#should send this post to colin angle

[macleod]

While this post couldn't be true at the time of posting, it could be true now.

iRobot Roombas now have LiDAR sensors (sensors that work similar to radar, but can often "see" through solid walls, cars, or objects without direct line of sight). Now, while I'm sure the strength of the ones they are using in the newest models, announced last month, could never reach or see to that distance shown in the OP (just a basic, reliable, mass-manufactured, embeddable, LIDAR sensor is $500+). But! It is possible some people will be able to start finding new-to-them doorways, closets, and openings to tunnels with the latest versions soon (-:

Later versions, if cost of development holds, could get down to the $75 range in a few years that could reach that depth, as the cost of a basic LIDAR sensor was $10k just a little over a decade ago. So, perhaps OP has a Roomba from the future, which could only mean one thing: They're on vacation, w/ a rented time-machine, and they are on their way to a time, way, way, way back in the day.

I love the idea of a roomba topography map being the jumping on point for a liminal horror story. House of Leaves II: Roomba.

[moldisgoodforyou]

no tattoos

wordcount: 1.7k

warnings: drunk sophie, hints of nsfw talk, etc

______

Rafe picked up Sophie’s facetime call to be greeted by his excited girlfriend and her talking conversationally in Spanish, albeit a little stilted as her drunk brain tried translating back and forth.

“Sophie -”

“Estoy bebiendo, hemos encontrado este vino por la sangria -” 

He laughed, shaking his head. “English, baby, please. Por favor.” 

“Oh! Fuck, sorry. I’m not sober.” She immediately switched back, bringing a nearly empty cup to her lips as she took him back into her room to momentarily escape the loud party. 

“I can tell. What’s up, just saying hi?” 

“Yeah!” She shut the door behind her and lifted up her shirt a little. ”Baby! Baby, look.” She angled the camera toward her leg, keeping it on selfie mode and hopped on one foot trying to show it correctly.

Rafe held back a smile. “Flip the camera, Soph.”

“No, no, I got it, look.” The camera finally focused in on the purple pen outlining the eventual tattoo, the initials R.C. done in her terrible drunken scrawl. (Her handwriting was pretty poor normally, but her drunk handwriting was much worse.) It was right above her hipbone and at least five inches tall, not at all what she would typically go for with a first tattoo.

He choked back a laugh, eyes wide in disbelief. “Oh my fucking god.”

She grinned and turned the camera back to her face. “What do you think?”

“That’s not - Sophie, you didn’t -” he fumbled with his words, feeling a weird mix of horror and also being turned on that she’d even consider tattooing his initials onto her forever, even if she was drunk.

“No, no, I’m next.” She nearly tripped as she walked back into the kitchen, showing a group of her friends crowded around a table, one of them giving stick and poke tattoos with a practiced ease. The phone was set down and abandoned for a few minutes, but he could hear Sophie accepting another shot with a giggle, her words taking on a pronounced slur.

Rafe waited patiently, straining a little to listen to the conversation.

“Were you talking to your boyfriend?”

“Wait, the one that gave you the ring?”

Sophie laughed and he could picture her grin. “Yeah, I was talking to Rafe. I’m gonna get his initials.” She pulled up her shirt a little to show off the sloppy outline and the girls squealed, both equally as drunk as her. “Oh my god, you can’t.”

“Why not!” Sophie exclaimed.

“What if you break up?”

“Oh, we won’t.” She replied, self-assured. He grinned at that.

“So do you think you’ll marry him?”

There was a brief silence and more giggles and Rafe desperately wished he could see her face. Unbeknownst to him, she nodded with a grin then picked the phone back up, her face tinged pink. 

“Hi! I forgot we were talking!” She took the phone back to her room to talk to him again. Sophie had a tendency of being spacey when she was drunk, often wandering off or just ending a conversation mid-sentence when she couldn’t remember the rest.

Rafe shook his head, trying his best not to laugh. “Sophie. Angel. Listen to me, very carefully, okay?”

She furrowed her brow. “Yes?”

“You cannot get that tattoo.”

She pouted, running her thumb over the ink and smearing it a little. “Why not?”

