#shes pulling a mulder

[pdwoozi]

7.14 Theef

[well-and-true]

"This will finally be their undoing" / "I need to work, right now"

the more things change the more they stay the same... (S10 My Struggle / Home Again)

[harmonicabisexuals]

and u just know cameron still calls him 'chase' even in bed....they make me sick

[carefulfears]

“i love you. i’ve loved you for so long. you know that, too.”

[pennyserenade]

when people say fox is lana del rey coded i have to disagree and i say this as someone who loves to give men that title. he’s sexy, that is to be sure, and he IS miserable but not in the americana cherry coke older man way. he is miserable in a mitski way. he understands first love/late spring. he is i bet on losing dogs. the only lana line that works for him is “goddamn, man child / you act like a kid even though you stand six foot two” and even then its barely cutting it. because sure he does act like a kid, but it’s because he’s stuck at twelve years old, terrified and waiting for a kid sister he’ll never see again

[azure-firecracker]

The contrast between the way Mulder and Scully act whenever they have to rescue the other one from something is amazing.

Because Scully immediately goes into hyper-competent mode. Like she has A PLAN and she is going to do the plan and to hell with anyone who is going to stop her. Everything by the book about her goes away and she’s just like nope we are doing everything this way if you get in my way I will end you. I am very worried but I refuse to let my emotions influence my plan unless I am using them to scare the shit out of bad guys. I am short and full of rage and I am the only person with the smarts to pull this off. Do not stop me.

And then Mulder just like…descends into pure chaos. He will either snap and nearly kill someone or he will descend into a puddle of tears on the floor. There is very little in between. He has not slept in a week. He has not had a coherent thought beyond the need to save her. There is no plan just him racing blindly into the darkness because there is nothing in him beyond the need to get her back. And yes to hell with everyone who tries to stop him but in a way that’s tinged with so much grief and unpredictability that’s it’s just as terrifying to us as it is to the people around him.

Idk I just like the contrast.

(Also this is as of S2E6 so no spoilers please!)

[incomingalbatross]

Spearhead in Space is really funny because Liz spends her first scenes with the Brigadier so clearly believing she's stuck playing the Scully to this man's Mulder. "Oooookay, so you're a UFO-chasing conspiracy nut who's somehow got government pull" NOPE. The Brigadier is one of the most thoroughly regular people on Earth. He just happens to have discovered that his world gets invaded by aliens sometimes.

(And really, the fact that he responded to that discovery by going through government channels and getting an official Earth-defense organization set up with U.N. backing and oversight tells you a lot.)

[prokopetz]

The funny thing about being an X-Files fan is that there are the "good" monster-of-the-week episodes where Mulder's theories are insane, Scully is justifiably skeptical, and the real culprit turns out to be something neither of them expected (if, indeed, they ever learn the full truth at all), and then there are the "bad" monster-of-the-week episodes where Scully is shrill and Mulder is smug, the culprit turns out to be exactly what Mulder's zero evidence ass-pull of a theory claimed it would be, and Scully maintains her skepticism only because a series of Phineas and Ferb contrivances keep making all the evidence vanish right before she walks into the room, and everyone just politely pretends that the latter don't make up 80% of the show.

[mvlderfox]

“Mulder, listen to me. Give me the gun. We can stop this thing right now. You and I can walk outside of this room… No! Damn you! You bastard! Mulder, hand me the gu— Mulder, you don't have to do this. You're stronger than this. Mulder, fight him. You can fight this.” // “Come on. Pull the trigger, Mulder. She shot you, I read it in her files. Payback time…” // “I'm going to kill you, Modell. … Scully, run! Scully…”

[dgct2]

(MULDER looks at the kissing couples, then at SCULLY who is watching the TV. He looks at her lips. MULDER leans down toward her. She turns to him. They kiss. For about 7 seconds. Very sweet. They pull apart and look at each other and smile. Perfect.)

MULDER: The world didn't end.

SCULLY: No, it didn't.

(SCULLY gets a wistful, far-away expression.)

MULDER: Happy New Year, Scully.

SCULLY: Happy New Year, Mulder.

7.04 Millennium

[thursdayinspace]

There is something about the way Mulder learns to accept and seek out emotional support and comfort throughout the course of the seasons. With all the casual physical contact that they have going on from the beginning, he seems ready to reach out, but doesn't seem to expect others to do the same. He feels deeply, but he keeps it to himself; something he seems to have learned from an early age. He's had to build his life around other people's pain since his sister disappered. He doesn't want to burden others with his needs.

Scully's "I wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you" in "Tooms" is met with a joke immediately to lighten the mood -- a flirty joke, but still. He doesn't think he deserves how much she cares about him. Caring is his job. It's everyone else's job to disregard and dismiss his feelings and not take him seriously.

Scully setting up their secret meeting in "Little Green Men" -- he seems almost a little confused that she really just wanted to see him. He doesn't react when the touches his hair before she leaves. He doesn't react when she briefly takes his hand at the end. I don't think those little gestures of comfort don't register with him. They do. He simply doesn't quite know how to respond to them. He doesn't hesitate to gently cup her cheek and offer comfort when she wants to come back to work after her father's death. But he would never expect her to do that for him.

In "Anasazi" when he says "Thank you for taking care of me," it seems like he has to think about that sentence for a long time. Not because he isn't grateful, but because he doesn't really understand why she did it. Nothing more embarrassing than thanking someone and hearing "Oh, I didn't do it for you." And he said some pretty rude things to her when he was drugged, accusing her of betraying him. Who knows how much of it he remembers, but apparently enough to feel mortified. He never wanted to hurt her, but he must have, and then, after all that, she saved him and risked so much for him?

The scene in "Detour" comes to mind, the night in the forest when she tries to pull his head into her lap so he can get some rest and so that she can keep him warm, and he jokes "I don't want to wrestle." She doesn't have to do this, he's fine. He's not being a manly man who doesn't need anything, it's just that she's offering something that's hard to accept for him. She offers him a place to let go and stop pushing on. And he doesn't think she needs to do that, he is not fatally injured or anything, he'll be fine. But she wants him to be comfortable. She sees him, and is there for him.

