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lifeisdabubbles-undersalmondean · 3 years

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La Pomme ~ Chapter 16

Pairing: Sam x OC (eventual Dean x OC and Dean x Castiel. And I mean eventual.)

Series summary: George is a casual French-Mistake-universe Supernatural fan living in no-COVID 2020, who's life is upended when she's suddenly launched between realities, two years into the boys' past (S13E22). What begins as an insane, immersive fan experience turns into more when Jack goes missing and George offers up her AU information to help track him down. Soon it's discovered that she and Sam may actually have history. But that's impossible, right?

Word Count:5,800

Warnings: {smut, fluff, angst, show level violence, swearing, mentions of suicide} ***Detailed warnings will be tagged for specific chapters.

A/N: Following the events of my prequel Paradise and second story From My Eyes Off. Reading those first gives context but isn’t necessary to start this one.

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George was alone with Jack for the next few hours while the brothers set about the tasks of clean up, house warding, and hopefully some rest of their own. She was the perfect person to take first watch, considering every time she closed her eyes she saw Jack’s bloody, near lifeless body behind her lids. Staying with him gave her a reason to keep her eyes open and she figured the more she could see him looking distinctly alive, the better. Every once in a while she’d take his hand in hers and squeeze tightly, thinking ‘happy thoughts.’ Considering her recent angelic kidnapping, she refused to call it prayer; instead she tried to imagine sending healing energy through her hands to him.

Just as the sun began sneaking a ray or two into the room through the half open blinds, George spotted movement out of the corner of her eye. It startled her at first, thinking the psychotic angel was back. She relaxed when it was only Dean.

“Morning,” She said quietly. She watched him hold a mug up to his lips and take a careful sip before acknowledging her.

“Morning,” He mimicked, stepping into the room. “Your Aunt serves decent coffee.”

“‘Decent’? Don’t let her hear you say that,” She warned with a tired smile.

Dean gave her a once over and then motioned for her to get up, “OK, shift change. Time for you to get some rest.”

“Dean, I’m fine--”

“I’m sure you're fine as a frog’s hair, but you still need sleep, young lady.” Came Lorna’s stern voice from the doorway. She was holding a plate of fresh baked mango scones that made Dean's mouth water. Lorna held the plate out to him and he took two, then eyed the plate longingly. “Go ahead. I have another batch on the counter and two more in the oven. And if the coffee’s not weak enough for you, there’s a Starbucks in Gibbousville,” She informed him in a stern voice, a smirk on her face. Dean glanced at George, who’s expression clearly said ‘toldja so,’ and then sheepishly took a third scone with a happy, quiet mumble of thanks.

There was only one scone left on the plate and Lorna handed it to George, “You’ve been awake since I stitched you up. Take this to the garage and get some shut eye. I’ll feed this one before I go to work and he can keep watch while you rest.” George looked between the two of them. Despite the crumbs stuck to Dean's chin, the serious expressions on their faces told her she wasn’t going to win any arguments about it. Giving Jack’s hand one last tight squeeze, she got up, took the plate with a defiant ‘thank you,’ and left the room.

The converted garage apartment consisted of one 15’ x 30’ living room-kitchen combo area with an attached bathroom and shower downstairs. At the top of the stairs was a long, narrow bedroom that had just enough room for one queen and one full mattress, placed on opposite sides of the room and a small nightstand for the queen bed. The room was cramped, with slanted ceilings so severe that neither brother could stand up fully in there other than one four inch horizontal line down the middle.

George entered the cottage and placed the plate of scone on the counter. Splitting it in two, she left one half on the plate and took a bite of the other. Unsurprisingly it was delicious and fluffy. Her aunt had always been a whiz in the kitchen; it was comforting that her alt-aunt was too. Glancing around, she saw her Target bags sitting on the leather loveseat across the room and walked over to them. She debated her options, then closed her eyes for a moment, just to see. The image of Jack’s lifeless body was murkier now, but the face of her angel tormentor was too realistic to handle. She opened her eyes again quickly, glanced around to make sure she was alone, then grabbed her toiletries.

Shower first, it is.

After brushing the blood from her teeth thrice, she carefully scrubbed her grimey skin, limited a bit by her injuries. The pain meds had worked well but she could feel a deep soreness on her side when she tried to reach certain spots. She stayed under the warmth of the water for a long time, avoiding the inevitable. Sleep was definitely going to require her eyes to be closed, but she couldn’t shake the traumatic images. She’d even attempted to calm her nerves with a few fingers but couldn’t concentrate. As she turned off the water, she hoped at least that the sun had risen high enough to chase away the darkness and maybe her fears along with it.

She wrapped her long wet hair into a towel, and began drying off. Then looked around for her clothes and realized she hadn’t brought any in with her; everything was still out on the loveseat. With a tired curse, she wrapped the damp towel around herself and peeked out to make sure the coast was clear before exiting into the living area.

Across the room, kitty-corner to the bathroom, was a modest sitting area with a loveseat and matching oversized chair positioned in front of a small redwood coffee table and fireplace. When she got to her clothes, she dropped the towel to the ground without even thinking and reached into the bag for some fresh white underwear and a black sleeveless undershirt. With her injuries, it was a bit of a struggle to get them on, but she managed it slowly.

Just as she was about to search in the bag for her pajama pants, she heard a distinct creaking sound and her head snapped toward the staircase. Knowing there was no way she’d be able to get the pants on fast enough, she reached down for the towel. The only thing she’d had time to do was grip it before Sam appeared at the bottom of the stairs five seconds later.

“Sam--” She sputtered apologetically with a start when she saw him frozen there, dressed in a casual long sleeved grey v-neck and black pajama pants. There was still sleep on his face, but he was quickly waking up, looking very surprised to see her in such a state of undress.

The second she laid eyes on him, she felt her whole body relax. She almost laughed in disbelief, considering normally she would have been falling all over herself to cover up and apologize. Whether because of the insane dream connection (which she still hadn’t fully processed) or just the past few weeks getting to know him, his mere presence made her feel safe. Safe enough that she didn’t need to say sorry. Safe enough that pants were optional. Even safe enough to close her eyes and take a deep, calming breath when she saw nothing but inky blackness behind them.

“Georgia?” Came a quiet rasp. He’d been worried about her since the rescue but, there’d been so many things to do, he hadn’t found a good time to talk to her yet. After helping to get Jack stabilized, he and Dean carefully and discreetly painted warding around the property to prevent the angels from tracking them. Then began the clean up.

Once that was all finished, he’d stopped by Jack’s room to check on her, but noticed she was talking outloud to him. Not wanting to interrupt, he’d decided to clean himself up with a shower before another attempt. His final barrier had been Dean, who literally wouldn’t leave him alone until he got some rest. He knew telling him to chill out because he needed to go talk to ‘the woman of his dreams’ wasn’t going to be a conversation ender for his brother. Just trying to wait the man out, he had accidentally fallen asleep.

Seeing her now, though, he realized just how nervous he was to be alone with her. It certainly wasn’t like he’d been trying to avoid having life-altering conversations with her by finding important busy work to do, but he couldn't deny that a tiny part of him was scared. She was still from an alternate universe and now that they had found Jack, they were supposed to send her back. So what if he’d dreamt about her and she kinda seemed to be aware of it too? So what if that fact indicated she may have had the same dream and the two of them have a decade old shared memory across alternate realities, hmm? What did that even mean? Did it even really change anything? She still had to go back to her world, right?

Considering he didn’t yet know how to answer any of that for himself, he instead started with, “How are you?”

Hearing the concern in his voice, her eyes opened and she smiled gratefully at him. Momentarily appreciating the messy morning hair and beard, she felt the stirrings of something primal and almost considered revisiting her earlier solo shower work. Instead, though, she figured she’d ask him to stay with her just until she could fall asleep.

“Tired,” She answered before dropping the towel and walking over to him. She slowly took his hand and led him back up the stairs to the bedroom. He wasn’t exactly sure what was happening but he knew he’d follow her anywhere. He allowed her to guide him back up, trying not to stare at her barely covered behind on the way.

Since their conversation in the car, Sam very clearly saw the young blonde bride he met in his dream whenever he looked at her (any of her). He was dumbfounded it took him this long to see it; he thought he had that woman’s face seared into his memory. His only explanation was that he’d successfully been able to convince himself that the dream hadn’t been real all those years ago. Therefore, it didn’t occur to him that a real woman he’d never met, from a universe he’d only been in once, could be the same person from a fake dream. Whatever the reason, he saw it now and it caused him to ache with curiosity and desire.

When she reached the top of the stairs, she realized she hadn’t actually asked him to stay and turned back around, causing him to stop as well. He was a few steps down, so they were eye-level and George could see the desire very clearly in his bright hazel eyes. The primal urges she’d placated downstairs took over; leaning forward she placed a soft, desperate kiss on his lips.

When their lips touched, she panicked for a split second about her impulsivity. Then she immediately felt his hands on her waist and she was filled with exquisite peace. Able to close her eyes untroubled for the first time in hours, she sunk into him.

Sam was so startled by the kiss that he grabbed her sides, holding on tight. Once the reality of what was happening registered, he responded enthusiastically. From his dream he remembered her taste, the way she felt in his arms, and her silky soft lips but the reality of it was unbelievable. His senses were overloading; she felt familiar and new all at the same time. It was electrifying and so consuming that all his doubts about what was happening were forgotten.

Frustrated that she couldn’t kiss him any harder without her lip protesting, she pulled back. He gripped her tighter instinctively. With a smile, she reached up and grabbed his hands, prying them off her body.

Taking a few steps backward into the room, she tugged at them, inviting, “Stay?” His mind was in a fog of stunned yearning and it rooted him to his spot. Noticing his hesitation, she squeezed his hands and pleaded softly, “Just until I fall asleep? We don’t have to do anything.”

He pulled his hands from her grip slowly, then climbed the last of the steps and stood tall over her. One hand slid into her hair, the other wrapped around her waist, pulling her back to his lips for a slow, lingering kiss. Gently and carefully, so as not to hit either of their heads against the very low and steeply angled attic roof, he guided her backwards to the larger of the two beds. Stopping her just before they reached the mattress by squeezing her against him. He’d meant to stop kissing her long enough to make sure exactly what she wanted to do, but her tongue was very distracting. Then her hands moved to softly touch the scruff of his cheeks and he melted, tumbling farther away from being able to stop kissing her.

Suddenly she ripped away from him and her forehead dropped to his chest silently. Looking down at her in confusion, wondering if he’d hurt her or she’d changed her mind, he noticed a sharp inhale of breath. When she lifted her head again her eyes were a bit watered and he realized how tired she really was.

With a smirk, he inquired, “Georgia, were you hiding a yawn from me?” Avoiding eye contact she shook her head, keeping her lips pressed together. The smirk turned into an amused smile and Sam loosened his grip on her, placing a tender kiss on her forehead.

“Bed,” He ordered softly, noticing the shiver that ran through her. Shaking her head in protest George reached up and grabbed at the collar of his shirt, pulling him down towards her. He chuckled and grabbed hold of her hands to stop her. With a charming smile he rubbed his nose against hers, bringing his lips near her tauntingly, “I’ll keep going if you can tell me how much you want me.”

Her eyes rolled back in her head and she hesitated, trying to lift herself up to his lips without him noticing.

Squeezing her eyes closed tight in hope, “I wan--” was all she got out before another yawn hit her. She wasn’t fast enough to hide this one. Why was her brain betraying her body like this?

Sam gave her another sweet but chaste kiss as a consolation prize before letting go, hunching over, and carefully maneuvering around the left side of bed. She turned her body around to follow him with a depressed slouch. The covers and pillows were disturbed and she assumed that’s where he’d been sleeping before coming downstairs. He gave the pillows a quick fluff and folded the blanket back.

To her pleasant surprise, he climbed in first. Once he was situated comfortably up against the headboard, his left arm stretched out on the empty pillow next to him, he looked at her expectantly. She straightened up from her slouch in surprise; too elated to move.

Grinning wide, she finally murmured, “Are you for real, Sam Winchester?”

With a small smile, he assured, “C’mon. Bed,” He ordered again, beckoning her with his hand. Finally her muscles moved and she climbed in next to him. Laying against him as the little spoon, she rested her head half on his shoulder, half on the pillow. Once he pulled the covers up over them both, his arms wrapped around her. He lifted one hand up, stroking her hair, and rested the other hand just below her underwear on the naked skin of her hip. Squeezing her close, he nuzzled her neck and placed a few kisses on her soft skin.

Her fresh, clean scent was intoxicating. He should have stopped kissing her; he knew she needed sleep, he could see it all over her face. Yet, having her this close after all this time was nearly making him burst; he couldn’t help himself. Glancing up, he saw her hardening nipples through the thin fabric of her shirt and knew it was too late.

Goosebumps appeared on her skin shortly thereafter and she teased, squirming a bit, “Hey buddy, I can’t sleep if my libido can’t sleep.” She’d expected him to stop instantly.

Instead, she heard, “Do you want me to stop?” murmured genuinely in her ear and felt his hand freeze in its movement from her hip down toward her thigh. With a surprised shudder, that primal instinct roared awake once more.

“Hell no,” She purred, shifting her hips so her butt was flat on the bed. When she spread the leg he wasn’t gripping, her movement caused his fingers to brush against her fabric covered core. They both groaned. Tossing her head back and to the side, she begged, “Touch me!” Before reaching up to grab the back of his head and pull him down for another hungry kiss, lip injury be damned.

He responded eagerly. His hand slipped under the fabric and he played her like a soft, warm instrument he hadn’t picked up in years, but never forgot. Every sound his movements elicited, reminded him what to do next to please her. There were also new and exciting things he hadn’t expected, like the metal jewelry he could feel surrounding her nipples while his fingers toyed with them under her shirt. The moment he felt them, he smirked, realizing then how she’d known the pierced librarian would be interested in seeing them. His head filled with ideas about what they might look like, but he couldn’t see them in the dimness of the bedroom. He worked her through two quick releases before she passed out, satisfied, in his arms. __________________________________________

George was back in the bar where she'd first met Sam. Her wedding dress was on and her hair was purple, just like the dream. Sitting next to her in the booth, Sam’s face was ten years younger and smooth as a baby’s bottom. His eyes were the same, though; an ocean of deep pain and loss and they distracted her from whatever he was saying.

Suddenly they were kissing and she couldn’t think about anything else. Her hands rubbed roughly against the skin of his neck as her tongue flicked across his lips. Opening his mouth and meeting her tongue with his, he obliged. Their tongues wrestled blissfully for an eternity before they finally came up for air.

“What are you?” She heard him ask, but she wasn’t listening. Her eyes were still closed, hoping he would bring his lips back again.

“Hmm?” She murmured after a moment. When she opened her eyes, she couldn’t see his face through her fog. “Sam?” She asked, blinking a few times in order to get her vision back. When she tried focusing, she noticed that his features were twisting and swirling slowly. In confused horror she watched him morph into the dark haired angel who’d assaulted her. With a gasp she tried to pull back from him and then felt a hand wrap around her throat. She tried to reach for the hand and pry it off but it felt like her body was moving through thick molasses.

“Tell me what you are,” He barked as she struggled to escape. The hand around her throat grew tighter and he shouted again in her face, “Tell me. Whe--What you are!” Struggling to get air, she closed her eyes tight and tried to scream. His voice was beginning to skip and warp like an old worn out record.

A deafening “whooshing” began, punctuated by a few other sounds she couldn’t quite make out, “VaSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHtivaSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHtivaSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHtivaSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHtivaSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHtivaSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH”

Suddenly a voice with a deeper, richer tone spoke quietly to her, “Vashti!” When her eyes snapped open in response, she was startled. It wasn’t the angel anymore. Now Sam looked like a man with thin dusty lips, rounded features, short spiky blonde hair, and blue eyes that matched her own. She didn’t recognize him but something about him filled her with a familiar dread she couldn’t pinpoint, causing her to increase her efforts to get out of his grip.

With a smug curl of his lips, the stranger called to her in a low, sing-song voice, squeezing her throat, “Tell me where you are. Tell me where you are, VASHTI!”

Launching herself upright with a gutteral noise of panic, her eyes darted around the room trying to orient herself as she gulped in air. She saw a figure standing near the stairs and instantly screamed out to Sam for help. It didn’t register that the figure was Sam, until he was sitting on the bed in front of her with his hands on her arms. She grabbed onto his biceps and held tight while he tried to calm her.

“Georgia! It’s OK, you’re OK! I’m here, it’s Sam, it’s me! It’s just me. Me and you, OK?” He shushed forcefully, staring into her eyes to help her focus. She tried to slow her panting, as she felt her body begin to relax, her brain finally able to process her surroundings. Nodding slowly, she let go of his arms and fell forward, hugging him tightly. He hugged her back and stroked her hair calmly. Once her breathing returned to normal, she pulled back and sat up straight.

Looking at her with concern, he asked gently, “Bad dream?”

Running a shaky hand over her face she explained, “It was a great dream until that fucking angel showed up and started strangling me...” Sam frowned in empathy, watching her carefully. She seemed to want to say more; her eyes were glazed over.

The angel had freaked her out but the blonde man had terrified her; her heart was pounding. The feeling of the dream reminded her of the time she’d had sleep paralysis and saw a bony, bloody, scraggly haired witch on top of her; except a thousand times worse. It took her a week to get a good night’s sleep after that, and she hasn’t slept on her back since.

When she didn’t speak, he asked, “Was there something else?”

George blinked the man’s face away and looked back at Sam, “I uh… I don’t know. Yes, maybe. Someone else.”

“Who?” The concern on his face nearly melted her. No one had ever looked at her like that before and she nearly choked up. She was starting to doubt herself. Maybe it was no one? Some actor or character she couldn’t place? Maybe the face of one of the other angels from the group in the forest? Maybe just another case of sleep paralysis? Maybe it was ridiculous that she’d let it get her so worked up and it wasn’t worth focusing on. Especially not when a man as amazing as this one was sitting right in front of her.

Shaking her head a bit she started, “I didn’t recognize him…”

Sam nodded and began rubbing his hands up and down her arms comfortingly, “Well, can you describe him to me? Maybe I’ll rec--”

George shook her head and placed her hands firmly on his chest, cutting him off, “No, no, no. This is silly, I’m being silly. It was just a bad dream, maybe some sleep paralysis or something? I’m better now.” Sam searched her face suspiciously, and she smiled, feeling the hard muscle beneath his shirt, “I promise. Especially with you here.”

“Georgia, er--” The wiggle of her eyebrow caught him a little off guard. He tried to stay focused on whether or not she was really ok for just a minute longer, “Listen, I don’t think you’re being silly. If there’s something you want to talk about, we can talk about it anytime, OK?”

“Mhm, I appreciate that,” She answered, nodding enthusiastically and beginning to giggle just a bit. His attempt to slow things down with kindness and concern was only revving her up. It really wasn’t his fault; he couldn’t know how adorably sexy he was. “I am feeling much better, thank you.”

“You’re sure?” He asked, a furrow in his brow, as he adjusted a few strands of her hair gently.

“Actually, there is something I’d like to talk about,” She asked, looking at him with an exaggeratedly worried expression.

“Anything,” Sam assured her with a kind smile.

“Well, I don’t like this shirt you’re wearing,” She said apologetically, lifting it up by the hem a bit. He looked down at the shirt quickly and she continued, “I don’t think it looks good on you.”

He looked back up at her confused, “You... don’t?” He had other shirts, but was this really a high priority concern at the moment?

“No, but it’s OK because…” She smirked flirtatiously, batting her eyelashes and tugging harder at the offending garment, “I know it’ll look good off you.”

It took about 1.5 seconds for Sam to catch on and he couldn’t help but laugh shyly, “Oh, yea?” She nodded quickly as he reached for her, pulling her close and planting a kiss on her lips. Allowing him a grace period, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him, kissing him back fiercely for a few moments.

Suddenly she pulled back and grabbed his shirt on either side, lifting it up and demanding, “Shirt.”

Sam huffed in annoyance at having been unceremoniously ripped away from her lips but figured the quickest way to remedy that was compliance. He let go of her and grabbed the shirt from her hands, yanking it up and over. As the small fabric fell to the floor, he didn't allow her any time to enjoy the view before grabbing her again.

“Freeze!” She squeaked, placing her hands on his shoulders to stop him. He stopped with a flare of his nostrils and she requested, “Un momento,” before giving him a slow once over. She happily noted his gorgeous, tanned muscles, the dark, sparse patch of hair in the center of his chest, and the dark ink of the protection symbol on his skin, which she slid her fingers over softly. Then, running her hands down his chest with a satisfied sigh, she granted, “Proceed.”

With an amused shake of his head, he leaned forward with a forceful kiss. Pushing her back onto the pillows, he climbed on top of her. Her legs spread so he could lay against her comfortably but the blanket was still between them. She cursed it’s very existence as the two of them got lost in each other’s mouths.

At some point--George was certain an eternity had passed--Sam pulled back and started placing wet kisses on her clavicle. She buried her fingers in his silky soft hair, throwing her head back and lifting her chest toward him. His hand slid down to the hem of her shirt and his fingers slipped underneath. Somewhere in the deep recesses of her brain she thought she heard a low *thonk* sound in the distance.

She was about to mention it when Sam’s hand began sliding up her torso and he murmured with uncertainty, “This looks terrible on you?”

She bit back a chortle and responded with a tug at his hair, “Uh oh, I should probably take it off then, huh?” Under her brain fog she thought she’d heard a voice begin to speak just as Sam let out a loud, sharp agreeable groan. Pausing his kisses, he sat back so he could help her undress.

“Did you... hear something just now?” She murmured nonchalantly, distracted first by his abs and then the thin pajama pants containing his very obvious desire. “Oh, fuck,” She uttered, not caring anymore.

Whatever. The worst it could be is Aunt Lorna and she’ll understand.

She sat up and grabbed the bottom of her undershirt. Sam reached out and grabbed the shirt too, but a split second before they began to pull she heard a quiet voice in her head remind her, Or it could be Dean?

A squeak on the bottom step made them both freeze and when they heard, “Sammy? That you?” they exchanged a look of mutual horror. They both knew he was going to be insufferable if he caught them together.

“Shit!” Sam hissed quietly, while George leaned forward quickly and gasped in pain at the sudden ache that radiated throughout her left side. “Are you ok?!” He whispered in concern.

She nodded quickly, waving him off and whispering with a frantic point, “Shirt!! Your shirt!”

“Sam? Are you up here?” Sam jumped into action, diving over the edge of the bed and grabbing his shirt, scrambling to put it on. Thinking quickly, George grabbed one of the pillows behind her and tossed it on the floor. Sam got the message and threw himself to the ground next to the bed with a clumsy thud. Suddenly he popped back up and leaned in, placing one final quick kiss on her lips before slipping back down into position hurriedly. George, trying to hide her giddy smile, carefully laid back, suddenly very aware of yesterday's injuries, and covered herself with the blanket.

Sam had just finished adjusting his pillow when Dean’s head popped into view from the staircase with a worried expression, “Sam?! Are you O--Oh!” Dean paused for a split second before walking the last two steps and looking between the two of them curiously. George noticed the other half of her mango scone from this morning in his left hand. Instead of mentioning it, she acted like she was wiping the sleep from her eyes, starting to fake yawn.

Trying to look like she was just waking up, she asked, “Dean? Hmm, what time is it?” She glanced down at her side and asked very casually, “Where’s Seen--er, Sam? Have you Sam him? Seen ham--Seem--Have You. Seen Sam?”

Smooth, she kicked herself.

“I--I’m here, still, George,” Sam piped up loudly. “Remember, I offered to stay here on the floor next to your bed until you fell asleep earlier? I guess I fell asleep, too! Oops. Remind me to ask your aunt where she gets her pillows,” He let out a forced, nervous laugh.

Dean, hardly listening, allowed them to ramble while he took in the sight of them, quietly contemplating his next move. These two drama students weren’t fooling anyone; it was clear to him that he’d interrupted something and it filled him with glee. He had serious news but this was like a christmas present hand wrapped by Santa himself. The kind of gift every big brother dreams of.

He asked curiously, “You both OK? I thought I heard some banging?”

George blushed and Sam shook his head, “Yaah--yup, we’re all good. Might have just been my feet kicking the closet.” Sam shifted his foot and gently kicked it a few times against the tiny closet door demonstratively. “Like I said, I’ve just been down here. On the floor. Helping George get some rest.”

“Mhm, he’s been a big help,” George affirmed with a slow, pointed nod. It was obvious Dean knew something was up. She tried her best to seem confident and nonchalant, but she couldn’t help tossing the innuendo out there.

“Cool,” Dean shark-mouthed quickly before shrugging, “well, listen it’s good that I caught the two of you together,” he paused for a split second, looking between them pointedly. Then he explained, “Ja--Ow!” He had shifted to the right causing the side of his head to knock into the slanted ceiling. George bit her lip to keep from snickering when he growled, “OK, did your aunt build this attic to house unwanted children or something?! What the hell!”

“What’s up, Dean?” Sam asked pointedly, clearly ready for him to shit or get off the pot.

“I might ask you the same thing,” He chuckled in response and then, seeing their matching threatening expressions, he informed them, “Jack’s awake.”

“What?!” Without thinking George leapt up off the end of the bed, careful to land where she’d be able to stand upright and ignoring the pain in her side. “He’s awake?!”

“Oh! Well, that’s not for me to see,” Dean muttered when he saw she was only dressed in a black undershirt and briefs. He instantly jerked his head up, smacking into the ceiling again. “Gah! Friggin dollhouse!”

George walked up to him, pausing briefly to ask with concern, “Is he OK??”

Dean, glancing down at her face before back up to the sky, answered, “He’s recovering. Wants to see you. Both.”

“Well move it, then!” She pushed past him and began descending the stairs.

“Georgia!” She stopped and turned back to look at Sam expectantly.

“Clothed maybe?” Dean suggested before Sam could speak.

“Pants!” Sam reminded her with a face palm.

George was too excited to care, explaining, “They’re downstairs!! Let’s go!” before taking off down the steps. Dean turned back to Sam, giving his brother a knowing smile while he, in turn, avoided eye contact.

Sam crawled around to the foot of the bed before standing up, so as not to hit his head on the ceiling. He steeled himself, trying to conjure up his most ‘NO’ expression, and walked over to Dean. When Sam finally met his eyes it was all he could do not to punch the giddy look off his face.

“Look--”

“Hey, you don’t need to explain anything to me, little brother,” Dean began, very empathetically. “I know you’re a gentleman. If you say all you did was sleep next to her on the floor, so she felt safe, I believe you.” He reached up to pat him on the arm a little too hard before turning and beginning to walk downstairs. About halfway down he turned and asked with a curious brow, “And I just assume wearing your shirt inside out is the latest style, right?”

Sam’s head snapped down to look at himself as Dean kept descending the stairs, chortling with glee. Noticing the pronounced seams around his neck Sam muttered a curse; quickly pulling the shirt off, tugging it right side out, and threw it back on as he followed them downstairs.

Sam walked out of the stairwell into the main room and saw Dean, alone, looking around curiously. A flushing toilet answered their silent mutual question a split second later. George emerged from the bathroom in dark blue jeans and a long sleeved pink and black plaid button down, with her black undershirt still underneath. Dressing had been a challenge but she was so excited that Jack was awake--meaning he was at least OK enough to be conscious--that she ignored the pain.

Gathering up her long hair and twisting it into a bun on top of her head, she ordered, “What are you putzs standing around for? Jack’s awake, let’s go!”

“You go ahead, I still need to change,” Sam stated, reaching down to the floor next to the chair for his duffle bag. “I’ll catch--” By the time he looked back up, he could see George through the front window, halfway to the house already. Dean trailed a few feet behind. “Up,” Sam finished with a sharp, accepting nod, heading for the bathroom to change.

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sneyrwrites · 4 years

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|2| |Ace| Levi Ackerman x Reader

✘Ace : BloodSport ✘

|Wordcount: 6081 | Previous: ✘

Inspiration Song : You’re gonna go far kid -The Offsprings

Even tho Annton didn’t lie when he took me to the abandoned house, he wasn’t completely honest.

Yes, it was true that the people who went to the fights as spectators placed bets on the fighters, but he failed to mention that the betters were nobles, from the high society, escorted by a few members of the Military Police and the Garrison. An enormous part of them even took their lovers along, girls way too young to be their wives, barely above 17 years old, wearing tight and colorful dresses, looking like they were about to assist to a big gala or something.

Eventually there was the middle class man in the crowd too, but The Basement was majority concurred by some of the most wealthy people inside the walls. Hypocrites that assisted with the sole purpose of satiating their thirst for depravation and violence . The basement was a place where everything was permitted, a law free zone where one could take the decency mask off, and just succumb to their most primal state of violence.

It was pretty obvious to anyone with more than two brain cells that the Basement wasn’t a proper place for a thirteen-year-old girl. The first time I stepped a foot in the dark room I almost peed my pants. Everything from my posture to my shaking hands screamed that I didn’t belong there, but the firm grip of Annton’s hand on my wrist impeded me to leave. I don’t even remember the wrestlers’s names, too focused on the stench circulating in the humid air to care about what was going on inside the circle. With thirteen years I didn’t recognize the smell, but at nineteen and with six years of experienced i was an expert pinpointing the metallic smell of blood mixed with the sweet touch of ale.

Men with expensive looking suits and their escorts filled the subterranean floor, their clothing contrasting with the dirt floors and the blackened walls because of the torches smoke, that gave what little ilummitation they could in the chamber. The spectators crowded around a white circle that was painted on the floor, elbowing one another to get to the front row, where the most sadistic hoped to get sprayed by the loser’s blood. Up and against the walls there were a few rows of bleachers, reserved to those who could afford it, they were a sign of wealth and status.

My first fight took place two weeks after Annton showed me the basement for the first time. When we were there they settled the date. One soldier from the military police had found another brat my age to face down. Apparently when two kids fought, it was a special treat, The basement hosting the double amount of people it usually would.

The last Saturday of September got earlier than expected. I had used my time to fiscally prepare, running laps and lifting heavy things I found around the house, doing sit-ups and pushups and all the exercises you could imagine. I hanged a pillowcase filled with heavy stuff to make it contendent and used it to practice my punches, trying to dodge the bag when it came back full force towards my nose. Keyword being ‘try’.

I tried to mimic the progression of hits my father had taught me in front of the mirror in the living room. My movements were sloppy, and my technic was nonexistent. There was no chance in hell I would win the fight. The fear was consuming me. If I came home with a black eye or a few teeth missing my father would notice just how fucked up i was, if I made it home after, Annton was prone to throw my sorry and beaten ass inside a prison cell as soon as i were conscious again. But the other option wasn’t good either, If I won the fight it implied beating another kid unconscious, another boy in the same predicament i was in.

