#since we've already been talking

[smokedanced]

i'm still shadowbanned so i can't interact with your posts, see my ims or asks, reply to even my own posts, and if it appears i've unfollowed you i have not unfollowed anyone in several weeks, shadowbans fuck with mutual checker and follower lists.

because i'm not more than lurking here because tumblr, but i have to quickly note:

i'm not watching the episode. ever.

i don't know if i'm watching the third season if it gets renewed. i'm too fucking traumatised from previous favourite character deaths, i think it's shitty writing to kill off the disabled character and the character who has just found some happiness after who knows how many years of having not had any of that. while i don't know if i'd call it problematic (ableist or bury your gays), i do think it's shitty, and it definitely is personally triggering to me.

so i'm doing what i did when spn killed off cas: i'm never going to watch the episode.

i'm also going to try harder to not care about ongoing media again. i'm tired. i'm really tired of caring about things and then ending up having to grieve them. i'm not ok. i'm certainly re-jaded to fucking tv shows. i shouldn't have let myself care. every fucking time they fuck you over and you have new trauma and grief.

and don't you fucking dare come tell me "you can't have grief/trauma over a fictional character" i will full on block you.

it's valid if you enjoy the show, i would never tell you not to.

there are major character death scenes in media i have enjoyed, as well. it's ok. just because something hurt me doesn't mean you aren't allowed to like it.

most importantly for this blog. as a rule, i will not allow threads where izzy is dead. even if neither one of us is writing izzy for the thread, i will not allow any threads in the ofmd universe that even refer to izzy being dead. i will add this to my muse specific rules before posting again when i'm out of tumblr jail. obviously this only applies to threads with me, you can write whatever you want with other people. you don't have to content warn tag his death for me either. just don't bring it up on our threads and don't bring it up to me in ooc conversation. thank you.

i feel like my tone is really harsh and cold right now but i'm just trying to. breathe. sending love to you all fellow izzy enjoyers.

[deadpoolsmom]

it's obviously for exposition reasons but CP9 showing up in Water 7 and IMMEDIATELY unveiling themselves and fully explaining who they are and how their organization works is so funny

Lucci spent 5 years pretending he could only communicate through pigeon ventriloquism, and as soon as he stops he doesn’t shut up. Just immediately yapping about being secret government agents, the structure of their covert organization (that's not supposed to exist), and world government's secret plans for mass destruction. Starting to think Hattori was actually a safeguard so they could make it that long undercover

[stillsolo]

this is such a baby take but ppl who don't talk through tags low-key freak me out

[misscrazyfangirl321]

"Summer vacation" is over... Back to the real world.

[viksalos]

"i can fix him" but less in a cocky romantic way and more of a "i can put him on the path to self-acceptance by guiding him through a late autism diagnosis" kind of way

[lee-blogs]

Still packing stuff and now i'm looking for a box for this.

My dad and i made it a few years ago for halloween, probably 2015/16 if i'm remembering right. It's made from a lays can, a wipes container from his work, and paper maché. I don't remember what the wires and front metal bits are from, but the middle actually lights up! It has one of those long battery-powered emergancy lights in it and some colored tissue paper

[corset]

Our mental health has been in such an interestingly terrible place for the last month or so. Genuinely kind of fascinating to watch from different internal angles....like watching the ocean ebb and flow and change temperament at random sometimes based on weather or the moon or something. Like this shit is just terrible

[triglycercule]

guys i havent written since may (for killer's birthday) but stupid silly swapinverse has been on my mind for a little bit and i threw together this silly (he has a panic attack and throws up) little short draft 4 swapinverse horror!!

-

“hah… ah… oh god… no, no, nonono…”

he ran. sprinted through the forest like a frightened deer, his demeanor that of prey, although his previous actions aligned more of a predator. panting and shaking, his mind cycled through countless variations of how to react to what just happened, what he just did.

how should he react? how could he react? it was impossible to tell for him in the panicked state. and as the trees in snowdin slowly began to surround him (but weren't they always doing that?), paranoia couldn't run anymore. he was surrounded, he was blocked off, he couldn't escape. not from horrortale, not from snowdin, not from the dusty graveyard he had just left it, and not from the blood smeared across his mouth.

“no, i- what did, what did i do? paps, snowdin, even-undick, no, it-”

paranoia’s incoherent rambles brought his hands to wander across his face, tugging at the massive hole in his skull spanning majority of the left side of his head. picking at the chipped bone didn't help, it never did, but a nervous habit was unbreakable, and he was more than nervous in this moment. in fact, quite terrified. everything was terrifying. he was terrifying. and as the slightest hint of red blood touched his sleeve, the once red, now magenta eye quickly locked onto it, and he couldn't hold it back anymore.