At his mother's hospital bed in "Herrenvolk," she reaches for him and he lets himself cry into her shoulder. It's not just an emotional scene because of what he's going through. It's that he's allowing himself to truly let himself go in front of her. She reaches for him and he gives in and leans his face against her shoulder, holds onto her, letting her hold him. Letting her hold him. That's the really crucial point. Who has ever done that for him before? Who has ever allowed him his pain and told him it's okay, I know you have to feel like this right now, I know you're hurting, and I will be your tether for as long as you have to lose yourself in this?

"Sein und Zeit" -- he clings to her so tightly, lets her be his lifeline in this moment, as he knows she wants to be that for him. Letting go like that is so, so scary. There is always the fear that it will change someone's opinion of you. Make them think you're weak. Let them know what gets to you, and then you will always always always have to deal with them looking at you trying to asses how okay you are in stressful situations. It leaves you wide open and vulnerable. Learning that she doesn't expect him to be strong, that she doesn't believe that things don't affect him, that's a new concept. It requires so much trust.

Being able to take an offered hand is really fucking difficult, especially when you've been conditioned to be the one doing the reaching out. Leaning on someone is terrifying. Some patterns are hard to unlearn. But her steady presence finally allows him to show weakness and trust her to catch him when he falls. It lets him understand that he's allowed to fall sometimes.

[pookie-mulder]

What if Mulder and Scully got married in the three days between William’s birth and Mulder’s departure?

What if, when they decided Mulder had to leave to keep their family safe, they couldn’t stand the thought of being apart again without some tangible proof of their bond, evidence that they love each other and promise to be together for the rest of their lives?

What if they strapped Will into his carseat and called Maggie on the way to the courthouse, telling her to meet them there?

What if they tied pieces of string around each other’s fingers because they didn’t have time to buy rings? What if the only photo of that day was a hazy shot of the newlyweds in front of the courthouse, holding their newborn son between them, taken by Maggie on her disposable camera?

What if their wedding night was spent in a tight embrace, neither of them daring to close their eyes, wanting to soak in every last moment of their time together, only letting go to calm their son when he woke?

What if Mulder promised his wife that as soon as they reunited, he’d take her on the world’s most extravagant honeymoon? Anywhere in the world she wanted to go, he’d make it happen.

What if Scully received an unmarked package at her doorstep one day that contained only two things: Teena’s wedding ring and a Polaroid photo of Mulder’s left hand, gold band shining on his ring finger?

What if, each night, Mulder pressed a kiss to their wedding photo, placing it under his pillow before going to sleep?

What if Mulder laid there, months later, on a dingy motel room bed, his forehead pressed to his wife’s, and apologized for ruining their honeymoon plans?

What if Scully pulled him closer, brushed her lips against his ear, and whispered, There’s no place I’d rather be?

[randomfoggytiger]

I’ve been an x files fan for years now (since 2008ish) but fan fic has never been my thing. If I wanted to give it another go, what writers or pieces of fic would be a good place for me to start? Thanks! 😊

What a dream request, thank you!

Not much of a fic reader? Hm. I drifted to fanfiction because I wanted a canonical hole plugged in; but it sounds like you're looking for quality.

I'm narrowing these suggestions to long-form fics, and going to try to keep them as "fandom approved" as possible. (I'm also cutting back on the "famfic" recs because that's not everyone's cup of tea~.)

Authors whose works could (one could argue, should) be published as novels, in no particular order:

@amplifyme/Lydia Bower, @aloysiavirgata, @slippinmickeys,

@cecilysass, @teethnbone, @dreamingofscully, @sixhours,

@mashnotesofthemythopoeic/Penumbra, @sigritandtheelves/Darla,

@onpaperfirst, @melforbes, @ghostbustermelanieking/skuls,

Jenna Tooms, @seek-its-opposite, @settle-down-frohike,

@frostbitepandaaaaa, @leiascully, @darwin-xf, Beshter,

@scenes-in-between/scullywolf, @scullylikesscience

Here's a brief rundown on each author, to the best of my abilities:

amplifyme

My mother's embraces are frightening in their intensity, and I can feel her fear as though it seeps from her pores. Mulder's arms hold me easily but fully. And there is a calming effect in his touch. He restores me to myself, makes me strong again. I wish I had taken the chance and discovered that years ago.

-Dance Without Sleeping

One of the OGs. Her writing explores the paths of Mulder's and Scully's minds. The Scully in her stories is pragmatic, matter-of-fact, and protective of her secrets. The Mulder in her stories is tender, predictably mercurial, and secretive, as well. The most direct admittance can be the most damaging, and the most healing. Her longest work is, I believe, Dance Without Sleeping; but my favorite, though short, happens to be Light Don't Sleep. Her Ao3 is here.

aloysiavirgata

“That’s a fair question, Senator,” Scully observes in her liquid nitrogen voice. She leans forward in her seat, just a little, just enough, to remind him that predators have eyes at the front of their heads. Scully crosses her legs and gives the Senator the full force of her blue eyes, the hard angles of her good cheekbones.  

She is magnificent, Mulder thinks, smitten. She is Themis, she is Ma’at. One day she will devour the hearts of the unrighteous, his own included.

-Singing of Mount Abora

One of the OGs. She treads the line between poetry and prose so seamlessly you are left, baffled, by her intelligence. Her writing features Mulder and Scully with a little bite: neither are fools, and neither will be trifled with. (They're also wickedly intelligent nerds.) Mulder is Jewish (though that rarely comes up) and was married before (though that only comes up when it comes up.) Canon halts in Season 7, but that doesn't stop her from writing Season 9 masterpieces with Mulder and Scully and their son-- which is where I'd recommend you begin, with By Falling In and In. If that's not your cup of tea, I'd say catch up on her canon divergent Waters of Babylon, Petrichor, and Singing of Mount Abora. Her Ao3 is here.

slippingmickeys

The boy winced and inhaled sharply as her fingers ran over the cleft where the fibula met the talus and she rocked back on her heels, eyeing the darkening horizon. Did he have people nearby? Could she leave him here without guilt? She didn’t really have the time or inclination to take on a project — she and Mulder had tried that before — banding together with other survivors, and it had always ended poorly. And boys his age, as few as she had seen, made her uncomfortable. Her subconscious would scan their features, looking for a genetic echo of the Scully-Mulder’s. Mulder would have to pull her aside and whisper “it’s not him,” and she didn’t have the space in her heart for the guilt. Even now she had to ignore the blue of his eyes and the way his gritted teeth had the same gnathic slant as the only man she’d ever loved.

