#sincerely hope this doesnt tag everyone

[quecksilvereyes]

I posted 8,205 times in 2022

That's 3,315 more posts than 2021!

373 posts created (5%)

7,832 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@vaspider

@feuer-bluete

@cardentist

@mushroom-in-space

@ohboywonder

I tagged 1,758 of my posts in 2022

#text - 280 posts

#timezone reblog - 180 posts

#reference - 99 posts

#sewing - 42 posts

#poetry - 42 posts

#larissa makes things - 30 posts

#wormdelivre - 27 posts

#cardentist - 23 posts

#signal boost - 23 posts

#quote - 21 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#1) hebrew 2) spanish 3) chinese 4) literally any slavic language i just think theyre neat 5) any language with clicks in it. i cannot make t

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i always find it so funny when ppl whose first language is english are like "oh i dont know if i like this song i just cant understand these lyrics i dont speak the language" bestie 5 year old me spoke neither italian nor english and still begged my parents to play "eros ramazotti feat. anastacia i belong to you" at any given opportunity

its not about understanding the lyrics, its about the vibes! did you like the beat, did it make you feel something, did you make up a whole different meaning for it in your head?

we didnt all lose our shit about drangonsta din tae for people to only listen to music in languages they understand

727 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

#4

sometimes i think about narnia and i vibrate out of my skin like...

you walk into a world you cannot understand, frozen and dying, and it is you who thaws it. you who kills the witch, you who breaks the stone table, you who slays the wolf. it is you who is crowned and it is you who wails for two worlds when the wardrobe doors shut behind you.

your skin never sits quite right and your teeth are too dull. there are wars in your bones and decades in your eyes before you can reach the telephone on the wall.

you are king. you are queen. they won't let you read the newspapers at breakfast.

it calls you back from beyond a train and from within paint. begs with bloody palms and salt-crusted cheeks. takes from you all that you can give - and sends you back.

you watch your sister fade.

you are a child twice and an adult once. and when you stand in your home again, with crushed bones and the smell of coal still in your nose, you watch them sneer at your sister.

your sister is the sun above you. she is, beautiful and stone-cast, alive in a world you could never stomach. she smiles, still, and stretches her skin over human bones.

she is no longer a friend of narnia. do you tell them it is her who has to bury you all and the stars that are falling from the skies in shards?

2,553 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#3

anyone wanna hear my rant about how marvel basically destroyed media literacy

27,288 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

#2

im obsessed with stories that have a fixed ending before they even start. stories with narrators who are crying as they tell it because there is only one way this can end.

there is only one way this can go.

stories where the characters might know how it all ends and beg the audience to change it, knowing they can't. stories where the characters are unaware, but given the people they are and the situations they're in- well, what else are they supposed to do?

stories that are loops. that start with everyone dying and getting back up again to do it one more time.

because this time, maybe, it will be different.

the narrator cries.

34,674 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

since im on a roll about tragedies:

i am sick to death of fourth wall breaks that are funny. i want fourth wall breaks that make me want to cry.

give me hamlet looking up during his monologue to see the audience and plead with them for help. give me orpheus, on the road back up from the underworld begging us to make sure eurydice is there, to tell him she is safe. give me orpheus turning when the audience stays silent.

give me someone, bloody and full of tears monologuing to the camera when the narrative has wound itself so tight that they can't escape it anymore.

"youre just watching me. help me. im dying and im rotting and im losing myself and you wont do a thing."

i want the tragedy to be the performance. i want the tragedy to be, truly, in the eyes of the beholder.

59,905 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[imaginespazzi]

Thank you 😊 As long as I survive the night out on the town in DC the evening before should be great ha. (Manifesting a good performance already Washington..). I just hope that the squad is mostly healthy at that point.

Yes for the love of God Indy please start pulling off some wins. Lots of season to go, hoping for the best 🤞. (Also hey Liberty are my other team! 🙌)

Ok, Full Court Press highlight thoughts:

I always just love little behind the scenes looks! Seeing insight to NIL stuff was cool. And I get they dont really have to, but it always slays me that these athletes cant really cook!And I thought it was a really good mix of players with them all being prominent but very different individuals. CC bias was predictable but also logical given Iowa had another run to the title game. I was mostly bothered by the amount of time we had her bf on screen. Like I get thats a significant other, but why are we hearing from this dude constantly? He just didnt really offer anything for the audience as a narrator imo. Also the others just may not be in relationships, but it seemed an odd choice given that just family members were featured otherwise for everyone. Cardoso's journey was really interesting to me. I wasnt aware of all of her tough family circumstances back home. Makes me feel good for her success. And Kiki.. honestly kinda just blindsided by how attractive she is and realization of who her aunt was! (Really brought home the fact that I dont get to watch enough west coast bball lol)

Oh and from your other recent asks - I sincerely hope, as someone who is half Irish, that no one here has ever thought Im British! (Kidding everyone, Ive got a total soft spot for the English and who doesnt adore a pub)

Died laughing at your last tag replying to my ask btw. Not wrong 😅

Best - ☕️

LMAO here's to you having a memorable (in the best way possible) night babe!

AHHH TWIN! The Liberty (please don't embarrass me against the Sky again) and Sun are my two main teams this season so tbh I very much was not rooting for Indiana at all but now? We are Fever fans on this page (that hurt to write actually).

Yes I love the BTS we got and seeing them in their day to day lives out of the court was really refreshing, like they're all so much more than just players and I think we forget that sometimes.

Ugh in general I don't understand why CC's boyfriend gets the attention he does like who the hell is that man even? Literally as plain as toast and just bad vibes all around tbh.

I think Kamilla's part was my favorite tbh. I knew a little bit about her background but really getting into the BTS of it made me feel so much for her. Her reunion with her family was everything and she deserves the whole world.

Kiki really is beautiful. I'm really glad they chose to do UCLA who honestly maybe didn't get the coverage they deserved last year. And getting a little into the Betts stuff, damn.

I'm really hoping we get Paige, Juju and Flau'jae next year, that'll feed families for years to come!

I cackled a little bit writing that tag so I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[safely-in-vhagars-belly]

FIRE AND BLOOD: Part one: The beginning of the end. Aegon x reader, Aemond x reader (or x oc it kinda depends how you view it)

🔷Summary: You become Aegon and Aemond's plaything/pet and have a sexual secret relationship with them.

🔷Author's note: Rebranded for redacted

Wordcount: A tame under 1k

🔷Warnings: Forshadowing, Aemond being a terrifying mf but nothing else yet. No smut or gore, violence.

Brienne's pov/You pov

'Another time,' you tell the prince next to you. Prince Aegon Targaryen tries to pronounce the book sentences you high marked with inkt but he clearly is in no mood to learn.

He is an diffcult student to motivate. You know that by now. You have been teaching him a year now. 'Do you think I'll make a good king?' He randomly blurs out. You clutch the book you are holding. You bite your lip.

'Your sister will be queen, if the gods are willing. You will never need to worry about sitting the throne.'

'Good. I dont like being prince. I suck at it.'

'Well, maybe this is your chance to show yourself that you dont suck at high Valyrian!' You wiggle the book excitedly and silly like taunting a dog with a biscuit. Aegons eyes roll but he has a pleasant sincere smile on his lips. 'Come on, let's get to work. We started in chapter four and you did very well last time so-'

'I didn't bother to read it. Without you, reading is so boring. you make it more fun. You sparkle when you are reading, you know. It's very intriguing to watch.' You wanted to groan but feel your cheeks turn warmer and warmer. Intriguing. That is a first.

'Am I making you blush, my lady? I didnt mean to make my teacher uncomfortable. It would be bad for our very professional relationship if any of this-' You dont let him finish.

'You idiot,' you hiss at him before smacking him with the book. Aegon chuckles before running off. You take after him, not giving up that easy. 'You-' Another shadows falls over you and Aegon. His smile disappears and you know very well by now that his walls are back up high. You quickly compose yourself, bowing your head to the other prince who also lives, no you are certain, haunts this castle.

'Prince Aemond.' The much younger yet more serious prince looks at you and his older brother, chasing each other like children playing tag.

