#smell and taste are the kinda senses that allow an organic being to tell what is (possibly) safe to ingest and what isn't right?

[logicpng]

I was wondering, does Aster have a concept of smell or taste? I doubt they would be able to experience olfactory senses without connecting some sort of contraption to the computer that is capable of analyzing those substances, right? Would they even want to experience smell or taste?

yeah i think aster's "physical" senses are mostly just limited to tactile input, since they can interact with the 3d environment. smell and taste doesn't serve much purpose, being processes kept alive by the battery of the computer, it would mostly be just texture instead

[gojoscloset]

Blame.

GETO SUGURU X READER ANGST/FLUFF

Warnings: Bad words

Shitty writing /unedited

Pt. 3 / 4

(Please read A/N at the end, I’m sorry )^: )

❣️❌❣️❌❣️❌❣️❌❣️❌❣️❌❣️❌❣️❌❣️

Geto’s senses were overstimulated at the sight of you.

He was overwhelmed with what felt like a rush of warm colors; it was enough to form Goosebumps on his skin.

The sound of your voice made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up straight.

Your voice was music to his ears, like each word that slipped from your mouth was honeyed and he desperately needed a taste.

Geto immediately recalled the nights he watched the videos he had saved, ones that had your voice in them and how would replay them over and over again until it almost became an obsession. But those nights were nothing compared to how your voice made him feel now.

He could smell your perfume. The perfume.

One he had gifted you many moons ago, one that drove him wild, and he insisted you wear for him whenever the two of you went out on dates, And you did, because you weren’t one to deny him of anything he asked for.

Knowing that you took the time to put it on gave Geto Hope. Hope that maybe just maybe he still crossed your mind like you crossed his.

But it was when his eyes met yours that did it for him. The pseudo smile he carried wavered instantaneously. He repeated your name with trembling lips and averted his gaze, but quickly brought it back to meet yours. He had been deprived of your entire being and didn’t want to deny himself of what he'd been craving for weeks, yet his demons yelled in his ear to look away. He felt undeserving being in your presence.

It was evident you utilized your time away from him properly, it showed in the way you carried yourself. Fear struck his heart with realization that all he did while you were away was sulk while you worked on yourself.

He began to have doubts about whether or not you would come back to him if he hadn’t worked on himself as much as he should.

“Suguru…” you whispered and reached over to gently take his hand in yours, he immediately laced your fingers with his.

The kind gesture that was meant to soothe the pain only made him cry more. “I think I’m ready to talk…” you whispered softly, looking at his torn expression tugged on your heart strings. “Let’s go to the apartment, yeah?” You suggested since it seemed he wasn’t going to stop crying anytime soon.

—

The walk to the apartment was silent,with the exception of occasional sniffles and the sounds of you taking sips of your coffee. The silence was not uncomfortable, but it was unfamiliar.

Under better circumstances he would talk and tease you, but for now you two walked next to each other, like friends. There was a gap between the two of you, but it wasn’t vast, to you, But for Suguru it felt like it was a mile wide.

It wasn’t until you entered the apartment that the uneasiness hit you. Everything was eerily untouched, exactly how you left it, almost to the T.

The sweater you wore that same day still on the couch sprawled over the armrest. Your house slippers in the same position, you tried sneaking a glance into the room you two once shared, but the door was closed.

Your mind couldn’t help but wonder if the drawers were left open and if things were still scattered across the floor.

“Sorry..about the mess.” He spoke quietly and took a seat at the dining room table, you sat across from him, giving him a smile.

“Don’t worry about it.” Again there was a silence between the two of you, not uncomfortable, but unfamiliar.

“Do you need a moment, Suguru?”

“No.” His voice cracked.

“Okay...Uh… hmmm...Where do I begin?” You looked around the room while you organized your thoughts.

“I do have a lot to say, I hope I was not interrupting anything….”

He quickly shook his head giving you the floor.

“Then Please allow me to tell you how I feel… about everything” you cleared your throat and he nodded, listening closely, tears having stopped but heart was understandably extremely sensitive.

“Being away from you made me realize a lot Of things, A lot of things, Suguru. First and foremost being how much I love you. But I also realized I love myself more, which is why-“

“Please don’t leave me…” he interrupted softly before you could continue. “I know I have been selfish and it is becoming a commodity in the relationship and I don’t mean to interrupt you and don’t expect for you to change your mind, but in case you do leave me I just want to tell you how much you mean to me and how much I need you.”

You swallowed the lump forming in your throat, the ‘tough cookie’ exterior you put on when you approached him quickly crumbling the more he spoke.

You weren’t going to leave him, that was the last thing on your mind,you wanted to give him a piece of your mind before continuing to live the life you two created together.

“Being encased in a home we built together is karma I put on myself. I miss you. I miss everything about you. Everything” he emphasized with hand gestures.

“Your smile. The way you smell. The way you call my name. The cadence in your voice, your walk, your talk, sometimes I would go out and someone laughed like you and I-...I ...“ he choked out a sob and buried his face in his hands.

“I’m not leaving you Suguru…” The two of you locked eyes with each other, there was hope in his eyes.

“I just wanted to tell you how much that shit sucks. Being accused of infidelity when I gave you as much of me and my love as I possibly could, but even so…” you wiped the tears from your eyes, Geto was hit with deja vu, recalling the scene the day you left and how he wished he could wipe the tears for you.

He was being given another chance at redemption and he gladly took it.

He stood up from his seat, making his way to you, he knelt down beside you and wiped the tears away, as he should have the first time.

“I’m so sorry… I love you more than I could ever put into words y/n. What I said was out of insecurity. This doesn’t justify my actions or what I said, but my words came from a place of insecurity and fear. I was afraid you would go to Gojo because he literally has everything you could ever want…”

“You ARE everything I want so stop saying that!” you quickly interjected before he spiraled into a self deprecating headspace.

His hands laced with yours and he dropped his head. You could almost physically feel the doubts that had been eating at him disappear with those 9 words.

“I love you..so so much…” he sobbed quietly whilst lacing your fingers together. He brought your knuckles to his lips placing multiple kisses on them.

“And I love you so so much” you whispered, cupping his face in your free hand, wiping away his tears.

The rest of the night consisted of non stop chattering and laughter. Tears were shed and stories exchanged about how the two of you felt away from each other.

Boundaries were reset and apologies were made, a new chapter in your relationship was written that night, and as long as the pages are written with love, the story will go on forever and ever.

—-

🤠 howdy! It’s me again! Ahh I apologize for this chapter, I was in the middle of writing it when the snowstorm hit (I live in shithead Texas) and pretty much my whole life went to shit momentarily.

But thankfully things finally went back to normal ..kinda (after 2+ fucking weeks of no water) the damages are fixed and stuff but guess who is now $2k+ in debt

That’s right! Yours truly!

LMAOO hate it here

Y’all don’t invest in a home in America unless the area is good. And please check the foundation because wow. I hate it here sometimes.

Anyway, again I do apologize for such a shitty written chapter, but expect a part 4 (the final chapter) and also hopefully with a lot better writing. Like I’m literally so so so sorry I feel like it’s so anticlimactic but I got y’all, don’t worry. Ahhh again sorry if it’s anti climatic as fuck

I wanted to put something out for y’all so bad )^:

Anywho

Please anticipate my next works and also a master list and finalizing my blog theme

Finally lololol.

Thank you

I love you

Neptilian ✨

[liitlesunshiine]

Welcoming Death

(Demon Dabi x Reader)

Warnings: NSFW, smut, mentions of death, degradation, manipulation, suicidal themes, dubcon, slight blood mention (towards the end)

Word count: 3k

Notes: Hi lol ok. Not only is this my first time writing a full on smutty fic but it’s also my first post on this account,, so I am lowkey kinda insecure on my writing. I’m just here for a good time so don’t judge too harshly. Also, Demon Dabi out here vibing with us during Halloween time. Enjoy & please, I mean PRETTY PLEASE w a cherry on top let me know what you think! :)

-------------------

It was only in moments of pure despair did Demon Dabi appeared to you.

And today, maybe today you thought. Maybe today you’d finally give in.

~

“Hello little dove” the demon whispered coolly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “Are you ready for me to take you?”

You laid on your bed in nothing but an oversized t-shirt and a thong. The demon appeared right next you edging the side of your bed.

He caressed your face with his fingers. Slowing touching and soothing his fingertips across your cheek, the action feeling rather comforting to you.

“Allow me to relieve your sadness dove. I can sense the weight on your shoulders and pain holding you down. Allow me to rid of your suffering and take care of you.” He cooled, nudging his face closer to yours.

You sighed. You were mentally and emotionally exhausted. You knew what he wanted and what it meant for you. If you accepted him, that meant you accepted death. Sulking miserably into yourself you decided to cave in. You were at the verge of sanity by this point. The constant lows that life put you through left you unmotivated and unwilling to continue. You just wanted peace. You wanted this to all end. And that’s how you found yourself patiently waited for the Demon. You sulked over this decision for hours and the only thing that felt right was to finally give into him.

And here you were ready and committed for not only the demon but death as well.

“Dabi, for the past 7 years you’ve come to me in only my darkest moments trying to manipulate me and fool me into giving my away life to you. I know you don’t care about me. I know you’re only here to take advantage and use me.”

You grabbed his face softly. Looking deep into those piercing blue eyes.

“Take me Dabi.”

“I am ready.”

The demon looked lustfully in your eyes. You gently pulled his face closer to yours leading his lips onto your own. Everything was moving so slow. You felt the rough skin of his scars against your chin. He was careful with his movements. The sensation of his ruined bottom lip was rough but the warmth and wetness of his tongue lightly grazing your mouth was enough to issue a slight moan out of you.

You figured since today was your last day on earth you might as well indulge yourself into your humanly desires. You’re only but a weak human girl handing her life away to the blue-eyed demon before you. What power did you have? You were nobody and nothing to this world, so who cares.

He held the hand that you had on his face and brought it to his lips. He opened his eyes with lust heavily influencing them.

“Are you sure this is what you want doll? Do you know this means?” He said all while placing soft kisses across your hand, nibbling slowly up your arm. You no longer cared at this point. No longer had the motivation or will to continue this pathetic life you lived.

“Save me Dabi. Take me. I don’t care, I just... I just want this to end already.”

He hummed lightly. “Then tell me my little human- in fact, beg for me to take you.”

You only nodded and proceeded to do has the demand demanded. Begging softly into his ear to take your life and end your suffering. He was now shifted above you. Knees pinned on either side of your body, keeping you in place. He leaned into your neck kissing it lightly and gently giving it a few subtle licks. He proceeded to grab your neck with his hand while nibbing on your earlobe.

“You’ve put on a fight for so long doll. I was losing hope of ever getting you... Now tell me human how much do you hate this world.” The sensations from his actions were already making you feel high. His seductive voice only making the pool in between your legs wetter and hotter now.

You gripped onto his neck pulling him close you. “I hate this world so much. Plea- pleas.. please take me already Dabi.” You begged lightly.

He only hummed in response. He licked your neck once more before proceeding to lower himself until his face in between your thighs. You looked down on him, his feathery black wings on full display and all puffed out, the light hitting his horns perfectly, if you didn’t know better you’d say he looked like an angel this moment. Regardless of the scars all over his body, with those blue eyes sinking into you couldn’t help but admit to yourself that he was beautiful.

“Dove I can sense the lust radiating off your body, I can even smell the wetness between your legs. Do you crave my touch that desperately?”

“You’re burning so hot for me already; who would’ve known you were such a good and submissive girl for me. I guess it’s only fair for me to reward my human and give into her last dying wish. Would you like that baby dove?”

He was smirking looking at you with one hand holding his chin up and the other doing teasingly lines up and down your clothed pussy. The sensation was so tingling, you already felt out of breath. You couldn’t respond feeling choked up from the light touches. Frustrated from no response, he shoved one finger in between your underwear and bear sex. His finger slowly getting hotter and hotter by the second. You screamed out once you felt the burning sensation and flick of blue fire. Your underwear now burned into two pieces.

