#so many of these dogs are doing so much and arent even aware of it? thats beautiful man

[dustyforeskin]

"the universe is cruel and uncaring" cool story bro, go watch a documentary about the resilience of humans and animals and watch your heart grow three times its size

[lilacstro]

i have met a few amazing professional astrologers until now, here's what I have seen and learnt (life tips edition)

hey, its been a while since I posted anything :) a lil diff from my prev posts, this post is an observation series from the astrologers I have met. All of them, were absolutely wonderful and powerful having years of practice, some of them even having connections to influential people. My family had several connections to them because of my mother and grandmother, and basically where I am from. I am telling most generic things I have learnt while talking to them so anyone can use them as they please :)

1.If you want to succeed with education, learning, passing some important exam and things like that, strengthen your mercury. One of the simple things you can do is, feed green to birds and animals or water plants. Could even be learning a new language

2. Always keep your hands, and heels moisturized. It helps for a good venus.

3. If you are someone who likes wearing black all the time, I would suggest adding some light coloured clothes to your wardrobe. If you absolutely cannot, add colours like brown, dark maroon etc.

4.Reminds me, avoid wearing black on special days, like your birthday.

5. If you can wear silver ornaments, please do. Wearing silver ring (check what is the right placement) or earrings, helps strengthen the moon, and helps regulate mind, and brings good luck.

6. If you want a stronger Jupiter, wear gold. If its possible, avoid meat on Thursdays.

7. Helping poor people, or helping anyone in general, especially women, strengthens Saturn. If possible, consider doing this every Saturday, can even be as small as feeding the stray dogs.

8.Reminds me, disrespecting women, is one of the worst things you can do. Not only it is morally wrong, it weakens to your Saturn to a degree where you will start to loose all your material wealth. SEEN THIS 11/10 TIMES FR.

9. Cut your nails, and put them in the soil. Maybe have a separate pot with soil and put it in there. My mother met an astrologer yesterday and this is what he said "Your nails carry energy. When you cut them off, they look for their way back to the source. When you put a dead person under the grave, the first thing that happens is the growth of nails. Disposing them in the wrong places can have very bad effects, like a bad health or luck"

10. IF its possible, try cutting your nails, every friday.

11.Avoid eating at places of strangers or people you arent much aware about. Food made at any body's home has energy, and if you dont know about the person, its generally a bad idea to do that.

12. I dont know how many people know this but your name carries energy. Thats why sometimes, its suggested to change a few alphabets in your name. The way your birth numbers and name numbers synchronize is supposed to have some effect on your life. I learnt this when I met a very amazing astrologer, when he was using my name to find numbers. He showed me how exactly this works

13. Having a strong sun can lead to a good career growth. One of the ways to do so, is wake up before the sunrise, bath before the sunrise. Avoid eating at sunsets , always keeping your home well lit at sunsets.

14. Excessive use of substances is often related to a bad NN. NN is one of the things that defines your purpose, material wealth, unexpected changes that come (good or bad) and your decision making skills. Having a bad NN is often considered to make you act stupid, reckless, lose your money or status amongst others. Want a bad or weak North Node? please keep your home dirty, especially your kitchen and bathroom /use your footwears all inside your home and never keep your plates back into the kitchen after meals and leave them at the table unattended :)

15.Not keeping a good personal hygiene is again a bad Venus. Also, use of perfumes or fragrances can help somewhat with strengthening your Venus.

There is more but that's all i remember for now. Remember all of this is from a personal point of view and if you feel any of this conflicts with your morals, ethics or religion, please be free to ignore it, although I tried to keep this cut and clean as much as possible. This is from my experience and what I have seen and learnt. Astrology does affect your life but to a limit, although, I have seen a lot of this, I still believe a lot of your life is free will. Have good morals, do good, receive good. None of this works if you're downright evil lol.

support me on ko-fi :)

all the best, leave post suggestions or feedbacks as you like :).

i love you all

[favouritefi]

I would be super fascinated to learn more about how Peglar's views re. If humans get to be people why can't I, affects his relationship with Bridgens - and really just about how they came to be in/navigate through that relationship. Your art is adorable and I love it doubly more so for the amount of care and consideration you have for the inner works of creating a dog/cat boy world. :)

aw thank you this au really is my brain going "crack treated seriously" and somehow making This and im glad other ppl enjoy it too. i have a lot of thoughts on this in terms of how much history to keep and how much to disregard so its under the cut:

so apparently in the book (which i have not read and do not plan to read) bridglar met on the hms beagle and as far as i can tell thats completely made up bc peglar was sailing w the east india company at the time.

then theres the show weirdness of bridgens being like in his 50s/60s when irl bridgens was in his 20s and this makes more sense bc as far as i can tell the position of steward was usually one reserved for younger men so for 50smth bridgens to be jfj's steward is a little odd and esp odd if hes a human in a position that is typically meant for cat/dogboys so my logic for this is that either 1) jfj requested bridgens to be his steward or 2) bridgens requested to be jfj's steward and either option would mean giving bridgens and jfj a slightly closer relationship than what they have in show canon which is fine that just means peglar and bridgens likely met during the first opium war but then how they met is still a mystery bc peglar would be aboard the wanderer with hodgson and bridgens would be on the cornwallis/clio with jfj so like ???

POINT BEING for all the reasons above ive handwaved away exactly how they meet but AT SOME POINT they do meet during the first opium war. peglar was the one who initiated the relationship tho the two of them did have mutual feelings for each other before committing to anything and bridgens is deffo the kinda guy who would go all "i would love you no matter what species you are" and actually mean it and peglar. ok so. i have a lot of thoughts about peglar.

so irl peglar was lashed for drunkeness and mutinous conduct while serving with the east indian company and for catboy peglar i like to imagine that travelling to places where cat/dogboys arent treated the way they are treated in england really opened his eyes and his mind to the idea of being treated like a person and this is obviously not a mindset that human officers want him to have and hence why he was lashed. he then served on the wanderer fighting against the slave trade and thats another chance to see a different type of human-to-cat/dogboy relationship even if he wouldnt have had as many opportunities to live amongst the locals as he did while with the east india company. and peglars like, smart. part of the reason why bridgens falls in love w him is bc of his intelligence and cheek and wit and peglar knows that britiannia's "civilizing mission" is bogus because while they are trying to abolish slavery on one hand they are also actively enforcing Company rule in India on the other and bc peglar has seen both sides of that he has Thoughts about it, Thoughts he didnt dare share with anyone until bridgens coaxed it out of him and to his surprise bridgens agreed with him.

bridgens, being well read and well educated, also knows that the way england treats cat/dogboys is the exception and not the rule and really like cherishes peglar and loves him like truly loves him and is thus completely aware of and careful of their uneven power dynamic here and wouldve never been the first to initiate anything for that very reason. and its not easy to navigate this forbidden relationship but peglar makes it worth it and both of them did worry that maybe this was merely a maritime romance but in the months between the war and the expedition they managed to sneak in lowkey dates on land and found that they were still very much compatible and it really makes things all the more tragic that bridgens cant afford to adopt peglar outright and ensure that henry lives out the rest of his days in peace curled up next to the fire with a good book and smiling whenever he catches john staring at him and god, they are so in love.

[clockworkcheetah]

*shaking your shoulders* hiiiii tell me everything about your thought process behind writing your incredible bangfic the bad dog nerves, inspiration characters writing EVERYTHING it's so good tell us more

hiii getting to talk about my creations!!! ahhh

ok so cause its been a couple of months and my memory is nothingness aka im a little hazy on some stuff. buuuuuut i distinctly remember several things that heavily inspired TBDN im just gonna run my thoughts as they come so i apologise if its incoherent. i am also putting this under a readmore for the sake of everyone. and because spoilers for the fic

first inspo was deathmark2 cause it got its english translation earlier this year (i love deathmark but ill say everytime i talk of it its very difficult to recommend cause it needs so many content warnings). im very much the kinda person who can and will mash fandoms together- ill make those parallels. god cant stop me. basically dm is what got the ball rolling for me- spirits and possession and influenced moods. its only inspired pretty loosely by dm- very much the general concept/brainrot for both fandoms kinda deal. also more horror elements in dghda yes pls

another thing that inspired it was the doctor who ep 'midnight'. that ep was chilling- i think about how you can tell ten is fully awake and aware during his possession and it stuck with me- a+ acting from david. its a fear of mine being fully awake/aware whilst having no control of your body/immobilised and you cant do anything but wait for the inevitable. granted todd leaned more towards anger, or like the five stages of grief, than fear. but that felt more him also cause it went on longer than a few hours (or rather he expresses his fear through anger/lashing out) but i wanted that ugly rawness of it- hes nervous like a bad dog ay ayyyyyyy

(i sorta wish i went harder with it at the end with his scene with dirk, but alas he was burnt out and healing)

also tbh i just love scenes like that in media too. the character is right there! its so close and nobody is helping them so they gotta save their own ass and be a bitch about it

also i just kinda wanted more fics where dirk just fucks up?? like theres no hoops being jumped through to make what he said right (im not exactly a fan of this fanon!dirk where hes this saint who does no wrong/is always right/everyone else is to blame) so that was a goal in mind when writing this- dirk mostly, but also amanda to an extent of being wrong (not like in some horrible malicious way just. you made a bad call. u gotta live with it). also why todd was quicker to forgive farah (or at least be on better terms with her than the others- i really wish i included a convo between them aw well) granted these arent really specific to this fic- i like to have it in other fics, i need those two to fuck up. as well as todd getting to be angry/upset without this notion that he cant cause he did bad things therefore can only be bad, undeserving person forever cause thats how it works obviously (look if i wanted content of todd fucking up id watch the show lemme have something else with fics- ok ill stop being salty now asdfghjkl;)

i also really wanted the aftermath of what happened to be explored (i love the concept of possession/mindcontrol but shows kinda brush it off after the character is freed. like??? youre telling theyre all sunshine and fine now??? no way, theres gonna be a recovery period. aka todds body being weak from literally having zero nutrients, miru not taking care of the body, also learning to have control of his own body again

with the characters or i guess specifically project miru, she wasnt inspired by anything specific. i really like tragic but unsympathetic characters in media so wanted to have a try at it, and to explore the whole riggins' favouritism towards dirk and how the other projects may have felt. idk how well i pulled it off but i had fun writing her interactions with todd even if it was mostly them being dicks to eachother and being a dick to everyone

ok my brain is starting to run on empty so ill close up this haha.

im sure this is universal but when i got the idea of this fic i had the immediate The Scenes™️ for it. they were: amandas confrontation and realising that oh shit it isnt todd the whole time that scene was vivid in my head (also fave scene to write!!) and the other is the final scene with dirk and todd and todd breaking down. todds kinda the 'strong' one of the two (to dirk) and the caretaker- so someone takes care of him and lets him be upset with everyone

but yeah!!! some of my thoughts behind the creation of TBDN 💖🥰🧡 theres stuff i wish i included in the fic and ideas i had after i had already posted but im happy with it regardless. at its core i just wanted some sweet sweet todd whump i wanna traumatise that little man

[cadaverousconsumer]

helloooo here are my beta kid headcanons! @icarusshomestuckfan do u remember that one convoersation we had about how i had no headcanons? well i do now!!!!

also im only doing the beta kids rn cause i dont wanna spoil anything for @giggleshitter0

ok chat starting with my main dude

Dave Strider hc!! dave is definitely, at the start at least, very thin but relatively lanky bc of general malnourishment from bro. however i like 2 think that he would become healthier throughout the comic and eventually become a healthy weight for his height. dave i think, if he went 2 school i think people would like him and think he was cool and wanna hang out buttt i think that he wowuld only have a couple good friends like the other beta kids buttt like his irl friends. i think dave definetly learned many domestic chores at a very young age. however i think bro would care about how dave looks, like his style and whatnot, but it would be strictly mandated by bro, with lil room for dave to express himself differently from bro. i think that dave is biracial bc i think roxy is black n dirk is pale asf in a white way.

kk now for our unoffical main character the nicest sigmaest guy john!

