#shit ...kinda got me neglecting my blog and shit

[skimmeh]

Pspspspspsps Tumblr following! How's it going, man's nearing the end of my uni grind hah ... I'll be free soon!!!! I miss posting more ahh

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 32 - Pupuce's Life

Finally, an episode where I won't have to say anything At All.

To extract some value from this ep despite how it is kinda boring, I will overanalyse this room now.

Firstly, Kerubim is so orphancoded. He's so old and sleeping on a bunk bed with no lower bunk.

I like to think that, in the orphanage, Kerubim and Atcham got into bloodied battles where they scratched the shit out of each other over who gets the top bunk, and due to not being hairless Kerubim always won and bullied him into sleeping on the lower one.

I like to think it was one of Atcham's many tragic backstories. Like that's when The Darkness truly began to grow.

I genuinely think it's fucked that Joris, at 7 years old, is sleeping in a cat bed. But also, that's not even one tenth of the most insanely evil things about their household.

They have so many potatos and so much bread... Heaven on earth.

Ever since I mentioned it in one of my earlier posts, I had wanted to elaborate just a bit on some other evidence for my headcanon (or, well, pretty-much-canon?) of Joris being a night owl, and this moment of Joris just blatantly oversleeping is as good time as any to bring it up:

We often see Joris awake at night, or staying up very late without any issues.

Perhaps, it is due to Kerubim himself often staying up late, and also due to, y'know, the child neglect that was probably happening before Simone, that he developed a circadian rhythm that has him being so okie-dokie staying up late.

I won't even point out that there's a random knife on the floor. I am fucking numb to the sheer neglect in this household by now. Kerubim could leave rat poison in Joris's bed and I would be like "oh that silly goofster!"

But I will point out that it seems that Kerubim often leaves Joris alone with Simone, and I will be real — in my heart of hearts I know that this fucker left Joris home alone since he was like four whenever he needed to do something. Or he'd be like "uhhh go across the street and sit at miss Julie's, brb" and be gone for hours. He probably left him home alone over overnight too. You can't tell me I'm wrong.

It would be out of character for him to get someone to actually babysit. Especially with how shit their home was.

"No, little pupuce, don't go into SCP-914!!"

"Oh mon dieu, c'est un scp full of evil clonen !"

Kerubim is insane. All these pictures of his ex, and none of his son. He really is insane.

I think Kerubim still draws, at least in some capacity. No other reason for there to be oil paints in their home.

Though perhaps Kerubim is into the idea of his son getting poisoned by expensive-ass professional-grade paint. Maybe he's just into that.

"ASTRUB CITY" repeated twice. + "Dofus Pets 2" (obviously.)

Also, jellyvision movie theatres are real. And so are traffic lights. Though I didn't bother screenshotting the second thing.

Oh this one is even better than that time we found out that someone at Ankama called a person named Emilie a bad word in this kids cartoon. You'll love this.

I'm sorry french person from 2013, but I've been translating this text with a huge grin on my face. You ARE the interesting find.

This ad is so beautiful. Thank you, Kerubim.

The man might pretend that he doesn't like Pupuces as a species all he wants, but his actions speak louder than his words. He's never beating the love allegations.

They are all so bad at taking photos... Also! This confirms that at least a Single photo of Joris, as well as Simone, is on a wall somewhere in the house. Big day for regaining belief in Kerubim's normalcy.

This says "ANNIV PUPUCE", which finally made me realize, that there are three champagne glasses on the table, one in Joris's hand, as well as some weird looking food with candles in it (probably pupuce's food?).

This changes EVERYTHING. Kerubim is no longer an evil fucking cat/enemy #1 of this blog. Kerubim has been forgiven.

[dms-saggicorn]

Heyyy what fandom are you most active rn? :3

Ah, you have returned, dear anony! 💜 Well, uh, i suppose 14 days with you? I have been reblogging a lot of the blogs' stuff for a while now. Ren and̴̨̛̛̺̦̺͇̮̹̱̹̍̉̔̑̇̋͆R̴̨̛͓͎͗͐E̵̳͚̣̲̩̼͋̎̒̔̏̀͘͠D̸̻̲̫̓̅͌͆͂̆̍̉̀̓̿̕͜ͅA̸̢̻̮̖͉̪͉̞͇͇̭͉̋͊̒͒̒̌̌͆̓͜͝ͅC̸̛̖̬̼͍̗͂͊̓̾̀̆̐T̵̡̰͍̗̹̬̻͛͂̒̍̇̅̚͝Ę̶̫̲̼͕͖̫̞̋̏͌̎̓̎̀̄̃͠͝D̴̨̢͉̫͓̠͖̹̟͉̓̿̿͊̂͐͛) have been on my mind for quite some time because of the update :)

Y̶͔͍̾́a̴͓͖̖̩̯͎͈̟̙̫̦͓̖͉̺̪͉̅̊̄̾̾̾͒͐́͌̈́͒̄ͅy̴̱̱̘̩͈̹̪̩͉͎̞̹͎͍̻͚̮̘̺͔̤̳͓͓̦̮͎̽͑͛͜͜ ̴̢͓͉̞̬͙̻͉̼͓̈́͘I̸̢̨̛̜̫̾̈́̈́͌̌͒̆̾̆̋̀̾̆͋͊̽̔̿͗͛̈́͂͘̚'̸̛̭̼̺̝̯̤̼͋̂́̀̀̾͛̅̐̉͛̀̒͘͘͘͝͝͠͝m̸̡̧̨̢̨̟̯̼̳̦̗̼̲̦̭̤͇͈̹͇͍͉̥̣͎̙̻̈́͂̿̏̋͐̀̾̃͊̄͆̋͆͗̓́̂̚͠͝͝͝͠ͅ ̶͎̠̈́̅̈́̈́ş̵̮͙̬͈̻̳̬̑̂̅́͌̂͋͑̇̌͛͊̌́̎͛̚̚͝͠ͅo̸̢̺̱̺͐̈́̾̎̀͜ ̶̨̡̰̳͔̺͇̭̻̩̗̥͖̤̥͎̱͎̜̥̮͍̎̀͜ͅģ̵̡͇̬͔̦͕͆̿́̍̂̇͑͋̊̇̔̈́͑͊̕͜͠͠͠l̴̢̡̧̞̲͙͚̝͉͚̮̪̞̞̩͚͖͎̤̣̰̮̉̆̌͑͗̄́̉͐̈̄̋̄̇͂̃̀̊̌͗͆̽̉͜͝͝͠͠ä̶͚̲̯̩̺̺͈̹́͐̀̇͠d̴̢̧̧̧̮̲͙͓̺̭̩̰̙͚̃̍͛͋͗̈̈́̐̈̆̓̈́͌̓͐̃͋̌͌̓̌͆̕̚͠

̵̢̧̭̞̬̙̱̜̬̰̄̋͂̓́̈́́͗͊̃̂̈́̚ͅB̸̖̖̯͉͖̱̒̂͋̑̊̉̌̈́́̚̚ê̵̩̼̩͚͍̦͉̱̤̠̈́̀̋̔̋͘͝ͅͅs̷̡̲̳̲̙̝̳̳̝̬̺̤̪̃͂̈̈́ị̴̭͈̙͖̫̜̩͓̘̹́̐͂̿̍̈́͒̽́̚̕̕͝͝d̸̢̥͓̖͖̫̗̮̦͎̭̩͛̈́́̔̋̾̋̊́̌̈́̌̆̃͠e̶̞̹̩͖̝͔͈͖͉̻͕̖͐̃̽̓̊̉͂̀̿̈́̀̒s̴̡̰̯̥̱̆̒̎́̈́̑̅̊̿̈́̕͘ ̶̞̏͐̏̈́͋́̂͂̃́͘͝͠t̸̛̰͙̯͕̖̤̜̦͒́̑ḩ̶̧̨̛̠̜̖̳̜͚͈̱̫͓͍͊̓̄̈́̋͋̋́͝a̴̢̧̲̬̞͉̖̝̹̦̥̥̐̏̄͌̄̋̔́̈͘t̴͇͈̞͚̲̭͖̂̑ ̸͚̥̘̗̭̟̰̫͙̫̭̂̽͜ö̴̫͉͉̦͎̦̞̤̠̬̱̝̦̭̣̽n̸̛̲͗e̷̢̖̞̘̝̺̒̿̌͒̓̾͛̉̚ͅ,̵͉̞̲͈͔̦̺͕̹̒͛̃́̅̾̎͆́̀͌̾͘͠͠ i suppose mushroom oasis too!! Mychael is sooooo cute 😭�̸͔͖̪̮̲͎̖̺̃͗̂̎̒̈́̈́͛̀̇̋̇�̸̫̫̼̙̇̒̊̚̚͝😭�̸͔͖̪̮̲͎̖̺̃͗̂̎̒̈́̈́͛̀̇̋̇�̸̫̫̼̙̇̒̊̚̚͝😭 such a tall little gentleman. Just wanna cover his face with kisses and eat his food.

(̴̧̨̧̧͇̭̻̥͕̙̦̪̭͈̳̞̫̟̳̝͚̻̖͖̘͉͇̱͍̣̖̺̟̉̀̈̒̄͑̈́̐̅̈́̇́̏̀͘̚͝ ̷̛̜̘̦̩̬̖̘̰͍͉̳̼͙̩̣̦̞̝̜̭̗̗̟̪͍̗̟̥̯͌͐͆̍̆̌͗̊̃̋̃͐̀̐̀͛̐͆̍͑̑̌̍͆́͛̇̏͋̍̎͛̂͝ͅb-b̷̧̧̡̢̛̛͍͈͓̠͙̜̬̬̮͔̭̜̜͍̉͊͒̀͒̾̿̋̾̀̈́̓̔̀̅̓̆ų̶͖̻͍̣͕̲̥̣̃̉̚t̸̨͕̗̯̺̥̺͖̦̥̟̩̮͔̻̩̜̥̠̳͇̞̠̜͈̻̮̪̐̒͜ ̶̡̬̰̪̮͈̲͍͖̰̉̍͋̓͌̆͛̇͂̎̓̈́̈̀̚͜͝w̴̢̢̘̲͉̮̹͍̠͔͚̤͈̫̠̣̟̥̜̱̑̃͑͝ͅh̷̭̜̲̊ͅà̶̡̨͉̹͇̞͖̬͉̖̖͉̦̠͖̻̜̬̜̫̯̹̣̠̱̮̞̙̖͍́̒̃̆̿̽̓̀̽̌̈́͋͋̎̑̊͜ͅͅͅt̷̥̥͕̜̖̖̀̐̽̏̄̂͂̓̅̀̍͋͐͗̐̋͑͋͊̉̈́̌̅̐̿͊̏̏̔̕̚̚͠͝ ̷͔̘̬̩̠͓̙̗̩̪͓́ḁ̵̲̄̔̀̏̑̾̏̈̀́̉̈́̈́̾͛̐̽̈́̑͑̚͝ͅḃ̵̨̤͇̪͖̬̼͎̜͉̙͉̟̱͔̬̤̖̟̠͓͉̗͒̈́͑͛̄̄̑̓̏̊̆͗͑́͐̊͆̐̀͊̀͊͆͛̓̽́͌̍̕͝ǫ̴̠͇͒͌̌̄̏̋͑̽ȗ̷̮̫͍̯̙̝͔͚̠̙́͒͌̅̀͑͒̋̃͠t̶̳̣̪̥̿̆͊͂̒̉͒̍͒̇̅͊̀̉̇̾͝ ̴̨̛̟̜̗͓͈͍̩̹̞̘̤̘̠̺͇͉͇̰̖͈̄͑̂͋̂̽͛͋̀̆̉͋͜m̶̨̢̛̛͓̥̰̠̦͉͓̥̘͊͂̔͆͋̇̉̀̓͋͗̃̈́̅̇̉́̃̂́̅͂̃̈́͘̕̚͝ͅe̴̢̡̨̨̛̙̠͍̭̼͈͕̖͎͔̱̻̣͐̌̃͆͂͛̌̇̑͌̍̀̓͋́́̏̒̆͌̒̓͒̀̋̊̋͘͘͜͝͠ͅ?̷̡̨̛͔͔̜̳̼̝͕̮͖̠͕̬̗͇͚̟̀͑͆̋̈́̅̑͑̒͐̿̓̇̑̈̓͂͐̀̆̃̈́͒̄͋͊̒̇̑̕̚̚͜͝

