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katherinewilliams221b · 4 years

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For A Greater Good Fun Facts and Self Assesment (spoilers)

Long Post

What worked and what didn’t:

I think the overall structure worked pretty well. The most difficult part was, with the plot and subplot already created, scattering all those ideas throughout the text in such a way that at least made some sense. I regret not writing more about Mer Yankelevich, I feel like the crumbs I left on the way were not enough; in my attempt to make it subtle it lacked information about her. The key piece was of course her sister, and I should have introduced her sooner.

MC’s evolution. I feel like Kate’s learnt a lot with this experience (I’m not only referring to the Deathly Hallows or Grindelwald) When it started, she was very discreet and kept a low profile, not knowing what to do really, not taking more risks than necessary. And then she ended poisoned and splinching just to protect a document she thought was important. I hope her evolution is noticeable for the reader.

Worldbuilding. Grabbing HP concepts that were forgotten and full of potential, plus a dash of original ideas from me and blending them with muggle features was my absolute favourite part of the process.

On that note, I dont own these concepts: Durmstrang, Igor Karkarov, Nerida Vulchanova, umbrella flowers, fanged geraniums, billywigs, Appare Vestigium, glow-worms, trick wand, chamaleon ghouls,

If you’ve read the fic and thought: “everything happened so fast” or got a general odd feeling about the timeline it's because I made a series of monumental mistakes: setting a chapter limit, telling you about it and then tried to stick to it. At first the idea sounded nice: this is my first “big” story with complicated components. I should (and I did) do an outline of what I want to happen in each chapter and stick to it methodically so I don't forget what's happening or lose track of the plot. Well...it kind of backfired. So I wrote the first 3 chapters and at that point I thought “okay everything is going as planned, I’m going to put it out there”, bam, instantly cursed. After that it got ridiculously difficult to make the story that I wanted. Why? I needed chapter space that I convinced myself I couldn’t add. Dumb.

The major consequence of this was the lack of character backgrounds. It started out good, but as I kept writing and publishing I realised that I missed some great opportunities to make amazing ocs. That’s Corentin’s fault in a way: he wasn't going to be a major character, really, just a piece to help Kate a bit. But we all fell in love with him so what was I supposed to do? Also, Sheyi Mawut owns my heart and he got just a bit of spotlight. A shame.

I wish I had written more about them, but I think I wasn’t ready just yet to make it even more complicated.I just wanted to prove I could concoct a mystery plot and now that I know I can manage a fair amount of information I think I can take it a step further and deepen new ocs a little bit more.

I’m thinking about the datura series and I know why I got blocked and tired of writing it; it wasnt going anywhere because I wasnt prepared, and I didn’t do the months of outlines and planning that I did with this one. I’ll come back to the datura story one day, subjecting it to a sever rewrite. The ideas are there, I just need to be organised.

Although the chapter limit was problematic it was also a good exercise of managing space and deciding which things were unnecessary for the story. I dont think there’s any filler chapters, perhaps the last ones, but there is important information there too so... However this sentence from the blog wordsandstuff reassured me (and I think I did a good job at that?)

If you set out to write 10 parts and you write a fantastic story in 8, you haven’t failed and it’s not too rushed. Concise writing is an underrated talent. Focus on how effectively you engage the reader, not for how long.

I spent more than year writing this! When I started, I had a lot of ideas, I wrote the last two chapters then the first 3 and I really thought it was going to be that way with the rest of the story... okay... lesson learnt. #humbled

Other thoughts:

I received a couple of comments on ao3 that said that they were pleasantly surprised. Maybe I should change the tags because they are misleading? Clearly this wasnt what people were looking for lol.

One particular comment stood out to me and quoting it said: “You did not choose the easy way with a fiction with so few characters from the fandom.” And I’ve been thinking about this since I read it. It didn’t occur to me that there were few mystery fics (maybe I should write more things like that? Maybe throwing some power couple detective work 👀 ) In any case, I’m glad I contributed with something different to the fandom, and the fact that the Charlie bits are very scarce but people who read it still liked it is really flattering.

I wanted to make sure that all the characters had strengths and flaws, I didnt want to severus-snape them so maybe I overdid it with that bit of introspection kate does at the end...

Also, I did the kiss and fade thing twice to mention sex. I know some people dont like that but since it wasnt the point of the story and I havent done research on how to write sex scenes I didnt include them. I have that on my “to learn” list.

Conclusions:

Writing the whole thing was incredible. It's my first ‘big’ project and its not a great work (there are some things I wish I did better, thats what you get when you are an agatha christie wannabe) and not writing more character backgrounds will haunt me to this day, but I think it's at least good for a first series and I’m proud of it. I loved spending hours doing research and trying to piece together this puzzle. And of course I’m not an expert and I dont want to sound pretentious (like this is my first story) but if you are planning to write this type of genre I can be another source of tips and tricks for you.

If I read the story after a while and I dont cringe, I would call that a success.

FUN? FACTS!

Bakunawa really belongs to Filippines mythology

Snapdragons have different meanings, one of them being: “grace under pressure or inner strength in trying circumstances”

The entrance to Grindelwald’s room was going to be in the duelling classroom, strangely shaped as a triangle. I had this system where one of the round candle lamps descended and lined up with a line on the floor (serving as separation for duels) it created the Deathly Hallows symbol. I couldn’t make that work because it wouldn't make any sense for Nerida Vulchanova to shape a room like that. Here are some sketches:

Lucius Malfoy was going to appear as the Ministry employee that goes to Durmstrang, but after revising the events of the OoP I realised it was impossible.

Kent Jorgensen was going to be around Kate’s age and the charms teacher and he would have a small crush on her. After seeing some pics of Pen Medina, I rewrote the character completely.

The series was going to be 6 chapters long (I’m glad I decided not to) one for each month. The chapter names were ridiculous: January of Beginnings, February of reputation, March of Students, April of Discoveries, May I? and June of Endings. #tragic

The Dolohov family was going to be a part of the plot but I had to erase that part because it was unlocking another layer of complexity that I just couldnt handle.

I dont remember exactly the chapter but I got really confused with the names Rhode and Hodges and there’s one chapter where I accidentally mixed them (I corrected it I think), but for a while I could stop calling Rhode, Hodges, and vice versa lmao

Here are some sketches that helped me describe and imagine things

Thank you for accompany me in this journey, especially if you endured the process with me lmao. You’ve been here for over A YEAR! <3 Mindblowing

Also I’d love to know your opinions about the way you read the story, I mean, I know some people read it as I published, and some other readers found the story already finished, what are the differences? Should I stop the updating system and drop a story all at once? I know it is difficult to keep up with a complex story if there’s a lot of weekly or monthly gaps between the chapters, so I wanted to know.

Sending you a virtual hug 💜💜

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gdotsand · 4 years

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The Fastest Way Back Home - Prologue

Pairing - Bucky Barnes x Reader (Post Infinity War)

Summary - A collection of memories sprinkled along the road to regain what she lost.

Word Count -1,400 (ish)

Playlist Link - Link (will be updated as more chapters are added)

Warnings - Sadness. Angst. Bad jokes regarding muffins.

A/N - I really wanted my first published Bucky series to be happy, I really did. I fought my brain so hard but this was the first work in progress it allowed me to finish for him. I’m sorry in advance? I honestly get physical chest pains from writing this story because it also makes me sad but I will promise you happy endings and it wont (hopefully) all make you wanna curl into a ball and listen to sad songs. Likes, reblogs and feedback is always appreciated. Also big shoutout to Lara (it wont let me tag you), thank you for encouraging me to post this finally and listen to my ramblings. You’re the real MVP. Thank you - G.Sand

Present

He'd always said that the water calmed him, the darkness lapping against the small dock. One of the main reasons he'd thrust a pros and cons list into her hand the night after viewing the house. Top of the list, the water.

There were many other things on the list, a tree that seemed like it had grown specifically for a treehouse to be constructed against the thick branches.

A living room big enough if they pushed back the furniture he would be able to twirl her around barefoot as the record player in the corner softly played old country vinyls her grandfather left her when he passed.

A wrap around porch, sure it needed some work, some of the slats have fallen though, but he promised to replace them, whitewash them and share lazy Sunday afternoons drinking fresh lemonade and watching the sun disappear beyond the horizon.

It felt like a life time ago, sometimes, most of the time it felt like a fever dream. Calloused fingers against her jaw line, the slipping of a golden band onto her finger, her doing the same for him. Bright smiles and her mother softly wiping the tears from her cheeks. Promises of forever and always, promises of a future beyond the hurt and loss that lingered deep within his bones.

Promises of all perfect and beautiful things that would now never come true. Promises of a life away from bloodshed and fear. Away from anger and torment. Everything turned to dust that day, breathy whispers at some ungodly hour, promises, commands, vows, everything including the man she loved turned to dust, and she had no idea.

Sometimes she could pretend, pretend he was on a regular mission, or he'd gone out to a meeting or to the store. Because he was ever present in her home, their home. The photos that adorn the walls, his jacket is still on the hook by the door, weapons safe still locked. It can only be opened by a retinal scan that now didn't exist in the world. Tony he said he can override it, find a way to disable his own systems but she declined. What was the point anymore? What was the point in anything anymore?

So she looks out at the water. Watches as the sun starts to set, another day has been added to the tally marks somewhere etched into the walls of her brain. Filed away, so she wouldn't be able to recall an exact number if asked, but still enough to keep a permanent hole in her chest since that day. Its been almost five years, and Betsy is bordering on her birthday, and she wants, she prays that she can believe that Betsy is a happy child but it always feels like something is missing. Its in the depths of her eyes, in the dark curls that sit on top of her head a question that will forever go unanswered, at least not completely. Because no sweetheart your daddy isn't coming home and no bugs he was never home to begin with. Not really, not with both of his girls. So she take things day by day and who can blame her? Honestly what else do people expect. Not that theres many people left to judge her that is. So to hell with it.

If he was here, he'd tell her to buck up. She knows that, but even Tony dare not make that joke. He'd tell her that everything happens for a reason and that everything will work out in the end. But thats Bucky all over, and Bucky isn't here.

The light shifts into something reminiscent of artwork purple and oranges splayed across the horizon, and a smooth pebble is thrown into the icy darkness, it skips across the water at speed and disturbs the darkness, but eventually like everything else the ripples dissipate into nothingness again.

"See kiddo, it's all in the wrist" Tony says, and Betsy listens, she idolises her uncle Tony more than he can know however it's not lost on anyone else. Eager to please Betsy takes the second stone from his outstretched palm, skims it across the surface of the water and it bounces once, twice, three times before eventually sinks, and Betsy squeals as she hoisted into the air in celebration. Y/n could listen to the sound of her laugh till her dying day and never get bored of hearing that little girl enjoy the freedom of happiness, but y/n? She allows herself a smile and turns back to the water, because you know, it always said it calmed him.

Steve approaches slowly behind, careful not to make her jump in the process, spends a good minute or two just watching her. She's never been the same since the snap, okay, no one has been the same since the snap but out of everyone, he thinks that maybe y/n had it the worst. And sure he may be being an overdramatic asshole as Buck might have said once upon a time but Buck's not here to reprimand him. Even if he can hear his taunt somewhere far away, carried on the winds that come from wherever he is.

"He was right you know"

Steve hums at her as a response, an explanation waiting on the other-side of her tongue that for some reason needs to know that Steve is listening before y/n continues.

"It's pretty fucking calming when you think about it"

He hums again, but it's more of an amused tone.

"I came to talk to you specifically before we do this" he says, always a man to get right to the point is Steve Rogers, there is no proverbial bush and he'll be damned if he beats around it.

"Well I assumed you didn't come here just for my muffins Steve"

"You're a married woman can we not talk about your muffins"

"Ah, no one is talking about my muffins these days" and then earns her a chuckle at least. She's always had a way with words like that, always been the one to crack the jokes. First to make light of a situation that really doesn't need it.

"We can get him back, well" he swallows but continues "we can get all of them back, but we're going to bring him back y/n"

Y/N rolls her eyes and takes a couple of steps off the dock towards the house, "Don't make promises that you can't cash Rogers i'm not in the mood" she throws over her shoulder. It only takes half as many steps for Steve to catch up and stop her with a hand on her shoulder. There are already tears in her eyes, and it's a knee jerk reaction. Because she remembers the day that Steve had made that promise to her before, years ago.

5 Years Ago

The house was too quiet, the kind of quiet that strikes fear like a match in the pit of your stomach. The hollow feeling that just something, somewhere isn’t right. There are no books to read, no work to be done, no shows to watch and no mindless task that she can do that will keep her brain from thinking the inevitable. It’s always the case yet it never gets any easier.

Washing done, book shelves back into the correct organisation system. Dinner being planned in her subconscious because she has to keep that hope, that preyer that there will be dinner. There will be another set of feet under the table, a light too minimal conversation to be had and a head on the pillow next to hers at the end of the day.

But then there’s gravel crunching under tires, there’s one, two, three car doors being slammed and three pairs of out of sync footsteps growing closer to the front door. Three sets of footsteps isn’t good. She knows this. She knows as she crosses to the front door, pulls it open and meets the eyes of his best friend. Although she had known that at some point, this day might come, it makes the horror no less scary. It doesn’t make the gravel any less sharp on her knees as her breaths come quicker and Steve arms aren’t quick enough to react. To catch her before she falls.

She can see it reflected in the gaze of Nat that he’s not coming home, that something terrible, something unimaginable has happened.

Steve swallows around the lump in his throat that he prayed wouldn’t be there by the time he got out of the car.

“We’ll get him back Y\N. We’re going to bring him back”

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x y/n #Bucky Barnes #the fastest way back home #gee writes things #i'm so sorry...#bucky

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actualbird · 5 years

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HELLO EVERYBODY!!! for the @dghdafeedbackfest i will be publishing a rec list every other day!! to kick things off, this first rec list is fics that are loooooooong and so so so worth the time to read. i would kill to have these fics in hardbound novel form. “long” for me is defined as anything above 50k, so let’s get this ball rolling!!

Cheer Up, Buttercup by @teacupsandcyanide

“Oh, listen to Dirk. He’s a bathing goods psychic.” “I am not a psychic. I simply don’t always concern myself with such petty things as employee protocol and company script. I see the solution to each customer’s needs as being detectable in the pattern and web of the whole. The connections between bathing rituals and physical-mental health are often much more subtle and complex than we, with our rough and ready understanding of cocoa butter, might naturally suppose.”

Todd goes into a bath bomb store to get a present for Amanda and meets an overeager sales assistant. Self-examination, and - dare I say it - romance ensues.

Words: 103,775. ohhhh my god okay. okay i followed this fic from the first chapter and waiting for each and every chapter was the HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEK!! this fic has everything you want in an AU!! dirk works at a bath bomb store, todd goes through the difficult process of learning how to forgive himself, effervescent flirting, EMOTIONS, SO MANY EMOTIONS, SLOWBURN, OH GOD, IF YOU WANT FUCKING SLOWBURN and just!! AAAAGGGHHHH!!! I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH, PLEASE PLEASE READ IT.

Strange Magic by @dont-offend-the-bees

“Seriously?” he mutters, offering his arm.

“But of course,” says Dirk, looping the silk around it, just above the elbow. “It’s traditional, is it not? A favour for my faithful knight.” He ties the fabric off with a secure but sloppy bow, patting it down proudly. “There we go! For good luck.”

Then he takes a hold of both Theodore’s arms and pulls him firmly, decisively, into a kiss that takes his breath away.

“And that,” says Dirk afterwards, with the gentlest peck to Theodore’s nose. “Is to make sure you come back to me.”

With the freedom to indulge his every whim, the love (or at least toleration) of his subjects, and the affections of the loyal Sir Brotz, it seems the sun shines down upon the its prince’s fortunes. But that's about to change, an ill-wind blowing in the form of a tournament to decide his future husband. No more childish abandon, no more adventure. And perhaps most importantly, no more canoodling with his favourite elfin knight. Desperate times like this call for a quest; but will they find a solution, or just more questions they never thought to ask?

In which Dirk is a prince, Todd is his knight, and it may well be the two of them against the whole of Wendimoor.

Words: 118,478. this fic, in one word, is a masterpiece. never before have i been so engrossed in reading a work of fiction in such a long time, but this fic made me feel like i was 12 and reading about magic for the first time in my life. whimsical, heartfelt, and gorgeously written, i truly think this fic is just mcfucking amazing in all of the ways a fic possibly could be.

I Will Roam if You Say Roam by Lavellington

"My old landlord wrote to me yesterday, and apparently I need to go and pick up my things or he'll throw them in a skip."

"A what?" Todd asks, sitting down heavily on the sofa.

Dirk and Todd go to London.

Words: 72,810. dare i say a fandom classic? this fic is DELIGHTFUL. in addition to being one of my favorite long reads (that i love to reread and reread over and over again....) this is one of my favorite casefics too because it is just so FUN to watch it unfold!!! def rec this to everybody.

Universal Truths by inkyfishes

“...Very long story short, until yesterday, it hailed as my greatest case: one of deception, danger, double-crosses, and an all-round perversion of high emotion and - dare I say it - romance…”

What do horses, robots, time-travel, false identities, alternate universes, flagrant homosexuality and the University of Cambridge have in common? Probably not much, but it's all Todd Brotzman has to work with after he falls through a hole in space and time, arriving at St. Cedd’s College for the first day of Svlad Cjelli (not yet notoriously known as Dirk Gently). There's a case to be solved, but it refuses to start. For both Todd and Svlad, and Dirk and Farah, events unfold in exactly the way you'd expect at Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.

(This work is canon-compliant as per the end of Season 1. It refers to canon set out in the two Dirk Gently novels, the Dirk Gently 2010 TV Series, the Dirk Gently Comics "The Salmon of Doubt" and the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, but none of that is needed to understand the work.)

Words: 70,274. SPEAKING OF CASEFICS. THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CASEFICS TOO. this i think was the one of the first few fics i read in this fandom and i was blown away by how masterfully everything was constructed. this fic feels most like the dirk gently books and because of that i adored it. came for the case, stayed for the feels and the amazing writing.

I'll make my way back home (to find me tangled up with you.) by electricteatime / @kieren-fucking-walker

“Lanterns.” Dirk breathes, a giddy rush of hope welling up in his chest. “I knew they weren’t stars!”

***

Dirk Gently dreams of one thing, and one thing only; seeing the mysterious lights that rise in the sky once a year. The problem with that is that he’s never left his room before, much less his tower, and with every warning his father has given him he’s not sure he can bring himself to do it alone.

