#sick of dongles

[ggcassanova]

am i treating my earbuds worse or do they just not last as long anymore

[jamalgripperton46290]

Getting Freaky On a Friday Night (Pico x Boyfriend)

Jamal Gripperton's Masterlist

A/N

•••

It was just another Wednesday afternoon, and Boyfriend was casually scrolling through Tiktok, nothin' special. That is, until he stumbled upon a brand-new tattoo parlor just a few blocks away from where he lived. "Sweet" he thought to himself, after all, he had been wanting a tattoo for a few years now, but he just didn't know where...

So he had the brilliant thought of asking the group chat on suggestions regarding the topic. Here's how it went:

Boyfriend: Hey guys im thinkin of gettin a tattoo in that new tattoo parlor but idk where suggestions?

Carol: Dude what happens if you accidentally put tinfoil in the microwave

Kapi: Get it on ur dick and then you can finally pull some bitches man 💀

Whitty: Carol please tell me u didnt put fucking tinfoil in the goddamn microwave

Garcello's Spirit: R u sure gettin a tattoo is a good idea little man?

Sussus Moogus: Im with kapi on dis one get it on ur tiny ass meat stick lol

Carol: Dude i see a flame in the microwave o shit

Whitty: CAROL WTF

Carol: Dude this is actually pretty sick i can summon daddy dearest or smn now 🍸🔥🔥😈😈😝😝

Kapi: Yeah i dare bf to get it on his tiny dingle dongle

Boyfriend: Fuck you kapi and dw youll be the first to see the tattoo on my double decker deek 💖🥰

And so, a text and throwing on the first t-shirt and grey sweatpants he could find, was all he had to do to set his journey on the quest of getting his 8-inch dick tattooed.

He settled on getting a dragon design to go all around his "MAGNUM DONG" when in reality, it was just a little above average sized, so nothing too special.

As he made his way to this new tattoo parlor, he couldn't help but feel a little scared, because obviously, having a fear of needles was brutal enough, but having a needle inject ink into your dick for who knows how long, was even worse. But Boyfriend was known for being bold and "cool" so he wasn't gonna let fear get the best of him, and he wasn't gonna chicken out on a dare just because he was being a reckless pussy amirite?

He mustered up the courage of opening the door of that darn tattoo parlor and found himself greeting the nice lady at the front desk and initiating in some small talk before sitting down at the waiting area down the small hall.

"Can a "Boyfriend" go to room 3 please?" a random lady scoffed.

This was it, there was no turning back (he kinda wanted to) but Boyfriend and his overly high ego said otherwise.

He slowly opened the door to see a ginger crouching down to pick up something that seemed like a pack of antiseptic wipes. Boyfriend couldn't help but stare at that juicy ass of his just waiting to be fucked (at least that's what he thought)

"Nice ass" Boyfriend blurted out, as he took a seat on the medical chair thingy (We don't know what it's called okay?)

"I beg your pardon?" Pico turned around to see a rather handsome looking shortie sitting at the medical chair thingy (Still don't know what it's called)

"It's got a juicy look to it, but voluptuous is really the word I'm looking for" Boyfriend then proceeded to shoot Pico an innocent wink which made Pico want to take his gun and shoot himself right in the face.

"Umm... I d-dont think I follow" Pico stuttered, as he tried to hide the bright shade of red forming upon his cheeks (the ones on his face, we're not getting to that part just yet)

"You're cute, what's your name?" Boyfriend asked, trying to start a conversation.

"Erm... It's Pico" Pico blurted out, not quite sure why the "Patient" was talking, well, more like flirting with him in the first place.

"E-either way, we gotta get to business" Pico stammered, as he took a seat on his chair, ready to type in this weird and excruciatingly handsome fellow's details on the computer.

"What type of business sugar?" Boyfriend smirked, especially proud of that one, he pulled like it was nothing #cool.

"Are you kidding me right now? I need your details you douche" Pico declared, getting a little impatient with this weird dude that was hot as fuck and also within cock-sucking range mind you.

"Oh... right" Boyfriend said, taking this a little more seriously (Like he was supposed to in the first place)

"I need your name and age" Pico groaned (Not in that way yet, just be patient little chickadees, it's almost here), as he just wanted this to end as soon as possible.

"Oh yeah, my name's Dick and I'm 19, single and ready to mingle honey" Boyfriend obviously joked, as he let out a chuckle.

"Ha, Dick, surely that explains a lot" Pico rolled his eyes and fixated them on the computer.

"Just pulling on your balls bae, my name's Boyfriend" The shorter of the two said.

