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#so im gonna cry alone tonight
yuukimiyas · 9 days
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໒꒰ྀི っ◞‸◟c ꒱ྀིა feelin v much…not cool rn…
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scattered-winter · 9 months
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horrifying self recognition through the other aside this has been an actually not terrible start to The Family Gathering tbh
#my cousin who i havent really seen in a while came up to me and asked abt my pronouns because i came out to the fam a while ago#and he didnt really remember what id said (which. fair. its a big family w lots of things to remember)#and so he asked what my pronouns were and i told him and he promised that if he ever messed up i needed to make him#do like 5 or 10 pushups lmao#and ngl. its the sweetest thing anyone in this family has ever said to me abt that#everyone else has kinda just. moved on. and either forgotten that im not a girl or purposefully ignoring it.#and idk maybe i should stand up for myself a little more but ive been practically a doormat all my life#and idk. its hard using my voice and establishing boundaries when ive let ppl bulldoze over me for almost 20 years.#sigh. anyway.#im gonna be thinking about that all day tbh it was genuinely so sweet#and i am also being consumed by The Loneliness again <3#just. i want someone to just talk to about all this??? someone who isnt in my family because they all have stakes in it too?????#we're all grieving. i aint special.#i just want to talk to someone about it in person so they can hold my hand while i cry myself to sleep because ngl#thats what it looks like we're doing tonight#im just. tired of feeling alone in this enormous family where it seems like im the only odd man out#and also ykw the Not Having Any Irl Friends loneliness too. thats also pretty significant.#not saying my internet friends arent great i love yall so so so much but it has just been .#a really really long time since ive had a good cry n hug session w someone.#sigh. im tired i need to go to bed#winter speaks#personal
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hella1975 · 1 year
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it's interesting how when i read the words 'christmas break' i see time off uni to be with family in the holiday season but when my lecturers read it they see 'time to study for four in-person exams in january covering everything we've done in the semester'
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emypony · 5 months
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.
#damn babygirl i wish people checked up on me more#this self conscious catgirl is so tired#sometimes i WISH people just came into my dms to ask me if im ok#i do it constantly to others because i hope theyre not as sad as i am feeling in that moment#genuinely afraid to have made someone feel bad and drive them away from me#and omg i feel nyself running thin again just bc im afraid to lose the interactions we have altogether because i cant process certain media#in a healthy way whatsoever and i get super hung up on thinfs that really dont matter that much in the end#YEAH IM RAMBLING IT'S 5:30 AM AND I COULD BE SLEEPING RIGHT NOW BUT INSTEAD IM JUST CRYING FOR A STUPID REASON!!#i think ive only had one person check up on me based off the vibes in chat i gave off alone in the past couple of months#which was baffling and surreal btw and i think it broke something within me#it came from someone i wouldve never expected to even notice because sometimes it feels like its such a vast difference between us#i sometimes even wonder how are we friends in the first place#like do i even deserve to call this person my friend do they feel like that? or are we just discord acquaintances?#anyway all this just made me sad and my dumb ass is crying and yearning to be loved by my online peers thats all lol. meows pathetically#idk i guess i just.want to hear / see it more rather than just teying to tell myself that over and over hoping im not deluding myself abt i#personal#sorry for the emotions dump idk whats wrong with me tonight actually#me having to come to terms with the reality that i actually have a following and this might get boticed by more than 2 ppl#bc not everyone follows 3k blogs like i am :skull emoji: yknow#im probably gonna delete later because im actually a super self conscious person to the point i get nauseatingly anxious about it holy shit#i dont vent often and im 120% keeping it in but when i do oh boy#the dam bursts and im left like a sopping wet dog on the floor looking like a sad blob#which i am feeling like right now!#vent#emy rambles#ALSO LIKE THIS ISNT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIENDS OMG I AM#k really am#sometimes its still like. idk. unbelievable to me that people are genuinely interacting with me and the things i write or headcanon#and i shouldn't expect them to know whats wrong with me or if i feel bad if i dont say it or communicate that to them#but yknow one can yearn
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devildairymilkfairy · 9 months
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year
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I forget how much I hate the taste of vodka but the whipped cream vodka is so much better my god
#make a drink sweet enough that you can’t taste it when it’s in ur mouth and then all u get is the whipped cream vodka in the burn#makes drinks more tolerable#also this is the fastest I think I’ve ever chugged an alcoholic drink#we are gonna get fucked up tonight bc we have daddy issues and fought with our mom this morning slayyy#smoked a cigarette at the lake now getting fucked up in my room while home alone#life is so good and it’s all bullshit forever#literally we could all die and it doesn’t matter and life is weird and crazy and I am happy it sucks and I am so fucking thrilled to be aliv#at all#life is good regardless of death but I wish death would just like wait patiently for my family#dad I miss u I hope you had a good four twenty where ever you ended up. im sorry moms acting like this. I hope my brothers okay at school.#I hope he’s having a good time and isn’t completely overwhelmed with everything. I was right and apparently he’s gonna come home after grad#uation and im excited to have him home again but my mothers all upset. I know it sucks that you’re dead but it’s nice knowing in a weird way#that you’re the reason me and hunter got close again. so thanks I guess for that. and smoking made me and mom grow closer. idk. you’ve done#a lot for us and most of it had to do with weed. today hurt worse than my birthday. or the six month anniversary. today sucked. and no one#else seemed to be torn apart by it and it made me feel like I was going crazy and no one could even tell#you would’ve noticed if I was acting different. I love you. wherever you are I still love you. and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was such a bitch.#and I wish I took better care of you. but you were my father I wasn’t supposed to take care of you. you should’ve been there for me. we shou#have been there for mom and hunter and your parents and I’ve been thinking a lot about grammie actually. I don’t know how I feel. thinking#about her makes me cry now. I don’t have the heart to make her cry talking about my childhood but I miss her. and I miss being young. I miss#you coming to my Father’s Day dance recitals and coming back from bike week in Laconia and bringing me flowers always wearing your grey#Harley Davidson jacket and you’d have flowers in your arms and you’d be bored but so proud and you’d hug me and you’d smell like weed and#your beard was always scratchy when you’d hug me and I just miss you a lot. I miss you and I fucking hate you for it fuck.#note to self. ​don’t be pmsing and then get drinking and smoking and thinking of your dead father. you will cry
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iron-bubble · 1 year
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💜
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meowdarame · 2 years
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i’m listening to “faithfully” by journey on repeat and i realized that there’s a period of time while shion and i are dating that he GOES TO FUCKING JAIL.
