#shit forgot to also post my lucy costume

[krash-and-co]

if you were to dress up in an l&co themed halloween costume who or what would you be?

hmmm i have dressed up actually and i was lucy ! however if i could be anything, i’d be skull :]

(me as lucy last year with skull, at the time it was funny. tried to fit glasses on skull too but they didn’t go around the jar 😔 anyways semi face reveal i might delete later /hj)

edit: where's the pic u ask?? gone I killed it

[andromerot]

my pedro almodóvar marathon. thoughts, feelings, tier list

or, i spent like 50 hours on this so i better get to post about it

well, i'd be lying if i said i set out to do this with any clear goals in mind. i sort of just wanted to watch movies. this year i set out to watch through a couple of directors entire works, but ran into complications or got bored. so anyway when i finished my term i decided id try a third time with my best friend pedro. i had watched five of his films already but was mostly unaware of other things he had made. on the 22nd of november i started with matador, then went on and in exactly a month i had watched all of his feature films yayyy

so this is how i ranked them on letterboxd and this is a tier list. this doesnt really sum up my thoughts though so im leaving a little review for each below the cut, in the order i watched them in this month hope someone cares :) thank you

matador (1986): ohhhhhh my god. absolutely unexpected how insane this movie made me. many people say its not very good, i dont think that's true. transgressive, erotic, camp, necrosexual, implicit faggot tension, beautiful costuming, insanely talented cast of so many characters sick in the head. watching this one first really hyped me up to keep at it and to close out the month i rewatched it the other day and though it was less surprising than the first time i watched it its maybe my favorite now :) it has structural flaws i suppose. but i love it

¿que he hecho yo para merecer esto? (1984): pretty funny! not bad at all, i remember enjoying it as i watched it, it just wasnt very memorable. i enjoy every performance by carmen maura, chus was stellar as always and forqué was really sweet in this one too, i liked it. i literally forgot half of the plot though. did anyone remember the telepathic child or the faked hitler diaries? i didnt until i looked it up.

la ley del deseo (1987) (rewatched): showed this one to my friend, god its iconic. some of my favorite chiques almodovar. so fun to watch and so silly even though its not quite a comedy. the fact that antonio is just called antonio in this one makes me unwarrantedly happy. MAURA THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE!! very hot all around. i think i liked it better this time than the other two i had watched it.

pepi, luci, bom y otras chicas del montón (1980): everyone talks about how sexually transgressive 80s almodovar is and i was like yeah whatever until i watched this one. straight up trilogy of trash shit. so beautiful. i wish every movie was like this. no one likes it but i adored it. erecciones generales will stay in my mind forever and i loved the musical numbers. and the piss, of course.

entre tinieblas (1983): also somewhat forgettable, though i watched it while pretty worried about something else so maybe i didnt give it the attention it deserved. its not a bad time but i wouldn't rewatch it. based on the premise you think it'd be better.

la flor de mi secreto (1995) (rewatched): OH GOD. until last month my favorite almodóvar, its been outdone but it still destroys me. its terribly underrated. i dont even know what i can say about it... marisa paredes is stunning at doing desperation. the boots, the scene at the protest, the initial meeting with ángel, the poem in the car, that moment in the hall. it's beautiful and breathtaking. lesbian film history, i promise.

todo sobre mi madre (1999): like, its good, but i dont get what people see in it that makes it so acclaimed. again paredes is great in this, but penélope is somewhat tame compared to what she does later, and this is the point in the list where i have to admit cecilia roth is not very good to me and all my compatriots start throwing rocks at me. listen i just wish she'd stop doing that stupid accent its so fucking bad cecilia sincerate seguro sos de villa crespo. anyway its fine if a bit weird about trans women, but hes always a hit or miss w that

átame (1989): took a big break between the last one and this one for some reason. anyway, pretty funny, except it really drags in the middle. shouldnt have been that long, but victoria abril always slays and the last scene is wonderful.

tacones lejanos (1991): WOAHHHHH! really cool i liked it. i love a mother daughter thing especially this mother and this daughter. really fun doppelganger story and i love how it was told, i found it both melodramatic and subtle? miguel bosé makes a really pretty girl, this will inform my every subsequent rewatch of suspiria. big fan of his gender. dance number fucked obvs

kika (1993) (rewatch): ok, i know why people don't like this one, but its so silly... cmon. it sillay. once again incredible abril performance, the costuming my god.... her character makes the whole movie i wish i was her. lesbian rossy de palma was wonderful and every forqué performance is a delight. pedro getting hitchcockian with it to slightly trick the audience is a staple of his 90s filmography, fucks.

carne trémula (1997): the title made me think it would be better! there was barely any carne. i didn't really see the point of most of it tbh, though based on how the movie starts and ends there might be some spanish historical context that im missing that makes it more interesting. strangely reminiscing of the buenos aires affair to me, but puig is better. yeah it was just pretty boring.

laberinto de pasiones (1982): YAYYYYYY i had some trouble torrenting so i watched it really out of order this but its SO FUN. obviously in the same vein as pepi luci bom but i liked it slightly more just for how unnecessarily elaborate it was. the one major role i dont mind roth being in and im a big fan of antonios gay terrorist with an ultradeveloped sense of smell character and arias is really into his very silly character too – he works well in secreto as well, i wish hed been on more almodovares, i should finally watch camila. liné was hilarious too. the problematic incest storyline was really funny to me sorryyyyy and i got a lot of gender out of the musical performances. hey can you believe that beautiful fag covered in blood is a franquista now. i can

hable con ella (2002): ehhhhhhh. some people really hate this one for the couple scenes i found most interesting, others love it for reasons i cant parse. its got parts that caught my attention a lot, but mostly it was eerie in an unenjoyable and uninteresting way and the backstories dragged on too long, especially grandinetti's. like i just don't care sorry. THE scene is quite disturbing though. i appreciated he decided to show rape in a more subtle light for once, it made it a lot more cruel and a lot more interesting.

la mala educación (2004) (rewatch): sighhhh. i really wish i liked this one. its got so many elements i am into – the colours are obviously spectacular, the unreliable multiple narrations and the disassembled timelines are always enjoyable to me, the attempt at social commentary is appreciated, some scenes are stunning (fictional ignacios head split in half is unforgettable) but quite honestly the characterization is so bad it bores me. i liked it more the first time i watched it just because of how confused i was, once i wasnt it lost its magic. maybe the worst in what is considered the "somewhat autobiographical movies about directors" trilogy (i think there's four of them but we'll discuss that later) probably because the character of enrique is so bland. i know its more but it feels that you only spend like five minutes with him. ángel/juan's motivations for anything are so puzzling, ignacio is just a caricature at this point and probably the character with the most depth is berenguer, which is ironic, i guess

volver (2006): WAHHH. its hard to talk about it honestly. it was so unexpectedly beautiful. the acting is so on point – penélope cruz and that beautiful carmen maura comeback are self evident, but blanca portillo is also stellar. it was fascinating from minute one and i couldnt keep my eyes off it. its written with such care and love. i suppose the plot itself is nothing out of this world, but the way it is handled is explosive. i really adored it.

los abrazos rotos (2009): the fourth bastard on the self insert series! cmon, its way more about himself than la mala educación. anyway, its good at some points, not very in others. the strong point is obviously the relationship between mateo, judit and diego, their refusal to be tied as a family and their desire to be tied by love is reaaaally interesting. the scene at the sea... but penélope and her millionaire and her millionaires son do nothing interesting at any point, im afraid to say. sad! surprisingly not very memorable, even though i didnt dislike it as i watched it. like i remember i liked some things but if a couple weeks later i dont remember what they were its probably the movies fault

la piel que habito (2011): AUGHHH OK. fuck. THIS ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD. it wasnt it was really mid. when it started i was like oh is pedro trying out his hand at cronenberg and i was really excited because im SURE he can do cronenberg better than cronenberg but he didnt. it was worse. how are you giving your women less agency than that guy??? honestly probably the first ever film of his where this is a noticeable problem, though penélope in the last one should give us a hint. ughh it should have been good. im mad about that. no desire to question gender or power and the unchronological storytelling does nothing for me. BAD! if anything i recognized its sexual power for if banderas character was a woman i would be throwing up and convulsing on the floor. i hope vicente and his lesbian coworker had a beautiful romance i guess. i cant believe some people call this one one of the most controversial of his work....

los amantes pasajeros (2013): hm well everyone was like THIS is the bad one and i was like i bet you guys are just being mean but no yeah this is the bad one. its not funny and it drags on so long...i can usually defend the rape scenes in his movies, even in kika or hable con ella, but this one just sucks so bad. i was prepared to defend this movie but i cant. as soon as the movie started i was trying to guess where all the threads would connect, how all the characters would be linked and they mostly... weren't? also the reference to the gazpacho scene in mujeres made me groan out loud.

julieta (2016): well i dont really know what this was supposed to be....it feels on the surface it could have been really good but something about it felt so emotionless. it was an odd experience, watching it, because i expected to be moved by so many scenes and i never was. i dont know what the point of it was.

dolor y gloria (2019): ok yeah this one was sweet! didn't blow my mind or anything but it was very cleverly made...a really more beautiful way to do the childhood-as-movie thing than in mala educación, i really enjoyed it. nostalgia bores me sometimes but i feel hes not being annoying about it. long live old man yaoi (and finally an argentinian actor i DONT hate...) and that beautiful beautiful cave and that mind gripping apartment bringing in the characteristic insane set design but in a new way...i had a good time

madres paralelas (2021): oh this could have been so good! it wasnt but honestly i dont remember exactly why i disliked it. i suppose i didnt connect to the characters and that it is a story that requires that to engage you – their motivations were really out of place and unlike other movies that bothered me. really interesting premise, didnt work out. im sad about it. could have been cool.

yeah so that's it i only realized while writing this that i forgot to rewatch mujeres but obvs that ones very good, proper classic, quote it every time i eat gazpacho and such. also extraña forma de vida is a snore i refuse to watch it again. i hope this works as a rec list for someone. and i am ready to be stoned by my wrong opinions by the rest of you

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

27. A Night to Remember

Word Count: 4517, Content Warning for Sexual Themes. Jammed Beychella/Homecoming, This Song, and Used This Video. 

Previous

Grace woke up on her 23rd birthday, on September 23rd with Hazel in her room, wearing a hat and a tie, with a tray of breakfast and a flower, watching her with anticipation. “Oh! Hazel! You shouldn’t have. What time did you wake up today to do all of this?”

“Don’t get too excited. Everything on this tray is inedible, but I did my best, because this is your first birthday as my mom!” Grace collected Hazel to herself and kissed her on the cheek. This was a very special birthday for her. Grace loved the number 23!

Being born on that day might have something to do with it, but she was also very interested in the fact that it had a lot of significance in various belief systems and there were a few instances of people obsessed with it. Now, she was becoming that age (only for a year), but the first day was very important to her.

She wanted inner peace, alignment, awareness, and everything else well wishers would wish to be manifested in her life.

After she got Hazel off to school, she told Simon that she would visit, to collect whatever gift he wanted to give her. He was in New York for the week (she hoped for something other than trying to give her a birthday gift, but he was very vague about why he was there), and since she still wasn’t keen on him knowing where she lived, she told him that she would stop by where he was staying, but it probably wouldn't be until later that evening, or the next day.

She had plenty to do before getting Hazel after school. Spa day with 23 treats, hair and makeup, fashion stylist, and a birthday party with some of her favorite local musicians performing… Well, the spa day at least was during school hours. Hazel was going to spend her first night since she became a Monroe away from home. Lucy's parents were allowing her to stay there a couple of nights, as Grace would be both celebrating and recovering from this time. THEN, she and Hazel were going to spend the weekend going to an amusement park, a wildlife park and animal sanctuary, and a live filming of The Mighty Tuba and Her Musical Friends. (Because Grace felt guilty about taking 3 days to herself, even though Hazel repeatedly promised her that she wanted her to enjoy those and that she deserved a little break).

For Grace, a spa day was "a little break," she might as well be abandoning Hazel in the woods for this! Surely, she knew that was an exaggeration, but she felt really bad and several times considered not doing her birthday plans. When her mother offered to come there and stay with Hazel to ensure she took a few days, she decided to just let herself enjoy the plans. Besides, she was going to be checking in with Hazel and Lucy's parents had her direct phone number in case of any emergency.

Being pampered to the absolute fullest, styled like a swan goddess, and escorted with a dope entourage of fly ladies to her birthday party, she absolutely forgot about Simon's gift. She didn't remember until all the performances were over and there was something similar to an after party in the VIP and one of the staff asked her if she knew a dude named Simon Lawrence. She looked towards the door and saw Simon outside looking extremely nervous and ready to take off running at any moment. "Let him inside," she said, mostly out of guilt. He probably saw her tagged here on someone's posts. She greeted him with a hug, "Hey, I'm so sorry I didn't stop by! The night got away from me!"

"Don't mention it. I just wanted to be able to say happy birthday to your face because you were able to for mine."

"Cool. Umm…" she introduced him around the circle and with one particular person said, "And you probably remember," (he didn't hear the name), "from Julliard." The woman looked just as suspicious of him as she had whenever he stopped by the school. He guessed they were friends now.

"Simon, what did you get Grace for her birthday?" One of the guys asked. He was a Black ginger with a huge pony puff tail and a braided beard.

"Ummm… I got her a few things."

"Like what?" One of the women asked. Simon recognized her as the woman who claimed to be Grace's best friend on social media. (The same that Grace called to talk to about him showing up out of nowhere, but he didn't know that). She had numerous piercings and a tattoo that stretched seemingly over her entire body of a Phoenix.

