#so many people are obsessed with that song and i just never understood the appeal

[ditterbutter]

.

[placebythering]

Okay, so.

Steve and Robin's song is obviously First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes. The Stobin Glasses Fic aside that ruined so many people (apparently), this song really is theirs.

Let me get into this. Steve and Robin are quite... lonely. Steve very obviously is because of his absent parents and the fact that his first genuine friends were children, who he only really became friends with after he broke up with Nancy. And then let's also add the fact that his friendship with those kids is more brotherly/sisterly (or, protector type) than anything.

So yeah, Steve doesn't have a (real) friend his age. He's lonely, we know it. But Robin was also very lonely too. In 'Rebel Robin' she does have friends and people she talks to but she also very often mentions that she feels things differently and doesn't really think her emotions are being understood. And then she also mentions that she hopes she finds her people. Specifically friends who would stick with her through anything and a girl she'd have a hopeless crush on. This is if you think of RR as at least semi-canon.

BUT, even if you don't, there's the added element of Robin being a lesbian in the 80s. The 80s!! We all already know what was happening in the 80s. Who was president in the 80s. Robin had to walk around Hawkins and probably see Reagan posters in the house of her closest friends. It was brutal for her. She was lonely.

So you got a kid who was popular but then admitted that it was all bullshit anyway. Whose parents have clearly abandoned him in every way. Whose friends were children he only had ties to because of the upside down. Who very clearly regrets what he's said and done when he was younger. And then you got this other kid who likes girls and is very afraid of the consequences of that. Who feels too much and nothing at the same time. Who just wants someone to finally understand her.

Put them together then. Genius idea. Absolutely.

yours is the first face that i saw, i think i was blind before i met you // these things take forever, i especially am slow. but i realized that i need you, and i wondered if i could come home // this is the first day of my life, i'm glad i didn't die before i met you. but now i don't care i could go anywhere with you and i'd probably be happy // maybe this time is different i mean, i really think you like me

The entire song is them, obviously, but those specific lyrics are just so how their friendship works. If you choose to read more into it the way I do then good, but you gotta stop reading now if not.

Steve obviously tried to impress Robin. Even if he never admitted to doing it. At the very least, he wanted her approval. Or her tolerance. Again, if you take RR as semi-canon then you know Robin told him there was no universe that they were ever going to be friends. But we all know Steve's type. He doesn't go after people who are exactly like him (popular, jock, etc.). There's probably a lot of reasons for that or whatever. I think the bulk of it was that he understood exactly how those types of people act, and he didn't really find any of those shit appealing. ANYWAY, he wanted to be closer to Robin.

And then the whole Upside Down thing happened and Steve probably realized, oh, shit, I should probably take the chance to confess now and so he did but Robin. Well.

It was probably the scariest moment of her life. She faced down her torturer and potential murderer. She thought she was going to die alone in that Russian secret base and no one would ever know what happened to her or have a body to bury. She saw the gate to the Upside Down being opened underneath the very same mall she went to everyday for the whole summer. And, still, looking at Steve and explaining to him that the reason she was obsessed with him was not because she liked him but because she liked the girl who was looking at him was the greatest fear she had to battle against. It was simultaneously the bravest and stupidest thing she could possibly do.

And then Steve just accepted her. And then he mocked her taste in women.

And, okay, you might say "oh way to make her coming out about Steve again". Disclaimer: I Am A Lesbian. Disclaimer 2: a huge part of her sadness stems from the fact that no one is going to understand her. She wants to find someone who WILL. Who would know who she is inside and out and then love her anyway. And in that era she probably knew how difficult that would have been. But she did it anyway because maybe, maybe this guy--who she spent 8 hours talking to while trapped in an elevator, who she thought was dead and tied up to her for God knows how long, who bared his heart open to her twice within the span of hours, who she learned was a completely different person from who she thought he was--could finally be that person she was looking for.

And he was. He really was.