"Dude, that's like somehow worse, it can't get any worse than this" Pico let out a laugh at the thought that this hottie had so much potential, and yet, his name was simply "Boyfriend", how pathetic.

"Okay, where do you want the tattoo huh?" Pico asked rather eagerly.

"Um, this is gonna sound a bit weird alright? But it's a dare, so like, I'm obviously doing it..." 

"I'm gonna tattoo my super awesome man pole, magnum dong, I mean, my chode, cock, dick, meat stick-" Boyfriend was cut off mid-sentence.

"Stop, just stop. WHAT THE FUCK?!" Pico panicked at the thought of having to hold his dick while measuring, tattooing it, and all that jazz, he needed someone to pinch him right then and there, or else he really would bring out that gun and shoot himself.

"I would say you're rather excited though, aren't you sugar?" Boyfriend smirked, while also being super proud of that one, he was practically on flirting fire #doublecool

"You wish, you fucking dick" Pico mumbled, knowing damn well that Boyfriend was in fact correct, and he was just waiting for Boyfriend to stick his "Super awesome man pole, magnum dong, I mean, chode, cock, dick, meat stick" up his scrawny little hole (His words not mine)

"I don't even think that's even legal dude, lemme ask my manager" Pico scoffed rather disgusted.

And so Pico did the awkward task of asking his manager if it was in fact legal to tattoo someone's dick. And much to his demise, it was, but they would have to dispose of the tools that came in contact with his "Super awesome man pole, magnum dong, I mean, chode, cock, dick, meat stick" for obvious hygiene reasons and sanitary measures.

"Somehow in fucking hell, it fucking is legal and allowed in here" Pico growled as he spoke to Boyfriend.

"Fuck yes! It's gonna be epic dude!" Boyfriend cheered, breaking out of his flirtatious character towards Pico.

"Whatever, get on the medical bed thingy" (I don't know what the fuck it's called so y'all are just gonna have to deal with it m'kay? Thnx <3)

And so, Boyfriend eventually did, taking his baggy, blue jeans and boxers off for Pico to "Inspect" the soon-to-be tattooed area.

"If you don't mind me saying, I expected it to be bigger than this" Pico giggled as he shot Boyfriend a somewhat of an intimidating look that screamed 'Dude wtf like ew'.

"Like yours is any bigger hon" Boyfriend scoffed, rolling his eyes at Pico

Pico eventually measured it and broke into a fit of laughter.

"Eight inches? Really? I know mine's at least ten dude" Pico teased.

"Please, don't lie to yourself sugar, but if you want..." Boyfriend eventually came to a halt and trailed off.

"If I want, what?" Pico wondered.

"I could measure yours just to be sure it is in fact "Ten inches" like you said it was" Boyfriend smirked as he said so, but of course, no homo though...

Fuck it man, yes homo, Boyfriend was already getting hard at the feeling of Pico's cold fingertips touching his "Super awesome man pole, magnum dong, I mean, chode, cock, dick, meat stick" and he wanted nothing more than to fuck this ginger's voluptuous and juicy ass.

"F-fuck... y-yes please" Pico moaned at just the sight of his rather average "Super awesome man pole, magnum dong, I mean, chode, cock, dick, meat stick" but it was quite thick in size, and that was enough to make Pico's friend downstairs want to rise from the dead (iykyk)

The two passionately smashed their lips together and felt nothing but a strong wave of lust wash over them. A part of Pico was saying that sex at a fucking tattoo parlor wasn't exactly the best idea. But fuck it, buttfuck it, because Pico was just desperate, he longed for the touch of Boyfriend and wanted nothing other than him.

A simple kiss soon turned into a heated makeout sesh - suckin face if you may. Tongue and everything it was filled with passion, lust, affection and pure love. Kissing in a tattoo parlor with some hot hunka meat you just met, super cliche right? But cha live in the moment ma dudes. 

A few minutes later, Pico grabbed Boyfriend's man pole as Boyfriend squirmed in the medical chair thingy and met with Boyfriend's black world-consuming orbs earning a small whimper from Boyfriend. Slowly, he started licking Boyfriend's tip which was already leaking out in pre-cum while Boyfriend was squirming under Pico's strong, cold grip. He trailed his tongue down Boyfriend's length as Boyfriend let out small moans and groans of pleasure.

All of a sudden, Pico took him all in with a yelp from Boyfriend. Bobbing his head up and down and dragging his tongue around his width, licking, sucking and kissing all over Boyfriend's chode. Boyfriend was rolling his hips unable to contain the immense pleasure bubbling up inside him like a simmering stew on high heat.