An hour after my father left to the wall to keep guard i sneaked through the door, an old black cape that Mrs. Argón had given it to me a last winter draped around my shoulders, protecting me from the chilling wind. Annton had instructed me to take some spare clothes to fight with in a bag, so i packed the most basic things i had, a white tank top and some old black cotton pants that had a few holes on the lower end, so i ended up cutting them up at the knee.I also packed a pair of handwraps, the more injury’s i could avoid the better, that way it was easier to keep the fights a secret from dad.

The streets were silent and a layer of frost was forming in the windows I passed by. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have another way out. Annton was extorting me with prison time, but realistically I could run away and he would never find me, he didn’t have my address or my actual name, if I disappear it was game over.

Then why was I on my way to the lion’s den willingly? The idea of finally being able to stop begging on the streets for food was appealing. If I won I would get paid, besides for once in my life I was having the control over something, it didn’t matter that it could potentially get my nose rearranged. The fear was undeniable, it was there, lurking in the back on the back of my mind, but at thirteen years old I could be tempted by the idea of a better life.

At the end of the street, almost in front of Wall Rose I could distinguish Annton’s figure, leaning against a cart attached to two horses. The diver’s back was facing me, him not paying attention to us at all. The sound of my foots steps alerted Annton, who lifted his gaze from the ground and smiled at me.

“I thought you had backed down in the last minute.” He joked, I didn’t answer, the silence stretching between us. “Anyway, get in, it’s a long ride, the guards on the door knows about the event, so there’s no need to worry”

Without emitting a word I got in, Annton following right after. The sudden jerk of the cart because of the horses starting to run made me fall face first onto the wood planks. Heat crawled up my neck as Annton bursted out laughing. if the driver had reacted the same way, I would head dived out of the cart.

I got up and Annton grabbed me by the arm, trying to stabilize me.

“Thanks” I scoffed once I could finally sit on one of the apple crates that functioned as stools.

“You’re welcome kid” He said, looking at the narrow street we were traveling, leaving wall Rose behind.

The road seemed remotely familiar, the only other time I transited it I almost fainted from the panic, so i couldn’t recall much, a few buildings were familiar, but come on, every building was a copy of the one next to it.

The ride was lengthy, grazing the two hours of travel. Half of the time I spend it snoozing off, the constant rocking of the cart lulling me. Every now and then a rock on the wheel would shock me awake. Resigning my slumber, knowing full well I would not rest, i opted for talking to Annton. I could barely make out his face in the darkness, the moon nowhere to be found, only a few stars illuminating us.

“Annton...” I started, a grumble from him told me he was paying attention, so i continued “Who am I going against?”

Curiosity was one of my flaws. Ever since the date was settled I couldn’t stop imagining the fight.

“From what I’ve been told, you’re going against a kid from the underground city. “Annton turned to me " I think they found him fighting for food down there, the guard offered him money if he assisted the fight, and I heard there’s even the citizenship on the table.”

His words took the air out of my lungs. That kid had it ten times worse than me. A sudden wave of guilt hit me. Annton noticed my change of demeanour and he let out an exhausted sigh, rubbing his forehead.

“Why did I even opened my mouth…” The muttered words left his mouth" Listen kid, I choose you because I thought you were desperate enough, you are a decent fighter, you could handle yourself against a man almost the double of your age.” He said matter-of-factly. “If you feel even a little of remorse for that kid, he will break your nose. You two are not enemies, but he will not hesitate. He wouldn’t mind killing you if it meant he could take off from that shithole. Do you want to die? " I shook my head, stunned by his logic " Good, then you must fight. If you don’t fight you don’t win, and if you don’t win you won’t survive ¿Understood?

“What if I lose? " I asked, my voice low, almost imperceptible. Everything had been an awful idea. The whole “doing something for myself and taking the reins of my life” thing was going south.

“It all depends on how you loose. If it’s for you not trying, then I’ll find out the coward you really are and I’ll throw you in a cell to rot myself.” The harshness of his words slapped me across the face. “ However, if you lose from lack of experience, you’ll do better next time, and you’ll keep fighting until you can pay you debt.”

I nodded, understanding his words.

“I trust on you Ace, there’s a reason I chose you… Don’t let me down”

His words did something in my interior. Maybe it was because it was the first time someone had said anything like that to me. No one had had faith in me before. My resolution to fight came back ten times stronger.

I could do it, I was going to give my all into this fight, no matter what.

The remaining of the trip we spend it on silence, only stopping twice to switch horses. Before I even knew we were right in front of Sina.

We both got down from the cart and he dismissed the driver, setting the meeting point for the way back. Once the sound of the hooves dissipated in the distance Annton walked up to the concrete wall. He looked up and whistled like a bird. My eyebrows went up. What an amazing dumb skill to have. Another identical whistling responded, and an elevator started to descend, I could distinguish another person on it.

Once it got to the floor, a woman got out of it and throw herself into Annton’s arms, smashing their lips together. I could feel a blush invading my face, I wasn't used to those kinds of affection, and the level of intimacy they shared made me really uncomfortable. I adverted my eyes, trying to give them some privacy.

Once they separated Annton called me over, I walked over to them and he gestured towards the girl with his arm.

“Ace this is Hale, my… Friend” I couldn’t stop my sceptic look. Friends didn’t kiss that way from my understanding. Apparently she agreed with me because she slapped the back of his head, annoyed.

“Charming as ever Ann.” Her frown dissolved into a smile when her eyes found my own. “Oh god! You’re so pretty!” Her big blue eyes shone with enthusiasm. She grabbed my hand, leading me to the wooden lift. “Try to keep your face intact tonight. Let’s go”

With a pull on my arm, she got me inside. Annton following behind and closing the door.

“So… how’s Wall Rose doing Ann” Hale Aked, her black hair slapping me in the face because of the wind. I took her in, the patch on her jacket displaying a green unicorn. Military Police.

“Meh, same as always. There’s nothing interesting” Annton placed his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. “My last two weeks consisted on waiting for Ace’s first match” The excitement on his voice sounded authentic.

“First match? Oh honey, you must be so nervous.” One of her hands patted the top of my head “Don’t worry, we won’t leave you on your own. I’ll even bet on your favor.”

That didn’t help at all.

They kept talking and I shut them off. Once we were on the top of the wall another guy received us, greeting Annton with a friendly hug. He looked me up and down.

“So… this is the renowned Ace huh?” He said with a deep voice. “She’s smaller than what I pictured. How old are you, girl?”

“I’m thirteen…” I said, Annton looking at me with a shocked expression.

“Shit Ace! Why didn’t you said anything!? You’re still a kid, i woul’ve thought twife before offering the deal.” Since when was he considerate " I thouth you were at least fifteen.”

“Dean is fifteen” Said the other guy " Though luck Ann, seems like you made a poor decision” He chuckled, palming Annton’s back.

Annton rubbed his face with his hands a few times and he sent a confident smile my way .

" As if. Ace is going to kick his ass. Right, kid?” I didn’t answer, this asshole was sending me to my doom.

“That’s Enogh Ivo. Don’t try scare her. Cant you see she’s already nervous? " Hale intervined, tying to defend me.

Ivo got down to my level. He was big, enormous, around 6’2. His hand found a place in the top of my head, petting it as if I was a dog. With him in that position I could appreciate his features. His green eyes studying me with the same intensity as I was. He couldn't be older than nineteen, his face was young, without a beard or wrinkles, only smooth and healthy looking skin.

" I’m sorry kid, I know you will be just fine” He pissed me off. He was underestimating me, and with a reason, but still, it was annoying.

I slapped his hand away.

“Thanks.” I said dryly. Annton and Hale laughing at Ivo’s flabbergasted expression.

“Huh… she’s got an attitude, I like it. She’s definitely going to be okay.” He said, getting up. He turned to the couple. “I wouldn’t be too worried about her.”

The four of us descended to the other side of the wall. I limited myself to observing them. Anyone could see they got along just fine, as they were comfortable with each other, joking around and pushing one another. A longing feeling made its way into my chest. I never had the chance to make friends, with my father often away and my constant begging on the street’s there wasn’t much time left to socialize.

Hale turned my way and smiled at me. Almost on instinct I smiled back, and hers grew bigger. She was young too, around the same age as Ivo. The doubt on how these three soldiers ended up on the illegal world of The Basement was eating me away, but i tried to ignore it.

As I was walking down the streets of the wealthy town I realize just how much of an outcast I was. The children with lucky enogh to have been born inside wall Sina would never have to go through what I had. The exasperating need, and the dependence on other people’s goodwill to survive.

Annton was guiding the group, leading the way in the dark as if he knew it like the back of his hand. We made it to the entrance of a tunnel and without missing a beat he got in, descending the steps.

A long and dark hallway stretched out in front of us, seemingly going on forever. We made our way in silence, the only sound was the tapping of our footsteps on the stone floor.

“This tunnel connects with the ones leading to the underground city. “ Hale’s voice broke the quiet " The basement is right in the middle. You’ll know when we get there” Her hand found my shoulder in the dark and she squeezed it, comforting me.

Hale was right. After fifteen minutes i could hear the commotion. Lug voices and laughs, people stomping their feet in sync, almost like a heartbeat.

“Seems like they already started” Said Annton, quickening his pace.

“Come on Honey, you need to get ready. We better hurry” Hale took my hand and made me follow her lead, mi shorter legs trying to keep up.

I could see a few feet away the light of a torch slicing through the darkness. As we got closer, the fuss grew louder.

Once we got there I noticed a hole in the wall, almost as if someone knocked the tunnel wall with a hammer. Next to the jagged edges of the entrance there were two metal rings that supported the torches.

Annton got inside, with Ivo following behind him with a spring in his steps.

I hesitated for a moment. Hale clenched my hand, giving me a little of security.

“Be careful, there’s a step.” She said, smiling at me.” Don’t worry Ace, I’ll be right behind you.”

I took a deep breath in and I felt around with my foot until I found the step she mentioned. A few steps in and a heavy curtain stopped me in my tracks, the deep red colour out of tune with the gray of the walls. A man was in front of it.

“Hey Mick” Greeted Hale

He nodded in acknowledgement.

“Who’s the brat?” He asked, a thick finger pointing at me. “Spectator or Youngblood?”

“This is Ace.” She said. It only took my fake name for him to let us trough, stepping away from the opening on the curtains. I looked perplexed at her and she just winked an eye at me. I thanked the wardrobe of a man, and he nodded once again. A man of few words it seemed. " The perks of being a competitor”

“How did he knew my name?” It was the first time I saw the man. The first time i assisted we entered trough another set of tunnels on the other side of the city, the ones the nobles used.

“Annton putted you on the list, the guards memorize the names to make sure no one who shouldnt be here get’s in, otherwise the business could be ruined.” Hale had to raise her voice above the cheering of the swarm of nobles.

The place was packed, everyone crowded around the circle where two girls were sparring. A knot formed in my stomach with only watching them, and I tear my gaze from them quickly. Swallowing was hard, the nerves getting the best of me. Hale noticed my anxiety, and taking my hand she dragged me to a less transited area.

“Let’s go to the backrooms so you can get ready. Okay?” She didn’t wait for my anser and she dragged me straight to the opposite end of the place.

The backrooms where only a few small compartments with the same heavy fabric as the entrance separating them from the rest of The Basement. I touched the curtains with the tip of my finger, and my eyes opened like saucers. It was velvet. Someone had to sell their kidneys to afford them. Velvet was expensive as hell, a luxury only a few could pay for.

Throwing my embarrassment out of the window, I took the fabric to my face, petting my cheek with the soft material. It was almost like touching a cloud. My pillow back at home seemed filled with nails in comparison.

Hale noticed my amazement and giggled.

“Those were donated by Lord Reiss. He comes around quite often” She said ”You better get changed, there are only two fights left before yours, and for what I could tell, this one is about to end.” As soon as the word left her lips, the sound of a gong filled the air, which I supposed it meant the end of the match.

Once I was in my comfortable clothes, I took the handwraps and tried to wrap my joints, but they came undone each time I tried. The injuries on my knuckles had healed, a fresh layer of slightly pink skin covering them. The scars would stay there for sure, but oh well, what could you do?

When she saw me struggling with the wraps Hale took them from my hands and proceeded to do it herself. Her fingers worked expertly on my hands, tightening the fabric just the right amount, trying not to constrict the blood flow too much. When she finished with both of my hands, she gave me a friendly squeeze.

“Your hands are freezing.” Hale stated, rubbing my fingers i between her hands, trying to warm them up. “It must be the nerves”

I nodded.

“You know you can talk to me if you want to, right?” Her eyes were gentle.

“Yes, it’s just that I’m a little anxious, I don’t want Annton to regret his decision” I expressed my fear out loud for the first time. Hale’s grip on my hands tightened up.

“I know it seems like Annton is only getting advantage from you. But ever since he found you he wouldn’t shut up about how excited he was for your fight“ She said. “I don’t want you to think I’m only defending him because we’re together. But Annton knows what is like to live on the streets, and when he saw you I think you reminded him of his past. It’s not my story to tell, but by bringing you here he is, on his own twisted way, trying to help you. If you win you get paid, and that’s better than not knowing when you’re going to eat tomorrow or not.”

Shit. So Annton wasn’t only interested in the money. A new flame of determination ignited in my chest. I was not only going to win for myself, i would do it for Annton and his younger self too. I didn’t understand how a young and beautiful girl could be interested in someone much older than her.

“Come here, let me braid your hair, if it’s loose like that someone could grab it, and trust me, it’s not a nice feeling.” Her hands digged into my hair, braiding it with an amazing level of skill.

I couldn't hold back my curiosity any longer.

“Hale, How old are you guys?… Isn’t Annton a little too old,” I asked. “Not like there’s anything wrong with that… it’s just that i found it a little odd… not that it’s odd.” I was just rambling, too embarrassed to think straight.

She bursted out laughing. The shame intensified.

“You’re funny, Ace.” She said, finishing the braid, letting it fall over my shoulder, a simple ribbon holding it together. The intricate pattern that she twisted the hairlocks in brought a smile to my lips.

I had never learnt how to braid my hair. With a decease mother and living with a grown up man who barely knew how to wash his own socks I never had the chance to.

I turned to face her, and she had moved to the wall, leaning against it, watching me, amused from my previous nonsense.

“Annton is twenty-one” My eyes opened with surprise, damn he was rough on the edges. Hale laughed at my expression. “I know what you’re thinking, but try not to mention it, he’s sensitive about his looks. Ivo and I both are twenty years old. The three of us had been together since we joined the military, and we’re as close as we were back then.” I nodded in understanding.

Hale opened her mouth, about to sai something only to be interrupted by the gong.

The fear rushed through my body, chilling my core. It was my turn, the time had come. I was supposed to go out there and beat some other kid, and I thought I was ready, but my feet were nailed to the ground for some reason. I was unable to move.

Hale’s arm circled me.

“Hey Ace, don’t worry. Annton Ivo and I are going to be on the crowd, and if things get ugly, Hitch will stop the fight.” She shook me a little, almost like she was trying to get the anxiety out of my body, and snapped me out of my trance. “You’re going to do just fine. And if not then it’s all right, you get up and you try again. If you don’t fight, you can’t win.”

Her last sentence brought me back to my conversation with Annton in the cart, and the deep desire to make him proud gave me the strength I needed.

I felt like I could understand Annton a little better he wasn’t mean only for the sake of it, it was his way of helping me out. He was projecting his younger self on me, he wanted to be for me the person he needed so desperately and didn’t have.

With a leveling breath I stepped out of the backroom. I wasn’t sure of what i had to do, but Hale didn’t leave my side. Holding my hand, she pushed her way through the sea of bodies, until we reached the front row, almost inside the circle. In the middle of it there was a man with the Military Police uniform on.

His presence was imposing. Standing taller than Ivo, around the six foot five inches, he smiled at the roaring crows, mischief shining in his eyes. He took his hands to his face and shouted.

“Are you ready!?” The response from the mob was deafening.

Shoulders collided with mine, making me lose my balance. My eyes searched the rows of heads. Right in front of us Ivo and Annton were making their way trough, pushing and insulting the guards that tried to resist them. Once his eyes found us, Annton Smiles at me and nodded one time, Ivo on the other hand screamed my name at the top of his lungs, clapping along.

A chuckle slipped trough my lips. For once in my life I had someone cheering for me, instead of pitying me. A warm feeling made its way through my chest. I was not about to spoil the start of something good.

The guard on the circle opened his mouth once more

“I said… Are you ready!?” This time my cheers joined the rest, my hands up in the air.

The warm laugh of Hale resonated by my side, and my eyes were on the other two dorks, my smile widening when I saw them laugh too.

“Tonight we have a little treat for all of you.” The crowd went wild again, and Hitch tried to calm them down with a finger on his lips, his other hand signaling them to quiet down.” I know, I know. You must be wondering Hitch? What are you talking about? " The smile on his voice was obvious " We have two youngbloods in here tonight, and they’re going to fight for the first time in The Basement” If I thought the spectators were nuts before now they reached a new level, jumping around, and pushing one another. y eyes went to the bleachers, where a few nobles were nodding their heads, leaning forward with interest.

“Is Dean anywhere around?” Hitch asked.

From the far end of the crowd a figure was coming trough as the people kept screaming. He shoved Ivo and Ann away with his hands and he got into the circle.

Dean was fifteen, but he could easily pass by as a thirteen year old. I knew about the rumors of the habitants of the underground city. Because of the lack of sunlight they didn’t grow that much, Dean was barely half an inch taller than me, his body build almost the same as mine, the only thing that told us apart was his eyes. There was no doubt on them, he had his eyes on the prize ad he was going for it.

The people chanted his name as Hitched grabbed him by the wrist and parade him around the circle. When he passed by me he winked an eye at me and he sent a crooked smile my way.

“Oh honey, I think he is underestimating you, so you better go out there and kick his butt.” Hale shook my shoulders.

A fraction of my stress dissipated with her light tone.

“Alright alright.” Hitch returned to the middle, Dean right behind him. “Is Ace in here with us tonight?”

When i heard my name i didn’t even had the chance to react, Hale’s hand shoving me forward, almost making me fall face first. I thought I heard a ‘Sorry’ from her, but I couldn’t be sure, the roaring crowd drowning her voice.

Hitch repeated the same process of circling me around, some people clapped and cheered me on, others looked at me from head to toe, their eyes screaming what their mouth didn't. They thought I was going to be crushed by Dean.

When I passed by them Ann and Ivo extended their hands, and I gave them a high-five.

Once we were done Hitch placed me in front of Dean. His green eyes analyzed me, sizing me up. The thought of how many times had he found himself in the same position, jus about to fight in the crime-ridden underground city? His black hair fell on his forehead, a few loose curls brushing his brow. I trailed down my eyes and i noticed his shirt was nowhere to be found, I tried not to let it affect me, but i couldn’t help my lingering gaze on the pale skin of his chest. Dean noticed it and he smiled brighter, a set of dimples on his face.

“You like what you see Girl?” He asked, getting inside my personal space, his voice barely above a whisper, only for me to hear. Hitched grabbed his face with a hand and pushed him away.

“Leave the teasing for later Boy” Hitched laughed “Rules are simple kids. No biting, unless you want to sweetheart” he winked “No low blows, no spitting, and leave the claws for another occasion. The fight stops when one of you can't keep up or gives up. Fists up, and clash them.” He took a few steps back.

Dean’s wrapped up hands collided with mines with a little more force than necessary. it was his way of intimidating me. And it was working.

Without another word, Hitch signaled the start of the match with a gesture of his hand.

I raised my guard up as Dean got closer to me, the nerves bubbling up in my tummy. Three blows made their way to my face, but I avoided them, messily and with no technique whatsoever, but they hadn't strike my head, so i was satisfied.

People’s screams were loud, spitting loose words like “Come on” And “Hit him” into the air.

I tried to throw a punch to Dean’s face, but he took my arm and swiped my feet from under me. My back collided with the ground and my spine reverberated from the impact. He lifted his fist and directed it to my head, trying to knock me out, but I rolled away and jumped to my feet. The crowd was roaring his name and he took a step back, spreading his arms, as saying ‘What are you waiting for?’

“Come on cutie, we don’t have all night.” he said, his guard up once again.

I din’t respond, too busy searching for an opening. With two steps he was infront of me, winging a punch to my face, i dodge it, but the moment i did his hands grabbed me by the soulders, and he brought his knee up, smashing it against my abdomen, the pain exploded. I thought he woul let me go after one punch, but he kept going. i needed to get him off of me and fast.

I resisted on last knee and when he retreated his leg to throw another i traped his elbow against his chest, linking my free arm around his other arm i twisted my hips and bended my legs, sending him to the floor with a heavy thud. Ivo’s cheer made it’s way to my ears, but i didn’t have much time to rejoice on my little victory.

My stomach was aching from the blows and i could feel a bruise forming. Dean got up and started to throw one fist after the other, all to my head. I waked back, trying to avoid them, until the hands from the spentators stopped me.

“Don’t go out of the circle, sweetheart. First warning.” Hitch’s voice sounded, but I barely registered what he said.

A fist punished my cheek and I felt the skin tearing, the warm and slow trickle of my blood going down the side of my face. It was going to hurt in the morning, but at the moment the adrenaline rush subdued the pain.

His merciless blows came fast and steady. I would like to say I dodge them all, but I would be lying.

Dean was repetitive and predictable, so taking my chance when he retracted his fist I took a step forward, going under his arms and flooring him.

Once we both were on the floor, I immobilized him with my weight and threw punches at his face. A few of them impacted, but the big majority didn’t get through, his arms covering his head. I made the mistake of letting my arms too far away from my face, and Dean shot his arm up, hitting me straight in the chin. I fell sideways, and the taste of blood was in my mouth.

Shaking my head I got up and lifted my arms, covering my bruised face, Dean rushed to me and threw a right hook, trying to hit my temple, but I blocked it with my elbow, grabbing the back of my neck. The impulse of his blow made him end up in my personal space, so I smashed my opposite elbow straight into his nose. The crunch raised the hairs on the back of my neck, and the blood started to gush out.

Screaming with pain Dean grabbed his face, and at the moment he took a step back I kicked him in the middle of his chest, sending him on his back to the floor, his head hitting hard against the floor, disorienting him. With a conviction I didn’t know I had I threw my body into his, my hips holding him still, and as if he was the same drunken bastard from the alleyway, my fists unloaded all of my weight into his face.

The whines of pain that came out of his mouth made my heart coil with guilt, but it was a fight, we both had agreed to it and he had no problem on beating me senseless. I closed my eyes and kept going, waiting for Hitch to put a stop to the fight, Dean wasn’t even defending himself anymore.

A heavy hand on my shoulder halted my movements. The gong sounded and the screaming from the crowd erupted.

Once I was on my feet Hitch grabbed my wrist and lifted my arm in signal of victory, a dull ache traveling through my limb.

The spectators got into the circle surrounding me. Congratulations and praises were said by unknown faces, the shiny jewelry on their necks blinding me slightly. Slaps on my back and shoulders were delivered my way as well as a few jars with ale. I felt lost, Hale and the others were nowhere to be found. With a shot stature I felt like I was drowning, the high from the fight retreating, causing the pulsating pain on my face and torso to surface.

Out of the blue a pair of hands grabbed me from under my arms, lifting me up in the air, and putting me down on someone’s shoulders. When I looked down, I recognized Ivo’s dark hair. From my new perspective I founded Hale and Ann out of the crowd.

With a few long strides Ivo made his way to them, leaving the exited mob behind.

Annton had an arm around Hale’s waist, and a smile on his face. Hale was the first to speak.

“Ace! You listened to me and kicked his butt!” She clapped, like a little girl high on sugar “I told you it would be fine”

“Thank you” I said, still on Ivo’s shoulders, he was not putting me down.

He patted my calf, calling my attention.

“Now let’s go get the prize!” He exclaimed, rubbing his hands together, almost tasting the money.

Before the giant i was on could turn around Annton called me.

“Hey Ace!” My eyes took in his gentle expression " Nice work you did…You’re gonna go far Kid”

I smiled at him, grateful. Ivo turned around, taking me to the women who recollected the bets.

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@regalillegal Omg, i hope this is what you meant for “Tagging”, i’m new on the blogging thing. Sorry i’m such a mess ;u;

#Ace levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #fanfic #levi x reader #chaptered #attack on titan reader insert #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #Reader insert #Levi x Ace

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paradisecost · 4 years

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TIMELINE: ATTICUS

Are you ready for 1600 words of Atticus lore? Then BOY HOWDY do I have some good news for you. I ran out of steam by the time I hit the last few verses so they have way less detail, but whATEVER. I’ve also completely skimmed over so many details (like Atticus’ lingering issues with being cut off from his Indigenous heritage; his father’s disappearance; his relationships with various friends and lovers throughout his life; some of the shit he did and witnessed throughout his time with the gang and in order to escape them; etc) because otherwise the word count would be RIDICULOUS.

Note: There’s no set time period for this. A lot of Atticus’ mainverse is tagged as “v: age of sail” for the convenience of keeping most of my verses vaguely within the Black Sails timeline (1705-1720 usually) but realistically these are probably within the 1800s somewhere. The real question is: who gives a shit, it’s MY sandbox and history is what I say it is.

Under the cut for length. Warnings include talk of gangs, gang life, and so on.

Note: This is VERY much a work in progress and almost no detail has really been hammered out, especially regarding Atticus' time as an outlaw within the gang since I have a lot of research to do in that area (since I know more about modern gangs and cult dynamics than Ye Olde ones). Nonetheless, all of these verses are open for interaction/asks/etc - though verses marked as (intermission) or (segue) really exist more to bridge some verses together.

v: before it all (childhood) (0-13)

Atticus' early, pre-outlaw life, spanning from his birth to the age of about 12-13. He lives with his mother and sister in a small town in the middle of buckass nowhere; his father visits once a year or so up until Atticus is about 10, when he mysteriously stops coming. It isn't long after this that Atticus first becomes involved with the [redacted] gang, likely through befriending one of the younger members by accident. By the time he's about 12, he's built up a steadfast trust and codependence on the group - and his relationship with his mother has steeply declined, in part due to her reticence about his Native father and determination to erase any non-Whiteness from their children, and in part because of how vehemently she opposes his involvement with the gang.

v: drinking the water (gang member) (12-28)

Spans around eight years, from when Atticus is 12-13 to roughly 20-28. Atticus is ass-deep in the cult-like dynamic of the gang and has lost all contact with his mother, though he and his sister exchange letters here and there. He is extremely loyal to the group and considers them 'his people', is inherently distrustful of outsiders and has precisely no interest in living amongst them.

Grievances with the gang's behaviour towards both him and others start accumulating, however, when Atticus is about 18-20. They start off small, but as his sense of self develops and he starts to get more of a feel for who he is as a person, the problems start building up. This may be in part due to exposure to other dissenting members of the group who were swiftly either disposed of or, uh, re-educated; Atticus did not like seeing that shit At All despite his usual cognitive dissonance.

That isn't by any means the only factor; as he gets older, he's also granted significantly more freedom, which results in exposure to all kinds of people and places that he simply wasn't aware of as a kid. By the time he's about 25, he knows for sure that the life they're living now isn't one he wants to keep, but you don't simply leave a gang like that. It takes him a couple more years to a) figure out some kind of plan and b) gather the resources, courage, and knowledge he'll need to pull it off and live.

v: the aftermath (post gang) (28-30)

Somehow, Atticus finds his way out of cult-gang hell. There are no dramatics involved - he simply disappears during a hunt one day, to arouse the least suspicion. Unfortunately, he wasn't alone on the hunt- the gang's leader had sent someone along with him to keep an eye on him, as (unbeknownst to Atticus) his growing resentment and flightiness had not gone unnoticed by the rest of the group. It's likely that the person sent with him was someone Atticus liked a great deal, as the leader hoped that this would dissuade him from doing anything stupid to get away--

--but needless to say, they were later found dead in the woods, and Atticus was gone. He spent the next two years flitting around as much as possible, trying to get as far away as he could. The gang sent out hunts for him, of course- at first with the intention of simply talking to him and seeing if they could persuade him to come back. After Atticus started killing them off, they sent out searches for him with significantly less friendly intentions.

It's during this time that he takes on the name Atticus as his own. No forename/surname: just Atticus, or Mr. Atticus if folks are feeling polite. It's also during this time that he acquires Bad Jim, a black and white horse that accompanies him for the next several years, often as his sole companion. He buys Bad Jim (then unnamed) from a horse trader entirely legitimately, but pays an absurd amount for him because the trader--according to Atticus--had "clocked [him] as a wanted fella of some sort and wanted to capitalize on his desperation".

(The truth is a little different: the trader had, indeed, clocked him as a wanted man, but he raised the price of the horse to compensate himself for the risk of selling a horse to a possible felon).

It’s during this time that he meets The Captain--then called Amelia--for the first time; the two stay in contact for the remainer of Atticus’ life.

The gang stops actively searching for him about a year and a half in, though Atticus still doesn't let his guard down for a good couple of years afterwards. During this time, higher-ranking members of the gang begin to spread the story that Atticus is dead. In later years, this story will become that Atticus never existed - younger members who join later on have no idea who he is, as to their knowledge, no-one escapes the gang and lives.

v: solo outlaw (30-36)

No longer quite so intensely on the run from the gang, Atticus encounters a problem: he is definitely still wanted by various authorities for his involvement with them. Not only that, but he has no damn idea how to exist outside of them. He makes a few token attempts at honest work--tries taking odd jobs for people, herds cattle and has a brief stint as a stableboy--but in the end, he just can't take to it. Within a few months, he's more or less going off the rails: where before he'd at least tried to steer himself towards being what he thought of as a Good Man(TM), he repeatedly finds himself committing actions he would abhor from anyone else. He tries real hard to find some kind of moral balance between doing what he's good at and doing what he wants to be good at, but alas, the poor bastard's more or less on his own and having a shit time of it.

Other than that, no fucking idea about the details of this verse. He's an outlaw still - he's just on his own instead of with a gang, and more often than not, he takes on jobs from people who need someone killed or threatened.

It's during this time (when he’s about 32) that he meets the woman who eventually becomes Icarus' mother. There's no immediate spark, nothing like that; she neither trusts nor likes him at first. It's when he tells her--a half-Black, half-Indigenous woman--that his father was Indigenous that she first gives him the time of day, and it's long after that, when he talks about his feelings of inbetween-ness and his frustration at being cut off from half of his heritage that she starts to actually warm to him even platonically.

