#so i'm sorry if anyone is offended but she is the fucking worst

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 2/?

PART 1, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22

Some might be a bit ooc but good thing it's called fanfiction and not fantruth amirite

Things to look forward to:

Roo and Goodie (that's the name I decided to give "The Good of All Mankind"

Sins being a somewhat close family/friends (Even with Mammon the jackass)

Badass Luci being the badass king of hell

Father-Daughter moments

Very subtle radioapple (brainrot)

If anyone wants to write a proper fic format based on this, I would be happy to give you permission as long as I can get to read it!

Do we have a deal?

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Charlie can't sleep all night even though she realizes that she is tired. It's almost noon but she didn't have the strength to get up yet and face everyone. Millions of thoughts are running through her mind. How could she say that to her dad? He was just trying to help. She didn't mean it. It was just in the heat of the moment. She doesn't really think that, right? She loves her dad. It's just not fair. That's no excuse. Wrong. Wrong Wrong. She's sorry. So so very sor-

Vaggie: Babe?

Charlie turns to the door and sees her girlfriend.

Vaggie: How are you feeling?

Charlie: Like I'm the worst daughter ever.

Vaggie comes to sit with her in the bed and hugs her lover as she starts to cry again.

Charlie: Why did I say that to him, Vaggie? He was just trying to help me. If it was any one of you, I would've done the same and made you rest.

Vaggie purses her lips, unsure of what to say.

Vaggie: Why don't you eat something first.

Charlie: is- is he down there?

Vaggie: I-

Before Vaggie could answer, Razzle enters the room in a hurry, gesturing wildly for them to come down. They both run to the lobby following the familiar.

Charlie expected another demon out to cause trouble in the hotel but it was-

Charlie: Aunt Bel?!

It was the Sin of Sloth, Belphegor, standing at the center of the lobby. The other guests watch in apprehension as Alastor's black tentacles are somewhat showing.

Charlie approaches her aunt slowly and notices that despite still upholding the regal stature, the bags under their eye are more prominent than before. The Sin gives a slight bow.

Belphegor: Princess. Your father was not at the palace. I would like to speak to him. Urgently.

Charlie: Oh um. Yes, he's here. He's in his room.

She beckons Razzle to fetch her father.

Charlie: Is something wrong?

Belphegor hesitates but doesn't answer.

Lucifer arrives downstairs the next moment.

Charlie sees the wet look in her father's eyes. Like he's been crying. Of course, he was. She knows her dad. He's her dad-

Charlie tries to catch her dad's gaze but he doesn't so much glance at her direction.

Lucifer: Bel.

The Sin of Sloth gives a deeper bow to her king.

Belphegor: Your Majesty. If I could borrow you for a moment down in Sloth. There is a... situation.

Lucifer adjusts his stance. None of the sins ever called him by anything other than his name before. That is unless there is something wrong or they fucked up big time.

Lucifer: And you went all the way from Sloth?

Belphegore: I- I do not feel it to be wise to discuss this matter over the phone.

That wasn't cryptic at all for the hotel residents.

Lucifer waves for her to come closer and she whispers something into his ear. Everyone was holding their breath.

As soon as she's done, Lucifer and her start moving.

Lucifer: I will be in Sloth. Alastor.

Alastor appears in a wave of shadows to his side.

Alastor: Yes, sire?

Lucifer: I will be unreachable until I resolve this. I'm sure you can handle keeping an eye on the hotel?

Alastor grins.

Alastor: I would be offended if you weren't.

Charlie: Wait! Dad! Please, can we talk before you leave?

Lucifer: Char-ch-

He stops himself and takes a deep breath.

Lucifer: Sorry, Charlie. We'll talk after.

Lucifer gives his daughter a small smile and squeezes her hand.

Husk: What the fuck was that?

Charlie could only stare as her father and aunt disappeared in a portal to the Sloth ring.

Charlie: I don't know.

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Part 3 Snippet:

Belphegore: Lucifer! What are you doing?!

[anangelinthepit]

Baby, you're the Right Kind of Wrong

Hey guys, sorry this story was put on the backburner. I got a new series coming, and I was focusing on BMB. Anya, I hope you all enjoy it and let me know if I should continue this series. I love you all

-Magenta 🌹

Small warning ⚠️ there is a sex scene, so please be advised.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

Part 5

Y/N pov

My body, heart, and mind have been aching ever since I left my parents. Not because I missed them but because I put up with their bullshit for so long and was blinded by obedience. How could I be so brainwashed into thinking that was love? I wanna scream, but I'm just so tired, all I can do is lay here as the bruises from Papa’s belt form on my skin. Warm tears ran down my face onto the silk pillowcase, maybe taking a shower will ease some of this pain And help me forget. I don't wanna face anyone right now, not even Noah. Am I doing this? Running away with a boy that I just met and putting all my hopes into him? What the hell is wrong with me? That situation brought out the worst in him and part of me feels he might have developed some resentment against me. I met him a day ago and twisted his peaceful universe into a spiraling hell. I sighed and got up slowly trying to make my way to the door but my legs were killing me. I guess that all the adrenaline that was pumping through my body numbed the fact that I was burned, cut, and bruised. As I put my hand on the handle, it started to turn, meaning someone else was trying to come in. Noah beat me to it, and I'm gonna have to face him.

“How are you holding up, Angel? he asked.

“As good as I can be, I guess, I was just on my way to go take another shower,” I said, looking down, not being able to make eye contact with him. God, the guilt I felt.

“Do you need anything? You can borrow more of my clothes tonight if you want until we can get you some more,” he said, walking over to his dresser, digging through them once again

“That would be nice. My clothes smell like cigarette smoke, unfortunately.”

Noah handed me a pair of grey sweatpants with a t-shirt that had some character on it, holding what I presumed to be a whiskey bottle.

Man this guy's clothing choice is a bit strange

I smiled and said, "Thank you”. We shared an awkward silence once again, but this time, I had enough courage to break it.

“I'm sorry, Noah.”

“For what baby?”

Baby…

“For what? Noah, I turned your world upside down in one freaking day. You put yourself in harm's way and pulled out a gun all for what.”

“To protect the girl I fell in love with,” he said, crossing his arms.

This entire thing feels like a fucking dream that turns into a nightmare then back to a dream. How could he love me? I'm nobody. Unless it's just he loves the idea of me. Think about it, I'm a girl who has never been touched before and so clueless, I'm an easy target, and what Mama calls an “easy lay”. Now I'm starting second. I guess my decision.

Noah grabbed my arm and sat me down in front of him. I was worried that what I said offended him because the look he gave me was so cold.

“Y/N I know all this is a lot and I promise you we will take things slow but my priority was getting you away from that Hell house. Even if you didn't want to be with me, I still made you my responsibility.”

Responsibility? He makes it sound like I’m a chore

“The fact that other people could look at your arms and think what was going on was okay makes me sick to my fucking stomach. I couldn't sleep the night you left knowing all this. When you were staying over, I went downstairs and cornered Jolly and Ana. I know you were pissed at her for telling me and trust me she was reluctant to, but I didn't give her a choice. I had my theories, and they were confirmed that night. Even if you weren’t in trouble, I decided that you were coming back to a home where you had people who cared about you. A home where no one would dare lay a finger on you.”

“Noah I want to be with you, but it's just all strange to me that within one day you told me you loved me. You don't even know who I am as a person.”

“Is it strange because no one has told you that and meant it?”

Ouch, that hurt

“What are you insinuating?” I crossed my arms and stared at Noah, I'm not trying to defend my parents, but he also doesn't understand there is more to the story.

“Do you honestly think what your parents did to you was love”

“My parents do love me Noah they're just sick.”

“So that gives them a fucking right to beat on you? Y/N If you thought what had happened was okay and you loved your parents, you wouldn't have called Ana's phone begging her to save you.”

Noah started to slightly raise his voice and it made me shut down. I didn't want to make him angry, but he needed to see how odd this was from my point of view. Not wanting to make eye contact with him anymore, I just shook my head in silence. I hate arguing, and from what I'm seeing, there is no winning in this one.

“Y/N, look at me.”

I looked at Noah and saw that his demeanor had changed to his softer side

“Y/N. you beautiful, broken, naive angel, I fucking love you and I'm not going to hurt you. Not like them. Let me at least show you what real love is supposed to look like. Please.”

Hes lying. None of this is real. Mama always told us men only want one thing.

I threw my head into my hands, trying to prevent the tears from coming out and the voice to stop talking. He's not lying. No man would do this just for some sex. There's no way.

“Noah. I'm scared.” I said with tears now pouring down my bruised cheek. Noah gently grabbed my hand and caressed his face with it. Giving it a gentle kiss and looking into my eyes.

“The fear you carry is small compared to the love that I will give to you. It will always prevail Y/N. It's you and I from now on, got it? I got you, and I will never let you fall.”

Within that moment, Noah's lips clashed with mine, sending me back to cloud 9. I didn't want him to stop, but I wasn't ready to go any further. Noah pulled away and gently rubbed his thumb up against my cheek.

“Now go take a shower, I got something planned for us when you get back out,” he said with a smile.

I nodded and went about my way. Is this what love is? Unconditional? If so, I have it now, and I never want to lose it. I never want to lose him.

He'll get tired of you eventually. You're not worth it.

That thought made me grab my head and run into the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and slid down to the floor. Even after all of Noah's reassurance, the voice keeps creeping in. God help me.

Noah’s POV

Gonna have to do a lot of damage control with her, but it'll all be worth it. I was getting ready to order food for the house and pick out which horror movie would be best. She was never allowed to watch movies, so I feel like a movie night would be the best way to welcome her home. I got a knock on the door, and it was Matt.

“What's up ?”

“How's she holding up?” Matt asked

“Brusied to the core and mentally fragile. I guess as good as a girl who's been through the worst can be.” I said, scrolling through my phone.

“Listen, man, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but… just be careful. Don't forget to take care of yourself too. Sometimes, people lose themselves trying to take care of others” Matt said while rubbing the back of his neck

I wanted to get mad at what he said, but he was right. After all, he is my friend and he cares about me. I looked up at him and shook my head in agreement.

“With that being said, I'm also glad you did what you did. God only knows what would have happened if you hadn't gone back for her.”

“Makes me wonder. If God already knew, why would he let it happen?”

Matt was about to say something when Y/N walked in. Even covered in bruises, she was still so ducking beautiful. Beautifully broken.

“Your clothes are so comfy. At this point, your wardrobe is mine now.”

I smiled at her, but she was still able to see something was up with both of us. Guess I wasn't good at hiding my thoughts.

“Is everything okay? You guys look like you've just got some bad news.”

“I mean, I don't know about you, but I'm starving, the food is on its way, and we’re all gonna pile downstairs for a movie night. “ Matt said, trying to change the subject

“Sounds like fun.”

We all made our way downstairs and ended the night with Thai food and scary movies.

“So which one are we doing, Y/N turns to pick. Don't let us down.” Matt asked, holding up options

“Well, this one looks good.”

