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When I was a kid, we moved into a house that had a huge lilac tree out front. It was mostly rotten, and it needed to be taken down before it fell. It took a while, but eventually, it was gone.
Mostly. A couple years later, little lilac babies popped out of the ground in its place. My mom was determined to get rid of them, because she'd planted a beautiful flower garden there, and the lilac trees would overshadow and kill the whole garden. I insisted on saving at least a few saplings. She said fine, but I had to dig them out and put them in pots myself.
So, I did. I spent days digging little lilac bushes out of the ground and putting them into pots. Some couldn't be saved, but some could. When all was said and done, I had five brand-new lilac saplings. Seven or eight years old, and it was my absolute pride and joy.
Three died due to sun scorching, severe drought that no amount of watering could save, and perhaps just being moved from their place in the ground. But two survived, and I was awfully proud of them! I'd go out and talk to them every single day. I watered them by hand and made sure they were fertilized properly. I learned all about their favored environments, and I was determined to make sure they lived.
One of my mom's friends saw what I was doing with the lilacs. She asked if she could have one to put in her backyard, and I agreed on the condition that she take very, very good care of it.
It's now fucking enormous. I'm talking ten feet tall and bursting with beautiful purple flowers every spring. My mom still gets updates each year as they start to bloom, which she forwards to me. And all I can think is, "That's my friend! Thriving some twenty years on, there it is."
The other tree nearly died, too. It lived in a pot for far, far too long. I wanted to plant it somewhere in my parents' yard, but my mom was reluctant. Eventually, we agreed to put it in the far back garden. It grew okay for many years, despite the shade, but in all these years, it's never bloomed.
Last year, the massive tree casting massive shadows over the lilac and the garden cracked in half and fell. It tumbled into the garden, crushing part of the nearby shed and destroying a few plants beneath it.
It missed my lilac by inches.
The clean-up is long done. The rest of the tree has been cut down, and my lilac has full sunlight for the first time in fifteen years. It won't bloom this year, I know. But it's got new shoots up. It's taller than ever. I spent half an hour a few weeks ago praising it for surviving all this time, dreaming about its future and telling it how I believe it'll become the tall beauty it's always been meant to be.
I think next year, I'll see flowers.
#aese speaks#a little personal story for you all#the origin of my life-long relationship with lilacs#i've been a garden witch since i was very small! (:#green witch#garden witch#garden magic#the lilac post#hello to everyone reading the og tags on this:#it's a metaphor it's a true story it's real it's fiction it's a poem it's me rambling it's whatever you think it is#30k
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Have you seen my little lad?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin zixun#Everytime I have to write his name I feel like I'm running outside in a blood rain trying not to get wet. Misspelling it feels so inevitabl#But so far so good! He doesn't have too many more appearances before he gets Cheesed.#Dear god I love it when characters go on the war path for someone they care about.#And I love it even more when you have an ambiguity between personal debt and genuine act of selflessness.#WWX saving WN is purposefully messy! Like a lot of our real life reasons for how we act - there isn't a clear single cause or answer.#Sometimes we forget that we are a collection of experiences and learnt reactions.#Sometimes we forget that what we see on the surface is not the point to address. Everyone is more complex than we think. Even yourself.#And yet...it always comes back to love doesn't it? Attachment styles and self-esteem and bonds and relationships to others.#Everything comes back to love and our perceptions of it.#WWX is on a self-destructive war path and he will absorb as much damage as he can for those he feels obligated and attached to.#Does it make him feel needed? Does it give him purpose? Does it ease anxieties of the past? I do not think there is an answer.
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enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.
#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#aroace#loveless aro#loveless#non-partnering#nonpartnering#non partnering#nonamorous#aplatonic#enough of amatonormative tropes in media!!! enough 'you're miserable without love' stories!!!#less “you're too focused on ambitions to make you happy that you dont let yourself fall in love”#more “you're too focused on finding love to make you happy that you wont let yourself live”#more “there is so much more to life than love and so much more that can bring your happiness if you just let yourself experience it.”#maybe I should write this story#and when i say love i mean all love. not just romantic love.#which is why i tagged aplatonic too#while i mostly see this trope in terms of romantic love i think there's something to be said about#telling stories where people are perfectly content alone too#it doesn't have to be sad or pathetic to not have friends by choice. they dont have to be a miserable person to not have friends#i think we need more variety in stories where it shows people just content in their lack of love or relationships in all shapes#not everyone wants a family not everyone wants friends not everyone wants a partner not everyone wants love#some of us are content without. that should be explored without the need to fix it.
