#skz hurt comfort

[mixtape-racha]

YAYYYYYY 100 followersssss :) im so happy for youuuuu :)))))

okay, here is my request... hehe, im suchhh a sucker for hurt comfort and I loveeee fem 9th member au's. but like not smut or like fwb, just like a really juicy story y'know? I haven't been able to find any of those two categories combined tho, especially into like a longer fic, like it's always in the hundreds (I would love it if it was a little longer, no pressure tho :). literally, anything works, from some kinda mess up on stage to maybe you messing up a relationship w a member??? idk. I'm letting ur thoughts run wild here... THANK YOU AND CONGRATSSSS

(im sorry im really vague in requests lol)

YAYYYY THO IM LIKE REALLYYYY PROUD OF YOU<<<3333 LOV U BB KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DOOOO

thank you so much my lovely bae!! ilysm and i hope i did this request justice!! i kind of went off on a tangent and got carried away with the plot waaa &lt;3

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sorry seems to be the hardest word

pairing: ot8 x fem!9th member!reader

warnings: angst, hurt comfort, reader snapping at the members, reader being physically unwell, fluff at the end

words: 2.29k

everything was going wrong today, and you truly meant every. fucking. thing.

somehow, you had managed to turn your alarm off the night before (probably because you fell asleep while on your phone, accidentally calling your mom in you sleep in the process), and none of the guys took the initiative to wake you up when they got up.

okay, sure, you couldn’t blame them entirely. you were a grown woman, and you could look after yourself. but weren’t you supposed to be a team? eight other people surrounding you, and none of them thought to check on you? especially when you were usually up and alert before they were? no, instead they were all out the door without even knocking to see if you were feeling okay. so much for being your brothers and best friends.

so god forbid, you were late this morning. you managed to turn up at the company for your vocal lessons only ten minute late, but it felt awful as you’d never been late before. you were so incredibly lucky to get the opportunity to debut with skz, especially joining the group later in their career and being the only girl. you wanted to do everything perfectly to show that you deserved to be where you were, and with the way today was shaping out you were so disappointed with yourself.

but then - it got worse. you, in your rush to leave the dorms, had forgotten your sheet music, leaving your vocal teacher to be short and snappy with you. yeah, you brought it up on your phone instead, but she was strict, and a firm believer in “good old-fashioned pen and paper over your silly little radio devices nowadays”. her attitude towards you for the remainder of your lesson affected you more than you liked to admit - excusing yourself to the bathroom to have a little cry before you headed to the studio.

for some reason, none of your schedules were properly coordinated today, leaving jisung to be the one in the studio with you - rather than chan, like usual -  while you recorded your lines for the demos to be sent to the company later in the month, when you’d decide the songs for the new album you had upcoming later in the year.

jisung was always the nicest to you, especially when he could tell you were having a rough day - you were both very alike in that sense, very attentive towards each other as if you could tell what the other was feeling. 

however, it seemed today that something had crawled up his ass and died. he was almost as snappy as your vocal teacher, and you were quite frankly sick of it. you kept messing up your lines; whether from the stress or the ache building in your throat (god you hoped you weren’t getting sick), you weren’t sure. but clearly, jisung wouldn’t stand for it.

“honestly, (y/n), you might as well just call it a day and come back to this with chan-hyung another day. i need to get on with other stuff.” he sighed, dismissively, as you bit back the tears fighting to escape your eyes. he wouldn’t even look at you, and your stomach was doing somersaults. was he really that mad? surely he could see how hard you were trying.

but instead of confronting him, you just grabbed your belongings and left after silently agreeing. no one answered your message on the group chat when you asked if anyone was down to get lunch together, even though you could see basically everyone had read it, so you retreated to the canteen alone before you had to go to practice with the boys.

as the ache in your throat spread to your joints, fatigue plaguing you, you trudged up to the practice room for rehearsals with the boys. you were learning a new dance - in fact, the already chosen title track for the new album, and deep down you were dreading it. it was more difficult than you had imagined, and definitely aimed more towards moves the boys could do compared to you. you loved the boys, but sometimes you felt like they forgot that men and women’s bodies worked differently.

surprisingly, you weren’t the last to arrive, squashing your fear of another thing going wrong.

but just as soon as practice began, your fear was reawakened. the ache in your joints was making the dance more difficult for you to execute, and you could feel the annoyance radiating off of minho’s body even if he wouldn’t admit it. you stumbled a few times, almost knocking into felix, who looked at you more frustrated than concerned.

“seriously, (n/n), what’s going on? it’s really not that hard. get your head in the game.”

you huffed, shaking out your limbs and telling minho to start the track again. maybe if you ignored your surroundings, ignored how you were feeling, then things would be easier. you could block out minho’s harsh criticisms - he was probably just tired. you could block out everything, knowing the boys were suffering just as much as you lately. but when the music stopped again, and everyone was talking at you, voice after voice lapping over each other you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“shut the fuck up! shut up, shut up, shut up! give me a fucking break, i’m trying my hardest!”

you honestly didn’t mean to snap, you were just so overwhelmed and couldn’t take anymore. when chan tried to put a comforting hand on your shoulder, you flung it off, all your annoyance and stress from the day building up at once.

“don’t fucking touch me. i don’t need your pity, i don’t need you to tell me that i don’t know how to do my job well enough. this is the fucking worst day of my life and you all keep making it worse!”

every fiber of your being was telling you to stop, to be reasonable, but it was like your mouth was making its own decisions. you couldn’t tell which member it was, but you were interrupting the gentle call of your name before you could even control it.

“and no, before any of you try to be funny, i’m not on my period,” you sneered, anger bubbling under your skin as you saw jisung look away sheepishly. “i’m just sick of feeling like i have to fight to prove i’m good enough, like i’m not one of you guys yet. we’re supposed to be a team, but all day i’ve been pushed to the side and treated like i don’t matter. i’m sick of it!”

you breathed heavily, grabbing your duffle bag from the side of the room and storming towards the door.

“i’m staying with yeji tonight, leave me the fuck alone.”

was all you said before leaving the boys stood in shock, confused as to why you were acting like you hated them.

regrettably, the minute you found yourself in yeji’s dorm and explained your day to her, you knew you were in the wrong. how could you let yourself treat your best friends that way? they didn’t deserve that, and you would be most understanding if they never forgave you. it was only when the throb in your head and ache in your joints became too much that you finally allowed yourself to sleep.

chan’s apology

luckily, you and the boys were granted a week off a while ago, and today marked the first day of that week. however, knowing chris he was probably still hauled up in the studio from the night before. it was around 3am (yeji shouldn’t have let you crash so early, your sleep schedule was going to be manic), so you pulled yourself together before making the decision to go visit him.

he may not even want to see you after your little outburst, but you could still try.

you stopped by the convenience store on your way to the studio, grabbing some snacks and some drinks just to be on the safe side. carefully checking the group chat, you saw that changbin was still in the studio with chan and you hoped you could get there before he left - it might be easier to kill two birds with one stone. you were just glad you bought way too much food for just two people.

you smiled politely, bowing at the security guard as he let you into the building, heart thumping in your ears as you carefully traced the steps to chan’s studio.

when you finally approached the door, you had to take a minute to prepare yourself to knock. you heard chan’s voice mumbling behind the door once you did, nervously waiting until he came and opened it.

he looked surprised to see you, frozen for a moment before quickly ushering you in and sitting you on the couch next to changbin. almost in instinct, changbin’s arm was slung around your shoulder - something he always did when you were close by, relishing in the fact he wasn’t the shortest in the group anymore.

you sheepishly held out the bag containing all the goodies you got at the convenience store to chan, a small smile on your face when he took it.

“got you some snacks.. kind of guessed you might have forgotten to eat.” your voice was quiet, ashamed. you just hoped they wouldn’t hold your outburst against you.

but when chan grinned, you knew he could never be mad at you for long.

“we were worried about you, y’know? that’s why jisung let you go early today - something seemed off and we didn’t want you to get too overwhelmed.” changbin said from next to you, the hand on your shoulder rubbing it comfortingly. 

you couldn’t stop the tears from welling up behind your eyes again, but bit them back in fear they’d think you were looking for sympathy.

“i– i’m so sorry. i’ve just had an awful day, and i feel like shit, but that doesn’t excuse my actions, and i shouldn’t have snapped at you all - you couldn’t have known, and its not your fault.”

you explained why your day had been so bad to them (after some pushing from chan), and how you were feeling physically, causing changbin to look at you with great worry.

they indulged in a small cuddle session, feasting on the snacks you provided while they tried to help cheer you up. and honestly, it worked, just talking through how you were feeling, and gettin constructive feedback rather than just a shoulder to lean on was relieving.

you couldn’t apologize to them more, feeling so ashamed of your actions, but they were quick to reassure you it was okay - everyone had bad days, you were only human after all. you just needed to work on your communication a little bit.

when you finally got ready to head back to the dorm at 5am, you felt better than you had in a long time, actually.

apology numbers one and two: complete.

but when you arrived back at the dorm, head peacefully resting on changbin’s shoulder, what you weren’t expecting to walk into was what you all called a “cuddle pool” - the sofa bed pulled out, covered with pillows and blankets - and a spot waiting for you between felix and seungmin.

your eyes watered at the expectant faces of your soul-brothers, small sobs leaving your lips as your shoulders shook. god, the day had taken a toll on you - you couldn’t remember the last time you cried in front of the boys.

it was only then that minho - who you hadn’t seen standing by the door - scooped you into a hug.

“oh, angel,” he frowned, a hand pressed to your forehead. “you’re burning up. is that why you felt so bad earlier?”

words seemed to fail you, and all you could do was nod as your grip on his sweater tightened. it certainly wouldn’t be the first time you got sick from stress, but you hated being sick. you hated feeling out of control in your own body, and despised being doted on like you were unable. however, this time… you think you could let it slide. you just needed your boys close by right now.

they seemed to enjoy looking after you, and you felt you owed them that after the situation in the practice room.

minho was quick to place on you on the couch, felix and seungmin suffocating you in a bone-crushing hug. jisung handed you the tv remote, saying you could choose to watch whatever you wanted, and that everyone would be having a slumber party in the living room until you felt better.

minho and chan had gone to make you some chicken noodle soup - using felix’s mom’s recipe, which was known for being a lifesaver in your dorm. jeongin was quick to grab you your comfort plushie, taking his place on the floor by your feet - the two of you were 100% keen on physical affection, but having him close by helped.

within merely an hour, all nine of you were curled up, an animated disney movie playing, with soup and mugs of tea being passed around the room. it was nice, and it felt so good to have your boys so close and willing to help you.

you definitely took on changbin’s mention of needing to improve on communication, wanting nothing more than to improve yourself for the little family you had build around you. and yeah you were sick, and they would probably get sick too by being in such close proximity to you, but that was a problem for another day. you’d just return the favor of looking after them.

you just knew you were lucky to have them.

taglist: join taglist here @pretty-racha @chubbyanarkiss @taeriffic @mits-vi @chanssmiles @5kayzee @torixx80 @fawnpeaks @bangtanmix73 @savluvsmingi @boi-bi-ahaha

[arcanesea]

lullaby

PAIRING: seungmin x reader GENRE: hurt-comfort WC: 427 WARNING: implications of sleep disorder

"What is it?" Seungmin asks when you stand in the doorway, fiddling with your oversized cardigan. He was trying to finish a project and your figure was just standing there in the corner of his eyes for a couple minutes now.

"Can you sing for me?" you ask meekly.

These days, sleep doesn't come as easily for you. You keep tossing and turning at night, unable to shut down the chattering in your brain. So when Seungmin asked if he could borrow your work room for a change of scenery, you quickly approved with another agenda in mind.

"Why should I?" he joked. You didn't expect him to agree so quickly though, and you already prepared a counter for his witty remarks. But standing here, now, you just don't even want to try. He turned to look at you, feeling a knot in his chest from the way you just looked so... empty. "Can you wait 5 minutes? I'll send this email first."

You nodded before walking back to your room and lying down in your dimly lit bedroom.

Seungmin came not long after, standing at the foot of the bed, looking confused. What was he supposed to do? Just sit there and sing? should he pat your feet? or head?

"Do you want to cuddle?" he asks, surprising the both of you. He lowers his head, cursing silently. "I mean, I heard it helps you fall asleep faster?"

"Are you okay with that?" you ask. He nods before getting on the bed, rubbing his hands on his jeans before pulling you closer.

"Has it been going for long?" he asks when you're trying to find the comfortable spot.

"On and off," you hesitate, trying not to make it sound bad. Seungmin only nods, parts of him wondering what calmed you down before and what pushed you to ask him to sing just now. But he didn't ask, not now, he thinks.

When you're safely nestled into his chest, he starts singing the lullaby, humming on random parts because he forgot the lyrics. The moment he feels you relaxed, he pulls away a bit only to cause you to come back to consciousness.

"Sorry," he whispered, then proceeded to sing again from the first line. The atmosphere is starting to affect Seungmin and he tries his best to fight it off.

"Everything's gonna be okay," he murmurs, well aware that you have fallen asleep minutes ago. He slowly drifts off, following you to the dreamland.

"I'll guard you." He promised genuinely before letting his eyes close completely.

a/n. i am once again sleep-deprived so, this is very much self-insert

[minhosimthings]

Fault

Prompt by @banghyunchanji : Imagine when Chan finds out that your manager is making you perform the day after you have a miscarriage.

Pairings - Idol!Husband!Chan × Soloist!Fem!Wife!reader

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, reader has a miscarriage, angst with a shit ton of comfort, mentions of food, chan has a nightmare

A/N: saw this one gif and I just had to write it! I don't like the way I wrote the ending much but I think this was my favorite descriptions to write. Thank you to @banghyunchanji for the prompt! I hope all of you like it.

"Channie-" you gasped for air. The lilac painted room, your favourite colour, seemed to be whirling around and you swore you could see the moon dancing up in the sky through the magnificent windows. Why was the moon shining tonight? Why were the city lights still turned on? Why were the buildings still stinking of coffee? Why wouldn't the world stop for you?

More under the cut

"Channie- I-Im-" Chan immediately pulled you into his chest, engulfing you in a warm comforting fire, as all the crystals you've held in your eyes started coming out. Chan felt the fabric of his shirt getting wetter and wetter, but he couldn't care less. His eyes were bloodshot, illuminating his dark circles, from all the days you got him back home at midnight from the studio.

"Shh princess. Shh, it's alright it's alright." Chan rubbed circles on your wrist, always a way of calming you down, "I'm here. I'm here." He tried to keep his voice from cracking.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Your voice tried to be stable, and your soul tried to stop itself from bleeding. Chan's heart broke into a more than a million pieces, probably enough to scatter the entire world. "Baby no~" he shushed you, his voice as warm as a freshly baked pecan pie, your favourite wasn't it? "It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's. No shhh don't cry baby, you're still very weak." He held you tighter, as your tears dried up, "you'll only get weaker. Have some water, come on."

Chan got you up slowly, hands resting on your waist, trying not to float over to your stomach, where stitches lie, tightly packed, but still bleeding gold. He pressed a glass of water to your lips, gently lifting it, so that your throat could get a drop of hydration.

"thank you." You whispered, laying back down on the bed. Chan smiled gently at you, a weak attempt at calming you down. You could see the rotten pain in his smile, his dimple shining less than it usually did. "It's alright." He mumbled into your ear, as you wrapped your arms around him, as he spoke a lie which would perhaps become a disguised truth, "Everything's gonna be alright."

The next day

"Alright Mrs Bang," the doctor clapped her hands together, rearranging her stethoscope around her bruised neck, "Your tests are looking good. I think you're free to go home today! But please-" she turned to Chan, who had his hand wrapped around your shoulder, "-make sure she doesn't do any physical activity. I know, her being a top class soloist is hard, but she absolutely cannot do any physical activity until her next checkup." Chan smiled gently at the doctor and shook her hand bracingly. "Thank you Dr Yang. And I'll make sure she doesn't even move a limb until you say so." Dr Yang laughed heartily and moved out the door, chan following behind her, while a nurse removed all the saline bottles hooked up to your veins. "Thank you." You said, as she threw all the bottles into the bin. She looked like a warm presence, with her hair tied into a bun, exactly how your mother used to do it. "It's alright." She fidgeted with her fingers. She mus'nt have been older than you, probably three or two years younger. "Uh Ma'am?" She approached, "I know it's insensitive to ask you in such times like this. B-but-" she looked down at the floor, "my little girl, she's 15 and she really loves your songs a-and her birthday is coming up and I saved up enough to buy her one of your albums." Your heart warmed at her words, distracting you from what happened the night before. "It really would mean the world to me if you could sign the pc. I would love to see her this weekend, since we haven't been talking much." You smiled at her and took the pc she offered you. You traced the frame of the pc and laughed at your younger self posing for the photo, dressed in a tube top that would barely fit you now. "Here you go." You handed the pen and the pc back to the nurse. "May I ask, you seem so young to have a child? Were you-" you lingered in the last words as the nurse smiled again. "Got pregnant when I was 16." She let out a chuckle. "Couldn't let my baby go, so I endured it for nine months, and now she lives with another family. I visit her from time to time to give her gifts and remind her I still exist. She's started calling me mom now!" Your heart engulfed in flames hearing the nurse's words. The excitement with which she talked about her daughter was so melodious to you, like hearing one of Chan's songs before the rest of the kids did. It was like that word you read once what was it what was it? Ukiyo! The Japanese word. To be unbothered by the duties of life, when your heart tells you to. A beautiful word, you thought. Languages really are pretty, more prettier when you notice for the first time, that you weren't alone.

"Baby can I lie down on the bed for a minute?" You had finally reached home after what seemed like the longest drive of your life. It felt lonely, to have nothing in your arms instead of having a crying baby. You didn't mention a word of it to Chan. True, letting go is easier than keeping it in, but as you looked at his bloodshot eyes and remembered Minho telling you in secret about how much your husband wept, you decided to keep it in just a little bit.

"Sure darling." Chan guided you slowly to the bedroom, his arms holding you so tight yet so fragile, "I'll wake you up when you need to eat alright?" He kissed your forehead as you hummed in response, drifting off into peacefully troubled sleep.

"Ahh fuck." You groaned as you woke up. You checked the time on your phone. It hadn't even been fifteen minutes since you slept. You decided that it was best to wake up and go outside to your husband, instead of laying in bed with your pillow giving you the worst ideas.

"Ch-channie?" You voiced out, nervously stepping into the kitchen. You couldn't see a broad shouldered figure clad in black anywhere in the kitchen, so you gave up your search there and instead strolled over to the living room.

There he was. Dozing off on the sofa, without a blanket. You smiled at him gently shivering every now and then. You could hear him muttering something in his sleep.

"No- not- fault", he kept muttering, "ocean-give the". He started shivering a little more violently, and you could see his fingers start to fidget. You sighed and went over to his sleeping figure, and upon closer inspection you saw that his eyes were twitching uncontrollably.