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elmmni · 1 year
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never expected to be outed by the family friend pity she has to die now! (<- shouldve expected to be outed by this woman) 
#my mom has been suprisingly more chill than i feared but that really is irrelevant i was still outed i have a blood feud with this woman now#im gonna cry i was already crying its fucking midnight im gonna walk to her house and punch her in the face idk if shes home#i could never assault her its illegal and for all intents and purposes shes a nice lady but also she has to die#im gonna invent new worse curse words to yell at her im gonna become a fucking witch and genuinely curse her im interfering in the divorce#i wanna hug my gf idk if ill ever be able to see my gf again#i never wanna speak to my mother again she wont leave me the fuck alone#i wanna go rant to my brothers cause its Their friends mom but also im talking to my Girlfriend which seems more important#i walked to the woods at fucking midnight and screamed and walked around the block 4 times before i calmed down i burst into tears the secon#the second i stepped inside#my mom hugged me when i got home she said i was only queer in theory before i learned she knew i had a girlfriend i want to punch her#i have two old women on my 'i wanna punch you in the face' list and i honestly dont know who ranks higher at this point#i never wanna speak to anyone again i need to see my partner immediately#i just saw my best friend 3 hours ago if he doesnt show up to give me a hug in the next 30 minutes i may die#im feeling every emotion in this chilis tonight fellas sorry#i need a punching bag i need to go lay down i need to stay exactly where i am so i can talk to my girlfriend and draw#i fucking hate it here FUCK
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mattphobiia · 2 months
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SOFT.
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disclaimer: smut smut smut smut smut smut thats all im gonna say^_^ m!receiving, f!receiving, soft!dom matt x sub!reader lowkey
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
my favourite part of the day was always at noon when matt got back home after filming his daily content with his brothers, my prepared dinner on the dining table for us as he practically swings the door open and pulls me into a tired hug and kisses me everywhere. most of the time we mainly chilled in bed either scrolling on our phones or watching movies, but tonight felt so different.
usually when i was alone in the house, i would crave for matt's presence and it always made me feel turned on, but ever since i had been dating him i could never get off by myself which always made me feel a desire for his touch. it seemed so insane on how desperate i was for him, practically begging for him to come home just so i could keep sane.
"hi baby." matt whispers in my ear, making me jump as i didnt hear him come inside. i immediately wrap my arms around his neck before he held me in his arms like a baby. "miss me?"
i bury my face into his neck before responding with a small nod, making him laugh as he kisses the top of my head before walking over to the table, attempting to place me down onto the chair but failed.
"come on, you need to eat." he sighs, stroking the back of my head while he sits down in his chair, now placing me onto his lap as he looked up at me.
i shake my head in response, leaning my head against his shoulder. "i don't want the food, i want you."
"not yet, eat dinner first and then we can." he says, pressing a small kiss onto the tip of my nose. "i promise."
"okay." i sigh, slowly getting off him as i sat down in my own chair next to him, listening to him as he spoke about his eventual day whilst i try to quickly shove all this food down my mouth.
"slow down! you're going to be sick baby." matt laughs, holding onto my hand as he places my fork down onto the plate, his other hand slowly drifting to my thigh. "i know you're excited, but take your time."
"please matt..." i groan, leaning my head back as i let out a frustrated sigh. "i can't wait any longer!"
"yes you can, just take your time and we can go to the bedroom as soon as you are finished." he says, his cold rings pressed against my skin before i nod. "good girl." he whispers, planting a soft kiss onto my cheek as i resume back to eating, crossing my legs under the table to avoid the tingling sensation in between my thighs.
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"alright baby, come on." matt giggles before holding his arms out as i practically pounced onto him. he began to walk to the bedroom while i was mid way kissing him all over his neck, sucking gently as he released a heavy groan from his mouth.
he practically threw me onto the bed when he swung open the door, quickly stripping himself as i done the same, laying my head on the pillow as he lowered himself between me, his cold hands held my thighs as he pushed my legs open. i felt myself whine while his index finger dragged agonisingly slow against my folds, almost making me scream.
"matt, please!" i begged, my back arching off the bed as i held a fistful of the bedsheets. "oh my- fuck! i can't handle it..."
"patience." he whispered, a huge smirk plastered on his face before he swiped his tongue against my clit, the sudden motion making me moan loudly and jolt upwards.
he began to laugh at me, slowly bringing his mouth down fully as he flicked his tongue slowly, beginning to pick up the pace as he looked up to me, my facial expressions contorting while my eyes rolled to the back of my head. i let go of the sheets, instead grabbing onto matt's fluffy hair, pulling him to get closer as he could before crying out at the pleasure. i felt my whole body radiate with sexual frustration, almost needing more.
"matt!" i groan, trying to speak but no words or sentences would form. "i- need more! please!"
"like this?" he questions, shoving his index and middle finger into me without warning making me struggle to breathe. "so needy, but such a good girl. hm?"
i nod in response, feeling my stomach tighten as everything throbbed, i didn't know how much longer i could hold off. my orgasm began to build up, his mouth sucking harshly on my clit, his fingers moving at rapid speeds inside of me, and the view of him grinding against the edge of the bed was enough for me. both of my hands flew to his head, pushing him closer before i finally finished, soaking his face and fingers as i felt him smile against my skin. i released my grip as i flopped backwards exhaustedly into the pillows, matt rising as his hands caressed my lower back.
"you alright, sweetheart?" he asks innocently, a devilish smirk displaying on his face as he peers down to look at me. instead, i only turn around to face him, impulsively jumping onto him as i held him back, placing myself between his knees while i press small kisses onto his cock, making him squirm as he bites his cheek.
his head dropped as i lowered my mouth onto his cock, hearing him let out a soft moan before looking down to me, putting his hand against my cheek as he winces at the sensation. his droopy eyes became desperate, wanting way more than he could ever desire. the further down i went, the more it began to hit the back of my throat repeatedly almost making me gag. a couple tears rolled down my cheek as i squeezed on his thigh trying not to choke as i fastened my pace. his moans became more needy as he thrusted upwards, somehow reaching deeper down my throat, until i felt his warm liquid shoot inside my mouth, almost overflowing. once he managed to stop, i slowly took it out from my mouth before swallowing his semen and beginning to cough.
"you done so good." he pants, now laying with his back against the bed as i grab his boxers and assist him with putting them back on. "god im so tired!" he groans, lifting his hips up to help me as he sits up again.
"i know baby, let me put my clothes on and we can chill for the rest of the night." i say, his eyes lighting up before he nodded, now getting underneath the covers as he watched me intently.
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MASTERLIST
a/n: screaming crying throwing up. writing this made me literally giggle and blush like crazy i hope u enjoy this:3 STAWWP I NEED TO WRITE MORE SMUT BC THIS SHIT IS SO FUN TO WRITE usually when i used to read some fics i cringed so bad but theres some really good ones on here now so like🤗 yeeees also back at work for a whole 7 days no break so i might not post for awhile unless i get last minute ideas or post some drafts LOVE U ALL
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love-belle · 10 months
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you are my sunshine !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's their sunshine and it's sunshine's birthday.
or
for when you find the people you can call home. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // lando norris x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - hello!!! i really hope u like this one!!! also, i have more than 20+ requests in my inbox at the moment so if you've requested something, it may take some time for me to post them, so sorry about that ://// thank u so much for reading, i love you <3
≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱
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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by landonorris, lilymhe, alex_albon and 863,229 others
yourusername the kind of radiance u only have at (23) 17
6,528 comments
username OH MY GOD
username HELLO??????
username SO FUCKING PRETTY I SCREAMED
username lando. me n u. mcdonald's parking lot. ur catching these hands.
carmenmmundt happiest birthday to my fav person EVER!!! i love you so much baby, thank you for always fixing everything with just a smile ❤️❤️❤️
-> yourusername CARMEN IM GONNA CRY??? i love you so so so so so much like ur like my fav person ever thank u ❤️❤️❤️
username HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN ❤️‍🩹
*liked by yourusername*
username dumped my bf for u omg
username THE TAYLOR SWIFT LYRICS
username hahahahahah!!!!! just fell in love!!!!!!!!
username my bisexual awakening
alex_albon hbd.