“Because, Soph. You’re hammered -”

“Am not! I can do a handstand, look, watch -”

“No no no, Soph, just listen to me, please -” he laughed, snapping to try and get her focus as she went to set the phone down and show off (he was a little concerned, especially because he wasn’t sure she could do a handstand sober). “Sophie Flint! Hey. Hey. Pay attention and listen. No tattoos.”

“You don’t like it.” She frowned, lip wobbling, and Rafe could feel the tears coming on. He paused, part endeared and part exasperated. “It’s - it’s not that, I just -”

“No, you hate it and you’re going to break up with me because you think I’m a bad artist and I could never open my own tattoo shop.” She sighed dramatically, a few stray tears spilling down her cheeks. 

“Jesus, what did you drink?” He muttered to himself, shaking his head. “I’m not breaking up with you, baby.” He couldn’t help but laugh, utterly confused. “Has this been some long standing dream I’ve never heard of?”

“You’re laughing at me!” She cried out, rubbing the heels of her hands hard against her eyes. “I’m a great artist.”

“Oh my god.” Rafe muttered, grinning. “Yes, you are. Hey, how about you wait, and - um -”

He grabbed a piece of paper from his desk and held it up. “Look, I’ll draw you the tattoo, but you have to wait until you get it in the mail. So you can copy it right.” He pretended to write his initials onto the paper, knowing he had zero intention of sending it to her.

“Oh. You mean it?” She sniffled, her tears long forgotten.

“I mean it. Nothing to cry over, baby.”

She nodded, swiping the back of her hand over her eyes to get rid of her tears. “You promise to send it? So I can have you with me forever?”

He swore he melted at that statement alone. “That’s why you wanted it?”

“Yeah. And ‘cause I miss you.” She paused. “I miss your dick too, but I’m not gonna get that tattooed on me.”

He laughed loudly at that, shaking his head. “I think that’s a solid plan. No tattoos tonight, okay?” 

“I’ll wait until you come out and we can both get each other’s. Oh!” Her face lit up and it was almost painful for him that she was so far away when she was in one of his favorite moods. “Yeah, Soph?” 

“You could get my signature, on your letters! The S and the halo!” 

He paused, thinking. “That’s not too bad.” 

“No, it’d be perfect. I want it over your heart. So everyone knows you’re mine.” She declared, tracing her idea over her own heart to demonstrate. 

“Okay. I’ll think about it. Go back to your party, angel, go have fun.” He urged, feeling better now that he’d talked her down from the tattoo ledge. 

“No, I miss you, I wanna talk.” She flopped down onto her bed and propped her phone up, then wrapped her arms around her pillow. “Last night one of my roommates brought some guy home from the bar and it’s not fair. You should be here so I don’t have to get off on my own.”

Rafe grinned, shaking his head. “You’re trouble.” 

“Am not.” She protested, then grinned. “Unless you want me to be. Then I can be trouble.”

“Keep your voice down, Soph.” He admonished, knowing she had a tendency of being loud when she was drunk. “Go drink some water for me.” 

“No. You know what’s bullshit?” She fished around in her nightstand drawer, looking for something. 

“What?” 

“Ah!” She held up a small drawstring bag. “My vibrator died last week -”

“Jesus Christ, woman -” 

“- and I can’t find a replacement anywhere online. The thing won’t charge here, I think I electrocuted it. Useless.” She tossed the bag across the bed, scowling. 

He was clearly strained, rubbing his temples. “Can we go back? Since when have you had a vibrator?” 

“Since, like, sophomore year.” 

“And I didn’t know about this, why?” 

She shrugged. “You never asked and I think I can probably count on my fingers how many times we had sex in my room last semester. What was I supposed to do, reach over and whip it out when we were fucking?” 

He laughed at her brash words and dropped his head in his hands, shifting in his seat. “You’re going to be the death of me, I swear.” 

Sophie waved her hand, ignoring his struggle. “Rafe, listen to me. That picture you posted with Colin, in the swim shorts, you’re holding the beer?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’ve literally never wanted to get down on my knees more.” 

He about choked, eyes going wide. “You can’t just say things like that without a warning, angel.” 

“I’m serious -”

“I’m sure you are.” He laughed, trying his best to ignore her tank top slipping off her shoulder and the way she licked her lips. 

“And when you come visit and we travel, I want to have sex in every country. Just so we can say we did.” She declared. 

