#shrek: the tale of a puppet

[n0nam3fand0mch1ld]

Warning: Depicts a puppet being hanged even if it is drawn, so not see if you do not want to.

Hang the puppet.

Without the tint.

Takes place when Pinocchio was hanged by thieves.

The puppeteer gave Pinocchio new clothes after the child had torn theirs, an excuse for me to try a different color palette on him and try to mimic those midevil clothes.)

A au of mine called “The tales of a puppet” (do not question why I made one).

[larz-barz]

Shrek:

"Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from the dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true love's first kiss." [Laughing] Like that's ever gonna happen.

[Paper Rustling, Toilet Flushes]

Shrek:

What a load of--

[Toilet Door slams]

Shrek hops out his outhouse and his routine like taking a mud shower and farting in his pool.

[♪ All-Star By Smash Mouth Playing]

Steve Harwell:

♪ Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an "L" on her forehead. The years start comin', and they don't stop comin', fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin', didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with takin' the backstreets. You'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey, now, you're an all-star. Get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star. Get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold, only shootin' stars break the mold. It's a cool place, and they say it gets colder, you're bundled up now, but wait till you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ judging by the hole in the satellite picture. The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin, the water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire, how 'bout yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored. Hey, now, you're an all-star. ♪

[Shouting]

Steve Harwell:

♪ Get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star. Get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold, only shootin' stars break the mold. ♪

[Belches]

Villagers:

Go! Go!

[Record Scrating]

Steve Harwell:

♪ Go. Go. Go. Hey, now, you're an all-star. Get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold, only shootin' stars break the mold. ♪

Villagers:

Think it's in there? All right! Let's get it!

Villager 1:

Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing could do to you?

Villager 2:

Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.

Shrek:

[Laughs] Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres-- they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.

Villager 3:

No!

Shrek:

They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.

Villager 3:

Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!

[Gasping]

Villager 3:

Right.

[Roaring]

[Shouting]

[Roaring]

[Roaring Continues]

[Shouting Continues]

Shrek:

[Whispers] This is the part where you run away.

[Gasping]

Shrek:

[Laughs] [Laughing] And stay out! "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures." [Sighs]

Guard 1:

All right. This one's full. Take it away!

[Gasps]

Guard 2:

Move it along. Come on. Get up!

Captain of the Guards: Next!

Guard 3:

Give me that! Your flying days are over.

Captain of the Guards: That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next.

Guard 4:

Get up!

Captain of the Guards: Twenty pieces.

Guard 5:

Come on!

[Thudding]

Guard 6:

Sit down there! Keep quiet!

Bear:

[Crying] This cage is too small.

Donkey:

Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!

Old Lady:

Oh, shut up!

Donkey:

Oh!

Captain of the Guards: Next! What have you got?

Geppetto:

This little wooden puppet.

Pinocchio:

I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.

Captain of the Guards: Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

Pinocchio:

Father, please! Don't let them do this!

Captain of the Guards: Next.

Pinocchio:

Help me!

Captain of the Guards: What have you got?

Old Lady:

Well, I've got a talking donkey.

[Grunts]

Captain of the Guards: Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.

Old Lady:

Oh, go ahead, little fella.

Captain of the Guards: Well?

Old Lady:

Oh, oh, he's just-- He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt--

Captain of the Guards: That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!

Old Lady:

No, no, he talks! He does. [Moves Donkey’s lips] I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.

Captain of the Guards: Get her out of my sight.

Old Lady:

No, no! I swear. Oh! He can talk!

Donkey:

[Gasps] Hey, I can fly!

Peter Pan:

He can fly!

Pigs:

He can fly!

Captain of the Guards: He can talk!

Donkey:

Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking, donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't n

hehe >:3

love shrek frfr😌

[perfectlysunny02]

SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush) Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre. NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME MAN1 Think it's in there? MAN2 All right. Let's get it! MAN1 Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? MAN3 Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread. Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs. SHREK Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. MEN No! SHREK They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. MAN1 Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.) Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark. SHREK This is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.) THE NEXT DAY There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs. GUARD All right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up! HEAD GUARD Next! GUARD (taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half) HEAD GUARD That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! GUARD Get up! Come on! HEAD GUARD Twenty pieces. LITTLE BEAR (crying) This cage is too small. DONKEY Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! OLD WOMAN Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope) DONKEY Oh! HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got? GIPETTO This little wooden puppet. PINOCCHIO I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows) HEAD GUARD Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. PINOCCHIO Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me! Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table. HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got? OLD WOMAN Well, I've got a talking donkey. HEAD GUARD Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. OLD WOMAN Oh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her. HEAD GUARD Well? OLD WOMAN Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt... HEAD GUARD That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! OLD WOMAN No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. HEAD GUARD Get her out of my sight. OLD WOMAN No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly.

this was wild. do better.

[innocent-until-proven-geeky]

Not to have Thoughts about Shrek the Musical, but I think one of my favorite moments is in Donkey’s solo “don’t let me go” when Donkey tells Shrek, “You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak! … well, maybe you do.”

For one thing it’s just funny. When delivered well it makes the whole audience laugh.

But ALSO the whole musical is not so subtly about being marginalized and all the different ways people can be oppressed. Donkey is a talking donkey, Pinocchio is a walking talking puppet, Gingy is a talking gingerbread cookie. “I did some time in jail, I smell like sauerkraut,” and of course, Shrek is an ogre and Fiona is cursed to turn into one at sunset every day. There are SO many different fairy tale creatures that Farquaad has kicked out of Duloc, all for different reasons that ultimately add up to You Do Not Look And Act The Way I, The Person In Power, Want You To.

There are characters who are analogs for being queer, Jewish, disabled, and people of color, and there are characters that I can’t seem to tie to any one experience because they’re just there to show that people think being different is bad.

And Donkey says to Shrek, “You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak!” And it’s FUNNY because Shrek is an ogre, of COURSE he knows what it’s like—but it’s also kinda deep because sometimes, especially if you don’t have intersectional identities, we can forget that other people with identities we don’t have ARE considered “freaks” in modern society, although usually people don’t word it that way. As a white Christian, I don’t know what it’s like to be a person of color or to be Jewish, Muslim, or any other non-Christian—and Shrek doesn’t know what it’s like to be a talking donkey—but as a queer disabled AFAB person, I do know what it’s like to be oppressed in those ways—and Shrek knows what it’s like to be an ogre.

And I love that Donkey immediately realizes what he’s said and backtracks. He doesn’t apologize (because I think that would ruin the comedy and MOSTLY Shrek is a comedy), but he goes, “well, maybe you do!” Maybe even though you do not have MY experience of being a Freak™️ and I do not have YOUR experience of being a Freak™️, we are still both Freaks™️ together.

Like. This is why intersectionality is so important! This, and the fact that everything is linked and our oppression is designed to keep the people in power where they are, and also the fact that some people are at the intersection of different marginalized identities, like queer Jews or Muslims, or disabled people of color, or any other combination.

[mysterycharacterbracket]

FINAL RECAP POST

Tier 1 - First 44

300. 260. Puff Puff from Your Favorite Martian

299. 160. Maxil of Gallifrey from Doctor Who Arc of Infinity

298. 88. Nobody from scp foundation

297. 64. Jubei from Video Game (Blazblue)

296. 131. Nyssa from Doctor Who fused with Bulbasaur from Pokémon

295. 242. Rarity from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

294. 148. Garwin Chang from Kotlc

293. 103. William from Chad Smith: Life of a rich boy (webtoon), and more coming soon TBD

292. 244. Benrey from Half-life VR but the AI is self aware

291. 15. Flavio Who from the submitter's own memes

290. 70. Vislor Turlough from Doctor who (-_-)

289. 293. Lee Ping from Detentionaire

288. 19. Clay Puppington from Moral Orel

287. 211. The Puppeteer from Steldomo (aka an oc in a story the submitter wants to write)

286. 43. hatsune miku; colorful stage

285. 167. Hugtan / Hagumi / Cure Tomorrow from Hugtto Precure

284. 164. Dr Frankistein from Frankenstein (the book)

283. 60. Dr. Zoidberg from Futurama

282. 175. Sho Minamimoto from The World Ends With You

281. 28. Stacy Hirano from Phineas and Ferb!

