#shl is so stupid

[fauvester]

honestly congratulations to mingling for being the ship ever

[mvsicinthedvrk]

dinos !! sha hualing & shen qingqiu // @tragcdysewn​

Sha Hualing waves cheerily down at the cultivator from her place on the giant creature’s back. A t-rex, someone on the street called it. She’s so lightweight that it’s seemed not to notice that she’d even clamored over its tail and up its spine. “Shen Qingqiu! Have you met my new ally?”

[shaguagua]

in Episode 12, there are so many idioms and quotes for about 4 minutes. Where Wen kexing explains the 容炫(rong xuan)'s story. It is too long to cover all the 成語s (idioms) so 余概摒棄 (I give up). Here 摒棄 was also used as meaning of giving up.

來龍去脈

The whole story; from where to what 自初至終

名不見經傳

Don't see the name on the old books; 듣보잡, 경전에 이름이 보이지 않다, 지명도가 낮다

奇談妙論

Stranger things story; 기이하고 이상한 이야기

摒棄私心

give up the personal intentions; 사심을버리다

前無古人

No one has been like that; 여태 그런 사람은 없었다

不知天高地厚

Doesn't know the world at all; 세상을 모르다 분별없이 우쭐대다

一潭死水

a pond full of water; stagnant, 못에 가득 고인 물

越陷越深

Falling deeper and deeper; 더 깊은 곳으로 빠지다

無所不用其極

By hook or by crook; 수단과 방법을 가리지 않다

或巧取 或毫奪 或坑蒙拐騙

Entrapping, plunder surreptitiously! 함정에 빠뜨리다 몰래 빼았다

老鼠過街 人人喊打

When a old mouse crossing the street everyone shouts to kill it; people hates a person who causes the problems. 쥐가 길을 건너면 사람마다 때려잡으라고 소리친다; 해를 끼치는 사람은 누구나 미워한다.

對牛彈琴

To sing psalms to a dead horse; preaching to deaf ears, 소귀에 경읽기

[sukisukidaisuki66]

Damn it I’m so fucking nervous

[circus-complex]

shen jiu + shen yuan swap au idea

ok so an AU when shen yuan is the original owner of shen jiu's body, and shen jiu is the og owner of shen yuan's body.

shen yuan went through everything shen jiu did, but instead of taking on a "I went through something horrible, and since you are similar to me i'll make you feel the same" view for luo binghe, he takes on a "I went through something horrible, and since you are similar i'll make sure you never feel this way"

this makes luo binghe develop a crush on him a bit earlier, and luo binghe is generally more stable. sqq is known for being kind, forgiving, and generous. he treats all his disciples well, and equally. he has a good relationship with most, if not all, the peak lords.

shen jiu reads PIDW, but unlike sy who fawned over lbh, he hates him. hates him with every fiber of his being. he isn't even sure why, lbh just pisses him off in every way. most of the characters do, actually. only nyy is good! lbh should of ended up with her, or shl, or any of the girls! he would of loved it if lbh built a harem up! but no. he ended up with his stupid teacher. and yqy - he likes him.

i have two ways to take this idea

Option A: so when sj transmigrates, everyone is confused, but in a new way. his complements, which used to be kind, now have a slight edge to them. he treats lbh with such hatred, he develops a grudge with lqg, he favors mf and nyy (mostly nyy). and once he unfreezes the OOC feature OH BOY! in the og book sqq would protect lbh when the ridge opens, but lbh falls anyway, and sqq mourns him for five years. this time however, sj pushes lbh in himself.

naturally, lbh has no clue whats going on. at first, he thought sqq just was in a bad mood bc of his fever, but then it started to seem personal. sqq would beat him, verbally and physically. what happened? so lbh goes down this other path, one where he blames himself for everything and works his ass of to please sj, possibly dying in the process. if he doesn't, he's just miserable and has unintentionally become sj's unstable minion, doing everything he can to please him but always failing. in the end, lbh kills himself and sj after he's driven to a qi deviation

Option B: same thing as option a, only sj plays the role of sqq MUCH better. he is kind, but is secretly planning to take lbh down. he follows the course of the book, winning lbh's favour, unfreezes the OOC function, and slowly becomes a little meaner. but he molds lbh to be his. in a cruel, twisted, jealous, slightly romantic way. he molds him to follow his every order. molds him to the perfect for his plans. molds him to hate his sect, but love sj. helps him uncover his demonic heritage under the mask of wanting his disciple to be true to himself and discover his full potential!, but secretly wanting to use it to his advantage. and he does.

he succeeds, taking down most of cang qiong, leaving only him, lbh, nyy, yqy, and sqh. he left nyy and yqy because he adored them in his past life, and sqh because he wants to torture him for all eternity for making that book (sucks tho bc sqh has mbj on his side so he can't do anything till he gets lbh to take mbj down). so yea. sj is just pulling lbh's strings behind the scenes, even going so far as too get married and do everything with him if it gains him another advantage. he's extremely emotionally manipulative, and he's smart enough to be subtle about it so no one will notice. and it kinda just ends with lbh being his puppet. lbh may be the head of the world, but sj is the neck turning his different ways. and so yea super toxic yaoi

[tei0101]

i have a moshang hc that mobei-jun stayed in friendzone lane for a good amount of time (years!!!) because my boi sqh is dense as fuck.

