#simply put im in a phase rn

[panicataphmausinsanity]

mcd season 2 spoilers

i started mcd recently. despite being in the aph fandom for a loong ass time, i never really checked it out until now because my aphmau phase resurfaced. im at s2 at ep 7 rn and im watching cadenza talk to laurance and it's kinda pissing me off... this is just a lil rant i wanted to get off of my chest.

for context, in the episode, around 15:28, cadenza asks laurance about his relationship with aphmau. she asks him if they're a thing and he's js surprised and asks her why she would ask that. then cad just goes off about how aph didn't give laurance a chance and risked her life for garroth yada yada...

im just annoyed at how it's so weird that cadenza thinks that aphmau is obligated to feel anything for laurance? hope i didnt take things the wrong way here but you can make someone who isn't your beloved to be smile in their darkest of times too. insinuating that aph cares for garroth more just because she didnt try to save laurance when he was in the nether is just so weird? like she did try. no one let her. garroth just knew that it was too dangerous and it was smart of her not to jump into the nether [not like she had the means to do so anyway].

at this point in the story.. laurance and aphmau BOTH have grown so much alongside garroth. i feel like it's only natural for them to stick together and try to open up that portal. like it was dumb as hell but considering all the things they've been through *together* i feel like they would've done some dumb shit like this to open up the portal. i find it dumber that cadenza said all of this to laurance, making it about who aphmau loves more. i dont understand why romantic feelings are even brought into this equation in the first place because this is more than just a "love story". garroth's out there fighting his brother and trying to get zane sealed in irene's dimension... garroth means the world to the both of them. plus garroth didn't only protect aphmau... but the others as well. including laurance, right? i don;t understand how it even matters whether aph loves laurance or garroth more.

plus, aph's clearly rejected laurance's advances multiple times and laurance accepts that and even takes it lightheartedly. cadenza's acting like aph's obligated to reciprocate in some way or the other when she didn't ask for any of this. she simply accepts it. she isn't forcing him to love her, rather, he's the one choosing to stay by her side, fully accepting of the fact that she's not really keen on returning his feelings. the way cadenza put it portrays aphmau like a backstabber that didn't care for laurance as much as she does for garroth when that isn't the case at all... each person in the trio cares for each other more than some external factor like cadenza can perceive... they've been through some tough shit thick and through and it's brought them so close... i legit have no clue as to why it became about how aph didn't give laurance a chance and how she didnt try to save him from the nether when she clearly tried hard but didn't even have the means to get to him???

in any case, her feelings are clear to laurance. they joke around but that's it so far... aph isn't obligated to return her feelings to laurance at all. and even if she wants to isn't it something she has to get to in her own time?

idk watching cad say all that kinda pissed me off.

[embersofhope-if]

IM SOOO HYPEEEEE OMG!! I cant waiiit: okey, now my fanboying phase has ended, lets talk about the characters:

Me, an intelectual, reading about Ash: YES, YESS, YESSS… NO, NOO, NOOOOOOOOOO

Why? WHY? You have like cero reasons to put Ash in the character section to make us hope, and then, kill that hipe without hesitation, like, chill bro. CHILL We haven't even started the story, you don't have to make us cry yet

Me, someone without capacity of preservation reading about Creon: red flag? YAASS QUEEN slay, red has always been a color that has suited me 👁️🫦👁️ so i guess i have someone to simp in this story thanks! (you kill take away my healthy relationships? Okey, then the worst one must choose, i even dont know Ash, and yet i miss him :( my gay ass cant with so much angst) oh taht reminds me, I guess Mc can die, so, there will be Pov of our dearest when they see our death? Like, our family/Weaver/Creon? (And idk if we have someone else who worries about Mc HAHAHAA)

Weaver: Im SO curious about this character… i really don’t know what to say about them, but their concept can be soooo good and I really want to k ow more about them

Soren (daddy? Sorry, daddy? Sorry daddy? Sorry: This will be a complex character, or at least i think he will be, someone so stoic and a puppet of the Capitolio hated by his own people and yet so emotional about his child… uff, that makes me think one thing, why people choose mc to go and no their father? I mean, we are so hated? And if we are hated, is because our father or because we did things that makes the town so hateful towards Mc?

I mean, I guess choosing mc is a way to causing pain to the whole family, but if they don’t really hate Mc, or if Mc didn’t really make something to deserve all the hate, they could simply choose Soren to go, no?

Well, sorry for all the mumbling, im so hyped for this to come and well, I guess I got too excited, Do you have a schedule you want to follow or something like that? Thanks for your attention!! <3

yall are going to be so mad at me but i had originally planned for Ash to actually be alive and be Mcs lover back home, but then i decided that i wanted to make it sad and killed them. Oopsies🤭

The lack of faith you guys have in Mcs ability to win makes me laugh so much. They're not completely helpless guys they do have some skills. There will be other Povs throughout the story. Will they specifically be Mcs death? who knows (it's me I know)

And the people of District 8 couldn't vote Mcs Father into the games because hes over the age of 18. They're putting Mc in to hurt him and make sure he feels the pain and fear that they have all felt. Mc didn't do anything themselves to piss everyone off but they're the only one from the Vesper family who was young enough to actually participate in the games. If Mcs sister was still eligible they wouldve put her in too☝️

I don't have a schedule for this If rn I've been focused on writing chapter 2 for my other game. This one is more of a side project but I'm sure there will at least be a short demo out before the end of June. Or I could wait till July 4th and post it on reaping day😏

[rookiespropeller]

im in one of those phases rn where i profoundly miss ogcp's 2010-2012 era. like, i would've loved for the game to freeze there. keep new stories + new parties going ofc, but in that same style & vibe.

which is kinda what cpl is attempting to do, and i really do love the server, but theres only so much u can achieve w a team of around 10 volunteers (only 2 of them able to work full time, soon only 1) when updates need to be pumped out left n right

i watched an old ogcp video on youtube and saw that the lights at the dance club turned a different color as enough penguins changed to wear the same color. i had genuinely forgotten that was a thing, with how long it's been and how used i am to simply... not have that feature. but ofc the memories came back to me instantly and i longed to go back in time to live it again.

i really miss small details like these. not that many ppl care abt them, but to me it makes the world come a little bit more alive. i'm probably never gonna experience those lights changing by color again & it makes me sad

edit: rambling goes on below the cut bc i wanted my the rest of my thoughts to be on the post itself, not just in the tags

ofc its not just about the lights, but u get what i mean. with a large professional team who gets paid to keep things rolling, has enough employees + ressources to work on multiple things at once... theres a lot more u can do. and unfortunately, no cpps will ever be able to have that

like even going back to comparing w cpl. cpl cant have a weekly updating newspaper, or even any newspaper at all, bc theres not enough ppl to 1) write it 2) create/find fitting artwork to go on the pages 3) code it and put it into the game and 4) repeat all these steps on a regular basis. and the newspaper is only ONE thing among so many

there are lots features that are planned & already announced. they'll all get done eventually, but the thing is that if one feature is being worked on, there's no time to work on anything else. meanwhile, the community is expecting parties & events at the same rate the ogcp team was churning them out (and i don't blame them for it, new content and parties are a big part of what keeps the game active & exciting). problem is, whenever parties need to be worked on, development of new features is halted.

& then of course you can't forget to update the hidden pins, the Penguin Style, the Furniture + Igloo catalogs, the igloo music selection, the stage plays, the ice rink turning into the stadium (and vice versa) along with a new Snow & Sports, the blog posts, the community board, etc. etc. this is just what's coming at the top of my head. most of these are already not updating as often as ogcp updated them, yet are still incredibly difficult to keep up with

& THEN between all of that, there are bugs that need to be patched. but ofc no one wants to work on bugs when they're already completely exhausted from the rest of their workload + they're not getting paid for any of it

after all of this, it's near impossible to squeeze in stuff like garden animations at the mine shack, a working puck/soccer ball at the ice rink/stadium, stage scripts with clickable chat... or even color-changing lights at the dance club.

god this makes me so upset but its literally no ones fault. theres not much anyone can do abt it & it breaks my heart

i miss club penguin.

[fakeosirian]

tagged by: @gender444 HI!! ty <3

relationship status: stage 3 of Deeply Single but not mad/for good reasons (last relationship took a very long time to recover from emotionally/kinda difficult for me to see people in person rn/coping with multiple new mental health diagnoses/sexuality has fluctuated violently like 4 times in the past year tho i think its stable now??) so in a "if an opportunity arises i'd take it but i do not seek it out on purpose" place lol

fav color: i go through phases with fav colors and it's been a green past couple years (specifically forest and kelly green love those shits) but my Always Colors are teal, dark scarlet, dark brown, and that purple that's almost indigo but it's still Definitely Purple do you know what i mean.

song stuck in my head: luka luka night fever specifically only the first ~30 seconds

last song i listened to: pet body by miya folick

three favorite foods: CURRYYYY MY BELOVED <3 specifically the golden curry bricks...but at the end of the day idgaf all curry good put it in my body; ice cream i will spare you the list because it'd be easier to say which flavors i don't like vs the ones i do; hmmm i can't just say soup in general but it's so hard to pick Just One. i will say beef and barley. but just know that ramen and grillcheese+tomato are basically tied w it

last thing I googled: i wish there were no traffic accidents movie (that post i rb'd a bit ago reminded me of a movie i saw years ago thru mst3k with AWFUL dubbing of child actors where they kept wishing for there to be no war or traffic accidents Specifically and i'm obsessed with the idea that like. this is such an understandable yet specifically worded wish that keeps coming up. unfortunately google just kept telling me about the time matthew broderick killed somebody and i got bored and gave up)

dream trip: there's so many individual places i'd Want To Go that i get choice paralysis picking just one so tbh. i will just say that i really want to finally go on a road trip/camping with my college friends LOL we've been talking about it for years and never thrown down the gauntlet/been firm about a specific time or plan but hopefully this year or next...we were talking about all going to canada since one of us lives right near the border now/we want to visit him anyway so fingies crossed...

anything i want right now: to hit my breaking point on not doing one of 4 or 5 odd things i need to get done and just Do It. but OTHER THAN THAT a camera tripod T_T the stack of books method is simply not cutting it any longer. also human interaction

tagging anybody that wants to tbh but Summoning @4th-and-roebling @zombiepatch @windowsdestruction @voxxed @aurora-boreas-borealis there are more people i want to tag but im Norvous so if we're mutuals and u want to do it then go ahead and say i tagged u LOL

[lighthouseborna]

KNOWING  YOUR  PARTNER  WELL  CAN  POTENTIALLY  MAKE  WRITING  TOGETHER  A  LOT  EASIER.  (repost,  don’t  reblog)

Name: Hannah

Pronouns:  she/her

Preference  of  communication:  I'm not sure I have one, just.. as long as communication can take place? Really communication needs to be possible, more than attached to any one medium. Oh and patience is very important, I am not fast s;lkfjgs;dlfgj. IMs are fine, askbox is fine, replying to posts is fine! I have dis.cor.d and I'm generally happy to share it with mutuals, though the fallout of a couple of uncomfy situations have made me slightly more reluctant about handing it out

Name  of  muse(s):  ​Henry and @talesgolden are my only .. "active" blogs rn. If I was going to return to any of my older ones without remaking it would be @voleuxe

Experience/how  long  (months/years?):  uhhhhh I dunno man. longer than a decade. It seems unimportant to me idk

Platforms  you’ve  used: mmmm imvu, dA, facebook, twitter/tweetdeck, here, a couple of homebrew forums, wire, kik, a little bit of discord stuff but I don't like writing long form stuff there it feels weird

Best  experience: ...hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. They've all had positives and negatives in a lot of very exaggerated ways. It would be really hard for me to say any one 'phase' of my rping has been better or worse? Like the one I might pick, because it gave me a couple of really good friends I've had for a long time, is also the one where I had a handful of really big falling outs and some really nasty bullying take place, too, y'know? In general I think my 'bests' are all finding my way to people I really like knowing, and my worsts almost always come down to 'there was someone who intentionally misunderstood me and was unkind' but that has happened.... basically in every place I've rp'd. All of them have bests and worsts, I will be copping out in this fashion, yes.

