#shit's been toxic everywhere wow

[berisims]

Ƭ Σ Λ M D Λ Я K 👽🦇🤖

[chaosprompts]

𝙄𝙏'𝙎 𝘼𝙇𝙒𝘼𝙔𝙎 𝙎𝙐𝙉𝙉𝙔 𝙄𝙉 𝙋𝙃𝙄𝙇𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙇𝙋𝙃𝙄𝘼 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙎𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙉𝘾𝙀𝙎  -  PART 2  - trigger warning for : sexual themes, violence, and alcohol mentions.

“you are busted !!” “i do back flips every single day of my life.” “do a back flip right now, please.” “would you like a rice crispy treat ??” “tell me it was good,  tell me i’m good.” “now,  what do you think about these suspenders ??” “you’re my one and only.” “you light one bitch on fire and everybody freaks out.” “oh you son of a bitch !!” “we cannot have you around screwing things up !!” “what.  is.  happening ??” “bro.  that is badass.” “you know what it is bitch.” “go fuck yourself !!” “now.  i’m  very passionate  about dominating other men.” “oh god i will dice you into a million pieces.” “alright,  now that that’s settled we can have a normal conversation.” “you’re not the boss of me.” “i traded all my garbage pail kids for you.” “well that was stupid.” “look at me when you’re talking to me !!” “i went from a tiny twink to the muscle bound freak you see before you.” “what’s going on,  man ??” “ewww  god no.” “don’t say it out loud.” “whatever dude.” “dude,  you are going to get into a lot of trouble.” “what kinda creampie are you talking about ??”  “is there anything we can do to have you not talk about like.  sucking penises ??” “your bird quit.  and unfortunately,  it’s no longer legit.” “get a chair.  smash it  on my back !!”  “not confusing.  just ... settle down.” “are you going to set the building on fire ??” “what do you mean ??”  “he’s gonna kill me !!” “i’m fine !!  i’m independent !!  i don’t need you !!” “what’s with your outfit,  man ??” “wildcard bitches !!” “what’s your bean situation ??  you got some beans on you or what’s up ??” “nontoxic and safe.  we don’t want  safe  we want  toxic.”  “what the hell !?”  “i’m gonna put my thumb through your eye you little bitch !!” “what dude !?  where are you getting that from ??”  “bro,  i can handle my sedatives.” “you’re definitely not a twink.” “what’s a power bottom ??” “does the power have to do with the size or strength of the bottom ??”  “does that sound like a man who needs a hospital ??” “dude.  you are going to  love it.” “that felt good,  was that sexy ??” “i think i’ve been poisoned !!”  “can i offer you a nice egg in this trying time ??”  “you wanna come in my room ??”  “i see where you’re going with that but it sounds like it could get a little messy.” “i’m sorry,  i’m a little confused here.  you just said that  he’s  your best friend ??  how is he your best friend over me ??” “to be honest with you man,  i’m a little shocked.” “i’m a little thunder struck.” “i didn’t mean to thunder strike you.” “i can’t do it.” “i’m just here for moral support.” “son of a bitch !!  this is a scam.” “i’m gonna kill you !!” “well then,  just breathe for me.” “get the hell out of here !!  shoo away from me.” “i’m not a dick.” “that was too dark.” “well let it go,  alright.” “this is the best place to hide in my apartment.” “i’m thinkin’ does he have a knife ??  are we gonna have to take this bitch out right now ??” “trees ??  everywhere trees ??  what the hell is this place ??” “you are going to fail and bomb and gag and fail and bomb.” “you’re so stupid !!“ “you are  anooooyiiiiing !!” “is that table having a meal consisting of only of loud noise,  screams,  and hollers ??” “of course i have candy.” “wow,  good candy.  good candy.” “how much cheese is too much cheese ??” “does that calm you down ??” “i’m talking to myself but that’s just because i’ve got shit to say.” “you know what it is bitch.” “i’m very confused by the whole thing to be ... if i’m being honest.” “holy shit.” “play some music.” “laughs are cheap,  i’m going for gasps.” “it was pretty good.  it was alright.  it wasn’t great,  but it was fine.” “this game has gone on long enough.” “i’m playing both sides so i always come out on top.” “i don’t like to think about it !!” “this doesn’t represent me,  though.” “it gets blocked up in my mouth i don’t say it no good.” “i gotta go sleep.  i’m not feeling good at all.”

[sunnikko]

6.

which ship fans are the most annoying?

Sunburn and Suntan.

I knowww I knoowwww that some people that follow me like them but I am so tired of seeing the same thing being said by them over and over again everywhere.

Ignoring the intimidation and attempted assault when they saw each other again after 4 years, yeah, it's cute I guess. I can see that she does care, but like if you were to see a friend after so long and they mock and threaten to beat you up, what would be your first thought? Definitely not "wow they're so good-looking." You'd have to have no sense of self worth to actually think that way.

As for suntan, a lot of these fans tend to twist the view of normal things that could also just count as platonic friend things (stares at the white and orange pinwheel placed next to each other. (If you're saying suntan is canon from that, then what about the other pinwheels??? If we're just gonna base off the ship off of those two being near each other, then clearly the other pinwheels means that that ship is canon.) (And I know for a fact that omori fandom hates *looks at notes* AubMari and HeroSun. Do you see my point and their supposed logic?))

Like people shit a lot on Sunnflower and then don't realize that their ships can also be considered toxic.

AND ON ANOTHER NOTE!!!! If you're gonna make an AU, can you please keep the shipping on the minimum. Like some hints or implications is ok but please don't make it the AUs entire personality like I want LORE and STORY not watching the repeated suntan, sunburn, photobomb shit going on. And actually, this goes to every other ship involving the group, if the ship has actual impact in the story, then it's acceptable but other than that. No :'3 it's not enjoyable at all, and I know a handful of people who would agree with this lol

Like, the only AU I think that does a pretty good job at what I'm trying to explain is Dreamscape rn (it's the first one that popped into my head teehee)

Ofc that's my opinion. And people might be like "wow!!! Mikko is a hater!!!" I always have been, I just wanted to be polite 🫶 but also if I was honest I'd be the meanest person ever known so y'know.

[smolwritingchick]

Forced To Believe Chapter 66- Confronting The Sellout

Summary: The Shield confronts Rollins after his betrayal. Rollins brings up the idea of wanting Morgan to join him in The Authority.

Words: 4,000+

Author's Note: Just a warning this got a little bit of Melanie's toxic ex-boyfriend.

------

After the show, Melanie met up with Greg at a local bar while getting followed by some of the Total Divas to keep a watchful eye. Unaware her girlfriends were keeping track of her, she sat across from Greg at a table with a frown.

"You got ten minutes," she spoke calmly.

She still felt a ton of emotions. It felt weird seeing him again after all these years. Her guard remained up as she watched him carefully when he let out a sigh.

"Look, I'm trying to make things right. I want to start over with you and at least be friends," he spoke.

"Nine minutes and 50 seconds."

"I brought you these," He revealed a bouquet of flowers and a small bag of grapes.

Grapes, huh? He somehow paid attention unlike years before. But unable to resist her favorite fruit, she grabbed the grapes and accepted it with the flowers.

"Wow...thanks, I guess. I'm surprised you even know I like grapes,"

"You don't like grapes, you love them," he corrected her with a grin and gestured to the drink he lightly pushed towards her. "Here's your drink,"

"I'm not drinking with you. You can forget about that shit. So, let's cut to the chase. You've been in jail all this time?"

"Yeah. It was a couple of months after we stopped dating. I just got into some back shit and I suffered the consequences," he frowned and took a big gulp of his beer.

Melanie watched his body language. It was clear he didn't want to go into detail.

"So you were locked up all this time? Last thing I heard was you were in some car accident and didn't make it,"

"Nah, I'm still here. Did you miss me at all?"

"No. I haven't,"

"Well I missed you,"

"I gotta go," she stood up.

"Our ten minutes isn't up yet,"

"I stayed here long enough,"

"Can we see each other again?"

"I don't know. Being around you, and listening to all you're saying is bringing back unpleasant memories,"

"I'm trying to change."

"And good luck with that," she replied and left him alone.

She was glad she handled herself well. Her old self would have been an emotional wreck and had the urge to embrace him. It was weird seeing him again after all these years but she was glad she had moved on from wanting anything with him. And a big factor was Jon making her strong mentally.

"This dude gotta go. Now." Nattie said, while seated at a nearby table with a frown.

"Agreed. What are we gonna do?" Nikki asked.

"You think she's gonna visit him again?" Ariane wondered.

"He's been following her, and flying everywhere she is for WWE Live events and other shows. It's getting bad. She can't see him again. We're gonna have to intervene," Renee sighed.

Suddenly Milena started to tear up after paying close attention to Greg's actions since arriving.

"Milena, are you okay?" Trinity asked.

"This has got to end, now. Did you see the drink he ordered for her?" Milena pointed out. "He put something in it,"

"No way! You don't think he would try to drug her drink to make her pass out and then..." Brie stopped herself and began to look extremely concerned.

"What a sick bastard!" Nikki exclaimed. "We gotta tell Jon ASAP."

"On it." Renee took out her phone.

"I don't like the gifts he gave her too," Milena added as she began getting angry. "I wish she didn't take them with her. You never know what people put in things anymore,"

------

Back at Melanie and Milena's shared hotel room, Milena made it back before Melanie and passed the time, watching TV. After about 20 minutes, Melanie returned, placing the flowers and grapes on the table.

"Where were you?" Milena asked, standing up from the bed.

The Outspoken Diva exhaled. "...I met up with Greg. I know. Dumb. I get it. I don't need a lecture,"

At least she didn't lie but Milena frowned and spoke, "Please don't tell me you're smitten by him again. After everything. Please tell me this is the last time you see him,"

"I—"

"Melanie you have every right to be upset with me, Jon, and everyone else. But you have to understand that we did this for your safety. And the fact that you went to see him today—"

Melanie's irritation began to reach its peak. "I am so fuckin' tired of everyone thinking I need saving! I don't need saving! I'm fine! Everything is fine, Milena. Nothing is gonna happen,"

"You say that but you still went to see him. Do you not remember what you suffered because of him?!"

"I'm trying to put that behind me!" she exasperated and opened the bag of grapes, preparing to eat one.

"Don't eat that!" Milena marched up to her and slapped it out of her hands.

"What the hell, Milena?!"

"Don't eat that! And don't receive anything from him, again! You never know what he might have done to those grapes! He may have injected it with some drug! Shit, he may even have a hidden camera in those flowers too, watching you! He's been looking at you lustfully, ever since you two saw each other, again. You cannot give in to his bullshit of trying to be nice! Okay!? Melanie, you have to think!"

"I am­—"

"No, you're not!" She shouted, making Melanie's eyes widen.

The Philly Diva was startled at the sudden emotion Milena was displaying. It sounded like this was a passionate subject for her.

"Hey, what has gotten into you...?" She asked while Milena started to cry.

"You're trying to fix that broken relationship with someone who has harmed you. Mentally. When I heard Greg was back, I wanted to do everything I could to make sure you deal with something worse. Just please...don't go back to him. Whatever you're going to do, do not go back down that road. Just stay away from him. please,"

Melanie pulled her in for a hug as her heart began to ache while listening to her. It was rare to see Milena like this since she was always so bubbly with her.

Pulling away, Milena grabbed her hands and spoke, "You have a good man, Mellsie. Jon's crazy about you. He always calls us to check up on you, because he knows you don't want to talk to him. But I want you to know that he wanted to do everything he could to keep Greg away from you. We all know Greg is doing an act. I just hope you get it through your head and see for yourself. Just please...please stay away from him, okay?"

"I...okay. All right, Milena. I'm sorry,"

"Thank you." she smiled and pulled her in for another hug. "Let's toss these things out,"

"Yeah. Might as well,"

Milena was right. So right. Ever since Celeste and April weren't around that much, she really didn't have a special girlfriend to vent to or chat with. A girlfriend who would always know the right things to say. But ever since Melanie and Milena have started to work together, Milena has been the most supporting, caring, and helpful friend, Melanie could ask for. She took her words to heart, and it made her ponder about the situation.

She'll stay away from Greg. For her safety. However, there was still a thought in the back of her mind to want to know his true motives and catch him slipping in this little act he was doing.

-------

Next Monday, Melanie walked backstage, already in her Shield attire.

"Hey, it's the Melster! What's going on?" Colby greeted, looking up from tonight's script.

"Hey. I'm good. Nice suit, Corporate Rollins." She teased as she checked out his black suit.

Colby let out a hearty laugh. "Thanks, grapes."

"No problem." She grinned but then tried to smack him with the hidden cream cheese in her hand but he swiftly grabbed her wrist.

"Haha. Not today." He laughed before making her hit herself with her cream cheese covered hand.

"Colby! Cut it out!"

"Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?" He laughed again and released her. "I win this round."

"Asshole..." she laughed and wiped her face.

Later that evening for RAW, 3MB were in the ring cutting a promo on how The Shield was supposed to come out to talk. But before Heath could speak further, the Hounds of Justice made their way to the ring, not in the best of moods.

"I am in no fuckin' mood for this shit..." Morgan muttered as she walked through the crowd, still feeling the painful effects of chair shots all over her body.

"I would run. Run. Run anywhere but here." JBL said.

"Especially in the mood Dean Ambrose, Morgan Lopez, and Roman Reigns must be in," Cole added.

Morgan jumps over the barricade and walks around the ring while Roman and Dean get in the ring to take on 3MB.

"And here we go, 3MB tryna take out Ambrose and Reigns." Cole looked on.

"Where is Morgan going?" King asked.

Reigns and Jinder get out of the ring, as Roman starts pummeling him with punches until Drew throws him off of him. Ambrose jumps on top of Drew and starts headbutting him. Meanwhile, the crowd erupts in cheers once Morgan takes out a guitar.

"Uh oh. This isn't good."

"Maybe she wants to join the band," JBL responded.

"I doubt it," King said while Dean and Roman threw Drew over the timekeeper's area.

They throw Jinder into the barricade and pick him back up for Morgan, who whacks him in the head, with the guitar. Ambrose runs over and jumps on top of Drew.

"And Ambrose isn't done yet. A rabid Ambrose." Cole said as Ambrose tilted his head with a crazed look.

The Outspoken Diva turns her attention to Heath who was trying to call his boys to leave. He starts walking back up the ramp, with her stalking him.

"Heath Slater is wisely retreating," Cole exclaimed but as soon as Heath stepped onto the stage, he got speared as the crowd erupted in loud cheers.

Roman does a battle cry and starts walking down the ramp. Morgan pats his back and they both get in the ring, to meet up with Ambrose.

Dean grabs a mic and tries to calm himself down.

"Get a hold of yourself, Dean," JBL said as Ambrose began seething.

"Calm down. Calm down." King cautioned while Roman paced around and Morgan crossed her arms with a stern look on her face.

"The Shield...was untouchable. And we will go down in the history books, as one of the greatest groups in sports entertainment, ever!" Dean spoke and began tapping the mic with his index finger. "We dominated WWE, we beat everybody. Even Evolution. But we weren't healthy. We had a Cancer...inside of us. Little did we know, and that Cancer's name. That Cancer's name is Seth Rollins..."

Hearing Seth's name caused Morgan's heart to ache. Those chairshots...it traumatized her. But she couldn't help but remember that look in his eyes. Hesitation...? What was truly going through his head?

"History is full of people like you, Seth, everybody in this building knows somebody like you, Seth. The kind of guy that would stab his brothers and sister...in the back. Suck up! You sell out to The Authority." Dean angrily continued. "Now when I get the opportunity to rearrange your face, which I will. Your nose isn't gonna be here anymore, it's gonna be, over here...by your ear. I say ear cause you're only gonna have one left. I'm gonna rip your dirty, stinkin' hair out by the roots, I'm gonna stuff it in your mouth. There'll be plenty of room where your teeth used to be. Seth Rollins..."

He gritted his teeth and started patting his chest, "My brother...you are scum. And we are looking forward to what that scum has to say tonight. We want you to stand out in this ring, in front of the whole world, and lie through your teeth. We want you to stand out here in the middle of this ring, in front of the whole world, and we want them to hear Triple H's words, coming out of your mouth. We're gonna listen to every word of it, and then we're gonna beat the hell out of you!" He threw the mic down on the mat, as the crowd cheered.

"Whoa," King said in surprise.

Ambrose picks up the mic and chuckles before kissing Morgan's hand and giving the mic to her, making her and Roman grin.

She let out a big sigh as she faced the crowd who cheered her on loudly. "I have so many things to say to you, Seth...but I'm gonna say them when I see you face to face. You and I...we're gonna have a nice little chat, tonight. Prepare thyself." She handed the mic to Roman as the crowd cheered him on.

"Oh boy, that sounds dangerous." King looked on.

"Seth you committed the most unforgivable sin," Roman stated and shook his head out of disappointment. "You're the scum of the earth...it's things you don't do in life. You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't piss in the wind, and you don't ever stab your brothers and sister in the back. But you're only part of the problem. The other parts are Randy Orton, Rosa and Triple H. Orton he runs around here, and he thinks he's the face of the company. When I get my hands on you Randy, you're gonna be the ass of this company. And when I'm done with you, Morgan over here." He patted her back. "...is gonna go after your little play toy, Rosa. She's gonna dismantle and maim her little ass, and she's gonna regret the day she stepped into this company. And then...I'm coming after you, Triple H. The King of Kings."

Roman shivered with Dean, and 'oohed' like they were scared, making Morgan laugh.

"We're gonna have our own Game of Thrones. Believe that!" He tossed the mic away as their theme came back on.

"Short, sweet, and to the point. Ambrose, Lopez, and Reigns, have laid out their plan." Cole announced while Dean, Morgan, and Roman bumped fists with each other.

"I wouldn't want to be Seth Rollins, I can tell ya that," King added.

-----------

Later that evening, Michael Cole was in the ring to finally try to get answers from Rollins.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, a man who's been the center of controversy over the past week. He is a former member of The Shield. Please welcome, Seth Rollins." Cole announced.

Rollins walks out in a black suit, with a new theme, ignoring the extremely loud 'You Sold Out!' chants from the crowd. Getting in the ring, he sits down with Cole.

"Seth, welcome. It's been a lot of talk over the last week—­"

"Michael, let me stop you before you get started. I don't—" He looked at the crowd as they booed him. "I don't get it, I don't understand what the controversy you're talking about, is all about. Are you talking about what I did last week? Is that a big deal? Because to me, that wasn't a big deal. I was doing what was best for business."

Morgan tweets 'Here we go...the best for business bull.'

"What was best for my business. The Shield, the greatest faction in the history of WWE, created by me. You don't think I have the right to destroy my own creation? It takes an architect, a mastermind to put together a faction like The Shield. You think Dean Ambrose is anyway responsible for that? Dean Ambrose is a lunatic. He's face down in a ditch in a week. Roman Reigns...the golden boy. You'll never see anger or fury in a man like you see in Roman Reigns." He chuckled while Morgan, Dean and Roman were watching backstage.

"Without someone to harness that, control it, he's nothing. He's worthless. And then there's Morgan Lopez...my precious little Morgan..." Rollins smirked as he thought of her as Morgan watched anxiously. "One minute she's happy, the next she's as crazy as her lunatic boy toy. She's so stupid...why are you back with the man who cheated on you? Why do you keep trying to go after The Authority when they only come back stronger? Why do you keep sticking your nose where it doesn't belong? Just give it a rest. You're never going to take down The Authority. Not while I'm here, now,"

"You don't mean that..." she muttered, shaking her head.

Having enough, she walks away from Dean and Roman to prepare to go to the ring.

"Dean Ambrose, Morgan Lopez, and Roman Reigns are nothing without me! They owe me every ounce of success they have ever achieved!" Seth yelled.

"Seth, many people will argue that The Shield was about four individuals who came together to form an awesome team. Not just about one person," Cole brought up.

"I guess we'll find out later tonight when the pathetic reminisce of The Shield have their loss to Raw out here, against The Wyatt Family and Rosa. Let me ask you a question, Michael, why is this such a surprise? I took The Shield to the very top, to the highest we can go. We beat everybody, we conquered the world, Michael. At Payback, we beat Evolution in a clean sweep."

Morgan tweets 'You took The Shield? You took The Shield? As far as I'm concerned, your punk ass walked out on us not once but twice! #TwoFacedRollins'

"And from every experience in life, you should learn something. You know what I learned from Evolution? I learned that to be a success in this business, you have to evolve. You have to adapt!" Seth stood up from his seat as the 'You sold out' chants began again. "No, no, no, no, no, I bought in. I bought into the evolution of Seth Rollins. And another thing you won't admit."

He pointed to Cole and then the crowd, "It took a lot of guts to do what I did last week. And everybody's fixated on the fact that I stabbed my brothers and sister in the back. That I betrayed my brothers and sister. And maybe to Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and Morgan Lopez, we were a family. But to me...they're just..business partners. And I severed a business relationship. You know, for two years, every night, I came out here and I put my fist out and I said believe in The Shield. And every night, what I meant, is what I'm gonna tell you right now...is that you, and everybody else better start believing in Seth Rollins!"

He sat back down. "So that's it, Michael. That's all you wanted to hear, right?"

Morgan's theme comes on as the crowd erupts in loud cheers.

"This is gonna be good," JBL said as she walked out with a sorrowful look on her face while Cole and Seth turned their attention to the stage.

"Aw, I hate it when she's upset. Turn that frown upside down, Morgan! Come over here and I'll give you a hug." King suggested.

"Shut up..." JBL retorted.

She walks over to the steel steps and grabs the microphone on the top step, before getting in the ring, as her theme fades out. Seth slowly stands, keeping his eyes on her.

"Cole, get out of the ring," Rollins threw his seat out of the ring with his eyes never leaving hers.

"But I'm not­—"

"Cole! Get out of the damn ring!" Seth shouted, cutting him off.

Cole obeys while Seth looks at Morgan up and down, smiling smugly.

"Well, well well..." He walked around her before facing her. "If it isn't my dear sister, Morgan Lopez. The Shield's girl. The Outspoken Diva."

Suddenly he roughly lifts up her chin causing her to narrow her eyes at him as the crowd watches in surprise.

"So, what are you gonna do, huh? Slap me in the face? Tell me the same boring monologue on how it was wrong for me to betray our family?" He laughed. "Sweetheart, how about you put your tail between your legs, and go backstage? This is between men. And this situation includes that lunatic and golden boy. Not you,"

She slaps his hand away as the crowd cheers.

