#so i guess i enjoy them both equally for different reasons...

[todayisafridaynight]

‘Casting’ mine as hijikata really was perf cause similar to the actual hijikata i for sure thought he’d turn out to be a crazy dickwad but no he’s just genuinely pretty chill. Ignore the murders he’s MOSTLY pretty chill

[idliketobeatree]

having a lot of messy catwin thoughts, may i?

the tale of edwin and the cat king is cautionary, but it's a hopeful one and i'll die on this hill. i would narrow it down to a simple "play with your food for too long and it'll bite you",

and also, "there's a difference between freedom of body and emancipation of soul, but both come from a place of confinement."

it works in both ways. like all spells, flexibility comes with a price to pay. the cat king discovers first-hand that too much pleasure can kill you; by letting himself enjoy edwin's presence, he grows a sense of affection he was not prepared for when giving out the task.

what's more interesting, he never even planned to win by making edwin stay in port townsend. the cat king essentialy sets himself up for failure by giving a brilliant and meticulous boy– a goddamn detective– a riddle which he can easily solve. it takes edwin what, a few days to get close to the exact number?

of course, he expected that. eventually.

what he's really willing to bet on is the time spent with edwin, hoping he'll warm up to him by sheer proximity. the amount of stolen moments depended on his luck, if the boy turned out to be extra clever, maybe he'd have two or three days. maybe a week or more. from his experience, perhaps enough to break the uptight tease's composure.

but typically it ricochets, because he's the one getting hopelessly and romantically attached by the end.

with the events unfolding, the cat king gets progressively more trapped within the bounds he set himself. some of them he can't escape and it's fine, like his kingdom, an enclosure as much as a reluctant playground.

(credits to the king, making sure they are on equal grouds for this game at least— with the caging bracelet, edwin also cannot escape.)

the point is, it's been a power exchange since the beginning, and with the exception for the very first meeting, each little rendezvous ends with edwin reaffirming his agency.

edwin's body is physically unmovable from the town's area, but his mind's eye toys with the budding attraction for the cat king almost out of his control. so you have a ghost who can hop to anywhere in the world– who's brilliant brain expands to the edges of human reasoning, ever evolving, never stilling– who has a best friend at his side, and he's still so. terribly. lonely.

and you have a trickster who's rightful place comes with the job title– who can get anything he wants and be whoever he needs– who after three or four regenerations and probably hundreds of years still hasn't learned how to let people in without bleeding out in the process.

and look: that's the point. they have to hurt each other. it purifies them. the confusion, the baring of teeth and cheeks, the knowing naked looks. they need each other like dark soil needs essential nutrients.

edwin experiences an epiphany: apparently, being cornered can lead to a greater understanding of yourself. and also, desires have a mind of their own? who'd have guessed? they're capable of manifesting through his ghostly body and only by facing them upfront— by having a facsimile of a honest conversation with the cat king— edwin can make peace with what he wants, and who he is. for edwin, the trickster represents forbidden and not easily accessible freedom of a physical body, with all its needs and peculiarities.

but for the cat king, oh my. edwin represents the true freedom of soul.

i mean, look at what hell dragged in. took a little over a week for this white lily to bloom, confident and devastating in its beauty, when it should be charred black or wilting.

but you like his secret parts, don't you? are you even aware of yours? if he asks, will you let him dig in?

[justnatoka]

Letting go

Poly! Lost Boys x GN! Reader

A/n: I'll be honest. With angst, I'm always afraid that it somehow turns out more melodramatic than serious. So writing this was a bit of a rollercoaster. It has been sitting in my drafts for a while, and every time I came back to it, I was feeling different about it. At first I liked it, then not so much, then even less, at some point having no idea if it will even turn into something that makes sense. In the end, somehow it still turned into a fic I actually like. That's just what the writing process is all about I guess.

Word count: 3k

Warning: angst, bittersweet (hopeful?) ending

Prompt: “I’ll survive. Somehow I always do.”

Summary: The sudden appearance of a threat from your past forces you to make a hard decision.

Part 1/2

Next part

It was by pure chance that you caught his scent. He probably thought that the crowds and myriad smells of the boardwalk – the buttery aroma of popcorn, the sweetness of cotton candy, the salty ocean air and the sourness of human sweat – would mask his natural odor. And with good reason. It was the slightest change in wind direction that alerted you to his presence, a lucky coincidence that he couldn’t have anticipated. Had it not been for that, you probably wouldn’t have noticed him at all, not before it was too late. And there were too many instances of it almost being too late. He was a pro after all, he had surprised you before, and each time someone else paid the price. You wouldn’t let that happen this time.

“We need to leave.”

The casual chatter immediately died down around you, four pairs of eyes searching your face curiously. All they could find was grave seriousness with a hint of panic as you anxiously searched the crowd, looking for even just a glimpse of that familiar and dreaded figure.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart? Are you alright?” Dwayne’s gentle voice brought your attention back to them, their faces full of concern now as they noticed your quick and shallow breathing and shaking hands.

“No, I’m not. We need to go back to the cave. Right now.” Punctuating the last two words, you wasted no time, and headed for the bikes, quickly hopping onto David’s. Your urgent tone did the job as the boys followed close behind. David got on in front of you, your arms quickly wrapping themselves around him, seeking comfort and stability. But you knew you were rapidly losing both.

“We’ll talk about this when we get back.” His tone equaled yours in seriousness, and you felt your skin crawl with the uncomfortable anticipation of what was to come. But that was a matter for later, right now you just wanted to get as far away from here as possible. You couldn’t leave the boardwalk fast enough.

The ride back was tense. No cheers, no laughter this time, no enjoying the speed. They knew something was very wrong, your fear making them unnerved as well. You were stiff as a board behind David, always anticipating something to happen, your head whipping around in a blind search for some unseen danger. On one hand, you couldn’t wait to reach the safety of the cave, your home that you shared with your lovers for almost a decade. It has been so long. You genuinely thought you were finally safe, that you didn’t have to run anymore. And even though you wanted to get back as quickly as you could, the ride home also couldn’t be long enough. Because you knew what you had to do when you arrived. You tried to get yourself ready mentally, but felt like your world was falling apart around you too quickly. Before you knew it, you were slowing down.

After parking the bikes, you made your way down to the cave. Going at the front, you could feel their eyes on your back, you could feel the tension radiating off of David, the anxious energy coming from Paul.

As soon as your feet hit the cave floor, you headed for your nest, the place you shared with your boys. You tried not to think too much about how you have to rip yourself out of that intimate little safe haven as you started packing your stuff together.

“Whoa, whoa, slow down, sugar!” Marko’s sound of alarm alerted the others, and the next second a hand grabbed your arm, stopping your movements.

“What do you think you’re doing?” David’s eyes were swimming in emotions as you turned to look into them, confusion chased by a protective urge to eliminate the threat that had you so freaked out. And behind it all, even though he tried to hide it, you could see fear. He was scared that whatever was happening, it would change everything.

“Please let me go.” Your voice shook as you struggled to keep your composure. You didn’t want to break down, not if you really planned to go through with this.

“…are you leaving us? You’re not, right? Right?” There was hesitation in Paul’s voice and silent hoping on his face as he tried to cling to the smallest of chances that they were interpreting the situation wrong. But the moment you met his eyes, he saw the answer in them clear as day, and his expression crumbled, beautiful blue eyes already filling with tears as reality started to register to him. You knew then that your composure was out the window. Your lower lip began to tremble and you averted your gaze, not being able to look at him anymore.

“Why?” Marko’s fists were shaking as he spoke, not knowing what to do with the anger that was slowly boiling up inside him. He was angry at you, but more so at the nameless, faceless entity that caused your distress, forcing your hand to make this decision in the first place. In the back of his mind however, a small and ugly voice reared its head. His voice was a low rumble, thick with emotion as he asked, “Why are you doing this? You don’t love us anymore?”

You couldn’t hold yourself back. You dropped your bag on the floor and rushed over to him, enveloping him in a hug and cradling his head, burying your face in his neck as he desperately clung to you.

“Of course I still love you. I love all of you so much. Don’t you ever doubt that. That’s why I don’t have a choice.” Tears were stinging your eyes, but your voice was strong as you tried to reassure him with all your power, even though you knew you were breaking his heart. Even if it was the last thing you did for them, you had to make sure he understood how much they meant to you.

A hand landed on your shoulder, Dwayne’s voice resonating in your ear. “Please, talk to us. What’s wrong?”

You entangled yourself from Marko, but he was gripping your hand tightly as you turned around, fearing that you would disappear if he let go. You looked up at Dwayne, his eyes pleading with you to explain. He wanted to know the problem, so he can help you solve it, like he always did. Your gaze found Paul, then David, all of them waiting for an explanation. You knew you owed them that much.

Letting out a shaky breath, you began to talk. “There’s a hunter after me.” The declaration made all of them tense up. “He’s been following me for decades, chasing me all across the country. After coming to Santa Carla, I’ve been on edge for months, waiting for him to show up, but he never did.” You breathed out a pathetic little laugh. ”Then I met you guys, and I finally let myself feel at ease. I really thought I managed to lose him this time. That’s why I freaked out when I caught his scent at the boardwalk earlier.” Your voice strengthened with newfound resolve, steeling yourself for what you have to do. ”I can’t stay here anymore. I can’t let you all get caught up in this mess.”