Which is exactly when Todd Brotzman crashes into his life. Or, rather, the business end of his frying pan.

What do a regretful criminal and a boy with magical glowing hair have in common? Not a lot, it turns out. But as they embark on a journey that promises to fulfill their dreams, somewhere along the way they’ll realise that all of the things they’d been looking for mean nothing compared to what they eventually find together.

Featuring a full cast of cameos, a glowing yellow jacket, and Farah Black weilding a sword, it’s a Tangled AU that nobody asked for (but I hope you enjoy reading anyway.)

Words: 61,677. THIS IS A TANGLED AU.....A BROTZLY TANGLED AU.....this fic came straight out of my dreams and DELIVERED. gorgeous worldbuilding, amazing characterization, and overall just an glorious fic that i had to reread immediately after i finished reading it the first time.

thats all for now, stay tuned for more rec lists in the upcoming days!! if you like a fic, please dont forget to show your support by giving a comment or perhaps reblogging the post of a fic. happy reading :D

#dghda #dirk gentlys holistic detective agency #fic #i havent commented on a bunch of these but these recs are also for me to remember SJFHKDJFS

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hellolittleogre · 4 years

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AO3 tag meme

Tagged by the lovely @lazaefair

Fandoms: Mag7 (2016), IT (1990), Pacific Rim, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (TV-show), Burnt, Guardians of the Galaxy, Sherlock (BBC)

Number of fics: 16

Fic I spent the most time on: I think Babel Fish (Pacific Rim) I think I started it in the heyday of Pacific Rim fandom in 2012 or 13, and it was published in 2017.

Fic I spent the least time on: Possibly Cupid is No Longer an Archer, which I wrote in a possessed haze on my phone in my 20 minute lunch breaks and on my commute (apologies to anyone reading the screen over my shoulder), which was started at the end of February and published in April (thats the power of antidepressants for you).

Longest fic: The Once and Future King in Burnt fandom clocks in at 16849 words, I remember looking at it and thinking that 6000 words longer than my actual academic degree, which up to that point had been the longest thing I’ve ever written and I didn’t even know how it had happened.

Shortest fic: First fic I ever wrote just when I got my AO3 invite, Care (BBC Sherlock*) is 1538 words. I might have shorter fic floating around on tumblr but I can't remember. I have an incredible problem keeping things short.

(*Don’t judge me, we have all been there!)

Most hits: Five times Eddie and Richie Kissed, which makes sense as that is the biggest fandom, although I have to say I’m surprised that people even find it, as it is in the much smaller and less glamorous fandom of the IT 1990- tv show, and there is such a huge amount of Eddie/Richie fics now that I rarely make it past the first page of the tag.

Most kudos: Promise you the Stars and the Moon too (Guardians of the Galaxy), again its in the largest fandom so makes sense. Its not very good though? I wrote it high as a kite on stress and sleep deprivation out of angry spite over that the Guardians of the Galaxy fandom, in spite of being a very silly film, was such a serious and angsty fandom (ugh, do not try to make me care about Peter Quill’s emotions.)

Most comment thread: Dangers of Bedtime Reading (Mag 7), its the one with most chapters in a very chatty fandom so that scans.

Most bookmarks: Promise you the Stars and the Moon to, tightly followed by the Once and Future King.

Total word count: 124824, but its sort of a spiders George situation because I wrote more than half of that in 2019 possessed by the Magnificent Seven fandom demon, and I’m not likely to ever do that feat again.

Favorite fic: I tend to be in love with every fic I finish, just because I’ve managed to finish it? But I’m very proud of With a Smile and a Song, because the @squarebosk art is so amazing, and I love the silliness of In Vino Veritas, its also my first Mag7 fic and sort of the one that loosened the floodgate.

Fic I most want to expand on/rewrite: UUUUUghhh I want to finish My Virtues Uncounted, because it deserves to be completed, also I hate having it out there just hanging. I think I would, if i had to go back to something rewrite What Dreams May Come, because I didn't get the premise right and its pretty much a nothingburger of a fic.

Share a bit of a wip/story idea you’re working on: Goodnight breaks his arm and he and Billy has to lay low in a bordello, and in order to keep Billy from an unwise liaison Goody tells the proprietress that they are “particular friends” and Billy just walks around and wonders why his charms are so unappreciated. I got too bogged down in the details and now it's languishing in a WiP folder hell.

There’s velvet everywhere and heavy gold framed paintings on the walls and there is honest to God a lady plucking a goddamn harp in the corner, the notes as tinkling and clear as the glimmering beads on the chandelier above their heads. It makes Billy want to hide his hands behind his back in case they got dirty during the train journey. He balls them into fists instead, held stiffly by his side as if he was squaring up for a fight.

“Bonne Nuit!” a lady shouts from the other end of the room and Goody is suddenly enveloped in another female embrace. And why is everyone but Billy speaking French?

“Oh petit pauvre, oh, just look at the state of you,” she says, in English, hanging on his arm. “You didn’t get into a fight, did you sugar?”

The woman is exceptionally beautiful, and well made up. She is heavily corseted in a pink striped skirt, straight at the front and gathered in folds and folds at her back and a tight bodice leaving her shoulders and arms bare. Billy has never seen such a dress, it’s like she is dressed in the entire curtain from the variety theaters Goodnight favours, yet still short enough that it ends well above her neat and gleaming boot tops. Her arms are almost glowing in the golden candle light with the velvet softness of peaches and Billy is not entirely sure where to look.

“Only with a hill,” Goody says and winks. “I’m afraid the hill won.” He seems entirely comfortable with this and Billy feels for a moment irrationally angry with him for being so at home here, in spite of the fact that he right now looks like 40 miles of rough road.

“You’ll have to tell me all about it when you’re better, honey,” she says in the same rich drawl as Goodnight, and leads them towards another door and into a dim stairway. As the door closes she loses some of her effusive manners but her smile becomes more real. She let go of Goody’s arm and immediately took some of the bags from Billy, without any hesitation or difficulty.

“Billy, I’d like you to meet the proprietress of this fine establishment, Mrs Norah Dumont, and Norah, this is my associate and good friend Billy Rocks.”

Mrs Dumont’s handshake is firm like a farrier’s and she has clear blue eyes that sought Billy’s and held them, with frank appraisal. He can see now that she is not so young as he first surmised with faint lines around her eyes and mouth but she still exudes a youthful energy.

Tagging: @fontainebleau22, @poemsingreenink @northstarfan and anyone else who wants to have a go

#writing #ao3 tag meme #fanfiction

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patriotsnet · 3 years

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Who Are The Three Republicans Running Against Trump

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/who-are-the-three-republicans-running-against-trump/

Who Are The Three Republicans Running Against Trump

Republican Party Presidential Primaries

Local GOP Responds To 3 Republicans Running Against President Trump

;

First place by first-instance vote

;;Donald Trump

Presidential primaries and caucuses of the Republican Party took place in many U.S. states, the District of Columbia, and five U.S. territories from February 3 to August 11, 2020, to elect most of the 2,550 delegates to send to the Republican National Convention. Delegates to the national convention in other states were elected by the respective state party organizations. The delegates to the national convention voted on the first ballot to select Donald Trump as the Republican Party’s presidential nominee for president of the United States in the 2020 election, and selected Mike Pence as the vice-presidential nominee.

President Donald Trump informally launched his bid for reelection on February 18, 2017. He launched his reelection campaign earlier in his presidency than any of his predecessors did. He was followed by former governor of MassachusettsBill Weld, who announced his campaign on April 15, 2019, and former Illinois congressmanJoe Walsh, who declared his candidacy on August 25, 2019. Former governor of South Carolina and U.S. representative launched a primary challenge on September 8, 2019. In addition, businessman Rocky De La Fuente entered the race on May 16, 2019, but was not widely recognized as a major candidate.

Who Are The Republicans Challenging Trump For 2020 Nomination

Only one candidate is now vying to defeat Trump for Republican nomination in the 2020 presidential race.

While the pool of Democrats vying for the partys presidential nomination was among the largest and most diverse in the history of the United States, President Donald Trump faced a much smaller cadre of challengers for the Republican ticket in 2020.

After two Republicans dropped out, only one opponent remains in the race against Trump. Thats in contrast to the three remaining contenders in the Democratic field, which once had more than two dozen candidates.

In a statement in April, the Republican National Convention said the Republican Party is firmly behind Trump and any effort to challenge the presidents nomination is bound to go absolutely nowhere, prompting criticism that Republican leaders are making it;impossible for another candidate to succeed.

Here is a look at the now sole Republican challenging Trump.

Are There Any Prominent Democrats Running

There are nine registered Democrats on the ballot but none well known to the public. Newsom and his allies were successful in keeping prominent Democrats out of the race, allowing them to present a united Democratic front and to continue painting the recall as a GOP power grab to accomplish through a special election what it cant through a regular campaign. That also avoids a repeat of the 2003 recall, when Davis allies believe Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamantes decision to run as an insurance option in case the recall was successful cost the governor Democratic votes.

Among the Democrats who decided not to run is former Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa.

I respect the fact the recall qualified. I also recognize that many people disagree with the governor and some of his decisions including me but Californias facing incredible challenges and the governor deserves a chance to finish the job, Villaraigosa said. Thats why I oppose the recall and support Gov. Newsom in this matter.

No prominent Democrat has stepped up as a potential Newsom alternative. Experts say the party should have a backup for a worst-case scenario but doing so may hurt Newsom.

Don’t Miss: How Do Republicans Feel About The Wall

The 2024 Republican Presidential Candidate Wild Cards

The first Democratic debate back in 2019 had 20 TWENTY! candidates, so dont be surprised if the Republican field is just as large or larger. We could have some more governors or representatives run, or even other nontraditional candidates, like a Trump family member, a Fox News host or a celebrity, like Dwayne The Rock Johnson, whos said hes seriously considering a run. Stranger things have happened.

Former President Donald Trump

The biggest question mark for Republicans is if Trump will run for president in 2024. He hasnt exactly frozen the field, since Republicans are already positioning themselves to run, but perhaps hes refrigerated it a bit?

Trump is the 800-pound gorilla, said Dan Eberhart, a Republican donor. Trump has got command of the organs of the party and is going to have an enormous amount of resources and name ID and the ability to throw these rallies in the fall of 2022. I think that sets him up very well to being pole position for 2024 if he wants.

Trump, 74, is currently bettors top candidate on PredictIt, an online prediction market, and hes also led in several early polls, including a February Morning Consult/Politico poll. The poll found 54% of Republican voters would back Trump if the 2024 primary were held today. Those kinds of numbers would mean game over in a primary, but they also suggest many Republicans are eager for a new face.

During a recent podcast interview, Trump said he would make his decision on whether he will run in the 2024 presidential election sometime later, and after being asked which Republicans he thought represented the future of the party, he listed off some of the politicians youll see later on this list, including Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas and South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem.

Read Also: What Republicans Are Saying About Trump Now

No Evidence Election Was Compromised Cybersecurity Agency Says

The dust-up in Wayne County unfolded amid a nationwide effort by Trump and many of his GOP allies to push back on the results of the election. The outgoing president has claimed widespread voting fraud, without evidence, in the several of the states that he lost, including Michigan.

On Wednesday, the president reiterated his claim that a giant scam robbed him of a victory in the state. I win Michigan! .

He and his allies, however, have repeatedly failed to produce evidence supporting their allegations of election fraud.

That failure has spelled trouble in court for his campaign to get the election results overturned. In Michigan, an appeals court on Monday unanimously ruled against a Republican bid to invalidate the vote in Wayne County. The decision backed a lower-court ruling that found the allegations to be simply not credible.

And the legal setbacks for Trump havent been confined to Michigans borders, either. As NPRs Pam Fessler explains, similar efforts challenging the vote in Pennsylvania, Georgia and Wisconsin have failed to gain traction.

Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger speaks during a news conference Wednesday in Atlanta.

Georgias secretary of state said Tuesday that some fellow Republicans have tried to pressure him into disqualifying legal ballots that may not have favored President Trump.

Failed candidate Doug Collins is a liar but whats new?Raffensperger wrote in a Facebook post.

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Richard Burr North Carolina

Burr, who has said he will not seek re-election, had previously voted to dismiss the impeachment trial on constitutional grounds. Burr’s term expires in 2022.

“I have listened to the arguments presented by both sides and considered the facts. The facts are clear,” explained Burr in a statement.

“By what he did and by what he did not do, President Trump violated his oath of office to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States,” he explained, adding that he didn’t come to “this decision lightly.”

Also Check: What Republicans Are Running For President

These Republicans Are Running 2020 Primary Campaigns Against President Donald Trump

Three big-name Republicans have launched campaigns in the 2020 presidential race. While GOP incumbent president Donald Trump is the presumptive nominee, these candidates are hoping the party will open up a primary process despitereportsthat Republicans in a handful of states will not hold primary elections as a show of support for Trump.

Where that leaves these GOP candidates is unclear, but of the more than 100 people who have officially declared Republican candidacies with the Federal Elections Commission, these three are running the most high-profile campaigns to try and take the Republican nomination away from Trump.

Bill Weld, who was the Republican governor of Massachusetts from 1991 to 1997, announced on April 15 that he was entering the Republican primary.

In these times of great political strife, when both major parties are entrenched in their win at all cost battles, the voices of the American people are being ignored and our nation is suffering, Weld said in a statement at the time of his announcement, according to CNN. It is time to return to the principles of Lincoln equality, dignity, and opportunity for all. There is no greater cause on earth than to preserve what truly makes America great.

Twitter content

The president has taken notice of his challengers, though. In response to the news that Sanford had entered the race , Trump wrote, The Three Stooges, all badly failed candidates, will give it a go!

Twitter content

Cpac And The Broader Republican Party Agree: Its Trumps Party For Now

Is There Any Republican That Would Actually Run Against Trump?

alex: Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis. We know hes a rising star in GOP circles and I think the CPAC straw poll pointed out his popularity among the Trump wing of the Republican Party. Another poll, too, after Trump.

Plus, being from Florida gives him an edge in a competitive state. To me, it appears that at this point, people like DeSantis because his policy priorities are similar to Trumps, but he lacks the former presidents ego and baggage.;

sarah: Stole my first round pick!!;;

geoffrey.skelley: DeSantis isnt terribly well known, but I suspect well see him try to correct for that in the coming months. He may be coy for a while about his plans, though, because he needs to win reelection in 2022, and we know that would-be candidates want to take care of the home front first.

nrakich: Yeah, I think DeSantis is a smart pick. Hes doing all the right things picking fights with Democrats, going on Fox News a lot

sarah: Could not agree more. There is no autopsy report yet of the 2020 election from the GOP side , but one thing that stands out to me is something Echelon Insights pollster Kristen Soltis Anderson wrote for the Washington Examiner in February, Trumps legacy in the party isnt policy, and it isnt a person. Its a posture a fighting posture in a moment where Republicans think the fight is what matters most.;

I bring that up because something Anderson and her organization have found is that many GOP voters want someone who will fight for them.

Also Check: Why Republicans Want To Repeal Aca

How Biden Won: Ramping Up The Base And Expanding Margins In The Suburbs

It brings the number of states Biden flipped from Trumps 2016 column to five, including Arizona, which last voted Democratic in a presidential race when it backed Clinton in 1996.

Biden also flipped Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, three key northern industrial states that ultimately delivered the White House to Trump four years ago. Biden also won a single electoral vote in Nebraskas 2nd Congressional District, which last voted Democratic for former President Barack Obama in 2008.

Electors from each state and the District of Columbia are expected to vote on Dec. 14. The new Congress will then count the votes and certify Bidens victory on Jan. 6, two weeks before the inauguration.

But Georgias political activity is far from over. The state will hold two runoff elections on Jan. 5 for both its U.S. Senate seats, which are currently held by Republicans.

Georgias Republican Us Senators Call On Gop State Election Chief To Resign

Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, himself a Republican, called the claims laughable and refused to step aside.

The early rancor and fighting over the presidential election results, which are headed for a recount despite Bidens growing lead, is a preview of the intense fight to come over the fate of the two Senate seats. Vice President Pence told GOP senators that he plans to campaign in the state, and national Democrats are already pouring money and support to their challengers, Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock.

The Georgia runoffs are slated for Jan. 5, after the Senate is scheduled to begin a new session. That uncertainty means the Senate will be unable to officially organize until the results of that election are finalized.

A Marine stands outside the entrance to the West Wing of the White House on Tuesday, signifying that President Trump is in the Oval Office. Evan Vucci/APhide caption

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A Marine stands outside the entrance to the West Wing of the White House on Tuesday, signifying that President Trump is in the Oval Office.

President Trump is set to visit Arlington National Cemetery on Wednesday to mark Veterans Day and lay a wreath. Trump will be joined by Vice President Pence. This is one of the more traditional ceremonial duties of a president. .

Asked what the president has been up to, White House spokesman Judd Deere said Trump has been working behind the scenes.

Read Also: How Many Republicans Are In The United States

Trumps False Election Fraud Claims Fuel Michigan Gop Meltdown

The ex-presidents refusal to accept defeat is taking a toll on the party in a key battleground state.

Republican National Committee chair Ronna McDaniel a former Michigan GOP chair herself speaks during a news conference at the Republican National Committee in Washington. | AP Photo/Alex Brandon

Joe Biden defeated Donald Trump by more than 150,000 votes in Michigan last November.

Trump and the Michigan Republican Party still arent over it.

The outcome and the former presidents obsessive efforts to dispute it has left the state party in disarray, raising questions about the GOPs focus as it looks to unseat Democratic Gov. Gretchen Whitmer in a top battleground state next year.

From a staff and leadership perspective, I dont know that top-notch professionals would want to go into this quagmire, said Jeff Timmer, a former Michigan GOP executive director who opposed Trump. Unless youre going to talk crazy talk, they dont want you there.

Much of the trouble can be traced to the 2020 presidential election results, which Trump and his allies have alleged were marked by fraud without providing evidence.

But some party officials and conservative activists continue to press for a forensic audit of the election results, encouraged by Trump, who has called on American Republican Patriots to run primary challenges against RINO State Senators in Michigan who refuse to properly look into the election irregularities and fraud.

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Also Check: How Many Republicans Are In The 116th Congress

Georgia And Arizona Senators Show Progressive

Walker, the 1982 Heisman Trophy winner and a Wrightsville, Ga., native, has long lived in Texas after a professional football career that ended in Dallas, but he changed his voter registration last week to an Atlanta house owned by his wife, Julie Blanchard. Blanchard is under investigation by the Georgia secretary of state’s office over potential illegal voting after The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported she voted in Georgia despite living in Texas.

