sexyricod

[heegyukeluv]

your eyes only (lhs) - req

pairing: heeseung x afab & musical actress!reader

synopsis: You were used to having all eyes on you; after all, as a renowned musical actress, capturing everyone's attention was part of your job. But the moment you noticed a pair of eyes in the audience gazing at you with such passion, you knew things would change.

my's note: first and foremost A✨!!!!! YOUR VISION!!!!!! please i’m so happy you gifted me with the pleasure of developing this super cute and loving story. i really had so much fun writing it, and i hope you like it too!! also during the smut scene i got a bit carried away by these pics and maybe i’ve dedicated too much time talking about heeseung’s arms 😀 not sorry btw

warnings: fluff, small angsty (but with a happy ending!!!), explicit language, SMUT - so minors DO NOT interact!, protected sex 💪🏻, fingering, kinda rough sex? (this is the roughest i think i can do, unironically lol). lmk if I missed something!

request: reader is a musical actor/actress who takes many roles in musicals, plays, some movies and so and so forth. heeseung goes to one of the reader's musicals and is enamored by their voice and talent, and of course, their looks. (read the full request here!)

wc: 19k

NOT PROOFREAD.

taglist 💖: @yvnempire

Heeseung rushed his way out of his car, jogging through the people in the middle of his route to get to the theater as soon as he could, already knowing Sunoo was so pissed off with his lateness.

He spotted the blonde haired furiously typing on his phone with a scowl expression, alone, waiting for him.

“Don’t even start with your lame excuses,” Sunoo stopped Heeseung before he said anything when he finally got to the younger’s side, glaring up from his phone and already hurrying his steps towards the theater entrance. 

“I’m sorry,” Heeseung tried his best to sound apologetic, softening his gaze, opting for not making up any justification.

It wasn’t like he purposely got stuck in the traffic at all, however, he definitely was guilty about leaving the house twenty minutes later than he promised, just because he decided to finish up his League game. 

It was Saturday, of course he would choose to spend some screen time doing his favorite hobby. 

“I know you don’t like musicals, or almost anything related, but you kinda gave me your word, so…” 

They both walked side by side, stopping quickly to show their tickets to the worker who let them in after verifying it in the system. 

“I know, I know. And I’m really sorry.”

The lights were already off as the show was about to start, making them struggle a bit to find their seats; close to the edge and not too far from the stage.

“You won’t regret coming, Hee.” Sunoo smiled sweetly, already at ease with his behavior, picking up his phone to take a picture of the glowing set, just waiting for the right moment to start. He wasn’t really pissed with Heeseung, he knew the older one was actually doing him a favor. “I saw some pictures on instagram and it’s so pretty.”

Although Sunoo wasn’t lying about him, he was actually excited with the idea of watching something so different from his natural liking, and the bright, enthusiastic face Sunoo showed made his expectations grow even higher. 

Heeseung diverted his eyes to the theater main floor when the instrumental started sounding through the speakers, indicating the play was about to start, a shiver of excitement running all the way through his spine while he straightened his back on the chair.

The story was being told from the main character’s perspective, as expected. But what really got Heeseung tilting his head to the side and his eyes glistening in interest was the incredible beauty of the actress.

She had expressions on point, as if she was born to be there, happily wandering through the whole stage with bright smiles, looking at the crowd once and a while and acting with pure talent. She shone in between the other actors, drawing attention easily towards her. Of course she had the main character aura that helped it a lot, however, at some point Heeseung was sure that he, himself, had an extra spotlight on her, eyes never leaving her meticulously calculated movements and attractive face.

The way she showed raw emotions from the beginning got Heeseung laughing, worried and relieved – a rollercoaster of emotions he never thought he would go through just by watching a Tangled musical.

He also caught himself wishing for the actress to drift her eyes through the crowd just once more, so she would feel his intense gaze and look at his way, in a very utopic, hopeless, line of thought.

When the said Aurora got the chance to finally sing, Heeseung just let himself completely fall in love, unconsciously sighing as his heart faltered a beat every once. He didn’t expect her to have such a loving, enchanting, singing voice, making his body ache in despair to have more of it.

The final act got him all smiling, clapping his hands with genuine enthusiasm as the actors bowed to the crowd thanking them for watching. When the curtains dramatically closed, Heeseung inclined his head a bit to the center so he could watch you going away, leaving him with a taste for more.

He thought about trying to go to the backstage, especially when he saw a few people lining up apparently to get a photo with the cast, but Sunoo was already walking his way out of the theater and he deduced it had some kind of special ticket to get that.

“Who is Aurora?” Heeseung eagerly asked Sunoo when they stepped out of the theater, walking through the parking lot. He had literal crossed fingers hidden inside his jacket pockets, in hopes of Sunoo knowing about the actress.

Sunoo playfully raised an eyebrow. “I know you don’t like musicals, but not to know who Aurora is, is kinda–”

“No, I meant the actress,” Heeseung hurried to correct himself, blaming the fact he was still in awe. “Do you know her name?”

“Oh,” Sunoo replied by taking his phone out of his pocket and opening his instagram, showing the screen to Heeseung. “It’s Y/N. She’s one of the most famous actresses for musicals like that. I love her acts, like all of them,” he replied with a big smile, gesturing with his hands. 

Heeseung quickly got his phone to follow you after getting your username, not even caring about thanking Sunoo as he slid through your cute feed, shamelessly liking some of them. It wasn’t like you would notice him, as you had thousands of followers and a very busy routine, as it looked like.

And oh, you were so, so beautiful.

“So, how do you like it?” Sunoo asked with a small smirk when they stopped by Heeseung’s car, not failing to notice how the older one got really invested, although he wasn’t much sure if the fixation was about the musical itself or you.

“Honestly?” Heeseung locked his phone and opened his car. “I loved it more than I expected,” he answered with a genuine smile, a smile that did nothing to hide his real interest.

“It’s a pity this is the last one,” Sunoo said with a small pout when he entered the car, sitting on the passenger seat.

“W–What do you mean the last one?” Heeseung halted all his movements to fully face Sunoo with a slightly bewildered expression, who offered him confused eyes and a small frown.

“It’s the last Tangled musical they're gonna do,” he explained. “Y’know, they don’t do the same musicals over and over again. Especially with Y/N. She’s constantly casted for new ones,” Sunoo added, watching Heeseung’s face softening in relief before he started to drive. 

“You seem to know a lot about her,” Heeseung said with curiosity, eyeing Sunoo quickly before paying attention back to the road, the street lights passing by working as a beautiful background.

“Yeah, I really love her work.” He said with a dreamy tone, and Heeseung nodded, since now he was kind of loving your work too. “It’s a shame we don’t get to have more from her here in the town.”

“Hm?” Heeseung's head snapped to face Sunoo, and gladly he had stopped at the red light in time. 

“Musicals work almost like a band tour. They go through the whole country, stopping by cities for one or two weeks, it depends on the demand. This one had a three week engagement here!” He said excitedly, Heeseung paying attention to every detail. His heart sank inside his chest with the now acknowledgement of how your job worked, and the fact that he definitely wasn’t going to see you soon. “But college got me stuck, so I didn’t have the time to come and watch it. That’s why today was so special, as I texted you. It was the last one.”

“Thank you for inviting me,” Heeseung said with a tender, genuine smile.

Heeseung’s car stopped by Sunoo’s place, and with a quick goodbye he left, leaving behind a completely silent Heeseung, lost in his own thoughts. How would he feed his newest obsession?

When Heeseung finally got back into his apartment, he cared little about changing his clothes into something more comfortable, sprawling on the couch while stalking your social media for a bit.

He watched your newly posted instagram stories, most of them being reposts of videos and photos from the audience that tagged you into it, saying how proud of you they were, how much they liked and how pretty you looked. 

Heeseung remembered Sunoo taking a picture of the set before the play started, and quickly asked him for it so he could post it on his story as well, using the lame excuse that he wanted to show his followers his most new-found interest.

Of course Sunoo didn’t really bought it, but sent it anyway. 

Heeseung had never felt nervous about posting something on his instagram, especially on his story, a place where pictures and videos only lasted 24 hours. Nevertheless, in the past you weren’t in the equation, you weren’t the main target, you didn’t even existed to him. So he double-checked the small text and if the picture looked good enough to stand out in between the probably hundred others you got tagged into, pressing the “send” button.

“First time watching it. I loved it so much. You really know how to catch people's attention @ y/n ;)”.

As the picture loaded, Heeseung instantly wondered if it was too much, with widened eyes and heart pacing fast, panicking a bit as he paid close attention to how some of his friends liked and replied to it almost immediately, but nothing came from you.

He waited for a few minutes for your possible repost, since you were online just seconds ago, scrolling through his timeline, a chill feeling overgrowing in his chest every time the small red ball of notification painted the top of his phone. Then he let out a defeated sigh as the reality settled in – meeting you was unlikely, and the chances of someone as famous as you noticing an ordinary guy like him seemed impossible.

That night he hopelessly hoped to dream about you and your voice, so he could experience more of your distant, idol-like presence. He was so intrigued about you. Your beautiful features, your perfect acting, your incredible voice, everything extremely fascinating for his poor, weak heart.

Unfortunately Heeseung did not dreamt about you, but he woke up with his phone buzzing under his pillow. 

With eyes squinting, Heeseung tried to understand why he got followed by a bunch of random people on instagram from last night. There were also a lot of texts from Sunoo in caps lock that his mind skipped reading and his everyday notifications that he always ignored. And then his attention was caught with your name.

He expected you to repost as you were doing for the majority of your fans, but you didn’t only reposted. You replied to him, directly.

“Thank you, sweetheart! Hope to see you more, then <3”

“It’s just a message. She probably sends it to everyone. She seems reachable through her social media.”

Heeseung was trying to convince Sunoo – and himself – that your reply meant nothing but a simple, standard gesture from an artist thanking their fans. After all, he was a grown man who understood how the industry worked, how they encouraged fanservices as a way of attracting more people from the outside and maintaining the ones who already considered themselves as fans. 

Albeit his heart danced a different melody than his mind, doing flips just by remembering your sweet words.

“I don’t think so,” Sunoo retorted with a small grimace as he finished cleaning the corner of the cafeteria’s main counter. “The usual?” He asked Heeseung before getting ready to make his drink.

“Yeah, I’m running late for work,” Heeseung replied, glancing at his phone just to confirm that he probably would be ten minutes late to that morning’s meeting. 

“But I think you should shoot your shot, y’know,” Sunoo said with a grin while mixing all the ingredients. “Slide into her DM’s or something.”

Heeseung couldn’t hold back a small chuckle, leaning his upper body on the counter. “Is that how young people flirt nowadays?” 

Sunoo threw an offended glare at him. “Don’t act like you’re an oldie. You’re literally only 2 years older than me,” Heeseung laughed loudly at his reaction, shaking his head.

“I won’t do any of that, Sunoo,” he said softly and straightened his posture. “I’d rather just follow her work from afar. Me being in the audience and her, on the stage. That’s the closest I can get from her,” he now spoke more firmly, as if he tried to ground Sunoo’s expectative – and his own – down to reality. 

He spent his whole Sunday watching filmed performances from some of your old plays, unable to get enough of your angelic voice, your palpable talent, and of course, your gorgeous, captivating outstanding looks. The knowledge that your job made you be constant for a year or less, and then you were away for months, preparing for the next musical, shattered his hope and made him accept that he would have to wait for you to return.

“Well, you do you. But in my personal opinion, you’re missing a big opportunity,” Sunoo handed Heeseung’s coffee, waiting for the charge and the usual tip.

Once again, Heeseung shook his head, smiling and paying for his drink. “Thank you, have a great day Sunoo.”

“You too, Hee.”

Heeseung wouldn’t admit that easily, but he gathered some of his favorite performances from you in a youtube playlist, so he could listen to it while driving through the city, the way to his work sounding prettier with your beautiful voice echoing in his ears. 

As he parked his car, rushing to his meeting, he didn’t felt the large amount of stress he normally dealt with during Mondays, your melodic singing still fresh on his mind, easing the way he handled things through the day. 

The following weeks passed fast with his daily routine; you, still filling up his head in an addicting mix of your sweet vocals and his eagerness of witnessing you owning the stage again.

Heeseung craved the electrifying rush of his heart racing with wonder after you captivated his soul he once felt when first watched you perform, as if he was in abstinence. 

He monitored your social media for almost two months, hoping to see an announcement of your next musical or anything similar enough to give him a chance to listen and see you live, feeling extra hyped whenever he saw a picture of your practice, or other things related to your upcoming project.

He never got so invested in something or someone the way he was in you, especially after just so little time tasting from the source.

During a random Tuesday, fauxing listening to Jake’s rant about his new love interest and how confused he was feeling, he caught himself traveling through his own head, wondering what triggered this obsessive behavior.

Was it how dreamy you looked and sounded?

Was it the fact that he had to wait to get more from you?

Or maybe was the fact you were unreachable, acting like a bait to his delusional romantic heart?

Did he really fell in love with a famous person?

How bad was that? 

“And you're ignoring me again.”

Heeseung blinked a few times to regain his consciousness back to reality, the one where Jake was shooting him an annoyed look and his food was getting cold; the thoughts about you and his respective questions evaporating from his mind quickly. 

“I’m sorry, I’m a bit distracted today,” Heeseung slurped his, now, cold ramen, avoiding Jake’s judgmental eyes and grabbing his phone to see the notification that got it buzzing on the table.

“Oh, you tell me.” He rolled his eyes, before giving a quick head nod at Heeseung’s direction. “What’s going on?”

“Uh, nothing. You can continue your–” Heeseung was about to change the subject back to whatever Jake was talking, not wanting to admit that the reason he got so zoned out was you, although Jake was pretty much aware of this part of his friend’s life; Heeseung being a mess and failing completely in the art of downplaying. But then he saw Sunoo’s message. “Oh shit.” 

“What?” Jake asked with concern, observing Heeseung’s expression morphing from a shocking one with widened eyes and mouth slightly agape, to an extremely joyful one, with a big smile creeping out of his lips, growing gradually.

“Oh shit, oh shit.” 

“What!?” Jake exasperated, almost jumping over the table to try and see what got Heeseung so excited on his phone, curiosity overtaking him. “Huh?” He tilted his head with confusion, sitting back on his chair, trying to understand Heeseung’s overly stoked reaction over a simple poster from a musical.

On the other hand Heeseung’s heart was racing too quickly for his own liking, his hands faltering the grip on his phone as he read the dates for the performances, which were starting that weekend in some random place he didn’t paid attention since what caught his eyes was the theater name from the next week. 

He couldn’t believe it.

You were coming back.

After all the waiting, here was the chance he'd been craving – the chance to see you live again. His fingers twitched with excitement as he clicked on the link to the ticket sales, not even caring about Jake’s bewildered face and questions, too focused on rushing to the ‘buy menu’.

“Oh shit, this is happening,” Heeseung muttered to himself, more to confirm it than to explain anything to Jake.

“Are you gonna tell me what the hell is going on or just forget I’m right here?” Jake demanded, clearly frustrated but also amused by Heeseung's sudden outburst.

Heeseung finally looked up, beaming, eyes gleaming with something Jake never really saw before; it was like a child who got their first videogame after years of asking for it.

"It’s her, Jake! That singer I told you about. She’s performing here in like… A few days?" The cool facade he tried to maintain had a fall long ago, his ‘fanboy side’ being more revealed than he wanted.

Jake’s confusion lingered for a second before he remembered Heeseung relentlessly talking about this mysterious woman, the musical actress who had somehow captivated his friend so intensely. He let out a knowing groan. “So, you’re still obsessing over her, huh?”

“Not obsessing,” Heeseung corrected with a grin that betrayed him, his whole expression showing that he was, in fact, obsessing. “Just… Eager.”

Jake shook his head, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Eager, huh?” He leaned closer, raising an eyebrow up. “Yeah, that’s what everyone says, and then they spend a fortune on front-row tickets."

“Oh, right. Front-row…” Heeseung mumbled to himself as he got back to his phone, browsing through the available seats, hands slightly trembling as his finger pressed down to choose one of the best seats in the theater – front and center – with Jake’s words echoing in his mind. Thanks to Sunoo, he saw the announcement just in enough time to pick that one, and he completely ignored the price for the said ticket. 

“You’re really doing this?” Jake asked, incredulous watching Heeseung smile growing just before he bit his lower lip trying to contain it, as he leaned back on his chair. 

“I have to,” Heeseung said, finding it hard to not smile. His whole body was partying with his heartbeat serving as the background music. "This is my chance to see her again."

Jake rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide his amusement. “You’re so random.”

“Yeah,” Heeseung admitted with a shrug, his thoughts already drifting to the date he would see you, imagining your captivating presence on stage, singing with your ethereal voice, finally feeling every note in the same room as you with the attention you deserved.

He couldn’t wait.

Every time you opened a new show in a different city, your body reacted as if it was your first time on stage, the blended nervousness and excitement working perfectly together and resulting in an adrenaline boost for you to be on cloud nine. 

You loved your job with all your soul. The family-like friendship you developed with your beloved crewmates and actors, the backstage of the plays where you sometimes helped with the props letting your creativity flow freely, the difficult work of memorizing the scenes keeping it to the original at the same time you add a few self-written lines here and there, even the chaos of the quick costume changes and fast makeup touch-up in between scenes.

But what got into your heart the most was the ability to sing your voice out, being the one under the spotlight, expressing yourself through your acting, surprising people with your so known talent the same amount you made them clap for your breathtaking performances – the cheers after every play you finished making you fulfilled, a constant feeling of accomplishment. 

You worked hard to get into that position though. Years of intense studying in college, years of hard vocal lessons you still took to this day, years of working much to be paid less, until fame hit you and things have worked amazingly well since then. 

Now, facing the closed curtains already in your performer mode, you waited your cue to enter the stage and own it as if it was yours – and almost every time, it actually was. 

“Thirty seconds, Y/N,” your stage manager said to you and you nodded.

The new play was about an old film called Anastasia, in which you played the role of the said character. It also featured one of your favorite songs to sing, "Once Upon a December”. The haunting melody and lyrics evoked feelings of nostalgia, hitting deep on you as you drove yourself through it, just like the main character, searching for your identity and place in the world.

The atmosphere your fellow actors and crewmates created while you sang was the epitome of your presentation in your opinion; the created ballroom simulating phantoms dancing around you, so endearingly majestic and graceful, while they, themselves, sang the background, mimicking the lost memories of royalty Anastasia. 

It would be an euphemism if you expressed yourself as just excited, especially due to your practice time on your expressions and voice changes to sound as heartbreak as the musical actually was, expecting the general opinion to enjoy it as much as you did.

You could hear the buzz from the public, showing the same enthusiasm. And with that in mind, you got your cue to enter the stage, fast and confident steps guiding you to your place.

As you directed yourself through the stage gracefully, easily taking the breath of anyone watching you, once more the sentiment of belonging eveloped you with a mix of love and deep sense of purpose.

The cheering, the emotional tears, the claps. You felt the audience's admiration through their eyes as the final note echoed in the theater while you held your last pose, breathing heavily as the weight of your performance resonated in your heart.

The curtains closed after you and the other actors bowed to the crowd, who gave a standing ovation to all of you. Your smile was bright and big as you walked your way to the backstage, high-fiving your co-workers – your friends –, sharing the sentiment of accomplishment as you searched for some water, throat extremely dry after so much effort. 

Before you could even think about anything else, someone suddenly bear-hugged you.

“I don’t know how you manage to awe me everytime.”

You laughed, letting your friend lift and swirl you. “Oh come on, Jay. You literally saw every single practice,” you said with a light-hearted teasing tone and Jay gently put you back on the floor, letting you go from his strong embrace. 

He rolled his eyes before replying. “You did amazing, as always.”

“We did amazing. It's teamwork, don’t forget it,” you winked at him and you both walked to one of the couches, so you could sit and rest for a bit. Your knees burned like hell after spending so much time wandering across the stage. “I wouldn’t be able to do any of that alone, especially without my favorite producer,” you nudged his shoulder playfully, drinking more of your water, making Jay chuckle.

The whole cast and some other crewmates came to compliment your amazing performance, you praising them back and always highlighting how grateful you were to have them not only as co-workers, but as a family, acknowledging the strong importance of their roles during your performances and in your life.

You went through the things that needed to be fixed for the next shows with your stage manager, the small changes in positions for the next theaters the tour would go based on their size and structure, while listening to the equipment and props crew discussing similar stuff.

“So… Where are we going to celebrate our “Anastasia debut”?” Yunjin asked, already frustrated with the fact that all her fellow members were talking about work just after working, you included.

“Don’t you have work to do?” You shoot her a small, playful grimace and she mimicked it, mocking you. 

“I just did it, idiot.”

You smiled big as you hugged her from the waist, pulling her closer while resting your cheek on her belly, before questioning. “Where do you wanna go?”

Although partying wasn’t a part of your overall interest, having some drinks with the ones you cherished to be around always sounded fun, so with Yunjin leading – as usual –, many of you followed her into a small pub, having the fun you deserved after months of work that leaded to that night’s rewarding performance. 

You couldn’t wait for the upcoming ones, your schedule packed with the amount of dates programmed for a long, exciting, run.

“Ugh, I love Seoul,” Yunjin murmured with a concentrated frown as she took some pictures from the bus window. 

You chuckled, quickly glancing at your friend before grabbing your phone so you could reread some of the lines from the musical. Not that you struggled with memorizing the great amount of words you normally got, but you never let the chance to do a double check-up pass; always offering your bestest to your beloved audience was your prime motto. 

So you didn’t even realize when the bus started slowing its speed, snapping out of your focused bubble only when you started to hear a small chant of your name. You looked up from your phone screen, watching a little crowd pass by the glass window waving at it showing big smiles, without even knowing if someone was noticing or not. 

You always did.

Part of your job was to handle an audience, to make them fall in love with your acting and singing, so you could maintain them as close as possible and keep being able to live from what you loved the most. You enjoyed the interactions, treating them with the same amount of kindness and fondness they showed you through cute texts and letters, not to mention their words whenever they got to meet you in person. You tried to make yourself as available as you could, organizing your day to always have some free time to talk with your fans through your social media. 

Although exhausting sometimes, it was a worthwhile endeavor at the end of the day – to sleep with the fresh conscience and heart fulfilled, feeling their genuine love and support, no money could pay that.

When you finally settled at your hotel room, you gave yourself a small self-love treatment by taking a long shower and doing your skin care before heading to the theater with part of the cast to do all the warm-ups routine you needed.

The day carried a revitalizing sensation, your heart thumping with enthusiasm as the third performance of Anastasia approached. This time, however, it was more than special. It was in Seoul, your hometown – a simple fact that worked perfectly as an emotional aura for your background story.

Seoul always held a special place in your heart. No matter how the tour went, you made sure your managers knew that taking Seoul off the list was unforgivable; no matter the demand, no matter how much you could lose financially, you had to perform there. And you thanked your cast and respective crewmates for understanding your request.

While you wrapped up all the final touches from your makeup, hair and costume, drinking your last sip of water, you waited for your cue, as usual, unaware of the surprises the night held for you.

Because on the other side of the story...

Heeseung sat on his front seat with hands trembling and a fluttering heart. Every movement from the crew organizing the set to be perfect made him sweat in eagerness. He was so close to see you again, to witness your charming presence, your divine vocals. He didn’t knew much about the story from Anastasia, expecting for you to sweetly tell him through your performance. 

He was actually absorbed in the story being told, albeit his leg shaking showed his anticipation for your appearance. 

Thenyou finally stepped up onto the stage. Heeseung’s breath got caught on his throat, widened eyes glued on your every move, on your every expression, never daring to let you escape out of its sight; the front-row seat offering him the perfect view of your amazing looks and talented acting, the sound echoing through the theater tingling his ears in the best way possible.

Then your voice filled up the theater. Heeseung let out a quiet sigh, mouth slightly opened, feeling light headed by how gorgeous you sounded – there was it again, the rush of his heart fluttering in the addicting way it did before, entranced by you, this time intensified, stronger, far more passionate. 

As the melody of “Once Upon a December” flew through the air, your beautiful, shooting tone made it even harder not to shed some tears, alongside the couples dancing around you in an atmosphere almost painfully beautiful.

Heeseung was so enamored by every detail of you. How you expressed emotions with your body, with your singing, with your facials. His gaze never left you, following through your out’s and in’s from the stage to change outfits or scenes, missing you every moment you weren’t on the stage.

During your performance, each glimpse you shot at the crowd sent a shiver down his spine, as he silently begged for you to give him one, quick, minimal look, the smallest attention you could offer to him. 

For a brief second, you did. Not intentional, but your eyes meet for milliseconds. Heeseung’s heart skipped a beat; the way you smiled as if it was to him fed his delusional self too hard for his own liking. He had to ground himself back to reality in order to continue to savor your captivating performance. 

From your point of view, something was different that night. Among the sea of concentrated, curious expressions you normally faced while on stage, one particular person kept drawing your attention in a way it never happened before. 

You came across many people watching you, most of them with widened eyes, or mouth open, or a small smile, regular reactions you got from the audience once you showed up.

However, the young man sitting in the front-row flooded you with such endearing reactions; his eyes gleaming with admiration, intensely following your every move almost making you blush. He looked at you as if you were the only person in the room. Soft, tender expression sending a weird mix of reactions through your body.