We get to season 4 and see more glimpses into their friendship. We already know they got jobs together, but then we find out that Steve wakes up early (if not everyday then at least he was willing to wake up early for her) to drive her to school which is hours before his shift at FamVid starts. He knows about her crush on Vickie and has been checking Vickie to see if Robin could confess to her. They talk about combining because then all their problems would be solved. She tells him about her fears and he tells her to have hope. She jokes about spiders nesting in his hair and he lets he ramble without interruption. She worries that he has rabies and he tries not to be disappointed that he was wrong about Vickie.

But, mostly, there's an implication that for months after Starcourt, all they had was each other. They explicitly state in the show that Robin and Nancy didn't become friends until the events of S4, and because they're broken up and Steve is no longer in Hawkins High then he and Nancy probably haven't talked much (if not at all). Jonathan moved away, so it only left Steve and Robin talking to each other and having to cope with what they went through and what's going to happen to them after.

They're so very I'm glad I didn't die before I met you. They get each other in a way no one else ever would. The way Robin's voice started breaking when she called out to Nancy after Steve got dragged down. The way she called out to Steve first when she got pulled by the vines at the Creel house and how Steve froze up just the slightest bit when he saw her in danger. Steve is important to Robin in the same way that Robin is important to Steve. They stick together and are happy about that because, really, they don't much need anyone else. I mean, they do, of course cause they can't fill every role in each other's lives. But whoever they get with, friendship-wise or relationship-wise, will have to accept that Steve and Robin are kind of like twins you can't separate. Nothing quite bonds like torture chambers and dirty bathroom confessions while you're both covered in blood and sweat and spit and puke.

Maybe this time is different I mean, I really think you like me. They looked each other in the eye at some point and accepted the fact that it's different from them. It wasn't like Carol and Tommy. It wasn't like Milton. It wasn't like her band friends or Steve's kids. They like each other. They're going to always want each other to be happy. Their friendship may have started off rocky, but that's probably what they think is beautiful about it. That they've seen the worst and choose to stay anyway. And will continue to do so. Sometimes, the best relationship you can have is with your friend. There doesn't need to be anything more to it.

And, finally. I'm sorry for the glasses fic. My bad.

[ressyfaerie]

With Takao's Japanese voice actor singing the opening for G-Rev I've always had the head canon for an idol au where Takao is the hot idol that everyone loves and Kai the business man who's life was business until he he somehow hears Takao singing and realises he needs to meet the person behind the voice. I love your writing tattoos was 1 of my fave fics

Thanks for the Tattoo love! Aaaah! <3 

IDOL AUs ARE MY FAV

I have so many hoppin around my brain its ridiculous! 

Ive written a little idol blurb before and posted it to tumblr, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to find it again LOL

Anyways! Lets see where this goes!

Kai Hiwatari had never understood pop culture.

When his peers and co-workers talked about popular movies or music he had no clue what they were talking about.

And he definitely didn’t care.

When schoolgirls cooed over their favourite boybands he grimaced. He didn’t understand the appeal, and to him, the music wasn’t even good.

When men his age idolized girly popstars he felt it was just creepy.

He was offended when people mistook his dislike for the type of attraction for a hatred of music.

“I don’t hate music. I hate the obsession with the creators.”

He would say something along those lines every time.

“Why would anyone want to wait outside someone's house… just because they made some really good sounding noises?”

He would roll his eyes.

“It doesn’t make any sense.”

In his early twenties, he still couldn’t understand it.

He had dated people and found a fascination with them, but never felt anything close to this type of worship people had for celebrities.

He sat at his big desk. He had some time between paperwork. He could hear some music echoing through the hallway. It must have been coming from someone's office.

It sparked a philosophical debate in his mind.

He decided he just wasn’t that type of person.

And that was that.

Whoever it was that continued to play the music was getting on his nerves.

A week later it had gotten louder. Kai squeezed the bridge of his nose, debating on making a noise complaint.

Instead, he dove back into his paperwork, distracting himself.

He found himself bobbing his head slightly.

He stopped when he realized what he was doing.

He frowned, it was kind of… catchy.

Kai listened, straining his neck slightly to absorb every soundwave.

