#so embrace the cringe 2020

[wickjump]

ok im gonna try using uwu and owo and TvT and other such text emojis starting tomorrow because i feel like it’s a good idea. i post about wanting to go back to that era but i never do. so now im going to and i heavily encourage you do the same. if you are annoyed by this im so sorry but cringe and free applies to all cringe actually

[ryemackerel]

im gonna say this loud and clear: what happened to embracing cringiness man! why are people in this day and age, in the year of our lord 2023, still making fun of people or avoiding people because of harmless interests?

if someone likes a certain fandom and theyre interacting with it in a way thats completely harmless, why do we feel the urge to cut them off and avoid em?

ill say this. yes im a loser that likes dsmp in 2023. its incredibly cringe ik LMAO, but i just like it for the sake of the stories i can come up with it. and if you like dsmp too, cool. so keep enjoying it, as long as you can be nice about it and respect others, then youre cool.

it pains me that people still feel ashamed to express the things they like. yes, dsmp is long from its golden era, but there’s no issue if you still like drawing the characters and talking about them. theres no harm in simply enjoying what it is for what it is.

personally, whenever i draw fanart for dsmp, its always with the characters in mind. i have a HUGE interest in character design and worldbuilding, and ive had a strong attachment to developing my own personal AUs for these guys since 2020 and since the canon storyline ended. yes, i do feel like i weird out people for holding an interest that should’ve died down long ago, but i’ll keep doing it if it makes me happy. if an interest makes you happy, go for it.

[who-is-page]

BEASTPUNK: Being Unabashedly Animal

A subculture/term for anyone who identifies as partially or entirely as a nonhuman creature in an integral or intrinsic way, regardless of the origin or perceived nature of their identity, and who:

Embraces and celebrates their nonhumanity and animality, and (if applicable) the overlap and entanglement between one's human and nonhuman identity

Embraces abnormal instincts and behaviors related to their own and others' nonhumanity, so long as no active harm is done to another non-consenting individual or any real life animal

Interacts with their nonhumanity and displays it in socially unconventional or undesirable ways, and accepts and celebrates others doing so as well

Revels in the history of animal-people and beast-folk in all ways known: from the alterhuman community, from mythology, and from cultural or spiritual backgrounds relevant to the person in question

Throws respectability politics into the dumpster, lights it on fire, and dances around the burning corpse of the god "Cringe" in the moonlight

Is, unabashedly and genuinely, animal

This term is meant to be a reclamation of animalistic nonhuman identity, especially regarding individuals who may experience their nonhumanity in eccentric, "feral," or otherwise socially unacceptable or even stigmatized ways. Beastpunk is also open to endels, clinical lycanthropes, and others who experience nonhumanity in ways related to their mental health and physical bodies, although it is not open to self-identified p-shifters and p-shifter packs. Anyone who's ever been told that their animality is "too much," or that they're taking their identity as a nonhuman creature "too seriously," or who has lost previous words/groups they've used to define themself due to terminological drift, KFF appropriation and re-defining, or others gatekeeping their identity's authenticity is welcome to take up this term. Fictherians and fictional nonhuman creatures are also included in beastpunk, which is meant to be explicitly pro-fictionkin and fiction-based identities; theriomythics, folcintera, and mythkin are also included in beastpunk. Any and all nonhuman creatures, regardless of source or origin, are included.

This term is inspired by Anomalymon's original coining of kinpunk.

🚫 This term is not meant for KFF and other forms of anti-otherkin, anti-fictionkin, and similar. This term is not meant for self-identified "zootherians," "zoosexuals," "zetas," and similar. 🚫

Edit (09/28/22): Because someone asked me to clarify this: KFFers as mentioned in the above are meant to refer to individuals who redefine otherkin and related terms to just mean liking something a lot, rather than identifying as anything. They have roots in Tumblr anti-otherkin communities of the mid-2010's and in meme/fandom culture both, resulting in typically ableist and ahistorical language aimed towards otherkin: claims that otherkin are "taking it too seriously," or "just crazy," that otherkin and therians identities are "just a Tumblr thing," and that 'kins' should be based around fandom ideas of characters and morals.

Arguably, KFF are also largely responsible for the fictionkin community crash of the late 2010's due to their interactions in fictionkin community spaces, muddling of language within, and their insistences on bringing fandom wank in as a gatekeeping cudgel to ostracize others (the most common of such being the idea of what fictotypes are "moral and allowed" versus on what were "problematic and made you an evil person," which inspired no less than three separate OtherCon lectures from 2020-2022.)

[tightjeansjavi]

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ : Part 6 ‘hoax’

A/N: I had a serious writers block with this chapter and I’m honestly so relieved that it’s done. I kept getting torn on what I wanted to happen but went with my gut. (Thank god I did)

Summary: Joel and Tess return to the QZ with the medicine for your fever. Upon their arrival, you notice an obvious dynamic shift between them. You know something has happened, but you refuse to bring it up until Joel suddenly acts cold towards you. One night, fed up, you call him out on it.

~word count : 3.1k~

Warnings: age gap (m/c is 28) angst, love triangle, pining, implicit smut, jealousy, lots of swearing, feelings of guilt, anger, mildly mean ! joel, mixed feelings, slight gas-lighting, mention of guns/knives, mild violence (+18) minors dni !

Songs for this chapter :

“hoax” by Taylor Swift

“A Dangerous Thing” by AURORA

“Poison & Wine” by The Civil Wars

“Devil’s Advocate” by The Neighbourhood

“Cringe” by Matt Maeson

________________

October 2020: Bill and Franks

Joel sleeps soundlessly through the night despite the guilt on his conscience. His body was exhausted, and the warmth of the covers, mixed with Tess’s familiar form pressed against his chest was enough to send him off to the dream world.

It isn’t till the early morning hours that his eyes slowly flutter open. There’s a low rumble of thunder in the distance. His eyes slowly adjust to the low light as he listens to the light pattering of raindrops hitting the roof. His arm that was draped across Tess’s waist was beginning to tingle, he didn’t have the energy in him to move it.

Joel stares up at the ceiling, his sleep fogged thoughts drifting to you. He thought of the possibility that the fever had taken you out. That he would return home to find your cold, lifeless, curled up form on the couch. That there was always the possibility that he would be too late. If this were to be true, he’d never be able to forgive himself. He was pulled from his dark thoughts when he felt Tess stir in his embrace and he let out a deep sigh. Perhaps the impending storm brewing outside was his karma for giving into Tess last night. Then again, why did it matter? You weren’t his, and he wasn’t yours so had he really done anything wrong?

He waited till Tess had stirred again. All he could muster out in that moment was, “‘mornin.”

Tess slowly rolled over then so her back was no longer facing his chest and she let out a low hum. Opening her eyes and gently brushing his hair from his face. A soft smile spread across her face and for a moment, she forgot where they were. She forgot about about the fucked up world outside this little oasis. Most importantly, she forgot about you. “Good morning..” She drawled out, her voice still thick with sleep.

Joel soon after found himself drinking in her moans again. He’d say that she started it. She kissed him, she straddled his hips. In reality, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Joel insinuated the entire thing. His hand had found her bare thigh, grasping her soft skin as he rubbed soothing circles with his thumb, kneading the flesh. He coaxed her into his lap. Leaving lazy, soft kisses between her breasts, along her collar bone. Tracing his way up her neckline and jaw. Leaving light marks in his wake before he had reached her lips. He barely kissed her at first, teasing her with a light nip before she was grasping the back of his head, fingers threaded through his hair and kissing him properly. He found himself buried to the hilt in her warmth once more, giving into his guilty desires. Even after he had finished, he stayed enveloped in her warmth till he was soft and his breaths were no longer shallow.

