#so i’ve watched all of aot and I don’t even know where to begin | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iwriteallkindsofstuff · 2 years

Text

The Scribe

Was very mich inspired by Violet Evergarden… If you haben seen it, I highly recommend it, it’s a short, beautiful watch on Netflix✨

Aot x reader (not quite sure where exactly I’m going, lol)

Summary:

You are a scribe, writing letters for your clients. As the Wall falls to the titans and more and more people are becoming soldiers, you have been hired to work for the Scouts-segment for an unlimited amount of time.

I had fun with this one - and I hope you will too. Enjoy and have a good one :3

———————————————————————

The soldier who is lying on the floor is a young man with short, ashen hair. He looks no older than eighteen. I can feel the first clenching in my chest. I will have to try and keep my emotions in, I think as I set myself beside him and take out my notebook and pen. I have to catch every word. Like trying to catch raindrops.

„Hello Sir, I start, I’m (Y/n). I’m here to write your letters for you.“ The boy moves his head towards my voice, his eyes halfway shut and glazed over. „…right. I’m David…thanks for…helping me…“ His soft voice is tired and low, nothing but a hoarse mumbling. I see the bandages around his torso and wonder if his lungs have been damaged.

I take a breath - not now, (Y/n). Help him. There are others around, sitting a few feet away on benches or leaning against the walls. They all look awful. Sons and Daughters, old and young, wondering what they are doing fighting in this war. Perhaps they have someone to get back home to…? I try my best to ignore them all and focus on David.

„Please, don’t mention it. I’ll get started right away.“ I open a fresh page, readying myself. Name, relationship, intention… „Who do you want this letter to go to?“ I ignor how my hand is gripping a little too harshly. My body can sense that death is approaching, even if I try to deny it.

I am unable to get used to such young clients. I am not used to seeing people reaking of war and death, waiting for it to come for them next. Not when they are barely children. This is not right.

„To my girlfriend…Sam…“ he says, his eyes focusing on something far, far away. „Alright then. What would you like to tell Sam?“ Sam. What a beautiful name. David goes quiet for a while.

Just as I begin to fear that he might’ve gone, he speaks up. I can sense the soldiers around us listening, watching what is happening. Contemplating perhaps, if they too would need to send a letter themselves, or maybe if they would soon lie on the floor like David was right now.

„Sam…how are you?…I hope…you are well and still…trying your best to be brave…“ I write along. „Sam, I am so, so sorry…“ he whispers this part, I barely understand him, „I know I promised to come back…“ David begins to cry, weakly and afraid. The clenching in my chest and lungs grows more violent and I can feel the sobs climbing up to my throat. He is so scared.

My vision shimmers in the warm light of the lamps overhead. „You are the most extraordinary person I’ve ever met Sam…“ his voice is laced with the fear of death, but I also hear the love and admiration in it, soft and promising. „I never loved someone as much as you…“ Another pause.

I think I can hear the people around us breathing. „I don’t want to die yet… I want to go home and marry you…I want to be with you Sam…“ Breathe, (Y/n). „Please live long and happily…Sam…“ He is remembering, I can see it.

Breathe, (Y/n). My vision is still shimmering around the lights. „…have you got all that?“

Steady breaths, (Y/n), help him. I nod, more to myself than David. „Yes. I got everything. Is there another person you want to write to?“

„No…just Sam…“ David looks up at the ceiling of the room. I notice Eren, Mikasa and Armin in a corner, but I pay even them no mind. David needs my service. „Mama and Papa are dead…“

The words quiver, as if they aren’t strong enough to carry his feelings, like they need something much bigger, louder and stronger to express what is happening. Tiny rivers streak the boys soft face. Soft, yes, that is what he is. It is easy to spot the innocent and gentle ones. „(Y/n)…re you…there…?“ If it weren’t for the fact that I am watching him, I would not have heard his question.

As hard as I am trying, I can’t hide the sadness in my voice. I just pray that it sounds strong enough. „Yes, I’m here David, I’m right next to you…“ I scoot a little closer to him to make sure he can feel my presence. I think he can’t see me anymore. Then I notice it, his hand moving by his side. His bloody fingertips contract ever so slightly.

‚Where are you?‘, they seem to ask, ‚Where did you go?‘ I grab it with both of my own hands, caressing the back of his hand. Piano-hands.

I wonder what he does for fun. I am no lover, nor a mother or sister, or even a friend to this boy, but now I willfully fill whichever one of those roles he longs for.

„Sam will get your letter“, I press the words out, straining to keep my voice steady, „I‘ll make sure of it…“ Pressure, small like a child’s hold on my fingers. „Thanks…“ David mouthes the word.

And just like that, he is dead. From an instant to another, yet another life has gone. I grip his now limp hand hard in mine and press my eyes shut. So tightly as if they could stick together forever. Why? Why all of this death, destruction and cruelty? Why all this Misery? ‚I hate you’, I say to the world and every living being in it, ‚I hate you for doing this. For hurting Sam and killing David, this good, gentle boy. For breaking all the innocent, good things. I hate you. I hate you.‘

I put David’s hand down. I can’t move. A tree - I think of trees. Roots anchoring them deeply to the earth while they look and reach towards the sky. I rip the roots out of the ground with a soft cracking sound resonating in my head.

***

It was like I had left my body for the remainder of the day. I couldn’t think anymore. I functioned because I gave myself small tasks to do. ‚Write.‘‚Pack your stuff.‘ ‚Go to your room.‘ ‚Get a change of clothes.‘ As I am about to wash up and go to sleep, there is a knock on my door. Huh. When I go to see who it is, I am mildly surprised to see Eren in my door, looking worried. „Hey.“ he says, seemingly a bit uncertain of what exactly he even wants here. „Hey.“

It was the first time I’ve spoken in quite a few hours. David hasn’t left my mind, nor his words to his Sam. Nor the hatred that filled my mind, my being. I am so…helpless and miserable. It feels as though I am drowning in a well; no way out, no matter where one might look, only a small, claustrophobic space keeping you in place. „A-are you doing okay…? I was just going back, he points absentmindedly towards where the other dorms lay, and I wanted to see how you’re doing…“

He looks a little bashful aswell. Eren is sweet - he has a good, fierce heart and an indescribable love for freedom. He pursues it more than anything else in the world. I admire him for that.

Just as I open my mouth to answer him, I see David lying next to me, the feeling of his bloody hand still on mine and I am suddenly violently confronted with the fact that I am devastated.

Not just devastated- heartbroken. Because of David, but also because of the world that we live in. That good people like David and Eren die every single day in the most gruesome, horrible way possible and that there is so little, if anything at all, that we can do about it. That I can do about it.

„…I’m miserable.“ Those two words cost me more strength than I would’ve thought. I look away. It is so difficult to be honest with others, but so much more with ourselves.

For a few moments, neither of us say anything. Without thinking, I motion for Eren to come in.

I need to sit down. The weight of it all seems to break the strength of my body.

„You were…so brave, compassionate. I…I‘ve never seen something like that before…“ Eren says once he‘s seated at my desk. I don’t know why that seems so profound to him. I sit on the edge of my bed, fingers running over the blanket, remembering the warmth of the hand they held earlier, the feeling of my pencil between my fingers, the papers…

„I wasn’t.“ I listen to my voice as though I was a third person, watching us from behind my back. Where did I go? „I was so…so angry. And…hopeless…“ The tears come back, but I know that I don’t have to hold them in for David anymore. For any of them. They don’t need me to stay strong now.

‚He’s gone. He doesn’t need anything anymore.‘ It’s a very simple realization, but it feels as though someone drove a hammer down into my gut, angrily, over and over again.

„Why…, my hands bunch up the blanket too harshly, why is this hell upon us?! I hate this, all of this, this entire world, it’s evil and rotten!“ I spit the words out like venom, feeling nauseous.

„You are right to chase and defend your freedom so fiercely, Eren. I wish I could do that…“

My tears have turned my words into sobs, like I am trying to wash all of this sadness out of me through them. „I wish I could…“ I don’t know what I even want anymore. Too tired to carry on, I slump forward, crying properly for David, for the ones that I‘ve lost and for myself.

Then, all of a sudden, Eren is looking me right in the eyes, a hand on my shoulder. My hair frames his face, making me think of the willow that stands at the pond by the main road - the one that leads through the fields towards Wall Rose. I used to pass it quite frequently. His green eyes remind me of the ponds emerald surface. It would glow in the sun like a big gemstone.

As do Eren’s eyes - it is truly an extraordinary color. „(Y/n), listen to me: what you said about this world is true. All of it. But that doesn’t mean that there is nothing good in it! There are good things, good people, good moments - just because the world is cruel doesn’t mean that you have to accept it. You don’t have to protect yourself from everything and everyone.“

He and his words are so close to me; the words jump around in my skull. Eren squeezes my shoulder in a firm manner. „You are a good person. A very good person. You have no idea how… how little people could do what you did earlier with David. You make people believe that they are alright when they are afraid. Can you even imagine how much that means?!“

He stresses this part in particular, shaking his head, eyes closed with a humorless, disbelieving huff. Unable to see why I feel this way. „You are an extraordinary thing! Don’t let this crumble you...“ His eyes shine as he says this, emanating a confidence and belief in his words that almost make me forget just how bad this world really is.

***

That night, after Eren tucked me in as a token of friendship, I slept deeply and with disturbing dreams of David, his eyes open so wide it wasn’t natural, of blood pouring down the walls of my room like water, of an open, empty field. I stood on this field, with no walls to be seen on the horizon in any one direction. Just me and the silence of an open land and an even more open sky.

And then, shaking the entire earth in a low rumble, a vague shape, barely visible in the fog-like clouds, so far away from where I stood - nothing but a speck of life on a never-ending canvas of green. So tall it began to block the sun, throwing a shadow over the entire field and beyond, moving slower than anything I’d ever seen, slow but calculating, the lift of a leg.

I woke up with a blocked off gasp for air; blackness. In a panic, I forced my body to jolt away, any way. And then finally…light, air, space; defined space. I’d been pressing my face deep into my pillow, I then realized. It had made it so hard to breathe. Sweat makes my shirt cling to my body like a second skin.

For a minute, I sit there, slowing my breaths, wiping my teary eyes and gaining my orientation. I’m in the Headquarters of the Scouts; I work as a scribe; yesterday Eren visited me because I held David’s hand when he died. Yes, that’s what happened, what’s happening.

I look to my desk. There, in its envelope, lies David’s letter to Sam, ready to be delivered.

Waiting to reach the person it was written for. All the reason it exists in the first place. A simple piece of paper, holding the power to break down a world. It would be laughable, if it weren’t true.

I wonder what Sam looks like, what she is like. I know that she is a good, kind girl who has plenty of love to give. No other type would love a boy like David was, a soft and innocent one.

Even though I don’t know how Sam looks like, even though I don’t have a clue, I just know that for a fact. I have no trace of doubt. Outside my window I can quietly hear people beginning their day, going to train their combat-; maneuver- and horse-riding-skills.

‚So many soldiers‘, I think. I get up and get dressed, and after making my bed and washing my face, I head off to find Commander Erwin. I need the personal records of my clients so I can track down the addresses for the letters. When soldiers are unable to give me an address, this is usually what I do.

‚Every single one. Not a single note will be left. I swear to damn God if there is one. I will deliver every single one, I swear.‘ With a cold resolve, like a big black monster in my chest, I head down the corridors towards Erwin‘s office.

***

I only take a couple of breaks, only ever a few minutes in the sun, stretching myself a bit and trying to let the light clear my mind. It had been relatively early and Hanji had offered me a piece of bread and a cup of black coffee. She is a good Section Commander, always treating the soldiers equally and kindly. It’s easy to like her.

Erwin himself is working on some papers, but he refuses my help when I offer it to him. When he lost his arm, he immediately began to use his left arm, learning to write very quickly, though his writing is still just a little scribbly.

„You have a much more important task at hand than these lousy papers, (Y/n). It‘s important that we don‘t forget our fallen Comrades. No matter what.“ With those words, he resumed his work, his hand moving across the paper much more concentrated, his brows furrowed together.

Now that I was given access to the personal records - a wall of dark shelves in the room next to Erwin‘s Office - I go back to my room to collect my list of names; people whom I‘d already written letters for in the past five days, but still need the addresses to deliver them. It’s not that many, one might think - fifteen letters. But it’s not as simple as I would like it to be.

Since the fall of Wall Maria, many were without any homes, so often the most I get is an idea of where maybe their family could possibly be at this point. But it is a start and far better than no direction; there are residents for victims of the Overrunning of the outer ring, which give me a reasonable starting point. Folder after Folder, I find out everything I will need. When I finish up with the records, it’s midday.

The weather is nice, but it doesn’t help my mood; I don’t see how the world can look so beautiful when in reality, there is so much to fear, so much to protect yourself from. My dream comes back to mind and I shudder, looking away from the sky towards the training grounds. I‘ll need to prepare Mitty and some food for the next day; perhaps I can deliver all the letters tomorrow.

„(Y/n)!“ I turn around to see Armin and Eren approach, looking as though training had taken a toll. I try to smile at them. „Hey you two, how are you?“ I ask tiredly. Instead of a straight answer, Armin comes up and hugs me. „I saw how you looked yesterday…“ he says. With a sigh, I close my eyes and embrace him. Armin is a soft one too. It feels natural to hug him and I love him for the fact that he’s not embarrassed to show such affections publicly; it reminds me that to care is not a strange thing.

In a way, his embrace right now kind of grounds me - I am still here, living and breathing, just like Armin and Eren. „You worry about yourself. You are all so much…closer to all of it than I am.“ I say, releasing Armin reluctantly with one last squeeze. „No, Armin shakes his head, blue eyes bright with care, you are closer to some of our comrades than we‘ll ever be. I mean it.“

Eren steps to our side, serious. I remember him tucking me in last night, his eyes soft and smiling while he draped the duvet over my arm. I could see his embarrassment over showing his caring side, his cheeks a pretty red color in the light of my oillamp. When I tiredly teased him, he‘d shoved my head into the pillow, grumbling a fast: „Good night“, before he fled my room. All of that embarrassed, playful demeanor is now gone as he continues Armin’s thought.

„Yeah, what you do is kinda, well, special. You are there to convey someone’s feelings - we could never do that.“ „Yes, exactly, Armin agrees, nodding along, we couldn’t. We are scouts, we fight titans, but you…“ He tries to find the right words.

When I see Mikasa with Krista and Sasha some distance away, I wave. Krista waves back and they start to walk toward us. „…you carry very special messages. You help people to express what they feel. At least to me, that brings you much closer to what is happening than us, in a way…“ Armin is blushing a little, looking at a tree behind me.

Eren and I change a look and then I smile an actual, real smile. „Thank you, I say, both of you.“ And then I suddenly think of something. „Will you promise me that you’ll be careful? No, wait - what I actually mean is: please don’t…“

David comes back to my mind. I don’t know if it is because it is so fresh in my memory or because he was so young and innocent or because of his soft piano-hands that whispered of music and love. But he touched my heart. He got close to me. I hadn’t realized my tears until now. „…please don’t die you two.“

When Mikasa and the other two arrive, Armin is hugging me once more to comfort me, but this time we both cry, just a little, and I make sure to hug the others too, because I have to know that they know that I love all of them.

***

For a moment, I stop to watch the sunrise, holding Mitty by the rein; I can’t not watch.

The sky is so wide, so open, and it is filled with the most brilliant shades of gold, orange and violet, mixing in with the darkness of the night lingering overhead. It is as if watercolors were meeting eachother right infront of my eyes, only that they are all full of light and the stars that aren’t quite ready to go out yet make them sparkle. Next to me, Mitty nudges my shoulder, looking for a treat. She’s quite beautiful herself - tall and healthy, her black fur and mane make her look like she belongs to the night.

„Hey, you just had breakfast, Mitty…“ I mumble, caressing her smooth, warm nose. Mitty provides silent, warm comfort, letting me pet her nose and scratch her ears. She neighs softly, leaning towards my pocket. „Nah-ah, Mitty! Later; don’t make a fuss.“

I focus on the day ahead. After some more pets on her long neck, I mount the black mare and get comfortable in the sattle, checking for my backpack.

It contains all of the letters and the names. I cannot afford to have something happen to them.

I feel the monster inside of my chest grumble; it has not left, but has calmed down into a cool, threatening thought. ‚I will deliver all of you. Nobody get in my way; I will not tolerate an interference.‘ When my eyes fly across the training grounds and towards the building of Headquarters, I meet a pair of unexpected eyes. It’s Captain Levi.

He is standing just outside the main entrance, watching me. Dressed in very casual attire, a dirty-white shirt and black pants, he leans on the wall to the left, his arms crossed. It is not very often that I see him in anything other than his uniform. For a moment, as he stands there, I suddenly forget that he is the Captain. I realize that he too must’ve come out to look at the sunrise.

And that in combination with his simple attire, standing by the door, make him look like a normal man. Not the Captain. Mr. Ackermann.

I am too far away from him, so I simply raise my hand to show that I have noticed him. I don’t expect anything - Mr. Ackermann is a man who does whatever he deems right, which also includes whether or not to greet - but to my pleasant surprise, he raises a hand, just a little, from its resting place on his elbow and nods his head. Ever since I came to the Scout-regime to work for them, I help with the paperwork; nothing too exciting, but it is important work. So I see the Captain alone from time to time, though we do not talk all that much.

However, he immediately had my respect, and in an unspoken agreement if you will, he therefore respected me. Well, as someone under his authority, that is. But he is always polite, always thanking me if I bring papers to the archives so he won’t have to.

Once I made him some black tea - there had been a lot of old records, orders and what-nots that had to be organized, put into folders and labeled and so on - so we were quite busy for the better part of a day. I had been tired and bored and therefore didn’t think much of it when I made his tea.

I wanted to do something else for a minute - there was literally no reason for it. When he saw the tea on his desk, he looked at me, his face as set as ever, and said: „Make yourself a cup aswell. We’ll take a break from this trash.“ That was the only time we ever had an actual conversation; not so long, but surprisingly enjoyable.

„Gotta hand it to you - you make some good tea“, he‘d said, his usual monotonous and somewhat bored-sounding voice lighter than usual. He seemed relaxed and once I saw that, I relaxed aswell.

The remainder of our break, we drank black tea in a relatively comfortable silence, the both of us reading different things - him some papers and me a book. ‚Maybe I can pick up some black tea for him somewhere.‘

„Let’s go, Mitty.“ And with that, I turn my eyes ahead to the road leading to the mainroad.

Once we are out of the grounds, the sun begins to throw long, dark shadows, promising a day full of warm light ahead. I think of the letters and of the people I have written them for. And why.

I hope the sun will give me the strength I‘ll need to deliver these news.

***

I appreciate that so little people are about yet. The breeze rushing past my ears and Mitty’s steady steps are the only things I can hear. The air is fresh and carries the smell of the woods nearby.

It’s not too long before I reach the city and I feel my heart grow heavy, dreading the people I will meet today, only to tell them their beloved sons and daughters, siblings and lovers will not be coming back to them. Words. That’s the only thing they left them. I try to think about why it is that words hold the most power over us all. Why words exactly? And why only the spoken word?

It’s effect is so much more fresh, more direct and immediate than only Ink on paper. I sometimes feel as though I am insulting the people that I deliver these letters to; as though I am only adding insult to injury by handing them a piece of paper, holding a few words that will never have the same effect that they are meant to have because the voice that had said them - or meant to say them - has already left the earth together with the person who thought of them. Like the smell of the forest earlier in the wind, they were carried away to somewhere no one could ever follow to.

I gently maneuver Mitty through the city of Trost, passing the occasional man or woman going about their business. Some give me a look, but most simply ignore me, their eyes cast forward, their minds occupied with their own thoughts and troubles.

Once I reach an open space, I bring Mitty to a hault, bringing out the list of addresses from my backpack. ‚Schreiner‘. First one. The client was a sturdily built girl named Ella, with a thick, long braid that reached all the way down her back. She had had a tough character, the typical type.

Her words were straightforward and indicated a strong confidence; her dark eyes reminded me of a cat, always somewhat…treacherous. When I‘d written the letter, she’d been perfectly healthy, but heading out on a mission soon to go beyond the walls. ‚Something will happen eventually - if not this mission then maybe the next - I need one ready to go, y‘know?‘ I look at the name and address once more. A butchery. ‚Breathe, (Y/n).‘

I pet Mitty‘s neck and then move on to the next street. The sun is beginning to grow brighter and I see people begin to open their windows. A new day has begun.

***

By the time I have delivered ten of the fifteen letters, I want to return to the Headquarters.

It was mostly parents. They cried, they sobbed and asked and accused me for having lost their children. They had no one else to let their anger and sadness out on but me, the deliverer. I don’t blame them. I can’t blame them, really.

Still, it took me almost all of my strength to not break down into tears right infront of their eyes with some of them; those damned, desperate eyes that didn’t know where else to search for answers. Not that there was much to answer anyway.

There is no need for a question such as: „Where is my girl?!“ They know the answer to that already. I can’t tell them something like that, though, so I keep my words to myself. Even if some of them say painful things, I never argue with them. They are heartbroken people. The last thing I wish to do is to hurt them even further.

It’s midday and there are people littering the streets like colorful ants, chatting in one big blur of noise, so loud it almost manages to drown out my thoughts. The city makes me uncomfortable; it is loud and crowded, not like the grounds of the Headquarters, where there is plenty of space and much less people. It doesn’t feel as though the place is trying to back you into a corner.

I am so glad that Mitty is with me - it feels like she understands me. I go to find another corner of a street to dismount her for a minute; I have to collect myself before I continue. „Thank you, Mitty - you’re so patient with me“, I whisper to her while I get out of the sattle and land on the ground smoothly. Stepping close to her side as to avoid bumping into anyone, I reach into my pocket and pull out a carrot.

Immediately, Mitty begins to dance a little, shaking her head and pulling on her rein, eyes sparkling. I can‘t help but smile at her eagerness, calming her down with a few words before handing her the carrot. „You really do deserve it.“

As Mitty munches her treat, I take a moment to think of the people I encountered today. Strangely enough, the first delivery was the one to go the least expected. The Letter I had written for Ella was meant for her Father, Mr. Schreiner, who‘s first name I later learned was Alfred. He was the only person who had insisted to invite me inside his house.

