#walmart my puffy friends

[mariagreenwoodart]

Idk why some people don't like hop and nemona. Because in my opinion, they're some of the most memorable characters in their respective games. I might be a bit biased though, since nemona is my favourite pokemon character.

[maria-greenwood-neighbour]

Meet snow White wally, my very own wally au!

[maria-greenwood-taylors-version]

I don't know how I got the confidence to sing vigilante shit in my grandmother's car and honestly I'm scared of my willpower now

[saltygilmores]

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: S3/EP6: TAKE THE DEVILED EGGS (PT 3) (STILL SO MUCH HAPPENING HERE)

Can I have a donut too? *yoink* Thank you. So much going on with this outfit. Wardrobe Dept : Layers, people! I WANT TO SEE MORE LAYERS! AND I WANT THAT VEST TO BE PUFFY! And make sure his shirt has a skull on it too cause the chicks dig that. Milo:

Jess informs Luke he has to run "errands" before school and the thought of this small infant kitten making a run to the post office to buy stamps and dropping by the laundromat before homeroom is just a delightful image. Of course we know where he's actually going. To toil in the Walmart Mines. But first, coffee and a donut and some petty theft.

This is such a great line. Perfect sassy delivery. Perfect comedic timing. Totally under rated quip that rarely ends up in anyone's little edits and I don't know why. So under rated that I forgot about it. Luke and Jess are the best.

He can steal a little bit. As a treat.

There goes my teenage nephew. Off to his Gigolo Job. Sexually servicing the horny lonely women (men?) of The Hollow. I'd really love to know who Luke thought Jess had as his clientele in Stars Hollow. Miss Patty?

*shudder* Luke goes to Gypsy's auto shop to confirm that Jess' car purchase was legit. She can't confirm the source of his cash flow. Not satisfied with the answer, Luke goes home to nose around some more and commit some serious violation of Jess' privacy by rifling through his underwear drawer, where he finds a mysterious box. I'm not clear what he's looking for. Money? Is he looking for the $10 Jess took out of the register? Kiss it goodbye Luke, it's gone. Probably already spent on a copy of Maxim and some Jergens. (Rebecca Romjin Stamos was on the cover of Maxim in November 2002, by the way. What other Gilmore Girls Watcher Person is going to look this stuff up except Ol' Salty?). Depending on whose dresser drawer this is, either Jess or Luke wear gray and white striped panties. My money is on Jess, striped boxer briefs are too sassy for Luke.

Seen: Striped panties, Box O' Weed. A few moments earlier Luke had spoken to a waiter/undercover cop in the diner (a waiter I have never seen before nor ever again who looked incredibly out of place) asking him to narc on Jess' whereabouts. Luke then proceeds upstairs to rifle through Jess' shit without his consent, as one tends to do on Gilmore Girls. During this rifling, Luke takes a phone call from an unknown person. I don't yet understand the context of this odd phone call. It goes like this: Hey Randy. What's up. Someone's gotta take care of it. It's not gonna take care of itself. I understand. I get it. What else? Huh? Who the hell is Randy? The other time someone said "I have to take care of something" the Stars Hollow PD had to dredge a dead body from the lake. Shady shit.

At one point in his little privacy violation mission Luke opens up an oddly shaped reddish box that almost looks like a heart shaped Valentine's Day chocolate box (the lighting is very dim here). Maybe the kind of box you'd stash your weed in after you finished the candy. (it was empty. Jess must have smoked all the weed already). Next, in anticipation of Creepy Sherry's baby shower, Lane and Rory have a walk-and-talk about the disgustingness of sex and childbirth. Rory calls the "Getting there" part of child birth a "big cosmic joke." So...is the "Getting there" sex? Poor Dean and Jess. The bluest balls in all the land. Rory stringing Dean along for two years without putting out may be the only sympathy I reserve for him. That's rough. Lane: My mom has never told me where babies come from. When my cousin got pregnant she said an angel brushed its wings against her. Rory: I could fill you in on the details. Lane: No thank you. I already learned it on the streets. That was funny. Lane is great.

Welllp. I take that back. Jess and Lane could have been really great friends. Good thing she comes around eventually. In like...the last episode before Jess and Rory break up and he disappears forever she calls them a cute agoraphobic couple. A little too late there my friend. One day you might need a place to crash in NYC with your band and you'll wish you had his number. Let this be a lesson to you fine people. Never get into an unavoidable minor car accident while in Stars Hollow. Never drive in Stars Hollow. Never visit Stars Hollow. Pretend the entire state of Connecticut doesn't exist. You'll be happier, healthier and wiser.

Here we go again. Rory's friends and family trying to fight battles for Rory that she really, really doesn't want fought.

Incoming! My little puffy vested kitten. I'm going down a "what did teenage boys wear in the early 2000s" rabbit hole now. I'll bring you back a souvenir. I graduated high school in 2002. I just have no memory of the fashion at the time. Boys did not give me the time of day. It was for the best, honestly.

Hey, look who it is! Mr. Rygalski/Brody/Cohen, you likely don't have complete control over your own wardrobe for television, but this outfit is a crime. Speak up, man. Don't get me started on Timberlake, either. My search results are skewing Puffy vests over dress shirts instead of puffy vests over tshirts. I want to leave the early 2000's now.

Put that finger down, woman.

:(

Ladies and gentlemen, we have Upside Down Watch. After the lively recent Tumblr debate about UDW being some kind of tribute to military service members wearing their watches upside down, I asked my friend in the army if this was a thing she was aware of and she stated she had never seen any one wear their watch upside down. Admittedly a very small sample size. But it deepens the mystery.

Please watch this scene and listen to how he lisps "Andy Griffith" in this sentence, it's really adorable, and cawr always delights as well.

Cawr cawr cawr!

Lane proceeds to pontificate on the shoddy quality of his Cawr. Okay, Miss Judgy No Cawr or License. After you obtain a car, license and registration through dubious means like Jess did , then you can have an opinion on what he’s driving.

Maybe if you tried to befriend him, he'd be wiling to let you bum a ride with him to band practice. That is a quandry you're currently trying to solve, is it not? Use your noodle. There's a white tshirt peeking out. So he's wearing...*counts* four layers. Vest, beige shirt, black shirt, white shirt. Underactive Thyroid Betty over here.

The best part of everyone being salty to Jess is that he doesn't give one single flying cupcake if someone doesn't like him. Plus he has a braw in his back seat. Probably several braws. Goodnight.

[trauma-insence]

Some advice for winter weather

weather is wonky and bad winter weather is hitting some places where people may not be prepared for it or may not know how to handle it or what to expect. as someone who has lived in areas with bad winters their entire life, I've asked some people what advice or tips they have for people new to snow icy conditions

From a few mechanics

have good brakes and tires. they all seemed to agree that a lot of the accidents they see cars from happened because someone involved didn't have good brakes or tires

from a guy that runs a tire shop- if you can't afford good snow tires, call and ask if they have any sort of community fund or program to help pay for them. explain your situation and a lot of times people want to help

if you have a front wheel drive car, put sand bags in the back. adding the extra weight helps with traction in the rear tires (as someone with a front wheel drive car this does help a ton)

double check that all your lights are working, headlights, tail lights, blinkers, and interior lights

let your engine heat up before you go anywhere and if you can, drive more than about 10 miles at a time (helps your engine in the long run)

if you're waiting for a tow truck, be nice to the driver. you may be waiting a while if other cars are possibly a higher priority situation or it might not be safe for the tow truck to get to you in the moment

From a teacher

a lot of high schools have gone to virtual days instead of snow days, teachers know that in these cases students may have to watch younger siblings. communicate your situations.

seasonal depression gets worse when people are stuck in their houses, if you're struggling, say something

"Consider it my unofficial assignment to anyone who reads this to spend at least half an hour outside or doing something they enjoy"- Mr. K

From a sheriff

if the roads are bad, don't drive unless absolutely necessary

if roads are bad and you need to drive, go slow with your flashers on. if people behind you start getting impatient pull over and let them pass

Don't text and drive. don't do it ever, but especially if there's snow or ice. just don't do it (this is the summed up version from the ten minute talk he gave me)

if for whatever reason you find yourself stranded, broken down, or waiting on a tow truck, call the police if you don't feel safe or if you have a small child in the car at risk of getting too cold

General advice from some people who have seen their fair share of bad winters

keep an emergency kit in your car, it should include a flashlight, extra batteries, a wool or thermal blanket, and a coffee tin or aluminum can with tea lights and a lighter or matches. lighting the tea lights in the can should give you at least fifteen minutes of warmth

dress in layers

you can get thermal under wear from Walmart for about $10 (note: this price is from a boomer who has not bought thermal under wear in at least ten years and i didn't bother to price check)

if you get frostbite, run the area under cool water and slowly bring it to room temperature as you thaw. seek medical attention if you can

with the right gear, winter walks are beautiful and nature should be enjoyed. make sure you do something fun and spend some time in it, it's especially fun to spend time with friends and family in snow

if you have pets, make sure you buy pet safe anti-freeze and salt

if you have children in carseats, don't strap them in with a puffy jacket on them

if you get out of your car after starting it, keep a window open just in case the doors are locked or a child (insert my mothers look over to me as she said this) or pet might lock you out of the car

keep an eye on walkways for ice, if you start to fall brace yourself and try to fall on your butt, don't try to catch yourself with your hands out

Add more if you have them!!

