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🎧 New Podcast Episode: Midsommar
After a little unplanned hiatus, we're back with Part 2 of our Halloween crossover event! And, well, Carver and I really put the 'cult' in Popculty with this one, because we are talking Midsommar! (one film by a straight white guy we maybe actually liked??)
In this episode:
Final Girls
exploring grief through horror
good for her (?)
the dark history of dance marathons
Florence Pugh supremacy
Because Flo said, "It's the Year of Dani, bbs" and we mere mortal podcasters follow our May Queen! 🙌🌻👑
Listen now 🎧
Or read the interactive transcript below 👇
SJ: All right, Carver, the time has come-- Gonna talk about Midsommar. There's, like, no summary for this movie. [both laugh] Like, nothing happens! I don't know what to tell you listeners, if you haven't seen it. But basically, it's about Florence Pugh's character, Dani, who has just suffered an incredible loss. She has just lost her sister and her parents to a murder-suicide situation, that's, right off the bat, very intense, very triggering. I would say that's a big trigger warning. She is grieving that, and she has the shittiest boyfriend in the world. Oh my God, Christian suuuuuuuucks.
Carver: Mm-hmm. [laughs]
SJ: He just wants her to get over it and be fine. And he and his friends, who are all working on their masters project, want to go to Sweden to study this, basically, cult-- this commune in rural Sweden at the peak of summer, for the summer solstice. They have this whole ritual and all these customs that this group of college students wants to go and study, and Dani decides to tag along, and...weird shit ensues! [both laugh] That is Midsommar. Like I say, trigger warnings definitely for suicide...um, group sex with a girl of questionable age, I will say...
Carver: Mhm.
SJ: What else? Lots of suicide. Very unpleasant, very unsettling scenes of suicide. Can't emphasize that enough.
Carver: Yes.
SJ: Anything you wanted to add to that?
Carver: That's mostly it. Uh, I mean, also the ableism that we were talking about in Hereditary? Just go ahead and dial that up to eleven.
SJ: Oh, yeah. However, contrary to Hereditary, I really love this movie. I watched it for the first time in theaters and I was like, "Huh. That was interesting. What did I just watch?" It's like two and a half hours of a Swedish folk festival with very disturbing undercurrents. I went for Florence Pugh, which, I mean-- the Pugh in this movie is off the charts amazing. I basically went for her because I had seen her in her first movie, Lady Macbeth. Didn't know what I was getting into. Came away just being like, "I think I liked it ? But I didn't get it at all." And I recently rewatched it at the beginning of this year after I had suffered a loss. And I, for some reason found myself drawn to rewatch this movie. And I have to say it was so cathartic. It really felt like being held in my grief. So that's why I messaged you after I watched it, because I just felt like I finally understood the movie and I appreciated what it had done for me through that viewing experience. That's why I suggested it and why I kind of just, on a whim, was like, "Let's talk about Midsommar. I don't care if it's directed by a white guy!" Because it really moved me. They say what you come to a movie with often affects what you get out of the movie. And I very much had that experience with Midsommar. So that's sort of my context. It just clicked for me this time. What is your experience with this movie?
Carver: I also saw it in theaters right when it came out. I think I saw it if not opening day, I saw it opening week, because at the time, I was very impressed by Hereditary. I think now it's easy to see it as a drop in the bucket of these think-piece horror films. But at the time that it came out, it was really something that we weren't seeing a ton of. So I had been anticipating this movie. I had seen the trailers. I was ready for it. Um, that opening scene, as someone who has witnessed suicide attempts by loved ones, was so hard that I nearly left. At the scene where you see the sister, I was like, internally, 'Do I get up now and go?' And I think it is a testament to the movie that I did stay and that I was able to enjoy it, even if I was in a state of panic for most of it. Coming back to rewatch it, I didn't realize how adverse I was to rewatching it originally. I actually have been trying to watch this movie every night since you and I recorded last, and I was not able to make myself rewatch it until this morning.
SJ: Oh, really? Oh my god, you watched it this morning?
Carver: Yes.
SJ: Oh no, you didn't have to put yourself through that! I'm sorry!
Carver: I don't even think I realized it. It was just, 'Oh, you know, it's just not the time. It's not the time.' And rewatching it, knowing what happens did make it a lot easier. I think I also was able to notice a lot more in that scene, that really takes the story full circle.
SJ: Yes.
Carver: And I still really enjoy it. All of the elements of grief are there. Uh, the thing that gets to me most is what you were talking about earlier: Christian is such a bad boyfriend.
SJ: He's the worst! But not in a super obvious way, right? Not in the typical way we see abusive boyfriends, but he is so neglectful, does not care about what she's going through. He is surrounded by friends that are pretty shitty too, who are like, "Oh, just break up with her and find someone who actually likes sex." His dude bro friends are the worst, too. And they're just enabling him to be shittier.
Carver: They're also not the type of guys you would normally associate with that behavior. These are PhD students! They're educated, they're woke-- Well, some of them are. Mark is not.
SJ: Oh, yeah. Will Poulter's character. I mean, can he ever play a good guy? I don't think so. With that face?
Carver: He's going to play an idiot. That's the role he is given in this movie, is the idiot or the fool. And that is how I associate him, in film at least.
SJ: Oh, totally. He looks like the mean kid from Toy Story brought to life.
Carver: [laughs] Very Sid. I can see it.
SJ: But yeah, so Christian isn't-- It's a more subtle version of abusive, toxic behavior than we're used to seeing. It's not in your face. It's not like he beats her. It's shittier in a much subtler way, in like a gaslighty way.
Carver: Mm-hmm. In a 'your feelings are your fault and my feelings are your fault...'
SJ: He constantly makes her feel like she's holding him back because she's having a panic attack, or because she's grieving, or because she's the sad girl at the party-- Ugh, that's the worst! I hate that.
Carver: I was discussing with my roommate earlier that I think the kindest thing he could have done would have been to break up with her. Because then at least she would have had that anger to fuel and push her forward in ways that I don't always think grief can do. I think the anger part of the grief cycle is one of the things that, for me at least, will pull me forward and keep the momentum of healing going, because you've got that fire. Whereas grief on its own just feels like something that's pulling you down. And I think you can feel that in Dani's character this whole time. What she needed was just a little bit of fire to get her going.
SJ: Heh. There's some foreshadowing for ya. [Carver chortles] For anyone who feels the same way we do about Christian, I highly recommend and will link in the shownotes, someone on Twitter made a supercut of the movie that's just Dani looking at Christian like he's the shittiest boyfriend in the world, set to Wii music. It's *amazing*. [both laugh] It's the only cut of this movie you really need to see, if you haven't seen it. That's a big thing right off the bat-- He is so unsupportive of her in her grief. And you can tell even in one of those opening scenes where she's just sobbing in his arms and he's just sort of awkwardly holding her, like he just wants this to be over. And then you contrast that to the group wailing scene, which we will talk about more, of course, because it's my favorite. But the contrast between the way those women hold her and the way that he barely holds her is striking.
SJ: I wanted to ask you, because I was trying to think of another horror movie that takes place entirely during the day... Is this the first and only?
Carver: It is not the first. I think another-- as well as just a major influence that Ari Aster has said himself for this movie-- is the Wickerman, which is Folk Horror, this is Folk Horror... They have a lot of the same tropes. But I would say as far as movies that have been made recently, using it this way, where the sun is kind of symbolism-- the light is part of what is being foreshadowed in the opening panel... Because I will say something I noticed watching both of these movies is that Ari Aster loves to tell you everything that's going to happen so early, and then just still somehow surprise you with it at the end.
SJ: Oh, absolutely. I do really appreciate his foreshadowing. One of my favorite images of foreshadowing in film is from Midsommar, and it's that shot of Florence Pugh's character curled up on the bed in a fetal position, facing the wall. The camera makes a slow pan into the room, and above her is this giant painting of a girl with blonde hair, wearing a crown, opposite a large brown bear, holding its face and looking into its eyes. [laughs]
Carver: Mm-hmm.
SJ: If you know how this movie ends, you are both laughing and your jaw is, like, on the ground. It literally tells you how this movie is going to end, but then it just takes you on a ride to get there. It's the kind of movie that I think does benefit from having watched it once before, because then you can pick up on all those little clues he places throughout, which just enhances the viewing for me. Did you find that as well?
Carver: I did. So the first time I watched it, I remembered the bear from that painting. But on this watching, after the May Festival, when she witnesses the event with Christian and the naked women, when she is preparing herself to see that, the position she puts her body in as she leans over to look into the keyhole is the same position that little girl's body is when she looks into the bear's face in that painting.
SJ: [gasp] Right!
Carver: And her body language is so intentional when she makes that motion that it's just so clear to me that that was absolutely on purpose.
SJ: Oh, yeah. Again, Aster is very intentional with every shot of his films. I think you see that really clearly in this one. If anything, it's even more intricate and detailed than Hereditary. It simultaneously feels like basically we're just on Florence Pugh's face for two and a half hours, as she's experiencing whatever the fuck this is. So, in some ways, it feels almost like a documentary. But it also is a meticulously thought-out and staged film. There's so much symbolism, it's *so* precise in its imagery...
Carver: There are all those paintings on the walls in the room that they sleep in. And again, on this watching, I noticed that the mural above Christian's bed is the ritual that he takes part in later, with all of the women and the two in the middle.
SJ: Yeah, it is.
Carver: And I know all of that was hand-painted. All of those sets and things, hand painted. All of the clothes were embroidered. And actually, I was listening to something today-- They were trying to hire people from the area where they were shooting, so all of those clothes were designed and sewn by a Scandinavian woman. And it's very clear that those are so artfully designed and thoughtfully done.
SJ: It really comes through. Those sets do not feel like a typical Hollywood set. They feel like they were built by the people who lived there. There is just something very different about them. And the clothes do feel like they were hand-stitched, handmade, hand-dyed. I think it adds more of a natural feel. You don't feel like you're watching a Hollywood movie.
Carver: It's so polished, but it's also such a world that feels lived-in. There are these dramatic cuts, these swipes, there is this editing that is so hands-on, so purposeful, to bring you these emotions. Whereas the situations they're in, as extreme as they are, I think most people can relate to a time they've felt this way or that way. And I think anyone who's been through a bad breakup feels for Dani in this.
SJ: [stifling a laugh] A lot of people online are like, "Take your worst ex to this movie." [both laugh] I mean, I think we have to talk about the Florence Pugh of it all.
Carver: Oh, yeah.
SJ: Because she *carries this movie*. This would not have worked without her, I really, truly feel. Like, I'm trying to imagine any other actress of the same age in that role, and I just don't think it would have compelled me the way she compels me. I go off about her a little bit in my Black Widow episode-- We both love her, she's incredible, and she's such a naturalistic actor. She has no formal training, so she just kind of shows up and embodies the character, and she reacts the way that an actual person would. She's never thinking ahead to what the other actor's next line is going to be. She is so organic. I don't think there's any other style of acting that could have worked for this role. You really have to have that. And I can't think of anyone else like her that could have pulled that off. So I really just have to say, this is a masterclass in acting-- not even acting, it's like a masterclass in *being*-- from Florence Pugh. It is peak Frowny Face Florence Pugh. [Carver laughs] I think the regular cut is almost 3 hours long, and didn't have time, but I still want to watch the director's cut, which is like another half hour. This movie is ostensibly so long, and yet it goes by so quickly for me because I'm just mesmerized, really, by her and her performance. She just guides you through, as the viewer. This should be so boring, like, nothing happens! But I'm just riveted by her.
Carver: She has the exact opposite issue that we had with Charlie in Hereditary, where all of the emotions with that character were at arm's length, whereas there isn't a moment in this film where you aren't feeling what Dani is. And I mean, all of that has to do with The Florence Pout. [both laugh] But there are just so many instances that are great in this, even when she acts slightly out of character to what we know of her. Like when the group that came with Pele's friend have left, and she says, "You know, Simon left without Connie." And Christian's like, "Oh, that's so terrible, that's so terrible." And she's like, "I could see you doing something like that." [laughs] And I was like...
SJ: Yes! It's such a relatively tame line, but savage for her.
Carver: Oh, absolutely! And he takes it that way. She always has kid gloves on with him. Everything is her fault, every issue in the relationship she sees as her contribution, when she has this person who is effectively using those insecurities to manipulate her, when he doesn't know what he wants. They say in the beginning, "You need to get off the fence with this"--
SJ: Mhm.
Carver: And he refuses to.
SJ: He drags her along, and you see how it drags her down. Like you said, it would have been a relief if he would just fucking break up with her. But he won't even give her that, and it's so selfish of him, because he doesn't know what he wants, but he's going to hold onto her anyway. And from the opening scene of this movie to the closing, you just feel for her all the way. You feel exactly what she's feeling. It's such a testament to the remarkable performance she gives. Because like I said, I just don't see this movie working nearly as well with literally anyone else I can imagine in the role. I mean, even the most accomplished Oscar-winning actors-- it would be too untrue, too formulaic. It would be something we've already seen them do before. But she brings this freshness that really grounds the film. So, genuinely, I have to give her like 90% of the credit for this movie working for me.
Carver: Absolutely. Yes, there are so many wonderful things about this movie, all of the purposeful things that Ari Aster does. But that would all fall flat if you didn't have this person that was able to just grab your audience and push the emotion in their face. And I think she does that no matter what she's given. I do think the movie I was telling you about, Fighting with My Family is one of the silliest things I've seen her in...
SJ: Yeah, for sure. But she has the range, right?
Carver: My roommate and I were *crying* when she gets to go to Monday Night Raw! [both laughing] The culmination of that movie, when she is getting to be a professional wrestler-- Sobs in my living room! Just because we care so much about what happens to her. And again, it's because she is so good at what she does.
SJ: Absolutely. I've seen her in literally every genre and she just kills it in everything. And I can't remember the last time I saw someone that young do what she's doing. I mean, she's 26 years old, and in just the past five years or so, she has created a body of work on film-- and in television-- that tops most actors who have been working for decades. She just elevates everything that she's in. And even beyond her talent, I'm just really impressed by how discerning she is with the projects she does and how many women directors she's already worked with, in her very short career. That's actually depressingly rare for actors of any gender to have that awareness of gender equity behind the camera. [sigh] I could talk about Florence Pugh all day. How much time you got? [both laugh]
Carver: I know this is sort of a controversial topic around this movie... Do you consider this to be a Good for Her film?
SJ: Oh, my gosh, [nervous chuckle] That is so complicated... So, yeah, when everyone was watching this movie, I would say like 70% of the takes online were a variation of the Good for Her meme, right? Viewing this as a female empowerment film. Um... [laughs] Okay. That, to me, is-- Are you familiar with the Broke, Woke, Bespoke meme?
Carver: Somewhat...?
SJ: It has variations. Like, Galaxy Brain is another variation.
Carver: Okay.
SJ: Basically, you have levels of takes, and you start with your most basic take, and then you sort of elevate to the 'Galaxy Brain' or 'Bespoke' take. If I'm applying that to this movie, the reactions that I've seen are, like, 'Broke'-- which is "Good for Her"-- and that's just your base-level, knee-jerk sort of response, not thinking about it too deeply, kind of thing. And sure-- Is it satisfying to watch her burn her shitty ex-boyfriend alive in a bear costume? Yes. [Carver chuckles] Not gonna lie. And the way that she's literally crowned a queen, and it's like the movie is saying, "She was a queen all along and you should have treated her like one, asshole." There's definitely a satisfying element to the end. But, uh, does anyone really believe that Dani is in a healthy place, physically or emotionally, by the end of the movie? You know, to me, that ending is symbolic, the fire is symbolic. This movie is not actually suggesting or approving that you burn your ex alive as a legitimate form of closure. I understand the Good for Her take, but let's think a little deeper about it.
Carver: Yeah.
SJ: I might agree in passing, I might retweet a Good for Her meme. But no, if I'm thinking about it critically, not at all. She's achieved freedom in some sense, but I don't think the movie is suggesting that it's healthy or actually good for her in any way. I think she's just traded one form of abuse for another. And I think a lot of people miss that.
Carver: Yeah.
SJ: The other take that people have-- it's like a more woke take, this would be the next level-- is that, 'Oh, this is a movie that's condoning cults! This is cult propaganda. Wake up, sheeple!' You know? But I think the way the cult is portrayed is kind of a warning to us. They have all this rhetoric that sounds really good, but then it's all proven to be empty or false. So I prefer the Bespoke take, which is viewing this movie as like a PSA for how cults prey upon emotionally, or in other ways, vulnerable people. That's exactly where we find Dani in the beginning of this movie. She is prime cult bait. You know, so I don't see it as this healthy evolution for her. I see it as an evolution of sorts-- healthier in some ways, but... I mean, how do you feel about the end message?
Carver: I think a Good for Her message is complicated for me, because we've talked a bit about how much we hate Christian, he's a terrible boyfriend. Also, if you think critically about what has happened to him-- how he is given a drug he doesn't really want to take and put in a position that he doesn't necessarily want to be in and doesn't have the faculty to fully consent to, and then he's burnt alive for it-- I don't love that being how one of the first major depictions of a male survivor is shown.
SJ: Sure.
Carver: Also, I, uh, think it's easy to see it as a Good for Her if you think of it in the context of the beginning of the film to when the credits roll. But the moment you think of what this character is going to go through when the credits start to roll, when the movie is over...
SJ: Mhm...
Carver: How does she get home? They have said that they bring in new people to expand their gene pool. And so, at least in my mind, forced impregnation is in the future for Dani. I think the real terror for that character starts when the movie ends.
SJ: I would agree. And, you know, that's a pretty unsettling place to come away from. So I think a lot of people just sort of gloss over it and they'd rather see the female empowerment piece of it, but it's true-- Let's think about this. Practically speaking, what would the next scene be in that movie, if it didn't cut to black? I mean... it's not gonna be all sunshine and roses forever.
Carver: Yeah.
SJ: Florence Pugh was on a recent episode of the Off Menu podcast, and she shared some really interesting insights about Dani and the experience of playing her-- a lot of which I think echo our thoughts.
Male host: What do you think happens to her (Dani)?
Florence Pugh: So, she's had a psychotic break. That's what's happened. When she sees her boyfriend having, um, that orgy in the temple, I think that's like one of the last things that she can probably deal with. And I think through the mushroom trip and the this trip and the that trip... I think when everything starts-- for example, when she's on the throne with her flower dress and she's given the choice to either choose her boyfriend or the other sacrifice-- I always took it as like, she was kind of gone by that point, after all the pampering and the weirdness and the oddities of what was happening. So when she looks at him, I never thought she looked at him to kill him. I thought it was more of like, she was in a different place. She was in a different-- She wasn't her anymore. And she almost looks at him as if she's getting that recognition. She knows that it's someone she loves, and she knows that it's someone that's hurt her. So that whole zoom-in, for me, was her processing deep, deep from wherever it is that she's got lost to, that that is someone who has hurt her. And then it snaps, and then he's been chosen. So I always thought that she survived. I don't think she's probably ever going to come back, because to come back from a psychotic break, you have to have deep, deep treatment and work that obviously those people don't have--
Male Host: Yeah, they're not offering that.
Florence Pugh: No, they're not offering that. But I do think that they care for her, and I do think she's-- in a weird, twisted, horrible way-- she's in a place that people actually want her to be there. And I do think she will be getting respect and love, in a weird way, there. I don't think she's ever coming back from this break... It's funny, when I did it, I was so, um, wrapped up in her-- and I've never had this ever before with any of my characters-- I was so wrapped up in her that when I was making the movie, there were so many places that I had to go to, because I'd never played someone who was in that much pain before. And I would put myself in really shit situations that other actors maybe don't need to. do. But I would just be imagining the worst things... Because each day the content would be getting weirder and harder to do, I was putting things in my head that were just getting worse and more bleak. And I think by the end, I had, uh, probably most definitely abused my own self in order to get that performance. And when I left the shoot, they still had three days left to shoot, because I was off to Boston, to go and shoot Little Women literally straight away...
Male Host: [laughs increduously]
Florence Pugh: [with a weak laugh] I know. And I remember when I left, I said goodbye to everyone. And, um... when I was in the plane, I looked down-- and by that point, I'd traveled so much over the weekends to go and do press for Little Drummer Girl that I knew exactly where the field was when I was in the plane, because I'd follow the road out-- And I remember looking down and feeling immense guilt. Like, I felt so guilty, because I felt like I'd left her in that field, in that state.
Male Host: Wow.
Florence Pugh: And it was so weird. I've never had that before. I've always thought that all my characters, once I've left them, I'm like, "Yeah, but they'd be fine in the next situation. They know how to handle themselves." And this one I was like, "I've..." And obviously that's probably a psychological thing, where I felt immense guilt of what I'd put myself through, of course. But I definitely felt like I'd left her there in that field to be abused, to be... um, not to-- She can't fend for herself. And it was like I'd created this person, and then I'd just [snaps fingers] left her when I had to go and do another movie.
---
SJ: I would love to talk about race in this movie, because we sort of touched on it in our Hereditary episode... In the pro column, I do appreciate that this movie is using and appropriating the *whitest* possible culture, which, to me, is so refreshing, after the history of horror movies in particular using/co-opting/bastardizing things like indigenous lore and mythology. I mean, almost every movie about a haunted house or a haunted cemetery is based on, 'Oh, it's built near or on an Indian burial ground,' right?
Carver: Yeah.
SJ: So I'm almost okay with this movie being almost entirely white, because it's critiquing a very white culture, and it's not trying to appropriate a non-white culture, like we've seen in the past. Having said that, I think the casting of the few characters of color in this... I think it's a little problematic. What are you going to say?
Carver: Um, I think when you think of, again, the purpose this cult has, of bringing new people in, as they say, to extend the breeding pool, the genetic pool, and when you look around, it is still all white people. You know that they are bringing people of color here, but they are not using them for that. And so, it's hard to ignore that-- I'm going to say that they're a white supremacist cult.
SJ: I would agree. There is definitely a strong element of white purity, because who do they choose to mate with their girl? It's Christian, a white, redhead guy. Like, could not be whiter. The only people of color in this movie are the British couple, who they just kill. They are outsiders who were brought in, but they just use them basically as fertilizer. They don't use them for procreation. So I'm like, absolutely. This is, like, a white purity thing. To me, that works because I don't think the movie is condoning what this cult is doing at all. So we're like, 'okay, yeah, they're kind of an evil cult.' If we were meant to embrace the cult, or if people come away from this movie thinking, 'Actually, they have some good ideas,' that's problematic, because when we scratch the surface, we know that's not true. But I think as long as you're looking at the whole picture, looking at everything this cult is doing, you have a very clear understanding that they're not this utopia that they claim to be. And at the basis of it is this blood purity.
Carver: I do think the thought of bringing Connie and Simon is purposeful on the character of Ingemar. When they're first introduced, he says, "You know, Connie and I went on a date, and they started dating right after." And Connie is like, "We went on *a* date that I didn't *know* was a date." And he's like, "Anyway! And now they're engaged, and I brought them here."
SJ: Ohh, so you think that was payback, for Ingemar?
Carver: I think so. I think it relieved some of his own guilty conscience to be bringing these people, because he saw a slight in some way. And in the end, he volunteers to be one of the sacrifices and burns up there with them.
SJ: Yeah. I hadn't put that together, but I think you're right. The only main character of color is *Josh*, who-- okay, based on that name, I'm really going to assume that Ari Aster wrote the script with all white people, and at the very last minute, one of the producers was like, "You really should have a person of color." So he cast William Jackson Harper at the last minute, just so that people couldn't make the same critique of Midsommar that they do of Hereditary. [laughs] Um, but I have to say, I don't think the colorblind casting in that role works, because I don't think that a Black man, particularly an African American, would go to this other culture and pick it apart the way his white colleagues are doing. That seems like a very white colonialist mentality to have, and you're sort of drag-and-dropping that onto a Black character. That just does not equate to me, because I feel like, with that historical memory, being the descendant of people who were enslaved and who have had their culture appropriated by white people, I don't see how he would then turn around and exploit this culture the way his fellow white students were doing.
Carver: Exploit and also demand access to. Anytime a boundary is set about, "You can go this far, but no further," he is the most anxious to step over that line.
SJ: It's true.
Carver: And I don't think that someone who would have the cultural competence that that character would have, realistically, would do that.
SJ: Totally. Also, his name is Josh. [laughs] I'm sorry, but, like, whitest name ever. I really feel like that character was, at the last minute, cast as a Black person, just to kind of check that diversity box. Doesn't it read that way to you? Because I don't think anything about the character, as is written in the script, has any Black cultural identity or anything. I mean, he acts *just* like his white colleagues, and I just feel like that's Ari Aster doing some last-minute corrections, you know? [laughs]
Carver: I think it's the same as he said how he writes women, is he just puts himself into them. And I think that's very clear with Josh's character. Astor has no understanding of what it would be like to be a person of color, so he's like, "I'll just write you as if you were me!"
SJ: Yep. That's how it reads.
Carver: As much as I love to see that actor in any role-- I'm so happy to see him in anything. I think he also has a great amount of range. I think taking this role was a very smart thing for him to do after a show like The Good Place, because he is a *completely* different character.
SJ: Yes, he is.
Carver: I think he has an eye for creative media. I know if I see him on the cast, there is going to be something interesting about whatever's being made there. So, as much as I want to critique that character, I am always happy to see him working.