Pico couldn't help but smirk at how out of control he made Boyfriend feel. Serves him right for earlier. "Where's the 'Mr. tough guy' at?" Pico asked slyly. "You miss him?" Boyfriend managed to blurt out. "Not necessarily " Pico mumbled.

"I'm gonna I-" Boyfriend moaned out. "I know babe let it out " Pico murmured. "Fuuuucccckkkkkk-" Boyfriend spoke barely over a whisper, warm liquid filled Pico's mouth and he obvs swallowed it all.

"Wanna 69?" Boyfriend asked coyly.  "Uh yeah... s-sure " Pico stuttered getting nervous in the presence of Boyfriend's flirtatious side again. As soon as Pico replied, he smacked his juicy, voluptuous, curvaceous, busty, opulent, well-proportioned, luscious ass. Pico moaned at the action and not noticing Boyfriend had moved.

Without warning, he went all in taking him whole. Pico might have had small dick energy, but he was the exact opposite when it came to times like these. Hot, wet and loud were the words to describe the tattoo parlor room, both of their moans bouncing of the room's walls as they sucked each other off. Pico suddenly stopped which made Boyfriend supa confused, so confused, he didn't even notice Pico behind him until he felt all of his dingle in his ass.

"F-fuck Pico-" Boyfriend blurted, as Pico slowly rolled his hips. "What babe c'mon use your words" Pico groaned seductively in Boyfriend's ear as he picked up the speed. "F-fuck you feel s-so good" Boyfriend splattered "I know babe" Pico admitted. His thrusts getting harder and faster, their skin clapping together getting louder and more pleasingly painful.

"I can't take it anymore P-pico" Boyfriend said as he gasped for air. "Yes you can baby, I know you can" Pico replied reassuringly. "Fuck, fuck, FUCK PICO" Boyfriend screamed as he was screaming without the s (iykyk). Pico finished after him with a loud, deep groan. "It's my turn now Pico, get on all fours before I make you" Boyfriend whispered in his ear slightly nibbling on his ear lobe. 

Pico fought against letting out a moan and slowly went on all fours. "If you ain't gonna do it yourself  *smack* I'm gon do it myself". He flipped Pico over and went all in. Plunging in and out of Pico's asshole, Boyfriend was goin at full speed and wasn't holding back at all. And holy shit, Pico would be lying if he said Boyfriemd was mediocre. Pico's soft moans and Boyfriend's deep groans filled the room and were the only thing to be heard within a mile's radius.

Apart from their skin clapping and the squeaking of the medical bed thing. "You like it baby?  Does my Magnum Dong feel good penetrating your ass?" Boyfriend whispered seductively. He only got a moan in response "I need words Pico" Boyfriend whispered. "Yes fucking, hell yes!" Pico moaned out. "Good" Boyfriend muttered under his breath. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. fuck, fuuuuuccccckkkkkk" Boyfriend groaned as he released his load.

"Sit down Pico "Boyfriend spoke. The second Pico sat down, Boyfriend got on his knees and got to work. Sucking every part and gagging anything and everything Boyfriend could do he did until they were both out of breath.

Soon later, Pico did Boyfriend's tattoo and got it 4 free! 

He should really thank Kapi sometime.

•••

A/N

Word count: 2203 words

Haiiiii partay peoples! Omfgggg this chapter was super fun to write and we both died multiple times throughout the whole process of writing and editing this chapter. Btw Beezy wrote the first half (Up until da smashing their lips togetha part lmao) and ofc Jamal wrote the bottom half (The makeout sesh all the way to the end) and they tried their best, so why not follow em? Hope you guys liked reading this as much as we loved writin it <3 Stay tuned ma dudes the chapters get even better y'all.

-BeezyBee and Jamal Gripperton

[michithing]

i am so sick...... and tired.... of..... phone usb to aux dongle......

i recently got a new phone, it doesnt have an audio jack. which i didnt look out for while buying. its immensly stupid.

so i went and bought one of these dongles. it sucks. or my phone doesnt comply with it (i got a google phone, and a samsung cable. i wanted to get a google cable but theyre out of stock everywhere?). it constantly stops or skips through songs, activates google assistant, and sometimes? it shocks my ear drums? at least thats what it feels like. its especially bad on the train, i straight up cant use it and it hurts when i do.

i didnt see anywhere anyone mention this before? my head hurts. im stuck in a hot car with my mom who is screaming around in russian and it stresses me out and my headphones are not helping tone her out

[pagesofkenna]

PC was having issues again, didn't use it for about a week, moved it to a different outlet, still issues, unplugged the keyboard/mouse USB dongles and plugged them back into different ports....... might be fine now???