As you kept doing your act, you couldn't help but glance back at him again whenever you got the chance, trying your best not to be obvious with your sudden curiosity about this stranger who seemed so completely captivated by you.

His reaction was almost adorable – the way his face lit up, as though your small acknowledgment had made his entire night. You felt a warmth in your chest, knowing that someone out there was this touched by your performance.

Through the rest of the play, you forced yourself to focus only on finishing it perfectly. “Anastasia” asked for less of a passion, happy ambiance and more of a sentimental one, and because the spotlight was constantly on you, it was very unprofessional to forget your main reason to be there and falter on your acting.

Nevertheless, each time you quickly landed your gaze on the strange, young – and attractive – man, you couldn’t help. He wasn’t just a regular fan. There was something more in his orbs, something deeper, something magnetic, and you caught yourself having an internal conflict. 

As you held your pose for the last piece of the play, showering emotion through your eyes for the happy ending, you nodded proudly to yourself when the cast prepared to wrap things up with the final performance.

Whoever the strange was, you apparently made quite an impression. And maybe, just maybe, he had made one on you too.

“Anastasia” was scheduled to be performed for three consecutives days, an entire weekend. Heeseung bought tickets for all of them, craving to experience you in all the ways he was able to – with the big stage separating you both, leaving him to just observe you from afar while you did your job.

Your job.

After the first night finished, Heeseung questioned himself whether he was perceiving things beyond reality, maybe distorted, influenced by his strange, yet pleasant and intense feelings for you. If not, he was pretty sure that you watched him as much as he watched you.

He recognized the flips his heart did every time your eyes landed on him, just to avoid quickly and slip back into your character – the need of seeing you again being reinforced by those exact little glimpses towards his direction, a river rushing through his head, full of confused thoughts.

Still, he reminded himself not to get too carried away. After all, you were working, captivating the audience was your job, which you did gracefully, gorgeously, charmingly. And charmed he was, in every possible sense of the word. 

By the second night, Heeseung arrived earlier than he planned, the excitement to see you again swelling in his chest. Though this time he wasn’t on the front-row either alone, he still got a great seat to see you.

“I can’t believe you liked the musical that much to see it again,” Sunoo teased with a small smile.

Heeseung’s cheeks warmed instantly, a faint blush decorating it as he avoided Sunoo’s glance, before saying. “Y–yeah, I liked the musical a lot. I had to see it again,” he offered an award laugh, looking down his lap.

“Right. The musical.” 

Heeseung was about to respond when the lights began to dim, the known introductory instrumental and the storyteller started to play their roles. His heart skipped a beat as his head lifted, eyes following the actors entering the stage as they started to tell the plot. 

Just like before, as soon as you stepped onto the stage, his eyes glued on your beautiful figure. You looked even prettier that day, although you didn’t change anything since last night.

For a millisecond your emotional eyes drifted quickly to the crowd and Heeseung’s breath hitched, eager for you to notice him in order to confirm his delusional state, or worse, do the reverse, making him understand he was looking at the situation using too much of his romantic side.

His seat was not an easy spot to see him, and somehow that comforted his inner self. If he was right about last night, you would catch his presence, his intense, focused, admiring orbs following your every move. Otherwise, he would give up on whatever he was feeling about you.

On the other hand, Heeseung barely knew you were having a strong internal debate every time you went backstage to get out of your scene after finishing it. Heeseung had no idea you were looking for him like crazy, the best way you could. Heeseung couldn’t even imagine you, out of all the actors, would be using your highlight time, singing, to search for his mysterious presence, pretending to look at the audience as you normally did. 

And you found him during “Once Upon a December” as you expected to do, since it was your moment to sing facing the crowd.

Ironically enough, the exact time you sang the line “Someone holds me safe and warm”, you locked eyes with him – caught totally out of guard, your heart started thumping in your chest too fast for your liking as you widened your eyes, then quickly recomposed yourself and fluttered your eyelids shut, concentrating on singing your emotional song. 

Somehow you got captivated by his mysterious, yet gentle aura, standing out so easily among the sea of people, offering you cute and genuine reactions, showering you with admiration. Like a magnet, you kept glimpsing at him, finding it, again, adorable, how he always held eye contact, seeming a bit surprised, and then shyly drifted away. Even after finishing your solo, you couldn’t divert your gaze.

Heeseung, however, was a total mess. He noticed everything, and as an automatic response his heart was pacing fast, his throat getting dry and his mind spinning. It couldn't be a coincidence that you glanced at him that often mid-performance.

“I might be crazy,” Sunoo whispered out of the blue, using the loud sound of the singers doing their performance to stifle his voice. “But is Y/N looking at us? Or better, at you?”

Heeseung drifted his bambi eyes to Sunoo and back to the stage, frowning. “You–”

“See! She did it again!” Due to his exasperated way of saying, his whisper sounded a bit high. Some people gave him a mad grimace, he huffed an embarrassed laugh.

"She's an actress. She probably looks at a hundred people like that every night," Heeseung explained with a low voice, trying to convince himself more than Sunoo.

“Whatever you say,” Sunoo grinned at his friend before returning to watch the play.

As expected, the musical ended gracefully after a few moments of tension and the story finished to be told. Your acting skills shone through you every move, captivating the audience until the last second. 

The lights dimmed once more, and the applause echoed through the theater vigorously in appreciation for that amazing show. Heeseung standed up to clap along, not even hiding he was searching for you amidst the chaos. When the cast bowed to the crowd, looking at them after straightening up to face the audience, a last and steady eye contact was held before the curtains closed, leaving Heeseung speechless, mouth slightly agape.

“Even if she looks at everyone, she had some special eyes for you tonight.” Sunoo said low near to Heeseung’s ear, feeding all his thoughts.

Heeseung left the theater more confused than he expected, trying to figure out if the connection was true, or if all the world decided to trick his mind. In any case, he had one more day to untangle the blended strings of his sentiments, and maybe, if he was lucky enough, the last show would work differently from the other two.

You were removing your makeup on your hotel room desk, Yunjin sitting on your bed finishing her own skin care routine. 

“I know this sound crazy and unprofessional, but last night there was a guy on the front-row–”

“The burgundy-haired guy! He couldn’t stop looking at you!” Yunjin cut you off, saying loudly and too excitedly.

Your head snapped towards her. “Burgundy– Wait, you’ve noticed him too!?” You asked flabbergasted, before going back to cleaning your skin, removing your makeup.

“Of course I did, he was almost eating you alive,” she said, rolling her eyes as she applied her skin toner. You looked at her again, but now with a shocked face, trying to figure out the meaning behind her phrase. “But with love. In a cute way!” She clarified after noticing your exaggerated reaction.

“I was afraid I was seeing things,” you frowned, looking at her through the mirror in front of you.

“Girl, definitely not,” she smirked. “If he shows up tomorrow again, please, for the sake of everything, get his number,” she demanded seriously and pointed to you with the bottle of the cream she held. 

“Oh, of course I will,” you said with a layer of sarcasm, not holding back your grin. “I’ll jump off of the stage mid-performance, hand him a paper and ask for his number.”

Yunjin giggled, nudging you with wiggly eyebrows. “Maybe that’s the grand finale we all need.”

You chuckled at her response, however, your thoughts drifted back to the said burgundy-haired guy, the memory of his intense, pierce, yet lovingly eyes glued on you sending a small heat to your cheeks as you finished your skin care.

When you woke up the next morning, your stage manager demanded the presence of everyone in the theater way earlier than you expected for some practice time. 

As the night approached, you found yourself now behind the big, red curtains with the buzz from the audience serving as a background. You stood in a corner of the backstage area, counting down from ten to one as a mental exercise to calm yourself. 

The anxiety you felt wasn’t the usual thrilling excitement before entering the stage, the longing to shine as the main act from the night. No, this time it was mixed with something else. 

There was a big chance the nameless guy would be in the audience once more, eyes glued on you like a magnet, attracting yours instinctively, in a way you didn’t found too pleasant still; a tall, strong barrier inside your chest making it difficult to ease things while working.

The familiar voice from Jay broke you out of your thoughts, interrupting your now inhale-exhale exercise.

“So, I’ve heard you’re changing your performance for today.” He said, voice laced with playfulness and curiosity.

You turned to face him, blinking in surprise. “What?”

“Get the number of the ‘burgundy-haired guy’?” His eyes sparkled with a mix of tease and amusement. “Or whatever Yunjin named him. Who uses burgundy as an everyday word?”

You shut your eyes close, finally understanding his words. “Ah.” You chuckled softly. “Yeah, the burgundy-haired guy.”

Jay laughed, warm and reassuring, placing both his hands on your shoulders so you wouldn’t avoid his gaze as you opened your eyes. “Invite him backstage today.”

Once again, you offered him a confused look, but now with a strong lack of confidence among it. His quick senses noticed your doubtful expression and added with a soft voice. “Y/N, you’re a human. You’re allowed to feel your feelings. Even if it’s about someone from the audience.”

You kept looking at Jay’s gentle eyes, not even a hint of judgment behind them. “Ok,” you said in response, nodding slowly before a smile tempted to curve into your lips. “Better option than jumping on him mid-performance to ask for his number.”

Heeseung had finished watching you for the third time, doing the exact same things, singing the exact same songs, saying the exact same lines, with the exact same props and cast.

Still he experienced shivers down his spine once you sang “Once Upon a December”, a song that quickly crawled his ranking of your performances, topping all of the others. Not only that, you also seemed way confident today. 

Heeseung, on the other hand, was getting flustered.

You didn’t care much about being obvious with your glances at him that night, sustaining eye contact longer than he expected. Heeseung felt that you were performing for him only, just like he watched you as if you were the only person on the stage. 

You both shared an unspeakable connection in between the play – you, keeping as professional as possible; while Heeseung tried not to run away from your sharp, intriguing gaze.

Despite your initial nervousness, especially without knowing if the mysterious guy would appear again, feeding your anticipation inside your chest as you entered the stage, it took less than minutes for your eyes to find him, sitting on the side, giving you a small, shy smile. 

You made no effort to contain your heartbeats increasing each time your eyes met, allowing your body to feel the wave of euphoria running through it, regardless of your hesitant thoughts about being unprofessional.

Whenever your character demonstrated happy emotions, with your lips curving into a smile, you searched for him as though you were smiling at him. Same thing when you sang some specific lines, searching from his sweet orbs following your figure already. Although the concept of the musical wasn’t necessarily romantic nor suggestive, there were some gaps you could use to your advantage, and you did. 

By the end of your last performance in Seoul, you smiled brightly and big at the crowd, thanking them alongside your crewmates, bowing and waving goodbye; the known sense of accomplishment flowing into your veins, now blended with the excitement for your next move.

As you walked your way out of the stage, before the big curtains fully closed, lights already dim in the stage but bright on the seats side, you searched once more for the man who had charmed you. He was also making his way out of the theater, your heart pounding in despair as if you were about to lose him.

But like you attracted him through your intense staring, he looked back directly at you. Boldly, you offered a shy smile, biting your lips hesitantly before grabbing your manager's arm and sneakily pointing out to who you wanted to meet backstage.

Heeseung’s heart raced as he watched the ongoing scene, mind unable to wrap a full comprehension about why you and some stranger were staring at him, even scanning his surroundings to make sure he wasn’t seeing things – like maybe you were looking out for some other person. Then he noticed you pointing and the other strange nodding, as if they finally understood your intentions, almost mouthering an “oh”.

Heeseung tilted his head, swallowing hard as a slight frown formed when he saw you vanishing behind the closed curtains, leaving him to deal with his puzzled brain alone. He blinked a few times, then shrugged to himself, putting his hands in his jacket’s pocket, even shaking his head trying to recompose.

As he took the exit direction with the rest of the people, a security guard suddenly stopped him by grabbing his shoulder, saying in a low tone. "Sir, you’ve been requested backstage."

Heeseung was unsure if he heard correctly.

"Backstage? Me?" He stammered, mouth slightly open and bambi eyes full of confusion. Did he do something wrong?

The guard nodded and motioned to him. “Follow me, please.” 

Heeseung legs felt like jelly following the random guard into the said backstage, a blurred motion of his surroundings as the crew passed by, some removing the props off the stage, many others wandering around, and then he recognized the actors from the musical talking in between themselves, loud laughters echoing through the small area, some with their stage clothes on.

Then he saw you.

Still wearing parts of your outfit, smiling radiantly while chatting with someone he made no effort to identify – his body perked up with the sight of you, his whole being drawn like a magnet. 

He barely noticed the guard was long gone by now, leaving him standing awkwardly with mingled feelings he couldn't figure out yet. Bewilderment was a euphemism to describe it. 

You seemed even prettier now than under the spotlight, shining on the stage. You seemed natural, although you still had makeup and pieces of your exaggerated royal costume on. 

As you sensed the intensity of his stare, you turned, eyes locking immediately with Heeseung’s. The spark he would often feel when watching you perform ignited again, hands trembling, heart painfully resonating loud on his ears as the whole world seemed to fade out when you started to walk into his direction. 

He was so in awe he didn’t notice you were hesitant, your movements appearing to be slowed down in his vision.

“Hi.” You said softly as you reached closer, biting your lower lip to suppress your excited smile, afraid of scaring the guy off.

Your gaze wandered his face, taking in his gorgeous features; adorable bambi eyes showing you an entire night sky full of stars, cheeks with a faint blush, cherry lips slightly parted. Unnecessarily attractive. 

If you paid close attention, you would perceive how his ears also were painted in a light shade of red.

“Hi.” He breathed out in an astonished way, a sweet voice that made your stomach do a flip.

“I’m sorry for bringing you here so suddenly.” You started, and although you felt a small heat in your cheeks, you didn’t broke eye contact. “I– Honestly, I was afraid of losing sight of you,” you grinned shyly. “I’ve noticed you in the audience for the past two days and today as well.” You explained, after receiving nothing in response. “I wondered what got you so invested,” and then you chuckled, forcely agreeing that your choice of words was enough to clarify – for sure it wasn’t, but you decided to deal with whatever consequences later. 

Heeseung blinked with the new piece of information that entered his brain, perplexed by how sincere you worded it. 

“You noticed me?” He could feel his heart faltering some beats and then fastening again, totally desynchronized. Gladly he could figure out something to say, since his throat felt like closing. 

“Yeah, quite hard not to when you look at me so intensely with your beauti– with your eyes,” you tried to sound chill and playful to ease things, making it less awkward. However, the way you spoke seemed a bit too flirty, not to mention you almost let a compliment slip out of your mouth, and he blushed harder, chuckling. 

“I didn’t mean to stare. I mean, you’re an actress of course you’re used to that, but I recognize I might have crossed the line,” he was strong in maintaining his eyes on you, but the way you were looking through your eyelashes, blinking slowly, so prettily right in front of him, broke down his confidence – in a good, amazing way. Everything feeling like a fever dream.

You giggled, loving how you were affecting him, just as much as he was messing you. Before you could say anything, he added with a small shrug.

“I just got captivated by you.” And he went back into locking his eyes with yours.

Now it was your time to get a bit flustered, still, you held it together just before reuniting all the forces you found internally to say your next words.

“You’ve crossed no lines,” you smiled. “And I’ve got captivated by you.”

You watched how his Addam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, the tension on his body loosening slightly, his timid smile spreading gradually wider as though your words unlocked something different deep within him. Somehow, you got even curious about what he could show you.

“May I ask your name?”

“Heeseung. Lee Heeseung,” he responded, offering you his hand. Your eyes followed the movement as you gave him a sheepish grin, grabbing his warm palm, the touch lingering enough to make your breath hitch.

“I’m Y/N,” you replied playfully, making him laugh, holding hands still.

His eyes turned into small crescents as he did so, his soft chuckle resonating beautifully in your ears. For some random reason, your heart started to beat faster, an interesting feeling spreading all over your chest, making you sigh.

“You were incredible up there,” Heeseung said after you both let each other’s hands go, blocking the awkwardness from establishing in between you two. 

“Yeah?” You raised an eyebrow and your lips curved into a smirk, knowing very much you did amazing, but a compliment from a gorgeous man like that easily ruined your confidence and contradictory, at the same time, it flattered your ego. “Thank you.” You said, right before analyzing you and Heeseung were standing in the middle of nowhere inside the backstage of the theater, so you gently grabbed his arm and dragged him with you to a corner.

Heeseung just followed you, in trance with your beauty, with your presence, with you. He also observed that your normal voice sounded quite different from when you were on stage. Endearing, if he dared to say.

As you reached a quieter corner, you let go from his arm and leaned into the wall, curiosity filling your eyes as you bit your lower lip.

“Sorry about that,” you said with a small, awkward chuckle. “Didn’t want us to block the path,” you nodded to where you were before.

“No problem,” Heeseung replied, still processing the sudden pull, the phantom of your warm touch still tingling on his skin. 

“So, besides me,” you said, crossing your arms in front of you, a hint of playfulness glinting in your eyes. “What did you think of ‘Anastasia’?”

Heeseung let out a chuckle, his tongue briefly sweeping over his lips as he took a moment to answer. 

“I loved every bit of it,” his voice dropped slightly and his gaze deepened. Although the known tenderness seemed to be mingled with it, there were more layers on it. “But I have to admit. You were my main focus.”

You giggled again. Second time in just a few minutes together. Heeseung actually felt like going to heaven and back to earth with the sound of your giggles, having to physically stop himself from his hands touching you, caressing your adorable blushed cheeks or landing on your hips.

“You flatter me,” you said sheepishly, uncrossing your arms. “But I’m sure I wasn’t that distracting, Heeseung.”

His name sounded so much more beautiful in your voice – the way you said it was magnetic, with a hint of sensuality and teasing, making his heart skip several beats.

“You definitely were, Y/N.” He opted to play in your game, taking a step closer, recognizing the change of the atmosphere between you two. 

You also were aware of the shift in the air, allowing your flirty, shameless part to shine brighter during the conversation. “I think I owe you a proper thank you for being such an attentive audience member.” 

Heeseung’s smile slowly faded out, his eyes softening and growing more intense, half-lidded with anticipation as you reached to hold his hand. 

“How do you plan on doing that?” He asked, husky voice tickling your stomach, his fingers sweetly playing with yours.

You gave his hand a gentle squeeze, your nervousness evident as you replied, “Would you mind waiting for me to change? It’ll take about an hour...” 

“Absolutely not,” he eagerly replied, eyes lightening up with expectation. Then he lifted your hand until his lips touched it and placed a tender kiss, as an unspoken promise he would wait for you. “I’ll be right here. Take your time.”

The soft press of his lips on your skin sent a shiver down your spine, the warmth spreading directly into your heart making your pulse race. 

Unwillingly, you released his brief, yet electrifying touch, offering a flustered grin and a reassuring nod while the anticipation grew within you. As you turned towards the changing room, you could feel the weight of his gaze lingering on your back, never once losing sight of you.

Yunjin met you there, more excited than you by your supposed date, to which you shut down right away saying it wasn’t a date. Despite your complaints, she kept her usual cheerful energy, helping you to undo your hairstyle as you removed your makeup, just to apply something more natural and less theatrical. You took a quick shower, as the heavy stage clothes and intense movements during the performance had left you feeling sweaty and disheveled.

Despite rushing your time, the fear that Heeseung might already be long gone was rapidly sinking in, so you hurried your steps out of the changing room when you finished your things, walking back to where you left him.

You let out a relieved sigh as you saw his figure happily talking with one of your friends, now with his back facing you.

“Oh, so you already met Jay.” You greeted them with a smile.

Heeseung averted his attention to your approach, your fresh sprayed perfume infiltrating his airways. He took his time to check you out shamelessly with his pretty bambi eyes filled with a perfect mixture of adoration and something darker.

“Yeah, he did.” Jay nodded with a smile, before leaning closer to whisper in your ear. “He seems pretty great, Y/N. Amazing choice,” and he wiggled his eyebrows playfully, walking away after saying a quick goodbye.

You felt your cheeks heating up with your friend's words, a faint blush decorating the area, to which Heeseung noticed right away. 

“You look beautiful.” He said softly, loving how casual you wore yourself; loose black shirt, baggy jeans and black converse.

Your natural look would always be his favorite – he wouldn’t admit that easy, but he stalked your instagram like crazy during the first days, so he was aware of a few things about your visual. However, no one prepared his heart to face it so closely, your beauty glowing even stronger now. 

“Thank you.”

He got startled when you kindly took his hand with yours, pulse racing with the sudden intimate touch. Nonetheless, he was loving every second of it, fearlessly lacing your fingers, paying close attention to your reaction. As he expected, you smiled sheepishly. 

“Would it be disappointing that my suggestion is a private bar near here, so we can drink and talk?” You hesitantly asked as you started to head towards the exit.

“Of course not.” Heeseung shot you with one of his sweet, reassuring glances. “I would go anywhere with you.”

You chuckled, unconsciously squeezing his hand as you tried to run from his flirty eyes. “You shouldn’t say things you can’t carry out.” You said, teasingly.

You both reached out of the theater using the back exit, avoiding the public so you could have some privacy. Being famous had its perks, but also a lot of downs, the lack of privacy being one of them. Nonetheless, you loved each individual part of it; since the beginning of your career you built a good community. In your relationship with your fans, you constantly reinforced yours and theirs boundaries. 

“You think I can’t?” He quirked an eyebrow, a sly smirk taking place on his cherry lips. You couldn’t help but focus on how Heeseung appeared even more handsome under the city’s nightlights, sharp lines being evidenced while the fresh breeze messed up his burgundy hair. “Should I prove you wrong, then?”

You got a bit taken aback with his sudden confidence, yet, you loved to see this new side of him blooming with you, allowing yourself to indulge in the game as much as you were enjoying the player.

“Well,” you began to talk. “You have three days before I head to the next city.” 

Although Heeseung’s chest tightened with your unexpected reality shock, reminding him that you were a busy woman, and traveling a lot was a enormous part of your work, he decided to enjoy your presence as much as you let him to, instead of overthinking about your soon departure.

Heeseung waited for you for months, he would wait for more if he needed to. 

His smile softened, still, his eyes sparkled by your subtle challenge. “Three days, huh? I’ll have to make them unforgettable then.”

You laughed, his words sending a pleasantly thrill in your core, excited with his promise. 

“Isn’t that too much pressure?” You raised an eyebrow.

“I like a challenge,” Heeseung shot back, playful voice laced with something deeper, almost daring. 

You giggled at his response, only now noticing he hadn’t let go of your hand since the beginning. Initially, you were apprehensive about the intimate touch, but Heeseung’s presence stirred a surprising sense of ease within you. His effortless way of breaking through your barriers made you feel comfortable enough to be yourself, dissolving your reservations with a natural grace.

You wondered if it was because he seemed genuine with his actions, since the very first night offering you such sweet glances and admiration eyes.

During your walk, you could see through his kind actions how respectful and caring he was, switching places with you so he was the one on the road side of the sidewalk, letting you walk in front of him whenever the space was narrowed by the flush of people, and mostly just by letting you to talk without interruptions.

Despite Heeseung’s ability of lowering your defenses, you still had some difficult thoughts about allowing it too much. A strong part of you were afraid of giving other people’s free access to your private life. You wished Heeseung could prove to you he was worth it. 

You reached the bar quicker than you expected, your relaxed chat filling up the walk as you discovered some of Heeseung’s personal traits and that he worked in the entertainment industry, being the one behind the scenes in the marketing area for some brands. Also you find out that his favorite hobby was to play on his computer during his free time and watch random youtube videos.

Since you knew the place, you chose a recluse seat near the corners, where no one could see you both having your intimate time together.

“I have to be honest,” Heeseung said after he sat down, facing you. “I’ve been in Seoul for God’s know how long, and I have never seen this bar.”

You laughed, grabbing the menu, your hungriness screaming in your stomach. 

“I love it here.” You smiled. “It’s very private and not many people are allowed to enter. Actually, if I’m not mistaken, it’s kind of an artist type of place? Like famous people and, I don’t know, CEOs come here.” You explained, Heeseung nodding to your words.

Heeseung was so thrilled with the whole experience of getting to know you better. He had always envisioned you as an idol-like figure. Your unreachable, distant persona, unallowing his mind to go further than watching you on stage. 

Ironically enough, the natural side you showed so far warmed his heart even more. Your bold humor, your confident actions, how your eyes lit up when you talked about your job and interests – everything working perfectly to make it harder not to fall for you.

Seeing you out of the actress aura, in a more relaxed and genuine setting, only deepened his fascination. The charm you once threw at him increased gradually as he felt his heart fluttering with your laughter and easy talk. 

You both got along like it was meant to be.

“I actually became interested in musicals because of you,” he admitted after some chatting, sipping the non-alcoholic drink he ordered.

“How come?” You asked, interested in the story, biting your pajeon.

One thing you loved about your job was to hear people’s stories of how they got interested in musicals. You’ve heard many, some because of their parents, some due to curiosity, others because of seeing it online. 

However, Heeseung’s one was a bit… Different from what you expected. 

“Oh,” Heeseung expressed with a shy smile, lowering his eyes to his glass, playing with the border of it. You cocked your head to the side, wondering why he went silent after your question. “I kinda…” He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing, the movement neatly noticed by you. “Fell for your aura, y’know?” He tried his best not to say he fell for you. “Your voice is amazing. And you looked so confident.”