Morning sex should have been the last thing on Joel’s mind but he had already given into his desires last night. Why not just enjoy it for a little longer and let the shame of his actions come later, if at all. Joel was only human after all. His mind was forcing him to be rational, for once.

Joel and Tess emerged from the guest room an hour later, dressed and ready to make the trek back home. Frank was the first to notice the dynamic shift between the pair when they had come down to the kitchen to say their goodbyes. Joel’s hand was resting along the curve of Tess’s spine and she had a noticeable glow to her face. A glow that Frank knew All too well.

“You sure you don’t want to wait out the storm? We don’t mind, right Bill?” He gave his lover a light kick to the ankle then when he didn’t immediately respond. Bill gave him a warning look as he muttered. “Yeah sure, how about we ask them to stay indefinitely while we’re at it.”

Joel shook his head then, taking a sip of his mug of coffee. The mug was homemade, and decorated in different species of wildflowers delicately painted on the smooth ceramic. Your favorite wildflower was Aster. Delicate purple petals resembling daisies, but they were even more beautiful. Joel subconsciously found himself brushing his thumb across the flower, as a gentle reminder to him of your existence.

“We appreciate the hospitality greatly, but we gotta get movin.”

Goodbyes were said all too quickly. Frank insisted that they take some food for the road. Homemade buttery, soft biscuits and wild honey. Joel had promised the couple that he would radio them as soon as they returned to the QZ. The sound of the perimeter fence closing behind them as the pair walked further and further from the oasis, was all too familiar. The rain was softly pelting down around them and Joel found himself momentarily glancing back to the town, hoping that their friends would stay safe. The possibility of Bill and Frank not making it was always looming. Death was hard to escape entirely in this world. It was always there in the shadows. Lurking, waiting to appear. Waiting to grab ahold of its next victim and yank them down into the depths of the cold earth. Death was inevitable, yes but Joel was going to evade it for as long as he could.

Tess was full of chatter during their journey home and Joel found himself half listening at times. His thoughts were drifting to you again. Clouding his senses and mind. The small burlap sack in his weathered jacket pocket, was beginning to feel like a ton of fucking bricks, pulling him down.

By noon the rain had significantly picked up and the pair were forced to seek shelter at the midway point; the abandoned gas station. They sat side by side, sharing a couple of the biscuits that had gone cold by now, but they were still a delicacy. Joel made sure to save a few for you, gently wrapping them back up and tucked them away in his bag. While Tess stayed in the inner shelter of the gas station, Joel stood outside under the rusted roof. He slowly pulled out the burlap sack that Frank had given him and untied it. First he saw the herbal teas, the medicine and finally, Frank's painting of you. His breath stilled as his fingers lightly brushed against the rough canvas. There you were, beautiful, and alive. Frank spared no detail in his painting despite the size of the canvas. It was undeniably you, smiling and full of life in a field of wildflowers. Joel could feel his tears begin to well as he wiped at his nose with the pad of his thumb, clearing his throat. When he felt a stray tear roll down his cheek, he immediately wiped it away on his sleeve. The emotion was there, and gone as quickly as it came. He tucked the portrait away into his jacket pocket, next to his heart.

When the rain let up the pair were back on the trail. They didn’t stop till they reached the looming gates of the QZ. Night had fallen and Fedra was out patrolling. Joel and Tess had no idea that the fireflies had planned, and executed another attack early that morning. They had no idea that you had been clutching the gun he left with you so hard, your knuckles were beginning to turn white. Even after the chaos ceased, you did not let go of the gun.

Joel had taken notice of the new rubble just a block from the apartment. He overheard QZ residents whispering about another firefly attack and the lives lost in that early morning. Joel grasped Tess’s hand then, quickening his pace as they neared the apartment. His worst nightmare was feeling like it was coming true. He kept silently chanting to himself that you were okay. You were alive, he was certain. Once the pair had reached the building, they quietly slipped inside. Joel was a few lengths ahead of his partner, taking two stairs at a time, despite his bad knees. He was frantic as he pulled the keys from his pocket.

The gun in your clammy grasp was pointed towards the door when you heard rushed footsteps approaching. You took a shaky breath when the sound of the doorknob jiggling could be heard, followed by the sound of the door slamming open, Joel’s worried etched face coming into your view.

To say Joel was shocked to see you, alive and pointing a gun at him was an understatement. He was frozen on the spot with his arms instinctively raised above his head as he spoke, his voice was soft and his tone gentle. “Hey, Gwen. It’s alright. It’s just me. You’re safe, you’re okay.”

You blinked a few times then till it registered in your mind that you were safe and not in any immediate danger. Slowly, you lowered the gun. Setting it down on the coffee table carefully. You looked like absolute hell. “I thought you were–I thought.” You couldn’t compose your thoughts, your heart was still racing and your head was spinning.

“I know. It’s alright now. You are safe.” He repeated again, reassuring you.

He took a step forward then, his arms now relaxed at his sides and you glanced over his shoulder at Tess. She had given you a slight nod of acknowledgement before she stepped inside, closing and locking the door behind her.

There was a shift between them. Just by the way Tess brushed her hand against his bicep, the obvious glow to her skin. Something had changed and it wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. You just knew.

“How are you feeling?” Joel’s question had you focusing on him again, watching him carefully as he approached the couch, glancing at the gun momentarily.

“Could be better.”

He nodded then, sinking down beside you with a sigh. He looked well rested in comparison to you. You hadn’t experienced a decent fucking hour of sleep without being in misery.

“I’m surprised to see that you actually listened for once. You did well, could have been anyone behind that door and you didn’t hesitate.”

“You didn’t really give me much of a choice, Joel.”

“You’re right, I didn’t.” What he really wanted to say in that moment was that he was relieved. Relieved that you were alive and breathing. He couldn’t find the words so instead, he pulled out the burlap sack and handed it to you.

“Frank?” You asked while pulling out the tea, cough drops, and aspirin. You could cry right there, but you didn’t.

He was up from the couch already, his footsteps heading into the kitchen. You watched as he grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water and returned to you. Pouring out a couple aspirin from the bottle, you tossed them back and washed them down without hesitation.

“He’s a godsend, really. I wish I could have seen him.”

Joel could feel the weight of your painted portrait in his jacket pocket then, taunting him.

“He is. He was pretty disappointed that you weren’t with us. He missed you.” ‘I missed you too,’ he thought to himself.

“I miss him so much.” You settled back into the couch then. Closing your eyes as you recounted the last time you were at Bill and Franks. It was summertime and the wildflowers were in full bloom. “Is Bill still a grump?”

“Absolutely. ‘Almost shot me when I told him that you were sick, thought you were infected.”

You laughed then. “Typical Bill, always looking for an opportunity to point a gun in your face.”

He smiled then but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Talked him out of it, obviously. He wishes you a fast recovery.”

“Bill? Wishing me a fast recovery? Man, now I really feel like I'm hallucinating.”

“You should get some rest. You’re not out of the woods just yet.” He wouldn’t meet your eyes then and his tone was abrupt in contrast to a few minutes ago when he was worried out of his fucking mind if you were alive or not.

“Right, yeah. Thank you for going and getting me the medicine.”

“Don’t mention it.” He stood from the couch then, chewing on the inside of his cheek, drawing blood when he bit down too hard on the soft flesh, tasting copper on his tongue.

You watched as he pulled the remaining wrapped biscuits from his bag, along with the small jar of honey. He placed them down on the coffee table, next to the gun and then he disappeared down the hallway, out of your view.

_________

You didn’t see Joel till the next morning. The biscuits and honey were devoured. You hadn’t realized how hungry you truly were till they were placed in front of you.

For the next few days, Joel took care of you. Making you tea, keeping you hydrated but he still wouldn’t look you in the eye. Your fever was long gone now, and you felt like yourself again. Now it was time to address the elephant in the room. Your desire to know why he suddenly changed up on you, so abruptly, was going to kill you. You were sure of it but you had to know.