"Just some… she'll tell you later, I'm sure. You're her best friend, right?"

"Right," she said, her brown eyes cutting into him. Also seated there was Shana, in all black, with a light skinned woman on her lap, dressed in all gold, with a huge blond afro and glittering makeup.

"Is.. this a costume party?" Simon asked.

"It's an autumn gala," Grace said and gestured to an empty seat near the best friend. He sat down and the only other white person with them shifted a little to make room. "Oh, um… Simon, my friend Tulip is an engineer too! She works at a videogame place or something. You two might talk on that…"

"Simon," Tulip said, "What's your favorite Grace Monroe original song?"

Simon tilted his head. It seemed everyone was going to just ask stuff about Grace. "Stingray."

"Okay. Why?"

"Ummm… it's about me," he said and fiddled with his fingers.

"So is Bastard King."

"So is Have At It Bruh"

"So is You Thought…" Grace let out an embarrassed laugh as all of her friends spoke at the same time. "So, all of you really wanna bring up old stuff?" She asked. "Simon and.i are in a good place now." The best friend made a face that seemed to conflict with that.

"Did you come to New York for her birthday?" Ginger dude asked.

"No, I've got a potential career opportunity, and I came to speak with a company about that," Simon said.

"Like an assignment?"

"No, a permanent position."

"You… you might be living here?" Grace asked. She didn't seem very "in a good place* about it, and she didn't wait for an answer before she got up and walked away. The best friend, Shana, Shana's girlfriend, Tulip and another girl who seemed to be Tulip's girlfriend all got up to follow her. Simon ran a hand through his hair and let out a breath.

.

"Moving here? He thinks he can just move HERE??" Grace asked, ready to cry. "Like it's not enough that my parents had him in their space the last time I was there, now his ass is coming here???"

"Good place, huh?" Her best friend asked.

"You know how she is, Damita," Shana said. “Don’t let him get to you. He would love that. Just make him EAT it. Go back out there, have a good time right in front of his face, then never say another word to him again.”

“She wants to say another word to him. That’s why she said he could come in and sit with us,” Damita said. “What you might as well do is have a birthday hookup, get your gifts, get off, and get on with your life.”

“NO!” Shana squealed. “She can’t fuck him! That’s what he WANTS!”

“It’s what she wants too! She can get it out of the way, and not have to wonder if she’s all caught up because of that itch and just… move on from his ass."

“Can I talk?” Grace asked. They all looked at her. “I like all of these ideas. I don’t think I have an itch, though. It’s more like… I just want to be able to do it without being connected. I feel like the last time I was bamboozled. I wanna… I don’t know… bamboozle him. Because, he’ll think it matters to me again and I’ll be like Boy, Bye.” Her friends cheered and applauded. “But first, freshen up selfies…" They helped Grace refresh everything, then they took photos and posted them before stepping back out. Grace came back out and sat on Simon’s lap. He stiffened up and stared at her, but she didn’t glance at him for a reaction. Instead, she just resumed conversation with her friends. Eventually he relaxed and dared to rest an arm around her waist, but she looked down at it and looked at him, so he removed it, confused.

Shana took to the stage and said, “Okay, so we all know that our birthday girl Grace been partying like it's Beychella in here!” People screamed, particularly the ladies with Grace. Simon winced at the loudness. “Well, you all saw me and her dance and you like it and you love it. You heard some great music, but Miss Thang Thang Boo Boo hasn’t sung yet. So, I would like to request a little song called Figures, it’s by Ms. Jessie Reyez and I just know that my good sis knows it and I’ll bet she sounds better. No shade, no shade. Get up here bitch.”

Grace laughed and stood up. Shana tossed the mic and she caught it. “Bitch… You could’ve hurt somebody!” The music started playing and Grace strutted towards the stage, singing, “Figures. I gave you ‘ride or die’ and you gave me games. Love, figures. I know I'm crying 'cause you just won't change. Love figures. I gave it all and you gave me shit Love figures I wish I could do exactly what you did..” Simon stirred as she headed for the stage. He had been looking up the lyrics to some of Grace’s songs and was glad that she wasn’t going to sing one of those, but… this one was as bad. But, she was in the zone and the crowd loved her. Shana was drunk and rocking against her on the stage, sporadically pointing at him and lipsyncing lyrics.

By the end of the song, he felt shittier than he had whenever he first sat down in the clearly unfriendly environment. He had to keep reminding himself, like the song said, this was his fault… But.. she was wrong about one thing. He would change. He HAD changed and he would do anything to prove it.

Grace passed the mic back and Shana said, “Hey, did y’all know that I can sing too?”

“NO YOU CAN’T!” Shana’s girlfriend yelled across the room.”

“I can’t? Watch this, watch this, watch this…” Grace watched as Shana began a terrible, tone deaf, “I was BORRRRRRRN by the river…” Grace quickly caught on. She knew where this was going. Shana was a fool and sent that video to everybody after it was brought up with one of her older friends… As Shana began the short rap, Grace twerked on the stage and Simon clutched the seat. He had never seen her do that in person before. She didn’t used to do that type of dancing, and it was so much nicer than in the already titillating videos. Shana and Grace hugged and then Shana insisted, “Play more Beyonce. Beyonce and Solange, that’s all we need right now.”

That was the alert for all of the ladies in Grace’s party to rush back to the dance floor. Simon realized that there were only two guys there and they got up and left eventually, hugging and kissing the ladies on their way out. Simon stayed at the table. The ladies eventually made it back to take a breather and to have drinks. Grace only had water with lime and mint, but she was really enjoying herself. He was glad that she wasn’t angry about him thinking about moving to New York. He wanted to be closer to her, but it also was an amazing opportunity for his career.

A song began to play and every last one of the women there bent over and began to shake… Even that girl Tulip was dancing like nobody was looking, up against her girlfriend. Grace and Damita’s shaking was almost directed right at Simon. He sat back, unsure if he should maybe move. Damita moved closer to his lap and made eye contact with Grace. He didn’t know what for, but Damita was practically giving him a lap dance. Was… this some sort of test? Because… she certainly was attractive, but how much of an ass would he be to let this be a problem for him in front of Grace?

Grace hardly seemed to mind. She climbed the chair, threw one of her legs on Simon’s shoulder and began a body roll right in his face. By that time, he was certain that they were trying to kill him. He felt faint, but he held on to her, because this seemed unstable, even for somebody graceful and he was worried that she might fall. He wasn’t trying to feel her up… there just was no innocent way of holding her there. She smelled SO good, he was weak. Damita moved away, to dance with Shana and Tulip. By the end of the song, Grace climbed down and straddled Simon’s lap, her arms rested on his shoulders, staring into his eyes. He looked completely infatuated. “Can I come over?” She asked him…

Like he would have said no under ANY circumstance, much less after 3 full minutes of her grinding her business in his face. He was careful not to move his hands to wrap around her as he nodded, trying to stay composed. She might just not want to be home alone on her birthday or something. She most definitely probably was not interested in doing anything with him.

After a few more minutes, the ladies closed out their tabs, Grace grabbed a ridiculously long fur from the coat room and the others were putting on their coats and stuff. Simon noticed some hand signals and facial expressions, and at the end of all that and the walk to the elevator, he noticed that Shana looked mad. Her girlfriend was trying to talk her down. He heard something like, “She’s worked too hard to let this bullshit start up again.”

“What was that?” Simon asked, a bit defensively, unable to hold back. It was still Shana, to him and he had been taking shit off of her all night. But, whenever he spoke, it was like he’d lit a fire under her ass. Shana pushed passed her girlfriend and lunged with her fist at him. Grace squealed and moved out of the way. Tulip’s girlfriend ducked behind her while Shana’s girlfriend just shook her head, Grace steered clear and Tulip tried to stop Shana. She was punching Simon in the head and neck, much like Grace had on the terrace all those years ago. The only problem was that he had apparently not been able to take a punch as well as he used to since his near death experience… or Shana was extremely vicious.

“Shana! Shana, STOP!” Grace yelled.

Shana only stopped whenever the elevator doors opened and she was yelling at him as Tulip and her girlfriend pulled her out. Shana’s girlfriend said, “I’m sorry. She had way too much to drink tonight. Grace has all our contact info for like bills or whatever…”

Simon shook his head and waved a hand, but he was hesitant to leave the building until Shana’s yelling was far enough away. Grace took a deep breath and checked his head, “You okay? She had on rings. She got a lot of your skin off of your chin and neck.”

“It’s my fucked up side, so that’s fine.” She looked at the old scars, including the big one on the side of his head, where his hair no longer grew.

“I can drive,” she said. He nodded and pulled out his keys. She was able to put the address in her maps and get them there no problem. She felt bad, now. For the plans that she had for him tonight… but, she remembered that when he had the chance to hurt her, he didn’t give a fuck what else she had going on, so they’d tend to those little injuries and she was going to ride his face until she got tired and go home… Maybe some other things, if he played his cards right.

Simon was exhausted and felt terrible, but Grace had her little medical kit and was being helpful and gentle, which just made him want her even more. “Hey… thanks.”

“No problem. It was my friend that busted your ass up,” she snickered when she said it. “I was surprised that you didn’t at least get her off of you.”

“It was a small space and you were right next to me. I didn’t want anybody else to get hurt if it could just be me.” She pursed her lips and finished up.

Whenever she was done, she put her things away and finally took off her coat. The outfit looked even better in the closed space of his bnb rental. She kicked off her shoes, as most of the place appeared to be carpeted and she went into the kitchen. “I’m a little hungry. You got anything?” She was looking before he had a chance to answer and he got up to join her.

“I can make you something.”

“Cool,” she said. “You haven’t cooked for me since… Oh. That weekend.” She looked hurt as her mind traveled back to that time.

“I hate me for that, too,’ he said. He pulled out some stuff to cook. “Do… you want me to get your presents while I cook?”

“Oooh, yes, please!” She said, smiling, trying to forget about thinking about that weekend too much. He took off towards the back of the house and she glanced around the place. He had three laptops on the desk in the living room, the dining room table was covered in what she recognized to be the organized chaos of his work, and he had a cat tree next to the couch, which was white leather, and had earth tone throw pillows on it. She wondered where the fracking cat was. Probably hiding somewhere. She stayed hiding whenever they were younger, and probably did more now that she was hella old.

Simon came back in and had a two tier trolley cart with a huge basket at the bottom and a wrapped box and a bouquet on the top. Grace made an excited sound. She LOVED receiving gifts and she always would. But, the bouquet was an arrangement of blues and purples - hydrangeas, asters, large daisies, bluebells and large pink roses, PLUS, she saw from the tag that he had got them from a friend’s shop (that she realized he probably found on her page, somewhere). He asked, “Can I take photos?”

“Sure.” She opened the box first, because it was closer and when she did, she pulled out a few things… The first was a doll of some sort, dark brown skin with goddess locs, pulled up in a headwrap of flowers (like she would frequently wear her hair to school), a halo crown, and a gold dress with jade jewelry and chartreuse accents… “What the fuck is this, Simon? Is this… me… at our dance?”

He smiled, “Sort of. That’s the prototype of the Idol Princess. I’m going to have dolls manufactured.” Grace didn’t know if she wanted to reach into the box again. The doll was beautiful. The likeness was uncanny and the attention to detail on the dress… she couldn’t even remember that damn dress, but looking at it, everything looked exactly as her brain seemed to be piecing together. “You hate it.”

“I don’t hate it. It’s beautiful.” That was just… a little bit much… a lot much, actually. She set it aside and found a scroll with her name’s meaning, with the backdrop of artwork of her face. Beautiful and sweet. A Libra crystal collection in a very nice box with beautiful accompanying cards. She wasn’t a huge mystic, but she did love the idea of having things that might shift energy or help to feel certain ways near her, so she definitely loved those. There was a book that she had mentioned wanting to buy (officially letting her know that he was stalking her pages again), but she didn’t mind. It felt like old normal but with her new self awareness. It didn’t matter, because she wasn’t doing anything to provoke or tempt him or encourage him… though as she kept pulling gifts out, she missed this. She missed being given so many nice things at once. She missed being given tribute. She missed gifts from Simon. “You paid for all of this, right? I don’t want the police to come snatch it up.”

He frowned, being reminded of things he did always stung, but he knew that she was only joking, making light of one of the things he did to hurt her so that she wouldn’t feel so awkward accepting presents from him. “Everything is legal and belongs to you.” He forced a smile, behind a pained expression.

Grace didn’t notice and he was extremely relieved that she wasn’t looking at him right then. She let out a long gasp and looked at him, her eyes sparkling now… “Did you… did you order ALL of my things from places that my friends and familiars own?”

He smiled brightly, “I knew you’d notice!”

“Did you tell them that this was stuff for me?”

“I did. Everyone was very eager to make sure that an order for you was perfect. I’m smart sometimes.”

“Always have been. Thanks for sending business their ways,” She gave him a hug.

At the bottom of the trolley was a huge basket of natural beauty products and an elegantly decorated bag of treats… stuff she knew he used to like to watch her eat. “Oh my God. Are you still into that?” She asked, knowing she didn’t have to be more detailed.

“I will turn on those videos for hours while I work. I follow several pages that are just that. Which reminds me. I gotta get back to cooking.” he called out while she opened stuff and smelled it or just admired her gifts, “I’m thinking lamb, maybe some couscous and beets?”

“It’s like 3 am, Dude. You don’t have anything quick?”

