to start over than not knowing who someone is?

I'm deep in thought with my fingers flying across the keyboard. I almost miss the buzzing of my phone next to me.

Get together at my place at 6. You in?

It's a text from Austin. I find it odd that he thought to invite me to a gathering, but he agreed to try to be friends again. As much as I want to not go, I find myself getting a little giddy to see my new friends again, and maybe Austin as well. 

Sure. Do I need to bring anything?

Nope. Everything is covered. Here's the address.

I lean back in my desk chair, letting out a deep breath. I guess I'll finish up what I'm writing and get ready. I have about two hours to do so. I planned on staying holed up in my apartment writing until I physically couldn't anymore. It's rare to get a craving to write like this, but it's also rare for everyone in the cast I'm friends with to hang out all at once. Everyone has been so busy lately. I reluctantly close my laptop and push myself up from the chair, trudging over to the closet. I decide it's best to wear something casual and comfortable, but nice too. It's pretty warm here in Australia, so I choose a cute sundress I have tucked away. It comes to my mid-thigh, so it shows enough but not too much. I'm not trying to impress anyone, but maybe make someone realize what they've been missing. I grab some simple sandals to go with the dress. I set my clothes aside and quickly shower, braiding my hair down my shoulder when I get out. I apply a little makeup and then get dressed. When I finish getting ready, I realize it's about time to leave. Grabbing my phone and a small bag, I head out the door and walk to Austin's condo, which is just a few blocks away by the beach.

When I arrive, Olivia and Luke are seated at the kitchen island while Dacre is fumbling with the record player in the corner of the living room. Tom has yet to arrive, but no one expects him to since he's so busy. 

"Roman!" Olivia smiles and gets up from her seat to greet me when she notices my appearance, "I'm glad you made it!"

She envelops me into a hug which I accept, hugging her back. Luke nods at me from his seat, his hand encircling a glass of what I suspect is whiskey. No doubt it came from a bottle of Austin's. He is currently making a glass of something at the counter, which I'm curious about. I let go of Olivia, and she makes her way back to her seat as I walk over to where Austin is standing in the kitchen.

"What are you concocting over here?" I ask, eyeballing the numerous bottles on the counter.

"Take a wild guess," Austin glances at me over his shoulder, mixing the liquor together.

He hands the glass to me, and I take a whiff of it. To my surprise, it's my drink of choice; a Long Island Iced Tea. When I'm not drinking vodka, that's my go-to.

"You remembered," I raise my eyebrows, taking a sip. Austin had a talent for mixing everything perfectly every time. 

"Of course I did," he whispers, winking at me before turning around to help Dacre find a vinyl to play.

"How many of these do you own?" Dacre asks exasperatedly from the living room.

I lean against the island, tasting my drink as Austin and Dacre banter back and forth. 

"I thought you were more of a vodka girl," Luke jokes, motioning to my drink. He must've recalled me drinking vodka at the bar the first time we met.

"Depends on how I'm feeling. But I prefer a little bit of everything," I say.

Luke hums in acknowledgment, "I like the dark stuff. Austin has good taste," he says, inspecting the glass in his hand.

"I have to agree," Dacre says as he approaches the three of us, his eyes meeting mine.

The two men must've decided on an Elvis vinyl because I can hear him softly singing in the living room.

"Did he make you a drink too?" I ask with a chuckle.

"No, not yet. I meant Austin had great taste in everything, really. Including music and women," Dacre says casually.

I looked at him, puzzled, before collecting myself before someone saw my face.

"He was telling me about someone he dated previously," Dacre leans on the opposite side of the counter, mirroring my position.

"Ooh, who was the lucky lady, Austin?" Olivia wiggles her eyebrows.

"Ah, no one," Austin shrugs, "It's been over for a while. But I'd agree with Dacre and say my taste is pretty good, though," he smirks, glancing over at me briefly.

I down the rest of my drink in one go, much to everyone's surprise.

"That was a really good drink, Austin. Make me another one please?" I say, my eyes boring into his.

"Sure thing, sweetheart," Austin says, taking the glass from my hand and walking to the counter.

Dacre holds in a laugh while Luke silently takes a sip of his drink, almost as if he picked up on something he probably shouldn't mention. Meanwhile, Olivia looks at me like I killed a man.

"Are you okay, Roman?" she chuckles, "That was quite a bit to drink."

"Yep," I say, popping the 'p,' "Just wanting to feel good is all."

I turn around and take a few steps toward where Austin is at the counter, mixing my drink.