Walker has also repeated false claims of voter fraud in the 2020 election despite elections officials finding no evidence of widespread fraud that affected the outcome.

It’s unclear when Walker will make a formal Senate announcement. The campaign paperwork filed Tuesday ends months of speculation about his political plans, including a prediction in June from Trump that the former football star would soon suit up for the Republican primary.

“He told me he’s going to, and I think he will,” Trump said on the conservative talk radio Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. “He’s a great guy. He’s a patriot. And he’s a very loyal person, he’s a very strong person. They love him in Georgia, I’ll tell you.”

Some national Republicans have been wary of Walker’s candidacy, though. The first-time candidate comes with potential baggage that could harm his chances in both the primary and general elections, including his Texas residency.

Former Us Ambassador To The United Nations Nikki Haley

Haley, 49, stands out in the potential pool of 2024 Republican candidates by her resume. She has experience as an executive as the former governor of South Carolina and foreign policy experience from her time as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations.

Haley was a member of the Republican Partys 2010 tea party class. A former South Carolina state representative, her long shot gubernatorial campaign saw its fortunes improve after she was endorsed by Sarah Palin. Haley rocketed from fourth to first just days after the endorsement, and she went on to clinch the nomination and become her states first female and first Indian-American governor.

As governor, she signed a bill removing the Confederate flag from the state Capitol following the white supremacist attack at the Emanuel African Methodist Church in Charleston. She left office in 2017 to join the Trump administration as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, and Quinnipiac poll found she was at one point the most popular member of Trumps foreign policy team.

I think that shes done a pretty masterful job in filling out her resume, said Robert Oldendick, a professor and director of graduate studies at the University of South Carolinas department of political science.

Haley criticized Trump following the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol by his supporters, saying she was disgusted by his conduct. Oldendick said he thought her pretty pointed criticism of the president will potentially cause some problems.

Also Check: How Many House Seats Were Won By Republicans

0 notes

metricanxiety · 7 years

Text

i’m the narrator and this is just the prologue

Pairing: phan its the only thing i write lmao

AU: uhh, dan is a writer and phil owns a cute lil store? idk what thats called but thats what it is

Warnings: SMUT. Its not too bad tho. Swearing, Mentions to religion and awful humans, sin.

AN: send me requests im begging you.

---

Dan sat in front of the laptop on his desk, a hand holding his head up, and the other goose-pecking the keyboard, typing the final pages of the chapter he was writing. His editor gave him a deadline for the chapter two days ago, and was desperately trying to finish the dam thing before his agent came to off his head. Dan had already gotten many threats that they’d drop his project if he didn’t stop dropping the deadlines they were setting for him. But he’s already released successful novels, proven that they really don’t give a shit about the deadlines, but rather don’t want to make the readers wait longer for a book that is already beginning to get hyped up.

His first novel was about his fiance’s childhood, but majorly fantasized. It’s about a little monster trying to escape the civilization he was raised in because his parents didn’t love him for the path he chose in life, to begin a family with somebody unapproved his parents didn’t like. A fantasy about gay rights. But would you expect anything less from Dan Howell?

As a firm believer in writing based on real life experiences, Dan was now writing a realistic fiction novel about a girl growing up in a super religious home, but realizing the beliefs she was brought up in isn’t actually what she believes, and how she over came the problems it brought. But he was stuck on a chapter, trying to make the story more interesting in the middle bits with a little bullshit. It wasn’t his strong suit, which is why he wrote about real experiences. Phil, his fiance, had earlier in the week that he should write a sexy novel, because Dan had plenty of experience in that to write a book about it. Dan laughed, but he could never imagine publishing such an erotic novel, knowing his future children may read it someday.

The sun had set a while ago, leaving only the bright lights of London, and Dan’s laptop screen, to illuminate the room. Phil was due to be home any minute now, Dan had received the text about fifteen minutes ago that he was leaving the shop, which was about a half hour tube ride from the flat they owned downtown. They use the word own very loosely. Yes, the flat was theirs, but the mortgage was being paid paycheck to paycheck, since most of their money was being used towards the shop, and bills. But they made it work.

Dan typed the final sentence of the chapter, she slowly, but surely, fell into the sweet slumber, the final one she would have for a long time; the storm was just beginning to form. It reminded him of how he felt when he was sixteen himself, discovering his identity. A tough subject for him, but can be empowering to young readers, so he forced himself to submit it to his editor. He still had another chapter due tomorrow, as they were trying to wrap this book up quick to release to the public, and well, so Dan could have a little extra pocket change than he does right now. Despite his previous successful novels, he actually didn’t have too much in his savings. Living in London is no joke for the bank account.

He began the next page, but didn’t get halfway through the first sentence when he heard keys hitting the metal door to their apartment, and the familiar squeak of Adidas on the wood floor. Phil was home, which meant Dan could actually enjoy his dinner with the man he loved. It had been sitting in the oven on a low heat to keep it warm.

“Dan? Are you in the bedroom?” He heard Phil call out. It was nice to hear his voice, as Dan is left alone for hours every day until late at night, when Phil would finally join him. They owned the store as well, but Phil had to be there four days of the week, except for Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays. He trusted the manager, which was Dan’s cousin, could handle it without an owner’s supervision.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec, dinner is in the oven.” Dan pulled a pair of pajama pants on over his boxers. It’s not like Phil hasn’t seen it before, but they were about to eat, might as well have some modesty.

As Dan exited the bedroom, he was met with the open floor plan of their small flat, and Phil crouched down to try and get the tray of food out of the oven. He was in a navy blue button up, with white polka dots. Black jeans, and a red bow tie. He always dressed nice, even if it was just to go sit in the office of the store. He loved Phil for that.

“Hey, love.” Dan smiled, walking over to help Phil, getting the tray out himself, and placed it on the stove. Phil stood up with him, placing a hand on the small of Dan’s back, and pulled him in for a kiss. “How was your day?”

“Busy. Which is a good thing. With Christmas coming up, everyone is wanting something from us. Cards, candles, you name it.” Phil said. He always referred to the store as his and Dan’s, but Dan didn’t really do much own there. It was mainly just Phil’s store. When Dan tried telling him this, Phil kissed his hand and said what’s mine is yours, my love. “How about yours? How is Angela doing in her quest to be her own person?”

Dan laughed, getting out two plates to serve the lasagna on. Phil leaned against the counter, making the space slightly crowded, but Dan didn’t mind being close to Phil. Especially when this is basically the first time they’ve seen each other today, besides Phil kissing Dan goodbye while he was still asleep. “Awful. I just submitted these past chapters to Haley when she wanted them two days ago. I still have a few to write to send her tomorrow.”

“Productive day then? I know you barely started the beginning of those chapters yesterday.” Phil wrapped his arms around Dan from the back as Dan used the spatula to serve the food on the plates, but was having sight trouble from the cheese being so stretchy on top. Phil kissed the back of Dan’s neck, the small short hairs tickling his nose as he did so. Dan had goose flesh cover his body, as his neck was very sensitive to him, and Phil always took advantage of it.

“Kind of. I don’t know. Been struggling a little lately. There’s so much hype being built for this novel and I don’t know how well it’s going to turn out if it’s rushed like this.” He grabbed a few forks, and lead Phil over the the small table they had against the wall, and sat across from each other.

“Take your time, I’m sure they won’t mind, they know you only care about the quality of the book.” Phil took a bite of the lasagna, exhaling in delight. “Thank you for dinner, babe.”

“No problem. Didn’t take that long, and I had quite some time to kill anyway.” Dan jabbed slightly. Phil left extra early today, because he usually eats breakfast with Dan before he leaves for work. Phil needed to leave a little early today, however, because Sarah had something come up and couldn’t do it herself.

“If you’re referring to breakfast this morning, I’m sorry. Sarah couldn’t make it in time, and I had to go open.” Phil reached over for Dan’s hand. It may seem ridiculous, but they were so close, their relationship was so valuable, that even eating breakfast together was important to them. It was the perfect start to their days.

“No. It’s okay. Just wasn’t expecting to wake up to an empty flat.” Dan smiled, squeezing Phil’s hand.

“I know. I wasn’t expecting to be leaving so early either.” He paused. “But I’m home now, right?”

“Yeah. I know. But you know how I am.” Dan looked down at hid food. Phil knew he had trouble being alone for long periods of time, even though he did it every day. Dan thought too much, worrying about everything, which is the main reason he’s a writer. For example, if Phil doesn’t text him back within an hour of the text being sent, Dan starts to think that something bad happened to Phil, and that he needed help because Phil is usually very diligent about answering his messages. Dan says he thinks too much, but everyone knows it’s because of his anxiety. He hated being alone for so long because he doesn’t know if he’s letting his life go to waste by not going out with Phil, or going to visit friends more, and him being alone makes him feel guilty. Its a system they’ve been trying to ix for a while now.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

Many people would call Dan controlling, or clingy due to this, but that was not the case at all. Phil knew Dan just needed that extra bit of information to feel safe, or know that Phil himself is safe. He doesn’t want to worry Dan more than he already does.

They ate in silence for the rest of their dinner. Sometimes saying nothing has the loudest impact, and in this case it was. Just being in the presence of the other was enough for them. Phil collected the dishes, cleaned them, and put them away. It was about nine o’clock, and they didn’t really go to bed until around ten or eleven. Dan would sometimes go back and work on the novel while Phil did some basic chores around the house, or even catch up on some reading. But as Dan was walking toward the bedroom to finish his daily writing, Phil stopped him, grabbing his hand and spinning him back to face Phil.

“I love you.” Phil smiled, wrapping his arms around Dan’s waste. Dan smiled, pressing his lips to Phil’s in a sweet, long kiss.

“I love you too.”

They kissed again, it wasn’t perfect, or calm. It was actually a little bit sloppy, because they had kissed each other so many times that there could be no bad kiss between them. Phil slipped his hands into the waistband of Dan’s pajama pants, resting them on Dan’s ass. He knew Dan thought it was ridiculous that Phil loved just grabbing, and holding Dan’s butt, but Phil found it quite funny that Dan thought that. Dan’s hands rested on Phil’s chest, slightly tweaking the bow tie around Phil’s neck but not doing much to actually take it off.

“How about I make it up to you, for missing breakfast?” Phil suggested, resting his forehead to Dan’s. Dan was just a few inches shorter than Phil, making cuddling, and these type’s positions favorable to Phil. Dan quirked an eyebrow, moving his hands to the tie again, and began making a small effort to undo it.

“Hm, depends. What are you going to do?” Dan asked, joking. He kissed the smile off Phil’s face, pulling the tie off Phil’s neck, and letting it drop to the floor. His arms snaked over Phil’s head afterwards, running his fingers through the dark black hair that belonged to the man he loved. Their sex life was calm, as they didn’t believe that they needed to have sex every other day to be happy, but when they did, the night was always extra special.

Phil let Dan undo every button of his shirt before he began backing them into their bedroom. He shrugged off the button up, and began to help Dan out of the jumper he had on. They liked to take things slow, and savor every minute they had of the other.

Phil pulled away for a minute, leaving Dan to sit on the bed, as he rummaged through the drawers, and shelves. He found a candle that he out on the dresser across the room for the bed and lit it with the matches he found in the bedside drawer.

“You don’t need to do that. Dan said, laughing slightly. He began to pull off his pajama pants completely, so Phil didn’t have to do it, but left his boxers on. Phil shook his head, unbuttoning his jeans and kicked them off.

Phil pushed Dan to his back, laying half on him, half not, but still held himself up, so he wasn’t crushing Dan. Dan pushed the hair out of Phil’s face, tucking, what he could, behind Phil’s ears.

“Hi.” Phil said, pressing their noses together.

“Hi,” Dan repeated, closing the gap between their mouths. Dan loved this part of the night. Where things were still beginning to heat up, but could still be stopped comfortably if one wasn’t totally up for it. Tonight however, was not one of those nights. It had been a few weeks since they last did this so it was relieving to be doing it again.

Phil positioned his hips on top of Dan’s, moving them lightly, grinding down every few seconds. Dan threw his head back, getting the pleasure gently consume him, and Phil took the chance to attach his lips to Dan’s neck, and nibble at the sensitive skin.

“Phil-” Dan exhaled, gripping Phil’s hair gently. He could feel how turned on Phil was, and he had no doubt that Phil could feel him. Dan was usually extremely quiet during sex, so when Dan said Phil’s name, it surprise him.

They kissed again, mixing in their tongues, biting lips, and they became very touchy, Phil ran his hands up and down Dan’s side, stopping every now and then to poke, and tease his nipples. They had been together for so long that they knew exactly what made the other feel good, and enjoy themselves.

“You realize that next week, its going to mark six years.” Phil said, his sentence rushed, trying to avoid making any unwanted noise. He made them plenty already, but he didn’t want it to interrupt him.

“Holy fuck.” Dan said, smiling. They kissed again, sweetly. They can go from hot and heavy, to tame, and sweet in three seconds, just from the mention of their anniversary. Phil ground his hips down on Dan once more, bringing them both back into the lust, both wanting the same thing.

Phil lifted his hips up, and ran two fingers around the waistband of Dan’s boxers, folding it over once, before pulling them off and over his long legs, leaving Dan completely naked. Phil kissed up Dan’s torso, nipping at a few spots that would make Dan’s breath hitch. “Top?” Phil asked, but Dan shook his head, Usually, Phil would top, but he always gave the option to Dan, wanting to make sure he wasn’t forcing Dan into a position he didn’t feel like doing. Almost always Dan would decline the offer.

He reached over to the side table, grabbing the bottle of unscented lube, and a condom out of the little box they kept in the drawer. After having sex for six years, they never got tired of the basic ass shit they do. They were only really kinky on special days, like birthdays, or holidays, such as Valentine’s day or New Years. But any other time than that, they only really wanted each other, and would take it in any shape or form they could have.

Phil took off his pants as well, and kissed Dan to keep the heat they had. He gave Dan a few strokes as they did, making him squirm and dig his blunt nails into Phil’s back. Phil kissed along Dan’s jaw, giving small pecks before biting at the skin right under his ear. As he did so, one hand grabbed the bottle of lube, skillfully popping the cap and squeezing some onto his fingers. He sat back on his heels, helping Dan wrap his legs around Phil’s waist.

“I love you, Dan Howell.” Phil said, smiling down at Dan. Dan responded by sitting up and kissing the smile off Phil, holding his face with his hands. “There’s nobody I’d rather spend my life with than you.” Phil didn’t usually get so mushy and sweet during this, but Dan wasn’t complaining. He’d struggled with finding somebody to have in his life since his parents basically rejected him after coming out. Phil had gone through the same thing, which is what they first ‘bonded’ over, if you could call talking about your similar problems in life with someone as bonding.

They didn’t spend too long on stretching, as Dan was use to the burn it caused, and eventually learned to treat it as pleasure. Phil tore the foil packet next to Dan’s bicep, and role the condom, hissing from the relief he was feeling from the slight contact. Dan pressed his lips to Phil’s forehead as he aligned himself, and began to push in.

Dan’s nails dug into Phil’s skin, the other hand in his hair, pulling on the black locks, but still trying not to hurt him. Phil didn’t mind Dan’s reactions, however. He knew this part hurt like a bitch and he was willing to sacrifice his comfort if it meant Dan would be enjoying this more. It’s all he cared about, really.

“Phil-” Dan’s voice was airy, like he didn’t even know he was talking, or making any noise at all, as if it were just a natural reaction for his body. Phil waited when he was fully inside Dan, letting him adjust. Phil bit Dan’s lip, pulling it lightly, and let it ping back into place, making Dan quite literally yank Phil’s head down to kiss him. Phil’s hips began to move, in and out, starting small, until he built it up to using his full length to thrust.

Phil rested on his forearms, straddling Dan’s head on the pillow. They were both panting, overwhelmed with pleasure. Phil let out breathy moans every now and then, which gave Dan butterflies in his stomach. Even after six years, it still made him blush knowing that he was making Phil feel this goof, even though Phil was doing most of the work.

Their noses bumped, making Phil smile, a reminder of the past, where the would only give each other Eskimo kisses, instead of real ones. They were super careful about their relationship at first, especially since Dan was only 19 when they started dating, and still living under the roof of his parents house.

Phil would drop him off a few blocks down the street, and even though they wanted to so badly, they didn’t want to risk being caught in the prestigious neighborhood, or area he lived in, It was a really religious part of the London suburbs, and Dan couldn’t venture too far out beyond it, as his parents made a rule, even though he was an adult, they told him that if he were to live under his roof after betraying his own upbringing, and being a homosexual disgrace, that he was to follow the nitty gritty rules his parents set, and if he were to break them, he’d be kicked out. Those rules included no boys, or boyfriends. That was the only rule Dan broke that summer, before officially leaving to move in with Phil. To this day, his parents still have no idea that Dan isn’t living alone. They even had the courtesy to tell him that his first novel was “too much against the people who raise you to be who you are.” Dan would never be able to make them happy, and he was okay with that.

Dan ran his nails along Phil’s back, maybe even breaking skin, but the feeling was just too good for him to stop, he could stop thinking about Phil, Phil, Phil so good oh my-

Dan let out a noise, almost a squeak, before he came over his stomach, and Phil’s. Phil finished not far after, into the condom.

For about fifteen minutes, they just laid there, catching their breath, cooling down. But also just being together. They would peck the others nose, or kiss their hair, and just be the romantic cliche couple they are.

They eventually cleaned up, and got on a fresh pair of pajamas, and after blowing out the candle, they realized how late it was. Phil chuckled, wrapping his arms around Dan who had sat at his desk, opening up his document again.

“Love, it’s almost eleven. You need to sleep.” Phil said, kissing his cheek. “C’mon, come cuddle me.”

Dan couldn’t turn down that offer, spinning his chair around, and standing. Phil invited him under the covers, which Dan had freshly washed due to his procrastination today. The fresh scent of the duvet made them both feel cozy, and at home. Phil wrapped an arm over Dan’s body, pulling him into his torso. Dan nuzzled Phil’s chest, kissing the bare skin, before muttering a ‘good night’.

“Night. I love you.” Phil said, turning off the lamp next to him.