-> yourusername ty.
-> username not these two acting they're they're not BEST friends 😭😭😭
username lando just so u know it's OUR girlfriend now
username JAW DROPPED
lilymhe been looking at this for 10 mins
-> yourusername blushing omg
lilymhe u lowk need to find another caption for ur bday post bc u have been using this since u turned 17
-> yourusername it's my bday leave me ALONE
username SHE'S SO PRETTY LIKE IM SO AHHHSHSH
username happiest bday to one who made lando a simp 😌 we love u so much
username i want her so bad
landonorris HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEE YOU SO MUCH
-> yourusername LANDO THANK U SO MUCH I LOVE YOU
landonorris hahahaha can i get your no. are you single are you free this friday do you have a boyfriend
-> yourusername i have a girlfriend lilymhe
-> lilymhe back off norris
-> landonorris wow.
username genuinely in awe rn LIKE
lewishamilton happiest birthday y/n 🤍 have the best day ahead!! cannot wait to see you and lando tonight!!
-> yourusername LEWIS THANK U ‼️‼️‼️ see u tonight im so excited 🔥🔥🔥
username she's so girlboss i love her
username HER.
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 986,318 others
landonorris happiest birthday to my person, my love, my y/n. you're easily the most sunshine-y person i have ever met and i love you so much, even if you love lily more than me. i remember telling you about my favourite flower and the very next day, you showed up with a bouquet full of white roses and a cheesy card and that was when i knew that i wanted to spend all of my lifetimes with you. here's to growing old but never growing up. have the happiest day ahead, darling ❤️
tagged yourusername
username ask me if im ok
-> username are u ok
-> username BITCH NO
username SOVBINF
username babe wake up new y/n pics just dropped
pierregasly happy birthday to the actual goat 🐐
*liked by yourusername*
username the caption has me rolling on the floor
username dead deceased six feet under decomposed decaying gone
username they're so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
lilymhe glad u acknowledged her loving me more than u
-> landonorris you're still banned from our home
-> yourusername no she's not. lily ❤️❤️❤️
-> landonorris and to think i spent half an hour to choose these photos..
-> yourusername sorry babe 🫤
username SHE'S SO SUNSHINE GIRLY
username MOTHER
username she could step on me and i would say thank u
charles_leclerc the og queen 🔥
*liked by landonorris*
username MY PERSON MY LOVE MY Y/N
username further proof of if he wanted to he would
yourusername brb sobbing
-> landonorris OMG PLEASE DON'T
yourusername omg
yourusername ahahahahahaha i love you???
-> landonorris i love you.
yourusername thank u thank u thank u
yourusername frrr ur the best part of my life, ur what i imagined daylight to be like thank u for making me the happiest idk how i got so lucky with u
-> landonorris i love you ❤️
username shakespeare's been real quiet since lando wrote this caption
username they're MY parents
username MY Y/N
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes, landonorris and 782,825 others
lilymhe to my soul sister, my best friend, my partner in crime, my 3am call since forever, happy happy happy birthday, my love. there's good in this world and i found a LOT of it in you, thank you so much for being my sunshine on days where everything got too hard. i love you so much, to the moon and to saturn. ( landonorris, suck on the caption)
tagged yourusername
username OH MY GOD
username THE CAPTION HELLO
username i sobbed ngl
username MY SOUL SISTE MY BEST FRIEND MY PARTNER IN CRIME MY 3AM CALL SINCE FOREVER
carmenmmundt 🤍🤍🤍
*liked by lilymhe*
username gfs ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username i love them sm wtf
username NOT HER TAGGING LANDO
-> username their (fake) beef is too funny like 😭😭😭😭
francisca.cgomes missing you both so much!!!
-> lilymhe can't wait to see you next week <3
username the wags being best friends ❤️❤️❤️
username this post gave me sm serotonin thank u
username Y/N IS THE DEFINITION OF SUNSHINE GIRLY AND I LOVE HER SM FOR THAT
username they're so ❤️❤️❤️🫤🫤🫤😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥😘😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
alex_albon i better be getting a caption this long on my bday
-> lilymhe we'll see
-> yourusername just accept that i'm her fav ❤️
username I LOVE THEM SM
username women friendships are so precious to me like ❤️❤️❤️
username further proof that love stories are not always romantic
*liked by yourusername and lilymhe*
landonorris fuck you stop trying to steal my girlfriend
-> lilymhe *OUR girlfriend
-> yourusername love all of my bitches equally ❤️
username HER TAGGING LANDO IS SENDING ME 😭😭😭😭😭
yourusername do u want me to cry???? lily i love you so much ❤️❤️❤️ thank u so much for always being there for me like i don't know what i did so good in my past life to have YOU as my best friend but i'm so glad i do, i love you ❤️
-> lilymhe i love you so much bae ❤️❤️❤️
username their friendship is so pure like
username lando and alex who???? it's y/n and lily
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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alex_albon happy birthday to the only person i'd want to sit beside me in prison. thank you so much for years of memories, laughing till we cried, going on stupid adventures together that got us yelled at by lily and here's to a lot more. i love you, i guess, even though you made my girlfriend love you more. have a good one, you stupid. time to start buying anti-wrinkle cream.
tagged yourusername
6,728 comments
username HELP OMG
username the WILD contrast between lily's and alex's caption
username NO BC THEY'RE BEST FRIENDS GOALS LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
danielricciardo "stupid adventures" and it's just the august incident.
-> yourusername OMG THE AUGUST INCIDENT
-> lewishamilton we agreed not to speak of that x
-> georgerussell63 alex and y/n have done questionable shit growing up but the august incident will forever top the list
-> carlossainz55 that was scary, no?
-> landonorris I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT
-> maxverstappen1 no because charles almost cried
-> charles_leclerc I DID NOT
-> pierregasly you did, mate
-> alex_albon we DON'T talk about it
-> lilymhe still disappointed in all of you
-> username WHAT IS THE AUGUST INCIDENT
-> username HELLO???? WE NEED DETAILS????
-> username nah bc what'd they do 😭😭😭
username this caption made me drop to the floor and roll down the stairs
username BEST FRIENDS
username no bc they're definitely the kind of duo that would go to jail and get bailed out by their partners
-> username lily would SO be the disappointed mom and gf
-> username meanwhile lando is just along for the ride
username LILY ALEX Y/N LANDO 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
username NOT ANTI WRINKLE CREAM
lilymhe of COURSE she loves me more than she loves you, have you seen me???