“Ummm… no. I cook, but I spent most of the night at the party at the club. You… seemed to have a great time.” He smiled, thinking about her performance towards the end of the night. Not the song. He pushed that part from his mind. The other part. He could still smell her if he thought about it. “It’ll take less than an hour for me to do everything. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. I haven’t eaten since brunch,” she said, holding her rumbling belly. She grabbed a honeycomb and some soft cheeses from her bag and posted up on the island. They talked casually about work and holiday plans. She and Hazel were going to be hosting Christmas at her house because trying to bring gifts across the country was going to be stupid. Her parents would mail any gifts and visit if they wanted to see her. “What about the Laurents?”

“I don’t fuck with them. I know that you said the thing about forgiveness or whatever, but the time that I was stuck there, trying to recover was enough stress for me from them… well, from Dad. She wasn’t there. She went back to Grandma’s. Her problem now. I did get to see one of our dad’s boxing bouts though. That was pretty entertaining.”

“Our what’s whats?”

“They took up boxing, seemingly just to be able to punch the shit out of each other every week. It was one of my few pleasures being stuck there." Grace almost choked on her cheese thinking about both of their fathers getting into a ring to fight.

Dinner was served around 3:30. Simon look absolutely exhausted but Grace didn't care about that, that much. He wondered, "After dinner do you want to head home because I can take you or of course you're welcome to crash here if it's just too late?"

"I was thinking that I was going to go home tonight but it's almost morning and I really feel like the trip will be super tiring."

"You're always welcome wherever I am."

"That's a nice thing to say. I'll just figure out what I'm going to do depending on how I feel after the cunnilingus." It was Simon's turn to choke now. Grace smirked as she chewed her food, watching him struggle to get to his water. "I hope that's not gonna be a problem. It IS still my birthday celebration."

He barely got the words out, "Not at all gonna be a problem." He drank more water. "I'm just surprised. Thrilled… but surprised."

"Don't be too thrilled. I'm not looking for love. I just want to get off. I think I deserve it."

"You do."

"I guess I should wash up first," she said, not really wanting to.

"No!" He blushed when she looked at him. "It's good. It's great. You put it right in my face earlier, remember? It was extremely palatable…"

She smiled, "You're nasty."

"You want me to be tonight, right?" He raised an eyebrow. She just smiled and continued eating.

Even with the promise at hand Simon definitely still cleared the dishes, washed them, and put them away before acknowledging what she said was about to go down. Grace grabbed him by the color of his shirt and looked him in the eyes. "I'm in charge tonight. It's my way or nothing,you understand?"

"Yes ma'am," he whispered. "On your knees!" He quickly followed the order. She hadn't bossed him around in a while, and even before it had never been like this. She held out her hands and he offered his, which she slid up her dress to her underwear. "Take them off." He was extremely eager to. "Follow me. Crawl." Simon did as he was told and when they reached the bedroom, she turned and put her foot on his chest, "Your hands don't go anywhere that I don't put them. You'll only be kissing one set of lips tonight, and when I'M satisfied, you'll need to draw me a bath and clean me off, then rub my feet until I fall asleep. And, I'm taking the bed. Understood."

"Fully."

She grabbed his hair to guide him to stand then shoved him onto the bed. "Keep your hands where I can see them," she told him as she crawled up on him, gaining her balance on the headboard. She shouldn't feel guilty for this and she wasn't going to let herself.

Next

[crazy-little-cool-cat]

Hand in Glove - Chapter 21 | Ben Hardy x OFC

A/N: I know y’all probs forgot about this, but I haven’t. Life has just been kicking my ASS relentlessly, but I decided to kick its’ ass back and here we fucking are. Took me about 4 months to finish, but it is what is it. Also, I am a bottle of wine and a half down and not sure how this is going to end up, but let’s pray to the gods that Tumblr ain’t gonna fuck shit up. Dropping mic now. 

Chapter 1, Chapter 2,  Chapter 3,  Chapter 4,  Chapter 5,  Chapter 6,  Chapter 7,  Chapter 8,  Chapter 9,  Chapter 10,  Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14 , Chapter 15 , Chapter 16 , Chapter 17 , Chapter 18 , Chapter 19 , Chapter 20 

Word Count: ~fucktonK. Don’t judge me. 

Warnings: the usual? idk. Ben gets quite frisky, I’ll tell you that much. Also not sure how much of this was beta’d or proofread so fucking forgive me father if I have sinned.

The shrill sound of the alarm and Ben's low, gravelly swearing snapped Annie back to reality. Her eyes fluttered open in the soft light of dawn. She fumbled for her phone on the nightstand to shut the alarm off and look through her notifications. Ben stirred behind her, snuggling as close to her as he possibly could.

"Mornin'..." he murmured and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

"Go back to sleep, Benny." Annie smiled when he pulled her in and engulfed her in his embrace. "It's too early."

"Frankie needs a walk." Ben yawned. "And you need breakfast."

"I can do both of those on my own."

"You can," Ben nipped at the curve of her neck, "but I won't let you."

The bedroom door edged open, revealing the tip of a snout poking through. A soft whine alerted Ben and Annie that Frankie had heard the two "magic words" Ben had just said - "Frankie" and "Walk" - and was making her presence known. Ben clicked his tongue three times and Frankie came scrambling onto the bed, her entire body swinging from side to side as her tail wagged. She dove right in to Annie's face, licking and whimpering excitedly.

"Oh God!" Annie shook her head from side to side, trying to escape the assault. Frankie had other plans. With a paw on Annie's shoulder, she tugged at her until she was flat on her back and climbed onto Annie's chest, pinning her down. "No! Stop!"

"Franks, I was actually hoping to be the one to give mum a morning snog..." he grabbed the dog and kissed her nose, earning a few licks for himself. "Aw."

Annie seized the opportunity to sit up and stretch her arms high over her head. She slouched down with a slow exhale and gave Frankie a rub behind her ears. Out of the corner of her eyes, she spotted Ben's Suitcase and duffel bag. She sighed and stood up, scratching her cheek as she marched over to the ensuite bathroom and flicked the light on.

"All done packing?" She asked as she examined her sleepy form in the mirror.

"Mhm." Ben shuffled behind her, pulling his sweats up over his hips. "I know, I'm a freak for doing it a week ahead of time."

"You're a freak for a whole myriad of reasons, Mr. Jones." Annie rolled her eyes and chuckled as she squeezed toothpaste onto her brush and then turned to Ben, who waited patiently with his toothbrush in his outstretched hand, nonverbally asking her to please put some toothpaste on his brush, too. "So you're that desperate to leave, huh?"

"On the contrary, my love." He winked at her and squeezed her bum before brushing his teeth.

Annie shook her head with a smile and leaned into his arm, resting her head against it. When they both felt their mouths were foamy enough, they took turns rinsing. Ben decided to finish this morning's ritual with a searing kiss.

"I plan on spending every waking moment that I have left with my girls." He mumbled against her lips before pulling away and walking to the toilet. Lifting the toilet seat up, he pulled his sweats down to his thighs.

"Seriously?"

"What?"

"You're taking a piss when I'm right here?"

"Love, I've watched you give birth." Ben smirked. "Peeing is not half as nasty as that."

"Do you want me to watch you pee, Benny?" Annie smirked back, crossing her arms tauntingly. "Is that a sex thing?"

"Want you to?" Ben pretended to mull it over. "Nah. But if you want to hold it for me..."

"Freak." Annie scoffed and walked out of the bathroom.

"So no?" He called after her.

###

If there’s one thing Annie hated, it was not knowing where time went. One minute she’s shoveling eggs in her mouth in a hurry to leave for work, the next she’s got a baby attached to her boob again and it’s night outside. Annie walked into the bedroom, groggily rubbing her eyes after feeding Rory in the middle of the night. A full moon illuminated Ben, laying sprawled across her side of the bed.

"You stole my spot!" Annie huffed and collapsed onto Ben's side of the mattress.

Ben's arms quickly snaked around Annie and pulled her to him, squeezing her as close as he could to his body. He tucked her head under his chin and mumbled incoherently, wrapping a leg around her as well. Locking her in.

"Ben, I need air!" Annie squeaked against his chest and tickled his sides in a futile attempt to make him move.

"Shh." Ben pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "S'night time. No talking. Just sleeping."

"But oxygen!"

"No," Ben grunted and rolled over, right on top of Annie, careful not to put all of his weight on her. "Imma Human blanket now."

"Hey!" Annie flailed under him before giving up and relaxing, letting his body squish her into the soft bed. "Fine."

"Good girl."

###

Ben sat with Rory on his lap, both looking at the phone with goofy smiles on their faces. He'd just gotten the notification that Annie's series had posted a new story to the Instagram page, followed by a text message that simply said "show Rory".

The story was a boomerang of Annie in full costume, blowing a kiss at the camera lens. The next story was another boomerang, this time of Annie doing 'finger guns' and winking at the camera with her lopsided grin. Rory tried to grab the phone out of Ben's hands, babbling happily.

"So much for daddy-daughter time..." Ben murmured against Rory's soft tufts of blonde curly hair.

While he'd usually spend his day with Rory on Annie's set or with his mates, Ben decided that he needed some alone time with his baby. His departure was mere days away. Although on the outside he was his usual self, internally, he wasn't handling this too well. He knew Annie could sense that and he appreciated her efforts in trying to play it down and pretend everything's alright.

With a sigh, Ben turned the screen off and chucked his phone aside, much to Rory's dismay. She tried to crawl off his lap in pursuit of the device, but was captured and tickled by her father. Ben gently tossed Rory in the air, smacking a kiss to her cheek every time he caught her.

"You know what?" He cooed at Rory, who clawed at his face with her fingers. "We're going on an adventure! You wanna go see uncle Joey and uncle Gwil?"

At the mention of Joe and Gwil's name, Rory squealed. It was so high pitched, Ben couldn't help but blink in awe.

"Did Roger teach you how to do that?"

###

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm absolutely devastated." Joe lamented. "The mere fact that we only have a few days left is just -"

"I was asking Ben." Gwil rolled his eyes, interrupting Joe's rant.

"I'm fine." Ben shrugged and took a sip from his beer. Rory and Frankie played on the floor at Gwil's flat. "Gwil you have to duck, okay? You'll ruin the fort."

"Who's idea was this, again?" Gwil groaned, adjusting the corner of yet another blanket he managed to mess up. "Also, why are we in the fort?"

"If you're going to be grouchy, you can leave the fort, Mr. Lee." Joe stuck his tongue out at the tall man. "No grouchy people allowed."

"I'm not grouchy." Gwil retorted. "Plus, this is my flat, meaning that this is my fort, so I make the rules."

"You do realize that Rory is the actual baby here, yeah?" Ben raised an eyebrow.

###

"How are you feeling?" Mike asked between bites of ravioli during lunch break. "Jonesy all packed?"

"Mhm." Annie sighed and pushed the food around on her plate. "Got his passport extended today, too. Took Rory with him."

"Seriously?" Clara snorted. "He's taking her everywhere?"

"Yep."

"It's sickening." Jamie chimed in. "It's like they're siamese twins."

"Aw," Mikey drawled. "Bet he's gonna miss her terribly!"

"Do you think she'll even notice?" Jamie mused. "She's, what, five months old now? She just figured out she's got hands. She'll be fine."

"She loves her daddy." Annie poked Jamie in his side. "She figured her hands out two months ago, you knob."

"Could've fooled me," Jamie muttered.

"Don't be ridiculous, James." Mike pointed at his co-star with his fork. "She's going to daycare, she'll only see her mama in the early mornings and evenings. She'll notice there's an entire human missing."

"She'll have her uncles and aunties to keep her distracted." Clara winked. "Lucy and I already planned a whole Girls' Day."

"Um?"

"What?" Clara blinked innocently at her best friend.

"Why wasn't I invited?"

"Because you have more work than I do." Clara shrugged. "Gonna do it on my day off, Banana."

"Well, it's just you, Rory and Lucy, then?"

"Well," Clara looked at her plate sheepishly. "And Joe. And Rami. And Gwilym."

"What the actual fuck, huh?" Annie threw her fork down and huffed.

"Hey, you'll get to hang out with these two delicious chunks of mankind all day!" Clara smirked.

"Clearly, the superior chunks of mankind, mind you..." Jamie added, tongue-in-cheek. "We haven't had "us" time in forever, Banana."

"Don't you Banana me!" Annie hissed and turned to look at Jamie. He flashed her his best puppy dog eyes. "Oh, not the face."

"What face?" He feigned innocence.

"You know what face. Don't do the face."

"What," Mikey sighed, mimicking  Jamie's expression. "Don't you want to hang out with your own brother and husband?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

###

The next day was an entire mess. It started off well enough for everyone involved, really. It’s during the afternoon when things took a really, really bad turn. Ben tried to contain himself while Rory was napping, but his mind was racing. It was a chill day with "the band", as they now liked to refer to themselves.

None of them gave a second thought to the familiar sound of a notification rang through the living room. Then, it was dead silent for what felt like an eternity.

"Well, then!" Rami was the first one to break the silence, turning his screen off and tossing his phone on the coffee table. "Anyone see any good shows lately?"

"Ben? Buddy?" Joe shook Ben by the shoulder. "Dude, you haven't blinked in an hour."

Ben stared into space, his thoughts running wild. It was just a silly, candid, behind-the-scenes picture. Nothing more. However, he couldn't help the bubbling rage. There she was. His girlfriend, snuggled up to her ex-boyfriend turned reconciled-best friend. Her head resting on his chest, tucked under Jamie's chin. Her arm flung around his waist, his arms holding her close. One hand laced through her long hair. They looked so peaceful.

Ben knew how hard they worked. How tired Annie was all the time. How early she got up and how late she came home, trying to get as much work done while Ben was still around to be with Rory. He'd visit the set often, only to find her catching a snooze in her trailer. Stifling yawns between takes.