“I don’t like silence dove. Don’t make me punish you.” His mouth only mear inches away from your pussy now. His hot breath teasing your cunt. God it felt so fucking divine. It was only his breath that you felt on your cunt and you were already feeling dizzy from the sensation.

“Im- I’m sorry.” You exhaustedly worded out. He hummed again this time the vibration going straight in between your legs. He placed one finger on your pussy, slowly and deliberately sinking it into you. While his finger was moving frustratingly slow than before, he swiped his tongue giving your cunt a kitten lick. You moaned in response and jerked your body up. Which he grunted at and roughly pulled your legs apart pinning them in place.

“Don’t move kitten if so, you’ll upset me.”

You nodded quickly and understandably. It was already taking so much out of you to hold back. He must’ve put you under some type of enchantment. All your senses felt heightened somehow, every touch sending you shivers. Your body felt so light and your mind was becoming hazy.

You held your breath in when you felt his tongue retreat back in. Fuck fuck. He removed one hand from your thigh and began fingering you. You let out the air you were holding in to then grip on of his horns tightly in order to prevent yourself from squirming around. He was smirking at the action. His soft warm tongue and the combination of his rough bottom lip was already sending you over edge, he was deliberately trying to get you to move and you knew it. With one hand on his horn and the other now fisting his hair you arched your back up. Already feeling yourself about to cum. His fastened the movement of his finger inside you, now adding a second one and scissoring your cunt.

“Your clenching around my fingers dove. Going to cum already for me?” He chuckled and adding a third finger in. His pace now rough and fast pulling all three fingers in and out of you. You were a moaning mess until he abruptly stopped, pulling all fingers out of you. You felt the warmth and fullness leave. Dazed and confused you lifted your head to try to see why he stopped, and you were only met with his blue shot eyes piercing you.

“Beg for release Y/N.” He demanded.

And that’s exactly what you did. Once satisfied with your words, he pulled your legs wider apart. It took a moment to register that the length of his tongue was drastically increased. You screamed from the sensation of having his snake length tongue squirm and move inside you. You rolled your eyes to the back of your head and pulled on both his horns diving his face deeper into your pussy. He plummeted his fingers inside and sucked on your clit, awhile his tongue still inside you. The sensation was overwhelming, and you were beginning to feel the warmth of an organism flow throughout your body. You curled your toes up and closed your thighs caging his head.

You rode out your first orgasm on his tongue and his fingers.

You gently released the tight grip you had on his horns and laid exhaustedly on the bed with both arms beside you.

“Now, now doll. We’re not even close to being finished here.” He lifted himself out from between legs and was now hovering over.

Your essence was smeared across his lips. He held his hand out in front of you. Proudly displaying the wetness on his fingers.

“You taste delicious human. See for yourself.” He shoved the two fingers into your mouth. You licked and swirled your tongue, tasting yourself off his fingers. He smiled at the sight.

“Good pet.” He removed the fingers out of your mouth and placed them in his. He groaned loudly at the taste.

“God everything about you is so fucking delicious. Open your mouth slut.” You stuck your tongue out with your mouth open on full display. He roughly gripped your cheeks and brought your face inches away slightly beneath to his, where he then spat inside your mouth. A long string of saliva connecting you both. You swallowed happily putting on the biggest puppy doe eyes you could muster.

You wanted him inside you already. The desperation was written across your face and your body already submitting. He could tell and god was he holding himself back.

“Be vocal pet. Tell me what it is that you want and maybe I’ll be nice.” He placed his forehead against yours still gripping your cheeks tightly. His eyes boring holes into you.

“I- I want you.. in.. inside me.” You said shyly trying to look away only to be brought back into his intense gaze.

“Your essence is smeared all across my face and you’re still acting trying to act modest?”

You blushed, feeling yourself get all hot and bothered from his voice alone. “I’m sorry.” You responded looking deeply into his eyes. He hummed and brought your lips into his.

“Let’s see you continue to be a good pet for me human. I’ll take you soon don’t worry; you’ll be mine and leave this filthy world.”

You nodded and kissed him in response. You felt his tongue waver in and explore your mouth. You heard him beginning to unbuckle his belt and you pulled away slightly looking at his naked chest. With a bit of confidence and desperation you leaned in and helped him pull his pants down all while he watched.

“Desperate for my cock pet?”

Your mouth was watering at the sight. His dick on full display, you never seen anything like it no human could ever be the length that this demon was. You found your face inching closer and closer to it, until his pulled your hair back rather forcefully and brought himself face to face with you again.

“I’m the one taking you here. Lay back human.” You found yourself feeling slightly disappointed with the urge of wanting to taste his dick in your mouth.

“Don’t look so disappointed doll. We’ll have an eternity to spend together soon enough, you’ll have your chance to taste me.”

You laid your head back into the pillows. Questioning to yourself what he meant by an eternity since you’ve assumed, he was going to be killing you after this is all said and done. He placed himself in between your legs, lining himself up.

“It almost feels like you’re burning hotter than I am. Such a submissive pet. You’re such a good human for me.”

You moaned at the sensation of him moving his tip up and down the folds of your pussy.

“So wet for me pet. How badly have you been lusting over me human? I should’ve taken you sooner.”

You continued moaning and sighed in response not being able to think of anything other than his cock teasing your entrance. He forced your legs apart and enlightened his fingertips on fire. Your body jerked up at the sudden pain and yell escaped your lips. He gripped you by the neck and was squeezing it tightly.

“What did I say about being silent pet? Don’t fucking ignore me when I speak.”

He shoved you back into bed, all while shoving his cock in with one simple slide. His grip on your throat preventing you from releasing a sound. He was thrusting into you brutally with a quick set pace. You were scraping and scratching all throughout his back. His wings puffering back and forth. He was penetrating you with such force it gave you little to no chance to try and accustom yourself to his size. You felt his cock practically reaching your stomach. The sensation was too much, while the first thrust elicited pain out of you, you couldn’t help but to deny the pleasure that was ripping all throughout your body. You couldn’t think, you couldn’t move or even speak. You laid there clinging onto his back with his hand roughly gripping your throat still. He pulled back slightly to lick a rolling tear off your cheek. His tight grip loosing from your neck now.

“How do you feel human? How does the cock of a demon feel in you?” He bit your earlobe.

“Yes- so so good. Pleas- please don- don’t stop.” You couldn’t form a coherent sentence let alone think of one. The pleasure was so intoxicating, you didn’t know if what you said was even understandable, but you refused to stay silent in fear he’d burn you again.

“You’re clenching around me human. Cum for me.” Already reaching your limit you allowed the organism to wash through you. You moaned and puffed. His thrusts only getting faster and harder. You gripped his inner wings, the point where his wings connected to his back. He groaned and his movements slightly haltered.

“Don’t do that pet.” He grunted in your ear. You assumed it must be a sensitive spot for him. The sound he made when you touched them was heaven in your ears. Wanting to hear it again, you gather some confidence and gripped the spot harder, this time eliciting an unfiltered moan from him. He chuckled in your ear.

“Disobedience won’t go unchecked pet.”

You felt his hands waver down to your ass. He gripped both your ass cheeks while sparking some fire out of his hands. You screamed from the pain. Holding onto him tightly, he removed one hand to bring it back with a hard and fiery slap. This time instead of screaming you let out a loud moan, the pain slowly oozing into pleasure. The continuation of his deep thrusts and hot hands all over your body, resulted in yet another organism to wash over you. You released the hold from his wings feeling absolutely dazed, tears and sweat coating your face.

“Cumming without permission pet? You’ve disobeyed me twice already. Seems like I’m going to have to have to punish you and teach you some manners… guesss we’ll save.. that for another timee..”

His thrusts were becoming sloppy and he was slurring a few of his words. You apologized for disobeying him rather than staying silent. He gripped your face pushing it to side, leaving your neck completely exposed to him. With two final thrusts from him, you felt ropes of cum enter you. The warmth making you feel full and satisfied. You laid there exhaustedly, waiting for his next move. 

He licked your neck softly.

“You did so well for me pet.”

He kissed your neck.

“Are you ready for me to take you now?”

Without waiting for a response, you felt his fangs protrude out and instantly puncture the side of your neck. The blood oozing out was captured by his warm tongue. He gave soft licks around the area numbing the pain. Your sight was now becoming black and your mind slowly losing consciousness.

“I hope you’re ready to spend a new life of eternity with me Y/N.”

Was the last thing you heard before closing your eyes and accepting your assumed death.

[another-dr-another]

insert those coins babey! no point in holding onto them if they aren't used !

You Now Own:

001 - Mineral Water (x2)

Drawn from the ocean depths and rigorously purified. Ideal for a modern on-the-go public unsatisfied with tap water.

002 - Sea Salt

A basic seasoning produced from the evaporation of seawater. It also sees use as a preservative.

003 - Ration

A set of canned and vacuum-sealed foodstuffs. The taste isn't bad, and a certain snake that wants to play hide-and-go-seek is just crazy abou- wait, what?

005 - Ramune

A sweet, lemon-flavored carbonated drink. A marble plugs the opening of the uniquely designed bottle. The bottle can also be reused if you bring it to the ramune store.

010 - Ship In a Bottle

A intricate creation, a model ship within a bottle. Made with time, love and care.

012 - Envy-Enducing Envy CD

A CD of songs by Japanese band Envy. Full of unreleased tracks/first recordings.

014 - Children's Book

A children's book about family and forgiveness! The plot is about a sister who can't get along with her younger brother, but they find common ground and bond over causing trouble for their parents.

016 - Sour Soda (x2)

No flavor is listed on the bottle other than sour, which may just be a flavor in and of itself. It's a near black shade of blue... I think.

017 - Gentleman's Guide

A book that's meant to help shape you into the perfect gentleman. However, it's rather demeaning towards the reader, which doesn't feel very gentleman-ly.

018 - Masculine Cologne

Very masculine, can only be used by masculine people. No weaklings allowed, or people with the common sense to smell it before purchasing, and realize it smells really bad.

019 - Fancy Sword

True to it’s name, it looks very fancy, and very intimidating. However, it's only for show, and rather blunt- perhaps inexpensive?

022 - ??? Alcohol

It's something alcoholic. This is a school, it should be confiscated, and you won't be receiving any more information.

024 - Hair Cutting Scissors

Snip snip snip, meant for hair-cutting at home, as these aren’t professional grade. Still though, try and make it even, okay?

025 - Purple Hair Dye

Pretty purple hair dye guaranteed to not come out of hair for weeks! More of a pinkish-purple than the box advertised, but still pretty.

028 - Constellation Skirt

With patterns matching actual real constellations. Despite matching the night sky, it almost seems sun-rise themed, with its pink background and pale gold stars.

030 - Bottled Tea

When heated up, it's meant to help soothe upset stomachs, and muscle aches. Popular among student athletes.

031 - Alarm Clock

It's a digital alarm clock. One of the few normal and functional things here, and it's the thing that screams at you to wake up every morning.

032 - Broken Stopwatch (x2)

It won't stop running, no pausing or restarting. You can however make it record different laps.

034 - Baseball Cap

Perfect for keeping the sun out of your face! This one is all black though, so it'll retain a lot of heat.

038 - Card Game (x3)

One easy to play, and popular among kids. The front side of the package shows a family of four playing.

039 - Reminder Booklet

A small pamphlet that gives reminders for daily things, such as eating, drinking, taking meds, etc. Also has room for you to add in unique personalized reminders.

041 - Tiovita

A Japanese energy drink sold at most convenience stores. Pretty inexpensive, and with a nice fruity flavor- but hey, only one per day!

044 - Lie Detector (x2)

Fun for the whole family! Though not incredibly accurate... wait, how do you know that?

045 - Evidence Encylopedia

A book focusing on evidence found in crime scenes. From most overlooked to most common, this book talks about it all.

049 - Track Award

A award from a middle school track and field award. The recipient of the trophy seems to have come in second in two events, and first in one.

