#she's literally just sitting there but Shep and i are dying

[curious-menace]

Batman has put on a bit of quarantine weight (he could lose it but he's like fuck it I'm cool with having a muffin top) and his villains take notice how would they all react to slightly softer looking batman bonus if one of villains is like supportive like you look adorable all chubby bats..like a cuddly bat plush.

dad bod batman. 

that is all. 

jk here are some headcanons

Penguin 

well he’s a lil chubby himself so i doubt he’s going to be in a position to throw any stones in this particular glass house. You could argue that batman looks the same since some men look really fat when its actually muscle. think rugby players, professional weight lifters (not body builders thats all for show) and maybe professional boxers? look at albert king in arkham knight. he’s chubby but he’s a brick wall! either way i dont think penguin will be treating him any different. batman can still punch his lights out and now with a bit of extra weight? he’s going to hit like a runaway train. 

TwoFace

Again, he doesnt spend much time looking at batmans ass while he’s running away from him. he might make some jokes about how batman weights if he landed on him for a take down, maybe joke like catwoman about needing a few more notches in his utility belt. To be honest, this whole quarantine isolation thing has him a bit down in the dumps. he’s probably just happy to see another human being, even if it is batman.  

Ivy

Shes teasing but not mean, like selina. shes loving quarantine life. nobody bothers her and she’s free to be with her plants all day long. she’s basically just chilling in the botanic gardens, since its closed due to not being an essential service. when batman shows up to check on her, she notices something is different but doesnt pin point it right away. but when he jumps down from the rafters and makes her glass herb gardens rattle she burst out laughing. again, shes not being mean, she just genuinely finds this hilarious that even the great batman has put on a few pounds in lock down. yes, she is loving the new look, softer around the edges and better for sitting on if he was under mind control

Scarecrow

i mean this in the nicest way possible but scarecrow literally does not give one tiny fuck. he’s gotten so much work done in lockdown without people bothering him, he’s soo deep in his research that he doesn't even notice batman approach. he does freak the fuck out , flinging vials of his new toxin 10 feet in the air in fright when he turns around and batman is standing there. the vials land far enough away that they aren't in any danger. still Stawman is pissed that batman just had to show up right then and scare the piss out of him. but he hasn't seen another human in like 3 months and since his research is ruined, he asks batman to stay for a few minutes. there's nothing technically illegal afoot in his lab right now, so why not see how crane is holding up? he sits in one of scarecrow old chairs that groans like a dying animal under his weight. scarecrow might raise an eyebrow but he’s not going to stay anything, not right now anyway. 

Riddler

oh thank GOD ! another human being! riddler is glad, actually fuckin glad to see batman. he’s been so BORED since lockdown started he actually contemplated kidnapping some people just so he’d have company. i made a joke once that you cant gag any riddler because they’ll just store it up and ramble more later. this is exactly what happens with batman when riddler spots him , he’s speaking so fast the flash would have trouble understanding him “Come in batman, sit down make yourself comfortable, not in that chair that’s a deathtrap ive been working on. have you put on a little weight? nevermind im sure you can work it off in my newest puzzle its very- wait where are you going?!” speaking of bat plushies , riddler absolutely has a batman plush on his desk that he likes to ramble at. when the real bats leaves he makes a mental note to put some more stuffing into plushie batman.

Harley

Harley hugs batman. i guess its ok, she might as well be part of his bubble for all the time they spend together. she notices right away hes put on a few but shes not one  to complain. makes him soft, its a nice change from jokers bones and refusal to give her even a head pat. Batman is a softie at heart, he cant bring himself to push her away. she’s mostly compliments about him looking soft and chubby and invites to stay with her or wont he please please please take her to the batcave shes so bored and she misses the robins, god help her she even misses the other rogues. she also misses going outside but technically a cave isnt outside so shes not breaking any rules and surely there must be enough room to be socially distant in a place that size.  batman disappears for a few hours, seemingly ignoring her request . he returns with plushies of all the rogues and batfam, and a special bat patterned facemask just for her. this earns him another not so socially distant hug with harley possibly not quite copping a feel of his new love handles and plump butt. 

this was very silly but an enjoyable write, thank you for the prompt nonnie! i must admit, im more like scarecrow than harley. i like being inside, but i worry im getting to use to it and if things return to normal (relatively speaking) i wont want to go back out again. 

i suppose that's a problem for future shep right?

got something you wanna talk about? send me an ask or a dm!💜💙💛🧡💚❤️

[animation-recaps-by-sean]

Steven Universe Future-Together Forever/Growing Pains Recap

Steven and Connie have troubles, which leads to a doctor visit. Spoilers below.

So the episode begins with Steven being nervous about Connie’s future. She’s looking at a college that’s far away. Steven, you have a teleporting lion and a spaceship. It’s not that big of a deal. But of course Steven is worried about Connie drifting away still.

So he goes to the best couple for advice, Ruby and Sapphire. Ruby thinks he should propose. Sapphire agrees. Ah guys, as much as I want Conniverse endgame, I’m not even sure what Steven and Connie’s relationship is right now. Connie introduced Steven as a friend last episode and the kiss in the movie was just on the cheek.

So Steven takes Connie on a really romantic date. And she loves it and he sings a really sweet song. And then Steven proposes. He wants to get married and be Stevonnie forever. Connie’s reaction is not as bad as it could be. She gives him a gentle not now. She loves Steven and she loves being Stevonnie, but she also loves herself. Steven doesn’t get how uncomfortable he’s being and pushes Connie away.

After cratoring his pinic, he’s greeted by Garnet. She informs him that Ruby and Sapphire are too romantic to get good love advice from. Garnet tells Steven ‘Your soulmate is your compliment, not your missing piece’. Steven doesn’t really notice.

Later, Steven isa mess. He’s avoiding Connie, the Gems are out on business, and Greg is out on tour with Sadie and Shep. He keeps pinking out, with Connie notices when she video calls. So she sets him up with her Mom for a check up. Steven has never been to a doctor which does not impress her. That is weird but it's part of that weirdness that people don’t care about the gems thing that’s been showing up in the show. It wants Gems to be mysterious and mondune at the same time, so they just have people not care. And it’s always weird. Doesn’t jell right with me.

Steven is nervous about getting naked in front of his kind of girlfriend’s mom, he keeps his underwear on. After an x-ray, Priyanka finds literal cracks in his skeleton from all the battles. His healing powers kept him from dying but it’s taken a mental toll. It’s been a fandom joke that Steven needs therapy for years, and it’s nice to see someone address it in the show. Well almost, the fall short of actually suggesting therapy though.

Connie does call Greg, Steven tearfully reveals that do to too many life threatening situations, that extreme reaction is just the default, so Steven’s just freaking out about everything. It’s a good step.