“I love you more.”

ello yes dis is the end

i realy like this one actually???? ig idk lol

SEND ME REQUESTS IT WILL MOTIVATE ME TO WRITE HHHH

#phan smut #phanfiction #phan smut oneshot #phan fanfiction #dan and phil fanfiction #dan and phil fanfic #phan phanfic #dan howell and phil lester fanfiction #metricanxietyfics #phan oneshot #phan au

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arplis · 5 years

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Arplis - News: 11 genius ways to make your tiny bathroom feel bigger

— Recommendations are independently chosen by Revieweds editors. Purchases you make through our links may earn us a commission.

I freely admit Im a maximalist when it comes to home decor. My room is a mish-mash of colorful prints, books, knick-knacks, tarot cards, wall hangings, and plants, and thats exactly how I like it.

However, this mentality means that space is hard to come by, especially in a tiny apartment. Keeping communal spaces clutter-free yet stylish is a huge hurdle weve all had to cross at some point, and in the case of my apartment, the bathroom was an immediate point of conflictor at least some side-eye between roommates. The point stands: Keeping a small bathroom free of junk and still looking cute is a hard task.

It is possible, though, I promise. The following items and ideas will not only allow you to inject some style into your small bathroom, but also keep things clean and functional.

1. Buy a new showerheadright now

Credit: Amazon

A new showerhead can turn your bathroom from drab to fab.

This has been a game-changer in every apartment Ive ever lived in. Theres nothing gloomier than poor water pressure, especially if your bathroom is already old and dreary. Replacing the showerhead with a shiny new number will deliver better water pressure and upgrade your bathroom in a big way, and it can go a long way toward making a small bathroom seem more luxurious.

This particular showerhead is my favorite. It has 24 different functions and easy-to-change settings, and it offers an extremely luxe shower experience at a low price. You can also check out our post on the best showerheads if you need more options.

Get the Hydroluxe Handheld Showerhead & Rain Shower Combo from Amazon for $24.99

2. Invest in shelving to manage clutter

Credit: Wayfair

Over-the-toilet units provide a lot more storage space.

I didn't love the idea of over-the-toilet shelving until we got it in my apartment, and now Im a convert. The bathroom feels much more functional and personalized, as the shelving lets us to display storage baskets and tiny plants without losing any space.

This shelving unit is perfect for your over-the-toilet needs, and its neutral design will work nicely with any other accents you already have. It's easy to assemble and stands free from the wall, so you won't run into any issues if you have lease restrictions. Reviewers love how sturdy the shelf is and how much storage space it offers in an otherwise unused area.

Get the Eckles Over-the-Toilet Storage from Wayfair for $135.99

3. Get some baskets for those new shelves

Credit: Wayfair

Baskets can help organize all your bathroom essentials.

Dont stop at the shelvingorganize! Investing in storage baskets will increase the storage space in your bathroom, and it will also allow you to stay organized, preventing future clutter.

As a maximalist, I love the look of "stuff" in a room, so these wire storage baskets were the move. They come in three metallic shades and two sizes, and all the choices are understated enough to work well with anything else you have going on in your bathroom. They also have the added bonus of being lightweight, making them easy to move around and reorganize if needed.

Get the Scoop Metal/Wire Basket from Wayfair for $11.39

4. Update your bathroom rug

Credit: Reviewed.com / Kori Perten

A stylish bath mat can brighten up your space.

Bathroom decor can go a long way toward livening up a space and making it feel larger. If your floor is darker, a pale gray or blue rug can help open up the space and tie the room together. If the floor is light, darker shades can create a focal point for the rest of the room.

This bath mat was our favorite during testing. It's available in 20 colors and ultra-absorbent, and overall, it's a high-functioning piece that will stand the test of time. It also comes in three sizes, so you can meet the exact specifications of your small space.

Get the Gorilla Grip Original Luxury Chenille Bathroom Mat from Amazon for $15.99

5. Invest in new lighting

Credit: Legrand Adorne

These modular lighting tracks can transform small, dark spaces.

The Phantom of the Opera proved that everything is clearer with a little illumination, and the same is true in small bathrooms. Lighting matters, especially if multiple people are trying to get ready in there at once.

These under-the-cabinet lights from Lumens will not only add a touch of luxury to your space, but theyll also open up the room, giving you a bit more clarity when youre rushing to do your makeup before work. This lighting option is just small enough to sit beneath your vanity, mirror, or cabinet, and reviewers liked the easy installation and streamlined look of this product.

Get the Legrand Adorne 18-Inch Modular Track from Lumens for $86.98

6. Switch out your mirror for a more modern style

Credit: Wayfair

A bigger, more modern mirror will create the illusion of more space.

Weve all grudgingly accepted an apartment mirror with cracked edges and weird dimensions at some point in our lives, but you dont have to live like that any longer. A larger mirror will create the illusion of increased space in your bathroom and is ultimately a functional addition, as well.

This mirror from Wayfair is contemporary and chic, and it comes with reinforced hooks for easy installation. There are two finishes availablegold and blackand reviewers love that there are multiple size options, too.

Get the Lafon Modern & Contemporary Wall Mounted Mirror from Wayfair for $98.99

7. Organize the space under the sink

Credit: Amazon

Tame the mess under your sink with these stacking baskets.

I live with two guys and one other woman, so creating separate, individual space in the bathroom is important not only for our sanity but also to avoid losing your hairbrush to the abyss of cleaning supplies and deodorant. Under-the-sink storage bins have been incredibly helpful for creating personal space in our small bathroom, and they've ultimately kept the room cleaner, as well.

These two-tier storage baskets sit on top of one another, and they're available in a variety of colors. The baskets can be removed from the racks, making for easy cleaning and reorganizing. In our bathroom, we stacked two similar models under the sink with plenty of room leftover.

Get the Mind Reader 2-Tier Metal Mesh Storage Baskets from Amazon for $19.99

8. Hang a shower caddy

Credit: Target

A shower caddy will provide extra space for soap, shampoo, and more.

Am I the only one who can't get near the bathtub without knocking something over? You can avoid the problem of cluttered bath products on the edges of the tub by investing in a shower caddy.

This stainless steel caddy hangs over your showerhead or can be mounted to the wall. It boasts two wide shelves, as well as several hooks and a smaller shelf for bar soap. Plus, you can prevent it from swinging using the suction cups at the back. Just like that, you have a storage solution that everyone in the apartment can agree onassuming all parties can agree on which shelf they want.

Get the Made by Design Bathroom Shower Caddy from Target for $16

9. De-steam the room with a powerful exhaust fan

Credit: Amazon

Clear steam out of the bathroom faster with a new fan.

Small bathrooms fill with steam quickly, and no one likes standing in a hot cloud upon exiting the shower, especially in the warmer months. This exhaust fan will efficiently remove steam from your small bathroom, making the space more functional since your roommates wont have to wait for the fog to clear to get ready for work. Reviewers enjoy how quiet this fan is, and many say it was easy to install in their homes.

Get the Delta BreezeSlim Exhaust Bath Fan from Amazon for $36.99

10. Hang towels behind the door

Credit: Amazon

The staggered hooks provide room for all your towels.

Hiding your bulky towels behind the door will help give the illusion of space in your bathroom, while helping the linens dry out. This over-the-door towel rack has staggered hooks to allow for even more storage space, and it comes in both chrome and bronze to match your existing fixtures. The rack also comes in two sizes, so make sure to measure your door before purchasing.

Get the Lynk Over Door 9 Hook Rack from Amazon for $14.97

11. Throw out your old shower liner

Credit: M-design

A clean shower liner will make your bathroom much more welcoming.

If your shower liner is old, discolored, and maybe even a little moldy, chances are you avoid touching it at all costs. If this sounds like your life, it's time for a new liner. This inexpensive shower liner will keep your space free of mold and mildew, allowing you to wash off without shrinking back against the wall in horror every time you turn around.

Get the M-Design 2-Pack Waterproof, Heavy-Duty PEVA Curtain Liner from Amazon for $9.99

The product experts at Reviewed have all your shopping needs covered. Follow Reviewed on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram for the latest deals, reviews, and more.

Prices are accurate at the time this article was published, but may change over time.

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/11-genius-ways-to-make-your-tiny-bathroom-feel-bigger

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tehstripe · 7 years

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2. Dear _______, - Dave/Rose Newspaper Columnist AU

I finally finished the second fic for my challenge! The prompt was “newspaper advice columnists who passive-aggressively diss one another in their advice au,” found in this AU list. Also this thing is a small monster that I will probably cross-post to AO3 after... a bit of editing and coding.

(Also keep an eye out I have a second fic to post tonight.)

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

Recently, my boyfriend has been acting strangely. He keeps asking about my schedule and when I'll be home. At first I assumed he was just asking so that he could work on planning dates, but whenever I ask him about his schedule, he gets very cagey and won't tell me exactly what he's doing. If I ever demand what he is doing, he tells me he is hanging out with "friends."

Is he cheating on me, or am I just reading into things? I want to confront him, but I don't want to ruin the relationship over something silly...

Sincerely, Am I Just Paranoid?

Dear Mx. Paranoid?

There are one of three options here.

The first is, naturally, the most boring. He is cheating on you. His so-called "friends" are in fact a short-hand for his elicit lover.

For your sake, I hope this is not the case, though I am sure it would be gratifying to know that your suspicions were at least somewhat justified. I would recommend actually talking to some of his friends in order to confirm the story that he is telling you. Is he truly hanging out with them, or is he just using them as a convenient excuse to ditch you?

A few caveats. First, even if his friends back up his story, they may be lying. You can test this by asking a few of them what they were up to and seeing if their stories match. If possible, I would recommend talking to some of their significant others, who will more likely be sympathetic to your cause.

If you do not know enough of his friends in order to ask them what they were up to on June 6th at 11:00 PM, consider that you may not be deep enough into this relationship to be too concerned about ruining it. Cut your losses and run. Even if he is not cheating on you, I cannot think of much good that will come from having a boyfriend who, early in the relationship, demands to know where you will be without properly reciprocating.

Naturally, if you do discover that your man is cheating on him, there is only one possible solution. You must sacrifice his body to Zathog the Great Old One. If he is pleased with your sacrifice, then he may grant you the ability to travel through both time and space, which is undeniably a much better thing to be in possession of than a cheating boyfriend.

Ah! But we must not overlook the other possibilities. You may also be in a situation pulled straight from a "Romantic Comedy," as the lay people refer to them, where you are led to believe your beau is cheating on you, when in truth, he is attempting to set up a beautiful surprise for you that only shows how much he loves you. Perhaps there is even a big diamond ring in your future?

Ah, but Miss Therapist, you may proclaim. However will I know whether or not I have found myself within the confines of a "Romantic Comedy"? The answer is simple. Look around you, at the people you surround yourself with. Do you have a gay best friend who gladly accepts the lofty title of "sassy"? Do you have a well-meaning girl friend (who you, mistakenly, call a "girlfriend" despite the fact that the two of you are straight) who is hapless, cute (but not as cute as you), and pursuing her own relationship off to the periphery of your existence? Are there any older women in your life who give you expressions that imply they have seen it all?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then congratulations! You are most likely a fictional character within a film that will be affectionately dubbed a "Chick Flick." On the bright side, you are undoubtedly being played by an attractive celebrity, so that is one important consolation prize to the unfortunate fact that you are not actually real.

You can also check this with his friends, of course.

The final, and frankly, most likely option is that he is planning his own ritualistic sacrifice to Zathog. He is most likely planning to sacrifice you. Get the jump on him. Forgo love and earthly attachments and become the space-and-time travelling god you were always destined to be.

I hope this helps.

Sincerely, The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I'm trying to think of what I should get my girlfriend for our two-year anniversary. She's honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I want to make it special for her. Any ideas?

-- Two Years of Devotion

dear 2y devotion

okay my dude my buddy my pal

listen to this thing that you are asking me. really listen to it. take the page you are reading right now and hold it up to your ear all gentle like and let it whisper into your ear.

"i want to do something special" cool thats great thats a general thing that everybody who is not a douche wants to do for their significant other but think about this for a sec.

you went to an advice column for this shit. and dont get me wrong my advice column is unequivocally the best advice column cause unlike some columnists im not gonna suggest you throw your girlfriend to sh'blugh the tentacle horror from beyond the veil but

you gave me nothing to go on man

how do i make that special

like give me some details to go off of

you love this girl right tell me something about her

or i guess since its too late to tell me about her because this is a delayed conversation that gets publicly written and published in a magazine think about the kind of shit that she likes

like you probably already know the kind of shit that she likes if youre really as into her as you say

does your girl like flowers? get her some flowers does your girl like horses? get her a horse does your girl like sports? get her a sport

and like that goes for activities too if youve decided to date an adrenaline junkie take her to an amusement park or go skydiving or something

or even just crack open a bottle of fancy wine or whatever

shit is special if you make it special dude and if i tell you exactly what to do that ruins the whole idea of it being special

anyway good luck hope you dont bomb it

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm a mother of a beautiful girl who is currently in the second grade. She constantly comes home complaining of a boy bothering her in class. I have gone to her teacher to try and figure out what we can do to make her feel more comfortable at school, but the teacher simply said that the boy probably had a crush and told me that this was a normal peer interaction among children their age.

While I understand that many children do not know how to properly express their emotions or their feelings, I can't help but feel suspicious of this determination. My daughter has said that this boy has pulled her hair and pushed her down on the playground. I don't care what the teacher says - that is NOT the behavior of somebody with a crush.

Sincerely, Concerned Mother

Dear Miss Concerned,

You have every right to be concerned. However, the teacher is right. That boy almost certainly does have a crush.

You see, Miss Concerned, in all my years of giving advice and viewing the world from my lofty place above it, I have come to the conclusion that a man in love becomes the stupidist and most brute-ish thing imaginable. This starts from a very young age, and though the man may be able to temper his natural instincts upon growing older and even produce the occasional bouquet of flowers, this is natural. Why, even at my decidedly unspecified age, I sometimes encounter men who show their undying affection for me by "vagueing" me, as I understand is the modern parlance, in their own personal advice columns.

(By the by, Mr. Strider, everybody knows that my column has more regular readers than yours does.)

That said, this behavior is unacceptable. Were this a fully grown man, of course, I would say that you should toss him to the Old One of your choice as an offering of appeasement for not destroying our planet eons ago, but this is still just a second grade boy. Foolish and brutish as he may be, I will never condone child sacrifice. Instead, focus on the teacher.

Tell her that you don't care if this boy has a crush - it is unacceptable that your daughter is being made to feel unsafe and unhappy in a place of learning, which should be open to her. Children do not learn or grow well in environments they are uncomfortable in. If this boy is making her uncomfortable then, whatever his reasons for doing that may be, he needs to be talked to and he needs to be stopped. That is the long and short of it. If the teacher seems unwilling to help, take it to the principal. If the principal is equally reluctant, then pitch a fit and give some of your fellow parents a reason to outrage. Make the local news. Cause a national movement for little boys to stop pulling little girl's hair in an attempt to flirt. Eventually, the teacher will have to give in. Or at the very least, pressure from social media will get her fired for showing such painful neglect at her job.

Once that happens, naturally, you may sacrifice her to the Old One of your choosing.

I hope that these words bring you comfort and wisdom. You sound like you are a good and caring mother.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I have a crush on a guy, but I don't know how to get his attention. What can I do to get him to notice me?

-- Crushing in California

dear crushinator

well first off let me tell you what NOT to do

the thing that you definitely dont do is call this guy out for vagueing you on your very public advice column especially if youre going to pretend that youre a cool dark mistress of the night who ritually sacrifices people to the tentacled gods of your nightmares i mean okay i guess i should specify that you will definitely get noticed but not in the way that you want despite that saying there is such a thing as bad attention especially when youre attempting to woo a guy

anyways i guess it really depends on the kind of guy youre looking at what do you know about this dude is he into video games?? go take a picture of yourself with a controller in your mouth and accidentally send it to him then hell know for sure that youre a gamer gurl and hell ask to play some fresh games with you and then you have an in (make sure youre actually okay at video games though maybe)

is he into sports??? go dress yourself as a ball

or wear a jersey with his favorite team on it or something

just get a conversation started honestly or if youre already in the conversation zone you can start dropping mad innuendos left and right maybe put on some nice clothes or bat your eyelashes a bit you know just do something special

and again dont call him out on "vagueing" you or hell just continue to talk smack about you to his huge avid fanbase and then youll just be sad and embarrassed

hope that helps

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm a high school student and there's a few people who keep bothering me on social media. They aren't bullying me or anything, but they keep mentioning me in posts and responding to all of my statuses. It's getting kind of annoying. What should I do?

Sincerely, I just want some peace and quiet on my FB Feed!

Dear FB Feeder,

Truly, now you understand the trials and tribulations that I myself face on a near daily basis. I do not know you or your body of work, but clearly within the realm of your school, you must be somewhat famous.

Now, I do not know the gender or sexual orientation of these bothering people you mention, but I would hazard a guess that at least one or two of them are interested in pursuing you romantically, but due to having the emotional maturity of a teenager, they do not know how to pursue you in a way that is not hugely annoying.

I am sure you would like to hear that this behavior will naturally fade over time as said teenagers grow and mature into proper young adults, but I am saddened to inform you that often this is not the case. Why, one can even become a semi-professional advice columnist and yet still resort to calling out their crushes in a public space. Therefore, you will need to take some actions in order to ease your own annoyance at the situation.

The easiest option would, of course, be to block them, but I do not claim to be an expert on the delicate social balance of your high school. Perhaps blocking these individuals would be a social faux pas from which you could never recover. In that case, many websites (and I suspect this mysterious "FB" is among them) have a way to block people from showing up on your feed. This may not solve the problem, but may fix some of the annoyance.

You could also try talking to them. Tell them that their constant attention is annoying and unflattering. If they are trying to impress you, then they will back off. If they are trying to get to you, then they are bullying you, and you can report them to the adult of your choice.

Naturally there is always the option of throwing them to the Beasts Below, who quite enjoy annoying human souls.

I hope this helps.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear Disc Jockey Strider,

I have a quandary. You see, there is a particular rival of me who seems to, as of late, decided to take it upon himself to mention me in nearly every single public answer he grants to his purported legion of devoted fans. I am beginning to think that perhaps there is something more to his constant mentions of me. Is this a cry for help? Could it be that the adviser, in this case, should become the advisee?