[tvguts]

hyeah baby.... full day of work.... got the next few days off.... got plans... got mcdongles on the way home.... ordered too many fries but stopped myself before i got sick.... decent day

[strangelylass]

Feel like shite, just want her back

(headphone jack in phone)

[chemsexholmes]

TBH making all phones Bluetooth earbud exclusive (unless you have a dongle, in which case you can't charge your phone simultaneously) is unconscionable. Because of the extra costs but also because you can't just put in a pair of earbuds and fall asleep anymore. You the cell phone Industry are fucking sick

[nails-teeth-neck]

my favourite necklace atm is the chain from this necklace i got at next with a massive dongle i removed so it looks like a sick chain now

[ellynneversweet]

So it was trendy in the Regency to wear a bunch of keys and seals on one’s (fob)watch chain, right? And keys and seals did serve a practical purpose — you used a seal for letter writing and legal documents, and the keys were for household items like your writing desk, or the tea chest and sugar chest if you were the lady of the house, etc. They were markers of adulthood. And adults who Have To Carry That Shit tend to pretty quickly get sick of having a set of keys with twenty different dongles attached weighing down their pockets and start paring them down, but t(w)eens with their first set of keys have like, a key ring and a charm and a bike lock and a USB, because it’s adult and exciting and makes you feel important, right?

So, what I want to see in the next Jane Austen adaptation is the adult characters wearing normal watches with a normal amount of keys, while the teenagers of the piece — the Lydia Bennets and Margaret Dashwoods — go around with massive jangling watch chains ostentatiously pinned on their jackets, like this:

[kierancampire]

I tried to book my medication the other day, but it said i needed to book a medication review, i did and got told I'd be called back later, but no one has, so I'ma try and pick it up today, but if it isn't there, i won't be screwed over, it just means calling the doctors again which i really don't want to do

I also want to clean today, but i think that is it. Today and yesterday i just kinda felt like I've wanted to cry all morning, i feel sick to my stomach with anxiety. I'm constantly having to do important things and stressful things, and I'm doing them because i know i need to, but my anxiety. Like today, I'm freaking a bit about getting my anxiety, partially because i am scared of it going wrong i think

I just keep thinking about the future and so many things i am scared of, but now i am worrying about "small" things too, like when i tried applying for a new wifi dongle it said i failed their credit check, so what if it is the same with broadband? Then it's just all the normal fears of stability, finances, and where I'll be

I'm going to shower, get ready, check on my pills, if i can't get them i need to call the doctor again, then I'll clean. I think i might bake cookies tomorrow, it's been a while. I have some support i know, but i wish i wasn't doing a lot of this by myself, i can do it, and i will do it, i just, yeah, I'm scared

[soulvomit]

I’ve been thinking about, a lot, how it was really, really difficult for me to even learn the concept of “offense.” To clear things up, before I even go further: I understood that racism was a thing and that sexism was a thing, and based on my own upbringing I understood bigotry as something done to living family members. And my parents were pretty openly and outspokenly feminist and very progressive, by 1970s and 80s standards.  The times I WAS called out for something when I was younger, I did understand that I hurt the other person’s feelings, and I apologized and was careful not to do that thing again. But “middle class WASP girl offendedness” was very different from an actual callout. This was the kind of offense wherein either I’d violated an unwritten social rule or I’d offended someone’s delicate sensibilities or I admitted to liking something they didn’t like, or I admitted to not liking a particular thing, and they didn’t want to be seen with me. This was about ways in which certain higher status girls got offended over things that offended virtually nobody else, and expected to be treated like little princesses, and I experienced it as something that higher status girls weaponized against other people.   So someone being “middle class WASP offended” was NOT the same as someone being actually hurt. The thing is, in person, I COULD TELL THE DIFFERENCE between someone being snotty vs being hurt. There is a whole different social dynamic involved in each, and totally different paralanguage, and different expressions, and different tones of voice. There is a huge amount of context involved in telling the difference. This is almost 100% lost in online interaction, where hurt people can use snotty language and snotty people can use hurt language and there’s no way you can tell the difference!  If somebody was offended because I did something racist, I could process that and try my best to repair it. But if someone was offended by me just for being neurodivergent or gender non conforming or weird or poorer, or simply by being a girl who wasn’t “sugar and spice and everything nice” and super delicate and appealing to adults for protection, then really, the only way to answer them was with “fuck off.” (And in the 90s, for a while, I had broader permission to be myself.) To go on... The way in which I was socialized, meant that I wasn’t allowed to actually be offended at anything, and even by the time I got into tech, I already  had a really, really thick skin. It’s where, in cases like Adria Richards and Donglegate, I feel like a space alien, because tbh, if two dudes had been making “dongle” jokes to each other two rows behind me? I wouldn’t have even noticed. I grew to adulthood around dirty hippies and uncouth men and awkward teenage guy nerds, and I had to learn that I was SUPPOSED to be offended at a tremendous amount of stuff (and other women were paying attention) and I was SUPPOSED to be policing the behavior of everyone around me. 