If Aegon is blood then he is fire. 'Brother. Mother wants to see you. It's important.' He ignores you, mostly for now. You feel a bit embarrassed you were seen hitting the other prince.

Aegon pretends to read one of the books you picked out for him. He does not like learning but he hates seeing his mother even more. 'I'm busy, brother. I am learning. educating myself. Training my brain.' He picks up the book. Its upside down.

You sigh and force yourself to smile at the other prince. He doesnt even pretend to smile back. 'Aegon, I think you should leave. Your mother is probably worried enough as it is. Good work today, your accent is getting better and better.'

You hear Aemonds low mocking chuckle. It makes you boil with rage and you want to hit another prince with a book. 'You wanted something?' You demand, when Aegon left the room.

He sits down in Aegons chair and starts reading the books you picked out for him. 'I read these when I was four.' He remarks.

You take the books from him and but them back in the shelves. Hastily and nervously. You dont know why but something is off about him. 'Hm. I might take on some Valyrian lessons myself. I see its quite the experience.' Expierence. What does he mean with that?

Probably just mocking Aegon. You hope. 'Funny, you are fluent. Your brother needs it.' You learned it from your mother when you were much younger than both Aegon or Aemond.

The prince laughs. 'He doesn't deserve to learn such a beautiful language. He is a idiot.'

'Everyone who isnt you is a idiot in your eyes..' eyes. You curse yourself. 'I only meant that nearly no one can accomplish as much as you, my prince.'

He leans back in the chair. 'Its because most people don't have to struggle the way I did.' You sigh but carefully compose yourself. struggle? He has people to warm his bath for him. He has people to dress him. He has a house with hundreds chambers and has more gold than he can spend. What did he struggle with? His one eye that his nephew took? Something very common among common people? Is he really that upset the gods took it from grating him a dragon?

You wont tell him, but you are worried about Aegons process. You worry very much. Every step he takes in the right direction is two steps back in another subject. It's like he cant remember what he learned not even a week ago. ''He is not remembering it, is he?' He smiles smugly. Happy with his brother struggling and being miserable. 'All that drinking killed whatever was left of his brain.'

'Your brother is fine-' He slams his fist on the table and you flinch, unintended. He gets up.

'Maybe you should stop flirting with him. He is not learning anything if he is distracted.' He says, staring you down like you are an enemy on the battle field that he cant wait to slay.

'Well, i-'

'I'm serious about taking up lessons. Who knows what you might learn me. And what I might learn you in return.' He says. 'I'm a better student than Aegon. Whatever you teach me, I remember. And whatever I teach you well: You'll remember that was well.' He leans in closer.

'Unless you are fond of punishment of course.'

[we-were-angels-once]

anyone else a little frustrated/mad w rue? acofaf 9 spoilers under cut

it’s frustrating that rue is spinning honor and loyalty to be a bad thing. its not. its one of the best things about hob. the only real problem of it is that hob is loyal to the wrong people, but he’s so beaten down by them that he doesnt realize it. it frustrates me that rue just expects hob to see that when hes only even been introduced to the possibility of that idea a few days ago.

rue has said themself that they value hobs loyalty/honor before. and obviously rue would value hobs loyalty/honor if they were together. that was never the problem. so dont make this something its not.

it’s frustrating that rue is expecting hob to follow their same exact timeline. it’s frustrating that rue is looking at a man still struggling to find out where he belongs and can be so coarse with him about not being there yet when he’s still only just begin. it’s frustrating that rue has the audacity to boil it down to hob caring only about his TITLE to do anything, when everyone knows it has NEVER been about that for hob.

it’s frustrating that rue is brushing off the grabalba/apollo marriage when, not only do i think it was severely uncalled for for them to do what they did, but that they know that hob has been hellbent the entire time on righting that wrong. they should KNOW how deep of a fucking cut that would be. and to brush it off? even worse, to say “im not having this conversation right now” ???

honestly, even if hob had gotten the letter, he’d still be in the same fucking position, and he’s right for it too. “you love me and i love you but you have massively betrayed me and hidden a secret you knew my assignment here hinged on.” rue has the fucking audacity to say that hob is fighting for the wrong people— people who dont care for him— when all along, rue has been lying to him this whole time? what, now hob should fight for YOU? because YOU’RE so much better??

look. i was a massive ruehob, and this episode has left me lost. there were big parts of that conversation i was very upset and very much so didnt want them to end up together anymore. i think there’s definitely room for fixing it, but a lot of what rue/oscar said i found very uncalled for and disturbing. im finding people in the tag be here and there about it, but i really think rue is far in the wrong here and it upsets me. this was supposed to be the person who could finally care for hob like he deserved, and instead he’s been betrayed on every front. i dont blame him if he hunkers down even further than he already was. i sincerely hope this all can be remedied somehow and they can end up together in a way that feels right and good. but man… i really am lost here now. i dont know what to feel.

[acidic--citrus]

i didnt want to BLAST op in my last rb with an absolute Wall of tags on like, a two digit note post ,

so im just gonna.... hurl them here

CW: personal vent post, really negative thoughts look away ^^ i just have to get this written down somewhere or else ill Explode, Actually.

its been almost a year since the unfair firing incident at pr//oject moon, and for the last few, like... Months, at this point, ive just been reeeeeeaaaaaally thinking hard about the entire thing, processing overtime how bad it really was, what its a symptom of, and, looking towards the future, how i want to move on from it

coincidentally its also now a little over the 1 year mark of my getting into the p//jm games, and what used to bring me out of my depressive catatonic states has now thrown me Ass First into a Series of them

what i thought was a unique world and a lovely, hopeful narrative, i now realize was just a house-of-mirrors-esque distorted reflection of the world and society we live in

i thought they had a heartfelt and sincere underlying message in their works about humanity and connection, but with how pjm handled the real life situation and INSTANTLY bent its knees and prioritized its money-making incel fanbase over the safety and wellbeing of a Real Human Employee who had NOTHING to do with the situation, its obvious that all of it was hollow to begin with, and now just comes across as "what if capitalism.... but with cool people fighting in cool ways,.. AND monsters!!!" and i just can Not take anything the story tries to meaningfully say (if it ever was in the first place) seriously now

its all showy fireworks that fizzle out fast with nothing substantial behind them: eye candy, fanservice

and that entire ordeal, or rather reviewing the entire ordeal in my head and thinking about it agonizingly over the course of many months, really hammered it in for me that theres no way any form of entertainment out there is worth the livelihood of a real life human being

(and this is where pjm stops being as relevant, but is definitely where all of the next stuff stemmed from)

which got me thinking even further; if no happiness built off of the unhappiness of another is worth it, why does the world at large look the way it is now? call it disillusionment or waking up from my naivety, but i, keeping in mind the worlds other issues at large, like how everyone is fully and wholly documenting how a genocide is going down and the world just merely watches it unfold, realized that Ah. Truly we are So Fucked

i began spiraling further, thinking more and more and began buckling under the weight of problems too unfathomably large for anyone to tackle by themselves—could any of these even be solved within my lifetime as we are now?

to wrap things up, basically its become so so so incredibly hard to want to keep living

(that doesnt necessarily mean i want to die though; i personally make a distinction between the two)

its so hard to wake up feeling like theres something worth doing anymore

create art and make things? its hard to do that when your wrist hurts and youre so slow at everything and it feels like time passes by at x2 speed for you but everyone else seems fine and able to function and you cant help but wish you could hard reset your brain </3 its getting hard to think and articulate and imagine and process and its so discouraging for me.. i find myself wishing there were 36 hours in the day to compensate.....

enjoy a game or novel? its hard when every flicker of happiness feels so frivolous n trivial and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. like okay so i was reading like. last night, right? and everytime like something idk funny or cute happened i was instantly hit with a reality check and became insantly depressed. like what is that. thats so unfair. pit felt like i was going through moodswings in x18 speed. i could Feel the mania brain chemical get to me and then id be Ass Blasted with cortisol and brain numbness not a goddamn second later. what the fuck do you do then ?