RP  pet  peeves  /  dealbreakers: I think all of my rp pet peeves are also like, internet 'culture' pet peeves? and mostly culminates in like... genuinely and with every intended kindness, get out of your house more & learn conflict resolution. My dealbreakers -other than like, hateful behavior- mostly circle around communication and like... dismissive behavior. People who count themselves out and then get upset because they counted out and/or people who repeatedly put down or trivialize the things other people find meaning in. I'm not going to keep reassuring or comforting you, or compromising for you, when it's clear those things have no value to you and I'm not being met at the effort, because that's wildly unfair and I also simply refuse. The communication thing goes back to that I need it to be possible, and I need it to be a mutual effort. If I don't feel like it's possible I'll just move on, and if I feel like it's been repeatedly obstructed or dismissed entirely, I'll block and then move on. Both of them really it's like... You have to try, too.

Fluff,  angst,  or  smut: I actually end up with a lot of... philosophy? and slice of life. Conversations, really, that explore a character's thinking. I think that's more of where my focus tends to sit than any particular genre? I'm more into looking how and why and the consequences of things that happen between characters than them happening just because, if that makes sense? Fluff, angst, whatever, I like figuring out how it got there and what they're going to do about it. Sidenote I always find it interesting "action" isn't a presented option with memes like this, I've know of groups etc. based entirely around action and fighting it's weird how that seems to have mostly died out? (At least on tumblr anyway.)

Plots  or  memes:  ...pppplots? In the sense of I like having a general vibe or starting place to put context to things, but that can 100% come from like three or four words of "I thought they might x" and then we can just roll along and see what sticks, you know? I like to plot vibes more than specific situations+outcomes- generally if I try to plot like, threads?, I end up feeling like we already talked through the series of events and the threading isn't as rewarding? Whereas plotting the relationship or general vibes then lets us have the idea of what we're doing and all the little details get to come out while we're running and that's the fun rewarding part you know? "What if they met here" > "what if they specifically did this thing and had this reaction" basically. Also though if you are like me and don't always like to talk first I love to take something and run you can give me no context and I'll wing it that's fine too ♥ Character vibes can absolutely grow organically and then the plotting becomes retroactive it's so funny, 10/10

Long  or  short  replies: Maybe kind of middle? Too short with threads makes them...tedious almost? They feel a little going-through-the-motions and don't really leave room for the exploring I like to do, y'know? And too long gets a little unwieldy. Oh you know what: flexibility in replies. I vastly prefer feeling like I can let them change and vary- sometimes the same thread can get a five paragraph reply, sometimes only one, y'know? And I think the idea of length matching is ..a bit performative. It, like a lot of other adopted rp niceties tbh, started in a good place but usually only ends up putting unnecessary pressure on people.

Best  time  to  write: It used to be early morning and that's probably still true but mostly it's just like, whenever I can find the space and motivation for it.

Are  you  like  your  muse(s):  There are a couple on the multi who are decidedly more Me-adjacent, to varying degrees of intentionally being like me. If my inner teen strongly identified with Luke Patterson that's my business! Henry doesn't strike me as particularly like me, but there are many things we would/do agree on, I think. Personalities and methods of operation and energy levels quite different but philosophies alike in a fair number of ways.

tagged  by : @tiderider ♥ tagging : @irrfahrer @bprdmyers @comicbookcreature @streetslost @cour4geous uhhh. that's my top of head "people I feel like I don't know very well yet" but as always feel free to lift this & tag me I would love to see it!

[indigohitoshi]

rating bnha people and how’d they protect / what’d they do with your drink:

the girls

– mina ; she cuts people ❤️ no i don’t take constructive criticism. she pulls a knife on anyone that gets too close. 10/10

– momo ; LOVE HER. she does the classic hand over cup but if anyone gets close enough she’ll create a bat and pull a sangwoo very fast <3 that’s my baby. 10/10

– jirou ; holds it close and simply screams at the top of her lungs if anyone says something along the lines of “can i see your drink?”. she just. starts hollering. until they get too scared or draws enough attention. 8/10, it scared me in the process trying to get my drink back.

– uraraka ; she makes your drink float, no one can reach it anyway. it ends up spilling but it’s the thought that counts. 6/10

– tsuyu ; she just... holds the cup in her mouth. she like. let’s it rest in there. but if someone came up and asked for the drink her tongue comes out and puts them in a chokehold, yeah ❤️ 7/10, the drink is slimey but that’s okay she did her best.

– kendou ; protects that mf with her LIFE. she doesn’t even let monoma watch it bc she doesn’t trust anyone. if someone comes within two feet of the drink she backhands the fuck out of them. 7/10, mistook you for a stranger and almost backhanded you, too.

the boys

– kaminari ; YOU GIVE IT TO HIM AND HE REALLY DOES DO HIS BEST BUT HE ENDS UP LOOSING IT. and if he doesn’t lose it he spills it trying to,, “jokingly” flirt with all his homies bc he’s a lot little tipsy. it’s the thought that counts, though. 4/10.

– sero ; he tapes it to the ceiling 😀 leaves it there. forgets about it. to be fair, he’s high out of his mind. you kinda want your drink back tho but his tape is so adhesive you can’t even cut it down 💔 3/10

– kirishima ; HE IS SO GOOD WITH DRINKS. EVERYONE trusts him. he def barks at people who gets too close or bites them until they bleed with his sharp teefies. the only thing is with all the drinks everyone trusts him with is he doesn’t know which one is yours, but he still protects it with his life. 9/10

– bakugou ; looks at you when you hand him the drink, tells you to fuck up, but goes batshit if anyone gets too close to him. at the same time he doesn’t do this shit for free, he probably spits in your drink and laughs when you smile and take a sip. i hate this mf. but 8/10.

– tokoyami ; don’t even TALK TO ME if you think he’s bad with drinks. he RESPECTS YOU WITH HIS LIFE AND WILL NOT LET THAT MF DRINK GO. he just fucking bodyslams anyone that gets too close, no words. if youre suspicious and too close he doesn’t care about your feelings and fucking destroys you on the spot. 10/10

– iida ; tells you you shouldn’t even be drinking and pours out the drink. he’s there to make sure everyone’s being responsible and you were not. 1/10 for caring tho.

– midoriya ; he does his best, too. but he lost it and had a meltdown because he thought you’d be mad at him. you reassure him it’s fine but he’s still like sobbing over it 💔 like it’s OKAY baby dw. 7/10

– monoma ; starts boasting about how much you trust him to hold your drink but hisses at anyone that tries to take it. feral mode. he swung at someone and this turned into kendo pulling him off and just watching your drink so monoma could go get some ice. 7.5/10

– shinsou ; he doesnt even wanna BE here. so when you handed him the drink unless you’re someone he EXTREMELY cares about he ditches that shit. but if you’re the lucky few he stands in a corner and just ... stares at it. his eyes don’t move. people try to talk to them and he flips them off or goes “no ❤️” and they walk away. 9/10

pro heroes

– aizawa ; he sorta like... glares at anyone that’s close enough. some bullshit excuse like “what drink is that? can i have a sip?” causes him to throw the first punch and isn’t phased by it 😀 mf said pow pow. 9.8/10, drink is 100% in tact but he complains ab how much he wants to go home.

– present mic ; he LOVES parties, but it truly pains me to say this because i love him, if you give him the drink he leaves it around and will panic. he ends up getting you a brand new drink until you sip it and say “...this isn’t my drink...” he starts crying and is overreacting more than you do. 4/10.

-- hawks ; bakugou in a different font. spits in your drink but still protects it. kinda backhanded, if he truly does fuck with you he flies around with your drink in his hand outside the bathroom door until you come back. he still spits in it tho. 9/10

-- endeavor ; disgusting. 0/10. 

-- midnight ; SO good with your drink. she absolutely just straight up ends anyone’s shit that tries to even TALK to her while she’s holding your drink. im in love with her. midnight if you’re seeing this you’re late for our date im at the restaurant rn. 10/10

league of villains

-- dabi ; idc WHAT yall say. if you ask him to hold your drink he acts irritated asf but anyone that LOOKS at the cup wrong gets burnt to ash i will debate someone on this and you Will lose. he won’t spit in it tho, he’s put hot sauce in it to piss you off and laugh when you get mad. overall 8/10.

-- shigaraki ; he really wanted to help okay but someone got too close and out of defense he pulled the cup back and disintegrated it. he didn’t cry you both just looked at the pile of ash in disappointment. 6/10.

-- toga ; got so happy when you asked her to hold your drink :( my baby :( she got so excited she accidentally stabbed someone that really wanted a napkin but she wasn’t sure because she wanted to protect your drink so bad. poor baby. at least your drink good tho <3 10/10.

-- twice ; he forms a circle of him around it. just clones of him circling the drink. very affective. 10/10. biggest smile when you give him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you.

that is all thank u <3

[starmoonjin]

TSUNDERE! DEPRESSED! SEOKJIN FANFIC IDEA!

Genre: ANGSTTTT FLUFFFFFF (you can include smut if you want to)

Pairing: TSUNDERE! Depressed! Seokjin x Famous kid in school! Freelance beauty consultant! Y/N.

Setting: school/college (whatever you want bruh)

-----------------------------------------

To all the fanfics writer.. HEAR ME OUT (especially for those who's trying to find a one shot/series ideas)

I am currently craving for TSUNDERE! Seokjin (basically like the alter ego of Kim Seokjin) who's already have an established relationship with cheerful, confident, expressive and a little bit of a bitch y/n .. For the first few paragraphs/scene we see that Seokjin is going through a phase where live feels gloomy and doest excite him anymore including his relationship with y/n, he was too in his own head or too busy feeling depress and y/n knows about it so continue to bring/make him a home-cook meal/snacks , continue texting him that everything is gonna be alright despite seokjin acting a little bit more dismissive than usual..