"You look at me like I'm nothing to you...like I don't mean anything to you...I saw that look you gave me. I saw the body language. You didn't want to hit me, did you? You know I got a special place in that dark heart of yours. It killed you to put your hands on me like that. To ruthlessly hit me with those chair shots. Admit it."

Rollins swallows and stands his ground.

"Seth, we did everything together. You had my back and I had yours. I love you. I thought we were ride or die. We even have matching tattoos together! Does that mean anything to you?" she exclaimed. "You claim we were just business partners and you severed everything between us but why did you hesitate to hit me, then?"

Rollins chuckled and grabbed one of her hands as he looked down at her. "You know Morgan; we were ride or die. I loved you. I have always loved you. You were everything to me. I never wanted anything to happen to you. We took a lot of risks together. Tag matches. Everything. Yes, you're right, I was reluctant to hit you but then I realized...you were just a business partner to me. Nothing more. What happened between us...was something I needed to sever. Especially if you don't want to stand by The Authority and me,"

"What does he mean by that?" King asked as that caught the crowd's attention.

Seth sighed as he released her hand and put some hair behind her ear. "I just wish you could have said yes to The Authority. Then none of this would have happened to you..." he turned to look at the stage. "Did you hear that Ambrose? Reigns? She was supposed to join me. But she always wants to play the hero...it's going to get you nowhere, Morgan,"

Morgan glared at him for bringing that up. That was the last thing she wanted and knew Roman and Dean were gonna question her later about it.

Celeste tweets 'I'm getting a lot of ideas here about these two.'

"If you were with me right now, man...think about how powerful we would have been together, Morg." he grinned. "The power couple next to Stephanie and Hunter. The dominant duo of the WWE. You as the Diva's Champion in a heartbeat, with me, a future WWE World Heavyweight Champion. I know you'd like it. Being with me, being successful with me. How can you throw that opportunity away? You'd be nothing without The Authority."

"Do you hear yourself?" she shook her head in disbelief. "I don't know who you are anymore...you're brainwashed. A puppet for The Authority. You gave away all the success we had, for this? It's not worth it!"

"You're right...you're right Morgan...you don't know who I am, anymore."

"Sometimes I think Rollins is doing the right thing, here. You have to adapt and that's what he's doing. Morgan just needs to stop whining about it, and accept it." JBL looked on.

"How far is your head up The Authority's ass?" She asked Rollins. "For you to ever think for a second that I'd join The Authority is absurd! I didn't do all that I did in my career, against The Authority for nothing. And I embrace the fans. I stand by them. I'll never let them down like you have,"

"Oh, but you will when you realize how good everything can be when you join me with The Authority,"

She snorted and shook her head. "You wish...I want you to take a good look at yourself and I want you to realize what you've done. You've made an enemy out of me and I think you know what I'm capable of doing. You screw with Roman, you screw with Dean. And if you screw with Dean, you screw with Morgan Lopez. And if you screw with Morgan Lopez...let's just say Rosa isn't the only person I'll be maiming. If this is what you want to do...if this is the path you've chosen...I want no part of it. And this...this is for stabbing us all in the back,"

She drops the mic and gives him a hard punch in the face, making him drop down on his butt as the crowd erupts in loud cheers.

"Is she nuts!?" JBL shouted.

Seth holds his jaw, and looks up at her in surprise. All of sudden, she starts unloading on him with punches as the crowd continues to cheer. All the frustration she had, she put it in her fists, as she tried to knock some sense into him. However, Rosa rushes down the ring and attacks her from behind, making the crowd boo while Seth starts to recover.

"Oh man, Morgan needs help," Cole said, while Rosa held Morgan for Seth.

"You wanna put your hands on me, huh!?" He shouted as he grabbed Morgan's face. "You're gonna join The Authority one day, mark my words, Morgan. This path you're taking isn't going to benefit you in the long run. I'm going to break you and build you into the perfect enforcer by my side as we take over the world,"

"I'd like to see you try. It's never gonna happen," she spat.

The crowd begins to get louder with cheers once Roman and Dean head down to the ring with angry looks on their faces. As soon as they get in the ring, The Wyatts arrive and start taking on Dean and Roman. Morgan escapes Rosa's hold and manages to throw her out of the ring, turning her attention to Seth. He was now all alone, thanks to Dean and Roman throwing the Wyatts out of the ring.

"They got Rollins cornered!" Cole shouted as Roman threw Seth across the ring.

They try to grab him but he manages to escape once Bray, Luke, and Erick take down Roman and Dean. Rosa manages to get back in the ring and drops Morgan down with a roundhouse kick, while Seth runs out of the arena. The crowd gets loud when Cena runs down the ring and starts taking over Bray.

Afterward, Dean, Morgan, and Roman stand tall with Cena while the Wyatts and Rosa remain out of the ring.

"Cena, Lopez, Ambrose, and Reigns standing tall," Cole looked on.

"It looks like they found themselves their tag team partner for the four on four tag match," JBL added.

"And how fast did Rollins run out of this building when the numbers were turned?"

"Yeah, where is Seth Rollins?" King wondered.

Morgan tweets 'Me? Join The Authority?? HA! That punch felt great, WWERollins #KnuckleSandwich #FistsToFaces'

----

Later that evening just before their match, Morgan was with Ambrose and Reigns backstage as she crossed her arms, awaiting the question on their minds.

"Why didn't you tell us The Authority asked you to join them?" Roman asked, worried about her well being.

Morgan exhaled sharply and closed her eyes for a moment. Opening them, she frowned.

"Look. I didn't want to worry you, guys. I didn't think they'd ask someone else besides me anyway,"

"That's something you should have brought up to us, Morgan," Ambrose added with a frown.

"It wouldn't have mattered, things would have still ended up like it ended up. Look, I had no idea they even asked Seth. But you know I'd never ever hurt you guys. Never," she said as she went into detail on what went down in the office.

Roman and Dean glanced at each other, equally worried for her.

"Is Rollins getting in your head?" Ambrose wondered.

"No," she firmly replied.

"Are you gonna be able to focus?" Roman asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, I will,"

"You know his mind games aren't going to stop until we manage to get our hands on him. We need you to keep a cool head and make sure to tell us if anything is up," Ambrose added.

"Guys...Everything is fine, all right?" she reassured. "It's fine. He's not gonna get in my head. Now, let's go out and do what we do best,"

[timeoverload]

I don't know what the hell my problem was yesterday but I'm feeling a little better today. I was just crying off and on all day yesterday. I was getting upset about things that weren't a big deal. I have just been a wreck lately and I apologize for that. I don't like being moody and bitchy. I hate feeling that way.

I don't want to talk about work too much because I know it gets old. I had a long day as usual. I had 14 cases this morning and 17 this afternoon.

The morning was ok aside from losing the adapter for my spray hose in decontam. I looked for it everywhere. I even dug through my trash. I tore down 7 sterile pans to look for it and it wasn't in there so I had to redo all of those for nothing. It never turned up so I'm frustrated about that because the one I had for back up sucks and it falls off more than the other one. They don't want to buy me a new sprayer for my sink because they are so expensive. It gets used so much that the handle falls off so I'm constantly having to put it back together. My air hose is the same way. I don't know why they can't invest in new shit for me. I have been wanting a new ultrasonic for a while because the one I have isn't great. Both of the ultrasonics we use have caught on fire before but we are still using them because they don't want to pay to replace them. They have been repaired but they still have a lot of problems. I understand they are very expensive but I know they make enough profit to cover it.

The afternoon really sucked and I'm proud of myself for not crying. My legs hurt from rushing around. I really can't handle all of that by myself anymore. It is getting to be too much. My label printer also broke and I spent like 20 minutes trying to recalibrate it but I was unsuccessful. I have really bad luck with printers and I hate them. Hopefully I don't have to call IT in the morning but I will try to figure it out myself first. I was also annoyed because everyone just ignores me when I say I am overwhelmed or they say, "wow, you look busy!" and walk away. I try to help them when I can but that doesn't matter. The evening team lead was nice and told me he would clean up the last case so I could go home on time. I was so grateful for that because I felt like I was going to collapse if I stayed any longer.

I was planning on stopping for food on my way home but decided not to. I really need to go to the store but it has been scaring me lately. I get panicky at the store. There's just too many people there most of the time. I have things I can eat so I will be ok. I ate breakfast and lunch. I regret buying lunch though. I asked for half of a chicken enchilada and I paid $8 for it. I didn't notice how disgusting it looked until after I paid for it. The cheese on top was so burned that it was inedible and I had to pick it off. I ate what I could but it tasted like shit. I'm not a good cook but I know I could do better than that. I am going to ask to look at the food next time before I buy it since it's covered up in the warmer. I don't want to keep buying food there.

Anyway, I have been thinking about how it's difficult for me to be the person I want to be. I don't feel like I can do that in my current environment. I enjoy being close to my family but I need to get out of this room. I have no space to be productive or do a lot of the things I enjoy. I am constantly tripping and falling. I can hardly get into my refrigerator right now. Sometimes I have to sit in the dark so I don't have to see my mess. I have been getting spider bites while I'm sleeping so I don't enjoy that. I really don't like living the way I do and I know that it's my fault. I wish I didn't feel like shit all the time so I could do more. I also need to leave my toxic job. I feel like a plant that has outgrown it's pot. I want to go outside. I want to try to do new things but I have a hard time with that due to my hyperfixations with other stuff. I have always had trouble with that. I used to get made fun of for wanting to do the same things all the time but I can't help it because that's the way my brain works. I never understood why I did that until I found out that I'm autistic. I would like it if someone could expose me to new experiences because that might help me. I need someone around to help me have more fun. I want to laugh more. I don't want to have the same routine all the time because that has made my life so monotonous. I feel like I don't have much of a personality anymore and I'm boring.

I'm just really tired right now. I don't even know if I'm making sense. I was having trouble talking to people towards the end of the day because my brain was malfunctioning. I kept stuttering and it was difficult to find the right words to say so that was embarrassing. I think I need to relax now. I don't have much else to talk about anyway. I wish I had more positive things to say. I hope the next 2 days aren't quite as intense.

Thank you for all for listening to me vent and putting up with me when I am grumpy. I appreciate you. I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow. 💖💖💖

[renoxvated]

everything i touched turned to GOLD.

Roy & Grief; a dead mone/y retrospection.

Wow, it’s DEAD MONEY TIME BAYBEEEEEE. In all seriousness it’s fairly obvious how much this DLC impacts my take on The Courier, I’ve talked a lot about it but since this is the actual retrospection on it, I figured I’d elaborate more. I view Dead Money as Roy’s own hubris getting to him. Sure, plenty had gone wrong in his life and he’d been thrown into things far bigger than him– but nothing could prepare him for the horrors of this hotel. He adventures here coming off the thrills of what feels like a big victory still, winning over Hoover Dam, helping the people he cares about that are closest to him and then followed up by helping Zion and The Big Empty. While he’d experienced great loss and pain he OVERCAME those things, to help the bigger picture for the Mojave. He’s a little more reckless than he should be, and while he never WANTED to be a hero, a living legend, he’s definitely riding off the HIGH of it. After all, he used to be so fucked up on chems and alcohol this was a better high for him, one that he needed if he wasn’t going to do those (as often). So that brings us to the Sierra Madre, where it’s sort of like a (saw-esque) horror shit show. There’s traps, SO MANY TRAPS and it’s a wonder Roy can even walk properly from how many bear traps (and other traps) he set off. Having to pry them off with TREMBLING hands, in so much pain, but he keeps having to walk on damaged limbs, hoping the stimpacks he gets ahold of will do enough so he doesn’t pass out. I like to believe that Roy walks with a slight limp for a long while while his body heals, until he heads out to Boston eventually. He’s absolutely terrified to hear ‘Begin Again’ as well and it will send him into a straight up panic attack if he does. To be honest if he hears the voice of Vera Keyes at all, he WOULD probably still have a panic attack, but that song really does it for him. Then there was the GHOST PEOPLE, and how they wouldn’t die– like he’d shoot them dead but they’d eventually get back up. He’d never encountered anything like them and they were EVERYWHERE. He had to watch out for the TRAPS, for them and…the CLOUDS of toxic mist, that wasn’t even accounting for the COLLAR.

If Roy hears any sort of noise that resembles the sounds from the explosive collar that’s an easy and surefire way to send The Courier into a panic attack too. The whole time in the hotel/casino he thought he was going to die, he was a TRAPPED animal, he was mad for all of thirty minutes maybe after first talking with Father Elijah’s hologram at the fountain and then it was only FEAR. Of course the story is supposed to be about letting go of GREED, which I find interesting because Roy doesn’t want or need anything monetary. He was fine living off of next to nothing and after working for Mr. House he wants for next to nothing and is financially cared for. So for him to have to learn a lesson about greed and not want the gold in the vault that people are dying over? What lesson is there to learn? The interesting part about Roy is the lesson is about his greed for his emotional needs. He is starting to think he might like playing the hero if people LOVE him, the very thing he’s always wanted is VALIDATION and exploring the wasteland helping people has gotten him that. The Courier’s greed is a greed of ADORATION. So while Roy doesn’t want gold he does want the GLORY because that means he can feel loved, something he just doesn’t otherwise. It’s honestly sad because his selfish tendencies come from well meaning places and feelings that he doesn’t know how to properly express. He just at his core wants to be loved, if he can’t be loved then he’ll at least settle for being NEEDED and that drives him to do crazy dangerous things to earn that dopamine hit of validation, that attention from people. Roy will always be that scared little kid that was tormented by a man much bigger than him, he may get violent and angry in his grief so it doesn’t happen again but he is STILL that child that NEVER got closure and will always fear the man who harmed him. While Joshua brings those feelings out in Zion because of the biblical talk, it is Father Elijah who REALLY brings the cruel nature home for Roy. Father Elijah SCARES The Courier, if only because his nature is truly vile, evil, unlike the other antagonists he’d faced who in some way at least had ‘well meaning’ convictions or reasons that were sympathizable even if he didn’t agree with them. I think it’s just the fact that Elijah has so many levels of mind games too that it just really reawakens that primal childhood fear in Roy. I think that’s the true tragedy of Dead Money for me, when it comes to Roy, is that The Divide was supposed to be the place where his journey would eventually end in some prophetic way and maybe if he was any other courier it WOULD have,,, but it doesn’t because he’s been a victim of child abuse that has lingered in ways that he never processed. So instead of The Divide being that place of a great battle, his moment is really…here. What's worse is that while leaving Father Elijah to eventually suffer and die in that vault it’s only momentarily satisfying.

Eventually, I honestly believe that while Roy will say otherwise, much like his father he’ll always wonder if Elijah somehow was able to escape. I also think that it takes a long time for Roy to emotionally heal from what happened there and that’s not considering how he’d physically have to get used to his body now. I imagine his dysmorphia about himself would be worse for a long time. It’s particularly sad to me that even in his abject horror and unbridled grief, what grounds him is his love for other people. His eyes catching a snow globe to give to Mr. House, thinking that he couldn’t possibly die without bringing that back to him. It’s almost comical to him, the whole situation between all the talk of letting go when he’s missing an arm but he has a gold bar in his hands–! Granted it’s because he tried to kill Father Elijah with it. It’s not the gold he couldn’t let go of though. It’s his ANGER, his RAGE but more importantly... it's his GRIEF and it’s only love (take that as you will ofc, I think there’s a lot of complicated feelings there and again maybe I’ll make a post about Roy and the people he loves eventually, how he doesn’t know how to process those emotions either) that saves him from dying in the end. In the end he saves the other three captors, with their help previously. There’s a line in Dog/God’s epilogue that I love, ‘And the mutant prayed the Courier that had saved him... had been saved in return.’ It’s supposed to be about what happens at The Divide later and while his retrospection there saves him from any worse emotional harm, I think it is more important here rather than there. It’s also worth noting that in his canon the others don’t just leave without saying goodbye because Roy would end up dead. He just believes they did because he was so in and out of it when they tried to patch him up in the autodoc there to stabilize him, that he barely remembers what happened, so much as it was just him waking up still NOT OKAY because his arm was cut off among the other physical traumas and he eventually heads back home still half dead. Again it is his love for others that physically saves him too, because of his sacrifice for them, they help him. The Courier is only saved from dying, spared by the Sierra Madre and its unwilling inhabitants because of the very thing that Sinclair couldn’t attain. He could build a MONUMENT to love but it didn’t save him, it didn’t save her either, but it saved The Courier who had saved countless others. The Sierra Madre took away so much from him but it was also the only place with the only people to give back to him in a way that the rest of the Mojave hadn’t.

[unhingedhearties]

This Looks Like It'll Be A Productive Discussion

I know yesterday I said I try to not make boomer jokes, but today was a challenge.

don'tmakefunofthesizedon'tmakefunofthesize

I had to double check that the person who posted this wasn't a man because this is straight up incel moid behavior. I'm surprised she didn't refer to this as Elizabeth's "body count".

Hey look! It's Jennifer

May.

LOLOLOLOLOL YOU NEED TO SHARE IT WITH TPTB

I have a funnier idea, people need to share this screencap of your own Facebook page with you every time you get assblasted.

"Do you know the musical 'Six'?"

No, but I just looked it up and it looks like dogshit. Garbage in, Garbage out I guess.

I'm a little confused. How does a real historical event regarding one piece of shit, fat ass man using patriarchal oppression to kill his wives once he got bored with them/pissed of that they didn't birth him a son relate to a fictional woman being tangentially related to various degrees with a handful of men?

This is what we call a red flag and this person's internet history needs to be checked ASAP.

I may have receipts on this blog of both sides making asses of themselves, but at the moment I've only seen Team Lucas people being gross and weird in regards to the child actors*, so make of that what you will.

*(Never as bad as this post to be fair, it's usually people throwing a temper tantrum on social media posts involving the child actors where they could easily see it).

Sondra's being a lot more generous than I would have been by assuming she's married.

I looked at Kerri's photo (because boomers can't help but post their full names and photos everywhere online) and I'm going to guess that number is 0-1.

And that's not by choice.

Rebekah's just saying what I've been saying this whole time. I'm sure it will fall on deaf ears.

GUYS I'M LITTERALLY ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY ASS OFF

Here grandma, I dug through my 20 year old hard drive to dig out an archaic, unfunny meme to match your humor:

"Whoever came up with this ridiculous idea is a toxic and unloved person, devoid of good feelings, the only thing a person like that deserves is pity."

Here, I translated it since I have a feeling they're the kind of people who see "not English" and skip over it instead of taking the two seconds to hit "translate post".

Wow, this is awkward. I don't form weird, parasocial relationships with celebrities online, but if I did, I'd do everything in my power to not embarrass myself in a way that they might see.

Like... do you really think Chris will see this and laugh or do you think he'll see it and cringe at all the 60 year old women lusting after him.

But remember, Team Nathan fans are "Team Mean".

"They sure loved E before the break up though."

Actually, that's a good point. Funny how they didn't mention this trail of... men Elizabeth knew that had things happen to them when they thought they were getting that wedding.

[consciousgrowth]

I hate life, I hate what I am, I hate what Ive become, I hate who I used to be. I used to be a lot happier. I just know no matter what I do to improve myself. I'll still carry the same soul. And that soul is such a piece of shit. Not on the surface, but the longer you know me, the more you see of who I really am. And that person is an insecure, attention seeking, shitheel. Wow is me and all that bullshit until I die.

I used to not care, everything came so easily to me. I was weird but I made friends everywhere I went. That person is no more, they've been replaced by a chicken shit sorry sack of a person. It was easier to live with myself back then... But it doesn't change the fact that I'm a toxic shit stirring bitch.

[if-music-be-the-food-of-love]

Rewatching Kinnporsche is like:

First time: ew Vegas.

Second time: ooooh he’s pretty. I love him. I want him to run off into the sunset with Pete. He deserves his happy little family and a partner who’s into his kinks.

***

First time: Pete is such a goofy weirdo. I love him tho.

Second time: He’s a badass, omg. Pete sees things. He owns the bodyguard shared brain cell and only lends it out when necessary.

***

First time: vegaspete? wtf? this makes no sense. When?

Second time: ohhh Pete’s been fighting his attraction for awhile. Shiiiiiit. I mean. He almost melted into a puddle when Vegas touched his clothed back. And some of those looks he flashes Vegas in ep 10? Damn.

***

First time: vegaspete. I don’t get it. I don’t get it. But I don’t have to get it. That’s okay. I love them.

Second time: I still don’t get it, but I can see how it works now. I love them so much, and when they’re soft together, I fall to pieces. Pete’s afterglow smile, istg, how are we supposed to survive that? I’m melting.

This is some fucking romance right here.

***

First time: Vegas is evil and manipulative (and yes, much of that is caused by his father and the animosity between the families, but it’s not an excuse).

Second time: He’s much more complicated than that. It’s still not okay, but there’s so much more depth and nuance there than I originally thought. He’s trying to please an unpleasable father in a situation that is designed to make him fail, and somehow, somehow, this is his fault. He can’t win. No one expects him to win. No one wants him to win. No one has ever supported him. No one sees him. No one sees how he’s been formed by this toxicity. No one recognizes that he is also a victim.

Except Pete. And that leads to…

***

First time: Does Vegas actually care about Pete? After hitting on/trying to seduce everyone else, how genuine are his feelings? Can we trust this?

Of course, it’s answered in ep 14, especially when he turns around…his face, wow. Yay for genuine, but—

Second Time: It was obvious much sooner than that. He’s so vulnerable around Pete. He lets his guard down, which is why Pete can see through the bullshit. The soft smiles when no one is looking (that one when he’s reading while Pete eats his noodles, just damn. That smile is for himself alone. There’s no one to impress or convince or manipulate. It’s fucking real. MY HEART).

Cooking for Pete. Listening to him, actually hearing his words and taking them to heart. Allowing Pete to comfort him. It’s so obvious in the journey of his facial expressions. Vegas is IN LOVE, and (the part that makes me lose my mind)—

It’s bc Pete doesn’t want anything from him. He’s literally powerless, and he asks for nothing. Everyone needs/uses Vegas for their owns means. He’s a weapon, a tool for others, someone expendable. Pete wants nothing and yet HE OFFERS COMFORT ANYWAY. Pete’s actions are so selfless that they take Vegas so completely by surprise he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Vegas has found someone he can trust, who loves him, and is into his kinks. With that onslaught, he doesn’t stand a chance.

And that’s why this moment is so huge!