"Baby?" You shook him gently, to which he groaned but still didn't open his eyes. "Channie wake up." You shook him more harshly this time. "Wh-what?" He mumbled, slowly opening his eyes and blinking up at you, as he usually did on the rare times that he fell asleep. "Baby were you having a nightmare?" You plopped down next to him on the couch and wrapped a blanket around both of you. As if it was a natural response, Chan wrapped his arms around you and buried his head into your neck. "Just had a dream about the ocean." He mumbled into your neck. "Alright Mr Huggabear." You chuckled, feeling his breath on your neck, "How about we order something hmm?" Chan nodded, still not removing himself from the crook of your neck.

You picked up your phone and quietly tapped your fingers on it, ordering all of Chan's favourites, without him knowing, as he was still deep in your neck. "I'll pay." You heard him mumble, trying to stifle a yawn. "It's alright baby." You stroked his curly hair, "I already paid so you don't hav-"

The sound of the bell echoing through your house slightly startled you. Was the delivery man already here? That was certainly quick, you thought as you decided to give the delivery man a tip for his speed.

"I'll go darling. You sit." Chan finally got up, rubbing his eyes. You smiled up at Chan and got up anyways to turn the tv on, switching to the last episode of Hannibal.

"Uh baby?" You heard Chan call your name from across the house, "Paul's here!"

Paul was one of your many managers, the main one you could say. And yes, only ONE of your many managers, because a world class soloist has got to have atleast a hundred of them right?

"Hey Y/N!" Paul walked in casually, followed by some members of staff. You felt slightly uncomfortable having so many people in your house, but like a good Samaritan, you kept it in. Chan followed behind.

"Nice of you to drop in Paul." Chan smiled, "Please do sit down." Paul plopped down on the sofa opposite you as Chan sat down next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "What can we do for you Paul?" You smiled gently. Paul brushed a hair out of his face and pulled out a paper, giving it to you. "So I got the schedule for your shows." Paul smiled brightly, "Tomorrow you'll be performing in Busan and for the next month-" "I'm sorry can we pause for a moment?" Chan's stern voice shut Paul up. "She can't perform." He took the paper from your hands, and gave it back to Paul, "She's on maternal leave you know that right?" Chan eyebrows were furrowed and anger was starting to creep up to his face. You put your hand on his, a weak attempt to calm him down.

"Now now-" Paul laughed awkwardly, "no need to get angry Mr Banhg. But this is entirely Y/N's buisness not yours." "Excuse me?"

You felt Chan visibly shake beside you. "Channie-" you whispered, in a vain attempt to calm him down. "This is my buisness, she's my wife incase you didn't know. And she just had a miscarriage, so could you atleast pretend to be sympathetic, you fucking Asshole?" Flames seemed to erupting from Chan, as Paul scoffed, looking offended. "Mr Bangh I really suggest you not use such language." "And I suggest you leave right now." Chan fired back, as you watched the scene unfold, not being able to do anything, "Tell PD Nim that she cannot perform and whe most certainly will not."

"Mr Bangh." Paul started, but Chan was quicker in his words. "Nothing you say will convince me to let her go so please I suggest you leave."

"Whatever." Paul scoffed, getting up along with the rest of the staff and swinging his bad over his shoulder. "When she loses her fans because of her laziness, don't tell me I didn't tell you so." You could have punched Paul right then and there and you were going to if Chan hadn't gotten to him quicker. The glass vase on the round table fell off and shattered noisily as Chan slammed Paul into a wall. You heard gasps from the rest of the staff members and you rushed over to Chan, holding him by his arm and whispering "let him go Channie he's not worth our time" into his ear. Chan begrudgingly let go of Paul who adjusted his collar quickly and scampered out the door, along with the staff. "Hey!" Chan called out to the last staff member who was about to leave. She turned around quickly and bowed to Chan. "Tell JYP that Y/N will be on a hiatus for the next three months and Bang Chan from Stray Kids will also be on hiatus for very related reasons. Put emphasis on the related. Got it?" The girl nodded frantically and rushed out the door.

"Chan" you sighed heavily, "Alright that slamming into the wall was hot, but what was the hiatus about?" Chan meekly smiled up at you, a total contrast to how he was five minutes ago. "You're not going anywhere nor are you doing anything related to performing in three months. You're staying at home and I'm feeding you chocolate and hugs and kisses until you die." You laughed heartily and plopped down onto the couch, getting the food that had magically appeared at the doorstep.

"I love you Channie." You rested your head on his shoulder, leaning into his warmth. "I love you too babygirl." Chan kissed your forehead, "More than you could ever know."

[cheeseceli]

Sometimes I write because I want to. Sometimes I write because I need to. Right now, this is the latter.

Hyunjin saw you when his eyes were closed.

He didn't know it was you though. How could he if he didn't even know "you" existed. But he was sure he saw someone. In between the music that reached his ears and the fog that lived in his brain, he saw a person.

He couldn't see the person's features, but he knew they were beautiful. So beautiful that he found immediate peace. So beautiful that when he reached to touch your face, the world stopped. He couldn't see your lips, but he knew you were smiling. And so he smiled.

But then he left his dream to see his bedroom's ceiling. You weren't there. His smile fell. The music stopped and the world kept going on in its natural disorder and sadness. He was alone once again.

Now, he knew this was weird. It could be just a dream. It could be just a cruel prank his brain decided to pull on him. But he was so sure that it hid some meaning. He never felt like that, it had to mean something.

He laughed at himself. How could he feel anything towards a shadow in a dream? And how could he even dare to call it love? He didn't even know what romantic love felt like. He never fell for anyone. He just fantasised a lot about this feeling, hoping he'd feel its effects one day. He doesn't know what it is like.

But he would wish it felt somewhat similar to what he just felt. It lasted some minutes only, but he swears he never felt so at peace. It felt like coming back home. He was coming back home to you.

Oh, he wished he knew who "you" was.

He closed his eyes again. He tried to go back to you, hoping to see you in his dreams just like he did before. And he silently prayed that he could meet you one day. And his prayers were listened to.

Because some days later he sees you for the first time. But it feels like it's the thousandth time he saw you, like he loved you in his past life and all that came before this one. He says that with certainty, because he just saw you. But he knew he was somehow going back to you.

A/n: feel free to skip this part because I will only ramble now lmao. But the thing is, I listened to love wins all by IU and I also watched the MV. To say that I cried is an understatement. But this song also changed my point of view in so many things. Imagine being able to make hell look beautiful just because the person you love is by your side. Imagine fighting against a greater evil knowing you will lose just because you don't want your lover to suffer, and then you need to give it a try. Imagine facing the inevitable end and even there being together. I am aroace. I have never felt romantic love before. Sometimes I doubt if I ever will. But this song made me fall in love with someone who didn't even exist, or at least I don't know if they do. This song made me feel so many things at once. It changed something inside my brain. Don't be surprised if a good amount of my next works are inspired by this song, it really did something to me. And I apologise if this doesn't make a lot of sense, but I had to write about it.

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[dadonbabysworld]

Skz Reactions: You take your engagement ring off

Author’s Note: This is one of the most difficult but interesting stories I’ve written. I hope you guys like it. I forgot to mention the inspiration behind this was from @yangfleurs and her writing. Anyways, please let me know your favorite members story :)

Genre: angst & a lil hurt/comfort

Word Count: 5,052

Warnings: Mentions of motion sickness, fear of flights/heights, forgetting to eat, cursing, not wanting to get out of bed, home sickness, jealousy, other kpop groups besides skz, degrading words, previous death, and trauma.

Chan

It was stressful to be with Chan because he doesn’t spend much time at home. You rarely see each other but he makes up for it in his own ways. Most days are spent overthinking though.

Chan spent so much time helping you gain confidence and the ability to communicate. He is proud of the steps you have made in this journey even if it is against his own judgement.

He wanted to get you out your comfort zone a bit by taking you on vacation. The issue is you didn’t feel comfortable with flights over four hours. You get too in your head on top of getting motion sickness every time you fly. Longer than four hours is torture.

“I just don’t see the big issue babe. It’s only a six hour flight. I will try to find you some medicine for your motion sickness.”

“I don’t feel comfortable doing that Channie…”

“Babe you’ll love this place though. You like tropical weather and we can go surfing and stuff. It will be fun. Just you and me.”

“Chan we can go anywhere to have fun. I just cannot do it.”

“I already paid for it babe..”

“WITHOUT TELLING ME?! Chan! Now I have to go on a trip because you paid for it. Way to guilt me into going..” You got up from your seat next to him.

“Hold on. You know I didn’t do this on purpose.” He grabs your hand, looking up into your eyes.

“What? Did you think I was just gonna have nothing to say?” You questioned. He didn’t say anything simply looking away.

“You mister communication is important and boundaries are normal thought nothing about the future?! Respect my fucking boundaries Chan.” You pull away from him and place the ring in his hand before leaving.

He sits there looking at it for a while before coming into the living room.

“I think we should just call off the wedding.” Chan suggests.

“And what makes you say that?” You ask. Of course he didn’t come out here to apologize.

“You gave the ring back… you must not want it.”

“I gave it back because you didn’t fucking respect my boundaries. It is a warning. The next time you will lose me. Chan I don’t force you to experience discomfort or face your fears, and you shouldn’t do either of those things to me. If I forced us to go skydiving, you’d be upset.”

“No I wouldn’t. I’m not a giant baby like you. I actually can do things that make me uncomfortable. It’s about growth which you obviously don’t want if you’re never willing to do anything.”

You nod slowly and lean back. You see how he really felt about the situation. He doesn’t wanna get married to you. He is easily willing to call it off and insult you as well.

Minho

It was not a smooth journey for you and Minho to finally be engaged. Several on and off situations, the contacting each other on different accounts, and all the other bullshit got you where you are today.

You were not expecting to be engaged at this age especially after being so temporary with him before. You don’t even have a relationship date anymore because y’all were not together so much.

Minho was a lover and close to you, but somehow he still manages to push you to a level of rage you shouldn’t be feeling. He was just irritated so much. Every little situation made him mad, and his anger can be a lot.

He is working on his anger, but today was just a lot for you both. Being that you both had different schedules, you split responsibilities in order of who had time to do it. You took care of the pets in most cases. Besides dinner, Minho fed them dinner instead of you.

You just had forgotten to give them breakfast. They were more vocal than normal when he arrived home. You were in the shower. Knowing he would be home around that time, you got yourself together after having a breakdown to try to make yourself presentable.

He feeds them before coming into your shared room. “Baby?” He yells into the bathroom. “Yes?”

“Did you feed the babies? They seemed really starved.”

Oh shit. After being glued to the bed all of today, you realized you truly neglected all your responsibilities for today. “No.. I forgot!” You yell back. He sighs and comes into the bathroom. “Babe! You can’t keep forgetting about them. It’s the second day in a row. I might as well feed them all at night!”

“Well do that then!”

He growled as he grabbed the make up remover from the cabinet. “What the fuck do I need you for then? Can’t even care for our cats let alone future children.”

You cut off the shower and pulled the curtain back. “That’s not the same and you know it. I will literally remember our child.” You step out the shower and grab a towel.

“How do I know that? You can’t remember my children now. They’re important to me. I’m starting to think you’re jealous of them.”

“Jealous? Of some cats? Let’s be so fucking for real Minho.” You tell him drying off. You grab your lotion from the sink.

“Yes jealous. You get jealous over anything. Also, let’s not act like you have the maternal gene. You obviously let them starve today. Like I’m pretty sure you wish I would be nicer to you like them but then you do shit like this.”

“Shit like this?”

“Yes! Be unreliable like how are we gonna build anything together when you gon forget the nail’s then act like it’s not a big issue. Be making me question if you’re wifey material.”

You just leave the bathroom after that comment. You sit your engagement ring on the dresser as you get dressed. Hopefully he gets the message that you’re irritated with him. You go into the kitchen to check on the cats and to apologize to them.

As the cats crowd around you to get pet, minho comes into the room with your ring in hand.

“So now we’re forgetting our rings?” He asks.

“I’m not motherly and not wifey material right? Are you really surprised?”

“You’re a fucking child! Stop being stupid and put the damn ring on. You really mad at the truth. You need to work on yourself.”

“You didn’t even ask why I didn’t feed them. I’m DEPRESSED Minho. You don’t even give a fuck.”

“How would I know that?!” He yells in your face.

“MAYBE IF YOU GAVE A FUCK!” You say as tears roll down your face. “I fucking hate you. You’re a selfish bitch.” You push him away as you grab your coat and leave the house slamming the door.

Changbin

Changbin constantly makes you wonder if you were good enough for him. It was your difference in personality and lifestyle that made you wonder if you guys were compatible.

You didn’t argue much though. Just lots of misunderstandings. Nothing gets too out of hand. That is why you are shocked at the lack of care he has right now.

“What do you mean we can’t live in another country? I literally have been living here for you for years Changbin. I wanna spend some time home if possible.”

“When we get married, I want to start a family. We can’t be uprooting our family like that. It’s not good for a baby or children to leave super young.”

“Then let’s wait for them to get older before coming back. We will be leaving before I get 30 years old.”

“That’s asking a lot. We are secure here.”

“And asking me to move half way across the fucking world wasn’t a lot Changbin?!”

“Don’t start cursing and yelling. Let’s try to have a conversation not an argument.”

“Now you’re gonna tell me what to do? Why would I wanna get fucking married to you? We don’t even want the same things. You’re not willing to even compromise.”

“Compromise?! You just want it to go your way! You decided to stay here. How is that my fault? Be for real y/n. You really think I’m not compromising. You aren’t even understanding what I’m trying to say because you are so caught up in what you want to say in response.”

“Since I’m so uncompromising and not understanding. Marry someone else.” You throw the ring at him and walk away. He catches it and glances at it before walking up to you. He grabs your arm and leads you out the door.

“Let me go Changbin.” You try fighting with him, but his grip is too strong. He forces you to get into the car before getting in himself and driving off.

“We are gonna talk this out or you can leave and never come back again.” He states as he watches the road. He had no doubt you would just talk. You don’t really want him to be out of your life. That is unrealistic. You love him.

“I want to see my family Changbin… I want to go home.” You are nearly crying at this point.

“I understand that. I want that for you. I just don’t think we should be having a baby and doing that. We might just have to hold back on having children and getting married.”

“I just need this for my spirit. I want to do all those things with you. I just do wanna spend at least a year home. My parents are getting older. I wanna make sure they are okay and know if they are sound enough for us to stay living so far away.”

He just nods taking in everything you said. “I love you, and I am willing to do that with you. You have to acknowledge that we could go broke. I probably won’t be able to get a job so fast especially not knowing much about the land or culture…”

“Changbinn I’m not asking you to be perfect. I know this is going to be rough, but we have each other. I will try to make this as smooth as possible for us.”

He sighs and nods. “Okay but if we’re going broke within the first few months we have to leave. Promise me.”

“I promise Binnie.”

Hyunjin

You knew Hyunjin’s emotions very well because he was very open about them. His facial expressions revealed everything anyways.

That’s how you knew he was serious about this. You never once took Hyunjin for the jealous type. He was very secure in your status with him. Maybe it was that the guy was another idol.

You had attended a private party with the boys and lots of other famous celebrities were also invited. You decided to wear a simple red dress and heels. Nothing flashy as you were always impressive even in the worst clothes.

Hyunjin stayed by your side as much as possible. However, he didn’t expect you to get in a conversation with Hongjoong as soon as he walked away.

It was a simple conversation. He came over to ask what group you were in, but you cleared up any confusion.

“Oh no. I’m not an idol. I’m here with Hyunjin. That’s my boyfriend.” You explain to him.

“Oh okay. I was just wondering because I never seen you around. I saw you with Chan earlier, so I was wondering if he was hiding his friends from me.” You laugh and shake your head.

“I am friends with Chan, but he is also like my brother. Anyways, I’m y/n nice to meet you.” You bow a little.

“I’m Hongjoong from ateez. Oh here comes your man. I got to get going.” He says walking past Hyunjin and bowing some.

“Hyunjin”

“Hongjoong” he says bowing back before walking towards you. He grabs your arm and leads you to the bathroom. He locks the door once you both are inside.

“What the hell Hyunjin?”

“What the hell to me? What the hell were you and Hongjoong talking about? And why did he leave when I was approaching?!” He questioned, getting close to your face.

“First off”, you push his face back “Get the fuck out my face. Second off, why are you being so jealous right now? We talked about being an idol. He thought I was an idol, but I’m obviously not.”

“So he was trying to talk you up when I left? Fucking-“ Your laughs cut him off. You back into the wall laughing.

“What is so fucking funny?!” He yells.

“You. Look at you all jealous over nothing. I thought you were more secure and confident than this.” You inform him.

“I thought you were more trustworthy and beautiful than this. You look so ugly right now.” He says with a face that read disgust.

"If I'm so disgusting Hyunjin, find someone else to marry then!" You spat at him throwing the ring in his face and walking out the bathroom. Some of the idols in the room seemed to stop and stare in that direction.

He was embarrassed and angry. Chan came over to him and tried to talk him down, but Hyunjin locked the door behind you as he paced inside the bathroom. Tears of anger flowed down his cheeks.

Han

You haven’t seen Han in a few days. He comes home when you are already sleep, and he leaves before you could even wake up. He has been sleeping in the guest room. He tries to be discreet, but the bed hasn’t been made the same for a few days.

He must be mad about the argument and what happened. You never expected the silent treatment from him though. Your texts and calls left on delivered. He hadn’t blocked you just ignoring you on purpose. You tried to have a friend call, but he wasn’t answering anyones calls apparently. That was what you thought until you checked in with Jeongin.

You had went to get coffee together. Jeongin loved spending time with you because you were his friend. He knew something was wrong as soon as you were in his presence. He was just waiting for you to mention anything.

“Have you seen Jisung?” You ask him sipping on your coffee.

“Yes. He was in the studio yesterday with Chan. We recorded some guide’s yesterday nothing heavy.”

“Did he say anything to you about us..? Or anything alarming?”

“He didn’t say anything besides the song. The quietest I’ve seen him in months. He normally cracks at least one joke.”

You sigh. The tears were fighting to fall. Maybe you pushed him too far by not wearing the ring anymore. It was serious at the time tough. It was the only way you thought of getting your point across.

“What happened between you two?” Jeongin asks lowly.

You slowly start to explain what happened. It was truly a regular day. You had spent time together doing errands. After seeing families together, Jisung had a lot of baby fever. This wouldn’t be an issue normally; he just would get over it quickly. This time it felt a little overwhelming.

“Babeee are you sure we can’t just have one?” He questioned as he played with your hair.

“Yess. Children are not something I want at the moment, and we agreed on it. You want to get married first anyways.”

“We’re engaged.. that is good enough. I want a mini me or you. I love babies.”

You mumble “I don’t…” He side eyes you. He kisses your neck. “Come on baby. Don’t be that way.”

You push his head away and stand up. “No Sung.” He smacks his lips before watching you. “Damn we can’t just.. yk either?”

“No and you aren’t even taking me seriously.”

“Because I don’t understand the hold up, we’re secure right now. I won’t wait forever.”

You look in his eyes for any sign he was kidding. You turn to leave, placing your ring on the dresser. “How’s this for forever?” You ask before leaving out the room.