050 - Plane Tickets (x2)

Anywhere, anytime, round trip tickets. Probably given as some sort of thank you for volunteering to get off of a accidentally over-booked flight.

051 - Therapy Advertisement (x2)

Some therapist endorsing themselves. Upon looking at the services they offer, I don't feel very inspired to go there.

056 - Soulmate Sweatshirt

A sweatshirt that supposedly brings the most comfort not when you wear it, but when holding someone wearing it. Currently smells strongly of... lavender?

057 - Scrap Metal x3

Seems to be broken bits and pieces of some sort of engine. Could be repurposed, or simply a cool trinket.

059 - Old Journal

It seems to be from the late 80s, and kept being written in up to the early 90s. There's a entry on the last page, synopsizing the birth of the owners son, and how proud the owner is of his now five year old.

060 - Paper Boat

A piece of paper that's been folded into a boat. Apparently you can fold and tear it as you tell a story to provide a visual aid for the story, but no one here knows how.

061 - Calendar

It's got pictures of internationally famous towns on it! This particular one has been written on with a note on almost every day.

064 - Face-paint Kit.

A professional face-painting kit. However, it’s missing it’s red, yellow, blue and white paint- those colors have been all used up.

065 - Life Quote Sign (x3)

A sign with some stereotypical life quote written on it in flowery lettering. Most likely to be seen hanging in a kitchen.

066 - Throwing Rings (x2)

Meant for fair games. If you have good enough aim, maybe you'll win a prize!

067 - Pleasant Savior

Seemingly a CD filled with various performances by the same person. I haven't played the CD, so I don't know what kind of performances he does though, and the name is off-putting.

069 - “Fresh” Bouquet (x3)

Somehow still smells sweet with flowers that look flawless. It's comprised of roses that have been dyed rainbow, all of them.

070 - Hair Ribbons (x3)

They come in a variety of colors, but the Monomono Machine only dispenses yellow. Guaranteed to make the wearer feel a certain sense of self-satisfaction.

071 - Girls Profile

A student profile from a all-girls academy. The paper is water-stained and some of the ink has run, so it's hard to make out what's on the paper.

073 - Baby Doll

It seems to be from around the 90s and... not quite well-loved, but well-played-with. Doesn't come with the original clothes... or hair.

075 - Dream Catcher

Made by a past SHSL. It's actually been pretty effective, and is part of the reason they got scouted.

080 - Retro Game

It's handheld, old, and extremely broken. The screen has been shattered so it displays wrong, all cracked and distorted.

081 - Blackout Curtains (x2)

Completely block out any and all light. Strong enough to plunge a room into darkness.

084 - Noise-cancelling Headphones

They completely block out all sound! Also come with the ability to adjust the size of the band, and will stay on your ears even if you pull the band down to your neck.

086 - Wall Decals

Stickers you can put on your wall. They do a decent job of covering up holes in said walls.

087 - Antique Stuffed Animal (x2)

It seems to be bunny themed, and dressed in clothes you'd see on babies in the 1930s. It's in pretty good shape, other than a few tears where the lace trim at the end has had it’s stitches removed.

088 - Embroidery Kit

Or rather, a needle and thread to be used for embroidery. There's only one needle, and one spool of thread, but hey, it’s something.

090 - Scented Markers (x2)

A full rainbow set, all with their own unique smell! Be careful though - it's hard to get these out of clothes.

092 - Fake Christmas Tree (x2)

Too plastic to be a real tree. It's also incredibly small, but real trees can be small too, so that doesn’t really mess with the realism.

093 - Hair Gel

Top of the line hair gel, and completely unopened! Helps you style your hair and keep it in place, but doesn’t give it the nicest texture.

095 - Instant Noodles

Just add water to get something hot, salty, and/or spicy! A nice meal if you're looking for something that's quick and easy, you can dress it up some too.

097 - Drink Mix

A powder used for ??? warm drink, made with milk, tastes like... something? You try it and tell me, but it smells good at the least.

099 - The DSM-I

Self-explanatory, it's the original version of the DSM, from 1952. Index cards have been slipped in-between most of the pages, talking about what happened with the information listed there.

100 - Collection Of Old Ads

Dating back to the 1920s. A magazine full of ads from a different time, it’s somewhat of a miracle the paper held up while the ideas in it didn’t.

101 - Wooden Ruler

It's a wooden ruler. Used for measuring things, nothing else- why do you ask?

102 - Building Blocks (x3)

Stacking and stacking, and sending it all crumbling down. And then you rinse and repeat.

104 - Cutesy Hair Clips

Snap clips in pastel colors and covered in designs. Oddly enough, there isn't any non-pastels, unless you count the few white clips.

106 - Newspaper Collage

Seems to be a collection of snippets from newspaper articles. There must be hundreds in here... it's a big collage.

107 - Cropped Sweatshirt

Cropped specifically due to a parent saying not to. The sweatshirt seems to be related to some organization, with the big fancy emblem on it.

109 - Pins And Patches

A mix-and-match bag full of enamel pins, buttons, and iron-on patches. Good luck finding something to do with them all.

110 - Origami Paper (x2)

Simple origami paper, in a variety of colors and patterns! Comes easy to tear out of a book, which includes instructions on basic origami types.

112 - Colorful Band-Aids.

They come in many colors, designs, even different sizes. Some seem to be made to cover up paper cuts, others meant to help skinned knees and scraped elbows.

Thank you for visiting the Monomono Machine!

~*~

Maeda, narrating - And I thought the coins were kinda heavy...

Maeda - What now?

[Free Time Event - Uehara]

{Head to Your Room}

[thisonesforfanfic]

Light in the Dark (10/?)

Bucky x Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Summary: You and Bucky finally stop running around and settle in an abandoned nightclub as your safehouse for the time being, however, he is still reluctant in letting you help him recover

Bucky was hesitant to let you accompany him, but deep down, he didn't want you to leave either. After all, his feelings for you erupted once more and he wasn't ready to let you go so easily.

Just until I make sure no one is on our trail

Those words echoed on Bucky's mind as your head rested on him. It was about 3 am, there were still a couple hours to go until the train you jumped into got to the next station. The cargo wagon was silent and eerily familiar to him, Bucky let you rest for a while as the tension on him showed no sign of relieving any time soon.

You looked so peaceful, even your breath on his neck was comforting. This was definitely the hardest decision he had to make, risk hurting you himself, or not being there for you if you were ever in danger.

Lies. Yes, though not completely. He definitely wanted to keep you safe, but most of all, he wanted to keep your embrace, to have your scent overflowing his senses, the taste of your lips still lingered on his.

---

It was the fifth destination you were headed to, even though being with Bucky was amazing, you kinda missed not having to look over your shoulder whenever you were in public. It was a little less stressing after you left everything you had on you for a certain someone to retrieve.

Steve was mad as hell because you wouldn't wait for him to meet you, and even though you wanted him to be there as well, you had to make sure no one knew where you were. Bucky and yourself had been part of Hydra's elite squad, even if the organization was dismantled, the ones who knew about you, and how to control you, could take Bucky in a heartbeat, and that was a risk you were not willing to take.

"I know it's shitty Steve, but we have to keep moving, I wasn't as careful as I should have been. You have the locker number and the password"

"Y/N, don't be so stubborn, I can get there in just a couple of hours, ju-"

"Neither of us want to put you at risk Steve, and you know we can't sit still while they might be out here hunting our heads. We are leaving right now; I will contact you as soon as I can. Just keep these things safe. Please stay safe"

Aside from a couple trinkets, photos and documents, you had left everything behind, in fear you were being tracked somehow. If Hydra infiltrated Shield, what could guarantee that their experts didn't get to the gear Steve provided you beforehand? It would be foolish to think Hydra wouldn't use all of the power they had left to get you.

And sure, hiding out with Bucky was far from the worst-case scenario. It was already immensely better than your plan of running off on your own, back then Bucky was still the winter soldier, and you knew Hydra would have sent him after you. That felt like a thousand years ago. From seeing Steve, then Bucky, saving him from the organization that took Y/B/N life, followed by stalking him and now trying to lay low, even that morning in Spain felt like ancient history.

Feelings of passion and comfort sprung out since then, and though you tried to keep them back as much as you could, having Bucky at your reach made everything OK. Even if it was just his hand brushing against yours while walking, the slight grin he couldn't hold back when you tried lightening his mood, making him laugh.

"We're here" the low groan pulled you away from your thoughts

Bucky got up and extended a hand for you to follow. The train slowed down as yet another city approached in view, the short suburban constructions rushing past you on the outskirts of Berlin were the cue to jump off once again. Your grip on his hand tighten as you stood on the wagon's door. The leap was short, but by the speed you hit the ground, bruises would definitely show.

The necessary precautions were yet again made. Your waking hours were inverted, the few times you had seen daylight lately were either dusk or dawn, either entering a new hideout or transport, the places you sneaked into were usually long abandoned, and this time you both thought it was safe to stop skipping towns. After two nights sleeping at a backroom in what once had been a nightclub, it seemed as, if anyone had still been following you, you'd lost them.

However, this meant your time with Bucky was short, since this was his condition, being safe. And despite his earlier agreement, he didn’t really want you to use your powers on his mind.

"You want me to kill you?" His voice sent chills down your spine, and though you tried to keep a brave face, he could see right through it "Y/N, I won't let you- I can't let you do this, I'll never forgive myself if anything happens"

"James, listen to me" He was stiff, the best of intentions were not enough to make him cooperate "I can tie you up if you think you'll hit me that easily, but I won't let you go without at least trying to set you free" the space between you slimmed as you approached slowly, Bucky's tension becoming more controlling of him with every step you took "You would do the same for me" your words were soothing, but it didn't make the situation any easier. Bucky reluctantly nodded before pulling you into his arms

"Just promise me something" his forehead in yours, his lips barely brushing yours, you locked eyes, waiting for him to finish "knock me out before I can do anything"

You pressed your lips on his as if it was your last chance to do so, then pulled away with a smirk.

"As if you would even have the chance" your playful laugh echoed on the empty room while you both sat crossing your legs, facing each other. You rested your hands on his temples, allowing a sheer green glow to dance over his skin.

"This might sting a little" you waited for his nod to continue "try thinking of something you remember, a good moment"

"Go ahead" his eyes were shut, concentration emanating his every pore, his flinching was barely noticeable when the color became more intense, almost aggressively pressing against his skin before flowing into him.

There's no telling how long you did it for, it felt like hours, the painful groans Bucky let out were making in harder by the second for you to keep going, not long after, you felt the exhaustion numbing your limbs before collapsing on the floor, Bucky's voice calling out your name sounded so distant, his arms around you felt warm yet barely there.

"I'm okay" your voice was as loud as a whisper, you heard him curse something under his breath while burying his face on your neck "I just need a minute, alright?" You let your hand run through his hair, softly holding him in place

"No! We are not doing this, look at you!" He cupped your face in his hands, looking worried like you had never seen him before "You can barely open your eyes Y/N"

"Seriously, I just need to rest for a while" your senses were slowly coming back, making it a little easier to move "I only did this to my mind before, I didn't realize it took so much energy to do on someone else" you locked your Y/E/C eyes on his blue ones, with a reassuring look "It's just a different kind of healing... Like multiple gunshots all at once, too deep for me to heal it all without getting the best of me" Bucky was still worried, not willing to let you free of his grip.

"I promise Buck" you sat up straight, reaching for a flask you had left nearby "but how are you feeling?"

You took a sip of something that went burning down your throat. It felt like it was reviving you in a way, connecting you back to yourself. Alcohol only had this effect on you on rare occasions, when your powers were drained by so much use, like just now.

"I guess I'm okay? If anything, I feel some sort of lightness… I can remember some things more clearly, sure" you handed him the flask, he drank in gulps, as if the burning you felt didn't affect him at all "But Y/N... I don't think we should do this right now, you should rest"

"I will have to agree" you shrugged your shoulders "If it worked to any capacity, the effect of the healing shouldn't brush off too easily just yet... Besides, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if I destroyed your ass while like this" a yawn took the place of your laughter as you got up, Bucky practically mirroring your moves.

