#so I assume that they’ll all have some pretty significant plot turn involved

[biwarlockofglitter]

What if Nandor uses one of his two remaining djinn wishes to do something about Guillermo becoming a vampire?

[hardnoctlife]

My Thoughts on FFVIIR

It’s been a few days since I finished FFVIIR, and I wanted to put my thoughts on the game into words, but I gotta get a few housekeeping things out of the way.

1.       These are all MY opinions. I understand and respect that others may have different opinions from me, however, that does not make this an open invitation for argument in the comments, bashing, etc. I have no problem blocking anyone who wants to be an asshole. Just be nice, please.

2.       I grew up playing FFVII and all of its spin-offs. FFVII was my first RPG, and ultimately what got me into playing video games. Nostalgia is a -huge- part of why I enjoyed FFVIIR so much, and therefore I am openly biased towards the game. I’m interested to hear the thoughts of people not familiar with the original, because they’re seeing the story with a fresh set of eyes.

3.       With that being said, I’ve already noticed drama surrounding FFVIIR fans who -have- played the original vs. those who haven’t, or those who haven’t played Crisis Core, etc. I am firmly of the belief that this is a great game for new and old fans and won’t tolerate any condescending attitudes in either direction. Video games are supposed to be fun, so let’s just all agree to enjoy the thing TOGETHER, shall we?

Alright, now that those things are out of the way, onto my thoughts. **MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD**

I’m going to be breaking this up into sections, because there is just too much to dissect! Let’s start with the characters.

“The Good Guys”

Cloud: Still my favorite character of all time, even more so after playing the remake. And of course, he is gorgeous. I could stare into his eyes all day. I know there has been a lot of controversy over getting new voice actors for the remake, but I feel like his VA did a great job. They nailed his personality of “broody asshole with a heart of gold”, and I think the remake had reasonable and believable character development when it came to Cloud’s interactions with the other party members. His dynamic with Tifa, Aerith, and Barrett was also spot on. I think it was a good move on Squeenix’s part to keep him pretty much the same, because he’s such an iconic character for the entire Final Fantasy series, so no complaints on my part!

Jessie: Okay, so, I hated Jessie at first. She was too flirty and all over Cloud for my liking, and I felt this strange disconnect between the “I used to be an actress but now I’m fighting for the planet” part of her backstory. Yes, she was still spunky in the original, but they didn’t draw it out nearly as much (I assume because she was killed off early). I -do- appreciate that the developer’s felt the need to give her more depth and show more interactions between her and Cloud and everyone else, but I also thought it detracted from Cloud’s relationships with Tifa and Aerith to an extent, especially the whole scene where she was asking him to come back to her place with him (yikes). And, true to Squeenix form, they killed off her character, even while letting Biggs and Wedge live (they both died in the original). So, in that sense, I didn’t really care that much for her, although her final scene with Cloud was very moving and redeemed her in some ways for me. So, yay for more screen time, but c’mon Squeenix, why do you gotta use your female characters this way?!

Biggs & Wedge: I loved the updates to their character models, and like with Jessie, I appreciate they tried to give them more depth and dialogue to make their involvement more significant. It did throw me for a loop when they both ended up living instead of dying when the Sector 7 plate fell. I was delighted to discover they survived (until I found out Jessie died and they didn’t). At times, I felt like their exalted importance detracted from other characters, especially at the end in Shinra HQ where Wedge shows up to warn everyone and Avalanche comes in to try and rescue Cloud & the gang, only to imply that he dies -there- instead. To me, it felt like an unnecessary moment to add in, but hey, there are only so many characters in the remake that people get to see, so why not give the Avalanche crew a more important role? I’m interested to see if this means that they’ll be returning in the next installments as they may be ‘fated’ to survive.

Barrett: What a glow up! Barrett looked good, he sounded good, his character was solid and true to the original. I have to say my favorite thing to see was how the banter and dialogue shifted between him and Cloud as you progressed through the remake. They went from basically hating on each other to complimenting each other and being buddy-buddy, and it was truly heartwarming. I even enjoyed using Barrett in battle (more on the fighting system later), which was refreshing. It was a good move on Squeenix’s part to show his softer side by including more scenes with Marlene, and he’s an excellent foil to Cloud’s character, which I feel was consistent for both games.

Tifa: My lady, the love of my life, my HERO. Tifa was -amazing- for me. Also, her VA was probably my favorite of the bunch. The updates to her outfit were much needed, yet she still retained her sexy allure, even if it was a little awkward to hear all the male NPC’s talking about how hot she was all the time. Other than Cloud, she was my favorite party member to use in battle—what a total badass!—and the scenes with her and Cloud made me squeal with delight. I was grateful for the extra attention put into their relationship, and how it was made clear that she was just as important and strong as the male characters.

Aerith: First, the positives. They expanded Aerith’s fighting range, which was appreciated, because in the original I only used her as healer. Her personality shone through a bit more, as she was even ore outgoing than I remembered her being (and even cursed a few times!), and I loved all of her interactions with Tifa and Cloud (my favorite trio/love triangle). Her backstory was pretty well communicated regarding the Ancients and her relationship with Shinra. On the flip side of things, I found her party banter annoying as hell and her voice grating at times (it reminded me of a high school girl), and I’m not sure how I feel about her interactions with the Whispers and what that implies for future installments. There was some hinting at the end of the remake that Aerith may not die like she did in the original (at least that was my interpretation), and I’m not sure whether I like that possibility or not, mainly because Aerith’s death is one of the most memorable scenes of FFVII, and that would change the entire plot. For better or for worse, who’s to say?

Red XIII: I loved all of the scenes with Red! His voice fit him really well, and they showed a lot of character development with him and the group in a short amount of time. I was sad you couldn’t control him in your party, but I’m hoping that will change in the next installment. I’m excited to see his backstory in Cosmo Canyon when we finally get to that point in the remake.

Chadley: This kid was annoying and weird, and I wasn’t sure exactly what his deal was, but he was definitely shady AF. Not sure why he was entirely necessary if he was simply a way to upgrade your materia, but hey, I’ll take that assess materia from ya buddy if it means new stuff for me to use. 

Johnny: Johnny grew on me. Was he also annoying and weird too? Yes. But he reminded me of a Prompto-Gladio lovechild and turned out to be a sweetheart, so I say he can stay, Squeenix.

“The Bad Guys”

Shinra executives: Not much to say here for me other than great job in bringing this diabolic group to life. Yep, still hate every one of ‘em. They stayed pretty much true to their original selves, and all of them matched what I remembered of them, right down to the dialogue. I thought it was an interesting choice to see Sephiroth kill President Shinra (in the original you just find him dead at his desk, impaled on Sephiroth’s sword), but I’m not complaining. That guy was a grade A asshole.

The Turks: Love, love, love how they portrayed each of these guys, and showed how they are also unwilling participants in all of Shinra’s shit. They definitely made them more likeable from the get-go and I felt a lot of callbacks to Advent Children. Reno cursing and being sassy was probably one of my favorite things out of the entire game. He had -so- many great lines, even if they weren’t direct translations of the Japanese. I’m hoping they will include more of the Turks in future installments (like Cissnei in Crisis Core) and continue fleshing out their story arcs.

Rosche: Okay, unpopular opinion, but I did not like this guy at all. I’m not sure what the hype is about him all over my social media. Could be the mullet, which is an automatic ‘no’ for me (Gladio from FFXV being the only exception), but he seemed like an irritating and very pointless addition to the game. His sole purpose appeared to be to prepare you for escaping Shinra and fighting from Cloud’s motorcycle towards the end, but I felt like he could have been taken out of the story entirely without missing anything. I didn’t hate as many of the newer characters (like Leslie) as much as I did him, but I guess he and I just didn’t vibe. I’m assuming he’ll return later on, so maybe my opinion will change. (I sure hope so.)

Leslie: Okay, at first, I was like, “who is this knock-off Noctis wannabe?” but I really enjoyed the backstory and depth they gave this seemingly minor character. I see that Squeenix is trying to provide new things for older fans to take interest in, and in this case, I felt he was a nice touch. (Edit: I was told that Leslie, Kyrie, and some of the other new NPCs were featured in an audio book?! Which I had no idea even existed, so...the more you know!)

Don Corneo: Even slimier and creepier in HD! Honestly, hats off to Squeenix for translating what was possibly the most cringy and controversial part of the original in a ‘tasteful’ way in regard to all of Wall Market. This guy was definitely a worthy villain in the remake.

Rufus: Holy hell. I never ever in my life thought I’d be saying this, but wow, is Rufus hotter than I remember. Thank you, Squeenix for giving me another foxy bad boy to drool over. He was also, for me, the hardest and most frustrating boss battle (even more so than Sephiroth), but it was totally worth dying to watch all the cut scenes with him over again. Can’t wait to see more of him in the next installment.

Hojo: God, I hate this guy. I know you’re -supposed- to, but he is such a creep. Hearing his dialogue in the remake was even worse than reading it in the original. Gotta say, dealing with his four wards in Shinra HQ was my least favorite part of the game by far, but I know he will get his comeuppance later down the road. All the dialogue was just as shocking as I remember, so, yeah. Good job?!

Sephiroth: Alright, anyone else feel like they made Sephiroth EXTRA SEXUAL in this remake?! You too? Oh, good, good, same bro. Now, it could just be me projecting, but anytime he came on the screen…panties were dropping y’all. Of course, I’m not one to complain about Sephiroth content. On the contrary, I lap it up like I just walked through the desert and found an oasis, BUT, I will say this…you barely see Sephiroth at all at this point in the original. As a reminder, the remake only covered the first 4-6 hours of the original game, and I get you can’t really do a remake without at least SHOWING Sephiroth for the people who have been waiting to see him in HD, but with that being said, he was VERY involved. I love Sephiroth, he’s a great villain, but they are definitely changing things with him, so I guess we will have to wait and see what happens.

My one criticism? His voice was my least favorite out of the main characters. Not saying the VA didn’t do a great job, but it didn’t sound deep enough to be as intimidating. I prefer the VA who voiced him in Advent Children, but I’m sure it will grow on me in time.