i know ill live and all, as when i imagine myself dead or dying it doesnt feel quite right

but being comfortable and living comfortably like this, in my room, safe from the outside, that doesnt sit right with me either

eating is hard. sleeping is hard. i dont want a body. i dont want to have to take care of it. i think i want to disperse into bubbles

maybe ill start writing or something, as words seem to be what im running to for solace nowadays (<- balls deep in webnovel) since HHHHOIAUUURRGGGHHHHH...... WHY must i be an artist why must i be afflicted with the maddening urge to create at all times. i think a lobotomy would fix me

hhhaaaaaahhhh on the topic of creating and art, drawn art specifically, uuuugggghhhhhhhhh drags hand down face FUCK.... SOMETIMES I SEE A REALLY GOOD PIECE OF ART AND IM STRUCK WITH INSPIRATION AND AWE AND RESPECT AND IM LIKE ugghhhhh fuckkkk not AGAIN..... if i dont get something out of these hands right tf now...... and then i beat myself up mentally over not acting on that urge and letting it pass over me because uhm.... WRIST PROBLEMS!!!!! ^^ !!!!! + BRAIN SLOW (and i dont want to be reminded of that fact)!!!!!! ^^

[illusionarywitness]

some of yall are like “nonbinary people arent Just A Third Gender” which IS TRUE but then go on to say “which means that all orientations besides aro/ace de facto include them always” which just doesnt make sense.

like there’s a post that was going around that LITERALLY SAYS “if youre exclusively attracted to women [it says that, im not misrepresenting them saying “lesbian”] then you can be attracted to nonbinary people” which. no. that means youre not exclusively attracted to women because get this, not being ““the third gender”“ doesn’t mean we’re a binary gender either.

don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad for gay men and lesbians to be attracted to nonbinary ppl and not be compelled to change their labels (unless of course it’s in spite of a partner’s comfort but i digress). it’s also not bad if someone wants to change their label because hey, that’s more than one gender!

i dont know like at all how ppl got that from “don’t put all nonbinary ppl in a Third gender box”. theyre two barely related ideas and it just grinds my gears how often i see people acting like point one leads to point two

tldr: YES nonbinary people arent “”a third gender”“ NO that doesnt mean all attraction inherently includes us always + if you Think those points arent connected like at all

idrc if you rb or not but binary people dont commit mouth foot

[jisungbark-blog]

lmao im regressing again

[herotune]

Hello there! I wanted to ask you why you don't want that BBC Sherlock fans interact with your Art? I'm a BBC fan, but I'm a fan of canon and other Sherlock interpretations too. Furthermore, I don't want to offend you, so maybe I can understand.

ok so disclaimer at the start: im not. mad at you for sending this ask; if i sound angry explaining this its because the show breaks my heart and the things eggs benedict has said in interviews make my blood boil but like i do want to give u a fair explanation

also. PLEASE if anyone wants to re/blog this just dont. i dont want this to take off in any way i just. want to explain why the show makes me uncomfortable.

i did kind of explain in the tags on this post: [link] but i think i need to fix my theme bc i dont think it shows tags on desktop so i'll explain again. i actually have. a lot to say about it and im gonna put a longer explanation under a cut but basically:

TLDR; i think both the show and its stars are really ableist homophobic and racist (mr cummerbund is especially monstrously ableist and even if you dont read the rest of the post i do highly recommend you look up what hes said about autistic people before continuing to support the show) and i just. dont want ppl who like it interacting with me

but i also think the show itself really is. the antithesis to the original stories on all fronts and just utterly lacks the humanity and compassion the og stories were full of and changed the public perception of the character of sherlock holmes significantly for the worse.

sherlock holmes was never meant to be an asshole and is in fact consistently an incredibly sweet kind and sincere person full of compassion and consideration for others in the stories and it just breaks my heart that the b/b/c version threw everything good about the books out and made everyone think holmes was an asshole who doesnt give a shit about others when thats Never who he was in the first place.

and then all the gay baiting pisses me off bc holmes is really heavily coded as gay in the og stories imo but its hard to talk about it bc the concepts been ruined for a lot of ppl bc of the show.

and thats basically it.

and this is already. Really long but longer explanation under cut:

huge warning for ableism and homophobia here but i really REALLY hate mr eggs benedict whose name i refuse to say correctly. hes said a lot of really vile things in interviews including this idiotic shit about alan turing:

and this NIGHTMARISHLY ableist mess about autistic people:

both of which are from this interview: [link]

and THIS also equally nightmarishly ableist mess AGAIN about autistic people:

which is from THIS interview: [link]

i shouldnt have to explain why this is fucking horrible. as a gay man and as someone whos both autistic and adhd i find his comments like. legitimately monstrous for a lot of obvious reasons.

i shouldnt have to explain why its horrible to say that alan turing “wasnt camp” so it’s ok to not address the fact he was gay. i shouldnt have to explain why its horrible to compare autistic people to frankensteins monster or say that we’re “all about bodily functions” or that autistic ppl are permanent mental one year olds or that someone who’s brilliant can’t possibly be autistic because it’d give us “false hope.” (and calling sherlock a sociopath is a whole other can of worms idk if i can even begin to unpack)

all of this is legitimately horrible and evil on its own and if you cant understand that i really REALLY dont want u interacting with me at all and would prefer you just block me right now.

but its also really hurtful because it's really obvious to me from the og stories that holmes is both autistic and adhd. he’s actually one of the most textbook accurate complex and human depictions of someone whos autistic and adhd ive ever seen in my entire life and it just. Really hurts that the show deliberately refuses to acknowledge it and tries to take away representation we genuinely already HAVE in the books because it would give us “false hope.”

you Cannot replicate holmes as a character and his thought process without recognizing he’s both adhd and autistic. holmes has nonverbal episodes, he has intense hyperfocus and special interests (watson actually describes his interests in stuff like violins and criminology as him having made a “special study” of each and holmes describes his interest in criminology as his “special subject” at one point)

his thought process as described in the books also very much mirrors adhd “ive connected so many dots so quickly that i cant even really explain how i got here and nobody knows what im talking about because there was only one passenger on this runaway train of thought and its me and i wasnt even fully aware of the whole ride either” where like, he’ll make observations in an instant n then have to walk back and figure out how to explain things again (for example he does that a lot in the og book version of a study in scarlet)

and he does tend to take things literally quite a bit. there’s a few times in the stories (like the gloria scott and when watson gives holmes his brothers pocket watch in the sign of the four) where people will ask him to use his observational skills on them and he’ll do it to the best of his ability because he took their request completely literally n did exactly what they asked, without recognizing some of the things he was observing might be too personal or might be upsetting (and when he recognizes that he Has said something that upset them he genuinely apologizes and tries to make up for it and walks them through how he knew these things because he genuinely did not mean to upset them and actually cares about how they feel)

and this isnt even like. everything that makes it incredibly and unambiguously clear hes autistic and adhd. but this post is like so fucking long already but basically. i dont think there’s any room for doubt that he’s autistic and adhd in the og stories and its such a pervasive obvious and intrinsic part of his character that if someone can’t recognize it its usually because theyve got some incredibly awful ableist hangups about autistic and adhd people and dont think we’re human beings (like mr fucking cumberpatch)

and this isnt even getting into the horrible misogyny lesbophobia and biphobia with irene adler, the racism in episodes like the blind banker, the racist and misogynistic comments ma/rtin free/man made about lucy li/u, and all the other horrible shit associated with that show.

there’s quite a few things in some of the og stories that havent aged well bc they were written in the 1800s and i fucking hate it but like. theres still a lot of good in them and its INFURIATING and heartbreaking to me that the b/b/c had every opportunity to update the stories for the present day but they refused to and actually KEPT some of the things that hadnt aged well while simultaneously tossing out basically everything good about them.

there’s a lot about that show that i will never forgive and i could go on but im gonna. stop here bc this post is a mile long and i should maybe just make a 5 hour long video essay about it but whatever.

basically. i think if you can read all this and know all this about the show and still like it i would really rather you just. leave me alone

and since a lot of this is present in the show itself i dont really, fully believe that ppl just arent aware of the problems with it even if they hadnt read mar/tin free/man and eggs benedicts monstrous comments in interviews. like yeah yeah you can enjoy things critically but after a certain point it just. crosses a line and for me personally this show really does and i would really rather ppl who like the show just. not interact with me.

that’s all.