Except that when I was being raised: whenever I tried to perform “snotty WASP girl” stuff around my parents, I got shut down immediately, and sometimes my mom would tell me I was acting like a Nazi. (I don’t even remember NOT knowing what a Nazi was.) So, I grew up with the idea that someone being offended by me, is probably being offended at me, and just trying to police me. 

And it’s not lost on me that it’s pretty close to how “Kyle culture” tends to experience the offendedness of “Karen culture,” and acts offended by offendedness.  Part of the reason I had trouble with taking female offendedness at all seriously for half of my life, is because I definitely felt that people who were offended by me, were actually the ones who were being oppressive. Why? Because the people who were offended by me were always higher status than me: they were prettier, they were popular, they were richer, they were whiter, they were Christian, etc. And often, I’d offended them just by existing - by being neurodivergent, by being poorer, by being a girl who had been socialized by dudes, and often, by using big words. Especially by reading books that were past my grade level because there really are adults and the children they brainwash who think that this is sick and wrong, that children must be kept stunted at the level they’re slotted into in school lest they be exposed to sick, sinful ideas. I offended these same girls by being a girl who was more streetwise, by being a girl who played with boys, and by being a girl who liked the things I liked. I seemed to offend girls by basically being in the same room and breathing.   

When the 90s rolled around and with them, gross-out culture and snark culture, I reveled in this new freedom.  How I’d react to them being offended, really depends upon why they were offended. If someone said I was being racist or something, or just being an asshole, that’s something I had a database for and I could address that, because I didn’t actually want to be a racist, or an asshole, etc. 

But if what they were offended at was some niche thing specific to them and they were just being an asshole toward me - then, really, fuck them, that’s how I learned to process this.   

[wlw-stanbot]

I called my gf a Shimbo the other day and then had to define it to her without making it seem like a bad thing but....she’s really just so smart and thoughtful and analytical that sometimes she does things that just don’t really make any sense.

In this instance...she and I both have the same kind of work laptop given to us by our employers and I have a docking station that I usually use with mine that has a keyboard, chorded mouse, screen and a few other peripherals plugged into it. Anyway, I was sick a few days ago and told her she could use the workstation since I wouldn’t be using it. 

So a few days later, I was working on my laptop and couldn’t find the dongle that I usually have plugged in for my wireless mouse. I keep the dongle plugged in because it’s small and it’s easier than futzing with it whenever I want to move around. The mouse itself is kept in my bag so I thought maybe I had put it back with the mouse where it’s supposed to go and forgot about it?

A little bit later I found it at my desk and said something along the lines of “oh, that’s weird I was looking for that” and my gf started laughing a bit sheepishly and was like “yeah, it was in my laptop for when I was using your desk”.

Which of course prompted a funny look from me because the mouse that’s associated with it really never leaves my backpack and the docking station already has a mouse attached.

So she explained that she put the dongle in her laptop because she wanted to make sure it was set up exactly like mine had been when it was attached to the docking station. Which..yeah I can see that line of thinking but the mouse at the desk is chorded. It was just so silly to me but very cute. 

anyway...i luv her

[the-space-case]