“We’re only going to be in three, Soph. Including Spain.” He countered, attempting to switch the conversation for his own sake. 

She yawned, stretching, and her shirt slipped a little lower. “Okay, so we’ll just have to travel more together later. Fuck, I miss you.” 

“You too, baby.” He heard her name being yelled out in the background and laughed, raising his eyebrows. “Do you need to go?” 

“Prob’ly. More shots, you know how it goes.” She dragged herself up out of bed and glanced down at her shirt, sighing dramatically. “I gotta change, don’t I?” 

“No, you look great. Go have fun, I love you.” 

“No, no, I gotta change.” She insisted, pulling off her shirt with no hesitation and Rafe sucked in a breath, watching her hunt around through her laundry basket of clean clothes waiting to be folded. “You’re teasing.” 

“I’m not teasing, I have a bra.” She snapped the strap for emphasis. 

“You are teasing. I can see your underwear when you bend over, your skirt is short.” He laughed when she turned a little red and tugged it down. “You’re lying.” 

“I’m not. They’re pink with little red hearts on them.” He grinned. “Adorable.” 

“I’m not going to waste my good underwear when you’re not here.” She defended, then found the shirt she wanted. It was one of his from intramurals, with Cameron written out on the back. He held back a smirk when she tugged it on and it went to her thighs, her skirt barely peeking out under the hem. “Is this better?” 

“Yeah, you look beautiful.” He smiled. “Go back to your party.” Rafe paused, adding, “Tell Mateo I said hi.” 

“That’s weird, but alright.” She shrugged. “You be good, okay?” 

“I don’t think you’re the one that should be telling me that.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Have fun. If you go out, text me when you’re home again.” 

“Deal.” She blew him a kiss before waving and hanging up. 

taglist: @whoeveniskendall @kkmaybank @karsinner @outerbanksbro @outerbankspreferences @randomficsandshit @sunshineitsfine44 @jailcalledlife @tovvaa @moniamaybank @illbesafeforyou @dontjinx-it @freddymaybank @jjmaybankzz @g4bster @oopsiedoopsie23 @babygal-babygal @thecuthoney

[oscar-isaacs-number-one-bitch]

“Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” Movie Review

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is the direct sequel to 2015’s Jurassic World, as well as the fifth movie in the Jurassic Park franchise. Directing duties have shifted from Colin Trevorrow to A Monster Calls director J.A. Bayona, and this installment stars Bryce Dallas Howard and Chris Pratt once again as Claire (in a character shift from amusement park money-maker to dinosaur-rights activist) and Owen, the “action-hero-man” of the franchise whose character never shifts at all. Claire has been working tirelessly to save the dinosaurs from the active volcano island of Isla Nublar, arguing that they should be given the same rights as other animals due to their being living creatures. After the last film’s events, however, some of the world’s leading officials are not so sure this is a good idea, since each time mankind has attempted to control or interfere with the world’s natural order, disaster has struck (as evidenced by the failures of now two dinosaur parks). Eventually, both Claire and Owen are put on assignment to carry out a rescue mission to save the dinosaurs (Claire because she knows the park, Owen in order to rescue Blue, the raptor from the last movie). And, what we’re given here is what’s supposed to be a dumb, fun action movie that tries to be more than what it is and fails miserably at it, albeit with more style and grace in its failings than the previous installment.

I’m no keeper of secrets when it comes to movies I like or dislike despite any mass audience opinion to the contrary (love The Witch and Hereditary, dislike The Greatest Showman, Guardians of the Galaxy felt flat, etc.), so most people who have been following my reviews and general movie “thing” for a while know well enough that I didn’t really like the first Jurassic World. Sure, it was mindless entertainment and there were parts about it I enjoyed, but it seemed to take the “mindless” angle a little too much to heart, with a lazy script filled with lazy characters, an overabundance of filmmaking clichés, and what amounted to cardboard cutouts of villains, dialogue, plot progression, or basically anything that wasn’t purely spectacle-driven. In that vein, Fallen Kingdom has a lot of heavy lifting to do in terms of drudging this series back up where it rested after its predecessor was barely on-par with, or better than, The Lost World, but also in establishing J.A. Bayona as a legit director. And, for the most part, it really, truly fails. Luckily, that didn’t bother me as much this time around.