(sqq: he must've drunk a gallon of anesthesia for him not to feel anything *non verbatim*)

after the unforgettable noodle episode, the two slowly fell into domesticity without them realizing. it used to be airplane bro serving his great king, but then one day, he just woke up with freshly made buns on the table and an ice king wearing an apron ?!?!?! like hold tf, sqh's straight ass couldn't process it at all, so he brushed it off. must've been a buf in the system, he thinks.

mobei would bring sqh to explore other parts of the northern kingdom. show him exotic creatures from his own land. every demon in the north knows that the little guy next to their king is untouchable, not since mbj cut the last demon in half when he tried to stare at sqh.

basically, everyone knows who sqh is to mbj except sqh himself. sqq was too lazy to meddle with his airplane bro's affairs. shl never cared, and actually annoyed at how stupid they are becoming. the demons are too afraid to say anything so it takes sqh five fucking years to realize, heeey i think my ice king is acting a bit weird these days.

and how did the dday go? mbj came to his chamber late at night and was massive drunk. sqh was sleeping on his bed, waking up from the sound. drunk mbj is not clingy. drunk mbj doesn't make a lot of noise. but drunk mbj's eyes are watery. his cheeks are red. such a contrast from his blues.

when sqh saw his state, he panicked instantly. wtf is going on ?!?!?!

mbj: i made dumplings for you. made the skin thin this time. you can eat them in the morning when you wake up. do you understand?

this was by far the longest sentece mbj had said to sqh. airplane bro was still hazy from waking up. he just stared blankly at mbj sitting on the floor, at the edge of his bed.

sqh: my king...did you fight a bunch of demons again?

mbj: mn. *but shakes his head*

sqh: ??? 

mbj: you were angry at me yesterday.

sqh: i was??!?!

mbj: you let go of my hand the moment you saw lbh and sqq

sqh: i did?!!?!

mbj: en.

sqh: but i didn’t want people to misunderstand us!

mbj: but i want to....

sqh: .......................................................................... eh!? eh?!?! eeeeh?!!

so yeah, basically they just let people misunderstand them according to his great king’s wishes and next thing sqh knows, he was wearing the traditional wedding garment of the northern kingdom with mbj at his side.

[moondal514]

So! I’ve made a fic rec list of what’s fast becoming my fave type of SHL!WenZhou fic, which I don’t really know what to call but they’re like. Fics that deep dive the WenZhou traumatized brain juices with bonus orgasms? Or something?

Idk but these fics all fit together in my mind as the same genre for whatever reason and I love them.

Please mind the tags of each fic cuz some of them are quite dark and heavy

Let Me Love You by hansbekhart/ @hansbekhart

It had been so easy to imagine, because Wen Kexing has spent a lot of time steeped in his own fantasies: spending his days growing things with his own hands, assembling them into things that would nurture bodies instead of break them. Maybe A-Xiang and her stupid xiao-Cao would join them. Maybe he would be happy forever, here with A-Xu, their hair growing white together. It seemed so simple: all both of them had to do was stay.

Could one return to paradise, after doing such things? Was it really possible to stay?

Zhou Zishu seemed to think so. His hands were as bloody as Wen Kexing’s and yet here he was, in his soft rumpled clothes, his soft rumpled hair, lazing around before meals as if it was only his right that they be served to him. This land, where the flowers bloomed in all four seasons, had happily welcomed the cruel leader of Tian Chuang back into itself. This idiot didn’t even know where the key to all his money was, and yet he was still ready to hand it all over to Wen Kexing to do as he liked.

Wen Kexing watches Zhou Zishu fuss around, and thinks of saying, where I come from, they don’t really call me Philanthropist Wen, you know.

Local killer struggles with the prospect that he could happily retire (and also PTSD but you know)

this love like an exit wound by ripeteeth/ @ripeteeth

Any way you want your pleasure, he thinks, take it from me.

“Lao Wen,” he hears, from somewhere far above him. “Let me in.”

Sometimes you gotta have unhinged marathon sex to celebrate the fact that you and the love of your life aren’t dead

go the hard way with me by Anonymous

The first time, they were in Yueyang.

Wen Kexing had passed the day spending Zhou Zishu's money, flitting from bauble to bauble in the marketplace, coveting this, tasting that, smiling at him through honey-stained lips and asking with that coy look in his eyes,

"Would you begrudge me this small joy, A-Xu? Wouldn't you rather see me happy?"

Happy. What did Zhou Zishu know about that? Happiness was not something to be bought or sold. Happiness wasn't a painted scroll. It wasn't something to be captured by ink on paper in a beautiful word, a burst of color.

But perhaps it could be something fleeting and melodious. The clear trill of a xiao under moonlight, sweet as rainwater on new spring leaves. Or perhaps it was the wrecked sounds that issued from Wen Kexing's mouth when Zhou Zishu fucked him that night.

—

Five times Zhou Zishu makes Wen Kexing cry during sex.

Absolutely gut-wrenching

the belly of it by astronicht/ @astronicht

A soft black evening in a Jiangnan inn; they are drinking, and hesitating.