David was listening to you in silence, his face growing more serious with each word. You could feel him slowly closing in on himself.

“But we could help you. There’s five of us and just one of him. With all of us together we can kill the bastard,” Marko argued, ready to go and jump into battle at you’re slightest sign of approval. Paul was nodding vehemently in agreement.

“I’ve heard that before and it never ended well.”

“You don’t even want to try? Are you willing to just throw this away so easily?” Marko was getting agitated, basically yelling at this point.

“Don’t you understand? I can’t afford to try! You don’t think I had tried to fight before? Of course I did!” Your voice was also rising in volume, desperation filling your lungs. “I fought so hard, tried to save every other vampire who gave me shelter before. The only reason they got exposed was because I was there. If I wasn’t, they wouldn’t have gotten caught up in this, and then maybe they wouldn’t have-“

A sob escaped your throat, unable to finish the sentence. You felt two strong arms wrap themselves around you as you started to shake, guiding you to the couch before all strength left your legs. You curled in on yourself as you cried against Dwayne’s chest. Gentle hands were rubbing your shoulders, wiping the tears from your face, running through your hair in soothing caresses, and through the haze of your grief and overwhelming guilt you faintly registered Paul and Marko’ presence next to you.

“I can’t lose you too, I couldn’t live with myself,” you cried in their embrace, their tender attention only making the ache in your chest ten times worse. They were so good to you, even though you were causing them so much pain.

They sat with you, whispering words of reassurance, all the while battling with their own thoughts. They didn’t want to accept this outcome where you had to leave them, even if you did it to protect them. Your presence took up too much of their lives and their hearts to just let this go.

After your sobs quietened to sniffles and shaky breaths, David finally spoke up.

“We can’t change your mind, can we?” He sounded resigned. He already knew there was no turning back to the way things were, even if the others still tried to fight it.

“You can’t be serious!” Marko turned to him vehemently.

“Marko, stand down,” David barked, the frustration evident in his voice. “Our love has clearly made a decision. We can’t force them to stay if they want to leave so bad.”

Even though this was exactly what you wanted, you couldn’t help but flinch a bit at the edge in his voice. So this was it, you thought, he was shutting you out, closing his walls around himself. You tried to ignore the little sting you felt somewhere deep inside you when he didn’t even look at you as he said it.

Marko looked lost as he turned from David to Dwayne to you, searching for any small reason he can still cling to, but found none. And he finally deflated when Dwayne added, “It’s what’s best for them.”

The silence that followed felt heavy with grief and heartbreak, and although you knew it was the best thing you could do, you couldn’t stop the constant fall of tears silently rolling down your cheeks. You heard Paul sniffle behind you where he was resting his forehead against your shoulder, breathing in your scent for as long as he could. Marko was holding onto your hand again, his thumb rubbing your knuckles in a soothing motion. You weren’t sure if it was meant for you or for himself. Dwayne pressed a kiss against the crown of your head where it was still buried in his chest. You all needed a few moments to take in each other’s presence and just exist, allowing yourselves a fleeting semblance of peace before it all fell apart.

“However.” Your gaze wandered back to David, and the look in his eyes struck something deep within you. “We let you go on one condition,” he held up a finger, and you stiffened, sitting up straighter. “You have to promise to come back.”

There was no hesitation in his voice as he said it, his gaze holding onto yours the whole time. You felt the need to blink a few times.

“I can’t promise that,” you looked at him confused. “As long as he lives I can’t come back here. I can’t risk that.”

“Promise that you will come back,” he continued, unwavering. “Do what you have to do, find a way to kill him, then come back to us.”

The way his eyes softened at that last part made your stomach flip. At the small tug on your finger you turned to Marko, his gaze full of emotion.

“Promise?”

“I can’t,” you answered, your voice nothing more than a hoarse whisper. “There’s no guarantee I would even come back. I can’t make you wait for me for eternity in the hopes that nothing bad happened to me.”

“You won’t make us do anything,” Dwayne took over, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “You made a choice to leave, so we made a choice to wait for your return.”

You were stunned. You tried to argue with him, but in the end you just closed your mouth. They were ready to let you go, even though you might never come back, even though it was breaking their own hearts. They loved you with all they had and were still willing to let you go so you could protect them. Not just that, they were willing to wait for you.

At that moment you realized you couldn’t run anymore. You can’t just leave, find a new place for a few years to hide then go on when he inevitably showed up again. You couldn’t let this go, couldn’t let them go. You had to fight him. You had to fight him and you had to kill him. It was the only way to come back to your boys, to live in peace without fear. Because even though the souls of the dead had been eating you from guilt, these boys were still alive. And as long as they are, they will be ready to welcome you back with open arms.

You pulled together the crumbs of your hope and determination, and decided to try once again, just one last time. You nodded slowly, the whispered “I promise” hung heavy in the silence of the cave.

It didn’t take long to pack your belongings. You didn’t have much, and what you did have was mostly stuff they gifted to you: a stuffed bear Dwayne won you at a game stall on the boardwalk, a bracelet Marko stole for you off of a tourist’s wrist after you commented on how much you liked it, a mixtape made by Paul of both of your favourite artists, a necklace David gave you when you joined the pack. Your bag was filled with trinkets and memories of your shared life. It gave you something to cling onto even though the future was full of uncertainty.

You desperately wanted more time, just one more day to spend with them, but you knew you needed to move fast. The hunter was already in Santa Carla, he probably already knew you were here. You didn’t dare risk him finding out about the boys too.

They accompanied you to the mouth of the cave. Looking out over the ocean, you took a big gulp of the fresh air and let it out in a shaky breath. You didn’t dare think about how you will accomplish what you had to do, the reality of that weighing heavy in the back of your mind.

Turning around, you let your eyes wander over you lovers once more, knowing that it might be the last time you ever see them. David looked back at you with a serious, determined expression, and you decided to ignore how the shadows seemed deeper on his face than you’ve ever seen before. He knew he had to be strong right now for all of you, and you were forever grateful for it. If he had shown even an ounce of doubt, you were sure you would have crumbled, giving access to the fear gnawing at your mind.

You stepped up to him first to say goodbye. His gloved hand came to rest against your cheek, and you leaned into his touch.

“When you’re done-“

“If.”

“When you’re done,” David continued undeterred, “with what you have to do, we’ll be right here, waiting for your return.”

Tears stung your eyes, but all you felt was overwhelming love for him.

“I will come back,” you whispered against his lips as you leaned in for one last kiss.

Next was Dwayne, eyes full of sorrow. You cradled his face in your hands, pulling him down, so you can press a kiss to the frown between his brows. He let out a deep sigh as you did, and you rested your forehead against his, both of you drinking in each other’s presence before you inevitably had to pull away.

Paul, always smiling, always laughing Paul was quiet. You gently ran your fingers through the messy hair on the side of his head, prompting him to look up at you. The second your eyes met, his lip began to tremble, and you leaned in to pepper soft kisses against it. His hands fisted your jacket as he pulled you closer, his mouth desperate against yours. Your heart broke a little when you pulled back, pressing one last peck on his cheek.

Lastly, you turned to Marko, who was so ready to jump into a fight for you head first, and now looked like he had no idea what to do. Before you could make a move, he threw himself at you, squeezing you against him with all his might. You hugged him back, burying your face into his shoulder, and you felt him do the same, inhaling your scent, committing it to his memory. You ignored the slight shake of his hands when he eventually let you go, instead pressing a gentle kiss against his forehead.

“What are you going to do? All alone against him,” he asked, needing some kind of reassurance that you will be alright.

You looked back at him with sad eyes.

“I’ll survive. Somehow, I always do.” It was all you could answer. But for the first time in a long while, the thought didn’t fill you with dread. Instead, something akin to hope was starting to sprout in the back of your mind. It was still a dainty little thing, but you were determined to let it blossom.

Still, as you stepped out into the night, you felt your heart break a little.

Tags: @stinkydove @pandemoniavenus @000-colby @lunarwhitewolf7 @notalwaysa @binightowl @darlingnikkisixxxx @skrimblo-blumpkgo @swagfancroissantpizza2

Leave a comment on this post if you want to be added to my taglist!

[olderthannetfic]

I feel like Homestuck is an interesting case study when it comes to comparing numbers of M/M vs. F/F fanworks. Because the gender ratios of Homestuck's protagonists are scrupulously balanced -- all of the protagonist groups have exactly equal numbers of male and female characters.

However, just because the genders are balanced in theory, that doesn't necessarily correspond to the characters' prominence in the narrative. Dave and Karkat (both boys) have the most lines of any characters in the comic… and guess what, Davekat is the most popular ship! Meanwhile, the two original female leads (Rose and Jade) barely have any conversations with each other over the entire comic, and both of them have significantly fewer lines than the two original male leads (Dave and John, who do interact with each other a lot and are the third most popular ship on AO3).

There are places where (Tumblr and AO3) fandom's preference for male characters becomes obvious, though. The trolls (a secondary protagonist group) are technically gender-balanced, but the ones who end up becoming most important to the narrative are mostly girls. And yet Eridan/Sollux (a ship featuring two minor male trolls) is almost twice as popular on AO3 as Vriska/Terezi, two girls who are both very important characters and whose deliciously complicated relationship is frankly the core of Homestuck. And to be honest, I do truly believe that Vrisrezi would be way, WAY more popular if Vriska and Terezi were boys instead of girls.