"Does Dacre know?" I ask quietly, looking around to ensure no one is watching our conversation. Luckily, no one is paying attention except Dacre, who is looking directly at me.

"Yes," Austin says, "But only because you told him," he purses his lips.

"I only told him because he somehow knew already," I eye him suspiciously.

Austin only makes eye contact with me for a moment before sighing, "Okay, fine, I've told him about you. He must've put the pieces together. I wasn't expecting him to make a comment."

I rub my temple, "Dammit. Thankfully Dacre isn't the type to run his mouth like that, or at least I hope so," I look over to see him chatting with Luke about something, "I feel like he would've told someone by now if he were."

Austin doesn't say anything and hands me my drink, looking me directly in the eye.

"What?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

"I just wish you had told the truth," he says. 

I sigh, taking my drink and walking back to the island where the others are. Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. Austin strides over to the door and reveals Tom with a nice bottle of bourbon in his hands.

"Hey," Austin says, and the two of them embrace momentarily, "We thought you weren't gonna make it!"

"I got done with filming just in time today. Had a moment to stop by somewhere and pick this up," Tom smiles, holding up the bottle for everyone to see.

A string of hellos comes from the group as Tom approaches the kitchen. He sits between Luke and me on the stool as Austin grabs six glasses from the cabinet.

"Would you like to do the honors, Tom?" he asks, motioning to the bottle.

"Don't mind if I do," Tom chuckles, breaking the seal.

Everyone cheers as Austin sits the glasses down, allowing Tom to pour some bourbon into them. Luke and I are still nursing our drinks, but we still take a sip of the dark liquid. I knew immediately that I'd probably be getting drunk just off the little bit of bourbon and the rest of my current drink. I begin taking large gulps of the Long Island when no one is looking. Tonight was already starting to get weird.

"Let's head to the living room and get comfortable there," Austin suggests. Everyone nods in agreement, walking over to the living room.

I sit on one of the couches, Dacre sitting on one side of me with Olivia on the other. Austin and Luke take the other couch while Tom takes one of the accent chairs. Dacre stretches and puts an arm behind me, and Austin all but glares at him. Olivia is too busy scrolling through her phone to notice Austin's eyes burning holes into Dacre's arm behind my head. Seeing Austin jealous makes me almost want to laugh. Maybe there's something still there, especially with the earlier comment about having great taste in women. I almost wish for Austin to be jealous, as bad as that sounds. Does that mean I still have feelings towards him? I'm not sure how to answer that. Tom notices I've zoned out a little. I haven't touched my bourbon, and my eyes are fixated on Austin's shoes.

"So, Roman," Tom says, and I snap my head in his direction, "When are you gonna be back on set to film?"

"Hopefully, in the next few days," I smile, finally taking another sip of the bourbon.

"I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that we've missed seeing you outside of Luke's trailer," Tom says with a chuckle.

A blush rises to my cheeks, "I'll be back soon, guys. I'm not needed outside of his trailer for now."

Austin raises an eyebrow at me, probably wondering what I'm doing in Luke's trailer. He didn't really hang out with Olivia, Luke, Dacre, and me because he had the most scenes to film out of everyone here. I never mentioned to him that we all hung out, so I can only imagine what he's thinking. But I'll let him think. Hard.

Luke must've caught a glance at Austin's face because he starts giggling from next to him, "Roman, that sounds really weird out of context."

I lift my glass up while laughing, "Get your mind out of the gutter, Lucas. You know I'm always with three other people when I hang with you."

"Yeah, but he doesn't know that," Luke nudges Austin's shoulder with his, nearly doubled over in laughter at this point.

"No more bourbon for you, Luke," I snort as I watch Austin relax, "And you, Austin, don't look so sad. We'd invite you too, but you're busy."

"Oh, I know," Austin looks down, clenching his jaw slightly, "I just didn't think you would be fucking with one of my co-stars, let alone two."

The sip of bourbon I just took almost shoots from my nose, and Olivia audibly gasps from next to me. Tom raises his eyebrows in shock while Dacre retracts his arm from behind me. Luke has a look of complete distaste on his face as he turns to Austin.

"What the hell, mate?" Luke asks, appalled that Austin would say such a thing out of nowhere.

I wasn't expecting it to come out of his mouth either. Maybe I let him think too hard. I down the rest of the bourbon without a word. The room falls silent. 

"That was a dick move, man," Dacre mumbles. 