I am used to people wanting to hear about my work with their loved ones, to describe the work for them, to describe my clients to them, even though they know them so much better than I do. But mostly, I experience that people wish to be alone with their grief. The‘ll take the letter and maybe say something. And then they will close their doors and their windows and make themselves as invisible as they can. I think they wish that, if they just try hard enough, they might actually disappear.

Mr. Schreiner did not do that. Instead, he wished to share his feelings with me, so he wouldn‘t have to carry them all by himself. I was relieved to take some of the load off of his large, broad shoulders; I was happy to.

Ella’s Father, a big, strong bolder of a man with a thick beard and eyebrows, who towered over me once he opened the door was, to my surprise, not angry with me. A butcher of such a massive built, I’d suspected enraged curses, or threats even, however, the man took the letter gingerly and listened to what I had to say.

Once I finished, he began to cry like a little boy, his huge shoulders shaking and tears falling down his gruff face endlessly. It took him a few minutes to be able to speak somewhat cohesively again. He clearly loved his child more than anything else.

„Th-thank you, lady, he’d sobbed, f-for…“ He had to stop and pull a large handkerchief out of his pocket to blow his nose and dab his eyes, even though that did not help to stop the tears.

They continued to fall like a flood. „It’s nothing, Sir…I am so sorry for your loss…“ I’d bowed to him and went to leave, but he stopped me, calling out to me in a broken voice: „Lady, w-will you come i-in? Please, I, he blowed his nose once more, trying to steady his breath, I would like to-to t-talk…“

It was such a heartbreaking sight to see such a large, strong and intimidating man so broken, I couldn’t say no. I felt so horrible and in an irrational way, as though all of it was my fault; as if I had been the one who killed his daughter; the one to break him.

Of course, logically speaking, this was not true, but… „A-alright Sir, if you want…“ With a gesture, Mr. Schreiner motioned for me to come inside and after I tied Mitty to a bar infront of the butchery, I entered his house.

We sat at a kitchentable, sitting by a window towards the backally. It was a narrow and dark street, which made me think of muggers and murders cornering you if you should be so unfortunate to enter this place.

Mr. Schreiner sobbed for a few minutes more, his hands hiding his thick eyebrows and parts of his beard. The weeping willow sprang to my mind and I was angry at myself for thinking that. Just as I was about to say something, anything really, he spoke up in a hoarse voice.

„I know you; acquaint‘s used your service…“ One more honk of his nose and then he slowly gained some steadiness in his words. As he told me about himself, his daughter and how things had gotten to this point where I, a complete stranger, was sitting at his table, I felt oddly relieved. Someone was talking to me, a person with a life and emotions was talking to me as an equal.

Not many clients were like this. Mr. Schreiner had lived an equally troubled and equally fortunate life, or so he said. An orphan himself, he had vowed to love and protect his family - if he would ever have one - more than anything, leaving an abusing foster family behind when he was fourteen. He had taken on any work he could get in order to stay off the streets, sleeping in barns and cellars, under bridges or beneath a table inside of bars with an exceptionally kind owner.

Later, when I left after maybe an hour or so later, Mr. Schreiner gave me some good cuts of dried meat to bring with me. „The least I can do. Enjoy it with someone if ye can; tastes better that way.“ I shook his hand, almost twice as big as my own, and thanked him earnestly. „You’re a kind man, Mr. Schreiner. I wish you all the best. And thank you very much - I have a friend who loves meat more than anything, so…“ I managed to get a smile out of him, even if it was overshadowed by his devastation.

„I’m glad; now, I don’t mean to keep ya, you got work to do.“ He squeezed my hand with both of his, eyes looking at me from beneath his eyebrows, shimmering with tears. „You’re a sweet one, lady. Make sure ye don’t lose that, yes?“ I almost lost to the lump in my throat, trying not to cry. I could not stop thinking of how alone kind Mr. Schreiner would be.

I nodded, returning the squeeze on his massive hands. He reminded me of an oak tree, sturdy and sheltering. „I‘ll try my best.“

I pinch the bridge of my eyes, taking a deep breath. The noise of the life around me. I let it seep into my mind as much as I can, I concentrate on it, trying to let it flood all of my thoughts. I have to keep going.

Focusing on anything else but my thoughts, I mount Mitty again, feeling how my backpack’s weight has increased a substantial amount since this morning. I haven’t met Sam yet. Neither the Winters, nor the Evergardens, nor the Gärtners or Bergmanns. I know every name. I set off into the river of dull, talking colors. ‚Breathe, (Y/n), you’ll be home soon.‘

***

Of course, Sam is the last person on my list. The last letter. I am tired and feel empty, sitting on Mitty‘s back, the sun almost uncomfortably warm on my head. It‘s aching, but that is not just from the sun. Sam‘s House is on the outskirts of the city, so once I get there, it is already noon.

The house stands between two others, not setting itself apart except for it‘s color. It is painted white, which has gone a little dull with the years, but it makes the building seem lighter, more easygoing than its neighbors.

Another one of countless sighs leave me and when I slip out of my saddle once more, I stand next to Mitty and press my face against her long neck, inhaling her warm, somewhat stinging scent. As if she knows what is happening in my mind, Mitty lowers her head and cranes it towards me, one of her large black eyes blinking slowly. The warmth her body produces is so different from that of the sun.

Clutching my backpack, I shut my eyes and for a delicious moment, all there is is Mitty‘s warmth against my face, her soft fur tickling my skin, just barely, and her scent in my nose, filling my lungs. But I force my eyes open again and force myself even more to step towards the house. Now I am standing just infront of the wooden door. I don‘t know what to expect. So, taking the last, lonely letter out of the backpack, I knock.

Nobody opens for a minute. Then, with a creak, the door swings open and a young woman steps out. She looks like a farmer‘s daughter; well-fed, strong, with thick, dirty-blonde hair falling over her shoulders. Her eyes. I find myself frozen in thought. They look so much like Mitty’s, almost black they are so dark. And large and kind.

„Hello, can I help you?“ she asks, in a tone I cannot interpret. „…are you Sam?“ The words come out hoarse and weak, there is no strength to them anymore. She nods her head, making her wavy, blonde hair sway. Like trees leaning in the wind. Mitty snorts behind me. I can’t do it. With tears now falling, I reach out with the letter, my face scrunching up pathetically. I hate myself. „This is from David…I‘m so, so sorry…“

#aot x you #aot fanfiction #violet evergarden #aot levi #aot eren #attack on titan #drabble #aot au #aot armin #levi attack on titan #aot final season #aot angst

6 notes · View notes

bundleofyarrow · 2 years

Text

a little piece about going into work sick and your work husband Erwin Smith noticing. i am actually recovering from being super sick, so i wrote this to channel Erwin energy for myself! part of this May Flowers event and my AoT Poetics AU.

New Beginnings

“Sure you don’t want to go home?”

You lifted your eyes from the soup on your desk. Erwin stood in the office doorway, about to leave after delivering your feel-better lunch. His pinched eyebrows gave his look of concern a seriousness you weren’t expecting.

Since waking up, you felt miserable. Stuffed nose, sore throat, downing cough drops walking to work. And it was raining, of course, a chill drizzle that seemed to change direction every few seconds. When you got to school, your nose was permanent shade of red and every inch of skin shivered. The jingle of your keys opening your office cued Erwin to poke his head out of his, commenting that you arrived later than usual. He was the last person you wanted to see, feeling like a shriveled swamp creature shrinking in front of his immaculate appearance. It was then he rushed out to get you some soup while you tried in vain to look like a professional human being.

“It’s just feeling off from the changing seasons, I’m okay.” You tried to seem like you weren’t in discomfort but it was clear you couldn’t breathe through your nose. “I have two classes to get through today. And don’t forget our committee meeting, then the philosophy guest lecture I promised Zeke to go to, and that’s not even counting the social afterwards-”

You interrupt yourself accidentally dropping your spoon into the soup, splattering liquid all over the place. An explicative slips from your mouth as you startle to your feet and frantically try to clean things.

“May I?” You didn’t notice Erwin stride over to you, hovering his hand over yours. When he receives a confused nod, he lifts yours up and into his palm. It quivers, partly because this attractive coworker is touching you in an intimate way, but mainly from the chills running through your body. “It’s room temperature in here,” after he gestures to your forehead, you let Erwin feel your temperature. “and you’re hot. Running hot, temperature-wise, that is.” He mumbles that last part out as he puts distance between you. The room feels much colder when he steps away. Erwin takes a look outside the window, and then to his watch. “I can drive you home if we leave now.”

“But- I have so much to do today!”

“I’ve taught one of your classes before and you can give me notes for the other.” His voice is both serious and soft as he reaches out to touch your shoulder. “I’d rather you rest.”

It didn’t take much more to lead you down to his car and whisk you away from work. Erwin listened to you complain about how Porco is unpredictable to teach with, keeping his focus on the road except for when he’d look over to you whenever you fell quiet. For a bit it felt like you weren’t coworkers, but something else.

As he escorts you to your apartment, you realize this is the first time Erwin has seen where you live. His eyes trail the door of your neighbor as he passes by, knowing Zeke lives there. When you step in yours, you turn to look up at him.

“Thanks for everything Erwin, I wish I could invite you in for tea or something.” You get a tingle in your stomach when we smiles.

“I’d love to, let’s make a plan for another day. And whenever it’s bad weather out, just text me and we’ll carpool to work together, okay?”

From then on, you and Erwin began to spend a lot more time together.

#may flowers event #poetics au #erwin smith x reader #erwin x reader #attack on titan x reader #aot x reader

1 note · View note

anqelically-archived · 2 years

Text

I’LL WAIT LONGER | ARMIN ARLERT X FEM!INSERT

WORDS: 1.2k

CONTENT: manga spoilers, angst, character death, blood, armin may be slightly ooc in one part

NOTE: i wrote this so fast oh my goodness, i’ve just been in a sad mood because of aot. an insanely good fanfic, which i started reading less than a month ago, also ended so here we are with me having sudden motivation for writing aot. the story: comrades is here if you want to read

war was a terrible thing that cost the lives of many. those in paradis knew that but still barged into marley anyway. they had to retrieve eren jaeger as he possessed the founding titan and was incredibly important to keep alive.

the founder invaded the liberio internment zone by himself, leaving everyone else trapped on the outside of the internment zone.

if only he had never invaded, then [name] [surname] wouldn’t have a bullet shot into her chest by gabi braun. the young girl was a warrior candidate for marley, taking part of those who wish to be a titan shifter in the future for honor.

everyone stared at [name]’s figure in shock as she stepped back, her body soon dropping onto the ground. blood was leaking out of her left side.

enraged at one of their commanding officers being shot down, many of the scouts rushed over to gabi and another kid. falco grice only wanted to protect gabi but here they were, both getting punched, kicked, and screamed at.

sasha braus’ hands were on [name]’s shoulders as soon as she dropped to the ground, “name!” she was begging with desperate eyes the said girl had never seen before. “control yer breathing and stay with us!”

connie springer’s hands were pressing down on the [color]-eyed woman’s injury. [name] only winced and coughed out red. she was sure something vital was hit.

“bandages!” jean kirstein yelled, “get me bandages now!”

the tall man knelt at [name]’s side and whispered sweet lies to her. she knew that she wouldn’t make it out alive, and she was sure the trio knew it as well as much as they wanted to deny it.

when jean got the bandages he requested, he was quick to wrap them around [name] with the help of connie and sasha. they all talked to keep your attention.

“a-all my belongings go t-to-“ [name] coughed even more blood, “ar-armin since he knows what to do w-with it. and-“

“don’t tell us your will now!” connie squeezed your hand, “just stay awake!”

“armin…” [name] pleaded with tears in her eyes as they were beginning to blur, “take me… to him.”

the headache hit hard as connie slammed the door to the front section of the ship open. everyone inside looked at him confused since they didn’t know the situation yet.

“connie?” hange zoe, who was the commander of the scouts, questioned.

“your hands are bloody,” levi ackerman stated the obvious as everyone’s attention was now on his hands.

“it’s [name]’s, she was shot and we don’t think she’ll make it,” connie grit his teeth and moved to the side.

armin arlert swore his heart dropped the moment the bomb was. he watched paralyzed as jean and sasha carried [name]’s body in and laid her down near where eren was tied up.

mikasa ackerman knelt down near name like jean, sasha, and connie did. “[name],” she begged as she cried, “don’t close your eyes and keep listening to me.”

“mikasa,” the dying girl muttered before repeating, “ar-min…”

hearing his name, armin snapped out of his trance and brought himself right next to [name]. he looked at the bandages that were bleeding through before bringing his vision to her face, which he cupped with his hands.

“i love you,” [name] reminded the sobbing blonde, “don’t come s-so soon. i’ll wait to see you again.”

armin’s head dropped by hers, “don’t go, you can’t leave yet. you promised me, [name], you made a promise!”

“we’ll get married then in the future, armin. me and you, we’ll live on a small house by the ocean.”

the other’s cries intensified and armin could already ponder why. hesitantly, he lifted his head up to see [name]’s eyes lifelessly open. she was staring right into his soul, as dead as she was.

armin felt like he couldn’t breathe as even more tears streamed down his face in rivers, his hands gripping [name]’s shoulder tightly.

he stopped when he heard hysterical laughter behind him. the blue-eyed man looked at his old best friend in disbelief. eren was laughing when [name] of all people just died.

while they were little, armin was first friends with [name] since they were neighbors. soon, the pair met eren and mikasa joined later. it was always them four from then on.

he was fairly sure eren had a crush on [name] too while they first met, but it was something that eventually faded. and now the guy who once crushing on her while she smiled was laughing at her while she was dead.

armin suddenly felt anger rush through him as he got up and gripped eren’s collar tightly. this action caught the rest off-guard. “how can you be laughing!? now!? [name]’s done so much for you and now your laughing at the fact that she’s dead!? she’s saved you, mikasa, jean, sasha, me! and you want to laugh!?” more and more curses and yells spilled out of armin’s mouth thoughtlessly.

it was built-up frustration spewing out of armin’s mouth. they wondered for so long why eren left and had to busy themselves with finding him.

then as soon as they figure out where he is, they plan an ambush that would kill many innocent civilians in the internment zone. it was a parallel to the fall of shiganshina, their home.

the mid-east allied nations would now be enraged when learning that their ambassadors were killed. paradis also lost some soldiers of their own, [name] now being one of the fallen.

everything broke like a dam. “why can’t you-!” armin’s scratchy words died when he saw the look on eren’s face.

the brunette’s teeth were grinding against each other as his eyes told armin the truth. he regrets it. armin let go of eren’s collar and ignored mikasa’s calls while heading to the front of the blimp where he could see the sea below.

the ocean. [name] promised armin that they would have a house near it on paradis, but how was that possible with her dead?

—

it was silent. gently, armin felt his body float down to the flattened land below. memories of conversations appeared in his mind as his eyes widened.

his best friend, eren jaeger, did this all for them.

“i know you can’t forgive me for [name], but i tried changing it somehow. it was useless.”

”so you’re saying she could never be saved?”

“no, there was no saving her. she was meant to die then and there on the airship.”

“then… i don’t blame you. things were just meant to end that way. besides, she wouldn’t want me to be mad at you.”

armin laid up from the smoke as he felt different, “now i remember… this is what he meant.”

the nineteen year old looked all around walking through the mist until a figure caught his eye. standing straight and staring right at him was [name] [surname].

she smiled at him, a proud look in her eyes. armin stepped closer to her figure in disbelief, wanting to reach out before [name] made the first move.

her transparent body, which was only getting clearer by the moment, walked forward and crouched down to the sandy dirt beneath. armin watched as [name] was surprisingly able to interact with the real world one last time.

‘i’ll wait longer :)’

tears escaped the ends of armin’s eyes while looking at [name] one last time, “thank you, [name]. you can finally rest now.”

and just like that, with a wordless goodbye, she left him again.

NAVIGATION

please reblog to support <3

234 notes · View notes

cowboycakes · 3 years

Text

Do You Get My Letters

✥ Pairing: Levi x fem!Reader, somewhat Reiner x fem!Reader

✥ Themes: Fluff, angst, sadness, big ass plot twist

✥ Warnings: Female bodied reader (she/her pronouns,) Pregnancy and birth (nothing gory.) Mentions of death, violence, and threats. Manipulation.

✥ Synopsis: You are carrying Reiner's baby when he betrays Paradis. Levi decides to step in.

✥ Word Count: 2.2k

(there is a part two up to this fic, but i've decided i'm going to rewrite the ending at some point.)

Anon's Request: Hi! I saw your requests are open so here I want to give my little scenario a try! 🕳🤸🏽‍♀️ I thought abt this last night, I’m currently rewatching AOT after 6 yrs and yet to finish season 4, so sorry if I’m wrong abt timelines/the plot? My request is the reader was with child with Reiner, but b4 reader told him, he betrayed and exposed his mission. Levi stepped in to help reader. And btw, I just finished watching ep 3 of season 4, so maybe Eren telling reiner abt his child and he regrets leaving the reader? And reiner jealous at the fact Levi is most likely considered his child’s father at that point. I can’t come up with an ending, so I’ll leave it up to you if you do take in my request. If this isn’t your type of writing I totally understand!

Note: This story is canon divergent. It is set in season 4, but in a universe where Reiner is not revealed as a traitor/the armored titan until a few months before season 4 takes place, as the reader was having relations with him until then and did not know his secret. I’m sorry if that change bothers you, I just wanted to write this as sort of its own story. This story contains season 4 spoilers! It also has nothing to do with the canon ending of AOT.

---

Dear Reiner,

I hope this letter somehow gets to you, I don’t quite know where to start.

In a perfect world, I would be so happy to tell you this. You’d be ecstatic too, I think. And before you try to second guess me: I’m sure by now, don’t worry.

I’m pregnant.

I guess we weren’t careful enough before you left. I feel like an idiot. And lost. But I’m not hopeless. I know myself, I can make it work somehow. With or without you.

I’m still in shock about you. How could someone so close hide so much? You’re a talented spy I suppose, a great asset to Marley. You made me trust you with my entire life. You made me love every false thing about you. And this is the rude awakening I get in return.

I’ll raise our child to value honesty and kindness, all in spite of you.

Sincerely,

Reader

---

The paper was damp with tears after you lifted your pen for a final time. You wished you could just keep the whole thing a secret: go make a quiet life for yourself somewhere else. It wouldn’t be right. Not after all of the dishonesty that man had spewed to you over the past few years. You had to tell him.

The door to the office room you’d settled in to write the letter creaks open. It’s Levi. He looks at your puffy eyes somberly, sympathetic. He was the first person you had told about the entire situation. Not because you were close, just because you needed help.

You fold your letter and stick it into a sturdy envelope. Levi takes it in his hand.

“That piece of shit doesn’t deserve a thing from you. Not a letter. Certainly not tears,” Levi says, using a clean handkerchief to wipe a stray drop from your cheek, “but I am proud of you.”

You take the handkerchief from him, feeling more tears stream down your face.

“Proud? I’m a fucking idiot,” you say through your sobs.

“Don’t even try to pull that self pity shit with me. Things happen sometimes. And you’re strong enough to commit to getting through it,” he responds.

You stand up, pushing your chair out. You look at him as you dry your face off again.

“I’m alone. How the hell am I supposed to do this shit alone?”

“You are not alone,” Levi replies. You’re shocked when he pulls you into a hug. “I’m going to help.”

You had never seen this side of him before. You look at him as you pull away slowly, tears still welled in your eyes.

“Are you sure? That's a big burden, Levi. None of this has to involve you.”

“Not the biggest burden I’ve ever taken on,” he shrugs. “There’s a lot of death around here, Y/N. Everyone is going to be happy about the little bit of life you’re giving us.”

You chuckle. He’s cynical, but he’s right.

He licks the envelope as he walks toward the door.

“Want me to run you a hot bath or something? Is that the type of shit pregnant people need?” he asks.

You laugh, a little harder than normal. It felt so relieving to laugh.

“Sure, Captain,” you respond softly.

---

Dear Reader,

I received your letter before the battle in Marley. I actually got to hand it to Reiner myself. He knows everything now. He broke down in front of me after reading it, going on about how much he regrets everything. How he wishes he could change things and be there for you. He begged me to kill him right there.

The world will eventually not have suffering like what you are going through now.

Eren Jaeger

---

Your jaw had dropped reading it. He begged me to kill him.

You hand the letter Levi had just delivered back to him. He reads it with a furrowed brow.

“Do you think…” you begin, your voice shaky, “do you think I could send another letter?”

Levi purses his lips, “Possibly. I can ask Jaeger. But right now, you need to bring your blood pressure back down.”

You were over seven months along now. You had found out about your pregnancy late, after being in denial for four whole months. Hange insisted on checking you out after you’d thrown up every morning for a week.

Levi had since gone on a parenting book reading spree; he made you read several of them too. He knew just about everything you needed to do to make a healthy baby: what to eat, what not to eat, how to exercise, when to go to the doctor, etc. It was really sweet how much he cared. You knew it gave him hope, something to fight for, something to come home to.

You were terrified when he left for Marley. You kissed him for the first time when he returned. Just about everyone you knew had to fight. You wished you could be out there fighting with them like you were supposed to. Maybe you could have made a difference.

Levi takes your hand, squeezing it to bring you out of your thoughts.

“What can I do?” he asks.

“Get me a glass of wine,” you grumble.

“Absolutely not.”

---

Dear Reiner,

Reader does not know I’m sending this. So keep it that way, or I’ll kill your sorry ass. Or maybe not, you’d probably enjoy that. In that case I’ll get creative.

How does it feel? Being a fucking deadbeat? Is it everything you’d thought it’d be and more? Fucking her and leaving her with nothing, like she belongs in a whorehouse. Reminds me of what happened to my mother. Pieces of shit like you came in and sent her to her death, leaving her kid behind to starve.

I wasn’t about to let her suffer like my mother did. But you were. I’m glad your choices haunt you, Reiner. You fucking deserve it.

I’ll be there for the both of them from now on, doing everything you were never capable of. She’s due any day now, I’m sure she’ll try to write to you.

Levi

---

You feel your first contraction while napping on the couch with Levi. You were settled in between his legs, your back leaning up against his chest. He had his hands on your stomach; he loved to feel the baby kick and tell them some of the happier stories in his memories.