"You are getting too cocky for someone who couldn't even tail me properly, not to mention that miserable tackle in DC" his hand rested on your lower back, guiding you to the cushions you had been sleeping on the past couple of nights "No answer huh? This thing really ran you dry" you stuck your tongue out as a response as Bucky laid you down and took his place beside you, chuckling.

"I love you, jerk" you wrapped yourself around him and fell into a dreamless slumber before you could even hear his answer.

"I love you too, doll" he didn't even dare to move as you fell asleep on his shoulder, for a moment, he actually felt grateful for what you did, especially because it meant he could be with you for a little longer.

------

The smell of fresh coffee woke you up a few hours later

"Well, this is oddly familiar" You walked out of the backroom to find Bucky setting coffee cups on the counter by the wall

"Except this time, you're the one who passed out last night, not me" his gaze met yours with a large smile "Though, I remember you were a much better drinker back then" He remembered.

"It worked! I knew it would!" You couldn't help but run into his arms, your words overflowing with relief "How are you feeling?"

"It's all coming back slowly I guess" Of course he didn't recall everything at once, but the more he talked about things, the clearer they became, so you sat there for a while, just sharing coffee and memories, forgetting about all the other problems for a couple of hours. Right now, it was very simple, just to lovers, finally laughing carelessly together again.

Almost everything you knew about Bucky's life had been recapped in your conversation, it was time to see if it really was to any use. The green glow penetrated his skin again for a few seconds, just so you both were more comfortable with continuing with the plan.

As Bucky had requested, you tied his feet together and his hands behind his back. Leaving him vulnerable enough for you to attack before he did, just in case.

"I could get used to this" You stood up, towering over him with a smirk, making his cheeks burn red

"I- *humpf*, let's just get this over with, please?" he tried avoiding your gaze for a second, a little too embarrassed by your comment

"Are you ready?" recollecting the haunting words in your mind, you waited for his last nod before saying the aloud "I love you, James, don't forget that"

But of course, it had to go wrong somehow. As soon as the words slipped out of your mouth, pain, anger and madness started taking over Bucky, you tried letting your powers flow to him, in a helpless attempt to make it go away, but to no avail.

As you stepped back to knock him out, you heard the rope snaping, just in time to dodge his blow.

Bucky was stronger than you, but much more predictable, you could tell his moves before he completed them, which thankfully gave you the advantage you needed in the occasion.

A few nearly deadly blows later, you managed to knock him out cold, or at least it seemed like it. Not willing to take that risk, you kneeled beside him to tie his hands again, only to be surprised with an unexpectedly cold grip on your neck, making it hard for you to breath.

The metal arm lifted you off the ground, Bucky's eyes were in a trance of fury, fixated on you while he pinned you up against the wall, and pulled his other arm back, ready to smash your skull right then and there.

The surroundings began to blur, you managed to lift your hand up to his chest and a barely visible wave floated to him, along with a faint whisper of his name before his fist got any closer to you. The last thing you saw was the horror take over his eyes as your whole body gave in, along with a loud thump just inches from your face.

#############

Thanks for reading!

[mystiika]

re; shin’s powers

   please note all of these are canon. i may be going into more detail than was provided in the show, but i haven’t added anything he didn’t do or can’t do canonically. & pretty much all of this can be found on his wiki page as well ( albeit sometimes with different wording ). he’s just this op

   i also want to say that i did my best to make this with some kind of flow between abilities since there’s a lot to get through. i’m also rewatching the series so hopefully i’ll be able to add direct examples for some of the more outlandish concepts

nigh-omnipotence  — he’s unimaginably powerful compared to most existing beings & is next to indestructible. it’s implied that he can easily defeat even the mightiest beings & creatures. the only being in canon we know to be above him is the being that turned him into the goblin, which he & others refer to as ‘the Almighty’

immortality — he can only die if his bride pulls the sword out of his chest. he is immune to everything else ( ie age, diseases, viruses, infections, sicknesses etc. ) he also cannot die of suffocation, drowning, or poisoning

regenerative healing — the ability to heal & regenerate all physical & mental harm to himself instantly. any damaged area or lost anatomy will be completely restored with no lingering side effects, even forcing objects embedded out to heal properly. it allows him to rapidly regenerate any damaged or destroyed bodily molecules, cells, tissues, bones, limbs, organs, etc instantaneously

biokinesis — the ability to manipulate the biological aspects of other creatures & beings. he normally uses this ability to inflict harm on his victims as punishment  & can be used through a gesture or snap of fingers. this also leads into the next power

healing — the ability to heal injuries of other beings as well as himself. he can even cure diseases, viruses, infections, sicknesses, poisoning, etc. as long as he’s in proximity to them he can even heal other beings without touching them. i’ll also include reconstitution in this which is the ability to reform the body of something or someone if it is completely or partially destroyed ( though this can be applied to non-living item restoration as well )

resurrection — the ability to either bring himself or others back to life from death of any means. he can even accomplished it through spells or rituals ( according to his wiki though i don’t remember this particular part being mentioned in the show ). he can resurrect all forms of life back to any state he'd like, such as living or undead states

banishing — the ability to forcibly exile someone & forbid their return. we see him do this with supernatural creatures but one would assume he can do it with humans as well if he chose to

intangibility — the ability to alter one's molecular structure to move through physical matter. he can also dodge attacks from enemies through this ability

sedation — the ability to render other beings unconscious with a touch or gesture

power negation — the ability to prevent other supernatural beings from using their powers

absorption — the ability to absorb any form of energy at will. for example, we see him do this to absorb the shock of an attack that sent eun tak flying

life divination — the ability to see someone’s life path ( past, present, & future ) when they come into contact with him ( or if he’s meant to be their guardian ) but this sight is easiest when he looks in their eyes

regular divination  — the ability to know or see aspects of the future ( several times through the series he’s asked about the answers for things, one example was him telling someone the alleged winning lottery numbers which was later proven to be correct. i’m not sure how else to describe it, he can just see the future in general but it isn’t all encompassing. another example was he said he knew all the correct answers to an exam but still had to ask what day the exam was taking place )

teleportation/apportation — the ability to teleport himself ( to other beings, objects, or places ) across small distances freely, but can also teleport long distances through the use of doors. however, only eun tak can follow him through the long-distance doors. he can also be teleported unwillingly to eun tak’s location if she deliberately blows out a flame. he can also summon someone into his vicinity

weaponry refinement — the ability supernaturally enhance his sword to destroy anything & fight off other supernatural entities & can summon the sword at will

expert swordsman/combatant — he’s highly skilled in unarmed & melee combat. he is master in weaponry which includes ancient as well as modern weapons & can easily defeat other beings in combat

enhanced strength — he has supernatural strength & is able to lift seemingly anything with extreme ease including a person/entity with one hand

enhanced speed — more than just super speed, he is able to appear & disappear with a blink of an eye, & are able to move across a room within a second. he can move, run, jump, climb, & fly at the speed of light

enhanced senses — acute senses that are above superhuman level. he can see, hear, smell, taste, & feel ( physical sensation ) more accurately than other beings

enhanced physical prowess — his durability, stamina, vitality, virility & endurance have been enhanced to superhuman levels. he also has a higher tolerance to pain. additionally, his agility, dexterity, balance, & body coordination are enhanced to levels that are beyond the natural physical limits of any human

telekinesis/psychokinesis — his telekinesis is limitless. for example, he is able to levitate small objects simultaneously & float above the ground as well as send other people flying should he choose to. naturally, he can also control small movements. this ability can be channelled through both his eyes & hands

telepathy — the ability to transfer information from one mind to another, & to read mind & thoughts of humans, animals & other beings without the aid of physical or audio communication. this means he’s also able to he’s able to speak in & read the mind of an intended target

elementalist — the ability to create & control all elements at will, such as energy, light etc. he can create gusts of wind, & throw spheres of energy similar to electrical discharges as well as fire balls. he also has the ability to unleash a blast of energy that can knock beings back with great force. we’re led to believe he can also control planets to some degree as we see him create a red supermoon.

fire manipulation ( specifically ) — he can manipulate a blue flame with his hands or engulf his entire body in a shimmering blue flame as well as throw fireballs of any size. he can also incinerate a being with a stare or gesture

( unintentional ) weather/nature manipulation — less of a power & more of a side effect of being a goblin, whenever he’s feeling an emotion intensely, it affects the weather & nature in the general region he is in. for example, when he feels incredibly happy the cherry blossoms bloom, even if it is not the season for them to do so or torrential downpour rain when he’s depressed. natural disasters like typhoons, however, are not him, that’s just the planet

other elemental manipulations — the ability to generate protective invisible force fields, thermokinesis ( the ability to control & manipulate heat ), photokinesis ( the ability to control & manipulate light), electrokinesis ( the ability to control & manipulate electricity & bolts of lightning )

visual manipulation/illusion casting — the ability to create small or large illusions such as sprouting fireflies from his hand or something on a more massive scale

invisibility — the ability to make himself or others unable to be seen by other beings

monetary manipulation — the ability to manipulate money, wealth, & anything related to them & thus is infinitely wealthy

physical manipulation — not sure how to phrase this one. he can essentially control small movements? think of like a puppeteer & a marionette but make it bigger. he someone trip, have someone’s ear buds catch on someone’s bag in passing etc

mental manipulation/mind control — the ability to manipulate the minds of others beings into thinking or believing certain things

emotional manipulation — going along with the one above, he can also make people fall in love, kinda like a cupid

time manipulation — he can freeze time at will & for however long he wants. He can also speed up or slow down time. the only human who is immune to this is eun tak, who can continue to move & speak freely even while time is frozen. he can also continue moving if some other being ( ie. a grim reaper ) stops time

astral perception — the ability to perceive true form of beings invisible to human's eye as well as being able to see supernatural incidents. for example, was able to recognise the grim reaper when he saw him

location tracking — the ability to track & locate beings. it’s not 100% effective/accurate though as we see him unable to find euntak at various points in the series

conjuring — the ability to create objects & beings into existence out of nothing

wish granting — the ability to grant wishes

& then here’s a list of abilities listed on the wiki but i have yet to confirm in my rewatch or in traditional lore. this information will be added to the list above or be removed depending:

smiting — the ability to kill other beings with a touch, gesture or snap of fingers at will. this ability will burn the victim from inside & can burn the victim's eyes specifically if desired

molecular combustion — the ability to kill other beings by rendering them down to their molecules, causing them to explode with snap of his fingers

reality warping — the ability to warp reality itself

dream walking — the ability to communicate to someone through their dreams. he can also visit alternate realities through dreams

portal creation — the ability to open portals to parallel worlds, dimensions, or planes, etc

duplication — the ability to create duplicates of himself or others

shape shifting —  the ability to alter his physical shape to assume the appearance of another

transformation — the ability to alter the physical shape of another being or object

transmogrification — the ability that allows the user to alter their form into inanimate objects

power granting — the ability to grant powers to another being

technopathy — the ability to control & manipulate all forms of technology ( this doesn’t mean he necessarily understands all technology, just that he can control it if he wanted/tried to )

additionally, goblins can perform larger feats such as bring good harvests, big catches & great fortunes to humans as seen in traditional folklore. they are also known to be defenders against evil spirits despite their mischievous habits & i’ve seen nothing in canon to indicate otherwise

[football15-7fics]

Little Princess - Chapter 1

July 21, 2017 London

It was one of those usual evenings, where friends had their plans organized, some would watch movies, some would play video games, some would have some drinks together or others would have intellectual chats.   On that Saturday evening, Adrianna, Jane, Claire and Kylie had decided to stay over at Adrianna's luxurious apartment in London.  The girls chose for a pyjama party as it was Adrianna's last day in town. She decided to settle back for good in her hometown Dortmund. Of course she's keep her London's apartment as it belonged to her.  But being away from Germany got her melancholic, she felt she had to return back to where she was born. All was perfectly set up for the night, drinks, food, weeds, Instagram live, champagne, who would get bored then. As time flew, Adrianna felt herself bored, she was the type of girl that had the urge to get entertained.  And no, her friends were not to be blamed for that, the matter was her. As it was her last night in Town, she decided it had to be celebrated in the most thrilling way with one last round of heavy drinking and illicit pleasure at favorite club "PURE". Her friends couldn't agree less, it had to be a memorable night for each of them.

