planneador

[ittybittybumblebee]

Not trying to armchair psychology you, just speaking from personal experience- it's really, really common to have autism, especially autism that is coupled with ADHD and OCD, be misdiagnosed as BPD for young people. This is most common with verbal autistic people who also suffer from abuse as a minor. The constant mental pressure often manifests as erratic thought and behavior, "strange" patterns of belief and groupings, and just a general feeling of feeling like you are Not The Same and don't know what's wrong but that Something is Wrong. Extreme stress for all of those problems can easily be exasperated into psychosis unfortunately, so a good approach involves being able to ground yourself with knowing how your mind is different, and that it is not broken. Whatever you find out, best of luck man.

thnx means a lot that u typed this out to me anon <3 i think ur def on the right track on what i could b dealing with but at the same time there has been a point where i was quite sure i must be autistic but felt i never had or experienced the same wide or specific and unique variety of stimming/stimulation issues like most autistics do and kindof let that thought slide a bit. because what sources i read had all listed those as being one of the important diagnostic criteria so that is what i understand.

having said that it could be my perception of how stimulation issues present themselves Personally has me feeling like i dont suffer them when i could still be affected in different ways that im not registering as possibly being That

[alun-ura]

Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do? and What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it? (Alun)

Big Ol’ Honkin’ OC Question List

Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?

I wouldn't say Alun gets jealous per se, instead what she feels is something more akin to protectiveness and spite to some extent - the way and the intensity of it varying of course depending on the person. In that regard Alun is usually very calm, she doesn't carry a sense of possessiveness over people for multiple reasons; one being that I hardly imagine Alun being a monogamous person, but going deeper into it would be that because of her lifestyle and past experiences, she wouldn't want to be heavily romantically invested to someone so she nips it at the bud before it can even get to the point of bubbling such a feeling.

Specifying a bit HOW she feels, when it comes to being protective of someone she does care about - Alun isn't exactly bothered about them being with someone else. Still, it is a lingering feeling of 'Is this person good enough for you?, Are they able to keep you safe? Will they hurt you?' that can make her somewhat hostile to this other party, or even seem jealous. When it comes to spite, it is usually aimed at partners she doesn't care as much about - people that tend to be more physical with her and, ironically enough, people that try to make her jealous. Most times, people with this kind of dynamic already have a nasty attitude coming from Alun, of overall being a prick and not pleasant - she'd often describe such people as her leftovers, if the other party wants that then she is more than fine with it. It's usually in a degrading way to both people, which can also seem like spiteful jealousy.

Alun neither feels bad nor regrets either situation, she feels entitled to both feelings in the way that A) She is seeking the best for that person when being protective to the point of being horrible to them, and B) She was never in an emotional tie to care about being spiteful to someone, often lacing it with the fact that she would have most likely warned them that things would be like that. Both are not exactly good, both her behaviors and her reasoning for them are rooted in deeper issues within herself that just flower up in such a way.

What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?

I think the main thing that comes to mind is her inability to emotionally connect or rely on people, though I realize Alun has many varying obstacles in all categories (go girl!) so for this I'd just go down the list.

Emotional; to explain this better I'll dip toes a bit into some past stuff as Alun has been on an emotional rollercoaster since she left the Steppes - which was the exact opposite of what she used to be like, in quite the opposite, she had experienced little and none during her time living there, to the point of getting into a 'stunted' personality and emotional. There was far too much to address and to live once she left, and hardly any care for it at the time as if one decided to eat a huge hearty meal after being starved for weeks. As expected, it didn't go too well which leaves the current times not too different from what she used to be - there was a myriad of situations and feelings she had never properly experienced truly, and the main and lingering one at the current times is love and grief. What slingshot Alun into the current person she is, how she behaves, and how she emotionally responds to things and people is the loss of a loved one caused by herself, perhaps the only one she deemed true in her life despite never truly allowing room for another after that accident happened. 

It is one of the biggest themes when it comes to Alun as a person in a deeper sense of her character (and something plastered all over her aesthetic tag) but particularly this encompasses the feeling well.

"my death will forever cling to you, leaving behind a slimy trail and a metallic taste in your mouth. my soul will forever drag you down like the heavy corpse of a long-dead god, who somehow still grants wishes. you can't tell which one of us is the one not letting go. you know not even your own death will end this." 

This branches out in other aspects of her obstacles per se but I believe it to be the biggest of them, realistically she should get over it - but the damage made by her and to her due to such feeling is the one thing that I find it incredibly hard to see Alun surpass as it grew into an enormous knot between emotion, physical and social all. She is constantly haunted by it, in her dreams and losing sleep over it, it follows her in a personality adopted by herself and traits that did not belong to her, she sees them in shadows and the corners of her eyes during medication, the crystal necklace being the only thing she has from them - that sometimes seems to talk to her with that same voice. And she has questioned her sanity before due to it all, even when she is doing good or when she is completely awake it is there as a constant ringing of what happened will be shackled to her. So it ends up reflecting an unfulfilled bond, in guilt and fear that she has to surpass to truly, emotionally connect with someone. I don't think she needs to get over ALL of these to make it happen personally, but because of the type of person she is, it is very easy for the other side to fuck up in the way and have Alun retract from any progress made.

Alun is bitterly aware of it, it has come into the topic before and she recognizes it as the issue it is when she began questioning her own sanity due to it, but she isn't trying to overcome it in any way. She has, as a character, gone full circle where she hated the lack of motion her life had brought her, only to willingly walk back into it herself - Alun is 'comfortable' in the stillness of carrying her life as it is until she dies and hopefully can meet them again. 

Physical; I think this can be addressed both in a bodily manner and a physical interaction way so I'll ramble about both. Going deeper into that, due to the scarring that such a loss left on her, the regards for her wellbeing were knocked away as well and this turned into a couple issues with her current days. She has sustained a couple injuries over the years, the worst being over her ribcage as I mentioned somewhere here before - the wound clearly affects her breathing if one has a keen eye for it. She also puts too much attention into defending that side, enough to leave room for other crucial parts of her body open as a target. Because of her behavior regarding her own body, she doesn't go through too much trouble in defending it, though of course she won't take blows if she can avoid it - but the scarrings over her are clear enough. To this point, she doesn't exactly have too many issues besides that which brings the actual bodily obstacle; her dependency on medication. Her body is usually aching, due to exertion, injuries, and the chemical response to the constant cocktail that goes inside her - usually all deafened by it. It has got to the point where she doesn't heal properly due to it, her response to a magickal approach isn't good too in both the body and mind, and on top of it, it has been affecting her inhibition and cognition to some extent. Her necklace takes part in how her body takes all of this in, but her addiction is by far her worst physical obstacle - and yet again, she is aware of it but she doesn't see it as a problem that has any other solution to it because she doesn't see the dependency as the problem, but how her body & health currently are now. 

The other facet of a physical obstacle is how she physically connects to people since the emotional option is usually out of the picture. This is the way that Alun will gladly invest herself into, though yet again it is in a destructive way as I mentioned above regarding her wellbeing. It is the easiest way to connect to her, and also the easiest way to completely shatter any opportunity to get anywhere 'closer' to her - and also what she WILL offer in most scenarios if the chance is given. This doesn't have to be romantically or sexually exclusive, and goes as far as offering herself physically to a foe [ in a fight right? :) ], ultimately, she gets the same satisfaction of being beside someone either as a partner or as an enemy. And this can go in any way, be together in combat or opposing, sharing a respite together, or in bed. With this, she is steadily building wall after wall that, as closely as it gets with the other person, she is putting her actual self further and further away while getting that high of a company she desperately wants, not that person's company but just A company. In a physically social way, I think this is the biggest obstacle and something Alun is actually not aware of - she is lonely and starved for different aspects of comfort, and she seeks all of these with the company of strangers regardless of if they are hostile or not.

Social; I think all of the above builds into her social issues and the knot I mentioned within all of these, that builds into her biggest social struggle that's her fear of getting close, her emotional distance while being physically close, how her medication aids in hindering her personality to an extent - all of these builds into Alun being a tricky individual to get close to because she is constantly shifting from cold and hot. It flickers back and forth, from friendly teasing to cruel remarks, of interest to silence, toothy grins that follow that perpetual monotone voice. Though the reason for it is an amalgam of all of the above, she has adopted many traits of the people that she knew, people that she lost, and built who she currently is as a walking monument for those. In a way, it is one of the reasons why she won't take the approach of just choosing to die - I know I posted this quote of hers here before but this is the best take I have of the creature herself about it. 

 “All that I am now, every memory, everything that I know, every thing that I did, every single fucking step of the way– I would give it all back t'him if it meant getting him back.” 

All that she currently is is pieces put together of those that she affected somehow, that Alun blames herself for - and this shows in her very personality, in an adopted form of speech, or her preference for certain drinks, down to the very fidgeting habits she has. She does this in a conscious way while seeing that both as the person she is and someone she also won't always be - which can make it difficult if someone is after knowing Alun in a deep sense, of who she is, or keeping up with her behavior.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Your gravity falls fanfics are so good!! :0 if you’re still taking requests could I request a one shot where Stan’s s/o is with him during the fight between him and ford and they get sucked into the portal instead of ford? I love your angst so much hehehe

Part two is right here

You had originally came with Stanley as support for when he confronts Ford after spending a long period of his life with no contact, no nothing to reassure his twin that he was fine and not dead in a ditch somewhere.

‘The nerve of him, living it up here and not so much as a word to his one brother, his twin no less.’ Stan muttered, his gip tightened on your hand as you both walked up to the lonely shack amidst the snowy forest, but there was something else there besides anger it was nervousness or perhaps worry that his brother didn’t contact him for one reason or another.

‘And here’s your chance to make yourself heard,’ you said as you squeezed his hand, hoping to comfort Stan during this difficult moment for him, ‘you’ve spent enough time to mull over what it is that you want to tell him, now is the time to let him know how much this has affected you and he will have to listen regardless.’

However you’ve came to realise that there was a lot more going on that Ford claims that you and Stanley weren’t aware of as his eyes shifted everywhere out of paranoia. You were still blinking your eyes after getting abruptly blinded by Ford upon first meeting, something about possession? You were certain this wasn’t how you thought you’d be meeting Stan’s twin -not in the slightest- but it was clear to you that Ford was afraid of something, what it was he wouldn’t tell only saying that he needed Stan to hide his journals, scatter them as far from each other which did nothing but annoy Stan.

You could see the clench in his jaw and his fists and were about to reach out and ground him but before you could blink, Stan and Ford were tussling over the journal across the lab as the portal thrummed with power, almost as if entertained by the fight between twins and you were left unable to do anything but watch.

‘Is that all you brought me here for! To help you hide your journals?! I bet I didn’t cross your mind not even once!’ Stanley shouted as he kept the journal close to his chest with his lighter as he managed to keep Ford where he wanted him.

‘You don’t understand Stanley! This is dangerous things you are holding in your hands!’ Ford replied, eyes firmly locked onto the journal and the flickering flame of his brother’s lighter that got too close to the journal’s pages for his liking. ‘Think about the potential threats-‘

‘Fuck that! I want my brother back!’ Stanley cuts his brother off as he grew frustrated at how his brother was - once again- not listening to him or what he had to say. ‘You could’ve called upon me any time! But you only call upon me when you want someone else to do your dirty work for you! What about what I want! My life is in ruins because of you!’ Ford lunged towards Stan and managed to knock the lighter out of his hand, grasping at the bottom half of the journal while Stanley tightened his grip on the upper half of the journal.

‘You ruined your own life and you’ll ruin y/n’s with the way that you are going!’ Ford retorts in a strained voice as he and Stanley tugged the journal in two different ways, just for Stanley to loose his grip, fall backwards and hurt himself on a hot surface that caused him to scream in pain. ‘Stanley!’ You and Ford yelled as you both went to rush to Stan’s aid, hoping he wasn’t too hurt, only for him to Punch Ford in the face and as Ford stumbled backwards he bumped into you. which then caused you to fall back into a lever of sorts; before soon finding yourself beginning to float and be drawn towards the portal with nothing to grab onto to prevent it from happening.

Freaking out you yelled, ‘STANLEY! HELP ME!’ You screamed as you found yourself getting closer and closer to the entrance of the portal, helplessly flailing out of pure panic and need to get away from it, not realising that your attempts to get away were fruitless. Your screams had dragged Ford and Stan from their fight as they could only watch in horror as half of your body was already in the portal.

‘Y/n! Baby! HOLD ON! JUST HOLD ON BABY IM COMING!’ Stanley yelled back as he frantically looked for anything he could use to rope you back to the ground, but grew frustrated when he couldn’t find not a single piece of rope or metal rod lying about, the lab was clean of any and all obstruction. ‘FORD HELP ME!’ He cried as he looked back at his twin, who was frantically looking himself for anything to get you away from the portal, just to face the same problem that frustrated Stanley. ‘I’m trying!’ He shouted over his shoulder as his guilt for bringing both you and Stan here began to weigh down on him heavily.

‘Well you’re not looking hard enough!’ Stanley barked as the fear of losing you was slowly crushing his chest, making it harder for him to breath as his mind raced with the thought of having to live a life without you, his anchor, his best friend and his beloved partner. He hated it, he didn’t want to envision it but here he was living the nightmare he swore would never come true, feeling helpless and useless as he was forced to hear your frightened sounds and not be able to do anything about it.

He didn’t even get to say the words ‘I love you’ yet as he was scared that you’d find someone better then him before he even mustered up the courage, but you never did. You stayed by his side, even if it mean moving from state to state almost every week because of him and Stanley knew he didn’t deserve you, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted to loose you from his life either.

Stan and Ford tired their hardest but it wasn’t enough as by the time they looked back at you, your outstretched hand was the last thing the pair saw as the portal closed, leaving them to stare at the portal in denial of their failure to rescue you. ‘Baby?’ Sanely said as he stepped forward hesitantly. ‘BABY! THIS ISNT FUNNY! COME OUT PLEASE!’ He cried louder now when the realisation began to set for him as he ran towards the lever, pulling it and pushing it in desperation of re-opening the portal in hopes of seeing you rush out and right into his arms; where he would keep you for as long as you’d allow him to.

Only for neither of those things to happen, the portal remained shut and you remained lost to whatever was on the opposite side, scared, confused and alone.

‘WHY ISNT IT WORKING!’ Stan screamed as he pushed and pulled, pushed and pulled the lever so much that Ford had to physically drag him away from it before he broke it, thus making more work for them in getting you back. ‘Stop Stanley, it’s not working!’ Ford said as he managed to stand between his twin and the lever, ‘the portal is out of power, it won’t open up unless we get the necessary materials to open it again.’