You blinked slowly with a bright smile, loving to see his flustered self gathering all the resources in his body trying not to be so obvious, although his eyes never lied to you. Heeseung’s words and the way his body was reacting unlocked something bold inside your chest. 

You were about to speak, thanking him for his appreciation or whatever your mind could come up with, but he continued. 

“The first time I watched a musical was when you did Tangled,” Heeseung was doing his best not to look at your eyes, afraid of losing his inner battle and saying what he wasn’t planning to. “I was accompanying a friend that loves you.”

“Oh,” You said excitedly, a smirk on your lips. You raised your glass and clinked it with his. “Cheers to your friend then.” You laughed at his confused reaction, now finally looking at you with his blushed cheeks, unnecessarily adorable. “Thanks to him, we met. Isn’t that right?” 

A darker shade of red painted his cheeks as he smiled bashfully.

“I think we can say that, yeah.” He nodded, taking a good sip of his drink, bambi eyes following your movements. 

You leaned in slightly, eyes twinkling with what Heeseung read as mischief, making his heart falter some beats.

“So you’re saying you’re a fan of mine now?” You teased, biting your lip shamelessly as your eyes drifted to Heeseung’s cherry ones. The alcohol in your veins facilitating not only your words to come out, but your actions to be bolder. 

Heeseung got initially stunned by your not so subtle flirting, pulse increasing fast. Then he decided to get on your game, purposely wetting his lips just to watch your gaze tracking motion of it. 

“Definitely a fan of yours, Y/N.” He smirked, also leaning in, your faces close enough for your breaths to slightly mingle. 

“And you’re devoted too. Attentively paying attention to me…” You purred, tilting your head to the side as your eyes softened, totally switching the atmosphere between you too once more. 

Something about the way Heeseung was attractive, had a good talk and seemed to be loving spending that small time with you, was stirring with you, to the point of you moving uncomfortable on your chair because the way he seemed to be so kissable right now was driving you insane.

Heeseung had his lips slightly agape and glistening due to his recent sip, hooded eyes analyzing your expression with adoration and wanting, as if he wasn’t afraid of showing off his feelings anymore. You appeared to be more interested in what he could offer than he was captivated by you, allowing Heeseung to gradually become confident.

His gaze lingered on your lips, the corners of his mouth twitching into a sly smirk. 

“My car is parked in the theater parking lot.” He murmured, looking around before standing up just to sit on your side – you didn’t knew if it was purposeful, but the way he positioned himself  covered your figure, so no one would recognize you. “Can I take you somewhere more private?” He took the chance to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.

You were flabbergasted by his sudden caring gesture, albeit intrigued by the boldness in his eyes. A small breath escaped your lips as your heart started to beat fast. 

“Somewhere more private?” You echoed, voice barely above a whisper. 

Heeseung nodded, now gently brushing his thumb on your cheek, heating the area.

“Only if you want to.” He added, his voice dropping down a tone, eyes locked into yours.

Your whole body got electrified by the amazing sensations Heeseung was making you go through. 

“Take the lead, pretty boy.” You voiced out as you moved your head just enough to plant a small, tender kiss on his palm. 

Your words were all it took for Heeseung to ask for the check, and didn't let you pay for your food and drink when he did so, despite your objections. You rolled your eyes, though your heart fluttered at the way he took charge so effortlessly, as if the thought of you paying for that night never crossed his mind. 

“I don’t think it’s safe for you to be around the theater still. Is it ok for me to go get my car and then I pick you up here?” As if he hadn’t been a gentleman enough throughout the night, he questioned before you could stand up, taking your privacy into consideration for his decisions. 

“Sounds great.” You answered, forcing your body not to overreact and your voice to sound as normal as you could. “But how do I know you won’t leave me hanging?” You questioned cheekily, though there was a hint of insecurity in your voice. After all, Heeseung could be the most captivating man in the world, but you had only known him for a few hours.

“You have to trust me,” he said, throwing you a quick cocky wink paired with a smirk as he made his way out of the bar, longing his gaze on you before disappearing from the main door.

Heeseung had no idea how those simple words and gestures affected you. Crossing your legs did little to calm the rush of feelings surging through your core. 

You sighed, grabbing your phone to message Yunjin about the change of plans. She was way more excited than you, making you laugh as you typed you probably wouldn’t sleep at the hotel with her that night. 

Anyway, you were also making sure someone in your circle of friends knew your whereabouts. Again, being famous had its downs, and dealing with creepy people was on the list as well. 

You waited sitting for a few minutes before going outside, since you didn’t wanted Heeseung to make the effort of turning off his car to announce he was waiting for you. Gladly, there were a small number of people outside, and you stood near to the security guard just in case. 

You spotted a black car pulling up in front of where you were standing after a while, the window rolling down revealing Heeseung on the driver’s seat with a small smile. 

“Hey,” your lips curved into a relieved smile and you opened the door to enter the car. 

Heeseung felt bad for being unable to do that for you since he had stopped in a traffic place where he couldn’t stop for too long. Instantly you sent your live location to Yunjin, just to be safe.

“I know I was the one who brought up finding a more private place,” he started, a bit uncertain. “But do you have any place in mind?” 

His question made you think for a while. Your hotel was out of question, since Yunjin was sleeping there too. 

“I don’t wanna take you to my place right away.” He added quickly. “Don’t get me wrong. I just don’t feel you would be as comfortable there…” He trailed off, glancing at you for a millisecond. 

“Because you know your place better than me.” You completed, quirking an eyebrow at him with a smirk tugging the corner of your lips. 

“Exactly.”

“Are you a stalker or just a perfect gentleman?” You asked with curiosity and playfulness. 

Heeseung let out a hearty, loud laugh, filling up the inside of his car as he ignored how his stomach did a flip about being a perfect gentleman in your eyes. 

“Neither, I hope.” He chuckled, looking at you warmly when he stopped in one red light. 

You smiled, enjoying how at ease you became around him, the blended seductive and playful atmosphere around you two building up the ideal scenery for you to fall for Heeseung. 

On the other hand, Heeseung wasn’t different. Slightly afraid of scaring you or making you uncomfortable, but still, loving the way you expressed yourself so vividly, making him laugh every second. 

“So… We’re going…?” He sweetly asked after your silence, waiting for your suggestion.

What Heeseung didn’t expect was to see your whole face lit up with seductive playfulness, the anticipation building up before you spoke, your velvety, low voice sending signals straight to his core, as your eyes drenched him in lust.

“Anywhere we can have a bed, Heeseung.”

Heeseung didn’t let you pay for the chosen hotel room as well, to which your body reacted instantly as the heat increased, your desire dripping out your eyes as you devoured him shamelessly. 

His impeccable manners were almost too good to be true, being such a gentleman during the night, leading the way, but only after your consent, after asking you, after you taking the decisions. He listened to your wants and found a solution easily, a characteristic you found extremely attractive. 

It was incredibly refreshing to find a man like him, so devoted to making you feel like a queen, allowing you to simply relax and enjoy yourself without you having to ask for it.

Now, however, you needed him to solve another problem, the one in which your arousal had left your panties dampened and you restless.

Seeing his charismatic interaction with the worker as nonchalantly doing the check-in, the smile after thanking them, the skilful hands grabbing his wallet, his eyes switching from tenderness to raw desire when landing them on you. Heeseung was clearly struggling to contain his eagerness to take you to an intimate setting as soon as possible. His restraintment was driving you wild, intensifying your anticipation.

How were you being so affected by that? Also, you weren’t one to hook up on your first meeting – not even calling it a date, since it was a rushed last minute type of situation. 

Then you remembered. Heeseung had built up the perfect atmosphere for you both since the very first day you saw him.

His beaming expression, eyes glued on you, showing genuine enchantment by your performance and now, you understood, by your beauty as well. You felt more than flattered to charm someone so hot and attentive as him. 

His easy going personality and the way he acted like a true man, demonstrating to genuinely care about you, made a perfect blend of your ideal type – you didn’t even knew you had one until now.

As soon as you entered the elevator, it took one simple glance from Heeseung for you to attach your lips on his, shivering at the sweet taste of his mouth as your hands searched for support on his shoulders. 

He got taken aback by your sudden decision, but didn’t hesitate to reciprocate your touch, eager for more since day one. Oh, he was in heaven by the way you were falling apart right in front of his eyes, because he, himself, was drowning in your presence since the beginning. 

His mannerism around you was flawless, how he positioned his hands respectfully on your waist instead of lower, making you smirk in between the rushed kiss, totally contradictory to how his tongue passionately searched for yours to deepen the touch.

There were no words being spoken at that moment, but so much was being vocalized through his hitched breath and your soft moans, the ones that made Heeseung’s dick twitch in his pants. 

“Fuck,” he groaned and threw his head back when you deattached your mouth just to kiss other parts of his exposed skin.

In no moment you wondered if it was a set up, because if so, Heeseung was a better actor than you. There was no way he was faking his reactions while your lips sucked the flesh of his neck vigorously, as if your life depended on it, not even caring about marking the area as you did so. 

Both of you shared the same thinking: the door needs to open soon, otherwise the elevator cameras would be filming something very intimate. 

Heeseung went back to kissing you, already addicted to your taste, sucking your tongue and lip fervently just to hear your sounds once again. You scratched his nape with your fingernails when you finally heard the sound of the door opening, both of you giggling in between the kiss since none of you decided to move away, stumbling your steps until you reached the room door. 

Heeseung positioned your back against the wall just to skilfully unlock the entrance, pushing you against the door to open and closing it back with his feet.

You took no time to appreciate the beauty of the room, eagerly waiting for the moment the back of your knee would hit the bed and you would finally have Heeseung hovering you the way you wished the most.

You removed Heeseung’s jacket and tossed it at some random place on the floor before he maneuvered your body when you reached the soft mattress, so you could lay comfortably – his strong grip on your thigh and hip sending jolts of excitement to your core as you gasped for air, but never once completely breaking the contact of his sultry, hot mouth against yours.

He wasted no second to position himself over you, the weight of his body pressing yours in an electrifying way, his lips only backing away to place rough kisses on your neck, nibbling your ear lobe as his fingers infiltrated your shirt to touch the bare skin of your stomach.

Your body reacted instantly with the amount of stimulus, arching into him, yearning more and more of his heated hands and mouth working wonders on you. Instinctively, your fingers tugged his beautiful strands of hair while pulling him down, closer, inciting Heeseung to continue his assault on your sensitive flesh. 

However, as your impatience grew, so did your desire.

“Heeseung…” You breathed out, panties already ruined by how wet you were.

“Hm?” He murmured, trailing kisses until he reached your mouth again, his hands still heating the area of your waist as he caressed it painfully slowly, giving you a rush of chills.

You kissed him back, then pushed him away by pulling his hair, searching for his now darkened eyes, filled with lust and a small hint of the usual tenderness towards you. You watched how his gaze switched between your lips, your eyes and other areas of your face, as if he was memorizing every feature of yours to keep them as a personal picture. 

“Don’t keep me waiting,” you whispered with your voice rich with desire, your heavy breaths mingling with Heeseung’s in an intimate way you didn’t expect to feel with him so easily.

He chuckled at himself, blinking slowly as he bit his lower lip, hooded eyelids demonstrating how far gone for you he already was, lost in his pleasure. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered back, planting a sweet kiss on each of your cheeks. “You just feel too good.”

And he wasn’t lying. 

The way your body reacted to all of his touches so far was driving him instantly to hell and back to earth, his own skin tingling with a hunger he never felt before just by hearing your small, beautiful sounds. Heeseung wished to stop time and have you like that for the rest of his life, even if it sounded exaggerated and premature. He developed feelings for you long enough to have his mind working in that way, yearning for every bit of you, with his sharp gaze catching all of your reactions as he always did.

“I want to enjoy every second I have with you.” Heeseung admitted genuinely. You noticed the top of his ears turning into a cute shade of red. 

“You can do that,” you reassured, downing your hands from his hair to his shoulders and then to his strong arms, almost moaning after feeling them tensing under your touch. “But please,” you pleaded firmly with a low voice, squeezing his biceps. “Don’t make me wait anymore.”

With a small nod, a sly grin and a brief peck on your lips, Heeseung sat on his knees, the hands once under your shirt just brushing slightly the area, glided slowly over your skin as he moved to undress the fabric off of your body. 

He searched for your gaze before moving forward. “Are you sure about that?” He had stopped himself mid-action for your consentment, and you couldn’t help but smile, finding adorable his respectfulness with you, despite the obvious shared intense, almost tangible, desire.

“Totally.” 

After your word he finally removed your shirt, leaving your upper body covered only with your bra.

You shivered under his lascivious gaze, devouring you shamelessly with a satisfied smirk. He looked drunk as he approached again, brushing his lips on your collarbone and then near your breasts, playing with it over the clothing piece teasingly, looking up at you with his big bambi eyes showing a faux innocence. 

The fresh contact of his mouth and tongue against new parts of your body made you arch your back again, closing your eyes to enjoy the sensation. You felt his hands working its way to free your boobs and when he finally did, you moaned in relief.

“Fuck,” he groaned with a small, attractive frown, as if he was mad with your beauty. “You look perfect.”

You fluttered your eyes open, catching a sight of how dedicated Heeseung was sucking your hardened nipple while his hand massaged the other, eventually switching sides to give both equal treatment, and you also caught him already looking at you, savoring each of your reactions.

Little did you know that while tasting you, he was also engraving into his memory those raw, genuine expressions, so different from the ones he had seen when you were on stage, acting. 

You managed to reach for the hem of his beige shirt, teasing to slide them off. He noticed right away your attempt and quickly helped you by sitting on his knees and undressing himself, revealing to your hungry eyes his slightly tanned torso, his muscles tensing as he moved to toss the clothing piece to the ground. 

Heeseung got shy under your thirsty gaze, but how could you look at him any other way? His body seemed flawless under the room’s dim light, broad shoulders, biceps and chest with just the right amount of muscles. Not to mention the silver chain necklace adorning his neck, which you found particularly attractive, and his gorgeously messy hair.

“You’re so fucking hot, Heeseung.” You murmured with sincerity, your fingers trailing over his arms, feeling the firm texture beneath your touch. 

The room appeared to shrink, the air getting thicker as your respiration accelerated with the view. The anticipation to feel all those parts pressing flush against yours grew, a thrill of excitement running throughout your body straight to your cunt. 

Heeseung acted out of instinct after your praise, as if upon realizing your desire mirrored his own, the carefulness, the gentleness he was cherishing to give you during the night instantly vanished just to be replaced by the raw yearning of being inside you. 

Of course he would still listen to your demands, there was a vivid part of him willing to give you the affection you deserved. However, by the way you cheekily smiled and how your gaze sharpened after him yanking his own jeans and then yours, he knew how you wanted it to happen.

Heeseung brushed his painfully hardened dick on your thigh as he reached for your mouth, kissing you fervently while one of his hands explored your clothed pussy. He moaned against your lips when you purposely slightly moved your leg to grace his cock with a bit more of friction, as a way of thanking him for rubbing your pulsing clit over your panties.

It was a shared intimate touch covering the visceral need of fucking you for good, his inner battle going on about how to treat you, since your non-verbal answer – lustful eyes and smile – didn’t meant much to him to be certain within his decision.

“Heeseung,” you moaned, grinding against the skilful fingers making circles on your clit, the fabric preventing you from feeling them directly on your pussy, making you annoyed. “I want you, stop teasing me.” You demanded, and instantly Heeseung moved his head to the curve of your neck, gently kissing it while pushing your panties to the side to start fingering you.

He collected a bit of your arousal on your slick folds, literally moaning just by the feeling of his digits sliding with ease on your pussy, pressing your entrance with one and then two, loving to hear your beautiful whimpers.

Heeseung supported himself with one arm just to watch your pleasant frown, your mouth slightly agape, your breath hitching, eyes fluttered shut.

“You look so fucking beautiful right now,” he admitted in a low, husky tone, sending shivers to your spine. 

You opened your eyes, a sly smile adorning your lips as you said. “Imagine how beautiful I’ll be with your cock instead of your finger, then.”

Heeseung’s dick twitched against your thigh with your words. You observed his eyes darkening even more, taking in the challenge as his life depended on it, barely giving you time to process him removing all the clothing pieces from both of you, offering the gorgeous view of his reddened and extremely hard shaft, tip dripping precum. 

Your mouth watered, but you ignored your sudden urge of sucking him, since your biggest want was to have that dick inside of you as soon as possible. 

You tracked his movements with your eyes, a low groan escaping from your throat as you watched Heeseung put on the condom and pump his length a few times. The vein of his arm popped due to the motion, making you wonder how hot he would look desperately touching himself, a thought you opted to keep to yourself for now.

“I hope you don’t hold back.” You provoked, quivering beneath his heated body as he positioned himself to enter you, supporting himself with one arm as your hands found its comfort on his shoulders. 

Heeseung looked at you with a raised eyebrow and a cocky smirk.

“I wasn’t planning to.”

His words only fueled the fire between you, and with a slow, deliberate motion, he aligned himself perfectly, his gaze never leaving yours. 

“You’ve set the pace,” he murmured, low voice dripping with desire. “Let’s see if you can keep up.”

You rolled your eyes and smiled as a response to his dirty and teasing words, a soft moan escaping your lips as he started to fill you up so perfectly. But Heeseung gave you no time to savor it properly, beginning to thrust deep and hard, yet agonizingly slow, as if he was messing with you right after your explicit request. The playful glint in his eyes made it clear how delighted he was by setting the rhythm, toying your pussy just how he wanted, enjoying a bit too much the show of the changes in your facial expressions.

“You feel so fucking good,” Heeseung sighed with a pleasant frown. 

Your walls clenching around his sensitive dick was driving him insane, the euphoria to fuck you harder and faster rising in his chest, albeit he did his best to control it because he had two goals that night. First, to experience you in every possible way, and second, to make sure you never forgot just how incredible he could be at it.

You wanted to curse Heeseung’s pace, but it would be a lie to say you weren’t enjoying every second of his slowness, how it allowed you to feel each inch of his cock deliciously sliding inside you, delaying your run towards your relief.

Heeseung attached his lips on yours while keeping the deliberated grind, a passionate kiss mingled with your soft moans and hitched breaths.

There was something about the way he was treating your body with such devotion, taking his sweet time to taste your mouth while feeling your pussy sliding on his length, gradually learning exactly how to satisfy you.

His hands caressed your skin with affection, sensing it shivering under his contact, then he shot you a playful look, repositioning himself on his knees as he grabbed a pillow to place it under your waist, opening and slightly lifting your legs, in a way to give him easy and full access to hit you deeper.

You whimpered by the instant amazing feeling of Heeseung finding your g-spot right away, his face lighting up with the new information you just gave him without uttering a single word besides his name within moans.

“F–fuck, Heeseung–” Your broken voice and the desperation in your eyes served as the final push for Heeseung to lose control and speed his thrusts, your knuckles turning white with your strong grip on the sheets. 

You let out a sequence of whimpers, groans, moans, whatever sounds you were able to make, entirely lost in your lustful pleasure, your whole body shaking on the bed as Heeseung frantically and intensely moved his hips.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I’d make your days unforgettable,” Heeseung’s husky, confident voice triggered a new wave of ecstasy throughout you.

You winced underneath him, fully unable to say cohesive words. Your mouth fell open, eyes rolled back right before fluttering shut within a frown. The lewd slaps sounds of him pounding roughly on your pussy making you completely dizzy, his urgent rhythm driving you close to the edge.

Heeseung’s breathing was heavy and erratic, filling the room together with your loud moans as he pushed you near to the brink of release, his hands squeezing whatever part of your legs he touched, your own hips unconsciously grinding to meet his rhythm. 

The knot on your stomach tightened gradually, and Heeseung’s pace became unsteady. The small piece of your mind that still worked correctly deduced Heeseung was just as close as you to his own climax, so you tightened your walls purposely and opened your eyes just in the right time to catch a glimpse of Heeseung throwing back his head, consumed by his pleasure; his flushed neck glistening in sweat, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he moaned, the fucking chain necklace dangling.

“Hee– close–” You tried to warn, you really did. But the whole moment got you overwhelmed in the bestest way possible. You barely had strength to think, let alone talk.

Heeseung snapped out of his blurry bliss with your voice echoing in his ears. His eyes searched for you right away, instantly moaning at the view of you, perfectly messy, falling apart, just for him to see.

He leaned forward, decreasing the distance between your torsos. Without a second thought, your hands roamed over his firm, strong arms until you reached his nape, pulling him into a sloppy kiss, as though your body naturally gravitated towards him, like a magnet.

Neither of you could keep on the kiss, Heeseung’s head falling besides yours as your fingernails scratched his back, the urge of your so close orgasm making you desperate. 

“Please–” You pleaded without much thinking, legs evolving Heeseung’s waist trying to help his erratic movements. 

“Come for me, yeah?” He murmured against your ear, holding back his own release just to feel your walls clenching him while achieving your orgasm. “Come for me like a good girl.”

And you did. Screaming his name, digging your nails on his skin, waving your body as the surge of your breathtaking climax rushed over it.

You felt Heeseung’s dick throbbing right before he filled up the condom with his release together with the beautifulest moan of the night, the one where he said your name lasciviously, hoarse and intimate in your ear.

Heeseung’s exhausted body collapsed on yours, his sweaty skin clinging to you and yet you gave no care. Your focus was on catching your breath, trying to ground yourself with your sight still hazy from the intensity of your climax. 

“Holy shit,” you managed to whisper as you kept panting.

“I’m sorry,” Heeseung immediately replied, a small hint of guilt hidden in his husky voice.

“For giving me the best orgasm of my life?” You breathed out, chuckling. The post-orgasm high made you feel like jelly.

He laughed. The sound warming your chest and also helping you to calm down quickly.

“Did I hurt you?” Heeseung questioned with concern, looking at you.

You shook your head in response and he smiled. Your hooded eyes followed Heeseung’s gorgeous figure, going quickly to the bathroom to discard the condom and back to the bed, laying down next to you.

“I wasn’t planning on going that hard with you at first, but–”

“Yes, you were.” You interrupted with a playful smile. “And I’m glad you did. It was amazing, Heeseung,” the compliment slipped out of your mouth with ease as you caressed his hair and then his face.

Heeseung let out what sounded like a relieved sigh, as he pressed a peck on your cheek, then the corner of your lips before sucking your lower lip and kissing you properly. 

“It was my pleasure, Y/N.” He whispered against your mouth, kissing you again with a sweetness that seemed impossible after what just happened, but you knew it was real, because he offered you the same tenderness since day one through his eyes.

You found yourself snuggling on his chest and he hugged you warmly. There was something in Heeseung's acts that exhaled intimacy in a way it scared you, knowing deep down if he kept treating you like that, you would inevitably grow attached to his presence. 

You got lost in your thoughts for a while, torn in between the warmth of his body touching you with care and the sinking feeling of his inevitable departure. Although Heeseung seemed to be an amazing man, nothing would stop him from simply leaving, especially when there was no mention of commitment from any of you or whatsoever.

Nonetheless, Heeseung's connection with you appeared to grow stronger each second you spent together, because his first words after the long silence were “Can I get your number?”

You lifted your head from his torso, a bit flabbergasted by his sudden, unexpected question. You had to blink a few times and watch his bambi eyes show you curiosity with your reaction to know he wasn’t messing around. 

“Sure. If you promise not to leak it out.” The only answer he offered you was his pinky for a pinky promise, to which you took in with a serious face. “You can’t break it, yeah?” And he laughed.

“Cross my heart, I won’t.”

The following three days felt like something in between a k-drama and a fever dream – too perfect to feel real. 

Heeseung had work during the mornings and the afternoons, meaning he couldn’t be with you the whole day – unwillingly, of course. To which you thought it was great, since it allowed you to hang out with Yunjin and Jay, and also to concentrate on your job, rehearsing for the next performances alongside your castmates, warming up your vocals with your teacher, re-reading the lines just in case. 

However, the anticipation tightened in your stomach with every buzz of your phone with a notification, heart racing reading Heeseung’s name on the screen. 

“I wanna see you soon.” “Can’t wait for tonight.” “Missing your pretty face, ngl.”

His simple texts did no good to help your inner battle, nor his perfect mannerism for caring about your health, your voice, your sleeping, the small things that sometimes neither you cared that much.

The fear of getting attached extremely fast to someone and having your heart broken was almost suffocating, and somehow Heeseung managed to wipe your thoughts away within every encounter.

There weren’t too many after the night you spent together, but each had a distinctive situation that deepened your connection.

Monday, he picked you up at your hotel after work for a small dinner at his favorite restaurant. You found yourself thirsting over his extremely good looking figure when he showed up in a simple, yet mesmerizing black button-down shirt with the first three buttons undone revealing a hint of his tanned skin beneath, and his usual heart-melting smile.

“Ready for tonight?” He asked you with a beaming face that filled your heart with warmth and a cocky grin that later on, led you to ride his dick until your legs burned after you both reached the chosen hotel for the night. 

You were nothing but astonished with how deeply invested you got in Heeseung, longing for his presence every minute. The chemistry between you both was electric, the sexual tension almost palpable pairing in the air, blended perfectly with the easygoing atmosphere you always shared. Heeseung fulfilled your desires easily, as though he was reading his favorite book – you – knowing every line by heart. 