-North of Zero

One of the OGs. Her Mulder and Scully are practical, capable, sleek survivors. Her writing exists somewhere between the clack of a gun slide and the omnipresence scent of a wild pine forest. She's written extensively on... everything: Colonization, space, POL, case files, mytharc, everything; and well. I'd recommend North of Zero for a starter. Her Ao3 is here.

cecilysass

It’s Mulder, she reminds herself. No matter how long you may have been gone, or what has happened in your absence, you know what to expect from Mulder.

At last he shuffles through the door, and it’s him, definitely him: head bent, looking weary and wilted. He turns to lock the door again, evidently not paying very much attention to his surroundings.

Her heart constricts. “Mulder,” she voices softly.

She can see his whole body go still from behind, but he doesn’t look right away. His back remains to her.

-Pause

One of the OGs. Her Mulder and Scully are weighed by secrets, by their unspoken. Her writing dwells in the silences; and the tones of her work shift depending on the narrative: insular and psychologically exploratory, fast-paced and bitterly overwhelming, slow and unspooling and peaceful-- but always with a bittersweet aftertaste. I would do a disservice if I didn't recommend A Boy on the Beach first; but my personal favorite is Pause (and All the Dead Mulders and Not Orpheus, Not Eurydice.) Her Ao3 is here.

darwin_xf

Mulder. Her genius. Who happened also to be her blithering idiot. A fresh swell of affection overtook her. This is how it was for her, even just talking to him. One minute she was standing in the shallows enjoying or enduring or surviving a day at the beach, whichever kind of day it was. The next she'd find herself walloped and rolled by the rogue wave of her feelings for him. Then she was surfacing, sputtering, salt-blind, struggling to find the steady line of the horizon.

-Vox Mulder: Fired and Wired

One of the OGs. Darwin's writing is clipped and "action" focused. Her Mulder and Scully are fond and quippy and silently torturing themselves with their own repressions or secrets. Vox Mulder: Fired and Wired covers the IVF arc concurrent with Mulder's (secret) brain disease diagnosis; and her notes tearing into canon's handling of the latter arc are incredibly detailed, incredibly satisfying, and incredibly hilarious. Her Ao3 is here.

dreamingofscully

They searched, staying together with Scully’s single flashlight. As she suspected, they didn’t find anything out of the ordinary. The cellar was devoid of sound and light, not a single rat or insect scurrying about. No more traces of the unknown substance.

They followed the trail of viscous fluid back to their room. Their adrenaline-fueled trek left her exhausted, and she was hopeful she would be able to sleep for a few more hours before dawn. Not even her fear could break through the cottony haze that clouded her mind. Collapsing on the bed, Mulder pulled off her slippers. 

-Surely, to the sea

One of the OGs. Her writing is practical and pleading-- the veneer that Mulder and Scully front, and the truth. Her Scully has teeth but prefers silence and distance. Her Mulder stubbornly walks the thin line between opening his partner up or closing her back together tighter. Trust-- in each other, in themselves-- can be broken and mended with the right words, the right meaning. I recommend starting with Surely, to the Sea (and my favorite short fic is this one.) Her Ao3 is here.

Frostbite Panda

“I make you a whole person,” she whispers. The slam of sudden memory is heady, destabilizing, threatening to spin her clean from reality. 

He leans forward, elbows on his knees, a sound escaping him that she cannot identify. Truth be told, he looks a bit ridiculous— wrapped in a green sleeping bag looking like a dormant pupa, not the wrecked and ruined man he was. 

-Four Days on the 63rd Parallel

One of the OGs (I believe.) Her writing is grand and touching, a microcosm of the macro effects Mulder and Scully face alongside, and with, each other. Her Scully is reluctant, doubting Mulder's beliefs but trusting him; and her Mulder is courageous and wallowing, afraid to try for fear of rejection. Four Days on the 63rd Parallel (and its follow-up In a Perfect World) explores what would have happened if Mulder and Scully had been trapped in Antarctica, in a snocat, alone, until help arrived. Her Ao3 is here, and requires you to be logged in.

Jenna Tooms

Then there's the matter of Mulder and his reaction to scissors and the razor. When he was first released from the hospital I took him to his old barber. He made it into a seat, and even let the barber tie the cloth around his neck. At the first flash of the scissors, though, he was up and out so fast for a moment I only stood in the waiting area dumbfounded, the baby in my arms.

He will, however, let me cut his hair and trim his beard--which he grew to cover his facial scars. I let him keep it as long as he lets me keep it neat.

-An Acceptable Level of Happiness

One of the OGs (if I recall.) Her writing is just north of canon, veering off to give us better, brighter spots to land Mulder and Scully. Her Mulder and Scully are soft, seemingly delicate with a touch of steel underneath. They've taken a beating, have internalized that beating, and are being supported wholeheartedly by the other person in their partnership. If you want canon-ish, I'd recommend An Acceptable Level of Happiness; if you want mytharc-ish further down the timeline, I'd suggest Truly, Madly, Deeply, and if you want canon veered off from and returned to-ish after Requiem (16 years later), then I'd strongly lobby for Shooting Star. Her Ao3 requires a log-in, here; but Jenna's works are also on Gossamer (here).

leiascully

“Did you see this?”

She blinked at the screen of Mulder’s phone and gently pushed his wrist until it was at a distance she could focus on. Technology changed but Mulder didn’t. She couldn’t count the near misses with magazines and file folders, the threat of papercuts across her cheeks.

“Ford isn’t going to make Tauruses anymore,” he told her before she’d had a chance to actually read the headline. That was also standard procedure. Mulder was a scrolling marquee of odd headlines and interesting trivia. He was the original clickbait, drawing her in with his promises to change her world and alter her perception.

-Taurus Season

One of the OGs. leiascully's prose captures the essence and magic of ordinary things. Her Scully is secretly a wanderer, her Mulder an errant domestic. There is reciprocity in their strengths and weaknesses; and the world is always more beautifully strange together. I recommend her Visitor series, which rewrites Revival canon along necessary lines. Her Ao3 is here, and requires a log-in.