Gameplay

Battle system: When the remake’s demo was released, I remember a lot of people were complaining about how ‘difficult’ the new battle system was, but I absolutely love it. It’s just the perfect balance of turn-based and real-time, with plenty of options for customization. If you want more real time, you can set your short cuts, and if you want more turn-based, you also have that option. My only real complaint was that item use is also tied to the ATB bar, but overtime I figured out when to heal myself in a timely fashion (after dying more than a handful of times). Button mashers won’t enjoy this battle system because it requires a little more strategy, but I think the point was to create an updated version of the original fighting style that would appeal to both old and new players, and it definitely delivered. Seeing the classic limit breaks used and being able to run around during battle was so much fun for me, and I about died when I saw Cloud strike his OG victory pose in Wall Market’s coliseum. Also, the transition between running through Midgar and entering battle was SO incredibly smooth and seamless that at times you didn’t notice the shift. Phenomenal.

o   Boss Battles: As much as I enjoyed the battle system of remake, some of the bosses felt unnecessarily hard and/or tedious (I’m looking at you, Hell House). Making use of the assess materia early on definitely helped me out, but I legit got bored at times, especially that damn giant robot you fight with only Barrett and Aerith when escaping Shinra HQ. This is really just a minor complaint, but there were a couple bosses where I died several times (*cough* Rufus *cough*) before I figured out the secret to defeating them, while others were super easy or just not that interesting. Meh. For context, I played on “normal” mode, but it truly felt hard in certain scenarios. (That could just have been me trying to get used to the new fighting style.)

o   Materia: speaking of materia, I did notice some new materia in the game, which was neat, and although I didn’t care for Chadley (dude, where are your parents?) it was nice to have a way to develop and earn new materia throughout. I found it somewhat strange that summon materia was just a thing you could get so early on instead of having to work for it, but I was excited to use it. Shiva and Ifrit were definitely my favorite summons (which hasn’t changed from the original for me). My one big question: where is the freaking ‘all’ materia?! I know they kinda split ‘all’ up into many different types of materia, and you do have ‘pray’ for healing your entire party, but man, that was so versatile in the original so that was a hard adjustment for me not to have use of it.

o   Weapons: I think it’s cool that they developed an upgrade system to make use of your weapons long term, giving them their own abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. Made me think of FFX where you used the spheres to upgrade your characters. Also? I loved being able to see materia in my weapons when I switched them out. That was a really neat touch. 

Music: And here I thought they couldn’t make the music of the original game any more epic, but they definitely outdid themselves in the remake. I enjoyed hearing all the remixes and ways they wove the classic themes into different parts of the games. I think my favorite was when you’re going through sector 5 with Aerith and have to control the giant robotic hands. The music in that section SLAPPED. The in-game jukebox was also a nice way to honor the old school classics. Hearing Aerith’s theme for the first time just about made me cry, and listening to One-Winged Angel fighting Sephiroth? Nothing could beat that moment musically for me.

Side quests: I’m not sure about anyone else, but I really didn’t care for the side quests. They weren’t very fun for the most part, and considering how linear the game is, they felt more like chores that needed to be completed because I had to, and not because I wanted to. The only exception was Wall Market, but all-in-all, most of them didn’t add much to the story, unlike in FFXV where I could go down a rabbit hole of sidequests for hours and hours.

Graphics: This is clearly stating the obvious, as anyone with eyes will tell you, the game is nothing short of gorgeous. I cannot tell you how many screencaps I took of just Cloud. It was definitely a world that I wanted to run around in for hours (and did) and will do so again and again just to look at all the little details. My favorite thing to do is watch comparison videos of the original and remake openings side-by-side. How crazy is it that technology has come this far!

Playtime: My biggest critique of this game is that it was too damn short. Stretching the first 4-6 hours of the original into 40 was definitely impressive, but considering I waited 20+ years for the remake, it was pretty disappointing to finish the game in less than a week. Like most people, I’m wondering just how long they plan on stretching this out, how many installments there will be, and when the second part will be released. Hopefully not another ten years, but it -is- Squeenix we’re talking about...

Storyline

Most people who played will tell you that most of the remake stayed very true to the original, even lifting some of the exact dialogue and scenes. The nostalgia hit me so hard in parts that I was literally in tears. The first time I watched the opening in the demo, I cried. That’s the power this game has over many people, including myself.

In other ways, the remake improved on parts of the story or re-imagined them. We always knew it wasn’t going to be a copy and paste of the original story, which I’m sincerely grateful for. I would seriously hope that after 20+ years they would have thought of ways to improve or polish FFVII and make it new and exciting for returning fans and people just picking it up.

My pros regarding the updates in the story:

- They fleshed out many background characters and added in new ones. Most of the core group spent more time interacting, and the party banter felt natural and progressed realistically as the game went on.

- New mini-games and side quests expanded on the slums and made the areas larger and more interactive, yet they still kept the nostalgia of iconic locales.

- Plenty of fuel to fan shipping fires with emotionally charged scenes and pretty boys abounding (Cloti and Clerith especially).

- All of Wall Market was brilliantly done. I was wondering how they’d update it for the new generation, and it was seriously the best part of the game for me (and had me laughing the entire time).

-  Hinting that Zack is alive and/or Aerith may live is something I’m listing as a pro, only because I would love to see these characters used to their full potential, however, this is also a con for me, and I’ll explain why.

My cons:

Whispers: If you played the original, you probably had the same reaction as I did when the ‘Whispers’ showed up. “Wtf are these dementor-looking things?” At first, I thought they might be something similar to what we saw in Advent Children, and that they were ‘remnants’ or parts of Sephiroth, or somehow his minions, or even souls from the Lifestream, etc. When I found out they were actually supposed to be ‘protectors of fate’ or whatever, I rolled my eyes, especially when Barret was ‘killed’ by Sephiroth and then miraculously brought back to life. It felt very ‘deus ex machina’ to me in the sense that ‘everything has to go a certain way because we said so.’ While it makes sense, I really wasn’t buying it, but I’m assuming that we will learn more about them in the second installment. 

The Ending: The whole final boss battle of the remake was surprising, because it felt almost exactly like the final boss bottle of the original game, right down to the cutscene where Cloud is thrown through space and faces off against Sephiroth one-on-one. Before you defeat the ‘harbinger of fate’ (anyone else get KH heartless vibes?) and fight Sephiroth as the final boss, Aerith goes on her long spiel about ‘fate’ and ‘destiny’ and ‘this will change us,’ and it’s laid on so thick that it’s almost like they were setting us up for an alternate timeline, which is entirely possible, but that’s all speculation at this point. Regardless, they made it clear that whatever is coming next is going to be -very- different from the original, or possibly is going to be another timeline of the story, especially since Zack was shown alive and well. One criticism I heard from someone who hadn’t played the original game was that they treated Sephiroth and Zack like people you were supposed to know, and I can agree with that. They didn’t spend -any- time explaining their significance, backstory, or why people were so afraid of Sephiroth other than showing you little flashbacks into Cloud’s deranged memories, so in that sense, the ending might have fallen flat for those who don’t know exactly what Sephiroth represents or who he is, or why he stole Jenova from Hojo’s lab, etc, etc. Plus, throwing in Zack at the end is something that anyone who played the original game or Crisis Core would get, but new fans would also not understand the significance of. Personally, I screamed when I saw Zack because I was so happy , but I can see why that ending would be very unsatisfying and/or confusing for some.

Overall: 9/10

No, it doesn’t get a 10/10 for me, even as someone who absolutely loves Final Fantasy VII, but hey, no game is perfect. It’s honestly hard to live up to the hype this game has created since it was officially announced, and all things considered, Squeenix -did- live up to it. I will still be eagerly awaiting part two, playing the shit out of this game and squeezing the most I can out of it until I get to experience more.

I’d love to hear what other people thought (so long as the discourse is respectful of course). If you read this far, thanks for listening to my ramblings!

[blackjack-15]

Not Horsin’ Around — Thoughts on: The Secret of Shadow Ranch (SHA)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it. Unique to this game is a section in between The Mystery and The Suspects titled The Historical Background, as the background in SHA is so important and takes up nearly a third of the whole game that it deserves its own section.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: SHA, non-spoilery mention of TRT, non-spoilery mention of CAP, non-spoilery mention of DED, non-spoilery mention of SPY.

The Intro:

Secret of Shadow Ranch is one of those games that invariably ends up in every “Best Of” list of Nancy Drew games. Unlike another mainstay of those lists (watch this space for the next meta, where I will Make Enemies), SHA actually deserves to be on it without reservations.

Unlike a few other “Best Of” games, SHA doesn’t actually do anything new with its story — there’s no beat, no bare-bones plotline, no mystery that hasn’t been done in the previous 9 games – but it just does it more completely. There’s more effort, more time, more thought, and more care obviously put into SHA (which itself is one of the most popular Nancy Drew books) than a lot of the other games. This isn’t to say that the other games are bad, just that SHA has a uniquely huge amount of care and detail put into it.

I should take the time to note here that I don’t believe that SHA is the best Nancy Drew game of all time, nor is it my favorite game of all time. The first designation shifts according to time, and the second is wholly dependent upon my personal style of play, so elevating a game based on that is less than pointless. When I say SHA deserves to be on “Best Of” game lists, it’s because it genuinely ticks all the boxes to make a fun, challenging but not hard, atmospheric, and honestly engaging experience.

Any introduction to Shadow Ranch would be incomplete without addressing the largest visual change it brings: the full-screen visuals. The bulky 2/3-of-the-screen interface is retired here and instead a (relatively) sleek task bar is added at the bottom, allowing SHA to look, as well as feel, bigger than any other game that came before it. Not only does this result in a smoother visual (especially as Nancy turns around) style, but it allows for more visual puzzles (significantly, the puzzle at the end with the stones marking the correct (and incorrect) path for Nancy to take).

While I won’t go too much into the Historical Background (as it’s significant enough in this game to get its own section in this meta), it’s impossible to talk about SHA without mentioning its wonderful historical setting and story. There are few other games so entrenched in the past (SPY, GTH, and TMB are a few others that fall into the same category), and it’s a joy to play through.