Icarus is born soon afterwards, but by then, Atticus and [I'll think of a name one day]'s relationship has already begun to... not deteriorate, exactly, but shift. They were never really in love to begin with so much as they were good friends who found a comfort in one another they couldn’t find elsewhere.

Anyway the point is, they separate when Icarus is still very small; Atticus is losing direction and feels as stuck as he did before, and his presence is causing more problems than it solves. He vows to stay in touch, though, and he does- and later in life, much of the money he makes from bounty-hunting goes back to his friend and their kid.

It's towards the end of this verse that Bad Jim is killed in combat, during a run-in with Atticus' old gang - specifically some newer, younger members of it that don't know him, but Atticus is able to recognise them. The horse falls atop Atticus as it dies and essentially crushes him to the ground- he's only saved from being completely crushed by the overturned wagon beside him that takes some of Bad Jim's weight. Despite still sustaining severe injuries from it, Bad Jim's death saves Atticus' life: he has no choice but to play dead until the shooting's over and the smoke clears. The gang members give him a cursory check to see if he's dead, but given that they have no idea who Atticus is, they have no reason to do anything but check and move on.

v: in recovery (intermission) (36-38)

It takes Atticus a long time to recover from the injuries sustained in the fight that took Bad Jim; he's essentially forced to find somewhere to lie low and recuperate, and has to rely on the kindness of strangers and mere acquaintances during it.

Towards the end of this time, he also acquires the dog that now accompanies him almost everywhere; an Anatolian Shepherd I still don’t have a name for.

v: bounty hunter (segue) (38-42)

TL;DR; Having recognised that he Fucking Hates being an outlaw but isn't much good at anything else, Atticus finds a compromise: he becomes a bounty hunter, straddling both sides of the law at once.

It's during this time that he he meets Isaiah, who helps him out of several rough patches.

v: bounty hunter (42+)

Just the previous verse but at the default ‘canon’ point in the timeline sdkfjnsdjfkn. All interactions take place in this verse by default, which is often also tagged as "v: age of sail (atticus)". Local cowboy is a sort of bounty hunter, blahblahblah.

#facts: atticus #verses: atticus

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connorandersons-blog · 5 years

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Elevator

Gavin Reed and Connor get stuck in an elevator. Turns out Gavin is claustrophobic and Connor has to help him through it!

PG, and panic attacks

Word Count: 7,924

Normal text: Me Italicized: @phcking-coffee-lover

The crime scene had been bloody, but nothing he hadn't seen before. As far as he could tell it was a simple murder, and perhaps hate crime.

A dead android killed from a beating. It appeared that the murderer lured the android to the building and killed them with a rusty pipe. It was an old building so he probably didn't bring it with him.

There wasn't much evidence, just shoe prints, and gloves that the killer wore. Premeditated then. That did make it harder, as there weren't any active cameras, but he was sure he could solve this.

Once he had checked every room and collected all the evidence he could (and got yelled at by Hank for licking things once again) he moved towards the elevator. Hank was staying behind to talk to Chris, so he was on his own.

He pressed the button to call the elevator and waited. The elevator was slow, but he didn't mind waiting. He simply just went over the information he knew about the case.

Gavin was on the other floor looming around to see if there was any sign of the murder escape. He found none. He checked each apartment and windows on the corridor.

He then was about to head back to the office to do more work and then finally head home after 10 days of work. He froze when he saw Connor but just walked in and pressed the button to start the elevator.

He leaned against the wall and sighed at how slow it was. The music was boring and he wanted to finally get out.

Connor only paused for a second seeing Reed, but he followed him in anyways. He didn't want to wait for it to go all the way down and back up just because he didn't get along with someone. " Detective Reed." He simply said in greeting.

So he stepped in and waited for the doors to close. He fixed the tie that he still wore. He no longer wore the jacket, but the rest of his outfit stayed the same most days.

He stood there with his posture perfect, glancing at Reed. He wouldn't deny that he was pleasant to look at. He could also appreciate that even with all his faults, Reed was a very good detective.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the elevator jerking. The lights flickered for a second before the elevator completely stopped. Perfect. This is just what he needed.

Gavin was just staring at the floor, getting away the thoughts of being in so small place. He swallowed lightly and tried to don't think about it. He just wished the elevator was faster. /More/ faster.

He didn't react at the greeting, just usual asshole he was or acted like. He looked up at the jerk and shouted in surprise. He frowned and looked around. "Phck. What did you do?!" He shouted at Connor and glared at the android.

"Get the elevator going again!" He shouted as he stared at Connor. He wished it will be over soon. He didn't want to freak out. It was already getting hard for him to breathe.

He was barely stopping himself from freaking out and trying to bang at the elevator's door.

Connor rolled his eyes when Gavin accused him of doing something. Sure he could have, but he didn't. He was just standing there.

"Detective, I'm not a repairman, nor am I equipped to do so. I have contacted others to inform them of our situation, though." He doesn't know if this will take long or not.

If he absolutely had to, he could get them out. That would be dangerous if someone started repairing it. If the elevator started moving while they were escaping it could cause serious injury to both of them.

He could tell Reed was slightly panicking but considered that normal in this situation. Humans often didn't like being trapped, and he didn't blame them. Being trapped in a small space where they could easily plummet to their death was frightening.

He didn't let it get to him, though. He knew that they'd get help, and it would take at most a few hours depending on the reason for the sudden stop.

He did notice Reed's breathing, which if continued could become dangerous. "Detective, I'm sure someone will come to repair it soon. There is no need to worry."

Gavin groaned at android's explanation and stopped himself from punching the wall of the elevator. He swallowed and leaned against the wall trying to calm down his thoughts.

He went silent and just stared at the floor, not caring what the other told him. He had to stay calm, he began taking a bit deeper breaths and wrapped his arms around himself to don't show he shaking.

He wasn't looking around to don't see where he was. He even closed his eyes trying to imagine himself at home with cats around him. It might help for a while but he had to have Plan B.

Connor watched curiously. Human emotions were still new to him and he found it fascinating to see. He could tell Reed's stress level was higher than regular.

Was he supposed to do something? He no longer had clear objectives given to him. He had free will. He could just sit in the corner and ignore Gavin if he wanted.

He didn't want to do that, though. He didn't really know what he wanted to do, but it wasn't that.

He blinked a few times as he got the notification. The news wasn't ideal, but it made sense. After all, they were at a crime scene in the middle of the night.

"Detective, I have just been informed that it will take at least an hour before someone is available to come to fix the elevator." He assumed that they'd have to be in it for at least two hours. Probably three if he was being realistic. Again, not ideal but it could be a lot worse.

Gavin swallowed and nodded at the information. He shook lightly as he felt like there was no air in the elevator. He put a hand on his own chest and tried to calm down. He felt bad. He couldn't breathe! Where was all the air?!

He opened his eyes, he had panic in them and looked around. His vision was swimming around. He gritted his teeth and swallowed. He knew what was happening.

He sat down on the floor as he didn't want to stand. His legs were weak and shaky. He swallowed and gasped for breath. It felt like all the air disappeared.

He choked on his breath and put his head on the knees. He was scared and panicking. He was shaking and couldn't stop it at all. He looked around and felt like the walls were moving, trying to crush him.

Connor felt his own panic rise, but now it was for Reed's wellbeing. He loaded up protocols on how to help.

From what he could tell, Gavin was having a panic attack. There could be multiple reasons, but most likely it was due to claustrophobia. It was a very common fear but also hard to deal with.

Normally to help you remove the person from the small space, but that wasn't a viable option in this case.

So he knelt down in front of Gavin and tried to make himself as non-threatening as possible.

"Reed? I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?" He asked softly. Sure they didn't get along, but that didn't mean he wanted Gavin to suffer.

Gavin gasped again and tried to curl up around himself. He felt like he was being crushed. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes tightly. He began gripping his hair and nearly ripping them.

He tried to take in some breath but just couldn't feel the air in his lungs. He looked up at Connor at his voice and tried to say something.

He looked away as he let out only a whimper and felt his lungs hurting. He still could see the walls moving closer and slowly trying to crash him.

He tried so hard to say something but it all just hurt to try. He choked again and curled up more.

This definitely wasn't good. He needed Gavin at least somewhat calm while they waited.

So he took a risk. "Gavin. I'm going to touch you, ok?" Then he gently touched his hand that gripped his hair. He tried to make him loosen the grip without using force.

With the other, he rubbed soothing circles onto Gavin's knee. Physical contact could go two ways.

Some humans and androids react well to it, finding it comforting and grounding.

Or, it could just make things worse. He really hoped it was the first option.

"What you are feeling is scary, but it is not dangerous. Do you think you can copy my breathing?" He asked.

He didn't need to breathe, but it had become a habit. Before it was just to sleep himself cool and to help him blend in with humans. Sometimes he felt his breath catch and the feeling of not being able to breathe, but it never would actually affect him the way it would to humans.

Gavin listened but he seemed like he didn't hear it. He swallowed and closed his eyes tighter. He jumped lightly at the touch but then little by little his body began relaxing.

He swallowed and loosened his grip on his hair. He opened his eyes lightly and looked at Connor's chest. Soon his own chest began rising and falling in the rhythm of the other's breath.

He swallowed as he just looked at it with still a little bit panicked expression but was calmer. His breath was still a little bit shaky.

When he was already a bit calmer he looked up at Connor slowly. His eyes are a bit red in the edges. Did he cry? He looked at Connor and his shaking slowly calmed down.

He was glad it seemed to be working. He kept his hands on Gavin, taking one of Gavin's hands in his.

"Concentrate on your breathing. Stay in the present. You're doing really well," He praised.

It was a bit uncomfortable crouching on his feet, so he fully sat down on his legs. He was close enough that he could hug Gavin if he pulled him in, but far enough away that it shouldn't affect his claustrophobia.

"What else can I do? What do you need?" He didn't have anything with him except himself.

He could sing, and he could replicate famous singer's voices so he'd sound good. He hasn't actually tried to sing before.

He also had plenty of stories he could tell, though that protocol was generally meant for children. He wouldn't mind doing that if that's what Gavin needed.

Gavin took in a few shaky breaths and looked at the ground slowly. He relaxed a bit more as slowly he took his hands away from his hair.

He uncurled a little bit and sighed somewhat in relief. He swallowed and closed his eyes. How could he do it in front of Connor? He was so stupid! Why couldn't he keep it in?! Now Connor knew how weak he was!

He swallowed lightly and closed his eyes as he put his head on his knees. He seemed a little bit sleepy and still shook a little. Maybe he might be cold? He didn't have much on himself as for winter? Maybe he had something in the car and forgot?

He tried to ignore Connor's presence but... It just helped in calming down... He wished he could lean into the warmth and just drift off to sleep but he had his pride still. Plus. Connor began to smell like Hank so he didn't want to remember what happened after Cole's death.

Gavin still wasn't talking, but that wasn't completely odd. He was still calmer than before so he took that as a win.

He moved his hand away from Gavin's knee and instead rubbed circles onto his back.

"Can you talk? If not that's ok too. I just need to know if there is anything I can do or something I shouldn't do." He did send a message to Hank asking them to hurry up.

It wouldn't do anything, but he hated feeling like he was useless. After this, he'd download programs to help fix machinery, just in case.

Gavin shook his head lightly and looked down at the ground. He sighed and didn't look at Connor. He felt embarrassed about this whole situation.

He didn't want Connor to think he was weak. He strangely wanted to impress him. He didn't know why though. He closed his eyes slowly and tried to relax even more but jumped and gasped as the elevator jumped lightly.

His breath got a little faster as he got scared. Were they going to fall? He gripped his pants with one hand and the other was gripping Connor's jacket unaware.

He had wide eyes as the light in the elevator began blinking. He curled up and closed his eyes as he just tried to don't freak out again. He didn't want to fall.

He hummed when Gavin shook his head. He could work with this.

He only flinched slightly when the elevator jerked. He did a quick scan. Nothing serious, thankfully.

He was slightly shocked at the hand gripping his jacket. Then he took another risk and pulled Gavin into a hug.

He hadn't hugged many people. Hank being the first, and Markus being the other. Markus had been more of a 'thank you' hug than anything else.

"Shh, it's ok. The elevator is just settling. You're safe, I won't let anything happen to you, ok? I promise." He mumbled. He kept his voice level as he held Gavin.

It was… nice. It would be nicer if Gavin wasn't having a panic attack, but he tried not to focus on that fact. "I'll keep you safe, Gavin."

And he would. He didn't exactly know how, but he'd make sure he was safe. He'd put himself in danger if he had to.

Gavin took a shaky breath in and was about to just sit in place when he was pulled into a hug. He froze a little but wrapped his arms around the other.

It was calming... He sighed in relief and relaxed a little. He didn't smell too much as Hank. Connor had his own smell...

He relaxed as he just hid his face in Connor's shoulder. He breathed a bit deeper and tried to follow Connor's breath. He wished it never happened. He didn't want to show himself being so weak.

He swallowed and closed his eyes as he focused on breathing. He didn't listen to Connor. He focused on the androids... heartbeat?

He kept Gavin close, running a hand up and down Gavin's back. With the other hand, he played with the hair at the back of Gavin's neck.

It was soft, softer than he thought it would be. Gavin was warm in the way only born creatures were. Sure, androids produced heat, but this was different.

This was like he could feel how alive Gavin is. It was comforting to feel Gavin's breathing, even if it wasn't back to its normal pace.

He had an urge but pushed it away, knowing it would most likely be unwelcome. "You're doing so well, Gavin. I'm proud of you."

He himself has had times where things got too much. His was known as sensory overload. If that happened he either laid on the ground and pet Sumo with his eyes closed, or he forced himself into stasis.

Of course, he couldn't force Gavin to sleep. Well, he could but that required violence, which he most definitely wasn't going to do.

Gavin shivered lightly as the android touched the hair on his neck and somewhat melted at the touch. He forgot it was Connor and where he was. He wasn't touched gently in so long that he kind of was touch starved.

He whimpered lightly and relaxed more. He was like some kid or animal now. He had his eyes closed and just breathed calmly not listening to anything but the other's heartbeat.

He slowly began drifting off as he calmed down. Maybe not completely but in most part. His arms and whole body fell from around Connor as his head went numb against Connor.

His breath was calm and steadier. He was relaxed and not shaking. Sleep always helped. Besides he didn't sleep for 10 days already. He worked all this time.

He smiled as Gavin relaxed, feeling a sense of pride. He kept murmuring soft words to Gavin, his voice soft and low.

"I'm going to lay you down, ok?" He said before gently moving so that Gavin was laying down. He put his head in his lap and started to fully card his hand through Gavin's hair.

He took his jacket off as smoothly as he could to not jostle Gavin. He laid it across Gavin. He didn't need it to keep warm, and the elevator was warm.

He knew that blankets and warmth were often comforting even for androids. He found that he really liked weighted blankets, and he liked it when Sumo would cuddle with him/lay on him.

Gavin didn't react much at being moved. He was already half asleep. He curled up a little closer to Connor and sighed at the jacket.

His body was relaxed as he just slept peacefully, somewhat leaning into the touch. He smiled smally in his sleep. It was the first smile around Connor. First true smile.

He felt safe and the warmth of the android helped. He just didn't hear the heartbeat anymore and it made him a little bit stressed but not much.

After some time Gavin was sleeping soundly against Connor's lap and curled up to the android, trying to cuddle. He was a cuddler. He was always looking for something to cuddle in his sleep.

Connor smiled down at Gavin. He knew that they'd have to talk about this later, but he was so happy that Gavin trusted him enough to fall asleep.

He looked around the small elevator then back at Gavin. He was definitely asleep. So he leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead.

He looked so peaceful like this. More peaceful than he's ever seen him. Normally he just looks angry.

Anger is often called a secondary emotion because humans (and now androids) tend to resort to anger to protect themselves from or cover up other vulnerable feelings. They almost always feel something else first before we get angry.

They might first feel afraid, attacked, offended, disrespected, forced, trapped, or pressured. If any of these feelings are intense enough, we think of the emotion as anger. So he often tried to dig deeper, see what was behind someone's anger.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Gavin getting closer. It was honestly adorable. Once again he took a gamble.

He moved slowly to not wake up Gavin and laid down beside him. He wasn't exactly sure if this was something people did to comfort others, but he did it anyway.

So he laid down next to Gavin. He wouldn't initiate any cuddling just in case, but he made himself available to it.

Gavin sighed and frowned lightly in sleep as the warmth disappeared for a while but then felt it again. He relaxed and slowly his head was hidden in Connor and he was lightly wrapped around the android.

He slept peacefully and didn't seem scared anymore. He just slept not thinking about anything else around him. It was the first time he was that relaxed around /anyone/.

He hummed softly in his sleep and tried to cuddle even closer. He didn't feel someone's warmth since last time Hank calmed him from a panic attack which was so long ago that it should be forgotten.

When Gavin got closer he pulled his arms around him. He also slowly started to use himself as a heater. Not too hot, but it would keep Gavin at a very comfortable temperature.

He continued to play with Gavin's hair as he slept, closing his own eyes. He wouldn't go into stasis, not now.

He needed to stay awake just in case he got any messages or something bad did happen.

An hour later he still is cuddled close to Gavin when he gets a message from Hank letting him know that the repairman is here.

Not a minute later the elevator jolts, but still doesn't move up or down. The lights flicker but hold steady. He pulls Gavin instinctually closer.

Gavin was sleeping peacefully and relaxed more as he felt the warmth of the other body or as he thought his heating blanket he has on his bed in his room. Well, not this time, Gavin.

He was surely a little spoon when it came to cuddling and just tried to get as close as he could to the thing or in this case a person he was cuddling with. He still had a small smile on his face.

He seemed calm and relaxed but as he elevator jerked he jumped and woke up. He frowned and jumped away as he recognized the jacket that was in front of his eyes. "What the hell tin-can!?" He shouted as he moved away.

He looked around and froze remembering where he was. It really wasn't good. Was he going to freak out again?

Connor jumped and felt himself frown when Gavin yelled at him. It wasn't like this wasn't one of the highest possible outcomes. It still hurt, though.

He sat up and kept his body language open. "Gavin. It's ok. You had a panic attack then fell asleep. You...I." He didn't really know how to describe the rest.

He rubbed at his face, LED turning yellow as he thought. It was mostly his idea, but Gavin seemed to like cuddling. He liked the cuddling.

But Gavin had been asleep, and sleeping humans couldn't make decisions. So this was his fault.

"I'm sorry. You seemed to have responded well to being comforted in such a way, but I should not have assumed. I should have waited until you were awake and back to a normal frame of mind. I apologize, Detective Reed."

He really wanted to go back to cuddling. Gavin was warm and soft. He liked holding him in his arms as he slept. Would he feel even more rested after stasis if he did that while he slept? He doubted he'd ever be able to find out.

Gavin frowned and somewhat stared at the other, but his eyes held something in themselves. The question was what was it? He shook his head and looked away.

He had a panic attack... Well, it was possible because he woke up and he always fell asleep after panic attacks. But did he really cuddle to Connor? He knew he would cuddle to something warm. Were androids warm?

He sighed and looked around. "How long until the elevator will move again?" He asked in a more calmer manner. He tried to sound angry and a bit mean but... well he had to admit that he had felt something, a little, tiny, bit to the android.

He wished the elevator will move soon, he didn't want to freak out again and say something stupid. He didn't want to get do anything like that in front of Connor. What if he would say that he likes him?

Connor sent a quick message to Hank asking and got a reply. He felt himself nod even though only Gavin could see him.

"We have at least thirty minutes. It could be longer, though…" he trailed off. He wanted to say more. He wanted to ask something but wasn't sure.

Ever since deviating his probabilities was slightly off due to his emotions. If he thought something wasn't going to work then the probability would go down with it, regardless of if that was actually true.

He sat with his legs crossed, back against the wall. He kept his gaze away from Gavin, but there wasn't much else to look at.

Then he remembered his coin and pulled it out with a smile. Hank had taken it away a few times, but he always got it back. Most of the time he did so without Hank knowing.

He started doing his coin trick as he thought. They had at least thirty minutes. The probability of Gavin possibly having another panic attack was high. Gavin liked physical contact and sought it out in his sleep.

"Would… if it gets too much again, do I have permission to hold you?" That sounded better than straight-up asking to cuddle.

Gavin was pacing around the whole elevator and tried to stay calm. It's funny how fast his emotions are kicking in after just being after a panic attack.

He swallowed and just nodded at the information, biting his bottom lip. How was he supposed to stay calm as he already was beginning to feel the air falling down.

He took a deeper breath in an attempt to calm down himself already. He had his arms crossed as he looked at the floor while pacing around. He from time to time flinched lightly at the light flicking.

He froze at the question and somewhat even stopped breathing. If he says no then Connor won't calm him down anymore AND will get more unfriendly to him, BUT if he will say yes then it will get strange and he will say that he likes him. He swallowed and nodded lightly as the elevator jerked again and he just gasped, getting thrown into a wall.

Connor had a brief moment of happiness until Gavin hit the wall. He got up in a smooth, quick motion and walked the few steps to Gavin. He pockets the coin as he does. His jacket is still on the ground, but currently, he doesn't pay it any mind.

He gently pulled him away from the wall so he could check his head for injuries. He could do this with just his scanners, but he gently brushed the back of Gavin's head.

Nothing bad. He'd probably have a headache, but he had no doubt that Gavin could manage that.

"Are you alright? You should sit while they are working on it. That will decrease your chances of getting hurt like you just did." He stayed, tilting his head just slightly.

He looks at Gavin and feels his breath hitch just slightly at the closeness. He takes a small step back and hesitates before running his hand down Gavin's hair again before pulling away.

Gavin was about to just pull away from the wall by himself but Connor already helped. God, he was fast. He tried to don't lean into the touch and nodded lightly.

He sighed and slowly slid down the wall, sitting down. He was shaking slightly and his breath was a little bit wheezily. He was getting closer to another panic attack.

He felt his head hurting and just ignored it as he stared at the floor. He really was doing his best to stay right-minded for as long he could.

He could feel the air just slowly beginning to disappear again and the walls were beginning to swim around a little bit. He swallowed hard and tried to stay calm. Why had it to be Connor? Why not someone else?

Connor wasn't exactly sure where to sit. Would it be acceptable to sit beside Gavin? Or should he sit on the opposite wall, giving the other space?

That question was answered for him when he noticed the signs of another panic attack. He slid down the wall. Gavin was still coherent so he decided to try distraction first.

He pulled out his coin and fiddles with it, starting his truck again. "I've noticed cat hair on you. Do you have cats?"

He sits close enough that their shoulders just barely touch. He'd let Gavin choose to get closer if he wanted to.

Gavin stayed in one position and didn't react when Connor sat down. He was taking deeper breaths and listened to Connor. "Yeah... I have two cats..."

He didn't like talking about their names. It seemed strange to name a cat Cameron and Pearl. He just liked the names plus they fitted perfectly.

He curled up a little, wrapping his own jacket a bit more around himself. He sighed and looked down. "One Meine Coon a-and an American Curl." He said and swallowed again.

He looked at the ground as he felt a bit dizzier from what he could see the walls doing. Yeah... This panic attack might be a bit stronger and he knew it already.

Connor nodded his head. "I like dogs. I've only met a few cats, but they are very interesting. They actually remind me of you." He points out, bumping their shoulders together.

He doesn't have to look up what those certain types of cats look like, but he does anyway, cooing at them.

He adores animals of all types, including android ones. He had gotten Hank to take him to the aquarium when they had spare time.

"Do you want to tell me about them?" This was honestly the most civil conversation they've ever had, and if Gavin wasn't starting to have another panic attack, he would enjoy it.

It didn't seem the distraction method wasn't working too well. He wanted to pull Gavin close to him, run his hand through his hair again, but held off.

Gavin swallowed and just stared forward. He wasn't really doing well now. He could feel his lungs somewhat lacking on air and the walls were beginning to move.

He froze a little at the question and nodded lightly. "I... They are..." he tried to choke out but just couldn't get in any air. He gasped lightly, trying to get the air in.

"Th-They... are troublemakers... The curl a-always eats p-plants I get-" he choked out as he took a bit deeper but forced breath. "The me-meine coon al-always cheers me up-" he didn't know what he would do without his cats. They were like something closer to parent like relation.

He was shaking a bit harder but still stayed quite calm. "Th-They c-can be bitches, b-but they are th-the greatest cats I-I could have-"

Connor nodded and put his coin away. He hoped Gavin would focus on it, maybe even want to learn how. Another distraction method that didn't work.

He couldn't help but frown at himself. The only thing that seemed to work was physical contact. Gavin did give him permission, but he was... anxious.

He felt slightly guilty for liking it. He liked holding Gavin. He had to push the guilt aside.

He scooted over and very slowly put his arm around Gavin. It was slow enough that Gavin would be able to move away if he wanted to.

"They sound wonderful. I've got a dog, Sumo. He's very sweet and very large." He once again sent a message for them to hurry.

Thankfully it seemed like an easy fix. "I was just informed that we have about fifteen minutes left. Take deep breaths, you can do this. I'm proud of you." He said, giving Gavin a small squeeze.

Gavin took a deeper breath and nodded. "Th-They are." He said and tried to calm down. He never really opened up to someone so much... other than Hank...

He nodded lightly and rubbed his face. "I know Sumo..." he said and froze a little. That was a bit of a mistake. He just told Connor that he and Hank had to do something that he knew Sumo.

He froze at the contact but relaxed when he felt only an arm for now. He looked down and sighed. He wrapped his arms around himself and tried to stop shaking.

He nodded lightly at the information. "Okay..." he said but didn't say anything more at the other comment. He tried to take deep breaths but... it just was hard.

Connor hummed. He knew that Gavin and Hank didn't get along, but Hank would never tell him why. Something must have happened that neither wanted to talk about.

He wouldn't press it then. If either of them wanted to tell him about it, they would. For now, he just needed to focus on calming Gavin down.

So he took very purposeful extra deep breaths. "Breathe with me." If he got him to he had a good chance of stopping the panic attack before it became even worse.

He absentmindedly rubbed circles onto Gavin's arm where his hand rested.

Gavin flinched lightly at the hum but stayed in one place. He took deeper breaths with Connor which slowly began helping. His shaking began to fade away slowly but then he elevator jerked again and he gasped in fear.

Everything came on on him. He curled up and tried to calm down, still trying to breathe with Connor but not being able to after what just happened. His ears were ringing from the panic attack.

He tried to calm down again but it just got worse with every second. He could feel walls getting closer and slowly beginning to touch him.

He curled up more and began breathing gasping and fast. He needed air. He needed to calm down. It all was just too much. He couldn't be here any longer. It was messing him up.

Connor glared at the walls. If it would help Gavin he'd gladly punch them, but that wouldn't do anything.

He sent a quick, angry text to Hank about the elevator jerking around before fully focusing on Gavin once again.

He pulled Gavin closer, his head on Connor's chest. "It's ok. They are almost done. Then we can leave. You're safe." He whispered.

He gently took Gavin's face so he was looking at him. "I promise you you are safe with me." His tone held no room to argue. Gavin would always be safe when around him.

Gavin was trying to curl up as much as he could around himself, trying to get the walls as much away as he could. He gripped his pants tightly and closed his eyes.

He gasped when he was pulled closer and tried to breathe with the android. He was in shock when their eyes met and he just looked in the other's eyes with panic in his own.

His pupils were small and he was slowly beginning to grip onto Connor's shirt. He couldn't even bring himself to try and talk. He still tried to follow Connor's breath, but his eyes didn't leave Connor's.

It would be a better scene if one of them wasn't just going through a panic attack and wasn't a huge mess that didn't sleep for 10 days nor eat for 7 hours.

"It'll be alright." He mumbled and pulled Gavin close again, rubbing his back. He really hoped that after this they'd at least talk with each other.

He knew it would probably be awkward but he didn't mind. He could appreciate even the negative emotions. Before he couldn't even acknowledge them, let alone be allowed to feel.

Now he could. Now he could feel fear whenever he was being shot at, or anger at people who hated him for something he couldn't control.

That also meant he could feel the positive emotions. The feeling of family when he sat with Hank and Sumo. The feeling of pride when he finished a job without any more casualties.

He also felt attraction. That one was certainly an interesting emotion. He had been attracted to many different people, but most of the time it was fleeting. He had even talked to Hank about it and found a label he liked.

He shook himself out of his thoughts and took his tie off. He then took one of Gavin's hands and put it over his shirt where his heart should have been if he was human.

He hoped that the contact would help Gavin be able to take deep breaths. The probability of it working was high, but once again he still wasn't sure.

Gavin looked in Connor's eyes and swallowed lightly as he was pulled closer and his head was against android's neck. He began breathing in and out with Connor.

He didn't seem to react at Connor moving his hand and froze a little as he felt Connor's heartbeat. Slowly he closed his eyes and took deeper breaths.

It took a bit of time, about 3 more minutes but Gavin's breath began calming down. He began relaxing and he stopped shaking so much.

He was feeling safe... A feeling he didn't feel in a long time. He thought he never will feel it again. He leaned a bit closer and put his head between androids shoulder and neck. He never felt anything like that. No one... ever calmed him in such a human way... did he really...?

The elevator jerked again but Gavin didn't seem to even feel it. He seemed out of it but still was awake... He was still following Connor's breath... He just... focused on Connor's heartbeat…

He smiled when Gavin didn't jump at the jerk. This was definitely progress. He mumbled a few words, not even paying attention to what he was saying. It didn't seem to matter much anyway.

He sat there carding his hand through Gavin's hair as they waited. He also kept his hand on top of Gavin's where it rested on his chest. Normally if someone put their hand that close to his thirium pump it would either be to rip it out or he was getting unwanted testing and upgrades. Both he very much disliked.

This was different, though. He trusted Gavin to not mess with his thirium pump, and if he did either one of them could just put it back in. Plus it wasn't like Gavin was going to run off with it, not with the panic attack and being stuck in an elevator.

Speaking of, he smiled when he saw the new message pop up. "Gavin? Hey, the elevator is going to start moving. They are bringing it down to floor level." He didn't need to mention that after they left they'd still work on it. Connor and made it quite clear that the repairman's primary objective was getting them out.

Gavin relaxed a little bit and froze when Connor spoke up. He didn't realize how close to each other they were. He swallowed and pulled away. He wished it could last longer but what if someone would see them?

He wiped his eyes and turned away from Connor like nothing happened. He went back to his cold-like self. Not caring at all. "If you dare to say anything to ANYONE about it, I'm gonna kill you." He said and slowly stood up.

He corrected his hair again and just leaned against the wall of the elevator. "Understood?" He asked with a bit of anger in his voice. He couldn't believe he was doing it to someone who helped him just a few moments ago.