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YES many dynamics have like 7 of these at once. but i'm in A Mood. tell me about ur faves and their awful bullshit.
#i think everyone here knows which relationships this is about for me personally.#polls#codependency
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from Prokaryote Season by Leo Fox
#PLEASE read this it changed me…#the art is so phenomenal and the emotional impact… as a trans masc person who is a chronic people pleaser and wants everyone to love me#i was seen#also great depiction of dependence and unhealthy relationships despite wanting the best romance#whatever that means#anyway see if your library has it please!#graphic novel#lgbtq#lesbian#non-binary#comic#love#quotes#spilled ink#transgender#leo fox#prokaryote season#very much if i was a worm would you still love me#selfishness#savior complex#mine#dissociation#1k
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the machine.
a comic about being a 'creator' online.
creative notes:
#in light of recent online 'success' i feel like this may come off as ungrateful#just wanna say that all the comics i make in this series are written about experiences i felt in 2022#which was a rough year personally and creatively#and i very luckily don't feel this way anymore#and this also isnt to shame anyone who DOES feel this way#its easy to start to feel like all you are is a vending machine of art#and like thats all you are to people#theres nothing human to you#it can be a bit of a pit#and on some level this damage is self inflicted but social media really doesnt help that feeling#this wont work for everyone but having friends around you who you can talk to about stuff that ISNT art#going outside for dinner#maybe walking around#its good for when you need that feeling to go away even a bit temporarily#youre a human being#not a mindless content creation machine#and i hope anyone who feels like this now can get to a place where they have a healthier relationship with their own work#good luck to all of you#and thank you for reading#comic art#its 10pm#stillindigo art
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every time a tumblr post mlb rewrite mentions the fact that they're taking out marinette's 'obsessive stalker' characteristics an angel gets run over by a steamroller and fucking dies
#'but its--' YOU ARE REMOVING. PART OF ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING MORALLY GREY ASPECTS OF HER CHARACTER#***AND COMPLETELY DISREGARDING THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF EXPLORING PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS***#***AND THE LINES BETWEEN EROTOMANIC FASCINATION AND GENIUNE CONNECTION**#IF WE'RE ADDING IN MURDER AND STAKES AND HEAVY THEMES CAN WE THINK#T H I N K#FOR A SECOND ABOUT HOW MAYBE ITS OKAY FOR OUR MAIN CHARACTER TO BE A QUESTIONABLE PERSON???#SHE CAN LEARN FROM IT. YOU CAN WRITE AN ARC ABOUT IT.#SHE CAN NEVER LEARN FROM IT AT ALL AND HAVE HER OWN OBSESSION DOOM HER#OR YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OTP GET TOGETHER REGARDLESS AND SIT WITH YOUR POPCORN LIKE “wow aint that kinda fucked. wack”#BUT WHEN PEOPLE POINT OUT THE FRIDGE ICK AND FRIDGE HORROR WHY IS IT EVERYONE'S FIRST INSTINCT TO SCRUB IT OUT#****SIT***** WITH THE DISGUSTING FEELING IN YOUR STOMACH AND FUCKING BEFRIEND IT. EXPLORE THE IMPLICATIONS.#LET.#MARINETTE.#SUCK.