Jeongin gasps. “Damn y’all are done forever?”

You sigh and put your face in your hands. “I didn’t mean it.. I was hoping it just stopped the conversation. Apparently, it stopped all conversations.”

“Y’all need to talk. Try to fix that. He is gonna burn himself out working so much.”

“I can try, but he literally doesn’t even come home if I’m awake. He isn’t answering my texts or calls. I don’t know Jeongin.”

“Go to the studio then. He is constantly napping in there, so he will probably be working or sleeping. Either way you have him trapped.”

You end up at the guys studio thanks to Jeongin. You watch him through the door as he works. Lots of papers are spread around the room. He has written so much lately. Han always writes lyrics down on paper. Not too keen on keeping a virtual document.

You knock on the door before coming in. He panics almost before seeing it was you. You sit next to him in a chair as he continues. There you sat for ten minutes. He doesn’t acknowledge you, look at you, or anything. You could see some of the lyrics he wrote. It was different songs. One about being angry; another about apologizing for the pressure on you.

“Hanji.. I miss you. I know work is important, but can we please talk?”

“About what? We have nothing to talk about. When I find a place of my own, I will be out of your hair. For now I’m just working to make money for myself.”

“You don’t have to find a new place Jisung. I-” he cuts you off. “I need to find a new place because apparently we’re single forever.”

“I’m sorry I took the ring off. I didn’t mean it seriously.”

“Then just don’t say it. You don’t do shit like that on a whim. It really hurts… it has been so hard to be without you. I’ve seen you, and you don’t even seem sad without me.”

“Jisung-“

“Just leave please. I have work to do. Also, I still don’t have anything more to say. We argued, but you really hurt me. You threw the ring down like it was nothing.”

“I am trying-“

“LEAVE! I don’t want to hear it. You’re stressing me out and making me anxious.. just please leave.”

You nod and grab your things to leave. You look back at him from the door once more before leaving. He didn’t once look at you. Even by accident.

Felix

Felix and the boys didn’t go out often to clubs and things. Being celebrities and having busy schedules, they rarely had the time. When it does happen though, you don’t attend. Clubs aren’t your scene.

You prefer to spend time at home with your’s and Felix’s cat. He is very happy to have you home to play and nap together. Felix thinks it’s okay that you stay home. When he catches you two cuddling sometimes because he stayed out late, he finds it endearingly cute. Two babies.

Today though Felix came home rather drunk. He stumbled through the door putting his keys on the hook before sliding off his shoes. As he is going to hang his jacket, he sees you on the couch. He is startled and grabs his chest.

“Oh fuck y/n… say something next time. I almost died.”

You squint at him. Felix has great reflexes and senses so how drunk is he? “Are you drunk?”

“Maybeee” he hums putting his jacket on the coat rack.

“Did you drive home?” Silence. If looks could kill, he would be dead from the glare you are sending him. Even with his back turned he could feel you.

“Felix!”

“I’m sorry. I needed a way home.” He quickly apologizes and approaches you. He grabs your hands.

“Felix.. don’t be drunk driving! Is the car okay?!”

“Yes I only hit like one curb on the way home…”

“Felix! You know drunk driving is bad. I can’t believe you. Ask one of the guys next time to take you home. You could have killed someone or worse died!”

“But I didn’t. I’m here and everyone is safe.”

“You are not taking this seriously… you know I don’t play about this.” You warned him time and time again about drunk driving. A drunk driver killed your best friend in high school. It happened right after school as you guys were going to get boba together.

“It’s not that serious though? Everyone is okay. Babe I’m fine. I will go get the car fixed tomorrow okay?”

You tear up and push his hands away. “It’s not fine. How could you be so reckless after what I told you? Do you not care? I can’t even think about you rn. I don’t even want to.” You take the ring off and place it on the table before going in the bathroom and locking the door.

Felix stares at the ring before tearing up. How could you take off the ring he gave you? Did he fuck up that bad? Then it hit him. He cries softly to not attract attention from you. He felt like an asshole for almost making you relive your childhood trauma.

He comes and knocks on the door. “Babe I’m sorry for what I did. I shouldn’t have driven home drunk and made you worried. It is a big deal, and I’m sorry I possibly reminded you of the traumatic situation you experienced with your friend.”

You come out the bathroom after two minutes and hug him. You both had been crying. He rubs your back and kisses your head. Maybe he did care..

Seungmin

You had talked with Seungmin about your past before. Your relationship with your parents and siblings made you the way you are now. Sometimes you cut up on him. It wasn’t on purpose; it was your fight or flight kicking in.

He found it a little daunting at first because he didn’t expect it from you. He thought you were just sarcastic to be funny, but he soon came to realize you were conditioned to be that way.

You had a lot of issues you two were working with. One being deciding your love language since you were lacking a lot growing up. The two things that outweighed everything is words of affirmation and acts of service.

Seungmin didn’t understand you in that sense of wanting to do things for him. He was certainly more independent than most men you ever met let alone dated. It was nice sometimes, but you never get to show him any love.

“Min do you want breakfast?” You questioned as you were making your own food.

“No it’s fine. I will just have some yogurt and fruit.” He responded from the bathroom.

“I can prepare it for you if you’d like. I’m already in here, and I know you have a packed schedule today.” You offer wanting to be useful.

“No it’s fine. I got it. You relax. You have to work today just like I do.”

You just huff and continue making your breakfast. It felt wrong to not make him breakfast or do anything for him to help him get ready. The guilt was eating you alive even though he doesn’t see anything wrong in him caring for himself.

“Babe are you tired of me?” You ask him as he comes into the room. He shakes his head as he opens the fridge. “No not at all. Why?”

“Why can’t I ever help you in the morning? You don’t want me to iron your clothes, help style your hair, make you breakfast, clean up after you… you do everything on your own.”

“So that means I’m tired of you?” He questions as he looks at you. He had his yogurt and fruit in hand.

“Yes…? You just don’t always make me feel wanted. I don’t understand why you want me. I’m not doing any good for you.”

“I love you. I really do. I don’t need you to do those things for me. I just want you to be there for me mentally. I want a companion.”

“So I’m a pet?”

“Babe don’t start this. I love you and I’m not tired of you end of story. You don’t have to be living like you were with your mother. The weight of caring for the whole house is off your shoulders.”

“I just want to love you Seungmin…” your tears finally fall from your glossed over eyes. “I just want to feel wanted. I just can’t help but overthink this.. like how can you not want me to help you? Am I too incompetent in your opinion?”

“Why would I ask you to marry me if you are incompetent y/n?! You think of yourself so lowly and that is the problem. You shouldn’t need to care for me or have me talk your head up to feel worthy.” His words sting. How could he just invalidate your love languages.

“You know what? It’s fine. I don’t need this invalidation right now. Just eat your breakfast. I’m gonna go get ready for work.” You leave the kitchen with your food and close the door to your room.

After a while, you go in the kitchen and leave your plate in the kitchen before leaving the house for work. Seungmin sighs after hearing the door close. “No good bye huh?” He questions out loud. He goes into the room to grab his bag and phone charger. The shine of your engagement ring from the dresser is bright when the sun hits it. You left it there for him to notice.

And notice he did because you returned home to his ring next to yours. He didn’t send any texts or call once. You just nod and get in the shower. Once he returned, he did the same as you watched television in the living room.

You waited for him to get out the shower. You approached him as he got dressed. “So you didn’t wear your ring today?” You asked him. He nods and looks at you. “You started this. I’m only doing what you do.” You shake your head. “Sure.. I don’t invalidate your love language but you do it to me.”

He sighs, “you’re not gonna give this up are you? I only said the truth.”

“Okay whatever. I should just let it go because nothing ever matters to Seungmin.” You say grabbing the ring and going in the living room.

Jeongin

You stayed with Jeongin because you had fell on hard times, and he was your supportive boyfriend. Well, he was your supportive boyfriend.

It had been slightly hard on him supporting the both of you. Jeongin had expensive habits. He bought lots of clothes. As well as, he was a gift giver. His love language was gift giving for others. Also, he was barely home before so he saved lots of money on food. He ate out with the rest of skz, but you needed to eat at home.

You didn’t know he was struggling at all to make ends meet. You found out after overhearing him tell Chan. Chan was trying to be supportive and help him figure out ways to make things better. The guilt was heavy on your mind though. Jeongin didn’t seem happy anymore with you.

This must be the last straw. You feared the conversation with him. He asked you to wait up for him tonight. Normally he joins you in bed around 11 pm. You sat on the couch wrapped up in a blanket. Mind running kept you up at odd hours anyways. You haven’t gotten much sleep after finding out the news.

He walks in shortly after 10:30 pm. He sits next to you after leaving his shoes at the door. “Hey y/n.” You clear your throat before looking at him. “Hi Jeongin.”

“You’re probably wondering what I wanted to talk about. I just wanted to keep you in the loop. I don’t think I can afford to.. have you keep staying here.”

You heart dropped a little, but you were expecting this. “What am I supposed to do Jeongin? We’re supposed to be getting married. Is it not weird for us to suddenly not live together anymore?”

“You might have to start working then. It’s been months. The job market cannot be that dead.” He claims, sitting back to look at you.

“I wish it wasn’t but it truly is. I would literally have to go back to school to do anything. All the jobs that are constantly hiring I just don’t have the skills for them.” You explain to him. You felt tears forming in your eyes and your throat starts to be close slightly.

“Well maybe you need to do that. I just know I can’t do it for right now. I love you for sure, but I need something more than you’re giving me. Love isn’t paying the bills. I need you to leave.”

“Today?” You ask him as the tears ran down your cheeks.

“Preferably. I don’t wanna feel guilty and go back on my word.”

You just nod and wipe your eyes. “I don’t think I can do this Jeongin. I can’t pretend like I haven’t noticed the looks you have been giving me. You don’t love me the same, and it hurts to know you’re probably using this as an excuse to cover up your true feelings.” You explain through sobs and heavy breaths. He looks down at his hands, in a way, he confirmed your true fear.

“It’s okay though. It was good while it lasted. I will miss you, but I won’t be a dummy for you.” You get up slowly and place the engagement ring in his hand. You go into the room you both shared and packed the minimal amount of things you have. You don’t look at him before leaving.

He sits there looking at the ring for a while before placing it on the table. He goes to shower. He felt somewhat guilty, but he was glad you didn’t make a bigger deal about it. He would miss you as well.

Taglist — @kflixnet @l-luvr @lino-jagiyaa 🐶 @moonmukamiamajiki 🤍 @kpflyn

If you like this post, consider reading my other works listed here. I, also, accept requests here. Thank you!

[exo-lovestay]

Smoke

Genre: angst, fluff, hurt comfort???

Group/member: Stray kids Changbin

Summary: Changbin found out an old habit returned, breaking a promise you had sworn to keep.

Warnings: mentions of neglect/abuse, mentions of drugs, let me know if there’s anything else

Note: this was finished and partly proofread at like 3 am so if it has some problems we are gonna pretend it doesn’t lol

The headline stared back at you. You’d hoped you’d never see it. “Man released early on good behavior.” You scoffed, you wondered who he had to sleep with to make that happen. Your parents were two of a kind, truly, both addicts, one physically abusive, the other too damn high to tell the bruises he left on your skin weren’t birth marks. You’d left the second you had enough of an income to justify it. Over the years your mom had made attempts at getting sober, if that’s what you could call it, only to call you asking to meet up and make amends as reason yo butter you up for money. She always defended your father, saying she didn’t remember him hitting you and that you had an overactive imagination. She could tell that to the scars you still had. And she could kiss your ass while she was at it.

Your father had been arrested a few years ago for drug charges and assault. Of course god forbid they arrest him for child abuse when you spoke up once to a teacher. You learned fast to take care of yourself and trust no one.

So the fact that Changbin had weasled his way into your life, that still left you confused as hell. You didn’t even realize it had happened until he was halfway moved in. The two of you just worked, regardless of the fact that you were from two different lifestyles and backgrounds, it just worked. Somehow he took a hyper independent girl with enough baggage to fill an airplane and take over a space so big in her heart that if he had left, she wasn’t sure she would have a heart at all.

You barely heard the front door of your apartment click open,your head spinning, ‘Right on time.’ You thought as you rose form your bed.

“I’m home!” Changbin sang from the living room, you rounded the corner and watched as his smile took over his face. You smiled back, for moment you could feel the weeks traumas and pains pause.

“How was work?” You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned into him.

“I don’t think i have enough words to describe it. Hard but productive and rewarding.” He chuckled.

“So the usual?”

“Pretty much, how was your day?” He placed a kiss on your forehead and then another on your mouth. His brow furrowed.

“Boring, I’m about-“

“Have you been smoking?” He cut you off. He kissed you again and you knew you were screwed. Of course you forgot to brush your teeth or hell, chew gum or something to mask it. He pulled away from you slightly, his eyes mixed with so many emotions you couldn’t get a read on what he felt but you knew he was not thrilled. You looked away from him nervously, biting your lip. You couldn’t lie to him but confessing was almost worse.

“Don’t lie to me. You promised this wasn’t happening again.” He stated. You could feel his fingers dig slightly into your hips as he awaited your response.

“It was just one cigarette, babe, it’s not a big deal.” You managed pathetically. He’s right, you did promise. But when shit curb stomps you sometimes you cope how you can.

“Not a big deal?!” His voice seemed to echo through the apartment, “Y/n you know damn well it is. Your doctor made it painfully clear how much of a risk it is for you to smoke anything and yet you apparently didn’t fuckin care. You are so lucky it didn’t trigger you.”

He pulled away and rested his head in his hands lightly, his palms rubbing his eyes as it processed.

“Well it didn’t trigger me.” You said bluntly. You knew how he felt on this but what would he know? He’s never had to handle the plate you have. He would be smoking too if the roles were reversed. “I just wanted to take the edge off, just lay off ok?”

He whirled around to you, “Lay off?? Last time you had an asthma attack that put you on a ventilator, and you want me to fucking lay off?!” His voice boomed now. You flinched as it hit your ears. Thinking back you aren’t sure you had ever seen him this angry, not at you at least. You felt your blood run cold at his volume, but your heart pounded and your brain did flips trying form a coherent response.. The two of you never fought like this, hearing his tone stung hard. You knew it wasn’t from the same place, you knew he wasn’t the others, he wasn’t your parents, they wouldn’t even come close to him..

“You aren’t obligated to care, Changbin. Things change, shit happens and god forbid i smoke one cigarette to process the shit show that is my life. Have you considered that the asthma isn’t the worst thing to have happened to me.”

“Have you considered that this isn’t just about you? You aren’t the only one being affected by your actions. There’s no obligation to care, I will whether you like it or not.” You knew he was right, every inch of you did but tell that to your fight or flight. Arguements set you off, years of abuse had changed the function of your brain and he knew this, and so the words he said didn’t matter when all you could think was ‘How fast can I put this wall up and run?’

You checked your watch, “you know what? I don’t have time for this. I have to go to work.” You said. He stopped when he saw your eyes. Even if your tone was frozen solid and your face unwavering your eyes had a fear he hadn’t seen before. He watched as you grabbed your keys and your bag and went fkr the door.

“Y/n wait,” he followed, his tone softer, “let me drive you.”

“Why, so you can smell the smoke on me more? I think I’ll just walk. Or will that trigger me too?” You internally punched yourself. You hadn’t spit venom like this to him. You slammed the door behind you, not pausing to look at him because you knew what you said was against everything you worked for as a couple. You had worked so hard to learn to communicate better, he helped you understand him and gave you the words you needed to advocate for yourself when you felt trapped.

But now? You knew you crossed a line. You fucked up. He was right and you knew it, how selfish could you have been to have risked your health instead of just telling him these things. Honestly you forgot you even smoked it. Your brain was so clouded that your body worked on auto pilot. Your mother had always come to find you when her parole was up. What was stopping your father?

But Changbin didn’t know that. How could he? It was your job to communicate these things and instead you put yourself at risk and snapped. Last time you smoked you almost died and he had to care for you. You knew how terrified he had been, so why was that not taken into consideration when you put the cigarette to your lips?

You shook as you walked. He had standards for his relationships, he always said he knew when to leave and when something stopped serving him. Any sane person would leave you now too.

Surprisingly you weren’t that late to work. Thankfully your coworkers seemed to know you weren’t in the mood to talk so they didn’t pry despite your entire demeanor being off. You worked harder today than you probably ever had. Once you had kicked smoking, pouring yourself into your work was your coping mechanism of choice whenever shit hit the fan. You weren’t a bad worker on good days by any means, but today your boss told you more than once that you had exceeded any expectations they could have set. On a good day this would have thrilled you but today it fell on deaf ears and a numb heart.

It went fast though. Your shift came and went, you clocked out and as you stepped out under the front awning you cursed under your breath. It was pouring rain. You didn’t think to grab an umbrella in your haste, Changbin always picked you up from work unless he had something come up but he would always arrange a ride. He never let you walk home, especially not in the rain and especially not at night. But why would he come now? With the way you spoke to him, you half expected him to have packed and left. After all, everyone else you had been with had done so, even if you weren’t the one yelling in the first place. Sometimes, when some had stayed, you wish they left instead.

Tears stung your eyes, god you had fucked up. Finally you had someone who poured into you without expecting anything. Someone who listened and was gentle and cared. For a good while you felt like you were being pranked, because really, your track record of shit stains is short but brutal. Most didn’t get physical but they didn’t have too. It’s like half were personally trained to scar you in the most effective way. But changbin took those scars and turned them into little strokes of art. He healed parts you hadn’t realized were broken and filled spots you didn’t know where empty. Sure, th two of you had argued before, every couple has, but early on he made it clear what he expected in a disagreement and what you should expect of him. He didn’t yell, which if you knew Changbin, his normal volume was set to “annoy the hard of hearing” but the second the tone was serious, he handled it softly. He expressed how he felt, he listened to you and repeated it back to make sure he understood right. He taught you how to communicate with respect. Through him your fight or flight turned off for the first time, well, ever.

You knew he was different. But he had his limits too. And he deserved far better than what you had to offer. He shouldn’t be with someone who makes him worry like this. Who puts themselves at risk for serious medical emergencies just because they lack self control and healthy coping. And he certainly doesn’t deserve to be treated how he was.

So when your eyes met his across the parking lot you froze. He stood there leaning against his black car, an umbrella in hand. He smiled softly and jogged lightly over to meet you.

“You came?” You said, your voice mixed with surprise, confusion and relief. His brow furrowed slightly at your question, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“Y/n of course I came, i always do. You think I’d let you walk home when it’s raining enough to swim in?” He chucked lightly. His eyes scanned over your face. You could see the tiredness in his eyes and the stress written in his features.

“But after everything I said to you, after how i treated you … why did you stay?” Your eyes avoided his, you knew you wouldn’t last if you looked at him.

“Why did I stay?! Babe did you think I was going to leave just because you yelled at me?” He asked, rubbing circles into your jacket. He sighed deeply, “I know you well enough to know that there’s something else going on I don’t know about. Or I didn’t at least. I found the article on the bed when I went to change.”