[smallerplaces]

2023 in review 2: 4" mini dolls

This is a category where I culled and refined a lot. Mom had about 100 Kelly and Chelsea dolls in their costumes, and I'd had a bad habit of buying Sparkle Girlz Minis to reward myself for enduring grocery shopping at Walmart in Phoenix. (When I went to Kroger, instead I bought My Little Pony Minis. Since a girl has to eat, these things accumulated. I don't know where the ponies went, probably donated years ago.)

Our leftmost girl, Neveah, is a 2002 Kid Kore Jodi or Jodi-adjacent. She's the doll who touched off renewed interest in this size category, as she has a different face-up than the two traditionally used for Jodi dolls. I've been referring to her as Black, but I'm not sure that was her intent, and for 2024 she may be reclassified as a different ethnicity where straight hair is more usual.

The little blond boy, Lucky, is a Lucky Industries clone of Kelly's friend Tommy, in his original outfit. His rooting photographs badly but looks fine in person, and he has such a cute expression!

Evi Love was a standout pick because she's a Black mini with actual curls! Technically, her hair texture isn't authentic, but she's doing a better job of being a Black doll at this size than most others.

Kelly is my favorite of Mom's Kelly dolls and provides the body comparison for this size range.

Kelly has a vast wardrobe, while Neveah and Evi do better in the fashions for Dollar Tree's little science girls. Poor Evi still needs shoes that aren't hot pink! If Simba sold an Evi Love fashion pack with neutral shoes, I'd be on it.

Notably missing here are Scarlet/Ruby (I keep changing what I call her) and Jania, the two reps of different generations of Sparkle Girlz Minis.

Ruby -- or Scarlet, it's a bad sign when I keep changing the doll's name -- was a sentimental save as one of the few dolls I bought in Connecticut, and one of the last generation of Funville dolls. Jania is a new Zuru Glitzeez, representing how the dolls changed after Zuru bought Funville.

On the one hand, I was really excited about doing a comparison of the two, and I did that thing.

On the other hand, they both look cheap and puffy-headed when compared to my fab four. Jania is very similar to Neveah and obviously inferior, both in quality and in interest: there aren't a lot of 2002 Jodi dolls running loose, and there are tons of Glitzeez. Ruby just... looks so stolid and unengaged. I was always having to do a little extra work to fit her into scenes with the fab four. So these two are going into the donation bin.

Important rule coming out of this: Don't buy just to document a clone line's existence. A $3.75 purchase obviously isn't a big deal, but I feel kind of stupid about it. The upshot is that I will not buy anything from MGA's Dream Ella line, no matter how steeply discounted as it's closed out, as my role in life is not, repeat not, to document every short-lived knock-off-ish line of dolls.

[boredfanwrites]

Buddie #1

There is not a bone in my body that can accept that in any other universe they wouldn't be perfect together. Post 4x14 so SPOILERS for that. This got so much longer than I thought it would be. Sorry in advance, there's much more under the cut.

· Eddie tells him about the will. Chris goes to Buck if anything happens to Eddie. Which it very nearly did.

· It causes Buck to actually stop and think things through before rushing into danger.

· The rest of the team question it while Eddie's recovering but he just says there's someone relying on him now.

· They take it to mean Taylor - well Chimney and Albert do, Hen and Bobby are more clued in.

· Buck talks about Eddie and Chris like he did when they quarantined together - like they're living together again.

· They are.

· Buck moved in to help Eddie and his recovery, with Ana stepping in when he was on shifts - even if she tended to undo everything Buck had done.

· He tells himself it's because she's not used to the way he and Eddie do things - yes that one singular bowl and plate live in the lower cupboard, it's so Eddie can reach them easily. Chris always picks the movie on movie nights, Eddie and Buck alternate when he's gone to bed.

· Eddie is stubborn as always, but has managed to allow Buck to help him dress and shower - Ana is very much not allowed, despite her protests they're barely in a relationship.

· Eddie explains to Buck that yes, they've been together for six months but they've not really been togetherand he quietly admits that he regrets telling Chris so soon.

· Buck calms him and says that it was right to introduce Chris to the idea of Eddie dating, but yeah, maybe it wasn't smart to spring Ana on him so early - especially because she decided she had to be a bigger part of his life now he was aware.

· Chris manages to get to the station once while Buck is on shift.

· Buck comes back to Albert making him pancakes and Chris scribbling with the things they keep for the school trips.

· 'What are you doing here, bud? Does your dad know?'

· 'Kinda.'

· 'What does kinda mean here?'

· 'He knows I wanted to see you. I don't think he knows that I came here.'

· Albert quickly jumps in saying he's texted Eddie and he and Carla are on their way, it just happens that the rig got back before they got there.

· Buck sits down with Chris, leaning his head on his arms and looks at the picture. It's him, Eddie and Buck with Carla and her husband in the background.

· 'What's wrong, Chris?'

· 'Ana.'

· 'Ok, what did she do?'

· 'Tried to get me to bath before I ate and then said I had to do my homework before TV time.'

· 'Buddy, you always have to do your homework before TV time.'

· 'But she tried to help me.'

· 'Your dad and I try our best to help you. She's a teacher, she's better use than us.'

· 'No that's not it.'

· Chris has tears in his eyes and a death grip on his crayon.

· 'She told the poor boy his handwriting was ineligible and took his pencil, tried to get him to tell her the answers and that she would write them for him.' Carla sighs.

· She stands with her arms open and Chris runs into them. Eddie looms behind them, looking sad.

· Well, neutral really, but Buck knows his micro expressions well enough.

· After that Ana is banned from the house in the afternoons/evenings and Carla steps back in. The new problem is Ana turning up when Buck has days off - their schedule was she was here when Buck wasn't, for multiple reasons.

· Ana's great, there's just something about her that Buck doesn't like and she definitely doesn't like Buck. Maybe it's because they're just opposites.

· Eddie tries to gently tell her that he barely gets to see Buck anymore and he needs it for his mental health. Ana starts pestering about the fact that he should want to see his girlfriend more than his best friend.

· It's one of their biggest fights and turns into a screaming match one night (Chris is at Hen's with Denny but Buck is hiding away in the guest room) where Eddie shouts that she had decided that she was his girlfriend without asking Eddie if that was what he wanted and she was suffocating.

· She leaves pretty quickly after that and Buck is incredibly happy as their paths never cross again.

· There's an emptiness settling in his chest when he finds out that the two are still together and are treating the relationship as though they're just dating again. He hates that he really doesn't like the idea that it's working out now that they're on even footing.

· He decides to push it away and starts getting reckless again. Taylor's hanging around the station more like she wants more from Buck, but he'd given up. She liked being chased and now that he's tired of it, she wants him. He knows she'll get bored if he shows interest again.

· It's interest he doesn't have. Eddie had called him Evan and told him he deserved more. How was he supposed to go back to normal after that?

· Why doesn't Eddie see how life changing that was?

· Eddie does. But in typical Eddie fashion, he pushes it deep down and replaces it with his content being with Ana. She makes his parents happy, which makes him happy. She gets along with Pepa and Isabel and his sisters, but they act a lot more familial with Buck.

· It makes sense, he tells himself - they've had years with Buck.

· Nothing really changes for Buck until TK and Judd find themselves in LA. Buck hastily explains to TK that he wasn't asking him out back in Austin, he just wanted a friend and really he wasn't attracted to guys.

· TK just straight up laughs at Buck.

· 'Buckley, you checked me, Carlos, and the barista out in the span of like five minutes. You're a little attracted to guys.'

· 'Wait, you mean you and Diaz ain't datin'?'

· Judd's question throws Buck through a loop.

· 'What? No...we're just...we're friends. Best friends.'

· TK laughs again, patting Buck on the shoulder.

· Once they're on their last day, TK takes Buck out for a drink like he'd promised. Buck tries to ignore the fact he's brought him to a gay bar.

· He gets hit on at least three times in an hour, not to mention the building collection of beers for both him and TK and he decides he doesn't actually mind it.

· 'Ok, I want you to do something for me. Scan the crowd and pick a guy, any guy, and tell me what you find attractive about him.'

· Buck picks out a shorter man, tanned skin and dark hair.

· 'He's got a cute smile.'

· 'Oh boy, you have a type.'

· 'Huh?'

· 'He looks like Eddie.'

· And he does. Like a Walmart version of Eddie though. He didn't laugh like Eddie, didn't have the same laugh lines. Or frown lines. His eyes weren't as warm when he met Buck's nor did he smile as fondly. And...

· 'Fuck.'

· 'You just now realizing your feelings for him?'

· 'Yeah. How did I not know?'

· 'Honestly, it was probably such a subtle shift. From what you've told me you've basically been a couple for a year and a half, so you didn't realize anything had changed for you.'

