#so i have that outlined but i want to also like bring the other companions in more

[bhaalsdeepbat]

it happened i started writing "oops here's a baby" au while i outline what i wanna do with the scenes i have planned in my main retelling but with more durge emphasis thing. some ramblings

Vera is gonna have big bat ears as a child that she has to grow into. like her ears will be HUGE everyone will be like this poor fucking kid....then she grows into a killer queen

i'm obsessed with the idea of vera being able to charm people kinda young and using that to get people to spoil her lmao she'll lean hard into vampire tropes when younger to fit in, then chill out about it. Like it's kinda a phase, but not all of it lmao she just exaggerating some things

I had initially thought about giving her long hair, but I like the idea of a longer A-Line. Still short, but long enough she (leon until she's old enough to do her own hair) can braid the front sections and pin everything back when she needs to be Fancy. She's gonna murder some people before adulthood cus that bloodlust be strong with her double whammy. For her it's the scent and hunger. Like once they get her hunger under control she's fine.

I decided she'll have a familiar, but i gotta think more how i wanna do that bc considering it being part of her shadow magic and it being the hound of ill omen but working fanfic magic to make it a permanent summon that has a battle form.

also i'm thinking dhampir births = traumatic and if durge wasn't....durge they would have died. specifically i keep thinking of their claws ripping shit on the way out which is kind of a lot, but gives me the horrified at birthing feels so i'm into it.

Wren will struggle with how intense and vivid their thoughts get. They'll have the closest to what the Urges felt like, but not quite as strongly bc playing into "not strong enough blood connection to bhaal" type thing.

wren is going to be the quiet one of the two. they're a perceptive little fuck and tend to people watch. they're a little feral, but it's different from the feral they get when the urges be urging. there's no violence to their normal feral behaviors. they just sometimes act like a half-raised animal and spend a lot of time wildshaped as a wolf.

wren's best friends will be a pack of wild dogs and some of the stray cats. they'll get in trouble for sneaking some down to jaheira's secret place bc they'd find their way in pretty fucking quick and spend a lot of time with the animals down there. wren is jaheira's little freespirit. No locks can keep wren in or out. wren goes where wren wants.

like these two children will be opposites and some of it will be nature but also some of it nurture bc they're being raised in entirely different environments.

Wren will have SO much respect for life and death and treat corpses with reverence, but then Vera just. sometimes forgets that she's supposed to be treating corpses differently from the living, but all bodies have the potential to be alive or dead at any given moment and death just isn't permanent. plus just all the quirks the vampire spawn would have from their new status as the living dead.

[nolita-fairytale]

still into you | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | chapter one: thursday

summary: you, syd, marcus, and carmy return to where it all began: new york city, prompting you and carmy to think a lot about your past... and your future together. (four part series | follow-up to 'make my heart surrender)

warnings: lots of swearing, tooth-rotting fluff, use of she/her pronouns, the lightest of smut, no use of y/n, second person pov

word count: 5k

listen to: 91 - bleachers | now i'm in it - haim | bewitched, bothered, and bewildered - ella fitzgerald (playlist here)

a/n: re: the poll -- yall really said 'let this man be happy please!' and i love that for us. if you voted for the other fic, i want to reassure you that i will be writing that one right after this! please enjoy all of the fluff and joy of this four chapter fic. i also feel like i potentially robbed us of a smut scene so... anyone interested in a bonus smut scene as a companion to this chapter?

Thursday 

“Alright, guys. We only have a few hours to get our day one prep done. I’ve outlined a schedule for today so that we’re as efficient as possible. Tomorrow’s gotta go smooth, alright?” Carmy instructs, laying out the day. 

You listen intently, marveling at your boyfriend in-action. He’s so fearless when he’s in his element, and being back in New York just seems to bring back all the memories of how you met. It’s like you’re twenty seven again, huddling up for a pre-shift meeting, led by recently-promoted wunderkind CDC, Carmen Berzatto. 

Only, you’re not twenty seven anymore and Carmy is the love of your life. 

“I’m gonna start with the mise for our beef dish, so Syd, can you get working on our signature veal stock? I think we should work with one in the pressure cooker just in case we get short on time and have a back up,” Carmy directs, an intense determination filling his eyes. 

He looks from Sydney to Marcus, before continuing his orders. 

“Marcus, I need you to start on the ice cream today, chef. I ordered us some liquid nitrogen if we need to make more on the fly, but I’d really prefer not to.”

And then it’s your turn, and boy, do you love to watch him work. You have to fight the corners of your lips from curling into a broad grin because you know now is not the time. 

“And lastly, I’m gonna have you work on the pasta. My goal is for us to get all of the agnolotti assembled today, so I’ll jump in when I wrap up with my mise to help you with that, yeah?”

“Heard,” the three of you answer in unison. 

Everyone’s got their game faces on because this is a big deal. 

The biggest, actually. 

Representing The Bear at the James Beard House is more than a big deal – it’s an honor. Only a handful of chefs get invited to cook here per year, and after a little fancy footwork in terms of scheduling, the four of you were finally able to agree on a date with the famous organization. You’re more than elated to be a part of the team, even if you aren’t working at The Bear anymore. 

The four of you quickly busy yourselves with setting up your stations. You only have a few hours to accomplish a whole lot of prep, and the pressure sits heavily on each of your shoulders. Tickets to the dinner had sold out within the first hour, which, after all the press, accolades, and media attention the restaurant had earned over the last few years, hadn’t been a huge surprise.

“Think you can keep up, chef? Don’t tell me you’re gettin’ rusty on me,” Marcus quips, already starting the playful trash talking early.

You let out a laugh, before challenging him in jest.

“Damn, Marcus. Hasn’t been that long. Bet I can still kick your ass on a ‘beat the clock’ mise, chef.”

“Oooooh. Shots fired,” Sydney calls out, joining in on your friendly banter.

“Challenge accepted,” Marcus shoots back, almost instantly. 

And then you’re scrambling to get as many prep containers and a kitchen scale, as you race your friend and mentee, all in good fun. 

You’ve missed this. 

It’s only been a few months since you started your new job – a culinary education director at a startup intent on building more sustainable food systems. While your heart would always be at the restaurant, you’d been ready to take on new challenges. The salary pay and benefits didn’t hurt either. You were happy taking a grown-up job, craving a little more stability and normalcy – and so that you and Carmy could stop paying out the ass for health insurance. Besides, you were still working with food. It just looked… well, a lotta different these days. 

You’ve missed the fast pace of the kitchen, your people, and Carmy’s desire for excellence, but it’s not like those things have left your life either. You still have them. 

After you’d left the restaurant, Marcus had taken over as the head pastry chef. In the last few months, you’ve watched him mentor and inspire a new group of wide-eyed, green, chefs-in-the-making, which had made you prouder than you’d ever have the words for. 

You can smell the sharp-allium scent of onions, as Syd quarters them for her stock, and while you have several cartons of eggs and 00 flour, Marcus has gathered all the milk that you’d just purchased for today’s prep.

“Behind,” Carmy says. He passes you by with a few 5 qt storage containers stacked, as he hugs them to his body with one arm. 

You feel his other hand place the gentlest touch on the small of your back as he leans in and whispers in your ear, “It’s good to have you back, chef.” 

You smile, turning your head just enough to lean back to look at him. 

“It’s good to be back, chef.” 

He presses the gentlest, slow kiss to your lips, and it feels like time stops for a moment. As he pulls away from you, there’s a small smirk on his face as Sydney shouts, “Oh get a room, you two!” 

“If we had the time…” he murmurs quietly, planting one more soft peck onto your lips. His face is still only inches away from yours. You giggle in response, the tender moment filling your heart with warmth. 

“Speaking of time… I just bought Marcus a head start,” Carmy teases, your jaw dropping as soon as you realize what he’s doing. 

You pull away from him, your head snapping towards Marcus’ direction to see that he’s already filled a 5 qt container to its capacity with one portion of the milk. 

“Seriously? Damn it, Carmy!” you cry out, shaking your head. “This is sabotage!”

You hear Marcus laugh in the background and as Carmy walks away with a cheeky feeling of accomplishment. You shake your head in disbelief. 

“Sorry, babe. You can deal with a little hazing, yeah? Since you’ve been gone for so long. Gotta give my guy a head start. ‘S only fair.” 

“You’re such a dick,” you scowl, scrambling to catch up. 

Oh it is so on. 

*

By the time you’re done with your day one prep, the four of you head to the hotel. Luckily, it’s only a five minute walk away, and you’re grateful that the James Beard Foundation chose to partner with one so close. The four of you pull your suitcases down the streets of Greenwich Village, before arriving at the luxurious, vintage-inspired hotel. 

You’re eager to get up to your room, as you haven’t had a shower, nor a time to take a break since you all arrived. 

“Woah…” Carmy says, his brilliant blue eyes scanning the high end hotel room. “You sure we can afford this?” 

You chuckle, “I think uh… they have a partnership with the James Beard Foundation, which is the only way I can answer your question with a ‘yes’ without having to tell you that we have to sell an arm, a leg, and our first born.” 

He shoots a half smile in your direction before letting out a whistle as he looks around. The floor to ceiling windows feel way outside of anything you could afford, as Carmy spots the French doors that lead right out onto a terrace. As you continue to explore the rest of the room, you spot a huge tub in the bathroom – something you’re very eager to take advantage of. 

“Power nap?” you ask Carmy, setting down your suitcase in the middle of the room. 

You’ll put your things away later.

“Fuck yeah,” he agrees eagerly.

You’ve barely put your book bag down before you’re both stripping off your jeans and climbing into the perfectly made hotel bed. After spending the morning traveling, you, Sydney, Marcus, and Carmy had gotten off the plane at JFK and gone straight to the James Beard House in Greenwich. Not only had Carmy been antsy to see the kitchen and get a head start on prep, you hadn’t been able to check into your hotel till this afternoon. You’re both spent, and you know that Carmy’s been running himself ragged preparing for this once in a lifetime opportunity. He hasn’t been sleeping all that well either– his thoughts consumed with nailing down the perfect menu, while paralyzed with indecision.

His quest for perfection had made him irritable over the last few days. You could see that the pressure was getting to him. His appetite was down, he was picking fights with you about small, unnecessary things at home, and pushing Sydney (sometimes a little too hard) at the restaurant. 

But today, he seems a little more in control of his feelings, and it puts him a little more at ease now that you’re finally in New York. He knows he’s been driving you crazy all week, and now that you’re all here, he’s hoping he can relax a little. 

Now that you’re here, in the city. 

Now that the dinner is only a day and a half away. 

You’re hoping he’ll slow down at some point too – give himself a little time to enjoy how big of an accomplishment this is. At least by the end of the weekend. Frankly, you’re glad you’ll have Saturday to enjoy the city without any pressure. 

For all of your sakes. 

You’re surprised that Carmy falls asleep with you during your late afternoon nap. He’s been so wired, so high strung lately, but you’ve just been waiting for him to come back down. Now that it seems like he is, there’s no way in hell you’re going to wake him up. You’re curled up together when you wake, your back pressed against his chest, his arms enveloping you. It feels almost impossible to pry yourself out of his arms without waking him up, but his deep slumber confirms your suspicions and you’re more than willing to let him continue sleeping. It takes a few tries to slip out of his embrace, but you do, and it’s off to the bathroom to get ready for dinner.