Then the song was over.

He listened all day hoping it would come back, into the next day, and the next.

Until finally—

“That’s it!” Kai quickly pulled out his phone, unlocking it and opening an app.

He had downloaded that app everyone used to find music.

It worked.

“Only You, by Takao Kinomiya… Huh.”

read the rest on archive!

May 13th, 2022 Tumblr Asks! -Tyka- Idol AU - Ressyfaerie - Beyblade [Archive of Our Own]

[lesbiancarat]

Haha its fine! Im book anon for a reason so take all the time you need! Before I start, I wanna apologize for the possible asks you got about the merch and hybe in general. I didn't intend to cause stress and need to be careful bdjahdsj so slap me with a fish!

Onto the ask! But agreed, I mean before the big kpop boom we saw, this was very common. Build a decent fanbase and then move to Japan or China. (Of course sometimes you see INSTANT movement in other countries but that depends on the company and such but you know what I mean) but since we do have the more global kpop era, we may see more companies do America which isn't a bad thing. It makes sense buisness wise so they will jump on it after debut or something. Thus I don't see it a bad thing for kpop groups to promote in America because hey, if in Korea they do sell western artist music who also tour there, kpop groups can also do the same ya know?

Now onto the hybe comment, I will try not to speak too much on it so I will try to summarize. I think my theory is due with merch from their main artist, they think maybe it could work with svt which maybe could but svt has a different fanbase so throwing on random merch won't make fans really want to buy (not saying some won't which kudos to you! As a fan you are allowed to consume what you please except not be a bad apple about it) so thus like the infamous water bottles which was done for bts, they thought why not do it for svt because bts fans sold it out apparently for a 2nd wave of it being sold again. (Which to this day idk why someone in the hybe team thought this was smart. Like...this is just in bad taste imo) I do wanna agree that it appears that hybe doesn't seem to have a proper art team for svt because while sometimes wild, I do know for their main artist they do have thoughtful merch based around say an album concept I recall. Kf course they will make mistakes i.e. the water bottles. I do wish it can improve because even though it is capitalism, I think fans do want decent merch. We have seen interesting ideas like svt making their own magazine and selling it lol. Of course it is hard to please because some fans want subtle merch ideas while others don't mind the vibrant pastel colors we got or some want wild ideas like svt figurines or something. Overall I hope I didn't drag this too much as I just wanted to respond back to you, I agree with many points you said so yeah cx I say let's also wait as this is barely what, a year or even less of svt being under hybe properly. Especially when hybe had its rebranding and expanding so things are being changed, I know fans are worried about this which is valid but let's not panic just yet. Let's come back in a year to this and see what has improved and what hasn't. (OK but peldis sold the boys rings!? :o since when!? I haven't heard of this actually, when did this happen if I may ask?)

Oof yeah sadly with streaming, many view "oh you don't stream it means you aren't a fan" when isn't the case (which is why I personally don't like when certain companies also do "listening parties" which seems a bit ???) I do remember this popped up big in 2017 but many fans called it out so it quiet down a bit. Like we didn't see it so often where fans were causing problems over it so idk why this returned nor what the cause of it was.

But thank you!! It really was a nice closing chapter, I think when I have personal stuff settled I will try maybe get a new bunny? And oohh congrats on the album! (Note to hybe or pledis. Please make the us store a more common thing, it makes things so much easier! Am happy it was at your place quick so kudos to the us store. Oohh wonderful choices! I think for many fans anyone or heaven's cloud seems to be the popular picks? For me, I may have to say game boi or heaven's cloud as well! Those songs make me just so happy? Like game boy is just so creative with the way it was made. As a video game nerd, it is perfection. I could make an essay about this song lol and heaven's cloud is just...wow. I feel so at ease with the song, comfortable and soothed. Like you are on a cloud lol. Also that is totally fine! Rtl was a grower for me (I blame the mv, it didn't do the song jusitice) but it is a bop and can't stop humming the chorus at random moments. Overall a great summer album. Just imagine any of these songs performed live ndjansns