The second time you met was in the middle the following day, when he decided to spend his lunch hour with you, sharing a meal as you casually chatted about everything. Heeseung had a comforting way of listening to you with softened and attentive eyes, nodding along, occasionally adding his own point of view with a relaxed charm. Not to mention how smart he sounded as he talked with his soft tone and how beautiful his laughter sounded when he genuinely enjoyed a joke. 

“I didn’t know you enjoyed cooking that much,” he remarked at some point, his eyes lightening up after you shared your hobby of experimenting out new foods just to get their recipes and try doing it by yourself in your kitchen every once and a while during your free time.

You had no idea connections could be developed so quickly with someone as you did with Heeseung, how your energies and personalities complemented in a way that made every interaction feel effortless, as if words didn’t needed to be fully spoken in order to understand each other.

Later the same day, Heeseung met you at night again. He timidly admitted he hadn’t prepared much for the evening, but ended up making you the happiest woman on the earth by driving you both to a dinosaur museum exhibition after learning your fascination with them.

As you explored the exhibit, your eyes sparkled with excitement, and Heeseung couldn’t help but smile at your enthusiasm. You animatedly explained the different species ignoring completely the small text next to every skeleton – Heeseung doing the same, since listening to your voice sounded way more interesting than reading.

Your tone raised with joy as you pointed out the massive skeleton of the stegosaurus, eyes gleaming with love, your big smile making Heeseung’s heart falter some beats. 

“You look so cute,” Heeseung said, chuckling softly, his hands hidden in his jacket’s pocket while tenderly watching you bouncing on your feet.

You beamed back at him. “It’s so interesting and cool to imagine those big boys walking on earth before us. Like, we are not literally, but somehow stepping on places they once stepped too.”

Heeseung’s gaze lingered on your glowing figure and at that moment, he recognized. He fell in love with you.

Not only for the talented actress on the stage, the amazing singer with an angelic voice, the famous performer who loved her fans with her whole heart.

Heeseung fell mainly for the genuine, happy, confident and warm woman in front of him. The one who easily sent chills through his spine just for laughing at his stupid jokes. The one who made the air thicker with her strong presence, just to stumble on her own legs and chuckle at it. The one who knew what she wanted and how she wanted. The one who secretly shared she was good at painting and handicrafts. 

He could spend nights in hotel rooms hearing your moans and pants, feeling your intimate touches, kissing you mouth and any other place on your body he wanted to, but nothing compared to the fulfillment feeling spreading inside his chest when seeing you so pure, with raw emotions like that. 

That night ended up like a date. He left you at your hotel and went home after kissing you slowly and tenderly at the entrance of the building, wishing you a good night's sleep and for you to take care.

It was your last day in Seoul before heading to the next city with the musical, and the bittersweet feeling weighed heavily on your heart. You were struggling with the drowning sentiment of leaving Heeseung behind, the idea of not knowing when, or even if he wanted to keep on seeing you made the lump in your throat hard to swallow.

Your insecurities grew heavier each second before the encounter. You hoped for Heeseung to come up with the sweet sorrow and necessary conversation first, since your messy, anxious thoughts did nothing to help you go through it without assuming the worst.

“Hi, pretty.” His sudden appearance startled you, drawing your gaze from the distant random point on the street you were staring at. “Sorry,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, his hands finding their comfort place on your waist, grounding you.

A smile spreads across your face, eyes brightening up with relief.

“Hi.” You greeted back, leaning to kiss him on the lips, pouring all the affection you felt into that simple gesture. 

You wished Heeseung could sense how deep you were falling for him, quickly becoming a vital part of your daily life in such a small amount of time.

“Are you okay?” He asked with concern, placing a sweet kiss on your forehead. “You seemed a bit oblivious.”

You shook your head, not only as a response to his question but to wipe away your confused thoughts. 

“I’m better now.” You said, which wasn’t a lie.

“Great,” Heeseung whispered with a smile against your head before kissing the top of it and then held your hand to walk you to his car. “I’ve prepared something different for today.” He said with a cheekily grin, the playful glint on his gaze making you squint your eyes, suspicious. He laughed at your reaction, then you quirked an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah?” You smirked, curiosity instantly replacing your melancholic inner thoughts.

“I hope you like it.” He kissed the back of your hand before opening the car door for you to enter.

The drive was calm, Heeseung eased your mind without even noticing he did. Just the smell of his cologne and his warm touches on your thigh whenever he stopped at a red light, and the habitual chatting that got you invested with ease worked perfectly to sooth you. 

At some point Heeseung nonchalantly revealed he was applying to switch to work remotely, and you genuinely cheered since for the last few days he complained about the amount of hours he had to drive, and the home-office modality helped him to have more free time. 

His own information faded out by himself in the following conversation as he changed topics, you barely noticed his sly expression whenever he glimpsed at your yapping figure, gesturing about how annoyed you felt when you had to do group work during your college. 

“What’s that?” Your eyes sparkled with the colorful atmosphere you were approaching, your whole body perking up as you watched some stalls passing by the window as Heeseung searched for a place to park.

Heeseung chuckled, drifting his eyes between the road and you, but not answering your question.

Then the realization hits. You shot Heeseung with one of your bright smiles, that got him almost giggling just by seeing it.

“You’re insane.”

“I thought it could be a good place for you to learn some recipes.”

And just like that, you fell even harder for him.

Heeseung took you to a cozy outdoor market filled with food stalls, a few street foods trucks and local artisans. The atmosphere was lively, with music playing in the background and laughter echoing around you.

As you stepped out of the car with his help, the scents of diverse foods flooded your airways and you almost groaned with pleasure, your stomach growling with hunger as your mouth watered. 

Heeseung held your hand the whole time you wandered from stall to stall, not even knowing where to start, but sampling everything from savory snacks to sweet treats, your senses dancing with the flavors and scents, doing some random love shots with Heeseung. 

He didn’t complained a second about the constant walking. To watch you lose yourself while tasting things, making pleasant frowns and doing little dances whenever you liked something, paid back any sore he would have to deal with on the next day.

Some people recognized you, asking for a picture to which you politely declined, and Heeseung instantly gave you a confused look, since you usually made time to give them a little attention.

You searched for a free table for you both to sit, and as you stared at the three delicious small dishes in front of you not knowing which one to prove first, Heeseung spoke up.

“Isn’t that your favorite?” And then he pointed to the tteokbokki, after reading your indecisive frown, biting his own food. “Start with this one.”

You looked up at him with shock, then your gaze softened. It was Heeseung after all, the man who paid attention to every detail of you. However, your still pulse increased, your cheeks heating. 

“Can I ask you something?” His voice broke the silence after a while again, and you nodded. “Is there a reason for you to refuse to take pictures with your fans today?” 

The question sounded curious, genuine at it most, free from the weight of any judgments. Heeseung was trying to understand your decision rather than impose his opinion on it.

“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable,” you explained softly, wiping your mouth with a napkin. 

He tilted his head to the side, brows furrowing. “How does that make me uncomfortable?” 

You shrugged, taking a bite of your corn dog before answering. ���I don’t know. People who hang out with me that aren’t from my area often don't feel comfortable whenever I stop to talk to my fans.”

Heeseung raised his eyebrows, a bit taken aback by the revelation. Of course people had their rights of being uncomfortable with certain situations, however, being friends with you meant knowing your personality and how much you enjoyed those small interactions. So it sounded a bit odd to hear you say that.

“Well, I don’t mind at all.” He said with a gentle smile. “Actually, it’s sweet to see you interacting with them.” 

Your lips curved into a genuine smile at Heeseung’s reassuring words, especially because at some point he was a fan of yours, so to hear his mind on that conversation hit slightly deeper.

“Thanks, it means a lot.” You mumbled. “But if you ever feel awkwardly left out–

“No.” He shushed you with a portion of his food, shoving into your mouth with a playful laugh, making you roll your eyes and giggle.

The rest of the night went as comfortably as possible, filled with laughter and playful teasing moments. The thought of your departure on the next day haunted both of you, but you managed to brush away whenever your eyes met, the atmosphere softening again. 

After you finished eating and drinking, Heeseung guided you to a quiet, secluded spot near the market. It was a small lake in the middle of a park, where a few other couples shared intimate affection as well.

Heeseung wrapped his arms around you from behind as you held on the railing overlooking the water. He rested his chin on your shoulder, his warm and soothing embrace caused a heavy sigh to escape your lips, and tears began to sting the corner of your eyes.

“You know, it's always good to come back home.” You murmured, voice tinged with nostalgia while you admired the peaceful view. Gently resting your back on Heeseung’s chest, you added. “And it's always bittersweet when I have to leave.” Your voice got stuck in your throat, heart pounding in uncertainty for your following days. “It became so much harder to leave now, Heeseung.” You admitted with a trembling voice, the tears quietly slipping down your cheeks

You felt Heeseung’s sweet lips touching your neck to place a gentle kiss before he turned you to face him. Kind hands caressing your face, cozy eyes eveloping your words with warmth and understanding. You felt loved. And it was hurting so much.

Heeseung cleaned your tears with his thumb, pressing soft kisses to your eyelids afterward.

“We can find a way,” he whispered, his own voice failing to stay steady. “I’m too attached to you at this point.” He admitted with a shy smile. “I know I said I’d make your days unforgettable, but now I’m the one who is unable to forget you. And I don’t want to even try forgetting you.”

A wave of relief rushed your body, happy for being on the same page, glad that Heeseung listened to you, overjoyed he shared similar feelings. You sobbed, snuggling closer to his body in order to feel him more, burying your face on his neck, the scent making you cry even harder. 

Heeseung hugged you tightly, yet, gently, his arms involving you in a fond, safe bubble.

“I can visit you during my free time,” he said to reassure you.

“I’ll come to visit you too.” Your voice came out muffled due to your position, so you reluctantly pulled away from his embrace to search for his eyes. They were red, as if he was holding back his own tears. “I mean, I don’t live too far from here, the problem is my work–”

Heeseung silenced you by attaching his lips on yours, not wanting to hear your “but’s” and worries at the moment. He wanted to envision a good future for both of you, and also he was taking advantage to kiss you once more.

The shared touch was laced with an anticipated longing, slow and bittersweet, still full of affection. Your breath hitched while mingling with the soft sounds of contentment, hands exploring each other’s bodies, cherishing every inch before the inevitable departure of yours.

“I’m afraid you won’t get used to my work,” you whispered, relieving one of your biggest insecurities when Heeseung broke the contact to catch his breath.

“What do you mean?” He asked, slightly breathless, mind hazy from your kiss. God, he really wished you both managed a way to get back together, if not he would go insane without your sweet lips.

“It’s a demanding job, as you know.” You explained, playing with his ear lobe. Heeseung closed his eyes, leaning into the touch. “I’m always traveling, I’m always going to places, constantly on the move… Even visiting can be difficult.”

“I know,” he replied softly, still not exactly understanding your full point. Yes, he would miss you, but he was sure it could be managed.

Despite, from the start he knew you were a busy woman, barely having time to yourself as you told him a few times. And he was willing to adjust some things in his life if that meant having you by his side. 

Heeseung didn’t said anything more, making you wonder. Would he back off after all of that? Or that meant he was fully devoted?

“And it doesn’t bother you?” You asked. 

“No,” he replied sincerely, opening his eyes just to lock them onto yours, as he brushed a little strand of hair from your face before he cupped one of your cheeks. “It’ll not. If you promise you’ll always come back to me.”

And you would. After all, by the end of the day, all you could see was his eyes only.

Heeseung grew attached to watch you. Not only when owning the stage and captivating the audience with your talented acting skills, but in any other moment as well.

His eyes followed your every move, from the moment you frowned while waking up to the moment you fell on his arms, panting after him fucking you hard.

Yeah, you both managed ways of getting back together, with his now remote work, traveling around with you became easy. He missed his friends every once, and that led you both to constantly go back to Seoul and spend some days visiting, especially to see Jake and Sunoo, who freaked out when he discovered – through instagram! – his friends were dating one of his biggest inspirations. 

Now, in your brand new purchased shared apartment, Heeseung eyes tracked you wetting your lips while humming the melody of your upcoming musical, while doing some work on your computer. It was a routine he definitely could get used to.

And as always, you felt the sweet weight of his gaze, smiling even before searching for him.

“What?” you asked, laughing at how Heeseung positioned himself beside you on the couch; his cheek resting on his hand, elbow propped on the armrest, as he shot you a lovestruck expression – soft smile and tender eyes. 

“I love you.” 

Months ago, those words would have taken you by surprise.

You remember vividly how flustered you became, heart racing, stuttering on your own words, unable to cohesively say anything back. Heeseung joked about how an amazing actress managed to lose composure and not talk like that, and after you slapped his shoulder playfully, you kissed him passionately, mumbling what could have been a ‘I love you too’.

This time it didn’t surprise you, still, left you momentarily speechless. You would never get used to the electrifying wave washing over your body whenever you heard Heeseung declaring his love for you.

Just like you always did, you felt the heat rising to your cheeks under his intense gaze. Closing your computer, you leaned closer, settling yourself comfortably on his lap.

“I love you too, Hee,” you replied softly and sincerely.

You smiled, before kissing him.

Heeseung’s embrace was your heaven. Heeseung’s lips were your hell. And in between that, he kept his eyes on you. Always.

[folkloreintime]

beg you on my knees to stay

Taylor Swift x fem!reader smut

warnings: smut, oral(r!receiving), fingering(r!receiving), scissoring, fem!reader

word count: 1.8k

summary: Taylor teases you before she goes on stage and finishes the job after.

A/N: happy kinktober lol

There was a flurry of people around you, but they paid you no mind as makeup artists hustled to fix a patch on Taylor’s face and stylists walked around her checking every inch of her costumes. You had watched this from afar many times, Taylor having been on tour for 3 months now but it never got old. It was like seeing her in her true element, the dedication and passion the whole team exuded was truly a marvel.

You caught Taylor’s eye and she winked at you, her blonde eyebrows raised as somebody applied her classic red lipstick onto her stunning mouth. You shyly smiled back and rested your hand on your chin and studied her.

Her hair was pin straight and had a deep golden, it cascaded down her shoulders like ripples of silk. The bejeweled body suit she wore had flecks of blue and pink jewels that shimmered when they caught the light, they cinched her waist and made her figure look like that of a model, curved and voluptuous. Her thighs were adorned with a pair of waxy tights that made her legs look shiny and long. She was absolutely perfect.

During your examinations you hadn’t realised that the room had cleared out and it was now just you and Taylor, alone. “Hey,” her blue eyes were pointedly fixed on you, “What are you thinking about?” She tipped her head playfully and curled her red lips. You looked down in embarrassment that she had caught u staring at her but how could you not?

“You look great, as always. But today? you look, so gorgeous.” You swallowed as your breath hitched waiting for her to answer. To say something, anything. You would have hanged on to every word. Instead she just stayed silent, striding towards you in a slow manner.

She sat down next to you her legs crossed at her ankles and turned to you. She kissed you, her lips moved over yours in a pout and you inched impossibly closer just trying to grasp at anything she could give you. Her hand moved to your jaw, digging her thumb into it, the pressure made you open your mouth and a small breath tumbled out.

Slowly, you shifted your hands to her waist, feeling the sharp jewels under your fingertips frustrated you. You huffed and she pulled back, but only for a moment until she started to caress just below your breast. “Please, Taylor.” You moaned and threw your head back allowing her more access to your skin as she nipped and bit at your neck leaving subtle red marks dotted around the taut skin.

One of hand trailed the length of your stomach, sliding closer and closer to your center while she kept the other firmly planted on your tits, pushing and caressing it with the palm of her hand. She hummed against your skin and undid the button of your jeans. Effortlessly, Taylor slid her hand between your legs to find your wetness waiting for her. You gasped as she lazily circled your clit, the pressure was so light you could barely tolerate it but she torturously kept the pace.

You were in bliss, feeling her lips on your shoulder, peppering kisses, her hands trailing your body and the desperation of her blazing skin touching yours. She began to speed up her machinations, intermittently pressing hard on your clit, smearing the wetness around with her fingers and in return you gave her mewls and groans of pleasure which fuelled her.

Suddenly, your broken out of your pleasurable stupor and you here a muffled voice, “They are ready for you in 5, Taylor.” It was the stage manager in her earpiece. Just as quick as she had came on to you she was off of you, leaving a distinct coldness and you felt like you could collapse into a puddle of sand as she left you high and dry. You watched her through bleak eyes as she fixed her lipstick in the mirror as if she hadn’t been maliciously teasing your orgasm out of you 2 seconds ago.

She left with a wink and the scent of her perfume still lingered as well as the feel of her on you when she left the room. You felt a twinge of disappointment as you turned your back to the live monitor of the stage in the room. The show was starting and you knew it would be a long time coming before you and Taylor could finish what you started so you decided to get comfortable.

Watching Taylor perform was akin to watching a pianist perform their most beloved piece or a ballerina perform the most intricate of dances, she was passionate and a master of her craft. Like a moth to a flame she drew everyone in with her tantalising stage presence. The way she flexed her body and moved her hips during the dances was enchanting and her singing was saccharine and powerful.

You watched the whole show with a front row seat and full privacy which was appreciated but also incredibly difficult because all you wanted to do was drop on your knees for her and make her sing in a completely different way to what the people were seeing on stage.

You watched with brimming anticipation as the end of the show drew closer, you thought you could faint when you saw the ‘Vigilante Shit’ performance but you just bit your lip and waited patiently. Finally, Taylor did her closing number just as enthusiastically as her first number and exited the stage for the last time tonight.

The whole room was silent as the screen faded to black and you sat with excitement. Slowly, the door handle turned. Taylor stepped into the room, her hair was mussed from the air and her eyes glimmered from the adrenaline of the stage. She scanned the room and locked eyes with you, once again making her way over to you.

She pulled your face to her with an increasing ferocity and in between kisses she said, “I need you so bad.” She began to move you slightly backwards with her sheer height and stance alone and soon your back was on the couch and she hovered over you, thighs trapping yours. “I want you, Taylor.” You breathed out, hands finding hers and locking them together.

She moaned and lifted up your shirt, exposing the soft expanse of your stomach. She laid kisses down, until she reached your jeans and undid them pushing them haphazardly to the floor. Leaning forward, she pressed a soft kiss to your pussy through your underwear and you felt a wave of wetness overcome you. You threw your head back as she shoved your underwear to the floor.

Immediately, she licked a stripe up your pussy and the sensation sent shocks up your spine. She did not relent as Taylor sucked and pivoted her tongue around your clit, her nose pressing into your pubic bone. She slurped the wetness and pressed both her hands to either side of your knees, forcing you to keep your legs wide open. She breathed harder and began to flick her tongue against your clit and occasionally thrusting it into your tight hole.

You put your hands on her head, fingers tangling in her blonde locks as you propelled her head to move back and forth, essentially using her face to grind on. Her jaw moved expertly over your pussy and she leaned back and spat on it for good measure, instantly resuming her attempts. You felt a tugging sensation in your gut as you were so close to your climax and she coaxed you to the edge smacking and salivating all over you.

A burst of pleasure ran through you like a million little stars on fire throughout your soul, the grip on her hair tightened as she continued driving you through your orgasm, never relenting with the same enthusiasm. You keened and moaned out her name as breathe out raggedly. To your surprise, she looked up at you, chin dripping with your own wetness and spit and whispered, “Turn around and get on your knees.”

You looked at her in bewilderment, still a little shaky from your last orgasm but did exactly what she said. You planted your hands in front of you and knelt on the couch, facing away from Taylor. Suddenly, a forceful smack rang out in the room and your flesh stung. A red mark on your ass cheek appeared and before you could even gasp Taylor thrust her middle finger into your core.

You groaned from the mix of pain and pleasure and she started to move the finger in and out. She rubbed and soothed the hurt flesh with her hand until another resounding slap made its way to you. You grunted and she put another finger in. Your stomach was tensing and you could feel the wetness coating your thighs. Languidly, her fingers moved in and out of you at a fast pace and she would give you small encouragements when she felt like it.

“Doing so good for me, baby. Can you cum for me?” Her voice was raspy with indulgence. Your honoured her commitment as your orgasm came faster this time, tipping you over the edge as your thighs shook and tightened around her and your moans intensified ringing out in the otherwise silent room. Breathing hard, you turned to face her and she cupped your jaw, “Did so well for me, dear.” Her blue eyes bore into yours as she began to strip from her costume.

“Can you give me one more? Just want one more from you, my beautiful girl.” Her thumb lightly caressed your cheek as you let out a sob still raw from your last two orgasms. “I’m gonna help you this time, okay?” She laid you down, her voice was sweet and soft. Taylor repositioned herself so she was now hovering over you, her pussy was just above your thigh and yours was anchored just so she would get the right amount of friction.

You made the first move and ground your thigh into her with the little strength you had. She sucked in a breath and put a hand on your stomach, “No, baby, let me.” You could have sobbed in relief when she started moving her own body back and forth, the pressure of her hot skin on your clit was achingly delicious. Her bangs covered her face as she looked down to see both of you so intimately connected.

Her pace quickly emerged and the room was mixed with echoes of your moans and each others names scrambled in between. Her hips reached an insane rhythm as her orgasm approached and she let out a striking moan, shutting her eyes in unfathomable pleasure. You came with her, unable to comprehend anything but her and the slurry of pleasure flitting sparks down your every nerve. She faltered and expertly moved to sit beside you in a heap of skin and bones.

After a few minutes of respite she moved your hair from your face and cradled you in her arms. You sank into her and could have stayed there forever.

end.

[zomaxi]

vincent’s philosophy of love based on his absence of taste is really interesting, like the fact he only kills Manon because he thinks utilizing her in the cooking he feeds to rody will physically infuse the dish with love….since rody adored her….. Rody not eating the food he was given prior having the impression all his previous leftovers felt self absorbed snd devoid of love which is ironic for a chef who’s main job is to provide for other people. Vince has never done that. the bistro itself doesn’t cater towards the customer with its premade menus and he chases a way to find that selfless kind of love especially after he sees how loud and passionately Rody cares for Manon, he tries to express it in the only way he physically knows how. we have one character whos caring to a fault, dedicating their entire existence to serving someone else and putting their priorities above all else and another character who has exclusively lived for themselves thus far and even while trying to express love through cooking can’t do it outside of his own interest and need to accomplish creating something that feels selfless and genuine.

god i love them so much

[the-offside-rule]

Fernando Alonso (Aston Martin) - I Don't Wanna Live Forever

Requested: no

Swift Series

Warnings: age gap, cursing, forbidden love, cliffhanger

*he's fine asf in this gif*

Fernando sighed contently as he walked through the paddock, the all too familiar buzz of a new season on the horizon. The new season was about to begin, and with it came new challenges, new cars, and, as he had just been informed, a new assistant. His previous assistant had moved on, and Fernando was curious about the person who would now be helping him navigate the whirlwind of his career. He walked into the new hospitality, looking around at the slick interior design of the building. He looked over to see his PR manager stood up, waving towards him. He smiled, walking over towards him. "Alright Fernando, how's it going?" She asked as he hugged her. "Yeah, pretty good. Yourself?" She smiled. "I'm doing well. I actually wanted to introduce you to someone-" She paused, turning to the young woman stood behind her. "Fernando, meet Y/n. She'll be your new assistant."

Y/n extended a hand with a confident smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Alonso. I'm excited to work with you." Fernando shook her hand, noting her firm grip and steady gaze. "Please, call me Fernando. And welcome to the team." Y/n nodded, mentally noting the informal tone. "Thank you, Fernando. I've already familiarized myself with your schedule and preferences. If there's anything specific you need or any adjustments, just let me know." Fernando was impressed. "I appreciate that. It's a demanding job, but I'm sure you'll handle it well."

As the days went by, Y/n quickly adapted to the fast-paced environment of Formula 1. She managed Fernando's schedule with precision, coordinated media engagements seamlessly, and ensured he had everything he needed before and after races. Her efficiency and calm demeanor under pressure did not go unnoticed by Fernando. One afternoon, during a break between practice sessions, Fernando found Y/n in the team lounge, engrossed in her laptop. "How are you finding everything so far?" He asked, sitting down across from her. Y/n looked up, a hint of surprise in her eyes. "It's intense, but I love it. The energy, the speed, the team, it's all very exciting." Fernando smiled. "That's good to hear. It's important to have someone who enjoys the chaos as much as the rest of us."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

While Fernando was no stranger to the hectic life of a racing driver, he found a peculiar comfort in the presence of his assistant, Y/n. She was efficient, calm under pressure, and always seemed to know exactly what he needed. Over time, Fernando had developed feelings for Y/n, but he kept them hidden, fearing it would complicate their professional relationship. Y/n, on the other hand, had admired Fernando since the day they started working together. His dedication, passion, and charisma made it hard not to fall for him. But, like Fernando, Y/n kept these feelings concealed, believing it was best to maintain their professional demeanor.

This particular day had been nothing short of exhausting with back-to-back media obligations. Interviews, photoshoots, and press conferences filled the schedule, leaving little time to breathe. Fernando signed the final cap and packed it off to the side. He looked out the window, the sun had set, and the team was packing up. "Finally." He sighed. "Y/n!" Fernando called out. Y/n peered in the door. "Done?" He nodded. "Perfect. You can leave them there, and I'll get them to marketing first thing tomorrow." She said walking towards him. His eyes wandered down her body. He stopped himself, feeling bad. "Stay back for a bit, would you? I think we both could use a drink."

