#short king nandor

[beansprean]

A dramatic height reversal was brought up by local geniuses @pejntedboks and @chaoticsmirk and the concept immediately turns Nandor into a silly little prince boy with a Napoleon complex. I am trying not to imagine how terrifying a 6'2" Guillermo would be. Also I drew this whole thing like "haha heehee teeny tiny Nandor" before remembering that I am also 5'0". :/

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1a. Chest up of Nandor, covered in a cloak, and Guillermo standing side to side, Guillermo standing a few inches above Nandor's shoulder. Nandor looks at him from the corner of his eye and asks, "How do I look, Guillermo?" Guillermo avoids his gaze with an uncertain expression and replies, "Uh. Great, Master." 1b. Zoom out; Nandor plants his hands confidently on his hips, parting the oversized cloak in the process and revealing himself as a much shorter person wearing tall stilts. He grins and declares, "Perfect! I'll take them!" Guillermo nervously shoves his hands in his chino pockets and looks away sweatily, cheeks flushing.

2a. Short Nandor and Laszlo, who stands a good six inches taller, are in the middle of an argument. Laszlo has his body turned away from Nandor, arms crossed, and sneers at him over his shoulders, snapping "I don't know how you manage to clamber up onto that high horse of yours without a lift!" Nandor, facing him with fists clenched at his side, gasps loudly in affront. 2b. Shot from over Laszlo's shoulder as he turns his face away from Nandor and toward the viewer with a scowl. Behind him, Nandor flails his arms in an angry tantrum, insisting "I am 185 centimeters!" (6 feet 1 inch) Laszlo scowls, mumbling, "And I'm a bloody virgin..." Nandor shouts, "Guillermo! Come here!"

3. Full body view as Guillermo steps up to Nandor's side, holding a broom. He is significantly taller than Nandor, and tags by their heads declare Nandor as 5 feet 0 inches or 152 centimeters and Guillermo as 6 feet 2 inches or 188 centimeters. Arms crossed, Nandor continues to glare at Laszlo offscreen as he snaps, "Guillermo! How tall are you!" Guillermo looks down at him with a sigh and obediently replies, "7'3", Master." (221 centimeters) Nandor crows, "See?!"

4. Guillermo sits in a cushioned wooden chair with a serene smile, lifting Nandor's hair to run a brush through it gently. Nandor sitting in his lap, facing out. His legs, which don’t quite reach the floor, are crossed and his foot is jiggling in some unheard rhythm.His hands are planted on Guillermos thighs beneath him and his eyes are closed, looking calm and pleased. The background is a warm red-violet and curly golden text above reads "The Little Prince." /end ID

[gerandor]

Every time the camera catches his side profile

His gym look…the naked chest and the short, zoorkhaneh pants

That time at the gym he hurled the security guard at the wall without even giving him a look

Every time we’re reminded he has a pain kink; with the witches, and when he’s fighting with guillermo

When he was wrestling with kublai…the whole thing he was wearing, the position of his body on the carpet and the…you guessed it, boobs

The fact that he’s a bottom despite having the biggest penis in the world

The fact that he has the biggest penis in the world

His speech at the familiar fights at the night market where he shoved the ringmaster off the pedestal and commanded everyone’s attention like the king he once was

His super slumber look…the sleeves that rode up his arms and the dagger strapped across his chest

Every time he smiles

This isn’t a poll btw. It’s a list. All of these are true.

[your-mums-nuts]

Episode 3 summary: Nandor thinks Guillermo is into short kings and not tall himbos, goes to space to impress him, explodes on landing.

[darthvaderofmiddle-earth]

I posted 19,465 times in 2022

That's 5,473 more posts than 2021!

334 posts created (2%)

19,131 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pyrose-the-flame

@daxdraggon

@the-quasar-hero

@sovengardeswag

@russkisov

I tagged 4,553 of my posts in 2022

#mega save - 1,974 posts

#funny - 1,439 posts

#food - 848 posts

#writing inspiration - 789 posts

#happy - 789 posts

#my aesthetic - 120 posts

#toh spoilers - 100 posts

#tbobf spoilers - 77 posts

#life tips - 59 posts

#wwdits spoilers - 56 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#nandor is dead dead and he will never connect the dots until guillermo straight up does it for him one night with a stake to his heart

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I had a dream last night that Saruman and Gandalf were in a classroom trying to teach the Silmarillion. That was, perhaps, the most interesting dream I've ever had tbh. Lots of arguing between the two of them.