He wished he could be kind to Connor. He might... really feel something to the android but... His position and reputation didn't allow him to.

Connor sighed and stood up, grabbing his tie and jacket. He put the jacket on, and slowly started to tie his tie.

"I won't, but you don't have to be ashamed. Up to 10% of the population is affected by claustrophobia, and at least 18% suffer from panic attacks." He kept as far away from Gavin as the small elevator allowed.

He didn't want to cause Gavin any more stress than he already had. He wanted to pull him into another hug but instead pulled out his coin.

He wouldn't take any of it back. He'd still have comforted Gavin even if it ended in him getting punched.

Gavin looked forward and just stayed silent for some time. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists lightly. "I am not claustrophobic!" He snapped as he looked at Connor angrily.

He had to keep his pride up, right? He couldn't let it be ruined by android. He wished he could just be in peace with androids but all thanks to the whole DPD, he was famous 'android hater'.

"You better forget what happened here!" He shouted and turned away again. He sighed and relaxed a little as he thought of the elevator being moved again.

He had enough of this place and just wanted to get out of here. One say that he was so mean to Connor because of the situation and his android hatred, but he was just scared of Connor telling everyone about his fears.

His LED circled yellow before going back to blue. "There is nothing wrong with having a phobia. I'm afraid of heights," he offers up. He had gotten to the point where he could manage it, but he still had that fear.

"I can't forget anything, but you don't have to worry about anything from me. I don't see you as any less." Part of him understood why Gavin was doing this.

He didn't fully understand. Why stay as people see as an ass when you could be seen as your true self. Your better self. It didn't make sense to him.

"If you do ever need someone you can come to me. I don't care if it ends with you yelling at me, or punching me, I just want to help." He took a hesitant step forward.

Gavin looked forward and gritted his teeth but stayed silent. He sighed and looked at Connor with a frown. "Why do you care?" He asked as he scanned the other.

He didn't understand why the android would care enough to try and calm him down even if he could get punched. He didn't know how androids worked and didn't know, because he would probably get taught by his older brother.

"You are free now and you don't need to get your fucking ass kicked." He said and flinched as the elevator began moving. At least it will be over.

He turned around and went silent again. He didn't care if there was something more to say about it or not.

He stepped closer and cautiously reached a hand out to turn Gavin around. "I am free. I'm free and I did everything in my own free will." He said, his voice soft.

"I care because I, for some reason, care about you. I don't know why, but I do. I don't want to see you hurt, or stressed, or scared." He sighed, looking down at the ground.

His emotions were so often confusing and his feelings towards Gavin were no exception. He didn't know exactly what he felt but it was mostly positive.

He knew what he wanted to do, but he couldn't. He wanted to hold him, watch movies that he wasn't seen with him. He wanted to experience life, and he wanted to see how Gavin reacted to it too.

Gavin froze at the hand and being turned around. He had a deep frown on his face as he looked up at Connor. Shit. Why was the android so close?

He was silent for a moment, looking for something to say. He was speechless. What did Connor mean by that? "Go with this think to Hank." He said as he wrenched his arm out of the android's hand /lightly/.

He turned back away from the android and just leaned against the wall again. He wished the elevator will move faster. He would finally go home and sleep.

"He's from the emotional stuff." He added and went silent completely. He knew Hank, the guy knew a lot. It was a pity that he hurt when he was upset.

Connor frowned and stepped back. "You both have the same amount of emotional constipation," Connor muttered under his breath.

He didn't know what to say to convince Gavin. He didn't know what to do and it drove him crazy.

Before when he was just a machine it was easy. Well, not exactly. But he was given clear choices. Either do this or this. Say one of these things. Now he had nothing, just what he thought.

He watched as the number went down. The door would be open any second now. Fuck it, was his main thought.

He walked back closer and pressed a very quick kiss to Gavin's cheek before moving away. The door opened as he moved back and he practically running out of the elevator door.

Hank was waiting and Connor jogged over to him, Hank patting him on the shoulder. He didn't want to look back to see what Gavin's reaction would be.

"You alright, son?" Hank asked. Connor nodded and then couldn't help it, turning to look back.

Gavin looked at the floor as he rolled his eyes at Connor's comment. "I'm nothing like Hank." He muttered as he looked at the time. He sighed when they were supposed to finally get out.

What he didn't expect at all was the kiss. He froze and looked forward, progressing what just happened. He looked as Connor jogged away and rubbed his face as he shook his head.

The android was surely playing with him. He was just an asshole to him he wouldn't kiss him. He just walked out of the elevator, looking away from Connor when he saw the android looking at him, he had a light blush on his cheeks.

He headed to his car. He was tired and the last thing he needed was to pass out from exhaustion. He didn't cate about eating now. He was too tired. That was over for him.

"Yeah," he sighed, turning back to Hank. "I'm fine. I'll head to the station, I don't think I can go into stasis tonight."

He could also work on the case and get it finished up. Hank sighed and shook his head. "Alright. I'm going home."

Connor nodded and called himself a cab. He watched as Hank left and then had to wait for the cab. It didn't take long since no one else really needed cabs at this time.

It did give him time to think, which was a blessing and a curse. He got to think about Gavin's reactions. He seemed shocked but other than that he couldn't tell what else he seemed to be feeling.

When he got to the office he focused on the case. He learned a lot about the dead android. She was one of the few that had been with Jericho and lived through the raids.

Once everyone was back and awake then he'd go out and question her friends and family. In the meantime he messaged Markus.

Mostly if he knew anything about the android, her name was Emma, but then just to catch up. It was nice talking to him, and he could talk about his confusing feelings without judgment.

Markus gave him a few pointers and Connor then did do more research. He decided he'd try to show Gavin that he cared about him instead of saying it. Actions often spoke louder than words as humans said.

Gavin was back at work with kind of new energy and a lot more coffee. He sat in front of his monitor and typed in everything he could.

He was even sent to some crime scene but nothing interesting happened. It was going to be just a normal, boring day. He was prepared for this. And it was like that. Nothing happened.

This time he went home on the same day he came to work which was very rare for him. He was still kinda tired after the two huge panic attacks he had yesterday.

The next day though. Gavin didn't appear at the station. He always was at the time and even sometimes a lot earlier. It was concerning…

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missxmolotov · 4 years

Text

Injuries

So, this post never really left my mind, and then this happened. I’ve never written anything for AH before, but hey, here we are. I hammered this out late last night to the sounds of MST3K and my husband snoring. Enjoy and feel free to let me know if you do. (Please forgive my terrible title. I know.)

FAHC, canon-typical violence, mentions of blood loss and bullet wounds, a smidge of Ryan/Jeremy at the end, and more plot than I planned on, but that’s my brand, tbh. SFW Word count: 2481 Or read here on AO3.

***

“Look, it’s going to shit in here, but don’t come back. Do you hear me? I’ve got it handled.” Ryan curses as his comm bursts to life with the voices of his team immediately making plans to return to the factory crawling with goons who work for the guy they just robbed. He takes cover behind some shipping crates on the south side of the building and tries to ignore the blood soaking into his shirt from the bullet holes in his shoulder and abdomen.

The gut shot didn’t seem to be that bad, surprisingly. It was still oozing blood, but not alarmingly. His shoulder, however, was a different story. People liked to think that getting hit in the shoulder would hurt but not kill, but that wasn’t exactly true. Lots of blood vessels running from the arms and neck to the chest meet in and around the shoulder area, and unlucky for him, one of the bullets must have nicked one of his. Or two. Or more, really. It’s hard to tell now that his vision is going hazy.

Footsteps near him zap his waning focus back to life momentarily, only to see him level his gun between Lindsay’s eyes as she rounds the crate where he is, half-crouching and limping.

“It’s just me, jesus, Ryan,” she whispers, wincing a bit as she settles next to him. He relaxes, peeking around the other side of the crate and counting at least ten guys moving quickly and methodically around the other shipping crates in the warehouse. He closes his eyes for a few seconds, letting his head rest against the cold metal at his back and listening to the footsteps, quiet murmurs of their enemies as they call each area clear, and beyond that, the ocean outside lapping at the docks. Unexpected reinforcements had cut off the section of the building that he and Lindsay had been in, making escape impossible. He had told them so, but Lindsay had stayed quiet until this moment. Michael’s yells break through the din of voices in his ear, tinged with more fear than anger. Lindsay shushes him and tosses an, “I’m fine, Michael,” before reaching up and turning the volume down.

Eyes still closed, he breathes out, “There’s at least ten of them, probably more on the second floor.” When he opens his eyes and glances at Lindsay, she’s smirking, a dangerous glint in her gaze that showcases what caused Michael to fall in love with her.

“So, we stay under the catwalk to take these fuckers down. Michael and Jeremy blew out the dock on the southeast side, so they can’t get in from that way.” Ryan nods, taking a deep breath and trying to anchor his equilibrium as the room sways.

“Can’t flank us from there, then. I like it.” Once his vision clears, he looks at her leg, tries to discern what kind of injury lies beneath her blood-splattered jeans.

“It’s just a graze on my calf. Hurts like a bitch to walk, though. You?” She lightly pulls his jacket away from his abdomen and hisses at the sight of his saturated shirt. “Shit, no wonder you look so fucking pale.” She sucks on her bottom lip as she thinks, worried eyes scanning the floor in front of them but not seeing it. “New plan, you cover me from here, and I’ll run for one of the cars parked out the side door. We gotta get you out of here.”

“No, I’m fine. My gut has almost stopped bleeding already. We gotta move, though. They’ll be here soon.” The footsteps are echoing in the row behind them. Ryan wobbles to his feet, Lindsay’s free hand shooting out to steady him, but once he’s there, he takes some deep breaths and allows the adrenaline to do its job. He looks at Lindsay, and watches that dangerous excitement reignite behind her eyes. He nods and moves first, feet silent as they zigzag between the crates to the other side of the factory. His shoulder screams with every movement, but luckily it’s his left, leaving his dominant right free to shoot as usual.

Somehow Lindsay follows him just as silently and smoothly, her injured leg not seeming to hinder her beyond a slight limp. Once they reach the area under the catwalk, they part without a word, splitting to take cover behind separate crates to split the gunfire they’re about to draw in more than one direction. They both take a moment, Lindsay nodding to herself and Ryan huffing deep breaths, pushing the pain in his shoulder and abdomen down, down, down until he can think past it. It’s a useful trick, however short-lived it happens to be. Then, with a nod, they both lean out and choose a target, pulling their triggers almost simultaneously, Ryan’s a clean throat shot, through and through. Lindsay’s target’s head explodes and she lets out a ‘whoop’, high and clear and delighted. Both bodies fall, one choking and one already greeting the hereafter.

One long second stretches out with no new targets in their field of view, only yells and panicked coordination of the other goons. Then, three men run into view near the bodies of their coworkers, and Ryan takes two down quickly, the other turning toward Lindsay and catching two in the chest and a third in the face. He swallows down the ‘conserve your ammo,’ comment, knowing that in the middle of this firefight, Lindsay is intending to have as much fun as possible, and said comment would only garner a ‘shut the fuck up.’

Also, he tries not to be a hypocrite when he can help it. He’s got more blood on his hands than Lindsay will likely ever have, so, glass houses and rocks and all that.

“Hey, are you going to help me or stare into space some more?!” Lindsay yells, shooting twice and hitting only one target this time. Time seems to speed up for him, and suddenly there are about fifteen people bearing down on them, gaining ground and making it nearly impossible to peek out to aim. He wildfires around the corner with no indication that he hit anyone. Lindsay cries out, and he looks over, sees a line of blood bloom across her cheek. Another graze.

The split-second of fear that Lindsay had been taken down was all it took for a spike of adrenaline to clear his mind and help him focus. Lindsay’s face was thunderous, anger turning her into someone unrecognizable.

“Okay?” he calls out to her, not sure he’s ever seen her look like this. She swipes at the blood now running down her face and nods. Ryan tilts his head toward the other side of the crate, indicating that he’s going to attempt to move back and flank a few of them. Another nod and she turns, getting ready for the break in fire that Ryan will hopefully give her.

He turns and crouch-walks to the left, peeking around the corner of the crate and finding no one in his immediate sightline. He can see two people still watching the spot from where his previous gunfire had come, and he easily dispatches them, moving quickly to the next row back as bullets erupt toward him. He hears Lindsay returning fire followed by a couple thuds and then nothing as everyone reevaluates where to shift their focus. Ryan takes a couple potshots, not able to get a clear shot without fully exposing himself and hopes that Lindsay will be able to keep taking advantage of his distractions. There must be more than he thought, counting nine people down and still having more than a few goons to deal with.

“Lindsay, Ryan, if you can hear me, move toward the back of the building. We’re crashing the party in the front,” Geoff says. In the excitement, and possibly the blood loss, Ryan had tuned out the chatter in his ear of the rest of the crew. Apparently, they did not heed his warning, and he didn’t know which emotion he felt more--exasperation or appreciation.

“Copy. Lindsay, let’s go loud then.”

“Copy.” Her reply is equal parts anger and glee. His mouth twists into a smile as he mirrors her sentiments. Maybe his reputation was a bit exaggerated, but he didn’t earn it without reason.

One breath, in and out, two breaths, in and out, three breaths. The front of the factory, explodes inward, throwing debris and shrapnel all the way through the back windows and redirecting all of their enemies’ attentions to the front of the building. Those not taken down by the explosion, that is.

Ryan doesn’t hesitate, striding forward and shooting two men in the back of the head seconds apart. The guy closest to him turns and tries to level his gun, but Ryan kicks him in the side of the knee and he goes down, catching a bullet to the eye before he can even finish his pained shout. Two more shots, and he’s feeling more himself, enjoying the automatic feeling of move-shoot-breathe as bodies fall in his wake.

He catches a glimpse of Lindsay, barely even limping, a knife in one hand and her gun in the other as she effortlessly rips through a line of enemies in seconds. A headshot, a sliced carotid, an elbow to the face followed by a bullet. She’s screaming and laughing as she rampages through the remaining men, delighted by their downfalls.

He turns and dodges a fist, but his injuries make him stagger and he almost goes down, catching himself at the last minute and aiming up and tagging the guy in the chin. Blood and bits hit him in the face, and he forgets Lindsay again, moving through targets and cutting them down with precision and efficiency. It feels like it takes an hour but realistically is only a few minutes before the others reach them, having to wait for the fallout of the explosion to clear enough to safely enter the building. The explosion they used wasn’t a breaching charge but what seemed to be one of Michael’s ‘special’ creations.

Ryan dispatches one last target and turns in time to see Jeremy punch a guy in the jaw, dropping him and then double tapping him in the head. The silence catches him off-guard, and he looks back to Lindsay. She’s splattered with blood, much like him, but her grin is feral, chest heaving from exertion as she scans the area for more threats. Finding none, her eyes find first his, and then Michael’s, not dropping her defensive stance until Michael slowly walks toward her, hands out and palms up.

He can hear more of their crew moving through the upper level, clearing stragglers. By the time Michael has made it to Lindsay and has her wrapped in his arms, Gavin gives the all-clear through their comms. Relief floods his system, and he drops his gun, hand suddenly too weak to hold it. All of them turn to him, Jeremy moving toward him swiftly. Ryan’s left hand is very wet for some reason, and when he raises it, it’s covered in blood. Oh, right. His shoulder.

As if his brain was waiting for him to remember, he is suddenly overcome with weakness and the pain grows until it’s unbearable. The next thing he knows, he’s on the ground, and Jeremy is yelling in his face to “Stay awake, you dumb fuck! Look at me!” Ryan tries, but Jeremy is pressing on his shoulder, and it hurts like fire, and that makes it hard to do anything but press his eyes closed and remember how to breathe.

The next time he opens his eyes, he’s in a spare room at the penthouse. It’s dim, the blankets are warm, and the body next to him is even warmer. He’s been given painkillers, and if the soft, dancing glow of the lamp in the corner of the room is anything to go by, it’s the good ones. Even still, when he tries to move his left arm, dull pain lances through his shoulder and into his chest, and a small, hoarse noise escapes his mouth. Tensing up also shoots tendrils of pain through his abdomen and into his back, and this time, the noise he makes is louder and more pitiful, but all the medication keeps him from being ashamed.

“Ry?” Jeremy sits up with a start and hovers his hand over Ryan’s chest, not knowing where to touch. “What’s wrong?”

When he can attempt to speak, he tries to be funny and say “Just remembering all the places I got shot,” but all he can get out of his dry throat is a coarse grunt.

“Oh, hold on a sec,” Jeremy murmurs, softly like Ryan is a spooked horse, and grabs a bottle of water from the bedside table. He gets a few small sips down before having to take a break to catch his breath, but those sips feel like heaven on his sore, dry throat. He would like to reassure Jeremy, who is clearly shaken, but all he can do is breathe shallowly at the ceiling and try not to cough. He can’t imagine how much it would hurt to cough right now.

“Steffy had to put you on the ventilator to do your surgeries, and it took a few days to get you off of it. She said your throat would be sore for a while, and it might hurt to talk.” Ryan nods and continues to breathe as the discomfort in his lungs eases a bit and the urge to cough fades.

“How long,” he rasps out.

“A week yesterday. You’ve been waking a little the last couple days, but never for this long. You might remember this one.” Jeremy is drawing little circles on Ryan’s good arm with shaking fingertips. Ryan turns his head to look at him, takes in the bags under his eyes and the gauntness of his face.

This thing between them was still very new before this, but they had been close since Jeremy joined the crew all those years ago. Jeremy’s chaotic streak and Ryan’s violent tendencies matching perfectly. And then apparently, Ryan had tried to die, and now Jeremy was fixing him with a gaze so intense that it made his chest ache for a different reason.

They both know that this life doesn’t end in old age. One day it’ll end, hopefully in a blaze of glory and not a ditch, but it will end and likely be violent. They both know that. Ryan won’t lie to him and say that he’s not going anywhere, but as another wave of pain medication washes through his body from the IV pump next to the bed, the best he can do is take Jeremy’s hand with his good one and close his eyes.

“I’ll remember.”

#fahc #fic #my fic #ryan #lindsay #ryan/jeremy #gun violence #knife violence #fahc fic

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dannyphandump · 6 years

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Ectober Week Day 3: Necromancy

(Day 1 | 2 | 3)

As if I wasn’t already being super over-the-top with Ectober this month, this one comes with a full-length fic. I can’t promise it’s great, because this is the first DP fic I’ve written, but it at least makes the picture make more sense, so there’s that. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

(Read on AO3 here)

“Sam! Sam, can you hear me? Sam!”

He knew he shouldn’t shake her shoulders. He shouldn’t move her at all; she would be in shock, after taking a hit like that. In shock. He was in shock, wasn’t he? Seeing her charred skin through the hole in her shirt, the thin trail of blood dripping down her lips, the blank gloss to her violet eyes -

Shock. I don’t have time for shock. He wouldn’t be feeling it if he was still Phantom, he was sure, but now he was just Fenton, useless, useless Fenton, because he’d used the Wail on Ember and Skulker - why did it have to be both of them? He could handle either on their own, or even Skulker and Technus, but now he hadn’t known - he hadn’t known Skulker was lurking in the background, how could he have known? Just because he had said they were dating -

He shook his head, trying to disperse the frantic, useless thoughts. It didn’t matter how they’d gotten here. He could kill himself over this later. Right now it was Sam who was dying, who wasn’t responding to his touch, his words, her eyes just staring sightlessly up at the starry night.

“Sam… you’ll be okay, you’ll…” His voice choked off into a pathetic sob. She wasn’t a ghost. She couldn’t just shake off one of Skulker’s ectoblasts like he did. Particularly not one that should’ve been targeting him.

One designed to kill.

His shaking hands lingered on her arms before attempting to find her pulse. Was it just his fingers trembling, or was that her carotid artery throbbing weakly? He couldn’t tell. This was Sam’s field of expertise - or at least competence. She was always the one checking him for injuries, not the other way around. Even Tucker was better than him, but he was away at a tech camp for the week.

Danny squeezed his eyes shut. Bit back another sob. Sam was going to be alright. Sam was always alright. Even when she risked her life to help him, day after day, week after week…

I should have known. I should have…

A police siren in the distance shook him from his thoughts. Could they help Sam? Could a hospital? She wasn’t half-ghost; unlike him, she could use a normal hospital. He just had… had to get her there…

Sam, your parents are going to kill me, he thought with a hysterical, shaking chuckle. Better me than you, though.

He took one more deep breath hoping it would calm him - it didn’t - and then felt deep for his core. It took a stronger mental tug to transform, after draining his energy with the Ghostly Wail. The white ring around his torso shuddered for a second before splitting and enveloping him.

With his ghost form came a wash of cold, and a wash of clarity. Colors became sharper, scents more pungent, sounds more piercing. If there had been many sounds, anyway - he could only hear his own ectoplasm-pumping heart and the faint whistle of wind through the trees. He knelt over Sam, pressing his ear to her chest, not caring how awkward that would have been if she were awake.

No stirring of air in her lungs. No heartbeat. No… no life.

Sam was gone.

Dead, his mind nagged him. You’ve been dealing with death for two years now. You should know better than anyone to accept it.

That wasn’t true. He was the only one who could be dead and not accept it. But Sam… she wasn’t… she couldn’t…

“Sam… it’s okay, it’s okay, sometimes this happens, right? People just pass out, and… and they can be revived, like with CPR or electricity or…”

Shock. He was Phantom; he shouldn’t be affected like this. Physiologically, anyway. Mentally…

Just get her to the freaking hospital, you idiot!

His breath came in short gasps as he scooped her up in his arms - limp, dead - unconscious - dead - and he floated into the air.

That should’ve been it. He should’ve flown to the hospital, as fast as humanly (ghostly?) possible.

But he just had to see his breath again. In the middle of August.

“You’re freaking kidding me,” he muttered, head already swiveling. “I don’t have time for you! Get lost or I’ll skip the thermos and blast you right into your after-afterlife!”

It was a testament to just how screwed up his life was that he could even manage a witty threat, under the circumstances. He should be freaking out. He was freaking out. Sam, unconscious - dead - he couldn’t handle. But ghosts trying to kill him? That was normal.

At least it would be, if ghosts were trying to kill him. But no one appeared to taunt him back. Either the ghosts were getting smarter, or… he didn’t know. As Phantom, he could see invisible ghosts when he focused. There wasn’t anywhere to hideaway the top of this hill; his Wail had destroyed the trees and stage, where Ember had been holding a “secret” concert before he and Sam had broken it up.

Sam…

Forget the ghost sense; he had to get help. He turned to fly towards town, when -

“Danny?”

He looked down at the soft, uncertain voice. “Sam?”

It had been her voice; he’d know it anywhere. But the form in his arms was as motionless as before.

“Danny… what are you… what are you holding?”

This time, he processed that the voice was coming from behind him. He swiveled to face - nothing. Nothing, but a swirling pool of blue mist.

He recoiled, jetting back over the edge of the hill. “I don’t know what kind of ghost you are, but stay back! I’m leaving!”

Ghost fighting could wait a few minutes, a few precious minutes while things were looking worse and worse for -

Sam. Oh - OH -

The mist rose and coalesced into just what he was afraid of. Because, if that was Sam - if that was Sam -

“No,” he whispered, hovering back to the ground.

The mist finally took full form. It - she - had bright white hair, just like his, and he couldn’t help noticing how her usual gravity-defying ponytail now flickered like a tiny flame. Her skin glowed a faint blue, the same color that had crept into her eyes. Eyes that were staring at the body he held in his arms.

She cursed.

“Sam, I-” He what? What could he say? I let Skulker catch you from behind and now you’re a freaking ghost? He must be having a nightmare. Maybe Nocturne was back. Ghosts weren’t supposed to materialize this quickly after death, anyway, and - and Sam wasn’t supposed to be dead!

“I’m dead. Holy-” Another stream of curse words his parents would have washed his mouth out with soap for saying. “I’m. I’m a ghost. Put - put my body down Danny, oh, this is weird, this is so weird…”

“Don’t freak out!” He yelled, as if he wasn’t freaking out himself. He set her - her body - down, ran a hand through his hair, tried to look calm. For her, he could do that, even if he couldn’t do it for himself.

“Sure, let me think about that for a second. Oh yeah, I’m dead! I’m allowed to freak out!”

“You - maybe you’re not all the way dead!” He threw back. She arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms, just the way she would have in real life. If this was a dream, it was way too realistic for his liking. “I mean… you are dead.” That hurt to admit out loud. “But we can - we can fix this.”

“How? Do your ghost powers include necromancy, Danny?”

“W-well… no, but…” He looked down at the body on the ground. Her body. Jeez, this was weird. He considered pinching himself, in case it was a dream. Not that it would’ve helped, since he’d taken plenty of hits from Ember tonight…

Sam’s ghost - Sam, it was still her - was still floating there, waiting for an answer.

“You could try possessing your body,” he said with a wince. It wasn’t his best idea, but it couldn’t hurt, right? Most ghosts didn’t materialize until after their bodies would’ve decayed, so - theoretically - there was no reason it couldn’t work, unless her body was damaged beyond repair -

Sam looked like she was trying to take a deep breath, but it didn’t do much. Regular, non-halfa ghosts didn’t have lungs. At this stage, it looked like she didn’t even have ectoplasm yet; her translucent form shifted and shuddered with each gust of wind.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll give it a shot.”

She floated forward, placed her hand on her body, and phased inside. Danny held his breath, expecting her eyes to flutter any moment, for her to smile in relief, probably punch him, and then let him carry her home like nothing had happened.

But life didn’t work like that, apparently.

After a few breathless moments, Sam’s ghost phased out of her body again. This time, she looked even paler than before, if that was possible.

“No go.” She shook her head. “It was - it was dark in there,” she murmured, voice shaking where her body didn’t. Danny remembered how his parents always said ghosts couldn’t feel emotion. Their ectoplasmic bodies didn’t carry the same kind of physical reactions that humans did, but her voice… she was terrified, even if she didn’t want to admit it.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, as if that would mean anything. It was his fault - all of this - and she… and she…

Sam cursed again. “Don’t cry, Danny. I can’t cry. It’s insensitive.”

That might have been a joke. It was hard to tell, under the circumstances. Either way, she was right. He wiped his damp eyes on his sleeve, but a few tears still escaped and dripped down onto her body.

Her body. How was he going to explain this to her parents? Even two years after the accident, they didn’t know about her ghost fighting. They didn’t know how many times a week - a day - she put herself in danger, just for him...

“I’m sorry,” he said again. Useless. “It’s my fault - you didn’t even see it coming, Skulker was aiming for me, and you-“

“Danny.” She put her hands on his shoulders. That was what he saw, even though he didn’t feel anything. That was weird. In his ghost form, he should have been able to feel her unless she was purposely going intangible. Unless it was a side effect of her lack of ectoplasm? Come to think of it, he’d never actually met a ghost without ectoplasm, it was all just his parents’ theories -

He shook off the tangential train of thought when Sam started talking again.

“Look. I’ve always helped you fight ghosts. I could have died a million times before now. I - I knew this could happen.” She looked away. “I mean, I didn’t expect to actually become a ghost… Whatever. The point is, I’m still here. This is the best-case scenario, right?”

The best case scenario was you not dying! But he didn’t say that. She was trying to stay calm for him; the least he could do was the same.

“I… yeah. Yeah,” he said weakly, though he didn’t believe it. There had to be a way to fix this. There had to. If he could hold a ghost and a living form together inside him, then why couldn’t she? Maybe if he just took her body back to the lab, had her help him patch her up -

“You’re getting an idea,” Sam said, her voice dubious.

“Yeah,” he admitted, the gears in his head still turning. The lab. There had to be something there that could -

That’s it!

“Come on,” he said with a hopeful grin, more meant for her benefit than his. “This idea’s better, I promise.”

Maybe, just maybe, everything could be fine after all.

XXX

They phased through the ceiling of the lab. Sam didn’t even have to try; her form still ignored any kind of resistance. She did shiver when she passed through solid matter, though, and her ponytail flickered fitfully.

“Are you going to tell me what your plan is now?” She asked.

“...Let’s fix up your body first,” he said. He wasn’t technically stalling - they did need her body in better shape if this was going to work - but she didn’t call him out. Odd. Sam wasn’t one to -

“Sam?” He asked, looking up from where he was gathering the medical equipment. She was hovering over by the ghost portal, head tilted back, eyes closed. Almost as if she was… basking in it.

“I could use your help over here,” he called when she didn’t respond. “You know how to treat ectoblast burns, right?”

“Yeah,” she said, her voice drawn out oddly. “Yeah. Right. Don’t you?”

He did, but he didn’t like the way she was acting around the portal. Something was just… off. It was probably normal for a full ghost, but still.

“Could you just come make sure I don’t screw up?”

She reluctantly hovered over to him. As it turned out, it was a good thing he’d asked; he nearly used the ointment for regular burns rather than ectoblast burns. It was hard to distinguish when every product started with “Fenton.”

“Not that it matters,” Sam said. “No heartbeat, no brain activity, no healing.”

Danny’s mouth drew to a thin line.

“We’ll see.”

He left her hovering over her body and floated towards the storage closet. What he needed would still be there; his parents never discarded an invention, no matter how apparently useless. Or dangerous.

Sam didn’t question him as he dug through the closet and heaved out the device he needed. He’d expected some kind of reaction - positive or negative, he wasn’t sure. But he quickly saw why.

She was floating by the portal again, her hand nearly reaching out to touch it.

“Sam!” He shouted, startling her back. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t-“ she shook her head, then glared. “Why? I’m a ghost, it’s not going to - wait, what are you doing?”

He just gave a sheepish grin and heaved the Fenton Ghost catcher upright.

“Oh, no, no. Danny, are you crazy?”

“I’m not crazy,” he insisted. “It put my ghost and human halves back together. Why couldn’t it do the same for you?”

“Because, Danny, I’m dead!” She shouted back, hands clenching to fists at her sides. He stared back at her, wincing under her gaze, until she finally looked away.

“Look, I just… Why are we doing this?”

Danny blinked. It was the last question he’d expected her to ask.

“You said it yourself, Sam. You… died, and I-“

“And you,” she emphasized. Her voice was quiet this time, calmer than it had been before. “You want me back. You want me to be human again.”

“Well - yeah! That’s what you wanted too, isn’t it?” He stared, but she remained silent. “Do you… do you want me to let you die?”

Surprisingly, she didn’t snap back at that, didn’t tell him he was being ridiculous. She just turned to look towards the ghost portal, with its swirling green energy.

“I can feel it, Danny,” Sam whispered. “I’m not like you. I’m not even like a normal ghost, not yet.”