· 'I've never denied it.'

· 'I mean you clearly must have.'

· 'No. I meant that there have been so many times people assumed Eddie and I were a couple and I never denied it, I went along with it all.'

· 'Shit man, you had it bad before you even realized.'

· Buck groans as TK throws an arm around him, leaning against his shoulder.

· Things change after that. Buck is hesitant with physical touch with Eddie - it's his main love language and he needs to make sure he's not overdoing it and making Eddie uncomfortable.

· Eddie notices because of course, he does. Buck has pulled away from him for seemingly no reason. The second Eddie can dress, shower, and reach the high cabinets himself Buck is talking about going home.

· He is home.

· Eddie doesn't say it, he just hums, not really agreeing. He's gotten used to Buck being around and so has Chris. They'd easily fallen back into their quarantine routine and now Buck would be leaving again.

· A quick thought of getting shot again fills Eddie's head. Though this time it's nothing to do with his PTSD and more so that he doesn't want Buck to leave. So he exaggerates just a little.

· 'You know, my PTSD is still acting up. Maybe, you could stay until it balances out a little?'

· 'You'd want me to?'

· 'Yeah, you're great at getting me out and calming me and Christopher down.'

· 'You don't think Ana should start taking up some night shifts?'

· 'I don't really want her to deal with that side of me yet.'

· 'Okay.'

· 'Okay?'

· 'Yeah, I'll stay.'

· Eddie keeps an eye on Buck just as much as he keeps an eye on Eddie. He quickly realizes that Buck is holding in his own troubles. He knows from experience that Buck does not think his problems are anywhere near as bad as everyone else's. He has a lot of unlearning to do.

· Subtly, Eddie starts talking to him about his mental state, his worries, trying to let Buck know it's ok to do the same.

· When he and Ana inevitably break up not even a month later, it's Buck that he tells first.

· Buck, who has his back.

· Buck, who loves Christopher as his own.

· Buck, who is insecure about everything he does except saving people.

· Buck, who thinks he is unworthy and undeserving of love.

· Buck, who shows his love through acts of kindness and physical affection.

· Buck, who Eddie is so unapologetically in love with and probably has been for years.

· The revelation doesn't shock him like he thought it would. More so, it was a natural progression of their relationship.

· Friends. Best friends. Co-parents. Co-habiting. Partners. Partners.

· Eddie sees a future with Buck, a future he'd only ever seen with Shannon but it's so much brighter.

· He comes home from his first shift back - Buck wasn't working and offered to look after Christopher so Eddie knew he was safe - to find Buck on the couch, staring into an empty beer bottle.

· 'Hey?' it's broken and Eddie drops his things to rush over to him.

· 'You good?'

· 'No. I'm not.'

· Buck looks up, tears in his eyes, cheeks red and puffy.

· 'What's going on, Evan?'

· That's all it takes. He breaks. He babbles about watching Eddie die over and over in his dreams. How sometimes the shower will splash his face just so and he's thrown back with Eddie's blood on his face. How he was trying to get through it with Dr. Copeland but it wasn't helping.

· Nothing was helping.

· 'It's ok. I'm here, I'm okay.'

· 'You weren't. You died, Eds. You died on me.'

· 'You saved me.'

· 'What if I hadn't? I don't know a life without you anymore. I can't lose another person I love.'

· 'You love me?'

· 'Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?'

· Buck registers his words, quickly backing away from Eddie and tries to make a break for the open door. Eddie isn't letting him run away anymore. His wrist snakes around Buck's.

· 'Evan. I told you there wasn't anyone else I'd want to look after Christ. I told you you weren't expendable. I said that because I love you and you needed to hear it. You had to learn you deserved love. Love that Chris shows you. Love that I can show you. I love you so much, Evan Buckley.'

· Buck crumples in Eddie's arms, Eddie rocks him gently until the sobs subside.

· It's not an immediate or obvious change. There are still things the two need to work through.

· It's different but the same. There's more contact now; hugs, tactile hands on waists, and backs at work. Kisses in the bunk, soft and slow.

· It's new and exciting. Especially when they finally get together, officially and exclusively.

· Chris loves telling everyone about his two dads.

· Eddie and Buck are happier, closer.

· Buck had always been a Diaz. He'd always had a family who loved him. The big change was he got to love them both endlessly in return.

[shoezuki]

I appreciate Bad and Puffy a lot for saying good things about Techno lately, also Philza for mentioning how much of a fucking hell twitter is and for continuing to make it clear he is friends with Techno. Tommy commentating on Technos tweet? Fantastic. Niki and Sophie both also saying good things about him? Queens.

Twitter is fucking hell and the fact that if Ranboo said anything regarding that, he would probably get stabbed by a good amount of his fanbase (considering how many pfps of him I have seen on the really fucked up antis) is fucking disgusting.

Those people are not surviving real issues nor life outside a screen.

HONEST TO GOD YA!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE i Love the ccs for sayin so much Good bout techno n Obbiously they aint ditchin him. Cus hes a good dude n Theyre Friend.

N like w ranboo in particular. Techno literally was a huge inspiration for him. He had those 'walmart technoblade' jokes when he was jus gettin big. It should be so Obvious that he too cares for techno yet so much of his 'fans' r the ones pullin techno drama bullshit on twitter, that like if he Really said anything u dont doubt he'd be a 'traitor' to em

I honestly doubt that like. Most of those shotty ppl on twitter arent even fans of ranboo. They jus label him as 'unproblematic' n follow him as some sort of superiority complex and 'my cc isnt racist!!!' Type shit. N i feel bad for ranboo

[totallynot]

random DSMP observations, inferences, head canons and random thoughts because i can't sleep

except i only really pay attention to tommy, tubbo, techno, hannah, jack and somewhat puffy's storylines.

I also watch just the tale part of tftsmp and watched the first two las nevadas thing but im not super into the plot of them.

implied c! before every name

tw: reference to suicide

sbi family dynamic is canon and you can't change my mind

hc: tommy didn't mean to land in the water after he jumped

we still don't know why tommy is immune to the egg

tommy has a piece of the egg that's not locked away

hc: I hate the weird ass eret god arc and I pretend it's not real bc eret as a villain that really regrets their actions and has even gotten forgiveness to some extent is so interesting on its own

if puffy wasn't already a knight or whatever she should've become a knight once the egg arc is actually done

if puffy isn't the secret syndicate member I'm suing

hannah has so much potential to be a literary foil to sam and I'd like to see their friendship expanded upon

boomer and austin show are both not whitelisted but canonically dead

hc: snowchester is true communism

whenever phil says tommy isn't his son he hc: means it in a disowned kinda way and he's never taken it back despite their healing relationship

hc: techno and phil aren't really that mad at tommy still, they just refuse to give in for the principal of it

wilbur was an extreme gaslighter during pogtopia

connoreatspants knows about karl, is one of the few people tommy trusts, and misses schlatt

kinoko kingdom is like a game you buy but never really end up playing and it looks cool so no one takes it but in reality it just sits there unused

hc: tommy also has a white streak from being brought back but it's small

dreamxd is a dreamon that has nothing to do with dream

drista is tommy's friend who also happens to be a god

quackity is just a walmart version of a jschlatt-wilbur villainous lovechild

revived wilbur does care about tommy but he cares about power and control more

why does niki care so much about wilbur? i don't get it at all

the hotel is gonna be destroyed at some point. there's no doubt in my mind.

hc: the badlands members are all monstrous hybrids that have a very different culture and that's why they can exist without really getting into anyone else's politics

is everyone just gonna ignore that time tubbo went north and turned on a weird texture pack and everything was terrifying and then turned it off as if nothing happened?? I feel like that's definitely important and no one is talking about it??

glatt's gym was only available to ghosts, not people in purgatory. ghostbur was there, not wilbur. therefore the crying boy glatt described was tommy's ghost. ghostbur was always happy but ghostinnit was always sad.

hc technically but it's very heavily implied to be true in canon: when you're asleep in purgatory, your ghost roams amongst the alive

tommy and sapnap have the exact same moral system and they're probably the best moral systems out of everyone on the smp

l'sandberg plot is so good and has petwars energy

ranboo lowkey has a superiority complex

anyways that was fun. please interact if you read all of this cause id love to have a conversation about it. let me know if you agree or disagree with something or if you want something explained :D

[demigodgooglesearches]

"too young to be a 90s kid but close" (aka 00s kid) aesthetic:

-nyan cat, llams with hats

-owls. everybody loves owls--

-minecraft before the jungle biome. minecraft hunger game servers.

-slap bracelets

-long sleves under tank tops...jean skirts with... leggings.... dc shoes... shell shoes...

those 60 seconds multiplication tables. the big blocks with 100 squares, but the strips of ten squares, the single squares? also shape wooden blocks. yellow hexagons, green triangles, blue diamonds, youd make pictures with them.

-morning circle. playing 7 up at school. FOUR CORNERS

-u knew the cookout was lit when they had huggies those juice barrel drinks that u bite the top foil

-sillybands

-nintendogs on your grey ds plus cooking mama

-remembering vaguely having to use a cd player as a kid, then an mp3, than an ipod-

-zebra. print. everything.

