#sigh... idk i just got way way too close to like full on mental collapse with my photosynthesis measurements so im trying to get the

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[tamagochiie]

hq boys as your tutor (subjects specified)

genre: short fluffs

characters: chikara ennoshita, tsukishima kei, tetsurou kuroo 

synopsis: you're not doing so well in a certain subject, and the boys help you out.

a/n: henlo! i'm fairly new to writing fanfics here, so please be kind! this was inspired from a routine conversation i had with my friends after watching the third ep of the new season muehehe i dedicate this first post to those two uwa!

warnings: none 

—Tsukishima Kei | math, probably

during the first few tutoring sessions, tsukki holds a serious disposition. he's there as your tutor and nothing more; he won't come earlier than expected and won't stay any longer than he needs to you unless you need him to.

but after your many attempts to lighten him up, he'll begin to ease around you, but not enough to become as a distraction. he'll ask you how your day went before you start the session, and he'll ask you how you're feeling after it.

you're fully aware how unapologetically mean tsukki can be, but unlike when he's tutoring kageyama and hinata, he’s tad nicer to you. because he's not entirely close with you, he holds back. he knows full well it'll only hurt yourself esteem if he comments on your inability to get the answer right away.

to your surprise, when you get something wrong after a few tries, he won't groan in frustration or visibly show his irritation. he'll keep it to himself because he knows it'll only make you feel small. so, instead, he'll swallow his urge to comment and patiently explains once more.

he won't praise you when you finally get an answer right, but he'll say things like "good job" or "well, that was better than last time."

bonus: when you pass a test or at the very least, get past your own personal best, he’ll buy you bread and milk from the near by bakery as a reward. 

"I'm sorry," You sigh, dropping your pencil to the side before burying your head into your hands. Its your fifth attempt at the equation, and Tsukki's sixth attempt to explain it to you.

You swallow thickly, bracing for the impact of Tsukki's string of cruel words he's probably been preparing for this exact moment. But to your surprise, you feel a light tug on the cuff of your jacket and you raise your head to find Tsukki as still as the air around you.

"You don't need to be sorry," He assures, shifting in his spot on the floor beside you to move a little closer. "You needed a tutor for a reason." With the right tone, it would've probably sounded condescending. Though his expression’s blank, you can clearly hear the sincerity in his voice.

"I'm probably the dumbest one you've taught by far." You joke, laughing at yourself as you ruffle your hair in frustration. 

"Oh, trust me," He Tsukki says, smirking as he rolls his eyes, "there's a couple of idiots I know who'd wish you were the dumbest one I've taught."

You squint your eyes, puzzled because you didn't quite catch what he said. You aren't sure if it was an indirect pass to mock you or if it was a failed try at a compliment.

—Chikara Ennoshita | idk but i imagine english

to no surprise, he's extremely patient and would cheer you up every time you got frustrated trying to pronounce the words properly. he'd encourage you to take as much time as you need; and for every apology, he'd simply smile and tell you not to be.

though, he'd give you a displeased look every time you'd call yourself dumb or say you want to give up because you can't pick it up fast enough.

he has really pretty, organized notes, so its easier for you to read it as a reference from time to time.

when he notices you feeling a bit off before a session, he'll give you day off and try to do something fun instead. to him, mental health is more important than academics.

You sink deep into your thoughts as you are in your seat.

Heavy is your head that holds the most thoughts.

You take a breath, trying to ease yourself before Ennoshita arrives, but if anything, you feel like crying.

Today had been trying every last inch of your kindness and patience. From your parents' early morning nagging about your grades to a petty, miscalculated fight with your best friend. In hind sight, it probably wasn't much to cry over, but you were overworked and ready to collapse.

You're even too tired to notice Ennoshita sitting on the edge of the table, waving his hand over your face to get your attention. You offer him a small, faltering smile that he doesn't buy.

"You know what," Ennoshita pushes himself off the table before kneeling beside you. You and your thoughts finally gravitate back to earth; and shift from your lazed posture to look down at the bubbling boy before you, "How about we cancel today's tutoring session and do something else?"

You tilt your head, knitting your brows. "I don't follow..."

Ennoshita clears his throat and moves a little closer to you, “I think it’ll only be counter productive if your thoughts are else where...How can I possible teach you if you’re not entire here?” 

“I’m sorry,” You apologize, sighing. The weight of your own body growing heavier than your heart and your mind the longer the conversation continues on. “I’ll be more present.” 

He raises his hand, shaking his head. When he says your name in a whisper, you feel a release of tension on your chest, “We’re not studying today,” He clarifies, “Let’s going somewhere--do something fun. And if you want, you can tell me what’s bringing you down.”

"But I need to study."

"But if you do study, it'll only be disappointing for you because you won't be able to retain a single thing." He lightly taps your forehead, making you flinch. "So, will you do me the honor of taking my hand and trust me?"

You’re hesitant, but excitement twinges in your chest at the thought of doing something in the spur of the moment causes you take his hand anyway. “My mental health is in your hands, Ennoshita-san.” 

—Tetsuro Kuroo | science (of course)

it'll amaze you how great he is at teaching. he uses layman terms to help you understand in a way that'll make you forget you're even learning. he’s laid back and he'll treat you like you're close even when you're not just to get you comfortable around him.

he's attentive, so he keeps a mental note of what works for you and what doesn't when he first begins tutoring you. he'll adjust to you and your pace, making sure never to push you too far.

he'll crack jokes in the middle of teaching you a formula just to ease the tension. sometimes he'll even play some music in the background. (to be funny, he'll even play the periodic table song.)

when he realizes the silence of the library doesn't help you focus, he changes the next meeting place. he'll try different places; the cafe, the nearby ramen house, and even at the park. but he'll eventually come to the decision to bring you to his house. there's barely any noise, but it isn't silent enough to have you bouncing your leg.

bonus: he'll become your personal cheerleader whether if its just the two of you studying, or when you're about to take a test. 

"Can you dumb it down for me?" You ask, laughing at your inability to become a sponge, throwing your head back. "Maybe we can skip this par—"

"Ohh no," Kuroo protests, shaking his head, "I believe in you! I'll explain it one more time, and if you don't get it, then we'll take a brain break. How's that sound?"

You grimace, not too keen on the idea. "We can take a brain break now."

"No." He deadpans. "Take a deep breath—" Kuroo inhales, raising his arms towards the ceiling before bring it down to the floor and letting go of all the air in his lungs, "and then exhale."

"Your breath smells bad." You joke, crinkling your nose as you pretend to wave off the fake stench of his breath.

He looks at you in shock, hurt faintly etched in the outlines of his face. He brings his hand close to his mouth, checking his breath and you laugh, earning a glare from him.

"If you have time to crack a joke, you have time review."

You frown, but eventually give into him. "Fine, fine."

He claps his hands before rubbing them together. "Okay, lemme explain it again." 

[taechaos]

Idea tae really don't know how to take things seriously lol, but gotta admit the end was hella hot, Idk why but something in Tae telling you to sleep so he could fuck you is way too nwido3bdo3nek. Also when I imagined what could happend after, I had this idea of the OC trying to sleep but couldn't because of the nerves of what was going to happend, so they both know she was awake but he still fuck her as if she was and she just act as if she was during it, like a improve/telepathic role play lol.

I have way too much free time

no one asked but im going to write it anyway 💀if anyone needs a backstory

Back then, you merely speculated what happened at nighttime that left you all sore or drowsy in the morning. You could never guess what Taehyung would do or when he would do it, but now that you have closure, now that you know when Taehyung is going to do what he's been doing for some time now with a hiatus in between, you're not having trouble sleeping. You're having trouble staying awake.

It's approaching 5 AM and your dumbified brain can't justify the reason as to why you turn away the opportunity to catch up on so much lost rest when you finally can. Maybe after feeling insecure for so long, you want to feel wanted. Maybe you just miss Taehyung's touch.

Whatever it is, you don't listen to your body and keep your redshot eyes open that droop regardless of your anticipation.

Did he fall asleep?

The sheets shift under your bodies when Taehyung takes his arms off of you to lie on his back. There's more shuffling and you're hit with the realization that he's also been waiting. He must have assumed you fell asleep after not moving for so long like you tend to do when you're restless. It makes your heart pang with anxiety, and it gradually falls out of rhythm when you hear him presumably sliding down his briefs. You're going on mere assumptions from the noise, and hearing him spit in his hand supports your mental image.

You hear him inhale and imagine this is the part where he wraps his hand around himself, slowly stroking his length to prepare for what he would do to you, you who is still awake—why?

A deep hum resounds in the room and your toes curl at the sound. You can hear his strokes, how his fist picks up the pace and hits against his pelvis.

You almost shudder when you feel a hand sliding to your hip, down to the waistline where he gently tugs to pull your pajamas down to your calves. You realize a second later that it's past your thighs with your underwear. How do you not wake up from this every time it happens?

He pulls your leg on top of his to give himself access of your pussy, and a gasp is stuck in your throat when two fingers graze your folds. His erection is pressing against your butt and you can't suppress the shiver that racks your body, but this must have happened before since Taehyung doesn't cease his movements.