‘Then what are we doing! Let’s go get it!’ Stanley said as he was about to leave the lab but was stoped by Ford’s hand on his arm, which he shrugged off violently. ‘It’s not so easily obtained Stanley,’ Ford said as he let his hand drop to his side as Stanley glared at him, ‘we need money to get the parts needed to power the portal up. I only had enough to open it once and that took a lot of time, even with Fiddleford’s help, and without him or the necessary materials…’ Ford trailed off which didn’t help Stanley’s mood as he grew angrier at his brother’s insinuation.

‘They’re trapped on the other side forever?!’ He yelled. ‘Bullshit! I don’t believe that! I want them back now!’ Stanley then grabs Ford by the collar and brings him so that they were eye to eye. ‘Give them back or I swear to fucking god Stanford-‘

‘I can’t bring them back without the necessary materials Stanley I told you.’ Ford reaffirmed as he started at his heartbroken twin as the first signs of tears left his eyes, Ford felt Stan’s grip loosened on him until they went completely slack at his side as he fell to his knees, chin dropping to his chest as he silently wept. ‘Bring them back.’ Stanley chanted softly, ‘being them back to me, I can’t loose them. You don’t understand. They’re everything to me and now I’m nothing without them.’ Stanley whispered to the air as if someone with the power to grant his wish will hear him, but instead elected to ignore him and his pleads.

Ford, heartbroken at seeing how distraught and lifeless his brother had became, slowly knelt in front of him in silence, not knowing how to comfort him correctly as he felt himself to blame for your disappearance into the portal. He had taken away the one person who cared for Stanley in the times where his family couldn’t be bothered, someone who loved him unconditionally regardless of what he did and Ford had taken you away from him seemingly forever, so he wouldn’t be surprised if Stanley would hold a grudge against him for it.

However one thing was for certain, he’d help his brother get you back however he could, no matter how long it would take them, even if it took them thirty years to do so; it was a risk that Ford originally wasn’t willing to take but if it meant getting you back to Stanley then he’d do anything to see his brother happy again.

[val-made-a-mistake]

Currently imagining a scenario where you and Eddie have some sort of split custody arrangement for Venom, and you have some sort of NSFW dream about Eddie, and Venom sees the whole thing because of brain link or whatever, and then shares this exciting development with Eddie the next time he's bonded to Venom

venom is definitely not one to keep a secret, for sure 😭 thank you so much for your request, i hope you enjoy. :) smut-wise, it's a bit more focused on eddie than my previous fics where it was either symbiote-focused or an even split, hope that's okay. this was SO much fun to write!

warnings: brief smut, mentions of oral f receiving, mentions of "striking" the reader but it's totally a misunderstanding, loneliness, mentions of eating people/murder

word count: 3.3k

//////

It had been six days since Eddie had left for Seattle, and honestly, you hadn’t been expecting to fall into this loneliness so quickly. Venom might have been keeping you company by providing you with an endless stream of commentary in your inner conscience, and the chickens were constantly squawking and squabbling and wandering the length of the apartment as per usual, so it wasn’t like the space was totally silent, but still, Eddie’s absence was more saddening than you thought it would be. Over the course of the six days, you struggled to busy yourself. Of course you preferred Eddie having a job as to being without one, but one thing you particularly hated was how vague investigative jobs were, so as a result, you had no idea when he would come back or how long the work would take to be done.

For the time being, it looked like you were stuck here.

Before he’d left, Eddie had asked you to babysit Venom and his apartment, and now that you’d been here for an extended amount of time, you felt horribly restless.

Feeling the weight of the quiet apartment settling in, you cast a glance around the room. The hum of the refrigerator seemed to amplify in the sort-of silence, and you found yourself drawn to staring at Eddie's belongings scattered around.

Your gaze fell on a framed photograph on the shelf – Eddie with a carefree grin, arm slung around your shoulders. The memories flooded back, and a bittersweet smile touched your lips.

As if sensing your thoughts, Venom's voice rumbled in your mind.

EDDIE IS DEFINITELY MISSING OUT WITHOUT US AROUND.

The symbiote's attempt at comfort was appreciated, but it only deepened your sense of solitude.

Sighing you folded yourself into a ball on the couch, tucking your chin into your knees. The TV in front of you was off, and you had no intention to turn it on. For now, it was okay to mull in the quiet.

You mumbled into your knees, “What do you think he's up to in Seattle?" 

CATCHING BAD GUYS. KICKING BUTT. EATING SEATTLE FOOD. ZOOMING AROUND. ACTING PATHETIC WITHOUT US THERE.

“V, you and I don’t know anything about investigative journalism,” you put in gently.

Venom was, of course, offended.

I KNOW A LOT ABOUT EATING BAD GUYS!

“Yeah, but Eddie won’t let you eat bad guys in Seattle any more than he does here.”

It was at that moment that Venom popped out from your shoulder blade, miniature head scowling.

HE SHOULD!

“Wanna go get a bite to eat?” you interjected, effectively ending the conversation. “I’ll even let you drive, if you want.”

Venom grinned much too wide for his intentions to be anything but nefarious, so you quickly added, “No eating people.”

You turned fast and pointed to the pizza box sign in the kitchen. “Eddie might not be here, but that rule’s definitely still active while you’re in my body, okay?”

Venom, for lack of a better word with his gaping mouth full of super-sized fangs, pouted.

YOU ARE NO FUN!

I just don’t want to be involved in any murder, you wanted to say, but slimy, black, glittering goo was already wrapping and contorting around your middle. Venom was enveloping you, taking over.

It was a bit of an unpleasant sensation as Venom’s monstrous gooey head locked into place over where yours used to be, and rows of impressive fangs unfolded in your suddenly super-sized mouth. It felt like somebody had cracked an egg over your head and the yolk was dripping down your body. You weren’t sure if you’d ever get used to it. You had no idea how Eddie put up with it.

For how quickly his annoyance started, Venom seemed to get over it pretty quickly. He grinned and licked his lips.

I WOULD LIKE TO GO TO MCDONALDS.

//////

The room was shrouded in the quiet stillness of the night. The dim glow of a bedside lamp cast a warm pool of light on the walls, creating a cozy haven within the four corners of Eddie’s bedroom. You were in bed. Venom, for the first time that day, was quiet.

Under the soft blanket, your eyelids were growing heavy with the weight of the day's endeavours. You still missed Eddie, a lot, so much that your nightly FaceTime call almost wasn’t enough. Seeing his face on your laptop screen was just a further reminder of how far two states away felt, and how binded you felt to him since you met him — he pulled at you without even realizing it, like you’d been sewn together with invisible thread.

Hopefully he wouldn’t be in Seattle for too much longer.

The rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall seemed to synchronize with the slowing pace of your breath. As the minutes ticked away, you found yourself on the threshold of the dream world, caught between wakefulness and the gentle pull of slumber. Not even the distant murmur of passing cars was enough to distract you now.

Closing your eyes, you surrendered to the sensation of falling asleep, gently gliding down into the abyss of dreams. Eddie’s bedroom, once familiar and defined, now blurred at the edges, transforming into a surreal landscape of colours and shapes.

As you drifted further into the realms of slumber, a sensation of weightlessness enveloped you. It was as if you were floating on a sea of tranquility, carried away by the ebb and flow of your own breath. The boundaries between reality and imagination began to dissolve, and the world outside melted.

//////

Sometime between now and then, you’d ended up bent over in Eddie’s lap, on a couch that felt just like his couch, but was ambiguous enough that it could’ve been anywhere. Things were slightly blurry around the edges, surreal enough to have you breathless, but real enough that you weren’t questioning your surroundings.

“Holy shit,” Eddie breathed as he tilted his head, carefully examining the swelling ass on his lap. Your pussy was dripping, there was a dribble of arousal forming, but in all honesty, he was a little scared to touch you, he didn’t want to hurt you. “I don’t think I’m getting a finger in there, girl. Wow.”

“Luckily, I’m not that fragile,” you responded playfully as you arched your back for him. Eddie bit his lip as this only accentuated the curve of your ass.

“God,” he whispered as he ran a hand up your thigh: he was able to break them apart easily, and he pulled one leg over his lap, wedging you firmly between his legs.

Even though you were already soaking wet, Eddie’s fingers ran over your dripping slit for a moment, as if he were admiring the way your pussy fluttered at his touch in front of him.

God, you could just feel how wet you were, and you bit your lip, anticipating for Eddie to lean forward, and—

Y/N!!!

In an instant you’d jumped awake: you’d sprang to attention without really realizing how you’d done it, scrambling for the lamp. “What’s going on?”

Venom was protruding from your shoulderblade again, bouncing even more than normal, very clearly in extreme distress.

SWEET GIRL. WE ARE RECEIVING VISIONS.

You stifled your yawn with your hand. “V, do you mean, like - like a dream?”

WE ARE RECEIVING VISIONS! RECEIVING VISIONS OF EDDIE EATING YOU! THIS IS VERY SERIOUS! WE NEED TO KEEP YOU SAFE!

Your cheeks instantly warmed, and you froze, scrambling for something to say. “Oh - oh, shit, Venom - that - I’m so sorry, but I really don’t think that was what you think it was.”

HE WAS STRIKING YOU! Venom snapped.

Oh my god. He really saw all of that.

You reached for the water bottle on your nightstand. “V, you seriously don’t need to worry about this. It wasn’t real. It was a dream. Nothing bad will come from it."

Venom was, of course, still hysterical.

IT WAS A PROPHECY! THIS IS BAD!

I wouldn’t mind if it was a prophecy, you thought selfishly before you could stop yourself, but you shoved it down. “Everything’s alright, Venom. Okay? Everything's fine. Let’s just go back to bed.”

I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR CARING ABOUT YOU, Y/N.

You were already sliding back under the blanket. “I’m not asking you to, V. I appreciate it.”

You hesitated.

“Just, uh, next time you’re bonded to Eddie, please don’t tell him about this, okay? It could make him - I don't know, uncomfortable. You know, I - I don’t know how he’d react to the prophecy of him supposedly hurting me, that’s all. I don’t want to worry him.”

(You were hoping wildly that he would accept, and you and Venom would never talk about this again.)

In a move you’d never seen before, Venom raised one gloopy, black tentacle towards you, and recognizing the movement, you extended your pinky towards him. Your pinky and the black goo linked together for a moment, signifying your trust.

Venom grinned, now bouncing significantly less.

I NEVER BREAK A PINKY PROMISE, SWEET GIRL.

You raised your eyebrow.

I TRY NOT TO.

You were much too tired for any of this, you simply turned over to switch off the lamp and finally return to whatever remnants of that dream was left. “Okay then. Goodnight, V.”

//////

It was satisfying to have everything fall back into the natural order once Eddie returned home from Seattle. You returned to your own apartment on the opposite side of town, but of course visited frequently, and Eddie was grateful to be back in a low-stakes environment once more, with a snarky symbiote that would terrify anyone who would try to harm him. Seattle had been thrilling, and he'd recounted the adventure to you several times, but now he was back to something familiar.

The job was done. He was covered for the time being. Freelancing was difficult, but for now, everything would be okay.

In the intervening time, Venom talked about you, a lot. Ever since he met you, he’d taken to mentioning you. But ever since you’d agreed to split custody of the symbiote, and especially since Eddie had disappeared for Seattle, he was talking about you even more.

I AM WORRIED ABOUT Y/N, he said one day.

Eddie was idly clicking through TV channels, watching everything from the news to a police drama to a basketball game zoom past, finding none of them interesting. “Why?”

I DO NOT WANT ANY BAD OMENS TO BE FOLLOWING HER. WE NEED TO KEEP HER SAFE.

“What makes you say that?” he asked, a bit confused.

Venom suddenly popped out of his shoulder, howling.

SHE - SHE HAS -

Before Venom could get any actual words out, Eddie was lifted from the couch as the symbiote rose and slammed his head into the ceiling, denting it severely and sending bits of drywall raining down from the heavens like it was a form of self-punishment.

As quickly as it started, Eddie had been dropped on the couch, red in the face and gasping for air.

Venom hardly noticed: he seemed to be in extreme distress.

I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL!

Eddie put a hand to his throat, still sweaty and gasping, forcing an inhale. “V - what?”

Venom was beside himself, now.

Y/N IS RECEIVING VISIONS! VISIONS OF YOU!

"Visions? What do you mean, visions of me?" Eddie asked, his concern deepening. Suddenly, he wasn’t feeling half-strangled anymore. His mind was racing, his thoughts a jumble of confusion and worry. "What kind of visions? Is she in danger?" 

He couldn't fathom what could be causing you to have distressing dreams about him.

Right after Seattle? Right after he thought the work was finished?

I DO NOT KNOW. BUT WE MUST PROTECT HER.

Without waiting for further response, Venom oozed off Eddie's shoulder and began slithering around the room, agitated.

Eddie remained on the couch, trying to process this information. "If something's going on, then we need to talk to her, right? Figure out what's happening."

I AGREE. SHE IS PART OF US, AND WE WILL NOT LET ANY HARM BEFALL HER.

He paused, awkwardly.

BUT PLEASE LET HER KNOW I AM SORRY. I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU, EDDIE. SHE SAYS SHE DOES NOT WANT TO WORRY YOU. SHE DOES NOT SHARE THE SAME CONCERN I HAVE.

It didn’t matter: Eddie was already grabbing his phone and dialling your number, fingers tapping nervously against his screen.

After a few tense rings, you picked up.

“Hey, Eddie!”

"Hey, we need to talk," Eddie said urgently, glancing at Venom, who was now wrapping himself around the coffee table, sticky and pulsating, in deep despair.

Concern filled your voice. "Is everything okay?"

“Oh, I mean, yeah, right now it is,” he responded wildly, vaguely aiming for nonchalant. “I was just talking to V, you know, and he said something, and - I just kinda wanted to call, y’know, see if you were alright-”

“Oh, I'm fine,” you confirmed, but you still sounded confused. “I don’t have anything going on today, so I’m just spending some time to myself. What did V tell you?”

Across from Eddie, Venom moaned in despair, a mere gooey black glob of depression on his sitting room floor.

SWEET GIRL, I AM SORRY!