SJ: Always happy to see Chidi! Yep. [both laugh]
Things I like about this movie? Equal opportunity nudity-- That's rare! We get just as much schlong as we do full-frontal naked ladies. I also appreciate that there is a sense of humor running throughout this movie. A lot of people have this idea of it being a very self-serious sort of douer movie. But there are scenes that make me *laugh out loud*. The foreshadowing painting is one, but also the end scene-- [Carver chortles] where she's in this giant flower dress, running and stumbling and tripping on it. And she's crying and sobbing and puking-- I laugh so hard. [laughing] And I think it's meant to be funny. Ari Aster has said in interviews that he intended for a lot of this to be, like, absurd. He said one of the funniest things to him is master's students arguing over their theses. So I think there is an intentional beat of humor running throughout that I appreciate.
But also, like I mentioned, I think this is a really-- this and Hereditary, in a different way-- but this movie in particular I think is such a good portrayal of the stages of grief. Particularly the loneliness of grief, you know, how alone Dani feels in mourning, when everyone around her just wants her to get over it and be fine. Of course, the film presents this alternative to that in the form of the cult, which demonstrates this idea of collective feeling and radical empathy. Whenever one member feels pain-- or pleasure for that matter-- they all experience it together as if it was their own. That's a very appealing thing for Dani in the place she's at-- Again, a very vulnerable person, the cult is appealing to what she wants most... And I have to say, the wailing scene, where she's finally letting it all out-- the rage and the grief and the betrayal-- everything that she's feeling, on the floor, on her hands and knees, just *sobbing*, snot and tears dripping down her face. And every other woman in that cult is there on the floor with her, sobbing and screaming together in this one, moving mass...
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SJ: It's such a powerful scene, I have to say. Both times I watched it, I felt it viscerally, and it was really cathartic. Also, just-- can you imagine filming that scene?? [both laugh] The lack of self consciousness you would have to have, because it's just so raw. I think for Dani it is the turning point in the film, because for the first time she's being held by people in the way that she needs to be held-- in the way that Christian couldn't, in the way that she probably didn't feel held by her family. Yeah, I think that's really her turning point. And it's, to me, probably the most powerful scene.
Carver: I absolutely agree with you there. The line I think of most often is Pele asking, "Do you feel held by him?" And I do think that is a question that in relationships we aren't told to ask. And so much of the success of things like that comes down to something so simple: 'Do you feel held? Do you feel that there is someone there to catch you when you need caught?' And I think that is the nail in the coffin of many relationships, is when you realize that you don't.
SJ: That was a line that stuck out to me, too. She sort of gets her answer in that scene: 'No, I have not felt held, that's why I need this.' And I think that's when she, consciously or unconsciously, makes the decision to stay with these people, for at least a period of time. I think a lot of it has to do with the way that American culture likes to isolate people who are grieving. We don't talk about death, and we certainly don't talk about suicide. So she's dealing with all of this on her own. And I really think the cult is speaking to the weakness in the way that Western culture deals with(/doesn't talk about) these things like death and suicide and grief. They are filling that need for her.
Carver: Yeah, they're showing her another way. You know, I think before, she couldn't imagine a world where she really felt held in that way. I think Dani was put in the position of being the one holding. And so, it really is the first time that she feels that other people are even just relating to her, besides Pele who is the first person to really even say, "Sorry for your loss."
SJ: Yeah. We talked in our mental health series-- my guest Megan, who's a social worker, was talking-- about how this really is a shortcoming of Western culture. It's this individualistic, sort of 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' mentality that makes us feel so alone when we're feeling any type of extreme emotion. We're taught to just figure it out on our own, deal with it ourselves, carry our own water. And the cult, to me, represents more of, like, the Eastern cultural mentality, which is more of a collective, and 'we do things together.' This is something that came up in another episode we did on The Farewell, which is about how no one dies alone, no one grieves alone, we're all in this together. It's about the community, it's about the family unit, it's never about the individual person. So I think that's something we can think about and take as a critique from this movie about our individualistic American culture, which wants to deny these things and make people feel so isolated when they're in the worst emotional places in their lives.
Carver: We're a society that sees asking for help as a shortcoming. The fact that you need help in any way means that you're less than the people who don't ask for it. I mean, in our culture, even mental health is still so stigmatized that going to see a therapist is barely a part of the norm. And most people who need therapy won't seek it.
SJ: Right. That was a big impetus for doing the mental health series. So, oddly enough, I think this movie sort of piggybacks nicely on some of those themes.
Carver: Absolutely.
SJ: For me, another standout scene, other than the wailing, I think my other favorite scene is [chuckling] the dance-off?
Carver: Mhm!
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SJ: 'Dance 'til you physically collapse' has got to be one of the most underused horror scenarios. But it got me thinking about the history of dance marathons, which is actually kind of dark and fucked up. The origin in the U.S.? It began in the Great Depression, as a means of survival for people who were otherwise literally starving. Atlas Obscura had a really interesting article on it recently, and they wrote: "In the thick of the Great Depression, the perverse entertainment racket of America's dance marathon craze was, to some, a survival strategy. Because dancing in a marathon didn't just mean the possibility of a cash prize, it meant being fed and sheltered for the duration of the contest." So I thought that was an interesting, equally dark parallel for what Dani is doing here, which is also probably dancing for her life, whether she realizes it or not at the time. Going back much further in a more global context, you also had these medieval dancing plagues. People would just start dancing, and they'd dance for days and days and days. And at the time, people thought it was demonic possession. Now they say that it was probably ergotism, it was a type of food poisoning, and basically these people were tripping--
Carver: Mhm. Bad bread.
SJ: --which, side note, was also what they think caused the Salem witch hysteria.
Carver: Mhm!
SJ: Atlas Obscura also does a podcast, and they had just done this episode that I had listened to right before I re-watched Midsommar, about the Harga, which is what this dance thing is...
Atlas Obscura female host: I'm standing at the top of a mountain in northern Sweden, and I'm looking at a ring in the rock. It's polished down into the stone almost like hundreds of feet did hundreds of laps around this circle and pounded the ground until it became smooth. According to a famous Swedish legend, that is exactly what happened. A group of doomed teenagers followed the devil to the top of this mountain. And as they danced circle after circle and wore their bones down against the rock, the devil sat in a nearby tree, watching them dance to their deaths, playing his violin... [creepy violin music]
SJ: So, that dance scene is based on this real legend, and I thought it was interesting the way they incorporated it. Those are just some of the contextual things I was thinking of when I watched this movie the second time around. The first time I watched it, I was like, "Oh, they're dancing! This is fun. It's all bright and cheery." But they're drugged! It is sort of like an LSD haze for Dani. Then you start thinking, 'Okay, what if she wins? What does she actually win? What does that entail?' And you just get this sinking feeling of like, 'I don't think winning this is going to be a good thing for her.' And of course, as we've said, it probably isn't.
Carver: To my viewing, it's the moment that really solidifies Dani's relationship with the cult. There are moments in that dance where she looks out at Christian and is afraid. And then she looks at the girl who pulled her into the dance and sees the joy that she's experiencing, and mirrors that feeling the same way that later they will all mirror her feeling. So I think that dance is her really crossing cultures and becoming one of them. That may be cemented later on, but I don't think that she would have done that willingly if it weren't for the way that she felt so included with those women, in a way that she was never included with the people who were already in her life.
SJ: Also, it's just like, really nice to see her smile for the first time in the entire fucking movie! [laughs]
Carver: Truly a relief!
SJ: Honestly. I was just so glad to see a smile on her face. For once, she looked like she was enjoying herself, for at least part of it-- even though she's drugged out of her mind. [laughs] But it is like the only moment of joy in this movie, for which she has just been bereft.
Carver: One other thing that I noticed, sort of tying these two films together-- which I don't always like to do. I personally like that Ari Aster made a movie and then wasn't forced to make a franchise. Which is, I feel like a lot of what's happening now, and there's a lot of pressure for people to find the connection and to put these movies in the same world. I think they're absolutely spiritual siblings--
SJ: Sure.
Carver: --but I don't think that they should be read as happening simultaneously. It is a different world that Hereditary and Midsommar take place in. But they do both focus around this theme of holding in and releasing grief, and I think that is an interesting place to draw fear from. I don't think it is usually grief we are focusing on when we're talking about our fears, when grief is such a huge part of it. I feel like anxiety is the culmination of fear and grief. And it's something that our generation-- and of course, generations before us-- were very vocal about the way that we experience that.
SJ: I have to say, I really love the end scene. I felt like such a cathartic culmination of everything, and the way that it's constructed is so effective. I mentioned the scene where the building with her boyfriend is up in flames in the background, and in the foreground, she's stumbling over this dress, and crying and puking. And I have to laugh, but that is like the final purging for her of those emotions that she's been carrying. Because then she looks around and sees everyone around her-- all the people in the cult-- are also screaming and crying and puking and wailing. And you can see the moment the burden of feeling like she has to carry all of that by herself is lifted. You watch the anguish on her face morphing into relief and a kind of joy, and you see her arrive finally at a sense of peace. The burning building crumbles into the flames, superimposed over a close-up of her face, going through this transformation. And she smiles because she's been released of her grief, of her shitty boyfriend who was never there for her, maybe even of the anxiety and the burden of having a sister who is suicidal and having to constantly worry-- There's some relief there. And there's a release of being constrained by American societal pressures. She has, for better and worse, a new family of sorts that will give her what she desperately needs, which is to be seen and held with no constraints.
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And I felt that sense of catharsis with my own grief as well. Watching it, I felt like I had gone through the wringer with her and then kind of come out the other side, almost being exorcised of my grief. With that final scene, I just felt like I could [exhales] let it go, in a way. And that was really helpful for me. So, going into this movie in that profound state of grief allowed me to have that experience and view it through that lens. Again, it comes down to what you're going into this movie-- any movie-- with, but for me, it was like a grief doula, sort of guiding me through the stages. Now, obviously, it's not a perfect happy ending for her - We know this. But that was the experience I had, and it was very helpful for me. So I would recommend this movie to people who are grieving, which I think a lot of people are, as we're in this now third year of the pandemic.
If there's a moral to this story... I think there are a couple things, but one that really jumped out to me was the importance of balance in all things. Throughout the film, we're shown examples of how too much of even a seemingly good thing has negative consequences, right? Like even the constant sunlight, which, sunshine is supposed to be good and symbolize happiness and clear skies. But the *constant* sunlight, the heavy saturation of light throughout this movie, becomes disorienting and wrong, when there's no distinction between night and day. Similarly, too much empathy and sharing-- as we see with the cult having various communal experiences-- at a certain point, leads to the absence of personal boundaries and even consent.
Carver: Yeah.
SJ: Oh, we got to talk briefly about the Oracle character, because we were talking about ableism in Hereditary... But even the Oracle character-- if you're going to give that some meaning (because I really hate that that's a character, it doesn't need to exist)-- if you are to ascribe some meaning to that, you could sort of read it as, like, 'too much blood purity leads to physical disfigurement.'
Carver: That particular character is so secondary that they could have very easily been removed from the story and had basically no effect. I think it is there to trigger the Western cultural taboo of incest, to expose these Americans to something that is going to make them uncomfortable, that they see as morally wrong. And then also the fact that they are doing it purposefully, creating this person in a way that just seems manipulative, creating someone to be used. And they are the only person kept separate from everyone else. They live alone, in the religious house, but they are very clearly created to be kept apart from everyone else. Even if they're put on a pedestal and being told that they're holy, they're still not fully a part of the cult, which is the thing that we feel for Dani. Like, the compelling part of this movie is almost wanting Dani to join this cult, to be a part of something, and then they have created a person to keep away from them.
SJ: It's a striking contrast, and I agree - This character could have been completely written out of or edited out of the movie, and it would change pretty much nothing. I think there's like a total of 5 seconds of actual screen time for this character, at least in the theatrical cut. They're talked about in maybe two scenes, but it just seems so unnecessary. I guess if you're really [exasperated sigh] going deep on it, you could say the othering of this character is another warning sign against this cult being as inclusive as they say. But, uh, Occam's razor would say it's just Ari Aster's ableism showing up again.
Carver: Yeah. [chuckles]
SJ: It feels like the very old archetype of 'good equals beautiful and bad equals ugly.' It's just so regressive and uninteresting that I wish he hadn't included it. What is the point of this character?!
Carver: It really adds little to nothing to the film. It seems sort of like you were saying earlier, used for the same purpose of showing elderly women nude: It's a shock factor, it's to make the most common denominator feel some amount of disgust. It doesn't really feel like it fits even the themes of this movie.
SJ: I agree. And I mean, that's definitely one of the things I dislike. I also don't like that this movie-- *again*-- has, like, zero women involved at any level of production. Since it was filmed in Sweden, they just used a lot of Nordic white dudes... And Aster's next movie is equally white. He's just going to keep doing the same thing, I don't think he's ever going to learn. But, we shall see, Ari.
Carver: We'll see! [chuckles]
SJ: I did want to ask you, do you see Dani as a type of Final Girl? And if so, how does she fit into that canon?
Carver: I think, with the loosest parameters of Final Girl-- which I'm comfortable using here-- Dani is a Final Girl. She starts the movie with the same obstacles against her as everyone else, and because of something inherently different about her, she's able to make it through (at least the film). And the thing that Dani has that's different is *emotional complexity*--
SJ: [laughs] Right. It's true! That is her superpower.
Carver: --And, uh, that's not always what we're looking for in a Final Girl, but I do think it makes her just as tough. The things we expect to see them going through, she, in a way, does. She's put against these insurmountable odds, and just because they look way different than what we're used to doesn't exclude her from being part of that canon.
SJ: Yeah. Isn't the Final Girl also supposed to be the virgin, usually?
Carver: Yes. I'd say that trope gets subverted more and more since Scream came out...
SJ: Since people became aware that the Final Girl was a trope [laughs]. Then they started trying to subvert it.
Carver: Yeah.
SJ: I think there's an element of that to her character, because a comment that one of the douchey guys makes is that she doesn't want to have sex with Christian. That sort of made me think of your classic Final Girl-- as like, not sexual, right? Because the girl who has sex dies first, in your classic horror movie.
Carver: Yes. And I think-- if we're getting into Final Girls-- a lot of the basis of the idea of the Final Girl is because those slasher movies were made during Reaganomics, during an extreme time of demonizing women owning their sexuality. And so, the villain in many of those slasher stories is...Reaganomics. It's the oppressive force coming after people trying to live their lives. And the farther we get from that, the easier it is to subvert those notions.
SJ: Totally. And it's kind of interesting to see versions of Final Girls in different eras.
Carver: I watched a movie recently with a Final Girl who is so unlike anything else I've ever seen, that calling her a Final Girl is a stretch because it's like, is she the villain?
SJ: [intrigued] Mm.
Carver: I, uh, will not recommend it to the squeamish, but the movie Pet is definitely disgusting [SJ chuckles] and unlike anything I've ever seen before. If you really want to see a subversive Final Girl, it would be Holly from that.
SJ: Gotcha. It is interesting to see the evolution of Final Girls, because they started out being very stereotypical, and I think we are getting into more interesting territory with recent horror. The last thing I'll say about Midsommar is, one thing that really irks me? Ari Aster has said a number of times that he wrote this after a really bad breakup, and that he is basically Dani. Now, we know how he writes female characters-- I guarantee you the first draft of this script was gender-swapped. And so, I think about what that would have looked like, and... ew.
Carver: Mhm.
SJ: That would not have gotten made. Like, watching a man drug and set fire to his girlfriend would not play well in a mid-#MeToo era [laughs nervously]. So I'm sure that he got some notes or had some self-awareness to gender-swap those characters. But it really gives me pause to think of what the first version of this movie looked like, if it's taken from his own experiences and his own anger towards his ex-(presumably)girlfriend. I can't help but feel a little ick, ya know?
Carver: Yeah. I think we wouldn't have the same sympathy for Dani, if the roles were reversed there...
SJ: No.
Carver: ...But I also feel like we may have even had *more* sympathy for them, before everything happened.
SJ: Hmm...
Carver: I think because of the way we see gender and relationships, it's easy to kind of say, "Well, is she being a little naggy in the beginning? Is she calling too much?" They're able to put us in her shoes, where we're second guessing those things, whereas if a man was, like, calling and trying to be emotionally vulnerable with his girlfriend, we'd be like, [fawning] "Oh, good for him! Good for him, having a depth of emotion!" Because that's where our bar-- [laughing]
SJ: Ha, right!
Carver: --for the representation of men is.
SJ: Oh my God, it's so true. Well, I know on your show you always like to end with some recommendations, so would you kick us off?
Carver: Absolutely. This is a movie that, when I first saw it, Ari Aster was the first person I thought of-- specifically the shot in Hereditary where he's being followed down the hall, and it starts from behind him and goes over and turns, which I think is a very distinct shot that you don't see very often. There is an Australian film from 1982 called Next of Kin. It actually didn't get a worldwide release until 2019. It's available on Tubi, Shudder, and if you endorse the monster, Amazon Prime... [chuckles]
SJ: [through pursed lips] Myeah.
Carver: It's about a college student who returns to the small town where her family owns a home for the elderly, after her mother dies, and the events of her mother's diary start happening to her. It's part giallo, part haunted house story, and it is immaculate, especially for being made in a time where most films coming out of Australia were called "Ausploitation," because they were just purely exploitation films. And I think this really subverts a lot of what was happening there at the time.
SJ: Interesting. How did you come across that one?
Carver: Uh, I will watch everything on Shudder. Two years ago, I was living in a house without internet, and I watched 100 horror movies in a year-- 100 new-to-me horror movies, not including rewatches.
SJ: Wow.
Carver: And I feel like I really pushed my knowledge of the genre, by pushing myself that way.
SJ: That's very impressive. Henceforth, you will be my go-to horror person. [both laugh] You've watched everything, and I am still really a noob at this genre, so you've been a great reference. I haven't listened to every episode of your podcast, but I've been catching up on some older ones and I try to keep up with the new ones. But it always gives me something new to put on my list, or helps me reconsider a film I've already seen, from a different lens. So, I appreciate what y'all are doing on Spooky & Gay.
Carver: Thank you! So glad to hear it.
SJ: It's a good time, it really is.
Carver: I'm glad. You know, we sat together watching movies and we're like, "We have such a good time. Let's share this with other people."
SJ: I love that. I think some of the best podcasts are ones that just feel like conversations between friends. As a listener, you feel like you're there with them, like you're just having a good chat with your friends about something, or geeking out about something.
Carver: Always feel free to cook dinner with us in your ears. [laughs]
SJ: And I have! I have, actually. [both laugh] Um, I guess for my recommendations, I will try to cancel out the straightness, whiteness and maleness of Ari Aster's films. [chuckles] There's a TV show called Evil. Have you watched this?
Carver: I haven't watched Evil.
SJ: It's from a husband-and-wife creative team, Robert and Michelle King, who also created The Good Wife (which was excellent) and The Good Fight (which was even more excellent and got me through the tr*mp years). They're a fantastic satirical creative duo, and Evil is no exception. It's tackling all these really current, zeitgeisty things, using the genre of horror. It is a bit of a monster-of-the-week sometimes, but the monsters and demons tend to be more human than supernatural in nature, whether it's police brutality or incels going on shooting sprees. Every episode is different and kind of knocks your socks off in a new way. Sometimes it is *genuinely* scary, and sometimes it's mostly funny, but it's a great balance. And I'm just recommending it to everyone, because it feels really underrated. I don't know many other people who are watching it, but it's *such* a good show. And of course, there are a lot of really great women-directed horror movies, so I have listed some of our faves in the shownotes as well for people to check out.
All right! This was fantastic. It was really good to talk to you more in-depth.
Carver: Thank you so much for having me on, that was great!
SJ: Thank you for rewatching those movies even though-- [cracking up] --even though they traumatize you and, uh, you didn't necessarily like them.
Carver: You know, I got to the halfway point in Midsommar, and I realized I had stopped taking notes because I was just so engrossed by it.
SJ: Oh really?
Carver: I don't regret doing it at all. It just really took a lot to get myself to do it. But once I did, I enjoyed it again.
SJ: Oh, good. I'm glad at least one was a more or less enjoyable viewing experience. [chuckles]
Carver: I honestly think that article made my viewing experience of Hereditary worse--
SJ: Yeah!
Carver: --'cause I was really looking for the trans allegory, and where I found it, I did not like it.
SJ: Yes! Same.
Carver: And I hate to say that, because I love supporting trans writers, and I'm so glad that they saw themselves in that. But it is just not something I can see myself in...well. [chuckles]
SJ: It's a good example of how trans people are not a monolith, you know? We have varying opinions on things too, and something that resonates for them didn't resonate for us-- That's okay!
Carver: Yeah.
SJ: [faux-dramatically] We contain multitudes, don't we?
Carver: Truly. [both laugh]
SJ: Like all people! Imagine that.
Carver: Right? [chuckling]
SJ: Well, it's been a blast talking to you, Carver. I'm really glad we got to do this. Thanks so much for sticking with me for...2 hours? 3 hours, now? Oh my God. [tired and apologetic] Yeah, it's been 3 hours.
Carver: Happy to do so. I could talk about this forever, so you're with good company. [chuckles good-naturedly]
SJ: [smiling] Appreciate it. [determinedly] I will see you on TikTok.
Carver: Absolutely. [chuckles]
[Harga music from Midsommar plays in background]
SJ: For more discussion of all things horror, check out Carver's podcast, Spooky & Gay with Carver and Jay. And for more discussion of all things pop culture, hit the 'follow' or 'subscribe' button on this here podcast. I promise we really never talk about the stuff made by straight white guys-- This was a one-off. Following some of Midsommar's themes though, our next episode will be the continuation of our series on mental health representation in TV and film. Patrons of the show get first looks at new episodes, plus bonus content and listener polls. So if you enjoyed this episode and would like more, or just want to show your support for all the hard work that went into it, check out Patreon.com/popculty. Huge thank-you as always to our sustaining patrons: Suzy, Denise, Alexandra, and Mary. And thank you, dear listener, for spending time with us. You can spend more time with Carver on TikTok @acamp.slasher, and me over on Tumblr.com/popculty. Until next time: Stay critical, support women directors, and demand representation.
[music concludes]
SJ: Sorry, I feel like I'm going on. [dramatically] I have a lot of feelings! [both laugh]
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unpopular opinion and dip time
#as someone who's been following florence pugh for quite some time i can say with confidence that this is an actress who is extremely#passionate and dedicated towards her job#she involves herself in the filmmaking process and familiarises herself with every single person and builds#a personal relationship with everyone#she's worked with extremely famous directors and lesser known directors as well#she's worked with a proper star cast and worked with easily forgotten actors as well#and yet all through out it she maintains the same level of friendship with everyone#she's a goof but also she's a professional and she's an extremely lovable person in the industry#when she does a movie she literally doesn't shut up about it#she will post little behind the scenes anecdotes and speak highly of the cast and crew#and she'll post little stories#like following florence is like looking through a peephole of memories made on set#even after the movie is released she'll post about how the scenes came to be#she's talked about midsommar two years after the movie came out and not like on the anniversary date#just a random day#and for someone who is as involved as this to completely back out of promo for dwd#like yes she is filming dune but if she was able to come down for the premier in venice she def could've come for the press conference#and yes even with scheduling conflicts knowing her she definitely would have posted little anecdotes on ig#leading up to the release of the film#she made 4 posts about venice film festival and none about the movie#even the one she did make didn't utter the name of the movie or the director#so for someone as involved as florence to completely back out of promo and not post anything boy miss cockburn#must've fucked up really fucking bad to get this treatment#like she really must've fucked it up WHILE filming for flo to be this obviously pissed about it all#and from the looks of it even the cast seems to be taking the absolute piss out of it#it's one thing to lose respect and recognition by the gp because like people move ob#on* but with this one she really seems to have lost respect and recognition by her own peers and the film industry in general#no matter what happens after this she's not gonna be able to fix her career because she's done for#she's not getting any more opportunities especially after tanking this film so bad when wb is already bankrupt#and once harry ''breakup'' happens she's actually gonna wither away and be forgotten
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Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 8
Cult girl and Hannibal go through an exhaustive list of potential adoptive couples.
@wisesandwichshark
Trigger warning: sexual harassment, christianity, discussion of pregnancy and family planning, adoption, murder and cannibalism
Step two: find an adoptive family.
Some would say your list of expectations for potential adoptive parents was too extensive. Impossible for any human to reach. But it was really just the bare minimum.
Regardless of if they were two men, two women, one of each, or a few people, the parents had to be trustworthy. It wasn't easy to earn Hannibal's trust, but he could recognize those who had the capacity to right away. It was a little instinct you had dubbed 'friend or food'.
On paper, the apostolic pastor and his wife of 19 years seemed like the perfect candidates. The adoption agency tried to push them on you, as they had a great track record with adopting from them prior. Three boys, all of which were honors students.
Hannibal insisted on a formal introduction, during which you could conduct a proper, though surreptitious, interview. It was an invitation to dinner.
He invited the couple into his office, where a pot of tea and an interrogation was waiting for them. Then there was you. Barely-pregnant little [F/N], feeling entirely safe so long as your fiancé was beside you.