But then he pauses. You purse your lips into a hard line as to not make any noise when he slides a finger up and down your labia, slick with your arousal. Your head unintentionally tilts, very slightly.

That's not what makes him sharply exhale from his nose in amusement. It's the fact that you're aroused in your sleep—supposedly. There's nothing unusual about your squirming but the fact that you're wet is a little... suspicious.

Typically, he'd have to use his spit to ease himself into your entrance, but since you're practically dripping on his fingers, he skips that step. Just to mess with you a little bit though, he begins to circle your clit to see if you'd still keep up the act. You nails latch onto your pillow to take out your pleasure on something—anything. Your knee bends ever so slightly, and he takes a subtle peek to test his suspicion.

The sight under him makes his knowing smile falter instantly and cock throb. Your jaw hangs with your eyes rolled back to your skull, lashes fluttering from the action. But still no sound.

He'd expect you to at least grind on him, considering the torturously slow speed of his fingers on your sensitive nub, but you're so determined to fool him.

Well, two can play that game.

Routine requires him to lube you up while also being mindful of your unconscious state, but since you're very awake and alert, he's allowed to switch things up. He slams your hips against his, and your breath hitches before he pokes your entrance with the tip of his cock. Slow and carefully, he inserts the head, earning him a blissful sigh. He bites his lip and glares at the back of your head. He was right in calling you stupid earlier; what's the point of being quiet when you're still making sounds? Why not just give him the full experience instead?

But you'd be embarrassed, of course, not wanting him to know of your wanton, mutual desire for him. It's frustrating... but fine. He kept it a secret at first too; he'll just have to empathize for now.

Except empathy was never his strongest suit, and translates to forcing you to face the truth by shoving the rest of his length inside you in one go. You squeak at the unexpected motion and stretch, but hope the resonant rumble reverberating in his chest drowns it out. The idea is a reach, but you convince yourself that's the case with rose tinted cheeks. To think this used to happen every night...

He bottoms out for a few seconds, gaping at you with an intimidating stare that you can't see before dragging his cock out halfway and thrusting in again, stuck in this spooning position where your legs are tangled. He hums a deep moan when he sets a rough pace, in harmony with your hips that grind down on him.

A breathless chuckle escapes him when he notices; as if your quiet gasps weren't enough, now you're meeting his thrusts. He can't keep up this pretend game any longer.

Your hair is pulled back from your shoulder to your back, baring your neck that he bites on. Not enough to draw blood, but enough to make you shriek mixed with a moan.

"Oh sorry, did I wake you, princess?" He doesn't bother sounding apologetic and instead rams into you harder after stilling your hips.

"Yes," you whine, and he doesn't know whether you're answering the question or expresssing your pleasure.

Just like he'd hoped, your moans finally mix together and the feeling of your tight, clenching walls along with your moans drives him animalistic, no longer caring for his victory in that stupid game; only you and your ruts.

"Harder," you demand weakly, body slowly going limp from your lack of energy. The sleepiness is catching up to you once more, but your release is so close.

Your state doesn't go missed, and since you're not in a position to protest against his wishes, he takes this opportunity to sit up and lift your ass, only taking a second to return to his previous tempo.

The different angle emits louder moans from you, though still limp, and he's practically in heaven when he starts kneading your ass. These are all of his desires happening at once in full speed.

His rapid thrusts are turning sloppy, sweat beginning to cummulate on his chest and forehead when he commands, "Touch yourself."

You oblige with a whine, and it becomes all too much for him to resist; he slams into you slowly, but with fervour. It's almost too intense for him to hold back any longer. "Good girl," he grunts with a wince. He's reluctant when he pulls out to pump himself while watching you masturbate, ass still high in the air. He needs to get you some contraceptives as soon as possible; cumming like this is torture.

He's staring at your erotic face when he groans, his release landing on your back and butt in white strings before you follow suit. He collapses on his stomach next to you while your body spasms and twitches, taking a minute to recover from your orgasm. He rubs your back, occasionally scratching at your back as you stop kneeling on the mattress.

"You gonna pretend to sleep tomorrow too?" he teases with a dazed grin.

"Shut up," you grumble as you get into a comfortable position, snuggling into his chest with a pout.

The action reminds him of your old self. You used to be affectionate with him, always wishing to spend time with him before these taboo feelings got in the middle of your relationship. He was your role model, but he doesn't care about losing the imagine you had of him. But it endears him to see a glimpse of your neediness again, warms his heart to be like this with you again.

He wraps an arm around your shoulder and enjoys this moment a little longer before dimming his eyes.

[hatsukeii]

Not a request, just something I thought of while listening to a song.

Gonna be a scenario!!

And for once it’s not a haikyuu one lolol sorry to disappoint.

It’s an Attack on Titan one because LEVI.

I’m sorry I’m soft for him.

(Even though he’s like 20+ years older than me but age is just a number jail’s just a room-)

(Jk lol I’m not about to have him catch a case)

Are You Bored Yet?// Levi x reader

Word count： 2000+ idk the exact number bc I went back and changed some stuff

Warnings: Little bit of swearing

Summary: You and Levi have never really had much time to think about your relationship, until the night before the plan to recapture the lost land within Wall Maria.

This was one of those nights.

Those precious nights in the Survey Corps, where Levi wasn’t at his mahogany table, writing up piles amongst piles of paperwork until his fingers cramped and his wrists felt numb, drinking so many cups of tea at such a quick pace it looks like he’s just straight up inhaling the scorching liquid.

But also one of those nights, where the tension in the air is so thick you can cut it with a knife. The wavering mentality of everyone in the Survey Corps was evident in the way they acted that particular evening. From the silence in the dining hall, to the soldiers showing more affection to their comrades compared to usual. They all knew what awaited them tomorrow. Maybe this was what people described as the pre boss battle stress. The kind of anxiety that ate you up from inside, slowly taking over you.

Dinner ended hours ago. Lights in the cabins were off, leaving you in pitch darkness. The faint glow from the moon that hung above your head lit up the patch of grassy land you laid on. To say you weren’t nervous would be an understatement. The past few months have been nothing but cruel. Who knew the titans were going to somehow get to the walls again? Watching your comrades die each expedition as if it was normal probably hardened you more than necessary. Letting your hands travel to under your head, you let your head tilt up to gaze at the starry sky. Your eyes darted from star to star, trying to count them, hoping that would help silence out all the made up scenarios about tomorrow you were making.

“Can I join you?” A low, but oh so familiar voice asked behind you. “No babe, you can’t. What do you think? Of course you can join.” You joked, patting the area next to you as Levi sat himself down, refusing to lie down on the “filthy” grass.

Being orphaned was not fun. At all. You never received any form of care from anyone. Your parents wanted a boy. A girl was the last thing they asked for, let alone two girls. The minute you turned five, the two adults chucked you two out on the streets to fend for yourself. For three whole years, you cowered behind your sister as she handled difficult situations. Stealing, bribing, defending, those were her fortes. Till now, you still blamed yourself for her death. You tried to steal bread from a vendor. A beefy vendor. The man snapped, sending punch after punch towards you. Your sister intervened, hoping to stop his assault on you. Jumping in front of you, she took all the blows that came her way, skilfully dodging the kicks and punches the man threw out, a crowd starting to form around the fight. You watched, clutching onto the bread, as a drop of blood dripped from her nose to the ground, followed by more droplets. Three other men stepped in to assist the vendor, sending harsh blows with bats, planks, everything and anything at their disposal. The crowd’s cheers echoed through the street as they egged the fight on. The beefy vendor was now straddling your sister, sending punch after punch towards your sister’s bruised and bloody face. Run, she told you. Leave her and get to somewhere safe, she screamed, before a crunch, followed by a pained yell pierced the air. Get away, she choked out, before one of the men got bored and snapped her neck, all signs of life in her eyes gone within a second. Petrified, you dropped the pastry, running away as quick as your little feet could bring you. You didn’t know where you were going, nor did you know whether the three men were following you. All you knew to do was to run away. That was your sister’s last request. You collapsed on the side of the road, eyes wide and darting across the street, praying you were alone. You curled up into a ball on the street, tears rolling down your cold cheeks as you rocked back and forth. The way her face paled as blood continued to drip onto the street when her neck snapped was etched into your brain. That wasn’t gonna leave any time soon. It could’ve been minutes, or hours that had passed, when you felt something shoved into your arms. “Here, have this.” You tiredly looked up at the raven haired boy that was about your age, who was now looking at you with bored eyes. You tore out a tiny piece of the warm bread, your trembling hand leading it into your mouth. The boy rolled his eyes, wiping his hand on his shirt. “You alone or what?” All you could do was timidly nod your head. You were far from composed enough to make out any proper sentences. “You wanna tag along? I can help you out until you’re good to go.”

You two stuck together for the longest time. You remember when Levi introduced you to Isabel and Farlan, who taught you how to master the ODM gear. The four of you relied on each other in the underground, sharing materials, food, water, all that. When the three joined the Survey Corps, you joined with them. On your first expedition, you watched as your comrades, those you trained for years and eventually became close with, get devoured by titans. You joined up with Levi, brutally killing the titan that decided eating Farlan and Isabel was a good idea. You held him that night while he cried about two of his best friends that met their gruesome fate. Never once have you ever left his side when he needed you most.