Penumbra

They slipped among the dumpsters at the back of the building and into the empty quivering night, jaywalking the shadows up the hill streets, ringing the manhole covers. False planetary lights floated about in the foggy sky. Scully opened her fawn umbrella. Mulder glanced often behind them, his fingers pressed into the suspension muscles of her hard young back.

-Bad Radio

One of the OGs. Her Scully is strong and silent and will not be swayed; her Mulder is withdrawn and foreboding. Her most infamous work is Heuvelmans' On the Tracks, but I know her better through this post Gethsemane cancer arc fic: its darkness, its inevitability, its immovable-object-meets-unstoppable-force. Her Ao3 is here.

Prufrock's Love

"He says a horse bit him," Duana translated for her mother. Duana stripped off Lord William's tunic and ruined shirt to reveal the wound. "He damages more clothing..."

Lord William stooped to show Caithrin the twin rows of tooth marks on his left shoulder, still telling his woeful tale....

Not sure what was expected of her and thoroughly intimidated, Caithrin did as she would with her own sons. She made the sympathetic face and clucked over him like a mother hen. Lord William, pacified, settled down on the stool by the fire to let Duana doctor him.

-Hiraeth

One of the OGs. Her Mulder and Scully are messed up, secrets upon secrets, love and miscommunication and chaos towards each other and themselves. Prufrock's prose and dry wit can't be denied; and she's most notably known for Belghor's Prime, a Mulder time-traveling story, and Paracelsus, a Civil War fic that loosely locks into her sprawling, transformative "past lives" series. I, personally, prefer Hiraeth, because the Mulder and Scully I read there aligns (mostly) with my interpretation of canon. Her Ao3 is here.

onpaperfirst

The chip was round and under a microscope the texture looked like fish scales. 

The procedure was over in ten minutes. Three tiny stitches at the back of her neck with a gauze pad taped on top. It shouldn’t have worked, but it did.

-Snakebitten

One of the OGs (if I recall.) Her Mulder and Scully are inherently bound, even if the plot has driven a wedge between them. They speak the same language with different words, they work back to each other with lightning speed, they are chummy, they are contented. Their humor is fantastic. Her longest, angstiest work is Snakebitten, a rewrite leading up to The Pine Bluff Variant; but my personal ones are (surprise, surprise) her "part one" and "part two" short fics, Home, Home and Honey Hi. Her Ao3 is here.

seek_its_opposite

She leaves her rumpled partner in the car with the window cracked while she goes to the front desk, glancing back possessively over her shoulder as the woman behind the counter gets their keys. One room, two beds. “I’m not letting you out of my sight, Mulder.”

She keeps seeing him like she found him, on his knees before the ghosts of his childhood. She sees him praying to the barrel of his gun.

-photosensitivity

One of the OGs (I think?) She writes incredible meta on the series; but she's also written one of my favorite short fics, ever (and I have a lot of those.) You can navigate to the rest of her Ao3 through this link, but you'll have to get through photosensitivity first. >:DDD

settle-down-frohike

“I’m fine, Scully,” indignantly going back to the task at hand. And she’d have believed him too, if he wasn’t looking through her, if his pitch hadn’t been a little too high, if he hadn’t forgotten the fact that her shoes were the very last thing to put on and she wasn’t even out of her hospital gown yet. She allowed it out of pity, mostly. Or humor. But his hands shook, fumbling with the laces like a feening alcoholic.

-for the WIP prompt: hospital

One of the OGs. She writes distraught Mulder incredibly well; and balances him with a Scully who is dry, caring, and bouyant all in one breath. I can't rave enough about her short fics (their links can be found here); but I'd recommend this and this and this because they tie together to form a Redux II whole. Her Ao3 is here.

sigritandtheelves

The world is different now, after so much has been lost. It moves a little slower, takes for granted a little less. It is still a dangerous place—because fear is catching and learning that things are not as they seem can make some go mad with denial and rage and terror at the loss of their footing. But it is also more peaceful, in some ways—because loss reminds us to hold love close. Because all the hearts that stopped beating are still felt in their absence. Because people, in the end, come together in crisis. They don’t only tear each other apart.

“I think we did okay,” he murmurs. “With our quarter century.”

Scully leans her head back to look at him. “Just okay?”

“Mm hmm.”

-Advent

One of the OGs. Her writing is pure sensation: cotton and earth and jeans and nine o'clock shadows and soft skin and the tangible grasp of wishes come true. Advent is her longest fic; but I implore you, on my hands and knees, to read all four of her pages on Ao3-- they're not only the gateway drug to other incredible, incredible short fic writers (ghostbustermelanieking, @baronessblixen, @o6666666, all the authors mentioned here, and so many, many more) but are also a shining example of family fic done well-- a very hard skill to pull off. Her Ao3 is here.

sixhours

Back to sleep. Sleep. No big deal. Just go to sleep.

A minute passes, then two. He’s not tired, in fact, he feels incredibly awake. His heart is pounding, a distracting pulse in his ears. The bed is too soft, too deep, too…real. He can hear her breathing next to him, feel the warmth radiating off her body, his senses screaming at the level of detail, the texture, the vividness of it all. Instinct is a dog with a bone, and it won’t let go.

Something’s wrong.

-Lucidity

One of the OGs. Her writing clips along at an even pace, the story driving Mulder and Scully ever forward. Mulder is most often on the outs, Scully most often peering at her partner silently, trying to figure him out and draw him in. But mostly, the two function independently of each other, content to drift further or nearer as long as they are together. I would recommend Lucidity as a primer. Her Ao3 is here.

touchstoneaf

He did not soften, at first.  Did not edge away, nor did he lean into her.  Much like that awful night when their office had burnt he simply stood cold with shock and while she supported him; the steadfast fidelity of their bond never questioned in the decade that they had been together.

“I was there,” she murmured into his shoulder.  /I’ll always be here./  He could accept it now.  She was finally able to press her arms about him in the night.  Feel the strong bones beneath unblemished flesh; amazed that he was even alive for her to hold after an ordeal that had indeed taken him from her for so long that she had lost all hope.  She shuddered and cinched her arms tighter; felt his ribs shift beneath the silky envelope of his skin.  They creaked in protest, but he did not move, and she spoke like one driven. 