280. 199. Dib Membrane from Invader Zim

279. 25. Loras Tyrell from A Song of Ice and Fire (NOT the show they fuckijgbmassacred his character)

278. 74. Candyman from Lethal League Blaze

277. 31. Kikiu from Tess of the Road

276. 191. Dazai Osamu from Bungou stray dogs

275. 185. Juta Tachibana from Otomen

274. 85. Jenny Jergens from Detentionnaire

273. 119. Theodore from The House in the Cerulean Sea

272. 95. Shirou Emiya from Fate/Stay Night

271. 124. Puss in Boots from Shrek

270. 137. Phantom Horn from Two Best Brothers Bitch About Ponies/Slime and Punishment/RowdyFuckers CopKillers Endless War (indirectly originatined in Sonichu as well, as slime and punushment is the cannonical ending to Sonichu, TBBBAP, and while not the end, is a cannonical story in RFCK)

269. 8. Greenland from Plague, Inc.

268. 233. Link from The Legend of Zelda: Minish Cap

267. 223. Scooby doo from Scooby doo

266. 156. Cricket from Wings of Fire

265. 10. Wilbur the pig from Charlotte's Web

264. 1. Cleopatra the 7th from Real life

263. 189. Colin Frazer from Doctor Who Arc of Infinity

262. 79. Peter Pan from Once Upon a Time

261. 240. Shiho Kobayakawa from Private Actress

260. 277. The Human Faced Fish from Shingi: The Spirit's Playbook

259. 84. Chopfyt (The Tin Man) from Oz

258. 250. Albedo from Ben 10

257. 257. Sam Lloyd/Sergei Lubovitch from The Diviners series

Tier 2 - Round of 256

256. 254. Andrew Ryan from Buoshck

255. 216. Nyssa õf Traken from Doctor who

254. 228. Asha from Iji

253. 22. Whisper Schnee from Boldores and Boomsticks

252. 253. Chuuya Nakahara from Bungou stray dogs

251. 18. Mapleshade from warrior cats

250. 190. Andrew Eldritch from real life

249. 120. sans undertale from undertale

248. 219. T-Rex from Jurassic Park

247. 141. Karkat Vantas from Homestuck

246. 53. Rasputin IV from X-Men

245. 20. Hunter | The Golden Guard from The Owl House

244. 7. Kim Dokja from Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint

243. 50. Death from Darksiders

242. 266. Dave Miller from Dsaf

241. 174. Dr. Miranda Jones from Star Trek: The Original Series

240. 274. donquixote doflamingo from one piece

239. 92. Hyakunosuke Ogata from Golden Kamuy

238. 11. Kha'Nel from Dragens Øye

237. 139. George Costanza from Seinfeld

236. 121. Rampage from Beast Wars

235. 62. ε (epsilon) from Mathematics, real life (kinda? Not sure maths qualifies as real life) ) (common phrase: Let ε>0 be any real number)

234. 134. BoJack Horseman from BoJack Horseman

233. 291. Juleka Couffaine from Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir

232. 129. Flavio Rezza (MC Flava) from real life

231. 215. Goodtimewithscar or Scar for short (the minecraft youtuber)

230. 186. Percy Weasley from Harry Potter

229. 170. claude frollo from the hunchback of notre dame (specifically the stage musical)

228. 217. Grian from Life Series (3rd/Last/Double/Limited Life)

227. 168. the submitter from real life

226. 269. Mizi from Alien Stage

225. 96. Robin Stuart from Arc of Infinity (Doctor Who)

224. 172. Tessa Minsky from Imogen, Obviously

223. 267. Ea-nasir (real life copper merchant - 1750 BCE)

222. 37. Kokichi Ouma from Danganronpa V3

221. 147. Rose Lavillant from Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir

220. 135. Fiver from Watership down

219. 251. Keith Kogane from Voltron

218. 63. Cricket from Wings of Fire

217. 146. Adric of Alzarius from Doctor Who

216. 177. Mort from the Madagascar Movies/All Hail King Julian

215. 59. Edward Elric from Fullmetal metal alchemist

214. 290. Jimmy Solidarity from The Empires smp

213. 259. rayla from the dragon prince

212. 205. Starfy from The Legendary Starfy

211. 232. Taako from The Adventure Zone

210. 188. Hatsune Miku from Vocaloid

209/208. 182. Matt Murdock from Daredevil (Netflix)

209/208. 107. Ted Kord from DC comics

207. 86. Juleka Couffaine from Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir

206. 27. Sailor Saturn from Sailor Moon

205. 197. Marc Anciel from Miraculous Ladybug

204. 159. Yona from Yona of the Dawn

203. 220. David Chiem from Danganronpa: Despair Time

202. 125. Tynan from Aurora Webcomic

201. 169. Kid Blink from Newsies

200. 128. π (pi) from Mathematics (as in half a circle of radius 1)

199. 275. Zee from Total Drama 2023

198. 278. Flynn Moore from Echo (the furry vn)

197. 270. Caim Tivh from Mørkalven

196. 195. Grendel, The Grimm General from Boldores and Boomsticks

195. 280. Hermie the Unworthy from Dungeons and Daddies

194. 181. Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way from My Immortal

193. 247. Monkey D Luffy from One Piece

Tier 3 - Round of 192

192. 68. Jacopo Bearzatti from The House in Fata Morgana

191. 117. Pugsley Guttman from From the animated series Dead End: Paranormal Park

190. 57. Maglor from the Silmarillion

189. 203. Al-An from Subnautica: Below Zero

188. 112. Hercule Poirot from Agatha Christie-verse (???)

187. 122. Rampage from Beast Wars

186. 284. Callie Cuttlefish from Splatoon 1-3

185. 61. Ranpo Edogawa from Bungou Stray Dogs

184. 123. Emil from Nier series

183. 157. vriska from homestuck

182. 213. Brainy Smurf from The Smurfs

181. 36. Doppo Kannonzaka from Hypnosis Mic

180. 38. Diane Nguyen from BoJack Horseman

179. 32. Serial Designation N from Murder Drones

178. 29. Morgrem from Pokemon

177. 17. Joy Wang/Jobu Tupaki from Everything Everywhere All at Once

176. 54. Rex Salazar from Generator Rex

175. 161. Huan from The Silmarillion

174. 225. meg from megahex comic series

173. 136. [redacted] / trivia murder party host from jackbox; trivia murder party

172. 42. Toshiko Sato from Torchwood

171. 106. Veeva Dash from Stampy's Lovely World

170. 39. gaheris from arthuriana

169. 287. waylon smithers jr from the simpsons

168. 77. Nathaniel Kurtzberg from Miraculous Ladybug

167. 89. Pit from Kid Icarus

166. 82. Tsurugi Kyousuke / Victor Blade from Inazuma Eleven GO

165. 171. Danhausen from Professional wrestling

164. 3. Maia Drahzar/Edrehasivar VII from The Goblin Emperor

163. 165. Taranee Cook from W.i.t.c.h.