“He said you were getting some disturbing visions, and not gonna lie, it kinda freaked me out a bit,” Eddie said sheepishly, hoping you hadn’t heard that. “I just wanted to call and see if you were okay, that’s all. I know this is random. Sorry. Just, with the nature of the last case, y’know, up in Seattle-”

It didn’t take long before he realized he was rambling again about the Seattle case, so he stopped. “Sorry.”

"No, it's okay."

There was a pause on the other end of the line, then a sigh.

Of course this was happening.

“Eddie, there’s been a misunderstanding,” you said. “Just, look - do you mind coming over? I’ll explain everything to you once you’re here. This might be better in person.”

Eddie was on his feet in an instant. “Sure, yeah.”

//////

Eddie rushed through the city streets, a mixture of worry and curiosity gnawing at him. Venom was bonded to him again, because he’d rather not think about the consequences of a depressed Venom lingering around the apartment while he was out, and the symbiote seemed to writhe within him with impatience. Or maybe that was just the motorbike rumbling underneath him. Whichever it was, he felt nauseous.

The symbiote had a tendency to jump to conclusions, but Eddie definitely couldn't shake the unease that settled in his gut.

Upon arriving at your apartment, Eddie knocked hastily.

To his surprise, you opened the door with a small smile.

"Hey," you greeted, ushering him inside. "Thanks for coming over."

Eddie nodded, glancing around your living room as if expecting something unusual. Venom, still on edge, clung within him like a sentient black backpack.

He didn’t want to come off as too eager, or too worried, so he just shoved his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and hoped he looked casual despite the storm of questions brewing inside of him.

“So - what’s the deal?”

Deep inside of him, Venom was quivering with fright. As his gooey molecular form had to be closely intertwined with several of his most important organs right now, it was very hard not to notice the sensation.

You winced. “He’s just freaking out about nothing. There’s no bad omens or visions. I just had a dream, and you were in it. Simple stuff. Nothing to worry about.”

“It wasn’t a bad dream?” Eddie said, cautious.

You were definitely closer, now. “Actually, I’d say it was a pretty damn good dream.”

Eddie’s breath was caught in his throat. Out of everything that could’ve happened tonight, he definitely hadn’t been expecting…this.

He was a little confused, honestly. What was going on? The hairs on the back of his neck were raised, but he didn't feel as though he was in danger. On the contrary, he felt quite warm.

“Let me show you?” you offered.

"Okay," he bit out before he was conscious of making the decision, and you were stepping in front of him, and realizing, he closed his eyes on instinct--

The kiss that followed was absolutely dizzying.

There was something so particularly desperate about this: you were kissing, gasping against his mouth and pulling at his jacket, which made the two of you blindly scramble backwards into the apartment, messy and needy. The kiss quickly turned into a battle of control, with Eddie being the one to guide you forward, his hands on your hips. You bit his bottom lip in response, forcing him to open up and then the kiss was all about tongues, wet and sensitive.

You were on the couch when you finally broke apart, gasping.

"Baby," Eddie wheezed, his eyes darting across your face in disbelief, "I - what was that?"

"Is V with you?" you asked, instead of answering the question.

He was apprehensive now. "Yeah?"

"He needs to know I'm not in danger," you whispered, and you leaned forward to kiss him again.

It was much too chaste, and after you pulled away, Eddie was in mute astonishment for a moment.

His voice was scratchy when he spoke. "Disturbing visions, huh?"

You just smiled. "In my dream, we were on a couch, like this."

Eddie still couldn't believe this was happening. The anxiety in his gut on the way over had been completely forgotten now, blurring out of his memory, the future was an impossible thing, there was just this. This was all he had; this was all he wanted. "Were we, now?"

He didn't know what to do, but that didn't seem to matter, you were leading.

You nodded. "It was kinda hot."

"Kinda?" Eddie repeated dumbly, breathless. His voice sounded like a stranger's.

Before he could embarrass himself, Venom's voice rumbled within him, frustrated.

EDDIE, STOP BEING A PUSSY!

Wondering vaguely if this had been a trap all along, Eddie grabbed the nape of your neck and pulled you in for a kiss. Your mouths roved together, and he took the opportunity to pull you over, closer to him. The curve of your bare spine was warm from under your sweater. He kept his hand there, roaming carelessly, drifting up to the clasp of your bra.

You seemed to get what he was going for, and then suddenly you were straddling him, and with you on top of him, he could no longer ignore how interested his dick was in the proceedings.

Slightly, just slightly, you rolled your hips against his clothed crotch, and Eddie choked out a moan.

Oh, fuck. He could feel the sweat materializing and running down his back. This was better than good.

(Venom was definitely going to tease him about this later.)

"What happened next?" Eddie mumbled, looking up at you, his eyes blown black.

You smiled, then crossed your arms and peeled off your sweater. Eddie shifted his grip, holding you by the hips again, and you tossed your sweater elsewhere.

Venom was going absolutely insane from inside him: it felt like he was rumbling somewhere around his large intestine.

DO NOT MESS THIS UP, EDDIE!

Meanwhile, you were, of course, oblivious to the commentary in Eddie's mind.

"I mean," you said, and your voice wasn't smoky like it had been before. It was just curious, with a note of teasing, like this was an everyday conversation. "You ate me out."

He pressed a light kiss to your throat. "Then flip over, baby."

Inside his head, Venom seemed to be having some kind of meltdown. Maybe he had just realized what the dream was. Maybe he was jealous. Either way, he was rambling in Eddie's mind.

SWEET GIRL - SO FRAGILE - SO SWEET - SO DELICIOUS - I NEED TO TASTE -

[woso-dreamzzz]

Surgery III

Mapi Leon x Ingrid Engen x Child!Reader

Summary: Mami wants another one

Because of your superpower, Mami says that you make a lot of assumptions. She says it's because your brain makes lots of different connections that other people wouldn't. Sometimes you just assume things because of it.

You don't know what that means but you just nod and smile because Ingrid says that's what you need to do to get Mami to stop talking sometimes.

You're completely enamoured with the washing machine spinning when Ingrid swears. Or, you think she swears. Sometimes she says stuff in Norwegian that she tells you not to repeat because it's naughty so you assume those are swear words.

She doesn't swear a lot but you know to ignore it anyway, focussing on the way the washing machine spins. You'd tried to get in it once with Bagheera so you could both spin but Mami got angry at you and talked for ages for you smiled and nodded as your mind wandered to whether or not you could fit in Bagheera's cat tree.

"Cub," Ingrid groans and your name makes you turn.

She's holding one of your toy trucks. It's big and yellow and it's like the ones that the people building the apartments down the street use to move all their big rocks.

You smile toothily at Ingrid and reach your hand out for your toy.

"I asked you to clean up your mess a while ago, cub," She says, not giving your toy to you.

You frown. Ingrid did tell you to do that but you'd gotten distracted by Bagheera and then the rumble of the washing machine. You like the washing machine so you sat in front of it.

"My toy," You say.

"We need to clean up," Ingrid says," It's very messy."

You don't see the problem. Your things are strewn all over the room but you know where everything is so it shouldn't be a problem. But Ingrid likes things neat and tidy.

You think that's why Mami is dating her because Mami is messy and she needs someone to organise her things like how Ingrid helps you organise your thoughts.

You like Ingrid though and want to keep her happy because she's the boss in the house.

You get a bit distracted as you go to pick up your digger, making little engine noises with your mouth. You're not really sure how engine noises sound so you just mimic the sound of the washing machine instead.

You ram it into the wall a few times as Mami comes into the room.

She's holding Bagheera.

"Oh, please, Ingrid," Mami says," It won't be much trouble. Please, let's get another one."

You wonder what Mami is talking about. You put your truck away and reach for your lion cub, making it purr like the washing machine as you get out your magic wiggles.

You mull over Mami's words. You don't go to nursery a lot (Ingrid says that they don't accommodate your add with an h somewhere well so you only go when you absolutely have to) but the last time you went, there was a little boy who said that his mum begged his papa for another baby and she got one.

If that's what Mami is talking about, you don't like it. You don't want a new baby because if Mami gets a new baby then maybe you won't be lion cub anymore because the baby will be younger than you so they'll get your nickname.

You don't want a new nickname because you're Mami and Ingrid's cub.

Your thoughts make your magic wiggles a bit worse than better, especially when Mami mentions your name.

"It'd be good for y/n," She says," You've always said it was good for you when you were younger."

Ingrid makes a face. "That's different and you know it. We had a bigger house when I was younger. There's not enough space here."

You're glad Ingrid is speaking up because adults don't always listen to little kids. You know this because sometimes the adults at nursery don't like you running around when you have the magic wiggles even though Ingrid tells you it's the best way to get them out.

You hope Mami listens to Ingrid because you definitely don't want the new baby that Mami must want.

"Please, Ingrid," Mami says," We can make room! y/n would love it! It could share her bed."

You freeze instantly. Your brain screeches to a halt as you work out what Mami's just said.

You're up on your feet, throwing your lion cub to the ground and screeching. It's very high pitched and it makes your ears ring a little bit. You stamp your foot.

"No!" You say," Not in my bed!"

You don't want to share your bed anymore than you want to share your Mami and your Ingrid.

"No! No! No!" You cry.

You couldn't get your magic wiggles out earlier but they're all coming out now as you scream and cry as much as your little body will allow.

"Why?" Mami asks," You let Bagheera sleep in bed with you."

"My Bagheera!" You say through your tears.

Mami tries to go to soothe you but you shriek again and hide behind Ingrid because she doesn't want this new baby either and she won't betray you like Mami is.

"Si," Mami says," Your Bagheera. But you love Bagheera a lot."

You nod.

"Don't you want to have another friend to play with?"

You shake your head. "No! No new baby! Just me!"

Mami looks at you strangely. "I know," She says," You're the only baby we'll have. We know that."

It's your turn to look strange at Mami now and you peek out from behind Ingrid's leg to look at her. You sniffle. "Why're you askin' for another one if you know it's just me?"

Mami laughs slightly, a smiling tugging at her lips. "I'm sorry, cub. I should have been more clear."

"Mapi," Ingrid says warningly," No."

"Oh come on, it'll be good for her. It'll teach her responsibility."

You frown. "What will?"

"I've been thinking." Mami eases down to your height. "You're a big girl now and you love Bagheera a lot but she's technically Mami's, right?"

You nod.

"Well, how about we get you a kitten for yourself? Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Mapi!"

You nod quickly and Mami smiles.

"Well," She says," You just have to convince Ingrid. Because she's the boss, remember?"

[heliza24]

Thoughts about Domesticity, Carework, and the American Dream in episode 2.5 of Interview with the Vampire

I’ve been mulling over episode 2.5 a lot. There was so much to love in the episode (the incredible writing, the kitchen sink off Broadway play of it all, the chemistry between Luke, Jacob and Assad, the vulnerability in Eric’s performance). But my mind keeps circling a couple of themes, trying to piece them together. So as usual I’m here on tumblr to try to work it out. 

I keep coming back to the way that Armand was gendered in this episode. His big complaint to Louis was that he was “home picking lint off the sofa”. He arrives with “mop and misery” to clean up the mess. Louis insults him by calling him “the good nurse”. All those things are feminized. They’re also extremely of the era; these are Feminine Mystique, mid-century housewife type complaints. The wife’s job is to make the husband’s life smooth and never worry about her own happiness. Obviously in the 1970s we’re seeing this begin to change thanks to second wave feminism. We’re in the process of trying to ratify the ERA, Ms. magazine has just been founded, and things are shifting. The kind of cheery domestic American dream of the 1950s is definitely shifting, and we see this in the episode as well. Betty Hutton selling sewing machines competes with Spiro Agnew resigning on TV. The watergate scandal signified a loss of faith in American authority, a kind of parallel destruction of the country’s father figure (brought down by journalists, no less). The comfortable lie of domesticity, the “prison of empathy” that Armand has created around Louis is crumbling. Armand is boring but he’s also bored, like a housewife taking valium to get by. The whole episode is set in an apartment that reeks of divorce, according to Daniel, and we’re seeing it play out in real time. When Armand lashes out to hurt Louis, he does it not through direct violence, like Lestat, but by holding his failure as a father over him, telling him that Claudia  never loved him. That jab, in combination with the way he’s edited Louis’s memories (gaslighting, another time honored form of domestic abuse) is enough to get Louis to hurt himself. LIke a wife who is always outwardly obedient to her husband but spends her time exacting petty revenge against him for the way he takes her for granted, Armand’s methods are never violent. They are soft and subtle and targeted.

I have to thank @bluedalahorse for first alerting me to the way the crumbling domestic American dream is threaded through this episode. And after she mentioned it I saw it *everywhere*. 

Obviously there is a level of complexity here in the Loumand relationship that this metaphor cannot fully capture. For one thing, Armand is a man. He was turned in a time before modern understanding of gender and sexuality really solidified, so in some way it makes sense that he would be the most gender fluid of our main characters, but his position would be a lot different if he were a woman, even a woman vampire. And Armand is very powerful. His insecurities and crippling fear of being alone keep him from exercising this power and walking away in a way that would perhaps be healthier for both him and Louis. But he is not trapped economically or socially in the way a wife would have been in this era. (That being said, I get the sense that *something* about the way the fire happened in Paris has made Louis and Armand go to ground. Maybe there is an element of being “trapped together because of fear of exposure”. But even then, I think my point still stands.)

To drill down and become more specific, there’s an extra added layer to the way Armand is feminized in this episode. I’ve written a lot about disability in this show and also the way it approaches eugenics, and those things were very on my mind as I rewatched this episode. (To be fair, they are always on my mind when I watch anything. Being disabled will do that to you.) Anyway, the specific way that Armand casts himself in this episode is as a caregiver. He is a beleaguered, bitter caregiver to those weaker to him. I think you hear this especially when he describes to Louis what happened: “you said the worst things you ever said to me, and then you walked into the sun. And now you are a convalescent.” The absolute sneer on the word convalescent.  The absolute disdain for being put in this position again. The way he denies Louis the blood and keeps him out of his coffin for so long. The “final act of service” in calling Lestat. And then the tenderness laced with fear. Will he “be on suicide watch for the next 1000 years?”. 