[cosmiclatte28]

Feeling(s) (Prince!Taeyong x guard!reader)

a/n: back with the Prince Taeyong x guard reader series... for my maple sister @charmingyong !! I really hope this makes sense... I kinda cut it short here, but I am always letting all of you continue the story or add scenes according to your imagination

PRINCE TAEYONG X GUARD READER DRABBLE COLLECTION

tagging @neopalette too :*

shine your sword, and here we go guards!!

“(y/n), make sure you keep an eye on Taeyong for the whole day. We don’t want anything bad to happen to him on his special day.” the Royal Majesty queen just ordered you your quest for this week.

You nod, not that your job ever changes. It’s always being the prince’s personal bodyguard, but this week your work is extra hard because you really have to make sure he is always near you because it’s his 21st birthday this Sunday and everything about it has to be perfect.

You order for the carriage to be prepared as the prince will be visiting the town to pick up his clothes. Well, the tailor is already old but he makes the best attire and the royal family wasn't planning to change to any tailor at the moment.

"Are you finished?" You knock on his elm wood door and step back when he opens the door still in his bathrobes

He shakes his head and points at his body "Is this what you expect me to walk around the town with?"

You grin "I don't say anything, but it you're going out like that… i am not taking the duty."

He frowns "Why?" And you chuckle "Because I'm sure the whole town girls will be running after you and I am not risking my life to die in a girl mob chasing after their bathrobe prince."

Taeyong laughs at that and walks inside the room again and you stay put in the door frame.

"Okay, just give me time to change." He walks behind the screen and you only shake your head

"5 minutes or you're buying me a drink." You close the door behind you after hearing a scream of disagreement from him.

He comes down to the grounds late and you're already waiting next to the carriage.

"You don't know how precious time is!" You mutter to him when he climbs in and sits nicely in the cabin

You follow him and sit across him. Taeyong keeps his face to the window and stare at the pretty and colorful flowers. It's spring and the road is covered with spring blooms.

“I wonder what it’s like to just sit on the green grass and stare at the pretty flowers.” his gaze shifts to you and you just give him a “seriously” look

“Um you never do that?” you ask slowly, afraid that you offend him.

Taeyong scratches his neck, suddenly shy that he has to tell you this. “So, mom doesnt want me to play under the sun for too long or I’ll have a tan and she doesnt want that.”

Your jaw falls open and you have to shut it close before Taeyong feels more offended “Pardon my rude behaviour. Well if the Majesty Queen doesn't allow you then you should listen."

He fiddles with his long sleeves and whispers "Can you take me to sit on the grass one day?"

You notice his hint of desperation and you simply nod "Yeah sure as long as there's no sun." You giggle and he groans about your attempt to sound funny. It's not.

"But hey didn't you enjoy a tea under the sun usually?" You suddenly remember the small date he made for you on your duty.

Taeyong rolls his eyes "That was tea time! With loads of food. And chairs and gosh I was not even laying down on the grass!"

You stay silent, not knowing what to answer. The ride to the town remains calm with Taeyong casually asking you about things he doesn't notice before.

With the scenery changing to houses and tiny cottages, your eyes glimmer when you finally see what life beyong the walls looks like. You never really gotten the chance to grow up here, you were sent by your family to work in the castle since a young age. They have no money to send you to school, so giving you to the castle was their best option. Though you were never sitting in a class learning numbers and ABC, you are smart enough to know you belong here and not in the castle like Taeyong.

"I wonder what it's like to live here." You whisper to yourself when you see the town girl hanging around in a market stand laughing with a commoner

Taeyong only hums, not really listening to your words as he too is intrigued by the people here.

The ride ends in front of the humble store of the best tailor. Taeyong jumps down right after you get off and knock on the door.

"I'm sorry we're late, but the prince is here." You notify the tailor's wife and she quickly opens the door for the prince to enter.

Taeyong has been here several times to get his birthday outfits. His daily outfits were usually sent directly to the castle because not much fitting were needed for that. But for special occasions they've been measuring him here and there asking him if he wants more garnish or not.

"I like this. What do you think (y/n)?" He turns his body to face you and you're baffled. You look around wishing that the tailor can just answer him or his butler can say something. But the question was directed on you and only you should answer that.

You nod "Looks very nice." That's the simple comment you made. You always remember the rule that you shouldn't be talking too much to the prince. Your job is to guard him not talk with him. And that's what all of the town also knows.

Taeyong squints his eyes, he really thinks this cloth is too plain, but if you said it's nice that's all he really needs to hear.

"The whole crowd will like you no matter what you use. You’re always the center of the attention Taeyong, why bother.” you let that out and you internally slap yourself for saying that outloud.

The young prince definitely looks surprised, so does the tailor and his butler too.

“Can I have a word with this young lady. Alone.” his voice is deep and dangerous enough. The butler and tailor quickly scurry off the room and close the door so both of you can have the private talk.

You gulp when you notice that you’re doomed. Once everyone is away, Taeyong steps closer to you and you can only keep your eyes on the ground.

“Sorry, that was not supposed to be said out loud. That slipped out of my head.” you quickly bow and keep your eyes on the ground.

Taeyong scoffs “But still you have that thought in your head. Can’t you see it” he sighs in exasperation.

You bite your lips, oh no is this how everything will end? Is he going to be mad and ask you to be thrown away from the castle. As much as you wish to know what it’s like to live in the village and town, you’re not ready yet.

He takes a seat on one of the chairs and takes off his crown. You still stand but several feets away from him. He puts his face on his hands and groans “I don’t want to have the world’s attention, yours is enough.”

You feel heat creeping up your cheeks. Why is he always playing with your heart? He has never clarified what his intention is, flirting and playing around with your emotions. Were you too carried away by his words, what if he only sees you as his guard and he’s just playful to you?

You know you stand no chance to be his significant other, maybe the prince is even banned to think of being interested in someone not a nobel or a princess. You should bury this butterfly and tingly feeling down before it blooms into flowers and suffocates you figuratively and literally. Well who knows how you’ll be punished if the court finds out what’s between you and the prince.

“Please stop whatever this is,” you plead to him “I am supposed to be your guard and you’re the prince. You should be looking for the crowd’s attention and not mine.”

His eyes shake and his shoulder feels heavy, why should she come up with that at moments like this. “Please call them back, I don’t know why you’re always saying that, but can’t you for once think of my feelings.”

You want to lash back and say well what about my feelings, but you keep quiet and do as he says.

He returns to his friendly self, he sounds like nothing happened between both of you. He orders his requests upon the garnish with enthusiasm in his voice. He’s so excited about designing his clothes and of course about the next fitting schedule.

You shake your feelings aside and focus back on your duty. You wait for him outside of the shop when he is bidding his final farewell to the tailor.

“We have time before going back to the castle. I am sorry if I snapped at you earlier,” he tries to reach out for your hands when both of you are already sitting facing each other in the carriage. “It was the tension. I know your feelings are also at stake, or you were thinking I am making fuss out of this.” he chuckles nervously because what if you don’t like him more than what he imagined?

You still pull your hands away and tuck it on your thighs “Sorry, we can’t afford someone to see us holding hands. Come on you’re the prince and I am your personal guard. My job is to only protect you and make sure you’re alive and breathing.”

Taeyong wants to deny all of that but his tongue didn’t move at all when his eyes catch the sign of a bar. “A drink! I owe you a drink.” his eyes glimmer.

You look at him with a big question mark “I was just kidding about that.”

But he shakes his head “I owe you one, let me make up all my ignorance with one drink. What do you say tonight when the guards change shift, meet me in the horse stable?”

You want to say no, and reject his offer. What he’s doing can put him in big trouble. First, breaking the rules of going out at night, second sneaking out, third sneaking out with you for a drink. But once again with his big eyes and sincere smile, all you can do is gulp and nod your head.

“I promise I’ll get you to spill all of your secrets tonight,” Taeyong speaks in his heart as a small smirk appears on his godly face.