Sincerely, An Anonymous, but Concerned, Reader

dear anonymous tentacle therapist,

yeah haha nice try

--- dj strider

dear tentacle mistress of the night,

hey so i have this problem and that problem is primarily the fact that theres this creepy advice columnist whos constantly up in my grill and i think shes gotta be in love with me

i mean i also have a problem in that im just drowning in so many fans that i cant barely see straight but thats one hundred percent beside the point

whats my plan of action here do i let her down gently or what

sincerely, a super cool dude with a better advice column than this

Dear Your Advice Column Is Not Better,

It certainly sounds like you have quite the conundrum but I must wonder. Is it her that is in love with you? Or might you be projecting somewhat? After all, it seems to me that you might have been the one who started it. If her responses, as you claim, indicate that she is clearly in love with you, then I am afraid that by your same logic you must simply be head over heels.

In that case, I would not recommend letting her down gently. Not because of her feelings - oh no. I doubt that she has feelings one way or the other about whether or not you actually get the guts to ask her out. No, I would highly recommend that you not let her down gently because, based on what I have inferred from you in this very anonymous and mysterious question, I worry for the implications on your psyche should you make the decision to try and turn this girl down before you have ever confessed your feelings.

No, my professional recommendation is that you suck it up and you go to her and you ask her out. She will likely turn you down, of course. I understand that she has high standards. But if you continue to keep your feelings pent up, it will only hurt you and those around you. Besides, if you do not give it a shot, then you will never know what could come from it. You never know. You might just be surprised by what she says, if you go about it the right way.

Also, I do know for a fact that you have her number.

Your move, Strider.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I was wondering, what's your advice for what to do on a first date? I just met this really pretty girl and we've been flirting a lot, and she agreed to go out with me. But now I have to actually think of a good date idea! What should I do?

Also, since it is a first date, I don't know THAT much about her, since I know that's usually what you tell people who come to you for relationship advice. I mean, that's what the first date is for, right?

Sincerely, Nervous First Timer

dear nervous,

okay yeah for once you got a situation in which im not gonna come over and sit your ass down about actually knowing your girlfriends interests because hey news flash shes not your girlfriend

yet

dont worry my man i will come up with a plan to fully woo this girl and you will then have a girlfriend and then maybe even a wife

just send me a wedding invite okay

actually this goes for everyone if i ever land you a wife or a husband or a gender non specific spouse send me a fuckin wedding invite i probably wont go but i might and i give you permission to advertise to all of your friends and family that you might have a minor local celebrity attending your big special day

but yeah first dates

first off you probably want to do something with a specific end time or else youre gonna end up trapped in a moment of like is it time to end this? do i wanna be the one who has to say i have to go? if nothing else give yourself an excuse to leave at a specific time like you gotta meet a friend or catch a bus

the other thing is that you gotta make sure you leave time to actually you know. talk.

i know seeing a movie seems really tempting and yeah movie dates can be fun but consider what youre actually doing on that date

youre staring at a screen while sitting next to somebody who is a borderline stranger and maybe enjoying a baller flick but are you really advancing that relationship at all?

nah

so yeah generally something like a lunch or a dinner can be pretty good but it can be tricky and awkward if you dont know what youre gonna talk about like what if you start talking and realize you got nothing in common that you actually care about

so thats either good for a second date or if youre like an awesome conversationalist who is always confident that youre able to keep a conversation going no matter who youre talking to

so its usually a good idea to do something thats a little more focused

if you do know anything about her then you can bring her to an event you know she might like

maybe a museum or something? aquarium? zoo? i guess a sport game could work but as i understand it there are drones that come around and demand that you kiss for the crowd so maybe thats not the best idea

anyways just make sure its something for you guys to talk about other than your own awkward burgeoning romance

anyways in the end the important thing is just be yourself dude

i can say from recent personal experience that being yourself works wonders and if it doesnt work wonders then that probably means that the relationship wasnt gonna work well anyways

just make sure you dont dump all your biggest darkest secrets on the first date though or else you dont give your nosy date anything to come back for the next time

but actually that maybe only works if your date is trying to pretend she is a therapist

anyways good luck dude hopefully that gave you some good ideas

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm in a kind of new relationship and it is going great! This guy is great and I could really see it going places. We've been going steady for about a month and a half now, but he's seemed really hesitant about telling other people about us. He won't list himself as being in a relationship on social media, and though some of our mutual friends obviously know, I don't know how vocal he's been about it with the other people in his life.

Now, we are gay, but he's also really openly gay to everybody that he knows, so I don't think that's a big part of it. Everybody knows he likes guys, so the fact that he's dating me shouldn't be that big of a deal. So what's going on? Does he just really value his privacy or is he planning to dump me soon? What signs should I be looking out for. (I need to know when it is appropriate to plan my tentacled sacrifice after all. :P)

Sincerely, Are We Dating Or What?

Dear Schrodinger's Boyfriend,

I'm afraid that going public with a relationship is always a tricky thing, regardless of whether or not the status of your sexuality is broadcast to the entire world. There are many, many reasons that your boyfriend may not want to go public with you. I will, of course, get the obvious out of the way. He may be possessed by one of the Old Ones, in which case, they are notoriously shy about their relationships. They have lived for millenia, so they feel no reason to rush through things. Be patient with them, and it will pay off in a major way.

Now, there is the (admittedly slim) chance that your beau is but a normal human man, with all of the normal lovable foibles of human men. If this is the case, I can see a few options.

The first is the one that I think you are the most scared of - he's Just Not That Into You. Either he is cheating on you (or perhaps you are the one he is cheating with?) or he has plans to end the relationship soon. I cannot predict which of these it is, but if you have mutual friends who know, it may not be a bad idea to ask one of them for their input on the situation. Naturally, if either of these is the case, offer his body up for possession by an Old One. You will have the same problem, but rest assured that the Old One will be faithful and loyal to you up until the point it decides to use your flesh organs as part of an important summoning ritual.

The second option is simply that he is shy or cautious. Maybe, despite being openly gay, he is still somewhat embarrassed by a relationship. Perhaps he has relatives who would harass you if they knew who you were.

Or perhaps he has been burned by rushing into a public relationship in the past.

Perhaps he was, once upon a time, with another boy who he went public with too soon. Perhaps the pressure of the relationship made him feel like he had to perform that relationship to an extent that felt unnatural to him. Perhaps he didn't like how it felt, having something so new, personal, and delicate being handed out to the world at large.

I don't know the type of people who might like to look at your boyfriend's life, but it is also entirely possible that he would not want them to know of any relationship of his, simply because they will find a way to butt their noses in and ruin it. An overbearing mother, perhaps? Nosy friends? A needy ex, who will proceed to harass you as soon as your name is out there as being his "Facebook Official" beau.

Needless to say, there are many reasons that he could want to refrain from making your relationship public that actually have very little to do with your relationship. In fact, it could even be a sign that he values your relationship. He values what you have so much that he doesn't want to share what you have with the rest of the world and thus risk losing it.

Though, of course, he could be cheating. It is possible that I am injecting some of my own thought processes too heavily into this answer. I do not truly know your boyfriend, so I cannot say for sure what his thoughts are. The best thing I can really advise you do is... ask.

Good luck.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I think that two of my friends have hooked up, but I'm not sure. They used to be really annoying to each other, and our other friends and I always joked that they were flirting, but I at least never actually meant it. But now they don't bother each other as much and they're just kind of... calm together. And there are a lot of times that the two of them are pretty obviously missing from group get togethers.

So... were they actually flirting?? Are they dating now?? What if they break up? That will just make them even more annoying!

Sincerely, Kind of Grossed Out

dear kind of

yeah your friends are definitely banging now and yeah they probably were always actually flirting but they might not have been aware of it

see sometimes if you are an asshole you dont know how to express affection apart from acting like an extra asshole to the people that you like and usually this is a self correcting feature since like youll drive away all of the people you like so they dont have to put your extra asshole-ness the real kicker comes when you end up crushing on somebody who can actually match your punches and act like an equally big asshole in return

its a very delicate dance honestly and you should just be glad that you got to view it in its natural habitat if only youd caught it on camera you could have sold that shit to discovery channel and got richard attenborough to dub over it with his cool nature documentary voice and here we see the assholes in their elaborate mating ritual though it may look like a fight to outsiders they are actually both getting really turned on by it and are gonna fuck vigorously in a month or two

anyways yeah its gonna suck if they break up but honestly what break up doesnt suck

i dont think the way that the flirting process happens really dictates how much a break up process is going to suck and from personal experience probably theyd be less annoying broken up than theyd be together since theyd just avoid each other which is a whole other kinda stress but yeah

i guess what im trying to say is yes your friends are definitely boning down embrace it and congratulate them or something also make sure that none of them are in charge of any advice columns

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

Hello, I Am A Long Time Reader, First Time Writer

I Was Simply Wondering How One Would Hypothetically Go About Wooing An Advice Columnist That They Thought Was Very Clever And Humorous

This Is A Hypothetical Scenario Of Course I Was Just Wondering

Sincerely, A Fan

Dear Cooling Unit,

Honestly, I stared at this letter for quite a while, wondering how to answer it. I would have guessed that this was written by DJ Strider, in fact, if I didn't know for a fact that he would never put enough effort into writing something to press the shift button that often.

Regardless, I am sure that now is about the point where I am supposed to tell you how to woo me. This is where you expect me to say that the worst way to woo me is to slyly reference me in your public column for the whole world to see. Honestly, that is a technique that I would not have expected to work on paper, but it must have its merits.

At any rate, I suspect that technique would not work on most advice columnists, so I suppose I will simply continue under the assumption that this is the Very General And Hypothetical Advice that you assured me you were asking for.

My simple advice is thus: treat wooing them like you would any other person. If you do not know them in real life or do not have an easy way to contact them other than through their advice column, then pursuing a relationship is inadvisable. They will treat you as yet another fan, and I can say from personal experience that I am not terribly interested in dating fans.

"Fans," you see, tend to put you up on a pedestal. They take a look at you and think that you have hung the moon, which means that the only way for their opinion of you to go is down. Having a healthy, normal outlook on your strengths and weaknesses as a partner is down-grading their image of you, which means that no matter what, you will become a disappointment to them. The moment you mess up in front of somebody who idolizes you, it will feel like a betrayal to them, because you don't match the perfect image they have built in their head.

No, I would be far more interested in pursuing somebody who is my equal, through and through, and I suspect the same is true of most other hypothetical advice columnists. If you do find one who is excited by the fact you are a fan, they are undoubtedly an egotistical narcissist who wants to hear about how they hung the moon. While I do not deny that hearing of my moon-hanging exploits is quite the enjoyable experience for me, it is not a solid foundation for a relationship. If you find such a columnist who wants to build a relationship on that, might I recommend putting a sample of their blood into a summoning circle to bring about a personal curse on their house and home?

At any rate, any advice that is seeking out this particular advice columnist's interest will, sadly, be too little too late. Against all odds, I happen to be taken with somebody else.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I kind of pissed my girlfriend off. How do I get back on her good side?

Sincerely, In the Dog House

dear i hope thats not a petplay reference holy shit,

okay see this is why people need to provide me more details about their problems like look at me i write long and heartfelt messages to all of you

like i really inject my soul into these answers make sure theyre multi paragraph endeavors and what do you give me?

"oh yeah my girlfriends pissed" like what do you want me to do with that theres so many factors at play here about how to get back on her good side or even if such a feat is possible cause trust me there are ways to get on a bad side permanently and for all i know you have done something worthy of the permanent bad side

like did you fucking go out and cheat on her?? if so then go ahead and dump yourself she doesnt deserve to put up with you

if you just like forgot to wash the dishes that one time or something???? yeah thats probably an offense you can recover from and im hoping that youre talking about something like that over the cheating because i am not a pro cheating advice column ill have you know

im a respectable advice column with family values and also a decent and healthy amount of respect for all romantic partners

anyways if you did something like forget an anniversary then that depends entirely on the girl and how long youve been together and how badly you forgot it

if it is a make up-able offense though what you do to get on her good side is......... also dependent on some awesome details that you didnt fucking give me

like my dude did you put effort into this question at all

did you just decide to mass produce this so that you could send it to multiple advice bogs? actually im gonna ask around and see if anybody else i know got it

anyways its a shit question put more effort in next time

some general shit you can do is obviously like buy her something that she likes take her on a special date to a place that she likes or try and do the thing you screwed up the first time but dont screw it up this time

but mostly just apologize

though i kinda hope you did that already because if you didnt even think to toss a lil im sorry in between the time you sent this and the time it took me to process it and actually respond then im sorry you might be beyond help

oh yeah that said one way to get on a girlfriends good side is to be a super famous advice columnist because then whatever you write will be public and apparently your girlfriend could be into public apologies like i dont know you didnt give me enough to work with

but i guess this is to say uh

sorry for joking about the thing you were right youre always right everybody should go to the best advice column ever the tentacled therapist for all of your best advice needs

(that was not a paid advertisement btw but i cant say that it was done entirely by choice)

((but no really im joshing you dont tell tt but her advice is actually pretty sound. even some of the ritual sacrifice stuff is kinda reasonable when you think about it. she usually only recommends it to assholes that deserve it its not just a blanket ritual since thatd have no meaning))

anyways good luck i guess?

like good luck if you arent a douchebag and i guess if you ARE a douchebag then good luck to your girlfriend i hope she dumps you and goes on to clearer waters

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm thinking of proposing soon. What are your thoughts on a public proposal? On the one hand, it's kind of romantic getting to share a special moment with a lot of other people... but on the other hand, it does kind of trap the other person into saying yes because they don't want to seem like a jerk in front of a lot of other people. What do you think is the way to go with this one?

Sincerely, Nervous Proposer

Dear Nervous Proposition,

Whether or not a public proposal is a good idea depends entirely on the person that you are proposing to.

By this point, I would hope that you had some sort of idea about what the person you are proposing to might like as far as public proposals. Are they easily embarrassed by attention, or do they soak it up like they are plants who desperately need all available sunlight for photosynthesis? How keen are they on things such as surprise birthday parties? Have you ever thrown them a surprise birthday party? Perhaps, before considering marriage, you should throw them a surprise birthday party. You cannot truly know a person until you have seen their reaction to such a fiasco.

I would also recommend that the two of you have discussed the topic of marriage before you even consider popping the question to your prospective fiance. I wouldn't propose until the two of you consider yourselves to be - and I apologize for my use of this cliché - "engaged to be engaged." Make sure that your partner is planning on the prospect of a marriage with you.

You might even consider doing two proposals - one more subdued, in private, just to make sure that they say yes. Then you can propose that you have a big surprise that the two of you get to share with everybody else, and you get to propose a second time without any of the stress.

Now, personally, public proposals are not my style, and anybody dating me would know better than to do such a proposal. But.

That is assuming that they can beat me to the punch. ;)

I wish you luck in your endeavors, and I am sorry there was no good place for sacrifices to the Old Ones in this week's column.

Sincerely, The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

Who should I pick to be my Maid of Honor? I have two really good friends. One I am closer to, and I know she'll probably pick me to be her maid of honor... but the other one is a LOT better at planning shit out. I know that if I pick her, my wedding will be run like a well-oiled machine, but I also don't want to upset my other friend. Then again, the friend who's good at planning might be offended that I chose the closer friend, and be frustrated when she has to deal with her bad planning as a bridesmaid.

So... who do I pick? It feels like I lose no matter what.

Sincerely, Fretting Fiance

dear ff

yo i fucking hear you on this shit weddings are the most stressful thing that has ever been invented by man

i mean man in the generic sense btw not the male human sense though i guess it might have also been made by a male human? idk i should ask about the history of weddings later maybe

anyways its all politics dont let anybody tell you any different

like you gotta be oh so careful with your seating placements at the reception or ol grandma berthas gonna tear the eyes out of uncle jimmy and we cant risk getting that blood all over the table cloths or else were gonna have to pay a really big fee to the table cloth company we hired and were already gonna be broke because of the honeymoon

and yeah we gotta make sure that shellys the bridesmaid second from the left because otherwise shell block out kelly in all the wedding pictures and kelly will pitch a fit

anyways i guess the easiest thing to do is going to just be to talk to them

you could always offer to split the honor between the two of them too if your planny friend is as good as planning as you say i bet you can come up with a good way to work 2 maids of honor into the ceremony

also uh i guess this is a good a time as any to make a lil announcement guys

so after april rolls around im not gonna be dj strider anymore

better get ready to start making your pleas for help out to dj lalonde

-- the artist formerly known as dj strider

#homestuck #daverose #dersecest #though they are not related in this fic #stripe writes #stripe au challenge

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ask-broppy-lovechild-blog · 8 years

Text

True Colors

This is the third chapter, hope you like it :3

P.S This is I guess a better chapter. After this chapter, I can get started with the actual story. This is a story I made Wattpad and AO3. Thats why i can easily publish them! Enjoy!

"Well, let's see what gender it becomes." She said, looking as the ground grows a bit. They can see a tiny bulb on the ground. The upcoming parents smile at their creation. ~Previously

The queen has gotten into the gift of things, scheduling meetings on time, having time for branch, and occasionally checking on the pod. The wedding was only days away, everything was going right. However, they've been having problems with Ferret attacks.

A Ferret: a domesticated polecat kept as a pet or used, especially in Europe, for catching rabbits. It is typically albino or brown. However, they still haven't checked out the buildings in the distance, but they have a feeling that's where it's coming from. They're letting their ferrets loose and they come to chase the trolls and attack the bergens legs. They're like little rats that will eat anything that can fit in their mouth, in this case, Trolls. Because of this, Branch is over protective of his pod.

It was only one day before the wedding, and to stop any interruptions, they build the walls a bit higher and that locked the gates and doors very tight so they won't be able to just break in. Branch had got them new clothes, as Satin and Chenille worked in the wedding dress and suits. He didn't ask for much, but he wanted it to be....special.

What does Branch do you may ask? He doesn't just sit around and wait for poppy to get home, he actually does things. He takes care of the bunker, helps out with the kids if Poppy isn't able to be there, he also does some requests, by listening to his future subjects and finding out how to help. It's just a coincidence when Branch gets home before Poppy does.

Branch went in to pick up his suit as he is not allowed to see Poppy's dress before the wedding. They gave him a black and white suit, the bowtie was blue and so was the buttons that ran across it. He had a pocket, that was located on his chest area, with a cute fake blue flower coming out of it.

"Thank you, I love it." He said with a smile as he looked at the twins.

"Awww, that was so sweet-" Satin started, "Of you to say, Branch" Chenille finished. "You're welcome!" They both said in harmony.

It was the day, for both lovers to finally get married and live together once and for all. Branch was, of course, nervous and paranoid of the whole thing. He waits in a room for a bit until he can calm. He had Biggie, Diamond Guy, and Cooper with him to calm him down.