162. 207. Ardyn "Izunia" Lucis Caelum from Final Fantasy XV

161. 132. Invader Zim from Invader Zim

160. 94. Mumbo Jumbo from Real Life/Mcyt

159. 208. Garwin Chang from Keeper of the Lost Cities

158. 78. Aya Burnstein from Dancing In The Devils Auditorium, by xxangelxbl00dxx(the OP) on ao3

157. 230. Nintendo EShop Bag from Nintendo EShop

156. 234. Logan(Logic) from Sanders Sides

155. 261. Eridan Ampora from Homestuck

154. 235. Markiplier from Real Life

153. 138. Hajime Hinata from Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair

152. 264. Bao-Dur from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2

151. 71. Fabian Seacaster from Fantasy High (Dimension 20)

150. 283. Bruno Madrigal from Encanto

149. 13. The Fifth Doctor from Doctor Who

148. 155. Tegan Jovanka from Doctor Who

147. 273. Lynne from Ghost Trick

146. 130. Hoshina Hikaru (Cure Star) from Star Twinkle Pretty Cure

145. 81. Damon of Gallifrey from Doctor Who Arc of Infinity

144. 239. "Phoenix" from iiRitW, the OP's ORIGINAL (sob) wip videogame

143. 115. Sound Saran from My School President

142. 149. data from star trek the next generation

141. 2. Iruma-kun from Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun

140. 256. Akane Kurashiki from Zero Escape

139. 104. Usagi Tsukino/Sailor Moon from Sailor Moon

138. 91. Kuromi from Sanrio

137. 158. Corazón de Ballena from Oxventure

136. 192. Milo Murphy from Milo Murphy's Law

135. 105. Alice Price Healy from Incryptid

134. 48. Raven Scofflaw from the submitter's OC from a wip that currently has the filler title 'Family'

133. 187. Vash the Stampede from Trigun

132. 206. Ben from the submitter's OC with almost zero information about lmao (this will change once I update artfight?)

131. 66. Natsuki Subaru from Re:Zero

130. 126. Geralt of Rivia from The Witcher

129. 255. Kevin from Ghost Host Ghost House

Tier 4 - Round of 128

128. 116. Pancho from All Hail King Julien!

127. 110. Kento from Payday 2

126. 113. Grantaire from Les Miserables

125. 65. Lexcanium from Wasteland 2

124. 297. Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars

123. 263. Chocolat Aizawa from Chocolat no Mahou

121/122. 153. Syv from Snøkattprinsen/The Snowcat Prince

121/122. 299. Adam Tyler from the Firewatching series

120. 83. Imogen Scott from Imogen, Obviously

119. 152. Garwin Chang from Keeper of the Lost Cities

118. 198. Sylvio Sawatari from Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc V

117. 295. Pheonix Wright from Ace Attorney

116. 221. Prince Tarte (full name so long even he can't remember all of it) from Fresh Precure

115. 286. Ingo from Pokemon Legends Arceus

114. 279. The Collector from The Owl House

113. 227. Guildmaster Wigglytuff from Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky

112. 99. Nanako Dojima from Persona 4

111. 262. Lunar from The sun and moon show

110. 143. the doctor (could just be the 10th doctor if thats too broad) from doctor who

109. 108. Don Quixote from Limbus Company

108. 46. Chiono from Steldomo (aka an oc in a story the submitter wants to write)

107. 236. the Doctor from Doctor Who

106. 45. Hao Asakura from Shaman King

105. 16. Tatsuya Suou from Persona 2

104. 194. Magic Brian from The Adventure Zone: Balance

103. 229. ronan lynch from the raven cycle

102. 58. Todd Chavez from BoJack Horseman

101. 252. Susan Sto Helit from The Discworld series

100. 12. Baljeet Tjinder from Phineas and Ferb

99. 271. Manga Fukidashi from My hero academia

98. 238. Cure Lovely/Megumi Aino from Happiness Charge Precure

97. 154. Nate Ford from Leverage

Tier 5 - Round of 96

96. 210. Melanie King from The Magnus Archives

95. 241. Vriska Serket from Homestuck

94. 93. Cure Passion from Fresh Precure

93. 44. Stanford Pines from Gravity Falls

92. 265. Otome from Video game (Gnosia)

91. 173. Lucian Lockhart from the submitter's imagination

90. 4. Pyotr 'Pierre' Bezukhov from War and Peace

89. 6. Mia "Maps" Mizoguchi from Gotham Academy/DC Comics

88. 76. Meridius from Venom

87. 268. daniil dankovsky from pathologic

86. 55. Nona from Nona the Ninth (book)

85. 24. Prince Peasely from Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga

84. 298. IMOGEN from stellar firma

83. 52. Jordyn Khaos from The chronicles of Destiny

82. 166. Gideon Nav from The Locked Tomb

81. 282. Obi from Snow White with the Red Hair

80. 281. Dalinar Kholin from Stormlight Archive

79. 140. Tim Drake from DC Comics, Batman Comics

78. 248. Brightheart from Warriors

77. 23. Garwin Chang from Keeper of the Lost cities

76. 109. Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist

75. 289. Ken Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul

74. 114. Vinnie Dakota from Milo Murphy's Law

73. 14. Jin Macchiato from Fuga: Melodies of Steel

72. 101. Hendry Lowe from All of Us Villains

71. 212. Annabel McAllistair from Dolls of new albion

70. 258. Sanji from One piece

69. 214. God from the Bible

68. 73. Kosane Kiriha from Null Magical Girl

67. 218. Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit

66. 118. anakin skywalker from star wars

65. 90. Adina Astra from Lost Constellation (Night in the Woods Supplemental)

Tier 6 - Round of 64

64. 35. Larten Crepsley from The Saga of Darren Shan

63. 49. Eda Clawthorne from The Owl House

62. 26. Perona from One Piece

61. 47. Bain from Payday: the Heist and Payday 2

60. 144. Heiji Hattori from Detective Conan

59. 41. Maglor from The Silmarillion

58. 237. Carrot from The Discworld series

57. 179. John from Malevolent (podcast)

56. 226. Katarina Claes from My Next Life as a Villianess

55. 127. five hargreeves from the umbrella academy

54. 196. Dragon from Parahumans

53. 102. Vanessa Santoro from Fablehaven book series

52. 150. James Flint from Black Sails

51. 180. Sasha Rackett from Rusty Quill Gaming

50. 249. Donna Noble from Doctor Who

49. 178. Beauregard Lionett from Critical Role

Tier 7 - Second bracket

48. 151. Zisu from Pokemon Legends Arceus

47. 209. Prince Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender

46. 56. Canute from Vinland Saga

45. 183. otto octavius / doc ock from spiderman 2

44. 204. Kim Dokja from Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint

43. 33. Mihashi Ren from Ookiku Furikabutte (Big Windup!)