Bc once again, EVERYONE wants something from him. He has nothing left to give. He’s willing to let Pete go bc he loves him, BUT Pete, who has never wanted anything from him, doesn’t give a shit about that. He wants Vegas. That’s all. That’s enough.

And I’m so emotional about it, omfg. Never gonna recover from this. THE ROMANCE. screaming crying throwing up. tears everywhere.

(Side note: just what a master class of acting these episodes are for Bible, geez).

***

First time: Vegas better be the bestest best boyfriend to ever boyfriend or the combined major and minor family (and me) will be coming after him. Pete deserves the world.

Second time: still same, haha. (Only perhaps even more vehemently)

***

Is it too much to ask for domestic, happy vegaspete with no violence or manipulation in season 2?

[darkcircles4lyfe]

Death to All Might, Rebirth to Yagi Toshinori

So about All Might. I’ve been extremely wary of talking about what could happen to him because straight up saying “I don’t think he’s gonna die” is asking the universe to spite me. Plus it also feels like a room full of people turning to stare at me as if I said the Sun isn’t a star. Man has death flags everywhere, I know. 

But, okay, *Bill Nye voice* consider the following:

Mr. Yagi here, if he overheard everything, just received the final nail in the coffin on his career. His time as the symbol of peace is not only over, it was in fact partially responsible for the current state of things, since he once did so much on his own that his absence now makes heroes and civilians alike ill-prepared to cope. I think it was very apt for that one guy to be wearing an All Might shirt--he was acting as a mouthpiece for the latent societal problems embedded in All Might’s legacy. 

We know already that he’s been feeling useless. I love this scene and although I’m not gonna talk about it right this second, remember what Aizawa says about just “being here” being enough:

And we know from conversations with Inko that Toshinori is also reframed his purpose around looking after Izuku. But in the end, Izuku rejected his help, and it was his classmates instead who were able to save him. Now the very progress of humanity is rejecting him too. You may me wondering how on Earth I don’t see the logical conclusion of all this being his death. Hold on. It actually has a lot to do with the fact that we’re all expecting it. Nighteye himself saw it, and despite any contrary convictions anyone might have, the plot doesn’t seem to be veering away from that end. All Might Is Gonna Die, says absolutely everything. 

It’s occurring to me that I have previous experience with this kind of plotline that probably little to no one else in this fandom shares, being that I’ve read a certain book series in which the main character is told in no uncertain terms that he will die (no, I’m not talking about hp). The series in question is T*e Und*rland Chronicl*s (censoring so it doesn’t get put in their side of tumblr) and I’m sorry but I’m about to go on a shameless tangent about it and spoil the ending for you.

So in this series there is a prophecy in every book, each one having something to do with war and conflict, and so far all of them have been right. In the last book [mc] finds out that it’s prophesied that he will be killed. Lots of the things in the prophecies are convoluted and metaphorical, but no, this one literally says “when the [mc’s title] has been killed.” He spends the whole book coming to terms with this, and he gives into it, only to find himself waking up in the hospital instead. “Wow, plot twist. /s” you may be thinking, and yeah sure, the mc in a kids book survived, big shocker. But it doesn't end there. After the war, there are peace talks, but they escalate until the two sides are on the verge of declaring war again. And [mc], bless him, has just been caught in the middle of all of this the entire time. He’s sick as shit of fighting, of watching the suffering and death of people he cares about. He draws his sword against both of them angrily, gives a speech saying he won’t take a side, and then promptly breaks his sword across his knee: “There. [mc’s title in the prophecies] is dead. I killed him.” He’s giving a huge middle finger to everyone there, to the man who wrote the prophecies, to the entire fucked up culture of it all. And so something that was taken literally turns out to be metaphorical. That is, if you still believe in the prophecies at all.

Hopefully you’re catching my drift here. What I’m saying is, even though this other series has nothing to do with bnha, it goes to show sometimes it’s the most absolute certainties that are red herrings, and a “death” can consequently be a symbolic one. In All Might’s case, it could be the death of hero society and a rejection of his own past. In other words, character development for Toshinori himself that reflects on the way the world is changing, too. Also there’s the fact that the mc from that other series I’m trying not to name has an honorary title, and I’m imagining that role he occupied “dying” could correspond to something that amounts to, “All Might is dead. I (Yagi Toshinori) killed him.” 

And here’s another thing: we also have to ask ourselves what good a dead Toshinori is to Izuku, narratively speaking. Yes, Izuku has spent his whole life idolizing even the more toxic parts of All Might, and his idealized vision of his hero does need to “die.” But how about Toshinori as a father figure?  Izuku regretting that his last interaction with Toshinori was to reject his help may drive home the fact that he shouldn’t go off on his own, but at this point it’s kinda redundant. If anything it would negate some of the progress that was just made because it’d make him extra paranoid about losing other people too. To be honest, the whole “Uncle Ben” trope, the mentor/father figure who dies and gives the mc a reason to do better, is so tired. Experiencing the death of a loved one really doesn’t deserve to be romanticized like that. I might as well admit that I’m speaking from experience, and let me tell you, losing someone you love suddenly, when you weren’t around, and with unfinished business--it makes you paranoid as hell that it will happen again. It literally gives me nightmares. Y’all, I cannot stress enough that trauma does not equal character development. Granted, just because I know this doesn’t mean Horikoshi does, but in general he does seem to lead his characters toward healing.

Okay, back to the present. Toshinori is turning away from UA. He likely feels useless and rejected. We can infer that what happens next will involve Stain, and we have a couple of extra clues to go with it: Stain considers All Might a true hero, and has stated that he would let All Might kill him. And since Horikoshi loves his parallels, we also have this fight between Endeavor and this random villain who admires him so much that he wants to die by Endeavor’s hand:

This suggests a confrontation in which Stain challenges All Might to live up to himself as he once was, so that as a hero he can vanquish Stain and symbolically overcome society's perversion of that role. But based on what All Might has learned about the system he upheld, Stain is wrong. All Might is not a “true hero” in the sense that the societal issues Stain witnessed exist not in spite of All Might, but (in part) because of him, because he took too much of the responsibility for himself.

Stain probably had no idea about the personal cost of All Might’s lonely burden until after the fact. Maybe he’s seeing it now. So then perhaps the confrontation would be more about Stain claiming he’s just as fake as the rest. Either way, Toshinori has the opportunity to denounce himself and be rid of “All Might,”  to stop living in his own shadow. Nighteye’s vision has been defied before, and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the combination of society shifting + Toshinori’s own conviction is enough to do it again and work fate in his favor.

He is not All Might. He is Yagi Toshinori: quirkless, worn down, and directionless except for his dedication to Izuku. If he survives his interaction with Stain, he can resolve his imperfect mentorship by confessing about his shortcomings and simply supporting Izuku as a part of his family, not as his teacher (as Aizawa said, just “being there”). And that’s how you really get character development, for both of them. I mean, shit, imagine Toshinori straight up telling Izuku to stop calling him All Might.

[cevans16]

Ask Her To Dance

Summary: You’re part of the Avengers during the Infinity War era, you and the cast have a final party in Greece

You had all recently finished filming Infinity War, traveling to Europe to start the promo tour, ending up in Greece. You played a military veteran who had started working for the Avengers, you had grown close to the entire cast, having a crush on Sebastian. Sebastian had always been a quiet one except when he was with you or Anthony Mackie. 

It was the last night after a ton of interviews, photoshoots, etc. Robert had suggested you all go out to a club to blow off some steam and as as last hoorah. So there you were in a midi skin-tight lavender summer dress and black high heels. Scarlett had done your makeup in a dark smokey eye look balancing the rest with a natural shade while Lizzie did your hair in voluminous curls, you looked sexy to say the least.

“Wow....you look wow, I’m not a lesbian but I would turn for you” Scarlett said once they took a final look at you. 

“What am I not hot before this look?” you teased

“Oh of course you are but now I can’t hold myself” she said smirking at you. 

While they were finishing up you heard someone knock on the hotel door, you went to open it to find the boys standing there, they didn’t say a word but their eyes looked like they were about to pop out. 

“Okay...where’s (Y/N) and what have you done to her?” Robert jokingly asked

“Stop! You guys coming in or what” you said stepping aside to allow them in

“I think they’re almost done, I’m going downstairs to get us a cab” you said.

You didn’t see that Mackie had elbowed Sebastian to go with you to the lobby. Sebastian blushed and shook his head, “Come on.....hey (Y/N) you shouldn’t go alone, Sebs here will accompany you” Mackie announced. 

You looked at him with a confusing look but didn’t ask any questions, at least not in front of the boys. “Okay...come on Sebastian”. 

“Ladies first” he motioned to you to walk inside the elevator first to head down

“Such a gentleman” you said. You leaned on the elevator wall, tapping your heel on the floor

“You look beautiful (Y/N)” Sebastian said in a soft whisper, you felt your cheeks heat up at him complimenting you

“Thank you, you look great as always” you replied, this time you saw him blush, he smiled scrunching in his nose in that adorable way that he always did when he got shy. 

You let the driver know that you would be down in about twenty more minutes. You and Sebastian headed back up to see if everyone else was almost ready. You walked in to the room with Scarlett and Lizzie finishing up the last of their makeup. You grabbed a mascara to touch up on your own eyelashes. 

“You ladies take forever” Chris Evans teased you three

“Okay then wait for us over there” you turned to say to him 

You kept eyeing Evans for a bit, he obviously caught onto your expression.

“Noooo whatever it is don’t” he said a little frightened

“Seriously, you two film a movie where you are a couple and now you act like a couple” Robert teased

Robert’s comment caused Sebastian’s heart to drop a little bit. He knew you and Chris Evans were only great friends but after seeing some of the footage of the Knives Out movie you and Chris played as a toxic couple, Sebastian couldn’t help but wonder if there could be something more between you and Chris.

“Oh stop no, its not like that but I do have an idea...well more of a favor” you said

“What?” Chris asked you

“Can I please put mascara on one of your eyelashes because yours are so long and I want to see what they look like with mascara!” you asked him excitedly

“What the fahck noooo” he said, his little Bostonian accent showing

“Please Chris, just one eye! I promise I’ll wipe it off.....please, I’ll drop on my knees to beg you” you pleaded

“Can you at least wait for all of us to leave, we don’t want to see that” Robert joked

“Shut it Downey” you said laughing, “Please Chris, I’ll give you ten bucks”

Chris narrowed his eyes at you, mulling over the situation for a second. He couldn’t say no to you though, you had become such a great friend to him.

“Fine, just one damn eye that’s it” he said to you

You did a little jump of joy, walking over to him. He was on the end of the couch next to Sebastian. You set your knee between Sebastian and Chris who had scooted a bit over to give you some space. 

“Why am I letting you do this?” Chris said already regretting his choice

“Because you love me” you teased at him

“That I do” he immediately replied

Sebastian would be lying if he said that he wasn’t jealous at hearing Chris say that, or seeing you get along great with Chris, let alone seeing how close your face was to Chris’. He didn’t say anything, only intently looking at you place the mascara on Chris’ eyelashes. Mackie on the other hand could tell the little green monster was getting the best of Sebastian slowly but surely.

“Ohhh my gosh -CHRIS- this isn’t fair” you yelped seeing his eyelashes grow longer and darker

You glanced quickly over to Sebastian, he looked away instantly, a light blush on his cheeks. 

“Wait, you have long lashes too, not like Chris’ but--OKAY this isn’t fair, why do you boys get long lashes” you commented

“Yours are long too so stop whining” Chris said

You were still looking at Sebastian’s eyes, they were a beautiful shade of blue, you loved his eyes, this was the first time you were able to see them so upclose though. 

“Are you going to stare at him or can I wipe this damn makeup off?” Chris asked pulling you out of your trance. This time you felt yourself blush with Sebastian being the one to catch you.

“Sorry- yes Chris you can go now. Sebastian, would you let me put mascara on” you now asked him

“I’m sure he’d let you do anything to him” Mackie commented, earning a deathful glare from Sebastian

“It’s okay if you don’t want to” you immediately added

“Nahh let me see doll” he smiled at you, leaning his face closer to yours, you felt your breath hitch.

“YAY, okay look up just a little bit-oh wait hold on” you said, you put the mascara that you had in your hand behind your dress, you pulled out another one from your thigh, Sebastian was a little confused at the switch.

“Don’t say anything but I used waterproof mascara on Chris” you whispered giggling at your confession. 

“You’re bad” Sebastian replied chuckling at your little shenanigans, Chris was going to flip. And he sure did.

“Okay I’m almost don-” you were about to say

“(Y/N)!!!!!” you heard Chris yell for you, he came out of the bathroom followed by the girls who couldn’t stop laughing

“What?” you asked innocently

“Don’t ‘what’ me with those eyes, you put waterproof on didn’t you!?” he stated

“Noooo look” you said showing him the mascara you had in your hand

“That’s bullshit where is it!?” he yelled

You knew he wasn’t entirely pissed but he wasn’t too happy either

“Chris I don’t know what you’re talking about” you said trying to hide the smirk on your face

“I see it” Chris said at the mascara that was placed behind your back in your dress. Chris swiped it out quickly, almost shoving it in your face.

“I’ll get you back” he peered at you 

“Ohhh how scary” you said cackling at this point. Chris didn’t respond however he slightly shoved you towards Sebastian who caught you with his hands on your sides, both of you blushing immensely.

“Sorry” you both said at the same time. You could feel everyone else’s eyes on you and Sebastian. You got up from the couch walking over to get a makeup wipe remover

“You have nice eyelashes too Sebs.....actually your entire eyes....its not fair” you complimented him

“Thanks” he replied shyly.

He was about to take the wipe from your hands but you shook your head, reaching over to his face to wipe away the makeup

“Why does he get special treatment?” Chris asked, he knew exactly why.

“Shut it” you said

“I’m still going to get you back, this shit does not come off easily” Chris said complaining.

The girls were finally done, all of you doing one last check before heading out to the bar lounge which was a little far away from the hotel. 

After a twenty minute drive you arrived to your destination, you and the girls headed to the restroom while the guys got some drinks and headed over to the private section. The place wasn’t too crowded or crazy but there were enough people to give it a great atmosphere. It also overlooked part of Greece and the ocean, the warm humid weather being complemented with a nice breeze.

“So now that we’re done with the tour, maybe you should ask her out before you start filming here?” Mackie encouraged Sebastian.

“Ehhh I don’t know man, I don’t think she likes me” Sebastian replied shyly

“Oh don’t start with that, she is into you! She just doesn’t make it obvious, Scar told me that she thinks you’re cute sooo can’t be wrong, won’t hurt to ask” Mackie said. 

“Trust me she likes you” Chris added in with a wink at Sebastian. 

“Where did you go?” Hemsworth asked him

“I was getting payback” he smirked

Sebastian was going to ask Chris what he meant until he saw you and the girls walking over with your drinks.

“Man this place is beautiful!” You yelled over the music. 

“You’ve never been to Greece?” Lizzie asked you 

“Nah it’s my first time so be gentle” you joked, Sebastian almost spit out his drink

“Speaking of first times, how’s the movie for you two going?” Scarlett asked you and Chris, you both turned to look at each other

“Not bad actually, definitely more risqué than what I did in Vampire Diaries” you explained.

“Ohhh I may or may not have requested that song” Chris Evans confessed while drinking his beer

“What!! Why?!” you yelped

“Oh come on, you know people go crazy when they see you on the screen with that song playing” he smirked

He was right, there was a certain scene in the show you had done where your character is a newly turned vampire, almost dirty dancing with one of the bad boy vampires at a college party. 

“I swear everywhere I go they play that song” you added

“It’s not necessarily a bad thing” Evans said. 

“What show?” Sebastian asked curiously, he had heard about the show but never watched it. Sebastian’s comment added onto the fuel of everyone around you. 

“Out of all people, YOU for sure have to see it, she looks hot” Scarlett motioned over to you

“Scarrrr” you gritted through your teeth. Luckily you were saved by the song playing over the speakers, Feel So Close by Calvin Harris boomed over the place. 

The intro had you moving to the beat, you loved this song, it brought you great memories from when you were part of the Vampire Diaries show

Almost a minute into the song the DJ yelled, “We hear a certain vampire is in the building!! Give it up for (Y/N)!!!!!”

Sure enough they played that certain party scene on the big screen. You and your former costar Ian Somerhalder killing it as vampires dirty dancing.

You felt yourself blushing, embarrassed at the unwanted attention. You turned to Chris Evans who was laughing his ass off while recording your reaction and everyone else.

“Let’s see your famous vampire moves!” the DJ yelled into the microphone

You yelled over to Lizzie and Scarlett, “Too bad I don’t have my friend to dance with me”

You moved your hips stronger to the rhythm of the song, twirling, making the exact moves you did when you had done that certain episode. You were laughing, carefree, having fun almost forgetting about your embarrassment.

Sebastian was paying attention to both you and the scene playing, he had to watch this show he thought to himself. He always thought you were gorgeous but this scene seeing you with blood, fangs, dancing, turned him on more than anything. However he also wished he was the guy who had been dancing with you for that scene.

Your final move was another sway of your hips, in the show you had ran your finger on your costar’s face to wipe some blood, sucking on it. You did the exact same move to Scarlett who acted like she was fanning herself. The boys and Lizzie laughed at your move, the entire place going crazier.

When the song ended, you shoved Evans, “I hate you!!!” you yelled over to him

“Payback’s a bitch sweetheart” he laughed, you shook your head, “ahhh come on, you know that song brings you back to good old times” he added

“I hate to say it but you’re right” you agreed, the song reminded you of great times with your former castmates

“What about it? You and that guy dated” Sebastian asked curiously

“Ian...no he was dating someone else but he’s still a great friend of mine. We had such a blast filming that part, brings me very fun memories from when I did that show” you explained.

After Evans’ little stunt on you, you guys were all dancing around having a great time. 

The next song to come up was Gimme Gimme by ABBA causing you and the girls to go crazy, the boys only laughed enjoying your excitement.

You, Scarlett and Lizzie made a sandwich between each other, all dancing carefree. You all took turns lip syncing, twirling each other.

You yelling “GIMME GIMME GIMME A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!” with Scarlett and Lizzie doing a supposed back up dancing. 

Sebastian had never seen this side of you, at this moment he really wished you were his girlfriend because he really wanted to kiss you. 

“You should ask her to dance” Robert yelled over to him, motioning to you

Sebastian instantly shook his head, “I can’t...I don’t want to make it awkward plus she’s having fun” he added. 

“Suit yourself” Robert said walking away to get some water

You were all at the lounge for about another two hours, enjoying a night out with each other. 

One of the next songs was I Feel Love by Donna Summer

Sebastian wasn’t going to ask you to dance until he saw you were with Evans’ heading towards the dance floor besides Hemsworth and his wife Elsa dancing next to you and smiling at you both. 

You started to hold Evans’ left hand moving to the beat as it picked up both of you laughing about something. Sebastian looked at Mackie who was smirking at him, “You’ll regret it if you don’t” leaning in closer to Sebastian, “trust me though there’s nothing more going on between those two” he explained referring to you and Chris.

Like clockwork, Sebastian walked over to you and Evans, Lizzie and Scarlett noticed because they called Evans over to dance with them, you were about to follow when you heard Sebastian yell for you. 

“(Y/N), want to dance?” he said smiling shyly

You felt your heart skip a beat, you weren’t sure if it was a good idea because you knew your feelings for Sebastian would probably get worse but you decided to just live in the moment

“Sure!” you yelled, placing your hand onto his, he twirled you first and then you two were moving into a great rhythm to the song

You liked that Sebastian kept you close but still was respectful to your space, its not that you didn’t want to be grinding on him but you also wanted to respect Sebastian. 

At one point he pulled you in close to his face and said, “I really would like to kiss you (Y/N)” 

You looked up at him, you didn’t know what to say at first so you pulled his face down towards yours, playfully licking his nose with your tongue causing him to laugh

“What was that for?” he asked surprised at your action

“I’ve wanted to kiss you too Sebastian” you confessed

With that Sebastian then licked your nose with his tongue while he held your face with both of his hands and then he kissed you passionately. You two kissed each other like there was no tomorrow while still keeping to the beat of Donna Summer’s sultry song.

“Holy shit!!!!” Evans yelled over you two, “fucking finally!!!” he added while the rest of cast cheered you and Sebastian on.

Although the song is almost eight minutes long it felt like two with Sebastian. You two kept dancing, giving each other a few kisses here and there. 

At one point you were all back to your private section again. The final song was 34+35 by Ariana Grande 

“Oh-I love this song!” you yelled

“YOU, innocent (Y/N)?!” Mackie exclaimed

“It’s not that bad” you said defensively 

“Just give me them babieees” you sang loudly but looked at Scarlett, making a come here gesture for her to join you.

You kept singing the song, surprising everyone because you weren’t much into pop let alone a song about explicit sex. The girls joined in including Robert’s wife Susan and Elsa, Hemsworth’s wife.

Sebastian was mesmerized by you in so many ways it drove him crazy.

“Baby, you might need a side belt when I ride it” you acted like you put a seatbelt on, saying your hips like your were riding. 

“I’m living for this” Lizzie chuckled while dancing with you too

“Sebastian...look away” Evans’ said covering Sebastian’s eyes playfully

“Nooo leave him alone” Elsa laughed

After a while, you all started gathering your things to head back to the hotel. Sebastian grabbed your hand, kissing it and smiling at you.

“What” you asked him smiling back

“Nothing, well, would you like to uhm.... go out on a date with me?” he asked you a bit nervous

“I would love to Sebastian” you said

He scrunched his nose in a cute way that he always did when he got nervous or flustered. 

“I can’t wait” he said leaning over to give you a kiss on your forehead

“I told you to ask her to dance” Robert said smiling over at you both.

You were glad that Sebastian had listened.

[cirimanga]

Now I need to speak out...

I’m mentally tired, and this person is the cause of my stress and pain. I have a broken heart.

The moment you warn the person you thought was a friend that she is making the mistake of getting into politics bein simple artist in front of an more then 26K audience  where there are both sides with different political views. She calls me toxic, aggressive and God knows who else, then I tell her that if she don't want listen me, I finished conversation and bloked her in instagram, coz i don't want listen her excuses anymore. And then she bans me everywhere, even in twitter where I unfolowed her alredy.I just left her with her invincible opinion that she doesn't hurt anyone and that her friends and TV of her country are the only truth in this world...

And when she gets the expected hate, she blames me for everything/ IT WAS ME?! oh, really? How about to show evidence before making such accusations? No?

Why she thinking it was me? Because I warned her first coz can think about the consequences, unlike her? Or maybe because she would do that to the person who insulted her?

