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serialcultist-edwardmunson · 1 year

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Part 4 “Bartender Steve/Steddie AU”

Part 3 HERE

Eddie wakes up and immediately has no clue where he is. He wishes he could use the excuse of his past inter-dimensional trauma for the panic that bubbles up instantly, but unfortunately he’s had morning amnesia since he was a small child. So he stays still, calms his breathing, waits until the vague memory of stumbling up the fire escape with Steve Harrington and crawling in through the window resurfaces to the front of his memory. He flings himself upward and is hit with instant regret as his head pounds and his stomach does a circus worthy flip-flop, causing him to peel himself off the couch and race towards the general direction he remembers Steve telling him the bathroom is in. He heaves bile and a rivers worth of water into the toilet, resting his head on the seat when hes sure its all up. He isnt sure how long he’s sitting there before a hand on his back startles him upwards,

“Hey, Its just me.” Steve says quietly, moving around Eddie so he can simultaneously see the mans face and rub circles along his spine. Eddie sinks back down, melting at the touch,

“G’morning, Stevie…” Eddied mumbles into the hand hes pillowed on, “Sorry for wakin’ you up.”

“You didnt, dont worry about it. Can i get you some water?” Eddie nods his response, eyes half closed, and all but whines when Steve takes his hand away. A few minutes later and steve returns with a glass of ice water and a slice of buttered toast, sitting down across from him,

“You gonna eat this while your face is on my toilet?” He asks raising the hand with the toast to specify. Eddie pushes himself up and off the toilet seat with a groan, instead leaning himself against the cupboard and taking the water first. He takes a big gulp before being handed the toast.

“So…” Eddie says, nibbling at the crust. His voice is hoarse from vomiting, “We gonna talk about it or…” Steve flushes, even though eddie hasn't even specified what yet,

“Talk about what?” He asks, slightly strained. Eddie smirks,

“How known womanizer and straightest man I know ends up bartending at a chicago gay club?” Steves face relaxes, the question obviously not what he was thinking it would be,

“Oh. Um…” he struggles with his words,

“Oh?” Eddie echoes, “what did you think i was gonna say?” Steve shakes his head,

“Doesnt matter.” Eddie squints at him as he starts taking bigger bites of the toast,

“You gonna answer my question?” He says through a mouth full of bread. Steve bites at his lip nervously, suddenly finding a loose thread on his pajama pants VERY interesting. He opens his mouth to speak multiple times and closes it deciding against whatever he was gonna say. Eddie feels the mirth drain from his body,

“You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever youre about to say, its not gonna change anything.” Steve takes a deep breath,

“I thought you would have already gotten your answer from your new pal Roger.” He finally looks up at Eddie, worry clouding his eyes,

“A little bit, yeah, but he said you werent gay and i should ask you.” Steves runs his hands through his sleep flattened hair,

“Um, yeah. Not gay. Not really sure where I fit in, just know Im not ‘the straightest man you know’ anymore. Or ever were, I guess.” He says the last part extra quite, then continues,

“I find more and more that I dont care about the sex side of things like i used to. I dont know…” he shrugs, “maybe all the trauma finally caught up with me.” Eddie looks him over curiously. Steve isnt meeting his eye, and hes still picking at that damn string,

“Romantic attraction and sexual attraction aren’t connected. They can vary widely in one person, y’know?” Steve nods,

“I know.” He says, but something still seems to be bothering him, “dont…” he starts, finally meeting eddies eye, “dont tell the party just yet. They know I work at a bar, they just dont know the specifics and im not ready to have this conversation with them.”

“Were you ready to have this conversation with me?” Eddie asks, suddenly feeling a bit like an ass. Steve hesitates before saying,

“I dont think i would have ever been ready to have this conversation with you.” Its so quite eddie almost doesnt catch it, but he knows it was meant to be heard by the way steves eyes never leave his,

“What's that supposed to mean?” Eddie feels a weight in his chest. Why was he not good enough for steve to come out to?

“Im out to everyone I know here in chicago, but… the only people from hawkins that know are rob and joyce.”

“Mrs. Byers knows!?”

“Yeah, she, uh guessed and came to me about being someone i could talk to. Kinda spilled the beans in a heart to heart.”

“What made her guess?” Steves face flushed again, which he seemed to feel and covered it with both his hands,

“Dont freak out?”

“ course not stevie.” Eddie could see steve shake his head at the nickname. Steve takes a deep breath,

“Man,” he huffed a laugh, “i had the most pathetic thing for you after… yknow, everything. She saw straight through me as soon as she had us all in a room together.” Eddies eyebrows shoot up to his bangs, and he tries to think of the first big get together after the ‘earthquake’. He opens his mouth to respond, hesitating a second too long and steve jumps in instead,

“I mean, dont worry, im not about to hit on you. Not trying to make you uncomfortable. Just,since you asked. are you gay? Sorry, dont answer that. robin always says my radar is shit and i feel like the chicks probably love your look. But I didnt wanna lie to you, cause-”

“Stevie,” eddie puts a hand up to slow down the other mans robin-inspired rant. Steve stops, mouth snapping shut, cheeks pink,

“What do you think i was doing dancing on a man, not with, ON,” eddie emphasised, “in a gay club. In these clothes.” He gesturs down to his attire, and then looks down to realize hes in sweatpants and an old hawkins high shirt,

“Oh thats just cruel…” eddie mutters. Steve laughs, and eddie can just about hear all the tension release in the mans body all at once,

“Sorry, it was the first thing i grabbed and you werent really trying to stay upright for much longer.” Eddie only vaguely remembers trying to shuffle the clothes on. Hes not even sure he was really drunk at that point, mostly just exhausted. He finishes up the last of his toast,

“You think youre gonna keep that down long enough to move this to the living room? Ill stick a pot of coffee on.” Steve points at the door behind eddie, who contemplates the wobbliness of his stomach real quick,

“Yes to coffee, please.” He says, starting to push himself up. A hand shoots out in front of him, an offering of help. He takes it, and when he gets pulled up, he accidentally overcompensates and has to stop himself with his palm against steves chest. Hes mere inches away from steves face, his brown eyes, his lips... Something pools in his stomach, and he hesitates letting go of the man, but he snaps to reality and clears his throat, dropping his hands and muttering a quiet thank you.

In the living room, eddie grabs up his blankets and nests himself into the corner of the couch while steve starts the coffee. Eddie watches steve move around the open space, flitting from the sink to the cupboards and back again,

“Man, im so sorry for waking you.” He says, propping his head on his arm off the back of the couch,

“You didnt i promise, ive been up for a little bit.”

Eddie furrows his brow,

“What time even is it?”

“Almost one.”

“WHAT!?” Eddie launches himself up and steve turns around, a surprised look in his eyes at he outburst,

“What?” Steve echoes, coffee pot full of water in hand. Eddie starts looking around frantically,

“Where are my clothes, steve!”

“Oh, dryer. Closet next to the bathroom.”

Eddie practically sprints down the hallway,

“Shit shit shit…” he mutters to himself as he digs his clothes from the dryer,

“Why are you panicking, ed?” Steve asked, voice a bit muffled from the kitchen,

“Rehearsal started at 12!”

“Oh shit, um well i can drive you, let me just…” steve is now squeezing past eddie, who is mid shirt change, to get to his room and closes the door. Eddie takes this chance to switch his pants quickly. Man, he looks ridiculous wearing his nightclub clothes in broad daylight. Hes sitting on the couch putting on his shoes when steve finally comes out, dressed in an oversized sweatshirt and jeans with white sneakers. What eddie gets stuck on is the tortoishell glasses he has on his face. He looks so different from the steve he knew, with his mustache and longer hair now untied,

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up.” Steve says, taking eddies staring for anything other than what it was. God, eddie had to get over this man. By all means, this look shouldnt work for anybody, but somehow steve looked so comfortable and human that eddie cant help but smile fondly,

“You look good, stevie.” He echoes their words from last night. Pink tinges steves cheeks and ears, and he turns away quickly and snatches up his keys from the counter,

“Ready to go?” He asks, sort of breathless. Eddies smile widens,

“Onward!” He points ahead of him and marches out the door, hearing steve sigh and say with exasperation, “god i forgot how weird you are.”

“So youre in town for a show? Still with… corroded coffin, right?” Steve asks. Eddie lets out a low whistle, “damn, you were actually listening when i talked back then?” Steve rolls his eyes,

“Of course i listened to you. So yeah? The bands still together?”

“Oh, no.” Eddie chuckles, “we broke up years ago. Gareths still with me, though. We go by serial cultist now.”

“You have got to be shitting me.”

“Nope, not shitting you. The groupies are questionable but most of them are women and were all mega gay so… except gareth, but his wife keeps them at bay.” Eddie hears steve mutter “garrths married, no shit.” Under his breath and his heart feels fond. Eddie fiddles with the hem of his mesh shirt, trying to build up the courage to ask. Ah fuck it, he thinks,

“Do you, uh, wanna come to the show tonight? If not its cool, but i can add you to the list and you know theres no pressu-“

“I would love to.” Steve says smiling. Eddie goes silent, looking at the side of steves head a bit dumbstruck,

“Ok.” Is all eddie can say, and when he realizes thats not a good response, he shakes his head as if shaking away a thought and starts to smile himself,

“Ok, cool. I’ll, uh, have the venue add you to the list.” He turns so he's facing forward again, not sure what to say after that. The rest of the drive flies by and once they’re stopped, Eddie hops out. He rounds the car where steve has rolled down his window and leans in, faces only a couple inches apart,

“You can always change your mind about coming tonight. I know its not really your kind of music. Pinky promise I wont hold it against you.” Eddie puts his hand up right between them, pinky out. Steve looks at it, then back up at Eddie’s face,

“Get the fuck out of here, Munson. I’ll see you tonight.” He leans away from the window and puts the car into drive but keeps his foot on the brake. Eddie backs up to the sidewalk, a crooked smile showing off his dimple. He gives a sloppy salute,

“Alrighty, cap’n, see ya at dusk.” He turns away and walks to the doors. He's about to go in when Steve shouts,

“Save me a t-shirt!” And then drives off without a response. Eddie looks behind him at where the car had just been. He can’t wipe the stupid grin off his face no matter how hard he tries, and he knows the guys are never gonna let him live this down.

Tonight. He’d see steve again tonight.

#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steve x eddie

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cultivatingyourfuture · 4 months

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grinning emoji. you know which guy im thinking abkut rn. how well does he deal with being a catch and release

ok originally i had paragraphs upon paragraphs about why vallen is what he is but it got too complicated and far away from the og question so. sorry it took me a while 2 answer this LOL !!!

anyways. pretty well actually? like of course the nature of what they are BOTHERS him, why wouldn't it, but it's not like its their fault what happened happened. being made into what they were for the reasons they were is on the people who did it. vallen, at least by the end, knows what he wants and that the only persons whims he's to be beholden to are their own. he's not going to feel guilt on behalf of what another person used them to do, and they sure as hell aren't going to spend the rest of their life questioning why they are where they are because he knows why-- because he wants to be. and that's all that matters

vallens kind of ended up being a bit of a narrative foil for cherry (gay as fuck in my opinion) the more i focus on him because you know how i love my parallels and contrasting personalities , and one big way this manifests is how they regard their memories. obviously cherrys very attached to and fixated on what little they can gleam from the vaguest hints of whatever they lost and is very bothered by this lack of answers for where they came from or why. vallen, meanwhile, is characterized by a need to forget-- to bury their memories, not think about it, distract himself or erase it through any means necessary. it's only when that lack of memory becomes a problem that it starts to bother them-- when he starts noticing that something is very, very different and they cant pinpoint what happened or why, only a terrible sense of dread and a vague idea that something awful has happened. the one time hes spared the burden of remembering is the one time he, you know, **needs** to remember what happened-- to figure out whats going on with themself and, later, to help someone he does actually end up really caring about. (i also, sometimes, wonder if there's some resentment to be gained from knowing someone who got the chance to leave it all behind and start over in the exact way you'd want to. food for thought.) it's a wake up call to how he's been living-- do they really want to live their whole life pushing these things down, not confronting it on a meaningful level, just letting what happens to them happen and praying they'll black out before the worst of it? probably not. it obviously doesn't fix everything but it does get them asking some difficult questions that they've been ignoring for a long while now.

anyways when they're first confronted with this stuff he pretty much wants nothing to do with it-- he doesn't know anything about why theyre like this and wouldn't be able to help otherwise, and besides that he's not getting involved in something that seems like someone else's problem to deal with. he does kind of come around but it's less out of a desire to find out what's wrong with him and more of a desire to figure out why it's such a big deal for cherry because they just. Dont get it. she's lucky not to remember anything, after all, and why waste your time on something that's probably going to hurt you in the end when you can live your damn life and move on with it. and learning those answers does kind of actually endear them to each other and whoops they're friends now toooooo fucking bad

fizzle does find that vallen has technology within him that suggests remote piloting and this does IMMENSELY bother them and he does get it deactivated as soon as he can. the idea that he's been used in a way that negates any part of his will or wants makes him feel sick and angry and does motivate him to be involved with the story but he comes to make peace with it because. whatever he was used for, it. wasnt him. and they are not going to let someone give them the guilt that THEYRE supposed to possess. (more parallels. being made into something for the purpose of what someone else wants. continuation of the themes of "you are not responsible for the shit other people do to you" etc) which also baffles cherry bc if it was him she'd have a crisis of conscious . vallens good for making them calm the hell down sometimes i think but that's another post

the literal concrete reasoning for why vallen is what he is only comes out during that stretch of time where cherry is dead and that reasoning does initially throw him for a loop-- the idea you were made to find someone else and that not only did it work but it's the pretext for Why you came to care about them is unnerving-- but those people are gone now, and he's not controlled by them or anyone else anymore, and he still stays up at night to watch diagnostics flicker and to see if anything at all comes back online outside of their input, and he's sick of other people defining what he's supposed to feel or want and god damn it, they're the closest they've been to being happy in a while, and he refuses to let that be defined by anything else. he cares about people because he chose to and that's all that matters, and anyone who thinks that's a weakness to be utilized is not only wrong but fucking stupid. they're here because they want to be; if they didn't then they wouldn't. he's not going to let that define what he feels or thinks because that's up to them and not someone else.

anyway he's still not quite to the point where i want them, obviously, but i am trying to take the initial idea of their character-- someone who isn't impacted the way others were by this singular event partly because theyve already been through so much that this just. doesn't faze them the way it probably should-- and trying to extend it in new ways. vallens really bad about fitting into the molds other people make for them and letting other people tell them what they feel or what they are and i do like the idea that they end deciding to prioritize their wants and needs and feelings after Not Doing That.