One day, Seokjin is having a very bad day he kept thinking what went wrong in his life until he saw y/n was laughing with (one of the members) and just simply enjoy having a platonic conversation with her friend. In that moment something toxic inside of Seokjin snapped (due to him being too focused on his depressive thoughts), he pushed y/n against a wall in a closed place (school stairs/ janitor room whatever) then questioning y/n loyalty, he feels betrayed yadiyadiyada Y/n who always trying to cheerful, who barely show her emotional side call him out for his behaviour that affected himself and his relationship with others then they broke up with y/n last word to him

"I sincerely care about you, more than i care about my skincare routine, and it hurts me so much when you didnt notice it cause you were too indulged in your sad thoughts, i have feelings to you know? Everyday i keep thinking on how to make you feel a little better until i neglected my own.. I love you for who you are and im willing to accept the best and the worst version of yourself.. but rn idk anywhere whether its worth staying cause your dark side is killing me slowly and you didnt notice any changes on me like you usually do"

So they broke up but y/n last words made Seokjin do a lot of self reflect and he finally manage to look himself in the mirror and see what he has become... So seokjin wanting to apologize to y/n by sending her text on how sorry he was.. y/n did reply to his text but doesnt really accept his apology she just said she need some time. So he send her flowers that he picks up on his way to school and put it inside y/n locker (Basically he does whatever he did before during his early relationship with y/n *in secret way that y/n knows* )

There is this one scene that i imagined in my mind where y/n (who's a freelancer beauty consultant in social media) having a break out skin moment due to stress (she's having a mental breakdown because of the breakup) . Everyone in the school noticed it and it makes y/n a little bit frantic and a little bit bitchy, So seokjin got an idea to give her an expensive beauty kit that she always wanted and keep telling seokjin about it during the time they're still together (as matter of fact seokjin did save his money in his piggy bank to buy her that but he forgot about it then his depression state occured) he wrote a little note that he willing to wait for her to talk about their relationship and he wrote that all those things that he did for her after the break up is just a way for him to make up all of his terrible treatment during his depression state.

Of course after the break up Seokjin seek help from a friend and trying his best to regain himself from falling deeper. He text y/n everyday about his recovery process cause he know y/n all too well that even tho they're not together anymore, y/n still going to worry bout his well being. One day he confessed to his friend that he knows how determine y/n can get. He stated his worry by saying that if y/n decided to forget about him then nothing and no one can ever stop her.. and it break him down because of how much he still cares and loves y/n.

(Last scene i guess..)

So it's Prom/ senior year event night.. seokjin came to the prom in hoping he could have a dance with y/n since she's the one who made him promise. He promised y/n that he will take her to the dance where everyone in the school/college can see (since their relationship doesnt involve a lot of pda) and he will not be embarrassed about it/running away. But once he arrive he didnt see y/n at all , he overheard y/n's friend saying that y/n is really sick and couldnt get up from the bed. So seokjin quickly left that place, went back home to cook y/n favorite cheesy chicken mushroom soup and drove to her place.

When he arrived at y/n house (its up to the writer whether they want y/n lives with her parents/roommates/all by herself) y/n trying her best not to act like she doesnt miss him a lot but still accept the chicken soup anyway... she was having a bad fever and her eyes are all swollen from crying. They sit next to each other in silence while y/n eating the chicken soup.. Seokjin then saw y/n prom dress was already hanging on her clothes rack so prettily then he said that its make him sad that y/n couldnt enjoy her last senior year event with people who cares about her, he proceed to to tell y/n of how much he loves every single thing about her and believe that y/n is going to be the most successful person after high school/college..

Y/n confessed that she overhead the conversation that seokjin had with his friend about how determine y/n can get.. y/n later on confess that she may be determine in every choice that she makes including loving him and breaking up with him.. but she feels very unsure of herself in letting seokjin go.. she still wants him and she still miss him..

Then the writer decide the ending...

THAT IS ALL I HAVE FOR THIS IDEA (LOL THATS QUITE LONG)

Brb imma tag my favourite authors , maybe they are looking for some idea @namjoonchronicles @yoonpobs @jungshookz @purpletaecup @citrustan

Oh and please tag me and credit me if you ever decide to write the hell out of this :) please tag @starmoonjin okay??? 🥰

[czarojay]

LONG POST

Someone please stop me from writing the ghost tubbo idea i had a month ago to procrastinate on the dreamon au

Because like i had this AU and maybe if i write about it here it will stop me??? I can’t actually find the conversation on discord where i talked about it so i’m probably just gonna throw stuff here from memory and change half of it

Feel free to write a fanfic inspired by this, but 1. tag me 2. i’d appreciete if you credited the idea or at least said i inspired you ^^’

Ok so Tubbo died during the Festival. Like I don’t care if in this a Respawn!AU or Permadeath, irl or whatever. Tubbo doesn’t respawn and dies in Tommy’s arms. 

Assuming it’s a world with Respawn, Tommy just waits for Tubbo’s body to disintegrate or whatever the bodies in this AU do, as Techno massacrates people in the background, he just repeats to himself something along the lines of “C-come on Tubbo! Respawn already!”, but his friend stays limp in his arms, growing cold. 

In the end, they need to flee, like they did during the festival. Feel free to make Wilbur even more insane or evil whatever you prefer and make him leave the body saying either don’t take it, he’s a traitor, just like Eret or just it’s going to be a dead weight (ha, a pun!) (that was so inappropriate to the scene sorry ignore this), so they leave the body and it’s buried in the Manburg just like in the later Tommy’s stream where he zoomed onto the grave with a sign saying that here lies the traitor Tubbo. 

But you can also make Tommy carry his dead friend’s body all the way to Pogtopia, anger and grief clashing, still in the denial stage, hoping Tubbo will come back. Like Tubbo dies all the time! He’s just such a clingy, clumsy big man right? He will come back, right?! Tommy rests Tubbo somewhere in the Pogtopia on a makeshift bed hoping it will make the healing faster and as Techno and Wilbur talk ‘downstairs’ he realizes something. Tubbo isn’t coming back. He would be back by now normally. 

He’s shook to the core with the realization and shakingly goes down to Techno and Wilbur. The pit happens, but at the end, even after Techno’s speech about the language of violence, maybe Tommy snaps? Maybe Tommy yells how Tubbo isn’t coming back? Maybe the older men, practically brothers to Tommy, realise that Tubbo is nowhere to be seen? Maybe they realise the boy, the spy, the victim of the situation is dead? Maybe Niki stares and gasps in horror in the background and is the one who goes to Tommy first to comfort him and help him with the wounds from both the pit and the whole today? Maybe Wilbur stares in horror at his fists, realising he’s the one who put Tubbo in danger? He wanted Tubbo to do the speech, he made Tubbo run back and forth between the two leaders, maybe if he didn’t pressure Tubbo as much, Schlatt wouldn’t have noticed. Wilbur falls to the ground and sits with his head between the knees for a long time, wondering about what he did wrong. 

Technoblade?  He’s awkward and we all know it. He may be a god of PvP, the best farmer in Minecraft, but he’s still awkward. Of course he wants to comfort his little brother, but what can he really do? He’s at loss and still hasn’t fully accepted what he’s done. He killed Tubbo, but he had thought he’d respawn/survive(I really went at the beginning and said this can be also for permadeath au and then wrote it all about respawn au but whatcha gonna do huh). 

Overall the tension in Pogtopia is high, but to be fair, so is Manburg. People didn’t know about the execution and (you know what im just gonna keep going as if the respawn au was planned) the brush with death, even if they respawned, was never pleasant. It’s even worse when they somehow find out Tubbo didn’t respawn. Some people are happy with the fact, others are in shock and grief. 

And here can end chapter 1! Or at least it feels natural for me to cut off somewhere here! Idk really it all depends on your writing style. I'm not gonna dictate how you’re supposed to write idk myself neither. 

Assuming Tommy took the body with him, he later goes on to the only place where Tubbo found peace. Where Tubbo went during the war, the only place where he wasn’t bothered, where he was safe and truly free, without a leader or a dictator over him. Tommy went to Tubbo’s jungle base. 

He took the body with him, not letting anyone of Pogtopia know where he’s going, not wanting a Wilbur or a Technoblade, especially a Technoblade with him. He felt as though he needed to do this alone. He needed to make sure his friend, at least posthumously, gets the treatment he deserves. So he buried his best friend as he would bury a king. 

Tommy spends the night at the jungle base and awakes at night, by a greenish blue light. It’s not too strong, but it’s just enough to be felt. He rubs at his eyes, trying to awake himself, to see if he’s not seeing this, but there it is. A will-o-wisp floating in the middle of the building. Tommy gets up, picks up his sword and carefully maneuvers around the wooden beams with a collapsed floor, he gets to the centre. 

He gently cups his fingers and let’s the ember fall on his hands, but as soon as it touches them, there’s a bright flash and Tommy falls to the floor momentarily blinded. When he regains his sight he looks up and sees a ghost floating above him. Its back is turned to him, but he can tell it’s as confused as he is. But wait… He recognizes that shirt. It may be more bright and glowish, but… 

“TUBBO” he screams in the dead of the night, the nature suddenly quieting. The spirit turns around with phantom tears in their eyes “,Tommy?” they whisper and that was the moment both of them were sure of each other’s identity. 

Tommy rushes, tries to stand up and hug Tubbo, but he simply passes through the boy. 

As disheartening as that was, Tommy is still overjoyed to see Tubbo alive. Or at least here, as they soon agree that he is in fact dead. Feel free to put a flashback here, a new paragraph or whatever maybe a new chapter from tubbos perspective.

 The last thing Tubbo saw was a grim grin from Techno and a flash of blue and red fireworks. Here is a “how creative can you get” test! You can put somehow afterlife looks like, maybe something comes for Tubbo to go on, but he refuses? Maybe he sees nothing or everything is a blur? Maybe it was the last thing and the first thing he saw was Tommy’s crying face? Here is your free chappy for all the angst it can fit! Have fun go wild, turn on some sad music and let it ALL out! 

Tubbo and Tommy talk for long and Tommy tells Tubbo the fallout of his death and Tubbo tells Tommy what happened from his perspective. 

But here’s the funny thing, because I don’t know what you think, but… ghosts aren’t actually bound to places! They’re spirits they can go wherever they please! So Tubbo decided to stick around to Tommy. And as they travel and reach Pogtopia, they find out, Wilbur or Techno don’t see Tubbo. From a brief moment, where Tommy was sleeping and Tubbo broke away and went to see Manburg after the festival on his own eyes, he meets Schlatt and as he stops his breathing (he doesn’t need it, he’s dead, he just does it for comfort or out of habit), he’s scared, he think he’s noticed and waits for insults or a surprise or a sorry or a laugh, he feels something phase through him. Schlatt didn’t see him. Schlatt can’t see him. 

After a number of tests Tommy and Tubbo settle it. The leader can’t see the spirit. 

Niki can see him, it’s settled pretty much the day after Tommy came back, with a shout of fear and surprise and later happiness. 

Quackity can see him as it’s settled, when Tommy meets him in the forest and Quackity aside from being scared shitless by a teenager with netherite armour, he sees a disoriented, glitchy ghost behind the teenager, floating creepily, lighting up the forest around them in a sickly cyan light. 