“No way, Y/N, are you trying to have nightmares,” I said in shock

How does this chick know what the grudge is?

“You know, for someone who talks about dethroning god, you're a real pussy.” Y/N joked

“Woahhhh language missy. We got virgin ears around here ” Folio said, holding his own

“Damn Noah, I didn't know your girl had it in her,” Jolly said, patting my shoulder

“Im pussy huh? We’ll see who's the real one after the movie. And you can't hide in my lap either.” I joked

“Pfft, what good is hiding behind you when you're scared too.”

“Be quiet and put the movie in.”

We all shared some funny jokes and a few good laughs. Something in me started to feel almost full. Like I had everything I ever wanted. My friend, my home, and now my girl. Everything has finally fallen into place, and I got my life back to where it needs to be.

At least, that's what I thought until Matt had some news for the band

About two months had almost gone by, and everything was perfect. Y/N adjusted so well to her new life, and we were even planning on moving to California.

“Are we really going to LA,” Y/N asked

“Oh yes, we are. It's gonna be me, you, and the beautiful West Coast sunset.” I hugged Y/N from behind and kissed her neck,

“Noah stop you're making me blush.”

“That's the whole point angel.”

“I don't mean to break you two love birds up, but Noah, I gotta talk to you,” Matt said, walking into the kitchen. I could tell it was something serious, so I told him lets go out on the back patio."

I winked at Y/N and closed the doors behind me.

“Everything okay?” I asked

“Summerian just booked you guys for an 8-month tour across the states.”

“What! Matt, you gotta be kidding me. We just got off of tour and are trying to adjust. I can't make Y/N travel all over the place.”

I started pacing and wondering why in the hell we ever signed with this company, to begin with. It's been non-stop touring one day after another.

“That's the bad news, Y/N can't follow us on this one,” Matt said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously,

“Now I know you're fucking joking.”

“I'm sorry dude but it's gonna look really bad when you have a girl following you around. The fanbase is gonna drop tremendously. I'm sorry she just gonna have to sit this one out.

“This is fucking bullshit.”

I looked up and saw Y/N sitting on the island sipping away at her tea. Looking so peaceful and happy, she noticed I was staring at her and smiled at me. Can I go 8 months without touching her or kissing her? Of course, I can’t but we need the money. Realizing I don’t have any other option, I start to get up and make my way to the door.

“When do we leave?”

“This Saturday”

“Of fucking course.”

I walked back into the kitchen and kissed Y/N on the forehead.

“Everything okay?”

“We gotta talk angel.”

Y/N POV

“8 Months? Baby that's not too terrible.”

“You’re….You’re okay with it?”

“I mean I’m not excited about it, being away from you for so long does give me some anxiety but I trust you, my love. You’ve never given me a reason not to and you know I’ll be right here waiting for you when you come back.”

Noah seemed a little taken aback by my reaction to the news but I couldn’t help it. I’m trying to work on keeping myself together and not falling apart with every piece of bad news I receive. And even though it’s killing me deep down that he has to leave, I need to understand this is his line of work.

Noah got up and hugged me, I felt a few tears drop down onto my head. I looked up at Noah and caressed his face.

“Baby I’ll be here waiting for you. Okay?”

“Promise?”

“I promise”

The rest of the band started to make their way to the house and go over the details for this. I never realized how much planning goes into a long tour but it does make sense. I stuck around for a bit and hung out with everyone. I wanted to enjoy the last two days with Noah before he had to leave but as the clock hit midnight it made me realize I only had one day left. The anxiety began to creep up on me and I felt it was best to go up to the room and try to sleep it off. I got up trying not to draw too much attention to myself but of course, Noah noticed.

I got up to the room and went to shut the door but a hand stopped it from closing completely. When I turned around I saw Noah in the doorway right behind waiting for an explanation.

“Baby?”

I tried to brush it off as nothing but he knew better

“Y/N please talk to me.”

Noah gently guided my hand making me move over to our bed. We sat down and just looked into each other’s eyes. At this point, I think both of us realized what needed to be said, especially since there were tears in mine. Pulling me close to him I no longer could hold in my feelings.

“Noah I don’t know if I can do this,” I said, crying into his chest.

“I know, baby, but it's something we have to do. These 8 months will go by quickly, and before you know it, it will be in California with our toes in the sand. That'll be the first thing we do.”

“Promise?”

“I promise”

The thought of our new life starting soon made me so happy. It's only 8 months we can do this. We both calmed down and started talking about all the things we should do before he left. Our favorite diner, the park where we took our first pictures together. We’re gonna do all of it tomorrow. Hopefully, it will help make the final departure from each other easier. I was stuck in my thoughts when Noah's voice brought me back to reality.

“Baby”

“Yea?”

“There's one thing I want us to do before I leave,” Noah said, sitting up

“What's that?”

Noah laid down on top of me and began kissing me passionately. Things were very heated between us and I could feel Noah's hand slowly make its way down my body. Lifting my shirt to reveal my breasts, Noah’s soft lips left mine and began kissing my nipples. I let out what I thought was an embarrassing moan, but it made him smile.

“Oh baby please don’t be shy, it’s just me and you. I need to know that what I do to you feels good. Let me hear you.”

As Noah said that, his hand slipped under my dress, fingertips caressing my inner thigh. My breath hitched, my heart racing as I felt him reach the apex of my thighs, panties damp. Pulling the material to the side, he swiped his fingers through my drenched folds, my slick gathering on his fingers to bring them up and around my swollen clit.

My hands shot to his forearm for purchase as my head fell back, jaw slack. There was a pause as two expertly long fingers pushed inside me, causing me to cry out, my walls clamping tight around him.

“That's right, baby, let it out.”

Noah's pace began to pick up, making me arch my back. An unfamiliar feeling began to fill my lower stomach, a feeling I didn't want to go away.

“N- Noah” I whimpered

“Cum for me baby.”

I covered my face and let out a cry. I could hear Noah giggling because he knew what he did to me. Crashing his lips into mine, I could feel his hard cock near my folds. I wanted him more than anything, but being a virgin made me so nervous, I wasn't experienced and had no clue what to do. I could feel my body tense up at the thought of this but Noah's reassuring words helped me relax

“We don't have to do this.”

“I'm not going 8 months without feeling you. I want this.”

“I'm not going to lie to you, my love. It's gonna sting, and you are going to bleed.

“I know.”

“Okay, just know, no matter what happens, it's okay. Alright?”

“Noah. Make love to me please”

Noah kissed me one last time before sliding his cock into me. God he wasn't kidding the sting was almost unbearable.

“Hold on to me, my love, I promise the pain will stop”

I dug my fingernails into his back, trying to distract myself from the pain. Each thrust felt like he went deeper and deeper. By the fourth thrust, the pain turned into tear-jerking pleasure. The sound of Noah moaning mixed with the pleasure that painted his face made this all the better. I could feel that now familiar sensation build up with each thrust

“Noah. Noah Baby, I'm so close”

“Me to my love, look at me”

Our eyes met as we both shared a soul-binding orgasm. Noah fell to the side and pulled me in for a hot and sweaty hug. Kissing me on my cheek, I could see that he was blushing.

“Are you alright?”

“Of course, my angel. I just love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

We lay there for hours talking about us and how we knew we were in this for good. Our future, our dreams, and California. Everything will be better in Cali. The sun started to rise, telling us it was a new day. Also, letting us know that this was our last day together.

“I don't want this night to end,” I said, holding him close.

“Don’t worry, my love, this is the first of many,” he said, smiling while kissing my nose.

We got out and went to clean ourselves off. I would be lying if I said we didn't try to do it once more time in the shower. Well, let's just say soap and sex do not mix. Noah ended up slipping and fell out of the shower, taking down the curtain and me with him. Normally, in a situation where people would be mad, we were able to find the humor in it.

“Okay never again in the shower”

“Agreed,” I said, trying to get off of him.

We laughed and realized we probably woke the whole house up. Finishing up in the bathroom, we got dressed and went back to the room. Noah's alarm went off letting him know it was time for us to get ready. We were supposed to meet the band for breakfast. Noah shut his phone off and grabbed me.

“Come here, you”

“Noah quit it” I giggled

“Nope, you're mine now.”

“You know Matt gonna be pissed if we miss the meeting.”

“He’ll be alright,” Noah said, getting on top of me

“You know you're my everything, right?”

“Of course I do.”

Noah began kissing me when I felt something slide on my right ring finger. When I looked down, I saw it was a little diamond ring.

“Noah?”

“It's not a wedding ring, I know you're not ready for that. It's a promise ring.”

“What kind of promise?”

“A promise that I'm yours and only yours and I will dedicate my life to us. A promise that one day you will walk down that aisle to me and say I do.”

He's giving me a promise. I know he’ll keep it. Mama and Papa were wrong, This man is my angel.

“I love you”

“I love you too”

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

Sorry guys, I didn't realize how long this one was. I hope you all enjoy 🩵 shouting out to @reyadawn for helping me 🩵🩵 love you bestie

@reyadawn @bloodylullaby @fadingintothegrey @chey-h @thisbicc @hurricanesfollowyou @supersquirrel1996 @dreamstyles

[sunlightandsuffering]

Sorry to ask but I miss Christmas Chaos so much. I miss little Nico and his shenanigans… when will we get an update on the goober?

AHAHAHA aww it always makes me smile how much y'all like the little gremlins I write lmfao!!

Eren experiences his first fight with his child for the most ridiculous of reasons. Sure, he'd realized that at some point the whole fatherhood thing wasn't going to be sunshine and rainbows and Nico would most certainly have vengeful tantrums. He'd just thought it would be over something more reasonable.

Apparently not.

It's been twenty minute and his child is giving him the stink eye. Bundled up in green gumboots a pair of dinosaur shorts, a blue shirt that proudly declares 'Fisherman', and a neon orange life vest Nico watches Eren expectantly.

"Did you catch anything yet?" Nico demands expectantly and Eren breathes out a sigh, the third time in ten minutes. This is partly his fault though, no one said taking first graders fishing was a good idea. They simply don't have the patience or the prefrontal cortex for it. "No," Nico tells him and Nico's glare somehow worsens, mirroring that of his mother when Eren forgets to take the garbage out or leaves her in the morning without a kiss. "Nico, buddy that's not how this works, we have to wait for a fish," Eren bargains with the little boy.

God he hasn't seeked anyone's approval this hard since high school when he wanted to impress his father after Zeke came back into their lives, fuck. Nico sniffs, turning his head out towards the infinite blue of the lake. The final nail in the coffin is when the little boy drops his fishing rod to the bottom of the boat, toeing it away from his presence like it's personally offended him.

"Nico," Eren tries again, he'd wanted this to be a bonding experience, reminiscing on his own summer days out on the boat with his dad. But now that he thinks about it, maybe he'd been a little older when they'd done that.