there's some interesting themes here about the nature of autonomy and how that feeds into things like addiction and objectification but ill spare you the analysis on that. blows the fuck up

#this is disjointed and potentially nonsense but its fiiine #vallen #down-thedrain #asks #ive been rotating them in my mind for a while now. thinking of how they ended up like this and the usual .#and i like that i get to do an inverse of the eveline/cherry plot where instead of 'who am i -> oh my god nevermind i know who i am'#its 'i know who i am -> no the fuck i didnt thats what other people either wanted out of me / convinced me to do. fuck that'#also having fun with the fizzle / cherry / vallen dynamics (and i mean that separate of any pairings)#ok enugf tags. explorge s

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bignutspatrol · 1 year

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aight got rid of the irls. mental illness rambling, not anything negative, just reflecting again. big talk on dissociation so avoid if thats an issue for u

idk we used to be so terrified of the whole 'integration' thing but there is something so.. calming and beautiful(?) in acting as one. we're still different in a way, but we're so blurred together that there may as well be no difference between one another. 'switches' are basically seamless at this point, though we never had too much of an issue with that. Amnesia isnt an issue, i mean theres still some memories that we cant really.. access or thinking about it brings up a mental "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS" mental prompt. but like, with no real therapy getting this far is pretty good, no? i dont think i can get too much farther on my own, but thats fine for now. i think theres one or two parts that havent been integrated, judging from gaps and things ive just kinda observed. dissociating is still kind of an issue, but its hard to tell how much of that is from mental illness and how much is from my physical shit just being really bad rn. its never for very long though, and i can snap myself out of it at this point. looking back at how i used to feel like i was.. only ever vaguely aware of things going on, voices just constantly ordering around the body like im a puppet, the fear i felt back then. felt like i was drowning in pure ass dissociation. man. shits so much better. i mean theres also the fact that we actually communicate but. its so relieving to feel like im actually in control, and to actually be in control at least at times. and also to be able to actually trust my parts now too. i still cant tell who the fuck or what the fuck i am but thats fine? i dont think it matters too much at this point. sometimes it bothers me, but like....idk man, friends say im nice n cool, so who cares. i can recognize i have some bad habits and shit, and try to work on them... and the obsession with art is pretty consistent. so is this rambling. dont think what or who i am matters much past that. we've been mostly present the last year or so and its just... its so amazing how we act when we aren't clouded in that shit. feels like a completely new person. i mean it basically is lol but. its so fucking good, i thought i was just an asshole before that but nope! just hard to care or interact with people when your mind does not exist. turns out im kinda funny and bitches like that! who fucking knew. idk when i get that driving license i think ill finally bother to get a therapist. got some things i wanna do that i can only do when i get over the whole trauma shit.

even with all that said a lot of this progress happened /after/ being single. bpds like that lol. man im so fucking glad im over the whole 'if im single i wont be able to live, i can only have a happy life if im with someone' etc shit. i get where its coming from, have that compassion, etc etc, but like... Oh man. Hindsights 20/20. turns out i fucking love myself and love being on my own. i just also love chaotic slightly-bad relationships (i have some standards. not good ones.). gotta work on that too... hah. seriously funny that i kept going on and on abt how good my relationship with [several year dude] was and then. oop. hindsight hits, turns out! probably not that great. especially in the last year. i mean he did cheat on me after leaving me in the dark for months on end so like, no shit, but. idk best not to go into detail on that one. think some ppl that know him follow here lmao. dude is fine, just a bad partner. not abusive just not a good fit for me at all. maybe i just dont understand other depressed people at all lmao? tho my depression is kinda wacky since my emotions are kinda wacky as hell. gonna absolutely have to unpack that one with a therapist. i totally get why its like that but lmaooo solving that is too hellish for me.

#personal #even vaguely thinking about those memories makes the panic surge in someone. man...#still good to poke at them every now and then though i think? hm.#who knows.#not me. im not a fuckin professional. i just do a shit ton of research and experimentation #have a lot thoughts. wanted to just write them. and this account has always kinda been a place i put it #aside form my now deleted priv twt #there was a two whole extra paragraphs and then i was like. hm. no. thats a bit too big of a bomb to drop here actually lets keep that one #actually private i think lol #no one fuckin reads these (that is so fine) and no one follows this acc (also so fine) but like. its still not private enough ykn

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ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years

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Prompt: Vampire Chris drunk on blood?

CW: Drunkenness, drug addiction, blood drinking, vampirism, creepy abusive comfort, WWI-period-appropriate xenophobia and brief vague possible homophobia reference, dehumanization, war whump

"Now, that'll get you blotto faster'n French liquor," Kirk says, sinking back against the muddy trench wall, careless for the dirt caking itself into the hair at the nape of his neck.

His helmet lay beside him upside down on the ground, and his brown hair was free to explode in its wealth of curls, a kind of halo around his head. He had one arm out, sleeve rolled back. His hands were caked in mud and smeared with drying dirt - above the line of his sleeve, though, the skin was paper-white, almost clammy.

It was this white skin that the vampire's fangs were buried in.

"Shit, Holden, y'gotta have 'im bite you, too." Kirk's grin widens. The shells had gone silent but every man flinches, now and then, hearing a phantom sound or feeling a rumble beneath their feet.

At least it's finally stopped goddamn raining.

The venom rolls through Kirk's veins, soothing his jangled nerves. He can barely feel the trembling in his hands and it feels like his mind, when it's in him. He's a farm kid from western Nebraska, the second son and not needed so much as the first to bring the crops in. So here he is, learning to love the feeling of teeth in his skin.

Maybe when he gets shipped back home he'll stick to the cities. They say the vampires have their dens there, where they can hide. You can buy venom enough to quiet your mind for a day or two, the city boys tell him.

They're in it as deep as he is, now.

Feels like half the American army is itching for venom these days.

"No thank you. I'm not gonna get sent home and start chasing fangs like the rest of you." Holden squints, looking up into the dark sky, the rolling clouds that seem far too close to the ground. "It'll rain again soon."

"When isn't it going to rain again soon? Oh, right, when it's already bloody raining." That's a Brit, they just call him Tommy. No one knows his real name.

He claims to hate them all, but since half his unit was blasted apart two days ago, he's hung with the 'Yanks' close enough. Kirk thinks he's fond of them, even if he won't admit it. Or just scared to be alone. He can understand that. He's terrified of the thought himself. "Shove the little vamp over to me, Kirk, I want some."

The vampire pulls his fangs free, licking over the wounds he's made until they close. He's a skinny little thing, pale as paper with bright red hair they stuff under his helmet when he's running medic checks in No Man's Land, trying to make him less obvious. Sure, he can't die from gas, but he can be blown to bits by a whizz-bang fast as any living soldier can.

"Please," The vampire says, turning big green eyes up to Kirk. "I, I, I'm tired, please, can I sleep?"

He's got heavy dark circles under his eyes. It's kind of cute.

"No," Kirk answers, curt, shoving the vampire away by his head, watching him fall into the mud. His uniform is marked with it, now, a dab of dirt over the 'V' sewn next to his medic's cross. There's a satisfaction, in Kirk, just in seeing the little thing laid low.

He won't die in this war, and Kirk probably will, but before that happens he can at least hurt something he can see. You can't see old Fritz when you fire on him from a distance - but you can see a vampire flinch in the dirt. It's not much.

It's something.

"Must be daytime," Holden speaks up, still staring up at the clouds. "You can't tell, weather like this, but if the fangs're tryin' to sleep, must be day."

"He sleeps when we're done with him, and not a moment before." Kirk's voice is a murmur, eyes half-closed. He's drifting in it, the way the venom dulls and deadens the eternal ache in his back and legs. The Germans could come roaring over the bags right this second and Kirk wouldn't give a damn at all. Let them kill him, at least he can go with venom in his veins, not as a basket case carried off the field. "Not a second before. Go on, bloodsucker. Get over to Tommy and help him get some shut-eye, huh?"

"I've been drinking all night, pulled some rations off someone," Tommy groans, rubbing his fingers at his temples. "It's done no good at all." It's a funny little gesture, so oddly normal and casual. Reminds Kirk of home.

His throat tries to close, homesickness bowling him over. The wish to return to his mother's worn smile, sit down to dinner and have her ask him about his day, when his problems revolved around the harvest and the hard backs of the pews in church-

He takes a breath, forcing it back, and gives the vampire a vicious kick in the ribs, listening to his high-pitched cry and how he curls around himself with a smile of his own.

Oh, he'll die, probably. The others from his town already have. But he can remind himself he's still alive, for now. One way or another. He can cause pain he can't feel himself, for once.

"I said get over to Tommy and smooth out his sharp bits, bloodfuck."

"Yes, um, y-yes, Kirk," The vampire says, pulling himself onto his hands and knees. His fingers are smashed into the mud deep enough to nearly disappear. If they could only get a few days of sunlight to dry out all this dirt, it wouldn't be such hell.

As it is, his socks've been damp for weeks, his boots feel like they're caging his feet in a swamp. He's worried about trenchfoot and trying not to think about it. He stole these boots off a dead German when his own started to fall apart, anyway.

He could've probably gotten new ones, but... it had felt good, taking something from Fritz after Fritz took so much from him.

Kirk tries not to remember that the German soldiers he fights have never caused him a single moment's harm on purpose. They're only fighting for the same reasons he is - because someone higher up who doesn't give a damn about them said to.

Kirk had been all gung-ho for the war until he'd been sent over here to fight it. All those articles in the newspapers, all the speeches given by men standing in town squares... it had all made it seem so patriotic.

They never tell you, Kirk thinks bitterly, that you'll be sent into a slaughterhouse. They don't tell you you'll spend your day breaking a vampire's fingers one by one just to watch them heal back into place and listen to his little cries.

Just to pass the time.

"Trade me your flask while the fangs takes care of you," Kirk says, and Tommy hands it over easy enough.

He watches Tommy grab the vampire by one arm and yank him over, vicious and violent, making the vampire boy cry out again. The sound is starting to grate on Kirk's nerves. It makes him sound too human. He hates being reminded that every vampire used to be a person.

He drinks whatever's in the Brit's flask, and it burns down his throat just the way he needs it to. Wipes out his worries, relaxes shoulders that seem always to be tensed up nearly to his chin.

His mama's a teetotaler, back in Nebraska. He'd been one, too, until the first bombardment. Now he drinks anything he could get his hands on, and the officers mostly looked the other way.

"Bite," Tommy orders. Kirk raises his eyebrows when Tommy doesn't roll up his sleeve but pushes the vampire's face instead towards his neck, turning his head to the side to bare it.

His eyes meet Kirk's, and he smiles, bitterly. "Works faster this way," He explains. Kirk just watches as the vampire's fangs glint in the eternal dim twilight, hesitating before they bury themselves in Tommy's skin.

The little monster's back arches, pressing them chest-to-chest. A low rumble comes from somewhere deep inside, the animal sound the vampire makes during a good feed. He doesn't do it much with the regular unit any longer, they mocked him for it and one day he stopped.

The vampire's throat works as he drinks, and Tommy's arm slides around the monster's thin shoulders, forcing him closer. He's nearly kissing his forehead, this way.

It's an embrace, and altogether more intimate of one than Kirk thought he'd ever see from the cold, standoffish Brit. He feels a blush creeping up his neck and his cheeks as Tommy lets his head fall back, groaning softly in a kind of contentment as the venom hits. The sound isn't quite like a groan at all, it's more like-

"Fucking hell, Tommy, are you an invert?"

"Invert suggests I give a damn what bites me," Tommy replies, without opening his eyes. His slurred speech deepens, goes slow. His hand curves around the vampire's shoulder, holding him tightly. "I'm after oblivion, lads. I don't care what parts the fangs have that give it to me."

"Fang-chaser," Holden says, good-naturedly. Clearly not bothered the way Kirk is. Maybe that's just his farmboy past talking, that he's even unsettled at all. Maybe Tommy's got a point - who cares what's between a vampire's legs if you're only interested in the damn thing's mouth in the first place? "Fucking fang-chaser, that's what you are. End up in a den getting your hips bit like Oscar Wilde."

"Who's Oscar Wilde?"

Holden laughs. "You should try reading a book or three sometime, Kirk."

"Sure, sure, whenever I get the damn time in-between running over this blasted nothing. In any case, Tommy's definitely a fang-chaser."

"Guilty as charged... just like you two." Tommy's hand slides up into the vampire's hair, gripping tight and gently pulling backwards. The vampire's fangs slide free, and it laps at the wounds, rapidly. Tommy groans again. Kirk finds himself unable to look away at the bob of Tommy's throat. How good does it feel, in the neck? He's never thought to try it. He thinks about it now. "Turn me in to face discipline for unnatural relations with the fangs and I'll do the same to you."

"Yeah, yeah, we got it. Fucking Limey bastard." There's no real animosity in Kirk's voice. He's too distracted, drunkenly considering the vampire boy's mouth. Wondering if he knows how to kiss. "You shared your liquor, I shared our bloodsucker, we're both of us in it to our necks."

"Not me," Holden says, innocent and pure as the driven snow. As if he weren't the one to give Kirk the idea to use the venom in the first place.

Kirk throws a clot of mud at him, which he dodges, laughing. They're all laughing, soon enough, except for the fangs.

The vampire lays there, his head pressed to Tommy's chest and forcibly held in place by his arm. His eyes are slightly wide, unfocused, and Kirk leans forward.

"What's this, then? What'd you do to the fangs, Tommy?"

"Hm? Nothing. Oh, I'm pissed as can be, do they feel the liquor in your blood?"

"I'm guessing they sure do. You drunk, fangs?"

The vampire's eyes drift over to Kirk, move too far to one side, come back again. He swallows, thickly. "I... I think I, I, I am," He says, and tries to push back against Tommy's chest, to free himself.

The Brit's arm crushes him back into place, his other hand moving up to run through the vampire boy's dirt red hair, petting him like one of the ambulance dogs. Kirk and Holden laugh at the vampire's weakness. "Stay right where you are," Tommy murmurs. "Or I'll run you through with my bayonet and let you squirm all day."

"Christ," Kirk says, blinking. "That's a bit rough, isn't it?"

"He's not alive, what does it matter?" Tommy lets out a bitter little laugh. "Might as well get a preview of our own ends, shouldn't we?"