The two of you had grown so close over the past few months. You slept together every night now. You didn’t want to leave each other’s sides if you didn’t have to. Levi would cuddle and massage you any time your pregnant body was ailing you.

You had fantasized with him about life after the war. He wanted to be a husband, a father, to live peacefully in the countryside. And he wanted more than anything for you to join him.

The first contraction wasn’t painful enough for you to make much more than a grunting noise, but Levi woke up the second he felt your stomach contort a bit. He was on very high alert these days.

“Holy… shit…is that what I think it is?” Levi whispers, “Don’t answer. I’m getting Hange.”

He crawls out from behind you and sprints out of the room.

The pain worsens and becomes much more frequent while he’s out looking for Hange. You stand up eventually after getting the urge to walk around - and your water breaks. You start panicking, unsure of how dilated you were and how much time you had left before pushing. You really wished you’d done more than just skimmed through those birthing books right about now.

Levi and Hange eventually come sprinting back into the room with a wheelchair and cold rags to find you whimpering in pain on the couch, trying your best to control your breathing.

You’re rushed down the halls to the Scout’s infirmary, where Levi had made sure the perfect room was set up for you - and it had been that way for two months.

The next hour goes by in a blur. Hange knew the biology of how to deliver the baby, and Levi knew how to coach you. He helped you hold your legs back when you pushed, and helped you count out your breathing. Hange attended to everything that might have made Levi faint, like checking your dilation and making sure the baby was coming out at the right angle. You got lucky having these two by your side.

Through all of your efforts, you finally hear a cry. You look up to see Levi holding your tiny new baby as Hange wiped them clean. He was smiling, way bigger than you’d ever seen him smile before, with tears in his eyes.

“Here,” he says softly, handing her to you.

You cradle her on your bare skin. “She’s so perfect, Levi! Look how sweet she is!” you coo.

“What are you going to call her?” he asks, stroking your hair as you gleam down at your baby.

“I was thinking,” you smile, “Kuchel.”

Levi lets out small gasp. Tears start streaming down his face, his efforts to stifle them failing.

“Really? I think that’s,” he wipes his eyes, “a wonderful name.”

—-

Dear Reiner,

She’s finally here! Oh my god, she’s precious. Levi and Hange helped to deliver her. Labor went smoothly. Levi started to cry when he saw her for the first time. She really is just that perfect. We are calling her Kuchel, after Levi’s mother. He cried when I told him that, too (don’t tell him I’m sharing those crying details.) I've decided to give her Levi’s last name as well.

Levi set up the perfect nursery for us.

If you really did feel guilty for leaving - don’t be. I’m happy.

She has your eyes.

Sincerely,

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

Kuchel said her first word today. Of course it wasn’t mama, she’s such a daddy’s girl. She started crawling awhile ago, we are now working on standing up on our own. She has all of this blonde curly hair, too. She’s growing up so fast.

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

Levi proposed a few days ago. It was so perfect. We found a nice house with room for a farm that will be perfect for a family.

I can only wonder how you’re doing, now that the war is over.

Are you even alive?

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

I’m expecting again. Levi is beyond excited. I am too, of course. Kuchel started school this year. She is such a smart kid.

I still wonder about you. After all these years.

Reader

—-

Message after message, word after word. No response. You had decided he must be dead. The devastation after the war would argue that he was.

That is, until you found yourself rummaging through one of Levi’s desk drawers, looking for baby Isabel’s lost pacifier.

You felt the bottom of the drawer shift. A false bottom?

You pry at it until it comes open.

Letters.

Dozens of opened letters. With Marleyan postage stamps.

You pull out the first bundle you see. They’re all from you. Unopened. Unsent. You set them aside, your jaw quivering.

You pull out the second bundle and gasp.

—-

Dear Reader,

Eren showed me your letter. I am terribly sorry. Let me fix this, somehow. You can come to live with me in Marley. I will take care of you. Please.

I’m not just a traitor, a liar, a farce. Everything between us was real. I can explain everything. Just trust me.

Love,

Reiner

—

Dear Reader,

Do you get my letters?

I’ve only heard rumors about our new baby girl. I wish I could see her. Just once. For a second. Do you have a camera? I know they’re hard to come by in Paradis. I can send one.

I’d do anything to change this. You know I would.

Love,

Reiner

—-

To Levi,

You son of a bitch. I know exactly what you’re doing. You think this is protecting her, but it’s not. Just let her talk to me. She would listen, she would understand. You said yourself that she writes. You manipulative, sick bastard. That is MY child. She will never be yours. No matter what you brainwash her to believe, your dirty Ackerman blood does not run through her veins. She deserves to know. You are the farce, Levi.

Reiner

—-

There were dozens more. All opened. All from Reiner.

You sink down to the floor, tears spilling from your eyes.

You are the farce, Levi.

But, why? He was just protecting you, right?

The office door opens. You jump, shoving the letters back into the drawer.

“Mommy, why are you crying?” Kuchel asks.

You take a deep breath, staring down at the letters, thinking about everything that could have been.

“Are you happy here, Kuchel?”

“Yes!” she chirps, “Every day!”

“Then it’s nothing, baby. Mommy just got hurt. She’s better now.”

Your daughter giggles and skips out of the room, leaving you to hide away the rest of the letters.

༺♥༻

I REALLY HOPE I understood your request, Anon! I actually had a lot of fun writing this. It isn't something I would normally think to write, but I'm so glad you shared this idea! Sorry for the sad ending, I love playing w people's emotions ;)

༺♥༻

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #levi aot #reiner x reader #reiner braun #reiner x you #levi x you #attack on titan #aot x reader #aot imagines #levi imagine #reiner imagine #snk reiner #snk levi #tw: pregnancy #tw: threats #tw: manipulation #tw: mentions of death

712 notes · View notes

father-time-and-baby-new-year · 3 years

Note

Would it be to much to ask for a Eren scenario where both he and the reader are both equally toxic, manipulative and possessive over eachother but both just cannot let the other go to the point where even when they reunite when Eren escapes the survey corps he asks her to tell him if anyone else whether it was the army or the jeagerists, if they had touched her even if it was just to escort her which she just nods and refuses to tell him any names cuz she likes to see him riled up by her having been "corrupted" and seeing how with a single act she can have him on edge and he falls for her even more by her devious and selfish wiles to have him get irritated and angry but only to end up wanting more of her charms.

Just some good dark angtsy feels all around🖤

A/N: just a little drabble. i've never done canon-verse stuff for AOT so this was fun to try. thank you sending this ask. i did deviate from your ending a little bit so im sorry <3

Warning: AoT Season 4 Spoilers, extreme possessive behavior, toxic relationship, anger issues, gaslighting/manipulating

Eren can feel himself getting restless. Hange had been getting on his nerves. He was the literally the only reason they had secured their victory against Marley on multiple fronts. She and the rest of the fucking Survey Corps should be bending over backward in gratitude.

He cracks his knuckles although he had no need to, wanting to focus on a physical sensation. His thoughts eventually circle back to you. He misses you sorely.

In Marley, there was this kind child Falco. Eren could say he felt guilty for manipulating the poor boy. But that's not true. He's shed that part of humanity a long time ago. All's fair in war after all.

The fair-haired boy was worried about his friend, didn't want a certain special someone of his to become titanized.

Is this other candidate a girl?

Eren had asked. Because he could relate to the Marelyan child. There was a girl he was trying to protect too, who he'd raise hell over, who he'd destroy the world for.

The dark-haired boy can feel himself grow restless. There are a million things to do. Coups to start. Militia to gather. A brother to manipulate. A world to ruin.

But first, he needs to see you. It's already been so long. He had barked orders to Floch to make sure you were safe and secure. If any hair off your pretty little head was misplaced-well no one wants to witness the rage of the Founding Titan's holder.

CRASH

The ground shakes. Eren closes his eyes and lets the Warhammer titan's power course through his veins. Foolish to think any prison could ever hold him.

He's walking uphill. The sunset bathes the land in vibrant pinks, oranges, and light violets. There is a crowd of people standing tall and at attention, postures rigid, save for one.

You hurl towards him at the speed of light and twice the fury, wrapping your arms around his neck. If Eren wasn't six feet of hard muscle, he would have been knocked off his feet from the vigor of your crushing embrace.

"Eren!" You cry out.

The attack titan vessel is too shocked to respond. He's been anticipating your presence for the longest but to finally feel you in the flesh and to smell your soft pretty scent was sending him into overdrive. He couldn't believe you were tangible and not some hauntingly beautiful apparition.

He wraps his arms around you, enveloping your body in his warmth, and you rest your head in the crook of his neck. He feels your nimble fingers toying with his hair.

"I like this new look. It suits you." You mummer.

"Like me without a shirt too?" Eren teases.

He forgot how easy it was to be himself around you, to joke and laugh like he wasn't planning a global genocide of epic proportions. No, even that's an understatement. His goal was an omnicide, utter annihilation. Only Paradis will be left after the ashes settle. A Paradis with you.

"What are you thinking about?" You ask, eyes wide with an untouched innocence that Eren doesn't know how you still possess. All of that eager wide-eyed optimism had been snuffed out from all of his friends. From him. But you, you don't change like the seasons or winds. You're you.

And that was going to be his ruin.

After the Yeagerists brief him on what happened with Zackley and Zeke Yeager's possible whereabouts, Eren gives into his overwhelming urges to see you.

He approaches your chambers, trying to conceal his impatience with soft knocks. You don't answer which irritates him, so he knocks louder and louder, the sound of his fist banging against the door sounding like thunderclaps.

Where the fuck are you? Were you with someone right now? He knew you were getting a little too friendly with Floch from the way you guys were talking at dinner. It was so obvious. He's been gone, for what, a few months and you're already whor-

The door opens and exposes a sleepy-looking girl whose rubbing one of her eyes. Admittedly, very adorable.

"Eren" Your voice is saccharine, "Do you need anything?"

He lets himself in, and shuts the door behind him, locking it in place.

"I don't usually lock the door," You pout but there's a playfulness in your expression that Eren would have noticed had he not been consumed by rage.

"What? So you let anyone in?" He asks, nearly snarling out the words. as he stares scandalized at your slip of a nightgown. A pale translucent pink that reached the middle of your thighs. He could even make the outline of your nipples poking through.

"No, silly." You giggle, twirling the hem of your dress, "Floch's security measure." You pretended not to notice how Eren's fist clenches.

"Is that so?" Eren said, words spoken between gritted teeth. As long as Eren was here, there need be no concerns over security measures. But he knew Floch. The ginger worshipped the ground Eren walked on and would never make a move on you if he cared about his limbs staying intact.

You sat down on your bed and Eren couldn't help but watch your skimpy dress ride up your creamy thighs.

He stood over you, his form looming over yours as you sat on your bed, feet swinging above the ground.

"I wanted to ask you something."

You look up with those big childlike eyes, "Okay."

"Did. Anyone. Touch. You?" His voice is low and he punctuates each word slowly.

You blink "What do you mean?” But there’s a coy smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

"Quit playing dumb." He growls, anger evident in the crease between his eyebrows.

You're quiet for a still moment, mouth opening and closing. Eren's anxiety increases more each second and it finally boils over when you softly ask, "What kind of touch?"

Like a chess piece topping over, he shoves you down the bed, pinning your wrists with his strong hands.

Usually, Eren was smarter. Quicker to call you on your tricks. But alas, absence makes the heart fonder. You love making him lose his stoic composure, so lost in his lust and desire for you that all he can see crimson. And if the price for that is to play the fragile maiden, it is what it is.

"Ow." You pitifully whine, lightly shaking your right hand. Eren knew he wasn't holding you too hard so he experimentally thumbs over a certain spot on your right wrist, eliciting another small whimper. He brings your wrist closer to him and finds a purple bruise.

"Who touched you? Was is it any of the yeagerists?" His voice is deadly calm but an ice-cold rage simmers in his eyes. You can feel yourself growing excited, heat pooling in the bottom of your stomach. You’re rubbing your legs together for the friction but Eren assumes it a nervous tic to avoid answering any of his questions.

When you avert your gaze and simply look the side, he delicately cradles your cheek: “Was it the scouts?”

The delicate touch turns harsher when you don't respond, forcing your pretty head to look straight at him. He sees your eyes glistening, and when he looks into your dewy irises, he can see himself.

His voice drops a pitch, "Please tell me."

Your breathing is shallower and you can't help but enjoy this so much.

It's been so long since you've seen him-since you begged him not to go but he went anyway, and having him here right now--the pride and joy of the Eldian empire , the holder of the Founding Titan-unravel in your fingertips, well this was the closest to true power you've ever been.

Eren can feel his patience sleeping, anger seeping into his bones at your silence, and the bruise on your delicate wrist only serves to anger him further. He can't even do what he swore to do and that was to keep you safe.

"Are you not telling me who it is because you're protecting them?"

The words are delivered deadly calm with the tension of a brewing storm behind it. You're nervous, exactly aware of what your beau is capable of, but the excited kind of nervous where butterflies are swarming in your stomach.

Maybe you underestimated his anger because within a second, the telltale red lines start to form under his eyes, lightning bright sparks forming between each breath.

Without thinking, you envelop the back of his head with one arm (the other hand rendered useless bu the force of his hold), trying to bring his head into the softness your breasts.

Understanding your gesture, Eren immediately calms down and lets himself be smothered in your chest like a babe being cradled in his mother's warmth.

"There, there" you coo, words soft and melodious on your tongue.

You can feel wet-spots on your nightie, "Eren...are you-" you begin, not sure when to end.

His voice is tightly controlled as if not let his coiled emotions fuse again, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was about to hurt you." He sounds so broken, and all you can do is stroke his hair.

You press a kiss to his head. You know what the right words to say are. You should be comforting him and assuring him he could never hurt you.

Instead you stay silent, softly exhaling. He can't see the pleased smile on your face.

"Your wrist feeling any better?"

You whip up your head to see Floch whose peering down at you in slight concern. You must have looked confused because he elaborated, "The one you accidentally banged against the doorway. Looked like it hurt."

"Oh." You pause, looking down at the fresh set of finger shaper marks overtaking the fading violet.

You laugh airily, "Yeah it's alright."

#toxic eren #eren yeager x reader #eren yeager x reader fanfiction #eren yeager x toxic reader #manipulative eren #tw manipulation #tw yelling #tw gaslighting #attack on titan fanfiction #eren yeager x y/n

286 notes · View notes

goldenkirstein · 3 years

Text

drunk aot boys hc's

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

anonymous requested: Hey Raf, can I request some headcanons about what type of drunk Jean, Eren and Armin are and how they act when drunk, both in general and around their s/o? And you know, if they know their limits or don’t care because they enjoy being drunk and stuff. I just had this really random thought of Jean starting to give compliments to EVERYONE (and Eren is so weirded out when Jean tells him how soft his hair looks) and now I can’t stop wondering what they’d be like so yeah 😂

pairing: jean x gn! reader, eren x gn! reader, armin x gn! reader

wc: 1.3k+

tags: fluff, suggestive content, mentions of alcohol, vomiting, violence/aggression,

a/n: kind of got a little suggestive, but there's no smut. hope you enjoy reading, thank you for the request !!

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

armin arlert:

He knows his limit, and on most days, he won’t drink past that, but sometimes on particularly stressful days, Armin thinks, one more drink won’t hurt. That thought is what gets him in trouble.

Usually, he’s easy to fluster when he is sober, but drunk Armin? Everyone is shocked at how unabashedly confident he is.

It does not matter if he has a s/o or not; he will be giggly and touchy and has no filter.

He gets very flushed, rosy cheeks and all.

Eren and Mikasa are unfazed by this; they have seen Armin drunk, but the others are shell-shocked when Armin starts singing back the lewd lyrics they use on him. He whispers them in your ear, and you have to pretend that he isn’t affecting you.

He begins making concoctions that will get him plastered and has to be physically restrained because:

Although it’s fun for him to forget about his worries for a night, he cannot handle his alcohol.

He wakes up with the worst hangovers, says that he will never drink again, which is a lie, but it’s a simple reassurance for the time being.

If everyone thinks he’s flirty and touchy when he’s with them, it just becomes dialed up to 100 when he is with you.

Usually, he gets blushy when you compliment him, but if they try it when he’s drunk? He will dish it back to them ten times worse.

“Yeah, I look pretty? You look even prettier when your clothes are-” “I know I did not hear Armin say what he just said to you. Who knew Arlert had such a foul mouth on him.”

He wants to be touching you 24/7; he’ll lean against you and quietly hum whatever song is playing, and if you push him off to go somewhere, he’ll get whiney and try to follow you wherever you are going.

He’s the type to wait for you outside the bathroom and continue talking to you, that is, if he can’t come inside.

He will try to kiss you, and drunk Armin kisses are almost always sloppy and messy, and as much as you try to push him away, he will end up landing a couple of kisses on your cheek and mouth-’adjacent’ area (his aim is kind of off).

Everyone likes going out to get drinks with him, he’s just fun to be around, and they also love seeing him enjoy himself for once and not worry about everyone else.

eren jaeger:

He is not a lightweight, but like Armin doesn’t get drunk often.

As such, he is usually assigned to taking care of the rest of them.

However, on the rare night where Eren does indulge, he becomes so reckless.

Eren will try to fight everyone, mostly Jean, though. It’s the worst when both of them are drunk and throwing punches (albeit missing most of them).

He will loop you in to participate in his antics, which almost always end up with him on the floor, and you need to pick him up and kiss him better (he plays his injuries up like a drama queen, just to secure a few more of those kisses).

He does get hungover the next day, but he doesn’t mind it too much because it happens so rarely.

Everyone is on high alert when it comes to drunk Eren because nine times out of ten, he is a danger to himself and occasionally can land a pretty mean punch.

One of the things he loves to do before he gets too drunk is to grab your jaw tilt it back to look at him, with a teasing glint in his eyes. He’ll wink at you and pour whatever he’s drinking down your throat and then gently close your mouth. If some of the drink spills from your lips, he’ll lean in and lick it up off your chin before kissing you and walking away to get another drink for himself.

When he’s wasted, he is not nearly as smooth, but Eren still thinks he is. He’ll try to talk to you up, but it’s just slurred words, with a crooked smile he thinks is a smirk.

He won’t be as touchy as Armin is, but there are a good few times where his arms are hooked around your neck, and he’s got you in a bear hug, mumbling, “everyone sucks; they made me get off the bar top, ‘m not talking ‘bout you though, you’re perfect.”

At some point, he does need to be tied up because he doesn’t know when to stop, and he will run away with his drinks if someone tries to take them from him.

When you try to take him home, he won’t recognize that it’s you, and he’ll just keep saying, “I have a partner, and even though you are very pretty, I’m a loyal man.” You just need to wait till he’s almost passed out because he’ll keep up this act as long he’s conscious.

Everyone enjoys his presence, but he can get quite out of control, so he taps out most of the time before he can get too drunk.

Jean Kirstein:

He doesn’t know his limit and, more often than not, crosses it; compared to the other two, he gets drunk more often.

Like Armin, he is a very flirty drunk, but he’s also super sloppy and has no filter whatsoever; he will say the first thing that pops into his mind.

He gets into fights with Eren, mostly because Eren provokes him, but in the same vein, he ends up complimenting Eren, something he would be caught dead doing if he was sober.

“You know what, jaeger? Your hair looks soft, I’ve been trying to figure out what to use for months, and I just can’t figure out your secret.” “Is this some new defensive technique you picked up? How am I supposed to hit you now?”

He genuinely thinks he’s the most competent person in the room, but he’s spewing out gibberish, and you don’t want to hurt his feelings, so you nod and pretend to understand him. Jean thinks his drunk babbling is what’s going to bring total world peace.

Nights with him always end up with Jean puking and spending the rest of the night in your lap, with you running your fingers through his hair. If you dare move your hand from his head, he’ll pout and take your hand and put it back on his head and won’t budge until he feels your fingers against his scalp.

Terrible hangovers; he doesn’t want to speak to anyone and spends the entire day in bed.

He becomes super affectionate with his friends and you. Jean’s a sweet man, but he doesn’t let anyone get to see his vulnerable side, so when he’s drunk, he lets everyone know what he thinks about them.

When Armin isn’t drinking, Jean is usually the one who tries to fluster him the most. When he succeeds, he’ll turn his attention to you and try to make you squirm.

Jean ends up confessing many things when he’s drunk; he tells you that he loves you for the first time when he’s drunk. The following morning, he acts like he doesn’t remember; Jean does, though and ends up properly telling you that he loves you later in the day.

His having no filter and his wayward confessions are also how he gets into fights with Eren. Jean lands a few good punches, but he tires himself out and just opts to hug Eren and tell him how much he appreciates him, despite Eren’s stubbornness.

Everyone loves having him around, but they have to watch out when he gets sappy or look out for him puking (he has ruined a good amount of furniture).

a/n: i hope you enjoyed this !! any feedback is appreciated i don't drink bshshs so i hope this sounded sorta realistic idk, i'm getting through the last couple of my requests now :)

taglist: @c0urtn3y, @depressedbisexual, @dai-tsukki-desu, @clean-soap, @nevcrmxre, @conniesspringersgf, @glittrkink

click here to join my taglist

As always, please leave a like/reblog if you enjoyed this, I appreciate it lots <33

789 notes · View notes

titanicsimp · 3 years

Note

Hello there! What would be some of the AOT boys' reactions to stumbling upon their crush (reader) playing the piano? Maybe something like Claire De Lune? It can be in the canonverse 🤗 thank you so much!

Also I just want to say that your writing is incredible, and you write all the characters SO spot on! Keep up the great work! 💕

Thank you so much for your kind words, I’m really glad I can do the characters justice!

I’m an absolute uncultured swine when it comes to music but I did some research so I hope this is what you wanted 🥰🥰

AOT men walking in on their crush playing the piano (includes; Eren, Armin, Jean, Connie, Levi, Erwin, Zeke, Reiner, Porco, Colt)

cw: none

a/n: This got kinda long so I put it under a cut!

Armin Arlert

Arabesque, No. 1 in E major by Claude Debussy

The soft notes of the piano fit well with the polished corridors of Mitras palace, and Armin couldn’t help but be drawn in by the sound. The music was gentle yet upbeat, a stark contrast with what had just been discussed in the dreadful meetings he had to attend.