lol don't feel too bad about it! honestly they weren't that bad + i can always delete asks if i really don't want to answer them, i just always get a bit paranoid that things will get out of hand so i may end up getting more serious in those situations OTL

and yeah i agree! i don't think it's a bad thing for groups to promote in the US, as you said, it's similar to groups expanding their fanbase by promoting in china or Japan or other asian counties, it makes sense from a business standpoint and there's nothing wrong with promoting in different countries. i just wish that some kpop stans understood that western and/or global popularity is a bonus and not a requirement for success. while they do have a global appeal, at the end of the day kpop's main audience is korea, and groups that achieve popularity in Korea have already achieved what they set out to do. but there's unfortunately a decent chunk of international fans that prioritize western popularity over anything and can't fathom that a group can be successful without being popular in the US. or they just talk as if their groups western achievements are more valuable than their Korean ones and to me that starts to look like xenophobia... (sorry if I'm repeating anything i said before in regards to this, i feel like i am but I'm too lazy to go back and check OTL)

since you sent this ask hybe released the caratland merch which was actually really nice, and today they also announced that there will be birthday merch for cheol (and presumably all members from here on out). we don't know what the bday merch is yet but some carats are already a bit miffed that hybe is even thinking to capitalize off the boys' birthdays... i bring both of these up bc i feel like the caratland merch proves your point that hybe is capable of designing good and thoughtful merch, and honestly this does reassure me a bit. but on the other hand them trying to capitalize off the boys' birthdays also proves that they still don't fully understand carats wants and priorities as a fanbase. which, if the future of seventeens merch is gonna be quality merch with some shitty cash grabs in between, i can live with that. I'm not gonna like the shitty cash grabs and i think it would be in our best interest as a fandom to not go crazy buying those shitty cash grabs, because if we don't then hybe will hopefully stop wasting their time and put more effort into /quality/. but if we get quality merch for important events like concerts and fanmeetings, i can live with it. as you said too, it can take time for these things to change, and we should all recognize that. but at the same time merch specifically is market driven, so i don't think it's a bad thing if people like @ hybe on twt about any bad merch that comes out in order to drive that change dhfkfj

but also on a maybe more fun note in regards to the merch... with some carats being upset about the bday merch i was thinking about what hybe could do for merch instead that would fill the niche of being at intervals throughout the year that could still be limited time drops but that carats wouldn't be mad at them capitalizing on and then i was like duh! they could literally just make merch off of going seventeen! honestly I'm surprised they haven't yet. maybe not merch for every episode, but they could have a line of permanent gose merch w a basic logo or something and then release limited time merch themed around some of the more popular episodes at various points during the year. I'm actually kind of obsessed with this idea now and for once I'm like hybe/pledis please capitalize off of this!! dhfkgjg

they never actually sold them, but for seventeens 3rd anniversary, pledis planned to sell replicas of seventeens rings. after it was announced carats were understandably upset since the boys worked so hard for those. luckily pledis heard carats concerns and put out an apology and didn't manufacture them in the end. I'm glad that at least they listened to carats even though it would have been better if they had never considered the idea in the first place :(

oh yeah listening parties are definitely just another marketing technique to boost streams. i think like with a lot of marketing techniques, it just depends on the execution. imo if they're done well it can be a good way for fans to connect while listening to an artists music, which is mutually beneficial for the company, but i can totally see a situation where companies get greedy and push it too hard. i don't know anything about what happened with them back in the day, but if you're curious why SVT had listening parties leading up to your choice, they were set up by UMG, the American distributor that SVT worked with for this cb. in this case the listening parties weren't just for boosting streams, but also likely for UMG to gauge interest. SVT isn't officially signed to a US label yet, but UMG's data from the listening parties could be used to show US labels whether or not there's enough interest for them to be signed. which if that happens we'd almost definitely see a more permanent US shop!

ahh yes, once you're ready I'm sure it would be great to have another bunny companion 🥺

yes! heavens cloud and gam3 bo1 are both such feel good songs! my sister actually added heavens cloud to their Spotify after i made them listen to the album in the car dhfkf it's now one of 6 kpop songs they have saved (4 of which are SVT... my influence 💅 DHFJFH) I'm certain we'll see some of the songs from your choice at caratland this year, hopefully it's all of them but I'd especially like to see heavens cloud and wave 👀 I'm also still crossing my fingers for an i wish live performance bc i can't believe my favorite SVT b-side is one of the TWO tracks they haven't performed live not including the new album (the other one being network love, which i would also like to see live!)