Next : expect to find what the “secret” is and maybe some fun with Taeyong but of course angst. If you forget about the secret, head to third post

[nlights37]

Fandom Wank Story Hour - Jonerys Edition

This week:  The Case of the Fic Thieves (?)

Hello, gang!

Are you ready for a story?  It’s a good one.  It’s full of angst and drama (mostly self-inflicted, wild allegations based on pure speculation, all sorts of fun stuff.  I bet some of you know it, but this post is for everyone who doesnt.)

But first?  An apology.

It’s hard to admit when you’re wrong.  Especially when you’re so, so sure you’re right.  Maybe it’s just jumping to the wrong conclusions.  Maybe it’s intentional, and you’re just looking for something to be offended by.  Maybe it’s just a mistake and you took someone else’s word for it.  Lots of possibilities.

This apology, however, is not one I’m owed, but one I owe, and in the spirit of acknowledging that it sucks but it’s the right thing to do, here’s mine:

A few months back an author in this particular group I know thought someone posted a fic on ao3 that copied her fic.  Now, immediately, I bet you can guess how it went down.  OUTRAGE!  SCANDAL!  And even yours truly was not immune.  I hopped right on the groupthink train without even reading the fic, just the summary.  In the end, that fic WAS stolen, not from Alice, but from another fandom.

I was wrong, though, to jump to conclusions and take other people’s word on something I should’ve checked out myself, and I’m sorry that I did it.  Truly.

It is that ironic mistake of mine that leads us to today, and other allegations of theft, that stem from some in this fandom and were directed first at @magalidragon.  Was she accused to stealing actual fics?  No.  Goalpost shift.  Now the fandom crimes for which you may be accused, with or without any actual merit, are moodboard posts (for example, apparently it was idea theft when Mags posted a Bones AU moodboard idea too closely to Amy’s Halloween Medical Examiner AU), fic teases that use the wrong word choice, or even just suggesting that you have an idea that is even remotely adjacent to anything any of the Tumblrina chat has written.  That’s what’s going on.  And even though this has apparently gone on for months in the minds of some folks, they never said a word, just unloaded and made all sorts of accusations all at once.

You know, bullying.  A good old fashioned pile-on, done in an open chat, instead of privately.  But okay.

And not a hot week after the other authors Mags mistakenly thought were friends accused her of stealing ideas from all of them, and how they couldn’t talk about fic ideas in their chat for fear Mags would steal them, we get to the collab fic that was teased on Wednesday.

The crime?  Referencing eligible lords for Dany to marry as ‘bachelors’.

Cue all hell breaking loose when all of a sudden Mags and I are both rotten fic thieves out to steal a fic idea from @muttpeeta (This might link for you but it doesn’t for me since I’m apparently blocked lol), her Bachelor fic.

Oh, the accusations flew.  In fact, they were so rampant from @stilesssolo that I reached out to both Amy AND Sabrina like “WTF?  You actually think I’d steal from you?”

At least Amy had the nuts to answer with no before she blocked me, but the drama continues.  Now it’s posting as though the very same people who were out for blood just a few days ago, ready to tell anyone and everyone in vague, passive aggressive posts, how they are the victims of this mean old fandom.

This shit’s gotta stop, because it’s not the first time this has happened.  We all bitch and complain about this fandom and all the drama and all the bullshit but it’s not gonna get better if you are complaining on one hand then actively seeking out drama or things to get offended by or upset about on the other.

If we want things to improve, and genuinely want this fandom to be a better place, then maybe we should start by admitting when we’re wrong, and maybe, just maybe, giving people the benefit of the doubt, or a little grace.  As authors and content creators, it kinda has to start with us, yeah?

Let’s try to make 2021 a little less contentious.  Fanfic isn’t a competition.  We can all exist in our own little niches and never have to have friction again, but that means maybe taking a look inside, too, and seeing how we are all contributing to the general atmosphere.

I know I’m capable of that.  I hope my fellow writers, whether we are friends or we never speak at all, can do that to.  I would have preferred to have handled all this privately, and tried to, but when people block you so they don’t have to face lying about you or accusing you of shit, and still try to milk the pity and act like they’ve been wronged when they were the guilty party, I gotta say, it just doesn’t sit right with me.

I don’t even expect any of the ones responsible will apologize to me or Mags, and that’s okay.  There’s no rule that says we all have to hold hands and sing songs together.  We’re still gonna keep writing fics, and trying to have some fun, and give you guys out there the same sort of stuff you’ve come to enjoy from us, until we get sick of it or GRRM finally drops that new book :P

Until then, I very sincerely hope that, if nothing else, we can all try to be a little more mature about things.  If you genuinely think someone’s wronged you, TALK TO THEM.  There’s no need to make everything a public spectacle - but you can be damn sure that if you start it that way that’s what you’re gonna get.  Being too scared to directly tag people you’re accusing of stuff doesn’t protect you from that.

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Title: The Perks Of Santo Padre II

Gif credits to @angels-reyes & @nerd4music

Requested on wattpad

Hope you all enjoy

Happy reading dollies

Tag list @ilovetaquitosmmmm. @twistnet. @nocturnalherb16. @jesseswartzwelder. @leaalfred. @mayans-mc. @baylishh. @ifoundmyhappythought

Don't you have some where to be, Oceteva"? Angel growls as he sees Nestor holding your hand when he came up to the table.

"No, I'm free". Nestor smirked as he sat down beside you.

"Well, you're not welcomed here. So you need to get the fuck out". Angel sat down in the other seat beside you.

"The only way I'm leaving is with Y/N, back to my place". The club around him laughed and whistled. Angel wasn't so happy about that, as he balled up his fist.

You chuckled under your breath, shaking your head. You couldn't believe that two guys liked you. You, of all people they could be with and they were fighting over you. Mind blowing.

"So, Y/N. What do you do for fun"? Nestor asked, his hand lingering on your thigh. Angel's hand on your other thigh.

"I watch movies and hang with friends. I like to paint and see the countryside. Listen to music and dance horribly". You giggled cover your mouth with your hand.

"I bet you dance wonderful". Nestor spoke with such a maturity to him that Angel didn't really have.

"Why you do that"? Angel interrupted yours and Nestors moment.

You were taken back by Angel's question, figuring you did something wrong. "I'm sorry". You lowered your head.

"Why do you cover up that beautiful smile of yours". He spoke sweetly and moved your hand from your mouth. A smile crept across it as your cheeks blushed.

"I dont like my smile".

"It's beautiful. Just like you. Dont hide it. Especially from me". You nodded your head.

"What time is it"? You asked everyone looking at their phones.

"Almost midnight. Why"? Angel said.

"I have to get home. Thanks for the drink and the company but I must get going. Hank will you take me home, please"?

"Yeah". He got up from his seat.

"I can take you home if you'd like"? Angel said before Nestor.

"Thanks but Hank brought me and I'll be leaving with him". You say walking with Hank to the door. Turning around and waving to the two men sitting on the couch.

A few days later, you were coming out to your car when you noticed two dozen roses and a gift bag sitting on the table on the porch.

You chuckled and shook your head. These guys were seriously going to war trying to win your heart.

"To Y/N, I hope you have a lovely day. Love Angel". You read the card of the flowers.

Opening the gift bag, you found a box with a sapphire necklace with a card that read. "Thinking of you. I hope you had a good night. I know I did. I cant wait to see you again. Sincerely Nestor". The necklace was beautiful but way to expensive. Both cost alot of money. You didn't want men spending that much on you.

Grabbing the flowers and bag you headed to your car for work. Your friends will have field day when they see this.

"Girl. Marry the one with the necklace. He has money". She squealed as with laughter.

"No". You simply told her.

"No, date the guy that sent you flowers. Its sweet and doesnt go overboard. And doesn't make him seem like hes trying to hard for attention". Your other friend said.

"I dont know what to do. They're both great guys and they're really cute. Nestor seems so mysterious and grown up. Angel is funny but kind of a child too".

"What's wrong with a man having a little child in him"? You and your other friend looked at each other and laughed.

"You know what I mean, damn. It means he knows how to have fun and make you laugh. Not be so uptight and rules rules rules all the time. Live alittle".

