#so lets just pretend i've posted this art yesterday

[stealingpotatoes]

Invitation to talk about Sayuri and Nymie?

:D CAN OF WORMS: OPENED!! i'll tell u abt how they got found as Jedi

ok so Sayuri is one of the students that doesn't rlly go home bc there isn't much to go back to. Basically her parents were Rebellion pilots (or one was a pilot the other a mechanic. kinda unsure) but were both killed in action against the Empire abt 3-4ABY ish. obvs the Rebellion couldn't look after a 7-8yo while fighting the Empire

so the remainder of the squad manage to get her back to her parents' home village/ where she was born. so having like Everything change all at once leaves her pretty ?? and gives her some serious trusting-her-environment issues. her coolgirl "i dont care" persona is very much a result of this bc she's worried abt getting too comfy in smthn. (which is at odds w the OTHER issue she got from this event which is "deathly afraid of flying" an issue not helped if Master "traffic laws are just guidelines" Skywalker is piloting. but she tries 2 act like shes fine)

this is gonna get kinda long so im gonna smack some unposted art here and then go into a readmore

anyway fast forwarding to when Sayuri's abt 13 (roughly 9aby) she's visiting her parent's old squadron on a New Republic bc they'd all come visit whenever she could and after the Empire's fall they did a lot more pick her up and fly her to a base to ALL see her. and they're like omg Sayuri you came at the PERFECT time bc this rlly amazing pilot war hero who's also some like. mystical whatever is here!! he's on his way to some magic place we heard. maybe u can meet him!! which sayuri meets w her usual whatever bc she's not that gassed abt war heroes.

very worth noting that the squad's probably all seen her move shit with her mind, but theyre like oh you know how it is with teenage girls. the "nobody knows what a jedi is" + "the empire existed for a decent bit of her childhood" thing has kept anyone from being like yeahh sayuri should like. talk to someone abt this.

anyway she goes along when the squad are like c'mon let's see if we can see him. ok the only way i can describe this is you know the spiderverse like... spidey-sense recognition thing? that's basically what happens LOL Luke and Sayuri both have a FORCE USER RECOGNISED?? moment and Luke then makes a beeline for her then realises oh shit tiny teenager not jedi. would you LIKE to be a jedi?? and sayuri who hates her village and is feeling the strongest emotional connection she's felt in forever w this stranger she met 2 seconds ago is like okay fuckin sure yeah. and woo jedi!!

i posted my unposted nymie art yesterday but likkeeee pretend theres some here <3

So Sayuri falls into the "one of the Jedi found them thru the force or by chance" category of students who get found. However Nymie very much falls into the second category, which is "CAN SOMEONE DEAL WITH THIS WEIRD SUPERPOWERED CHILD FOR US????"

So 2 things about Nymie: 1. like i've said before, she's from a very rich high class pantoran family. super stuck up, mostly raised by nannies & tutors, but somehow Nymie just didn't get the stuck-up genes like all her (4!!) siblings who are just obsessed w their social standing etc and is instead just :D all the time. 2. her proficiency ig is the living force esp in the 'good at connecting to animals' way (which I think means I legally need to draw her w Ezra).

so the former often led her to escaping her family's stuffy parties and galas or whatever (usually to whoever's house it is' garden or somewhere she wasnt meant to be) to find something interesting. usually a pet <3 one particular time when she was 9 she was following her Pet Sense but couldnt find anything in the house. so she kinda just reached out more and long story short thats how Nymie managed to call this hugemassive beast (i'd tell u what it was if i knew pantoran animals LOL) out of the nearby countryside to her. massively distressing for everyone, all these rich ppl were like "OH MY GOD I NEARLY DIED" (it didnt attack anyone). very funny exciting time for Nymie who was enjoying this new beastie friend til animal control showed up. saddening. everyone is confused bc HOW did that happen

a dude old (and cool) enough to have seen more than one jedi in their heyday (+ idk uni researcher knows his shit) noticed what happened w it going straight to Nymie and overheard her account and realised what happened and was like hi nymie's parents. i think u need to get into contact w the new republic bc thats a jedi right there (which they take and go oo social climbing. we have a jedi child people will think we're cooler. bc theyre assholes)

and yeah im losing steam now but luke shows up and she joins the academyyay!

[mrs-monaghan]

Another entry. Firstly, Still With Me? Did JK release a new song that I didn’t know about? Secondly, I would rather speculate that a song is about someone then a hand gesture that a lot of people do.

I saw them coming at us for paying attention to numbers and 11/08 even though that's way more real than whatever tf this is. Like... aren't they embarrassed????

Anyway guys, I have an announcement to make.

Attention please!

Thank u ☺☺

Okay so I've been getting alot of frustrated asks mad at tkkrs and antis on twitter, right? Unfortunately I tend not to post them because I don't wanna bring too much negativity on this blog. Especially when some of those things are vile AF. Anyway, the point of this post is, My friends and I are in a Jikook discord and a few of us do this thing on twitter where we fight antis and shit especially when they come to Jikook spaces.

As we know recently a big Jikook account with 15k followers was attacked the other day for liking a post from an anti. But she had no idea that person was one. She just liked the post coz it was Jikook related. It's an easy mistake to make, really. She tried apologising and explaining she'd blocked the anti but these assholes didn't listen. They went though her profile and started commenting under all her regular, normal tweets that she was an anti and should be ashamed of herself or whatever. They were determined to give her no peace whatsoever.

When called out themselves, one account shamelessly said that they were antis and proud. That they didn't pretend that they don't hate Jimin. This really made me mad. It's not the first time they've been quite proud of the Jimin hate they partake in. Tkk accounts will gets thousand of likes on a post hating on Jimin and this ain't right. An anon sent in an ask venting about us being cowards and I agree. They attack Jikookers and these jkkrs end up deleting their Jikook posts. THIS SHIT AIN'T RIGHT!!! Its not.

They do this thing where they move in balk. My friends and I tried to back this account up. Encouraged her not to let them get to her. But it dont matter that 5 people are on your side if 30 people are telling you to kill yourself its just... /sigh/

This account is still running. But they had to unfollow everyone they follow and start from scratch. This ain't right guys. Its just not fair no matter how u look at it. I think we need to start giving tkkrs the same energy they give us.

Simply ignoring them is NOT working. We don't go to them, they come to us. I think its time Jikookers fought fire with fire. Which is why I'm making this post. A few of us had the idea to create a Jikook fighting discord.

If you are reading this and are tired of taking shit lying down. If you have wanted to fight these people but you were worried that you are just one person and won't make a difference. If you see the Jimin hate and wish there was something you could do about it, I come with an offer. Fuck tkkrs. Fuck antis. Fuck solos and fuck ot7 accounts that call out the vermin but then delete their tweets when they start to loose followers. Fuck all these people. Lets do something about this, ourselves.

Tkkrs are the ones causing chain reactions. If they didn't attack Jimin, Jimin solos wouldn't attack V and JK. (Yesterday I saw an art of JK with a dirty diaper and I just...🤮) If they shipped in peace and didn't attack Jimin literally all this shit wouldn't be happening.