You try to make as little noise as possible, but by the time you're out of the shower, and your hair has been blown dry, Carmy’s up. You can hear the hotel TV on as you exit the bathroom and see he’s put his jeans back on. He’s perched on the edge of the bed, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. You notice that the dark circles under his eyes that have accumulated over the years seem to sit heavier this week, as his eyes flicker over towards you.

“Damn, my girl’s got style,” he compliments, checking out your all black-ensemble. “We really are back in New York, huh?”

You nod, grinning at his sweet compliment, as you sit down to slip your white sneakers on. 

“You meetin’ up with Liz and Maya tonight?” he asks you. 

“Yeah. Syd’s gonna join for a bit before her thing. She should uh… be here any minute, actually.” You begin tying up the shoelaces of one of your shoes, before slipping the other one on. 

“You sure you don’t want to come?”

“Nah I-, I'll see ‘em tomorrow right? But tell ‘em I say ‘hello’.”

“Of course. I think they’re both really looking forward to seeing you.”

You check the time on your phone making sure you have enough time, before you make your way to where Carmy sits on the edge of the bed. 

“What’re you going to do tonight?” you ask, curiously, stopping so that your body is right in front of his. 

“Well Marcus is staging at per se so… I’ll probably just hang out. Order room service or pick up a sandwich across the street. I wanna run through all this shit so tomorrow goes as well as it can,” Carmy answers, waving his notebook at you. 

He’s like a man possessed, but it’s one of the many reasons you love him. You pull the notebook out of his hands tossing it somewhere on the bed behind you. You place your knees on each side of his hips, before settling down on top of him. 

“Think you can relax a little tonight?”

He pulls you in, his arms moving over your hips. Carmy leans in, placing a small kiss against your glossy lips. 

“Think you can help me with that?”

You giggle in response, twisting your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck.

“I think… that could be arranged.”

Before anything too spicy can happen, there’s a knock at the door and you know it’s Syd. Carmy groans as you pull away, falling back onto the bed with a sigh of defeat. You climb off of him, heading to answer the door. 

“Hey, you ready?” Sydney asks, as you greet her. 

“Yeah, let me just grab my phone,” you reply, stepping aside to let her in. 

As she enters the hotel room, Carmy’s sitting up. With his feet planted firmly on the ground, he leans over, resting his forearms on his legs as he runs a hand through his messy curls. 

Sydney looks from you to a somewhat pouty Carmy, as if she knows she interrupted something. 

“Staying in tonight, Carm?” she asks him, as you gather your things. 

“Yeah,” he grumbles, and you can’t help but notice how tired he looks. 

Sydney rolls her eyes in response, “Don’t worry. I’ll have her back by nine.”

“Alright, I’m ready,” you say with a smile as you address Sydney. 

“You guys have fun,” Carmy nods, with a half assed wave.

“Don’t work too hard, boss,” Sydney adds, as the two of you turn to leave. “Oh and Carmy. You’ve got a little…” She gestures towards the lipstick you’ve left on his face. 

You laugh in response, and as you close the door, Carmy can hear Sydney’s ‘oh my god, you two are like rabbits’ comment in the distance. 

Carmy allows himself to fall back on the bed, reaching above his head to grab his notebook again. He’s honestly grateful to have a night to himself. He’s never been much for going out, or big social events, so having a night in feels like a good kind of calm before the storm – especially because the next few days will be full of social interactions. He’d always found New York City a little overstimulating. 

Between the dinner and the reception on Saturday, Carmy felt like he was collapsing under the enormous pressure – his only out being excellence. It’s not just the fact that being invited to cook at the James Beard house was a once in a lifetime opportunity, but there’s important business to announce here too. And then there’s the social aspect of it all, and he can’t help but feel like there are high expectations: from the food world, his reputation, your old friends from New York. And he wants to make everyone happy – he wants to impress them all. 

Something about being back here, and being back here with you, has him caught up in his head about it all. This is where you’d met. It’s also where he’d been at his lowest – right before Mikey died. So much has changed, and Carmy feels too large for his old battlefield.

Because that’s what it had been for him: a battlefield. 

A battle for his mental health, to rise to the top of the New York City fine dining scene, fighting with his feelings for you. 

Over the last two years, he had learned that he didn’t have to fight every single damn day. Some days he could just… be – be himself, whatever the fuck that meant, be a friend, and be with you. It felt strange – familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Being back here makes him somehow feel like the total loser he was six years ago when he first arrived in NYC… and a completely different person at the same time. 

While he was over the moon when he got the call from the James Beard Foundation, he also couldn’t fight this uncomfortable feeling that’s been sitting in his stomach all week long. Carmy had never quite been able to come to terms with the whole ‘celebrity’ aspect of the food world. He knew what he could do in the kitchen. That was unquestionable. But the rest of it – the networking, the celebrity chef circles – was the part he felt most unsure about.

Ever since Sydney’s Rising Star win, he’d let her take center stage with her rising visibility in the culinary world. Actually, he’d been grateful that she was so good at it – that it seemed like she enjoyed the part of the job he hated. There was someone to take the pressure off of him – someone who thrived in front of the camera so that he didn’t have to. But he knows at some point this weekend, he’ll have to face the music. 

There were big changes coming to The Bear. 

*

It didn’t take long after the initial introductions for your friends to fawn over Sydney. They were more than happy to meet your friend they’d heard all about, and the incredible chef who was shaking up the Chicago food scene. 

“Well I’m glad to hear that some things have changed and that working with Carmy’s not a total nightmare any longer-?” Liz concludes your conversation about the restaurant, earning an eye roll from Maya and a laugh from both you and Sydney.

“Oh no it’s still tough sometimes,” Sydney says back. “He has his days. We all do.”

“Liz!” you protest, in regards to the Carmy-bashing.

“What?! You didn’t have to work directly under him back then!” she defends herself, before clarifying with Sydney. “And in his defense, Sydney, it was really our exec chef who was the real nightmare.”

“Oh she works directly under him, alright,” Maya jokes, raising an eyebrow at you. 

“And sometimes on top of him, and also-,” you quip back, ready to play along.

“Oh my god, you’re out of control and I am sick of you!” Sydney exclaims with a laugh in reference to your crass comment.

“So tell us more about the new restaurant,” Maya prompts, refocusing the conversation back to Sydney’s previous reveal.

Sydney tells your friends about The Bear’s plans to expand, and shares ideas she has that even you haven’t heard from Carmy yet. As she wraps up her story, she realizes what time it is, meaning that she’s gotta head uptown soon. She really only was supposed to stay for a glass of wine, but meeting your friends has been so fun that she’s lost track of time. 

“Shit. I have to head out,” she says. “But I’ve really loved meeting you guys. You’re coming to the dinner tomorrow night, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Absolutely.”

“And the reception!” you add gleefully, so glad you get to see your best friends three days in a row. 

“It’s been really great meeting you, Sydney,” Liz says, shooting you a look of approval. She squeezes your hand under the table momentarily, before saying, “Thanks for taking care of our girl. She speaks so highly of you.”

“Where are you off to next?” Maya asks, excitedly. 

“Syd’s got dinner plans,” you answer, waiting for Sydney to provide more detail.

“Yeah, I uh-, I got invited to one of the To Be Hosted events and it just worked out that we’d be in town for this the same weekend,” Sydney replies, a glimmer of excitement flashing through her eyes as she shares.

“Damn, you got invited to a supper club?” Liz marvels. “Okay!”

“Yeah because she’s a rockstar,” you cheer your friend on, saying it so matter of factly that even a stranger would believe you. 

You all say your goodbyes to Sydney before ordering food. It feels so good to be back in the city, back here with some of your best friends. Maya and Liz had been the friends that held you up, and you them, when you lived here. While you had met Liz at your last job, a sous chef under Carmy’s leadership, Maya worked in fashion and the two of you had become fast friends after meeting through an ex-boyfriend. Once you introduced the two of them to each other, the three of you had been inseparable ever since. 

They had always been your biggest cheerleaders – especially when it came to you and Carmy.

“She’s great,” Maya says, in reference to Sydney. 

“Right? I’m so excited for her. This is a huge deal: create her own menu, a chance to run kitchen without Carmy…” you agree, feeling deep satisfaction over the amazing people you have in your life. “We’re announcing the big news at the dinner tomorrow.”

“Speaking of, how is our favorite guy? What’s he up to tonight?” Maya asks, guiding the conversation back to Carmy. 

“I told him he could come but I think he wanted to stay in tonight. I think he needs some time to decompress. He’s been pretty high strung all week,” you answer. 

“Carmy? High strung?” Liz asks back sarcastically, earning a laugh from you.  “I’m kidding! I really am looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. 

Maya shakes her head, before taking a sip of her glass of wine. She’s always adored Carmy, but knows that Liz has a different relationship with him, having worked as a line cook. 

“You guys are… getting serious, huh?” Liz asks, glancing over at you. 

“Um.. I think those two were married after their first coffee date,” Maya adds. 

“It was not a date!” you insist, shooting her a look. 

Liz lets out an unconvinced laugh, and you accept defeat because you know they’ve always been right about you and Carmy. 

“Maya, don’t forget. Our girl is and has always been the Queen of Denial,” Liz adds, winking in your direction. 

“Oh ha-ha. You guys are so funny,” you reply dryly. You nod, thinking about you and Carmy’s relationship over the last few years. “Yeah uh… it’ll be three years in the Fall so… you could say it’s getting pretty serious.”

Your friends are beaming back at you in response to your admission, and while you’d love to spend all night talking about how head over heels you are for Carmy, you’re also kind of ready to shift the attention off of you and your relationship. 

“Enough about me. What’s going on with you guys?” you change the subject. 

It feels so good to catch up with your girl friends. You all agree to make it an early night. While Maya’s husband had agreed to put their kid to bed, she wants to make it home in time anyways. Liz has a date later, and before you know it, you’ve wrapped up dinner and are walking back to your hotel. You send Carmy a quick text, because you’re only a few blocks away. 

You: On the way back. 

New York City has always been so inspiring to you. The city itself feels alive – like there’s an electric undercurrent that always makes you feel so full. There’s never a dull moment, and it feels as if the potential for a wild adventure is always around the corner. It’s also the place that you and Carmy met, all those years ago. It’s funny. The version of you that met him six years ago never could’ve predicted this: that you’d actually get to be here together, after almost three years of loving each other fiercely. 

Your friends were and always have been right about you. 

Back then, you were Queen of Denial and even then, Carmy had been your king. 

But you’re here now: in the city you met in, stupidly in love with the man you’d met six years ago who had seemed terrified to merely have a conversation with you. 

Your phone buzzes in your hand, interrupting your trip down memory lane, as you peek at the text you just received. 

Carmy: Went out for a walk and a smoke. 

You type back a quick, yet short reply. 

You: Love you. 

When you return to the hotel room, you enjoy the quiet of the evening. It still feels like spring in NYC, so you open a window because it just feels too damn good outside. No wonder he’d gone for a walk. You kick your shoes off, placing them gently by the door, before stripping off your jacket and heading into the bathroom. 

As you pull your hair up and out of your face, piling it into one conglomerate on top of your head, you eye the large bathtub you’d admired earlier.  Not only are you in need of a relaxing soak, but you’re hoping you can persuade Carmy to join you – maybe even help him destress a little. You don’t think twice about it, as you strip off all of your clothes, sliding on one of the fluffy robes that the hotel has provided. You flip on the hot water, the sound of rumbling water against tile hitting your ears.