OMG such a rare egocentric and rot...!

Wow, if she don't have the courage to remove the block and talk face to face about her troubles in twitter,  she a cowardly writing shit and thinking that no one of my friends who know that she blocked me will not show me it? But of course I will remain a coward and a rotten person.

Seems like the kind of words she's describing me now, right? 

Complaining and crying in twitter that someone is jealous of her. Does anyone jealous her even and for what? 

It's funny to watch her once again trying to get attention, that there are bad people around her, and she is poor thing didn't deserve such an attitude...

I have always been loyal to her, supporting her on Patreon, even seeing that none of my friends liked her. (now I wonder why so ?) I listened to her complaints and tears about rundome stuff, gave advice in drawing. It seems only I continued to try to ignore her her ugly behavior. After the fact, I learned that she blocked my close friend, but did not even explain her action. Because she was jealous of her too or something like that? lol

Even though she actually lied to me when she lounched Patreon page. She asked me to subscribe to it on a reciprocal basis, but soon unfollowed me without even bothering to explain her actions. Is that what friends do? She waited for me to come and ask her about it when I was already filled with fear that I had offended her in some way. Yes, I really valued our friendship.

Where is your decency, huh?

What are friends and elementary concern for their feelings for you?

Or financial benefit for you in the first place? 

I forgave her, was still supported her on Patreon page coz I thouth we are “friends” and sent all the paid content that she no longer received and now she pays me by blocking me and writing shit about me, reposting disgusting statements about my country/president from little histerical girls who at any moment will be called in treason of their country.

 I'm not surprised that she believes that all Russians hate their own country/ wishing death to president and are ashamed of being Russian. Because we are not! And she might regret judging the whole country by looking at her marginal "friends" on Twitter. 

Now some of my friends in Ukraine under the fire... russian, ukrainian, other nations. They and me is not responcible for this. This is the pain of both Russians and Ukrainians nations.my heart bleeds for all of them...

 But you didn't even understand how painful your haitful posts/ reposts about Russia for me personaly and other russian fans of the Witcher. They will remeber what you did and me too.

  You are one of those who are guilty of inciting hatred towards Russians, that in Poland and other countries it has now become dangerous to speak on Russian. It is subject to my friends that this has already happened. They are afraid. Very.

 Although YOU was trying to justify yourselve and started telling me stupid shit like "no one hates Russians! Blah Blah Blah".  What fantasy world do you live in or maybe take me as stupid person? 

When will you start thinking before you do something? 

I just wanted you to understand feelings of others (because you don't seem to have any compassion) and save you from future problems that you will undoubtedly receive. Well, if there are more people who don't like your tweets or stories, I will not be surprised that you distort my words and again blame ME in your troubles and hatred.  because you're innocent, right?

I think she already made up a nice story for her friends to make me look like a bad person, but maybe they are still reading this blog and will show it to her. So, I will never be able to forgive her behavior and words.

In difficult times, the true face of a person is always seen ... Let this be a reminder to myself what a disgusting people exist here... in this world ...

[threeletterslife]

(Our Very Own) Camaraderie

→ [3/7] of the Glossary Series

→ summary: Adults have led you to believe that most things don't last in high school. But they'd been wrong. Amidst the teenage angst, the drama, the toxicity is a new friend. A friend you come to grow very fond of over the years.

→ pairing/rating: jungkook x reader | PG-13

→ genre: 85% fluff, 15% angst | high school!au & f2l!au

→ warnings: profanity, slut-shaming, mentions of f sc*tt f*tzgerald

→ wordcount: 19.9k

→ a/n: look out! some wholesome romance on the way!! jk and oc went from strangers to slight enemies to tolerating each other to friends to lOvers. if that ain’t a rollercoaster journey idk what is. this was also for @thebtswritersclub​​’s july prompt: __ to lovers!! (and i totally took liberty of this lmao)

His name is Son Jungmin.

The ink bleeds through the paper, a consequence of how hard you've scratched your pen across the straight lines of your journal. You're mad. Fucking furious.

From eighth fucking grade he's tormented me. And I let him do it all the way to junior year. Why did it take me so long to break up with him?

You attempt to run your fingers through your hair, inwardly cursing when the tangles make it hard for you to brush all the way through. And when you try to pick up your pen to write again, the pen breaks, a hideous, unwanted inkspot blossoming on the page. It bleeds through three empty pages. Great. Nothing in your life—not even the tiniest things—seems to be going right.

Quickly, you pull out a new pen and begin to write again.

I should've known to stay away from varsity soccer players. Even worse, he's a fucking cross country runner. I should've known. I was an idiot.

"Hey, babe, you coming to my soccer game on Sunday? The boys and I are planning to dip right after for some burgers."

"Aww, shit, I can't, Jungmin. I have a cheer comp on the same day. Guess we're tied by the ankles by our own sports!" You remember the genuine regret you'd felt that your schedules had clashed. Jungmin loves it when you cheer him on during his soccer games and track meets. You should've known. He'd never bothered to come to your cheer competitions.

"Babe, cheer's not even a sport," Jungmin snorts. "Come on, you don't need to go."

"It's for nationals, Jungmin."

"So?"

"So I can't come to your soccer game."

"That's retarded."

You should've fucking known.

He's popular, too. He knew all my friends and introduced me to his own. They weren't very nice.

"Heard you're making Jungmin keep it in his pants," Hakyung giggles. "Why wait so long? You know he's gonna leave if you... you know, don't give him what he wants."

"It's honestly not that hard," Bokhee chimes in. "You'll get over the awkwardness pretty quickly. At least, that's how it was for me and Hyunjoo."

"I dunno..." you say. "It's just that we're still sort of young... And I don't wanna do anything I'm gonna regret..."

"It wasn't even straight-up porn." Hyunjoo rolls his eyes, swinging an arm around Bokhee. "He just asked you to change in front of him."

I always felt so uncomfortable. But I thought I was just being sensitive. Now, I know that I should've made my boundaries more obvious.

But when I had to be in a wheelchair, it finally became crystal fucking clear what Jungmin's priorities were.

"Cheer's not even a dangerous sport. Don't know how the fuck you got injured."

"I'm a flyer, Jungmin. I'd say that can get pretty risky..."

"Whatever. I don't wanna be the asshole here, but you're not gonna be out of that wheelchair in time for homecoming, are you?"

"Of course I'm not..."

"God, I hate this. I'm gonna sound like a fucking asshole. I'm so sorry, Y/N. It's just that... Wow, I don't want to be the bad guy, but it's... it's gonna be a little weird to, you know, dance with you at homecoming... with your... situation and all, you know?"

"Oh."

"You understand, right? I don't wanna make you feel uncomfortable by wheeling you around everywhere."

"Yeah. Yeah, no, I totally get it."

"I knew you'd understand, babe. You're the best."

Then he went to homecoming with another girl. I couldn't believe it at first, either. But maybe I should've opened my fucking eyes earlier.

It was a relief to break up with him. I spent three weeks rehearsing what I was going to say, but when I finally got it out, my words were jumbled and frankly, embarrassing. But not as embarrassed as Jungmin was that I dumped his ass.

My victory was short-lived, however. Because the day after I became free from that horrible, shitty asshole, I learned about the bet.

The stupid fucking bet. Jungmin had posted it on his spam account on Instagram—before he had deliberately blocked you. You're sure he did it on purpose. He wanted you to feel humiliated before you left him for good.

A cropped photo of you and him holding hands. The infuriating caption: "Fellas I have officially lost the bet. Couldn't fuck Y/N before any of y'all. Take your 50 bucks and get lost bitches."

You had shaken in anger when you'd first seen that post. How dare he?? And when you'd inquired about the bet to some mutual friends, you learned that Jungmin had asked you out in eighth grade, hoping you'd let him "hit it," so he could win some money. You've never felt more used in your whole life.

But the misfortune doesn't stop there.

"Oh... Soojin's sitting there, sorry."

"Um, not today. I'm busy with other... stuff."

"Sorry. I already have a partner."

Dating Jungmin had had its own perks. Everybody knew who I was. Everybody wanted to sit with me, talk to me, hang out with me, partner with me. But ever since I broke up with Jungmin, everyone's been distant. Did I do something wrong?

Distant might not even be the right word. People are avoiding you. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Jungmin's the culprit. So you begin to avoid them too. It's hard to transition from being a well-liked person to a person nobody gives two shits about. Classes become dull and much harder without the help of your peers, and partner projects are humiliating.

Especially now.

There you are, sitting in your IB Lit class, sharing a fucking table (and worse, a project) with Jeon Jungkook. He's a fairly well-known varsity swimmer—a smart one too, to be taking several IB classes on top of his rigorous swim schedule. He sounds like every girl's dream guy until you factor in the fact that he's one of Jungmin's stupid minions. You've seen them parading around together after school, during lunch, wherever the fuck they can hang out.

But the first six words he says to you catch you off guard. "Oh, hey!" he says, grinning widely. His teeth vaguely resemble that of a bunny's. "I know your boyfriend!"

You turn to him, eyes narrowed and frown lines stretching across your forehead. "I broke up with him." Two weeks ago, you want to add but you save yourself the trouble.

But things start to click into place. Right. Jungkook had gone to swim championships somewhere out of the country, so he must've missed a lot of the drama. You have no idea if that's for the better or for the worse.

Jungkook's eyes widen. "Ohhh, shit," he whispers. He's about to say something more but you turn your head away, suddenly busying yourself with your laptop—though the screen is blank—and glowering at the boy from the corner of your eyes. He seems to get that you want him to leave you alone. Soon, he's chatting loudly with Jungmin's other rowdy friends, high-fiving them and roaring with laughter. You swear to god, they're everywhere, Jungmin's minions. You might as well fail this stupid IB Lit project.

It's only been a little over two weeks but your life's taken such a drastic turn. Everyone tells you that any drama that happens in high school doesn't matter when you grow up, but it feels like your world's crashing down on you right now.

"You're awfully quiet today," your mother tells you over dinner. Your father fails to look up from his phone, ignoring most of the dinner conversations, as usual.

Your older sister scoffs. "She's been quiet for a couple of weeks, Mom. God, do you notice anything around here?"

"Well, I'm sorry that I'm busy running the whole household to take care of two moody brats."

"I run the errands in this household," your sister argues. "While also balancing my school work. You go to your yoga classes and go golfing with your friends."

"That's no way to talk to your mother. Do something," your mother urges your father.

He looks up from his phone and sighs. "Be nice to your mother. Both of you." He busies himself with his device once again.

"Y/N didn't even do anything," your sister grumbles. She grabs her plate and stands. "Whatever. I'm done eating." Without so much of another glance, she leaves the table.

Your mother rolls her eyes and looks across the table to you. You just shrug your shoulders. "Don't worry, mom. I'm fine."

"Your sister isn't," she replies before staring at her dish and refusing to talk.

You manage to escape the awkward dinner and flee back to the safe confines of your room, only to find your sister lounging on your bed. "Hey," she says.

"Hi," you say, managing to smile as you sit next to her. "Rough day?"

"Not really," she grins. "I just like to stir shit up a little sometimes. Besides, you looked like you needed someone to talk to. And Mom and Dad definitely aren't the ones to offer you support in that sort of area."

"Thanks," you say. "I've been having a pretty shitty couple of weeks."

"It's a boy, huh?"

You turn to her, eyes wide. "Yeah. Yeah. I broke up with Jungmin."

"Thank god," she groans, rolling her eyes. "I always hated that little motherfucker. Ever since he stood you up in eighth grade to meet his friends for that stupid fucking limited edition shoe sale."

"Yeah, well. I thought breaking up with him would make me happier," you say. "It didn't."

"Are his friends bothering you?" your sister asks, a murderous look settling on her face. "I have a full can of pepper spray. Also five different kinds of tasers."

You smile. Your sister never fails to make you feel better. "He's got to do something bad before I attack him blindly!"

"He treated my little sister like shit. That's a crime in it itself," she retorts. "And listen, just focus on your studies for now. Focus on cheer. You'll show them up when you get into a good college and they don't."

"I will," you say. "I'm going to."

"Forget about that peanut-brain and his herd of brainless pistachio-nut followers," she says. "They don't deserve your time."

"They don't," you agree.

"And learn to be satisfied with spending your time alone," she says. "This is grown-up advice so you better be writing this shit down."

"Mentally noted," you giggle. "Thanks."

But it's hard to forget about Jungmin and his pistachio-nut followers (your sister always comes up with the funniest insults) when you're paired with one of them for a goddamn project.

You're sitting in your IB Lit class, setting up your materials and getting ready to get some shit done today—since the previous day you'd been unproductive. But you vow that you're not going to let anyone bring you down.

Until fucking Jeon Jungkook walks in. He slides into the seat next to yours, and when you glance at his face, you notice that he—for some god-forsaken reason—looks apologetic.

"What?" you spit out.

"I... I'm sorry about yesterday," he says. Your eyebrows raise. "I didn't know the breakup was that bad. Guess I've been living under a rock."

He has. But at least he's apologized for it. That's a step better than Jungmin, at least. "Everyone's still talking about it," you say, "so I would actually appreciate it if you don't mention it again."

Jungkook, however, has no intentions of letting the matter go. "But they're saying he dumped you."

"WHAT?"

You forget to control the volume of your voice; consequently, the whole class (including your teacher) turns their heads to stare at you. Your cheeks heat up in humiliation.

"I hope your dramatic reaction has something to do with your project, Y/N," your teacher says.

You want to wither away and disappear. It takes everything within you to not burst out crying right then and there. So not only had Jungmin made your relationship a bet, had constantly treated you as his inferior but also couldn't handle the fucking truth that you dumped him?

Jungkook looks guiltier than ever. "Uh," he whispers. "You told me yesterday that you broke up with him so I was just a little confused." He continues on, not realizing that you'd covered your face with your hands. "He told me that he dumped you because you were obsessing over him and he didn't really feel comfortable about that."

It's the last straw.

You stand up, chair nearly knocking down from the harsh force of your movement. And without another word, you rush out of the classroom, staring down at your feet pounding against the white floor. Angry tears threaten to fall down your face but you manage to hold it all in until you hide in the nearest girls' bathroom.

It just gets worse and worse. You sob, back up against your locked bathroom stall, your hands up in your hair in frustration, anger, regret. You want the tears to stop but they pour down relentlessly. If this keeps up, you might just miss your next class. You so desperately want to pull yourself together. Do what your sister said and not give two fucks, but it's difficult. It's difficult to ignore what people are saying about you behind your back.

You're the villain. You've been painted as the crazy, obsessive girlfriend that Jungmin needed to dump for the sake of his own sanity. You're the crazy bitch who's been outcasted for having the guts to dump someone who treated you like shit.

And cheer. Cheer was supposed to be your escape. You were supposed to have fun, retain your physique, make friends, become cheer captain. But the past several days at cheer practice have also been a living hell. Back when you were with Jungmin, you becoming the cheer captain was common sense—no one dared to challenge that fact. Especially since cheer captain is a popularity game. But now that everyone fucking hates your guts, there's no way you'll ever make captain. And your cheer 'friends' have all ditched you, glaring at you when practicing your routines and creating a whole new group chat without you to make after-school hangout plans. It fucking hurts.

Everyone who you thought was your friend, wasn't. And even the people you don't know are afraid to approach you because of Jungmin's rumors.

You don't know what you're going to do.

You sniffle your nose, wiping your eyes clean. You'd cried so hard that your whole face is burning from the extra salt that it definitely did not need. Your neck glistens in tear water and you're quick to dry it off. When you check yourself in the mirror, your eyes are bright red, face contorted in a worrisome frown. You do look like you're kind of psycho.

You scoff. Fuck it all to hell.

And when you realize in your rush to empty out the tears you'd been holding in for days, you'd forgotten your backpack, a string of unkind curses leaves your mouth. Now you're definitely going to be late for your next class.

With wobbling steps, you walk out of the bathroom, careful to keep your head low in case anyone decides to poke fun at your pitiful state. But there, right next to the girls' bathroom door is your backpack.

You frown.

Crouching down, you open your bag to see all of your supplies packed up neatly inside. Someone had even taken the care to put your laptop back into its laptop sleeve. You have no idea who would've even bothered to do this.

The only person you can think of is Jungkook. Maybe because he's really the only person you've talked to at school in the past couple of weeks.

You swing your backpack over your shoulder, fingers grasping the straps. Hm. What a touching gesture. For some fucking reason, this makes you want to cry again. Maybe someone's on your side. Maybe your life hasn't gone to shit. Maybe there's still hope.

You hate how much you fucking flip-flop around in your head. How can you be so pathetic? You grit your teeth. Whatever. Just let it go. Ignore everything. You take a deep breath, slowly letting it out through your nose.

Time to get to your next class.

The feeling of being pathetic grows.

You lie on your bed, face digging into your pillow. Earlier, your sister had given you hell for choosing to skip dinner, but you didn't exactly feel like eating on such a queasy stomach. Besides, your mind has been occupied since IB Lit class.

Stupid fucking Jeon Jungkook.

You can't stop thinking about him, replaying the words he'd spoken to you. He'd looked guilty, he'd apologized. He feels sorry.

God, it's idiotic of you to latch onto him just because he's the only person who'll talk to you. How pathetic. But he's also the only person who gives you hope. Your mind replays his bunny smile over and over. Until his whole fucking face is ingrained in your head.

You need to get your head out of your fantasies. A distraction. Something to keep you grounded.

Just in time, your phone dings right next to you. It's a text. From an unknown number. Your heart sinks. Maybe it's Jungmin's friends trying to send anonymous hate again; they've done it before. They might do it again.

But when you unlock your phone and take a longer look at the message, your heart begins to soar.

[Maybe: Jungkook]: Hey Y/N! This is Jungkook from Lit. I was wondering what we're gonna do about the project?

Ohhhhh, fuck. He must've gotten your number from his bazillion friends.

And now you feel like a shitty fucking partner. It's been two days and neither of you have gotten anything done. All because you were being an emotional wreck.

Your fingers hover over your phone, unsure of what to type. Should you apologize for ditching him during class like that? Or will bringing it up make him annoyed? Or... will not bringing it up make you sound like a bitch?

[You]: oh yeah... kim said that we have to work on it at home to finish from now on

You pause momentarily, your thumb hovering over the 'send' button.

[You]: do you want to meet outside of class?

[Jungkook]: Yeah that's what I was thinking lmao

[Jungkook]: Wanna do this weekend? Saturday? I can pick you up and we can go to Target to get supplies

Hm. While the offer isn't bad, for a project, you've always found it easier to do your research first and then figure out what you need.

[You]: oh wait can we meet for a day to just do research tho?

[Jungkook]: Actually yeah that's a better idea lmao

[Jungkook]: I didn't even read the book oof

You manage to break a smile.

[You]: oh shit same

[Jungkook]: Sparknotes?

[You]: shmoop actually

[Jungkook]: Yk what we'll figure it out. I can pick you up Saturday and we can go to Starbucks to research

You know exactly which Starbucks he's talking about. It's the one practically infested with all of Jungmin's friends. You don't know if you'll be able to show your face there—especially during the weekend where you know you'll see your classmates.

[You]: sorry can we go to min's instead? the boba place downtown

[Jungkook]: Oh that's even better lmao. It's closer to my house

[Jungkook]: What time works for you

[You]: the earlier the better lol

The earlier you'll finish and get this over with.

[Jungkook]: I'll pick you up at 10?

[You]: sounds good

He proceeds to send you a GIF of some random soccer player giving the camera an enthusiastic thumbs up. You chuckle at the silliness of it before texting him your address and flopping back down on your bed. A relieving sigh leaves your lips as you turn your body to stare at your empty ceiling.

This had been the very first time someone's texted you since the incident and had intended a neutral conversation. It's nice to see that someone wants to message you and not feel the need to be mean. You can't even count the numbers you've had to block with both hands. For days and days, you'd get anonymous threats and passive-aggressive insults. No doubt from Jungmin's friends. You pause. But Jungkook is technically Jungmin's friend too.

Goddammit. Can you have one single victory? Apparently not. So you stay lying on your bed, pissed at the world and hoping this stupid, cringy teenage angst won't last too long.

For some reason, you'd thought the incident would blow over in a couple of weeks. Adults have led you to believe that most things don't last in high school. But they'd been wrong. Your peers are still giving you evil side-eyes whenever you come up in their peripheral vision.

You've lost about a thousand Instagram followers. And counting.

It had been so bad that you had to quit the cheer team, not able to stand the constant gossiping and whispering that had taken place with you just three feet away from them. Some of them had refused to hold you up properly during flying practice, which is also concerningly dangerous. That last time you'd gotten injured in cheer practice had been an accident; if it happened again this time, you would definitely think it was premeditated. And sure, maybe you aren't physically injured now, but it hurts too much internally. No one seems to care either. Because no one begs you not to leave.

So today, as fucking usual, you're forced to eat lunch by yourself. There are people not-so-secretly staring at you, wondering why the once so popular cheerleader girl had found herself eating lunch alone and completely friendless.

God, you'd been so fucking popular. You had a boyfriend. You were a goddamn cheerleader for fuck's sake. And now who the hell are you?

You pick at your lunch, appetite dwindling down under the harsh gaze of your peers. You begin to sweat, keeping your vision trained at your feet.

Fucking hell. At this point, you're actually contemplating reading The Great Gatsby. But not even this kind of incident could force you to read that kind of literature. Instead, you fish out your phone to watch Netflix, hoping the burning eyes will cease their incessant staring—either that or you'll just stop caring.

But it's hard to stop caring when you've cared so much in the past. Out of the corner of your eye, you see your ex... and lo and behold, fucking Jeon Jungkook. They're laughing with their stupid, rowdy group of friends, walking past the corridor you've settled in. Immediately, you duck your head down and pretend you're immersed in the blank screen of your phone. But from the reflection of your black screen, you can see Jungkook smile at you as he walks by.

You scoff quietly. What kind of fucking game is he playing? How can he be so kind to you and still hang out with trash bags like Jungmin? Could it be another one of those stupid bets? Your head reels at the horrible thought. Fuck. And you still have to meet Jungkook on Saturday.

Should you cancel? Make up an excuse? Pretend you're sick? Lie that you moved out of the country? Fake your own death? Run away with your sister to Neverland and avoid all impending adult responsibilities? Fuck, that sounds nice. But it's also not possible.

You'll have to wait for your brain to come up with a brilliant excuse to get out of seeing Jungkook again.