"You're right. I guess I just have to get to know them better". You huffed as you saw the stack of paper work in front of you. "We should get to work. We have tons of stuff to get to before tonight". They all agreed and headed to work. The whole day Angel and Nestor were on your mind. Maybe it was like that saying you talk about them and they appear.

"Cutey at table five". Your friend said as you turned around. There sat Angel with some of the guys you met the other night at your table.

"Hey guys, what are you doing here"? You asked oddly.

"We came here for the big event". Angel said looking you up and down.

"I didn't know you were on the VIP list".

"I got people in high places". Angel sent you a wink.

"Right, the waiter should be here to take your drink order. I have to get back to work". Angel grabbed your hand before you left.

"Did you like the flowers"?

"They're beautiful. Thank you". You sweetly smiled and walked off.

Letting out a puff of air you were holding in. You walked by another table and got a glimpse of those tight braids. Nestor was here as well.

"Nestor, what are you doing here"?

"I'm on the list. My boss gave me a bonus and this was the place to be".

"Oh alright. Well it was nice seeing you again. I have to get back to work".

Nestor took your hand in his. "Enjoy the necklace"?

"Its beautiful. Thanks but way to expensive. I cant keep it. After I'm done here I want you to take it. Get your money back".

"I dont want it back. I want to see it around your neck. You can wear it on our date".

You heard the scoff behind you. It was Angel with his arms crossed over his chest.

"What the hell are you doing here? I didnt know they let trash in the place". Nestor chuckled under his breath as he saw it was Angel.

"Well they let little bitches in like you so they must be letting everyone in".

They both growled at each other. If you weren't in the middle of them they would have thrown punches at each other.

"Guys, stop. Not here. They'll call the cops on you".

They both laughed. "We own the cops, sweetheart". Angel grinned.

"Fine. Kill each other. I dont care. But I'm not sticking around to find out who won. Grow up both of you". You spat and walked off.

"You stand no chance with her". Nestor shoved Angel.

"I saw her first. It's my club so I have dibs". Angel shoved Nestor into the table. Glass being tossed to the floor.

They started punching and hitting on each other. Angel was throw on a table. Nestor was kicked into a group of people standing nearby.

Security tried breaking them up pulling them apart. You came running up.

"You idiot's. I never want to see you two ever again. Get them out of here". You yelled. The guards dragging them out.

You turned around about to go back to work, you saw your boss waiting for you. With a disappointing look on his face. You knew you were fired and it was all because of Angel and Nestor being children.

[addoration]

anyways i should have done this earlier but the fact is that i didnt, so here it is now! 

i would like to sincerely thank a lot of people. you have supported me and helped me through a time that was hard for everyone. this includes everyone on the botw writers discords that im in, but it is especially about my friends in the his dark materials server. you have really kept me going! when i started the hdm server, it took a little time for it to grow and i was worried that it would flop, but it didn’t! and now its absolutely filled to the brim with wonderful, lovely people who continue to support and love me. im in awe of you all. so thank you, and happy new year to everyone. i hope 2021 brings you all happiness!

some people i want to individually thank: 

@avasteriscus and @sleepyhades: thank you for being great friends and being so supportive in my botw endeavours! i haven’t forgotten about you despite not being active on the server much any more; in fact, i think about you both daily! i hope this new year brings you both joy and good health <3 

@thenightisfullofangels: god, vienna, where do i even begin? thank you for being the best mod that i could ever ask for! and thank you for inspiring me continuously, all the time! you are the reason i started writing for b/b and the reason i will continue writing for them. i live for your live-comments on my fics and for your b/b longfic. your writing astounds me every time i read it, you always leave me speechless. i love you very much! <3 

@illumimorow: ro, ily! we haven’t spoken as much recently because ive been swamped with work but we’ve had some absolutely great conversations and i’m missing your headcanons! when i’ve finished my essays, hopefully you’ll see more of me!!! <3 

@milfcoulter: you’re hilarious avery, im so pleased you’re in my server! thank you for making me laugh so often, its been much needed! you make the server a brighter place and im so thankful for you!! <3 your fics are wonderful and your art is wonderful and im so thankful for your continued support and love!

@rhaized: firstly i want to say that im SO thankful that you joined my server and that you’re enjoying it there! it means a lot to me. youre the whole reason that we had a fic exchange! so i want to thank you for that too! your mary/marisa gives me life <3 

@i-was-bored-so-this-happened: rae, rae, rae, you’re quite literally a ray of sunshine! you really brighten up the server with your jokes and sun personality, and im so thankful you’re here! your edits are sooo cool (you always get the colours just right!) and i would DIE for kit! i love all the little snippets of her we get to see and i hope you will continue to share that with us! <3

@viawrites-andacts: via, you are possibly the sweetest person ever. if ever there was a human being made entirely of goodness and kindness, it’s you! your support and love has meant the world to me and i adore all the asks youve sent over the past couple of months reminding me of your love, because sometimes i need that. im so, SO thankful for you, i couldn’t possibly express how much! <3

@circe-s and @bunnydearest: my wonderful penpals! thank you so much for agreeing to exchange letters with me, i love it so much! i know i havent replied to your last letters (im swamped in school work at the moment!) but hopefully i’ll get them out to you by the end of the month! thank you for being around for a chat whenever ive been down and needed someone to talk to. youre like big siblings to me <3 

@dustasterisms: it’s not letting me tag you audrey but i hope you see this nonetheless! im so so happy for you! i’m sorry ive been a bit absent but hopefully we can continue to be friends! you’re going to have such a wonderful life, i admit im a little jealous but it doesnt diminish the little sun that glows inside of me whenever i think of how happy you must be! i adore you, you know youre like a big sibling to me! <3 

thank you all for your continued support and love, it means more than you could ever know. im so thankful for all of you! at risk of sounding like a broken record repeating myself over and over, i hope that this year brings you all happiness and good health to you and yours, because you all deserve it. you’re all so kind and good to me and all i can do is thank you all profoundly and hope you know how much i appreciate you. so, thank you, and here’s to another year!! <3 

[shhh-no-ones-home]

secrets (2/2) izzy stradlin x reader

+++++++++

part 1 part 2

tour is over, its been about two months since it ended. you all are finally back to your own places in LA and youve been back and forth with izzy ever since, spending much more time with him as well as all the gnr guys. the aftermath finally caught up with you though.

song: forgive me mother by the relentless

tag list: @cynic-spirit @satans-arse

+++++++++

"hey mike can i ask you a question?"

i looked over at duff who wasnt really paying attention. i was hoping if i used his real name he would understand i had something important to say. it didnt. he kept moving his fingers against his bass, strumming it and nodding his head back and forth.

"mikey?"

i asked again but still nothing.

"Micheal!"

i practically yelled and he looked up at me shocked.

"jeez y/n cant you see im busy? what?"

i huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, sinking further into the couch.

"i have a question."

he looked over at me like 'really?'

"okay?"

he said unamused.

"do you think im a good person?"

i said a little shy. he drew his brows together before setting his bass down.

"of course, youre like a sister to me."

he said and i shook my head.

"thats not what i meant."

he looked at me a little concerned.

"wheres all this coming from?"

he asked, sitting back and really looking at me. i shrugged.

"i have a secret that i really want to tell you but im scared."

he placed his hand gently on my thigh, squeezing it.

"you know you can talk to me about anything but if its to much you dont have to."

i nodded.

"duffy i-"

i closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. then the front door swung open, snatching my attention. iz and axl both walked in, izzy sending me a weird look noticing duffs hand still on my leg. they both walked down the hallway away from us.

"ill tell you later."

i said, standing and walking to the kitchen.

"okay."

he said softly, watching me leave. i stepped behind the wall for a second and took a deep breath, hearing him strum his bass again. if i couldnt even tell duff, how the hell was i supposed to talk to izzy about this. i walked slowly to the fridge and looked in it, frowning.

"god, do we have anything here other than alcohol?"

i complained, slamming the door shut.

"its never been a problem before."

izzy said sternly, making me jump as he watched me from across the room sipping his beer. i hadnt really noticed him there when i walked in and was wondering if he had really been there that long. i could have swore he went to the back room with axl. i shook my head of the thought and sat down at the table.