It didn’t come as a surprise when you eventually caught feelings for him. I mean he’s ripped, hot as hell, smart, and can beyblade his way to victory, what was there not to like? What did come as a surprise, was when he admitted his feelings towards you before your second expedition together. Since then, you guys have been dating, becoming nearly inseparable during missions.

To say your relationship was smooth sailing would be a lie. There have been times where you’ve had full blown arguments with him. Dating in the military was not an easy ordeal. You were constantly worried about Levi, and vice versa. Making it up to each other was probably the thing you guys did the most. All that mattered was that you guys kept your asses alive, so you could go home together.

You continued to stare at the sky, salvaging the rare peaceful night. You let your eyes close as you relaxed in the grass. Nights like these almost never existed. Levi was usually too busy for this shit. However his paperwork was all finished, which meant he finally had a chance to really enjoy your presence. The occasional gust of wind that blew over you two, and Levi’s attempts to get comfortable on the grassy floor were the only audible sounds. Your lips curled up into a tiny grin, imagining how Levi looked like right now. “Screw it.” You felt his shoulder against yours as you chuckled lightly. “I knew you would give in.”

You two laid there in a comfortable silence, relaxing one last time, hoping it could last forever. 

“Are you bored yet?”

Your eyes fluttered open. Levi rarely asked questions like this. This was a start.

You looked over to him, taking in his appearance in the moonlight. His eyes were focused on the stars, his breathing light and almost inaudible.

“Bored of what?”

His eyes never left the sky.

“Are you bored of this yet? Are you bored of me? Bored of doing the same things every single damn day? Bored of life? Going out, fighting titans, watching people that have grown close to us waste their lives out on the battlefield, aren’t you bored of all of it? Do you sometimes just want to end it all?”

You were silent for a moment, trying to understand his question.

“Why would I ever be bored of you?”

“Why would you not? It’s been six whole years, I’m surprised you still put up with me.”

You sighed out, turning your head back towards the sky.

“Levi, do you ever get bored of counting stars?”

A look of confusion plastered on his face as he thought about it for a bit.

“No. I don’t.”

“Why don’t you get bored of it?”

He turned his head towards the sky, letting his eyes close.

“Maybe something about the stars just fascinates me to an extent. I can’t get bored of them. They’re just so pretty. You’d think they were just dots, but if they ever fell onto Earth, it’d be a total shitshow. Billions of stars, just in the sky for us to observe. We don’t really know much about them either. I guess that’s my reason for not being bored.”

You nodded, humming in response.

“Well, I’m not bored of you because I’m fascinated by you, even now. Just like the stars. Maybe life as a soldier has hardened you to the point where watching your comrades die just doesn’t affect you, or you hide all your emotions under that pretty little face of yours. Sometimes, I don’t understand how you just fall asleep on a chair, or how your brain still manages to function on three hours of sleep. There’s so much to learn about you. One thing I did figure out, is that you wear your heart on your sleeve, you just never tell people. You’d rather try to move on than open up to someone. As long as there’s something to discover about the outside world, the titans, you, I would never get bored.”

Levi huffed out, continuing his “interrogation.”

“Then what now? It’s been six years of doing the same thing, this will eventually get boring for the both of us.” The pain in his voice he tried so hard to hide finally showed itself.

“We continue to do this shit. As long as it takes for us to finally be able to be free outside the walls. I don’t plan on letting it get boring anytime soon. I want humanity to be able to breathe in the air from outside the walls. I want them to see the ocean, smell and taste the salt in the ocean breeze by the sea. Be able to experience everything written in those little textbooks of theirs, instead of just read about it on paper. I won’t stop until that goal is reached, nor will I lose interest. And don’t you even come up with that bullshit, about how I’ll eventually get bored of you. I love you way too much to get bored of you. We’ve been through so much together, it would be a waste if I threw that all away.”

“Aren’t you scared? Tomorrow, more people are going to die for sure. Who knows if it’s going to be one of us?” Another question came out from his mouth.

“Who said I wasn’t scared? I’m always scared. I can’t afford to lose you, or anyone I love. You better not die on me tomorrow, or I’ll bring you back and kill you all over again. Humanity’s strongest is about to carry us to victory with a brave heart and a killer glare.”

The raven haired man chuckled at that statement, taking your hand in his and intertwining your fingers.

“If you knew me, you’d know I’m far from being brave. You really think I’m unaffected by the deaths of other soldiers? If I could, I would save every single one of them. I’m scared too. Terrified. I can’t bear to imagine how life would be without you, or anyone from my squads. You’re right, I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I don’t trust anyone enough to open up to them. Maybe except you. I just wish that one day, humanity will finally be triumphant against the titans. I don’t care what it takes. I’d do it without hesitation even if it costs me my life.”

Bringing your hand up to his face, he gave each knuckle a soft peck, before holding it to his chest. The back of your hand felt his steady heartbeat, thumping against his chest like a drum.

“However, I don’t plan on dying anytime soon. Not when I have you protect you. As long as I still have energy to breathe, I’m going to continue to protect your ass, no questions asked. You better not die tomorrow either, or I’ll do the exact same thing you just said.”

You shifted your body, leaning against Levi’s side as you rested your head on his shoulder, smiling at yourself.

“I do have a pretty killer glare though don’t I love?”

You laughed a bit at his boastful joke, giving his cheek a light peck, before resting your head back on his shoulder.

“Yeah, you definitely do. Pretty sure Eren pisses his pants every time you send him that death glare.”

After rewriting this like twice bc of my computer glitching it is finally done oh my god I’m so tired rn I feel like death. I’ll do all the requests tomorrow, for now just stick with this shitty oneshot I decided to write out of impulse.

(Btw this is an example of me writing a scenario based on a song. If any of you guys know it then like please be my friend)

References:

Are you bored yet- Wallows

Are you bored yet (official music video)

Genius interview lol

The comments section on the music video and other variations of that song

[smolla-than-a-bug]

Death Eaters, Eh?

A/N: i’ve always liked the idea of a supernatural x harry potter crossover idk why sksksk and then this happened sjjsjssjjs i’m not too proud of this but i hope you guys like it :))

|| Masterlist ||

pairing: harry potter x fem!reader, dad!dean winchester x daughter!reader

timeline: harry potter and the deathly hallows

summary: Hunting all her life is a handful—especially when having Dean Winchester for a father—so when Y/N catches a glimpse of leaving to make her own apple pie life, she seizes it. However, she discovers that what they say is true: No one can truly escape the hunter's life.

warnings: swearing

THIRD PERSON P.O.V.

Y/N sighed, tiredly, as she struggled to fix herself another mug of coffee. The coffee maker, for some reason, refused to function properly no matter what she did to try and make it work. She was already experiencing difficulty with her attempt at being normal, and it really showed.

Ever since she had moved to London to live the 'apple pie life', as her father so referred to it, she had had trouble adjusting. The shift from full-time hunter of the supernatural to full-time normal teenager, balancing work and uni, constantly made her want to vomit. Back at home, things were dealt with a simple "Shoot first. Ask questions later," and voila—problem solved. Although, she knew that she would someday become accustomed to living the normal life.

She allowed her phone's screen to illuminate. Thursday, it read. She groaned.

Her paper was due on Friday, which was the next day, and she had been too caught up with work to notice the days that went by. As a result, here she was—struggling to write a paper.

It was during these moments that made Y/N miss hunting with her dad and uncle. She missed researching in the vast library of the bunker, and she longed to once again experience another banter with her dad in the Impala. That was home to her.

It did not help that her wonderful boyfriend was away at a mysterious boarding school—one that only permitted letters delivered via literal owls for communication—for most of the year. It was weird, but then again, Y/N thought, who was she to judge?

She hadn't heard from Harry until earlier in the week, receiving a piece of parchment delivered to her by an owl named Errol with forward, hastily scribbled words that read:

School won't be allowing mail this year. Don't send Errol back. Love you. -Harry

This left Y/N confused beyond words, but she brushed it off, nevertheless. She was able to learn how to care for an owl in a span of a few days.

-

When Y/N finally got the coffee machine working, she unintentionally filled her mug to the brim, streams of her coffee furiously cascading down her mug and onto the counter.

"Dammit," she swore, frustrated that pouring coffee was just another thing she failed at doing properly. She just wanted to sleep.

It was when Y/N turned to find a rag, to clean up the mess she made, that she heard a loud crack which seemed to have emanated from the living area.

Y/N jerked at the alarming noise as her hunter instincts kicked her in the face, she suddenly felt awake. Someone was in her apartment. She abandoned the idea of finding a rag, and she snatched a knife off of the counter instead, crouching behind the granite kitchen island.

She then heard another loud crack, and another, followed by a voice unknown to her as well as some violent sniffing.

"Where's the girl?" one of them inquired—male, Y/N made sure to note. Y/N concluded that she was the 'girl' in question. Now, she was aware that the unwelcome visitors were after her. Was this another Men of Letters thing? It couldn't possibly be.

The sound of footsteps seemed to get louder, indicating that the intruders were getting closer. Her right hand clutched the knife firmly, mentally preparing to engage. She could then make out the three sets of feet making their way to the island she was hiding behind.