We’ll see if it goes anywhere. Prickly Pair set up a big thing with the Gems and they haven’t touched on that yet. The structure of this series is strange, the need to wrap up most episodes but still wants Steven’s drama to be the ongoing plot. This creates some repetitive beats in the episodes. Also it’s a tough sit. It’s good but it’s emotionally draining.

For now these get 3/4

[transpathfinder]

view from the window

would u look at that i finally was inspired to write something on my fresh ME3 pt now after that scene in Huerta hospital. i went to a theme generator and it said “view from my window” i’m taking the dive and posting it

so uhh context for those who don’t know in my ever changing continuity lmao;

Kaidan/Shep/Ash ot3 of course from ME1 through ME3

Shep/Thane qpr in ME2 that continues cos Thane lives post-war idgaf 

chars: Kaidan, Ash, Thane (Shep isn’t here, gen fic where the rest just meet ya feel............)

Kaidan sees him from his spot by the bed, the drell lurking beyond the glass window looking directly at them, making no air of hiding himself.

That's him, Kaidan thinks. He instantly knows that's... him.

The Major turns back to glance at Ash - god, Ash, wake up - and when he turns back, the drell is right outside now - how did he move so fast? - hands folded behind his back while gazing at him, head slightled cocked. Kaidan doesn't know drell faces, but he imagines he's asking permission to come in, so he gestures at the door vaguely.

The assassin enters, and it's... strange. Ash nearly dead in her bed, Kaidan standing awkwardly by her, and this drell standing at the door, looking between them and betraying no emotion.

"I heard what happened... I wanted to see. Thane Krios," he says, introducing himself as if Kaidan doesn't already know.

"I know."

He feels a flare of irritation, not exactly at Krios, but at this whole situation eating away at him. This damn war, damn Reapers, fear of receiving news of Ash dying next time he's back at the hospital after a meeting with Udina, fear of receiving news of Shepard dying when he wakes up each day. It's too much, too much fear and worry and death, his body and mind still aching after taking a beating on Mars, and now there's a drell in the room he has to make conversation with.

"May I sit down?"

Kaidan blinks, he had been staring at Ash's bruised face.

"Uh, yeah, sure, sorry, I..."

He doesn't know. Trails off, letting his words hang. They both sit on each side of Ash. Kaidan internally screams at her again, wake up wake up please wake up-

"How is she?"

"Bad. Docs say her vitals are strong but, you know, no one wants to tell me for real."

"I will pray for her, if you think she wouldn't mind."

At this, Kaidan looks at Krios, properly for the first time. He looks... well, Kaidan can't really comment, not knowing their kind before. Tall, green, big eyes resting on the Major's face, arms ever folded. Would Ash mind? No, not at all. She would appreciate it, and frankly... so does Kaidan right now. He'd gladly give prayer to any gods or spirits out there, begging them to watch over the people he loves.

"She'd be grateful, actually. Thank you." He means it. A simple, thin feeling of content during his distress.

They sit in silence for a while, Krios' head bent low, hands clasped in front of him. Kaidan can hear whispers of a prayer, mixed with words he doesn't understand. It occurs to him he hasn't returned the pleasantries, as much as his skull is about to explode from the countless other things he is worrying about now. The Major brushes some hair over Ashley's face, waiting for Krios to finish.

"How, ah, how are you? I heard you were..." He's terrible at making conversations lately, not in the mood to talk to anyone even.

"You need not mince your words, Major Alenko. Yes, my body is dying. But thanks to Shepard and top scientists from my work at Cerberus, it has been given new life for some more years, and my soul meaning once more. I require constant medical attention, but I am at peace."

Shepard. It's the first time he has mentioned her in their presence.

"I'm... I'm happy for you." Again, he means it. This drell who forged a bond with their ex-love - no, not ex, you know that's a lie - who made Shepard less alone when they couldn't, who raised each other up going through almost literal hell to the galaxy's centre... there is no way he couldn't be happy for someone like that to have walked into their lives despite the messiness of their situation.

Krios inclines his head again, blinking in that odd way at him Kaidan isn't used to, continuing, "I confess, I have been watching you for a few hours now. I wasn't sure when to approach, or if I should at all."

Hours? Kaidan only saw him a few minutes ago, and he has been in and out walking about the room, running after doctors and nurses begging for an update, stalking like a mad man all this time. Not once did he notice Krios. Best of the best, then, he thinks wryly.

"I'm glad you did, Krios. And if Ash were awake, she'd say the same thing, really. I... never got the chance to thank anyone for what you did with the Collectors. And with Shepard, you know, for being with her when... Well. Thank you."

Kaidan's fists are balled in his thighs, he can't look at any face, feeling the slight burn of embarrassment but also stubbornness, knowing what they did back then was the right call.

"You're welcome. I never expected or even wanted to survive that, but Shepard has a way of making you want to live."

Krios smiles, and Kaidan smiles for the first time since they started talking, at last easing up a bit. That she does.

"How did you know who we were, anyway? You weren't here when we came in." Kaidan is curious, wondering if she ever talked about them to him.

Krios blinks again, like the answer is supposed to be obvious, "She keeps a picture of the two of you on her desk. One among many other stories, something about 'drunk after Flux'".

Kaidan chuckles sadly, he remembers that. The high of defeating Sovereign, spending too many credits on fancy drinks, his memory of that a colourful and blurry haze. It almost aches now. thinking about those times. Then, it hits him.

"Uh, stories?"

"Yes. I remember all the stories Shepard has told me about the two of you. There has been many. I feel like I almost know you."

Oh. That... is something. Kaidan doesn't know how to respond to that. She talks about us. A part of him swells at that. The drell seems to sense that in him, making sure to look at him directly again, continuing,

"We are not competitors, Major Alenko. Shepard is important to me, and the both of you are important to her. I simply would like the chance to remain where we all are."

Remain where we are? Kaidan has no idea where that is. He does feel like someone has hit him, rushing on to respond, "No, I, ah, it's not- I don't see you as a... It's fine. Like I said, I'm glad for you. And her."

The drell simply looks back at him while Kaidan speaks. He doesn't know when this had become so hard.

They sit in silence, not as uncomfortable anymore. A few more minutes pass before Krios gets up to leave, speaking again, "If you do not mind, I would like to visit every day to pray. And perhaps... talk, if possible."

Kaidan pauses, his fingers grazing Ash's cold arm. He's starving for something, what exactly, he doesn't know. Some good news from the war, his family, his partner (one of two? shut up, Alenko) to leap from her hospital bed calling him a dumbass for worrying, some sort of desperate connection to Shepard from a time they couldn't be around.

Maybe some quiet talk with a drell assassin on occassion might do some good for his mind during his current plague. Surrounded by so many people in all this horror, most of them running around him or too distant or in a coma, and Kaidan realises he is lonely and upset.