All in all, SHA is an honestly just wonderful, solid game that owes much of its well-deserved praise to a fantastically executed historical background, solid (if not showy) characters, and enough simplicity on top of its moving parts to encourage the player to go steadily and happily through the game.

The Title:

As far as the title for this game goes, they stuck exactly to the book to ensure that readers would know that one of the best-loved mysteries was being adapted to video game format, which was a pretty good idea.

The Secret of Shadow Ranch is also just a pretty great title; it indicates a mystery, a location, and sort of tells you the type of mystery you might get based on the location (historical; revolving around the Wild West). It’s not fussy, and not overly evocative, but it’s also not a “haunting” game (despite the ghost horse on the cover), so the simpler title is acceptable.

The Mystery:

Nancy’s just off to visit Bess and George’s Aunt Bet and Uncle Ed in their ranch (Shadow Ranch, to be exact) when the two cousins get delayed (why they didn’t all fly together…well, the plot demanded it) and Nancy arrives alone and immediately gets sucked into the strange happenings at the ranch.

It wouldn’t be a Nancy Drew game if something wasn’t hinky right off, naturally.

Uncle Ed and Aunt Bet are currently in the hospital after Ed was bitten by a snake that showed up in their bedroom, so Nancy’s left to deal with the ranch hands as she tries to help the ranch to run smoothly and investigates exactly how Ed might have gotten hurt.

The game ditches the plot of the original book and takes two-thirds of the plot of the revised yellow hardcover version, focusing around a strange phantom horse that seems to leave accidents and misfortune in its wake and around the historical plotline of the famous outlaw Dirk Valentine’s hidden treasure.

While it would have been cool to deal with the original mystery of Shadow Ranch — involving a missing father found with amnesia and an NPC in the form of another of Bess and George’s cousins — HER didn’t really have the resources nor the writing to deal with such a personal plot yet, and they instead (wisely, in my estimation) chose the plots that could be dealt with in what had become typical Nancy Drew PC Game fashion. This decision made Shadow Ranch one of the most tightly plotted of the early games and allows the player the time (and space, with the new layout) to explore the beautiful Southwest visuals as a trade-off.

As is commonplace with Nancy’s “vacations”, she soon finds herself embroiled in two mysteries where everyone has motive and opportunity, where the “means” belongs to everyone, and where no one will tell her the truth until she exposes them. Because Nancy can’t really contact the only victims of the accidents (Bet and Ed), there’s overall less to do on the phone in this game and Nancy has to make do with four suspects.

As far as mysteries go, Shadow Ranch isn’t the most involved that HER has ever attempted, but it is fairly complex for the Classic and Expanded games, and it takes pride in being easy to follow and engaging. The Dirk Valentine plotline specifically is tightly plotted, well-delivered, and…well, as perfect as you could get, really.

The Historical Background:

Normally, the Historical Background of a game is covered in the Mystery section, but SHA’s historical background is so far at the forefront of the game (not to mention so well done and memorable) that it would be a travesty to try to include it in another section.

The history behind the game centers on an outlaw, Dirk Valentine, and his forbidden romance with the sheriff’s daughter, Frances Humber, who lived at Shadow Ranch. Frances’ father Meryl disapproved of the match and relied (unbeknownst to her) on his daughter’s knowledge to find and arrest Dirk.

Dirk is then hanged for his general outlaw-ery, but not before mentioning a treasure that he wanted to give to Frances in a letter to her before he died. After his death, Frances left her father and headed east, leaving Meryl regretful of hanging Dirk and wishing to have his daughter back with him again.

The only remaining bit of Dirk left behind is his treasure, which Frances has no interest in and tells her relative about and which the Wild, Wild West finds an intense desire in. Since then, many have tried to find his last legacy to Frances, but all have failed…

Dramatic ellipses aside, the best part of this background isn’t that it involves outlaws and treasure and family drama and all that — it’s that it is all told via narrated letters and diary entries that Nancy finds hidden around the ranch. While this story would be effective on its own, the fact that it’s told to Nancy (and via Nancy, the player) makes it even more gripping than it would be on its own.

The biggest reason why the historical background gets its own section, however, is that it’s one of the best historical backgrounds in the entire series, and certainly the best of the series so far (even though I prefer TRT’s, SHA’s is told more effectively). SPY is up there, but it cheats a bit by having its backstory tied directly to Nancy, so I won’t count it as high on the scale. The only other game (once again ignoring SPY) that gets quite as somber and effective without being melodramatic is CAP, which presents the backstory through another character and thus works just as well.

(As a side note, I’m not including DED here, since it’s less “historical background” and more “incredibly recent background”.)

The only thing that this background sours for me slightly is the present-day plot, as it’s not quite as tight, but that’s to be expected since that plot has to last the whole game. That, and the fact that it makes me bitter that we don’t get all of our historical background narrated for the rest of the series.

The Suspects:

Tex Britten is the surly ranch hand that assumes authority while Ed and Bet are at the hospital. He dislikes “city folk” (though after ASH, one can hardly call Nancy anything but “upper-middle-class suburban folk”) and trusts Nancy so little around the ranch that she’s not allowed to do anything without him hovering — except for be responsible for the horses’ nutrition and survival.

Not really circumspect, but I wouldn’t trust this 18-year-old who claims to be a friend of the family’s with anything fun either.

Gruff, rough, and difficult to deal with, Tex is set up as the “mean” suspect from almost the first moments of the game (though after Dave shows up at the airport in assless chaps), and he plays the part par excellence. Never is Tex any warmer than barely civil, and he doesn’t need to be “reformed” by the end of the game because, well, he’s just grumpy.

As a suspect, Tex is a pretty good one, and honestly my preferred suspect. Not because he’s mean or gruff or anything like that, but because it would have been a great analogue between him and Mary and Frances and Dirk (more on that below). While it would be boring to have the “mean suspect” be the culprit every time, at this point in the series (with only MHM boasting a “mean guy” culprit) it would honestly count as a subversion, and would add a bit of depth to his character beyond “mean guy with a soft spot for the women in his life”.

Shorty Thurmond is the cook at the Rawley’s ranch and is voiced by HER’s resident pinch-hitter and man of a thousand voices Jonah Von Spreecken. He’s a money-grubbing lazy cook with more interest in yelling at those helping him than in doing actual work.

Shorty, to no one’s surprise, is the culprit (what?? the get-rich-quick guy wanted to get rich quick????), and does make for a decent suspect in that you could say he’s “lazy” because he’s actually working hard to find the treasure. He’s creepy enough to set the player’s teeth on edge, but ultimately not sinister enough to really convince the player that he’s up to no good.

Dave Gregory, snatcher of panties and quickener of libidos, is not only the Figure of Sexual Awakening for fans who came in after FIN, but is also one of the canonical “love interests” for Nancy — aka, boys who show an interest in her while she alternately doesn’t or feels-like-she-shouldn’t reciprocate. Nancy can even not really tell him about Ned, for bonus “good girlfriend” points (points that really start appearing from TRN on). His aunt is the relative that Frances told about Dirk’s treasure, and so he’s been looking during his downtime on the ranch.

He’s also fairly smitten with Nancy to the point that he helps her the entire game, asking nothing else in return. But, since I’m not really commenting on realism right now (in any of its forms), I’ll let that one slide.

As a suspect, Dave doesn’t ever qualify. The game never sets him up to be suspected, his “gotcha” moment with Nancy is so piddling as to be inconsequential, and he aids and abets Nancy the entire time. It’s probably a good thing, honestly, as Tex and Shorty are set up from the start to be the most suspicious, but I do think it would have been better to at least play along with him being suspicious until the one-third mark, especially since Mary is such a non-player as well.

Rounding out our cast is Mary Yazzie, who sells art and stones near Shadow Ranch and is banging Tex like a drum in Secret. Her area of interest is in the Pueblo people, and has tried repeatedly to purchase some of the land of Shadow Ranch in order to, according to her, look for more petrified wood artifacts. Ed and Bet refuse to sell, however, which sets them at odds with Mary.

As a suspect, Mary isn’t fabulous. Other than her offers to buy part of Shadow Ranch (and her taste in men), there’s nothing sitting against her. The game doesn’t bother to really implicate her in anything, and she more serves a helping role (if not The Helping Role). Her presence does open up the game to include Native American themes and stories, but other that that Mary’s really only there to make the numbers fit.

While Mary is the only female suspect, she’s not the only woman in the cast, which includes Charleena, Frances, Aunt Bet, Bess, and George (of important/speaking roles, 6 females to 8 males, by my count, making this an average-sized cast).

The Favorite:

Charleena Purcell is a delight and a treasure here and one of a small number of reoccurring characters. I’m a sucker for author characters since they’re usually slightly unpleasant (and I value that in a character who gives information to a detective), and everything from being a great phone character to her voice acting is A+. Jonah Von Spreecken’s additional role as Charleena’s assistant should also get a mention here. Honestly, what can’t that man do?

A big — possibly the biggest — thing that HER gets so, so right in this game is the voice acting. While Lani is her usual early-game self (quasi-invested and missing some native inflection, but not yet the incredibly old-sounding voice that happens a bit further down the line), Rob Jones’ Joe Hardy, Jonah Von Spreecken (as mentioned above), Max Holechek’s Meryl Humber, and above all Gary Hoffman’s superlative Dirk Valentine elevate this game far above the sum of its parts.

It’s a very lucky thing that this game was released before the (misguided, in my estimation) feature that lets you skip dialogue, because if you could, I truly believe that SHA wouldn’t be half as memorable or well-beloved as it is. Hearing Dirk’s assurances and Meryl’s increasing sadness is far, far beyond anything that reading them could give you, and I honestly believe that HER knew this and planned accordingly. 

Sure, it was more expensive to record that dialogue rather than simply read it, and additional voice actors had to be hired, and more time had to be spent — but the end result is the main takeaway from SHA, and that is to the game’s incredible benefit.

My favorite moment in the game, to no one’s surprise, then, is the reading of Dirk’s letters. It only takes a few sentences to get wholly invested in him Frances, and their love story. It’s the height of Americana to root for the outlaw of the Wild, Wild West, but it’s taken one step further with Dirk who has been given some of the best lines in any HER game. 