"Easy, Branch, Easy...breathe in...then breathe out. It's your lucky day! Be happy!" Biggie encouraged Branch.

"Y-Your right, I should stay calm." He said, calming down.

"It's a once and a lifetime thing. You're marrying the one you had a crush on for ye-e-ars" Diamond Guy said, auto tuning 'Years'.

"I guess your right, I never thought this would be happening" he said, calming a bit more.

"Does that mean you'll be King Branch if everything goes right?" Cooper asked, and then Branch panicked when he said '....if everything goes right'.

Meanwhile, Poppy had her dress on. It was the stereotypical white dress, and had the face cover. It was very long, but she didn't mind. The one thing she hated was that she had to wear high-heels. She couldn't walk in these! She was gonna be so embarrassed when she trips! She starts panicking at this. She had Satin, Chenille, Suki, and Smidge there to calm her down.

"It'll be okay!-" Satin started, "We'll help you get used to them!" Chenille finished, looking at the panicked Queen.

"I-I don't have much time!" She said, as she sits down and runs her hand through her hair.

"Calm down Poppy, if you cooperate with us, we can get you used to it quicker than you think!" Suki comforted, hoping she'd calm and take the offer.

"Sitting down and panicking is waisting valuable time we could be using to help you" Smidge said to her, and she calmed.

"Y-You're right, I'm waisting time. Let's go do this" she said as she stands wobbly, and they help her balance and teach her how to walk in high-heels comfortably.

After some hours, they finally start. Everyone sits down and goes quiet, as the music starts playing. Branch breathes in and out and calmly waits for his bride. Poppy was still kind of panicking, listing out all the possible things that could go wrong like Branch would do.....Branch is really starting to rub off on her.

She starts walking, and cautiously walk, not wanting to make a mis-step because of her high-heels. She climbed up the small stairs, and didn't fall! She was so relieved when she could stop walking and looked at Branch and he looked back. A dark purple blush creeped up on Branch's face, but also a huge smile. Poppy's face also flushed red, but a even bigger smile did also.

"We are gathered together on this beautiful afternoon to share with Queen Poppy and Prince Branch as they exchange vows of their everlasting love." The Priest started.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" He asked.

"I did" King Peppy places Poppy's hand in Branch's hand and is seated.

"As Queen Poppy and Prince Branch take their vows today, we are privileged to witness the joyous love of a new family -- a family that will be nourished and nurtured through the devotion of two separate individuals growing together through the common bonds of love. May their marriage bring them the peace, joy, comfort and contentment that is known in the hearts of all God's children. And may Prince Branch and Queen Poppy both look forward to each new season of their marriage --- just as the world looks forward to each new season of the year. For all seasons bring with them their own special moments and memories. An essential requirement of a good marriage is a strong bond of real friendship and trust. Queen Poppy and Prince Branch, your love for each other will grow deeper with every passing day, but it's important to remember that your love stands on a foundation of genuine, mutual affection and respect for each other. To truly LOVE another person is to be willing to accept both their strong points, and their weak points, with equal measures of understanding and respect. The vows you are about to exchange, will serve as a verbal representation of the non-verbal emotions that are as real as any thing that can be seen, heard or touched. For it is not the words that you will speak today that will bond you together as one --- but the strength of the love and commitment found deep within your souls." The priest finished, and looked around for a sec.

"Let us pray . . ." The Priest said as everyone bows their head.

"At this time, I'll ask you, Branch, and you, Poppy, to face each other & take each other's hands." The Priest said.

Branch gently and tenderly takes Poppy's hands, as she gently holds back. The smile of both happy Trolls grows even bigger if that was possible at this point.

"Prince Branch, will you take Queen Poppy to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" The Priest said as looked up as everyone else did.

Branch answers, "I will" looking into her eyes.

"Queen Poppy, will you take Prince Branch to be your husband, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish his friendship and love him today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor him, laugh with him and cry with him? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" The priest repeated.

Queen Poppy answers, "I will" and she looked back into eyes.

"You may kiss the Bride." The Priest said and took one step back.

Branch calmly and slowly, not panicking like he was before; removed the face cover so he can perfectly see the beautiful and kind face of his pink queen. The two kiss, sharing a tender kiss. Then there was clapping and some cheering. After the kiss, Poppy yells:

"LETS PARTY!" And everyone gets up and throws their hats up and cheer as everyone goes to get cake and party.

(A/N: I've never been at a marriage or have been in one. So sorry if all of this is wrong >~<)

Branch chuckles, "My Poppy." he said and she looked back at him with a smile. They share another private kiss before following everyone else.

They have an after-wedding party, where all the cake was shared, and the snacks and drinks where all gone. The place was a mess, and then King Peppy told them that it's time. They all go on top of the largest mushroom as everyone gathers around to hear the announcement.

"After the wedding, Prince Branch shall not be a Prince anymore. Today, he shall be a King. Branch, would you take this crown as your honor?" King Peppy said as he turned to his son-in-law. Branch goes on one knee and lowers his head.

"I shall" he said, and waits for him to continue.

"We shall now celebrate, Branch, the new King of The Troll tree and founder helper of Bergen Town!" He said as everyone jumped and cheered as the crown was placed on his head. He stands back up and Poppy and Branch holds hands and waves as everyone cheered.

"S-Sorry to interrupt!" Poppy's and Branch's Pod sitter said as she ran up stage.

"What is it?" Branch asked, concerned.

"Y-Your Pod is hatching!" They said, out of breath. Everyone goes wide-eyed as Branch and Poppy race to their pod.

Everyone runs after, wanting to see the birth of the new prince/princess. Some of them went to check in their own pods to see if it's hatching. They reach the spot where the fully grown pod glowed and the ground was shaking slightly. The pod grew up, and then bends over in a table level. Then the petals slowly go down to reveal the Trolling inside as everyone watched curiously. The doctor Troll went over to make sure the baby was a live and well. The smile and look at Poppy and Branch and handed them their baby...or should I say....babies? having Poppy be the first to hold it.

"It's twins! A boy and a girl" the doctor said to them with a smile.

The first baby ran with the colors like their seed had. He had purple skin, almost the color of Creeks skin, just a bit lighter. They had a dark blue nose, with blue hair at the bottom and slowly dark to light pink heading to the top. It was combined like Creek's or the twins hair with the multi-colored hair. He had Branch's ears but Poppy's head. The baby had Branches canines, and when it opened its eyes, he had a purple colored eye, and a blue colored eye. He was fairly small and was cute as everyone 'awww'ed. The second baby was exactly the same, but the eyes where different. The boy had a purple left eye and a blue right eye. She had a blue left eye and a purple right eye.

"What should we name them?" Branch asked Poppy.

"I did say it was a gender-fluid name. So let's call him Iris. Prince Iris, and I'll let you name the girl." she said with a huge smile as Branch kissed her cheek.

"Her name can be Ivy, Princess Ivy" he said with a huge smiled and she kissed his cheek

"Wanna hold one?" She asked him as he nodded. He held tiny Ivy, as she was the size of one of Branch's huge hands.

Everyone started to go check in their pods as they started to head home. But before they did, they wanted to see if any of the snack packs had a Trolling. They first spotted the twins; their pods just opened. The doctors checked on them before giving them to their parents.

"They're both girls" they said with a smile.

"Imma name mines Maybelle" Satin said, "and mines Erica" Chenille said.

Maybelle had the colors of her mother, but white hair and blue eye. The had a birth mark on her cheek, and she has very much rounded ears. Erica ran with the colors of her mother, but a bit darker and her hair scheme went with white and orange for some reason. The two smiled and the go onto the next friend they spotted, that was Guy Diamond. His was already born.

"What gender is it?" Poppy asked him.

"This is Sparkle, she's a girl" he said with a smile.

She was green, and had green sparkles. Her eyes was like her fathers, and she was very sparkly. They head to the next that they spotted, with was Suki.

"So, who's this fellow?" Branched asked her.

"This is my son, Sebastian" she said and she played with his hair.

He had normal orange hair and looked just like his mother. It was like you couldn't tell them apart except the fact that he had a huge birth mark on his back.

"What are you doing with his hair?" Poppy asked her as she noticed her playing with his hair.

"Dreading it" she said, "so he can have dreads" she finished and continued to dread his hair. The both shared a chuckle.

"Then how are we gonna tell one from another?" Branch joked, knowing the answer to that.

"One sounds feminine and one sounds masculine" she said and giggled as the two left and she waved them goodbye.

They found Biggie, and he held his baby. It was bigger than all the others, meaning it was a giant troll like their father.

"Mind if we ask who that is?" Branches asked, kinda getting tired of saying that.

"This is Baby, I called her that cause she's my Baby" Biggie said with a smile. Branch kinda wasn't so surprised with Biggie's lack of creative names. I mean, who calls their pet Mr. Dinkles?!

"She is a big one, probably gonna be a touch girl" Poppy said, looking at the size of Baby.

"I hope she is" he replied.

She was only a bit bigger than Mr. Dinkles. She was all purple, with an orange nose. She had Pink eyes, and almost no hair, but she did have hair that was pink. The wave and leave, while walking to see if Cooper or Smidge had a child, Branch said,

"Can you ask them? I'm getting tired of saying that over and over again" he said to his wife.

"Okay, fine. Never thought you could be so lazy" she joked and kept walking.

Branch mutters under this breath, "Lazy? I'm not lazy....of course not"

Poppy heard him and giggled as they found the small Troll herself, Smidge. But man, has her baby tiny. You would have to squint a bit to focus on the baby.

"Awww! It's so small!" Poppy squeals, and Branch held the sleeping twins just in case she does something.

"Thanks, this is my son. Smurf" she said to them.

"Smurf? Why did you name him that?" Poppy questioned.

"Have you seen how he looks like?!" Smidge said, making Poppy hold him.

He was all light blue with blue eyes and his hair red.....he looked like papa smurf........that explains his name.....very self-explanatory......

"I see what you mean" she said as she gave Smurf back.

The two go to find Cooper, who was in a circle, and cuddling something in a soft pile of cotton.

"Did you had a Trolling?" She asked him and walked over. He moves his head up to look at them, it revealed a baby.

"Who's that little Animal Troll?" Poppy asked in a cute baby voice.

"This is Trooper, my boy" he said quickly, "now shhh! He's asleep!" He said in a kinda whispered voice and laid his head down.

Trooper looked like a bandit. His stripes where white and his main color was black. His legs were grey, and had an Afro instead of dreads like Cooper. His Afro was red, he got the red color from his father and he had the eyes of his father. The two smile and leaves so they can rest. They go home and puts the Troll twins a soft bed together. They provide body heat for each other, and Branch puts a cover over them. But Poppy insisted that they should make the twins sleep with them, since it would be more safe and they can hold them. Branch was kinda not for the idea because of the fact that Poppy moves on her sleep, but if it was for safety, he'd do it.

He picks both up in the blanket and lay them on the now soft bed gently. He laid on the left side while she laid on the right. The two small Trollings slept in the middle of their loving parents. Prince Branch became King Branch, and Queen Poppy got to have a party. The best thing about this day was that the Trollings had been birthed into this lovely world. Poppy couldn't wait until they were older so she can actually do something with them! Branch didn't on the other hand.

#Broppy #Branch #Poppy #Branch x Poppy

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healthyeating43-blog · 5 years

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Keto Myths, My Starbucks Keto Iced Coffee & Maltodextrin Hype vs Truth

New Post has been published on https://dietguideto.com/awesome/keto-myths-my-starbucks-keto-iced-coffee-maltodextrin-hype-vs-truth/

Keto Myths, My Starbucks Keto Iced Coffee & Maltodextrin Hype vs Truth

Every time I share a picture of my Starbucks keto iced coffee, there’s a flurry of “that’s not keto!” comments mixed with concerned questions…

Specifically about the maltodextrin in (some) Starbucks sugar free syrups, and whether that kicks you out of ketosis or spikes your insulin worse than sugar.

Today I want to clear that up.

Keto Myths & Maltodextrin Hype

There are many “keto myths” floating around the web, getting repeated countless times without any real proof. People speak on keto like this or that is a hard fact, without anything to back it up other than “I heard…”

Then there’s also the source they heard it from, and the facts (truths) – as well as the facts that are NOT shared in those sources.

I’ll share an example on that so you can see what I mean, which should help you make more informed decisions (and do further research yourself) in the future.

For this post I’m using maltodextrin and my Starbucks order as an example as just one of many common “keto scares.” But what you’ll learn here can help you understand (or better research) similar “hot topics” in the keto community.

The big thing you’ll always hear about anything that contains maltodextrin (and thats A LOT of things!) is that it’s glycemic index is almost twice as high as sugar, and that it will spike your blood sugar through the roof.

You’ll learn what maltodextrin IS and reasons you may want to avoid it, which of the Starbucks sugar-free syrups have maltodextrin and which do not, why people say maltodextrin is “not keto” and more.

You’ll also get to see my blood sugar results – where I tested it on myself.

I’ll give you everything you need to know to decide for yourself…

What IS Maltodextrin?

Maltodextrin is basically just an additive. It’s used as a preservative, a thickener and a filler. It’s also used as a carrier, to add other ingredients to products.

It’s in A LOT of products such as: vitamins, baby formula, beer, beef jerky, medicines, protein bars & shakes, dressings, electrolyte drink mixes, sodas, you name it – you’ll often find it in STEVIA even.

You’ve been consuming and using maltodextrin ALL your life, so it’s nothing new since you went keto. It’s even in personal care products like lotion, shampoo, etc.

There are plenty of reasons NOT to love Maltodextrin but you should make your decision based on ALL the facts. And that decision can be personal to you.

It truly is JUST a preference, not a “keto rule.”

What you’ll often hear in keto communities is maltodextrin is “worse than sugar” – meaning the glycemic index is higher than sugar. The last part is true.

Dr. Eric Berg says maltodextrin is “very severe on your blood sugar” in this video. In another video he says “so if it’s that high on the glycemic index, it’s creating a MASSIVE SURGE in your blood sugar when you consume it.”

youtube

I don’t disagree with most of the points in his video, only two of them. First, maltodextrin IS gluten free even when it’s made from wheat: “the processing that wheat starches undergo in the creation of maltodextrin renders it gluten-free.” –source

I also disagree with his comment: “so if it’s that high on the glycemic index, it’s creating a MASSIVE SURGE in your blood sugar when you consume it.”

I’ll explain why. Because I love Dr. Berg and his work.

I’m not saying Maltodextrin is great or even good or that there aren’t reasons you may choose to avoid foods that contain it.

I’ll share all the details with you, then that’s a decision you can make for yourself.

Maltodextrin vs Sugar

(The BIG Point Nobody Mentions!)

The fact that most people are leaving out of their argument that maltodextrin IS THE DEVIL is that there is such a SMALL amount of it in any one serving or any one food or drink you may consume – so you are NOT consuming equal amounts of sugar and maltodextrin, EVER.

That is the (huge) point nobody ever explains.

You simply cannot compare maltodextrin and sugar in that way, as if they are equal, because it would be a highly RARE case that you are consuming more than a TINY amount of maltodextrin – a trace amount, really.

Consider drinking a Starbucks iced coffee with regular vanilla syrup vs sugar-free vanilla syrup. The grams of sugar in a regular sweetened iced coffee vs the grams of maltodextrin in a sugar-free iced coffee are not even comparable.

Let’s look at a real-life example…

Starbucks Iced Coffee is served “lightly sweetened” by default, but is not AT ALL sweet so you would never know it. The classic syrup (sugar water) they add by default has 30 grams of sugar in a 24oz Venti Iced Coffee.

If you add 4 pumps of regular vanilla syrup (not sugar free) to your iced coffee, that’s 20 grams of sugar per tbsp – assuming a pump is a tbsp. When you include the Classic Syrup (30 grams of sugar) you have a total of 110 grams of sugar in a Venti iced coffee with 4 pumps of vanilla syrup.

We’ll use this comparison because the Starbucks sugar-free vanilla syrup has maltodextrin in it.

Compare that to what I would order: a Venti iced coffee with “no classic syrup” (without the sugar water) and 4 pumps of sugar-free vanilla syrup.

Even if you counted 1 carb per pump (some people do, some don’t), that comes to 4 carbs vs 110 carbs.

Again: 20 grams of sugar per pump of regular vanilla syrup, or 20 carbs vs 1 carb per pump of sugar-free vanilla syrup.

See the difference?!

Obviously you are NOT consuming equal amounts of sugar and maltodextrin.

That’s the point no one mentions when they say maltodextrin has a higher glycemic index than sugar. I can’t personally think of a situation on a keto diet where you would consume more than a tiny amount of maltodextrin – and certainly never comparable to the amount of sugar in a high carb version of the same food or drink.

Further down you’ll see that Starbucks lists their sugar free syrups as ZERO carbs per 2 TBSP serving on the nutrition facts label. So I’m not sure who started the rumor that they were 1 carb per pump. Or maybe it’s a round up / round down issue. I have no idea. But I doubt the total carb count of the sugar free syrup (whatever it is) is from the maltodextrin alone, which again – is a trace amount.

Still, in that tiny amount…

Does maltodextrin cause a “MASSIVE SURGE” in your blood sugar?

That’s what I set out to test…

My Starbucks Keto Iced Coffee Order

The photo above was an iced coffee I had from Starbucks this week. I had two actually because I was in the city several days this week. I only have them now and then, it’s not a daily thing just a treat, because I don’t have a Starbucks where I live.

First, you should know: my coffee order is SWEET and it’s HUGE.

I sip on it most of the day and rarely ever finish one in a day. I’ll stick it in the refrigerator and finish it the next day most of the time, even.

That amount of heavy cream usually makes me feel full too, so I eat less on the days I have it. It almost serves as a meal replacement! It has about the same amount of calories as a BPC or fatty coffee, depending on the amount of cream you ask for.

Here’s what I order – and this is how I say it:

Trenta Iced Coffee no classic syrup 5 pumps of sugar free cinnamon dolce 4 pumps of sugar free vanilla and heavy whipping cream – only about 1/3 cup please

I usually say that with my fingers showing I mean 1/3 cup – not one third of THE cup. If I don’t specify the 1/3 cup of heavy cream, I log it as at least half a cup. They can get pretty heavy handed with the cream for my taste.

I’ll show you how I log it (carb count, etc) further down too…

For the purpose of my blood glucose / blood ketone test on this Starbucks iced coffee order (to see if it’s REALLY keto friendly), I ordered a smaller size (24oz vs 31oz) with the same amount of ingredients:

I did that because I wanted to be able to drink the entire thing in under an hour, like I would guess most people do – instead of sipping on it throughout the day.