41 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

#4

Parents block your wifi?

Here’s how to easily and quickly get around it, IF the blocking is IP-based.

Go to the Windows search bar, and type “CMD”

Right click “Command Prompt”

Click “Run as administrator”

Type in “ipconfig /release” without parentheses and press enter

Wait for a few seconds

Type “ipconfig /renew” without parentheses and press enter

Done. Close Command Prompt

43 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

#3

Dystopia for a Boy

In the shambling, gender-based society of Modus, Magnus questions his gender, and defies the gender norms and GPD, to his own detriment. With this dystopian coming-out biography of Magnus's life, follow his adventures, and the overcoming difficulties against the GPD and society itself, as he takes on manhood, and evolves into Magnus once and for all, liberating society from gender bias and norms.

Purchase here on Amazon for $14.99 USD!

46 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#2

I need commissions, and fast

Long story short, my mother was put on disability for having long covid. Even though she's now back to work, she's not sure when she's going to see her next paycheck.

I have surgery coming up in 27 days (as of 6-8-2022), and to do this, I have to drive to the north 2x in 3 days. Less than 3/4 a tank of gas today cost me $40. I can't afford this. I NEED gas money, and nobody can help me out.

Examples of my poetry: Wanderers' Laments / Wanderers' Reprise Coszcal Mwaxanare King of Lies Dance With the Reaper Guide for the Blind Ode to our Ace

Examples of my short stories (500-750 words): Myth Silence Mercy

Examples of my longer stories (1000+ words): Forgotten Magick

Pricing: Poetry- $20 Short story: $15 Long story: Varies in length, but the one previewed $100

Please, if you're able to, commission me, and if not, reblog this. It'd greatly help me, you have no idea!!!

54 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Sovereign Uriel: ARREST VOX MACHINA!!

Every D&D player ever: Ah, yes, I remember the first time my party was arrested. They'll escape.

77 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[phantomoftheparadise0002]

Been watching wwdits season 3 episodes 'gail' and 'the casino'.

The blur on nanadors 🍆 😂

Him and gail on the floor 🥲

And him walking into guillermo's room half naked only to find him and a corpse watching twilight on the ipad.

Nadja looking down at nandors 🍆

Nandor singing and dancing. Go king

The convo between lazslo and colin shows that he has respect him in some sort of way. What also counts for colin.

The beginning of episode the casino, when lazslo played the wwdits theme note. Was so awesome.

Colin robinson his view in the mirror? He looks? Older? Mm never noticed that.

Lazslo and nadja having sex in their hotelroom next to the others, poor guillermo his ears bleeding.

Colin robison demolishing a car. Also loves to watch the loop video of the casino hotel.

Guillermo going on a single roadtrip in search for ground.

Nandor screaming: bazinga!!

Also lazslo being a very good friend and helping his neighbor sean to get the spend money back.

The ending,them giving guillermo a thank you note. Short but it means alot.

I've noticed that the network they show wwdits on isn't going to air episode 7? Which is 'siren'. I have no idea why tho.

[disasterbispn]

I appreciate What We Do in the Shadows for recognizing that all vampires are a little bisexual. Ninety years of heterosexuality is really all a body can take.

[procrastinationonvacation]

You know that thing about short people being angry all the time? The origin of that was absolutely the Nandor and the Avari. It’s considered genuinely dangerous to piss of someone from one of these groups because they can and will fuck you up.

Once some of them eventually get to Aman, the Vanyar/Teleri/Non-exiled Noldor consider them adorable and childlike. They are treated accordingly (read like helpless kindergarteners)

They do this right up until someone (probably Tauriel) snaps and nearly beats some condescending courtier to death while the other non-eldar (and like all “reformed” feanorian followers) cheer in the background.

