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#so i made a thing to satisfy myself
nrnyx · 2 years
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In which Stiles is a practitioner of the Dark Arts.
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lunarharp · 1 year
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into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.
the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.
for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.
the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.
but they were never whole to begin with, were they?
qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.
olly says nothing.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new.#*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground*#someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything#maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory#and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey#and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all#and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them.#the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao#idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲#i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore#so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol#and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to#and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them.#i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly#but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.
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good-beansdraws · 2 months
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Fe Aspec Week Day 2: Friendship
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An indulgent piece for today!!!! :') It's no secret the trio's friendship has always had a really special place in my heart, and I've been grateful for the taste of acceptance and contentment it brought me during (and long after) I played the game. To see them find the most caring and complete friendship in each other was truly inspiring.
Here's to all of us finding the people that make us "never long for companionship throughout the rest of our days" <3
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britneyshakespeare · 6 months
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My toxic trait is that I like how my incomplete drawings look better than the finished things
#im sorry i cant be her (my searching lines)#i cant stop thinking about this drawing i have a sinking feeling that im gonna be very unhappy when its done#or. not unhappy. but not as excited as i feel about it now!#i only worked in two short chunks on it but both were pretty productive#i have a feeling that when i take the time to really dedicate myself to it im gonna fuck something up#like i can see areas i need to/can improve already but the glaring flaws are ok! bc it's not finished!#it OVERALL looks cool and LOOKS like it has the potential to turn out well#but will it... WILL IT??? WILL IT EVER?#i have never been so totally completely satisfied w any finished drawing ive dedicated myself to fully.#tales from diana#this is also only the second time ive done a really deliberate self-portrait that wasnt in some for or another. practice#like of course ive drawn my face before. not that often actually. but since yes i do draw. i have drawn myself#i probably should've drawn myself more times for how often i think id like a nice picture of myself#but then again its not gonna be so 'nice' if i make it and am not totally happy w it?#see one of the ppl who inspired me to learn to draw is ned @sneez my dearest. he's spoiled me before#and drawn me very beautifully on several occasions and it's very much a thing to move one's heart#to see someone dedicate their talent to depicting YOU.#and i might say HE has made me look more beautiful in art than i think i'll ever look in the flesh#which is not to say he drew me inaccurately. but he's so talented that his art is more beautiful than life.#and i dont compare myself in skill to him bc he's been doing it for YEARS and way more trained than me in the visual arts.#like it simply wouldn't be fair so i only compare myself to myself. naturally#but i used to think. very VAINLY i might say. that if i could draw like him id draw beautiful pictures of myself all the time#well ce n'est pas ca mon ami. since learning to draw i've found im much more interested in drawing ppl i find beautiful#rather than myself. im not art. not through my own eyes at least.#i should really draw ned sometime. i really should.#actually somewhat embarrasingly i tried to draw him like 5 or 6 years ago. and i NEVER tried to draw then#i did show him tho and he thought it was very impressive but that's probably just bc he loves me. xoxox#maybe ill post that someday as a throwback just for the hell of it. lol. thatd be cute
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orcelito · 7 months
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Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.
Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.
Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.
It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...
This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.
I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#didnt mean to write this much about the concept but i really am so...#jealous almost. id love to be able to read my fic as a reader.#because it's tailor made to my tastes Exactly.#and i know it's good writing. i surprise myself even sometimes with how good things end up.#it's never a doubt in my mind that i'll make things good. even the harder things . while bringing trepitation . i know i'll figure them out.#the relationship a fic writer has with their own fic is so... yeah. intimate. but still somehow emotionally removed.#but thats how it goes with any art piece i think#the creator sees all the bits and pieces that went into it. remembers the thoughts as they made it#they know their work better than Anyone Else. but they'll never be able to experience it like an outsider.#is my fic helping someone through a rough breakup? is it something someone rereads when theyre sad?#is it a fic that people stay up way too late reading? the fic that someone discovers and consumes all within a day?#that voracious love. ive experienced it many times with other fics. but i can never experience it with my own.#but in the end. that's okay. i will just continue to do as i wish with it. and maybe people will continue to like it.#it is my goal to make a fic that people will never forget. what that may mean differs depending on the person.#i want it to be the best fic it can be. and i will make it so with every brick i lay down.#puttering about for days and weeks and months. it's Most of what i think about. it's my impact on the world.#and it's sitting for 3 hours after work in the storage room writing until im shivering but Satisfied with a productive writing session#it's writing some of my most emotional scenes while sitting for an hour on the toilet#no one else knows what the toilet written scenes are. but I Do. such is my relationship with my fic.#(the focus in the Quiet Rooms cannot be underestimated. the bathroom is indeed one of the Quiet Rooms lol)#& man. ive rambled so much now. but i just love my fic so very much#i'll never be an ITNL reader. and that's okay. because i'm its writer. & that's a status that No One Else can boast.#even those people who state that it's their Favorite favorite cant rival the intimacy of my own relationship with it.#I Am Its Writer and that means so very much to me.#i... really do love my fic y'all
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tls123 · 22 days
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Oh my god HOW DID YOU LIKE SVSSS!!!!!