"maybe i want something different for once. is that a problem?"

i asked, picking at the doily under the napkin holder. he shrugged and sat across from me, crossing one leg over the other.

"i guess not."

he kind of snapped back. i frowned at him.

"you okay iz?"

he seemed a little off but then again maybe i was just projecting my own feelings onto him.

"yeah im great, why do you ask?"

he said a little coldly and i drew my brows, looking down at the table. i knew we were a secret and all but he didnt have to be mean about it. hed never been like this with me before.

"i dont know, you just seem a little mad."

i said softly, not wanting to actually anger him. he took a long sip of his beer.

"nope just ready to be alone i guess."

he sent me a knowing look and i immediately knew what he wanted. part of me wanted it to but i had more pressing matters to attend to. besides, duff and ax where still here and we wouldnt be able to get away with much, specially not the way he made me scream the last few times.

"alone doesnt sound like a bad idea."

i said back, noting the glimmer of hope in his eyes as he smirked at me, taking another drink.

"hey, slash called and we're gonna meet him and steven to eat, you two coming?"

duff said, poking his head into the kitchen.

"uh no im good, im not hungry."

i said looking over at him and he nodded.

"how bout you iz?"

he side nodded.

"no, ill stay here with y/n, we can go grab something later."

duff nodded once.

"okay."

he said disappearing behind the wall again. i thought for a second before standing and walking to the doorway, watching him and axl leave, waving goodbye before he closed the door. then i felt a looming behind me and it didnt take long for his hands to find their way to my hips.

"so, alone time..."

he said softly, leaning down and nuzzling his nose into my neck. i sighed out as he began kissing there, his thumbs rubbing circles into my sides. then, without warning he spun me around and connected our lips, kissing me deeply. i wrapped my one arm around his shoulders before remembering what i really needed to do and pushed him away.

"wait."

i breathed and he moved in for another kiss.

"i said wait."

i smiled at him, free hand firmly against his chest.

"c'mon, i missed you."

he protested kissing my cheek a few times, slowly moving to my neck.

"i have something to tell you first."

he hummed against me, his hands making their way to my ass and sliding into my back jean pockets. my eyes went wide as he looked at me a little confused, pulling what was in there out. my heart rate increased as he looked down at it with his brows furrowed.

"surprise?"

i said carefully, trying to study him. he just stared at it for a second, not letting me go.

"wait, y/n what is this?"

he looked up at me. i cleared my throat, feeling his hand remove itself from my waist as he held the picture with both hands now.

"what does it look like?"

he looked down at it again then back up at me and his face fell.

"this isnt what i think it is right? you arent?"

i scratched the back of my neck nervously.

"it is, and i am."

his mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish. his hand found its way into his hair, his eyes getting wide as he stumbled back.

"wait."

he said shaking his head.

"i need to process this for a second."

i sent him an odd look.

"izzy are you okay?"

he shook his head no and went back to the table, sitting down and staring at the photo.

"youre... pregnant."

he said slowly. i walked to him and placed my hand gently on his shoulder.

"yep."

i said a little worried now.

"who's is it?"

he asked looking up at me. i sent him a look.

"do you really need to ask?"

he let out a staggered breath and looked back down at the photo sitting on the table.

"so it is mine."

he affirmed with himself and nodded a few times, very slowly. he turned his head back to me and of course my stomach was eye level with him. he looked up at me for a second before wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my stomach, never once breaking eye contact.

"i know ive never said it before cause we are so on the down low we are basically nonexistent but i love you. so much."

he said sincerely, standing up and placing his hands firmly at my back, pulling me closer to him. i smiled at him, tears stinging my eyes.

"i love you too Jeffrey."

i said softly, placing my hand against his cheek. he picked me up quickly and sat me on the table, leaning down and kissing me deeply.

"what the fuck?"

i heard and both our attention snapped to the kitchen doorway, duff standing there with a shocked expression on his face.

"i thought you were getting dinner with slash."

i said, eyes wide.

"i forgot my wallet. and hey! i thought you two were just friends!"

he torted back.

"not anymore."

izzy said, holding the picture of the sonogram up.

"im gonna be a dad."

he said endearingly, looking back down at me with a wide smile across his lips.

"youre pregnant?!"

duff practically screamed, walking into the kitchen and taking the picture from izzy. i nodded.

"thats what i wanted to tell you earlier."

he looked up at me, a distressed look on his face.

"my fake sister is pregnant with the child of my bands guitarist."

he said unbelievably, making me giggle.

"duffy its not a big deal."

he looked at me like i was crazy

"not a big deal? youre pregnant! this is life changing!"

"wait, y/n's pregnant?"

i heard slash say, the rest of the band coming into view behind him. i face palmed, making izzy laugh as duff moved to sit in the chair, looking over the sonogram again.

"alright, since everyone's here now, yes i am pregnant."

i said, looking over slash, axl, and steven as they walked into the kitchen. slash took the sonogram from duff and looked down at it, duffs fingers tangling in his messy blonde hair.

"who's the father?"

slash asked looking over at me, izzy still stood between my legs, looking smug as ever. he was still waiting for an answer though so i just pointed to iz.

"no."

he said, shocked.

"congrats."

steve said, walking over and half hugging me the best he could with izzy still in the way.

"thanks."

i said smiling at him. izzy faked hurt and frowned.

"hey, i had a part in this too."

he protested, axl coming over and slapping him on the back.

"oh we know. you dog!"

i laughed and hid my face in my hands.

"ya know, we were having a nice moment. what happened to you all getting dinner together?"

they all looked around at each other and shrugged.

"couldnt decide who would buy so we tried to pool together cash but duff left his wallet here. we came back to get it, he was taking too long so we came in to investigate why and now we all know the big news."

axl narrated.

"now i feel like you two have to come with us, as a celebration dinner."

slash said. i looked over at duff who still seemed like he was having a crisis.

"what do you say iz? celebratory 'we're expecting' dinner?"

he nodded, kissing me gently.

"id love that."

[feely-touchy]

hey id just like to say, i hope this doesnt come off as weird or stalky but ive been reading your poetry near daily for a while now and it is honestly the highlight of my day. it is astoundingly beautiful, rich with thought provoking metaphors and statements and expressions, it at least brings me to tears every time i see it. you are a shockingly underrated artist, thank you for putting your wonderful work out into the world. 🌟

Not weird or stalky at all!!! It's incredibly sweet! It's the most encouraging and kind message I've ever gotten about my poetry, really! I always read everyone's tags when they reblog my work and it's always very warming. It means the world that my poetry connects with you. My poetry is all very sincere and close to my heart so I hope that it keeps reaching you in a loving way. I appreciate you reading my stuff so much! This really is the highlight of my day tbh. 💗

[seijch]

hi im about to spam u (so sorry) but ive been too scared to read doomsday until now and im so glad i finally did becasue dude. Dude. its so much. "It’s as the sky bleeds from orange to pale blue that it hits." i loveeee how you incorperated such small moments like the hot chocolate and the ily + i know... be even here just the thought of your Last Sunrise is heartbreaking, but to /realize/ your own end coming in that moment, especially watching the soft sunrise... oof.

HI!!! omg when you sent this i was like . abt to sleep but i read this before i did and went irl 🥺🥺 and then also passed out before i could formulate a response sjfksdfds

anyway!! my response to your asks (i hope i got them all but!!) will be under the cut bc i dont know how to shut up ❤

a lot of the way the interactions in doomsday unfold are honestly BECAUSE tsukki and the reader are (i mean first of all, theyre tsukki and the reader with all that comes with) fully aware that:

they have abt a full day of life left

theres nothing that can be done to elongate that time or avoid death altogether

its not like some young adult novel where a group of ragtag teenagers save the world; its the tale of two adults who have had time to come to terms with the fact that their lives and the lives of everyone they know will end soon (and once again everything that THAT comes with). its why i rlly enjoyed juxtaposing the nice weather w the crippling realization of their own mortality 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻

"you try to stress your words, make it absolutely clear that you’ve never meant anything like you mean this" this is HEARTBREAKING in a whole miryad of different ways - for a realtionship u establish as one with so many things unsaid but still understood, but here to have her say this so desperately?? like she feels this its too big to leave between the lines? it doesnt matter that he knows, she needs to say it and needs him to hear it UGH IM SAD AGAIN

IM SO GLAD YOU POINTED THIS ONE OUT!! this is EASILY one of my favorite parts of the whole fic mostly bc its something i go thru a lot? like im the definition of that tweet abt never making any damn sense but ESP when it comes to my i love yous or other serious things...i say it a lot and yes i mean it every time! but sometimes i MEAN it and i never quite know how to properly express that kinda thing. 

i think its especially big for the reader in the context of the world ending and in the context of their relationship with tsukishima to have that moment of transparency and complete sincerity for the EXACT reasons you described!!!