"You're doing the right thing, y'know." The woman, who introduced herself as Mrs. Landon, said upon meeting you.
"How do you mean?" You asked, already knowing the answer.
"All god's life is precious." She said, placing a hand on your not-even-remotely-showing-yet stomach. "You're walking in obedience to the lord by giving this child a shot at life."
Strike one: bringing up religion unprompted. Strike two: touching me without asking first.
You wanted to swat her hand away, but remembered that patience was a virtue. She and her husband took a seat across from you.
"Y'know," The man began, his mannerisms eerily similar to those of his wife. "I don't usually begin with the god talk, but I think a higher power had to have been involved in the conception of this- well, our child. I'd like to think the good lord brought us together today."
Strike three: already believes he is entitled to my child. You're outta here.
"Don't flatter the adoption agency like that, Jacob." Hannibal chuckled, placing his teacup on the side table.
"I'm serious, Dr. Lecter." Jacob interjected. "Faith and I really do believe that god put us on this earth to prepare his smallest soldiers for the spiritual war."
You shot Hannibal a side glance that said 'can we please just eat them now?'.
The answer was no. Hannibal liked to play with his food.
"And your adult children have all moved out?" He asked.
"That's right." Jacob nodded. "We have plenty of room in our five-bedroom house for the new little slugger to run around in."
"And if it's a girl!" The wife interrupted. "We have enough closet space for all the denim maxi-skirts money could buy."
Strike four: arbitrarily genders the behavior of a nine-week-old embryo.
The man then returned the teacup to the table, not bothering to use the saucer and instead leaving a nasty ring of condensation on the polished mahogany.
"Okay." Hannibal huffed, resignedly rising from his seat. He pulled two hypodermic needles from his back pocket and carefully, subtly stuck them onto the couples' necks. They couldn't even scream.
The tacos al pastor that followed (after a few days of marinating, of course) were exquisite.
The next week brought a new couple to your doorstep. Frank and Angela, they were named. Their claim to fame was that their oldest son played football for one of those big southern party schools. Either Auburn or Alabama. There was hardly a difference.
You sat for what felt like hours listening to the man speak in unintelligible football babble, waiting for him to take a breath. Surprisingly, it was the mom who got him to finally shut up.
"Frank, please." She said with more frustration than this one situation even remotely warranted. Either she had enough intuition to know she was being tested, or she’d spent the last decade putting up with this. Possibly both. "You're boring our hosts to death."
"What? No way! She loves it!" Frank replied, then turned to you. Not to Hannibal, just you. “Aren’t you having a great time, sweetheart?”
Strike one: takes advantage of the female socialization to be passive and polite, allowing himself to take up the most space.
You shook your head. “I hate football.”
His wife looked quite pleased with herself.
“Angie, I just wanted her to know what good breeding her son is going to have.” He said, without a lick of irony or self-awareness. He eyed you up and down and licked his lips. “And it is mutual, I see.”
The room went quiet as everyone tried to determine whether he was serious or if it was just a fucked-up joke. The longer the silence lingered, the more you realized he wasn’t kidding. Angela looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
“I don’t know what the agency told you, Mr. Wyatt,” Hannibal said, trying not to grit his teeth. “She isn’t a surrogate. She’s already pregnant.”
Frank’s jaw hung dumbly open. “I thought you were looking for a sperm donor? I just-”
“No.” You cut him off, raising your hand and covering your face. “I don’t want to know what you thought.”
“Well, I would!” Angela interjected, righteous fury eclipsing what should have been crippling embarrassment. “What exactly did you think this was, Francis?”
“The file said that he was over fifty, so I just assumed--” Frank rationalized, his voice far too loud for the room. “Y’know? That she wanted a baby that wouldn’t come out all funny-looking?”
“You’re disgusting.” You blurted out.
“Francis Howard Wyatt,” Angela scolded as if she were talking to her son. “You are forty-eight and the only increasing part of your body is your blood pressure. Why on Earth would any woman choose you over her smart, handsome doctor fiancé?”
This made Hannibal sit up a little straighter. He wanted Francis on the butcher’s block yesterday, but he momentarily considered letting Angela live.
“They’re not married?” Frank whispered, or whatever the loud-aggressive-toxic-masculinity version of whispering was. He paused, as the dead hamster on the wheel powering his brain crept back to life. “That actually makes sense.”
Angela loudly smacked her hand against her face. “Dr. Lecter, Ms. [L/N], I am so sorry.”
“It’s quite alright, Mrs. Wyatt.” Hannibal stood up, readying the next batch of needles. “It just makes what I’m about to do easier.”
It took quite a bit of restraint to not make their deaths hurt, but he made up for it when it came time to carve. He had fun running his fittingly small penis through a meat grinder. Not with any intent to cook it, though. Just because.
Hannibal wanted to make Francis Wyatt into the least dignified meal imaginable. You quickly recalled going to a friend’s barbeque in Georgia and encountering a horrendously Southern delicacy known as Frito Pie. You proposed the idea to Hannibal, who, after reviling in abject horror at the notion of eating something out of a bag, agreed that it was the most fitting end. He could spare a few pounds of flesh to grind up and make into chili.
The third week brought yet another couple. They seemed smart enough to realize your invitation wasn't the friendly olive branch the others had interpreted it as. Their healthy skepticism was refreshing, to say the least. Then, you met them: Max and Archie.
"You'll have to forgive my partner's paranoia." Max said upon entering the house. He tugged playfully at Archie's hand. "We watched Get Out recently, so an invitation to the suburbs sounded some alarms in his sleep-deprived brain."
"I love that movie." You chimed in. "It reminds me of my family."
"Oh no." Archie's eyes widened in only half-pretend fear. He shot an I-told-you-so look in his partner's direction.
"But my favorite horror flick has to be Midsommar." You added. "My friends and I saw a midnight screening and we didn't sleep at all that night."
"But have you seen Hereditary?" Archie posited.
"Of course." You shrugged. "Aster is totally genius."
You made more than just polite conversation with the couple. Max, despite his young age, was a skilled data analyst and day trader. He attributed his success to the hard work of his immigrant parents. Archie was an environmental lawyer and land activist. He was also a bit of a thrill junkie, indulging in everything from scary movies to bungee jumping.
It didn't take long to realize that you wouldn't be eating them. They were far too pleasant of company to eat.
"So when is this baby planning to make its entrance?" Archie asked, gesturing to you. "You don’t look all that pregnant to me."
You put your hand over your slightly-protruding stomach. "Late August, I believe. If everything goes according to plan."
"You're not far along at all, aren’t you?" Max observed. "That gives us plenty of time to prove ourselves to you."
"Believe me." You put up your hand. "You're doing a great job so far."
“If you like horror stories, we might have to indulge you in the last two encounters we had.” Hannibal commented, leaning back comfortably in his chair. That was a good sign. “No blood was spilled, thank god. Would have ruined my carpets. But believe me when I tell you it came very close.”
The couple laughed along. Archie leaned in like he was about to tell a life-shattering secret. “You wouldn’t believe the hoops we had to jump through to even have the chance to adopt. And I don’t want to say that it’s because we’re an interracial gay couple, but...”
“Agencies aren’t exactly colorblind.” You finished, via his prompting.
“She gets it.” Archie pointed to you. “See, Maxie? She agrees with me.”
Max pushed his glasses up his nose. “I never said I disagreed.”
You spent the rest of the afternoon waiting for the conversation to take a sharp left turn off a cliff, but it didn’t happen. They were wonderful company; polite, intelligent and articulate. Exactly the kind of people you’d want to see taking care of your child.
You’d have to look for you next meal elsewhere.
#hannibal#hannibal x reader#hannibal x you#hannibal lecter x you#hannibal lecter x reader#hannibal lecter#hannibal nbc#cult girl#cult girl 2#cult girl doctorate
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( kiernan shipka / she/her / cis female / florence pugh ) lana ‘laney’ bryant was just spotted by paparazzi riding around in a bubblegum pink mercedes benz eqs. the twenty two year old has made quite a name for themselves, as the latest tmz article has stated that she was spotted having two dates with different guys in a single night, but we have yet to see if that’s true or not. the tabloids say they tend to be impulsive, but the fans claim they are also hard working. when i think of them, i think of late night conversations, cherry suckers and stashes of movie ticket stubs. they’re usually seen walking the streets of los angeles with the versace medusa aevitas platforms, and the soundtrack to their life would probably be happier than ever by billie eilish. ( bee / 22 / she/her / cst / n/a )
full name: lana charlotte bryant
nicknames: laney, charlie, lottie
positive traits: smart, hard working, resourceful, stylish, independent, talented, driven, ambitious.
negative traits: impulsive, obsessive, indecisive, sarcastic, workaholic, guarded, secretive.
likes: fashion, movies, books, sitcoms, athletes, burger joints, champagne, the color pink, awards.
background
lana was born on november 5, 1999 in a small town of 1500 people in upstate california. she is an only child of a middle class family, and her parents have a pretty dysfunctional marriage but stayed together “for her sake.” still, lana grew up a happy child, always enrolled in arts classes and excelling in school.
she was 16 when she met the boy that changed the trajectory of her life forever. she was a junior and he was a repeat senior, and they met at english class she was bumped up to and he was retaking. lana, who then went by charlotte, had been a good girl all her life but something about this boy made her rebellious and bolder.
they stayed together until graduation day ( because they happened to graduate on the same day ) and eloped that same night, which her parents did not like at all. they stopped talking to her, and lana’s new husband convinced her to move to los angeles, so she decided to ditch college, stop going by charlotte, and go to hollywood where they would both become rich and famous.
los angeles
it didn’t work out well.
they were having the time of their lives as broke newlyweds in a run down, shoddy, nasty little apartment in a bad neighborhood — for only a couple of months. lana started regretting the decision to leave, she missed her parents and she wanted to go to college after all, but her husband thought that that was a stupid idea and he would let her know. neither of them were getting any work, his demos weren’t selling and lana couldn’t get past a first callback.
their relationship grew colder and more distant, so lana started spending more time away from home and hitting every single audition room she could squeeze into and scheduling as many meetings with managers as she could. after working little background roles here and there, she caught her big break a few months after turning 19, when she was cast in the little drummer girl. lana actually lied about her age in order to get the role, pretending to be 23 because it was the minimum age on the casting call.
she’s been working non stop since then, which her husband was rather jealous of, as his demos still weren’t selling. the two of them started arguing a lot, getting into screaming matches pretty much every time lana came home from set and sometimes even when he’d visit her on set of little women. and then, after a year and six months of marriage, lana filed for divorce and promptly left to film midsommar in europe. they haven’t spoken since.
ever since the divorce, lana has been working very heavily and hasn’t dated anyone seriously. she started talking to her parents again, but things are still very much fragile between the family. currently, lana is trying to get to know herself, enjoying the fortune she has amassed in the last four years, keeps chasing that oscar she missed out on, and dates around a bunch, now afraid to open up to any man that tries to weasel his way into her heart and ditching before they can try.
she doesn’t date artists anymore.
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something’s wrong ~ mark;midsommar
word count: 1751
request?: yes!
“Midsommar imagine about Mark where you're best friends with Josh and they always hang out. So when they go to Sweeden Mark tells on Josh for taking pictures of the book. When Josh disappears the reader is concerned but Mark tries to distract her”
description: after her best friend goes missing, she’s suspicious about what is really happening during their vacation, so he tries to distract her
pairing: mark x female!reader
warnings: swearing
masterlist
note, i still haven’t seen the movie and can’t find anything about a book josh was taking pictures of online (i.e can’t find the scene or anything), so i won’t specifically be mentioning that. sorry hun :(
Josh wouldn’t just leave without telling you. He had brought you on the trip, he wouldn’t just up and leave without telling you he was going home, or without asking if you wanted to go home, too. It made no sense, you couldn’t understand.
You were trying to get some answers from one of the villagers, but they were all acting as though they didn’t speak English, but you had heard them talking to some of the other visitors. You were starting to get agitated, and decided to be bold and approach the leader of the village.
“Hey, you,” you called, very informal, but you didn’t know his name. “Leader guy, I have to talk to you.”
He smiled at you, but something about his smile creeped you out. “Yes, how may I help you?”
“I want to know where Josh went,” you told him, crossing your arms over your chest. “No one will give me a straight answer, I want to know where he’s gone.”
He was still smiling and you wanted to punch that smile off of his face. “I am afraid I do not know who this Josh is.”
“He’s the only one in this white village with a dark complexion, you could pick him out of a lineup with no problem,” I responded. “He came with my friends and I, with Pelle. He’s been missing for days and I can’t call him cause you lot took our cell phones.”
“Ah, yes, your friend has gone home.”
Your anger was starting to boil. You balled your hands into fists at your side to stop yourself from grabbing him or hitting him. “He did not go home! He would’ve told me, he would’ve told any of us! He didn’t just up and leave without telling anyone, that makes no sense. That’s not who Josh is, not when he knows there’s no way we can contact him until we leave this place.”
The smile on the old man’s face didn’t falter, and that just made you even more angry. You wanted to hit him so bad, you wanted to hit all of these idiots. None of them gave anyone a straight answer about anything. They were all mysteriously silent, and more questionable things were happening that no one was addressing.
“He is gone home,” the village leader responded.
You opened your mouth to yell at him again, raising your hand slightly, although you weren’t sure if you were actually going to hit him. Luckily, you were stopped by a hand on your shoulder. You looked back to see Mark stood next to you, looking at the village leader apologetically.
“I’m sorry, she’s just worried about our friend,” he told the village leader.
“It is alright. I understand the worry, but your friend simply went home. He alerted us before bedtime last night that he wished to return home, so we let him.”
That didn’t make sense, but you knew fighting it was useless at this point. You were just going to keep getting the same answers. Finally, you turned away from the leader, simply glaring at him before doing so, and started to walk away. Mark walked beside you, taking long strides to catch up with your fast ones.
“You can’t just yell at their village leader like that (Y/N),” he said. “We don’t know what their customs are, they could be punishable by death.”
“Maybe I’d finally get some goddamn answers about Josh then,” you hissed.
“Why can’t you just accept that maybe he went home?” Mark asked. “I mean, he didn’t want to be here, none of us do. Maybe he struck up some sort of deal with their leader and he got to go home.”
“He would tell me, Mark,” you insisted. “We’ve been best friends since we were in diapers, we talk to each other about everything. He wouldn’t just up and leave without saying anything to me. He wouldn’t even go talk to the leader without mentioning it to me first. There’s no way he left here without telling me about it first.”
“Maybe it was a split decision thing. Maybe he wasn’t allowed to come back and tell us he left. They’re pretty private here, it would make sense to me.”
You crossed your arms and looked down at the ground. That was possible, you had to admit, but you didn’t believe for a second that Josh left without even mentioning that he was going to try to leave. There was something else happening, and it had something to do with those wacko villagers.
Mark put his hand on your shoulder again, causing you to look up at him. “Come on, let’s go get something to eat to get your mind off of things. I’m sure we’ll hear from Josh soon.”
You followed Mark to the building with the kitchen. Normally, they weren’t allowed to have food between meals unless it was a special treat. Apparently that’s how things worked in the village, they claimed it was good for health. You didn’t know how being hungry for hours without being able to eat anything was good for health, but it wasn’t like you could really do anything about it. But Mark claimed he had a way to get food sneakily before meals.
“Hey Maja,” he said, smiling at the pretty villager who was baking. She looked up at him and smiled, batting her eyelashes like an American girl trying to flirt. “What are you making today?”
“Making bread for tonight’s meal,” she responded. “We are having homemade stew!”
“Sounds amazing. You wouldn’t happen to have a leftover loaf my friend and I could share do you?”
Maja’s smile brightened as she reached into the pan in front of her. “I knew you would be coming to ask, so I made an extra loaf just for you! I also have some jams for you to put on it. Go to the back room, it will just be me today so you are safe to eat.”
Mark winked at Maja as he took the bread and jam. You smiled weakly as her, although she didn’t noticed as her eyes were set on Mark. You followed him to the back room, which was more like a janitor’s closet just without the cleaning supplies. Mark took hold of two stools and placed them side by side before sitting up on one. You got up on the other, sitting to face him. He tore a piece of the bread off before passing it to you, offering you a knife to spread the jam with.
“That’s really not fair of you, you know,” you said as you took a bite of the bread. You had never had homemade bread before, but this bread certainly tasted delicious.
“What’s not fair?” Mark asked as he began to eat some as well.
“You can’t just flirt with girls to get whatever you want. That girl seems like she’s really into you, you shouldn’t use that to your advantage.”
“Why not? It’s not like I can actually engage in a relationship with her. When this trip ends I’ll never see her again, might as well have a little fun before that happens.”
You rolled your eyes before tearing off another piece of the bread and spreading more jam on it.
There was a brief silence as the two of you ate. Neither one of you really knew what to say, so you just remained silent. It wasn’t until the bread was nearly gone that Mark cleared his throat to speak.
“So,” he started, “you’re concerned about Josh from like...a best friend standpoint, right?”
You raised an eyebrow at him. “Um...yeah? We’re best friends, nothing more, nothing less. Why?”
“Oh, nothing. It’s just, well the group and I have been wondering for years if anything else was going on between you and Josh. You both seem so close and very, like, touchy feeling and such. We had a bet as to how long until you either got together or just confirmed that you were actually dating.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at this. “Oh, god, no. There’s nothing between Josh and I, and there never will be. Josh is my best friend and my best friend only. I seem him more like a brother than anything else. Even if I somehow developed feelings for him, or vice versa, we are way too deep in our friendship to try and pursuit that.”
Mark simply nodded, but wouldn’t meet your eye. You titled your head like a confused puppy. “What was your bet as to when we’d get together?”
“Never,” he responded simply.
This took you by surprise. “Really? You’re the smartest of the bunch, then.”
Mark shook his head. “No, I made that bet as more of a...selfish choice.”
You were confused by what this meant, but it soon dawned on you. “Oh...oh!”
The silence returned. Neither one of you looked at the other. You weren’t really sure how to respond. It was shocking news to hear. You wondered if Josh knew, and if he did, how did he feel about it? Josh was like your brother, so to have one of his friends have feelings for you, you knew that wasn’t going to end well with the boys.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” you finally asked.
Mark’s head snapped up quickly, looking at you in shock. “Wait, what?”
You giggled at his shocked expression. “I’ve kind of had feelings for you for some time, too. But you’re Josh’s friend, I felt like it’d be weird if I tried to make a move.”
“I felt the same way! I thought that you two might have something going on.”
You smiled at him. “Well, now that you know we don’t, what do you intend to do about it?”
“I intend to take you on a date when we get back to America.”
Your cheeks were hurting from how much you were smiling, although you really didn’t mind. “I’d love that.”
He nodded and stuffed the last bit of bread into his mouth. As he was chewing it, his face changed. “Ah fuck, I’ll have to tell Josh about this when we finally get a hold of him.”
You reached forward and put a hand on his shoulder. “Good luck solider, I’ll remember you fondly.”
This caused the both of you to laugh and, luckily, you were able to forget about your worries for Mark, for just a little while at least.
#mark imagine#mark#midsommar#midsommar imagine#will poulter#will poulter imagine#will poulter x reader#imagine#one shot#request
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1257
Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry? Oh for sure. We had to watch It’s A Beautiful Life and I know I cried every single time I watched that movie, whether for school or on my own time.
What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? I don’t really get this question. I feel like it would make more sense if it asked how early I’m willing to wake up in the morning...? Anyway, I don’t pay attention to the time I sleep at night. Sometimes I’ll pass out as early as midnight, and sometimes I’ll be up until 3; it doesn’t matter to me.
What is you favorite type of lunch meat? I’m not into those in general.
What time of the year do you dislike the most? The heat in April and May is just brutal and uncalled for. It gets so hot and disgustingly humid and most times the aircon can’t even do much to quell it.
Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? Yeah, banana ketchup since that’s what we usually have a bottle of. Generally, I have banana ketchup with most of my breakfast dishes too.
What is your favorite color to wear? I don’t really have a favorite to wear those days mostly because I barely go out anyway and there’s been little need to update my closet.
Are you an overachiever? Seems like the type of question you should be asking my parents, not me haha. Personally, though, I’m fairly proud of what I’ve accomplished.
What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? Maybe longer legs and smaller teeth, but I’m not exactly insecure about mine.
What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'Hara) would you marry? Did you just raise the possibility of marrying a deer? Anyway...since I mentioned Two for the Road in the last survey, I’ll go with Mark from that movie. Seems like my type of partner.
How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? With legs...around 2-3 weeks. Armpits, maybe about a week or so. Never more than a month for either.
What is the meanest thing you have ever said to someone else? For the most part I’ve always been cautious of what I say; writing, on the other hand...I’ve written stuff on my diary wherein I let out all my frustrations against my mom. I know they were mean because she cried over them – but that also entailed snooping through my stuff, so I’ve never felt bad about it. I meant those things as I wrote them because it was my safe space, and she violated that. That’s on her.
Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? I did, but I instantly realized it was bad so I stopped as soon as I began.
What is your favorite thing about your life? How everything seems to have fallen in its place these days. There’s really little to complain about and I’m grateful for that.
Save all the animals that die during road kill or save 1 human from a fire? Animals.
Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? No.
How many real bfs/gfs have you had? One.
Did you enjoy your past relationships? I did.
Name a comedy that you like. White Chicks. << I love this choice, let’s just go with this one lol.
Could you wait until marriage for sex? Sure.
What’s the best Nirvana song? I don’t listen to them. I know a couple of songs but I don’t like them enough to be my favorites.
What was the last thing that impressed you? The new Butter remix with Megan Thee Stallion.
When was the last time you were in a pet store? Years, years ago.
What nationality is your last name? Spanish or Portuguese, I’m not super sure.
What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip? I never dip my chips; I just have them as is.
Who was the last boy that you saw cry? Idk...maybe one of my cousins from one of our family reunions last year. I don’t get to be around a lot of boys or guys.
Does your mom know you do surveys? No. I’ve never had to raise it and I can’t see a situation where I would have to.
Have you ever had a serious injury? Yeah, I got a big wound from when I went snorkeling around a decade ago. I wasn’t provided flippers so when I was kicking to stay afloat I managed to hit the coral reefs underneath repeatedly, which majorly scraped and gashed my left foot until it was an open, bleeding mess. It was infected for weeks and I’m surprised it didn’t leave any kind of mark or scar.
What was the last thing you achieved? Handling a campaign for a major client successfully and getting good coverage and results for it.
Would you enjoy being famous? Probably, but I wish I had some sort of talent or skill that would propel me to popularity in the first place hahaha.
What’s under your bed? Some things I collected from past hobbies and interests, like all my old wrestling magazines.
Do you enjoy travelling? Love it.
Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? I mean I joined an org in college, which technically makes me a member for life. I’m not name-dropping but it’s one of the two journalism organizations in my alma mater.
When was the last time you drank strawberry milk? I can’t recall. I don’t drink strawberry milk.
Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set? I never collected those.
Do you have a clock in your room? Nope.
Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher? I honestly can’t remember. I only had like three sessions with different instructors for each, and the one instructor I remember having was extremely cranky and impatient.
Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite? Hold It Against Me is pretty fun.
Does mind over matter work for you? Sure.
Are you paranoid? Oh yeah. Overthinker is pretty much my middle name.
What is the best thing about winter? I wouldn’t know but considering the things associated with it, I’ve always believed it would be my favorite season.
Have you ever been truly in love? Hmm. I think so, yeah. I’d give myself that.
Are you currently planning a trip? Nah. Nothing set in stone, but Angela, Reena, and I have been talking about flying to South Korea next year. We’ll see.
How many plants are in your home? Several. My mom is a bit of a fan, but it’s nothing obsessive.
What is your favorite possession? I treasure my BTS merch, I guess haha. Nobody is allowed to touch them or move them around without my permission. As often as my mom likes to barge in my room and touch my stuff, she seems to understand and doesn’t lay a finger on any of the merch either.
Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? Sure. But it's never really mattered to me; it just feels nice to be nice and do nice things for people. It does feel nice to be thanked, but I don’t necessarily do it for the recognition.
What movies have tripped you out? I’m Thinking of Ending Things, Midsommar, Anomalisa, Under the Skin, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and The Killing of A Sacred Deer are a few of them.
Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? Yesssss, I even had a pair as a kid. I got into it because I loved to ice skate, but it turned out I wasn’t as good as gliding on the ground so I ultimately preferred ice skating. Anyway, no, I haven’t done rollerblading in years.
Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? I did. I stayed because it’s where I felt safe and I didn’t know where else to go or what else to do outside of it.
Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? Sure.
Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? Nope. I find them more distracting than anything else, and they actually keep me from sleeping.
What summertime treats do you love? I don’t have any.
How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I am VERY picky. I have to be really interested in you. < Yeah, this sounds about right.
What do you hate most about moving? The last time we moved was in 2008...and I don’t really remember disliking any part of it. I was actually excited for us to have a home all to ourselves after living with extended family in a cramped house all my life.
Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? Depends where. Sometimes it can be exciting, sometimes it can be inconvenient but you kinda do it out of desperation lol.
Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? No, I’m scared of how it would affect my body so I’ve never tried.
Has anyone ever whistled at you? Countless random men.
Do you like scarves? They can be comfy if I’m traveling somewhere cold...but I don’t really get to do that often, so.