Or, Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing fail to discuss sadism, and do not quite have sex, on a technicality.

Unreliable narrator!Zhou Zishu my beloved

Hands Fit For Holding by Vorvayne/ @vorvayne

dis·so·ci·ate | \ (ˌ)di-ˈsō-shē-ˌāt, -sē- \

transitive verb: to separate from association or union with another. Latin dissociatus, past participle of dissociare, from dis- + sociare to join, from socius: companion

-

Zhou Zishu is poisoned. Wen Kexing will do whatever he has to.

The emotions this fic made me feel…indescribable

our restless shadows by northofallmusic/ @northofallmusic

Two attempts at being together, and everything that happens in between.

Or:

Wen Kexing is not Zhen Yan any more. That boy is dead.

One of THE Wen Kexing character studies of all time

[seru-doesthings]

SVSSS established Liujiu (BE), yan!yqy, attic wife sqq

Wherein liujiu are happy, but they keep it between themselves. Outwardly, any rumours of sqq being a lecher had mysteriously gone to dust, but their rivalry still shone, and they thought they had the world in their hands when the sect turned in for the night.

Sqq had never felt lighter in his life—he didn't know his heart could flutter in his chest with something other than dread, other than fear.

But now he did—with the man he least expected to.

They were happy, though. That was all that mattered. Sqq had met with lqg's family on one of their many long missions (excuses to spend time with each other truly—obviously they settled the matter at hand first! But afterwards? It was their free time.), and they had accepted him with open arms, and even agreed to keep their relationship a secret.

They had also promised to hold a small wedding for them, whenever they felt ready.

Sqq had never... thought he'd be able to settle down. He thought he would always be the unwanted slave little nine, first abandoned by his mother then abandoned by the boy he called 'qi-ge'.

No. Qi-ge had died. What was left of him was a husk that only knew to repeat its apologies, like a broken puppet cursed to repeat the same thing again and again.

Lqg and sqq were happy, keeping a farce in front of their martial siblings but having the whole world in their hands behind closed doors.

They were happy, until they weren't.

Lqg died. He died because of a qi deviation in the lingxi caves. He died because sqq failed to save him—too late, too weak, too stupid—lqg had a moment of soberness wherein instead of trying to save himself, he told sqq "I love you, sj" before he stabbed cheng luan straight through his heart, pinning himself against the wall of the cave.

Then he lost all life, all vigour, and hung there like a lifeless doll.

sqq cried, sobbed and screamed at the corpse, he tore cheng luan away from its master, cradling lqg close to himself like he was still alive.

He muttered to lqg as he tried to fill the empty husk with qi, there was no response.

But he didn't care—lqg said he'd be with him forever; he promised.

Sqq was tired of broken promises.

After what felt like a lifetime, sqq stared dully at his lover's dead body. He was bloody, but still handsome even in death. Sqq's heart squeezed. Why wasn't it him...?

And so sqq, after many moments of deliberation, finally hauled the war god's body out of the lingxi caves.

He exited to chaos; the sect was nearly in tatters, disciples were running amok, trying their damnest to fight the demon invasion.

All throughout, sqq carried lqg's body with him. He slaughtered many of shl's entourage, looking less like the scholarly god he tried to dress up as and more like the god of death, a corpse in his hands not the only thing giving such an impression.

After the demons were successfully driven out by sqq's mindless slaughter alone, the other peak lords flooded in, and so did yqy, who rushed from a meeting with the other sects at an emergency talisman sent.

So begun the screeching, the accusations thrown at sqq as he held tight onto lqg's corpse. There was tugging, somebody, multiple somebodies really, were tugging at lqg's corpse. Like a desperate beggar he was, sqq held on tight, he refused to let go of lqg, his soulmate.

Alas, there was only so much a man standing on the tethers of his qi could do, and lqg was snatched from him. He felt colder now, because the reality was finally really setting in; lqg was gone. Dead.

He broke his promise.

During the procession of lqg's funeral, sqq was denied entry to the qiong ding halls, where they held funeral rites, and any intra sect matters.

Sqq wasn't even allowed to see off his lover. His heart squeezed uncomfortably, his hands going numb. He was truly alone.

Sqq kneeled at the courtyard of qiong ding halls, then shoved aside by the funeral undertaking. He couldn't even see the coffin, for it was raining harshly and his eyes were blurred.

It was the rain, he consoled himself. He didn't bother trying to look up anymore.

The rain didn't let up long after the undertaking, long after the sun had set. Sqq didn't let up either. He still kneeled on the hard tiles, soaked to the bone.

He didn't know when, nor how, but before he could register anything outside of his sluggish mind, sqq was seated on a bed, still soaked to the bone but with an unfamiliar black robe enshrouding him. It was warm, but the warmth only ever made it to the surface of his skin—it didn't warm the chill rattling his very core.

It had long been chilled since he left the lingxi caves.

Someone was speaking to him, but sqq couldn't pull himself away from the inky tendrils of his mind. It was dogging at him; telling him if he was faster, if he was more knowledgeable, if he was stronger—if it had been him instead—maybe. Maybe his chest wouldn't hurt so.