If there’s one thing Bayona can do with the best of them, it’s style and scale. This guy kills it at bringing larger than life visual creatures to screen and legitimately making them, well, larger than life. The sheer scope in Fallen Kingdom (for like the 15 minutes of the first act that they’re on the island at least) is breathtaking, and Bayona’s visual flourishes don’t just paint the dinosaurs as massive, but also majestic. The director’s understanding of scene geography is something to be commended here as well, as it nearly saves the movie from being ultimately worse than the first one. The visual effects have also been much improved on both a wide and a close-up scale. Do they rival the effects in the original Jurassic Park? Well, not really, but they’ve come to closest since to capturing not only the awe these creatures inspire, but the terror as well. The design of the new dino for this one is entirely frightening, and really highlights the “monster” aspect of these animals. (Side note: there was a moment in this film where I did legitimately start to tear up near the end of the first act and you will too, so good job on that one, movie.)

The performances in this film have also improved since last time. Bryce Dallas Howard getting to play a character that’s much less a product of corporate cartoon-isms and more of an at least two-dimensional character with her own agency without having to wear heels the whole time is a good step up, especially since it gives the actress more to do in terms of informing the character. Chris Pratt is also back, and while I wouldn’t say the character improved, his performance did; stripped of all the generic action hero Chris Pratt-isms that informed much of his character in the last film, it’s a lot less annoying to follow him and Howard around, despite the fact that, again, neither of their characters goes through the slightest bit of a personal growth arc, despite legitimate plot points brought up by this installment’s main villain that could have informed that sort of change.

Unfortunately, though, that’s where the positives essentially stop cold. This particular installment may have better style and less ultimately clichés running around (though it keeps the same bad editing), but it swaps decisions that used to be purely annoying for decisions that are purely stupid or forgettable. During the course of the film, especially the first act, it’s posited again and again that if these animals aren’t saved, they’ll go re-extinct, and humanity shouldn’t let that happen (notwithstanding the ecological and societal destruction they’ve already wreaked on their own enclosures and would eventually wreak on the world at large if not kept in an enclosure). Yet despite the number of times this is brought up, no one thinks to address the fact that they can just make more dinosaurs, as was the entire premise for this franchise’s now two series-starting films. They have the technology, they have the know-how, and they’re smart enough the acquire the funding to make more, and this never comes up.

In addition to this, the characters being less annoying apparently also meant stripping them of anything resembling what makes a character in the first place. Yeah, I know I said the performances were better, but that doesn’t make the characters better. It’s as if the writers of the previous film made the clichés and cartoon-ish behavior these people once carried the entire point of the characters in the first place, and without all of that, the characters are left to be deflated versions of what they once were; less annoying, but more underdeveloped.

There’s also a solution reveal to the extinction problem that’s played for what ends up being an insanely predictable twist to the point where one wonders if the characters were deliberately ignoring it just so a movie could happen (the “twist” is in the last trailer but the thing that leads to it is not…for some reason they thought that was a good idea instead of the reverse), but it ends up not only ripping a gaping hole in this film’s plot but in the first Jurassic World’s plot as well. One starts to wonder why they didn’t just go that route in the first place, given what’s meant to at first be this movie’s central conflict.

A lot of this has much more to do with the writing of the film than the production of it post-script, but no one thought to stop and question these glaring plot holes not just within the franchise, but within this entry? It’s entirely lazy writing that’s focused on making dinosaurs this big, philosophical talking point in the beginning (forgetting that they don’t have to be because they’re dinosaurs – that’s cool enough), then just wanting them to be mindless, dumb monsters in the end only for the sake of having an action-oriented finale. Not only does it not ultimately decide what message it wants to send (does it want humanity to not mess with nature or does it want us to campaign for animals rights), I don’t even know if it knows what message it’s trying to send, as the script is so fuddled and messy that there’s no clear emotional thru-line to follow. Oh, and in case you were thinking “yes, we finally get to see Ian Malcolm back in a Jurassic Park movie,” Jeff Goldblum amounts to nothing more than a cameo with the most generic dialogue in the film and none of the humor he brought to his previous appearances in the franchise, for a total screen-time of about 2 minutes, maybe less.