̸̙͈̺́̔̌͛̏͆̏̊̂̊̀̀́͋̌̇̾̾̃͗̐̅̚͠͝I̵̛̬̗ ̵̹̙̔̑̽͂̔c̴̨̀͛̊͂a̶̛͍͈̙̋̂̾͑̋͘͝ṋ̵̘̭̿́͐̅̈́͑ ̷̯̙͍͙͊̈́͒͘͘b̴̗̄̎̀̃͂̆́͝͝e̷̬̳̝͕̍̇̀́͘͠͝ ̴̧̘̂̚t̵̖͌̃̓͛̄̄̓̊̿h̷̢̛̗͉̦̪̘͖̰̏͜ó̷͈̳͕s̴̱̙̪̀̇͠͠e̸͈̤̬̼͕͊̔́ ̷͇̦̬̬̻̯͛̀́̀̑̅̀͝t̶̟̳́̀͗̕̕̚͠͠͝h̸̻̖̓̂̀̅͆̉ỉ̷͍̼͑́ṅ̷͍͕̬͎̈͊͜ģ̷̞̯̪̈́̓̍ͅŝ̴̬͉͍͈̀̐̇̚͜͝͝ͅ ̷̢̹̟̰̮́̍͐͆̄̒̒͜a̷̧̨̛͚͉̠̞̩̻͜ṅ̵͙̂͊̓̔̉̆͠d̷͚̀̅̀̆̏̾̏̕ ̶͔̹͍̭͈͂̕̚ͅm̶̘͌̇o̸̮̜̿̓r̸̡̰̭̹̞̱̭̈̆̎̾͜͝ĕ̶̻̂́͠ ̷̧̣̟̼̖̩̘̥̌͐c̷͍̻̈́͋̊͗̈́͒a̵̳̗̰͒͘ͅṅ̴͖͈̜̼̀́ͅ'̵̢͕͚̳̖͓̦̽͛̄̾t̶͔̬̃̃̈́͒̊̿̀͛ ̷̦͈̭̗͍͊̋̓̏́͂̄̏İ̵̯͍̙͍͋̀̈́̓͑̕?̴̨͓͙̓̂͊ ̴̧̨̥̈͑͋̃

Ḭ̸̡̜̮͉̹̫̰͂̐̓́f̵͎͖̳͎̝̉̈́̅͋͛̍̎ ̷̠̟͍̫͚̾̀̍͐̈́n̵̝̮̄̚ǫ̷͖̳̘̝̖̱̼̝̒ť̸̹ ̷̧͍̟̯͎͔̩̫̃͐̓͐̔̌͑͘í̴͈͌-̴̛̺̗̣̀í̸̟̺̰̩̇̓̏͜'̶̨̞͔͍̝̗͆̄͗ḽ̵̘̰̬̫̰͓̀l̴̓̈́̎̈́͑͝ͅ ̵̛͖̱͂͂͛̈́͛̓́̀l̷̝͎̬̦̺̥̺̄̕͝ͅe̵̦̼͖̖̲͔̖͋̃̈̚̚ͅą̵͍̜͚̈́̂́͂͒̿̃̌̆ṛ̴̖͕̯͍̟̞͛͛̑̍̌͒̈́͛͜͝n̷̳̦͇̩͉̔̈́̒̈́͘͝ͅ!̷̤̅̈́̄͝͝ ̵̛̹̽̎̇̚H̷̨̧͕̰̳͇̫̍͐̑̓o̵̧̗͗̒͑͝n̴͓̒̓͛̂͌̐e̶̢̡̨̤̳̤͇̱͐̍̑s̸̨̨̥͍͂̽̊͑͜͝t̶͉̗̖́̓̉̎̅́ͅ!̵͔͖̗̮̞̈ ̷̭̹̭͙͋̆͘͘ͅ

J̷̜̗̝̙͈͓̇̆̑̈́ͅu̴̪͑̆s̷͙̉̃̀̀͗͒̚͠͠t̶͙̰̝̦̬̮̞̃̓͒̌͐̆̔-̴̛͍͇̓͛̂̔́̕ ̸̧͖͓͉̼́̎̉̉ͅp̵̨̼̠͔̖̱̺̆̌́͝ḽ̸̻͔̬̦̌͒̐̊͘ͅe̶͕͖̱̓a̸̦̻͔̿̑̀s̶̢̜̫̬̖̥͌ę̷̇̌̋̉͌̔͘.̸͔̼̘̯̬͇̈́̀̂͆͆̾͐̄͠.̸̧͉͈̌ͅ

.̸̦̝̖̳̾̿̽ͅó̷̝̫̰̀̈́͗͜ṇ̴̠̘̱̮͔̥̗̿̈́̇͐l̵̡̝̪̟̫̹̗̲͛͊ͅý̶̨̡͖͕̹̓̿́̈́̚͝͝ ̷̢̛̟͕̭̝̦̆̈́̔̾̅͝l̷͕̾͗̒̂͂̄̾͑͠ǫ̵̪̪̹͓͇̃̀͑̉̏̈́̏̂͝o̷͚̭̤̟̮͂̋̐͒̀͒̈̉ͅk̶̛̦̱̪̪̆̒͒̽͌ ̶͚̬̼̮͙̟̻̔͜͠ã̶̗̮̂̎̆̐̊͠t̷̢̳̺̜̎̽͗̅̋́̕͝͝ ̸̢̨̱̰̒̑̍͗̀͠m̴̡̱̞̦̪̓̅̋̚͝͝͝e̷̹̬͆͒̅̈́́́?̷̣͎̞͚̝̦̓ ̶̱̾͗͆̅̐̉

P̶̢̡̗̞̼̤̦̝̎̌̉̆͐̍͌͊L̵̡̰͕̘͙̠̪̏̈́̂ͅḚ̶̡̐̔̀̋͘͠A̵͓͍̠̩̹͔̜͐͛̽̋̀̓͂͝Š̶̜͊̀͘E̷̢̺̮̟̫̼͖͂̋̈́͊̈́̀̓ Angel?

Ooh i also wanna get around making an MC for the game but shit i got important boring and tedious matters to take care of 1st not to mention some art related stuff i have been neglecting because ya girl has been going through it lately :/ (there's a small update to one of those projects on the art blog if you're curious tho) that aside tho, i still love all the things from all the fandoms was a part of (a lot of new ones too!) even if shitty irl stuff kinda prevents me from making stuff but it's all good im too stubborn to give up trying :p and besides i can still like, reblog, and gush about junk via tags like i always do UuU and answer asks if you ever wanna chat again hun! :D always nice to have you hun 💜

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:(

[some-unlucky-girl]

I’m new to this whole blogging thing if I’m gonna be frank. I mostly just hopped on here because I’m tired of the Reddit crowd and my usual brand of negativity doesn’t really jive well the in crowds of discord so now so I guess I’m just here now. So let me introduce myself I’m billet and about a year ago I started going to full sail for audio production.

Music has always been one of my passions and I spent my confused and edgy teen years trying to smash together metal licks with my shidiot teenage boy friends to pretty much no real success. Between being broke ass trailer park kids and lack of drummers and bass players. We really didn’t have the what we needed to really record anything really.

Anyway by the time I was 17 after many falling out with my current set of piers. I was depressed and alone as I wanted to be with no one for company besides this white boi rapper drug dealer. My now late mother used to rent out my room at the time to the local dealers for some extra side skrilla and he happened to be one of them.

We just kinda hit it off at the time and would smoke hella gas and watch dragon ball on vhs tapes. He just preferred them to digital formats. So one I were were chilling and I was on abit of a tirade about how I really missed making music how I couldn’t really do it anymore and yadda yadda yadda. When he stopped me and pointed out that the crappy computer my mother had just procured for me. Was fully capable of recording my vocals. He showed me how to boot up garage band and that day I recorded the worst cover of from first to last note to self you’ll ever hear.

From then on I world get random instrumentals I’d find on YouTube and just go to town. I have like a fraction of my old stuff from then on my old sound cloud with run of the mill 2014 edgy and offensive titles on a few which I regret now in hindsight.

After I lost my old laptop and my life fell to pieces during Irma i was 19 at the time. Once I got back on my feet I spent a few years moonlighting as an emo trap artist. As is the usual for metalcore scene washouts who couldn’t hack it within those circles.

Life got in the way again after about 2 years of rough whiny sad boi songs . Me and my partner moved states and we got our own space again but I still didn’t have a good computer or mic to record with. Because we were kinda hurting for cash I used to donate plasma at our local blood bank. Well one day I finished up my usual donation I had one of the other donors offer me a ride. I didn’t really think anything of it so I accepted and the bitch neglected to tell me her car didn’t have breaks until after we were on the road. One near death experience later I decided to go back to school for something I’ve always be interested in.

I’ve always been a fan of horror and I had recently finished a few analog horror series’s. Aswell as plethora of movies and games. A lot of which were very fresh in my mind and I still think about to this day. Being a shoegaze enjoyer and recently at the time having just discovered sigilkore. It’s basically if trap and hyper pop had an edgy bastard child. I figured why don’t I try to take some of the mixing styles I’ve heard in sigilkore and the density of some shoegaze projects I liked. Blend it together and shit fuck it into some horror inspired big cringe. There is this one artist called shedfromthebody she did this project where she was kinda larping as a weird fae creature thing in her music videos. So after I made my first song in years splinter. I figured well I’m a satanist why don’t I right songs in the Kayfabe of me being a demon who feeds on dreams and negative energy thus the reason why my first mixtape that I have embedded here. Is called dream eater. From there I would find free beats remix them and record my vocals over them.

Now I’m pretty done with my schooling. So I’ve trying to focus finishing up so I can work on my beat production skills. Well anyway if you read all of this thanks I always appreciate when anyone gives me the time of day. If I stick around I’ll prob keep posting

End of edgy backstory

[blondeboyfriend]

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃

thank you for the tag @omniapod <333

1) Zeke, my forever husband. I feel like I kinda neglected him in 2023 because I got consumed by Golden Kamuy.

2) Vash!! one of my first anime/manga crushes (hello middle school nostalgia) and truly the best boy of 2023.

3) I'm not saying anything about him. I'm like imposing a gag order on myself regarding him.

4) Tsurumiiiii. I'm still ill over him. like he just makes me feel so fucking disgusting because of the shit I'd do to him and let him do to me. HE MAKES ME CRAZY. The official daddy of 2023.

5) yeah yeah I love Kishibe BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY WHERE HAS THIS MAN BEEN? IS HE EVER GOING TO RETURN (i'm kinda behind on csm...)

6) Asa and Yoru got me through 2023. My emotional support losers.

7) when I remade this blog it had a Makima theme (I transferred it [and the old username] over to my reblog blog @ctrlwave). I'm such a simp for her tbh. My goal for 2024 is to finally write something for her.