"I guess you're not as good as mommy said you were." It's a shot to Eren's heart, and he immediately renews his fishing efforts, reeling his line in so he can cast again. He's going to catch this little fucker a fish if it's the last thing he does, if only out of pure spite at this point. "I'm a great fisherman, I showed you the pictures right?" Nico sends him an almost disbelieving glance, green eyes doubtful before turning back to the wonders of the lake, "You looked a little younger in those pictures daddy, I'm not sure you've still got it." Fuck, children are evil, pure evil, and observant as hell. Everything this kid says is ripping his confidence to shreds because he's not fucking wrong, not in the slightest.

Eren hasn't fished in probably two years. He'd given up the hobby mostly during teaching school, there wasn't time to trek out to the lake or the river for hours on end just to catch a small trout or if he was lucky a bass.

Eren winces, pulling his rod back for another cast, "Why don't you try again with your rod buddy, you'll have fun." "I'm okay," Nico mumbles, leaning over the boat to dip a finger into the water, "I'll just wait for you."

God it's the disappointment that's by far the worst part, who knew gleaning your child's own approval would be so hard.

It's killing him inside, he's gotta catch this kid a fish.

Its not even been an hour since they got out here, maybe 40 minutes maximum.

Fuck, he should have listened to Mikasa when she said he might be a bit young for fishing, why hadn't he listened to the boy's mother? Famous last words. Eren does not in fact catch a fish, no matter how mnay different areas he moves the boat, or how many fish he sees other nearby boatgoers catch, the fish seem to absolutely loathe him today. He goes back to the dock heartbroken, even more so as Nico steps out of the boat primly, going almost immediatley to Mikasa's awaiting arms. She hugs him, that bright smile on her face as she asks them both about their adventures, "How did my boys do? Anything I'll be cooking up for dinner tonight?" "No Mommy, Daddy's not the best fisherman," Nico comments before burying his head in her waist, and Mikasa fucking laughs. She notices his forlorn look a few minutes later when she sends Nico back up to their campsite, and she's borderline cackling as she slides her arms around his waist, looking up at him mischievously. "Bad day?" "He hated it, ugh," Eren groans, dropping his fishing gear to the dock and letting himself be comforted by his very beautiful wife, he's ffucking moping. Mikasa laughs, the tinkling of bells in his ears as she kisses her way up his neck before placing a chaste peck at the corner of his mouth. "That'll happen sometimes, get used to it baby." "It really fucking sucks." Mikasa cackles now, "First time it happened to me was when I brought him to an amusement park. Kid fucking HATED it." "Really?" Eren pulls back, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, "An amusement park?"

"Yeah, too loud," Mikasa chuckles, "I paid all this money and he was miserable all day, we left early actually." "Seriously?" Eren asks, tugging her further into his arms, his hands not so conspicuously running over her ass. She swats him for it, but she doesn't bother to move his hands. He smiles into the crown of her hair and she snuggles further into him, "Yep, and let's not forget my attempts at tennis lessons, I thought he could be a child prodigy but what a mistake that was." Eren barks out a laugh, "Is that why he's always glaring at the tennis equipment in the garage?" Mikasa nods against his chest, "Yup! he thinks i'm gonna send him back." "Let's hope not." She bites his shoulder playfully, "Well with your luck now Yeager he's going to be glaring at the fishing equipment."

He swats her ass this time and she squeaks, "I've still got time." "That's what I said about tennis." "We could raise a fishing tennis prodigy yet Miki." "Sure." It's nice to know he's not the only one, and he's sure Mikasa feels the same, parenting isn't exactly easy, and despite what his early childhood education classes would have him believe, it's not quite as straightforward as employing Vygotsky and Piaget at every turn and gentle parenting the shit out of kids. Sometimes it's difficult, and disappointing and very much not rewarding when his little gremlin of a child stonewalls him fromt he other end of the boat, but it's still his kid either way and he sure does love the little brat.

[toxinoire]

How do you think the Heathers, Veronica, and Kurt and Ram’s ghosts reacted to Kurt and Rams Funeral?

(assume Heather didnt die)

Before the funeral:

"Hey Heather, how do you feel knowing that your boyfriend was gay for his linebacker?" Asked Heather.

"In all honesty?" Said Heather. "It stings, but I'm not shocked."

"Is anyone, really?" Heather rolled her eyes. "I'm pretty sure they've sucked each other's-"

"Heather stop." Said Veronica.

"Good job, Veronica. Now people think we're gay!" Kurt groaned.

"This is the worst!" Ram dramatically sobbed.

Beginning of Dead Gay Son:

"You wait just a minute Paul!" Bill yelled, shocking everyone. "It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this place a world our boys could not live in!"

Huh?

"Wait, is my dad letting this happen????" Ram looked so offended it was funny.

"Wow, never thought he'd be fine with it, considering..." Veronica trailed off.

"That he's a misogynist?" Heather continued. "I know."

During that moment of DGS:

"Paul I can't believe that you still refuse to get a clue. After all that we've been through, I'm talking you and ME!" Bill emphasized.

The crowd fucking gasps.

"In the summer of 83."

The gasp worsens.

"That-" Paul pauses. "Was one hell of a fishing trip."

They immediately wrap their arms around each other and pull each other in for a kiss.

Woah

Woah

Woah

Woah

Woah

Woah

"Woah." Heather, Heather, Heather and Veronica mutter. Kurt and Ram on the other hand are slack jawed. It's ridiculous.

"I...did not expect this." Said Heather.

"And the plot thickens." Said Heather.