John Egbert hc: just clariying i think june egbert iis totally cool and probably canon buttt i personally never rly thought about it b4 getting into the fandom so i have no headcanons for her so here r my headcanons for john. john definitely is on the chubbier smaller side imo. his dad does bake a lot! i think john had a pretty good upbringing and was pretty happy with his bad movies and prank obssession. at school he probably had a couple nerdy friends and tehy were all very close! i dont think he would play dnd buttt if he did i bet thats where he would meet his friends, stranger things style. john is a classic nerd and people like him bc hes so nice and very considerate. john likes basketball n has fun playing it but isnt very good. i think john is half brazilian bc i think jake is brazilian but alpha kids are for another day haha. john has definetly broken his glasses a few times tripping over things. i think hes a bit clumbsy lol.

now onto our goth queennnn rose

Rose Lalonde hc: rose definitely had a rough childhood 2 but i think her mom took more care of her then bro did even if it was only 2 play the role of motherhood for her passive aggressive tendencies. she definitely stopped doing anything (other than vacuuming lol) once rose was old enough to do it herself. i think roses hair is bleached and straightened to oblivion and when she gets older shes defintely gonna wish she hadnt done it so much when she was younger. i think at school many people would have wanted to be her friend but she prefered more solitude, for wizard fanfics and eldritch god study. i think rose is shorter and curvier, (i def like the idea of her being shorter than kan) and a bit darker than dave. she started her intensive makeup routine in the hopes of attracting her mothers attention negatively, but with no luck. however she kept up with it because she found she liked the repetitivness of putting it on each morning, as well as the fact that it fit her overall aesthetic.

now for everyones fav doggie girl, jade!

Jade Harley hc: i love jade i think she is sooo cute. jade had an interesting childhood, being raised by a god level dog. i dont think it was necessarily bad just... very different from the other kids. i imagine she was left unattended a lot, but bec would always be aware of when to teleport in 2 save her. her hair is very long and has never really been cut officially due 2 living in the woods. jade is completely homeschooled and has nevre left the island. i think jade is rather petite and pretty thin overall... i imagine dogs probably arent the best at nutrition for humans haha. even tho jade doesnt know any kids her age in person i think she probably had many online friends and spent a lot of time online, playing games, watching videos, and just messing around. i think she learned bass from a youtube video. jade is also half brazilian cause jake

well those r my shitty headcanons

[slowpokedragon]

theres something very chilling about maes hughes. he is a man who has to be a good person to us as viewers. he is portrayed so incredibly sympathetically, because he has a wife and daughter who he loves very much, and he tries his best to protect ed and al, and he dies attempting to uncover state secrets.

but the only reason he really was getting into state secrets at all is because roy asked him to. the only reason he feels any remorse over the ishvalan genocide isnt because it was an objectively horrific thing- it was because ROY was remorseful and actively portrayed as suicidal and attempting to atone. he cared because he cares about roy, not because he cares about what he has done in the name of his country as a soldier, as an intelligence officer, and as another instrument of an authoritarian, fascist regime, which amestris IS.

i think too many people refuse to look at maes critically because he dies and therefore is sympathetic, but considering roy wanted to become fuhrer to try everyone who was involved in the ishvalan genocide (because i refuse to call it a war when it was so one-sided) because the system and the public hailed them as heroes (including HIMSELF!!!! roy canonically wanted to put himself on trial, he didnt exempt himself) i dont think maes would have been spared from that!

especially considering conqueror of shamballa, where maes hughes is genuinely a nazi soldier and sees nothing wrong with it until EDWARD (a retired soldier from a fascist regime who knows the military is nothing but dogs and was using their resources to atone for his own sins and attempt to fix his brother, not even himself, (and in a way committed suicide by doing what he did at the end of 03, because i think dimensional travel counts as a form of suicide to the people left behind)) makes him confront that ugly, horrifying truth.

maes hughes is canonically not a man who self-examines and attempts to improve past awful mindsets. not like roy does, not like edward does, and not like riza does. and the difference between them is that all three of those characters are aware of what they have done and what atrocities they have committed, and attempt to atone for them even when they know that they won't be forgiven for it, and arent even seeking forgiveness in the first place, just redemption.

maes does NOT do this. he helps roy and does things for him not because he knows its the right thing to do, but because roy asked him to. because he values roy as a friend. that is fucking dangerous. what if roy wanted something genuinely awful for amestris and for the ishvalan refugees living in the slums? i think, considering what we know of maes, he would have followed along, just because roy is his friend.

fma (and all of its incarnations) is a wonderful examination of on-the-surface kind and good people doing genuinely horrible things, and attempting to atone for those things their entire lives, knowing that it will never make up for what theyve done and what trauma theyve inflicted onto others and themselves. it is an examination of how even the nicest kindest people can be capable of monstrous things and not even fucking bat an eye. "just following orders".

and for the record, i think scar is exempt from this, to some extent. the revenge arc where they try to show roy and scar as parallels is.. it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and they never should have been shown as similar or meant to mirror one another. roy was continuing a cycle of murder, damn the consequences, in a personal revenge quest for his friend. scar was expressing rage and grief over his entire people being slaughtered and driven from their homes and their religion being torn down and being hatecrimed in the country they fled to, the very country that did this to them because it was their only option, and KNEW he might die in the process and all he had to say for that was "i have done all i can". scar did kill people, but honestly i cannot say they didnt fucking deserve it, as soldiers who did genuinely participate in the ishvalan genocide. (this is a direct mirror, i think, to how POC are portrayed in the media. as much as i can contribute anyways, as a white person who isnt jewish.)

the only moment where we see scar as being in the wrong (or at least me) is when he tries to kill edward, but honestly i see where he is coming from in that respect too. he has no idea who edward is, only that he appears to be this fucking brainwashed child taken in by the military for being a prodigy, and he will become an instrument of war. he didnt know anything about ed, or that ed was attempting to atone for his OWN sins, or that he was planning to retire once he got what he needed from the military and the state.

i cant fault him for killing ninalexander either. it was genuinely suffering and a twisted creature made by, again, a man who seems easygoing and good on the surface and loves his kid (and his wife) before succumbing to desperation to keep money in his pocket and food on his table, even at the expense of his loved ones. another example of how people who can seem so kind are capable of atrocity.

[creweemmaeec11]

I’ve been thinking about getting a pet rat, do you have any tips or what to start researching??

Absolutely! Pet rats are fantastic!

Heres a bunch of general info!

They are easy to care for, super interactive and intelligent, they can be trained to do tricks, mine are shoulder trained, which means I put them on my shoulder and just leave them there while I walk around and do whatever else, and they just sit and watch and hang out and it's great (they have awesome balance) and they love it. They can even be litter trained.

What rat should you get?

The first thing to know, is you can never, ever, have only 1 rat.

You NEED to get at least 2.

They are very social animals, and they need a friend. I can not stress this enough. Under no circumstance should you be buying a single rat.

Having only a single rat, on top of being just generally cruel, leads to behavior problems, depression, aggression, anxiety and just a really bad time for both the rat and the owner. Most rat breeders will actually refuse to sell you single rat baby unless you already have rats and your looking on simply getting another one. Please do not buy a single rat.

The next thing to consider is whether you want males or females. There is actually a big difference between their behaviors, potential health problems, and even diets.

-Male rats tend to be more lazy, cuddly, and want to spend more time with you. However, they do smell more, as they scent mark. Males should never eat anything citrusy, (lemons, oranges, ect) as studies show it increases chances of tumors.

-Females tend to be more energetic and playful and just want to go,go,go. They don't want to be held as much, and good luck getting them to stay still long enough to cuddle. They smell less, though. They can have bits of citrus, but most reccomend to just steer clear of it regardless. Females are also prone to mammory tumors (how I lost hex) unless spade at a young age.

Some health tips for both genders:

-They can eat pretty much anything, I often call mine "glorified greenbins". They love supper leftovers, scraps, ect. One of their favour treats is the bones from cooked chicken(good for grinding down teeth too)

-in general, avoid things with too much protein and try to keep it low in their diet (so dont give them too much meat) protein has been linked to hair loss, tumors, and other health problems

-stay away from peanutbutter or other sticky foods unless its watered down. Rats don't have a gag reflex, and thus can't dislodge something if they choke. Many risk it, but it's not worth the risk in my opinion.

If you have a cat or dog, make sure their cage is in a place your other pets cant pester and scare them.

Their cage

Just some quick tips and info:

While rats don't need a big cage, the tiny hamster cage the guy at the pet store will try and sell you won't cut it, esspecially once they are full grown. I personally recommend Critter Nation cages (as most people do, they are the community standard) but they are expensive new. Search facebook marketplace or other sites for second hand cages, they are a great way to get a good cage cheap.

Rats will chew through any cage that isnt metal, they can't be kept in plastic bottomed cages either.

Rats need airflow. Most rat owners of the western world strongly disagree with keeping rats in tanks.

It's important your rats have at least one place to hide, somewhere out of site they can go if they feel stressed or scared.

Toys! Rats are very intelligent, and need stimulation! They arent picky though. While you can buy fancy toys, they also don't mind diy (theres plenty) or even just some cardboard boxes, pompoms, cardboard tubes, fabric scraps like old destroyed clothing cut up, socks, ect! (I could make a whole nother post on great rat toy ideas alone)

Rats are great climber and jumpers, something to keep in mind while arranging their cage

I'm ready to get my rats, where do I get them?

I'd personally urge you to avoid big pet store chains, as those rats are typically mass bred with little care. Leople have bought females that turned out to be pregnant, rats that had mites, ect. Search online to find local rat breeders. These rats are bred to be healthy, handled daily as babies, ect. They will be more expensive, but will have less health and behavioral problems and will typically live longer (trust me, I learned the hard way)

Other things to keep in mind and be aware of:

people don't like rats. Especially elders. I've heard it all, many claim you'll catch diseases from them (despite the fact theyve lived in their cage their whole live and have been bred to be pets. Where would they have caught the disease to give to me in the first place? Its idiotic and completly false) I've had family members comment rude things of their photos, "I'd scream if there was a rat on my shoulder" ect. (If you rent, you may have problems with other tenants or the property owner, worried about them "getting loose in the walls" or some sh*t)Don't let idiots sway you. Rats are wonderful, very clean and intelligent animals. Just be prepared to defend your babies, and teach/show people to give them the respect they deserve.

rats don't have a long life span, and while some can live to be around 5, most only live about 2 years. Just understand this.

Know you will make mistakes, and that's okay. Every single pet owner has and will make mistakes. You will learn.

Anyway, that about sums up my little spiel, but here are the basic topics to research when thinking about getting rats:

How to care for pet rats

Rat diet and limitations

Things to know about pet rats

There are many, many good resources online! I also reccomend joining some rat facebook groups. The people in them are super nice and informative to questions, and its wonderful having a community behind you, and have somewhere to go with any questions!