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hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au
turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else
now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident
also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out
#turbo#turbotastic#fix it felix jr#80s boyfriends#hammertastic#headcanon about them exchanging their trophies isn't mine but i loved it A LOT#and “darling” is turbo making fun of how felix was calling him in 80s#this hc about “doll” and “darling” pet names also is not mine but i adore it#turbo here is a complete freak who just stays around felix most of the time even when felix has moments with calhoun#and felix is an ass who keeps secrets from everyone bc he doesn't want his dirt to come out#he's ashamed of his previous relationship with turbo and doesn't want anyone to know any details#and calhoun to just know about it#this just gets worse and worse#they also didn't actually break up and were still technically dating when turbo went gamejumping#and he's mad af at felix because he's the reason ppl in the acrade made a boogeyman out of turbo and he couldn't come back#like imagine your bf says to you what you are better than others think of you#and then behind your (presumably dead) back tells everyone that you're just an egocentric maniac#i believe turbo has other reasons why he gamejumped (besides jealousy which took place but wasn't the most important reason)#and felix is an unreliable narrator#so yeah turbo HATES his ass#(but still would-) no im not making it suggestive#anyway i hc that turbo had put A LOT of emotions in this relationship even tho he's bad at this#he tried his best with felix but they were just making each other worse#and turbo while feeling betrayed never really moved on (yes even after 25 years he's PATHETIC)#and felix is just full of regret about everything but he won't admit his mistakes in his relationship with turbo#bc “well he turned out to be a bad person so that automatically makes me in the right about everything”#but felix had made a lot of bad decisions while dating turbo and was just classically ignorant about a ton of things#sorry about this random ass essay in tags i'm done for now#wreck it ralph#wir
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Minthara says “in Her name” when you first meet her and she’s following the Absolute but when you recruit her and she expresses that she no longer follows any god, but she still has an intact paladin oath, and she says “in your name” occasionally because she’s no longer Lolth’s paladin or the Absolute’s paladin, she’s your paladin
#😭#she might not think you’re a god or whatever but you’re the only one that ever came to save her#and if you let her read your mind you’re the only one she knows has no intention to hurt or use her#like I feel like what Minthara wants most of all is to not have to look over her shoulder or wait for the shoe to drop#like every relationship she’s had as a lolthsworn drow has come with the caveat that everyone will take her out if they have the chance#and if it benefits them even a little#lolth literally encourages this so long as you aren’t obvious about it#and lolth will 100% punish you the second she has an excuse to#and then the absolute like while she was being controlled probably felt more like genuine love than Minthara ever experienced#but it came with Orin and punishments for failing#and her being literallly mind controlled into her#so it’s still violent and threatening even if the extent of that is only realized after she’s pulled out of it#but then there’s you who pulled her out of that#who can clearly and plainly show her that you have no intention of hurting her even if it benefits you#and who went out of your way to rescue her when no one else she was devoted to ever would#and you offered her the means to not only stay safe from the absolute but to get revenge on it#of course it’s ‘in your name’ now you’re the only person that gave Minthara a reason for her to follow you#that wasn’t threats of violence and suffering#you literally gave her the opposite#she’s YOUR paladin it doesn’t matter if aren’t a god#you could be tho#Minthara#minthara baenre#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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Courting Chaos (to Balance)
A KlarionxDanny brain worm that has spawned
Tim Drake, aka Red Robin gets kidnapped suddenly and very randomly by Klarion in the middle of a JL and others meeting.
Leaving with a
"I'LL RETURN HIM WHEN HES NO LONGER USEFUL JUSTICE LOSERS!"
And fire and chaos in his wake.
While the JL, and others scramble to figure out what Klarion has planned this time, Tim manages to break free of whatever Klarion had used to kidnap him only to find himself on a couch and Klarion nervously petting Teekl on his lap while also sitting in a chair across from him.
When Tim goes to demand to know why Klarion kidnapped him Klarion finally speaks.
"Okay, I wanna strike a deal. I won't bug you or your little Young Just US buddies if you help me ask someone out..."
"...What the fuck Klarion?" Was Tim's only response.
-x-x-
So it turns out, every so often the three main entities and actual factions of Order, Chaos, and Balance get together to well discuss things happening in certain Realms, worlds, and timelines. Basicly to touch base, see where everyone was at. Etc etc.
Order was Order. Chaos was Chaos.
Very simple.
Both could be bad. To much order caused restraint and could snuff out growth. To much Chaos could get out of hand and cause ruin.
Both could be good. Order help stabilizes worlds and builds their future. Chaos allowed creativity to roam and brought forth wonderful things.
And Balance.
Well Balance was the very scales that kept both sides in check. They were neutral grounds. The ones that normally oversaw the meetings as well. And despite their low numbers they held powerful entities that more than made up for it.
Balance did their best to keep things in check, sure they do have their own preference sometimes and allowed the scales to tip a tiny bit but always corrected it later if it tips to much.