I’ve been drinking that same Starbucks order over the last year with NO problem, and with my ketone levels holding steady, but for this test I wanted to consume it all at once.

I got one and stuck it in the fridge so I could do this testing at home the next day.

Let me just say… THIS tasted super sweet, more like a milkshake.

I would not normally get this much sweetener in a smaller iced coffee like this, but I wanted to really put this “maltodextrin” issue in the sugar free vanilla to the test.

If that iced coffee had NOT been ordered sugar free and with no classic syrup, it would have been 210 grams of sugar – plus 3.2 carbs for the heavy cream – for a total of 213.2 carbs.

I didn’t order this coffee, a friend brought it to me so I could do this test, so I definitely logged this one with half a cup of HWC (3.2 carbs) vs my usual 1/3 cup request (2.1 carbs).

Again, I’ll show you how I log it below, but even if you DID count 1 carb per pump of sugar free vanilla (the one with maltodextrin), that would come to 4 + 3.2 for a total of 7.2 carbs. I don’t log the syrups because they have zero nutritional value (no carbs, no calories), so I only log the HWC in my daily macro tracking.

On the high end, for the people DO that log EVERY pump as one carb, my order would be 12.2 carbs. Still nowhere near the 213.2 carbs for a NON sugar free version, or the 210 grams of sugar.

Let’s dive into the test results…

Does Maltodextrin REALLY Spike Your Blood Sugar?

The image above is my starting numbers for this test: my glucose and ketone levels before I drank the keto Starbucks iced coffee.

My glucose seemed a little high to start at 99. My baseline is around 85. My ketone levels were my normal level (1.3) for that time of day.

I use the Keto Mojo Blood Glucose & Ketone Testing Kit and that link will get you 15% off. If you want to learn more about it, here’s where I did a VERY enlightening video interview with the founder of Keto Mojo.

For the purpose of this “keto test” I drank the ENTIRE 24 ounce Starbucks iced coffee within 30 minutes.

This one was sweeter than my usual order (a smaller cup with the same amount of cream & sugar free syrups) – so it basically tasted like a MILKSHAKE.

I wanted to really put that “maltodextrin creates a MASSIVE SURGE in your blood sugar when you consume it” comment to the test.

30 minutes after drinking the entire coffee, I tested again:

As you can see, my blood sugar actually came DOWN.

My ketone levels dropped slightly too, but that’s not unusual as they fluctuate throughout the day and before/after you eat. I was still IN KETOSIS at 0.9 and my blood sugar did NOT spike. The opposite actually.

I tested again one full hour after having the coffee:

The result…

The Starbucks Iced Coffee is keto friendly. No question.

4 full pumps of sugar free vanilla syrup with maltodextrin did NOTHING to my blood sugar levels. Zilch – no impact.

So there ya go.

You may still want to avoid maltodextrin for your own personal reasons, which is totally fine. I did a little homework for you – so you know which syrups to NOT choose at Starbucks if that’s your preference…

Starbucks Sugar Free Syrups & Maltodextrin

Starbucks used to offer more sugar free syrup flavors, but right now it seems that at most locations you can only get sugar free vanilla or sugar free cinnamon dolce.

The sugar free vanilla DOES contain maltodextrin, and the sugar free cinnamon dolce does NOT.

Here are the Sugar Free Syrups that are currently available year round:

Sugar Free Vanilla contains maltodextrin Sugar Free Hazelnut contains maltodextrin Sugar Free Cinnamon Dolce does NOT contain maltodextrin

If you click each link, you can view the labels and nutrition facts.

ALL of them say ZERO carbs per 2 TBSP serving.

I think they’ve discontinued the sugar-free hazelnut and caramel syrups, as well as the sugar free peppermint syrup which used to be available during the holidays.

NOTE: their “whipped cream” HAS SUGAR IN IT so you definitely want to avoid that and use heavy cream or half & half in your Starbucks orders instead.

How I Log My Starbucks Keto Friendly Iced Coffee in MyFitnessPal

Some people say the syrups are 1 carb per pump. They don’t affect me and the labels say ZERO on the bottles you buy to use at home, so I don’t log them – but that’s a personal choice (too).

I log the amount of HWC (heavy whipping cream) I ask for which is usually 1/3 cup – or if I don’t specify or it looks lighter than usual, I log it as 1/2 cup (half a cup) to be safe.

Heavy Whipping Cream is 0.4 per tbsp, regardless of what your label says.

When it comes to labeling, they are able to round up or round down.

Anything less than half a carb can be labeled as zero, which is why most heavy whipping cream labels say zero carbs.

That can really add up on you in recipes though!

There are 16 TBSPs in a cup, making HWC 6.4 carbs per cup…

You simply want to find an entry in MyFitnessPal, or the tracker you use, that counts heavy whipping cream (HWC) as 1 carb for 2 TBSP. It’s also 50 calories per TBSP if you’re counting calories.

Individual Results May Vary

It’s worth noting that everyone may respond differently to various types of sugar free sweeteners or foods/products. It’s also worth noting that most people DO NOT properly do clean testing like I do, so their results may be skewed or diluted.

I do a full six day clean test on any new food or ingredient. That means I eat super simple known/tested foods (eggs, pecans, beef, etc) and often mono meals (single ingredient meals) for 72 hours prior to a glucose/ketone test.

I do this to get my body to baseline numbers, or optimal ketone/glucose levels, and so that there are NO other factors affecting my test.

I then test a single new food or ingredient (or Starbucks order), and follow that with another 72 hours of clean eating. I do that because it can take up to 72 hours to fully metabolize anything you consume – and longer if you drink alcohol.

I mentioned all of this in my recent sugar free chocolate chips keto test post & video.

I said then and I’ll say again: I don’t trust anyone else’s results.

That’s for two reasons. First because we are all different. And second because I don’t know ANYONE that does a full 6-day CLEAN test, and doesn’t take a single bite of anything else questionable.

This is a matter of comparing avocados to avocados – instead of avocados to apples.

Back to maltodextrin which is apparently “THE KETO DEVIL” according to keto communities and self-proclaimed keto gurus… I found it very interesting that the whole craze is based solely on a glycemic index comparison ONLY.

It’s simply not a fair comparison, as I demonstrated.

A trace amount, and that’s what it is: a TRACE amount, of maltodextrin is not at all the same as a serving of sugar – in any food or in any situation. Unless you’re testing a full TBSP of each side by side, which is just silly.

As for me, I’m going to continue enjoying my keto-friendly Starbucks iced coffees.

It’s really such a minor thing to cause such a HUGE stir across keto communities, in my opinion anyway.

I’m sure I’ve been consuming maltodextrin pretty much all my life, way before I went keto, and in more foods and products than I even care to know about.

I just can’t be bothered to scrutinize every little ingredient ALL the time, or to cut out something so ENJOYABLE as my sugar free iced coffee – which is a treat, by the way, not a daily thing but an occasional indulgence.

I also don’t gulp down the entire thing but rather sip on it and usually drink maybe half, then stick it in the refrigerator and finish the rest of it the next day.

I think at the point that I would get THAT picky about every single ingredient and trace additive in any food or ingredient or bottle of shampoo… I’d also have to question taking my next breath…

You can’t possibly believe the AIR is clean on this polluted planet we live on.

But that’s just me. I want to live freely and enjoy my life, and enjoy the widest range of flavors and foods and experiences, while staying in nutritional ketosis. Simple!

Like I said, it’s a personal preference. My coffee date friend prefers NOT to consume maltodextrin. He also doesn’t eat beef or pork. All personal choices, and all fine by me. He orders the iced coffee with heavy cream and sugar free cinnamon dolce syrup, then adds a packet of stevia from his pocket.

Just between you and I, his stevia packets list dextrose as the first ingredient – which is pretty much the same thing as maltodextrin (proof). Shhhh!!

Dextrose and maltodextrin are very similar. Something to Google if you’re interested. Also, anytime it says “natural flavors” maltodextrin may be used as the carrier for those. I always find it sketchy when “natural flavors” is listed as an ingredient – with no explanation of what those are exactly.

But again, if it tastes good and tests good – I’ll probably eat it.

Thoughts or Questions on Keto Starbucks or Maltodextrin?

Read more: feedproxy.google.com

#ketone testing #reviews #starbucks

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surviveuk · 6 years

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New Post has been published on https://www.surviveuk.com/survival-blog/urban-survival-in-the-aftermath-of-a-natural-disaster/

Urban Survival in the Aftermath of a Natural Disaster

There are many different types of natural disaster all of which have, at some point in recent history, seriously affected a major urban area at some location around the world. Hurricanes, tsunamis and earthquakes appear all too often on news bulletins and they all result in loss of life in almost every case. The horrible truth is that when a disaster of such a magnitude strikes, loss of life is inevitable but the aftermath can be just as deadly to any survivor, unless they have taken the necessary steps to ensure their own survival.

All disasters, natural or otherwise, have one thing in common, they all highlight just how unprepared the vast majority of people are when in comes to living without the things that they take for granted, like clean drinking water, food, electricity, sanitation and safe shelter.

Take hurricane Katrina for example, even after the storm had finished there were still people needlessly dying from dehydration and other related issues. The vast majority of those that died were elderly, but that doesn’t mean that their deaths were unavoidable. If they had only acted upon the warnings that were given before the storm hit and had filled up containers with tap water, and put aside food that wouldn’t spoil they would have increased their chances of survival exponentially.

Although, in the case of Katrina, many of those that died were quite frail and would have needed help to prepare for such a natural disaster, help that was unfortunately not always on hand or didn’t arrive quick enough.

Katrina was one of the worst natural disasters to hit the US in living memory and one that should have provided a wake up call for many about the importance of being prepared for any crisis.

However, most people will never learn from the past or from mistakes that others have made by not prepping and will continue to put all their trust in the workings and structure of modern society.

Even after being informed about an impending disaster most city dwellers will still naively expect their utilities to continue working as per normal, and should they get cut off, they would thoroughly expect utilities to be back up and running very soon afterwards with minimal disruption to the normal way of life.

Many people also have a misguided notion that help will be quickly with them should they need it, all they’ll need to do is call for it! The truth is that help is very unlikely to be available for the first few days after a disaster type scenario, the emergency services will be simply too busy to help everybody.

Unfortunately, when a city is hit by a real SHTF disaster everything that makes life safe and comfortable will be gone. No water, no electricity, no law and order, and no immediate help of any kind.

If your city or town is threatened by a natural disaster and you can’t get out to a safe location then basic disaster prepping is the way to go and will greatly improve your chances of survival.

Urban Disaster Prepping – The Basics

First of all let ‘s start by saying that the information below is as basic as it gets and there is a lot more that can be learned about urban survival, this post is barely scratching the surface. However, regardless of how basic this info is, what you are about to read is still the most essential guide to urban survival and will undoubtedly save your life.

1. Water

Clean drinking water is essential for your survival and your general well being. The vast majority of people expect clean water to be pumped to our homes continuously, ready to drink whenever needed. These same people will also believe that their supply will be unaffected by a natural disaster and that in the unlikely event their supply should go off it will be reconnected very quickly; unfortunately, the likelihood of this actually being the case is practically nil.

Without water you will quickly dehydrate which can then lead to a number of medical issues ranging in seriousness from dizziness to heart issues, depending upon the level of dehydration.

Your body is losing fluids constantly, through sweating, breathing and the passing of bodily waste; these fluids will need to be replaced which means clean drinking water is absolutely vital. Drinks that contain sugars, alcohol or caffeine are not a good idea and should be avoided because drinking them will only exacerbate the problem of dehydration.

You may have noticed that I have been continually mentioning that your drinking water needs to be clean that’s because after a disaster, particularly flooding, water will often be contaminated with raw sewage and toxic chemicals. Drinking contaminated water is extremely dangerous as there is a high probability of catching a disease or a dangerous infection that will often result in diarrhoea and sickness. Sickness and diarrhoea will rapidly worsen dehydration and will lead ultimately to death, if not treated quickly.

All of the above needn’t concern you if you have a prepped correctly and have a store of clean drinking water. Normal tap water will be fine to store, and it is best to do so in strong plastic containers. You should add a couple of drops of chlorine bleach for each gallon of tap water stored, this will act to disinfect the water and stop any algae or bacterial build up.

You will need to store about a gallon of water per person per day and you will need to store at least three days worth of supply, although storing enough for two weeks would be much more prudent.

If for some reason you cannot access your stored drinking water and you have no option but to drink water that isn’t clean, or you are unsure about, then you have two options; boil the water before using it or, drinking the water through an emergency water filter of some kind.

2. Shelter

Unless you are extremely unlucky, your home will probably still be intact, it might be a bit damp, or a little beaten up, but it should still be habitable and provide you with much needed shelter.

However, if you have lost your home you will need a temporary shelter that is both safe and dry. It will be an absolute necessity especially in extremely cold or hot conditions, when hypothermia and heatstroke respectively can quickly become killers.

Your shelter could be a tent or just a simple tarpaulin, but anything that provides you with protection from the weather is suffice.

You might be in the position to choose the type of shelter you use but, to a large degree, choosing where to locate your shelter will be dictated to you by the type of disaster that has hit your locale.

Flooding will force you to set up shelter in an area of higher ground whereas you will need to look for open ground away from buildings and tall trees if your city has been hit by an earthquake.

3. Clothing

We’ve just covered the importance of having a shelter to protect you from the elements, but your first line of defence will always be your clothing or whatever else you can find and use to wrap around your person.

The correct choice of clothing is more important when combating the wet and the cold. It is better to wear several layers of clothing rather than one thick layer and always try to wear woollen clothing if possible as wool keeps you warm even when wet!

You will lose most of your heat from your head so make sure you have a hat or at least put something on your head even if it is only a thick paper bag.

Your hands and feet will be susceptible to the cold so have some gloves and woollen socks at the ready.

If it is cold there is also a good chance it will be wet too so your clothing needs to be waterproof, or you should at least have a good waterproof coat. If you find yourself without any form of waterproofed clothing, look for a large piece of plastic sheeting. You can then just cut a hole in the middle of it just big enough for your head to fit through and voila, you’ve got an instant wet weather poncho.

In hot weather it is all about staying out the sun. If you do have to venture out then light weight clothing is the order of the day and the lighter the colour the better too as it helps to reflect the sun’s rays, absorbing less heat.

You should try to keep out of the sun during the hottest parts of the day and when you do go out make sure you are always wearing a hat, preferably a wide brimmed one, and try to ensure the back of your neck is covered if you have short hair.

4. Food

Although your stomach might tell you otherwise, food is not going to be on your list of immediate priorities, well at least for the first few days anyway.

Being hungry is not the greatest feeling in the world but food is something that a healthy adult can survive without for up to three weeks with no adverse affects, unlike water!

That being said, there really is no need to struggle without food. Storing food couldn’t be easier. You can quickly stock up on long lasting foods such as canned meat and vegetables, powdered milk, and pre-wrapped nutrition bars, anything really that has a long shelf life, doesn’t require cooking and doesn’t need to be stored in a refrigerator.

Just remember that if you are storing canned products don’t forget to store a can opener with your stash of cans! To Conclude…

Surviving in a city in the aftermath of a natural disaster is never going to be a pleasant experience but by ensuring you have covered the basics for survival as outlined above you will be massively increasing your chances of getting through it unscathed.

Author Bio

Danny Major is is the owner of Alpha Survivalist a relatively new website about survival and emergency preparedness. He was formerly a soldier in HM Armed Forces many moons ago, apparently when the colour of the uniform was red according to my kids!

#Natural Disaster #Urban Survival in the Aftermath of a Natural Disaster

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fashionoutfit6 · 6 years

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One Step-by-Factor Help guide Jot down an experienced Story Essay

There are lots of sorts of essays you may well be allotted to full. Often, it could be confusing a big difference involving two equivalent documents. Story essay is typically mistaken for the descriptive a person. This short article will guide you thru all crucial techniques and make it easier to compose a very good bit implementing the actual formatting guidelines.http://sigmaessays.com/plagiarism-checker

What exactly is a Story Essay?

The primary objective of a story essay will be to show your reader about happenings, interaction, and expertise that may have taken place with the article writer while in the certain stretch of time. It continually provides a dramatic plan. Quite the opposite, the descriptive essay is created for supplying a photograph of an individual, the place, some working experience or even an subject while not showing a sequence of functions. The plan is missing or hazy.

To create a stunning story essay immediately, allow us to bring in the most powerful stage-by-action series:

1. Getting ready

Well before your resourceful practice basically begins, make sure you study a little more in regards to the common demands built into such a the cardstock, pick the matter, and get some applicable information and facts to utilize it as being the resource. ?

Points to Come Up With?

Your probable subject must be intriguing for you and the customers. The main topic of the story essay generally means the article author?s adventure and there is absolutely no want to use any details externally solutions. Moreover, you will find 3 signs and symptoms of a good label within your essay be it story or anything otherwise:

You could possibly hardly look at it on the internet;

It?s very filter than huge;

It really encourages looking through the 1st phrase with the pieces of paper.

What the heck is Needed of Me?

Questioning to create an extremely unique variety of school papers, instructors wear?t need for their trainees that you follow rigorous policies regarding other publishing responsibilities simply hand them over a straightforward system. The theory is not difficult: you are taking a narrative from the the real world and dwell on quite possibly the most vivid issues when it comes to activities are unfolding. The story?s materials really should be coherent and present a selected ambiance.

Wherever to locate Research?

You could drive them from a very own stories because you started out publishing it. Ignore the tiring online-researching and allow your remembrances dump on a pieces of paper.

2. Publishing Practice

Certainly, this level is regarded as the time-drinking. It could be significantly less for those who look at the right after:

Generating a Composition and Detailing

Split your plan into a couple of areas: a startup, the most crucial component and also a climax, in addition to a interesting in conclusion. From the release, you ought to catch a website reader and also make them study your entire essay. Spend the most important factors in the essay and identify every one of them temporarily in your system and finish up your account by having an unstable angle along with a beautiful impact lines. In the switch, detailing can help you locate the best info on the revealed problems within the story essay.

Delivering Information and facts in 1st-Human being

The story is really personalized, and that means you ought to underline the importance of the continuing situations to your personal identity. This is why it will be present with use ?I? claims with no shifting a mindset in support of somebody else. ?

Detailing the Personas and Regions

Although it?s not really a descriptive essay, make an attempt to stylize your narrative with vibrant information on important items stated inside the plan. ?Specially, that should go for individuals that impacted the actual end result with the total event; their individuality must be revealed as complete as it can be.