"You two, maybe." Holden crawls into the dugout, the little bed-space, a kind of cave dug in underneath the upper layers of the trench. He lays down on his back, closing his eyes, hands behind his head. "I'm going to go back home and never think of you lot ever again."

"I pray every night to make it home," Kirk says, nodding along. "Not sure anyone's listening, but I got to try, don't I?"

"What happens to the fangs, anyway?" The Brit looks up, rocking a little back and forth. As if the bloodsucker were a baby needing soothing. The vampire boy has relaxed against him, the liquor-laced blood he drank lulling him into a complacent bonelessness. Kirk watches the vampire boy's fingers start to tap over the Brit's chest, a strange movement he's seen the boy do before in his few relaxed moments between the scream of the shells. He hums, low in his throat, tuneless.

"Huh?" Kirk blinks. "What d'you mean, what happens to him?"

"After the war's done. What are they gonna do with the bloodsuckers? Can't exactly pin a bloody ribbon for valor on them and send them on their way, now can they?"

"Nope. I don't know what happens. Maybe they'll just stake them all and have done with them."

The vampire shudders, giving a little whimper. Tommy leans down, lips moving against the vampire's hair. "Ssssshhhh. Not to worry, little fangs. War's not over just yet, now is it?"

"N-... no. Not, not, not, not yet." The vampire's eyes close, pink-tinged tears creating pale tracks in his dirty face. He's a sad drunk, then, Kirk figures.

Aren't they all, these days.

"Maybe you'll outlive us all, and make fools of us for keeping you." Tommy speaks with a patronizing affection, as mocking as it is tender, petting through the creature's hair still. It's... unsettling to watch. Kirk had figured the Brits and French probably killed all their vamps, since they were all disturbed by the sight of the vampire medics when the doughboys first arrived in Europe.

This, though... this makes it seem like Tommy's known a vampire or two himself, in his life. And he's sure as fuck not unfamiliar to what venom is good for outside of giving relief from agony to the injured.

Kirk frowns, thoughtful.

He's turned into a thoughtful drunk, too, thanks to this goddamn war. Sad and thoughtful. What a fucking waste.

"Sleep," Tommy says, almost gently, to the drunk little vampire. "I've got you. Sleep, little one."

The vampire's eyes slip closed. He doesn't breathe - there's no sense of his chest rising and falling. Kirk has to look away before the sense of wrongness, watching Tommy cuddle a corpse, makes him sick.

He takes a long, long draught from the flask, and relishes the burn that reminds him he's human, and alive.

His own eyes slip shut, and he prays for an hour or two of sleep before the next screaming shell bursts overhead.

@mylifeisonthebookshelf @insaneinthepaingame @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @astrobly @newandfiguringitout @pretty-face-breaker @endless-whump @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @doveotions @boxboysandotherwhump @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @downriver914 @whumptywhumpdump @whumpiary @orchidscript @nonsensical-whump @outofangband @what-a-whump

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hotchseyebrows · 3 years

Text

it's a matter of seeing

a derek morgan x penelope garcia fic

a/n: hello again beloveds !!! today i present to you Another derek and penelope are kissing for the first time fic. what can i say, it's simply the best. thank you as always to the spectacular @blkantigone for being my supportive and helpful first reader and editor, love youuu! thank all of you for reading (im getting faster between uploads, have you noticed?)

title is from emily l. by marguerite duras. full line is "I don't know if love's a feeling. Sometimes I think it's a matter of seeing. Seeing you."

rating/warnings: gen audiences :) two vague allusions to sex but nothing even close to explicit, its more just in the way it exists in the background and derek is injured but it's superbly minor

read it here on ao3!

Derek steps closer to Penelope. “You had to see me. With your own eyes.”

Penelope rolls her eyes. “Yes, silly goose, that’s the usual way of seeing.”

Derek gets hurt on a case, and Penelope worries. He's fine, but she still worries.

word count: 2028

Derek glances at the time on his phone. Almost midnight, though it could be closer to 4 a.m. for how tired the team is tonight. A long case in Colorado kept them away from home for almost two weeks, and all Derek wants is to pet his dog and sleep in his own bed.

“Could this elevator ride be any slower?” Emily groans from where she’s leaning on the wall behind him.

“You know, Prentiss, I could have just gotten a late night taxi or grabbed one of the last trains.” Spencer is rocking back and forth on his heels next to her, a yawn growing on his lips.

“Nuh uh, kid, I’m getting you home whether you like it or not. I just wish you didn’t need that notebook from your desk tonight.”

“Sorry,” Spencer says, cringing slightly. Derek looks back to see Emily nudge his shoulder with a fond grin. Spencer’s shoulders relax.

“Why are you coming up, Hotch?” Derek asks the man in the opposite corner from Emily.

“Files.” Hotch stays facing the elevator door, only glancing at Derek.

“No way are you planning on staying here and working tonight– Hotch. We’ve been gone for two weeks–” (“Almost two weeks,” says Spencer. Derek waves him off.) “– you should be going home.”

“I’m just grabbing a few things. I’ll get back on this elevator with you.” Hotch glances at the time on his own phone then, unlocking it to open a text message from Jess. Derek sees a picture of smiling Jack for a split second before he looks away. “Jess is already expecting me.”

Derek hums in acknowledgement. He rolls his shoulder as the doors open and they walk towards the bullpen together.

“Shoulder still hurting, Morgan?” Emily asks. The day before they came home, one of the unsubs got the jump on Derek, tackling him to the ground. Emily easily subdued him, but Derek landed funny on a wayward pipe. His shoulder has been bothering him ever since. He nods in response.

“I’ll be fine.” Emily scoffs at him, but says nothing. He will. Eventually.

Spencer holds open the door for Derek. “Here, Morgan. So you don’t aggravate your injury.”

“Hilarious. Ha ha. When’s the stand-up tour? Have you been moonlighting at comedy clubs, pretty boy?”

Spencer sticks his tongue out at him. He quickly pulls it back in his mouth when he catches Hotch looking at him. To their surprise, Hotch cracks a small smile. “Reid has a point, Morgan.” Emily lets out a laugh that is more a cackle than anything.

“Evil. You’re all evil.” He walks through the held open door anyway.

Most of the desk lamps are off, the bullpen empty this late. But his chair is spinning slightly and his light is on. A mop of blonde hair, today a mess of curls with a large sparkly flower pinned at the top, bounces as the chair spins.

“Baby girl, what are you doing here?” Penelope spins to face him, a brilliant smile flashing onto her face immediately. “It’s late. You could have gone home hours ago.”

“Where’s JJ and Rossi?”

“Already in their cars on the way home. We all needed something from up here first.” She’s standing now, and he steps in front of her. “Don’t avoid my question, Mama,” he says, lightly tapping the tip of her nose.

Her smile falters, worry breaking through. “You got hurt.” Her eyebrows crease as she looks him over.

Derek raises both eyebrows. “Yea, but I’m okay. A little injury.”

The crease does not go away. “You got hurt. I don’t like when you get hurt.” He uses his non injured arm to pull her in for a hug. She wraps him in her arms immediately, her face pressing against his chest. The usual private shiver dances down his spine at the feeling. He rubs a small circle on the middle on her back as the tension bleeds out of her.

“See, baby girl? I’m fine.” Penelope picks up her head and looks at him. “Heart’s still beating. Blood’s still pumping. It’s just a little booboo.” She laughs at his word choice. “I’m okay. Promise.”

“You’re gonna rest at home? Ice it, or heating pad it up, or whatever you need?” He nods. “And you’ll call me if you need my help?”

“I promise.” She pops on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “You’re cute when you’re worried.”

Penelope tilts her head back and laughs. “I’m always cute, Derek Morgan. Don’t you forget it.” She never looks more beautiful than when she laughs.

“I won’t,” he says, moving his arm to her waist and walking them both to his desk. Spencer is closing his bag at his desk while Emily leans back in his chair, eyes closed.

“Okay, I’m ready,” says Spencer, nudging the chair with his foot. Emily blinks her eyes open, sitting up. “And I can drive, Emily, you’re more tired than I am.” She opens her mouth to argue, but a yawn comes out instead. She hands Spencer the keys without a word.

“Why are you here, Garcia?” Emily asks.

“Had to see my sweet love in person as soon as you got home.” Derek’s heart flips in his chest. “I worry,” she says simply. Emily nods, giving Derek a long look.

Hotch appears at the top of the stairs next to his office. “I’m leaving.” The unsaid addition of that means you are too rings out from the eyebrow heavy look he gives them all.

Derek grabs the file he needs and a novel his sister sent him from his desk drawer quickly. “Come on baby girl, I’ll walk you out.”

“My very own Prince Charming,” she says as she loops her arm through his.

Spencer starts telling Emily about a Russian film festival coming up in a few weeks as they lead the way to the door. Hotch is close behind, silent but listening. Penelope pulls on Derek a little and they follow.

She puts her head on his shoulder. On reflex, he kisses the top of her head. Not for the first time, he thinks about how easy it is for her to slot into place in his life. She just fits, no matter where he is or what he’s doing. There she is, a voice on the phone or the person spinning in his desk chair in the middle of the night solely because she needs to see him in person.

He falters as they walk through the glass doors. Penelope only makes it a few steps before she’s looking back at where he’s frozen, mind whirring. Emily is pressing the button to the elevator ahead of them. “Der?” Penelope asks.

“Why are you here?”

She tilts her head. “I told you. I worry.”

“You could have called Penelope. You did call, we talked on the plane.”

Now she blushes. She never blushes. “I had– I had to see for myself. I didn’t want to wait until Monday.”

A realization washes over Derek. “You had to see,” he repeats, a smile growing on his face.

She sways a little on her feet. “Yes, I said that.” The trio at the elevator notices them lingering by the doors, but Hotch stops Spencer from calling out with a knuckle brush to the forearm.

Derek steps closer to Penelope. “You had to see me. With your own eyes.”

Penelope rolls her eyes. “Yes, silly goose, that’s the usual way of seeing.” Derek takes another step, now only an arm’s length away.

“It’s midnight on a Saturday. And you waited for me here, alone.”

She nods.

“Even though we talked today and you know that I’m okay, that I’ve had worse injuries.”

She nods again.

“Penelope,” he says, voice barely a whisper. He steps impossibly closer. “Why are you here?”

A look of fear settles on Penelope’s face. “Derek–”

“No, it’s alright!” He grabs her hand. “I just need you to say it.”

She softens, something like hope lighting up her eyes. “If you need me to say it, then you already know.”

He releases a loud laugh– the kind of joyous sound that comes unbidden from the bottom of the stomach. Leaning forward, he rests their foreheads together, watching her reaction. When she smiles, he knows for sure. “Yea I do,” he says.

She leans in across the tiny distance between them and presses their lips together. Derek forgets about the lingering ache in his shoulder in favor of this new feeling. He swings an arm around her waist and straightens up, pulling her flush against him. She wraps her arms around his neck, a soft sound humming against his lips. He’s about to slip his tongue into her mouth and carry her off to an empty office when someone clears their throat from across the room.

Penelope pulls back first, automatically hiding her face in Derek’s neck. Emily is hiding a smile behind her hand. Hotch’s eyebrows are raised slightly, the ghost of a smile around his eyes. Spencer makes no attempt to hide his glee, fingers tapping together happily. Derek grins at them. “Can I help you three?”

“Just thought you’d want to carry on somewhere else. And the elevator is here.” Sure enough, Emily has a foot in the elevator door. She shows him her full grin this time. “Not that we weren’t having fun watching the show.”

He scoffs. “Next time, we’re charging a ticket price.” Penelope giggles.

“Next time?” she whispers.

He nods. “If you want.”

“Yes! Yes. I want. Very much so.” He smiles, a full eye crinkle 1000 watt smile, and interlocks their fingers to lead her to the elevator. She slots in right at his side, putting her head back on his shoulder.

They stay that way the whole way down and keep their hands together as they walk to the parking lot. Emily makes kissy faces as she and Spencer get into her car. Spencer waves happily. Hotch gives them a soft smile before he disappears around a corner.

Derek pulls her in for another kiss right next to Esther. Just because he can. “Follow me home?” he mutters against her lips. “We don’t have to… tonight. Next time. But I’ll make breakfast.”

She traces a spiral on his upper arm. “Okay. It’s a date.” He kisses the tip of her nose just to hear her giggle.

She gives him one more kiss before gently shoving him in the direction of his car. “The faster you get to your car, the faster we get home.” He blows her a kiss before jogging to where he parked two weeks ago. She catches it and puts it right over her heart.

The streets are almost empty as they drive, and Derek keeps pulling up next to her at stoplights to ask if she comes here often or if she wants to race. By the time they arrive at Derek’s apartment building, it’s almost one a.m. and they are both dead on their feet. Still, they stop to kiss in front of his elevator. They kiss again just inside of his front door and again when he hands her an old shirt to wear to bed. He has the urge to pinch his arm, just to double check that he’s not still asleep on the plane. But no, there she is, brushing her teeth in his bathroom with a spare toothbrush. He's never felt this kind of peace with someone else in his space. She has toothpaste on the corner of her mouth and her eyes are bloodshot from exhaustion. I love you, he thinks.

“What?” she asks. “You’re staring.”

Derek hums, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Do you blame me?" He grabs a tissue and blots away the toothpaste. It's a slight deflection, but it's not the moment for what he's really thinking. She scrunches her nose and smiles.

"No. You have good taste."

"Damn right I do, baby girl. The best taste."

They don’t kiss much when they lay in Derek’s bed, too tired to do much more than cuddle up together and turn off the lights. But Derek doesn’t mind. He’s already thinking about breakfast.

#morcia #derek morgan #penelope garcia #cm #cj.txt #denelope #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #cjs fic #emily prentiss #spencer reid #aaron hotchner

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peachysnzs · 3 years

Text

self-indulgent homest/uck snzfic

omg i literally entirely forgot i wrote a snzfic already a bit ago... its so self indulgent and messy writing wise and also homest/uck but uploading just in case

okok short debrief for context, karkat is a troll, dave is a human that can fly long story, matesprit is romantic partner, and trickster mode is a mode where ppl get drunk/high off a specific lolipop and have little to no restraint of themselves + gives them bright colors

// mess, intentional contagion

“h-hehh…eH’tchIUh!!!”

Karkat paused from reading his book. That... was a sound that sounded suspiciously like Dave sneezing. Hesistantly, he pushed himself up, walking out of his room and peering into Dave’s room. After all, he had no idea if the pitiful human was sick or not. What kind of matesprit would he be if he didn’t even check?