But really… even if it's not "fair" that Erisol is more popular than Vrisrezi, there's no point in scolding people for their individual ship preferences. People like what they like, and if someone isn't interested in femslash, guilting them over it isn't gonna magically make them enjoy it.

Hell, I'm part of the "problem" myself in that I almost exclusively write M/M… because I'm a dude who's attracted to other dudes, and what I want to do with my free time is write about hot men being complicatedly in love with each other. Sorry to the girls; they're all very interesting but I'm just not horny for them. Them's the breaks.

--

Yeah. I'm certainly not denying that AO3 has a trend towards male characters overall... it's just that it's not meaningful in the way people think it is. AO3 was built by a bunch of slashers, so there's that. But the really significant thing is that there are spaces that are mostly horny fan art about girls and we don't go "Gosh, why is there no dude stuff here other than Link getting railed???"

There's only a mystery if we think there's a "normal" level of femslash that the specific demographic on AO3 would "naturally" be producing if we weren't sexist. This idea is based on... well, on nothing, usually, but if it's justified at all, people are like "Well, you're a woman and you like pussy, so you would naturally also like fanfic of two women." There are plenty of reasons why this is a stupid assumption, starting with the fact that fanfic is inherently about pre-existing material.

Honestly, when I encounter media with two female leads with a complicated relationship and I think both of them are super hot, I ship the hell out of it. That happens like once a decade. Thanks, casting directors. (I've never read Homestuck because the art makes my eyes bleed.)

The real question is how many different places Homestuck fans hang out and whether they all look the same. Tumblr and AO3 are both huge, but when people get on their high horse about too many people having the same taste in these spaces, I have to wonder if they have a problem with people of like tastes hanging out together full stop.

[moonsuke]

Episode Nagi 33

Lol this chapter has so much typical shonen rivalry composition like thank you knsr for the narusasu-reonagi?? 😭

I'll never stop finding it funny and ironic how reonagi makes a better “duo” when they’re separated, like they're literally more in sync and on the same page than when they’re together lol. Perhaps this is the true alone・together chapter (good ending ver) after all.

I'm like so hung up on how emotionless Nagi looks here, its borderline unnerving and scary (and kinda sad if you wanna dig deeper) BUT I LOVE IT. His mouth is so small its kinda cute? Scary, beautiful, cool and cute, that's my Nagi! We haven't seen him "scary" since first selection I kinda miss him. He's was such a menace and arguably the most hype and best written "final boss" to date.

And that's why he'll be back as one. Isagi's ultimate foil, let's go.

And I love that it’s nagi=sasuke and reo=naruto. I know reonagi and narusasu dynamics aren’t exactly similar, mostly because reonagi never really have that rivalry sun/moon yin/yang symbolism going on but when it comes to hot/cold, red/blue I guess they still fit? The second picture kinda have a yin-yang thing going on too. Nagi's aura is black but his heart and character is very pure, while Reo's aura is lighter but inside he has darker thoughts and feelings? That's just me trying to force a yin-yang parallel on them but I honestly don't think they fit that well, unless it’s foreshadowing for the future? 👀 I’ve seen people say it’s reflective of Nagi’s downfall etc but I would think it’s more like the cyclical nature of their progress lol. But I’m mostly of the stance it’s for hype visuals only, knsr seems to like doing that before shit hits the fan. Doesn’t really mean much.

I actually made a lot of mental comparisons between Sasuke and Nagi before, like to understand why are they my favs and why I see them the way I do in their shipping dynamics etc (I only ship them as bottoms) etc. And I’ve always thought reonagi’s kinda like a flipped shonen duo? Like usually Reo would be the typical shonen protag with his red hot fiery passion and energy while Nagi would play the cooler, calmer deuteragonist but for them, the calm one's the protag. It’s like if Sasuke's the protag instead of Naruto lol

I rmb knsr making another narusasu-reonagi comparison before with the kyuubi-susanoo fusion lookalike and I was so insulted then?? I don't even wanna include it here cause they were never narusasu??? Naruto and Sasuke were actually equal rivals but reonagi was toxic codependency with Reo giving up his ideal self (!!!) for Nagi's dream and becoming his passer?? That's the part I was most hung up on honestly (but some shippers like it for some reason, explains why they're also the ones who didn't expect Nagi's "death" even though its so obviously written in the text lmao).

Like you've no idea how glad I'm this current arc ended with Reo scoring and his ego awakening and lusting for goals again. I don't necessarily need him to be a full striker, I just need him to have that hunger for goals back again! And with the way its consistently brought up in both epinagi and bllk that his ideal self is to change in different ways to score goals, I'm confident that's the direction he's growing into. GOOD. I like Reo so much more when he has the “striker mentality”. It's nice to see his Chameleon developing too with him questioning "what is his colour".

Talented learner matches really are very different from Geniuses' ones lol. Ngl, personally I enjoy reading TL matches more. Seeing them actively thinking, predicting, observing and making plays, its more fun than hype moves to me (I'm so sorry this feels sinful to say as a Nagi fan 😭 I love you Nagi your hype moves are still the best and beat all other moments 😭)

-

My absolute favorite parts of this chapter though was all the nicknames Nagi's getting. Little baby? Silver fox-hair (ロマンスグレーボーイ)??? “Romance grey boy” is such a random nickname tho, I know it’s to call out his white hair but still 😭 Maybe Luna’s also half calling Nagi good looking???

And why does everyone Nagi meets keep treating him like a baby chick?? I mean it’s so accurate and I love it but I wanna know what exactly these people are seeing to call a 190cm boy a baby lol. He's even drawn exceptionally baby this chapter 😭

I love it though, keep hammering the Nagi is baby agenda please knsr, just like in bllk too. We know it won't last anyway so let us savor this please 😭 My greatest fear is Nagi changing super drastically during his development honestly. Like please, his personality is what endeared him to his fans, please write him well knsr I'm begging you 😭 You can make him badass and independent but still a cute babychick too right? 😭 I don't want some overly egoistical chad coming back 😭

Like even his speech is baby. Its not translated over when Nagi says "tell me before you leave" but in Japanese he says 「教えてよバイバイの前にさ」 ("tell me before you say bye bye") which is again... so cute. It's like when he said "let's live in a dream as we say bye bye" in a previous chapter. Why aren't they capturing the cute nuances of Nagi like before?? The translations are so trash these days!!

Anyway, can't wait for him to get wrecked by Loki next chapter lol considering how sus it is he barely appeared much. I need my ultimate genius-genius interaction!! Idky but Loki has always given me the creeps since his first appearance. He's always drawn so unnerving in a predator/hunter vibe and his background is always dark too... Curious.

I didn't expect Nagi to be interacting with Luna this much instead but I enjoyed it. Lunagi is my new ship :)

Also didn't expect a Rin/Barou kinda speech from Luna lol. Again, flight and bird symbolism. I'm still on the Nagi's gonna gain wings in his aura agenda (delusional). Like no way is this just a "he's currently a baby bird who needs to learn how to fly" reference. And my personal theory for his ego is still "being the one who shines the brightest/feels the most heated up on the field" which can motivate him to do hype moves only he can achieve. But we shall see. He's still being so vague with his ego which is expected since even at NEL he didn't figure it out...

Like Reo's is clearly articulated, his ego is "to shape my destiny with my goals" but for Nagi what he wanna trust in is "to face the world here and now and tear open a new path with this surging emotion"? It feels like he just wanna be immersed in the moment since he's usually so apathetic? I mean it makes sense, I've said this so many times everywhere but Isagi's journey is to learn techniques and logic that can bring out his innate fire to become the number 1 striker, but Nagi? He has all the innate techniques being a genius and all so his journey is to learn how to discover that fire to motivate his genius. So basically his end goal is to feel fired up! Going from death to feeling alive finally!

(Also thanks knsr for the chiginagi crumbs)

About the main manga, I wonder will 299-300 be two chapters of Nagi backstory before its break 🥺 Somehow I’ve doubts we’re getting his backstory here even if I really want it.

[crossedwithblue]

Balance and fair exchange in the Scholomance

I'm fresh out of my first Schlomance reread, and, besides thoroughly enjoying the foreshadowing, I have Thoughts about the ideas of balance and fair exchange in the series. I'm a scientist by training and Indian by origin, and both of those come into it.

Let's start with mass in and out of the school (because that was the start of this post). The seniors grow over the course of their four years - a lot. Between 14-18, most boys are going to have several growth spurts, and many girls might have reached their adult height but they're still gonna fill out into their adult body types*. We also know that the freshers get a very strict weight allowance. My hunch is that the collective allowance is the difference between the incoming freshers' and the outgoing seniors' bodyweight. This would preserve the mass balance within the school such that no mana is wasted on importing or exporting excess mass (more on that in a minute!). Presumably, the collective allowance is equally distributed, since if the enclavers had managed to skew it in their favour, it would most definitely be mentioned, plus this also fits well the the Scholomance's impersonal fairness**.

N.B. the collective weight difference is probably less than you'd think. Personally, I (cis woman) was already pretty much my adult height and weight at 14, it just redistributed itself a lot, from my tummy to my hips and breasts. The boys would definitely mostly pick up in height, but given that they were all fed up before initiation, even they'd probably have less of an overall weight difference than you'd think - which is why the weight allowance is so strict. Then again, any equipment they're taking out with them helps push it back the other way.