It was early evening, Tess was out, and Joel was sitting across from you, loading fresh bullets into his gun. He was supposed to meet her at the rendezvous point in 30 minutes. They had an important run to make.

“Why the fuck have you been acting so cold towards me lately?” Your inner thoughts were spoken out loud and it was too late to take them back. They were out in the open, and simmering.

Joel slowly lifted his head then, ceasing his movements and his eyebrow was raised in your direction. He wasn't expecting your outburst and truthfully, he thought pushing you away was the best solution. He was trying to put your feelings ahead of his own, and he was doing an absolute shit job at it.

“What’re you goin on about, Gwen?” His tone was even keeled. The complete opposite of what you were expecting.

“What am I going on about? Really? You’ve been acting all weird ever since you and Tess got back from Bill and Franks. You think I haven’t noticed? Well, I have and now i’m gonna say something about it since you’re too much of a fuckin pussy to do it.” You snapped back at him, feeling your blood start to bubble up and boil.

Joel cocked his gun then, looking right at you. The clicking sound was enough to have you flinching.

“You’re gettin in your head again, Gwen. Ain’t nothing has changed. If I were you, I'd be incredibly careful about your next choice of words.” His tone had an edge of a threat to it. He wasn’t in the mood for this. Being put on the spot, he hated it.

“Nothing has changed? Seriously, Joel?! Bull-fucking shit. You’re a shit fuckin liar.”

You watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched. His neck turned to the side and you could hear a faint crack. His eyes were dark, darker than you had ever seen them and it terrified you.

“So I guess you don’t wanna take heed of my warning, huh? Alright, Fine. Since you think you’re oh so fucking tough. You can handle it then.”

“Fucking spit it out Joel or so help me–”

He cut you off then, his words slicing through you like knives. You shouldn’t have cared about his next words. They shouldn’t have affected you as much as they did. You were kicking yourself in the chest over and over again for allowing yourself to feel for this fucking man. Feelings, of any kind, were not worth the risk in this fucked up world. You felt something for Joel though, it was a slow burn but it was there and it hurt, oh did it hurt.

“Tess and I are together.” There it was. He admitted it and now there was no reason for him to feel guilty. He had spoken the truth and now he watched your face closely, to see if his confession had any immediate effect on you. If there was a sliver of a chance that you felt for him. He was looking for it.

“Oh my god, seriously? That’s what you’ve been brooding over? You gotta be fuckin kidding me. You think I give a shit that you stuck your dick in her, Joel? Am I fuckin high right now cause there’s no fuckin way in hell that you honestly think for a second I care about that.”

Now it was your turn for your words to slice through him. His heart stung. He had expected you to care, just a tiny bit. Perhaps he was wrong about you. Perhaps your heart didn’t secretly pine for him like his did. Perhaps you were doing him a favor without him even realizing it.

“Felt like you should know since we–”

“Since we what? Had sex? If you think I have some emotional connection to you or something like a little school girl crush, just because we fucked, you got another thing fuckin coming for you, Miller.”

“I don’t. You don’t seem like the emotional connection type, anyway.”

“Good. Now that you’ve cleared the air or whatever, stop acting like a fuckin weirdo.”

He slowly stood from where he was sitting then, grabbing his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He put on his best poker face. There was no way in hell that he was gonna let you know that you had taken the knife, stabbed it in his chest, and twisted it for good measure. Now things could go back to the way they were before, The way they should be.

“Sure. No problem.”

“Awesome.” You responded just as quickly. Wishing that he would just already fucking leave because his looming presence was suffocating you.

“Don’t forget, I'm teaching you how to properly shoot soon.”

“Oh, don’t worry. There’s no way I could possibly fucking forget that.”

He nodded then, glancing over at you momentarily. Checking once more to see if there were any signs of you being upset by his words and instead, he was met with your cold stone stare. He left the apartment shortly after. Once you heard the door close, and his heavy footsteps disappear down the hall, you grabbed your knife in a fury and chucked it at the wall, watching the blade embed itself into the peeling, floral wallpaper with a thud.

Joel heard it. He had been silent at the foot of the stairs, listening.

You were picturing his face being the target instead. Bullseye, motherfucker.

CHAPTER 7:

[ashes-in-a-jar]

Hi! I was just wondering, what are your thoughts on episode 100 of The Sheridan Tapes?

You’re the reason I started listening and I always went to read your post after finishing an episode, I’m kinda confused by it honestly.

(Also I only just listened to it today (April 1st) so I was surprised when they mentioned it being April Fool’s Day cause it came out on Friday.

Sorry it took me a bit to respond to this, I have a few thoughts though, not sure if I will manage to sort through them. Mostly good!

First off what a nice thing to have a horror podcast that has a happy ending for most of its characters! They sure went all out with the polycule bit even without Ned lol. I did like how some of the chemistry Rob and Peter had in previous seasons paid off with that ending! Although some elements of it felt like they came out of nowhere? At least not in a way I noticed... Either way good for them!

The April 1st thing was fun timing to end the story! Love that it coincided (kinda) with irl date.

Although the actual date they saved the world was April 1st 2020 which was at the height of the beginning of the pandemic... from the frying pan into the fire amirite? XD

Sam becoming a "documentarian" for Anna's and Maria's podcast was a nice touch, and a jab at the "archivist" trope lol

I find it interesting that he decided to do it and kinda stick to the past? It feels like he hasn't managed to move on like the others, still stuck on maybe one day returning to Allen and the good old days. I am happy that Jerry took him under his wing, I wonder what their relationship is. I found it really touching that he asked Maria and Anna if it's okay to hug them, like he's used to asking permission from living with Sam which was so 🥺🥺🥺

Sam being anxious around a lot of people and then being understanding and accommodating was really touching in general.

I don't know how I feel about the direction Ren took, the whole Source revelation rattled them I would think they would do something about it rather than continue being part of a system that they ended up clashing over... I'm not even sure how ISFA is different from ISPHA? I would have liked to see them working on something fungi related, maybe with Amanita, who is MIA from the finale...

I would like a sequel about Sam going to rescue Ned (of course) and Ren dealing with aliens in space (a story thread that was left unresolved)

And definitely hear some of Rob's antiquing vlog shenanigans xD

Anyway, might have some more thoughts and something more cohesive to say about it all but overall I loved the podcast and enjoyed the ending, it tied up a lot of the story so neatly and managed to do it with minimal casualties and with care for every character

To say I cringed when the singing started in the end would be an understatement but good for them embracing it together xD

[mariagreenwoodart]

Tell me about Maya and I'll tell you about Gene :3 (oc blorbos)

Her story is a little cringe since I made her in 2020, but I've learned to embrace the cringe.

So this is Maya McKenna.

She's pretending to be half cat to hide the fact that she has a golden touch, because cat people are more accepted in starlake heights (the fictional city where my main roster of OCs are from) than people with curses. She's seventeen years old, and she's the founder and captain of starlake heights's tennis club. She's also in a relationship with her childhood best friend Rose Rivers.

(I drew these pictures yesterday when I was in a bit of an art kick.)

I also have a "main colour" for all my OCs. So Maya's main colour is turquoise and Rose's is red.

[fagbearentertainment]

i wanted to share some appreciation for how open u are about your interests even when people are harsh. ive been in mcytblr for a couple years now and ive kept my intrest in it mostly under wraps and pushed into a sideblog (originally it was all on my main blog) and im still nervous about mentioning it at all on my main. ur inspiring to me :3

ok wait omg I’m actually gonna tear up lol

I’m glad I can help y’all feel better about your “cringey” interests by just being my autistic self. This blog and the (mostly) positive reaction it’s gotten has actually helped me feel more comfortable still enjoying dsmp after it stopped being my main special interest last year too, as strange as that may seem.