{Yeah I’ll just put the whole thing here for clarity :D}

OK SO I WAS IN THE MED BAY DOING MY THING YOU KNOW HOW IT IS THERES A BUSTED PAK I FIX IT NO BIG DEAL RIGHT BUT THE PATIENT WAS ACTING STRANGER THAN NORMAL RIGHT JUST REALLY OFF HIS ROCKER YOU KNOW SO I GET HIM HOOKED UP TO THE DONGLE YOU KNOW THAT BIG TABLE WITH THE HOLE IN IT YOUVE BEEN THERE FOR YOUR CHECK UPS BEFORE YEAH THAT THING SO I GET HIM ALL HOOKED UP GOOD AND PROPER AND ASK HIM WHAT HIS DEAL IS YOU KNOW GET THE RUN DOWN OF HIS RUN DOWN PAK CHECK HIS VITALS  PULL UP HIS DATA FILE GIVE HIM THE RUNAROUND AND HE SAYS TO ME HE SAYS THAT THERES A BREACH IN THE ENGINE ROOM AND I SAY UH HUH SURE I DONT REALLY BELIEVE HIM CUZ HIS PAK IS JUST FULL OF VIRUSES HERE IM TALKING MAJOR MALFUNCTION HES GLITCHING ALL OVER THIS DONGLE IMMA NEED THE RESTRAINTS FOR THIS ONE ITS THAT BAD YOU KNOW LIKE WOW BUT HE KEEPS TELLING ME THERES SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE ENGINE ROOM ITS MALFUNCTIONING HE HOOKED INTO IT TO CHECK THE SYSTEM AND IT MADE HIM GLITCH SO IM LIKE SURE BECAUSE MAYBE HELL CHILL IF I KEEP NODDING ALONG BUT THEN HE GRABS ME REAL HARD AND SAYS THE SHIP IS FULL OF A DEFECTIVES DATA AND ITS INFECTING THE REST OF THE ENGINEERS SO I SAY HAAH YOURE SO FUNNY AND THEN HE GOT REAL MAD AT ME BUT HONESTLY I WAS BORED LIKE THE REST OF THE MEDICS GOT SHIPPED OFF PLANET SO NOW ITS JUST ME GETTING THE TEA YOU KNOW SO I TELL HIM THAT ILL GET HIM FIXED UP AND HE CAN GO BACK TO HIS BOYFRIEND YOU KNOW AND HE GETS REAL CONFUSED LIKE I DONT HAVE A BOYFRIEND? AND NOW IM LIKE UGH I CAN'T NOT FUCK WITH HIM SO I TELL HIM NOOOOOO KIR IS JUST SO INTO HIM HE JUST HASNT GOT THE GUTS TO SAY SO YOU KNOW AND HE SAYS KIR HAS A BOYFRIEND ALREADY AND IM LIKE WELL DUH BUT HE WANT TO BREAK UP WITH HIM TO GET WITH YOU DUDE EVERYBODY KNOWS IT AND HE ASKS DID HE SAY THAT LIKE IN CONFIDENCE AND I SAY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT DUDE HE SAID IT. AND THEN HE JUST SITS REAL QUIET THE REST OF THE TIME YOU KNOW I FIX HIS PAK ALL NEW AND SHINY MAKE IT REAL NICE AND AT THE END OF IT HE SAYS YOU KNOW WHAT? IM GONNA ASK HIM! AND NOW IM THINKING FUCK YES THE TEA AND SO HE JUMPS OFF THE DONGLE AND RUNS OFF SO YOU KNOW I JUST GOTTA FOLLOW AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT RIGHT SO WE RUN ALL THE WAY TO THE ENGINE ROOM AND HE JUST BUSTS IN AND YELLS FOR KIR AND THEN I NOTICE ALL THE OTHER ENGINEERS ARE KIND OF ACTING REALLY GLITCHY YOU KNOW LIKE THEIR PAKS ARE ALL DEFECTIVE THERE AND IM LIKE OH SHIT ITS ABOUT TO GO DOWN SO MY PATIENT GOES ON UP TO KIR AND SAYS HE ACCEPTS HIS FEELINGS AND KIRS IS LIKE WHAT AND THEN KIRS BOYFRIEND ROLLS UP AND HE'S GLITCHING UP A SOTRM AND JUST SHOOTS HIM AND THEN THE OTHER ENGINEERS ARE LIKE OH NO SO THEY START FIRING THEIR LASERS AND TOOLS LIKE IT WAS NUTS SHOTS WERE GOING EVERYWHERE MACHINERY WAS FYING EVERYONE WAS YELLING MY PATIENT WAS LIKE SO DEAD JUST BODIES ALL OVER THE PLACE MEANWHILE IM JUST HAVING A GIGGLE WATCHING FROM THE DOORWAY LIKE THIS IS THE BEST CASE SCENARIO BUT THEN SOMEONE SHOT ONE OF THE ACTUAL ENGINES AND THEN THAT BLEW UP AND THEN IT DESTROYED THE ONE NEXT TO IT AND SO ON AND SO FORTH SO I MEAN THAT TECHNICALLY TAKES CARE OF THE DEFECTIVE VIRUS PLAGUING THE ENGINE ROOM SO YOU SHOULD REALLY JUST BE THANKING ME RIGHT NOW I MEAN I TOTALLY SAVED THE WHOLE SHIP FROM A ROUGE DEFECTIVE VIRUS SO IF YOU FEEL LIKE REWARDING ME NOW THATD BE PRETTY GREAT THERE ARE THESE PAK UPGRADES MADE BY THE VORTIANS THAT ARE SICK AS HELL AND I REALLY THINK I CAN MAKE AN IMPROVEMENT ON THEM IN REGARDS TO DEFECTIVE REPAIRS AND DETECTION WHICH WOULD REALLY CUT DOWN ON THEIR NUMBERS.