8) my slut for life

9) WHO REMEMBERS MY SANGWOO ERA

honorable mentions: Dio Brando, Asirpa, Himeno, Rin Itoshi, and Ryosuke Kira (JUSTICE FOR KIRA)

tagging @strawberrystepmom @bluecoba @itoshisoup @demonwoman @dolcezzzza @swallowed-teeth @izumora @wurm-food. idk consider it an open tag if you see this!

[hella1975]

hi hella i hope you’re doing fine because i know i’m not and it’s YOUR fault. let me explain.

okay i have an exam this week and my fucked up brain decided to start bungou stray dogs (i’m currently reading the manga. pray for me) because APPARENTLY when i run out of things to watch i turn into ‘what hella said was watching?’ and start whatever shit you talk about on your silly little blog. this happened A LOT in the past (i did not forgive you for banana fish). it’s not really your fault i’m neglecting my academic studies to watch gay people but i have to put the blame on someone????? i can’t blame my own idiocy???? ANYWAY. i’m writing this ask not to complain to you about my brain but because i want to know your opinion on something, cause i trust your judgment. genuinely curious: what do you think about akutagawa and shin soukoku????

hope you have a great *insert the time you’ll read this ask* !!!! <3

BESTIE IM SO SORRY SDKGJHSDKJGHDKJSGH but also CHUUYA NAKAHARA like there really is nothing better than that you have absolutely made a good call here

im guessing you're asking about my thoughts on akutagawa and ssk separately and not one in regards to the other? i absolutely ADORE akutagawa like he's sooooooooo funny 'i dont remember introducing myself as mute' KING SHIT but also on a more serious note he makes me sooooooo sad and it only gets worse the more of the manga you read. i can really see some solid foundations for a redemption (mind 'redemption' means in regards to bsd where very few characters come close to actually morally good so yk. pinch of salt) and i just think if dazai got his happy ending the akutagawa should too. there's a whole cycle of abuse in bsd that goes mori -> dazai -> akutagawa -> kyouka and out of ALL OF THEM kyouka was the only one to break away from it, but AKUTAGAWA was the only one to show some sort of humanity. even dazai only complimented akutagawa because he was kinda pushed into it by atsushi, whereas akutagawa UNPROMPTED with ZERO GOOD ROLE MODELS told kyouka that he was proud of her. he's still incredibly young and he was brought into this world when he was even younger and he's very much a 'i excuse his heinous crimes' character bc he was cool while he did it. i just want him to be hugged :(

so yes im a BIG shin soukoku shipper because i love akutagawa but i also love love LOVE atsushi, and i just think them paired together works so surprisingly well. initially it was the classic 'light/dark, sunshiney one/grumpy one' etc, but it's actually more than that. atsushi, someone usually so kind to the point of being a bit of a pushover, never hesitates to snap up Thee Port Mafia's Hellhound. like they argue with each other! and it's so important both for akutagawa, who doesnt really have anyone keeping him in check let alone even ATTEMPTING to enforce a moral code, and also atsushi, who seems to only defend himself so shamelessly, so instinctively, when it comes to akutagawa. they're on complete level playing fields for the first time in their lives and they make each other stronger and they're each other's greatest fear and worst enemy and other half and it's a love story told twice before and certainly will be told again and maybe one day, one day it wont have such a tragic ending

[maroonagain]

Maroon Exists: the blog Topic: Friends

Hey, tis I Maroonagain. This is the first time doing this type of blog things, I heard it's good for me to write my feelings out like this from a parental figure, so here its goes nothing. A big ass issue used struggle with pure daily is Attention, Validation, and Social Skills.

I believed that, yeah, this is mostly on me, I dont really know how to talk to people normally or know how to carry a convo like a normal ass person. Shits been happenin my whole life, so would could blame me. So Imma tell you a tale on how my ass came out of the dumps and kinda got my life on track. I was heavly neglected back in my school years (3-12 apox), mainly because I was the weird kid that no one really liked. Most convos that involved me back in middle basically boiled down to this:

no one wanted anything to do with me. They hated my art, hobbies, lunch, hair do, humor, music taste, even my clothes. Getting validation was very hard at that point in time, because everyone just ignored me because I was the cringe kid. I was a very terrible talker, I struggled to say words right and often shuddered or break eye contact. Middle school just sucked. The only good thing about MS was the fact that back in 8th grade I got put into computer programing class. That was the only point in my life where I felt validated with others and had decent talks, mainly about video games and art which I'm into. It felt like the class was meant for me, because it was a class with a bunch of weirdos like me that didn't quite fit in with other peeps.

It felt like people understood me, as you can tell I got along with that class just fine, and, get this, I actually made A FRIEND that I TALKED TO. Crazy I know. At that point in time I hadn't had a friend sense 5th grade. Want to hear something crazier, he lived apox 5 minutes from me. He was the coolest dawg u wouldn't even believe omg. Every weekend or so I would come over to his house and play Smash or Minecraft it was the coolest. Overtime my friend status start to grow, I met someone from my classes who liked my art, found a kid who loved my weird ass humor. I kinda sort of improved on my talking skills, not by much, but I was improving, I still couldn't keep eye contact with people, but I was IMPROVING. Then I found someone, someone I had a crush on, someone that was so cool like my friend but nerdier and had really goddamn impressive art even of a middle schooler. She rocked my world.

Ofc she didn't know I had a crush on her for obvious reasons, but still, I really wanted to be with her. It seemed like my life was going up and I actual friends. I had attention and I had validation and people to talk to, that all I ever wanted sense the 3rd grade. It left like everything I have worked for from that moment payed off.

But when life giveith

life takeith away

I lost all my friends in a matter of one whole ass summer, why you might ask, well its simple. Most of my friends in the friend group where in 7th Grade, I was in 8th. And the two close friends that where in 8th, gone too. My friend who I used to play smash and minecraft with went to another school and never talked to me again. And the girl I had a crush on had to move to Oregon. The worst part of all of this? I never got her number, I was too afraid to ask. Life's a bitch, aint it?

So okay cut to 9th grade, I had to start back at square one with validation from others. I thought it'll be a walk in the park, just do the same thing I was doing before and I'll be fine. One issue though, you know those kids who though I was weird? Yeah they went to my school, they told other kids I was weird. I was back to being the weird kid that no one liked. Great.

Then for some weird ass reason they found out that I had a little thing called autism. Most people ignored me like the plague. My convo skills suffered and my ass was stuttering even more than I was used to. They called my interests shit, they hated my guts.

One person told me that I was a friend-less freak and that I would die alone.

For the record I wasn't miss-perfect goody two shoes either, I let this shit slide and I let myself get that bad because I was so knee deep in the lack of validation that I just gave up dude. Instead of focusing on myself, I focused on how the fuck I can make people smile and make people remember my name at least. But everything I did made people stay clear of me even MORE. So well yeah oops.

So half of the school year is left, what do I do? Sense I know my ass aint getting friends anytime soon irl and I'm pretty desperate for attention, where do I look? Do I look under this rock?

Do I check in a book?

Do I check in this cup?

I give up and check the internet, maybe that will help.

After searching for a while I found this little thing called Discord, a free program that helped people chat with others with similar interests. I signed the fuck up on that shit with no hesitating at all. My ass was talk to people no matter what. My user name was Waluigi31 and the first EVER server I joined was the pizza tower discord server. My ass was READY to make some friends, online or offline!!!! Of course it wasn't all smooth sailing, remember, my ass had zero social skills and knowledge of how tf friends worked, so basically my first day on discord boiled down to this:

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh. It's a start. Eventually I stared to adapt and grow and learn things on how this fabled mystical program worked. So I set up some rules for myself on a google doc so I remembered the do's and donts: RULE 1: dont @everyone that's annoying RULE 2: dont spam that's annoying RULE 3: if your under 18 do not go into 18+ servers dumbass, they are for mature ass people only (side note: even though I am 18, I still dont feel mature and act mature, working on that tho) RULE 4: KEEP ON TOPIC AND READ THE ROOM IF NEEDED RULE 5: dont fuck every 5 seconds that's annoying After that I was on my own, sure most people ignored me and my presence, but I was noticed and even liked, and that's all that mattered to me. I started to share art and people enjoyed that enough. Looking back on it.

yeah these where terrible sorry. BUT PEOPLE LIKED THEM AND THAT MADE ME FEEL ALL WARM INSIDE SO WHO CARES. Eventually I started to spread my legs and enter another server, it was a tf2 server, dont really remember much about it except that I met my first ever friend there. I don't really remember much about them but they invited me to another server then I met another person and they invited me to their server and then I met someone really important. Their name, Dem Apples. Their mission, start an minecraft smp. Apples was the first ever person that I truly interacted with on a daily basis, and was the first every person that I sort of kinda held a convo with.

I was still hella terrible at my social skills but, fuck, I was very validated and had actual friends that I could hang with. I made a truckload of new friends on that little smp server and it felt like I was part of a friend group, we even had inside jokes that no one would understand (thus moment). I spend new years with their asses celebrating. Then something crazy happened, well, 2020 happened lets be honest. The flu swept the world and everyone was locked inside washing everything they can so they cant get the measles. The outside world stopped, but yet the online world grew. My friendship with apple and others grew closer and I changed my name to waluigi31 to MarioGaming69, I wish I hadn't but here we are. My pfp was the Mario World small mario sprite on a gaming chair that I made in scratch because I didn't have a pixel art maker to work with besides shitty mspaint. 2020-2021 is where i felt my confidence start to grow with friends. Online learning sucked tho, that wasn't good, wish school was just canned for the year because of the fever pandemic but yeah, grades plummeted. I just watched old smosh the entire time.

Okay it's 11th grade now, my confidence is up, my talking skills are good enough, lets make some friends

3 months go by my ass still has zero irl friends

I'm out of options, I have no where to sit for lunch, I'll sit here I guess

Little did I know I just made the best goddamn move of my life

This is where I met the boys, a friend group to call my own. FINALLY. our asses did everything, you name it we did it. Went to the movies. Danced at dances. Went to Prom. Stole oranges. Dumped a fuckton of milk into the toilets. Called each other gay. Found a phone and found a fuckton of porn and said phone. We all lived life to the fullest and I felt as if I had people that actually cared about my ass, for the first time in my 17 year old life. I finally had that validation and attention that I've always wanted. But I got more than that, I made people who where weird just like me, and felt one with the group. I wouldn't trade that year of High for anything. Sadly they where all 12th graders and they all left after they graduated, but they gave me their discord group chat and we are still doing dumb shit even to this day, like watching family guy in a Tesla. If any of the boy are reading this, thank you for making my life not a living hell and making my 11th grade year the best High School year of my life. You guys still continue to bring big ass goofy smiles across my face. BUT THATS NOT ALL BECAUSE IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2022 I FELT LUCKY AS HELL AND DECIDED TO MAKE A FABULOUS TWITTER ACCOUNT

This was a terrible idea and probably made my mental health worse but GODDAMN did I make some wonderful friends on there.