[himluv]

Bow & Arrow

Day 3 of 14 Days of Dragon Age Lovers. This one was weird for me, but I did my best to make it work. I hope you guys like it.

Sera was never the quietest girl, like the song said. All these months she’d made her thoughts on Elfy plain. He was stuck up. Elf this, legacy that. Magic, spirits, the Fade. She hated all of it. And while she didn’t hate him, it was a near thing.

Inky on the other hand… well, she liked her. She was little people once. Littler even than she was. Her clan might be too elfy for her tastes, but they lived hard, humble lives. That she understood.

What she didn’t understand was why Riallan would choose Solas. Inky was funny, with a wicked wit she only let out to play sometimes. She was strong, not just with all that lightning, but with her head and her heart. She told the Orlesians what for in Halamshiral and put ‘em in their place.

Sera liked that.

But Solas? He was boring. Too quiet, too obsessed with things that ought to be left alone. He hardly ever joined them in the tavern, and he smiled even less. He was a know-it-all, and so full of himself that Sera had no choice brought to bring him down a peg every now and again.

That time she’d left lizards in his bedroll had been brilliant! Oh, he’d been right pissed for days.

Varric had been the one to let it slip. He’d had a mug too many and he’d made some remark about Riallan and Solas, then wagged his eyebrows at her. She might have thought it just a fun joke, but Dorian had damn near slapped his hand over the dwarf’s mouth to shut him up. That confirmed it.

So now she walked through the desert with them and Cassandra, them none-the-wiser that she knew they were bumping bits. She wanted to figure it out. She wanted to understand what could convince Inky to spend all her free time with someone so… Solas.

She didn’t think it was his looks, not that she was a very good judge. Not that he was unattractive, but he was plain. And bald. And she’d seen him shave so it was on purpose. His eyes were pretty enough, like the water at the Storm Coast, but usually they were just as cold.

No. It couldn’t be his looks.

She’d heard about his painting, had gone to see it one day. It was pretty, all bold colors and strong lines. She liked it, though she couldn’t pick any one thing about it that made her feel that way. It just looked right. She’d struggled to connect the art to the man, but maybe that’s why he was so plain. He put all the interesting bits into the art.

“Trouble ahead,” he said.

She had to admit, he did have a nice voice. Smooth and low and she reckoned it sounded nice whispered in the dark. She unslung her bow and nocked an arrow, scanning for the so called trouble.

Red Templars were everywhere in the Approach, and she was all too happy to stick an arrow in their throats. But she didn’t get much chance; the fight was finished almost as quickly as it’d begun.

Before anyone could move Solas cast a barrier, the magic cool and refreshing as it washed over her. Almost immediately after that, Riallan summoned a cage of purple lightning, trapping the corrupted Templars in an electrified circle. Solas froze another Templar as Sera’s arrow took him in the head, shattering the man dead.

Cassandra finally reached the three Templars, her blade hacking at them with all the fury of a woman betrayed. Solas cast something weird, all green and sickly, like the Fade, and the Templars crashed to the ground, only for Riallan to shoot a fist of stone at them as they stood up.

A marksman managed to doge the fist, and fired a desperate arrow at Riallan. It hit, and she grunted, but didn’t fall. Instead she spun her staff and launched a ball of fire at the man. He froze a second before the fire hit him, another well-timed spell from Solas, and then fell writhing to die in the dirt.

Only then did Riallan drop to one knee.

“Vhenan!” Solas fade stepped to her side, careful hands at her shoulder, where the arrow stuck out from her skin.