^_^

July 22, 2017

It was a perfect sunny weather outside, which was very appreciated by the Londoners as ordinarily, rain and dark clouds were what they got served even in summer time.

Adrianna gently opened her heavy eyes to adjust them to the light beam that were filtered through the white curtains of the window.  As her eyes were fully opened, a sharp pain emerged from them, running to her head. It was like a hundredth of knives had been inserted inside her brain and someone was shaking her skull.  That pain was not a joke.   She leveled her back and put herself sitting on the bed with just a white bed sheet covering her naked body.  She stared at her nake body with stupor as she couldn't get why she was naked in that bed. She slapped herself on the cheek trying to convince herself that she was dreaming, but the reality was there, she was naked.

"OMG!!!" She spoke to herself in a panicked voice.  Firstly she examined the hotel room and could notice that clothes of hers and of somebody else were scattered on the floor.

"Oh fuck jesus!" She cursed as she looked next to her.  Her mouth covering her mouth, as if she felt guilt invading her.

"Fuck..." she shook her head with disgust. She barely had memory of what happened last night, beside that she had loads of shots, probably way too much.   She stared at the man who was laying next to her, sleeping safe and sound. "Gosh!" She exclaimed.  Her brain still drenched last night, heavy drinks couldn't sort out who that guy was.   What she was certain about was that they had sex, hardcore sex from judging the soreness of her pussy and her body aching.   Adrianna breathed heavily, as she gently got out of the bed with no materials to cover her body.  She tip-toed collecting her clothes and made her way to the bathroom closing the door without making a noise. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, and saw red marks on her neck, her boobs and her thighs.   "Who the fuck is that guy, what did he do to me!!!" She spoke to herself as she dressed on her black leather panty, bra and the outfit she wore last night.

Adrianna smelled sex on her body  and her skin tasted sweaty. Of course this scenario had happened quite frequently, having sex with unknowingly strangers, she loved to fuck guys and she enjoyed being fucked savagely.  But on this time her senses alarmed her that it was a different, that this guy she fucked with was eerie, a feeling of guilt submerged her She desperately needed a hot shower to clean her body off him, but it was out of question to have it there in that luxurious bathroom.  .

She remembered if her friends, Adrianna wondered desperately of their whereabouts.  "They probably know a bit more on what happened last night, who the guy I fucked with name and ... damn!" She mumbled. "I got to get out of here and grab a taxy to bring me back home!" She said as she opened the bathroon door as quietly as she could as to not wake up her one stand sex partner.  She successfully made it out of the room hotel and breathed out relieved. All she wanted was to get to her home as quickly she could but her body aching made it difficult for her to walk at her usual fast pace.  

As she made her way to the elevator, she hastily typed on her iPhone screen a quick text message to Claire.

"Come over NOW!! It's urgent!! I'm on my way!!!"

3 Hours Later

After a cold shower, Adrianna felt refreshed and could compose herself again.  She put on a white mini short and a fluorescent yellow tank top. As she handed on her charging phone, she looked at herself in the huge mirror fixed on the white wall of her bedroom. Red marks on her neck she unnoticed earlier were now visible to her surprise.

"What the fuck…" She cursed but her ringing phone got her distracted.  Claire's name appeared on the screen soothing Adrianna.

"Where the hell are you Claire?" Adrianna shouted over the phone.

"Open the door girl, it's locked." This one answered softly.

Adrianna ended the call and walked straight to her main door entrance and typed the passcode that allowed Claire to get inside the apartment

"Holy shit!!" A whammy Claire reacted at the view of Adrianna's neck.

"Yes, holy shit.. " Adrianna shot back as she closed the door and moved to the living room where she sat on the white sofa.

"What the hell happened with you girl?" Claire still open mouthed.

"I fucked or I was fucked…"

"Yeah, I see that, must have been the hell of a ride girl!" Claire smiled.

"Absolutely, I have red marks all over my body and I can't walk properly… what the fuck happened?' Adrianna asked desperately.

"Okay, I see that you are in a blackout!"

"Yes, and I want you to tell me what happened!!! I can't collect any memories of last night!"

"Of course you won't you were heavily drunk baby…"

"Yes I know that but what I want to know is what happened after…"

"Oh you mean the Jadon part?" Claire had a naughty smile on her lips.

"Jadon?" Adrianna shook her head.

"Wait let me explain to you hun, you know this club is highly renowned and many footballers love that place!!!"

"I know that okay, just come to the point straight please!"

"There were a bunch of players of Manchester City on last night, and we kinda of befriended, and there was this young and super cute guy, Jadon Sancho… You two talked very much, had drinks over drinks, but you were lot more drunk than him, and you disappeared!!"

"Huh… yeah… footballer…!"

"Come on don't blush or feel uncomfortable, it's not like you had sex with a footballer for the very first time, Mats!!!"

"Shut up.. but why do you say young, is he younger than me?" A dazzled Adrianna asked.

"Yes he's a lot younger…"

"Wait… don't tell me more of it, he's a footballer I can find his age on google.!"

Adrianna hastily typed Jadon Sancho in the google search bar.  His basic informations shown up on the phone screen with his birthdate, March 25, 2000. She stopped breathing for quite some seconds and read again the birthdate.  Shock rumbled every inch of her body.  

"OMG… I had sex with a child, what the fuck!!" She exclaimed. "He's 17 only…"

"Oh damn…" Claire laughed sarcastically. "Baby, it was just one night stand… you have nothing to worry about!! I'm sure he forgot already… At least you had fun together!"

"Oh please say no more of it… I need coffe!"

[capmackie]

truth hurts (not as much as losing you)

sambucky week ‘19 day vi: touch / mission gone wrong (avengers if you squint) @sambuckyevents

They aren’t even fully on the battlefield yet before the mad scientist is firing away.

It’s AIM this time, Bucky briefly remembers, ducking for cover as some kind of goo whizzes past his head. But who cares — it’ll always be someone; some secret organization, some alien, someone Tony Stark wronged — the point is there will always be a fight.

To be honest, Bucky’s really fucking over it.

But before he gets to lament the alien scientist with a gold gun, shooting what looks like jello — seriously, what even is his life right now? — he sees Steve get hit right in the mouth with it.

Next, Wanda.

Springing into action, Bucky follows the scientist’s line of sight, eyeing her next target: Sam. In two seconds flat, he covers the entire base of the now leveled city, making it just in time to knock Sam out of the way, only to be hit with the substance instead.

And it ain’t jello.

The first thing Bucky notices is that whatever it is smells horrible. A putrid kind of smell, like rotting flesh. It’s sticky, gelatinous in texture, stretching when Bucky vigorously tries to pull it off his face, only for it to snap back into place.

The second thing Bucky notices is that he’s currently sprawled on top of a bewildered Sam, eyes wide in confusion, then amusement at whatever is currently muffling Bucky’s mouth.

“If only I would’ve known that was all it took to shut you up.”

Bucky really, truly wishes he would’ve just let the goo hit Sam instead.

—

Being held in a containment chamber whilst being scrubbed within an inch of his life was the very last thing Bucky would’ve expected to happen to him today but alas. He honestly shouldn’t be as bothered, it’s not even top five weirdest things that’s happened to him as an honorary Avenger.

The top spot belongs to Sam, who after months of being told by Bucky to ‘suck his dick’ as an insult, actually sucked his dick and well —

(Spots two to five belong to Sam as well; the two of them quickly figuring out the incessant need to push each other’s buttons was only a cover for the mountain of sexual tension between them.)

But that was the past and Sam has someone else he’s sweet on now. Someone normal and not an Avenger and not a super-solider with a lifetime worth of issues — three lifetimes actually.

And Bucky’s happy for him, happy that his friend can experience as much normalcy as someone in their shoes could possibly experience. And if there’s something, something clawing at the back of his throat, itching to come out, to say things like “he’s not right for you” or “he’ll never understand you” or “he has terrible style”, well that’s no one’s business but his own.

The sound of FRIDAY calling his name breaks Bucky out of his distraction. He’s experienced a myriad of emotions when it comes down to Sam, but jealousy is new. Jealously is unfamiliar, irritating, prickles at his skin whenever he focuses on Sam’s new guy for too long.

“I have good news Sergeant Barnes”, the AI starts, voice calming. “We’ve discovered what the strange substance you’ve encountered is.”

There’s a whirring sound as FRIDAY boots up an adjacent monitor, cleanly labeling the compounds of the goo and their respective side effects.

Most of the chemicals are indeed alien but the ones Bucky readily recognizes causes alarm.

FRIDAY must sense the concern because she continues the evaluation, assuring Bucky that whatever he was hit with won’t hurt him but —

“It’s some kind of truth serum.”

As comforting as holographic, artificial intelligence can be, FRIDAY once again reassures Bucky that he’ll be okay but confirms that he was indeed, doused with a short-acting truth serum of sorts.

The technicalities of the serum are lost on Bucky — he barely catches that the effects, if any, might kick in suddenly and then subside just as quickly.

No, he’s too busy rearranging his list, putting ‘getting hit with truth serum’ at number three, replacing the time he once rimmed Sam till the man cried.

—

Locking himself in his room is obviously the best and most adult option Bucky has in his arsenal.

He can’t trust his mouth now that the serum has started to affect him. His temperature is elevated, he feels light and giddy in a way one would never associate with the Winter Soldier. He’s been annoyingly honest — and well, yeah, but it kinda ruins the ‘quiet storm’ persona he’s adopted and ran with.

In the time it took to leave the lab and make it to his room, Bucky’s assured multiple Avengers that he didn’t actually hate them, very few believed it, but it was true. He told Steve he was an idiot — harsh, but also, true.

He even complimented Sam on his date night attire and — there was that jealousy again. Unfamiliar and irritating and stretching him taut like a live wire’s running through him. But there’s something else there too, vibrating underneath his skin, it’s frequency so high, Bucky’s surprised the windows haven’t combusted yet. It’s right on the tip of his tongue, etching into his brain, begging to be acknowledged.

But Bucky doesn’t. He wishes Sam well on his date and goes back to his room, locking it behind him.

—

It’s late when Bucky finally leaves his den.

He’s itching for some water, itching for some relief from both the effects of the serum — fever, restlessness, the need to be as soul-baringly honest as possible — and the dormant emotions regarding Sam.

And as if the universe is purposely fucking with him, he runs right into one Sam Wilson in the kitchen, opening a bottle of water and taking a long drink.

The visual of it all is overwhelming— Sam’s throat bared, the way his arms deliciously stretch the fabric of the navy polo, the way he smiles at Bucky — sticky and sweet, just like honey.

“How was your date?”

The words are out before Bucky’s mind even begins to process them. But it’s fine, Bucky truly, honestly wants to know how Sam’s evening was.

Wants to know where he went

Wants to know if Sam enjoyed himself

“Does new guy make you feel like I do?”

And by the way Sam's eyes go a bit wide, the way his arm stops in mid-air just as he goes to take another sip, turning to face Bucky full-on now, Bucky knows he asked that last question out loud.

But he can’t help himself now, it’s like the floodgates have been broken, he needs to know.

“Do you ever think about us?”

It’s a loaded question and Bucky really doesn’t mean to come on so strong, but apparently, a lesser-known side effect of the serum is being as blunt as possible, exhibiting a brashness Bucky knows he’s never had before.

“Give me one night and you’ll never think about him again.”

And that, that truly gets a reaction out of Sam. Normally, so cool, so calm, Bucky can clearly see the effect his words are having on the man.