But it hurt. It hurt at how it was nothing but a gaping maw where he could reach into and feel nothing but empty air.

One thing lead to another and sqq couldn't help but only silently question where he was in the back of his mind as he sipped at a tea cup handed to him.

He had a feeling in the back of his mind that something was wrong, that he shouldn't be in such an unfamiliar place—his place didn't smell of scandalwood, it smelled of morning dew and bamboo.

Lqg's place smelled like the iron steel of his sword, of his armoury in his own private rooms.

Lqg hated the strong smell of scandalwood, and hated even more so the smell of any perfumes so sqq would make sure to change after he visited the brothel jiejies.

This... this wasn't his place clearly, and it wasn't lqg's either—he hated scandalwood; he'd said once it made his nose itch badly.

So who...?

It was difficult to think of anything outside of his own mind. He was getting apprehensive; the last time anything like this had happened, he was in that hellhole—

—the Qiu household.

qjl had wanted to try something different with xiao jiu, and well. It was terrifying. He didn't want to dwell on it—loathed to and by now if lqg had been around, he would be in lqg's arms.

If lqg was around.

He wasn't, not anymore.

And it was sqq's fault.

Time flew by and still sqq was trapped in his own mind. He couldn't think any further than dwell on his memories of lqg, and sometimes wonder about his disciples.

How long had it been? He couldn't count the days and couldn't tell time.

What was mf up to? was nyy alright? She best not be causing mayhem at his peak. Was lbh still the pathetic little beast or did he finally grow out of it? How was gmx's progress in her fan dance? He had told his little disciple he'd help her with it ages ago. Before his retreat.

... How was yqy?

Sqq's eyes were tired—it had nothing to do with his captor (captor, because he was still unsure as to his motives. he didn't hold sqq inappropriately in the times he was bathed and dressed in robes too big and smelled heavily of scandalwood) pressing at his acupoint as he usually would before sqq would lose consciousness into a dreamless slumber.

sqq's eyes were tired from looking down, and as his senses dully registered his captor's presence yet again, he willed his eyes to glance up.

...yqy?

The thick brows settled over a pair of eyes were unmistakable, despite his sluggish processing. The amiable statuesque smile was obviously yqy's too.

A tear slipped free.

Why was yqy...? A now familiar hand reached over to just by his ear where his neck and jaw connected, pressing at his acupoint.

Yqy was his captor?

His mind raced from then on. Fine combing every interaction he had with yqy. Was this yqy? Or was this a demon wearing his face?

Sqq couldn't trust his senses anymore. The only thing constant was the press of a finger at his acupoint before slumber, the repetitive chore of being bathed and dressed, the smell of scandalwood, the bland broth for every meal and lastly, the tea that smelled and tasted like jasmine.

He constantly felt on the edge of a qi deviation—it was wearing at his raw meridians. But his mind still tried to work through it all; to understand what was happening. His mind was the only thing he relied upon the most and thought to never fail him.

He was starting to doubt himself.

Sometimes his mind would register the presence of someone else, but after he saw yqy's face as his captor, sqq dared not look up again.

Then one day, he woke to the heavy smell of perfume and women preparing him in red silks his mind cared to note as ones he'd eyed during one of the many market runs he and lqg went on under disguise for his parents.

Lqg's parents that day had again offered up some ideas for their wedding, something that sqq had shared with liu-furen to be something he was nervous about, but excited.

Sqq had eyed the red silk robes displayed at one of the aunties' stalls, the lady manning the counter chattering with another customer about how she not only did ready made wedding robes but took orders as well.

A small feeling in sqq's heart yearned. He wanted to don those robes as his own and look beside himself to see lqg dressed similarly with his red robes highlighting his handsome, heroic features.

Sqq would wear a veil, for he'd be smiling too much and his frosty countenance would be shattered.

And his smiles were only ever reserved for the eyes of one man.

...but now he was donning those robes he wanted to don for some time in his life, when the only man he'd ever thought of wearing such robes for was dead.

He was being wedded off?

To whom? Sqq's mind ran a chǐ a fēn, trying to make sense of his current situation.

His mind slowly managed to process what was happening—very obviously, he was being prepared for a wedding. He didn't recognise the women fluttering about him, but they were telling each other a thing or two, words like "...Shen-daozhang must look his best!" and "...Yue-zhangmen truly picked a beauty..." were what he managed to pick off.

Yue-zhangmen? So whatever it was that had yqy's face fooled many?

What happened to yqy then? Cqm was breached! And only sqq knew of it. Now he was to be wedded to the creature with yqy's face?

Sqq tried to speak—He couldn't.

He could only give a grunt which the ladies took as impatience, making them hush him lightly before fluttering about again.

So he didn't have any of his faculties other than his senses and mind. Not enough, but good enough for him to think up a plan.

Whatever the creature wanted, it was to ruin cqm from the core. Not only did it take the place of the sect head (sqq ignored how his heart squeezed again at the thought), but it also rendered him, the sect strategist, completely and utterly useless.

So he bide his time. The creature didn't get to feed him any of that tea that was surely the culprit of his other faculties being useless—that is, if it didn't feed him the tea while unconscious.