Something about this blog just really makes me embrace my inner cringe i guess, first it brought back my fnaf hyperfixation and now I’m falling in love with dsmp like it’s 2020 again. I’m so glad I decided to hold this second bracket :’)

[bomberqueen17]

hi welcome back

My disorganized-bitch policy of never unfollowing people who go inactive unless a spammer takes over their zombie account is paying off and i’m seeing some ancient blogs come back online and resume their activity now that Certain Events have Transpired in the Greater Context of Social Media so I just sorta wanna say hi and welcome back and listen

listen

shit is weird, and the only way we’re all gonna survive is if we stick together and get even weirder, so like

come on in, the water’s fine, I’m doing my part to keep it unhinged with ya. Shop local, buy small, we can’t activism our way out of this one but we can do good where we can, tip your server, etc. etc., but really above all else remember, be unmarketable-to and as weird as possible.

(My particular part in this nonsense is that I write shockingly-coherent but unreasonably long intertwined epics nominally based on the concept of Witcher fanfiction (netflix? book? video games? yes and no to all three) but by this point they’re mostly OCs. We’re not at a million words yet but not for want of trying. This is not a marketable or rational thing to do. But if you were wondering what I’ve been up to, that’s what I’ve been up to, since March of 2020 when I realized not all of us were getting out of this alive.)

Pull up a coping mechanism. Be nice. Get weird. Ignore celebrities. Dismiss influencers. Avoid algorithms. Turn off the “best stuff first” shit. Look up things your damn self. Reblog all the good stuff you find. Use the queue function or not. Embrace the cringe. Post some titties. (as an aside: i have only seen like one pair of titties since they announced that, are we dead inside or what? come on man. no, no, i’m there with you-- I’m not posting shit until i see something i can believe in. So, free the nipple but like, someone else go first.)

Anyway hi. Some of us are still here. 

Let’s get weirder.

[ppeonppeonhan]

All-Time Favorite BL Character Challenge

Rules: Make a poll with five of your all time favorite characters, and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favorite.

No one tagged me (to my knowledge) -- just looked fun. I chose characters who've been the boldest and most inspiring these last few years.

And, in case you need a reminder, of why each of them are the baddest:

Ayan (The Eclipse) was on his king shit since day one. Fighting for the truth, breaking all the rules, and inflicting gay panic on his future bf, Akk. Love to see it.

Gavreel (Gameboys) was truly the definition of a golden-retriever boyfriend. Tan (We Are) and him would get along quite well. He was so incredibly patient with his baby-gay bf, and even though his rizz game was cringe-inducing, he made up for it with his emotional intelligence.

Jae Young (Semantic Error) makes the cut cause his entire idea of giving Sang Woo a taste of what it would be like to date him was so fucking boss. I'm still waiting for someone to make that an entire plot of a series.

Joo Hyuk (Love Class 2) should give a masterclass in playing hard to get AFTER getting ghosted. Like...how Sway? Had Sung Min out here questioning his life choices.

Ou Wen (Love is Science?) not only stood up to homophobes, he inspired one to become a better person, and to discover and embrace his true self. An absolute queen, in every sense of the word.

[parasolyaa]

hi! it's your grishaverse secret santa again! (who absolutely did not completely forget christmas was coming up and only realized how soon it is today)

i have one follow up question for you

are there any songs that you associate with the crows? and tell me why

(especially songs that you associate with specific characters but can be for pairings or all of them too. if you have cavetown/lovejoy songs that would be cool since i listen to them too but it can be anything)

hiii! I'm so so sorry I'm replying late, life's been kinda ??crazy?? in a probably good way

so, I took a long look at my playlist again and realised that I assosiate most of the songs with Kaz(and it doesn't necessarily make sence, just vibes yk?) so here we go:

There Isn't Any God by Rusty Cage

Inertia by AJR

Nunemaker's Parable by Everybody's worried about Owen(I think I mentioned these two songs in my prev post but hey I just rlly love em)

Home by Cavetown cause again I love this song. Fits Wylan too

Never Love an Anchor by The Crane Wire as a total kanej song("A ship could never love an anchor/Do you ever think of me and my two hands? And wonder why they never held you gently?" THIS IS SO KANEJ CODED AGHHH)

Alsooo here are some songs that give off the vibes of soc in general for me

Runs in the Family by Amanda Palmer - like it's from Wylan's pov? kinda?

Teenagers by MCR - gonna be repeating myself, but yeah, I am a cringe 2020 alt kid. & I embrace it.

Conversations with strangers by Caitlin Cook

We're Alive by Cavetown

I'll be there for you by The Rembrandts

I'm gonna be(500 miles) by The Proclaimers(last two just cause I love happy songs and happy crows although the canon apparently does not)

hope ur having a good day!

[bananaofswifts]

Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour opening weekend: Tears, joy and ‘therapy’

Fans descend on Glendale, Ariz. (a.k.a. ‘Swift City’) for a long-awaited chance to commune with their pop icon, revel in her lyrics and express their true selves

By Emily Yahr

GLENDALE, ARIZ. — Taylor Swift had endless choices when deciding how to kick off her first concert tour in nearly five years on Friday night, a captivating spectacle that stretched over three hours and included 44 songs. After starting with a brief snippet of “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince,” the namesake song to her 2020 Netflix documentary, she launched directly into “Cruel Summer.”

As the track’s hazy opening synth-pop beats blasted through State Farm Stadium, you could hear the gasps, with simultaneous shouts of “OH MY GOD!” barely heard above the ecstatic mayhem (and in some cases, heaving sobs) among the nearly 70,000 in attendance. Swift, resplendent in a shimmering bejeweled silver bodysuit and matching knee-high boots, beamed at the crowd, because she knew exactly what she was doing.

Swift fans believe that, in a parallel universe, “Cruel Summer” (the yearning anthem on her 2019 album, “Lover,” about a steamy and toxic relationship, with a chorus that demands you sing-scream along) was destined to be the song of the summer of 2020, released as a single as Swift planned to embark on a series of festivals called Lover Fest. Obviously, the global bummer of 2020 happened instead. Yet the obsession with “Cruel Summer” persisted, especially because Swift had never performed it live.

So this wasn’t just a song. For many, this was a stinging, subconscious reminder of how much we lost and what could have been. It was also a moment of pure, delirious joy — not only because of the thrill of hearing a beloved song live for the first time, but also because it’s clear that even one of the most powerful celebrities on the planet had felt all of that, too. It doesn’t seem like a coincidence that at the top of her first show on her Eras Tour — 52 dates of sold-out stadiums — she wanted to pick up right where she’d left off before the world shut down.

“I don’t know how to process all of this and the way that it’s making me feel right now,” Swift told the stadium when the song was over, her voice slightly shaking. Later, she added: “I’m really, really, really overwhelmed, and I’m trying to keep it together all night.”

ying to keep it together” has rarely applied to the 33-year-old Swift, who, nearing the end of a second decade as a professional musician, has ascended to a rare, glorified status as a once-in-a-generation pop star. She has no chill. After rising to fame with songs about her awkward, unpopular teen years, she now embraces cringe and earnestness. That’s part of the draw for her legion of fans, who see her as one of them. After Ticketmaster melted down during sales for the Eras Tour, the parent company’s chairman went on the defensive by pointing to the extreme demand, claiming that the number of people trying to buy tickets “could have filled 900 stadiums.”

The Swifties shelled out hundreds — sometimes thousands — of dollars for tickets and travel and descended on Glendale this weekend, determined to make the often harrowing process of ticket-buying a distant memory. The Phoenix suburb, which recently hosted the Super Bowl, could hardly contain its excitement. The mayor declared it would temporarily change its name to “Swift City,” and electronic signs on the highway encouraged safe driving with Swift puns: “CUT OFF? DON’T GET BAD BLOOD. SHAKE IT OFF.” “RECKLESS DRIVING? YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN.”