It’s a simple moment, but effective, and it stays with me not only every time I play but even when it’s been a few years since I’ve cracked open the game.

My favorite puzzle is the horse-trivia-on-a-horse one, as it tests the player’s thoroughness in exploring and reading, and also is incredibly hilarious to see Nancy riding around a pen while an angry ranch hand spits questions at her like he’s investigating her for murder. It’s fun and side-splitting in its absurdity, and I do love good-natured absurdity.

The Un-Favorite:

           For a book famous for introducing Bess and George, I can’t help but feel that it really was a missed opportunity not to include them more in this game. Sure, it helps Nancy to be on her own so that she can investigate without being hamstrung by anyone else, but this was a perfect opportunity to be able to play as another character for a while and to see more of Bess and George than witty puns and suspiciously prescient clues, so I will count this missed opportunity as a least favorite thing in the game.

*metal piece picked up* *metal piece put down* *metal piece picked up* need I say more??

My least favorite moment in the game is the “Heeeeere’s Shorty!” bad ending. It’s breathtakingly unnecessary, creepy as all get-out, and makes you stare at a Shorty face that looks like it was rendered with Windows 1 running on oatmeal for processing power.

My least favorite puzzle in the game isn’t actually the metal maze I mentioned above (though that would get an honorable mention, definitely) — it’s the arrowhead hunting. If you’re looking all along (and know to be looking all along), it’s not too tedious, but if you have the bad luck to miss one or two along the way, what follows is a half hour of pouring over every spot in every location to find them. Generally, my least favorite things in games tend to be those that are essential yet easily missable, and the arrowheads fit that bill exactly.

The Fix:

So how would I fix The Secret of Shadow Ranch?

First, I would honestly remove the Hardy Boys from the game. They don’t get the time they need to shine, and the game is busy enough to not need them. Move them to CUR and you get at least two characters I care about in that game.

As mentioned above, I would make the connection between Mary/Tex and Frances/Dirk clearer (rather than sub-sub-subtext) and switch him and Shorty’s position as the villain.

Make Shorty guilty of being exactly what is he is — a man obsessed with get quick rich schemes — and have some of the incidents be his fault (the snake is a good one to hand to him, as any cook in the desert on a ranch knows how to catch and cook snake) so that he has room to look for the treasure, but maybe stop him from finding a few key things (like the secrets in Dry Gulch) and take out his bank robber connections (which is easily the silliest part of the game). Maybe Tex uses him and slowly siphons off information that Shorty leaves lying around until he knows All.

Meanwhile, Tex is a gruff man who cares about his sister and his girlfriend and is thankful to the Rawley’s about his job…but he’s also a man who needs money to pay for his upcoming engagement/wedding to Mary Yazzie, who’s helping support his sister, who’s a bit angry that the Rawleys fired his sister, and who figures that if anyone can find a cowboy’s treasure, it’s another cowboy who knows the land like the back of his hand.

His expertise with horses makes it easy to coat one in phosphorus and safely release and get it back, his omnipresence around the ranch makes it easy to sabotage, and his natural reticence gives him a reason never to have an alibi — he just doesn’t like to be around people. Tex is, in fact, so perfectly set up to be the villain that it doesn’t feel like a twist that he’s not, it feels like a mistake.

For the finale, while Shorty chasing Nancy down is scary enough, the image of Tex doing so is even worse. This fix strengthens motive, adds multiple narratives, and spreads out the guilt enough to make most characters interesting. It would also give Mary more of a presence and add in the possibility of her being an accomplice (which I would love), and firmly sets Nancy at odds with three-fourths of the cast.

I’d also include Bess and George more heavily in the game. Since they handle the beginning of the Charleena Purcell line already, I’d have that whole storyline shifted over to them. You play as either Bess or George finding the novel, calling Nancy, and taking the lead to wheedle their way in past Charleena’s assistant (definitely a Bess-type job, but George attempting it would be hilarious with Bess whispering instructions) and get the information Nancy needs. The airport itself would be easy enough to limit to a small explorable area, and HER could even pass the contacting Ed and Bet to their actual nieces.

These changes would expand the game slightly and add to the runtime, but it would also help SHA to be even more of a landmark game and to be an appropriate end to the era of Expanded Games.

[moonsheen]

A Beginner’s Guide to New D&D Players

So between the The Adventure Zone and Critical Role, there has been a really great D&D renaissance among Ye Olde Fandom, but with great roleplay, comes great responsibility, and I’ve noticed between these two fandoms (Adventure Zone in particular) there are some new player pitfalls that I have observed in the wild, that can sometimes be a little tricky to navigate in a new campaign:

The Extremely Bored Significant Other:  They might be here because they’re dating another player. They might be here because they’re just part of the friends group and like spending time with everyone, but regardless, when they heard ‘game night’ they probably expected something that involved a lot less stat crunching. They continue because they love you and/or their significant other, but nothing can save them from how terribly weird and confusing they find this game.  They came to their first session with no stats allocated. They didn’t even pull a pre-prepared character from the book. The table builds their character for them in the first half hour of the first session.  Every time its their turn in battle, they have to have their stats and rolls reexplained them, in painstaking detail, and they will wonder, again, why on earth we couldn’t all be playing Munchkin instead.

The Sassy! Spontaneous! Thief: They thinks they’re being like Yuffie from Final Fantasy 7, but they have forgotten Yuffie’s antics at least resulted in some really cool items at the end of that questline. Also, that everyone pretty much universally hated that questline (I actually liked it, but I am an outlier and should not be counted). The sassy thief is out for loot. They think their rogue is the coolest thing ever, and want to show off that dex stat no matter the circumstances. They will roll to pick pocket, steal, and plunder in every single room they encounter in the game, and no they don’t care if they interrupt the scene for ten minutes to do this.  When the party spends too much time deliberating, the thief runs ahead.  If there’s an NPC with important information, they try for his wallet.  They think the party finds these actions are endearing, and the party might, right up until the third time the thief aggros fifty skeletons in the room an NPC warned them not to go into five minutes ago.

The Griefer: A bit of a variation of the Sassy! Spontaneous! Thief, but always rolls wizard or sorcerer because they want that sweet, sweet fireball spell.  They might not be that big on D&D itself on a whole, but they have a passion for figuring out how to break the game and they’ll do everything in their power to accomplish this goal because they like seeing the DM sweat. The tool of course, is that sweet, sweet fireball spell.  Goblins? Fireball. Locked door? Fireball. Bar tab they don’t want to pay? Fireball. Sometimes they can be handy, because they’ll figure out the exploits no one else considered, but for the most part DMs have to keep them distracted, because they think chaotic neutral means they can set NPCs on fire in the middle of their exposition.

The Straight White Dude: You all know this guy. He rolls barbarian or fighter. He has minimal interest in the campaign itself, but nevertheless assumes by virtue of his Straight White Dudeness that he will be the hero of this story, and the story is in fact about one thing: killing things and getting EXP.  Has built a character solely for fighting, with optimum min-maxing to do more damage. Sometimes he comes with a character’s backstory prepared. Most of the time he has to be persuaded not to use his own name in the game. Despite his conviction that he himself is the true hero of the campaign, he shows minimal interest in plot hooks if they don’t result in more battles. Despite his disinterest in the roleplaying aspects of the game, he will sulk immensely when he is not the center of the roleplay sections.  His character is ostensibly chaotic good, but that this will not stop him from methodically murdering every single NPC in a castle to farm that sweet, sweet EXP.

Please note, this is not a judgment on any of these particular players as people (except, perhaps, Straight White Dude, whose Straight White Dudeness and conviction he is the True Hero of the Story can carry into non-game settings), chances are these people are all your friends who you like very much.  Chances are they are equally new at this and, as with all things, they will grow and improve with time. Chances are also that you yourself, gentle reader, have fallen into at least some of these categories your first game! Chances are, also, that a few sessions in they will shed these stereotypes and blossom into fun players.  But it might not be this campaign.

[finalproblem]

Bolt Holes

So if John Watson didn’t really have an affair--he only thinks he did due to a corrupted memory courtesy of TD 12--what was the deal with the note from “E”?

When I first looked at this question it was before TLD aired, so I didn’t know about the memory wipe to come. I was just kind of cataloging things involved in the E scenes that could function as clues. (They keep showing the time, a newspaper could have a secret message like in The Red Circle, and so on.) Some of those things could still turn out to be relevant later, but I’m going to cut to the chase and just highlight the clues that stood out most to me because those are the ones that I ended up getting anywhere with.

Potential spoiler warning: There are two setlock photos from The Six Thatchers filming in this post. One of them is just there to make a point about filming, but the other could be considered to give away something for the future if I’m right. On the other hand, if I am right, it’s something you could have theoretically figured out with just the in-episode clues. I was on the track and might have gotten there eventually that way. But by chance I happened to find a setlock photo that gave me a push first, so I’m not going to write this post pretending to have done anything cleverer than I actually did. (If this is even right and I’ve done anything clever at all.)

So as far as I was concerned, there were three main features of interest in this case.

The Bus Ticket

It seemed notable that E appeared to have written her number on the back of a paper bus ticket.

Even moreso when Googling for images of London bus tickets brought back this (setlock-photo-containing) post as one of the first results. In that post, setlockers discussed whether it made sense for her to have a paper ticket for a London bus at all because they’re no longer available.

As far as I can tell, they’re right. Paper tickets aren’t available for London buses anymore, because they’ve switched everyone over to using Oyster cards and passes. That means either the fact that E wasn’t using an Oyster card may’ve been a clue, or that there was something significant enough about that ticket that the writers decided to cheat reality to say people still use paper tickets for the sake of a clue. (I would lean toward it being the latter, since it’s asking a lot of the international audience to know about Oyster cards when they haven’t been explained in the show. On the other hand, we are running a canon oyster reference short... So maybe it’ll be both reasons in the end.)

What kind of clue could a bus ticket hold? Was there something about the time or route or other information on it that could’ve tipped John off that not everything was what it seemed?

The Bus Route

I thought it was interesting that they decided to come to London and shoot this scene at a real, specific London bus stop. A ton of the stuff in this show isn’t shot at the real location it’s supposed to be set at, so why care this much about getting to shoot at a certain bus stop as a location?