Armand is fascinating to me because of the way he seems to instinctively reject people who remind him of his own past weaknesses. Those weaknesses are buried down deep in his characterization, but they’re there and they’re important. He was sick and wasting away when he was turned. And before that he was an abused sex worker. You can see the way he dismisses people in similar situations in the way he treats Daniel in this episode. He calls Daniel a “broken boy” when he’s talking to Louis. He casually rejects the idea that there might be any sort of truth captured in Daniel’s tapes. The interviews on those tapes are with a sex worker and gay veteran and his disabled refugee husband. All of these people are so close to Armand in so many ways. I even think this is why Armand comes down so hard on Claudia, and why he cannot abide the true empathy and love Louis has for her. Claudia was turned when her body was weak. Weaker and more disabled, so to speak, than Armand. But they are not dissimilar. But Louis loves Claudia anyway, and respects her strengths. No one ever shown the love Louis shows to Claudia to Armand. No one ever granted him true empathy. The only way he has been able to hold on to any love at all is to grovel, to manage, to care give. The only way he experiences care is to give it. Of course he’s broken, of course he’s bitter.

So now we come to Daniel. The broken boy who has suicidal ideation and a drug problem, things that make him imminently dismissable in Armand’s mind. But Daniel also has a drive, a passion for life, and a love for the people who slip through the cracks. Louis and Daniel definitely share this great affection for humanity, and it’s what allows them to connect in San Francisco and again in Dubai. And it’s what makes him inscrutable, and captivating, to Armand. Because there really is no greater act of service than telling somebody’s story. Daniel describes himself as a therapist ironically in Dubai, but what he’s doing is carework. It’s real empathy. And Armand doesn’t understand that. Armand doesn’t understand what someone is doing recording the stories of people who were just like him. A whole universe of possibilities opens in the moment when Armand almost starts telling Daniel his story. Out of all the ways Daniel tries to save himself, that little life line of empathy is what almost snags Armand. But then Armand clamps back down, realizes he’s staring into a “black hole”. He’s trying to insult Daniel when he says that, but to me it just sounds like he’s describing himself.

When Armand is lulling Daniel into death, the thing he chooses to describe to him is the American domestic fantasy. He describes it as a fate worse than death. He describes it as a boring trap. And he specifically casts Daniel in the masculine, straight role in that fantasy, with a wife “vacuuming on valium” who “counts down his thrusts”. In some ways Armand is painting his own relationship to Louis as the worst possible fate that Daniel could suffer. (And it makes me wonder– did Armand ever wonder if he would amount to anything? Does he think his life has any meaning at all, if you subtract the vampiric powers? Armand has never stopped to introspect like this, but I wonder what would happen if you forced him to.)

But Daniel is stubborn, and his desire to tell stories and empathize with people resists death. I love that he still defends himself, still claims that he’s “a bright young reporter with a point of view” and that that is worth something. Because it is.

When Louis asks Armand to save Daniel, Daniel unwittingly becomes a symbol of Louis and Armand’s continued marriage. He’s a wedding ring, a vows renewal. He’s emblematic of the continuation of failing vampiric domesticity. And when Louis tries to repair the damage Armand has wrought, he isn’t able to offer Daniel soothing words about his ability to find a spouse or raise children or understand love. Louis doesn’t understand those things, so how could he teach Daniel about them? But Louis has always understood stories and humanity, so he is able to gift Daniel his writing and his reporting back. 

I think you can interpret Daniel’s failed marriages and difficult relationship with his children in a lot of ways. We could say that he was always going to fail at these things, regardless of whether or not he met the vampires, because of the discontent that Armand sensed in him. Maybe the trauma that this aborted gay hookup with Louis created was enough to re-closet him, and send him down a dark road of unfulfilled straight relationships. Or maybe Armand’s words really did echo around in his head and pull him down as much as Louis’s lingered and sustained him over the years. Maybe we’ll get more answers about this as the show goes on, or maybe it will live in the ambiguous world of memory and manipulation the show so often plays in.

Regardless, I think this episode was a masterpiece, and the way it firmly established these themes about the failure of domesticity and the burden and joys of carework are going to really matter, I think, as we hit the brutal conclusion of the season. When emotions are at a breaking point, especially between Armand and Louis, they are going to resonate because they were grounded in this little claustrophobic wonder of an episode.

As a little postscript, I’m not quite sure where we’re going with Devil’s Minion after this episode, or if we’re even going there at all. If a DM timeline happened in the past, it would require additional editing of Daniel’s memory, and I’m not quite sure if that reveal would work structurally. (I would love to be proven wrong about this though, because I would love for young Daniel and Armand to have interacted more, for Assad and Luke’s chemistry if nothing else. They were so wonderful together.)  If it were to happen in Dubai, or to happen again Dubai, however… well that’s interesting. Because older Daniel is disabled. He’s even more firmly in this category of people that Armand is apt to dismiss. And if they were to get together, there would probably be some aspect of caregiving on Armand’s part. And there would also be some caregiving on Daniel’s part, in his ability to listen to Armand. So that has the potential to be really fascinating, and maybe mutually beneficial to both characters. But I think we have to cover a lot of ground before we would be able to get there.

[wuucchoo]

Understanding Tsumiki and Megumi's relationship

Hey there! It's me, Megumi's defense attorney - here once more to defend my boy.

I've been seeing A LOT of people saying they cannot sympathize with Megumi's grief because they don't know Tsumiki that well. And although I would argue that you don't need to know the person who died for you to sympathize with the one who was left behind - I do understand what these people mean, i don't agree with them! But I understand why they think this. And yes, we dont know Tsumiki.

However, we first need to understand why gege chose to present Tsumiki this way. On a surface level, she can only be seen as 'the thing that would cause Megumi's downfall' - we dont know her thoughts, her ambitions, her real personality, anything really - except for what Megumi says about her. A 'textbook good person'.

And that's because she is a character that we were only able to see through someone else's eyes. We don't know Tsumiki, because Megumi doesn't know Tsumiki.

BUT WAIT!! What do I mean by that?

Before that though, I would like to say first! This doesn't mean that Megumi's love for her is diminished by this. Just because he doesn't know her doesn't mean he doesn't love her. Megumi cares about her more than anyone in his life, and that's a fact!

Now we can proceed! What does this mean? Let's look at this page from ch 56: origin of obedience:

This was a case that they have been investigating, and it is pretty damn close to Megumi's and Tsumiki's old school. And yet, the thought that Tsumiki might have went to the bridge with her classmates never crossed his mind. He doesnt know that Tsumiki is someone capable of breaking the rules, going against curfew, and joining her friends to go to a haunted bridge in the dead of night. This boy Megumi thinks his sister is a damn saint.

He put Tsumiki on a pedestal, and it resulted in her turning into nothing but the mold of a good person Megumi uses to judge other people. If a person is not Tsumiki-shaped, then they're not worth saving. ((Luckily for Yuuji, he IS Tsumiki-shaped lmao. But anyway!))

Truth be told, I used to think it sucks that we never knew Tsumiki outside of what Megumi says. I never felt bad when she died, I felt bad that Megumi's sister died. I felt bad FOR Megumi.

And now that I actually think on it, THAT was the exact point. We dont NEED to know Tsumiki, we only needed to see her through Megumi's eyes - and through that, understand that Megumi doesn't really know her that well.

It is something that Megumi have to mull over. Why did he keep Tsumiki at an arm's length despite how much he cares for her? Why is it so hard for him to let people in? Why is asking someone for help so difficult for him?

ITS BECAUSE OF THAT MFKER TOJI!!!! IM TELLING YA'LL!! /hj

Look at the face he was making in Toji's memory. That's a kid who shows his emotions outright. My boy is pouting (つ╥﹏╥)つ. But when Gojo met him, Megumi has become a total idgafker (at least on the outside). And thats not only because Gojo was a stranger - coz thats how he looks like when he talks to Tsumiki too. It's because he became that way when Toji left.

Anyway, my point is, due to Megumi's abandonment issues - he never let anyone in. EVER. Not even Tsumiki. Megumi put a wall between him and other people - for his own protection. The one who came a little bit close into breaking that wall is Yuuji (and we are yet to see how that goes).

And this is why, we as the readers are all detached from Tsumiki's character. Because we saw her through Megumi's eyes, who loves her and cares about her very, very much - yet despite that he never let her get too close. (っ- ‸ - ς)

If you read up to here, whats up! Thank you for reading! Feel free to counter it or anything, Im happy to discuss!

((also something to add: Megumi cares so much about Tsumiki because she's the first one who actively chose to stay - amidst all the people who left.

this was inspired by a great megumi character analysis i found on twitter:

read it if you have time! its really good!

[hgfictionwriter]

Scattered

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: ADHD can be a lot to navigate, but Jessie embraces you, your ADHD and everything that comes with it.

A/N: Based on this request. This came a little too easily lol. Renews my empathy for my wife LOL. Bless her haha. And bless Jessie cause I bet she'd be just as thoughtful.

You lifted your head as motion in your periphery caught your eye. You took out your earbuds when you saw Jessie giving a quick wave from the doorway.

"Don't forget - we have to leave for dinner in an hour," she reminded you patiently. "I'm not saying you have to get ready now, we just need to be out the door at 5:30."

You looked at the clock and then gave her a nod. "Thank you."

She knew you were hyperfocused on something and if you had to abruptly stop you'd be in a foul mood. You'd learned that it helped when you had a wind-down period, so to speak.

You mapped out the time, making a mental note of when to pack up when you thought better of it and set a timer on your phone instead.

Before you knew it, your alarm went off, pulling you out of your trance. You sighed inwardly - you were on a roll and you didn't want to lose momentum. And it's not like you didn't want to go to dinner - you loved Sinc and Janine, but it still took effort for you to compartmentalize and get a move on.

You emerged from the office and looked around the apartment you shared with Jessie. She was sitting on the couch reading, but was dressed for dinner and you noted she had her things neatly laid out by the front door. She gave you a small smile and a wave.

"How'd it go?"

"Good," you said, somewhat distracted as you were trying to determine what you needed to do and in what order. "Thank you." You stopped yourself and returned her smile, now giving her your attention. "How's your book?"

"It's good, baby," she said with a light laugh before gesturing with a nod. "Go on. Get ready."

Jessie knew you well. She recognized what you were trying to do, but also understood that you needed to get sorted and moving if you were going to stay on schedule. She didn't take offense.

"Thanks," you said with a look that was both grateful and a bit shy. "I'll ask you more about it in the car."

Opening your closet, you already knew what you wanted to wear tonight, but a heavy frown fell across your face as you realized the shirt you had in mind was still in the laundry. You swore it was clean.

You sighed as you examined your other options. You eventually narrowed it down to two, your eyes darting back and forth several times. Would that shirt go with the pants you picked? Where were you going again for dinner? What did Jessie wear? Was it cold out? Jessie was in a t-shirt. But she's always warm. It was warm earlier. But it was going to be night, so... You eventually just tossed the one shirt back, forcing yourself to make a decision.

You checked the time and rushed into the bathroom to finish getting ready. You were doing your hair when your mind wandered and you remembered that you told Jessie earlier that you'd update the grocery list. You mulled it over. What were you doing this week? That would affect the list. You went to check your calendar but when you opened your phone you saw an email notification from this store you wanted to get Jessie a gift from.

You were putting in your shipping information when a brief rush of alarm went through you as you heard Jessie getting up. You looked at the time. Oh shit. Wait - what were you supposed to be doing?

A flurry of activity ensued as you worked to finish getting ready. You had to backtrack a couple of times because you'd just left something laying out in your wake. On a second pass through, you had to make a point of stopping to pick it up and put it away.

Before you and Jess moved in together, your apartment could've been described as organized chaos. Clusters of items here and there, but you knew where things were. For the most part. Jessie, however, was very neat and orderly. And you loved her desperately, so you tried to be very mindful of how you tended to leave mess and clutter. It took a little extra effort on your part, but if it helped Jessie feel more at ease and didn't make her feel like she had to pick up after you, it was absolutely worth it.

You rushed up to Jessie who was casually putting on her shoes at the front door. You were slightly out of breath from your zig-zagging through the apartment and she smiled at you affectionately.

"Right on time," she said with a nod of approval, gesturing to her watch and giving you a wink.

You exhaled. "Chaos."

She laughed and held out your jacket for you, prompting you to weave your arms through.

"Thank you," you said and leaned in to give her a quick kiss.

"Anytime," she said as she grabbed her things. She paused as you started patting your pockets and looking around.

"Phone?" She asked knowingly. You looked to her with a frown of concern and nodded. She rolled her eyes with a soft laugh and reached over to the side table. Your phone was on the corner.

"Oh, there it is," you said brightly with a laugh of your own. She reached around and tucked the phone into your back pocket, giving you a smirk and kissed your cheek as she pulled back.

"Oh, one last thing," you said, holding up your index finger. "I need to write it down before I forget." You quickly grabbed the notebook and fancy pen Jessie bought you previously (stationery was a past fixation of yours) and jotted down something on your to-do list. You clicked the pen and put the notebook aside, turning to her.

"Ready to go?" She asked, a smile still lingering.

You gave her a cheesy 'OK' gesture with your hand and winked. "All set."

"And you call me a dork," she joked.

"You love me."

"I certainly do."

There were many ways you knew Jessie loved you, but the fact that Jessie - who herself was very put together - navigated and embraced your quirks with patience and affection, told you she loved and understood you. Sure, you frustrated her now and then, but chances are those were times you were even more frustrated with yourself. She always talked things out with you or tried her best to make things easier. You adored and appreciated her for it.

She was one of the very few people you let your walls down around. The flurry she'd just witnessed is something most people would never see. At work - and previously in school - your reviews always said you were diligent, organized, and composed. And you were - but it came at a cost. By the time you got home every day, you used up all of your mental faculties to stay on top of things at work or with acquaintances. Home was your reprieve; you could recharge, relax and just be yourself.

As Jessie drove you both downtown, you began flipping through songs. Short, fleeting bursts of music filled the car before cutting to the next piece. While your attention was fixed on the console screen, you felt Jessie's eyes on you. "Which song are you looking for?"

"I'll know it when I hear it," you answered, eyes still transfixed on the changing song titles.

Jessie sighed wearily, but you spied the burgeoning smirk on her lips when you glanced over.

At dinner, your knee bounced incessantly up and down as you listened to Sinc and Janine speak. You hardly realized what you were doing until Jessie reached out a hand and gently placed it on your leg. You held her hand and played with her ring instead.

At one point, Sinc was sharing a story and it sparked a thought far off in your mind. You intermittently sat forward and back, waiting to speak - trying very conscientiously to not cut her off by interjecting. When you got your opening, you literally sat on the edge of your seat and began talking, waving your hands animatedly as you did.

You ended up on a couple of tangents, pausing momentarily with a frown before speaking. "Where was I going with this? Right. You mentioned Vancouver, which made me think of real estate, which led me to appliances. So Jessie and I..."