Yet he couldn't help but feel jealous. There was something beautiful and serene about the picture, especially when both Annie and Jamie were in full costume. The caption was what got to him most - "marital bliss".

"Mate, it's a picture." Gwilym brought Ben back to earth, cutting off his train of thought. "God knows, Clara had her pictures taken snuggled up to just about anything and anyone."

"Marital bliss?!" Ben sneered. "Marital fucking bliss?!"

"They're in costume!" Gwil retorted. "Those aren't Jamie and Annie. Those are Henry and Anne."

"That's Annie." Ben pointed at the screen. "That's how we always fall asleep."

"You're reading too much into this." Rami quipped. "Jamie isn't a threat to you."

"I'm going to be a continent away, while this arse is just lurking around..."

"He's engaged." Rami reminded him.

"It’s a bloody farce of a PR stunt and you know it just as well as I do. It's a sham."

"Why are you so riled up?" Rami's eyes squinted in confusion. "It's a stupid picture. They look pretty in it. End of story."

###

When Annie arrived later that night, Rory was fast asleep and Ben was losing his mind - slamming drawers and cupboards shut in the kitchen, cursing under his breath. He didn't even hear Annie come in.

Annie got a heads-up from Joe earlier that evening, letting her know that Ben had seen the Instagram picture. "He's definitely, 100%, not okay. Brace yourself."

"You alright?"

Ben's eyes shot up and looked at her. He wasn't just angry - he was positively fuming. Annie squared her shoulders, prepared for impact.

"I'm going out for a run." Ben muttered and walked right past her.

Annie followed him to the door, her arms crossed. Her brows knotted, she tried to figure out what to say. It was almost midnight. Ben never pulled an "Annie" before. He never walked out on an argument.

Before Annie could form a coherent sentence, Ben was out the door. She heard him stomping down the walkway, opening the gate. A shrill ringing startled her - he left his phone behind.

Annie took a deep breath and climbed up the stairs to check on Rory. After rubbing Rory's back gently and tucking her in, Annie went about tidying up. She picked up toys - baby's and dog's - and random articles of clothing. She straightened the sheets, organized the mail, stacked the coasters neatly. Anxiously waiting to hear the front door open again.

When it did, Ben walked right up the stairs without giving Annie an acknowledging nod of his head. She was prepared for an onslaught of accusations, but none came. Feeling perplexed, she absently followed him, wishing her stalking presence was enough to make him turn around to look at her.

It wasn’t. Taking his sweaty clothes off, he tossed them in the hamper and went in the shower, leaving the door open. Ignoring Annie's existence all together. Her guilt - not that she really knew why she should feel guilty - was quickly replaced with seething anger.

She stomped into the bathroom, stopping right in front of the glass shower doors. She glared at Ben, her hands on her hips. He started whistling and turned his back to her as he washed himself, suds forming on his skin. This wasn't just a cold shoulder. This was a butt-naked, frigid silent treatment.

"Are you joking?" Her voice bounced off the tiles. "Is this a bloody joke?"

"Had a good nap?" Ben snarled, still not facing her. "Looked refreshing."

"It was, actually." Annie raised a challenging eyebrow. "Woke up feeling recharged."

"Oh, yeah?" Ben turned the water off shook his hair. "Glad to hear."

"You're unbelievable." Annie scoffed as Ben reached for his towel and wrapped it around his hips. "How dare you?"

"How dare I?" Ben's eyebrows were so far up, they almost merged with his hairline. "I'm not the one snuggling my ex!"

"I also snuggled Clara!" Annie hissed. "Let me know when your little hissy fit is over, okay, love?"

"Fuck you, Annabelle." Ben loomed over her, his green eyes boring holes into her very soul. "This isn't a hissy fit."

"What is it, then?"

"I'm leaving, Annie. Leaving. In two days." Ben pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "For months."

"I'm aware." Annie said through gritted teeth. "You're also coming back."

"Will I have something to come back to?" Ben opened his eyes. "You've already replaced me as your sleep-aid..."

"Have you gone absolutely bonkers, Ben Jones?" Annie barked out a laugh. "What are you on about?"

"I'm fucking scared, alright?" Ben hissed.

"Of what?!"

"You!"

"Me?" Annie's eyes were wide. "You're scared of me?"

"Annie, I'll be gone. You'll be fair game."

"I'm not some deer you can hunt!"

"I won't be here to protect -"

"Protect me?" Annie laughed, cutting him off. "From what? The Big Bad Wolf? Jamie?"

"Well, thanks for mocking me." Ben brushed past her, bumping his shoulder with her. "Real mature."

"Ben, you're throwing a fit over nothing!" Annie followed close behind him. Ben unwrapped the towel from his hips and dried off his torso. "I'm not mocking you!"

"We've been going through every aspect of me leaving." Ben chucked the towel to the floor. "What to do with Rory, what to do with Franks, when I'll be back for a visit..."

"I know." Annie sat down on the bed. "We've got this. We're prepared."

"Every aspect except our own bloody relationship. And all this time, you've been so calm about this!" Ben grabbed his head as he sat down next to her. "You've gone on a few benders, yeah, but even then - you were so calm."

"What?"

"Annie, I'm going crazy over this. I'm devastated. Freaking out. I don't want to leave." Ben laid back. "And you? You're acting like everything's fine. Having cuddles with your ex. Looking like…” Ben sighed and balled his hands into fists. “Do you even care that I'm going away?"

Annie took a shaky breath and shook her head, running a hand through her hair.

"You'll have Joe, Gwil, Rami, Clara, Lucy, Mike..." Ben rubbed at his eyes. "Jamie. I'll have no one."

"You know they'll leave for the press tour soon."

"Yes, which I'll miss out on." Ben chuckled bitterly. "You'll still have your own mates with you."

"You'll make new friends."

"I bloody know I’ll make new bloody friends, Annie, It’s not that!" Ben scoffed and mumbled incoherently under his breath. "See? This is what I'm talking about!"

"Huh?"

"It's like you're not even sad about it all!" Ben waved his hands about as he spoke. "You're out there, snuggling your cast-mates, working for hours on end, living your best life -"

"You think I'm not sad about this?" Annie spoke through gritted teeth. "Really?"

"Well, are you?"

"Of course I am!" Annie climbed onto his lap and straddled him. "Ben, are you having a psychotic break right now?"

"You're so cheery and positive and -"

"Because I didn't want to upset you!" Annie smacked his chest. "You blithering idiot!"

"Really?" Ben's voice oozed snark. "Seems like it backfired, no?"

"You're an arse." Annie smacked him again. "You're an idiot and an arse! Who on earth leaves his wi-" Annie huffed just as the word slipped her lips "-girlfriend alone with a baby for months?"

"Annie, stop hitting me!"

"No!" Annie punched him in the arm. "You wanted to see me upset? I'm fucking upset!"

"Annie!" Ben grabbed Annie's wrists and pulled her to him. She braced herself on her haunches to avoid head-butting him. "Stop. It."

"Do you honestly think I'd replace you?" the hurt in Annie's voice was evident. "Do you really think I'd go fuck someone else while you're gone? Jamie, of all people?”

She stared into his eyes, waiting for his answer, but there was none. Annie nodded and started to pull herself up, only to have Ben's grasp on her wrists tighten. She bit the inside of her cheek and tried to pull away again. Ben restrained her, not taking his eyes off hers.

"Ben, let go." Annie's voice was low as she tried to shake her hands free. She stared down at Ben's hands holding her wrists.

"Look at me." Ben squeezed her wrists tighter. "Look. At. Me."

Annie fixed her eyes on him. His usually bright green eyes were clouded and darker, a mixture of sadness, anger and need. He bit his bottom lip as he lowered his gaze onto their hands. All of his sadness, all of his tension had finally reached a boiling point. A crimson flush crept up from his chest to his neck, his muscles clenching with ever jerk of Annie's escape attempts.

"Let go of me. Ben, I’m deadly serious. I hate you right now." Annie hissed, still tense under his grasp. Ben snarled at her choice of words. Annie noticed it and pouted tauntingly. "What, did that hit a nerve? Is that all I needed to say to get a reaction?"

"Shut up."

"Oh, poor Benny. Did I hurt your feelings?" Annie's voice lilted condescendingly. A vicious glint danced in her eyes. "Did you really think you could call me a cheater," Annie's voice was so sweet as she said that, "that you could call me a slag?"

"I never called you any of these."

"You didn't have to." Annie chuckled. "It was heavily implied. Especially when you didn’t even answer my bloody question.” Annie smirked bitterly, tongue in cheek. “So right now? I. Hate. You."

Ben felt as if his entire body is on fire under her. Pins and needles raked through his body, a tingle rushing over his naked skin as they stared each other down.

"Who in their right mind," Annie tilted her head to the side, "leaves their girlfriend and 5-month-old baby for three months and then has the balls to be paranoid about her moving the fuck on without him? Hm?"

Ben clenched her wrists tighter, his upper lip curling up.

"I know who," Annie murmured. "The same guy who'll fail to appreciate his girlfriend's efforts to keep morale high, even though she's hurting. The same guy who's so afraid she'll cheat on him when he's gone, for no fucking reason, other than his own fragile ego, it seems."

"Watch it."

"No, fuck you. Fuck being careful." Annie retorted. "What will it take for you to stop being an undercover jealous prick? Huh? What, do you actually need to mark me as your territory?"

Ben's cock involuntarily twitched at the thought, grazing the crotch of Annie's leggings. Making their eyes lock on each other again. Sending a flurry of butterflies loose in both of their bellies.

"Oh, you can't be serious." Annie scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Unbelievable."

Ben licked his lips and made his move. Now that Annie was distracted, he used his body weight to roll them over and pin her down to the bed under him. His green eyes burned with raw need.

"Shut. Up." He grunted as she tried to wriggle her way out from under him while he held both of her wrists in one hand, up over her head. "Stop it."

Annie's breath hitched when Ben ground his hips into hers, his erection rubbing her inner thighs. He kissed her searingly and growled when she moved her head, pulling her lips away.

"Did I say you can move?" He whispered, his grip tightening on her wrists as his hand worked its' way to her legs. He kissed her again, physically taking her breath away, pushing her leggings down. She pulled back, gasping.  "Do. Not. Move."

"Air!" was all Annie could whine before his lips crashed onto hers again, muffling her moans.

"Do I need to punish you?" He whispered against her lips, his free hand snaking under her t-shirt. "Don't move. Be quiet. Don't want to wake the baby, now, do we?"

Annie shook her head slightly, looking up at Ben with big, doe eyes.

"Good girl." Ben cooed and nuzzled the crook of Annie's neck before pulling her shirt over her head, bunching it on her arms. "Do you hate me, still?"

"Mhm." Annie smirked.

"Guess I'll have to change your mind, then." Ben ground his hips down again.

###

After waking up all alone in their bed in the wee hours of the morning, Annie's sock-clad feet padded softly on the hardwood floor as she shuffled to the living room. She paused at the doorway, looking at the back of Ben's head. The soft, colorful light from the TV illuminated him like a halo. His head propped up on his closed fist, his arms on the back of the sofa.

Sensing her presence, Ben glanced over his shoulder and nodded his head, beckoning Annie to come to him. Smiling, she closed the distance between them and curled up on the soft cushions next to her boyfriend. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her onto his lap before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Baby monitor?" He mumbled against her hair and smiled when Annie reached in her hoodie's pocket and pulled it out. "Did she give you a hard time?"

"My arms are dead."

"She wouldn't let you put her down, then?"

"Does she ever?"

"Solid point."

"What are we watching?" Annie blinked at the bright screen in front of them and groaned when her face appeared on the screen. "Oh, no."

"I have a lot to catch up on, okay?" Ben tickled her sides as she buried her face in his chest. "I'm not sure I'll have time to binge on this while in Arizona, you know."

"Why do you need to binge on this at all?" Annie's muffled voice whined.

"Because." Ben shrugged.

"Right, then." Annie leaned back and grasped at the fabric of his long-sleeved shirt. "You won't mind me binge-watching East Enders, then?"

"You do what you gotta do." Ben sighed and leaned forward.

He grabbed his cup of tea off the coffee table and took a long sip. Annie's gaze followed his every move.

"Ben?" Annie tilted her head as she bit her bottom lip.

"Yeah, love?"

Annie caressed his cheeks as a million thoughts stormed in her mind. A sad smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

###

For the life of him, Ben couldn’t figure out how on earth it was night again. It seemed like everything was moving on double speed, nonstop. Exhausted, he laid sprawled on the bed like a starfish, with Frankie gently nibbling at his toes. One arm draped lazily over his eyes, the other tucked into his sweatpants waistband ever so slightly. The TV was on but on a low volume. Background noise.

He felt Annie's presence while his eyes were still closed, lurking at the doorway. He opened his eyes just a crack, enough to catch a quick glance of her face, and could feel his how his heart is breaking just from her expression alone.

"Don't give me that look."

Annie blinked and shook her head lightly as if her mind was an etch-a-sketch and she could just erase whatever thoughts popped up so Ben wouldn't see what they were. Considering that this very night would be Ben's last night at home, they both walked on eggshells, high on the tips of their toes.

"What look?" Annie asked sweetly and walked over to the bed. Ben stretched out his arms, inviting her in for a cuddle. "I wasn't giving you a look."

"Must've been imagining, then..." Ben mumbled with a sigh. He raked his fingers through her hair lazily, enjoying the warmth her body radiated. "Banana?"

"Hmm?" Annie purred and snuggled up as close as she could.

"I'm sad."

"I know." Annie propped herself up on one arm. “I’m sad too.”

“I need to you promise me something.”