Is your father homophobic? I haven’t seen any signs from him. My mom is much more likely to exhibit internalized homophobia – she just did the other night.
Do you take gummy vitamins? No, only when I was a teenager.
Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all? I don’t think so, nothing I can recall.
Who would you like to meet before you die? I don’t have any goal person in mind.
If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? Hmm, probably not. What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? The Avril Lavigne doppelganger one is extremely hilarious and I read up so many thread about it on Twitter just so I can see how far people can stretch it.
If Heaven and Hell exists, where are you going when you die? I don’t care.
Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? Either of my best friends.
What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? The weather.
Is there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? My mom.
Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself? Yeah the soundtracks are actually fucking great. The person who took this survey before me named Supermassive Black Hole by Muse, and that’s one of my favorites from all the soundtracks. The song Slow Life in New Moon is nice, too. How old was the first person you kissed? She was 17, going on 18.
Will you be a strict parent one day? I’d have some rules set but I wouldn’t suffocate my kids.
Last person to stand up for you? Heck if I know. I can do that for myself.
Have you been to a baby shower? No.
Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My ex.
What’s your favorite high school memory? Hiding a same-sex relationship from my conservative, homophobic Catholic teachers.
Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single? I like being single these days.
What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? Trying out the Nevis Swing in New Zealand.
What subject at school did you absolutely hate? I saw no point in studying chemistry.
Italian food or Chinese food? Chinese. I like Italian cuisine, but sometimes I find it a tad bit salty for my taste.
Do you like to make flash cards when you study? Not flash cards but sometimes I’ll write my notes down in several index cards because for some reason I retain information better that way.
Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? No.
Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? No. I never saw the appeal of most of them, honestly.
I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. Gabie.
What do you think about Marilyn Manson? I have nothing to say about him tbh.
Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? Nothing beyond getting into an argument with this kid in 2nd grade and getting sent to the counselor’s office for it.
Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? I used to, until I handed it down to my sister...and until she let it smash onto the ground because she didn’t place it on her tripod properly when she was filming one time. I still don’t get why she’s so defensive about it; I wish she’d just admit she majorly fucked up on that. Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? It makes me silently judge the parents more so than letting myself be bothered by a child.
Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? We’re not offered the chance to get yearbooks unless we’re in graduating years.
Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? No.
Jalapeños: yay or nay? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
Did you ever play Minecraft? No. I can’t care less.
Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? I didn’t.
Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense? Me, sometimes. Hahahaha.
What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? The way I was broken up with, like what the person who last took this said. I’m not tortured by it and her anymore, but I don’t think I deserved to intensely mull over about what I could have possibly done to be broken up with the way she did.
What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people that think only they matter and have no consideration for how their actions affect other people. < This pretty much hits the nail on the head on how my ex is, so I’ll just go ahead and agree.
If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it? I’d get braces again and...that’s it, really.
What are your feelings on feminism? I support it and I support how it advocates equality.
Describe your first relationship? I’ve only had one relationship so I’ll just answer the following question.
Describe your last relationship? Internally toxic; uhhh healthy at some points I guess, when she wasn’t being a selfish prick; a disaster towards the end.
Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? I honestly don’t know what constitutes ‘safe sex’ in a same-sex relationship, sooooo idk if I have.
Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? It’s a realistic take on love and I appreciate that it took its sweet time to highlight the ugly sides of love and marriage. Also, Audrey Hepburn taking her acting chops to the next level was just beautiful to watch. She was always a fantastic actress in all her movies, but I could tell her acting in Two for the Road had just a little bit more depth to it.
What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? That I’m nice and approachable.
Do you feel protective over someone? My friends.
What perfume/cologne do you wear? Heat Rush.
Where did your vehicle come from? My parents got it for me as a high school grad gift.
What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? I haven’t been to a wedding since 2007, and back then I was designated as a flower girl lol. I’ve never been to a wedding where I was chosen to be a bridesmaid.
What is your favorite way to eat chicken? CHICKEN SANDWICH. Also chicken wings.
It is your birthday. You hope the cake is: Oreo cheesecake topped with 24 macarons.
What do you wear to bed? Something thin and airy.
What were you doing at 8pm last night? I was watching Bon Voyage.
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I watched Midsommar (2019) last night and I have some thoughts.
There are some major spoilers ahead, so you’ve been aptly warned.
I watched the theatrical version first, and got high mid way, so you know it was a trip. I was convinced I made up the last half of the movie in my head, especially with the visual effects already included.
A couple things that I want to point out before I get into this
1. The Midsommar festival is not portrayed accurately. Ari Aster took his liberty to change some aspects to make it more interesting to the horror genre. And I’m okay with that.
2. This movie should not be held in high standards as some feminist movement. It’s a movie about a cult. If that doesn’t get into your head, you’ve missed the whole horror aspect of the film.
3. The movie does not, in any way, glorify cults. At least, I didn’t think it did. I did almost fall for it, which was unsettling. It’s not meant to be watched by impressionable teens, and the adults should be able to get the right message.
Anyway, with that out of the way let’s get started.
The movie starts of with Dany’s grief. She clearly has issues which leads her to be very dependent on her boyfriend, Christian, mainly because she feels like she has no one left.
We see her talking to him on the phone but also not being able to open up about what’s bothering her. She explains her situation with her sister and her worries (all the while trying to keep her emotions in check), and he counters that her sister just wants the attention. We then see Dany fumbling and eventually agreeing, moving on to showering Christian with compliments.
Dany is constantly trying to make sure she doesn’t overwhelm him with her “problems”. We see her trying to explain to her friend that she doesn’t want to come off as too clingy even though they’ve been together for at least a year.
A few scenes over, Dany’s family is found dead and we see her heaving on Christian (stunning performance by Florence Pugh, my heart wrenched just listening to her). We know Christian was actually going to break up with her before she got the news. As the scene pans out, we see the current state of their relationship. Dany in grief and Christian helplessly stuck.
What do we get from this?
1. Christian is a twat. He can’t connect to Dany emotionally and he has the empathy of a doorknob. He gaslights her (something shown more clearly throughout the movie in the Director’s Cut) behind the facade of playing the good guy.
2. Christian’s friends are also twats. While Mark is the only one speaking openly about her like an object, the others haven’t exactly been trying to stop him. The simply don’t care. I don’t count Pelle into this group for obvious reasons.
3. Dany has no one else. The incident pushed her to completely surround herself with Christian and his friends, so now she’s even more afraid of being dumped.
Fast forward, the gang is going on a trip to Sweden. Pelle meets Dany and stares at her creepily, and you already know the gears are turning in his head.
Throughout the movie, we see Pelle’s personality contrast significantly from Christian, Dany, and Josh’s. Therefore, he naturally settles into the “good” category of characters, right?
Wrong. And this is exactly where the movie was able to deceive me.
Pelle is shown to be the good guy, especially regarding Dany’s grief. He doesn’t impose himself, and after the first blunder, is able to make Dany warm up to him. He empathizes but also not really making a move on her, which makes us relax regarding his ulterior motives.
Chris and the Dicks are seen to have no respect for the community. They’re just here to make money, have sex, and do drugs. They take part in the festival with the fascination of an outsider.
Pelle represented his family at Hårga, so they’d fall on the “good side” too. While the American boys alienated Dany, the awkwardness among them thick as a fog, she (and I) began to realize just how connected the community at Hårga is. She naturally gravitates towards them. She feels safe, like she belongs.
Wisecrack points out, in a video, how Dany picks up the rituals and their justifications from early on, even before she’s quite comfortable with it. Right after the two eldest members of the community jump off the cliff during the ättestupa, Dany blocks out all sounds until a woman explains the ritual to Connie.
Looking back, it did feel like she had already begun to take in information that justified the cults’ actions.
We really connect to Dany in the movie. So much that while we’re hating on Christian for being the worst boyfriend in the history of the world, we miss/ignore the fact that the cult blatantly manipulated the situation. Dany was clearly targeted from the very beginning, and Christian needed to be removed.
Danny is seen having a complete break down thrice in the movie, the first one with Christian and the second one alone. These two may as well have been interchangeable with the amount of presence Christian has comforting her.
The third time, we see a significant change. She’s grieving but it’s shared among the women. As she cries, we feel that she has finally begun to let it take over her then let it go.
By the time the moment came for Dany to choose a sacrifice, she was part of the “family”. Of course, she chose Christian.
The story feels like we just got a happy ending. But did we really?
A characteristic quirk Midsommar is that it all happens in never-ending daylight. The characters (other than Connie and Simon) aren’t trying to escape. The people of Hårga don’t seem to be pretending to be happy. It all just feels natural.
This really was unnerving and set us off balance because it conflicts to the norms of horror movies. With the spooky atmosphere absent, we don’t realize when the climax of the film has already begun.
The horror in the movie lies in the fact that I completely disregarded the abhorrent acts of the cult because we felt Dany was happier with them. I justified Dany’s final act because Christian was an asshole. I completely neglected Connie and Simon’s death. None of them were ever going to get out of the place.
As the movie primarily hangs on to Dany’s point of view, I don’t realize that she is the character who gets influenced to jump to the “evil side”. I was so entwined with her emotions, I miss the point when my morals have been compromised.
As much as I love the shock values that a movie has to give, whether a movie is good or not comes down to the basics. Is the story good?
Midsommar didn’t have any tasteless jump-scares. Instead, we get to see ritualistic senicides and crazy sex rituals. Add the hallucinogenic drugs and trippy shots, we’ve got a flick that will attract to crowd.
But when you separate that from the movie, is the rest still interesting? I believe it was. Ari Aster truly went into depth with the vulnerability of people when they’re grieving. It was because he was able to portray that grief properly that this movie made so much sense.
The “horror” behind the plot is just that. Human vulnerability.
#midsommar#midsommar 2019#ari aster#horror flick#folk horror#psychological thriler#movie review#horror#horror movie#florence pugh#folktales#rituals#cults#sex rituals#movies about cults#happy endings#trippy
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Film Tier Ranking 2019: A Bad Year for Bird Films
Hi to anyone reading,
I’ve finally put it together: my 2019 film tier ranking! I know tier rankings are a bit 6 months ago but seeing British crisps sorted into god, good, mid and shit tier all over Twitter, the format really resonated with me and I was like I MUST USE THIS AT SOME POINT! And I guess since there probably isn’t much of an audience for crisp tier rankings on Tumblr, it makes more sense for me to do it with films instead, especially as doing a 2019 year in film review was something I previously claimed I would do; here’s to 2020 and following through on my proposals.
I think 2019 in general was an okay year for film, with the end of the year definitely outselling the beginning. One thing to bear in mind is that a lot of films that I would’ve been able to see in 2019, I.E Little Women and Parasite, didn’t come out until 2020 in the UK so they won’t make it onto this year’s list. It’s not a snub by any means. I more fall in line with the Elsie Fisher Film Awards school of thought than the Oscars, which have yet again disregarded several incredible performances this year: Florence Pugh in Midsommar, Taron Egerton in Rocketman, Lupita Nyongo in Us, and of course, Greta Gerwig’s direction of Little Women. I’m sure there are many more but those are the first few that come to mind. Oh to be in 2017 when nominations made fractionally more sense.
This list also includes films that weren’t necessarily released this year, but that I just got around to watching; there were a couple of disappointments but also a lot of films I can’t believe it took me this long to finally watch and have definitely made their way into my favourites. My goal for this year is to get through even more of the films on my verrrry long Letterboxd watchlist, and more specifically, watch said films without going on my phone, which is a really bad habit of mine. I find it hard to sit still! Let me live!
I also want to try and put aside my prejudices about visual quality and watch more pre-2000s movies this year; it’s really bad but I never managed to get more than half an hour into Psycho, of all films, solely because I couldn’t deal with the black and white. In 2020, I am going to stop being a whiney Gen Z/cusp millenial-er and give older films the chance they deserve.
So, without further ado, here is my film tier ranking of everything I watched in 2019! If you make it til the end and have any thoughts or disagreements, let me know. I love to hear other’s opinions and get new perspectives on things and am totally open to any criticism. Happy reading:-)
God Tier
Knives Out (Rian Johnson, 2019)
Knives Out. What a film.
I feel like I waited forever to see this at the cinema. They must have started showing trailers for it in, like, August, and I had to wait til mid-November to see it. How are you gonna just dangle a film with Toni Colette and Lakeith Stanfield in my face and then make me wait 3 months? Totally unethical.
But that being said, when it finally came around and I did see it, as much as I love Toni and Lakeith, there was one stand out and it wasn’t either of them: ANA DE ARMAS. I have to admit I’d never heard of her before but she acted the shit out of a role I feel I’d ordinarily find irritating and gimmicky. Daniel Craig, whose character seemed annoying as fuck in the trailer, was actually surprisingly funny.
Stylistically, it was a very cool film and I liked the subtle commentary on class that was running throughout. Also, I thought the ending was very clever. My issue with a lot of whodunnits is that they just pick someone who doesn’t make sense for shock factor *cough, Bobby Beale in Eastenders, cough* but the shocks here were more in the details.
Hustlers (Lorene Scafaria, 2019)
There wasn’t one single moment of Hustlers I didn’t enjoy and it’s quite amazing that there wasn’t one single point in this film about strippers that I felt gratuitously sexualised women. THAT is why you fund female directors. It made the whole thing look like a calculated art form, which I think the unsexy amongst us can all agree that it is. Constance Wu was a fantastic lead, J-Lo was kind of robbed for a supporting actress nom, and Keke Palmer and Lili Reinhart were hilarious too.
Midsommar (Ari Aster, 2019)
Midsommar was such an experience that it took me a good few days afterwards to decide whether I actually liked it. I saw it the day it came out because I loved Hereditary so much and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I kind of had an idea of the way it was going to go, we could all kind of guess evil cult was the route that was being taken from the trailer, but I just didn’t realise quite how weird it’d get.
The gore was great, the visuals were stunning and the character arcs were surprising and for that reason, I think this is another game changer for horror from Ari Aster. I didn’t love it like I loved Hereditary but it continues to play on my mind and 7 months later I still can’t resist a good “Things you Missed in Hereditary” or “Hereditary Themes Explained” Youtube video essay. That’s how you know a film fucked with you and that’s the ultimate goal of going into a horror for me. Put that on my headstone after I inevitably get myself into some mortally dangerous conflict because I want to “get fucked with” a little bit.
Booksmart (Olivia Wilde, 2019)
So here’s the thing with Booksmart: I was getting progressively more and more drunk throughout it so I might be a little biased when I say I loved it. That being said, worth revere seems to be a commonly held opinion so I’ll stick to my guns. Plus, movies like this, which just focus on girls living their lives, are few and far between. Why have we had to wait THIS long for the female Superbad?
IDK. But Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein and Billie Lourd proved it’s definitely a genre worth investing in so hopefully we see more lighthearted female-led coming of age comedies. One Ladybird per year isn’t enough for me.
The Favourite (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2018)
I included The Favourite in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch that I made earlier this year so I don’t have all that much to say about it that I haven’t said already. To summarise, it’s an instant classic: the cinematography, the cast, the lines, it’s all perfection.
Suspiria (Luca Guadagnino, 2018)
I also included Suspiria in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch list so sorry if I’m repeating myself, but I adored everything about it. If I had to sum it up in one sentence I’d say divine feminine energy, but inverted. Plus ballet. That dancing scene in the mirrored room will probably never leave my mind (if you’ve watched it, trust me, you’ll know the one I'm talking about), and if there were awards given out for creepy montages in horror, this would win all of them. It still blows my mind that Tilda Swinton played 3 characters in this film; 2 of them are so distinctly different, if anyone put two and two together without prior knowledge of this fact then I’ll blow my own head up too. This is why I got so mad when there was all that discussion around her being the new female Doctor Who and there were people asking who she was. How can you not know who Tilda fucking Swinton is!? She’s a legend!
Sorry, is the wannabe film snob in me showing?
Annihilation (Alex Garland, 2018)
Though I initially watched it because it’s branded as a horror, Annihilation ended up being a surprisingly introspective take on human nature and our self-destructive tendencies. Nothing really went the way I expected it to, even though I was constantly trying to guess that trajectory from beginning to end.
Visually, Annihilation is magnificent. Like, it’s tense, and where exactly the plot is going is shrouded in mystery, but most importantly, it’s super fucking pretty. Sure, the only thing that was mildly horrifying was the *SPOILER* end result of that bear scene but I didn’t mind too much because there was always that edge-of-your-seat possibility something like that would happen again.
Also I realised that Gina Roduriguez is really hot in this! I would just say in general but that video of her saying the n-word kind of took away shot at real world magnetism. WHY SUCH A SHITTY APOLOGY VIDEO!? WHY?!
Assassination Nation (Sam Levinson, 2018)
So I didn’t clock until I was looking up directors that Sam Levinson, Euphoria director, also directed this, and suddenly everything makes sense in the world. They both have that dreamlike, exaggerated feel that perfectly captures the emotional rollercoaster that is being a teenager, only in Assassination Nation obviously the threats are a bit more...tangible. As in its actually other people trying to kill our protagonists this time round, not just angst.
Not gonna lie, it’s not a patch on Euphoria because that show is probably the best thing I watched all year, but I did thoroughly enjoy it, even if I did feel the social commentary, despite how in your face it was, got a bit lost in translation at times. I think it’s the kind of film that, once again, would’ve felt more genuine coming from a female director, however that’s not to take away from how witty, modern, and completely relevant it still is as we move into 2020.
Sorry To Bother You (Boots Riley, 2018)
Right. WHAT THE FUCK!?
Why don’t more people talk about this film? Like it has Tessa Thompson and the world’s best earrings! Lakeith Stanfield getting more than 10 cumulative minutes of screen time! Armie Hammer being that bitch we all knew he was irl (probably)! Scathing critiques of late stage capitalism! It’s insane, in the absolute best way.
SPOILERS AHEAD: I had a mini paragraph written about the last hour of the film and the descent into pure unadulterated chaos, and how it’s like, the internet’s best kept secret, because ordinarily you lot can’t keep your mouths shut about a film or TV’s shows most crucial reveals for more than 5 minutes and THEN...My FBI agent must be feeling real cheeky because THIS tweet pops up on my Twitter timeline.
Fuck this shit, I’m out. Onto the next film. MI5 stop peeping my drafts.
Eighth Grade (Bo Burnham, 2018)
I don’t want to repeat what I said about Eighth Grade in my 50 Films you Should Watch list but Elsie Fisher’s performance in this is why I wish the Oscars also had some kind of rising star award category à la the BAFTAs. Honestly, every 13/14 year old should watch this; it’s a reminder that although feeling like an outsider is by its nature quite isolating, it’s prolific enough that a 29 year old man, 10 years out of “high school”, gets it.
American Animals (Bart Layton, 2018)
My sister and I absolutely loved this film so you can image our disappointment when we turned round to our parents at the end and our enthusiasm wasn’t matched...as in, I’m pretty sure they were both asleep for a lot of it. WHICH I DON’T GET. Because to me, there wasn’t a dull moment. American Animals is what happens when a group of university age boys with the finesse of the American Vandal Turd Burglar try and apply that to an Evil Genius stye heist, part Netflix, talking head abundant documentary, part live-action film. Splicing a stylistic reenactment with interview footage of the men who really attempted to commit the crime elevated what I probably would have put in the Good Tier™ to the God Tier™; seeing the guy Evan Peters is playing alongside Evan Peters playing him, now only the remnants of the arrogance we see in the reenactment left behind, sharply reminds you of the fall from grace these boys deservedly went through. Plus Barry Keoghan from The Killing of a Sacred Deer is in it, proving that unsettlingly stiff is NOT in fact his natural state.
Gerald’s Game (Mike Flanagan, 2017)
I wish there was a shorthand way to say I wrote about this in my 50 Films You Should Watch list so I’m gonna keep it short but here we are! This was great! If The Haunting of Hill House isn’t proof enough, Gerald’s Game (not to take away any credit from Stephen King) is a reminder that Mike Flanagan is the king of subtle, niggling sensation in your stomach that something is about to go very wrong horror. I hear he and Ari Aster have a timeshare situation going on with the crown.
The Ritual (David Bruckner, 2017)
Okay, so this is the film that made me realise we should all be very scared of forests. Nope, all the documentaries into the Aokigahara Forest weren’t enough, apparently. I subjected myself to this too, as if my unfit, cold-blooded, bug-fearing, scared of the dark ass doesn’t already have enough concerns about my survival odds in the great outdoors.
Really though, setting aside, this film maintains the sense of dread throughout and keeps you guessing what’s going on until the very end. Much like The Descent, the group dynamic and characters are realistic enough that it adds to the believability of a scenario I, in principle, know would never happen to the extent that I might keep away from vast, wooded spaces for a while just in case.
Dumbo (Tim Burton, 2019)
If film Twitter came across this post and saw I’d placed Dumbo in a higher tier than If Beale Street Could Talk I can only imagine the outrage. And sure, the latter is probably a much higher quality film. But sometimes a movie, for reasons you can’t quite put your finger on, gets you right in the sweet spot, and Dumbo did that for me. Maybe it was that the CGI elephant reminded me of my cat (I know, leave me alone), maybe I was emotional that day, I don’t know, all I know is that I cried like 5 times and was smiling for the rest of it-to be fair, the exploitation of animals for our entertainment is something that is still very much going on and that was something that was playing on my mind a lot whilst I was watching it. IRL Dumbos should be free too. Dumbo rights.
The VVitch (Robert Eggers, 2016)
This film taught me that there’s nothing wrong with joining a coven of young witches and getting naked and levitating around a fire. And that’s an important life lesson. Plus it gave us the quote “wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”, which is not only so perfectly creepy and simultaneously empowering that I had to get it tattooed but also, created ASMR. I just made that last bit up obviously but Black Philip getting his own ASMR Youtube channel?
The Descent (Neil Marshall, 2006)
For me, much like The Ritual, The Descent is a perfect horror film: it’s got the ghouls but the situation the characters find themselves in is also terrifying by its own merit. The reason The Descent made it onto my 50 Films list and the Ritual didn’t is because, let’s be honest, it’s 2020 and you can get mobile signal in most places. You could probably at least make a 999 call if you got lost in a forest. If you DID get stuck in an underground cave and it collapsed in on itself, you’d be pretty fucked; the idea of it makes me shudder and I will never set foot in an underground tunnel at any point in my life for any amount of money EVER after seeing this. Also, the women in this are great and the creatures in this are genuinely quite terrifying, especially the first time you see them.
Chicago (Rob Marshall, 2003)
Ah, Chicago, the last film on the God Tier™, proving that this list is in no particular order. Because WHAT A FIM. WHY DON’T PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIS MORE?! Like don’t get me wrong, I know it deservedly won Best Picture in 2003 but I’m talking about right now! I mean, fucking Titanic is still out here getting referenced left, right and centre and yet Chicago gets paid dust! Can you tell I’m mad and that I think Titanic is hugely overrated?! Is that maybe coming across?!
ALL the songs are bops, Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot (I saw someone on Letterboxd say that Catherine Zeta-Jones in this film was their bisexual awakening and honestly, if I hadn’t already known I was a raging bisexual, same, because I FELT things in that All That Jazz opening) and Cell Block Tango is the revenge fantasy anthem I never knew I needed. Smart, tongue in cheek, beautifully shot and makes men look like little bitches which is probably why my dad hated it but what did I expect.
Good Tier
Zombieland: Double Tap (Ruben Fleischer, 2019)
Onto the first film of the good tier, Zombieland: Double Tap definitely exceeded my expectations. I was super worried about the prospect of a sequel as I love the first one so much and assumed it would be crap. Obviously, it doesn’t match up to the original because the original WAS so original, but it was still a fun, easy, witty ride. And I was SO glad they didn’t *SPOILERS AHEAD* kill off Tallahassee at the end because I really thought that was coming and it seemed so predictable and unnecessary. Highlight was the introduction of the lookalikes at Graceland.
Judy (Rupert Goold, 2019)
So, this is the first of two consecutive rants I’m about to go on about Oscar nominations and people’s reactions online. Prepare yourself.
I’ll start with the underlying message: just because you think something else deserves the praise more, doesn’t mean the film/album/*insert whatever artistic medium you wish here* that IS getting the praise is shit.
Like people are angry that Lupita Nyongo wasn’t nominated for best actress for her performance in Us which is COMPLETELY valid as she carried that film on her back. In the same vein, people are also angry that more women of colour haven’t been nominated for best actress. Also valid; I’ve yet to see The Farewell but I’ve heard great things about Akwafina’s performance and I love her so even though I haven’t seen it, I’m gonna take the general consensus that she should’ve been nominated too. The Oscars definitely has a problem with recognising the work of POC. BUT, because of this, people are angry that Renee Zellweger has been nominated for her performance in Judy, saying that it’s typical “Oscar bait”. I agree, it is typical Oscar bait. However, a lot of the people saying this will in the same breath say (or tweet rather) that they haven’t actually SEEN Judy.
How can you possibly say that Renee Zellweger doesn’t deserve any of the praise she’s getting when you haven’t even seen the film? Don’t get me wrong, the film itself is good but not outstanding (hence its place in this tier), but you can see Renee genuinely put her heart and soul into this film; it was powerful, and it was sympathetic but it was also nuanced and subtle where they could’ve just capitalised on all the sensationalised stories of the actions of a woman clearly deeply suffering in her final years and had it be full of shouting and screaming. The Wizard of Oz has always kind of felt like home to me because of the childhood nostalgia factor and so I’ve always been interested in Judy and I think Renee captured her heart and her spirit in a way she would be deeply honoured by. Maybe the film itself doesn’t deserve the acclaim it’s getting but I think Zellweger definitely deserves the nom and I think most people who’ve actually seen it wouldn’t contest that.