She bit her lip and groaned. “It’s not too bad,” she said through her teeth.

Sera and Cassandra stood over them, worried but ultimately useless. They weren’t healers.

Solas frowned. “You are lucky. The arrowhead didn’t hit anything vital.”

She smiled, an ugly thing that looked more pained than happy. “Just a flesh wound?”

He glared at her. “Lay down,” he said.

She obeyed, but went pale with the effort. It hurt more than she let on.

“Do you want something to bite down on?”

She shook her head. “Just get it over with.” She was in pain, but she held his eyes and there was nothing but trust there.

It dawned on Sera that this was not the first time they’d done this particular dance. She was about to say as much when Solas placed one palm on Riallan’s chest. The other took hold of the arrow and yanked in one smooth motion. Inky cried out, a low guttural sound, then rolled away from him onto her side.

“Fenedhis that hurts!”

He examined the arrowhead and let out a relieved sigh. “It does not seem to be poisoned this time.”

“Thank the Creators,” she said. She didn’t sound all that thankful to Sera.

Solas chuckled and rolled her onto her back again. He placed a hand over the wound and Riallan relaxed at the touch. A pale blue glow flickered over his palm, and when he sat back the Inquisitor sighed.

“That’s much better.” She sat up and rolled her shoulder. She hissed.

“We should apply a poultice, to be safe.” He helped her stand and they brushed the sand off their armor.

“As soon as we get to camp,” she said.

He didn’t look like he agreed with that, but he didn’t say so. And then they were off, walking through the desert as if nothing had happened. Sera understood then.

Maybe she couldn’t see the initial appeal, but now she saw the way they fit together. In battle she was a storm, crashing over their enemies, corralling them and bombarding them with elemental attacks. Solas supported those attacks with barriers for his allies and by freezing his foes.

Outside of battle they were just similar enough to be drawn together. Both quiet and bookish, obsessed with the past and elves and magic. But Riallan was a presence. When she walked in the room you noticed, and not just because she was the Inquisitor. There was something magnetic about her, that drew people in and convinced them to help her. She’d used it to her advantage a dozen times as the Herald.

Solas was the opposite. Plain to the point of invisibility, he walked without notice and so saw so much more than anyone realized. It was one thing Sera liked about him. He was sneaky, observant. It reeked of little people, of servants used to being ignored. Not for the first time, she wondered where he’d come from, what his life was before the Inquisition.

But she knew she’d never know the answers. They weren’t for her.

They were for her. Riallan and Solas walked shoulder to shoulder at the head of their group, talking quietly. He was tall, taller than her by at least a head, and though the Inquisitor seemed well enough, his body curved toward her. His concern telegraphed in his walk.

Sera smirked. She got it now. She was the arrow, he was the bow. They were neat on their own, but only really made sense once you put them together.

[gracie-p8-officialblog]

Defending Christine Daae

I never thought I'd have to write a post with that title, let me tell you.

Because when I first heard of Phantom of the Opera, I was under the impression that everybody loved Christine just as much as I did. I mean, how could you help it? Well, I was wrong. It would seem that there are, in fact, people out there who don't share my exact opinion (shock of shocks) and who dislike Christine for various stupid reasons.

Now, I'm not here to point fingers at anyone or to belittle anyone's opinions in anyway, and blah-de-blah [fill in the rest of long boring disclaimer any way you wish]. But I AM here to defend one of my favourite female protagonists in a work of fiction! And defend her I WILL! IN THE NAME OF THE MOON!

Um, pardon me. Don't know how that last sentence got in there.

Now, on the internet, I've heard some flak about Christine, and though I'm not here to make anyone feel bad (see above) I do want to refute those points about her, point-by-point. (Hmm. Redundancy.) One of the biggest points against Christine is her choice to be with Raoul instead of the Phantom, who *ahem* TOTALLY needed her because he had a bad life and he taught her to sing! My opinion?