There’s a bath soak in a glass jar that you find on the bathroom counter, before adding it to the increasingly hot water. While it looks like a mixture of some kind of soak and epsom salt, large bubbles begin to form underneath the rapid stream of the faucet, and you inhale deeply. 

Lavender. Vanilla. Chamomile, maybe?

The smell puts you at ease and you can feel your shoulders melting away from your ears. 

It’s not long before Carmy returns, the bathtub is almost at its capacity and the bath soak that you put in the hot water has bubbled up and blossomed into large, sudsy configurations. You’ve put on a jazz playlist, the sounds of Ella Fitzgerald filling the small space as you hum along. 

“Babe?” Carmy calls out to you, as you hear the front door close behind him. 

“I’m in here,” you call to him, turning the volume of your phone down a few levels. . 

You hear a shuffle of shoes, before he’s peeking around the door frame, his eyes lighting up as soon as he sees you. He knows it’s silly. It’s not like he’s been able to be very present over the last week, and it begins to dawn on him that he’s missed you.

“How was your walk?” you ask softly. 

“Good.”

He looks around the bathroom, the air thick with humidity from the hot water. You turn the faucet off, as you’ve now filled the tub to its capacity.

“You look comfy.”

“I am. It’s a very comfy robe.”

You wait a beat before preparing your ask.

“Big tub,” you entice him, gesturing towards the bubble bath that awaits you. 

“Yeah?” he asks, a half smile on the edges of his lips as he takes a step towards you. 

“Big enough for two,” you nod, making your case. 

It’s all the convincing he needs. You’re removing your robe, leaving your bare body on display for him to see, and soon enough, he’s stripping down and climbing into the bathtub with you. You share an awkward laugh as the two of you clumsily figure out how to position yourselves for optimal comfort. Your back is pressed against his chest, and you’re truly in awe of the large bathtub that somehow holds the both of you.

It becomes progressively easier for Carmy to relax. Between the hot water, and your naked body pressed against his, thoughts and worries about tomorrow begin to slip away. The two of you enjoy the quiet intimacy between you, the soft sounds of your favorite jazz standards, and Carmy’s lazily dragging his fingertips across any bit of exposed skin that he can.

You lean your head back against his shoulder, and Carmy buries his face in the crevice where your neck and shoulders meet. 

“Why don’t we do this more often?” he asks, in between leaving a few slow-paced, soft kisses across your shoulders. 

“Hm?” you hum in response. From the way his mouth and hands move across your body, and the silky feeling of the hot water, you barely have a thought left in your head.

“This whole… bath thing,” he clarifies, exhaling a deep sigh. 

This may be the most relaxed he’s felt all week and he likes that you seem to be enjoying this too.  

“Probably because we have a tub that I can only assume was built for a small show dog,” you joke. 

He laughs dryly. 

“Fair enough.”

Carmy waits a beat before speaking again, enjoying how his mind has quieted for the first time in days.

“Let’s put it on the list… for when we’re ready to move to a new place,” he suggests, quietly. 

“Somewhere with a big tub?” you ask, only sort of surprised by his request. 

“Yeah.”

You turn your head to look at him, as Carmy presses a searing kiss to your lips. You feel his hand snake between your legs and you begin to understand exactly why he’s enjoying this whole bath thing. 

“As much as I’m enjoying this…” he whispers against your lips. “Think you maybe want to get out of this tub…”

Another kiss.

“… dry off…”

You slide your tongue against his as his fingertips move higher up your inner thigh, earning a hiss of pleasure from you. 

“…not put our clothes back on?”

And then he’s swallowing your moans in his mouth, as he continues his exploration. Your head is spinning, and it’s not just the hot water that makes you feel as if your soul was set aflame.

“Yes.”

*

The next morning, you wake up alone. On the bedside table there’s a note in Carmy’s scratchy handwriting that reads:

Couldn’t sleep. Went to Chelsea Market. Love you.

You let out a frustrated sigh. Last night had been incredible but you also knew it’d be back to the grind today. While you’re excited for him – and for tonight – you’re also kind of ready for this to be over. You’re ready to have your boyfriend back.

read: bonus smut scene | chapter two

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila

[fullcry]

*knocks on your askbox* hostage/creature vash au?? may i ask for more details please 👀👀👀

You may!

So, I've had this fic outlined for a while but I wasn't going to work on it until maybe the end of May? I wanted to finish Memories on Film and Biology first, then make more progress on Love and Peace and Gunsmoke.

BUT. @zeearts had to go and create this incredible creature!Vash design and it just got my brain spinning all sorts of gears and now I'm back to dabbling with the Hostage AU!

Basically, the story goes something like this:

Meryl grows up in a rural town without a plant whose primary trade is worm hunting. They've got industrial production going, trading their goods for water from July and other essential resources. There's problems in the town, and being close to July they are firmly within the thrall of the Eye of Michael (except Meryl, ofc, because our girl is Smart and Knows a cult when she sees one).

Well one day Meryl gets chosen as a sacrifice and she gets taken to July where she's put in service to Knives and Conrad as sort of a glorified maid/caretaker to this strange creature Knives proclaims is his brother. Meryl doesn't know what's going on and the whole things seems hella sus and what the fuck is this bird thing huddled in the corner, but she does what she's told and pretends to be a Meek Believer while she tries to figure out how to bust out.

Meanwhile, in the background:

Knives, unable to forcibly control Vash's gate, has proceeded with his "Destroy the Parasites" master plan using the Eye of Michael to start a holy war while he hopes that giving Vash a little of what he wants--a human companion--will weaken his resolve and/or give Knives something to hold over him so he can gain some kind of leverage in this battle of wills with his brother.

Unbeknownst to Meryl Conrad is also plotting, secretly dosing her food with drugs to use her as Test Subject 1 in his plan to create part-plant humans. He hopes that he can secretly dose the water supply he controls to get the drug out to the masses and create hybrid humans that might stand a chance of surviving Knives' war and win a place in his Eden.

Wolfwood, the one responsible for capturing Vash and bringing him to Knives, is also skulking around Knives' lil July penthouse. They've got a baby Livio hostage they're using as leverage and Wolfwood wants his lil bro back and is making his own plan to bust him out while Knives and Conrad are distracted with their war.

Back to Meryl.

Our girl slowly befriends dear Creature!Vash, locked away in his lil plant-proof chamber. He's half-delusion from Knives' mind-fuckery, and through kindness and patience Meryl slowly brings him back to himself.

One day Meryl and Wolfwood meet, and together they strike up a plan to bust everyone out--her, Vash, Wolfwood, and Livio. But things don't go according to plan...

I've been dabbling with it a bit the past few days, though I'm TRYING to stick to the goals I set for myself as much as possible (I have a Patreon now and I'm trying to stick to an actual schedule!) but you know how inspiration can be <sob> It controls me I don't control it.

Speaking of Patreon, for anyone interested I'll be posting WIP snippets of this fic and other ideas this upcoming week on my page!

[0owhatsamsays]

I think I am the only one who doesn't see what others see in Aziraphale's expressions in the elevator. We've seen him through a lot of emotions. He was in love, angry, determined, confused, happy, sad, excited, hurt, etc. But none of his previous facial expressions were similar to the ones in the elevator. This, for me, is not Aziraphale. I am sorry, don't come at me. I am not underestimating him. I know he is intelligent and perfectly capable of plotting a master plan to bring them all down. Unfortunately, I don't believe this is the case.

No matter how many times I watch this scene, I don't see it. What I see is Aziraphale going from Aziraphale to something else. And I often find myself not seeing what others see in Good Omens and what might happen next, so I am going to lay out how I see it because I feel the need to do it (because I can't stop thinking about GO... HELP), even when I know, that many won't agree with me, mostly because it includes theories, which many people dismiss. Also, some theories of my own, that I haven't seen anyone talk about.

I am going to start with the thing that I feel like we intentionally ignore, because it hurts thinking what impact it can have, or it had. The erased memories and Book of Life. They aren't just thrown out there to build S2 and then dropped. Especially knowing that S2 is a bridge between S1 and S3. I would even call it an outline. Cut here, so I don't spam, continuing below the cut

How I see it: This is something Heaven has done for ages. After the fall, there were others, for sure. You can't convince me it was only these angels and then no other angel ever rebelled. But as Metatron said, it will look like an institutional problem if they send them all to hell, especially after the fall. But they found a way to solve this problem. Erase their memory, demote them, and start over. Rewrite, rewrite, rewrite.

They were going to demote Gabriel to 38th scrivener!! Gabriel, the supreme archangel. If they can do this to him, nothing can stop them from doing it to others. And not only that. They have the power to erase you completely, but this will be noticed. They call it "extreme sanctions". It's extreme, and therefore - noticeable, so they just overwrite them.

I don't believe the coffee theory. I think it's just symbolic. The almond tree is part of a psalm where God shows the almond tree and says "if you see it, you know I watch", which is explained as: he also judges if you follow him and I think the almond is something like a test - if Aziraphale likes it, then he is still on God's side. And here comes my... I wouldn't even call it a theory, but rather fan fiction (it's my fan fiction, which I am writing right now, but it's possible to have been just like this) Crowley and Aziraphale knew each other before the fall. Aziraphale was Jophiel. She was blond with blue eyes, one of the most beautiful angels, she disliked confrontation, but she had a flaming sword, and she was the companion of Metatron.

She and Crowley (then Barachiel /don't hate me/) were really close, but Metatron, the companion of Jophiel, didn't like that, because Barachiel was a "bad influence". Jophiel started to question Metatron's actions. Metatron erases Jophiel's and Barachiel's memories. Jophiel becomes Aziraphale.

But something draws Aziraphale to one particular angel - Barachiel. Somehow they always seem to find each other. They start getting close again, but then the fall happens and Barachiel falls with the rest. When he falls, any erased memories are restored, but not without an effort.

What he said to Gabriel about "looking at where furniture isn't" - when he fell, he probably had flashbacks of things he didn't remember doing, but he knew it was important to remember. Someone up there was worth remembering. He made an effort to remember and eventually, he did. He remembered Jophiel, and he realized what Heaven did.

After that, he wants to disconnect as much as possible from Heaven and he changes his name. Later, when he adds the "Anthony J.", he adds the J to honor Jophiel. This is the reason why he doesn't explain to Aziraphale what the "J" stands for. He doesn't want Aziraphale to know how they do things in heaven. If he tells him, Aziraphale will rebel and probably will be erased again, and Crowley cannot let this happen. This is also why he said to Aziraphale that he understands better than Aziraphale does. He knows, he remembers. 

However, it's too late. As always. Aziraphale is in Heaven and I think they are erasing his memories in the elevator. These expressions were not Aziraphale’s. BUT, now Aziraphale is more human than ever. He felt the strongest human feeling – love. And this love is so deep and long-lasting, that it cannot be erased. It’s coded into his being. You can’t just erase thousands of years. Metatron, you are not God. Don’t try to play God.

Aziraphale will constantly feel something is wrong with him. He will feel that he must be somewhere, he will feel that there is something wrong, he will feel like he must remember something very important. And in the meantime, Metatron will try to distract him with the Second Coming. It has to be started. Then there will be prophets and so on, I won’t go into details. But what about Crowley? Muriel?

Crowley will suffer, then suffer more, and then he will get angry. Really angry. We will see Crowley really bad. It will be sexy, I cannot wait. Bad and hurt. <3 I got distracted, sorry. So he will be angry and it won’t be towards Aziraphale. It will be towards Heaven, Hell, well, everybody. This will be his greatest mission. Nothing more important had happened to him, ever. He is alone, Aziraphale is in danger, the world is in danger and he is the one to save the day. Also, Muriel and the fact that it is said her other name is Abaddon cannot be irrelevant to the story, too. No way.