I hope this helped! If your thinking about getting rats as pets, I encourage you to! Just do your research. They make wonderful pets and companions.

Also know that I'm not an expert, or a vet, I'm still learning everyday. This is just what I've learned via owning them. I urge you to do your own research into some of the things I mentioned here.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Stu Macher

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You met Stu when you were both in middle school. The two of you became friends purely because Stu wouldn’t let you not become his friend.

- So the two of you grew up and entered highschool together. You had a bit of a crush on him but never said anything about it, thinking that he only liked you as a friend. Oh how wrong you were....

- It’s sophomore year when you get your first real boyfriend. Stu isn’t happy about it.

- It’s obvious to see that he disapproves when you tell him that you’re going on a date. He treats you coldly throughout the entire day, not as bubbly as he usually is. While it does seem odd, you chalk it up to him feeling protective of you and not knowing how to articulate his worries.

- The next day, it’s as though nothing has happened. He nonchalantly asks you about your date but doesn’t seem all too happy to hear that it went well. You figure you’re looking into it too much.

- As time goes on, on the outside, it seems like he’s warmed up to the idea of you dating the boy, though you’re sure it’s mainly because you weren’t planning on getting rid of him anytime soon. But on the inside, it’s driving him crazy.

- Theres an obvious yet subtle rivalry between your boyfriend and him, whether one sided; at first, or not. Sometimes you wouldn’t even notice but your boyfriend sure did.

- The certain way Stu would pop up when you were hanging out, the way he called you over to him when you were trying to talk, the way he touched you; it was like he was sending a message behind his cheerful smile. Can’t you see who’s more important to her.

- He hugs you for too long, enjoys it too much. You thought your boyfriend was going crazy. You’d assure him that you were just friends, that you’d been friends for a long time and that he was just reading into it too much. That that was just Stu being, well, Stu.

- But your boyfriend wasn’t too far off. Stu had feelings for you. He had a big crush that hadn’t let up for years, one which was slowly eating away at him. He hadn’t wanted to ruin your friendship, especially when he didn’t even know if you wanted to date anyone.

- Though, regardless of whether or not you thought your boyfriend was being silly; you talked to Stu about it. He makes jokes, teasingly promising to be on his best behavior. You aren’t even aware that you’ve given him all he needs to know. He is getting to the boy and everything is working out perfectly.

- In the following days, Stu ups his antics and your boyfriend finally loses it, starting an argument which evolves into a full on fight and ends in you breaking up with him. Single once more.

- The next day at school, Stu approaches you like normal and immediately notes how tired and bothered you look. Without even thinking, you relinquish the details and he comforts you, saying that he could tell he wasn’t good for you. He does feel bad, seeing you so upset, but at the same time, he’s happy that you’re finally done with the other boy.

- It’s a week or so later that he confesses his feelings to you, wanting to give you enough time to get over the jerk. Having waited this long, he didn’t want his plan to be foiled by post breakup confusion.

- His parents are out of town so you’re staying the night, the two of you laying side by side on his bed, dressed in your comfiest clothes. You’re watching some lousy made for TV movie when he shoves your shoulder lightly, prompting you to look at him. He’s now leaning on his elbow and facing you. You shoot him a curious look and he speaks.

“We’ve known each other for a long time, right? And you know that I care about you a lot. Well, the thing is.... I care about you a lot more than you think and I want us to be even closer than we are now, ya know? I guess what I’m trying to say is that I... I love you and I want to know if you feel the same.” He rambles nervously, eyes focused on his fingers which are tracing along the blanket beneath the two of you.

- It certainly comes as a shock though you can’t say you’re completely surprised. You don’t know what to say so you let your actions speak for you. You move closer to him, hands grasping his cheeks as his own hands find your hips, pulling you closer as he tilts his head up and let’s you press your lips to his.

- He pulls you closer until you’re practically on top of him, eagerly kissing you until you both need to break apart for air. When you do, you’re both panting yet he smiles, pecking your lips and saying he’ll “take that as a yes”.

- Congratulations, you’ve earned yourself an adorable goofball who also kills people.

- He hangs all over you in public. You can never get him off of you although, would you ever really want to?

- Hand kisses. He presses his lips to your knuckles whenever he grabs your hand.

- You arent allowed to walk to class alone; he won’t let you. It is his duty to walk you and he will fulfill it.

- He rarely says your full name. Instead, he’ll either call you a pet name; usually babe or darling, or whatever nickname comes from your full name. Even if your names short, he’ll wind up making it longer just because he can.

- Long makeout sessions.

- He always gets this lovestruck look on his face whenever you show up; no matter what was going on before you arrived. His day instantly becomes like ten times better at the sight of you.

- Getting to borrow his Walkman. He makes a very strategically constructed mixtape, filled with songs that the two of you love so that both of you can listen and enjoy.

- Tasteful groping and butt smacks.

- Going to all his parties.

- He is such a baby when he gets sick. He completely overreacts, whining, moaning and acting like he’s dying even though he’s just got a mild cold.

- He tries to make your hugs last for as long as they can, especially when you’re saying goodbye.

- He’s constantly trying to make you laugh, mostly through bad jokes that will either get you to laugh through their stupidity or have you rolling your eyes.

- Teasing you is his favorite hobby. He likes doing what he’s good at and what he’s good at is being a little shit.

- Sometimes he just randomly approaches you with little gifts; mainly flowers he’s picked you or something similar. It’s usually either because you look like you need some cheering up or because he’s trying to apologize for a “stupidity leak”.

- Big boy likes being a big spoon. He’s tall so the two of you fit together perfectly.

- Gettting randomly thrown over his shoulder. Sometimes he’ll just carry you off as though you weren’t going somewhere or having a conversation with someone. Or he’ll act like nothings out of the ordinary while talking to the person you were talking to.

- You always have a seat ready for you ...on his lap.

- He leans on you all the time, whether it be him resting his chin or arm against your shoulder or him full on laying between your legs with his head against your stomach.

- Getting... the tongue. The man is constantly flashing it at you. A part of you thinks he’s trying to send a message, the other part of you just thinks he’s a dog.

- On that note, he’s probably licked the entire side of your face before, especially when you aren’t paying attention to him.

- He craves attention; it’s like a drug to him. He loves having your eyes on him, and when they aren’t? He’ll give them a reason to be.

- He’s sort of insecure so you fawning over or complimenting someone else immediately makes him uneasy. His ex girlfriend dumped him for a football player and he’s kinda scared that you’ll do the same.

- He tries to reassure you whenever you seem nervous or apprehensive, usually through jokes. Not sure about an idea of his? Well, what if he makes some action movie reference and promises to protect you as he makes karate motions with his hands?

- The boy has no subtly. He’s always blunt and upfront with what he’s trying to say so you’re never confused by any “insinuations” that he makes.

- Getting random, unexpected visits from him, usually when you’re at work or home alone.

- This man is a cheerleader when it comes to you. He’s always hyping you up and complimenting everything you do.

- He’s constantly bragging about you; he’s so proud.

- Movie dates. He’s not as completely obsessed with horror as Billy is but he still enjoys sitting with his girl, watching a film and trying to “subtly” feel you up.

- Getting close to Billy by default. The two of them are constantly together so you wind up being costantly around him as well.

- Hanging out at the fountain with him and his friends.

- His parents are out of town a lot so you have the whole house to yourselves most of the time.

- He’s got a farmhouse on the outskirts of town with the perfect view of the sunset/sunrise. You don’t know how many times you and him have laid out on the grass, cozied up next to each other and watching the sky change colors.

- Stealing his sweaters when it gets cold. You should see his face when he sees you wearing them, it’s the perfect example of a lovestruck expression.

- Jaw and neck kisses. He doesn’t care if he’s giving or receiving; he loves them either way.

- Inside jokes.

- Having to stifle a laugh when he mocks or makes fun of someone. It’s so stupid that you can’t help but chuckle.

- He may not seem like a very jealous person but whew boy. For someone who is constantly bragging about how great you are, he hates other people actually seeing it and admitting that he’s right.

- He’s a protective boy, he hates the thought of you being hurt, upset, or take advantage of. And he’s like so buff, he’s got you covered.

- Defending him whenever someone won’t let up on him. He isn’t very articulate so if someone needs to be shut down verbally, you do it yourself.

- Local sensitive baby caves under peer pressure. It’s incredibly easy to make him do what you ask; thankfully, you aren’t trying to make him do something that will get him in trouble.

- He doesn’t quite grasp the art of being tactful so you’ll oftentimes have to interrupt or stop him from saying something.

- Since he always seems to say the wrong thing or do something stupid, the two of you; most likely, have more than a few petty arguments. They usually aren’t anything worse than a little bickering.

- He always does something adorable that makes you forgive him whether it be using puppy dog eyes on you or telling bad jokes until you can’t help but warm back up to him.

- Not a day goes by where he doesn’t say he loves you. He needs you to know!!

- He doesn’t really talk about the future but he’s planning on marrying you as soon as he can and that’s a fact. The man is in love.

[brelione]

Love and Hate (The Best Boys)

dude come on. you said you’d upload the next chapter on christmas and now it’s been a whole week after and it’s still not out. :(, hi! when are you posting the next chapter of tbb??, tbb????, Are you posting the next chapter of best boys soon? I miss her, when will you be posting the next part of the best boys series??, Ok I’m over TBB I’m just gonna say she ends up with Blah Blah and they live happily ever after, the end. Thank you for the amazing read, it has been fun❤️, TBB is literally the last series I have to finish before I can finally peace out of the shithole that is the OBX fandom for good but like no rush or anything baby❤️,When do you think you’ll be posting the last chapters of TBB?, Hey queen how’s the writing for best boys going, 

Series Masterlist

SHES HEREEEE

Yes, im aware this chapter is all over the place. I went through writing four different versions of this chapter and this is the one that I decided to go with. I know that this one is kind of a little ahfioshviowenvionae but it all comes together next chapter (I already started writing the next chapter). Im so sorry that this is so late. I’ve been having issues for a little bit. My grandfather and my dog passed away and I recently had a relapse and I think that’s why it was taking me so long. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3

Warnings:Nothing really, swearing and unedited. Also im sorry if you dont like this chapter but like....yeah.

You were awoken to the sounds of screaming.Topper ended up at the foot of the bed, Kelce still clinging onto you.Rafe was absent from his spot but the mattress was still warm and had a slight dent which let you know that he hadnt been gone long.

You had spent most of the night trying to find the perfect spot on the mattress, one arm thrown over kelce and your heel against the back of Toppers thigh.It seemed like it hadnt been a super long time since the sun had risen which meant that it was probably around seven in the morning by now.

Your heart was thumping in your chest, trying to pay attention to what the voices were shouting.Something about a mess and irresponsibility but you couldnt hear much besides that.Rafe stomped up the stairs, opening his door.He was shirtless, face red from yelling and his eyes slightly watery.You sat up, making Kelce grumble.

 Rafe’s jaw was slightly dropped, his nose beginning to run and his body trembling.“Hey, what happened?”You asked, gaining Kelce’s attention.Topper’s eyes opened slightly, looking over at Rafe.The tall boy didnt say anything, he just dragged his feet across the room and sat back on the bed, mumbling.You were hesitant to grip his hand, squeezing lightly.

He just stared at a wrinkle in the blanket but the sound of something breaking downstairs told you that it had been more than just bickering.Kelce was worried, knowing that his parents had gotten home late last night and would see the mess he had created. “He doesnt want me living here anymore.”Rafe spoke up, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

You pulled him closer to you, arms around his shoulders as he sobbed, your fingers rubbing against the back of his neck.He squeezed you tightly when he head footsteps coming up the stairs, silently praying to any god that would listen that it wouldnt be Ward.Kelce’s phone kept buzzing but he ignored it, knowing exactly what it was.