“Ben, for the last time, I’m not going to cheat on you with Jamie!” Annie poked his side. “I swear, I’ll only cheat on you with Joe.”

“That’s not what I was going to say and you would never!” Ben grabbed her wrist gently. “Promise me you’ll always text me good night and good morning if you can’t call.”

“I promise.” Annie smiled.

###

“You know what?” Ben stopped in his tracks on his way to queue for his flight check-in, “I think I’ll stay.”

“The hell you are, Ben!” Annie moved Rory over to her other hip. “She needs toys! And  food! And diapers!”

“But Arizona is so bloody far!”

“Jesus Christ, not this again.” Gwilym chimed in and handed a bottle of Coca Cola to Ben. “Be a big boy, now, Benny.”

“God, I’ll miss you.” Ben sighed, his eyes closed.

“I’ll miss you too, babe.” Gwil replied instead of Annie.

“Do you two lovebirds need a minute alone?” Annie snorted. “I’ll miss you too, Ben.”

“And I’ll miss you the most!” Ben cooed and grabbed his baby, kissing every exposed inch of her skin.

“Thanks, love.” Annie sipped from his Coke. “I really appreciate that.”

“Ben, you’ll miss your flight, mate.” Gwil scratched his head as he looked at the huge departures sign. “You better hustle.”

“I’m staying.”

“Go!” Both Gwilym and Annie barked at him.

“I love you.” Ben murmured, his lips pressed to Rory’s cheek. “Take care of mum, yeah? Be a good girl?”

“Are you -” Gwilym tilted Annie’s head up to get a better look, “are you crying?!”

“Shut up!”

“Oh, fuck.” Ben’s eyes locked in on Annie’s face, prompting a wave of tears from his own eyes. “We said no tears!”

“Stop it, Ben!” Annie pawed at her cheeks to wipe off her tears. “No crying!”

“Goddamnit!” Ben hissed and shrugged one shoulder, wiping his tears on his hoodie. “Alright. Alright. No crying.”

“I think this is the perfect moment to separate the two of you.” Gwilym said, taking Rory from Ben’s arms and bouncing her on his hip. “Come on, children. Just like we practised.”

Annie leaped up and wrapped her arms and her legs around Ben, holding on for dear life. They kissed, one last time, their tears mixing together. Ben squeezed his girlfriend as close to him as he could and inhaled her scent as he pressed a thousand kisses all over her face.

“I’ll call you as soon as I land.” He whispered in Annie’s ear. “I love you.”

###

TAGLIST:  @ramibaby @xgoingdownx @qweenly @violetpond @sweeterthancheese @drummerqueenrmt @westansstuff @justgivemethekeys  @blondecarfucker @cheeseedreams47 @rogerspoison @deacy-dearest @pinkmarvel @onceuponadetectivedemigod

[annavolovodov]

ya girl saw the downton movie and has some Thoughts

if you followed me at all from 2011-2015 then you'll know i am firmly Team Downstairs and did not want this movie to happen, just so you all know what position i'm coming from here.

everything below is gonna be spoilery af. if you haven't seen it yet and want info just hmu. if you have seen it and want to talk about it please message me bc i’m always up for chatting about Downton.

okay but the title sequence with the music building and cresting as we come up over the hills and get our first shot of downton... goosebumps. tbh i don't know shit about film making but i can't fault the technical aspects (costumes, music, cinematography). the impact of the increased budget was felt from the very first second.

for the plot i’m gonna split things by character to make it easier. i’ll probably go to see it again and maybe after that i’ll have some deeper Thoughts but i missed being able to liveblog during the film so enjoy my rambling first reactions.

upstairs peeps

everything with violet was iconic. i'm glad that they didn't neglect her relationship with isobel and ofc maggie and imelda played fantastically off each other. pretty much everyone has already highlighted the scene with violet and mary at the end and it tied things up perfectly between them. violet and mary are so so similar and violet has been pushing for her to inherit since before S1. the movie showed us that mary is basically running the estate even if she doesn't get the the title and i can totally see why violet is confident in the future of downton now. that being said, i don't think violet will actually die. maggie has been talking about leaving since 2012 and fellowes obviously put this in as a get-out clause for her should she want to go, but i reckon they’ll convince her to do more. if carson's palsy can be mysteriously cured, so can violet's conveniently vague illness.

i already knew that robert and cora weren't gonna be in it much, but i wish we could've seen cora finding out what was happening with edith and helping her out. it wouldn't surprise me if there was a deleted scene there cause that whole storyline felt a little disjointed. i completely forgot that cora knew about the pregnancy and was so confused at how the queen foud out about it all. i don't think we got anything in robert and cora's bedroom, or anything with cora/baxter and robert/bates, which would've also been very welcome but i guess they can only fit in so much.

onto mary: this may be an unpopular opinion but god i miss her long hair. yeah i know it wasn't the style of the time but her wig in this one was tragic and they need to fix it. i absolutely love that t*lbot didn't exist for a solid 95% of this movie and mary got her rightful place ruling downton. i wouldn't say i’m the biggest mary fan but her arc felt like one of the more satisfying ones of the movie imo.

as someone who has been firmly #teamedith from day one i am delighted to see my girl happy and successful. literally all her outfits were A+ and not to be gay on main but those scenes of her in her nightclothes getting ready for bed gave me my rights. i’m sad that she seems like she's either given up her magazine or has less of a role in it now based on what they said outside???? she did seem unsatisfied with aspects of her position so hopefully she'll go back to doing some writing and publishing cause that was a good fit for her, and if edith and bertie are “modern” enough to travel without servants surely edith moving away from traditional grand lady duties and back to her magazine that wouldn't be an issue. 

the mention of sybil being gone seven years? yeah. thanks for the pain. tom accidentally saving the monarchy on no less than two occasions is the ultimate "congratulations you played yourself" moment but the fact he thought the army had sent someone to check up on him is the level of republican i'm trying to be on. i'm a bit ehhhh on his relationship with lucy, mainly cause i'd rather the screentime given to the newbies had went to established characters. but like sybil/tom was a wholeass epic romantic slowburn spanning several years through a war and across class divisions n shit and meanwhile lucy/tom have known each other for forty eight hours and had three conversations in a hallway so like obviously that’s just gonna pale in comparison????? like it just is???? i guess i don't hate it but it just was a bit unnecessary and the time coulda been spent on better things.

isobel didn't have all that much to do on her own but i appreciated her scenes with violet and i love that she was the one to figure out that lucy was lady whatever's daughter. penelope wilton's facial expressions during some of the exchanges with violet were great. i see lord merton has also undergone a miraculous recovery from his apparently serious anaemia but he also didn't appear much which was a big win for me!

team downstairs aka the ones i turned up to see

as a downstairs supremacist who has watched the screentime distribution in previous fifty two eps of the show, it’s fair to say i had low expectations going in. i expected a grand total of 10 minutes for the servants combined and i think that's why i was unexpectedly happy with what we got. ideally we would've ditched the subplots involving the personal lives of the royals and all the stuff w imelda staunton and her maid but oh well it could’ve been worse and i'll take any breadcrumbs i can get. anyway i'm eagerly awaiting the team downstairs cut of the film one of yall will hopefully make when the dvd comes out. the only part that was far, FAR too upstairs heavy for me was the last sequence of the film after the royals left and i think we would've benefitted from rounding things off with team downstairs after the ball.

so i guess retirement magically cured the palsy carson had, but i guess after matthew’s miraculous recovery anything can happen at downton when it comes to health. Fellowes is getting a free pass for retconning this one cause i cba with more death/loss. mary going to carson for help and him immediately coming to her aid was very sweet. kinda wish we'd find out what he was up to post-Downton (except for his gardening) tho.

i was expected zero carson/hughes content in this movie and yet !!!! and yet!!!!!! we were somewhat well-fed. like carson (incorrectly) thinking he can control the other servants and mrs hughes' "oh that went well charlie, start as you mean to go on" hdjksjs i love them. and the lil scene in their cottage ugh. also we got more of them using their first names and yeah i guess that makes sense given they've been married for a while now but as i said, i had low expectations.

mrs hughes is still like the best person ever but wbk. her vs. the royal housekeeper = iconic. i kinda felt bad for royal whatsherface in some ways because she clearly didn't know who she was up against THE elsie hughes who has vanquished much scarier foes in her time. the other servants were never gonna win that battle.

the 0.5 seconds of baby bates *chef's kiss* perfection. god i am slightly bitter it was only 0.5 seconds given the fuckin multiseason journey leading up to his birth. tbh we should've ditched everything involving the personal lives of the rando new characters and let baby bates have some of that time but fellowes loves upstairs too much to let that happen. the small interaction was adorable though and i'm glad the mention of his name was subtle enough that we can retcon it cause i truly believe anna and bates would've came up with a more creative choice than that. genuinely i'm so curious about their whole living situation and how they cope with a smol child while working full time but i doubt fellowes even considered that so y’know. what can we do. i enjoyed the breadcrumbs but i wanted more.

i did go into this film with the mindset of "something awful will probably happen to anna or bates," cause that's what usually happens in these things but plot twist!!!! we saw them smile on multiple occassions!!!! what a nice change for us all! i swear every time anna bates smiles an angel gains their wings. her scenes with mary were good and i'm happy their friendship made it into the film. you know what else i was happy to see? the EXTREMELY UNDERRATED brotp between anna and baxter. there was a couple of moments with them standing next to each other or talking to each other and it warmed my heart. like yass two of my fave people are friends. it's a big win for me. 

i'm sure i read something about brendan being involved in another project which meant he couldn't film too much (i'm curious to whether this impacted the lack of baby bates scenes?) and while it's true that bates didn't have a ton of scenes, i didn't feel like he was absent which was good.

thomas had the best storyline imo. i don't blame him for being angry that mary brought in carson and it was actually very iconic of him to go off in the library like that. i found it hilarious that while everyone else was panicking at downton he went off on gay adventures. i really wish we'd gotten this "thomas makes a gay friend then discovers the village's underground gay scene THEN gets a boyfriend" in the show cause that would've been SO MUCH BETTER than some of the other stuff that got stretched out across the last couple series (like the love quadrangle with daisy/ivy/alfred/jimmy). like, imagine thomas’ movie plot as a series-long arc. the impact. i liked the guy that was his maybe-boyfriend and i hope any continuation keeps that relationship going.

mrs p and daisy continue to be the mother-daughter duo of the century. i thought both of them were supposed to be moving to the farm post-S6 but i suppose that would've meant they wouldn't be in the film hence why it didn't come to fruition. i guess they could all move once daisy and andy get married. mrs patmore didn't get a great deal to do but i still feel like i saw her a fair amount. comrade daisy was awesome and is definitely me when i see any monarchy-related stuff. somewhere over the last few seasons she's developed into one of the most interesting characters in downton and we don't talk about that enough. andy trashing the boiler was immature af but at the same time i feel like it completely makes sense for daisy to take that as a compliment. it’s just such a daisy thing to do?????

now, there is one thing i kinda fucked up here. while i went into the film with low expectations for everyone else, i fully expected baxley to be A Thing because how could i not and boy did i come out looking like boo boo the fool. i guess baxter and molesley have continued the tradition of Agonisingly Long Downstairs Slowburns which would be okay if we were still getting one season per year but is quite frankly rude when we're on rationed content like this. the first half of the film i thought it was gonna be revealed that they were together or something but then that scene at the end implied they're dancing around each other and my god is it frustrating. i would give so much to trade tom and lucy's romantic subplot for a baxter/molesley one but once again i know that's an unrealistic dream.

definitely not enough baxter in general but that one shot of her, anna and mrs hughes standing in the same frame was worth the price of my cinema ticket. still love molesley even tho he's a monarchist.

in terms of the overall downstairs stuff, i'm euphoric at seeing all these people interact with each other again. as we all know, found family is the best trope and since the servants are literally the epitome of that every moment focussed on them is like chicken soup for my weary soul. was the revolution against the royal servants realistic? no. was it realistic for the two people who came up with most of the plot to be the ones who went to jail for doing literally nothing wrong and would therefore want to avoid stuff that could get them in trouble with an all-powerful family? also no! however, seeing downstairs all working together for a common goal is content that appeals directly to me and i am thankful.

shoutout to the last scene which is the best way the movie could've ended it for me. use of first names AND walking home together? thank u fellowes.

tldr; team downstairs fan who was strongly anti-movie, went in with low expectations, was pleasantly surprised.  there are a shit ton of things i’d change but i just really loved seeing these characters who all mean so much to me again. obviously the only reason this film happened was for financial reasons rather than a desire to continue the storyline (cause the finale tied things up perfectly imo) but i wish they'd done a two-part miniseries instead to ensure everyone gets some screentime. two ninety minute specials every few years would work much better if everyone wants to keep downton going but i guess that doesn't bring the cash in like a movie does.

[gotboredwrote]

Mini-Us // JFM

Pairing: Joseph Mazzello x Fem!Reader Word Count: 3.3K Style: One-Shot Warnings: Pure unadulterated fluff, swearing Summary: Y/N and Joe are ready for the “Bohemian Rhapsody” premiere in every way but one – Y/N has no idea what to wear to such an important event in Joe’s life, and Joe has no idea until the morning of. Thankfully, John and Veronica (Tetzlaff) Deacon are there to rescue the situation. Permanent Author’s Note: To clarify, I write because I get bored. Nothing is meant to be professional in any way, nor is meant to offend, cause anxiety, cause anger, cause sadness, or promote disagreement among readers in any sort of (semi)permanent way. A/N: In case this isn’t obvious, these stories are completely fiction, so please, PLEASE take it with a grain of salt that I am saying Deaky was involved with the “Bohemian Rhapsody” shoot. For the sake of this little blurb, I would like to imagine our dude and his wife-dude were involved, at least at the premiere. It should also go without saying that we as Queen/Deaky fans completely respect his choice to stay in retirement and remain a legend. Also, me posting two days in a row is not going to become normal so haha sorry enjoy anyway!