His pupils are blown back, the brown of the irises almost completely hidden. Sam isn’t smiling; there’s no humor to him now, no witty comeback, so smart-ass retort. And that does something to him.

Closing the distance between them, Bucky settles his hands on Sam’s hip — one flesh and one metal, and pulls the smaller man closer, flush to his chest.

Bending down to lick the shell of Sam’s ear, Bucky pulls back, whispering, “I can treat you better than him.”

Pushing even closer, the cabinet groaning in protest at the added weight, Bucky murmurs, “I can fuck you better than him.”

The kitchen is quiet, save for the sound of Sam sharply sucking in a breathe. But Sam’s rarely flustered for too long.

“How about you show me, old man?”

—

When Bucky awakes, tangled in Sam, he knows the truth serum is slowly ebbing away.

He doesn’t feel as warm, doesn’t feel as uneasy as he did last night, doesn’t remember much of the past 24 hours to be honest.

But he does remember cornering Sam, does remember the taste of Sam’s tongue in his mouth, the taste of cinnamon gum and cinnamon whiskey making his knees weak. He remembers landing in bed with Sam but he distinctly remembers feeling so light, so high in Sam’s embrace, that he’s sure he flew away at some point too.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Sam’s morning voice is beautiful like he is, deep and sensual. Bucky wants to hear that voice first thing in the morning for as many mornings as he’s allowed. And with the last bit of the truth serum still in his bloodstream, Bucky tells Sam exactly that.

He doesn’t stop there either.

“I want to watch the sun kiss your skin as you wake up and I want to follow suit.”

Rolling over so he’s leaning over Sam, one hand propping him up, Bucky continues. “I know I don’t want to do this with anyone else, this is it for me.”

—

When it’s all said and done, Bucky knows this moment of haunting truthfulness is a bit much — he and Sam only just gradually making the transition from enemies to lovers and for Bucky to spring something so heavy and so sudden — and oh god, what if Sam doesn’t feel the same way —

No, when Bucky looks back at this moment, he won’t remember the blush that crept over him after the confession, won’t remember how the hand that hovered over Sam’s ribs, fingertips lightly brushing the other man’s skin, shook — he won’t even remember Sam’s morning breath.

The only thing he’ll remember from the day he and Sam made things official would be the way his boyfriend smiled up at him, kissing him gently and then urgently, rolling him onto his back, gaining the upper hand.

“Man, I thought you’d never ask me out.”

[teagrl]

This week’s snippet comes from my break up fic. The summary is Mara, knowing Luke is about to leave and start the academy thinks it best they break up. Of course, it’s ah, not as easy as she thinks. It’s a rather rom commy fic, that also shows what the ordinary lives of my faves in Coruscant post TTT would be like. The city is the third protagonist and a lot of the action crosses all parts of it, from fancy concert dates to undercity market outings (and business). A lot of it is about Mara’s work for the NR, kinda (and her work for Karrde). It’s a huge change of pace from my action plot stuff and it has no Force woo.

Previous snippets here, here, here (and that one is my fave),  here, here, here.

Whoa, that’s a lot of snippets, but it’s a 50K’er after all about 3/4ths done. I’ll return to it at some point when I’m back into fluffier waters.

She’s at the Works again by the end of the week. This time her muscle consists of four Barabels, a standard detail for arms trading.

Jasir’s people bring out something. A pod about a meter and a half long -- as big as the crate she brought.

Mara restrains a sigh. “I expected a holo.”

“So you can see. It hunts us,” Jasir tells her. “Take it to boss. We are honor beings. Not make requests.” He stops as if searching for the word. “Requests unreasonable. We do not make them.”

“I know.” Mara gestures to the crate in front of the Barabels. “You have been loyal partners, which is why we’ve agreed.” The Barabels move the crate towards Jasir. Only he stays in his spot, the rest of his people skitter away.

The Barabels siss in amusement. Mara shoots them a glare, but continues, “And I keep my word, as I told you. The blasters are tagged, which means that we will be able to trace them. These are for your protection against this threat. Should we hear otherwise.” Her hired Barabels’ scales bristle. “We have ways of procuring them, even in the Undercity.”

Jasir stares at them with that blank expression Nikto were known for, not out of having a good sabacc face necessarily, but because their anatomy didn’t allow for expressiveness the way a human face would. “Understand.”

She walks over to the pod. It was too big Where would she take something like this? She looks up, an alarming thought popping into her head. “It’s dead, right?”

Jasir nodds.

Relieved, Mara opens the pod and immediately tamps on her revulsion. The beast is doglike in appearance, but with gray and hairless skin. Only the about a two by three feet portion is in the pod, having been cleaved at what Mara assumed was its middle. The cut is clean, a band of red of frozen blood, muscle with the white of bone visible underneath. Should have been about a meter long, she conjectures, taking in the two legs. Long ears and a mouthful of teeth. No eyes. Undercity beasts are seldom pretty.

She hadn’t anticipated on getting an actual sample. Storage for organisms, especially ones this big, entailed some preparation in advance and she has an afternoon meeting to make at the Senate Building.  Blast it, she should have specified she wanted a holo.

“ I can’t take the whole thing. It’s too big. I have nowhere to store it. Tell one of your people to get me a smaller pod. You can do that right?”

Jasir calls out something in a language Mara couldn’t understand. One of his underlings springs out departing the factory.

With a sound of exasperation Mara reaches into her satchel for her gloves and then her vibroblade. 

“We can slice it,” one of the Barabel’s offers.

“But will you resist the temptation to have a bite,” she mutters.

“It smellz,” the Barabel replies though she hadn’t expected a response, “Disgusting”

Mara makes a face. This is the first time she’d encountered an organism that a Barabel would be loathe to sink its teeth into. That meant something, she supposed. Thankfully, she was human and the frozen preservation of it meant it didn’t smell any worse that anything she’d encountered in the undercity.

“Have at it.” She nods at the Barabel, slipping on her gloves.

Afterwards Jasir’s underling arrives with a smaller version of the pod, about as big as an ice box. He says something to Jasir in their language.

“It’s only good for eight hours.” Jasir bows his head in a gesture Mara reads as apology. “We could not find anything to last longer.”

“That’s fine.” The Barabel hands her the beast’s leg to examine and Mara glances at it then tosses it into the smaller container and seals it. Her other Barabel hands her a biohazard bag to throw out her gloves. She needed to get going if she was going to drop off the speeder and take the maglev back to the Ministry. “We’ll be in touch,” she calls out grabbing the hand pod and heading to her speeder, the Barabels behind her.

Traffic is predictably awful once she gets into the spacelanes. It takes her a while to drop off her muscle and the speeder at the spaceport. She has no time and no idea yet where to drop off the hand pod,  so she ends up taking it with her back to the Senate Building, leaves it beside her desk while she runs to the meeting.

Itapli is typing away at her desk when she returns.

“Mara,” she says. “I don’t want to judge human tastes, but the smell of your lunch is making me dizzy.”

“It’s not my lunch,” she grumbles, grabbing the pod and cursing overzealous contacts, Mikkian olfactory senses, and shared offices. She’s trying to think of the nearest lockers and where she might take it after when Saye comes up to her.

“I finished with the production forecast of anemone at Mon Calamari. Do you want-- oh you brought lunch today --” She stops with a wince.

“Not my lunch,” Mara corrects sharply. Saye opens her mouth to keep going on what she’s completed when a thought occurs to Mara.

“You’re a student at Bin University.” Saye tilts her head, by now she knows when something is a lead to something else. “Know anyone at their Xenobiology Lab?”

She frowns. “Not really. I could ask around. Why?”

Mara gestures to Saye and goes into a meeting room for discretion and lowers her voice, hand pod still in hand. “I have a contact from the Undercity who thinks there might be a new infestation of something.”

“Shouldn’t Pest Control be involved then? They don’t ask any questions.”

Mara narrows her eyes. This is not a commonly known fact. “Pest Control is more preoccupied with killing pests than studying them.” If Pest Control nosed around Jasir and his people it would be tantamount to betrayal, the difference between Pest Control and Sector Police is not as apparent to them. “Just ask around and see who I can talk to.”

“We’re doing this on behalf of the Smuggler’s Alliance?” 

Mara shakes her head. “Don’t use your name or mine, give them another,” she plucks out one from her memory she hasn’t used in a long time and certainly not in a government capacity, “Try Lorn Senni.”

Saye’s flash of recognition almost makes Mara take a step back, but it’s too late for Mara to do anything, but look at the Zabrak, trying to seem aloof. It’s not that rare a name. Saye might have confused it with something else she’d heard.

“Got it,” is all Saye says. “I’ll ask.”

They exit the meeting room and the liaison for Mytaranor sector, Lumbakk crosses the room, approaching with his protocol droid, sniffing. He growls out a greeting and continues in a series of grunts stating his business.

“Greetings, Ms. Jade,” the protocol droid announces. “Master Lumbakk is wondering if you are now free to discuss the Wookie Trade Guild’s semi-annual report as was agreed upon.”

“Yes, of course” Mara says. She’d forgotten that she’d settled on that yesterday. “Of course. We can go into meeting room 4besh. It should be free.”

Lumbakk grunts out something vaguely affirmative sounding, but then looks at the pod in Mara’s hands and grunts out something far less positive sounding.

“Master Lumbakk asks respectfully if you’d consider leaving your lunch outside. The smell is quite...distracting.”

Mara’s smile goes thin. “Not my lunch, excuse me a second.” She goes to Saye and places the pod beside her desk. “Hold on to this for me,” she whispers.

Her intern’s face twists. “Wait, what--”

Mara rushes back to the meeting room.

[ririban]

One Month

I wrote an original story for a college assignment (I'm a physics major though. This is for a foundation course. Just saying.) and posted it here as it felt kinda sad to just delete it…

~*~*~

I wonder how many days it’s been now… Has it been a week yet? Perhaps more? How much longer do I need to continue with this? Well, as long as I can get out of this god forsaken country, anything will do, I guess… Besides, this is not so bad… Kinda lonely I suppose… And a little boring…

When was the last time I spoke to someone? I’ve never really been a social butterfly in the first place I guess… Ah! That girl on the street leading to the market! That was the last time I spoke to someone! Oh, but I did speak to some of the scientists when I signed up for this thing! But I do wonder what happened to that little girl… I gave her a piece of bread but what about after that? Did she get any food after that? Will she still be alive when I get out of here? If she continues living in this country, I doubt that will be possible… I wanna get out of here soon.

It’s so easy to lose track of things when I’m like this… Oh yeah! The researcher responsible for me said that I should constantly remind myself of my circumstances so as to not lose grasp of reality. Ah… so let’s see… The country I belong to went into war with one of the neighbouring countries and lost. This led to the neighbouring country invading us and turning us into another of their colonies. Honestly, what was the government even thinking? Going into war with a major military power like that! Sheesh! We all already knew that we’re gonna lose. Making them our allies would have been much better! And since part of the war was fought using chemicals, the soil was damaged thanks to which the agricultural sector took a major hit and is now practically dead. And people are just left to starve. A result of this is frequent thievery and fights and sometimes even murder. The water pipelines were also damaged leading to lack of clean water, so people started drinking stagnated water which gave rise to epidemics. Medicines are too expensive. These days it’s not really a surprise to find corpses rotting away on the roadsides. And the new government set up by our colonisers have no interest in dealing with all this.

Then the government informed us of a new research project they were funding. They needed volunteers to be test subjects. They said that those who do end up going through with the experiment would be allowed to leave the country and even be provided money to start their life in a new country. Considering how difficult it is to even move from one part of the country to another, let alone relocating to a different country, I sure as hell wasn’t about to let this opportunity pass me by. And even though I was among the more financially privileged, the rising food prices were leading to a hole in my pocket. I don’t even have a family or anyone I care about here, so I didn’t see the point of continuing to put up with this hell. This was the perfect opportunity, so I took it.