He knew that it was coming and he would be lying if he said that he didnt expect it, nervous the whole night as he waited for his phone to blow up.“What are you gonna do?”Topper asked.As much as you wanted to scold him for asking that when Rafe clearly didnt want to talk about it it was still something that you had also been wondering.

Rafe didnt answer, taking in a deep, shaky breath that hurt his ribs before picking up his head and looking over to his friend. “I dont know.”He admitted.His voice hurt your heart, the realisation kicking in that there wasnt really many places that he could go.

Kelce’s phone buzzed again, all of your eyes falling on him.He sighed, glancing at his screen.He had missed calls from his parents, dozens of text in all caps telling him to come home immediately. “They found the door.”He replied, keeping his voice calm.A new wave of silence washed over the room, not knowing what to say to that.

Your eyes watered as you remembered how simple life was a few weeks ago, all of you eating breakfast, watching criminal minds and laughing as Topper recorded it all on his snapchat.Now everything was completely falling apart.You didnt say anything, trying to think of a solution.Rafe couldnt go to Kelce’s house or Topper’s house since Topper’s mother had one of those security cameras outside of her home and she’d recognize him immediately.

She was still pissy about Topper’s accident, she’d explode if he let friends over. “SO what happens now?”Topper asked.You were all out of ideas.A simple drive or icecream or a movie couldnt solve any of this. “I mean...think about it.We’re adults, right?Child protective services cant stop us if we leave.”Kelce muttered.Rafe nodded, snapping his fingers.

 “Yeah, yeah!You’re right.”He agreed, causing your eyes to widen.They were acting insane. They couldnt be serious about just getting up and leaving forever, right? “No, no hes not.We cant just-we cant just leave!”You exclaimed.They were actually going crazy.How could they even think like that? “Why?What do you have here, (Y/N)?”He asked.You paused, thinking about it.

You didnt really have anything.You had your house of course but other than that you had nothing but memories and your boys.You didnt want to admit that he was right, letting out a quiet sigh. “But leaving forever isnt the answer.”You muttered.Rafe rubbed your back, shaking his head. “Doesnt have to be forever, baby.”He answered. 

“But- but just cause we arent kids doesnt mean we cant be registered as missing people.They’ll come after us.”You told them.You knew that nobody outside of this room actually cared about you enough to report you as missing but you were scrambling through your thoughts, desperately hunting for a reason to stay on the shitty island that you had learned to love so much.Topper shrugged, not really caring. 

“Guys, guys. Okay, look. You’re all fucked, ill admit it. But thats fine! Are you guys forgetting that I still have a house- you guys can just stay there until this whole thing blows over just like you always have!”You reminded them, hoping they’d agree. “This isnt gonna blow over, (Y/N). I cant come back here.”Rafe told you, becoming aggravated. 

“THEN MOVE IN! All of you guys, you can just move in, okay? You dont have to leave- I still have my moms money! We’ll figure it out as we go and…. And it’ll be fine.”You insisted. “Move in with you?”Rafe asked. You nodded, wiping your nose. “You practically live with me already, it wont be that different.”You told him, gripping his hand.

 It was a messy blur as Rafe packed his things, grabbing anything that he thought could be important. A photo of his mother, his birth certificate and diploma, laptop and ipad, the Frozen ll record. Kelce and Topper just watched, neither of them ready for anything like this so early in the morning. 

Maybe if you werent so tired and upset you wouldnt have said it, but here you were in Rafe’s truck, a dufflebag full of his things at your feet with the boys in the backseat as he drove to your house, a few tears rolling down his cheeks as the thoughts finally took over his brain. Kelce had got aggravated and shut down his phone entirely, staring out the window. 

The last thing you were expecting was to come down your road only to see a car that was practically falling apart already in your driveway, a tall man with his hands over his forehead as he tried to look in your windows. “What the fuck….”Rafe muttered, reaching for the door handle when you gripped his hand. “Dont, we dont know what he’s doing.”You told him, hoping he’d listen.

 Turns out he wasnt the one you had to worry about, Kelce swinging his door open and sprinting up your driveway before anyone could even stop him. Wherever Kelce went Topper went, the boy struggling to get the seatbelt over his cast before jumping out of the truck and nearly falling into a puddle. “ESCUSE ME! MR SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING IN MY HOUSE?”Kelce shouted, purposely making his voice deeper.

 The man turned, confused as to why two half asleep teenage boys were walking towards him. “Your house?”The man asked. “Yes, sir. You ever heard of a gay couple before?”Topper asked, making Kelce break character for a moment. 

“Well, no, its not that. Its just that I thought this was someone elses house.”The man muttered, confused. You had slid down your seat, hoping that the man wouldnt see you. “He’s about to leave.”Rafe whispered. 

“Who’s the other guy in the car?”The man asked, pointing to Rafe’s figure. Kelce glanced over at Topper with wide eyes, trying to think. “Our son.”Kelce replied, cringing the moment he said it. The man only looked more confused, looking between the two boys. “How old are you guys?”The man asked, clearly not buying their story. 

“Excuse me? Are you saying that we’re too old to have a son? I did not spend years training for a medical degreee to have some random old man come and tell us how old our son can be!”Topper exclaimed.  “I didnt spend years trying to find a surrogate and figuring out a way to make a robot nanny for this!”He sighed, trying his best not to smile.

“Could you please leave the property before we call the police?”Kelce asked. The man was beyond confused at this point, quickly making his way to his shitty car before slowly backing out of the driveway, eyes still scanning the area before he gave up and went down the street. 

You let out a sigh of relief, moving to get up when Rafe placed his hand on top of your head to keep you down. “Hes coming around again.”He whispered to you, taking in a shaky breath and holding it in his lungs as the car passed a second time. Topper and Kelce were standing by the door, staring at Rafe almost as telling him to get out and make a run for it.

 “Open the door in 3...2…”You didnt wait, jumping out and running towards the house, typing in the key pad as quick as you could, Topper’s hand pushing you inside. “Here he comes again!”He exclaimed, coming in right behind you along with the others before Rafe slammed the door shut and locked it, letting out a laugh.

 “Oh god, that was scary.”He chuckled. Kelce and Topper nodded as well, eventually laughing. “Was that my dad?”You asked. “Maybe.”Topper answered. Now that you thought about it, your dad didnt same important. Nothing did. You lived on a huge rock that’s floating around space and you’re concerned about your dad when your boyfriends best friends are moving in.

 “What’d you tell him?”You asked. “We told him that we’re a gay couple, Topper’s a doctor and Rafe is our child.”Kelce replied. You giggled, snorting. “I mean, as you should.”You replied. “Hell yeah.”Kelce grinned. Topper tapped at his arm. “Bro, you wanna get married?”Topper asked. Kelce laughed again, nodding.

 “I’ll get baptised and get you guys married!”Rafe volunteered, all of you turning to look at him. “Did you just say baptised?”Kelce asked. Rafe nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “Is that not the right word?”He asked. Topper shook his head. “The word is ordained.”He informed the tall boy. “He’s trying his best.”You replied, sitting down on the chair that you werent used to sitting in. 

“You think he’s gonna come back?”You asked. Topper groaned, sitting down. “Well, I hope not. I dont want my husband and I to have to fight him.”He grinned. You rolled your eyes, changing positions in the chair. “Did he look like me?”You asked, leaning your head against the arm rest, groaning when Rafe pushed your legs aside and sat down with you.

 “Not really… he had rat tails for eyebrows.”Kelce replied, putting his fingers over his eyebrows. “Do I have rat tail eyebrows?”You asked, grinning when Rafe reached forward and poked your eyebrow, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “You wish.”He replied. “Fuck off.”You answered. “Dont be fucking rude.”He grinned, kissing you quickly before pulling away with a small smile. 

You were shocked, trying to hide your surprise. It wasnt like you werent used to kissing Rafe by now, it was just that he had never done it in front of the boys before. They looked nearly as confused as you, the thought of Rafe kissing you in front of them never even being a concern until now. They were used to him getting most of your love and attention but that had just stirred something within them. 

“So how are we gonna do this? I dont know about you guys but im not going back to my house anytime soon.”Kelce announced. Rafe lifted his head, looking over to the boy. “You could always sneak in your own window to grab your things...maybe wait until theyre at work. What about you, Top?”Rafe asked, turning his attention to the blonde boy. 

“What do I have at my house that I need? Like, really need.”He asked, grinning when none of you could answer. “Problem solved.”He replied. “What time is it?”Rafe asked, breaking the silence. “Ten.”Kelce replied, closing his eyes as he leaned against the couch. “Im going upstairs to take a nap then.”Topper yawned, slowly making his way down the hall into the first floor guest room. 

It was arguably the worst since it also worked as your moms office, a queen bed pushed into the corner. You wiggled out of Rafe’s grip, smiling when he whined. You went into the kitchen, grabbing a poptart. For the situation you felt rather calm, opening the silver package and taking a bite of one of the sweet pastries. 

The energy in the house felt different than it had yesterday. You werent sure why, maybe it was just the comfort of knowing that the boys were going to be living with you now and you wouldnt have to worry as much about Rafe or Topper’s relationship with his mom. 

“So how are we gonna handle this?”Kelce asked, confusing you. “The house, I mean. You have this whole house and like...30 million dollars. We can literally redecorate however we want, maybe even clean out your moms office if youre okay with it.”He suggested. 

You nodded, the idea of getting the memory of your mother cleansed from your life sounded appealing. His excitement took over as he opened his amazon prime app, looking for new decor. “How do you feel about your moms room?”He asked, not wanting to push your limits. You shrugged, swallowing part of the pastry. “Shes not using it.”You replied, surprised by how morbid you sounded. 

He simply nodded, shifting in his seat as he added things to his cart. “Can we redo your room? It’s been the same color since we were fourteen.”Rafe suggested. You shrugged, not really caring. You didnt spend a large amount of time in your bedroom anyways. You scrolled through your phone for a few minutes, seeing a little red bubble next to your messaging app that let you know that you had gotten a text. Curious, you opened it. 

As soon as you saw who it was a pit grew in your stomach, eyes widening. It was her. “Sweet words, (Y/N).”The text read. You knew that it was your uncle just trying to mess with you but it still caused your anxiety to skyrocket, deciding to block the number and place your phone between your thighs, taking in a deep breath through your nose. 

Topper dragged his feet, coming out of the room with a frown. “That’s the most uncomfortable bed in all of history.”He muttered, sitting down on the couch instead. “You can go upstairs.’You reminded him, feeling your phone buzz against your inner thigh. 

He just hummed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “How long was I in there?”He asked. “Literally not even ten minutes.”Kelce replied, still scrolling. “Did I miss anything?”Topper asked. You didnt reply, breaking off another piece of the poptart. “We’re gonna redecorate the house.”Kelce answered. Topper nodded, lifting his head.

 “Does that mean that office too?”Topper asked. You nodded, staring at a spot on your carpet. “Does that mean we get to open the file cabinet in the guest room?”He asked, all of you looking over at him. The thought made you feel nauseous. Even if she wasnt here to yell at you you knew that opening the file cabinet would still scare you anyways. 