Dave’s room was empty. Which was odd. Karkat could’ve sworn he said he was going to be in there for the day, though he didn’t explain why, where the fuck did he head off to? It’s not like their joint house was big or anything. Where the hell was that nookwhi-

Something that sounded… almost like giggling rang through the air.

What the fuck.

It sounded like it came from behind Karkat, and he quickly whirled around, but not fast enough. He saw something that almost looked like a flash, a flash of bright colors and cheery pastels, before it vanished in the blink of the ganderbulbs. Like said before, what the fuck.

A sniffle. Alright, thats too much.

Karkat whirled around, shouting “Dave, what the FUCK is going on??”, not really caring for his dignity much in the moment. It had to be Dave. This was a prank or some bullshit. And then slowly, following the noise, his eyes trailed up. Up….up…up….

Dave Strider was currently floating in the air, dreamily staring down at him and just barely grazing the surface of the ceiling, adorned with mint-green hair, a pastel pink-and-yellow god tier outfit, and red, thick gunk dripping steadily out of his flushed nose as he grinned at him. Holy fucking shit, who the fuck was this and what had they done to Dave?

A vague memory registered in the back of Karkat’s mind, of Dirk mentioning how some candy made everyone insane and go Trickster mode as their outfits and demeanor became more…colorful. How the fuck did Dave go Trickster mode??? How the fuck does that work???

“hey karkles hows it hangin? cmon dudeee lighten up a lil, your expression is s-so… hiH’TCHUh! so shocked right now” Dave drawled. As he sneezed, he lazily spread his hand over his nose, catching half of the snot in it and letting the rest of the bright red concocture mist the floor beneath him, which included Karkat. Karkat could feel the wet moisture on his skin, and he shuddered, stepping back.

“Dave, what the fuck??? Gog, fucking cover your mouth, are you contagious?? Get down, now.” Karkat spat out, exasperated at how nonchalant the imposter was. Dave simply laughed at him. “me? contagious? nah im fineeee”

Dave sniffled again, the sound much more wet than previously, and rubbed his fist against his nose, smearing the red gunk all over his hand. He smirked as he slowly withdrew his hand, spreading his fingers experimentally and watching the red mucus web between his slender fingers, glistening. “totally not contagious at all” he fibbed.

Karkat could only watch in horror as Dave slowly flew down, feet clicking against the tiled floor. “hey karkitty i do-hihh…n’t k-know about you…” His expression screwed up for a second, as he fought to calm his hitching breaths. After a moment, Dave’s grin returned to his face, and with a face smeared with germ-laden gunk, he purred. “but i feel like making out right now.”

Karkat found his voice again, and he stumbled back a few more steps. “Holy shit, no- are you even *hearing* yourself, Dave??? You’re sick, you can’t-you can’t just pretend you’re not, what the fuck??? Dave, I-“

Dave leaned forward and nipped at Karkat’s neck and he whimpered.

He could feel it. The wet mess dripping onto his neck, as Dave gave a shallow sniff and as his breath hitched even more, the vibrations against his skin, Dave’s saliva intermingling with the rest of the shit getting onto his neck as he sucked gently and gave him a hickey. The sensation was so taboo and revolting it was almost…

Dave leaned back, expression contorted. His narrow eyes seemed to almost stare through Karkat, and he paused, before, oh, fuck, it sunk in. “g-ghh- gonna…sn-heHh..eeze!-“ he forced out, and even as he was about to fucking sneeze, he still managed a wavering smirk as he tried to stare down at Karkat. It didn’t even look like he was trying to pull away, if anything, he had leaned forward, leaving only a few inches between them as he used his finger to gently guide Karkat’s chin up.

Speaking of which, Karkat felt himself frozen in place, too shocked by how quickly everything had just happened to dodge the incoming flood. “heh-HE’tchIU! hihh..hih..h’tsHIU!!” The lazy covering that Dave had done before wasn’t even present. Dave sneezed freely and openly on Karkat, and Karkat instinctively shut his eyes, feeling the contagious mist against his skin. Dave wasn’t done yet, though.

Karkat could only open his eyes for a second, seeing a strand of snot dangling from Dave’s nose as he leaned his head back, right before Dave went back to sneezing. “EH’tchu! Hi’hishuu!! Ehtchuu! hih..ih-HISSHU!!” Sneeze after sneeze, rapidfire. Fuck, it was disgusting, but Karkat’s face felt soaked, totally fucking decimated after Dave’s sneezing fit that he didn’t even bother covering. Was this his plan? What the fuck??? Realizing that he hasn’t breathed at all during all that, Karkat let in a shaky breath, and then immediately regretted it as it set in that he probably just breathed in more of the shit.

Shuddering, he quickly wiped off his face, cringing as he saw the red fluid coating his sleeve. Holy shit, how much even was that? “D-Dave, what the fuck-“ Karkat started, but Dave cut him off with a smile. “dont worry im not contagious karkitty. now about the makeouts…” Dave reached up to cup his cheek and run his thumb against Karkat’s lip, and Karkat went pale as he remembered the web of wet gunk between his fingers. Oh goddamnit, he had just wiped his face.

Deep down, he knew wiping his face did nothing.

“We know that’s fucking bullshit. Are you trying to get me sick?!? I-I’m not going to make-out with you, not when- ah-“ Karkat started, and then Dave shut him up by licking a stripe up the hickey he had given him earlier.

Dave let his red eyes fall upon Karkat’s. His red nose dripping, glistening, eyes narrowed, mouth curled up like a cheshire cat, he leaned forward and whispered in Karkat’s ear, the congestion in his voice evident “karkat. lets entertain the thought i am contagious, ok?” Karkat shivered, but this time in an entirely different context.

“its too late for you. from the first sneeze, from the moment i got this cold, you were doomed. even if you tried to leave” He giggled, deliriously. “i already sneezed into your pillows, to let these theoretical germs have home there too. sharing is caring, right? and you’re going to get this cold…hih…” Karkat stared, dumbfounded. Dave leaned back from his ear, and placed a finger gently on Karkat’s nose, tracing the edges. “i-in here.”

a pause, and then a grin.

“so-hiHh- s-so why try to…t-to avoid…ihh…hiH’TSHIUU!! eh’tsHIU!!” Dave’s head snapped forward. His sneezes were getting more wet, and mucus sprayed onto his face, leaving wet stains on his sweatshirt. Karkat couldn’t even process what was going on any more. And then, Dave gently leaned forward, stopping just before his lips. “just enjoy it.” The taboo of it all… the seductive gleam in Dave’s eyes…Dave’s erection pressing against his leg… the most obvious fact that Dave was into this (and that they probably had to had a talk later, jesus, openess about kinks was important)…God, it was too much.

Karkat’s may or may not have leaned forward to meet his lips.

And well, if Karkat let Dave shove his tongue into his mouth, if he let Dave sniffle and sneeze onto him, damning him and most definitely ensuring he’d be just as snotty and disgusting as him later, if he did, well, nobody had to know.

#snzfic #snez #snz #sneeze kink #sickstuck #sneezestuck #peachywrites #god ok rereading this was a trip lemme tell u #mess #contagion

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lavellander · 3 years

Text

hello im feeling extra “touch the stove”-y today so. i was looking for any dialogue where solas just straight up lies and (of what i could find online/transcribed, obv) i didnt find anything that was 100% untrue. he’ll completely avoid the question, change the subject, give part of the truth, etc etc etc, but nothing was just Entirely A Lie

what really gets me is that there’s a handful of convos where someone infers something from what solas says, and he will even point out that he didn’t directly say that. like, he tells people how to see through his shit, lmao

here is an embarrassingly long ass list of examples, all sorted by what kind of not-lying he’s doing lol, just bc i am unhinged<3

*note that some of these are cut from longer bits of dialogue or have been split up from one conversation into different categories*

literally just Not Answering The Question lol

Dorian: How much “will” do they have? They’re amorphous constructs of the Fade. Solas: Hmm.

Dorian: Solas, have I offended you? Solas: If you have, why would it concern you?

Dorian: Solas, what is this whole look of yours about? Solas: I’m sorry? Dorian: No, that outfit is sorry. What are you supposed to be, some kind of woodsman? Dorian: Is it a Dalish thing? Don’t you dislike the Dalish? Or is it some kind of statement? Solas: No.

Dorian: Let me get this straight, Solas. Dorian: You’re an apostate – neither Dalish nor city elf – who lived alone in the woods studying spirits. Solas: Is that a problem for you?

Solas: [has a whole tactical moment about the red jennies lmao] Sera: Where d’you get all this, then? Solas: Do you wish to be unnerved by another tale of my explorations of the Fade? Or do you wish to learn something?

Vivienne: You must be pleased with what was revealed at the Temple of Mythal, Solas. Solas: Why should those ruins please me, Enchanter?

changing the subject before he backs himself into a corner

Gatt: I don’t see any tattoos, but you’re carrying a staff. Are you from a Chantry Circle? Solas: No. And I would prefer not to discuss it.

Solas: I find the fall of the dwarven lands confusing. Varric: What’s so confusing about endless darkspawn? Solas: A great deal, although that is a different matter.

giving the truth, but not the whole truth

Blackwall: Skyhold. How did you find it? Solas: I looked. Blackwall: Now you sound like Cole. You looked? Solas: This world is full of wonders for those who seek them.

Blackwall: You spoke of seeing death and destruction. Did you fight in a war? Solas: There are struggles across Thedas at any given time. I doubt you would have heard of it. Blackwall: An elven skirmish? Solas: In a manner of speaking, yes.

Cassandra: Solas, have you always lived alone? Out in the wilderness, as an apostate? Solas: For the most part.

Cassandra: Have you ever encountered templars before? Solas: Only at a distance. I am an apostate, after all. Cassandra: And they never caught you even once? Solas: I am a very careful apostate.

Dorian: We found elves, living ancient elves, at the Temple of Mythal. Does that bother you, Solas? If Inquisitor allied with the Sentinels: Solas: I am pleased we were not forced to kill them, if that’s what you mean.

Iron Bull: You’ve got an odd style, Solas. Your spells are a bit different from the Circle mages or the Vints. Solas: That comes from being self-taught. Solas: I discovered most of my magic on my own, or learned it from my journeys in the Fade.

Vivienne: So, an apostate? Solas: That is correct, Enchanter. I did not train in your Circle.

Solas: You are a man who made a choice... possibly the first of your life. Iron Bull: I’ve always liked fighting. What if I turn savage, like the other Tal-Vashoth? Solas: You have the Inquisition, you have the Inquisitor... and you have me.

from cutscene at beginning Inquisitor: [mentions the anchor closing a rift] Solas: Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach's wake – and it seems I was correct.

from cutscene at beginning Solas: [to a Dalish Inq] You are Dalish, but clearly away from the rest of your clan. Did they send you here? Inquisitor: What do you know of the Dalish? Solas: I have wandered many roads in my time, and crossed paths with your people on more than one occasion. Inquisitor: [Crossed paths? dialogue choice] Solas: I mean that I offered to share knowledge, only to be attacked for no greater reason than their superstition.

from “I’d like to know more about you” convo in Haven Inquisitor: What made you start studying the Fade? Solas: I grew up in a village to the north. There was little to interest a young man, especially one gifted with magic. But as I slept, spirits of the Fade showed me glimpses of wonders I had never imagined. I treasured my dreams. Being awake, out of the Fade, became troublesome.

actually telling the truth but no one picks up on the gravity of it

Solas: [...] I believe the elven gods existed, as did the old gods of Tevinter. But I do not think any of them were gods, unless you expand the definition of the word to the point of absurdity. I appreciate the idea of your Maker, a god that does not need to prove his power. I wish more such gods felt the same. Cassandra: You have seen much sadness in your journeys, Solas. Following the Maker might offer some hope. Solas: I have people, Seeker. The greatest triumphs and tragedies this world has known can all be traced to people.

Cole: No, inside. I don’t hear your hurt as much. Your song is softer, subtler, not silent but still. Solas: How small the pain of one man seems when weighted against the endless depths of memory, of feeling, of existence. That ocean carries everyone. And those of us who learn to see its currents move through life with their fewer ripples.

Cole: You didn’t do it to be right. You did it to save them. Inquisitor: Solas, what is Cole talking about? Solas: A mistake. One of many made by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything.

Solas: Empires rise and fall. Arlathan was no more “innocent” than your own Tevinter in its time. Solas: Your nostalgia for the ancient elves, however romanticized, is pointless.

Solas: Our people used to be here. Sera: Pfft, you say that everywhere. Solas: It is more true than you want to believe.

Vivienne: You must be pleased, apostate. With the Templars dissolved, your rebels will be most difficult to pacify. Solas: My rebels? Am I an agent for their cause, whispering poison into the Inquisition’s ears? Solas: How comforting. Vivienne: You enjoy seeing yourself as a villain? Solas: No more than any other clever man who wonders what he could do if pushed.

Vivienne: [about the Temple of Mythal] Now you know the elves were once a mighty nation. Solas: I always knew, Enchanter. The Temple of Mythal is just another reminder of what was lost.

(in the Emerald Graves): These forests have changed much since I was last here.

during the Fade!Haven cutscene Solas: It seems you hold the key to our salvation. You had sealed it with a gesture... and right then, I felt the whole world change. Inquisitor: [romance option] “Felt the whole world change?” Solas: A figure of speech. Inquisitor: I’m aware of the metaphor. I’m more interested in felt. Solas: You change... everything.

pointing out that people assume he means things he did not directly say

Cole: There is pain though, still within you. Solas: And I never said there was not.

Solas: You may well become fully human, after all. I never thought to see it. Cole: When did you see it before? Solas: I did not say that I had.

Iron Bull: We’ve got the alliance with my people. Given how much you love the Qun, I figured... Solas: I might scold you? Berate you for your decisions? Iron Bull: Hey. The Chargers died as heroes for the good of the mission. Solas: I never said otherwise.

Sera: Don’t you start. Solas: I’m reasonably certain I said nothing.

Vivienne: [talking shit about grey warden mages] Solas: I never claimed mages should be above the law, Enchanter. Vivienne: No, darling. You merely implied it, while offering no viable suggestions for improvement.

after infamous “side benefits” dialogue Warrior Inquisitor: You find my muscles enjoyable? Solas: I meant that you enjoyed having them, presumably. Warrior Inquisitor: Ah. Solas: But yes... since you asked.

diminishing things he does actually know by saying he he “believes” or “thinks,” or that things were vaguely “said” or “told”

Solas: I say what I believe to be true, even if it gives offense to those who prefer the lie.

Dorian: That orb Corypheus carries... are you certain it’s of elven origin, Solas? Solas: I believe so. Why do you ask?