When Y/N decided it was time to make an appearance, she popped up from behind the counter, and threw it at the first figure she saw. She noted that in her kitchen stood two male figures and one female.

The knife plunged itself into the shoulder of a man she deemed as one hairy bastard. The said hairy bastard let out an animalistic growl and launched himself at her. Werewolf.

Y/N fought back as best as she could, remembering all of her training as a hunter. She felt a wave of adrenaline engulf her at the experience, which she had longed for. The werewolf's bizarre female companion let out a maniacal cackle.

"GREYBACK!" the male associate with the long white-blonde hair scolded—the dude screamed authority. "We need her," but 'Greyback', as he was now known, refused to move, "Alive."

And Greyback hesitantly retreated slowly. Snarling, he revealed his canines.

Seeing wands in the hands of the intruders, Y/N knew they practiced magic. Witches—lovely, she bitterly thought, having momentary recollections of how much her dad had openly expressed his distaste for witches.

Y/N knew it was a dumb decision, but she was a Winchester and she could not conjure a more sensible idea. She made a break for it, managing to push past the woman, only to have her arms forced to her sides and thrashing in the grip of Greyback.

Blondie spoke again, this time directed at Y/N. He tutted, "Filthy muggle."

Y/N growled at him, and then shouted in frustration. "Son of a bitch! Damn I hate witches." She fully understood where her father's fiery hate came from now.

"Oh, so I see Potter's told you about us?" sneered the woman.

Y/N was confused. "Potter? As in Harry? What does he have to do with this?"

The three froze in surprise before the woman spoke again, "So it seems as though he has not," before letting out another cackle. She seemed to ne enjoying this a little much.

"Curious," Blondie observed.

"Would you cut the shit? What's curious, and what does my boyfriend have to do with this?" Y/N was annoyed, the slightest bit betrayed even. She suddenly felt as though significant details on Harry's life had been kept from her knowledge.

Blondie ignored her. "What are you?"

"I'm a hunter, you genious," Y/N rolled her eyes. Blondie looked surprised, but quickly put himself together and smirked. "Thought you might've known that already, but.. guess not."

He hummed, "Bellatrix, you've got a new toy."

-

"Death Eaters? Seriously? Okay, so you're Death Eaters.. So.. You eat d– is that how it works?"

Y/N was bound on her desk chair with rope in the middle of her living area, surrounded by more witches and wizards who referred to themselves as 'Death Eaters'. They gave her the privilege of experiencing the Cruciatus Curse, which hurt like a bitch, but this was not the first time Y/N had to endure torture.

"I am not going to repeat myself. Now, where is Harry Potter?" demanded Lucius.

"That depends," Y/N pursed her lips. She would protect Harry with her life. It's her job as a hunter to protect, and she was only driven all the more by her undying love for him. "Who's asking?"

Lucius responded with a look of disbelief and irritation as he was slowly getting fed up with her games. It was silent for a moment.

"Well then.. I ain't tellin' ya." Y/N flashed them a wide smile.

Y/N was bloody, bruised, and tired; but, she refused to lose her charisma and give the damn wizards the satisfaction of breaking her. Moreover, she would rather they torture her than Harry.

Lucius looked to Bellatrix. She raised her wand, but before she could screetch the word 'Crucio', a red beam of light interrupted, followed by many more, and the Death Eaters all made their escape.

None other than Harry, Ron, and Hermione emerged from the source of the lights. Y/N let out a breath she was not aware she was holding.

Harry rushed over to her side, removing the ropes that bound her to the chair and allowing her to collapse onto the floor. Looking her over, he was horrified at her injuries and at the evidence of torture.

Hugging Y/N to himself, he kept mumbling the words "I'm sorry" over and over again while tears fell down his cheeks. He could hardly see over his glasses, which were situated crookedly on his nose.

"It's okay," Y/N tried to get Harry's attention, but it seemed as though he could not hear her over his tears and apologies. "Hey– Harry!"

That caught his attention. When he finally brought his green eyes to meet hers, he did not expect to be met with Y/E/C orbs that seemed to be filled with experience with these kinds of things. Y/N was composed—not fully, but enough—and she did not seem very fazed by the fact that she'd been tortured.

Bringing her hands up to cup his cheeks and wipe away his tears, Y/N whispered, "I'm okay," before attempting for a smile, pressing her forehead to his, and allowing a single tear to leak out of her left eye.

Harry kissed Y/N’s forehead, and let out a shuddered breath. He then rested his right hand on the nape of her neck, his left hand around her waist, and he nestled his face on the crook of her neck. In turn, Y/N wrapped her arms around him.

They remained on the floor like this, in tears, holding each other close before Ron popped the question: "What are we to do now?"

Slowly pulling away, Harry rested his hands on Y/N's arms. "I guess she comes with us."

[sweetdeathwrites]

silent night

Summary: Holiday shopping is always stressful, but somehow, Gokudera managed to finish shopping even with the added responsibilities of his duties as right hand man to Tsuna and the organization of the annual Vongola-Varia holiday party. Still, Gokudera can't shake the feeling that he's missing something... and he hates not knowing.

[23 year old!Gokudera Hayato/Reader] Warnings: angst, doubt, self-hatred, guilt.... the full package baby! plus some sexual innuendo/referenced sexual situations

Word Count: 6,253

(reposted [crossposted? idk what that means...] from my Luna/AO3 account!)

(Original author’s note and details:

[a gift for dark_wing19 in the 2018 Holiday Fic Trade!! Happy Holidays and I hope you enjoy!] A/N: Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas if you celebrate that, and Happy New Year! This was so incredibly fun to write and I never really pegged myself as the type of person to enjoy writing holiday fic!! I mention a few times about the Vongola having a Holiday party instead of a Christmas party because I wanted to be respectful of all readers, but also because don’t you think the Vongola would do just that?? I can imagine the Vongola and Varia getting into arguments about how to celebrate everyone’s holidays without having multiple parties because, as we all know, parties that extend well into hundreds of people are no doubt expensive, but more importantly, the Vongola and Varia are very busy people! And all that plane fare for those groups going from one place to the other?? That would just break the bank! I like to imagine the top bosses (yes, I’m including Dino) gathering together and deciding that they will all have one big party together, and celebrate every holiday and religious day that occurs within the season! I think the bosses can be very reasonable when it comes to parties. This fic is for dark_wing19!! I’m really sorry about the wait, I had this almost done by Dec 24th and planned to post on Christmas but time got away from me and blah blah blah… It IS still technically within the deadline so I hope you didn’t wait too long! I tried to use all prompts, “In search of the perfect gift,” “All I want for Christmas is you,” “Sometimes the best gifts aren’t materialistic,” and “It’s the thought that counts!”. Hope you enjoy it! It got weirdly angsty for a hot sec so sorry about that lol I imagine Gokudera and the gang are older in here, but not quiet 10YL! Yet. Maybe they’re 23?)

–––––––––––––––––––––––––

It’s that time of the year again. Bells are ringing, children play in the freshly fallen snow, and the storefronts sparkle with unbeatable, slashed deals. It’s twilight, and Christmas trees and light decorations shine warmly in nearby parks, leaving the general feeling of contentedness twisting in the air. Couples walk down the street, arm in arm, blushing with a gentle passion as their little intimate bubbles of love remain unburst by the slow muddle of foot traffic. The one, teensy, ashen little smudge on the eve of the most magical time of the year is currently pushing against traffic, through lovebirds who squawk in protest and annoyance, and stepping in wide arcs much too harshly, crunching and slushing freshly fallen snow. Children complain and some throw feeble snowballs, but they all miss (did they want to deal with the consequences of if, by some terrible, unlikely miracle, they hit him?). Big, poisonous clouds of smoke curl out from his nostrils like some sort of fairy tale dragon, and lovers and young ones alike know to stay clear from him. This man is Gokudera Hayato.

Gokudera has his mind on other things, though. Right now, he’s thinking of his boss and friends– the people he’s been calling his family for years. He’s marking down everyone he’s gotten presents for and which gift wrap would suit them the best (because of course he’s going to color code them– how could he not?), all the while shouldering his way back to his shared apartment with you. Finally, his gift shopping was over! It was long and hard, with a famiglia as big as his, but the famous Smoking Bomber got through it all, even if he was cutting it a little close to the deadline! Confident in his memory, Gokudera checks his mental list (more than twice, in fact) to be sure everyone is accounted for. He is proud of himself for this, which isn’t something he can say about everything he does.

“Tsuna’s got a new watch, tie, and cologne set… Baseball idiot has a gift card to that stupid milk-based snack store and knife sharpening stones… Even Turf-Top has tickets to a boxing tournament… Lambo… that kid’s got candy… Who else…?” Gokudera murmurs to himself as he trods home, weary and eager to put down the multitude of bags that have been digging pale, red indents into his skin for the past few hours, cutting off circulation and making his already sour attitude almost unbearable. Gokudera hoists the paper straps higher up his forearms and regrips the about dozen in his hands with a new intensity: just a few more minutes and he would be home. Home with you– a hot chocolate in his hands, some soft holiday music playing in the background, and a blanket wrapped around him and the most lovely little minx he’s ever seen in his life: you! By now, the pile of presents under the Holiday tree (named so, by all of the Vongola to respect every member’s religion and beliefs!) must be taller than the tree itself!