Joker (Todd Philipps, 2019)
Okay so second rant. I’m sorry. I have a lot of feelings. Most of them aimed at the annoying tendency of internet users, Film Twitter™ and Letterboxd users I’m looking at you in particular, to be wildly exaggerative.
There just seems to be no nuance online. It’s not just yeah, I didn’t like the film personally and the message could be perceived in a certain way by certain individuals, it’s I HATE THIS FILM AND IT’S DANGEROUS AND THE DIRECTOR FUCKING SUCKS. I noticed this trend when La La Land came out (which if I had watched last year would certainly be in God tier for me). It’s like, if a film initially receives a lot of praise and buzz, there’s almost this wave of compensatory vehement criticism in response that’s usually disproportionate to how controversial the film actually is. People didn’t like that Joker was popular because they didn’t like Joker so suddenly it’s the worst film ever and the possibility of it getting any critical acclaim is wrong. I even saw people berating Todd Philipps for channelling Martin Scorsese as he’s the only person to ever be influenced and take direction from one of the most dominant figures in film of the 20th and 21st century. I mean, what’s wrong with that?! If it was any other director, it’d be called homage. But because everything has to be seen through this malicious lens, its copying.
I think one of the few very valid criticisms about Joker was that it further perpetuates the idea that psychotic people are dangerous, and I can totally see where they’re coming from. At the same time, we have to accept that whilst the majority of people who are psychotic aren’t a danger to anyone apart from themselves, most “dangerous” people don’t just become dangerous because they thought, fuck it, why not? A lot of people in the prison system ARE suffering with some kind of mental illness. The character’s psychosis doesn’t make him dangerous, it’s his underlying resentment and sense of entitlement that grows throughout the film that makes him dangerous, and I think a lot of people seem to miss this point. They say that the way the film ends implies Philipps is justifying the actions of the films protagonist. However, we KNOW the Joker is an unreliable narrator, he’s one of pop culture’s most infamous villains and that being said, both in film and in the real world, few villains see themselves as the villain. Joker is about why HE thinks he’s justified in doing what he does, not why he IS justified in doing what he does because he’s not, and that’s pretty clear from the moment he shoots someone in the head on live TV. Honestly, I think there’s a bit of wilful misinterpretation going on because people don’t like that film
I liked Joker. It was gritty, it was interesting, and sufficiently dark. I didn’t think it was the best film of the year but I understand why it got the praise it did. Obviously, it’s okay that people disagree and DON’T like it. But can we please get a bit more well-acquainted with the middle ground?
It: Chapter Two (Andres Muschietti, 2019)
Okay, essays over. Back to regular scheduled programming of less impassioned reviews. Though I will say I deserved better than my Letterboxd comment of “so you can just fucking roast Pennwyise to death?” getting absolutely 0 traction. One day my grand total of 5 followers, one of which is my sister, will recognise my brilliance (lol).
It’s hard to say how much I really liked this as I think my perspective of how much I did enjoy it is warped by how much I disliked the first one. Child actors really aren’t my thing and the only cast members I warmed to in the first one were Finn Wolfhard and Jack Dylan Grazer whereas the cast here were a lot more likeable, imo. Bill Hader, Jessica Chastain and James Ransone were all great, with the only let down being James Mcavoy; I love him, don’t get me wrong, but I just think he was really miscast in this role.
Another thing I enjoyed a lot more about this instalment was that due to the more episodic/anthology-like/Creepshow-esque structure with each character conquering different monsters from their past individually, the narrative felt like it had a lot more direction, and it didn’t drag as much despite it having a significantly longer runtime. I haven’t read the Stephen King novels and I don’t know much of the pacing issues are down to them so this is me coming at it from a screenwriting angle but it felt as if the climax of the first film just kept going on and on. Every time I thought it had finished there’d be another confrontation between the kids and Pennywise whereas Chapter 2 seemed to have a more definitive third act and I appreciated that.
Rocketman (Dexter Fletcher, 2019)
So, here’s one where I WILL agree with the general online consensus: if Rami Malek got nominated for playing Freddie Mercury last year and Renee got nominated for playing Judy Garland, why the fuck didn’t Taron Egerton get one for playing Elton John? Why didn’t Rocketman itself get a nomination when Judy did? Though I personally preferred Judy because I’m more interested in her story, technically and narratively Rocketman is the better film in my opinion. This was so cleverly edited and sequenced and told with such a brutal honesty on Elton John’s part (it was co-produced by his husband David Furnish and he was heavily involved in everything from the set to the script), that I can only come to the conclusion that the obligatory biopic nomination only comes when the focus of said biopic is no longer with us as a kind of honorary thing. Whilst something like Bohemian Rhapsody was much more of an easy watch (which just goes to show how glossed over Freddie Mercury’s life was in the film), the way the story was told, by the time we got to I’m Still Standing that happy ending felt so earned.
Aladdin (Guy Ritchie, 2019)
You can hate all you want, Prince Ali and Never Had a Friend Like Me are fucking bops and somehow they were even better in this incarnation of the film. I was initially hesitant about Will Smith being cast but rather than trying to impersonate Robin Williams he went his own route and it really worked. He was the highlight of the film. It was undeniably visually stunning too. Madonna’s ex did good.
Us (Jordan Peele, 2019)
Ah, I feel so conflicted when it comes to Us. Like, there were some really strong points and it’s definitely a good standalone horror movie. It’s just you can’t help but compare it to Get Out, and with that unsatisfactory exposition dump ending, I left feeling so disappointed. It seemed to me that Jordan Peele got in a bit over his head here with trying to tie such a vague social metaphor and the actual in-universe plot together, and so ended up leaving both a bit half-baked. He tried to OutPeele himself and for me, it didn’t work.
The doppelgängers were so scary as this ambiguous, vaguely threatening presence that if you are gonna give us a full blown, sit down explanation of why they exist it needs to be really bloody good. And this explanation didn’t make much sense. For example, *SPOILERS AHEAD* I imagine that the tethered just not being able to walk up the escalator into the “real world” was supposed to be some kind of metaphor for social mobility but it’s not fleshed out enough to work. In our world, there are REASONS why the idea of social mobility is flawed. In the film, it’s just like gee, if they chose to just walk up the escalator and go on this murderous rampage now, why couldn't they have decided to do it years ago back before they all lost their fucking minds? Why were they just copying the originals for all those years? HOW did they know what they were doing? See, the metaphor as I understand it is supposed to be that we depend on the oppression of others like us in order to maintain our social status, but not only is this kind of too general a statement to try and use a feature length film to make, I don’t really understand how this dynamic works within the narrative of the film. Technically, there's nothing to stop the tethered and the originals co-existing apart from the tethered deciding not to walk up the fucking escalator. We’re not talking a bourgeoisie-proletariat relationship here. The explanation of it all just being a “government project gone wrong” was too vague seeing as the plot working seemed prior to this to hinge onto something vaguely supernatural and the eventual plan of the doppelgängers seemingly had no purpose or application to the real world like the climax of Get Out did. It just left me feeling kind of like...why? Why did this all happen? When the ending and the twist was that predictable (the old Pretty Little Liars finale style twin switcheroo was blatantly obvious from the mother’s “it’s like she’s a different person” line near the beginning, let’s be real), I was expecting some final revelation that flipped my expectation on its head or at least felt helped things click into place. Instead, it seemed a bit hamfisted and like I was supposed to feel things were deeper and more significant than they actually were.
All that being said, I appreciate that if anyone other than the writer of Get Out had come out with this movie, I probably wouldn’t have these issues. Us was funny, it was fresh, and the concept of doppelgängers is something I’m so glad to see brought back into our modern pop culture database. The people are right, Lupita was incredible in this and it is a travesty that she didn’t get nominated. My sister, who was so creeped out by her vocal performance that she had her fingers in her ears every time Red spoke, still won’t let me attempt an impression of it. And that Fuck the Police sequence? Iconic.
On the Basis of Sex (Mimi Leder, 2019)
I apologise in advance for the shittiest “review” I’ll ever write, but honestly I can’t remember all too much about this film other than it being good. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I’m sorry. You’re a cool lady.
If Beale Street Could Talk (Barry Jenkins, 2019)
EURGH, THIS WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FIM. The score, the shots, the rawness. I imagine it’s devastatingly real. Like, *SPOILERS AHEAD* you think there’s going to be a happy ending but there’s not. It should be disappointing but it’s an honest choice. And side note: fuck those annoying middle aged white ladies in the seats behind me and my friend who lost their shit and started giggling every time the N-word was used, JFC. I hate living in a Tory stronghold.
Cam (Daniel Goldhaber, 2018)
So, as I said, I’m a fan of the whole doppelgänger thing. It freaks me out. The point in this film where the protagonist is approaching her bedroom door whilst she watches HERSELF livestreaming from inside that same bedroom had my heart in my mouth wondering what she was going to encounter on the other side. And you see, the ending of this was a lot more ambiguous than the ending of Us, so I should’ve had less questions. Whilst I’ve seen other people saying it WAS unsatisfactory and that they felt like we were owed more of an explanation, I liked the simplicity of the answer we got and the wiggle room it leaves for our own interpretation. The way I see it, given that we were told by the fan the protagonist meets with in the motel room that *SPOILERS AHEAD* it was a case of some kind of software copying these women’s likenesses to steal their viewers and thus their profits, is that Cam is a kind of a commentary on the capitalist exploitation of women’s bodies and the demand for (and desensitisation towards) sexually violent content; we don't necessarily need to know who is behind the virtual cloning, which is terrifyingly believable given how realistic some of the deepfakes I’ve seen are, because it doesn’t matter. We're basically told money is the motive and we know the kind of lengths some people will go, and someone DID go to in Cam, to in order to make a shitload of money and that’s as true in real life as it is scary. On the other hand, if you want to believe there’s a more supernatural presence behind the events of the film, there’s enough left to the imagination that you can go down that route too. Some films are better left un-exposition dumped and this is the proof. My one criticism, is that, like many films, it would be even better if directed by a woman; I’ve seen people say that its portrayal of online sex work isn’t entirely accurate and though I can’t say with certainty that women working in this industry weren’t consulted in the first place, I imagine a female director would not only be more likely to listen to their concerns but could translate the confusion and fear that comes with being expected to makes oneself sexually desirable to get ahead in the world but then shamed and used for doing so even more viscerally. A few tweaks and it’d be God Tier.
Colette (Wash Westmoreland, 2019)
The costumes, sets, and Keira were so, so stunning. Also it was just an inspiring, beautiful story. The navigation of womanhood, so called “deviant” sexuality and self-expression against the backdrop of early 20th century Paris with a load of Edwardian era tailoring thrown in, it’s everything I could possibly want and more; 10/10 moodboard content.
The Boy (William Brent Bell, 2016)
I can’t believe this film was made in 2016, and it almost makes me move it down to mid tier based on the fact that a lot of the allowances I made for cheese factor I made on the assumption it came out earlier in the decade. BUT, that being said, I was creeped out for a good portion of this film. Most horrors I watch and I’m probably a bit too chilled (a head comes off or some witchy ass ghost screams into the camera and my only thought is some kind of judgement of the SFX), and yet I felt like watching this behind my hands. I don’t know what it is about dolls and puppets, Chucky was my childhood fear even though I never actually watched the film, but something about the uncanny valley of it all makes me just spend the whole time they’re on screen silently praying they don’t start moving or talking. So in a way, given the resolution of the film *SPOILERS AHEAD*, the premise of The Boy was actually a lot scarier to me than the reveal of what was really going on. Someone hiding in my walls? NBD. That demons are real and that they live inside creepy old dolls? Terrifying. Why does everybody I debate this with disagree!? You can't call the police on a demon! At least with a human being you can stick them with the pointy ending of something! Regardless, I enjoyed the journey and trying to work out how things would end and if there IS anybody secretly living inside my house right now, even if you are a supposedly dead murderous family member (last time I checked I didn’t have any of those so I should be all good), kindly vacate. Thanks.
Oprhan (Jaume Collet-Serra, 2009)
So the fact that this film is based on a real life case makes this all the more terrifying. It was a bit campy and tacky at times but the shot of *SPOILERS AHEAD* Esther taking off her makeup in the mirror and revealing her true age will always be iconic. Plus I love Vera Farmiga, even though I did struggle to see her as anyone other than Norma Bates.
First Reformed (Paul Schrader, 2018)
A hauntingly beautiful film with a lot of room for interpretation. There were so many gorgeous shots and so much subtext, this is proper 10/10 media studies essay material.
The Invitation (Karyn Kusama, 2015)
I would say the concept and implications of this film, which don’t fully hit you til the final shots, are a lot better than the film itself. It feels very realistic though and is definitely tense.
As Above, So Below (John Erick Dowdle, 2014)
I was so stoned when I watched this that a lot of the allegory and Dante’s inferno references went straight over my head, and it just seemed absolutely balls to the wall wild. I couldn’t buy that the characters would just KEEP GOING either when things began to get terrifying, like people in horror films really out here making the most nonsensical decisions and it drives me mad. But anyway, it was definitely entertaining and there’s a lot more to it in terms of plot and mythology than most similar quality horrors and I appreciate that
Climax (Gaspar Noe, 2018)
Climax is an interesting one that I think I’ll have to watch again to judge how much I truly like it. As with Us, I know it’s a good film, but I think my expectations of what it was going to be left me slightly disappointed. See, when I read about the premise I assumed that the horror was going to come from seeing the perspective of the characters on said acid trip and that leaves so much room for any kind of terrifying visuals you want whether that be something based in realism or fucked up creatures of the imagination. Buuuuut, it wasn’t that at all; at no point does Climax take place from the first person perspective of any of the characters. Similar to Darren Aronofsky’s Mother, the horror comes from not being able to do anything but watch as everyone starts losing their minds and the situation gets increasingly more dire. It’s pure stress; the acting is so unnervingly good that you really do feel like you’re watching some unintentionally horrific incident take place. That’s not a bad thing-I like it when films make me feel something intense, whether that emotion be positive or negative. It was just a different viewing experience to the one I had precipitated.
Mid Tier
Nativity (Debbie Isitt, 2009)
I find Mr.Poppy hilarious. Does that make me a child? Probably. I’m not really one for Christmas movies but this one’s alright.
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (André Øvredal, 2019)
I get that it’s based off a book so it’s not exactly like the “monsters” were a secret in the first place, but for those of us who didn’t read the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books as a kid, my main beef with this film was that they basically revealed all of said monsters in the trailer. Like how It: Chapter 2 spoiled the scene with Beverly in the old lady’s apartment but with EVERY. SINGLE. CREATURE. The only one that wasn’t was the “jangly man” and the only takeaway I have from him is the “jangly in the streets, but is he jangly in the sheets?” Letterboxd comment I read afterwards. Like the creature designs are the selling point of this film and by showing us them all before we’ve even seen it, any anticipation that would’ve built up from their reveal was kind of gone. Plus, it definitely felt like the writers were trying to ride on the hype train of “It” when they wrote this-only they made it even more childish. I mean, I know it was classed as PG-13 in the US which is maybe part of the reason it was so tame but the Woman in Black was a 12 when it was released here and it could be the bias of my 13 year old brain but I remember that being terrifying to watch in the cinema.
Also, I found it weird how *SPOILERS AHEAD* a couple of the main characters died and there didn’t really seem to be any consequences? Idk, maybe that’s because I found them all a bit one dimensional but I’ve seen others make the same criticism so I don’t think so.
Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t a BAD film. It just wasn’t super good.
Charlie’s Angels (Elizabeth Banks, 2019)
I’ve never seen the 2000s Charlie’s Angels so I really don’t have anything to compare to, but I don’t think this was THAT bad. I was fairly entertained throughout and I enjoyed Naomi Scott and Kristen Stewart’s characters. My main issue was the unnecessary inclusion of Noah Centineo, and that weird ass montage at the beginning of stock video shots of girls just...doing miscellaneous things. Why, Elizabeth Banks, why!?
Toy Story 4 (Josh Cooley, 2019)
In some ways, I see why Toy Story 4 was narratively necessary: co-dependency had been a running theme throughout and we needed to see Woody (I feel stupid saying this considering he’s a fucking toy but allow it) realise that he can exist independently of Andy, and that there’s more to life than pleasing somebody else. The way Toy Story 4 ended felt like a satisfying conclusion to his character arc, and as well as the animation being top tier, Forky was a hilarious addition to the cast. However, I don’t think it carried the emotional weight of the 3rd Toy Story, which I think people had accepted as the last instalment and had used to say goodbye to the franchise, and therefore the sceptic in me thinks that the obvious purpose of this addition was a cash grab. I don’t doubt that a lot of people worked incredibly hard on it-I’m just saying that the propelling force behind the film probably wasn’t “the people need to see Woody’s character growth” and that was quite apparent throughout.
Doctor Sleep (Mike Flanagan, 2019)
There were some really beautiful scenes in Doctor Sleep; the astral projection sequences in particular were magnificent and I loved Rebecca Ferguson as the villain. Stylistically, though I didn’t find out he was the director until I was writing this up, you can definitely tell it’s Mike Flanagan, and like I’ve said, he does horror very tastefully. Unfortunately, I just wasn’t all that interested in the premise and I wasn’t hugely invested in grown up Danny Torrance either. The execution was great and the return to the Overlook was brilliant, of course, but the story just wasn’t for me and nothing much sticks out as being a particularly intriguing plot point.
Mary Queen of Scots (Josie Rourke, 2019)
What to say about Mary Queen of Scots other than...yeah, it was alright. I mean, I really should’ve liked it more than I did, because these specific events were part of the Edexcel A-Level history curriculum (Can I get some Rebellion and Disorder Under the Tudors students representation up in here!?) and I usually love seeing history translated onto screen, plus it centred around Margot Robbie and Saoirse Ronan. It was just very...meh. I feel like there’s so much more complex a story here than was told. Both women were undoubtedly a lot more complicated than this film made them out to be and I think to reduce Mary Queen of Scots to a Mary Sue-ish heroine was a disappointing choice. Plus, if we’re gonna talk historical accuracy (which all the racists came out of their caves to discuss at the time), Mary and Elizabeth never actually met; I’m sure there was a more creative way to explore their dynamic than by forcing an interaction that never actually happened.
Apostle (Gareth Evans, 2018)
There were elements of this film I really liked; the mythology behind the cult, I.E what the townsfolk actually worshipped when you stripped away all the secrecy was pretty interesting. However, I felt it depended too much on atmosphere and not enough on plot, and I didn’t warm to any of the characters.
Searching (Aneesh Chaganty, 2018)
It’s difficult because technically, Searching is obviously an ingenious film. My issue is the way it ended, which was imo, super anti-climatic, and honestly pretty predictable in that it seemed like the writers just went out of their way *SPOILERS AHEAD* to make the culprit the person viewers would’ve ruled out by default for shock value, and then work out WHY that person was the culprit from there. I was expecting something a lot darker to be behind the protagonist’s daughter’s disappearance-irl, these situations usually are-and so maybe it’s just me being a bit of a sadist but I was disappointed by how things resolved themselves.
Deliver Us from Evil (Scott Derrickson, 2014)
So, this isn’t boring. It’s interesting to have a horror navigated through the lens of something as procedural as a police investigation. But ultimately, the acting isn’t great, there’s very few scary moments, and it’s a little cheesy. As horrors go, it’s pretty shallow-it is what it says on the tin.
Dumplin’ (Anne Fletcher, 2018)
I watched this right at the beginning of the year and I can���t remember all too much about it, but I remember not hating it? See, looking at the cast, Odeya Rush and Dove Cameron are both in it which would suggest I’d come away hating MYSELF instead but yeah...I got nothing.
Lights Out (David F.Sandberg, 2016)
The concept is very scary, the execution not so much, and the actual storyline is a little cheesy. I found myself just being like OH MY GOD, IT’S BELLA’S DAD FROM TWILIGHT! And then *SPOILERS AHEAD* getting mad that they did Charlie Swan dirty like that by killing him off in the first 10/15 minutes.
The Goldfinch (John Crowley, 2019)
So I LOVED the book of The Goldfinch. I read it after the Secret History and even though most people seem to prefer the latter, the former hit me right in the sweet spot. The length was almost one of my favourite things about it; I felt by the end that I came to know the character so well he felt like someone I knew in real life. When I heard Ansel Elgort was cast as Theo, I was really happy; I’m not necessarily a huge fan of him as an actor, I've only ever seen him in shitty teen-y dramas which I forced myself to like at the time E.G. The Fault in Our Stars and Divergent, but he looks kind of exactly how I pictured Theo looking. Almost like an Evanna Lynch as Luna Lovegood situation. And then honestly, the actual film came around, and I found myself much preferring the young Theo sections. I get that Theo is quite a muted character and I hate to properly slate anyone’s performance, but Ansel as him felt a bit flat. The casting in general was pretty whack; I love Nicole Kidman but she didn’t feel right as Mrs.Barbour and it seemed that they added a lot to her character to the detriment of Hobie’s character who was a much bigger part of Theo’s life in the book. Also, can we talk about Finn Wolfhard as Boris? I’m sorry, but that accent was godawful. Really bad. Boris’ accent was always supposed to be kind of ambiguous but this was just butchered Russian. Another gripe that my friend and I, who also read the book, had with the Vegas section of the film (which was otherwise probably the best part) was that they never properly explored the complexity of Boris and Theo’s relationship. Obviously I’m not saying that I want 2 minors to shoot a sex scene but it could have been referenced when they reunite as adults because the kiss on the head when they part in Vegas seemed misleadingly platonic. It was heavily implied in the book that there was some kind of love that went beyond friendship between the two and I didn’t get that in the film at all.
Ultimately, when you try and adapt a book as long as the Goldfinch, you’re always going to have some pacing issues and people complaining that things were left out or that X or Y character didn’t have enough screen time. But in ways, I think the fault here was trying to stay TOO faithful in the limited time available. They definitely could have focussed less on certain relationships and more on others, and when it comes down to it, I think we lost a lot of the grittiness of the original book for the sake of pretty visuals.
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (Quentin Tarantino, 2019)
Don’t get me wrong, this would 100% be in shit tier if it wasn’t for the last hour or so of the film and all the Manson lore which is so disappointing because I love Tarantino films and I love that era. As for the first couple of hours, I loved the vibe and I love Margot Robbie, and I think it was very respectful towards the Tate family (if anything radiated through the screen more than anything else it was Sharon Tate’s sweetness), but I just wasn’t that invested in Leo or Brad’s characters-it all just felt a bit pointless. I really like Brad Pitt and even that couldn’t really save it for me. Maybe if you took away the remaining 2 hours and 20 minutes of Leo DiCaprio making vague allusions to his own career to a girl only slightly younger than the combined age of all girlfriends past I’d enjoy it more but then I don’t think there’d be much footage left. I guess we should just be grateful that Tarantino managed to refrain from unnecessarily sprinkling the N-word into every other line of his script this time, right?
Also.
SO. MANY. FEET.
But then again, this did result in Brad publicly mocking Tarantino’s foot fetish during his speech at the SAG awards so...I’ll allow it. Sometimes kink shaming is okay. Especially when it’s this guy:
Isn’t it Romantic (Todd Strauss-Schulson, 2019)
I guess as romantic comedies go it wasn’t AWFUL because it was self-aware but still just not my cup of tea and it didn’t really make me laugh. Plus, I feel like it did just follow the plot of a conventional rom-com in the end so...what was it all for, you know?
Green Room (Jeremy Saulnier, 2016)
I think my disappointment with this film was a case of too high expectations. It wasn’t as gory as I hoped, in fact, there was very little on screen gore at all. I was just expecting something very messed up and I didn’t get that. But then again we did get Maeby from Arrested Development singing a fuck Nazis song so I guess that was a nice surprise?
Shit Tier
Birdbox (Susanne Bier, 2018)
First the disappointment of the Goldfinch, and now Birdbox (although they were chronologically the other way round but for the sake of this review, let’s just ignore that). It really is a bad year for bird films.
It’s weird because when this first came out I remember everyone hyping it up and making memes about it and stuff and then I actually watched it and dear god, it was boring. Honestly, who paid you lot to pretend you cared enough about it enough to make content? And where can I get in on this action?
I mean it didn’t start off terribly but then they killed off SARAH FUCKING PAULSON and somehow managed to make SANDRA FUCKING BULLOCK unlikeable. How does one do that? The mind baffles.
Pet Sematary (Kevin Kolsch & Dennis Widmyer, 2019)
The kid acting was bad, the leads were meh and there wasn’t one creepy moment. This should be SO MUCH MORE hard hitting than it actually was given the subject matter and it just fell completely flat. I will say, though, *SPOILERS AHEAD* that the ending was appropriately doom and gloom and even though I’ve seen lots of others say they hate it it was probably the only thing I actually liked.