"I'd like that, Krios."

It comes out softer than the Major intended, feeling himself sounding weak, but Krios nods. He does a slight bow, and leaves without a sound. Kaidan's first instance of peace during this entire damn mess, and it was in this assassin's presence who shares his love of a Commander.

**********

She's about the gnaw her sheets off, the discomfort from lying in bed all day is getting to her and she just wants to bolt but her body still feels sluggish. Ash's stupid heart is not playing around, she can't help but listen to the news constantly and Kaidan isn't around to stop her, off at some nearby system helping evacuation.

And of course, the thought of Shepard responding to her message saying she'd come by soon when her time allows... it's too much. Ash needs to get up and run, back in the fray, assault rifle heavy in her hands, armour heavy on her body, side by side with Shepard and Kaidan-

She sees him standing at the window suddenly, eyes looking inquisitively at her. Oh, that's him. Kaidan had told her about the drell who had been visiting every day, praying at her bedside, talking to him (them, really) about his time with Shepard. This is the first time Ash is seeing him, though. She gestures for him to enter, and then, there he is. It's weird but she feels an instant sense of familiarity with him despite her being unconscious around him all this time.

"Hey," she starts. It feels light, like two maybe friends looking at each other after a long time.

"Ashley Williams. It is good to see you awake."

"Ha, yeah. Been gone too long as far as I'm concerned. Someone needs to get up and kick this war in the ass."

Krios doesn't react to that, instead moving in a bit so she can see him better.

"May I sit down?"

Ash nods, and he gracefully settles in beside her, which she gets the feeling he has done so a lot these past few weeks.

"Thanks for the prayers. Kaidan told me you came by every day. I appreciate it."

"You need not thank me. I have enjoyed the company, and the conversations your partner provided me when he was around."

Krios sounds sincere, and Ash is glad there was someone else there this whole time. The universe never fails to make her feel in awe, these little connections she never would have thought would have linked them all together. Yet, here this drell sits. Someone who was with Shepard during their lonely days, now beside her praying to his gods and goddesses for a human he doesn't need to know.

"Major Alenko told me you would be 'bored to tears' once you awoke. I thought I would drop by to pass you some old drell poetry you might be interested in."

Ash instantly lights up, "Wow, that'd be great. How did you know?"

"Shepard talks about you perhaps more than you realise" - wait, huh - Ash wants to process that but he doesn't let her, carrying on, "These are old poems and stories my wife favoured when she was alive. The translation might be slightly off, but I believe you might enjoy them."

Krios lights up his omni-tool and copies some files to her. He's right, these are old, and there're hundreds of pages, filed neatly under religions and philosophies and the stars. Immediately, she's excited to browse through them.

"Krios, these are fantastic. Thank you."

He seems happy, she can tell. The drell breathes. "These files have been with me for years, some of the last things I own of her. I have never been able to pass them to anyone... not a friend in 10 years, neither Shepard nor my son have an interest in this artform. Something of my wife... buried, now finally appreciated by new eyes."

He's silent for a moment, thinking, chin resting on his hands as he looks blankly at her while Ash tries her best not to stare back, and then the drell continues in an almost afterthought, distant, "This is really my second life. Perhaps this is what it means to find meaning once more. Quiet conversations and sharing..."

Ash turns back to her omni-tool, mindlessly flipping through the contents because she can't possibly read them now, but she similarly feels a sense of peace, and happiness for the man beside her. By all accounts from what she knows, someone back from the brink of death and loneliness, now alive once more, thanks to Shepard.

It's a full triangle of people who cannot imagine how different their lives would have been without the Commander in it, Ash realises. You sure know how to pick ‘em, Williams. 

"End of days got us all thinking about something, Krios. We're not as alone as we thought."

"Indeed. I wouldn't have thought this possible a few years ago. But now, I have more years in this shell. Friends, family... the gods have been kind. I have led a blessed life."

Ash smiles at him, her already warm feelings towards him deepening, just the pure joy of people around her finding hope and light in the simplest things, even if it's merely being able to finally share some poetry your wife used to love because of the unexpected bonds you've made in times of war.

"Hey, uh, Shepard said she'd be visiting soon, you know. So don't run anywhere."

The drell rises to his feet, does a bow - wow, Kaidan wasn't kidding. Krios really bows - and says, "Wouldn't dream of it. But... regardless, I hope to continue seeing you and Major Alenko."

"Only if you don't hang outside the window anymore."

Krios stills, then hums soundly, "It is a promise, then."

He walks out, and Ash turns back to her big window. The bright artificial sunlight outside for the first time since she woke up not irritating her.

[autodiscothings]

Prayers for the wicked must never be forsaken.

I jokingly tag all my Thane Krios reblogs and posts as ‘Sad Murder Lizard,’ but I think it sums up my thoughts on him pretty well.

When you first meet him, it’s very cool- neck snapping, vent crawling, sauntering down darkened ducts to casually take out guards, starting a gay awakening in salarian janitors… as introductions go, it’s great.

And then you learn he is dying. And holy shit, is this the trait in which his entire character is built upon; death and redemption. He tells you this, several times over:

The universe is a dark place. I'm trying to make it brighter before I die.

And later, during his loyalty mission trigger:

As I face the end of my body's time here, I find myself dwelling on my mistakes.

Well alright, it’s a suicide mission! Hop aboard, sad murder lizard, you’re recruited. Plenty of room on the Normandy with similarly inclined folk staring at the end of a barrel.

So Shepard sits and talks with Thane over tea, and the first conversations are surface- religion, his sickness, where he’s from. Given what choices you make, he can be quite dry in wit- not Garrus levels of snark, but it’s there.

The second conversation, however, is when the fucked up shit starts surfacing. You learn he’s been an assassin-in-training since he was six, given to the Compact by his parents to the hanar:

They were training me. I was not to be used and thrown away. I was an investment.

Oh but don’t act shocked- sorry, did I mislead you? They saw me as a person, honest. And anyway, I didn’t really kill my first man until I was twelve. This is normal, yes?

And if you fire back that it sounds like slavery, he gets very defensive:

They rescued us – some of us- from extinction. We owe them our lives. Don't insult me, Shepard. Anyone can refuse to serve. Few do.

So let’s talk about that Compact. When I first started writing about drell, I was trying my hardest to see it from the hanar’s point of view; that their intentions were honourable and good, and to some individual hanar, perhaps. Thane gives a mauldin Thomas Hobbes quote about the drell homeworld:

“When all the world is overcharged with inhabitants, when the last remedy of all is war, which provideth for every man with victory or death.” As Rakhana died around them, my people slaughtered each other for mouthfuls of water.

Out of the billions left to die on Rakhana, the hanar took 375,000 drell to the ocean homeworld of Kahje. Later on, thanks to Kepral’s fucking them up, their life expectancy actually decreased: out of those 375,000, Thane tells you:

There are only a few hundred thousand of us left, after all.