She looked down at her hands, the pale, translucent blue that they were. Reluctantly abandoning the Ghost Catcher (for now), Danny hovered over and sat next to her in midair.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m not finished yet.” She passed her hands through each other, watching as they dissolved to mist when they touched. “You noticed, right? I don’t have ectoplasm yet. I came back too fast. And I think I know one reason why.”

“...Why?” He asked nervously. Her eyes fixated on the portal.

“Ghosts normally form inside the Ghost Zone, don’t they?”

“Well… I don’t know, really, no one’s ever seen-“

“I can feel it,” she repeated, almost as if in a trance. “I didn’t want to believe it at first, but I felt it as we got closer. It’s… it’s calling me.”

“Well don’t listen to it!” Danny snapped, more forcefully than he meant to. He tried to hold her shoulders, tried not to panic when his hands again misted through. “Come on, Sam! You want to live, don’t you? You have a life, a family, friends, a future! You were going to apply to college! You were going to influence people, make a difference-!”

“Plans… plans change, Danny.” She murmured. “This isn’t a choice. You can’t just choose not to die.”

“Maybe you can!” He couldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe she’d just - just give up, accept being a ghost when there was a chance, a possibility, right there that they could fix this -

“Please,” his voice cracked. “Try. Just try. For… for me.”

It was selfish. He didn’t care. If she was thinking straight, she would agree with him. She’d want to live, here, not trapped in the Ghost Zone, not as a fragment of the wonderful friend she was.

Sam paused, took one more look at the portal, and then nodded.

“Alright. One more try, but… don’t get your hopes up.”

Danny flipped the switch on the Ghost Catcher, and green light spread across its white webbing. Its gentle hum masked the frantic throbbing of his heartbeat.

Sam hovered up to the merge side, and her legs briefly flickered into a ghostly tail. She didn’t seem to notice; she was too busy peering through the Ghost Catcher’s webbing.

“It won’t hurt,” Danny promised, carrying her body up to her.

“I’m not worried about that,” she said. “This just… doesn’t feel right. Wouldn’t your parents know if they’d invented something that could basically make you immortal?”

Danny hadn’t thought of it that way. “It’s my parents we’re talking about. If anyone could accidentally raise the dead, it would be them.”

“...You’ve got a point there.” Sam tried to sigh, but no real breath came out. “Alright. Let’s see if they’ve done the impossible.”

Danny nodded. “I guess I’ll just… toss you through?”

“Sure. Just be sure and catch me on the other side.”

He could do that. He just hoped it was all of her he’d be catching.

He scooped up her body from the lab bench, not caring when ointment smeared from her back onto his suit. It hadn’t seemed to do much for her, but that was to be expected. They wouldn’t know if it helped until she passed through the Ghost Catcher.

“Ready?” He asked, and she nodded.

“On three,” Sam said. “One… two… three.”

Muscles tense with anticipation, he threw Sam’s body through the ghostly webbing. He couldn’t take the time to see if her ghostly form had made it through too. Barely breathing, he flew around to the other side just in time for her to collide with his chest.

He floated to the ground, his tail splitting back into legs as he touched down.

“Sam?” He asked, gently shifting her body in his arms. “Are you in there?”

Her eyes were still open. Still glassy, sightless.

And then they blinked.

“...Danny?”

“Sam!” He pulled her close, nearly crushing her in his hug.

“Whoa there… I need oxygen again, in case you were wondering.”

“Heh. Sorry.” He rested her on the ground and rubbed the back of his neck. “How do you feel?”

She rubbed her back - he skin still looked charred, and her shirt was ruined, but the ointment was glowing now. Usually when it came to his parents’ inventions, that meant it was working.

“...Fine, actually.” Her voice sounded like she hardly believed it herself. She rubbed her hands together, as if expecting them to phase through each other. “For having just been dead, anyway. I could still use about a dozen ibuprofen.”

Danny laughed, though he knew she was being serious. He just couldn’t believe - it had actually worked. He’d wanted to believe, but here she actually was, alive again, sitting in front of him.

She laughed a little too. “It’s weird. I still feel like I should be… nevermind.” She shook her head.

“What?” He asked, but she didn’t offer an answer. She just gazed off towards the ghost portal again. Probably thinking about how she would’ve been trapped there, eventually, if not for this crazy mixture of technology and luck. He could imagine it. He remembered the day of his accident, the paralyzing terror at thinking he’d… well. He wasn’t dead - not all the way - and neither was she. That was what mattered.

“Let’s just… let’s just get you home.” Maybe then they could both get some sleep, if his still-pounding heart would let him. Or maybe he’d wake up and this would all turn out to be a dream after all.

“Yeah. Sounds good.” Sam looked towards the ceiling, stretching up and concentrating as if - he had to hold back a laugh. She wasn’t trying to fly, was she?

“You want some help there?” Maybe he shouldn’t have teased her after such a traumatic experience, but laughing about it was easier than processing it.

She grumbled something under her breath.

“What was that?”

“Just take me home, you moron.” Her grin softened the insult. Grinning slightly back, he scooped her up and floated towards the ceiling.

It’s okay. She’s okay. Everything’s okay.

Just before he phased them through the ceiling, he noticed one last thing that made him question his calming mantra.

As she cast one last glance towards the portal, her eyes glowed bright blue.

#tw: death #EctoberWeek18 #ectober #tali draws #tali writes #danny phantom #sam manson

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xx-ingie-xx · 6 years

Text

A Summary of All Changes in the Fortitude Revision So Far (Chapters 1-35)

Rather than submit individual posts each time I update the Fortitude revision (aka Epic Edit), I’ve decided to outline all the changes in one continuous summary post, and I will reblog this same post with updates until the revision is complete.

Every chapter has received a thorough editing to improve style and flow, and many have been almost completely rewritten. This summary outlines changes to the story or characters. Details after the break:

Chapter 1

- Trimmed down and/or improved background info and general descriptions. Some sections have been placed in other chapters for better, more gradual pacing through the background story (I hope – this was very difficult!). - Removed the Council member Lord Pierson, simply because I couldn’t remember his purpose, lol. He seemed redundant to Lord Timothus. - Gave the ministers all last names. - Briefly explained the Alliance and made Impa Hyrule’s representative.

Chapter 2

- Introduced Lady Ariella and made her the Chamberlain, which is basically the castle housekeeper. - Edited more background info - Described the throne room (which is called the Audience Chamber) - Changed the conversation with Zelda’s ladies-in-waiting

Chapter 3

- Edited the conversations between Link and Zelda to sound more natural - Removed scene between Vasilis and the necromancer (too short to be important and no longer fit timeline, removing it also adds to the mystery) - More background info changes

Chapter 4

- Edited the conversation between Link and Zelda - Trimmed down the journey to the rendezvous site - Impa accompanies Zelda at the rendezvous - Improved the conversation between Zelda and Ashton

Chapter 5

- Basically unchanged, just lots of rewording and general polishing

Chapter 6

- Edited the scene between Link and Zelda

Chapter 7

- Placed a section from Ch 8 at the end

Chapter 8

- Added a new section during the journey to the camp - Ian accompanies Zelda (and Adam and two other guards) - I dropped subtle hints regarding Zelda’s pregnancy, so her miscarriage seems less random (and so her loss of magic is consistent throughout the story)

Chapter 9

- Basically unchanged, just lots of rewording and general polishing

Chapter 10

- Gave the Alliance city a name: Antheia - Removed Adam Carlen’s hearing scene – summarized instead (distracts from the main plotline, not important enough for a whole scene) - Impa leaves sooner - goes to Antheia to inform the Alliance of Ashton’s use of dark magic - Ashton does not have his second staff when he storms the castle (this will be important in coming chapters)

Chapter 11

- New scene added with a conversation between Ashton and Vasilis hours after Ashton conquers Hyrule. I felt I needed to set the tone of Ashton settling into Hyrule Castle. I also wanted to explain a few things that were previously left unmentioned. - Zelda’s conversation with Siena has been changed: - Siena tells her the Hylian soldiers are being kept in a Vandelian prison (I was pretty vague about what happened to them last time, so I changed it to make more sense) - Zelda does not promise to have Clef released (she doesn’t have that kind of influence this time) - Siena tells her an awful rumor about Link is spreading, and some people are angry or fearful enough to believe it - middle class and nobles alike.

Chapter 12

- The background story of Link’s narrow escape from death during the Retribution War has been altered to make more sense (realistically Link could not have been delivered to Hyrule Castle on horseback due to his distant location and the seriousness of his injuries). - Zelda does not plead for Clef’s release to Ashton but instead demands to know the awful rumor about Link. Ashton tells her in front of the court, and she pleads with them not to believe his lies. - Ashton also tells her the Alliance came and went while she was ill, they apparently bought his lies and chose to watch him from afar (as Zelda feared they would).

Chapter 13

- Zelda plans to meet with the other tribe leaders of Hyrule and search for the Triforce of Courage. - A section from the old version was removed – when she overheard some grounds people talking about Shade. In reality they would be too afraid to say such things within earshot of the Vandelian guards. This time she hears about him from Siena and at court – which makes more sense anyway. - Zelda does not seek out Shade; he interferes with her attack in the alley by chance.

Chapter 14

- The scene with Ashton and Vasilis has been changed – Vasilis is concerned about the Alliance discovering the second staff and about Link escaping the necromancer’s lair. - Most of the dialog between Link and Zelda has been rewritten and some changes have been made: - Link plans to go rescue the Hylian soldiers. - Link does not tell Zelda to stay at the castle. I realized he absolutely would not send her back to Ashton >.> Face palm moment there. Instead Zelda chooses to stay to keep the Vandelians off his back while he organizes the Resistance. - Zelda convinces Link to take the Ocarina (I realized she would not take no for an answer after everything that’s happened >.>), and he promises to return it.

Chapter 15

- Removed Siena’s third visit - redundant, unnecessary - Removed Great Fairy scene - that was a weak attempt to start the gradual downward spiral Hyrule faces with Ashton on the throne, but in retrospect it felt like random filler - Took one of Zelda’s visions from 16 and placed it at the end

Chapter 16

- Added a little more background info on Link’s and Zelda’s past - Added a small part where Zelda gets the Ocarina back

Chapter 17

- Nabooru talks about the rescue mission Link mentions in 14 - The necromancer’s lair is located in a place called Gerudo Chasm - More Gerudo accompany Zelda and Nabooru to the lair - Zelda finds Link’s wedding ring in the lair

Chapter 18

- Improved the dialogue/interaction between Link and Zelda to feel more natural - Link talks about the first time his scar spread. (There is now a specific trigger/pattern that will become evident in future chapters.) - The book they find in the necromancer’s lair has been changed a bit – it’s now a journal containing an account of the Imprisoning War (the torn page they find still contains the prophesy they can’t read) - Zelda returns Link’s wedding ring - I moved some conversation around to better work with the flow of the chapter

Chapter 19

- Improved the dialogue/interaction between Link and Zelda to feel more natural - Link asks her not to return to the castle, but Zelda is too terrified to do it (for multiple reasons, primarily Link’s safety) - Zelda doesn’t freak out about the necromancer telling Ashton about Link – I figure that would have already occurred to her (it still comes up but differently) - Zelda asks Nabooru to help keep her informed about Link’s scar - Link tells her there may be a second staff

Chapter 20

- Changed some details about the funeral as well as Zelda’s thoughts (some parts felt digressive or repetitive) - Ian is present - Renae and Kinsley speak (though I wrote a bit of dialogue for Kinsley only; the rest is summarized) - This chapter concentrates more on the public and how they react to the funeral. - Zelda’s interaction with Ashton has changed – Alicia is not present (I felt it was too similar to a scene in 12). Her treasonous comments will happen in a later chapter. - Zelda decides to find the staff, not destroy it (since they need it as evidence against Ashton).

Chapters 21 & 22

- Zelda still uses Ashton to get into his bedroom and find the staff. She does find it, but she fails to obtain it. - The necromancer makes another “deal” with Ashton regarding Link. - Link does not reveal himself, and Ashton keeps his survival quiet by locking Zelda in the dungeon. - There is no annulment, since Link is still declared dead. - Heather visits Zelda in the prison (under Ashton’s orders). - Zelda asks Heather to sneak her the Ocarina, which she uses to escape and find Link. - Zelda finds Saria in the Sacred Forest Meadow, and Saria brings her to the Resistance camp for the first time. (Link is not there.)

Chapter 23-25

- Zelda is brought to Goron City after she loses consciousness. There she speaks with Darunia for the first time in the story, so I pulled some text from Ch. 29 and posted it here instead. Darunia tells Zelda where Link is. - Those obnoxious Resistance members that mistreat Zelda in Ch. 23 have been deleted, mainly because I don’t think such amateurs would have direct access to Link. He’s too important. Only people he really trusts would work with him directly (outside the camp), and he would be better protected for the sake of secrecy. - The Resistance hideout in Kakariko Village is in Cleia’s cellar, not Impa’s house. Vandelians have claimed Impa’s house for their own amusements. - Since the annulment hasn’t happened, Link and Zelda’s conversation has been altered (Link is not so cold this time around). Their conversations in Ch. 24 and 25 have also been edited accordingly. - Zelda (willingly) tells Link she’ll stay with him in Ch. 23 but she still ends up surrendering to the Vandelians to create a diversion, so she’s unable to keep her word (for now).

Chapter 26

– Zelda’s visions in the very beginning are new. – Zelda fights back and tries to flee the castle before she passes out – The scene where Maddox treats Heather has been altered to flow better. – One of the biggest changes to the story overall: Zelda does NOT agree to sign the annulment. I was never happy with that part of the story, but at the time I thought Zelda didn’t really have a choice. After all the changes I’ve made, I felt it no longer made sense for Zelda to bend to Ashton’s wishes. To start, she has every intention of leaving the castle as soon as possible, so why break her vows to Link when Kaepora might turn up with the Ocarina at any moment? Second, Ashton has publicly declared Link dead, so he risks Zelda publicizing the annulment if he forces it on her – which would reflect pretty badly on him, since he lied about Link’s death. The last thing he needs is people doubting his word. Zelda knows this, so she uses it to her advantage. Also, Ashton doesn’t want to keep Zelda in a cell. He wants to parade her about and marry her before the entire kingdom – putting her in prison isn’t nearly as fun for him. Zelda knows this as well, so she calls his bluff. This scene is meant to show how Zelda and Ashton are playing a twisted game of sorts, each seeing how far they can push each other. Ashton may have sole rule over Hyrule, but Zelda knows too many of his secrets.

Chapter 27

– No one, not even Heather, knows about Zelda’s pregnancy. Zelda fears that telling anyone would endanger not only the baby, but the person sharing her secret. – Only those two women suspect Zelda’s pregnancy, and Zelda quickly fabricates another explanation. These women represent the fact that not everyone supports Ashton and that some do fear for Zelda. It also shows how increasingly difficult it will be for Zelda to keep her secret, which emphasizes her desperate need for the Ocarina. – The scene where Zelda treats Heather’s wounds has been significantly expanded to build Heather’s character and develop her bond with Zelda. Heather’s and Adam’s background has also been edited slightly – Adam now excels at carpentry instead of cooking (so that will be changed in 29 as well). I felt this change better suited Adam’s character as well as the OoT universe, since there are actually carpenters in Kakariko in OoT. Another bigger change is that Zelda does not tell Heather that Link is alive. – The scene where Ashton presents Zelda’s gown for the engagement gala has been altered. Zelda is still troubled by the gown, but I chose to dwell on it only briefly. Zelda acknowledges her humiliation, but she has much bigger concerns on her mind. Zelda also reacts to Ashton’s advance and instinctively twists his wrist. This demonstrates the growing tension between them – Ashton knows she’s not helpless, and Zelda knows she can’t lash out like that. All she can do is cause as little damage as possible until the Ocarina arrives. – I also moved the engagement gala to the beginning of Ch. 28.

Chapter 28

– The scene where Zelda is dressed for the gala has been removed – it felt utterly pointless in retrospect and didn’t demonstrate any tension that hasn’t already been established. – The gala is significantly altered. Zelda’s brief flashback to her engagement party with Link is has been removed because I didn’t think she would daydream about something like that, given her current circumstances. All she can think about is the present and her immediate concerns. As the night progresses, however, she does start to feel as though she’s been thrust into the past, and it haunts her. During her walk she sees one of Ashton’s lovers (something she dealt with back during their first engagement) and remembers how Link convinced her to defend her own happiness. Ashton then appears to reestablish his control over her. The private “exchange” between Zelda and Ashton shows how unpredictable and possessive Ashton has become, but it also shows that beneath his horrid exterior he is a damaged, misguided person, desperately trying to reclaim the past. – Zelda’s conversation with Alicia is new, but it did replace a similar conversation I removed from an earlier chapter (and gives Zelda reason to later ban Alicia from the court for treasonous behavior). Zelda is also dancing with Ashton when she faints instead of some random lord. – Maddox doesn’t have the chance to figure out that Zelda is pregnant, since her escape is completely changed. I wanted to create a stronger sense of urgency compared to her previous escape. That she left Ashton in the middle of his gala made it all the more satisfying, I think. :D – The scene where Zelda and Heather take refuge in the Temple has been removed because Zelda loses consciousness. I had to cut it for the sake of pacing, but I might reinsert it somewhere else in the story if I see an opportunity. – Zelda’s reunion with Link has been completely rewritten. I felt the chapter flowed better without the scene where Link finds her and Heather in the Sacred Forest Meadow. I wanted to focus on the strong sense of relief shared by Link and Zelda, but I also emphasized the difference between Link and Ashton. This is symbolized in the way Link removes the uncomfortable gown and accessories that Ashton forced Zelda to wear.

Chapter 29

– The first scene with Ashton has been altered to make sense with the changes to Zelda’s escape. He also questions Kinsley instead of Maddox. I wanted to emphasize Ashton’s growing paranoia/irrationality in this scene. I also hinted at his plan to hire Jedrek Khar, so it doesn’t feel so random later on. – Originally there were two scenes between Link and Zelda–one where she wakes in the middle of the night and one where she has breakfast with Link. Those two have been replaced by one new scene taking place in the morning. I don’t remember why I did two in the first place, but it was unnecessary, and I really wanted to improve the conversation/banter between Link and Zelda. – Link is more aware of Zelda’s nervousness about the people of the camp distrusting or even resenting her (as well as her fears about the baby). – When Link and Zelda meet with the other Resistance leaders, Zelda addresses them herself. Having Link speak for her in the original was just dumb. *facepalm* – Link still asks Cleia to come and care for Zelda, but it is (and will be) much more fleshed out. It was so “oh by the way” in the original, which was dumb. – Zelda still promises to stay in the camp, but that scene is completely rewritten, and this time Link takes the Ocarina with him.

Chapters 30 & 31

- Zelda frets more about her reputation - A Resistance fighter from Aboda defies orders and rides to the Resistance camp to tell Zelda about the situation in Aboda, he also begs Zelda to come and help the victims of the Black Sleep, despite the obvious danger - Link and Zelda’s argument is not resolved as it was in the original and they don’t discuss Zelda’s insecurities regarding the baby. That comes in a later chapter. - Link and Zelda do not have active roles in the funeral; that is reserved for the people of Aboda. They are attending simply to pay their respects. - I created more tension when Link urges the people of Aboda to evacuate. They are proud and more reluctant to flee their beloved village.

Chapter 32

- Zelda goes to the Chamber of Sages to summon Ruto, Nabooru, Rauru, and Impa so she can alert them that a cleansing might be Link’s only hope of survival.

Chapter 33

- Zelda takes a much more dominant role in trying to wake Link or treat his wound. This includes climbing Death Mountain (through the crater) to speak with with the Great Fairy. - The scene where Cleia assures Zelda her chances of a miscarriage have lessened has been removed. In a situation like this I see Zelda being very single minded and focused solely on saving Link. I removed her conversation with Heather for the same reason. Both scenes felt like digressive fluff that disrupted the flow of the chapter. - Another major change to improve the poor pacing in this section of the story: Impa does not return at this point. She is still in Tar Alem and possibly in trouble. Because of this, the Black Echo curse is not yet revealed. - Zelda visits the Great Fairy in the desert like she did in the original, but Nabooru escorts her there. Zelda does not collect a fairy as she did in the original, but the Great Fairy arranges for one to guide her in the Lost Woods. This is an example of taking some artistic license when minor and somewhat cumbersome gameplay details don’t translate well into storytelling. - Darunia, Saria, and Zelda take Link to the fountain (without Impa). - "Cutting the fat” allowed me to move some content from Ch. 34 into this chapter, ending it where Link finally wakes. This improves the pacing and gives me more freedom to focus on Link’s and Zelda’s confrontation/discussion in the next chapter.

Chapter 34

- Link still wakes in the fountain, basically the same scene but without Impa

- Their conversation in the Lost Woods has been altered, but it’s more or less the same concern as before = Link’s safety and well being

- In revising this story I’ve noticed I had a tendency to address too many personal conflicts at once or resolve them too quickly. In the old version of Ch. 34, Link and Zelda talked about a number of things when they were alone in the forest, but this time I wanted a straightforward conversation about one immediate issue = Link taking a less active role in the Resistance until they better understand what the curse is doing to him. The conversation ends before any agreement is made.

- Clef isn’t the only one to be hanged this time -- Kinsley has also been declared a traitor. Zelda finds out telepathically from Darunia. I felt a need to streamline that last transition in 34, and I figured Darunia would try to inform Link and Zelda asap, since the hanging is at dawn.

Chapter 35

- I really cut back on the scenes leading up to the execution. The first time I wrote this chapter I felt pressured to explain a believable rescue plan and then have it play out from Ashton’s perspective. In other words I made it more difficult than it had to be. This time I gave just enough information for the reader to trust that there’s a solid plan, but I keep the details a mystery. Ashton’s scene--when the rescue actually happens--is more effective that way. In this case there was too much redundancy in explaining the rescue and then showing it. The reader doesn’t know exactly what happened, but they know enough to trust the Resistance succeeded without being overloaded with details. That was my goal, at least. In short, I think this approach improved the delivery and the pacing of this chapter.

- I added a scene with Vasilis and Ashton. It introduces Jedrek Khar (though he’s not actually in the scene) and highlights the growing tension between Vasilis and Ashton. Vasilis dislikes Ashton, and he fears what Ashton might do next, but he tells himself that everything would work itself out if Zelda returned to the castle. He’s in denial at this point; he can’t face the gravity of his error just yet.

- One big change is that Link participates in the rescue mission, when in the previous version he stayed behind. He frees Clef and Kinsley from the gallows and in that act he reveals to the public that he is still alive. It’s a brief moment with a big impact.

- Link and Zelda argue about Link doing stupid dangerous things (again). As much as Link regrets what Zelda has endured since Ashton brought him to the necromancer, and as much as he wants to live, he still can’t bring himself to play it safe.

- Zelda suspects that Link is struggling with some underlying issue -- that the lack of concern for his own safety stems not only from being Hyrule’s Champion but from a subconscious, incessant need to prove his worth.

#Zelda #LoZ #Fortitude #fanfic #Epic Edit

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fairstarlights · 6 years

Text

Influence - Chapter 5

Summary: With everyone gone and out of the way for a couple days, Patton was looking forward to a few quiet days by himself. Nothing can really be that Pairings: Moxiety, (one sided) Prinxiety, Logince (eventually)

Chapter Word Count: 2,504

Genre: Angst/Romance.

General Story Warning: Depression, anxiety, intense fear, slightly graphic descriptions of nightmares (death,injury), overwhelming feelings, supportive Virgil, eventual fluff and happy ending.

Chapter Warnings: Sad Patton,angst, anger, descriptions of realistic heightened anxiety, trauma?

Notes: I don’t know. I take high constructive criticism on this one? 5 chapters left. Next chapter is probably going to be the last of the angst. It starts getting a whole lot nicer. I think they need a break. Plus I promised fluff and romance.

This is too sad. But I added a bit of romance development here so-

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5]

[Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10]

(crossed out if not yet posted)

As the Sides reached the top of the stairs another around of terrified screams came from Patton's room. Virgil pushed his way past the other two, nearly knocking them down and booked it down the hallway, he grabbed the doorknob, it clicked and he threw it open and ran in. He looked around to find Patton standing in the middle of the room, looking at something that Virgil couldn't see

Patton was shaking and tears were down his face. He was slowing backing up, about to run into his desk. Logan and Roman ran but Patton didn't acknowledge any of them, too focused at whatever was in front of him.

“I'm so sorry, Creativity! I didn't want to leave without you!” Patton cried out, his back bumping into his desk. His hands reached back and gripped onto it, knuckles turning white. “But Anxiety tricked me! He tricked me...he made me do it. I trusted him.” Patton whispered the three words with so much hurt in his voice. Virgil felt like he was going to throw up knowing that he caused this. He glanced over at Roman who looked both horrified and down right furious, Roman caught Virgil's gaze and glowered at him. Virgil shrunk in on himself and slowly inched away from Roman as he looked back at Patton, who was still carrying on.

“I'm also really sorry about Logic, I didn't mean to kill him!” Patton was practically screaming now, he looked frantic and desperate. He looked like Roman, or Creativity, as he called him, was going to hurt him. Virgil frowned and he felt something hit him and staggered backwards a bit, his own anxiety was still there but somehow Virgil was still slowly drawing some of Patton trait out.

“I know I said I wanted him gone but, I didn't mean it. I don't think I did.” Patton said, voice wavering. He looked down at his clothes. “I know looking at me covered in his blood is hard, but you have you believe me.” Patton's words were starting to border on hysterics and if Virgil didn't know the signs already, he would have to say just a hint of anger.

It looked like some of Patton was trying to hang on but it was slipping. He couldn't just stand here and watch. He looked over to Logan, who looked like he didn't know what to make of the words Patton was saying. Of course they didn't know what was going on. Patton was having a night terror and if they interrupted it, Patton would freak out and someone could get hurt.

“Logan. Roman.” Virgil whispered. Neither one of them paid any attention to him, Patton was now mumbling frantically to himself and clutching his stomach. There was no time to watch this play out, he had to fix his mistake. “Guys.” He said more firmly, a bit louder. Still nothing. Virgil set his jaw. He didn't know how much his own anxiety would let him get by with right now but he had to do something.

The room was dark enough to do what he needed. He vowed he would never do this again on anyone, especially them but, he had no choice right now. He was considered a villain again and if he had to act like it to save Patton, then so be it. Virgil took a deep breath and closed his eyes and called out to the creatures with his mind. His heart rate spiked and Virgil felt dizzy and nauseous but he stood his ground. He heard Roman and Logan yell out in surprise. Virgil blocked out their voices and tried to will the creatures to do his bidding.

Throw them out of the room. He called out. Okay. He could have worded that nicer. There was no response, but he didn't really expect any. He probably had too much of Patton's trait in him to hear them talking. Which could be really bad since he didn't have his eye's open and he had tuned everything out to concentrate. He stood for a few more minutes and then opened his eyes. All his blocked senses came back at once and it took a few seconds feel normal again.

He looked around to see Patton on the ground, unconscious and the other two Sides were gone and the door was shut. Virgil also noticed that the shadow creatures hadn't retreated. They were all over the room, trailing up the walls, coming out from under Patton's bed and what was worse, some were heading towards Patton. Virgil took a step forward but fell to the ground. Shoot. He was weak from using up so much energy. A shadow wrapped around Patton's leg and tightened so tight that Patton woke up and screamed.

Weak leg's be damned, he was going to get Patton out. Virgil pushed himself up and stumbled over the table closest to Patton and leaned on it. Virgil looked back to Patton who was thrashing around as more tried to grab on. Wait. Patton, could control them too if he tried.

“Patton, listen I know you're scared but you can call them off.”

“Easy for you to say, you're the one who did this to me.” Patton snapped as his right arm was snatched and forcefully pulled down. Patton then made a face of disdain and looked away “If you hadn't have made me go through that door, I wouldn't be in this mess. Can you imagine what Thomas is going through right now? Can you even imagine? We are hurting him and he has no clue! He's going to be calling us eventually to figure it out and when he see's all of this chaos? He's going to break and frankly?” Patton's voice lowered, sounding uncharacteristically dark and bitter, “I'm not going to let that happen.”

“And what do you plan on doing?” Virgil questioned, raising an eyebrow. Stay calm. Stay calm.

“I'm a mess!” Patton laughed, seeming like his normal self for a moment, “He can't have his Morality in this state. I have to go back.” More creatures latched onto him and he struggled against them, but was already looking worn out.

“Go back?” Patton looked at Virgil, giving him a ‘are you serious’ look.

“Back into the subconscious, duh! I'm going to deconstruct my physical self and save Thomas from me.”

Oh. He wasn't doing this to save himself. He was doing this to save Thomas. That did make sense, Thomas' safety was their number one priority after all. But he didn't want to lose Patton. Tears started welling up in his eyes at the thought of how much Patton was suffering and what he was willing to do. He loved Patton, so much. He would do anything for him and-then the anxiety kicked in and mentally slapped him for the sudden vulnerability he was showing.

Both he and Patton were messed up and Patton wasn't handling it at all. He was basically saying he was going to go kill himself and Virgil wasn't handling Patton's trait as well anymore, which didn't feel too bad if he was being completely honest, but it was kind of embarrassing.

He knew there was more to Patton's trait than this, he had seen to much of it, admired it even. It was just the circumstances that were making him act this way. The same with Patton. The Influencing wasn't going over well anymore. Not that it was going great in the first place but now it was getting overwhelming for himself and he only had one option considering Patton's new threat. Virgil glanced back at the door, he should probably tell them.

Virgil walked over to the door and got a close as he could to it. “Logan, Roman. I'm going to do it.” Silence. Then-

“Do what? If you hurt him-” Came Roman's voice and Virgil laughed, quietly and sadly.

“No. I'm not going to hurt Patton but he-” Virgil's voice caught in his throat. “He won't be the quite the same. Neither of us will.”

“Virgil, there are other options. You said so yourself. You could find help and come back. I see no need to take such drastic and life altering decisions when we can look ways.” Logan. He knew what Virgil was talking about. But he didn't know the severity of what was going on.

“Patton is threatening to go back into the subconscious. To deconstruct his physical form so he can just be Thomas' morality. He's afraid he's going to hurt Thomas too much. I understand his reasoning, I do. But I can't let that happen. I love him far too much to let him go.” Ah, damn. These random outburst of feelings were making frustrated and concerned.

“The Influence from Patton is making you unstable as well. Let us in and we and talk this out.” Logan said with a hint of desperation in his voice, Virgil could tell he it was taking all of him keep composed. Well screw composure.