Jessie just chuckled and idly rubbed small circles on your lower back.

At some point, Jessie herself told an uncharacteristically convoluted story. Janine and Sinc were frowning at her in confusion, but you followed her train of thought easily. You reiterated it for her.

"I'm with you.” You gave her a charming smile. She turned to her teammates with a small, satisfied grin.

"She always gets me."

After dinner, the four of you went to meet up with other teammates at a bar. You hung out for a couple of hours, but between the socialization and a long week of meetings and masking, you felt your social battery drain. You started disassociating as people talked and you were having trouble focusing.

Jessie came by, sitting next to you and leaning in to be heard over the din of the crowd.

"You about ready to leave? I'm just about at my limit," she said. You gave her a grateful look.

"Are you sure? We don’t have to leave on account of me,” you tried to assure her. She grasped your hand, lacing your fingers together.

“Babe. I’m ready to go, too. Another 10 minutes? Then say bye to everyone?” She asked.

You leaned your head on her shoulder. “Thank you. I’m sorry I can’t handle more.” You felt her turn her head towards you.

“Baby. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

You lifted your head up to look at her. You’d had this conversation before but you still got in your head about it all and it was hard to stop.

“I just want to be the best partner for you. But sometimes I just get overwhelmed. And then I can’t function or interact the way I want to. And I probably talked too much at dinner. And about god knows what. I hope I didn’t embarrass you-”

Jessie held up her hands, gently coaxing you to stop.

“Baby. Please.” She smiled affectionately at you. “You’re doing it again,” she said with a soft laugh. “You were great tonight. You always are. I could never be embarrassed by you. I’m always so proud to have you with me.”

She tucked your hair behind your ear and went on. “We’re both at our limit. So, let’s finish up here. Can we cuddle when we get home?" She asked.

"That sounds amazing.”

A/N: Okay, y'all. This next part has nothing to do with Jflem, I just have to share this personal anecdote that just happened. The timing is too perfect considering I was writing this ADHD fic.

*Wife calls me while I'm driving and it sounds like she's crying*

"Are you okay???"

"Are you okay?"

"Huh?" My concern immediately shifts to confusion.

"Do you have everything you need in order to be successful today?" She asks in a very measured way.

Realization hits me immediately. I turn to the passenger seat and instead of seeing my work bag, I only see a pair of shoes. Shoes that I made great mental note of that morning to bring with me to the office. But no sign of my work bag that I packed that morning, alongside the idle musing of, "Wow, it would be so bad if I forgot my laptop."

By now, my wife is cackling. She wasn't crying at all when she called, she was trying her hardest not to laugh.

I'm 25 minutes into a 30 minute drive.

"Can you make it work without your bag somehow?" My wife asks amongst her ongoing laughter.

"It has my laptop. My pass. My wallet. Everything. Guess I'm coming back home!"

We're killing ourselves laughing at this point.

"Okay, well, I'll see you soon. Don't get pulled over!"

ADHD struggles are real, folks lol.

[ladykailitha]

Not All That Glitters is Gold Part 17

This is the last chapter of this story. I do have the sequel halfway written and it will be most of the way, if not all the way done before I post the first chapter.

It's called "Everything I Ever Wanted" and will be four chapters, each based on a part of Steve's new life I wanted to highlight. Retirement, Steve's charity, the bonding and mating, and the birth of their first child and the fallout with his parents.

I will still keep the Glitters tag list for the sequel. I wouldn't normally, but it's such a little thing, it's just easier that way. If you want to be taken off the list for the sequel, let me know.

Here is Steve's happily ever after. As it should be.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

****

Steve hated his heats before, but he loathed them now. Now he had an alpha he wanted to share it with, only they weren’t allowed to.

It was only a mini heat to clear out a minor faux bond and would barely last twenty four hours, but they would be the most miserable twenty four hours of his life and that included the twenty four hours after he learned he was infertile.

But Robin was the best handler in the business for a reason. The second his body temperature spiked, Xander and her got Eddie out and into her apartment, still in rut as he was.

Then she rebuilt Steve’s nest from scratch to perfection with the minor edition of Eddie’s handkerchief under his pillow.

The handkerchief plus, Eddie’s scent still sending out waves toward Steve’s apartment would help mitigate the absolute misery he would be in, but he still hated it.

Once all traces of the heat were out of his system, and his temperature going back to normal was Steve allowed visitors. Not even Robin was allowed inside his bedroom during his heats.

Though that was mainly because the poor omega was so pitiful and crying that a lot of handlers would be emotional wrecks afterwards.

Robin had made the mistake once when a heat came a week early due to some stress that was happening in Steve’s life and she was a sobbing mess the whole time he was in heat.

No one knew why the sight of an omega in heat drove betas to such an extreme emotional response, but the prevailing theory was that it was an evolutionary throw back to the pre-historic era so that betas would be moved to not take advantage of the omega in their most vulnerable time.

He showered and stepped out to his front room and smiled. Robin and Eddie were on the sofa waiting for him.

“Hey, princess,” Eddie murmured. “How are you feeling?”

Steve groaned and flopped down on the seat between the two of them. “Like I’ve been run over. The mini heats are the worst. Because you can’t prepare for them.”

“Especially since that was his first mini heat,” Robin commented dryly, “that automatically makes it worse.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “You don’t usually get mini heats?”

“Nope!” Steve said, popping the P. “Robin carefully curates my clients so that it’s never happened. I’ve experienced faux bonds before, the chemical bonding of scents instead of an actual bite bond. Those are common enough. But no, no mini heats for me.”

Eddie looked over at Robin who looked smug.

“Well that’s good then,” he said.

Steve nodded. He chewed on his lower lip and sighed. “I think we need to talk about the golden omega thing. It’s not possible, right?”

Robin and Eddie raised their eyebrows.

“Stevie,” Eddie said gently, “not only is it possible, it’s highly probable.”

Steve looked over at Robin and she nodded.

“Wait, what?”

“You don’t have to do anything about it now,” Robin said. “As long as you are a Starcourt escort you’ll spend your heats alone. And then if you want to get bonded to Eddie and have pups with him, walk away from the job and then mate.”

Steve went stock still as he mulled it over in his mind. Eddie and Robin exchanged concerned glances but stayed silent as Steve’s entire world view was shifted on its axis.

Starcourt had always treated Steve like he was special. It was one of the reasons his cherry popping was such a major event. His parents had sneered at the whole experience, but the agency had gone out of their way to make Steve feel safe in the process.

But to be a golden omega for real? And not just because Eddie wanted him to be special. Not that Eddie didn’t already think he was special, but this would cement how special Steve actually was.

He knew his parents would immediately come out of the woodwork to claim more money for being a golden omega, but it would also be the sweetest justice imaginable.

Because they could have gotten more from Steve’s omegahood and chose to throw him away like he didn’t matter. Only coming back when they needed more money.

“Explain it to me,” he whispered.

And they did. Robin leading the way with Eddie filling in spots where he thought Steve needed more clarity. When they were done Steve looked at Robin and said with tears in his eyes, “If I retire do I lose you?”

Robin’s lip quivered and she got up on her knees. She gently took Steve’s face in her hands. “No. Absolutely not. Yes, an omega escort has to be a handler’s top priority, but you are my best friend. My platonic soulmate, you’d have to murder me to get me to leave you. Do you understand?”

Steve nodded and then threw himself into her arms. Having to choose between the love of his life and his best friend would have been the hardest thing he would have ever had to do. But this made it easy.

They talked about it for a bit and ultimately it was decided Steve would retire when he turned thirty. It would give him a couple more years do a job he loved, but still give Eddie and him plenty of time to have pups.

“That’s a perfect solution,” Eddie agreed. “And I think the band will agree to a couple years break making music so we can all focus on our family lives.”

Steve’s omega chirped happily. Eddie chuckled and pulled him onto his lap. He nuzzled Steve’s scent gland and the omega chirped again.

“Look at you,” Robin said happily. “All content and comfortable. You just got every thing you could ever want, you lucky bastard.”

Steve grinned at her. “I am so blessed.”

Eddie blew a raspberry under Steve’s ear causing him to giggle.

“Eddie!” he protested, trying to push the alpha away, but Eddie did it again, this time on his cheek.

Soon they were wrestling and Steve ended up on the floor, looking up at a surprised Eddie.

“Rude,” Steve huffed as he got to his feet.

“Oops!”

Robin shook her head.

Eddie brought out Steve’s silly side and Steve let Eddie be himself. Apparently the universe knew what it was doing after all with these two.

****

The next three years passed by in a blur.

Chrissy had become the star Steve always knew she was. But of course, that meant her ex-boyfriend and her mother found out about her leaving the convent.

Steve was actually there to witness their faces, purple with rage showing up at some event she was at. The alpha actress she was with had to call security to get them removed.

Chrissy released a statement through the agency that spoke of her love of the job, the religious abuse her mother had put her through, and the love she thought was eternal with Jason turning to ash when she found out she couldn’t bear his children.

She spoke of the love that the sisters had shown her when her mother had dropped her off at the convent against the wishes of her father and her own. About how half of her cherry price went to those same sisters who had protected her from the wrath of her mother for years.

She spoke about how she found her people with Starcourt Services. How she had good friends, made good money, and how her father had supported her every step of the way. And how the other half of her cherry price would always be waiting for her if she ever wanted to leave. Something that after some serious soul searching she knew would not be for a long, long time.

Chrissy’s story burst open a scandal that had been the Church’s best kept secret, that a third of the omegas that came to them after learning they were infertile were brought there against their will by religious extremist parents not wanting their omega child to live their own lives.

Max and Lucas finally announced they were bonding after Lucas played his first game in the NBA as the first omega point guard for the Indiana Pacers, having won their law suit.

With Steve retiring, Robin was going to be Chrissy’s handler. Robin hadn’t lasted with Vickie due to them wanting different things out of life. Robin loved her job, but Vickie wanted more of her time to be focused just on her, something Robin wasn’t willing to do.

Tommy had been kicked out of the agency after he had a very public fight with his ex-girlfriend, Carol. He was supposed to be escorting Billy Hargrove but had found him in a bathroom with known omega starlet, Heather Holloway, his dick in her.

Carol had thrown it in his face that he couldn’t even get wandering Billy Hargrove to stay still long enough. Tommy had thrown hands and Starcourt had thrown him out.

Last Steve heard he was working as a pre-school teacher, barely making a tenth the amount he was at Starcourt. But he had found an alpha and they were happy together, satisfied for the first time in his life.

Jonathan was pregnant with Nancy and his second child. Steve was actually happy for them when they announced it.

Eddie’s band was topping the charts and had done a couple of tours. Steve had missed him, but with work keeping him busy, they were able to keep up a healthy communication.

Elinor and Gareth had decided to bond. Elinor knew that she would never reach the heights of Steve or Chrissy so when the last of her cherry price had been paid, she left the agency to be a rockstar’s wife.

Steve couldn’t wait to spend his first heat with Eddie. What was even better was the fact that Eddie’s rut had synced up with Steve’s heat and everyone knew to stay away for that week.

Their bonding and wedding ceremony was the talk of the town, Steve and Eddie surrounded by all their friends and loved ones. The whole Party was there.

Steve had taken preemptive measures against his parents, knowing that they would try and get more money from him, once Eddie and Steve announced that they had gotten pregnant.

He had a protective order ready to spring into affect the moment they tried anything. Lawyers on speed dial, and security on standby.

He had the life he had always dreamed of. A soulmate who would bond him and give him the pups he so desperately desired, who loved and cared for him like no one in his life could match. Robin came close. Because of course she did. Maybe not more or less than Eddie, but different.

And when that first little one came to loving and adoring parents, Steve knew that regardless if Dustin was omega, alpha, beta, or infertile Eddie and Steve would love him and support him no matter where he chose to go in life.

And that was the perfect ending to Steve’s story, he thought. Eddie couldn’t help but agree.

****

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[deusvervewrites]

The First Line

A lot of people out there will tell you that the first line of a novel is the most important. I've seen the wisdom that the first line must grab the readers attention, be some kind of a "hook" to draw them in deeper, or to tonally reflect the main themes. That the first line needs to throw the reader into the thick of it!

But how true is that really? It's been nagging me for a while now as someone who has started more fics than I've completed.

Out of curiosity, I grabbed a handful of my favorite novels and compiled their first lines.

"There are many legends about my mother." Daughter of the Moon Goddess, Sue Lynn Tan

This line doesn't really establish much about the plot of this book. Not the narrator's name, goal, conflict, or even the setting. We can make some inferences from the existence of legends around someone, but 'legendary' only narrows anything down because of the book's title. It is, however, indicative of the narration style and the novel's prose.

"Mary Jekyll stared down at her mother's coffin." The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter, Theodora Cross

This line puts us right into a scene. Some real In Medias Res. Except... it's not really an action scene. It's a somber affair. And from Mary's staring, it's safe to say she has some heavy thoughts on the matter.

We can also make some assumptions from the wording choice. Looking down at the coffin suggests that she is standing over it, so we know at once this takes place during the funeral.

Interestingly--and I'm going to break my soft rule of not addressing the rest of the text here--this line does not allude to the novel's framing device.

"The temperature of the room dropped fast." Bartimaeus: The Amulet of Samarkand, Jonathan Stroud

This is another opening that's setting a scene instead of trying to introduce us to the cast or conflict, or even to the setting. Why is it getting colder? We can infer from the fact that the temperature is dropping fast that this probably isn't a good thing or at least not a normal thing.

"I've seen Steelheart bleed." Steelheart, Brandon Sanderson

This line fascinates me. It says a lot and, at the same time, very little. We know that someone named Steelheart exists, obviously. However, the narrator is giving gravitas to the sight of them bleeding. So we've already learned that Steelheart doesn't bleed very often, and seeing it was worth remembering. But who Steelheart is and why the narrator cares? Nothing in this line indicates that.

"Kendra stared out the side window of the SUV, watching foliage blur past." Fablehaven, Brandon Mull

I think this is the most relatable opening line I have listed here, since I can instantly in my mind picture the expression on Kendra's face knowing nothing else about her, or where she's going. We can guess she's probably not happy to be going there since she's staring out the window with what I would assume to be boredom. That's some conflict there. But, like, extremely minor conflict.