[sehyoons]

Do you know anything about dear my heaven? Apparently she is trying to make A.C.E sick?

ya she’s a known creep who’s only gotten worse lately. 

she’s one of jackpots friends (jackpot is the only person beat has banned so far) and joked around when jackpot got banned

people who have been to fansigns say that she has made A.C.E visibly uncomfortable

idk if she has any warnings but I wouldn’t be surprised

you’re right she has tweeted very VERY distasteful things about the corona virus and A.C.E etc etc (if the dongle account is her, I’m not 100% tho)

so ya report any tweets to beat and definitely block this person. 

[namjoonxorg]

The residents of building 2A are odd; step-brothers a floor apart, no homo bros, a couple the embodiment of midnight in a grocery store, and two people who are so oblivious it hurts. Just throw in some good old drama, a pinch of sexual tension, some, off the record, cocaine and voilà; cheesy romantic plot achieved.

Introduction Part One - Get That Bread Part Two - Bamboozled Part Three - Jeon Fucking Jungkook Part Four - Late Night Burgers Part Five - You was at The Cup Part Six - Bone Apple Teeth Part Seven - I am Broke You Sick Fuck Part Eight - The Door’s Unlocked Part Nine - Put Shoes on Bitch Part Ten - This Doesn’t Concern You Part Eleven - Don’t Be Fucking Rude Part Twelve - It Is I, Shronk Part Thirteen - Two Rich Bitches Part Fourteen - Ain’t No Fish Inside Part Fifteen - Moonchild Part Sixteen - Yoted? Part Seventeen - Dongles and Headphones Part Eighteen - Well, One of Us is Going to Have to Change Part Nineteen - Alcoholics Anonymous? Part Twenty - Park Jimin Almost Killed My Children Part Twenty One - Rich Bitches Unite Part Twenty Two - Thotiana Would Thy Bust Down Part Twenty Three - Tell Me Truthfully Part Twenty Four - People Have No Manners These Days Part Twenty Five - Sad Boi Hours Part Twenty Six - S(he) S(hit) (Her)self Part Twenty Seven - The Power of Christ Compels You Part Twenty Eight - All Hail the Snack Queen Part Twenty Nine - Cheers to Despondency Part Thirty (Final) - We’re Getting the Band Back Together! Epilogue

[braincoins]

It’d been unfortunate enough to see Lotor home. Shiro had been hoping he’d be out with one of his many hangers-on, thus allowing him the access he needed. But no, the lights were on and the playboy was home... 

... with Allura.

It still stung. Even with all the times she’d said he was just a friend, it stung. Shiro wasn’t used to being jealous at all, let alone this jealous. But it was Allura and it was Lotor, and he always had to swallow it down like heartburn. Especially when she was dressed like that.

That subtly-sparkling sky blue dress that showed off her figure and reminded him of (one of) the color(s) of her eyes - her real eyes, anyway. That dress that he somehow always saw her in when she was with Lotor, when she was claiming it wasn’t a date. She’d never worn it for him, and a fresh surge of irrational jealousy rose within him.

So he took her for a night out. Doubtless he wants to use it as an excuse to try to get into her pants - or up her skirt, as the case may be - but she’s not going to let him. 

And, honestly? He hoped she did have a good time. She deserved it. He wished he were the one showing it to her, but that was never going to happen. Not this kind of good time: fancy dresses and penthouse balconies overlooking the city. His dates with Allura had always been cheap (or moderately-priced) food, maybe a movie. They’d stayed in a lot, and while it was hard to regret all the time he’d spent with her - and with her, in her bed or his - it made him wish he’d thought up more to do, that he had the money to treat her like the princess she was in his eyes.

Lotor gave her champagne, and Shiro watched her take a seat. Lotor sat close, naturally, taking advantage of the loveseat’s smaller size to press his proximity. Back off, she’s not interested. But he wished he could hear the conversation.

And then...

He almost teleported home, home home, back to his apartment, and it was only the sick twisted desire to watch that kept him in place. Like watching a car accident. 

This is an accident, right? This isn’t happening, this isn’t... She said... YOU SAID... 