Solas: It is said that we lived at a pace that sustained us for... ages.

making it sound like he’s talking about something/someone else, but it’s just him lmao

Cole: Do you know a lot about wolves? Solas: I know that they are intelligent, practical creatures that small-minded fools think of as terrible beasts.

Solas: No man can kill so many people without breaking inside. To survive... those you fight must become monsters. Iron Bull: The ones that kill innocent people, yeah. The rest... I don’t know. Solas: The mind does marvelous things to protect itself.

during In Hushed Whispers Inquisitor: I’m glad you understood what he just said because I’m not sure I did. Solas: You would think such understanding would stop me from making such terrible mistakes. You would be wrong.

misc

this one i wanted to include because it’s the only circumstance (that i came across) where someone directly asks solas to lie and he literally says he can’t

during the fucking crestwood breakup scene Inquisitor: [angry option] Tell me you don’t care. Solas: I can’t do that. Inquisitor: Tell me I was some casual dalliance so I can call you a cold-hearted son of a bitch and move on! Solas: I’m sorry.

*also note that most of these are banter transcriptions from the wiki; some are cutscene / other dialogue posted by either @/daitranscripts or u/karinini on reddit; it’s not all his cutscenes obv, but I’m not about to look up every single one individually sdlkfj*

#i am................incredibly embarrassed that i did this #forgive me. the brain worms would not leave until it was Done #also sorry that its ugly no matter what i did tungle was NOT happy w my formatting. just know its clean and easy to read in my mind :/#and i know none of this is new information but i am riddled with terminal grad student brain disease so i like having my evidence organized #long post #(bc its long as hell if u open the read more)#im going to put this in my #ref #tag. bc i sometimes get tripped up writing his dialogue to be cryptic but true

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anime-pro-shitposter · 3 years

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wonder egg ended and I’m disappointed <3

shit where do I even begin okey:

I’m not gonna bother taking screenshots i’m too mad and i want to rant. *i ended up too frustrated and took screenshots*

functionalities:

a.. goddamn.. recap.. AGAIN.. they literally have a recap in the original run what is this mess of a studio and not even 10 mins they did a whole 25 mins recap.. my blood is boiling.. next and well most importantly the art is really bad and i get oh we shouldnt be so pissed at artists for the time frame but my god they had 3 months and the ep was literally 20 mins (cuz of the 25 mins RECAP) so what excuse? the backgrounds are mostly stupid no art just colors, and if u look more critically they have too many scenes from the back or far away.. there are bits with a weird place where neiru and ai stand? frill was literally added there for no reason? and even when they viewed neirus dream it was literally just a voice over 😭😭 we didnt EVEN GET TO SEE HER SISTER😭😭 im ah…… when ai threw the phone it was Literally Black Outside my god thats shit and the movement was shit. the last last like 5 mins were fine but honestly in comparison to what i know they can do (ep11 with frill) its just underwhelming to say the least. idk just watch it and tell me this isnt stupid and disrespectful. sheesh.

seriously seriously look wtf is this?????

WHAT IS THAT??? so bland and feels so not in touch with what the series is so far art wise.. eh

Storywise:

I dont mind the way neiru is an AI and I mean she alluded to this since long, however I guess there was a real neiru at one point??? how does she have a sister and the fact that we got ZERO explanation about that? also she isnt the type to just get up and leave did she trade herself/her life? wtf happened idk im way too confused.. like did frill take her? and we still didn’t get ANYTHING about how frill can even manipulate any of this no explanation about dot and hyphen nothing it literally answered nothing just made us weirded out by the friends suddenly deciding they arent that much of friends afterall!!

but what actually pisses me off is ai refusing the call.. You Want Me To Believe that????? IT MAKES NO SENSE completely out of character. ah yes the girl who she has been calling foe about a million times she Refuses her Call because?? she’s an AI? since when is ai that shallow? and rika’s reaction too? like that’s it? and she never even went back to neirus house? wtf its a complete and utter mess. ai just got her whole character arc demolished right in front of us. the stupidness of the ending that she transferred schools? for what? how did the friend with blonde hair travel through parallel worlds? neiru got her sister back but not her? they literally dropped story points from before…

we never got to see how rika and momoe got over their intense fears? they just did? had to? IDK ITS Shit and im beyond mad they did them dirty.. they were barely even mentioned and sidelined completely to fit this weird conflict about neiru that no one asked for.. literally the last of rika we see is her crying saying she’ll die of pain FROM THE BACK..

we dont see how they deal with their friends that they sacrificed so much for no longer knowing them.. we barely see any pain at all about that even and it gets also pushed to the side. even if lets say neirus story is worth exploring just explore it dont vaguely mention it and give no explanation and NO EVEN VISUALS for it but the shitty empty abstract place like wtf.. idk im sad yall

lastly they brushed the mf teacher to the SIDE like literally acting like he was nothing.. the whole story point of him was weird and unfitting honestly but i was fine with it because well they are kids and he is a bit weird but the dude didn’t exactly Do Something.. but alsooososososso the reveal of the Big Big Question right? the one of why did koito kill herself? and we get this stupid 2 seconds lines from the teacher saying she slipped and fell.. she.. slipped.. and fell.. and that she was threatening him which okey okey but.. she slipped.. let that sink in

final thoughts:

I feel robbed seriously.. wonder egg meant so much to me and I could see the potential it had so many right elements and seriously could’ve been great. exploring girlhood, pain, sewerside, relationships, friendships, love, unrequited love, gender issues, and much much much more. making such lovable characters then smashing them on the ground. idk what went on inside the damn studio im going to look now but i am gonna learn japanese just to send them a bullying letter for this. i appreciate all those that worked truly but i still think this is not the best that they can do im sure of it.

Thank you for reading I would rant more but this has gotten too long :D byee

#wonder egg priority #wonder egg priority special #wep special #wonder egg spoilers #ai ohto #rika kawai #wep neiru #wep momoe #wepR

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heartofnowhere · 3 years

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omg i finished Project Hail Mary and it was literally SO good and FUN!!! the funnest book i’ve read in SO long! rambly spoilers under the cut i need to get some things off my chest lol

im really glad i didnt look anything up about it before starting because it was just fucking WILD going into that not knowing there was gonna be aliens, let alone like an 80s buddy comedy vibe! WHAT! i remember when i finished the martian i was like damn i love the realism here but it would have been so fucking wild and cool if halfway through he like discovered alien life. and i remember thinking i wish that watney had given us more emotion... tbh i feel like andy weir heard me personally because project hail mary had all that in buckets. i did cry lol

I can just see how the scene where he remembers about how he “volunteered” for the mission is going to be such oscar bait in the film honestly. speaking of the film i did find out halfway through my read that they had cast ryan gosling to play grace and i was like! INTERESTING. i had been trying on leading men in my mind as i read.... some memorable ones were chris pine (too captain kirk).... ryan reynolds (TOO snarky)... bill hader (?? just cant see him in space ???) and had ultimately settled on charlie day.... rogue i know. but he worked for me. ryan gosling is a great actor so i think he will be good. i’m very excited to just see how they do this film. the settings are very vivid in my mind. i’m anticipating some very impressive inception esque spinning room zero g effects and hopefully a creature design that feels real and solid and vaguely 80s??? like ET texture lol. i wonder who they will cast as stratt because i feel like she will really make or break the flashback scenes. OMG and the sound design, i wonder how theyll do all the communication!!!!! excite excite excite!!

i really loved the structure and the way the memories were revealed to us. at first i did feel like it was a bit gimmicky like oh of COURSE the coma made him forget everything so the reader can discover alongside him. OF course. ;) but it didnt bother me at all because ultimately it was lending itself to a really interesting way of unravelling of the story... in an almost over the top camp way???? but then the twist where stratt had done that on PURPOSE really turned that on its head for me. i loved that so much. it was genuinely harrowing????? like so scary what the FUCK??? it really just shook everything for me. that was when i was like “oh, this is. really genuinely something”. and then grace gets to prove himself as brave dskjfhjdksfhs im crying again just thinking about it

i have read some stuff from andy weir on goodreads that in the martian he was very intentionally not telling anything about watney that wasnt immediately relevant to the story because... like. not relevant to the story. so i was expecting that a little with project hail mary too, i wasn’t asking questions about his life before the start of the story. but then when stratt just lays into him about how he’s a coward and has no relationship because he’s scared i was like. oh so this man is gay. that is my reading of it. it makes sense to me. id like to spend some time with andy weir interviews and try and Get him some more but the impression i got was that the book and grace in general was written in a kind, thoughtful way that doesn’t confirm or deny for a reason, so that the reader can make their own mind up. my mind was made up when he gave rocky male pronouns and then a male name for his mate.... gay rights :’)

anyway yeah that went on longer than i thought but im literally desperate to talk about this book so HAVE MY RAMBLINGS. incidentally has anyone here read artemis. why does everyone hate it... im going on holiday in like 2 days and was thinking about getting the ebook to read but some people are actually SCATHING about it LOL whats that about

#project hail mary #andy weir #the martian #what tags do people even use to talk about books these days im only ever tarttposting im out of the LOOP #btw if youre thinking of starting a fight with me over reading Ryland Grace as gay please do not bother #as i simply do not care #he is a gay man. my mind is made up lol

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foxghost · 3 years

Text

Joyful Reunion, Chapter 72

Translator: foxghost @foxghost tumblr/ko-fi1 Beta: meet-me-in-oblivion @meet-me-in-oblivion tumblr Original by 非天夜翔 Fei Tian Ye Xiang Masterpost | Characters, Maps & Other Reference Index

Book 2, Chapter 16 (Part 6)

“Quick, get back to the house!” Duan Ling wraps his arms around the man in black’s neck, but the man puts him down instead, and grabbing his hand, takes him past another wall.

Next, they’re attacked again out of nowhere as two daggers come at them from the side. The man in black responds to it just as swiftly; the attacker slices his daggers at the man in black’s wrist, but instead of letting go of Duan Ling, the man in black thrusts his sword back behind him, right for the attacker’s throat!

Seeing yet another man dressed in rogue’s blacks, Duan Ling is immediately dumbstruck.

With a light clink, the dagger hits the man in black’s wrist, the weapon glancing off something metallic. At the same time, the attacker dodges, moving his neck out of the path of the sword.

Duan Ling’s already confused. Who on earth is this now?!

The man in black quickly grabs Duan Ling and lands in the courtyard. While Duan Ling is looking this way and that, the man’s grip loosens and lets go of him. As soon as he does, the other man in black who’s just arrived grabs Duan Ling’s arm and pulls him behind himself.

The first man in black doesn’t seem in any hurry to leave, however; he simply takes a half step back, his sword thrusting forward once more. He’s actually going to fight the dagger-wielder for Duan Ling!

Duan Ling is simply dumbfounded.

The man in black second to arrive pushes Duan Ling away from the fighting, and with a wave of his hand, darts fly off in every direction, the projectiles stopping the other man in black’s advance.

Duan Ling runs out of the way and looks on while the two exchange blows. He can’t tell which one is which; one is slightly taller — is that one Wu Du? With a start he recalls that when Wu Du left the house, he didn’t take his sword with him! Yet as soon as that thought crosses his mind, the sword-wielding man in black and the daggers-wielding man in black’s weapons tangle together as they deflect each others’ attacks, sword and daggers flying out of their hands, the daggers bury themselves into a pillar while the long sword falls into the bushes. The two men abandon their weapons and get into close range to begin fighting hand-to-hand.

Damn it! Now that the two of them are locked in hand-to-hand combat, and it’s so dark at night too, he really can’t tell who’s who now!

Then there’s a flash of metal as one of the men in black leaps into the air and grabs the daggers, while the other man in black rolls along the ground to pick up the long sword.

The dagger in the left hand of one man brings up ripples in the pond, his qi sending droplets of water into the air, then his right hand brings up another dagger to cross the one in his left.

Duan Ling has learned this move before, and cannot help himself but cheer at its ingenuity! Li Jianhong was the one who taught him that move; it’s called “arc light”! It can be used with either one’s palms or a sword! He never could have imagined that it can also be used with twin daggers.

The dagger-wielding assassin has to be Wu Du!

Wu Du makes a cross with his daggers, channelling his qi behind it through both hands to make a wall of force that only the Zhenshanhe can withstand. Just as he expects, the two daggers curl into an arc in the air, the light arc flickering with moonlight.

The other man in black immediately leaps up higher in the air, and with a side flip, his slender figure spins with his sword as he meets the arc head-on!

The arc light lands, lifting the sword’s qi; with the inertia he’s thrown behind that sideways flip, the sword-wielding assassin neutralises the energy behind the twin daggers in four clangs of metal on metal. The daggers-wielding assassin gives off a great shout, and Duan Ling is finally certain! It’s Wu Du!

The forward momentum of the arc light hasn’t completely dissipated. It draws a line of air over the man in black, sending his mask flying while he’s still in the air.

In that split second, Duan Ling’s heart seems to stop.

Yet the man in black doesn’t dare stay and fight. He grabs the mask and moves up the wall with a back flip, disappearing behind the wall.

Only then does Wu Du remove his mask. He turns to look at Duan Ling, his eyes full of bewilderment.

“Who was that?” He asks Duan Ling.

Duan Ling shakes his head, looking just as bewildered.

Shouts are coming from inside the courtyard. They’ve clearly just come across the escaping assassin. Having recovered his wits, Duan Ling says, “Come on! Let’s go!”

He grabs Wu Du’s hand and rushes them back to their room. Wu Du knowingly grabs a robe to throw it over what he’s wearing, but Duan Ling is saying to him, “No! Strip!” And quickly strips Wu Du of his rogue’s blacks.

“Take off your boots too! Bring your daggers with you!”

Wu Du has no clue why but he quietly does it anyway.

The two of them charges out of their room once more, and the only thought in Duan Ling’s head is — that assassin had better not be gone already!

Helian Bo’s Tangut underlings, the Bian estate’s guards, Helan Jie — everyone has chased the assassin to the courtyard just beyond the main hall. The assassin flips up and over the wall, vanishing in front of their eyes.

Bare to the waist, bootless, and dressed in nothing but a pair of pants, Wu Du shouts, “Stop it right there!”

Wu Du charges at the courtyard, but by then the assassin has already gone over the wall. Duan Ling has managed to grab the very last second before the assassin left, and he quietly exclaims in his head: great timing!

Bian Lingbai stares at him in shocked silence.

As soon as Helan Jie turns back to look, he freezes on the spot.