But Saturday rolls around and you still haven't come up with your million-dollar excuse. You've thought of the basics: 'I'm sick,' 'sorry I forgot I had other plans,' 'my parents said no,' 'I'm grounded.'

Yet when you begin to text those excuses to Jungkook, you can't seem to press the fucking send button. It feels wrong to lie. Besides, if you keep avoiding him like this, how on earth are you two going to finish this project? It's practically worth a whole test grade. You can't possibly fuck up your life more and end with any unsatisfactory marks.

At 9:59 a.m. your goddamn doorbell rings.

You can't believe this motherfucker's early. Maybe he wants to get over this as much as you do. Before either of your parents—or god forbid your sister—can get to the door, you beeline down, opening it up to see the boy.

He's dressed casually in some dark jeans and a black hoodie, messy hair peeking out through the hood tugged over his head. He's smiling, hand waving at you like you're some old friend of his. You just grumble your salutations before getting in his surprisingly clean (and expensive) car.

"You have a nice house," he tells you during the ride to Min's.

"Thanks."

That's the end of that conversation.

Jungkook's nice enough to pay for your basic house special milk tea boba (you're not gonna complain over complimentary drinks), and the two of you get to work immediately.

"Okay," Jungkook sighs, setting up his laptop and looking at you, eyes large and curious. "I reread the Sparknotes page yesterday. I think I kinda get what's going on in the book."

You nod. "That's good," you say. Keep it simple. Keep it short. Straight to the point. "What should our project topic be?"

Jungkook grins as if he's got the best idea in the world. "Duh, the easy route would be the American Dream."

You were afraid he was going to say that. It's such a typical fucking answer, anyway. Over-analyzed, overused and overdone. Of course he'd say the American Dream. Although the dream is fucking bullshit and only benefits men (who are predominantly also white). But do you have a better idea? And you also don't want to sit here and argue for a more creative topic. The point is to get this over with. "Yeah. Sure."

Surprisingly, Jungkook is a hard worker. But maybe it's not so surprising after all. You've heard he's an absolute god in AP Chemistry and passes his math classes with flying colors. Point made, he's definitely not stupid—especially considering that he's a Welton student.

Hours pass fairly quickly. The two of you are immersed in meticulous research, pulling out important-looking quotes from godsend Quizlets. It's actually a chill workday. Almost like you're on a study date with a friend. Except that boy next to you is not your friend.

Still, you can tell that Jungkook's respectful. He doesn't make weird, dirty jokes like Jungmin's friends usually do around girls. He treats you like he treats other guys. He treats you like you're human. It's a foreign feeling. You're so used to guys making indecent 'jokes' that you didn't actually think a high school boy could be this calm in the presence of a girl.

But your boy radar is absolutely shit. So you shouldn't even trust yourself at this point.

Just in time (before you get too lost in your thoughts), Jungkook speaks. "Hey."

You look up at him. "Yeah?"

"Can I..." He hesitates. "Can I ask what happened?"

Goddamn. Everything had gone so well up until now. You tense up, eyebrows furrowing and head already aching. It's obvious exactly what he's asking about.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Jungkook says when he senses your discomfort, which he should've predicted before he asked such an invasive question.

The only thing you can muster up is a: "I broke up with him."

"...That's definitely not what's being passed around."

You sigh, slumping back in your chair. "He's a sexist piece of shit." The words tumble out of your mouth before you could've stopped them. Maybe you'd put two and two together in your head before, but it actually feels good to let it out. Yes, Jungmin is a piece of shit, and the way he treats women makes it very, very apparent.

There's a bit of silence on Jungkook's end. Then: "Yeah... I heard some allegations against him."

You do a double-take, eyes widening as you stare at the boy. "Then why the fuck are you still friends with him?"

"Listen, listen," Jungkook says, hands raising up as he tries to defend himself. "I don't really like him either... I mean, I don't wanna get involved with someone who could potentially be an actual uh, actual assaulter... but—"

"But what."

"I dunno!" Jungkook exclaims. "It's bro code. You wouldn't understand."

You scoff. "I wouldn't understand? Well then fucking make me understand because bro code is kinda ruining my life right now."

Jungkook gives you a look. "Don't you think that's a little dramatic?"

You stare at him for a long time after that. So long that the boy gets fidgety. Yeah. You do have a shitty guy radar. You thought Jeon Jungkook was different. Turns out he's the exact fucking same.

"Nobody talks to me. Everyone hates me. Have you seen the things they write about me on Instagram? I've been called a whore for deliberately choosing to end a relationship that was hurting me. I've been called a slutty virgin and apparently, I crave attention and boys' validation and I'm just 'playing hard to get for a good fuck.' And god, have you seen the way they look at me? I had to quit cheer because everyone was giving me the silent treatment. They wouldn't even grab onto my feet properly and I really thought they'd let me fall. Again. And this time on purpose. When I got out of my wheelchair and started using crutches, no one helped me around. And I have no friends anymore. Do you think I'm being dramatic now?"

That was all just the tip of the iceberg too, but it seems just enough to make Jungkook speechless. You take the liberty to quickly pack up your belongings. He watches you, mouth slightly agape and looking at you with bulging eyes. He looks like an uglyass goldfish at the moment. You hate that you ever thought he looked like a cute bunny. Your hand reaches out to pick up your unfinished drink but you think better of it. You're gonna leave it. Swinging your backpack over your shoulder, you walk out of the place, not bothering to look behind you. And Jungkook doesn't even bother to yell after you to stop.

The minute you're out, you pull out your phone and call your sister.

"Hey... Can you pick me up?"

"Girl, I'm in the middle of class."

"Fuck."

"Where are you?"

"Min's. The boba place downtown..." You can feel your sister contemplating over the phone. "I'm so sorry but I swear, if you do this for me, I'll do your laundry for a week. Just please. Pick me up right now."

"I was gonna pick you up regardless of your tantalizing offer, but now that you've already put it on the table, I'm not gonna say no."

You want to cry tears of joy.

"I'll be there in a few."

"Thank you. Oh my god, thank you."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm the best fucking sister."

"You are."

When the call ends, someone behind you clears their throat. You whirl around to see the person you least want to see at the moment. He's looking frustrated, hair messier than it was before and his hood falling off his head.

He's gripping your boba drink, hand jutting out for you to take it from him. "Oh, c'mon, Y/N! I swear I didn't know any of that. I didn't know it was that serious."

You step backwards. "Yeah, well, that seems like a common theme amongst you boys. You never know anything but you pretend like you know the whole fucking world."

Jungkook takes a step forward. "Come on. We have a project. We can't fight like this, Y/N. Please... I have a borderline grade in this class right now." He closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I need... I need a fucking A, okay?"

"So what?" you scoff. "You're gonna get a fucking swim scholarship anyway."

"So what I'm doing right now is apologizing. I'm sorry. I really, really didn't know it was that bad. I mean, I saw you alone at lunch and stuff, but I thought you just wanted space. I didn't know... I didn't know you lost your friends."

You shake your head. You've spent too long being a pushover. Letting people run you over endlessly.  You've been goddamn patient—at home and at school. You just can't let it slide anymore.

"I'll make the presentation slides and write the script," you say, regaining your cool and staring straight at the wide-eyed boy. "You make the poster. We don't have to meet again. We've done enough research today."

Jungkook sputters, "B-But that won't make a cohesive project!"

"Figure it out, then." You glare at him. "I. Don't. Care."

Now, he looks desperate. "C'mon, you have to give me another chance."

The memory flashes before your eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Jungmin. I'm so sorry." You're sobbing, ugly tears running down your cheeks and dripping to the ground. "I just can't do it anymore. I can't be with you."

"What the fuck, Y/N? You can't do this to me."

"I'm sorry... I just—I'm breaking up with you. Please, understand."

"No. No. Y/N, you can't. That's—We've been together for what? Three years?"

"Four."

"Four years, then. Fuck, you can't do this to me, baby, please. Give me another chance."

You'd said no then, and you're going to say no now.

Jungkook takes your answer as well as Jungmin had. "No, Y/N, seriously. I know—I fucking know I haven't been sensitive to your feelings or whatever. But hey, I do wanna help, okay? You know how fucking long I waited outside the girls' bathroom waiting for you to come out? And you know how much anxiety I got because I was going to be late for my next class but I also didn't want to leave your stuff outside without someone guarding it???"

Oh. So that had been Jungkook. And sure, he'd helped in the littlest ways, but it all cancels out. How can he still be friends with Jungmin? Is this some sort of dumb trick?

"Jungmin's not putting you up with this, is he?"

"What?" Jungkook looks exasperated. "What the hell do you mean?"

"This isn't a bet?"

"A bet??" Now, he looks confused.

You sigh. "He dated me as a bet. He and his other friends just wanted to see who could get into their girlfriends' pants faster. Jungmin lost."

"Oh, god."

"I know," you say. "You don't know what I had to deal with."

"No, no I swear," Jungkook insists. "I swear this isn't a bet, Y/N. This is all me. On god. I'm not even that close to Jungmin. We're just friends, okay? I didn't know he did that kind of shit."

"Yeah, well, he thinks cheer and dance aren't sports. Coincidentally, I've done both at one point in my life. And when I got my injury, he canceled hoco on me because he was too embarrassed to go with a girl in a wheelchair. You know that he asked another girl out too? We were still dating at the time."

Jungkook's mouth hangs open. "...What..."

You groan, hiding your face in your hands. "Whatever. Sorry. I'm just rambling now. Whatever. God, when the fuck is my sister coming?" you mumble. Unfortunately, Jungkook hears.

"I could've taken you home..."

"Yeah, well. Too late."

Silence.

"But I really am sorry..." Pause. "And I want to put our best in this project."

Of fucking course. Is he really sorry for you or is he sorry that the project's gone up in flames? You want to bite back at him, sass him, give him a mean reply you never had the joy of saying to Jungmin but your sister pulls up right by the sidewalk. Thank fuck.

Without looking back, you immediately get into the car, slamming the door shut behind you. Your sister raises her eyebrows.

"Your friend over there is cute," she says. But she takes one look at your face and sighs. "Another asshole, huh?"

"Something like that."

"Yeah, I'll get you out of here." She steps on the gas and the two of you swerve out of the parking lot and onto the road. "Don't waste your time on guys like that," she tells you as she drives. "It doesn't get much better in college, either. Just stay single like me and you'll be just fine."

On Monday, you don't want to go to school. But your parents would have an absolute breakdown if they learned that you ditched. And even more than that, you need to pay close attention in your classes—it's a good distraction from everything else that has been happening.

The strange, rude looks are gone. But now, nobody even bothers to look your way, making you feel absolutely invisible. Which, you don't exactly mind as much as being called a 'slutty virgin,' whatever the fuck that means. It seems like an unintentional oxymoron, which is concerning given the fact that students at Welton are supposed to be smart. Whatever.

I'll show them, you'd written in your diary. I'm putting everything into school, now. I'll get into a good fucking college and become a millionaire. They're gonna feel like fucking idiots.

But you still can't get used to sitting alone at lunch. There's just nothing to do. The school wifi is spotty on personal devices, and you don't exactly want to waste your data and watch Netflix like last time. You think about it for another moment, then with a gigantic sigh, you pull out The Great Gatsby.

Maybe it's time you actually read this shit.

You've seen thousands of nameless people on the internet claiming the book was their absolute favorite. You suppose you can finally see what the hype is all about.

But turns out, this book sucks. Though some sentences are well-structured and sure, the writing is pretty eloquent, you're sure you could come up with a more intriguing plot than whatever the fuck this is. You're already halfway through the book and you've been rendered unimpressed.

Yet reading the actual book gives you a much better idea of the story than Sparknotes or even Shmoop. Not that you care about getting the best understanding of the book; you could care less about getting a good grade on this stupid project. Your IB Lit grade is already pretty high anyway.

And Jungkook? Well, his grade is his own problem now. He hasn't texted you after the incident on Saturday, so you just assume the two of you will finish the project separately. Completely fine by you.

On Tuesday, you have an AP Physics II and AP Chemistry test. Neither of them bothers you too much, and you find yourself reaching to finish the second half of The Great Gatsby instead of studying for them. You'd finished the book at home yesterday and its contents have occupied your mind for hours now.

Even during lunch, you sit down, munching on your food and head buzzing with thoughts and interpretations that you'd missed on your research Quizlet runs. One quote seems to echo in your mind.

"I hope she'll be a fool—that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool."

Daisy Buchanan had said this, the iconic queen that she is. Unfortunately, other readers don't seem to agree with you. There are accusations of which readers seem to wonder if Daisy had ever loved Gatsby. She's objectified and vilified for choosing financial stability over her feelings. Many think of her as vain and shallow to chase after money but men are praised when they do the same thing. Men, like Gatsby, are allowed to believe in the American Dream—the sole premise that if they try, they'll make it out to succeed. But this dream doesn't apply to women, who are thought of as weak and submissive. Even if they have big dreams, even if they want to make their own wealth, they're given far fewer opportunities. The only way for them to find their success is through marriage. So, what's so wrong with Daisy wanting success? Why is she the so-called antagonist?

Your head begins to hurt, mulling over all these thoughts and mean misunderstandings. Why are we reading this? The sexist subtones of this fucking book are barely discussed either. So are we just going to accept this blatant discrimination against women and assume it doesn't happen anymore?

Now you're absolutely livid. And it's time for some more research.

Chemistry and physics forgotten, you spend the brunt of your lunchtime looking up articles about Fitzgerald and his history as an author. Maybe that could shed more light on his rather questionable take on women in The Great Gatsby. What you find, however, makes you progressively angry.

Fitzgerald was one shitty fucking man. Definitely worse than Jungmin, too. He'd been caught taking large snippets of Zelda Fitzgerald's (his wife's) writings from her diaries and letters and having the sheer audacity to publish them as his own. He locked her up in their home and claimed she was deranged, which furthered the downfall of her mental health and stability. That man had treated Zelda like shit. And somehow, he's the bitch who gets praised in history.

Your head hurts from these revelations. It's almost hard to suppress your anger and for a moment you have to close your eyes and take calming, deep breaths.

But that's when someone clears their throat in front of you. Looking up, you see fucking Jeon Jungkook of all people. He's holding up his lunch bag, smiling kindly. God, you want to wipe that smile straight off of his face.

"Mind if I eat lunch with you?"

You stare at him. Well, more like glare at him, completely stunned into silence. What the fuck is his business? What is he doing? Why is he here?

But before you can even tell him, 'No. Get lost,' he opens his mouth and:

"I left Jungmin's friend group soooo yeah, I'm kinda in need of a lunch buddy right now."

Your mouth drops open. "You... You left Jungmin's group?"

The boy just shrugs. "Nah, it's not a big deal. Well... Maybe it is. We kind of had a fight, I guess. He admitted to doing a lot of... questionable things. I don't know. I don't support what he did, though. So I thought I'd do what you did. Cut him off."

Well... You're pleasantly surprised. But the words that come out of your mouth contrasts your thoughts.

"I know you have plenty of other friends to go back to."

Jungkook shrugs and he plops down next to you on the floor. "So? I wanna hang with you."

What the fuck. You're rendered speechless.

And maybe Jungkook senses the awkwardness because he shoots a question right away. "Sooo, what are you doing?"

"Thinking. Researching," you reply.

"Researching?" Jungkook asks. "Again?"

"Yeah, well, I found out Fitzgerald's a fucking incompetent bitch who stole his wife's work. Also, I read the book and I hated it. It's just so... god, it makes me mad that we idolize this sort of literature that condemns innocent women."

Jungkook's eyes are wide. "He plagiarized??? And we study his work?" He scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief. "Seems very much counterintuitive. I think you have a good point."

Your head jerks toward him. "Wait, I do??"

"No, seriously," he says. "The book does condemn innocent women and Daisy deserves justice. Wait, shit. This topic is so much better than the American Dream. We should totally go the feminism route."

This is the first time you've ever heard a guy say the word 'feminism' in an unmalicious way. It is a shocker, indeed. "Wait... really?" you ask. "You don't feel... I don't know, uncomfortable? Jungmin was always uh, uncomfortable when I brought that kind of stuff up with him."

Jungkook frowns. "That probably has something to do with the fact that he's an ignorant piece of trash. I'm trying to learn to be better, I guess. High school's not all there is to life. It's probably better to hang out with people like you than people like Jungmin."

Maybe you miscalculated Jungkook. Goddamn. Maybe he's being nice for the sake of being nice. Maybe you can trust him. How is he the only person you've met at Welton who is likable? Welton students don't like to learn for intrinsic reasons—they're all grade-obsessed zombies. But Jungkook proves otherwise. Does this mean you're actually going to give him another chance?

You take a look at the serious boy next to you. His eyes are slightly narrowed, forehead creased. He looks goddamn genuine.

You know what? A second chance, it is.

A small smile breaks from your lips. "I agree."

From watching your smile, Jungkook's serious look morphs into a look of happiness. "So?" he says. "Are we working together, partner? We'll kinda have to start over, though."

You give him a slight nod. "Min's? Today, after school? I'm buying this time."

"Deal."

The two of you chat until the end of lunch, and Jungkook even walks you to your physics class. Right before you're about to go into the classroom, however, he grabs your shoulder and leans in. Your eyes widen at his close proximity.

But Jungkook just simply whispers in your ear. "For the extra credit question, you have to use theta on the outer side of the triangle the bridge and the boat make to get that side length. The answer's 2.67 m/s. Good luck."

And just like that, he leans back, waves at you and walks away like he hadn't just given you the answer to the almost impossible extra credit questions your teacher likes to give.

So he does care. And he is nice. But wait a minute. It's that thing your sister always tells you. Guys aren't nice to you without some kind of an ulterior motive. Does Jungkook want an A in this class that badly? Still, you desperately want to believe that he's different. You want to believe that he just simply wants to be your friend.

And although you have so many thoughts jumbled up in your brain, you manage to ace the physics test, which really comes as second nature to you. You're not so lucky with the chemistry test, however. No worries, though. The generous curve will save your ass. And besides, you're kind of excited to meet Jungkook after school. There's a lot to discuss about The Great Gatsby.

"It's completely wrong how we're out here praising Gatsby for being so persistent with Daisy," you say. "He's unhealthily obsessed and we're supposed to feel sympathy for that kind of behavior."

Jungkook nods, sipping his drink.

"Daisy doesn't owe Gatsby jackshit. If she chooses Tom over him, that's her right, and she shouldn't be called the 'antagonist' for rejecting an incredibly immature man."

"No yeah, you're right," Jungkook says. "Daisy is written as a fickle, foolish woman and it doesn't sit right with me that we're insulting her for the same things that men do."

"Exactly."

Jungkook catches on quickly. And soon, the two of you have enough material to sit comfortably and chat about things other than the infuriating sexism of the Roaring 20's. As typical Welton students, there's not much else to talk about, though.

"So, do you have a dream school?" Jungkook asks.

You shake your head. "Not really."

He nods, seemingly understanding your college crisis. "But do you have a major in mind?"

In your wildest dreams, you'd love to be in the performing arts—to pursue dancing or even cheer. But there's always that notion of you wanting to prove something. There's something inside of you that just believes you'll regret going down the arts path when you have the perfect capability of pursuing STEM. And there is a lack of women in those departments...

You shrug. "I dunno. I'll probably go for physics or biochemical engineering."

"Damn," Jungkook says. "So you're smart smart."

You laugh. "Not exactly. But what about you? You have a dream school? A dream major?"

"Me?" Jungkook smiles. "I've got my eyes on Yale swim."

"Oh wow. You're smart smart."

He just shrugs in response. "I just wanna get out of here."

"Out of California, huh?"

"Yeah. Just to meet new people and get away from the Welton kids," he laughs sheepishly. "But we both know at least ten of them are gonna get into Yale next year anyway."

You snort. "Yeah, well, Welton kids and the Ivies are best friends."

"You could get into an Ivy League if you wanted to, Y/N," Jungkook insists. "I mean, c'mon. President of three clubs, cheerleader, straight A's, volunteering. What couldn't they like about you?"

"No one even comes to my club meetings anymore. Also, I'm an ex-cheerleader," you laugh. "And besides, they want a tragic backstory or whatever and the most 'tragic' thing that happened to me was Jungmin. I don't think they'll care much about ex-boyfriend talk."

"Eh. If that doesn't work then you can always try buying your way in."

You turn to him, eyes wide before realizing that had been a joke. You giggle, shaking your head. "I don't want to go to an Ivy."

"You don't? Then what was the point of going to Welton?"

You groan. "Well... I kind of followed Jungmin here..."

"Oh, shit."

"I know. Stupid of me. But hey, I know better now. I have no idea what I want for my future, but I'm figuring it out at my own pace. By myself."

"That's good to hear though," Jungkook says. "I think a lot of us don't know what we want. But we're expected to know anyways. Funny, huh?"

You nod, chewing on your boba thoughtfully. "Sometimes I wonder about the whole point. You know, getting into a 'good' college. Why do we care so much about the name?"

Jungkook shrugs. "I guess it's all about reputation. I don't know about your parents, but mine would kill me if I didn't get into an Ivy. Think about all the people who'd talk. 'He was in varsity swim, took hard classes and couldn't even get in?' I can just imagine them saying that kind of shit."

"Damn. My parents just want me to leave the house," you sigh. "I guess it really is different for everyone."

"Yeah. I guess it is. But for now, it just seems like happiness isn't really a priority," Jungkook says. "It's reputation over comfort."

"Maybe this will all make sense when we're older," you offer. "Maybe it's because we're so young."

"We're practically eighteen," Jungkook laughs. "I'd say we're pretty close to adulthood. But then again, it's the experience that makes up adults and not age, huh?"

"Yeah," you sigh. "At this point, I can't wait to grow up."

Jungkook smiles. "Me neither. Sometimes, I forget that we're just high schoolers."

"We study like college students, anyway," you snort. "It's easy to forget, I guess."

"I'm just scared we'll go to college and it'll be the same damn thing," Jungkook says.

"It could be."

"And you're not scared?"

"I mean, I feel like the worst has already happened to me," you laugh. "Maybe you're scared that you'll just peak in high school," you tease.

Jungkook just laughs along with you. "Oh, I'm not just scared, I'm terrified it'll actually happen."

"Don't worry." It comes out of your mouth before you can really register what you're saying. "You're definitely only getting better from here."

Jungkook looks surprised at your sudden compliment, but he hides it with a bright smile. "That's actually a lot coming from you, you know." A pause. "Smartass."