Gokudera has hardly had a second to take for himself in the past few weeks, consumed by business and his duties as Tsuna’s right hand man, not to mention organizing the Vongola Holiday Hullabaloo (named by popular vote in order to be truly inclusive, and also, perhaps to be just the slightest bit silly. Gokudera can’t say it with a serious face. The Vongola family uses every possible chance to make him say it.) single handedly. Maybe the single handedly part was Gokudera’s own fault, as he stubbornly refused help from anyone… But besides that, and the gift buying, Gokudera sighs with the relief that comes from finally finishing all his tasks. Now that he has a second to himself, Gokudera can’t help but wonder what may lie under the Holiday tree for him… Maybe you got him some new jewelry, or perhaps a piece of technology from Giovanni that would allow him to modify his boxes with even more firepower! Or maybe a coupon for a couple’s massage excursion– no, a full on spa day together? With that thought, Gokudera takes a deep, slow breath.

Calm down, boy, he thinks to himself, Don’t get excited over what you don’t know.

In truth, Gokudera has been rather stressed lately. He misses the time he had, before this chaotic season, that he spent with you.

In his thoughts, everything seems perfect. Gokudera’s fantasizing about hurrying home and collapsing in your arms is a bit dramatic– what else can be expected of him?– but there’s something bothering him… Something at the back of his mind that just gnaws and gnaws until suddenly, but building ever so slowly, there are big holes of anxiety in his brain like swiss cheese. What the hell is missing?

“Shit,” Gokudera mumbles. He finally moves away from impeding pedestrian traffic and finds a small bench where he can rest his feet for a bit, but more importantly, riffle through his purchases. He feels like something’s missing. It’s a feeling he absolutely hates.

“Tsuna, Yamamoto, Ryohei, Lambo, Mukuro and Chrome, Hibari, Kyoko, Haru, Big Sis, some smaller stuff for the Varia… A box of chocolates for Tsuna’s Maman… Reborn…”

The more Gokudera digs through dozens of paper bags, the harder a feeling of emptiness sets in. His brow furrows as he counts every gift once more, grinding the butt of his nearly smoked out cigarette between his teeth.

What the hell is missing?

Feeling the frustration build, he pulls out his pack and lights another cigarette, rubbing out the used one on the bench. Gokudera fumbles around in his winter coat for a lighter he knows is in there and bites the fresh cigarette between his teeth. After coming up empty, he drops the rest of the bags the were weighing on his wrists to search his other pocket– he knows he has his lighter in there somewhere!

Gokudera’s fingers find it in the downy inner pocket of the overcoat, next to a small, but very important box that he’s kept in there for a few months, blunt nails bumping against smooth plastic that he’s so familiar with. The muscles around his mouth tug in what you, his darling beloved would call a slight smile; strangers that hurriedly pass him might call it different. The hunched man seated on a bench in the snow, surrounded by too many bags for a single man to carry, glaring pure heat indiscriminately at everything that moves would be more inclined to call that a grimace, or less politely, a full out snarl. However, the relief and joy Gokudera feels just grabbing the lighter make him feel like he’s walking on Cloud Nine.

He pulls it out, strikes the mechanism, and takes a long huff of that little stick of poison. The lighter is pink and covered with worn (or the term Gokudera prefers, “well loved”) stickers of kitties and hearts and cream puffs. You gave it to him on your one-year anniversary, before you realized how much of a problem his smoking habit was and how dangerous the consequences of smoking were. By your second shared anniversary, you totally denounced smoking and your previous gift, instead urging him to wean himself off and maybe start using nicotine patches, or get on prescriptions to help him off smoking.

Gokudera smiles at your concern, and with your help he’s been able to significantly reduce how much he smokes. But old habits die hard and he needs some instant relief right now. Taking another puff and feeling the nicotine swim in his lungs, filling him with a familiar sense of ease, he can’t help but feel little wiggling worm of guilt for smoking not just one, but two cigarettes in a single day. It’s been stressful, he tries to placate himself. Gokudera wonders how you’ll take the strong smell of ash on his mouth when you kiss him to welcome him home.

You kissing him is one of his favorite activities to do with you– among many others– and he wonders if you’ll abstain from that lovely affection again like you did when he last smoked this much in a day…

He doesn’t want to miss out on a single moment of your love.

Of a single moment of you.

Gokudera shakes off the build of ash that collects on the red tip of the cigarette. A little bead of recognition is rolling up into his brain, slowly, so very slowly… He takes another long puff and goes cross eyed watching that little scarlet circle rush towards the filter…

You.

“SHIT!” Gokudera vaults off the park bench, startling several passersbys and some mothers cover their children’s ears. Caring nothing for the delicate sensibilities of the general public, Gokudera scoops up all his purchases and runs back into the fray of holiday shopping in a panic.

A million gift ideas have come and gone through his head through the entire month of December, and for that whole month he’s pondered and entertained the idea of gifts, then rejected it with thoughts of “No, that’s too cheesy” or “Can’t get them that, that’s way overdone,” only to eventually forget that he failed to get you anything at all.

Gokudera feels overly warm in his winter coat– suddenly, he remembers you were the one to buy it for him and why was it that you seemed to buy him all his favorite things?– and all around him it seems shops are closing their doors and turning over their cursive “We’re Open!” signs.

He runs up to a glassware store with tea sets in the display window– you like tea cups and those cute little spoons, right?– just as a teenaged employee turns off the display lights. He meets eyes with the teen and there must be a wild desperation in his eyes because she reaches for the lock on the door to let him in, but a yell from behind the young worker causes her to jump and turn away from Gokudera.

His heart is pumping loud enough he can hear it in his ears and feel the pulse high in his throat as he silently begs that something just fell over in the store. No managers here, no siree.

To his greatest dismay, the girl turns back to him, with the deepest pity in her eyes, and her hand falls away from the lock. Green eyes are reflected back to Gokudera in the glass door and he sees just how pale and panicked he looks. Through that, the girl in the closed store frowns and shakes her head slowly– no, and I’m sorry.

Breath shakily falls out of Gokudera’s lungs and a hot burn touches his lip and he spits the cigarette he forgot he was smoking to the ground. With a groan, he touches his lip to find it tender, most likely slightly burnt. But he has no time for that. He stomps out the cigarette, in case it didn’t fizzle out in the snow, and turns heel to run around the shopping plaza against, in the desperate hope that some store, any store, is open for him to get you a gift that isn’t absolutely terrible.

He sees a lingerie store across the plaza with its lights still on. Should he… Does he dare?... No time to find out, Gokudera thinks, as he shuffles as fast as he can to the store, the bags around him making the loudest and most embarrassing sound he’s ever heard in his life.

It’s the sound of the dumbest boyfriend in the whole fucking world.

He’s fifty feet away when he considers what sort of boyfriend he is to buy you lingerie for a holiday. On one hand, it’s a sweet, sexy gift that you can wear whenever you want, and he knows you enjoy that. On the other, isn’t it selfish of him to buy you lingerie? After all, you’ll probably be wearing it for him, and in most cases, for hardly ten minutes at a time. Wouldn’t this be more of a gift for him?

He’s thirty five feet away when he considers that, hey, maybe if you don’t like it, he wouldn’t be the worst boyfriend in the world. You would have something as a gift and he could always get you an apology bouquet of roses (“Sorry, I Fucked Up” written in sad, loopy cursive) and a box of bourbon chocolates. Maybe a stuffed animal to boot. Maybe it’s a nice, sexy way of saying how much he loves you, and how much he loves you in the more… physical sense, too.

No, Hayato shakes his head, that’s so stupid.

He’s twenty feet away when he wonders if they have anything in his size. You get dressed up to impress him all the time– why shouldn’t he as well? When you wear anything with lace and silk he feels all hot under the collar… Why can’t he do the same for you? He’s not entirely sure how you would react to him in a lacy bralet and some thigh highs, but if past experience has told him anything, it is more than likely you would pounce on him before he could say anything witty as a hello.

Not even “Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me?” Gokudera thinks to himself in a delirious, out of body way. Nope. Not even that.

“Is it hot in here or is it just you?”

No go, buddy,

“Hello, gorgeous?”

Sure, why not say it with a rose between your teeth, too?

He’s ten feet away when he thinks that, yes, purchasing lingerie for himself would be a nice present for you– maybe he could get a nice red velvet number with a white fur trim to match yours. The emotional bonding of two people, simply lounging around and being in love in lingerie must be rather significant. That skin-to-skin contact, the intimate traces of silk, lace, latex, or even leather?.. That must truly send a shock up the spine, right? It does for him, when you sit on his lap in teasing, almost see-through netting, in that fiery red color of his flame. And with the both of you in lingerie, what sort of gaudy opulence is that!