It was at this meeting, a meeting even Klarion knew better than to do anything too chaotic, pranks were fine but nothing too much, and had been chatting with a newcomer to the side of Chaos (Danielle, call me Ellie, Phantom. She did some heroing on the side but liked causing chaos in her wake to do so, he liked her so far though.) When the bells for the side of Balance to appear announced them.
Ellie had smiled brightly and said her brother was coming with his mentor, turns out her brother was apart of the Balance group which meant that he was strong, strong enough to need a mentor.
He watched as the members of Balance walked, teleported, flew, and other means into the meeting halls. And then froze when his eyes caught sight of him.
Floating next to a blue skined being that was switching ages was a beautiful otherworldly person.
Snow white hair that wisped upwards oh so softly. Glowing green eyes that were cat-like with their piercing glance. A galaxy cloak hanged around his shoulders and seemed to shift with each movement. Star like freckles decorated his face and seemed to glow a soft bluish white. A crown made of ice and aurora lights floated above his head as well.
All in all Klarion couldn't keep his eyes off of the being at all. He nearly spat his water out when Ellie commented that was her brother Danny, or rather.
High King of the Infinite Realms, Daniel 'Danny' Phantom. The Great One. Defeater of the Tyrant King. The Halfa. The Peaceful End. The Balance of the Undead. (And his mentor was the Ghost of Time itself. THE very Keeper of Time, Kronos original form himself.)
Klarion honestly didn't know what to think or rather what emotions he was feeling when he spotted Danny, nor why his face felt so hot and red when the young man looked over at them and smiled. (He was smiling at Ellie but Klarion for some reason hoped it was for him as well)
It wasn't until halfway in the meeting when a rather ingenious prank that Klarion, Ellie, and a few others had set up went off... thing was it strong enough that it had hit Danny's side of the meeting and had hit him.
Now, again pranks were okay but only after the meetings. It was one of the few rules many, even those in Chaos, took seriously because once it was done and over they could go do their things. So for it to happen in the middle of a meeting means someone set their time on the prank wrong and add the fact it hit a person on the Balance side...
Yeah not good.
Only...
Only instead of getting angry, even Clockwork who was seated next to Danny was chuckling, Danny threw his head back and laughed about it. And his laugh... was very cute.
And before he knew it, Klarion had already fallen.
-x-x-
"So yeah.... Since you have a boyfriend and know how to date in this modern age, I need your advice."
".... Klarion just because I'm dating Bernard doesn't mean I know how I did it..."
"Bernard? I thought you were dating that one Supes?"
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc#blue rambles#crossover#writing ideas#random idea#danny phantom dc#KlarionxDanny#ngl kinda based Klarion crushing off how my parents meet#they were at a party due to their siblings and my ma mentioned she was walking around and heard my dad's laughter above everyone's#said she really liked his laugh and found him at the party#very loosely based on my ma getting her crush on my dad#anyways Klarion is crushing hard#he cant ask Ellie though. He may have just meet her but he can sense shes gonna be a gremlin about it#so he goes to the one person he knows is a in a relationship! in the modern age too!#only he kidnaps Tim and well...#chaos#meanwhile Danny gushes to his friends about a cute chaos lord he spotted at the meeting#he wants to talk to him but Ellie is being a troll and not telling him anything about her new friend
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I am not immune to funny crackships.
+ Bonus
#*falsettos your chasitys*#this started out as a ‘aha yea they fucked once in highschool’ joke for me how did I end up here#it went from ‘Teddy: yea man it doesn’t count if your socks are on’ to queer teen situationship in the 90s angst with religious overtones#I would like to blame everyone who has made holybastard fanart/fanfics for converting me#I don’t see them as a long term relationship but more on an active affair between two old high school ‘friends’#I drew these while listening to The Last Dinner Party ans now I can’t stop thinking about holy bastard to some of their songs#‘picture me in bed- under your crucifix- under your long black hair- I’ll see you on Sunday’ are actual lyrics how can I not-#I just impor you to listen (there only 5 songs as of now) and do the same- ESPECIALLY SINNER ITS SUCH A MARK CODED SONG#who would have figured the queer ex religious person would be a sucker for queer relationships with religious themes#grace chasity#peter spankoffski#pete spankoffski#mark chasity#holy bastard#starkid#team starkid#starkid productions#starkid fanart#starkid animation#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#nerdy prudes must die fanart#npmd fanart#npmd starkid#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#hatchetfield universe#fanart#my art#my animation
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something i love abt princess tutu is that if u remove all the fantasy elements is that ur left with a pretty standard fucked up 4-person queer teenage situationship drama. like yea im sure that happened in Somebody’s ballet school
#We have it all…toxic codependent gay friendship…toxic codependent Relationship…that one friend everyone is in love with but who’s#too traumatized to be actually dateable by anyone (2 of these)….realizing ur bi cuz u get a crush on your crush’s girlfriend…#and 2 ppl rejected by the same person falling in love. The only thing missing is that they should all be smoking cigarettes#-_-#princess tutu
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Prompt:
Duke doesn’t know what’s going on with the crime lord that sometimes is, and then again isn’t allowed at the cave.