I say we give them a taste of their own medicine. So if you see this post and you agree that enough is enough, then come join us here.

If you can't join then spread the word. Time to defend Kookmin and Koominers. Fuck this shit. The vermin have ran rampant for long enough. Photoshopping Jimin getting blown by band pd wasn't enough. Now they're editing him into porn. Guys, they've go10 too comfortable. Let's do something!

1) Create a separate twitter account before you join us. Safer not to use your main

2) ONLY Jikookers allowed in this discord. If you are not one of us we will know.

See you soon. I hope some of you consider. This shit has to stop. Kookminers assemble!!

Bless 💜

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Thanks for your response. I was the anon who ended the ask with 'the fandom can suck it'. When I saw that anon who you and twinanimatronics had assumed to be the one that keeps you know starting shit with you, I really hated that they labeled us as shipbrain or whatever they said. I am aroace who finds comfort in shipping characters and that doesn't make me any less aroace. Can't people like them just let us have this, let us share it and stop taping our mouths? God. We are not even hurting anyone. I posted a solarxmoon and solarxearth mini comic thing yesterday and behold, I believe that same anon found it and is looking adamantly through the solarxmoon and even solarxearth because I didn't use the tsams tag for my comic. I took the comic down fast and turned off anon messages so quick because God that anon was quick to leave nasty messages, six in total and that was panic attack inducing. I'm sorry for rambling about this. I don't know anyone else who got that same anon on their back. It looks like they are persistent for lack of better term and it annoys me+scares me. Can't even share things I like about here anymore. Hoping solarxmoon becomes canon so that anon can shut up already

If Solar Moon became canon, they don't even need to change anything.

The actors don't even need to pretend to kiss or be romanically involved at all.

It's literally as simple as "Oh yeah, we were dating for months, anyway..."

OH AND... FUCK THAT ANON. I know the user you are talking about, I think there's around two or three of them... and it seems like they're dead set on hunting down people who use that Solarmoon or Solar x Moon tag.

Going into popular users in the tsams fandom that I personally don't know... and spreading bad lies and rumors about me.

Like, they typically try to keep it as vague as possible, like "oh I am not talking about dana-chan-the-control-brain specifically....." but they often steal the exact wording and turn of phrase I use.

Cause I have an overly wordy way of talking on the internet.

I've always been this way since I was 15, so I feel my style of speaking is pretty overly wordy, rambly and long compared to most people just because I don't have a lot to share with my opinions with in real life. And I also misspell things a lot cus spellcheck has gotten worse since it became AI trained and it doesn't help my dyslexia.

But how sad is that? That someone is searching out the tag for a ship that they don't like, claim that "it's everywhere" and I'm "poisoning the fanbase" when I'm just.... here... playing with my own dolls, doing my own thing.... and not bothering anyone... Not even putting the ship in the tags publicly because I have Such respect and love for the silly little youtube show, who also plays with fnaf characters like they're dolls.

(just saying.. "bio-organic" and interdimensional travel did NOT come from fnaf I can tell you that much. )

And yeah, if they're really stumbling across Solarmoon or these ships on accident.......Blacklist the tags and move on? Don't come to my messages... Don't harass my friends...

And don't harass other people I DON'T EVEN KNOW because someone just said "hehe but what if they kissed" on the internet?

Like blocklist the tag, and move on.

I know the blocklisting tagging system sucks sometimes, so maybe it's picking up "Solar" like in that case? Just scroll super fast and don't look at it?

And yeah. You don't deserve those nasty messages sent your way at all!

Oh, and if you feel brave enough to reupload your art to tumblr and DM me, I will gladly reblog it here. <3

[linagram]

[meet the guard!] guard 003: kuroki hinode

(this was supposed to be posted yesterday but.. i forgor...)

HE'S FINALLY HERE!!! THE THIRD GUARD!!! AND ALSO RIKU'S BIG BROTHER!! LET'S GO!!!

he gets not one but two drawings bc he's a very special little boy (and also bc i feel bad for him since he got introduced late for obvious story purposes but like.. i really need to make more content for him..)

(also fun fact: the first drawing actually was done in july and the second one just a few days ago.. i can actually see some differences in my art style hehe..)

another note is that when i started to work on hinode's character, my first thought was that i kinda wanted to create another physically disabled guard character (since i think eiji can count as the first one because kei's treatment of him had not the best impact on his body), it just sounded like a neat concept! but i also didn't want to make him.. how do i explain.. too sympathetic, maybe? too squishy? what really annoys me as someone who is physically disabled is that characters like that are often used to make people feel bad for them and don't really have any personality OR they turn out to be the bad guys who only pretended to be disabled for pity points. so instead i've tried to make hinode's problems realistic and a lot of it comes from my own experiences, but i still wanted to make him morally gray and kinda.. you know.. kinda suspicious. (you're more than allowed to joke about punching him or putting him in a blender and all that)

General info.

Name: Kuroki Hinode (黒木日出) (his last name means "black" and "tree" and his first name means "sun, day" and "exit, leave". yes, hinode's name has kanji for "day" and riku's name has kanji for "evening".. the parallels <3...)

Age: 22 y/o

Gender: Male

Status: Guard 003

Birthday: January 28 (Aquarius)

Blood type: AB

Height: 179 cm

Occupation: Unemployed

Personality: Hinode isn't as outgoing as his brother, but he still enjoys talking to others, learning more about them and just spending time with other people. However, he's used to being alone, so he won't complain if it's not possible for him to talk to anyone at the moment. It actually might be better for him, since he gets tired quite easily because of his poor health and can't be active for too long. He feels sleepy most of the time, so please don't judge him for suddenly dozing off in the middle of the conversation, even if it's very important. He's not as passionate about justice as the other guards and mostly just wants to do his own thing, not caring about morals too much, but still having enough common sense to punish those who deserve it (in his opinion). He dislikes the physical kind of punishments because he believes that they're too "basic", since pain can easily scare anyone and there's nothing special about it. It's also possible that he doesn't like them because of his own experience with chronic pain, but to be honest, Hinode is lying when he says that he doesn't like to see people in pain. Yes, he believes that pain is the worst thing that could happen to anyone, even worse than death. But also, as someone who has no choice but to spend most of his days in pain.. Maybe he does want to see the prisoners feel the same way as he does. Maybe just a little bit. He still prefers the psychological punishments, finding them more "effective" and "suitable".. mostly because he's too weak to punish anyone physically.

MV info.

His Milgram cover: Him and T1 Naomi are twinning and he'd cover Weakness! The lyrics remind me a lot of him and I think with an instrumental like that it'd be appropriate for Riku's brother to cover it.