Veronica does not know if she could handle any more of this.

~~~

This is the best I could do, sorry.

[ahoppingmagician]

Yo another Helluva Boss Rant, Part Five thousand.

People are really out here saying we can't watch Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel as if they are some holy artefact. This may sound harsh but fuck off with that bullshit. Any show, movie, comic, and artist can be criticised for anything, yes some criticism is unhelpful I'll give you that, but at the end of the day, people can give their opinion on anything. Also, hate watching is a thing, a great example would be watching a bad movie because you love how horrible it is for example The Room, The Twilight movies, The 50 Shades of Grey Movies, or Any Disney Live Action Remake. All of these are absolute trash heaps but most people watch them over and over again because it's something to laugh at for a good while.

Vivzipop is a horrible person.

I might be harassed for a while but it needs to be said Viv is a horrible employer and person. She pays her animation staff dirt for all the hours they slave away on her intricate character designs, the fast paced action scenes, the more "heartfelt" scenes only to get low pay. Also her stopping her employees from finding better work like Lackadaisy, as we seen with the discord chat where an animator was explained to that Viv called them words like manic, insane, crazy just so they could find no other opportunities forcing them to stay with her. That isn't how you treat anyone, and if you think differently then I'm sorry to break it to you you're a bad person.

Of course the ableism, look as someone who has been called the R word multiple times in my life, I'm not offended by it being used in an adult show but only if you make it clear that it is a harmful word, unlike Viv who constantly teases the word as if it's funny to say, but like the coward she is never says it. JUST SAY IT AND BE DONE WITH IT. Yes I'll bust your balls about it but atleast it proves to me that you have some gumption.

I'm not a POC I'm far from it but I feel like this show can give people the wrong idea about women of colour. For Example, Millie is a bloodthirsty and adoring wife, but that's it she doesn't appear unless her husband is around or even does anything without Moxxie's approval. Also, it paints her as aggressive which is a common stereotype of black women. Verosika is a bitter ex of Blitzo and nothing more, wait I forgot a woman who enjoys sex. Now there is nothing wrong with sex or sex workers but again at this time that is all she is in the show and of course a discussion can be held about the objectification of POC in a sexual manner. Also Barbie....who is a fucking groomer and addict. These are three Canon Women of Colour and that's what we got, in my opinion not a good enough representation, because all these female characters are one note and objectively horrible people, also all are painted as angry and all of them have had at least two comments about their sex lives.

If these don't prove that Vivien M is not atleast a a ignorant person or at worst a awful human being then I can't explain to you anything, because your just choosing to be blind to reality.

As always you look great today/ tonight. l, have a wonderful day/night, and praise the frog lord.

[thecoolerliauditore]

Sorry someone asked me about the self harm post and I got really out of hand writing stuff that wasn't really relevant and just mansplaining how I view double life's mechanics in a metaphorical sense as a whole. This really is not anything but I feel like I wrote too much to just delete it now so here

Scared that this is gonna be someone else's bdubs unsweetened lemonade situation but:

double life's mechanic, in essence, is "your life and wellbeing have direct impact on someone else" so when you combine that with the players actions and how they abuse the mechanic to control and punish their soulmates, you get some pretty cool stuff that could be translated into symbolism. If you're insane, of course.

I feel like I should note that I'm not going to go into the queer reading of double life and the anti-soulmate themes because I feel like other people have summed that up better than I could even though I do feel like that is one of the strongest reads of anything in the series. For the sake of argument we're going to be equating a soulbound with someone you have a genuine connection with emotionally and not just your watcher government assigned husband because I do think both are applicable to every soulbound pair in the series.

so with that being said a good chunk of the players, the worst offenders being divorce quartet, instead of seeing their soulbound as a reason to be more careful use their physical pain to punish their respective partners, while hurting themselves in the process.

Scott + Cleo are the most straightforward example, to me. They feel snubbed by Pearl and Martyn so they "teach them a lesson" by hurting themselves, knowing that it will impact their partners. They also enable and push eachother to get more and more dramatic with their "punishments", i.e. through the mutual axe crit morning routine they'd established. They call themselves chosen soulmates but through both the axe crits and other behaviour (e.g. cleo admitting she was "using" scott) it is shown that they don't truly Care For eachother, rather that they simply need eachother to enable themselves.

Pearl is also pretty straightforward: Scott hurts her, so she hurts him back. Despite her gleeful mocking and giggling through it all I'd argue this is not something Pearl ever really wanted to do, especially since the soulbound isn't the only way Scott hurts her in the series (I'd even argue him socially isolating her is worse than the axe crits) and this is the only thing Pearl has to get back at him -- through hurting herself. I also think it's kind of fucked that despite the fact Scott is hurt by this (as in the mechanics apply to him), he always treats it as more of an annoyance until it gets to the point where he's worried about his own life (e.g. when joel chases down pearl, scott specifically yells "Pearl run! MY life isn't worth it!")

It almost becomes this messed up toxic competition for Scott and Pearl to see who can push things further. There's this one part I think about alot where Pearl is doing her usual powdered snow tick damage ("just a tickle", as she puts it) and Scott leaps off a massive cliff and takes out a huge chunk of their healthbar to get her to stop. And he does this all without saying a word.

Martyn is kind of the outlier as the one who engaged in hurting himself the least and even Cleo chills on the axe crits after awhile, I like to think due to her and Martyn's conversation on the bridge and her realising what she is doing isn't fair to him. However, Martyn is not without his own demons since his first reaction to Cleo teaming with Scott was to fucking start hitting her, despite the damage reflecting back onto him (he even pulls out an axe and starts going for crits).

seriously though I haven't seen anyone else comment on this. what the fuck man.

Martyn continues with this later as well, when he catches Scott and Cleo in the middle of one of their axe crit routines and, once they explain what they're doing, starts hitting Cleo again (again, despite the damage reflecting onto him and having just taken an axe crit). This part was especially interesting to me because he never hits Scott even though he's the logical target (no soulbound), the one who actually did the axe crit and just as responsible for the split as Cleo, but afaik he never lays a hand on him.

In fact I'd even say it's worth noting that Martyn is almost on friendly terms with Scott, despite talking behind his back. When Cleo and Pearl get into a game of chicken to see who can stay longest in a pile of powdered snow, Martyn and Scott suddenly start taking damage and, instead of getting angry at their soulbounds (like Scott and Cleo had at the start of the series), Martyn places down his own powdered snow and asks Scott if he wants to do it too, to which Scott giggles and agrees. It seems like Martyn is more or less only concerned about His soulbound.

Like Cleo slowing down and eventually stopping with her axe crits, Martyn stops hitting her after awhile too.

Now while I do realise the imagery is very uncomfortable, it's worth noting that Martyn hitting Cleo is pretty much equivalent to Cleo hurting herself to get back at him, if anything Martyn hitting her does less damage. So at least in the confines of this post the comparison is less beating your wife = cutting yourself and more "here are two people who do mutual harm onto one another, with different methods but the same outcome".

Cleo is also pretty smug through the whole thing and doesn't seem emotionally impacted whatsoever by Martyn hitting her (aside from taking offense) and the two make up relatively quickly as well. What I'm trying to say is Martyn Wifebeater Littlewood is not real but he does suck. It's not Literal physical abuse and it's not Literal self-harm. Other than in Pearl's case I think you could make a case for that literally being the equivalent of her hurting herself because it's all she has to get back at Scott with.

This also opens up a good question of: if hurting their soulbounds is the goal, why aren't all of them doing what Martyn is doing? After all the outcome is the same, the method is just more direct. There's this interesting point here I think then of Martyn being the most outwardly hostile of the four, but also the most direct and willing to communicate, even if he does it in a really awful way.

ALTERNATIVELY that is literally what is happening and both Martyn and Cleo are just insane people.

Outside of the divorce quartet, things get even muddier.

I feel like one of the pitfalls for the purposeful self-damage = self-harm take actually comes from Etho and Joel, early on in the series when Joel is building the RelationShip. Etho purposefully jumps off a ledge to do fall damage to Joel everytime Joel takes damage while building to "teach him a lesson", according to him. He even does this in front of people whose reactions range from amused to slightly taken aback.

Now this could easily be read as controlling behaviour but I feel like that would be severely out of character for etho, who historically has not wanted anything to do with team-ups on any level past convenience. It could be argued that this is what the soulbound system brings out of him now that he is forced to keep track of one other person (and imo he's pretty clear he doesn't care deeply for joel as a soulbound whatsoever) but he is otherwise so unbothered with anything Joel does and, if anything, let's Joel lead their decision-making ("the ship burns, everything burns" was certainly not etho's doing).

The damage he does to himself + Joel is also minimal enough that it doesn't ever get to the point of worrying either of them past being annoying and it's not something Etho does for more than one or two episodes.

So with that what I'm trying to say is there's definitely wiggle room for what it means for individual soulbounds and its overall impact seems to be very dependent on who is doing it and what the intent is behind it.

Which is relevant for the last pair I feel like this is especially important to: Scar and Grian. What does, for example, Scar showing Pearl the powdered snow signify? Is he enabling her like Cleo and Scott with eachother? Is he doing it out of amusement? Does he relate to her plight with Scott due to his own situation with Grian and want to feel some sort of second-hand justice?

It's not really clear, especially added to him hurting himself to get back at Grian for the cheating thing. I'll be honest I'm very scared in general of speaking on Scar's character because he's kind of an enigma to me and I've heard every take on earth about what he actually is like.

There's definitely more to talk about here but this is too long lmao chile

[barbi2709]

Internal jokes with my friends I wanna explain to TXT

Disclaimer: This and each of my stories are only fiction and are not intended to offend or make anyone uncomfortable, if this type of content makes you uncomfortable, feel free to leave without resentment :]

Genre: Crack (?)

a/n: Lol, I just thought about this a few minutes ago and it's so silly, sadly our internal jokes are in Spanish bc we're Mexicans but I did my best trying to explain it, sorry if it's not funny but if you're Hispanic it'd make sense I guess

[🌱] Choi Yeonjun

"Al power point"

So this is an evolution

In Mexico we have our own way of saying "Fr" which is "al chile"

So my friends and I made it evolution.

It passed from "al chile" to "al chili dog"

And then it passed to "al power point"

Let's be real, Yeonjun LIKES the dad's jokes

And even if this is not one of them, the fact that he's saying it while make it sound like a dad's joke.

Like imagine the members faces if they're gossiping about something and Yeonjun just says "al power point" out of nowhere

I can see Soobin's nasty look already

(rest of the members under the cut)

[🌱] Choi Soobin

"Que risa cepillin"

Now this HAS context

Like, a lot

So it all started with this video (sfw link ig)

Translation of the video: Uhhhhh, It reminds me of my childhood, when I was in kindergarten and we did a play. Haaaaaaaa! What a laugh cepillin, you're a fool and stupid