-Amor Fati: Destinata (The Fated Love), Act Three

One of the OGs. So OG, in fact, that the butchery of Season 9's mytharc pushed her to write a mythology replacement. Scully is fearful, anxious, but strong to her core. Mulder is lonely, and loving, and afraid to slip back into dark places. Both push each other to become better than they believed they could be. Her Amor Fati, Destinata (The Fated Love) series is still being written; but it's detailed reconstruction is well-worth the read. Her Ao3 is here.

I separated these two authors out because they're the x and y axes of my personal taste:

melforbes

She falls asleep before him. In some ways, it’s a burden to share a bed with someone, not a pleasure; if he moves, he fears he’ll wake her, but it’s horrible to stay so still for so long, especially when he can’t sleep. But he can see her eyelashes in the dark, and her cheek is squashed against her own pillow, and she checked the room when they arrived to make sure that there were plenty of tissues. Had there been a couch here, even a divan, he would’ve taken to that instead, let her sleep soundly without him. The day of the wedding - he almost tenses at the word wedding, not because he dislikes it but because it feels so strange and unreal, as if it never really happened even though he remembers it so easily and comfortably - they had a makeshift reception in her apartment, just cutting cake with her mother and then sharing slices with the Gunmen after her mother left. If anything, it felt more like a funeral than a wedding reception, so many questions tiptoed around, everything too urgent and human to be a celebration, but between guests, she grabbed part of her slice with her bare fingers and pressed the cake against his face unexpectedly, and he looked at her with surprise, and she laughed in an inward way that made her shoulders move. 

-seaglass blue

One of the OGs (I believe.) I have to start here because seaglass blue is grafted onto my heart. Set before Gethsemane, the author based it on a real couple's journey with impending death; and the way she wrote Mulder's POV-- how she kept us always locked in his head each and every day of his honeymoon with Scully-- is forever burned on my psyche. I don't see the emotional damage, if you will, as unnecessary or melodramatic or traumatic-- it's just a window into the slow approach to the end, or a fear of it. (However, if the writing is too "overlapping" or "run-on" for your taste, I'd recommend aloysiavirgata's gorgeously succinct prose, mentioned above~.) All of her works are fantastic; and, oddly, the rest are usually beautifully cozy (if you can find them on her page.) (Note: authors with their own uniquely similar styles include @teethnbone and @enigmaticdrblockhead -- can't recommend their work enough, particularly The Ansted Graft and this list here, respectively.) mel's Ao3 is here.

skuls

They follow Mulder's trail, Scully's heart thudding too hard against her ribs. Skinner is telling her that Mulder wouldn't do anything crazy when it comes, the headache. Pounding against her skull. And then she hears Will crying out: Dad!

Scully bends over, stomach against her knees, clutching her temple. “Scully?” Skinner is saying. “Scully, what's going on?” But she can't hear him over the roaring in her eyes. William is still speaking, rapid-fire in her mind: They're hurting him, Mom, they're hurting him! Make them stop!

In a flash, she can see what William sees. Mulder barely conscious, being dragged outside through the snow. An axe in the hand of his attacker. “Scully, are you alright?” Skinner protests.

-silent conversations

One of the new recruits (I think.) Her writing is an art form: painting broad, sweeping pictures on the tiniest canvases, in the shortest sentences. Her descriptions, characterizations, and dialogue all serve the plot-- not a hair out of place and not a nook or cranny neglected. I will never be over her short fics, but her longer works are crafted carefully, too. If you want a complete rewrite of the entire series' mythology, then the Half-Light universe does it, and does it better; if you want a Season 8 casefile, then snow in april manipulates Mulder and Scully to a very sinister town; if you want Season 7 to properly deal with Mulder's brain disease, encephalon's got you covered; if you want William to stay with Mulder and Scully, William AU (relent, silent conversations, noises echoing, not out loud) bends in that direction; and if you want a complete rewrite of Samantha's abduction, california winter is where I'd start. Her Ao3 is here.

And lastly, do you want to read long-form fill in series? These three are masterfully done.

Beshter

There were few things in the world that Dana Scully could imagine were more arduous in her the world than family dinner night. Perhaps climbing Mt. Everest in the middle of a howling blizzard would be one. Maybe crawling out of the Amazon rainforest with a broken limb would be another. Even walking single-handedly into the desert with just one canteen of water between you and horrible death under the scorching sun could trump the monthly gathering of the Scully clan at her parent's house in Baltimore to have dinner with her parents.

One of the OGs. Her X-files Seasons covers every crack, crevice, and canyon in the show: Scully's life and family separate from Mulder, the journey drawing her closer into Mulder's world, and her own transformation from the green agent she was to the woman of diamond she became. Her Ao3 is here.

scullylikesscience

Over the course of the weekend, Mulder hardly talked at all. When he did speak, he was abrupt, flippant, and sometimes defensive. He still didn’t want to be touched, nor did it seem to Scully that he wanted to touch her. He kept a wall up around him, a protective shield. She tried to give him what she thought he wanted, space and distance, while at the same time trying to let him know that she was there if he needed her. It was a difficult balance. He seemed glad of her company, yet disinclined to talk to her at all.

-Chapter 87

One of the OGs. Her He is the Master of His Fate, She is the Captain of Her Soul series exquisitely fills in Season 7, Season 8, Season 9, IWTB, Season 10, and S11 while filing over and rewriting the incredibly stupid canon decisions along the way. Her Ao3 is here.

scullywolf

Mulder stirred again and mumbled something she couldn’t make out, and she wasn’t sure if he was talking in his sleep or actually trying to tell her something. She leaned over to put her face closer to his, listening.

“They’re not the same.”

She frowned. “What’s not?”

He shifted, blinking up at her. “Moth men. You might think they’re the same as the Jersey Devil, and the circumstances are similar, but they’re not the same.”

“You mean aside from the fact that this is Florida, not New Jersey?”

-Detour

One of the OGs (I believe.) Her TXF: Scenes in Between series plucks one moment from each episode and builds upon it, providing a window into either Mulder's or Scully's psyches. She even tackles Mulder's (alleged) Season 7 brain disease. Her Ao3 is here.