His DECO*27 cover: Harinezumi. The lyrics remind me a lot of him in general, him trying to keep up with everyone even though his condition doesn't allow him and him feeling like a burden to others, especially his family, but also being jealous of Riku for being so popular, talented and living his best life (at least it seems so on the outside) ("I can still keep going! Jealousy, what a trifling thing", "Don't you sometimes feel a little dizzy? I'm sighing because I'm tired of my heart pounding", "People know their true forms after being broken and crushed") and also the song describes his dysfunctional relationship with Riku really well as two brothers who are both jealous of each other and who both want something the other has (Riku has friends, popularity, the time and energy to make music, meanwhile Hinode has the family's attention, others helping him and people not judging him for spending the whole day in bed) but who also still love each other and genuinely wish their life could go differently ("I'll embrace you, we won't be parted", "Don't be prickly with me, each time we touch, I throb. If I prick you, you might hate me, well, there's no way that will happen!.. At least, I think", "I'm an attention seeker! I want to be spoiled! I want to melt even more for you!") And also considering that one of them is extremely suicidal and the other one is afraid that his life won't be that long.. ("In the blink of an eye, which of us will die?")

His Non-DECO*27 cover: Waltz by Nashimoto-P. I imagine Hinode having this very soft and quiet voice that almost sounds like a whisper and I feel like it would fit the way Miku is tuned very well! Also the lyrics sound so much like him trying to cope with his condition, his relationship with Riku, other problems and slowly going insane in the process. ("Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I ask what day is it today, regrettably thinking today will be a good time", "I don't know what's fun, but as I run out of things to do, I will accompany you", "My EKG is a straight line, I wonder how many decades ago") Some lyrics, especially the chorus remind me of the way he acts as a guard too. ("Stop trying to give up, the world is connected. Dance, smile, while you're being controlled. In the beginning, in the end, the details are non-existent. Don't resist, accept it, everything is connected") Also, Riku's T3 song is supposed to be by Nashimoto-P too, so :} They're matching!

His T3 Voice Trailer Voicelines:

"Ah, greetings, prisoners. Um, I apologize for such a late introduction, haha.. My name is Kuroki Hinode and I am the third guard of this prison. Nice to meet you. Starting from today, I'll be replacing Sanada Eiji-san as he's recovering. I hope we all get along. I'm really not the best person for this job, so I apologize if I end up falling asleep in the middle of the interrogation, haha.."

".. What was I supposed to do? I can't even get out of bed right now. If he wants to be saved, then I'm not the one who he should ask for help."

Trivia:

His eyes may not look like it because of the lighting on the first picture, but his eye color is supposed to be gray, meanwhile Riku's eye color is more of a mix of light green and gray.

Hinode's natural hair color is light brown, but a few days before Riku committed his crime, Riku suggested that he dyes Hinode's hair, hoping to make him feel at least a little better. They went with the brightest colors Riku had just for fun and it really did make Hinode smile and he was happy to spend time with his brother like that. In season 2, Riku dyed his hair the same way and noticed the colors only when it was too late, so it's possible that he missed his brother and did that subconsciously. It should be noted, however, that Riku's T2 hair is light green on the left and red on the right, meanwhile Hinode's hair is light green on the right and his hair is more pink rather than red on the left. Hinode also has a double ahoge just like his little brother and same goes for their little sisters. It's something they all share :)

He started putting his hair in a bun since he arrived because he found working with his hair down uncomfortable. Miki helps him with it now.

Hinode's illnesses aren't deadly, but a lot of them are chronic and dealing with them made Hinode a little bit paranoid and he has a lot of health-related anxiety. His condition is supposed to be mostly up to interpretation, but I can say for sure that he has anemia, narcolepsy and fibromyalgia.

He's the tallest out of all the guards (and that also makes Eiji the shortest). He's also the oldest one.

It's hard for him to walk because of how tired he feels most of the time, so he asked Miki if it's okay to hold her hand when they walk together. After a lot of internal screaming because of Hinode being so cute, Miki agreed. 

His room has everything he needs and he can see the whole prison on multiple screens, watch the interrogation recordings, adjust the brightness of the screens and the room temperature and whoever kidnapped him also somehow learned about all the medications he has to take. He was creeped out by first, but then went "Oh, it's kinda nice actually :)"

Speaking of him arriving to Milgram, he was kidnapped while he was asleep. So before Jackalope brought him his guard uniform, Hinode spent all his time wearing pajamas. He still thinks they're more comfortable than his uniform. (another fun fact is that the first "concept art" of him had him in his pajamas sjskkssl)

He's probably the best character to ask for medical help at the moment, since he does know a lot about things like that, but whether he's able to actually help someone depends on how he's feeling at the moment and what his relationship with that person is like. 

Hinode actually used to play the guitar before his health started to get worse and after he realized he doesn't have the energy to play anymore, he gave it to Riku. Riku still uses his brother's guitar and not counting the ones he got in Milgram, he refuses to get a new one. It also has a bunch of silly drawings on it made by Riku himself, Hinode and their little sisters. 

[harmcityherald]

Some I've unfollowed I'm actually sad about sometimes.

3 just today too. Its like no ooo ooo plz don't do that. Well shit. I mean there's been plenty of times when it was me that needed blocked or unfollowed. I been thru some stuff past few years and the me from 2017 is different from who I am today. And in the coming years, yes I said years, I will no doubt change again as I navigate this end of life curse to its destination. So sometimes I know am willing to overlook some things that people do on here. I've done my own share of acting out online. we have to leave space for people to evolve and to grow. I try to avoid snap judgements because I certainly know how they feel. I also know how it feels to be buried in a drug induced haze with my body being carved up left and right and to lash out. Those are things I learned right here on tumblr. com. throwing cops off cliffs and stuff. Yeah I was royally stoned and sick and just plain angry. I have indeed bubbled over at times. So I try to be understanding of others when it happens to them. Then there are just things you can't overstep. Or maybe I can't have the nazis and the guns and the ski masks and the maga horseshit and the hostility on my own dash for my own mental health. But I don't need to explain that to anyone. I know what's in my heart. I'm on here just like all of us. Yes I have a fb. But I hardly post there because the same reason we all don't. Listen, I have 300+ friends over there. Guess how many have posted about Palestine? 2. 2 out of 300+. Why? Fear. Just like everything now. I've always been able to be honest here. I'm going to always continue that. but please let's do our best to not let Tumblr go the way of FB and Twitter and the climate of fear. Fear is a fascist tool. We have to be better.

Another thing about me. I just can not scroll past if I see someone in distress. Again, I know too well how that feels. To feel so alone and want to die and reaching out and what? No one answers? As if I didn't read it? So yes maybe I follow you because of art or music or other interest, I have so many, and I will pop in and talk to you. Why? Because you asked me to. You think you didn't but you were reaching. And I will take your hand, and that's anybody. I don't do that shit for cred or whatever trust me there is no fucking amount of cred in this world to make me shine and I could care less. I am talky. I will even drop in and comment and you say who the fuck is this how dare he talk to me. That's ok too. Indignation is actually a sign of strength. But be aware whatever reason you may be formulating in your own mind of my reasoning may not be at all what is driving me in reality. This is why I call myself smeagol. But if that's what I am I would be happy to be fucking Gollum if it might steer one fucking soul back from the edge of the pit. So I'm ok with that. Ima fucking smeagol on. Deal or block I get tired of fucking saying it.