*(the malnutrition they face in the Scholomance would admittedly hamper their growth, but given that the boys manage to shoot up in height and the girls get their periods, and that they're able to keep up with the gruelling study and graduation-prep schedules, and that multiple people including El are described as putting on muscle, it does seem like the school is at least able to feed most of the kids well enough that they're reasonably physically healthy)

**(slightly but not entirely jossed by the short story in Buried Deep - it could still work in the framework of my theorising, if this was changed after the events of canon).

I typed all that out and then questioned how it makes the magical ingredients work. Food and water take care of themselves via excreting about the same, as do gases. My extremely morbid answer to this is, uh, dead bodies. And the mana generated by the schoolwork and the suffering and the deaths, I guess. IIRC people can very easily lose stuff or have it turn 'bad', so perhaps that helps with the balance of mass too.

Back to my point about importing/exporting mana - mana is a lot of things in this universe. It's bargaining power, it's currency, and it's energy. My headcanon is that the mana is actually the energy that should be wasted through heat when you do anything at all, but wizards have the ability to recapture and store it somehow - which is why everyone has a finite capacity. They're just, IDK, as close to a perpetual motion machine as you can get? Obviously far from perfect, since they have the aforementioned finite capacities and still need to eat and sleep etc. But the way mana is talked about is pretty similar to the way energy behaves in the real world, IMO. The Scholomance isn't terribly hard-rules with its magic but this is one that's pretty consistent. You can't create or destroy energy. You can't get something from nothing, that's not how the world works. Someone, somewhere, will pay the price, even if you don't know who or how or when.

This ties in extremely effectively with the idea of balance and fair exchange that's central to the Scholomance series. The enclaves can't stabilise space out of nothing, they have to borrow it from somewhere (plus the whol deal with enclaves in the first place - I won't spoiler it, but iykyk!). You have to do the work to build up mana, and malia use has its own terrible costs. Aadhya and El's friendship starts with Aadhya brokering deals; El respects and likes her because she does so fairly. The universe is a horribly, wonderfully fair creditor and debtor: it will always, always collect, but equally, it will always fulfil your sacrifices, even if you could never predict how any of it comes due.

For me, El and Orion being drawn to each other fits in with this. As far as I know, karma doesn't work in a 'sins of the fathers' way - why would it, when you're going to be reborn into your own consequences anyway - but El was born to be Orion's counterweight and balance, the golden child illuminating the dark void. I'm sure it's been said before it's very obvious symbology, but still worth including in the list of points. (Side fun fact: 'Deepthi' means 'light' in Sanskrit - it's a very popular name, and of course is El's prophetic ancestress's name. Coincidence? Maybe, but I doubt it very much).

I've talked quite a bit in my previous post about how it seems like Indian philosophy is very deeply baked into the worldbuilding of the series, and I think this is another case of that. Everyone's heard of the concept of karma, of course, but the Western notions of it aren't Thee most accurate. Karma in Indian philosophy and religion is a more long-term thing, there's no 'instant karma'. Most of the time, the karmic consequences won't manifest until your next life at the earliest - and, of course, your karma determines what your rebirth will be. Good karma means you end up as a noble animal, bad karma means you'll be an earthworm, just as examples. This also fits in pretty well with the mana/malia stuff, which I talk about a bit more in the first post.

So that turned into a bit of a ramble of science and culture in the worldbuilding, less coherent than I originally planned, but I hope someone finds this interesting and/or food for thought! Novik does such a masterful job of weaving allegory and philosophy into this series, I love it.

[conclaveconfessions]

As a general I like this fandom a lot. I have my dislikes. I do agree sometimes they make Vincent too holy or too quick to drop his vows, but I'm also deeply sympathetic because well... the person that writes, oh let's say, 2.5k puppy play is indeed not looking for a very deep exploration of these characters.... And That's ok!

What I did when I was puzzled by this (the desire to read erotic content but without the rush) was sort by word count, and it really helped! There are gorgeous agonizing pining long fics in this fandom. Not that many gosh I Need More but there are. Everyone give them a try. I also do see a lot of effort to make the stories grounded, even if they might get a bit ooc, which other fandoms tend to not do... Or do way less, I mean.

I can't cope with Lawrenitez mpreg though. Firstly I don't think Vincent is able to get pregnant and even if he could, like. My mind is only screaming: They're post menopausic queens!!! No one is getting pregnant!!! Stop!! (Do whatever you want haha it's ok) I do however cackle and enjoy when I see "Vincent getting knocked up by the holy spirit" now THAT'S literature (lol). I guess the difference is that if it's by God magic, it's a full on miracle, if it's by a "natural" way it's really weird (to me). Just on account of their ages. I think it's not THAT popular of a trope here, I think most people like the fact they're old men but still-

The reason I mention it it's because I know I'm really a hypocrite. I was complaining about omegaverse with a friend. I do think making Vincent an omega sort of goes again the " uncertainty" that gives him his condition in canon (maybe make him both Alpha and Omega? A complete unknown fourth sex? Uterus and knot? I'm just brainstorming), it flattens the canon stuff. To me, omegaverse is a setting that enhances fictional sex differences because it's hot, but in this context, where the point is that those sex difference irl are maybe not as important as we think, I find it against the characters, and as such, not as hot (I liked one where Lawrence was a beta tho haha)

The reason why I'm a hypocrite though, is that I do sort of love it with Bellesco haha. There, the idea of the sex difference being embarrassing for him is super hot (oh, I'm bottom!Tedesco, Omega!Tedesco one hundred percent). So in that context, I like it. WE know there's nothing shameful in being a bottom or being the "lesser" sex but he doesn't. And that's hot.

Another reason why I'm a hypocrite is that I do love these old queens suddenly feeling all horny. Like, the idea of Lawrence, post prostate cancer already in his autumn years suddenly being absolutely gob smacked horny for Vincent and soo guilty about it that it cures his impotence... I like it. Ditto with Tedesco finally crashing down and admitting he's queer, haha. I have no issues with old men holding erections all night, unrealistic as it could be. I do respect the erectile dysfunction soldiers 🫡

At the end of the day, your tastes are very personal. It's ok if you don't like something that's going on in the fandom. It's normal! And it should encourage you to write your own stuff, or to shower with praise the people that are doing what you like, so they do more :^) and you can also talk about your dislikes as long as you are respectful.

I think speaking about your dislikes is equally important though, since it might let you to people that also dislike the same things you do and you can share "correct takes" with each other. This is a bit arrogant, to say it that way, but let's face it, that's how it feels. And it's no crime either. Saying: ok whatever but THIS is better/hotter, I'll write it- it's like. Half of why fandom exists. Have fun :^)

I don't think I'll write anything myself anytime soon because I'm well fed by the current works, but who knows. My rudimentary English doesn't hold a candle to the poets of this fandom tho <\3

~

[pageofheartdj]

All jokes and horny aside(I do love horny and specific position only🙏 and them fighting over everything always ever and ooc fun scenarious) radioapple are so interesting to think about, about their dynamics, and the characters in general. So I will!

As they are in canon now, Lucifer did not care for Alastor plus the general disgust(and guilt) towards sinners. And then the song happened and Alastor became Lucifer's enemy number one xD If Alastor will drop it, Lucifer won't have a reason to hate on him, but initial negative imperssion is still there.

And Alastor, he is a mysterious guy. The abusive dad is still a theory, him being momma boy and therefore connecting with women better doesn't say anything about his dad situation. The Lilith's deal is also just a theory for now. So for me his immediate negative reaction comes from the same place as his annoyance at Carmilla disregarding him. He wants to be on the top, the most unknown, the most powerful one, the most scary one. He loves attention, he loves keeping everyone alert with his antics.

And he loves being in control, his plans going exactly the way he wants them, not that he can't improvise. He immediately tenses when he sees the sign welcoming dad, he knows. The King of Hell has the ultimate power, the ultimate influence, the ultimate importance. Alastor does not mind someone being more than him in something like he is politely neutral with Zestial. But the hotel carries importance for Alastor's plans so he feels threatened. Before with Charlie's daddy issues I guess he did not expect to see him anytime soon. But here he is, threatening to pull Charlie from his influence, from her needing his powers.

But then we see him being completely chill and not antagonistic at all. One of the reasons I think is that he let his stim out, for a reason being restricted in his activities, the deals he can make, the souls he can take, the kills. And because Charlie needed Lucifer to arrange a meeting with Heaven, something that only Lucifer can do. And that's it. So he lets go for a bit.

Who knows what dynamic season 2 will bring, now that Lucifer stays at the hotel and Alastor took a hard blow at his ego and reputation.

In the wiki it is stated Alastor dislikes people who are like him, but likes people who are more like him, but who knows where is this line. He also said to like Willy Wonka character for being an entertainer and a dick. And Lucifer was told to be like that character. For now Lucifer is a depressed sad baby, but we saw how he can be when he is fucking with others. Alastor likes fun, no matter how this fun is done. Potentially he can enjoy Lucifer's presence. Not to mention, he respects power, at least when the whatever deal with Alastor is done, potentially.

Don't know how prevalent this is now, but both seem to enjoy collecting certain things, like ducks and those firby toys. Both were drawn to dance-vibe with each other.

Speaking of, both love music and play instruments, they can totally jam with each other, making their own little concerts.