This is the real Lambeth North bus station. You can compare to the Google Street View version here.

Not only did they use the real bus stop, but they made sure to put the correct route numbers to match on the side of that bus.

And no, it’s not just that they rented out the real Route 59 bus for filming. That was definitely a detail that Sherlock’s crew added, because in this setlock photo you can see they were using a bus with a different route number:

(image via, original from)

And that they would go to all this trouble and make it for a bus stop that’s on Route 59... Doesn’t that number sound familiar?

They called our attention to it earlier.

So what’s so special about 59?

The Flip

The other interesting thing was what happened when John got home with the ticket-note.

He’d apparently folded it up, so as he unfolded it, the onscreen text flipped and flopped appropriately.

That reminded me of the flipping effect they’d done with “AMMO” to “OMMA” earlier in the episode.

The “OMMA” effect hadn’t been particularly useful or relevant to the plot. But it had been a good reminder that sometimes you can flip a word or message around and it will read as a different word or message instead.

As you can probably guess, this is when I started thinking about different ways to flip E’s message or something about the ticket, and what alternate meaning there might be in it once flipped. Before I got very far with that, though, I took another peek at the setlock image that was included in the post I mentioned about whether paper tickets still exist. Tracing back to the original version by @weloveyousherlock gave a closer look:

It looked to me like the ticket was for Route 65.

E had a ticket for the wrong bus.

65 is not 59.

If you take the number 59 and flip it upside down, though...

...it reads as 65.

As a shot in the dark, I figured it might be worth looking up what stops were on Route 65. One of those stops stood out.

That’s the first bus stop recommended to people wanting to visit Kew Gardens:

And Kew Gardens? That’s relevant to Sherlock because of what we learned about Sherlock’s bolt holes in His Last Vow:

Mycroft: Five known bolt holes. There’s the blind greenhouse in Kew Gardens and the leaning tomb in Hampstead Cemetery.

The printed side of London bus tickets contain enough information that it would be really easy to slip in the time and place for a meeting...

...without making it too obvious in the event the ticket fell into the wrong hands.

Granted, John did not appear to look at the printed side of the ticket before he decided not to throw it away.

But maybe the face he made when he decided not to trash the note from E wasn’t an “actually, I’m going to keep this and flirt with her” face.

Maybe it was a “hang on, what does it usually mean when a pretty woman randomly comes up to me on the street?” face.

Mycroft. It means Mycroft.

(Okay, in A Scandal in Belgravia it meant Irene. But John still thought it meant Mycroft at first, so the point stands.)

The show cut away from the bus stop right after John made that face, but lets assume he took a closer look at the ticket after catching on this might be a roundabout message from Mycroft.

Then John headed over to the blind greenhouse at Kew Gardens for the secret meeting to find Mycroft and Mary waiting there. This is when John got pulled into what would become the “let’s fake Mary’s death” plan.

E had simply been serving as a messenger for Mycroft the whole time.

They foreshadowed this with earlier dialogue (well, we heard it earlier in the episode, anyway, even if it wasn’t earlier in the actual timeline):

Sherlock: [referring to the John balloon] What is that? John: That is me. Well, it’s a me substitute.

John: What’s this? E: This is me.

If the balloon was “me” and a substitute for John, E was “me” and a substitute for Mycroft.

So when John added the number for E to his phone and sent a text later, he was either contacting E as an intermediary for Mycroft or texting Mycroft directly using a different number than usual. In which case, Mycroft’s use of an uncharacteristic “Hey” as a reply was a way to keep up the pretense that it wasn’t him John was texting. And all of this subterfuge was necessary because they needed it to look like John was just texting some random woman and not plotting with Mycroft Holmes. In the bigger picture they are going up against rogue hackers and corrupt uses of government surveillance--they can’t trust that no one is reading their text messages. Which is also why they had to have the initial meeting in person at the Kew Gardens bolt hole.

But what about all the other texts we saw John send? Those didn’t seem like they were for Mycroft...

If you’re a mystery writer, the great thing about John’s texts is that they all look alike and have no identities attached. Unless there’s a clear clue in the message, any text could be to or from anyone. So all you need to do is lay those texts on top of specific background actions or edit two text messages back to back and people will assume everything’s connected and part of the same story thread. You don’t even need to lie to the audience--they’ll do it to themselves.

After “Hey,” I don’t think the other implied affair texts we saw were to Mycroft (or Mycroft via E).

John seems like he’s hiding these texts from Mary, or doesn’t want her to see him texting at least.

We’ve already established John’s not having an affair. And he’d hardly need to hide from Mary that he was working on her own faked death plan.

Others have suggested these texts could be a conversation with John’s sister, Harry. And I think that’s a good suggestion--especially when you consider that we’re obviously going to have some sibling themes running through the next episode.

I’ll throw out one more possibility as well--John could also be texting with Clara, Harry’s ex-wife. She was mentioned as part of the phone deduction in A Study in Pink:

Sherlock: Did I get anything wrong? John: Harry and me don’t get on, never have. Clara and Harry split up three months ago and they’re getting a divorce; and Harry is a drinker. Sherlock (looking impressed with himself): Spot on, then. I didn’t expect to be right about everything. John: And Harry’s short for Harriet. (Sherlock stops dead in his tracks.) Sherlock: Harry’s your sister.

It would be a way to bring things full circle in The Final Problem if it turned out Clara texted John because she was worried about Harry and wanted to stage an intervention or something. Which could explain John’s later text as well:

And it’s not as if you couldn’t say “it was nice to get to know you a little” to an estranged sibling, but that line might play slightly better with a former in-law you never knew well because you’d spent the three years before their divorce serving in Afghanistan.

And all of this background drama with Harry could also fit with the scene right before John and Mary got the texts about going to the aquarium. Mary was saying how John didn’t make things easy by being so perfect, and he hesitantly responded that he needed to tell her something. We know he wasn’t having an affair, so maybe he was going to tell her that he’s actually not so perfect all the time, because he wasn’t doing a great job dealing with his sister’s issues.

So for now Clara’s my top pick for the secret texting partner. (And if they wanted to have Jenna Coleman go ahead and play her so people can finally stop asking for a Wholock crossover and to promote her new show that premieres on PBS right after The Final Problem airs, I won’t complain. 😉)

Meanwhile, with that text having absolutely nothing to do with E, it was just a nice audience-misdirecting coincidence that she was sitting at the bus stop right after John sent it.

Instead, E was probably there to deliver another secret message of some sort from Mycroft to John.

Getting back to the bolt hole theme...

Since Mary’s death was faked, when we saw John in a cemetery at the end of The Six Thatchers, it was a misdirection. He wasn’t visiting her grave or leaving her funeral or anything like that.

Instead, John was either going to or coming from the other bolt hole Mycroft mentioned in His Last Vow: the leaning tomb in Hampstead Cemetery. (I’m not necessarily saying this shot was filmed in the real Hampstead Cemetery, and I don’t have the time to check whether this particular angle of view could even exist there. I’m guessing it’s more likely they used a stand-in cemetery, though. But wherever they are, the place looks like it could be from the Victorian era, which makes it work for Hampstead.)

If you watch the whole cemetery shot, you’ll note that it looks like John turns his head and looks to the side once he goes out of focus. He may be checking to see that he’s not followed.

With Kew Gardens and Hampstead Cemetery already looking likely, we got this from Mycroft’s notebook in The Lying Detective:

The list on the left half appears to say:

Monitor--

Baker Street Blind Greenhouse Leaning Tomb Clock Face--    Elizabeth       Tower?

I’ve theorized above that John’s already been to the Blind Greenhouse and Leaning Tomb (and in the listed order, no less).

The next bolt hole in the list is the one Mrs. Hudson referred to in His Last Vow as “Behind the clock face of Big Ben.” I think that’s the next bolt hole we’ll see. (And if you go back and listen, there were ticking clock type noises in the soundtrack when John sent the “Hey” text.)

It is interesting that they didn’t list that bolt hole as simply “Clock Face” or even “Clock Face -- Big Ben” to match the language of the HLV mention.

Elizabeth Tower is the proper name of the clocktower most people refer to as Big Ben. (”Big Ben” is actually the name of the bell in the tower.)

The character we saw at the bus stop was only “E” in the episode, but in the end credits she was “Elizabeth.” They’re also playing name games with Elizabeth and/or Alicia Smallwood, whose card was sitting on the notebook in the same scene. And by The Lying Detective, John was teasing Mycroft about a secret brother in a tower and the song played during the Eurus reveal was named “In the Tower.” So the writers are definitely working multiple angles at the same time. Probably partly as hints, and partly in an effort to give us enough seemingly-related information that we end up getting our theory wires crossed.

(Since I’ve theorized before about moles in the government and Mycroft feeding them false info on purpose, I don’t know if we should consider it suspicious that Mycroft left his notebook sitting open on his desk. He may be trying to bait someone into reading it... Or the writers may’ve just wanted to let the audience see for the clue’s sake and decided that was the least-awkward way of doing it.)

John never cheated on Mary--he was only helping her and Mycroft plan Mary’s fake death. The reason he now thinks he cheated is because when Mary and Mycroft used TD 12 to erase his memory of the fake death, they couldn’t let him remember why he was really talking to E, either. So the truth of the matter was either removed, or became corrupted once John forgot all about the fake death part and could only do his best to piece together whatever memories he still had of meeting E into a coherent story.

Okay, but how does any of this work if E was really Mycroft’s secret sister? And evil to boot?

She’s not really his sister. There is no sister. And I’ll get to the evil part later, because this is one messed-up lady.

[entergamingxp]

Romance of the Three Kingdoms XIV Review — More a Mediocre Date Than Thrilling Romance

March 10, 2020 3:31 PM EST

The latest instalment in a long-running strategy series, Romance of the Three Kingdoms XIV feels like a full-priced budget title. It’s functional and at times entertaining, but lacks the depth or variety of other games in the genre.

I went into this game with no experience of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms series of strategy games. The closest I could offer is having an avid player of all sorts of strategy games, both real-time and turn-based. I also know the source material pretty well, both through the original Romance of the Three Kingdoms book and a smattering of Dynasty Warriors games (also by Koei Tecmo) over the years. Having now played this latest entry, I am more curious about the previous titles… but I have no desire to continue playing XIV.