You're giggling, though being called a smartass isn't quite a compliment, it's really the way he says it that uplifts your spirits to the sky. Talking to Jungkook is actually more interesting than you'd thought. Maybe not all Welton students are mindless grade-zombies. Maybe more of them—like Jungkook—have deeper dreams, thoughts, plans. Either way, this is the most enlightening and genuine conversation you've had in years.

Jungkook seems to have enjoyed it too because the next thing you know, he's offering to drive you home. Unfortunately, you have to refuse since your sister had already volunteered to do the job (and who are you to decline your sister over a high school boy?). But the two of you part with smiles and good laughs—much different from last time.

Once you get in your sister's car, she turns to you, frowning. "So you're hanging out with the asshole again," she says. "Don't you hate him?"

"Hello to you too," you laugh. "And Jungkook? I don't know... I think I might've misjudged him. I mean, have you ever seen a guy invested in women's rights?"

Your sister snorts. "Yeah. The ones who wanna get into your pants."

This time it's your turn to frown at your sister. "You're saying he has an ulterior motive."

She nods. "Yeah, guys are like that. You'll see," she says, stepping on the gas and glaring at Jungkook who's waving from the side mirror. "Just be careful."

Your sister's looking out for you. You know that. And sure, maybe you feel a little wary deep inside, but... Jungkook really does seem nice. You might even go as far as to call him your friend after today. The real problem arises though when you ponder about whether he thinks what you have is a friendship. Is he assuming something else? Like what your sister believes?

God, you'll never know.

The Lit project isn't due for another month.

In the vocabulary of a typical Welton student, that means most haven't started the project—while the others (a minority) have already finished it.

You and Jungkook are in the healthy between, having completed the PowerPoint presentation and a basic outline of your script. All you really need to do now is finish the script and make the time-consuming poster board.

Meanwhile, everything at school falls into a pattern. Turns out, Jungkook has another friend group he's been hanging out with—all friends from swim. You're introduced to Seokjin, Jimin, Miru and Yejin. They're a nice bunch who are studious but also know good meme references like normal high school students should. They bring you comfort and company—two things you desperately needed since a disaster tornado called Jungmin struck. The six of you eat lunch together every day and you attend all of their swim matches. You know that if you were still in cheer, they would've gone to all of your performances.

"Hey, you ready to meet my mom?" Jungkook asks you as he unbuckles his seatbelt.

You do the same and shrug. "I dunno. Do you think she's going to approve of me?" you joke. "What if I'm not studious enough?"

He snorts. "You can't get more studious than that, Y/N."

The two of you exit his car and you find yourself in front of a rather nice house. It's large, well-decorated and has a grassy green lawn blooming with a variety of different flowers. "My mom insists on hiring gardeners," Jungkook laughs when your eyes widen at a particular bush trimmed to look like a deer. "Let's just say it gets really loud on Thursdays."

Now you're a little nervous to meet his mom—even as a friend. Is she the type to exile you if you're not up to par with her standards?

Jungkook enters the password on his lock and his front door opens silently. "I'm home!" he calls. "Y/N's here too!"

At that, a voice calls from around a corner. "Oh? Y/N!"

You and Jungkook take off your shoes before entering his home, only to be engulfed by warm welcomes from his mother. She looks very pleased that Jungkook brought a friend over and makes you know it by offering you plates and plates of fruit.

"Mom," Jungkook hisses. "We'll eat later, I promise. We have to do our project first."

"If you need anything, Y/N, just ask Jungkook," she tells you with a kind smile. "If he doesn't do as you say, I give you permission to hit him."

You laugh. "Thank you Mrs. Jeon! But I assure you that I'm not that demanding and Jungkook's always very nice to me."

"Nice?" Mrs. Jeon raises her eyebrows. "Ooh. Okay then." She grins. "You keep being nice to her," she tells her son, patting his back. "I'll leave you two to finish your project!"

The moment she leaves the dining room, Jungkook sighs. "She's always like that when I have friends over. I promise she's really scary though."

You snort. "She seems nice to me!"

Jungkook just shakes his head (though a smile rests on his face) and splays out the blank poster board that you and he had bought together last weekend on one of your Target trips. Immediately, the two of you get to work.

As typical Welton students, you and Jungkook mean absolute business. So much so that the two of you finish everything you'd intended to in just a couple of hours. You sit back with Jungkook, admiring the finished poster board and double-checking the script for the last time to make sure everything is coherent and perfect.

"I don't think it can get any better than this," Jungkook comments as he laughs at you reading the script for the umpteenth time, nitpicking the littlest words and phrases. "Your sister's picking you up at 7, right?"

"Mhm," you say, nodding. "Damn, that leaves us a whole two hours."

Jungkook thinks for a second before his face lights up from an idea. "Hey, let's hang out in my room, then. There's more to do there than down here."

You end up following Jungkook up to his room, watching as he plops down on his bed while you awkwardly lean against the door frame, unsure of what to do. You've never exactly been in a boy's room before—not even Jungmin's. He never let you in there. Your eyes take a swift glance around the rather large room. It's littered with glittering golden trophies and medals but other than that, it's plain and undecorated. The bedroom seems to lack the personality that Jungkook very much has.

But you also take notice of a nice mini fridge in the corner and a flatscreen T.V. right in front of his bed. Damn.

"Want something to drink?" Jungkook asks when he catches you eyeing his fridge. "I have lemonade, Sprite and Coke. Diet, I think?"

You politely decline with a shake of your head. "No, I'm fine." You're still awkwardly standing in front of the doorway.

"Then you wanna watch something?"

Glancing at his T.V., you decide that yes, some quality television will help ease the awkwardness. "Sure."

Jungkook pats his bed, gesturing for you to sit on it with him as he gets out a remote control from his bedside table and turns the T.V. on. You carefully perch on the edge of the bed, minding the weight you put on it before staring at the screen. Jungkook's browsing through his Netflix account, mindlessly scrolling through the options.

Your eyebrows raise as you realize he's been watching quite a few animes, the most recent being Attack on Titan. "Oh? You like anime?" you ask him.

For some reason, Jungkook looks embarrassed. "O-Oh... Yeah. But I swear I'm not a weeb or anything."

You snort. "Well, I heard some good things about AOT..."

Jungkook looks excited at your words and he grins. "Then do you wanna watch a few episodes? Subbed because that's always better."

You nod your head, yes, shifting in your seat to a more comfortable position.

"It's kind of gruesome, though," Jungkook warns you. "Is that okay?"

"I'll live," you snort.

And with that, you become immersed in a strange fantastical world of strange monsters and even stranger solutions. The first episode leaves you terrified and confused. The second episode leaves you excited and yet still confused. The confusion never ends but the excitement only grows.

At the beginning of the sixth episode, your sister calls. Both you and Jungkook jump at the sound and he laughs, pausing the show for you to pick up the call.

"Hello?"

"Come out, Y/N, I'm here."

"'Kay."

You turn to Jungkook. "God... That was..."

"Right?" He grins. "It only gets better."

You quickly stand up, straightening your clothes and gathering your school items. Jungkook follows you to his front door, opening it for you and sheepishly waving his hand goodbye

"Uh..." you trail off awkwardly, slipping on your shoes before staring at the taller boy. "I had fun."

He beams. "Me too."

You give him a final wave and then you're walking out of his house and into your sister's car. The moment you get in she asks, "So? How was it?"

You're not sure how you're going to explain this. "I dunno."

She turns to you, fingers drumming on the steering wheel. "What do you mean, you don't know?"

"It's just that..." you pause. "Maybe I misjudged him in the beginning. Because right now, he's uh, pretty great."

Your sister raises her eyebrows. "'I have feelings for you' kind of great or 'wow such a good friend' kind of great?"

You roll your eyes. "A good friend. I'm trying not to get in another relationship in a while."

"Hope he knows that too."

"God, do you have to be so cynical?"

Your sister raises her hands in the air. "I'm not! I'm just trying to warn you. You know, help you."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

Your sister always has good intentions for you. She works her hardest to be your second mother, to give you advice and support when you need it. But this time, maybe this time, her judgment is wrong.

The adults were right. With time, the drama begins to settle down. The bullying online comes to a stop—either that or you just don't notice the aggression as much. It's been quite a while since you've been on social media. You used to spend every waking moment with your old groups of friends taking Instagram-worthy photos. These days, you don't remember the last time you've insisted on taking aesthetic photos with Jungkook and your new friends. When you spend time with them, things feel so natural, so well-paced that you don't want to interrupt the moment by photographing it.

With time, your relationship with Jungkook also strengthens.

What started as a one-time Friday night AOT watching marathon turns into a weekly tradition. Now, you and Jungkook find yourselves using stream-sharing applications to wind down from the long weekdays and watch your show together in the comfort of your own homes. Sometimes, it seems like Jungkook loves watching your facial expressions a little more than actually watching the show. He likes poking fun at your terrified reactions when disaster strikes and finds it humorous when you begin to yell at the characters on the screen. In just two weeks, you've almost finished the whole anime with a few episodes of season four, part one left.

Jungkook suggests you come over to finish the anime (or at least what's been released so far). And who are you to decline?

This time, lying on his bed feels more natural. Popcorn and all kinds of snacks surround the two of you as your eyes glue onto the screen, watching the intense action sequences and gasping at the plot twists. Jungkook finds your reactions just as entertaining as the show itself.

The moment the final episode of the season finishes, you throw your hands in the air. "I need to know more!"

"We'll have to wait for this season's part two," Jungkook laughs, sipping his can of Diet Coke.

"I don't know if I can even make that wait," you groan. "When is it coming out?"

Jungkook grimaces. "Well... in a year or so."

You groan, falling onto Jungkook's bed and covering your face with your hands. "I definitely can't wait that long."

"Just stay away from the internet," Jungkook warns you. "You'll need to watch out for spoilers."

You sigh, picking yourself up from Jungkook's bed before glancing around his room and catching sight of your Lit project poster. "Hey... I just realized we never rehearsed our presentation."

"Oh right," Jungkook snorts. "I've read over my script a couple of times and called it a day. Wanna give it a whirl now?"

The two of you scramble up and take the presentation from the top. It's perfect. There are no mistakes. Neither of you stumbles over your words (having memorized large chunks of the script already). If you present just like this in a couple of weeks, you're guaranteed an A. But what else would you expect from a couple of dedicated Welton students?"

Soon, you and Jungkook have sprawled on top of his bed again, lost in conversation.

"Nah, my AP scores are ass," Jungkook sighs, picking at the loose thread on his comforter.

"At least you've got something to show on your SAT," you pout. "I'm barely at the average a Welton student should be."

"I can't believe we have to worry about standardized tests on top of our GPA," Jungkook says. "Sometimes I feel like we're not actually learning anything."

"Right?" you say. "It's always about scores and numbers and the goddamn letter 'A.' We learn only because we have to—for our grades—but not because we genuinely wanna learn."

"Even when I want to learn more, when I ask my teachers questions, they always answer with, 'That's not on the test,'" Jungkook sighs.

"I know! Mr. Kim, we don't give two fucks if it's on the test or not. We just genuinely want to know more."

"It's as if learning without a letter grade is a foreign concept to them," Jungkook says.

"School isn't education," you snort. "It's a business. We're just feeding into it."

"And I guess it all comes back to capitalism," Jungkook says, grinning. "Not that what we think matters anyways. Adults think we're too liberal and we're only this way because we haven't 'lived life.' Other kids our age just don't really care."

"It's because they think our criticisms are baseless," you say. "They think we're stupid to point out the problems and then not do anything about it."

"But what are we supposed to do about it? To them, we're too young to actually offer solutions but we're also too old to be complaining about societal issues. Which is it, really?"

"They need to make up their damn minds," you say, rolling your eyes.

"I'm just glad I have someone to rant about this shit with," Jungkook says, turning over to face you. He’s grinning and his eyes are sparkling with an emotion you can’t quite discern. You don’t know what it is about him but you smile right back.

"Me too."

"Listen, I just got the craziest idea."

Your eyebrows raise. "Really?"

"We should go to prom together."

Your eyes widen. And your heart sinks. Is this what your sister tried to warn you about? That he never even considered you as a friend? That you were always someone he has to date, to be in a relationship with?

When Jungkook sees your hesitation, he panics, stuttering as he tries to relay his next few words. “Wait, I… Sorry, I meant like, you know, as friends.”

Oh.

You’d misinterpreted him, then. You breathe a sigh of relief. “Oh,” you laugh nervously. “Sorry. I thought… yeah, whatever. No, I mean, yes. Let’s go.”

“We were planning to go as a group,” Jungkook explains. “You, me, Seokjin, Jimin, Miru and Yejin. Jimin’s unofficially officially going with Miru and Seokjin’s going with Yejin. As friends. It’s just a big friendly friend group date night,” he explains almost sheepishly.

You giggle. “That sounds really fun.”

Jungkook looks at you, smiling fondly. “It will be.”

He drives you home that night, waiting until you safely get into your house before resting his head against the wheel. He gathers his breath before shifting gears and driving away without another glance behind him.

Miru and Yejin wanted to take you shopping for prom dresses but you'd already promised your sister that honor. Besides, Miru and Yejin are too nice to honestly tell you what dresses actually look good on you.

“Ew that's fucking ugly, take it off,” your sister snorts as you twirl around for her in a sleek black dress.

“It looked good on the mannequin!” you protest.

She snorts. “Everything looks good on the mannequin. Besides, who are you trying to impress here, anyway? Jungkook said you’re going as friends so don’t go looking all regal or he might change his mind.”

“I trust him,” you say.

Your sister stares. Finally, she sighs. “You know what? Maybe I’ll trust your judgment this time. In that case, look.” She points at a silvery blue dress hanging nearly hidden on the sales rack. “Doesn’t that one look nice?”

You have to agree. And when you try on the dress, your sister cries mock tears, pretending to wipe them away with her sleeve. “My little sister’s all grown up.”

“Oh, shut up,” you laugh, twirling around in the sparkling gown. “Do I really look great?”

“Have I ever told you a lie?”

You think for a moment. “Well, yes. Remember when you told me babies come from storks?”

“I wasn't about to explain the whole reproductive process to a six-year-old!” she hisses. “But I’m serious. It’s beautiful. You look great. And it’s on sale. A win-win!”

The dress is a keeper. Your sister buys it for you from out of her own pocket, and you make a note to yourself that if you ever end up rich, you’re gonna buy her a fucking car or something. She was always your second mother (and your preferred one at that).

Soon, the day of the dance comes and your sister’s making the last few finishing touches on your makeup when the doorbell rings.

“They’re here,” you tell her as your sister cleans up the edges of your eyeliner and pats your cheek adoringly.

“Have the time of your life,” she says. “High school doesn’t last forever.”

“Such good advice,” you laugh. “Any more parting words of wisdom for me?”

She pretends to think. “Hm. No. Just have fun. And stay safe.”

Your sister walks you down the stairs and you put on your heels at the front door as your sister opens it. There stands Jeon Jungkook, a bouquet of yellow flowers in his hand, wearing an elegant navy suit with a silvery blue tie.

The moment he sees your dress, he laughs. “We’re matching!”

Your sister raises her eyebrows. “Wait, you guys didn’t do it on purpose?”

“No,” you giggle, taking the flowers from Jungkook and smelling them. “We didn’t plan this at all.”

“I was actually betting on you wearing yellow,” he snorts, gesturing toward the bouquet. “But your dress outdid my own thoughts. You look great.” He grins, nose scrunching cutely as he outstretches his arm. “The others are waiting in Seokjin’s minivan.”

You smile at his compliment, feeling your cheeks heat up. “Thanks. You look good too.”

Your sister watches your exchange with raised eyebrows and a look of amusement on her face. “Well, go out and have fun, you two. And Jungkook?”

“Yes, ma’am?” he says, saluting at your sister.

She snorts. “Get her home by three.”

“I’ll do you one better and get her home by midnight.”

Your sister nods approvingly. “Well, that leaves seven hours of fun, doesn’t it? Get off the porch, then! Bye, Y/N!” She waves at you enthusiastically, almost as if she’s sending you off to college. In reality, you’re just going to dinner and a dance.

You and Jungkook rush into Seokjin’s minivan, sitting together in the back and screaming the lyrics to Party in the USA. Jungkook had offered to buy everyone dinner at a nice sushi place. Thank goodness they put you in a walled-off room because Seokjin and Jimin talk everyone’s ears off. It takes two hours to eat with Yejin ordering more and more sodas for everyone because today’s her cheat day. At one point, Jimin and Miru stir up the most revolting concoction of soy sauce, sriracha, sugar, wasabi, water and lemon juice and dare Seokjin to drink it. He does, to everyone’s surprise. For the next fifteen minutes after, tears stream down his face from the spice and disgusting taste. You and Jungkook giggle, filming his reaction to keep for memory’s sake. Yejin pats Seokjin on the back and orders him a can of Sprite.

By the time the six of you leave the place, it’s dark outside. You’re running a little late for the dance (a consequence of having such a fun-loving friend group). But it also means you miss the crowd at the entrance so you get into the dance fairly easily.

The theme for prom this year just so happens to be ‘Out of this World,’ which works perfectly with your and Jungkook’s outfits. The six of you dance so hard in the flashing lights and loud music that after three hours, you’re sweating bullets and kind of feeling the need to throw up.

Jungkook announces to the group that you and he are going to play the galaxy arcade games around the refreshments table, which prompts the whole group to follow you. Turns out, Jungkook is an arcade pro. He makes the games look easy, and ends up beating the high score on the machine.

While the rest of the group goes back to dance, you and Jungkook decide (well, you decide) that you’ve danced enough today to last a lifetime. To avoid the mustiness of sweat and the stuffiness inside the building, Jungkook leads you out to the quad. The two of you walk around the dimly-lighted space before you suggest heading over to the baseball field.

You and Jungkook climb up the metal stadium stands, laughing and giggling at who knows what. He slips off his suit jacket, wordlessly handing it over to you. How he knew you were cold, you have no idea. The two of you sit side by side, with you leaning back to stare at the dark sky and Jungkook leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. It’s silent for a while as the two of you let the night breeze caress your wet faces and gather your thoughts.

You tug Jungkook’s jacket closer around your frame. It smells like him. Fresh lavender soap and warm vanilla. You want to sink yourself into the scent forever.

It’s so serene like this. Just the two of you. Winding down from the loud day with silence.

Why does it feel like you should be leaning against him?

Why does this feel romantic?

“My stomach’s gonna burst,” Jungkook says. He effectively lightens the mood and makes you laugh at such a sudden confession.

“The sushi’s still sitting in your gut, huh?” you laugh. “I don’t know how Seokjin’s faring after drinking that nasty thing.”

Jungkook laughs along with you. And his laugh is the prettiest laugh you’ve ever heard. Twinkling like the night stars and light and silvery like wind chimes.

When you look at his face, illuminated only by the dim stadium lights and moonshine, you realize then and there that you might feel something for him.

Fuck. Not now. Why?

But he treats you as his friend. Hell, you want him to treat you as his friend.

“I think I see Orion’s Belt,” Jungkook says, nudging your shoulder and pointing at the sky.

You squint. But all you see is the black sky. The stadium lights make it hard to see anything out in space except for the moon. “I don't see shit.”

Jungkook chuckles. “Me too. I was just joking. I don’t know shit about astronomy.”

You smile. You don’t want to jeopardize this. You’re not going to mess this friendship up. It’s too perfect.

“Oh shit, it’s like twenty minutes to midnight. I gotta get you home.” Jungkook stands up and holds his hand out for you to take.

You look up at him and decline his offer, standing by yourself. “We need to gather up our friends.”

Jungkook snorts. “Nah, we should take a Lyft. They’re probably dancing their hearts out and I don’t want to cut their night short.”

“You should go back to them,” you say. “I don’t wanna cut your night short. I can take a Lyft back home by myself.”

“Wow, you wanna get rid of me that badly?” Jungkook laughs. “Your sister would have my head on a stick if I let you go home alone this late.” He pauses. “And I enjoy your company. I’ll call the Lyft.”

Minutes later, you and Jungkook sit in the backseat of a car, the middle seat acting as some sort of barrier between the two of you. It’s silent during the whole ride. You can’t help but replay the moments you’d spent with him today over and over again. You wonder what Jungkook’s thinking about. How he had the time of his life with a friend, probably. Either that, or about how tight his pants are around his stomach after that huge meal.

God.

Why do you have the urge to pull him by his collar and kiss him? You want to sit close to him, rest your head against his shoulder. Be with him.

That familiar feeling crawls back to you: patheticness.

You try to tell yourself that you’re just lonely. That you'd use any excuse to feel like you’re in a relationship again. But no. You genuinely like this boy. And you’re going to do everything in your power to hide it, to ignore it.

When the Lyft stops in front of your house, Jungkook opens the door for you and you slip out, minding your gown. He walks you up to your doorstep and you shrug his suit jacket off, handing it back to him.

He mumbles a small thanks before grinning widely, revealing his bunny-like smile. You have to look up at his hair to avoid falling for it even more.

“I had the best night, Y/N,” he says. “See you on Monday?”

You nod, eyes sparkling as you stare into his own. This is the moment in movies where you kiss. And then someone would open the front door and interrupt you.

But this isn’t a goddamn movie. Nor are you in a cheesy high school romance story.

“Thanks, Jungkook. I had a lot of fun too.”

And without any kisses, any parting words of romance, the two of you part.

I forgot what it feels like to like someone, you write. But I remember now. My insides feel twisted upside down. It’s hard to speak sometimes. I have to rehearse what I say so I won’t stutter and sound like an idiot. I want to put up my best front for him. But he’s comfortable being himself around me. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know what to do but act like nothing has changed. Fuck you, Jeon Jungkook for waltzing into my life and staying.

It feels like an era is ending. Everything had started when you'd met Jungkook for the Lit project, but now things feel like it’s coming to a close. Because today’s the day you and Jungkook present your topic.

And it’s quite amazing if you say so for yourself. Better than some of the other topics you’ve witnessed the past few days during presentations. More than half of the presenters have chosen the American Dream as their topic, and after a while, it gets irritatingly repetitive.

But your topic is a breath of fresh air.

Your teacher is head over heels in love with the idea.

“What a refreshing take on The Great Gatsby, Jungkook and Y/N. In my twenty-seven years of teaching at Welton, I’ve never seen anyone approach this topic before. You've both made excellent points and you've opened my eyes to the quandaries of modernism."

He gives you a 98. It's not 100 (but Welton teachers try to withhold from a perfect score at all times), so you and Jungkook know it's basically the best score Mr. Kim's willing to give. Compared to Jungkook's friends' 78's and 83's, 98 is quite the accomplishment.