i liked it more than i thought i would but overall less than i might have given the potential of the story, i think in general i really enjoyed the characters (mxtx never goes wrong with characters, she creates them in a way that makes me feel unhinged) and the world building but the pay off to the set up—which i really liked!—felt a bit........ i mean, just alright.
the dynamics too are pure mxtx, personally the bin/gqiu dynamic specifically really was the least interesting part of the whole story. to me!! but individually i loved both characters. my interest was just elsewhere because """elsewhere""" felt way more fascinating idk how to explain it
was very, very happy about the extra with airplane and the yue qingyuan / shen jiu one because that's exactly what i wanted more of in the story itself as well as just more shen yuan/qingqiu interacting with cang qiong mountain
maybe it's my orv brain but like i told jana a while back i think i would have enjoyed svsss way more if it was more about shen yuan (loner; hater; etc) suddenly finding himself among all of these people (disciples looking up to him; sect siblings relying on him one way or another; common folk admiring him; etc etc) and starting to.... live? again?
Shen Qingqiu hadn't noticed that, unconsciously, he no longer considered the disciples around him (...) to be mob characters the novel had described in a scant number of words.
^from volume one, he starts seeing them almost immediately because he's not actually that separate and he genuinely cares. all the time. about everything. even before that we get:
This was only a book, and all the people were constructs, imaginary characters. Logically, Shen Qingqiu was very clear on this fact...but when a character was actually being taunted and bullied right before his eyes, it was just flat-out unrealistic to expect him to be completely unmoved.
like why are you lying, shen yuan (<- svsss tagline if there ever was one)
just the idea of this really lonely detached guy finding a community, i know it's not the story mxtx was trying to tell but again, with the set up i really wanted to see it go in that direction.
there's one line from vol two where liu qingge goes "you fear becoming a burden to cang qiong mountain (...) but cang qiong mountain fears not your burden"
and basically what i'm saying is that i wish the story had been about THAT
(and also ning yingying's lines in that same chapter about shizun always taking on everything himself and why is it always you like that whole moment with the cang qiong mountain almost begging him to see that they care. idek what i'm saying but you know)
(also foaming at the mouth that we only got tiny tiny glimpses of shen yuan's life from before, those handful of times he mentioned his siblings i wanted to take a bite out of my kindle. tell me more!! dear fucking lord tell me more!! keep talking! elaborate!! he really felt very "kim dokja and his fourth wall" at times, sorry once more about the orv brain)
tldr: i guess i wanted a story about shen yuan/qingqiu but mxtx created svsss to be a story about bin/gqiu. and i just have to be okay with that.