Lucifer's idea of sinners will be definetely challenged with Alastor. It's one thing to meet a nice sinner and think 'ah they are not like everyone else'. But it's a completely different thing when this sinner is exactly what you hate about them, the maniac who loves violence. And then you have to come to terms that even THEY can become better, can have something to them. Lucifer drowned himself in guilt and shame, it would be nice to get a bit in touch with people in Hell. Because it seems like he stays away from most things sinners bring with themselves.

Alastor was told to like theatres, so it would be nice for them to go together, to try and see something good from humanity even in Hell. Something that can still keep not being corrupted. And humans creativity and artistism can definetely spark more hope back to Lucifer.

And I think Lucifer would appreciate someone who treats him as equal, it doesn't look like he cares much about being a King, so having someone who will not shy away at punching first can be good.

Lucifer's main support of course would be Charlie(and hopefully hotel crew), but having someone who he can rely to get things actually done is pleasant. He is a King of Hell but he doesn't often act like one, he surely will benefit from someone who can act appropriately spooky. (He can get scary, but I think he needs to get MAD mad for this side of him to appear and at that point you better have Charlie around to calm him down)

And they have to keep the beef part of their interactions, it's just fun to have someone you can freely argue with with no hard feelings afterwards, just a battle of words, their interests don't always aligning. And it's fun to mindlessly banter about them. Like their sweet and bitter food preference, or cooking techniques, etc. Small irrelevant things, or maybe even some clash of ideals, but it is oh so fun to let yourself go lose and not hold back.

It would be nice for them to develop mutual respect and learn to care about each other's boundaries, be it the painful personal history, or choices of leading the relationship.

Yes, the aroace situation. Start with simple, I do not believe Lucifer is straight(nor NT xD) and he is perfectly sex-positive(he started with no experience and no shame either xD). He is more on a demi spectrum for me, getting excitedly horny only with close people(one-times can happen, it's a grey(literally) area). And Alastor... he is touch-aversed until you are close, then the touching is required(both gentle and playful and rough, depending if he wants to sooth himself or get energised or let the stim out). The same with the bed situation. He gets attracted long after all the other bonds are formed. He is sex-indifferent, never wanted with anyone so never went there. He is perfectly content with himself. And when it starts, yet again, depending on what it feels like in the moment.(cannibalism was not the only thing he grew to like in Hell(¬‿¬))

[trashisstillhere]

While I’m relaxing rn, have another meme related to the NN AU I only started on and was almost done with a few days back and now just went to finish to finally show it off

Nobu/NN and Kurai!

Another meme that i really wanted to do cuz it fits them both.

Like, Nobu is very kind. TOO kind for their own good in fact, there may be times they start to unnecessary apologise to any one for no reason at all, even if it is literal their enemy. Of course, they still can stand up to themselves when they try and do their best to improve themselves….but no matter how much they’ll change, they’ll always will be such a ‘nice guy’. (Not THAT kind of ‘nice guy’s tho lol)

They truly are a pure and true hero with a heart of shining gold…

Which is exactly what Kurai HATES.

Now Kurai dislikes every each ninja that has been chosen to protect Norrisville for years equally , all from First Ninja to Randy back when he was still in 9th grade….to Kurai, every single one of these ‘hero’s’ is apart of his hit/hate list. No matter who they are, even Mac Antfee even though he wasn’t really a great ninja in the past…(he DID kinda like the fact that he just let a stanked monster be stuck frozen in the freezer room at the school instead of destanking it for many years later on tho I guess, that was pretty good he ain’t gonna lie)

But Nobu? The current new ninja? Now that is a whole different story.. this kids kindness is SO big that he can’t STAND it! I mean seriously! This kid has been through so many struggles before and after becoming the ninja, bullied and picked on, has cried more then once, breakdown after breakdown… and yet they STILL keep a smile on their face!? Ugh!

At this point, this kids kindness is like a whole aura around them that the all knowing chaos himself sure as hell don’t want to be near by! Why would he? Ugh, being this kind just makes him sick to his stomach…and he doesn’t even have a stomach! Literally!!

“Grr….how disgusting….”

—-

So yeah, this meme really does fit them!..

Btw, a part of me has been thinking about doing a character/oc ask of my own! I honestly really want to try it out too! Im thinking about first starting only with NN/Nobu and Kurai to make it simple!

I’m still kinda thinking about it for now tho, what do you all think?..

But yeah, enjoy this pic for now!

Original:

[katyawriteswhump]

power of love (21/21 & the end ❤️)

steve has powers/eddie lives season 4 fix-it fic 🙄

blurb: Steve has a habit of surviving near death experiences then getting sick for no reason. And Eddie and those fatal bat bites? After an impossible feat of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from Steve, he’s mysteriously fixed. So, Eddie’s back to being banished, this time with Steve and Robin in tow. Eddie’s healing, but Steve isn’t… and life gets even more confusing, when Eddie develops feelings for Steve, which aren’t entirely unrequited.

(or, lots of angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, eventual smut and happy ending)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

Epilogue, part 2

Eddie POV—one week later

Eddie raises his hand to knock on the Harrington’s palatial double doors. Before he makes contact, Steve flings one of them open, a box tucked under his arm.

They both simply grin till Steve dumps the box and they kiss. It’s a totally normal, unsupernatural, ‘hey-boyfriend-it’s-cool-you’re-moving-in-with-me-and-my-uncle-today’ kiss.

With a lot of tongue, and Steve doing that twisty thing that sets Eddie’s insides twisting in a good way.

Oh yeah, baby. Everything in Eddie Munson’s life is pretty much perfect.

Their final showdown with Vecna pushed supernatural strangeness to a new seismic magnitude. The flood basically destroyed the shit out of the Upside Down. It crumbled to nothingness seconds after Eddie, Steve, El and the others hauled ass out of there.

That was only the beginning.

The next day, Chrissy and Fred were found wandering and confused near the wrecked trailer park. Then Barb Holland showed up, equally discombobulated, sitting by Steve’s swimming pool. None of them had any memory of their encounters with the Upside Down. Nor did Bob Newby, who was found sitting on the step of a shut-up Radio Shack. He was puzzling over the ruination of his hometown and a date on a newspaper that suggested he’d missed well over a year.

A bunch of O’Sullivan’s lowlier acolytes had resurfaced too, beside a river two counties away, devoid of memories of their encounter with the underside of Hawkins. Fortunately, O’Sullivan himself had not remerged, and neither had Jason Carver.

Max, however, was fine, all her injuries mysteriously fixed. And, despite everything, she was pretty damn keen everyone keep an eye open for Billy.

So, yeah, Steve’s bat-bite-free torso—which Eddie now shoves his hands up under Steve’s polo to enjoy—is the least of the weirdness. It’s a bright spring day, birds chirrup in the trees, and there isn’t a cloud in the azure-blue sky.

“You sure Wayne won’t mind?” Steve asks, as they load his boxes into the back of Eddie’s beat-up chevy, which somehow survived the carnage. “It’s just… you know, kinda lonely here. I mean, I was absolutely used to it, but since… I dunno, since my parents are selling up and literally never coming back to Hawkins, it’s just weird. I guess I got used to not being alone.”

“Babe,” says Eddie, bracing Steve’s hips. “It’s a huuuge three-bed house. Yeah, it’s only temporary, but Stinson is promising Wayne a new-build as part of the compensation package. It’s basically a palace! I mean, maybe not compared to this place, though—"

“I’ll pay rent,” butts in Steve. “Family Video is miraculously still there, and my parents are gonna give me a small cut of the sale price.”

“Wayne never accepted rent off me. I’m not imagining my boyfriend is gonna be any different in his eyes.”

Boyfriend.

Eddie takes a moment to enjoy the glow that word always brings to Steve’s eyes. The glow he feels in his own chest. Sometimes, he feels it should be more awkward than this. After all, it’s been barely three weeks since everything with Vecna kicked off for him.

It feels like a lifetime.

Eddie can barely remember a time when he wasn’t in love with Steve Harrington.

“You wanna go home?”

On the ride, Steve is quiet and squirmy. Eddie is about to yell, “Spit it out, honey,” when Steve finally uncorks:

“Eddie, I need to tell you something. My brain scans came back healthy and stuff, but… there’s a lot of shit I can’t remember. Pretty much everything that happened in the Upside Down is hazy and getting hazier. Maybe my brain isn’t fixed after all? Not that I want to bother the doctors right now, the hospitals are really busy and—"

“It’s not just you.” Eddie frowns, wondering if he should be worrying about this more. “I don’t remember dying in the bat-storm. I want to remember that kiss when you first unleashed the flood, but…” He trails off, pausing to think through his words while swerving around a pothole. “Even Will says most of his memories of the Upside Down are fading fast. It’s like, now the place is destroyed, the memories can’t hold on. It was flushed clean away, and the last dirty stains are fading.”

“Oh, right.” Steve stops nervously fingering his lips and shrugs. “Cool?”

“Beyond cool,” says Eddie. The conversation ends there.

Truth is, Eddie had been dead curious about where Steve’s powers came from. The day after they’d destroyed the Upside Down, Robin had been in library-overdrive trying to find out about ancient water deities and spouting whacky theories about Sulis and Gaia. Dustin had been bugging all his science geek friends about various parallel dimension theories.

Then they’d all just… let it go.