I’m going to assume drell are not a mono-religion culture, but to Thane’s religion, where the literal goddess of the afterlife carries you across the sea, it’s very easy to imagine the deep effect it had to most. We the lucky ones have been carried safe and sound, and placed on welcoming shores by our saviours.

The drell at the time weren’t even space faring, nor had they discovered the Relays. They had “no fusion power,” which given the janky space science the writers are prone to can either be taken to mean actual (still a theory)  fusion power, or (already proven, thanks Manhattan Project) nuclear power.

If drell were pre-nuclear power, that means Rakhana fucked itself over during their version of the industrial revolution; the hanar literally took a race that barely made aeroplanes and cars into a world full of Mass Effect relays and made them their servants.

And this fits in very nicely with what Thane tells you the third time you speak to him. That his accountability for his actions are not his own, because drell do not think of their body and souls in the way humans, asari and turians do. So when he kills, it’s on whoever ordered him to make the kill- he was the gun, not the one who pulled the trigger.

My body is merely flesh. Flesh whose reflexes were honed to kill. My body was only the tool they used. If you kill a man with your gun, do you hold your gun responsible?

As lines of defence go, it’s fairly shit, isn’t it? You can’t argue anything back to him, the game won’t let you.

It’s also of note that during this conversation he lets slip his infamous “sunset eyes” solipsism, and his Wife In The Refrigerator is mentioned.

Irikah at least gets to speak in the Foundation comic, and I like some on the things they introduced about her. We learn she was a scientist, and worked researching a cure for a hanar disease; that she really did stand defiant in the laser dot of his sniper rifle.

But it was still her role to die, and I did not get the impression she was her own person in either the  comic or through Thane’s dialogue. In a 24 page comic about her husband I would understand this can be hard to achieve, but she still was a prop created for Thane.

Her death is glorified, too. There’s an entire panel of Thane kneeling in her blood; her attacker goads Thane by telling him she “tasted sweet” when she died, and of the “unspeakable” things they did to her.

And so Thane went after them all in a suitably badass manner. It’s a common storytelling trope: John Wick, Akira, Cowboy Bebop, Logan/Wolverine, The Punisher… Revenge yarns are fun to watch, but the reason for the revenge always seems to be an afterthought.

All of this could be dealt with Thane telling you what he loved about her; perhaps the pride he felt because she helped people with her work, not like him, he was just a killer- that she was a good mother; how she liked her tea- just something other than- defiant, wife, murdered.

Fridging aside, we learn that Thane tried to be a family man. In the comic, he flat out states he didn’t know how to be a husband or a father, but did it anyway. When he asks Shepard for help finding his son, we see he starts to contradict himself:

My body is blessed with the skills to take life. I didn't want that life for Kolyat. I hoped he would find his own way. If he hated me, so be it. He would not have shared the path of sin.

He calls it sin, his life. Gone is the “it was a honour, Shepard” defence and in its place is a man who knows the paths he walked down were dark:

I'm trying to make it brighter before I die.

The loyalty mission hinges on finding Kolyat so his son doesn’t make the same mistake. What’s interesting here is two things introduced to underpin this. The use of Captain Bailey, who looks the other way to help because he sees a parent who gives a damn and knows what estranged father feels like, and Mouse.

Mouse the drala’fa, the forgotten duct rat. Mouse who Thane gave chocolate to, but not Kolyat. Mouse who he took a photo of. Mouse who he used for his wetwork, to spy on his targets. Mouse, who is more observant than he lets on:

Whenever you talked about your kid, your eyes got like that. Like they was someplace else. Sad. He had that holo you took of me, you know. That's how [Kolyat] proved who he was. But when he turned it on, his eyes got like yours do.

Interestingly with Thane, I find the Renegade options reveal meatier options (and snarkier responses.) It’s through Renegade Thane begs Kolyat that he knows no other life:

I was six when the hanar began to train me. I didn't know any better. Your mother woke me from my battle sleep.

That’s him admitting it was a hard life, a life no child should have. There’s no honour of the Compact there, but a lonely man trying to reach out to his son to not make the same mistakes he did.

If the mission is a success and you slap/shoot Kolyat, Thane tells you about Irikah (in an offhand manner I take issue with, as mentioned.) But the main takeaway I get from this conversation with Shepard is this:

It is difficult. All things worth keeping are.

That’s him realising his mistakes, and having some semblance of hope for the future. The last conversation you have before the last mission, no matter if you romanced him or not, is Thane telling you he walked to his death with open eyes. That when you met him snapping necks in Dantius Towers, it was his last target, because he knew without Shepard there, he would’ve died.

If you fail the loyalty mission, Thane walks to his death again, because taking bad is not that same creating good, and that:

Entropy always wins.

If you romance him, you know he’s now terrified he’s woken from his battle sleep and had a reason to live again (Kolyat, Siha) only to have the ticking time bomb in his lungs and the Collectors remind him what little time he has left:

[I will] take the time left given and praise all I know for allowing me to walk my final days with hope and certainty that I am worthy of more than my cold isolation, solely because you believed.

So Mass Effect three happens; Thane is a bit of an afterthought here. From a cold logistical gaming writer POV, I can see why it happened, but it still sucked to endure if you: 1) romanced Thane and 2) actually liked the character.

The writers seemed that take the letter to a romanced Shepard from the Shadow Broker dossier and used it to shape Thane’s narrative for the third game, as well as for the Citadel DLC. Kepral’s isn’t magically cured in the space of six months; no space magic happens for Thane to return to the Normandy and be at your side again.

If I’m honest, I like this aspect of his story; Thane Mod exists for those that do not. In my opinion, death has always shaped his character; it is his constant companion, still.

The reunion you have as a romanced Shepard is very much him “letting you go,” in some ways. After apparently getting it on in a hospital (classy, Shep- classy) the second conversation is him telling you that:

Live well with the time you have. Perhaps we shall see each other again.

No tu fira here yet, that comes later. To fit in with the narrative of the DLC, you can perhaps argue he’s keeping himself out your way as his sickness is worse than he’s letting on. Thane knows Shepard’s role in the Reaper war is important; he would only hold them back.

Which of course means that the game codes you as single there after, and you can’t tell Vega to get jumped when he’s all flirty, or brush off other advances.

Cerberus coup time, and Captain Cutscene (aka Kai Leng and his silly sword) is here. Thane goes out in the way he wanted; not coughing in a hospital bed, but trying to do some good saving a Councillor.

Thane is at least given a goodbye here; he dies with his son and either his Siha or his “only friend” by his side. He prays for you, not him. He wants the last thing he hears to be Shepard’s prayer, not his.