“fuck- oh god, no, aliza-!”

falling to his knees, a disgustingly gorey mess of red, pink, and black spilled from his mouth. sounds of retching and hurling were all that filled the empty forest, and paranoia couldn't bear to look down and see the mess he’d made. the mess he’s caused. wasted food, he would've said. but that statement normally only applied to others. he never imagined using it on himself. choking on his spit and certainly not his blood, tears fell from his eye, joining the vomit and blood seeping into the snow. strange. paranoia didn't think he had enough magic to even shed tears anymore. just for the bare necessities. he managed to surprise even himself, after all this time.

but could it be could be considered surprise, or rather terror? he fit up to his name, certainly horrified at his own actions. forcing out as much of the grossness he could that he’d just consumed, paranoia couldn't help but look down at what he’d done.

red. a lot of red. too much red. he’d never been queasy before, never. he had to adapt to it, being the one to hunt down humans that ran or sneak up on those when times got desperate. there was no time or need to be queasy at what he even considered his job before. a duty he had to do.

but now, there was too much red. far too much red. and he didn't know why, although he totally knew, but paranoia couldn't stomach it. he just threw his guts out (shouldn't they be aliza’s guts, or no?), and here he was, wanting to throw up until his SOUL shattered. his SOUL cycled through those strange 4 shapes, unsure of which to settle on. he couldn't blame it. paranoia himself was unsure of what was even going on anymore. he wanted to run, but was frozen. he wanted to scream, but didn't know who at.

everything was contradicting. everything was going on, and not enough was given for paranoia to understand how to deal with it. and with a muttered curse, he flopped on his side onto the somehow dry snow, losing consciousness in the haze of fear now intermingled with his SOUL.

-

ik theres probably grammar mistakes i wrote this on my phone,,,, but like idk. had idea for a little moment in paranoia's lore and i sure as hell didn't wanna draw it so i wrote it as an easier media! god this is so much easier compared to drawing idk why i dont do this more often (because youre lazy silly!) anyways swapinverse silly i love swapinverse. i've only thrown up like never so i dont know if this works. also never had a panic attack (i think) and AGAIN i dont know if this is accurate but whatever i dont write to be good i write for expressing my ideas. like everything i do

[artemismatchalatte]

I hate being obsessive over someone. I feel like I'm heading there and I don't want to be overly clingy either. Ugh. I don't know if it's a bipolar thing, a possible crush thing, a loneliness thing or a combo of all three. My medicine has been working pretty good so far but I'm a little concerned that someone is taking up a little too much room in my headspace. I like this person BUT I do not want to slide back into my weird obsessive loops like I used to when crushing. That's embarassing and unhealthy. Ugh.

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

[lunneus]

jesus christ genshin

im glad i upgraded my storage

mhy fr jsut eating storage like potato chips

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Well damn, today did not go how I expected

[starpros-sunshine]

Also I have to confess when Eichi does the the "I've heard usually people do this and this" or anything in that vein as a statement it's so real to me

[chubs-deuce]

Mona's mom is probably in prison and fuck your boundaries, I hope you get brutalized in the future

Those are some bold words for someone who tried to gaslight me with plagiarized words and didn't even have the decency to deny it, even when the server admin from who you stole the paragraph - back from when she was politely warning you about your toxic behavior in dms - has directly confronted you about it.

I know you can't stand losing to the point where you show your worst colors the second anyone disagrees with you (something you've been called out for consistently by multiple people, on top of general rudeness), but this is an L you're just going to have to accept taking lmao.

It was never about Mona's mom or how close to the truth your crude takes were or not, it has always been about your rancid behavior and self-absorbed attitude with which said takes are always presented. You barged into my post and dropped an insulting assumption in the comments about a hypothetical character the post wasn't even about, then made an ass of yourself when I pointed out that it's rude to do that.

The fact that you're completely failing to acknowledge this and instead try to shift the blame - once again - away from you and proceeed to resort to threaten me with violence is just proving that for me.

I don't normally respond to hateful asks like this, but there is also rarely a person that has proven to be as deserving of my ire and being told exactly how much is wrong with them and their behavior as you.

And you hate me because I see through your manipulative bully tactics and call them out plain as day.

Note by the way, please, how not once I have resorted to childish name-calling in this entire post and yet made my distaste for you abundantly clear? That's the difference between me and you.

I understand and acknowledge the risks and consequences of my actions, think and reflect about what I'm saying and how it affects people, how both can and will be used against me if the opportunity presents itself, how to handle it when it does. I will admit when I've made a mistake and do what I can to rectify it, or at least take steps to try and prevent it from happening again in the future. I'm not perfect and I make mistakes, but I at least try to be better.

You don't. You talk shit and get mad when you get hit. Then keep doing the same thing, again and again.

Have you ever stopped to consider that maybe being more observant, honest and mindful will actually get you the kind of validation you crave? And yet you keep tricking, keep manipulating, keep bullying your way through life, to get what you want.

I feel almost sorry for you, honestly. Whoever taught you that that's the way to go has done you dirty, because there's just no way in my mind how anyone as vapid and manipulative as you as her go-to strategy in life would be capable of forming genuine, lasting bonds.

[chibikinesis]

.

[nostalgic-suggestions]

the tenderness of walking them to their bus stop and kissing goodbye im so happy