They dump Steve’s stuff into the spare room at Wayne’s, which currently has no bed in it. “You can take mine till we get one delivered,” says Eddie, “I’ll kip on the sofa.”

Steve tosses his hands in the air. “You gotta be kidding me, Munson.”

“My room’s only got a single.”

“So what? We get cosy, huh?” The space between them evaporates in an instant and they’re in each other’s arms. “When’s Wayne gonna be back?”

“He’s signing legal papers, for the house and shit. Gonna be gone aaaaaall daaaay.” They beam, point blank, into each other’s faces. “You wanna fool around?”

“No shit, Sherlock,” says Steve. “But we don’t have to, you know, go all the way.” Because they still haven’t, not yet. It’s been one hulluva week and time alone has been minimal. “We got all the time in the world.”

“I guess,” said Eddie, and after a kiss that sends his blood rushing south fast, he whispers, “let’s just go with the flow.”

“Another water reference, I’m gonna punch your lights out.” Steve strips his polo off over his head. An irresistible force drags Eddie’s palm up over that sculpted, swimmer’s chest: “Jesus, changed my mind, Eddie—jump my bones already.”

…

Steve POV

It proves a darn good job that Wayne’s out. Eddie’s little camp bed creaks really loud.

They kiss, then break apart to rip Eddie’s Hellfire Club shirt off, then kiss again, rolling and grappling and laughing their heads off. Steve discovers he’s got a kink for licking Eddie’s tats—even those goddamn bats, which have ceased to send shivers down either of their spines. He also loves Eddie playing and tweaking with his nipples, rolling them between fingers then saliva-wettened lips. Especially when it’s kind of too much and makes him hiss.

Soon, because they both want it bad, Steve splays himself naked on his front. Eddie settles between his legs, fiddling with the drawstring on his pants.

“Jesus, your ass,” murmurs Eddie. “I wanna bounce on it like a trampoline.”

“Haha,” says Steve. He’s dripping with sweat and squirming with need, even as Eddie buries his face there. Steve squeaks at the first dab of Eddie’s tongue, clenches involuntarily. “No… Yes… D-don’t stop.” He wills every muscle to relax, and Eddie laps away madly.

Eddie makes delighted slurping noises, intersected with sighs that turn the air tropical. He replaces his tongue with well-lubed fingers that circle and tease and make a billion nerve endings Steve never knew about stand on end.

It’s so cool, thinks Steve, to let somebody else take the lead, to trust them so completely… and then he quits thinking. He’s on a knife-edge between pleasure and pain, fists clenching, and toes curling, pins and needles gathering pace everywhere, like his whole damn body is an erogenous zone.

Jesus, even the way Eddie’s chest heaves against his legs is excruciatingly hot, setting his hairs on end alongside those nerves. Though Eddie’s pacing is arguably too candy-ass romantic. Before Steve can stop himself, he’s stroking himself frantically:

“Fuck, Eddie, get inside me before I come.”

Eddie lightly slaps Steve’s butt, which Steve might have just waggled at him. “Flip over? I wanna see your pretty eyes.”

Steve can’t bitch about that. As they scramble into the new position, he’s too happily choked with feelings. Steve hitches his ankles around Eddie, heels digging into his butt, urging him closer. Eddie slides those gorgeous hands all over Steve’s abs and chest, while Steve’s eyes lap up every inch of Eddie. Particularly the part that he really needs inside him, like, ten minutes ago.

Slowly, and even more adoringly, Eddie breaches Steve, and they fuck.

It’s intense at first, almost too intense. Steve teeters once more on the precipice of too much, gasping, caught between giggles and kinda happy sobs. Eddie asks a ton of caring questions, with his voice and with those super-loving eyes. Truth is, Steve can barely take in Eddie’s words.

Doesn’t matter.

He’s never felt so in tune with anyone, so connected. He stutters out: “Yup. M’good. More? HOLY SHIT!”

He rolls his hips, encouraging Eddie to move faster. Crazy staccato grunts escape both their throats as they discover their perfect pacing together. Soon enough, they’re back in familiar territory, sucking each other’s faces off. Steve kinda wants to make love for hours. Instead, they urge each other, teen-idiot style, toward a messy shared climax.

After a lingering lazy kiss, Eddie rolls off, pulls Steve into his arms. They grin at each other dopily, which they do waaaay too much these days. Eddie drifts off with his chin dug into Steve’s pecs. Steve presses his cheek to Eddie’s hair and cuddles around him, their breaths rising and falling to the same relaxed rhythm.

He feels slightly sore, and he loves even that. He also notes, dozily, that he can now barely recall what happened in their final trip into the Upside Down, when it was destroyed. Did they all get superpowers or something? Christ knows! Seems unlikely, somehow.

It’s stopped worrying him, though. It’s a distant dream, like that time he nearly drowned in Lover’s Lake, when he was ten. And when he nearly died in the Soviet Base. What exactly did happen there? Maybe Robin recollects, because he’s stumped.

Screw it, who cares?

He knows he’ll remember his first time with Eddie forever.

A few months later, they make love on a deserted beach in Hawaii—that’s pretty memorable too. Fortunately, Steve got over that annoying travel sickness he had when he was a kid, because he and Eddie are off to see the entire world together.

 The End

no pressure tags (not least because it's been months): @kal-ology @estrellami-1 💚

End notes: This isn’t exactly what I intended when I figured out this fic over a year ago… that said, there were times when I thought I might just leave it open-ended with Steve and Eddie linking up with El to go down and face Vecna together, taken as granted that they win… anyhow, in the end, I opted to show at least a little of the showdown and then this wrote itself with the fading memories and I decided to keep it. Thank you so much for sticking with me on this journey 💚🍾💚

[causticcorvus]

A criticism of episode 44

Well, I guess I walked right into this one, so now I have to address what I really think of this episode and the episodes surrounding it.

Just off the bat though, I want to like this episode, because I am biased and greatly enjoy both redemption arcs and heroes teaming up with their former rival-antagonists. However, this episode does it rather poorly, and is a symptom of greater issues with the overall writing quality of the show. I want to like it just for being Masquerade's last grand appearance too, but it falls entirely flat in that regard as well. So..

Issue #1, the entire setup for this to even happen. You are going to tell me, that as Dan is laying there, about to be killed, the person he is asking for is Masquerade? Not his other friends who could maybe have caught up by now (and they do by the end of this episode), and not Alice herself? No, Masquerade, someone who turned down his offer to work together, and may not even exist anymore as far as he knew at that point. He was never 'with you' to begin with. Dan talks about him like they were a friend who died. Him holding out hope for Alice herself to come back to them would have been at least a bit more reasonable, even. I'm going to chose to ignore the danger sense/ESP aspect here entirely as well, because.. eh (I will however take minute to ask why Klaus is even needed here? Just use the DT. Just do it.) Setup and Dan's logic aside, I'll move on to the next point..

Issue #2, the near entirety of Masquerade's character in this episode. He is back to being a plot device. Yes. I know some people don't understand why I believe this, but I'm going try my best to explain it. Masquerade being in this episode is 100% a case of 'that sounds cool, let's do it,' from the writers. And sometimes, that sort of indulgence is okay. Masquerade to Bakugan for me is very much like Jack Spicer is to Xiaolin Showdown- the actual best part of the show. However, when you strip away most of what makes the character the character, and parade around their husk, it loses its impact. Masquerade is at his best when being the arrogant, confident, and charismatic though morally bankrupt antagonist that he was. This personality is slowly supplanted by his internal struggle that he goes through between episodes 34-38, fraying his perfection at the edges and revealing a more volatile depth below. However, the Masquerade we get here, in this episode, is neither of those. He suddenly lacks nearly every single defining trait that made him 'him', and could have been replaced by any single one of Dan's generically 'good' friends. Yes, Masquerade no longer wants to be evil anymore, but he's an entirely different character here. I will admit, that his introduction in the episode is somewhat on point, but after that? For one, he's entirely too.. I don't want to say 'cooperative' with Dan, but, friendly? I would expect with everything between them, and the differences in the kinds of people they are, that they would clash more. Them working together should have actually been a struggle, not some manufactured plot contrivance. Masquerade's ability and strategy are made out to be inhumanely perfect here, and it's such a sudden backtrack for his character development from being exposed as the flawed person that he was in episode 38. It's not a good look for Dan either, to be relying so heavily on the person he was just proven to be an equal to in that same episode- to have the rival he just bested being characterized as being 'so much better' than him again. At the very least, I didn't expect Dan to roll over and let Masquerade make up the entire battle plan. I guess what I'm saying is, they lobotomized Masquerade and replaced him with a Gary Stu for the episode- a 'get out of jail free' plot husk for Dan to benefit from, while also making Dan look incapable. Issue #2.5 is tied into the last point, but more specific- I absolutely loathe episodes that are set up this way. The entire episode is a plot contrivance. Every time it looks like our heroes are actually struggling, or that something compelling is actually happening- lol no here's a flashback, we planned this. Suspend your disbelief, we totally saw 45 moves ahead of our opponents, what do you mean it's not believable? It absolutely sucks to watch. One well-timed reverse Uno, or 'we had a contingency plan' is okay, but when it's every single little thing? And again, you're telling me this guy lost to Dan? When he has the foresight of a chess grandmaster? They pull this out of nowhere. Which ironically makes this episode even more stupid when you learn later that these bad guys supposedly 'lost on purpose'. That's also really dumb, but we're not talking about that right now (the entirely of the rest of this season is bad imo, but.. another day, another day.) Long and short, even with the other flaws already detailed above, if the episode would have at least been enjoyable to watch, I could have looked past most of it. But no. They wanted to write something 'cool', but it's like they didn't have a clue how to do it. They put so little effort into the actual writing of this episode, and detracts from the 'cool' massively. But, we still have one more thing to talk about.