You felt your breath catch in your throat. You forgot to hide it before you left. Changbin knew your past, but you still hated when he saw it. It was messy and ugly and hard to deal with and embarrassing as hell.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, why was he the one apologizing, “I know how hard that must have hit you. It’s no wonder you cracked.” His hand cupped your cheek and you leaned in involuntarily.

“Anyone in their right mind would have left me by now.” You blurted, hot tears escaped your eyes that fixated anywhere but him.

“Hey look at me,” he said softly, his hand guiding your jaw gently. His eyes were soft and warm, a deep furrow n his brow that you knew he did when you were particularly upset at something and he couldn’t beat the shit out of it. “Let me make this clear, even if i hadn’t found the article, I’d have stayed. Even if your dad showed up again and pissed on my clothes I’d have stayed. Even if you chain smoked an entire pack and wound up in the hospital, I’d have glued myself to you and then handed your ass to you on a platter when you got better, but I’d have stayed. Your baggage doesn’t scare me Y/n, neither does your temper or trauma responses. Losing you does. The second i tasted that smoke I felt like i was back in the hospital with the nurses trying to gently tell me that the combo of the asthma attack you had and the residue smoke in your lungs sent them in to overdrive and now you weren’t breathe on your own.” His thumb wiped a tear from your cheek, his own eyes threatening to break. “My biggest fear is losing you. It’s sounds so cliche but i was starting to pick where your grave plot would be and how to reserve two so I’d be with you. I’m in this with you more than I’ll ever be able to tell you.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, and cried softly and he rested his against yours. “Do you believe me?”

You nodded softly, “I am so sorry I yelled at you. And for saying what I said. I should have just told you when i found out. And i know better than to smoke, i just had found a pack with two left at the wrong moment and caved. I had no idea what else to, it felt so overwhelming to even think of his being out. My head was spinning, but that doesn’t mean i Can treat you like my dad would when he got bad news.”

“You aren’t your father, baby, never have you ever shown him in you. It’s a miracle someone like you can come from those two. I should have asked what brought you to that point before jumping to conclusions and yelling first. I know you wouldn’t have done it normally. I’m sorry too.” You placed a few quick kisses onto his lips and wrapped your arms around him, causing him to lace his free arm around the small of your back and pull you to him.

“I will never be able to show you how incredible you are, but I’ll die trying Changbin.” You smiled, even in the dark you could see his cheeks turn pink. “I love you an ungodly amount.”

“I love you too.” He kissed you, “i understand if you aren’t ready to talk about this yet, and I’ll understand with anything like this, but always find me and lean on me. You are safe with me ok?”

“Ok.” You chuckled, “Let’s go home?”

“Let’s go home,”

[jisungsdaydreamer]

황현진 BOYFRIEND HYUNJIN WHO...

bf! hyunjin who likes to squish your face and take pictures of you, so he can blackmail you by threatening to send them to everyone unless you give him a kiss.

bf! hyunjin who spams your instagram comment section whenever you post. "woah do you have a bf?" "all mine 😘"

bf! hyunjin who likes to copy your outfits and act like they're all his ideas

bf! hyunjin who makes spotify playlists to romanticize every moment he spends with you, whether its a road trip compilation or a midnight baking mix

bf! hyunjin who likes to send you red roses when he's far from home and adds fancy little handwritten notes for you to find

bf! hyunjin who brags about you to his friends and feels more proud than jealous when other boys admire you.

bf! hyunjin who changes your lock screen to a selfie of him when you're not looking, so you'll have a constant reminder of him

bf! hyunjin who complains about you stealing his sweatshirts but secretly loves to see you in his clothing

bf! hyunjin who sends you real love letters written on paper, instead of just text messages or emails

bf! hyunjin who pulls you outside so you can slow dance in the pouring rain

bf! hyunjin who likes to sketch you in his notebook whenever you aren't looking; when you're cooking, sleeping, or tapping away on your computer

bf! hyunjin who lets you try out new hairstyles on him and loves to post selfies of him all dolled-up, even if he has sparkly pink bows in his hair

bf! hyunjin who buys your perfume and sprays it on his pillow when you're not with him and he misses you

bf! hyunjin who buys a ring only a few months into dating and hides it in his closet for when he thinks you're ready, because that's just how much he loves you.

[skzstannie]

Hii it’s okay if you can’t but I was wondering if you could do a skz x 9th member reader where she was in a car crash as well as the others? But she was badly injured as well and had to be looked after by chan because she wasn’t in good condition? Totally okay if you can’t thanks❤️

"You're awake!"

SKZ-> ot8 x 9th member!reader (Chan-centric)

genre: angst, hurt/comfort wc: ~3,200 cw: some cussing, car accident, reader and skz get hurt

summary: ^^ see request

A/N: Hello! Not super happy with how this came out, but I hope you still like it anon! Started a new semester, so updates will be less frequent, but I'll still be lurking in everyone's feed through likes and reblogs 👀

Masterlist | Happy Scrolling!

"I'm just saying, if penguin's could fly, I think they'd take over the world."

"Felix, literally what are you talking about?" you give him a strange look from where you're seated diagonal from him in the car.

"If penguins ever learned to fly, I think they'd try to overthrow the government in a vengeful fury."

You all sit in silence for a moment, trying to preserve the last of your braincells from deteriorating.

"Okay..." Seungmin responds, quirking his eyebrow at him.

"I am so excited for tonight!" you break the silence that settles, practically vibrating in your seat from the excitement.

"We know, you haven't stopped talking about it," Minho boredly comments, his phone lighting up his face from the shadowy back seat.

Jeongin throws an elbow in his side from where he's seated beside him, earning himself a nasty glare from the man. "Don't be mean to Ynnie, she's just excited to perform."

"I'm so sorry. Let me rephrase that," he clears his throat, setting his phone down in his lap, "Oh my gosh, I know! It's all you've talked about since this morning!" he squeaks, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," you mumble, rolling your eyes at your grumpy member.

Before Minho has the chance to respond, your entire world is shaken when another car T-bones you from the right.

Time seems to slow down as the car is flipped, sending you out of your seat towards the ceiling of the car. Your seatbelt manages to control some of the damage to your head, but it slices into your neck from the pressure. Blood starts to drip out of your wound, but you don't even feel it as your hazy gaze travels over to your members.

Your breath hitches in your throat as your eyes land on Felix's still body in the back seat, his eyelids draped shut. He doesn't appear to have any other injuries, but you're immediately ripped away from the sight of Felix when you hear Minho groan in pain. You Jeongin a quick once over, and upon seeing no visible injuries, keep your eyes moving. You don't miss the way Jeongin's hands are firmly grasped around Felix's forearm as he shakes the older man, trying to wake him.

It's painful to twist in your seat, but you do so anyway. Catching a glimpse of Minho, you see a jagged piece of glass protruding out of his forearm. It appears small, but you know it must still hurt like a bitch. Other than that he looks okay, so you continue to look over your remaining members. His eyes are panicked as he frantically looks over the four of you. "You guys ok?" his voice shakes with fear, and his teeth are clenched from the pain radiating from the glass in his arm.

The ringing in your ears starts to subside a bit, and the grunts coming from your right get louder. Seungmin's arm is twisted at an unnatural angle, and there's blood dripping from his left eyebrow. You can't bring yourself to answer Minho, the shock still clouding your mind.

As the rest of your senses start to come back to you, your focus remains on Seungmin as he huffs in pain. You feel a stinging sensation in your thigh, but as you slowly start to drop your head to look, you feel a shaky finger reach under your chin.

Seungmin's reached his hand out, gently pulling your chin until your eyes meet his again.

"Just keep looking at me, Yn," he whispers. You do as you're told, but the pain is worsening by the second, and your breathing starts to quicken.

All else is tuned out as your eyes remain on Seungmin's unwavering gaze.

Seconds feel like hours as you sit there in the car. Your eyelids start to become heavy, and you fuzzily catch Seungmin's eyes turn frantic as your blinks become slower and more frequent.

"Just keep your eyes open, don't fall asleep," he repeats. His word are gentle at first, but as your mind turns to mud, his voice becomes louder and urgent, almost screaming at you. You feel a rough hand grab your shoulder from behind, shaking you. Their attempts to keep you awake are futile, though, as everything becomes too much for you to handle.

"No, don't close your eyes! Stay with me!" and that's the last thing you hear before you drift off into the darkness.

~ ~ ~

You're awoken to the sound of quiet repetitive beeping.

Opening your eyes is a task all in itself, your eyelids feeling impossibly heavy.

After a moment of struggle, you're met with the bright light from a window to your right. You slowly turn your head to the side, and you see Hyunjin, Chan, and Changbin all perched on the couch. It looks uncomfortable, the way all three of them are scrunched up on the little loveseat.

You let your gaze linger on them for a moment, their presence providing a calming sensation for your jumbled mind.

Suddenly, your surroundings overwhelm you. You become terribly aware of all the wires connected to you. The ECG stickers become your biggest enemy, and the IV sticking out of your hand makes you angry.

Really angry.

You groan when you try to lift your arm, a sharp, shooting pain radiating down from your shoulder. You push through the pain though, urgent to remove all these wires from your body. The bandages littering your body feel as if they're burning your skin, and you've never needed to get something off of you faster.

You begin to peel the bandages from your arms, the pain from the adhesive no match for the pain you had been feeling previous to their removal.

Your agonistic groans manage to wake Changbin, and he panics when he sees you frantically tearing at your ECG stickers.

He jumps up from the couch, earning a yelp from Hyunjin as he was using Changbin as a pillow.

You're too overwhelmed to care about their actions as you continue to tear at your skin, even the blankets covering your body feeling like burning coals on your skin.

"Woah, what are you doing? You can't take those off yet," Changbin tells you, rushing to your side to try and restrain your arms.

"They're hurting me," you mumble, wretching your arms out of Changbin's grip to continue to pull at everything that touches you.

"Yn," Hyunjin gasps, quickly standing to his feet, running over to help Changbin.

Chan awakens from the commotion, alarm bells immediately sounding in his head when he sees your panicked movements.

You become more frantic when Hyunjin grabs one of your arms from Changbin, rendering you immobile.

"Get off!" you screech, yanking on your arms as hard as you can. Chan quickly runs out of the room in search of any healthcare professional he can find.

"You're gonna hurt yourself," Hyunjin struggles against you, holding tightly onto your hand.

"Let me go!" you continue to scream like a banshee, "You're hurting me!"

Neither do as you say, fearing for what you'll do to yourself if they listen.

"You're ok," Changbin pleads, bringing one of his hands away from your arm to rest it gently on your forehead. "Please calm down, everything will be ok."

You're too panicked to notice Chan re-enter the room, a nurse trailing in behind him.

She has a shot in her hand, and she hurriedly comes up beside Changbin to administer the drug. She hastily inserts the needle into your upper arm, and it only takes seconds for your demeanor to soften. Your thrashing becomes weaker, and your shouts become quieter, turning into soft mumbles.

The guys let out a sigh upon seeing your eyes close, your stature finally relaxing into the hospital bed once again.

"What the hell was that?" Hyunjin huffs, slightly out of breath from the physical altercation.

"Sometimes patients can be violent when they wake up out of a coma. It can happen to anyone," the nurse explains, taking the chart off the wall beside the bed. "We'll get some soft restraints to put on her arms before she wakes up again. It's unlikely for her to panic again, but it's just a precaution."

The guys nod, all three of them staring at your now peaceful face.

~ ~ ~

The next time you wake up, you feel as if you're experiencing deja vu. Your eyes open slowly, and you wince at the feeling of them being crusted over from sleep.

You also become strikingly aware of the aching pain radiating from your thigh. Your leg remains immobile, and you feel the constricting cast running from your mid thigh down to your ankle.

You go to bring your hand up to rub your face, but your movements are restricted. Your attention is brought to your hands, now laying limply by your side. There are restraints covering your wrists. Your face contorts into an expression of confusion, and you glance at the couch to your right.

Seated there are Chan, Hyunjin, and Changbin. Your deja vu hits you harder when you see them resting against one another, sleeping soundly.

"Chan," you call out to him, your voice surprisingly hoarse, your throat scratchy and raw.

He immediately jolts up, waking the other two in the process.

"Hey, you're awake," he says, getting up from the couch.

He's cautious as he walks over to you, taking slow steps to get to your bed. Changbin and Hyunjin watch from the couch, keeping their distance. Their expressions rival Chan's, somehow looking even more timid.

"Hi," you suddenly feel shy under their gazes, "Why are you looking at me like that? I can't even move; can we get these things off of me."

"Yea, sorry, the nurse said it was just precautionary. I'll go get someone to take them off of you," Hyunjin gets up from the couch, hurrying out into the hallway.

Realization dawns on you, and you bring your eyes to meet Chan's again. "Did I hurt someone? What happened?"

"You were trying to hurt yourself," a nurse enters the room, answering the question for Chan. "You were in a coma for a couple days. Sometimes, when patients wake, they can turn aggressive. Which you did, but nobody was hurt, the boys stopped you before you could do any damage."

You just nod, not entirely sure how to respond. She explains in more detail what had happened as she takes the restraints off your wrists.

"We had to sedate you, so you were out for an additional day. On the bright side, your coma allowed for your body to do some of the tough healing while you were unconscious. You had a surgery on your thigh the night you were brought in due to a compound fracture in your femur. The surgery was successful. It seems to be doing well for now, of course we'll have to bring you back in for some check-ups, but you should be good to go for now."

Your eyes widen as she goes on and on. Chan sits beside you, rubbing a hand up and down your back to help comfort you. The nurse continues about the paperwork, and leaves to gather it so you can leave.

"How are you feeling?" Changbin asks from the end of your bed.

"Overwhelmed," you answer curtly. The thought of not being able to perform for a while hurts your heart. Not only that, but you can't even walk!

Your suddenly hit with a wave of memories from the night of the accident, and your eyes water at the thought of the rest of your members who were in the car with you.

"Are the other guys alright? Where are they?" your voice is panicked as you ramble off questions.

"They're ok, we promise," Chan reassures you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "They went home a couple days ago to rest. None of them got hurt as badly as you did. They all got some stitches, Seungmin's got a broken arm, and Felix has a pretty nasty concussion, but they're ok."

You sigh in relief, allowing your head to rest on Chan's shoulder.

The nurse comes back in, a folder filled with paperwork in hand. "As soon as you fill these out, you'll be good to go! Your medications and dosages are in this little baggy. You had some lacerations on your side, but we just covered them with butterfly bandages. The stitches on your neck can be taken out at your next appointment. Just be weary of them as you go about your day, try not to turn your head too quickly," she instructs, handing over the paperwork.

Within a few minutes, everything is filled out and you've been put in a wheelchair. Chan stands behind you, wheeling you out towards the van. Hyunjin carries your crutches from beside you, and Changbin holds your medicine and the paperwork.

Getting in the car was a hassle all in itself, as your leg felt like a million pounds with the cast on it. Your hip was so sore from laying in bed for so long, so you opted to have Chan lift you into the car.

Once finally settled, you lean back against the seat and close your eyes. You don't want to admit it, but you know these next few months are going to be difficult.

~ ~ ~

It's been a few weeks now, and things have started to go back to how they were before the accident. This is the first regularly scheduled week since then, and you're grateful for the normalcy.

Your managers had put everything on hold for a while, allowing you and the rest of your members to recover some. They knew it was a difficult time for all of you, and you were thankful for their leniency.

You have been spending most of your time on the downstairs couch, lounging around in front of the T.V. Various members would join you throughout the day, helping you with whatever you needed. Chan has certainly been the most doting, running at your every beck and call.

Today was no different; Chan decided to stay home with you while the rest of the members went to dance practice. He knew it'd probably put him behind, but they weren't set to perform for a good while, so he'll just catch up a different day. Plus, he knows Minho can handle them all just fine without him there.

The two of you are lounging on the couch, watching one of your favorite T.V shows, when Chan gets up to use the bathroom.

You hear the door close, and realize now's your chance. Your stomach's been growling for the past hour, but you didn't want to make Chan make you something.

However, you are done being the world's longest lounging couch potato, so you rise to your feet, grabbing your crutches from beside you, and make your way into the kitchen.

You know you don't have long before Chan finds you, so you ravage through the fridge quickly to try and find something to eat. You see your leftovers from the other night neatly packed away, so you grab those.

You carefully set your crutches down, leaning them on the counter next to you before hopping, leftovers in hand, to the microwave.

Unfortunately, the rug in front of the sink slips beneath you, and you fall onto the ground, your leftovers opening and spilling out onto you.

"Oh for fuck's sake," you sigh. Thankfully, you're not hurt, your butt just a little sore, but some of the sauce now decorates your cast.

You hear the door fling open from down the hall, and a frantic Chan bursts into the kitchen a mere second later. "What are you doing?" he's panicked as he rushes over to you, his arms looping under yours to pull you up.

"I was just going to heat these up because I was hungry, but then I slipped. I'm fine," you lightly push Chan away from you, knowing fully well that you can stand on your own.

He looks slightly taken back by your attitude, but nevertheless moves towards you again. He wraps his arms around you in an attempt to pick you up, no doubt to carry you back into your permanent spot on the living room couch, but you give him a firmer shove this time. "Did I hurt you?" he worries, his eyebrows scrunching.

"No, I just want to walk to the bathroom myself and get cleaned up," you explain, doing your best to keep your composure.

"I can help, let me grab you a wash rag for your cast," he bends down next to you, rummaging through the cupboard.

"Chan, please," you sigh. As much as you loved being babied at first, enough is enough. "I need some time by myself. I love you guys, but I'm not sure I've had a moment alone since the accident." Your arms are crossed as he stands, a pout forming on his face.

"But we just want to help you," he says, puppy-dog eyes on full display.

"And I thank you for all you guys have done the past month, but I really need to start doing things for myself again," you reach past him, grabbing your crutches and head down the hall to your bathroom. "Now to get this sauce off me," you mumble as you push the door open with the end of your crutch.

~ ~ ~

You're laying on your bed later in the day, knee propped up on a plump pillow to help alleviate some of the pain from your aching leg, when you hear a knock on door.

You tell them to come in, and the door opens to reveal Chan. "Hi," he's timid as he walks in. He takes a seat on the edge of your bed, a guilty look on his face.

"What's up?" you ask, sliding your bookmark into the crease of your novel.

"I wanted to apologize on behalf of all of us. We've been really clingy since the accident, and we didn't realize we were overstepping."

"Chan," you sigh, adjusting yourself to sit next to him. "Please don't beat yourself up about this. Honestly, I was just a little frustrated earlier and took it out on you. You guys have helped me more than you know these last few weeks. I really don't mind all the doting."

His eyes light up at that. "Really?" his voice is giddy, and you regret that you were the cause of his sadness before.

While the overprotectiveness really did get on your nerves a bit, if it brings them that much happiness to take care of you, you suppose you can get past your grumpiness and let them do it.

"Really."

"Guys, she changed her mind!" he yells, and not even a second later, your door swings open, seven smiling faces staring back at you.

They hurry into your room, clumsily fighting each other to sit on your bed. They're still cautious of your leg, but they all manage to fit, even if a little squished.