A veil was enshrouded over him, and now his sight was all blood red. His heart thumped in his ears, and for a weak moment sqq dreamt this was him preparing to be wedded to lqg.

how he missed the man's stupid bluntness and honesty.

When he boarded the bridal sedan though, all thoughts of this being his and lqg's wedding were dashed. There was too much fanfare; lqg's parents had promised the wedding to be a more private affair, less festivities and more of an intimate setting for their love to bloom further.

The bridal sedan halted, jostling sqq who could only try his damnest to not lose his balance with the lack of control on his limbs. A hand made its way into the sedan, grasping at sqq's hand before tugging him forward.

Sqq's body obeyed easily, disembarking from the sedan and out into the open. Everything was so loud and overwhelming, stuck in his own mind sqq could only wince inwards.

All throughout, sqq tried to keep his mind off the wedding by thinking of how he could bring down the creature wearing yqy's face. He still hadn't figured out what it could be, though.

He had taken all the time he had after he'd glimpsed upon yqy's face that day of what could be wearing their sect leader's bearing, quickly shooting down the idea of a skinner—they were too weak. No skinner would be able to catch yqy unawares.

Sqq and the impostor bowed once to heaven and earth.

He couldn't be any of the lowly demons, it was too smart—the way it was bringing down cqm.

Sqq and the impostor bowed to their parents (the jade tablets of their shizun—they had no parents. Forgive this disciple, shizun, shibo—a creature wearing yqy's mien had sullied this place)

Lastly they were to bow to each other—but by then sqq really couldn't ignore it anymore. He couldn't separate himself from the idea he was betraying lqg by allowing himself to bow to a man that wasn't the bai zhan war god.

A sob broke free as sqq managed to stop clear of bowing halfway; an ache creeping down his spine at the way he was fighting against his body's call to obey.

But he couldn't bring himself to accept this—this was meant to be for him and lqg—it was meant to be him and lqg.

Not him and this creature that took yqy's likeness.

But sqq could only do so much—whatever that tea had been, it commanded him to obey.

And obey he did.

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

hello hello hope u are having a good timezone! as u might have noticed re: my tags on that shl gifset lmao i'm interested on yr thoughts on this as a wenzhou poem.. cannot stop thinking about the come hope too much. come with all your ghosts. come clown around when the timing's bad. come promise me the world. come trust me to do my best even when i don't. come ask me to give you everything i have. anyway. !!! <3

honestly, i dont know how to present my thoughts without wanting to cry. there is something so raw about this poem that hits me where it hurts. i think this visceral need, of hope, is so essential to tyk, and at the same time, the novel is making a study of hopelessness.

i mean. the main character starts out killing himself; and it is hard not to understand this wish if the very world he lives in is so bleak and devoid of warmth. and after that very important decision, zhou zishu rejoices in every single mundane thing life has to offer; and he can do that, like, he has given himself the allowance to it because he paid for it with his death.

Death was not frightening. It had not been easy for him to survive over the past twenty years; all of the methods he used to pressure Zhang Chengling were ones he had endured in his childhood, but even harsher, and despite him not having the kid's innate talent for withstanding that harshness completely unharmed. (Ch. 45, tl. chichilations) "Why wouldn't i? My junior used to be taught by my hand." .. "Then what did you do if our junior couldn't recite the mantras, or couldn't practice some move?" .. "I made him copy the introductory breath-regulation mantra three hundred times. If he couldn't even practice slowly, then he wouldn't need to eat, nor… need to sleep. In the middle of the night, I would get someone to lock his bedroom up so that he would go into the snowdrifts and come to a comprehension on his own." (Ch. 33, tl. chichilations) He had experienced enough to fear no one and nothing in the world. If he lived in no fear, what was so scary about death? (Ch. 45, tl. chichilations)

and i feel like... like!! he has spent his entire life trying to carve out a place for himself: he perfected four seasons manor’s martial arts into an, uh, art, he dabbled a little in game of thrones politics entirely uncalled for, he discovered he has basically no bottom line, he sold his sect to the empire and built a new organization by himself, he became the most powerful person of the nation second only to the son of heaven. he has, like, done lots of things, and made mostly only bad choices.

but this struggle has always been about living his own life, and it has always been in a transactional way, and now that he has all but killed himself, he is doing it all over again.

However, what was making him uncomfortable was that he had to count the days down until his death. / Having endured so much, his heart's will was stalwart, and never had he had a will for death. Wasn't it ironic that his most free, most unworried, and most cheerful days would be the ones where he was waiting to die? / This was most likely yet another stupid thing that was his own doing. (Ch. 45, tl. chichilations)

and wen kexing is kind of the opposite. wen kexing has never really lived a life for himself, and over his time in the valley, he must have become accustomed to the thought of never having a life of his own ever. he is entirely unashamed of being seen as well, at least regarding the things that are socially unacceptable, like homosexuality and murder, or his general unhinged self; unashamed in a way that speaks of a trial by fire. but he once says that,

"For all my life, whenever I want to happily play around, I can't be happy. When I grew up a little, I wanted to learn arts both martial and literary with my parents, but no one was around to teach me. Tell me… isn't that some very poor timing?" (Ch. 29, tl. chichilations)

in short, he is always slightly out of tune. when he meets zhou zishu, he is slightly out of tune as well. zhou zishu is going to die (at this point, it is all but set in stone), and wen kexing has this plan that ends with a bang, with him going up in flames while he burns all of his past grievances and the devils and demons of jianghu, and that includes himself, away.