It’s her feanorian side coming out. 

Listen: she likes the feanorians so much cause they’re used to aggressive shorties (see: feanor is short and you cannot change my mind). And it goes both way, let’s be honest the True Reason everyone thinks she’s feanorian is bc she’s short and angry. At this point, the “tauriel is part of the family” is so confusing to ppl in aman that if she wanted to be high king (queen?) I’m not sure who’d have enough braincells to stop her. (coming back to add that i imagine at least a few of the shiny murder fam would support such a claim)

-

but yes ok. the Nandor and Avari. I can stay on subject. really. 

please god tell me that said condescending courtier offered Tauriel the equivalent of a goldfish snack and capri sun to “calm down.” Also it doesn’t help that (due to higher death rates) a lot of the middle earthers are probably younger than the non-exiled calaquendi. That being said, the avari probably know a lot more about wrecking your shit when crossed, so I hope manwe gets off his ass and does something about the whole mess before another kinslaying happens.

-

thanks for the ask!!! I love this idea so much! (i took a while to get to it cause I was sick)

[chanbig]

WWDITS for the ask game

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) - okay yes yes this is obvious but Guillermo!!! vampire hunters have never been more sexy. I think about his little laugh when he caught nandors knife every day. smiley murder underpaid customer service king. he has so many layers and I love them all

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) - nandoooor!!! I think he is also very layered and so funny and his depression eps and loneliness hit so hard god ouch. reeling for days. also idk who decided he should wear short shorts in the cult eps but I thank them every day for their gift.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) - the guide omg kristen schaal doing the most to make me love this character. she has maybe the worst executive assistant job and like what kind of benefits does that job get you? not enough. it took me so long before I realized who the actress was. anyway she should run the counsel she'd get it done

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) - nadja ghost!! doll nadja is my fav like yes she is like nadja but before she knew laszlo which is interesting to see and when she went on the rampage through New York I was dying like ajfjdjfj nadja and doll!nadja could have their own ep and I wouldnt even complain. comedy twins

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) - okay not sure if this counts BUT I'd say colin robinson because he gets somewhat forgotten sometimes like hes not as popular as the rest of them but he is actually soo funny. perfect bastard roommate. I'd kill him in two seconds flat if I knew him irl which he'd LOVE but that's why he works as a character

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) - laszlo but only because he'd also think it was fun. you know what I mean. also because of the end to the latest eps I am fuming

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) - genuinely cannot think of one to send to superhell. I love them all.

[beansprean]

Incredible that I finally looked up Matt berrys height and he’s 5’10”. Man exudes 5’6” energy, idk how I can draw laszlo being taller than nadja… I posit that fictional characters’ height should rely on vibes rather than the actors. Just how I draw nandor as a looming gibbon, laszlo should be able to tuck his head under his wife’s chin when they hug.

[ID: 1. black and white drawing of Nandor, Colin, Laszlo, Guillermo, and Nadja standing in a row in order of tallest to shortest. At the top, text reads “canon heights” with sarcastic quotes around “canon”. Each character is labeled with their actor’s height: 6’1”, 6’0”, 5’10”, 5’8”, and 5’6”, respectively. 2. The same drawings, now labeled “how I draw them”, with each character’s image stretched and squished to fit their vibes according to the artist. Nandor is significantly taller and wider, labeled “bird-sized brain in a mammoth-sized body.” Colin has not been altered but is now only up to Nandor’s ear and is labeled “man who is tall but sits down a lot.” Laszlo has been squashed shorter and stretched wider, about to Nandor’s chin, and is labeled “short king.” Guillermo has also been squashed down, barely breaching Nandor’s shoulder, and is labeled “feral chipmunk.” Nadja has been stretched upwards, now an inch or two taller than Colin, and is labeled “morticia addams meets lady dimetrescu.” /end ID]

[playstacean]

as much as i think nandermo has a lot of possibility and obvious subtext, i wouldnt be too sad if it wasnt canon. i love nandor but he cannot express his feelings whatsoever, and until he learns how to, he doent deserve guillermo "short king" de la cruz.