Yes I am an old fucked up man polluting the sewer in which we find ourselves swimming. Maybe at some point I rubbed you the wrong way. That's life. It is what it fucking is. I daresay there are few who present an honest front like me and I certainly do not advocate it. But that's me. So take it or leave it. I can't pretend to be anyone else than who I am. Not anymore. I spent my whole life pretending. Performing. I no longer have any desire whatsoever for pretense.

Writing a book of my life how many pages on which do you think I will be the asshole? The villain? Do you think I will paint a rosy picture of me? The whole point of writing that is to express how far I have come. I'm still going. Its not over. But even I'm aghast sometimes when I think of how far I have come.

Yesterday my daughter asked me how old I feel inside. She's at that point where you are like am I adulting correctly? Shouldn't I feel mature and old. I told her no. I still feel the same as I did at 17. Sure my body is broke. I struggle to walk. Sometimes I struggle just to sit. Truly Tumblr has helped me thru as my hours of reblogging show, the mind seeks to escape pain and the boredom that comes. But my mind inside is still me. I'm alive in here. You will know too someday, what its like to watch children play and your soul runs after them because the body no longer can. Tonite I said to artemesia, as we went outside in the weird stillness after the rain, this is what its all about. Almost 60 but here we are marveling at the sky at 2:30am after watching a horror movie and cooking grilled cheese. Shhh don't wake the kids. We are the kids.

So there I go again trying to explain myself when i really I don't have to. And I will still be commenting when I really don't have to. I will extend myself to you when I don't really have to. And maybe those are things we all need to work on, even though we really don't have to.

Because sometimes its just good to do those things.

Anyway. Not that I'm spouting in any particular direction. And I will figure this read more setting so you don't need to see. Its my page. My life. My vent. My angst my things and my life. Just thoughts about life that's been turning over in my brain. The overthinking machine that it is.

[sexwithamanda]

Maybe it's okay not to know.

Hello, this is my first post on this new blog, it might be for myself, but someone might come across it and think the same as I do.

I recently have found myself entirely enveloped in the idea of putting effort into people, places, and things that matter more to me than others. I know that we all struggle to find our purpose in this world and have people in our lives who shape us into who we are.

We take bits and pieces of those people that matter to us and we run with all the great parts hopefully. And try to leave the bad parts away.

Here I am to say particularly, that I don't know exactly who I am, I am consistently changing into a better version of who I was yesterday. Living in the moment, and the craziest way possible is the dream I want. To be alive willfully, entirely, in my own element.

It's okay if right now you may be feeling overwhelmed. It happens, and it is the part of us that holds our hearts down in the most imperfect way. It lets us know that what we are doing is a risk, but it is a risk worth taking. I have spent so much time trying to please the needs of others, trying to uphold the love and thought of others' opinions. To remind me at the end of the day the only thing that matters is my own happiness.

So is it okay to not know? Yes. Is it fine to just be in one route for a very long time? Yes. Is it okay to be a maybe right now or forever? Yes.

I am no expert on the willingness to change, but it needs to be natural, organic, and kind in the ways that forgo being an experience worthy of remembering.

My favorite form of art is writing, words have the power to be spoken in speeches that change the minds of millions of words written in books that change the outlook of things we had thought to be wrong or right. I think one way of art that gets swept past is the beauty that is within drawing art, and it helps me transition into telling you that I got a tattoo that is a one-of-a-kind design from one of my friends. He is talented, and literally one of the kindest people I've ever met. The design is a dagger with a snake wrapped around it with flowers surrounding it. I originally wanted the tattoo only because I thought it would look cool, which in term is a reason in itself but now as I look at it more. I think the reason why I am so attached to this piece of art is that, although the dagger is seemingly to be dangerous, it represents my heart. The snake is wrapped around it trying to protect it so it doesn't attack. When I look at the flowers I can see now that it represents all of the love and softness I possess as a person. I love this tattoo, and once I showed it to my mother, she screamed at me on the phone for 30 minutes. Told me that I was ruining my skin, making it dirty. I told her that she did not need to agree with it, but accept that I loved it, and be happy for me. She couldn't handle it, her narcissism was showing. She said that my life was a direct representation of them as people. No. I am my own person.

She then proceeds to block me on Facebook, and then on her phone immediately after. This is maybe the 3rd time this has happened within the last 3 years. I don't feel anything initially. I feel like de ja vu.

I've seen this narrative before, how she is upset for a while, could be a year, maybe a couple months. Where she needs space to process how my life has no correlation to hers.

I think the reason why I need to constantly remind myself that it is okay to not know. It is because I grew up in a household where love is conditional. My good grades and my good behavior are what gave me the love that I deserved all along. When I deserved it unconditionally.

When it was good it was good, when I wanted something, or did something that was deemed bad I would get into trouble, have love ripped from me, and have verbal abuse instead of understanding.

And she would temporarily pretend to be a "good, understanding" parent as I grew older. And then the cycle continues and that's why I said the energy I have for this feud she has with made-up rules that she deems to be of value. When in reality I am no longer a kid, it's weird seeing other people's parents.

Some parents are normal, and allow their children to be who they are.

Here I am being who I am, with no apologies. It's okay to not know.

This is just a lil reminder to myself, to you, that your life is more important than you know. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy.

Mahal Kita,

Amanda <3

[fakeloveaskblog]

(Hi, me again. Hats off to you Lukas for your incredible writing skills. I felt so happy for Remus when he was getting excited about T.)

Okay then, London it is! Let me know when you’re ready and we’ll be off.

Glow Eyes

(Aww thanks mdude C:)

After all of them had slept over at Remus' place Logan had been designated as head breakfast chef while Janus sat on a chair and handed him utensils every now and again. Remy was busy putting up post it notes reminding them and Remus to take their hormones every day next to the post it notes reminding them to take their meds. They had a giddy smile on their lips the entire time they were doing it.

Right when Logan was finishing an omelette Remus tried to casually walk into the room as if he didn't look like he'd put immense effort into looking as cool as possible.

"Oh girl you going to audition to be a reject emo band member" Remy asked sarcastically.

"Quite impressive how you have managed to own so many clothes with different clashing shades of green" Janus snarked in.

Remy leant closer to their friend and jokingly sniffed as loudly as possible next to his hair "Is that the smell left from a fucking curling iron? You already got the hair of jesus if he just kept being jewish. Girlie you aint gotta curl it more"

"Maybe I just wanted to feel a bit extra pretty" He pouted while crossing his arms.

Logan sat down by the table and said "Ah yes the classic burst of confidence after starting hormones"

"Truuuue girl. I have ben like tooots feeling my oats today"

Janus placed their hand next to Remus to whisper "You do look genuinely good by the way. We're just joking"

"I know"

After Remy had finished half a meal they pretended to gag a little "Starting to feel a bit nauseous. Is it like okay if I take he rest of the zanny to keep the withdrawl away?"

"The rest of the one you took yesterday?" Janus replied.

"Yeah"

"Just tell someone if you start feeling lightheaded"

"'Course"

Remy left the table and Remus waited a few minutes before excusing himself. He knocked lightly on the bathroom door and the door opened for him to see his friend rinse the remains of the zanny from the sink.