“Logan and Roman. I'm sorry this happened. I should have come to you both when my feelings developed...” Virgil trailed off then frowned, “No. I should have told you about it right from the start. I'm really sorry about that. That was important information and I didn't share it.”

“Yes, it is important, although I do believe I have to apologize myself.” Virgil's eyebrows shot up.

“Why?”

“I know thing's haven't been great been Patton, Roman and I with you in the past. Although we have been trying to fix things and to make you feel more welcome and apart of the group. Trust takes time. It would be foolish of any of us to expect you to disclose about your past so soon. This isn't the most idealistic way to find out about...”Logan trailed off, there was a long silence. “Roman wants to know if this would actually be permanent. Is there no way to reverse it once the exchange has been made?”

Virgil licked his dry his lips as his tried to think back, trying to remember if he ever saw a Trait Exchange be undone. Virgil's gut curled. No. He hadn't. Once the original trait had been pulled out and been replace with something else, that was it. Patton would still technically be Patton. He would have his interests and passions, probably. Anxiety was one hell of a trait but was manageable if you knew what you were doing. Virgil knew what Patton would be going through, he would be able to help him. Probably.

If they switched, he wouldn't be Anxiety. Would he actually be able to help him? Everything his anxiety instilled in him would be gone and replaced with Morality. He...wasn't exactly sure what that would entail and he wished he could ask Patton but, he doubted he would give him an answer right now. He wished Logan knew all the answers. He wished he could go to the darker side of the MindScape and force answers out of someone. He wished he had more time.

Virgil groaned and let his head fall gently against the door. If he switched traits, Patton would be Anxiety. That wasn't a pleasant feeling but that wasn't his biggest concern. It was how you coped with it. Virgil learned to cope with it but it took decades. Although, that wasn't entirely his fault. His secondary trait was Caution. Or, you could say that was his original trait before Caution manifests into several smaller things before ultimately creating Anxiety.

He had always been Anxiety, but his initial first trait was Caution. It still is, technically. Virgil sighed and looked back to Patton, who was looking at Virgil with a sad, defeated look. The shadows were gone but the light in Patton's eye's that were once bright and shining like the sun were now dim and barely held any shine. Virgil looked back at the door and whispered, “Just know that I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me.” There were muffled protests as he walked away.

“Virgil.” Patton whispered. Virgil had barely heard him but he had caught it. Patton had broke through, he had called Virgil by his actual name. He sounded so broken though. Virgil moved towards Patton and sat on the ground next to him. Patton stared at Virgil, studying his face for a long time before looking down at own lap.”I'm scared. I don't know what's happening to me.” He was still whispering but could hear him just fine.

“I know, Pat. This is all my fault. If it had just explained that I had developing feeling you and explained what would happen if you reciprocated, this wouldn't be happening.” Patton's head shot up and stared at Virgil, wide eyed. Virgil felt his cheeks heat up and he turned his head away at Patton's reaction to his sudden confession. To be honest, he wasn't sure if Patton was acting surprised at the confession or the fact the the whole feelings thing cause this to happen to him. If Virgil had to guess, it was probably the latter.

“You...You have feelings for me?” Patton asked, with surprise laced in his voice.

He guessed wrong. Virgil nodded, facing Patton. “I know you feel the same way or else this wouldn't be happening. I can't explain everything right now, we don't have the time.” Patton's shocked expression slowly started to leave and turned into confusion.

“I don't understand anything. I feel myself getting irritable and then I feel guilty about it later, my stomach is upset like I'm nauseous. My heart pounds so hard sometimes it feels like it's going to explode and it makes it hard to breathe.”

Patton frowned and looked around the room, “I have these horrible nightmares, at least, I think they are.” Patton took a long pause, chewing on his bottom lip, then started back up, “Logan and Roman, they're alive, right?” Patton's eyes shifted to Virgil nervously, looking for conformation. Virgil nodded. Patton breathed out in relief. “I can't even name everything that's happening to me. It's scary and if I think about it I get this tight feeling in my chest like there are...” Patton trailed off.

“There are a thousand angry wasps.” Virgil finished.

“I'm so conflicted inside. I want this to stop.” Patton said with almost no emotion as he absentmindedly ran his hand over the top of the carpet. Virgil's heart broke. He didn't know how to stop it completely. Not yet. He could leave and get help, but leaving Patton with the others with little to no knowledge of how to handle panic and anxiety attacks, even the aftermath of the nightmares would be a nightmare in itself. If he left and came back to Patton in a worsened state, there might be nothing he could do to fix it. He had to do it.

Virgil placed his hand on top of Patton's un-moving hand. “I know all this must feel overwhelming but I can help if you let me. You can't handle both at the same time and I wont allow you to deconstruct yourself. Please, Patton, work with me. Allow me to save you, me and Thomas from all this hurt.” Patton looked down at Virgil's hand for a few minutes. Virgil was barely able to contain a smile. Patton tried so hard to be strong all the time, he was always so kind and loving. Even if he was going through something himself. Today, Virgil was going to do whatever it took to help Patton through this, if Patton accepted.

Patton took another deep breath then nodded, looking up at Virgil with a determined and confident face that Virgil knew had to fake. Virgil was scared and if he was, Patton surely was too. Patton next words though, was all that he needed to hear.

“Okay. What do we have to do?”

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#moxiety #romantic moxiety #patton/virgil #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #influence #plz reblog and comment in the tags or something idk i like reading them #plus #prinxiety #logince #my work

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prevsapphism · 7 years

Text

make chronically ill characters you tepid fools.

another Interesting thing i’ve noticed in my time on here in the rpc is that the rpc is mostly peopled by able-bodied characters. in my almost decade ( Lorge Yikes ) on this site, i’ve only seen two ( 2 ) Actually Disabled characters. in all of the hundreds of thousands that exist or have existed here. two. Count Them. Two.

i’ve also noticed, in fic, when characters are disabled, they usually seem to have their disabilities ignored or erased ( fanon alana bloom, anyone? she was pushed Fairly Violently out of a window? and most fanworks of her have her Completely Upright And Fine as though the injury were very minor and not. You Know. Life-Threatening? ) or, we serve as Inspiration or a Sad Pitiful Comparison to make Shiny Ablebodied people look better. ( looking at you, fanon charles xavier. ) if i didn’t know any better, it would seem as though the rpc is doesn’t want to write disabled characters because they find us repulsive, cumbersome and generally gross and undesirable.

but since so many of you don’t know what ableism is when it’s not right in front of you, i’m going to be nice, give you all the benefit of the doubt and show you how to write us better.

first of all, you, the presumably abled writer and / or character, need to heed these four ( 4 ) factors before i continue:

please remember your character is disabled. i can’t tell you how many times in fanwork that i’ve seen disability acknowledged once and never come up again, which is especially disrespectful to real live disabled people because we don’t get to forget. neither should you lmfao.

disabled characters are usually written with very little or no insight into the disability itself, which makes for a shit portrayal. this post should not be your only character building source for disability. as you should with every other foray into a subject you’re unfamiliar with, do ya research and do it thoroughly. i’m not saying look at medical textbooks five hours a day, but don’t just spend five minutes on webmd and then call it a night holy fuck.

if you have a Gasping Need to make your disabled character exist alongside an abled one and have them ( the abled character ) look better, do it, i suppose ( sarcasm, ) but think about where your decision for making them disabled comes from and why you want to do it.

don’t use person-first language. don’t use person-first language. don’t use person-first language. don’t use person-first language. don’t use person-first language. your character does not have a disability, ( ie they’re not a ‘person with ____,’ ) they are disabled. they are a disabled person. disabilities aren’t some Wicked Cool Limited Edition Skin you get in your Human Person Loot Box that you can take off whenever you want. they are very often integral parts of our identity and you demonstrate a very superficial knowledge of what disabilities actually are when you phrase them this way.

but queen morgaine, how am i going to make my disabled character good and compelling? fear not, reader-- here is a list of disability and chronic illness things you can and are encouraged to apply to your character to make them more realistic and nuanced!!!!!

able-bodied people can and are encouraged to reblog, other disabled people are enthusiastically encouraged to add on.

sleep. sleep is a very loaded subject in disability. a lot of us, like those with fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue, sleep a lot. being incapacitated by your own Flesh Enclosure all the time saps so much of your energy you Would Not Believe. we also very often do not feel Refreshed or Energised when we wake up because of our pre-existing conditions. we sometimes take naps in an attempt to assuage our fatigue, but they’re usually hit or miss-- i like to say that We Do Not Take Naps, Naps Take Us. on the other end of the scale, a lot of us don’t sleep at all or sleep very little because our disabilities keep us from falling asleep for long stretches, whether it be from being in pain, being sick, or being Overall Uncomfortable. here’s how this could look in your disabled character:

cancelling plans to take a nap or lie down.

leaving plans early to take a nap or lie down.

erratic fatigue-- not being tired when they should be ( ie in the middle of the night ) but being overwhelmingly tired the next day.

like i said, not feeling refreshed, or even more tired when they wake up.

feeling pain in their sleep.

sleeping an entire day or very long stretches.

being kept awake for long stretches by their illness.

physical aids. this isn’t a given for every disabled person, but i’m putting it here because characters that are disabled don’t often have them in fiction. for openers, they should absolutely be portrayed in a positive, or at the very least neutral light. most of us irl are happy to make our lives easier as much as we can, so it doesn’t make much sense to have them suck in fiction. ( except for . You Know. Ableism, but like i said. benefit of the doubt. ) a physical aid can be as simple as a fidget toy that keeps us grounded in our brainfog or something as complex and noticeable as a service dog or a wheelchair. here are some ideas:

Ever-Present water bottles and especially electrolyte drinks like gatorade, vitamin water and my Personal Favourite, sobe lifewater ( not sponsored. ) very useful for those of us with vitamin imbalances, or those of us with pots or vertigo that makes getting dehydrated very easy and very unpleasant.

also taking supplements in or with our food for these deficiencies.

canes!!!! canes!!!!! canes!!!! canes!!!!! especially on younger people!!!!! people under 40 use canes!!!!! give us cool canes!!!! give us canes that match what we’re wearing!!!! give us canes that fold up to fit in our bags that we carry round all the time!!!!! give us canes!!!!!

service dogs!!!!!

crutches!!!!!

meds we carry round all the time!!!!! i know very few chronically ill people that don’t take meds throughout the day or at least once!!!!!

also, if your character uses mobility / household aides or prostheses etc they'll need maintenance or replacing at some point! maybe even multiple points!

variability. chronic illness is an extremely mutable subject. this means a few things-- one, our range of ability, whether it be mental effort, physical limits or otherwise differs from day to day. sometimes even from hour to hour. two, our ‘okay’ or ‘personal best / Weekly High Score’ may not match up with your ( able-bodied ) ‘okay.’ your ‘did okay today’ may mean ‘went to class, did homework and tidied desk,’ but our ‘did okay today’ may mean ‘changed our clothes and / or took a shower’ or ‘ate [ a decent ] lunch.’ and that was The Most we accomplished all day. chronic illness saps all your energy and your motivation. this is especially important if your character is mentally ill as well. this also means that some of us can go out dancing one night when we were bedridden the day before, but going down a long flight of stairs the next day or earlier that day can be too much. anyway here’s how this can look:

like i said, getting excited about or talking about their Little Victories to other people-- how they ate breakfast, washed their clothes or hair, looked after their pet, and that was it. ( please congratulate us / them for these, by the way. it means a lot. )

being able to do one thing but not another, like being able to clean a set of dishes or walk a dog, but not being able to walk four blocks or clean a bathroom.

conversely, being fine earlier, but not being all right now-- like being pretty okay with walking four blocks, but feeling terrible an hour, or even ten minutes, after and being in too much pain to walk.

getting too hot and needing to go somewhere to cool down, or being really cold and needing a sweater within a very short time period.

being nauseous from not eating or drinking but being too nauseous to eat or drink.

new symptoms or issues popping up out of nowhere or periodically-- ‘oh shit, my hips are aching again. what have i done now.’ ‘great now i have headaches for some g-dforsaken reason. are you kidding i only get those when its cold.’ ‘uGh why the fuck am i shaking all over? i thought i stopped doing that!!!’

appearance. many of us have the energy to keep up with a personal style or Aesthetic. some of us don’t. this is kind of self explanatory, but here’s how it could look in your character:

wearing the Lowest Effort outfit-- a shirt, some leggings and a sweater.

wearing a Really Nice Outfit, but having their range of mobility for the day compromised due to having to set aside some energy to look nice.

not combing or brushing their hair.

messy living spaces. we don’t have the energy to be tidy all the time. we barely have the energy to get out of bed most of the time. your character should probably follow suit.

The Medical Debacle. doctors can often do chronically ill people more harm than good. a lot of us are treated as Medical Mysteries™ due to having rare illnesses or having symptoms that don’t make sense, whether it be because they conflict with other symptoms we have-- for example, it took, and is taking, ages for me to get a proper fibro diagnosis because i’m chronically anaemic and have a fluctuating but pervasive eating disorder as well, so it’s very hard for medical professionals to distinguish which illness is causing what. Or Something. also, a lot of our insurance companies may not cover certain procedures or meds, which we often learn by surprise when we go to get checked out or treated. doctors can deliberate on giving us a diagnosis when everything we’ve told them we have matches up with that illness because it doesn’t ~fit us~ or some bs as well. they will also suggest or prescribe things that we’ve already tried and don’t work ( i can’t tell you how many of my hypermobile friends have been told to try yoga. ) sometimes we have to Actively Battle for certain types of treatment or for a certain diagnosis. here are some more examples for characterisation.

health scares that end your character up in the hospital.

multiple urgent care, doctor or hospital visits.

having to fight for or argue with a doctor for a diagnosis.

The Hospital Smell. You Know The One. we have nightmares about this smell.

ambient Hospital Noise in a setting.

The Debt They’ll Rack Up for being in and out of the Medical Circut all the fuckening time if they don’t have good insurance. sometimes even if they do. Chronic Illness Is Magic.

your character’s meds getting switched round a lot while the doctors try to figure out what they have and their reaction to those meds.

getting annoyed with ( a ) doctor( s ) for not diagnosing them with something they know they have or not prescribing them a treatment they know they need.

your character getting an mri or some other screening / evaluation and getting a wrong diagnosis that’s much worse than or not enough for what they actually have.

your character not having a diagnosis at all or having their symptoms overlooked and being frustrated about it.

some nice touches you should also include in your characterisation:

please consider making your character the protagonist of their story. so often we are sidelined and eclipsed by abled characters, so it would be very much appreciated if we got to drive the narrative for once.

a lot of us are mentally ill as well-- i can’t think of a single one of my physically ill friends who isn’t neurodivergent too. please consider making your physically ill character mentally ill, or even autistic, in combination to their physical illness. a lot of us are also self-deprecating to cope with all that we go through every day, so a few jibes at themself every once in awhile is good to include in your character too.

disabled people date and fall in love. aro rep is well and good or whateva, but ( head )canoning a disabled character as aro is not at all revolutionary in any respect and it contributes to the Undesirable Cumbersome stereotype you want to stay away from.

Disabled People Have Sex. we often have to have sex Around our disabilities, ie circumvent them before, during and after sex, But We Have Sex. ace rep is well and good or whateva, but making a disabled character ace is not revolutionary and again, makes us look incapable of being worthy of sexual desire, as well as having pretty Nasty Implications overall. disabled. people. have. sex. i encourage you to make your disabled characters have sex.

don’t make your supernatural monster character disabled unless you make your monster’s disability and their Monsterhood mutually exclusive, and better yet don’t do it unless you have a good disabled character too. it reinforces the stigma that disabled people are to be ostracised and othered for something we can’t help. your monster is not a monster because they’re disabled, your monster is a monster because they eat people or whatever the fuck.

Anyway Thats It Bye send me an ask here or over at @trustawitch if you have any questions and @ me or send me an ask here or trustawitch if you end up making a disabled character! i’d love to see them!! xoxo

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iellarenuodolorian · 4 years

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Mandoctober Day 18

Arvala-7

Words:2.2k (I hate it when they get away from me like this)

Pairing:Female!Mandalorian reader X Din Djarin

Summary: Meeting up with Din and catching up on recent events. Also, it gets a little steamy at the end (if you read between the lines)

Warnings: Pain, Injuries, death, angst, but the end gets fluffy!(and a lottle steamy)

~9 ABY

In the early hours of the morning, your comm pinged you awake with a new message. Running the usual decrypt code, you discovered it was from Din and it was a set of coordinates. Instantly wide awake, you composed a quick message to Bo saying you had a lead and were leaving now.

In your message to Ailyn you promised to find out what happened with Fennec and give her the full story.

Take the ship at the end of the landing field, and give me the codes for yours and I will retrieve it for you and take care of it until you return. Bo.

Well, that solved that problem. Sitting down in the small cockpit, you began the preflight checklist and pulled up the navicomputer to punch in the coordinates Din had sent you.

Why is he always on these backwater nowhere planets, you thought to yourself. Arvala-7 was just as desolate as any other place he had been recently, but there must have been a reason why he was here. Lifting off into the air, you quickly cleared the atmosphere and gravity well of the planet and engaged the hyperdrive. The blue swirls of hyperspace would never cease to mesmerize you, and a small nap would probably be beneficial for you.

As you laid your head back and closed your eyes, you let your mind wander through the memories you have with Din. Your first meeting after the raid on the Death Watch camp and how you pleaded for his life with Bo. Training and spending time with him and developing a connection with him. Finding your own paths in the clans but still staying connected. All the times you almost lost him, and how good it felt to just be with him after those near death experiences. As much as you had always wanted to give him your heart, the lives each of you led made that difficult. There had been so many nights where you wanted to know every inch of his body and you wanted him to know every inch of yours. Sure, you had slept next to each other many nights but nothing else had come from those nights. Just the comfort of his body heat and his strong arms wrapped around you.

It felt like you had only been asleep for five minutes when the navicomputer started beeping to let you know that you would be dropping out of hyperspace soon. Scanning the controls to make sure everything was still running at the appropriate levels, you prepared to ease the lever back and watch the swirls turn back into individual points of light.

A tracking signal popped up on the main display, and led you to a small farm on the northern hemisphere. There was one main building, with several smaller sheds scattered around it, and enclosed pens with some of the local mounts roaming around inside. You spotted the Crest parked off on the west side, so you set the ship down on the east side of the farm.

With your stomach doing flips and the butterflies threatening to escape, you took a deep breath and started down the ramp. It took you all of a few seconds to find Din sitting next to the main building while the small green child leaped and laughed as he chased the green amphibian creatures around on the ground. Your walking pace almost turned into a run as you jogged toward Din. Grasping his forearm in your one hand as a greeting, you placed your other hand on the side of his helmet and tilted it to yours so they were touching.

You both let out a sigh of relief, and when you let go of Din’s arm both his hands came up to embrace both sides of your helmet and your other hand went to the center of his chest. You stood like that for what felt like hours, until a small set of hands could be felt touching your leg and a soft coo caused you to divert your attention to the creature.

Din reached down and picked it up, setting him in his arms so he could face you and stick its small arms out toward you. “I think he wants you to hold him.”

“Um, I’m not the best with kids. Maybe we should get to know each other first, little guy.”

“Let’s head inside, I have a lot to tell you cyar’ika.”

Bending in half and following Din inside the beautiful main building, you could tell someone skilled with their hands had built the place. There was a small table sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, with scattered snacks sitting on top of it. Din sat the child down next to him, and you sat across from them, and at the same time you and Din reached up and removed your helmets together.

Your eyes widened in fear, he looked like osik. There was a small scar across the bridge of his nose, his eyes were still puffy, his hair was matted and tangled, and there were still small bits of dried blood here and there on his face.

Reaching down to pull your glove off, your hand shot across the small table to his face and you quietly whispered “Cyare, what happened? Is this how I almost lost you?”

The Child made a sad coo, and you looked at it and saw its ears drooping and a sad expression on its face, and you realized this child is as connected to Din as you are. Picking up a piece of fruit, you offered it to the child and watched him eat it.

“I’ll start at the beginning.”

Din explained how he took the bounty for the child, found him, had to put the Crest back together with the help of the ugnaught who lived on this farm and helped him find the child when he first took the bounty. How the child saved him from a mudhorn while trying to earn back his stolen parts from the Jawas, and when he went to turn the child in, he accepted the payment of a camtono of beskar from an Imperial. But when he tried to leave for his next bounty, he couldn’t stand not knowing what was going to happen to the child. So he went back and rescued it and incurred the wrath of the Guild and went on the run with the child. Running did not solve any problems it only created more. So when the Guildmaster reached out with a proposition to take out the Imperial contact, the opportunity was too good to pass up. Except there was another player involved that almost took the child and killed everyone. It was the ISB agent responsible for the Purge after the Clone War, and the man currently in possession of the Darksaber.

By the end of Din’s tale, the sun was setting and through the window you had a perfect view of the blues and purples that streaked across the sky. Din looked exhausted, but the child stuck his small hands out toward his buir so Din picked him up and set him in his lap. You remembered seeing a circular pod in the open shed on your way inside, so you stood up and told Din you would be right back.

Walking back inside with the small hovering pod, the child’s ears perked up and an excited squeak came from him. Din set him in the pod and almost instantly he made himself comfy, curling up and closing his eyes. Din pressed a button on the outside and the windows closed, and you knew this was your chance to give him some much needed attention.

Scooting over to his side of the table, you gently placed your hand on his cheek and offered to help him get cleaned up. Din closed his eyes and gave a small nod and a gentle kiss to the palm of your hand, so you began removing your armor and setting it in a pile to one side of what was more than likely a bedroom. Finding the smaller shower unit in the refresher, you turned on the water hoping it would be at least a little warm by the time you got Din back there.

When you came back out to get Din, you saw he had gotten out of his boots, and some of his armor, but was struggling with the pieces on his chest and back.

“I’m still sore from the explosion. The bacta has worked its miracle, but it doesn’t do much for soreness.”

“Then its a good thing you have me to help cyare.” Removing the rest of his armor and setting it next to yours, you grabbed one of the small stools around the table to take with to the ‘fresher for Din to sit on since standing was not a realistic possibility.

Setting the stool down in the water for Din, you turned to leave when his hand found yours, and the softest and most sad brown eyes stared straight into your soul and the softest whisper for help escaped his lips.

Gently, you pulled Din’s shirt off and tossed it on the floor behind you. You only stole a quick glance at his bare chest, before meeting his eyes and not being able to look away. You heard the soft rustle of his pants being slid down his trim hips, and the soft thud of them being tossed behind you. Din’s fingers gently tugged at the hem of your shirt, while his eyes began searching yours for any sign of hesitation or uncertainty. Understanding his silent question, you slowly raised your arms so he could slip your shirt off over your head and toss it behind you into the pile. Din sat back into the water and let it start running down his body, turning it a soft shade of pink in a couple streams. You stepped out of your long pants, so you were left with your close fitting top and shorts on, and Din was left in his briefs.

Joining him in the water, you gently started working out the tangles in his hair. There were clumps of dried blood everywhere in his hair, and it shattered your heart to watch him flinch ever so slightly when you touched a certain spot on his head. Parting his hair as gently as possible, you finally found the source of his pain. A jagged red line could be traced from just behind his right ear to almost the middle of the back of his head, from the explosion. Unable to contain yourself any longer, you let the tears fall from your eyes at how close you finally knew you had been to losing him. Din turned to look at you, just as the first tears started falling. Moving the small stool out of the way, Din leaned back against the side of the ‘fresher and pulled you into his arms. Wrapping one arm around his waist, your other arm found its way around his neck. Din began pressing soft kisses along your hairline and along your jaw, while his arms kept you tightly pressed to his chest.

After a few minutes the tears stopped falling, and you sat back far enough to be able to look Din in the eye. Bringing your hands up to hold his face, you tried to give him an encouraging smile to let him know you were feeling better, but he knew your smile didn’t even make it close to your eyes. You felt his own hands slide up your arms, across your shoulders, and only when his fingers reached your neck did they stop moving. His thumbs wiped away the remaining tears from your cheeks, his eyes briefly glanced at your lips, and then they were sliding closed and his lips were meeting yours. It had been so long, you had almost forgotten the softness of his lips. The way his mustache tickled your nose and scraped against your lips. The smoothness of his tongue as it danced over your lips and into your mouth. The taste of him as your mouths moved together, the gentle moans of pleasure escaping from both of you.

After your lips had finished saying hello to each other, you broke apart just long enough to decide that it was time to move on to somewhere more comfortable. Turning off the water, you grabbed a small towel from a peg in the wall outside the ‘fresher and began to dry Din’s back and arms, pressing soft kisses over the exposed skin along the way. Din took the towel from you and began returning the favor, except when his mouth was on your skin it was a bit more firm and needy. You couldn’t stop a few soft moans from escaping whenever his kisses were just a bit more firm than necessary.

Placing a hand on your cheek to turn you to face him, Din began kissing you with more urgency. The kisses were filled with such passion that suddenly you were lying on your back on the small pad that must have been the bed. You began running your hands all over his back and chest, taking full advantage of his broad frame keeping you safe beneath him. You lost yourself in the passion of the night, glancing up every now and then out the window to see the stars dancing above you.

All you remember before falling asleep in Din’s arms is being so very happy and satisfied.

Osik-dung (more appropriately sh*t) [OH-sik]

Cyare- beloved, loved [SHAH-ray]

Buir-father/mother [boo-EER]

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

Thank you for reading my silly ideas, it means the world to me 💙 I am also experimenting writing this steamy fluff, so if it’s not the best its because I’m still learning.

Previous Chapter -> Next Chapter

#mandoctober #my writing #i got carried away with this one oops

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sidgenoangstfest · 7 years

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Prompt Masterlist

Thanks so much to everyone who submitted prompts! We have so many and I hope that one (or more) of them inspire you! Below the cut is a masterlist of all of the prompts from the form/google list. They are separated by AU and Non-AU. The two prompts pertaining to AO3 warning topics are posted separately.

Non-AU Prompts

1. Geno ends up leaving to play in the Olympics, but Sid does the good boy Canadian thing and stays and then Russia wins and Canada not only loses but loses badly and media starts blaming Sid and Geno doesn't know how to make it better

2. Future fic: Sid and Geno had some false starts, could never really get their shit together -- maybe Sid wasn't ready to get married or have kids, maybe Geno really couldn't reconcile living as an out gay man and be committed to his country. Geno retires before Sid, goes back to Russia to raise his family, and try to forget that Sid might have been the love of his life, that he chose country over seeing what could have been. Sid either retires or, for maximum angst, suffers a career-ending injury (not a concussion, maybe, that's even too much for me!), and goes back to Halifax where he continues with his hockey school, get his history degree, billets some kids in the Q, and tries to be okay with being alone. Geno and Anna get divorced but are still close; Sid tries to date some but just can't make a connection. When Nikita is 16, he's drafted to the Halifax Mooseheads of the QMJHL, and Sid volunteers to billet him. He calls Geno to make sure it's okay, it's the first time they've talked in literally years, and it's awkward and terrible and neither one of them know what to say or want to hang up. Nikita says yes and he comes to live with Sid. Cue Sid and Geno dancing around each other from afar, Sid having to see the evidence LIVING IN HIS HOUSE that he couldn't give Geno the thing he wanted, which was a marriage and a good Russian son, and Geno having to get regular updates on the alternate timeline he told himself he didn't think about anymore, Sid and his son under the same roof, puttering around the house and skating on the pond in Sid's backyard, Sid speaking his terrible, flat Russian. Geno comes to visit, uhhhh, I don't know, more emotional shit happens, lots of hurt feelings and UST and then they finally work their shit out and Geno moves back to America and in with Sid and they give it a go and are happy and content but because this is an angst fest the last twist of the knife is that Nikita gets drafted to the Flyers and Sidney is devastated and Geno laughs in his face for five days the end.

3. Sid and Geno as fuckbuddies who are both super emotionally invested and probably in love with each other but both assume the other is just in it for the sex. They break up about 80 times and keep falling back into bed together, each one promising himself THIS TIME would be the last time. They're making themselves miserable along with everyone else who can very clearly see the issue but neither of them can. Lots of sex followed by emotional turmoil rinse repeat

4. I want a good old fashioned Canadian shack fic with a snowed-in plot twist. Maybe during bye week (I think the 2014/15 season would be a good brewing ground for this kind of plot) Sid and Geno rent a cabin somewhere in the Canadian wilderness to decide once and for all where to take their on-again/off-again love affair that spans nearly a decade by now. (Could also be that they've been tip-toeing around their attraction to each other for a decade, unsure whether or not to ever do anything about it.) It's probably not the best time for it. The season isn't going well. They're both worn and exhausted, maybe battling injuries, and predictably they have a fight not long after arriving that ends with Geno (could be Sid) taking off in the middle of a snowstorm. Whoever is left behind has some regrets about what was said when the wind and snow picks up and they're beside themselves, worrying about the one who left. Eventually whoever left comes back, maybe in the car, maybe by foot, and they end up snowed-in together in their Canadian shack. (They're millionaires, it's probably not actually a shack.) Ideally, they resolve their problems (or at least start to work on them) and decide to live happily ever after but I'll leave that up to the writer.

5. Geno's contract is up and Sid doesn't know if he's going to re-sign or go somewhere else (can be future fic or when his bridge contract ended in 13-14)

6. Sid has a big gay crush on Geno and is Not handling it well.

7. Something about Olympics and the political tension.

8. I'd love to see a fic that explores the dynamic of Geno being so emotionally romantic and occasionally dramatic (seriously, he rented an actual tiger for Anna's birthday) and Sid being so stoic and intensely private about his love life. Their differences in personality seems like a great brewing ground for romantic misunderstandings. 9. Ideally features Sid making a grand romantic gesture of some kind.

10. post-loss h/c

11. This isn't really a prompt but PINING. I want all the pining. One of them or both being absolutely convinced there's no way the other could ever love them back. Could be any kind of setting. Fuck buddies. Arranged marriage. Fake dating. Best Friends. ABO.

12. Tournament angst. Olympics for max angst, Worlds for a notch down. Sid and Geno very tentatively start fooling around shortly before said tournament, and Canada’s victory throws a wrench in the emotional works. Lots of sneaking around and feelings.

13. Breakup fic. Geno was ready for kids, and Sid wasn't. Now, Geno's with Anna, she's moved to Pittsburgh, they're both glowing, and Sid's at a low point in his career and is filled with grief and regret. He asks Geno for a second chance, and Geno tells him Anna's pregnant and it's too late. Make me cry.