Seemingly completely baffled, Wu Du sweeps his gaze over everyone around him, sneering, “Y’all are a pile of rubbish2 — can’t even beat a single assassin. In the end you had to leave it to your Master Wu to scare ‘im off.”

Duan Ling is speechless at his shamelessness.

Bian Lingbai says, “You … Wu Du, where were you just now?”

Wu Du says furiously, “I was half asleep. Can’t you tell?!”

Bian Lingbai then turns to shout furiously at Helan Jie, “What’s going on?! It wasn’t Wu Du?”

Duan Ling glances at Bian Lingbai, then he turns his gaze on Helan Jie with a questioning look and says most opportunely, “Where’d the assassin come from anyway?”

Bian Lingbai is also entirely in the dark; Helan Jie, on the other hand, has turned to scrutinise Duan Ling and Wu Du with open malice.

Soon afterwards:

Bian Lingbai, Duan Ling, Wu Du, as well as the crutch-leaning Fei Hongde arrive at Bian Lingbai’s room.

“Everything’s still here.” Bian Lingbai says, “The assassin’s purpose is truly difficult to fathom.”

Duan Ling puts on a show of staring at the treasure map on the table, but as soon as Bian Lingbai looks down, both Duan Ling and Wu Du turn their attention to the layout of the room. Duan Ling looks over each of the shelves while Wu Du looks at the floor, at last stopping his attention on a black brick in the corner.

“I’d only come to disturb you earlier in the night to ask where this treasure map could be pointing to, Master Fei. It’s been bothering me to just leave it there unguarded. Since you’re already feeling better, why don’t we go have a look at it in the next few days?”

Duan Ling can feel Bian Lingbai’s anxiety. But if he must think about it, things are more likely to go awry the longer they wait, and since the treasure is just sitting right there, why wouldn’t he want to take it? He merely wonders whether this urgency has anything to do with Helian Da.

“Naturally,” Fei Hongde says, “by sheer chance, you’ve saved my life tonight, General Bian.”

Duan Ling asks, “Where’d the assassin come from?”

“The assassin took me hostage and was about to torture me in order to find out why I went into the Qinling the other day.”

Bian Lingbai shudders as though he’s already made conjectures as to the assassin’s purpose, and what Fei Hongde said has just verified those conjectures.

“There’s no need to worry, general. Only Mister Zhao and I know the basic whereabouts of the treasure. I was planning to slip the assassin a lie, but then you arrived just in time, and that’s why he thought to look for the treasure map itself while he’s here and went to the study.”

“So that’s what happened …” Bian Lingbai nods, narrowing his eyes.

Is that so? Even though Fei Hongde’s deductions seem completely impeccable, it gives Duan Ling a vague feeling like something isn’t quite right about it.

Fei Hongde adds, “This assassin must be the same assassin who ambushed me near those streams in the Qinling. It’s precisely for the suspicions he gained there that he came to investigate personally. Good thing Master Wu managed to scare him off with nothing but a shout …”

Duan Ling keeps quiet.

Wu Du says, “Well, that’s only natural.”

Duan Ling has got nothing to say.

Fei Hongde grabs Bian Lingbai’s hand then, and says to him quietly, “It may just be the Tangut. General, you mustn’t set out without having a thorough plan first, lest we expose the location of the treasure trove. Give it a few days and give some time for the excitement of this evening to die down, then we’ll go there in the middle of the night and move all of the treasure away in one go. There are less chances for mishaps this way.”

“Master Fei, you’re quite right,” Bian Lingbai says.

It is already very late. Everyone returns to their own room, and as he closes the door behind him, Duan Ling lets out a breath he’s been holding all this time.

“Who was that?” Duan Ling asks, “Was he Tangut?”

“Impossible. There isn’t anyone among the Tangut who can fight like that.” After replying to Duan Ling’s question, Wu Du narrows his eyes and looks him up and down, considering.

Duan Ling has a feeling that Wu Du has his own hypothesis regarding the man in black’s identity, but he’s choosing not to tell him.

“You were really close to the assassin. Did you notice anything? Give me any clues at all.”

“None. I thought it was you at first so I wasn’t paying attention.”

“You can mistake someone else for me?!”

“You were the only one dressed in those clothes. Why ever would I think that it could have been anyone else?” Duan Ling dimly recalls a single clue. “There was a smell.”

“What smell?” Wu Du presses him.

“Sweat. He hasn’t bathed in days.”

Wu Du stares at him silently for a few heartbeats before he says, “Let’s go to sleep. This whole night has been nothing but disaster.”

“Did you find the stuff?”

“No,” Wu Du says, sounding quite cross.

“I’m guessing it’s probably in Bian Lingbai’s room …”

“It’s not like I’ve gone blind. I saw it.”

Duan Ling nods at this and lies down on the bed. When Wu Du lies down on the bed as well, Duan Ling sticks his face close and sniffs him, which makes the still half-naked Wu Du look quite embarrassed. All this thinking hasn’t been able to give Duan Ling any new ideas, however, and so Wu Du asks him, “What is it? You want a man or something?”

Duan Ling goes all red in the face. “What are you talking about?!”

Something else suddenly occurs to Wu Du, and with a wicked gleam in his eyes he looks Duan Ling over. “That Tangut barbarian didn’t grope you, did he?” And speaking of which reaches over to touch him.

Duan Ling says at once, “What’re you doing that for?”

“You’d carry on with a barbarian but you won’t let your Master Wu touch you a little? If I really wanted to take you, there’s no point in calling for help.”

Duan Ling’s face promptly turns a bright shade of red, but when he tries to struggle out of Wu Du’s grasp he’s held down on the bed instead, and Wu Du has a dangerous look in his eyes. Duan Ling has no idea how he should react, but worrying that Wu Du may actually end up doing something to him, his heart starts to beat out of his chest.

But all Wu Du does is reach underneath Duan Ling’s lapel to dig out a gold bead from his inner pocket. Then he gives it a single look before stuffing it right back.

That’s when Duan Ling comes to a sudden realisation — he knows why Wu Du let him see Helian Bo now, and it’s just as he thought, not with the best intentions. If anyone tries to take off his clothes and touch him with a centipede on his person, they’ll quite likely get bitten; a bite may not kill them on the spot, but it’s enough to cause at least a bout of suffering.

“I told you already. He won’t do anything to me.”

Wu Du remarks sarcastically, “Even if he did anything to you it’s none of my business.”

Duan Ling’s mouth twitches, but before he can react Wu Du has taken out a sheet of paper from Duan Ling robe. “And what is this now?”

Duan Ling recalls the evening’s conversation and says to Wu Du, “Helian … Mister Helian said that there are a lot of people in the nearby areas, lying in ambush.”

“What?”

Duan Ling turns over to Wu Du the information Helian Bo revealed to him earlier, and when he’s done, Wu Du looks absolutely stunned. Duan Ling says, “I … um, I think … Tongguan is in a lot of danger. We’ll have to tell Chancellor Mu immediately. Otherwise things may get out of hand.”

“Not necessarily.” Once Wu Du finishes getting the entire set of circumstances from Duan Ling, he sits back cross-legged on the bed. “What if that barbarian was lying to you?”

“He wouldn’t lie to me. What could he ever get out of lying to me?”

Duan Ling hasn’t followed that line of thought at all, but now that Wu Du has brought it up, he’s been reminded to consider it. Would Helian Bo lie to him? No, he wouldn’t, even though his friendship with Helian Bo is what makes him so sure. But from all that’s happening Duan Ling also believes that Helian Bo needs to keep the situation in his government under control, and he wouldn’t do something so pointless as to fabricate a map to lie to him.

With doubt in his eyes, he looks up at Wu Du.

Wu Du looks at the sheet of paper carefully, flipping it over. As soon as he turns it over he nods. “Hm, he won’t lie to you. Seems I worried too much.”

Duan Ling notices that a portrait of himself is drawn on the back of the map, and goes quite quiet.

Wu Du gives Duan Ling a look. “Not bad. Looks a lot like you. I see he restrained himself, observed the necessary propriety, and didn’t remove your clothes. Did you spend the entire evening cooing sweet nothings at each other and let him draw you?”

Duan Ling says immediately, “We weren’t …”

Wu Du makes to get off the bed, and Duan Ling hastens to stop him, lamenting, “Spare me! I’m serious, there was nothing of the sort!”

The bed is like a tiny little room of its own covered on every side in mosquito netting, and the way he’s clinging to Wu Du in a small space like that is making the mood between them extremely questionable. Yet Wu Du seems to be becoming quite distraught and distracted; he puts one hand back and pokes Duan Ling below the ribs, and Duan Ling immediately feels a numbness spread through half of his body, a weakness overcoming his limbs. Wu Du gets up and leaves the bed.

Seeing that Wu Du is about to fly off the handle again, Duan Ling gives off a loud shout and collapses on the bed.

Wu Du is quite taken aback and turns to look at him as soon as Duan Ling falls over. Duan Ling puts his hands over his stomach and groans, “My stomach hurts, my stomach hurts …”

Wu Du can but come back to check on him. And so Duan Ling simply lies still and watches Wu Du with pleading eyes.

Wu Du feels all the anger drain out of him; after Duan Ling throws a fit like that, he can’t even get angry anymore.

“Why you …” Wu Du pokes Duan Ling’s head with a finger. Duan Ling opens his mouth, as though he’d like to say something, but according to everything he knows about Wu Du, none of his excuses are going to work.

“Alright alright, I’ll lie down.” Irritation written all over his face, Wu Du gets on the bed.

Only then does Duan Ling feel more at ease. He says quietly in Wu Du’s ear, “What are we going to do next?”

Wu Du doesn’t want to listen to him babble on though, and turns his back on him.

“Hey.” Duan Ling grabs his shoulder and tries to turn Wu Du to face him. “We’ll have to think of some way to hold Tongguan. If those twenty-thousand men ever charge their way in here, Tongguan will be in danger.”

Without looking behind him, Wu Du puts a hand on Duan Ling’s face and pushes him back to lying down again.

“Why’re you worrying about all that stuff? It’s not any of our business.”

“But …”

Wu Du pays him no mind, and Duan Ling’s thoughts keep circling back — what’s he going to do about that letter? He’ll have to think of some way to send news back. But will Mu Kuangda agree to the terms he proposes? They definitely can’t just kill Bian Lingbai and leave; if they do, this place is sure to fall into chaos.

Their original plan was to kill and steal, then get out of here once they got the stuff. But if they get rid of Bian Lingbai now, the Tangut are eyeing the area just waiting for their opportunity to strike, and they could charge into Tongguan at any given time. Duan Ling closes his eyes and falls asleep, feeling as though there are problems every way he turns. Also, they don’t even have any evidence yet — Bian Lingbai may be trying to stage a rebellion, but there’s nothing to go on other than his words … even though he really does have the intention to do so.

I do not monetise my hobby translations, but if you’d like to support my work generally or support my light novel habit, you can either buy me a coffee or commission me. This is also to note that if you see this message anywhere else than on tumblr, do come to my tumblr. It’s ad-free. ↩︎

In the Taiwanese print copy of this book, this slang is marked with a note since it’s distinctly northern. The original was 廢物點心 / garbage dimsum, and the note explains that it means “dim sum that is pretty to look at but not good to eat”. ↩︎

#相見歡 #fei tian ye xiang #joyful reunion #xiang jian huan #fox translates things

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gryphsdeadbones · 4 years

Note

hey from one nd person to another the comic where fm gordon says a slur seems kind of in poor taste. ik ur not intentionally making light of it and tht occurring in fm should be criticized but while you dont make it out to be a good thing making jokes about it and calling him a "slurboy" is kind of questionable? it makes it seem more like a plotpoint and angst rather than the creator of fm genuinely fucking up in the past (and having moved on from it)! i think exploring fm coming to terms with being nd is a good idea but this isnt the best way to do it. if you want me to explain my point more lmk if/when u post this and i will! someone already made a post abt it but it was kinda strongly worded and i wanted to approach you more calmly because i genuinely dont want to call you out or start drama or anything ;-;

first off thank you for being civil and patient with me i appreciate this ask a lot- also this got long- im not in a flying rage or anything when i bold or emphasis text, i just needed it also for my own readability and since im not the best at wording- hopefully this hellsite works and my response is under the cut

i would like to know how is it in poor taste when freemind explicitly gets clocked at the very end for saying it. the entire point of the comic was to show that saying the r slur has existed in his source and is bad

im not sure how much more direct i can get, with the disclaimer/warning list growing longer and longer and out there for a huge sign that says “this au can get dark as fuck and these subject matters are treated seriously/not something to mess around with.” Like yes, there are some jokes in the asks and other comics, but that specific comic is not supposed to be “haha thats funny”. it has a serious tone using a rough sketch style bc i was super tired and wanted to vent

was it just the direct reference to it that just made people uncomfortable? because thats 100% understandable, and i made sure i tagged it appropriately (although admittedly, a little bit late since i thought the filter would catch at least the main thing)

i think what some people somehow got from it is “exploring sensitive content = endorsing said content” which! that is not the intent! i absolutely do not want people saying that word! I don’t want people thinking that is any way okay for this character to say

its more of a damned if i do address it, damned if i dont.

if it never comes up, people are gonna assume that ‘oh this character says slurs and is shit, surely the creator or fan-creator MUST be okay with it and woobifies freemind and absolves him of any mistakes’ or something like that. no. this asshole has an arc and i want to do it right. its serious and i think it shouldn’t be shoved under the rug

and people just. dont want to read for context for whatever reason. theyll start watching it and get taken aback by the slur and start blaming me ‘hey you never warned for this’ when very early on i keep mentioning over and over ‘you dont have to watch it if you dont want to! This has slurs and 2000s internet brand humor/style’ You really dont, I’m not forcing you to watch it- Literally all you need to know is either canon half life or hl/vrai. thats it. fm mostly follows hl1 with very slight changes.

so i had to make something that:

1. warns people who arent aware and dont want to go through my asks or about/warning pages (for whatever reason) and just want to see the art

2. also NOT downplay freemind’s canon assholery. listen, i kinda despise writing mean and cruel characters, theyre hard to do, and a lot of people get shit for doing it wrong or people going “character = author”

i’ve also considered leaving the bubbles blank, but then people could fill it with whatever they want, then blame me for being vague. or they’d fill it in with a different kind of slur that freemind has never used, even if he MIGHT be the type to do that. I needed to explicitly mention that it is ableist slur. There are shitty racist and other problematic jokes, but never those kinds of extreme racial slurs to my knowledge.