"I can't. You have media day tomorrow, and I think a good nights sleep would do you best." Fernando sat back in the chair. "Come on. Just one." Surprised but curious, Y/n agreed. "Sure, Fernando. A drink sounds good." He smirked. "That didn't take too much convincing."

Fernando stood up and headed downstairs, grabbing a bottle of red wine and twk glasses before making his way back up to the office. "I hope you like wine." He chuckled. She sighed. "Not really, but it's a drink from the Fernando Alonso, so who can complain?" He closed the blinds, trying to block out the world, away from the prying eyes of fans and journalists. Fernando poured the glass and handed it to her, before taking his own. They sipped at their drinks, and for a while, they sat in comfortable silence, savouring the moment of peace. "Do you mind if I ask you something?" Y/n nodded. "Shoot."

"How did you end up in the world of Formula 1?" Fernando asked, genuinely interested. Y/n smiled, taking a sip of the drink. "It was a bit of a twist of fate, really. I always loved motorsports, and when the opportunity came up to work with a team, I took it. And here I am. I didn't think I'd be working for you, though." His brows furrowed. "How come?" She shrugged. "I always loved watching you growing up, so it just seems a bit surreal, I guess." He groaned. "What?" She chuckled. "You're making me sound old." He replied. "You're not that old."

"I am 43 years old. That's old." She eyed up his lips subtly, her finger tracing the rim of her glass. "I don't think so, but okay." Fernando nodded, his eyes never leaving Y/n's. "You're 25. You have no say in this."

As the night went on, the conversation flowed easily. They talked about their childhoods, their passions, and their dreams. The more they shared, the more they realized how much they had in common. "Sometimes, I wonder what life would be like if I hadn't decided to race." Fernando admitted, a rare moment of vulnerability. Y/n reached out, placing a hand on his. "I think you'd still be the same incredible person, just a little less stressed." Fernando's heart raced at the touch. "Yes, but I wouldn't have met all the people I have. We wouldn't have met." Y/n's breath caught. "You'd live without me." Fernando took a deep breath, his eyes locking with Y/n's. "I don't think I could." Y/n's heart swelled. "Fernando -" Fernando leaned in, his lips hovering dangerously close to hers. Their eyes scanned each other, both wondering if they should move closer or simply walk away and pretend it hadn't happened.

Y/n's eyes fluttered shut as Fernando's lips met theirs in a tender kiss. The world around them faded, leaving just the two of them in that moment. She set her glass to the side, her hand flying up to his face, pulling him in closer. He felt euphoric. She was everything he could have asked for and more. He deepened the kiss, pushing her back until she was laying on the couch. Her hands roamed under his Aston Martin shirt, trailing up his tone back. He loved it,every touch, every sound she made below him, he loved it all. That was, until Y/n came to her senses and pulled away. "Wait, stop!"

Fernando's heart sank as she pulled away. "We can't. I can't. It could ruin your career, and it could cost me my job. I've worked too hard for this job for it to be thrown away over a stupid kiss." His brows furrowed. "A stupid kiss?? Is that what you would call this?" She stood up, straightening her skirt out. "I say it as it is. It was a mistake, and it will remain that way. It has to." Fernando shook his head, his eyes pleading. "Y/n, listen. I like you, I like you a lot. I don't care about the risks. I care about you." Y/n looked at him, unsure. Unsure if he was telling the truth or if he was drunk. "I care about you too, but we have to be realistic. This-" She pointed between them both. "This could destroy everything we've worked for." Fernando took her hands in his, his grip firm but gentle. "I'm willing to do anything for you, Y/n. You're worth everything to me." She sighed, closing the door behind her and leaving the spaniard there, drunk, alone and pondering.

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Y/n lay in bed, the soft glow of the city lights seeping through the curtains and casting delicate patterns on the walls. Despite the late hour, sleep eluded her. Her mind was consumed with thoughts of the kiss she shared with Fernando earlier that evening. She could still feel the warmth of his lips, the gentle yet passionate way he had held her. She sighed and turned onto her side, pulling the blankets tighter around her. But no matter how she tried, she couldn’t shake the image of his face, the intensity in his eyes as they parted. Tossing and turning, she fought against the whirlwind of emotions swirling within her.

Finally, unable to bear the restlessness any longer, Y/n sat up, her heart racing with indecision. Should she go to him? Confront these feelings head-on? She hesitated, her fingers gripping the edge of the blanket. But the pull was too strong, the need for clarity too overwhelming. Taking a deep breath, she threw the covers aside and slipped out of bed. She threw on her cardiganHer footsteps were light, almost silent, as she reached her door. Her heart pounded with every step, the anticipation building.

Reaching for her door, she paused, her hand hovering just inches from the wood. She closed her eyes, gathering her courage, then reached for the handle and opened it, her eyes widened in surprise. There stood Fernando. He was dressed as he was earlier, as if he had been up and about, unable to sleep just like her. For a moment, neither of them spoke, the air thick with unspoken words and emotions. “Y/n…” he breathed, taking a step closer. “I-"

It didnt take long for her to wrap her arms around his necl and lock her lips with his again. She had needed this. He pulled away first, looking deep into her eyes. "I need to tell you-"

"Tell me in the morning. I need you now."

[emotionaldamages]

healing the heart- max verstappen

summary- reader is red bull’s admin, which is the beginning of a love story for reader and a certain driver

pairings- max verstappen x social media admin!reader

authors note- this one is kinda long🧍🏽‍♀️ and a lot of repeating words

Y/N sat at her desk, scrolling through the latest photos of the Red Bull Racing team. As the social media admin for the team, it was her job to keep fans engaged and excited. Little did she know, her life was about to take an unexpected turn.

Max Verstappen, the talented Formula One racer, walked into her office. His eyes sparkled with mischief as he leaned against the doorframe, a playful grin on his face. Y/N couldn't help but feel her heart skip a beat.

"Hey there," Max said, his voice smooth and inviting. "Just wanted to see how our fans are doing."

Y/N blushed, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness as she looked up at him. "They're loving your recent win, Max. The support for you is insane."

He chuckled, running a hand through his tousled hair. "Well, it's all thanks to the amazing team we have, including you."

Y/N's heart fluttered at his words. She had always admired Max's talent and dedication, but she never imagined he would notice her. The idea of dating a Formula One racer seemed like a distant dream.

As the days passed, Max and Y/N spent more time together. They would grab lunch at the track, discussing everything from racing strategies to their favorite movies. Max's charm and down-to-earth nature made Y/N feel special, like she was the only person in his world.

One evening, after a grueling race, Max took Y/N out for a surprise dinner. He led her to a cozy restaurant with soft lighting and a breathtaking view of the city. Y/N couldn't help but smile, her heart pounding with anticipation.

Over a delicious meal, Max reached across the table, his warm hand finding hers. "Y/N, I never thought I'd find someone like you. You bring so much joy to my life."

Y/N's cheeks flushed as she looked into his deep, intense eyes. "Max, you've made me believe in love again. I've never met anyone who understands me like you do."

They leaned closer, their lips meeting in a gentle, passionate kiss. In that moment, all the doubts and fears Y/N carried in her heart melted away. Max was not only healing her heart but also filling it with a love she had always longed for.

As they broke apart, Max smiled, his eyes filled with affection. "Y/N, you're the missing puzzle piece in my life. I want to be with you, always."

Y/N felt her heart soar, tears of happiness glistening in her eyes. "Max, I feel the same way. Let's see where this journey takes us."

———

One sunny afternoon, Y/N sat at her desk, scrolling through Red Bull Racing's social media accounts. She admired the team's recent victory and smirked, knowing that she played a small role in their success. Just as she was about to close the tab, a message notification popped up.

Curious, Y/N clicked on it. Her heart skipped a beat when she read the name of the sender—it was Max.

"Hey, Y/N," the message read. "I have a surprise for you. Meet me at the race track tomorrow. Can't wait to see your reaction."

Y/N's excitement bubbled within her. She couldn't help but wonder what Max had in store. The next day, she arrived at the race track, her heart pounding with anticipation. Max stood by the pit lane, a mischievous smile on his face.

"Hey, Max," Y/N greeted, unable to hide her excitement. "What's the surprise?"

Max winked playfully before leading her towards the garage. Y/N's eyes widened as she saw a bright red race car, glistening under the track lights. She couldn't believe her eyes—Max had arranged for her to experience a ride in a real Formula 1 car.

"Is this for real?" Y/N gasped, her voice filled with awe.

Max chuckled, his eyes sparkling. "Absolutely, Y/N. I wanted to give you a taste of what it feels like to be on the track."

Y/N's heart raced with a mixture of nervousness and exhilaration. She slipped into a racing suit, her hands trembling with excitement. As she buckled up inside the car, Max looked at her with a reassuring smile.

"You ready?" he asked.

Y/N could barely contain her enthusiasm. "More than ever, Max."

The engine roared to life, and the car sped off down the track. Y/N felt an adrenaline rush like she had never experienced before. The wind whipped through her hair, and the G-forces pressed her against the seat. She held on tight, laughing and screaming in pure euphoria.

As the ride came to an end, Y/N stepped out of the car, her legs trembling but her heart soaring. Max approached her, his eyes filled with joy.

"See, Y/N," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Life is full of unexpected twists and turns. And sometimes, those twists lead to the most extraordinary moments."

Y/N nodded, her heart pounding with newfound courage. In that moment, she realized that she had not only found love but also a partner who would never stop surprising her.

Little did Y/N know, the surprises were just beginning, and their love story was far from over.

———

Y/N's heart swelled with excitement as she stepped into the Red Bull garage. The familiar scent of rubber and gasoline filled the air, and she couldn't help but feel a sense of belonging in this world that Max Verstappen inhabited.

Max stood there, leaning against the sleek Red Bull car, his eyes lighting up at the sight of Y/N. She couldn't help but notice a hint of nervousness in his gaze, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his race suit.

"Hey," Y/N greeted, her voice filled with anticipation. "What's up?"

Max smiled, but there was something off about it. His voice, normally confident and vibrant, seemed strained as he replied, "Hey, Y/N. Listen, we need to talk."

A flicker of worry danced across Y/N's face as she sensed the seriousness in his tone. "Sure, what's on your mind?"

Max took a deep breath, his eyes searching hers. "I... I heard something today. A rumor about you and Daniel."

Confusion washed over Y/N. Daniel? As in Daniel Ricciardo, Max's former teammate? She couldn't fathom what Max had heard, or how it could possibly involve her.

"What kind of rumor?" she asked, her heart sinking with each passing second.

Max hesitated, his voice barely above a whisper. "They said you and Daniel... you had something before we got together. Is it true?"

Y/N felt her whole world crumble at Max's words. How could he believe such a thing? Her mind raced as she tried to find the right words to explain, but the hurt in Max's eyes made her stumble.

"Max, I... I can't believe you would think that. Daniel and I are just friends, nothing more," she pleaded.

Max's expression softened, but doubt still flickered in his eyes. "I want to believe you, Y/N. But... it's hard. I've been hurt before."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she reached out to touch Max's arm gently. "I understand your fears, Max, but you have to trust me. There's nothing between Daniel and me. You're the only one in my heart."

Max's resolve seemed to waver for a moment before he sighed and nodded. "Okay. I want to believe you, Y/N. I really do."

Relief flooded Y/N's heart, but a small part of her remained wounded. She never expected such a misunderstanding to tarnish their connection, their deep bond.

As they stood there, their emotions still raw, Y/N knew that healing Max's heart would take time. But she was willing to fight for the love they had found and prove to him that their love story was far from over.

With determination in her eyes, Y/N whispered, "I'll do whatever it takes to show you that you're the only one for me, Max. Trust me."

Max's uncertainty slowly faded away as he gazed into Y/N's eyes, seeing the sincerity in her words. "I want to trust you, Y/N. Let's work through this together."

Hand in hand, they walked out of the garage, ready to face the challenges that lay ahead. Love wasn't always simple, but the connection they shared was worth fighting for.

As Y/N and Max stood outside the bustling Red Bull garage, a gentle breeze swept through the air, carrying with it a feeling of newfound hope and clarity. Y/N looked into Max's eyes, her own filled with sincerity.

"Max, I promise you, there's nothing going on between me and Daniel," Y/N said, her voice soft yet resolute. "He's just a friend. The only person who holds my heart is standing right in front of me."

A flicker of relief crossed Max's face, his eyes searching Y/N's for any sign of dishonesty. Finding none, he let out a deep sigh and a small smile slowly formed on his lips.

"I believe you, Y/N," he replied, his voice filled with a mix of vulnerability and determination. "But there's something I need to tell you too."

Curiosity danced in Y/N's eyes as she waited for Max to continue. She knew that love required honesty and trust, no matter how difficult the conversation might be.

"When I heard that rumor about you and Daniel, I have to admit, jealousy consumed me," Max confessed, his voice tinged with remorse. "I didn't want to lose you, Y/N. You mean everything to me."

Touched by Max's honesty, Y/N reached out and gently placed her hand on his, intertwining their fingers. "Max, I'm sorry that I unknowingly caused you pain. My heart has always belonged to you. I'd never do anything to jeopardize what we have."

A sparkle of understanding glimmered in Max's eyes as he squeezed Y/N's hand. "I know that now, Y/N. We all have insecurities, but love is about overcoming them together."

In that moment, the weight of doubt and misunderstanding seemed to dissipate, replaced by a renewed sense of love and acceptance. Y/N and Max had weathered their first major test as a couple, emerging stronger than ever.

As they strolled hand in hand through the Red Bull paddock, laughter spilled from their lips, filling the air with lightness. Y/N's heart soared as they talked about their dreams, their future, and the adventures they yearned to embark on together.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, but the spark between Y/N and Max never waned. Their love continued to flourish, fueled by their shared passion for life and their unwavering support for each other.

Y/N's role as Red Bull Racing's social media admin became the backdrop to their love story, punctuated by exhilarating races, joyous celebrations, and heartfelt tributes. Their connection extended beyond the racetrack, as they found solace in the quiet moments spent cuddling on the couch, watching movies, and sharing their hopes and fears.

Together, Y/N and Max had crafted a love story that defied distance, challenges, and rumors. They had learned that true love doesn't mean the absence of difficulties, but rather the strength to face them together.

As they looked ahead, excitement surged through their veins. The future held unknown adventures, but armed with the love they shared, Y/N and Max were ready to face whatever lay ahead.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 161 thoughts

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 18

Aqua Hoshigan Status: For the future

Never has an OnK chapter gone from It's Hoshinover to We Are Oshi no Back quite as hard and fast as this one. I have issues with this chapter in terms of what it implies about the story's overall structure and the fact that it sort of ruins 153-4 by association but this chapter's back half is so fucking good and the chapter itself works so well in isolation that much like 153-4, I kind of uhhh don't care about the structural issues because the story's heart is, for the most part, not just intact but beating harder and more passionately than it has in a long time.

To get what I don't like out of the way, the story seems to have settled on Super Evil Serial Killer Mastermind Kamiki as his final form characterization with some helpful Tsukuyomi exposition to just straightforwardly Tell Us things the manga probably should have spent some of the last 70something chapters Showing Us about Hikaru. The basic idea of Hikaru being some sort of serial killer so dedicated to upholding Ai's legacy that he kills women with the potential to surpass her was more or less always where I expected his character to land and this settling of his character does at least preserve what I think is the most important thing: that he genuinely loved Ai and his bent towards villainy only came after her death.

What I don't love as much is that this chapter seems to continue leaning into Uber God Manipulator Mastermind Kamiki like last chapter. I already talked at length about my issues with this framing in my previous chapter review so all I'll reiterate here is that the story's attempt to frame Hikaru as being equally or even more culpable for the actions of Nino and Ryosuke fall entirely flat to me, especially when the manga itself does such a pisspoor job of actually explaining how or why Kamiki was able to control and/or predict their actions to the extent that he supposedly did. And ESPECIALLY especially given that Nino and Ryosuke seem to have already been dangerously obsessed with Ai by the time they approached him.

In general, Hikaru's character is honestly just so inconsistent at this point that making any sense of his actions feels fruitless. If I really dig into what's going on, I can infer that maybe he fell into the same trap as Aqua by overcompensating for his trauma-induced helplessness by becoming overly controlling and guess that his fucked up trauma response to Ai's death combined with those terrible words Kindaichi gave him at Airi's funeral lead him down he road he's traveling now. I can even extrapolate that Aqua showing him the DVD message in 153-4 pushed Hikaru to this extreme and now that he has nothing to lose, he's lashing out at his children too - though, it should be noted, that the manga still hasn't actually established what Hikaru's culpability is in Nino's attempt on Ruby's life, outside of Aqua saying "well you didn't use your psychic powers to perfectly predict nino's actions so it's on you".

But like - this is all stuff I'm having to infer and extrapolate and guess, reverse engineering logic from our end point in an attempt to create a stable foundation for this characterization. The manga has done such a poor job of properly establishing Hikaru both as an antagonistic force and as a consistent character that I feel like I'm trying to assemble a coherent image from two different puzzle sets with all the fucking corner pieces missing and that's with Crow Girl looking into the camera and Explaining Him to me.

And listen, I am a bitch who LOVES to infer things. One of my absolute favourite pieces of fiction of all time ever is Umineko no Naku Koro Ni, a mystery story that literally does not contain any straightforwardly explicit, textual confirmation of the culprit's identity or motives because it believes so strongly that you, the reader, are smart enough and empathetic enough to put in the time and effort necessary to understand it regardless and it deeply, deeply values being able to give you that experience. But OnK feels less like it's intentionally encouraging me to think hard and enjoy the process of putting my head and my heart to work - it feels like it's leaving its homework unfinished and letting the reader do the actual hard work of sewing up the internal logic.

I probably won't talk much more about Kamiki this chapter cos I'd just be saying all this shit over and over but I really just am struggling to understand from a perspective of authorial intent what the vibe is even supposed to be. Like I mentioned in a previous ask, if this is where Kamiki's arc is reaching its conclusion then it means that the Movie Arc was essentially a whole-ass waste of time in and out of universe. Blech. Hate that.

Also, before I move on, I don't want to leave this just implied - making Kamiki explicitly a CSA victim and then ending his arc on Aqua (and implicitly the narrative) dismissing him as being too broken/corrupted to be saved is a really major misstep that I think represents a huge black mark on OnK's handling of CSA as a topic. The idea of an eternal defilement or an unfixable core wrongness in the self is already something real life CSA victims struggle with in the process of unpacking their trauma and having our likable and supposedly morally superior protagonist espouse this unchallenged in a work as prominent and relevant as Oshi no Ko is irresponsible bordering on dangerous. It's incredibly disappointing that after all the care Aka and Mengo seemingly took in handling this topic that it was whiffed so badly at the last second.

ANYWAY!!! Now all the beef's been dealt with, we can cleanse our palettes and move onto everything else I liked which was… basically everything else in this chapter!

Admittedly, Aqua's overall arc is still suffering from us being kicked out of his head from like 123 onwards for no real apparent reason and while 150 was a welcome refresher on where he's at in this part of the story, it still feels a bit like the story is prioritizing preserving the surprise factor of its twists over making these surprises feel earned. Compare it to volume 1 - you are basically told exactly what is going to happen to Ai, especially in the manga when Saitou and Gotanda outright say as much - but her death is still incredibly impactful and upsetting. I think this chapter is very effective, but could've been a lot moreso if we'd spent more time in Aqua's head leading up to it.

THAT SAID… If the intention of keeping us out of his head was to recontextualize Aqua's behaviour across the past ten or so chapters in this new light, I don't hate it as much as I might have. I initially took issue with what felt like the story off-screening and not addressing the resolution to Aqua's suicidal ideation so whipping back around to prove that it was still very much present puts some particular Aqua moments over this past volume into a very different light. As some people pointed out, Aqua missing Kana's pitch - literally dropping the ball in responding to her feelings - and his wide-eyed look of alarm in 151 seemed very ominous omens for the success of her confession and that beat of him covering his face when Kana approves of his dream… very incheresting knowing Aqua was still struggling with 'love or revenge' at this point.

Most interesting of all to reconsider is Aqua breaking down in tears in Miyako's arms in 155 when she addresses him as her son for the first time. At the time it read like catharsis but now I can't help but wonder if this was Aqua grieving for something he desperately wants but thinks is out of his reach.

i do have to say though. i get the general vibe of this plan and think it works fine as the apex of aqua's self-sacrificial protectiveness for the people he loves but how is being the daughter of a serial killer somehow any less scandalous for her career than being the sister of someone who killed one dude. does aqua think they just won't notice that kamiki happens to be their biodad or something. wasn't that the whole point of the movie. goofy ass plan.

What really saves this whole scenario is the emotions at play, though. This really does feel like Aqua at his most Aqua in a really long while and this chapter has so much love and respect for his life as Aqua and the bonds he has formed as a result. The dreams Aqua lays out are so agonizingly simple, too - he wants to pursue the career he finds rewarding. He wants to date the girl he likes. He wants to accept Miyako as his mom and Himekawa as his brother and to make things right with Akane after hurting and using her. He wants to see Ruby achieve her dream and be there to support her when she does.

But Aqua's always considered his dreams impossible, hasn't he?

I fully admit; I got spoiled with the full page spread of Aqua stabbing himself way in advance of the chapter and initially hated it as a twist. But with the full chapter as context and the sheer weight of Aqua's longing to just fucking live and find joy, it's not just effective but absolutely gutwrenching. It is the synthesis of Aqua's series-long battle to choose love or revenge and it resonates perfectly because it has never been one or the other for him - Aqua's revenge has always been rooted in the fact that he loves others so wholly and completely and hates himself so utterly that he thinks sacrificing himself to preserve their futures is the only path for him to take. It's the culmination and final release of the suicidal ideation Aqua has been dealing with since he was four years old and like Ai's tragedy before him, there's a horrible sense that maybe there really was no other way this could've gone.

Aqua being the character who actually takes the knife also firmly cements him as Ai's narrative echo in the text which has me barkin and howlin because it's what I've been saying all this time. Not just that, but so many of Aqua's expressions in this chapter pointedly and deliberately echo Ai's after she was stabbed. Not just that, but Aqua's achingly simple dreams echo Ai's own heartrendingly simple regrets - all the two of them ever wanted was to be happy with the people they love.

This also reframes the story's prior establishment of Ruby as paralleling Ai and seems to place the twins in the position of echoing not Ai in her entirety but Ruby as 'Ai of B-Komachi' and Aqua as 'Ai Hoshino'. This was actually something I outlined in one of my very first meta posts on the series, but I think making it more specific to 'Ruby as Ai the idol' and 'Aqua as Ai the human', this actually gives Ruby's arc in relation to Ai a bit of breathing room. Don't get me wrong, everything I've said about her post-BH writing being underbaked and inconsistent is still the case, especially when it comes to how confused the story is on whether Ruby is her own idol or New And Improved Ai 2.0 but giving it less ground to cover helps in terms of her writing no longer being spread quite as thin.

Speaking of Ruby, that beat of her seeming to react or sense something is up the moment Aqua takes the stab. 'Something happened to my loved one far away and I just Feel It' is a trope I'm always a sucker for and I really dig it here.

"The public don't care about the truth, so let's tell them a lie" is such a crazy hard sentiment to go out on too. Holy fuck.