-japanese erasers

-duct tape purses

-the justin bieber sounds like a girl debate

-yo danny phantom hE wAS JUST 14

-shark boy and lava girl. sky high. stewart little. minutemen. halloweentown. the thirteenth year (mermaid). smart house. spy kids. twitches. princess protection program (bonus points if you watched it live and counted how many times they said princess). lemonade mouth.

-staying up late enough to see george lopez start to play

- "mom how do you spell cartoonnetwork whats the website"

- that weird fosters home for imaginary friends mmo

- fucking TOONTOWN

- "disney!! three six five!!!!!"

- microsoft paint created MASTERPIECES

- was... was kidpix a thing

-bill nye the science guy and liberty kids

-alvin and the chipmunks covers.

- school store! get me a pencil grip for a quarter.

-crimp your hair bitch... or straighten it. or clip in feathers. or strands of dye-

-bakugan and tech decks

-wheezers 'beverly hills' on the playground. we will rock you on the bus.

-camp rock. highschool musical. epic disney crossovers.

-if you didnt have a blog on blogspot.com you weren't shit (with the extension where you could feed the fish)

-lisa frank folders or those folders with close up of dogs and cat faces

-having to learn the fucking recorder. hot crossed buns... hOt croSssED BUNS,,,,

-did anyone play that weird wizard typing quest

-SMENCILS

-clUb PENGUIN. wizard 101. pirates of the carribean online. webkinz.

-everything is not what it seems when u can get all you wanted in ur wildest dreams

-popular snacks at snack time,,,: gritz, gogurt, fruit roll ups tongue tattoos, zebra cakes, cheese dip crackers, those cookie crackers where u took the red stick and spread it... gushers

-in the wee hours of the night you could hear... hear the chia pets taunting you

-orbeez. monster gummies. hotwheels beat that. fur real friends. pillow pets. littlest pet shop. yugioh. bop it. floam. tamagotchis.

-iDog

-HAVING THE KICKASS SCOOTER THENN KNOCKING UR FUCKING KNEES OFF WITH IT FUCK THAT SHIT

- "HERE I AM IN UR LIFE... HERE U ARE IN MINE... YEAH WE GOT THE SWEET LIFE... MOSTT OF THE TIME"

-underdog. undeRDOG. UNDERDOG!

-when you were playing on the ps2 and u fucking lost the fucking MEMORY CARD

-SPYRO

-playing gta the one where the guy wears the blue shirt (liberty city? ) with the sound off... memorizing cheat codes... square circle square-

-the fucking wii... making miis for literally everyone in ur class and sending the ones you didnt like to the parade

-slap slap slap... clap clap clap... SLAP SLAP SLAP.... CLAP CLAP CLAP (i.e 3... 2... 1... BLAST OFF from here to the stars,)

-when the teacher rolled out the elmo projector and those transparent plastic papers

-megan, MEGAN! (i.e i ran over oprah.....)

-the dell computers took over

-bruh message me on msn... then skype

-making a facebook page. liking all the fucking dumb facebook pages you could

-pokemon

-Z̵͖͂Ô̶̘Ö̴͔́. ̵͉͊Z̷̭̊O̷̻͒Ô̸̟ ̴̛̞Z̸̭̕Ȏ̸̗O̴͎̊ ̴̡͑. P̵̧̈Ȃ̷͖L̴̞̚S̶̰̐

-okay those weird ass beads u always got for Christmas that you had to iron to make shapes

-the fortune tellers... pick a color... blue? okay b-l-u-e. OK now pick a number... ok ur gonna marry lindsay lohan and have 80 kids

-WHAT YHR FUCK ARE THOSE GHOST THEMED CEREALS CALLED??? BOOBERRY??? AH SHIT

-team edward vs team jacob determined your survival

-thE yEar tHree THOusAnD

-black eyed peas

-fucking angry birds and flappy bird murdered everyone

-HEELYS OH DEAR GOD HEELYS I ALMOST FELL AND SLIPPED INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION

-that rabits game... let them go to the moon

-THE PS2 SOUND UP NOISE. THE DOOOOOOOSH

-every dvd had that coming soon bullshit

-stealing ur cousins gameboy

-Sugar. Spice. And everything nice.

-that fucking monkey at some of some fucking tv shows what the fuck was that fucking- hi im paul,,

-asdf videos! (desmond the moon bear.. i like trians)

-if you didnt flip ur shit everytime u saw a yellow car and yell BUMBLEBEE

-when the phone rings in school "THE PHONE... THE PHONE IS RI N G ING"

-"WAZZZZUUPPP!!" "WHAZZAAAAHHP!!"

-kidz bop. wholet the dogs out... who who? who?

-We all want to forget .... annoying orange and fred but god wont let us..

-MY SHINY Teeth and ME.

-that weird ass spongebob half time episode where theyre in the dome... or the spongebob episode with wormy... or the spongebob episode with the hooks (dont touch the hooks) or david hasslehof in the spongebob movie...

-invader zim

-FLAPJACK THAT FUCKING NIGHTMARE SHOW. And chowder. Coraline gave me NIGHTMARES fuck!

- I LIke to move it move it...

-POPTROPICA

-where the sidewalk ends from the school library... with goosebumps and diary of a whimpy kid.. BOOK FAIRS

-leapfrog

-THOSE GYM SCOOTERS. FOUR SQUARE. KICKBALL. THE PARACHUTE THING.

-no one knew how to use a fucking green screen

-🎶 we the peoplee... in order to form a more perfect union...🎶 conjunction junction whats ur function 🎶 puff the magic dragon 🎶

THERES A HUNDRED AND FOUR DAYS OF SUMMER VACATION-

the original teen titans

teach me how to dougie. soldier boy. the hoedown throwdown. the hannah montana movie 3d they were giving 3d glasses away literally in walmart

bILLY MAYS AND SHAMWOW

[mariagreenwoodart]

The underworld saga got me screaming into my pillow 😭😭

[maria-greenwood-neighbour]

@simplylatte wanna be mutuals?

[maria-greenwood-taylors-version]

Hi! This blog is no longer in use. If you want to see the rest of my "Taylor Swift eras in my style" images, then please check out my main blog @mariagreenwoodart. I'm not deleting it because ✨reasons✨. (There's literally no reason)

[mypimpademia]

Mirio and Tamaki w a black s/o

Mirio x black!reader, Tamaki x black!reader

TW: Maybe some swearing

Note: Had to make them a whole other post bc they were supposed to be on a hc w Tendo but Tendos got too long😭

MIRIO

Mirio loves everyone

But seeing you was love at first sight

Hes going to be your best friend and your boyfriend at the same time

He'll do face masks with you, get mani pedis with you, and do wash day with you

He always helps you on wash day if he's able to

Hes extra gentle, especially if youre tender headed

And even if your hair is thick, he still manages to stay gentle while effectively combing it

He'll blow out your hair for you too

Mirio can also do faux locs and twists

But if he had to pic his favorite style, it'd be an afro

He just thinks it makes you look so care free and beautiful

10000% takes pictures of you

Like all the time

Anywhere

At home, outside, golden hour, Walmart, the fucking shower

You take up all his phone storage

Since he loves everyone, he's definitely a civil rights advocate

So if someone makes a racist comment, he'll educate them on black culture and the black lives movement and what it means (bc its an equal rights movement not black lives above others for all the racist idiots out there💞)

He's always telling you how beautiful you are

I feel like hes an early riser, and usually goes on a morning run, so you always wake up to cute texts

'Mirio💖😚'

Morning sunshine, about to go on my morning run. I just wanted to tell you that you're so beautiful, and I love you. Have a great day💖.

He respects you so much

Mirio has never said a single thing to disrespect you, even during arguments

Gives you kisses on LITERALLY every inch of your body

"I love you, honey."

TAMAKI

He's sooo soft for you in an instant

All you have to do is be in the same room as him and he'll malfunction

And if youre in close proximity to him???

Amajiki might actually cry

You make him feel like hes in the presence of a fucking god/goddess

When you start dating, it doesn't change

He will get less flustered in your presence, but being around you will always have him feeling some type of way

Helps you on wash day

Mostly helps you wash and rinse, he doesn't really know how to detangle and things like that

He likes seeing you with box braids

And a parted afro straight after a blow out when its still nice and puffy

Likes to touch your hair a lot (and asks before hand)

Racists definitely make him mad

But Amajiki is super shy and isn't really for upfront confrontation

So he'll just give them this extremely uncharacteristically mean look

He takes sneaky pictures of you

Ones that are candid

When you're sleeping, talking to someone, or just caught up in a show

If you feel bad about yourself, he'll tell you how amazing you are and kiss your forehead, cheeks, and thighs (Amajiki is a thigh guy, dont @ me)

"I-I love you, bunny."

[mosylufanfic]

Holding Out for a Hero

I’m so proud of myself, I finished a 12 Days of Killervibe prompt at the last minute!