(I love you guys btw your awesome) It seemed like life was starting to get good, until fall hit It started with a cough, my little sister was sick and we all thought it was just the flu or a fever, it was that season. Then she got worse, very worse. We had no idea what was happening to her or what this was, it seemed as if it was worse than a common cold or fever. My mom took her to the doctor and they couldn't tell what it was. Then in September 16th, My Mom and Step dad took my two sister to a Rodeo with some friends. My little sister passed out, they had to take her to the ER. Then they called. She had cancer. This hit me like a truck. They said it was very curable but we didn't know for sure. My mental health dropped, all focus went on my sister and everyone though I was fine so they ignored me, I wasn't fine. I was too far gone for fine. Something new came into my life that day, anxiousness. I started to get anxious about everything. What do people think about me, are my friends ignoring me, what if my art isn't good enough, what if I'm not good enough. At that point I needed validation for something else, to cure my anxious body and to rest my soul. Something that I'm still struggling to fix even to this day. I started to harm myself, I went to the hospital multiple times because of times i tried to kms or talked about killing myself. I was so scared and so depressed that I lost all control of my life. This led to me making the worst mistake of my life, meeting someone and them grooming me. It started with a simple message, then it went into manipulation, then they did sexual acts to me. I was 17 at the time. I was desperate for someone to love me and to have care for me. But one day I realized, I was getting taken advantage of. Without my friends and then bf I wouldn't have made that callout post and to finally be free from them (if you are reading this, thank you, I'm still grateful even to this day you helped me and got me through it). Their effects on me lasted until March when I finally started to talk to my therapist about it and finally get it taken care of. I lost some friends at that time. I'll never forgive myself for what I did. But I realized that its okay for this to happen and shit to suck sometimes, you have to take the bad with the good, and sometimes to get to the end of the shitty ass tunnel of gloom and doom your ass need to run fast and work hard to get to the light outside. After that I decided to improve on my social skills after a falling out I had with a friend, I realized FINALLY in order for a relationship to work, both parties must be involved and also maybe dont rant to the other party without waring. Idk how I didn't know both of those things before but here we are. I ALSO realized that maybe I wasn't a man or a woman, maybe I'm a little bit of both.

After that life started to get sweater, my lil sis got better and was able to get home, she's still fighting cancer but she's kicking cancers ASS rn, I'm very proud of her. After a tough break-up I found a new partner that was the most caring gal in the world (oh yeah did i mention i found love? Life pretty goddamn crazy I know). Met a new irl friend (mittens hi) and have been interacting with them almost everyday, they are fun as hell to talk to. Also met a some online friends too!!!!! they are swagballs. Got a job thats pays extremely well (19 PER HOUR!?!?!?!?!). Overall, shits been banging. I'm still FAR from perfect, today wasn't so hot and I realized that maybe I need to work on actually being mature and work on my mental health a tiny bit more, but I still have my sick ass friends by my side to help me out. Maybe my life aint so terrible awful and gay after all. Maybe it wasn't about attention or validation, maybe it was about my ass getting some cool friends to share some interest with and for them to make me smile and make me feel all happy inside. You shouldn't go through this weird place called life alone, grab some friends they will make a journey funner. Damn my parents where right Blogs are fun to write. That's all for today, needed to get that out of my system, love u all! Have a good Night, Day, Noon, Whatever Until next time!

Song recommendation: House of Wolves by My Chemical Romance Great ass song, love the guitars and the rhythm is nice. Its a solid 9/10.

[highschool-rooftop]

oct. 27th, 2020

man its weird to think this blog is 2 years old isnt it? like when I started this i thought that i was anyday from just killing myself, i had no hope, no job, and was about to love my living situation but thanks to a few nice friends and accepting people, i was able to land a job at *generic sounding name for local seafood joint* and then after that place stressing me to the point of panic attacks and taking it out on the wait staff... then i ended things nice with that place despite how much i hated it and i apologized to the wait staff alot.. probably too much...

now ive worked at *big store chain* a year now and i hate it just as much as i hated *generic sounding name for local seafood joint* for a similar reason too!! i fucking despite the people that run the places i work because i know i could probably do their job 30× better, i just choose not to because thats also 30× more responsibility on my shoulders and ive already got broken legs from the shit i feel like im dealing with outside of work.

the more i focus for a minute the more i feel like my life is in shambles and that im barely functioning right anymore. ive been horribly depressed again as of the past couple months and my family i live with barely talk to me because im always in my room which is like totally fair, but if im not sleeping up there im using whatever energy is left from work to hang out with my friends because theyre actually engaged in the topics i talk about, they show interest and actually talk to me not at me. my aunt and uncle and i have few interests in common so its incredibly difficult for me to keep a conversation going for long with them. theyre always playing card games or board games but im not interested in them, theyre not really that fun for me. my uncle plays xbox but hes typically on COD which i dont enjoy because of how toxic those communities are, hes got minecraft but the last time he played he never told me he was getting on at all otherwise i would've joined! then theres me and my cousin who are currently on nearly completely different schedules and really only see each other when hes taking me to and from work which makes it hard to hang out and play games, and thats of hes even willing to play any of the games im comfortable with and not trying another Survival-Crafting-RPG-Game of the week or something like factorio which is hyper complicated and i dont have the time to dedicate to learning how to play correctly so i just end up being a resource collector and its kinda boring..

and all of thats just the at home situation. my friends at least hear from me more but since alot of them have moved out of town for college at this point i haven't hung out with a friend outside of work irl in like 5, maybe 6 months... and i dont interact with many people at work. im really really lonely.

small bit of good news i feel i should add here in case i dont come back again for a few months is that ive scheduled an appointment to see someone abt getting hrt, itll be Jan 19th! ill also be seeing a few of my online friends in December too!! i hope i can stay alive at least until then. sometimes i feel like im in the same situation i was in when i started this blog but those two things are the two things giving me the hope to keep pushing on i guess.

oh and my old friends birthday will be this weekend, i probably shouldve just forgotten them by now like they probably have me but in the off chance that they ever find this stupid blog: happy birthday BXXXXX, hope you have been in good health and that you are happy ! please be well and enjoy Freddy VS Jason and the Scary Godmother, and the live action Scooby Doo movies again this year !

with that i think thats all ive had to say. im neglecting mentioning new speaker of the house, Mike Johnson, and all the terrible horrible things i want to say abt him and how im worried it will fuck with my healthcare before i even recieve it due to the fact that im typing this up outside, its cold out, my phones almost dead, im tired, and i still have a bit of this bowl of the married iguanas to finish up with before unwinding and going to bed to repeat this living nightmare of a life all over again tomorrow. maybe ill watch adventure time before bed ..?

[plutonicmirror]

Sigh...it is almost 3 am for the third day in a row and I'm still unable to sleep. So I felt like rambling on a blogging platform.

I gave myself a one-week task and I keep running away from it by immersing myself way too deep into reading fanfiction of the (seemingly) first franchise I ever obsessed about.

And when I say immersed, I'm afraid it's borderline escapist. I've been slowly rereading the source material, taking notes on a .txt file so I can pinpoint scenes of my favorite characters and my favorite ship, and then I knowingly read more fictional versions of already fictional characters - and every single time I try to finally fall asleep I keep ruminating about the stories I just read. I don't know, it feels like I'm possessed. Almost treating those events and characterizations as if they were somewhat sort of real? Like I add more depth to them and think shit like "well yeah this is the darkest [character name] I've seen so far, and it makes sense, he was already kinda suicidal in canon" and so on. And I'd rather think about how clever this and that other author were for catching my entire attention with either a grim canon divergence retelling or a telenovela tier plot than think about my actual life. There is a good side, though, as I can proudly say I more or less quickly withdraw from my usual habits of looking up whatever the fuck that one guy is doing or sharing online whenever the thought arises.... but for how long will I keep that? I've fallen for that habit on and off more times than I can count with my hands. For how long will I run away from real life anyway? The one-week task is tied to a real life woman whom I may not have any attachment to, but I would certainly feel ashamed if I just neglect to do what she is paying me for. I guess I also don't want to dwell too much on how directionless I've been for the past 3 years (even when I had that stupid remote call center job), or how any time I think of a possible solution (that I actually dislike) I just get hit with constant reminders that I pretty much fucked up when I was 17, career wise.

Maybe as directionless as this post, because honestly just imagine all this bullshit rambling just to say that I'd rather read about my annie mays and mangos than about the sleep-inducing liberal and foucaultian definitions of the State...oh, and that I'm still pretty much scared of the future. But that one was happening way before I got obsessed about reading fanfics again.

[tenseoyong]

hey Liz it's been a bit some fun major updates...

I turned 21 last month. I'm medicated and stable for the first time in my life lmao. And I'm working at a lab; working towards my degree in Medical Technology. And I finally feel like a real adult and it's weird lol but I wanted to thank you for somewhat shaping me into who I am and teaching me to kinda just not give a shit over all these years lol. 💕

suuuuuuuper insanely late reply im so sorry!!!! definitely been neglecting my blog lol 😬😬

but!!! im so happy to hear an update!! it always amazes me to see how people following me for literal years grow and change and become less of a random blog on this website and more of a real human living their lives.

im so excited to hear that life is turning out better for you!! im thrilled you’re taking control of your mental health and bettering yourself, and that you’re furthering your career. i myself just got accepted into school, im taking a baby step into the medical world too, just starting out as an stna, im not entirely sure where i want to go from there but im excited either way!! and happy belated birthday!!!!

do coke back and keep me updated !! i love hearing from you guys, always happy to chat~~

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Update/Trip report 25ish

I have been... severely neglecting this blog. I'm sorry bruh I just now am starting to get out that weird ass funk I was in for the last weekish

My skin hasn't been getting any worse. I can't particularly tell if it's still yellower than it should be or if this is my normal tone but either way not tripping on it anymore. My eyes have nearly went back to their normal hue. The blood vessels in my eyes are a bit more visible but nothing too alarming

I am a lot less exhausted too. I went from sleeping in and lying around alllll day to my normal lazy routine. I don't do tooo much of anything anyway but I at least now have the energy to do other shit without passing out midway through

My acid reflux is weird to sum it up quick. I've been getting full a lot quicker than usual and me attempting to eat anymore than the little shit here and there I've been doing lately makes it hurt hurt.

Uh actually new symptom I've noticed is my heart hurting when I want dph. Well. Not like want.. need? Ig. Dunno. It's fairly new but my chest feels tight sometimes and I'll struggle to feel my heartbeat and I'd usually pop a few to get rid of it. Tho with me and R being otp a lot as of late I have had to be a lot more selective/careful with how much I take and when. I can play it off pretty well with damn near anyone else but my bsf can sniff it out at times. Plus, I'm a lot quieter in general when I'm high which is kinda problematic when I'm mostly otp to comfort/distract R. I wouldn't be all that useful for that if I'm preoccupied tryna play it cool

Me and R have been on the phone damn near everyday since her and her partner broke up. Well. Took a break? I dunno bruh to me I think not talking to your partner at all and actively ignoring them is a nonverbal breakup. Especially with all her health shit. I get the silent treatment and shit but letting that get bad enough where you aint checking in when she has life changing news flung on her is just blatantly showing you don't give a fuck which TO ME = breakup. I can understand a whole lotta disrespect but the moment you let it effect things to the point you're just.. not cooperating. Not bothering to make sure they're okay.. Completely stepping away from yall until you feel like allowing things to go back to how it was. That's a breakup. Plain and simple

Sorry slight tangent. I just.. it's unimaginable imo. I even bothered to do that much when I thought I was dying lmfao. I may've been slumped a good 75% of the time it ain't that hard to shoot a text and keep it moving. If im being real, I wasn't even gonna tell her I was fucked up but I knew it'd make her actually answer my damn texts. It feels.. slightly manipulative but I honestly don't even care I just needed to make sure she wasn't doing anything absurdly stupid.