I went into this film not expecting much, given that I didn’t enjoy Bayona’s previous film, nor the previous film in this franchise, and maybe that’s why I was pleasantly surprised that I didn’t outright hate this movie. Sure, I wanted to like it, and I was hoping it would be good, but I wasn’t expecting that, so I was likely less disappointed than a lot of my fellow critics or audience members out there. Still, it can’t really be denied that while I personally enjoyed this film more, it is, on as objective of a level as art can be (which is not very, mind you), a worse film than the previous one, and worse than Bayona’s previous work as well. Sure, Jurassic World was mindless entertainment, but even though it did take the mindless part a little too seriously, it was still entertaining even after it was over. This one, while still entertaining (perhaps more so) and rid of the clichés that informed the first one (again, swapping them out for laziness), can’t be bothered to not rip apart at the seams once you’re done watching it. And even as unsurprising as that is, it’s still disappointing.

I’m giving “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” a 5.8/10

[abovethemists]

Holy shit, I'm just in the OUAT fandom for Rumbelle at this point and haven't watched the show in seasons, but even if that poor actress was actually playing Hook's new love interest (he's gross I hope they don't pair him with anyone) that behavior is disgusting. I'd say Mekia deserves all the care packages and fanmail the fandom can muster, except after this bullshit she should probably have any packages she does receive dumped unopened down the nearest incinerator. Fucking hell.

Well, I want to stress that it is not the CS fandom at large harassing her. Even if there are some people nervous about what they’ll do with Hook and whether he’ll have a new love interest, most are not sending hate to an actress whose relationship with Hook hasn’t been clarified and there’s no proof that there is one at all. There is an extremely entitled and vicious group on twitter that have been screaming ever since Jen left the show and have gotten more absurd over the hiatus. They are not indicative of the larger fandom. They are an extremely loud minority who is an embarrassment to the people they claim to speak for.

That said, as a fandom, it’s our job to drown these people out. The racist children don’t speak for Captain Swan and they don’t speak for the fandom as a whole. I hesitate to even call these twitter trolls “fans” because they’ve been saying vile things about Colin all summer for not quitting his job and for promoting the new season and just last week there was screaming that Jen was “lazy” for leaving the show and that Emma should be recast. These are the same people that were saying racist things about Karen David for posting BTS photos with Colin to her instagram last season and saying she was angling for a bigger role and trying to pair off Jasmine with Hook like she would have that kind of power. I hope everyone can tweet Mekia that they’re excited for her to take on the role of Tiana and wash the vile, racist hate out of her mentions. One of the biggest criticisms of this show over the years has been the lack of diversity in the main cast and the treatment of their guest star/recurring characters of color like Merlin, Lancelot, Mulan, Rapunzel etc. Now we have 4 new WOC actresses in the main cast and that’s something to be commended and celebrated not yelling at them that they aren’t your white fave. 

[kadobeclothing]

Cheltenham Festival racecard, tips and betting preview for Day 1 of the meeting today

OH yes, it’s here. Day 1 of the Festival is finally in sight and on a cracking opening day a wide-open Unibet Champion Hurdle is the feature. We’ve all got all you need to know about the biggest meeting of the year right here. 1Credit: Getty Images – Getty  Race 1 – 1.30 Sky Bet Supreme Novices’ Hurdle (Grade 1) It’s not a race to go wild in, you don’t want to be throwing all your eggs in one basket in the first of 28 races. The form is hard to weigh up and who knows what the ground will be like? But it’s a race the master Willie Mullins does well in and his Asterion Forlonge has rock solid claims here. Graded form is a god send in this race and he’s always shaped like a horse that stays well. Both are vital at Cheltenham. The likely favourite Shiskin could well be anything and Nicky Henderson has done nothing to slow the hype train. But at the odds I can’t be toying with a bet on him and he’s yet to be tested in anywhere near as deep water as this. He’ll have to be very good to win this. It’s his stablemate CHANTRY HOUSE that makes appeal. He’s another with no graded form but has only impressed in a bumper – where he stuffed Edwardstone – and in two novice hurdles where he won as he liked. He does has course form though and his win over Stolen Silver is smart. That horse has won a Grade 2 since and at the odds Chantry House has to be an each-way bet with bookies likely to pay out to five and six spots if you shop around. The above mentioned Edwardstone would be a great bet if it does stay dry before the opener. Colin Tizzard’s Fiddlerontheroof is rock solid and will be staying up the hill. He could also be one of the pace angles. The other with a great chance is Abacadabras. He’s short enough but hasn’t been talked up as much as some. His form behind Envoi Allen is as good as it gets though and he obviously won’t have his stablemate to deal with here. EACH-WAY SELECTION: Chantry House DANGER: Asterion Forlonge

