#smokepitfairytales

[usmccarter]

😂😂😂😂 #Repost @smokepitfairytales • • • • • • Everybody’s talking, but nobody’s walking, get on with this rap battle before I have to pull out the overalls. @themarinerapper @acombatveteran (P.S. both all are awesome.) #disstrack #folkpunk #mandolin #bouzouki #america #rapbattle #speaksoftlylove #godfather https://www.instagram.com/p/B2HnpDbg0s2/?igshid=10ib4bo1eukka

[author-mathomas]

Some loops for loop Friday :) if you're not already following these amazing gals and guys on Instagram I encourage you to say hi and reach out #writingcommunity #loopfriday #authorsofinstagram #mathomaswriter #authorschallenge2019 #promptchallenge #maywritingprompts #author #flippingcute @morgan_true_blum_author_artist @zarinamacha @mjvaughn1 @debratorreswrites @marissajadesky @smokepitfairytales @djkinseybooks @authornadavenport @creativindie https://www.instagram.com/p/ByHTZqgFHCS/?igshid=19gqnvgafwpv7

[smokepit-fairytales]

I’m burning straight through this midnight oil on these illustrations. I REALLY want to show them to you, but, as you’d know if you finished my sixth book, each image is RIFE with spoilers. Things are coming soon. Have a good week! #sundaynightselfie #burningthemidnightoil #illustrator #smokepitfairytales #itbelikethatsometimes https://www.instagram.com/p/CSD4MMdL5eb/?utm_medium=tumblr

[smokepit-fairytales]

Napoleon crowned himself emperor, but he swore his oath, not on the Holy Bible, but with a copy of Smokepit Fairytales. Don’t believe me? Well here’s the proof! And don’t try to tell me it’s photoshopped, because photoshop didn’t exist back then. Anyway, France wasn’t always terrible, they did a few things right… a couple hundred years ago. Though Bonepart over here was a spaghetti eater. #smokepitfairytales #scifi #scifibooks ##napoleon #throwback #selfie #stolenvalor #reading #emperor #france #frenchempire #italianmemes https://www.instagram.com/p/CRyks5HL9aW/?utm_medium=tumblr

[smokepit-fairytales]

And with that, let’s start writing the seventh installment of the Smokepit Fairytales series! Working title, “Women, Barbarians, and Slaves.” It’s been a hot minute, and I’m looking forward to getting my ass back in gear. I write all these out on legal pads before transferring them to a word doc. How do you write? #selfie #authorselfie #amwriting #writerslife #penandink #wordporn #longhairdocare #beardmodel #bethoven #sexymotherfucker #smokepitfairytales https://www.instagram.com/p/B6REh9IA9nN/?igshid=19xgh3tys7ns3

[smokepit-fairytales]

Hint hint, something’s coming soon. #books #bookish #igreads #epicreads #militarybooks #militaryscifi #scifinovels #guitar #artist #fender #teletuesday #spacegator #smokepitfairytales #music https://www.instagram.com/p/B552KEIgkD2/?igshid=91f9if2zdtyh

[smokepit-fairytales]

Two new books in the last month! They’ll blow your mind! Look for “Women, Barbarians, and Slaves,” and “Locate, Close With, Destroy.” Both are out now! #smokepitfairytales #orb #ponder #ponderingmyorb #scifi #scifibooks #fantasy #fantasybooks #fantasywriter #scifiwriter #pangenre https://www.instagram.com/p/CW9X_ELrXJb/?utm_medium=tumblr

[smokepit-fairytales]

Hey, Sailor, whoever you are, thanks for this review of “Women, Barbarians, and Slaves.” From the bottom of my heart, I appreciate it. For everyone else, go check out my books, and please do leave them reviews on amazon, they help me out a lot. Thanks! #bookreview #bookrecommendations #smokepitfairytales #scifibooks #aliens #fantasybooks #westerns #westernbooks #cowboys #women #barbarians #epicreads https://www.instagram.com/p/CWTdzNYLtp1/?utm_medium=tumblr

[smokepit-fairytales]

I really loved “The Last of Us,” especially because I thought they ripped off my fungus zombie idea from “Chainsmoke Your Problems Away.” Then I found out the game had been out for a few years before I wrote the book. Oh well, I guess it happens. Has anything like that happened to you where you think you have a somewhat original idea then it turns out someone else did almost the exact same thing? I guess my saving Grace is that my zombies were in space. #smokepitfairytales #zombies #horror #thelastofus #undead #fungus #cosmichorror #terror #marines #spacemarines #inktober #spookyseason #scared https://www.instagram.com/p/CVRZxJyMW9H/?utm_medium=tumblr

[smokepit-fairytales]

You want an honest detailing of the life of the enlisted Marine that’s not full of fluff, BS, and politically correct tripe that your chain of command would approve of? Go read Smokepit Fairytales. #marines #military #army #navy #airforce #politicallyincorrect #scifi #scifibooks #militaryscifi #militaryscifibooks #njp #article15 #smokepitfairytales #requestmast #captainsmast https://www.instagram.com/p/CT5u0NiMjrm/?utm_medium=tumblr

[smokepit-fairytales]