Living without any senses sure is hard… One month huh? If I stay without any senses for a month will I really develop a sixth sense? Ah well, I guess the whole point of this experiment is that they don’t know what will happen. That’s why this is an experiment, isn’t it?

No sight, no sound, no smell, no taste, no touch… I wonder, is this what dying feels like? Since this experiment started I’ve kinda felt like I have been floating around in space. I mean, there’s no way I can even tell where I am or what’s going on around me… I’m pretty much disconnected from the world… To me, everything seems to have come to a standstill but even when I’m in this state, time keeps on flowing… The Earth still keeps on moving around the sun… Day turns to night, night turns to day… The world is unconcerned with my existence…

If I were to die now, would I feel any pain? My nerve ends have been blocked so I’ll likely not feel anything… What does living even mean? Just having your heart continue to pump blood to your organs… Is that what living is? Or is it the things you experience that makes you alive… If it’s the latter, can I still be considered to be among the living? Or am I already dead?

Even when I’m like this, I still sleep, I still dream. I dream of the walks I took in the forest surrounding my hometown. This was long ago… long before the war started… It was a beautiful place, very pleasing to the eyes… There was a stream there… The water was cool… I used to enjoy feeling the water run over my bare feet… The flowers in the nearby field always smelled so nice… And the sounds of the birds chirping were always so sweet… So was the sound of my mother’s voice as she called me to come and eat… The food she made was so delicious… So warm and so fresh…

Oh, but… did that really happen? Or was a dream all it was? Did I even have a life before this? Or did I just imagine it? Just dream it up? Fabricated memories… Fabricated feelings… A fabricated life…

What?! What was that?! A sound?! And why is it suddenly so bright?!

“Careful there. It’s going to take you a while to get adjusted.”

Guh! So loud! It’s giving me a headache!

“Ah!”

Did that sound come from my mouth? From my throat? Is this what my voice sounds like?

Goddammit! Stop shining that stupid light in my eyes it hurts!

“There, there. It’s okay. You’ll get used to it soon.”

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”

Ah! My own voice makes my head hurt!

“Don’t touch me!”

My shoulder hurts! That guy gripped it too hard!

“Stop! Stop it! Don’t be too rough with him! He still needs to learn how to adjust to his senses!”

Thank god! My eyesight seems a bit clearer now! Is the man screaming the scientist who was studying me? It seems that he is.

“This man showed amazing results!”

Who’s that guy? I don’t think I’ve seen him before… Seems to be another one of the scientists though…

“Ouch!”

I get that you wanted to get the headgear off of me, but can’t you be gentle! It hurts!

“I just said to not be rough with him!”

That guy is screaming again! Damn! This makes my head hurt really bad!

“This headgear is used to measure the subject’s brainwaves and the data is then transmitted to our computers.”

There’s another person I haven’t seen before… Looks to be one of the government big-shots…He hasn’t said much, has he? Only listening to the explanations he’s being provided. Ah he seems to be saying something!

“… Continue studying him.”

What did he say before that? By “him” does he mean me? But why? I should be allowed to leave now, right? The digital newspaper I saw earlier said that the date today is 31 October, 2087. It’s been a month, hasn’t it? I should be free now!

“But of course! We have every intention to continue studying him! His brain waves have shown incredible activity! We believe that he may have actually developed a sixth sense!”

A sixth sense? Me? Is that why I won’t be allowed to leave? Why? I’ve done my part damnit!

What sense do I have, I wonder… Mind reading? Nah, I doubt that. I can’t tell what these guys are thinking after all. The ability to transmit my thoughts to others? Well, even if I do have that, I wouldn’t know about it myself…

Or could I?

Oi! If anybody’s hearing this right now, I could really use some help! Somebody? Anybody?

Maybe they can’t get to me in time? Or maybe they just don’t care? I’m just grasping at straws here anyway.

“H-Hey! He has a gun!”

“Which of you fools just left your gun lying around?! What kind of careless security guards are you?! Fools!”

If there’s anybody who can hear me, I wonder do you only here my conscious thoughts or can you hear my subconscious desires as well? If you can’t, let me give you a narration.

I found a gun lying on one of the tables and took it. This was while those guys were discussing how to further study me.

At present, this gun is pointed at them. More specifically, at the government official. The security guards naturally have their guns trained on me. I’ll probably be shot down the moment I pull the trigger. And I have no experience with guns not to mention the fact that for a month I wasn’t even aware of my body and its movements. I’ll probably miss anyway.

I’m currently bending my elbow and twisting my wrist, experimenting with the motion of my joints. The muzzle of the gun is no longer pointing at that man. Everyone is visibly relaxing. Now their faces are once again showing expressions of horror. Why? Because the muzzle is now pointing at my head.

I don’t want to go through that again. That half dead state. That hopelessness and darkness. That fear of not even knowing whether you’re alive. I can’t go through that! I can’t continue to be a guinea pig!

So, if I can’t escape, I must die. But I want to die by my own agents. I don’t want to be killed by anybody else. My hands are the only ones that will be stained with my blood.

I’m tightening my grip on the trigger.

Ah! That was too loud!

[utopia-game]

INTERVIEW: Sadira sits down with Maugrim

Good morning Utopians! With the smell of baked goods, look who ventured onto my stoop. Its Maugrim!! Morning Maugrim. Mmmm cookies. Hello! Lets get some generic questions out of the way then we will pick your brain later. Tell everyone who you play for currently. Currently I play/lead in Barcoloco. I helped form it with a few others back in.. 2017? What exactly is a Barcoloco? Haha, good question! The name comes from one of our founders, Cappodocians, who once owned a bar named Barcoloco. We didn't have a kd name for a while, so we just used that and it kind of stuck after a while. That is actually rather cool. Its hard to come up with good names anymore. How long have you been playing Utopia? Too long. I first got a taste in Grade 8 Socials Studies class, so either late '99 or early '00. I don't recall exactly. Those early years are a bit of blur. You were young. Were you hooked right away? Not right away, no. I played solo for a little while and didn't care too much. I was more into Earth 2020 I think in the first years or so. I would just make big exploring/dicing provs, but eventually I kept getting farmed so I decided to try some more offensive strats and that's when I started talking in the forums more and then getting over to ICQ and then really getting hooked once i found out about warring I was definitely hooked by my final year in high school, because I remember staying after school to use the computers to hit during war. So basically you have been playing since the start of Utopia. Are there any other games you play? You mentioned Earth 2020. What else piques your interest? These days I mostly just screw around with friends on a bunch of games. League, Tarkov, CSGO. I played AoE II since about the same time as utopia, so that's probably another one I was pretty involved in and still play quite a bit of. I just finished the new FF7. That was alright I suppose. I guess I buy lots of random games and play them. I invest more time into utopia than all the other games combined though. So she's number one in my heart. I think the game doesn't allow you to casual play if you are monarch and serious about winning. Plus the community makes it fun. Do you have a significant other or friends you have tried to get to play Utopia? Haha, significant others and utopia haven't always worked together for me in the past. I always look forward to that first conversation about the depths of my utopia depravity when dating someone new. As for friends, one of my closer friends to this day was in that same Grade 8 class, and he played pretty heavily in the early days and then kinda came back off and on as I really needed players throughout the years. He's currently on again. There have been a few others that played early on i've tried to bring back, but no luck. A few years ago we created an IRL only ****** kingdom, and we won a few times with that. That was a nice experience. Would you like to give a shout out to any past kds you have played for in Utopia? Ohhh. Lets see. andn00bs, Zenobias Zealots, FAITH/IC, Reunion, Pandas, and Barcoloco. I played in lots of others, but I think these are the ones I spent the most time in. I hope I'm not forgetting any! Oh you played in ZZ? I didn't realize that. Talk about a blast from the past. Who do you think you learned the most about this game from or do you feel self taught? I did. I played with the legends Delm and filip and co. But then I also kinda rebooted it long after they had left. I've definitely had mentors over the years. To name a few people I really respected and learned a lot from.. Doccy, Delm, CGG, and hesus. I would often encounter some sick players though who I would always try to pick up tricks from: Twit, martin, kneten, Trekdrop, jordy probably a million others. There's a certain bit of self taught too, just being around so long and having done everything so many times i think leaves its impression. It also speaks volumes if being around for a long time, you actually care to learn more instead of going through the motions. Let's talk about your current kd, Barco. How would you describe your kd and kdmates? Well, love for everyone there. There's a solid 15 of us who have been together now over 3 years so you really get to know people after that long. Especially with the amount of time we spend together on here. It's kind of like a family. We've had our ups and downs, both in game and as a team. We had a player pass away not too long ago, Sonny, who was a big part of our team. That was a bit rough. Then you have your successful ages and your not so successful ages. I look back to all the kingdoms I've played in over the years and I can't really take away the same love from any of them as I do for Barco. It's just a different experience than the rest. Probably because I am older and super emo now. Shout out to Eleu, my uto queen. As for Barco itself, I mean, the only quad crown in uto history!! COME ON. We just love to war and have a good time, and typically we try not to stress too much. But sometimes this game can be frustrating!! Congrats on that! Is that your kd goal every age? Well, yes and no. We certainly don't play to whore and go for land every age. We are a warring first kingdom and if we do well at that early, we typically will push for the quad or triple or something. Today's kingdom landscape is pretty lacking, so the days of whoring and warring coexisting are kind of over. We definitely like to set the bar pretty high and see what we can do. It's hard to turn off the competitive drive. We also take into account irl things. I recently took a new job so it's been harder to play the way we want, and yeah, sometimes things fall during an age and you kind of adjust accordingly. It's nice to relax a bit, but like I said, it's hard to turn that competitiveness off completely! Its ingrained. I have tried casual ages, it doesn't work for me. To what do you attribute the successes of your kd to? That's a good question. I'm not really sure. I think we've been pretty innovative over the ages which has definitely led to some success. I think a big part of it too is the group of people we have. Most of us have all played together for so long we all just kind of know the routine. Organization and micro are a result of that which can be all the difference needed between two kingdoms. Truthfully, we don't have a lot of veteran players. We have a healthy mix of new and old and I think that keeps things fresh for everyone and there's always something to play for. Is there a particular race combo that you love and find yourself always wanting to play? I'm a smash and grab guy myself. I love the heavy hitters. Avian has always been a favourite. When I was solo, I think I played dwarf every age, so there's always been a soft spot for that. I've done the whole TM thing many times, but I always miss farming acres. Do you have any suggestions to potential new players or existing players that might find themselves lost? Get out while you still can! I think the utodiscord community is always willing to help if you are looking for it. That is mean! Alot of us 'quit' and look, we are back at it. Haha yep, uto is a cruel mistress. If you could go back in time and give the 'newb' you one piece of advice, what would it be? Other then to run? 40% TG is not a viable strat and releasing wizards DOES NOT help overpop. I am trying hard not to laugh right now. HAHA Describe any funny or peculiar incidents that made you either laugh hysterically or had you wanting to throw your computer or phone out the window. Oh jeez, there are many. When I went to sleep thinking the age was over and settling for a triple crown but waking up to see the kingdom who was #1 WW at the time declared war on someone and dropped enough points to give us the WW crown also. That was funny. A certain kingdoms war spoils wave on us then farming them. That was funny. Back in Identity Crisis when noh0 scripted a province into Glitter(?) so we could farm them again then all getting deleted. That was funny. I pretty much want to throw my computer out the window every war start between oops and unnecessary bounces. Oh the time I cast blizzard on someone and bounced him. That was funny too. There are plenty of kingdom discussions that have me laughing hysterically which make this game so much fun. I think that is why I play this game and the people I play with. Anytime you can laugh at a screen and people around you wonder WTF, always makes me chuckle. Do you want to talk about this last war against Hipmunks and what pushed you guys in the rankings? In the early days I played this game for the game itself and trying to outplay people. Now I play the game more so for the people. Everyone in utopia nowadays have something in common in that we all share a love for this game. Whether we get along or not, we're all pretty similar in that sense. I love that about this game. There's usually a certain respect for one another, even through all the flaming. Yeah, Hipmunks were the obvious choice for our next war. They had been sitting OOW for a little bit, but they were interested. We had already been planning to make a push, so getting that war was essential. We ended up playing quite well and having some good gains both land wise and honour wise. Hipmunks has been doing super well the past few ages, many people were shocked the war wasn't a little tighter. What do you think was the advantage your kd had over Hipmunks? Well, truthfully I thought it would be closer myself. I guess a few things come mind. We were just coming OOW so BE was nice and all that. They also suffered from some classic utopia bug at war start which left them without war ops right at the start and a normal relations dragon on us. I guess the rest of it came down to our strat of high def and not allowing them too much room to maneuver at the start. Then our avian attack time and better chaining range took over. If you could sit down and have a drink with DavidC, what would you be drinking and what suggestions would you like to mention? I think DavidC hates me because I msg him all the time about things i am frustrated about. I'd probably want to keep it light, maybe a Guinness, or a nice craft sour. If we start to get into it, i'd like maybe some gin cocktails or a negroni or something. I'd ask him to be more proactive with age changes and communication with the community. I have lots of concerns about this game, but simple communication is easy and it shouldn't be a problem we face continuously age in and out. Anything you would like to add or any shout outs to any players? I guess I'd just like to say thank you to everyone for making this game so enjoyable over the years even if it's lost me jobs, sleep, girlfriends, time, money, sobriety, etc. Shoutout to everyone in Barco and everyone else i've played with over the years. Cheers to many more ages of frustration and lack of sleep (at least, some part of me hopes this game continues in some form, i can't imagine life without it!) Oh, i'd also ask DavidC to make another war tournament server. I've asked this a bunch of times already though! Bonus question, and I hope you haven't cheated on this seeings I ask it in every interview and so far no one has gotten it correct. What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow? 56 mph? Good guess but Wrong! -=tosses him off the bridge=- Thanks Maugrim for taking time out to talk to me. I wish you and Barco lots of luck in the future. Thank you! This was fun!