But that was nothing compared to the electric energy surrounding the stadium. To be a Taylor Swift fan is to learn to master the clues and secret messages that could be embedded in every lyric, public comment and social media post, no matter how opaque. To be a Taylor Swift fan is to always come ready, which includes devising the perfect outfit to wear to a concert, with unlimited options bestowed by the singer herself, who chose a tour theme, “eras,” that celebrates her past and present.

Being in the crowd was like being in a force field where all pretenses are gone; Swift’s music covers the spectrum of bubble-gum pop (which she refers to as “glitter gel pen lyrics”) to deep introspective poetry, and her concerts are a place where you can dance or cry to either. Swift has laid bare her own insecurities and emotions over 10 studio albums and more than 200 songs. Here, in her presence and among one another, fans become their truest selves.

Scanning the crowd, you could see countless sequins and bejeweled skirts and jackets, an homage to the “1989” era. There were also dark blue dresses with stars for “Midnights”; red heart sunglasses, a black bowler hat and a T-shirt reading, “Not a lot going on at the moment,” a shout-out to the “22” music video; dark lipstick and black leotards as a tribute to “Reputation”; lyrics scribbled down people’s arms in marker, something Swift used to do before every concert; and No. 13 painted on hands, another former Swift tradition, from when she was starting out as a country star.

“My inspiration is the Red Tour, one of Taylor’s iconic outfits, and I just wanted to re-create it,” said Giacomo Benavides, a 26-year-old content creator dressed like a circus ringleader who traveled from Peru for the show.

Some were even more specific: Olivia Jackter of Tucson, 26, wore a traffic-light get-up that displayed the phrase “I don’t know,” referring to a lyric from the song “Death By a Thousand Cuts.” Would non-Swifties understand it? Of course not. Did that matter? Of course not. “This was going to be my costume for Lover Fest. I’ve been waiting for this for years,” Jackter said.

A group of 20-something women attached plastic Easter eggs to white T-shirts with photos of some of their favorite “Easter eggs” and hints that Swift has dropped over the years. One man dressed in a cat costume as Swift’s newest pet, Benjamin. Two women whooped excitedly when they walked by each other in a line for food and saw that they wore matching floral dresses similar to what Swift wore to the 2021 Grammy Awards.

Another popular theme was “All Too Well,” the searing breakup ballad that recently got a second life when Swift released the updated 10-minute version. Lots of fans wore outfits displaying those lyrics. Ivan Hernandez of Phoenix sported a blue T-shirt that read, “Where’s the scarf, Jake?” — a reference to the song’s supposed subject, Swift’s ex-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal, and the lyric that suggests that he swiped her scarf.

“[My son] wanted to go to the concert, and he said, ‘Let’s wear outfits,’ and I was like, ‘Well, I’m not going to wear an outlandish outfit,’” said Hernandez, 46, whose 13-year-old son, Eli, was wearing an Eras Tour shirt they had bought at the merchandise stand Saturday afternoon before Swift’s second show. “So I just went online and started looking for something about ‘All Too Well,’ and this is the one that came up.”

Swift, who misses nothing, praised everyone for their effort from the stage.

“You have really outdone yourselves, guys. The way that you decided to show up to this concert, you really, really decided to show up,” she said, noting that she saw people dressed as mirror balls (from the song “Mirrorball”); willow trees (from “Willow”); and “sexy babies” (from “Anti-Hero” — and too complicated to explain). “I have seen, like, really amazing, specific visual representations of lyrics or weird online inside jokes that we have.”

“I was thinking about tonight and how special this is,” she added. “You have led me to believe, by you being here, that it’s special for you, too, so it’s really nice that it’s mutual.”

Swift’s unusually close relationship with her fans started back when she was a country artist, a genre in which singers are supposed to think of listeners as their peers. Swift always went a step beyond, chatting with fans on Myspace back before Nashville executives even knew what that was, and that connection has continued to this day.

In concert, Swift referred to the journey that she and her fans have taken together, like they’re a family. (The “four new members of the family,” she said, are the four albums she has released since her last tour.) She made no secret of the fact that she monitors fans’ social media activity, even dryly noting that her 2020 record “Evermore,” is “an album I absolutely love, despite what some of you say on TikTok.” (People on the platform are convinced that “Evermore” is her “forgotten child.”)

This is all why her bond with her fandom remains so strong. She connected early on to fellow teenage girls who inferred from society that their crushes and feelings and dreams were silly, only to find someone in Swift who took them seriously and who could articulate, in songwriting, what they didn’t even know they were feeling.

“By the time she’s done living through something and writing about it and releasing music, I’m living through it,” said Briana McReynolds, 32, of Phoenix, who showed up in a T-shirt covered in lyrics, as well as a purple streak in her hair to represent “Lavender Haze,” Swift’s latest single. Her best friend, Chris, accompanied her to the concert as an “emotional support Swiftie.” (“I’m doing my best,” he said.)

She’s just accidentally kind of written the soundtrack for my life,” McReynolds said. “She’s matured with all of us, or we’ve matured with her. So no matter what age I am, she can totally sing my heart.”

Caitlin O’Connor, 32, of San Diego came to the show with her mom; they have seen every Swift tour together for the last 15 years, and O’Connor makes sure to go multiple times.

“You don’t need therapy; you need Taylor Swift songs,” O’Connor said. Swift’s concerts, she explained, “are my happy place, and there’s nothing else like it. It’s the most natural high you could get in your whole life.” On her arm, she has a tattoo of lyrics from Swift’s “Treacherous”: “All we are is skin and bone, trained to get along.”

“I love that line. Really, at the core, everybody is human,” she said. “And that’s also the thing with Taylor Swift concerts: Everybody is really nice. … You bond over something immediately.”

Swift is highly aware of the world she’s built, and she doesn’t shy away from it. In a surprisingly direct admission, while introducing the song “Mirrorball,” from her 2020 album “Folklore” during an acoustic set, she reiterated to the crowd just how intensely she’s missed them over the past several years.

“I was thinking about how one of the songs that I wrote with you in mind during the pandemic was one of the first songs I wrote on ‘Folklore,’ and it was me writing about how badly I craved the connection that I feel from the care that you have directed my way,” she said. “I was trying to think of a sort of eloquent way to say that I love you and I need your attention all the time.”

The stadium quieted as she strummed and sang.

“I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try; I’m still on that trapeze, I’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me. ’Cause I’m a mirror ball. … I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight.”

And although she asked the members of the crowd for their attention, she didn’t need to; it was already there, and it always will be.

[purplesurveys]

1862

So, how's adulting treating you in the 2020s? Are you smashing those expectations, or do you just wanna Netflix and chill all day? I did way better than the expectations I set for myself. First of all – I'm 26 and I'm still alive. I never thought I would make it past 21. That's an empowering realization to have.

I've been promoted every single year since first getting employed in 2020; I hold a title at work I never thought I would ever be qualified for, and reached it at 25. I got over my biggest source of grief and used it to reach the happiest I've ever been. I have a much, MUCH smaller group of friends now, but in them I've found my ride-or-dies. I've learned to embrace being single because it means I get to be the cool rich aunt and spend my money on whatever food or hobby on the weekends. I've stopped comparing myself to other people and it has brought me peace like nothing I've ever felt. I think I'm doing pretty great.

Remember all the fads and trends from the 2010s? Which one makes you cringe the most when looking back now? The Coachella indie girl look with the muscle tees, denim shorts, rompers etc sort of look looked super cute and cool back then, but with trends changing and all it also feels ever so slightly cringe now. Cringe in an endearing way more than anything, but still.