Holding Out for a Hero

Caitlin pinched the bridge of her nose, breathing out against the burn in her eyes. No matter how she juggled the numbers, they always came out red in the end.

"Dammit, Daddy," she muttered.

The bell over the door jingled, and she jerked her head up, pasting a bright retail smile on her face. "Welcome to Jack Frost Toys!" she called out, quickly minimizing the accounting software. "Are you looking for anything specific?"

Usually they weren't. Usually, they came in, wandered around a little bit, and left. If she was lucky, they bought something before they left.

But the man standing just inside the door, snow dusting his hat and shoulders, said, "Yeah, please, I'm begging you. You're my only hope."

She cocked her head and guessed, "A . . . Star Wars toy?" There wasn't any particularly hot Star Wars toy this year that she was aware of, and she followed every toy blog and website she could find. 

He laughed, tugging his gloves off and shoving them in his pocket. "No, just a desperate nerd looking for a Puffy Penguin. My niece is three and she watches the show on repeat. I know Leo Lion is like the hot toy this year, but Maya knows what she wants. For her it's Puffy or nothin', and I couldn't tell if you had any from your website so I came down here just in case and please?" He widened his eyes at her. "Please."

Her heart melted. One of the best things about this store was seeing children find their new best friend. Second on that list was adults who cared enough about the children in their life that they moved heaven and earth to find, not just the latest hottest toy, but the toy that was just right.

She slid off her stool. "I've got some ZooFriends toys right over here. We're sold out of Leo, of course -" Everywhere was sold out of Leo. "But I've got Puffy in a variety of styles."

"Oh my god," he breathed, snatching a Puffy Penguin stuffie off the shelf and holding it as if it were the Holy Grail. "You've got them all. Elly and Slowpoke and Skyhigh - " He stared at the elephant, sloth, and giraffe toys lined up next to the penguins.

She smiled brightly. "Now this one says phrases from the show, but this one is a lot huggier if you ask me -"

"I'll take them both," he said, grabbing the talking Puffy. "Holy shit. Nowhere has ZooFriends anymore. How do you?"

She bit her lip. "Lucky, I guess." She stepped away and grabbed one of the plastic hand baskets printed with the store logo. "Would you like a basket?"

He took it. "Really? Because it's three in the afternoon on the first Saturday of December. A toy store should be wall-to-wall. Where is everybody?"

She turned away. "Amazon," she said. "Walmart. Websites, chain stores -" She shrugged and tried to laugh. "The plight of the modern small business owner. Is there anything else I can help you find?"

"I'll keep looking around," he said, studying the shelf. "So you're the owner?"

She nodded. "This store has been in my family for five generations."

He almost dropped the basket. "Five - Did they even have toys that long ago?"

"Oh, toys have been around as long as humans have had childhood! Did you know they've found marbles in Egyptian tombs? And dolls in archaeological digs. Toys are how children learn about the world, and how they start to decide their identities and practice interactions with others! They . . ." She trailed off, blushing. "Sorry, my major was psychology and I did my senior thesis on the role of play in early childhood development."

He held up a hand. "Hey, I'm the last person to shame anybody for nerding out. That's pretty awesome. You're in the right business."

"For right now, anyway," she murmured. 

"What?"

She smiled brightly. "I don't suppose you have any more nieces or nephews that need Christmas presents?"

He studied her for a moment. "Do you have any action figures?"

"Collectible or to play with?"

"Collectible?" he said hopefully.

She led him down the aisle and to the back wall. His eyes went wide. "Oh my god, you've got Max Mercury, black series." He grabbed it off the wall. "And Brainiac? This is a great section!"

She smiled. "My dad invested in these because he was hoping to bring in the collectors."

"Well, he made good choices." He picked the Braniac from its spot and turned it over in his hands, studying it closely. 

She left him to it and went back to the counter. She didn't feel like agonizing over the accounts when he was still here, so she cleaned the counter, dusted the book corner, and rearranged the ZooFriends shelf to fill in the empty spots he'd left when he took the two Puffy toys.

After half an hour, he came up to the counter with an overflowing basket, most of it action figures. With her heart singing the song of small business owners, she scanned them briskly.  His purchases came out to well over two hundred dollars. It was a drop in the bucket of her costs, of course, but it was a bigger drop than most. 

He handed her his credit card without a wince. When she ran it, his name popped up on her screen. She handed it back with the receipt. "Here you go, Mr. Ramon."

"Cisco," he said. "Please. Mr. Ramon is my pop."

"Cisco," she said. "I can wrap these if you want."

"Just the Puffys," he said. "The action figures are for me."

She grinned at him and selected a print of happy reindeer to wrap the stuffed animals. "Naturally."

He laughed self-consciously. "I'm not sure whether to be insulted or not. I promise I'm a grown-up man."

"Of course you are," she said, hands busily folding and taping. A really nicely grown-up man, too. She battled back her blush and hoped he hadn't noticed. "But I'll never look down on any adult who still likes toys."

"Well, sure, that's a good hundred and fifty dollars of my total."

"There's that," she acknowledged, setting aside the first perfectly wrapped box and picking up the second.  "But toys are important to children's imaginations. And children grow into adults, who still need their imaginations." She nodded at the Max Mercury he held. "I don't think any of us ever really outgrow the desire to be someone's hero."

"Well," he said, "you're my hero today."

She met his eyes and felt the blush rise again. "Thank you."

He grinned and accepted the bag with the two wrapped presents inside. "And come Christmas morning, I'll be Maya's hero."

She smiled. "She's lucky to have an uncle doing his best to find her the perfect present. I'm glad you came by today."

"Yeah, well, it was coming out here or spending a hundred and seventy-five dollars on eBay and hoping like hell it made it here in time." He fiddled with his wallet. "I really don't mean to be that guy, but your website is . . ."

Her face went hot and she made a business of putting away the scissors and the tape and rolling up the rest of the wrapping paper. "Archaic?"

"I was going to say behind the times," he said tactfully. "If you had web ordering, you'd be sold out of ZooFriends and a whole bunch of other stuff."

"I know," she said. "But I really haven't had the time to get a good system set up since I took over the store. I need inventory software that integrates with ecommerce and for that I need technical skills, money, and time, and I don't have any of those."

He leaned on the counter. "You don't have to tell me, but how did it get this bad? You clearly love this place and I really don't feel like you would have let it fall behind like this if you had a choice."

She chewed her lip. "My dad died in September."

Sympathy spread over his features. Not the plastic, practiced sympathy she'd seen so often, but real compassion. "I'm sorry. Was he sick?"

"He had MS," she said. "He'd had it since I was ten, and he'd always kept on top of his medication and his therapy and everything. So - " She looked down at the perfectly clean counter and wiped it off again. "So when I was away at school and he told me he was doing fine, I believed him."

"He wasn't doing fine," Cisco guessed.

She shook her head. Tears burned in her eyes again. "It probably started small. Just little things falling through the cracks. Then the cracks got bigger, more things fell through. . . ."

He nodded. "They tend to do that."

"Mhm. Then last spring, he had an assistant manager who embezzled a lot of money - "

"What!"

"They caught him!" Caitlin assured him. "But most of the money was gone, and the stress of that just sent my dad's health into a tailspin. I'd just graduated so I moved back home to take care of him."

"And I'm gonna guess you were so wrapped up in that, you didn't even realize what was going on with the store until you took over."

She sighed. "Got it in one." She mustered up a smile. "I didn’t mean to dump that on you. It's bad now, but things will come around. They always do. The holidays are the best time of year to be a toy seller."

"Yeah," he said. "They sure are." He smiled back and gathered his purchases. "I'll tell people about this place."

"Great," she said. "Here's my card, by the way."

"Caitlin Snow," he read off the little rectangle of cardstock. 

"That's me. Let me know if you have any particular collectibles you'd like me to obtain."

"Hmm?" He was looking at his phone. "Uh, yeah, if I think of any, I'll give you a shout. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," she echoed, watching him leave. The jingle of the bell over the door echoed in the toy store's emptiness.

**

Walking back around the building to his car, Cisco snapped a pic of the business card Caitlin Snow had given him. Then he dialed a number on his phone and wedged it between his shoulder and his ear as he pulled on his gloves. "Hey, Iris? Got a moment?"

"Hi, Cisco. Half a moment. My editor's breathing down my neck again about finding some heartwarming story to fill up Sunday space."

"Yeah, I remember you mentioning that. What would you say to a struggling fifth-generation local toy store owner who just took over the business after her dad's death, carries everything from ZooFriends stuffies to high-end collectibles, and knows toys backwards and forwards?"

Iris paused and he could practically hear the gears clicking. "Tell me more."

**

A week before Christmas, Cisco finally found a good excuse to drop by Jack Frost Toys again. With the name of a rare collectible action figure in his pocket, he turned into the parking lot and found it jam packed. He finally managed to wedge his little car into a space half on the gravel and climb out.

This was a good sign, right?

When he walked in the front door, the girl behind the counter wasn't Caitlin. "Welcome to Jack Frost Toys!" she called out before returning her attention to the grandma-looking lady at her counter. "We absolutely do gift certificates. How much would you like that for?"