42. 100. The original char aznable from Gundam

41. 51. Percy Weasley from Harry Potter

40. 292. akagi shigeru from akagi

39. 202. Douglas F. Eiffel from Wolf 359

38. 80. Marty Mikalski from The Cabin in the Woods, 2011

37. 142. The Reaper from Death's door

36. 184. Thors from Vinland Saga

35. 200. Ryoma Hoshi from Danganronpa

34. 75. Darth Maul from Star Wars

33. 243. Kim Theerapanyakul from Kinnporsche The Series

Tier 8 - Round of 32

32. 34. Godzilla from Godzilla

31. 300 Baljeet Tjinder from Phineas and Ferb

30. 245. Duck Newton from The Adventure Zone: Amnesty

29. 145. Gakushuu Asano from Assassination Classroom

28. 30. Natsume Takashi from Natsume's Book of Friends

27. 276. Nona from The Locked Tomb series

26. 87. Cordelia Gallo from Gosick

25. 162. Richard Spender from Paranatural

Tier 9 - Round of 24

24. 296. Horse from Centaurworld

23. 40. charlie kelly from its always sunny in philadelphia

22. 294. Warren Peace from Sky High

21. 176. Percy Weasley from Harry Potter

20. 285. Daisy Wells from Murder Most Unladylike (book series)

19. 201. zane from lego ninjago

18. 9. Tin from Triage

17. 111. Kelsier from Mistborn

Tier 10 - Sweet 16

16. 98. Fujiwara no Sai from Hikaru no Go

15. 133. Megamind from Megamind

14. 97. V from Devil May Cry

13. 69. Vegas Theerapanyakul from Kinnporsche: The Series

Tier 11 - Top Twelve

12. 193. The Obituary Writer from Death By Dying

11. 163. hollyleaf from warrior cats

10. 72. King Clawthorne from The Owl House

9. 288. Vin from Mistborn

Tier 12 - Elite Eight

8. 222. Galacta Knight from Kirby

7. 224. Metal Sonic from Sonic Series

Tier 13 - Final bracket

6. 272. Ilke from Phenomena

5. 231. Maika Halfwolf from Monstress

Tier 14 - Final Four

4. 246. Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney

Tier 15 - Thrilling Three

3. 21. Olenna Tyrell from A Song of Ice and Fire

Tier 16 - Top Two

2. 5. Parker from Leverage

Tier 17 - Only One

1. 67. Sophie Foster from Keeper of the lost cities

[du-ub]

Hold onto your hats it’s a du-ub Doozey

Shrek Script

{Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess.

But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only

be broken by love's first kiss.

She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing

dragon.

Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison,

but non prevailed.

She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest

tower for her true love and true love's first kiss.

{Laughing}

Like that's ever gonna happen.

{Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes}

What a load of -

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb

In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

The years start comin' and they don't stop comin'

Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin'

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see

So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets

You'll never know if you don't go

You'll never shine if you don't glow

Hey, now You're an all-star

Get your game on, go play

Hey, now You're a rock star

Get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shootin' stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder

You're bundled up now but wait till you get older

But the meteor men beg to differ

Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin

The water's getting warm so you might as well swim

My world's on fire

How 'bout yours

That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored

Hey, now, you're an all-star

{Shouting}

Get your game on, go play

Hey, now You're a rock star

Get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shootin' stars break the mold

{Belches}

Go!

Go!

{Record Scratching}

Go. Go.Go.

Hey, now, you're an all-star

Get your game on, go play

Hey, now You're a rock star

Get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shootin' stars break the mold

-Think it's in there?

-All right. Let's get it!

-Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?

-Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.

{Laughs}

-Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint.

Now, ogres - - They're much worse.

They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.

-No!

-They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!

Actually, it's quite good on toast.

-Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!

{Gasping}

-Right.

{Roaring}

{Shouting}

{Roaring}

{Whispers} This is the part where you run away.

{Gasping}

{Laughs}

{Laughing} And stay out!

"Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."

{Sighs}

{Man's voice} All right. This one's full.

-Take it away!

{Gasps}

-Move it along. Come on! Get up!

-Next!

-Give me that! Your fiying days are over.

That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!

-Get up! Come on!

-Twenty pieces.

{Thudding}

-Sit down there!

-Keep quiet!

{Crying}

-This cage is too small.

-Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again.

I can change. Please! Give me another chance!

-Oh, shut up.

-Oh!

-Next!

-What have you got?

-This little wooden puppet.

-I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.

-Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

-Father, please! Don't let them do this!

-Help me!

-Next! What have you got?

-Well, I've got a talking donkey.

{Grunts}

-Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.

-Oh, go ahead, little fella.

-Well?

-Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous.

He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - -

-That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!

-No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk.

I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.

-Get her out of my sight.

-No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!

{Gasps}

-Hey! I can fly!

-He can fly!

-He can fly!

-He can talk!

-Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey.

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly

but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha!

Oh-oh.

{Grunts}

-Seize him!

-After him! He's getting away!

{Grunts, Gasps}

{Man}

-Get him! This way! Turn!

-You there. Orge!

-Aye?

-By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under

arrest

and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility.

-Oh, really? You and what army?

{Gasps, Whimpering}

{Chuckles}

-Can I say something to you?

-Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here.

Incredible!

Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa!

-Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great

back here? Those guards!

They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They

was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made

me feel good to see that.

-Oh, that's great. Really.

-Man, it's good to be free.

-Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends?

Hmm?

-But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by

myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you.

You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit

out of anybody that crosses us.

{Roaring}

-Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that

don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you

definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks!

You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - -

{Mumbling}

Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my

butt that day.

-Why are you following me?

-I'll tell you why.

'Cause I'm all alone

There's no one here beside me

My promlems have all gone

There's no one to deride me

But you gotta heve friends - -

-Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends.

-Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.

-Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?

-Uh - - Really tall?

-No! I'm an orge! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't

that bother you?

-Nope.

-Really?

-Really, really.

-Oh.

-Man, I like you. What's you name?

-Uh, Shrek.

-Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek?

You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing.

I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that.

Who'd want to live in place like that?

-That would be my home.

-Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a

decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I

like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.

-I guess you don't entertain much, do you?

-I like my privacy.

-You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I

hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them

a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence.

-Can I stay with you?

-Uh, what?

-Can I stay with you, please?

-Of course!

-Really?

-No.

-Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to

be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta

stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!

-Okay! Okay! But one night only.

-Ah! Thank you!

-What are you - - No! No!

-This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories,

and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.

-Oh!

-Where do, uh, I sleep?

-Outside!

-Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you

don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know.

{Sniffles}

-Here I go.

-Good night.

{Sighs}

-I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside.

I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself,

outside.

[little-big-batbag]

LittleBigBat's Favorites Brawler

Okay, so, I'm just gonna list out every franchise associated with this silly little fan thing.

The Core Five: you know em. Riordanverse/Camp Half-Blood/Percy Jackson, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, DC Comics, Hatchetfield, and LittleBigPlanet.

their subfranchises: The Kane Chronicles (TBA), Magnus Chase (TBA), Batman 1989/Returns/Forever/& Robin, Vertigo Comics, DC Animated Universe, Teen Titans Animated, The Batman 2004, Batman: The Brave and the Bold, Batman: Arkham, The Batman 2022, Dead Boy Detectives.

Games: Super Mario, R.O.B., The Legend of Zelda, Bubble Bobble, Kid Icarus, EarthBound, Fire Emblem, Sonic the Hedgehog, Kirby, Pokémon, MediEvil, Super Smash Bros., Ape Escape, Animal Crossing, Golden Sun, Ace Attorney, Pikmin, Shadow of the Colossus, BioShock, Portal, Minecraft, inFAMOUS, Gravity Rush, Astro Bot, ASTRAL CHAIN, Hades

Live-Action Film: The Wizard of Oz/Oz, Star Wars, TRON, Beetlejuice, The Matrix, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Animated Film: Hercules, Mulan, Lilo & Stitch, Wreck-It Ralph

Cartoons: Scooby-Doo!, SpongeBob SquarePants, My Life as a Teenage Robot, Danny Phantom, Avatar: The Last Airbender (The Legend of Korra sub-franchise), Phineas and Ferb, Adventure Time, Generator Rex, The Amazing World of Gumball, Gravity Falls, Steven Universe,

Etc: Grishaverse/Six of Crows, Summoner Trilogy, Marvel Comics, Spies are Forever, Drawtectives/Drawfee Show, LEGO

Non-fighter: Little Shop of Horrors, Clue, Jurassic Park, Night at the Museum, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Encanto, Over the Garden Wall, Infinity Train, Scavengers Reign, The Amazing Digital Circus, Rampage, Cookie Run, Stardew Valley, Snipperclips, Concrete Genie, Grounded, Cats, Ride the Cyclone, Sym-Bionic Titan, Scribblenauts, Untitled Goose Game, A Plague Tale