#does this make any sense? no. am i still hitting ''post''? yes. sorry kay#fra.txt#fra.xml#pathos-logical#overall i quite enjoyed obsessive lu.o bin.ghe. so intense and possessive about the one person who showed him a little kindness#(so what if he also showed him a lot of pain too here and there?)#but like i said the bin.gqiu dynamic just didn't pull me in. of course to each their own#(''one person'' but poor yingying was trying to help him since day one.)#but also..... to me it felt like his arc was the least satisfying. he just.... is. whereas most everyone else seems to evolve more tangibly#right now i can't help but think of tianlang-jun. ''i can't bring myself to hate humans''#not to mention all the women from his harem becoming characters in their own right#i wish i could explain myself better but i don't have the words. sorry!#l.uo bin.ghe you ARE interesting i just feel like your story could have been more#as an apology here's my favorite line of yours: ''I don't want you to repay me. I just couldn't get over my anger''#see?? i pay attention to you too baby boy#i should re-read all of ^^^ that but i won't </3#edit: one thing i forgot to mention is that i did like the small snippet we got of bin/g-ge reacting to shen yu.an/qin.gqiu#like now that's something that immediately caught my eye it already made for such a more fascinating dynamic.#also i've seen a few things about shen yua.n (not trasmigrated) getting to meet bin.ghe/bin.g-ge and again that i would take a peak at#fully black lotus bin/g-ge coming face to face with shen ''i'm a hater but also can't help but be kind all the time'' yu.an truly pickles#my tickle. i'm sat. i'm listening. i'm compelled.
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isurrendertoclones · 26 days
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Jurassic World: Chaos Theory spoilers:
(This is relevant to Star Wars I promise lol)
The ending of this season just makes Tech’s death that much more frustrating!!!
Like we, the audience, knew Brooklyn was alive, because that’s the way the story was set up. That’s the story we, as humans, like and understand and crave. We didn’t know when or how she was coming back, so it was still a surprise! And she lost an arm in the attack, so there were consequences! None of the tension or emotion was lost because she’s actually alive.
It just parallels Tech’s death so perfectly…except that in Chaos Theory they actually went with the story that both made narrative sense and satisfied the audience. There was still genuine pain and grief for her through the whole season, making her ‘death’ impactful (haha we didn’t even get that for Tech, so it was pretty much meaningless 🙃), but they’re still bringing her back into the story. It doesn’t feel forced or juvenile—it feels like the way the story is supposed to go.
It just feels like a kick in the teeth coming right on the heels of the end of TBB (mixing my metaphors a little lol) because yeah. This. This is exactly what I wanted: we get Tech back. He’s changed, irrevocably, but he’s back.
There just doesn’t feel like there was any point to Tech’s death except to hurt the audience—and it barely has any impact on the in-world story at all!!! A couple of almost throw-away lines over the whole third season. We don’t even see Crosshair finding out what happened.
TL;DR
The ending of the first season of Chaos Theory is exactly what I wanted to happen with Tech, and there’s no reason we shouldn’t have gotten him back.
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emsloe · 7 months
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It’s hard to justify spending money on, and it’s a little embarrassing even if it’s fun, but I’m kinda tempted to make an art book of digital art I’ve done. It’d be almost half wizard101 fanart, and a lot of oc stuff. One thing I kinda miss about doing less traditional these days is not really having sketchbooks to flip through. In general if I’m gonna spend money on an art book I’d rather it be someone else’s art book… I have a few because I do enjoy splurging on one every once in a while when I can afford it. but it would scratch some kinda itch to have one of my own too. Somewhere (not sure where I put it) I have one of photography I did, since it was required as a final project for one of my photography classes. But it’d be nice to have one of drawings, since that’s my main thing. Idk
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simplydnp · 4 months
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char, you've got me on the edge of my seat here. i'm very excited for whatever you're working on, hope you're just as excited to be creating it
anon i am so excited you have no idea. i'm by nature a very creative person, and due to school, work, and now illness, i haven't had my needed release of creativity. it's been festering for a while. so once i was struck by inspiration, it's been hard to stop me. it feels amazing to be creating things again--(and a little secret: it's something i have no experience in and have no business doing abilities-wise, but that's never stopped me before!)
it's spiralled into an even bigger project than i could've ever predicted, and honestly, it wasn't even going to be something i posted about when i started. it was just a project for me--which is important!! but with how big it's gotten and how much fun i've had--and honestly the quality of it too--i've decided i do want to share it here bc i think you'll love it.
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olehoncho · 1 month
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How I would fix Dr Who (revisited)
While I am sure there are folks that love the Doctor Who show and the direction it has taken under Chibnal, I know there are others who are not satisfied with certain developments. Ever since the end of Matt Smith's run there have been issues with the continuity of the series: - The expansion of The Doctor's regenerations was first explained via a "time lord energy infusion" in Town of Christmas, but was later revealed to be an aspect of the Timeless Child. - The swapping of sex/gender was first done with the Master and later explored with the Doctor. - Letting go of a Time Lord's power was explored in Human Nature and later in Uptopia, but revisited as being a "female presenting" quality later. - The Bi-Generation creating two time lords.