"This is the human world," he continued, "and the human world should not have ghosts and demons. The … prestigious Hero Ghao Chong is ridding the world of calamities for the common folk. If we don't lend a hand, would your many years of reading sagely texts not be in vain? I heard that only many years of cultivation can then give you a fulfilled life, but if you don't do anything notable, wouldn't those decades have been for nothing?" / Zhou Zishu didn't answer, but Wen Kexing still turned to ask after him. "Wouldn't you agree, Ah-Xu?" (Ch. 16, tl. chichilations) When cold rain falls, autumn makes itself known; the wutong tree ages and dies. Thin robes offer no protection from a night of bitter winter, years and lives wasting, whiling away... nothing more than this: resentment, that we met so late. (Ch. 29, tl. hunxi-after-hours)

but oh. while they meet, in that space between them, they carve out a place for them that fits just right; a space where they can explore and discover, play and fuck around, and be human. something neither really knows how to. ("and I started feeling myself open, / started feeling my yes coming back / and it was the sweetest thing I had ever known / the reverse of being haunted, / like taking a deep breath / and pulling the fog of the glass.")

and it also reminds me of this:

(excerpt from 'baked goods' by aimee nezhukumatathil, found here)

seriously, the lines youre quoting in your ask, like (grabs wenzhou and shakes them around) thats them!!! its them!!! but the poem has no single line that isnt a banger, almost no line that doesnt fit them. how it starts is absolutely devastating, it reminds me of wen kexing and the valley and his general attitude re: his lack of autonomy. ("I wanted the yes to last forever so badly later on I told myself: / We’re built like drums. We couldn't make songs / if we had never been hit. It was a desperate theory.") it reminds me of zhou zishu's journey (gestures at qi ye at large) and his unceasing downwards spiral, that ends with him (figuratively but also not) in his own grave. ("And that’s how I lived. I mean, that’s how I’d been living. / Decades of no no no no no no / And that’s okay, an accordion could not make a song / if it never closed.") like, zhou zishu is a survivor. the fact that he decides to kill himself has been a long way coming emotionally, but only really comes to pass in the physical world when liang jiuxiao's death kicks him off over edge, and half a decade later, he still remembers him with that misunderstanding in mind; otherwise, im fairly sure, he would have never done so, despite being unhappy and miserable.

"Who?" Zhou Zishu laughed dourly. "You mean the girl at the restaurant? I'll handle her. Liang Jiuxiao … he… he said murderers pay with their lives. Told me to pay with my life." (Qi Ye, Ch. 62, tl. chichilations) Murdering someone should be paid with one's life? Why should it be? In this world, there was a way to make living worse than dying. (TYK, Ch. 20, tl. chichilations)

but wen kexing, even despite being highly aware that he has never really lived, tries to find light in the darkness even in his last days on earth. ruth @specialability said the other day when i was rambling about wen kexing's general attitude re: his own impending death in my tags, "I do think that Wen Kexing is sort of removed from his reality in a dissociative way but he doesn't want to be. He is trying to have life experiences that are not so shitty and I do think there are times when he is very 'present', especially with Chengling," and i agree. they are both in their last days on this earth, and they are desperately making the most of it, because in all honesty, neither really wants to die. this shift from "not wanting to die" to "living", in tyk, happens incredibly slow and not all at once, i think. its a gradual process, a lot must be chosen and decided upon, and before all, wenzhou must allow themselves to believe in hope again.

thats what rattles me so about 'good light', its about how there hasnt always been hopelessness, but now, it is hard to remember how it used to be; having faith. believing in the good. this ardous, sometimes agonizing process of starting to believe in it again, of opening yourself to possibilities again. in the chapter when wu xi and jing qi return to examine zhou zishu again, after they already pronounced him incurable once before, and savable only if he paid a price that turns out to be his bottom line, zhou zishu says, in his pov:

Even though the time he had spent alive could not be considered ‘long’, Zhou Zishu felt that it was sufficient for him to understand this lesson--that there was no such thing as a free lunch. Even if these two people before him could be considered ‘friends’ if he were hard-pressed to, even if he was familiar with how the Great Shaman operated, he still dared not believe it so easily. / Because… it could hurt, this thing called hope. (Ch. 64, tl. wenbuxing)

but oh, it can be so sweet as well, cant it? when youve opened yourself to it, when youve begun to discover life, the world, yourself and who you might be; a second chance, at life, at being a person. like, wenzhou are so weird, but they are also trying out this thing called courtship, called friendship, called mundane life. and its so funny because they dont know how, and the novel absolutely drags them for it and they drag each other constantly and themselves too, no thing is left untouched. but also it is funny, it is hilarious, in this tragic sort of way that makes me want to cry, and also in the funny way because these two guys are just so perfect at being clowns.

but it is also sweet and lovely and raw, and thats who they are, and thats what they allow themselves to be, allow each other to be when they are together. they have, somehow, carved out this safe space with each other, where they can be fragile and human.