"Sooo" Remus leant against the doorframe to try and look suave "Since Jannie and Log is going on a day trip I was just wondering if you also wanted to do something today?"

"As long as it doesn't involve mud wrestling I'm like in" Remy replied with a smile.

"Cool. Cool" He blushed lightly "There's this art exhibition I've been wanting to check out if you wanna come along"

"Wouldn't wanna miss out on hearing my best girlie talk about some art shit I got no idea about" They jokingly cupped his cheeks before bopping his nose which made him giggle.

When they got back to the table Logan and Janus were practicing their british accents to each other while Lo was braiding his partner's locs into a braid. Jan's was surprisingly good only because they were doing their best impression of a posh british villain. Logan had somehow got so turned around he sounded italian if anything.

Janus put their favorite beanie on to finish of their look and Logan kissed them on the tip of their nose to make them smile.

"Hello ghost? We are ready to go to London"

"Let's hope that London is ready for US! Muhahahah!"

(You can write a cool teleportation description if you got any idea for how the ghosts do that. otherwise you can just make the remus remy date start C:)

[lyrebright]

Got through a good chunk of TMA episodes yesterday while at work but didn't really have an opportunity to share my thoughts on them as they came because while my job is conducive to listening to podcasts while I work, it is adamantly not conducive to posting on Tumblr while doing so.

Got through...I think MAG014 to MAG026? So. Thoughts on that block of episodes below!

still not super fond of MAG014 now that I've like actually finished it but I will say that the spooky methodology was Fucking Metal. Getting mailed your body parts before you lose them? High concept art.

MAG015 was probably low-key one of my like...favourite "closed" statements? Since it's clear now that a decent chunk are connected...I don't think this one is (I am prepared to eat my words) but it WAS very visceral, to me. As someone who had to leave a mine tour once from having a panic attack at being in the dark and small underground, this one Got To Me.

My initial reaction to MAG016 was holy shit. Man does not like spiders. And that was about it. Knowing some more things retroactively has made me like. See it from a different angle but I still think my overall takeaway is Man Does Not Like Spiders!

MAG017 was a case of me being Fucking Confused.

I had to check the transcripts WHILE ON THE CLOCK just to make things make sense.

Why The FUCK are they pronouncing Jared and Gerard exactly the same way.

MAG017 was clearly a fucked up books episode! So when I heard the name Jehred, which is apparently how both Gerard and Jared are just Pronounced Across The Pond, I was like oh! Gerard is here! Fucked up books are his thing! But then it was a Jared and I was lost.

Anyway! Good episode I liked it. I think I like the fucked up book episodes. Still would love to know why they get Jon so heated when he is such an asshole about being a skeptic. I can only imagine he has a fucked up book backstory.

Maybe a fucked up book ate his dog?

MAG018: meat

this one made me queasy I didn't like it

MAG019/020! Wasn't expecting a two parter but I definitely liked what we got. It feeding back into a previous statement was really cool and the actual story itself was gripping. Did have me fairly tense though because of the religious stuff mostly I think? I Don't Like Fucking With Demons.

Everytime I went in to do another coat on the room I'd been painting while listening to those episodes I just kept thinking about demons so those are just bad vibes rooms now.

BUT ALSO I called it I KNEW those delivery guys would be coming back into it somewhere. I know worldbuilding when I see it.

Speaking of: I think I'm just deep enough in now to start getting a grasp on the world building of TMA. Like, in a general sense; that one church has been mentioned a few times, something something the lightless flame, that one house on. A hill. Recurring elements are showing. I See Them. I Am Noting Them Down.

I Am Petrified Of Heights. MAG021 Is A No Thank You.

MAG022 MADE ME :D!!!!!!

Another live statement! But this time it is Martin who I am glad to finally properly meet. He seems so sweet Jon why are you so mean to him.

Did Martin kill Jon's dog?

Poor Martin though oh my god

I still feel like I'm missing something re: Jane Prentiss because they're acting like I should know who she is but I SWEAR she didn't pop up before the uh, worm sex statement so I have simply resigned myself to bafflement.

Clearly we're ramping up the plot that exists outside of the statements and I am so excited. Poor Martin though for real. Get some therapy.

Jon gets one (1) point for letting Martin stay in the archives at the end.

(Also: there is something both really funny and really scary about the worm hive lady just. Using Martin's phone to pretend to be him so people didn't like. Call a wellness check or something)

MAG023 Was An Old Timey Episode And That's Literally All I Have To Say About It.

MAG024: I Do Not Like Clowns. Or Dolls. Or Puppets.

Fuck Everything To Do With This Episode, Basically.

Except for Jon and Sasha♡

Jon and Sasha: arguing over the correct pronunciation of calliope. Me, a vtuber fan: (filled with knowledge)

MAG025 was just an exercise in me staring at the skirting I was painting and going But How Are You Not Immediately Cluing In That She Joined A Cult.

This cult has shown up a few times now I think? At least once before, I remember the mention of the closed eye symbol. I'll be keeping an, uh, eye out for more mentions in the future.

MAG026 was where I knocked off for the day and man. Very good. I loved it.

Another Michael?? I SWEAR that I've heard of at least two other Mikes already

I guess I did go to highschool with like eight Sarahs, though.

A Sasha statement! I love her.

I've now "met" both Martin and Sasha. When Do I Get Tim.

Jon is SO much nicer to Sasha than he is to Martin so I can only presume he and Martin do have some sort of torrid past. I'm choosing to believe a primary school Jon slipped Martin a note saying "do you like me" that Martin then promptly threw away because it's the absolutely funniest option.

Sasha Sweetie Your Sense Of Self Preservation Is Fucked.

You do have the gumption of a horror movie final girl though and I admire that.

I can feel the plot building up around me and I am so excited for the final worm showdown, whenever it hits.

Torn between taking a break for a few days and just charging on ahead because I'm so curious as to what happens next, lmao.

[frogsandfries]

So I'm in the shower

Yes, we begin this tale with tmi.

Anyway, one of my favorite songs by what has to be one of my top favorite artists comes on. Yes, I am a total loser for Starcadian. And lately, since my partner ex came out and I wasn't able to accept that as well as maybe I should have (I'm only human, and my ex was......a rather nasty person before the hormones), I've been really feeling their track Binary Stars.

In case you don't want to Google it, the chorus lyrics are literally:

"I ripped a hole through your heart

Sucked all the love through the scar

Now we are binary stars"

I interpret the rest of the song to be about their feelings over hurting their lover this badly. Kind of like my ex did to me, over and over, while letting me believe that the only one who was harming or damaging anyone else, was me.

Hell, I'm not pretending my refusal to just 💞a✨️ c🌟 c 🎉e🌟 p✨️ t💞 the New Them!!™️ might not have hurt someone who really thought they loved me, and again, may truly have, in their own fucked up way. But when it turned into them pretending to be a whole new person while just being the same rather rubbish old them while desperately insisting there was a new sticker on it.........I definitely lost faith.