Race 2 – 2.10 Racing Post Arkle Challenge Trophy Novices’ Chase (Grade 1) A field of eleven is set for the first chase of the Festival. Over in Ireland NOTEBOOK has been the two mile novice to beat all season and it’s only now a few have suddenly found some apparent chinks in the armour. Yes he wasn’t the smartest over hurdles in here, but this is a different game and he is a complete natural over his fences. He makes up yards for fun over them and Rachael Blackmore and Henry De Bromhead are in the middle of a dream season. He’s starting to drift out to a tidy enough price and it’s not a race I have an overly strong opinion on, but had this horse come from Willie Mullins, he’d be half the price. Talking of Mullins, he runs Cash Back here and he’s not without a chance. He only has three-quarters of a length to find with the favourite and Paul Townend now takes over. One that has been ignored at big odds is Harry Whittington’s Rouge Vif and if the ground does dry out at all, his chances will only increase. He jumps and travels for fun and on numbers is the second best horse in this, only a pound below Notebook in the ratings. According to the bookies Brewin’upastorm is the leading British hope. Olly Murphy’s horse has only been seen at Carlisle and Taunton this year though, and his jumping is yet to come under any pressure. He’s completely unexposed – as most of them are – but this will be far far tougher than anything he has come up against over fences. There is plenty of pace on too and he could be found out early if that is the case. Fakir D’oudairies has obvious claims for Joseph O’Brien. He was well beat by Notebook last time out, but is a fresher horse here and softer conditions will suit. If Notebook’s temperament does get the better of him, you can count on O’Brien having him A1 here. Also watch the betting, it could be JP McManus’s first big move of the meeting… SELECTION: Notebook EACH-WAY NOD: Rouge Vif OFFER OF THE DAY – BETFAIR New Customers get a £20 free on the Exchange if your first bet loses. 18+ T&C’s apply Begambleaware.org. BET NOW

Race 3 – 2.50 Ultima Handicap Chase (Grade 3) The puzzles really step up with the first big handicap of the week and a full field of 25 set to crack on. There’s no doubt that favourite Vinndication is a horse on the up and likely a Graded horse in a handicap. But this is no walk in the park and top weight in a handicap like this is far from ideal. When stepped up to three miles at Ascot last time he was a class apart and that was solid enough form with course specialist Regal Encore well beat in second. The ground will be no issue, but his price is the worry and why I look elsewhere. The one I want on side is Ben Pauling’s KILDISART who is made for a race like this. Conditions are a concern, with soft ground a problem, but let’s pray the heavens don’t open before 2.50 on Tuesday. He’s had a stop-start campaign, but is now only 2lbs higher than when he routed his rivals at Aintree last year. Cheekpieces are on and this would have been the plan a long way out. He beat the favourite Vinndication at the Festival last year. Irish raider Discorama’s claims are obvious. He was second here last year in the four-miler before a second to Delta Work. That’s nothing to be sniffed out in a handicap. At juicier odds Cobra De Mai is on a very dangerous mark if the Skelton team can get the fire to burn in him again. But a great each-way bet is Lucinda Russell’s Big River who was fourth in this race last year. He comes into it in better form this season and is only a pound higher in the weights. He stays all day and goes well here. There are worse bets around. SELECTION: Kildisart EACH-WAY SHOUT: Big River