If you want more fic recs, I have lists catalogued under my Collector's Edition tag. If you want even more fic recs, I wrote a fanfic resource post here. And if those aren't enough to appease your hunger, @lilydalexf and @fine-nephrit have pinned master posts that will probably have something for you.

Hope this helped~! And drop back in sometime-- let me know if you read something you enjoyed, or found fanfic still isn't your preference. :DDDD

[scullysexual]

She’s already in the water when he climbs in, the cold a welcome relief from the heat of the day and the humidity of night. He sits on the ledge, the water coming up to just above her chest, the perfect height. Scully is submerged, the water sitting just below her chin. She doesn’t seem to mind it, however.

Mulder takes her in. He yearns to see her bathing suit, to see the way it hugs her body, cups her breasts. It’s black, he knows, he can see the thin straps, the way they travel up her shoulders and disappear behind her neck.

Her hair is up. Twisted in that way he oftens sees after she’s had her bath. Freshly washed hair kept away from the chlorine and he knows it’s freshly washed because it’s thicker, brighter. The strands that don’t quite reach or stay in their clips float about in the water around her neck . The night air is still humid and the smaller hairs that frame her face curl around.

And her freckles. She is bare faced tonight, a rarity he sees, and the sunshine today has made them pop. He asked her once why she covered them, her response was to pull a face and say, “Because I already look younger than I am, Mulder. I don’t need to be looking like a child as well.”

He didn’t think she looked like a child, she looked carefree. He wanted to reach out and kiss each one, pull her clothes away and discover the hidden ones, kissing and naming as he goes, drawing the constellations between them.

Looking at her now, he is aching for her and he is achingly hard staring at her.

“It’s nice out here, at least,” she says looking around.

“Yeah, it is,” he says back, not referring to the scenery surrounding them at all.

And maybe he’s looking at her a bit too closely, a bit too lovingly, for she turns back to him, eyes narrowing.

“Do we have something to talk about, Mulder?”

Mulder blinks, swallowing, sitting up a little straighter. “I, um…Do we?”

She is suddenly before him, close enough to touch. He can see more of her now, no longer obscured by the water. His gaze falls down, brain short-circuiting, eyes almost popping out of his head.

Cleavage. Lace criss-crossing over her breasts.

“Mulder?”

There’s a note of desperation in her voice. Mulder begrudgingly pulls his eyes away and looks at her. Suddenly the number 36 hits him like a brick.

36 freckles on her face.

“36!” he yells out.

She looks at him puzzled.

“Sorry,” he apologises, looking away, unsure why he said it.

She’s closer to him now, a knee either of his hips, straddling him. He can smell her body lotion and it makes his brain go fuzzy, blood rushing south as he sits in pure torture.

“Mulder?” she asks again. He looks at her so goddamn close.

Her hands touch his shoulders tentatively and he jumps at her touch, heart hammering. He wants to ask her what she is doing but whatever she’s doing is incredible and he doesn’t want the spell to break.

“What is it, Scully?” he asks instead, his voice sounding hoarse. He resists the urge to touch her, clenching his fists instead under the water.

Her eyes briefly flick down to his lips, her own parting slightly, before they return to his eyes.

“Kiss me.”

His body acts quicker than his brain can respond. In an instant his mouth is crashing down onto hers. The hands that fought so hard not to touch her grip her sides. It’s game over when his fingertips touch the bare skin of her back.

Mulder pulls away and is momentarily distracted by how flustered Scully looks: cheeks slightly pink, lips swollen…He’d be impressed with himself if he wasn’t currently pushing her into to him, desperate to see what his hands are touching.

There was clearly a theme going on with this bathing suit she’s chosen. The back criss-crosses in the same way it does at the front, leading all the way down until it reaches the small of her back.

“Fuck, Scully…” His head falls onto her shoulder. He’s hard. So hard it’s painful.

“I was hoping you’d like it,” she says shyly. “I bought it for you.”

He’s died, he thinks. He’s died and gone to heaven because there’s no way Earthling Scully would say something like that.

He starts to press kisses to her collarbones and the base of her neck.

“I love it,” he says though his speech is slightly muffled against her skin. “You should wear it all the time.”

His erection strains against his shorts and so badly does he want to pull her down and grind himself against her but the water is too deep for her and a drowning Scully would be an inconvenience to him right now.

“Can we get out of the pool please?” he asks.

“God, yes.”

She climbs onto the bench and hoists herself out, sitting on the ledge, legs still dangling in the water. He gets a good full look of her bathing suit out of the water now and briefly closes his eyes, committing it to memory before he climbs out of the water himself.

They go the closest room which happens to be hers, forgo any towels or drying off. He kisses her again, letting, his tongue exploring her mouth while his hands explore her body. She sighs and moans while his hands stroke up and down her back, fingers catching on the lace.

“This isn’t a complicated contraption to take off, is it?” he asks against her lips.

Scully takes his hands, placing them off the back of her neck where the straps are tied in a bow.

“Just pull on that,” she says.

Mulder follows her instructions, yanking on the end and the bow breaks apart, straps separating.

They pull apart so she can take it off. The wet suit clings to her body as she forces it off but Mulder can barely focus on that as more and more new Scully is revealed to him. He’s never came just by looking at a naked body before but he can’t be certain it won’t happen now.

She kicks the offending item away and it sits crumpled on the floor, already soaking the carpet below it. Mulder’s eyes remain on her body until her hands go up into her hair and he snaps them up.

“Let me,” he says reaching out to pull on the clip. Her hair, curly from the shower, tumbles down.

Mulder doesn’t think he’s seen anything more beautiful.

He stands there just staring at her, his jaw hanging open.

She smiles shyly. “Like what you see?” Her hands fall in front of her stomach, fingers nervously fidgeting with each other.

“Fuck yeah…” he answers, eyes still roaming, unsure what to linger on.

“Are you…?” she gestures to his shorts.

Why the fuck is he still wearing his shorts?

“Oh yeah.”

He pulls them off and kicks them away as quickly as he can while she sits on the edge of the bed. Her eyes widen slightly when she catches sight of him and it’s her turn to swallow.

“Mulder, it’s…”

He looks down at his own penis and tries to keep the smug smile away. “I know,” he answers. “It’ll fit, Scully.”

She frowns at him. “I know that. Just…go slow, okay?” She looks down at him again looking almost…fearful.