(quote above from 'i will' by mistki, found here)

[tk-duveraun]

For the fanfic writer ask game: Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

UUHHH, good question.

I've written a lot of weird trope-y and appeals to only me stuff.

FFXIV

Outsider POV TT fix it

Role Reversal

Heatfic, but lizards

My OC Fixes Your Stupid Plot

WoH/SHL

Red String of Fate

Wing Fic

Fantasy Immortal Lives to Modern Times

Arranged Marriage, Bonus Reincarnation/Immortal Pair

Amnesia

They're cats. Not catboys, literal cats

Soulmate Identifying Marks

Omegaverse because I'm not a coward

Guardian (镇魂)

Role Reversal Another One

The Crossover Literally No One Asked For

FE16(FE3H)

Role Reversal :)

Canonical Main Character Shows up 2 Hrs late with starbucks

Ghost Romance!

Hanahaki

Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies

Crack Taken Seriously

Jedi: Fallen Order

My OC Comes and Fixes Your Stupid Plot

The Mandalorian

Blorbo/Reader

Diablo 3

Wait this game has lore? And fic????

Star Wars

If they're an OC, and they're an OC, and all of this made up, then who's writing the canon?!

DA:I

Mermaid AU

Flowershop AU

You get the idea.

I guess I'm always a sucker for more Soulmate aus? But I am literally writing one right now or would be, if COVID let me.

Basically, I have no restraint and am willing to try anything (Even Second Person and that came out shockingly well, so???) I also am extremely cringe and in the cringe have found freedom.

OH and I've written fanfic of my own original novel :)

[ahxiang]

I posted 2,343 times in 2022

249 posts created (11%)

2,094 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ahxu-laowen

@laowen

@maggiecheungs

@team-win

@kittychicha

ily guys sm!! <3333

I tagged 2,312 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#q - 242 posts

#tea talks - 202 posts

#enchante - 151 posts (surprising absolutely no one)

#kp - 143 posts

#tyk - 101 posts

#shl - 96 posts

#kpop - 84 posts

#akktheo - 81 posts

#akk - 74 posts

#vice versa - 73 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#and ik it's not subs translating the thai equivalent of the eng slang word fruit bc he says ผลไม้ (ponlamai) which literally means fruit

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

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393 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

#4

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474 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#3

FIRST KANAPHAN as SAN

Only Friends (dir. Jojo Tichakorn)

glad to see we’re all on the same page abt first’s bat

1,003 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#2

with the focus on the revolving door again in ep 16, i just want to say a little smth abt the door as an autistic person myself.

i know some ppl are frustrated with wyw's difficulty in using the door, saying it infantilizes her and that "she's a 27 year old lawyer, she's seen a revolving door before, she knows how they work." but the thing is, it's not abt her being familiar with revolving doors at all. at least not in the way you think. it's not "oh look at this lady, she doesn't understand this door bc she's autistic." it's a sensory issue.

autism affects our senses and the way we process them. what many allistics don’t understand about autism is that we’re not just overly sensitive to sounds and bright lights. we can be underly (is that a word??) sensitive to stimulus as well and have a hard time controlling our senses. this includes all seven senses. that right, seven. there’s the five you know, but also two you probably don’t: the vestibular sense and proprioception. these two have to do with body awareness, balance, and spatial orientation. that’s why many of us walk “weirdly” (if i ever catch you saying someone walks weirdly i am coming into your house and punching you in the face) or are clumsy. we have issues with our bodies in relation to the world around us and often have a hard time balancing. i walk into walls all the time and miscalculate and walk into doorways instead of through them. 

so it’s not that wyw doesn’t understand the social concept of a revolving door, but that they’re difficult to navigate through due to her vestibular and proprioceptive sensory issues. i myself have a hard time with revolving doors! so pls no more “this makes her look dumb” or “this is so unrealistic”. if wyw is bad representation and is stupid for having problems with a revolving door, then i’m an unrealistically stupid autistic that walks into walls.

1,340 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

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3,621 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[puckgoss]

hello! i have questions about being 'undrafted'. like i know there are a lot of players that went undrafted that are still able to play in the nhl. but for example, if a college free agent signs for an NHL team without being drafted, do they fall under the undrafted section? *for example, recently signed college free agent lleyton roed for seattle kraken*

(now that i typed that out, it seems like a stupid question to ask)

and another thing, do you think that's something the players chirp each other about? like do u think, for younger players who may be in their early seasons, would there be a divide between those who got drafted and those who went undrafted?

hi anon!! thanks for coming back 🥰

undrafted players

yes, you are correct - you don't have to be drafted to play in the NHL. any player who was never selected in the NHL entry draft counts as an undrafted player, whether they're college free agents or free agents coming from European leagues such as the KHL/SHL/Swiss League, etc. they are free to sign with any team that is interested in signing them.

drafted NCAA players who choose not to sign with the team that drafted them

slightly related to this - if an NHL team drafts a player who then goes to play in the NCAA, NHL teams hold draft rights for four years (usually this means until the end of the player's senior year in college) and hold the rights of an NCAA player until 30 days after they leave college.