The Lion King (Jon Favreau, 2019)
Seth Rogen and Billie Eichner were the only good things about this which is sad because I fucking love Donald Glover and I was so excited when he was cast as Simba. Like, it was pretty but empty and unnecessary and I’m not one of these people who think CGI remakes always have to be this way-I loved Dumbo and I liked the live-action Jungle Book too! I just think the people who made this cared too much about good CGI and realism and less about heart. There was no personality whatsoever and it’s such a waste when you think about the fact that they had Donald and Beyonce on board.
Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence, 2018)
Eurgh, I hated this. I think Jennifer Lawrence is stunning and I usually love her films but every shot of her in this felt so male-gaze oriented, even the ones which were sexually violent, which I found to be completely unnecessary in the first place. At times it felt almost torture-porn-y which was not what I expected at all seeing as the marketing made it seem like some kind of female empowerment movie.
It Comes at Night (Trey Edward Shults, 2017)
I literally can’t remember fucking anything from this film. Clearly there is a very, very fine line between atmospheric and boring.
Warm Bodies (Jonathan Levine, 2013)
Maybe it’s because I watched this about 6 years too late and the whole human-girl-falls-in-love-with-supernatural-creature hype train has long since left the station but I couldn’t even finish it. Cutesy necrophilia ain’t for me, sorry Nicholas Hoult. Still love ya. You’ll always be Tony Stonem to me xoxo
Million Dollar Baby (Clint Eastwood, 2005)
I’m pretty sure this movie won a lot of awards so I’m sure this is a very unpopular opinion but the way this film ended was so...depressing. SO depressing. Did it have to be THAT depressing? The Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode outsold.
This is the range Oscar winning actress Hilary Swank wishes she had.
Would You Rather (David Guy Levy, 2013)
Started off well but became cheesy and predictable as it went on. The acting wasn’t great either plus there was another unnecessary attempted rape scene here too.
Christmas with the Kranks (Joe Roth, 2004)
So I watched this movie in the run up to Christmas because my best friend and her mum were referencing it like it was this cult classic (which I guess for some reason it is?) and I’m sorry to her and her mum but what the hell is this shit?! It’s not even so bad it’s good. It’s just bad.
The plot, the characters, EVERYTHING, it’s ridiculous on every level. I wasn’t into it enough to suspend my disbelief that anyone’s neighbours would actually care THAT much that they weren’t celebrating Christmas. Go on your damn cruise, take me with you whilst you're at it, ease my seasonal depression! I wouldn’t mind so much if it was funny or if the protagonists were likeable but it wasn’t and they’re not. Nobody’s actions made any sense. It didn’t put me in the Christmas spirit at all it just made me angry that Jamie Lee Curtis’ agent made her do this shit. She’s a scream queen goddess and she deserves better.
ANYWAY.
I’m now realising that I should have started on shit tier and worked my way up to god tier because now this post has ended on the rather sour note of me getting worked up over Christmas with the Kranks, lol. As always, these are just my opinions and I love to hear other people’s; when it comes to something like this, it’s all a matter of preference and there really isn’t a right or wrong answer, so I’m open to discussion!
With the Oscars less than a week away now I rushed a little to get this out on time, so apologies in advance if anything doesn’t make any sense or there’s any typos, I will look back over it at some point over the next couple of days to check.
But if you read to the end thank you! And stay tuned for my overview of Paris Haute Couture Week S/S 2020 if that’s something you’re interested in as that will most likely be next post!
Lauren x
#cinematography#film#oscars#tier list#tier ranking#film tier#2019 films#horror#knives out#ana de armas#rian johnson#midsommar#ari aster#florence pugh#booksmart#kaitlyn dever#film review#film recommendation#musicals#disney#sorry to bother you#tessa thompson#lakeith stanfield#jennifer lawrence#hustlers#margot robbie#quentin tarantino#tarantino#once upon in hollywood#stephen king
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Cottagecore Films (pt. 8)
Second Time Around (2016)
TW: character death - possible suicide (offscreen)
starring Linda Thorson, Stuart Margolin, Alexis Harrison, Louis Del Grande, Laura de Carteret
After enjoying a night at the opera, the vivacious senior Katherine suffers a major fall, breaking her hip and sending her into rehabilitation. Despite her protests, she has to stay in a retirement home to be cared for while she recovers. There, she meets a variety of new faces, including the charismatic and flirtatious Charlie and the defeated and introverted Isaac. When Katherine damages a piece of clothing, Isaac offers to repair it, at which point the two strike an unlikely friendship. As their relationship grows, the two get to know each other’s pasts, presents, and hopes for the future, and things truly escalate after a formal dance hosted by the home. Even when their situations grow dire, they still find room for love. Even after they both recover, they stay together, choosing to pursue happiness as a dynamic pair.
This has to be one of the sweetest, funniest, and liveliest movies I’ve seen in a long time. It takes a very real look at what life is like for the elderly in retirement homes, but it doesn’t dwell on the depressing aspects, instead choosing to rejoice in the many types of love. The characters felt so genuine, and I was constantly rooting for their success. For example, I’ve never been so engrossed in a scene of people getting ready for an event; I was cheering them on the entire time. You really felt the joy they got out of dressing up for this one special night. How can you not feel happy when people are so confident in themselves, and are ready to take the night? The acting in that regard was truly exceptional. It’s one thing to get into character, but the actors in this film seemed to feel their characters’ stories to the fullest, and it truly came across on screen. This film defies the stereotype for geriatrics to sit around, aspiring to nothing, by showing us exactly how unique and full of life they still are. The characters experience such a plethora of emotions, but it’s the acting that truly draws you into their reality. And where do I even begin on the chemistry? Every relationship in this film was as real as if it wasn’t a film at all. Love, attraction, envy, jealousy, every feeling a character directed toward another was impeccably real. The only critique I could possibly have for this film is the camera work, which was somewhat unstable at times, but it doesn’t detract from the quality of the film at all. If you’re looking for a joyful romance, this is the one. 8/10
Under the Eiffel Tower (2018)
starring Judith Godrèche, Matt Walsh, Reid Scott, Dylan Gelula, Gary Cole
When bourbon connoisseur Stuart loses his job, his friend’s family invites him on their trip to France. It doesn’t go well for long, however, when the 50-year-old proposes to his friend’s 26-year-old daughter beneath the Eiffel Tower. The family cuts him off, continuing on their trip and leaving Stuart to figure out his own way home. In the airport, Stuart meets professional footballer Liam, who encourages him to use his train ticket to Bordeaux and enjoy France while he’s there. On the train, the two meet Louise, an artistic winery owner, on her way home from Paris. The two men quickly find themselves stranded, and are taken in by Louise to stay in her chateau. Chemistry grows between Stuart and Louise, until several miscommunications erupt and send Stuart and Liam packing. This isn’t the end for the duo’s misadventures, however, as Liam runs into a familiar face and Stuart realizes he’d left behind the only thing that made him feel alive.
This movie was extremely disappointing. Not only did it have every cliché in the book, the characters were thoroughly boring and fake. Stuart was a highly unrelatable character, for starters. He’s introduced as an immature alcoholic who doesn’t think clearly and proposes to a woman half his age, already someone that the audience will clearly have no attachment to. Then for the rest of the film he’s portrayed as an artistic, business-minded, loving man, which doesn’t fit at all with how he was at the start. And there was no character growth to explain it. He just changed all of a sudden, yet he still reverted back to a bumbling child every time he saw his friend’s family. Liam was similarly immature and poorly behaved, never taking no for an answer and constantly forcing Louise to spend time with him. We’re clearly supposed to like him because he’s suave and handsome, and has a Scottish accent. Louise was a very dull character as well. We saw her paint once, and suddenly she’s supposed to have depth without the film actually showing it. With all of these negative characters, there’s no sense of satisfaction when Stuart and Louise run off into the sunset together. He’s still weird and creepy. Not to mention how weird and creepy Liam is after making moves on Rosalind. She’s 26 and more than capable of making her own decisions and dating older men, but she was thoroughly repulsed by Stuart and yet forgave Liam of his own age and creepiness only because he had a Scottish accent (yes, that’s what she says in the film). The scenery could have been breathtaking--a vineyard in southern France???--but the film showed next to none of it. Stuart even talks about it but there’s not a single shot of the landscape throughout the entire film. Save yourself the effort. 2/10
Midsommar (2019)
TW: intense gore, suicide (onscreen and offscreen), murder (offscreen), intoxication, drug usage
starring Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor, Vilhelm Blomgren, William Jackson Harper, Will Poulter, Ellora Torchia, Archie Madekwe
A friend group of anthropologists--named Christian, Josh, and Mark--decide to accompany their close friend Pelle on a return trip to his home in Sweden. Dani, currently in mourning over the deaths of her parents and sister, agree to accompany them in an effort to take her mind off her grief. The group arrives at the idyllic commune, the Hårga, to participate in a special celebration that is only held once every 90 years. There they meet Pelle’s brother, Ingemar, and two of his friend’s, Connie and Simon. The group indulges for the first day, trying to learn about the Hårga and their traditions. On the second day, however, the celebration begins, and from the unknowing tourists’ perspective, things begin to spiral out of control. As more questions are raised and more of the commune’s beliefs are dishonored, people start to go missing. While Dani’s suspicions grow, the rest remain willfully ignorant, until only Dani and Christian are left. When Dani becomes the May Queen by winning a dance competition, tradition demands that she help complete the commune’s celebration. While it’s nothing she was prepared for, perhaps it is what she needed in the end.
I found that I enjoyed this movie in an uncomfortable way. I didn’t like it in the way that one would typically “like” a movie, but it was absolutely an excellent film. I don’t particularly appreciate intense gore, and while I understand that this is a horror film, I don’t think it needed to be that present. I suppose it was more to overwhelm the audience and put them in the same mindset as Dani, so in that way it does make sense, but it is very intense. The thing I liked most about this movie is what also made me the most uncomfortable. The character situation is so strange because the main characters are clearly selfish, manipulative, ignorant, arrogant, and disrespectful, without any real redeeming qualities, so you can’t possibly like them, but at the same time you’re unable to sympathize with the cult because of how foreign and violent their customs are. I watched this movie in this uncomfortable, removed but still invested way which I’ve never experienced before. It’s a beautiful film and the acting is incredible, especially from Pugh. The extreme way she depicts Dani’s grief is consistent throughout the movie, but the reactions she receives are vastly different each time, and Pugh adapts to the evolution of the story spectacularly. In summary, this film is an intense, psychologically horrifying art film, and despite being aware of the entire plot prior to watching (I don’t usually watch horror movies), I was still wildly unprepared for what I watched. 10/10
Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Part Five // Part Six // Part Seven
#cottagecore#farmcore#flowercore#cozycore#gardencore#grandmacore#romance movie#horror movie#romance film#horror film#film#film review#movie review#movies#activities#mine
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More Foghorn: The Robert Eggers Q&A.
“I wanted to be able to laugh at misery.” —The Lighthouse director Robert Eggers answers your questions and ours about what he’s wearing on Hallowe’en, being cool with memes, and paying homage to Mary Poppins.
The Lighthouse, out now in select US cinemas and opening nationwide this weekend, is the follow-up to Robert Eggers’ feature debut The Witch, one of our highest-rated films of 2016 and the third highest-rated horror of that year.
Similarly, The Lighthouse is firmly in our top ten narrative features of 2019 and is absolutely tearing up the Letterboxd reviews section with reactions like “Eggers holds nothing back in this film. He takes things far past okay and doesn’t apologize for any of it,” (Logan) and “If a bearded, bulging-eyed Willem Dafoe talking like a pirate for one hundred and ten minutes, shot on high-contrast orthochromatically filtered high-resolution black-and-white celluloid that brings out every follicle and pore doesn’t deserve five stars, I simply don’t know what does” (Jonathan).
The film’s success lies in a combination of obsessively detailed production design, singular technical choices (“a black-and-white movie in a stupid aspect ratio”, as Eggers told Filmmaker magazine), the superb acting partnership of Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson as lighthouse keepers on a far-flung rock, a borderline-ridiculous amount of foghorn in the soundtrack, and—in spite of the characters’ miserable circumstances—a hysterically funny script.
When we spoke to Eggers’ brother and co-writer Max at TIFF, he told us that the writing partnership was “a perfect fit; we trust each other, and I think that’s the big thing about writing teams is you gotta trust each other”. Their brotherly relationship naturally enabled the film’s dialogue to head into comedic territory, even as the story itself descends into hallucinatory horror. “Comedy is about that. You’ve gotta be able to be honest and trust yourselves. We didn’t know how it was going to play but, thankfully, I think the fart jokes work.”
Not only do the fart jokes work; the poetically trippy 1890s dialogue became instantly meme-able. It was no surprise, then, that when we invited the Letterboxd community to contribute questions for this interview, many of them dwelled on the script. But first, with Hallowe’en fast-approaching, we needed to know what Eggers had planned.
A24 has put out a helpful guide for those who want to do Hallowe’en as a 19th-century lighthouse keeper. You’re in the middle of The Lighthouse promo tour, but have you managed to plan yours? Robert Eggers: Hallowe’en was my favorite holiday growing up and I made many elaborate costumes, but now that I’m doing this, I will agree with Marilyn Manson where he says: “Hallowe’en is my day off”. It’s time for everyone else to catch up!
At TIFF, we spoke with your co-writer and brother Max about your collaboration. Letterboxd members Kevin and MrRabbit7 are interested in what the writing process was like with Max. Does that relationship allow more of an ‘anything goes’ approach? I know my brother, so it’s easy for us to write together. My movie that was leaked in the trades a couple days ago [The Northman] I also wrote with another writer. I’m finding, as much as I like writing scripts on my own, it’s fun to collaborate. It’s actually joyful to pass the drafts back and forth and see how you’re lifting each other’s work up.
We had many questions (including from John, Austin and Tyler) about The Lighthouse’s dialect and vernacular. Can you tell us about the work you did in constructing dialogue in unfamiliar languages, including the sources you consulted? It’s a lot of research and there is some quoting the sources directly. There’s much more of that in The Witch, where sentences remain intact. There’s very few intact sentences from the research in this film. There’s certainly many turns-of-phrase. When I’m looking at my primary source material from the period, I’m writing down vocabulary words in my own thesaurus that I can turn to.
I tend not to write in modern English and then translate the dialect. I try to write in the dialect even as I’m learning to do it, so the thesaurus is organized more [as] moods and ideas. I’m washing my eyes with words and hoping something turns up that works as I’m moving forward. You’re studying the sentence structure and trying to find the rules.
Thankfully with The Witch, because it was written in early modern English, which was a golden age of English writing, there were plenty of books available to teach me what the rules were. In studying the various Puritans, I could find how different people broke the rules and did things their own way. With this film it was much harder to find that, but eventually my brother came across the work of Sarah Orne Jewett. She was writing in coastal Maine dialect, interviewing working people to get their dialect. My wife found a thesis written by Evelyn Starr Cutler where she provided rules for different dialects—where are ‘r’s omitted and where are ‘r’s added, so on and so forth—so we could create consistent dialects for both characters.
“Why’d ya spill yer beans?” “Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?” Everyone—even A24’s marketing team—has taken to the film with meme-able gusto (exhibit A: these goofy Lighthouse emoji). How does it feel to have your deeply researched script torn apart in this affectionate, ironic way by internet culture? Does it make you hesitate in your approach to writing and directing these types of lines? (This question brought to you by those who quoted those infamous questions in response to this AMA.) No, it’s cool with me. The Lighthouse was designed to be a black comedy and not just have moments of black comedy. The Witch takes itself very seriously, but I think that there’s something kind of film student-y about how serious it takes itself. I’m glad that people can make PlayMobil and Lego playsets as jokes. You need to be irreverent, and with The Lighthouse I was exploring misery again but I wanted to be able to laugh at misery. Werner Herzog talked about it like, you’re on the floor laughing, you know?
You and your brother both have deep roots in theater. After listening to your A24 podcast with brother-in-arms and Midsommar director Ari Aster, Solly F wants to know which playwrights you look up to, and who was particularly useful in your approach to The Lighthouse? I like Shakespeare [laughs]. I don’t know if he was particularly helpful for this, but he’s pretty good! Clearly [Harold] Pinter, Sam Shepard, and evoking the name [Samuel] Beckett is almost worse than evoking the name Shakespeare, but you know, they’re good at what they do, and for this two-hander about identity it was impossible not to think of those playwrights.
Many members are curious about the films that inspire you and, more specifically, your most influential Ingmar Bergman films. So, which Bergman were you looking at for The Lighthouse? Also, Evan McKenzie dares to ask, “Given the chance, which Bergman film should you like to remake?” Well, I would not remake a Bergman movie because that’s just insanity! Even though I dared to talk about remaking Nosferatu—which also probably does not need to be done—so I guess, yes, I am insane. Fair enough question. Obviously Persona and any of his chamber dramas would be the ones I would be thinking about here.
There’s a shot where Willem is knitting and Rob is smoking in the foreground, which Jarin [Blaschke, The Witch and The Lighthouse’s director of photography] and I referred to fondly as our Hour of the Wolf shot. Of course we’re using a much wider lens than Bergman ever would have done and had a different approach to lighting than he did, so it doesn’t seem all that Bergman-esque in the end, even though it was our homage.
Youssef asks: which foreign-language films are your favorites, or provided you an entry point into the non-English language arthouse? The arthouse films that I saw in high school were ones that just happened to be in my local video store. Only one of them is foreign language, The City of Lost Children, but that, Eraserhead, and Brazil were three movies that I can think of that made me ask: “Oh you can do that? Wow!” Julie Taymor’s Titus also was another film from high school that made me realize that there was something other than—and not to speak disparagingly—Spielberg and Tim Burton and whatever was more easy to see in rural New Hampshire cinemas.
Robert Pattinson and Robert Eggers on the set of ‘The Lighthouse’. / Photo: Chris Reardon
The Lighthouse has an ambiguity that has led to many of our members questioning its genre. Even Ari Aster wasn’t sure when he mentioned the film in his Q&A, and you’ve referred to it as a black comedy here. But we have to ask, for the sake of our community’s sanity: is The Lighthouse a horror movie? I don’t see it as a horror movie. But I’ve definitely spoken to people who get my intentions that think it is. So maybe? I don’t care what people call it.
It’ll probably make our top horror lists, if that’s okay. That’s fine.
Let’s not tease too many hypotheticals, since this question is based only on your two-feature output so far, but there is significant interest in whether you’ll branch out into other genres, specifically sci-fi, and other time periods, specifically the future. Well again, pointing to the leaked Viking movie, that ain’t a horror movie. And I’ve written other movies that aren’t horror movies. It’s just The Witch and everything that I’ve actually gotten made so far have been horror or horror adjacent. That’s just how it’s been—fine, happy about it.
Never say never because I am interested in sci-fi. I feel like generally when people are trying to ask big questions and challenge current philosophies, to look at things that are bigger than ourselves today, it’s always done with sci-fi. So for me, I’m enjoying doing that kind of stuff in the past just because that’s not how people often use historical movies today.
Writer-director Robert Eggers.
We love asking filmmakers this and Filbert wants to know: what are your go-to comfort films? The movies you’ve seen the most? Anything that could surprise us? The Big Lebowski I’ve watched a lot. We have a little bit of a nod to it in The Lighthouse when [Pattinson] throws their shit off the cliff and it hits him in the face. It’s pretty damn close to the ashes of Steve Buscemi. I think it’s not going to surprise anyone that I’ve seen The Shining a zillion times. I’ve seen Mary Poppins a lot, and we have a little nod to it with our weather-vane shot.
By the way, when I’m writing it I’m not thinking ‘this is the Big Lebowski scene’ or ‘this is the Mary Poppins scene’. I’m just kind of writing and you say, “well, I know where that came from.”
Finally, the 2010s are drawing to a close and many of us, including Max and John, would like to know: what are your essential films of the decade? I’d have to think about it more, but recently I thought Trey Edward Shults’ Waves is great, Hereditary is great, Parasite’s great… I’m sorry, I haven’t seen Parasite [laughs]. That’s a microaggression, I meant to say Burning is great. Anything by Ciro Guerra [director of Embrace of the Serpent and co-director of Birds of Passage] is great. Yeah, there’s a few.
‘The Lighthouse’ is in US cinemas now. All images courtesy of A24.
#The Lighthouse#the witch#robert eggers#max eggers#robert pattinson#rpatz#willem dafoe#scriptwriting#screenwriting#writing#19th century#film#black and white#cinematography#mermaid#a24#A24 films#a24 movies#letterboxd
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Midsommar; as reviewed by me, a Swede
Okay so! Finally got around to writing this. This might be a long post, but oh well. Obvious spoiler warning.
For those who don’t know, I’m a Swede, born and raised in Sweden, having celebrated Midsummer every year that I’ve been on this earth. So needless to say - I would dare to say I know a bit about Midsummer. BUT I will admit that I may not be the very most knowledgable about how it was celebrated in the past and the exact origins about it. But I’ll try my best.
SO IMPORTANT TO KNOW BEFORE WE START TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY HANDLED MY CULTURE IN THE MOVIE.
Midsummer (in Swedish Midsommar) is the celebration of the fertilization of the earth, or the world being reborn anew. The celebration is to ask the gods/spirits to bless us with a good year of harvest and to keep our animals healthy. And thats the rough explanation of it.
So lets get into the movie stuff and see what they got accurate, no?
When our main cast arrive in Sweden and get to... I forgot the name of the place they went to-- I have relatives who come from there. Anyway, they are greeted with people doing drugs, drinking mushroom tea (also drugs) and being greeted by the multiple day celebration and preparation for Midsummer.
I don’t know how it is in other countries, but yes some people do make tea on special mushrooms here, and you do get high on it. You get these mushrooms from cow or horse shit, cause they grow in that, and then you make tea of it. It causes mostly hallucinations. I have friends who do it and I’ve been offered it a few times as well.
I don’t really know how every single person in this country spends their days before Midsummer, some may very well be hanging out doing drugs. But thats not really something majority of people do (surprise surprise).
When it comes to celebrating for a longer time.
It depends on where you are in the country. Some people make a huge thing out of it, celebrating sometimes the entire month, while others (like me) only spend like two days preparing and one day celebrating. It really depends on the people, how many are attending each separate celebration, and if its a local community centre (hembygdsgård in Swedish) thats holding the celebration.
What you do during this preparing time is things like building the majstång (dunno the translation tbh), make the food, depending on where you are make the special clothes for each participant, and a lot of girls pick flowers (we’ll get into that later).
So.. The clothes?
Yes! So we see people wearing these special clothes in the movie, and in this case they’re completely white and have runes on them. Again this depends on where you are and how you celebrate Midsummer if you actually wear these clothes.
Many hembygdsgårdar have them, and a lot of people do wear these clothes. But they come in many variants!
As you can probably tell, we don’t wear just plain white, but dress pretty colourful for the occasion!
You’d also probably wear a flower crown if you celebrated. Me and my mom always used to make flowercrowns for Midsummer when I was a kid, although they always came out very bad lmfao
So the midsommarstång or majstång?
Ah yes, can’t forget the main piece of the event! And I’m so glad they got it accurate in the movie! Or... Accurate with minor changes lmfao
(I couldn’t find a better picture I’m sorry)
So in the other two images that are not from the movie, we also have this centre piece I guess I could call it. This is the most important thing in our celebration, and it comes in two variant. The classic symbolism one (I will explain don’t worry) and one thats just a leafy pole with ribbons coming from the top.
The version we see in the movie however is the most common and has huge symbolism. What they did change about it though is that they put runes in the rings, which to my knowledge no one has ever done in this day and age, nor in the past.
BUT ANYWAY THE SYMBOLISM, DAMN I GET OFF TRACK FAST.
Remember how I said Midsummer is the celebration of the rebirth of the earth? The majstång symbolises a penis and a vagina, going into the ground to fertilize the earth and give life anew. Yes. We dance around a massive dick and coochie, what do you do during your summer?
The majstång is made of wood and leafy branches and a lot of the time is held together with steel wire or other sticks that are more bendable. And in my opinion? They nailed it in the movie.
I mentioned the girls picking flowers.
Okay so the day before Midsummer (I’m pretty sure at least) the girls would go out to pick flowers. But you have to do it in a certain way (which I don’t remember honestly) and you have to pick seven types of flowers. You have to walk backwards, and climb and walk a roof, and jump a gärdsgård (type of fence), and... Thats about what I remember.
What you do with these flowers after that is you put them beneath your pillow, and go to sleep before midnight, and then you’ll dream of your future lover.
Did I do this even though I’m a guy? Yes. Did it ever work? Hm... Not sure.
So what do the guys do? I honestly don’t really remember. I’m pretty sure you just go about your day as normal and help with chores and stuff. I might be wrong though.
They do this weird thing with their hands...
So throughout the movie you see the Swedes doing jazz hands I guess you could describe it the best. I’ve given it some thought, and I’m pretty sure what they’re doing is doing a forest clap, or a silent clap. I don’t know how it is in other countries but-
So basically when you’re out in nature you don’t want to disturb it, or you just don’t want to make a lot of noise, you can clap your hands like that. It means the same thing.
How do I know? Cause we got to learn two types of forest claps in school when I was a kid when we were out looking at rocks that got fucked when the great ice moved across the land.
So it might look weird, and I do admit it IS weird, but they are essentially just clapping their hands at things.
Okay, so how about the runes and learning runes?
In the movie they talk about how all the kids learn runes and how they write in runes. This is not something we do, obviously. But we do learn runes in school! Believe it or not, there was a time when I could write fluent runes and translate Swedish into runes.