"This kind of achievement deserves some celebration!" Jungkook hoots as he pumps his fist in the air. "Boba after school?"

Boba after school, indeed.

The two of you walk to Min's side by side, arms swinging next to each other but hands never quite touching. "I still can't believe we aced that thing!" you say.

"Really?" Jungkook grins. "I can. We're just that good."

You smile. "I think he took off two percent because I stumbled over my words for half a second."

Jungkook just shakes his head, chuckling. "Nah, he took off two percent because I forgot to bring my formal shoes."

"How do you know?" you giggle, eyes following down where Jungkook's pointing at his black hightop Converse.

"He wrote it on the rubric," Jungkook laughs. "But even if I did wear the right shoes, you know he would've found some way to prevent us from getting that 100."

"Maybe then he would've actually taken off points for my half-second verbal blunder," you say. You're about to say more when you look up at your surroundings and see a familiar building that casts a shadow over the two of you. It's a nice-looking place with a scarlet red sign reading Hart's Dance Studio, and there's that slim silhouette of a ballerina jumping over the top. When you were younger, you'd always imagined yourself to be that ballerina. Tall, graceful, majestic.

Jungkook stops walking to look at you staring intently at the building. "Do you know this place?"

"Oh yeah," you sigh. "I used to go here almost every day for practice."

"Right. You were a dancer," Jungkook murmurs. "Do you... do you um, miss it?"

Miss it? Of course you do. "Yeah..." You nod slowly before turning to Jungkook and beaming. "I don't miss the people there at all, though. I found my people right here." You point to Jungkook's chest, making a motion to jab at it. He laughs in response and puffs out his chest.

You're not sure if you're imagining it. But his eyes sparkle in happiness? amusement? as he laughs. And for just a split second, his hand grazes yours. You feel the electricity from the top of your head to the tips of your fingers. Your heart beats quicker—too quick and your face is warm even though it's a little breezy outside today.

"I found my people right here too," Jungkook says. He pats the top of your head before tousling your hair.

And that's when you know that he considers you as his best friend. You consider him as your best friend too. A best friend you currently have feelings for.

Junior year ends with an absolute bang! Your grades have never looked better, your mental health is immaculate and your friend group is toxicity and drama-free. With the blessing of your stable academic life, you're able to commence hot girl summer with no regrets.

"Fuck private school," Yejin snorts. "I'm going to a community college and transferring. Saves money and tears." She sprays excessive tanning ointment onto her legs, lathering it into her skin for maximum effect. "Jungkook, are you still looking at Yale?"

He nods sheepishly, adjusting his swim goggles on top of his head. "Have been since day one."

"He's training for it every day," you giggle. "Of course he's gonna get in."

"Hurry up and go do some laps," Seokjin orders. "I want a 500 free, stat!"

"Make it 1,000!" Jimin yells.

Jungkook just rolls his eyes but he flexes his arm muscles and stretches his back, enunciating the faint outline of a six-pack and hardening his thigh muscles. "Fine."

You have to struggle to make eye contact with him, not daring your eyes to wander further down to his well-toned body. He dives into his pool completely flawlessly—there's barely a splash of water. And he begins to swim.

Usually, you're at his backyard pool with him alone every morning, watching and helping him train. You're his lap counter, his timer and sometimes, you get to sit on his back when he does push-ups. On slower days, you watch him make laps around the pool as you sit down on his poolside chairs and do some extra physics studying. But today, Jungkook has invited the rest of your friend group for some poolside fun. Except no one's looking to get in the water (having done enough of it at school).

"Seokjin's aiming for Vanderbilt, Jimin's for Georgetown and Miru's into Duke," Yejin announces. "You still don't have a dream school, Y/N?"

You nod your head. "I'm probably going to go to a UC," you say. "But I'm applying to three privates."

"Oh?" Seokjin says. "That's new news."

"Yeah. I'm looking at Caltech, Stanford and MIT."

"Easy money," Yejin snorts.

"With your stats, you'll get in," Miru says.

"I highly doubt it," you snort. "Besides, they've been picking fewer Welton students over the years. So something's not working out on their end."

"Then the UC's it is," Jimin declares. "Don't worry. We'll all get into at least two of them. Maybe as Regent's Scholars." He wiggles his eyebrows.

"Have any of you started your applications?" Miru asks. "I don't wanna write my essays and sound like I'm forty-five and in a mid-life crisis. But I heard Ivies eat that philosophical bullcrap up."

"Just be you," Seokjin sings, which earns him an ungrateful push from his friend.

"Nah. Just write about how an egg salad represents your life," Yejin says. "They also seem to eat that shit up."

"Or write about how you're not like the other girls," you say. "They'll go absolutely batshit crazy for it."

Miru rolls her eyes. "Your advice is what sounds batshit crazy," she grumbles. "But there's also a hint of truth in it. Which is what makes it so depressing."

"You should ask Jungkook for some real advice," you say. "He's halfway done with his Yale application already."

"What???" Jimin hollers. "It's the beginning of summer!"

"That's what makes him Ivy material," Seokjin snickers.

The five of you turn your heads to watch Jungkook make ceaseless laps across his pool, his speed steady and never decreasing. He's always hard at work, always pushing towards his goal. If anyone deserves to get into a good school, it's him—and that's your totally unbiased opinion.

"Step on the brakes. Yeah, the brakes. Shit, Y/N! That was the accel!!"

"Sorry!" you squeal, hair in disarray as you slam your left foot on the brakes. "I get them mixed up!"

Jungkook grips the grab handle and smiles nervously. "Um, Y/N, I kinda wanna live to see the end of our senior year."

"Don't worry. I'm pretty sure we'll last 'til then," you say, tongue peeking out of your lips as you concentrate making left-hand turns around Jungkook's gated community.

"You're driving 30 when it's 15!" Jungkook wheezes. "What are you in such a rush for? Slow down!"

"It's so boring when we're going so slowly," you complain, sighing as you lift your foot from the pedal. "Hey, want me to drive us to Min's?"

Jungkook looks at you like you're crazy. "No??" He pushes your shoulder lightly. "Here, I'll drive us there. Let's trade seats."

You're a giggling mess as you sink into the safety of the shotgun seat, and even Jungkook's grinning, shaking his head as he shifts his car gears. "I don't know how you do it, Jungkook," you say. "You make driving look easy."

"Maybe it's an inborn talent," he snorts. "Or hours and hours and hours of practice."

"Want anything to drink?" you ask, crouching down in front of Jungkook's mini fridge and surveying the drinks that are stored inside. "Ooh! You bought strawberry Fanta!"

"Yeah 'cause you like it so much," comes Jungkook's answer. He stretches out on his bed, shifting through the shows and movies on Netflix. "Can you hand me a Powerade?"

You toss the bottle to him and he catches it with one hand, without looking. You settle down next to him on his bed, holding your can of strawberry Fanta and staring at the screen. His bedroom lights are dimly lit for the purpose of home theater but it sets a rather romantic mood—especially with his golden trophies twinkling in your peripheral vision.

Jungkook pulls out a silky blanket from behind his pillows and splays it across your laps, careful so that more of it lands on your side than his. Your heart flutters at his thoughtful gesture.

Legs touching and shoulders leaning against each other, you and Jungkook watch About Time for practically the fiftieth time together. It's both of yours' comfort movies. Something the two of you watch when there's nothing new on the streaming platform. And no matter how many times you lie side by side with Jungkook, watching a romantic movie, you can't shake off your feelings for him. He glows in the darkness, eyes shining with enjoyment and softening when he turns to look at you for your reactions. Or maybe you're imagining that.

You probably are.

Either way, by the time senior year rolls around, you've seen more sunlight and fun in one summer than your whole other years at Welton high school. All thanks to Jeon Jungkook.

The option of confessing to Jungkook has lingered in your mind for some time now. But a confession would be fruitless if you're not expecting him to do the same. Why put a perfectly well-going friendship on the line so I could get something off my chest? you scribble across your diary. Jungkook and I are perfect as we are right now. There's no other way I'd want our relationship to—

"So are you and Jungkook dating yet?"

You sigh, setting your pen down and turning around in your chair to see your sister grinning, leaning against your door frame.

"We're just friends," you say, closing your diary.

Your sister flounces on your bed, resting her face in her hands. "But he's a great guy, though." She wiggles her eyebrows. "You've gotta admit."

"Yeah, well, he thinks of me as a friend."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"So you do like him."

"...Mhm."

"I mean, you have my blessing and everything," your sister says, sitting up from her position and cocking her head. "But you're not going to confess, huh?"

"Never."

She gives you a strange look. "I know it sounds counterintuitive to what I've been telling you for years, but when you see a guy like him, you know the right move is to go for it?"

You laugh out loud, eyes widening at your sister's words. "Are you saying Jungkook's the perfect boyfriend material?"

"He drives you everywhere. He helps you study. He buys you food all the time. He even taught you how to drive," she points out. "I don't even know a lot of boyfriends who'd do that for their girlfriend."

"He's just paying me back for helping him with all of his swim training," you say, shaking your head.

Your sister raises her eyebrows as if she finds that hard to believe. "Suit yourself," she says. "If I were you, I'd confess. You'd be surprised to see how he reacts."

"Jungkook's probably going to Yale, and I'm going to stay in California," you say. "There's no point confessing so late in the game, you know?

Your sister shrugs. "Long-distance?"

"Never," you reply. "And this is if Jungkook even feels the same way. Which, he doesn't."

"All right, all right," your sister says. "I'll stop pestering you." She gets up from your bed and lingers at your door frame. "But I'm telling you it'll be easier to get out of the friendzone now than, I don't know, six years down the road."

You roll your eyes as you watch her leave. Now, this is where your sister's wrong. You have no intention of leaving the friend zone. Besides, you don't have time to worry about boy trouble. College apps are due just around the corner.

You barely even have time to meet up with Jungkook and your other friends. What makes your sister think you can have a whole hypothetical relationship?

Your teachers refuse to let up on their workload, too. You'd think they'd go easier on you as seniors are balancing their college apps with their school life, but you should've known Welton teachers are merciless. But you manage to score your straight A's and leave just a smidge of time to FaceTime Jungkook every now and then.

The two of you keep a bucket list of things to do as soon as college apps are finished. Things including a tour around LA, late-night drives, cafe study dates (the term date used completely platonically) and museum viewing.

There's a part of me that wonders if I even deserve to be friends with Jeon Jungkook. How can someone be so perfect? Or am I just not seeing the flaws?

If I can barely digest being his best friend, how would I ever date him like my sister wants me to? I'll never confess.

And I'm fine with that.

But you're not fine.

When he smiles at you, talks to you, even just sits next to you in silence, your heart feels like it's going to burst.

When he picks you up, opens the shotgun door for you, when he compliments your improving driving skills, when he suggests going for a boba run at 10 at night... They're all moments that make you realize that you're falling for him more and more. It feels dangerous to be into someone like this. Does this mean you're too blinded to see him for who he really is? Or have you fallen for this man because he's so impossibly perfect?

"Y/N..." he calls your name. His voice is like that of a siren's—tantalizing, delicate and alluring all at once. He stares into your eyes, his brown ones softening as he carefully reaches forward to graze his fingertips on your cheek.

"Hm?"

But before you can really react, Jungkook surges forward and captures your lips with his own. Your mouths slot together perfectly, his hands cupping your face and your arms moving to sling around his neck. You imagine he tastes like fresh mint or maybe even Mountain Berry—from all that blue Powerade he drinks all the time.

Wait.

Imagine?

Fuck.

This isn't real.

You blink back to consciousness, cheeks heating up that you'd ever fantasize about kissing your best friend. It's humiliating and though no one else is in your room with you, you hide your face with your hands. This isn't the first time you've daydreamed about being with Jeon Jungkook.

And ever since your sister told you to 'go for it,' you've been weighing her words heavily in your mind. Is she actually wrong? Or are you just stupid and stubborn?

Jungkook haunts your thoughts in the daytime and even at night in your dreams. Is it right to continue on being with him platonically when you're having all these other thoughts?

You're not sure what to do.

Should you really just fuck it all to hell and confess???

College apps are officially finished.

You're finally (half) free from the gates of hell. You and Jungkook decide to celebrate the day by sneaking out of your houses and going for a late-night drive to Yogurtland. Jungkook picks you up in his car, throwing you his spare jacket while laughing when he realizes you're in just a t-shirt and shorts.

"Why aren't you in warmer clothes?" he chastises you and ruffles your hair.

You huff. "You gave me like five minutes to prepare. I only had time to brush my hair, which you just messed up. These are my pajamas."

Jungkook giggles but he hands you the aux cord. "I'll give you a better warning next time. It's your turn to choose the music."

With your other friends, you always sweat bullets when it comes to choosing music, but you're so comfortable around Jungkook that you don't care if he judges your music taste. Lauv's The Other fills the warmth of Jungkook's car as he drives you down the night streets and toward your destination.

"You chose a normal song this time," Jungkook comments, drumming his fingers on his steering wheel and glancing over at you picking at your fingernails.

"Oh, just wait 'til the next song comes one."

Sure enough, you've chosen to play the Shinzou wo Sasageyo, the opening song for Attack on Titan's season two. With the little Japanese that you and Jungkook know, the two of you scream the lyrics and make up new words along the way. Your heart beats rapidly in your chest as you look over at Jungkook who's absolutely singing his heart out, having the time of his life.

The two of you are in an ecstatic mood when you reach the Yogurtland parking lot.

"So did you tell your parents you're coming here?" Jungkook says as he opens the door for you and a wave of cold air hits your face.

You snort. "No. Told my sister, though. She's covering for me. You?"

"Told them I'm getting gas," he says.

"That's a shit lie!" you giggle. "We're gonna have to make it back quickly, now."

"Or I can just tell them there was traffic."

"At 10 p.m. on a Tuesday night??"

Jungkook just grins. "You know what? We'll stay as long as we want, and I'll deal with the consequences at home."

Time passes by so quickly with Jungkook. The hours you spend with him feel like seconds and the dashing smiles he sends your way make you want to swoon. Sitting in the darkness of his car with your ice cream in your hands, you don't have any idea how much better life can get. It's so intimate like this. You wonder if Jungkook senses the same atmosphere as you do.

Why does it feel like this is a date?

It's the soft blue lights of his Mercedes. The faint smell of lavender lingering in the car. The cold ice cream in your hands and the warmth of your seat. It's the boy sitting right next to you, gazing at you every so often before taking a bite of his frozen yogurt. It's the comfort you feel around him—enough to show up to meet him in your pajamas and no makeup on. It's the trust you put in him to get you back home safely. The obvious fondness the two of you have for each other.

Shit.

You've fallen even harder than before.

Jungmin's in the past now. Memories of him have been buried in the very back of your mind, replaced by recollections and pictures of your new friends and, of course, Jungkook. You'd forgotten Jungmin even existed until big news explodes in your face.

"Did you hear?"

"Holy fuck."

"Jungmin got into Princeton!"

"Bruh, it was early, too. Because of soccer!"

Yejin rolls her eyes. "They're idiots, picking another blithering idiot to join their team."

Five of your friends stare right at you to gauge your reaction, but you shrug. "I don't really give two shits about where he goes to college."

"Nice!" Miru says, smiling kindly as Seokjin slaps your back with a proud grin on his face.

"I just know he won't be going too far in life with that attitude," you say. Your friends all nod in agreement. Well, except one. He's awfully quiet today, actually. But you decide to let it slide for the time being. Maybe Jungkook's having a bad day.

But by the time school ends, everyone knows two things. Son Jungmin got into Princeton and Jeon Jungkook failed to get into Yale.

Jungkook doesn't seem to want to talk about it. When people (rudely) ask, he waves them away with a frown on his face (you've never seen him look so angry and depressed). It doesn't help that people are talking, too. It's Jungkook's worst fear, all coming true. Even when he sees you, his face doesn't relax and he fails to smile. His eyes are wet but he never lets himself spill the tears, opting to look down at his feet the whole day.

You don't understand his pain of losing his chance to go to his dream college, but the least you can do is comfort him.

"Hey..." you say, patting Jungkook's shoulder. He barely glances your way. Shit. It's pretty bad. You've never seen him so unreactive before. "Let's go get some ice cream and hang at your place."

There it is. He looks up, eyes glistening and encompassing all the gratefulness he has to offer. Then, he nods. "I'll drive," he croaks.

Even when he's sad he tries to be considerate. You shake your head. "I'm driving." He doesn't protest after that.

You do your best to drive as smoothly as you can, slowing down at a considerable pace near speed bumps and making round turns to avoid jerking the car. Jungkook follows you into Target, where you pick out four pints of ice creams—all flavors that he loves. You drive back home, meet his mother (who looks just about as depressed as Jungkook is), and drag the poor boy upstairs.

"Sit," you tell him, pointing at his bed before making your way to his mini fridge and pulling out two blue Powerade drinks. "Let's watch something fucking hilarious."

The show for today is Friends, which makes Jungkook's eyes light up but his mouth is always set in a stern line. You lean against him, scooping up ice cream on his plate for him and handing him a spoon.

"I'm okay, you know," he tells you. But the quiver in his voice and his refusal to meet your eyes tells you he's really not.

You pat his leg. "They didn't deserve you, anyways."

Jungkook's eyes flash. He jerks away from you, face flushed and eyebrows lowered dangerously. "Don't you fucking say that!" he yells. "Don't you fucking tell me they didn't deserve me." Tears begin to spill out of his eyes. "You and I both know that's a lie. I didn't get in because I'm not fucking good enough. Even after everything I've done, I'm never enough!"

"Jungkook..." Your voice comes out weaker than you'd imagined. "I-I wasn't lying." You didn't think your words would cause him to lash out like that, but maybe after hearing the same thing for a whole day, he couldn't handle it anymore.

"It's fucking over." He cries, body shaking as he covers his face with his hands. "It's fucking over!"

You don't know what to do. You've never known what to do when people start crying in front of you. Are you supposed to tell them lovely words of affirmation? But what if you say something wrong again? You opt to stay silent, awkwardly patting Jungkook's back.

He instinctively leans in towards you, still sobbing. When you shift to hug him, your head leaning against his shoulder, he cries concerningly louder. You let him cry his feelings out. And when his lament dwindles down to soft hiccups and sniffles, you hold him tighter. He's warm in your arms but his cold tears have also stained your shirt. You don't mind.

"It's not over," you whisper to him. "There are more decisions coming out in a couple of months," you say, rubbing slow circles on his back. "I... I know you wanted to go to Yale, Jungkook... But..." you sigh. "But you said it yourself. Capitalism. College is a business, whatever. Just know that you are good enough. I don't care if the admission officers couldn't see that. I don't even care what the hell you think of yourself. Because sometimes, your perception of yourself is just plain wrong. I... I think you're amazing, Jungkook." You lightly squeeze his arm. "And hey, ten years down the road, none of this will matter. Just look at me and what happened with Jungmin. None of that crap matters to me anymore and it's only been like what? A year?"

Jungkook's sniffles come to a stop and he finally looks up at you. His eyes are red, his nose a little runny and his forehead is covered in beads of sweat. Before you can stop yourself, you reach forward and use the soft pad of your thumb to wipe the last of Jungkook's tears off of his cheeks. He stares at you, the tenseness of his body dissipating as he becomes more relaxed in your arms.

Then:

"I'm sorry," he breathes. "I...I sh-shouldn't have... I shouldn't have yelled at you."

You shake your head. "It's fine. I guess this makes us pretty even, then."

Your comment puts the teeniest smile on Jungkook's face. "Yeah, I guess it does." He pauses for a moment. "Come here," he says, taking you in his own arms and letting you rest your head against his chest. "You're the best, you know that?"

You smile. "I know."

Just like you'd predicted in just a few weeks, Jungkook's back to normal again. College apps are still out of the way, which means you can have as much fun as you want—grades aren't that important anymore.

You and Jungkook check off everything on your bucket list and go beyond what you'd imagined. The two of you manage to ditch school in the middle of the week and drive to the beach, wading into the cool waters and building sandcastles from scratch. By sunset, you're walking along the pier with him, side by side. Now this, this seems like an actual date.

His hair has been gently tousled by the wind, his cheeks sunkissed and glowing in the setting sunlight. His lips are soft and shiny, thanks to his (mild) obsession with vanilla chapstick. When he grins at you, you can see the faint dot under his lower lip—the cute little mole that he's actually insecure about (but you find adorable).

You're so close to him that every so often, your bare shoulder brushes against his. If you move your hand just an inch, you'd even be holding hands. But you swallow the lump in your throat and decide against it. That's weird. Why would you randomly reach for his hand? It seems wrong. Forced.

God, you wish you could tell him that you like him. But no, you can't. What if he doesn't like you back? You don't want to risk making things weird before going off to college. But then again, what if he does like you? Perhaps that's even worse. What are you going to do? You barely applied to the same schools and long-distance isn't something you see yourself doing for anyone. Not even Jeon Jungkook.

And as the weeks pass, your decision remains unwavering. Especially when you and Jungkook commit to your colleges.

You've never thought much about UC Berkeley, but the price is friendlier than any private and as an incoming student in the College of Engineering, you're bound to be taken care of. This also means you're staying in California, which makes your sister very happy. She makes you promise that you'll visit every month—and if you can't make the drive, she'll go for you.

Meanwhile, Jungkook commits to Brown. Not quite the same as Yale, but it's an Ivy and his parents are proud. You're happy for him—just as he's happy for you. Yet all of this really means that you'll be going to college on the opposite ends of the country. It was expected, but the reality of it is daunting. Will the two of you really FaceTime every week like you promised each other? Or will your friendship inevitably die out?

But Jungkook is adamant about spending his last few moments of high school with you.

One day, sprawled out on his pool chair, he turns to you, a glistening grin on his face. "Hey. Wanna go to senior prom with me?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

Yet the prom Jungkook was thinking of is not the traditional senior prom you've dreamed about; he suggests the two of you go to anti-prom—dressing for the occasion but ultimately skipping the actual dance. It's a spectacular idea.

This time you do end up wearing a pretty yellow dress and coincidentally, Jungkook wears a yellow tie. (The odds of matching serendipitously—again?—maybe you are meant to be.) He drags you everywhere across town. First to a mall for refreshments, then to a fancy steakhouse for dinner. Your other friends are nowhere to be found.