Although I do see your point that maybe joking about it outside of the serious stuff might not be the best route. The slurboy jokes are getting stale, and I will try a better way to remind people.

The thing that gets to me is that it feels people are more than ready to defend either Ross Scott or Gordon Freeman the fictonal character himself. I don’t??? really care for Ross Scott, so I don’t know if he’s ever brought it up specifically. I’m not really calling him out or cancelling him. Idc for some white man’s feelings, im only bringing the timeframe of That era and reworking it to fit in This current era.

And I hate to break it to people: Gordon Freeman is a blank slate character, you can project whatever the hell you want on him as long as it’s not freakshit illegal garbage. The machinimas (fm, hl/vrai) do have SOME characterization that I want to nail down. It fucking sucks when characters are ooc, and I’m trying not to do that, even if it means sacrificing some comfort. But still mostly staying in my comfort zone if that makes sense

Now about the callout that I do not want to engage with the op directly:

Honestly im very surprised the comic was called out when i just. thought my stuff is relatively tame on exploring the bad shit canon freemind does. ive seen him in fancontent where they really dont hold back and its still played off as ‘kinda funny’ tone.

I really don’t know if people just want any reason to hate me for whatever reason. That’s fine I guess, I can’t please everyone and they dont have to like me.

But like. isn’t it so much easier for the op of that to block me and the post and move on. Why kick up such a fuss. I can see that thinly veiled death threat of a vague. That’s pretty fucked up- Like holy fucking god, you do not have to like my stuff. I’m not holding you at knifepoint to like my stuff. I’ve specifically made two different tags (one general au, one specific au) if anyone wants to blacklist it for their own reasons I do not need to know. I don’t want to know.

You’re allowed to be uncomfortable. You’re allowed to unfollow/blacklist/block.

However you just don’t go ranting about it for something you horribly misinterpreted. If it bothers you so badly, literally just. drop me a message to clarify. thats it. or save yourself the time and block me.

I’ve blocked the op for both our sakes, but if anyone wants to send this post to them, then thats fine. I don’t want anything to do with them.

I don’t want to link the post and blow it up. I just want shit clarified, dropped and we can move the fuck on with our lives.

If you’re reading this and don’t know what the post is, please don’t bother. I do not want people going after the op with threats, please keep it civil, I’d prefer if you don’t engage with the post at all on my behalf.

Despite this huge wall of text, I do not want this to be a big deal, so please don’t ask me about the details.

As for anon, feel free to dm me either on here or. Maybe on discord if you’d still like to suggest or have something more cleared up. I’m still willing to hear any kind of feedback, and i want to thank you again for being reasonable about this

#Anonymous #ask #jdb faq #ask to tag #long post

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smallestclowninthecircus · 3 years

Text

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

#tma #neptune's tma notes #notes #tma season 3

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jiilys · 4 years

Text

good crimes

also on ao3

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: do u think i should get a fringe

Sirius Black: depends if u want james to fuck you again

Lily Evans: harsh

Lily Evans: a fringe wont effect my GREAT boobs

Lily Evans: ive rung mar im doing it anyway get fucked

Sirius Black: have fun becoming a born again virgin just to spite me

“Do you think Jane Austen could’ve written more convincingly about love if she’d been married?”

Sirius, lying on his bed scrolling through Twitter and ignoring Remus’ emails, didn’t look up.

“Jane Assrim?”

“Jane Austen,” Lily flopped onto the bed and made Sirius drop his phone down the side of it. “I’ve just read the most infuriating article”

Sirius, phoneless, not quite ready to let the joke go: “Jane Offramp, did you say?”

“- think you have to married to write about love? Is it a fucking prerequisite? And what does ‘write convincingly about love’ even mean? Like Sense and Sensibility isn’t fucking incredible-”

“That was a good movie.”

Lily turned to him, “I know you read the book.” He had, but only because it was cheaper than getting Lily a birthday present last year.

“He said Sense and Sensibility would’ve been more convincing if Jane was married?”

“Yes. I mean, I’m paraphrasing, but yes.”

“She wasn’t?”

“No. Do you listen when I talk?”

“Not if I can help it.”

“Pity. Maybe then you’d be better at pub quizzes.”

“One time!” Sirius shoved his hand down the side of the bed, grasping for the phone, “One fucking quiz! I’d had eleven gins!”

“It was seven gins”

“Thirteen gins!”

“Seven, at best.” Lily sat up, “I don’t know what to do about this, I’m thinking about scrapping my entire thesis to exclusively write about why this guy sucks one.”

Sirius finally grasped the phone, “That sounds unwise.”

“We won’t know till I’ve tried it.”

“I think we know now.”

“Buzzkill. Go have another gin.”

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: you home for dinner tonight

Lily Evans: ill be in

Sirius Black: im going to combine spaghetti and baked beans in a pot and make spaghetti beans

Lily Evans: im out

Sirius Black: ive bought wine

Lily Evans: back in

“You’re not naked in there are you!”

“Why would I be naked?”

Sirius poked his head around the door holding a cup of tea. Lily was sat on the bed, laptop open, fully clothed. He ventured inside. “’Heard Potter and didn’t want to interrupt kinky shit.”

“We’re trying to decide how to email my landlord about mowing the lawn,” James’ voice, crackly, through the laptop, “But if that does it for you Black I’m not judging.” He’s wearing a top that is definitely Remus’ and hasn’t bothered to button it.

“Have you brought me a tea?” Lily asked, sweetly.

“No. I came to ask if you knew where the sieve was and Potter’s out here with his shirt undone like this is a porno.”

“Sorry for turning you on this early.” James said, gleeful.

Lily leant back against her pillows. “Give me the tea and I’ll tell you where the sieve is”

James, the traitor, laughed. Sirius squinted. “Are you kidding.”

Lily held out a hand and after taking a second to weigh his options (leave, sieveless, back at square one or hand over the tea, make a new one, gain sieve). Sirius gave her the mug.

Lily blew on it. “We don’t have a sieve” She said, solemnly, and James howled. Sirius lunged for the tea.

“Kidding!” Lily swooped it out of his reach as James continued to make inhuman noises that were surely annoying at least half of the California population, “Top drawer above the oven!”

Unknown to Lily Evans: lill

Unknown: its siriius

Unknown: am out lost phone pls call uber

Lily Evans: where are you

Unknown: nandos on main

Lily Evans: the one where i broke my heel or the one you and james are banned from

Unknown: banned

Lily Evans: number plate is JKY879 u have three minutes

Unknown: thank u lpve u

James Potter to Sirius Black: call me

Sirius Black: you call me

Sirius Black: im not paying three pounds a minute for you to tell me to check my email

James Potter: its not abt emails

James Potter: we’ll bill it to the company

Sirius Black: we are the company

Sirius let the phone ring four times before he picked up. “’Bill it to the company’ are you mad?”

“I’ve literally left a meeting to ring you and you can’t even pick up quickly. What was the name of that guy from that 2014, that investor, hated us-”

“All of them.”

“But he liked Remus-”

“Again, all of them.”

“-had that terrible tie, remember? It had birds on it and his last name was, like, ‘brain’ or something and he got really shitty when we wouldn’t stop going on-“

“Harvey Brain. Pronounced Bry-an” Sirius said, instantly, “We nicked those mints they had in reception.”

“Brilliant. ‘Ring you when I’m out of this.”

“You look terrible” Sirius said to Lily, who did.

“The fringe does not react well to heat.” She opened the fridge and stuck her head inside it.

Sirius, in a show of great maturity, did not say ‘I told you so’. Lily, who knew he was thinking it, said “Shut up” anyway, so what was the point.

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: so help me god. if the dishwasher isnt empty when i get home. i will murder you. actual and full death will come your way

Lily Evans: this is not a joke i will actually kill you sirius

Sirius Black: mark zuckerdick if ur reading these she rlly is threating me

Sirius Black: call mi6

Lily Evans: ill happily go to jail if people empty the dishwasher there

“I need you to come get me-“

Lily sat up, “Who is this?”

“Fuck off” Sirius’ voice, annoyed, vaguely drunk but mostly not, “I know you know”

“I was asleep.”

“You don’t sleep.”

She avoided that. “What happened?”

“Bar. Fight. He started it.”

“Oh really.”

“Believe me, would you?”

“I try but it’s hard seeing as I know you.”

“Don’t tell the boys. I’m in Croydon.”

“Croydon?”

“Don’t start. I’ll pay your cab fare.”

“You won’t”

“I will. Be quick.”

Lily, already with shoes on, “I’m not even out of bed”

“Liar.”

“Do I need bail money?”

“I’m at the hospital”

“What?” Lily’s heart, suddenly in her knees.

“Bruised ribs. It’s nothing. They won’t let me walk out alone.”

“Hospital?-“

“Some snitches. Black eye. It’s nothing. You should-“

“Don’t say ‘see the other guy’-“

“I was going to say ‘see me’ by which I mean hurry up-“

“Ungrateful!” Lily pulled on a fresh shirt, hands reaching for her house keys, “Watch yourself or I won’t come.”

“You bloody will.”

“Yeah.” Reaching for the door handle, “hey-“

“Yeah?”

“No murders?” their dumb code meaning, you good? Meaning: do I have to kill for you? Meaning: I would, just say.

“No murders.”

“See you in forty, don’t say-“

“Speed.”

“Asshole. I hope I get every light.”

Lily Evans to we’re not calling the company massivesoft: remus tell potter anytime he wants to talk to me and not my boss i am available

Remus Lupin: isn’t he talking to you??

Lily Evans: he always rings me on the work phone hes been talking to narelle for fifteen minutes

James Potter: dont be jealous that narelle and i have a special relationship

Lily Evans: didnt think my greatest threat would be my 57 year old boss and yet

Remus Lupin: yeah i had bets on sirius

Sirius Black: honestly me too fuck up narelle

“Would it fucking kill you to remember anything-“

“Moony, hold on-“

“I’m serious-“

“Actually I’m-“

“Fucking don’t I swear to Christ-“

Sirius grinned, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, “I forgot, shit- I forgot about the call, I’m sorry.”

Remus sighed, bone-deep and familiar, “I need you on those things. Otherwise I just get-“

“- Walked over.”

“Out-negotiated-“ He sighed again.

Sirius bit his lip, “Did it go well?”

“I rescheduled. I can’t do that shit without you.”

He smiled. “World’s worst lawyer.”

“This is business. It requires a blind confidence and ability to bullshit which-“

“- I contain in multitudes.”

“Look at you, quoting me.”

“If you were any good at business you’d bill me for that.”

Remus snorted. Sirius could picture it, Remus, exhausted, rubbing his face over his computer, almost laughing. “I am sorry about missing the call.”

“I know.” Remus, leaning back against his office chair, head to the ceiling, phone to his ear. Sirius could feel it like a toothache. “It’s bullshit that you’re not here. If you were here I could force you onto the phone.”

“Oh Moony, it’s almost like you miss me.”

“It’s this heat, it’s making me fucking crazy. How are you, anyway? Lil said she’s growing out the fringe due to your bullying.”

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: what the fuck is in the fridge

Lily Evans: is this about the bird

Lily Evans: the neighbours cat was eating it!! i had to bring it inside

Lily Evans: the bin was full and we’re out of bags i didn’t know where else to put it

Lily Evans: i thought if i left it out it would start to smell

Lily Evans: I wrapped it up!! i couldn’t just leave it!!

Lily Evans: can’t believe im getting roasted for caring about nature

Sirius Black: was actually talking about the skim milk but glad we got the bird thing out of the way

“Mar’s coming round,” Lily said, “She’s bringing wine.”

“I thought you had that test thing.” Sirius was eating sour cream with a spoon right out of the pot.

“That was today, it went fine. But Nathan sent Mar a follow request on Instagram, then messaged her on Facebook to ask if she’d gotten it.”

“Hence the wine.”

“Yeah, he’s not blessed with your moves.” Two years ago, drunk on New Year’s Eve, Marlene and Sirius had fucked in Remus’ bed. This was a source of constant amusement for everyone, except briefly for Remus while it was occurring.

“What I have can’t be taught.”

“But it can be caught,” Lily took the sour cream out of his hands, “You’re foul. We’re making popcorn.”

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: remus just told me what him and james call us

Sirius Black: is it not our names

Lily Evans: the lady and the tramp

Sirius Black: HA

Sirius Black: found my next tattoo

“Your party sucks.” Lily said, shutting the sliding door. Inside, she hears a glass break.

“Most of them are your friends.” Sirius, chain-smoking over the balcony, didn’t look over. Lily walked over to stand next to him.

“It’s the music that’s the problem.” Mary’s voice, mixed in with thumping drum and base, seeped under the door, apologising about the glass. The balcony was littered with cigarette butts. “Twenty-three, Black. You’re proper old now.”

“Tell me about it.”

“We need some Springsteen.” She said, which actually meant we need James. “Whose playlist is this? Where’s Born to Run?” Sirius doesn’t say anything.

The horrible thing was, when James had first told her about the Visa issue she’d thought it was funny. It was funny, to everyone, at the time. Sirius, on some USA Visa watchlist because of some prank he’d pulled on this mother at fourteen that grounded two planes and killed four seagulls. Now, in the dark, in this year, it seemed entirely less funny. James and Remus in Silicon Valley, setting up the company for real and Sirius, left behind. Eleven again, still.

He flicked his cigarette to the floor and crushed it with his foot, still hunched over the railing. Lily put her head on his shoulder and hummed the chorus of ‘Hungry Heart’ quietly, and Sirius is pulled back to this year, twenty-three, with broken glass inside the flat, grounded again.

James Potter to exclusively business: god this accountant smells like cheese

Sirius Black to exclusively business: that’s not very businessesy

James Potter: ur right

James Potter created the group cheesy accountant

James Potter added Sirius Black, Remus Lupin

Sirius Black: are you seeing the accountant for the business though??

James Potter: god right again

James Potter created the group exclusively cheesy accountant business

James Potter added Sirius Black, Remus Lupin

Remus Lupin: is this why ur in the goddamn bathroom james get back here

Sirius Black: does he smell like cheese moons

Remus Lupin: it is pungent yes

“The service here is terrible.” Sirius said, slumping on the counter and looking awful.

“He means can we please have some fries.” Marlene said, looking marginally better, wearing Sirius’ jacket.

“Funny,” Lily skated over, “Didn’t sound like it.”

Marlene grinned, “Rollerblades day?” Sirius’ head jerked up.

“Jay’s here so Narelle is making us.” Lily said, flatly, and pretended to charge them, “Swipe your card, or something.”