Anyway, this song absolutely had me cracking up in the shower in a way that it had no right to, because....... that was our relationship: Keeping me locked to her side while she essentially fed on me, everything that I contributed throughout the relationship--shelter, companionship, money. And then leaving me in less great condition than she found me.

Of course, I get out of the shower and five seconds later, I'm laughing over this gem "somebody" left me on my vent post from yesterday:

That post didn't say anything about my art, but okay lmbo

[scrublord-papyrus]

NYEH HEH HEH...

[sweeethinny]

she was not expecting that - in a good way

So ... Yesterday @blvnk-art posted a drawing on her N$FW account, and it inspired me to write this one shot, completely dirty, no plot, just because I did not get out of my head (today I saw that she posted something about that he wasnt until the end, as I wrote in my fanfic, but I decided to post even so ahaha

AO3

-----------

Harry and Ginny were at an event, one of those where neither of them really wanted to be but were forced to go, and now they were counting down the minutes to get home.

Ginny was concentrating on the gossip the woman at the next table was telling her friend about Robert, a guy who worked with Ginny, who was cheating on his wife with his best friend.

Harry was trying to find a way to get his hand under Ginny's dress without anyone seeing it, just to tease her, forcing her to be silent as he worked his fingers into her. She'd teased him before they'd left the house, walking in front of him in that tight blue dress, making Harry bitterly regret having promised to go to that event.

She was wearing heels, which was a weakness for him. Harry wasn't too comfortable admitting that it turned him on, because it sounded kind of weird that he wanted to fuck his wife every time she wore high heels. But it was something he liked, and Ginny had already noticed that - never talked about it, though, even if they did talk about a lot of things they liked and didn't like.

His slight exhibitionism fetish was one of the points they had already discussed.

Harry wasn't fucking Ginny in front of a crowd, or anyone else, but the heat burning in him at the thought of making her come without anyone noticing was otherworldly.

And she liked it too, it was she who had incited it in him when they were still young, early in their post-war relationship, when Ginny had dared him to make her come without anyone in the Burrow knowing - and he couldn't use magic to muffle the noises.

Adrenaline excited them both, what could they do?

When he assured that everything was safe, he moved the hand that was resting on her thigh, inside her dress, slowly and always keeping his face as calm as possible, even as his balls ached with excitement. He'd been thinking about it for over ten minutes, it was torture that he hadn't just dragged her to the bathroom.

Ginny startled, but didn't say anything, just closing her eyes as he touched her panties and slowly pushed them away, already more than used to making sneaky movements that didn't let anyone know what he was doing. When he touched her clit, Ginny let out a moan, it wasn't absurdly loud in a way that everyone would find out, but it was louder than she could possibly do in that situation, so, just pretending to talk to her like it was any other comment, Harry muttered; ''Too loud,''

She took a sip of her wine, clearly not paying attention to anything other than the bubble he'd created around them, where his fingers danced in that long-known rhythm on her clit as he felt her clench her thighs and drink her wine like water in the desert.

Harry kept quiet, concentrating only on making his wife come there, in the middle of everyone, hoping that no one would come to interrupt them, because it would be too difficult to hide the wet fingers and the red that had taken over Ginny's cheeks and neck.

"Fuck," she whispered, laying her head on his shoulder as she had done several times that night, watching Robin say something in that boring, tiresome speech of his on stage. Her hand tightened on his thigh, probably to keep from moaning when Harry managed to penetrate her with his finger.

There were many years of experience in this, of course, they didn't do that all the time, but every now and then he needed to test his mobility, moving his wrist and fingers in ways he wouldn't normally do, given their position or location.

''I've been thinking about it for so long,'' he whispered to her, kissing his wife's hair as if it were just another show of affection. ''I can't wait for us to get home to fuck you,''

Harry wasn't much of a talker, Ginny had always made it clear that it didn't bother her at all, but sometimes he tried to put into words the fantasies he had, and after twenty years of marriage, he had started to get a little more experienced in how say it without being embarrassed or thinking that she would think he was crazy.

''What did you said before we left? That you wanted to tease me until my head exploded and I fuck you against the living room window?'' Ginny clenched her thighs again, this time her inner walls trapping his finger. Harry added one more, shifting in his chair so he could still touch her clit, but when that wasn't possible, he took his fingers from inside her, listening with immense pleasure as Ginny sighed in disgust. When he touched her clit, she laid her head down again, squeezing his thigh.

''I want to fuck you there, where anyone can see it,'' It wasn't possible, their house was protected so that you could never see what was inside the rooms through the window from the outside, if anyone passed by, they would see nothing but their own reflection, no matter how much light there was. But it didn't matter, because they knew it, but the idea was exciting. ''I want to fuck you until our brains explode,''

''Ah...'' Ginny covered her groan, looking up at him with a lust-filled gaze. ''Is because what I said earlier?''

''That we used to fuck out brains out?'' Harry arched a brow, amused to see her try to hide the pleasure. ''Yea. I told you I didn't like how you said 'used to'.''

No one said anything else, not only because he was totally focused on making her come, but because there was nothing more to say, Ginny might try to tease him back, as she did at home, but Harry - and she - knew that if she opened her mouth, everyone would know what he was doing.

Ginny was noisy.

It didn't take long for the grip on his thigh to tighten, her nails digging into his flesh almost painfully, her thighs pressing his hand even closer to her clit as Ginny tried for all that was most sacred not to show that she was coming. Her body trembling slightly and her face buried in the crook of Harry's neck, as if she was just resting there.

He was proud of himself. There were few things that Harry wasn't modest he was good at, and making his wife come with his fingers and/or mouth was one of those things.

''You're such a good girl,'' He smiled, slowly pulling his fingers away, trying not to show everyone what he'd just done.

''You'd better find an excuse for us to leave,'' Her husky voice made Harry shiver and thank Merlin for the robes he wore, always glad that wizards weren't adept at muggle-style pants.

''I'm doing this in five minutes. Unfortunately, Luna has a fever and James has disappeared with his girlfriend,'' Harry shrugged. ''What can I do if don't take us back home?'' Ginny laughed, still with her head on his shoulder, her hand on his thigh came up to his cock and she gave him a light squeeze.

''Yes, do it, your wife needs to be fucked against the window until she loses her mind.''

[onlyforthebabes]

✨HL playlists by onlyforthebabes✨

(Edited to include 🎵when you know you know (HL6), 🎵close enough to touch (HL11), 🎵burnt romances (HL13), and 🎵too far gone (HL18))

This post is long overdue, but I've finally made a master list of all the HL playlists I've published here. They're listed in the order I created them, so there are some gaps in the numbers where I haven't posted (or maybe even finished) some, but I'll update if I ever publish more! I've put a lot of thought and time and love into these playlists, so I really hope y'all find something to enjoy here.