At 10 p.m., the two of you make a night drive up a hill, parking at the very top and admiring the view of your sparkling hometown. It's prettier at night, the neon restaurant signs and warm car headlights mixing together to create wonderful blurs of color. Everything about this feels serene. The soft lights of Jungkook's car, the ambiance of the slow dance music he insisted he turned on, the muted aroma of sugary vanilla and fresh lavender...

You turn to Jungkook, heart beating quickly in your chest—only to find out he's been looking at you all along, dark eyes sparkling a little in the moonlight. Ducking your head down in embarrassment, you manage to calm down your quick breaths, tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear and avoiding eye contact with the boy sitting next to you.

God.

You'd pay any sum of money to buy enough courage to confess right here and right now. Or you can do it for free—no regrets. You look up at Jungkook, his soft bangs falling over his eyes and obscuring his expression for just half a second before he sweeps his hair away from his face. He smiles, corners of his pink lips rising as he gazes at you.

Your heart is beating so quickly that you can feel the thumps in your head. Are you actually going to do it? Confess to him? Right now?

It's so romantic.

How could he not feel the same way?

Unless...

No.

You're going to do it.

You're going to get this over with.

Fuck it all to hell.

"Jungkook, I—"

He silences you when his hand grazes over yours. The electricity jolts through your intertwined fingertips. Then, he moves—cautiously—to encompass your whole hand in his. His hand is surprisingly cold. A breath of fresh air in the inexplicable fire building up inside of you.

"Your hand is so sweaty," he laughs, squeezing your intertwined hands together.

Your face burns.

"I don't mind," he says.

Your body feels like it's been engulfed in flames.

And there you are, sitting in his warm car like two yellow blooming flowers, reaching out for each other in the darkness. It can't get better than this.

I'm going to tell him, you vow. I have to tell him.

I'll tell him at graduation.

Most students feel giddy during graduation. Others feel nervous—graduating means that they're finally moving on in life, going to college, accomplishing bigger things and leaving the safe nests of their homes. You fall in the latter group; however, for totally different reasons. You're nervous about Jungkook's reaction.

No number of pep talks and self-assurance can change how you feel. You're terrified.

What if he doesn't like you back? What if he thinks you ruined your friendship with him?

Even after you receive your diploma and bouquets of flowers from your sister, you feel queasy inside. And nothing's going to fix that until you finally get the words out.

What's he going to do, anyways? You're going to different colleges on the opposite ends of the country, so if he completely turns you down, you won't be totally humiliated for the rest of your life. Besides, you're not exactly asking him out. You're just going to tell him that you like him. What he does with that information isn't up to you.

You're just trying to get this off your chest.

"Hey!"

Speak of the devil.

Jungkook rushes up towards you, his honorary medals and cords clinking together as he makes his way through the crowds of students and parents and teachers—his eyes only for you.

"Hey," you say, smiling as Jungkook ruffles your hair like he always does. He's holding a large bouquet of daffodils in his hand, and you can't help but notice how well the color yellow suits him.

"College now, huh?" he says, grinning.

"Imagine going to an Ivy," you snort, nudging the boy.

He rolls his eyes. "And you're going to the best UC. But don't let the UCLA brats hear me say that. They'll run me over or something."

You giggle at his joke, hands already clammy for what's to come.

Jungkook plucks a single daffodil from his bouquet, reaching out to hand it to you. You take it with flushing cheeks.

A pause.

Then:

"We better keep in contact." "I like you, Jungkook."

The two of you say at the exact same time.

You want to facepalm. The worst timing ever!

Jungkook's face scrunches in confusion. "Wait, sorry, what did you say?"

Your ears burn. "I like you." Your fingers anxiously tangle around the stem of the daffodil Jungkook had just given you.

He's stunned into silence. Eyes wide, mouth slightly agape, body frozen.

You watch him, embarrassment tinging your face. Why isn't he saying anything? Doing anything? Is he so disgusted by the idea of you having feelings for him that he doesn't even want to see you again?

Slowly, you begin to step away from him. Each step you take severs your heart more and more.

"Y/N."

You freeze.

When you look up at his face, you see Jungkook, obviously distressed, running his fingers through his hair and eyebrows deeply furrowed. "You can't do this to me," he says, massaging his forehead.

"I-I can't?"

"Yes!" He throws his hands in the air, eyes wide and chest heaving up and down.

"I-I just had to get it out," you say. "Don't think too much into it. I'm just... Yeah, you probably don't even feel the sa—"

"I do!" he shouts. "Oh my god, Y/N, ever since the Lit project junior year!"

Your face is stricken with horror.

You haven't talked to Jeon Jungkook in four years.

The promise of FaceTiming each other every week doesn't last a single day after graduation. In fact, you've lost all contact ever since the day both of you'd confessed. Maybe it's because you were so angry that you'd missed your chance that you never called or texted. And maybe he thought you were just joking and playing with his feelings. You'll never really know.

You hate to think about it, but he could've been your high school sweetheart. That is, if he had confessed earlier and you hadn't confessed so late. Now here you are in life with a normal job, a chemical engineering degree and a vacant love story.

Sometimes, I wonder what could've happened if I dated him in high school, you scribble across your diary. It's old now, tattering on the edges and heavy from polaroid photos from college and special receipts you've saved over the years. But you love it all the same. Would we be married by now?

That's stupid. A very stupid thought.

No. He probably moved on. Like I should've.

You sigh, signing off your diary entry before closing the notebook.

It's a brisk morning today—people are bustling about the busy street and you feel almost out of place relaxing outdoors at a nice cafe. But today's your off-day. Tomorrow, you'll be back at work, slaving away as most adults do in their mid-twenties.

Your cup of steaming hot coffee sits by your side. It's really there for the aesthetic. Even as an adult, you prefer strawberry Fanta and fountain drinks. Maybe you're still a teenager at heart. You smile, thoughts lazily drifting off as you drum your fingers against the metal table.

"Ahem."

Someone must've caught a cold in this chilly autumn weather.

"Ahem, ahem."

Okay, but seriously? Right behind you?

You turn around, ready to give a scary look to whoever was clearing their throat aggressively behind you when you see him.

It's really him.

Your eyes widen.

God.

He looks good.

That's all you can register in your head. He's grown even taller, his face muscles more defined and baby cheeks gone. The only thing that remains just as you've remembered him is his eyes—soft, wide and sparkling with curiosity.

You slowly rise from your seat.

He grins at you. Stares you right in your eyes and grins. "Hey, old friend."

There are so many things to say. So many unspoken words you've wanted to tell him in the past. So many thoughts left unsaid. So many memories to recall, to relive. But the only word that comes out of you is, "Friend?"

God.

You don't know why you said that.

Jungkook shakes his head. "I'm just joking, Y/N." His grin splits wider. "Coincidence, though, right? After all these years..."

He looks absolutely beautiful.

"I'm... I'm sorry I never contacted you," you sputter out. "You know, after... yeah."

Jungkook smiles. You can see the hint of his mole under his lip. "No hard feelings," he says. "We can tell each other our excuses over dinner."

Dinner? Your eyes widen.

"What do you say I take you on a date?"

Jungkook is your high school sweetheart. Although the two of you began your relationship way past high school, in your mind, it still counts. With earnest hearts and the purest of souls, you and Jungkook embody the beating hearts of young love and the stagnancy of patience.

Legs sprawled across Jungkook's lap, you lean your elbow against the couch and write on the very last page of your diary. It's time to say goodbye to your teenage angst after this. Time to move on with your boyfriend.

"Whatcha writing?" Jungkook asks, trying to look over your shoulder.

You giggle, sitting up with your diary in your hands. "Just something."

"Just something?" Jungkook laughs, tugging you up closer to his chest. "Is it about me?" he asks, kissing the crevice of your neck before attacking you with soft pecks across your cheek.

"Maybe!"

The two of you hold each other close, relishing in the feeling, the presence of each other. Your diary lies open next to you, left nearly forgotten. But there, on the last open page, you've written in big, loopy letters:

And now I know that the best kind of relationships blossoms from the best kind of friendships.

—masterpost

—masterlist

[etherealeeknow]

toxic

• rated m for mature, slight angst

• pairing: boyfriend!jisung x fem!reader

• wc: 1.434

• tw: toxic relationship, explicit language, mild rope play, fingering (f), oral (m&f)- i think that’s all, please do tell me if you find more c:

• note: inspired by true events, heh. this isn’t proofread so i’m sorry for any mistakes! i’ll get to it soon! and although i have mixed feelings about this fic, i hope you’ll enjoy it ;-; also, please kindly note that english isn’t my first language. therefore, i apologize for any mistakes. (psst, don’t be shy to drop by my ask!)

• song recommendation: bitter love - pia mia

—

your deep slumber was interrupted by jumbled sounds; they weren’t necessarily too loud, but the continuous groans that followed behind added them up, and you had to force your heavy eyelids to open while mumbling incoherent words that grabbed jisung’s attention. cursing under his breath, he instantly locked his phone, all the noises vanished in just a matter of seconds. “i’m sorry. i should’ve used my earphones,” he said as he laid down beside you, pulling the covers up to your chin and wrapped his arms around you, closing the distance. “you always say that then repeat the exact same thing the next day,” you sighed in annoyance and shimmied your way out of his embrace to turn your back against him. you could picture the bitter expression on his face when he wrapped his arms around you again and apologized for the second time, only to be replied with complete silence. 

it was undeniable that you got mad over such a small silly matter, but you couldn’t help it. jisung had always been like this—careless. time after time, you’d question him the same thing, which was whether or not his feelings for you were real. meanwhile, it was more or less the same on the other side. jisung just couldn’t wrap his head around how and where you got your energy to stay mad at him 24/7. everything he did seemed to be a crime to you, and it made him cuss at those teenage romcom movies, calling them a scam. despite all the cons and infinite bickers, none of you had ever called it quits.

this is toxic. i should end it.

“baby, look-” you didn’t let him finish the sentence and told him to shut up instead—that was when he withdrew his hand and let out a long sigh, then nothing. turning back, you saw him on his phone again and it made your blood boil so you snatched it away. “what the hell-” “no. it’s you,” you emphasized loud and clear, index finger poking his chest, “what the hell, jisung?” you added, still repeating the same gesture and you could see his expression growing more and more annoyed with each poke, but that didn’t stop you, even after he warned you. “what the fuck do you want? i told you i’m sorry!” scoffing, you ignored him and was about to get off bed when he clutched your hand and pinned you down on the mattress. “answer me, y/n. what the fuck do you want?” he hissed and it made you gulp; feeling small yet your anger was bigger. “fuck off.”

jisung laughed almost sinisterly with his head thrown back, and you trembled underneath him, both over anxiety and excitement as this was a side of him you had never encountered before. “sit,” he ordered as he undressed himself, letting his hardened cock bounced up, slapping against his abs before making his way up to you, resting right below your chest. the close up view of his pink, slightly covered with precum, tip made your eyes glistening. “suck.” like a trained puppy, you obeyed immediately—taking him whole and his mouth agape. although voiceless, pleasure was written all across his face.

your boy liked it slow; it made him feral. he lived for the feeling of having your pretty little plump lips around him; the way you could take him with ease wowed him, and he never got tired of seeing your pathetic state, especially out in public when you could barely open your mouth for days without whimpering in pain. just by imagining it made him shudder and close to release, but he didn’t want that, not yet. “s- stop- ah, fuck!” he yanked you by the hair, but that only made you go for more. you snuck your tongue out to lick his tip, sucking it, making him growl and curse before pushing you back down to the bed. “don’t you fucking move.”

he went to reach for something under the bed—a box which you never knew its existence until then. he opened it, revealing all sorts of his bizarre toy collection. you were taken aback by the surprise and got so immersed in them. jisung took the golden chance to tie your hands with a rope to the headboard. it was only until he let go and your hands got caught up above, that you snapped back in reality, yet still dazzled. this wasn’t the jisung you knew. sure, six months of being and living together couldn’t be considered as a long period, but you and jisung had fucked and talked about sex every single day, almost like it was your daily vitamin, yet such thing never came up.

another sinister laugh left his mouth upon seeing your terrorized expression. “what’s with the face, hmm?” he asked ever so sweetly, caressing your cheek, down to your neck, then to your pajamas, running his fingers up and down the little buttons before ripping them off, buttons scattered everywhere. so long, favorite pjs. your gasp only made it halfway as jisung was quick to smother himself with your bare breasts, sniffing, biting, kissing, licking, pinching, squeezing, marking, literally any possible thing he could do, he did, while you loved and whimpered over it.

you didn’t even have to beg. just your endless heavenly oh’s and ah’s were enough to get jisung down and pulled off your shorts and panties altogether. only taking a brief moment to enjoy the view of your freshly shaved cunt before diving in, and your breath hitched the moment his tongue met your pulsating core. you started grinding against his face, dying for more, and jisung understood, so he slipped in his finger, but that still wasn’t enough. “for fuck sake, ji, just fuck me already!” you cried desperately, not minding the burning pain on your wrists from pulling on the rope harshly.

but jisung didn’t give a damn. you already had a bigger control in the relationship and there was no way he was gonna let you take the lead in sex too. this was the only pride he had left, so he continued, thrusting in another finger easily into your hole, curling them to reach your sweet spot. your breathy moaned drove him over the edge and he just couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to release. jisung’s tongue left your nub and you nearly cried over the loss of contact, but it was all worth it when you saw him wrapping his other free hand onto his own throbbing cock, pumping it with all his might while still fingering you in ease. every inch of your body grew hotter over the sight, but no matter how hard you tried to keep your eyes open, the building knot in your abdomen kept causing your eyes to roll back. “so good, j- ji, shit! i’m cum-” 

you were unable to finish your sentence, but jisung knew. he could tell from your shaking legs and quickened breaths. “yes, yes, cum for me, baby, cum,” jisung choked out, nearing his own high, and right there and then, you came undone all over his fingers and on the bed, staining the white sheets with your juices. through his squinting eyes, jisung made sure to capture your expression—how pretty you looked with parted lips, rosy cheeks, and crossed eyes. he even slowed his thrust to prevent himself from coming; waiting for your bucking hips to came to a halt before he hurriedly approached you and jerked off right in front of your face, biting his lower lip when he saw you sticking your tongue out just on time when he ejaculated. 

//

“i’m sorry. i love you, y/n,” jisung uttered, lying on your lap.

“i’m sorry too. i love you, jisung,” you replied, caressing his head.

it was undeniable that you often got mad over small silly matters, but you could still bear with it, although sometimes you’d question whether or not he paid attention to the things you said, but that was it. besides, it was normal for jisung to get lost in his own world. meanwhile, it was more or less the same on the other side. jisung found it a little difficult to understand your moodiness, especially since most of the things he did seemed to annoy you, yet he found your relationship just like how it was in those teenage romcom movies—youthful. so, despite some differences and bickers here and there, none of you had ever called it quits.

this is love. i should fight for it.

right?

—

gen’s masterlist

[nightcoremoon]

I just realized that none of the female characters in dark souls are sexualized

anastacia's a priestess in a full cloak

rhea's a priestess in a full cloak

the undead merchant is just a normal lady who really likes moss

the butchers are just big ladies who chop meat and trespassers

mildred runs around the toxic swamp in a loincloth, sure, but with a bag over her head and a giant fuckhuge axe

quelana is a flame wizard in a full cloak

quelaag is naked yeah but she's also a fucking hideous spider monster with a huge ass fire sword and it's not like she's being sexy or anything she's just like, yo get the fuck out of my city and leave my sister alone or I'll fucking kill you

her sister is naked yeah but she's also a fucking hideous spider monster surrounded by a billion curse rotted eggs

alvina is... literally a cat

beatrice is a witch in a full cloak

the darkmoon knightess is a warrior in full armor

the balder darkmoon knight is probably a girl and the armor is a crop top and booty shorts but every single other balder knight dresses exactly the same way

gwynevere has big bazongas but her manner is more maternal and/or benevolent older sistery than sexy, plus miyazaki had her designed to be flat chested and kept getting mad at all of the games artists for making her amazing chest ahead even bigger despite him saying bro stop it, PLUS that's not even the real gwynevere because that's an illusion created by gwyndolin who may I point out is her older brother

gwyndolin is a boy who was raised as a girl because of his affinity for moon magic and I'm just assuming this is a localization thing so even though he has bigger tits by ratio than gwynevere he does not belong on this list no matter how many gross transfetishist men say so

priscilla is a dragon monster just minding her own business inside her painting, in a full fur coat that might actually be her scaled but idk

sieglinde's a warrior in full armor

dusk is a princess in a full cloak

elizabeth is literally a mushroom

ciaran is a warrior in full armor

the fire keepers wear full cloaks

shanalotte wears a full cloak

shalquoir is literally a cat

melentia is just a nomadic merchant

licia is a fucking cunt priestess in a full cloak

lucatiel is a knight in full armor

rosabeth wears whatever the fuck you give her

chloanne wears a dress with cleavage wow gasp I can't believe a wimminz would dare to have mammary glands

ornifex... okay admittedly she has a thick juicy ass but she's also a weird harpy demon thing

nashandra is a normal queen in a dress terrifying scythe wielding demon monster

the milfanitos (yes that is what they are called) are just perfectly normal humans in dresses

elana is another terrifying scythe wielding demon monster

alsanna wears a full normal dress

bellclaire, felicia, melinda, roenna, the dozen other female NPC phantoms not on the wiki, as far as I can remember they're all just ladies in armor with big weapons

the maiden in black, the hunter's doll, the fire keeper, anri, lady maria, nothing I can think of is even remotely on the side of explicitly sexualized

except maybe for the desert sorceresses but I can hardly blame miyazaki for anything in ds2 now can I?

honestly the most sexual thing in any of the souls games is the pisacas since they're literally just giant blue vagina-shaped blob monsters, the chaos eaters who literally vore you, aldrich voring gwyndolin, MiB's dirty feet, all the weird gross totally not sexual things that the internet has ruined in the past 20 years.

well and the dancer of the boreal valley but I mean that hardly counts, she's like the fuckin beldam from coraline but with giant swords. just because she's got cake doesn't mean it's unwholesome.

I've been playing so many souls games that I kind of forgot just how creepy and male gazey everything in the video game industry is. just look at kerrigan's ass, miranda's ass, tracer's ass, quiet's square inch of covered skin "for plot reasons", 2B's ass, there's just ass ass ass fucking everywhere. I mean I like hot girl ass, who doesn't? but holy shit can we have some more respect for the girls themselves and love them as humans with drive, desire, ambition, agency, and assets that don't have anything to do with what body parts they have? I know my boy hidetaka has shown that it's very possible.

[archvillain]

Low hanging fruit! Low hanging fruit! Mayuri Kurotsuchi, Vexen Kingdomhearts and/or Fray FFXIV 👀

let's GET those fruits... with bonus fray! this is a long one haha

mayuri kurotsuchi is like crack cocaine to me

they are so cool looking!: i think this opinion is generally shared by mayuri likers everywhere. this guy is so fashion

everyone but me is wrong about them <3: reading mayuri fic is like drinking toxic slutch. i get irrationally angry when people make him a shrinking violet... there's a lot of weird takes in the world about this guy! the amount of fix-it-fic like "mayuri is a good father and cares about things" is enough to blow your liver clean out of your body... but even the more "on-canon" interps can be out of left field for me. it's like we're all taking different 5-second clips of this guy to expand on. never rp your blorbos, it makes it personal

wasted potential: i think mayuri would've been an excellent continuing villain. he's got his most punch right in the start, and then as he becomes the clown king of kubo's dreams, his edge softens up. i packbonded with him INSTANTLY when he just pulled a wallet-sized pic of this dude's DEAD GRANDPA out... like he just keeps that shit ON him like CONDOMS!!!

they're like a blorbo to me/im mentally ill about them: :0)

i like them enough to project my own issues onto them: TRANS MAYURI TRANS MAYURI TRANS MAYURI. what could be more trans than painting yourself head to toe in drag and having marilyn manson in a little red dress as your theme song

wow! they are a horrible person: this is such a non-take that i forgot to include it the first time and had to edit it back in -_-

didnt get enough screen time: this is a problem for me and me alone but i started watching bleach FOR mayuri at some point and boy was i disappointed when he stopped showing up. and like no interactions with kisuke after it's revealed they knew each other... for shame

they've never done anything wrong in their life <33: mayuri has never done an action i would not GO TO COURT to defend. permissible action only here, boys. this one's certifiable. jokes aside, i feel like even his scenery chewing is exciting and warranted... never did i ever go "damn this bitch annoying, get off the screen" im obsessed.

vexen is kind of a complicated one for me but i love him dearly

everyone but me is wrong about them/nothing i like about them is technically canon/they are a horrible person: SINCE i have been a vexen stan since i was a fucking baby, what he means to me is a little all over the place... times were different when chain of memories was the only canon data. i had interpreted him as this kind of researcher who had gone to the edge & beyond, risking the lives of everyone around him as he and his fellow researchers INTENTIONALLY took their own lives for the sake of the darkness machine by throwing themselves into it. this was a bomb ass interp! this was how the research logs of COM/1 made it sound!! i was obsessed!!!!... this was before ddd & 3 revealed Other Things To Be True. :/ honestly, i prefer the original interp. i think it makes him way more interesting than what he is in canon: a flaky masterless coward who believes strongly in almost nothing but his work, and even then, can you really say you believe in your work THAT strongly if you have to be forced to throw your heart away???

wasted potential/didn't get enough screen time: see above! SEE ABOVE! but also, i just think most of the org has wasted potential. i go between "let them die" and "give them their own stories" on the daily

they're like a blorbo to me: squeakietoywheeze.mp3 in spite of all that i still love him, i want to brush his hair like a my little pony doll

they got done DIRTY by fans: you could not pay me to read vexen fic <- this is a lie, i read omegaverse vexen fic to my loving husband on the regular. but forreal, interps of vexen range from chucklefucks going "let him die in a fire for the sin of being ugly" to the wildest shit on this green earth. i know he's kind of a blank slate as far as characterization goes but BLEASE

if they were real i would marry them/im mentally ill about them/i want to carry them in a handbag like a tiny dog: AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH let fray propose to me in game let me marry him im going to KISS that CORPSE im fishing him out of the river to put him in a wedding dress!!!!!

they work better as part of a dynamic: wol/fray MAKES IT. AUGH. fray by himself is wonderful, but fray as a snark machine sexy ghost is (chef's kiss)

they've never done anything wrong in their life: the murders were justified, actually!

i don't really have much to say about them: it's pure love no hot takes for me. i love this guy. i haven't finished his story yet, also! which makes it hard to have srs opinions