-> yourusername i have and let me tell you, woah.
-> lilymhe 😘
-> alex_albon out of my comment section you hoes
username LILY AND Y/N WILL FOREVER BE THE SUPERIOR DUO
username im so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username WORM ON THE STRING
-> username they're so unserious i love them
landonorris my girl my girl my girl my girl my girl ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
-> alex_albon you're literally sitting on her lap rn
-> landonorris ok and?
-> username LANDO SITTING ON HER LAP HELP
-> username nah it's cause it's so babygirl like ❤️❤️❤️
-> username real like ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username i love their friendship ur honour
yourusername thank you for making the best decision of ur life and meeting lily, it's bc of u that i found my wife ❤️❤️❤️ forever grateful dude
-> alex_albon no problem bro
yourusername and thank u for listening to me shit talk about people i hate and then shit talking with me
-> alex_albon our shit talking sessions are so fun, we're so mean and i love that
username I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THIS WTF
username AHHSHHSHDBXBXNDNS
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sturncrazy · 1 month
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STUCK🔥
part 1
matt sturniolo x fem reader (no use of y/n)
(anyone else is green )
warnings: SMUT 18+ (part two will be major smut this is the warm up🫣)
summary: you and your friend matt are arguing while coming back from a event and are faced with heightened tensions when the elevator of the hotel gets stuck…
authors note: i was INSPIRED by the sam & colby colab i had IDEAS. so this is gonna be a 2 part!! and guys just roll w me — let’s pretend matt wouldn’t be in fetal position crying if an elevator fr got stuck.
word count: 2,060
—————————————————————————
you fussed with the back of your dress desperately trying to reach for its zipper. bodycon dresses like this should’ve been used for torture. finally giving up on completing the task alone, you banged on the door to the adjoining room.
your best friend matt had asked you to be his plus one to a party for one of the various influencer acquaintances of him and his brothers. chris and nick had other plans for the night, and there was no way matt would ever go to any social event alone. so he’d asked you to join. plus he knew you’d love getting all dressed up and even getting to spend the night at a nice hotel covered by the party host.
“WHAT?” shouted matt from the other side of the door
“MAAAATTT i can’t get my dress zipped! help!” you whined back continuing to pound your fist against the frame.
“Okay—just a second”
you jiggled the door handle, impatiently. it swung open to a flustered half ready matt. his soft brown locks were tousled in front of his eyes. he was wearing a white button up, but had only managed to button a couple of the lower ones in his rushed state, exposing his lean and muscular chest. your eyes haphazardly glanced down.
“going for a new slutty look?” you mocked
“oh shut up. you have the patience of a two year old” he shot back as he buttoned the rest of his shirt. you snorted.
“well” he said raising his eyebrows at you
“turn around”
you spun your back to him as his fingers snapped up your zipper.
“thank youuu” you said turning around with a smile. matt’s gaze trailed down from your face and over your figure that was hugged tightly by the black sparkly fabric that stopped only inches below your waist.
“what?” you laughed, confused by his quietness.
“oh-uh-nothing-“ he stuttered, turning away to grab his tie
“am i dressed wrong?”
“no-no you-you look really great” he said with a half smile.
“cmon let’s head out i’ll call us a car”
the party was loud and ridiculously flashy. Matt mingled with people he knew while you stuck a few feet behind. most of the people at events like this had no interest in talking to a no one like you. over an hour had passed and you were just about to ask matt when was a socially acceptable time to head out when you felt someone tap your shoulder. you turned around to see a tall man smiling down at you.
“so why did no one tell me about the competition to bring the prettiest date?” he asked
“the—what?” you stuttered
“i’m joking! but whoever brought you tonight would’ve won”
“oh—thank you?” you felt your cheeks flush slightly
“so who did?” he questioned with a smirk
“i’m sorry?”
“bring you here tonight? who’s your date”
“oh! oh matt did! but not date im just his friend” you nervously giggled
“so what im hearing is your not spoken for?” you had to admit this man was charming and the first interesting thing since being at this party, so you figured what was the harm in entertaining him. as you continued to make flirtatious small talk you felt eyes on you. you whipped around to see matt from a nearby corner staring at you, clearly paying no attention to the two girls talking at him. you gave him a smile, but his blank expression didn’t waiver. it struck you as weird, but you figured he was probably just zoning out.
about 45 minutes of flirting had quickly changed from fun to monotonous. you were preparing to excuse yourself to “go to the bathroom” when a tight grip latched onto your upper arm.
“I wanna leave” matt said flatly in your ear
“wha—oh okay” matt headed for the door, leaving you behind. you said a rushed goodbye and chased after him.
“matt—wait!” he stopped and turned to look at you.
“what the hell?” you said catching up
“didn’t know if you were coming. cars almost here”
matt’s jaw was visibly clenched in the dim lighting of the car. he stared straight ahead not speaking. it was only about a 6 minute drive to the hotel but it felt like a eternity. the hotel lobby was empty as it was past 2 in the morning.
“what’s wrong?” you finally asked as the elevator door shut behind the two of you.
“nothings wrong”
“bullshit. you’re acting weird”
“nope. guess i’m just tired” he said still refusing to look at you
“no i know you and you—“ you were cut off by the sound of your phone going off
“that your new friend from the party?” matt snarked
“my what? what are you talking about?”
“that guy who was all over you”
“guy—is that what’s making you act all weird?—“ suddenly the floor beneath you jolted. the elevator had stopped moving.
“you gotta be fucking kidding me” matt muttered
“did the elevator just break?”
“fucking perfect” he said with an exasperated laugh. you frantically began pressing the help button.
“Hello front desk—“
“Hi—yeah—um the elevator is stuck—“
“Hi ma’am—yes we’re aware—my apologies maintenance has been informed”
“How soon will they be here?”
“within a half hour—“
“A HALF HOUR?”
“I’m so sorry miss, we send the majority of staff home around midnight. were handling this best we can—“
“Okay. I understand. just please as soon as possible”
you backed up to lean against the wall where matt had already settled. silence again.
“well you’re stuck with me now” you attempted to joke
“yup” matt said coldly
“matt seriously? do you have a history with that guy or something”
“it’s not the guy thats my problem”
“oh so what? i’m the problem”
“i didn’t say that—“
“well you implied it—can you look at me?” you snapped. matt turned his face to you.
“i don’t like watching some guy all over you okay—”
“I had no idea that you cared about that sorta thing i mean girls are all over you—“
“of course I fucking care—“
“but why—“ your sentence was halted by matt’s right hand harshly grabbing your waist and his left hand holding onto your cheek, pulling your body flush to his and your faces only a sliver apart.