I quietly get up and go to the kitchen to pour another glass of bourbon, this time all the way to the top of the glass. Just when I thought Austin had already said the rudest thing to me, he comes back with a trick up his sleeve. To assume I would sleep with even one of his coworkers was a low blow, but two? What the hell is wrong with him to think that? Also, his comment opened the door to our past that I didn't want to be opened. Now everyone is going to know we have history. I take a shaky gulp of the bourbon, not daring to turn around and acknowledge everyone in the room behind me. Suddenly, I feel a gentle hand on my upper arm. I slowly turn around, fully expecting Austin to come to say something else rude to me. But instead, it's Tom.

"Would you like to step outside with me for a moment?" he motions to the door.

"Sure," I say, not looking him in the eyes as I walk towards the entrance.

The two of us exit the condo and stand on the balcony that overlooks the ocean. Nothing is said for a few minutes as I continue to take large sips of the dark alcohol. With every gulp, my head gets fuzzier. We are leaning against the balcony edge, staring at the waves as they crash onto the shore.

"Are you okay, Roman? I know what Austin said had to have struck a nerve," Tom asks finally.

"Yeah," I breathe out, "I wasn't expecting it," I say, inspecting the now half-empty glass in my hand.

"Did something happen between you two?" Tom is now facing me as his forearms rest against the railing.

I nod wordlessly. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"If I tell you," I say quietly, "You have to promise to not say anything to anyone else. Dacre already knows, but no one else does on set."

"Your secret is safe with me," Tom pats his chest.

I take a deep breath and exhale slowly before answering, "Austin and I dated for five years until a year ago when I broke up with him. I've been lying about not knowing who he is. But we both agreed we'd continue to act like we didn't know each other so we could get to know each other all over again, but I guess that didn't work out."

Tom only hums in response before speaking, "I could tell there was something between you two when you looked at each other."

I finally look at Tom with complete attention, and he doesn't really have an expression on his face. Almost like he already knew. Maybe at this point, everyone does for all I know.

"How do you mean?" I asked, swirling the bourbon around in the glass a little.

"You can always tell when two people love each other by how they look at one another," Tom says, standing up straight.

"I can't say I still love him, or at least not like I used to. The reason why we broke up is that he didn't support my career. I constantly heard that my job choice wasn't good enough and that I deserved a better one because I could do it."

"Well, are you capable of it?" Tom asks.

"I don't know. But I'd rather stay out of the limelight. Besides, I'm just an extra, anyway," I say, downing the rest of the bourbon.

"Says who?" Tom furrows his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Says Austin," I say, beginning to walk back to the door.

"Prove him wrong, then," Tom says, opening the door for me, "Because you, young lady, are more than that."

I look up at Tom and nod, "Thank you."

He just smiles and closes the door behind us. The condo is silent except for the vinyl still playing. Tom and I walk into the living room to see everyone awkwardly on their phones, except Austin, who is sitting in a chair with his arms crossed. He notices I've walked in and stands up immediately.

"Roman, can I talk to you?" he grabs my elbow softly, and I yank it away.

"I'll give you five minutes," I say, trying not to slur. The alcohol began to hit me full force.

The two of us enter the kitchen, where we're out of earshot. I turn and face Austin, who looks really guilty.

"I'm sorry for saying that. I shouldn't have assumed anything or even said it out loud-"

"Sorry for saying what, Austin? I want you to repeat it back to me. And don't apologize just because you likely got scolded by everyone here," I spit, my blood running hot with drunken anger.

"I'm apologizing because I mean it. I'm sorry for saying you were fucking around with my co-stars. I'm sorry for not thinking before I speak," Austin grabs my elbow again, to which I pull it from his grasp again.

"Sorry, but I can't forgive you right now," I chuckle, everything becoming a little blurry, "For someone who is an actor, you really don't know when to not pretend, do you?"

Austin is now holding both of my arms to steady me, "Roman, what are you talking about? Here, let me take you to the guest room."

"I'm talking about you really sucking at pretending you don't still love me," I manage to get out before everything around me fades to black.

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[lifeluvrr]

OUTER BANKS SEASON THREE SPOILERS!!!!!!