Masterlist

~

All the nerves buzzing around the room were infectious and electric – everyone’s adrenaline was sky-high knowing that the world would soon be able to appreciate all the hard work the boys, the producers, the crew, and Queen themselves put in to make this project a reality. The amount of detail and fist-pump-worthy music that was crammed into the two-hour film was enough to keep even a child with the world-record for the shortest attention span focused and entertained. It was a crowning-achievement for all involved, and no one could change their minds on that, including critics. Everyone had gathered in the lobby of the hotel the morning of the premiere to have the events of the day spelled out to them, that way things went as smoothly as possible. Everyone was with their plus-one’s, talking excitedly about the night’s events. Small talk being made here and there by crew and cast members who did not really know each other well, but enthusiastic nonetheless. At one point, Lucy made her way over to you and started excitedly babbling about her gown for the evening, and you smiled and complemented her choices whenever she took a breather and you had a moment to respond. Once she finished talking, she asked you to do what she just did – and all you could respond with was an averted gaze and flushed cheeks. At first, Lucy initially took that to mean that you were wearing something scandalous and that would make Joe react the same way you just did, with a little less aversion and a little bit more gawking. However, the polar opposite was true. When you spoke your truth, she entered full on crisis-mode, which made everyone spin around to listen in to your conversation.

~

“What do you mean, you FORGOT?” She was not screaming at you because she was mad at you, she just genuinely could not comprehend the fact that you forgot an outfit to wear to the premiere.

“H-honestly, I really don’t know. I was packing stuff for myself and Joey and I even had a list, but I guess that never made it on the list. This is so unlike me! I mean, I even picked out a special pantsuit with dinosaurs all over it for the Jurassic World premiere, and Joey wasn’t even in that! Ugh, you can’t even understand how frustrated I am with myself right now!”

It was at this point that the whole aggregation of people who were in the lobby, including those that had nothing to do with the premiere, turned to look at the two jabbering ladies. The main cast and crew noticed there was some tension in the way words were said and the way bodies were standing, so they made their way over. Joe, breaking the silence from the peanut gallery, said “Everything alright, girls?”

“Yeah, Joey, we’re just-”

“NO! Things are NOT fine, Y/N, don’t lie to him!”

At this point everyone was looking at you guys like you were speaking a foreign language because you both were exclaiming something is wrong, but would not elaborate on what said thing was. Eventually the glare Lucy kept giving you, along with purely concerned faces from Joe, Rami, Ben, Gwil, Allen, Brian, Roger, John, and their wives, forced you to break your silence and explain just what was going on. “Well, you see, in-in my haste to get here in time for the premiere with everything Joe and I needed for the weekend, it somehow slipped my mind to pack a gown, or any kind of professional outfit for that matter, for-for the premiere tonight. I did bring some stilettos, but unless leggings and a cropped tee shirt are acceptable, I’m kind of shit out of luck. Y-yeah…” To your surprise, Lucy was the only one who was not calm. The boys of the cast and the band seemed pretty neutral about the whole thing, and the plus-one’s among the bunch did not seem to take any real interest in your problem at all. The only one who actually seemed to want to help you in some way was Veronica Deacon, the wife of the man Joey portrayed. She listened carefully to your explanation, sauntered over to John, and asked him a question with some seriously convincing puppy-dog eyes. John’s reaction was simply a smile that brought out the crinkles by the corners of his eyes, which preceded a small squeal from Veronica who then made her way over to you. At this point you were sitting with Joe, Lucy leaving a few minutes prior to latch onto Rami’s arm, on one of the lobby couches going over the options you had about squeezing in a shopping trip in between the other stuff you needed to get done today. You both her the clicking of her small, dark green heels, and looked up.

“Hi, darling. I couldn’t help but overhear what you were talking, er, rather enthusiastically discussing with Lucy. Have you figured out a solution yet?”

You sigh, eliciting an upper-arm rub from Joe. “No, I haven’t, and honestly I don’t know how I’m gonna fix this. I’m not a forgetful person, if anything, I over-prepare for everything. And I am not missing this premiere.”

“And you aren’t going to miss it, dear. I just spoke with my John and I think I have a solution for you. And I promise, I will not be offended if you decline.”

“I truly have no reason to decline, Mrs. Deacon, not after everything you and John have done for Joey and myself these past months. Whatever you want to suggest, I am all ears.”

“Alright, but there is one condition – Joseph; I would need you to stay here and be okay with letting Y/N ride with me to the premiere, and I’ll send John with you.”

Joe simply looked at you adoringly, yet with a tinge of melancholy, gave you a small peck on the lips and said “She’s all yours as long as I get to walk the red carpet with my best gal.”

~

The beginning of the day went off without a hitch on everyone’s end. Each pair or group of people ran their errands, stopped for bites to eat, and made their way back to the hotel around 2:30pm to get ready for the premiere. Veronica was sat patiently in the lobby, chatting with John about various things, such as their children and something to do with money, and waited to see you and Joe pop back through the front doors of the hotel. Within seconds of your figures gracing through the doorway, Veronica grabbed John and explained the circumstances of what was about to happen, and then quickly ushered you back up to their room, John and Joe falling behind but eventually catching up with you. Once in front of the Deacon’s door, Veronica ran inside, grabbed everything John needed, and practically threw it out in the hallway. Joe’s face was the definition of deer-in-the-headlights, which got even worse when John simply started walking away asking Joe to take him to yours and Joe’s room. Veronica ushered you inside her room before you could ask any questions, dragged you over to the large bed her and John were sharing, pushed you to sit down and grabbed your wrists excitedly.

“So! My plan!”

“Honestly, Mrs. Deacon, you were starting to scare me a little bit. I think Joe is also pretty mortified right now,” ending your sentence with a lighthearted laugh.

“I sincerely hope you know that wasn’t or isn’t my intention, sweetheart. I just got so excited when John agreed to my idea for you that it kept bubbling up like a fizzy drink! Oh, also sweetie, please call me Ronnie. There is no need for formalities at this point.”

You continued to sit in front of Veronica, genuinely confused as to what was currently going on, but enjoying every second spent with her. You could see why John considered her his best friend.

“Since you’ve been on set quite a bit, I am sure you were aware that anything the boys had that fit the ones portraying them were loaned over for the duration of the film, so at least some of the costumes were accurate, right?” You nodded, but not following where she was going with this train of thought.

“Well, when the writers addressed that bit to them, they also turned to the wives and said that there would be a couple girls for two or three scenes that would be portraying us! Imagine that! So, they asked us if we could do the same! You know, bring some of the clothes we wore back in the late seventies, early eighties to see if they would fit those girls!”

You continued to nod, starting to get an inkling of an idea of where she was headed with her words.

“I actually still have those clothes with me! I didn’t keep a lot of them, my body changing after having six kids, as you can imagine. Which I am not complaining about! My children are my greatest accomplishment! But it’s common knowledge that the body changes with age and extreme conditions, and I would say bearing children is one of said conditions, wouldn’t you agree? Any who, I am going on a severe tangent, dear. My point is that you are a similar size to what I was back in those days, and I cannot help but wonder if something that I have would be worthy of trying on! I know that some of the patterns are a bit, how would you say, dated? But I have a couple things that are solid that just might do the trick. Would you like to see for yourself?

By the time she was finished explaining her idea, there were tears of gratitude spilling out of your eyes that you simply could not control. Now it was Veronica’s turn to be scared of you because she genuinely thought she said something that made you this upset. All you could do before words would form was grab her hands and hold them to your chest so she could feel the rapid beating of your heart. Eventually, the words you wanted to say braved the world, and you were able to choke out a thank you.

“I ser-seriously don’t think you *hic* understand h-how much this means to me, Mrs.- Mrs. Deacon. Ronnie. Wh-whatever. I was already eternally in your debt f-for everything else, but now it’s e-eternity plus one.”

The laugh of relief that escaped her throat at your words was enough to make you laugh just as hard, and at that point the plan had gone into full effect. Her room became a walk-in closet itself, and all that was left to do was find something that fit, text John to bring your heels up so Joe would not see you in advance. You glanced down at your hands, which had been trembling slightly ever since Veronica let them go, and immediately calmed down at the sight of your perfect-for-you engagement ring. This plan of Veronica’s was actually really good preparation for the wedding that would be in one year’s time.

~

It was 4:30, and it was time for everyone to get in their respective cars to head over to the premiere. Joe and John were forced to head out before Y/N and Veronica so they would not see you in advance of stepping onto the carpet, which worked smoothly. Eventually the cars all made their way to the venue, and everyone had made it to the premiere except for you, Veronica, Lucy, and Rami. John noticed your car pull up in front of the start of the carpet and tugged Joe’s sleeve to get his attention focused on the most important thing. The car came to a gentle stop, the driver hopped out, came around, and opened your door. Joe held his breath because he had no idea what was happening, and he was honestly slightly worried that something was wrong. But all that worry went away when he saw you stiletto-clad foot plant onto the carpet, a stark black against a bright red carpet. He was able to take in each element of your presence slowly and meticulously as you stepped out of the car, seemingly in slow motion. First, he noticed your shoes, which he had seen before, but for some reason looked different with all the anticipation. They were three-inch stilettos that had crisscrossed laces from the start of your toes, up the top of your foot, coming to a stop as a thicker band at the start of your ankle. The bottom of the shoe was no more than half an inch thick, which made him wonder just how the hell you walked in those without falling flat on your face. Then he noticed the finite amount of jewelry you were wearing. Nothing overly fancy, just the emerald-leaf promise ring on your right-ring finger, your engagement ring on your left-ring finger, and the gold-diamond tennis bracelet that hung semi-loosely on your left wrist he had bought you for your anniversary gift to go with the engagement. No other jewelry, and he could not help but think that it was just the right amount for you, considering you did not consider yourself a flashy person. Before he looked at your dress, his eyes made their way to your head, where he noticed your signature lack of makeup – again, not a flashy person, and your hairdo. A simple far-reaching side part, with the lesser volume side tucked behind your ear, and the more voluminous side bouncing gently with each step you took, your natural Y/H/C shining in the afternoon sun. Finally, he looked at the dress you were wearing, finally realizing what Veronica’s plan was all along. By today’s standards, the dress was not “in,” but boy, did you make it work. It was a full-length, thin, flowy light-blue denim dress that stopped right at the top of your feet, which he had to admit he had never seen before. There were no slits on either side, which was different from the normal gowns you wore to events. The dress hugged your curves just to the point where you could tell where Veronica was smaller than you, but not by much. Hip accentuated somewhat, but nothing provocative, the same happening at your waist, and the top laying just right on you. The dress was completely off the shoulder, top of the dress coming all the way down to the halfway point of your upper arms, hugging you just enough to stay in place but not be squeezing your arm enough to leave pesky lines. The simple denim was accentuated by a snow-white border of lace across the top all the way around, with the same pattern around the entire bottom of the skirt, as well as complimenting the ends of the flowy sleeves that went right past your elbows. It was… simply stunning. Gracefully you made you way over to Joe, who had not said anything to anyone since your car arrived, including you. You knew it should not have made you concerned, but it did. Especially considering you were now on your own, as Veronica had sauntered to John, peppering him with kisses after not having seen him all day and asking him if she did a good job. He seemed to think so, as he was staring at you both with a look that Veronica could not pin point. Once you were planted in front of Joe, nervously awaiting his response, you started to panic, thinking he thought you looked terrible. In an effort to get him to say SOMETHING, you spun around on your heels, prompting the skirt of Veronica’s dress to spin lightly in their air, revealing your bare legs underneath. After Joe had still not said a word and was still gawking at you, you finally broke your silence with a question.

“Are you not happy with how I look? I actually thought this dress was beautiful and was so excited that it fit and matched the heels. I’m really sorry you don’t like it, Joey. I didn’t want to ruin your night.”

“…are you actually being serious with what you just said?”

“I mean, you aren’t saying anything, so I thought maybe you-you hated this…”

“Y/N, I truly do not think I have ever seen you wear a dress that matched you as well as it does and looked as miraculously stunning as it does. I mean, you always look good in everything that you wear, and you know that I prefer you when you’re as comfortable as you want to be. But, like, I-I’m honestly stunned. You look absolutely ravishing, babe, I- wow. I feel like I’m drooling, am I drooling?”

Joe always knew how to make you a giggling mess, but you appreciated his comments nonetheless. You gave him a swift and passionate kiss that ended with you both grinning ear to ear on each other’s lips. You then wrapped your arms loosely around his waist, and his around yours, his head resting on yours, peppering kisses to your hair while you turned and mouthed a “thank you, Ronnie” in hers and John’s general direction. They both simply smiled and you could not help but notice that Veronica has some of the same eye crinkles that John has, and it made your heart flutter. Joe eventually pulled you away to hold your hand and escort you over to the carpet where the rest of the main cast was about to make their grand entrance, and Joe did not want you to leave his side the whole walk. The members of Queen and their wives followed suit behind them. Throughout the walk on the carpet, you kept your mind occupied with thoughts about Veronica and John’s relationship. It fascinated you. Despite everything they went through in their personal lives dealing with the grandiosity of Queen, they still managed to have a simple, loving, domestic life that was still as passionate, full of care, and days where they still seem to be wearing honeymoon-tinted glasses. Their relationship started in a slightly similar manner, wherein John was in the middle of the start of a long-fledged career that was going to bring temptations. But no matter what, he remained faithful to his best friend. You glanced down at the ring on your left hand again, then looking at Joe with doe-eyes, who, despite being preoccupied with about one hundred cameras pointed his way, still managed to glance your way. He gave you a sweet smile that basically confirmed the question that was swimming around your mind in the back of the Deacon thoughts: will Joe and I be like them? And with that simple look, you knew that the answer was a solid yes. Meanwhile, a little further behind you and the cast, Veronica and John were actually having a conversation similar to what was going on in your head.