There go our boys…!!! Quite a few people predicted they might go over the edge when Aqua showed up in his Mephisto fit (Mefitsto) and I'm interested to see if we get any parallels to the ED's imagery in the next few chapters. Overall, though, I'm really excited for where things are going - I don't think Aqua will die, but I do have some theories about what might happen. I can't think of a more traditional misogi purification experience than the middle of the ocean in late December, after all…

No break next week! Woohoo! While the delay of episode 12 means we won't be getting them on the same day, that is the same week S2 of the anime will be concluding and Aka does like lining up his bombshells with the anime. So who knows what we'll see.

seriously tho aqua. everyone already knows kamiki is you and ruby's biodad. HOW IS THIS ANY BETTER THAN HER BEING THE DAUGHTER OF A SERIAL KILLER AS IT ALREADY STANDS

[scaralvr]

test me. scaramouche x immortal!gn!reader contains :: religious themes, angst, 3.3 archon quest spoilers

synopsis: you have been scaramouche's faithful & loyal assistant since he was graced with the title of balladeer, but your acts of dedication towards his great being go unnoticed by him each time. however, you would never give up on your God. it is him you worship, not the tsaritsa. when he replaces you with haypasia, you refuse to live without another to serve under.

notes :: songfic based off of melanie martinez's song test me! i haven't written in awhile so it may be a little rusty :')

at first, you weren't quite sure what to think of the almighty sixth you would serve for the rest of your life as a fatui recruit. bearing a cryo vision, you found no use for the doctor's delusions, but the sixth himself requested you use one, for whatever reason you aren't aware of. the sixth of the eleven had a temper that you didn't mind, but still didn't deem his behaviour tolerable. he acts like a brat, expecting everything to be handed to him on a silver platter by his pathetic inferiors.

it sickens you to the core. how could you serve someone as cruel and disgusting as him? questions like these flood your mind but a specific one stands out from the rest. why do you serve him? with such joy and enthusiasm, too. you're fully aware that the other fatui have been stirring up some trouble with scandalous rumors they spread around, fixating on how insane you must be to enjoy working under the balladeer's orders.

you're not deranged. a little eccentric, scaramouche would say. he doesn't mind your passion as his assistant, if anything, he prefers to have someone like this rather than a timid and quiet person who has to be told twice to finish things up. you don't even talk his ear off but instead, abide by every single demand of his and choose to stay silent when he says to. he calls you a, 'smart one,' considering the fact that his past assistants had to face the consequences you were avoiding.

you found the happiness you rarely had in serving him, enjoying the way he sadistically looks into nothing while going on and on about his sinister plans to overpower his creator through his birth of a God. he'd been planning this for quite a while and you were there through all of it. you stole for him, risked your life for him, took lives for him, and what did you get in return after years of your service? your knees feel weak and you suppose it's from kneeling to him all of the time.

they grow even weaker and the breath is knocked out of your throat at his words. "your assistance was tolerable and i'll be dismissing you. this is where your job ends, (y/n)." his words pound at your head and repeat like a broken loop, reminding you over and over that you're not needed. the God that you love and cherish is abandoning his divine angel. his fallen angel. you don't know why, but tears spring to your eyes as you step forward with a hand against your chest. you open your mouth to speak in a small voice, "but, my lord, i'm afraid you do need me. who will come along with you on your way through your journey of Godhood?"

scaramouche doesn't spare you a single glance and chooses to look out the window. "a researcher i've come across in sumeru has proven her worth to me. and don't get me twisted, you have proven your worth as well. she is... simply better in terms of everything and if you can't handle that truth, i don't care. do as i say, since you worship me so much," a wide smirk stretches his lips and you catch sight of it in the reflection of the glass window. the light in your eyes go out in sorrow as you percieve the fact that your God replaced you.

hey, God, i'll be the jester. entertain you, to the best of, my ability.

you wander sumeru with a blank expression, still registering the moments that previously occured. you cut ties with your family and loved ones for him and going back there wouldn't do you any good, as they've already deemed you as scum for joining the fatui all those years ago. your immortal state makes it worse, since you figure living without a purpose is much worse than death itself. while walking with your head down, your shoulder hits something. a person. you turn your head and your eyes meet those of a dashing gold. a fairly handsome man with long blonde hair tied in a braid appears astounded. not too far, a fairy with white hair floats next to him.

"sorry, i wasn't looking where i was going."

at that pathetic apology, you narrow your eyes. what type of person puts the blame on themself when they know very well it's the other's fault? curious, you place a hand on your hip and comment, "your attire... it's not from here. may i question you?" the fairy excitedly claps her hands, "oh, we were about to question you, actually!" you raise a brow, "really? whatever for?" the man kindly smiles and explains the situation to you in a tone like he's known you forever. scaramouche has known you forever. he's never shown such kindness like that to you.

you have no one to serve. no one to follow. all of your sacrifices were a waste, for the very man you put everything on the line for, threw you away like a worthless piece of trash. as you listen to the voice of the mysterious traveler, you feel a hope light up within you again. maybe, just maybe, it'll be different. this time, it will. when he finishes his brief explanation, you instantly shoot your shot. "the balladeer, you say?"

in the meanwhile, scaramouche is left to his own gadgets within the solace of his temporary room. temporary, because he knows he'll be on the move again. he always will be, now that he's turned his back on her majesty, the tsaritsa, and ran away with one of her treasured gnoses. he stares out the window, just like he did a few hours ago, and realizes the time. the sun is beginning to set and usually, you would enter the room with a tray of tea for both him and you to share as he discusses his plans.

it's not too long before scaramouche remembers he already removed you from the plan. your company and assistance have brought him this far, huh? he lets out a sigh that makes him realize he was holding in his breath for quite a bit now. he places his elbow atop the window sill and rests his chin in his palm. it's gotten a little boring since you left, hasn't it? it hasn't even been a day. scaramouche grits his teeth and groans in frustration. it seems like he doesn't enjoy the feeling of being alone, either.

but it's whatever! you're his faithful assistant, maybe if you put some thought into that robotic and tiny brain of yours, you'll be smart enough to come back because both you and scaramouche know you could never survive without him. yeah, you'll be back. the moon rises in the sky and scaramouche tightens his clutch on the wood of the sill. you'll definitely be back...

when i suffer, more fragility, when i answer. came here for a reason.

for the next few days, you spend it with aether and his friend, paimon. he easily opened up to you about his lost sister and the nations he previously went to in hopes of finding her but to no avail. you pity the poor male and choose to make his time in sumeru more enjoyable before he goes off to confront the balladeer. ah, it wasn't too hard to tell him that you're the balladeer's assistant. paimon was a little jumpy at first, but he, he was understanding... someone worthy of worshipping.

bit by bit, scaramouche can feel himself breaking. every little thing irritates him. the sound of the wind's harsh currents, the feeling of something rough against the supple skin of his hand, the crippling isolation of his room. with a determined yet firm frown, he remakes a brew of green tea for the several time this week. it doesn't taste right. no matter how much sugar he adds (which he never enjoys in his tea but he's trying), he can't recreate the taste of the way you made it.

little does he know, you're making the same tea, yet it's for another man. "(y/n), this is very well-made!" aether exclaims with a grin and you feel yourself flush red. "is it?... thank you," you mutter, turning away to pour some into a tea cup for paimon. aether chuckles, "you've done alot for me and my traveling companion, (y/n). and i've been wondering about something for sometime." you notice the way he fumbles with the tea cup in his hands from the corner of your eye. "go on," you say, putting aside the tea pot and facing him. aether confidently adds, "i'd like for you to join me on my journeys, if you'll allow it. considering the way the balladeer did all of that to you-"

ah. you uncomfortably shuffle your feet in your position and paimon notices the tense situation. "h-hey, it's alright, (y/n)! aether's a really nice guy, huh? we would never do something like that to you!" paimon says, trying to lighten the mood. you let out a soft sigh, "i... thank you. will you let me think about it?" aether pauses and eagerly nods, "of course. take as much time as you need." and that's how you ended up wandering in the vast forest of sumeru. no matter which way you shift your thoughts, it always ends up drifting back to the indigo haired harbinger.

you delicately hold a sumeru rose in your hands and tilt your head to inspect the flower. suddenly, an anger rises and before you realize it, you're tightly clutching the flower, completely destroying its petals and stem altogether. you loved him. he was your everything. you guess he didn't feel the same for you. because he is a heartless, wretched and brutal — the silent time to yourself was interfered with another person's barely audible gasp. you're quick to whip around and wield your sword, finding the sharp end of it against someone's neck. scaramouche is unfazed, content, even.

"still on guard as ever," he murmurs, using his finger to guide your sword away from his throat, but the pressure of your blade creates a small slit against his flawless skin and you draw blood. you slowly withdraw your weapon as he traces his fingertip along the wound. "what has my little ex-assistant been up to as of late? i don't think you have any business in sumeru, do you?" scaramouche casually asks while impotently wiping the blood on his attire.

you knit your brows together and as much as it hurts to do so, you speak without using your usual endearment, 'my lord,' for him. "you cease to exist to me, balladeer," the way it rolls off of your tongue is foreign to him, it even surprises you. scaramouche has no time for petty feelings, but he lets them get in the way. his pupils are blown with anger as he seethes, "who do you think you are? just because i've abandoned you like the hindrance you are, it doesn't mean you get to treat me with such... inferiority!"

"but you're wrong, balladeer. i can and i will." with those words serving a final blow to his non-existent heart, you turn on your heel to find the blonde traveler with the answer to his question bound to escape your lips that used to say nothing but praises to the sixth.

just stop complaining, all have our seasons, it's not just a joke or a lesson to live through.

scaramouche watches your form disappear in the distance, only then, can he fully consume the fact that you aren't coming back unless he asks. stubborn one, aren't you? always playing hard to get. he deludes himself with this, believing that you still want to serve your one and only God. right, he's owned you from the start. he owned you the moment you agreed to be his assistant. you can't just get up and leave like that, no, your work is far from done. scaramouche agrees that it was rather trivial to dismiss you like that and he sees his mistake. why can't you understand that he needs you back?

but the cherry on top is the way you stand before his godly form, alongside the traveler. you're not supposed to be here. scaramouche is struck with shock when he sees you enter the scene with aether. the moment is swept away just as quick when he laughs. he laughs like a crazed man, hands on his stomach as he catches his breath. "oh, this is rich, (y/n)! you're so worthless, you really had to find another to serve after i ditched you. you're nothing but a weak follower and i plan on making you take that role to the grave," his tone drops to that of a condescending one and various emotions surge through his veins.

the immense adrenaline pumping through his system can't compare to the pain he feels when buer seizes his gnosis. this can't be happening. he's done so much to make it this far, only for all of it to come crashing down before him. his mother, his friend, the child, you. you've left a scar on him that he'll never forget. he hates it. you must be smirking to yourself as he falls from the large mech. he misses when you were still by his side, always smiling even when he ordered you to commit something so atrocious as murder.

he acknowledges it now. scaramouche realizes that you were there from the beginning and despite his cruel doings, he was your God. he never needed to go this far, because he was yours. what is this feeling, he wonders. well, it's too late now. scaramouche can only accept defeat, falling, until... he hits something, but it certainly isn't the ground. his eyes can barely stay open from how visibly exhausted he is yet he manages to make out a figure looking down at him. you steadily hold him in your arms and aether rushes to you. "are you sure you want to do this, (y/n)?" he queries. you nod in response, "i'll look after him."

every which way in second, there's a breakthrough.

scaramouche, now being the wanderer, loiters within sumeru with no purpose whatsoever. with no place to go or stay, he explores and occasionally helps the traveler with some of their needs. but it still hurts. even if he's occupied himself with other things, he keeps on thinking about you. it was always you. yet the searing pain makes him wail at night, recalling the way you looked at him like he was... a stranger.

"(y/n)!" for the first time in forever, he genuinely smiled. he was happy that at least, he still had you through this whole wreck. scaramouche had the guts to apologize. coming to think of it, it was a stupid thing from the beginning. he was thankful that you stayed loyal to him and still were at that time, considering the fact that you took care of him when he was unconscious. when nahida informed him of it, he couldn't be more relieved.

you turn at the exclaimation of your name and instantly back away in confusion. "aether, who is this?" your words put scaramouche's movements to a stop and his smile drops. "wh-what do you mean? traveler, what do they mean?" he hurriedly asked, voice cracking in between some words. you furrow your brows together and aether muttered, "they don't remember you,"

he felt the heaviest weight bring itself onto his chest. it's hard to breathe. that's right, he erased himself from the memories of many people, including you. how could he be so blind back then? all he needed, wanted, was someone that could stay by his side forever and love him unconditionally. he knew very well you were immortal, so he wouldn't have to worry about your lifespan. he also knew how much you worshipped him, so he wouldn't have to worry about the potential chance of betrayal, either.

why did he let such a beautiful and caring little thing like you out of his sight?

© scaralvr.

[toastedfries]

Our Heartbeats: a Welcome Home AU

(HEAVILY) Inspired by Doki Doki literature club, the AU comes in the form of a visual novel and centers around the members of the theatrics club: Wally Darling, Sally Starlet, Frank Frankly, Julie Joyful and last but not least, you!

Below are the character profiles of your clubmates, enjoy what Team Salami has cooked up for you!

Wally Darling: your club leader and set designer, he's not very good at it though... Usually being a bit of a klutz, Wally falls over often and has trouble picking up dialogue cues. He has a particularly strange and charming way of communicating. If you're blunt enough while romancing him, he just might offer you to be his occasional ladder

Sally Starlet: your mutual friend, the club's lighting specialist, and play director. She practically dragged you into the club because of your casual interest in plays and such. Sally is very passionate about everything play related and takes a lot of pride in every role she fulfills. Your relationship as friends might go further... well, only if you choose for it to of course

Frank Frankly: the club's screen writer, you've never seen Frank on school grounds and due to that you've never had a chance to interact with him, and it seems like he'd like to keep it that way. Frank shows an obvious dislike towards you and you can't quite put a finger on why. Winning him over will take quite the effort.

Julie Joyful: the club's costume designer, from the moment you met Julie you get the impression that she's a very extraordinary person. From what you've heard she's a very down to earth and dedicated person, usually being a little too absorbed in her craft. You've never seen her donning a normal school blazer, only the ones she's made from scratch. She's rather shy around you so it's your job to bring her out of that shell.

WALLY DARLING: YOU ALREADY KNOW ME SILLY!

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Holy fuck that took a hot minute to make, I hoped you liked this silly silly idea that came into my head randomly that I'm now going to dedicate months or years of my life to haha. Anyhow I'd like to give a shoutout to @shadyauthor and their Heartstrings AU we had similar ideas with the ddlc inspo and all (read their AU fic on their blog (pls))

Sorry if my English is a little wacky sometimes I'm not a native speaker

[onlyonetifosi]

2 part to: The engineer

It was a sunny morning in Monaco, and Yn Leclerc sat at the breakfast table with her family. Her mother, Pascale, had just finished serving them a delicious meal, and now they were engaging in light conversation before Yn's graduation ceremony.

"Je suis tellement fière de toi, ma chérie," Pascale said, placing a hand on Yn's arm. "You've worked so hard for this day."

Yn smiled gratefully at her mother. "Merci, Maman. I couldn't have done it without your support."

Her brothers, Lorenzo, Charles, and Arthur, nodded in agreement. They knew how dedicated Yn had been throughout her engineering studies, juggling her academic responsibilities and her part-time job.

Lorenzo spoke up, his voice filled with admiration. "Yn, tu es vraiment la plus intelligente d'entre nous. We're lucky to have you as our sister."

Yn's heart warmed at her brothers' words. She had always been proud of their achievements in motorsports, but sometimes, she couldn't help feeling a pang of insecurity. Being the only sibling pursuing higher education, she had often felt left out of their racing world.

"Merci, Lorenzo," Yn replied, her voice tinged with vulnerability. "I'm proud of all of you too, but sometimes I wish I could have been a part of the racing journey as well."

Charles, who had become an established Formula 1 driver, reached across the table and grasped Yn's hand. "Yn, we love and support you in everything you do. Racing might be our passion, but we know how hard you've worked for your degree."

Arthur chimed in, his tone sincere. "Exactly! We wouldn't be where we are without your unwavering support and encouragement. You're an integral part of our success."

Yn's eyes welled up with tears, and she squeezed Charles and Arthur's hands. "Thank you, both of you. I'm so lucky to have such amazing brothers."

Pascale, ever the nurturing mother, rose from her seat. "Enough of the mushy talk, mes enfants! We have a graduation to prepare for."

The family spent the next few hours together, helping Yn get ready for her big day. Pascale, a talented hairdresser, skillfully styled Yn's hair, creating an elegant updo. She then applied subtle makeup to enhance Yn's natural beauty.

As Yn looked at herself in the mirror, she felt a sense of confidence radiating from within. She was ready to face the world, armed with her education and the unwavering support of her family.

The graduation ceremony took place in a grand auditorium, with friends, faculty, and fellow students gathered to celebrate their achievements.

"Y/N Leclerc, s'il vous plaît, venez sur scène" Y/N's name was called, a sense of accomplishment washed over her. She gracefully walked across the stage, accepting her degree with honors from her professor, Madame Moreau. The audience erupted in applause, and Y/N couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude towards her family, especially her late father, who had instilled in her a passion for knowledge.

Y/N took a deep breath and made her way to the stage. Applause filled the room as she accepted her diploma with a radiant smile. In that moment, all her hard work and sacrifices felt worth it.

After the graduates received their diplomas, Y/N was invited to give a speech on behalf of her class. Standing at the podium, she felt a surge of confidence.

"Mesdames et messieurs, aujourd'hui, nous célébrons nos réalisations en tant qu'ingénieurs. Je tiens à remercier ma famille pour leur amour et leur soutien sans faille. Nous sommes tous ici grâce aux sacrifices de ceux qui nous ont précédé. En premier lieu, je tiens à remercier ma famille pour m'avoir soutenue tout au long de ce parcours. Votre amour inconditionnel m'a donné la force de poursuivre mes rêves. Aujourd'hui, je suis fière de dire que j'ai obtenu mon diplôme d'ingénieur avec mention." (Ladies and gentlemen, today we celebrate our achievements as engineers. I would like to thank my family for their unwavering love and support. We are all here because of the sacrifices of those who came before us. First I would like to thank my family for supporting me throughout this journey. Your unconditional love has given me the strength to pursue my dreams. Today, I am proud to say that I have graduated with honors as an engineer)

Her voice resonated through the auditorium, carrying her message of gratitude and determination. She acknowledged the challenges they had overcome and the dreams they now pursued.

"Nous sommes la preuve vivante que peu importe d'où nous venons, nous pouvons atteindre nos objectifs avec passion et détermination. Ne laissez jamais les obstacles vous décourager, et souvenez-vous que vous n'êtes jamais seuls. Aujourd'hui, nous sommes ici ensemble, en tant qu'une famille d'ingénieurs" (We are living proof that no matter where we come from, we can achieve our goals with passion and determination. Never let obstacles get in the way of you, and remember that you are never alone. Today, we are here together, as a family of engineers)

As Y/N concluded her speech, the room erupted into applause. The pride on her family's faces was immeasurable. Y/N had not only graduated with honors, but she had also inspired her peers.

Her family erupted into applause, their cheers blending with the thunderous applause of the crowd. Yn could see familiar faces in the audience, including some F1 drivers who had become friends with the little Leclerc because of Charles such as Max Verstappen, with his signature grin lighting up his face, stood up and clapped enthusiastically, Lando Norris and Pierre Gasly joined in the applause, their support evident.

Yn's heart swelled with gratitude. She had found her place, not on the racetrack but among these incredible individuals who recognized her dedication and achievements.

After the ceremony, the Leclerc family gathered for a joyous celebration. Laughter filled the air as they toasted to Yn's success. The F1 drivers joined in, sharing stories and lighthearted banter.

"Merci d'être toujours là pour moi. Je vous aime tous. (Thank you for always being there for me. I love you all)” yn said raising her glass, and the room was filled with cheers, laughter, and heartfelt conversations.

As the evening wore on, Yn found herself in a quiet corner of the room, reflecting on the day's events. She could feel her father's presence with them, despite his absence. He had instilled in them the values of love, unity, and unwavering support.

Charles approached Yn, a soft smile gracing his face. "You did it, Yn. Dad would have been so proud."

Yn nodded, tears of happiness brimming in her eyes. "I know, Charles. Today, I felt his love surrounding us."

The Leclerc siblings shared a warm embrace, a moment of connection and understanding that surpassed words. In that moment, they knew that their father's spirit lived on within each of them, binding them together through their shared experiences and unwavering support.

And so, the Leclerc family celebrated into the night, cherishing the triumphs, overcoming the challenges, and reaffirming their unbreakable bond. Together, they stood as a testament to the power of love, support, and the pursuit of dreams.

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

G!P donna, with y/n asking if she would like to trying receiving penetration, either with a strap or fingering while getting oral? as it's something she never got to try with a someone before the cadou changed things.

Yesss!!! Well, I'm not used to write that kind of things but... I've tried ;) Thank you for your request!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!! :))))

Feeling yours

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: G!P Donna, anal sex (not so explicit but, well, it's the way it has to be), strap-on, smut, Minors DNI, fluff

Word count: 5,363

Summary: She was thinking about a sensation she never felt...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I love you all!!!

“Oh, Donna...” You sighed, letting yourself fall into bed, exhausted by another of your nights of kisses, caresses, of passion, of absolute love.

The brunette smiled at you and opened her arms so you could settle into her chest, as always, your favorite part of making love.

“Did you enjoy it, tesoro?” She asked quietly, also catching her breath. You nodded, eyes shining, with a relieved smile.

“Yes... You're the best,” you whispered, making her laugh shyly.

If you were told a year ago that you were going to end up in an affair with one of the village Lords, you would probably ask them what forbidden substance they had ingested. But it was reality. After your obligatory visits to the estate, due to your job as the Duke's substitute merchant, you decided that you didn't want to leave, that you wanted to stay there.

Donna Beneviento was a lonely woman, who had no interest in social relationships. She was a hermit, locked in her old house and dedicating herself only to her dolls.

To think that you, an ordinary villager, could change that made you feel lucky, the luckiest girl in the world. Self-conscious, tormented, ashamed of what Mother Miranda's gift did to her body, Donna lived like a soul in pain, like a ghost that became tangible only when you told her how beautiful she was.

You didn't want more, you didn't ask for more. Just spend the rest of your life with her, with Angie, with what you had been calling for some time, family.

“(Y/N), can I ask you something?” Donna said, breaking you out of your thoughts. You looked at her briefly and nodded.

“Sure,” you said, pulling the sheets to cover you both and turning off the light, ready to relax and sleep.

“How does it feel?” The brunette asked, with an intriguing, curious tone.

You frowned and settled on your side of the bed, turning your head towards her.

“What are you talking about?” You wanted to know, closing your eyes and trying to stay awake. The tone of her voice was like a sleeping pill, like a relaxing infusion to your ears.

“Well, you know...” Donna murmured, nervously playing with one of your hands.

 It seemed like an interesting question, so you forgot about sleeping for a moment, laughing in amusement.

“No, Donna, I don't know what you mean,” you said with a smile, enjoying the shyness so inappropriate for a Lord like her.

“When, when I make love to you... What do you feel?” She asked after a few seconds. You couldn't see her in the dark, but you imagined her cheeks had already turned red.

“What do I feel? Oh, well, it's a complicated question,” you said, blinking in disbelief at that curiosity. Donna was shy, she always was. You still remembered how nervous she was in your first time. “Why do you want to know it?”

“Well, I... I'm, I'm curious,” she said with a tone of voice that revealed how nervous she was about asking something like that.

“Let's see... It's, I don't know... I feel, you know, full of you,” you explained gently, dragging her trembling body very close to yours, to offer her some peace of mind. “When I feel you inside me it's... I don't know. It's like I'm able to understand that I'm yours.”

“Oh...” She sighed, sounding a bit disappointed by your response. “I guess you like that feeling.”

“Of course I like it,” you said immediately, diverting any negative thoughts from her mind. “Feeling that way drives me crazy, Donna, to feel that I’m yours.”

“Sorry for asking you these things. I…” Lady Beneviento said, snuggling her head into your bare chest, bringing your bodies together in the darkness. “It's just... I never,  I never had the opportunity to feel that way with anyone. You know, before… Before the Cadou.”

You nodded in the dark, realizing the intent of that question. Poor Donna, she was so alone before Mother Miranda, she never had the chance to know about love, and she never would if she hadn't met you.

“I see,” you said in an understanding way, gently kissing her hair, letting her know that you were with her in her bad memories, in the memories of a life full of loneliness.

But a slightly strange idea crossed your mind, making your body tense.

“Wait, if you're so curious, we can try it,” you proposed, turning on the light and sitting on the bed, making Donna move away from and look at you with a confused expression.

“What? What are you talking about?” She asked, looking for some clue in your gaze, which became mischievous.

“You can feel that way too, even with... With your body,” you said, your voice broken by the shyness that remained in you.

“I don't think it's possible, (Y/N). I don't have... Oh, Gods...” She said, her eye widening when she realized that you were right, that, technically, it was possible. “You know what? Forget about that,” she said hurriedly, approaching her side’s nightstand and turning off the light again.

You acted by turning it on immediately after, biting your lip as you imagined this curious new scenario that had been posed for you.

“Come on, Donna, it can be funny, don't you think? Besides, you were the one who asked me if...” You said, moving her shoulders, shaking her body now with her back to yours.

“I don't... I don't think I can... I don't know if...” Donna said, probably wanting to pull hard on the sheets until they were completely torn, knowing that she was the one who started that conversation.

“Come on, you'll like it, I promise. It's not the first time I've done it that way. Once…” You explained, before Donna stirred abruptly, sitting up and glaring at you.

“Enough!” She squealed, nervous. “ I don't want to know what you did with... With other people,” she said more calmly.

You rolled your eyes and grabbed her shoulders, trying to relax her terrified gaze. She could never get used to knowing that for you, she wasn't the first.

“Okay, forget I said that but... I don't know, Donna, just think about it, okay?” You whispered, kissing her bare shoulder and then her wounded cheek, making her, little by little, breathe normally again.

She nodded and right after, she shook her head, turning her back to you again.

You huffed, turning off the light again and hugging her body from behind, ready to sleep and forget that curious proposal.

“(Y/N)...” Donna whispered, getting a little closer to you.

“Does it really feel that good? Feeling someone inside of you,” she whispered again, gently grabbing your hand around her waist.

“Even better, Donna,” you whispered in amusement, kissing her back and trying not to think about how hot your body had gotten just thinking about it.

There were no more comments, no more whispers. The sound of her deep breathing began to fill the room as you found to sleep after that image in your head, very difficult.

The next day passed calmly, idyllic, like all the others you passed by her. But there was something, something different. Donna seemed more absent than usual, as if she was mulling something over.

You confirmed your suspicions when it was time to read quietly with some tea.

“Donna,” you said to get her attention.

She looked at you briefly over her book, but quickly looked away.

“Are you here?” You asked amused, closing your book and leaving it on the side of the couch. She looked at you again for a moment, and nodded, turning a page.