Issue #3, how they handled Alice, and in conjunction, Masquerade's 'end'. I, to this day, do not understand why Masquerade would just disappear before things with Naga were actually dealt with. If he wanted Alice to do things herself, if this wasn't his 'battle' anymore, why did he even help here at all? Alice is right- she doesn't have the experience. She needs the help. (Granted, the real reason Alice will go on to be a liability isn't exactly her battling ability, but she still ends up being the one to get Wavern killed, so there's that). Now for the thing that in isolation is the very best part of this whole mess of an episode, but when looked at as part of a bigger picture, starts to fall apart. 'I know you can do it' 'Don't you know? It's because I am, you, Alice.' This line. This is a nice sentiment. This is the only shred of character he shows at all in this episode. But it's an excuse. It's an excuse by the writers to get rid of Masquerade, and try to give Alice some screen time (too little, too late). It's also a lie. Accepting yourself does not mean that piece of you just goes away. I've made the comparison to Yugioh GX before, but I'm also a big Persona fan, and that series embodies the message of accepting your true self, and all the parts that make that up. You can't change them, but you can learn to work with them, take them into yourself and acknowledge yourself. If this show was written going forward with an actual understanding of what they just tried to do here, then this would have been fine. But that's not what they did. Masquerade does not truly become a part of Alice. Very little if anything changes about her character. She doesn't have some self-realization, she doesn't change the way she looks at or approaches things. In fact, Alice seems to come out of the other side of the entire experience that is this show relatively unaffected by everything she's been through. She 'runs away' for 5 episodes before this, but there's no lingering change in her beyond this. This is where I implore people to compare to Jaden/Judai from Yugioh GX. Jaden starts and ends the show as an entirely different character, shaped by his experiences. He has a very similar plot where he has to reconcile himself and his actions as another version of himself, the Supreme King, and it actually changes him. Even just mentioning Yubel again, if they in any way implied that Masquerade was still a presence within Alice, guiding her when needed, that would have been better than what they ended up doing. Because as it stands, all they did was erase Masquerade, and fail to develop Alice in a meaningful way after this episode concludes.

That was long, but hopefully I articulated my issues well enough. Bakugan was always a show where the concept sold the shoddy writing, but I feel it really comes apart from episode 39 and beyond. The grand finale falls flat on its face when they take the only semblance of structure the show had away, and the writers had already lacked the skill to make such a bold departure from the status quo. Edit: One last thing I forgot in terms of Dan, but can we talk about how messed up it is that Dan is asking for Masquerade, and happy to see Masquerade while knowing he must be controlling Alice to be there? It's like Dan doesn't actually care about Alice at all (though considering how many times she goes missing that they never notice, maybe that's not a stretch?)

[kalisseo]

BLEACHER CREATURES

last night i finally finished the designs!! wahoo!!

(heights might not be accurate, I didn't know very well how to fit them into the template)

(also warning for long text post)

as in the show, they are a group of outcasts who torment the popular kids and enjoy causing chaos, and they only become a group until s3

in the show it's never stated how they became friends, but I have two ideas, one is that topher created the bleacher creatures as a club, and the other one is that jill and vlad are the ones who do that (or maybe just jill)

either way, topher is their self proclaimed leader and the rest have assigned roles, that doesn't mean he's a real authority to them, or that he thinks they're below him, after all they are a group of friends and they see each other as equals (except for Ivan who's an asshole and it's still not used to women)

topher is the leader and the one that usually makes the final decisions, ivan is kind of his right hand or second in command, Mary is the voice of reason and usually the one that finds a way to make their plans work, both jill and vlad are more like henchmen? I guess, they both propose ideas and are the ones who add more to the plan, and usually the ones to do "the work" because they enjoy that, but vlad is the sentimental or romantic one in the group

this is an established dynamic they're okay with, this doesn't mean it can't change, sometimes one of them can be the leader of the day, usually jill and mary are the ones to take that place when topher doesn't, and ivan tries to but no one listens to him

at first, it was a really awkward friendship, but soon they all got to know each other and bond over being outcasts, and together they all embrace being freaks and being cloned from horrible people in history

vlad, jill and mary usually bond over fashion and do their nails together, or some "girly" stuff, like sometimes doing make up or skin care, Vlad usually only likes having his nails done but makes company to the girls, Topher joins too, to me he would join to the skin care part, but it's mostly there doing company like vlad

Vlad and jill embrace their clone parents legacy in their own way, something they have in common and it's a base of their friendship, and also they both enjoy dressing like their clone parents in their own personal modern way, also they share having niche interests I think, but different ones, jill of course loves every jack the reaper piece of media she can find and horror gory movies, like I said vlad is more romantic and sentimental, and enjoys goth literature, vampires and reading/writing poems

both jill and vlad teach mary how to embrace her clone mother in her own way

but, mary also lived her whole life trying to be her own person, something topher can relate to, she fantasizes a lot with being some kind of main character, and like in the show she has this manic pixie dream girl attitude, but being in the bcreatures made her embrace her more horrible side. she and topher get along because of this, and I think they have similar experiences

ivan and vlad bond over videogames I think, they have a more brothers dynamic, ivan makes fun of him a lot for his "feminine" interests, but that doesn't mean he doesn't try to help him, especially when vlad has a crush (on joan, mind you, that's another whole posts) , he usually thinks Ivan is dumb and doesn't agree with him in a lot of stuff, but appreciates the advice

in general ivan head butts a lot with the rest of the bcreatures, especially jill who tends to talk back in an aggressive way, and he was this close )( to being kicked out if it wasn't because topher wanted to give him a second chance, after all they only have each other. this doesn't mean topher and ivan never argued, they did, and they had a lot of disgraments, but topher is the one who keeps ivan at line, and ivan is trying to have his approval so they get to have a dynamic that works for them and for the rest of the group

ivan doesn't really like the girls that much, specially mary, who jill and vlad consider as the actual second in command, they have some kind of one sided rivalry, one sided because mary doesn't really care about being a leader or being seen as the one in command

topher is closer to ivan and mary, but he still sees jill and vlad as his friends, he admires how they can embrace their clone parents as a part of their identity, and enjoys their company, and likes their spirit for their plans.

so yeah, this is them as a group, in really short words their dynamic is that topher is their dumb leader and the rest his henchmen I guess

i still have to flesh them out individually, so if anyone is interested in one of them feel free to ask!

[whalehouse1]

Finally finished The Count of Monte Cristo and I have some thoughts. Mercedes being a target of his vengeance because she was unfaithful to him by marrying Fernand just screams a mixture of purity culture and paints Dumas and Dantes as "nice guys", at least to me. Albert having to join the army in Dantes's eyes just sits wrong with me, but I'm also very anti-military, so I may just be biased here, but also it was to conquer Algeria and I'm not going to celebrate any genocide in any capacity. Then the narrative tries to make you see Mme Danglers and Debray as bad people, but, Mme Danglers's only really problems were she was unfaithful to her husband, which their marriage is very much only in a legal sense, she plays the stock market and wants to marry off her daughter so she can have her freedom back. Debray, although always called cold, really only as that against him. The Danglers's dog likes him and he does help both of them and the only gross thing he really does, is play with the idea of marrying Eugiene, which yeah that's a category on PornHub, but honestly it's not a reason to see him as a villain. I'm still wondering what happened to Benedetto, cause out of all the deaths, besides one, him shanking Caderousse, seems like an appropriate response since he was being extorted and threatened. But also because, despite the novel trying to slutshame Mme Danglers, she deserves to know her kid. She was innocent in that and don't dare say she shouldn't have had the affair with Villefort so she's just as equal to blame. I understand it was a different time, but thinking a woman who wanted to have a child, was told it was a stillbirth and wept over the child while bleeding copious amounts, doesn't deserve to know her child is a disgusting thought. Also Dantes knew those two were half-siblings, stop promoting inbreeding dude. I could go on again about Mercedes and Albert cause good lord that part makes me very irate, but we have Mme Villefort, who, hats off to a girlboss queen, has a body count, but her last victim causing Dantes to say he caused this, is just wrong. Heleoise would have still killed everyone that she did even if he didn't show up. Her goal was Valentine's money, so that would have played out the way it did anyways. But then you have Caderousse, who Dantes forgives, but because of his greed, which wasn't present at the beginning of the story (at least to the extent it became), he becomes the most villainous of the four (I guess 5 because does the end of the book want to make Mercedes into one of the traitors), not even in terms of culture at the time, but his actions are the most abhorrent of them all. Morcef's are also terrible, but they are all off-screen, so to speak, so they don't really have the impact of Caderousse's, at least to me. Also Morcef's were all cowardly as opposed to the sheer violence from the former neighbor. Then we get Dantes being Woody Allen to Haydee at the end of the book and yeah, not a fan of either of those. I will admit, I was hoping Albert and Haydee became a thing, but those pale guys (I don't know how or why Mercedes, Albert or Haydee were described so white at the end of the book, even with Mercedes spending so much time inside, she'd have a different skin tone. This just bothers me so much as Dumas was mixed, he knew that the tone wouldn't be pale, and this is coming from someone whose skin tone along with his siblings are all different because we are mutts.) just don't because Haydee has stockholm syndrome and Albert has to pay for his father's crimes, which as one who despises the addage, "The son must pay for the sins of the father," I don't care for. That said I enjoyed most of the book, but the end got very judgy and condemny of certain characters in ways I do not agree with and even knowing the culture was different, find disagreeable, but who knows if I were born in those times if those would be the thoughts I still would have. But all things said and done, Nortier's the MVP of this book and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

[linnetagain]

Spoopy shenanigans it is! Thank you @gewhanaa for tagging me, hopefully you enjoy this little snippet for WIP Wednesday. Proof that I am, still, doggedly, picking my way through the conclusion of Good Men and Monsters.