"Don't make me regret this," you joke, ruffling Seungmin's hair from where he's laid out on your lap.

"You know you love us," Chan comments, smirking at you.

"I certainly do."

[yongbokkari]

interrupted ₊˚. ୭̥

𖦹 pairing — bf!seungmin x reader

𖦹 word count — 1.5k+

𖦹 warnings — hurt/comfort, fluff, slight angst, veeeery small misunderstanding, pet names of babe and baby, seungmin had a bad day and accidentally released it on reader 😿🙏🏻🙏🏻

a/n — result of sentences formed on multiple of 3 am-s (also posting this at 3 am), hope you enjoyyy <33 oh and there may be a few like undercase letters lolol we'll see if i am willing to find them

You were resting on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone, waiting for Seungmin to arrive. As soon as you heard the sound of keys jangling, you immediately got up and opened the door before he could even try to unlock it.

You were standing there, waiting for him to come in, but he judt stared at you as if not expecting to see you. "You're here," he said, his face full of signs of exasperation, tired after a long day at work.

"Am i not supposed to?" You joked, raising your eyebrows. but he just muttered a 'nevermind' before walking past you. "Long day?" you asked, attempting to make conversation with him, in hopes that it could distract him from the tiredness.

"Yeah. Think im gonna shower then take a nap," You had made a joke then, about him getting old and acting like an old man, attempting to lighten his mood. "Whatever," he replied to your jokes, making his way to his bedroom and you followed.

"Ah, come on. Old man can't take a joke anymore?" You giggled, poking at his sides when he just stopped in his tracks and turned to you.

"Can you just stop? I'm already having a bad enough day so you can you please stop bothering me?" He snapped, eyes tired but also glaring at you at the same time.

You were shook by the slight raise and edge to his voice so you couldn't really think of anything to reply to him. A few moments passed with you just staring at him and him you.

"Why are you even here," You heard Seungmin mutter before turning away from you, closing the bedroom door and leaving you alone.

"Right," you said to yourself. "Why am i even here?" it wasn't unusual for you to appear at Seungmin's house at random times, and he even made a spare key for you. But that didn't mean you could just come whenever you wanted to.

You gathered your things and got out of the house to drive yourself home. You weren't mad at him, far from it even. Of course you weren't, you didn't have the right to be.

You were more worried about what he said though. Were you really bothering him? Should you just stop going to his house unannounced again? You probably should. He probably just gave you a key just in case he lost his.

When you got home, you immediately started an assignment that was put on hold for quite long, hoping that it could distract you. It seemed seungmin had wanted some distance and space, so you were set on working on it until he reached out so you'd know when it was okay between you.

˖❁ˎˊ•°.

You were typing away on your laptop, earphones plugged in, slightly bobbing your head to the song playing, when you heard a knock on the door. You yelled, allowing your housemate to come in. Except it wasn't her, and when you turned back you were surprised to see your boyfriend with a frown on his face.

"Min?" You paused the song and took off your earphones, turning around to your boyfriend directly behind you. "Min, what are you doing here?"

"Why didn't you answer my texts?" He asked, ignoring your question. he looked absolutely tired, you wondered if he even got to sleep before coming here.

"Texts? My phone..." You looked around the desk you were working on, searching for your phone, discovering that it was on your bed. So you walked over to pick it up to check your notifications but the screen remained dark as you pressed the power button. "Ah... my battery ran out," You lightly chuckled, looking at Seungmin.

"Why didn't you charge your phone then?" He asked, his facial expression serious. It almost scared you how serious he looked, worrying if he had texted you about something important.

"I didn't notice my battery was low... and i was using my laptop for work, so i didn't check," You gestured to the laptop sitting on the desk. "Did you have something important to tell me? I'm so sorry Min, for not being there, I-" Your words were cut off when seungmin just pulled you in for a hug. You immediately wrapped your arms around his waist.

"So you're not ignoring me?" He asked. Usually, you were the one who had to reach up slightly to hug him since he always insisted on seeing you on the tip of your toes. But this time it was him who lowered his body, tucking his chin on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Min, why would i ignore you?" You asked, genuinely curious as to how he had come to that thought. Then he sighed, as if relieved his worries were only what-ifs afterall. You started to rub his back then, and he had started to give in to your body warmth, almost letting his whole weight fall into your care.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did."

You racked your brains for a while, honestly having forgotten about what happened back at his house.

"Oh, that? You don't need to apologize, Min. You were tired, I understand."

"No, it was unreasonable. I shouldn't have let my tiredness out on you," He insisted.

"Then it's fine, I forgive you," you replied, to which he silently thanked you by placing a soft kiss on your shoulder, still not breaking the hug. "But... do you really think so?" He hummed, questioning what you meant. "Do i really bother you?" he slowly pulled away, looking at your face.

"I won't get mad or upset Min, i promise. I don't want you to ever feel uncomfortable because of me. So just tell me what you feel, and I'll act on it, I promise." You said, holding his hands in yours, affirming him that whatever his reply was, you were going to be fine and it won't cause even a slight damage to the relationship, if that was what he was worried about.

He only looked at you then, eyes darting from your left eye to the right, back and forth, mouth a bit downturned, and you were starting to get afraid that what you said made him upset when he cradled your left cheek in his hand.

"You're so good to me," he muttered, frown slightly deepening. "No, i didn't mean it, I don't know why I said that," he threw his head back and blew from his mouth, like he always did when he was about to but didn't want to cry.

He hugged you again pressing his nose even more into the crook of your neck, his eyebrows furrowing at his efforts to not cry. "I'm so sorry babe. You'd never be a bother to me, never. I- I love it when you wait for me to come home, I always do, but today I just- Today was so hard that I just-" He choked on his own breath so you pat his back, trying to get him to calm down. After gaining a steady breathing again, he asked, "Did I hurt you?"

"Well... A bit, but I knew you would never say that without a reason. My sweet boy would never," You chuckled, your hands patting his head, your fingers going through his hair.

He pulled away, meeting your eyes. "I'm so sorry," His eyes were slightly red, the bags under his eyes more prominent now you were seeing them upclose.

"Don't cry, Min, it's okay," You wiped the tears stained on his cheeks, caressing his under eyes. "Did you get any sleep? You look tired, my poor baby," You coo, trying to lighten the mood.

He shook his head. "I couldn't. Was thinking of you," Your heart ached at his soft eyes looking at yours like a puppy lost.

"Oh baby," He leaned into your hand that was cradling his cheek. "Should we get some now? Hm?" When he nodded, you continued, "You go lay down first, I'll go turn off my laptop."

As soon as you reached the bed, Seungmin took you in his arms, your head resting on his chest while one of his hands was on your waist, the other in your hair. Yours were wrapped tightly around his waist, melting into his warm embrace, contrast to your cold skin.

Suddenly he took one of your hands, his thumb caressing the back of it. "Thank you, Y/n, for always thinking of me... I love you."

You raised your head to look at him. "I love you too, Min." You pecked his lips, smiling softly, before laying your head atop his chest again. "Now sleep. Who should I look at after this if you really do turn into an old man?"

He lightly chuckled, pressing a kiss onto the top of your head, as you slowly drift into sleep, hand in hand.

Seungmin wanted to show you how in love with you he was. Everything about you he adored and cherished and he was always on the verge of combusting from how much love for you he contains. Maybe someday that day will come, but for now he'll slowly take small steps into making that moment come true.

[mixtape-racha]

beside you | hwang hyunjin

☆ part 4/8 of the 5 seconds of stray kids series ☆

words: 706 // warnings: long distance, idol!hhj on tour, hurt comfort

“my heart wants to come home, angel. i miss you.”

“oh, hyunie… i wish i was beside you.”

the beeping of a facetime call on your computer startled you out of the book you were reading, grinning as you saw the name appear on the screen. finally, after a few long and draining days, hyunjin had a chance to call you for longer than 5 minutes.

it was hard when he was on tour, you were both such touchy and affectionate people that not being close really took its toll. not having him there to cuddle in bed after a long day, not having someone to laugh with at a stupid movie over dinner. it was tough, but so worth it. he loved his job and you’d never take that away from him.

you sat down quickly at your computer desk, a blanket wrapped around your shoulders before you accepted the call, the sight of your boyfriend appearing large across the screen. you grinned, the relief and pure joy on his face enough to have tears brimming in your eyes.

“hi, baby. missed you.” he smiled, his head rested on the pillow of his hotel bed as he laid down, taking in all of your appearance on his phone screen.

“missed you more, love.” you replied, reaching down to pick up kkami off the floor by your desk. “i think he’s missing you too. wouldn’t let me take your hoodie off the couch because he wanted to sleep on it.”

hyunjin cooed at that, his lips forming a pout as he took a screenshot of kkami snuggled into your chest.

“i miss my babies so much. it’s been too long, i need you both in my arms right now.”

“not much longer, pretty boy. then we’re all yours. every day of your break, we can spend cuddling or lounging around watching movies. anything your heart desires.”

hyunjin couldn’t hide his grin at your words, but it quickly faltered back into a pout. he sighed softly, hiding his face in his pillow which caused you to frown.

“what’s wrong, angel? talk to me.”

“i just–” he huffed, trying to carefully pick his words to get his point across effectively. “its tough. its shit, honestly. i miss you, and being away from you is so hard. i struggle sleeping without you, and even changbin’s sick of being my temporary cuddle buddy now.”

while he tried to make a joke out of it, you knew him better than anyone. you could see how exhausted he was, and not just physically. so, even though being across the globe stung, you had to be strong for him.

“hyunjin, listen to me, baby. its what– 2 weeks and 4 days until you come home. it’ll fly by, i promise. every day will be filled of seeing the happy faces of stays, and we’ll be at the airport to meet you the second you land. you’ve got this, my strong, beautiful, amazing boy, if not for anyone else, then for me and kkami.”

he nodded at your words, obviously taking them to the best of his ability. he knew you were right, after all, and you were always good at giving him confidence without dismissing his emotions. he was thankful for that.

“can we stay on the call until i fall asleep? might give me a chance of getting to sleep at a decent time.” he joked, a small smile reappearing on his face.

“of course, baby. anything for you.” you instantly responded, rooting around in one of your desk drawers for a book. “what about i read to you, hmm?”

he nodded erratically, making you laugh a little.

and so you did, reading him to sleep. you’d barely got 3 chapters in before his soft snores came through your computer speakers, which made you giggle softly. you pulled out your phone to snap a photo, before texting chan and asking him to keep an eye on hyunjin for you.

then you stared longingly at the screen for a moment, a smile gracing your lips.

“2 weeks, baby. i love you so much.”

then you hung up the call, getting up to potter around the apartment. if you kept yourself busy, the time would fly, you knew it. and before you knew it you would be reunited with your favorite boy.

taglist: join taglists here @pretty-racha @skz-streamer @hyunjiins @backintomykpopphaseagain @demetrisscarf

[slvt4felix]

I Could Never Hate You

Pairing -> ninth member!reader x Lee Minho WC -> ~3,300 words Includes -> hurt/comfort, angst, enemies to lovers, hyunjin's a meanie, reader has anxiety, minho struggles with his feelings, cringy nickname use, yelling, swearing Summary -> The rest of the group members are over the silly rivalry between you and Minho. They decide to take matters into their own hands. However, their little game takes a turn for the worse when one of the members betrays your trust. Some may call it destiny…the way it leads you straight into the arms of the one you would never expect. Author's Note -> This is my first time posting on here, so hopefully this isn't too rough. Also, I swear I don’t hate Hyunjin. I love him to death. It was just necessary for the plot… anywaysss hope you enjoy!!

Masterlist ♡ Next Part

“I swear to God if you guys don’t open this door right now!” You yell as you pound on the hotel room down the hall from yours. There hasn’t been a reply, but you know that Hyunjin and Felix are in there. The two of them are always locked in their hotel rooms the night before your shows. They try to get as much sleep as possible for the next day.

‘They are definitely laughing their asses off right now,’ you think to yourself. It was just a stupid prank to them. Something to get you and Minho to finally get along again, but they just don’t get it. You had tried for so long to make it work, but Minho was just too stubborn. For heaven’s sake, you guys used to be the best of friends. One day he just started being cruel. Ignoring your texts, saying snarky things under his breath, scoffing every time you accidentally messed a move up. It escalated to the point where you no longer talk anymore. Truly, it is not your fault and they don’t seem to get it. He refuses to say anything about what happened, completely disregarding the fact that you were ever close enough to share your deepest secrets.

You turn around to leave, realizing the two boys were probably never going to open the door. You hear the lock click and spin back to see the annoyingly beautiful face of Felix. Although he wasn’t outright laughing at you, he was putting little effort in trying to hide his smile.

“Hey, what are you so upset for? I didn’t notice anything wrong on the bus earlier?” Felix asks. You just stare back dumbfounded.

“Why the fuck would you ever put me in a room with him?” you spit pushing past Felix into his room, “Don’t you dare look at me like that, you know how he treats me.”

Hyunjin just looks at you from his spot on a queen bed closest to the window. He looks shocked, as if he hadn’t expected you to actually put up a fight against the sleeping arrangements.

"How is that our fault?" Hyunjin questions. He seems like he may be genuinely asking, but you know him better than that. You have always been closer to him than the other members, especially after all the things that went down with Minho. Hyunjin was always the one to comfort you. The first to step up when your anxiety got to be too much. So, it was obvious that the members did have something to do with it, and it wasn't just an unfortunate fluke.

"I saw the way you guys all ran to claim your rooms while I was still collecting my suitcase. Don't act stupid. I know you know what's going on," you say back in hopes to get him to at least explain what their plan was. Maybe you could reason with them and get one of the boys to switch. Heck, you'd even be willing to sleep on the couch in Hyunjin and Felix's room, but it's starting to seem like they don't even want you in their room in the first place.

You hear Felix close the door behind you, but it's all blocked out as you watch Hyunjin roll his eyes at you. While this may seem like a typical Hyunjin action, it just didn't feel right. He tries to be more gentle with you than the other boys. After confiding many of your secrets and insecurities in him, he knows to control his face around you. Yet, it's beginning to look like he's forgotten all about that tonight.

"Yeah, I'm the stupid one..." he mumbles under his breath. With every sentence exchanged, the tension in the room grows thicker. You almost feel bad putting the other poor boy in the room through this. You can practically feel him stiffen with every word spoken.

"Hyunjin-" Felix starts but is cut off by a sharp look from the man himself. You know it's starting to go too far if Felix is getting upset, but Hyunjin doesn't seem to care.

"Why are you so angry right now?" you ask him, praying the question doesn't fire him up more. Maybe he's just having a really bad day, or maybe he just wants to be alone and can't deal with your problems.

"I'm not angry," he starts, "you're just making a big deal out of absolutely nothing." By the end of it he begins to raise his voice, another thing he knows you aren't a fan of. You take a step back, a little confused at his ignorance. He's been with you through all the fights, why doesn't he understand how big of a deal this is to you?

As you're still trying to make sense of his previous statement, his voice quiets down, and he looks back down at his phone as he whispers, "Just like you always do."

"What is that even supposed to mean?" you ask, scared for the response. He glances up sharply, making true eye contact for the first time tonight.

"You're always crying over stupid shit, and I really can't handle it anymore,” he states angrily, his eyes not leaving yours the entire time. He finally breaks eye contact, and the tension explodes, painting the whole room red.

As dramatic as it sounds, it's like a knife to your heart, or perhaps more accurately a stab in the back. You know exactly what he means by that. It's like he was aiming for your most sensitive spots. With your anxiety, you tend to panic over things that don't usually matter much in other people's minds. Every time you have an anxiety attack or are just freaking out about something, you usually try to hide it. You worry that your friends won't take you seriously or will make fun of you over something they consider 'not a big deal'. You've confided in Hyunjin over this topic before. He's helping you get over that and come to them when you need help. So why is he now turning on you? Was it all an act before?

You feel your eyes start to tear up, but you hold them back. He cannot see you cry.

"Fuck you," you say, attempting to put venom behind it, but all that comes out is your shaky voice.

"Y/n, wait," Felix says sympathetically as you go to leave the room. Normally, you would stop and let Felix comfort you, but suddenly everything is feeling just a little too heavy and you can't seem to look him in the eye any longer. You stride out of the room, keeping your shoulders straight without even glancing back. You just need to stay strong until you make it into the hallway. You slam the door behind you despite typically being the one to argue when the other members to it. Your eyes are blurring too fast at this point to even recognize the fact that you probably should've shut it a bit quieter. It is a hotel and noise complaints are a thing, but, honestly, that is the least of your worries at the moment. You just keep replaying back the fight in your head trying to figure out what you did wrong. It had to be something, right?

You start down the hallway, cursing when you realize your room is at the other end of the hall. You hope the other boys can't hear your sobs, especially the two you just departed from. As much as you want to be comforted, it feels like you're past the point of no return and just want to be alone. You try to stifle your cries a bit with your hand, but it doesn't do much. You're heads getting a little too light, you're breathing getting harder to control. Your hands are shaking, and it seems like the crying is just starting. Some may call you sensitive, but when the tears start you simply begin to spiral. There's very little that can calm you down at that point. Hyunjin usually has to take you somewhere and help you take deep breaths especially before your concerts. But he's the one who started this mess. So, what are you supposed to do now?

You finally make it to your hotel room, barely being able to read the numbers, and you start to dig around in your pockets. You start to panic as you struggle to find your key card, but eventually you grasp the small rectangular piece of plastic and open the door.

Once inside, you shut the door, a bit calmer this time, and fall back against it. The only thing on your mind being the fact that you are finally in your own room, alone. You put your hands over your face, trying to quiet some of your senses. In the haste to get out of the situation, you completely failed to remember the problem that had started it all.

Minho is sitting in one of the beds; he had plenty of time to choose considering you just dropped your suitcase off and stormed off upon realizing the two of you would be rooming together. He's all cozy in his sweat pants and t-shirt, obviously thankful for your abrupt disappearance. He looks up, shocked to see you re-entering the room. He plans to make a jab of some sort, but immediately pauses upon seeing your state. It seems like you haven't even noticed that he's in there yet. He's never really seen you like this before, or at least not since he started pushing you away. Putting that aside, he accepts defeat realizing that you need someone. You need him.

Your eyes are covered as you cry quietly into your hands, pushing your head back into the wood behind you. You flinch slightly upon feeling strong arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you away from the hard door. However, you soon relax into the arms, enjoying the feeling of safety flood your system. The man is warm and gentle as he presses you against him, pushing your head into the crook of his neck.

"Follow my breathing," he whispers in your ear, sending goosebumps from your head to your toes. You try to listen to him, but all of your senses are so overwhelmed that you can't seem to focus on anything. Feeling like a fool, you begin to cry harder, immediately sending you back to the fight with Hyunjin.

"Honey," he starts, "you just have to take a deep breath. I don't want you to pass out on me." Hearing the quiet voice in your ear helps bring your mind back to the present. Trying to focus on the instructions, you begin to notice the chest rising and falling slowly against yours. You can even feel the man's calm heart beat against your racing one.