You Have Been Warned.

also pls leave your opinions cus im curious.

i am quite literally just not a fan of this season 😭😭 it felt almost completely different from the first two seasons. i didn’t like how the group didn’t seem to get many scenes together, it was always like jj and kiara scene, cleo and pope scene, and then john b and sarah scene. the groups were so separated to me and i despised it!!! the group dynamic?? just felt all weird idk maybe that’s just me! it just felt like strangers things s4 and the way they had the california group, hawkins group, and russia group.

i am Happy I Guess for jiara shippers but i couldn’t stand whatever angst thing they had going on throughout the season. Again, that could just be me cus i ain’t a jiara stan to begin with.

i didn’t quite care for the carlos singh. for lack of a better word, i thought he was unnecessary. he was kinda just there for me idk

I think rafe’s “love interest” was out of nowhere. i didn’t really care for her and i guess she was there specifically to knock some sense into rafe for that One Thing but other than that, she seemed random.

i hated sarah cheating on john b. it wasn’t out of character i guess?? no offense sarah i love u with my whole body. i just didn’t like it.

jj way just not jayjaying this season for me. Still love him to death. OH AND IDK WHY THEY WROTE EVERYONE RANDOMLY STARTING TO CALL HIM JAYJ?? Like im sure they didn’t it a couple of times it the other seasons but man this season like everytime they were speaking to him, they were saying jayj

topper burning down the chateau. Boooooooo thumbs down.

I genuinely feel like they didn’t know what else to do with limbrey cus her ending was like a bit eh yk

i think the last few episodes did feel like the other seasons, like when john b and jj were together. i wish there was more jj and pope cus there was like absolutely none this season. i wish there was more kie and john b. i wish there was more kie and pope. BASICALLY like what i said in the first paragraph.

ANYWAY THINGS I DID LIKE!!!

I LOVE CLEO AND POPE they mean the world to me. I love how heyward and mama heyward are with cleo and how they were willing to give her a place to stay. i love cleo talking pope out of shooting rafe. i love their no love club. AND THEIR KISS!!! UGH!!! i would dee eye ee for them.

john b and sarah felt the same Minus the cheating. i know they r soooo cheesy but i am a sucker for it idc!

i loovvveeeddd kie this season like she wasn’t that different but something Was different i can’t put my finger on it.

SARAH GETTING HER OWN EPISODES <33333 they were a bit cheesy with the “my heart chooses which side im on” “idk who i am, pogue or kook” but to be fair, she has been through a lot so i can understand the identify crisis or whatever!

ward and his flashbacks of sarah got me. i Know he cares for sarah like a lot. OH AND THEN THE LIKE PARALLEL!! ward being like “you won’t shoot me” (i can’t remember exactly what he said obviously) and rafe hesitating but with sarah she didn’t even hesitate. i was like jaw dropped cus i already knew sarah ain’t like her father too much anymore after s2 but idk that really solidified it with me. And how much rafe genuinely cares for his father.

[shallowseeker]

hey Shal! So nice to hear from you! I'm happy to read that my words were received kindly, I was afraid I was a bit "too much" as I always am eheh :) I can maybe understand what you mean with having trouble with word finding and I can totally see you put a lot of care and thought into your work. But, honest to god, I don't read the "labor", the hard work behind things being thought out one way and coming together differently on the page. What I read is that you have a very distinctive style and it's a super smooth one at that (is writing for cinema or screenwriting in general a thing for you? I'll say it again you got the eye). And the dialogues are soooo, like, real! I said that I can maybe understand what you mean because I personally feel like my brain goes way way waaay too fast. Sometimes it's hard cause I don't feel like I can express myself like I want to and then people actually don't understand me so I get upset at myself and end up being unable to express myself even more and the cycle begins again... At university things were the same, my papers were always too "convoluted", my ideas were "too much", I lacked structure etc. It was very painful and made me feel like writing was not for me like at all. Which is bullshit, writing is for everyone. Now I don't know why I'm saying all this stuff, see? My brain is a mess, but I guess what I want to say is that whatever it is that you're doing with your writing process, you're clearly doing it great! It's a gift to be able to open up one's own imagination and show it to other people. It might not be easy(when things are, really), but it is a talent for sure and you got it!

take care <3

I personally feel like my brain goes way way waaay too fast. Sometimes it's hard cause I don't feel like I can express myself like I want to and then people actually don't understand me so I get upset at myself and end up being unable to express myself even more and the cycle begins again... At university things were the same, my papers were always too "convoluted", my ideas were "too much", I lacked structure etc.

That's exactly how it feels! Too fast at the wrong times, too slow at the wrong times. Other times, just static.

Word-finding is the worst, and then ppl wind up nitpicking when you choose the wrong ones and it can be soul-crushing like, "Oh no wait. That's not what I meant," matched with the mean-spirited, "But it's what you said and no takebacksies!"

Ah...anyway.

If you like to write, maybe we can join up on a writing sesh sometime in the future! The only cure I've found so far for all the cognitive dysfunction is making a habit of it...and having good company.