Back in the 80s, when I was working for the CIA (Christians in Action), I took a bunch of nerve gas and ballistic missiles to Iraq on behalf of President Reagan. After we gave Saddam the WMDs I hung around for a bit to do some research for my book Smokepit Fairytales in what used to be Babylon. While I was taking notes I let Saddam read them over because he was a fan on epic literature. As a matter of fact while I was there, I ghost wrote Zabibah and the King for him. It was a romance novel, and kind of hokey, but he paid me in gold so whatever. When he finished reading Smokepit Fairytales, Saddam came running down to Babylon where I had just unearthed a star gate, and he told me that he wanted to put his name on it and be known as the worlds greatest author. I told him no, but he wasn’t having it. He threatened to send me to the gulag if I didn’t budge, so I hopped in the stargate and popped out in Wyoming and found my old buddy Dick Cheney who I told Saddam was trying to steal my book. Dick was concerned but didn’t think he could do anything. I reminded him that I’d given Saddam Reagan’s Sarin gas and that there were totally WMDs in Iraq. So I rigged the 2000 election to get Bush in office and we went to Iraq to save my book. True story. #smokepitfairytales #books #history #historybooks #historymemes #saddamhussein #iraq #georgebush #dickcheney #babylon #cia #stolenvalor #selfie #lol #iraqwar #iraqmemes (at Baghdad, Iraq) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSdDjU1r8tp/?utm_medium=tumblr

[smokepit-fairytales]

The illustration process for my books is varied. I made some before o even started writing to help flesh out the scenes on my head, but most do some after writing is complete. I also don’t do anything too special with them, because I still want you to use your imagination to fill in the blanks for the rest of what’s happening in any given chapter. The illustrations for the Smokepit Fairytales books are all just nice ballpoint pens and moleskin sketch paper. Literally all of them. There is a little post work in photoshop, but that’s just to make black black. Anyway, I got through the first full sketchbook for my next trilogy, and I thought y’all might like a little bit of a sneak peek. Don’t worry, there’s no real spoiler here. Anyway, keep an eye out, because things are coming soon. In the meantime, go check out my other books, and there’s a lot of art to look at on the site. Have a good weekend! #sneakpeak #illustration #illustrator #bookillustration #artist #writer #smokepitfairytales https://www.instagram.com/p/CSPf_-4LCOc/?utm_medium=tumblr

[smokepit-fairytales]

Back in ‘68 I REALLY wanted a brand new Pontiac GTO, but all my money was from the 80s, so to gather some extra cash I did a quick tour in ‘Nam. I was tagging around with the 25th ID, and took this young buck named Bobby Barnes under my wing. He really looked up to me and I taught him about time hopping and what BEING reality meant. He got along good but he was really blown away when he realized I wrote Smokepit Fairytales, his dad used to read it to him when he was a kid, and Bobby credits it to being the man he’d become. Anyway one night we were out looking for some pho and tiger beer, but outside the village, I shit you not, an ACTUAL tiger jumped out at us! We were a bit freaked because we’d traded all our ammo for cash to throw at this mamasan named Charlie up in Da Nang, (don’t google bird shows). Bobby tried to take on the tiger, but the tiger wasn’t having it. It was about to swipe down on Bobby, but Bobby got his dagger out, and then out of FUCKING NOWHERE, Joe fucking Exotic comes screaming naked out from the trees, slaps Bobby with his dong (giving him that scar), mounts the tiger and rides off into the jungle. That was a hell of a year. #throwback #veteran #vietnam #vietnamveteran #marines #army #25thinfantrydivision #platoon #sgtbarnes #iamreality #realitycheck #smokepitfairytales #selfie #tigers #jungle #tigerking #joeexotic #pontiacgto #doitforthedollar (at Da Nang, Vietnam) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRz_6B_rxGN/?utm_medium=tumblr

[smokepit-fairytales]

So a bit in the future… well, YOUR past, I was hanging around The Holy Empire, drinking too much, and wearing stupid clothes and these French dudes in Italy wanted to give us some shit, so we beat their ass. Now, that wasn’t an issue, but the Empire decided they didn’t want to pay us for it, SO we marched down the peninsula looking for gold, strange, golden strange and Lasagna, but they were out of Lasagna! We took that personally and beat those spaghetti eaters back to the Stone Age! The Holy Empire threw a fit because they wanted to change their name to the Holy ROMAN Empire, and to do that, Rome had to be in it. Charles V came down to negotiate, and I said I’d give them Rome back if they got that Gutenberg guy to start printing Smokepit Fairytales up in the Rhineland. He agreed, and I took my garlic bread and fucked off. #garlicbread #italian #italianfood #rome #holyromanempire #papalstates #vatican #stolenvalor #truestory #smokepitfairytales (at Rome, Italy) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRxaGPTrohx/?utm_medium=tumblr

[smokepit-fairytales]

What secrets are hidden in the Vatican? Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not the mysteries behind everlasting life, what parts of the Bible were actually aliens, nor the actual body of Christ. What the Catholic Church doesn’t want you to know is that when Moses climbed Mount Sinai, God have him Smokepit Fairytales to share with mankind. Inside the hidden vaults of the holy city, you’ll only find a Torah, like seven copies of the King James Bible, Chariots of the Gods by Erik Von Daniken, the REAL Declaration of Independence, two copies of the apocrypha, Heinlein’s first draft of Starship Troopers, and then the entirety of the rest of those libraries are literally just Smokepit Fairytales. So what are you waiting for? Go read my books before Jesus returns and kills us all. #smokepitfairytales #reading #books #bible #moses #vatican #theholycity #jesus #exodus #tencommandments #torah #bible #scripture #requiredreading #epicreads #badassbooks #scifi #scifibooks #chariotsofthegods #starshiptroopers #heinlein (at Mount Sinai) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRxS_YnL0Fj/?utm_medium=tumblr

[smokepit-fairytales]

What was your favorite part? #reading #favorite #scifi #scifibooks #marines #smokepitfairytales https://www.instagram.com/p/CRpv8WRL7AZ/?utm_medium=tumblr