No one in the game recognises the sacrifice, and you need to buy a DLC to be allowed to grieve. When Garrus stands by the memorial wall to talk about the Virmire survivor -if they died, if they didn’t- Thane isn’t mentioned. All the headcanon in the world can create a reason why, but it’s still a dick move from the writers.

The DLC memorial scene is interesting. It has a stilted, awkward Kolyat not understanding why he has to have it (which, for a race built on memories, is hilarious, and I head canon that some drell don’t see the point of memorials, since they never forget anyway.)

Even if you don’t romance him, he sends vidmails to you, his only friend. You know he tried to reach out for you, but circumstances meant you couldn’t connect.

The main interesting thing I take from the funeral scene, is that the Council want to make Thane a recognisable hero. Thane Krios’s name would be associated forever with an act of good, not his “path of sin” as an assassin. He became his wife, defiant in the sight a scope. Or rather, a Cerberus sword.

So, to summarize: Thane Krios- death becomes him, death defines him; in his sacrifice, he will be remembered as a hero, not as a villain: Your mission gave me purpose. A cause to die for. A chance to atone. I was able to speak to my son again. I can leave my body in peace.

NOTE: Despite someone who has so far written a fanfic about Kolyat and has a lot of thoughts about sassy lizards, I’ve been very quiet on Thane/Kolyat’s dynamic in this little essay. It’s an interesting one to talk about, but it deserves its own separate post, which I’ll get around to at some point.

[meggannn]

Character development meme! 5, 32, 45

(I’m going to pretend you meant my Shepard and roll with it!)

5 - On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Jeez, that’s a good question. In the future everything we carry around in our pockets now may be digital. Maybe a pack of cigarettes (she never has the time to smoke, though she desperately misses it and carries some around just in case). 

32 - Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable. 

Around children, or anyone under about ~15. She can comfort orphans if she has to – part of special forces training involves crisis response and dealing with calming civilians enough to follow authority to get them to safety – and she knows how to interact with street-smart preteens from her youth, but she’ll be mighty uncomfortable about it. There’s a lot of baggage and lowkey resentment rattling in the back of her mind because she never got to have a normal childhood. Seeing and dealing with orphans brings her back to that, and seeing children in healthy, stable families makes her feel like a kid again wishing she had something she was never gonna get. And again, crisis response, she can handle them for a few minutes and she’s genuinely kind to them, but the idea of dealing with children for long periods of time? Being a mom? Error signs start going off in her head. (Sorry, Garrus, that conversation about having kids is not going anywhere any time soon.)

Lyd also has severely debilitating moments of self-doubt that hit her in the worst situations, particularly when dealing with politicians and bureaucracy, mostly due to her self-doubt that arose over not getting to experience a stable upbringing (food, shelter, family, friends, formal education, even cultural stability as a displaced british asian growing up without parents), combined with some of her more embarrassing actions as a gangster. as an adult she sometimes feels like she’s playing pretend, that she doesn’t belong at the table, that people are thinking or saying it to each other but that she’s only used/consulted to keep up appearances (she does not react well to hearing she’s been nominated for spectrehood. she thinks/knows it’s a token gesture and it’s signing her up for a lifetime of being a political pawn.) The military is the one place where she feels comfortable with her competency because she almost completely rebuilt who she was from rock bottom there and gave herself new purpose in N7 training, so she feels comfortable as a soldier because it’s what she trained and worked for. but when politicians ask for her advice or when she’s offered a seat at the table? Are they mocking her? Do these people know she’s never once set foot in a university? Why do people her age keep making references to some weird cartoon from the 2160s out of nostalgia? What do people actually do on holidays with their families that’s apparently so damn special?

(Like, most days she can successfully wrangle her way around a conversation with someone who’s talking about things she can’t relate to, eg Ashley talking about her family. But in ME1 when Kaidan asks Shep about her parents, and her face becomes a brick wall like “They’re either dead or in prison or don’t care about me. End of conversation. Next?” More of that hypocrisy from this answer.) 

(And oh my god don’t get me started on her thoughts about Garrus in ME1. She respects his competency and reasons for being there but sometimes she wants to shake him like a leaf. Doesn’t he know there are people who’d fucking kill to have a parent care that much about them, someone to prevent him from making mistakes, a father to teach him morals are important? She joined a gang because no one told her not to! She had to learn how do that whole “being a good person” thing on her own and made decisions that got her sister killed! It isn’t till late ME1 and she gets to know him that she realizes he’s speaking out of a difference of character, or maybe a generational gap, not out of disrespect for his family.)

45 - What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

She’s not religious. She wouldn’t label herself atheist or agnostic, she just doesn’t spend any time thinking about the metaphysical. (Not that she wouldn’t have a friendly discussion about belief or religion with Ashley or Samara if the topic were ever raised.)

In @skogrr great fic a little louder than the living, their Shepard has a really fantastic conversation with Ashley about how they both view death that I’ve kind of adopted to feed into my own headcanon. After Shepard’s ME2 “death” (for the sake of logic I can’t headcanon it as an actual death, a literal resurrection stretches my limits of scifi believability) she refuses to let herself think about the fact that she saw nothing, heard nothing, was nothing, and that lasted for a period of time longer than she registered, that the galaxy forgot her and dismissed everything she’d done, and that was just within two years. Imagine being dead forever! She can’t. It’ll happen one day, sure, but she’s not gonna sit around thinking about it. In fact she’s gonna be so good at Not Thinking About It, she’ll bristle any time someone mentions the Collectors as a suicide mission, because she starts taking it as a personal and professional insult, and it becomes a challenge to prove them wrong. She saw her unit die on Akuze and her first crew ever on the Normandy was blown up over Alchera, and she’s resolved not to let the Collectors be strike three. she will NOT let herself think about dying again.

By ME3… death has become woven into nearly everywhere Shepard turns, it’s hard not to think about doing it (if it’ll hurt again, how it’ll happen, will it even affect the war at all), but still not what will happen to her after. The idea of being and doing nothing isn’t as scary to her anymore, but she doesn’t think it’s her time yet. If she dies in the war, she’ll take it as a failure to complete her duty; if she’s assassinated a week after the Reapers die, that sucks but it’s fine, at least she finished her most important job. So depending on when she imagines death happening, she has different ideas about it. Dying in war would feel unfinished and restless; dying after it’s over would be the closest thing to finally having peace that she can imagine. (That’s not to say she’s suicidal after ME3. Depressed, yes, PTSD, yes, complicated issues with death, yes, but she’s not actively seeking it.)

character development meme

[faejilly]

onemooncircles replied to your post “so I have this sneaking desire to uh … not pick Liara up until last to...”