Everyone can see Tubbo, but the people who caused his very death.

AND I’M DONE HERE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. I CAN TRY TO THINK OF SOMETHING IF YOU ASK ME, BUT RN AS I’M WRITING THIS DOWN I DON’T KNOW. 

Reminder, if you want to write this plz credit the idea <3 Also holy shit this hit 1831 words how.

[liberolove]

Testing the Waters (pt. 1)

Summary: youve finally graduated high school and now youre moving on to college. youve decided to go to sendai university. its summer and youve become curious about checking out the dating pool in miyagi, so you download a dating app. you figure you might as well have fun before delving too deep into your studies

Part: [part one] out of ???

Pairings: nishinoya x reader / kuroo x reader / oikawa x reader / kiyoko x reader

A/N: theres tons of ships here, just me living out my hoe phase lmao please dont judge me. let me know what yall think

Genre: fluff, smut, crack

Warnings: flirting, college shinanigans

even though you decided to stay in your hometown to further your studies, you moved out as soon as you could. your parents were smothering you and you were honestly tired of it. so, you got your own apartment and started to live on your own. everything was fine and easy so far but then you realized how lonely you felt. your friends had moved away to go to other universities, and you were never really good at relationships. the anxiety of not knowing what to do with yourself until classes started was consuming you. to deal with this, you figured you might as well download a dating app. 

“Gotta check out all the hot singles in my area, I guess,” you thought.

it had been a while since your last relationship but you were sure you were ready again. or maybe you could try to find something different. maybe some hookups could be enough to help you during this weird adjustment period. 

you downloaded the app and added whatever details were needed. 

Name: l/n, y/n

Looking for: chat, relationship, hookup, anything

Bio: 

it took you about ten minutes to finally decide on what you wanted to add to your bio. finally, you typed out:

Bio: just another single college student looking for genuine human connections. Interests include watching anime, reading nerdy shit, and getting to know you 

you were never too good at coming up with bios but this should be good enough for now. time to see what kind of fish you could catch..

not even a minute after uploading a picture of yourself, a new message showed up.

Nishinoya Yuu: hey, beautiful! (;

Y/n: oh hi! how are you?

N: doing better now that I’m talking to youuuu. how about your lovely self?

Y: wow someone is really straightforward. I’m doing pretty well rn thanks. what are you up to?

N: just been bored as fuck on here and then BOOM you showed up (:

Y: lol youre silly. so hows the whole dating scene look like on here? any good ones?

N: nah it sucks honestly. But now you’re here so its a million times better!

Y: oh shush lol. does this site really work? like have you actually met someone from here?

N: uhh i actually havent met anyone yet, but ive had some nice conversations so far! ive still got high hopes

Y: have you been on here for a long time?

N: i just downloaded it like two weeks ago? idk but yeah. im hoping that maybe youll be my first??

Y: your first what? haha be more specific

N: OH sorry!! i didnt mean it like that omg. i meant like my first person to meet off of this app lol

Y: i mean if youre not busy right now, we could meet up for a coffee date or something? (cliche right?)

N: ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? like... right now rIGHT NOW?

Y: yeah (: sorry for doing this so fast. you’re just really cute and im bored haha

N: nooooo its fine i swear im just a little shocked. and WOW you think IM CUTE? you should look in the mirror because your gorgeousss *heart eyes emoji*

Y: so its settled? lets meet today at around 1 pm at XXX cafe? 

N: yeah! thats not too far from here! i CANT WAIT

Y: same here (:

as soon as you sent that last message you hopped in the shower and started getting ready. you debated whether to put on makeup or not and then eventually decided to do it. you wore that one red dress that greatly accentuated your butt and your curves. you checked the clock and it was 30 MINUTES UNTIL 1 so you finished up by brushing your hair and adding on a spritz of peach scented perfume. “Hopefully this impresses him.”

the cafe you guys agreed to meet at was only a short walk away from your apartment. you were almost at the cafe when you noticed the time again and it was already 10 MINUTES PAST 1! you were so scared that he thought you stood him up but as you got closer, you noticed a cute boy sitting by himself outside. you stared at his backside for a little, unsure if this was your mystery boy. so you messaged him on the app

Y: heeeey are you the one sitting alone outside with a tan shirt and some ripped black jeans?

your phone lit up with the answer to your question: “yes”

as you looked up again, you noticed the stranger you were staring at had stood up and was looking right into your eyes. once you locked eyes, he grinned the biggest smile you’d ever seen and he chuckled. 

“Hi there!! L/n, right? Nice to meet ya, I’m Nishinoya Yuu. Wow, you’re even more beautiful in person!! Do you want anything from the cafe? I’m buying”

You were kind of shocked by his beautiful smile and his spiky hair. It took you a while to respond as you tried to take in the wonderful sight in front of you. He was simply breath taking. You could tell he was the athletic type by the way his shirt hung onto his broad, toned shoulders. 

“Ummm... L/n? Are you okay? Do you want any coffee or sweets from the cafe?”

“OH, oh my god, I’m so sorry! I got distracted..” you said as you looked away from him, getting redder by the second. you hadn’t even noticed his compliment or the way he kept eyeing you up and down and licking his lips. “Yeah, I’d love to get a coffee, if you don’t mind. Please..”

His eyes snapped back up to yours. “Awesome, I’ll go order inside. You can just sit your pretty little self here while I do that. Don’t run away! I’ll be right back!”

now that you had some time to reflect on what the heck just happened.. you breathed a sigh of relief. You couldn’t believe that he was real and so goddamn gorgeous. His little tuft of blonde hair at the front of his head was so cute and his smile.. goddamn. the way he looked at you.. and his friendly demeanor. it was all so much to take in. you didn’t really know how to react. as soon as you had relaxed, you tensed back up as he came back and sat down with you.

“Here’s your coffee hot and ready just for you, hun”

“Thank you so much Nishinoya” you blushed a bit as your mouth pronounced his name

“Hey, just call me Noya! Or Yuu...”

“On a first name basis already?”

“Only if you want to..”

you giggled as you noticed that he was getting bright pink too. “Okay, Yuu.”

as soon as you said his first name, his eyes lit up and that bright pink hue on his face soon turned into a passionate red

“Soooo..” you said as you tried to break up the silence.. “what do you do? do you go to school?”

“Yeah! I’m going to start going to Sendai University in the fall! I’m going to be playing on the volleyball team! How about you?”

“No way.. I’m gonna go there too! I guess I’ll be seeing you around probably. And wow! Volleyball huh? That’s hot.”

when you said that last part, Noya almost spat out his coffee. you laughed at the look on his face. he was blushing so much he couldn’t keep still. you were almost afraid he would just run away from you and never come back.

He just tried to regain his composure and laughed. “You really got me there oh my god i almost choked. But yeah I can’t wait to play again.”

The rest of the afternoon you guys talked about everything from anime to your favorite season, to your least favorite horror movie. The more you two bonded over common interests, the more he let his wild side out. He became more rambunctious and fiery and this did things to you, to say the least. you checked your phone to check the time and it was already 6:45 pm. You had no clue as to when the sun had started setting, but it didn’t matter because you hadn’t felt this warm fuzzy feeling in your heart in a while. it felt so nice. you didn’t want it to end. but then noya interrupted your thought by saying, 

“Hey, (y/n)..” you two were on a first name basis already and it was just the first date. “it’s getting pretty late and I have to go home and help out my family with some stuff. I hope you don’t mind. Sorry! But we can definitely go out again if you want. i know i sure do..”

“Yes, of course! I totally get it. But first can I get your number?” you look away as you say this because this was the first time you’ve ever asked a guy for their number. 

you two exchange phone numbers and hug goodbye. you let the hug linger for a little longer than you should and plant a quick soft peck on his cheek and say,

“I can’t wait to see you again, Yuu.”

He just smiles and replies, “Me too, Y/n. I’ll see you again soon, babe.”

You freeze up and don’t know what to say as he walks away. you think to yourself, “did he really just call me babe?”

[jewpacabruhs]

bruv im still jus. wow. theres so much to say but. do u kno how good it feels... to be jewish, to accidentally fixate on one eric cartman & love him more than any other fictional character for almost seven years now, and then to see him in a little yarmulke, standing at kyle's side while he recites from the torah? do you know how validating that is?

i gotta get personal for a second here. idk how, but in the last few yrs my relationship with my own jewishness has been deeply influenced and intertwined with south park, as ironic and ridiculous as that sounds. i grew up secular, completely nonpracticing; as a child, i was only ethnically jewish, and saw jews as strictly an ethnicity, and a popularly hated one to boot. and it scared me. ive talked about it before, but as a child hearing about the shoah and about antisemitism, i couldn't understand. i thought it was looks for a while, which confused me, because ive got blonde hair and blue eyes and all my family that got caught up in nazi europe did/do too. i remember thinking as a second grader that i would've been spared for that reason; why didn't a good chunk of my family? but i grew up in a mormon neighborhood, with plenty of other blonde kids, and they stayed away from me like i had a disease. this was before puberty, before my hair got a little frizzier and my nose got a little bigger, when i looked just like any of them. but already, at age 8, i was an outsider. i wasn't one of them and i never would be, and they wanted me to know that.

and then i started to get it. it clicked even more once i got to high school and got called a kike every other day - but prior to high school, you know what i found, and you know what really pushed me towards understanding what being a secular jew in america meant? south park. and as a dumb little sixth grader with no critical thinking skills, you know what shaped my opinions on my own people? south park.

and that's good and bad. good because i do sincerely think kyle broflovski is excellent fictional representation for jewish people, maybe one of the top few ever shown on television. he gets on my nerves at times, but he's good through and through, he's well written and multi-dimensional, he's not a walking stereotype but he still has prominent jewish features that jewish viewers can look at and see in themselves, his morals and viewpoints and beliefs are obviously deeply influenced by judaism, hes deeply proud of his heritage and culture... and that all means a lot to me. and by the amount of jewish sp fans that adore kyle, it means a lot to them too.

the bad thing is, yeah, i can't deny it, during older seasons, cartman's treatment of kyle probably taught a lot of young and dumb viewers how to view jews in real life. have i, as a kyman shipper and cartman stan, justified that within a fictional and narrative context? yes. but it doesn't change the real-world effect; south park, but specifically cartman, since he's the mouthpiece, likely did cause some easily-influenced people to pick up antisemitic beliefs. did this contribute to the rise of the alt-right? debatable, but to some extent, possibly. was that m&t's intention and should south park be canceled and denounced? fuck no, i'll always love it lol, and fuck censorship. but it is something that should be taken into account.

matt and trey clearly regret that, and understand that it's no longer acceptable or fitting or needed in today's sociopolitical climate - or, okay, maybe they don't even regret it; they just understand that when fiction becomes reality, the fictional jackass isn't necessary when there's one right there in real life, sitting in the oval office, yeah? old cartman doesn't deserve or need a voice, not when real, awful people actually have one right now. and m&t are actively trying to change cartman for the better and really, really backpedal on his bigotry, while still doing it in a way that makes sense from a story-telling perspective. it's not a complete uncharacteristic change of character; it's shifting with the times and writing it into the character's arc so that it's a logical and plausible development in cartman's story.