A smile graces his face when he cracks the door of the music room further open, finding you at the seat of the piano. You look beautiful, your lips curved up slightly as your fingers dance over the keys. You look content, lost in your own happy tune, and Armin can’t help but be relieved that you have found a moment for yourself. He doesn’t want to interrupt, he just wants to stand and listen to you play, leaning against the doorway. He lets his head fall back against the frame and closes his eyes, letting you carry him away to a world of wonder through the music.

Eren Yeager

Metamorphosis: Three by Philip Glass

Eren had been surprised to be woken up by music. He shuffled over to the room where the sound seemed to originate from, only to find you. It almost seemed like you expected him, your gaze pointedly meeting his before you returned your attention to the piano. Eren did not have a lot of sense for music, but he could tell that your talent deserved much more than that run down thing.

“Bit somber, isn’t it?” He comments but you shake your head.

“Not necessarily, listen.”

He moves closer as you continue playing the song, and soon he finds out why you wanted him to listen. The somber tones get shifted to louder, more excited ones, giving the tune a more hopeful feel to it. He looks at you as you guide the music through its ups and lows, and a shiver runs over his spine every time he catches your eye. It’s like you see through him, he’s always felt that way, that’s why he took a liking to you to begin with. Though you aren’t telling him it explicitly, he understands what the song means for both of you.

Jean Kirstein

Liebestraume S541/R211: No. 3 Nocturne in E flat major by Franz Liszt & Jenö Jandó

Jean had just been wandering around, lost in thought, when he heard someone playing the piano. None of the scouts played piano as far as he knew, making him wonder if it was perhaps a Marleyan making use of the music room. He was pleasantly surprised to find out that you were the one playing. Your eyes closed, focusing intently on the tune of every key your fingers hit. Though he could watch you like this forever, he needs to come closer. “Wow.”

“How come you never told me you play piano?”

He smiles when you look up at him bashfully. “It had been so long, I wasn’t sure if I could anymore...”

“It sounds amazing, you have talent.” Jean tells you and comes to stand next to the piano.

You continue playing under his watchful eye, a smile playing at your lips. He enjoys the song, and jokingly starts ball dancing by himself, commenting that beautiful music should be danced to. You chuckle at him clumsily dancing with the air, your chest warming at the sight.

Connie Springer

Forever, forever by Keiko Matsui

Connie can’t help but feel slightly offended that you never told him, but as he watches you play from the open window, he can’t stay mad. He pulls himself up on the frame, startling you when he drops into the room. Throwing his hands up, he grins. “Sorry.”

You shake your head but smile, returning your attention to the piano. Slowly, you pick up the song again, and Connie makes sure to listen closely. The tune feels loving, and a blush graces his cheeks as he hopes that perhaps it’s him you are thinking of while playing.

“Can I sit with you?” He questions softly and you nod your head.

Seeing your face from so close as he sits on the bench with you makes his heart skip beats. It’s nice to see you so content, it’s the only way he wants you to be.

Levi Ackerman

Claire de Lune by Claude Debussy

Levi was determined to find out where you sneaked off to while you should be cleaning with them, glaring at the thought of how he should scold you for it. When he found you, the infall of sunlight playing so beautifully across your skin, sweet notes resonating throughout the room, he stopped in his tracks. Levi has a great appreciation for fine, sophisticated things, and you playing the piano with the sun setting behind you must be the epitome of it.

Your eyes widen when you realize he’s there, your hands stopping their movements. Levi scowls at you. “Keep playing.” He tells you commandingly.

Worried that you’ll be punished more severely if you don’t, you start again. You had thought he would be furious to find you slacking during cleaning duties, but as soon as you continued playing his face turned soft. He enjoyed it, taking a seat in a vacant chair and even leaning back slightly. As he listened to your song, he could imagine himself doing this more often, hearing you play and seeing you so delicately working the instrument, perhaps with some tea next time. It was alright that you snuck off this time, he supposed, hiding his smile behind his hand as he was glad he didn’t have to scold you.

Erwin Smith

Nocturnes: No. 1, Molto Moderato, in E flat major by Frédéric Chopin & John Field

It was rare to find a house with luxuries at this area, never mind one that has been abandoned and probably raided countless times. As you run your hand over the dusty piano lid, you wonder if it could possibly still work.

Erwin had just entered the room when you have propped the lid up and sit down on the piano bench. His eyes widen when you start playing a tune, one that for some reason sound familiar. You smile, playing more excitedly. “Seems like it has survived fairly well.” Some of the notes aren’t what they used to be, but it’s a miracle nonetheless.

The more the song carries on, he realizes where he’s heard it before. A friend of his father played the piano and he had played this song before. His admiration for you had already been great for the longest time, but this just increased it even more. Erwin had been no good at instruments himself, yet you played like it was your second nature. He makes a plan for himself to find a piano when the two of you return, wanting to hear more of your hidden talent.

Zeke Yeager

Gnossiennes |-||-||| (1890) by Erik Satie

People rarely came to this part of the wing, and since Zeke’s usual spot was closed off, he decided to go have a smoke on the balcony of the old music room. When he heard someone entering, he observed curiously, watching you sneak in. You pulled off the cover of off the grand piano, letting the sheet fall to the floor. He took drags from his cigarette, narrowed eyes watching your every move from a distance. It was always nice to see you, but what were you doing here?

You play some notes, testing yourself before you take a deep breath. Zeke’s cigarette drops from his lips as soon as you start playing. You carry the tune flawlessly and even he can tell its brimming with emotion. Where the hell had you been hiding this talent?

He listens patiently till you finish your song. He isn’t the best at judging emotions, but from the glances he catches of the side of your face, it seems that you are pouring your frustrations into it.

When you finish, he walks in, closing in on you from behind and putting his hands on your shoulders. You recognize who it is instantly as he leans forward, the scent of smoke carrying from his lips.

“It’s not fair to keep a talent like this hidden.” His hands rub at your shoulders and you feel pride swell in your chest. “Dedicate a song to me?” He asks playfully.

Reiner Braun

Nuvole Bianche by Ludovico Einaudi

Reiner feels ashamed that he didn’t know when he walks in on you playing the piano. He looks away in embarrassment when your eyes catch his. “Excuse me.” He says, already turning back to the door.

“Reiner!”

You stop playing. “This... it’s a new song I’ve learned. Can you stay and tell me if it sounds right?”

He turns back to you, your face showing that you are being earnest. Nodding his head, he strides over to you.

You tap the spot on the bench next to you with your hand and he sits down with a tiny smile.

You go back to the beginning, turning your sheet music accordingly. His gaze goes from your face to your hands as you play. Your fingers move over the keys so lightly, and something about it just makes him want to hold your hand. He holds himself back, not wanting to mess up the beautiful song you are creating.

When you are done, you ask him what he thought. “It was beautiful.” He tells you, beautiful like everything else you do.

Porco Galliard

Prelude in G minor Op. 23/5 by Sergei Rachmaninoff

Porco expected to find some stuffy man playing the piano, which is the case at most of these ‘prestige’ events, but instead he found you. “What the fuck?”

You shoot him a glare, trying your hardest to stay focused on your play. “Don’t throw me off, asshole.”

He doesn’t want to throw you off, he’s just baffled. It’s astounding that the same person who throws him in the dirt during every training is the same as the polished one he sees in front of him right now. From the way you play, there’s no doubt that you must have been doing this for a long time. He vaguely remembers you telling him that you used to take piano lessons, but he had no idea that you now did it professionally. As he watches you play, your eyes cast down to the keys and fingers moving across the length of the board at a rapid pace, he has to admit there’s something charming about it. He grins to himself, the night will be far more entertaining and pleasant on the eye than he had expected.

Colt Grice

Rêverie by Claude Debussy

Colt at first thinks he must be dreaming. The music, your radiant face, it fits right in. He’s not though, instead he has just stumbled onto yet another trait that makes him love you more. You take tiny glances at him as you play and he can tell you are happy he’s here. His palms feel sweaty and his cheeks heat up as he realizes how perfect of a moment it would be if he confessed his feelings now. If he could, he would blurt it out, but he can’t. Instead he continues watching you, building the courage inside him bit by bit.

Noticing that you are cracking your neck quite often, Colt comes over to stand behind you. He’s gentle as he touches your shoulders, seeing if you don’t move away from him before he massages your sore muscles. Little sighs pass by your lips as you continue playing your song, letting your head fall back when it’s finished.

“Thank you, I’m not used to playing for longer times anymore.” You sigh, putting one hand over his.

He flushes at your touch. “You play beautifully, so thank you for letting me hear it..”

#eren x reader #armin x reader #jean x reader #connie x reader #erwin x reader #levi x reader #zeke x reader #reiner x reader #porco x reader #colt x reader #headcanons #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot headcanons #eren yeager #levi ackerman #Reiner Braun

572 notes · View notes

xtodorcki · 3 years

Text

“Betrayal,” Pt. 2 Levi x Reader

Summary: after being tortured and accused for a crime you didn’t commit, it changed you in ways you didn’t think was possible

Warnings: none, maybe like a bit of torture

PART ONE

It’s been a few weeks since the incident with the MPs, your wounds have healed into scars and everything was now fully healed.

The few scars on your face had made you insecure and felt as if they were ugly. The scar on your cheek, the one below your lips and one on your forehead. They weren’t all that big but to you it felt like they were huge.

Levi had assured you time and time again that the scars made you look just as beautiful but you couldn’t help but get flashbacks every time you looked at any of your scars that were on your body.

The way your blood would boil at the constant reminders of what they did to you. The way you wanted to murder all of them in cold blood, it made your skin hot just thinking about it.

Your nightmares had continued, every night to be exact. They never stopped, they were a constant cycle over and over and over.

Levi has tried his best to be your support system and even though he’s noticed a few changes in your behavior, he assumed you were fine since you continued being your clingy and affectionate self when you were around him.

But deep down you had a huge amount of rage and hatred that wanted to spill out of your body. You’ve kept everything inside and locked away, only for his sake and to not worry him any longer.

But one night you laid in bed beside Levi, his arm tightly around your waist and his breathing fanning over the nape of your neck as he slept peacefully.

Your mind was clouded and you suddenly forgot about everything, your mind set on one thing- the military police.

You had slipped out of bed carefully, sneaking out of the base in your hood and ODM gear as you tried to get your mind off of things as you flew through the quiet empty town, settling on top of a roof.

You look down at your reflection in the blade, your fingertips just barely brushing over your scars and suddenly your mind had switched to defensive mode like you were a robot.

The way your feet had moved without even realizing and you snuck into one of the MPs houses, the one that had caused you the most pain.

Your head had tilted, watching him sleep. He looked peaceful for such a coward, you were sick just looking at him. When you walked closer, the floorboard creaking just loud enough to wake him up and you pointed the blade at his face.

“Don’t make a sound or else this will be going straight through your neck.” You threatened, his eyes wide and full of fear.

He stared at you, instantly recognizing your face, you weren’t hard to remember especially considering you were a scout dating the famous Captain but the main reason why he knew you is because he spent so much time torturing you.

“What do you want?” He said barely above a whisper, his lips quivering as he spoke.

“What do I want? Hm, what do I want? How about some fucking peace.” You started off, your feet making their way closer to where he laid and you ran the blade down to his chest.

“For once, I don’t want to fucking think about the cowards who punished me for nothing. Who tortured me to no end because they assumed. What a bunch of fucking idiots that people put their trust in to protect them, huh?” You laughed at his face, pressing the blade just enough to draw blood and he winced but shut his mouth when you stood in front of him over the bed.

“Is this some kind of sick revenge fantasy that you have? You think you’re going to get away so easily?”

“Yes and yes. Unlike you, I know how to hide a body.” You whispered the last part, in an instant you flung your blade and sliced it through his throat like butter, watching the blood gush out, splattering everywhere in the room and hearing his gasps for breath.

“Have fun in hell.” You pushed him down on the bed, watching the life drain from his eyes.

After you were done cleaning the mess you had made, you snuck back inside the base and went inside the bedroom where Levi still slept. You glanced down at your bloody clothes and cursed to yourself as you dug through the drawers for some clean clothes.

“Y/N?” You froze, your eyes wide and your hands already beginning to shake as you heard him shuffling behind you.

“Stop.” You said, making him stop from getting up off the bed and he rubbed his eyes as he tried to focus them on you.

“Why? What are you doing?” He leaned over, turning on the bedside lamp and before you could say anything, the light was on and shined up the room clearly.

You hung your head low, your back facing him but he noticed the spots of blood on your clothes and instantly ran to where you were, thinking you were injured.

When he flung you around, he stopped in his spot and stared down at the bloody clothes you wore and his eyes moved up to meet your gaze.

“What- what happened? Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Why is there blood on you?”

Within seconds, tears started streaming down your face and he grabbed onto you, embracing you in a tight hug. He knew deep down what you had done but he didn’t want to speak up about it, all he did was comfort you.

As your mind was set back to the harsh reality of what you did and what happened, you couldn’t help but cry into his shoulder and listen to him mumbling soft words in your ears, reminding you just how precious you truly are.

“It’s okay, look at me.” He cupped your cheeks, brushing the tears away and stared down at your eyes, full of fear and emptiness.

“It’s okay, I’ll clean everything up and no one isn’t going to know a thing, alright? This will be our secret.” He whispered, the pained expression on his face had made you want to die- the last thing you wanted to do was drag Levi into your mess.

“I already got rid of everything except this outfit.” You managed to stumble out between your sniffles, making him nod his head.

“Okay good, take them off and throw them in a bag. I’ll burn them tomorrow, okay?” He tried to be as soft as possible, grabbing the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head.

Your tears had stopped but your red puffy eyes continued to stare at him as he helped take off your clothes, throwing them in a bag and you sucked in a sharp breath.

The next day had rolled around quick, you had stayed in bed from the overbearing guilt you felt and Levi was happy to take the day off again and help you deal with it, trying his best to keep you happy.

He kept you in his arms, your head on his chest and his hands rubbing soothing circles on your back as you stared at the wall, deep into thought.

“I want them all dead, Levi.” You said without even realizing what had fell from your lips, his eyes glancing down at you and he nodded.

“I know, I want them dead too, believe me.” He brushed the strands of hair back from your face and he caressed your cheek.

“I’m sorry for dragging you into this, it isn’t fair. I just wanted them to feel the way I did and I just wanted this overbearing pain to leave my body and it did while I watched him die, I felt relieved.” You admitted, your sad eyes meeting his and he completely understood.

The amount of people Levi had killed in his past has been way too many, the pain and the guilt weighing him down but the way he felt better when he got rid of the people who didn’t deserve to live- it made him feel somewhat normal.

“Don’t be sorry, I’ll always support you.. you know how many people I’ve killed? You’re not getting rid of me.” He chuckled, making you smile up at him and thought about the times he had gone off the deep end.

“If you need help with the rest of the guards, I’ll do it.” He fully admitted, his thumb rubbing over the scar on your cheek.

“Why would I want to drag you further into this?”

“You’re not. You’re my world, I’m not going to let you go through it alone. I’ll kill them all.” He shook his head, pressing his lips to your forehead then pulling back to look at you before he spoke again.

“No matter what.”

Here’s part two to betrayal like y’all having been askinnnnng. Hope you enjoyed it.

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

#levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman imagine #levi ackerman imagines #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman headcanons #levi Ackerman #levi imagines #levi fanfic #levi headcanons #levi x reader #aot headcanons #aot imagines

560 notes · View notes

f3296 · 3 years

Text

Hi I just feel like I need to ramble and maybe some one else out there feels the same way. So in the AOT I’m not all that big on ships just because shipping really isn’t my thing but I do enjoy it to an extent. I consider myself to be a multi shipper because again the relationships in AOT are so complex and I love all the characters and their dynamics. My biggest “ship” would be Eurihan just because that trio to me is all sorts of fun and I love their dynamic.

But with that being said, I find myself to be drifting farther and farther away from the Eruri aspect just because as I continue to reread the manga and pay attention to the themes of the story canonically speaking I don’t actually see any “romance” between them. The Fannon concepts of Eruri are fun and beautifully tragic with the fan arts and stories especially in modern AU. They are a very attractive couple and I fully understand the hype but canonically speaking I just don’t see it anymore. I love their dynamic as a whole and brings such a complex look to both Levi and Erwins character that their friendship is something to admire.

And with that being said I feel their complexity of characters and their story gets lost within the fandom. I think the term that is used is “shipping goggles” when canon stuff of the original story gets lost or replaced for the sake of the ship. Which in this case I feel happens a lot in Eruri specifically.

Now I really don’t want people to feel I am bashing Eruri. I’m obviously a fan with my own fan art and my interactions with mutuals so please no one take offense. This is just a quirk I have in every fandom when canon material gets lost for the sake of a ship.

Specifically with Levi.

Now I understand my biases consider Levi is my favorite character and I truly Kin him. But when I watch edits or read DJs or even just scrolling through things like tumblr or Twitter I find myself avoiding the Eruri tags because I get so frustrated when all I see if Levi’s entire character being based around Erwin. The concept that Levi is only alive to fulfill Erwins promise or he only fights for Erwin and completely derailing his character to be centered around Erwin is frustrating.

Levi fights for all the scouts since the very beginning. When else first meet him and he promises the dying scout he would eradicate the Titans, this is a shared dream the scouts had and has said he will do what he can for All of them. Not just Erwin.

Now this isn’t to disregard Erwins importance to Levi. Erwin gave him a purpose to live, he was his friend and trusted comrade and felt he was the best for humanity. Erwin is important to Levi no one is saying other wise. He just isn’t the center of Levi’s world.

Levi trusted Erwin because he saw something bigger than himself and Levi wanted to help Erwin get there because Levi himself if a very loving and selfless character. This I find to be so beautiful of Levi’s (and mikasas) character.

When Levi learns the truth behind Erwins actions and his selfish reasons to fight for humanity was for the sake of seeing in the basement really sent Levi into turmoil. (I feel this is WITs fault for not expressing this properly in the anime) this is why he continued to pester and push Erwin to know his motives past the basement, because Levi wanted to believe he was this selfless leader he had been finessed into believing he was (because we can’t forget canonically speaking Erwin is a con man and enjoys gambling which makes him and great leader)

Levi tells Erwin to die so he would continue to go down with the facade he was a selfless leader and to continue to live up to the expectation. Levi accepted this fault of Erwin just as he had accepted the faults of all his comrades and their selfish actions.

Levi was canonically devoted to Erwin, but not in the romantic way.

Erwin also never expressed a “interest” in Levi in that matter outside of their friendship and Levi’s abilities. It also should keep in mind that Erwin was ultimately in love with Marie, and chose not to have a family and a wife (which he actually wanted) to avoid having a widow. We can head cannon all day long about how “he realized in his last moments” or “behind the scenes” or interpreting smart press stories a certain way to fit the narrative but it’s just important to remember the difference between cannon material and your own HCs.

Now I know a lot of people will read this and think “wow a levihan shipper wrote this” and you would be right I also ship levihan as well. And they are also not cannon in a relationship as well but the romantic implications for them specifically cannot be ignored because you don’t like them. Levi and Hange are canonically best friends. They are known as the “abnormals” of the scouts. They know each other the best. Their relationship is so complex it cannot be defined as a friendship. (Even Moblit admits he doesn’t have a bond with Hange like Levi does) and it’s okay if you just see them as friends, and I honestly don’t blame a lot of people who do considering WIT really bit the bullet with missing key Levi and Hange moments to better fit their dynamic (I’ve seen people say they aren’t even good friends and that breaks my heart they are besties )

And honestly why wouldn’t you want to ship levihan? This ship in my opinion is the least problematic with the least controversy to it. It’s comforting and sweet and gives a sense of love and family. It’s literally a best friends-> lovers trope. Their friendship is what makes this ship in my opinion so pure and honestly why I fall in love with it more everyday.

And I know some will say “what about Moblit?” And honestly, it bothers me how much he is used to argue levihan because I ultimately feel his character also gets dumbed down as a default for Hange just for shipping and it bothers me too.

*and honestly guys Hange and Moblit isn’t even that great in a ship since considering Moblit became an anxious alcoholic trying to take care of Hange and Hange would get so caught up with their work they wouldn’t even notice. NOTE: they obviously cared for each other as comrades and Moblit felt Hange was needed for humanities survival and cared for them obviously but just my opinion I don’t see that ship working in my opinion.

But in reality guys, I never saw any of these characters “getting together” because they’re soldiers. Their hearts were dedicated to the cause of saving humanity first so that’s the beauty of AOT and the ambiguity of the characters relationships with one another because ultimately they all have attributes to love and benefit each other. Even with the forest scene and the plane for Levi and Hange, I never expected A “happy ending” for them in the sense of platonic or romantic because that doesn’t fit their canon narratives. Levi was destined to be the last soldier standing and brings the complexity of being the perfect soldier with a human heart.

*though the implication of romantic feelings never being acted on were there because they indeed paralleled with eren and mikasa

Levi’s literally means “attached” he attaches himself to the people he cares about and dedicated his strength and ability to help others gain their hopes and dreams.

Erwin tragically lost his humanity to become the devil for the sake of humanity which ultimately left him fruitless to his venture.

Hange taking on the burden of making the tough decisions and shouldering the weight of the deaths of the soldiers and Erwins legacy left them feeling loss and useless until their sacrifice.

All these characters have such complexity to them, they are all deeper than their fannon ship and should be appreciated and the narrative shouldn’t be shifted for the sake of a ship.

Levi didn’t fight to the end for just Erwin he did it for all of them.

So again, sorry for my rambles and I hope there will be those who read this and understand where I am coming from with this and understand though I will continue to ship all three, it still makes me sad I feel I can’t interact with some without them destroying entire characters for the sake of the ship.

So again love ships not ship wars. That’s the fun part when ships aren’t cannon you can just mix and match whenever you feel like it ❤️❤️

#levihan #I’m only tagging levihan just because I feel Eruris might hurt me lol #erurihan

199 notes · View notes

strangerivy · 3 years

Text

The Time Levi Got Jealous

Request: @iamhowieson Hey! Just wondering if I could make a request for a Levi Ackerman x reader. I thought that maybe the reader and Levi had a fight the night before which seriously hurt the readers feelings. then the reader tried to make him jealous, which turned out very successfully and then Levi ends up apologising and then they forgive each other. Probably with a nice cute ending but you can spin it however you like! You don’t have to do this request if you don’t want too. Warnings: Swearing Pairings: Levi Ackerman x Reader (y/n) Genre: 18+ | Fluff | Tiny amounts of Angst Word Count: 1.9K Author’s Note: I really hope this is what you were looking for and I am sorry it took so long! 😊 💜

|| Masterlist | AOT Masterlist ||

The day had been going wonderfully, you had woken up on time which was honestly a miracle. You had a good breakfast and training with the squad was probably the most successful yet. It was a great day. Until you saw the sight in front of you.