“Ronnie, honey. I can’t help but notice something about Joe and his fiancé.”

“What’s that deary?”

“With Y/N wearing your dress, and Joe in that particular suit, I can’t help but realize that they are ironically similar to us, both in their actual personalities and their looks. Like from back in the day. I have to make it a point to ask Joe that I would be honored if their first dance as a married couple was to ‘You’re My Best Friend.’ They embody that song more than any couple I have ever met, and I mean, it just seems appropriate, y’know?”

“I couldn’t agree more, Johnny.”

[taylorhardybby]

sweetener // ben hardy x reader and bestfriend! Lucy x reader.

hi so basically the reader is a famous musician (shes pretty much based on Ariana Grande with syle elements from kylie jenner but picture her as anyone you like)  this is pretty long and I realised everything I've posted has had the same sort plot kinda so ill be changing that up I promise. 

5.7K words. 

also I've linked the songs that I mention  and ideas of the outfits I've mentions just cause i can I guess. enjoy xo 

_____________________________________

You were 19 when you first met Lucy. She was 22 and you met at a charity gala. You were new in the industry, barely knowing anyone. You and Lucy became instant best friends. She was like your big sister, your mom and your best friends rolled into one person and you couldn’t be more thankful for her. Fast forward three years and Lucy was working on one of her biggest projects yet. Bohemian Rhapsody. You had just released your lasted album and were only weeks away from tour, but when Lucy asked of you would come visit her you were on a plane within the hour.

You had barely seen your best friend in almost two months due to your album blowing up then your surprise world tour, for the last 10 weeks you spent every waking moment  rehearsing,  doing chorography, or at costuming fittings if you weren’t preparing for tour you were doing a interviews or attending events and award shows. You were completely exhausted. But you were new and young, and your record company had almost complete control over you. You were terrified if you said no, they would drop you, and you had worked too hard for that.

Your plane landed in London and you went straight to your hotel, Lucy would be filming until 9pm tonight then she was coming straight over to spend the night and in the morning you would both head over to the set. You were beyond excited, queen had been such a inspiration both musically and just in general through your entire life and to see even a tiny bit of the movie about them would be an honour.

It was 6pm when you got to your hotel, so you had three hours to kill, you considered just going for a walk and exploring but you had seen a few paps at the airport so you were sure there would be more. So you started rehearsing, you played the backing track to your newest song, Everytime. The choreography was fast and you kept messing up the steps during the chorus.

Time slipped away as you rehearsed, and your phone ringing brought you out of your trance.

“Hey sorry, ive bene so distract-” you were cut off, not even bothering to see who was actually calling, until you hear her voice.

“ive bene knocking for ages come let me in baby” you smiled at the nickname, lucy always called you baby, maybe it was because you were younger than her or she said it’s what her older sister would call her.

“oh my god sorry I’m coming lulu” you ran to the door of the hotel room apartment, the door swung open and Lucy was standing their champagne in hand and overnight bag in the other. She dropped her bag and pulled you in for a hug.

“I missed you so much lulu ”

“mee too, baby. I’m so sorry I miss everything” you had come inside and closed the door by now,

“your album release and the Grammys, you won and I wasn’t even there I’m  so sorry” you shook your head,

“its fine trust me its been crazy busy and this is important for you. I’m  just so happy that I get to see you now”

“yes me too now I want all the gossip”

You popped the champagne and shared not only that bottle but another you had found the mini bar, you spoke about your ex Kevin, and how he was inspiration for a few songs on your album. Lucy insisted on listening to your album from start to finish you didn’t mind. You loved your songs and you loved that your best friend sang along to every single word. Your tour was still a secret. Your record company wanted to announce it a week before you actually left, in the same way they kept your album a secret until a week before its release date. You were sworn to secrecy and you had told nobody but your mom, and when Lucy asked how you  were, really truly, you broke down.

“I’m a mess luce, I’m going on tour, surprise!” Lucy congratulated you but she knew you weren’t finished “I’m running myself ragged, if I’m not rehearsing im at a costume fitting I’m doing promo for the album or I’m at an awards show or event” you flopped back onto the bed trying to just let your body rest.

“I’m so tired I never stop. And thank god you called because this three-day break is such a blessing you have no idea” Lucy pulled you into a hug reassuring you it would all work out,

“what about with Kevin, how are you in realm” you sighed, you and Kevin broke up for a good reason, he was having personal issues and it was hurting you physically and mentally, so you left.

“I miss him so much, but I know that I did the right thing for me, I was so unhealthy always looking after him I forgot about me” you paused and thought for a moment “I think he’s better, from what I’ve heard, I still speak to his mom every now and then” Lucy nodded

“you did the right thing Y/N I know you loved him, but you need to look after yourself first” you nodded. The conversation turned a little lighter and you decided to pop another bottle of champagne just because you could,

“to us, successful women who are making shit happen” you made a toast and Lucy shouted back “to us” you changed the music and danced, laughed and just had fun with your best friend.

You woke up to the sun in your eye and Lucy’s alarm blaring, your head was pounding, and you looked around. Lucy was slowing waking up in the bed next to you. You had clearly tried to find pyjamas but you both looked like a mess. As you stood up out of bed you looked down at out outfit, a pair of black hotpants and a large oversized grey shirt tied in a knot and one blue sock. Lucy didn’t look much better and as you looked each their up and down you both laughed. The apartment was a mess. There was pillows and blankets everywhere, you counted 5 champagne bottles, all but one were empty the last was about three-quarters gone.

It was 7 am and Lucy was needed on the set at 8:30 so you both got ready, Lucy ordered breakfast- more specifically coffee, very strong and lots of it.

Once you looked presentable, Lucy looked you up and down raising an eyebrow,

“heels? Really Y/N” her tone was mockingly, and you just shrugged

“you know I love my heels, they make a statement” you twirled, and Lucy laughed at you

“also, I like to feel taller, it’s not easy being tiny”

Lucy drove you to the set, stopping to get more coffee on the way. You had music blaring the whole time just laughing and smiling. The set looked pretty normal and when you got there you followed Lucy to her trailer where you both set down your stuff. Her first costume of the day was already hanging so she got changed then wrapped herself in a coat. You followed her to hair and makeup,  and to your surprise Rami was already there when you walked in and Lucy introduced you of course.

Rami was very sweet and you felt much more comfortable knowing at least one more person liked you here. He mentioned your music and you blushed. These people knew who you were holy shit.

“I actually brought you album the day it came out, I love it” you laughed,

“thanks rami that’s really sweet of you, its still kind mind-blowing that people other than Lucy and my parents listen to my music” everyone laughed and the conversation flowed. Rami left soon after and Lucy finished not much later,

“okay so my the first scene today isn’t until later but we can go watch the boys film if you want” she checked her watch,

“they start in 20 so that heaps of time for you to meet them and what not” you nodded and just followed her into the sound stage.

From the moment you saw him you were breathless, you of course had googled all of Lucy’s co-stars as soon and she knew them but seeing him in person was something else, you eyes met his and you felt you cheeks heat up. You turned your face towards Lucy, sending her a smile but she sent you a knowing look. When you looked panicky, she giggled a little,

You walked over, and they group of four men turned towards you,

“hey Lucy, oooh who’s your friend” the man you assumed was playing john deacon spoke first.

“Joe, Gwil and Ben this is my best friend Y/N” she gestured to you and she spoke “Y/N this is Joe, Gwil, Ben and you of course know rami who you met earlier” you nodded and shook each of their hand but before you could say anything you were cut off,

“Lucy why didn’t you tell us that your Y/N was THE Y/N”  Joe playfully pushed Lucy and she tried to explain, but before you could get to deep in conversation the boys were called to their scene.

The scene was a short one and soon enough Lucy was whisked away to work so you sat there just on your phone, you felt someone come over towards you and you looked up. It was him. Ben Hardy. To say that you were in love was  a bit much, but he was so gorgeous it was hard not to. As he walked over to you smiled but internally you were panicking. You just kept telling yourself don’t make a fool of yourself, don’t do it

“Uh hey Y/N, where’d Lucy go” of course, he just wanted Lucy not you,

“oh she went to do some filming I’m not sure how long she’ll be”

“Okay cool so um are you hungry” you internally died omg what was he going to say holy shit

“I’m starving” he invited you to go with him for lunch, it was just Kraft services but you didn’t mind.

You spent the entire lunch hour just talking and laughing, it was so refreshing for someone to talk to you as just Y/N not THE Y/N.

You spent the next three days surrounded by the BoRhap boys and Lucy having the time of your life. You and Ben had gotten quite close and even while you were still in London if you weren’t with each other you were texting. You decided against telling Lucy, not wanting to make it weird between her and her co-stars.

Two weeks after arriving back in LA the tour was announced, it sold out almost everywhere and you were glad to see that your London tour date was the same weekend that BoRhap wrapped filming, Lucy had already texted that she was coming and that she would need six more tickets which you gave her no questions asked.

You went on tour and it was marvellous, the adrenalin you felt as thousands of people sang along to your songs was thrilling and you never wanted it to stop. You played shows all across the US, you were halfway through the US leg of the tour when you got a surprise. You had still been talking to ben every day and although you hadn’t put a label on it you felt pretty committed. You were in your dressing room, your show started in three hours, so you were slowing warming up your voice when you heard a knock.

When you answered the door there stood Ben his gleaming smile beamed from ear to ear, and he was holding a bunch of flowers, your favourite of course.

“holy shit what are you doing here” he pulled you into his arms and you hugged back excitedly,

“we had a few days off from shooting, so I thought I’d come visit you”  you pulled him into your dressing room and placed the flowers down, your eyes met, and the world felt like it melted away. He pulled you closer and whispered so quietly,

“Y/n can I please kiss you” you nodded,

“please” you barely got the word out from your mouth and your lips were on his.

Everything moved so fast and he fell back onto the sofa and you moved, straddling his lap. Every move felt like it was perfectly practiced and every touch felt like fire and you both shed yourself of clothes, ben of course being the perfect gentle mean continued to ask for permission before doing anything  you were to in the moment to speak so nodding sufficed.

Time passed, and you were lying in bens arms on the sofa, a random sheet covering you as you just held each other.  You lazily shared kisses and spoke about your time apart. The sound of your manager knocking on the door made you jump apart,

“Y/N they need you in hair and makeup” you jumped up and threw on your panties, bra and covered up with your robe.

“shit sorry ben, I totally lost track of time, stay here and I’ll send someone to come and get before the show”

“ill be waiting” you kissed him before closing the door behind you and walking down to hair and makeup.

You were in your first costume, as you walked towards the under stage your makeup artist fixed up the bright red lipstick you had on and you had you Mic in hand. You were ready.

You had never felt so pumped for a show before, partially because you knew Ben was there the other part was probably your post orgasm bliss. You snickered to yourself as you thought about it.

The show was a smash, the crowd were full of energy and so were you. As you walked off stage ben was waiting in the wings for you, he picked you up and spun you around, your lips connected as he did.

“what did you think of the show”

“you were bloody fantastic, I loved it the music, the dancing, the costumes” his kissed you again, “and I thought I was the rock star” you laughed at that one,

“you’ll always be a rock star” you walked hand in hand back to you dressing room, your meet and greet outfit was already laid out and you apologised to ben as you got changed.

“I’m sorry the meet and greets only go for 45 mins then we can go back to the hotel and I’m all yours I promise” he shook his head,

“it’s fine doesn’t apologise I need to make some phone calls anyway, you better keep that promise” he teased, you zipped up your dress. It was short red and left little to the imagination and you loved how ben eye you as you spun and asked his opinion.

“Y/n your making it hard from me not to rip that off your right now” you bit you lip and whispered into his ear,

“I promise you can rip it off later” you kissed directly behind his ear then giggled as he groaned when you walked away.  

The meet and greet felt like it dragged on for hours. Now you loved your fans but  the torment knowing exactly what was going to happen afterwards was enough to make you a little frustrated.

Finally you were back at the hotel, it was a short drive from where you had performed so the car ride wasn’t as tormenting as it could have been. But from the moment you stepped foot in the hotel room the door was locked, and your lips were on Ben’s and your legs were wrapped around his waist.

It was early morning before you had stopped. You both finally so exhausted that you fell sound asleep. Ben woke you up at around 11:30 the next morning apologising as the directors had called him and he was needed back on set ASAP. His flight left in an hour, so you said goodbye, and a little more very quickly and he left. Your next show wasn’t until tomorrow night, but you were flying there later this afternoon.

Three months after Ben had left your US tour was finished, you had gotten so sick and exhausted for weeks now you had been nauseous and your whole body ached. Your period was late, it was the stress. It had to be the stress.  You now had two weeks before the European leg of the tour started, and you were going to stay with Lucy. She had about a week and a half left of filming and although you really wanted to go visit the set you just so sick you could barely move.

Lucy picked you up from the airport and she took you back to her apartment. She brought it up first, after you had been explaining your sickness she blurted it out before she could stop herself,

“Y/N what if your pregnant”

“don’t be ridiculous how could I be- oh shit”

“oh shit what. What do you mean oh shit”?