All he knows is that the mood of the entire manor takes a nose dive each and every time there‘s an altercation with him, and everybody goes out of their way to NOT explain anything to Duke.
So, as the only one in the manor with more than one brain cell dedicated to proper human interaction, he decides to take the easiest route and just ask Red Hood himself. Considering he‘s the only one the guy hasn’t tried to maim at least once.
#Duke‘s personality is equivalent to a sunflower#jason cannot hurt him#it would feel like kicking a puppy#and the guy‘s one of the few he doesn’t have any problems with#Duke perseveres through the mortifying ordeal of badgering a crime lord about his familial history#it goes pretty okay#and then promptly decides to to sort this shit out because literally everyone suffers#everyone feels bad and Duke is so done with it#he now makes it his mission to start mending family relationships#Duke tries to instill morals in Jason#Jason is ANNOYED#but also— have some hot chocolate kid#jason todd#Duke Thomas#prompts
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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winter assassin outfit
#zeno's art#ocs#reassassination#octavia krankenstein#oh i got a LOT to say about this one#in the comic octavia starts wearing this outfit after a certain event i think n its very symbolic#it represents mainly how her personality has changed as well as her relationship with kranken and humanity as a whole#lets do it top to bottom. FIRSTLY the mask that replaces her goggles that she wore in the “summer” outfit#the mask represents several things. firstly that octavia's relationship with kranken improved#i think the mask itself is probably kranken's and octavia uses it. showing that they've become closer#and ALSO even using a mask to hide her identity while working is in line with kranken's ideas of clothing being practical rather than flashy#(see her first outfit was originally really frumpy and practical before she DIY'd it into the minidress type thing)#anyway. the hoodie is supposed to harken more to an executioner showing octavia is more used to her job#the hoodie has eyelets which are circles. the fact that there are way more circles in the design shows that she becomes less cold#and more assimilated into human society#the gloves however are a sign of her persistent rebellion as they're fingerless and impractical lol#the pants are based off of tripp nyc's design. which was popular with mallgoths in the 90s/00s#it shows octavia's own personality and interests and of course has two hidden sets of 6's through the eyelets#lastly her shoes resemble skulls. that one's just for fun#while her first outfit completely represented rebellion i like to think this one bridges the gap between rebellion and octavia settling down#and becoming more familiar with those around her#this is only the first pass so i'll prob incorporate more red into the outfit before it's finalised#octavia isn't the only one who changes either! i want like ~3 changes for almost everyone
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i dont think i will ever forgive what the internet did to DID because please explain to me how "your sense of self is so torn apart you think youre multiple people" turned into "youre actually multiple people"
do you understand what i mean? please understand what i mean
#kostik speaks#yes cat 3 are real things ive been told and things that honestly really traumatised me and ruined my relationship with myself & disorder#some reassurance im not the only person who finds this super upsetting would be nice#my mental illness: causes harrowing feelings of disconnection from my life and a tendency to disown and/or reject my identity#some people for some fucking reason: reinforces the mental illness in ways never thought possible#i love and appreciate everyone who knows about my bullshit and yet doesnt deny me my personhood or treat me like some freak#i got really triggered about this yesterday so ive deleted the bulk of the tags i wrote (dehumanisation trauma when)#but i stand by this and ive been assured i make sense so sure. posting#this is the real reason i hate giving my disorder by name if you even care. it is specifically this treatment#did tag
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