You and Petra were on the way back to your shared room after training going over what parts went great and what part you two could improve on as a team when you rounded a corner to see something you wish you hadn’t. Levi was standing there watching over the recently joined Cadets and one of them seem to be too friendly with the captain for your liking. Now you know you didn’t technically have the right to get as angry as you are, seeing as you and Levi had never discussed what your relationship was. But it was also no secret that you two were more than friends. His mouth turned up into a smirk at something she said which only deepened the frown on your face, the girl twirling her hair between her fingers.

“Y/n?” Petra asked a few paces ahead of you, noticing you were no longer following, she followed your gaze and gave you a sympathetic look, “I’m sure it's nothing,” She tried to comfort, your eyes broke away as you felt them begin to water.

“Yeah, your probably right,” You smiled forcing the tears down, she had to be, Levi would not actually do something like that. Right?

You took a deep breath as you stood outside his office, you decided you were going to ask him about the girl and what you saw in a calm manner after having time to calm down. You went to open the door, but it was opened suddenly causing you to stumble forward almost hitting the person exiting. You caught yourself on the door frame looking up at the person to see it was that same girl shooting down a smirk at you.

You watched her walk down the hall with a little too much pep in her step for your liking, you watched till she disappeared down another hallway out of sight.

“Y/N,” Levi almost sounded surprised which only made your suspicion grow, you snapped your head to him looking him up and down. He seemed fine, his clothes weren’t wrinkled in any way and his hair was laid flat nicely. You stepped in closing the door behind you.

“Who’s that?” You asked walking closer to him but still kept a distance. He raised an eyebrow at your odd behavior, usually, you would be smiling when you walked in already talking about your day bring a brightness to the room that you carried everywhere with you. But tonight, was different, something was bothering you.

“She’s just one of the new cadets, seems promising,” He answered, you nodded you turned to leave not really wanting to hang around tonight, the exhaustion of your worries hitting you. It seemed like a better idea just to ignore, easier at least.

“What’s going on with you?” Levi asked just as you grabbed ahold of the doorknob.

“Nothing,” You answered much too quickly and he let out a snort.

“It’s obviously not nothing,” He stated, you turned to face him with a frown going to speak but stopping just before the words left your tongue, he was growing frustrated now. “Well go on, spit it out,”

“I saw you earlier with her and she was just- all over you,” You finally answered not able to make eye contact at him, he let out another annoyed scoff making you look at him as he shook his head.

“That’s what has you so worked up?” He asked his tone making your worries sound more of a nuisance. He clicked his tongue sitting back down at his desk. “I didn’t think you were the possessive type,” This made you frown, you weren’t being possessive, you were just concerned. Especially after the look, that cadet gave you leaving his office.

“I’m not being possessive, I was just –“

“So clingy then?” He cut you off, deepening your frown and furrowing your eyebrows as your temper rose. You opened his office door getting ready to leave before you looked at him once again to see if he would stop you, but he didn’t, just kept his eyes down at his papers that he was working on.

“I was just stating a concerned Levi, you didn’t need to be an ass about it,” You spat shutting the door before he could respond.

You didn’t sleep well the night before and you did your best to not show it, though your eyes did have a slight bag to them. You let out a yawn at breakfast drinking your morning tea with Petra and the others. Levi walked in greeting the table before turning to greet you, but you turned away from him getting up to head out to the training course for the day. It was your turn to train some of the new Cadets.

You leaned up against a post letting out another yawn as you watched the Cadets go through Hand-to-Hand combat.

“Y/N,” You heard your name turning towards the voice to see your old squad mate when you first joined the Scouts, Peter.

“Hey!” You beamed giving him a tight hug, “How have you been? I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you!”

“Good actually just stopping at HQ to drop off a report and thought I would stop by,” He smiled, you had always thought he was charming when you were back in the Cadets training, all the girls swooning over him. You were surprised he choose the Scouts and not the MP’s when the time came.

“They still have you out surveying along the wall?” You asked curiously.

“Of course, I’ll have every damn brick memorized at this rate,” He joked, and you let out a small chuckle. “How are things with the special ops squad, heard you have got yourself quite the kill count!” He nudged you with your elbow and you felt your cheeks up with a shy blush, you weren’t one to brag about accomplishments so when others did you always got embarrassed. You turned your attention back to the cadets making sure they were slacking off without you looking.

“Things are going good, I guess. I’ve been thinking ab- Oh Captain Levi!” You and Peter stood straight saluting to Levi as he walked up to you, you were still mad at him, so you avoided meeting his eyes, crossing your arms in front of you turning your eyes back to the cadets pretending to watch them. When he finally reached you, he eyed you waiting to see if you would acknowledge his presence further than the formal greeting, when he realized you weren’t you noticed his demeanor changed slightly as he looked up at Peter with a deadly glare.

“Are you supposed to be here Cadet?” He asked with a sharp tone, Peter tensed shaking his head.

“Sorry Sir, I was just stopping by to-“

“I didn’t ask for an explanation,” Levi cut him off, Peter gulped from nerves and you honestly felt bad for him.

“No Sir, I’m not,” Peter answered nervously, you raised an eyebrow at Levi as you watched the encounter through the corner of your eye. Levi was always a bit cold when it came to talking with others but never this intense.

“Then get the hell out of here,” Levi spat, and Peter was quick to turn on his heel leaving with a quick see ya to you as he left. “Enough training today! Your dismissed,” Levi shouted at the Cadets not taking his eyes off you as you still refused to look at him. You felt small under his gaze, you could feel your body heating up wishing that someone would come out needing you for something. Where was Hange when you needed her?

Once the field was cleared and no one was around Levi reached out placing a finger under your chin guiding your head to face him but you kept your gaze at the ground. He took a step closer to you so there was almost no room between you. He leaned into your ear and you tensed when you felt his breath on your skin.

“Look at me,” He demanded pulling back and you flicked your gaze up at him, something about him was off right now. His slight frown the furrow in his brow. He looked annoyed dare you say maybe even jealous?

“What is it, Levi?” You asked trying to keep your emotionless expression to him, he smirked knowing the act wouldn’t work for long.

“Who was that?” He asked you, you rolled your eyes, and he didn’t like that grabbing onto your arm to drag you back inside, back to his office where you knew you would have no way of rejecting him, You wouldn’t be able to help yourself. You pulled your arm out of his grip and shot a smirk of your own.

“Are you jealous Levi?” You asked with a grin, his frown deepened. He took two large steps towards you grabbing you around the waist pulling you in, his other hand snaking into your hair pulling your lips to his kissing you with an intensity he’s never shown before out in the open like this. You were shocked, to say the least, but only for a moment before melting into him. Your knees going week your hands gripping onto the edges of his jacket pulling him impossibly closer.

When you finally broke for air both panting lightly as you stared at him, he softly smiled one that you rarely got to see.

“So, what if I am?” He quirked a brow up as kept his hold on your waist tight afraid you might slip away again and ignore him.

“I didn’t think you were the possessive type.” You smirked as you mimicked his words from the night before. He frowned leaning in to rest his head on yours.

“I’m sorry for that,” He apologized, you gave a small nod leaning in to give him a small peck.

“It’s okay,” You forgave him but you still felt uneasy, wanting clarification on what you two were. You both acted like a couple but is that what he saw this as? Levi noticed you still weren’t okay reach up cupping your cheek rubbing it softly with his thumb.

“What's going on in that head of yours?” he asked concern in his voice

You let out a breath “What are we?” Levi's eyes went wide and you could see the blush on his cheeks, it was cute seeing him get so bashful at the question. He dropped his hand reaching up to scratch his neck from the nerves.

“Well- I- I thought you would already know that-” He stuttered over his words that you couldn’t help but chuckle at the once stoic and battle-hardened Captain. He shot a glare at your soft giggles which only made you laugh more.

“Are we together, Levi? A couple?” You asked deciding to make it easier on him, He let out a groan before giving a soft nodded bring a smile to your lips as you pulled him into another kiss and you felt the smile on his lips as you did.

#levi attack on titan #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman attack on titan #levi ackerman fanfiction #LEVI ACKERMAN #Captain Levi #levi aot #petra #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction

315 notes · View notes

unloved-cadillac · 3 years

Note

aot manga spoilers⚠️

(angst prompt 2) 3 and 9

okay so armin has been cheating on the reader and feels so guilty he tells annie while she’s in her crystal not knowing she liked the reader and was listening the whole time so when she comes out she keeps it to herself but when she sees armin and the reader together she gets jealous she eventually tells reader and comforts them when they break up with armin (so basically an armin x reader that turns into annie x reader)

sorry if it’s to much and feel free to ignore

C/n: fuck it’s feels time! 🗣 MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD!!!Thanks for requesting and I hope that you enjoy🤍

——————————————————————————

Deserve Better. (Armin x Reader; Annie x Reader)

Armin sat in front of the giant crystal with his shell in his palms. His bright blue eyes flowing with tears as he confessed to all of his wrong doings.

“Annie, I don’t know how. I don’t know why I did it. Y/n is amazing. I just...I needed to release all of my stress and Y/n was always busy. I get it but I had needs. We hadn’t..you know in a while and I just needed that release. It’s been going on for two weeks. I need to stop. Y/n wouldn’t forgive me if they found out.” He sniffs and looks up to the “sleeping” girl. “Thanks for listening, Annie. I hope you wake up soon.” He finally says and gets up and goes outside, composing himself before going to see you.

Annie’s eyes shot open. The next day, her crystal was empty.

~~~~

You, Armin and a few others sat at a table eating pie while discussing some plans. Armin saw you had crumbs on your face and gently removed them. You smile and peck his lips as you continued to eat. Annie watched Armin fake a smile and affection and it pissed her off to the max. He didn’t deserve to do that. He didn’t deserve your love. Not after being unfaithful and lying straight to your face.

“Annie?!” Connie screams and points at her as she stops mid-chewing. You turn as well as Armin and your eyes widen. “Annie! You’re here! How? Are you okay?” You sit next to her as you dust her face and search her for injuries. In her head, Annie is hugging you and giving you many kisses across your beautiful face. But in reality, she just smiles and nods. “I’m okay.” She looks at Armin who smiles. “It’s good to see you, Annie.” He says and she nods. She couldn’t talk to him. Not after hearing all of the horrible things he did behind your back. She would lash out and cause a scene, something she really didn’t want to do.

“Annie, we should get you back home. Just so you could rest and recover. Please?” You say and hold her hands. Annie smiles and looks at your intertwined hands. “Ok.” She whispers and you hug her. Even though she was a the Female titan who gave you night terrors of the horrible expedition that happened all those years ago, she was still the girl who had your back no matter what. The girl that you befriended because she was one hell of a fighter.

Annie got up with you and Armin took your hand and walked ahead of her as they led her back to base. She saw so much of love in your eyes to the man who betrayed you. He didn’t deserve your unconditional love.

~~~~

A few days passed and Armin was away with Jean for a meeting. You volunteered to stay with Annie since she was still your closest friend and you hadn’t seen her for years. She sat on her bed as you sat across her, smiling.

“What, idiot?” She asks you and you chuckle. “Nothing. I’m just glad that you’re here. I visited you as often as I could, you know. Not as often as I liked though.” You scratch your head and avoid her gaze.

“I know.”

You lift your head up, wide eyed. “Huh? You knew?” Annie nods. “I..was conscious that entire time. I heard Hitch, you and..Armin.” She begins and you blink at her, shocked. “Wait. Really?” You ask and she nods again. “Y/n, Armin told me a lot of things. Things that he thought would go unheard by me. He was venting to me and he said some stuff that you should know.” Annie says and your eyebrows pull in.

“What things?”

Annie gets up and sits next to you. She reaches and takes her hand in yours and looks at you. “Armin had been cheating on you for a while. He went to a brothel in town and did all of those things. He said it was to relieve stress and to forget. Y/n, I know it isn’t my place to tell you but you really don’t deserve him. Not if he is doing all of this to you.” Annie concludes as she looked at your shocked face.

“T-Two weeks?” You stutter and she nods. “That’s all I know. I won’t make this up. Originally I had hope that he would come clean but to see him so lovey with you and it just made my blood boil.” She grips your hand a bit tighter. All you do is sigh and cry, using Annie’s shoulder. “Thank you, Annie. For telling me.” You say and kiss her cheek. Annie hoists you into her lap and hugs you. “You deserved to know.”

You wipe your tears away and wake up from her lap, heading to the door. “Where are you going?” She asks and you face her. “To end it. I’ll be back.”

~~~~

Armin was on his way back to base when he saw your figure in view. “Y/n, what are you-..” he gets cut off by your hand slapping his face. “You son of a bitch! First you lie about working late and then you go fuck another person behind my back?! What kind of a man are you?!” You shout and he looks at you. “How did-..” “I know? Annie told. That’s right. She was conscious all that time you confessed and she told me. The fact that I had to hear it from her not you just shows me how much of a coward you are!”

Armin’s eyes begin to fill with tears and reaches to hold. “Don’t.” You slap his hands away. “I wish I had never met you. That way I wouldn’t be so heartbroken right now.” You spit out and Armin falls to his knees. “Y/n. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what I was doing. I just felt so lost with this whole war and I know that isn’t an excuse but...” “No, Armin. You don’t get to defend yourself. Not after this.” You say and he bends his head down.

“I just...wasn’t enough, was I? We all were struggling with this war, but does that give you the right to cheat? You could’ve just talked to me. We would’ve taken a day off to relax. But no. You just took the easy way out instead of facing the problem.” You look at the top of his head as his shoulders shook as he cried. “I’m sorry.” He whispered and you scoff. “Me too. Goodbye Armin. It’s over.” You turn and walk away from him back to your room.

Annie sat on your bed, waiting for your return and when you did, you collapsed onto her lap and cried your heart out. Annie leaned over and rubbed your back until she heard your breathing even out and you slept on her. She fell back into the bed and slept with you until the next morning.

~~~~

You woke up from lying on Annie and rubbed your eyes. Annie was still knocked out and you smile at her. You yawned and got up from the bed. Annie heard you rustling and immediately woke up. “Hey. Sorry didn’t mean to wake you.” You say as you put on your jacket. “No it’s alright. How’d you sleep?” She asks you and you shrug your shoulders. “I’ve had better. Thanks for staying with me last night.” You walk over to her and kiss her forehead. When you pull away, you see Annie looking at your lips and few seconds later you feel hers on you.

Why didn’t you feel like this was wrong? Why did her first kiss with you feel one hundred times better than any of Armin’s?

You close your eyes as her hands cupped your face and yours wrapped around her. Annie pulled back and kissed your cheeks. “I’ve loved you for so long, Y/n.” She mumbles against your neck and you feel her crying. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t tell you what I was. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.” She whispers and you cup her face. “It’s alright, Annie. You’re not going to lose me. I love you.” You say and her face brightens.