Race 4 – 3.30 Unibet Champion Hurdle Challenge Trophy (Grade 1) Stick with the favourite here. EPATANTE could well be a class above this bang average field and there’s enough juice in that price. There are holes in her form, the biggest of all a complete no show at the Festival last year when a supposed good thing. But there were obvious excuses there and she’s the only one in this field with serious proven form this season and with the possibility of still having more to come. The 7lbs mares allowance is also a huge help… Stablemate Pentland Hills is the danger according to the bookies. But he’s yet to win this season and needs a minor wind-op to have worked a minor miracle. His worrying habit of not seeing out his races at Haydock and here the last twice is a huge worry. There’s not a chance he’ll be winning this with a repeat of those efforts. Supasundae has been spoken of in plenty of circles as a big player in this. I can’t argue with that but the price has dried up a tad now and it does show you how poor a year it is. But one that has been completely over-looked is Cornerstone Lad. If it comes up properly soft he has a right chance judged on his run at Haydock. He was giving heaps of weight away to Ballyandy and Pentland Hills and was beat less than a length. It would be one of the shocks in Festival history, but stranger things have happened and this is not a Champion Hurdle for the ages. If he doesn’t get his ground, keep your each-way dart for Sharjah who has another big race up his sleeve. SELECTION: Epatante EACH-WAY SELECTION: Cornerstone Lad

Race 5 – 4.10 Close Brothers Mares’ Hurdle (Grade 1) This race isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but with Benie Des Dieux and Honeysuckle both here, it will win a few over this time round. And it’s set up perfectly for BENIE DES DIEUX to make up for last year’s final flight hurdle and scoot home here. She is a different animal again this year, and while Honeysuckle means she will far from have it her own way, she should win. The return to this trip will suit Honeysuckle and she’ll be better than her last outing at Leopardstown. But this is her acid test and by far and away the best horse she has come up against. The softer it comes up the better the chance she has too. Get on. Last year’s winner Roksana has to be respected but she’s had a quiet year. Lady Buttons could be the one to trouble the judges at a bigger price. SELECTION: Benie Des Dieux DANGER: Honeysuckle

Race 6 – 4.50 Northern Trust Company Novices’ Handicap Chase (Listed) Another cracking handicap to get stuck into in the sixth. Top of my shortlist is Dan Skelton’s BEAKSTOWN who looks on a very tempting mark of 139. His jumping hasn’t been electric, but he’s been brought along steadily enough this year in some decent races. Form behind Sam Spinner, Champ and Mister Fisher is nothing to sniff at back in a handicap and he was a Grade 2 winner over hurdles. First time cheekpieces should hopefully sharpen him up and he looks a player. Long time antepost favourite Imperial Aura won’t be far away but he’s yet to win a proper race over fences and has been hiked up the handicap for his latest second. I wouldn’t have him down as this supposed ‘good thing’ like so many do although there can be no argument the form of his run behind Simply The Betts is red-hot form. Hold The Note is another horse you think could contest Graded races in the near future. But his new mark of 145 is a complete unknown on handicap debut. Champagne Court is worth another chance. He never quite got into it at Cheltenham last time and looked progressive prior to that fifth. Nicky Henderson has a decent hand to play here and of his Precious Cargo looks most interesting. He should have won at Newbury two runs ago and he was found out slightly at Warwick last time. Keep an eye on Rouge Vif in the Arkle as if he goes close, that run gets a huge mark up. SELECTION: Beakstown EACH-WAY SHOUT: Precious Cargo

Race 7 – 5.30 National Hunt Challenge Cup Amateur Riders’ Novices’ Chase (Grade 2) With Champagne Classic out of this, the race now completely revolves around Carefully Selected. He’s by far and away the best horse in this and has potential to get better, but his jumping has to come under serious scrutiny, especially at such short odds. He has stamina to burn and has the services of Patrick Mullins, but at near even money, I can let him win if that’s the case. There are 23 reasons I’d be taking him on, the fences. The top amateurs Jamie Codd and Derek O’Connor both hold claims on Ravenhill and Forza Milan. Having an able jockey is half the battle in this and they both have a big tick in that box. But they’ve been well found in the betting and the one at slightly bigger odds that makes appeal is LORD DU MESNIL. He stays and jumps well – a must in this – and has the services of Sam Waley-Cohen who knows his way around Cheltenham. The concern is that all his smart form has come at Haydock, but this is a marathon, not a sprint and stamina and jumping is the key rather than tactical speed. Some jockeys can get a bit over-excited, but with a Gold Cup winning jockey on his back, count on the dentist not to get sucked into that. Tom George’s Springfield Fox has improved by the bucket load but this is a big step up again. Newtide and Lamanever Pippin can’t be discounted for the home team. SELECTION: Lord Du Mesnil DANGER: Carefully Selected

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