I also didn't pick Liara up until last the first time I played and I felt super guilty that I hadn't taken her along to kill her mom, which ... actually when you think about it that should not be a thing for a person to feel bad about XD

oh, I’ve done it before, I feel like it’s maybe kinda cheap to do it again on purpose? but hey, it’s my game, right? Plus I’m playing my Earthborn Paragon who is fuzzy on the concept of familial loyalty, so he doesn’t really get why anyone thinks he should talk to the Matriarch’s daughter anyways 

(and yeah, I think it’s more I feel guilty she doesn’t get a chance to say good-bye, no matter how bittersweet that is, I know from experience it helps a lot with the dealing afterwards)

servantofclio replied to your post “so I’ve never actually played any of the DLC for ME2 or ME3 and I’ve...”

Hurray! Yay for Ward! I will happily hear all about his adventures. I'm also surprised you haven't played any of the DLC, though!

Well. Since the depression decided to morph its symptoms a bit, oh, around the time of Thing 2′s existence, I have both had more trouble actually sitting down to complete games, (because I am aware of the time commitment and it is Too Much) and except for a singular JE run, I have stopped replaying games entirely, because see above times two because if I’m trying to make myself do something, maybe something new would be better? So, I played ME2 right after it came out ... and never again after the DLC did. Same re: ME3. (I haven’t seen the extended cut either?) I think there was a little extra wtfery in regards motiviation with ME, honestly, since the original ending was so. You know.

jadesabre301 replied to your post “so I have this sneaking desire to uh … not pick Liara up until last to...”

if it makes you feel better, I really DIDN'T pick up Liara until last on my first playthrough. I somehow missed the fact that that mission was one for picking up a crewmate? I, uh, did Noveria first. And thought "wow, this is an awfully big boss battle to be happening so early, what a lot of buildup about her evilness without any concrete proof." But it's doable!

Also you get to tell Liara "btws killed ur mom sorry about that" whoops.

oh, I know. It’s weirdly hilarious, in a way that you feel vaguely bad about afterwards. ALSO did you know that if you only pick up Wrex (no Garrus) and THEN don’t get Liara pre-Virmire, you literally cannot kill Wrex, (even if you’ve never talked to him and have 0 charm/intimidate) because if you did wouldn’t have enough people to fill out a squad during that whole team/split/salarian/VS dying sequence so he just sort of grouches and stands down on his own. 

:D

jadesabre301 replied to your post “so I’ve never actually played any of the DLC for ME2 or ME3 and I’ve...”

we will HAPPILY keep you accountable via you giving us updates about how Ward (and Jack) are doing /popcorn

also hugs

also I'm surprised I could type all that given that I spent at least five minutes just kind of gaping at the first line of this post like WHAT

WHAT HOW WHAT

I am quite good at appearing way more like a functional adult than I actually am. Video games that have any sort of coherent narrative and progressive difficulty require focus and commitment in order to play them all the way through and this is work.

I mean, it’s good play kinda work, but it requires spoons of a sort I frequently do not have.

darthfruitbasket replied to your post “so I’ve never actually played any of the DLC for ME2 or ME3 and I’ve...”

YES, I'd love to see you blog a bit of it (Boy Scout Dude Sheps are fun)

THANK YOU. I do love him, he deserves the attention, I think. (Mostly because JACK deserves the adoration, y/y?) 

leahazel replied to your post “so I’ve never actually played any of the DLC for ME2 or ME3 and I’ve...”

oh man, I know that flavor of depression, I'm so sorry.

it’s a CRAPPY one, isn’t it?

shadesofmauve replied to your post “so I’ve never actually played any of the DLC for ME2 or ME3 and I’ve...”

*hugs* I'm experiencing the same 'fun is too much effort' phenomenon, but due to fatigue rather than depression. It sucks.

I am very sorry *HUGS*

[cherryofdeath]

A few weeks back I played Mass Effect for the umpteenth time and thought to myself, what if Sheps Space Dad made James join her during the hunt for the Collectors.

If I'm not completely mistaken he went AWOL for too long after Fehl Prime,  something that just won't sit right with me. The Lazarus project starts 2183, the same year as Blood Pack attacks Fehl Prime. And in 2185 CE Shepard is revived while James and his Delta Team fight against the Collectors on Fehl Prime, so instead of going drinking on Omega till ME3 begins, he is forced to join her team.

Like bringing a knife to a gunfight, Chapter 1

Words: 3725

Walking through the pristine space station her green eyes lingered on every small detail. The green trees and blossoming flowers being such a stark contrast to the white and grey of floors and walls. Since the Citadel didn't have a season, just a short day-night-cycle, the flower did undergo their blooming at various stages. Some were already dying and needed to be replanted, other were still trying to set up roots. And some were in full bloom, spreading colour and scent in an otherwise sterile part of the immense space station. There were more splashes of colour in the clothing of the busy people around her, mostly Humans and Asari, but Turians and Salarians as well. Fewer Volus and Elcor than she remembered, but they preferred the lower levels anyway since they weren't Council races. Or whatever reason they may have, the ginger soldier didn't presume to know what was going on. She hadn't been here for two years. Two fucking years! It was a strong enough feeling to make her clench her fists inside the deep pockets of her N7 hoodie. The long chat with Avina had brought her up to speed, a little bit, but she had left Garrus and the Cerberus agents behind to see the Admiral. Who wasn't an Admiral at the moment, not as his main job. No, she had made him the first human counsellor. Over the dead bodies of the previous council, he became a politician when she said so. She couldn't remember if he had wanted to or not. She wasn't sure how much she remembered from ... before ... but she was sure she had hated the impersonal and bureaucratic environment even before her death. One thing was absolutely clear, though, when she read Davids message she just had to come. And so she suffered through the problems on arrival, surprisingly enjoyed talking to Bailey and making him reinstate her status on the Citadel. At least he did understood her need to speed this freakshow up and see her favourite Admiral as soon as possible. Her stomach growled lowly when she entered the lift and she couldn't help but clasp her hands behind her back. A stiff posture, yes, but one that felt to her like a second skin. 