Now, Cepillin is an icon in Mexico, he was a kids comedian who used to do TV variety shows and stuff

So the video is a meme of a hater of cepillin calling him stupid and "naco" (It doesn't have a literal translation, but it's used to refer to someone of very low class and without manners)

So my friends and I use it ALL the THE TIME when someone makes a bad joke

We just say like "Que risa cepillin, con tus payasadas" With The most sarcastic grin and then we drop the smile inmediatly

Believe me, it's hilarious

I'd explain it to Soobin bc mf is sassy as hell

"Beomgyu is too bratty to know that he's an introvert and Soobin is too introverted to know he's bratty too"

So I see him making fun of the members with this

Like, someone made the worst joke ever (Yeonjun saying "al power point" lmao)

And he'll just go "Que risa cepillin 😀😐"

[🌱] Choi Beomgyu

"Cállate la bola"

Okay it literally means "shut the ball up"

Here comes the context:

So I had a sociology teacher that wasn't from Mexico (He was from Ecuador or Perú, idk & idc)

And whenever the class got too loud he shouted "Chicos, parenme bola!"

The literal translation is "Stop my ball"

But it's used as a way to say "Guys, pay attention"

But here in Mexico it sounds really bad lmao

Bc you're literally saying "stop my ball"

That kind of ball

So we make fun of it

So now my friends and I say "Cállate la bola" even if we're not talking at all lol

I would explain this to Beomgyu bc he's so loud and literally teases someone every time he breaths

So I think he'd say it to the members every 3 seconds even if they're not talking 💀

[🌱] Kang Taehyun

"Totn"

Okay so, this started for a friend that texts like shit

Like, she wrote once that she was heterogeneous instead of heterosexual (straight)

So that happened, instead of writing "tonta/tonto" (silly or stupid), she wrote "totn" which can be pronounced like "toten"

And we started saying it all the time like, "Fucking totn" or "Que totn" (what a totn)

I see Taehyun using this one because I don't see him as someone who swears a lot.

So this "insult" is perfect for him

Like, I can see him making fun of one of the members mistake, like, chuckling with a shit eating smirk and saying "Ha, totn" or even "Fucking totn"

[🌱] Kai Kamal Huening

Any Spanish word with the termination "eta/ete"

Example:

Cocina (kitchen) = cocineta

Lápiz (pencil) = lapicete

So, idk if Kai swears

Like, ik I'm babying him but let's say he doesn't

So my friends are ALWAYS adding and "eta/ete" to EVERYTHING

With the most annoying tone ever I swear

So I see Kai doing the same to tease his members

Especially with fake aegyo

Something like "Can I have the manzaneta?" (manzana = apple) while doing aegyo

His members are so tired of him by now

Like he'll call them "miembretes" as "miembros" (members) when he wants to taste the patience

I also see him saying "ojete" as "ojo" which means eye, but "ojete" means anus LMAO

[pillarsalt]

i know this is like, completely out of nowhere, but do you have any tips for building up confidence and self-esteem as a woman? i find myself constantly apologizing to everyone for even the smallest of infractions, i feel really guilty for no discernible reason most of the time, and the worst part is i don't even know why i do it. i guess a big part of it is that i'm autistic, i don't have an innate sense of the minutia of what's socially acceptable or not, so i always try to pick the easiest, safest option that nobody could possibly misinterpret, which is just being a doormat most of the time. i hate it: people constantly speak over me, ignore what i say and treat me more like an object than a person, but it's the only thing i know how to hold onto so i'm not completely shooting in the dark socially, i've been doing it since i was a little kid. i know i should grow a spine and be myself, but fuck, nobody wants to be the clueless weirdo who doesn't even notice she's a nuisance

Hey anon, thank you for reaching out. I struggled and still struggle with a lot of the same stuff. Often I feel sort of like I have to justify my existence wherever I am; I have to be the friendliest and most helpful I can be, otherwise I'll just be taking up space and people won't like me. What could be worse than people not liking me?? I also overanalyze social interactions I've had and agonized over whether I've offended someone or if my words were interpreted incorrectly.

But these are things we have no control over, and obsessing over things you can't control only leads to a worse and worse state of mind. It's a vicious cycle: when you feed into unhealthy thoughts, you're cementing that mental pathway. It's more comfortable to think in your usual twisted way than it is to climb out of that rut and try to see things another way. It's really important to climb out. It's the same with apologizing, I also am trying to stop saying sorry so much, hard work but you can do it too. You're not at fault by default, you're doing your best like everyone else and that's nothing to apologize for.

Unfortunately, and I hate this as much as you do, the solution is to not give a fuck. Since initially that's impossible, you have to PRETEND not to give a fuck. Speak loudly like you don't care who hears you, say what you think even if you might embarrass yourself a bit, take up space. Walk with your head high and a strong stride. You are a whole entire person and you deserve to be heard and seen as much as anyone else. This is your world too!

I have a friend who also has a low awareness of social niceties, she's very brash and sometimes says things that can kinda sting just because she's so brutally honest even when she's joking. But I know she doesn't do it to be unkind, so I don't hold it against her, it's just who she is. In my view, if I afford this grace to other people, I should also be given that room to make mistakes, so long as I'm not being unpleasant purposefully. My friends have been annoying or rude before but I still like them and think their good traits outweigh the bad by a ton... why shouldn't I assume that they feel the same about me?

And in the end, if someone doesn't like you, that's their loss. There are billions of people in the world, you will absolutely find people who love you for exactly who you are. Don't pare yourself down to fit in, let all of your beautiful branches grow up and out.

[additiva]

I personally think it’s more to do with English is more of a second language to a lot of them? No matter how long they have spoken it is practically native or it working in an English-dominated environment.

English is my second language. In my language there exists a word that literally means fuck, the action. But it’s commonly used as the dirtiest? worst? in mostly extreme expression of anger/surprise, same as fuck, it’s pluggable everywhere, than being used referring to sexual intercourse. It’s considered extremely bad manners for a woman to use it, for men it’s more common between them under informal circumstances and off-camera obviously, but still it’s normal to think even men using them as “he has a foul mouth”. And no one would dare to use it in front of parents lol. It’s quite unimaginable for anyone or any reality show or competition broadcasted in my language to use it, of course people lip-read, like in football but so long it’s not “said” to the camera out loud or situation so extreme people wouldn’t deem it uncalled for, no one wants to end their careers for having a foul mouth.

I almost never use it, even when I’m alone at home. But for me now as an adult 30ish the English equivalent “fuck” is just an exclamation of frustration, I even use it in front of my parents, they know the meaning but so long the same word is not said in my language, they don’t care. It carries little significance for me, for my parents and close friends, they see me using it as a picked-up foreign swear word. And I felt ok watching shows with a lot of swearing in English, if they speak this way in my language on a show I might not be able to continue I think, it would be like there’s no point swearing this much that making me uncomfortable.

Weirdly I first learned fuck when I was studying abroad at an international school in north Europe. I was around 10, I learned fuck and shit and the middle-finger from my classmates. They taught me and I used it back at them, and they were very offended and the teacher, she was American, was telling me I can’t do that.

I also don’t care much for what they say in the car, physical and emotional tensions are high, and sometimes people do say things they don’t mean under such situations, and the way f1 just pick and choose what to show leaves a lot of room for manipulation in the media. I know it’s probably because otherwise f1 would be even more boring for casual audience just watching the car, of course they have to throw meat to the wolves for entertainment by broadcasting this way, doesn’t make me like it.

This got so long lmao. I think I was trying to say I understand your feeling, even though it sometimes feels to me as a foreigner swearing is so normal in the English language, and I feel ok about the drivers doing it, but still weird to be that way in a competition/show broadcast in your native tongue.

This is EXACTLY it. This is exactly what I mean.

I read a study one time saying that everything carries less emotional impact in a non-native language. For example, people don't respond as strongly to hearing those sorts of words, but also 'i love you' 'im sorry' etc in a non-native language, because the same emotional and cultural attachments aren't there. And I think it's sort of the same thing.

I personally am not offended by it I think it sort of adds flavour. But to a lot of people it is offensive. I still don't say fuck in front of my parents, and I don't say cunt to anyone. I'm uncomfortable even writing or reading it. I hate reading it when it's thrown around a lot in fics I read, because it triggers an uncomfortable reaction in my brain. Because I was raised to know that it's the worst word in the English language.

In school, or at a normal work-place, even if something surprises you, or you get hurt, or angry, you still can't use them. And when I had students from other countries in my school in my native country, they would get in a lot of trouble, because in English, they're really bad words.

I wouldn't be offended to hear or use the really bad words in your language, but I also would never tell you that they're not bad, just because they don't have that impact on ME.

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Do you have any headcanons for s/o who can’t cook like, they will burn the kitchen or mess everything up. They feel bad for it though, she/they for the s/o and Raph + Mikey! Thank you.

I found that writing this was absolutely hilarious because I was literally in culinary school. So I know all of the worst ways to fuck up your food. Don't leave a pot of boiling milk unattended kids. I'm back from my long as shit hiatus. It's nice to see all of you again 💖

TMNT Headcanons

S/O who can't cook for shit but they're trying okay? Their best just isn't great.

Michaelangelo

okay okay okay

Mikey can totally excuse being a bad cook, it's perfectly fine with him

he's great at it so it's not a big deal that you aren't

but

oh my god you suck at it

like he understands you're doing your best and he's proud of you for that

reasonably though, how the fuck do you forget to put water in cup mac and cheese??

and he loves that you want to cook for him because he likes doing it for you, it's a love language, it's cute, everyone's on board with it

thats all well and good

but after 72 burnt dinners, 8 kitchen fires, and 35 choking instances maybe you should consider just buying him a pizza and calling it a day

and you feel awful about it because you just want to show him you love him and at this point as much as you're aware that you suck at cooking you're way too stubborn to admit that to anyone

of course Mikey is way too sweet to say it to your face

he loves you too much to hurt your feelings

but he isn't above ordering takeout everytime before you come over to hang out

and I think at this point you're aware that he's doing it on purpose

hell it's happened everytime you've come over for the last 3 months

are you offended by it?

a little bit, yeah

but you know that if you confront him about it you're basically admitting that you know that you suck at cooking

so eventually you start ordering takeout before going over and presenting it as your own

everyone knows it's a lie

you're fine with that, as long as he thanks you for bringing food you have no complaints

and no, you're not allowed anywhere near the kitchen without at least 2 of the brothers supervising you

Raphael

look

this guy will eat almost anything

he needs the calories

and he has admitted to you on more than one occasion that he would resort to cannibalism if you two were in an apocalypse together

you mostly argue that you probably wouldn't taste very good but he doesn't seem to care

you're not really sure if that's concerning to you or not

so he will eat almost anything you make, majority of the time without any complaint

is he aware that your food sucks

yes

are you aware that he thinks that

also yes

but you both know that if he doesn't have food in his system he turns into a massive bitch

he does often have to carry around a fire extinguisher whenever you're "making something"