cartman's behavior in the last few seasons is consistent character development. m&t themselves are pushing it, and clearly it's sincere; cartman's not faking. unless they're building up a surprise twist over the last, what, three to four seasons, that he was faking the whole time! woah! if so it better be a damn good pay off, because that's a lot of time invested. though that seems more forward-thinking than sp tends to be. they're intentionally stuck in the short-term, aren't they? plot-wise. but their character development is pretty long-term, and right now, cartman is consistently decent, and if it comes across as faking, it's because cartman's over-dramatic in how he speaks, and trey does that intentionally.

that's a tonal thing, and it's hard to say in a fictional character, but as someone who struggles with empathy myself, empathy and sincerity don't go hand in hand. you can lack empathy while still caring enough to sincerely and wholeheartedly apologize for something and mean that apology. not feeling remorse doesn't mean you can't apologize genuinely; the two don't go hand in hand. you can be mentally ill in any capacity, even a psychopath, and still deeply care about things or people, just not in the way someone else might. so you can headcanon that cartman's still a psycho/sociopath, though right now that's actually kinda going against canon, but don't rain on other's parades if they're happy he's exhibiting healthy growth. besides, and i repeat: what could cartman exploit out of faking sincerity for several seasons? nothing, so why bother? he wouldn't, unless it's literal in-show subconscious growth.

does that mean he's magically developed empathy? no. is it becoming less probable he's a legitimate sociopath/psychopath (while still possibly having better-disguised antisocial tendencies)? yes. does he seem to have better coping or anger management skills? somehow, yes! he seems to be legitimately healthier. does this mean he's no longer accountable for his past misdeeds, and even his present, less-severe ones? of course not! and you can still hate him all you want, but modern cartman is not the same as older cartman, and shouldn't be treated as such. because is this growth? absolutely.

he's clearly healthier, even happier. he's less angry, he's still a little shit but he no longer relies on bigotry or cruelty or anger to get the negative attention he thrives off, rather he gravitates towards being simply annoying. you know why he called ice? pettiness, immaturity, a little bit of spite, and a need for silly revenge. he's being intentionally petty, but going about it in a sly but no longer psychopathic way. less hannibal lector and more, idk, regina george, lol. extremely different on the antagonist scale. and cartman's been both.

and maybe it's personal bias on what type of human is worse within fiction, someone unstable and bizarre with violent tendencies (which is how he's come to be viewed in pop culture & some of the fandom, as a result of eps like scott tenorman must die), versus someone inclined towards pettiness and more silent and, i dunno, social-status-and-pride-driven types of revenge (cartman in general when he's not being particularly awful, tbh)... but i think it'd be pretty universally agreed that the latter is at the very least more tolerable, manageable, and even likeable - and certainly more redeemable. let's put it this way; if cartman continued on the path he was on, he'd be one of those tiki holding fucks, wearing a confederate flag hat, and he'd treat kyle soooo much worse. instead, m&t have turned him into a hypocritical false-woke ignorant dumbass - but that's strongly less problematique than it's counterpart, and it works.

because cartman simply serves a different narrative purpose now. and that's not sloppy writing; it's well-timed evolution of a character that stepped into a pre-9/11, pre-trump, pre-social media world! so much has changed, and south park is reflecting that in its characters, most notably in a character who was stuck in the, what, 1960s with his beliefs? that was fine way back when, but matt&trey are smart dudes - they understand that sometimes things have to change. besides, they love cartman, too. he's their favorite. but they understand that when real people act like him, it's not so comedic or satirical or funny, & they don't want to look at cartman, at their creation who they've invested twenty-two years in, and see the all-too-real hate of modern radical white america.

i think we know enough about matt&trey's social stances these days, and the empathy they've seemed to develop after having kids, to understand that they're no longer in their "apathy is best, everyone is stupid" phase. current south park is left-leaning and admittedly preachy at times, but i wouldn't want it any other way. g-d knows it's better this way than if they'd embraced and decided to appeal to their right-libertarian following instead. cartman's evolved in a progressive and positive way, and it's fucking dope, especially to us cartman stans who so badly want him to be good. and he is good right! he's doing so good!

and i know im up my own ass rn but yall know how much i myself have campaigned for jewish kyman/cartman and how much i just deeply and truly adore it, and to see it actualized in a canon episode to some extent? that meant the world to me. i couldn't believe my eyes. i was tellin lai - that's the most genuine, pure, almost violent happiness ive felt in my soul in years. that was like a straight shot of serotonin to the heart. that simple little scene made me so fucken happy yall dont even know. & theres a lot to be said about the political commentary and plenty of other people are analyzing that, but im a simple jewish kyman & cartman stan and boy ive been fed good fjskfkdkdkfk!!!

[asexualastarion]

For the album ask game... how about The Black Parade?

oh ABSOLUTELY. i LOVE you. this is all subject to change at the drop of the hat bc im wishy-washy and i love all of these songs anyway so

this got WAY too long so i am putting it under a readmore shhvkldlkdgjlkdsj

not including b-sides:

1. Teenagers- kind of a basic pick i know, BUT, in my defense, the song slaps. it’s such a fun song, especially when you’re singing it at the top of your lungs. the guitar part is super cool too- im trying to learn it rn but it’s a slow process bc im bad at guitar.

2. Mama- what can i say. it fucks. the old time-y feel, the harmonies/background vocals, the layers. the guitar goes so fucking hard. banging lyrics- “you should’ve raised a baby girl, i should have been a better son”??????? songs to be trans to.”but the shit that i’ve done with this fuck of a gun” is the kind of lyric that you can only properly convey if you’re screaming it at the top of your lungs. the whole ending is just. mind blowing

3. The End.- LISTEN!!!!!!!!! the end is WAY TOO FUCKING UNDERRATED!!!! oh my goddd i love it so much. i love it SO much. it’s such a perfect beginning to the song. the lyrics are great (”now come one, come all, to this tragic affair” if you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, you can find out first hand what it’s like to be me”, “another contusion, my funeral jag. here’s my resignation, i’ll serve it in drag. you’ve got front row seats to the penitence ball, when i grow up, i want to be NOTHING AT ALL!!! SAVE ME!!! GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!! SAVE ME!!! TOO YOUNG TO DIE, AND MY DEAR!!! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME JUST WALK AWAY AND TAKE ME!!). the bit with the snapping and the ooooohs is fun too. such a good song, it could honestly be 1 or 2 but my ranking system isnt based in logic and makes no sense to even myself

4. House of Wolves- house of wolves was my favorite mcr song for a good chunk of time, but as a result i’m kinda burned out on it, which is why it isn’t higher.  however it is still number four  because it’s objectively a fucking amazing song. the guitar is so fuckin fun, the lyrics are great, and it’s just. fun to dance around and sing it at the top of your lungs. you better run like the devil cause they’re never gonna leave you alone!!!!! tell me i’m a bad, bad, bad, bad man!!!

5. Welcome to the Black Parade- the big man itself. the titular song. their biggest hit. a lot of people shit on wttbp for being popular and, like, pretty much the only song of theirs to ever be on the radio anymore (and even then it’s once in a blue moon), BUT. it got popular for a reason. it’s a really good song. i love the structure of it, i love how it builds and builds and builds. the lyrics are wonderfully done- “a world that sent you reelin from decimated dreams/ your misery and hate will kill us all”, the whole “do or die, you’ll never make me” stanza is The Ultimate rallying cry. and the “im just a man, i’m not a hero” is just. ughghghdlkslakdjglsdkg. the titular song of an album entirely about death and dying and misery being SO hopeful and SO upbeat really portrays the album as a whole much differently- mcr is known as The Emo Band because, yeah, their aesthetic is dark and their songs touch dark stuff but they have never been all whiney and boo-hoo-y and melancholic for the sake of melancholy. there’s always been a positive note to their music and a lot of people just don’t get that which makes me sad. anyway. wttbp is fun and i like it and i like the drums and the trumpets at the end. marching bands fuck

6. Blood- ok so the pattern here seems to be that i favor the fun songs over the slow ones, and blood sticks with that. much like with mama, i love the old time-y feel. i love that this is like a fun little bonus ditty to end the album on. the lyrics are silly and fun and jovial, and the piano is great. love it and it makes me happy

7. Disenchanted- OUGHH. OUUUUUGH. i know cancer is objectively the saddest song on the album, but disenchanted just hits different. “when the lights all went out, we watched our lives on the screen/ i hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene” just DECIMATES me, man. the acoustic guitar is a nice change of pace, and the vocal performance is just. so fucking emotional. especially the “woahhhhhhhh-ohs” at the end. great song, makes me Feel Emotions

8. The Sharpest Lives- ok so i know this is pretty much in the middle of the list, but i want to stress that i dont hate any of the songs on this album, so even the middle of the list is pretty fuckin good imo. the sharpest lives makes me go batshit.  the lyrics are so fucking wild. “a light to burn all the empires, so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be” is SO fuckin sick like OH my god. what a line. also “there’s a place in the dark where the animals go/ you can take off your skin in the cannibal glow/ juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands/ drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, romeo” like WHAT?????????????? GERARD POPPED OFF W THIS ONE FOLKS!! also i love how at the beginning the whisper-y vocals bounce from ear to ear. also “so why don’t you blow me......a kiss before she goes” is fuckin hilarious. honestly this song should be higher but i havent gone through a phase where i’ve been obsessed w it yet so it stays down here for now. one day it will take hold and be all i can listen to for a month straight and THEN it will climb the ranks. 

9. Cancer- makes me cry like a liddol baby. my mom doesnt let it play in the car cause it makes her too sad. twenty one pilots covered it and it was FUCKING AWFUL so the song is kinda ruined now cause i can only think about their shitty cover. like the AUDACITY. but anyway besides that the song is heart wrenching and amazing. the hardest part of this is leavin you!!!!

10. Dead!- look, i know technically the end. and dead! are the same song/ are just continuations of each other but i’m listing them separately bc dead! is, to me, the worse of the two. not that it’s bad or anything, it just doesn’t pop off the same way the end. and all the songs before it on the list do. however i do love the guitar at the beginning and the solo, and the “one! two! one two three four! LA LA LA LAs” are super fucking fun. 

11. Famous Last Words- i used to hate this song!!!! i truly did!! it’s obvs not on the top of my list now or anything, but i have grown to appreciate it a lot more than i used to. like with wttbp, it is the silver lining of the album that betrays its optimistic side. it’s a happy final message to a dark album. the ending is fucking amazing. I am not afraid to keep on living!!!! i am not afraid to walk this world alone!!!!!!

12. Sleep- Sleep is, unfortunately, just kinda boring in comparison. i almost forgot to even put it on the list. however, i do like the “the hardest part’s the awful things that i’ve seen” and the “a drink, for the horrors that i’m in. for the good guys and the bad guys, for the monsters that i’ve been” lines. also the “three cheers for tyranny, unapologetic apathy!” line. but overall it’s just. eh

13. This is How I Disappear- i have. complicated feelings on tihid. on one hand, it reminds me of my favorite oc, re, and is on their playlist. on the other hand, i have grown bored with it over time. it just doesn’t stand out to me at all really. that being said, i do really like the “who walks among the famous living dead” and the “can you hear me cry out to you” stanzas. 