“Having now played this latest entry, I am more curious about the previous titles… but I have no desire to continue playing XIV.”

  For those not familiar, Romance of the Three Kingdoms dramatises a real period in ancient Chinese history. As the name suggests, it involves the various wars and political machinations of three kingdoms, all of which sought to unify China under their banner. With multiple factions and a huge selection of characters — real or otherwise — to draw from, it’s an excellent stage to host a strategy game in. Or, y’know, massively over the top action games with huge rosters… but that’s for a different review.

At its core, Romance of the Three Kingdoms XIV is a wargame with a smattering of empire management aspects. Though there are aspects of diplomacy and means of advancing without direct combat, it’s impossible to avoid in the long run. This title doesn’t offer the flexibility that something like Civilization can provide, let alone a Paradox grand strategy game. Sooner or later, you’re going to be throwing armies at people. So let’s talk about the systems surrounding it before we dive in to the wars.

Starting a new game will see you pick a scenario from about a dozen, each set in a different part of the timeline. You’ll pick a faction leader to play as, assuming control of whatever holdings and retainers they have at that point. From there, your objective is simple: beat everyone else and unify China. Some starting situations make this more challenging than others, but that’s always your end goal.

Managing your burgeoning empire is fairly straightforward. The map is split up into many provinces, with large cities dotting the landscape. Cities are the heart of your territory, and claiming the provinces around them feeds their resource production into the nearest city. Acquiring new provinces is as simple as marching an army in to claim their “core,” or else deploying a diplomat to woo them with gold instead. Provinces are further split up into many smaller tiles. The more of them you “paint” your army’s colour through troop movements, the more possession and therefore resources the province has.

There are only three major resources in the game: gold, supplies, and troops. Once a province is yours, you can assign a governor from among your officers to run it. They will then improve the building type according to the resource that you select (Commercial, Agricultural, or Barracks) and will gradually improve it as turns go by. This is the beating heart of your conquest of China; it’s one big land grab to take and hold as much territory as possible.

So, let’s talk about those officers. Each ruler you can select will start with their retinue of officers. More can be acquired either by sending your existing officers out to find talent or else try and sway the loyalty of other faction’s leaders to your service. You can also make your own officers, either to serve as a faction leader or just to populate the world… which also means you can make some pretty powerful characters right out of the gate. Officers have a selection of stats and traits to determine what they’re best at; you don’t want your genius accountants leading an army, for example. Ultimately, it becomes a juggling act of putting the right governors in the right place to develop your provinces accordingly.

“It’s one big land grab to take and hold as much territory as possible.”

Beyond this placement of governors, though, there’s very little active management for the player to do. Provinces will build up over time with little oversight, and there’s very little infrastructure management — no building wonders or anything like that. You’re given a limited number of Orders per turn, which are taken up by assigning officers to a post or a task (recruiting, diplomacy, espionage etc.). Once you’re out of Orders, you can tweak existing ones or move already deployed troops, or else end your turn.

What I found was that after the early setup of my empire, I was mostly just deploying the officers to search my cities for loose change or wandering recruits. There’s a number of Titles you can assign to your retinue, but this mostly amounts to giving them a few stat boosts. Likewise, you can appoint them to your Administration, wherein each officer has a passive ability they grant to strengthen your overall kingdom. Again, though, this is something you’ll not be doing too much after your early days of setup until you hit new milestones.

Other options for your officers include undertaking Sanctions or Plots wherein your officers will make suggestions at the expense of an Order. This ultimately amounted to “throw gold to speed up the development of a region,” boost morale, or else hit an invader with a debuff. Plots are ostensibly more interesting; you have options to poison leaders, shake up loyalty, incite rebellion, and things like that. Sadly though, these also amount to paying gold and rolling the dice to see if you can destabilize an enemy indirectly.

The management side of things doesn’t really expand once you get some cities under your belt, either. You can go through all your busywork manually, but it’s entirely feasible to assign these cities to a new division under AI leadership. You set them with a task and a target — build up resources, reinforce a different city, attack a specific base — and they’ll happily set about doing that quite competently. After some time trying to handle things directly, I just let them handle it for me and requisitioned most of their troops for my own forces when the wargame kicked in. The difference in result was fairly minor… and in some cases, I swear my AI officers were producing far more than I feasibly could’ve.

So, everything in Romance of the Three Kingdoms XIV is building up towards this wargame. I was hoping this would turn out to be more interesting than the empire management, but alas, it really wasn’t.

Officers are once again the core of the military gameplay. When choosing to march out an army, you’ll select an officer to lead that force. You’ll pick the formation of the army, which determines their stats and effectiveness (or whether or not they’re using a siege weapon) and is probably the most important choice available. You then assign however many troops the officer is leading — each individual has a cap — and then send them off into the field. You can adjust their orders every turn even if they’re out in the field, so no worries about committing to a suicide mission by mistake.

And that’s basically all there is to it. Once your armies are on the move, you can point them at a destination or a target and they’ll move there to the best of their ability. You can also assign them to build various structures on the map, such as arrow towers or blockades. If they come in contact with enemies, they’ll attack. Generally, a higher stat officer with a bigger host in a suitable formation will win.

Of course, that’s not always the case. Sending multiple forces at once to catch enemies in pincer moves or rear assaults is always effective. The previously mentioned Sanctions can inflict pretty devastating ailments on your foes to buy you a significant advantage. Troop counts may serve as an unofficial health bar, but there’s also the army’s Morale to consider. If that bar empties, the entire group will just ditch the fight and run away, instantly granting you the day.

“Everything in Romance of the Three Kingdoms XIV is building up towards this wargame. I was hoping this would turn out to be more interesting than the empire management, but alas, it really wasn’t.”

Crucially though, your officers come equipped with various traits and Tactics that can influence things. If all the prior conditions are met (formations, positions etc.) and then you happen to have fitting RNG, the camera will focus on your officer as they unleash their named Tactic and inflict a large hit.

It really is random on whether or not these abilities fire, however. You might think giving a rousing speech that inspires your troops is best used when you have your full army of 6000 marching into battle… only for the speech to happen when there are 10 guys left. Alas, that seemed to be the case for me more often than not. You’ll still want to factor them in when deploying your troops — some officers have joint attacks or tactics if moving forces alongside each other — but it’s risky to rely purely on them. Sound tactics and deployments will win you the day more frequently.

One of the major additions and systems in Rot3K XIV is the notion of supply lines. As armies move across provinces, they’ll paint the tiles with their faction’s colour. If there’s a clear line between their nearby provinces and their current position, they’ll gain increased stats and power. On the other hand, a deep strike into enemy territory can see an enemy force just retake the supply lines behind you, tanking your morale and forcing desertions in no time once you run out of food. You’ll want to advance and conquer methodically and protect your supply lines, as a result.

From my experience with the game though, the AI didn’t seem to take this to heart very much. I’d get large hosts charging straight for my cities quite often. All it took was a small force maneuvering behind to cut their supply lines, and boom. They’re doomed to a war of attrition against my walls that they inevitably lose. I’ve seen complaints that the game is too easy even on Hard difficulty, and given that the only major change I observed between difficulties seemed to be RNG success rates, I’d believe that to be the case.

So, even if you choose not to exploit this mechanic, the wargame aspect is still fairly straightforward. I’m not employing major strategies, customizing my army layout, or assembling different units. It’s just letting my empire build up until I have enough troops to do something with, then sending them on their merry way. Yes, I’ll still need to maneuver them around based on changes in the situation, but so much of the thought process behind it seemed very basic.

This is, unfortunately, the takeaway I got from playing Romance of the Three Kingdoms XIV. As I got used to the process of managing and automating the fairly simple kingdom processes, I couldn’t help but feel like I was playing an ascended mobile game. It didn’t help that the overall presentation and polish of the game felt somewhat cheap and disposable. The art is quite nice, but officer portraits are given very simplistic animations and the 3D models are very basic when used. The music is fairly repetitive, with very few different tracks that I heard. Playing the PC version, the startup menus and settings felt very cheap, and signs of a less than thorough localization are present. That extended further to general poor performance and sluggishness; despite the low graphical intensity, the game feels really poorly optimized. Even the presentation on the website seemed to have more polish.

While I didn’t experience any major bugs or crashes, there was one glaring issue: the calculations regarding supplies. As one of your major resources, you kind of want to keep a surplus of this, and so I did… according to all the in-game numbers and readouts. Nonetheless, I would frequently find that I was getting a lot fewer supplies than I was supposed to, occasionally leading to cities getting shortages. Even factoring in that the expense triggers three times per month but the income only once, I was still coming up short. Checking discussions on Steam showed that I wasn’t alone in this.

“I couldn’t help but feel like I was playing an ascended mobile game.”

I had to ballpark how much I really needed, trying to guarantee I never came close to anything resembling a shortage risk. Even so, I’d still get warnings, and once had a huge army quit the field instantly because I couldn’t keep them supplied despite my best efforts. That made the empire management even more annoying, but since my automated governors could apparently handle it, I just went hands-off after a while. It’s hardly an encouraging thing to have happen, though.

Overall, it just has the feel of a game developed on a budget. This wouldn’t be a bad thing, but the game’s price ends up making that feel very conflicting, especially since there’s a Season Pass available. The previous Romance of the Three Kingdoms got an expansion pack in addition to various cosmetic or scenario DLCs, which I fully expect to see happen here. This is a kind of standard for Koei Tecmo’s games at this point; you need only look to the number of releases and DLC packs each Dynasty Warriors game receives in a lifetime to affirm it.

With all of this in mind, I ended up walking away with extremely mediocre feelings about the game. Romance of the Three Kingdoms XIV plays decently enough, but it felt so basic and barebones that I had exhausted what there was to see mechanically before I hit double-digit hours of playtime. The extra scenarios and various historical events didn’t really go far enough in glossing over how simplistic the whole game felt.