Idk, I don't really find a lot of things from that time embarrassing now. I was in high school then, so I took part or consumed most of those trends and I'll always look back on them fondly.

In the 2020s, are you living the glamorous life you thought all adults had in the 2010s, or is it more like trying to keep houseplants alive and failing miserably? No. Adults are also just figuring out themselves, and that's okay. I don't think that will ever stop.

Tell us about a moment in the 2010s when you thought you were the coolest kid on the block, but looking back, you were just as awkward as the rest of us. Making my relationship my entire personality.

So, do you adult better with a fancy planner and color-coded schedules, or are you just winging it with Post-it notes and sheer luck? I take it day by day. I do and decide whatever I feel like doing and deciding at the moment.

In the 2020s, have you finally mastered the art of adulting, or do you still have an impressive collection of takeout menus and not a clue about cooking? Oh if you mean like chores, I'm pretty behind lol. It's part of why I plan to move to BGC – everything has a service there. I think being as far away from home as possible would also help straighten me up and force me to fend for myself, and I need that.

Looking back on the 2010s, what was the cringiest song you couldn't stop listening to on your iPod, and did you ever dare to sing it in public? AJ Lee's theme is forever a bop within the wrestling world but I wouldn't ever play it to my friends or sing it out loud haha. It's so endearingly niche.

Are you living the dream of having a fabulous wardrobe that puts fashion bloggers to shame, or is your closet a chaotic mix of hand-me-downs and sale-rack finds? It's chaotic in a sense that my style changes from day to day.

Do you miss the simpler times of the 2010s when social media was all about posting selfies, or are you loving the meme culture that dominates the 2020s? The memes get more hilarious as time passes, and those I have no problem with. It's the peace, the non-conflict, the everyone's-just-here-to-fuck-around vibes on social media. Twitter is a world away from what it used to be.

Tell us your most epic "adulting fail" moment that made you wish you could just teleport back to your carefree teenage years. It's not really one specific moment, but I've regretted corporate-slaving my life away. Especially in my earlier work years where I was very career-driven, missing out on family lunches or the chances to go out with friends...it's those moments that make me long for my younger years when I studied during the day but still had time to hang out with my college friends and my girlfriend at the time. In any case, turning 25 turned on a switch in me and I have been prioritizing my life over work ever since, so that's a nice learning, I guess.

How do you balance being a responsible adult in the 2020s and still secretly longing for the reckless fun you had in the 2010s? Eh, I don't really need to? I don't actively miss my time in the 2010s. It was fun while it lasted, but we're here now and I'm going to focus on what makes me happy now.

Confess your most significant guilty pleasure from the 2010s that you can't believe you indulged in. No judgment here! 1D fanfiction maybe lol? I wasn't in deep like most fans and I don't understand most references still getting thrown today, but I did read a couple.

Do you have a "best worst" purchase from the 2010s that you still can't believe you spent money on? Can it just be the worst haha? Probably just all the gas I spent for my ex, driving her everywhere – to dates, to her house, to her dorm.

In the 2020s, have you upgraded your hangover-curing skills from greasy fast food to some sophisticated avocado toast? Nah I will still look for greasy stuff.

What's your go-to dance move when you hit the dance floor in the 2020s, and did it come from an embarrassing attempt in the 2010s? I don't dance.

How do you cope with adulting burnout in the 2020s, and does it involve a secret stash of chocolate or a Netflix binge? I find a lowkey coffee shop tucked away in the middle of nowhere, turn on DND on my phone, and read.

Share the most hilariously awkward Zoom moment you had during the great pandemic of the 2020s. I've never had an awkward on-cam moment, fortunately.

Looking back on the 2010s, what was the weirdest internet challenge you participated in, and did you regret it immediately? I wouldn't call it weird but my sophomore (or was it freshman?) class did the Harlem Shake challenge on the last day of school. I wouldn't call it cringe or be embarrassed by it though. It's cute to think about now.

Have you finally embraced the fact that you're an adult, or do you still find yourself wishing you had Hermione Granger's time-turner to go back to simpler times? I miss the freedom in youth, but I prefer to focus on the now because as much as I long for it, it'll never come back.

So, did you ever jump on the "juice cleanse" bandwagon in the 2010s, and did you last more than a day before devouring a pizza? No I was like 15 and weighed 90 lbs lol.

How do you handle those moments in the 2020s when you feel like you're just a kid pretending to be an adult? Cry it out if I need to, but trudge along anyway and hope that I learn something from the whatever it is I need to do.

In the 2010s, what was your worst fashion faux pas that you wish had never seen the light of day? Statement shirts.

Are you now the queen or king of adulting, doling out life advice like Oprah, or are you still secretly calling your mom for help with laundry? I have no shame asking my parents for help. They won't be around forever, so I like having them around as much as I can.

Looking ahead to the rest of the 2020s, what are your hopes and dreams for your adulting journey, and how will you embrace the chaos with a sense of humor? I would just love to be able to travel the world. And be the aunt that sneaks my nieces/nephews out for ice cream or pizza after school.

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

us the voices recommends! shows, and movies! part 1

Larva 11/10

this show is genuinely amazing, I literally have cried multiple times it's genuinely the best show in the whole "potty humour, screaming" genre, literally if you can get past the kinda obnoxious screaming you will be treated with a wonderful show that has so much love put into it.

(most media critics are snobs, this show is awesome. embrace the silly and the cringe.)

Upload (2020) 10/10

black mirror if it was funny and wasn't anti-technology, best take on cyberpunk I've seen in a long time. if you liked black mirror but hated the doomer parts and the trash writing of some of the later seasons and episodes you will adore upload!

(I actually hate black mirror, like it's all short stories at the end of the day and I like some of them so much and others can go in a hole and die genuinely. it's the most mixed bag of a show I've ever seen, because it just kinda is such a doomer show like make up your mind on what it is!!! 4.7/10 overall and 11/10 for select short stories.)

dinosaur king (dubbed) 10/10

if you like "Pokemon" and "Digimon" you will fucking love dinosaur king, it has (for the time) accurate dinosaur facts. the VA's for jessie and James! and I think ash? appear, and it's a all round fun show! lots of dinosaurs and crying to be had!

squid girl (dubbed/subbed) 10/10

if you like anime girl, fish out of water, slice of life, funny shows you will love squid girl! many many squid puns, and general tomfoolery.

Siren: Survive the Island 11/10

a south Korean reality game show, where a bunch of women from different jobs and backgrounds compete to be the last one standing.

it's genuinely the coolest, edge of your seat show I've watched in a long time!

Physical 100 10/10

a reality game show where the top 100 south Korean sports people? compete against each other to win, it's fucking crazy and awesome and I can't believe it's a show.

Star Trek: lower decks 11/10

if you in any shape or form liked Star Trek you will fucking love lower decks! it's a love letter to Star Trek in all ways, it's extremely funny and a fresh take on the Star Trek formula!

(if you think the first ep is a bit meh, stick through it! it gets so much better)

sword art online: abridged 12/10

I have only ever watched, "sword art online: alicization" and so that was my intro to the sword art online series. but after watching the "something witty's" sword art online: abridged I can never go back. it is extremely well written, the characterisation is impeccable, it has the most realistic feel of if a whole bunch of people actually got trapped in a VR game, and is such an amazing version of the show you will wonder why you hadn't heard of it before!

the Red turtle 11/10

if you like beautiful animation, sadness, and to get your brain chemistry changed. you should check out the red turtle! it's a joint production with studio gibbli, and is so visually stunning and mesmerising you will just sob.

this movie is so amazing, and you will adore the hell out of it.