Should she had eaten first? No, Joker was right, she wouldn't have managed to swallow anything - or at least not tasted it, even if she would have managed to eat something from the many vendors in the lower areas. Unconsciously licking her chapped lips she steered her heavy booted feet closer to the human counsellor's office. She felt out of place without her armour and the rhythmical pinch of her M-5 Phalanx against her hip. Without a weapon, she felt naked and like she was missing a limp. Her only other option would have been the 'comfortable' armour Cerberus deemed acceptable on the new Normandy. It was unfamiliar, the colours were off and their stupid logo was literally everywhere! And she would not, never, meet Anderson with a damn Cerberus armour on! In the beginning of the hallway towards the offices was a small desk with an asari secretary of some sorts and a turian talking to a human. Shepard wouldn't have minded any of those three, but seeing that the turian was actually a female her eyes lingered a few moments longer on her lean physique. She had gotten used to Garrus face with time and had deliberately tried to get to know his facial expressions better, but seeing the same now in the slightly different face of a female was interesting. The alien interrupted herself when she felt the stare and greeted her with a slight nod, before leaving the human alone. A bulk of a man watched her leave, a slight smirk in the corner of his wide mouth and then a shocked expression on his face, forming between his eyebrows first but soon making him tear open his eyes. His dark hair was in a mohawk and she could see a tattoo on his neck, even from afar. But mostly she could see muscles, muscles and even more muscles. It made her miss the gym, even though she was literally back from the dead, she felt lazy in comparison to him. He had recognized her. This exact moment was something the redhead had seen too often in other humans. She dragged the big black hood further into her face, hiding her wild hair that had been partly visible. People behaved completely normal than they recognized her and acted … different. Starstruck like Conrad Verner. Or passive aggressive like al-Jilani. Sometimes even both and everything in between. So she just walked past them, ignoring the helpless objections from the secretary and his gasping, but silent, mouth. “Sorry, but, Miss...” the secretary tried again, but Shepard had already reached the door and it slid open without so much as an introduction. “That was Commander Shepard” she could hear the grunt mutter before the door closed and she focused on Anderson, barely hiding her gloomy mood. Seeing him changed that and she felt a smile creeping into her features if she wanted to or not. “Shepard! Welcome back to the ranks of the living. I wasn't sure if you got my message.” Anderson greeted her and lay both his hands on her shoulders, giving her a good look over before drawing her slowly into his arms. Sliding the hood out of the way, they hugged for a long moment, both confident in the fact alone that they had found each other again. “It's been a long time, Anderson” she whispered, taking a step back and starting to smile. “You wouldn't believe. Making me the counsellor and not helping me once.” The dark skinned man tried a joke while turning around and offering her a seat. His face seemed so much younger when he smiled, that she refrained from commenting. There were a few more grey hairs on his temples and he seemed to fill out the official clothing a bit more, but besides that, he was still her Admiral. When he offered her a glass of some fancy brandy from earth, she accepted and waited silently for the things to come. “It is good to see you, even though I would have hoped the other council members would have been here, too. Unfortunately, they rarely listen to me. Sometimes I wonder if Udina would have been the better choice for this.” “What? Don't be ridiculous. He is a stupid, greedy ass and I only trust him as far as I can throw him!” Shepard interrupted the sad conversation with an angry huff. “Scratch that. I can probably throw him farther than I trust him.” She leaned backward, her glass still in her hand and sighed annoyed. A breeze came through the open space behind Anderson, carrying the smell of grass and flowers over the balcony and into the office. It was an irritating sweetness in such a burdened conversation and Shepard nipped at her brandy, just to get rid of it. “I know you, you get shit done. And don't let anybody tell you, you have to work on your people skills. They are fine! It's just that those idiots can't handle the truth.” “Thanks for the vote of confidence. I see you haven't lost your … let's call it colourful way of expressing yourself.” Anderson actually chuckled, her harsh word long forgotten. “To be honest, they veto me in nearly everything and I think they just do it out of spite. They think we humans reach too high too fast and plotted to get the old council killed. Just be careful when you walk through the lower levels, we have issued an official warning to other humans to not go alone and be careful. The public opinion is not turning around anytime soon.” With a dismissive flick of her tongue, Shepard nearly emptied her glass and put it back on the table. She could have talked for hours about the few sentenced that Anderson offered, about what it meant, about what was wrong about it and about what she had initially meant, when she ordered the forces to concentrate on actually killing the reaper and not rescuing the Destiny Ascension. It didn't matter in the end. Anderson had heard all her arguments already and she feared she wouldn't stop if she began yet another rant. “I can take care of myself.” She said with a wink and just watched him for a few moments. “I'm still not clear why you wanted me here?” The former Admiral stood up now and slowly marched back and forth, his hands behind his back and no way to hide his military upbringing. “There has been a lot of talk since you came back. Some of what I heard is, frankly, a little bit disturbing. I wanted to give you a chance to explain your actions. Maybe get the council to see the things from your point of view. But they refused to see you. You let the precious council die during Sovereigns attack on the citadel, they feel you'll always put human interests before galactic concerns. Rumours that you are working with Cerberus haven't helped. What <b>are</b> you doing out there?” “They wouldn't understand.” Her short answer came fast and without thinking, even though she tried to put her feelings aside and state things more clearly. “Anderson, I need you to hear me on this. I am not working for Cerberus. They revived me without my permission, without me even knowing! I was dead. Dead! The Alliance left me out there, floating over Alchera with a dead ship and a dead crew. No one believed me back then and I start to believe they don't now, either.” She had to take a deep breath and nipped from her brandy again to give herself time to regain control. “The brass had me sweeping some stupid outskirts, while the reapers are out there, preparing and planning to wipe out this whole thankless stinkhole of a galaxy. And what are you doing now? Where are the forces helping the human colonies? Investigating how whole planets full of our people go silent!?” She tried, she really tried to stay calm and objective, to make him see what she knew to be a certain truth. Unfortunately, as always, her passion got in the way and made her blood boil while she nearly begged for him to understand. Her shaking fist nearly punched his desk instead she walked it off and got herself back under control. She wasn't angry with him, not personally. Silence settled between them like a thick fog that neither could penetrate and they both ended up leaning on the balustrade of the balcony, drinking in the view. “I know you, Shepard. I know you wouldn't consider Cerberus an option without a damn good reason. Something more is going on here!” “It's the collectors. They are abducting the colonists, I don't know how or why. But I know they do it for the reapers. I have assembled some data, some security vids and even the report of an eyewitness. Please, just have a look at it.” Her hand slowly unclenched from making a fist and she reached into a hidden pocket in her bra, Miranda would go crazy if she knew that Shepard managed to sneak a copy from under her steel blue eyes. “The collectors!? I knew it! With your data we can confirm our Intel! If they are a front for the reapers, this is big.” He accepted the small data chip and nodded faithful – and in this instance, she knew he believed her. She hadn't felt the pressure to be that much before, but now, knowing he was on her side again, she felt lighter and less alone. Admiral David Anderson, the one and only, once more a trusted friend and moral compass. She had missed him, even though she was back only for a few weeks. It must have been so much harder for him. Being on her funeral. Knowing that the rest of the council