Following the normally simple order, you try to take a deeper inhale resulting in a few hiccups and more tears. One of the arms around your shoulder falls and his hand begins to rub your back gently. As you focus on the sensation, your breathing starts to even out, just as Minho had hoped.

Once you are in a slightly better state, he moves you over to the bed. Setting you down on the edge, he kneels in front of you and softly pulls your hands away from your face. You instinctively bow your head, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to keep from facing the man in front of you.

Minho reaches his hand out, bringing your face back up towards his. You slowly open your eyes at the gentle touch. He's looking right back at you, a soft expression covering his face. He hasn't looked at you like that in years. He practically lights up when your eyes meet his.

A smile grows on his face, as he quietly says, "There you go, kitten." Your face flushes at the nickname, and you hear Minho giggle softly at your blushing cheeks. He used to call you that all the time. A fan had once greeted the two of you at a fan meet saying how you both had the same energy as cats. So from that day on, he had called you that nickname constantly, earning well-deserved teasing from the other boys. Yet, it had all stopped out of nowhere.

'He doesn't care about you anymore,' you remind yourself. You pull away from him roughly and stand up from the bed. You take a few steps away from him, the comfort you had felt being ripped away in seconds. This was too confusing. He can't ignore you for years and suddenly act normal. That isn't how this works.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" you ask him, just wanting some sort of explanation. He slowly stands up, his soft look from before transforming into a look of pure regret.

"What are you talking about? You're upset and I care about you," he calmly explains, obviously ignoring the elephant in the room. But you can see it in his eyes; the nerves, the regret, and the sadness painting itself across his irises.

"You hate me,” you say, leaving no room for discussion. You were sick of being left in the dark and being turned on. You just want to know, what happened?

"You don't really believe that do you?" he asks as his body language changes. He reaches a hand up, pulling a little too roughly against his hair as he looks down at the ground.

"I mean-" you start to say but are cut off by a small sniffle coming from across you.

The culprit looks up at you again, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Minho never cries. It's just one of those things. So he wipes them away and says the last words you would ever imagine him speaking to you.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers genuinely, "I never meant to make you feel that way, but I guess that's what it's come to, hasn't it?"

You stand stiffly, staring at him. You had never seen the man look so defeated. You are even more confused about where the two of you stand than you have ever been.

"But I don't get it, you're just so mean. I don't know how you couldn't hate me."

"I could never hate you,” he states staring at you. His eyes are so deep that you can see exactly what he's feeling, and you realize, this is it. He's an open book. This may be the one time you get to see under the surface of Lee Minho since those days of friendship all those years ago.

"Then why did you push me away?" you ask, taking advantage of his state.

"I was just so scared. I thought you would hate me if you found out..." he trails off. You simply wait for him to finish his sentence, but he never does. He just looks back at you in hopes that you understand what he's trying to say. A silence builds, and Minho takes a deep breath before continuing.

"I love you and I was just too scared in case it would ruin the group," he says, finally letting the truth escape after years of secrets. The shock of the statement leaves you speechless, simply staring at your old best friend.

After a few seconds of building tension, you can’t help but start to giggle, leading to near hysterics with more tears springing to your eyes. You had thought you had cried all of them out, but it looks like you were wrong. There's no way that's the reason. If only he had been honest with his feelings, then you would've never been in this situation in the first place.

He looks surprised at your laughing, and his whole body seems to deflate.

'Hopefully he doesn't think I'm laughing at him', you think. There's no way they had messed up communication that bad to let it get to this point.

"You should have said that, Minho. I was so in love with you," you state gently, trying not to bewilder the poor man. He looks up, and there's pure excitement on his face. It's beautiful to see compared to his earlier expressions, and you're reminded of all those little reasons you love him. All those reasons that have been buried down due to his obliviousness.

"Really?" he says, taking a step closer to you. Your cheeks heat up upon realizing that you really did just reveal one of your darkest secrets.

He takes another step closer, his face now only inches from yours. You feel his arms wrap sweetly around your waist. You glance down at his lips; they're slightly chapped, but honestly, it's just all part of what makes Minho, Minho. Your eyes go back up to meet his, and you can see the tension and nerves drawn upon his face. You quickly close the distance, making the decision you should have made all those years ago.

Minho doesn't pull away, instead immediately melting into the kiss, bringing one hand up to delicately cup your cheek. This may be one of the softest moments you have ever witnessed from Minho, and man do you want more.

You don't kiss for long, it's short and sweet, but it means so much more. Within it is everything you had wished you could've said to each other since the beginning.

You both pull back, a laugh leaving both of your mouths as you take in how outrageous the situation is. He pulls you close again, his head falling on your shoulder.

"I promise, I will never ever treat you like that again. You mean so much to me," he whispers. You bring a hand up to pet the back of his hair, pulling back just enough to give him a kiss on the cheek.

The two of you eventually pull away as your eyelids begin to droop. You realize how late it has gotten, neither of you noticing with all the drama that has unfolded. You quickly change into your pajamas and get ready to go to sleep.

You end up in the same bed with your head lying on his chest, his fingers running through your hair. Despite how sleepy you both feel, you know there is so much more to talk about and neither of you will be able to fall asleep.

Minho breaks the silence, asking you the dreaded question, "So, what happened? Did someone hurt you?"

"Hyunjin and I fought. He said some very hurtful things." I reply sadly, the memories of the fight resurfacing.

"You two are so close, I'm sure he didn't mean it. You know how upset he gets when we’re on tour for so long. He gets aggravated having to be around us all the time, but it was still messed up for him to be so mean to you."

You laugh at his response, "Yeah, like you can talk."

"Hey!" he says dramatically. You both giggle, and despite the tough topic, the tension seems to melt away. It always used to be that way with Minho. It's as if the two of you were made for each other. Everything just felt so much better and easier around him. Suddenly, everything in life was a lot sweeter.

"But seriously, don't worry about it too much, kitten. Felix will take care of it, and Hyunjinnie will be running back to you by the morning."

Part 2 out now!

[astraystayyh]

My sun

a little something for channie's birthday, inspired by this pic he sent :') basically chan is tired and you're his sun. hurt/comfort.

chan is exhausted. you could sense it before even seeing him- from the way he quietly dropped his keys onto the kitchen table, to how he refrained from turning on any lights on his way to your bedroom; as if trying to minimize his existence, to soften the sounds he leaves on his trail so the world would finally allow him to rest.

or maybe you simply knew from the way your heart constricted in your chest as soon as you heard him open the door to your apartment. you were worried about him all week, sensing that his soul felt a bit heavier for him to carry, harder to care for due to all the work piled up on him.

you hurry to your feet, meeting him halfway at the entrance to your room. his gaze softens the moment it lands on you, with slightly puffy eyes and discheveled ginger hair- he's beautiful, even when he's utterly tired.

"hey, baby," you greet, opening your arms wide for him. he sinks into your embrace, sighing softly when his forehead presses onto your shoulder blade. you rub your hands soothingly across his back, willing the tension in his body to dissipate, to desert his bones and seep into yours. you'd do it all to lessen his load, even if it meant adding onto your own.

"did you eat?" you ask after a while, your hand smoothing down the back of his hair. he simply shakes his head against your body, a slight exhale escaping him and traversing your skin, like stones skipping across a tranquil river.

"let's eat together, hm?" you suggest, gently peeling yourself away from him. "i've made you dinner."

he manages a tired smile in reply, and the light in his eyes still seemed muted to you. but you kiss his cheek and the corners of his mouth tug upward a bit more, and it's a slight progress you'd take.

you lead him by the hand to the kitchen, settling him on the stool before heating up the meal you've made beforehand. you quickly move around, plating the food and pouring him his favorite soft drink. your hand brushes against his shoulder silently as you sit down in front of him.

you both eat in silence, his warm palm pressed against your knee. you didn't always need words to fill your home- your love spoke louder than man-made syllables.

"thank you, honey," chan whispers when he's done, a smile gracing his plump lips. it's brighter, and the light in his eyes sparkles even more when you kiss him in reply. you can't help but press your lips against his again, and again, and again, hoping that with each kiss the lights would gradually turn on within him, one by one.

"you can shower while i clean up, okay?" you beam at him, lips still tantalizing close to one another. he tilts his head upwards, placing a kiss on your nose in gratitude.

some time later, chan climbs onto your bed, the smell of his shampoo tickling your nostrils. he's wearing a black crewneck, the one you've heated up beforehand for him. you hoped that the warmth from the soft material would seep into his soul, igniting candles where the rain seems to have finally ceased.

you retrieve your moisturizer from your nightstand, before straddling chan's lap. he shifts slightly, settling his back against the headboard, allowing you to sit comfortably on his midriff. you scoop a bit of the cooling cream, before lathering it on his skin. your eyebrows are slightly knitted as you gently massage it in, you miss the way chan's eyes glimmer as he looks at you- the shinning lights are back on for you.

he grabs your wrist, halting your movement, before turning it around and placing a tender kiss on your pulse. the ghost of his breath sends shivers down your spine, and you retaliate by placing the tiniest peck on his palm, before trailing up his arm, his shoulder, then his jaw. chan giggles quietly as you pepper his entire face with kisses, making sure that no inch of skin is forgotten.

his face is dewy from the moisturizer, a pink hue tinting his cheeks from your kisses, and he looks so breathtakingly pretty as you finally curl your hand around the back of his neck, lowering his head to meet his lips in a tender kiss.

the seconds swiftly trickle into minutes, not that you'd know of as your mouths move lazily against one another, time no longer existing for the two of you. "i love you," he whispers, as you pull apart, slightly dazed. you gently cradle his cheek, thumb swiping tenderly from his temple to his under eye, "i love you too."

you turn off the light, before settling against his chest. his arms wrap around you, pulling you impossibly closer. you can feel his heart beating underneath you- a steady rhythm that would serve as backdrop to your dreams, later that night. he smells like coconut soap, and a faint whisper of his cologne that never truly leaves his clothes, even after laundry. you lightly untangle yourself from his hold, moving around until his face nestles in the crook of your neck.

"i want to hold you tonight," you whisper, fingers running through his slightly damp hair.

"thank you," he says quietly, pausing to press a kiss to your collarbones. "thank you for being my sun."

his body is snug against yours, a comforting warmth emanating from him to you. holding him feels like embracing the clouds and sinking into velvet pillows, it feels like coming home where all the lights are on, idly waiting for your return.

[agi-ppangx]

to feel wanted (bang chan x gn!reader)

hurt/comfort i think???, very self indulgent, channie is here to stay an: this is the aftermath of me procrastinating on uni stuff, have fun reading it😽

“why would you say that?”

you blinked a few times, tilting your head to the side. did you say something wrong? 

“what do you mean?” you mumbled, taking a sip of your coffee. you grimaced, feeling it taste more bitter than usual. 

“you said we’re not close,” chan elaborated and you nodded. you did say that, yes, but what was so wrong about it? “i don’t wanna make it about myself, but it hurts, y’know?” he added, making you freeze. you looked up at him with a bewildered face and it almost made chan apologise, but he couldn’t drop the topic now, not when he finally worked up the courage to broach it with you. 

“i don’t think i understand,” you said with a forced smile, huffing gently to lighten the mood around you two. you hoped he’d just say “yeah, forget it”, but it seemed to seriously bother him as he searched for the best way to voice his concerns. 

“i know you don’t have a lot of close friends,” chan started hesitantly, not sure if it won’t hurt you. you frowned but nodded nonetheless, aware of your nonexistent social life. “but saying that we aren’t close? c’mon,” he sighed. you dropped your head, stirring the straw in your coffee a few times. your cheeks burned and your breathing became erratic. you took another sip of your bitter drink. 

“it’s just… easier for me,” you started quietly, not daring to look him in the eyes. you reached out for a napkin from the dispenser, desperately trying to busy your hands with something, anything just to not focus entirely on the conversation you never wanted to have in the first place. “i always do this, it’s like some kind of… defence mechanism or something. at least that’s what i tell myself.” chan glimpsed at you with a concerned look on his face, straightening his posture. 

“so… what does it mean exactly?” he asked, observing as you folded and unfolded the napkin. you took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the vulnerability.

“throughout my life i learned that people don’t really like me. they tend to think i’m rude or weird and they never want to talk to me after they meet me,” you shrugged your shoulders. “i’ve always been the kind to get attached really quickly, so it hurt me whenever they left. so now i just kind of… gaslight myself into thinking that people don’t care about me and that i’m not close to anybody.” chan observed you intently as you spoke almost nonchalantly about your struggles. he stayed silent as you put the napkin away and just stared into the table. 

“you know i’d never leave you, right…?” he whispered, not exactly sure how he should feel. he was hurt, of course, because for the past few months you two had known each other he considered you one of the closest people in his life. you made him happier, like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day or a cup of warm tea on a winter evening. why couldn’t you see how important you were to him?

you finally made eye contact with him, looking for any type of sarcasm in his sight, but instead you were met with softness, gentleness, love. 

you nodded silently, blinking rapidly as you felt the tears sting at the corners of your eyes. you couldn’t open up fully just yet, but you wanted to believe him. you wanted to know what it’s like when someone genuinely cares about you and is willing to keep up with your odd traits and strange personality.

you wanted to feel wanted. 

taglist !

@lynlyndoll @iyenbread @flooo71 @skz-streamer @inniescandy-01 @hannahhbahng @prettymiye0n @ggsez31 @laylasbunbunny @like-a-diamondinthesky @axel-skz @kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy @l3visbby @skzhoes @minhosbitterriver @astraystayyh

[rachalixie]

a/n: training minho to reach for you when he is hurt instead of being an angry little guy (inspired by this racha log clip)

you’ve seen it a few times now - minho stubbing his fragile toe against a corner and freezing, or bumping his elbow on a table and hissing slowly through his breath, his eyes closed and his head thrown back as if he is trying to control himself from combusting. him curling up on the couch with his legs pressed close to his chest, hands looking impossibly small where they’re clasped around his knees to hold them close, a deep scowl on his face completing the picture.

he seems angry to the average person, like he’s somehow mad about being hurt and is stewing in that fury while the pangs of pain evaporate from his system. you know better, though. you know he’s not angry, but frustrated. a little annoyed at himself because all he wants to do is curl up in someone’s arms and have them kiss his wound better like a tiny little kitten, but he can’t do that. because he’s minho, and minho’s complete brand is acting tough. sure, everyone knows hes a pure softie on the inside, but he can’t really go around showing it can he?

you’ve elected to convince him that he can. 

it starts when his morning coffee splashes on the back of his hand and he hisses, glaring down at his hand like he wanted to chop it off (or something else equally as violent). usually you’d let him calm down on his own, knowing his faux anger goes as quickly as it comes, but today you swoop into his space and cradle his hand in both of yours. you press a gentle kiss to the spot, coffee staining your lips as you meet his eyes warmly. you guide his hand to the sink and let cool water run across it, rubbing your thumb against his skin in what you hoped was a comforting way. 

“okay?” you ask once you’re satisfied with the temperature of his skin, wrapping a fluffy towel around his hand to dry it. he just blinks at you for a moment, head tilted so adorably that you feel a scream bubbling under your chest that you have to contain. he’s so cute. you finish making his coffee for him while he continues to stare at you with wide eyes, not faltering once until you press a kiss to his cheek on your way out of the kitchen. 

the second time is when he’s come home from dance practice, a little sweaty and tired and very sore all over. he’s grumbling about his muscles hurting under his breath and you can barely hear it, but you know him well enough to know that his aborted movements and sharp little exhales mean that he’s in pain and doesn’t want to say it. the way he sat himself on the sofa instead of showering first was also a sign - he liked to be clean, especially before relaxing. 

you wince in sympathy, knowing the exact feeling of muscle pain from exercise and while it comes with the benefit of self-satisfaction it almost isn’t worth the all-encompassing ache that comes right after. he reaches for his water but stops halfway, cringing at the stretch in both his arm and his abdomen, and falls back against the couch in defeat. you take pity on him, picking up his water and twisting open the cap for him, even going as far as to hold it up to his lips for him as he takes in greedy gulps. when he’s satisfied, he pulls back and fixes you with a suspicious look, like he’s asking what do you want with his eyes. 

you just smile at him in return, giving his upper arms a gentle massage with your hands as you lean at an awkward angle to press a flutter of kisses to his stomach. he’s a little dazed when you finish your ritual, melted back into the cushions with a glazed over look in his eyes, and you cuddle up next to him with a satisfied smile. 

“better?” you ask, letting your finger trail over his stomach in the pattern your lips had just made.

“yeah,” he breathes out, brow furrowing a little in confusion, thinking too hard. 

the third instance is perhaps the most challenging, because it happens in public. the street you’re walking down hand in hand isn’t the busiest, but there are bustling around corners and crossing streets. you’re not at all surprised when minho straightens up in excitement and pulls you to a tree at the end of a sidewalk, a tiny bundle of fur curled up underneath it. minho pulls out a little tube of cat treats from his jacket pocket, something he seems to have an endless supply of, and kneels down next to the small kitten.

the thing is, cats love minho. everyone knows that they do, it’s in his blood. you’re sure that he has cat genes somewhere in his ancestry. 

but, as the both of you discover, this particular cat does not love minho. he leans towards the poor thing, making soft noises with his mouth as he holds the opened treats out, and the cat lets out an angry hiss and swipes at him with its little paw. he lets out a yelp, falling back on his haunches in surprise and his betrayed gaze trails after the kitten as it scampers away. 

he raises the palm of his face to his hand, decorated with lines of angry red that don’t look too bad but you know they probably sting something fierce. he leaves the cat treats abandoned under the tree as he stands and you prepare yourself for the anger to set in but - it doesn’t come. instead, he looks up at you with wet, wide eyes and a trembling pout and your composure breaks.

you swoop in beside him and take his hand, blowing lightly onto his palm before pressing a light kiss to the corner of it. he rests his head on your shoulder in an uncharacteristic display of public skinship, not caring one bit of the passersby behind the both of you as he soaks in your comfort. you have to hide your shock - you didn’t have to come to him, he asked for you. he sought you out in his pain, didn’t get adorably angry, and leaned towards you. this wound was different, this one was personal, a betrayal of his brethren creating a mix of physical and emotional pain that  served as the perfect opportunity for your conditioning to run its course. 

with the way it’s going, you’ll have him perfectly trained in no time.

[dadonbabysworld]

Skz pack: In an alpha's care

Author's Note: Special thanks to @leviackermanscleaningbuddy for their series and its influence on me writing my own. As well as, for the kind words given to me. Also, this is just the introduction to Jeongin and the reader's relationship. Slowly the rest of skz will be introduced. This is hurt/comfort driven. The attached photo is Jeongin's current look. Lastly, italics are thoughts.

Warnings: Mentions of bad family, animals passing away, sickness, and cuddling.

Word Count: 2,337

You had moved to the furthest place you could think of from your old life. You wanted to live away from home the rest of your life. Leaving behind nothing but a dead last name, rebranding into someone new you decided upon a new last name legally changing it. 

You worked at the nearest animal shelter. It was traumatizing seeing animals pass. However, the smiles on families faces when they leave with an animal makes up for it. Plus, you get to engage with animals most the day. Not really having to talk to people much because your coworkers knew more than you. Also, not many people respected omegas enough to think you knew anything.