Uh but yeh. Everyday damn near since as at first I'd be sleep so good I wouldn't notice she texted so she'd call me to make sure I wasn't like dead and shit. Then she'd keep me otp to ease her anxiety on that shit. Ya know. Like making sure if some shit did happen she'd immediately hear it. Then as I got back right I texted back more consistently and I figured we'd stop talking again but then she started doing entirely too much as far as getting high to not think and shit and she'd call cause she knew I knew what's normal and not you know? I'm sure it was partially so she wouldn't feel so lonely but I'm sure she only turned to me cause I wouldn't make too much of a fuss about her getting high. I mean like, course.. I'd prefer her not to do all that period but I know I really can't stop her completely rn. She's going through a lot rn and that's just how she deals with it. I know whether or not I press her on that she's taking em so I'd rather keep her from being too unsafe with it.

Now it's prolly just routine. And I can semi replace her partner as far as constantly being otp. I know she'd pick her over me if she could but for now I can at the very least fill the gap so she doesn't feel like her entire world is got snatched from under her. I know how it is to go from always having someone there to being completely alone (ish. we both have siblings and shit but course aint exactly the same) Shit is hard and it's so easy to spiral and feel like everything's wrong cause so much changes all at once. I feel gross and odd knowing that that's all I am. Shit is gonna be all gone soon as her partner comes back around. But honestly I'd rather just hold my tongue and deal with the reabandoning shit once it comes. No real reason to make her think about that rn she has enough on her plate as is

Actually otp rn lmao. Slightly salty off some shit she said about her partner and shit but.. is what it is tbh. I'm tryna stay quietish and type loudish so she will think I'm just not talking much cause I'm focused on this. I know if I talk rn my voice'll prolly give it away so I'm tryna chill out with this stuff.

Uh but. As for trip report 25. I took 150 last night and passed out not realizing it. Was not the plan at all but not too mad. I woke up forgetting I took it tho no real consequences from that. My heart kinda hurts tho so I might pop a few extra rq. Dunno.

I'm gonna stop that there tho.. I don't wanna be too quiet and have her figure it out that way lol. I think Ima semi tell about this blog but not fully fully as it'd be an EXTREMELY stupid decision on my end lmfao

[byersfreaked]

#𝙱𝚈𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙵𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙺𝙴𝙳   :   a   jonathan  byers   sideblog  for  the  character  featured  in  netflix’s  stranger  things,  season one personality - focused,  semi - canon  compliant.     headcanon heavy.     very private and low effort side to clericlost.     tentatively made 05/29/22.     flimed by jean,  22,  they/them,  cst.

rules.     dossier.     notes.     pinterest.

a few scattered notes about my portrayal  :

-   you do not need to be following my main  to follow and interact with me over here.     however,  i do require that i be following you from there before interaction.

-   i write jon as transmasc and using he/they pronouns.     writing from his pov,  i will often use either.     jonathan doesn’t really care about pronouns as long as they aren’t she/her,  but it’s unlikely your muse will even know they is an option unless they ask and/or he feels comfortable enough to tell them.     he knew this about himself for as long as he can remember even having a vague concept of gender,  and at first,  even lonnie didn’t mind having a  ‘ tomboy ’  for a kid until the kid asked joyce if it’d be okay if he was a boy.     joyce told him he could be whatever he wanted to be--   he’d always be her kid,  and lonnie blew a gasket and fucked off years down the road anyway.     will never really knew jonathan as anyone other than his older brother,  jon’s appearance and mannerisms barely batting an eye over time and starting when will was so little.    the details of when and how will learns this about his brother in more concrete terms is up for plotting !

-   for obvious socioeconomic reasons,  jonathan has always and still simply binds.

-   regarding characterization  :  i’m personally drawn to the season one version of him.     pretty awkward but in an almost who - gives - a - fuck kind of way,  spends most of his time with his headphones on and taking pictures of whatever catches his eye.     it’s hard to put my finger on what exactly,  but i feel like later seasons kind of forgot jon’s. . .   awkwardness ?     maybe his temper ?     cynicism ?     it does smooth over a little after all the upsidedown shit,  as well as the personal growth he encounters just associating with people he wouldn’t have ever really chosen to on purpose   [  nancy,  steve,  his kid brother’s little friends  ],  but my portrayal will stick closer to season one’s font of him,  with elbow room of more canon and headcanon - ed development. 

-   regarding j.ancy  :  i don’t hate them even if i hate the way they got together,  but i won’t assume ships unless we’ve specified them beforehand !     i’m always cool with plotted or pre - established memes as long as we communicate,  though my take on jancy is that   [  unless otherwise plotted  ]   the canon version of them is something jonathan kinda rolled with by season two because it felt like something he should do.     that’s absolutely not to say he doesn’t care for nancy,  or even love her,  but that he truly hasn’t dug around for much depth beyond the fact that they obviously liked one another,  so why not be together ?     nancy is honestly his first serious relationship with anybody long term.     it’s only by the end of season three and the continuation in season four that circumstances obviously prompt jon to think on he and nancy’s relationship more,  whether it makes or breaks them.     while this is all my general spin on canon events,  this will not apply for every nancy.     every portrayal of nancy is different and if i ship with them,  it will reflect just as uniquely !

-   speaking of ships,  jon is also bi :)

-   due to the nature of jonathan’s upbringing as well as st in general,  there will be potentially triggering content on this blog,  mostly involving  :  child abuse / neglect,  depression and anxiety,  c - ptsd,  general horror,  as well as smoking / drug use,  but nothing crazier than nicotine or marijuana. 

[sugamamacustard]

Come see me

Pairing: Alpha! Tetsuro Kuroo X Omega! Reader

Genre: Minor Angst, but other than that, fluffy cuddle piles. 

Request: Hi kinda nervous to request this since I'm very shy but..Is it okay to request a scenario where omega reader is feeling very insecure and jealous after idk like some new person comes in the pack and everyone is paying attention to them and reader feels very neglected but keeps quiet, starts spending more time with their friends and avoids the pack and their alpha. And then the pack plus alpha notices and drags reader back, and reassures them, and the entire pack cuddles and hug reader. Kinda like angst to fluff. Could be any team and any alpha. Though I prefer kuroo and nekoma. Sorry if it's too long I've always wanted an imagine like this. You don't have to do it if you don't wanna tho! I was just asking :)Have a good day💜

Summary:  Being a manager for Nekoma was a thankless job, but one you were proud to do. You were surrounded by alphas who wanted what was best for you and in turn, you wanted what was best for them. However, sometimes what’s best for them...may not be best for you or your omega.

Warnings: Jealous omega! reader, reader almost goes into an omega depression, small angst,

Author’s Note: No need to be shy, darling! This is my first request for this blog so I’m super excited to write this and to fulfill my first request.!

Requests: Open!

Tetsuro Kuroo

➵ Originally, the idea of another manager for the Nekoma team excited you.

➵ You were really pumped to have an extra set of hands on board to help keep scores, or pick up balls, or put up and take down nets. 

➵ To have someone else to joke and laugh with on the sidelines while Yaku was yelling at Lev, or to assist you in prying Kenma’s switch from his hands so he can eat.

➵ Having another manager seemed like such a good idea. A new friend for the pack. 

➵ Until it wasn’t. 

➵ Ichika was a kind and sweet girl in class 2-B (You were in 2-D), and originally you and her got along well.

➵ Your omega didn’t outright hate her, more of an indifference, and your personalities melded well together.

➵ And from what you’ve heard from her friends, she talked about the boys on the volleyball team a lot.

➵ So you figured she would be a good fit. 

➵ However, you weren’t certain on it anymore.

➵ Maybe she was too good of a fit. 

➵ ‘You’re being silly’ You told yourself. 

➵ ‘She’s getting to know the team, that’s all’ You practically chanted in your head like a mantra.

➵ ‘She’s honing in on our pack. Our alpha.’ Your omega sneered, padding in a circle before flopping down, growling lowly.  You tried reminding her that Kuroo was nothing more than a captain. 

➵ An attractive captain who who you found yourself finding every opportunity in the book to talk too. But that was fine print. 

➵ He was not your alpha. He was the commanding alpha of the volleyball team, but not yours. 

➵ And maybe that was what hurt most. Knowing you had Zero claim on anyone in the pack, therefore you had no right to demand the attention.

➵ They gave their attention to who they wanted. 

➵ Even if nowadays, it seemed to be Ichika more and more often then not. 

➵ It hurt, when you both would be sitting on the sidelines and Inuoka would brush right past you to chat with Ichika.

➵ Or when you both would be passing out towels and water bottles and they only thanked her. 

➵ It began hurting to the point you had to bite down whines or whimpers. Your omega was upset, therefore you were even more upset. But they seemed happy,

➵ Who were you to ruin that? 

➵ Just because you saw them as pack, doesn’t mean they saw you in the same light. 

➵ You tried pushing away that god awful thought, but it was planted and nothing was moving it. 

➵ And whether you noticed it or not, you were acting on that thought.

➵ You didn’t stay after practice for anyone, instead cleaning up quickly and efficiently while the boys were in the change room. 

➵ Leaving behind your notes for that day’s practice along with the gym keys right in front of the door. 

➵ You didn’t wait for anyone and took a different way home so no-one would try to walk with you.

➵ You needed to separate from them, even if it hurt. Even if you cried on the way home. Even if you stayed in your nest from the minute you got home to the minute you had to leave for school the next day.

➵ Even if your meals got smaller and smaller. 

➵ You never sat with the team anymore, Ichika taking your spot like she belonged there. 

➵ Instead you sat with a group of friends from your class. They never asked any questions, which you were thankful for. 

➵ You began wearing scent blocking patches to hide your scent, hide the sour note that almost always accompanied it. 

➵ You just...tried to disappear. You still fulfilled your manager duties as you always did, but never more. 

➵ Never gave words of encouragement. No pointers on how to improve. No jokes on Lev’s behalf. No nothing. 

➵ And holy shit, that Irked Kuroo. 

➵ He was always so excited for practices at the end of the day because that was when he would get to show off in front of you. 

➵ Prove he was a strong alpha. 

➵ He would admit, he liked you...A lot. He was even working on a future courting gift (It was a bracelet with intricate beading that looked almost like a cuff) but was having a few difficulties so couldn’t gift it to you yet.

➵ However, you were pulling away. 

➵ Away from him. Away from the pack. Just away. 

➵ You barely even glanced their way anymore.

➵ During practice, you just sat there, completed homework, then took notes. He never saw you after that.

➵ He tried to pack up as fast as he possibly could at the end of practice but was always late. You were always, without fail, gone. No trace of you ever being there except the notes you left in your wake with the keys. 

➵ His alpha kept barking at him to stop you. To come up with any excuse to keep you here long enough for him to walk you home in the very least. But you were always gone.

➵ He tried everything, but you seemed one step ahead of him. 

➵ His alpha blamed Ichika. Ever since she showed up you began pulling away.

➵ Were you jealous? Were you angry with them for trying to keep her away?

➵ They only put up with her because it was obvious you didn’t like her. So they tried keeping her away. 

➵ Was that backfiring on them? 

➵ Kuroo didn’t even know why there was another manager. You were perfect for them. Like a puzzle piece. Their personal cheerleader. 

➵ Maybe school was piling on you?

➵ No. You always went to him for help.

➵ Maybe the duties were too much?

➵ No because you were still doing them all.

➵ Come to think of it, what was Ichika even doing? 

➵ She did nothing except fawn over them and purr over their skills, which was nice for the ego boost at first, but soon just got annoying when she tried scenting them.

➵ It seemed she was fixated on him especially, trying to rub her neck all over him only for him to push her off with a growl. He had only scented two people in his life. 

➵ Kenma, because he needed the practice, and you, which was why he practiced. 

➵ And he planned to keep it that way. 

➵ But you were still staying away. So he scented no one. 

➵ The final straw was a Friday practice. 