honestly he's pretty sure all of the smoke you've been inhaling from your burned dishes has caused you permanent brain damage and that's why your food has been progressively getting worse

he will at some point sit you down and ask you that you let someone else handle the cooking from now on

and you cry

but you're actually relieved

because as bad as you are at cooking you hate doing it even more

you were just trying to find another way to say I love you to him that didn't involve sarcasm

you mostly just buy him snacks now, anything prepackaged is good

Wow am I out of practice. I'm not sure if this is any good and I'm confident that it is not my best work. But I have to start again somewhere. I'm sorry for letting this sit for so long but I do hope you enjoy it. Thank you for all the patience.

-Mars 🌌

[leogichidaa]

15 Questions 15 People

Thanks for tagging me @anemicc-royalty and @allalrightagain :)

Are you named after anyone? My mother gave me the middle name her parents gave her at birth. From the time she was a baby, her parents called her an amalgamation of her first name and a shortened version of her middle name, so she had it legally changed as a kid to what everyone called her anyway and no longer has a middle name. My middle name is her original middle name. I kept it after I legally changed my first name because otherwise I think I would be obligated to give it to my child and continue the cycle. Also, I am fond of it.

When was the last time you cried? Probably Wednesday. I usually cry every day, but the last couple of days have been weird. I may have stopped feeling human emotions. Too early to tell.

Do you have kids? Not yet. Not in a place for them fiscally, emotionally, or temporally. I want to adopt.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? sometimes? A normal amount? Probably? My siblings are some of the snarkiest mother fuckers out there and I am comparatively sincere.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? I notice different things first about different people. I think hair is the thing that most often stands out to me first.

What’s your eye colour? Blue. When I wore contacts strangers would comment on how blue my eyes are. I'd be sitting in a meeting and someone would be like "oh sorry, I'm staring deeply into your eyes, haha, they're just so blue". The thin layer of refractive glass seems to deter this sort of intense eye contact.

Scary movies or happy ending? I do not enjoy being scared. I am scared all the time for free. Why would I spend time, energy, and money recreationally inducing one of the worst emotions there is? Hard pass. Happy ending wins by default.

Any special talents? When I'm high I feel certain that I can time travel. I can shove my entire fist in my mouth, but I'm not sure that's a talent per se. I have the best dreams.

Where were you born? Maryland, USA

What are your hobbies? writing, cross-stitching, obsessively daydreaming, climbing

Do you have any pets? Rex, my annoying slob of a cat. He's like my soul mate or something. Rosie belongs to SO, but spiritually she is also mine.

What sports do you play/have you played? I played basketball as a kid and I think I enjoyed it but my high school didn't have a team and I didn't care enough to play rec. I rock climb now, it is the best sport.

How tall are you? 5'10"

Favourite subject at school? I liked math until high school. We did geometry freshman year and I was like "no fucking thanks". I'm spatially challenged. English took the lead in high school and even after geometry was over, math never made up the ground.

Dream job? Clinical director of a rehabilitative residential program for juvenile offenders.

Tags (apologies if you've already been tagged, I got a quota to fill): @foratmysidewalkshope @casquecest @artemisia-black @ginnywasafriendofmine @green-and-grey-kenaz @ncoincidences @chocolatepot @bythehearts @coffeefrenchandhistory @broomsticks @narcissa-black-supermacy @padfootastic @limetimo @yletylyf @bluesundaycake

[mallowmaenad]

Patricia Taxxon Album Tier List

Here is my defininitive "that's like, just my opinion, man." tier list of Patricia Taxxon's discography, despite what she's said I found a lot of her pre-little spoon stuff interesting and I was noticing a lot of albums seemed related to each other, I can tell why she's annoyed Punk is so highly rated, she's done a lot of interesting and good plunderphonics albums that I think independently make good thematic points. I bullied Aeroplane and Xanthan Gum a lot on this list, moving them around between A, B and C as I changed my mind so I gave them a couple more listens to be sure. TECHDOG felt like such a bulwark, a lot of times when I was rating these I was thinking "It's good, but is it better than TECHDOG?"

Honestly I had a lot of weird feelings as I dug deeper into this, I have a weird anti-parasocial relationship with artists I like, any time I rated one of her older works higher than something more recent I felt a tinge of guilt as I imagined her getting offended at me for it. A lot of her older stuff is very somber and painful in a specific way I can empathize with and some of what Taxxon has said about making art really shines through her experiences with these albums. I don't want to say I feel closer to her or that I know her because, well as I said earlier, but it was exciting and fun to get to connect the dots.

My rating system obviously got a little unhinged so I guess I'll explain it if anyone actually gives a shit im not an art critic or something im just an unemployed house cat who loves music:

Not My Thing But Not Bad Per Se: Albums that fall into a genre I find too "out there" to understand or approach with "I dislike how this sounds but can understand that someone out there would really enjoy this, it's just not me" this is pretty much entirely all of her Drone stuff, I'm a big fan of Drone Metal but when it comes to pure Drone at best it's a bit boring and at worst it hurts my ears and brain in a way I don't enjoy.

D: Albums I actively disliked, I wanted to give these a fair shake but the idea of listening through them again just to be sure put a bad taste in my mouth. As part of this I also watched Arbuckle and the video essay The Killer was scored for, and I didn't really enjoy The Killer and associated it with parts of HBomberGuy's video that I intensely disliked. The only good thing I can say about it is that it's a Vsauce type beat. Trickle Down is a slightly more than okay album that shoots itself in the foot twice. I have a feeling both of these vibes for these albums could be intentional but that would require assuming the thought process of two youtubers I've never met before.

C: Okay, inoffensive, if I passed you the aux capable and you started playing these I wouldn't really feel one way or the other, the strongest feeling I get from these albums is "I don't get it" towards the end of the spectrum and "I could imagine shopping at a forever 21 to this music" at the start of it. I did not play Soul Waste as part of rating its score, sorry.

B: Pretty nice, I don't know if I could "jam" to it but I like the ideas these albums present and a lot of them I consider okay with two or three really good tracks, basically the antithesis of what I think about Trickle Down, I could see a lot of these being someone else's S-tiers

A: Very good, albums I will seek out and listen to in the future on a regular basis, albums that make me bob my head and say "fuck yeah I love this part!"

A+: Closer to an "honorable mentions" section of albums I think are amazing but fall just short of S tier for certain reasons, I think Pix and Bit is a very definitive PT album that showcases her style well, listening to all of these brought me a lot of joy.

As Good As Sex: The reason why Inhumane isn't in S tier is because I might have enjoyed it a little too much. It was an amazing sensory and psychological experience for me, but the album is also older and comes off as depressed and insecure in a raw way, I feel like if this album was a girl I'd think about flirting with it and asking it out but I know that she's not really in a good place right now to enter a serious relationship and doesn't take compliments well, but deep down, I still love her. I enjoyed spending time with her a lot.

S: Basically an A that I could feel on a deeper level and understand its themes, something more than just a vibe and get a full, satisfying understanding of. Stuff I could personally sympathize with or brought back certain feelings or memories all the while I was having a good time. I think part of why I said my B tier could be someone else's S tier is that I felt this way about Sir Pentagon but didn't think it was as good in other regards.

I don't have much to say about my Top 3 that isn't already obvious if you've listened to those albums. I'm an autistic transgender kitty cat that has struggled and failed in both art and relationships and my fucked up brain makes me call people I love nicknames that make people feel icky and I have gross autistic kinky kitty cat sex and that's fun but its also probably partially due to a lot of private and bleak circumstances of my life I don't want to talk about.

I think if you want to Get Into Patricia Taxxon I wouldn't recommend going down the list here from best to worst, I'd say start with Doremon and Pix & Bit, definetly Agnes and Hilda if you have the time, it gives you a good spread of her style if you don't have an entire day to chug TECHDOG 1-7, and unless you have a taste for outsider art or okayish bedroom pop-y vaporwavey indie stuff listen to her own words and don't pay her discography that came out before Little Spoon much mind, but I personally enjoyed a lot of it and it has a sound she doesn't really have anymore in her more polished stuff.

[andvys]

and i saved the most exciting one for dessert 🤭

There was one person that you hated more than anything, Steve Harrington. From the first moment you have laid your eyes on him, you just couldn’t stand him. You hated his cocky and arrogant personality, his perfect reputation, how sure of himself he always was. You hated King Steve, you hated the way he looked at you, you hated the way he used every opportunity to piss you off, he said things that he knew would get under your skin. 

OH MY GOD. ITS ENEMIES TO LOVERS. CONSIDER ME FUCKING DEAD ALREADY BYE 🥵🥵

“Aw,” he shrugs, throwing his arm around her shoulder, he turns back to you, giving you a small smirk, “I’m sorry, queen y/n.” 

oh he will be calling me queen once i'm done with him.

“I know, you’re a whore in virgin’s clothes.” 

HAHAHA HE GOT SO OFFENDED AS WELL LMAO

You are both so caught up in each other, you don’t notice the stolen glances between your boyfriend and his girlfriend, the longing gazes, the forbidden touches between the table as they reach for the other’s hand. 

the way jancy loves each other in every universe !! (except when nancy loves robin 👀)

He had suspicions but he didn’t want to dwell on them, not yet. But when he climbed up the wall to his girlfriend’s window, hoping to find her studying or listening to music, he didn’t find her doing any of those things. Instead, he caught her having sex with your boyfriend. 

TRAUMATIZING LITERALLY TRAUMATIZING

The moment he steps into his bathroom, he drops to his knees and pukes his lunch out. 

cheating is literally the worst :(

“You are a busy girl, Nancy Wheeler.”

girlie... if you only knew...

There he is, your boyfriend, shoving his tongue down your best friend’s throat. Both of them are half naked, her chest is covered in hickeys already, his hair is a mess, both of them moaning into each other’s mouths as she moves her hand into his pants. 

EW EW EW EW OH NO

“Fuck– y/n!” He scrambles to his feet, trying to find his shirt. 

you're clearly fucking nancy tho 😭

“You are fucking disgusting,” you mumble angrily, ignoring the heartbreak in your chest or the feeling of your throat getting tighter. The tears begin to spill and you look between them in shock. 

TELL THEM

“Y-You are such a–” He cuts you off by grabbing your cheeks and smashing his lips against yours, he kisses you roughly. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

His lips tastes like cheery coke and he smells so fucking good. 

oh yeah? proof? bring him over here 👁👅👁

“Yeah?” He rasps against your lips, “feeling’s mutual, honey. That’s okay, we don’t have to like each other, right?”

honey?? just like that i might be dead

“You will moan my name.” 

that a promise? 🤞

“Do it then because he never could.” 

THE SHADE ON JONATHAN 😭😭

“Fuck, you’re a little freak aren’t you?” He smirks darkly, “Byers couldn’t handle all of that, huh? Guess he wasn’t the freak after all, it was you.” 

😳😳 let's see if the big boy can handle her 🤭

“You shut up, princess. I’m not letting anyone fuck you, you’re mine tonight.” 

oh he's hot...

“God, fucking shut up and d–” He cuts you off, gripping your hips tighter, he licks up stripe up your pussy, moaning at your taste, “you shut up,” he mumbles before he buries his face in your cunt. Nudging his nose against your aching clit as he slips his tongue inside of you. 

them bickering when he has his face full of her is so adorable they'd make a great couple 🥰

“Good girl.” He mumbles, eyes twinkling with mischief when he sees your flustered expression, he feels you clench around his fingers as he pushes two inside of you, “fuck, you’re tight, how am I gonna fit inside of you?” 