They also talk about the runes having a great power. And this is actually interesting!
Back in the days of the Vikings, when we wrote in runes for real, they believed that the runes had powers and that if you etched the runes in with a weapon, either the rune got power of the weapon did (don’t remember which one). Thats why the runes do not have curved lines, because it was both difficult to make curves with something you slash at a rock or piece of wood, and you wouldn’t get as much power out of the rune/weapon.
Some runes have specific meanings, but majority of runes you’ll learn or see are just plain out letter you use to create words.
Runes are not inherently connected with Midsummer in the sense they want it to in the movie.
They made two old people jump off a cliff and die.
Okay so me being ever so slightly uncultured didn’t really know what this was either until I watched the movie, however my mom did.
Ättestupa was a way of punishing people, more specifically criminals. Once sentenced to have committed a crime, you could be thrown off this cliff and people would gather around to watch this. Think beheading in France, but instead you throw someone off a cliff.
That’s what my mom knows about it, and we actually live pretty close to one of these spots. However I’m a bit unsure if that was the only thing, as Google wants to tell me otherwise. They may very well have made old people jump, or them deciding themselves to jump.
But I can guarantee this has absolutely nothing to do with Midsummer.
So... THAT scene...
You know what I’m talking about. That one scene that got the entire audience to laugh uncontrollably in my case.
First thing I have to mention about this is that they state she’s Byxmynding, which they did explain as of legal age to have sex in the movie. And thats exactly what it is. Its the age of consent, or rather when you turn the age of consent. You become Byxmynding.
This age is 15 here in Sweden, and it is not legal for someone above the age of 18 to have sex with someone who is 15.
I just wanted to throw that out there.
Now obviously here’s where we step away from what is true and what is fiction and just horror. But I will also say that I’m pretty sure somewhere I’ve read that in the past that during Midsummer there would be orgies to celebrate the rebirth of the earth.
Don’t take my word for it, I may be wrong. But I’m pretty sure that was a thing.
Nowadays a lot of new age people in this country do that however.
The dude hanging from the ceiling with his lungs out his back.
This was a way of torture during the Viking age. You could either do this from the chest or from the back, but the intention was to make it look like you had wings as you were slowly dying.
The dancing around the majstång and the food.
This is something we do, we do dance around the majstång to music. As for the whole dance until you can’t stand anymore because myth of girls dancing to their death thing, I can’t confirm it and I can’t deny it. Its probably something pretty accurate, and I want to remember actually hearing that as a kid when we celebrated in school.
When we dance, depending on where, the people, etc etc, you may have a live band playing things like the fiddle, accordion, guitar, flute, things like that. Or you may just put on a recording of Små Grodorna and jump around to that.
We dance around for a while to the music, maybe play games during it, and then we finish to go eat with our family/friends/other people (Depending how you celebrate)
What we eat is things like herring, surströmming, boiled potatoes, eggs, knäckebröd... Maybe other things too. Personally I’m no big fan of the fish thats served and I usually just eat smoked salmon that I brought myself so I won’t starve.
So... What are my final thoughts about this movie?
I actually really enjoyed it! I could tell they put in good amount of research to make this, and thats always appreciated. Of course Midsummer as a normal thing here is not scary or horrific like in the movie. What I would describe what we see in the movie is cultish, and almost mixed with new age in a way.
They did a great job of depicting it as something strange and twisted, even to an audience who has been raised with this celebration.
I also really appreciate that they hired Swedish actors and actually spoke real Swedish!! It did so much for the movie to me, unlike other films set in Sweden (cough cough The Ritual fuck you thats not Swedish). I don’t know if English speaking who don’t know Swedish get English subtitles on the parts they speak Swedish, but it still does so much. And the dialogue didn’t feel forced or strangely translated, it felt... Natural. Even in a creepy way. But I will admit that a lot of the line delivery was very stiff and robotic.
I enjoyed it. As strange as it is, I enjoyed it.
Oh also the singing you hear throughout I’m pretty sure is a weird mix of Joik, which isn’t inherently Swedish, but eh who cares at this point
#Midsommar#Horror movie#Horror#Midsommar movie#ItsaMeMals#ItsaMeMicke#Sweden#Swedish#Review#Horror review
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The Best of 2019
2019, what an exceptional year for movies! A great way to close out the shittiest decade! Here are the 50 best films I saw this year... click on the title to go to the IMDB page, and I’ll try to post a link to where you can see many of them. Also for the first time this year, I’m including MOM WARNINGS! My mom reads this list and sometimes actually watches these movies... so to save her some grief, sadness, or general concern for my psyche, there will be a NOT FOR MOMS!! warning where applicable... here we go!
50. STAR WARS - EPISODE IX: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (Amazon)
People really hated this movie... I actually really liked it! Aside from the horses running around on the outside of spaceships (which makes no fucking sense... didn’t Leia get all space frozen exactly one movie ago??), it was a satisfying conclusion to a franchise I guess I don’t really care about as much as other people, so I was into it!
49. JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3 - PARABELLUM (Amazon)
Quickly becoming one of the more well produced action franchises of all time. Probably two too many machine gun shootouts in this one for me (I get a little exhausted with gun violence), but the hand-to-hand stuff is brilliant and bloody and badass! Not to mention the deepening of the mythology and Halle Berry and her dogs. It’s a fun time, a welcome addition to the series, and I can’t wait for number 4.
48. QUEEN & SLIM (Amazon)
Billed as the black BONNIE AND CLYDE and from first time feature director Melina Matsoukas, this atmospheric tragedy is gorgeous to look at, delivers a pair of standout lead performances, and proves to have one of the more stressful final 30min of any of the films I saw this year, even if you know the inevitable conclusion is just around the corner.
47. UNDER THE SILVER LAKE (Amazon PRIME)
A wild Los Angeles noir story from the director of IT FOLLOWS. Plays like if David Lynch directed THE BIG LEBOWSKI, a weird, screwball whodunit. It’s a little long, and there are so many loose ends that seem to be thrown in just to fuck with the protagonist (and the audience), but it’s a really fun time and you’ll want to stay to the end to see it all play out. LA looks gorgeous too.
46. KNOCK DOWN THE HOUSE (Netflix)
Truly inspiring. Really shows how if you put your mind to something, believe in yourself and that you can make a difference, you can accomplish anything. Regardless of your political leanings, or how you feel about AOC personally, this is well worth your time and it has a great message for young people, especially those young women of color who might not think they can achieve great levels of success. It made me cry the happy tears.
45. LONG DAY’S JOURNEY INTO NIGHT (Amazon)
Best known for it’s remarkable 59min-3D final take, this hallucinatory journey through memory and dreams is mind-blowing and breathtaking. Hard not to leave this one feeling like you’ve been put though some kind of experiment that you don’t fully understand, but you’ll want to experience again. Highly recommended if you have access to 3D, or simply have some killer edibles and want to be thrown for a loop.
44. CLIMAX (Amazon PRIME)
NOT FOR MOMS!!
Speaking of being under the influence, holy shit is this film nuts! From Gaspar Noe, who if you’re aware of his work, you kind of already know what you’re in store for here. It’s been described as “FAME directed by the Marquis de Sade”... incredible dance sequences and audacious camerawork that slowly but surely devolves into hell. It’s a blast!
43. HAIL SATAN? (Hulu)
A fresh and funny documentary about a group of smartass Satanists exposing the hypocrisy amongst bible-thumping Christians who’d rather stomp their feet and be the loudest in the room than listen to anyone else’s perspective. Frustrating and entertaining in equal parts, this compulsively watchable film makes you want to scream at these Jesus freaks as much as you want to laugh along with the antics of these harmless, intelligent and organized troublemakers. An excellent time well spent.
42. FIRST LOVE (Amazon)
(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!
Director Takashi Miike’s yakuza action-comedy is the most accessible of his films I’ve seen (he’s now made more than 100 movies, which is insane), but that doesn’t mean it’s not a gonzo wild time at the movies. The violence is here in full force, but unlike AUDITION or ICHI THE KILLER, you don’t need a barf bag close by to enjoy it. It’s often hilarious and moves at a breakneck speed. Super fun!
41. THE DEAD DON’T DIE (Amazon PRIME)
Jim Jarmusch’s star-studded, droll zombie-comedy came and went from theaters without much fanfare, but provided me with plenty of laughs. It’s also the second of 3 Adam Driver vehicles to be on this year’s list. Bill Murray and Driver lead the way along with plenty familiar faces in cameos throughout (including the RZA in one of my favorite scene’s of the year). Classic Jarmusch... a meditation on death and mortality in his vintage style.
40. EL CAMINO: A BREAKING BAD MOVIE (Netflix)
Dude, Aaron Paul is a legit GREAT actor. Picks up right where the show left off, and I was on the edge of my seat and filled with anxiety just like I was during the best moments of the now classic series. It was good to hang out with my old friends again.
39. DOCTOR SLEEP (Amazon)
A box office flop due to poor promotion and a title people weren’t familiar with, this sequel to THE SHINING is based on the Stephen King book of the same name, which I read, and I can’t recommend it more. Great suspense, and fantastic performances from both Ewan McGregor and (especially) Rebecca Ferguson. It’s a dark and scary film that is a fun trip back to the Overlook Hotel... provided you wish to return there...
38. THE LAST BLACK MAN IN SAN FRANCISCO (Amazon PRIME)
About 90min into this beautifully shot film I was ready to lock it in as a possible Top 5 contender. Then the bottom fell out for me the last quarter of the movie and lost my confidence. No bother, it’s still wonderful enough to find a spot on the list and carry my recommendation. Young men and women watching their city change before their eyes, and wondering what the concept of “home” really means is a real challenge facing many people here in the Bay Area. This film does a fantastic job conveying that, for most of the film anyway.
37. THE PEANUT BUTTER FALCON (Amazon)
A bonafide crown-pleaser of a movie, and another example of the true talent Shia LeBeouf has and is capable of (more on him later). A young man with Down Syndrome escapes his assisted-living facility to track down his wrestling idol the Saltwater Redneck with the help of an outlaw and a social worker. Sweet, funny, and heartfelt... a feel good surprise.
36. A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD (Amazon)
I didn’t cry nearly as much as I did during the excellent documentary WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR from last year, but if you’re a Mr. Rogers fan, you’ll still shed a few during this heartwarming film. Tom Hanks does his thing, and even though this movie is guilty of borrowing a little too much from the previous doc, it’s still a great showcase for the truly selfless and beautiful force of nature that Fred Rogers was. Bring tissues anyway.
35. CARMINE STREET GUITARS (In Theaters Now)
A love letter to both New York City and the art, joy, and love that goes into honing and maintaining one’s craft. Meanwhile the looming doom of gentrification hovers over the proceedings, never letting you get fully enrapt in the sweetness that these artists (and their many famous customers) exude when talking about and playing their one-of-a-kind works of art. A stunning and lovely piece for musicians and talentless fans of music alike.
34. HOLIDAY (Amazon)
NOT FOR MOMS!!
A tough, cold film with nary a character to actively root for... until after about an hour of icy behavior comes (no pun intended) a scene so shocking in its graphic and disturbing nature, people left the theater without staying for the final resolution. First time director Isabella Eklof pulls off the bold and audacious maneuver, all while making it seem like she doesn’t care whether you like her characters (or her film) at all. It’s a very fine balancing act, executed to perfection. But be warned... it’s rough.
33. AVENGERS: ENDGAME (Disney+)
What can I say? You saw it. It’s good. A bunch of Supermans fly around and blow shit up. A satisfying end (until the next 20 films).
32. MIDSOMMAR (Amazon Prime)
NOT FOR MOMS!!
A disturbing slow burn of a gothic horror film. Characters do hallucinogens while ritualistic religious murders and tribal mating practices threaten to ruin everyones existence. Florence Pugh is phenomenal (more from her in a minute) in a very trying roll. Doesn’t pack quite the punch of the director’s last film, HEREDITARY, but it’s still well worth the watch. But yeah, it’s disturbing.
31. APOLLO 11 (Hulu)
A fascinating look at the first moon landing from rarely seen archival footage and audio. Seeing it on the IMAX screen was intense and exhilarating, unlike narrative pictures like the severely overrated FIRST MAN. This isn’t my favorite documentary of the year, but it is an absolute lock to win the Academy Award for Best Doc of 2019. It’s a must see, a must experience.
30. HIGH LIFE (Amazon PRIME)
NOT FOR MOMS!!
French auteur Claire Denis’ bizarre, erotic sci-fi mindfuck about isolation and humanity is not for everyone, but is a brilliant take on the genre, and is yet another showcase for Robert Pattinson, who is quietly becoming one of my favorite working actors. Juliette Binoche also is on fire here and has what one critic calls “the single greatest one-person sex scene in the history of cinema.” So it has that going for it.
29. TRIPLE FRONTIER (Netflix)
A fully loaded heist film with no real bad guy, but instead a group of recognizable badasses in a Netflix-released action thrill ride. There’s absolutely no reason this should’ve worked, or even been half as good as it is, but boy is it good! Compulsively watchable, and rewatchable. If this were on Showtime as much as DEN OF THIEVES is I’d have seen it 30 times by now. It’s one of the most pleasant surprises of the year.
28. 1917 (Amazon)
An unbelievable visual achievement from cinematographer Roger Deakins and director Sam Mendes. The story isn’t the greatest war story ever told (are there great war stories?), but it’s shot to look like one continuous long take, sustained for 2hrs. It’s really an unbelievable feat, but doesn’t come off as gimmicky or distracting. It’s intense, beautifully staged, and sad. A big screen spectacle.
27. TOY STORY 4 (Amazon)
Woody and the gang are back, and the films continue to keep the dust from collecting. It’s still so much fun to hang out with this group of misfit toys. There was talk that after the incredible TOY STORY 3 this was just a money grab and was labeled unnecessary, but I found it to be a sweet, charming, and nostalgic trip I was glad I took.
26. HONEYLAND (Hulu)
My pick for documentary of the year comes from the mountains of Macedonia, where a woman named Hatidze lives with her dying mother making a living cultivating honey. When a family of shitheads moves into a shanty next door, what seems like a fix for her lonely existence becomes catastrophic as they disregard her teachings and threaten her livelihood. I was an emotional wreck throughout the experience and it goes without saying it’s a must-see. Gorgeous and heartbreaking.
25. LITTLE WOMEN (Amazon)
I have never read the book, nor seen any of the film adaptations, so I went in blind to this lovely film. Director Greta Gerwig follows up the phenomenal LADYBIRD with this Altman-esque rendition of the widely beloved literary classic. I found it exceptional in its execution and performances, including the previously mentioned Florence Pugh, who is a knockout. A wonderful addition to the ever-growing stable of Christmas films I look to enjoy during future Decembers.
24. GREENER GRASS (Hulu)
It’s as if Tim & Eric made BLUE VELVET. Bizarre, outrageous, gross, and a guaranteed future midnight movie favorite. My sides hurt. A satire skewering upper-middle class suburban soccer moms and dads alike. Babies are given away. A boy turns into a dog. Everyone has braces. There’s a creep on the loose. It’s wild and flat-out hilarious literally from start to finish. Almost too many jokes to keep up with. Watch it! Bring weed.
23. RELAXER (Amazon)
NOT FOR MOMS!!
Speaking of gross, this film is disgusting, but in a good way. A satire about lazy consumerism and self-destruction. It’s a short hang, thankfully, but if you can stomach it to the end (remember, it’s nasty) you’ll be rewarded with not only a hilarious dark comedy, but also an unexpected haymaker of sadness you didn’t see coming. It’s a pretty impressive feat, and an overall success. But, yeah, it’s fucking gross.
22. AD ASTRA (Amazon)
APOCALYPSE NOW in space starring Brad Pitt. If you need more information than that, I don’t really know what else to do for you.
21. SLUT IN A GOOD WAY (Amazon PRIME)
(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!
A black-and-white raunchy French arthouse teen comedy that gives a middle finger to the double standard set by the equally raunchy teen-boys-will-be-boys genre. It’s so much fun, and honest, and the actors are such natural talents you forget the subject matter is at times shocking (only because of said double standard) and just go with it. I think it’s just wonderful. Seek it out!
20. US (HBO)
Jordan Peele’s excellent follow-up to GET OUT. Doppelganger home invasion terror with a killer twist. To describe more would be to risk giving something away. I’ll just say that Lupita Nyong’o is my pick to win her second Oscar, this time as Best Actress, here in a dual role. She’s incredible. If you haven’t seen it, try to go in blind, you’ll be rewarded.
19. THE FAREWELL (Amazon PRIME)
A heartfelt homecoming film about family, culture, and how the things we don’t say can be just as strong of a show of love as the things we do say. It’s sweet, tender, and bursting with personal flare and emotions from director Lulu Wang. Awkwafina also curbs her more manic and loud tendencies as a performer for more quiet, thoughtful, and somber choices. She’s phenomenal.
18. KNIVES OUT (Amazon)
A clever ensemble whodunit that’s just as funny and smart as it is mysterious. Everyone across the board delivers as the assorted motley crew. The film rewards repeat viewings and Daniel Craig knocks it out of the park, stealing every scene he’s in, reminding us all what a fantastic actor he can be when he’s not sipping the Vespers.
17. BOOKSMART (Hulu)
The female SUPERBAD is the elevator pitch, but this coming-of-age gem is really unlike any other example in the genre. They’re privileged, uber-smart, and have never partied. Yet they have the same neuroses as any other teen scared to death of what to do next or how to be normal. It’s also fucking hilarious. You wanna hang out with these girls and at the same time bury your head under the covers because you feel their pure terror/embarrassment. It’s a blast.
16. THE MUSTANG (Amazon)
Starring Matthias Schoenaerts, one of the finest actor’s working today, this understated and emotional drama about rehabilitation and redemption floored me upon first viewing. It is a gorgeous film. You’ve probably seen stories similar to this before, but rarely is one told with such compelling conviction. A borderline masterpiece.
15. HONEY BOY (Amazon PRIME)
Remember a few years back we had the McConaissance, where everything Matthew McConaughey did was solid gold after years of middling bullshit? I’m calling it right now: Shia LaBeouf is about to have the same thing. He wrote the script and plays a version of his own father in a brutal version of his own fucked up childhood as an up-and-coming child actor. It’s heartbreaking and absolutely riveting. I’m hoping he gets an Oscar nod, but regardless I implore you to seek this film out, he’s incredible.
14. MONOS (Hulu)
(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!
A bizarre, bewildering, chaotic, and unsettling film. Some of the most beautiful photography I saw on the big screen this year, yet some of the most surreal and disturbing imagery as well. It’s a militarized, Latin American LORD OF THE FLIES with commentary on tribal behavior and violence. It can be a tough sit, but boy is it beautiful.
13. DOLEMITE IS MY NAME (Netflix)
What a wonderful, welcome surprise! Eddie Murphy in an awards caliber performance as Rudy Ray Moore, the multi-hyphenate performer who created the alter ego Dolemite, spawning a film franchise and many legendary comedy albums. It’s obviously hilarious, and a great behind-the-scenes biopic, but also shockingly sweet and heartfelt, even between all the cuss words. I even teared up a couple times. The 3rd best thing Netflix released this year (more on that in a minute).
12. JOKER (Amazon)
You already saw this.
11. THE IRISHMAN (Netflix)
It’s far too long. It could’ve done with being cut as a three part miniseries or special. There’s about 45min worth of scenes that are quintessential DVD bonus features (I’m looking at you Action Bronson), but goddamn if it’s not Scorsese doing his Scorsese thing. It’s a gangster film, but it’s also a meditation on aging and death. Pesci is incredible and Pacino steals the show. Sure, the de-aging thing is distracting, the curb stomping scene is embarrassing. But still, I mean... IT’S MARTIN SCORSESE!
10. PAIN AND GLORY (Amazon)
Pedro Almodovar’s most personal work to date, a tale about making art and the loneliness of love. If you are unfamiliar with his work, this is a great jumping off point. His movies can be challenging and dark, but this film has such joy and hope amongst the heartache. The final reveal, while not earth shattering on paper, is nonetheless so moving it left the screening I attended without a dry eye in the place. It is his best film yet.
9. THE LIGHTHOUSE (Amazon)
From the director of THE WITCH comes another type of gothic horror, this time with the legendary Willem Dafoe and the (already mentioned) brilliant Robert Pattinson marooned on a lighthouse rock alone to drive each other completely insane. It’s hallucinatory, violent, disorienting, and flat-out brilliant. If it weren’t for another guy we’ll get to in a minute, Dafoe would be a lock for Best Supporting Actor here. It’s a slightly challenging film, with the period style mariner dialogue, but it’s just as funny as it is terrifying.
8. JOJO RABBIT (Amazon)
A beautiful, touching, funny, crowd-pleasing comedy about a little Nazi whose imaginary friend is Hitler. Yep, your read that correctly. There are about a million reasons this should absolutely not work. Yet, it’s one of the best theater going experiences I had this year. A must see... ESPECIALLY with Mom!
7. MARRIAGE STORY (Netflix)
The best written and acted film of the year, and the third Adam Driver vehicle to appear here. Sad but honest. Touching but brutal. It’s awkward and a bit of a bummer, but there’s such great work being done here, in front of and behind the camera. Noah Baumbach is a force of nature, and has yet to make a film I was even iffy about. He’s the real deal and this might be his masterpiece.
6. WAVES (Amazon)
Speaking of auteurs, Trey Edward Shults is now 3/3 on features after the brilliant KRISHA and IT COMES AT NIGHT. Here he follows a middle-class black family, led by a domineering father, through a tragic moment in all of their lives. The first half deals with the son’s story, then abruptly switches to the daughter’s life post said event. It shouldn’t work, yet somehow manages to be one of the most emotionally affecting pieces of art I saw this year. The camera never stops moving, constantly swirling and whirling and you can’t help to be sucked up into it. It’s a beautiful tragedy.
5. LONG SHOT (HBO)
The biggest and most pleasant surprise of the year. An opposites-attract rom-com with more brains, bite, social commentary, and laughs than it has any right to have. Easily the most fun you’ll have with (almost) the whole family... there’s a lot of cum jokes. But don’t let the vulgarity dissuade you! It’s a total riot with just the right amount of sweetness to balance out the saltiness. I love love love this movie.
4. THE ART OF SELF-DEFENSE (Hulu)
What starts as a strange, dark comedy morphs into a FIGHT CLUB-esque thriller with allusions to disturbingly toxic masculinity and an offbeat take on what it takes to “be a man.” It is laugh-out-loud hilarious, and expertly made, while really having something to say, and it says it in a way I’ve never really seen before. It’s not surprising this didn’t get more attention, the characters are truly difficult to relate to, let alone root for, but as far as originality goes, you’d be hard pressed to find anything this year much better than this.
3. UNCUT GEMS (Amazon)
(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!
The cinematic equivalent of being locked in the brain of a lunatic having a cocaine-fueled anxiety attack. If that sounds like fun (AND IT IS!!!) then this is the film for you! Oh, and Adam Sandler is going to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Actor. For real. It’s a chaotic, stress-filled masterpiece.
2. ONCE UPON A TIME... IN HOLLYWOOD (Amazon)
My favorite filmmaker’s 2nd best film. A personal story about the love of film during the late 60s, a time of dirty hippies and Charles Manson, as well as the passing of the torch from old Hollywood to the “golden age” of cinema. It’s a fairytale of sorts, with Tarantino’s trademark flare for spontaneous violence and mining multiple genres to make his most mature work since PULP FICTION. I’ve been rewarded with new takeaways upon each subsequent viewing, and my love and appreciation for it only grows and grows. Brad Pitt is a lock for Best Supporting Actor, he’s magnificent. It was always going to be my #1 with a bullet no matter what, because it’s just that great...
1. PARASITE (Amazon)
...but then Bong Joon-ho, the master of new Korean cinema unleashed PARASITE. Not only is it the best film of 2019, it’s one of the best films I have ever seen. Like EVER ever. He is in such astonishing control of his craft it’s hard not to sit back and marvel and the sheer skill on display. You can be laughing one moment and then recoiling in horror during the same breath. He’s using multiple genre tropes, incredible set design, pitch perfect acting/writing, and such exquisite planning you can’t possibly know what’s in store for you from one scene to the next. It is an absolute masterpiece and if it doesn’t sweep every category it’s nominated for at this year’s Oscars, it’ll be a travesty. If you have even a passing interest in film as an art form, the power it can wield, and the messages it can convey, you owe it to yourself to see this film. It’s perfect.
Well, there it is. Thanks for reading any part of this. Now go see PARASITE. I love you.
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I feel maybe I was a bit grumpy in my movie-going this year (at least when it came to new releases): there are plenty of films that other people liked that just didn’t click for me. Like The Souvenir – no.4 in The Guardian’s list – which left me a bit cold, and annoyed. Or Hustlers, which I found aggressively unoriginal. Or Pain And Glory, which was great and then two-thirds of the way in took a direction I didn’t like at all. Or If Beale Street Could Talk, which isn’t a bad film by any means, but fell way short of my expectations after how special Moonlight was. On the other hand, I enjoyed Midsommar and Burning, and felt their directors had achieved what they had set out to do, but neither quite felt like it belonged on this list. The movie I most wanted to see and didn’t was the Argentinean thriller Rojo, and the film I suspect I’ll either love or hate that I haven’t managed to catch up with is the British film Bait.