"The tired old carriage, pulled by two tired old horses, rumbled onto the wharf, its creaky wheels bumpety-bumping on the uneven planks, waking Peter from his restless slumber." Peter and the Starcatchers, Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson

Well this sentence rambled on a bit didn't it? But it's very evocative. It tells us very little about the story (beyond Peter's name) but it sets the scene beautifully. Not only is it evocative of the scenery, but the time period (from the horse-drawn carriage) and the tone as well. We also know that Peter wasn't sleeping very well, which indicates that he's either anxious about something or that sleeping in this carriage wasn't very easy. Or both.

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit." J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

This is the kind of line that would get me murdered by a lot of writing advice that I've seen over the years. This line tells you next to nothing, not even whether or not its weird for hobbits to live in holes. What this line does do is ease us into the narration style that Tolkien employs, which is generally slow and descriptive.

Okay...?

So what was the point of all of that?

Well, this experiment has solidified my opinion on something. As I said, I've been having thoughts about opening lines, but I think that the actual first line of the book is not as important as the first scene of the book. None of these lines out of context are that good. Sure, The Hobbit is iconic, but that's not because that line itself is phenomenal. It's practically "Once Upon A Time."

But it works for the scene.

The first scene is far more interesting to me than the first line. I'm not so impatient that if the first line fails to captivate me I'll toss the book aside. And I know that's true for other people because H. Bomberguy posted a four-hour video on plagiarism and we all watched it.

What this means, I think, is that we don't need to treat our audience as if we're in an arms race against their dwindling attention spans as if we'll lose them forever to TikTok if the first sentence isn't the pinnacle of literature.

People will give a work a chance. That's what the summary is for; to tell people if they'll like it so they can know to give it a try.

If you were afraid to write, or to share your writing, because you didn't think the first line was good enough... I don't think that matters. I think that people won't hate it. Won't turn up their noses in disgust.

[lumilasi]

Since I've been updating one of my bleach fics more recently, I felt the once-in-a-blue-moon urge to draw something from it.....decision I VERY MUCH regretted lmao, because what I picked was SUPER difficult to draw, and I had to take some creative liberty with these designs, lessening the detail in them (Didn't even have a proper ref for Oni-Ichigo to begin with...).

Still, I managed to finish this at least. Fanart isn't really my thing anymore that much so these will be rare, even if I am writing semi-regularly.

The scene this bases on from Jack of All Hollows:

(Context, this is a memory viewed by "main" Ichigo of the story, Oni-Ichigo is a separate person)

Grimmjow eventually shifts, now just sitting on the bridge ledge properly, dangling his bare feet over the water. His companion follows his example, though chooses to keep his legs towards the bridge instead, sitting the other way around. He was still glancing at Grimmjow, and Ichigo could tell that color on his demon doppleganger’s face wasn’t just alcohol. He looked like there was something he was trying to say, but was hesitating.

Ichigo knew what it was.

Clearly, Grimmjow was aware of his companion mulling over something, as the blunet eventually snorts and turns to look at Oni Ichigo annoyed.

"What? Spill it, I can literally hear yer overthinkin’ shit again.”

"You can share memories, not read minds.”

"The gears in your brain are so rusty they make shit ton of noise, Kurosaki. Hard not to hear all that.”

The ginger demon laughs at that, his reaction seemingly confusing his companion a little, the point he now grabs Oni Ichigo’s arm and threatens to throw him into the river if he didn’t explain what was so damn funny now. His companion eventually manages to stop laughing with a wheeze, now looking back at the pouty looking blunet, who was clearly still confused about his behavior.

"Yer way too drunk huh; never knew your stubborn ass was this lightweight.”

"Yeah, guess I am.”

Watching the pair, Ichigo felt uneasy now, suddenly having a feeling this wouldn’t end well for his twin. Obviously, this Ichigo had died, but beyond that…

Suddenly, his twin leans closer, clearly catching Grimmjow off-guard. The kiss doesn’t last long, and once his twin pulls back he had gone completely red, now averting his gaze and rubbing his neck sheepishly. Grimmjow had gone completely stiff, just like he’d done that night at that other bridge.

"S-sorry. I….uh.”

He seems to struggle for a moment to decide what to say, still avoiding the blue eyes staring at him. Grimmjow still hadn’t moved an inch, as if his brain had short circuited and he was struggling to process what just happened.

"….You know. You’re not as bad as I thought when we first met. And lately, I don’t know. I just….I like hanging out with you, when you’re not trying to kill me.”

Oni Ichigo chuckles sheepishly, still avoiding his gaze. Grimmjow now turns his head away, his face still unreadable, though the shock seemed to have faded. The atmosphere around the pair had shifted from the easygoing drunkedness to something much more tense and awkward, though Ichigo wasn’t sure if he was reading it that way, or if the emotion was attached to the memory itself.

"I’ve been thinking about that a lot. And….I-I don’t think its…”

Oni Ichigo swallows down hard now, finally daring to look up at Grimmjow. Seeing that uneasy look in his eyes, oh fuck he was scared too. It had clearly taken his twin a lot to bring this up, and so far, neither could tell what Grimmjow was thinking.

"I don’t think it’s friendly affection I’m feeling.”

Silence.

[listofwhyyouloveher]

Could we get some angst like where fem!reader and dallas get into an argument and/or go on a break but they can’t stand being away from each other and do the whole confession and kiss in the rain cliche?

Mwah mwah chefs kiss love this i dont know how to cw so uhh fem reader?? use of nickname doll??? fight??? idk bro

It was raining. Hard. The soft pitter-patter of the droplets on the window reminds you of reality everytime you start drifting away.

“I don’t understand, who do you take me for?! An idiot?!” You seethed, knuckles turning white from clenching them too hard. “No, you’re not an idiot, you’re a bitch, that’s what you are.” Dally says pointing at you. He was equally as mad, although maybe for a less justified reason. You had seen him hanging around some red-head. It started as a simple question, but one thing led to another and now it was a full blown argument. “You don’t let me have any fun! No parties, no chicks, nuthin’!” He angrily stated. “We’re in a relationship, Dal! There is no chicks! No parties! Oh my God! Can you use your brain for like a minute and think about how I feel!” You say, putting your face in your hands. Dallas gives you a look before shaking his head. 

“That’s it, we’re done.” He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a cancer stick and a lighter. “Good riddance, toxic asshole” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest as he leaves.

You replay the fight in your mind, turning it over like a coin in your hand. Was I in the wrong? You think to yourself. Hell no. You affirmed yourself, if Dallas didn’t show up with an apology, you didn’t need it anyways. There’s a sharp crack against your window that startles you out of your self assurance. Another crack makes you look up. On the third crack you catch what it is. A pebble being thrown at the window. You look down at your lawn trying to catch a glimpse of who would be stupid enough to throw pebbles at your window during a storm. Dallas. Of course. Dallas was stupid enough. You quickly open the window, forcing it open quickly. A pebble wizzes by your face and you shoot Dally an unimpressed look. “What do you want, Dallas,” You say. Please, don’t stand in the rain, you’ll catch a cold. Your mind betrays you, you still care about him. “Let’s talk.” He say, voice slightly shaking, although you don’t know if its because of the cold or because he hasn’t seen you in forever. “You’re not stepping foot into my house while you're soaking wet.” His lips quirk up at that, there’s the girl he knows. “Would you like to come down then?” You make a show of mulling it over, although you already know the answer. The jacket is already in your hand by the time you're down the stairs and reaching for your keys. You quickly slip it on and rush out of the house. The rain soaks you before you’ve even reached Dal, the wind picking up speed and the rain turning into heavier droplets. He stands taller than you, by quite a bit actually, but his shoulders sag when you reach him. There’s a few seconds of silence, except for the torrent of rain that was battering both you and him. “I miss you.” He says, quietly. “That’s sweet.” There was a pause before Dally took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry. I messed up big time.” “You seem to do that a lot” You interject. He gives you a small chuckle. “Yeah, I guess I do. But I’m so sorry, really. It’s kind of hard adjusting to a ‘relationship’. I just thought that I could get a head start if..” his voice goes quiet, “if you ever decided to leave me like Sylvia. I thought I could prove I was a tuff guy. I’m not tuff, not really. Especially when it comes to you. I really hate that I’m turning soft or whatever..” He looked up at you, his usually harsh eyes were unexpectedly innocent. “Dallas, you can’t keep thinking that I’m going to morph into Sylvia. I’m not Sylvia, you’ve got to understand, you can’t keep letting this front our relationship.” You hugged your jacket tighter around you. “You’re right, you're not Sylvia, you’re so much more, so much better than she will ever be.” and before you could react his hands moved to your face and he pulled you in. The kiss was, dare I say, “magical”, resparking feelings that you had tried to put out for the whole time Dally was missing from your life. You pulled away quickly. “Please, doll, I’m so sorry for everything, I’m ready to be a better boyfriend, don’t pull away from me.” He nearly sobs. You roll your eyes and take your keys from out of your jacket pocket. “As much as I love the ‘kiss in the rain’ cliche, it’s fucking cold out here Dal,” you smile at him, taking his hand. He wraps his arm around your neck pulling you in again. His hand slips into yours and you realize how warm it is in his arms.

[yourheart-inmyhands]

hiii! I’m currently crying because I really like the Tsaritsa but there’s no content of her! Like anywhere!! I know that you are very busy but please bear with me😅 I’m sorry if I’m bothering you btw 😢

what if Yandere!Tsaritsa has a lover who loves to cause trouble/hates the Fatui. It’s to the point she can’t maintain them, do you think she’ll ask her harbingers for help? Like have the 9th bribe them with money in order to keep them away from going on with their evil villain schemes 😈(just that they’re trapped in the middle of nowhere and don’t have much freedom..) or just have a harbinger check up on the Tsaritsa s’ s/o each once in a while

by the way, I feel like I may come here a lot (I normally do, but I don’t request) so can I be 👛 anon? 🙏🙏 thank you for reading, I know this was trashy (it’s my first time requesting 😭)

Hi i'm sorry it took a bit to get to this, i was worried about not being able to do good enough and wanted to make sure i could do your request justice! if you're still interested in being an anon for my blog i would love to have you :D

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behavior, implied being held against ones will, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

While she isn’t against asking the Harbingers to get you under control, she prefers to handle you herself. The Tsaritsa knew what kind of responsibilities she’d be taking on when deciding she wanted you, and thus she tries to avoid relying on them. At first, she tried to mitigate any negative feelings between you and her Harbingers by having you attend meetings with her, Fatui-related events, and other such things, but she has quickly learned it’s better to leave you in your shared bedroom and deal with any attitude when she returns home. 

During times when she has to be away from Zapolyarny palace or outside of Snezhnaya and can’t bring you, she’ll task one of her dear Harbingers with your care. It’s usually Pantalone or Capitano, Pierro is generally too busy, Pucinella is too easy on you, and the others have quirks of their own that she doesn’t hold high faith in. 

Long, slim fingers brush through the strands of your hair, tucking back any loose pieces and fixing the parting as she mulls over a thought in her mind. The Tsaritsa knows she has only another hour or so with you before she has to set off again, leaving you in the capable hands of her dear Harbinger Capitano. She hasn’t yet broken the news to you, knowing you’ll pitch a fit that is better dealt with by giving you space to lash out. She’d chosen Capitano this time specifically because you’d been extra testy lately, plotting escapes and trying to fight some of the lower-ranked guards posted outside your door. The large man could take quite a beating and she was hoping he’d be up for the challenge of your care. “My sweet Snowball, I’ve neglected to inform you until this point, but I have to leave Snezhnaya for some time. A minor god has appeared in a nearby nation and sparked trouble, Celestia has requested I step in to assist in handling them.” Her fingers pause in your hair for a moment before pulling away, allowing you a moment to process what she has told you. 

As much as she hates to do it, she often lies to you about where she’s going or why she has to be out of Snezhnaya. The Tsaritsa knows of your dislike for the Fatui and their motives, but she cannot simply halt her plan because you are heartbroken over it. Thus, she often will tell you false information, playing the part of the darling Archon that Celestia expects of her, but only in front of you.

Really, she rarely leaves Snezhnaya, often traveling to different parts of her nation to handle difficult tasks that the calloused hands of her Harbingers are not capable of. She has on occasion ventured out of the controlled walls of her nation, daring to visit neighboring ones in search of valuable items or materials, but she prefers to stay in Snezhnaya. While she may be powerful and well capable of defending herself, she sleeps easier at night knowing that you are within the same nation as her.

[edoro]

thinking about this post again, and what malewifesband points out in the reblogs about Mithrun's violence towards Thistle vs his violence towards the shadow governor

i hadn't made that comparison myself before, but it truly is such a striking difference, and because Thistle is my special little guy i've been mulling over it

i think it's interesting that Mithrun's behavior towards Thistle is not only violent and frightening but outright cruel in a way that he isn't even with Marcille

(which is not to say that he isn't violent, frightening, and shitty to her - the whole bit where he catches her out in a lie and then the canaries sit around shit-talking her mom and the fact that she's a half-elf is very bigoted and unpleasant!)

he scares the absolute shit out of Marcille, but his violence is very single-minded and directed. first, he's trying to get the books off her. then, he's trying to kill her.

with Thistle... it almost feels like Mithrun is toying with him. take a chunk out of his arm so he drops the book. take a chunk out of his thigh when he tries to run and grab it. chokeslam him to the ground and get on top of him and say The Cruelest Possible Shit to him after tormenting him physically like a cat with a bird.

now of course, we can justify. he didn't want to risk killing Thistle outright (although then we get into the questionable territory of "would being sent to the surface kill him anyway?" since he says the dungeon lord has their lifespan extended by the dungeon, and that teleporting Thistle to the surface would confirm if he is or isn't the dungeon lord), or he can't be so precise when he isn't able to touch someone and he's using his magic on them from a distance, especially with his lack of depth perception or whatever, you know

he hurts Thistle, who comes across like someone who's not used to experiencing a lot of physical pain, and then he tells him that the person he's dedicated himself to is dead, there's no point to continuing, and that the most cherished person in his life wished for his death

i do think that Mithrun, on some level, genuinely does want to prevent other people from suffering his fate, whether that means preventing them from becoming the dungeon lord in the first place or convincing them to give it up before they're devoured and left alive but empty. however, i also think (thanks to talking with @schniggles) that on a much deeper, more viscerally subconscious level, he wants to be eaten, and when those two desires come into conflict, the desire to die is stronger and results in what can at best be described as half-assery and at worst is outright self-sabotage

he tells Thistle there's no point to what he's doing and that it's time for him to free himself. charitably, one can imagine that he sees his words as the equivalent of a brisk slap to the face to snap Thistle out of his dungeon lord hysteria. but the thing about Mithrun is that it's not that he doesn't understand social conventions or other people's feelings, he just doesn't care

he didn't suddenly forget the concept of being nice or being cruel, or what it means to hurt someone's feelings. he just doesn't give a shit. it's not important to him. he lacks the desire to even make the effort for appearance's sake.