TBA: Ghost Trick, Ratchet & Clank, Digimon, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Uncharted, Assassin's Creed, Sly Cooper, Watch Dogs, Tearaway, Journey, Ben 10, Invader Zim, El Tigre, Samurai Jack, Johnny Bravo, Chowder, Jentry Chau, Middle-Earth, Heavenly Sword, God of War, The Sims, Sin & Punishment, Donkey Kong, Famicom Detective Club, Ultraman, Puppeteer, Alan Wake, Control, The Secret Saturdays, PAC-MAN, Treasure Planet, The Mummy 1999, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Emperor's New Groove, Shrek, many many more

[overfedvenison]

New Shrek looks kinda questionable, but new Puss in Boots looked great even from early trailers I think it might be less nostalgia, and more that Shrek's bit - That of a pop-culture reference-y world which mocks a lot of classic animation - is just sorta dated now. It looks to be doing the exact same bits, but it seems like the world has changed around it. Culture moves quickly, and so jokes are dated by the time things hit theatres, and I feel like people are craving a certain earnesty from animated media nowadays, whereas in the 2000s animation had to be taken down a peg... And just like... The whole Fairy Tale thing is rare now. I don't know if Shrek's setting still means anything. It strikes me as an uphill battle. If it maintains it's 'criticism of Disney' leanings it could actually be good though. Nowadays we are seeing a lot of Disney media sorta puppeteer the corpses of their classic movies and sell franchises as product and not art. There's a lot there if they want to sledgehammer an institution.

[goobybro]

trick or treeeat

TRICK

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love’s first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon’s keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love’s first kiss. (laughs) Like that’s ever gonna happen. What a load of – (toilet flush)

Allstar – by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre.

NIGHT – NEAR SHREK’S HOME

MAN1 Think it’s in there?

MAN2 All right. Let’s get it!

MAN1 Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?

MAN3 Yeah, it’ll grind your bones for it’s bread.

Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.

SHREK Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they’re much worse. They’ll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.

MEN No!

SHREK They’ll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it’s quite good on toast.

MAN1 Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.)

Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark.

SHREK This is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) “Wanted. Fairy tale creatures.”(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder)

THE NEXT DAY

There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who’s carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs.

GUARD All right. This one’s full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!

HEAD GUARD Next!

GUARD (taking the witch’s broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)

HEAD GUARD That’s 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!

GUARD Get up! Come on!

HEAD GUARD Twenty pieces.

LITTLE BEAR (crying) This cage is too small.

DONKEY Please, don’t turn me in. I’ll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!

OLD WOMAN Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope)

DONKEY Oh!

HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got?

GIPETTO This little wooden puppet.

PINOCCHIO I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy. (his nose grows)

HEAD GUARD Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

PINOCCHIO Father, please! Don’t let them do this! Help me!

Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table.

HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got?

OLD WOMAN Well, I’ve got a talking donkey.

HEAD GUARD Right. Well, that’s good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.

OLD WOMAN Oh, go ahead, little fella.

Donkey just looks up at her.

HEAD GUARD Well?

OLD WOMAN Oh, oh, he’s just…he’s just a little nervous. He’s really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt…

HEAD GUARD That’s it. I’ve heard enough. Guards!

OLD WOMAN No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I’m the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.

HEAD GUARD Get her out of my sight.

OLD WOMAN No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!

The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan’s hands, and her cage drops on Donkey’s head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he’s able to fly.

DONKEY Hey! I can fly!

PETER PAN He can fly!

3 LITTLE PIGS He can fly!

HEAD GUARD He can talk!

DONKEY Ha, ha! That’s right, fool! Now I’m a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.)

He hits the ground with a thud.

HEAD GUARD Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him!

GUARDS He’s getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!

Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek.

HEAD GUARD You there. Ogre!

SHREK Aye?

HEAD GUARD By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility.

SHREK Oh, really? You and what army?

He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage.

DONKEY Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin’ back here. Incredible!

SHREK Are you talkin’ to…(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa!

DONKEY Yes. I was talkin’ to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin’ over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.

SHREK Oh, that’s great. Really.

DONKEY Man, it’s good to be free.

SHREK Now, why don’t you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?

DONKEY But, uh, I don’t have any friends. And I’m not goin’ out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I’ll stick with you. You’re mean, green, fightin’ machine. Together we’ll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.

Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly.

DONKEY Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don’t mind me sayin’, if that don’t work, your breath certainly will get the job done, ’cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, ’cause you breath stinks! You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time…(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey continues to talk, so Shrek removes his hand.) …then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day.

SHREK Why are you following me?

DONKEY I’ll tell you why. (singing) ‘Cause I’m all alone, There’s no one here beside me, My problems have all gone, There’s no one to deride me, But you gotta have faith…

SHREK Stop singing! It’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.

DONKEY Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.

SHREK Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?

DONKEY (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh …really tall?

SHREK No! I’m an ogre! You know. “Grab your torch and pitchforks.” Doesn’t that bother you?

DONKEY Nope.

SHREK Really?

DONKEY Really, really.

SHREK Oh.

DONKEY Man, I like you. What’s you name?

SHREK Uh, Shrek.

DONKEY Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don’t-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. (They come over a hill and you can see Shrek’s cottage.) Whoa! Look at that. Who’d want to live in place like that?

SHREK That would be my home.

DONKEY Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It’s amazing what you’ve done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess you don’t entertain much, do you?

SHREK I like my privacy.

DONKEY You know, I do too. That’s another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You’ve trying to give them a hint, and they won’t leave. There’s that awkward silence. (awkward silence) Can I stay with you?

SHREK Uh, what?

DONKEY Can I stay with you, please?

SHREK (sarcastically) Of course!

DONKEY Really?

SHREK No.

DONKEY Please! I don’t wanna go back there! You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak. (pause while he looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do. But that’s why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!

SHREK Okay! Okay! But one night only.

DONKEY Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage)

SHREK What are you…? (Donkey hops up onto a chair.) No! No!

DONKEY This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin’ manly stories, and in the mornin’ I’m makin’ waffles.

SHREK Oh!

DONKEY Where do, uh, I sleep?

SHREK (irritated) Outside!

DONKEY Oh, well, I guess that’s cool. I mean, I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do like the outdoors. I’m a donkey. I was born outside. I’ll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. I’m all alone…there’s no one here beside me…

SHREK’S COTTAGE – NIGHT

Shrek is getting ready for dinner. He sits himself down and lights a candle made out of earwax. He begins to eat when he hears a noise. He stands up with a huff.

SHREK (to Donkey) I thought I told you to stay outside.

DONKEY (from the window) I am outside.

There is another noise and Shrek turns to find the person that made the noise. He sees several shadows moving. He finally turns and spots 3 blind mice on his table.

BLIND MOUSE1 Well, gents, it’s a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have?

BLIND MOUSE2 It’s not home, but it’ll do just fine.

GORDO (bouncing on a slug) What a lovely bed.

SHREK Got ya. (Grabs a mouse, but it escapes and lands on his shoulder.)

GORDO I found some cheese. (bites Shrek’s ear)

SHREK Ow!

GORDO Blah! Awful stuff.

BLIND MOUSE1 Is that you, Gordo?

GORDO How did you know?

SHREK Enough! (he grabs the 3 mice) What are you doing in my house? (He gets bumped from behind and he drops the mice.) Hey! (he turns and sees the Seven Dwarves with Snow White on the table.) Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table.

DWARF Where are we supposed to put her? The bed’s taken.

SHREK Huh?

Shrek marches over to the bedroom and throws back the curtain. The Big Bad Wolf is sitting in the bed. The wolf just looks at him.