Funny how the thing you needed was right in front of you this entire time.

~~~~

After the war, you held Annie tightly as she did too. She was so scared that she almost lost you. But you were okay and she was okay that was all that mattered.

You turn and see Armin who was on the floor crying as Mikasa walked away. You leave Annie for a little bit and walk to him. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and hug him.

“We’re okay, Armin. It’s over.” You say as he holds your hands. “I’m sorry, Y/n. I’m so fucking sorry.” “Shh. It’s okay. It’s all in the past now. All I want you to do now is heal. Promise me you’ll be okay? Promise me, Armin.” You tell him and he nods. “I promise. Have a good life, Y/n. You deserve it. You and Annie.”

“Yeah,” you turn and face her as she spoke with her dad,

“We will.”

——————————————————————————

“Have a good life.”

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.

#armin x reader #annie x reader #snk armin #annie leonhardt x reader #snk annie #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #aot fanfiction #aot x reader #armin alert x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin armin #annie leonhart imagine #annie snk

134 notes · View notes

yesokaythatsfine69 · 3 years

Text

Saving Grace

Description: Levi faces off against the female Titan but because of another recruit he is hurt. You must find him.

Characters: y/n, Levi, Hange, Jean, Eren, Mikasa

Warning(s): cursing, fluff

A/n: Hey guys, I've been on a binge of aot. Also there's a lot of x readers abt the reader getting hurt and Levi saving them, (I've written one) so I did the reverse of that. Also b sure to check out my HC's from my last post.

Word count:

Song: willow, by Taylor swift.

*none of the gifs used are mine, all credit goes to the maker.

You gripped the reins of your horse, your eyes flickering to the trees around you. Hange spoke beside you, roughly pulling the reigns of her house just to keep up with you. "Levi said he would meet us there, y/n." Yes, you remembered that. You also remembered vividly how he hadn't told you goodbye.

"y/n take the others to rendezvous with Hange's squad." Levi had been riding alongside you, much like Hange was now. He liked to keep close, usually never leaving your side. At his words you turned, eyes wide.

"Are you sure? We're-" He gave you a stern look, as if to remind you that he wasn't just 'levi' or 'captain frowny-face' he was 'Captain Levi.' you gripped your reins tighter and nodded, turning away from him. This wasn't apart of the plan, but captain asshole had heard something from behind you.

You were traveling with Eren, who was at the time unconscious, and several other cadets. Levi had been on edge, which made sense, neither of you were with your usual squad. And your greatest weapon was currently lying in an exhausted heap. "Victor, you're with me."

You gritted your teeth in shock and frustration. Why didn't he ask you to go with him? Victor was a new cadet. Shy. Tall. Fifteen years old, and awkward. He wasn't you. He also wasn't Levi's girlfriend, though.

You kept forward, even as you heard both Levi and Victor zip away. Bitterness made you focused. Neither of you said goodbye, as if you hadn't known and cared for each other deeply.

Now, you were riding back into the woods, facing the opposite direction. This exact situation reminded you of the time Levi and Mikasa had chased down the female Titan to rescue Eren. He came back with a broken ankle. That had been bad enough.

Levi missed the checkpoint. You waited long enough, and made to leave. Hange stopped you and invited herself along. You didn't ask why.

"I don't understand where the hell he could be." You said finally, stopping your horse. "Usually you can hear odm gear if the woods are quite enough." Hange stopped beside you. The woods were quite enough, yes. A few bird calls here and there. But there was no hissing of odm gear or thuds of titans.

Again you gritted you teeth. "Levi!"

--------------------------------------------------

When Levi woke up, or woke up enough to take in his surroundings, he wasn't in pain or in fear. He was leaning against a tree, on his knees. The air was light, and quiet. Sunshine beamed through the leaves of trees, and a bit of warmth hit his face.

He blinked and leaned his head back. He was tired, and if everything were as peaceful as it was right now, he didn't see any problem in drifting off once more.

The warmth on his face seemed to caress him, like the fingers of a lover. The tweets of a nearby bird lured him into darkness, and he relaxed.

"Levi!"

His eyes popped open. He didn't hear what was said, but nonetheless the sound was enough to shatter the peaceful state he was in. Disoriented, he lifted up his head from against the tree and looked side to side. His brow furrowed when he saw nothing around him. Just the glow of green, the warmth of sun.

There was no one around him. The sound or call began to drift from his conscious as if he'd never heard it to begin with. Again he lied his head against the tree.

And again his eyes fluttered shut. Levi couldn't remember ever being this tired, or maybe he was just always this tired. He couldn't remember. He guessed though, now it didn't really matter.

--------------------------------------------------

"He went this way, so they can't be far." You were still on your horse, and Hange was riding close behind you. "Y/n, the sun's going down. If we don't hurry it'll be dark before long." You nodded, and turned to your friend. "I'm going to check just a bit further, then we can leave."

You rode further, and the more you seemed to go deeper, the more eerie the words became. You'd always hated the forest, it creeped the fuck out of you. It wasn't even the fact that titans roamed the area. They were just the icing on the cake.

You got off your horse, gently leading the animal. "Where the hell is that-" Then you smelt it. Blood. You dropped the reins of your horse. "Levi."

Running forward, you followed the smell. Then...you found it's source. Victor's body was on the ground, his head missing. The ground was stained with his blood, and mere inches away was what was left of a Titan.

The picture was hellish. But something has to have killed that Titan. You doubted it had been victor. You went forward, walking past the bodies and the carnage.

At first you found nothing. No wires or odm gear, no body or movement.

Then you turned and light caught your eye. "Levi!" You gasped, your eyes meeting his body. He was leaning against a tree, on his knees. His arms were at his side, blood soaked.

Yet, despite all of this Levi looked scarily peaceful, his mouth slightly ajar and his eyes closed. He never looked his height, really. Levi Ackerman seemed to tower among men in life, but now, now he had never appeared smaller to you.

The scene was horrifying.

You slide to where you were on your knees before him. You gripped his shoulders and shook them. "Levi!" You didn't remember crying but tears had begun to pour from your eyes in spades. He breathed, something like a gasp- and his eyes fluttered open.

"y/n?" You gasped out a laugh when he spoke, and pushed him into you. "Levi..." You pulled away, and gently pushed a stray hair from his face. His eyes were half lidded and you could tell he was out of it.

He felt like he was under water, and his movements were slow and hazy. You could see his disorientation in his eyes.

"why are you being so loud, y/n?" You moved to his right side, gently wrapping an arm in-between his knees. "I was trying to sleep." You hummed an apology as you pulled your other arm around his neck. "you can sleep on me, okay?" "Tch." Was his only verbal response, but he gently laid his head on your chest.

You lifted him up, thankful for his small frame and lean build. You carried him past the carnage, reminding yourself of where Victor's body was so it could be picked up later. "It's peaceful, isn't it, y/n?" Your eyes widened and you glanced down at Levi.

His eyes were closed and his head was still leaning against you. You swallowed. When you got to your horse, you put him up first, leaning his body against the neck of the animal. Then you slide in behind him, gently grabbing his hips and pulling him to lean on you instead. He turned his head, and opened his eyes, watching as you grabbed the reigns and began to leave.

His breathe tickled your neck, and his eyes heated your cheeks. Frustrated with his focus on you, you quipped, "As per the service fee for saving you, you have to make sweet love to me now."

Levi groaned, but leaned into you more, putting his head under your chin.

You met back up with Hange, (who would've made some comment about Levi's current position on your horse had he not looked so rough.) And began your ride back. His breath was even throughout the ride, but he seemed to remain in and out of consciousness, which disturbed you.

When you returned, medics helped you lift him from your horse.

"Don't worry y/n, we'll take care of him." A nurse assured you. "Humanity's strongest will be just fine."

-------------------------------------------------

Levi was swinging through trees, searching. Blood pumped in his ears, his heart thumping a mile a minute. An abnormal had attacked them, grabbing onto victor and disappearing, carrying the screaming fifteen year old with him. Hooking up his odm gear, Levi sprung after the Titan.

Finally, the ugly bastard stopped and turned to him, smiling as he bit off the head of the screaming boy, silencing him forever and spraying the entire area with his blood.

Then the Titan turned on him. Levi was able to take it down, but as he swung into the air, his gas emptied and he landed head first into a tree.

--------------------------------------------------

Levi gasped, raising off the bed he was on, covered in a thin sheen of sweat. "What? What's wrong?" You stood up from your chair, having been half asleep yourself. Levi's eyes were wide until they adjusted to the room. It was dark, and he was on a bed.

In a moment he realized he in his own room. He rubbed his eye before he took everything in. He didn't have a shirt on, and he lifted the blanket to check underneath. You noticed his blush, even in the darkness of the room. "I figured you wanted to sleep in clean garments."

Levi ignored that and instead asked, "Victor?" You were silent for a second, thinking how to respond. It was too long for levi apparently and he pulled back his covers and moved to get up. "What-What are you doing?"

"I shouldn't be here- I-" You grabbed onto his arm and pushed him back. "There's no where else you should be, Levi." He gritted his teeth. "Captain."

Immediately you let him go, your eyes wide. Then they narrowed. Without thinking you slapped him, and the man flinched. Hair flying to cover his eyes.

You two were silent for several moments, and the room was tense.

"Why do...why are you so..." You groaned. "Fuck you." Levi said nothing, his face still down. Why'd you have to go by yourself? Why didn't you take me with you? These thought pulsed in your mind, causing your head to ache. Why couldn't he see that he was more than just your captain?

"I..." But most importantly why couldn't you just say this. "I know, y/n." You blinked. "I know...and I'm sorry." His shoulders shook. "I'm sorry." You immediately softened and within seconds you had wrapped up in your arms and pressed against your body.

You shushed him gently, until you lifted his face up to meet your own. Then you met his lips, softly connectings yours with his. He sighed into your mouth, his shoulders slumping slightly. "I don't want you to die, Levi."

Tears trailed down your face, and your grip tightened. "I don't just want to be another cadet to you."

He flinched, and wrapped his hands around your face. His raven orbs pierced your own, and gently laid his head against yours. "I just wanted to protect you...you don't know how many times, I've failed to protect...the people I love...I can't lose you, too."

You kissed his nose, "You can't just look out for me, you dolt." Levi frowned. "You gotta look out for humanity's strongest too, ya know." Levi nodded, and you smiled. Then you kissed him, twisting your head, and moving your lips against his.

It was salty but sweet as could be, you tugged against his bottom lip and he moved into you. However, you pulled away and gently placed your hands around Levi's face. You kissed his nose, each cheek, his forehead, every bit of him.

"tch, y/n," he tried to chase your lips but you doged, kissing his ear. "Y/n." He tried again, and this time you kissed his chin. "Please, just-" again, he tried and failed. He sighed, and relented, allowing you to kiss his entire face, head, and neck.

When you were done you pulled back away from him and squished together his cheeks. "Are you still up for some sweet love making?"

"I think I have a concussion."

--------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! Requests are open!

#levi x reader #levi aot #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x y/n #aot imagines #aot x y/n #aot x you #aot x reader #x reader #imagines

227 notes · View notes

halcyonstorm · 3 years

Text

The Breeze from an Airplane

MAJOR SPOILER WARNINGS FOR CHAPTER 138/139 AOT MANGA

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: death, graphic images

Read on AO3

Pairing: Levi Ackerman/Hange Zoe

Summary: Levi never thought the day would come where he had to relive the one of the most tragic moments of his life. He had finally begun to recover from Hange Zoe's tragic, sacrificial death. Now, two men stand at his door."We found Commander Hange's body."

Words: 4955

Levi received the worst news that evening. It was an inconvenient time to bear bad news, around 7pm. That was the time for Levi’s tea. It was usually a time for him to relax and unwind, but not tonight. The kettle was whistling; the tea was finished brewing. Levi had come out of the study and into the kitchen to retrieve the boiling water. Then, there was a knock at the door. It was strange. Usually, no one would come this late at night to bother him. He assumed it would be Armin coming to check up on him. He usually wrote to him as to when he would be stopping by. He hobbled to the door, feeling more apprehensive than he probably should’ve felt. He looked through the peephole in the door. Two men were dressed in suits. One wore round glasses, the other none. They must’ve had the wrong house.

“Mr. Ackerman,” The one with the glasses called out, knocking loudly again. Levi groaned, opening the door.

“What do you want?” Levi said, leaning against the door for support and crossed his arms. He forgot to bring his cane. The one with no glasses held a manila folder under his arm. The one with glasses wore a frown on his face. Levi’s eyes darted between the two of the mens’ faces.

“Mr. Ackerman. Good evening. We have some news for you.” The tone of his voice was neutral, as if they weren’t sure if it was good or bad news. His heart sank into his stomach, making him sick. What was it now? Haven’t I been through enough?

“We found Commander Hange’s body.”

It felt like two strong hands were slowly and steadily ripping his heart apart, every muscle, every nerve, every artery and vein came apart, leaking blood into each individual body cavity. His body began to feel heavy, blood leaking and drowning his body to its maximum. He had finally, finally, began to recover from losing her. Now, he was back to square one. He was brought back to that day on Odiha.

“And that’s that. I’ll see you guys later,” Hange said firmly, turning around to walk away. She called out to Armin.

“Oh, right. Levi’s your subordinate now, so work him to the bone. Okay?” Armin and the other’s faces read horror. Hange began to walk away from the group. As her decision began to settle with her, she felt herself begin to panic. She walked a bit before finding Levi. She didn’t intend to find him. She was scared to face him. She was scared to go. She didn’t let that show to Armin and the others, of course. She allowed her forced neutral expression transition into a deep frown. She felt her heart ache in her chest, and adrenaline began to pulse through her veins. As Hange forced her legs towards Levi, he called out.

“Hey, four-eyes.” She swallowed, feeling a lump form in her throat. He hadn’t called her that since she became Commander. She walked up to him, her shoulders in line with his. Hange wasn’t sure if she could look him in the eye, for her resolve could’ve broken at any time.

“You understand…” Hange began. He did understand, but he couldn’t accept what was doomed to happen, though. “It’s finally here. You know? ...It’s my turn.” Levi felt his heart ache. It seemed like all his senses shut down. The world had stopped around them. He wished to go back in time to the forest. Why couldn’t they have more time? Why did they have to meet in such unfortunate circumstances? It was pointless getting attached; He fell for Hange regardless, even though falling in love was suicide in the Survey Corps. Comrades, friends, and family died left and right. They were so close to freedom, to a peaceful life together that it physically pained him. He wished him and Hange forgot about the cruel world, even just for a little while. He was drowning in his pain at that time, but Hange helped him up to the surface. She was gentle when she sewed his face. Determined when she swam away with him to safety. Caring when she told him he didn’t need to get up. She protected him; this would be the third time he was saved by her. She was breaking his heart, well… whatever was left of it. He felt as if Hange herself shoved her hand into his chest, tearing his heart out.

“I want to look as cool as I possibly can right now. So please let me go.”

He thought it was very like Hange to say something like that. She wanted to look cool. She was still, even at this treacherous moment, trying to make light of the situation. But Levi could tell Hange was petrified. He couldn’t hold her back. He knew he could’ve easily changed her mind or broken her resolve, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that. He knew she had to go. He knew this day would come... but never did he believe it’d be so soon.

‘Please let me go.’ Those would haunt him for the restless nights to come.

He couldn’t think of what to say. He wanted to confess to her. To the person who has been by his side since day one. They have been there for each other no matter what. Levi fell for Hange every time he saw her.

I love you, he wanted to say.

I need you, he wanted to say.

Please, don’t go, he wanted to say.

But that would’ve been selfish. He couldn’t be selfish now. He had to be strong for her.

He raised his left hand and formed a fist. He struck it against her chest. Against her heart.

I dedicate my heart to you.

“Dedicate your heart,” He said, as strong as he could manage. He heard her breath hitch for a moment. Hange’s lips trembled. She knew what he meant. I love you, I need you. I dedicate my heart to you. Take my heart with you. Before her resolve was dissipated, she mustered up a laugh.

“Haha! That’s the first time I’ve heard you say that,” She said aloud. Her ODM gear zipped, and she was gone. There was a breeze that passed as she flew away. She took his heart with her. His chest was hollow. What she said was true: It’s the first time she heard him say it, but it’s also the first time he said it ever.

He had tried to reach Hange telepathically. She must’ve been too focused on the task at hand to respond. He saw her killing Colossal titans left and right as she flew through the sky. He was so proud of her. “You know I love you, right?” He told her as he hobbled onto the plane. “I will be forever in debt to you.” Deep down, he knew she heard him.

The plane took off. Levi couldn’t bring himself to look out the window like his comrades. They were screaming Hange’s name, crying, wishing it didn’t have to end like this. He didn’t want to remember Hange as she died. He remembered her as the strong, intelligent, brave Commander she had always been. He remembered her gentle touch when she wrapped his hands. He squeezed his bandaged hands together, reminiscing of his Hange.

“See you, Hange. Keep watching us.”

Levi passively allowed the two men into his house and shut the door behind them. The two men sat down at his dining table. Levi used his cane to assist him to the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of his favorite evening tea. It steeped too long; however, and it had turned sour. His lips puckered, pouring out the tea into the sink. He walked to the table and sat down. He stared blankly into the white linen table cloth.

“It’s up to you, Mr. Ackerman, whether or not you’d like an open casket. The body isn’t in good shape, I’ll be honest with you.” The body. That’s all it was to them. Hange’s dead body. She is a person one minute, a body the next. The two men must’ve delivered this news a thousand times to other distraught family members. Their tone expressed no sympathy whatsoever. All they cared about was business. “We will escort you to the morgue so you can see for yourself.” The morgue. He forced himself to nod, even though agreeing to see her body was asking for torture.

“If you choose, you’d have to hold the wake soon. The preservation chemicals can only hold for a few days before the body begins to --”

“I get it,” Levi interrupted with a shaky voice. He couldn’t let them finish that sentence. He would’ve broken down right there. He used his cane to push himself onto his two feet. “I’ll get Onyankapon.” He slowly hobbled into the back room where Onyankapon was. He was very torn up about Hange, too. Levi knew they were close. He was in his desk chair, reading. He saw Levi right as he entered, his presence altering the mood of the room from calm to anguish.

“Two men are here. They found Hange’s body,” Levi muttered, unable to make eye contact with his roommate. Onyankapon’s face turned sour and he stood up. “They’re gonna take us to see her.”

The ride to the morgue was quiet. Quiet was an understatement. It was mute, void of any sound. No one spoke. No one dared to put the music on in the vehicle. The streets were quiet. It was late in the evening when the bearers of bad news arrived at their place. It was cold. No one was walking about the town. The morgue, as it turns out, wasn’t far away. This made Levi shudder. Her body was so close to him in proximity. Her dead body.

They arrived at the morgue, Onyankapon got out of the vehicle first to help Levi. He submissively accepted his help following the two men inside. As they neared her room, Levi felt his heart begin to pump faster. He didn’t know what she would look like. How did she really die? Was she trampled? Burned alive? Both? He was starting to ask himself why he agreed to this. He didn’t want to know. He didn’t think he could handle seeing her again. Seeing her body again, after all this time had passed. He stopped dead in his tracks. The two men continued walking and reached the room, but Onyankapon stopped.

“Levi,” he said. He tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. “We should do this.” Levi could tell he was anxious too. That comforted him, in a strange way.

Levi kept telling his legs to move, and finally they listened.

“The body was in bad shape when we found it. We were able to reconstruct what we can, but without knowing what she looked like prior to the incident, she may not look the same.” Reconstruct? Just how bad was it? One of the two men held the door open. Onyankapon allowed Levi to see her first. He wasn’t sure if that was a good idea or not once he walked into the room. Levi and the man with glasses entered the room. It was a shabby room with peeling grey wallpaper. The overhead light buzzed annoyingly. The room was very cold. In the center of the room was the body, covered with a light blue drape. At the foot of the bed, it read “Hange Zoe.”

“Whenever you’re ready,” he said monotonously, holding the edge of the drape. Levi could always sense when Hange was around. She was right there, yet he couldn’t sense her presence. Levi took a deep, quivering inhale. He would never be ready, but he nodded anyways. It seemed like the man pulled the drape off her face in slow motion. He was shaking. Horrified of what could be. Once the drape was off, the man left the room, closing the door. Levi's eyes were fixated in the corner of the dim, grey room. He couldn’t bring himself to look at first. He didn’t want to look, but he wanted to look so bad. He wanted her to be alive.

It was worse. Much, much worse than he thought.

Now he knew what they meant by reconstruct. Her body was extremely flat. Her skull must’ve been crushed in, but whoever fixed her up must’ve reconstructed her skull so her face was somewhat normal again. The oxygen seemed to be sucked out of the room; He felt himself desperately gasping for air once he saw her face. His knees buckled underneath him, and he fell at the bedside, his head resting on the tops of his hands, hot tears gushing uncontrollably from his eyes. A strangled sound escaped from his lips. When he managed to look at her face through glassy eyes, he was taken aback. Right away he noticed her nose was different. From the side, it looked reconstructed to be turned-up, which did not suit Hange at all. It looked nothing like Hange, yet so much like her at the same time. Her skin was dark red and brown, charred from the steam of the colossal titans. It was dry and peeling around her eyes, nose, cheeks, and chin. There were multiple blisters scattered over her head and neck. Her eyes were closed, but her eyelashes and eyebrows were fried off. The hair on her head, the hair he loved so much, was thin, sparse, and ratty. Most of it had burnt off too. Her eyepatch must’ve been lost, exposing the scar tissue of her left eye. She must have suffered. No doubt about it. He hated the thought of her suffering. It made the tears flow harder. This was the woman he loved; Now a dead, lifeless corpse.

He moved the drape out of the way to look at her hands. They were burnt, too. Skin and muscle burnt, bones broken. He was almost positive every bone in Hange’s body was broken. Her body was frail. So still. It seemed so strange for her to be so still. It was so unlike her. Usually, she could never stay still. She was never quiet, always being the brightest and loudest in the room. He enjoyed it; it was strangely comforting. He never knew how much he loved it until it was gone. The humming of the overhead light fills the room. She was dead, and that was for certain.

“Hange,” He whimpered, looking in his lap. Tears wet his lap. “You weren’t able to stay out of the action after all.” He was so proud of his Commander. She sacrificed herself for him and their comrades without hesitation. She sacrificed her life for his. His life was worth so damn much to her that she would die for him. She did die for him.

Levi wiped his eyes and cheeks with his shirt, causing his sleeve to dampen. He stood up. He gently placed his left fist against her broken chest.

“My heart is yours.”

He was still bugged by how still Hange’s body was. He wanted to tell her to wake up. Join me. Live with me. Be with me. He allowed his selfish thoughts to take over for just a brief moment. Onyankapon knocked on then opened the door slowly, checking in on Levi. His eyes quickly jolted from Levi to the corpse on the table. Tears welled up in his eyes instantaneously as he rushed to the other side of her.

“God, Hange,” He sighed, his voice shaking. “What happened to you…” He wasn’t able to drown himself in his feelings after she was left on the island. He had to man the plane. He had to shift the plane into motion and into the air, leaving his close friend behind to die. All the suppressed emotions came flowing out of him when he saw her burnt body.

After a few minutes passed, the two distraught men came out of the room.

“We decided on a closed casket,” Levi muttered. He couldn’t let the other’s see her like this.

“Okay. There is a funeral home just down the block which--”

“That’s fine.”

“Okay…” One of the men scowled. “How is two days from now?”

“That’s fine.”

One of the men smiled insincerely with a nod. “It’s settled. 5pm.”

Two days was more than enough time to contact the 104. Everyone was quick to accept the invite. Levi didn’t know if he could do it. If he could go through all this pain again. He had laid his suit out neatly on his bed.

Today’s the day you are put to rest, Commander.

He picked up his white button-down, sliding his arms through the sleeve holes. He remembered how Hange used to get ready with him from time to time.