“Yes, I'm reading,” Donna said with an innocent, seemingly innocent, voice. You, from the sight in front of you, knew that it wasn't innocent at all.

“Are you?” You asked again, standing up to put her book down with one hand and a frown, holding back your laughter.

“Of course,” she said, with a slightly abrupt tone, unable to keep her gaze on yours.

“Wow, I find it very curious,” you sighed, picking up the book and putting it in the correct position, since it was upside down. “It’s better this way, don't you think?”

Donna closed her eye, embarrassed and nervous for not knowing how to pretend. She could never do it, not with you.

“Fine, (Y/N), you got me,” she said crossing her arms, defensively.

“What's wrong? What are you thinking about? You've been really weird all day,” you said, sitting on her lap and cupping her face with your hands.

“Well, I...” Donna said, clearing her throat and grabbing your body so it wouldn't slip. “I was thinking about the conversation we had last night.”

You raised your eyebrows and nodded slowly.

“Were you? And what do you think?” You asked, leaving the irony and mockery for another time.

“I think... Well, maybe it's not a bad idea, I mean, I was wondering if...” She stammered, making a superhuman effort to avoid your bright eyes excited by the proposal.

“Do you want to do it?” You asked directly. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to say something, but she regretted it at the last moment. “You don't have to, Donna.”

“But I want... I want to do it, I want... I want to feel you... Inside, inside of me,” she said with a frown, protesting for your passivity. You suppressed a smile, placing a slow kiss on her lips to silence the voices of her shame.

“It's okay,” you said nonchalantly, standing up and offering her your hand. She took it after a moment of hesitation. “Don't worry, I promise you'll like it.”

The walk to the bedroom was calm, silent. There weren't those outbursts of passion that made your bodies dance next to a wall. There were no pauses, no kisses, no anxious gasps. There was only her hand holding yours tightly, evidencing the desire and the nerves that Donna felt.

“Right…. Let's get rid of this...” You said amused, unbuttoning her dress, an action that was interrupted by her hand on your wrist and a cold gaze fixed on yours.

“I see you're impatient,” the lady in black whispered, relaxing her breathing before releasing you to continue.

“Just because you were the one reading a book upside down doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about those things, darling,” you said in a seductive tone.

“You're always thinking about the same things,” Donna scolded you, smiling to make you see that she wasn't upset at all.

You shrugged, separating the two parts of her dress to reveal the shiny skin of her bare chest, while your lips kissed hers slowly, slower than other times, letting your lover enjoy the situation even more. This was going to be for her, she deserved it, and you wanted it to be special.

She brought her arms to your waist, deepening her kiss, bringing your bodies together so that they began to share their heat with each other. The fact that your minds had been wandering on that matter all day was quite obvious. The sudden gasps and involuntary movements of your hips only made it more evident.

“Ugh, Donna, I don't know who's the impatient one now...” You whispered, amused, when her black dress disappeared, crashing to the floor and revealing an incipient and noticeable bulge in her underwear.

“You’ve caused this...” The lady in black whispered back playing with her hands on the ties of your dress, making it meet hers on the old wooden floor.

You laughed in amusement, traveling to her neck, a mischievous hand running over her erection through her clothing, making Donna moan instantly.

“Lie down, Donna,” you ordered, separating yourself a bit, making her moan at the loss of contact.

She nodded when your breasts were exposed and you, wanting to see how her underwear was no longer able to hide her arousal, ran a hand gently over your chest while you bit your lip, following the brunette with your gaze, who obeyed after a few moments of admiring your body.

You followed her, gently climbing up her body, kissing her belly, the hem of her underwear, leaving the best aside and playing with your lover climbing back up on her to free Donna of her bra.

Donna gently pulled you so your kisses returned to her mouth, so your bodies danced together, rubbed together, so the friction continued where she needed it most.

Her hands, pale and more outgoing, acted on their behalf, gently squeezing one of your nipples between her fingers, then another. You gasped and closed your eyes at the sensation. You had to fight your own instincts, against the sudden desire to release her erection and position it at your already wet entrance.

With a resigned sigh, you pulled away slightly, positioning your body lower than usual, running your hands around, framing her trembling figure with your caresses before your fingers hooked on the hem of her underwear, gently pulling it down, letting out her arousal, her trembling and hard length. She was always so sensitive... To think that she could be like this with a simple caress or a furtive whisper in her ear drove you crazy.

“Why? Why do you stop?” She asked, confused by your lack of kisses, of movements. You smiled tenderly, kissing one of her thighs as you got rid of the cloth you had left.

“Donna, I want to be sure that this is what you want,” you whispered into her skin, planting small kisses around the lower part of her belly, stopping for a moment to study her gaze, without letting your caresses deviate from the path they had chosen, circling her penis and stroking it painfully slowly with your fingers.

“Yes, that's what I want,” she moaned at your soft up and down movements, at the sight of your hand gently grabbing her length, staying at the tip and making her tremble with pleasure. “I want to feel the same as you…”

You laughed and climbed up her hips again, replacing your hand with your wetness rubbing against her erection, away from your entrance, just brushing against each other as you got closer to her mouth, while you covered her with kisses again.

“Relax, Donna... I haven't even started yet...” You whispered amusedly in her ear, biting the lobe and, instead of relaxing the movements of her hips, you made them worse, making the brunette gasp anxiously, also trying to suppress her own desire.

“Just, just... Be gentle, please...” Donna begged, moving your head away from her neck, from the kisses that slowly descended to her breasts. You laughed against her skin and nodded heartily, moving your finger in circles around her belly, thinking how you could distract her from her nerves, ones that reminded you dangerously of the ones of her first time. .

“Don't worry, let yourself go and relax, if you don't, it will be impossible...” You said in an understanding tone, running the palm of your hand over her chest while your body rested on one of her legs to silence your own burning heat and the temptation to lose control.

“Okay, okay...” She said, closing her eyes and approaching to kiss you again, to calm down with your loving, tender and innocent lips. Well, almost innocent. “Sorry, I'm nervous.”

“Don't be sorry... I'll make sure you stop being so,” you said with a mischievous look on your face, giving her one last kiss, gently pulling her lower lip before kissing her chin, her neck…

She nodded, placing a hand on your head as your kisses moistened every part of her skin, as your tongue gently ran over her nipples, staying there for a while as your hands gently squeezed her breasts, knowing that was enough to make her stop worrying, at least, to worry that much.

Your next step was to continue going down, continue licking, kissing every part of her body. Laughing mischievously, you grabbed her erection again, placing a soft kiss on the tip that made her gasp in surprise.

Her reaction only served to make your kisses continue along it. They weren't dirty kisses, nor shameless licks, they were small touches with your lips, as if warning of what was to come, that your mouth had found the place where it wanted to be.

You looked at her for a moment, confirming that everything was okay. Her teeth were clenched at your actions and her hands pulled at the sheets tightly. Her hips rose towards your face, begging for your lips to continue burning her skin.

You didn't want to wait. You positioned yourself in a more comfortable position before slowly introducing her penis into your mouth, with a slow movement, with the bitter taste of her arousal on your tongue, with the shine caused by your saliva joining the one that her own body had caused.

“(Y/N)...” Donna moaned at your slow movements, at the sounds that filled the room with lust. “Your mouth is…”

“Shhh, don't talk, Donna, just let me relax you,” you scolded, joining your hand in the fun, matching the movements of your mouth with soft caresses, careful not to excite her too much, not to excite you too much.

When the only thing that came out of her mouth was just moans, and your movements on her stabilized along with the caresses of your hand, you knew it was time. Her body was no longer so tense.

Giving another soft kiss to the tip, you climbed back up to her lips, which received yours with a hungry mess, her hips begging to have you so close to her again, for your mouth to return to hers.

“You're so good, Donna...” You whispered lovingly, caressing her cheek, calming her with your words so she wouldn't get carried away by the pleasure of your movements. “You're so good, so beautiful... Come on, darling...” You said with an even softer voice. “Let me please you.”

She nodded, grabbing your hand with one of hers, sweaty, nervous and terribly overwhelmed by pleasure. Your hand on her cheek moved slowly, until two of your fingers passed over her lips under her curious gaze.

“(Y/N),” she murmured, looking at you with a mixture of curiosity and desire, letting your body continue rubbing discreetly against hers. “Please…”

You nodded, placing a kiss on her neck before slowly introducing your fingers into her mouth, letting her lick them, coating them with her saliva. The sensation was incredible and it sent hundreds of electrical currents through your body.

You pulled your fingers out slowly, enjoying the glow they now had. Afterwards, you continued with the bath of kisses from which her torso had not yet recovered. Her breathing became agitated, knowing what that gesture implied, but, before her nerves ended the passion, your mouth surrounded her erection again, slowly going down as far as you were capable. Donna was big, although that embarrassed her, and besides, your hot, lustful kisses only made it worse.

Your hand wandered aimlessly for a few moments, checking the rhythm of her moans, watching your naughty licks and the speed with which you moved.

You stopped kissing her for a moment, a moment you used to check that Donna was too excited to think about what came next. Smiling at the ease with which you were able to make her forget about her fears, you moved her body, lifting her hips slightly and spreading her legs, just a little more.

Your hand traveled along her inner thigh, avoiding those areas that Donna hated you touching, or rather, she hated that the mere act of touching them made her lose control. Gently, your caresses, your fingers reached that place, the most intimate area of ​​your lover, caressing it with curiosity, moistening it with your fingers.

Donna twitched at the unexpected contact, but she soon relaxed, enjoying the wet feeling of your fingers in such a forbidden place. You smiled when you saw that, instead of getting uncomfortable, she seemed to get more excited, not showing any signs of discomfort when, slowly, you introduced the tip of one of your fingers while with the other hand, you continued massaging her penis up and down.

You moaned as you felt the warmth of her body surrounding you, as you felt how the moisture allowed your finger to slide easily, to squeeze into her tiny hole while her shy moans urged you to continue.

“Do you like it, darling?” You asked, moving little by little, playing with your finger, curving it, making her body adapt to it. Donna couldn't look at you, she didn't dare to, but she nodded after a gasp as she felt a second finger inside her, stretching her more.

“Yes, I... I, I feel you so much... It's, it's... It feels good...” The lady said with a whisper, moving so your fingers dared to slide further before she began to move slowly.

“I'm glad to hear it, just relax and enjoy, Donna... This is for you...” You whispered mischievously, moving uncomfortably, squeezing your thighs tightly to silence the tremors of your wetness, which claimed its part in that lustful action.

When her body became accustomed enough, you were able to maintain a steady, slow pace, without hurting, without rushing, letting all the new sensations your lover felt be as intense as possible.

Biting your lip as you heard her moans, much more intense than usual, you couldn't help but kiss her erection again running your tongue over it and putting it back in your mouth.

Her movements and moans increased, almost writhing beneath you. Your fingers penetrated her slowly, carefully and with all the affection you were capable of, but your mouth... Your mouth was wild and insatiable. It adored the taste of her, the sensation of having her inside of it, hard and shiny with excitement.

“I feel you so much... I feel you inside of me,” the brunette moaned, daring to open her eye to admire the sight in front of her. Your movements increased in speed and you could feel her release already almost filling your mouth. But no, not yet. She was not yet able to feel the same thing as you, the same thing that she didn’t know about and you were willing to show her.

“Why do you stop?” Donna asked as your fingers left her and your mouth separated from her trembling length. You really enjoyed seeing the disappointment in her eyes. “I was, I was about to…”

“I know,” you said, climbing up her body, kissing her so she could feel her arousal in her mouth, silencing her protests. “Did you like that?”

Her breathing was labored and her teeth bit her lower lip from the loss of contact, from the frustration of not being able to release. She nodded hurriedly, kissing you more intensely.

“Do you want to feel it even more?” You asked in her ear, brushing her erection again with your entrance in a playful way. You tried not to make too intense movements at that point, you knew how close she was.

“More? How, how  could you…? It felt... It felt so good, (Y/N)... Do it again, please...” Donna begged with a lustful growl, leaving her shyness aside thinking about how that pleasant and new feeling could be even better.

“Wait, I'm going to look for something,” you said, kissing her cheek quickly and leaving the heat of her body  with a surprised and annoyed look from Lady Beneviento.

“What are you doing? Come back, come back, please... Don't leave me like this,” The lady said desperately, kneeling on the bed and reaching out with her hand to stop you, failing due to a graceful dodging movement of your body. “(Y/N)! Come back, per favore!” She shouted, now with a darker, demanding tone.

You rolled your eyes as you searched your closet for something, something you brought into the house when you moved in, something you thought you'd never use again.

“Patience, Donna...” You purred, approaching the bed again with that strange object in your hand. Her breathing and her almost hateful gaze relaxed almost instantly, running her eye over those straps, that silicone object that seemed strange to her.

“What, what is that?” She asked with a cold look, watching how you tied it to your hips.

“Well, it seems pretty obvious, don't you think?” You joked, running a hand over her chest, kissing her neck slowly, laying her down on the bed again. “If it's too much for you, I...”

“Are you going to take me with that?” She asked again, not being able to help but look down at the small toy that was now hanging from your waist. “It… It…”

“You're bigger, Donna, and I'm not complaining,” you joked, making a shy smile light up her face, making her breathing relax again. “It’s okay if you don't want to. I understand.”

“No, I...” She said, thinking about her options, preventing you from sliding away from her again. “I'll be able to feel you more, right? I'll be able to really feel you inside of me,” she murmured, you didn't know if for herself or for you. It looked more like an internal dialogue.

“Yes, well, it would be more similar to what I feel,” you said, with a playful look, with the area between your legs already completely covered by your wet arousal.

Patience, (Y/N), you will soon have your release, you thought, leaning down to kiss Donna lovingly, understandingly as she explored the silicone object with her hands, satisfied by the softness of it.

“Please, be...” Donna said, closing her eye to give you her silent approval with a nod of her head.

“I'll be gentle, I promise, my love,” you interrupted, moving away and gently turning the brunette over, making her face away from you. “If you feel uncomfortable, or if I hurt you, please tell me,” you whispered in her ear, to which she nodded, as if she didn't want to know anything else, as if she was just waiting to feel the pleasure you gave her again.

Carefully, and studying the trembling of her body, matching her still very present erection, you raised her hips, making the upper part of her body lean downward, resting her head on the pillow, or rather, burying it in to hide the shame she felt at exposing her body like that.

You caressed her back kissing it affectionately, then her legs, her thighs, before taking out a small bottle of lubricant and spreading it on your fingers, making them return to that forbidden place, making Donna startle from the cold of that strange liquid.

“What's that? What are you doing to me?” She asked worried, nervous about not being able to see your actions. You laughed, soaking the area, spreading the liquid over the silicone as well before leaning down to be level with her cheek.

“Shhh, relax, Donna. This is to make it easier...” You whispered before returning to your actions, before reintroducing two fingers and stretching her body again. “You see? Does it feel good?”

She moaned in response, her hips bucking again at the sensation she craved so much.

“That's it... Enjoy, my love... And tell me to stop if I’m hurting you,” you whispered, positioning her body better so the tip of the small dildo coincided with her tiny hole, pressing on it lightly, making the moans more intense.

Slowly and carefully, you introduced the tip, letting Donna get used to it, controlling the trembling of her body burning with desire with soft caresses on her legs, on her back.

“(Y/N)... It's… It's… Oh, more please…” Donna said in an embarrassing way, in a way that she would regret later, as always happened. She didn't usually say those things unless she was deeply blinded by passion.

“Fine,” you said tenderly, entering a bit further, feeling how her body stretched around the silicone, how it adapted to that intruder and how she wanted to take it.

As her body adjusted and Donna's moans became eager, consumed with pleasure, you knew it was time to move, slowly, letting the sensation be pleasurable and non-invasive.

“You take it very well, Donna... Do you feel me inside of you?” You asked, heated by your actions, gently moving your hips, following the desperate rhythm of hers.

“Yes, I feel you... I feel you... I feel full of you, (Y/N), and it's... It's wonderful,” the lady moaned, raising her body a bit and asking you for more speed, which you accepted by grabbing her hips and moving with a more stable rhythm.

Your movements became uncontrolled soon, also due to the pleasure you felt when taking her that way, to the fact that you were the one causing those moans, to the fact that in some way, she felt you inside of her, she felt that which she could never feel because of the whim of Cadou on her body.

“You're perfect, Donna... Perfect for me...” You whispered, letting yourself be carried away by the pleasure, moving your hips to the rhythm of her moans, staying inside of her for a few moments before moving again.

“(Y/N), I think, I think I'm going to...” She murmured after a surprised moan, perhaps due to her body's reaction to being that way, to being taken that way.

“That's it, Donna... Let yourself go... Release yourself, my love, release with me inside of you...” you said, giving her a soft spank, to which she responded with a shy laugh.

“I can't hold on, I... I want, I need...” Donna stammered, suddenly staying still, her body tense and trembling while her release left her body with a guttural moan.

“I think you liked it,” you said, slowly getting out of her and undoing the straps before she turned around and kissed you, grateful for that experience.

“I loved it, (Y/N)... I felt you so... so inside of me...” She said embarrassed, trying to vent her excitement with kisses, to which you laughed, amused and pleased.

“Well, I'm glad, but...” You said, feigning a bit of indifference and impatience.

“But?” She asked hurriedly, sitting on the bed and avoiding looking at the mess she had made on the sheets.

“I'm afraid you'll have to return the favor...” You purred, throwing yourself on top of her, your legs on either side of her waist. She laughed amused, shaking her head.

“Give me a break, (Y/N), I just...” Donna said, being interrupted by a finger on her lips and an almost threatening look from you.

“Don't worry, leave it to me,” you said seductively, returning to the path of kisses on her body, going lower and lower.

A few moments later...

A hot bath was the perfect end to that afternoon full of passion and discoveries. After she filled you as always, after she calmed the ardor of your desires, you were relaxed, enjoying a romantic moment, a hot bath together.

“You're very quiet,” you said, leaning against her body under the water.

“Yes, I... I was thinking about how good you made me feel,” Donna said, affectionately. “I love you, (Y/N).”

“Oh, me too...” You said in a cheesy voice, turning around to kiss her, your legs tangled under the water and steam. “Well, if you want we can repeat it tomorrow.”

“Oh, well,” she said hurriedly, with a strange grimace. “No, it's not necessary, (Y/N)... I just...”

“You just? You didn’t like it?” You asked curiously, afraid that she had lied and the moans you heard were not of pleasure.

“Yes, I really liked it. But, the most important thing is how you have made me feel,” she explained, dispelling the shadow of doubt.

“Mmm, explain yourself,” you said amused, feeling that it was another of the occasions in which her shyness prevented her from speaking clearly.

“After all this time I... I felt like you were mine,” she began, lowering the tone of her voice, caressing you tenderly. “And, for, for the first time I have felt… I have felt that I’m yours…”

[icyg4l]

Pick-A-Meme: How Can I Choose The Right Career Path for Me?

Choose the image that resonates the most with you. In this reading, I will give you details that you can use to get closer to accomplishing to your career goals. I will also give those clarity to those who are confused on where to go from here with the help of the True Heart tarot deck.

Left-to-Right (1-3): Raven Baxter, Brenda Meeks, Kim Parker.

Cards Used: 10 of Cups. The World (RX). Judgment. Knight of Cups. Wheel of Fortune. The Hierophant. 4 of Pents.

Pile 1A: I feel like this is for those who are thinking of going into the traditional career paths like being a nurse, a teacher, a lawyer or doctor. You are very determined when it comes to breaking into this career path. I feel like this is a dream that you’ve had for a long time, since you were a child. But you’ve grown up and you see just how practical this career path is or how much time it would take from all other aspects. Don’t let the money or the amount of time it takes to pursue this career stop you! There will be opportunities that come up for you as you pursue this path that will financially support you. I also see that you’ll receive some recognition early on in your career, for your contributions to this field.

Cards Used: The Moon. 3 of Pents (RX). Strength. Queen of Cups. Ace of Cups. The Hanged Man. Ace of Wands (RX). Queen of Pents. Ace of Swords.

Pile 1B: For those of you that are confused about what career path you should pursue, I say that you should consider some “niche” career paths; something that sticks out to YOU. This will ensure that you’re using your energy towards things that you love. I get the feeling that you’re tired of what you’re being presented with. These are the people that are tired of receiving rejection emails from employers or being ghosted by interviewers. I feel like you’re kind of nosy… perhaps you should consider a career as a private investigator. You have a sharp mind and you call bullshit when you see it. I also think that you should consider something to do with childcare, maybe take up the jobs that nobody wants to take up? If you’re into pets, you should take up the pet care. I feel like this is also the pile that should consider going to trade school to become an electrician or plumber. You would actually benefit from it & would meet some excellent people along the way. Everyone isn’t be a tech geek, a rapper or an aspiring designer and that’s absolutely fine! You got this!

extras: annalise keating. bedtime stories. human design. timestamp. first wives club. worker bees. social justice reform. politics. class action lawsuit. science geek.

Cards Used: The Emperor. 6 of Cups (RX). 2 of Pents. Ace of Wands. The Hierophant. 7 of Pents (RX).

Pile 2A: The people who chose this pile are currently fed up with their career path. I think that you have dedicated so much time to this career path that it has you burnt out. You may be considering switching career paths or adding a new element to your career path. You should! I thought of the storyline from ‘This is Us’ where Beth takes the risk to open up a dance studio after being fired from her job. Her original passion was ballet but her mother forced her into a practical career. She became an urban planner. She had the job for twelve years and loved it but she unfortunately got laid off. I feel like this collective has some resentment towards their career because it’s not what you want to do. What do you really want to do? Examine what really makes you light up. If you decide that you want to have a side gig doing what it is you really want to do, then have at it! But if you decide to start fresh in a “new” (but not really new to you) career path, then also have at it! The ball is in your corner.

Cards Used: 10 of Cups. 3 of Cups. 9 of Cups. Justice. 6 of Swords. The Hermit. The Fool. Prince of Cups.

Pile 2B: If you’ve been considering going into a business with a friend, you should absolutely do it! I saw the banner of a restaurant opening. I feel like this pile is really into the traditionally ‘girly’ things like doing your nails or hair. If this resonates then you should definitely take up cosmetology school. If that’s not what you’re into, consider going to school to become a masseuse or get into holistic medicine! You have a calming aura and people probably open up to you easily. But I get the feeling that you guys don’t always like to talk to people. You enjoy your solitude/quiet time & that’s okay. For those of you that are into poetry, you should consider posting your poems for monetary gain for extra money! In due time, you’ll figure it out. Be patient with yourself, you’ll know what sticks!

extras: aching feet. balloons. graveyard. black jeans. venus in the 11th house. aquarius venus. gemini venus. losing hair ties. the color purple. spoken word. friendship breakup.

Cards Used: King of Swords. 2 of Pents. The Hierophant (RX). Queen of Pents. The High Priestess. The Emperor. 5 of Cups.

Pile 3A: You guys are the people who long to be the boss. You guys strive for greatness & hold yourself to a certain standard. But I think that you’re doing a lot. You’re trying to do everything by yourself and you need some help. This could be a pile full of freelancers, psychics, therapists or entrepreneurs. Perhaps you’ve opened up a new business and everything just feels like it’s falling on top of you. You need an assistant to keep this business running! Hire someone that will keep you on top of your stuff. I think that you should try a new method of organization as well. Maybe you’re a model? If so, take some new headshots. Get some help with your portfolio. Update your resume. Create some new material because you’ve come so far. You really just need to be more proactive when it comes to your career; get on top of things quicker.

Cards Used: The Lovers. 3 of Swords. 5 of Swords. Queen of Swords. 3 of Cups. 9 of Cups (RX). 7 of Cups.

Pile 3B: This is the pile for those that are “inexperienced” but know that they’re going to be in their career field. I don’t think that you are clueless as to what you want to do. You know exactly what you want to do, you just don’t think you fit the criteria. When in reality, you’re rejecting yourself before someone else rejects you. Stop counting yourself out man. I think you want to pursue a career as a model, a baker, an influencer perhaps? I think you have some childhood wounds surrounding your social circle. You were viewed as an outcast and this is why you feel stuck. You know you’re going to be somebody but you need to start acting like it. I think that the route you want to take requires you to be in the spotlight. There is an audience for you but you refuse to put yourself out there. I think the best way for you to get over this is to challenge yourself. Create small tasks that will help you get out of your comfort zone. Therapists would call this rejection therapy. Try it!

extra: ANTM theme song. ADHD meds. kendrick lamar. “simultaneously”. influence. impostor syndrome. what was i made for? gymnast. athlete. being the only non-white person in the room. fitness model. green grass walls.

[lohotine]

Request: can you make White lily as shadow milk cookie and Fem!reader as a loyal servant to White lily

Pure vanilla,hollyberry,golden cheese and Dark cacao is gonna see this and Say NNNNOOOOO!!!(ded💀)

AN: When you say White Lily as Shadow Milk, I think you're talking about like.. possession? So like, shadow milk is using White Lily's body? If this isn't what you meant, I'm sorry 🙏 If you want, you can request again and ill work on another one. Um but.. I think I did an okay job... enjoy ☆

White Lily as Shadow Milk Cookie x Fem! Servant

Oneshot (headcanons below)

Warnings: Def not canon, slight remarks of possessiveness

-Devotion-

The purist white hair, a dedicated heart, and the feint smell of Liles. Those were the feature of the person before you. This person should have been her; One of the Ancient Heros, and yet, that was not the case. This was somebody else... A certain blue jester of decite.