➵ You were sitting a ways a way in the corner, doing your work with your jacket wrapped in front of you like a boundary. 

➵ His heart hurt at the thought of you feeling the need to recluse yourself like this.

➵ He made a motion to Kenma, his co-commanding alpha, who nodded before making his way to you. 

➵ As he should’ve predicted, Ichika intercepted him. She tried to hug him, but he dodged, side stepping and trying to get to you, but she persisted.

➵ “Why don’t you give me the same attention you give her, huh? Rumor has it she’s been bordering on dropping for days, nothing but attention seeking in my humble opinion.”

➵   He paused in his efforts, looking down to her once more.

➵ “I’m sorry?” 

➵ Ichika rolled her eyes. “It’s been all over school. Surprised you haven’t heard. She skips lunch more often than not, nowadays. People have even started bets as to when she finally drops. Real shame though. Gonna miss having someone else do all the work.”

➵ You were missing lunches. Lunches were meals he could guarantee you ate, and you suddenly weren’t doing so anymore. He was failing you.

➵ You were dropping right under their noses and as your pack they were watching it happen. 

➵ As your head alpha, and hopefully future alpha, he was watching you drift away and ultimately fade from him.

➵ He was watching this happen?!

➵ What part of this was okay?! None of it. 

➵ He was loosing you. Hell, if he hadn’t lost you already. 

➵ No. You were here, at school, He still had time. He still had a chance. He still had- his jacket and bento. 

➵  Turning tail, the alpha made his way to his bag, digging out the bento (Come to think of it, he hadn’t been eating much since this whole debacle started anyway) and grabbing his jacket before making his way to you once more.

➵ He didn’t pay any mind to Ichika, this time fully shoving past her to get to you. 

➵ You looked up to him skeptically, watching as the alpha, the head alpha, bent to lay on his knees, slowly putting the bento on his jacket and sliding it in front of you. 

➵ Your heart and mind were going a mile a minute as you watched the commanding fucking alpha of the pack, bow to you. Ask for your permission to get close to you. 

➵ What-

➵ “Hi?”

➵ Kuroo said nothing in return, only lowering his chin to the ground, looking up to you. Almost waiting for you to allow him closer. 

➵ When you said nothing he motioned towards the bento with a nod of his head. He was almost like a pup with how minimal his actions were. 

➵ When you slowly took the bento, he raised in time with the box, watching you open it. when you popped a small bit of rice into your mouth. He purred loudly, slowly inching closer. He laid his jacket over yours, adding another layer to your barrier, which you slowly moved to allow him in. 

➵ He crawled into your space, slowly moving your books and bag to nuzzle into your neck. You allowed him to, eating more rice-- which seemed to appease him. 

➵ One by one, more of the teammates came by, offering their jackets to your now makeshift nest, joining in on the cuddle pile. 

➵ All but Ichika, who seemed to angrily stomp about while cleaning up the few stray volleyballs. 

➵ But you didn’t really care about her at this point. 

➵ Your omega was at peace, especially with the alpha you’ve been pinning after purring into your neck, scenting you and pressing small kisses to your neck.

➵ This was your pack. Your home.

➵ And they wouldn’t let you fall behind. 

[nashibirne]

Wuthering Heights

Okay, guys, here's another little August story, that got inspired by this question by the lovely @a-little-counter-esperanto Thanks for giving me the idea, hun 💜 It was supposed to be a short drabble but it got a little out of hand. Hope you're going to like it. If so, please leave me a comment, reblog or like 🤗

Pairing: August Walker x reader

Summary: August Walker overhears an interesting conversation and he can't help but offer his services to a woman in need...

Words: 3.8 k (heavens...that kinda escalated)

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, sex, smut, vaginal sex, oral sex, fingering, mentioning of sexual frustration and orgasm problems, ons, language, soft August!

UNBETA'ED! English is not my mother tongue, so expect bad grammar, wrong spelling, chaotic punctuation and clumsy language. All mistakes are mine…

Credits: pics for the header from pinterest, credits to the owners

Find my other stuff here -> Masterlist

Taglist

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81 @emelinelovesjc @wheretheriversrunintothesea @lam0ureuxq @kingliam2019

So... Hammer time!

*************

"I just can't get off."

The soft voice coming from the booth behind him sounded desperate. He hadn't paid much attention to the mumbled conversation up to now, but these words made him prick up his ears. August Walker usually wasn't a nosy parker but in this case curiosity got the better of him.

He was pretty sure that the two women weren't aware of his presence. He'd already been sitting in his booth, having a whiskey, doing some research on a suspect on his laptop when they had entered the bar. They had been talking non stop, unnerving him with their constant mix of giggling and indignation and he was just about to leave when this one short sentence convinced him to stay just a little bit longer. He closed his laptop and leaned back against the soft, chocolate brown upholstery of the booth, trying to understand what the frustrated woman and her friend were talking about.

"Oh thanks, Patty. Yes, I'm sure I'm not frigid."

"Hey, no offense, y/n. It's just... sometimes it's a pathological state when you can't enjoy sex."

"But that's the point. I do enjoy sex, I get aroused, I'm often close to the edge but I'm just not able to come, no matter how hard I try. No matter how hard Jake tried. Well...if he tried. Most of the time he didn't give a shit about my satisfaction."

"So you ditched him because he's a bad lover?"

"No, I ditched him because he's a douchebag and a cheater."

"It's sad that it took you almost two years to realize that."

"Don't even start...I know…"

Poor woman, August thought. An asshole ex and no orgasm in two years, that sounded as frustrating as tragic. What kind of man kept his woman unsatisfied for two years? She was starved of a good fuck, that much was clear and someone should give her a god damn orgasm. But wait..someone? No, an expert. A man with the right knowledge, skills and the best possible equipment.

When he heard "Patty" excuse herself and leave the table, August got up from his seat, his laptop in one hand and the whiskey tumbler in the other. He slid into the booth opposite of the neglected woman smoothly with a sly grin.

"Hi", he said.

The face that stared at him with surprise matched her warm, pleasant voice. She was no outstanding beauty, not a real eye catcher, but she was quite pretty and had an appeal.

"Hi?" The question mark was visible on her face. "Can I help you?"

"No, but I can probably help you", August said with a generous smile.

"How's that?"

"Well, I couldn't avoid overhearing your little conversation about your problem and I think I can help you with that."

"My problem?" Her beautiful eyes got wide and filled with horror when the realization set in. Heat flooded her cheeks and her voice was trembling when she spoke.

"Listen... whoever you are and whatever you think you've heard, it's none of your business and most of all not an invitation to...to…to…", she was stammering now, her eyes full of fury and embarrassment.

"To help you?" He completed her sentence with a friendly nod of his head.

"I neither want your help nor do I need it."

"Okay, I understand that you are surprised and that I may come across a little straightforward," he leaned over the table that separated them, "but this seems like a case of emergency, I mean...two years? You must be close to exploding with pent-in lust."

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, sweetheart, but we both know it's true and we don't have much time, your friend will be back soon so I won't beat around the bush and get straight to the point. You think you can't get off but I guarantee you I can make you cum. Tonight. If that's what you want, visit me in my hotel. I'll be waiting for you in my suite at the Hilton two blocks from here. Room number 727." He grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss on her knuckles, that was so sensual and promising, it made her shiver. He got up and straightened the jacket of his suit, flashing her a bright smile. "You won't regret it." The smirk that followed his words was sexy and cocky and the way she stared at him, her eyes tinted black, her lips slightly parted, left him confident that he wouldn't have to spend the night alone.

******

"Are you nuts? You can't do that. You don't even know his name. That pervy eavesdropper could be a serial killer, y/n."

Patty had done her best to convince her to be reasonable and forget about the handsome stranger but it had been useless and now she was really standing in front of room 727 wondering what the actual hell she was doing therr. It was totally crazy and foolish to hook up with a complete stranger just like that, without knowing anything about him. But then again, every one night stand with a random guy was kind of a risk, no matter how. What was the worst thing that could possibly happen -besides getting murdered by a psycho? Bad sex and no orgasm. She knew the feeling and she would easily survive another disappointment. The best that could happen was great sex plus an orgasm and that was a feeling she didn't know but she desperately wanted to. If there was just the slightest chance that he could give her that, she was willing to give it a shot. She would cum tonight or die trying. Well…not literally of course. She hoped.

God, what was she going to say to him? Maybe he would do most of the talking or maybe they wouldn't talk at all. She took a deep breath and was just about to knock when the door swung open and the handsome stranger was standing in the doorway with a smirk.

"Are you gonna come in or were you planning to spend the night on the door mat?" He stepped aside and let her in with an inviting gesture.

"How did you know…", she looked at him flabbergasted.

"I heard your heels clicking on the floor, coming down the corridor, stopping right in front of my room ten minutes ago, so…" He shrugged his shoulders, cocking his head slightly with a hint of a smile.

"Oh. Yes. Of course."

She felt silly and self-conscious all of the sudden, staring at her feet.

"Please, take a seat." He pointed at a cosy looking armchair and she sat down, her body stiff as a board.

August knew this was going to be difficult, she was so tense it almost hurt watching her, but he loved a good challenge. "Champagne?" He grabbed the bottle from the ice bucket and took two champagne flutes from the table, waving them in the air.

She nodded and looked around the room while he opened the bottle to fill their glasses. It was a luxurious suite, impersonal as any other hotel room, revealing nothing about him. Classical music was playing softly in the background, fresh flowers filled the air with a heavy, sensual scent. She glanced at the bed - King size, satin sheets, plush cushions, condoms lying on the bedside table. She gulped and a shudder ran through her body, arousing pleasure between her legs and a thrilling kind of fear in her head. What was he going to do to her? With her?

The cork popped from the bottle with a loud plonk, interrupting her thoughts. It hit the ceiling and the sparkling liquid bubbled from the bottle. She laughed out loud, finally easing up a little, taking the glass from his hands with a shy smile.

"Thanks."

"Thank you for showing up. My name is August, by the way. August Walker. Cheers y/n." He raised his glass and gave her a nod that she returned.

"So, August...is this a normal thing for you to do? To offer free orgasms to strangers at a bar?" She took a sip and gave him a curious look that made him chuckle. "Orgasms? Already becoming greedy, princess? I was talking about one, as far as I remember."

He raised an eyebrow and gave her an irresistible wink.

"Oh, so the first one is for free and I'm gonna have to pay for more? Is this some kind of business model? You spend your nights at bars, eavesdropping conversations and then you offer your services? Are you a gigolo?"

"What? No, of course not", he shook his head in surprise, put off by her question. "I'm not an escort. The thought alone is ridiculous."

"Really? So you do this just for altruistic motives? A selfless man who helps a desperate woman with her sexual frustration?"

"I'm not a bit selfless, believe me", he said slowly with a cocky smirk. August put away his glass and approached her smoothly like a big cat, towering over her before he caged her in the chair with his hands on the back rest, one on each side of her head. His gaze was intense but she held it.

"This is gonna give me as much pleasure as you. When you cum, moaning my name when you orgasm, shaking and whimpering with pleasure, I'm gonna get off too by the look on your face when I make you come undone. And for the record, if I was a gigolo, I wouldn't do this…"

He leaned in slowly, never breaking eye contact, stopping for a split second before he brushed his lips against hers. He cupped her face, caressing her burning cheeks with his thumbs. She couldn't help but close her eyes with a sigh. This man had an appeal, so magnetic, so irresistible, she started to wonder if she was just having the hottest dream of her life, but when he kissed her tenderly, she knew this was real. His lips were soft and so was his kiss. There was no pressure in it, it wasn't demanding, it was a promise, a glimpse of what was waiting for her if she decided to embark on this erotic adventure. And she did. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to deepen the kiss. He kneeled down in front of her, between her legs and grabbed her by her waist to pull her closer. They made out for what felt like a sensual eternity, their kisses slow and sloppy, teasing and playful, making her moan into his mouth. He pulled away and smiled at her. "You like that, huh?" he smirked, taking her silence for a yes. "Before we continue, I want to address some basic questions, if that's okay for you."