14. I Don’t Love You- while i dont think idly is a bad song at all, it just simply isnt my kind of song. i do think gerard’s vocals are extremely strong throughout, especially during the “when you go, would you have the guts to say/ i don’t love you like i loved you yesterday” line. like wow ok maam please continue. but overall i just dont vibe w breakup songs bc i cant relate

including b sides: 1. Heaven Help Us

2. Kill All Your Friends

3. Everything else

4. My  Way Home is Through You

my reasoning: 

heaven help us is tied for my favorite mcr song Of All Time. everything about this song is catnip for lil old me. the angsty christian imagery, the vocals, the guitar. all of it. the lyrics make me lose my mind, especially the “will you pray for me? or make a saint of me? and will you lay for me? or make a saint of- cause i’ll give you all the nails you need/cover me in gasoline/ wipe away those tears of blood again/ and the punchline to the joke is asking ‘SOMEONE SAVE US’” and the “you don’t know a thing about my sins/ or the misery begins/ you don’t know, so i’m burnin! I’m burnin!!!” parts. like i absolutely vibe with this song so fucking hard. i sing it constantly, it’s great to sing (very stimmy for me), it sounds beautiful. i am obsessed with it through and through

similarly, kill all your friends also speaks to my very soul. i can’t pick favorite lyrics bc id just have to copy and paste the whole song. i love the build-up, i love the time progression throughout the song (it’s been TEN FUCKING YEARS since i’ve been seein your faaaaaace rounnnnnd heeeere), i love the “you’ll never take me alives”. literally everything about this song makes me emo. it just Gets Me. it’s literally about my greatest fear. all my friends growing up and moving away and getting on with their lives without me, leaving me to rot in my hometown waiting for them to return. we only see each other at weddings and funerals, so it’s time to kill all your friends so we can party when the funeral ends!! it’s probably tied with heaven help us, but i’m putting it at number two just because it didn’t hook me as strongly as hhu did. it’s more of a strong, steady favorite than a “this song has latched on to my very soul and i have to listen to it on repeat over and over and over again”, if that makes sense. it’s still in my top 5 mcr songs though

i never vibed with my way home is through you. i don’t listen to it often, and i just don’t really feel it. it’s not bad, it’s just. eh.

anyway if you’ve read this far down i love you so much. thank you for listening to me ramble, mcr means a lot and i love to infodump about my music tastes. i really really appreciate being given an opportunity to do so <3

[smllgrlbigwrld]

25 Reasons To Love Harry Styles.

just a few of my own personal reasons why i think harry is the best human to ever exist in this world.

1. He accepts people for who they are no matter what and doesn’t discriminate against any of his fans or just people in general. And he proves it when he said this, “I love every single one of you. If you are black, if you are white. If you are gay, if you are straight, if you are transgender. Whoever you are, whoever you want to be. I support you. I love every single one of you.”

2. He isn’t afraid to wear bold articles of clothing and that really encourages me to do the same. As someone who lives & breathes fashion, it means the world to me that he expresses himself through clothes and does not care one bit what people have to say. It’s so powerful.

3. His songs (anything he’s written before his solo career as well) speaks to so many people on many different levels. Music itself is so compelling in general so I think its beautiful that Harry allows us to feel a variety of emotions through his music / lyrics.

4. He treats people with kindness. That alone is amazing and shows how much love and sympathy he has for people around him. Harries are honestly the best and kindest people ever because like....look at our teacher!!! :’) 

5. His sense of humor is the best. His jokes are iconic and he’s honestly a living meme. Such a relatable king!!!! I love when he says slang words haha he knows all the terms I know he does!!! When he says “sis” it’s the cutest thing ever.

6. As much as people like to treat him like absolute shit sometimes and say cruel and obnoxious remarks at him, he never retaliates in a way that hurts that person. He is such a strong person and he handles negativity so well which is so hard I bet, but he does it. He is such a good person and it makes me want to cry.

7. His confidence. I remember that video of him crying because he didn’t know why people hated him and I remember feeling his pain because of how much he was hurt by it. But Harry now? Such a confident and carefree person that knows his worth. “I’m still the only one who’s been in love with me.” 

8. He is soooo incredibly wise for his age and just in general. The way he formulates sentences and his intelligence amazes me. He knows exactly what he’s talking about and what’s going on in the World. 

9. He does everything he can to make us feel safe at concerts and even when people are hugging him he makes sure to make them feel loved. Always. 

10. His speaking voice can calm so many people and its true!!! There are literally videos on youtube of harry talking for like 20 minutes straight haha. He would be so amazing at ASMR lol. I especially like this interview because he’s talking like the whole entire time w no interruptions!   

11. He knows how to put on a damn show! If you’ve been to a show of his then you know what I’m talking about! (and if you have not, I am sending you so many good vibes rn that you can go to one next time!!!! <3) 

12. The way he loves his family is so beautiful. He is so respectful to Anne and Gemma and I’m 10000% sure everyone else in his family. That right there is a MAN!!!!! 

13. He doesn’t start drama or spill “tea” and honestly I think that’s the best thing about him. He knows what to say and what not to say, especially being in the public eye. Like yes he can be sneaky but he doesn’t start like full on beef ya know!!! (I’m sure as hell he spills tea with his friends though! good for him tbh) 

14. He has this vibe about him that makes people automatically feel happy and safe. Anybody that talks about him always says nice things about him and when friends and fans dedicate posts to him, its always nothing but great things! 

15. He isn’t afraid to break gender norms which is freakin’ AMAZING. 

16. He always dedicates an instagram post to every show he does and even shares photos of himself backstage so we can have a little glimpse into his world. It’s so intimate and special to me!!! :’) they may not be selfies but the kissy photo was good enough!!! Like BTA was a gift from God tbh!!! still salty ab the tour doc tho.

17. Anything he does is actual gold. He takes his time on creating music and perfecting his craft which is hot... lol. He knows he has talent and he wants to put out his best work and abilities. He always manages to do so!!! That’s why he’s in Japan still yall ;) 

18. He proved to everyone that he is a good actor!!!! He really did that huh? And that was his first major film like damn... he really made jaws drop and people fall even more in love with him. actor!harry RISE!!!!

19. He is the same exact person on stage AND off stage. I am so endeared by this omg. Like when we got the Christmas hontent??? He was literally the same goof ball that we all know and love. He is completely himself and I love him so much for opening up a little more to us. *cough medicine cough*

20. He goes through little phases in his outfits and accessories and it is the cutest thing in the world!!! His hats??? UGH I CRY!! I love that he tries new looks for awhile and switches back & forth with some pieces :’) esp rings!

21. The way he dances!!!! Especially the wmyb dance during every show! PLEASE!!!! I am so happy I was able to witness this iconic dance of his. He really isnt afraid to jump around and sway his hips to the beat and show off his fantastic moves.

22. He wears glasses that we very much deserve to see him more in. Like why do people suddenly have flip phones when he’s wearing glasses?? IDGI. Like we have a few photos of him in his glasses yes, but Im gonna need a few more y’all! He probably wears them all the time though :( 

23. He loves CHILDREN & BABIES!!! He is going to be such a great dad one day and god my heart cannot take it at all. He is going to teach them so many things and be such a role model to them. They are going to adore and cherish him so so so much. 

24. His tattoos are another way he speaks. They each have stories I’m sure that are either silly or serious and I think that’s beautiful! He can share these stories with his children or just simply look at them and remember a time in his life. 

25. He loves us. He absolutely LOVES us. I think he loves us more than we love him to be honest. You can tell how genuine he is when he says he loves us and he’s is thankful for us. He loves to perform for us, talk to us, hug us, and know us. 

[amazon-me-bitches]

Talk about the first ship you ever had. I THINK it was Kurama/Hiei from YYH

Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life. well KuramaxHiei being the first one was important bc I had not been exposed to much gay media in general and I started reading fanfiction and came across it and was just gobsmacked.  SamxDean is a longtime one. for a LONGGGG time I shipped Peterick too.and other bandom ships ((pisst: I still lowkey think Ryden happened))

What’s your current OTP? Sanders pairings change all the time for me but put on the spot I would sayyy ThomasxVirgil hands down -What’s your current NOTP? uhhh I’m not so much into Rociet I think Janus was manipulative and mean to Roman and Roman deserves better than that.

Do you have any poly ships? um everything? LAMPTDR plus sleep and Picani and anyone else that happens to walk in and sit on the couch with them for movie night? xD im not picky.

How do you feel about love triangles? As long as no ones feelings get hurt and it all ends in poly good snuggles im good with them (=

How do you feel about RPF? ALL DAY EVERY DAY, just don’t harass people irl and you are good to go my dude.

Have you ever shipped yourself with a character? lol I think way back when but I’m more of the ‘let the other 2 hot characters kiss while I just watch and cheer in a fireman’s hat.’ kinda girl. 

Do you have many ships that never got together at all? well yeah lol almost all of them thats why we write the fanfiction man lol.

Do you ship any characters that have never met? yes and no I have before as a crack ship but I like some chemistry.

Talk about your favorite first kiss. currently? Luke and Lorelie from Gilmore Girls. bc I have put off watching that show for years bc i thought I wouldnt like it and now I love it and GOSH IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM.

Have you ever been disappointed when your ship finally got together? nah im a simple person.

Has a ship ever broken your heart? I mean maybe RyanxBrendon from Panic!atd

How do you feel about will they/won’t they? it worked for Gilmore Girls lol

Have you ever “shipped at first sight”? Sam and Dean honestly the second Dean had him by the jacket in his face on that bridge I was ALL IN BABY.

Talk about a ship you initially disliked. Prinxiety ONLY bc I thought the shippers would be obnoxious about it like Destiel but that didn’t happen and I started to love them and their dynamic

Talk about a pairing you’ve stopped shipping romantically. Jd and Dr Cox....IT WAS A PHASE AND MY WIFE WONT LET ME FORGET IT!!

Talk about a moment which made you question an entire ship. I mean the state of Moxiety is turmoil rn but I still ship them. They will make up and hug and kiss and Patton will make them after sex brownies and and all will be cool again....if I believe hard enough.

Have you ever shipped something despite yourself?I said I wasnt going to ship Remrom but hey ship happens.

Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping. I wish MORE people Shipped Thomas with the sides.

Is there a ship you just don’t get, but have nothing against? that’s Destiel for me, the fans are really the only reason I don’t like that ship, they are crazy and most are horrible... but hey If Cas wants to hop in bed between some Winchester bros, I’m not going to be blocking the door.

Which of your ships have the best chemistry? Sam x Dean or LoganxVirgil

Which of your ships deserve better writing? Bandom about All Time Low, bring up your JALEX GAME GUYS.

Do you mostly ship canon pairings? nah I dont care about Canon

Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs and graphics or similar? Guilty as charged.

Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic you’re more drawn to? Yeah I like to refer to it as. “ the strong must protect the sweet”

Is there a ship you’ve shipped for most of your life? I still ship Hiei and Kurama the only difference is now I like them with Yusuke too lol.

Does shipping come easily to you? always

Do you need to ship something to really enjoy a movie/book/tv show/comic? nah but it helps

Name a couple of fandoms in which you have no ships. Golden Girls

Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love. I’m a sucker for Virgil getting all kinds of comfort and attention and love when he joins the light sides them all just fawning over him and making him blush. Him being so anxious about his first movie night with Thomas and Thomas pulls him into his lap and just holds him and drops kisses along his neck throughout the movie.

Share five must-read fics. dude I have read so much fanfiction I truely can’t lol.

Name your favorite fanartist(s). again too many to count. you guys are so talented holy frick!

Share your favorite fanmix for your OTP. you mean my MP3 player? lol

Recommend 1-5 shipper blogs. too much work I rec go to the tag of your ship and look around you will find MAGIC, my friends.

Do you create fanmixes/gif sets/fanart/fic/fanvids and so on for you ships? Yes I write but rarely share them im shy but I have fanfiction sitting in my Aol email that is from 2006, no im not kidding. there is also over 400 of them.

Do you have a favorite trope and/or AU for your OTP? Anything where Virgil or Thomas gets fiercely protective. or when Dean threatens someone's life or sacrifices someone else to save Sam.

Do you like and use ship names? yeah all the time.

Is there a fictional relationship you’d really want for yourself? nah I got me the best ship of all time Bierra which is BethxSierra and let me tell you guys its the DOPEST ship out there. lol its me and my wife.

If you could change one thing about your OTP, what would that be? They should flirt more and or fuck more. thank you for your time.

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE TWO

“I'm starting to feel more comfortable with my position in the game.” - dem

HOH: Josh C UPSIDE DOWN: Nick & Joshua NOMINEES: Emma & Nash POV: N/A FINAL NOMINEES: N/A EVICTED: Dem (Expelled)

EMMA

I been struggling in this game which is sad i want to have fun but yesterday made me feel like maybe having a meltdown and leaving 90 percent of servers was a good idea for me i really hope not i just really want to have fun and win for some reasons i always have trouble prejury in games trying to find my footing but at jury and late prejury i always know how to rise ASDFGH the people i really like rn are Jakey loml jev loml aria queen saira queen and also joshua is easy to talk too!!! nathan is also great

DEM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSgjyUhGTng

NASH

i simply think men should stop winning hoh and trying to nom me. its week 2 go target someone else j*sh. jev and i are cool now though <3 love him

DEM

I'm starting to feel more comfortable with my position in the game. I think I'm not in anyone's bad graces so far, which is good. But I really need to win one of these next HoH's so secure my social relationships. My plan moving forward is to see win HoH's. I want to win the next to HoH's I'm eligible in back to back. I also want to try to secure my relationships with Gina, Jev, and Jake. Those are three people I want to be close with in this game. Also maybe Joshua? He's pretty cool and chill.

SAIRA

I'm still getting a sense of how the game works but I feel pretty good, there are some people that are much easier to talk to than others but everyone is still so nice! i feel good about josh c as hoh! we get along pretty well and I don't THINK im in any danger but you never know! imma be honest, I don't have an actual plan, i'm mostly playing this by ear, just talking to people, bullying beck when the chance arises, and being myself! 

JOSH C

HELLO GIRLIES!

well, we won HOH and that's really EXCITING. i probably didn't need to win this week but i figured that i'd get a win under my belt while nominating people would still be EASY. i can establish trust with some people and get a "i didn't nom you, please don't nom me" situation going on. i also feel like the two people i'm going to nominate would have NOMMED me anyways because we just haven't talked..

who those people are? nash & emma. (vl don't hate me for only nominating women i didn't want it to come to this either)

but i just.. both of them have really only put in any effort to talk to me now that i'm HOH and i don't really LOVE that tbh. i've already told a few people that's who i'm thinking so i kind of accidentally locked myself in on these noms because there isn't any sense in throwing out more names than i have to!!

i have an alliance with kiki, brianna, jacob, jake, and aria. (i think that's the people in it? i wanna say that's right. LKFMSDG love this game for me) and i feel pretty good in that because i like all of them enough and they're people that will watch out for ME and each other. but i know my social connections go beyond that so i'm feeling pretty good with my spot in the game? i have a solid relationship with almost everyone in the game and i think i should be able to play a cute lil utr game for a few weeks. i don't think that i'll get targeted first if my alliance gets outed and if so.. i have ENOUGH faith in my comp strength and relationships to save me against MOST of the cast.

people kind of want me to nominate DEM because apparently he starts drama with people and has been a bit inactive. he's talked with me more than other people so im not super keen on throwing him on the block RIGHT AWAY but i'm thinking he's a good replacement nom because if people think he's MIA then no one other than him will be upset with me. maybe a backdoor? could be spicy..

i don't really know what else to say here so.. i hope this is enough! love u guys <3

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/mJw3qxsZ-Bg

JEV

Okay so I feel like pretty comfortable this week because me and Josh have gotten pretty close and bonded over our mutual love of Lucas HOWEVER he's just let me know he's gonna be nominating Nash and Emma which isn't GREAT since I'm in alliances with both of them and they're the only 2 alliances I have so I really wouldn't want to see either of them go home this week, this SUCKS ASS

JAKE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt2xRQqqax8

ARIA

how is it ONLY week 2 i feel so hecking exhausted fhsabfd, but that might also be the fact that is 2 am so,,,oop. Um okay recap time!!!! Recaps are so hard because theres minor details that i still want to note without seeming super annoying so heres a minor list of things im noticing 

-Dem wants to "start playing the game" I told this to Jake (wish i could bold names ugh)

-Gina & dem told me they were gunning hard for hoh- i told nathan/monty/nick/,,,,and someone else this

-emma feels unconnected from cast

-Jake doesnt like Gina

-Josh likes Me Jev Kiki (told joshua)

-emma knows alliances are starting to form

-joey can get pwr hungry and chaotic + good comp ability

-told gnia my thoughts on the sides being "connected v unconnected" and other tidbits of info

-GIna (potentially joshua) doesnt like nash

-Nathan/Nash ARE CLOSE!!!!! WEE FUCKING WOO!!!!

-Told Jake that Jacob has the power (and the bs excuse he told gina pretending he doesnt have it,,,sure jan)

-jake is GREAT at lowering his threat lvl im sick

-Jev-Josh-Nathan-Nash all bonded p well on vc potentially an alliance

-jake tried to get gina nominated

-Emma Nash noms

-Jake doesnt want emma to leave

So,,,thats what you missed on GLEE! Honestly glee sucks but yeah thats all my info i would weave everything together with cute transitions but im TIRED and lots of this information doesnt really connect well so,,,have a bullet list! 

okok nvm heres some general thoughts bc JUST a bullet point list is so boringgg im honestly not too sure what i want to do this week bc i think emma doesnt have a lot of people (although she has jake apparently,,,she might just be putting up a front of being unconnected ffs) so i would rather keep her around based on our relationship alone esp compared to nash whose been busy w/ irl things to reply i think (nash would prob do gr8 in old school bb,,,but new school is a whole other beast) HOWEVER!!! I need to protect gina who isn't the best conversationalist (sorry bb ily but its true <3) and keeping nash around ensures people have another "inact" target besides her but also nash is such a god connection for people like nathan and jacob and i would rather get her out sooner than later before we have another renee on our hands ...

Also i havent talked to the pasio peeps (omg if we ever make an alliance,,,that should be the name hehe) in a while and idk if theyre distancing themselves or if theyre just busy fndsjafd god im too paranoid for this game its awful. Also i think i mentioned the alliance with josh kiki bri jake jacob last time and it still isnt made and im PRAYINGGG it never gets made bc i have SUCH an awful feeling like SIX FUCKING PEOPLE??? S I X?? THAT IS GOING TO FAIL AND BLOW UP!!!! but i cant say no to an alliance so here i fucking am :/ also im trying to think of my longevity in this game and like,,, idk im nervous. I mean ive mentioned going to the end with multiple people but i have such a bad feeling im gonna go out 9/10 as a big move and i REFUSE to let that shit happen, not on my fucking watch no sir!! Not sure what to do about it yet but i feel like monty in particular doesnt trust me and i need his ass OUT! or maybe not if he comes around but like??? sir pls talk to me- i mean this phase of the game is early im setting up the pawns for later, but before later theres gonna be a couple explosions of my game which i'll have to deal with,,, or maybe not actually i mean in my first org i did a really well mastermind game with it- nvm it did explode on me once FDBSHFDS yeah so theres gonna be an explosion period but i think im getting good at dealing w/ the backlash from it and reintegrating myself..

oh also yeah im safe this week lol

anyway sorry for rambling so much LMAO have a trust ranking!

1.Gina (MY QUEEN!!!!!!!! i LOVE her!)

-BIG BIG FUCKING GAP-

2.Jake (listen,,,my thoughts go back and forth but he did tell me the noms so,,,have some rights)

3.Saira (we never talk game but i dont think she talks with anyone about game beyond maybe nick and also shes nice and im a sucker for nice girls)

4.Emma (if this isnt all just a front shes gonna make a great number for me,, might need to fact check some of her statements tho)

5.Joshua (honestly? i love him hes so funny and i think he has my back although he could be more act)

6.Nathan (literally havent talked in 3 days but also i have a soft spot for him <3)

-GAP-

sorry the Js are just kinda scary lmao JFNSDKF

7.Nick (!! we gotta an actual connection folks!! heck yeah!)

8.Josh c (im safe! but he D E F trusts others more than me such as Joshua and Jacob)

9.Jev (honestly a king but hes a little quiet although his reccs are the BOMB)

10.Jacob (i know youre being sneaky,,,idk what youre being sneaky with but im getting the vibes)

11.Dem (might be weird but i think he trusts me? at least a little bc he ranted about losing to me so O.0)

12.Brianna (youre adorable and deserve the world but everyone likes you,,,is this how people view me omg fhsabfhds)

13.Kiki (youre SO hecking sweet and actually u probs have a connections to nash but we havent talked ANY game yet)

14.Nash (p,,p-please talk to me uwu)

15.Joey (i dont trust you at ALL! Why? good question-)

was that mean? sorry in advance ilyall but also its 3 am brain empty no filter

NASH

i think jev and nathan might end up being good allies of mine (inb4 betrayal)! despite the mistake he made nomming me, talking to jev has been lovely so far he's getting me into loona LMFAO. and i just love nathan's energy & i feel like as the season goes on i can see him winning comps. i'm excited :3 hope josh c does not end my existence this week

JOEY

I feel FANTASTIC about Josh being HoH. I’m making sure that others are coming to me about gameplans, and I’m making sure I don’t come off as too pushy or aggressive in PMs. With most of the players, I’m trying to give them all the same energy and hype. It seems kinda weird to say this, but I’m not concerned about being nominated at this point. What I need to ensure is building my social relationships with people outside the “Crackhouse”, and yes that big ol friend group moved to Discord in 20 minutes like 6 months ago. 