BIG BAD WOLF What?

TIME LAPSE

Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging him to the front door.

SHREK I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I’m a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do get a little privacy? (He opens the front door to throw the Wolf out and he sees that all the collected Fairy Tale Creatures are on his land.) Oh, no. No! No!

The 3 bears sit around the fire, the pied piper is playing his pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can land…etc.

SHREK What are you doing in my swamp? (this echoes and everyone falls silent.)

Gasps are heard all around. The 3 good fairies hide inside a tent.

SHREK All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let’s go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! Quickly. Come on! (more dwarves run inside the house) No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there. (they shut the door on him) Oh! (turns to look at Donkey)

DONKEY Hey, don’t look at me. I didn’t invite them.

PINOCCHIO Oh, gosh, no one invited us.

SHREK What?

PINOCCHIO We were forced to come here.

SHREK (flabbergasted) By who?

LITTLE PIG Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed and he…signed an eviction notice.

SHREK (heavy sigh) All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is?

Everyone looks around at each other but no one answers.

DONKEY Oh, I do. I know where he is.

SHREK Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all?

DONKEY Me! Me!

SHREK Anyone?

DONKEY Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!

SHREK (sigh) Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I’m gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from! (Pause. Then the crowd goes wild.) Oh! (to Donkey) You! You’re comin’ with me.

DONKEY All right, that’s what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it!

DONKEY (singing) On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek. I can’t wait to get on the road again.

SHREK What did I say about singing?

DONKEY Can I whistle?

SHREK No.

DONKEY Can I hum it?

SHREK All right, hum it.

Donkey begins to hum ‘On the Road Again’.

[n0nam3fand0mch1ld]

An idea in my head about my Shrek au (also there will be swearing)

Puss in boots:….I do not eat fis-

Pinocchio:DieDieDieDieDie!Die you sea B1tch DIE

Shrek:Pinocchio,why are you stabbing the fish.Did something happen while you were gone at sea

Pinocchio:

Flashback

End of flashback

Pinocchio:

Pinocchio:I do not like fish

——————————————

Explanation:So Pinocchio is attacking the dogfish (aka the lady of the sea in my au) after he weakened her by blowing some parts of her up with some fire bomb they found inside of her (it is different than the original due to this being based on the GDT version).Now he is chasing her with his nose by lying so many times then breaking it off himself to use as a make shift sword.Gee, why does the blue fae look like that.I wonder…Not right now.

[demigod-jack-hearth]

SHREK SCRIPT

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by Love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. Like that's ever going to happen. What a loony. Shrek Beware Stay out I think he's in here. All right. Lets get it! Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? Yeah. He'll groan into your bones for his brains. Well actually that would be a giant. Now Ogres, huh, they are much worse. They'll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin. They'll chew your livers, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually, it's quite good on toast. Back, back beast, back! I warned you! Right. This is the part, where you run away. Yeah! And stay out. Wanted. Fairytale creatures. Right, this one is full. Take it away. Give me that. Your fine days are over. -25 pieces of silver for the witch. Next. -Come on. Sit down there! And be quiet! This cage is so small. You wouldn't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please, give me another chance. Oh, shut up! Next. What do we got? This little wooden puppet. I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy. Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. No! Please, don't let them do it! Next. What do you got? Well, I've got a talking donkey! Right. Well that's good for ten schillings, if you can prove it. Oh, go ahead fella. Well? He's just a li..., just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. You boneheaded donkey! That's it. I have heard enough. Guards! No, no, he talks, he does! I can talk. I love to talk. I've talked to... Get her out of my sight! -No, no, I swear! Hey, I can fly. -He can fly! -He can fly! He can talk! -That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey! You might have This is far from the farm, but what choice do we have? It's not... What a lovely bed. -Got you! I found some cheese. Awful stuff. -Is that you Gordon? -How did you know? Enough! What are you doing in my house? Oh, no, no, no... Death prods off the table! Where would we supposed to put her. The bed's taken. What? I live in a swamp. I've put up signs. I'm a terrifying Ogre! What do I have to do, to get a little privacy? Oh, no! No, no! What are you doing in my swamp? All right, get out of here. All of you. Move it! Come on, let's go. And hurry up, hurry up. No, no, not there. Not there! Hey don't look at me. I didn't invite them. Oh gosh, no one invited us. -What? We were forced to come here. -By who? Lord Farquaad. He ??? All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? Oh I do. I know where he is. Does anyone else know where to find him? -Anyone at all? -Me. -Anyone? Oh pick me, I know! Me, me. Ok, fine. Attention all fairy tale things! Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially warned up. In fact. I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get all off my land and back where you came from. You. You're coming with me. All right. That's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stubborn friends off on a world and big city adventure. I love it. I'm on road again. Sing with me Shrek! I'm on road again...

guess which moot I am

No fucking clue

[notsofrozt]

Shrek Script

{Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. {Laughing} Like that's ever gonna happen. {Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes} What a load of - Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead The years start comin' and they don't stop comin' Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin' Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do so much to see So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow Hey, now You're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now but wait till you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire How 'bout yours That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored Hey, now, you're an all-star {Shouting} Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold {Belches} Go! Go! {Record Scratching} Go. Go.Go. Hey, now, you're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold -Think it's in there? -All right. Let's get it! -Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? -Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. {Laughs} -Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint. Now, ogres - - They're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. -No! -They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. -Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! {Gasping} -Right. {Roaring} {Shouting} {Roaring} {Whispers} This is the part where you run away. {Gasping} {Laughs} {Laughing} And stay out! "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures." {Sighs} {Man's voice} All right. This one's full. -Take it away! {Gasps} -Move it along. Come on! Get up! -Next! -Give me that! Your fiying days are over. That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! -Get up! Come on! -Twenty pieces. {Thudding} -Sit down there! -Keep quiet! {Crying} -This cage is too small. -Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! -Oh, shut up. -Oh! -Next! -What have you got? -This little wooden puppet. -I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. -Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. -Father, please! Don't let them do this! -Help me! -Next! What have you got? -Well, I've got a talking donkey. {Grunts} -Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. -Oh, go ahead, little fella. -Well? -Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - - -That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! -No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. -Get her out of my sight. -No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! {Gasps} -Hey! I can fly! -He can fly! -He can fly! -He can talk! -Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly

Somebody once told me

The world is gonna roll me

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

She was looking kind of dumb

With her finger and her thumb

In the shape of an L on her forehead

Well, the years start coming

And they don't stop coming

Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Your brain gets smart

But your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see

So what's wrong with taking the back streets?

You'll never know if you don't go

You'll never shine if you don't glow

Hey now, you're an all star

Get your game on, go play

Hey now, you're a rock star

Get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shooting stars break the mold

[voguemadrid]

Shrek at Belgrade Coventry, Review (2024)

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️.5 A seamless screen to stage transition of an fairy-tale favourite! Shrek… as a musical?! The thought whirrs through your mind of wondering how this incredible DreamWorks movie with top tier animation could transition and be done justice on a live stage. Puppets? Stage make up? Costuming? The iconic fairy tale land? THE SWAMP!? There was so much I had pondered about Shrek prior to…

[shrek-is-good]

ALSO I've been itching to talk about what a POS Gepetto is for the longest time like no wonder Pinocchio turned out that way in the shrek series

First off I'd like to remind that he's the one who turns Pinocchio in to Farquaad'd guards FOR PROFIT in the first movie (followed right behind by donkey but I have a post about him coming later👀)

As for Gepetto we NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN in the main series to my knowledge. Yes we have The Shreksorcist which is a story told by Shrek (and hes a better dad to Pinocchio than Gepetto even in that-) and we have Shrek forever after where Pinocchio gets some karmatic revenge vvv

^^^ He totally deserved this-

BUT What Puss in boots the last wish brought to my attention is that in the original Pinocchio story they replaced the puppet master WITH GEPETTO HIMSELF

Confirming hes the biggest POS father of all time, exploiting your child for money, check. Selling your child to fairy tale phobic tyrants FOR MONEY, check. Going full non contact and abandoning him thereafter, check.