Mulder approaches the bed, his hands circling her thighs before parting them and kneeling between them.

“Hey,” he says, looking a finger under her chin and lifting her head up. “I’d never hurt you, you know that.” She nods and he presses a kiss to her lips and pulls away. “If you don’t want to do this just tell me.”

He waits for her answer, not moving.

“I want to do this,” she says.

Relief spreads through him because he wants to do this too.

He really wants to do this.

He kisses her once more.

“Then budge up a bit, baby.”

She moves, twisting so she’s laying against the pillows. Mulder hovers above her, her kisses her again, allowing the kiss to grow deeper than the last two. His hands start trailing down her body, venturing towards that place both she and him long to touch. He gets so close, just inches away before he trails his fingers back up the opposite way. She groans into the kiss.

“You’re an ass,”

Mulder chuckles. “You know you love it really, baby.”

“Call me baby one more time and I’ll shoot you.”

“But then I wouldn’t get to do this.” He touches a finger to her slit, slowly drawing downwards. Scully sighs, pressing deeper into the pillows.

“You like that, baby?”

“Yeah…” she sighs.

He gathers her wetness, circling her entrance and pushing a finger, then two, inside. She feels incredible, clenching around his fingers, the little sighs and moans exiting her mouth. He uses his thumb to swirl her clit and she jumps a little at the contact. He grinds into the edge of the mattress hoping to relieve some of the tension when she makes a noise, hips stuttering against his fingers.

“Mulder?” she says, her hand trying find him.

“Yeah?” The hand not currently inside her finds hers.

“I need…” He listens. “Inside…please.”

He moans at her request, fingers fucking her harder.

“Fuck, Scully…”

“I’m so close,” she says, her voice hoarse. “I want to come with you inside me.”

He never ever in a billion years think he would hear her say those words to him. He pulls his fingers out of her and puts them into his mouth, eyes closing momentarily at the taste of her. One day, when they’ve got time, he’s going to spend hours tasting her properly. For now, though, both he, she, and his dick want nothing more than to be inside her.

He lines himself up, is about to push in when suddenly—

“Shit, I don’t have a condom,” he exclaims but Scully shakes her head.

“We don’t need one. Please, Mulder,” he begs and how can he say no to a begging Scully.

He ventures in as gently and as slowly as he can manage, remembering his promise not to hurt her as he pushes it way in, feeling her stretch further than she did around his fingers. She’s tight and hot and wet, smelling of body lotion and chlorine and Scully and it’s that final realisation that he think causes him to black out.

He comes to seconds later to Scully pushing on him.

“Mulder, I really need you to get off me and move.”

“Fuck, shit, yeah,” he says, hoisting himself up, still dizzy. Slowly he starts to move. “I think I blacked out for a second.”

She laughs.

A wonderful, belly laugh which is incredible to hear but he is balls deep inside her and she is laughing.

“What’s so funny?” he asks.

“Can’t say I’ve never made a guy black out during sex before.”

“Yeah, well, there’s a first time for everything, baby.”

He starts moving in and out of her, sliding easily each way. He thought she felt incredible around his fingers but he had no idea what he was missing.

“I will get my gun,” she says but her threat is hindered slightly by the sigh that follows it immediately after.

“What’s stopping you?” he asks.

“You feel so fucking good it’d be a shame to kill you.”

It’s his turn to laugh then.

Soon all laughter dies and Mulder feels the familiar jolt.

“Are you close, Scully?” he asks.

“Yeah, just…”

He touches a finger to her clit once more, circling the bud until he feels her clench around him, her hips rising off the bed, and the fluttering of muscles as she comes all around him.

A orgasming Scully becomes his favourite Scully. It sends him over the edge, spilling into her.

He wants to stay like this forever.

Scully on top of him, covering him like a blanket, sleepy, naked, and soft in his arms.

He never wants to leave this room.

There is something on his mind, however. A question. What happens when they do eventually leave this room?

He spirals.

He can’t go on pretending he’s not been inside her, that he hasn’t sat in the front row hearing her moans, felt her coming around him, felt her skin soft and warm as it is, circling the cluster of freckles on her hip and thigh.

He can’t leave this room like none of it happened.

He won’t.

“I suppose it’s time to have that conversation now.”

“What conversation?” she asks. Her own fingers are making their own circles on his chest.

“This. What just happened.”

Scully sits up, albeit sluggishly, sighing and pushing her hair out of her face. Mulder thinks he should stop touching her but taking her hands off her body requires more strength than he has right now.

“Mulder—”

“I can’t act like this didn’t happen, Scully. I won’t.”

Her hands touch his face like it’s the last time she’ll ever touch him and he holds onto her tighter hoping that it isn’t.

It’s not.

“Later,” she lays back down on his chest, adjusts herself more comfortably. “Later, I promise. I just want to stay like this a little longer.”

Later. He can give her later.

@today-in-fic

[leiascully]

Can I request a smutty/angsty prompt? Mulder initiating more sex because he’s secretly having a bit of baby fever which opens a very serious (fight/?)conversation about having another kid. Set anytime after the truth

Here you go. 1500 angsty words; rated M for sexual situations. Trigger warnings for discussions of infertility, pregnancy, medical interventions, PTSD/trauma, etc.

They’re in South Dakota, maybe, in a small dingy motel room on the bad edge of town. But it doesn’t matter, because they’re together. They’re finally out of the car and she’s pushing her hands under the hem of his t-shirt and he’s unbuttoning her jeans and it hasn’t been that long since they made love (days? A week?) but she’s nipping at him like she wants to devour him. Time loses its meaning on the road, and so does space. But they’re here, both of them, and that’s all he cares about.

He kisses her breasts. They’re different than they were before: softer and lower, the shape of them changed. The breasts that nourished his son. He worships them with his mouth and his hands. She makes wanting little sighs and kisses his head. She’s quieter now than she used to be. Less free, maybe. In his apartment, she used to scream her pleasure. It’s not like the neighbors weren’t used to it.

Her nails prick at his skin. She’s grown them long, painted them red. He doesn’t like it much, but it does disguise her. And he likes the feeling of them scratching welts down his back. After everything, maybe he shouldn’t enjoy the pain, but it’s on his terms now.