Megamind 11/10

Dreamworks cult classic film, a family movie that breaks down the superhero genre and reinvents it into a tale of redemption, grief, and rejecting what people think of you. one of the best family movies of the 2010s.

bolt 11/10

if Disney wasn't cowards we would have more of these cult classic early to late 2000s 3D movies, but they hate fun.

if you took everything anti-hollywood and a solid critic on the state of cinema and tv and threw in some animals, chucked it in a pot.

you would have this amazing film! genuinely one of the best Disney movies ever, and the fact people don't talk about it more is saddening.

treasure planet 11/10

one of the last 2D Disney movies, it bombed bad in the cinemas but it is an amazing film that deserves love.

the score is amazing, the characters are so weird and wonderful, and it evokes insane feelings.

chicken little 10/10

if you like kinda campy goofy movies about autism coded characters and sci-fi, and also animals you will adore chicken little, it's one of the weirder 2010s Disney movies. lots of fun and a good family movie.

that's all! see you next instalment!

[pumpkinspice-prouvaire]

5 (Grantaire) (also Jean Prouvaire), 15, and 20 (Les Mis fandom) for the ask game, please!

Out of all your fanworks that include Grantaire/Jean Prouvaire, which is your favourite? hmmm Grantaire, I think it's probably Bad Idea, Right? honestly. His role in that fic is pretty small, but I think that's the I've gotten to his actual, canon characterisation (ie. drunk and entirely unhelpful) I have apparently not written Jehan in detail a lot and that makes me sad :(( he tends to get grouped into that 'Les Amis de l'ABC' catch all tag lmao. Legitimately it might be the way I've written him in my first fic, which I'm not gonna link bc I hate it lol. He was having a silly goofy time but also his head was screwed on, so valid

Have you noticed your style change over time? oh ABSOLUTELY YES. I'm currently working on my Hunger Games AU again after not touching it for well over a year, and I'm basically rewriting it from scratch because my old writing style made me go oh holy shit this will not do lmao.

When did you first join Tumblr? How long was it between that and finding Les Mis? I joined tumblr in 2012/2013 but had an 'aesthetic' blog rather than a fandom blog, but was a regular lurker on the les mis tag even back then thanks to les mis 2012. That blog is longggg gone. I embraced my cringe and made this silly lil fandom blog in 2020 😌

[denimbex1986]

'WE LIVE IN A GOLDEN AGE of cinematic embraces between queer children and their parents. The PFLAG-waving parade arguably began with 2017’s Call Me by Your Name, whose young protagonist, Elio, finds that his father not only knows he is gay but professes to envy the intensity of his romance with a much older man. A year later, we got Love, Simon, whose titular character comes out to his parents while opening presents on Christmas morning and finds himself the recipient of a teary monologue from his therapist mother promising unconditional acceptance. The adult protagonist of 2020’s Happiest Season, Abby, learns that her father is ready to sacrifice the support of a major donor so that he can publicly champion her queerness while on the mayoral campaign trail. Finally, 2023 gave us the cake-batter-coated fantasy of Red, White, and Royal Blue, in which the first female president of the United States takes time out of her day to lecture her newly-out son about bottoming and Truvada. Parents in these recent movies do not slowly come around to their child’s coming out; they trumpet their full-throated support. Their kids are here, they’re queer, and goddammit, the parents get it.

These movies represent a sharp departure for American cinema. A tour through The Celluloid Closet (1995), the landmark documentary of queer cinematic imagery based on Vito Russo’s 1981 study, makes it painfully clear that for most of its history, Hollywood has largely depicted queer existence as a litany of suffering, while positioning parents, if they appear at all, as a central wounding force in the queer psyche. Historically, parents of queer children in the movies disown their kids, whether literally or figuratively (in a surprising number of these films, parents are simply absent). To watch gay movies from the 1950s up through, say, 2016 is to learn to cringe when a parent walks into the frame, anticipating they will force their cowering children onto the streets. The pivot toward portrayals of parental affirmation has, then, been sharp and undeniable.

Unsurprisingly, media coverage of these movies has tended to paint the rise of what one might call the “embrace and understanding” narrative as a positive, perhaps even revolutionary, development. Seeing parents throw their arms around their queer children on the big screen, some critics have suggested, works as a kind of instructional video: parents can learn, through watching, how to hug and affirm instead of sending their child packing. Directors and writers of these films, meanwhile, sometimes suggest that watching queer kids getting loved so hard by parents who know too many of the words, who get it too much, is itself subversive—because this is the first time that parents have been shown as being entertainingly expert at being allies.

Given the grim history of Hollywood’s treatment of queer characters, these arguments have a surface plausibility. But while these movies may be comforting, do they actually satisfy anyone? I don’t hate feeling good. But I find these films’ entreaties for acceptance stifling, prescriptive in the moralism lingering just underneath their tear-stained embraces. I experience a kind of exhaustion viewing their rah-rah energy beneath the thick billows of theoretical confusion. They leave the same tired aftertaste I get picking Bank of America confetti off of my clothes in Pride Month. What, I find myself wondering, does it even mean to “accept”? What should acceptance, between a parent and child, entail? And why is the opposite of being thrown out of the house being “understood”?

All of Us Strangers, the new film from Andrew Haigh, the director of Weekend (2011), a landmark of queer cinema, grapples with these questions as it tells the story of the relationship between a gay child and his parents. And I was relieved to find that, unlike its recent predecessors, the film does not equate love with acceptance or acceptance with understanding.

All of Us Strangers tells the story of a screenwriter, Adam (Andrew Scott), who returns to his childhood home in the suburbs of London just as he begins to write a screenplay about his parents, who died in a car crash when he was twelve. Upon his arrival, he discovers that his parents miraculously live on in the home. Though he has aged, they have not, so that he appears older now than they are. Adam’s parents are desperate, in a basic way, to know him. They press him on his life in their absence and are thrilled to learn that he is a writer, that he has moved to London. When Adam arrives wet from the rain one day and takes off his sopping clothes, his mother reaches out to his body, taking in the fact of his maturation and the surprise of the person he has grown into in their absence.

And yet, as its title suggests, All of Us Strangers is centered not around understanding, but around inexplicability—the limits of knowing and the possibility or even necessity of remaining in large part a stranger to someone you love. (As if to reinforce this in formal terms, the film itself plays with genre, blurring the boundary between ghost story and fantasy.) Adam discusses his queerness most bluntly in two exchanges, one with each parent. Each scene is effectively a coming out, refracted through the lens of mutual surprise and disappointment. In one, Adam’s father recalls hearing Adam cry in his room each day after school. When Adam asks why his father never came in to comfort him, his father admits not wanting to confront the possibility that his son was the kind of child whom other children would bully. Even more painfully, he did not want to confront the fact that as a child he, too, would have been one of those bullies.

In the other scene, Adam’s mother asks whether he has found a girlfriend, and in response he tells her that he is gay. Matter-of-factly, she says that no parent would want to think such a thing about their child. She is incredulous to learn that gay people can marry and is then fearful about the implications of his gayness, worried that it might bring loneliness or the risk of contracting HIV/AIDS. When he tells her that things have changed, she says, simply and truthfully, “I wouldn’t know about that.”

In Haigh’s tender and generous lens, Adam’s parents’ lack of understanding of this fundamental part of his identity does not preclude them from loving him, or him, in turn, from loving them. The essential poignancy of the movie derives from the idea that Adam cannot stop coming back to them, and to the simultaneous safety and hurt of that home. For much of the film, he seems to be fleeing the modern world—the London where, he reassures his mother, he can walk safely down the streets as an openly gay man—in order to return over and over to the house where his parents remain, trapped in the eternal amber of the eighties. He comes back to reassure them and to seek reassurance for himself. They trade memories of their disappointments in each other, their annoyances and mutual failures.