I have 2 or 3 theories on how it will go on from here, but I am not sure which one to pick. It became a really long post anyway, so I will leave the rest for either the fan fiction I am writing, or for a second large post.

[mintywolf]

A Long Road Home - Page 47 Author Notes

Page 47

The script originally called for Laudna to be braiding Imogen’s hair in the background of the last panel but I took it out because that’s apparently not a skill that Laudna has and also I wanted to finally make it clear that Imogen does actually live in the attic. But then I could not be stopped from putting Laudna’s own hair in braids, haha. The side braid with the white forelock strand (which she was introduced with even) is just too cute. Also Imogen’s hair being braided during her illness was probably what saved it from being cut for being too hot or a snarly mess so . . . idk somehow retaining her memories of Imogen in Darkstone caused Laudna to remember how to do a braid in this AU.

Additionally, in the second panel they were just going to be sitting there in companionable silence while Laudna writes in her notebook and Imogen looks out the window but a discussion on Discord last week about how exhausted Laudna must be inspired me to change it. Now she’s zonked out while apparently in the middle of reading aloud, finally able to let herself rest now that Imogen is well.

I have a little ficlet outlined set during this page about Laudna surreptitiously surviving on stolen kitchen scraps because she doesn’t want to impose on Relvin (who probably at least tried to offer her food at some point but she declined and now he’s waiting to see if she actually needs it and confirm whether she’s alive or not but by now it’s been a week or longer and it’s WAY too awkward to speak up about it now). Noticing that she’s acting weird, Imogen is at first concerned that she’s contracted scarlet fever from her but after pushing into her thoughts she realizes she’s actually just starving and goes to yell at her dad (and bring her some soup).

I like it but it doesn’t quite align with the rest of the comic canon because (mild spoilers) a large part of the second chapter involves them trying to survive winter in the mountain wilderness after being driven away from their home, and there’s a whole subplot with Laudna reassuring Imogen that it doesn’t take much food or warmth to sustain her dead self (so please take it I insist) and Imogen not realizing that this is less true than she’s telling her until she finds memories of being cold and hungry in her thoughts. So that realization wouldn’t make sense if she’d already eavesdropped on her mind and found her hungry.

This is Neighthan!

We found him at a yard sale?? The seller told us that her dad had made him by hand as well as others for all the kids in the family. I can’t imagine wanting to sell such a treasure but that’s how he came to be here. He gets dressed up for the holidays.

(Now, the real question is, does this mean Chetney has been to Gelvaan?)

[slocumjoe]

Hello! This is a little out of the blue, but I'm outlining the last third of a big fallout 4 fic (this one, if you're curious), and I'm tying up all the companion character arcs. Its going fairly well... except for Danse.

I've been waffling back and forth about what he'd finally end up deciding to do with himself after being kicked from the Brotherhood. I've had him work with both the Railroad and Minutemen, drifting through their causes. He's helped out Goodneighbor to make amends for his past. Months of drifting and slow healing.

But as we reach the end, I'm not sure where he'll settle in at last. I'd even considered him rejoining as Elder of a reformed Brotherhood but that feels... wrong, after everything he's been through. Some bridges can't be rebuilt after they're burned.

So I thought I'd ask you since you've got a good read on the pulse of his character.

I don't suppose you have any insights to share for me? Thanks ahead of time if you do, and no problem if you don't!

uhmmm okay SO

This depends so strongly on like...what Sole is doing, or how you personally set up your story. I've seen basically one of two scenarios

The gang sticks together

The gang separates and goes back to what they were doing

I HAAAAAATE option 2 I hate it I hate it I hate it. It's not for me.

So, personally, my lil world has the gang all kind of be wanderers who were always trying to find their place in the world. That's a common theme with literally everyone except maybe X6 and Gage bc they're bitches but whatevaaa

Danse has a handful of motivations he can have after Fuckery, but my favorite are

Understanding his own identity as what he assumes is NOT his own identity

Coming to terms with his actions under the bos

Coming to terms with the BoS as a deeply flawed organization

Still continuing his personal goals of protecting the wasteland (though the methods may change)

So, my timeline of post BB danse is as follows;

Danse isolates in LPB until someone comes and fetches him to bring him back to Sanctuary. His plan was to just stay there and figure out what to do next, but his plans very much involved isolation. Sanctuary conflicts with this. At Sanctuary, he volunteers for guard patrol to both continue his mission of protecting people and isolated himself, as having Power Armor means he doesn't need any backup, so he can just go off on his own. So, Danse stays to his patrols and functionally doesn't exist to anyone if he's not traveling with Sole. He begins treating himself as a machine, limiting basic needs. This is also where he worsens his alcoholism and begins dabbling with chems.

His mental health gradually slips into a genuine loss of reality, and the others begin to notice that, hey, Danse keeping to himself is not what we want, actually. Augustijn takes him to Spectacle Island for a vacation and they talk a lot of stuff out.

Once Danse begins the slow climb from Rock Bottom, the game plan (from everyone else, as they know he's not at the point where he can just spring back from everything alone) is to just keep him busy with something. MacCready takes him to the shooting range, Preston talks strategy and history and such, Nick has heart to hearts with him, Cait spars with him, so on, so forth. Much of Danse's After involves the others and their genuine efforts into becoming a community for him.

Eventually, he decides to join the Minutemen proper as a Power Armor technician, though he ends up manning them himself on the battlefield more often than not.

But that's just what I have.

You're asking where he settles.

And that's the thing.

I don't think Danse settles, in most stories.

Danse gets a firsthand look at what can happen if you trust too much in something. Whereas Preston never stopped believing, Danse has his whole reality shaken, and his faith in the Brotherhood very much rattles. In most stories, Danse is more likely to just stick alongside his friends, wherever they go, and not have his loyalty lie with an organization. This could mean he tags along with Nick. Maybe he does join the Minutemen. Most likely, he just moves into Sanctuary and does odd jobs, takes the armor out to defend wherever needs it.

Danse is more likely to end up as a lone wolf than people think. In most cases, it's not good for him, but it's where he goes. Danse wants community, but someone has to protect that community. They have to do the dirty work. That work takes you all over and it changes you. You have to keep your distance for their sake.

It all depends on what you want to write. The fact is, Danse is so confused and lost after the Brotherhood, he could end up anywhere. It's really up to whether or not you want it to be angsty and bittersweet, or have him genuinely heal and grow into himself. The drifting is almost always going to be the first option. But if you want a happy Danse, you'll find that in a world where Danse has people to look after who look after him.

The best outcome for him to just become part of a guard force for a community. Not DC, though, that'd be a sore spot. He just needs to know he's keeping people safe.

[barilleon]

Arcanolinguistics Companion Blog

Arcanolinguistics, my article about verbal components in spellcasting for 5e, is out today in MCDM's ARCADIA. Please check it out! This blog post is a small dive into what went into its creation. Today marks a milestone in my career: the best thing I've ever written by far, which serves as a love letter to 5e and the people who made it worth playing for me.

When I build a character for a TTRPG and there’s an option for a language-based skill or power, I take it. One of my first D&D characters, Thavma Sanguine, was built with the linguist feat, the spell comprehend languages, and the anthropologist background from Tomb of Annihilation. Thavma was—like me—young, curious, and desperate to connect with the people around her. After years of academic study, she was eager to put her skills to the test in the real world. Language was an extension of that.

Immediately upon her creation, Thavma was captured by drow and taken to the Underdark, where the prisoners all spoke different languages. She used her abilities to bring people who did not understand each other together, to hatch an escape plan that only worked because everyone was on the same page. The DM of that campaign (you might know him, his name’s Willy Abeel) picked up on the fact that I really enjoyed exploring the game world through language, and the rest of the campaign was full of little moments for Thavma to puzzle through bits of text or linguistic differences to move the story forward. From there, our shared table started to develop some interesting linguistic trivia, some of which you can read in the article.

Playing Thavma, who was also a Wizard, made me super aware of spellcasting components. Most of the time you don’t really pay attention to them, but I feel like there’s so much storytelling potential there. I wrote a blog post about getting the most out of material components once. After that I started wondering about verbal components. Thus the idea for Arcanolinguistics was born.

On Collaboration

As of its release, Arcanolinguistics is the best thing I’ve ever written. This is in no small part due to everyone who worked on it. At dinner the other day, Hannah and I rounded up how many people it took to make, before it ever even made it to playtesters: two developmental editors, two line editors, four cultural and sensitivity consultants, two artists, and two (haha) writers.

I never intended S.A.M. to be a co-author on the article. But when I sat down to write, actually take my messy outlines and notes and put them into something for somebody else, no words came. This happens often, and like every professional I’ve developed a toolbox for fixing it. Sometimes I will start my day with a writing warmup. A quick blog post, opinion piece, or stream of consciousness to get the words flowing. Like a warmup sketch, but with words. Since at the time S.A.M. was a student in one of my home games (at Thavma’s institution, no less!), I decided to write research notes from its point of view. The more I wrote, the more I realized that S.A.M. wanted to write the article. So I let it.

This work would not exist without MCDM, especially Hannah. I only pitched this article because I know that MCDM was the only place with the passion and the resources who would help me make this article what it was supposed to be. The pitch was a risk from the start. It needed heavy development, consulting, and playtesting, and right now for a freelancer like me MCDM is the only place that can make that happen. I cannot stress enough how much of a gift ARCADIA has been to my professional development. I learned a lot on this project, pushed myself, and made something I never would have without these resources.

Hannah was always there to hop on a call and talk over spell ideas or brainstorm ways to make effects work. A lot of the effects in the article are very different from their original ideas. Without Hannah, much of them would have been super overpowered, confusing, or just plain wrong. It’s hard to add a system like this on top of spellcasting and make it click, but I think we did it. She found not one but FOUR consultants to work with us. It was important to us to do this right, from the outline stage to the end.

Kathryn and Hakan provided amazing insight for the early drafts. I’m a hobbyist; I don’t know what I’m doing. But they helped me find the right words and guided my concepts in the right direction. Yes, they were consulting on my article, but it felt like my own personal crash course in all things language. I learned about a bunch of amazing linguistic concepts thanks to them. And though I didn’t get to work directly with Rogan or Basil, their notes and suggestions made this piece shine!

The testers at MCDM are unrivaled. They built a spreadsheet for every language and every official 5e spell that the language could possibly affect. They caught some edge cases that were devastating, and devastatingly funny. My favorite was the entry for casting ray of sickness in Goblin, which just read, "Ray of Vaccination?"

I offer both my awe and apologies to Sadie and Amber, for sending them a behemoth that was so large it took two editors to tame. The final product is clear and usable and flows great thanks to them. They’re the reason you can bring this to your table instead of just considering it abstractly. They’re also the reason we got the Dohma Raskovar joke on Orcish!

Speaking of, there is always Willy, the co-creator of the personal playground inside my head. I didn’t ask what he thought of the Dohma joke. Maybe I should have, considering Raskovar is his character, designed for Flee, Mortals! But after I sent the bit in to Hannah, I just told him I did it and he laughed. I got to turn a question about wording into a love note just for him.