“because tell me you haven’t felt anything between us. and i’ll stop right now if you do and forget this ever happened. tell me you don’t feel anything for me right now.” he said in a gravely whisper, the warm air of his breath caressing your lips. your eyes flitted back and forth across his that starred hungrily at your lips, pupils blown. without thinking you smashed your lips against his, closing the little space left between you. matt froze for a second before passionately joining you in the kiss. his hand wrapped around to your back, pulling you impossibly closer to him as the other latched itself into your hair. your tongues began to entwine with one and other, battling for dominance. Matt pulled gently on your lower lip with his teeth, before unlocking his lips with yours. you stared up at him breathlessly, not wanting to have stopped. he smirked at the slightly helpless expression on your face before using his grip in your hair to tug your head back to expose your neck. he lowered his lips to give you a sloppy warm kiss on your delicate skin. you let out a soft sigh and matt took this moment of weakness as an opportunity to push you up against the back wall. he continued to pull and kiss at your neck and collar bone, his hands digging into the skin around your hips. heat had began to form between your legs and you let out an involuntary moan as matt bit down on your flesh. one of your legs wrapped around his. he inhaled sharply and looked back up at you.
“careful—you might start something you don’t mean to” he panted
“i know exactly what i wanna start” you whispered before pulling him by his tie back to your lips. you rolled your hips up against him.
“oh you’re in for it now” he groaned against your mouth, pressing his crotch against you. your dress had now pathetically rolled up almost to your hipbones. matt pressed his clothed bulge between your legs, creating friction against your now exposed thong. you were practically dripping at the feeling. his strong hands slid down to your bare ass cheeks and squeezed the plush flesh as he continued to grind himself against you. soft sounds of pleasure tumbled from your mouth.
“your moans are even sexier then i imagined” he huffed against your neck
“yeah? you like hearing me moan for you, matty?” you whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck
“just hearing you does something to me”
“what does it do to you?” you said innocently. he lifted his head to look you in the eye. he moved one of his hands from your ass on top of your own delicate smaller hand which he then guided down his own torso. the two of you panting like wild animals against each other at the insufferable tension as your hand got lower and lower.
“why don’t you find out for yourself” he whispered as your hand finally reached his covered crotch. your eyes still locked to his, you pressed your palm against his hard on. the feeling of his size alone sent tingles through your body. he moaned at the contact. you repeated the motion. his eyes rolled back into his head. watching him like this was addictive.
“fuck—feels so good—“ he sighed out
“been hard all night cause of you”
“you have?”
“second i saw you in that dress all i could think about was fucking you”
“you thought about fucking me?” you teased. matt grabbed your wrist.
“all the time.” his eyes trailed down your heaving chest to your slightly parted legs, the delicate lace of your thong just visible. he let go of your wrist and ran his fingers from your hip over the top of your thigh to the waist band of your underwear and halted.
“you ever thought about fucking me”
“maybe” you teased, still trying to keep some composure. he lowered his touch expertly to your clit. you bit your lip.
“do you ever touch yourself when you think about me” matt began to drag his finger tips up and down your barely covered slit.
“sometimes”
“does it make you wet” he began to pull the fabric of your thong to the side. you let out a gasp as the cool air hit your exposed folds. you nodded slightly
“nuh uh. i wanna hear you say it.”
“say what”
“tell me i make you wet.“
“you make me so wet matt— i want you so bad—-“
“good girl” he said giving you a light kiss
“and good girls get rewarded” he hummed against your lips as he began to push two fingers into your leaking entrance. you let out a loud moan as you felt his digits begin to rhythmically penetrate your core. you clawed at his flexed biceps
“oh—god—matt—“ you whined
“you like that, beautiful?” he cooed into your ear
“so fucking much” matt began to pick up the pace. you felt a knot in the pit of your stomach start to form.
“shit—i’m close—“ right as the words tumbled from your lips the floor beneath you jolted once more. you and matt shared a panicked look as you both scrambled to collect yourself as the elevator retook its motion. you frantically yanked your dress back down just in time for the doors to slide back open. a hotel employee greeted you
“I am so incredibly sorry about this my sincere apologies. We’ll be comping a part of your stay—“
“oh really it’s fine. we weren’t paying for ourselves to begin with” you brushed off
“still if there’s any way we can make this up to you. let me assist you back to your rooms-what’re the numbers?“ he said hurrying down the hall. you opened your mouth to answer but felt matt yank at your list
“were both in 611, actually” matt barked. you raised an eyebrow at him.
“oh im not done with you yet.”
———————————————————————
ending note:
HEY YALLLLLLLL
IM BACK BABY!!
i’m so sorry i went MIA! i had the craziest last two months of my life and then to top it off i got hit w food poisoning and was in the ER sooooo BUT ANYWAYS IM BACK NOW AND BETTER THAN EVER!
hope u guys like this one i started it like a month ago SO it’s FINALLY coming along. PART TWO SOON
and she’s gonna be FILTHY
589 notes · View notes
cranberryjuice-posts · 2 months
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- this butch this butch -
Pairings - Butch Abby x housewife! Milf! reader
IMPORTANT - takes Place in the 40’s / Abby is referred to as Abby and is written with He/Him pronouns UNTIL reader finds out she’s a she
If ur currious what the Lingerie looked like
Tw - SHITTY SMUT‼️‼️ oral sex, fingering, erm that’s abt it guys it takes place in the 40’s idk 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️
An - the smut is like kinda at the end and short bc idk
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Rushing around the house you struggled to prepare dinner. Tonight was important, your father had decided to come by for dinner bringing along his understudy Andy Anderson, your husband was currently out in the living room entertaining your father and your baby girl June was currently playing on the kitchen floor with her blocks.
“Ok ok.. steak for main course and I’ll do lobster bisque for the appetizer” you mumbled while grabbing the ingredients you needed.
“Mama” your daughter asked from where she sat, walking over to your todler you crouched down to her smiling. “Yes baby?”
“Square” she held up a block. Letting out a content sigh you took the wooden toy from your daughter, setting it aside you kissed her forehead. “Yes baby that’s a square, now mommy has to take care of dinner ok so be a good girl and play with your toys” Getting back up you returned to your meal prep.
After an hour the door opened, stepping in John. As he entered the kitchen your dusted the flour off of your hands while he found his way over to you, bending down he placed a soft kiss on your lips before heading towards the liquor cabinet. “John.. common I’m making dinner and June is up, can’t you wait until later”
He didn’t respond. “John p—“
“I heard you the first time” he snapped. Your breath caught in your throat, being married to your husband for the past 6 years you’ve learned quickly about his temper. And his hand.
Nodding slowly you started baking again. Checking on your soup June started crying as she hit her hand on a chair. “Your daughter is crying” John spoke as he prepared two glasses. “Yes.. uh could you please get her I’m sorry I’m just busy with dinner”
John however ignored you, walking out while heading back towards the living room. “God..” you sighed with your daughter practically screaming, before you could walk over to her the door opened once again making you pause in your step, being faced to face with a long forgotten crush of yours.. Andy . “Oh my god Andy I— please you don’t-“ you stumbled against your words while you tried to clean yourself up some. Andy chuckled shaking his head while picking up June. “It’s ok, I don’t mind helping out”
“Thank you” giving him a grateful smile. Sitting down at the counter Andy started to watch as your Finshed your meal. Normally you preferred being in the kitchen alone, but Andy was different. Being around him made you happy, it also didn’t help that he was insanely attractive. His strong arms and short well kept Blonde hair, and for some reason being around him gave you this flustered feeling. It was a wonder how he hadn’t been swooped up by some lucky woman .“so how’s your marriage going” Andy asked drawing your attention.