He’s five feet away when, all on board with his plan, in his mind the most significant barrier to his plan is the size restrictions all stores have. He’s not sure if men’s lingerie even exists, but that’s no matter to him. Gokudera is fully worried on whether or not he can fit the women’s sizes that this store provides. The holiday season must have wiped most of the sophisticated styles from the racks. He can deal with looking a little racy, but will he be able to fit the sizes? Gokudera doesn’t think he has enough time to get his bra sized, or if they even have his band size in stock. If they don’t have any bras that fit him, he supposes he’ll have to settle for a teddy or some sort of sexy contraption that fits around his chest loosely. For the bottoms… Well, he’s seen the underwear you have for special occasions and what’s on display in this shop, and frankly? The goal of the underwear doesn’t seem to be to conceal, so Gokudera thinks he will be fine in whatever he chooses. And he knows you have some lovely garters and stockings he can fit; from previous experiences, both of some sexy, but also of some simply curious endeavors.

He knows he has some high heels that he can wear as well– these are from a mission he had to cooperate with the Varia– Lussuria, in particular– that ended in satisfaction but the details of the mission are things he would rather not remember or talk about. In the end, though, he learned that Lussuria is not as unbearable as he originally thought, that Lussuria might actually be a pretty good friend, and that Gokudera looks damn good as a woman.

Gokudera is standing right in front of the store, face almost pressed to the glass, when he realizes that it is closed and the lights are simply a festive, though confusing, decoration choice. Shit.

The walk back to that sad little park bench is slow and each step fills him with a pitting sense of dread that makes his feet feel they’re chained. Yellow light flickers above him and casts Gokudera’s shadow long and mourning, as the lamp post seems to feed off of his dilemma. Gokudera’s palms press into his too warm eyes and he is completely at a loss for what to do next.

A sudden buzz in his pants pocket scares him out of his misery before he realizes it’s a phone call. After he realizes it’s a phone call, he’s even more scared. He’s sliding the cell out of his pocket when a million thoughts rush through his mind. What if it’s you? Would he lie? No, sweetheart, I have everything under control, don’t worry about a thing. I’m just the absolute worst boyfriend in the world– nothing you didn’t already know. Love you, be home soon.

It’s Tsuna. Gokudera moans in relief and answers.

“Hey, Gokudera, how’s the Hullabaloo coming along?”

“BOSS!” Gokudera shouts into the receiver. A small noise of pain meets him from the other side.

“Y-Yeah?”

“I’m…” hesitation pulls at the right hand man’s voice, “in a bit of a situation.”

Tsuna finally gets the full story out of Gokudera nearly ten minutes later, with many pauses for apologizes and his best friend agonizing about how he forgot the love of his life’s present. Silence falls over the phone when Gokudera takes a deep breath after his explanation.

“Well,” Tsuna’s voice is light and tinny over the call, “you do actually have a present.”

“What?” Gokudera’s brow furrows and his fingers twitch in the craving for another cigarette.

His boss laughs, not condescending, but in a way that gives Gokudera the sense that he’s missing something. And that is a feeling that Gokudera hates very much. Gokudera pulls out the cigarette carton: damn the consequences, he’ll have as many as he wants tonight.

“Hayato,” Tsuna says, “you have a ring.”

At that, all the blood drains from Gokudera’s face leaving him as pale as the snow that surrounds him. Now he really needs a cigarette.

Gokudera swallows and clears his throat after a pause that was longer than it needed to be. “S-So?” he says, and shakily lights what’s clenched too tight between his teeth. It lights but Gokudera doesn’t seem to feel any warmth from it.

“So? So, Hayato, you’ve been sitting on this for months. No, it’s closer to a year now, isn’t it?”

“Well, I– it’s more complicated than that– y-you see–”

“Hayato, you’ve been giving me excuses for months.” A tired sigh comes over the receiver and a quiet moment passes where Gokudera’s eyes lift. Now all the stores are closed and empty. A light, thin snowfall hides footprints just barely and lights in apartment buildings start to disappear. It’s late. He hopes that you’re sleeping, but he hopes even more that you waited for him so he wouldn’t miss holding you close in bed on such a special evening.

“I think it’s time.” Tsuna isn’t pressuring. Tsuna is concerned.

Gokudera takes a big suck from the cigarette and watches the heat from his breath and the nicotine tinged smoke rise white against the dark, velvet lined sky. His voice comes out weak. “I’m not ready.”

“Are you? Are you really?”

Gokudera closes his eyes and buries his head in his hands, fingers pulling at his soft silver hair, the hair you love to run your hands through and wash and brush for him.

“I don’t think I can do it.”

Tsuna snorts, “Of course you can!”

“I’m afraid.”

At that, Tsuna quiets. No one speaks. The man he trusts so implicitly and so completely, the man he found most capable in the world, the man who was his first friend– how could he doubt himself so? How can Tsuna help his best friend when he can’t help himself?

But he can.

They aren’t fourteen anymore. They’re grown. Tsuna has matured into a fine mafia boss, fitting for the Vongola. Fitting for his family. Tsuna is a man now.

“Hayato,” he begins, “it’s okay to be afraid. This is a big commitment. You’ve been thinking about this for years, saving up to buy a ring. Turning it over in your hands at night, right? When you think they’re sleeping and you’re just torn apart by it?” Gokudera laughs softly in reply. His boss– his best friend knows him so well.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Tsuna continues, tone growing rough over the phone. “But don’t you ever fucking say that you’re not ready.”

Gokudera almost swallows his cigarette in shock, choking on the smoke. He can count the times Tsuna has said “fuck” on his fingers. Maybe he would have to use his toes too, but Tsuna hasn’t really sworn much since they were handed their high school diplomas and threw fringed caps in the air.

“Do you think you would have bought a ring if you weren’t ready? That you would have come to ask my blessing, which you’ve always had, if you weren’t ready? Hayato, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t see love in you. It’s in the way you talk, I can see it in the way you hold yourself. Your eyes, Hayato, I see that love there. It’s not just my intuition, it’s a fact. Don’t you ever doubt yourself about that.”

Gokudera, floored, immediately apologizes, assuming his position as right hand man and subordinate. “I-I’m so sorry, Boss, I didn’t mean–”

“For the love of god, Hayato, shut up!” Tsuna yells, “Don’t disrespect me like this! Don’t disrespect the family like this! Don’t you know how much we believe in you? In your future? How any of us would do anything to help you get a shot at happiness?

“So don’t you dare disrespect us like this. You’re ready, Hayato. Don’t you dare disrespect yourself like this, and don’t you fucking dare disrespect your partner like this.”

The line goes quiet except for Tsuna’s panting and Gokudera doesn’t know what to say.

He’s seen this love for family in Tsuna before, experienced it back in middle school when he almost blew himself to bits to win against the Varia, but it never fails to wipe him out with the depth and sincerity of Tsuna’s love. It’s a love that, to a stranger, could be easily mistaken for rage. But Gokudera is no stranger and he can’t stop the hot tears from spilling over his green eyes, palm pressed firm against his teeth so he Tsuna can’t hear him cry.

“T-Tsuna…” Gokudera manages to croak out, with not much else to say.

“Hayato,” his childhood best friend says in a much quieter voice, “Please stop holding yourself back. You deserve happiness. You’ve protected this family for so long, and we will always protect you… But you deserve to give yourself the chance to start your own family, grow your own happiness. It’s a risk, but please take that chance.”

Tsuna can hear Gokudera sniff on the other side of the line. He smiles.

“Yeah… O-Of course, Tsuna,” Gokudera swallows. “I think I’m ready.”

You’re worried. The clock reads well past midnight and Hayato isn’t home yet.

He left the house in the early afternoon, when the cool winter light hit him so softly and beautifully that you couldn’t help but kiss him goodbye so many times that he had to drag you on the couch and kiss you just as much in return. He promised to try to be home early so that you could bundle up together in front of the fire and plug in the tree lights, pull out hidden presents and put them under the tree. Hayato laughed and said that he wanted to watch holiday movies on the television with you, and yes, even the really awful ones because it was something he said he might actually enjoy if he experienced it with you. He laughs in this soft way around you, a laugh he doesn’t have with anyone else. It’s tender and he has this strange little smile that’s even softer when he looks at you. It could be love. It scared you at first, but you’re certain now, and it’s not so scary when it’s so gentle. You hope it’s love. You love him back.

You’re very worried.

For an hour or three, you passed out in front of the TV in the living room wearing his pajamas that are way too long for you. The spirit of the season made you sentimental, what can you say? But those few hours disoriented you and the sun had long since set. Through the glass windows above the kitchen sink, you can see the snow had started falling again. It had picked up.

Hot chocolate sits on the kitchen counter in lovely holiday mugs that you received as a present one year but the drink has been cool for the better part of an hour now. You don’t feel thirsty with the way things are now.

The small window pane in the front door shakes shrilly in its frame when the wind picks up and you jump. It’s even colder out now. You’re just barely tethering yourself from running headfirst into a panic attack but Hayato hasn’t picked up his phone calls and the last few went straight to voicemail. The house feels bigger without him, lonelier, but so much more claustrophobic as well. It’s the juxtaposition of the fearful, you know, but you can’t quiet those worries of him being stuck somewhere without help, freezing to death in the cold– you should have made him wear those gloves and wrapped that extra cashmere scarf around him as you kissed him goodbye for the second try. What if something bad happened to him? What if the worst happened to him?