“Every day should be rollerblades day.” Sirius was recovering quickly, “No one rocks The Blades like you do-“

Lily ignored him. “At least pretend to swipe a debt card Mar, what is that?”

Marlene held it up, “My library card.”

“I’m going to start calling you ‘Blades’, recognise your talent-“

“Go away.” Marlene and Lily said, nearly in unison. Sirius held his hands up and slunk off.

“He was basically in a coma this morning,” Marlene swiped her library card, pretended to type a pin, “I had to drag him here, this is giving me an error notice by the way.”

“Stop pressing buttons, was it a good night?”

“It was alright. I lost him” she jerked her thumb to Sirius, collapsed against a table, “But ended up seeing him later. Wish you were there- I think I’ve broken this machine. It won’t give me my card back-“

“Christ, how have you done this-“

“Me? It’s your machine-“

“When are you even at the library-“

“Are you saying I can’t read-“

“What? When did I say that-“

“I’ll pull this side, you pull the other-“

“That is a terrible idea-“

“Ready?”

Sirius, appearing from nowhere, yanked the card out in one swift motion and presented it to Marlene. “McKinnon, I didn’t know you couldn’t read.”

Lily Evans to James Potter: you awake

James Potter: its two over there go to bed

Lily Evans: yeah yeah

Lily Evans: wanna hear my voice

James Potter: god yeah

James Potter: give me two minutes im about to go through a tunnel ill ring you

Lily Evans: see you on the other side

Lily Evans: ‘god yeah’

Lily Evans: you wont get this till ur out of the tunnel but shit im mad for you

Lily hit Sirius in the face with her bag strap, “Wake up.”

He didn’t flinch or open his eyes, “What?”

“Jesus, you’re not even asleep.”

“Yes I am.”

“Liar. Get up, you said you’d come with me to this thing.”

“The Masters mixer?”

Lily rolled her eyes, “It’s a mixer-“

“- a Masters mixer-“

“- for Masters students. There is no need to give it a name.”

“But ’Master’s mixer’ rolls right off the tongue.”

“Get up-“ Lily hit him with her bag this time, “You said you’d come-“

“Ow-“ eyes open now, “Those things suck, everyone always thinks we’re dating.”

“I’ll tell them you’re my brother.”

“That’ll never work, I’m way better looking than you.”

Lily turned away, “Right, you’re uninvited-“

“Hey!” Sirius’ arm shot out, grabbed her wrist.

“I’m Masters Mixing without you-“

“You said I could go!”

“Invitation rescinded.”

“Come on! I’ll wear a tie!”

Lily looked smug, “You are so predictable.”

“Please,” Sirius sat up, “You’d be so bored without me there.”

Lily, who would be, said: “I’ll say you’re my step-brother”

“You can still date your step-brother.”

“Not with a clear conscience, you can’t. Get up, I’ve rung a cab.”

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: sleep nutty professor

Lily Evans: just had major breakthrough with The Thesis i cant

Lily Evans: also tell the girl/guy/person ur with to not drink all the milk tmrw theres barely any

Sirius, stationed outside the Lily’s room, banged on the door again. “C’mon Evans!”

James, distantly, from the phone hung by Sirius’s leg. “Maybe she’s not in”

Sirius put the phone back to his ear, “I know she’s in,” He continued to bang but returned to James, “Does this mean you guys are going to be meeting Bill Gates?”

“Dunno. I guess it’s his money so, like, maybe? Oh God-“

“If you met Bill Gates without me I’m going to be so fucking pissed-“

“How could we met him with you you’re in London-“

“EVANS! OPEN UP! WE HAVE MONEY NEWS!” Sirius returned to the phone, “You’ll probably get a picture with the ghost of Steve Jobs or something, God, I’m already annoyed about it.”

“If we met Steve Jobs’ ghost I promise to put him in a jar and send him home.”

“You had better-“ Sirius, who had paused in his banging to finish the Steve-Jobs-ghost threat, could hear something coming from the other side of the door. Music, played just low enough for someone who didn’t want people outside to be able to hear. “She’s playing the Sense and Sensibility Soundtrack.”

“What?” James’ whole tone changed, “Is she alright?”

Sirius banged again, “Evans!” Nothing. She turned the volume down.

“Are you sure its Sense and Sensibility?” James, insistent.

“Of-course it is.” Sirius banged on the door again, “Evans, What’s wrong?” No answer.

“Do you think there’s any chance it’s because I look a little bit like Hugh Grant and she hasn’t seen me in eight months?” He sounded a little desperate.

Sirius snorted. “You do not look like Hugh Grant.”

“Sirius-“

“Honest to God, do you actually think you look like Hugh Grant?”

“Would you-“

“Total opposites, honestly, never looked less like a person-”

“Sirius,” James cut him off, “Something might be really wrong, you have to let me talk to her.”

“Oi, Lil!” Sirius called, “Do you think James looks like Hugh Grant?”

A voice, thick, from behind the door: “Fuck no.”

Sirius knocked again, politely, letting the phone drop to his side (James, distantly: “I said a little, put Lil on, Christ-“). Lily opened the door, face red, puffy eyes, hand gripping the door edge.

Sirius stared, James forgotten. “What happened.”

“Petunia is engaged.” Lily’s voice, raw and wrong, “To Vernon. Eliza Hunt told me at the supermarket.”

Sudden flashes of Petunia, the only time he’d ever met her, sat in the back of Lily’s twenty-first, pinched and whispering. “Whose Eliza Hunt?” This seems as good a thing to say as any.

“Our old neighbour. She got an invite to their engagement party last week.” She sniffed, rubbed a hand over her face. Sirius couldn’t think of anything to say, except that he wanted to throw Petunia into a very deep ocean.

“What’s the news?” Lily asked. She looked so tired. He cannot remember the last time she’d slept.

“Bill Gates’ foundation is giving us a ton of money and James is going to post me Steve Jobs’ ghost.”

Faintly, Lily smiled. “Is the money to buy the ghost?”

“Nah he’s going to steal that, moneys for the business.” She smiled again, stronger. Jackpot. Sirius handed the phone to her, James’ voice barely audible. She reached for it, and he gripped it tightly, only for a minute. “Hey.” She looked at him, red eyes, hand out-stretched. He can read her backwards.

“I’m good.” she said. He kept looking.

“No murders?”

“Yeah,” half-smile, “No murders.”

Remus Lupin to Lily Evans: tell him to check his fucking emails im going fucking feral

Lily Evans: will do

Lily Evans: he says so be it

“Keira Knightley’s in it.”

“Is it Pirates of the Caribbean?”

“No-“

“Why isn’t it? Let’s watch Pirates of the Caribbean” Sirius, lying across the couch, kept throwing remote in the air.

“Just because you think you look like Orlando Bloom-“

“I do look like him-“

“Only if you shut your eyes and drop acid-“

“Hey-“

“We are not watching Pirates of the Caribbean again. You’ll like Atonement, I promise, it’s like an epic war love story-“

“So like Pirates of the Caribbean but without-“

“- He’s not your twin-“

“My twin-“

Lily rolled her eyes, considered pushing his legs off her lap, didn’t: “You can’t only watch films because you look a little like one of the actors.”

“So you do think I look like him!”

“No I said think you look like-“

“You said ‘look a little like’! Ha!”

Lily pushed his legs off her lap. “If you look like Orlando Bloom then I look like Molly Ringwald.”

“Nah, you know who you look like,” Sirius tilted his head, “The kid from Finding Nemo with the braces. The one who holds the fish in a bag.”

“Oh my God-“

“Only a little-“

“You suck. You fully suck.” Lily was laughing.

“Let’s watch Finding Nemo! See your twin for a change-“

“You’re pushing it now.”

“Fine, maybe twin is a little strong. Cousin.”

“Second cousin. And you and Orlando could be, like, half-brothers if I have two beers and squint.”

“I’ll take it.”

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: what the fuck

Sirius Black: evans its three

Lily Evans: sorry i dropped a tray promise ill b quieter

Lily Evans: dont worry im not making brownies again

Sirius Black: thank god those were shit

Lily Evans: fuck you

Sirius Black: you were the one that put them in the bin

Lily Evans: go to bed judas

“We’re trying to stay positive.”

“I’m not trying that hard.” Sirius confessed, and Lily punched him on the arm before going back to the phone.

“We’re just waiting for the locksmith. If we still had a spare this wouldn’t be happening, but-“

“If you took your keys!-“

Lily punched him again, and Sirius groaned and fell back against the grass.

Over the phone, Marlene finally composed herself. “You two are tragic. Come ‘round and sleep here.”

“Can’t, we said we’d wait around. You could come here though.”

“And lie on the lawn in the middle of the night with you and Mr Positive? I’ll pass.”

“Hey, Sirius,” Lily held the phone away from her ear, “I think that’s an ant’s nest.”

Sirius leapt up so quickly he almost hovered in the air. He stared at the empty ground, wide eyed, before turning back to Lily, who was laughing so hard she’d dropped the phone.

“Oh, very funny, you’re hilarious. McKinnon,” he picked up the phone, “You’ve got to get over here, I’m going to kill Evans and I need you to call the cab to move the body.”

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: ive bought eggs and cheese

Lily Evans: ur cooking tonight so looking forward to the meal of cheesy eggs

Lily Evans: sirius im kidding please dont make that

Lily Evans: sirius

Lily took the phone and didn’t even say hello, “You’ve got to stop ringing,” she said, meaning none of it, “Narelle really thinks you’re on the verge of investing. It’s not on.”

“Hey, I always say I’m ‘thinking about’ investing,” James pointed out, “I could be thinking about anything. I’m thinking about finishing my engineering degree, I’m thinking about ringing my mother, I’m thinking about investing in your diner-”

“it’s not my diner-“

“it will be when I invest in it. One of my stipulations.”

“Wouldn’t that be buying the diner?”

“Don’t get all technical on me, Evans.”

“Apologises. You were saying you were going to give me the diner.”

“Yes, what a great boyfriend I am.”

“You’d be even better if you just gave me the money.” Lily spun the phone cord around her finger, grinning as James laughed.

“C’mon, I’d let you rename it and everything. ‘Lily’s’ has a ring to it.”

“Unoriginal.”

“What would you call it?”

“I dunno. ‘Star Wars’ or something. Get some publicity off the lawsuit.”

“Moony would defend you.”

“Ah yes, with his degree in financial law.”

“I didn’t say he’d be any good at it.”

Lily smiled. “How’s California?”

“Boring without you guys.”

“Don’t let Remus hear you say that.”

“Eh, he’d say the same.” James paused, “Sirius alright?”

Flashes of Sirius, flushed, spread on the carpet, What if everyone was right? Head lolling, party over, I don’t know where I’m going. I thought I’d know.

“Yeah. Last night he tried to make you guys a Wikipedia page.”

James snorted, “He’s been trying to do that since high school.”

“Don’t say ‘he’ like you weren’t also trying.”

James, again, grinning. She can tell from an ocean away. “You sleeping?”

“With other people? No.”

“Thank god for that, but really. My sources say you’re even more awake than usual.”

“Sirius doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“My sources are actually highly knowledgeable.”

“But still can’t make a Wikipedia page.” He doesn’t say anything, and Sirius is such a traitor. He has him worried. “I’m fine, really. Just a bit of a weird one. I’m going to sort it out.” She meant it.

“Okay. Don’t be pissed off at my sources, Marlene also ratted you out.”

“Terrible mates.” Lily lied.

“Yeah, worse luck, having people give a shit about you. Just wait till you own the diner, then they’ll only want you for your money.”

“Tell me about it, why do you think I’m with you?” And again, miles away, he laughed.

Lily Evans to crab on the cob: sirius just started doing karaoke

Remus Lupin: I didn’t know byo’s did karaoke

Lily Evans: neither did the owner

Lily Evans: the whole byo is now singing take on me

Lily Evans: we’re doing mamma mia next

Lily tapped on the window and Sirius, smoking outside, swung around. She pointed to other side of the bar, past the people, where Marlene and Nathan were grossly making out against the pinball machine. Sirius made a face, stamped out his cigarette, and went inside.

“Christ, you can see the tongue from here.” He took the beer out of Lily’s hand and drank some, “No respect for the festivities.”

“At least someone is getting some.”

“Aw, Lil,” he nudged her arm, “I’ll hook up with you if you want.”

“I’d rather eat glass, but thanks though.”

“Anytime.”

She took her beer back from him. Mary, a few feet in front of them, was drinking a ghastly pink thing that James used to call flamingo piss, and talking to Diner Natalie (as Sirius called her) about Love Island. Narelle, who had gotten wind of the party, was standing by the counter arguing with the bartender about the peanuts on offer.

“Twenty-three Evans,” Sirius said, echoing her, “You’re proper old now.”

“Still younger than you though.”

“Funny how that works.” He took her beer again. She couldn’t remember when they had started drinking the same brand. It had been such a long year, but next month the boys would be home for three weeks and this morning James had sent flowers and Remus a vase, and Sirius said he’d pay the water bill so technically it was a three-way gift. You could practically hear Remus’ eyeroll through the phone. They were too good to be believed.

“’Glad I live with you.” Sirius said, suddenly, holding her now finished beer. “You’re- I’m just glad. I’m glad it’s you.”

Lily looked at him, “Me too.” She said, and squeezed his wrist. He knocked a hand against her thigh. This was the real gift.

“Offer to hook up still stands.”

Lily laughed, “You know, if you think about it you’re one hook up removed from Nathan.”

“What?”

“You fucked Mar, Mar is now getting felt up by Nathan. That’s, like, one degree of separation. I’m not getting with anyone whose gotten with Nathan-“

“Okay, wow, I have not gotten with- wow, this is low, I’m being nice and you’re out here saying I’ve fucked Nathan-“

“Hey, no judgement and no murders and all that, but I have ground rules-“

Sirius, laughing, “I hate you. That’s my ground rule.”

Lily, singing: “And happy birthday to meee-“

“God, get away from me. I can’t believe I’ve accidentally hooked up with Nathan.”

“Maybe getting me another beer would make you feel better.”

“Wow, you’re always looking out for me huh?”

“You know it. Make sure it’s chilled, would you?”

#yes i have been promising this for going on a year but its done!! its large and finished #sirius black #lily evans #carolineswritingtag #no murders!! no murders till they die!! probably from sleep deprivation as theyre both A Mess thank god they have each other #atlas verse #anyway please do talk to me abt this i feel like ive been picking at it forever please tell me what works and what doesnt #bc at this point i have no clue all i know is that lily loves sense and sensibility and sirius eats straight (ha) sour cream

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