On My Interest in Linguistics

Linguistics (specifically sociolinguistics and the history of language) has always been an interest of mine. I love reading about the origins of language, how it’s evolved over time, and how a language’s structure can shape its speakers’ way of thinking. I’m not an academic; I can’t elaborate on that. But I can point you to some people who can. People I read and watched whose work served as research and inspiration for this article include:

The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got That Way, by Bill Bryson Lingo and Babel, both by Gaston Dorren The Story of French, by Jean-Benoît Nadeau and Julie Barlow The Linguistics Crash Course with Taylor Behnke on YouTube Conlang 101 from David Peterson (creator of Dothraki) on YouTube My favorite ttrpg: Dialect, from Thorny Games (imagine my surprise and delight when Hannah brought on this linguistic duo to CONSULT for my article!!! Holy shit!!!) The Language Instinct, by Steven Pinker Exploring Language, a collection of essays compiled by Gary Goshgarian The Language of Thieves, by Martin Puchner Jews and Words by Amos Oz and Fania Oz-Salzberger Legends of Localization blog, run by Clyde “Tomato” Mandelin A Language Family Tree in Pictures illustration by Minna Sundberg, for The Guardian's "Case for Language Learning" series.

If TTRPGs can be power fantasy, then mine is being able to use many languages, to connect with and understand as many people as I can. Not just in the /comprehend languages/ way (which I’ve likened to Google Translate), but in the authentic way, where you start to get the jokes and nuances, where you can forge relationships and shift your own perspective. I’ve been studying French on and off for over a decade, but I wouldn’t call myself any good at it. It’s hard! I don’t have anyone to practice with, and I’m also super shy in real life about speaking foreign languages. That’s why I wanted to add a fail-forward mechanic for language learning in the article. I want to believe that even though I’m not a toddler anymore, and my adult sponge-like mind has been left for many years to dry by the sink of knowledge, that I can keep working at it and get there someday.

On 5e Design

When I turned in the final draft of this article, I thought it was going to be the last major 5e thing I ever worked on. This is because I turned it in in January 2023, and you remember what happened all those years ago. While things have worked out differently and I am still designing in 5e, I sought to “leave it all on the page” with this one. It is, in my opinion, the purest expression of my 5e design philosophy: it’s fanfiction all the way down.

I liken my career as a 5e designer to my experience as an incredibly niche fanfic author. I like finding the little cracks in canon and filling them in, adding nice little layers of things that could have plausibly happened within canon and supporting them with as much textual evidence as possible so that people reading can accept it as their own headcanon. I think these are important skills to have for a designer of someone else’s game, especially when there’s a lot of other third party material competing to be incorporated into your table.

I found a niche in the 5e system—spellcasting components could be cooler and tied more to the world—and I filled it. While language is very much setting-based, I tried hard to use as much textual evidence as possible when forming these concepts. Devils have forked tongues, elves live everywhere and can all understand each other somehow, the dwarvish writing system is by far the most common in use. So I hope these ideas can conform to your own table, too.

But if they don’t, remember that everything not discussed at your table (yes, even official material) is fanfiction. Take it or leave it! If your table’s world doesn’t have the same languages as the SRD, maybe you can still find a way to map my rules onto your world. Or maybe it’ll inspire you to write brand-new rules for your own languages. As a writer and designer of fanfiction, nothing would make me happier.

[melrosing]

your jaime essay is so chef’s kiss i can’t wait to read more and i wanted to bring up in relation to the lannister legacy the fact that jaime absolutely could be in the position to want revenge on the starks and the tullys given that he was their prisoner for like months. but still he doesn’t want it. like he absolutely could have fallen deeper down the nihilistic barrel but he didn’t??? it’s insane to me. i feel like the whole i don’t need/care for revenge is so important to jaime’s possible redemption. and it sets him apart from the lannister “rains of castamere” mentality bc it seems to me like he’s starting to think “well do we really have to pay all the debts. is that necessary is that constructive”. and it alienates him from tyrion and cersei too. sorry about incoherently rambling in your inbox your essay was just so compelling

thank you!! hopefully will post the second part in the coming week, it's just the biggest and most difficult bit lmao.... anyway, soon hopefully

but yeah I agree w you that despite what he says in his head, he's not really a revenge oriented character. in ASOS he basically outlines the characters he believes are owed vengeance:

And his enemies were waiting too; the Young Wolf who had beaten him in the Whispering Wood and killed his men around him, Edmure Tully who had kept him in darkness and chains, these Brave Companions. (JAIME IV, ASOS)

and then like. Robb: he ends up pitying the guy. Edmure: resents having to take any action against him at all, and practically sets up the guy's escape whether he meant to or not. the Brave Companions: he's literally repulsed by the violence that Clegane takes on Hoat. Jaime you suck at this

also true about him kind of pondering what 'recompense' is even supposed to look like, and I'm trying to articulate that a bit in the second part as I think he's a character who wants a reckoning, some judgement on what he's done and to be told what the price must be, but is struggling with the fact that really it's just up to him to change, not for anyone to tell him what to do or who he is. it's just DIFFICULT because he doesn't express his feelings nearly as clearly as the other POVs, everything is always beneath a layer or two of Jaime talking absolute shit, but I'm super intrigued about what that will mean for any confrontation with LSH. I think Jaime will honestly almost inclined to submit to her judgement.

anyway yes thanks again!!

[pianocat939]

Hey uh snow owl anon here....I got a hcs request! Uh how about...yandere princess cookie x shy gardener reader? Like they are the one who takes care of the flowers around the castle? Just curious what a yandere princess cookie would be like!

Also wanna say...I read your lychee fic and I really liked it! I personally think you wrote them very well! Don't underestimate yourself! You're doing great! Also when I request stuff...I'll try to ask for more hcs than fics...I didn't know you preferred hcs over fics...I'm sorry! Well I hope you have a wonderful day! Lots of hugs if you like hugs!

I’m happy you like the Lychee fic but I want to cringe when I read it haha.

Don’t apologize for requesting a fic. I just prefer them so my organization is better and so it’s clearer to read. I try to keep my hcs kinda like a Fic but also not. It’s basically formed like an outline of a fic.

When a Flower Wilts

Tw: Kidnapping/trapping, Somewhat force-feeding, This is short

• The sweet berry juice of love and the sturdy shield of the Mother Queen; all famous aspects of the Hollyberry Kingdom.

• Upon this grand kingdom is the royal family’s Princess. An adorable but adventurous cookie ready to protect her fellow cookies at any cost.

• It was a warm and buzzing day in the kingdom; a perfect environment to just spend time in the kingdom.

• Princess cookie wandered around the gardens, Knight cookie following closely behind.

• “Is it just me or are the flowers looking extra colorful today?”

• “Well they do look lively.”

• The duo commented on the flowers, unaware of the cookie deep inside the plants and bushes.

• “Those are the best one of this field.”

• A cookie raised their head out from the greenery, causing Knight cookie to yelp in surprise.

• “Augh! A criminal?!”

• “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!”

• The cookie buries themselves inside the plants once more, causing Princess cookie to lightly slap Knight cookie.

• “Don’t just call a random cookie a criminal!”

• “Apologies, Princess. It’s an instinct of mine.”

• “Hello? I’m sorry that my companion assumed you were a criminal! It was an accident!”

• Nothing answered Princess cookie’s call, only the distant chirps of the birds.

• Princess cookie huffs and sits down on a nearby bench, wanting to rest and enjoy the warm breeze.

• “Tomorrow.”

——————————————————

• The next day was gloomy, a light rain dribbling onto the rooftops of the usually bustling kingdom.

• In the royal garden, a cookie was enveloped by a thick cloak, shielding them from the rain.

• Their hands held some scissors and a small basket, snipping off brown-colored buds.

• Behind them, Princess cookie stood. Holding an umbrella with curiosity beaming from her eyes.

• “Hello, your majesty. What brings you here on this stormy day?”

• “I am here to enjoy your work. Even in such weather your flowers bloom brightly.”

• Y/n cookie smiled and showed the containments of the basket.

• “I make sure to snip off the dead ones, they take away the beauty of the rest.”

• “Oh I see! Well, it is raining quite harshly now. I should be getting back.”

• Princess cookie waved them goodbye, devising a dark plan in the meanwhile.

——————————————————

• Y/n cookie opened their eyes, groggy from their sleep. They look around, only to realize that they aren’t in their home.

• “H-hello? Does anybody know where or why I’m here?”

• “In our cabin silly.”

• Princess cookie entered the room, holding a tray of food. The cabin floors creaked as she approached.

• “Princess cookie?! What are yo- mph!”

• A spoon was forcefully shoved into their mouth, the hot broth almost burning their mouth.

• “Now now, I know you’re confused but first you need to eat. You’ve been asleep for a while now.”

• Before they could retort another spoonful invaded.

• “I brought you here so I could keep you from the other cookies. I didn’t want them to see your charm, only I can. I preferred to keep you in the royal chateau but since I’m not the Queen yet I couldn’t.”

• A bun was fed next.

“But, when I do become Queen you’re going to move in with me and rule the Hollyberry Kingdom. Of course, I won’t let you out for public events.”

• A few berries on a skewer stuffed your mouth.

• “You even said it yourself; ‘I make sure to snip off the dead ones, they take away the beauty of the rest’.

• You shouldn’t have cut off those wilted flowers, then maybe you would still have friends and family…

——————————————————

I’m still recovering from my horrible travel so apologies if this is kinda sucky. At least I got it done haha.

(Thanks for waiting)

- Celina

[is-the-rat-vid-cute]

I want to get a rat or a pair, your blog has been helpful to know care.

I was wondering how often can rats have strawberries, blue/black and raspberries?

And can rats be trained to wear harnesses and is it safe to have them on shoulders outside or would that be too much to process?

I’m glad you’ve been finding my blog helpful!! I’d definitely recommend getting a pair over a singular rat, rats are super social and need companions to be happy and healthy. Two honestly isn’t much more care than one!

All those berries are safe for rats in moderation! They’re pretty sugary though, so I’d stick to one blackberry-sized portion of fruits and berries per rat, per week. You could split this up into smaller pieces if you wanted to give it as a treat multiple times a week too. It’s fun experimenting to see what kinds of berries your rats like - mine don’t seem to care for blackberries, but they peel the skin off blueberries and eat the insides, leaving tiny piles of blueberry skin everywhere.

Unfortunately harness training rats isn’t super reliable. Their bodies are built to be able to squeeze through tiny spaces, so they can usually slip out of harnesses pretty easily. If they’re not able to squeeze through, chances are the harness is too tight and may be uncomfortable or dangerous for the rat. I also don’t recommend bringing rats outdoors for a variety of reasons that I’ve outlined in this post - there’s a lot of dangers for rats outside, and they don’t get much out of it since they’re prey animals. They tend to find it more scary than fun.