[celebrimbor-of-eregion]

What Happens When Elves Are Released from the Halls of Mandos - Headcanon Post

Elven fëar spend a lot of time in the Halls, often several centuries, especially if the person was traumatized greatly prior to their death. During that time, they work with Namo and (mostly) his Maiar to heal (that is a subject for another post). Namo determines when it’s time for a fëa to be released. Then, the Elf’s family and/or friends are notified. 

If the Elf has none in Valinor (a serious problem for Elves whose kin does not live there, such as Sindar in the First Age), their king’s representative is notified: Finarfin’s for Noldor, Olwë’s for Teleri, Sindar, Nandor, and everyone else Teleri-related, Ingwë’s for Vanyar (which does not happen often) and everyone who does not identify as anything/is unsure/is mixed. Upon release, the fëar have to go through a ceremony where are given new bodies. These bodies look the same way the Elves looked around the time of their death, only undamaged. Another difference is that their hair is short: it symbolizes new life and also lets people around know that this person has been recently released from the Halls and should be treated with care.

The reembodied Elves are given a simple white shirt, a pair of wooden sandals, and a crown of dried flowers. 

(sandals)

They have to return the shirt and the shoes to Namo’s Maiar later, but they get to keep the crown. Most Elves (or, more precisely, their families) burn it in their first day of new life to mark the fact that their time as dead ones is over, but Namo’s Maiar keep reminding the public that this act is just Elven tradition and does not bring any magical benefit, and nothing bad will happen if you don’t burn it. A lot of Elves are still superstitious and do not want that crown in their house.

(crown)

Having been dressed, the Elves are led through a door and a flower arch to a meeting place where their family, friends, or the king’s representative pick them up. 

(Celebrimbor upon his release from the Halls in the Fourth Age)

In the first two cases they would go to the family/friends’ house, and in the third case, the queen provides them with a room and necessary things like clothes and items of personal hygiene.

The first few months are very tough for the newly released Elves. At the meeting place, the Maiar do lecture those picking up about the challenges that their loved one is about to go through, but it’s still hard. They have to get used to basic things like breathing, walking, feeling pain. They do not recall what the feeling of hunger feels like, so when hunger hits them, it is very scary, and they think they are dying. First hunger is also very violent, but it’s unsafe to eat any heavy foods. Elves also don’t recall that they need sleep and, feeling sleepy, again think they are dying. Some achievements of in-Halls healing might be reversed by the initial stress - and also by insensitive people. Celebrimbor’s family, for instance, is particularly “grateful” to the big-mouthed person who decided to tell him about the banner thing soon after his release. Namo’s Maiar are doing their best to educate the public, but assholes be assholes. Newly released Elves are also socially awkward and/or anxious, so there is no reembodiment party. Usually, the party happens about a year after the release, when the person is ready. They are also not supposed to work until their hair grows back. Spouses and lovers have to keep in mind that the newly released person is not going to want to have sex with them anytime soon, perhaps not until years later. Generally, taking care of a newly released person is a big challenge, but during the First Age, it becomes a universal problem, so people can support each other and share their experience. Some people make it their profession to educate families and help them take care of their reembodied members. These people are being trained by the Maiar of Irmo and Este. The kings are also supposed to provide financial support in case if caring for a reembodied person hinders a family’s financial well-being (and let me tell you, Finarfin is going to go broke). All these things are still valid in late in the Fourth Age when some Elves who died during the War of the Ring become released.

(this post is devoted to the lovely @the-neverending-errand)

[tkwrtnewsfeed]

Newsfeed #97 March 8, 2018 (8 Súlimë)

NEW BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT: THE STAND-ALONE SAGA

First of all, I’m not dropping everything to write this particular book (I don’t know why people fear that). The “new” book is not as “new” as I am implying. The story (like the trilogy) is a long and winding one.