“Hange,” Levi called out, storming over to her. “Your shirt isn’t even buttoned right. I know you can barely see as it is but damn, I didn’t think your eyesight was this bad.”

He started to unbutton her top. He noticed Hange’s cheeks flush a bit. Once he got to the top, he began to button it correctly.

“Sorry. I am in a rush to get to a meeting,” she would say.

Levi shook his head. “You can’t go like this.”

“What would I do without you?” Hange would say, laughing.

What would I do without you? he now asked himself.

His shirt was buttoned up to the top. He grabbed his cravat, tucking it into his collar. He sat down to put his trousers on. He took a deep breath. Putting pants on was always a struggle each morning. His legs barely worked on their own anymore. Onyankapon suggested a wheelchair, maybe he should finally submit to the offer.

He leaned down to put his socks and dress shoes on. For the most part, the only time he wore a suit was to funerals or memorials. He disliked the suit, but now he hated it. He hated the reason he had to wear it.

He went to grab his suit jacket when he paused. He turned to his closet, deciding to wear the black jacket him and Hange shared. She had worn it last. He had tried not to wear it so the scent wouldn’t dissipate. He held it to his face, taking a sentimental whiff of her scent. It smelt of fresh soil and a hint of sweat. There was a special scent he couldn’t quite place, but it was Hange’s signature scent. Maybe it was the detergent she used or the soap she used (or didn’t use) in the shower, but it was her. He hadn’t smelt the jacket since she died, but he couldn’t help himself anymore. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he felt as if he could sob right then and there. He slid the jacket on him, the jacket being slightly too big for him but he didn’t care. He put his thumb and fingers to the lateral part of his eyes, squeezing inward. He silently sobbed. He was allowed to; no one was around.

After a few moments passed, he took a sharp inhale and closed his eyes slowly. He was starting to question why he had agreed to hold a funeral for her. It was for them, the 104. He patted his eyes with a tissue, took another deep breath, and then went to the living room. Onyankapon was shuffling through a box.

“Ready?” He asked. Levi nodded.

“What’s with the box?” Levi asked, turning the door knob and opening the door.

“Some of Hange-san’s belongings from the accident. Those two men dropped this off last night.”

“I see.”

He decided he shouldn’t go through it now. He would get too worked up. Besides, her clothes were probably burnt and unsalvageable anyways. Onyankapon popped open a wheelchair, gesturing for Levi to sit down. Levi could barely walk, let alone stand, anymore. He hobbled over and slowly sat down, groaning slightly. Onyankapon wheeled him outside, shutting the door. Outside were the same two men, ready to escort Levi and Onyankopon to the funeral home. They were standing in front of a long, black limousine. One of the back doors was opened. As he was wheeled to the car, Levi glanced to his left and saw the hearse. It was black and had small, purple, velvet curtains behind the windows. She was in there. Levi couldn’t look away even though he wanted to. Levi felt tears start to pool in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. He stood up, getting into the black vehicle. Onyankapon folded up the wheelchair and got in beside him.

Like the ride a few days ago, no one spoke. It was mute. Levi’s stomach churned each time he thought about having to see the 104 again, talking about their lost Commander. Within 10 minutes, they arrived at the funeral home. There were a ton of people standing outside the funeral home, chatting amongst themselves and waiting to get inside. Levi stopped frowning. All these people were here to see Hange. It made his heart swell. The car stopped and was parked. The man with the glasses opened the door on Levi’s side, helping him out. The wheelchair was already propped open for him. Levi sat and he was wheeled to Onyankapon. He saw familiar faces: Mikasa, Armin, Gabi, Falco, Jean, Connie, Annie, Reiner… These people really cared about her, he thought. His stomach wasn’t hurting anymore.

Onyankapon and Levi were allowed into the funeral home first with the two men. It reeked of stale flowers. There was a beautiful gold chandelier hanging from the ceiling in the entryway that glistened when the sun shone on it. The carpet had a red and burgundy checkered pattern. He stared at it as he was pushed to Hange’s service room. They finally arrived. There were rows and rows of metal chairs lined up, facing right, to the casket. Casket. That word right there almost made Levi lose it. There were beautiful flowers of all colors surrounding the casket. Yellow, red, pink, purple. Hange loved flowers, especially bright ones. It was very fitting. The casket was a rich dark mahogany color with a thick golden railing on either side. It was tragically beautiful. There was a small red velvet cushion on the floor in front of the casket for people to pray. There was a black and white banner that hung above the casket. “14th Commander of the Survey Corps,” It said in small text towards the top. “Hange Zoe,” it said in big text underneath. Levi admired it for a while. He was curious who set all this up. Could it have been Onyankapon? The 104? He made a mental note to find out and thank them. Levi was facing the casket now. Levi pushed off the armrests and kneeled on the semi-hard cushion. Onyankapon kneeled next to him. Levi wasn’t one to pray, but figured now may be a good time to start. He laced his fingers together, pressing his forehead against his thumbs and closed his eyes.

Dear Hange, thank you for saving my shitty life. Thank you for all you’ve done for me. I am so proud of you... I miss you every day. Are you still watching me? At that moment, someone must’ve opened a window because he felt a gentle breeze pass by him, caressing his face as it wooshed by. This caused Levi to open his eyes and look behind him. There was one big window, but it was locked shut. Levi took a deep breath, smiling. Rest easy, four-eyes.

He pushed himself to stand, then sitting back in the wheelchair. Onyankapon finished his prayer, a tear streaming down his face. The two men recognized they were done and allowed the rest of the visitors inside. The doors to her room opened, people started flooding in. Levi took this time to wheel himself over to the brown cork board that hung on the left side of the room. It contained photos of Hange. For the most part, he recognized the photos. There was one in specific he never saw before though, and it wasn’t on the board either. It was a large portrait of Hange in a dark wood frame that sat on an easel. He admired this photo the longest. It must’ve been painted of her when she had just become Commander. She had her beautiful chestnut hair up in her typical ponytail (which was neater than usual), her black eyepatch on, her thin oval glasses sat on the bridge of her nose, and she wore her olive green Survey Corps jacket. She wore the oval green stone around her neck, which sat at the top of her chest. There was a hint of a smile in the photo, even though the painter insisted she kept a straight face. Hange persuaded him to make her smile in the portrait, though. Levi thought she looked breathtaking.

He felt a hand gently touch his shoulder. He tensed slightly, turning around. He saw Armin and Annie together. They were both dressed well and teary-eyed.

“It’s good to see you Levi. We are sorry for your loss,” Armin said, shaking Levi’s hand and placing his other hand on top of his. Afterwards, Armin stuck a hand in his pocket.

“You, too. Thanks,” Levi replied.

“Hange-san handed me this after she made her decision to stay behind,” Armin explained, handing Levi an envelope which was folded in half. “It was addressed to you.” Levi took it from the new Commander, turning it to see the envelope addressed to “Levi” in Hange’s handwriting.

“Thank you, Armin,” Levi nodded at him.

“What do you think of the flowers?” Annie asked, sitting down in the front row of metal chairs. Levi looked towards the flowers again.

“Hange would’ve loved them,” he replied. Annie smiled sadly. “She would have.”

Mikasa came up behind Armin, giving a small wave to Levi. Armin stepped out of the way, allowing Mikasa to pass. She took both his hands into hers, looking into his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Levi,” She whimpered, her eyes tearing up. She felt at fault for Hange’s death. She thought maybe she could’ve saved her, but didn’t. The truth is, Levi didn’t blame anyone specifically for her death. “If you need anything, I’m here for you.” Deep down, he knew usually no one actually reached out for help from others. He appreciated the offer, though.

“Thank you, Mikasa,” he replied.

As the lot of people passed by to visit Hange, Levi grew sick of the apologies. He appreciated them, but he couldn’t bear seeing everyone’s sad faces anymore. It made him feel worse. He told Onyankapon he was going outside for some air. The stale flower stench was starting to sink into his clothes and skin. He wheeled himself out of the room, down the hall, and through the doors. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon, shining beautiful shades of pink and red throughout the city. He took the envelope out of his pocket, slowly but surely unfolding the letter. He began to read.

Dear Levi,

You will receive this for one of two reasons: one, I am dead; or two, I worked up the courage to personally hand it to you. I hope it’s the latter. I know I am being selfish when I say this, but I wish we stayed in the forest together a little while longer. I began to write this after that day.Currently, you are asleep in the carriage I built. I stopped to make dinner for us. I barely had time, but I had to get my thoughts in writing.

I think I am going to die soon. So, I had to tell you how I felt before I go. I know my time is coming up very fast, and I am not afraid to die. That is what we signed up for when we joined the Survey Corps, after all. What is bothering me is when. I wish it’d be peaceful in a warm, comfortable bed. I doubt that, though. If it’s true, maybe we would be living together. Isn’t it true that if you live with someone for a long time, you’re considered married by common law? I wouldn’t mind being married to you, Levi. I wouldn’t mind waking up every morning and you’re nearby. I wouldn’t mind spending every day with you. We could explore the world together. Leave these walls in the past and be free, together. I can study vegetation, you can open the tea shop you’ve always dreamt about. Maybe I’d discover new plants and food for us to try. Or maybe I’d work to create inventions. Maybe I’d create a new type of food or plant. Maybe I’d invent a more efficient flying boat. Well… whatever I do, I hope it’s with you. Even if I am gone when you read this, live your life. Explore the world. I’ll be right by your side. I promise.

Always yours,

Hange Zoe

Levi held the letter close to his heart. His heart was throbbing and felt like it would burst out of his chest. Tears were flowing uncontrollably down his cheeks and into his lap. He folded up the letter, careful not to rip it. He slid it into the envelope, sticking it in the inside pocket of his, their, jacket. He looked up to the beautiful pink sky and saw a flying boat pass by, buzzing in the air.

I’ll be right by your side. I promise.

#levihan #levihan fic #levihan fanfiction #levi ackerman #hange zoe #hanji zoe #levi x hange #levi x hanji #AoT #snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #levihan one shot #levihan oneshot #rivahan

89 notes · View notes

heyitsjay03 · 3 years

Text

Fighting for Tomorrow

AN: This is my first fanfiction I’ve ever posted on here and I’m a little nervous lol. I just hope you guys have as much fun reading this as I did writing this.

Disclaimer: I do not own AOT and all rights go to the owners!

Reiner x Reader, eventual Captain Levi x Reader, Sasha x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 8.3k words

TW: arranged marriage, blood/gore, swearing/adult language, mild sexual content

---------

You can read parts two, three, and four! Just tap on the number you want :)

There’s a prolonged poke on my cheek, “Are you awake?”

My eyes slowly open, wincing slightly at the sunlight fighting through my curtains. A black-haired, green-eyed little boy sits on my bed- face just centimeters from mine. There’s another poke. “Well? Are you?”

“Eren,” I groan, rolling over in my bed and pulling the sheets up over my head. “How did you even get into my house?”

“You leave your window unlocked every night,” he says simply, as if it were common knowledge. He’s not wrong… I can only imagine how many people know about my window. I shudder. Maybe I should start locking up more.

“Fine, but that doesn’t mean you can just… jump through it. What would your mother think?”

“She doesn’t care.”

I roll back over and give him a hard stare before he slumps over. “I guess she does,” he mumbles, picking at the sheets on my bed. “But Mikasa’s with me so it’s not as bad.”

“Where-?” I sit up, throwing the sheets off of me. “Did you bring Armin, too, Eren?” I ask exasperatedly as I tuck my arms close to my chest and search my room.

Eren nods, “They’re outside keeping watch.”

“Keeping watch for who?”

“For-”

“Eren!”

The soft voice comes from just outside my window. We both turn towards it and watch as Mikasa’s face pops into the sill.

By the walls, how did I manage to end up babysitting these three maniacs?

“He’s coming!” Armin’s voice strains. I hurry to the window and see Armin giving a knee-up to Mikasa, his pale face slightly pink with exertion.

“Who’s coming?” I ask, turning to Eren.

I don’t get a response. There’s someone’s footsteps crunching towards my front door. A single glance to the kids tells me they really, really don’t want to face whoever it is. I grip Mikasa under her arms and pull her through the window before snatching Armin’s collar and tugging him through the window. The two scramble to their feet- Armin taking longer than Mikasa- and hurry to Eren’s side.

There’s a pounding knock at my door, followed by a man yelling for me. Eren and Armin clutch my arms and slightly tuck their faces into the silk of my nightgown. Mikasa remains steady and calm- her grey eyes trained on the door.

The man steps back from the door, peering in the window just above my sink. I know his face all too well. It’s Tobias Walker. He searches the house, face pressed slightly against the glass.

“What in the walls did you three do this time?” I mutter, hurrying to the front door. They remain at my side as I open the door.

Smiling warmly, I greet Tobias. “Hello Tobias,” I hum, “I wasn’t expecting you to visit until later on.”

My fiancé forces a smile, staring down at the kids. “...I was… Just… looking for you four.”

“Why?”

Tobias takes off his cap, twisting it in his fists nervously. Slowly, he tears his eyes away from them. “These three have been pestering me at work again,” he mutters venomously. “Darling.” He says this sweetly and quickly- an afterthought, an attempt to curry favor for his side of the story.

Two can play at that game. “Really, Tobias? They’re just children- what can they possibly do that can distract my dedicated fiancé from his business?”

He stammers, running a hand across his forehead. He’s a mess. His tanned skin is slightly red, black hair slightly frayed and mussed. Sweat drips down his face, trailing his jawline. It’s a shame I didn’t know him before this whole ordeal. Maybe we would’ve come together on our own, who knows.

“__________, please,” he tries pleading with me before realizing the words that came out of his mouth. He stands up straighter, eyebrows and lips forced into straight lines. “I won’t be begging,” he mutters in an attempt to be firm. He stares down at the kids. “And they’re coming with me.”

The small grips on my nightgown tighten.

“I’m sorry, Tobias,” I hum, rubbing the heads of each of the kids with a warm smile to each of them. My gaze turns back to the man in the doorway. “But there’s been some misunderstanding. Doctor Yeager had sent them to me. They brought me some of the stuff needed for the ceremony.”

“I- We don’t need stuff for the ceremony-”

“Are you rejecting the kindness of one of the town’s benefactors?”

“Well, no-”

“Did you want to spend extra money on the flowers and the arrangements?”

“I don’t need charity-”

A breathy laugh leaves my lips. “Tobias, you’re not thinking clearly. The Doctor had personally gone out of his way to tell me. He was on his way to work in Wall Sina when he stopped and told me he was sending stuff from his home to us. He didn’t even leave five minutes ago!”

It wasn’t entirely a lie. Doctor Yeager had told me of his business in another wall- the exact one was lost on me. I just wasn’t sure if he had left or not.

Tobias gulps, eyeing me and then the kids. My hands find my hips and I tilt my head to the side slightly, “...now- how is it possible that they carried their packages all the way to the other side of town, pestered you, and then made it back across town within five minutes?”

Tobias goes quiet, his mouth opening and closing like a trout. My eyebrow raises as I await his answer. His head twitches to the side and the grip on his cap grows tighter. “...I’m telling you-”

“And I am telling you that you, in your infinite wisdom, are wrong. Now, I’m sure the factory is completely lost without you so I’d suggest getting a move on.” I push his chest slightly and close the door. The four of us strain our ears, listening to the tell-tale crunches in the dirt as he walks away from the house. I can hear him muttering, the fence slamming behind him.

Eren and Armin release their grips and sigh. Eren turns to look at me, eyes shining. I shake my head, “You’re not out of the clear yet, so you three go sit down and tell me what you were doing.”

Eren stares dumbfounded at me, mouth slightly open. My eyebrow arches and he stands firmly in his spot. Armin grabs his arm, tugging him to the table. He practically throws Eren into a chair and takes another seat. Mikasa sits to Eren’s right, still silent and stoic.

My arms cross over my chest as I stare at the lot of them. Mikasa’s fiddling with the red scarf around her neck and Armin doesn’t meet my gaze. Even Eren pretends to be interested in the grooves in the wood table in front of him.

“Well? What were you three doing in the factory? Haven’t I told you three to just leave it alone? It’s happening, whether any of us want it to or not.”

“But it shouldn’t happen!” Eren erupts, slamming his palm to the table. My flower vase filled with wildflowers spins like a small dancer; stems arms stretched to a spotlight. The shaking of the vase echoes around the stillness of the kitchen. “He’s forcing you into a cage!”

“He isn’t forcing me into anything, Eren,” I say quietly. “I made my choice.”

“What were the options?” He snaps again, eyebrows drawn together to create fierce ridges that look out of place on a face so young.

I stay silent, focusing on keeping my breathing steady. I can feel my teeth biting down into the inside of my bottom lip, the tightness in my shoulders and back. Armin and Mikasa pull on Eren’s sleeves to pull him down into his chair. Eren shrugs them off, “He’s forcing you into something you don’t want- into a cage!”

“Eren!” Armin hisses incredulously, his soft-blue eyes widening. “She’s an adult- you can’t talk to her like that!”

“It’s okay, Armin,” I say softly, walking to the chair across from the three of them. “I should explain everything… Seeing as the three of you will probably find out one way or another.”

Eren huffs, slamming himself back down against his chair. Their eyes remain fixated on me- each pair simultaneously gleaming with curiosity and boiling with rage. I groan softly, running a hand through my long, ________ hair. It catches on a few tangled naps. “I didn’t realise I was going to be explaining such a heavy topic so early in the morning,” I mutter, getting back up and walking to the cupboards.

“It’s past noon,” Mikasa states, earning an indignant ‘don’t say that!’ from Armin.

“Fantastic,” I breathe out, pulling the dusty, colored-glass bottle from the back of the cupboard. “Then I don’t feel so bad doing this.” I undo the stopper- a sweet smell wafting in the air behind the cork- and take a long swig.

Shuffling back to the table, I tuck the bottle back under my chair. “There’s no easy way to explain to three children,” I mumble, “But I know you’re all much brighter than your age. So… I’ll just start at the beginning,”

“I was born in a small cabin in the woods of Wall Rose. My family were hunters and gatherers- we lived off the land like our ancestors before us. It was a… ‘simplistic’ type of living and I didn’t have the luxuries I have now but… It was honest living. We took from the land only what we needed and gave it back as best we could,”

“There were people who looked down on us. Calling us… ‘out-dated’ and ‘backwards’. Maybe it was the way we dressed or how we lived or how we talked- whatever it was, they didn’t like us much... I got older and they had my little sister and I had started going to school in the village. I… I felt… it was awful- school. I was called awful things because of the way my family and I lived. I was an outcast and… So, I- ...I changed,”

“I fixed my hair and bought makeup from the traders in the village. I mimicked the way my classmates talked and stopped going hunting with my father and sister. Eventually… Eventually I was accepted. I was a part of the group now,”

“And I got even older and dreamed about leaving the village- to see what the other walls had in store and to leave behind the archaic ways of my family. That was when my family had their first run-in with Tobias. He wanted our land- to cultivate and grow grain for his factories. My family declined but he isn’t the type to take ‘no’ for an answer. He found out about my family’s money issues and… And he came to me. Tobias told me he knew and that he had a plan that would make everything go away.”

I stop, my words catching in my throat. My hands turn about in the air before my finger taps against my lips in an attempt to coax my words out. Closing my eyes, I inhale deeply.

“I couldn’t just… let my family suffer- you know that, right?” I ask hopefully, “We were suffering. We were starving and my mother was weak and my father was sick- what else could I have done?” I was rambling now and I knew it. I run a hand through my hair, tears pricking the edges of my eyes.

“So I told them I had a plan to get us out of debt and out of suffering. Tobias has to marry me. When Tobias marries me, he will be in charge of the land and will assume the debt. He’ll pay the debt off with the profit from the factory and then he’ll let us have three-quarters of it while he takes me and a quarter of land to be his…”

“Prize,” Mikasa finishes for me.

My eyes flick up to hers. The boys do the same, taken aback by her words. I couldn’t even scold her- she was right. I was a prize to be won and that’s exactly what happened. I was won.

Her steel-grey eyes are unwavering as she looks at me. It was difficult to read Mikasa but being here for this long has taught me a few things about her. And right now, she was staring at me in pity.

“...the deal was struck and I was taken here to Shiganshina. A few weeks after moving in, I got myself a job working for Doctor Yeager as his assistant and apprentice until the day when I can succeed him... And that is when I met you three.”

Eren looks about ready to burst at the seams- jaw tight, teeth gritted, eyebrows drawn, fists clenched. I reach out and place a hand softly onto his, smiling warmly. “This was my choice, Eren,” I hum, “And there’s nothing anyone can do about it. It’s been planned for almost two years now and the ceremony’s tomorrow. After that… Everything will be taken care of- the debt, my family, the land…” I sigh. “And I can’t lie and say it’s not a nice living that I have here. I have a home and running water and a warm bed and you three knuckleheads to make my day better.”

Armin turns a light shade of pink, smiling bashfully. Mikasa even cracks a small smile. But Eren…

I sigh again and run a hand through my hair. “Eren, please understand. If you were in the same situation- if Doctor Yeager got sick and your mother was too tired to take care of herself. If you had to look after Mikasa on your own… There’s nothing you wouldn’t do in that situation.”

Eren opens his mouth and then closes it, his hands finding his hair and tugging slightly on the ends. “It’s… It’s not... fair.”

“You’re right,” I mumble, “It isn’t fair. I should be able to make my own way but… Eren, life isn’t fair.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you coming?” Eren yells, charging head-on into the crowd of market-goers. Mikasa hurries after him, weaving expertly through the bodies without hitting a single one.

“We are!” I yell back with a smile, standing on my toes to see the two pop out on the other side of the crowd. Eren stumbles, falling to his knees. Mikasa stops almost immediately and reaches down to him, offering a hand. Eren gets to his feet on his own. Dusting his jeans, he looks up at Armin and I on the other side of the crowd.

“Miss Braus?” Armin calls softly, gripping my skirt as we elbow past the bodies in the square. It wouldn’t be this hard if I wasn’t cursed to standing only 160 centimeters.

“It’s __________, Armin,” I laugh, squeezing us between two very upset men arguing over the price of meat. “I’m only a few years older than you- you make it sound like I’m some school-teacher.”

“Why did Mister Walker choose to help your family? If he had just waited, he could’ve bought the land from the bank when they-” he stops himself.

We push through to the other side of the crowd. Eren leads us on towards the grassy hills while Mikasa stays on his heels. I sigh, shaking my head. “I have a lot of theories but… None of them make much sense.”

“...do you think he knew you before? Maybe he was a classmate or a family friend?”

“I didn’t pay that much attention in school, Armin,” I laugh, “I taught myself a lot more from books than the village wanted a woman to learn.”

They may have called us backwards but they were the ones focused on the forced submission of the townswomen. Sexist swine.

“Well… If he did know you, maybe he likes you.”

My head turns down to face him. His porcelain skin has managed to grow almost completely pink as he realises what he’s just said. Stammers of apologies come stuttering out of his lips as he hastily attempts to take back his words. I smile and shake my head, placing my lips to his golden hair. “You may be right, Armin. You always were bright.”

“...do you think you could ever love him?”

We trudge up the hill, breezes running between our legs and through our hair. Mikasa is already at the top, sitting down as she watches a breathless Eren climb up the grassy knoll. I place a hand on the sunhat on my head, securing it as the breeze teases it off my head.

Could I ever love him?

I try to see myself standing in the doorway of our home. Holding a baby on my hip, my other hand grips a child's hand. Tobias walks up the street and grins as the child breaks away and runs to him. Tobias picks up the child and walks into the doorway, pressing his lips to mine.

It’s all so... unnatural.

Tobias wants roots. I want freedom. I could never be a housewife. I want excitement and passion and unpredictability. He wants me to… To be his little trophy he can take down and polish after a long day at work. Something he can flaunt at dinner parties and work gatherings.

I’ve debated this a lot these past two years- whether or not I could love him. And the answer was always the same.

“No, Armin. I could never love him.”

I sit at the base of the tree, soaking up the sun. It’s not hot- just pleasantly warm. Eren’s attempting to climb said tree after managing to convince Mikasa that he won’t fall. Mikasa directs him on his foot placement but I can hear the scraping of the undersides of his shoes as he slips down the bark once again. Armin has fallen asleep on my lap- golden hair stretched out on the mesh fabric of my dress. There’s an illustrated book splayed out beside me that flutters between pages in the wind. Something Armin had gotten from his grandfather, I’m sure. Clouds roll lazily above us, white and pure. They don’t dare to touch the sun. They just float past it- allowing the warmth to uninterruptedly soak the ground beneath us.

...I wish Sasha were here.

“__________!” Eren’s voice calls from above me.