it's not like he doesn't know that telling the Melinis' elf slave that Delgal is dead, he never said what Thistle says he did and Thistle just misunderstood, and that Delgal wished for Thistle's death is going to fuck Thistle up. he doesn't care about how badly it hurts and he either hopes that the pain will make Thistle stop resisting or that hurting and tormenting Thistle this way will drive him to summon the demon. possibly (probably) both.

i don't really have much of a thesis statement here, just i guess an exploration of my thoughts... Mithrun is deeply cruel to Thistle and it's quite easy to imagine that part of this is because he knows Thistle has no status and no powerful friends, that he feels no need to even pretend to treat Thistle as a person... one could also easily imagine that it's because he's trying to provoke Thistle into summoning the demon, and one could ALSO easily imagine that there's an element of self-loathing to it, that in a sense he's punishing Thistle for his own past

[stylezxsilvermoon]

but I'd bet we'd have really good bed chem » chris s. smut

"come right on me, I mean camaraderie! see it in my mind let's fulfill the prophecy"

» chris smut one-shot based off of the storyline of "bed chem" by sabrina carpenter (in my opinion) (this may or may not turn into a series! let me know if you want more!)

wc: 4k (got carried away, oopsie)

warnings: 18+ content, youtuber relationships, oral (fem receiving), porn with plot, no use of y/n, poc friendly, fem pronouns, kinda teasing chris?? play mocking during sex, mutual friends of the triplets mentioned (they have a minor role)

this is my first chris smut (so pls be kind! feedback would be really nice!) and also I literally don't have Instagram so if the details were off use your imagination ☺️

a/n: yall i haven't written smut in literally forever, i'm more of a fantasy creative story writer so this is SO out of the realms of the comfort zone, but i'm all about pushing boundaries of my imagination so here ya go!

excerpt: sierra dawson is a bit of an it-girl, she's a popular youtuber/vlogger, all of her fans are all up in her dm's and comments begging her to meet chris sturniolo, and when an influencer party comes up hosted by one of their mutual friends, well she just has no reason to ignore the call from the universe pulling them together, right?

Sierra

The silence in the room is getting loud. And I mean, really loud, most likely because I never expected this to happen. I've just uploaded my latest video addressing the drama. It looks like any other youtuber's video, I'm sat on my bed, cross legged and looking into the camera. The video has been up for exactly 10 minutes and the comments are already flooding with more fuel to the fire. My editor and I are rewatching the video to watch for any mistakes or parts that may need to be addressed later, a deep frown settles across her face.

"I think you may need another video on this." She nods "I mean, everyone wants you together, it's crazy." She nods once more, almost coming to the final verdict that my youtube career might as well be screwed the fuck over because of a man. One singular man, Chris Sturniolo.

"I don't understand why everyone is so hooked on this! I mean, I've never even seen the guy in person." I say, my attention split between her puzzled face and ghosting over Chris' "follow" button on Instagram.

"It's fate, I suppose." She shrugs "But hey, your friend Jake is hosting a party at his and roommate's place, you should go." She says "Maybe that'll put all the rumors to rest, the triplets already said they were going." She says, and I stare, dumbfounded.

"Oh yeah, sure, because the answer to putting the rumors to rest is, to show up to a party I'm sure he'll be at?" I question, as if sniffing out the bullshit in her tone.

"Sierra, if you have to meet him, you might as well be at a place where you’ll know he’ll be, so everyone can stop fantasizing about it happening." She explains calmly "But it's up to you, don't just do it because of the fans."

I hear my own voice echo off of the laptop we're watching the video/live reacting to comments on.

"Guys, I'm not dating Chris Sturniolo, so quit asking!" I say in an exasperated tone, but it's all jokes, there's no real bite in my voice.

I'm mulling over my answer to alot of things at the moment, whether or not I will follow him back and become mutual, announce I'm going to this party, because I just know we're going to be doing content. And I'll be seen with him, which means edits, lots and lots of edits.

And I have to admit, he's not that bad looking either, and he seems like a nice guy, along with his brothers they seem pretty chill. So is it really lose/lose like I'm painting it out to be?

Either way, I bite the bullet and smash that follow button and watch my screen light up with comments within the next few hours. If I'm going to be in a fire-flamed flambe of chaos, I wanna be the one holding the kerosene. I click on Instagram and post my weekly photo dump and tap my screen with my nail as I figure out what I want to caption it. But I decide to just ride this train of chaos while it's here. Because regardless of the complications of attending the party, I am still excited to go, so I might as well show that.

see you there @.jakewebber, ready to party hard and see all of our friends, including someone...special👀

I sit and watch as the comment section quickly is filled with conspiracy theories on what my 'cryptic' message could have meant. And what the implications are on the current situation, especially all of the drama surrounding me. But, I see something that absolutely shocks me, after I scroll for a hot second, I see Chris comment that same eyeball emoji I had in the post with a question mark.

And my whole world just explodes in that very moment, but obviously I try to keep it cool, even in the midst of every social platform I'm on ripping their hair out at the notion of a single reply. But regardless, all of it is to implode ten-fold once the event actually comes around. I scroll through Chris' Instagram for a few moments. Based on this and the content I've seen of him and his brothers, he seems like a pretty nice guy. And god, is he attractive, very attractive, I try to keep a tiny smile from creeping onto my face at the notion of being deemed 'fated' to him by our fans and the prospect of meeting him later on today.

I'm starting to like the idea, like a lot.

Chris

Who is Sierra Dawson, you may ask?

Well, according to sturniolo nation she's 'meant to be' with me and we should definitely start dating 'just because they say so'. Which is a bit bullshit. But regardless, us meeting was inevitable, and besides, I've been seeing her everywhere. It's almost like a sign, which i almost hate in a way.

I'm walking into the party at Jake's when I see Sierra walking in as soon as get finished greeting Jake. And woah, she's even more beautiful in person, dark skin and bouncy curls, a total knockout.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the famous vlog girlie with the bad rep?" I tease as I walk over, and it's as if I automatically register in her mind as who I'm known as, which is good.

"Sierra," She says as she gives me a brief hug, which I respond to in kind as I give her a little side hug.

"So what's your reason for being here? The comments?" She teases a little bluntly, which I quickly begin to like.

"Pretty much, and Jake, and we're doing some content together obviously which is really exciting, I do enjoy a good collab." I nod as I look down at her, she's a bit shorter than me, but not abnormally so.

"Is that so? A collab you say, so would you say that we are..collabing?" She asks, teasing a bit more, which causes a smirk to break out like wildfire across my face, and a bit of a blush as a chaser.

Oh boy, great.

"At this moment, I'd say so." I nod, attempting to be at least a little professional, this is our first time meeting. "I'm a big fan of your work, you always come up with good content ideas, I'd love to be in one of your videos one day." I remark, already loving the energy between us.

"Oh my gosh shut up!" She laughs "I'm a huge fan of you too, you and your brothers are hilarious." She nods, her eyes lighting up at the notion.

It only takes a moment to see that for once, in this case, the fans were actually right.

"You free next week?" We both end up saying in unison, before laughing.

"I do recall you following me on insta, but I don't remember receiving a dm." She says snarky tone, almost as if she's almost unwilling to admit the fans were right.

"Oh, you don't recall, huh?" I repeat as I pull out my phone and flash her account in her face, pointing to the following button. Not willing to give in first either.

After a very comfortable stand-off, she ends up breaking and pulling out her phone and texting me on insta, little did I know, those three little words could mean so much more later on.

‘hey, wanna collab?’

“There, it’s official.” I say proudly, as I hold my phone in my hand as I replied ‘sure, since it seems like the fans want it so much. 😊’

Sierra

As the party went on, the large group of influencers began posting content for the party so each of our individual fanbases knew their faves were linking up and collaborating. The news spread like wildfire, as expected.

Nothing too crazy, Jake did his longform content, as did I. Did a couple TikTok’s, until I had an idea just then.

“Do a tiktok with me?” I asked Chris, which was sitting to my right on the big couch we all were sitting on, as he nodded.

“Course,” he said, scooting closer so we could both get in frame together, which caused me to be hyper-aware of the closeness the entire time. I could feel the fabric of his clothes against mine, which was a jean dress with a black chunky heel, and for Chris, a blue fresh love hoodie and some jeans. After I got over my irrational fear of closeness born out of this situation, we lip sang to ‘bed chem’ by Sabrina Carpenter.

After I’d posted it on my account, he looked at me with a peculiar look. “Don’t you think that song is a little…presumable?” He jokes, but with a little serious tint in his tone.

“Maybe?” I teased “I just felt like it matched the vibe of the situation, is it bad?” I ask, biting back the urge to just rage-quit and delete it before anyone could see, there was still time until-

Too late, my phone began buzzing in my hand, great.

“You’re in for a lot more conversations about us then.” He chuckled warmly as his palm found it’s home on my knee, at the end of my dress, just where the hem was. I fought the urge to melt into it.

I couldn’t explain it, everything felt so natural with him. It was almost as if fate really was pushing us together. And by fate, I mean the fans, but maybe…I assume because we’ve just both been seeing each other everywhere for a bit.

I look down at his palm, large and a little veiny and then back to his eyes, he looked for reassurance if the move was okay before I nodded discreetly and relaxed against the sofa.

“I’ve been seeing you everywhere lately, it’s safe to say you’re on my mind a lot.” He says after a moment of silence.

“Me too, seems like we can’t keep each other’s name out of our mouths, huh?” I say, which causes him to sport a lopsided prideful smirk. Insinuating a dirty joke in my words when there really wasn’t. But, if you squinted…. there perhaps was.

“I was not talking about that, I’m not saying you’re in my mouth- I mean.” I say before rolling my eyes at my mis-speak

“Sure,” he nods cooly “Let’s believe that Sierra.” He smirks again

“Don’t go marching off to the fans saying that shit.” I laughed a little, before we both begin laughing at the nightmare that’d cause.

“’Course not.” He nods, very serious but very toned down, the party isn’t all that highbrow. Very low brow and mellow, just some drinking and talking between mutual friends, and maybe…. more?

“Can you imagine? God we’d never hear the end of it.” I nod, as I unconsciously get closer, the heat of the moment drawing us closer.

As the party goes on, Chris and I continue to get a little too close for comfort, and the urge to do something with him grows closer by the second.

Until, finally, I break, shattering like glass.

“You think the fans were…right?” I gulp, speaking over the loud music, and Chris is only a hair away, staying close to me the entire party. Every time he gets up to talk to someone or his brothers, he returns right back to me. And despite everything, it sends a small thrill through me, like lightning.

God, I can’t actually want him, right?

“Hm?” He teases, inching closer and throwing an arm over my shoulder for extra affect, gazing at me with those blue eyes of his as I stare back, dumbfounded.

“They were…right, I think.” I say, as his face all of a sudden goes soft “You think so?” He says gently, before it twists into a mischievous smile.

God, he’s doing all the right things, all the right moves, it’s crazy. Is this what my fans were talking about? If so, thank the heavens above for all of this drama

⁕

The party goes on for a bit longer, until everyone gets a little too sloshed and it begins dying down. After several down-low comments to Chris, we’re both feeling a little wound up to say the least. Or at least I’m feeling the heat, more than anything. And the worst part is it’s the middle of August! Everyone’s heading out, as I make my way out, as I see Chris over to the side, waiting for me at the door.

It's almost already been established something is going down tonight, I just don’t know what. But I have a feeling I won’t be able to walk tomorrow, I’ll just have to do a sitting-down video for sure. Can’t let the fans see me limping…or maybe…no! Absolutely not! But the temptation is so strong, I can hardly resist it. All I know is that little devil on my shoulder looks a lot like Chris.

I’ve barely known him for a few hours, and I already want to jump his bones? I’m all about taking risks today, might as well keep the streak strong, right? But this isn’t just a follow or a text, this is real. But people take risks all the time? After all, as they say, don’t take the flight if it isn’t worth the fall.

“Hey.” He says, breathing smoothly into my ear as he walks me to my car, since it’s dusk dark outside.

“Hey.” I reply back, turning to face him, as his eyes are going haywire, up and down, behind me, to my face, to my tits. 3 key words; what. the. fuck.

“So, were the fans, right?” He asks as we stand against my car, watching everyone wave us goodbye as Matt stands dangling the keys to their van on his finger. From what I’m gathered Nick and Chris don’t know how to drive, and they certainly all came together.

“Yeah, they were, I think, we should try something. Don’t you agree?” I tease “After all, giving the audience what they want can’t be so wrong, right?” I smile slyly as I look him up and down, as he nods curtly. The unspoken conversation between us clear as day.

“I’m heading home with Sierra Matt, I’ll see you later.” Chris says to Matt as he gives him an odd look, overly uninterested because he’s sure he’ll be hearing it all later.

“Okay…” Matt says as he walks away and hops in the van, as he watches it drive away.

No going back now.

⁕

We make it there, and I give Chris a home-tour while I’m still at my wits. It takes the edge off of things and gives us some time to figure out whether this is about to happen or not. I head up to my bedroom, the place where I mainly film videos, the bed sheets are a plum purple and there’s a dream board above the bed. But, I’m sure he’s already seen it on his phone if he’s heard of me.

“Woah, behind the scenes.” He nods “Sierra’s studio…” he muses out loud, as I pat the bed, and he gives me a peculiar look.

“If you say so.” He says a tiny glint of excitement in his eyes.

The night turns into midnight, and our minds begin weary, and we begin to blur the line between proving the fans wrong and falling harder, for sure. In fact, I’m confused why we hadn’t met earlier, even.

We lay on my bed, our feet dangling off the bed, talking and talking for hours to get to know each other, even after the party. Everything still feels so much, I still feel the buzz of music in my ears, the pounce of the pavement against my heels.

“They were right.” He sighs, running a hand through his brown short hair, his earrings glittering as he moves his head in the slightest.

“Why do they always have to be right!” I groan, but there’s no real bite in my voice, just like the video, just like tonight.

I keep making choices I know will not lead to the rumors to an early grave, in fact it’s really leading them to a euphoric beginning of an everlasting life. Each comment, edit and rumor pumping life into the veins of something between us.