[jq37]

Twice Upon a Time - Neverafter Ep 3

No Place for a Prince or Princess

Welcome to another entirely unhinged episode of D20 Neverafter and the first battle ep of the season. A battle episode with no dedicated healer with the whole party at level one? What could possibly go wrong? Well, let me tell you exactly what.

When I first started doing this commentary recap/posts, I did them in stream of consciousness bullet points and I'm going to do something similar for this recap since a battle ep means more nitty gritty that can be skipped over and also because I'm pressed for time due to being home for the holidays. Worry not though! I still have compiled all the most important juicy story bits for y'all. So let's get started. 

When we last left off, the group lost the element of surprise as they readied to attack the Fairy Godmother and her army of half human/half furniture goons.  Their goal in the fight is to steal the glass shard stuck into the Fairy Godmother that Cinderella stabbed her with and is greatly weakening her.

Puss right away Taun-Taun style dives into a dea cow while Roz distracts the Fairy Godmother by loudly declaring her princess status. As the mice told her, she can't resist a princess. 

Meanwhile, Red draws a ton of enemies into a corridor which they nickname "Ylfa's Bottleneck" as if it's a hit nightclub and it comes up so many times you just KNOW it's gonna be a shirt or a poster at some point.

Pinocchio offhandedly mentions that he's been a puppet for about a year which helps us with the timeline a bit. Also, he's apparently using his broken off nose as a weapon which is...not amazing.

Roz gets hit by a spell and she sees a vision of zombie looking versions of the fairies from her christening looking at her in her crib and the blue fairy asking what she thinks her gift would have been if she hadn't had to soften the evil fairy's curse. [Note: Hmm, wonder if that Blue Fairy is Pinocchio's Blue Fairy]

Oh, also the Fairy Godmother says to Roz that curses are also gifts in their own way and idk if that's annoying fae-speak or an actual valid thing to say.

Roz and Red both have to make Cha saves and when Roz fails, Brennan gives her a red token which he tells her to hold onto without explaining at all. Siobhan is trepid, as am I, despite Brenna's claims that it's nothing to worry about. 

Tim doesn't end up doing this because he wants to save his spell slots for healing (smart man) but his Vicious Mockery is a paternal "I'm very disappointed in you."

Puss tries to hide in another animal carcass, this time a mule (which Emily hilariously thinks might be Donkey from Shrek) but finds out that it's the mule of the 2nd brother in his fairy tale and also that he's just faking dead and is alive. 

Brennan introduces a new game mechanic: If someone deals more than half of your remaining HP in damage in one blow, you have to make a Con save or take a level of exhaustion. This counts for enemies and PCs. Yikes! This doesn't appear to have anything to do w/ the red token.

The Fairy Godmother says to Roz, "Don't you want the kind of life I can provide? [...] They're taken your true love from you." When Roz insists that he's coming, the Fairy says, "Then why did his face change?" Siobhan is like, "How did she know that?" and I'm like, "Girl, same."

Pinocchio casts Hex on the Fairy which takes the form of spectral strings appearing on his body and his Stepmom's voice pouring out of him to berate the Fairy. The Fairy, of course, recognizes the voice as they're from the same story. Pinocchio gets the sense that more is happening than his mom told him.

Ger realizes that this Fairy is the fairy who cursed him to be a frog for being rude to her as a kid! [Note: I knew we'd end up doubling up on fairies at some point!] He is, if you'd pardon the pun, hopping mad at the realization. 

Puss successfully lies to the Fairy that Cinderella sent him to help her get the shard out of her chest but that success will be fleeting. 

The fairy says, "Magic was never yours. Magic is ours!" to Pinocchio (and really, I assume to his mom) and drops him. [Note: Hmm, magic hoarding? Is this like a Fae and Flowers deal? This feels like a line that we might be coming back to.]

Ger drops to an attack soon after.

Puss on an investigation check realizes that they've royally botched this and all that's left are bad and risky options. He tries to get the Fairy to give him her wand but that's a DC 20 check with disadvantage that he fails. Roz does 12 damage on her and it does enough damage that the group realizes that she's a total glass cannon that they should be attacking.

[Note: Y'all, I'm not the type to backseat D&D--and I wasn't yelling at my screen or anything while I was watching this--but you always take out the monster that is creating the other monsters! That's battle strats 101! Of course--spoiler--they didn't despawn when she died at the end but still! Taking her out and grabbing the shard would have been my plan for sure.]

Oh, also, Brennan introduced yet another mechanic. Because battles in the NEverafter are super risky, on a crit there is a save and if your fail the save, you're insta-dead. Great if you're giving the crit, bad if you're getting it. 

At this point, it feels like I'm just reciting obits. Roz drops. Tim brings Ger back up. Puss goes down. Everyone is failing death saves--often with a fairy tale appropriate 3 on the die. 

Ger yells at the Fairy, "Are you happy? I'm supposed to be a handsome prince!" The Fairy, surprisingly, agrees. She says, "We're trying to set the Neverafter to rights!"

Lou points out they're flaming out in the EXACT same way they did in the first fight of the first season--Fantasy High. He is hilariously correct. 

Tim goes down. Ylfa goes down. The energy at the table is palpable as the inevitability of a TPK sets in.

Pinocchio fails his last save and black smoke sweeps through the dome. With his dying thoughts, he thinks about him and his father riding home to his village having escaped the belly of the terrible dogfish. He hears a voice--I think his father's--saying, "My little Pinocchio. She has lied to you." Then he fades. As his last action, he has to make a Cha save which he can choose to fail on purpose. He tries but fails and gets a red token.

Ger thinks about how the last time he needed to be brave--when his castle was being attacked--he hid with the children then ran. He sees Red and Pinocchio down and steels himself. There's no running or hiding today. He tries to get the glass shard and Brennan allows him to do it without a penalty IF he agrees to potentially get hurt in the process. He agrees and just meets the Fairy Godmother's roll, pulling it out. HOWEVER, as he pulls it out, the momentum sends it squelching into his own body, and he drops. The Fairy Godmother, as she dies, says, "Gerrard, we're here to help you! It's not what you--!" But of course, she's cut off. 

As I said before, when she dies, the soldiers don't de-animate. And they WILL kill anyone who stabilizes. So everyone has to roll a Nat 20 or die. It's a weird situation where sometimes you have to roll a failure to keep doing with saves. 

I'm going to tell you right now, no one saves. It's a true TPK. I'll run you through everyone's last thoughts. 

Puss: Puss dies with a Nat 1 on the die (a cat butt that they briefly think is the image for a Nat 20) and he sees himself in Tomas' castle, resting in a shaft of light. Brennan says he sees the king and queen. Then the castle on fire. Then he's gone. He fails his Cha save and gets a red token.

Roz: Roz also dies with a Nat 1. She sees herself on her wedding day, going to meet her true love. Brennan says she sees two beautiful princesses turn to look at her. Then she's gone. She fails her Cha save so she's now up to 2 red tokens. [Note: Princesses. Her sisters?]

 Red: Red gets the most intense vision. She sees herself with her grandma who then turns into a wolf and starts dragging her into hell. When she turns to face the wolf at his request he says, "Will you remember?" Then he says, "There are things trying to stop the turning of the pages," and asks her the 4 most important words. "Once Upon a Time?" she says. "I knew it was you," the wolf replies before she realizes he's falling into not hell or a boiling sea but a cauldron. She's blown out of a brick chimney and hears a voice from below say, "Got you now," with a suspiciously piggish snort. She seems to make her save and does not get a token. 