The place was transformed. There was no other word for it.

When he'd come in the last time, it had been neat and bright and colorful, but empty and somehow sad. Now there were people in every aisle, voices ringing off the rafters. He cut down the doll aisle and almost stepped on a kid sprawled out on his belly, leafing through a colorful picture book. A little girl was staring at the Barbies as if she were deciding the fate of nations. A couple of moms were talking to each other over the Lego sets.

"It's just such a cute little place! It was getting so run-down there for awhile, but this new owner’s really spruced it up."

"I used to come here when I was Mandy's age and it always seemed like the most magical place to me. I'd forgotten all about it, honestly, but we're coming back."

Cisco smiled to himself and edged around them to the collectibles wall. 

The door to the stock room opened and Caitlin came out, arms loaded down with what seemed to be flat-folded gift boxes. She stopped short when she saw Cisco. "Hi!"

"Hey," he said, smiling at her. She was wearing reindeer antlers and her hair was up in a bouncy ponytail. "You're busy."

"We are! I'm sorry, I've got to -"

"Yeah, go ahead."

She went to the front counter and stashed the gift boxes underneath. "Allegra," she said to the girl who'd greeted Cisco as he came in. "I just got off the phone with our supplier and they'll have more wrap here tomorrow. Can we hold out?"

"It'll be tight, but we should be okay."

"Great. I'll be back to cover your break in a few minutes, okay?"

"Take your time, I'm good."

Caitlin edged back around the counter and paused to check in with the moms. She considered their questions, looked around, and plucked a few sturdy wooden toys from a lower shelf. "I really like this designer for the textures they incorporate," she explained. "Babies enjoy being able to experience different kinds of material as they explore the toy, and it stimulates their brain development. Have a look at these. I'll be right here if you have any questions."

"Thanks so much."

She beamed and moved on. 

Cisco watched her consult with the little Barbie lover and pick out a second book for the reader, as well as four or five other small interactions. It was like watching Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel or Einstein doing calculations on a chalkboard. She was in her element.

She came around the end of the aisle and spotted him again. Her face lit up. "I'm so glad you came by again." She threw her arms around him.

"Uh," he said. "Hi again to you too." He gave her a quick hug back.

She pulled away, blushing. "Sorry. I - I just wanted to thank you. I know the article in the paper was your doing." 

"Oh," he said. "No, that was nothing. I just called up a friend. She's the one who did the interview and that great photo - "

 Iris had been savvy enough to pose Caitlin by her display of the coveted ZooFriends toys. Cisco had noticed how bare the shelf looked now. 

" - and you were the one who made this shop so amazing that once people knew it was still here, they came."

"But none of it would have happened if you hadn't put it in motion. You said I was your hero that day for having the Puffys, but you’re my hero now.

“Pshaw,” he said. “Like you said, nobody grows out of that.”

“But not everybody does something. So. Thank you."

"Well, you're welcome." He looked around. "So you're doing pretty good, it looks like."

She nodded, beaming. "People started coming in after that article, and PalmerTech asked me to purchase toys in bulk for the families at their company holiday party. All my part-time workers are doing as many hours as they can, and I'll be able to pay the rent for January and February, and if it keeps going like this, I can hire somebody to revamp the inventory system for ecommerce." 

She ran out of breath and panted for a moment, her eyes bright.

Cisco had to smile back at her. "That's amazing."

She nodded. "I mean, we're still competing with Walmart and Amazon, and we still took a real hit from what Jay did. So we're not out of the woods, but this - " She looked around, eyes still bright. "This is going to give us some breathing room.   

"I'm really glad."

She turned her smile back on him and stole his breath. "Sorry, I'm just chattering away, and - did you come by looking for something else? Another collectible?"

"Ah - well, I was planning to ask about the limited edition Star Wars figures they're talking about for next year."

"I don't think I'm going to be able to order any of those until March, but I can definitely get your contact information."

"Oh. Okay, sure. But actually it was an excuse."

Her brows crinkled. "An excuse?"

"I really wanted to come by and see if you wanted to go get coffee or something. Sometime." He looked around. "I mean, maybe not right now because it's still December and you're slammed, which is great, but - "

"I'd like that."

His stomach filled up with warmth, like drinking an entire mug of hot chocolate. "You would?"

"Very much." 

They smiled shyly at each other until Allegra called out, "Caitlin? A little help?" She had a line that stretched halfway down the doll aisle.

"Oh!" Caitlin said. "Uh, I should - "

"Yeah! Go. I'll hang around until you're free, and then I'll get your phone number."

"Okay." She gave him one last smile before rushing up to the counter and opening up a register. "I can help who's next over here! Oh, sweetheart, that's a great choice. Your best friend is going to love it."

Cisco watched her for a moment, smiling to himself, and then turned to browse the collectibles. She'd been right, he mused. The holidays really were the best time of year to be a toy seller.

FINIS

[watchmegetobsessed]

“We can’t be friends anymore.” (Shawn Mendes)

i had this thought about this story this morning and just had to write it. please keep it in mind that this is just fiction! don’t come at me after reading this lol

5.2k angst and fluff at the end

drabble list masterlist

You feel betrayed. Like you’ve been just stabbed in your chest, multiple times by the person who is the closest to it. Sorrow takes over your body in waves as you stare at the screen of your phone that’s flooded with pictures of the guy you’ve been in love with since forever and the girl he always said was just a friend for him, holding hands, smiling at each other in a way that makes your stomach churn.

Texts keep popping up from your friends, checking in on you. The picture just got out and they are all concerned about how you are taking the news that Shawn and Camila are kind of official. It’s not even the fact that they are together. Well, it is, it’s making you want to scream till you lose consciousness, but there is something that’s just making it worse. He didn’t even tell you.

You had to find out about it from some damned paparazzi pictures on your Instagram feed. The guy who has been your best friend for almost a decade didn’t take the effort to let you know that he is dating someone. That’s what hurts the most.

A hot teardrop rolls down on your cheek as you finally make yourself exit the app and locking the phone you throw it to the couch as you take some deep breaths, trying your best not to totally break down. You tell yourself it’s not even that serious, it doesn’t hurt that bad, but it does. It’s making your chest feel like it’s about to burst, your limbs numb, vision blurry from the relentless tears in your eyes.

Your phone buzzes again, it’s another text from someone with the same “u okay?” message, but you don’t want to talk to anyone right now. You just want to mope all day with ice-cream and chocolate under your hands, stuffing yourself. Unfortunately, you have the whole day ahead of you and you can’t afford to disappear and not do anything.

It’s sometime after three in the afternoon when Shawn calls you. You’re in the middle of Walmart, your last stop before you head home and finally rest. Standing at the dairy aisle you hesitate as you stare down at the photo of you and him on the screen. It was taken on your eighteenth birthday, he surprised on your party, telling you that he wouldn’t be able to make it but then out of nowhere he just walked into the backyard with the widest grin on his face. Your mom took the picture, he hugged you from behind, pressing his face to yours as you laughed happily. A nice memory that feels tainted right now. The two of you talked about a lot that evening when the guests were long gone. Sitting by the pool, legs in the water.

“What if I never find the one?” you remember him asking. He was moping about some girl turning him down in a restaurant.

“Don’t say that,” you nudged him with your shoulder. “We have time.”

The way he smiled at you that moment made your heart skip a beat. You wanted him to tell you that he wants to be with you, that you are the one for him. Your mouth felt dry as you thought about telling him how you feel, something you’ve been thinking about for so long. But you couldn’t make yourself do it, again. Instead, this is what came out of your mouth:

“We’ll have each other even if we are still single at thirty.”

There was something in his smile, something you couldn’t really put your finger on, but it made your whole body shiver. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer to him as the two of you stared at the rings on the water your legs created on the surface.

“I know. I’ll always have you and I’m so lucky for that.”

That night made you feel like there was hope, that he might feel the same way, but it has been two years since then and today made you give hope up totally.

You stare down at the phone and answer the call last minute probably, before he could have hung up.

“Hey,” you softly say, your whole body tensed up, afraid of even hearing his voice.

“Hey!” he greets you delighted. “So what are you doing tonight? I’m having a few people over and you could come over as well.”

Your hand turns into fist next to your side as you grip hard on the phone. It’s making you feel sick how carefree he sounds, like nothing really happened. For him, nothing did, but for you… the world has changed.

“Um, I don’t know,” you mumble under your breath. To be honest it’s the last thing you want to do, face him when you just want to cry yourself to sleep.

“Oh come on! I haven’t seen you in weeks, I want to hug my best friend!”

His words feel like a punch in your stomach. Tears are dwelling in your eyes, threatening to make you break down in the middle of the store. Covering the mic of the phone you sniff a few before replying to him.

“Sure. I’ll go over,” you say knowing well he wouldn’t leave you alone until you say yes. You’ll just go there, hang out for an hour and then leave saying your headache is killing you, which is kind of true.

“Amazing! Come any time after six.”