"It’s hollow; neither of you have been under the delusion that this was anything but." u said u werent sure about his characterisation but this screams tsukki to me. cuz hes blunt and i dont think he would lie to himself about something like this especially. and even when she tries just for a moment to pretend, he just shows her /no, its ok, this is the truth and we have to die with it/... nah it vibes dude. hes such a interesting character for this idea too? because hes not sappy or anything +

so his tears hurt so much more... oof. "This is my goodbye, he says with more than words." this just... i have so many feelings about this. cuz to me hes totally someone who shows affection through small actions when he cant find the words to match his emotions? so this is like a 4-book-saga laying out his emotions cuz he doesnt quite have the words to say it out loud and theyre out of time. its desperate, but not sad desperate? like its the end but its just him making sure shes knows everything 

ok first of all THANK YOU for saying that bc i wrote him being more vulnerable than i think we rlly see in any tsukki not like ... in junior high LMAO and immediately after i felt my characterization alarms ringing ... like yk those natural disaster alarms? thats the vibe...

but i had one of those Moments where i was no longer the one writing and it was the characters themselves just telling me what to say and how to say it nsfsfsd so im rlly glad it worked! and tbh when the concept first grabbed me by the collar i was juggling a few different characters around in my head but i think i made the right choice in the end. its like you said -- hes not a particularly sappy type and hes always been more grounded in reality imo than some of the other characters (another contender for this fic was akaashi but i realized i do NOT have any solid grasp of his character that isnt from fandom interpretation which is a double edged sword tbh)

and honetly i was ok until "If you’re going to take me out, do it in style, you’d said to him, once. So he does." and then i was all of a sudden crying. and the "stripped down to your bare selves" like theyre just being incinerated together and IM- NO WRODS JUST FEELINGS. i think the best thing about this is how unrushed it feels? and it hurts and its aching but they Know. +

and theyve come to some form of peace with it so when it does come, they can focus on eachother and not the end oh im gonna cry again. this was so gracefully put together, thank u for this. i might reread it and cry again, amazing work 😭💕

i didnt touch on it above bc i wanted to do it here but yes!!!! the absolute fucking DESPERATION felt by both parties in that last minute (which idk if you read my tags on the fic proper but 11:59 was originally one segment before i took those last couple paragraphs and made them the very last second ... i think i made the right choice? it rlly does scream FINAL to me) is SO poignant. all of the walls and hidden meanings fall away because in the end theyre all they have left, dying in each others arms at the very end of it all.

this full REVIEW honestly made me so happy to hear esp on a piece i wasnt quite sure how to feel about at first,, thank you 🤝🏻🤝🏻 i hope you have/had a wonderful day!!!!

OK EDIT BC I JUST SAW THIS COMIC SOMEONE MADE ON IG AND ITS NOT THE MOST RELEVANT BUT ANSWERING THIS PUT ME IN A TSUKISHIMA MOOD SO HERE

[deathboundinautumn]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE;  Meme.

Mun & Muse

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:   @foxcharmed​ (ily) tagging:    oof this is a longer one so ima tag only a few people @rock-you-like-a-hurricxne​, @niflheimqueen​, @tacitusauxilium​, @finalhxaven​, @dxfiedfxte​, and anyone who wants to do it, steal it from me (I wont tell if you dont ;) )

MY MUSE IS:   canon / oc / au / slightly canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM?   YES? / NO. (I’m not entirely sure? I know he’s generally well-liked in the fandom)

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. (I’m pretty sure people think he is)

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. (Yeah he's pretty fucking strong, just most people dont use him because you only have him for like a month :/ )

ARE THEY UNDERRATED?   YES / NO / IDK. (I wouldn’t say they are.  I mean the persona 3 fandom is already small as it is and everyone seems to like him so)

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY?   YES / NO 

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER?   YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. (In vanilla game not as much but in other mediums that tell the story (which are also canon) yes they are)

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD?   YES / NO. (just a homeless orphan) 

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION?   GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (Depends on who you ask.  The other members of the Senpai squad would say he’s the goodest boy.  But others call him a criminal/vagrant/troublemaker and all sorts of things.  Shinji prefers his reputation to be leaning towards the bad side as he’s more likely to be left alone that way)

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?   —   I have a very very hard time breaking canon.  The big thing being his fate on Oct 4th, its very hard for me to not honor that.  I like that his story has a beginning, a middle, and an end.  I like how his sacrifice impacts the rest of the group.  I try to honor that this is what the character wanted and by not letting him have it that im cheapening his sacrifice.  That being said I do have my own headcanons about things but I would say theyre hardly canon divergent.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.   —   -pulls out homeless son from the dumpster- look at him, look at this burnt cinnamon roll.  He may be just a grumpy ol sour-puss but deep down there’s a heart of gold that can’t help but shine through.  Despite his reputation, my boy is wholesome and caring who will always go out of his way to help those in need even if he’ll deny it every time.  Just because he’s crunchy on the outside doesnt mean he aint soft on the inside. -tosses him back in the dumpster-

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).   —  Boy I sure hope you like building character relationships at a snails pace because hoo boy is it gonna take a long ass time for you to get anywhere with this boy.  Opening up? What’s that?  How to do?  He doesn’t want to get to know you or your muse.  He just wants to be left alone so he can die in peace.  Don’t bother him.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   —   I dunno.  I replayed Persona 3 and just really really liked him.  Been in the RP game for a few years at that point and decided, meh fuck it.  If I don’t like it, I’ll just delete.  

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?   —   His struggle is something I hold very near to me and really cut me deep and still does.  Also all of you who think of me and wanna do things with me and my interpretation of Shinjiro <3

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE?   YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? (I believe that I do/am very confident in my portrayal)

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS?   YES / NO / SORT OF? (I think about them alot but seldom write them down.  Maybe I’ll start since Im actually starting to use tags to organize stuff)

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES?   YES / NO (Yep yep yep.  Somethings start as drabbles that make it into the thread (-cough the flashback of Mitsuru leaving the dorms in a thread I have going with @niflheimqueen​-))

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY?   YES / NO

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES / NO / SORT OF? (tons of praise throughout the year from the community has made me confident that my portrayal is well-liked)

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING?   YES / NO / A LITTLE BIT. (sometimes when I’m on, I’m on.  Other times I look at my writing and am just like ‘dude find a different hobby’ but I keep on keeping on and the highs have been way better than any low ive gone through.

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON?   YES / NO. / SORTA.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   —   Aye if its constructive hit me.  But if you’re just hating then that’s not much use to me.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   — Fuck me up with this shit

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  — Sure, though I haven’t really had that happen before

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   —  Live and let live.  Throughout the years there have been other Shinji’s out there who’s interpretation I’ve looked at and been like ‘nah this aint it chief’ but hey you know what’s real easy to do?  Not give a shit, live and let live.  So if someone didn’t agree with it, I wowuldn’t much care if they liked it or didn’t  its my interpretation and if they have a problem with it and make a point to come at me about it in a way that isn’t constructive then I’d say they have the bigger problem.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  — I’d be sad because he’s a good boy.  But again, if you really dont like him that much you don’t have to interact :’)

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   —   Ye, I make em a lot sometimes (especially if Im tired or something else).

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  —  I think so?   I haven’t been told that I’m not easy going and I’ve always felt very approachable.  I don’t always respond to dm’s but that’s because sometimes I’m busy but im always down to talk ooc.  It’s fun :’)