[p-aralian]

Men Without Women by Haruki Murakami

Men Without Women is a collection of short stories so I feel like I should review this both by their individual stories and as a whole.

(1) Drive My Car

Okay so let me first just tell you that I read these short stories while I was actually in Japan. Prior to my trip, I didn’t exactly have much knowledge on Japan’s affairs, except pretty much for the Meiji Restoration, which I studied in IB History. But I digress; basically what I’m trying to say is that I had no idea just how bad the gender inequality is in Japan. Like literally, women are still seen as the traditional caregiver, not really meant to be in the workforce but rather fulfil the role of a respectful wife and mother. So I guess I shouldn’t really have been surprised at the sexism in this novel, but it was really eye-opening because I guess Murakami’s expression of people’s lives in the book must be an accurate reflection or depiction of how Japanese people actually live.

The story literally starts with the blatant stereotype that women are bad drivers. Apparently we just don’t know how or aren’t built to operate such heavy machinery? Jesus. Sorry, but it’s actually ridiculous how some men think or rather are brought up to think. Must be the whole Confucianism thing. Also, the woman driver he hired was like what, my age, and he was SEXUALISING her. Okay he was kinda doing the opposite of that, ie, saying that she had no breasts and looked like a man but STILL – why do those things even matter!!! Why are you, a like 50+ year old man, evaluating the looks of a girl, WHO COULD BE YOUR DAUGHTER’S AGE. Please. Just. Stop.

Anyways, that aside. I also didn’t really like the story because it was very strange – the guy knew his wife was having an affair and didn’t call her out on it? And befriended his wife’s lover after she died? Dude, you cray. Who does that? Also, story 1 – man without woman because woman died. But woman was a cheating bitch. So again, not the best impression of women.

- In every situation, knowledge was better than ignorance. However agonizing, it was necessary to confront the facts. Only through knowing could a person become strong. - The proposition that we can look into another person’s heart with perfect clarity strikes me as a fool’s game. I don’t care how well we think we should understand them, or how much we love them. All it can do is cause us pain. Examining your own heart, however, is another matter. I think it’s possible to see what’s in there if you work hard enough at it. So in the end maybe that’s the challenge: to look inside your own heart as perceptively and seriously as you can, and to make peace with what you find there. If we hope to truly see another person, we have to start by looking within ourselves.

(2) Yesterday

I liked this one. I don’t really get how this falls into place with regard to the underlying thread that is supposed to bind all the stories together – “men without women”. Honestly, I don’t want to go too deep into this story. Essentially it’s about two people that the narrator knew who could have been together, probably wanted to or were meant to, but didn’t. (Note: there’s a touch of a woman’s unfaithfulness in this one too). Anyways, I feel like it’d be better if I just shared my favourite quotes from it:

- I wonder if life should really be that easy, that comfortable. It might be better to go our separate ways for a while, and if we find out that we really can’t get along without each other, then we get back together. - Maybe going through that kind of tough, lonely experience is necessary when you’re young? Part of the process of growing up? … The way surviving hard winters makes a tree grow stronger, the growth rings inside it tighter. - I truly love Aki-kun, and I don’t think I could ever feel the same way about anybody else. Whenever I’m away from him I get this terrible ache in my chest, always in the same spot. It’s true. There’s a place in my heart reserved just for him. But at the same time I have this strong urge inside me to try something else, to come into contact with all kinds of people. Call it curiosity, a thirst to know more. More possibilities. It’s a natural emotion and I can’t suppress it, no matter how much I try. - Music has that power to revive memories, sometimes so intensely that they hurt.

(3) An Independent Organ

This one was my favourite. It really got to me. Like really got to me. Like I was crying for quite a while after I was done with it. The narrator was again talking about someone else’s life, a plastic surgeon and bachelor who had never been in a long-term relationship with a woman but rather preferred to have good conversations, good sex and no commitment. (Fair enough, I get that). So most of his women tend to be married because apparently a lot of women want the committed part of a relationship with their husbands but ALSO the company of another man who can remind them what it’s like to date and flirt and whatever, I don’t know. Anyways, this doctor falls in love, with a married woman. Surprise surprise. But no. He then has an existential crisis and then dies. He dies because he is lovesick and heartbroken and he dies at his own hands, condemning himself to a slow death by anorexia. He becomes but a shadow of his former self and just dies. Because of the bitch, who not only abandons her husband but also the doctor for, get this, a THIRD lover. Ok so, unfaithfulness again. But that’s not the point.

I feel it was a little melodramatic and unrealistic that he just gave up on life after this woman broke his heart (or maybe it isn’t, maybe because he was so set in his ways of non-commitment that falling in love with a woman and then being betrayed by her could be so heart-breaking that he wanted to reduce himself to nothing? I still think it’s a bit much but it’s not my place to comment on these things after all.) Nonetheless, it broke my heart. I can’t even begin to imagine what betrayal feels like – like he said, if she had told him that she couldn’t be with him because she wanted to keep her family together, he would have been fine, but it was solely the very act of betrayal that drove him to non-existence. Fuck.

My favourite quotes are as follows:

- I’ve been out with lots of women who are much prettier than her, better built, with better taste, and more intelligent. But those comparisons are meaningless. Because to me she is someone special. A ‘complete presence,’ I guess you could call it. All of her qualities are tightly bound into one core. You cant separate each individual quality to measure and analyse it, to say it’s better or worse than the same quality in someone else. It’s what’s in her core that attracts me so strongly. Like a powerful magnet. It’s beyond logic. - ‘Having seen my love now / and said farewell / I know how very shallow my heart was of old / as if I had never before known love – Gonchunagon Atsutada ... I’ve finally experienced what the poet felt. The deep sense of loss after you’ve met the woman you love, have made love, then said goodbye. Like you’re suffocating. The same emotion hasn't changed at all in a thousand years. I’ve never had this feeling up till now, and it makes me realise how incomplete I’ve been, as a person. - The more I get to know her, the more I love her. We’ve gone out for a year and a half, but right now I’m even more entranced than I was at the beginning. It feels like our hearts have become intertwined. Like when she feels something, my heart moves in tandem. Like we’re two boats tied together with rope. Even if you want to cut the rope, there’s no knife sharp enough to do it. - As long as it makes sense, no matter how deep you fall, you should be able to pull yourself together again. - Women are all born with a special independent organ that allows them to lie. It depends on the person, about the kind of lies they tell, what situation they tell them in, and how the lies are told. But at a certain point in their lives, all women tell lies, and they lie about important things. They lie about unimportant things, too, but they also don’t hesitate to lie about the most important things. And when they do, most women’s expressions and voices don’t change at all, since it’s not them lying, but this independent organ they’re equipped with that’s acting on its own. That’s why – except in a few special cases – they can still have a clear conscience and never lose sleep over anything they say. - Just as that woman likely lied to him with her independent organ, Dr. Tokai – in a somewhat different sense – used this independent organ to fall in love. A function beyond his will. With hindsight it’s easy for someone else to sadly shake his head and smugly criticize another’s actions. But without the intervention of that kind of organ – the kind that elevates us to new heights, thrusts us down to the depths, throws our minds into chaos, reveals beautiful illusions, and sometimes even drives us to death – our lives would indeed be indifferent and brusque. Or simply end up as a series of contrivances.

The paragraph on women born with the ability to lie really got to me. 

(4) Scheherazade

Lol. I had a friend called Scheherazade so this was very difficult to read without imagining her. Also because it’s a pseudonym for a Japanese woman, but I just wasn’t able to picture it that way?!!! Okay. I’m going to call her Schez for short. Schez is weird. She talks about her past, in which she describes having a crush on a guy in high school and sneaking out of school to break into his house and smell his things and god knows what else – not cool at all, in fact really creepy. Another thing is, she’s a caretaker who has sex with the dude. Is that a thing? I wish they’d say a little bit more about who the narrator was and why he needed such caretaking to begin with? It all just felt really misplaced. Also don’t get how this fits the whole men without women theme again. Oh and also, Schez was married and I really don’t think the sex can just be dismissed or classified as simply being part of her job – that’s total unfaithfulness as well. Please.

- Life is strange, isn’t it? You can be totally entranced by the glow of something one minute, be willing to sacrifice everything to make it yours, but then a little time passes, or your perspective changes a bit, and all of a sudden you’re shocked at how faded it appears. What was I looking at? you wonder.

(5) Kino

I like this one. Since I’ve been consistent in highlighting this fact, let me just start by saying – there’s unfaithfulness by a woman in this, AGAIN. But other than that, it was really mysterious which was a welcome change. Were the supernatural occurrences real or were they just manifestations of the narrator’s subconscious, forcing him to come to terms with how he truly felt about his wife’s infidelity? This felt like proper Murakami. The snakes, the vanishing cat, the rain, the knocking, I loved it.

(6) Samsa in Love

I have Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis somewhere. I think it’s in London in my brother’s house. I wish I’d read it before this. Maybe then I would’ve had a little more context for this story. But alas it’s not hard to figure. Metamorphosis. That’s pretty self-explanatory. Reviewers online say it’s an interesting take on Gregor Samsa. I don’t know, I don’t really have too much to say about it really. Also, don’t really see how it fits in with the theme again. You know what, that’s it. I got nothing.

(7) Men Without Women

“Men Without Women”. Repeated way too many times in one story. Okay so the narrator receives a phone call from his ex-lover’s husband to be told that she is dead. He thinks about her and their time together and also of how he imagines meeting her earlier in high school and stuff like that. I dunno. I just liked how she played a certain song when they had sex. In fact, you know what I love all of Murakami’s allusions to music and the power it has on people, on memories, on emotions. If I can relate to anything, hell it’s that.  

So I read in an interview with Murakami that he doesn’t analyse the images or thoughts derived from his subconscious which form the content of his stories, instead he merely records them. Honestly, I don’t want to over-analyse it either. These stories took me on a journey, gave me a peek into different worlds, some of which I could relate to more than others. I am glad to have read them and that’s that!