This is the first major game I’ve ever played with Skinny Nick(yes, I’m absolutely confused as to what to call them, I’m so used to calling Nick “Eve” that its going to take time to adjust.) Speaking of Nick, my social relationship with him is actually surprisingly similar. In the past, I felt as though it would be as “on-sight” as Tom & Jerry, and it actually isn’t turning out that way, which is surprisingly refreshing. Every day, I’m making sure I send Nick something different to diversify my social game with them. Yesterday, I asked Nick about his preferred streaming services for music and TV, and I discovered we have the same music service(Apple Music).

I’ve played one game with Monty before, but it was a disaster. We were in pairs, and it felt like we were on different planets. I did tell him to not worry about personal feelings when it comes to this game, because I compared the relationship of BB Netflix and the Crackhouse to the separation of church and state. I made that comparison because the two entities of church and state should never cross, but when they do it becomes disastrous, and I feel as though that same principle applies to this game.

Overall, I feel good, Emma may be going up on the block, but it shouldn’t affect me that much. We’re in the early stage, I want to make sure I’m good with everyone.

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFeox7LM1-E

JAKE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLkZ-BIIjTU

HOUSE MEETING

https://youtu.be/BZMorvWvyKY

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT WEEK 1 & 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc-iMpkfrdw&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=3&t=0s

[survivorelara]

Episode #7: “Bon Appetite Bitch” - Dani

Merge time baby, this is where the game starts. My first job is to figure out who flipped in that last tribal, I'm betting on Loris, but if it's John I'd probably understand as well. Regardless it's disappointing because as far as "OG Tribe Lines" it's now 5v5v2, which sucks.

I think I've likely got an ok position at the moment, the real move is trying to make sure I've got an in with a lot of people, and to make sure I find myself in the majority.

Here's hoping my first tribal council doesn't turn out to be my last due to social misplays.

We merged woo, my streak of never dying premerge continues :D. However, it does feel like an early merge. There's still 12 people left, I have a strong feeling someone ain't gonna make the jury... 👀

I just noticed im the only Aquarius left woot woot. Game wise, hello, it's merge. I'm finally messaging  people, introducing myself and what not. I'll check in later to list all of the people that don't like me, but for now let's go into this hoping that I'm charismatic

Ok sooooo...... tribal did NOT go as planned but it still was good because I could’ve gone easily but drew t saved my ass because I saved his last week. we love good karma. Roxy literally forgived me without asking her to and we have merged so I don’t feel that at risk anymore. :) I just gotta keep talking to everyone so my name doesn’t get raised.

oh lord. You know idk what I’m gonna do yet Because I don’t want to work with pre friends but i don’t necessarily like my tribe either So that leaves me with loris Idk I’ll figure it out

For now, I'll do a hot or not and comments Roxy- NOT. I have to talk to her almost continuously or else she'll think we aren't allies and vote me out. (not that we are allies rn but still) Ci'ere- DECENT. He's nice but replies are sporadic and idk if he wants to work with me. Loris- HOT AS FUCK. my #1 right now, he's p cool <3 John - STEAMING? He is so nice and so cute but he seems close to purple drew. Purple Drew - LUKE WARM. Love the dude, but I am semi trying to avoid pre game friendships. Little Mix Drew- STRAIGHT FIRE. only bc of LM. in reality, more SEMI WARM. it may turn out that each side has a little mix supporter? Drachus - WHO TF KNOWS. I cannot tell if this man is playing me or not. He tells me he can't vote him out, but is that true? We havent been to tribal and he seems to be lying to me about how much he knows. If he really doesnt know all that... he seems like someone I can maybe work with. We've been loyal to the end for each other before. Just keep in mind- I'm not playing for 8th. Emma- queen? She's inactive but a great number for me. We tell each other stuff and she's just precious. Kori- challenge threat, and someone who I want to be my shield. Dani- shes so inactive bruh like what even Dylan- also inactive.

so its 5 revati, 4 auva, 3 zosma. Zosma and Auva have 2 a piece of people who I loved pregame and would consider working with. So who knows? I have a double majority, so lets not be surprised when I'm first out.

Well, I THINK I'm in an ok-ish spot. I've talked with a LOT of people, IDEALLY the next one gone is Sam just so that I can get Dani more on my side and make it clear that I wanna work with her.

I'm a little salty Altager didn't beat the basic tribe name of Orion... but I'll get over it... eventually...

In other news, I ate a burger today... it was adequate.

MERGE BABIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm elated to make the merge AND get to name the tribe! Like that's fucking sickening! I'm excited to see what the merge holds for me because that was a rocky pre-merge phase. Like obviously I wasted my idol, blah blah. And like I was an emotional mess like the entire way through. It sucks being the one that has to blindside people and like break hearts- but in the end, that's the way it is. I just love that I'm getting to play IN THE MERGE. Like I rarely ever do that because I am too much of a physical threat (in most ORGs) to be allowed into the merge. So I'm super glad that I get to play in the merge and I just have to put myself in a mindset where I can be carefree and not let the stress of the pre-merge weigh me down!

Well, The challenge went pretty well I think, not sure if I won or not though, we'll see.

I'm getting frustrated with Ci'ere though. Everytime we talk they take hours to respond, even when they initiate the conversation, and I respond within 4 minutes. My patience is definitely getting tested.

Well, I didn't win the challenge, I was closeish, got all the right constellations. I just kinda, didn't math correctly in calculating my Tiebreaker number... not sure what I even did to reach that number anymore.

Regardless, I just gotta keep the target off of me, get a feel for what others are thinking, and go from there. Ideally Sam or Ci'ere since Dylan who I'm still not a fan of won.

Ci'ere has been making a bit more effort with me, which has me a bit suspicious, so Sam is ideal just to make it clear to Dani that I DO wanna work with her.

What do people do when they merge? Like this concept is so foreign to me that this laziness is actually nice. Its peaceful and serene. Like my god. If this is the case, why the fuck do I not try to make the merge more often? Honestly, this revelation is so beautiful, I may ugly cry just thinking about it!

ok no offense but the conflict between dani and ci'ere seems literally so beyond fake i can't even comprehend it. maybe im wrong but like it feels so planned, like dan's funeral or smth.

also ci'ere just like formally asked to work with me which was really sweet so hi. they also spilled some tea about roxy/drew/drew2.0 and how theyve been working together without me so. yoinks. glad i won immunity because i wouldve been so lost

Man i'm finna make that bitch dani leave, im working my ass off to save ciere and get her outta here since she's HELLBENT on getting us out. No no, you don't do that. Hope you enjoy merge boot and hopefully just missing out on jury :)

So yeah, the main name floating around has been ci'ere. But the thing is, I've been talking with people and dani seems disposable to a lot of people. So i'm tryna convince the people i'm close with to vote her out instead of ci'ere. Because here's the thing, if dani survives until next vote and ci'ere leaves, she's going to be after me. What i'm saying to my crew is that if ci'ere survives, he'll be with us while dani isn't close with like anyone, she just talks to throw names out cuz she sucks at this game. so like, if people really want ci'ere out, it'd be so much easier to simply blindside him next vote if we wanted, because he'd feel so safe. Esp since im 95% sure one of those 2 have an idol, so i'm gonna try my best to either flush it from ci'ere, or blindside the fuck outta dani sending her home packing with it

suprise bitches after a boring pre merge i am actually playing the game i just need to see which side everyone is on i may use my idol to have my side be on control i could probably be first merge boot before i play yikes! also me and loris are powerful... he has the legacy advantage his mind omg

I hate this cast. Yell at me for a short confessional if ya gotta.

Deadass probably setting myself up for failure this vote with going after dani so hard but fuck it idc, didn't have a chance to get rid of her after louise had left and she told toby to get the fuck outta here, and now I do and she's going and hopefully joins him in the vl :) toby this one's for you homie, miss ya lots <3

W e l l, things have went left here at the Orion camp 😄 I woke up to Andrea & Loris letting me know that Auva 2.0 was after me & that I should play an idol if I had one. Apparently the Auvacados are getting bad vibes from me? However, Dani was the one that made a move against y’all so why am I getting getting ya knickers in a bunch? I previously started laying down the groundwork to have people turn on Miss Dani, but I decided to toss that plan out the window. Last night, Loris told me that John Coffey was the Revati that flipped last round and it’s because he’s friends with Drew H. I’m certain that the Drews, Roxy, & John have an alliance that finalized right before the merge. So that needs to be broken up right away. I went to Dylan, an OG Auva, to let him know that his old tribemates said he was on the outs and they made an alliance with Louise, Dani, & I. He seems to be interested in voting with me, and if he isn’t, then he’s a flop.

Sam called me “babe” earlier & I really cannot with this flirting strategy, but I’m not opposed to it! I guess I would consider him my final 2, but I’d say he’s playing well so I might need to cut him before that hehe.

I don’t like this back and forth running around nonsense, so I’m laying it all out on the table. I exposed the Auvacado 2.0 alliance. I hinted that I have an idol that I really don’t want to use, but I probably will just in case they think I’m bluffing & people don’t target me in the future for it. Apparently this caused people to start scrambling which I’ll have you know is my favorite type of egg. Deviled eggs are good af too 😈

Sam says that we shouldn’t go for Roxy because he has an in with Drew T. & that we should keep Dani the target because she threw out our name. Dani says that John & Kori threw out my name to her. Do I believe her? Not exactly. In the tribe chat when I asked Dani to vote for Roxy, she says that she likes her & would rather do someone else. This is a mess. So right now it’s looking like myself, Sam, Andrea, Loris, Emma, Dylan & Drew T.?

Why is everyone always going after me what the shit. Its drew t and h fault im like their fuckin scategost I jk I love them but im so annoyed why is the fall out if the shit theyfor do, gets blamed on ne when I havent dine anything loll fuck off

I love u drews tho

I knew going into the merge that I wanted Ciere out sooner rather than later; and when an alliance with Dani and kori was formed I thought I’d be able to get him out right away. Dylan won immunity which is awesome because he’s easily my favorite right now. Idk what it is about him but we just vibe really well right now. I’m not sure where I stand with old revati other than kori who asked me to be his final 2 the other day. I’m a wannabe puppet master and nobody was taking my bait to vote ciere. Well it seemed like they were until little rat decides to announce that I had an alliance with the Drew’s and Roxy. I went telling everyone the chat is barely even active and we voted together once. As of now the majority is seeming to want Dani and Kori isn’t answering aoooo idk who I’m voting for I kinda still want to do ciere cause I swore to Dani I wouldn’t vote for her, but I also don’t like her attitude all that much tonight. Same old Dani from unifinished business, but I actually was going to have her back. I’m a mess!!!!!!!!111

WELL BITCH I MIGHT BE GOING. These motherfuckers REALLY want me gone huh? WELL IM NOT GOING OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT. Roxy will rue this day. ROXY WILL RUE IT. She just fucked over her whole damn alliance.

Dani is voted out 9-2-1.