There were, though, some films I did really dig, and here they are:
1. Support The Girls
So many films rely on their characters doing stupid things to sustain the narrative: not calling the cops, splitting up when there’s a killer lurking, not getting an abortion, leaping into the sack with someone clearly unhinged, not killing James Bond when you capture him and have already murdered dozens of others without a thought... Which is why every now and again it’s good to see a film about someone who is competent and rich in common sense but to whom shit happens anyway, because that’s how it goes. Lisa, wonderfully played by Regina Hall, is one of my favourite movie characters in recent years: she’s the manager of a bar-restaurant in Texas where the waitresses have to wear crop tops and hot pants, a job she does with great skill and little appreciation. The film mostly covers one day: it’s funny, it’s warm, it’s human and humane, it’s aware of issues of power and race and gender and inequality without being up on a soapbox for a second. I loved it.
Full review here
2. Booksmart
One way to judge a comedy in 2019: you’ve seen the trailer half a dozen times and it hasn’t killed all the best jokes. Booksmart passed that test easily. It took a very familiar set-up – high school kids looking for a party on the eve of graduation – and made it fresh again. It has fine comedy performances from Kaitlyn Dever and Beanie Feldstein, my favourite supporting turn of the year from Billie Lourd, a great drugs scene and a touchingly defiant speech on an unexpected topic. A marvellous directing debut from Olivia Wilde.
Full review here
3. Under The Silver Lake
This is unapologetically a list of movies I liked. Which means sometimes they need a bit of a disclaimer, because they can be movies that people with reliable taste hated. Under The Silver Lake is a movie that left plenty of critics and some of the few punters who saw it baffled or bored or both. But if for some strange reason you do like the idea of a sprawling, weird, shaggy-dog story of an LA noir, laced with spiralling conspiracy theories, inept amateur sleuthing and lots of references to classic movies, then I recommend this unreservedly.
Full review here
4. Once Upon A Time… In Hollywood
The biggest and best surprise of the year for me: a Quentin Tarantino movie that was bearable – more that: properly good. For most of the running time, it’s plotless, but it’s an agreeable and atmospheric meander around the LA of 1969, with winning turns from Pitt and Di Caprio.
Full review here
5. Marriage Story
‘I know I should see it, I’m just not sure I can face it…’ That’s what some of my friends have said about Marriage Story, and I get their reluctance: watching someone’s relationship fall apart seems either sadistic or distressing, depending on how things are going in your life. But Noah Baumbach’s film, although it has brutal moments, is not a misery fest, nor is it a sentimental account of the damage done to an innocent kid by selfish adults. It’s sharp and smart, and contains by far Scarlett Johansson’s best non-sci-fi performance post-Lost In Translation.
Full review here
6. The Favourite
In all the critics’ 2018 lists, and in London cinemas late December 2018, but according to the Film Distributors Association, The Favourite was a January 2019 release in the UK (and that’s when I saw it). If you are expecting a standard historical drama, it’s bonkers. If, though, you are familiar with the films of Yorgos Lanthimos, it’s almost (almost) mainstream. Deserved the bag of prizes it got.
7. Knives Out
The trailer made it look annoying and gimmicky, so I’m glad I was persuaded to see Rian Johnson’s sort-of-old-fashioned murder mystery. It’s tough to say more without spoilers, but what the trailer disguises is that there is a point of real sympathy in the movie, and a political stance (if not a hugely complex one). It has not just an all-star cast, but one that stretches from stars of the 1960s (Christopher Plummer) through the 1980s (Jamie Lee Curtis! Don Johnson!) right up to someone for Marvel fans (Chris Evans), for Neflix-watching teen goths (Katherine Langford) and for those – like me – somewhat obsessed with the TV comedy Atlanta (LaKeith Stanfield). Plus, Daniel Craig, who is doing a very strange accent, but it’s such pleasure not to see him playing Britain’s least intelligent intelligence operative (I think he’s excellent here – it’s a knowingly broad performance).
8. The Irishman (I Heard You Paint Houses)
Having sabotaged himself with the sadistic running time and the atrocious CGI ‘de-ageing’ (yeah, right), Martin Scorsese somehow managed to pull together an absorbing, elegiac film that hopefully marks an end to the cinema’s fascination with the Mob.
Full review here
9. Little Women
Almost everyone else who sees this will be comparing it to the book and/or one or more of the many previous screen versions. But I’m 85% sure I never read the book and know I have not seen any of the movies the whole way through (I will see the 1933 George Cukor/Katharine Hepburn one someday, promise). I went to see this one, then, not because of any affection for the source material but because it was directed by Greta Gerwig and stars Saoirse Ronan and Florence Pugh. There’s a balance to be struck with period movies: on the one hand, it can be unconvincing if the characters simply behave if they come from the year the film was made, not the one in which it was set.
On the other, the characters are living in what to them is a turbulent, fast-changing modern world, and you have to create a sense of that. Gerwig leans strongly – maybe too strongly for some fans of the book – in the latter direction, but that’s what I enjoyed most, including one big showpiece feminist speech each for Ronan and Pugh, plus an ending that really sold me on the film.
10. Doubles Vies (Non-Fiction)
I half-wonder if it was a dare: Olivier Assayas is not a director who lives in a French cinema bubble, so he knows the stereotypes he is dabbling with here. This film largely consists of a bunch of well-paid white people mostly working in the arts (the lone ‘outsider’ is the aide to a leftwing politician) gathering for meals and discussing the future of book publishing in the digital age. When they are not doing that, of course, they are shagging anyone but their significant others. That it stars Juliette Binoche is almost a given. Did I mention that Assayas’ ex, Mia Hansen-Løve, also made a film in which French intellectuals discussed ‘where now? for book publishing’? In the words (but not the meaning) of the characters in The Irishman, it is what it is, but if you have any appetite for films in which over-educated Parisians talk and talk and talk, this is actually plenty of fun.
11. Maiden
As a piece of filmmaking, this documentary is utterly conventional: a mix of old footage and participants reminiscing. But it has a great story to tell, and plenty of archive to tell it with. It’s about the all-female crew who took part in the 1989-90 Whitbread round-the-world yacht race, after only five women in total had taken part in the previous race. The film focuses on skipper Tracy Edwards, who is far from the lifelong boaty type you might imagine. It’s a tale of her and her crew’s persistence in the face of the expected but still outrageous sexism, from female journalists as well as rival skippers (on the publicity trail 1989, Edwards categorically denied being a feminist, now she’s proud to accept the label). There are nuances, though, that the filmmakers don’t avoid: let’s just say that being relatively underprivileged in the yachting world isn’t the same as being underprivileged full stop.
12. Eighth Grade
I can’t say I actually enjoyed Eighth Grade: it’s a film about a socially anxious child that all too vividly immerses us in incredibly awkward moments. But its main character and the gap between her YouTube pronouncements and her reality is as acute a portrayal of the way a chunk of people live right now as you could get.
13. Minding The Gap
Dilemma: the most effective way to see this documentary about a multiracial bunch of skateboarding buddies in Rockford, Illinois, is to know as little as I did beforehand. But I don’t think I could comfortably recommend a film that is in parts so distressing without warning you that it gets pretty brutal. I was reminded of it when I watched Jonah Hill’s drama Mid90s, a drama that looks at a similar scene – Minding The Gap is not only much more affecting, but does a much better job of making non-skaters understand the appeal of spending hours upon hours drifting around on a rolling plank.
Best old films I saw on the big screen
Unfaithfully Yours
Preston Sturges’ wild comedy about a reluctantly jealous husband (Rex Harrison at his finest) is a film I’d been waiting the best part of quarter of a century to see, and yet managed to exceed my expectations. The best film I saw in a cinema this year, and that’s saying something because I also saw…
Full review here
Aventurera
Singing! Dancing (and what dancing!) Betrayal! Tragedy! Vengeance! Unrequited passion and wild coincidence! The highlight of the BFI’s classic Mexican movie season was this gloriously bonkers 1950 melodrama, a star vehicle for the extraordinary Cuban nightclub star Ninón Sevilla, who had masses of blonde hair and huge dark eyes, a jaw that looked like it could withstand a heavyweight’s uppercut, and thighs built for proto-Beyoncé dance moves. Aventurera makes the most of her cabaret skills, but also puts her in frenzied, noirish narrative. An utter joy.
Los Califanes
The great thing about living in London is that I was able to see four films about Mexican nightlife on the big screen this year: as well as Aventurera, I saw another Niñon Sevilla film (Victimas del Pecado) in the BFI season, the brand-new but 1980s-set Esto No Es Berlín at the London Film Festival, and then 1967’s nouvelle vague-inspired Los Caifanes at the Barbican as a tie-in with their Into The Night exhibition. This one is about a posh young couple who have a wild 12 hours or so in the company of a group of working-class hipsters, and is a terrific you’ll-feel-as-bleary-eyed-as-the-characters movie.
Full review here
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‹ HARRY STYLES, HE/HIM, CIS MALE, BISEXUAL. › beckett ‘beck’ corrigan is the twenty-four year old from nottingham, england ( now lives in new york city ). when a friend asked them what they thought of the manor they said, ❝ ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA? ❞ they claim midsommar is their favorite scary movie, and if they were to die in a horror film they would bumping and tripping into the killer. their fears include fire, breaking bones and blood, and they don’t know we know, but… his parents died when their house caught fire, him and his brother got out but they didn’t. hope they enjoy their stay. ‹ MUSE D from COME HANG OUT ›
what’s up my names emily, and tell your boyfriend that if he says he’s got beef that i’m a vegetarian and i aint fucking scared of him!!
okay this is beckett lawrence corrigan ( nee king )
he only goes by beck though, if you call him beckett he will snap its like the one thing that makes him actually mad ( and literally nothing makes him mad )
he was born & raised in nottingham, england
his dad was a history professor named calvin king, his mums name was rose king she was a writer that went by an alias to remain unknown
he had an older brother named abraham aka abe who is 4 years older than him
they were a good family, they were close and just lived happily
beck was always unbelievably shy, he kept to himself and was a total mama’s boy
when he was 15 his parents died in a house fire during the middle of the night, the boys got out but their parents couldn’t
it really kept beck back, he was scared of everything and everyone and it really just added to his shyness
when he got out of the house he had to jump out of a second story window and fell onto his hands where he broke both wrists and numerous fingers
he was always doodling, never really stopped – he loved all forms of art, loved galleries and reading about art it was and has always been a passion of his so breaking both wrists was really bad
it took him around two months before he picked up a pencil, paintbrush and charcoal but he fell back into his art
beck didnt really talk to anyone after his parents died, and if he did it was only to abe. no one in school, no one at shops -- he just wouldn’t talk
abe was really worried about beck for a long time but never pushed him into anything
at eighteen two major things happened in beck’s life -- he entered university for art, and he met eoin corrigan
he met eoin while he was out with some friends from school, he honestly hadn’t even wanted to go but for some reason he felt like he had too
and clearly eoin had been the reason -- because seeing him their was instant, it was falling in love completely and fully without even saying a word ( though he knew love didn’t actually work that way )
he spent the night talking to eoin -- something he’d never done with anyone since his parents died
during the year that eoin stayed in london beck became more and more himself, and for a lot of it he considered not finishing school and instead travelling with eoin
but he wanted to get his degree, wanted to have so much more with art and it had always been his dream -- he thought that they’d be strong enough to stand through the distance
at 23 he’d been graduated for two years and working as an animator -- selling some art pieces on the side as when eoin proposed
of course beck said yes, and they eloped -- he never wanted a big fancy wedding anyways
after they eloped they moved to new york!!
generally speaking, beck is still incredibly shy. it takes him time to warm up to people, and he’s not exactly chatty. he talks more than he used to but, he’s never going to be the first to start a conversation
for the subplot he came because his husband asked him and that was it
i’m not great at plotting connections, generally i like chemistry but i’m open to discussing things!!
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I have that movie idea ruminating in my brain--THE DOG DAYS OF GIRLHOOD--and it’s been a seedling of a plot for a good 4 years now, ever since I brainstormed a modernist novel and came up with the rough idea of a mentally ill teenager becoming obsessed with the fact that people were dying on the border from either a serial killer or the Chupacabra, and trying to solve the ~mystery, and layering that over a multi-generational story about her family.
And then one day, as I hiked in the desert, I realized this wasn’t the only story. There’s a sorta prequel to Dog Days. And I’ve played around with it for a year now, but it really crystallized into something once I watched Bone Tomahawk and Midsommar. It’s basically a mix of those two. Very straight forward.
Lemme sketch it out:
ACT ONE: Strangers
We open on a ragtag group of men from the east traveling through west Texas in the 1930s. They’re an odd bunch and we wonder whether this is going to be a buddy comedy, until...
...they come across farmhand (the frightened young man is blathering about how they’re headed into hell yada yada) and BAM! hyper-violent murdering...oh, they’re the bad guys.
Cut to: a homestead, last one before you hit the mountains and then there’s nothing but a desert that wants to kill you. Women are doing chores, wearing white, pulling water up from the well (purity motifs). It’s nearing sundown. Dust kicks up at the horizon and the familia, a matriarchy, shield their eyes and wearily watch as the bounty hunters ride onto their farm.
Bounty hunters inform them they’ve been sent from town and told that they have to stop here for the night, eat, and water up because, after the Rangel’s, there’s nothing for miles and miles. Leery, but kind, the mother allows the men to camp out on her property. The second oldest daughter makes eyes at the same young “nice, honorable” bounty hunter as her smaller cousin, a teenager who shouldn’t be trying to make eyes at anyone. The grandmother seems suspicious on the porch and whispers to her daughter in Spanish.
The men make camp and tell the family their story. An anonymous benefactor from the East is funding this little expedition to hunt down a “monster” in the mountains just past their ranch. Once they get it, they’ll be paid handsomely. Rumor has it the last two parties died of the elements or were scalped by rogue Mexicans/Indians or ~because of what they saw out there~ (trying to spook the women).
The mother suggests that the men stick close to the farm and take their time. They can scout the area for signs and then return to base camp.
(I know it seems like they’re on equal footing but the men are very obviously pressuring them at every turn, hinting at a bitter end if the women aren’t accommodating)
The men like the idea. They ask the women if they’ve ever seen anything. The grandmother smirks. Says she’s seen lots of things and that men disappear in the desert all the time.
ACT TWO: Searching
Things in this act start to get...weird.
Men head out in scouting parties. Lil cousin wants to join them but she’s pulled back. In the mountains, the hunters start confident but soon come up against a variety of problems, starting with a rock slide and someone’s arm getting pinned. Another man gets bit by a snake. Are they cursed they ask themselves?
They go back to the farm where wounds are tended. They’re offered drink. It becomes tense as there’s some violence. The women become wary of the men. Drunk, they wander about and experience more weird shit. Older daughter and honorable bounty hunter make out.
One of the men disappears the next day. They discover a bone pit.
Drink more. Something comes to the farm and everyone panics. They run and hide. Everyone makes it to morning except another some of the hunters. They ran out into the desert after the lil cousin. They come across a massive mountain lion. Hunter shoots it dead. Back at camp daughter sleeps with honorable hunter. Grandmother says how none of them are safe because it’s hungry.
Bounty hunters return with “the monster”.
ACT THREE: The Hunt
Celebrating over an open fire, the bounty hunters and women cheers. It’s quite peaceful. The moon is full.
It’s like a painting, wide shot, when--almost like a dance--the mother stands up and walks outside the circle, reaches into the well, and (lil cousin turns to her crush and mouths ‘run’) turns around with a shotgun and fires twice to shoot the first hunter in front of her, back of the head, dead. It’s an “OH what the FUCK” moment.
She pumps it as one of the daughters smoothly pulls a hatchet from her skirt and hacks into the man next her. The men are now scrambling, drunk, and realizing they’re defenseless.
It’s a sudden role reversal.
They’re now hunted.
They run off into the desert.
Blah blah, fight scenes, at one point the honorable hunter is begging for his life from lil cousin, trying to play her jealousy to get her to turn on her cousin, talking about she called him honorable like her dad and blah blah, and she cuts him free, he like ‘thanks boo’, and she skewers him to his shock, saying, “What honor?” and then shoving him into a ravine.
blah blah all the men die. we hear a monstrous yapping and howling. we see the women head back to the homestead at dawn.
--
yeah i got lazy writing this, but yeah
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An A.P. Bio Season 4 Episode Guide with Showrunner Mike O’Brien
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Fittingly for a show about high school, A.P. Bio’s writers are often tasked with the least enjoyable aspect of education: homework.
“One of the ways we try to find new areas in stories is just by writing assignments and homework,” A.P. Bio showrunner Mike O’Brien tells Den of Geek. “We’ll all go home and write. I often call them sketches or scenes – just some little thing.”
O’Brien’s homework assignments have apparently paid off as they’ve allowed the comedy to reach four seasons, the first two of which aired on NBC and the following two on streaming service Peacock.
A.P. Bio is set in the fictional Whitlock High School in Toledo, Ohio and follows disgraced Harvard philosophy professor Jack Griffin (Glenn Howerton) as he returns home to teach some eager nerds A.P. Biology. Unfortunately for the nerds, Jack has no intention of teaching them A.P. Biology and instead forces his students to join him on missions to address his many petty slights and grievances. Fortunately for the nerds, some lessons are learned despite Jack’s most sincere efforts not to instill any.
With all eight episodes of A.P. Bio season 4 available to stream on Peacock now, we caught up with O’Brien to discuss the journey so far. And since we’re thorough, we decided to ask about each of season 4’s eight episodes.
Read along with our A.P. Bio season 4 syllabus below.
Season 4 Episode 1 “Tornado!”
“Tornado” begins with a set up that should be familiar to many current and former Midwestern students: a tornado drill. The concept of avoiding the mighty power of a tornado by gathering in a hallway and hoping it doesn’t notice you is ripe for comedic possibilities. A.P. Bio, however, decides to take things in a bit of a different direction. This premiere is a vessel for the students of Whitlock High to share slash fiction stories about their teachers with one another.
“One of the writers in the room, Jess Lacher, wrote the cold open of ‘Tornado’ almost word for word,” O’Brien says. “That stayed pretty much as is. We were like, ‘Maybe this is a whole episode.’”
Naturally the excursion into one of fandom’s most treacherous pastimes required some preliminary investigations.
“We did a decent amount of research (into slash fiction). I tried to get into the origins a little bit of it, which seemed to be maybe Spock and Kirk.”
As of press time, there is no available slash fiction about A.P. Bio characters that I’m aware of…yet.
Season 4 Episode 2 “Sweatpants”
The simplest of actions lead to the grandest of consequences on A.P. Bio. In this episode, that action is a dress code policy to curb bullying. The consequence is the formation of a cult, naturally.
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A.P. Bio Season 3 Preview: School’s Back In Session
By Alec Bojalad
“We were trying to use some of the tropes of real cults,” O’Brien says. “I feel like I’d just seen Midsommar, and I’ve been a fan for a long time of The Source Family. There’s so many good fiction and nonfiction cult movies and things to talk about, that writers are always talking about and imitating.”
What makes A.P. Bio’s cult particularly interesting is that it centers on sad sack student Victor (Jacob Houston).
“More than anything, we wanted to put it through Victor’s filter. So things he likes and hates are all given Jonestown-level of intensity.”
And that’s how you get delightfully strange scenes of a whole classroom yelling “Divorce! Divorce!” at things they don’t like.
Season 4 Episode 3 “An Oath to Rusty”
Following his break-up with the lovely Lynette (Elizabeth Alderfer), Jack needs some friends. Unfortunately, the only way he knows how to go about getting them is by asking them to play the world’s hardest board game
“I found Twilight Imperium by Googling ‘hardest games to learn.’ It’s always in the top five. It’s a lot,” O’Brien says. “Talk about going down deep rabbit holes. I spent more time learning tutorials on YouTube for that game than anything else.”
While Jack’s relationship struggles, this episode spends plenty of time with a trio of characters who are thick as thieves. Stef Duncan (Lyric Lewis) and Mary Wagner (Mary Sohn) find themselves frustrated with their friend Michelle Jones’s (Jean Villepique) refusal to tell them what case she worked on during jury duty. According to O’Brien, this is another concept that came directly from the writing staff’s “homework assignments.”
“That was a homework assignment from David Neher, who plays Geology Dave on the show. He just randomly brought in as his homework one time a thing where Stef and Mary are doing police sketches of a fully misunderstood thing from Michelle, who isn’t saying anything about her boring trial she was a jury member for.”
Season 4 Episode 4 “Tons of Rue”
Though the delightful Joe Manganiello notably pops up later on, cult movie star Bruce Campbell is A.P. Bio season 4’s biggest get. The beloved Evil Dead actor portrays Jack’s scumbag father who is trying to turn over a new leaf.
“That was so cool,” O’Brien says of bringing Campbell aboard. “He’s not as well known as Tom Cruise, but his fans are all fever pitch fans. Certain crew members and a handful of the writers were going nuts. I think Glenn was a big fan and really excited.”
Unfortunately for Howerton’s Jack, his father’s instincts to flee when things get too real win out again in the end. Though Campbell’s time on the show was brief, he left a big impact behind the scenes, according to O’Brien.
“He’s just so nice. I guess you’d hope it’s either that, or he’s like a weird psychopath that requires tiny orange juices to keep coming to work. But he’s gregarious and funny and nice and does a great job with the script. I loved having him around. I was a big Evil Dead fan in college, so it was the best.”
Season 4 Episode 5 “The Perfect Date From Hell”
So I’ll be frank: we ran out of time to discuss “The Perfect Date From Hell” with Mike O’Brien. And that’s a shame as there’s quite a bit going on here! From the introduction of Jack’s new love interest Shayla (Hayley Marie Norman) to Principal Durbin (Patton Oswalt) going all Undercover Boss, there was certainly plenty to unpack. Oh well, next time we’ll get to hear all about Durbs’ disturbing prosthetics.
Onto the next one!
Season 4 Episode 6 “Love, for Lack of a Better Term”
This is Victor’s second big showcase episode of the season, after serving as a cult leader in “Sweatpants.” This time around things are a lot less sinister. This half-hour serves as a parody of ‘90s teen romance movies (Third Eye Blind soundtrack and all) in which a lovable schlub goes for the popular girl and can’t realize his true love was in front of him the whole time.
“It ended up being a big Victor season. He kind of takes over this episode and has a couple of other really great moments,” O’Brien says.
Despite Victor’s clear status as MVP, O’Brien says it’s important for each student character to get their time in the sun.
“I would say I hope that all of (the students) shine at different moments, because they’re all so talented. It’s on the writing team to make sure we aren’t letting any of them slip through the cracks, even for one episode.”
Season 4 Episode 7 “Malachi”
It’s no secret that comedy titan Paula Pell is a big part of A.P. Bio’s success as school secretary Helen Henry Demarcus. Through three seasons, the show has treated her as a Paul Bunyan-esque character, capable of astonishing feats and fit to bursting with a positively insane backstory. While Helen has quite the internal history on A.P. Bio, the show has not yet fully reckoned with her as a sexual being until this season. And this is the episode that delves furthest into Helen’s horny heart to amazing success.
“She’s in and out of relationships that aren’t great all the time,” O’Brien says. “We cast Paula’s wife who is a very funny comedy writer and performer. That not only was really fun and exciting, because we know Janine (Brito), but in the midst of a very tense February and March COVID shoot it was a little bit of a relief for Paula and Janine to be able to kiss.”
The story of Paula and a waitress at a local bar’s torrid (and quick) love affair is quite madcap. But according to O’Brien, the show has considered some other off-the-wall possibilities for Helen’s love life in the past.
“We pictured she had a girlfriend who works on one of those fishing boats in Alaska, like Deadliest Catch. She’s there 363 days a year and then on one day Helen calls their “Purge dating day’, they try to have dinner, make out, and go to an amusement park and a concert, all in one day. That was probably a little too wacky.”
Season 4 Episode 8 “The Harvard Pen”
“The Harvard Pen” has a high concept befitting a season (or perhaps series?) finale. The episode flashes back all the way to Jack Griffin’s first day with the A.P. Bio class, which is somehow only “a few months earlier.” Jack gives one golden rule to the assembled students: never touch his Harvard pen. Naturally they do, and the episode follows the pen’s months-long journey to eventual oblivion.
Ultimately though, the real standout in this installment is the web series that the A.P. Bio kids have been producing with Heather (Allisyn Snyder) starring. Janet Fist is a ‘70s style cop drama in which the titular character is a receptionist who has an incredible ability to solve crimes…and to shoot everyone she sees full of lead.
“I used to write a lot of short stories about a ‘70s renegade cop that I would read when I was in improv in Chicago,” O’Brien says. “I thought ‘what if that was through the eyes of this kind of quirky high school girl? Maybe she’s not even allowed to be a cop in the ’70s.’ It becomes this kind of feminist statement that Heather wants to make. It was just really fun to write after that.”
If a fifth season of A.P. Bio isn’t in Peacock’s plans, we’re gonna need to go all-out on a Janet Fist spinoff fan campaign.
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A.P. Bio season 4 is available to stream on Peacock now.
The post An A.P. Bio Season 4 Episode Guide with Showrunner Mike O’Brien appeared first on Den of Geek.
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