It wasn’t an accident, but it didn’t look especially passionate. And she clearly was done with the evening at the end of it. But it didn’t change the fact that she hadn’t pulled away, hadn’t turned to let him run his lips into her cheek instead. And Shiro felt cold and empty inside watching the love of his life kiss a man who he was convinced was a criminal.

Silver lining: they’re leaving. Lotor left his lights on as they descended in the elevator, and Shiro seized the moment. Focus up. You can cry yourself to sleep on Iverson’s couch later.

From this rooftop, it was easy to see his way into Lotor’s penthouse. It looked like there was a bedroom, a bathroom, and everything else was open concept: living room, kitchen, dining room, and an office space all in the same large area. He went for the desk.

“Killdevil, are you there?” he asked quietly. He didn’t have access to any new Altean tech at the moment, but he still had good ol’ Bluetooth.

“Gotcha, Sunblade. You find a way in?”

“Yes,” he said, not going into details. He didn’t need everyone to know he was Paladin. “You’re sure this thing will work like you said?”

“You doubt me? I’m wounded.”

Shiro opened a cabinet door in the base of the desk and found the computer tower. “Found it.” He started tugging it out to get at the back.

“And the best part is, I used proprietary Galra tech. If he finds it, he’ll just think Daddy’s spying on him, not you.”

“That is a pretty nice benefit,” he agreed, pulling out what Krolia had given him. It was only slightly larger than the USB dongle used for a wireless mouse. 

“This is a pretty good computer,” he commented as he plugged it into a port in the back. “If this were still 2013 and all I wanted to do was play Bejeweled.”

Thace snickered. “I’m kinda glad he doesn’t game with us, y’know?”

“If he does, he’s at walking speed even when he’s mounted.” He pushed the tower back into place and closed the door. “Now for the next little surprise...”

“Do you need a ladder?”

“Nah, I think I got this. Maybe.” This was going to be difficult.

He’d proven the “teleport to the same spot over and over again” worked long ago with the disastrous Galra office break-in, but he’d never had to do something while doing it (other than hold onto Starlight - and that sent a knife twisting through him again, memories flashing of her in his arms interspersed with Lotor kissing her), and he wasn’t sure if it’d work. But no time like the present to test it.

He took out the bug Thace had put together and teleported to the light fixture above the main seating area - and again and again, to keep himself “hovering.” The light fixture seemed to almost blink in and out of existence but it was always in the same place every time, and he reached his hand out and...

It works. It was like watching himself move in a strobe light, and he fumbled a little, but he was able to plant the bug easily. “Done.”

“I wish we could get his phone,” Thace complained in his ear.

“Same,” he replied, setting himself back down on the ground. “But we’ll make do with what we have.” 

“The DA can’t use any of this, you know.”

“I know. But if I can find out who he’s meeting with, who he’s talking to, then I can go at them.”

“Go at them? Dude, you’re a reporter.”

“Not literally,” he replied hastily. “I’m not gonna go beat up drug lords or anything.” Anymore. Because I’ve already beaten up enough of them and they haven’t been able to give me much.

“Just making sure.”

“Aww, Killdevil, I didn’t know you cared.”

“Hey, you’re one of the few who can give me a run for my money in the Arena. Good opponents are hard to find.”

“True enough. Okay, I’m done. I’m getting out of here.”

“I’ll let you know what I get. Through the usual channels.”

“Right. And say hi to the boyfriend for me.”

Thace laughed and his voice grew quiet, turning away from the phone. “He says hi.” After a moment, his voice was back in full volume. “He says hi and he also wants you to be careful.”

“Well, if I’m not, I know who to turn to.” He ended the call and was almost instantly back in his dark, empty apartment again. 

His uniform slithered away, back into the arm, and he was in his civilian clothes again. His apartment had been tossed by Galra (or their agents) long ago. He left it the way it was, in case they came back. It had to look abandoned. But he paid the rent, paid the electricity - it was starting to get cold out, and he didn’t want the pipes to freeze when winter started - made sure it was still here for him. Because he was going to come back eventually.

He walked into his bedroom, laid down on the slightly-askew mattress, sheets and bedclothes tossed on the floor. He stared up at the ceiling and tried not to remember her smile, her laugh, the taste of her lips - that Lotor had now sampled, with her consent - the warmth of her in his arms. What she looked like when she was fully herself and asleep, guard down, peaceful, content.

It’d been months now. He’d thought... he’d thought she’d get the help she needed so she could come back to him. He thought she wanted that, wanted him, loved him as much as he loved her. 

He laid there in the dark and closed his eyes, his entire being centered on the ache in his heart.

{The Adventures of Starlight & Paladin}