Ending the call the tears keep rolling down on your cheeks, making people stare at you, some of them confused, but most of them give you a sympathetic look as you wipe your face and continue shopping with red puffy eyes, sobbing to yourself while grabbing all the stuff you need.

 ***

 Shawn and you kissed once. It happened about one and a half years ago, when he was about to leave for his festival tour. You were over at his place a few days before he was supposed to leave, just spending some quality time together. You ordered Chinese and watched Netflix, at one point he popped a bottle of wine… and then another one. Getting drunk together was never a problem, you just messed around, talking about the weirdest stuff, but that time was different. Maybe it was the weight of his leaving, or something else, you can’t recall. You were sitting on the kitchen floor, drinking the lasts of the wine. You were extremely emotional, talking about your deepest fears as he had an arm around your shoulders, listening to you.

“I’m just… I’m so afraid I’ll end up alone,” you sobbed, wiping your face with the palm of your hand.

“Don’t say that, you won’t end up alone. You’ll always have me, okay?”

“But you’ll end up marrying some amazing girl and then I’ll be forgotten.”

“Hey.” Lifting your chin up with his fingers he made you look into his eyes. “I’ll never forget about you. I can never do that. Understood?”

You just nodded your head, staring up into his beautiful eyes when you realized that he is leaning closer. You didn’t move, completely frozen as his lips slowly touched yours. They tasted salty from your own tears as he gently took your bottom lip between his. It took you some time to make yourself move and finally kiss him back. It soon turned into something more passionate and raw as you pushed yourself up and let him deepen it, his tongue slipping into your mouth. You made out on the kitchen floor like two teenagers, shutting the whole world out.

That night you slept in his arms in his bed as he didn’t let you go home drunk. When you woke up in the morning he was still fast asleep. Your heart was aching as you told yourself that everything that happened last night was out of pity. You didn’t think he would have done it if it wasn’t for you pouring your heart out about fearing loneliness. You left before he woke up and it was never discussed, strengthening you in your belief that he didn’t really mean it.

As you pull up at his rental home and park in the line of cars on the driveway this memory keeps playing in your mind over and over again until you step your foot inside and it gets lost in the voices of the people in there.

You are greeted by a lot of familiar faces as you know most of Shawn’s friends. Brian and Connor hugs you tight upon seeing you and while Brian rushes out to get you an alcohol free drink Connor gives you a look.

“How are you holding up?” he asks. He knows how you feel about Shawn. You didn’t tell him, he figured it out sometime when you were traveling with them on the European leg of the tour. One night he came over to your room and asked you straight forward if you had feelings for Shawn. You were so surprised you couldn’t even get out a proper answer and it gave him just the perfect reply to his question. Luckily he promised to keep your little secret and he has been your support ever since whenever it came to your feelings for Shawn.

“I’m trying,” you sigh with a tired smile. He squeezes your arm gently.

“I’m sorry you had to find out like this, I already told him it was an ass move. I think he will want to talk to you about it. I wanted to tell you myself but I felt like it’s not my territory.”

“It’s alright,” you tell him, but your stomach churns thinking about having to face Shawn and talk about Camila. You don’t feel like you’re ready for that.

It makes you angry that he always told you how he is just friends with her. You asked him several times if he had feelings for her but he always denied and yet he is still together with her now. He wasn’t honest with you and it’s just making everything worse for you.

Brian returns with you drink and the topic is dropped since he doesn’t know about your feelings. You have a nice chat with them, listening to their updates about what has been happening to them when you see Connor’s eyes look over your shoulder and the expression on his face tells you that Shawn is somewhere behind you.

When a large, familiarly warm hand touches your bare shoulder you curse yourself for not changing your tank top to something that covers more of your skin.

“Hey, when did you arrive?” he smiles down at you embracing you in a hug and you force yourself to wrap your arms around his torso.

“Not long ago. I was just catching up with these two,” you say nodding at the guys.

“Mind if I steal her for a little?” Shawn asks his friends.

“You’ll be fine,” Connor mouths to you as him and Brian leave and Shawn leads you to his bedroom so you can talk privately.

Your grip onto your drink hard, thanking Brian that he got you a glass not just a red solo cup that would have been already butchered by your nervous fingers. You don’t sit down, just stop somewhere at his dresser and turning around you wait for him to talk.

“Listen, I know I messed up. I should have told you about me and Camila earlier. But it all happened so fast and I didn’t have time to adjust.”

“You could have called me or something, a little heads-up would have been nice,” you tell him, anger and jealousy building up in you. “I had to find out that my best friend has a girlfriend from Instagram.”

“I know, and I’m sorry!” Taking a few steps towards you he stops just a couple of feet away from you, regret all over his beautiful face. “I was stupid, okay?”

“Yeah, you were,” you mumble crossing your arms on your chest.

“But you’re still my best friend and I’m telling you now. I’ll tell you all about it, filling you in on everything you want.”

You shake your head, tears forming in your eyes once again and you just hate yourself for being so emotional. Why can’t you be just cold and not care about it that much?

“Don’t,” you whisper, still shaking your head. You see his face drop as he realizes you are about to cry. Closing the distance between you and him he puts his hands on your arms and tries to look into your eyes, but you are avoiding his gaze with everything in you.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Did it upset you this much? I’m sorry, I didn’t know it would hurt you so bad,” he rambles, trying to find out what’s happening and you can’t stop your sobs. He tries to pull you to his chest to comfort you, but you push him away, almost spilling your drink on him. You don’t need his arms around you, that would just make it even more painful and you had enough for today.

“Stop it, Shawn,” you plead turning away as you wipe your cheeks.

“Talk to me, Y/N! I’m your best friend, I want to help you.”

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” he asks confused.

“We can’t be friends anymore.”

The words almost burn your throat, never in a million years have you thought you would be saying this, especially not to Shawn. But your heart has spoken and this is the only way for you to heal. To stop acting like you’re fine, like nothing is wrong.

“What are you talking about?”

“You, I’m talking about you,” you choke out. “I can’t be friends with you because it hurts too much.”

“Is this still about me not telling you in time? Because I swear to God it wasn’t anything against you, it just slipped my mind!”

“It’s not about that. It’s about… Camila,” you say, not sure how to express yourself. Your thoughts are racing and your head is about to explode.

“You don’t like her?” he asks running his fingers through his hair and you shut your eyes closed. Why doesn’t he understand what you are trying to say?

“I don’t like her because… Because I want to be her, Shawn! Because I love you!” you exclaim, tossing your glass to the dresser and making your way past him, but he grabs your wrist and pulls you back.

“Hey, where are you going?”

His fingers wrap around your wrist desperately as his eyes widen on you.

“Home. I don’t want to be here,” you simply say.

“Wait, you can’t just say that and then leave! Let’s talk about it!”

“But I don’t want to talk.” You yank your hand out of his grip and slip out of the room before he could grab you again.

You hear him call your name, running after you but you are keen on leaving, slaloming between the guests until you make it to the door. Luckily someone holds him up, you hear him trying to excuse himself, but you are out of the house just in time, making it to your car before he could catch up with you.

He stands in the door, staring at you as you drive away, holding yourself up until he can’t see you anymore. Once you are out of his sight you let everything out. You don’t stop crying even after you get home. Shawn is blowing your phone off, but there’s no chance you are talking to him so you just simply mute it and put it to your nightstand with the screen down.

It takes some time, but all the crying and anxiousness works magic on your body, tiring you out enough to fall asleep sometime around midnight. When you wake up you feel like you’ve been ran over by a damned tractor, exhaustion is still ruling your body, but checking the time on the clock on your nightstand you see that it’s already one pm, meaning you slept for more than 12 hours straight.

Taking your time in the shower you wash your hair and condition two times before getting out from the steamy cabin. Towel wrapped around your head and a fluffy robe on you, you make your way into the kitchen when the doorbell rings.

You freeze completely. You forgot to check the texts from Shawn last night and now you are pretty sure it’s him. The bell rings again and your heart jumps. Quickly taking the towel off your head you throw it to the couch as you step to the door.

Just as you thought, a concerned and tired looking Shawn stands on your doormat, staring down at you worriedly. The dark circles under his eyes makes you think he didn’t have much sleep last night.

“Do you know how worried I was? You didn’t even let me know that you got home safely!” he scolds you, pushing his way into the house without you even inviting him in. “I was worried sick something happened to you!”

“Why would have anything happened?” you ask sighing.

“Because you left so upset, you shouldn’t have driven like that!” he growls and you almost start feeling guilty for causing him a sleepless night.

“Stop pretending like you’re my dad,” you mumble making your way into the kitchen and he follows you behind.

“I’m serious, Y/N! You can’t drop a bomb like that and then leave and not answer any of my calls!”

He is seriously mad at you, anger boiling under his skin as he towers above you. But you don’t feel like he can hold you accountable for anything at this point. You made it clear you want nothing to do with him for your own sake.

You put on some water to boil while you make yourself busy with looking through your tea filters in your little box. Shawn steps next to you, his large hand placed on the counter top.

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” he asks, the anger is gone from his voice. It’s soft and comforting this time.