"Yes, of course," she nodded at him, moving closer to the edge of her seat.

"First of all, this is going to be a one-off. I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm not up for romance."

"Me neither. I just got out of a relationship, I intend to enjoy my single life for a good while." He could tell by the way she held his gaze, that she was telling the truth.

"Good. Secondly, I need you to talk to me. Tell me what you like, when I touch you. Tell me what you want me to do. But most of all, tell me when I do something you don't like. Feel free to say no, whenever you want."

"Got it."

"Okay. But what's most important, I want you to know that you are allowed to let go, without worrying about me. I'm going to enjoy this, believe me. More than you can imagine. Just allow me to please you and don't hold back. Don't be ashamed of your desire, let me see your passion and let me show you how good it feels to be fucked by August Walker."

She didn't answer, she just kissed him again, feverishly this time. "Show me", she whispered.

"I'd love to."

He kissed her back, still kneeling in front of her and she couldn't stop wondering if this position was uncomfortable for him. If he'd rather get up and lay down on the bed. She tried to enjoy his touch, the sensation of this unbelievably attractive man letting his hands glide up her legs slowly, his thumbs running along the inside of her jeans but her brain just wouldn't shut up.

His fingers reached the hem of her blouse now and he started to unbutton it, bit by bit, taking his time. "You're alright?" He seemed to sense her tenseness and looked at her with a frown.

"Sure. And you?"

He stripped her blouse off with a lewd smirk. She wore a plain white bra that made her look pure and innocent, just the way August liked it. He loved turning an immaculate Holy Mary into a sinful Mary Magdalene. August pressed a gentle kiss on her neck, sucking the sensitive flesh lightly, making her sigh. "You are delicious", he murmured, his breath hot against her skin.

He followed her gaze that fell on the floor where he was kneeling. "I'm caged between the legs of a beautiful woman. Never been better, princess."

"Here", he kissed her collarbone while he freed her breasts from the bra, "and here", another kiss followed, "and here…"

She moaned when he kissed her tit, circling the nipple with his tongue before sucking on it. She ran her fingers through his thick, dark hair bucking her hips involuntarily. The heat between her legs, her throbbing sex, the raw arousal that flooded her body, all this made it impossible to sit still. August caressed her boobs, kissing his way down to her navel. He opened the fly of her jeans and pulled it down together with her panties. He got up, took her by her hands and dragged her up to stand so she could step out of her clothes.

They kissed again and August started exploring her body with his fingertips inch by inch.

"This feels very good," she whispered in a hoarse voice.

"Yes, it does. Your skin is so soft…", he said and it turned her on to see the arousal in his eyes, the arousal she caused. She gasped when she felt his hand between her legs, his fingers sliding through her folds. "Jesus, woman, you are wet…I can't wait to taste you. Sit down."

She bit her lip and smirked, gaining more confidence with every minute.

She sat down on the bed and looked at him expectantly. His hard-on was clearly visible in his pants and she couldn't help but stare at the impressive bulge. August grinned, grabbing his boner through the fabric, making her see the outlines of his cock.

"See? This is what you do to me just by letting me touch you. Like it?"

"Yeah." She touched him, placing her hand on his dick. "Please, undress too."

August nodded and got rid of his clothes slowly, taking his time, stripping off each piece with a teasing grin. She stared at his naked body in awe. He was sculpted like a greek god, his broad chest hairy and his cock big and simply perfect.

"Lean back, princess."

She obeyed without hesitation, closing her eyes. When she felt his lips on her pussy she flinched. She had expected him to eat her out and it felt great but she kept thinking about those silly details. She hadn't shaved down there in a while, what if he found it gross that her vag was hairy? Did he like her smell? She knew one of her lips was bigger than the other, maybe he found her lady parts ugly?

She moaned when his tongue circled around her clit. This felt so good, no man had ever eaten her out like that.

"God…yes."

He lifted his head and gave her a reassuring smile, an innocent smile, all while shoving his fingers into her body.

"I knew you'd enjoy this."

He kissed her sex again and sucked her clit while his fingers were fucking her teasingly slow. She got closer to the edge, her moans getting louder but when his mouth made a sloppy noise, her thoughts started to run again. Was she too wet? Did he find it disgusting? Did he do this just for her, forcing himself through it? She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to let go again, moaning louder though she didn't feel it anymore.

August sensed that something was off. She wasn't relaxed anymore, he could feel and hear it.

"Talk to me, princess. Still feeling good? What do you need me to do? I could go on with this for hours but I'm up for anything."

"I want to touch you."

He gave her a smug smile and climbed on the bed, plopping down beside her. "I'm all yours." His kiss started the next hot round of making out and her hands roamed all over his body till they found his rock hard cock. She caressed him gently and his soft moans encouraged her to go on, to jerk him off. It was a great turn on for her to see how much he enjoyed her actions, how soon he became a panting and grunting mess under her touch. Her pussy was dripping with arousal and she wanted to feel him deep inside of her.

"Please…", she whimpered, "please fuck me."

"God, yes, just gimme a second."

August took one of the condoms and put it on in record time before he got on top of her with one smooth motion, grabbing his dick, rubbing it all over her pussy.

"You want my cock?"

"Yes."

"Inside your pretty cunt?"

"Yes."

"Sure you can take it?"

Her eyes grew wide, dark with lust and desire.

"No, but please...make me take it."

He grinned one of those sexy grins.

"Do you want me to be rough?" She gasped when he slapped her clit with his dick, surprised by how much she liked it.

"Or do you want me to be gentle?" He rubbed her slit with the tip of his cock, from her entrance to her clit and back again, and it felt sensational. Tension was building within her core, a hot promise of release and pleasure.

"Gentle", she whispered and he obeyed. He penetrated her slowly, giving her time to adjust and to stretch, filling her inch by inch.

"Look at you princess, taking my hammer so well, so greedy..."

"I...I...god…" She didn't find the words to describe the sensation, she just enjoyed the feeling of being stretched, the thought of her body being conquered by him and when he finally started to move she let out a hoarse moan.

"Baby, can you do me a favor?" he said breathlessly.

"Christ, you feel so good, princess. So tight, so hot, so sexy…". He kissed her, grinding his pelvis against hers, fucking her deep and slow, hugging her tightly. His lower abdomen was rubbing against her clit and just when she was so very close to reaching her high, when she felt that it was possible to come, she started worrying again. Maybe he would rather fuck her rough, like he'd offered? Was it good for him like this? And just like that she was far away from the edge of heaven again. A frustrated sigh escaped her lips and again August realized immediately that she wasn't relaxed anymore, but he wasn't willing to give up that easily, there were many ways to make her cross the finish line.

"What?"

"Ride me. Ride my bull. I just love it that way."

He turned on his back and pulled her on top of him.

"Move, princess, please. Use my dick, milk it, let me see your tits…"

He was panting heavily now and when she started to ride him he couldn't help but moan louder and louder. Jesus, this sweet princess was a wild cowgirl, and damn, she knew how to ride. It was spectacular to watch her. How she moved on him, her eyes squeezed shut, her tits bouncing, her breath going fast.

"Yes... that's it, baby. God…"

He didn't have to fake his lust, she was driving him nuts, keeping him on the edge, grinding her pussy against him. When she moved faster, head bent back, whimpering with pleasure he knew she was close and so was he. She rode him harder now, increasing pressure, and the tingling sensation inside her pussy made her sigh lustfully. This was the best sex of her entire life. To hear this gorgeous man moan, to feel how he was getting closer and closer, the sensation of his huge cock inside her pussy, it made her feel incredibly confident and powerful.

"Fuck... your cunt...y/n…it feels so fucking good around my dick…"

She leaned forward, supporting herself with her hands on his chest, rolling her hips with powerful motions. That was it, she felt the pressure inside her core increase, the jolts of electricity that ran through her spine right into her clit.

Those weren't the last orgasms of the night. Now that she knew she could do it, she wanted more and August delivered again. And again. When they finally fell asleep they were both exhausted but very satisfied.

"I'm close...I...I….", and then it happened, one last move sent her over the edge. It felt like exploding, her pussy clenched around his cock and her whole body got stiff, her muscles contradicted before all tension disappeared and they finally felt all loose. "Fuck... August!"

His name on her lips, while she rode out her orgasm was music to his ears. He had watched her cum with delight, enjoying the sight of her face when she climaxed and the feeling of her cunt milking his dick. He grabbed her by her hips and forced her down onto his cock, ramming it into her pussy with a few hard thrusts that made him cum too. He moaned her name, bucking his hips, arching his back in ecstasy when his orgasm swept him away.

The next morning seemed unreal to y/n. She felt incredibly relaxed and confident, full of energy despite the lack of sleep. The only thing missing was August, her knight in shiny armour who had given her the first real orgasm of her life, but she wasn't surprised to find him gone. He had told her he had to catch an early flight. She sighed and got up to go to the loo. When she was washing her hands afterwards, she smiled when she looked into the mirror above the sink. Seven words and seven numbers, written with her lipstick, made her giggle and beam with joy and anticipation.

In case of sexual emergency call 555-1777! August

*******

[soupbabe]

Part 4 Characters Reacting to You Saying That You Can Hold The World in Your Hands and Then Holding Their Face

One lengthy ass title, but I've seen this concept from multiple blogs and that shit is so cute?? I live for cheesy fluff so much

~ Josuke Higashikata~

You were hanging out in Josuke's living room, watching him play videogames

It was fun for a while, but 10 min in you got bored and decided to mess with your boyfriend, who blushes easily

"Hey Josuke, I wanna show you something! " You quickly scooted yourself in front of him, not really caring about the game over screen going off in the background

"Hey! C'mon, what's so important that you couldn't wait?" You looked at him with a mischievous smile, "I can hold the world in my hands! " You proceeded to squish his face between your palms and you could see his face turn a light shade of pink and a dorky smile spread across

I don't care if this sounds out of character, dude is the type of guy to say "Aw shucks" unironically. That's exactly how he responds

Did you tease him about his response? Absolutely. Did he get you to stop laughing at him by kissing the tip of your nose? Of course

~Okuyasu Nijimura~

You both were walking around after a date at Tonio's and were goofing off

"Hey Oku, did you know I can fit the entire world in my hands?" "Sorry to break it to you Y/N, but I don't think that's possible. " Queue the plopping your hands gently on Okuyasu's face. "No, look, you're wrong!"

It took him like 5 whole minutes of him trying to understand until he actually got it.

"Huh? Oh,,,OH AWEE BABY THATS SO SWEET" Okuyasu brought you in a bone crushing hug, crying about how that's the cutest thing someone ever told him

He brought his hands up to your face and scattered kisses all over to show extra appreciation

~ Rohan Kishibe ~

Rohan isn't a man to get easily flustered so lately you've been trying to get him off guard and hope for a blush, maybe stutter if you're lucky

It was one of those rare occasions where you were able to get Rohan to take a break from his work and just have him relax with you while you're watching TV

Maybe while in this peaceful atmosphere you could catch him off guard and get him to blush

Quickly you turned towards the artist and held his face in your hands and with a giddy smile you say "I can't believe it, I can fit the entire world in my hands!"