I turn, seeing Eren swinging from a tree branch. A laugh leaves my lips as I see Mikasa’s head pop right next to his. “Are you two having fun?” Mikasa gives me a quick nod as Eren nods much more enthusiastically. “Well, search the tree quickly. You still have to go grab firewood for your mother.”

“Aw, c’mon,” Eren huffs, “You can’t let us go one day without chores?”

“Miss Carla is as much of my boss as Mister Grisha. If she says you need to get firewood, you’re getting firewood.”

Eren sighs and stops swinging on the tree branch, returning to stand on the base. I can hear leaves shaking as they climb further up. A few break off the branches and float down into Armin’s hair. I pluck them out and let the wind take them from between my fingers. Inhaling the wildflower-smelling air, I seriously debate joining Armin in taking a nap.

“__________!” Eren screams.

My eyes shoot back open and I’m on my feet. “What is it? Eren? Mikasa? Are you hurt?”

“The Scouts are back!” Eren yells. There’s more tree-branch-shaking. “They’re back! __________, can we go see them?”

“We- You-” I stop and inhale deeply as my heart continues hammering against my chest. “You scared me!” I snap, arms crossing over my chest.

Eren- with twigs and leaves in his hair- appears at the base of the tree again. He jumps off, colliding to the ground with a thud as he lands on his side. Mikasa does the same, landing perfectly. Eren’s back on his feet in seconds, wiping his clothes of the dirt. “Well?” He asks, “Can we?”

“We haven’t gathered our firewood,” Mikasa points out, pulling the twigs and leaves from his hair. “Your mother told us we needed to gather firewood.”

“The firewood’s still gonna be here when we get back,” Eren says back, shooting Mikasa a look. “Please, __________? I swear I’ll get everything done.”

Armin’s up now- woken up by the commotion. He rubs his eyes and sits up. “Eren’s not wrong. The firewood won’t go anywhere,” he mumbles sleepily.

Sighing, I roll my eyes. “You’re gonna get everything done?”

“Yes, I swear.”

“And you aren’t gonna forget about it?”

“No.”

“And you won’t have Mikasa do it for you?”

“I don’t have Mikasa do everything for me!”

“...Eren… She does it whether or not you ask.”

“Fine. I won’t have Mikasa do it for me.”

“...okay then,” I smile, holding out my hand for Eren and Mikasa to hold. “Let’s go see the Scouts.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wish I hadn’t said yes to this. As much as I admire them and wish to be them… The Scouts are a mess. Almost everyone is bloodied and each has that look in their eye- the blank stare so wide you can almost see the carnage replaying behind them. There’s bloodied bandages in the street, being pounded into the cobble by the horses. Groans of agony and wailing fill the street. Something deep in my stomach churns as a man with an arm missing holds a bloody Scouts cape in his hands.

There were nearly a hundred that left.

There can’t be more than twenty that came back.

I can only wonder if it all is worth it.

Of course it is. What am I thinking? Pushing those beasts back, reclaiming the land that humanity used to populate and cultivate… It is worth it but… Damn, if it isn’t a high price to pay.

Eren jumps up and down to look over the people’s shoulders. Frustrated, he huffs and takes off further down the street. The rest of us follow. My hand wrapped in Armin’s, I let him lead me behind the crowd. Even as my hat flies away, I can’t take my eyes off the Scouts.

We come to a stop and Eren climbs up a stack of boxes. Mikasa and Armin do the same, sitting down beside Eren. I stand on the lowest box to see inside the wagon a pair of horses are pulling.

It’s bodies.

Not dead ones, either. There are soldiers in there- sandwiched together and nearly screaming in pain. Blood coats every inch of the wagon. The bodies in the wagon wail for a medic, for help.

I feel myself pushing through the crowd, running for the wagon. “I can help!” I yell, “I can help!”

A surly soldier turns to me, eyeing me venomously. “Who the hell are you?”

“I’m __________ Braus,” I answer, “I work for Doctor Yeager.”

The soldier scoffs and shakes his head. “They’re going to Wall Maria-”

“They’ll die before they get there!”

I can feel the crowd’s eyes on us now. My breathing grows unsteady and rigid as I stare at the soldier. He’s tall- maybe it was his horse or maybe it was actually him but he towers over me either way. A bandage covers the side of his head and I can see blood seeping through. His eyes are a paled-brown and dirt coats his stubbled skin.

“What’s the issue here, Weinfeld?” A voice behind me asks. There’s a huff of air that goes down my back. I turn and face a brown stallion. My eyes trail even further to the man sitting on top of it. My blood grows still as I realize who it is.

“C-Captain Erwin, I-”

“If this woman wants to help tend our wounded, why are you stopping her?”

“Well, she-”

“She offered her services to help prevent us from losing even more soldiers. Let her help.”

“Y… Yes, sir.”

“Miss?”

My eyes snap up to him. Blond hair, blue eyes. Broad shoulders and commanding height. Blood coats his emerald-green cape. I can see the insignia of the Scout Regiment sewn into the chest, even if it is filthy.

“Yes, sir?”

“What do you need to help them?”

My nerves fade away and I roll my sleeves. “I need more hands. And any medical supplies you can give me. Even shirts, capes- those can work for the time being, too.”

The Captain nods and I hurry to catch up to the wagon. As it’s moving, I jump onto the back and swing my legs over the side. The smell of flesh and blood is putrid here. The blood has seeped into the wood- making it smell metallic and rotten. Flesh smells like it had been left out for days… I could only imagine that being the truth.

“Please, miss,” someone groans, “Please help me.” The chorus of damned souls begins again, even louder now. Bodies shift and turn to face the new ray of hope.

I reach down, tearing off the layer of silk fabric beneath the mesh. Tying it around my face, running footsteps come up behind us. “Ma’am!” Someone calls, “The Captain said you needed help!”

“Get in here,” I snap, taking off the moonstone ring around my finger and tucking it into my bra.

Three men pull themselves into the wagon. One starts to heave as the smell hits his nose. “If you’re going to vomit, do it over the side and get someone else to replace you,” I state, “If you can’t handle the smell, you’re not gonna like what we do next.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Miss!” The man on the opposite side of the wagon calls, “The blood’s not stopping!”

“Lift the stump up!” I yell back, “Make sure you keep it elevated.”

I turn back to the man trembling in my hands. “Okay, what’s your name, soldier?”

His chapped lips part slowly, a cough passing his lips before his words. “...Louis.”

“Okay, Louis, you’re gonna be alright but I need to do something that’s not gonna be fun.” Louis nods slowly. “I’m gonna put this in your mouth for you to bite down on. It’s just a piece of fabric.” He nods again, opening his mouth.

I look around to the other men. One’s still holding up the bleeding stump of a man’s leg across the wagon, attempting to fashion some sort of holder for it. Another is wrapping bandages around a woman’s arm that dangles at an impossible angle. The last one lays a body down on the wagon floor and stands back up.

“You!” I yell, gesturing to the last man and waving him over. “I need you for something.”

The man walks over the bodies to me, his black hair brushing into his steel eyes. “What is it?” he asks flatly.

“You’re going to hold him down by the shoulders while I pour this on his wound.”

The man doesn’t say anything but positions himself at Louis’ shoulders, pressing down. The bottle in my hands was alcohol- something someone from the crowd offered. Pulling down the silk around my face, I unstopper the bottle with my teeth. Standing with a foot on either side of Louis, I look down at the man at his shoulders. “You ready?”

The man nods once.

I lower myself onto Louis’ legs, peeling back his bloodied shirt. A two bleeding lines run along his stomach. An image of a Titan grows in my mind, reaching out ravenously at Louis. A few centimeters more and he would’ve been caught. They’re deep cuts and they look like they’ve been left exposed for far too long. I shake my head, pressing my weight down against his legs. It’s time.

The liquid flows out of the tipped glass, pouring into the crimson grooves in Louis’ skin. Muffled screams pour out of his lips and his legs buck up underneath me. Wincing, I continue pouring. Agonized screams manage to fight through the fabric in his mouth as his whole body spasms.

I tilt the bottle back upright and force the cork back into it. Louis is still thrashing about, causing blood to gush out of the wound. “Hey, Louis, Louis,” I mumble, leaning forward to look him in the eyes. They’re squeezed shut and his head turns from left to right wildly. “Louis!” I yell, grabbing him by the chin. “If you want to live, you need to hold as still as possible- do you understand me? If you move too much, you’ll lose too much blood and you’ll die. So sit there and stay still.”

Louis nods frantically, his chest still heaving. Sweat pours down his face and I take my skirt and rip it again. Dabbing the fabric against his forehead, I look up to the man at his shoulders. “You take over,” I state, handing him the piece of fabric. “I’m gonna make something and you’re gonna hold it down on him, okay?”

The man nods once again. He doesn’t seem comfortable talking. Not that I would either, surrounded by the bleeding half-rotted bodies of my comrades.

“Good,” I mutter, gripping the fabric that makes up my sleeves. Pulling the fabric one way as I pull my arm the opposite way, the fabric rips and I wad it up. I do the same with my other sleeve and lift Louis’ shirt back up again. I place the fabric against the wounds and look up to the dark-haired man. “Come here- you need to put pressure into this. Don’t let go, okay? Just keep putting pressure.”

The man nods and I get to my feet to check on everyone else.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There’s nothing else I can do with no proper supplies and I’m running out of fabric. My eyes drift down to my dress- or what’s left of it. It hangs around my legs a bloody, shredded mess that barely covers my upper thighs.

I can always buy another one. My eyes then turn to the lot of soldiers in the wagon. I can’t exactly replace these Scouts’ lives.

My eyes continue drifting until they land on each of the three men that helped me. The man holding the man’s stump- he’s Eld. The other one with the woman- Oluo.

Eld hands me another soiled Scout cape and I hand him a less-soiled Scout cape. Leaning over the side of the wagon, I wring the cape in my hands. Sickly red liquid slicks down my hands and squelches down onto the passing cobblestone. The color of my skin is no longer visible- drowned out by the endless amounts of blood.

“Eld,” I mumble as I wring the cape dry. I’m hoping he can distract me from the cobblestone pavement I’m painting red.

“What’s it, __________?”

“Who’s the other man?” I ask quietly, “The one with Louis?”

Eld turns to look down the wagon before he laughs. “That’s Levi. Another one of us.”

“He doesn’t talk much,” Oluo adds, “Don’t take it personally.”

“I thought maybe it was… because of all this,” I smile crookedly and sit back down in the corner. The wagon tosses and jostles underneath us as we make our way to Wall Maria. “Maybe I’m just projecting. I’m certainly not as talkative as I usually am.”

“You handled this well… All things considered,” Oluo huffs a laugh, “Ever thought about joining?”

“You’re recruiting now?” Eld snaps, “Who in their right mind would want to join after seeing this?”

Oluo shrugs, “Nobody in the Scouts are sane.”

I clear my throat awkwardly and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “Well… if you’re ever back in Shiganshina- I’d be more than happy to sit you down and teach you some medical basics. It could end up saving a life.”

Eld and Oluo both bow their heads gratefully. My eyes dart to Levi, who still remains keeping pressure on Louis’ wounds. “You’re also welcome to join us, Levi,” I smile.

He says nothing but nods once more. It’s better than nothing, I suppose.

Maria’s walls tower over us in the sunlight- stone reflecting light down onto us. I get back to my feet, rubbing a hand across my forehead. Almost immediately, I cringe at the feeling of slickness now on my skin.

Throwing one leg over the side of the wagon, I prepare myself to jump. “Where are you going?” Eld asks, getting to his feet.

“You’re almost to Wall Maria and there’s nothing else I can really do without supplies and equipment. All you three need to do is make sure that stump is elevated, pressure stays held on Louis and that you three get back to me in Shiganshina for those drinks.”

“Why can’t you stay?” Oluo asks, gesturing to the bodies around him. “If something goes wrong-”

“If something goes wrong, I’m sure the rest of your regiment have doctors waiting on the other side of Maria. ‘sides, I left my kids back there. There’s no telling what they’re up to without me.”

“You have kid-”

Something cracks against the pale-blue sky. Yellow and green lightning pierce the tranquility, striking down just beyond Wall Maria. It disappears as fast as it came- leaving only a trail of white smoke in the sky. “What was that?” I mumble, stepping back into the wagon. “Was that lightning…?”

Eld and Oluo are on their feet now, staring at the sky. I can see their hands gripping their ODM controllers. Eyes wide, mouths slightly open we stare at the Wall. My breath is caught deep in my throat as we wait. As we watch.

The wind kicks up. The former sweetness of wildflowers in the air is now nauseatingly saccharine. It elbows the steam out of the way- and then we see it.

A hand. On the wall.

Stone crumbles beneath the muscle. Paradoxically slowly and quickly, a skinless head lifts up behind the wall.

…that’s impossible.

I want to believe it’s impossible, believe it’s just a facade but as I’m staring and as I hear Eld and Oluo whispering, I know.

There’s a Titan towering over Wall Maria.

I waste no more time. Throwing my leg over the wagon again, I jump. Eld is the first to react, screaming at me to get back on the wagon.

“My kids! My family!” I scream back, sprinting towards town. “I can’t leave them!”

And I keep running. Elbows and bodies are thrown into my chest. I keep running. Eren. Mikasa. Armin. Carla. Even Tobias. Massive chunks of stone collide beside me and that’s when I know the wall has been torn through.

And I keep running. Blood in my ears, blood on my face, blood on my hands- it all seems to burn and throb. Colors blur together in the edges of my vision. All I need to focus on is getting to them.

I can hear the screams and the cries and the wailing and the bones snapping. And I keep running. I don’t have time to look.

There is blood everywhere. I can smell it.

My eyes catch him- a black-haired boy running straight into the crowd and towards the wall. A girl runs after him. Another boy, with blond hair, stands rigid in his spot.

Their names rip out of my body. “Eren! Mikasa! Armin!”

Over and over again, they shred my lungs as I push towards them. My arms wrap around Armin and I spin him around to face me. My eyes dart between his, brushing hair from his face.

“Armin, where are they going?”

There is no response. Just a blank stare.

“Armin! Where are they going!” I’m screaming now, shaking him at his shoulders.

“...home.”

A shaky breath leaves my lips. “You need to run, Armin,” I mutter, turning him towards Wall Maria. “Do you hear me? You run for that wall and you don’t look back.”

Armin nods slowly and I keep running.

I round the last corner and I freeze. A chunk of the wall sits atop the ruins of the Yaeger home. Dust clouds billow about and I can hear three voices screaming amongst themselves.

My feet carry me there. “Carla! Mikasa! Eren! Grisha!”

“__________!” Carla yells back as I stumble to a stop just before the remains of the house.

My eyes land on her- pinned down underneath a wooden beam and dirt painting her face. Her eyes are wide, staring up at me. I hear the wood groan and shiver. Eren and Mikasa strain as they try lifting the wood up.

“Help us!” Eren snaps at me.

I reach for the beam, fingernails digging into the wood as we all lift it up. It doesn’t budge. Once more, Mikasa and Eren and I plant our feet on the cobblestone and lift.

...it’s no use.

Even if we get this thing off her, Carla’s legs are crushed. We wouldn’t make it out.

“__________!” Carla’s yelling my name over and over. Her hand is gripping my leg, nails digging into my skin. “You have to listen to me- you have to leave me behind and take them! You have to survive- you have to leave me!"

“No!” Eren screams, trying to lift the beam up again. “I’m not leaving you!”

“Can’t you just listen to me for once in your life?!” Carla screams back, tears trailing down her face. “This is the last thing I’m asking you to do-!”

Something looms in the distance. Stomps quake the ground underfoot- and they’re getting closer. A face slowly passes the remains of the town hall. Grotesque and smiling, the Titan’s face turns towards us.

“Carla,” I whisper, tears now streaming down my face. “I… I can’t leave…” I mutter, shaking my head as I lean down to lift the beam again. My whole body strains, screaming for relief, as I try to pry the beam off of her.

“Hannes!”

Looking over my shoulder, I watch as Hannes lands just in front of us. “Take the kids and get out of here!” Carla screams.

Hannes kneels and smiles. “That’s not our only option, Carla. I’m gonna kill that Titan and save all of you!” His arms come out in a flourish, brandishing his blades. He runs around the corner of the house for the Titan. A war cry leaves his lips and-

He skids to a stop. His eyes trail up the height of the Titan. Even from this distance, I can see him tremble. He turns back, pushing his blades back into their holsters.

And he grabs Eren, tossing him over his shoulder. He tucks Mikasa’s body under his arm and he runs a few steps before stopping again. Turning to me, he screams, “Let’s go before it kills us all!”

My eyes flick back down to Carla. Her black hair is stuck to her face. Sweat and tears and spit slick down her skin as she looks up at me with watering eyes. “Take care of them for me,” she whispers. “My daughter, please take care of them for me. You all have to survive- for me.”

And I run.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“__________!”

My name buzzes around my ears but Eren, Mikasa, Hannes- they aren’t calling me.

“__________!”

I turn around, searching for the voice as I continue running behind Hannes. My eyes dart to each movement. A woman clutching the remains of a man to her body. A child crying. A man being lifted into the sky. Another man running straight towards me, carrying a briefcase.

“Tobias!” I yell. Hannes stops in his tracks, whirling around to face me. Tobias stumbles to a stop. Panting, he wipes his brow with his forearm.

“I need to tell you something,” he wheezes, shoving the briefcase into my hands. “In case I don’t get to, it’s all in here. Everything is in here.”

“Tobias, what are you talking about?”

His eyes are darting everywhere- from my face to Hannes and the kids to my dress and hands. “I haven’t been honest with you,” he says quickly, taking me by the shoulders. “I’ve kept so much from you that you should know about-”

“Just tell me!” I snap, searching his eyes.

Tobias sighs and nods quickly, “But only if we have some shelter.” His hand slips down my arm, taking my hand and pulling me towards a watchtower. Hannes and the kids follow behind us.

“__________,” Tobias states, turning to face me again and gripping my shoulders. “You have to understand- I didn’t know what else I could do. I just wanted what I wanted and I-”

There’s a terrible crash above us. I can feel myself being pushed back and colliding with the cobblestone. Mikasa calls out to me- cut short by the ringing in my ears.

Hannes appears above me, waving a hand in my face and shouting something. It’s all so… far-away. Distant. Blinking, I try to focus on the shifting mimics of Hannes before they all merge together.

Searing pain runs up and down my legs as I feel myself being dragged backwards. I look down and see the pile of bricks, splintered wood, and stone that was once the watchtower. And a single arm underneath it all, covered in a suit’s sleeve.

My eyes widen and my arms bring the briefcase to my chest tighter. “...is that…?”

Hannes nods, picking me up under my arms and setting me back on my feet. “I’m sorry but we have to go,” he mumbles. “We have to get them out of here.”

Tears start to pour from my eyes as I stare at the bloody hand reaching out from under the debris. ...he saved me instead of saving himself.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Please, sir, I can’t leave it behind-”

“I’m already allowing you three on before anyone else,” the soldier snarls, “I’m not letting you break any more rules.”

Hannes sighs, scratching the back of his neck. My nail taps against the leather briefcase as I watch Eren and Mikasa blankly stare into the water below. “Take them,” I blurt. “I’ll stay.”

The kids turn around to face me, eyes wide with horror. Tears stream down Eren's face as his fist tightens at his side. “No! I’m not losing you, too!”

“Don’t go,” Mikasa whispers, eyes pleading.

I kneel down, putting the briefcase down next to me. Gently, I place a hand on their faces and rub my thumb against their skin. “I will find you,” I whisper, “You have to trust me. I will find you. You stay where you are until I find you, okay?”

Mikasa nods once but I can feel her lean into my touch. Eren has my wrist, gripping it tightly. “Please, __________,” he pleads through gritted teeth, “Please don’t go.”

I press my lips to his forehead and whisper against his skin. “I will find you, Eren.”

Pulling away, I press my lips to Mikasa’s forehead. I stand and pick up the briefcase. “They’re ready now,” I whisper, forcing the mass of tears in my throat down. “Please take them.”

The soldier takes Mikasa’s hand and reaches for Eren. Eren elbows past him, charging for me. Screaming, he flails about as the soldier throws him over his shoulder and walks up the gangplank. “__________!” He screams. “You can’t leave me! I can’t lose you, too! Please!”

I bite down on my tongue. Tears stream down my face as I watch them get set down on the ferry. Mikasa holds onto Eren’s arm as he thrashes in her grip. The soldier runs back down and yells for the ferry to take off.

Hannes places a hand on my shoulder. I shake violently, sobbing now as the ferry pulls away. Eren finally breaks free and runs to the edge but it’s too late.

I clamp a hand over my mouth, preventing the agonized screams from resounding around the ferry station. I can see Mikasa coming up behind Eren. Someone else pushes towards them.

Armin.

He made it. They all made it. They’re safe. My kids are safe.

Hannes clears his throat behind me. I turn and push my face into his chest, sobbing and clutching at his bloodied uniform. “They made it, Hannes,” I say in strangled sobs. “They’re okay.”

I can feel him press my head further into his chest. “And you’re next.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You can’t close the gate!” I scream, clutching the briefcase to my chest. “There are people out there! Just wait-!”

“If we don’t close it now, the handful of lives out there will be nothing compared to how many we’ll lose in here!” The soldier snaps.

Hannes growls, lunging forward and grabbing the soldier by the collar. “That’s no reason to leave these people to die!”

Footsteps run up behind me. Two men, more soldiers, arrive in the doorway. Panting, one points outside, “They’re coming! You have to close the gate, now!”

“Lower the gate at once!”

“No!” I run forward and feel arms wrap around me, holding me back. One of the soldiers hurries and grabs Hannes, pulling him off the soldier. My body thrashes in its hold, “You can’t do this! You’re going to kill them all-!”

The walls begin to shake around us intermittently- heavy footsteps. They begin to pick up speed, thundering around us. Getting closer and closer, I can feel it in my head, in my heart- the hammering, the footsteps.

It all happens much slower than it did. Hannes wrestles out of the soldier’s grip and grabs my waist. The Titan collides with the wall, sending us into the air amongst the brick and stone of the gate. I can feel us being jerked a different way in the sky- the sound whirring and hissing of air surrounding us.

My arms around his neck, I peek over Hannes’ shoulder. A gaping hole is in the wall where the gate used to be. A Titan with patches of dense armor stands at the hole, breathing deeply.

“__________,” Hannes says as we land on the side of a building. “I’m taking you to Wall Rose. Wall Maria is gone. It’s over.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The candlelight flickers in the wind, taunting death before regaining strength. My fingers run along the blood-splattered leather. The gold trim slides under my fingertips. I can feel my stomach churn as I press the buttons in.

What was so secret he kept it from me for so long?

The briefcase flies open. Inside is a mess of paper- most pages are typed but some are handwritten. I can clearly see Tobias’ neat, small handwriting on the pages. I scoot closer to the candle, taking a sheet of paper and reading it in the light.

__________,

I am writing this knowing in almost-full confidence that I am no longer alive and I died before I had the chance to explain myself. I hope you don’t think of me as less of a person after this but if you do, I cannot say that I blame you.

My name is not Tobias Walker. I was born Fynn Kayserling in Dauper.

I stop, rereading that sentence over and over again. Dauper was my village. Tobias- Fynn was from… my village?

You don’t remember that name at all, I’m sure. I wasn’t very outgoing and the walls suited me as better friends than other students. But there was one girl that stood out. It was you. You were kind and gentle- but would never stand down from a fight. It was amazing, watch you grow up. An ever-changing fluctuation of fight and flow.

I was too much of a coward to be up-front with you. Watching others court you and how happily you responded to them, I knew I wasn’t good enough. I left at seventeen to Shiganshina and started my business.

I returned a year later and found that you, that your family had been suffering. Your mother being weak and your father being ill while you and your sister were starving- I wanted to just give you the money. An anonymous donation. But there was another, more selfish part of me that wanted something in return.

I tried to fight it. It was so twisted even I was disgusted by myself. But my cowardice, my weakness, my greed got the better of me and I made that offer to you. It wasn’t fair of me to and I wish I would have changed my mind- so I did this.

Assuming I’m dead, inside this briefcase you will find my will. I’ll spare you from reading the legal nonsense. I’ve given you everything. The factory, the houses, the money, the land. It’s all yours to do what you will. There’s more than enough to pay off your debts and to build your family a better home.

There was a reason I never told you what the plans for the wedding were. There was never going to be a wedding. I was going to give you the money and the land and tell you how I feel before letting you choose your path. It was selfish of me to take you away for two years. I couldn’t live with taking you away for much more.

I hope you can forgive me, __________. I was selfish and cruel and I know it wasn’t love. Something more sinister- not love. I tried to be better, I hope you know.

Yours always,

Fynn

I blankly stare at the letter, so many thoughts buzzing through my head that I feel dizzy. My eyes dart to the typed papers. ‘Final Will and Testament of Fynn Kayserling’ is typed on the first page.

He… he lived in Dauper and he was a classmate. He knew me. My stomach churns at the words ‘wanted something in return’. My eyes turn to the open window, to the stars above. Tears stream unyieldingly d0wn my face as I take a deep breath in. As I exhale, the wind takes my breath into an icy grip and turns it white.

I need to find them. Before anything else, I need to find Armin and Mikasa and Eren. And when I do, I’ll make sure they’re taken care of and then I’ll take care of my family.

I’ll never forgive him but... tomorrow.

The search starts tomorrow.

---------

You can read parts two, three, and four! Just tap on the number you want :)

152 notes · View notes