“If theres a dead body in there I swear to god-”You muttered, earning a chuckle from Rafe. “A body couldnt fit in there.”he replied, making your eyebrows furrow. “How do you know where bodies can fit?”You asked. “No, no. Like, its not….well...maybe a raccoon body.”He admitted. “Rafe!”You exclaimed, smacking his thigh. 

He rolled his eyes, pulling you into his lap. “There’s no raccoon body.”He answered. “I think theres a raccoon body.”Kelce replied. “Theres not.”You answered. Topper grinned, skipping into the room and beginning to open the cabinet, the three of you following him. “Okay, who votes raccoon body?”He asked, his hand on the knob. 

Kelce raised his hand, grabbing your arm to make you hold your hand up as well. “Ready?”Topper asked before pulling the door open, looking into it. His face fell immediately, not expecting this. “What?”You asked, stepping past Kelce and looking into the cabinet.Guns were being held by small metal pieces, multiple clear bags full of plants and needles on the floor, bullets on sashes hanging with the guns.

 The two of you just stared, ignoring Rafe and Kelce until they came up behind you, equally as confused. “What the fuck?”Rafe asked, seeing the bags. Kelce slammed the doors shut, locking it. “We’re not telling anyone about this, right?”He asked, looking at all of you. “What are we gonna do with all that? We cant just keep it here!”Topper argued. 

Rafe shrugged, resting his elbow on your shoulder. “We smoke the weed and throw the guns in the river, obviously.”Rafe answered. “We’re not smoking weed, Rafe.”You answered. “Well your mom didnt have a liscense to carry, right?”Kelce asked. You shook your head, figuring it would be hung up somewhere in the house to remind you of the power she had.

 “Right, okay. So we cant call the cops and we cant keep it here.”Kelce answered, clicking the lock on the cabinet. “What’d your mom even do for a living?”Topper asked. You frowned, thinking back. You never really knew what your mother did, you just stayed quiet and hoped you wouldnt make her angry. She’d disappear for months, money would appear in your bank account, she’d pay the bills aned thats all you needed to know. 

She’d have long phone calls with people in her office, grounding you if you even dared to listen. “I dont know.”You replied, cringing at how stupid you sounded. “She has these cabinets all over the house, doesnt she?”Kelce asked. “The one in her room is actual files.”You told him, hoping that there were no sorts of hidden things in her room.

 “Should we go check?” Rafe asked, out of the room with a grin before any of you could even answer. You sighed, slightly annoyed that he was treating this like a scavenger hunt. “Its been here this whole time, im sure nothings gonna happen.”Kelce assured you, patting you on the shoulder before his fingers tickled your arm and wrist, gripping your hand and bringing you upstairs. 

“I ordered some tapestries, succulents, fake vines and some new blankets for our new movie room.”He told you, nearly slipping up. “Movie room?”You asked, nearly slipping on the stairs. “Your mom has a big tv, I figured it could be like a second living room if you’re comfortable with that.”He answered, pausing at the top of the stairs so he could wait for you. 

Rafe was in your mother’s room, carefully pulling on the drawers, eventually finding out that the top one was locked. He looked over at you, silently asking if you knew where the key was. You shook your head, letting go of Kelce’s hand and opening the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. 

Your mother kept most of your medical documents and anything like that to herself along with basically everything that proved you existed. Baby photos, ultra sounds, old school tests. “We could just move it into the other guest room.”Rafe muttered, hoping he wasnt making you upset. You ignored him, looking through all the little colored tags, your eyes falling on a silver tag, your eyebrows furrowing. No other ones had that color. 

You picked it up, sitting down and reading it over. The words were all bundled together, ink scratches and smudges told you that it wasnt a serious document. The only word you could make out was ‘arsonist’. Nothing else was eligible. “Can we take it right now?”You asked, placing the paper on the floor and closing the drawer. Rafe nodded, Kelce grabbing one side while Rafe grabbed the other. Topper grinned, leaning against your mothers unused desk.

 “I would help but my arms broken.”he laughed, watching as Kelce struggled, walking backwards. “Some moral support would be great.”Kelce rolled his eyes. You grinned, slowly clapping. “Great job, guys. You’re doing great moving that illegal file cabinet.”You held back a laugh. They turned carefully, shuffling as they eventually got to the guest bedroom.

 “How do you feel about this?”Topper asked, sitting down on the chair. You sighed, shrugging. “I mean, you know. Its not that I dont love the idea of you guys being here but like… its the circumstances.”You answered, sighing when he pulled you closer with his good arm, rubbing your back. “Thanks a lot for this, though. Like in all seriousness im really grateful that you’re in my life.”He blushed, looking up at you. You smiled, kissing his nose lightly.

 “I mean, I do provide you with half of the drama in your life.”You giggled, kissing him gently. “Where does the other half come from?”He asked. You shrugged, sighing. “Probably you.”You answered. “I cant believe you’d say that to me! You know im at a bad place in life and you put me in this terrible situation when you know that!”He fake cried, bursting into laughter. 

“Kourtney dont laugh at me!”You exclaimed. You felt a vibration under your feet, hearing a loud, dramatic sigh and the sound of skin colliding. They had successfully moved the file cabinet, the door closing as their loud footsteps hit the floor as they entered your mother’s room again. Rafe took a moment to look around, sometimes forgetting that the room even existed. 

It was the biggest room in the house, the ceiling going up at least twenty feet with only glass separating the room from the outside world. His mind wandered, thinking of all the fun nights the two of you could have in here watching the stars or listening to the rain.

 The bed was large and still, the blankets and sheets unwrinkled and untouched. He understood why you were creeped out by the house now, feeling like he didnt belong in the room. You all took turns trying to figure out what the writing said, eventually deciding that it probably wasnt even in english. “Should we put it through google translate?”Rafe asked, staring at the paper. 

Kelce shook his head. “Nah, its not reliable. I tried using it for spanish class in freshman year and I got detention.”He replied. “Well thats definitely not spanish. Maybe its like…. Ancient text.”Topper suggested, causing you to frown. “I highly doubt that my mother would know an ancient text. 

Maybe we should just leave it.”You answered. Although you werent exactly satisfied with it you just didnt feel like spending your time trying to decode a random paper. They didnt seem satisfied either but didnt want to push you, putting the paper down on the desk where it would be safe from your footsteps. 

Of course the boys just couldnt stay at the same place for long periods of time, deciding to suggest that you guys go out to a store to get some paint for the boring walls. You agreed, the four of you getting into your car instead of Rafe’s truck, locking all the doors and windows before you left. 

Kelce didnt suggest a McDonalds run which caused you to frown, knowing that he was probably too stressed to want to eat. You guys went into Walmart with one goal, heading right for the paint section and looking at the wall of colors. “Lets get four colors and kind of just make it up as we go.”Kelce muttered, looking at all the different shades.

 “We could all pick one out.”Topper suggested, reaching forward and picking a bright green. You agreed, picking a shade of light purple, watching as Kelce picked the color toffee biscuits and Rafe went for cotton blue. You doubted any of the colors would actually look good together but that wasnt the point of the project. 

It was more about making the room look fun rather than nice. Kelce grabbed a few large paint brushes, the four of you leaving before you could get distracted by anything that you didnt need. Topper decided to get right to work, spilling some paint on the floor as he dragged the brush along the wall, creating bright stripes.

 “I have an artistic vision! Trust the process!”He exclaimed, feeling your judgemental eyes on him. You didnt say anything, watching Kelce struggle to connect his phone to your speaker, playing the first song on his playlist. 

Line without a hook. Topper looked over at you, almost like he was silently asking you if you had told the boys about his top secret playlist. You shrugged, not wanting to give anything away to the others.

 “Oh my god, I love this song.”Rafe dunked his brush in the light blue, making a smiley face on the wall. “Can I paint an onion?”He asked. You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he wanted to put an onion on the wall. 

“Ogres are like onions! We have layers!”Kelce laughed. “Who is we? Are you an ogre, Kelce?”Topper asked, not taking his eyes off of the bright stripes, painting a circle on the top. “Topper Harry Katherine Thornton, are you painting a penis on my wall?”You asked, connecting the dots. 

He grinned, ignoring you. “Of course not.”He replied, painting frantically so that you couldnt stop him, green drops rolling down the wall. You picked up your paint brush, painting two circles quicklly before pushing the brush into the center of each, laughing to yourself.

 “Guys, really?”Rafe asked. “Cant we make the wall wholesome?”He asked. You shook your head, a smile on your face. “Says you of all people, Rafe.”You shook your head. “She got you there.”Topper replied, dragging the brush across the painting and blending it out so there was no longer a penis on your wall. 

“What are you doing now?”You asked, wanting to one up him. “What are you doing now?” He mocked you. Somehow you ended up splashing Topper with paint and getting tackled into the mattress as he held the paintbrush over you, trying to get the bright green liquid on your face while you held his arm back. 

“Im gonna murder you!”You laughed, rolling over under him so your face was against the mattress. “Im gonna paint your hair!”He laughed, holding the brush just above it. “Topper, dont mess with her hair.”Kelce took the brush away. 

Topper groaned, falling next to you on the mattress. His eyes were closed, the sun from the window casting a beautiful glow over his face, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. You pressed a kiss to his cheekbone, your arm resting on his torso. 

It didnt take long for painting to be forgotten, a few cheap bristles sticking to the wall with messes of colorful lines and unfilled shapes. The song changed, followed by a loud gasp from Rafe. “This is my favorite song!”He smiled, hitting his knees with his fists repeatedly. 

He didnt know what about it made him so happy, whenever he heard it it reminded him of you guys. “You know what we should do?”Topper asked. “No.”Kelce replied while Rafe rewinded the song to listen to his favorite part again. 

“We should make soup. Like, spicy soup with potatoes.”He replied, mouth watering. “We could just order soup.”Kelce replied, not in the mood to go downstairs and hunt for ingredients. “Order soup from where?”Topper asked. Kelce simply shrugged, shifting around and putting his arms under his body.

That had been a week ago. Since then a lot had happened. You guys had developed a system, Kelce could do his laundry on Saturdays, Rafe on Mondays and Topper’s just got mixed in with yours.

 It was a love and hate relationship to have them there with you. You didnt regret your decision but sometimes things would get difficult. Grocery shopping was the worst since nobody could decide what they wanted and you had all agreed not to eat out as much. 

“We need an actual meal, we cant just eat chips for everything.”Topper would grumble, realising he didnt even really know how to cook. That just lead to late flights of searching for recipes o pinterest and watching Gordon Ramsey tiktoks until they decided to try and make bake and shake chicken. That didnt really work out well, having to open all of your windows and get the smoke out of your house. 

Then you guys decided to take a new approach, finding a ton of frozen pizzas and ingredients for sushi. Kelce was the only one who had any idea of what he was doing since he had always been talented in the kitchen, specifically with breakfast. That became more of a safe meal for you guys, making extra food in the morning to eat later for dinner until you got sick of toast, eggs and bacon. 

Kelce ended up banishing you all to the pool so that he could decorate properly, vines hanging from the door ways and landscape tapestries hanging in your living room, hallway and your mother’s old bedroom. “How long do you think he’s gonna be?”You asked, floating on your back in the shallow end, letting out a yelp when Topper grabbed you and dragged you to the deep end. 

“I dont know, probably like three days.”He replied, finally letting go once you were in the middle of the pool. “We could survive three days in the pool.”You replied, watching Rafe shake his head. “With my allergy to the sun?”He asked, making you turn over, going underwater for a moment. “You dont even sunburn.”You told him, splashing water in his direction before swimming away quickly so that he couldnt get back at you.