“Hm? Me oh it’s going.. nothing to bad though” you chuckled trying to make light of the situation. “Oh by the way Andy could you please take June out and set her in her high chair? You’d be doing me a major favor” you pleadingly asked, he of coursed nodded leaving to do as you asked.
——
All you asked for was a normal dinner. Sitting across the table from you was Andy. You knew he liked you, you may of been younger than him by a couple years but you could tell how he tried to peek at your cleavage through your dress or how he appreciated your victory curls. Though you didn’t mind the attention as it was more than you received from your husband.
Cleaning up the now emptied plates, you smiled as your dad complimented your cooking skills. “Aw dad it’s nothing to write home about”
“Ha! As if im Gonna Need you to start cookin for me every night” he laughed pulling a cigar out his pocket. Going outside you expected your husband to follow him the same as Andy only this time he followed you to the kitchen. “Well I think tonight went gr—“ the next thing you knew your jaw hit the sink then you laid on the floor.
“First thing Sunday you will go to the priest and confess about how you practically eye fucked another man infront of me.” John simply spoke while adjusting his shirt sleeve. “What?” You quietly asked, your tears staining the floor bellow you.
He scoffed. “Don’t act suprised you knew what you were doing. I saw how you act with Andy. Clean yourself up and get this nasty kitchen cleaned as well” he harshly spoke before leaving.
———
“Annnd here’s mommy” Andy smiled as he brought June into the kitchen, your daughter laughing excitedly. Almost immediately Andy noticed your closed off stance. Setting your daughter down He mumbled “Go find your grandpa ok” making sure the young girl was gone he made his way towards you
“What’s wrong” he asked standing behind you. You both had known each-other for a few years at this point, thus a friendship had grown over time. “Nothing” you mumbled.
He knew. You knew he knew. It was obivous. A small stain of blood on the floor, the first aid kit open and your formerly perfect curls now distressed.
Letting out a deep sigh he moved to be Standing beside you at the sink, now rinsing off the dishes he stayed quiet. “I’ve got it Andy”
He shrugged his shoulders “I know.”
“Andy this is a woman’s job please” You tried to push him back only he didn’t move. Giving up you stepped back watching while Andy finished off the plates putting them now in the drying rack.
Turning around He dried his hands before gently grabbing your face, rubbing a thumb over your bruising cheek and jaw. His critical gaze felt as though he knew how you felt. Your pain. Your cheeks flushed somewhat from his touch. Without realizing it you leaned into Andy kissing him.
A moment later you pulled back realizing he hadn’t kiss you back. “I’m sorry” you covered the bottom half of your face while holding your head low. “No no.. it’s not you trust me” his tone shocked as he quickly tried to assure you— you were in the right by squeezing your arms. “Your absolutely perfect in every way it’s just that.. there’s some stuff about me that you wouldn’t approve of, that would make you reject me”
Looking up confused you tilted your head. “What is it..” keeping eye contact with him. You knew he wouldn’t tell you without you putting up a fight. “I swear on everything Andy that I won’t tell.. if I do then you can tell John how I kissed you…. So please what is it” debating for a moment he finally sighed giving into you. Taking his hands away from you but keeping your bodies close he untucked his shirt pulling it open.
That’s when you realized it. Andy wasn’t a man.. rather he was a woman. “Your..”
“Yeah..” she sighed, Closing her shirt. “My Name is Abigail— Abby for short, not Andy. Legally a few years ago I changed my name to Andy because I couldn’t stand the thought of being a mans wife. So I changed. I changed everything about me and I ended up landing a pretty good spot at your fathers company” she slightly chuckled.
You kept your hands towards your chest. Out of everything Andy actually being named Abigail and being a woman was not what you expected. Pulling your eyes away from Abby you finally reached out, softly touching her chest which was covered by a thin tanktop. You felt the woman’s breath falter.
Standing on your tippy toes once again you placed your lips onto Abby’s. It was a quick peck. “Your not disgusted” she asked quietly with her hands on the counter behind you. “No.. if anything you being a woman makes you even more attractive”
That was all it took before Abby quickly jerking you into her kissing you hungerily. Bringing your hands to the girls face and wrapping an arm around her neck you deepend the kiss with Abby’s hands finding that special spot in your back as if to say ‘she’s got you’.
You’ve heard of lesbians before. It was a new term but still far away from being a socially acceptable term. From an early age you knew you liked women. It was hard not to but you knew that it was either conform to society and marry a man, have a kid and a family or be an outcast and alone forever. However in this moment you were prepared to throw everything out of the window if it meant to be with her
Pulling back you panted keeping Abby close. “John’s gonna leave.. he says it’s because the office needs him but I know he’s going to fuck his secretary. Midnight come by at 12, I know he won’t be back til morning and June will be long asleep” stepping back from the woman you tried to fix your curls in the mirror on the liquor cabinet. “The back door will be unlocked for you”
“What are You saying” she chuckled fixing her shirt some, Abby’s cheeks were completely red. “You know what I’m saying..” looking back over at her, there was this unspoken agreement between you both.
“Ok. I’ll be back at 12:00am sharp” she gave a small smile, kissing you softly once again.
———
Just as You Said John had left soon after your father. Spending the next hour you put June to bed, now leaving you with three hours to get ready.
Once midnight came around Abby walked in through the back door of your house finding it unlocked like you promised. Making her way upstairs she stopped at your door. Hesitant like this was all some fucked up dream. After a small mental pep talk she softly knocked on the door before stepping in.
Stepping inside the woman paused. You stood by your bed wearing a black lingerie set. The simple black bra and silk shorts with fishnets underneath. A few candles were lit and your hair redone. Shyly standing fiddling with your hands.
“My god.” Abby spoke breathless as she closed the door. Walking to you she held your hips admiring your body. “I.. I tried, um.. I had originally got this for John and I’s sixth anniversary but I figured this was a much better occasion”
Abby leaned forward trailing soft kisses from your jaw to your lips. Her hands dragged up loving your skin while you kissed. Bitting your bottom lip you let out a soft moan allowing Abby to slip her tongue in.
The kiss repeating multiple times until she pushed you down onto the bed. Her knee finding itself between your legs. “Off” she whispered. “What?” You asked breathless. Abby hooked her finger under the bra strap pulling it down. Once realizing you quickly took the top off setting it aside.
The blonde kissed down your neck, finding her way to your breast. Licking over the sensitive nipple she smiled as you tried to hold back a moan. Sucking on your breast she showed the same love towards the other with her hand.
She rhymathically rubbed her knee against your aching core. Covering your mouth you tried your best to hide a loud cry. Feeling yourself grow wetter you couldn’t help but start to grind your hips against the woman’s leg.