However, rats do love to hang out on shoulders and bringing them with you around the house (making sure not to let them in rooms with any other pets) can be fun! Washing dishes, watching tv, and folding laundry are all activities around the house that your rat may want to join you in :)

[sugar-phoenix]

this or that post

I wasn't tagged but @rownanisntwriting left their tag post open for anyone so I took it <3 you can find it here !!

historical or futuristic

I'm okay with research but I'm scared of estimating something from the past and some historian being like "actually you're wrong" so I would struggle (I already struggle when I write my victorian era fantasy settings {steampunk?} and have to think about things that I don't know about) -- futuristic kind of has that appeal of like we don't know what's going to happen in the future so I tend to write that more than historical.

opening or closing chapter

I LOVE WRITING OPENINGS I LOVE WRITING INTRIGUING OPENINGS -- to be honest I love writing intriguing closings to chapters as well, they both bring me joy but opening chapters bring me more joy. because i love writing a thought from one of the character's pov, and then switching to another character in the next chapter directly opposing that thought hahahaha it gives me so much joy and power and I love it so much~

light+fluffy or dark+gritty

Dark and gritty all the way, give me your angst, your monsters, your dark haired lover in the night. I wanna see pining, I wanna see two lovers on two sides of a war, I wanna see enemies fall in love with each other, I wanna see fights, I wanna see RAW. OPEN. WOUNDS.

animal companion or found family

I love animals and I'm not a huge fan of family (don't mind reading it, have a hard time writing it) so yeah. animal companion on this one. I actually love reading animal companions, especially when they can talk to the character, so yeah, would love to write that too.

horror or romance

Romance. All the way. I do love writing morbid things but honey I pretty much only read/write romance. I love building up the romantic tension, the relationship. I love reading it unfold before my eyes. ugh. romance. 💖

hard magic system or soft magic system

I like a magic system with clear rules on what you can and can't do, and I think that I like soft magic systems but I think I tend to write sort of.. hard-leaning magic systems since my brain wants to find a logical rule for everything. I don't like terrifyingly scientific magic systems that hurt my brain and take a long time to explain, but clear cut rules are nice (i honestly have no clue where the line is between a hard magic system and a soft magic system help)

standalone or series

I like both but to me the idea of writing a standalone is nice. A whole adventure, all the action, romance, and drama bundled up into one clean package. The plot would also be simpler/shorter too so... yeah idk it's just nice for me to think about I think I'd like to write one.

one project at a time or always juggling 2+

yeah uhhh i have a fanfiction, a main wip that I wanted to write but is now ultimately on the backburner due to me being too scared to try to outline it without figuring out the two magic systems which are a hell in themselves, and I might be dreaming up a new wip. so. yeah.

one award winner or one bestseller

Honestly I'd like an award winner but if bestseller gets me more acclaim and chances of my book being turned into a movie/show (which, make no mistake about it I will be watching their every move to ensure they do not butcher my masterpiece) then yeah I would take bestseller. Either is fine, though.

fantasy or sci-fi

yeah I don't hate sci-fi but I write and read fantasy WAY WAY WAY more. like almost only. fantasy. rarely do I read sci-fi nowadays, although it's not a hard thing for me to read/write. I just really like dark princes who rule over a magical kingdom, magical animals in a magical forest, etc. you get the point.

character description or setting description

I like both but I pay way more attention to character description than setting description. I'm sorry but flowery descriptions of characters get me so bad,, it might be because I'm an artist and I like making characters as pretty/quirky as possible so yeah. talk to me about how your ml has "silver blue eyes" or how your fl has "auburn hair."

first draft or final draft

I have not reached a final draft yet but I long for the day where I have and I look at all my work and think about all the work I've been doing over the past months (years??) and go "it's finally over." and then I have a whole manuscript that I can actually try to publish. like, getting to the "i'm ready to publish" stage is such a big goal for me.

love triangle in everything or no romantic arcs

yeah no. I'd rather have a series/book be entirely platonic than have a bunch of love triangles.

constant sandstorm or rainstorm

rainstorm!!!! i love the rain so much. ⛈️⛈️ I also love the ambience of thunder + flashing lighting

[sasukimimochi]

eurghhghgh this gets a little long but i'm not putting a read more line cuz i put TLDR at the bottom and i want that shown.

i'm starting to think uploading weekly is more difficult than i thought now that i'm trying to also work on other things during the week, i haven't had time to work on any of the companion fics for gom or any of my other projects, and i think GOM is suffering a bit for it [last week i did just basic sketches for the chapter bc i was struggling to get everything done in time]

and that means i also don't really have time to stream if i want to draw while you guys watch, since i stream for a few hours at least [the one i did the other day was about six hr, you can see the highlight reel here, since the vod will eventually be deleted as all vods disappear after like 7 days. i just trimmed off the start and end where i'm talking nonsense and saved that as my highlight reel. sorry about the audio being a bit funky for my mic i'll bring my laptop closer to me next time].

But also the biggest thing [on top of wanting to complete more chapters and make a buffer]: i really want to reread the entirety of Ghost of mine so i can check for errors or inconsistencies, all i could do last week was listen to the tts of 12-16 while trying to get a drawing for 17 prepared, and i couldn't fix all the errors i heard since i was just trying to fix the timeline errors as a minimum before posting the chapter. the extra time would give me more time to proofread Ghost of Mine carefully, as well as give the new chapters and art the attention it deserves. [and...actually take care of my irl self better, it's hard to find time for things like cooking and cleaning beyond what i do for the older man i live with].

So what i'm trying to say is although i didn't think i needed it before, i am changing my mind about it now. so i think it's a good idea for me to upload every two weeks instead of one...at least until i (hopefully) am able to catch up to the point of having stuff prepared ahead of schedule.

i swear on my god awful adhd that i will sit down with my sprint bot [a bot that times me and tracks my word count, not an AI], and write with no distractions at least once a day [unless i have things that i am forced to do and can't get to it, but i can get a lot done when i'm using the sprint bot to make myself focus]. So i will hopefully be making the two week change worth it by getting a lot done and being able to return to weekly updates when things are less cramped and there's stuff prepared properly ahead of time.

I hope that's alright with all of you, cuz i love working on gom it's just a lot for me to get done in a week with everything else i want to do!!

just imagine if i had more time i might be able to start posting TWPT along side gom [it's the jiang cheng lan xichen companionfic for GOM that i haven't had time to write as of late, i have it completely outlined but i just don't have time to write it anymore rn. check it out on the masterpost for my MDZS projects]. or the MXY companionfic as well, which i already started but i can't keep working on because of time as well.

basically there's a lot going on for gom besides the main fic that i haven't been able to get to and it just continues to get further behind in those aspects because i can't get the time for it. so really, i need those two weeks and i'm only just now admitting it to myself that i can't push out updates every two days like i used to and especially not now with these other projects and wanting to branch my stuff out more. There's so much i wanna do! lmao

TLDR; i want to change to bi-monthly updates for GOM so that i can increase my quantity and quality of all projects and future updates properly. I appreciate your amazing patience and i hope to make this change worth it!

i will always update you guys if i make changes like this. i can't leave the changes in your hands completely, but i will continue to upload on sunday since that's the day you guys like! expect the next GOM update on the 23rd instead of the 16th, and every two weeks from the 23rd.

[calciumcryptid]

Polarmare Series News

The Polarmare series rewrite is officially in progress!

After much debate, I have decided to scrap the plan for a rewrite of the series throughout their second year. I feel like it would just kind of make decisions made later on odd.

I am going to continue with my original plan, which follows the post-canon events of the kids in their second year dealing with their mental health and the newfound pressure on them. It will also deal with media presence as Polarmare is the Business and Marketing head for a reason, and the marketing side of heroics.

I have updated the summary for the Polarmare series on Ao3. Don't bother going to it as I am going to post the details here.

NEW SERIES SUMMARY

Nukilik Caulderfield, better known as Winter Warrior: Polarmare, is an international hero. She has been in the heroics gig for a long time, and it has lead her to travel all over the world. Unfortunately, superheroines don’t last as long as their male counterparts, so she has been preparing for her eventual retirement while making sure she can provide for her son.

Then her life changes once again as her agency brings to her attention a vacant position at Japan’s top hero school UA. She agrees, but as she starts to settle into her new job she finds there is more than meets the eye to the top school’s educational practices.

OR: The author rewrites Boku No Hero Academia through a very badass woman.

Series will follow Polarmare as she helps out the individual students of Class 1-A, with other side pieces detailing the aftereffects or Polarmare helping out fellow pro heroes.

NEW SERIES NOTES (+ Outline)

EXPOSITION Polarmare and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Hero School (Being Rewritten) - Nukilik Caulderfield starts her new job at UA, but finds out there is more then meets the eye to the top school's educational practices.

YAOYOROZU MOMO She Was Only Seventeen (Being Rewritten) - Yaoyorozu becomes the badass she is, with a little help. Make All Her Dreams Come True (In Progress) - Companion piece to She Was Only Seventeen detailing Yaoyorozu's work study with Fat Gum.

KAMINARI DENKI You're Like Lightning in a Bottle (Being Rewritten) - Kaminari Denki is struggling, and someone finally notices.

HAGAKURE TOORU Waiting for an Invite to Never Come Along (Being Drafted) - Hagakure is tired of being seen only for her quirk.

YAGI TOSHINORI I Used to Rule the World (Being Drafted) - All Might receives some hard truths from his new coworker.

OTHER NOTES

Ojiro Mashirao and Satou Rikkidou centric stories being drafted.

The plan for the Mineta Minoru, Bakugou Katsuki, and Midoriya Izuku stories being some of the last ones is still in place as I still have no clue what I want to do with them.

There will be potential crossover with @insomniac-jay ocs, where the kids go on internships and work studies with her ocs since I've been thinking about them and which canon characters they'd take on.

[delhimarriageregistrationsstuff]

5 Secrets of a Happy Marriage

Addressing how solid your relationship is?

Some time back I was perusing one of those articles about entertaining things kids say, and one of the children posed the inquiry, "How could a more peculiar let know if two individuals are hitched?" and he replied, "You could need to figure, in light of whether they're shouting at similar children."

Indeed.

That about summarizes it

Since however much we ponder the stroll down that long focus walkway wearing a lovely white outfit our own rendition of Wedding Day Barbie, with overwhelming joy in our heart the truth before long sinks in that occasionally marriage is hard. Furthermore, those gleaming 8 x 10 photographs from the big day that sit outlined on our shelves are the main thing that remaining parts of everything we could ever want of being the best hitched couple of all time. You realize that couple that sits clasping hands across the table at an

eatery while they toss their heads back in chuckling?

Now and again I can't stand that couple. In any case, here's 5 key things you can do to make a cheerful marriage and satisfying relationship for yourself as well as your accomplice.

This is a peculiarity known as genuine marriage.

It's not as beautiful and doesn't necessarily in every case fit extraordinary photograph operations, however assuming that you figure out how to embrace it you might view that as it's stunningly better than whatever you envisioned.

Indeed, it's more chaotic and loaded up with more disaster, chuckling, trouble, and bliss than you envisioned, however it additionally brings the solace of realizing you have somebody close to you to impart life to; every one of its victories and battles included.

5 Insider facts of a Cheerful Marriage

My better half and I have been hitched for sixteen years at this point. It hasn't forever been simple and I'm certain there have been days or even years when we doesn't know how we will come to the opposite side, yet we've shrouded it in a ton of supplications, requesting that God give us the strength and shrewdness and tenderness we want to endure one more day. And afterward one more year. What's more, until the end of our lives.

The following are a couple of things I've advanced en route:

Try not to Surrender to Correlation This was a major one for me. At the point when we initially got hitched we were companions with one more hitched couple that did everything together; like even went shopping for food as a unit.

What's more, it concerned me that we weren't that way.

To exacerbate it, I didn't believe that Perry should go out to shop with me yet I saw this couple and thought they had something we didn't. Also, they did.

In all actuality they delighted in working that way. It worked for themselves and they flourished in a relationship where they did everything together.

Be that as it may, Perry and I are both autonomous and like getting things done without help from anyone else at times.

We enjoy separate leisure activities and interests and that is not a problem.