NOT THE GOOD GIRL GOODBYE

King Steve is eating your pussy like his life is depending on it and he moans like a slut while doing so. Palming himself as he tastes you on his tongue and listens to you falling apart for him. 

he's such a whore i love him

“I haven’t even fucked you and your legs are already shaking.” 

SHVSDBSHSSISVSISVIWJS

“Can I suck your cock?” You ask, sliding your hand up his body, “I love sucking cock.” 

SHES SO BLUNT AND SO REAL

“Eddie Munson.” 

HES MAKES AN APPEARANCE!!!!

“Yeah, I mean who wouldn’t want to get his dick sucked by the head cheerleader?” You giggle, “he really liked it, came back for more.” 

this is my multiverse of madness

Steve chuckles darkly, gripping your jaw, he caresses your cheek, “oh, we’ll make it fit, honey.” 

OHOHOHO

“Poor baby, can’t take my big cock huh?” He teases with a smirk on his face that quickly falls again when you clench around him, causing him to stop moving, “f-fuck.” 

NO NO THE DIRTY TALK IS GONNA KILL ME

“Pound my pussy, Steve, ruin me.” 

oh.mygkdn? god? 😳

“Mhmm,” you whine, you reach for his hands, dragging them up to your neck, “choke me, daddy.” 

WHATSISGOINGON RIGTJI NOW IM DSPEECHLESS

You both need a moment to calm down from this. 

bitch I NEED A MOMENT TO CALM DOWN FROM THIS

He looks up at you, “I mean, I’m still inside of you and you are playing with my hair so yeah.” 

THEYRE SO CUTE

“You know what? I think we should’ve done that a long time ago,” Steve admits, “in fact I think we should do it again.” 

his daddy kink changed him as a person. activated a new mode even

In a perfect world you would be together. 

THATS ADORABLE

okay that was so fucking FILTHY i think im absolutely speechless. im RED and on my way to take a cold shower 😁😁 goodbye ALSO YOUR STEVE IS SO FUCKING HOT !!!

IM GIGGLING AND GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT RN 😭 Your reactions have me kicking my feet 😂

Enemies to lovers with Steve is what we needed so bad

And omg I love Jancy but Ronance? I LOVE THEM

I'm glad you enjoyed the smut and dirty talk, I might just have to write more Steve smut for you😌

Thank you for your reactions, you literally made my night 🥺 ALSO IM HAPPY YOU LIKE THIS VERSION OF STEVE HEHE

[pesterloglog]

Vriska Serket, Kanaya Maryam, Karkat Vantas

Act 6, page 7508-7509

VRISKA: How's it going over there?

KANAYA: I Told Them I Would Leave Them Alone And Go Talk To Some Trolls

KANAYA: I Guess This Troll Over Here Will Have To Do

VRISKA: Happy to 8e of service.

VRISKA: Man, look at them. They all seem so excited.

VRISKA: Like a 8unch of wigglers hopped up on high fructose gru8 sauce.

VRISKA: I hope they don't crash from this reunion 8uzz too hard 8efore it's showtime.

KANAYA: If They Do I Am Sure One Of Your Contingency Plans Will Swing Into Full Effect

KANAYA: Maybe You Can Buy Time For Everyone To Recover By Lulling Our Adversaries Into An Extensive Strategy Session

VRISKA: Hey Maryam, why don't you can it!

VRISKA: Our sassy little games of one upsmanship are fun and all, 8ut I'm trying to 8e sincere here.

VRISKA: You know, seeing as this is the last time I'll see you all in a while.

KANAYA: Youre Right Sorry

KANAYA: Bring On The Sincerity

VRISKA: I was just saying, a8out the humans.

VRISKA: They seem so happy.

VRISKA: I mean, look at Rose!

VRISKA: No offense, 8ut most of the time she's kind of a pill.

KANAYA: None Taken And Me Too Probably

VRISKA: Good point.

VRISKA: 8ut I don't think I've ever seen her like that. 8y which I mean, making no discerni8le effort whatsoever to disguise the fact that she's happy.

VRISKA: Well, ok. May8e there were a couple times.

KANAYA: Is That In Reference To How You Like To Flagrantly Spy On Us Sometimes

VRISKA: I don't "spy" on you!

VRISKA: That is such an unfair characteriz8tion.

VRISKA: Would you can it with that shit already??

KANAYA: Ill Never Understand Your Ongoing And Apparently Unironic Use Of The Phrase "Can It"

KANAYA: And In Particular Why You Always Seem To Direct This Expression To Me And Seemingly No One Else

KANAYA: I Just Think It Is Such A Peculiar And Amusing Way To Tell Someone To Be Quiet

VRISKA: What! Why?

VRISKA: No, that's a normal way of putting it!

VRISKA: I mean... it's a pretty normal thing to say, right? When you want... someone... to pipe down?

KANAYA: "Pipe Down" Isnt Even Much Better

KANAYA: Its Just A Funny Thing To Say And The Fact That You Dont Realize It Makes It Funnier

KANAYA: I Think The Underlying Explanation Is That You Are Just Funnier That You Realize Or Try To Be

KANAYA: It Is Something To Like About You

VRISKA: I guess I'll have to accept your sass as a compliment then.

VRISKA: And no, I don't SPY on you. I just...

VRISKA: Check in with you sometimes! To see how you're doing.

KANAYA: Okay If Thats How You Want To Put It

KANAYA: You Involve Yourself In Many Private Matters Without Even Offering The Pretense Of Doing Otherwise

KANAYA: To Think That At One Point I Was Regarded As The Meddlesome One

VRISKA: Look, it just so happens that I care very deeply for all my friends and want to make sure they're doing alright on a somewhat regular 8asis.

VRISKA: Is that a crime??

KANAYA: In Some Societies Violating The Privacy Of Others In Certain Ways Yes I Believe So

KANAYA: I Understand Your Motives Though And Really This Is Just Me Giving You A Hard Time

VRISKA: I never got why everyone treats their romantic affairs as so PRIV8.

VRISKA: What's the 8ig deal. So you like to do some smooching and stuff with another person. May8e get over yourselves??

VRISKA: Karkat is the worst offender. You'd think he was charged with guarding st8 secrets. News flash, 8uddy. No8ody gives a fuck!

KANAYA: It Sounds Like You Very Much Give A Fuck Though

VRISKA: Hey, why don't you can... I mean, cut me some slack?

VRISKA: I don't hold anyone to standards I don't hold myself to.

VRISKA: I'm very open a8out my rel8tionships! My moirallegience with Terezi? Pff. Ask me anything! I have nothing to hide.

VRISKA: We'll throw our diamonds up in your face like we're making a getaway.

VRISKA: We don't even give a fuck. If you can't take the stench, then get out of the meal 8lock.

VRISKA: Same with any ashen liaisons I've 8een involved with over the years. What's the 8ig deal?

KANAYA: I Have To Admit To Being Impressed With Your Uh

KANAYA: Strangely Natural Proficiency With Auspisticism

KANAYA: It Is An Incredibly Difficult Quadrant To Master And Very Emotionally Taxing I Find

KANAYA: In A Way That Conflicts With The Pursuit Of Relationships In Other Quadrants

KANAYA: I Cant Ignore That During Our Trip You Probably Diffused A Lot Of Unpleasant Situations Before They Started

KANAYA: But When It Comes To Matters Of Privacy And Such

KANAYA: And Which Forms Of Expression People Feel At Ease Showing In Public

KANAYA: Pale Relationships Are Really Different I Think

KANAYA: What About The Other Kind

KANAYA: Seems To Me You Have Not Been Involved In Any So Im Not Sure You Really Understand

VRISKA: I just don't have time for anything like that in my life right now!

VRISKA: Red and 8lack rel8tionships are so a8sor8ing. I have a strong pale rel8tionship which is very important to me, 8ut that's a8out all I can handle.

VRISKA: May8e l8ter on when the dust settles from this crazy adventure, I'll consider it. 8ut for now, this is all I can deal with.

VRISKA: I just have too many irons in the fire, you know?

KANAYA: I Know All About The Irons

KANAYA: I Have Heard Rumors Of This Alleged Fire As Well

VRISKA: So what are they talking a8out?

KANAYA: What

VRISKA: All your 8uddies over there!

VRISKA: We were still talking a8out that. It's ridiculous how easily we all get sidetracked 8y romantic 8lither.

KANAYA: Oh

KANAYA: "Family" Stuff Mainly

VRISKA: It's pretty fascin8ting. Sociologically speaking, I mean.

VRISKA: Their idea of families.

VRISKA: The idea of si8lings is strange enough. People who are genetically similar and grow up together.

VRISKA: Spending all that time with Dave and Rose, you started getting a sense for it. Like, the logic of it, how it must have shaped Earth society. 8ut also its inherent ridiculousness.

VRISKA: Sharing a residence with your near-clone while growing up? So preposterous.

VRISKA: 8ut then you add the idea of parents, and suddenly it's complete madness.

VRISKA: Our society was so individualistic, and that all seemed so normal and reasona8le.

VRISKA: So I look over there, and see two Lalondes and a Strider, and there's a whole OTHER Strider on the way, and...

VRISKA: A human family starts striking me as not so much a social unit, so much as like, an INFEST8TION.

KANAYA: Yeah

KANAYA: Well

KANAYA: I Will Say An Entire Other Strider Does Sound Like A Bit Much

KANAYA: On Top Of What Is Already Quite A Spectacle

KANAYA: Maybe We Just Dont Get It

VRISKA: Of course we don't. That's my point.

VRISKA: I mean, we have ancestors, 8ut under normal circumstances it's pretty much UNHEARD of to imagine you'd ever get the chance to meet them.

VRISKA: We had the unusual privilege of meeting most of ours, or at least, certain versions of them.

VRISKA: 8ut that's still just a one-person lineage. It's really simple and comprehensi8le.

VRISKA: Human lineage is just a huge clusterfuck if you ask me.

KANAYA: There Is A Certain Advantage To It Though

KANAYA: Their Decentralized Propagation Makes It A Lot More Likely Their Race Will Persist

KANAYA: The Same Cannot Be Said For Ours

KANAYA: I Still Often Wonder If We Are The Last Of Our Kind

VRISKA: You're still dou8tful a8out whether you can hatch a new mother gru8?

KANAYA: Yeah

KANAYA: More Than Doubtful Id Say

VRISKA: You shouldn't lose faith!

VRISKA: I'm not even the slightest 8it worried a8out whether you can do it.

VRISKA: When you get the chance, just 8rainstorm a8out it with the Lalondes. They tend to 8e full of ideas.

VRISKA: Anyway, try not to get down a8out it. I have a good feeling. ::::)

KARKAT: GET DOWN ABOUT WHAT

KANAYA: A Particular Obligation I Have Yet To Fulfill

KANAYA: I Sense She Possesses Some Intelligence On The Matter She Wishes To Be Cagey About So I Guess That Part Of The Conversation Has Been Concluded

KARKAT: OBLIGATION?

KARKAT: VRISKA, HAVE YOU BEEN DISHING MORE DIRT ON OUR STRATEGY BEFORE FORMALLY BRINGING OUR MEETING BACK TO ORDER?

KARKAT: PRETTY SLOPPY LEADERSHIP MOVE, IF YOU ASK ME.

VRISKA: Karkat, it had NOTHING to do with your and Kanaya's upcoming roles in this campaign.

VRISKA: It was a more priv8 matter pertaining to Kanaya's 8roader significance to the future of our people.

VRISKA: I will 8e very clearly spelling out the roles you and she will 8e playing momentarily.

KARKAT: ME AND SHE??

KARKAT: AS IN LIKE, TOGETHER?

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING TOGETHER.

VRISKA: You'll find out.

KARKAT: GREAT! I'M SO GLAD.

KARKAT: AT THIS POINT, I ONLY EVER FEEL ANGST OR EVEN THE SLIGHTEST SENSE OF AGITATION IN MY SOUL TO THE PRECISE EXTENT THAT I WORRY VRISKA *MIGHT* NOT HAVE ALL OF OUR FORTUNES COMPLETELY MAPPED OUT ALREADY.

KARKAT: I'M BEGINNING TO HYPERVENTILATE SLIGHTLY LESS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!!

VRISKA: Good to hear, Karkat. Almost as cool as it is to see you yelled yourself out with John and Dave already, and have decided to come clock in some yelling time with us.

VRISKA: Your a8ility to dig deep down and find a second wind is really quite astonishing. I shudder to think what would happen to this party if we ran out of its most precious natural resource.

KARKAT: HAHAHA!

KARKAT: BURNED. OWNED. DEVASTATED. WHAT MORE IS THERE TO SAY?

KARKAT: NOTHING REALLY, UNLESS YOU WANT WHATEVER PITIFUL TATTERS OF YOUR SELF IMAGE YOU HAVE LEFT TO GET POWER-PISSED ON BY GODQUEEN SERKET HERSELF, YET AGAIN.

KARKAT: EITHER THAT, OR ONE COULD RUMINATE FONDLY OVER THE HEAVENLY RET-FORKED REALITY WHEREIN SHE WAS STABBED IN THE BACK BY HER MOIRAIL, AND WE ALL GOT TO LIVE OUT THE *FUCKING BLISS* THAT TIMELINE MUST HAVE BEEN.

KARKAT: JUST THINK OF THE PEACE AND QUIET WE WOULD HAVE HAD ON THE METEOR! IT WAS PROBABLY *MORE* THAN WORTH THE PRICE OF CANNON BALLING ASS FIRST INTO SOME SORT OF MASSACRE TRAP.

KARKAT: VRISKA SERKET, MAKING THE LIVING ENVY THE HYPOTHETICAL DEAD SINCE... WHENEVER IT WAS SHE STARTED DOING THAT!

VRISKA: Way to stick the landing on that 8ar8, genius.

VRISKA: I appreci8te that you are just "moseying over" to ar8itrarily drum up some utterly meaningless contention 8etween us, 8ut it's like I've said 8efore many times, Karkat. I'm not interested!

KARKAT: OUCH! SLAUGHTERED AGAIN. "HEHEHE!"

KARKAT: DON'T LISTEN TO HER, KANAYA. IT'S LIKE THIS RUNNING GAG SHE DOES ALL THE TIME, TO OWN ME.

KANAYA: What

KARKAT: IT'S THIS FUNNY THING WE DO. OR MAINLY, SHE DOES.

KARKAT: ALWAYS IMPLYING THAT I'VE BEEN SPADES-CRUSHING ON HER, AND GETTING SHUT DOWN. IT NEVER STOPS BEING HILARIOUS!

KANAYA: ...

KARKAT: FIRST OF ALL, AS IF SHE CAN PROVE ANYTHING.

KARKAT: SECOND, IF WE'RE BEING *TOTALLY FAIR* HERE, MORE THAN A FEW OF HER SNAPPY COMEBACKS ARE ARGUABLY MORE TINGED WITH THAT SORT OF EYEBROW-COCKING HOSTILITY THAN ANYTHING *I'VE* EVER SAID TO HER.

KARKAT: MAYBE MAKES ONE A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS, NO? THAT MAYBE THERE'S SOME PROJECTION GOING ON HERE. JUST SAYING!!!

VRISKA: Alright Karkat, I'm going to leave you here to dig yourself into whatever em8arrassing hole you seem intent on digging.

VRISKA: I'm going to keep working the crowd a 8it. As you know, a leader's jo8 is never done! See ya.