✨🎶

🎵a truth so loud

HL. The OG. A canon inspired playlist based on some of the most iconic H/L songs. (ft. 1D, Troye Sivan, Ed Sheeran, Lorde)

🎵honey (make this easy)

HL2. There’s no denying the chemistry between them from the moment they meet - so they don’t even try. While discretely hooking up with a fellow X Factor hopeful sounds like just another part of the fun, it’s hard to ignore that this thing between them is way more than physical, and “X Factor hopefuls” has become wholly inadequate to describe where they’re going. But in the midst of all the chaos, it’s hard to resist something this good. (ft. 1D, Hozier, Lizzo, Carly Rae Jepson)

🎵no matter how sweet, no matter how brave

HL3. New fame, new friends, new feelings. Jealousy gives way to mutual infatuation, which evolves into steadfast love. Growing up too fast doesn’t feel so scary when you’ve got someone to hold onto. (ft. 1D, Fleetwood Mac, Niall Horan, The Head and the Heart)

🎵Entirely

HLFOUR. Coming soon. (ft. 1D, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson)

🎵when you know you know

HL6. It's all about that one person... (ft. 1D, Maria Mena, Yellowcard, Beyoncé)

🎵one foot in sea and one on shore

HL10. A traveling sailor whose sense of home is the familiar warmth of local bars, a charming bartender in a seaside village, and a brief affair that leaves them both longing for a life far from everything they know. (ft. Regina Spektor, Bright Eyes, Feist, The Format)

🎵close enough to touch

HL11. Love can be frightening, for sure. (girl!direction) (ft. 1D, Louis Tomlinson, Hozier, Jake Scott)

🎵sunset couldn't save me now

HL12. Part-time suburban youth, summertime neighbors growing up together and blurring the lines of love and friendship; chasing dreams, traveling the world, and figuring out that sometimes home is a person. (ft. Sufjan Stevens, Vampire Weekend, Regina Spektor, Neutral Milk Hotel)

🎵burnt romances

HL13. A canon-compliant au where everything goes wrong, but love finds a way. (ft. The Weepies, Lewis Capaldi, Bleachers, The Head and the Heart)

🎵fell in love with the fire

HL14. Harry's long since accepted that fame comes with a closet. But a chance encounter with a friend from a past life may change everything (or, an au about identity, fame, missed connections, and giving love a chance) (ft. Florence and the Machine, Maren Morris, St. Vincent, Sam Smith)

🎵trip and i fall in

HL15. Undeniable chemistry turns a spontaneous hookup into fast friendship (with some pretty nice benefits). They know from the start it’s not exclusive, but that doesn’t stop anyone from catching feelings. (ft. Zayn, Ariana Grande, Brockhampton, Selena Gomez)

🎵learning to breathe

HL16. Harry and Louis have always been best friends, even within their close-knit group. Closeted, small town kids with little experience, an innocent first kiss turns into an agreement: to experimentally "date" in secret until high school ends. When it’s time to move on, they do. But as the years pass, they can never quite figure out how to let go. (ft. Maisie Peters, Julia Michaels, Lana del Rey, Lauv)

🎵too far gone

HL18. Love, illness, religion, and fear. A kiss between friends on a quiet winter's day changes everything. (ft. Sufjan Stevens, Brand New, Haley Heynderickx, Phoebe Bridgers)

🎵if i'm butter...

HL19. Louis’ an art student who spends his days wandering the city in search of inspiration while his hot-but-elusive craigslist roommate works ungodly hours as a baker. When the pandemic hits and the two near strangers are suddenly quarantined together, they find themselves growing closer in more ways than one. (ft. Relient K, BENEE, Fiona Apple, Samsa)

🎵pretend it isn't strange

HL20. A hopeless wanderer, lost and disillusioned with life, finds himself taken in by a small mountainside community: a friendly local band, a safe place to rest his head, and a stranger who makes it feel like home. Together they learn to let love grow. (ft. Wild Rivers, Ben Howard, Town Meeting, Birdtalker )

🎵yesterday (when you were young)

HL21. Coming soon (ft. Jon Bellion, AJR, Raleigh Ritchie, fun.)

🎵coming up lavender

HL22. New friends who feel like old ones, long drives home up the coast, and finding love in every color. Or, a girl!direction college road trip au (ft. Gretta Ray, dodie, Ingrid Michaelson, Mitski)

🎵it is what it is (till it ain't anymore)

HL23. An impending marriage, a secret affair, and either fate or bad timing. Harry and Louis fall in love one summer in rural Georgia. Years later, they meet again. (ft. Shania Twain, Kacey Musgraves, Gregory Alan Isakov, Andrew Bird)

And lastly, the playlists I've made based on other peoples' stories:

nothing but you on my mind 🎶for Nothing But You On My Mind by @absoloutenonsense

Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again. (ft. dodie, Julia Michaels, Dermot Kennedy, Lewis Capaldi)

little by little 🎶for Little by Little by @absoloutenonsense

Harry Styles is an omega who works at the London Planetarium, has lived in the same flat for ages, and is happy enough on his own. When he gets home from his first (horrible) attempt at dating in years, a new pregnant neighbor knocks on his door after smelling his cooking. He and Louis quickly become close, but their friendship gets complicated when Harry begins questioning who he is and what he likes. Or Harry discovers figuring out who you are is more complicated than a potato metaphor. (ft. Jordy Searcy, Bruno Major, Lizzy McAlpine, Sleeping at Last)

love after the end of the world 🎶for Love After the End of the World by @mercurial-madhouse

When staying alive is already a constant battle, the deadliest weakness is to be in love. For Harry and Louis, finding each other sits on top of the endless list of What Else Could Go Wrong. (ft. Bastille, Hozier, Fall Out Boy, Lorde)

[stilljustbitten]

😂 🗑 😭 🏅 ✏️ 💕

What’s the funniest comment someone has left on a fic of yours?

All I can think of is the one about Andrés having a big d*ck, I don't even remember which fic it was for, maybe When We Collide? Anyway, I mentioned something about Andrés not being small down there, and apparently, another writer did the same recently, and one of my precious readers said we started a "trend" <3

What is one fic idea that you loved at first but then scrapped?

I once had this WIP with the working title Asshole Andrés, and I think it's the only fic I ever really scrapped. The idea was Andrés being all touchy around Martín when he got drunk and pretending nothing happened when he was sober. The scenes in my head (and my Docs) were super hot, but the idea of Andrés doing that to Martín just- didn't fit. I did post one of the chapters as a one-shot.

(I still love the idea I had for the end of that fic: Martín getting drunk with some of the other gang members, suddenly going really quiet, just staring out at the sea. Someone calls Andrés and asks him to come get Martín because something's clearly wrong with him - and Andrés has this whole realization that shit, he might have broken him. Anyway, it's more of a vibe, but yeah.)

Have you ever made yourself cry writing a fic?

Yes (of course, haha, you know I'm emotional). I cried when I wrote the ending of If you can't fix it, you gotta stand it (my Brokeback fic). And I'm going to cry again soon when I finish one of my WIP's. I'm already crying just thinking about it.

What is the fic you’re most proud of?