You’re nearly burning a hole in the carpet with your pacing, and just as you’re about to call up Tsuna and wake him at an ungodly hour, technically the day of the Vongola Holiday Hullabaloo (you pushed very hard for that name), the front door rattles with the struggle of keys not turning the locks, you all but break down the door.

Gokudera, despite his quiet attempts to enter the house without waking you, curses and can’t seem to get his keys to cooperate and open the damn door. He’s freezing out here, he grumbles to no one in particular. He does say something rather nasty and biting about Jack Frost, though. Maybe the door is so hard to open because his hands are all but pieces of a cadaver with how frozen they are from the elements and refusing his damn gloves you tried to get him to wear earlier, and the combination of the heaviness and multitude of his many shopping bags.

Gokudera gets the shit scared out of him when the door knob flies out of his hand and he’s face to face with the love of his life, who is absolutely pissed the fuck off.

“Hayato!” You hiss, and drag him inside.

He’s startled by your abruptness but you’re wrapped in your favorite blanket from your shared bed and he notices, giddily, you’re wearing his pajamas and they’re just so big on you and you’re just so goddamned cute and–

“I swear! I almost called the cops, Hayato! But I couldn’t, because my man is the bane of their existence, so you know what I was doing? Just worrying my damn head off! If my hair turns gray and all falls out, I’m holding you personally accountable! What were you doing out so late? It’s freezing!” You rant and chastise and shake your head, but you help him put his bags down and take off his coat, putting it over the couch. You take his hands in yours and gasp.

“Jesus, Hayato!” You bring his hands to your mouth and blow hot air on them, rubbing and trying to warm them, “You feel like ice!”

“Tell me about it,” he groans, and leans his full body weight on to you, tipping the both of you over. Luckily, he made sure the couch would be there to catch you.

“Hayato, I’m serious! I was so worried!..” Your voice takes on a wounded edge as you trail away, burying your face into his chest, speckled with stubborn, melting snowflakes. The man above you looks down to see your hair wild from running your hands through it and that makes him uncomfortably guilty. Another feeling he hates, especially when it concerns you.

“Hey, I’m, uh,” he sits up and brings your face up to his. “I’m sorry.”

You don’t say anything but turn your face into his palm and sigh. He smells like ash.

“I lost track of time and Tsuna called me about–” he stops talking. When you look up at him he has a lost, helpless look on him. His hand on your face twitches against your cheek but it doesn’t leave. Hayato clears his throat.

“He, uh, called me about the party tomorrow. Then my phone died, sorry.”

“Hullabaloo,” you remind him, ghost of a smile creeping up your face.

He groans and the atmosphere is suddenly light, and the rest of the room returns in technicolor, high definition, 1080p. The crackle and lovely warm smell of the fireplace greets him and the television plays some god awful Hallmark movie softly. Gokudera finally feels the burn of the cold he’s been out in all night and he bunkers down further on the couch with his arms wrapped around you, pulling you half in his lap and you squeak a bit but don’t protest.

“Whatever,” he grumbles and buries his face in your neck. He missed you.

You squirm in his lap– his nose is cold!– and say, voice full of mischief, “It’s called a Hullabaloo,” and when greeted with another complaint from Gokudera you say more insistently, “What is it called, Hayato, love of my life?”

His hair tickles your neck as he shakes his head and says, in the resigned way only a man that’s hopelessly in love and fighting a losing battle can say–

“Ugh. Fine. It’s a damned Hullabaloo…”

He feels you roll over in his grasp so you straddle his hips and your face is looking up at him, gentle and kind.

“Thank you.”

“You’re not welcome.”

Within a commercial break, Hayato is settled in and donning a new set of sleepwear, snug and warm on the couch, and you have hot chocolate and sugar cookies in spades. He’s got an arm around you and you are all but tangled in him. You can hear his heartbeat in his chest, faster than normal, and it’s concerning but the debacle you were faced for the past few hours has exhausted you and the low, dancing lights from the Christmas tree lull you to a happy sleep. The both of you know you won’t be awake in a few moments.

“Hayato?”

“Yeah, babe?”

He feels your breath warm against his exposed collar and it’s almost as nerve wracking as it is a comfort. He’s all too aware of that little box in his coat, just behind the two of you to his right, slung over the couch. It’s the heaviest little box in the world, he’s sure.

“I was really worried. I thought something happened to you…”

“I know,” Hayato whispers and places a kiss on your temple, petting your hair. “And I’m so sorry. Really.”

“I know,” you reply back in a quiet voice.

You add on, as sleep has made you embarrassingly and so emotionally raw, “All I really want is you, Hayato… ”

The couple on the television kiss and orchestral Christmas music swells: the credits roll to the sound of a remixed, pop version of holiday classics. It’s really a pain to witness. Hayato can tell you’re trying your hardest not to drift away when you ask a question that freezes him up.

“Are you really okay?” you ask, pressing your ear to his chest, mumbling, “Your heart’s beating so fast…”

Gokudera coughs a little, then belatedly hopes that you can’t smell the ash on his breath. He knows you noticed he’s smoked, and smoked a lot, but you haven’t said anything about it. He’s grateful you’ve given him that small mercy.

“Yeah, just, uh,” he sighs, running his hands through your hair, “We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Another Hallmark movie begins and the snow outside drifts to the ground, calm and steady. You’ll wake up to a beautiful, snowy Christmas morning, then go to the Vongola-Varia Holiday Hullabaloo (damn you for making him think it…), and be surrounded by friends and family. A truly memorable night indeed.

Your body leans heavily on Hayato and when he’s sure that he’s sure you’re asleep, he carefully reaches behind him, fumbles with his coat, and nearly drops the ring box on your head when he takes it out.

You’re damn right I’m not okay, I’m scared as fuck, he thinks, opening the box and running the flat of his thumb over the smooth parts of the silver ring. He didn’t want to get you anything too gaudy, but it’s still rather dramatic and pretty (just like me, he thinks in a detached humor). He knows you’ll like it. He hopes you’ll love it.

Pressing another kiss to your head, Gokudera takes a deep, steadying breath. Of course you’ll love it, he reminds himself– if Tsuna can see it, it has to be true. He knows, deep down, that you’ve been waiting for this for a long time. You’ve been ready for a long time. He’s finally ready, too. He thinks of a plan, as responsible as he is, but he knows it’ll all go to shit the moment he opens his mouth.

In the morning, you’ll wake up to soft winter light, and Hayato on one knee in front of you in pajamas; you’ll laugh at first, disoriented and sure you’re in a dream. Then he’ll make a little speech, fingers itching for a cigarette and instead occupying one hand on your thigh and one in his pocket, running over the edges of that little box over and over.

You’ll start to get teary, some stupid holiday movie that you love to hate will play in the background, and the lights from the tree will make Hayato look so beautiful, so devastatingly handsome with his heart bared wide open for you like that.

Eventually, you’ll shout yes, and Hayato will cry before you do, and he’s not afraid to admit it. Though Yamamoto will tease him about it, Ryohei will cry too and tell him he’s the most manly guy on the face of the earth. The whole Hullabaloo will be full of congratulations and love, friends and family– and presents.

And Lambo, that son of a bitch, will say, after all that fuss over the ring and marriage, “Wait, the ring is great, but where's the present you got them?"

And Gokudera will knock his lights out– or try his best to.

And you’ll forgive him and kiss him under the mistletoe to calm him down because really, all you want is him.

And the best present he ever could have gotten is you.

Gokudera takes another deep breath, and squeezes the box one more time in his hands before he hides it away safely in his pocket. He kisses your hair one more time before resting his chin on your crown and closing his eyes. Gokudera Hayato falls asleep with a slow burning determination to be the most loving and supportive husband he could possibly be for you. He smiles as he drifts away, dreaming of weddings and honeymoons.

[kpop-stole-my-sanity]

Insomnia // Hwang Hyunjin [bulleted scenario!]

Summary: In which you and Hyunjin are both too oblivious to realize your true feelings... until it’s too late? 

Genre: angsty, floooof, gender neutral 

Word Count: 2175

Warnings: Just some cursing 

A/N: This is my first time writing a bulleted scenario and i quite enjoyed it :) idk it’s fun to not care about settings too much and punctuation and stuff. I also liked adding my own little dumb remarks here are there :PP it was fuN! This was another scenario that kinda arose while i was napping i hope you guys enjoy it! <3 i love stray kids 

i’m also gonna try to make all my scenarios gender neutral from now on (unless specifically requested) b/c we are all about inclusivity here !! :)

This was originally gonna be like a real fic

But the writers block was REAL like i really tried to set the scene and everything

But it didn’t turn out right

And i really wanted to get this one out so HERE WE ARE TRYING THE BULLETED SCENARIO OKAY YAY LETS BEGIN!