“And what would have I said, Shawn?” you snap at him dropping the filters from your hands and finally daring to look at him. “We were best friends, it’s not something you can just casually discuss.”

“Why are you saying that in past tense?” he asks, pain tainting his hazel eyes.

“I told you. We can’t be friends anymore, it’s too painful for me and I’m done pretending like I can deal with being around him and act like nothing is wrong.”

“If you… If you told me, we could have figured something out!”

“Figure what out, Shawn?” you ask with a sad smile. “There is nothing to figure out. You are with Camila and I’ll be fine too. Not now, but one day. I just need you to respect that I need time and distance.”

His staring down at you intensely, lips pressed together into a thin line. You wish you could read his mind, get into his head and see what’s going on in there. His lips part and you hold your breath, waiting for his reply.

“Is that really what you want? Time and distance?”

“Y-Yes,” you nod, eyes turning away from him as you can’t stand his gaze on you. You’re not sure this is what you want, fuck, you know you will suffer if you can’t talk to him and can’t see him anymore, but this is the only way you feel like you can ever get yourself over him.

He nods, clearly pissed by your decision, but he has to respect you. If you mean anything to him he’ll accept your will.

“Fine,” he simply says before just walking out of the house, slamming the door behind him, leaving you in the painful silence with your thoughts. You hold onto the edge of the countertop as you slowly process that you just lost your best friend.

 ***

 It has been the worst month of your life. Since Shawn walked out of your house he went radio silence. No texts, no calls, nothing. When you read back his desperate texts from the night before you broke down in tears again, the thought of losing him eating you up alive. But you had to move on.

There has been several times you almost called or texted him without even thinking about it, him still being the first person you want to share anything major with. But realization hit you hard every time.

You went offline for your own sake, not able to bear seeing him happy with another girl, or just seeing him at all. You have no idea what’s been happening to him and it’s been killing you, but time started to heal you slowly.

Connor hit you up a few days ago, he has been back from school and you agreed to have lunch together. He is basically the only one you kept in touch with from Shawn’s circle. Not long after Shawn’s last visit he dropped by as well, checking in on you. He stayed and listened to you for hours, crying about everything, offering support that you really needed in that moment.

“Hey, you look great!” he compliments you as you arrive to the restaurant, hugging you tightly.

“Thanks, you too!” you smile back at him taking a seat.

“So, how have you been?”

You shrug, fidgeting around with the empty wine glass on the table.

“Fine, I guess.”

“But you miss him, right?” he says your thoughts out loud. You don’t answer, just nod your head. “You haven’t talked to him since then?”

“No. Not at all,” you sigh leaning back in your seat.

“And you don’t even know what’s been going on with him?”

“Connor, can we stop talking about him?” you plead, keen on changing the topic. The thought of Shawn still makes you feel uncomfortable.

“He and Camila broke up,” he then says, making your eyes go wide.

“What?”

“Yeah, about two weeks ago. Everyone has been going nuts about it, saying that their relationship was shorter than Kim Kardashian’s shortest marriage.”

“That’s rude,” you mumble.

“Yeah, but kind of true. They didn’t even last for two months.”

You’re aching to find more out, but you’re not sure if you should ask him. Luckily, he can feel your hunger for more information so he decides to file you in.

“I don’t know exactly what went down, but I think Shawn was the one who ended it. He is not talking to us about it and I think they are done for good. Camila refuses to even talk about him, so we are kind of in the dark.”

“And how is he doing?” you ask concerned about his mental state. Even though you are in a weird place with him you still care about him a lot and love him.

“Not too good. He is mostly at home, doesn’t hang with anyone, just keeps going to the studio, recording a bunch of songs he doesn’t show to anyone.”

You are totally confused about what to think of it. His breakup with Camila took you by surprise, it’s not something you were expecting at all, seeing how happy they looked. And knowing that he is isolating himself from his friends is breaking your heart.

Shawn doesn’t get mentioned for the rest of the lunch, but your mind keeps drifting away to him from time to time. When you get back home later that day you are burning to check in on Shawn and just see how he is doing. You decide you’ve had enough time to be able to handle seeing him again so you get into your car and head over to his place.

Your nerves are burning up as you get closer and closer to him. When you park down on his driveway you need a minute in the car to collect yourself before seeing him for the first time.

“You can do this,” you peptalk yourself before heading for the front door.

The door opens before you even reach it and a messy haired Shawn appears, in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else as he stares at you like you’re a ghost.

“Hey,” you greet him shyly, his bare chest making it hard for you to focus.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“What a nice way to greet an old friend,” you chuckle a little hurt by his tone. Realizing his not so warm welcoming he invites you inside.

“You want something to drink? Tea or coffee?”

“No thank you,” you smile politely as you sit on a stool at the kitchen island and he leans against the countertop across the room, still shooting you confused looks.

“I um… I talked to Connor today. He told me about… About you and Camila.”

“So you came here to talk about my breakup?” he asks a bit sassily.

“No! I wanted to check in on you. He said you’ve been isolating yourself.”

“So good to know my friends are going around, talking about my personal life,” he scoffs.

“It’s not like he told to some stranger, it’s just me,” you say defending Connor.

“It’s you, and you don’t want to be my friend anymore, if I remember correct.”

He is angry and you can’t decide is he is angry at you or just at the situation in general.

“Don’t be like this. You know why I said that. I needed time to—“

“Yeah!” he snaps. “You needed time and space to move on, but you never even listened to me! You just shut me out without hearing me out!”

His outburst surprises you, not knowing what to think about his anger. Hopping off of the stool you walk around the kitchen island and stop a few feet away from him, his hands gripping onto the edge of the counter furiously.

“Because I was hurt, Shawn. You have no idea what it felt like to me,” you explain. “I couldn’t just go and pretend like I was okay.”

“But this whole thing could have been avoided if you just talked to me earlier or let me talk that night, but you ran off!”

“What would have been different?” you chuckle in disbelief that he is so delusional and you continue with a raised tone as you are growing impatient with his reasoning. “I don’t think you would have ran to Camila and broke up with her because you realized you were in love with me!”

“I didn’t have to realize because I already knew it, damn it!” he snaps, voice ringing through the whole house as your stomach drops. “I’ve been in love with you for years, Y/N! And then you break down when I get together with Camila, telling me that you love me and I was so shocked because I’ve been wanting to hear you say that for so long, but that was not how I imagined it.”

You stare at him with lips parted, eyes widened and you think you’ve stopped breathing for a couple of seconds too. He takes a few deep breaths as he tries to contain his anger and then he continues in a calmer, more low-key tone.

“You didn’t even give me a chance to tell you how I feel, just wanted to get rid of me. You have no idea what I went through since then. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat for days. Camila got so mad because I told her that I can’t do it anymore. She said I was just playing with her and I swear that’s not what it was, but once I found out you have or had feelings for me I was screwed, no one else existed but you for me. She hates me now, but I couldn’t even care about it because you weren’t talking to me. I wanted to call you so many times, go to your place and tell you everything but I didn’t want to upset you. You said you needed time so I wanted to respect you. I was planning on talking to you once it was over with Camila but then I thought that what if you’ve already moved on? I didn’t want to hurt you.”

You’ve never seen him so broken, so lost and it’s all because of you. Those damn tears are back and you don’t even bother to wipe them off as you wrap your arms around his torso hugging him tight. His skin feels hot on your face, but in weeks this is the first time you feel like everything is going to be alright.

Shawn wraps his arms around you hesitantly, cheek pressed to the crown of your head. You can feel him shaking and you just want to turn back time, make yourself shut up and let him speak, sparing the hurtful time for both of you.

“I missed you so much,” he whimpers into your hair pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Leaning back you finally look into his eyes.

“But… How? When?” you ask, your mind still racing from his confession.

“Literally for years, Y/N. How can I not be in love with you? You are beautiful, funny, nice and caring, everything I’ve ever imagined about. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I always chickened out. Then… I finally built up the courage to kiss you that night. I felt like it was a turning point, like everything is about to change but I woke up and you were gone. I took it as a hint that you regretted it and wanted nothing to do with me romantically. So I never brought it up and tried to move on.”

“You dumb shit, I thought you kissed me out of pity!” you say slamming your hands on his chest, your palms staying there as you let out a shaky chuckle.

“Pity? I was literally a puddle that night, so whipped for you and so happy when you kissed me back! There was no pity in that!”

You shake your head in disbelief. So much could have been different if only you and him talked.

“So… What now?” you ask, your fingers gently stroking the base of his neck.

He tugs your hair behind your ear, leaning down and resting his forehead against yours.

“Have you moved on? Or do you still love me?” he breathes out.

“Of course I love you. It’s not something that changes over night.”

“Over night? It has been a month,” he chuckles.

“One month is nothing compared to the years I went through loving you,” you whisper as you cup his cheeks in your palms.

“Then let’s start with this,” he replies and his lips are pressed against yours.

He kisses you hard and passionate, putting every emotion into it and you return it just as enthusiastically, arms wrapped around his neck as his lips work perfectly against yours and then his lips part from your, but only to kiss you again and again and… again.