Fans of the series and setting will probably find validation and likable aspects here, but I wouldn’t suggest jumping in here if you’re unfamiliar. There are better strategy games out there for cheaper with more depth, options, and personality than this one. By the end, I preferred the idea of just playing Civilization VI as China — that’d probably be a more fun evening of strategy for me.

March 10, 2020 3:31 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/03/romance-of-the-three-kingdoms-xiv-review-more-a-mediocre-date-than-thrilling-romance/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=romance-of-the-three-kingdoms-xiv-review-more-a-mediocre-date-than-thrilling-romance

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Extensive Ramble/Rant Regarding How to Fix The Mummy (2017)

Forward:The movie wasn’t terrible, it just could have been (and should have been) a LOT better. These are in no particular order and wouldn’t all work together in the same movie, but are changes that I feel would’ve made the movie significantly better.

1: They never should have gone to London. Believe me when I say this, I am a HUGE England fan, like beyond fan-status to creepy-stalker-status. I'm an American born-and-raised but my room is entirely decorated in Union Jacks and other misc. English stuff. I'd pay a million dollars to have been born English. So believe me when I say they never should have gone to London.

It added nothing to the overall story save that it was where Prodigium (the fancy monster hunters club that Jenny and Dr. Jekyll are a part of) was located. This movie is called the Mummy, it should have remained in Iraq where the sarcophagus was initially found OR been taken to an off-site, maybe temporary, base for Prodigium in Egypt perhaps. It should have remained in a Middle-Eastern desert area to keep the setting.

The only real reason I can find for them going to London (beyond the plot point about the Crusaders that I'll mention next) is that every movie goes to London these days. Why? I don't know. It's an amazing place surely, but so is a million other places on the planet. Why they always choose London, I don't know.

2: The Crusaders shouldn't have been involved. Unless I've seriously forgotten, I don't believe it was ever actually explained WHY some random crusaders had Ahmanet's ruby OR her dagger. It just seemed so random and clearly was meant as only an excuse to take them to London.

I suppose it could be argued that they stole it during the Crusades however it makes very little sense why they would intentionally separate the ruby from the dagger and bury them in two different places, or if they somehow knew it was an artifact of evil then HOW do they know? It's never explained, and it should have been, or avoided altogether by just keeping crusaders out of the story completely. There's too much missing context and/or history that overall makes their addition fall flat.

3: The movie should have opened with sex. As is with pretty much all supernatural action movies, it's the power of love that drives the main character to win the fight. This is totally fine, completely expected, and sometimes strangely a welcome addition to a movie. Except, there actually needs to be a love connection for this to work.

Honestly, at no point in the movie do I actually feel that the love between Jenny (Annabelle Wallis) and Nick (Tom Cruise) is real. Frankly, I'm STILL convinced that before that scene in the beginning where she accuses him of stealing her map, they had never met and she was just making up the whole damn thing about the hotel room sex.

The movie should have opened up with them in the alleged hotel room having sex and then when morning comes he slips away with the map and him and Chris (Jake Johnson) go out into the desert in search of treasure. Even if it was just a brief scene chopped up into a 10-second clip, that still would have added some potentially significant character development to both Jenny and Nick, as well as some much needed relationship development.

Because there was little to no development for their romance, it made the scene at the end where she dies and he stabs himself with the dagger to become Set fall completely flat. She comes across as nothing more than an acquaintance throughout the movie, one not worth becoming the Egyptian God of Death to bring back to life for.

4: Jenny should have stayed dead. As I said, some of these may be conflicting and this one might conflict a bit with the last one but actually doesn't have to completely if you want to develop the relationship and then kill her off.

I should preface, it's not that I don't like Annabelle Wallis, she's a good actress, attractive, and someone I could in theory see a typical Tom Cruise character hooking up with.

However, Jenny is not a good character. In one scene she's telling Nick that she thinks they pissed off the old gods, something that if anyone said in the real life you'd think they were completely mental, but in the very next scene she's in, when Nick is telling her he's seeing Ahmanet and that he's cursed she think's he is the mental one.

Now if she's lying then of course the obvious question is WHY is she lying when she literally just mentioned something about pissing off actual gods just a minute ago, but if she's not lying and genuinely thinks Nick is crazy then again WHY when she works for an actual monster-hunting secret society that deals with crazy monsters and curses all the time?

This is a trope I see in Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Supernatural movies, shows, books, games, etc. ALL THE TIME and it's a really obnoxious one. You live in a world where you are completely aware that monsters, or magic, or other unbelievable things exist and yet when someone you know says they have seen something equally unbelievable YOU DON'T BELIEVE THEM. It's infuriating. You know monsters exist, so why would you be so surprised that your friend has seen one? You wouldn't!

5: Nick shouldn't have gotten away at the end. Given their casting choice (which I'll mention in the next one) this idea is definitely an unlikely scenario but just hear me out.

Assuming Jenny stays dead in this improved version, after Nick stabs himself with the dagger, becomes Set, and kills Ahmanet, he should have gone over to Jenny's lifeless body and been upset over her death, and then immediately have been caught by Dr. Jekyll and Prodigium with the movie ending with Nick being locked in one of their cells as Nick, possessed by Set, yells at the camera.

It was unlikely because obviously Tom Cruise is supposed to be the face of this upcoming cinematic monsterverse, but I think it would have been significantly better had he been caught by Prodigium. Hell, the next movie could open with Dr. Jekyll interrogating Set/Nick about Jenny's death. Who better to understand a man with evil inside of him than Dr. Jekyll himself? The next movie could be about finding a way for Nick to bring Jenny back but having to do so while helping Prodigium locate another monster, all while dealing with the literal God of Death inside of him occasionally possessing him for a time.

6: Nick's character shouldn't have changed dramatically by the end. This one might take some explaining, as I'm not saying he shouldn't have grown by the end of the movie because obviously he should. All character should, especially when they've just been introduced to the existence of monsters, dark magic, and real Egyptian gods.

What I am saying is that the character we are introduced to from the very beginning is not the same character we see at the end. From the beginning, we have a sleazy guy who slept with a woman to get a map that leads to ancient artifacts he can steal to sell online for profit. In other words, he's basically an overall bad guy.

He's also not implied to be very intelligent throughout most of the movie, not to say he's dumb as a rock but he isn't very clever or wise. He isn't the Indiana Jones or Nathan Drake type of ancient treasure hunter who deciphers ancient texts and follow history to find hidden artifacts to put in museums later, he's the Aladdin type of treasure hunter who stumbles across treasure or needs a direct map to it and when he finds it he immediately thinks to use it for selfish gain.

In the end however, this seems to change because suddenly he can put two-and-two together that stabbing himself with the dagger will turn him into a god so he can fight off Ahmanet, and that he can use this god's power to bring Jenny back to life, and that he has to run away before Prodigium sees him because he knows they'll capture and/or kill him immediately for being Set.

This could be argued as me being nit picky and if so then so be it. I don't think Nick's character as shown to us throughout a majority of the film is nearly smart enough or capable of the self-awareness required to be able to do all of those things. This is another reason why he shouldn't have gotten away in the end of the film, because he shouldn't have known that he should have run in the first place.

Yes, yes I understand that the signs were all sprinkled throughout the film that Prodigium would kill him to stop Set, that the dagger would turn him into a god, and that this particular god was the god of death. I still don't think his character should have picked up on those signs, or at least his character should have been described as more of an Indiana Jones/Nathan Drake type character instead of a petty for-profit thief that he's portrayed as.

7: It shouldn't have been called the Mummy. I don't actually have an idea or suggestion for what it should have been called instead, but it just shouldn't have been called the Mummy. Contextually it makes sense given the movie is about a mummy, however the obvious comparison to be made is to the older Mummy movies with the same name despite them not really being all that comparable.

The older films were significantly more comedic in nature and played off as more of an Indiana Jones film if Indiana Jones brought his whole family for his adventures (and no I'm not comparing Crystal Skulls to The Mummy movies). Calling this movie the Mummy, while it recruits hype from any fans of the older films, would ultimately harm this movie given that it's nothing like those movies and would likely garner spiteful ratings by those who saw it believing it to be like the older movies.

It'd be like if I made a movie about a sci-fi treasure hunter and named it Indiana Jones. The only direct links are that his name is Indiana Jones and that they're both treasure hunters, but obviously my movie is nothing like the old Indiana Jones movies because mine is set in space with a sci-fi setting. Ultimately I would just be shooting myself in the foot naming it Indiana Jones.

[marvelmaster616]

Giant-Sized X-men Supreme Issue 6.1: Beyond Top Secret PREVIEW!