You knew this, and yet you still followed them so willingly, and so blindly. Was it because of the promise to rule the world... or was it for some other reason?

"Oh button, are you ready?" The person would ask.

White Lily was known for her violet eyes, the ones that held a passion for protecting all of cookie kind. This person was lacking that, though.

These eyes were an electric and sky blue, and the only things behind them was the hope to see the world burn.

And, it was in that moment that you finally realized why you would follow Shadow Milk like this.

It was because of the way he could make your heart flutter, like no other person had been able to.

"I am," You'd respond while taking White Lily's hand.

The cookie would smile at you with that crazed expression before appearing on a stage with you.

"I know that all of you have been waiting to see the star of the show, and here I am at last!"

White Lily would do a bow dedicated towards the audience.

That audience being the four other Ancient Heros.

Discussion between the others would begin to stir. Some were filled with feat, other hate, and a few, utter confusion.

Pure Vanilla knew who was on stage instantly, and he would look at you with a concerned look. "That person is not White Liliy," He'd explain.

Of course, you were already aware of this.

"Oh dearest dove-" White Lily would say while taking your hand.

"Are you ready to test your devotion?"

《☆》 Fin

Headcanons

You were originally loyal to White Lily

And you noticed the change in behavior and eye color immediately

He saw something special in you and decided to keep you around

Was very glad he did because you're amazing!

Calls you things like dove, doll, button, dear, devotee

Probably likes to dance with you

Like, box steps and things like that

You have to listen to his rants about the other ancients

Hated P.V in particular

100% manipulates you

Uses sweet talk to get what he wants

Will complain if you don't play dolls with him

The ancients have to lose.

[ficsbyuzi]

All the ways lead to you - part 1

Characters: Aemond Targaryen, Inara Maegyr (Original female character) in a Modern HOTD AU

Warnings : FICTIONAL PLOTLINE. Established relationship. Me swooning over Aemond Targaryen and writing this🤭 Inara being a sweet and awesome girl.

Note: This post and that a mutual of mine (@/elegantsplendour) remarked that this fic series has 'Succession' vibes. I wasn't aware of the show when I wrote this last year, and I still haven't watched it. Any resemblance to its plot is purely coincidental. Everything that is going to be re-posted here, comes from my delulu mind.

Inara's thoughts and a little background about her are in italics.

Word count - 1.2k

"You know me, mom, I can't just start working in some random hospital as a junior doctor," Inara spoke to her mother on phone, cradling it between her ear and shoulder as she watered her kitchen plants on a Saturday afternoon, “I am trying to find a job where I can practice both medicine and my art.”

"Where on earth will you find such a job, Inara?" Her mom questioned disapprovingly. "You will soon be a licensed doctor and able to practice medicine. You should start with a clinician job and save up for your MD tuition."

"Let me at least try, Mum. Maybe I can join some makeup manufacturing labs or intern with those big-shot skincare providers."

Inara heard her mom sigh and tut in response to her plans, a reaction she was quite used to by now. Yet, the conviction in her voice didn't falter as she continued, "I will definitely enroll in an MD program. Don't worry.”

As long as Inara could remember, she had always loved makeup. Even as a child, she would rummage through her mom's makeup kits and spend hours in front of the mirror, painting her own face and sometimes her mother's.

Her parents always wished to see her in the white coat of a doctor - a dream she shared with them. Cracking the medical entrance exams straight out of high school was a cakewalk, her sharp intellect paving the way for her.

Despite plenty of medical schools in Essos, the allure of studying abroad was too strong and liberating. The prestige of the renowned Citadel Medical School in Westeros had captured her attention long ago, and securing a seat there felt like destiny fulfilled.

While medical school required her to focus entirely on classes and books, her creative side yearned for exploration. Her love for makeup never faded, and after dedicating half her life to studying, she decided to follow her heart. A heart that always danced between two worlds, two passions, yearning to embrace both simultaneously.

As soon as she adjusted to her new life on a foreign land, she enrolled into a weekend certification course near her medical school. And, thus began her journey towards becoming a rare combination of a licensed medical practitioner and a trained makeup artist.

Days blurred into nights as she balanced the demands of medical studies with the pursuit of her passion.

Six years flew by in a whirlwind of learning and she was now nearing the end of her curriculum. After the sixth and last month of her hospital training and formal graduation, she would be a licensed medical practitioner. Thanks to her dedication to both medicine and makeup, she now stood as a certified makeup artist, with an expertise in skin care and prosthetics.

After freelancing a bridal makeup assignment a couple of months ago, she decided to take a detour from a predictable route towards advanced degrees or clinical positions straight after college. She planned to give herself a year of exploration into other career options before enrolling into an MD in Dermatology. And so she made up her mind on freelancing or finding a job that could extend her stay in Westeros, thereby allowing her to save up for her MD.

"Anyway, you've been so busy with everything else, you haven't even thought about finding someone. You're not getting any younger!" Her mom steered the course of the conversation to the topic she dreaded the most.

Oh boy, here it comes!

The inevitable discussion about her biological clock and society's expectations for single women was about to begin.

"Mom, please, I'm twenty four, not forty four!"

"Yes, and about time you started thinking of settling down!"

Rolling her eyes, Inara let out a sharp sigh.

"I have chores to do, mum. I gotta go," she cut the conversation short, trying her best to hide her rising impatience, “Bye! Love you!”

"Fine, But please think about what I said. Love you. ”

After ending the call, Inara continued staring at her phone's home screen. Smiling faces of her family stared back.

Her mom’s words still lingered in her mind, as she made herself a cup of chamomile tea and settled herself infront of her laptop.

She sipped her tea, smiling and recalling her mom's statement about doing tons of different things at a time. She had always loved to hustle. And, she loved how chimeric her career goals were. It wasn't an easy road, but she was determined to make it work somehow. Career satisfaction had always been her first priority; finding someone to date or marry, wasn't.

Inara's attention snapped back to her laptop screen, her eyes widening as she noticed the fourth and fifth unread emails from the top. Both arrived around the same time from the job search website she had signed up for.

The subject of the first email read:

Requirement of an assistant make-up artist on an upcoming TV Show.

The second one read:

Requirement of a physician / medical officer(s) on a TV production.

Universe works in the strangest of ways. All you have to do is ask.

She quickly opened both emails in separate tabs. They were from the human resources department of a television production house in King’s Landing. A period drama based on mythological history was in pre-production, and the HR team was hiring people on contract basis.

As someone who rarely watched television,or movies, she chuckled at the thought of working on a TV production house. Nevertheless, she decided to give it a try. With a few quick clicks, she accessed the links for both the positions and uploaded her resume. As she crafted cover letters for each position, wishful thoughts surfaced again. She let out another exhilarating chuckle, as a wave of nervous excitement crawled down her spine.

How fun and cool it would be, if I could somehow do both the jobs simultaneously.

-

A week later, as Inara was on her way home from the hospital where she interned, her phone rang. Seeing a number with the King’s Landing code, she gasped.

With her heart alight with anticipation, she answered the call. Clearing her throat, she adopted her sweetest and most professional tone before greeting the caller.

"Hi, Dr. Maegyr, this is Stannis calling from the HR department at Red Keep Productions. We've shortlisted your resume for the opening we posted about. Will you be available for an interview next week?"

"Hello, Mr. Stannis. Sure, I...I will be available!" She tried her best to mask the excitement in her voice. "Uh, I applied for two positions. May I know which one I have been shortlisted for?"

"Dr. Maegyr, your profile is one of the most interesting we've received so far. You have been called to interview for both positions. I can't say with certainty right now if you'll be hired for one or both roles as that will be decided based on your performance in the interviews." She could sense his smile through the phone.

"Thank you," she mouthed, looking up, her amber eyes sparkling with gratitude.

---x----

Part 2

[hardwriterdeluxe]

BuildTech

Emily, a determined and hardworking college student, found herself in a constant struggle to make ends meet. With mounting bills and the pressure of rent looming over her, she embarked on a relentless job search to secure a source of income.

One day, as she scrolled through countless job listings online, a particular advertisement caught her attention. It read, "Exciting Opportunity at BuildTech: Join our Dynamic Team!" Intrigued by the promise of excitement, Emily clicked on the ad to learn more.

The BuildTech website showcased a vibrant and innovative company, known for its groundbreaking projects and commitment to excellence. As Emily delved deeper into the company's mission and values, she couldn't help but feel drawn towards the company and this empty position. Emily decided to take a chance and submit her application. She carefully crafted her cover letter and updated her resume to highlight her skills like her leadership or strong mind and determination. With a glimmer of hope, she pressed the "Submit" button, eagerly anticipating a response.

Days turned into weeks, and Emily's anticipation grew with each passing moment. Doubts and worries began to creep into her mind, questioning whether she was qualified or if she would ever find a job that could alleviate her financial burdens.

Just as she was starting to lose hope, an email notification appeared in her inbox. Her heart raced as she clicked on the message, revealing an invitation for an interview at BuildTech. The excitement and relief she felt were palpable.

Emily meticulously prepared for the interview, researching the company's projects and familiarizing herself with the construction industry. Dressed in her best professional attire, she arrived at the impressive office building that housed BuildTech, her determination unwavering.

As she stepped into the sleek and modern reception area, the ambiance exuded an air of professionalism and ambition. The receptionist, Sarah, greeted her warmly and directed her to the interview room. Emily couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation and nervous energy as she entered the room.

Sitting across from Mike, the manager of BuildTech, Emily was immediately struck by his friendly demeanor and genuine interest in her. The interview commenced, with Mike delving into her background, skills, and aspirations. He sought to understand her motivations and determine if she would be a good fit for the company's dynamic team.

Throughout the interview, Emily's passion and dedication shone through. She expressed her desire to contribute to meaningful projects and make a difference in the world. Mike, impressed by her enthusiasm and genuine nature, saw great potential in her.

As the interview came to a close, Mike leaned forward with a smile on his face. He extended his hand and offered Emily the position at BuildTech, citing her determination and alignment with the company's values. Emily's heart swelled with gratitude and excitement. Finally, a breakthrough had come her way.

If she only knew that the company just hired men…

Ecstatic about her new job at BuildTech, Emily eagerly awaited her first day of work.

The day arrived, and Emily arrived at the BuildTech headquarters with a mix of nerves and anticipation. She was greeted by Sarah, the friendly receptionist she had met during her interview. Sarah handed her a set of documents to fill out and explained the basics of the company's policies and procedures. Emily, so caught up in small talk, didn't even realize she signed the documents confirming her work profile to be updated as male and her work position being a construction worker not a second assistant.

After completing the paperwork, Sarah led Emily down a long corridor towards the employee facilities. As they walked, Emily couldn't help but notice that everyone she passed in the corridor was male. It seemed odd to her, but she brushed it off, assuming it was just a coincidence. 

Sarah stopped in front of a door labeled "Employee Dressing Room." She explained that Emily would find her uniform inside and instructed her to change into it before joining the rest of the team on the construction site. Emily thought to herself “wait wasn't my position second assistant, why do i need a construction uniform.” but she brushed it off again as a small misunderstanding. Emily stepped inside the dressing room. 

To her surprise, the dressing room was unlike any she had ever seen. It was a sleek, futuristic space with walls adorned by mirrors and high-tech displays. Emily's reflection stared back at her, a mix of excitement and curiosity in her eyes.

In the center of the room, there was a platform illuminated by soft, glowing lights. A voice echoed from the speakers, its tone soothing yet authoritative. "Welcome, Emily, to BuildTech's Gender-Conforming Dressing Room. Please step onto the platform for scanning and outfit customization."

Curiosity overcoming her, Emily complied and positioned herself on the platform. As she stood there, the room's lights brightened, casting a gentle glow around her. A series of scanning beams enveloped her body, analyzing her physical features and detecting any inconsistencies.

To her shock the bright lights turned red, the AI system detected that Emily's assigned gender did not match her work profile. The robotic arms in the room sprang into action, undressing her. Emily felt a mix of confusion and vulnerability as the arms swiftly removed her clothing.

The next moment, the robotic arms approached her and grabbed her so they could correct her. they began spraying Emily in a thin clear coating, each movement molding the spray to her body. Emily felt a tingling sensation, almost as if her very essence was being reshaped.

First up was her legs as the skin-like suit adheard to her bones and molded them her calves grew pushing her from her ordinary 5’6 to a a 5’7. Her legs continued to mold and gained muscle mass on top of muscle mass and next up was her feet, her feet grew so much that she looked out of proportion, she now sported real man's feet and it continued with her thighs giving her juicy big thighs matching her now changed legs and feet. Before the transformation moved forward it blessed her legs and feet with a generous amount of hair and also gave her bad boy feet a rank stench so powerful she needed to cover them up daily. The molding continued and moved upwards the changes barely touched her bouncy butt, the spray just molded her feminine curves into the strong masculine side making her butt fuller and firmer. 

The magic of the spray went on to continue and gave her torso a great gift. Her torso fat melted into string and hard abs and her female gender became male with the dick growing hard and big, to complete her downstairs or well his downstairs the changes gave him a full treasure line with hair his once female breasts flattened into some rock hard pecs adorned with yet again sweaty musky body hair. 

His arms ballooned giving his once small biceps muscles. The arms extended and filled with arm hair and veins giving a strong and yet inviting look. His hands grew from a delicate soft hand into hands that could hold any dick or tool easily, these new hands were calloused and dirty from hard work and experience. Next was the armpits which grew to match the muscles and became hairy and wet sporting the same foul smell.

His physical appearance transformed before his eyes. The contours of his face shifted, becoming more angular and masculine giving him a perfect jawline and the perfect nose. His voice deepened, resonating with a newfound confidence and authority but also masculinity and toughness. 

As the transformation progressed, Emily's mind underwent a parallel change. Memories of his past life as Emily faded into the background, replaced by a new sense of self. He no longer identified as Emily but embraced his new identity as Alex, a strong and capable construction worker.

The spray completed the transformation by stretching Alex from 5’7 to 5’11. The robotic arms dressed Alex in a pair of white socks or by the looks of it almost yellow, the socks had the same smell as Alex feet explaining the odor. Next the arms dressed him in sturdy work boots that were well worn and were made of sturdy leather. Alex got put in rugged pants adorned with stains and mud and some tools, Alex also got a durable work shirt with a vest. The robot arms placed a construction worker's hard hat atop his head, symbolizing his new role within the company and sealing his new identity, and with that the world only knew Alex.

Stepping out of the dressing room, Alex felt a surge of confidence coursing through his veins. The world around him seemed to shift, as if acknowledging his new identity. Colleagues who once knew Emily now saw him as Alex, a skilled and respected member of the construction team.

As he walked among his new coworkers, Alex couldn't help but notice the subtle nods of approval and respect. He had earned his place in this traditionally male-dominated industry and was now another worker in the crowd.

[chvoswxtch]

court my luv. i’m trying to think of something, anything but all i can think that my goddess Dinah is looking at me with those beautiful brown eyes and my mind is just blank…(also i am the most non-creative person in the world)

so yeah, i’m just saying ✨Dinah Madani✨ and leaving the rest to you, darlin 💘💘

you had me at dinah

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, and know it was a struggle to not make this thirty pages 🙃

happy pride my love!!! 🏳️‍🌈 🖤

warning: dinah madani's fine ass, swearing, mentions of alcohol, allusions to spiciness word count: 1k

stood up.

The hallways of the Homeland Security headquarters were silent as you walked through them. It was late on a Thursday, already half past nine, and almost everyone had gone home hours ago except for the security guards at the front desk in the lobby. Everyone except your girlfriend, Dinah. 

It was the third time this month that she’d stood you up for your dinner plans. You knew when you first met her how dedicated she was to her job, and while you admired her passion and tenacity, it also frustrated the hell out of you sometimes, especially when you’d spent over an hour getting ready. You hadn’t shaved for nothing. But, instead of starting a fight over it, you decided to compromise. 

As you walked down the hallway from the elevators, you caught a clear view of a familiar head of dark brown curls. Dinah was hunched over her desk, her perfectly shaped dark brows pinched in pure concentration. She was so focused she didn’t even hear you approach. Standing in the doorway of her office, you took a moment just to take her in. She’d abandoned her blazer over the back of her chair most likely hours ago, leaving her in a sleeveless black blouse with a v-cut neckline, giving you a tantalizing view of her gorgeous skin, the gold pendant necklace she always wore dangling around her neck. It often annoyed you how effortlessly good she always looked.

Deciding to finally announce your presence, you lightly knocked on her open door, and Dinah’s head shot right up. Her laser focus melted into pure surprise, but there were a few hints of confusion etched onto her features.

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“You missed dinner.”

Shooting you a puzzled look, her attention shifted to her phone lingering on her desk, and as she reached for it, Dinah clicked the side button and the screen lit up showcasing the time. She muttered a ‘shit’ under her breath, also noticing a few mixed calls and texts from you. Glancing up at you with guilt shining in her espresso tinted eyes, her face fell in pure remorse.

“Baby, I’m sorry-”

“Can you put those away?”

Dinah’s dark brows furrowed slightly in perplexity as she slightly tilted her head to the side. You motioned towards the grisly crime scene photos spread across her desk with your index finger before reaching into the tote bag you were carrying to pull out a large bag of takeout you’d brought.

“Murder kind of ruins my appetite.”

Dinah’s expression shifted to one of barely concealed bewilderment when you set the takeout bag down on the edge of her desk. Her eyes shifted between the large brown paper bag and your face, staring at you silently for a moment before a faint playful smile stretched over her lips. Leaning back in her chair, she looked up at you and lifted one of her perfectly arched brows.

“I stood you up, and you brought me dinner?”

There was a hint of amusement in her alluring voice, but also an undertone of lingering guilt. Shaking your head, you pulled out a bottle of red wine and two glasses, setting them next to the takeout bag before reaching into the tote again to retrieve a candle.

“Can’t stand me up if I’m bringing the date to you. Murder, away.”

Dinah let out a genuine laugh when you made a shooing motion with your hand towards the crime scene photos on her desk. Shifting them into a single pile, she collected them and slipped them into a file, tucking it into a drawer on the left side of her desk. She gazed up at you adoringly as you turned her desk into a makeshift dinner table, taking the food dishes out of the bag and spreading them out, uncorking the wine bottle to pour each of you a generous glass, and lighting the candle you’d brought and placed in the middle of her desk. 

She reached for your arm and pulled you down to sit sideways on her lap, wrapping her arms around your waist while she leaned in to press a soft kiss to your neck, whispering into your ear.

“You’re too good to me, you know that?”

Tilting your head to the side a little to grant her more access to your sensitive skin, a faint smirk curled at the edge of your mouth.

“Oh don’t think I’m not making you earn your forgiveness later.”

You could feel Dinah grinning against your skin, nuzzling her nose along the underside of your jaw, one of her hands inching up your thigh towards the hem of your skirt.

“Why don’t you let me earn it now? I’m in the mood for dessert.”

Reaching down, you grabbed her wrist and halted her hand’s path, turning to look at her with an arched brow.

“Because dinner was at seven, and it’s now nine-thirty. You have about twenty minutes before I become a complete nightmare.”

Dinah let out a loud laugh at that, faintly shaking her head as she reached for one of the wine glasses and handed it to you.

“Alright baby girl, let’s get you fed. I’ll spread you out on my desk after.”

You nearly choked on your wine as your eyes widened, struggling to swallow before laughing.

“Dinah!”

“What?”

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“Di, your office is see-through.”

Dinah glanced between you and the glass windows of her office, taking a large sip of her wine before casually shrugging her shoulders and looking at you again.

“So?”

“Di-”

“No one’s here.”

“There are security guards-”

“In the lobby, downstairs.”

“And if someone decides to show up to get some late night work done?”

You gestured towards the elevators at the opposite end of the hallway that Dinah’s office had a straight and clear view of. She stared through the windows of her office towards the elevators, pursing her lips with a faint shrug of her shoulders.

“Then they’ll find out how much I love my girlfriend’s pussy.”

tags: @cheshirecat484 @viennangel @ameliaswife

[eueuphoriaz]

Levi's Heart (Part 2.5) - Chap 132

I initially wanted to avoid breaking down this chapter to analyse the topic of Hearts between Levi and Hange, because it is just too painful to even revisit that scene. But somehow along the way, I decided it is necessary.

This is also the first time Levi mentioned anything about Dedicating Hearts.

I did some google translation on the scriptbook? (If that is what these are called) and a few things caught my attention:-

1) Levi's reactions to Hange's decision to sacrifice herself

2) Hange's reactions to Levi's salute and "Dedicating your heart" line.

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Now, some of the translation may not be accurate. But panels 478 and 479 deserve more attention. Because there are no lines, just a lot of non-verbal expressions to depict what Levi is going through.

Panel 478- "conflicted", "narrows his eyes"

Panel 479- "being prepared", "no stop"

Just want to add for Panel 479. I am not a Japanese but the words "觉悟" has a meaning of "awakening", "understanding" or "enlightening" in Chinese. Similarly for the character ”决”, which has a meaning of "decision", "decided".

So essentially, what I can conclude for panels 478 and 479 is that Levi is feeling conflicted. He took sometime to make up his mind to not stop Hange.

The question is: why does he feel conflicted? It goes back to the issues of sacrificing lives and dedicating hearts. He realised that he has emotional attachment to Hange and he didnt want her to dedicate her heart or sacrifice her life. This is conflicting because for other deaths or sacrifices, they dont come with an emotional attachment. He will carry on with their strength and give meanings to their deaths. No personal emotions at all. All for the sake of Humanity.

But with Hange, the personal attachment is conflicting within him. Hange knows that Levi will eventually have to let her go because she knows Levi is all for the greater good. She probably also know that he will attempt to stop her based on the Unrequited Love confession (this one deserves a separate post on it's own❤️) but it is his salute and Dedicate your heart proclamation that caught her by surprise.

Panel 484 calls my attention because after Hange was caught in surprise by the salute, she gave a smile which faded away. Then she said her last words and went off.

Now, why is she surprised? I am guessing that Hange felt his feelings. Based on my previous conclusions, Dedicating your heart is a very emotional expression and Levi does not say it because it is something he wanted to avoid being attached to. He has done the salute out of formality in the past but to passionately proclaim devotion and dedication, not his way at all.

What did she felt then, that made her so surprised? I think it was the overt expression of Levi's feelings and one that is dedicated to her, that she did not expect at all. She probably can expect him to say "yes, go and do your job" or "they will all be watching and be proud of you" type of speech but to hear his deepest feelings for the first time, I think she must have felt contented.

Did Hange catch on Levi's intention with the Unrequited love confession earlier? I think that one needs a separate post but when Levi said that then, it was not a life and death situation. She probably is too preoccupied to notice what he wanted her to know. But somehow, I do have the feeling that Hange is avoiding Levi towards the end. 🤔. Probably thats why Levi saying Dedicate your heart at her last moment is his desperate way to let her know his true feelings.

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The salute

And lastly, Levi modifying that salute.

I wanted to refer to this panel because I find that gesture Reiner and Bertholdt did before they head off to battle is so meaningful, especially this is the last time they will see each other.

In this situation, both of them are committing themselves to the cause, but they also encouraged each other with personal motivation (Annie, Krista). Having each other's back and making the gesture a special one so that it seals the resolve within them before going for the final battle. I do believe that when Isayama conceptualise Levi's modified salute, he may have this in mind as well.

Besides expressing his emotions for the first time openly when he said Dedicate your Heart to Hange, he also modified the salute so that both of them can remember this moment.

Now, my take on his modified salute is that he is making an attempt to accept/ acknowledge Hange's feelings (which I think she is the one who has been avoiding after 126).

Reiner and Bertholdt - I have your back

Levi to Hange- I have your heart. I know how you feel so you dont have to avoid at all.

Now, I dont think that he did that to give Hange strength to fight because she is scared. Panels 475 and 476 mentioned that the hands shaking as warrior, her feelings of elation and being high, much like adrenaline rush. If she is in the fight/ flight mode, she would have chosen flight due to fear, but it was a conscious choice that Hange made to fight in that mode. The emotion, like many who have pointed out, that is holding her back is her personal feelings towards Levi. Levi does not need to give her any pep talk to sacrifice herself. But it was a final confession/ exchange of personal feelings between the 2 of them.

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Lastly, isnt it heartbreaking that they connect with a headgrab in ep 9, and they had to separate at the hearts in 132.

Sidetrack: I do not believe that Levi's conflicted feelings toward's Hange's death is because he is injured now and will not be able to give meaning to her death->therefore he feels sad and conflicted. Right after the plane took off, Levi continued with his goal of killing Zeke so that the Rumbling can be stopped. And he asked help from the Alliance because he is injured now. He still continued to dedicate his strength to all his fallen comrades and to the cause of Humanity but his heart is dedicated to Hange.

Sidetrack 2: I also think that it is important to note that Hange knew that Levi does not say anything about Hearts for all the years that she had known him. Therefore the first and only time he ever said it to a person, she probably knew it is a very deep and personal proclamation of emotional dedication. That's why she was surprised.

Levi's Heart [Part 1][Part 1.5][Part 2][Part 2.5][Part 3]