“Abby..” you softly cried grabbing at her short mannish hair. “I know sweet girl I know” she whispered still kissing your chest. Switching her mouth to the second revelishing in the fact you never felt like this with your husband.
Letting go of your nipple with a pop like sound she stood up from where she previously was. Taking off her suspenders Abby made quick work of her button down and pants leaving her in her briefs and wife beater pleaser. Taking a moment to admire Abby’s muscular physique, you looked away embarrassed
Getting down into her knees she pulled you to the edge of the bed. Bringing your underwear and fishnet socks down Abby had to restrain herself from loosing control. After your daughter birth you never managed to loose all the pregnancy weight, your lower half of stomach having a noticeable pudge with dark stretch marks.
Feeling Abby’s eyes on you, you tried to hide your stomach with your hands however she forced them away. “Abby please it’s disgusting”
“Oh sweet sweet girl.. it’s the furthest thing from disgusting, baby I’m having to restrain myself even now from fucking your senseless. You are the most attractive woman I’ve ever laid eyes on”
Her words making you turn red. Embarrassed still you stopped resisting Abby’s gaze and let yourself relax. Watching as the woman positioned herself between you, she looked up asking for your permission. You nodded at first which she didn’t appreciate “common sweet girl I need you to give me a yes or I’m not doing anything”
“Yes damnit Abby” you whined. She grinned at your neediness, not wanting to make you wait any longer she leaned in kissing your clit.
A whole new feeling of pleasure courses through your body as you felt Abby start to suck on your sensitive bud. Lapping her tongue through your folds and even teasing your throbbing hole.
Trying to keep quiet you gave soft breathy moans while having a firm grip on her hair. Abby tightly held your thighs as she continued to sloppily lick at you, your juices running down her chin.
Abby looked up at you slapping your thigh to get your attention you looked down. Her free hand now running lines with her thumb over your sopping cunt. “You keep your eyes on me, if you don’t then I’ll stop” agreeing faster than you should of you kept your gaze down at the blonde
Abby knew she wasn’t one to deny you, almost immediately going back to what she had previously been doing.
After taking a few moments she slipped a finger into you. Moaning loud you covered your mouth worried your daughter might wake up. There was a momentarily pause where you both kept an ear out incase June had indeed woken up. You could feel Abby laughing against your leg making you softly hit you with your thigh.
She rolled her eyes before moving back down between your legs. Her thick finger moving in and out as she continued to suck on your clit you felt a long forgotten feeling building up. Abby knew you were close, by how your breath started to increase and how you started to grind yourself against her face wanting— needing more.
Before you realized it yourself you had came. Falling back as you had no strength to keep yourself up, Abby continued to lick at you until you were completely cleaned.
Coming back up she towered over you pinning you down to the bed capturing you in one final kiss.
———
Laying in your bed together both nude you laughed softly as abby held you close finding one of the dumb jokes she had told you amusing. Hiding your face in her neck you realized that this was where you always wanted to be. To be in her arms, to be in her bed, hearing her dumb jokes, To be her wife.
“Abby” you mumbled against her skin.
“Yeah” she Hummed while playing with one of your curls. “John’s gettin enlisted into the army for the war. He told me a week ago. He leaves in a few days.. while he’s gone if he comes back alive I’ll divorce him and if he dies it’ll make this next part easier.” You spoke with a gentle tone.
Pulling back from Abby you shifted around until you sat up looking down at her. “I’ve known you since I was 18.. the past 8 years I couldn’t of asked for a better friend and now I know what I want.. Abigail Anderson. I want you to be mine.. in public you will be my husband but behind closed doors, in the comfort of our home and in our bedroom away from prying eyes you will be my wife”
Abby stayed quiet for a moment. Trying to search her eyes for an answer you noticed as the strong woman started to cry. Worried you said something wrong you tried to speak but were quickly cut off by her sitting up to kiss you. “I would like nothing more then that.. my wife” she pulled you into her hugging you close.
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mimiri22-6 · 2 years
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I'm going to be throwing myself so far into escapism for a while now so if i say anything i might not 100% mean in the furture just know that a peice of my heart has been torn out and will never run again
0 notes
qraceiuv · 6 months
Text
"slut!" jude bellingham.
summary — you finally release an unexpected song about your relationship after receiving countless hate for it.
notes — send reqs and shit 😙
warnings — hate comments thats it rlly
_________________________________________
y/nsusername
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y/nsusername: 🍒👡
username: she never posts jude anymore
username: i rlly dont like her
— username: okay...
username: shes using jude idc
username: bet jude got those heels for her
— username: u act like she isnt a model/singer whos just as successful as him
username: she doesnt deserve him
— username: and you do?
username: ur all insane and sad. leave her alone
username: shes too pretty to be acting the way she does
— username: she doesnt do anything...
username: slut
y/nsusername
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y/nsusername: coming soon...
username: OH??
username: yayy
username: nobody cares
username: i cant take her seriously
username: still no jude posts
username: she didnt even go to his match yesterday
username: she always uses guys wtf
username: why does evergone hate her?
— username: because shes dating jude and people are stupid
y/nsusername
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y/nsusername: my new single "slut!" drops tonight, and i can't wait for you all to hear it. i love this song and myself, and to be able to share it is a pleasure. 🤍🩵
username: omg.
username: her naming it slut... not even gonna listen
username: WHAT.
username: im freaking out
username: this is abt to be a power move.
username: oh!
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judebellingham
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judebellingham: My lovely y/n - I'm endlessly proud of her and everything she has accomplished as of recently. Her strength is beyond me and I will forever admire it.
Lots of things have been said about her these past few months, and I realize I should've made a statement. Her kindness told me not to, but now is the right time to share my love for such an amazing woman. Y/n has dealt with so much hate in the world, and I hate to see it. You never know the person behind the screen, and I have always encouraged kindness. Please apply it to those I love.
I have never felt so happy with anyone than I do with you, Y/n. I love you, and I love all of you who have stuck by us and supported my favorite girl.
username: i will cry.
username: i hope u all shut up now
username: BRO HE LOVES HER SM😭
username: the hating bitches are silent now
username: js a ton of 12 year olds jealous
username: i love them sm
username: "slut!" was so cunty idc
username: stream slut!!!!!
y/nsusername: ❤️❤️❤️💋💋💋
y/nsusername: i love you so much.
— judebellingham: I love you so much more
judebellingham added to their instagram story!
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bangchansgirlsblog · 7 months
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Overprotective
-9th member
Warnings: Angst, fighting.
Pairing: strays kids 9th member
Summary: being an idol is hard but it’s even harder when you want to be a normal teen but you can’t.
Enjoy!🩷
**
"But Chris!" I say yelling from the other side of the room.
We had been arguing for almost 10 minutes now and he wasn’t budging at all.
"I know you wanna go for the concert but we have a flight the next day, it won't be okay and I'm not risking you going out alone with non of the boys with you." He says crossing his hands and glaring at me.
"But Chris! I'll be with the girls-"
"The girls that im not in charge of! The girls that drink like maniacs and do stupid shit. You'll end up in a ditch!" He shouts at me.