For most of X-men Supreme’s history, there has been a recurring theme of sorts. I started this fanfiction series because I was dissatisfied with the direction of the X-men comics and wanted to give an outlet to other X-men fans. As X-men Supreme has evolved, it has often been the case that when things are looking bleak in the X-men comics, things are looking more promising in this fanfiction series. When the X-men comics were bogged down with schisms and secret kill squads, the X-men Supreme fanfiction series was focusing on more traditional X-men stories like battling Magneto in Overlord, fighting a malevolent entity in the Cambrian Explosion, and exploring Wolverine’s mysterious history in The Lotus and the Warrior. X-men Supreme has managed to do all of this and more without resorting to time travel, clones, or major retcons. Personally, I take pride in that. I feel it helps X-men Supreme stand out in a way that the X-men comics just can’t at this point. However, the current situation in the X-men comics is changing. On top of that, the X-men Supreme fanfiction series just underwent its biggest upheaval to date. The events of X-men Supreme issue 148: New Divide capped off X-men Supreme Volume 6: Liberation Decimation with some devastating decisions. Charles Xavier has effectively restructured the X-men, integrating them into General Grimshaw and President Kelly’s newly-minted Mutant Monitoring Initiative. The dream, as the X-men have known it since this fanfiction series has begun, has changed. Some, such as Cyclops and Wolverine, believe that Charles Xavier has abandoned his dream altogether in the face of fear and uncertainty. Now, the X-men are divided. Friends have abandoned one another. Relationships, including that of Cyclops and Jean Grey, have been shaken to their core. It is a difficult, tenuous time for the X-men in this fanfiction series. Conversely, things are looking far less dire in the X-men comics. Their latest extinction plot is about to end. The X-men, and the mutant race as a whole, is on the road to recovery. Old allies, like Kitty Pryde, are returning. The vision of Charles Xavier and the X-men is once again starting to guide them again. It puts X-men Supreme in an odd position because moving forward, the X-men will be divided. There will be conflict between two teams, namely the X-men and the Cyclops-led X-Force. X-men Supreme Volume 7 is going to have plenty of tension and conflict, the likes of which the X-men comics are moving away from. It may be an odd position, but it’s one I intend to explore in a compelling way. X-men Supreme Volume 7 is already in the works. I have a vision for how it will play out. I have every intention of seeing it through. Before I begin that vision, however, I’ve decided that the time is right to do another one of my point-one issues to help set the stage for this new era in X-men Supreme. Like the point one issues that Marvel has done before, these are self-contained stories that act as jumping-on points and transitions. I’ve done several to date. Some, like X-men Supreme Issue 5.1: Deception Revelation, offered important insight into ongoing stories. Others, like X-men Supreme 3.1: Sin City Shenanigans, were just fun asides. For this one, however, it’s going to be serious. Before X-men Supreme Volume 7 gets going, I’m going to revisit another plot that has been brewing since The Good, The Bad, and the Sinister. With Cyclops about to begin a new mission with X-Force, he’s in a vulnerable state. Naturally, he reaches out to his father, whom he just learned is still alive after the events of Outer Limits. Now, just before he embarks on this new mission, he gets in touch with him and learns a secret that has remained hidden for years. It is entitled X-men Supreme 6.1: Beyond Top Secret and it should get X-men fans excited about X-men Supreme Volume 7. As always, I’ve prepared a preview for this extra-sized, extra-awesome entry of X-men Supreme. “We’re just about ready, Agent Brand,” said the top engineer, “The lab area is clear and we’re ready to lower the psychic dampeners on your order.” “Is the facility sealed on every other end?” asked Agent Brand as she looked out over the research area. “We’re officially in lockdown,” said her chief security officer, “It’s already raising a few red flags at the Pentagon. I don’t think they’ll appreciate us not clearing this experiment beforehand.” “I’ll handle anyone whose feathers get ruffled. Just make sure that we don’t have a repeat of what happened on Genosha,” said General Grimshaw. “For the record, I’m still in a position to detain the X-men over that affair,” Agent Brand reminded, “Xavier better not give me a reason to execute that authority.” “I know this goes against your nature, Agent Brand. But cut the good Professor some slack. He’s putting himself in a very dangerous position. You may not respect his vision, but you have to respect the man’s bravado.” Agent Brand remained skeptical. There were way too many ways that this could backfire. She and General Grimshaw stood behind several inches of concussion proof glass on the main observation deck, which stood a good two and a half stories above the main level. It allowed them to completely monitor the activity below. Charles Xavier was almost ready and the time had come to see if he could be as valuable as they hoped. Within the main research area, Xavier stood a mere ten feet away from the alien ship. Behind him and surrounding the perimeter were two squads of masked MPs. They all had their weapons drawn in preparation for any unforeseen threats. Captain Freeman stood with them, acting as the squad leader for this bold experiment. Having never been a science buff, he maintained a strict sense of indifference to this ordeal. “Are all these guns really necessary?” questioned Professor Xavier, “I get the impression that nobody here trusts me and given recent events, I find that troubling.” “I doubt it’s just you, Xavier. It’s the alien ship that’s the real x-factor here,” said Captain Freeman, “I’m pretty sure that everyone here has seen the movie Independence Day.” “Which movie was that again?” “The one where guns came in handy when unruly aliens were in a confined space. If you’re lucky they won’t be necessary.” “I try not to rely on luck in my line of work,” said Xavier, “I just worry that expecting the worst does little to help the odds.” Captain Freeman signaled the MPs to assume a fire-ready position. Professor Xavier wasn’t going to convince him or anyone to relax their guard. Not when alien threats were involved. Given his experience with the Shi’ar, that may not be an unreasonable approach. He remained poised under these unfriendly circumstances as he waited for the go-ahead from Agent Brand. After a final check from Captain Freeman to ensure that the lab was sealed and all non-MPs were behind sealed doors, he signaled the observation deck. “Are you ready down there, Professor? Last chance for a bathroom break or second thoughts,” said Agent Brand through a speaker system. “I’m ready if you’re willing,” said Professor Xavier confidently. “Then good luck and for all our sake, don’t make me regret this,” said Agent Brand in her usual coarse tone, “Lowering the psychic dampeners in 5...4...3...2...1.” There was a slight flicker from the lights as the facility’s elaborate psychic defenses were disabled. Professor Xavier picked up on it almost immediately. He sensed the barriers preventing his mind from utilizing his telepathy weaken. It created tension throughout the lab, knowing that the world’s most powerful psychic was now unhindered. Xavier made no effort to alleviate those concerns. His sole focus was the alien ship. Now that he could use his powers, he could begin the experiment. “It’s just as I suspected. There is indeed a psychic signature emulating from this ship,” said the Professor as he cautiously approached the vessel. “Does that mean there’s something alive in there? If so, it would be good to know if it was bulletproof,” said Captain Freeman. “I’ve yet to determine if it’s the ship’s inhabitants or the ship itself,” he said, “I’ll need to probe a little harder to uncover the truth.” Under the careful watch of many, Professor Xavier placed one hand on the ship and the other on his temple. He closed his eyes and began a psychic probe. He was immediately struck by the level of psychic clutter. The damage to the ship seemed to extend to the sentience. It was as if it had been wounded on a psychic level as well as a physical level. That damage led Xavier through a system that was still intact. As he began to access it, this ship that had been dormant for over 60 year became active. “Agent Brand, we’re detecting some significant energy readings from the ship,” said a SWORD researcher that was monitoring the experiment. “We have working eyes last I checked. Tell us something a 1st grader can’t readily observe,” said Agent Brand. “Our instruments can’t make sense of it yet, but Xavier definitely flipped a switch of sorts,” said another female SWORD researcher, “You know those computer-like components that we could never get to work? Well apparently, they’re working now.” “They’re doing more than just working,” said one of the SWORD technicians in a nervous tone, “They appear to be rebooting the whole ship! And not very smoothly from the looks of it!” Excitement quickly turned to tension as the activity from the ship grew more ominous. Lights along the edges activated. They flickered at first, indicating that the systems on the ship weren’t fully intact. Along with the lights came the distinct hum of the ship’s power source. It was a source that the researchers had never been able to understand and the energy it radiated defied what their instruments could detect. While Captain Freeman and the MPs remained vigilant, Professor Xavier remained focused. He continued focusing his powers for nearly ten minutes, trying to reach whatever sentience was within this ship. Then the activity took an unexpected turn. As the lights along the rim of the craft continued to flicker, the exotic propulsion system along the bottom of the ship was activated. It didn’t appear to be by design either. Three distinct hemispheres erupted in a burst of yellow light. This caused ship to levitate slightly and sway. At this point Xavier had to halt his probe and step back. From the looks of it, the ship was malfunctioning in major way. “Oh no…this is exactly what I hoped to avoid!” the Professor dreaded. “Whatever you did, you better undo it!” warned Captain Freeman as he stood beside him apprehensively. “That’s exactly what the ship is trying to do! It appears as though the ship is more damaged than I anticipated!” “What did you expect?! We already told you this thing crashed!” “I’m not talking about the damage done by the crash.” “You mean crashing doesn’t do enough damage to alien technology?!” exclaimed the mutant soldier. “From what I sensed, this ship was badly damaged before it crashed.” Captain Freeman was getting that sinking feeling that every soldier experienced just before a battle broke out. He and Professor Xavier continued to back away from the hovering ship. The rest of the MPs nervously held their ground, gripping their guns more intently than before. Something was clearly wrong with this ship and they were right in the crossfire. Up in the observation deck, General Grimshaw and Agent Brand shared their trepidation. Many of the researchers were either watching in amazement or scrambling to make sense of the data. Professor Xavier had definitely stumbled onto something and it was clearly very volatile. “What the hell is going on down there?!” exclaimed Agent Brand, “Somebody tell me something smart or I’ll start making assumptions!” “Uh...well remember that energy we mentioned earlier?” said one of the researchers, “Well apparently, the ship had some kind of system that could stabilize it.” “Do I need to give a damn about the nuts and bolts?” she asked. “All you really need to know is that system is malfunctioning,” said another SWORD technician, “And it isn’t a result of the crash either. These systems are failing internally!” “What does that mean for us?” asked General Grimshaw, now deeply concerned about the well being of Xavier and the MPs. “We aren’t entirely sure, but if I were to make an educated guess I would say that when Xavier activated that reboot we mentioned the system crashed,” explained another senior researcher as best he could, “Based on these readings, it loosely resembles a computer that was crippled by a virus trying to boot up.” “So the ship is crippled. Big deal,” Agent Brand surmised, “So why does it look like a busted up Chevy with a blown out engine?” “That’s where the data gets more disturbing, I’m afraid,” the senior researcher continued, “Remember those compartments we couldn’t open? Well I don’t think they were meant to be opened. The damage to the system didn’t seem to originate from the crash. It came from those compartments!” “So then what the hell could be in those compartments?” pondered General Grimshaw. “I don’t know, but if Xavier is right then it may be the reason why this ship crashed!” The possibilities were too disturbing to contemplate. Luckily or unluckily, they wouldn’t have to. As they continued watching the scene unfold, they heard a series of loud clangs from inside the ship. They were so loud and forceful that they caused dents to form in the hull of the ship. Something was definitely trying to escape. X-men Supreme Volume 7 will be a different kind of X-men story for this fanfiction series. It’ll be different at a time when the X-men comics are returning to their roots. It’s an inverted dynamic of sorts, but one I’m determined to make work. It’s going to be a challenge, but I won’t let that stop me from making X-men Supreme as awesome as it can possibly be. As I confront this new challenge, it’s still very important that I continue to get feedback. So please take the time to tell me what you think of X-men Supreme. Whether it’s praise, dread, fear, or animosity, I want to hear it. Either contact me directly or post it directly in the issues. Either way is fine. Until next time, take care and best wishes. Xcelsior! Jack