A lot of this new canon has been... not easy to absorb. And I'm not going to say there's any connection to ratings or audience scores, but as someone who is more interested in the science fiction aspect of the show, I think there is enough of the new canon to play with to fit in with the long-running series canon.
Make The Doctor a distinct being separate from The Timeless Child. - This is the main one, and could be done a couple of different ways. My previous theory was to make The Timeless Child the Time Vortex at the heart of the TARDIS (which explains why it is different from other TARDIS). This would explain the leeching of memories and power to other individuals as well. - Another way to do this would be to have The Doctor either be a bi-generation from The Timeless Child, or perhaps be the son of The Timeless Child who inherited some memories. There are options.
Restore the Regeneration Limit and explain how it was bypassed. - The previous explanation is that The Doctor is the first Time Lord and therefore has endless regenerations. This never felt right. The Doctor being a Time Lord whose uniqueness comes from their decisions, the promise to be "The Doctor" rather than their particular history is the key to the character. - You could do another bi-generation backstory into The Doctor's past, and that part of The Doctor has been dormant, sleeping aboard the TARDIS for near a thousand years (my personal choice would be the regeneration from 2nd to 3rd Doctor). - Then you would have to explain that The Doctor who has been adventuring has been part of The Doctor, but a being who got mixed up with The Timeless Child and is therefore confused. Then explain that the reason for the regeneration limit being bypassed is because of the TARDIS - so many Doctors regenerate in the TARDIS and this is shown to have led to many explosions of energy which were not present in earlier regenerations because this version of The Doctor is growing unstable. - Time Lords are not meant to live more than 12 regenerations, because the energy in their bodies becomes more than they can handle, like a dying star they either go supernova or become dwarf stars.
Kill off the current version of The Doctor and bring in "The Original" - This could be a series-long arc involving The Valeyard - with the "current Doctor" being the Valeyard and "The Original" questing to stop them, but would end up with The Doctor dying and creating their grave on Trenzalore that is eventually visited by 11 and Clara. - The "original" Doctor would then continue the adventures, absorbing all the memories of their alternate selves - and resume the regeneration limit from 3 (a new 3, not Pertwee) and then regenerating into 4.
Anyways, that's how I'd rework Doctor Who if it was up to me. But it's not, so whatever.
#Doctor who#tardis#seriously though I stopped watching because I hated how mean 12 was to Danny Pink#Like there was no reason to be that rude to your companions love interest#I just could not jive with Capaldi and could not bring myself to go back to the show#kept up with the lore and the drama and felt satisfied I stayed away#but can we stop race-swapping people please#I mean I guess its fine when you consider alternate realities but that was never Doctor Whos thing#Like time travel is fine and all and they really haven't done enough fun back to the future or quantum leap stuff about fixing timelines#but as part of a larger trend I just think race swapping historical figures is lame#Now fictional characters is fine and dandy#But like if Doctor Who went on an adventure with Sun Wukong I wouldnt want the Monkey King played by a scotsman#So its just weird to see Isaac Newton played by Nathaniel Curtis#And then to have the showrunner attack fans as racists#Like he was the one who changed the race of the person showing he was the one with the problem in the first place#this is my problem with folks who cry racism or sexism or shout at fans for not embracing changes#they're the ones who made the change from the source materials so doesn't that mean they are the ones with the problem#like don't say its the fans fault for not accepting the changes you make blame yourselves for not getting it right#but again that's just the way I see things#not a shipping post#yeah I'm done talking about doctor who#I bloody stopped watching the show 9 years ago why do I even care
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daincrediblegg · 2 years
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I mean like with all sincerity I don’t think I’ve faced the level of emotional destruction that Plague Tale Requiem served on a 4k platter 
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something something about how the rings not just symbolised Yuuri and Victor's bond and was not just an omamori for them something something Victor was the first person Yuuri wanted to hold on to and share his dreams with and depend on after fighting for so long ALONE something something the rings symbolising this exact same thing something something about how Yuuri's arc still is wonderful even when he didn't win the gold because he finally learnt to actually depend on people, share his dreams and aims with them and not fight alone which is something he struggles with for the whole show