I have a few fics I'm proud of having posted because I decided to stop worrying about what people were thinking (my kink fic, just to mention one). But otherwise, I'm really fucking proud of my newly posted How I wonder what you are - I think it's a well-written fic, it made me feel a lot of stuff, and also because it's been in my Google Docs since February where I abandoned it, then I rewrote it during the summer and finally posted it.

What is your fave fic from another writer?

This isn't a fair question...

I'm not going to answer that, because there are so many great fics out there - some I love because of the tension, some made me emotional, some were just super hot, and it's impossible to remember all of them.

But I'll mention two fics that hold a very special place in my heart.

Let's Make Art by @dormarunt - I can't explain why, it's super hot, obviously, but there's something else to it. I was literally obsessed, and it's the fic that finally made me start talking to Dee <3 My long, annoying comments on that fic led to my very first Berlermo friendship.

Just Pee by @the--sound--of--rain - because she's fucking brave for even posting it, and it's like nothing I've ever read in this fandom. It made me super emotional. Plus she inspired me to stop worrying and just write what I want to write.

What is the WIP that you are most excited about?

I'm super excited about my Martín/OC fic - because I made an OC, I love him, and I had no idea I was even able to do that? I'll be heartbroken when it ends, I'm not at all ready to let go of my boy.

Right now I'm excited about my Secret Santa fic because I got an interesting prompt, I've let it develop inside my head since November 23 and when I finally sat down and started writing it yesterday, I poured out 4,000 words just like that. I love writing it, and hope the person I'm writing for will love reading it.

Other than that, I've started having feelings about my Martín & Marseille fic again after watching the last part of La Casa de Papel, so maybe that will be my next project.

[tbartss]

Hm, let me think of some weird and dumb questions :D

1. Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and thought you overslept (because I totally didn't run around the house screaming at my mom because I was "late for school" at 2 am a few years ago)

2. Do you have any pets? If you do - pls semd pics 👉👈🥺- if you don't then post pics of your favorite animal/an animal you think is cute :)

3. What was your first actual fandom?

4. On that note: what was your teenage cringe-fandom? (mine were One Direction and Let's Play YouTubers)

5. Which place would you love to travel to and why?

6. What's your favorite *aesthetic*

I hope I was able to entertain you a bit *sends hugs*

Oh one last question: which fandoms are you in? Because I sent you the anon yesterday, about me not remembering what I started following you for, and I'd like to know 😂💕

AW YAY WEIRD AND DUMB QUESTIONS HERE WE GOOOO

1. Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and thought you overslept (because I totally didn't run around the house screaming at my mom because I was "late for school" at 2 am a few years ago)

HAHAHAHA THATS AMAZING I LOVE THAT!!! I have definitely done that but not to the degree that I scream at my parents in the middle of the night lmao I HAVE had fever dreams about our country being invaded and woken my father up saying “they’re on the border. They’re invading!!!” So,,, uh almost haha

2. Do you have any pets? If you do - pls semd pics 👉👈🥺- if you don't then post pics of your favorite animal/an animal you think is cute :)

Tragically I have never had any pets myself😔✊🏽 I have albums of my friends pets tho so i just pretend they’re mine :’)) FAV ANIMAL HERE WE GO (this is also my header TvT)

3. What was your first actual fandom?

Oh, god, I've been dreading this question because if literally anyone teases me for it I will literally die but fuck it let's bare our soul,,,, my first real fandom was the Justin Bieber fandom that I joined back when I was 12-13 THERE I SAID IT

4. On that note: what was your teenage cringe-fandom? (mine were One Direction and Let's Play YouTubers)

oh wait we weren't counting teenage fandoms in the last question? lmao

5. Which place would you love to travel to and why?

Oh, I would absolutely loooove to travel to east asia somehwere, like be it China, Thailand, Korea, India wherever I wanna see it ALL!!

6. What's your favorite *aesthetic*

oof I have like a whole pinterest board for this ToT the best way i can describe it is somewhere between lots of plants overtaking statues, art aesthetic and pastel y2k fashion :'))

Oh one last question: which fandoms are you in? Because I sent you the anon yesterday, about me not remembering what I started following you for, and I'd like to know 😂💕

jsjdjdd OH HEY!!!!! that ask lives in my mind rent free ajdhdd but yes, idk if I'm actually *in* any fandoms as such, since I'm not really sure what constitutes being in a fandom hahah, but if we say it like, which fandom have i gotten the most friends out of, it would be voltron and the legend of zelda :')) but that's also the ones i gained most traction from so idk ajdjdhh I'm in many otherwise

[sweetcinnamonmaplesyrup]

Ok so I feel bad for bombarding you with fan art b UT LOOK I LOVE THEM?? AND I SAID I'D DRAW HANA AND BABY SO HERE WE GO 😤😤 THE HOLY TRINITY + SOME CLOSE UPS!!

Ngl, these were comfort doodles for me ._. yesterday and today weren't my best days, and I managed to dig up the early(?) sketches of KOS, I also couldn't focus enough to do school work, so I decided to take a step back and have a day break to recover from everything :")) I'm going to be drowning in work, but hey! Also-- ah, I love how Hana and Baby came out because honestly I don't usually draw the body shape he has typically, nor do I draw dragons. Because while I love dragons, I cannot draw them for the life of me, and I am too much of a coward to branch out with body types (though drawing Hana has made me realise I'm seriously missing out lol definitely going to try branching out more after this). But!! They turned out better than expected, yay!! :")) (Let's pretend I'm consistent with how I draw these b E A NS-)

I definitely feel better after drawing these three! Seriously, while I wasn't feeling 100%, I kept thinking about @crabbng's story and these boys (as well as all of their other content because it is splendid), how they all made me feel giddy, intrigued to uncover more of the plot/the characters themselves, and it managed to bring a smile to my face.

I know that it's probably a little overdue (or maybe too soon-), but I just wanted to take a moment to sincerely thank Jacki for all the hard work and effort they've put in to make these stories possible and accessible for those to read. To capture the hearts and attentions of people is such a beautiful and amazing skill to acquire, one that I admire so much! You've definitely become one of my inspirations in the short time I've known you, I just--- aH! Your stories are so captivating and charming in their own right, from the plot, to the interactions of characters and their characterisations, to your expressive arts style! There's just something about your style that is sweet to me, I don't know. Probably just the aesthetic of it, ahaha! It's super pretty, please only improve with it 💕💕 I swear I get so excited whenever I get a notification from you, whenever I learn something new about your stories or just hear what you have to think about what others have posted (you made my absolute day when I found out you reblogged the fan art I did for you earlier-- I was energetic throughout the whole day lol). You've put so much care into the story you're putting out here and it shows!! I'm happy that I decided to jump on your Tumblr to read the originals at the time I did, rather than putting it off for another ten weeks or so lol u g h, you are just a precious inspiration who should continue to do what you love, seriouslyyy! You're too good with your talent and I just--- hgphnfkfnelakdpgpwlwlflgpfffffff- I love your works and you :")) thank you for existing, and sharing these stories, as well as spreading happiness 💕 now I'll stop bothering you, please go support them (@crabbng, double tag because this is a lengthy post lol)!!! I won't shut up until you do!! They deserve it!! >:0000