He was currently sat on the dining table and his laptop was out meaning he was doing work.
I thought it would be a good idea to ask him about going for a concert tonight with the girls that I used to train with. They had invited me out and since I had been behaving I thought Chan would allow me too.
"Please Chan this is the only time I get to be a normal teen. I'll be back early and I won't touch or do anything illegal I promise." I complain in my whining voice.
"Nope." He simply says and I get even more angry.
"Chris you don't even let me go out! Why are you being like this!" I grab the pillow and throw it at him but he dodges it and glares at me.
"You know why I am! Im not arguing about this anymore. Go to your room and make sure all your stuff is packed. This conversation is done.”
"Ugh! I wish I never became a K-pop idol! I hate you!" I scream. I knew I was being dramatic but I had to atleast get my lick back. I refused to let him win this argument.
"If I knew you were gonna act like this I wouldn't pick you in the first place! You’re such a brat!" His voice louder than before.
"Woah woah woah what's going on In here?" Leeknow says walking into the room. Obviously coming out from the shower.
"Get your daughter before I yell at her even more." He tells him. standing up to pace the room.
"Y/nie what happened baby girl?" Leeknow asks wrapping his arms around me.
I knew if I told leeknow about the concert he would have been more stern than Chan. He would have mean more stricter.
“Hey why are you crying? Talk to me.” He softly says wiping off the tears that run down my cheeks.
“It’s nothing, Chan’s just being a jerk,” I spat and shrugged his arms off before walking up the stairs.
"What did you do Chan?" I hear him ask Chan.
Chan and leeknow always acted like the mum and dad of the group. In every situation.
I hear them whispering, Chan probably telling him about the concert and I hear leeknow gasping. Knowing trouble was coming my way I silently groan and walk in the dark corridors making my way to my room.
All the other guys were at practice or shopping cause we were going to leave in the morning so the house was quiet.
Being an idol was fun, I enjoyed it but that means I wasn't allowed to grow up in a normal space.
Being the youngest in the group of boys made it worse cause they were bugging on me and checking on me 24/7 and since my parents didn't leave in Korea they gave all guardian rights to Chan. Making me his "child".
A sigh escapes my mouth.
I sit on the carpet and fold my clothes while putting them in my pink suitcase.
We were going to New York for Lollapolza so I had to make sure I packed quite a lot. So I was busy, my thoughts were taunting me.
Chan's words didn't leave my head as I was busy packing up everything,
I was so upset that I didn't hear or see Leeknow walking in.
I wipe my tears and give him a smile, knowing he was going to scold me. I just knew it.
"Honey." He says with his scolding tone.
"Yes leeknow."
"You've disappointed me" he softly says.
"But Lee-"
"Chan is your elder, he watches over you like a father. He makes sure you eat sleep and rest and he helps you get to the goals you wanna reach right?"
"Yes but Leeknow-"
"No no no, you've hurt his feelings. I want you to apologize because I know me and him didn't raise you like this. We raised you to be respectful and to listen" he holds my hand and slowly rubs circles on them just to make sure I wasn’t upset but I was.
"What about my feelings leeknow you don't want to listen to me!" I blurt out frustrated.
He takes it by surprise cause I never dared raise my voice at him or yell at him.
"Excuse me?" He says raising an eyebrow. I quickly regret it and say a tiny “sorry” causing him to nod his head for me to continue
"Leeknow it's tiring watching all my friends having fun while I'm stuck on the side. When my friends are partying and having fun, I have dance practice from 6-12 in the night. I'm tired I just asked for one night out."
"But look baby girl, I know you want to be normal sometimes but you worked for this. You chose this life and the harsh truth is, Chan is looking out for you and our image. You can't be caught out drinking and smoking with boys." He says softly.
He obviously didn't get it but I was so exhausted from fighting I just nodded.
"Okay now wash your face, the boys are almost home and we'll have dinner. I hope your done packing." He says while getting up from the ground.
I just say a little hum and zip up my bag.
I take a shower and wear what looked like Jeogin's hoodie and some sweatpants and make my way down stairs.
All the guys were sitting on the table and the tension in the room was high.
"Hey munchkin," Han says kissing my forehead.
I tell him a little hello and he frowns at my dull face.
He obviously knew why I was upset but he didn't know it affected me this much.
Leeknow brings out the food and we all start to eat when I get a text on my phone causing me to look at it.
Maknae's On 🔝 :
Felix: we hard about the fight you had with Chan 😬
I.N: yeah sorry about it pookie.
Y/n: Guys we're on the table Chan is going to tell us off! Stop texting.
*cough cough* I look up to see Chan glaring at me obviously wanting to get my attention.
"No phones on the table Y/n you know this." Chan says while putting his fork down
"I was telling them to stop-"
"Just put it away and stop arguing." He cuts me off and grabs the bowl of potatoes.
"Are you serious right now Chan?" I ask in disbelief.
Why was he only picking on? Was he that angry at me? If he was going to be mad he should just say so instead of picking on me.
"Y/n let it go." Changbin says getting in the middle of the fight.
"But I was just-"
"What did we talk about?" Leeknow asks.
I scoff and put my phone down.
Saying things under my breathe because I was so mad.
The evening consisted of all the boys talking about the flight and discussed dance moves or general performance things.
I sit there quiet thinking about how I would be at a concert right now having a blast but I was home being given the Cold shoulder.
I grab my plate and put it in the sink leaving everyone in the dining room and making my way to my room.
I turn off all the lights and sit in the darkness scrolling through my phone trying to calm down.
It was long before I heard a knock on the door.
It was my oldest ‘brother’.
"Can I come in?" He softly says but I turn my back on him and look the other direction. Still very angry at him.
"Fair enough, I still am coming in." He sighs and sits by my bed.
The room is quiet.
"I'm sorry Y/nie" he says while brushing my hair.
His touch is soft and delicate almost like he didn’t want to break me or hurt me.
When he realized I wasn’t going to talk he just continued talking:
"Your the only girl in the group AND your the youngest. I worry okay? I worry because as men in this industry we see a lot but the women have seen worse. Your still a baby Y/nie. I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you. I basically raised you. I want the best for you always. I know what I said has hurt you, it wasn't my intention but you hurt me, and being your older brother I was disappointed. Channie loves you so much and Im happy your on my team okay?" He finalizes and I feel a drop on my shoulder.
I look at him and watch he had tear stained eyes. My heart breaks and the guilt starts to fill my stomach.
"Oppa don't cry because of me. I'm sorry." I get up and wipe his tears. Hugging him tight.
"I was just angry, I don't hate you I promise. I just need to understand things Channie..." I trail off and look at my hands.
“And that’s okay, you’re still young and I’m going to do whatever it takes to protect you.” He softy says and pulls me into his arms one last time.
“Also I’m sorry for yelling at you during dinner, I put the boys out in time out.”
“You did?”
“Yeah no gaming for the next hour.” He says proudly.
“Ohh that’s a nice one.” I give him a high five while we laugh.
**
Hey *with rizz*😜
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