14. "There have been a lot of changes to the team this summer and the Pens core is never going to be the same and gosh, we're thirty and I'm afraid our best days are behind us" Sid/Geno style. Semi-realist angst. Bonus (but unnecessary) "you're the only constant in a sea of change" type resolution.

15. Lockout separation!! G going back to Russia, and Sid staying in Pittsburgh to mediate, long distance relationship angst!

16. Retirement, "we went our separate ways without telling each other how we feel"--type stuff

17. “I thought things were going great.”

18. Better late than never

19. Sid visits Geno in Russia for the first time since they started getting together, and Geno's awkward about it because internalized homophobia and also Russia's homophobia, and it strains their relationship.

20. in the midst of a great season (and great for him personally), sid vanishes. after the season is done, geno receives his call, and goes to find out what happened.

21. cheating. Just--cheating.

22. One thinks the other is cheating/one thinks the other wants to break up, so they decide to bite the bullet and break up first. authors choice whether or not the communication happens during the break up or days/weeks/months/YEARS after.

23. amnesia fic!

24. Sid overhears a phone call and mistakenly thinks Geno is moving back to Russia/KHL/whatever you want. So he starts to pull away and be cold and distant and this upsets Geno a LOT. And Sid obviously. And generally everyone is sad... until it gets sorted after the team throws him a going away party and then afterwards everyone is happy and S/G fall in love. (I'm thinking they weren't together at first but honestly if anyone wants to write this... they could maybe be a couple. Makes it more angsty!)

25. Geno wants to come out. Sid doesn't.

26. a story about outing, and maybe with some time travel?

27. Pet death.... :( hurt/comfort. Maybe later on, adopting something small and fluffy together.

28. Russia recalls its players, forcing them to choose between leaving the NHL or giving up Russian citizenship.

29. Post-retirement, they meet again at the Olympics, Sid coaching team Canada and Geno on team Russia's staff. They haven't spoken in almost a decade.

30. Unrequited? Sid has a girlfriend that he's talking about marriage with. Seems like it's time for Geno to move on.

31. They've been fuck buddies for a while now, but Sid can't take it any more. Geno makes one joke too many about his booty call and Sid calls it all off.

32. Where they've been broken up for a while and maybe one of them has juuuust started to move on and then they start spending a bunch of time together again for reasons and see all those things in each other that they loved and miss. Just so much sadness and bittersweetness and nostalgia. Doesn't have to end up with them back together necessarily.

33. something to do with Sid having anxiety? I feel like a lot of his rituals and stuff could really be seen as coping mechanisms, and it's be interesting to see if maybe that impacts his relationship with Geno, or if Sid's afraid of it impacting his relationship with Geno.

34. One of them confesses feelings for the other. The feelings aren't mutual.

35. You know that pic from worlds 2015, where Sid is sitting in the locker room and looking (really beautiful and) like he's holding back tears? What is an angstfest-appropriate backstory to that? Is it maybe linked to Sid's not-so-stellar start to the 2015-2016 season too? (Initially I thought about this from Sid's POV, but Geno's could also work really well!) [NOTE FROM MOD: https://sidsass.tumblr.com/post/163755745701]

36. G gets engaged. Sid goes off the deep end.

37. Citing his wish to avoid permanent damage following repeat concussions, Sid "quietly" retires at the beginning of the '17-'18 season on the condition that G gets the C. The reality is that his exhausted from harboring his unrequited feelings AND from G not getting the recognition he deserves. He officially passes the baton but otherwise avoids seeing or talking to Geno and gradually disappears. Years down the line, G finds out the truth.

38. Sid starts exhibiting psychological/behavioral symptoms of post-concussion syndrome. This puts a strain on his and Geno's relationship.

39. Forced outing (of either of them or both) leads to homophobia from both fans and teammates and potentially disastrous consequences

40. One of them wakes up in 2012 again

41. Sid and Geno are fuck-buddies until one of them is outed. The other has to choose - come out or don't come out. And figure out their feelings about each other (can they weather this storm or is this the end of their friendship too?)

42. Geno is forced to go back to Russia for Secret Angsty Reasons. He tries to keep in contact with the team, but eventually they grow further apart until the only contact they have is through social media. Fast forward 10 years, Sid is retired and goes on holiday to [place], where he finds Geno, and Secret Angsty Reasons become not-so-secret.

43. One of them is injured in a potentially career-ending way

44. One of them is outed by a teammate

45. Internalised homophobia

46. Fake relationship where one of them is in love but the other isn't

47. Sid finally makes it to Russia with Geno...for Geno's wedding ceremony.

48. Sid gets a concussion and seems like he's recovering well...except he doesn't remember his relationship with Geno. They had just gotten together, everything still really new, and they hadn't told anyone because Sid insisted they wait until after the season. So Geno has no one to turn to, has to act like everything is fine, even though his heart is breaking because Sid is treating him like nothing more than a friend. More angst potential: Sid dates around! Someone on the team definitely had figured it out and now Geno's wishing for when he was dealing with it alone because the pity is even worse! Geno slowly realizing that maybe Sid did this to himself because he didn't want to ever come out and his brain took the opportunity to erase their relationship before he was in too deep! Just put Geno through absolute emotional hell.

49. Destined to kill each other and there is no love will redeem the other option here.

50. The fallout of their divorce. What now?

51. sid learning how to be less than perfect

52. set before and during the 2023-24 season. sid and geno aren't together but both are privately thinking they should finally make a move. then over the summer geno (who signed a contract the year before that ends at the same point as sid's, so they can retire together) is traded to a team the pens only play once or twice a year because the pens have salary cap/roster problems (I know he has a no movement clause, let's say they didn't put it in the new one for some reason). cue a LOT of pining and separation-induced sadness. angst and stress. pretending not to be as cut up about it as they are. etc etc. maybe they have an emotional/dramatic reunion on ice, maybe one of them is injured and the other is horrified but can't do anything, maybe both... basically how sad can you make pining while still making a happy ending, or at least a hopeful ending

53. Everyone always says how good Geno is at not being bothered by Sid getting all the accolades. How chill he is. How content to be out of the spotlight. How secure. That's... really not how he feels, and there's a point where it gets to be too much.

54. They do the coming out thing so they can be together properly, after keeping it secret from pretty much everyone for years, and the irony is that *this* is the thing that finally fucks up their relationship.

55. Geno never returns from his summer in Russia. Everyone becomes frantic looking for him but he’s not found. It remains a mystery and life goes on. Time passes, Sid still plays and the team still wins games but even after the grief has subsided, there is an ache deep in his chest that won’t go away. Sid *misses* Geno, doesn’t think he’ll stop missing him, doesn’t really understand why he hurts this bad. One day, Geno returns [insert random hockey magic here], Sid is an emotional mess dealing with it.

56. Hotels as liminal spaces. Sid's been hooking up with Geno in hotels in various cities where they play. But it doesn't feel real, so it's not real...right?

57. Reunion fic after a bad breakup (that was due to legit conflict that was both people's faults).

58. Dubcon ritual sex for the good of the team. Maybe Sid and Geno weren't together before this?

59. Professional hockey is indentured servitude, basically slavery. Sexual relationships between teammates aren't allowed, but that doesn't always stop them from happening. At first Sid and Geno are just finding relief in each other from all the pressure, but it turns into more.

60. Unrequited love, written from the POV of the one not pining.

61. AU-canon divergence: Sid put love and dating on hold to focus on hockey. He meets a cute guy while out to team dinner. They get dessert. Geno gets a little jealous.

62. Geno had asked Sid to wait for him to be ready. Not while he was so new to the team, he said. Not while the team was so unstable. Not while they were on the brink of a Cup win. And then he met Anna, and things happened. Geno moved to Russia when he retired, and he and Sid only saw each other at the draft, the World Cup, and now, the Olympics.

63. During the lockout, Sid followed Geno to the KHL. He hadn't thought having to hide their relationship would be so hard.

64. Ovie invites Sid to his wedding. Sid goes stag. Geno pines from afar.

65. canon divergence: the concussion specialists told Sid he'd need at least a year to recover. He goes home to Cole Harbour. The team struggles without him.

66. As much as I love homophobia free!NHL or a NHL with minimal homophobia, the reality is probably a lot less sunny. So, both Sid and Geno aren't out (except maybe to close friends), they're both very careful, and they know to never, ever get caught. Except, after the SCF, they're high on their win and get drunk and kiss each other, and somehow there are photos and somehow the photos are leaked. A shitstorm ensues.

67. one of them is battling an addiction to painkillers as a side effect of so many chronic injuries, and it's affecting both hockey and relationship.

68. Sidney and Geno are happily married and looking to start a family. They decide to foster a little boy (or girl, whichever) they meet at the little penguins hockey program (he's like seven or so) after finding out that his foster family is physically and emotionally abusing him. They do their best to try and help him, but things get overwhelming when trying to balance their careers and raising a child who has faced so much psychological trauma already. Then things get worse when the child's father is released from jail and fights Sid and Geno for custody of his kid. ((preferably nothing super explicit trauma wise, but i would like for there to be heavy emotional moments because the kid has been through so much and is a little intimidated by two very big and very strong pro hockey players. and sidney and geno love kids and don't want to fail this sweet child that is under their care. and i would like for the ending to be happy if the author is ok with it.))

69. sid and geno are in a friends with benefit situation where geno thinks theyre dating but sid just thinks theyre friends with benefits

70. Sidney gets another concussion, but it knocks him out cold on the ice, and he wakes up blind and with amnesia. Geno is shattered because hasn't Sidney been through enough? Geno offers to take care of him, but their relationship is so rocky now, and he was ready to propose to Sid when he got his concussion. Preferably a happy ending, but whatever floats the author's boat is fine with me.

71. Around the time Sid and Geno retire, Geno divorces his wife. He and Sid finally get together after all these years, but haven't really told anyone yet - in particular, not Geno's near-grow kids, because the relationship is new and Geno doesn't know how they'll take it. And then Geno gets pregnant.

72. Sid really IS a baby-snatcher/kidnapper, and Geno finds out. Ideas may include how Sid came to be like this, how he did it, how often (was it just once, multiple times), did he get caught by people other than Geno, what were the consequences (is Geno okay/not okay with this, does Sid do something to protect "his" child, does law enforcement get involved, etc.). Also for consideration: what about the child's/children's perspective(s)?

73. Sid and Geno have been fuckbuddies for over a year, except Geno thinks that they are in a relationship. Geno has spent the last month planning the perfect proposal only to find out on the big day that Sid is dating someone and wants to end their arrangement. Maybe Sid realizes his mistake and fixes it or maybe it's just too late for Sid and Geno.

74. "Hey, G, this is Chris", Sid says, and the man whose back Sid's palm is resting on reaches out for a handshake. He's almost Geno's height, with sandy hair, blue eyes and a warm smile. Geno's stomach does something it's never done before. He doesn't want to shake this guy's hand; he wants to tackle him to the ground and punch his lights out. Or: Geno, has a Revelation about his feelings for his captain. (G's relationship status can be anywhere from single to married with children depending on the level of angst/conflict/potential resolution)

75. Sid loves wearing makeup and girl's clothing/dresses. However he's scared of telling Geno, afraid that he might call him a freak or break up with him. When he does eventually tell him, Geno tries to be supportive but feels a little off about it. However during one particular game during the Flyers, Giroux or Simmonds says something incredibly offensive about Sid and it makes him feel extreme insecure about himself. After the game he's completely shut down and won't talk to anybody and actually starts throwing away his feminine clothing and makeup. Would Geno be able to push away his own feelings about it and tell his boyfriend he's beautiful no matter what, or would he just let Sid to whatever he wants and not let himself be who he is?

76. Sid and Geno have sex once when they're both really young and Sid isn't being dramatic when he says it's the best sex of his life. He figures the feeling was mutual and that at the very least him and Geno could continue to hook up. But afterwards Geno avoids him Anne is super distant and when Sid finally tries to talk to him Geno says "was bad sex don't want to think about it. Nothing else to say" and Sid is kind of devastated because that means HE Was so terrible in bed that Geno feels awkward about it. Cut to years later when it drunkenly happens again and Sid has been practicing for years to make sure he's perfect for Geno. Geno brushes it off again and Sid is like, no no no I know I'm good in bed why do you keep lying. And then Geno confesses that he wasn't ready to be in a mlm relationship when they first had sex and he's still unsure but he loves Sid and doesn't know what to do. Cut to feelings and getting together

77. One of them - let's face it probably Geno - does the grand public romantic gesture thing to woo Sid and, because RL appropriate behaviour is different from the stalker-level shit that gets romanticised by pop-culture, Sid is actually kind of unnerved and pressured and maybe even a little humiliated by how public it was and pretty unhappy about it. Basically they are in different genres, e.g. Geno is in a hollywood romcom and Sid is in an indie drama or psychological thriller :p ;).

78. Sid and Geno make a sex tape that ends up getting leaked. It doesn't show their faces and people don't really know it's them but the shock is enough to send Sid into a spiral of fear that people know that he's gay and that gen bottoms and basiclly internalized homophobia. G tries to comfort him but sid lashes out and they break up. Yadda yadda yadda hurt comfort no more sex tapes

79. Sid has to retire from hockey because of an injury and geno comforts him when he's crying about it. Super angsty and fluffy

80. Sid and Geno have a friends with benefits situation, but Sid, who was in love with Geno for a long time before they started hooking up, thinks they're getting serious. He doesn't know it but Geno is seeing Anna at this time, so when Geno mentions the 'person he's dating' to the team he's talking about her but Sid thinks he means him. He overhears Geno talking to someone like "do you think I should propose?" and gets very excited — until Geno introduces Anna to the team as his fiancee. He thinks he's been dumped but then Geno still approaches him for sex and Sid doesn't know how to say no. So Sid has an internal crisis because he's helping Geno cheat (if you want it can be revealed that Geno and Anna had an open relationship and Geno's just very bad at communicating that to Sid). But a part of him also wants Anna to find out, because then maybe she would break it off with Geno…

81. One of them was previously in an abusive relationship with another man, which the other doesn't know about because they were closeted at that time. They get triggered by something seemingly innocuous the other does, leading to explanations & hurt/comfort.

82. Anything following Sid's POV as Geno gets married and has kids.

83. Pining where they don't say anything because they both think the other is straight, and then a different guy on the team comes out (just to the room or publicly — your choice) and one of them winds up having sex with him, which the team finds out about. (Thin hotel walls?) So the other now knows he's not straight, but thinks he's in a relationship with the third person.

84. You don't stop loving something just because it's hard, Sid said. Well - what happens when it doesn't love you back?

85. One of the reason's Geno has been able to - sooner or later - shrug off those international losses and refocus, while playing on the same team as the avatar of Canada's success over Russia, has been his unshakeable belief always in next time, next time. With NHL players now firmly closed out of the Olympics, and Geno on the other side of 30, he's looking at that "next time" quite possibly being "never", and it's a hell of a hard hit.

86. Geno didn't actually want to leave Metallurg for the NHL; the bribe is Sid, in some kind of arranged-marriage/bond/etc situation. Perhaps Geno doesn't - ever? - know Sid's only in it out of obligation/responsibility.

87. Geno gets mugged, and it rocks his identity/self-image.

88. It turns out that while Sid's a good friend and a great captain, he's a terrible boyfriend. Geno worked so hard to get them here, and now he doesn't know what to do.

89. Their problems in the bedroom aren't staying there.

90. Pictures of Geno kissing a man in a gay bar are leaked somehow. It goes badly with both Russia and the Pens.

91. You know how there are the fics where one person has this kink they're all ashamed of, and then the other person helps them feel okay about it? I love those, a lot, but what if the reveal just didn't go well at ALL? Like, daddy-kink slips out and the reaction is flat-out shock, or they like a little feminisation or lacy knickers and their partner is just uncomfortable and embarrassed about it?

92. Insomnia as a concussion side-effect; they're hardly sharing a bed any more because of the restlessness.

93. One of them is having a hard time getting/keeping it up, or has a much-diminished sex drive (could even be set a few years in the future so it's an aging thing) and they have to figure out how important regular good sex is to the relationship. Maybe one of them decides it's not gonna work anymore.

94. Sid becomes paralyzed from the waist down in a bat hit gone wrong (the hit can be from the Flyers, Capitals, or whoever you want) and it shatters Sid completely, thinking he's never going to play hockey ever again. He starts to become severly depressed and starts lashing out at everybody, especially Geno, who's trying his hardest to be there for Sid. Both of them start to slowly become distant and they separate for a while, but Sid's depression gets worse and Geno is incredibly worried that Sid might do something to himself so he comes back. Cue to support from the Pens/NHL, angst and fluff, Sid and Geno getting back together and (hopefully?) Sid being able to start playing hockey again.

95. Sid and Geno are drafted by different teams (one is still a Penguin though, obviously). They first meet at World Juniors and realize they are "hockey perfect" late one night when they can't sleep and find each other practicing on the ice. Sid jokes that maybe they'll be together in the NHL but the draft doesn't work out. Geno comes over the same time as real life, and they meet again at the ASG in 2007 (get together then too). But it's Actually Serious that they're together. It's totally forbidden and both teammates/orgs/their families would be outraged. It's basically jeopardizing their careers bc they compete against each other, and it's Not Cool. Basically, Sid feels a ton of pressure to be the best, and Geno brings out his best on and off ice, but they can't be together. Obviously they sneak around when their teams meet and it's pretty reckless, but they are overwhelmed by each other. I just want forbidden love and Sid feeling pretty isolated/under a lot of pressure. Also, the Olympics is pretty much the best time of their lives, and there's a lot of sex bc of course.

96. they lose a child (can be their only child or not)

97. sid's pov with supercut by lorde (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yL0MtGXNFIk) as the jumping off point - maybe it's during their relationship, maybe it's after. up to you if they get a happy ending or not (and if that happy ending includes them together or not)

98. Person X is invited into Sid and Geno's recently-opened relationship, possibly with a view to them being more involved with one than the other. They're maybe younger, a little naive, but definitely super into the whole concept. Until they realise that actually, Geno and Sid are not the good stable relationship they thought, that they're kind of a hot mess, and that they're in danger of being turned into someone's emotional escape route.

99. Geno never left Russia, Sid comes over after the Pens fail to win a cup

100. Sid/Geno accidentally get outed

101. Sid is asexual (but not aromantic). He's in a relationship with Geno and Geno finds out after they've had copious amounts of sex. He's pissed Sid hadn't told him. Sid tries to explain that he doesn't particularly like sex but he doesn't mind doing it. Geno is not in any way mollified. Sid tells Geno he can sleep with other people if he wants to. Up to you where it goes from there.

102. After years of dancing around each other, they finally get together and it turns out they're sexually incompatible. One wants to compromise, the other doesn't see any viable option other than going their separate ways.

103. They get together. It doesn't work out. Now they have to work together every day and be on a team together and do promotions together and try not to leak feelings all over everyone in the immediate area. Spoiler: they do and it's ugly.

104. AU where something happens that leads to one of them getting traded

105. Post breakup fic- maybe they get back together? Maybe they just have sex and then realize it still can't work

AU Prompts

1. Sid and Taylor are orphans, they live with Mario after Sid was drafted. Cue Geno and his family trying to be a surrogate family to Sid & Taylor

2. One is a hockey star, the other is a reporter. The reporter spends a lot of time digging around, getting little details of the hockey star, writing a massive indepth story along the way and ends up falling a little bit in love. The hockey star resents the reporters invasion into his life and definitely does not feel the same.

3. AU where Sid and Ovechkin are royalty and betrothed in a purely political marriage, and while they are friend they’re not romantically interested in each other, and both alphas so no progeny will come from their union. As part of the arrangement, as their countries need an alliance, they’re gifted with an omega - Evgeni Malkin. Noble enough to be socialized as a gentlemen, but not high ranking enough to marry a prince himself, and as he’s Russian it’s determined that Sid should be the other father, to mix the bloodlines properly. However, at first Sid didn’t want a concubine, was fine in his loveless marriage with Ovechkin, at least until he saw Geno. So there is MAJOR MISCOMMUNICATION, where Geno thinks Sid is just doing this out of duty and not love and Sid thinks Geno doesn’t like him, even hates him.Geno goes into his first heat and is worried because the contraceptives he is secretly taking don’t work during heat and Sid can tell something is up so he doesn’t knot Geno and as a result Geno thinks he isn’t even worthy of Sid’s knot and MORE miscommunication and angst. And then there’s gossip about Geno’s lack of fertility, and oh no is it Sid? Which Geno can’t stand for, so he decides that he’ll get pregnant even though it’ll mean Sid never touches him again. And eventually he gets pregnant and then more stuff happens and then happy ending.(Feel free to change this and make it your own, obviously)

4. Age difference AU. Preferably with Geno being older and Sid being younger.

5. Apocalypse wow! When the world ends Sid is in Canada and Geno is in Russia but Sid isn't going to go out before he does the thing he's been psyching himself up to do for literally years, so he packs a bag and decides he's going to walk to Geno if he has to. I don't know what kind of apocalypse it is, maybe it's a super virus or a zombie kind. Either way, it's terrifying and sad and we follow Sid as he realizes not only might he never make it, but he might die alone and/or horribly, but also most of his friends are already dead, and he has way too much time to reflect on his life and what he did and didn't get to do. Bonus if it's open-ended, him trudging through snow, at the end of the road in Moscow, half-dead on his feet, gets to Geno's apartment, lifts a hand to knock, but we don't get to see the door open. We never see him die, either, but we can't know WE JUST CAN'T KNOW. (The emotional resolution is that he's come to terms with himself, just to be ultra lit-class about it)

6. Noir sidgeno au where sid is a hard boiled detective and geno is the femme fatale

7. Cold war spies.

8. A becomes a vampire and B has to console them because all A ever wanted was to have their own kids, but now that has all be ripped away from them, so B stays with them and holds them in their arms as A cries

9. period/fantasy au - sidney is royalty, and geno is not (or vice versa!)... after years of slowly falling in love with the castle's stablehand (aka geno), sidney's parents force him into a political/arranged marriage. sidney and geno still see each other, but when they are caught, because of laws or anything else hand-wavy, geno is meant to be executed.

10. One of them is haunted by the ghost of the other. Ending options: the ghost passes on after they resolve whatever it is they stayed around for, or they other figures out how to bring him back (cup magic could be useful here!)

11. Romeo and Juliet au - I guess it could be a flyers au, but I'd love to see a historical setting.

12. a bowerbird au where Sid collects all his trophies to seduce people with them. he doesn't actually care about winning just seduction. winning just happens to be the easiest way to seduce people, so he works it. Sid doesn't have time for losers, only winners, but his obsession with winners comes back to bite him. he's so focused on winning/seduction, that he doesn't realize it's destroying his relationships with those around him.

13. Sid and Geno are both omegas. They're only playing in the NHL because they're as good as they are. Falling in love with each other is a complication they don't need and also against all social mores.

14. Sid is an alpha and Geno is an omega. They both want each other, but Geno is already under intense scrutiny as the only omega (or one of the only omegas, if you'd prefer) in the NHL, and he doesn't want to get involved with an alpha. Angst ensues.

15. A wishbaby AU where wishbabies come from the Faerie realm, and you can only keep them for seven years. After the seven years are up, the child goes back to Faerie. But this is Sid and Geno, so they go into Faerie to find their child. They're successful, but it's the Faerie realm, and a price has to be paid. One of them has to stay behind for seven years to pay the debt. Twist: time moves differently in Faerie, and when the seven years are up, he comes home to find out that in the human world, seven times seven years have passed. Extra twist: once you've spent significant time in Faerie, you don't age the same way you normally would.

16. Either Sid or Geno wakes up as a girl one morning. This is a very unpleasant experience.

17. Sid and Geno have sex, and Geno gets pregnant. Geno is in love with Sid; Sid likes Geno but isn't in love with him. Geno wants to get rid of the baby (or adopt it out), but Sid wants to keep it, because he's always wanted kids, and even if he isn't in love with Geno, he's still going to be a father. (Sid falls for Geno too, eventually.)

18. Star Wars AU where Sid is a Senator and Geno is a Jedi around the fall of the Republic.

19. The one where their kid's swapped for a changeling

20. Time-travel trope, feel free to reverse the parties: a younger version of e.g. Geno shows up, and there is infidelity with older Sid. Older Geno does not take it well. Which maybe finally explains to Sid why, sometimes, Geno has seemed to get angry at Sid for no apparent reason, because he absolutely remembers this happening, and resents himself for not thinking it was a problem (because they're together in the future, right? so young, so stupid) and Sid for cheating on him, and himself for staying when he knows this is going to happen. Does he hope it won't? Does he just love Sid too much to not take every moment he can? Maybe they fix it with threesomes. Maybe they do not fix it.

21. One of them's infertile, and nothing available in the fertility industry does a damn thing to fix it.

22. Look, Cup magic isn't all it's cracked up to be, okay. Things can get... unpredictable. Unpleasant. Sid and Geno get off scott free the first two Cups, but it turns out all that wild magic was just biding its time until they won their third.

23. Geno grew up being bullied for being a werebear, and it's made him a defensive asshole about that part of his identity - very Do not Handle, Do not Touch. It takes him a long time to let Sid in.

24. girlSid didn't really have body issues (it was just a body, what mattered was what it could do) until Geno started dating Anna

25. Accidental pregnancy; whoever is pregnant eventually gets an abortion.

26. lady with the pet dog au! geno and sidney are both married and meet while away on vacation without their spouses. what begins is a passionate affair that starts as sex and infatuation but ends with a deeply rooted love. they both return to their homes only to find that they both live in the same city and must brave facing each other in their social circles without exposing their affair. bonus points if it's a period piece and if Geno feels the same guilt Dmitri felt at the end of the story.

27. GOT-esque AU. Geno is a bear-lord from the Kontinental kingdom of Drachma & Sid is a powerful mage from the North eastern part of Drachma, as well as Geno's most trusted advisor since they were teenagers. Geno became infertile (male speaking) after a witch cursed him for trying to bring both a dead child back to life using blood magic. He was severly devastated and has nightmares about deformed, monster-like children in place of the innocent ones he'll never have. He also takes his frustrations out on Sid, cruelly saying slurs about mages/witches whenever he tries to talk to him. Sid is hurt by these comments, but takes them in stride, knowing Geno is just upset. Years later, when they are in a relationship, they try for children and no infertility spells work, until Sid reveals that he himself was working on for years and they can finally have children to be the heir to Geno's kingdom. (Please let Sid be the pregnant one!)

28. Royalty AU. Sid is taking Geno to visit Sid's family and gifts him with jewels and other trinkets for him to wear. To Sid, these jewels represent not just their class system but are a sign showing extreme love and gratitude to consorts. However, to Geno, where he comes from, this is a sign of being something like that of a prostitute. So the more jewelry Sid decorates Geno with, the more Geno believes that Sid is just using him to be a bedwarmer. Geno becomes colder and more distant towards Sid, dressing himself up and acts like he IS a prostitute to Sid and his family's confusion. Sid snaps and finally confronts Geno about his feelings. SO MUCH MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND MISCOMMUNICATION!!!

29. Sid is so wrapped up in the hockey life that he never has time for dating, and when he does, it usually never works out well. So Flower, Tanger and Duper hire an escort who goes by the name of Zhenya as a "surprise" for Sid. Zhenya, whose real name is Evgeni "Geno" Malkin, escaped from Russia in search of a better life in America, but things didn't go through all that well. When he arrives at Sid's doorstep, Sid is of course angry but slowly gets over it once he sees how cute Zhenya is. A single one-night stand turns into more than what Sid bargains for. Zhenya is falling in love with Sid and sees him as more than a client, but Sid doesn't want to get attached for fear of getting hurt and distracted from hockey. Cue tons of angst, miscommunications, and (hopefully?) a happy ending.

30. College AU where they meet their sophomore year. Geno has a somewhat serious girlfriend but doesn't tell Sidney. Sidney finds out that he's "the other women" and confronts Geno about his cheating by breaking up with him. Sid ends up giving Geno the cold shoulder for months until finally Geno corners him after class and confesses to Sid that he had tried to breakup with the gf before but she wouldn't let him, he met Sid and instantly in love so he didn't even think of the girl he no longer like, he also broke up with the gf after Sid left him and has been trying to get back with Sid ever since

31. Both alphas. They have to find alternative partners during their rut/heat, because when they try with each other, violence overtakes sex - the first time it was pretty bad; the second time they tried to maul each other (they'd taken precautions e.g. back-ups who could separate them); they're not risking a third time. Coming back to your partner after marathon sex with someone else, knowing you can't ever have that with them.

32. Zombie apocalypse. Sid's been bitten, and he hides it just long enough to make sure Geno gets to safety.

33. Always a girl AU where they're playing in the NWHL or the CWHL, and they're on different teams.

34. Geno is cursed by a witch so he can get pregnant, but doesn't know it until he and Sid have sex. He always wanted kids, but not like this.

35. royalty/arranged marriage. modern or historical.

36. Sid is pregnant with Geno's baby, but manegment doesn't take it well

37. Teen pregnancy au

38. They get telepathically bonded for hockey. And end up hating each other.

39. their soulbond has broken - writer's choice as to why (suggestions: too many injuries, they have a fight and one of them has it broken intentionally, they spend too long too far apart)

40. Geno is an omega and the usual omega angst that goes with that ~

41. One of them from our universe falls into an a/b/o universe and doesn't get back, or vice versa. Maybe omega!Geno falls into our world, but is still an omega (which means he has to try to hide his heats with no medical support), or maybe he falls into our world but isn't an omega anymore. Body horror, xeno-type scenarios, mpreg... :D

42. The hockey gods require a lot of sacrifice to get to the level Sid and Geno are at; now they're asking either Sid or Geno for more than he's willing to give.

43. Soulmates in a doomed reincarnation cycle

44. Time loops

45. Geno is stuck in a time loop from the beginning of his career to the end. Think Magical Girl Madoka, Homura specifically.

46. One of them is deeply closeted falls into an AU where they got together sometime back. Twist: he never gets back to his own time, and meanwhile the other party figures it out and is mourning his "real" boyfriend.

47. Cup Magic happens after Sids day with the cup after winning back to back. Sid gets sent to Mario's house but in 1992. People are shocked at how this guy is built and how fast he is on the ice and how he won't shut up about hockey when Mario brings him to practice one day. Neither of them know why Sid was sent to the past and can't figure out what the lesson is but snippets of scenes between Sid and Geno show so much UST and hesitation. Sid seems to retreat even more because locker room talk is even more brutal (why are you so good? Steroids?? )and homophobic than it is now. Sid starts to become miserable and lonely and does confess to Mario about his feelings for Geno and Mario is shocked but kinda figures the way Sid talked about Geno and asks how gay people are treated in Sids time. After a while he realizes he could have Geno in his life if only he was a little braver. And he's so heartbroken he might have missed his chance and he does come back to his time. He talks to geno about what happened to him and Geno is so upset Sid has to go through all that alone. they do eventually live happily (please) ever after.