He just kinda deadpanned and with a smushed face "Darling what are you doing? That sounds so cheesy too"

Mission failed. We'll get em next time

In the middle of pouting over your failed attempt, you missed the silent laugh that Rohan made at your statement

~Jotaro Kujo~

Please don't do this I feel like you'd end up causing an accidental ptsd flashback once you say "the world."

~Yoshikage Kira~

Everyday he managed to fit in you and him time before he gets dressed for work and that's usually just you two cuddling and good morning kisses

You were someone who filled up the housewife/househusband role in the relationship, so you savored these moments knowing you wouldn't be able to see him that much throughout the day

"Sweetheart, want to know something fascinating? I can fit the entire world in my hands." It was then you gently cupped his face and gazed into his eyes lovingly. "See?"

Yoshikage gave a small chuckle and held onto your soft hands, soaking up the attention your hands gave him

It wasn't until you tried to move your hands, Yoshikage gripped onto them. Not too harsh, but just enough to keep them there

"No no, keep them there. Let's just stay like this."

~ Yukako Yamagishi ~

You both are a pda couple, typically the cheesy romantic lines and gestures came from Yukako though

But pulling stuff like this wasn't uncommon and you usually said things like that when she gets upset by something

She could be fuming and all you have to do is not even say anything, just gently hold her like you're in a romantic novel and she's already better

"Awe sweetheart, you're my entire world too! I love you so much!"

Neat. Now you're the one being doted on and being squeezed by your surprisingly strong girlfriend

If anyone laughed at or looked at your failed attempt at being the romantic one in the relationship weirdly, she will threaten them and force them to encourage you to do more like that for her :)

~ Toshikazu Hazamada ~

Shh lowkey based off of a headcanon that Hazamada does enjoy drawing a lot and one of his inspirations was Rohan (before Rohan's episode tho)

You were at Hazamada's house, hanging out in his room while he sits at his desk drawing something in his sketchbook

While he was busy, you were giving some affection to his stand, using Surface as a temporary cuddle buddy and using it to give it's user some attention while he's stressing over each hand he draws

Don't get me wrong, you love Toshikazu, but it was getting annoying how often he seemed to neglect giving you proper attention and leaving his stand to do the work for him

"Hey Kazu, look I can hold the world in my hands!" You held the wooden stand close to you and giving it a lil cheek kiss, knowing it was a pet peeve of his when you give too much of your time to his stand rather than himself

Hazamada really went 👁️👄👁️ when the dummy even made a laughing motion at him "B-but why not me!? Am I not your world!?"

"Huh? Oh yea, don't worry honey. I still love you, but right now Surface gets the special boyfriend privileges since it pays attention to me."

[dreaminginvelaris]

A Response to a Feyre Anti

I made a post recently explaining the dread of having to watch Feyre be abused by her sisters and father, in the Tv adaption. And a Feyre anti made a response, to something that should not be criticized at all considering what I said was just the truth? Feyre was abused. Not only that but they went on and completely twisted the narrative to fit their own ideas and in the process made Feyre out to be cruel and Nesta a saint. complete bull.

I will not be tagging the anti bc they have me blocked (shocker), but also I do not want anyone to go after them, if you come across the post, I don't want it to be through me. it's as much respect I can give to them.

I usually do not respond to those who have something to say with a post of mine or are blatantly talking about me on their blog, unless they're just spreading absolute lies about me or what i "said", it's usually a waste of time to do so. but this post attacked Feyre with outrageous lies and a complete backward interpretation of what actually happened in acotar, so as respectful as I can be, I will be analyzing the anti-response and what truly happened in acotar.

"the audience will only see two sisters fighting-not abuse" "it’s not Nesta you need to worry about. It’s audiences calling Feyre a big dumbass and a bitch" -from anti

if the audience has basic human compassion and empathy for humans IRL or fictional, they will see what's obvious from the start. Feyres abuse. how is it going to look, when they see Feyre walking through the woods, shaking from the cold, starving from hunger, and struggling to find food for her family? only to later see Nesta's treatment of Feyre?"

in the anti's post, they said Feyre was just as "heinous" to Nesta.

is Feyre the one calling Nesta a pig? a smelly pig? ordering her to take her clothes off?

no, it's not, it's dear Nesta. the text goes as "I took my time, swallowing the words I wanted to bark at her" oh yes... how cruel of Feyre. how heinous of Feyre to...stay quiet... at the verbal abuse.

in the same image we see Feyre ask Nesta to do something (kindly might I add) and then inquire why she didn't chop wood like she needs to.

what does Nesta do? acts like a brat and insults Feyre...once again.

considering I'm going off by the story and not the actual screenplay, and assuming they stay true to the story; will the audience not be disgusted by Nesta's behavior? I mean they just saw Feyre struggle to find food and they expect Feyre to go home to a family happy and appreciative of Feyre but instead, they get this familial abuse.

the anti said Feyre basically tells Nesta this:

"If you keep bitching at everyone like this no one will want to be around you or you can’t marry this guy because you’re a waste of space to me"

but what do we see?

"Believe me... the day you want to marry someone worthy, I'll march up to his house and hand you over. But you're not going to marry Tomas."

the word worthy, did that not catch your eye? Feyre said Nesta will have to marry someone worthy, someone, who will treat Nesta kindly and give her the life Feyre thinks her sisters deserve. bc Feyre does think that IDK why anti feyres think Feyre despised Nesta so much, Feyre loved her sisters.

what the anti fails to realize here is that Nesta marrying Tomas would have been actually pretty great for Feyre. in the sense that, Feyre would no longer carry the burden of her sister. Feyre would not have to worry about feeding one more mouth. or worrying about Nesta's constant stealing of Feyre's money. Feyre does not think Nesta is a "waste of space" to her, if she did, it would have been easy for Feyre to discard Nesta, and allow her to marry Tomas. the anti has that twisted.

but that is not even the worst part of the scene. did you see the shameless slut-shaming that came out of Nesta's mouth? how will the audience take to that? do you think most of the younger generation will take it lightly to see a sister slut-shame a sister? a woman putting down another woman? in this social climate? where the feminism movement is alive and flourishing. will they be okay with it? will they still blame Feyre and be mad at her the way the anti says they will be? I hope not otherwise I'm losing faith in humanity.

Lovely words Nesta spews at Feyre. I admit Feyre should have told her then and there that Tomas is abusive. but let's think: Feyre is 19 years old, the youngest, has never had any raising by a parental figure, has been neglected by her whole family, where would Feyre learn to calmly talk to an overgrown brat like Nesta? Feyre telling Nesta who Tomas truly is the duty of a parent, not a sister. I will not condemn Feyre for not knowing that was the perfect time to tell Nesta who Tomas is. especially when Feyre is being tormented and verbally/emotionally abused, its kinda hard to think about something else while you're being told all these horrible words. to us its easy to see where Feyre went wrong but unless you're in the exact position Feyre was in. no one has any room to talk. and even then, every person is different in situations like these.

this part was me analyzing the interactions between Feyre and Nesta since anti had reasons to believe Feyre was just as bad to Nesta and that the audience would see that and hate Feyre. I am now going to respond to the second part of the Feyre Anti's response.

"How will an audience of non-fans react to her not reaching out to her family to tell them she was okay after the reconciliation between her and Nesta? Or not inviting them to the wedding?"- from anti

moving onto acomaf now.

Idk maybe the audience will see Feyre, a depressed, lonely, individual in an abusive relationship while being manipulated by other individuals she called friends, and understand and empathize with her. all throughout the beginning and half of acomaf, Feyre is in critical depression. she wholeheartedly believes she should not be alive. that she is not worthy. she doesn't eat, all she does is sleep, self-care is not important to her or others so why would letting a family know she's okay, a family who BARELY ever cared about her, be a priority? it doesn't seem like Nesta or elain or her father was really fazed by Feyre's lack of communication. her father left on a trip, elain got engaged and Nesta, well we didn't see a tearful welcoming to Feyre on Nesta's part did we?

anti, where is the outcry of her "family" not even really caring if Feyre was safe or not, of what happened to her? it's not like they thought she had died, otherwise, where was the mourning or funeral? no, they just didn't care.

see this is where I know when anti is just full of bullshit. why, WHY, would Feyre invite her family to wedding full of fae? the creatures elain and Nesta fear and hate? for all the talk many anti's spew about Feyre being inconsiderate to Nesta, to her family, you would think Feyre maybe just knows a fae wedding would be the last thing they would want? even then, does Feyre owe them an invitation to her wedding? does she owe them an update on her life? nope. Feyre owed them nothing.

"How about her shit-talking Nesta to a bunch of strangers then having the audacity to ask her to get involved in a war. Oh! This is after she comes into her house and insults their hospitality." - from anti

I hardly think Feyre confiding in individuals who she learned to care about and laying out all the trauma Feyre endured with her family is "shit-talking" but for argument's sake, let's say it is. I still don't see what's wrong? after years of pent-up anger and hurt, would you not let go of everything you withheld inside and explain what was done to you? how you felt? Feyre telling the IC her life story, which contains Nesta's abuse and her family's neglect, was a form of therapy for Feyre. I never read a line where Feyre calls Nesta a "cold-hearted bitch" or called elain "a lazy ditz" she just said the truth. no added embellishments. Cassian was the one who shit-talked Nesta during the dinner scene, never Feyre.

I still don't understand why antis are so against Feyre asking her sisters for help? like the war didn't involve them? they're humans, and you know what the war was about? Hybern wanting to take control of the human lands like they once did and turn them into slaves. those humans included Nesta and elain.

"They could have left the continent" correct, except elain was engaged and refused to leave Grayson. which meant Nesta refused to leave elain. but even so, isn't it the duty of humans to band together and work to overthrow a race of people who want to torture and keep them as slaves? the queens certainly weren't doing their jobs. Feyre asked to use "their" house to meet the queens bc where else would they do it? the queens trust the fae less than Nesta or elain did. but even so, Feyre asking to use their house was a courtesy, that house is rightfully Feyre's. she is the one who sacrificed herself to leave with Tamlin. she did it bravely, courageously, and they got that house thanks to her. they owed Feyre everything. and the only one who acknowledged that was Elain.

that war involved elain and Nesta whether they or Feyre or the anti's liked it or not. not even considering that Nesta and elain are Feyre Archerons sisters, yeah, their family name alone puts a target on their back.

How did Feyre or the court insult Elain's and Nesta's hospitality? You mean when Feyre realized human food differed from fae food? something she did not know about bc she's barely been turned to fae and only had eaten fae dishes? Feyre's grimace towards the human food was an involuntary reaction to someone who is still learning their new body. or was it when Cassian called out Nesta for her cold treatment towards Feyre? if that's the case then fuck decency, I would call out a fake bitch in my presence from minute one. you cant call what Nesta did "hospitality" when all she did was insult Feyre when she didn't even care that Feyre had died, or lost her love bc of abuse, or that her body was changed against her will.

hospitality: the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.

did y'all read something different bc this for sure was nothing Nesta gave to her guests?

----

the rest of the anti post moves towards Rhysand and his actions UTM which I won't go into because I'm mainly just addressing the false interpretations this anti had to say about Feyre and her family.

I'm not sure how to sign off now lol, but I guess just that I hope this was enough to show how this anti's arguments were completely ludicrous and have absolutely no compassion for Feyre, and instead all the compassion for Feyre's abusers. This anti had a real spin on what the actual story was, and I hope the evidence I provided was enough to show that. Anyways yeah my brain is fried, and I'm done arguing with Feyre anti's for a while now, I need to go praise my queen Feyre so I can receive some semblance of peace.

anyways, stan Feyre for clear skin xx