KARKAT: BYE! MAYBE TRY ACTING A LITTLE MORE GRACIOUS IN DEFEAT NEXT TIME.

KARKAT: JUST A LITTLE ADVICE FROM ONE LEADER TO ANOTHER!

KANAYA: Shes Gone I Think You Needed To Come Up With That Comeback A Little Faster

KARKAT: YEAH

KARKAT: DAMN

KANAYA: I Think As A Friend It Would Behoove Me To Um

KANAYA: Confide Somewhat

KANAYA: About The Realities Of Pursuing Anything With Her

KARKAT: WAIT

KARKAT: WHAT??

KARKAT: KANAYA, YOU WEREN'T TAKING THAT PATHETIC JOKEY UNREQUITED BLACKROM STUFF SERIOUSLY, WERE YOU???

KANAYA: Lets Imagine That My Attitude Toward The Joking Or Non Joking Status Of That Is Perfectly Neutral

KANAYA: While I Just Say These Things

KANAYA: Aside From The Fact That She Literally Just Got Finished Telling Me She Wasnt Interested In Any Non Pale Relationships

KANAYA: I Think That Would Be A Blind Alley Regardless

KANAYA: I Admit This From Experience

KANAYA: And Not Without Chagrined Hesitation

KANAYA: But Only Frustration And Heartbreak Are Down That Road

KARKAT: OH??

KANAYA: Shes Turned Out To Be A Tremendous Partner In Pale Relationships

KANAYA: Maybe Even Um

KANAYA: A Bit Freakishly So?

KANAYA: But Anything Stronger Than That I Think Would Probably Be Disastrous

KANAYA: She Is Way Too Focused And Self Absorbed To Maintain Such Strong Feelings For Long

KANAYA: She Would Need To Learn To Let Go Of Some Of Her Ambition And Figure Out How To Prioritize The Feelings Of Other People

KANAYA: She Might Even Figure Out How To Be

KANAYA: Happy

KANAYA: *Shudder*

KARKAT: YEAH, WOW

KARKAT: A CHILL JUST RAN UP MY POSTURE POLE, TRYING TO IMAGINE THAT.

KARKAT: YOU KNOW...

KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE EVER TOLD YOU.

KARKAT: BUT YOU HAVE A REALLY IMPRESSIVE GRASP OVER ROMANTIC ANALYSIS.

KANAYA: Well I Have Read A Lot Of Novels Too

KANAYA: I Just Dont Brag Much About It

KANAYA: Because It Would...

KANAYA: Literally Be Preposterous To Do So

KARKAT: WE SHOULD BE JAMMING ON THIS SUBJECT MORE. MAYBE EXPLORE SOME OF MY MORE ADVANCED THEORIES.

KARKAT: WE'RE SURROUNDED BY AMATEURS IN THIS FIELD, SO IT GETS A BIT FRUSTRATING.

KARKAT: WELL, THE MAYOR'S A GOOD SOUNDING BOARD AT LEAST. WHEN I WANT TO BOUNCE SOME OF MY MORE "OUT THERE" IDEAS OFF SOMEONE.

KANAYA: Why Dont We Schedule An Academic Conference Some Time

KANAYA: Just You Me And The Mayor

KARKAT: OH FUCK YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[freedomfireflies]

Hi <3 First of all, I want to say how much I love your stories and your writing, you’ve become my favourite one here on tumblr and I have basically memorised all of your masterlist because it’s just too good.

I just wanted to say something, and please don’t take it as an offence because it’s really not, it’s just a thought I wanted to share with you as an italian person who, unfortunately, has been a witness of the romanticisation of mafia in the last couple of years (of course I’m talking about Mine).

Mafia is not something to be proud of, and it’s definitely not like the one portrayed in books and films. It’s much worse. It’s blowing cars up, robbing innocent and honest, hardworking people and it’s about unliving people and CHILDREN in the worst ways you can think of.

I understand the charm of the bad boy who’s involved in some sketchy things and is some sort of criminal, I read stories like that all the time, but it’s a completely different thing from Mafia.

I sincerely hope I haven’t offended you, and please, feel free to completely ignore this, it will be just between the two of us.

I don’t want you to feel guilty, because I can understand how someone from an another culture doesn’t really get what it means, but as someone who has grown up hearing all kind of stories, I couldn’t stay silent.

Sorry for the rant, and again, please don’t take offence, I’m saying this with good intentions.

Trust me when I say I really like your stories, and I give you my compliments for writing so well. It’s something I truly admire. I can’t wait to read more extracts from Teach Me, my number 1 story here.

If you’ve read all of this, thank you for your time! I wish you all the best.

Hi!! First of all, thank you so much for reading and being here and being so kind 😭💞

Second, I appreciate you taking the time to tell me this!! I never want anyone to feel off-put or uncomfortable by something I've done or written!

I completely understand what you mean and where you're coming from. When I decided on this trope in particular, it was not to romanticize or play it up in any way.

Mostly, I needed a job that would explain his overprotectiveness, his demeanor, and why she would need bodyguards/would be isolated most of the time.

Honestly, this story was only ever meant to be smut, and was not meant to dive too deeply into his job and what he does. Chapter 2 does get a bit deeper into the topic but other than that, I believe most of the mafia talk is reduced to quick conversations about meetings Harry needs to be having.

I wouldn't mind changing his field at all, however Tumblr has rules about edits through reblogs and if I were to go back and change the original post, unfortunately, it wouldn't copy over to everyone else's version.

But I absolutely do not mind thinking of him as something else instead or simply having a nondescript job!

And going forward with the extras, I will make sure not to mention the mafia or dive into the details of his work!

I know that can't fix what has already been written and I'm not sure if you were asking that I stop writing it altogether. But I hope that at least by making sure not to mention the mafia in the future and keeping the field of his job vague, it can potentially make the experience for anyone else that might read a little better!

I so appreciate you telling me this and reaching out to share that you were uncomfortable. I know this is a very popular trope and I would never want to romanticize the mafia itself in any way. Again, this story was mostly just about a dominant Harry that likes when people watch him fuck HAHAHA 😭 And that was all I ever wanted it to be!

Thank you again for taking the time to educate me, to read some of the other stories, and for being so kind!! If there's anything I can do to improve or anything else you want to chat about, please let me know!! I will always be here 💞💞💞

[ravenkinnie]

TW: Drugs, substance abuse, murder, violence, the Punisher

Another potentially unpopular opinion I've seen on here (and one that I'll actually rant about) is that, Jason is the only good vigilante in the Batfam because he kills people (think the direct quote is "unlike those other feckless bitches" and something like "when you get saved by Red Hood, you know that you'll never have to worry about getting attacked by the same person again". I don't know how to explain to people that killing the type of criminals Jason killed in canon is wrong and harmful (thinking about the 80 Blackgate prisoners he poisoned - hmm you know the American prison system is pretty fucked up i'm sure they all totally belonged there /s). Like. Jason killing the Joker is one thing, but he literally hasn't killed the Joker - Dick did that, Bruce tried to, but Jason hasn't. But like some people make it out like oh, Jason being a killer is fine because he only kills people that deserve it - who, tell me who he's killing? Sex offenders and drug dealers seems to be the most common reply. And I won't touch the sex offenders but drug dealers? Have you heard of the War on Drugs? Have you seen what happens when people in power decide it's okay to openly promote the killing of drug dealers? I don't understand why people think it's fine for Jason Todd to go around killing drug dealers, as if they don't have families, don't have other things that put them in a bad situation. There's a reason why cops in the US (idk if they do this elsewhere) use the Punisher skull as their emblem - and if you advocate for a Jason Todd that punishes criminals, don't be surprised when the right wing weaponizes him against minorities and the red hood helmet starts to get painted on cop cars.

I wrote a paper on the Norwegian prison system which rehabilitates and releases even the "worst" of criminals and just... I live in the US and it seems like we (specifically white people) have such little compassion for anyone who commits crime. Even after the War on Drugs, even after we learned it was a scam, people fall for the crime and punishment rhetoric time after time. Like I live in a suburb where people are so scared of drug dealers my mom literally called our neighbor because someone cut through our yard (and she thought he looked high or something idk). Which I get it, my cousin died from a fentanyl overdose, I understand you don't want that near your kids. But incarcerating or killing drug dealers is not the answer, and I can't stand it when people take that stance on Jason. You can try to explain the 8 drug dealer heads in a duffle bag any way you want, but at the end of the day, I think the batfamily fandom needs to be more careful addressing this issue because demonizing drugs/drug dealers/drug users is literally one of the ways the American government destroys black communities.

And to think, the Jason Todd stan that this opinion came from replied to me because I commented on how Jason likes to run around in Dick's old clothes - something that has absolutely no bearing on his morals, other than he's thrifty which is a good thing actually, something like 85% of clothes ends up in landfills. Sorry for the rant, you asked for it. Sorry if anyone who sees this likes Jason Todd and is offended, you're not bad for liking him, he has an interesting story, just please don't advocate for murdering common criminals, specifically drug dealers.

AAAHHH NOO BUT IVE SEEN SOME OF MY MOOTS DISCUSS THIS BEFORE

sorry it's late and fucking hot I don't have the most comprehensive reply dbdnhd and I do acknowledge that at the end of the day this is fiction but opinions real people hold come from SOMEWHERE - and I think we have a very ingrained belief that crime/bad deed has to be punished and that there are good and evil people and good people only do bad things when influenced by evil people which is exactly the core of jason's belief - and that's interesting for a batfam character, a former robin!! I like when him and bruce are contrasted based on ethics but I don't like when it's meant to show that jason is right and bruce is wrong

batman is an extremely popular and fascinating character because at his core lies the idea that systems that are in place to 'protect' people are corrupt and it's down to individuals who can do something to go against them and look out for others - that's something that will resonate with people even if irl solution can't be to dress up as a bat and beat tf outta people shdhhshs

I have two points to make here:

a) I'm straight up a fucking anarchist who lives in the woods, thinks aliens are listening, and doesn't trust the government but I don't believe systems are corrupt, I believe they operate the way they are meant to operate to punish and control the populations that the system needs to be controlled to keep up the status quo - war on drugs is such a good example for that. drug dealer also exists as this boogeyman, this idea of an evil person waiting to corrupt and destroy the good people but the fact is: people don't get addicted to drugs bc drug dealers exist, people get addicted to drugs because something, not someone, compels them to do drugs, because something (literal us gov) introduced drugs to their communities and drug dealers are just tiny pawns in that game. additionally, many dealers are addicts themselves who got roped into selling to pay for their own use or who got pushed into the margins of society so much that drug trade is the only way to survive they can find

there are like, whole papers and books and thesis done on this so I'm not gonna act like I can analyse it in a tumblr post dhshsjsj but yeah people who think jason is right usually show this weird superiority of 'oh batman doesnt get how to fix gotham like jason does' and like... no, jason gets played like a fiddle by the system the way people he kills do, and whatever he does will always just hit the other pawns and never reach those actually at the top, those who are profitting from finding scapegoats

and like, batman comics don't have to address that bc it's comics, you can write small lmao but don't argue that jason is somehow more enlightened than bruce for killing

b) this brings a question of, if we decide that there has to be punishment for every crime, who gets to decide what punishment is right for what crime? cause there's not a single person who's infallible enough to dictate what the best approach is in every situation

and batman works best as a traumatised man who's loves his city sm he tries to work however he can to protect people from corrupt systems and offer them second chances wherever he can bc that's who batman is at his core - batman is not a punisher he is a protector and he should never be pushed into a role of the punisher bc he's not edgy enough

also bitches are so hard acting like they would kill every villain cause rip to batman but I'm different, y'all are too scared to tell the waitress your order is wrong shut the fuck up lmao the closest any of y'all have been to being batman is getting your ass beat behind the club on a saturday by brenda in her boohoo jumpsuit