Usually, fans drive people apart, but tonight? I couldn’t feel closer.

“You like that they were right.” He smirks as he turns to me, looking me up and down.

“I do, I really do.” I nod, inching closer, as his hands clasp my waist all of a sudden, and the world’s feeling smaller than usual. The bed, that usually cascades for what feels like miles feels small and cramped with him in it.

“And I was right, wasn’t I?” He smirks, his lips creeping closer to my ear, pressing a kiss there.

“Is this really about being right?” I ask, gasping at the feeling.

“You started this.” He reminds me, maintaining that power over me, and I feel the sparks of chemistry in my veins like tiny fireworks.

“Did not.” I pout like a child, but there’s no use, I’m already wrong.

His head turns to me, stopping to make sure this is really what I want, seeing if I’ll defy him, defy what the fans had said about us. About what would happen.

“Oh, Sierra, you so did.” He nods, teasing further and further, reaching for the hem of my dress, testing the waters gently while remaining on the absolute edge of defying the fates that’s been set before us.

“Now what happens next, is up to you and me, not the fans.” He hums

“Of course I know that.” I scoff, pulling him closer gently and running my hands through his hair as he closes his eyes in bliss, and I take the chance of his eyes being closed as a sign of risks being taken.

I kiss him, he kisses back ever so gently, his lips coasting against mine like a California shoreline. Fizzing and bubbling with chemistry.

“Fuck,” he hisses, pulling me closer by my thigh, effectively parting my thighs as he slips between them. We kiss for a bit longer before he takes control, getting on top of me quickly, it’s like a flip switched between us.

“Gonna fuck you now, okay with that?” He smirks between kisses

“Yeah.” I breathe heavily as he nods against my lips, taking a moment to breathe as his lips drift down my neck as his hand finds my clothed core, rubbing over it like a mad man.

I yelp and attempt to close my legs, but he keeps them open.

“Ah-ah.” He tuts as he pulls away, I instantly sit up before I watch him take off his shirt, his toned body casting shadows against the dim-lit room. The crevices of his collarbones being explored by the shadows entices me.

In this time, he ever so gently gets my dress off, the Jean dress coasting on a smooth zipper, his hands down my back, grabbing and feeling until it’s off, and I’m in my bra and underwear. He whistles at the sight.

“Beautiful.” He smiles softly, continuing to rub my core as he returns to my parted legs. He dives in for a deep kiss, tongue and all. His hands are all over, mine are all over him too, all in his hair as I grind against his fingers.

“If you want me to do anything, gotta get these off hm?” He teases as I lift my hips as they come flying off within a split second.

“Good, very good, oh Sierra.” He muses, his voice breaking with emotion “the fans were right, I am going to destroy that cunt” he says, before I can even blink his lips are all over my clit as I gasp and my legs shake.

“Chris-“ I cry out, grabbing at the sheets as he works his fingers between my folds, stuffing them in my mouth before pushing them in my pussy.

“Mhm, yeah, what were you saying in that video?” He says between kissing and licking my pussy. “Guys I don’t like chris sturniolo!” He mocks as I’m eating it up like a flame does oxygen, his fingers working on my clit now as he’s circling around my hole, stars in my eyes.

“I didn’t say it like that.” I whine as his other hand goes up and shoves his fingers in my mouth.

“I don’t even know him! We could never happen!” he mocks again, a teasing glint in his voice “Oh Sierra, look at you eat those words.” He says, his voice muffled by my pussy as he eats it like he’s never ate in his entire life. His tongue flat licking over my pussy like a starved man, sucking from my clit like he’s desperate for air. And when I start getting close, he keeps up the teasing as I grasp at his hair.

“That’s it sweetheart, mhm, come for me.” He slurs, not pulling away until I’m over the edge.

“God you’re so! Gah!” I cry as I come apart on his tounge “Chris! Fuck!” I shout as I collapse against the bed, the orgasm wracking through me like a freight train. Chris keeps on rubbing on my clit like a mad man.

“Satisfied?” he asks, smug as ever. “You came all over my face, you’re gonna pay for that.” He remarks with that glint in his eye.

It’s clear to me that we’ve only just begun.

⁕

Chris

Within minutes I’m balls-deep inside Sierra Dawson. Which is something I never thought would be happening. Regardless, we’re both moaning like crazy people, fans be forgotten, bed shaking, earth quaking.

“H-holy shit.” I say, bottoming out again and again as I hit that special spot.

“Don’t say it.” She grits, still holding onto that bit of bratty attitude and resistance despite coming multiple times underneath me.

“Oh?” I tease as I suddenly stop “Say what?” I ask curiously, hands above my head in a uncaring manner, smug. “Could do this all day sweetheart.” I smirk

“Alright fine,” she remarks, and within a second I’m already back to it, and her back is arched off the bed. Kissing the hollows in her clammy skin that’s somehow frosty and flaming hot all at once. Must be that hot-n-cold attitude.

“Yeah…” I coo in her ear, biting it gently, slowing down just a bit. “Because I’m not inside of you right now, mhm?” I tease, tilting my head to meet her lips gently, kissing her slowly.

“Put some respect on my name next time you make one of those little videos huh?” I say in a snarky tone as I look in her little Bambi eyes, fluttering and filled with those fucked-out tears.

“God.” She says, throwing her head back, hiding her gaze from me as I snap her head right back, grabbing her pretty little face.

“Look at me sweet thing.” I say gently. We’re both close and we know it too, and within seconds I’m bursting inside of her and she’s coming perfectly on my cock, eyes wide and looking at me.

⁕

Sierra

After everything, and I mean everything I never expected that to happen. Or maybe I did, maybe it’s all in my head...

The next morning after Chris and I shower, roll around in bed talking each other’s ears off, we decide to film a Tiktok, maybe just because of the controversy, or we just wanna be little bitches to our fans.

We lip-sing to bed-chem once again, but this time a different line different time.

“Come right on me! I mean camaraderie!” I lip synch while looking in his eyes as he sings the back vocals “bet we’d have really good bed chem.” 

And later on, after it’s posted, it’s clear the rumors is thriving and creating new theories on things we never even thought possible, or even true. Pregnancy, rebounds, covering for what happened last night at the party, since we were seen together and even more ridiculous fantasies.

But we see a special comment that catches our eye “they’re so cute together!”

We each like that one on our insta after we post some pictures together from my bed. Which can only mean one thing, to the fans at least, a collab. They may never know what we’re up too, and it’s a mystery for me too, even. I never expected things to take such a turn. But alas, Chris’ shirtless body in my bed sort of makes all the rumors worth it, even if they’re only just rumors.

Or are they?

a/n: yall I totally got carried away with this PLOT lord, but I had really alot of fun writing it, let me know if yall want a part 2? I feel like it's sort of open ended so I could do another sabrina carpenter short n sweet song one-shot for Sierra and Chris or make it a series? Whatever yall want to be honest! I like both ideas, I think I'd do Juno next if I did, but a part 2 to this storyline sounds kinda cool!

also yall sorry the smut was so bad😭 I never write smut like literally ever so that part of it was kind of short and I know that's the main part but I've literally never written chris before so I was freaking on writing him kinda accurately so..yeah

all the love, stylezxsilvermoon! (I'll add this to my masterlist later on and make a series masterlist if you guys end up wanting it!) I'll make a tag list for anyone that wants notifs for the next part if I make one? Umm I'm new to this LMFAO, comments, reblogs and likes are totally appreciated!

[feyhunter78]

Pink Pastels Pt 16

Description: Miguel and Gabi have a much needed talk.

Part 17

Miguel and Gabi walk you back next door. He watches as you give her a tight hug, whispering platitudes in her ear before you let go. You then brush your lips across her forehead and giving him a small smile, then the door to your apartment is closed and Gabi starts to cry once more.

Miguel scoops her up, cradling her to his chest, her arms wrapped around his neck, her tears wetting his shirt as she sobs. He misses holding her like this, when she was a baby she clung to him constantly, crying if he put her down for even a second. Then she grew older and became so curious about everything, she wanted to be on the ground, have the freedom to run and play and explore the world around her.

He’s proud of her for being so courageous, so adventurous it reminds him of a younger him, before he became Spiderman, before he lost his original universe and searched the multiverse desperately for a new one. But he’s forgotten that courage takes a lot of strength, and obviously Gabi has been running on empty for a while.

“Gabi, Mija, I’m sorry.” He says, settling on their couch and squeezing her tightly.

“Why are you sorry?” She asks, looking up at him with those big round eyes.

He can’t explain how much he loves his daughter; he’s tried a million times to verbalize the depth of his emotions and finds he always comes up short. So he’s come to the conclusion that it’s simple. He loves her beyond words.

“I didn’t notice you heard my call with your mother, and then I continued to fail to see how it hurt you, and I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have had to feel all that sadness on your own.” He shifts her, so she’s facing him, and brushes back the hair from her face, it’s like his mother’s hair. He’ll have to call her, ask her how she’s doing, if she wants to see him and Gabi sometime soon.

She snuggles into him, her tears slowly drying. “It’s okay, Papá, I’m strong.”

He swallows hard, tears pricking at the back of his eyes.

“Mijo you shouldn’t have done that, you know your father; he gets angry.”

“But Mamá it’s not fair he shouldn’t treat you like that.”

“It’s better me than you or Gabriel, I’m strong Miguel, I can take it.”

He fears he’s going to wretch, and he takes a deep breath counting ten things he can see, he can feel, hear, smell, until his heart rate has slowed, and the nausea is gone.

“You are strong, but you are also little—”

She goes to protest, and he stops her with a playfully stern look that makes her giggle.

“You are my baby girl, my daughter, you are not alone, you will never be alone, you don’t have to be strong all by yourself, especially not when you’re sad.”

Gabi mulls over his words, fidgeting with the little watch he made for her. “But I want to be strong like you.”

“Mija, I am strong because of you. Because I love you so very much, and I want to make sure the world is safe for you.” He tells her, praying that she understands how earnestly he’s speaking.

She nods and wraps her arms around as much of his torso as she can. “I love you, Papá, and I promise I’ll tell you next time I’m sad.”

He returns her hug, resting his chin on the crown of her head. “I love you more than you can imagine, Mija.”

He makes a mental note to make sure Lyla saves this video file, adding it to the hundreds upon hundreds of clips he has saved of Gabi. He’ll never have enough, never get enough time with her, but here in this moment he feels like everything he’s done, everything he’s been through and suffered was worth it.

“I think Ms. Y/N saw my superpowers.” Gabi says hesitantly, her voice muffled by his chest.

He pulls back, scanning her face. “What?”

“I got mad, and I threw my doll, and now the wall is broken.” She says as she leads him into her room.

Miguel’s mind is turning, churning, roiling. You know he’s Spiderman, as of last night, but he hasn’t been able to go through it with you to explain what happened, or to tell you how Gabi might have developed a lesser version of his abilities and was just now coming into her powers.

He inspects the wall. It’s a small dent, but clearly in the shape of a doll. He can fix it, he’s picked up a number of skills during his time in the multiverse, but he isn’t sure how you’re going to react to the truth.

“What did Ms. Y/N say when this happened?” He asks carefully, running calculations in his head of how much damage control he was going to have to do. You’re a reader, he knows this. Maybe he’ll hack into your laptop and see what kind of books you like. Buy you a first edition of your favorite book, or see if there’s any erotica, you’re fond of that he can read and put to good use to distract you.

Gabi’s brushing her doll Carmen’s hair in rapid jerky strokes, something she did when she was nervous. “Nothing, she just kept playing with me. Well…she seemed a little…tomada por sorpresa.” Trsl: take/taken by surprise.

He smiled at her lapse into Spanish. Gabi spoke both languages fluently, but he noticed a year or so ago that she’d picked up a quirk from him. They both tended to fall back on his first language whenever they were nervous or overwhelmed with emotions.

“Ah, well, Ms. Y/N just found out I was Spiderman last night.” He’s taking a gamble, telling her this. He knows Gabi can keep a secret, she’s been keeping theirs since she was little, but now that you’re involved, he isn’t sure how she’s going to react.

Gabi nods. “Well, that’s okay because you’re going to get married, and married people have to keep each other’s secrets, that’s what Auntie Monica said.”

His half-sister would say something like that…

“She is right, married people do keep each other’s secrets, but Gabi, Ms. Y/N have only known each other for a little while now, not even half a year. Most people like to know each other for at least a year before they get married.”

Gabi sets down her doll and her lips tick to one side in thought. “Yeah, I guess you should wait until the year is done, because if you marry her, then they might move me out of her class. Kids don’t get to be in their mom’s classes, apparently, it’s called a conflict of interest, but I just think it’s because then they’ll be the favorite. But I’m already Ms. Y/N’s favorite, so I don’t think it’ll be any different.”

Miguel laughs, he doesn’t mean to, but that’s his daughter, thinking three steps ahead while still attempting to get what she wants.

“It’s true!” Gabi pouts. “She’s still wearing the necklace we gave her!”

Yes, you are, and he is so thankful for that fact.

“You’re right, Mija, she is.”

She gives him a smug, satisfied ‘I told you so’ smile and begins to clean up her toys. “I bet if you asked her on a date, she’d say yes.”

“I think Ms. Y/N would say yes, but her job is very important to her, so she wouldn’t agree to go out with me until the year was finished.”

“So, you’ll just have to go on secret dates like in the telenovelas, me and Tia Margo watch.” Gabi says, nodding her head knowingly, as if this had been his plan all along, and she was just now catching on.

He pinches the bridge of his nose, a half exasperated, half amused smile on his face. “No more telenovelas for you, they’re giving you too many crazy ideas.”

Gabi throws herself into his lap dramatically. “No Papá, but I need them to live, they’re the only thing keeping my secret half-sister maybe actually my cousin alive.”

He laughs again and shakes his head, scooping her up and holding her above his head, making her giggle. “But I do not, for I am the evil tio and I want your half-sister maybe cousin gone, so I can steal her inheritance.”

“¡Monstruo!” Gabi gasps, her face an exaggerated look of horror and surprise. Trsl: You monster!

“Yes, I am an evil monster who says now it is time to go to bed, so you can wake up and have a good day at school tomorrow.”

Gabi wrinkles her nose, but nods, and he sets her back down. She throws her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. “I love you, Papá.”

He hugs her back. “I love you too, Mija.”

If you haven't seen my answer to an ask, I will be going on vacay for 10 daysss, but I'll be back and will be picking this fic up once I return, so don't worry! I'm not abandoning it!!!!

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