Try not to see another person's marriage and allow it to characterize yours.

The grass isn't generally greener on the opposite side and your marriage is pretty much as interesting as your DNA.

What you accomplish may not work for others, but rather you're not hitched to others.

Settle on the decisions and carry on with the existence that is appropriate for you two and relinquished your assumptions of what marriage should resemble.

Trust me, you'll be such a great deal more joyful that way. Safeguard Your Time Together This one is so natural before you have children.

At the point when it's simply you two and you're allowed to head out to the motion pictures or eat calm meals that don't include chicken strips at whatever point you need, it's not difficult to remain associated.

Be that as it may, after you have messes with it requires somewhat more exertion.

Remember to cut out opportunity to spend all together.

Those children that can require up each moment of your time will be gone one day and you would rather not look across the table at a more odd mate's while you were caught up with driving carpool.

Carve out opportunity to sit on the love seat by the day's end and talk.

Exchange keeping an eye on with another couple or smooth talk the grandparents and have an evening out on the town.

Simply ensure you don't disregard the relationship that acquired you the children the primary spot. Eventually, a sound marriage is the best gift you can give your kids.

It's an inheritance that they won't actually be aware to appreciate until they're developed, yet it shapes all aspects of their lives.

Make sure to Snicker

There are bills to pay and issues to settle and children to potty train. Be that as it may, remember to giggle since, can we just be look at things objectively for a minute, in some cases life is ludicrous and I figure we improve when we find opportunity to recognize it.

I've generally said my better half's redeeming quality is that I actually believe he's amusing.

Only one out of every odd day, fundamentally, however frequently enough that I'm as yet happy he's the one that gets back home to me consistently.

Make each other snicker. Furthermore, extra focuses on the off chance that you can make it happen and stop a moronic battle you were having a moment before. Pardon and Continue On Probably the greatest battles we've had all through our marriage are the ones that come after one of us (normally me, truth be told) has allowed hatred to develop over a ton of seemingly insignificant details that then turned into something major. The before you know it, we're hollering at one another over the water bill and that isn't even the genuine issue on the grounds that the genuine issue started a month prior when I thought he wasn't helping me enough around the house and being by and large childish.

Speculatively talking

Also, in some cases we want to heed the guidance we give our children and "utilize our words".

Tell them when something is irritating you or has harmed you when it works out, and not a month some other time when you've stewed over it until you're prepared to detonate.

And afterward - this is a major one - pardon them.

Perhaps of the greatest acknowledgment I've come to throughout the years is that my better half is never purposefully attempting to hurt me.

He might say or accomplish something coldhearted, yet never intentionally needing to outrage me.

Pardoning is a colossal key to a fruitful marriage. At the point when we clutch hatred and outrage, then, at that point, any seemingly insignificant detail can resemble a match tossed on a gas can.

When you've really pardoned them, you want to let it go.

we maintain that they should do likewise for us?

It's Generally a Work Underway At times I find out about couples who are getting separated from following 35 years of marriage and consistently sort of feel like, "Why?" since it appears as in the event that you've made it that long, you can stay with it for the span.

Yet, it's an update that marriage is a steady work underway. We never show up at an end goal and proclaim that we have shown up and are successful.

It's a day to day vow to think twice about pass on to our own childish cravings and recall that we live with another human who might make us insane in light of the fact that they just utilize a portion of a paper towel and leave the other half on the counter, yet that we promised to cherish them for better or for more regrettable until the end of time.

At times the way in to an effective marriage is working at it in any event, when you don't feel like it.

It's caring our mate when they appear to be loathsome and recollecting that we probably won't be a cookout to live with either a few days.

At last, God gave us this individual since he knows our assets and shortcomings, and where we are needing an individual who will refine, hone, and improve us than we would be whenever passed on to our own particular manners. It's not generally simple, yet eventually, it's dependably worth the effort.

Hoping to assemble a few decent new propensities? Positive or negative, propensities require reiteration.

When they become constant, they become programmed! They never again require additional idea — we just do them. Embrace these 10 propensities to change your life, as a matter of fact!

To recap, the following are 5 Privileged insights of a Cheerful Marriage

Try not to Yield to Correlation

Safeguard Your Time Together

Make sure to Giggle

Pardon and Continue On

It's Generally a Work Underway In the event that you love this asset, make certain to look at our advanced library of supportive apparatuses and assets for cleaning quicker, assuming command over your spending plan, arranging your timetable, and getting food on the table simpler than at any o My folks are two months from celebrating 67 years of great times, incredible times, miserable seasons of marriage.

I had 22 years, complete, yet 16+ long periods of marriage before Dave's demise. Kinship was the establishment for our marriage; we pursued 6 years before wedding and first became incredible companions.

Figuring out how to say, "please accept my apologies" is far superior to saying, "I love you" particularly when the virus winds blow.

Dave and I decided to wed, decided to remain wedded, decided to place every one of our eggs in the other's container.

Somebody once told us, "I've become hopelessly enamored with _." Later, I took a gander at Dave and inquired, "Have you at any point fallen head over heels?" He gawked and answered, "No, yet I think I've stepped in it a few times." Champagne and roses are great; being treasured is better for every one of you and for the long stretch.

(Sorry for the covers… I'm NO tech and no piece of information what I've done.) marriage registration in delh

[amanda-n-newman-author]

On Switching to a “Different Kind of Project”

Okay, so the title of this post might sound a little strange. You’re probably asking yourselves “does she mean going from writing novels to writing something else, like short stories or poetry?” The answer to that is no, I’m still writing novels and will be continuing to write novels for at least the foreseeable future (and beyond because I honestly can’t imagine writing anything else, unless it’s purely for bonus or expanded lore content). So what do I mean by “switching to a different kind of project”? Well, basically, it means that I’m going to be switching to working on a different series (which also means a bit of a different kind of fantasy mixture).

Now, you’re probably wondering what this means for my dystopian fantasy series. If you’ve been following me on social media for a while, or if you know me in real life, you probably know that I’ve been working on a dystopian fantasy series known as Tales From the Outback and that I’ve already released two “companion books” for the series (which take place concurrently with the second book) and that I’m releasing A Tale of Two Bitzers (book 1 of the main part of the series) on November 13th this year. Don’t worry, that release date will not be changing. I’ve actually started writing book 2 of the main part of the series but, honestly, getting through it has been like pulling teeth (even with a full outline, which is not common for me at all). The only reason I can think of is that I might be a bit burnt out on the series. And the reason for that burn out could be a few reasons.

First off, this series tends towards being very dark (I’m talking having a content note at the beginning of every book dark). That could be one reason (especially considering all of the dark, depressing, and dystopic type things going on in the real world lately). Another possible reason could be the length of each of these books. For those who don’t know, all of the books I’ve currently written for this series are over 150k words each (for reference, the minimum word count for a novel is typically between 50-60k words). And each of the books is told from multiple first-person points of view. Both of those factors combined with the dark themes means that each of these books is a huge undertaking. To be clear, I don’t mind this undertaking...usually, but it might be wearing on me lately, especially when combined with reason number three. Reason three, these books, as much as I love them, are not easy to market (at least not for me). That could partly be because of the state of the world (and a bit of me not wanting to bring down anyone’s mood with the dark & dystopic). Yes, people are often intrigued by darker fiction, but not necessarily when they’re living in uncertain and borderline dystopic times. And part of the marketing difficulty might also be that these books don’t really have much of a “crossover” to photo or video opportunities I can realistically set up (in everything from genre, to setting, to symbolism, etc). This leads into my next point, the content, plus the length, plus the difficulty marketing makes these books a very hard sell (even being enrolled in Kindle Unlimited). And finally, I first started Children of the Outback (the first book I released set in this “world”) in 2014 (& then released it in 2019). I’ve been writing in this world (or part of the world) with all of its darkness for almost ten years, and I think I’ve just gotten tired. 

Now, none of this is to say I’m giving up on this series, because I’m not. This series is still very important to me (and to a few others who I know love these characters as much as I do). I won’t be giving up on it, but I need a break from it. At this point, if I keep trying to force the draft for book 2, all I’m going to do is make more work for myself later when I have to go back through and edit and I run the risk of reduced quality and building resentment for the project (yes, I know it sounds crazy). This is not a decision I’ve made lightly or without thought (I’ve thought a lot about it over the past few weeks/months because it goes against a lot of self-publishing advice I’ve read/heard, mainly to write within one series or write closely connected books until you’re more established). But when I was watching a YouTube video last week, it was the final “nail in the coffin” when I heard the advice that “your wants and needs are important too. If you’re not enjoying writing the book, your readers won’t really enjoy reading it” (yes, I’m paraphrasing. So, it’s with a heavy heart that I officially announce that the Tales From the Outback series will be on hiatus/the backburner following the release of A Tale of Two Bitzers. 

Now, you’re probably wondering what I’m going to be working on in the interim (because, let’s be real, we all know I can’t sit still or not be writing something). Well, back in the spring (when I took my first hiatus from writing TFtO Book 2) I drafted what I thought was going to be a short standalone new adult urban fantasy type book, and... only one of those criteria ended up not getting met. It’s still urban fantasy, still new adult, and still short (compared to the Tales From the Outback books). But it’s no longer a standalone. I ended up falling hard for the character (big surprise because that’s how it usually starts for me) and wanted to spend more time in their world, and ended up finding out more about their stories. So, for now, I’m going to be working on a new series tentatively called the Shadowed Curses series. 

Now, I don’t have covers for any of the books yet (though I will be getting a cover for one of them made in November), so the graphic doesn’t look the best. But, this graphic gives basically what you can expect (a series structured similarly to the Tales From the Outback series). Only this time I have much more of a plan than I did for Tales From the Outback (probably because I figured out much earlier how the series will go and acknowledged much sooner that this won’t be simply a standalone). As it stands right now, I have book 2 completely drafted and have started drafting book 3 (I decided to go back to book 1 last because it takes place several years before books 2 and 3). As for the companion books, companion book 1 takes place at the same time as book 2 and companion book 2 takes place at the same time as book 3 (which is why I haven’t started on those yet). Other than that, all I can really say for now is that these books will be much “lighter” than Tales From the Outback (there will still be some darkness, but these characters aren’t fighting to survive in a dystopian world every second of every day. They actually get the chance to breathe and have hobbies and interests). Also, if you like the idea of “learnable magic” (to a degree), slow-burn romance (of course), a “hybrid” school system [for high school and college] (meaning both magic and non-magic subjects are taught), and mythical creatures being commonplace, you’re going to want to keep an eye out for more information on this series.

Also, bear in mind that I have a ton of other book ideas to write (a whole google doc full of them). But going through those could be a post in itself ;)

[queenxxxsupreme]

Omggg! I had an idea it’s not very correct timeline wise…but maybe if you wanted to, could you write an imagine where the reader was tourtured together with Jaskier, but the reader is together with Netflix!Eskel or Netflix!Lambert, and Jaskier is like “fuck Geralt and… are gonna kill me”. But maybe it could work bc reader just have been telling Jaskier about their Witcher lover and Jaskier knows how Geralt is mad so he could imagine another witcher being fourious. +I think Geralt also would be mad that Jaskier got hurt bc of him.

Uh is this too complicated? You can totally not write this!! Sorry.