Talk about sites in the role of a spot of where by an motion is performed as it demonstrates the picture’s atmosphere. History which will customize the reader’s frame of mind to figures or simply into the concept of your plan must be also supplied.

Including somewhat Spruce

Thats a story without any liveliness! Decrease your soft passages which has a aspect that should move all the things all over. It really is antagonist personality who seems to be eagerly upsetting your uses, an unforeseen style and uncomfortable concluding or crazy humor and coincidences to kick your market out chuckling.

3. Modifying

Immediately after developing the earliest write, change it meticulously. You are going to most certainly pick one up, two or perhaps a very few harsh destinations when seeking via your essay. You should didn?t pass up any essential elements.

Suggestions for the flourishing enhancing:

Don’t start off to look for errors immediately after finish the essay. Take a relaxation and merely then have a healthy view it;

Convert substantial and sophisticated phrases into very simple styles so they are interesting;

Steer clear of usage of relation to numerous definitions;

Obtain all repeats of tips or disagreements and remove them;

Confirm all citations and formatting on the whole which has a handbook;

Paraphrase where by it can be not easy to knowledge the feeling;

Reconsider the dwelling of your essay.

4. Proofreading

All students consider that subtitles 3 and 4 in this particular guidebook are identical stuff. Yet it is definitely not so: when enhancing is focused on article content, fashion, and section system, proofreading is conducted to identify misspellings and sentence structure blunders. Also, it will be the finalized step with the publishing.

What Must I Do With This Procedure?

Examine sentence structure your own self or apply certain software programs like Grammarly.com and other solutions from Infographics beneath, but usually do not count on them seriously;

Take away increase space;

Change misspellings with right terms.

It will likely be more beneficial in case you trust another individual to reread your element: your pals, mother and father or university buddies. Some may observe errors you forgotten and promote their typical viewpoint within the essay. ?

Obviously, the story essay will not be tricky in any respect. It is just about the most relaxing varieties of composing duties as a result of superb participation of your respective temperament during the paper’s system. Perhaps the regulations and demand can’t enable you to get all the way down ? they may be nearly missing or are so simple as a cake if professor mentions a shape. Start up your creative thinking and commence writing a remarkable item implementing our tips.

There are actually various kinds of essay articles, but story posting is much more exciting. In contrast to other formats, story composing specializes in writer’s working experience. Quite often, this is a solo scenario with more than one scenarios, figures, timeline along with the dialogues within it. The essay conveys writer’s emotions, inner thoughts and ideas in this circumstance. Allow us to take a look at a lot of the crucial elements which makes your story essay, appealing to read through and have an understanding of.

Great tips on Story Essay Composing

1. Kind of creating

Attempt to commence the essay together with the circumstance in the history. Mainly, as well as time of waking time, time, spot and mood may help your reader to pertain to your situation. You possibly can produce the very first collection of the essay as ? ?At a sunlit morning, there had been a great deal of site traffic; I had been fatigued, around my institution, for example.? You may as well use 1st man or next individual viewpoint. Nonetheless, you want to keep 3rd man perspective as a smaller amount as you can.

2. Keep it simplistic

Frequently, college students attempt to create difficult key phrases or documents inside their essay. For anybody who is more comfortable with the terminology, there is no requirement to locate a several expression. It can be your sensing, helping to make your essay stand out. Your reader is keen on your history compared to phrases you utilize. So keep it simplistic.

3. Construct the narration

You should not bounce to history without having outlining the specific situation. The outcome produces a graphic in reader’s brain. So be sure you create the story. A modest amount of qualifications with the scenario may help. The essay really should demonstrate narration making, primary storyline and also the realization.

4. Information of figures and storyline

Without the right particulars on the type, you can not make the storyline. You will need to put many of the figures as part of your history and reveal each small bit of benefits. Consequently, your reader will connect with your account.

5. Usually do not exaggerate

It is crucial that you narrate the story plot since it taken place. Be as near as you possibly can using the info. Fail to create new perspectives to demonstrate on your own pretty much as good or display other individuals as awful. Should the predicament necessitates exaggeration, then its really good to exaggerate. All students desire to positive reviews their selves as well as to establish on their own pretty much as good. This is simply not the proper method. In place of understanding, describe the outcome, as being the condition per se provides what you would like.

6. Very clear and good dialogues

All too often, it is sometimes complicated to spell out specific situations with no discussions. In the event you sense this type of situation, use dialogues to warrant the job. The conversation really should be apparent and good. You should definitely consist of accurate strengthen and topic. It is possible to contain color by using anything as rage, a grin in the facial skin, wicked look, worn-out, etcetera.

7. Make clear the decisions thru dazzling verbs

Tend not to combination up verbs to make a problem. In place of give attention to physique terminology, movements, and tendencies of personalities, which describes the measures. Signify every one of them by way of adequate verb shape to boost the results. Identifying the concentration of operate can help the followers to evaluate the problem.

Bottom line

Generating a guide in your head on the account is a breeze but producing it at a papers is hard. That is certainly why you should give attention to all of the things previously mentioned to create a fantastic story essay on any predicament in your life. It truly is your history, so be sure you implement it the right way.

The most effective CSS cleaning application lets you set up your thing documents.

Story essays are widely-used to convey to accounts. The submissions are typically about individual activities and may possess a crystal clear stage captivating the viewers. Whilst it is achievable to show an intricate notion with only a single even now impression, story essays also can explain to an excellent account, providing your viewers a vibrant visualize on the subject. In an effort to create the ideal story, reproduce on which you realize finest. When shopping for things to compose on, stick with just what you are satisfied with and matter concerns that you will be aware of. Issues that will be relate with your encounter will permit you to compose a prodding narrative that could be more pleasant.

The Accessories of Producing an incredible Story Essay

Normally, essays are low-inventive articles despite the fact that a story essay is really an consideration of activities which can be generally attracted from an publisher?s lifetime. A big difference from a private as well as a story essay is the fact that a personalized essay echos on critical details and more deeply details despite the fact that a story essay remains to be authentic and distinct from getting unbelievably special.

Story essays help a number of uses, and those who happen to be best show about three important personality characteristics which can be:

Helping to make a crucial place.

Have specific particulars in service from the position.

Are certainly sorted at some point.

When creating a story, it needs to have a pressing elegance. The story may very well be funny or even just really serious, but it must be authored in a fashion that lets your market to get in touch with the history. Probably your customers possessed a the same knowledge about the triumph or problems that you simply came across.

Subject Tips on Story Essay Creating ?

A narration explains a series of activities. This delivers the concern which occurrence is it advisable to discuss? Anytime a story essay is completed, it appears an easy task to produce but searching out the area to compose on would be the toughest portion.

What you are interested in is definitely a specific occasion you could recount within the essay that may be very well engineered and planned. Here are a couple tips on good information to jot down on.

The Very First Day You Visited Institution or even the Most Enjoyable Working day You Possessed in education

An Industry Excursion your Course Has Previously Applied

The Perfect Summer time Vacation trips

A Single Day You First Of All Received a family pet

Your Preferred Birthday party or simply a Special birthday which was Unsatisfying

The Time the energy Moved Out

An Accident You Have

An Arbitrary Respond of Goodness

An item that Was Upsetting that Previously Came about for your needs

An Exciting Memorial service or perhaps Wedding party

A Period Of Time You Decided to go Alongside Your Folks? Hopes

After You Have Terrified caused by a Major Hurricane

An Unusual Confront using a Total stranger Who Ended up being Your Good friend

A Situation that Caused the Failing of any Relationship

A Popular or perhaps Wonderful Exposure to a relative

There a great number of information to post on on the subject of story essays, however count on the ordeals you could have received. The essay is principally relating to your private knowledge, and this must have apparent tips that get involved readers.

The post One Step-by-Factor Help guide Jot down an experienced Story Essay appeared first on Guest Blogging Platform for Jewelry & Fashion.

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professionalwritingservice-blog2 · 7 years

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06 28 Common Letter Writing Mistakes

'If youve incessantly seen a smashing deal of earns s oddment in reply to a fatality ad, you bed they finish be hysteric eachy funny. A haphazard sampling normally demonstrates every slue in the hand ( analogous(p) sending the garner to the wrong company). present atomic number 18 28 common errors to forfend:\n1. Addressing garner, respectable Sir: or skillful Sirs: As you know, many readers instantly are women. If sex is unclear, the salutation should be roundthing interchangeable dear Hiring Manager, or Dear Human Resources Manager. \n \n2. Addressing garner, To whom it whitethorn concern. get a line let out who will meet the correspondence, and address it ainly. We reliable a letter addressed to Dear Whomever, to which matchless advisor replied, Ill answer to anything yet this! \n \n3. Enclosing a movie. Skip the photo unless youre a mildew or an aim actor. \n \n4. bridge player or typing all over an experienced soak up or letterhead . If youve moved, skip over over. Changes on old documents arent acceptable. \n \n5. No signature. flush if you ca occasion your lift at the end of correspondence, you should sign the rogue in your accept hand physical composition to score it a personal touch. \n \n6. Spelling errors. unity applicant utter he was wellhead suited for writting and change chores... contac t (sic) me at the adrwss (sic) below. Would you give him your edit work? an another(prenominal)(prenominal) writer give tongue to she would enjoy consultation assortment (sic) us. al-Quran processing turn checkers patch up mistakes; so confirmation everything. \n \n7. not checking grammar. champion person wrote, It sounds kindle and give me (sic) the chance to character my skills. take care your letter for mend sentence structure. book friends review them too. \n \n8. Handwriting earn. Brief 30- battle cry convey you notes can be handwritten, if legible. All other correspondence sh ould be typewritten or word processed, even if you experience to borrow a word central processor or buy off a secretarial service. Handwritten garner dont put business. \n \n9. development a Post-It injury Note as a letter. Post-It® Notes arent garner. victimisation mavin severalises, This isnt important. I was too occupy to write a real letter. \n \n10. development the word I too much. some letters are forgathered with 20 or 30 Is. Make sure enough yours arent. Advertising is most you. Empha coat you quite a than I. \n \n11. FAXing letters unexpectedly. \n \n12. Forgetting to acknowledge your promise number. unrivalled woman wrote, delight call me at home, but didnt overwhelm a phone number. That looked prominent. \n \n13. Cluttered setting publishing. With the advent of PCs, some job seekers olfactory sensation the urge to be fictive using various type sizes and fonts. Avoid this in business correspondence. except in elevated cases, busines s letters should look conservative. If you regard to be creative, do so in your choice of words. salvage Microsoft Publisher and Photoshop for your Christmas cards. \n \n14. apply a placement mathematical function lash as an address. withdraw in obsolescent cases, such as conducting a mystical job search, use a lane address. Post office boxes seem transient. \n \n15. chip phrasing, such as an hazard to dissipate my strengths and delete my weaknesses... Or, You may feel that Im a tad overqualified. Or, enwrap herewith gratify find my resume. Do you talk that behavior? You should write the bearing you talk. Avoid bad phrasing by having others critique your letters. \n \n16. Typos, wishing thankyou for your assistance. \n \n17. Mailing form letters. Some letters contain fill in the blanks. generic wine forms dont work well. \n \n18. Not saying enough. unity want ad letter read, gratify accept my envelop resume for the slur of Executive Director. give thanks you. Thats too nearsighted. A letter is an opportunity to sell. So say something to the highest degree yourself. \n \n19. conclusion with Thank you for your consideration. EVERYONE ends their letters this way, so transport dont. Try something different, like Im excited about talking further, or I know I could do a redeeming(prenominal) job for you. The same goes for Sincerely, and Sincerely yours. EVERYONE uses them. Find something different like Good wishes, With trounce regards, or With great enthusiasm.\n \n20. WRITING IN ALL CAPS. ITS tricky TO READ. DONT DO IT. \n \n21. Abbreviating Cir., Ave., Dec., and all other words. event time to captivation words out. It looks so much better. \n \n22. Forgetting to infix your resume. If you say youre enclosing one, then do.\n \n23. Justifying responsibility margins. When you justify right, you cook large gaps surrounded by words at heart your sentences. \n \n24. Forgetting the date and/or salutation. \n \ n25. Using fading printer cartridges. Whenever possible, use a optical maser printer, even if you beget to borrow oneand Kinkos is a expert 24/7 alternative.\n \n26. Talking nonsense. I work in instilling good conduits for mainstream educational connections composition also boost individual creative forms. What? Run that one by me again. \n \n27. Forgetting to station the letter in the envelope. (I received an muster out FedEx package yesterday.) \n \n28. The 300-word paragraph. The slash mistake in marketing is writing too long. restrain sentences to seven or eight words, and correct paragraphs to four or five lines. In letter writing, short is usually better. I try to doctor my own letters to one page, seldom two. I call back if I cant say it well in one page, I probably cant say it well at all. \n \n29. Bonus stage from Laurie Schell. In an email to me she said, I image you may want to add a number 29. As a film director my boyfriend reads a lot of tip l etters and complains when he receives them with really miniscule font. Even a regular size font is intemperately to read if he has forgotten his furnish that day, and so small-font letters are immediately dismissed.\n'

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brigettelaforest-blog · 7 years

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Getting This Point Will Create Me Satisfied

Actually, the concern you should be actually asking yourself is this one: what's right with you? At that point they informed me that they need to direct an incantation on him that are going to make him come back to me and also the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me as well as he told me that i should forgive him, he began to apologize on phone and pointed out that he still live me that he did not know just what occur to him that he left me. that was the incantation that he traditionalspellhospital casted on him that create him comeback to me today, me and also my household are actually right now delighted again today. If you adore constructing traits, you can choose getting and also create a great residing doing just what you adore. Given that this will lead you to repeat the exact same oversights as lots of various other guys generally produce, do not attempt to carry out points in the dark. All satisfied published on this internet site is the accountability from the event publishing such material. While there are undoubtedly points that happen in your life that create you experience either pleased or even unhappy, the fact is actually that these encounters come and also they go. The much better furnished you become at managing the activities that create you emphasize the less impact this will certainly have on your health and wellness as well as joy and happiness. Everything that our team are for ... passion, leave, peace, concern, joy, empowers our team, and every thing that our experts protest ... hate, anger, question, anxiety, compromises our company. Now choose: HAPPY or UNHAPPY. Over my lifestyle, 53, I met folks which were extremely wealthy, however they were no so happy as my Associates, Engineers, Employees as well as Business Allies, that made their effectiveness and happiness gradually as well as improving slowly. You could take advantage of personalized stationery as invitations to a meet enjoy this, or even to a yard sales or party. In reality, these jobs usually create individuals awful (unless your center is in what you carry out). Always remember: everybody needs 12 hugs a time, so make sure to give them all the caress they need to have for an excellent sensation every day just before going to bed. I recognized specifically just what it needed to create me capable to throw up, which was making myself therefore full to the point where I felt likeI was going to regurgitate anyhow. Guy won't believe you're self-seeking if you perform it in a way that praises their wish to earn you happy. Although, it might feel unusual for some time, but once you perform it, this does not make you believe therefore. If you wish to make your fanatic think essential, then this expression would be actually the appropriate one. For additional friendly relationship quotes, look into the well-liked friendly relationship quotes area from, a web site that provides services for 'Top 10' lists of estimates in dozens from groups. A study accomplished by Gardeners World Magazine reported that 80% from those who gardened experienced delighted as well as pleased with their lifestyles as compared to 67% of those that performed certainly not garden. Publications along with spins, delighted ends, tragedies and also sometimes with no finishing whatsoever. If you have any concerns pertaining to in which and how to use yellow pages online qld (click this over here now), you can contact us at the webpage. Thus this cause bingeing, which made me pleased once more like I was drawing the wool over everybody's eyes due to the fact that I might eat all the awful meals" that I liked without in fact must digest them. Having said that, along with the improvement of technology, it is actually right now less complicated in comparison to before to create popular music all on your own. Spanish key phrases are filled with sexy key phrases yet this set is actually straightforward as well as extremely lively. Photo a child who is actually merely delighted to become (when they are actually not sobbing, that is actually!) Make an effort switching your concentration to being, and think about a person or even one thing that you like. I do not mind when our chats acquire a little mundane & our company run out of points to mention, only having you suffices to earn me satisfied. For more l ove quotes, check out the popular, an internet site that specializes in 'Top 10' listings from estimates in loads of groups. Our team will certainly change your cars and truck along with a brand-new among the exact same make style and requirements if your automobile is wrecked past cost-effective repair work or taken and also not recovered and also you acquired your car off brand new within recent One Year. This will certainly quicken traits up if you stop trying to acquire him back and create him believe you do not want him any longer. If you are like me, your intelligence knows that product points do not make you satisfied. She truly understandinged of me as well as had me to a near restaurant close to our functioning place and also explain her personal passion issues along with me and also how she acquired an incantation wheel that carried her male, her goals as well as need back to her as well as create him like her like never in the past. This takes a bunch of interest as well as passion in the lives of a person to create certain that the couple is compatible along with one another. Thats the concern folks grew up having fairly quick and easy lifestyles in a first globe country have no idea what genuine challenges are. and after that fuss they aren't happy its comical and also depressing that thats just what this world has pertained to. A job monitoring qualification will definitely let companies recognize that you adore your willpower and that you've accomplished the training important making you a valuable as well as experienced specialist. Nonetheless If our team began with a placement of certainly not moring than happy as well as not having any assurance in ourselves or our potentials after that this rise in loan will definitely not switch factors about and make us delighted. Loneliness in some cases performs certainly not make an individual any longer the unhappier, this occasionally provides you room to think making ideas from excellents, getting to know onesself much better, in several - methods! Some of the most ideal areas in order to get ideas for an 80th birthday party is off the guest of honor, themself. Compose a trivia exam for your visitors, making use of little known truths or activities from the special day guy or lady's lifestyle. That may be your concern, you are trying to produce him come back instead of creating him would like to go back. Amusement really is the best medication as well as to become a happy person you need to laugh. There are still a considerable amount of points to worry about, as well as considerable amounts of choices to make as each selection will certainly establish exactly how your CDs will market. Send invites to a celebration; celebrate your nation and also more along with customized stationery produced the occasion. The key here is actually to end up being familiar with that space and after that choose the response that will certainly ensure you are in command of your activities and feelings. Given that from my posture and certainly not be actually reliant after my situations, I might be happy. Ask your youngsters, What can I do to make you experience loved?" You'll be actually startled to hear exactly what little ones desire.

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