Trainee au!! Kinda :D

Like skz didnt go through the survival show yet

Ok so SEtting thE SCeNe~~~~

You just walked into the jyp building bc jyp hired you as a new producer

Like to study under him and potentially help w producing in the future

Like jyp 2.0 ya know

Jyp meets w you himself bc you’re like a prodigy

And a foreigner so he thought you’d be more comfortable w him speaking toyou in english :D

So he explained what you gotta do during your training period

Like studying more about composition and production

Learning korean to more easily communicate w idols and what not

And also honing your own style and figuring out who you are as an artist

So he pairs you up w the trainees bc it be good practice

More specifically skz bc they seem to have a more flexible style

Also like he thought it would be good for you to work w chan and the rest of 3racha

Like bc yall around the same age

And it helps you become more comfy

And familiar w the company and the producing rooms and recording studios and what no

Like

Yer

And then like

Through working w them to produce a song for the trainee showcase

Yall get mad close

And like

You have your eyes on hyunjin from the start

Like bc who couldn’t

Like

Gorgeous boy

At first you were just like “this is admiration”

“He very handsome i just admire his features”

Yeah

And maybe it was..

At first

Now it's a full blown crush

Like

For real

That boy is so hard working

Like you constantly see him asking for help

So he can improve

And like

People always said he was a visual only

Which made you feel bad that you saw that at first 

But you realized later

That like

You actually like him bc of his personality

What a hard worker 

For real

Angel

Anyways

Little did you know that your crush was NOT one sided

Hyunjin admired your hard work in producing

And how you always took criticism well and only worked to improve your work

Also

He thought you were hella cute

So yall were both kinda obvious

Him more than you

Like by a loT

So skz knew for a fact that hyunjin was head over heels in love w you so they pushed him to confess to you

Yeah he was like no

But after PEEr pRessUre

He finally agreed

They was gonna plan something like a party for you

To celebrate the time you’ve been w the company

But the showcase came before the celebration and suddenly they were on a survival show to see who would debut

So the party was postponed OOOODDDDD

But you didnt even know it was gonna happen so you didnt mind anyways

Soon enough it got closer to your birthday, and skz just decided to make it a birthday celebration instead

Hyunjin was more iffy about confessing bc what if you dont feel the same and he ruins your bday oh no

But at this point, skz was sure you liked him back so they were like dont worry about that they aren’t like that your relationship will be fine

So the party happens ladida

You were super surprised and sosososososo happy

Bc like

Your hart

These boys were precious and totally made your day

Tbh bc of your work

You almost forgot it was your birthday

After the crazy loud party, you wanted to like take some quiet time for yourself so you excused yourself

And then walked to the hallway and sat by the window and looked out at the city and the night sky

Beautiful

And suddenly you heard footsteps

It was this boy named jason who you were friends with

He was from the same town you were from so you got close p quickly when you first got to jyp

And jason had a not-so-secret crush on you

That ofc you were oblivious to

But he came over there to spend time w you and wish you happy bday

Little did you know

Hyunijn was mentally preparing himself to confess to you down the hall and around the corner w a pretty bouquet of flowers what a sweet boy

And when he finally works up the courage, he turns the corner and sees jason giving you a bday hug 

And he cant help but feel his hart drop

Yall look good together and like you were from the same town so similarities

So he was heartbroken needless to say

 He quickly turned around and walked away

But you heard the footsteps and saw just a glance of his outfit retreating

You excused yourself from jason’s company and ran after him bc you are so in love w this boy

You were gonna hug him and thank him, but when you approached he took a step back

Like ow

That hurt

He quickly stammered that he had to go home bc he was tired and left

He was hiding the flowers behind his back :’(

And then tossed them as soon as he left the building

He went for a long ass walk to clear his mind and soothe his aching heart

You were so worried

Was he okay?

You went home soon after bc you couldnt help but worry and that made you super tired

But you couldn't sleep

InsOMniA

Goddamn it hyunjin

You messaged him

“you’re prob sleeping but i hope you feel better”

Dry ass reply: “thx”

Like wow

Rude

But you let it go

jic he was actually really exhausted

You knew he took criticism from the show too so maybe it was that

Hopefully he’d talk to you about it bc he usually did

But he didn't

He avoided you

Your heart really couldnt take it

Meanwhile you and jason got closer bc you didnt have hyunjin to hang out w anymore

Despite your many efforts

And this just further fuels his belief that yall are together

So to ignore the tinge in his heart every time he saw you, he buried himself in practice

Didn't sleep

Didnt drink enough water

Didnt eat enough

He was getting dangerously skinny and unhealthy

And it affected his attitude

Not only to you but to his members

One day you were asked to come in and monitor a recording session

And he was happy and giggly in front of the camera

But as soon as it turned off u could see the fatigue

And you told him that he should take better care of himself

And he SNAPPEd at you

 You actually flinched bc he was so aggressive

Your heart SHATTEREd

And you, also sleep deprived as FUCk

Slapped him

Not super hard, but like a “what the fuck is wrong with you”

And you walked right out, not even bothering to hide your tears

And he was sad but he thought that you hating him would help him get over you

What a dumb boy

You completely avoided him after that

You also still had restless nights 

God that convo kept playing over and over in your head

YOU COULDNT SLEEP

But one day you got a call from chan

He needed your help

Hyunjin was seriously overworking himself and he was afraid hyunjin was gonna collapse

Luckily you were still at the company working on smth bc ofc you couldn't sleep anyways so might as well make use of your time

So you finally agree bc even if you’re still angry at him, you are srsly worried about this boy

And when you get to the dance room your heart breaks all over again

Hes so pale

And sickly looking

And hes shaking but hes still dancing

You knock and hear a gruff “its open”

The music pauses for a moment but when he sees its you he scoffs and turns it back on

“what do you want”

“Uhm.. are you okay?”

“Why? You wanna slap me again to make me feel better?”

Ofc you rolled your eyes bc wtf hyunjin you were being nice

“I dont even know why i bothered”

You go over to the stereo and turn it off yourself

And he turns to you angry

ARGUMENT TIME

Him: “WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?”

“MY PROBLEM?!!!?!?? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO PUSHED ME AWAY FOR NO DAMN REASON!! AND EVEN AFTER ALL THAT, I STILL TRIED TO BE NICE AND ASK IF YOU WERE OKAY. I WAITED FOR YOU TO OPEN UP TO ME. TO TALK TO ME ABOUT WHATEVER WAS BOTHERING YOU!”

At this point, you’re practically sobbing like udk if he can understand you but who cares

All this frustration that was pent up inside felt good being released

Bc at this point, you had nothing more to lose

Hyunjin already hated you so like why not just speak your mind amirite

 Anyways continuing w the dialogue:

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY PROBLEM WHEN MY PROBLEM IS YOU!”

Cue awkward pause/break thing (AWKwARD SiLEncE)

“What are you talking about hyunjin?”

He sighed defeatedly

It was now or never. He felt like his relationship w you was ruined already anyways

So he, like you, also had a ‘what do i have to lose’ mentality

“I was going to confess to you y/n. That night at your birthday party. But i was too late. I saw you with jason and you looked so happy and perfect together.  So i left. I cut my ties with you because i didn’t want my own feelings to get in the way of your happiness.”

You were completely utterly speechless

Like there were an overwhelming number of feelings enveloping you atm

Bc on the one hand:

The love of your life just confessed to you

But on the other

Like

What a dumbass

You end up laughing and scoffing at his words bc

Hes so dumb

You dont like jason

God you’ve been in love w hyunjin for so goddamn long

And now you’re debating over how to respond

But like your anger and frustration kinda takes precedence bc youre also sleep deprived and you go

“ so, you broke your own heart and then you broke mine because you didn’t want to talk to me about it you dumbass ????”

And he gives you that classic confused puppy-dog look

W the head tilt and everything

And you go

“Hwang hyunjin, i’m fucking in love with you”

And he just stares blankly at you and blinks like 8 times trying to comprehend what just came out of your mouth

And his lips form an ‘o’ shape

And then hes coming closer and wrapping his arms around you

And you dont even mind that hes still sweaty and kinda smelly

Bc hes finally in your arms

But holding him so close also makes you super aware of just how skinny he’s gotten

Like it was worse than you thought

So you pull back and you open your mouth to chastise him

But before you can even start he’s cupping your cheeks can pulling your face to his

Your lips collide and then they're molding into one another

And your mind kinda blanks out

But your automatic reaction seems to be letting your fingers run through his hair and pulling him closer towards you

And when yall finally come up for breath

He tries to go in for another one like immediately after

Like slow your roll boy you guys can kiss all you want later

If you said that out loud, he wouldve responded w something like “we gotta make up for lost time”

But you put your hands on his chest and hold him back

And he pouts

(you almost squeal at how cute he looks)

“Ok, now that we’re dating, i am literally commanding you to take better care of yourself because this,” you eye him up and down, “is unacceptable”

And he quirks an eyebrow up and is like

Oh? I don’t recall asking you out? On a date?”

And you get all blushing and become a blubbering mess and hide your face in his chest like

“Shut up hyunjin”

But he’s just giggling at your embarrassed face :D

Then, him being the dramatic hoe that he is, he gets down on one knee in front of you and says

“y/n, y/l/n, will you go out on a date with me?”

And ofc u say yes

And after that whole dramatic scene, you pull him out of the practice room, fingers intertwined, ready to stuff him with food

And he goes

“I dont think i said it back.”

“Said what back?”

“That i love you”

UWU

And the rest is history