 Kelce kept getting calls from his parents that were asking him to come home but he never did. They knew where he was, if they wanted him back so badly they’d drive over and take him away. “Guys, i’ve finished my creation.”Kelce announced, coming outside. “So we can come in now?”Topper asked, gripping the ledge of the pool and pulling himself out, falling onto his stomach as he struggled to get up.

 “Yes, you can come in now! Hurry!”Kelce yelled excitedly before going back inside, waiting impatiently for you guys to hurry. Rafe helped you out of the pool, tossing you your towel so that you wouldnt trail water through your house. “Guys! Come on!”Kelce shouted again, the three of you walking across the hot pavement quickly.

 “I’ll clean up the water after- just come see what I did!”He said again. You rolled your eyes, walking into the house. Goosebumps formed on y0our skin from the cool air, eyes widening as you looked at the kitchen. He had bought a plaid tablecloth for the table, vines hanging from the ceiling and doorways, a tie dye tapestry hanging in your living room. It looked like he had taken the time to wipe down every surface and vacuum any mess of broken spaghetti or eggshells that had been kicked under the fridge.

 “Do you like it?”He asked, unable to read your shocked expression. “Kelce, im gonna be honest with you. I feel like im in pixie hollow right now.”You grinned, making him smile. “I think thats a good thing- but upstairs is better!’He exclaimed before making his way up the stairs. He was right. 

There were marble heart shaped tiles hanging on the walls of the hall, a sign on the new hangout spot that was made out of drift wood. He opened the door, revealing bean bag chairs on the floor, a new carpet, a light yellow canopy hanging over the bed that had all new sheets and blankets on it as well. 

He had even somehow managed to fix the paint on the wall so that there were different colored polka dots all over it. The boys seemed equally impressed, still taking it in. You hugged Kelce, not even caring that you’d get his clothes wet. “So I did good?” He asked, hugging you back. “You always do good.”You replied, feeling him hug you tighter.

 “So you’re happy?”He asked, letting out a small sigh when you nodded. “I am happy, Kelce.”you replied, kissing him lightly. He smiled against you, taking in a deep breath. “I found a new recipe for fancy grilled cheese.”He told you, kissing your forehead. This was something that you loved about having them live with you.

@sweetlittlegingy​    @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet​ @butgilinsky​ @jjjmaybank​ @gracelovesbroadway​  @one-stella @spn-marvel-nerd @lovelyelinor​ @chinamolina602  @sexytholland @28cnn  @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae@sunwardsss @meaganjm  @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @natalie-kate-98​ @nxsmss​ @broken-jj @joshy-obx @classygirlything  @annmariek8​ @stupidpendeja​ @killjoyybsinner @pink-meringues @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian   @simonsbluee  @deionswannabegirl​ @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off  @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @dmonchld​​@annmariek8 @harryswigss​ @ibookofstars​  @lostaurorax​​ @cheshirecat107​​​

[dromaeo-sauridae]

yay!!! ok so the main misconception i see ppl have is that birds just eat seed, and no!!! seeds are incredibly fatty and this is ok for wild birds because they are constantly flying around and getting a varied diet anyway, but pet birds can’t do this. luckily, there is pellets!! these are good, but not enough! they also need vegetables and grains! a birds diet should be 70% pellets, 20% veggies n grains, and 10% or less seeds n millet and other treat food. i give coco this bean and grain mix with some chopped veggies every morning! then there’s cage size. as always chain pet stores are never gonna have anything even close to good even for small birds like finches or budgies. flight cages are always a good bet as they are pretty big! the best thing you can do is just get the biggest cage you can. next is toys! lots of toys! birds are very intelligent so if they’re in their cage a lot they’re gonna need stimulation! parrots love shredding toys. actually they love shredding things in general. rip to my sketchbook. mirrors and cheap plastic stuff is not good. foraging toys are great! i need to get some for coco soon. moving toys anroind and getting new ones and replacing old ones is great as they’re gonna get bored or the old toys will get dirty. with perches, it’s good to have variety! natural perches r great. other bad things are those nesting boxes or other fuzzy things advertised for comfort. nesting boxes will make birds hormonal and territorial and bird can injest the fibers on fuzzy things and that’s obviously bad. birds are messy as shit. i have to wash my hoodies every day. rip. they are also loud! not all of them will sing/talk/dance. coco doesn’t do any of that but i still love her. oh wow that’s a lot of text. yikes. i’m sure theres more stuff i forgot

yooo thank u for this idk what ill ever do with it but i love it.

i was aware that just kinda. IN GENERAL petstores are no good in telling you what an animal actually need and i guess like— i kinda never really thought about birds? like ive read a little bit about parrots and how destructive they can be but i never really read too much about them haha. and yeah it makes a lot of sense that a bird would need a big space to be in bc like. they fly. and arent they like not domesticated? like cats n dogs have evolved over however many years to live with humans but birds didnt.

anyway thanks again i love getting asks like this

[straykats]

this or that:

cats or dogs?

winter or summer?

school or work?

pen or pencil?

dirt or sand?

movies or tv shows?

ice cream or froyo?

would you rather:

be blind or deaf?

have no legs or no arms?

live your current age forever or live a different age forever?

talk to your past self about something or see what someone elses point of view was on something in the past?

only know one language fluently or know 50+ languages but only at a beginners level?

+ random questions

what apocalypse/zombie apocalypse based movie/tv show do you think you could survive in? (examples: the maze runner, walking dead, black summer, z nation, the 100, attack on titan, etc.)

if you could make one fictional character someone real in your life who would you choose? (could be from a cartoon, tv show, movie, book, etc and if their being portrayed by a real person this is with the assumption that theyll both exist but be two completely different people who very strangely look EXACTLY alike lol)

once again, under the cut for length!! gonna ramble a bit too for each i am so sorry but tyvm

cats > dogs!!!!!!! i do love both but aHHHHHH ive accepted that i am a cat person. its weird but i used to feel pressured into saying im a dog person bc everyone i knew had a dog? and i never really had any contact w cats either so that explains a lil bit but !! KJADVKJDNVJKDNVKJ i want a cat so bad and theres a cat cafe in my city but its a bit car for me rip but im really eager to go at least once!! but cats are scary when u hold them bc they're so.. small.. inside.. like.. their skeleton.. so small... im so scared like they feel so fragile and i know they're capable but still

winter > summer !! i love the rain and i dont love the cold but i hate the heat (esp australian summers) so !!!! like eyah winter sucks when you bave plans but as someone who rarely has plans i am Okay With That. summer is wHACK because you can be in short sleeves and you'll still be so uncomfy like tmi maybe but yknow when u're in shorts or smth and u sit on a chair for too long and u stand up and its like peeling a sticker off tupperwear without the ripping bit??? yeah bruh summer aint it for me

school > work...? maybe? i'm unemployed (im looking but most places are like !!! experience needed !!!! babes im asking u for experience) so idk but i do enjoy learning (without the assessments etc) so??? but work doesnt seem too bad... if you're allowing a "neither" answer, i shall choose that.

pen < pencil. i think. pencils flow smoother? i use pen more because its clearer/easier to see and bc habit and also people dont accept pencil for documents and assignments so yknow. but writing with pencil is more satisfying for me.

dirt or sand? babes (wait i've called u babes a few times im sorry if youre uncomfy w that! if u want, lmk and i'll change it) what is this question i have never ever EVER encountered this question before. but.. i think... sand... i'm thinking of dirt as soil and sand combined so.. just sand..

movies or tv shows? OH MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN uh. depends? somethings are better as a movie and some are tv shows. i think i have more comfort/favourite tv shows as movies so maybe tv shows.. although i /am/ categorising anime and kdramas into tv shows.

ice cream > froyo. i havent had much froyo tbh but from the few times i have, i think i pref. ice cream..

would you rather:

be blind or deaf? blind. i enjoy listening to and find comfort in music way too much. I can also play instruments by ear and learn to adapt to not having sight so! i've grown up surrounded by music too much for me to not be able to have it in my life.

have no legs or no arms? no legs, i think.

live your current age forever or live a different age forever? different age lmaoooo but also i', saying this assuming that living my age forever or living a different age forever comes with the struggles of that age? i'm 19 rn and unemployed and have a few personal things going on and the expectations that are on me are a bit uhhh bc i can't exactly meet all of them so if i had to stay this age with my current experiences, i would rather a different age, one where everything is a bit more organised? but if i can stay 19 forever but still change my circumstances as time progresses then idm that.. so depends on what being a certain age forever means, if that makes sense.

talk to your past self about something or see what someone elses point of view was on something in the past?

only know one language fluently or know 50+ languages but only at a beginners level?

aw man im bilingual and i consider myself pretty fluent in both my languages (eng and viet), but viet im more fluent speaking than reading/writing? if i only knew english fluently (thus not being fluent in viet) i would be really disconnected because speaking viet is such a big part of who i am and my everyday life so its ahhhh... but 50 languages on a basic level...? how basic are we talking..? like conversational basic or like only knowing a few phrases? hm.

+ random questions

what apocalypse/zombie apocalypse based movie/tv show do you think you could survive in? (examples: the maze runner, walking dead, black summer, z nation, the 100, attack on titan, etc.) //// the maze runner maybe but only if we're including the first book/movie and i dont need to go into the maze LMAOOOO i aint got that ya protagonist energy in me. attack on titan... i'm not up to date so i've no idea whats going on in the recent season, but i don't think i could do that. the knowledge of titans on the other side of the wall would make me go bonkers HHAAHA. uhhh i can't think of any other apocalypse mvies/shows etc off the top of my head that i've watched/read so between tmr and aot, i would choose tmr, because at least then i wouldn't be aware of the outside world and i would believe being inside is all i have yknow? like even in aot if i believed that, the titans are too scary. im not saying those spider things in tmr arent scary but idk i'd jsut rather that AHAHA

if you could make one fictional character someone real in your life who would you choose? (could be from a cartoon, tv show, movie, book, etc and if their being portrayed by a real person this is with the assumption that theyll both exist but be two completely different people who very strangely look EXACTLY alike lol) // omg no stop i've like. this question always stresses me out wdym just one i have too many comfort characters ahfbhdbavkdhva BUT alec lightwood! ... as he is portrayed in the book, but with the appearance of matthew daddario. i just.. yeah. alec :(

ty for sending in these questions!!! i enjoyed going through them very much!!