Ger: Ger actually stabilizes but that just means she's going to die via furniture. He cries and says that he and Elody should never have gotten mixed up in this. He sees his wife in front of him who says that it's not too late and throws a golden ball in the air. As he watches it, he experiences drowning for the first time and then is gone. He is the only one who elects to fail his save on purpose. He gets a red token.

Tim: Tim thinks about the last fight he had with his husband who wanted him to just get rid of the book and stay home while Tim really thought what he was doing could help save everyone. And he still thinks that despite everything. He sees the Gander who mocks him. He sticks up his middle finger and says, "I got your third with right here." "Granted," says the gander, biting his finger off as he vanishes. He fails his Char save. That's a token.

Brennan asks Red again what her last thought was. She says she thinks she realizes what's going on. They've been thinking about things wrong. A book is about new memories, not just nostalgia. They have to be creating new stories and all they have to say is "Once upon a time." And that's where we end: with a TPK and those immortal words. 

This new ep drops in less than 3 hours so I'm not gonna do a ton of speculation. I'm just gonna say that I haven't been this hyped for a new ep in AGES. Are we doing a time loop? Further fractured tales? How meta are we going? I can't wait to find out. Also, I'm glad we got such a mixed data set with regard to these tokens. Roz has two. Ger failed on purpose. And Red didn't get one. So we're gonna get a lot of data when this new ep airs tonight! Can't wait to see what Brennan has in store!

[tsuki-sennin]

*Deep breath* Wahahahaha~! Make way, peons! It's a festival, a festival I say! Coming to Sorashido City whether you like it or not! Wahahahaha! So... Princess Elle of Sky Land is feeling great sorrow? Well now... we can hardly have that now can we?

This tremendous sweet sixteen for Hirogaru Sky PreCure! Is it a worthy telling of such an iconic legend?

Oh, by the way, by the time you're likely reading this, it's the birthday of our very own Tsubasa Yuunagi~!

By the way, here be spoilers! You'd best tread with caution!

-Everywhere I go... I see his face. Tarou-san...

-Bwuh? Oh yeah, Ranborgs.

-And Captain Shalala just dipped.

-By the way Sora, I'm very proud of you for kicking so much ass last episode, you were awesome.

-Ageha, now hardly seems the time for puns.

-The birthday boy grits his teeth.

-Hello, Yoyo-san.

-"What's their fucking deal, Grandma?"

-Light and shadow. Heaven and Hell. North Carolina and South Carolina.

-Ohhhhhh!

-K

-Kira Kira Energy.

-...this feels oddly familiar.

-An apothecary~!

-Papa, Mama, yes~!

-Aw :(

-Kanashimi o taiji shite yu- No Tsuki! Restrain yourself. It's not yet time.

-Uhhhhh, theme song! I forget if I talked about it yet, but it's delightfully hopeful and (as expected of a Toei franchise) masterfully composed. The percussion especially is immaculate, a good percussion section knows exac

-Onitaijin.

-Ohhhh, puppet show~!

-Pretty Princess Butterfly.

-You are very based, Tsubasa. I forgive you, you filthy crimin- *Smack!* Focus!

-Momotaro~!

-We must hurry to Onigashima.

-Well, we could retell the story with an odd cast from previous seasons... Love/Peach would make a good Momotaro just off her name alone, you could make a strong argument for casting Kokone/Spicy or Akira/Chocolat as the dog, Asuka/Flamingo of course could be the pheasant as it's a neorinthe like a flamingo...

-I'm not quite sure who'd be the monkey in this case. ...Ako/Muse, perhaps? I'm genuinely not sure, I only started watching Suite a little while ago, but she does give me monkey vibes. Minori/Papaya'd make a good substitute if you don't think that counts though.

-She shreep

-Puppet play~!

-Don! Don! Donbura ko!

-Don Elletaro~! Fully formed and armed to the teeth!

-Prop recycling~! Wouldn't be a Toei production without it, huh?

-Well, you know how it is, Mashiron! Everybody loves to play with the tropes of fairy tales~! It's why we as a society love Shrek so much. And RWBY... and I guess if you're me, Saber.

-Yooooo! Nippon Ichi!

-Dango~!

-Furry Sora Jumpscare!

-Keep your face out of the kibble and we'll be just fine.

-Free Bread~!

-Elleeeetaro Zan, Elletaro Zan!

-And now... a Haiku.

Light from the blue sky

Caught in the shining prisms

Rainbows gayly form.

-Y'know, Shinichi would be giving Mashiro girl advice. And she'd go for it.

-We're all going pretty quick, eh? Mmmm... Momotaro had to do a bit of walking after.

-...there is a surprising (read: distressing) level of similarity between Tsubasa (Yuunagi, moderate amount of issues) and Tsuyoshi (Kijino, lots of issues).

-Y'know, male character in a predominantly female role, used for comic relief fairly often, being wildly popular among fans on Tumblr... all I'm saying is you might wanna keep an eye on Wing's love life. For his sake, and ours.

-We laughed, we cried, we had wacky misunderstandings, we had insane romance subplots, people died and came back, Kaito was there...

-To the port!

-Onigashima! Where the ogres gather.

-Ohhhhhhh

-There's something about the Underg, huh Granny?

-Elletaro's companions stand resolute in spite of their fears.

-This is the good stuff.

-...apparently the princess isn't quite a big fan. ...give it a few more minutes, it'll be really good.

-Here comes creepy Battamonda~! Who... most assuredly is not a Noto analogue. That's probably better reserved for Captain Shalala or from a certain perspective Kabaton.

-Oniiiiiiiiii~!

-Ageha may be voicing the Oni, but she's definitely no Haruka. ...if anything, she's much more of a Jiro type. Arguably even more so than whatever Fifth Cure we'll be getting.

-Hirogaru-ki!

-The special effects are ruined! Your suit budget is in shambles! The shippers are going apeshit!

-She walks!

-She speaks!

-She's done it!

-Baa~!

-The cloud has lifted.

-For Elletaro! Princess Elletaro~!

-...so uh... where're Sora's parents in all this?

-I don't mean to ruin this nice moment, but I find it a little concerning that they don't seem to have been appearing much.

-BIRDS

-"What up, fellas?"

-Instead of kidnapping, Battamonda prefers a spot of murder.

-Whoa, perfect catch!

-Hell yeah, Prism Punch!

-I love how floaty these fight scenes are.

-Down they go!

-Eat my ass, Battamonda.

-Keep moving forward! The princess says so!

-Wahahahahahahahaha! Shine on, dear companions!

-Whoa! Flash Bang!

-Man, the Sky Mirage just seems like a really neat little toy to play with.

-Into the mirror~! Okay!

-Mermaid Aqua Pot Moment.

-Have you considered maybe you're just a moron?

-Thank you again, Elle-chan.

-Walk style.

-Elletaro-san~! Elletaro-san~!

-Bread...

-So let's get the party started~! Don Don, Iitokomikke~! Tokuige! Ni mune harou ze Brother! WOO!

-Ah, uh, outro, outro! Very catchy, love the rhyme structure, the Butterfly teasing is making me seethe and cope, get your skinny ass in there already babe.

-Mashiron must run! And never look back!

-Now if you excuse me, I do believe I have an installment of a certain other franchise to get back to. One that also involves floating sky kingdoms, ancient legends, knights and heroes, a pig-themed villain, wildly bucking franchise conventions, gender stuff, and horrifying underground monstrosities.

-...look I could've just said "Zelda" and there'd have been no question, but that's okay, see youuuuuu~!