He lays her out on the bed. The comforter is scratchy and thin under his belly as he wallows between her thighs. She moans and tangles her fingers in his hair. He’s grown it out. She brushes it tenderly off his forehead sometimes, but it’s better when she tugs at it like she’s doing now. He still can’t feel everywhere. Nerve damage from whatever happened to him. But the scratches, the prickling in his scalp, the slightly damp skin of her palm wrapped around his cock: he can feel those things.

She writhes under him, murmuring his name. He slides up her body. Her body is different too. Her belly is softer, rounder, striped with silver where their son stretched her skin.

He wants to have another baby with her. He wants to be there this time, to hold back her hair when she vomits and feel her belly swell under his splayed fingers. He wants to spill himself inside her. The urge is primal, nearly overpowering. His woman, splayed open under him. He loves her incandescently. He wants to fuck her through the cheap bed until her body goes limp with pleasurable exhaustion.

This urge to plow into her, to put his child inside her, terrifies him. The veneer of civilization is already rubbed thin by their transient life. They don’t need a baby with them in the car. But he wants to hear her call out his name, and he wants to lose himself in her body, and he wants to see the look on her face when she realizes they have been granted another miracle.

He prowls up her body to kiss her mouth. She licks the taste of herself from his tongue, greedy for his kisses. She’s in a wild mood. She sucks at his lip, lips at his nipple. He pushes two fingers into her, thumbs at her clit, makes her squirm under him. She gasps. He takes his cock in hand, rubs it between her folds. The slick head of it rests against her entrance. He can feel himself thick and heavy with need.

“Mulder, wait,” she says. “We need a condom.”

“I thought we could do without one,” he says, withdrawing just a little. His shaft slides against her clit and she arches into him automatically.

“I’m out of birth control,” she says. “We can’t.”

“I thought maybe,” he starts to say. “I thought we could try.”

“Try?” She looks up at him, puzzled, and then her eyes widen. She wriggles out from under him and sits on the bed, pulling her knees up and locking her arms around them. “Mulder, no. We can’t.”

“Why not?” He rolls onto his side. “I know it’s not the best idea.”

“Do you have any idea what I went through?” she asks. Her voice is quiet but it trembles. “Mulder, do you have any idea?”

“I know the birth wasn’t what you wanted,” he says, and trails off. Because the truth is that he doesn’t know. He wasn’t there. He knows she knows that. He was gone, and she suffered alone: not just the nausea but the fear. But he suffered too.

“I didn’t know if I would give birth to a child or a monster,” she says. “Was it a miracle, Mulder, or some strange experiment? I love him - I loved him - beyond all reason, but I still can’t answer that question. Every day, I was afraid. I was sick with it. Every minute I carried him in my body, I was afraid for his life and mine. And I was alone.”

“You wouldn’t be alone,” he offers.

“How can you ask me this?” There are tears in her eyes. “How dare you ask me this now?”

“I thought….” He shakes his head in frustration. “It doesn’t matter.”

She’s crying now, tears rolling silently down her cheeks. One hand is pressed to her belly. The other still clutches her knees.

He rolls out of bed. The moment is gone. His cock is already drooping. He drags on his underwear and a pair of shorts, finds his t-shirt. His socks and sneakers were discarded on the floor in a more hopeful moment. He picks them up and puts them on again.

“Going for a run,” he says, as if it matters what he says, and then he’s out the door.

It’s hot. The air shimmers above the road, and there’s nowhere to run but the shoulder. He starts too fast, relishing the way the air burns in his lungs. He doesn’t have the stamina he used to, but fuck if he’s limping back early. She needs her space. So does he. There’s a chasm between them he’ll never be able to bridge with words. He might have done it with his body if he hadn’t been so rash.

It takes two. But his yearning doesn’t stack up against her avulsion. He remembers the toll the IVF took on her. She can’t learn that William’s conception can’t be replicated outside of a lab. He understands that. She can’t lie on her back with her legs up, stare at a pregnancy test that refuses to reveal the results she wants, track her cycle. He remembers the shots and the mood swings. He remembers the way disappointment crushed her. He remembers the way her back ached the last month of her pregnancy, how she couldn’t sleep.

But god, he wants a child. He wants a family, with her. He wants their child. William.

Leaving felt like erasing their tracks. It felt like starting over. For a moment, he let himself be overwhelmed with the potential of it. Now he plods down the road, legs heavy, and begins to understand the nerve he’s touched. He’s angry, and he’s aching, and he’s mourning the peace they might have known. But she’s aching too, and furious, and guilty, and ashamed.

There’s a hole in their hearts where their family might have been. He can’t fill it. Instead, he runs away, across the baking plains. He runs until he’s tired and then he turns around.

The door is unlocked when he gets back to the motel. Not safe, not their protocol, but he left the key with her. He’s sweaty and covered in dust. He stinks. He’s exhausted. The room is dark when he enters. He looks for her in the bed. She isn’t there. For a moment, panic shoots through him. But the car was in the parking lot - he leaned against it to stretch.

As his eyes adjust to the dim, he realizes she’s curled up in the armchair farthest from the door, her feet tucked up under her. Her lashes are stuck together from crying. Her sleep looks uneasy but deep. His heart breaks a little at the sight of her. It hurts, too, to know he hurt her, and it hurts to feel his own pain unacknowledged. But the ties that bind them have been snarled and knotted for years. He knows the bite of that rope as well as he knows his own heartbeat.

He slides the comforter from the bed and tucks it around her. She murmurs in her sleep but doesn’t stir. The air conditioner rattles and hisses. The air in the room is icy as the blood in his veins. He gazes down at her. She’s made herself so small. That’s his fault. That hurts. Another cut to add to his thousand. Death has already come for him and spit him back up. Now he’s a walking wound, and so is she. He forgets that sometimes, or tries to. It didn’t work this time.

She hasn’t woken by the time he’s finished his shower. He should go find them some dinner, but he’s weary to the bone. He slides into the lumpy bed alone and pulls the thin sheet over himself. It’s cold, but he’s been cold before. He knows the lonely chill of the grave. It’s unwelcome, but so familiar he’s almost comforted. The sheet is a shroud. The room closes them in, a coffin for two, suffocated by the once-fertile earth of their dreams.