Have a great day!!!!! 🐺

A/N: Hi babe! I'm sorry this took ages to get out, but I hope you like it :) I put my own little twist on the episode where Jaskier is hurt by the fire fucker so I hope it's at least a little decent

Warnings: spoilers for s2, hurt!Jaskier, hurt!reader, nothing outside of canon for the show

Word Count: 2.2k

***

“Y/N? Y/N, darling? Wake up.”

“Jaskier…. Shut up.” You groaned, turning your head as you started to open your eyes. 

“Are you okay?”

“My head fucking hurts.”

“Mine too. I think we were knocked the hell out.” 

You tried to move your hand so you could rub your head but you found that you weren’t able to move your hands. Your eyes widened suddenly and you lifted your head. 

The room was pitch black with the exception of a ray of moonlight shining in through a window to your left. 

“Jaskier!”

“Just over here, darling.” He spoke from your right. You turned your head as far as you could to the right. From what you could see, he was bound to a chair behind you. 

“What happened?”

“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“Yennefer? Is she here?”

“I don’t think so.”

You began to try to wiggle out of the bonds, but you didn’t get very far before there was something on the other side of the room that caught your attention. Someone snapped your fingers and what looked like a flame appeared, though you didn’t know what the source was. 

“Well that’s unsettling.” Jaskier whispered. 

You watched the very faint outline of a person move in the shadow. 

“Uh, uh, look. We don’t have any money.” Jaskier spoke, his voice shaky. “I am but a, uh…. a humble bard and my dear friend here, she’s-she’s my traveling companion. 

The floorboards creaked as the stranger moved, though you couldn’t tell if they were growing closer or further away until they snapped their fingers. The flame appeared closer. 

“Or-Or if this is about your wife, your mistress, niece–,”

“Shut up.” You muttered to Jaskier, fearing he would be making the situation worse. 

Your heart raced in your chest as you watched the figure. The next time he snapped his fingers, he was directly beside you. 

You flinched, realizing the fire was coming from his fingertip. 

Oh fuck. 

“Look, if you’re just a really big fan, then please note that I am not willing to discuss the subjects of my work, its inspiration or characters, fictitious or otherwise.” Jaskier’s breathing was shaky as he spoke, though he tried to stay calm and stoic. “So why don’t you just show yourself, and we can have a nice chat, and you can tell me what you want from us?”

You strained to see over your shoulder what was happening. 

The stranger- a man -was now in front of Jaskier. He placed one hand on the back of Jaskier’s chair and bent down to be face to face with him. He snapped his fingers, the heat of the flame lighting up Jaskier’s features. 

“Fucking-! Fuck!”

“Shhh.” The man hushed him, clearly taunting the bard. 

You pulled against the rope holding your wrists to the arms of the chair, desperate to get out and try to help your friend. 

“Hello, Jaskier.” The man spoke finally. 

***

You tried to move your fingers. They were numb, scorched from the mage’s magic. But you could feel a pain in your wrist and up your arm. You imagined it was similar to the same pain being cut open with a dull knife would bring. 

“Y/N- Y/N, are you alright?” Jaskier choked out, his mouth full of his own blood. 

Your eyes flickered over to him as you nodded your head. You couldn’t use your voice just yet.  

He spat the blood off to the side, then leaned back in his chair, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling. 

“We’re fucked, aren’t we?”

You kept your lips pressed together, unable to bring yourself to say anything. What if you were truly fucked? What if this was it? 

The mage wanted information on Geralt, which neither you nor Jaskier were going to give up. You would take what you knew about the witchers to your death– which seemed to be very near. 

Tears blurred your vision and your throat became scratchy. 

“Jask, I-I’m-I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, Y/N.” He spoke your name gently. “Don’t-Don’t do that. You can’t. We can’t give up, darling–,”

“This is it for us.”

“It isn’t. It can’t be.” Jaskier firmly shook his head. “That lover of yours would fucking kill me if I let you die…. What’s his name? Tell me about him.”

You shook your head, blinking the tears away but all that did was make them fall down your cheeks. 

“I haven’t even seen him since last winter.” You cried. The physical pain paled in comparison to the pain you felt in your chest from the thought of leaving Lambert without so much as a goodbye. 

“And you’ll see him again, darling. We’ll make it through this.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure, bard.” The mage spoke from somewhere behind you. 

You stiffened up in your seat, blinking a few times to get rid of the tears in your eyes. 

A hand found the back of your chair as the mage walked around you. 

“Tell me about this lover of yours, Y/N.” 

You clenched your teeth together as you glared up at him. 

Did the mage know about Lambert? Your stomach churned at the thought.

“Do you think he’d want you to die like this?”

“Fuck off, you son of a whore!” You pulled against your bonds. 

“Leave her alone!” Jaskier shouted. 

Before anyone could say anything else, there was a crashing noise that came from the bar. 

You turned your head, hoping to get a look at whatever it was, but you couldn’t see that far behind you. 

“I knew I’d find you here.” Yennefer spoke, her words slurring. “You lazy lout.”

A part of you began to panic even more. She didn’t have her magic anymore, so there was no way she could deal with the mage. She’d end up dead too. 

“Leaving me home alone to rot!” She hiccuped. 

The mage stood up as he watched her, momentarily forgetting about you. 

“Uh, uh…. This is my wife.” Jaskier told the mage. “She has nothing to do with this. Please let her go!”

“If you know what’s good for you, leave.” The mage said, irritated with her presence. “Now.”

There was a pause of silence. You heard a bit of moving around, but you couldn’t figure out what it was. 

“If you knew what’s good for you, you’d shut the fuck up.” Yennefer hiccuped again. 

“Have it your way.” The mage grabbed Yennefer and suddenly pushed her into a wooden column. 

Now they were just outside of your peripherals and you could see exactly what was happening. 

“No, no! No, please! Don’t hurt her! Leave her alone, please!” Jaskier begged, frantically gripping the arms of his chair. “She’s done nothing!”

You used the distraction to try to get your binds undone in any way possible. But this only seemed to cause you to rub your wrists raw. 

The mage snapped his fingers, causing a flame to appear above his index finger. 

Yennefer suddenly spat the alcohol she had been drinking at the mage, setting his face alight. He fell to the floor in pain, crying out. 

As fast as she could, she undid both yours and Jaskier’s binds and rushed you out of the tavern.

***

“Who the fuck was that?” Jaskier breathed out, leaning against a doorframe. 

“How should I know?” Yennefer looked back in the direction you three had run from. “You’re the ones he kidnapped.”

You leaned against the barrel next to you, your insides swirling around like a storm cloud. 

“Oh what? You mages don’t all share an alma mater? You didn’t catch him at an alumni event?”

“You know, I was looking forward to a few more thank yous, perhaps some genuflection.”

You heaved and threw up on the ground. Whether it was from your nerves or the terrible pain in your hands, you weren’t sure. Perhaps it was both. 

“Geralt.” You choked out, wiping your mouth with the sleeve of your tunic. “He’s-He’s after Geralt.”

“What?” Yennefer furrowed her brows. “Why? What does he want with him?”

“You know, I assumed it was to drink tea and eat crumpets and wax nostalgic over old times.”

“Jaskier.” You shook your head. You couldn’t catch your breath enough to be able to argue with them. Your chest was tightening and you couldn’t breathe. 

“What’s wrong with her?” Yennefer asked. 

“I couldn’t tell you. But maybe it’s the fact that we almost died not even three minutes ago!”

Yennefer put her hand on your arm, but you didn’t acknowledge her. You kept your head down, eyes closed tightly as you tried to remember how to calm down.

She tilted your head up, brows furrowed. 

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“I-I just– I can’t–,” You shook your head. “Lambert. I almost…. And I haven’t seen him.”

“A panic attack.” Jaskier told Yennefer. 

“It’ll be alright. Come on. We need to keep moving.” Yennefer put her arm around you to provide you with support. 

***

After a confrontation with a group of men that resulted in Yennefer kicking one man in his bullocks, you and Jaskier were split up from the mage. When you found her again, she disappeared right before your eyes. 

“Fucking hell!” Jaskier stepped away from the window, rubbing his brow with the heel of his palm. “So much for not having her magic.”

“I-I don’t know how much further I can go, Jask.” You told him, shaking your head softly. “My hands…. They hurt so bad.”

“I know, darling.” He looked up and down the alley. “We need to find shelter.”

“I need to get to Kaer Morhen.”

He looked at you like you’d just spoken an unfamiliar language. 

“Kaer Morhen? That’s miles and miles away. A few weeks worth of traveling. We wouldn’t make it far in our state.”

“I was a healer decades ago. I-I know some magic, but not a lot. It’s been so long since I’ve done anything, I don’t know if it’ll work. But I can try to conjure a portal.”

“Try?” He repeated. 

“Try. As in, it may lead to where I want it to, or it may lead to the bottom of the ocean.”

Jaskier chuckled, putting his hands on his hips. 

“I don’t know if I like those odds, if I’m honest.”

“We don’t have any choice, Jaskier. We need to warn Geralt.”

A somber look came over his features. 

“How do you know he’s at Kaer Morhen?”

“Winter is coming. If he isn’t there already, then he will be soon enough.” “Are you sure this is safe to do, Y/N? I’d really rather not end up at the bottom of the ocean.”

“Neither would I.”

You took a deep breath as you looked around in search for something to draw energy from. 

There was a pot of flowers near the door to your left. Hopefully that would be enough.

“Give me your hand, Jaskier.”

***

Ciri stared down at the bowl of stew in front of her. She sat at the same table as Coen, Lambert, and Geralt. 

“It’s not going to get any more appetizing the longer you stare at it.” Coen told her. 

“I’m not hungry.”

“You need to keep your energy up.” Geralt said. 

She sighed heavily. 

With no warning, a portal opened above the table they were at. Having no time to react, the witchers and the princess could only watch as two people fell from the portal. One landed on the table while the other one rolled off into the floor. 

“What the fuck!” Lambert shouted, jumping to his feet. He started to reach for the dagger on his hip when he realized it was you who had landed on the table. “Y/N, what the fuck?”

You groaned as you pushed yourself up on to one elbow. 

“Jaskier!” You looked around in search for the bard. 

“For fuck’s sake, I think I would’ve rather landed in the ocean.” He grumbled as he got to his feet. 

“What happened?” Lambert held his hand out for you, wanting to help you down from the table. 

“I-I can’t, Lambert.” You looked at your hands. 

He followed your gaze, eyes widening as he realized you had been burned terribly. 

He clenched his teeth together, turning his attention to the unfamiliar man that had followed you through the portal. 

Lambert grabbed the front of Jaskier’s doublet, almost effortlessly hauling him to his feet. 

“What the fuck happened to Y/N?”

“Lambert, let him go.” Geralt came to stand by his brother, golden eyes finding Jaskier. “He didn’t hurt her.”

“Geralt’s right, Lambert.” You got down from the table so you could stand beside Jaskier. “It was a mage. He hurt us both.”

Lambert let Jaskier go, growling in frustration. 

Jaskier nervously chuckled, straightening his doublet. 

“He certainly is a charming one, Y/N.”

Lambert turned his attention back to you. You didn’t let him get a word out before you threw your arms around him. 

“I didn’t think I’d see you ever again.” You whispered. 

“You’re shaking, bug.” Lambert slipped his arms around you, giving you a firm squeeze. 

“I’m just so glad to see you.” You kissed his neck and then his cheek. You wanted so badly to fist his doublet, but you had to remind yourself of the injuries on your fingers. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” He pressed a kiss to the side of your neck. “Then we can talk about this mage fucker.”

Taglist will be reblogged because tumblr hates me :)