wouldn't take her seriously his opinion of her was worth everything. “The counsellors have convinced themselves that Sovereign was just a Geth ship, just Sarens vessel. I can try showing them your data, but I honestly doubt they will do anything about it. Even if they believe it now, it's just a human problem for them.” His shoulder touched her and they both lingered on that thought while they watched two Salarians cross the pond underneath them, strolling over the bridge and past the statue of a krogan warrior. “We both know the truth. And I have spent two years fighting them. The VI on Ilos shut itself down. No one except you and your crew has spoken to Sovereign. Everyone thinks Saren made the Reapers up to make the Geth follow him... But at least I can do something against the Collectors.” Anderson whispered with determination. “Blind racist morons!” “Yes, yes they are. It is up to you to stop the Reapers. But I can help. And I will.” He pushed himself away from the idyllic scene beneath the balustrade and walk over to his desk, pressing some button on his screen. “I will reinstate you as a spectre. Which won't make me win any Miss Universe pageants, but that's your job anyway. At least you'll have access to a few nice toys.” He didn't wait to see her nod, already assuming that she didn't care for the title itself, but saw the benefits in it. Just as he did. A few moments later the door opened again and the male soldier walked in. Standing in the middle of the room he looked at an uncertain point on the other side of the citadel, his posture perfect and his salute brisk and efficient. “Admiral.” He turned a little in her direction and saluted as perfectly as before. “Commander.” She felt the twitch in her arm to do so herself but she didn't and went for a firm nod instead. “At ease Lieutenant Commander.” Anderson looked between them both. “Shepard, this is Lieutenant Commander James Vega. He'll join you...” His beginning speech about the need of a good soldier on her side was interrupted by two surprised “What?” and both Shepard and Vega looked at him with the same dumbfounded expression. If he didn't know better he would have chuckled now. Probably embarrass them both with it, too. So he instead sat down behind his desk and waited. Shepard glanced towards the young soldier, given, he looked like he could handle himself out there. But … But what? It dawned on her that she put her favourite Admiral in an unforgiving position, he couldn't leave his office, couldn't ran away to the stars with her. The other council members already thought bad about humankind, if he would give up now to chase something they didn't acknowledge at all it would harm their image far more. So he chose someone for her, helped her in a way he couldn't do personally. It made sense she decided after a few minutes silence. And still she had hoped, just a little bit, that he would join her. Someone that experienced, calm and politically skilled would make her life so much easier. After another long look at the Admiral she nodded merely. No need to discuss it further.. “Thank you, David. I'll take good care of him.” She could see understanding in her superiors face and relief as well, a big portion of it. Which made her curious and she turned around to once again, take a look at her newest team member. She nearly snickered thinking about Mirandas face, when she'd learn about that. Or Jacob, poor little Jacob, trying to twist her around his finger – he would see James as competition. Hopefully the human hulk was prepared for that, broad shoulders yes or no, but the pressure was immense. It must felt strange to be talked about as if not in the room, the redhead thought and watched him desperately trying to not look at her. With a smirk she stepped in front of him, positively surprised to be just an inch or two shorter than him. She still felt like a dwarf in comparison, his immense shoulders and massive arms made her feel tiny! Crooking her hip and crossing her arms in front of her chest she allowed herself the liberty of taking a closer look. The scar on his lips was accompanied by another above his nose and his eyes weren't so much brown as more of a caramel tone which matched his tanned skin. He projected raw power and her first guess was, that he was a soldier through and through. His pure force would be very useful on missions and his three-day bearded face was easy on the eye. His tattoo was hidden under a plain white alliance shirt that, honestly, could have been a size bigger. But she understood his need to show off, as he probably spend hours in the gym everyday. “Welcome on the Normandy, Vega!” She said, giving him a wink at his irritated glance and holding out her hand for him to shake. But the flustered soldier in front of her never got the chance to shake it, as the door open once again and Udina strolled in like he owned the damn place. His stiff cloths were impeccable and his fine shoes nearly glistered in the bright light. “Anderson, we need to talk about … Shepard!? What are you doing here?” His eyes went wide, a shiver of distaste openly on his face, paired with shock and the urgent wish to make her go away. For a politician, she thought, he should have his face under better control! “Visiting my dear old friend. And before I hear one word about me or any political shitstorm you think I caused, why don't you just leave and have a coffee or cyanide somewhere else?” Her sarcastic voice left no room for interpretation and she ignored Andersons resigned frown and Vegas shocked stare. The very second she could see Udina opening his mouth she interrupted him yet again. “Counsellor Anderson is busy at the moment. Please just leave!” All three Alliance soldiers waited in utter silence till the grey haired man left the office mumbling something about having a good day before two of them started laughing. Vega, still not sure how someone could muster the guts to talk to him like that, swallowed audibly and watched Shepard and Anderson try to regain some form of seriousness. “You know I'll have to smooch things over now, right?” The older man moaned but she just padded him on his shoulder with a happy smirk. “Let me know if you need help with him. I know this is not how you planned your retirement, but trust me, I need you here. Keep talking to them, even if it feels like you're banging your head against the wall.” Shepard looked up into his eyes and waited till he finally nodded, making sure he understood. “I better go.” “Of course Shepard. I am sorry I can't do more for you. I am too old to race across the galaxy with you, but if you ever want to talk, I'm here. Just ... do me a favour ... be careful out there!” Once again he put his hand on her shoulder, leaning forward in a kind of side hug that lasted a few seconds but still wasn't long enough for her taste. With a nod and a sigh, she turned around and left without another word or glance backward. Unsure what he was supposed to do James waited a few seconds. His new assignment was … huge. The Normandy! Shepard! He would be serving under Commander Shepard. Or better yet, Spectre Shepard. He wasn't sure if she still was part of the Alliance and his eyes panned back to Anderson. “Yes, Lieutenant?” The older man had probably seen it on his face and waited patiently for the younger one to clear his thoughts and ask his questions. “What is expected of me?” James asked, longing to get the specifications of this assignment. “Good question. You are to accompany her, wherever, whenever. If she so much as sneezes, I want a report. If she finds out anything about the Collectors, the Reapers or what other enemies she makes out there, you'll tell me and only me.” James let those words linger in his ears till he finally nodded, he could do that. “Sir, permission to speak freely?” Anderson was the one nodding now and the young marine allowed himself to pace a few steps back and forth. “Is this an official assignment?” “No, you're on shore leave. Which is not uncommon after what you went through on Fehl Prime. Bringing us the data, against all odds, was a brave thing. You made a decision and you will learn to live with it. Shepard can help you with that, try to learn something from her, son. And, above all else, with her, you'll get the chance to kick those insects back where they came from.” Anderson turned towards him, watching him with his dark and calm eyes till James had fully understood. “I will make sure that your career is not compromised. I need someone I can trust with her, keep her safe. We can't lose her again!” Ignoring the rattling sound of his dog tags underneath his shirt James straightened up and positioned himself in a perfect parade rest. He saluted, even though this whole meeting was way more informal than he had ever anticipated. Hell, he had never thought the human counsellor could even be like that, he instantly wished there was time to grab a beer and listen to him tell stories about his active time in service. “Sir, yes, Sir” he bellowed and waited for his signal to be allowed to leave the room.