#yuri on ice ///#I am not sure about how to intrepret the whole of yuuri's arc but that's purely because I've watched the show only once#It always felt a bit off to me when the whole winning gold was a bit rushed in the last episode#And of course you could blame that on the pacing and you could say that there was flaws in the writing/the writers got confused#I've seen multiple posts about it and while I personally disagree I do think it is a valid interpretation#But I want to work with what DID happen in canon so I can be at peace with the episode lol#I choose to intrepret his arc as being one where he learns to not beat himself up over his failures (In lack of a better way to phrase it)#His anxiety plays a huge factor in it too though#One could argue that maybe winning gold would've given him that final push in believing that he is in fact extraordinary and not just#A dime a dozen skater (and I think that would have been wonderful too!)#And yeah they could have made him win gold AND have him not retire! But I don't think what we got in canon is inherently bad writing#(I mean excluding the scoring which from what I hear was inaccurate? But it doesn't bother me because Idk anything about scoring lmao)#Or maybe it's because this is a lesson I personally am struggling to learn and accept - that regardless of whether you win or not you#can and should strive to be better and better without losing hope#also a bit related to this but to me the emotional climax in the finale was actually Yuuri's free skate and him breaking the record#It was what further cemented my#thoughts about Yuuri's arc being about him and his need to be satisfied with his skating regardless of winning or losing#also fyi the takes I talked about aren't inherently ones I came across lol I just was thinking of various counter points#The whole reason I am writing this si because I want to understand this whole thing myself gdishsjshdh so writing it down seems like a good#thing#n rambles#Also hopefully this post doesn't show up in tags djsbdjbdjd
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berrymeter · 11 months
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sometimes i think maybe i'd like to actually write & post my writing on here but then i remember the worldbuilding i was working on needs to be entirely reworked in some parts & it's like. what's the point until i've worked all that out
#perth.txt#but so much of it bothers me & idk how to fix it bc. it was meant to be a roleplay universe#it was built over time with a bunch of diff elements that were brought together & some of them just dont mesh#im afraid it might be too big for me to handle on my own bc im a little too obsessed with making a world that has similar size as earth#meaning all the cultures n countries n stuff that come with it#it can technically be made easier through the power of 'this is a fictional world but there are shitty rich ppl'#in which the shitty rich ppl ruined it for mostly everyone else#but the way i see it its gonna bring up things that i frankly dont trust myself to handle properly#bc its big & i get squashed by just. all the aspects to be taken into consideration#i probably make things too hard for myself i'm no tolkien i could just go 'its like this bc its like this :)' & go#but........ would i ever be satisfied with it.#if im not satisfied with the worldbuilding how can my readers be........#not that i intend on going into writing of all things as a career i have enough dead end prospects as is#i just. want to share the stuff i care about & sometimes that happens to be worldbuilding & stuff#but its a large world & it has a lot of barely worked on but full of potential concepts#& im bound to neglect some of them eventually if i want to focus on one single plot.#which i dont.#the whole point from the start was that the little people can get together and make things better when everything seems hopeless#a kinda salvageable thing would be a timeskip where the characters get cryostasis'd or w/e after the big event#but it feels like a cop out & i really dont wanna go for that. not the whole fleet#the fleet itself might be part of the problem. it was brought up by my friend but. i dont have to keep that. it just doesnt work for me#i feel it defeats the purpose if we have intergalactic travel. yeah our rich people suck can you help us take them down ok bye#i Do like the idea of having Big Technology Advancements of sorts but. i think maybe the fleet is stunting me.#but what to do instead... maybe i should rework the 'sacred weapon' stuff too. i don't know how though.#i was a bit attached to that & it's kinda central to two of the main plotlines...#considering one of them if centred around. the sacred weapon themself#grbrbgrbgbrgbgr i need to think on all of this
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katierosefun · 2 years
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did you know that cooking yourself is actually a good idea because whoaaaaaa
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year
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I somehow just spent 4 straight hours making grid guides for myself, I think I have a problem
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arrowpunk · 2 years
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It is so Incredibly freeing to let myself draw whatever the fuck I want to draw without letting other people's expectations/desires/standards hold me back, like gosh I'm having so much more fun with it than I used to
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