if they NHL team does not sign the NCAA player to a contract by that time, then that player becomes a free agent and can sign with any team.

the most high-profile example of this would be Adam Fox of the New York Rangers. he was drafted by calgary, told them he wouldn't play for them so they traded his rights to carolina, and then he also didn't sign with them. he only wanted to play for the rangers and eventually he got his wish!

players chirping each other re: drafted status / for younger players who may be in their early seasons, is there a divide between those who got drafted and those who went undrafted

great question!! hockey culture is fascinating in that it is very team-focused. individual accolades are nice but most players are more focused on team success. at the same time, chirping is very common and is seen as a bonding activity for a team, and chirping can get pretty brutal/intense haha

from what i know, guys who are high draft picks are more likely to be teased for being drafted higher in the draft that undrafted players are for being undrafted. for example, there's many stories from over the years of crosby's teammates (lovingly) teasing him for being "the next one"

hockey players have a lot of respect for one another as they know firsthand how hard it is to make it as a professional NHL player. there seems to be extra respect for players who grind it out and make it to the NHL despite not being drafted. high draft picks are given tons of chances to succeed and make it, whereas undrafted players have to fight tooth and nail just to get noticed by a team.

[mtkay13]

A soulmate, a beloved.

I have come to discover that I am relatively known for my loud appreciation of ZZS' hobo persona, also nicknamed "hoboxu". Here are two versions : the SHL one, and my own design. Allow me to write a little something about him (see below).

The reason got hooked to SHL in the first place was him. I didn't even notice TC ZZS beforehand, but there was just something about his hobo-self that clicked. Probably the feeling of fun, freedom and lack of restraint, the freshness of it too, in a series whose characters are supposed to be physically appealing. It felt like an open window on a character who is much more than what a typical quirky hot guy. The second phase of me falling in love was when I gave it some more thoughts, after I had read the book a first time. I realised how he was the image of freedom and simplicity for ZZS. Just enjoying the sunlight, not bothered by anything but the nightly pain in his chest, just doing whatever he wants. Back then, I was myself in a dark place which had let me to desire nothing more than to fully let go and not give a sh*t about anything... and he was both the image of that, but also of being a bit stupid, of having fun, and mostly, of caring. He does take ZCL in. He does pay his respects to Old Li. He hasn't fully stopped trying. The final hit on the nail (heh) was when I properly read TYK a second time, though. Soon after he put on his disguise, ZZS looks at his own reflection in a river and thinks that "finally, the outside matches the inside", very satisfied. It could be that his sickly exterior reflects how his interior is slowly dying. But it could also very well be that he is trash, and finally looks like trash. And he's happy about it. Later on, when offered new clothes, he's amused by how ridiculous his stupid face and meager body look with such refined fabric on it. Like it doesn't match. ZZS himself loves this persona. He likes looking like this, and I think that's fantastic. I think it's hilarious. I think that ZZS identifying with this appearance is great, liberating, and extremely fun. Also, come on. It's perfect for him. ZZS is the guy who spent two weeks in a cellar and bathed WEEKS after leaving the capital because the smell had gotten too bad, "even for him". I believe ZZS when he says the inside now matches the outside, lol. And of course, of course, while I do think that WenZhou would have gotten along without it, I do think that this disguise serves as a very efficient starting point for their "human connection". It is with this person that WKX first got to interact. It is with this person that WKX became friends with, altho he did know (arguably) that his real face was probably beautiful. And it is with that person that WKX started falling in love... So how can I not? Seriously?? A not on the design, now. I decided to make him that trashy because both GX, WKX and multiple other characters actually have a hard time looking at him for too long (in TYK). I love SHL ZZS and think he's gorgeous but given how he's treated in TYK, it just couldn't be enough. Someone in the community rightfully pointed out that him being too ugly would attract too much attention, but I think I managed a convincing middle-ground. As for the beard, well, it's not like he has many opportunities to shave as a homeless guy. (Seriously though, in the AD, there's a sequence where you can hear horrified gasps from the crowd as he's walking around. He has to be noticeably crusty!) As a bonus, my first hoboxu design sheet :

[lostthebucky]

Excuse me I've been following this blog for probably years for mcu content and now you're saying you've got a cql/shl side blog??? Please tell me what it is, I've been obsessed with both these shows for months :D

I do!!!! Sorry for the slow reply, I was finishing shl and I am in Mourning (the easter egg ending is Not Enough).

My cql/shl sideblog is @flaxbutterfly

I reblogged one cql post and realised it would not be enough and I needed a blog just for that because my god I love them so much. As much as I enjoy marvel, they haven’t done much that has interested me recently so I’m mostly on this blog to make memes when I have time lol. 

Me watching cql/shl tho

The characters?  👌 👌 👌 👌 👌 👌 The worlds and stories??  👌 👌 👌 (even if I had no idea what was going on for half of shl lmao). Please feel free to come talk to me at any time about them!! I have many feelings

[yohankang]

far from your eyes pierced by blind love solitude is easier to bear 

- mama, zbigniew herbert

[mikkaeus]

wenzhou flirting [2/?] - Episode 3

translation for interview from @\zhngzhehan on twitter