#hockey rpf #angst fest #sidgeno

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richmckeating-blog · 5 years

Text

Mckeating Ultra

My latest adventure started a few months ago when I texted my client who had just completed the London Marathon.

How did you get on? I asked hoping to simultaneously offer my congratulations whilst secretly re affirming my ego with the knowledge that my Marathon time was better.

Then they hit me with it, 3:41. They had beaten my time by ten minutes!

I have only ever completed one marathon, the New York, back in 2003 just a few months after getting back from Iraq I needed something to sink my teeth into and to help me get some normality back into my life.

To be honest, I know I didn’t really get an awesome time, like many people I was just happy to have completed the event, I think I even walked parts of it, but now I’m at a stage in my life where I’m wondering what my potential might be if I really applied myself and as I’m 38 years old, I feel as though it’s now or never.

So, I decided to come out of retirement and try to beat my last time, not for any ego driven vanity purpose of beating my client you understand, but solely to impart some life wisdom and help everybody realise that I’m the best 😊

I went to work searching the internet for Marathon events, the London Marathon can be hard to get into, and doing an event in my hometown of Hull didn’t excite me much, I searched and searched and that’s when I came across it.

The more I read, the more excited I got, and scared at the same time just at the thought of it, whether to enter or not went back and forth through my mind like some kind of decision ping pong game for a couple of days, before I decided to just go ahead and enter.

And that’s why I’m now training for my first ever ultra.

I’m still a newbie to this world so let me share what I’ve learned so far, an ultra-run is anything longer than a traditional marathon, there are Ultra’s across the UK and around the World of varying distance from 40 miles to upwards of a hundred which take place in varied environments under a wide range of conditions.

The Ultra I’ve entered is the Hardwolds 80, an eighty mile route across the Yorkshire Wolds way starting at the Humber Bridge and ending in Filey.

The event takes place on the morning of Saturday the 23rd November and I’ll have 24 hours to complete the whole route from start to finish.

I’ll be running this event to help raise funds for two charities very close and dear to my heart.

Royal Marines Charity

The corps family is in constant need of looking after, since I left in 2004 many of my good friends have either been killed in action or have chosen to end their lives, I’ll go further into this at some point in a future article but for now I just want to acknowledge thanks that there is an organization who can help support my band of brothers with mental health services and provide help to the families of those who have served.

They provide rehab to those injured, financial assistance to those in need and are constantly there for any serving or non-serving member of the corps.

Once a Marine, always a Marine.

Humber Rescue

I have been a volunteer at Humber Rescue for just over a year now, we are an independent lifeboat station staffed entirely by volunteers and we respond to call outs 24 hours a day, every day of the year.

The crew at Humber Rescue give up work, family and leisure time to be available to those in trouble at sea, in the short time I have been there I’ve seen crew members called out at three in the morning to literally save the life of someone in the water, only to go home and get ready for work in a few hours.

Not all heroes wear capes, it’s a pleasure to work alongside these guys.

Please Donate!

This is my donation page

I’ve set the fundraising bar quite low to start with, soon as I smash this target (hopefully soon) I’ll raise it again and shall endeavour to raise as much money as I can for these two worthwhile causes.

In exchange for donations I’m going to regularly blog with details of my journey as an amateur runner preparing for my first ultra-run, I’ll go into research and methods on mindset, nutrition and training and will provide valuable content for anybody interested in running and wanting to up their game or just anybody who wants to gaze into the working process of the kind of masochism one has to resort to in order to get to this level.

I’ll start briefly here in this article, and in future content I’ll cover these in more depth as I work through these tasks and begin to learn more and understand further.

Ultra-Mindset

Aside from running itself, I have two competing mental models regarding the Hardwolds 80 which I’m having to work with and overcome.

The first is just fear.

Fear that I’ll not be fit enough, that I’ll fail to complete it and look like an idiot after having spent months training for it and blogging about it and trying to raise money for good causes.

Fear of injury, fear of the pain, fear of getting lost on the route (that would be so me) and fear of not having enough mentally to cope with this and just quitting.

The second mindset I’m having to work against is unrealistic ambition, the guy who won last year ran the event in twelve hours and twenty-three minutes, the next competitor came in at thirteen hours and seven minutes.

I’ve worked out the mile splits, read the blogs of some people who took part (seem like really nice guys) and although this is the first ever ultra I’m going to run part of my brain is imagining me winning the thing and getting first place in a course breaking time.

Yeh, that’s really going on inside my mind.

So staying grounded for a moment, between my fears of just being able to complete the thing and my ambition to smash it and achieve fame, I believe a more realistic ambition should be to work with the goal of just completing this thing, most ultra-runners, especially beginners, go out the blocks too quick, tire out and finish way out of their expected times because they misjudged pacing.

Then of course there is the mindset needed whilst running, to mentally go out and do a ½ marathon on your lunchbreak because you know you need to clock up some millage volume for that week.

Every run I come face to face with my own insecurities.

Hello darkness my old friend.

Why not slow down Rich? Why not just run a few miles less today, your so busy and you have so much to do, you can always run further tomorrow to make up for it.

The conversations start in the mind, with perfectly justifiable sweet honey excuses being drip fed into my ear lobes.

Each run I must work against this, to acknowledge the thoughts, but to ignore them and carry on pushing it anyway.

When you run away from pain you’ll just get more pain, when you run towards it things seem to get easier.

In future articles I’ll expand on this in a lot more detail, because mindset is probably the biggest limiting factor to success and without mastering this aspect all the hard work around training and diet is wasted.

Ultra-Training

At the time of writing I have twenty weeks until the event, I’m now ready to start with some serious training, for the last six weeks I’ve been working on the basics.

This is just getting miles in, I’ve tried to clock in at least thirty miles a week, building up to 40 miles per week, and now I’m on 50 miles a week, some short five to six-mile runs, some fifteen milers when I’ve had time.

Each run will usually have one of the following purposes

Hills

The Wolds way has a fair number of hills along the route, many ultra- runners choose to walk the hills and run everything else, I’m not sure where I sit with this yet but for now I want to build up some tolerance to the hills and get my legs as best prepared as I can. Fortunately for me there are some big hills near my little private training studio in North Ferriby, so I’ve had plenty of opportunity to run up steep hills in the middle of a hot July afternoon like a madman.

Endurance

On many of my runs I’ve simply tried to get used to running for time, sometimes this has involved running twice a day, and on the few occasions where I’ve had a few hours spare this has just meant plodding along to get miles under the feet without pushing myself too hard.

Speed

I have two speed type sessions I’ve been working on, the first is pure hell, it’s literally the worst training I’ve done since leaving he marines, to the point where I feel nauseous and start regretting my life choices.

Hill Sprints, 5 x 3 minutes

I find a big hill, and I sprint hard up at it for three whole minutes, about 30 seconds in the pain really kicks in, I then have to keep pushing and tolerating that pain for the remaining duration, it’s hellish and at the same time kind of Euphoric, every part of my body hurts, my need for oxygen begins to vastly outweigh my ability to breath and I find my face contorted in agony trying to suck in big gulps of air.

Then I walk down the hill to recover and repeat the process again until I’ve done five total sprints. It’s hell, I hate it, but damn it makes me faster on my other runs.

Short sprints 15 x 15 seconds

This is a much more pleasant session, I find a nice flat field, warm up with lots of drills around running, plenty of hopping, moving the body around in various ways to help the individual joints react best to ground contact, and then when I’m ready it’s a 15 second sprint full out, followed by 45 seconds rest, and repeat. It’s short and sharp but effective and being able to access those gears helps me enormously when I’m trying to find a pace I can reasonably keep up for miles upon miles.

This is the kind of pace I have going on right now, current goal is to get a half marathon in under 90 minutes, hoping to achieve this in the next few weeks.

Ultra-Nutrition

Starting weight was 87kg, which means I’m currently carrying a few kgs too many to get my best times out, so diet’s had to play a significant part in my training not just to get the most out of my running but to help lose a few lbs at the same time.

Initially I just tried some simple calorie lowering techniques, big salad before dinner, pint glass of water with meals to help fill the stomach etc.

Guess what? Didn’t work ☹

Turns out I just have a massive greedy appetite, I just like food, lots of it, and I’ll keep eating past the point of being full.

For some people eating with moderate calorie tricks like the ones above can work wonders, but it just doesn’t do it for me.

After weeks of expending thousands more calories per week through the sheer number of additional steps I’ve been carrying out I still weighed the same.

So I’ve had to count calories, which sucks, but on the plus side I have lost 3.5kg (1/2 stone) and I still get to enjoy chocolate and a few beers without having to feel too restrictive. For me it’s important to lose weight at a steady pace, if I cut calories too low my performance will suffer on my runs and I won’t have enough resources to recover properly.

My nutrition for running is another matter entirely, now the basic training phase is over I’ve started turning my attention to carbohydrate periodization, where I alter the amount of carbs I consume based on the amount of training I’m doing that day. There is some cool science around this subject which I’ll go into in future articles.

My weight goal is to get under 80kg at least, that’s still heavy for an ulta-runner, but it’ll be a significant improvement on the extra weight I’ve been lugging about during these runs!

Summary

So this is the start of my journey, I’ll hope you’ll join me for future articles where I explore different aspects of running and ultra- running, and try to give more tips that I hope readers may find useful.

This started out as an intention to try and beat my previous Marathon time ( and my clients), however it’s took on a new form now, It’s turned into a challenge to bite my arse from a training slumber and get me working hard at achieving my best at something I’ve never done before.

once again, this is my donation please, if you find this article useful, please spare what you can, it is as always much appreciated.

This is my donation page

In future articles I’ll be delving much deeper into running training, nutrition for performance and the importance of getting the right mindset, including how I came to know the Hill Wizzard and Old man wolds (they’re both horrible)

BTW- The client who beat my time?

None other than Neil Hudgell, chairman of Super League Rugby Club Hull Kingston Rovers. He works hard in the gym with me three times a week and outside of the gym runs regularly and keeps challenging himself to do better. Years ago Neil got me back into running, since then we’ve ran a few half marathons together and to be fair, this guy can really put in some pace!

If you’d like to receive regular updates to my articles and get subscriber only content including videos, recipes, extras etc then sign up on the link below.

http://eepurl.com/ds_ygj

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no-white-knights-blog · 7 years

Text

Halo - An Etrian Odyssey Novel (Chapter 25/50)

The unnerving feeling of being watched remained heavy in the pit of Sage's stomach as Halo traversed deeper into the trees, staying on what appeared to be a deer path of sorts so they had some semblance of direction. They walked for quite a while, dispatching a few low-level attacks as they went, and the entire time Sage stayed at Dyria's back, his right hand held firmly in the protector's left.

From behind them, the others from Halo conversed about their current spontaneous game plan of searching for a beast companion that might not even exist. Thinking logically and realistically, Sage was sure this was an impossible quest, the chance of Na'axri being out there when the Guardians had found the bloody aftermath of Historia on the first floor was slim, yet he couldn't find it in himself to say that out loud.

If he opened his mouth and gave up, then that was it, it would feel like he was giving up on his brother. He still couldn't remember a lot about the past, he couldn't remember his childhood, or how he became an explorer, how Historia was formed or where the other members of the guild came from, he couldn't even remember what separated them, and what killed his brother, but he remembered their faces, their names, he remembered how much he loved them all, and he remembered how close Historia had been.

His first family, his older brother by blood, they were gone and now that Sage remembered them, he couldn't just let what happened go. Eliath had asked him to get help, but Sage didn't. He fucked up. His injury had knocked out his memories on the way to get the guards, and he was incapable of bringing his brother the backup he needed. Which lead to the annihilation of their guild.

Sage would never be able to forgive himself for what happened, the fact he failed, yet at the same time something seemed so off about what he remembered. Maybe it was because he still couldn't remember everything clearly, because of his head wound, but when he thought about that day, when he thought about the explorers who made up Historia, it didn't seem right that they would have been taken out by the monsters of the Labyrinth.

He could hear his brother's voice, filled with amusement, "We're not called Historia for nothing."

Their guild was named Historia, defined as inquiry, research, account, description, written account of past events or writing of history, story; to have a name like that, Sage was positive they had done something important, or at least important to Eliath.

Maybe they searched the Labyrinth's for stories, they sought knowledge about the past of Yggdrasil, or they collected information like they were saving up for a library. Or maybe... maybe the explorers who made up the guild were themselves historical. Sage couldn't recall how, he didn't think he was all that special, but then again, he could barely remember anything about being a survivalist besides the basic skills.

Granted he was remarkable with using a bow, but that wasn't anything to be written about in any history books. If the name of their guild was that important, it had to mean something. Eliath said so, and Sage somehow recalled that there was a reason, he just couldn't remember what.

On that note... why did they come to Lagaard in the first place? Did it have something to do with being Historia?

"Hey, Vien, you said that wolf sounded domestic, right?" Iliad asked suddenly, pulling Sage from his thoughts, "How could you tell?"

Sage looked over his shoulder, frowning at the way Vien was swaying on his feet, coughing into his hand as he stopped walking si he could answer Iliad, "It was in the pitch of the howl," he explained as Nirim reached out to steady him and Emery dug into his bag, "When feral wolves howl or bark there's this tone that makes it seem like they don't have any control, they do things strictly on instinct, so the howls and barks and stuff are all crazy and wild. The wolf that was howling earlier sounded precise, like it was calling to someone or something specifically, not just the rest of his pack."

"You also mentioned the wolf sounded wild though," Emery argued, handing Vien one of the medicine vials for the troubadour's lungs, "Drink that."

"It sounded a little wild," Vien agreed, pulling the top off the glass bottle, "It sounded like he was going crazy, but if Sage is right and we're looking for his brother's wolf, that would make sense. It's been two months since we found Sage, two months since his guild was... you know," Vien shrugged one shoulder, looking down, "That would mean Na'axri has been alone in the wild for two months. It wouldn't be surprising if he's developed some feral personality, reverting to his lowest form of animal instincts in order to survive."

"Drink," Emery reiterated, and Vien held the vial to his lips as Sage looked around the area they'd stopped in.

It appeared to be a clearing in the middle of the forest, surrounded by trees and bushes, growing so densely that it was hard to see very far through the trees. Right in the middle of those trees was pristine grass, but nothing else. No flowers, no bushes, just this empty space. Luckily, Safe could still make out the path splitting through it, but it made Sage feel a bit wary. He tensed up when he heard something short and sharp, melodic, a birdsong coming from the trees, but... it sounded a little strange.

"Are there normal birds in the Labyrinth?" he found himself asking, and Dyria looked over at him with a raised eyebrow.

"If there's a normal wolf, there's bound to be other creatures from outside. It wouldn't be very farfetched that some birds may have found their way in here."

"I suppose," Sage agreed, looking up at the trees and slowly panning his gaze over them, like he was expecting to see a robin or stellar jay sitting on the branches preening its feathers.

That same birdsong came again, the exact same notes, and Sage furrowed his brow when the wolf they'd been tracking howled as if in response. It was closer this time, somewhere in the trees just in front of them, and Dyria's hand tightened around Sage's, tugging him closer and reaching for his sword. The bird chirped again, followed by the wolf’s how, then everything became eerily silent.

Halo shuffled into a small group, looking around the area uneasily and trying to pick up any sound at all, either the howl of the wolf or the chirp of the bird, rustling leaves or snapping twigs, but they heard nothing until a few moments later when that same howl echoed, much, much closer, and the entirety of the guild spun in the direction of the noise, freezing when their gazes collectively fell on a large black wolf that had wandered into the clearing directly across from them.

At first it didn't seem like he'd noticed the group, his fur was jet black and his head lowered as he sniffed the ground, his left fore-paw lifted as he limped further into the clearing. He was definitely a large animal, and appeared to be wounded, searching for something, reaching a tree and nudging his nose against the base before baring its teeth and snarling, lifting its head in a snarl before limping in a circle.

"Is-," Iliad paused, "Is that your wolf?"

"I can't tell," Sage whispered back, slipping his hand away from Dyria's and stepping past him, though the protector reached out and grabbed his shoulder to keep him from getting too close to the possibly feral monster.

The wolf still didn't seem interested in them as it took its injured leg and scratched at the bark of the tree trunk, snarling, like it was trying to climb the tree. Maybe there was a squirrel up there, or something related to a squirrel but from the Labyrinth, like a treerat. Ah, Sage hoped not, those things were inconvenient.

"Na'axri?" Sage called out in a nervous whisper at first, reaching up to brush Dyria's hand aside before taking another step forward, stopping when the wolf's ears picked up and it froze, black nose wiggling as it tested the air.

Sage tried again, a little louder, "Na'axri?" he slowly lowered himself to his knees, watching as the creature's ears twitched in his direction before it slowly lowered down so his stomach was almost against the ground, head turning. Sage nearly cried in joy, but his blood froze when the wolf curled its lips to show sharp white teeth, turning towards where Halo was standing and easing towards them in a dangerous hunting stance.

"Fuck this," Sage heard Dyria hiss before the protector grabbed his arm and yanked him back, standing in front of the survivalist with his sword drawn and shield positioned as a barricade, though the wolf didn't react, continued to slowly slink towards them, "Stay back, Sage."

"Wait!" Sage pushed at Dyria's back, "It still might be him!"

"It's just some feral monster from the Labyrinth, Sage, look at it!"

Sage shook his head and turned his gaze back to the wolf, his eyes growing wide and a gasp catching in his throat when he caught sight of something around the beast’s neck, pushing past Dyria and dropping to his knees again, much to the protectors utter panic and frustration.

"Sage!"

"It is him!" Sage insisted before holding his hands out for the wolf, who had dropped down to its stomach completely, still growling lowly in warning as the survivalist hushed him, "Na'axri, it's me. Do you recognize me?"

The wolf stopped growling abruptly and stretched its head forward, sniffing the very tips of Sage's fingers before a low whine slipped from its throat, the bushy black tail waving as its deep amber eyes became softer and it shuffled forward, dropping its head into Sage's lap.

Dyria slowly lowered his sword and stepped closer to watch as Sage pulled at a leather collar that was around the beast's neck, "See?" the survivalist smiled, rubbing his thumb over the silver tag hanging from the collar, "I told you it was him."

"He's hurt," Emery noted, stepping past Dyria but stopping when the wolf snarled, relaxing when Sage hushed him and scratched behind his ears.

"It's okay, Emery is a nice guy, he's a medic."

Na'axri seemed to settle, but his ears picked up when that same chirping birdsong echoed. He scrambled to his feet and barked, turning in the direction he'd come from as the hair lifted on his haunches, snarling dangerously, looking so feral even Sage felt a little uneasy and panicked.

"Does he not like birds?" Iliad asked, and Sage shook his head.

"No, I... I don't remember. I mean I don't think so. Na'axri, it's okay," he reached out and grabbed the wolf's collar, dragging him closer, and the wolf willingly followed where he was lead, pressing his side against Sage and growling lowly.

"I think he's protecting you," Vien spoke up suddenly, and Dyria frowned.

"From what? Us?"

"No," Arcan stated, lifting a hand and pointing shakily across the clearing where something large was rustling and knocking against trees, "Probably from whatever that is."

"Get up," Dyria grabbed Sage's arm and hauled him to his feet, pushing him towards the others, "Let's go before it sees us."

"Whatever that thing is it's big," Iliad said, and Vien made a weird noise.

"Hold on, it didn't show up until that bird started chirping," he held his hands out, "Maybe it can be controlled with the power of music."

"Vien if you don't start running I'm going to sock you in the jaw," Iliad bit.

"Na'axri, come," Sage called, holding a hand down, and his brother's beast companion stopped growling and turned, trotting up to the survivalist and allowing him to grab onto his collar as Dyria pushed Sage to walk faster.

For a while the guild managed to stay the same distance away from whatever was following them, until they broke through the trees and found themselves back on the path they'd been on that morning, premature sighs of relief echoing until a sharp whistle filled the air, followed by a monstrous roar that had all eight of them freezing in place.

The monster towered above them, blue coloring most of it, and piercing yellow eyes that had Sage trembling, hugging his brother's bow against his chest as a noise of fear fell from his lips, the dinosaur-like beast breaking through the trees and gaping its mouth open with a scream that could match that of a mountain lion, amplified by about a thousand times, thick saliva dripping from its terrifying rows of razor sharp teeth.

"I don't mean to sound like a bitch," Vien stated, "but what the fuck is that thing?!"

"A Raptor, I read about them," Iliad answered, holding his bow up and grabbing an arrow from the quiver at his back, "We can't outrun it, we have to fight."

"It shouldn't be here," Sage whispered, his hands pressed against either side of his head, eyes wide in horror, "It shouldn't be here, this is the first floor. No, no the second, no... where are we? Why is it here? Raptors occupy the fourth floor, this isn't possible, why is it here?"

"Oh fuck," Iliad hissed and Emery pushed past Nirim to reach the panicking survivalist, taking Sage's shoulder and squeezing it.

"Easy, take deep breaths, you're okay," Sage shook his head, gasping at this point, and Emery scowled at the monster that was essentially herding them into a group, "Sage can't fight, he's gone right now."

Dyria tuned his head to look back at Sage in concern, inching closer to him and taking his chin, "Sage, look at me," the foggy magenta eyes shifted to meet Dyria's green, "You're okay. You're safe. This won't be like what happened to Historia. I'll protect you."

The clouds of fear seemed to lift, and Sage slowly pulled his hands from his head, staring at Dyria in fear, "This is the monster that..."

"I understand," Dyria whispered, moving his hand so it was cupped against the back of Sage's neck, "but it doesn't need to be feared. You're strong, Sage. This is your chance to avenge your brother."

That seemed to wake him up a little more, his eyes narrowing in determination as he nodded firmly and grabbed his bow, looking up as the Raptor roared again, "We need to spread out," he said quickly before Dyria could get a word in edgewise, throwing an arm to the side and pointing, "It's trying to keep us close so it's easier to pick us off, scatter and find secure places to attack."

"Do it," Dyria agreed, hoisting his shield higher and pointing with his sword, "Emery, take Vien and stay back, stay away from the fight, and if the bastard comes at you, run and don't look back."

Emery clenched his jaw and nodded firmly, grabbing Vien around the wrist and dragging him towards the back, stopping suddenly and spinning on his heel, "Zed, stay out of the fight!"

The dark hunter craned his neck to give Emery a confused look, "I'm good at fighting," he assured, and Sage spoke before Emery could argue.

"It's weak to ice, so get in as many close-range attacks as you can manage, Nirim. Zedimir, try to trip it up," Nirim nodded firmly and Zed pulled out his whip as Sage looked over at Arcan and Iliad, "You two stay together, stay away from the main fight, aim for the eyes and the feet. I'll get to a tree and aim from above."

"Got it," Iliad nodded and elbowed Arcan to get him moving.

Sage watched as the four of them ran off to position around the raptor before turning and inevitably meeting Dyria's eye, "Any order for me?" the protector asked, and Sage nearly stopped breathing from the look in his green eyes.

"Just... stay away from its teeth, okay?"

"I can do that."

Sage nodded and ran past him, smiling when he noticed Na'axri was running at his side, despite his wounds. In the midst of battle, all previous injuries became nonexistent. Sage knew how to fight this thing, for some reason it was familiar, the scream-like roars, the blue shade of reptilian skin, the frothing mouth and the frustrated way it started to pace when it realized its meal had scattered and was fighting back.

Sage climbed the first tree he got to, settling on the highest branch he could reach and pulling out two arrows, biting onto one as he prepared the second, drawing back on the string and aiming at the Raptor. At the height he was standing at in the tree, he was eye-level with the FOE, and when it turned its head in Sage's direction, he loosed the arrow and destroyed its right eye.

"Nice shot!" he heard Arcan yell, and smirked around the shaft of his arrow.

Of course it was, he was trained for this after all. For years he worked alongside Eliath, both of them learning from books and from firsthand experience, because they never had a mentor. That's right, Sage realized, the only reason they became survivalists was because they were drawn to the skill. They had no memories of parents who were born with the affiliation of a survivalist, they were simply fascinated by it and wanted to immerse themselves in the lifestyle.

For years from the moment Sage could walk, he and his bother trained together, researched and cataloged, self-taught from the age of four. That was why they were in Historia, because they had these skills without training with a veteran survivalist. Sage remembered training, he remembered everything about being a survivalist, crouching in his tree and watching as Halo attacked the Raptor from the ground, letting those memories flood his mind, filling him with pride.

Eliath had been a protégée, skilled from birth, and he taught Sage everything he knew, the way to hold his bow and set two arrows against the string at one time, loosing both together and hitting a soft spot on the Raptor's neck.

"Can you see me?" Sage whispered out, "Are you proud of me El?"

Sage remembered Historia, he remembered they were all skilled in unorthodox ways, that's why they were called Historia. So why then... why did they fail? How were they bested by this creature? There was no way one Raptor had the ability to take out all of Historia. Something wasn't right. Not to mention they'd been on the first floor. Raptors shouldn't be anywhere near that low level, so how?

"Sage!"

The survivalist tensed up and lifted his head, he hadn't even realized he was lost in thought for a moment there, distracted by his memories and the realization that it would have been impossible for all six members of Historia to have been bested by one FOE, especially this one.

When Sage looked up he nearly screamed at the gaping jaws that were baring down at him, throwing himself to his feet and slamming his back against the trunk as the Raptor snapped its jaws closed, splintering the thick branch that Sage had been perched on. Saliva soaked shards of wood flew through the air, tearing into the shoulder of his shirt and scraping across his skin, pulling a gasp from him as he grabbed at his arm, looking at the blood on his fingers and cursing as the toxin quickly worked away at his arm, paralyzing it.

Eliath's bow fell from his limp fingers and Sage clung to his shoulder as he grit his teeth and looked back at the Raptor, glaring into its piercing eyes and feeling suddenly confused. These eyes... they weren't the ones Sage remembered. For certain it had been a Raptor that attacked them, but the ugly yellow eyes that were staring at him like he was a meal weren't the ones from his nightmares.

"Move, damn it!" Iliad screamed, and Sage threw himself out of the tree as the Raptor shot forward again, its powerful jaws breaking into the trunk where Sage had been standing.

He hit the ground hard on his paralyzed shoulder, luckily it kept him from feeling too much of the pain, and reached out to grab his brother's bow before crawling along the ground to get further away from the FOE. He found himself freezing up when a large shadow fell over him, splintered shards and chunks of wood raining around him.

At this point in time, most people would see their life flash before their eyes, but amnesia didn't make exceptions, even at death's door. Sage slowly looked over his shoulder to see the Raptor towering over him, and choked on his breath, trying to use his bow but failing, as his left arm was entirely useless.

He heard a short whistle then, a melody he swore he recognized, and the Raptor froze up, allowing Sage just enough time to look up and see the silhouette of a man standing on a high branch of the tree just a few yards in front of him. Sage couldn't see his face, it was getting dark so he couldn't make out anything. All he could see were the piercing yellow eyes.

It clicked together finally, and the man let out a long, high pitched whistle, like he was sending out a kill command that the Raptor acted on, roaring. Sage threw his good arm over his head in an attempt to protect himself, horrified screams echoed in his ears even louder than the monster's screams of victory.

Then the sound of clashing metal, so loud it hurt Sage's head. His eyes were pinched closed but the noise of metal scraping against something sharp was deafening, then came the sound of that same metal being crushed, a crunching sound that had the survivalist's stomach doing a flip. All sound seemed to die out, there was a ring in his ears as he peeled his eyes back open, holding his arm as he shifted around and looked over his shoulders.

This time he did stop breathing.

Dyria was standing over him, facing the Raptor, who had it's jaws closed around the protector's left arm and shoulder, down to his chest, locked in place, his armor pierced through as if it were a wet paper towel. Sage couldn't even see his shield, but it was likely in the monster's mouth. Even in that position, Dyria's sword had pierced the Raptor's eye, plunged deep into the FOE's skull, and his body gave a shudder as he shifted on his feet, pushing at the hilt of his sword and slowly, sadistically so, eased the sword deeper, until none of the blade could be seen.

The Raptor swayed on its feet and fell onto its side, taking Dyria with him. Finally, Sage made a noise, screaming, scrambling on his knees over to the protector, who's left arm and shoulder was still locked in the monster's jaws. He was on his knees and slumped over the Raptor's head, moving sluggishly as blood pooled in the dirt around his knees.

"Dyria!" Sage dropped to the protector's right side and reached out for his face with his right hand, "Look at me, please."

"Oh god, oh god," Vien was shaking, the second person to reach Dyria, and Sage looked up as Nirim climbed onto the Raptor's neck, taking his katana and slashing at the tendon in the monster's neck to loosen its jaw.

He got the mouth open with Arcan's help, and Emery was the one who carefully pulled Dyria from its jaws, laying him out on his back and grabbing his face. His skin was the color of ash and his green eyes were unfocused, but he wasn't complaining or saying anything, just lying there. In fact, he almost looked confused.

"Emery," Iliad's voice sounded wrong, and Sage looked up to see he was about as pale as his brother, eyes wide, "He..."

"We have to get back to Lagaard," Emery whispered, his head bowed and his hands shaking as he started to undo the buckles holding Dyria's armor against his chest, pulling the chest plate off and dropping it to the side as Nirim knelt down at the protector's head to help hold him up by his shoulders, letting Emery pull the rest of the armor from his back.

The damage done was obvious without the armor hiding it, several large, deep punctures in a row starting from his shoulder and leading down his chest to his hip, lacerations trailing along his left arm. The wounds were bleeding heavily, his shirt was stained deep crimson, which was now staining Emery's hands as well as he vainly tried to stop the bleeding.

"Dyria," Sage whispered and reached out to push back the protector's black hair, choking when his green eyes shifted to him, a smile pulling at his lips.

He still didn't say anything, but his eyes were easy to read. He had the same look in his eyes that Eliath had that day. Dyria didn't regret a damn thing.

"Activate an Ariadne Thread," Sage vaguely heard Nirim order, and lifted his head to look up into the tree where that man had been before.

He was gone now, but Sage couldn't help how scared he was. Whoever that man had been... he was the reason Historia had been attacked. Eliath, Lesai, Naylin, and Flandr... they were gone because of that man, and now Dyria...

Why?

#took me three tries to post this #fuck you wifi #dyria ded #goodbye dyria #why are all protectors like this jfc #you'd get along well with jhon tho #EO #etrian odyssey #fanfiction #original characters #guild halo #my babies #meet na'axri he's awesome

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