“he-h came and visited it was months ago fuck why didn’t I think of this” you were rambling and so distracted you did even see your best friends face,

“Y/N who visited who are you talking about Kevin” by now you were crying, you shook your head

“no not Kevin, ben” Lucy gasped,

“ben who, Y/N”

“Ben Hardy” Lucy had that smirk,

“I knew it, I knew you were who he had been talking to”

“your not mad” you were so worried, that she would think you were unprofessional or soothing,

“not at all I don’t care I saw how you too looked ta each other when you first met, it was bound to happen”

So you explained to her when he came and surprised you three months ago and how you spent all night together alone in the hotel room, she was happy for you. That you had moved on form Kevin, but the looming issue was still there. Were you pregnant or not? Lucy disguised herself and drove down the street to the local pharmacy and brought a few tests.

You were terrified, your career had barely even begun and here you were at 21 and potentially pregnant to a man who’s 7 years older than you. You thought about your options, but you knew you would keep it. You had once promised yourself if something like this were to happen you would only get rid of it if it was going to harm you or if you weren’t going to be able to support a child. From what you knew it wasn’t hurting you and you had plenty of funds to support a baby.

You tried to think and work it out, the European part of your tour was only 3 months long. By the end you would be six-ish months pregnant. That’s not too bad. If you altered some of the choreography and costumes, you could probably hide it from the fans until then. It would all work out in the end.

You were brought out of your dream land when Lucy came back. She passed you the first test and came with you into the bathroom.

So you sat. three whole minutes. 180 seconds. The timer went off and Lucy grabbed your hand.

“no matter what that says, I’m here for you we can work this out” you nodded, took a deep breath and turned the test.

Positive.

You don’t even know how long you spent sobbing into Lucy’s arms. But eventually you got up and tried to fix yourself up. You and Lucy were meant to be meeting everyone for dinner tonight and it was 5 pm and you were a hot mess.

So, you showered, fixed your hair and did your makeup. You weren’t even sure how far along you were but now that you knew you were so paranoid that you look pregnant, so you put of two different pairs of spanx and threw on your least fitted outfit.

The dinner went well, considering you entire life had just changed an hour before and you were acting like you were perfectly fine. On the inside you were dying. You sat next to ben and he asked if you were okay more time than you could count. You felt horrible. You wanted to tell him, you really did but you couldn’t put that pressure on him. You could handle this own your own. Lucy surprised everyone with tickets to your London show at the end of dinner, and you were happy but terrified. Lucy had invited all the BoRhap boys as well as Roger and Brian. THE Roger Taylor and Brian May.  You were shitting yourself.

In the next two weeks you and Lucy went to the doctors and it was confirmed, you were 14 weeks pregnant. You had a meeting with your head of costuming and she agreed to fix your costumes as discretely as possible, so far only four people knew. Lucy, your doctor, your manager -Angela and your head of costume and makeup -JayJay.

Your London show came so fast, everyone had come backstage to see you. You were in your first costume once again . So far you hadn’t needed to fix the sizing you just wore a waist trainer and spanx underneath. You checked with the doctor who said it should be fine for a few hours for your shows, but you shouldn’t do it all the time. When you walked into your dressing room in your outfit Lucy gave you a worried look but she was confused when she saw no bump. You gave everyone hugs as they wished you luck, you thanked everyone for coming and promised them that this would be one of your best.

The show opened with one of your favourites on the album, God is a woman.  It was followed by breathin’ you spoke to the crowd and in a split second you had a costume change. You were wearing a sparkly red outfit now and your boots were now tan. You had changed your finale so when you changed into the lilac dress and boots, the first few beats of your new song filled the arena.

Breakfast at tiffany’s and bottles of bubbles,

Girls with tattoos who like getting in trouble,

Lashes and diamonds, ATM machine s

Buy myself all my favourite things

This was the first time your new song was being heard and the crowd loved it, 7 Rings was a hit and you finished the performance on a high like no other.

You came off and Lucy was there first screaming with joy

“WHERE THE HELL DID THAT SONG COME FROM ITS AMAZING” “it was a surprise its brand new I literally flew to LA the day before I came here to record it and we did the choro this morning” everyone was in awe of your work ethic and you were passed flowers and small gifts. you excused yourself to get changed. Lucy came with you.

“I can’t believe you went to LA to record the day before you came here, you were so sick that day”

“I know but they won’t let me perform songs until live recorded them in studio and I wanted to perform it for you guys” Lucy picked out an outfit for you before you both headed back to where everyone was.

Backstage the party was growing; your management had thrown a party to celebrate the start of your European tour.  Against all your wishes against it. Champagne was spilling, and the music was loud. You took a glass of champagne just for looks, you had no intentions of actually drinking it.

You found ben almost instantly and he embraced you, you still hadn’t told him but you were going to. Tonight. Its was selfish, you knew you were leaving on tour tomorrow and at least if he wanted nothing to do with you, you would be distracted. Heartbroken but distracted.

It was almost one and the party was still going strong, you took ben’s hand and asked if he wanted to back to your hotel room. You saw Lucy smile as you left, you had to do this. From the moment you were in the car the partition went up and all your plans went out the window. It was cruel, to keep the secret from him but a few moments of bliss before it could all potentially disappear was all you wanted.

You stopped it before it got too heated, one part of you said it was because of the paps and another was because you felt so guilty. Ben didn’t mention it. You went in through the back entry of the hotel and you went straight up to your room.

“Y/n what’s up you’ve been just a little off these last two weeks, Lucy said you’ve been sick” he paused, fuck. He knew. “are you okay, like are you really sick or something, last time I checked the flu doesn’t last for weeks” you sighed and ran you hand though your hair,

“no its not like that I’m not dying or anything I promise” you took a deep breath

“but there is something need to tell you” you sat down trying to calm your nerves, “now just know before I tell you I expect NOTHING from you okay but you deserve to know” Ben looked terrified, you were pretty sure he could have put two and two to bet but just to be clear you said it,

“I’m pregnant, 15 weeks to be exact and its yours”  he didn’t move you swore he barely even breathed. Tears were slipping down your cheeks you wanted him to do something, scream or yell anything was better than silence.

“please. Please say something I’m so sorry it took this long to tell you-“ but he cut you off when he attached his lips to yours.

“I love you Y/n I really fucking love you, and I was going to ask you tonight anyway, but will you be my girlfriend officially”

You nodded, not trusting your words.

“I love you to ben, I really fucking love you too”

You decided to announce your relationship to the fans the next day, as much as you wanted to keep it a secret the longer, they know about it  the less of a shock the pregnancy should be. Hopefully. You posted a selfie of you and Ben, he was kissing you sweetly and it was obvious what had taken place earlier. You had taken the picture month ago and you both loved it.

Now that Ben was finished filming BoRhap and his next project started in 3 months, so it seemed logical that he would  come on tour with you. You decided that he was going to head home and take a few weeks off just relaxing and what not then he would meet you when you got to Paris. It sounded perfect.

It worked. Tour was hard, each day your bump grew, and it was getting very difficult to hide it in the end. But with lighting and costuming you finished tour with a six-month-old baby bump and it was still a secret.  A few weeks into the euro tour you changed all your costumes to from body suits and peplum to flouncy dresses. They all looked gorgeous and you were totally going to be using then in your other tours.

Ben was a god send. You loved having him with you and when tour was over, he was moving to the states. After a hard decision he decided to move to your house, instead of you moving in with him. Living in LA would probably benefit him in the long run anyway, so it wasn’t too hard of a decision.

You had decided to announce your pregnancy at the BoRhap Premier. Your dress was ready. It was the first tight dress you had worn in a while and it perfectly showed your  7-month-old baby bump. The fans were loving your relationship and you hoped the reaction to this would be as happy.

The day of the premier had arrived and you had spent hours In hair and makeup, you were nervous. Excited but nervous. You swear you heard the gasps as you stood out from the car. You were sure it was already world wise news,

“Americas sweetheart Y/N pregnant at 22 to her 28-year-old boyfriend”

You spent the night being questioned about your bump; why it was kept a secret, how far along were you blah blah blah.

By the time you got inside you were exhausted. Your feet hurt, because you were wearing your beloved heels of course. Your face hurt from smiling and your back was killing. Ben tried to look after you, and he got you everything you wanted. Lucy and Rami had also announced their relationship tonight, so the press was buzzing with all this new information.  Lucy sat next to you laughing at all the notifications you were getting,

“hey baby I think you broke the internet have you checked anything”

“im too scared, can you. Check my twitter” Lucy nodded, and she gasped

“they love it. Everyone loves it. Look your fans they did the maths and realised you were pregnant on tour and they love you for it” you started crying. Fucking pregnancy and its hormones . what a relief.

The premier went well and once you flew home, you were on the plane with all the BoRhap boys and Lucy  because as they had promo for the next few weeks. You had already decided to do another album, and you had a few songs ready to go, that you were recording then once you had the baby you would take three ish months off and you would be back in the studio.  Your record company had decided instead of doing another tour if your album was received well you would do more events like award ceremonies  and music festivals. You agreed. You knew that you wanted to continue with music and your baby would always be your first priority.

On the exact day you were 39 weeks, you were standing in the recording booth, it was your last day and you had one last verse to record. Ben had promo all day and you were meeting for lunch in about and hour. As you sang your last lyric everyone clapped, and you were beaming.

“fuck”  this caught the attention of your manager,

“Y/n is everything okay?”

You shook your head,

“my waters just broke”

You were rushed into your car and Angela your manager drove to the hospital as you called ben. He was in the middle of an interview when he was ushered off stage,

“what wrong,”

“Y/n’s waters broke and she son her way to the hospital this interview finishes in about 5 then you’re going straight away”

When Ben arrived with Lucy in tow you were in the hospital bed trying get through another contraction.

At 3:21 pm your gorgeous baby boy was brought into the world. Noah Benjamin Jones was perfect in every way. He was a carbon copy of his father, much to your disgrace. Nine months of pregnancy and he looks like his father. Typical male.  

Noah was the perfect baby, and as you went back to work, he came along and was an angel. When Noah was three you toured again you took your little family with you. Noah loved to see all the new cities and he became a crowd favourite when he would come out and dance with his mamma on stage for his favourite song. History seemed to repeat itself and you found yourself pregnant again in your last few weeks of your second tour.

Your family grew,  your second child was born, a little girl Lucia Rae Jones, named after your best friend of course Lucy.  When Lucia or Cici, was six months old you and ben finally decided to get married. It was a quite a large wedding, but it was full of love and that mattered to you.

[bbnibini]

i'm sorry asdfghjkl but do you mind giving the general spoilers for season 2? i stopped playing for a few months and now my team are too weak and i'm stuck in Lesson 25 😭 but i'm dying to know wth happened wheezes

Oh wow. You must have been one of the few who saw that mess of a post I've written when I was really tired and sleep-deprived. ;; Looking back on it...it does seem pretty unlikely. Hahaha, which is why I deleted it; But! I've now made my bed, so I suppose I'd lie on it too! (take note that this is a very condensed and slightly sleep deprived, I have-online-class-in-a-few-hours vers. so it's not the best summary but I tried:)

1. Christopher Peugeot, the author of TSL is actually Simeon (as it was already heavily hinted). He was requested to write a script for a play for the school festival. Levi finds out and LOSES HIS MIND. (His fanboying is p cute actually hahaha). He offers to make costumes for the play. Levi is just really cute in the play arc, basically haha.

2. We also find out Simeon has a rather...ruthless side to him? I forgot which character but he called him a sadist. He was rather strict when rehearsing for the play and his whole demeanor changed while overseeing it.

3. We went to an amusement park. Had a cute date with Mammon and our "child" (Little D#2 calls him Papa lmao my favourite part tbh) idk if you read this already tho. Some "step on me mommy" moments with the Demon Bros. We do some OP shit. The Demon Bros totally simped for it (despite them saying otherwise).

4. We had to prepare for exams so Satan had to tutor us. He's being very adorable while teaching us and even meows at some point. Or was it us that meowed? Forgot. Some of the bros + angels also join in. We learn Solomon is mostly responsible for the tutoring in Purgatory Hall but since he is currently investigating something with Lord Dia, the angels went to us for that.

5. There was a dance. Your choices mattered for it. STAY LOYAL=get rewarded (but break others' hearts in the process). Hoe around=everyone's happy. Until they find out you are hoeing around. Pretty funny scense ensue.The pseudo route arc was pretty cute and I wish they'd implement it more. (There's also a cute bonus if you choose not to dance with anyone ;) )

6. Asmo gets a bit of chara devt in the Blood Moon Arc. Levi in the time loop arc. I only remembered being a mess of feelings while reading it I'm sorry because MY BABY ASMO IS GETTING THE ATTENTION HE DESERVES T^T

7. Beel gets hungry, fricks shit up with the reaper! But! No worries! Solomon's best buddies with the Reaper (he's totally lying btw He has no friends), they fix that up by trespassing in his house! Wooh! Everyone happy!

8. Until everyone isn't. Lucifer's dead. Sort of. Solomon was about to tell us what Dia had been keeping from us then we got a cliffhanger T_T

9. But he's not actually dead. He just got amnesia! :') But that's not good too. (Besides him acting really adorable while in said amnesia). MC got OP cause of angel blood + tons of pacts with powerful demons that it caused an imbalance in the world + caused Luci to do the forgetti. The only way to literally save the 3 realms is to become as shady as boomer wizard (oh yeah we find out Solomon is as old as fossils too) or take the reaper dagger and dissolve all our pacts with the bros. :(

That's about it! Sorry for the weird summary haha. I was worried about character limit. I'm sure other blogs have summarised the events better.