[bunny-heels]

actually here are my gman headcanons because 💜💜💜💜 mon toll ill ness luv

(this goes with the theory of him being a shu'ulathoi) because hes a Shu'u he literally came out looking the way he does, like how some dogs are born looking old as hell

he makes fun of so many people he doesnt like behind their backs. u dont understand how many times hes made himself chuckle from the jokes he has about Gordon or Breen

on that; he fuckin HATED Breen. he hated him the near moment they started having conversations at Black Mesa. he HAAAATED the fact that Breen just did not give a shit about what the Combine were doing to the species they were enslavin'. especially the Shu'us.

so yes he also hates the Combine. this is basically revolving around the line of code "misunderstood servant of the people" from HL:S

more of a general headcanon+theory, but the Vorts arent actually there to stop his plans. they were hired by his Employers to make sure he didnt go overboard with his ideas.

which brings me to this; he doesnt hate the Vorts. he just finds them very annoying

he 50% loves himself but also 50% hates himself. but he doesnt realize that he hates himself.

he prides himself a lot in what he does. he likes how powerful and intimidating he is. he likes how he can scare people and do what he wants with the abilities he has.

but, he also is aware of how much people despise him. he knows how hated he is amongst the Combine and even the very few humans that know of his existence. he knows that if anyone were given the chance theyd kill him on the spot

he doesnt see it as a bad thing tho. in fact hes convinced himself to take pride with how hated he is. his brain basically goes "everyone fuckin hates you and wishes youd go away forever! isnt that fuckin sick?" and hes like "hell yeah lol"

he gets jealous a lot about the relationships human have with each other, despite the fact that his Employers are pretty much his parents, but he doesnt feel like hes very close to them. all of this he doesnt realize is bad because like, yknow, all the shit he does

also he's autistic. MAJORLY autistic. this mans stims so much when hes not watching people. he loves to crack his fingers and levitate things and say certain words or make sounds. also its why he doesnt realize how terrible some things are about his life or how hes viewed.

im out of ideas but yeah there you go

[lisforlobotomy]

I'm riding shotgun in the car earlier this afternoon, window down, thoughts somewhere else, as they usually are, when we pull to a stop at a busy intersection red light. I can already sense something unwanted happening to my left, some kind of dramatic stirring. There is a stopped car with 2 men outside of it, huddled over this lifeless lump. Fuck. Someone hit a dog in the street and now hes just here, on display.

"Oh no..." This man hit a midsized, blonde, mixed breed dog is laying on his side, flecked with spatters of blood that was beginning to congeal in the Texas humidity. Slicks of tufts of short hair pointed in all directions. The amount of blood was alarming to me; it was all around him in these large splotches that were vibrating in contrast with his bright pale fur and making this glowing halo. His blood had probably been ejected out of the wrong orifices upon impact to make a frame around him. His eyes were these huge black orbs that looked like a dolls eyes, open and bugged staring straight up into the sky, fixed and focused on nothing. It was almost peaceful. We all know that almost doesn't count.

My hand clutched my throat, "Oh my god...no..." We made our left turn with the green light and I couldn't take my eyes away, I hated that I had to look because I knew I was only adding to the blooming, hollow, ache behind my sternum and taking part in my own mental abuse but I couldn't stop. I turned my body to hold the scene that was now shifting and settling into the rear window. "That's horrible...I hope they don't just leave him there..." I'm turned away from my partner who is diving because I'm embarrassed at my tears and I'm angry that I cant push them back into my eye sockets with my fists and control them like I try to control everything else around me and Im angry that I feel embarrassed for simply feeling for another living thing...admittedly too much.

When I moved here a couple of years ago, I was made aware immediately of the huge problem here in Oak Cliff with stray animals that no one cares for and animals that have owners but are not cared for enough. They arent kept inside out of painful natural elements or kept out of busy streets and are allowed to roam unprotected. No one spays or neuters their pets either so its just this steady multiplicity of unwanted animals that move in little packs and are left to roll the dice everyday in an overpopulated cesspool of a city populated by...well...not the "best" members of society.

To put in layman's terms, I live in a poor, uneducated, crime infested shithole of a part of town filled with hard, shitty, uncaring people. And its fine because I love the rawness of my neighborhood, and the constant frantic struggling and everyones wing flapping and leg twitching to survive but it is not without the shameful things that I cannot stand up for even though I am always a champion for the things that the rest of the upperclass world looks down upon. Some things are simply ugly with no redeeming qualities and the mistreatment of aninals is one of them.

It reflects how the human majority regards the creatures around us: without thought, with disregard, and with a "not my problem" mindset. All of the things I hate and cannot and will not accept or respect. We are supposed to protect them, we are supposed to be their saviors as much as they save us with their unquestioning worship and predictability. We are the most intelligent beings here and yet a lot of us cant even afford compassion or foresight and it keeps me awake at night with nausea. People like me are keeping the makers of Prozac and Xanax's stocks forever in the clouds. And we still feel helpless when the drugs effects wear away with the dawn.

I dont know where this rant goes or belongs but it had to escape me so its here and I'm sorry for it's ugly theme but I didnt feel like carrying it all by myself to blister up and leave pock marks on my soul. And I want others to be disgusted. Because when humans are disgusted too many times, they break and take care to avoid doing dsigusting and careless things. Dare to dream, at least...

I hope it came fast. I hope it came like a a crashing wave. I hope he wasn't even aware of his traumatic, deconstruction in front of the eyes of the world on the alter of a shitty inner city intersection. I hope he thought it was a dreaming with his ink pooled eyes filled with sky. And I hope he knows somehow that despite his probable lack of belonging here that at least one person saw him for a moment and hurt for him.

I saw you.

[edwardashley]

Tepi Watches The Terror Ep 1.

alright so here’s the first in a 10 part series ig. always been tangentially aware abt the Terror and i know 3 things. 1) based on real ppl 2) there’s a monster!!!! and 3) Hickey is gay evil rat man. so i didnt know much. but i DID know that when i watched it i’d probably like it a lot so i put it off waiting for the Right Time. Now is that time.

Let’s start with episode 1 . . .

oh jeez already there’s some grizzle white men im gonna have a hell of a time differentiating characters on this show

i hope this inuit language here is authentic

are sailors recquired to acknowledge and say “captain” when the captain is around or is that just like? exposition writing

THERES HICKEY

omg Jared Harris accent time i love it

love the juxtaposition of the officers dinner with the rest of the crew (what are the non-officers group called?) how are there so many officers tho.... what do they..... do all day

also how has their like fancy china and glasses no broken presumably this shipped has gone through some gales

dla;kfjdlkjf i CANNOT take this coughing up blood thing seriously it looks so silly

my roommate walked in and said “this opening looks like black sails meets mad men”

im absolutey fucking LIVING for these wide green screen shot tho like. the overwhelming whiteness? I LOVE how desolate and lost it makes them look/feel

also the snow on everything is so fun like it makes it feel gritty and Real but like? in a refreshing way that we havent seen in martime media before

why does the dog not have a little coat ala Snowy in Tintin and the Shooting Star. arent you homosexuals? don’t you make your dog matching coats like Tintin?

I’ve only had Goodsir for 5 minutes and if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone in this room and also myself (i know bad things are going to happen rip to me i guess)

i would also like to have Goodsir whisper to me on my deathbed

oH DUDE WTF THAT HALLUCINATION FREAKED ME TF OUT??? oh JEEZ if im already getting scared from the first ep this does not bode well for me akldjfldkasjf

my roommate leaves saying “this is too overwhelming for me” lol

my thoughts while Jared Harris is explaining his sailing route. must dialogue be interesting? is it not enough to want to see Jared Harris existing?

oh he’s so awkward god bless i will kiss crozier on the nose

“abandon the erebeus” oh TOBIAS MENZIES IS NOT HAPPY

really dig this vintage diving suit

oH FUCKNIG SHIT AHHHHHH!! COLLINS ID BE HYPERVENTILATING TOO?

i mean congrats to The Terror 2018 for somehow hitting fear of small space and fear of open spaces AND fear of being hunted AT THE SAME TIME didnt htink that was possible but quality horror right there

Collins needs a hug :(

wait so Sir John and Tobias Menzies still wear their full uniforms even when they eat meals alone together? seems over kill

the lighting is so white.... i cannot.... i cannot tell who anyone is jesus christ. all these duedes burying this dude? who are they? the dialogue then was like “hickey is here” and im like HE IS???? undenerneath all that clothing? bundle him up. like a burrito. has anyone done like a pre-school AU for this im just the captains like. leading a chain of kids through the snow and you can only see their noses under their puffy parkas, and theyre all hanging onto a rope lol.

this show better give me some tasty class difference drama

oh that episode felt so fast whoah? okay time to make dinner and then on to ep 2 so expect a write up in like 3 hours or so :)

[shametheshadow]

It's been a while. A lot of shit's been going on since I was last kinda active. Sorry, I dont remember how to hide this under a read more line... feel free to scroll past if you arent in the mood for existential whinging. I got a new job and it's pleasant. The people are nice. It's still food, but it's at a fancy restaurant where the management actually cares and tries to keep their crew happy. The hours could be better and I'm currently sick of salads with how many I've made. They give hours based on reliability and if you're a hard worker who is nice to work with. But like... everybody is nice and hard working so it's hard to just muscle in sometimes. But on the positive side I've dropped ten pounds, probably thanks to how light my wallet is. Had an issue with my little brother. Well, there's been an unspoken issue for years that I've been trying to just give him space on, but it finally came to a head. I called him out and he said some pretty hurtful things. I saw him on Christmas, but it wasnt the same. I think it kind of damaged something between us, or at the very least it certainly has me. I think, as people, we build these pillars of absolute truths into our identities. The things we know without a doubt, that we can rely on to stay true even when things are bad. Like, that the sky is blue or that a parent we have will always love us. When those truths are shaken they really make you wonder what else could be wrong or if there was ever any truth in it to begin with. For me, no matter how bad I felt or hated myself, I knew I could be a good sister. I'd throw myself down for it. I have done so, unfortunately, many times before. We all see the world a little differently, so my truth may not be the truth someone else sees. I dont know whether that makes it any better, but I certainly feel unsure about more things now than I used to. Some days I even feel like giving up on our relationship. I'm just too tired, too worn down, and I don't think I can handle being called a failure again. Which sucks, because I dont really want to. I just want to know how to fix it, even though I'm not sure I have any more energy to try again if it's just going to lead to another failure. And on top of all of that my bio dad and all those siblings are tasting the bitter consequences of their actions. My youngest sister got taken away from her parents because instead of breaking up and being adults about it they have to be petty and cowardly. One has unchecked anger issues mixed with plenty of excuses and the other thinks she's owed some sort of respect despite her immature actions. Thing is, I've had plenty of talks with my bio dad about the effects their toxic relationship have on his 6 year old daughter. He knows. He isnt stupid or blind. He'd just rather keep it going despite everyone's unhappiness and dig a deeper hole so he doesn't have to risk losing custody of his daughter if they break up. And here we are now. With his daughter taken away and given to our 21 year old sister who doesn't have a clue. And they've failed to regain custody once already. And you know the fucking hilariously tragic part of it? Me and my sister Des are the only two without some sort of record so nobody else in the family can help. Just a fucking warning for any teens out there who think being a gangster is cool, life always has consequence. Doing drugs, selling pills, pimping, stealing cars, assault, having unregistered weapons... my family has probably done just about anything. Apparently my bio dad's stepfather even threatened to shoot my grandma once. There's an argument to made about the environment they all grew up in, but I really wish people would just have the self awareness to realize that things will always find a way to bite you in the ass and it's it big enough then it'll get the people around you too. I normally get my sister on weekends, but I need to work Saturdays as a requirement for my employment. I try to cut it short so I can be there when they drop her off, but half the time they dont and send her somewhere she isnt supposed to go. I'm risking my job trying to be there when I'm needed, just for them to change their mind at the last second because I wasnt home soon enough. They'd rather risk losing our sister to the system by breaking the rules. CPS doesn't play around. I've had to tell them two or three times that I couldn't take our sister because I was sick or dealing with some really stressful family stuff that Koral didnt need to be there to see. Every time I feel like the punishment is that they stop letting me see her by not bringing her over anymore. Then out of the blue they call on a weekday and ask if I can take her because she has a day off or something. I have never once said no but every time it sends me into an anxiety attack because I can't handle being kept in the dark until they need me. It's got me so worked up that sometimes I genuinely wish I had never been told my dad wasnt my real dad. Of course, I know that by knowing I can help a little girl who needs help, but I wont lie and say that I never wished I didn't have time deal with any of it. I got the news today that my bio dad is in trouble for something else, though they wouldn't say what. So they arent going to give him custody until that's settled at the very least. Shortly into it my sister had asked me to take over the guardianship. I was so out of the loop that I thought the question was absurd. I thought they'd pull it together and get her back in a short time, so what would the point of moving her to another town and school be? How would I go about that? What would the home requirements be? Would I be able to provide for the both of us? I wouldn't be able to leave work until 4 at the earliest shift, so would after school stuff be best or daycare? There's so much that goes into taking care of a kid to just spring that question onto someone. Now it's been four or five months and I'm hating the idea that she's stuck there in the middle of it all more and more. People keep telling me I should take her. Even my manager after I broke down and told him everything after my sister's call left me a mess at work, said that I would be the better option. I know what it's like to be fought over in custody battles and I understand way too well the fear of being taken away from your home as well as what it's like to change schools. I dont want that for Koral. I dont even know if I would be the better option. I talked to my cousin, whom I live with, about it for a while last night and she said she wouldn't be opposed to having Koral with us... but I feel bad making this her issue too. I want what is best for my sister. She's way too smart. You know when unqualified pet owners get a dog breed that is really smart and they struggle to meet the needs to keep it entertained so it just makes trouble? That is what my sister is like. My family has their strengths, but Koral is 6 and could run circles both physically and mentally around them. It might be "funny" now, but Lansing itself is a shitty influence on people and by the time she's a teenager and wants to go to a party, nothing is going to keep her from getting out short of bars on the windows and doors. The only thing stopping her from doing it now is motive. But would I do any better? I genuinely dont know. I wish I could talk to my brother about it. He knows where I come from and, even if he thinks I failed, he could at least tell me how to be better so I dont fuck up again for a little girl who is in a situation similar to one we were in. I asked Des today if she wanted to talk to their case worker about transfering guardianship. She said she's have to talk to her dad... which is bullshit. He lost the right to dictate where Koral goes when he fucked up. How is he supposed to be motivated to fix this if the only thing that has changed is that she doesn't sleep in her bedroom anymore? He shouldn't see her when he wants to or be able to say what happens to her. And I dont say that because I think he shouldn't ever be able to, because I want him to step it up, I just feel like he wont if things keep going as they are. I dont want to lose my sister to the system. Supposedly the social worker said that Koral also has to stay in the same school and can't see anyone not on the already approved list of people for the sake of consistency... but that's stupid. I know that changing schools can be traumatizing, and if Lansing was a good place to live and raise a kid, then maybe I'd try to make that work, but it isnt. So it makes me wonder that if I came to the table with a clearly stable, appealing plan would they change their minds? If it were my choice, I'd have her in therapy to help deal with everything, maybe a sport like gymnastics or whatever else she might be interested in to keep her engaged. I'm planning a kids d&d session for her and another kiddo that she plays with when she's here because last time she found my monster manual and got obsessed. And I know it wont be all good. She's a handful and a brat, and she can be a force of nature when she doesn't get her way, but I've been an older sister since I was five and my family didnt out up with bratty behavior. I know how to deal with it, and I also know how to use the internet and other resources to learn. Hell, I live with a child therapist/youth minister. I know I could do it. Even if it ended up being a permanent thing. I'm torn between the fear of not being enough at the expense of my sister's wellbeing and knowing that I'd gladly twist myself into a pretzel to try and do right. But when it comes to other people, especially a kid, is trying enough? Good intentions don't equal a quality of living. So yeah, that's where I am right now. Trying to be better and figure out who I am while also being incredibly stressed out and lost. If you read through this, thank you for listening to this TED talk. I'm open to advice.