When I began outlining the Elves of Mirkwood, naturally people wonder “where are all these elves coming from. For example, it is no secret Thranduil’s cousin Elranduil married a Noldorin (Ardúin) and Thranduil’s wife is a Nandor (Danwaith)--the last of the remaining ones. Nearly all of the main characters have a back story (and after stories), so I had written part of those around the time I began The Kingdom of the Woodland Realm Trilogy. They were going to go into the Appendix (which at the time included Legolas’ Journals). When I changed the format of the book--having the story told by the four generation of elves--two being rulers and one being an heir to the Woodland Realm--I was free to do with the back stories what I wished--especially the one about the origins of Êlúriel.

It doesn’t have a title yet; it is not put together as well as the other books in the trilogy--even Legolas’ story is already planned from beginning to end. This new book will be part of the Appendix, unless it’s longer than 200 pages. There is a reason for that:

515 pages of Book II: The Saga of Thranduil (original version) is already a ream; its extended version will be at least 600 pages in its final form and Book I and Book III are currently estimated to be 500-600 pages each--then there’s the extended version of Book III which will more than likely be around 500-600 pages long. When I put the trilogies together, that’s a lot of paper to add something 200+ pages long. I’m already over 1100 with Book I/Book II (both versions) not including Book III.

Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings Trilogy* in one volume is 1178 pages (including the Appendix; 1031 w/o). So you can see I have a doorstop in the making. And even though this new “volume” will mesh with the trilogy (not unlike the STARZ show The White Queen--based on three books by Philippa Gregory that tell three different sides of the same history; only in this case there’s several sides talking when you add Iarûr (Prologue of Book I) to the stories of Orothôn, Oropher, Thranduil and Legolas), I still have to decide at some point how long will it need to be to fit into the appendix or if it should just stand-alone.

I am still trying to decide whether to cut Book I in half as itself will contain two stories told by two elves--both crossing over at a pivotal event from one POV to another (hard to do especially I will have to eventually make that transition for all three of the original books). I do that, TKWRT won’t stand for TKWR Trilogy but TKWR Tetralogy. That won’t be decided until all three books are complete, though.

You are watching a novel in progress--I like to call it a reality show since readers are literally reading TKWR Trilogy in evolution. There’s is always something new coming around the corner and editing something like this requires someone that has flown over the Cuckoo’s Nest a few times and is literate in Tolkien Languages--especially Adûnaic. That hasn’t been added yet--nor has all of the Quenya. (Quenya is the hardest of the two Elven Languages known; That is why no one is out there selling “Learn Quenya” (even though Sindarin is Quendi for “Grey-Elven Language”). All the languages change with each new age/generation (as all languages do) which makes it impossible to say which “literary” version you are reading--and it gets worse with Tengwar where there’s far more to it than what most people think. 

Adûnaic is harder still, even though Akallabêth is “The Down Fallen” in Adûnaic in The Silmarillion. What you get to read now is my “short-hand” for some things in Sindarin that may be translated eventually into Quenya--especially in Eryn Galen. Oropher didn’t like Sindarin at all (hence why it was unknown whether Thranduil spoke it). There is a reason Oropher didn’t like it and unless you adore reading thousands of pages of Tolkien’s notes in the form of 12+ volumes of Middle Earth History and his other works, you won’t find that reason (mostly because Oropher is in only one book of all books dealing with ME Histories by Tolkien and he’s somewhere else altogether)--hence the reason my book will have a very large bibliography. Yeah, this is an in-depth book I’m writing. 😁 I’m a glutton for punishment.

So, that’s it for now; back to work. I have a bunch of elves stuck in Ossiriand for a moment waiting for a few baby elves to be old enough to continue the journey into the West (by “west” I mean some will get lazy somewhere around Beleriand and hang out in Doriath with King Thingol and his Queen Melian). Also, I’ve been advised to use my real name in order to get the accounts for this book and myself verified ✅. Thranduil has come a long, long way from where he started.--JMM (Jaynaé Marie Miller).

*The Lord of the Rings is actually not a trilogy. It was originally supposed to be six books--a hexalogy, so to speak. In fact, in the table of contents, you’ll notice that each of the “books” has “two books” within them.

Images: ©2013. Warner Brothers Pictures. The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug. All Rights Reserved.