You appreciated your coworkers taking the lead role, not wanting to talk anyways. You just went to work, went home, showered, and ate dinner. That was, essentially, your routine with the occasional drink or blunt in between. Until you decided you should probably find a hobby since you couldn’t find a pack.

That is how you ended up in piano lessons with a very handsome teacher. The one thing you had from your old life is a grand piano your grandparents left you when they passed. Your grandfather would play it for his pack all the time. They found it very beautiful.

You listened to the one recording of the song you have on vhs constantly. It was the one good memory you couldn’t let go of. “Hey y/n...?” Your piano teacher took you out of your trance.

“Oh, I’m so sorry... I will try to pay better attention.” You catch his gaze before focusing on his hands. His fingers were gorgeous. Perfect length, nice veins, silver rings, not a scar in sight. He was gorgeous anyways: blonde hair, cute glasses, natural blush, dimples, perfect eyebrows and smells nice – like red wine.

“Did you want to try again with the basic scale?” He asks softly as you sit in the University Music building. The faint noise of someone playing a guitar somewhere filling the silence even if only temporarily. 

“Sure Jeon...” Not remembering his name because you were star-struck when you met him for the first time earlier. Not expecting the instructor to be so young or handsome.

“It’s Jeongin and go ahead. I will be here cheering you on.” He jokes brushing his hair back some to fix it letting it fall perfectly around the sides of his face.

“I’m sorry; I will remember next time.” You mumbled, embarrassed but played the scale perfectly with each hand individually.

“Ahh now try to play them at the same time.” He suggested. You seem to have gotten the basic part down for today at least. 

You try, stumbling slightly not understanding what made it so difficult. In theory it was easy, you were overthinking it a lot. Press down the pinky of one hand and the thumb of the other at the same time? Difficult when under pressure. 

Jeongin’s first nature was to try and comfort you; his alpha pheromones filling the air around you both; he wanted to see you succeed. His inner wolf wanted to protect you, but he simply thought to be supportive. 

You calmed down before trying it again, slowly managing to achieve the right sound. Jeongin smiled and gave small claps. “Yay congratulations Y/N! Okay so until next time practice playing with both hands, okay?” You give a small nod before thanking him for this session.

Jeongin and you had sessions every Thursday at 4 pm. Apparently, he got out of class at 3:30, so it was a perfect suggestion from you. He found your sessions comforting, and he also found you very pretty. 

After your fourth session, you got sick. You let Jeongin know through text the details, so he wouldn’t wonder where you were today.

[y/n: Hey Jeongin. I am feeling sick today and cannot make it out of bed beyond the bathroom. I don’t think we can have our session today.]

Jeongin was in class when you messaged him. About 30 minutes later he responded, he, and his wolf, was at an unease with your health being less than normal.

[Jeongin: Oh no. Can I bring you some soup or anything?]

[Y/N: If you want to, I wouldn’t mind having some assistance.]

After sending him your address you relax into bed further, you had no intention of falling asleep. That is what occurred though as his knocks woke you up. You grumbled “Coming!” as you got out of bed. You wrapped yourself in a blanket and walked to the front door, opening it slowly to reveal a distressed Jeongin.

“Hi Y/N, how are you feeling now?” He asks. You step aside to let him in and nod slowly. “I still feel frail.” You barely had the energy to hold your blanket around your body. Noticing your struggle and that you hadn’t even closed the door yet, Jeongin closed and locked the door leading you to your couch to sit down. 

He sat his book bag on the ground and grabbed the soup and medicine out of it. “I will warm this up right quick. Be right back.” Just like that he was gone to the kitchen.

You were chilly but also sweating without realizing it. Shivering as you waited for him to come back, you looked straight forward with nothing at all on your mind. You were serene shockingly enough because his smell has become one of comfort. He has never wronged you or seemed to raise any alarms to your wolf.

When he returned, he sat down beside you to feed you some of the soup. Noticing you were shaking he reached in his bag pulling out a hoodie. “Did you want to wear this?” His voice was soft as he held it out for you to see.

You simply nod and try to stand to pull the cover down that was wrapped around you. Slowly you begin to fall while Jeongin, surprisingly quick, stands to catch you. As you fell into his chest, he couldn’t help but to wrap his arms around you.

“I didn’t know you were this fragile. Are you sure you want to be alone tonight?” He watches you to see if you say anything leaning his head to get a good view.

“I- I didn’t even remember what a hug felt like…” You whisper as he rubs your back softly. He never learned much about your past during the piano sessions, only your present life. He wasn’t even sure how to respond.

“It feels nice to be held.” You admit, practically melting into his arms. He was happy you were comfortable, but he did want you to at least eat something. Feeling satisfied and warm, you both sat on the couch with you on Jeongin’s lap. He fed you some of the soup he bought.

“My hyung made this for you. I told him you meant a lot to me…”

As your brain functionality was coming back to you, you nodded at his words slowly taking them in. Jeongin meant a lot to you too. He was your only friend in this small, well-connected town. 

“I was wondering if I could take you on a date Y/N?” He asked. He must have thought very thoroughly about this considering you look like the bottom of someone’s shoe right now.

“Yes if you’re sure that is what you want.”

“It really is. You have no idea.” He began to feed you the rest of the soup and water he received from your fridge. You had to admit that your wolf took kindly to being taken care of by an alpha. Never had an alpha shown you any affection that wasn’t one-sided. 

“Thank you for helping me, Jeongin. Tell your hyung I said thank you for the soup as well. It was very good.” You slid into the hoodie Jeongin gave you and wrapped back up to lay across the couch.

“Did you take the medicine I gave you?” He asks, holding it out to you in case you haven't. You lift your head slightly and take the medicine before slumping back down. 

“I’m going to stay here tonight if you don’t mind. I want to make sure you’re okay. I will sleep on the couch and make sure you get back in your bed safely.” You nod, having no will to disagree. His smell could probably do some good with discouraging advances from alphas. 

He watched you from a distance as you fought your sleep; he had pulled out his homework as he sat in your living room chair. He was typing his paper slowly. Every few moments he’d become distracted by watching you even after you had fallen asleep.

He played some soft lo-fi music for you knowing you mentioned that you slept with sounds in the background. He wanted you to be comfortable, and he could admit you looked adorable in his hoodie. He had tied you up like a laundry bag as he normally did to himself when he wore hoodies. 

Later that day you woke up to him standing at the door with someone giving him a bag. “Are you sure you want to spend the night here?” The man at the door asks Jeongin. He was really handsome; he appeared to be blonde as well. 

“Yea. I’ll see you tomorrow Chan-hyung. Nothing will happen if I sleep out for one night.”

The man, apparently named Chan, nodded even though he didn’t seem convinced. He said his goodbyes after assuring that he would see Jeongin tomorrow. When Jeongin turned around, he was shocked to find you sitting up. It was now 9 o clock meaning you probably slept close to three hours.

“Hi y/n. I’m sorry to invite people to your house; I just needed pajamas from my house and some other things.” You shook your head. You didn’t mind him telling one person where you lived. He was trust-worthy, and it had been close to a month of you knowing each other.

“I don’t mind… I wanted to ask a favor.” You mumble, face red in embarrassment at this point.

“Sure, go ahead”

“Can you sleep with me tonight?” His eyes widened at your question “That is if you’re comfortable doing so.” You almost back tracked immediately. Am I moving too fast? Is he not a physical person after all? How could you be so stupid?

“S-sure” He stuttered out. You had slowly gotten ready for bed. Jeongin checked on you the whole time you were taking a shower. He sat on the floor as you showered. You had undressed and got in before telling him it was okay to enter. The shower curtain hid you well. He had warmed your towel for you in the towel warmer you acquired while in the states. 

“I am done Jeongin. Could you pass me my towel please?” He handed it to you, so you could wrap yourself up. You looked adorable to him in this small state. You looked up at him before stepping out the tub; he led you to your room. 

“I am going to go shower while you get dressed, okay?”

“Okay please don’t be long. Maybe we can watch something?” He smiles and nods before going into the bathroom with his bag. You dry off and moisturize your body before putting on a tank top, underwear, and shorts. You sipped on the water Jeongin got you as you sat against the headboard. 

You never understood emotions, and you honestly still don’t even if you had them for Jeongin. You just want it to never end in a way. You want to feel safe and cared for forever. You stared at the ceiling as you thought of your grandparents. They always seemed so happy; they were a satisfied couple. You want that.

Finally letting go of some of the anger you feel. It feels relieving. Jeongin returned in fifteen minutes to you playing a phone game. He was wearing shorts and a long sleeve shirt. He slowly sat in bed next to you. He didn’t want to move too fast for your comfortability.

“Your shorts are nice” You compliment him. He covers his face lightly as he returns the compliment. “Yours are nice too. I like the white rim.”

You laugh softly lying-in bed cutting on the television. “What do you want to watch?” you ask to be considerate. He hums “We could watch that new drama show everyone has been raving about.” 

You give him the remote to turn to it. You cut the lamp off after, and he turns the show on getting comfortable next to you. Still not touching you but close enough you could feel the heat his body gave off.

Should I even ask him to cuddle? What if he denies me? Does he think something is off about me? Your worrying gave off an awful scent of dead cherry blossoms causing Jeongin to be alerted of you.

“Is something bothering you?” He asks, trying to remain calm as possible. He wanted to hold you and tell you everything would be okay. He knew from your stories and reactions you were lonely and lost trying to find yourself in a world that seemed all too big.

“I- I just would like to be cuddled if that isn’t too much to ask?” He held you, wrapping his arms around you as you rested between his legs. You leaned into his hold becoming immediately relaxed - drunk off of his scent. He was what you longed for, what you needed, what you deserved. 

You both watched the show not wanting to sleep yet. It was peaceful to just exist with someone. Slight comments were made here and there about the choices of the characters. 

Halfway through the show, you could feel his stare from above you. You stared back into his eyes as he whispered, “Can I kiss you?”

Tag list: @lino-jagiyaa @moonmukamiamajiki @l-luvr [please comment to join my tag list]

If you like this post, consider reading my other works listed here. I, also, accept requests here. Thank you!

[chlix]

to do what i can do

pairing: seungmin x f!reader

genre: fluff, light angst

word count: 6.1k

warnings: insecurity, light angst, exactly three (3) uses of "y/n"

synopsis: after a conversation with hyunjin's girlfriend, you grow worried that you aren't putting enough work and attention into your relationship. seungmin dissuades you of this idea immediately.

a/n: literally never done this before so sorry if this formatting isn't standard. also ignore any spelling errors pls <3

Seungmin kisses you goodbye every morning. It’s like clockwork: he puts on his shoes, pours his coffee in a mug, kisses you goodbye, and is out the door. Both of you are routine-oriented people. You like schedules and organized silverware drawers. Ever since you first got together, Seungmin has been kissing you goodbye whenever you part ways, and nearly a year later that hasn’t changed. It’s sweet that he always remembers, and the fact that it’s practiced doesn’t make it feel any less sincere.

This morning is more of the same. You get up before him, as always, and put the coffee on. You check your emails while your breakfast cooks. Seungmin emerges just as the food is done (too late to actually eat it, as always) and goes to get his coat and shoes from the door. He loops back around to put his coffee in the cup you washed the previous night and leans down to where you’re sitting at the table to kiss you lightly on the lips. It’s so rote as to be unnotable, but it makes you smile anyway, your day instantly brighter.

“I love you,” you call after him, as you always do, and Seungmin waves as he leaves, throwing a “Be safe!” over his shoulder.  And then the door closes, and you’re alone.

In a few minutes, you’ll go to work at your office job. Later, you’ll come home and make dinner. At some point in the day, Seungmin will text you to let you know if he’ll be coming home or not, so that you’ll know if you need to make one portion or two. You normally make two anyway, and just leave the second wrapped up in the fridge. If worst comes to worst, you don’t mind eating the leftovers. It’s far more horrible in your mind to not have food ready for him when he is home. It’s not that Seungmin expects food from you. He’s expressed multiple times that he can buy food on his way home. But you like cooking for him, and lately you don’t get much chance because he’s so busy. You want things to be perfect when he’s home because the time you get together is precious. You’re not obsessive about it, or anything. You’re not “playing housewife” as your friends sometimes say. It’s not a crime to want to take care of your boyfriend.

Right now is a bit of a hectic period, and you haven’t seen him much for a while. You were surprised he even had the time to come home the previous night, although of course you were grateful. When he does come home, he gives you his undivided attention, like you’re the only person on earth. It makes the wait worth it. And he kisses you goodbye every morning because he loves you, and you can feel it on your lips all day, and it assuages the loneliness you might otherwise feel.

Today you have lunch with Ahrin, Hyunjin’s girlfriend. You have good relationships with the partners of all the boys, but you’re a bit closer to Ahrin, maybe because you two are so similar. Ahrin is quieter than the other women, and is more content to observe rather than participate. She’s witty and sharp-tongued, but still kind, and has a gentleness to her that makes her easy to open up to. She calls you up and complains she hasn’t seen you in a while and asks to have a meal with you that afternoon. You haven’t been feeling work very much, and you do miss her, so you agree to take a late lunch and meet her a cafe near your office.

Ahrin is radiant as always, and you make small talk about your families before devolving into complaining about mundanities: annoyances at work and the price of fruit at the supermarket. As you’re speaking, you notice Ahrin is wearing a dainty gold necklace that you don’t recognize, and cut yourself off to ask about it.

“Oh, this? It’s Cartier. Hyunjin bought it for me,” she says, bringing a hand up to touch the small pendant like she’d forgotten she was wearing it. “He’s on this kick about couple’s jewelry.”

“It’s beautiful,” you say, and you mean it. It suits Ahrin’s softness and sophistication. He may have bought it because it was Cartier, but he clearly put some thought into it besides the designer label.

“Thank you,” she says, genuinely pleased. “I try to wear something he bought me whenever I go visit him.”

“Are you going to see him today?”

“I just come from there, actually. He took my credit card in his wallet, so I had to go get it back.”

“Oldest trick in the book,” you say.

Ahrin rolls her eyes. “I know. But it’ll work every time. I can’t help that I need it to go about my day.”

She doesn’t sound the least bit bothered. Ahrin and Hyunjin have been together for two years, and it’s a trick he’s pulled ever since they started living together, the “accidentally taking one of Ahrin’s things to work.” You’ve asked her before why she doesn’t confront him about it, but she says that she thinks it’s cute how he keeps coming up with excuses to see her, and anyway, she also likes having excuses to see him.

You also think it’s cute, if in a more wistful way. Seungmin is organized to a T, and he’s never needed you to bring him something he’s forgotten or vice versa. In fact, you can’t remember if you’ve ever visited him at work at all. You don’t think it’s that strange, though. It’s not like he’s made a habit of showing up to your workplace. Also, you likely wouldn’t have the time even if he’d offered. It does dampen your mood a bit though, especially as Seungmin texts you in the middle of your conversation that he in fact, would not be coming home today, meaning you would have to eat dinner alone tonight.

Ahrin notices the dip in your mood as you set your phone back on the table.

“Bad news?” she asks.

You swipe the notification away.

“It’s nothing. Seungmin just texting me about how busy they are.”

Ahrin hums in understanding. “Well, what can you do. At least it’s not as crazy as it was a few months ago.”

“Isn’t it?” You’ve been seeing less of Seungmin than you had in ages, and you’d assumed it was because their schedules had been bordering on unbearable lately. But Ahrin looks confused at your question.

“I don’t think so. Busier than last month, yeah. But they’re not filming anything right now, so the schedule isn’t as rigid. Seungmin hasn’t talked to you about this?”

You feel embarrassed, somehow. “He doesn’t talk about work much when he’s with me. He likes to keep it separate.”

“That makes sense. You should ask him to share his schedule with you, though. What if you need him and you don’t know where he is, or when he’ll answer?”

“I know where he’s at, generally. He tells me if he’s traveling. I just don’t know the minutiae.”

“You’re allowed to know. You should, for your own peace of mind.”

It’s not that it hadn’t occurred to you to ask. Seungmin told you his whereabouts if you questioned him, and he even volunteered information every once in a while, so you hadn’t thought much of it. And you didn’t suspect him of cheating on you ever in a million years. You knew he had other hobbies and friends as well- a whole life outside you that you weren’t privy to and didn’t need to be. But was it possible you were being a bit too aloof about your boyfriends daily habits? Why didn’t he share what he was doing, if he wasn’t at work? Why didn’t you know?

“I’ll ask him,” you say. “You’re right.”

Ahrin smiles encouragingly, and the topic is dropped for other matters. The odd feeling in your stomach doesn’t settle, though, and by the time you’ve finished your day and sat down to eat dinner, you realize you’ve unfortunately lost your appetite.

Seungmin calls you the next day to say he’ll be staying at the dorm for several days, and you tell him okay, thanks for telling me, I love you, goodbye. After you hang up the phone, you berate yourself for not asking more questions. You’re his girlfriend. You should be care that he’s leaving you alone for days at a time, you think as you drive to work. Maybe he’d been waiting for you to ask what he’d be doing or pester him for spoilers about the group’s upcoming plans. Maybe he wanted you to pout and whine about missing him and beg him to come home. You’d never done any of those things before, but maybe you should be. Maybe he’d called you hoping you would do those things and had hung up the phone disappointed.

The central problem of dating an idol is always a scarcity of time. They’re always busy, and because they’re always busy, you as a partner need to have a life outside them that is full and fulfilling, and sometimes those two schedules conflict. You can go long stretches without spending meaningful time together, and it’s hard to cope with, especially when they’re within driving distance of you, but still inaccessible. You know, though, that a scarcity of time does not always mean a scarcity of attention. You’ve seen it in Ahrin and Hyunjin, in the Cartier necklace and the missing credit card, that Hyunjin thinks about Ahrin all the time, and Ahrin knows that he does, is thinking of him just as much if not more. She can languish in the thought that even if Hyunjin is not with her, he desperately wishes he was, and when she wears his necklaces and bracelets and $500 hair clips, Hyunjin knows she is also desperately thinking about him.

You and Seungmin don’t have a system like that. Seungmin isn’t in the habit of buying you expensive gifts, for starters. He’s frugal with his money, hyperaware that one day his youth and fame will fade, and he won’t have such extravagant income. You’re similarly pragmatic, and you’ve never resented him for this. And that’s not to say he never spends money on you. He buys you flowers and takes you on expensive dates. He bought you a new laptop and headphones without you saying anything, and your closet is full of fancy dresses that are each tied to a high class outing you’ve been on. For each one, he’d bought himself a shirt and jacket to match. But those aren’t things you wear every day to show off. They’re for special occasions, specific memories. There’s nothing you wear or carry daily that marks you as ‘his.’

And honestly, you’ve never really thought about yourself that way. You and Seungmin are together, and you live together (by whatever measure your living arrangements currently count as), but you’ve never longed to be “branded” in a way befitting a pair of earrings or an oversized sweater. You wear his clothes at home, but never out. You don’t feel the need to show up to his practices and recording sessions. You’ve never even asked if you were allowed. If Seungmin bought you a Cartier necklace, you aren’t totally sure you would wear it.