Minor spoilers below the cut! See if you can guess what Father Dekarios might be doing... or why 😉

What is a ghost, but an echo? A memory? A piece of the past that has so firmly embedded itself that the spirit lingers. 

They are everywhere. Around most of the village, they are only slight stirrings. A brush of air, a cold breath all that marks where once a mother walked every day to and from the market to feed her children. Her footprints imbued with her spirit, still, so many years after she was laid to rest. Perhaps she prayed as she walked. For good produce. For healthy children. For a bargain. Either way, her footprints are a deeper memory than most.

The village is otherwise empty. It remains much as it was. Or has little reason to miss what came before, perhaps. Having been accustomed to the busy thoroughfares of Oxford and London, it is rather a surprise to find it so quiet. In a way, it is almost peaceful. 

The walk up to the manor is long. Time passes differently, in this liminal space where the world is softened. Like a layer of glass laid beneath reality, it is not reached so easily by the turning of the days or the seasons. Instead it takes time and refracts it in upon itself. Shortening and lengthening in equal measure, distorting it beyond recognition.

So Gale travels slowly, taking care to keep the edges of himself close. It has been a long time since he walked this way. If he were to go much faster, he would risk losing his tether. 

The manor, in comparison to the village, has a very clear ghost of what it used to be. When Gale reaches the crest of the hill, he finds himself caught, gazing up at it, for a moment too long. The castle remembers itself as it first was built; a wooden structure upon a mound, moated, the lingering memories of soldiers bearing crude arms and strange helms opening their shapeless mouths in empty faces in silent cries of battle. Gale edges through them, keeping careful track of where the ground truly is, and where it simply remembers being. Trying not to step through any of the figures of the fallen. They'd never know, of course. But still, it feels impolite.

Between the castle's wooden walls there are memories of stone, too. The turrets that replaced the motte and bailey, which once stood as siblings to the one that still remains. Over the modern façade there is another, a grand Georgian facing of sandstone pillars and wide glass windows, and atop that the Tudor red-brick that the towers were torn down to make space for. They are laid almost within one another, existing separately and simultaneously, like a photograph exposed halfway through development. The stone keep of the castle exists in both its moment of bright, sharp creation, and the mangled dilapidation it was later abandoned to.  

No more battles, it seems, at least, though as Gale ascends the grand staircase with appropriate care, stepping over the silvery-white lilypads of the moat below, there are shadows flickering around him. The sound of laughter; a snatch of a piece of music. Someone's name being called. And under all that, which might seem normal, there is a scream. A crackling of flame. Someone crying, for help, or for mercy. 

Gale steels himself against the ghosts of the place, and slips through the front door. Locked, of course. But nothing can hold him now. He's no more real than they are.

The ballroom is busier again. The air moves around him; flickering shadows brush his skin, his hair, fluttering at his cloak and leaving him shivering as if ruffled by a winter breeze. Whirling skirts of dancers. The rising voice of a bard in full flow. Glasses clinking, drinking horns raised in victory, cups clinked together in companionship. A small group of half-remembered shepherds huddle from the storm with their flock in the ruins of the old keep, their faceless figures much clearer than their flock, but far less than than those of a figure that Gale sees, at first, only from behind.

Then he turns. His face is clearer than nearly every figure around him, his features distinct. His eyes flash with humour, almost as if this memory is fresh. And yet it can't be. The fashion is one that Gale has only ever seen in paintings; portraits of his ancestors from generations before. Despite the cut of his waistcoat and breeches, however, he is unmistakeable.

Astarion.

His hair is longer, tied at the base of his skull with a ribbon. He bows, low and polite, to... nothing. Nobody. Astarion's echo moves through a party that no longer exists. Turning his hand, laughing behind his palm. Clearly talking to someone. A good friend, perhaps, if the way his head is bent is any indication.

Gale had not intended to follow. He is here for a reason. And yet.

Astarion turns. Not to dance. His elbow is held up, as if he had once walked arm in arm with another. They promenade, sedately, down the side of the ballroom. Through the shepherds. Through crumbling walls of a keep that has been gone for centuries. And out, through the door that Astarion had taken him, not even two full months ago.

And Gale follows.

[sage-nebula]

i need you to know that you’re the reason i made a tumblr account. and basically the reason i made an AO3 account too

I am both surprised and honored to hear this. I really hope that you enjoy your time here on tumblr, and that you have a lot of fun on AO3 as well! I hope this is okay to ask, but are you breaking_containment on AO3? I only ask because that user also said in their comment that they were waiting to make an AO3 account to comment on my fic. If you are that user, then I promise that I saw and was overjoyed about both comments, and I do plan on giving you proper replies! I just want to make sure that I can give you replies worthy of the gorgeous comments you wrote. <3 (And if you are not that user, uh . . . ignore this, I guess? LOL.)

Either way, I did see in one of the things you reblogged from my account that you are a fan of my fic Grounding Techniques, so thank you so much!! I'm really happy that you are enjoying it so far. Here is a snippet from chapter 3 -- specifically, how Cap's section starts out, in honor of your adorable icon:

The last words Friede ever spoke, on the worst day of Cap’s life, were: Cap, look after everyone for me. And to the best of his ability, Cap had. The crew made it difficult, of course; they went their separate ways, which crushed and frustrated him in equal measure. But once Roy picked Liko up from school, and both of them pulled Dot from her home, it became much easier to keep watch over all three of them. However furious he still felt that Friede had been taken by the sky they both held so dear, Cap was determined to make sure that no one harmed a hair on the three kids’ heads so long as he was around. It was the least that he could do. That changed the moment he caught sight of Friede across the street. Not that he saw him first. It was something on the air—a scent that threatened to pull Cap’s heart from his chest the moment his nose caught wind of it. And when he followed the scent, that was when Cap saw him; the same white hair, the same broad shoulders that Cap had ridden on so many times before. Cap was sprinting toward that hair and those shoulders before he even realized what he was doing. But that was when it had gone wrong. Cap was right—this was Friede. But something was wrong. His natural scent, under the strange soaps he was apparently now using, remained the same; but as Cap had inhaled Friede’s scent, there was something else there, too—a different smell, one that made the fur along his back stand on end even before Friede tried to give him away. (And how could he do that? After they had been separated for a year, how could he?)

Once again, thank you so much; I really appreciate you!

[empty-vessel-of-a-person]

I Feel Like when Sylus takes over LnDS, Zayne equally gains more recognition.

By now, you know the drill. This is just my general opinion about the boys. I MAYBE WRONG!!! But this is just my view of things. You are entitled to your own opinion and mine won't matter. So if you are up for it, please enjoy what my delulu brain is telling me.

I notice that after the introduction of Sylus, Zayne gains more attention as well. I feel like Rafayel steps down a bit not in a bad way tho and here are a couple of reasons why I think so.

As I mentioned before, Zayne and Sylus are completely opposite yet similar and this becomes a crucial aspect of the emotion the girlies is experiencing when interacting with the 2 boys.

I cannot dismiss the fact that Sylus, while still being less visual (if you know what I mean) still manages to overstimulate us. Yes, that means including me, a Zayne girlie. You cannot deny the fact that he is visually appealing and appetizing.

Sylus feeds our fantasies openly more than what Zayne can offer. Most of us, have a clear image of him in our head. Making a version of any of the boys to make our self reach that euphoria feeling. (Pls don't deny it)

And here comes why Zayne is essential to Sylus character to us. It may sound like Zayne is a side character to Sylus but the thing is, Zayne makes us feel grounded when Sylus overstimulates us. Hidden Motive and Lost Oasis is the best example of this.

Lost Oasis gives us more heightened pleasure while Hidden Motive gives us a more romantic and serene approach to intimacy.

Depending on your preference and personality, Sylus and Zayne is the epitome of secure and stable relationship which is why I think some openly compares them, when we can just accept and enjoy their difference.

As a girl, I know you will agree that Zayne can give us the stable, simple and normal life but in the back of our heads, we know that we want to be edged and manhandled by Sylus.

I admit my mistake in judging Sylus before his release and I sincerely apologize for doing so. But while I admit that I am physically attracted to Sylus, I am emotionally leaning more to Zayne because he gave me the feeling of domestic bliss (Anyone who is also an INFJ will understand me more)

In conclusion, Sylus and Zayne gave girls the emotional and physical needs we dream about which I guess why they both gained more popularity in the release of LnDS v.2.