Importantly, queerness is only one axis of what they do not know, and what they hide, from each other. Often, when Adam returns home, one parent is there and one is missing. But they do not tell him where they go, nor do they ever discuss the metaphysical loophole by which they have stayed alive. The essential unknowability of others, including or perhaps especially the unknowability of those we love, is the steel that runs through the movie: in their final moments together, Adam hides from his parents the circumstances of their own death, sparing them as well himself.

I felt, watching All of Us Strangers, that I had seen—for perhaps the first time in my life—a film brave enough to assert that the alternative to parental rejection does not have to be saccharine, absolute affirmation. It satisfied a longing I had felt for years: to see a movie that depicted a textured relationship between queer children and their parents, such as the nuanced ones portrayed in Andrew Solomon’s 2013 book Far from the Tree. Solomon, who is gay, centers Far from the Tree on families characterized by children with what he dubs “horizontal identities,” a term describing traits that lead them to diverge markedly from the experiences and identities of their parents, rather than the more traditional “vertical identities” that they might inherit through genetics or upbringing. (The book began, by Solomon’s account, when he was assigned to report on deaf culture and was struck by the parallels between the deaf experience and his own queerness, especially when deaf children spoke of their relationship to their hearing parents.) Far from the Tree profiles parents whose children differ from them in many ways, including children who have dwarfism, who are autistic, who are trans, and even those who are prodigies.

These horizontal identities lead inevitably to rifts in what parent and child can know about each other. And though Solomon specifically selected parents, as he tells us, who came to accept their child’s identity, Far from the Tree, like All of Us Strangers, offers a different, more complicated account of acceptance from the one we get in Love, Simon and Happiest Season. Acceptance, for Solomon, is not about knowing but about “misapprehending.”

In one of many moving reported scenes, Solomon visits an annual meeting of Little People of America, a conference for people with dwarfism, and goes over to comfort an adolescent girl whom he discovers half-sobbing, and half-laughing, at the shock of finding herself surrounded by thousands of other people who look like her, as her mother stands off to the side, watching. Some version of this scene repeats itself throughout the book; over and over, parents acknowledge the discomfiting reality that there are vast communities of people on the Earth, strangers to them in all other regards, who might nonetheless understand some central part of their children more than they themselves ever will.

The acknowledgment, or concession, that children and parents need not—perhaps cannot—understand each other on some of the most fundamental axes of their separate lives also forms the emotional core of All of Us Strangers. And while Haigh’s insistence on the limits of what a parent can know might seem bleak when measured against the sheer happiness of a movie like Happiest Season, let alone the campy joy of a movie like Red, White, and Royal Blue, the message of All of Us Strangers is, if not joyous, then deeply humanist: in emphasizing the boundaries of acceptance, even comprehension, it sets parent and child on surprisingly equal ground. Adam returns repeatedly to his parents to explain who he is, and they attempt, in turn, to explain themselves to him—the fears they held as young parents, the worries of their own inadequacy, the hope they might have grown to be better, if they had had more time. In this, the movie echoed, for me, the conversations in Far from the Tree that I remember and return to most. Repeatedly, throughout the book, children discuss how much of their parents’ experiences is unfathomable to them just as frequently as their parents mention the strange joy and heartbreak that comes with realizing that their children’s identities have given them lives profoundly different from their own.

Ultimately, in these works, it is not a child’s queer identity that prevents them from being understood by a straight parent; rather, being misapprehended comes to seem like the base state of any relationship between humans. And “acceptance” means accepting that between a parent and a child, and perhaps between any two people, lie vast territories of human experience, maybe large enough to cover the whole span of a life, that each can never know about the other. To love one another is to wish that with more time, you would come to a mutual understanding—and then to admit that you may not. In its portrait of the reality of this hard task, All of Us Strangers is strangely empowering. The attempt to understand those we love, Haigh suggests, could take up a lifetime, ten lifetimes, an eternity—if only we could let it.'

[ts1989fanatic]

It’s Taylor Swift’s world and we’re just living in it — whether we want to or not

In 2023, no one can escape Taylor Swift.

Her Eras tour has helped float the U.S. economy, her support of rumoured beau Travis Kelce (ever heard of him?) saw his NFL jersey sales shoot up by 400 per cent, and now the music superstar is about to conquer the box office with her new concert film, “Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour,” which opens today in Toronto.

Even Beyoncé attended the “Eras” movie premiere on Wednesday night, an appearance Swift described as “an actual fairy tale.”

But what if you’re not a Swiftie, but your timeline has morphed into a Swiftian landscape rich in sightings, analyses and album announcements? What if you just want to watch football in peace, or worse: you liked Travis Kelce before he was Swift-adjacent? Will you ever be blessed with a brief reprieve?

Not in this lifetime, friend.

Since launching the Eras tour this spring, Swift has morphed from musical mainstay into cultural juggernaut, displaying not only mass appeal, but a unique brand of resilience. She has transcended mere celebrity and become impervious to her haters who drag her for being “basic” or for dating problematic men. Swift seems to knows that she’s accumulated an unprecedented amount of cultural capital. Before, she had sparkle; now, she’s got swagger.

This outcome was not assured. Swift was out of the in crowd for a decent amount of time. In 2016, she retreated from the spotlight after being embarrassed by the release of an edited phone call with longtime nemesis Kanye West.

That same year, Swift’s relationship with actor Tom Hiddleston was defined by questionable photo opps and the “Loki” star’s homemade “I [heart] TS” tank top — a moment so cringeworthy that it ensured Hiddleston’s name was swiftly taken off all “next James Bond?” lists. (ELLE magazine called the tank “notorious.”) Taylor Swift fatigue was real, and it seemed like her best-before date had finally arrived, that the Teflon remaining from Kanye’s 2009 “I’mma let you finish” speech had finally worn off.

This assumption was embarrassingly inaccurate. Upon the release of “Reputation,” the 2017 album that addressed everything from Swift’s Kanyé feud to her new relationship with then-boyfriend Joe Alwyn, the superstar not only embraced the fallout but built a new persona on the back of it. Her lyrics confronted her haters and critics (“I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time; Honey I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time”). She parlayed the near-universal backlash into her origin story — superhero or supervillain, depending on your loyalties. (“The old Taylor can’t come to the phone. Why? Oh, she’s dead!”)

Six years later, Swift is stronger than ever.

Since 2017, Swift has released four full-length albums, directed a short film for “All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)”, re-recorded and released a series of previous albums in order to reclaim her own masters, and starred in Netflix’s 2020 documentary, “Miss Americana.” Swift’s billion-dollar Eras tour is defined by the personas that parallel her discography. While many artists turn their backs on former incarnations of themselves, Swift has used her past to guarantee a more powerful future.

How did Swift become the woman on which local economies rest?

Yes, her songwriting is solid. Absolutely, her work ethic is terrifying. Taylor Swift is not like us. But where most of us cringe at past life choices, Swift has mined hers to create a myth of universal relatability. In support of her albums’ re-releases, she dresses the part of each era, proudly standing by the girls she used to be, thus reaching even more listeners. (Maybe you hate her “Lover” era, but you might stan “evermore” or “Midnights.”) She is confident in herself, in her music, in her dancing. She attends her (maybe) boyfriend’s football games alongside her famous friends, laughing and cheering and raising a glass. She doesn’t care what anybody thinks, because she doesn’t need to.

Taylor, unapologetic, is a world-dominating Taylor. Her earnings speak for themselves.

Those billions alone undermine her positioning as “one of us.” Swift’s allure exists in creating and selling the myth that all it takes to rise atop the pop culture pyramid is talent and determination. But we all know that’s not true. Anybody watching Swift-mania unfold understands that what we’re seeing play out is a tightly choreographed performance that keeps us watching and waiting, wallets open, to see what she does or says or releases next.