It hits you like a freight train when you put it all together: You don’t care enough about Seungmin. You’re comfortable with him, you feel like you love him, but you don’t care about him the way you’re supposed to care about him. You’re not involved enough. But then, the same goes for him too, doesn’t it? He knows what you do for work, but he rarely asks you about anything other than a cursory how was your day? He doesn’t pester you for anything, doesn’t ask you to visit him or stay up for him when he comes home late. Aren’t those things that he should expect from you as a girlfriend? Why doesn’t he care that you’re so obviously neglecting him? When he kisses you goodbye in the morning, is that because he misses you, or is that just a habit formed over these past months, a meaningless part of the morning ritual he couldn’t resist if he tried?

You feel caught in a lurch, unsure what to do now. Seungmin deserves better than you, clearly. He deserves a girlfriend who actually gives a fuck about his life. But maybe, if you start making up for it now, he’ll forgive the past few months of you being so terrible. He’ll realize that you are an attentive girlfriend, and that you do care about him and that you love him, and you can prove it, you swear, it took you a while to realize what was wrong but you’ve got it all straightened out now. 

You can change. You can fix this. You know you can.

-/-

The next time Seungmin comes home, you wake up first the next morning, like always. You go to put the coffee on, and you make breakfast, and you check your emails. Seungmin comes out, walks past you to his shoes and coat, and doubles back to get his morning coffee.

“Busy day today?” you ask.

Seungmin freezes in his movements, caught off guard by your question. He recovers quickly enough, and answers. “Not particularly. Vocal practice, some other things.”

“Oh, good. Do you think you’ll be home today then?”

Seungmin turns to face you, his cup abandoned on the counter, unfilled. “Is everything alright?”

“What?”

“Is something wrong? Do we need to talk?”

Oh god, it’s worse than you thought. Asking if he’s going to be home to eat dinner is enough for him to think something is amiss. Have you truly never asked him that before?

“Everything’s fine. It would just be nice to eat dinner with you, is all.”

Seungmin relaxes. He leans down to kiss you, but it lingers longer than normal, as if he’s savoring the touch, your attention. “I’ll do my best,” he promises. “I love you. Have a nice day.”

You absolutely blossom under his affection, the verbosity atypical for so early in the morning.

“I love you too. Be safe.”

“I always am,” he says, and presses another peck to your lips before pulling away. He finishes pouring his coffee, grabs his coat, and waves as he leaves. You sit at the table, vibrating with satisfaction. You’re doing it, you’re giving him what he needs. Maybe all hope isn’t lost for you two just yet.

Your sky-high mood follows you to work, and the day keeps getting better with the discovery of cupcakes in the break room. One of your coworkers’ kids just had a birthday, and they had way too much food left over. You take one back to your desk to nibble on while you work, and even the mundanity of your daily tasks can’t bring you down from how well this day is turning out. Around midmorning, it occurs to you that this is the perfect opportunity to do something else nice for Seungmin by bringing him cupcakes. They’re not filming, which means they’re not on diets, so he can handle a bit of sugar and frosting, especially if it’s a gift from you. You borrow a container from the staff kitchen to carry some cupcakes and decide to defer your own lunch to deliver them across the city.

When you get to the JYPE building, though, you realize you have no idea what to do. You’re fairly sure you’re allowed access; the other girlfriends pop in and out all the time. But it’s possible no one here recognizes you, since this is the first time you’ve shown your face around here.

Being spontaneous is cute and quirky, but standing around lost and embarrassed grows tiring within seconds. You give up and decide to text Seungmin.

Are you busy?, you send, standing awkwardly by the door and hoping security doesn’t throw you out. Thankfully, he responds quickly.

Not super. Do you need to call?

Actually I’m in the lobby of your building. Can you come down?

Typing, and then a pause. Then more typing. Eventually the message comes through.

Ok.

You can’t decode that at all. It strikes you for the first time that you may be bothering him by driving over here. You did ask if he was busy, though. And it stood to reason that if you had time for a 5-minute phone call, he had time to come downstairs and accept the gift you’d brought him. It isn’t intrusive. This is what people do for each other when they care about each other.

It only takes a few minutes for Seungmin to round the corner into the lobby. His face is creased in concern, even worse than he’d looked this morning, and he’s walking at a brisk pace to stand right in front of you.

“Hey,” he says. “What’s going on?”

You don’t know how to respond to his intensity, so you just hold out the container towards him. “I brought you cupcakes.”

Seungmin’s eyebrows furrow in utter confusion. “You…made cupcakes?”

“I didn’t make them. A coworker brought them in. But I remember you saying you liked cupcakes, and I had a free minute, so I thought I’d bring them over before they got finished.”

Seungmin accepts the box gingerly, as though it contains a nest of wild hornets, or lit sticks of dynamite. “You drove all the way over here to give this to me?”

Your doubts go from an inkling to a full-on tumult. “Yes, I did. I was just thinking of you…I thought you might like something sweet.”

You don’t mean to look dismayed, but Seungmin must clue-in to the fact that this isn’t the reaction you were hoping for. He shifts the box to one hand and laces your fingers together with his other.

“Thank you for thinking of me,” he says. “But you don’t need to go out of your way to bring me things.”

“It’s not out of my way. I had time.”

“Let me rephrase. You shouldn’t expend your lunch hour to bring me food. When are you going to eat now?”

“I’ll stay an extra half hour. It’s fine.”

Seungmin clearly isn’t satisfied with this. He tugs lightly on your arm, bidding you to follow, and you do, unsure of what else to do.

He takes you up a floor, and down a hallway to what seems to be a regular employee break room, where he gestures for you to sit down at one of the tables. You do, and he walks over to the fridge to get bottled water and brings back one for you, along with napkins and a knife from the drawer next to the fridge.

“If you aren’t going to eat lunch, you might as well share your spoils with me,” Seungmin says. He opens the container and takes out one of the cupcakes (and they are huge, to be honest, you kind of can’t believe they’re from a kid’s birthday party) and cuts it in half.

“Pick a side,” he says, and you do, and he carefully picks it up and lays it on a paper towel before sliding it towards you. He takes the other half, and you pick your desserts apart with your fingers. Seungmin tells an anecdote about Jeongin from their vocal lesson that morning. It’s…nice. You’re just spending time with your boyfriend, a quick stolen minute in the midst of your busy lives. The frosting is sickeningly sweet, and you find yourself reaching for the bottle of water without even thinking of it, and only later preen at the realization that Seungmin knew you would need to wash the artificial taste out and had brought you water preemptively. He knows you well enough to identify if something would suit your palette with only a glance.

Both of you don’t have much time to spare, so after fifteen minutes you wipe off your hands and clean off the table.

“I’ll bring the rest of these back upstairs,” he says. “They won’t last ten minutes once the others see them.”

“That’s fine. That’s what I was hoping for, actually.”

“And here I thought you brought these only for me,” he says, but his lips are curled up, teasing. He kisses you goodbye, like always, lips sugary-sweet and soft as cotton-candy. “Thank you for stopping by. I’ll see you tonight.”

Your heart grows three sizes. You’re on cloud nine. “Anytime,” you say.

That night you try very hard not to be an absolute freak about dinner. You cook nearly every day, so the cooking itself isn’t that special, but for some reason your usual rotation doesn’t feel good enough. Seungmin is coming home for the second day in a row, and you don’t want to reuse ingredients, or phone it in when you’d specifically asked him to come home. At the same time, a five-course meal is definitely doing way too much. You stop by the store on the way home and scan the shelves, before wrestling yourself into a compromise and getting ingredients for a meal you both enjoy, but you’re normally too lazy to bother after a long day at work. It’s nothing fancy, just time-consuming, but you’re in such high spirits that the labor doesn’t even feel harrowing.

Seungmin gets home a few minutes before you’re properly done, with the pot on the stove ticking down steadily as you wash dishes and spoons. Seungmin greets you as he walks in but vanishes quickly down the hall to shower and change into inside clothes. By the time he reappears, you’re all but done, and you’ve never been more satisfied with yourself as you dish the food into two bowls and set them on the table. Sure, maybe it’s “playing housewife” a little bit, but you don’t even care. If playing housewife is this rewarding, you might have to start doing it more often.

Seungmin raises his eyes as the dinner you prepared.

“Didn’t you complain that this is hard to make?” he asks. You shrug.

“Felt like cooking today,” is all you say. “No biggie.”

Seungmin sits down at the table, pushes his plate to the side, and looks directly at you. “Y/n. What’s going on?”

Anxiety shoots through you. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you do. I’m not oblivious. You’ve been acting off all day.”

“Off?”

“Visiting me at the company? Cooking this fancy dinner? It’s not like you at all.”

“That’s not me being ‘off.’ I just missed you, that’s all.”

“Have I not been paying enough attention to you? Is that why?”

“No! I mean, you have. There is no ‘why’. Am I not allowed to miss my boyfriend?”

Seungmin looks distinctly unimpressed. “Nice try. Wanna go again?”

All your good humor from earlier is dissolving into your soup. “You’re mocking me.”

“I’m not mocking you.”

“I was trying to do something nice for you. I just wanted to spend time with you today. Is that so wrong?”

“It’s not wrong. It’s just unusual for you. When you told me you showed up at the company, I thought something horrible had happened, because you never visited me before.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

“What doesn’t?”

“That I never visit.”

“Why would that bother me?”

All your anxieties are simmering near the top, threatening to boil over. “Because the other members’ girlfriends visit all the time. I know they do. They have security clearance and everything. But I never do. I don’t even know where you are most days if I wanted to visit you.”

Seungmin frowns. “You’re busy. You have a job you’re at all day, same as me. Some of the other members’ girlfriends work less or have other things going on.”

“Maybe that’s the problem,” you mutter. “Maybe I have too much going on.”

Seungmin looks hesitant at this. “If you feel you need to cut back, I’ll support you.”

“Is that what you want? Do you think I should work less?”

“No, I don’t. That’s not my decision anyway.”

“But I just…” You’re cracking, you know you are, you can hear it in your voice- “I just want to be there for you more. I want to be attentive.”

“You are attentive. You’re there for me all the time.”

“I’m not!” It bursts out of you more violently than even you expected. Seungmin is taken aback, eyes widening as you finally break. “I’m so aloof towards you, it’s awful. I never know where you are, or what you’re doing. I never ask you to come home to me. I don’t stay up for you. I don’t visit you. Other girlfriends have bracelets or necklaces they wear for their boyfriends, and I don’t do any of that. No one would even know we were dating, based on how we are now.” You suck in a breath, reminding yourself to stay calm. “I just don’t even know what you get out of being with me. I don’t do anything I’m supposed to do, and you keep letting me get away with it. And I thought if I changed, and I started trying harder, maybe I could fix it before you realize that I don’t deserve you.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, humiliation and sadness making you feel dizzy and hot. Now that you’ve said it all out, it sounds ridiculous. It’s not as if you could fix a behavioral pattern with one good day. If your relationship really is rotten through, all you’ve done is draw attention to the problem and made it even worse. Contrasted with how you acted today, the past eleven months must seem downright hollow.

Seungmin sighs. “Y/n, look at me, please.”

You open your eyes and are horrified to see Seungmin looking absolutely mournful where he sits across the table. He looks so aggrieved, so weighed down, and a horrible rock forms in the pit of your stomach.

“First of all,” he says. “I don’t ever want to hear you say again that you don’t deserve me. It’s not true, and I won’t have you putting yourself down like that. You don’t decide what I deserve, I do. And I’ve decided you’re exactly what I want.”

You blink, confused at the turn of events. It’s a very Seungmin thing to say, yes, but in this situation, you didn’t expect him to double down on it so earnestly.

“Second of all, you’re not aloof towards me. I know you love me, and you care for me in your own ways. I also know you have a life outside of me that keeps you busy. I’m grateful for that. I would feel horrible if you spent a significant amount of your day just waiting around for me when we both know I can’t always be there.”

“That’s different,” you can’t help but interject. “You’re an idol. You can’t help that you’re busy.”

“You can’t help being busy either. Being an idol isn’t any more important than any other job. You have responsibilities too.”

You deflate, sagging in your chair. He takes this as license to continue.

“Third, I didn’t think you were the type to wear jewelry every day. If you want me to get you something, I can do that. I just didn’t want you to feel pressured to wear something just because I bought it and it was expensive. Someday, if we get married, you’ll wear my ring, and that’ll be enough for me.”

He’s right. You don’t usually wear jewelry every day, and you would feel bad about not wearing something he’d specifically bought you as a gift. You’re starting to feel more and more foolish as this conversation continues.

Thankfully, his itemized list ends there, and he leans forward, dark eyes fixed on yours. He doesn’t look angry, or upset, just focused. Leave it to Seungmin to mind-map his way through a relationship crisis.

“Can you tell me what brought this on? It’s unlike you to be insecure. If I’ve done something to make you think you’re not good enough for me, I’d like to know so that I can change my behavior.”

You let out a long breath, giving up the fight in the face of Seungmin’s rationality.

“I had lunch with Ahrin the other day. I was complaining about how you’re so busy these days, I rarely see you. Ahrin said you guys actually haven’t been that busy. It made me realize I don’t actually know your schedule, like what you do all day, much less outside of work. And I also realized part of the reason I haven’t seen you much is because I never ask to see you. You have no reason to spend time with me when it seems like I don’t even want you around.” Your voice trails off as you continue, shame sticking the words in your throat.

Seungmin hums, thinking. He lifts his hand up and stretches it toward you, your sign to extend your own hand so he can lace your fingers together. You oblige, and the contact settles you a bit.

“I have never thought for one second that you didn’t want me around. I don’t take offense to you not knowing my schedule either. I know I don’t talk about work much. It might be a flaw of mine.”

“Hyunjin is always playing these little games with Ahrin to get her to come see him. But I’ve always felt that you’d prefer I stay away when you’re working.”

Seungmin hesitates again. “That might be right. That’s not because I don’t love spending time with you, though. It’s the opposite.”

“I…don’t follow.”

“Whatever you believe, the other members’ partners don’t really come around all that much, but when they do come around, it’s not really a big event. They’re just spectators. Like when Ahrin visits us at practice, it’s easy for Hyunjin to pretend she’s not there and keep working. I couldn’t do that. If you were in the room with me, I don’t think I could be as focused as I normally am. I’d be distracted because all my attention would be on you and how you’re doing. That’s why I’ve never encouraged you to visit.”

A small hysterical part of you wants to twist his words somehow, to start a fight about him calling you a ‘distraction’ and all it implies, but you know what he meant. It’s a fairly big admission he’s given, that he couldn’t keep control of himself if you were in his eyeline. It’s…unexpectedly flattering.

“I fluster you that badly?” you ask, half-teasing, half-curious. But Seungmin answers you dead serious.

“Embarrassingly so. When I went back upstairs with the cupcakes, Minho-hyung didn’t give me a second to breathe before commenting on it.”

You find yourself grinning. “Really?”

“Don’t laugh at me. It’s unkind.”

“I’m not laughing,” you say, even though you definitely are. Seungmin rolls his eyes, but there’s no heat or embarrassment in them.

“You could at least be sorry about it.”

“I’m very sorry that I got you bullied by your bandmates,” you say dutifully. “I promise I will do my best not to place you in such a compromising position again.”

“You can visit me if you want,” Seungmin rebuffs. “I can take a little teasing if you really want to see me. My point is just that you shouldn’t feel like you have to because the other girlfriends do.”

“Okay.” You nod, then venture out into the part of the conversation you’ve been avoiding. “If that’s all true, why do you stay away so often? It’s okay if you just have other things to do, but why do you let me think you’re at work if you aren’t?”

You aren’t sure what he’s going to say to this. You believe in his loyalty, always, and you don’t think he truly intended to lie to you, but you still can’t figure out who’s to blame here, and how this miscommunication has persisted between you for so long.

To your surprise, Seungmin’s ears flare red. His grip tightens on your hand, like he’s fighting himself, but you can tell he answers you honestly when he says,

“I was worried I was imposing on you.”

You blink. “Imposing?”

Seungmin is no longer meeting your eyes, his gaze lowered to the table. “Like I said, I don’t want you to constantly be waiting around for me. I don’t want you to get used to having me around, and then when I go on tour, or get busy with activities, you feel my absence stronger. Then, when I come back, I become an inconvenience as you try to fit me into your life again. It’s hard, and it’s unfair. I thought it would be easier to try to keep the same level of involvement all the time, so that you didn’t miss me too badly when I was gone, and I didn’t annoy you too much when I came back.”

You hardly let him finish his sentence before you say, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You keep your attention from me so that I won’t miss you later? How does that make any sense? I miss you regardless. That’s the point of being in a relationship.”

Seungmin winces, and you decide to dial back your indignance. He’d spoken to you evenly, and you could do the same for him.

“Sorry. I just meant that you shouldn’t keep yourself away from me in an effort to spare my feelings. I know what I signed up for when we started dating. I know some times will be easier than others. I appreciate your efforts to mitigate that, but this isn’t the way. You being gone so often is all the more reason to be overt and intense when we do have time together. It’s fine to not want to spend all your free time with me, but don’t ever think wanting to be around me is imposing, or hurting me in some way, because it’s not.”

Seungmin looks properly chastised. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll be around more.”

“And I’ll ask for you more. We both need to stop holding ourselves and each other back.” You let out a little laugh. “We’re acting like it’s embarrassing to be in love or something.”

“Hyunjin said the same thing to me once.”

“Hyunjin is smart in exactly one area,” you acquiesce. “Ahrin is a lucky girl.”

“Comparison is the thief of joy,” Seungmin mutters. You lean forward over your cold dinner and press a kiss to Seungmin’s cheek.

“I didn’t say she was luckier than me.”

You both grin.

-/-

Next week, Monday. You wake up at your usual time, put on coffee, make breakfast. You clear your entire inbox because fuck the sales department, they can say whatever they need to say in the meeting this afternoon. You set your phone down and enjoy the warmth of the tea you brewed and watch the sun come up outside your living room window.

Seungmin gets up, gets his shoes and coat, and doubles back around.

“Good morning,” you say.

“Good morning.”

“Busy day?”

“Nope. I’m free after lunch.”

“Lucky. I have an awful meeting from two to four.”

“You’ll do fine,” Seungmin says. “Sales isn’t the boss of you.”

“They actually are,” you groan, and Seungmin laughs at your dismay. He kisses you goodbye, tells you to be safe. You tell him you love him. The front door opens and closes.

At around 1pm, your phone buzzes with a text.

Are you busy?

Eh. Why?

I’m in your lobby.

No way.

You grab your security pass and head towards the elevators, watching every floor tick down until it lets you out on the ground floor. Seungmin is sitting in a chair in reception, holding a white cardboard box. When he sees you approach him, he grins and holds it up.

“Got time for cupcakes?”

Your smile is so wide it’s splitting your face in half. “Follow me. The break room is on the fourth floor.”

-/-

“I didn’t even know you knew what building I work in.”

“I looked it up on NAVER.”

“Of course you did.”

“Why reinvent the wheel when someone invented the iPhone, y/n.”