[orcinus-ocean]

1. Vaccination And Immunization Are The Same

 What the vet says:

“Prevention is better than cure. Vaccination is the way we cause animals to become resistant (immune) to infections. A vaccine consists of a modified or killed virus or bacterium. It is prepared in such a way that the body’s defenses recognise it as a threat and react to it as if it were a real infection. The body will produce antibodies which are proteins which recognise and attach to chemicals on the surface of the organism, killing it. These antibodies are then available to kill any of the real infection organisms the animal might pick up during its life. They are lost gradually and the body needs occasional reminders (booster vaccinations) to keep the antibody level high enough to prevent real infections. Vaccination reactions are very rare. A booster is recommended each year.“

Our issue with this advice:

The body doesn’t react to a vaccine the same way it would to the real disease.

When exposed to a real virus, the body forms immunity by filing that information away in memory cells. The memory cells, called cellular immunity, are responsible for mounting a quick attack the next time they are faced with the same disease and the body, armed with the knowledge the memory cells have stored away, quickly neutralizes the disease by triggering circulating antibodies. This is why humans only get chicken pox once and dogs can only get parvovirus once. After the first episode, they’re protected for life.

Vaccines try to emulate this, but they don’t do a complete job.

Vaccines stimulate circulating antibodies, called humoral immunity, and they bypass the memory cells. This creates an artificial immunity called humoral bias and this essentially turns the immune system inside out.

To learn more about this effect, read our article on Vaccines And The Immune System.

But the real problem with this statement is their desire for antibody levels to be high. High antibody levels mean high levels of circulating antibodies – or humoral bias.

The higher the titer, the more chronically inflamed the body is.

This humoral bias and resulting chronic inflammation result in many of the autoimmune diseases we commonly see in dogs today: allergies, cancer, arthritis, diabetes, bowel disease and many, many more. Vaccine reactions may be rare, but the risk and severity of chronic disease that vaccines cause increase with each and every vaccine given.

2. Vaccinating Puppies At 6 Weeks Of Age

 What the vet says:

“Your puppy vaccination course should be started at 6 weeks of age. A primary vaccination is first given and a booster 2-4 weeks later. This course must be completed before your puppy is fully protected. Unfortunately, the protection provided by vaccinating is not life-long and hence an annual booster is recommended. At XXXX veterinary clinic we will send you out an annual reminder to ensure your pet is kept up to date and protected.”

Our issue with this advice:

Vaccinating a puppy at 6 weeks? According to veterinary vaccine researcher Dr Jean Dodds, only 30% of puppies will be protected from a vaccine given at 6 weeks of age.

100% of them will be exposed to disease when taken to the vet clinic for that shot.

Moreover, vaccines create immune suppression for 10 to 14 days.

So, choosing to vaccinate a puppy at 6 weeks means exposing him to the most disease-ridden location he could possibly be in – the vet clinic – while creating immune suppression at the same time. Your puppy is much more likely to get the disease he is being vaccinated for, and all in exchange for a 30% chance the vaccine will work.

That’s a pretty high gamble with a puppy’s life.

The reason the vaccine is unlikely to work at that young age is because the puppy is protected against disease with maternal antibodies – immunity passed down from his mother. This protection wanes over time, but is still pretty strong at 6 weeks. That’s why in most cases the vaccine doesn’t work at this age: the maternal antibodies are strong enough to block the vaccine.

Here is problem number two with vaccinating at that age: the maternal antibodies will be less effective after the vaccine is given because vaccines cause immune suppression.

We also object to this statement: “This course must be completed before your puppy is fully protected.” There are two problems with this statement actually.

You can’t be partially protected: immunity is like being a virgin, you either are or you aren’t. Either the immune system has filed that information away or it hasn’t: there is no grey area, you are either immune or you are not.

As for the other problem, a course of vaccines is not necessary: it only takes ONE vaccine to protect a puppy – ONE AND DONE.

For more information on this, you might want to read Taking The Risk Out Of Puppy Shots.

3. Lifelong Immunity

 What the vet says:

“Primary pet vaccinations do not cover your animal for the rest of their life, so annual booster vaccinations are required for continued protection.”

Our issue with this advice:

Wow, bad grammar aside, there’s one very big problem with this statement – a monumental problem of biblical proportions!

Not only do core vaccines last for years, some for the life of the animal, vets have known about this for about forty years!

We won’t even go into why annual vaccination is a very, very bad choice – because vaccinating every three years or every five years is also a bad choice based on unsound science.

Why would you vaccinate every year if the minimum immunity starts at 7 years? Why put your dog at risk?

Nuff said.

4. Revaccination Is Backed By Research

 What the vet says:

“At XXXX Veterinary Hospital, we are aware of some of the controversy currently surrounding immunization protocols. However, until industry leaders and experts, such as the vaccine manufacturers and the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA), arrive at some definitive conclusions, we believe it to be in the best interest of your pet and the general public to continue to adhere to our established immunization protocols. We recommend that your pet should receive annual boosters.”

Our issue with this advice:

Controversy? Industry leaders and experts?

Here is the crux of the problem: these vets are waiting for the vaccine manufacturers, AAHA and the AVMA to decide how often to vaccinate. Don’t you think that all of these entities have a financial interest in how often you vaccinate your dog?  Are they capable of making an unbiased recommendation?

Apparently, they aren’t.

The report of the American Animal Hospital Association Canine Vaccine Taskforce in JAAHA (39 March/April 2003) includes the following information for vets:

Misunderstanding, misinformation and the conservative nature of our profession have largely slowed adoption of protocols advocating decreased frequency of vaccination; Immunological memory provides durations of immunity for core infectious diseases that far exceed the traditional recommendations for annual vaccination.

This is supported by a growing body of veterinary information  as well-developed epidemiological vigilance in human medicine that indicates immunity induced by vaccination is extremely long lasting and, in most cases, lifelong.

And the American Animal Hospital Association’s own Preventive Healthcare Guidelines state:

Tailor vaccination protocols to your pet. While some vaccines, like rabies, are required by law because of the risk to humans, others may be necessary for your pet’s lifestyle. In some scenarios, a titer to previous vaccines can be measured to help decide if a booster vaccination is necessary. Your veterinarian will know what’s best for your pet.

If you would like to read more about how vets arbitrarily chose the period of three years for revaccination, even though they knew back in 2003 that vaccines lasted likely for the life of the dog, read Lifelong Immunity And The AAHA Revaccination Guidelines.

5. Your Vet Is A Vaccine Expert

What the vet says:

“Annual boosters are painless for your pet, and help to fight off contagious illnesses throughout the year. The staff at XXXX Veterinary Clinic are expertly trained in the welfare of your pet.”

Our issue with this advice:

Any vet who advocates annual vaccinations – or even uses the term booster – is clearly not expertly trained in immunization or the welfare of your pet.

In fact, most vets are woefully inept when it comes to understanding immunity. (We already talked about this above)

They are very good at giving vaccines – yet most vets are not taught very much about immunity at all.

Perhaps that’s because immunity is taught by the vaccine manufacturers. It’s no wonder that vets are well armed with needles yet lack the knowledge or motivation to question just what damage those needles are doing.

And even if they acknowledge the research that proves annual vaccines are unnecessary, most are not willing to lose the profits those yearly visits bring in.

If you would like to learn more about how little vets feel they were taught about vaccination, and the diseases they’ve seen vaccines cause in their patients, read our ground-breaking featured article, Vets On Vaccines.

In the end, it doesn’t matter whether vets continue to dispense this bad advice out of ignorance or for financial gain (most veterinary practices earn 14% of their income from vaccines). Either way, the bad advice is out there and dog owners – and dogs – will fall victim to that bad advice every day.

If you find your vet dispensing bad vaccine advice, don’t ignore it.  Perhaps reading and sharing What Every Vet (And Pet Owner) Should Know About Vaccines will help you both to begin understanding that immunity involves more than just shots and boosters.