I don't think that means Christine owes him love. Appreciation and thanks, yes. But not love. The only thing he ever did that was worth any kind of love was letting Christine go. And she isn't some sort of consolation prize! It's NOT her job to fix the Phantom, only he could fix himself!

C'mon people! The two pretty much fit the qualities of an abusive relationship (emotional manipulation, throwing her around, restricting her from seeing other people etc.) And it’s kinda disturbing. “BUT!” You cry, “CHRISTINE REJECTED THE PHANTOM FOR A SHALLOW REASON! HE WAS UGLY!”

While I do understand what you’re coming from, I would like to inform you that it was actually his toxic behaviour towards her and murderous qualities that drove her away from him and made her choose Raoul. In “Final Lair”, she said one of the biggest burns in Gothic thriller history “It’s in your SOUL where the TRUE distortion lies...”  The Phantom's problem isn't with his disfigurement. No, the problem is with what he's allowed his disfigurement to make him. He's become so obsessed with the idea that no one loves him and no one will ever really care for him that he believes anyone who stands remotely in his way is just out to get him. So what does he do? He murders people whom he gets annoyed with. First Buquet, then Piangi, and finally (almost) Raoul. And that is DEFINITELY not okay! 

I think Christine saw him as more of a teacher, or a friend, or a... father figure, in a messed up way... which is more evident in the book on how she is both afraid and sympathetic for the Phantom. 

While not condoning his actions,  I do wish the Phantom could have found someone to love him. Good gracious, his final lines “IT’S OVER NOW THE MUSIC OF THE NIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” makes me tear up every time.  Gah. I'm in danger of sobbing, too, but I really want to get this post done, so I will conquer myself and think of something Funny instead. *thinks* I know! Gerard Butler’s version of the “All I Ask Of You (Reprise)”. That’ll cheer me up and make me laugh XD!

In all seriousness, I know that Erik is unstable and violent. But I also know that he really IS a gentle, misunderstood soul. You can be both, you know. The unstable and violent side of him, unfortunately, triumphed- and his dreams, his desires for love, his castle on a cloud came tumbling down because of it.

And so... onto the next point, another common argument used to bash Christine is that she’s considered to be flat, boring and goes through ZERO development! But in actual fact, there’s so much going on in her head and goes through quite an emotional travesty that it’s almost impossible to call her bland!

She is deeply wounded by the loss of her father, and has this incredible musical talent which stayed in a state of diamond in the rough before being discovered by her “Angel of Music”. He trains her, not realizing that she is becoming the center of an unhealthy obsession, genuinely believing in her naivety that he is some benevolent spirit sent by her father, therefore bringing her a sense of comfort. She is a pious girl, after all, and being religious myself, well, such a reaction from someone who believes like her is believable though naive. Can we blame Christine for that? NO. How is she supposed to guess?

And now, let's talk about "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again", aka. The Christine Empowerment™ song! I feel like the difference between a good portrayal of Christine and a great portrayal of Christine, is based on how good their rendition of this song is. It is a crucial part of the plot. One of the reason The Phantom and Raoul appeal to Christine is because of the connection they represent to her dead father. Of course, Raoul actually knew her father and the Phantom uses his memory to manipulate her. At this point in the show, Christine has become disillusioned with Raoul and is afraid of the Phantom. She realizes through the song that the only way she can’t move forward is through letting go of the past, and getting over the death of her father. This fuels her actions through the rest of the show as it makes her realize that if she wants her happy ending, she must take charge of her destiny and earn her own agency! And the Phantom, trying to use her in the moment where she was probably at her most vulnerable since she is questioning herself about her entire life, only catalyses her decision. She performs in Don Juan Triumphant, because she knows that everything is up to her, and that she cannot let the Phantom keep on destroying her life.

As for her unmasking the Phantom in "Point of No Return", Christine did this in a way to show him that she refused to be controlled by him any longer. It is certainly not the most intelligent thing to do, nor the nicest, but again, her behaviour is explainable. But as said above for Erik, it doesn’t excuse her. And it shows how she was beginning to be able to resist his pull/spell/enchantment/whatever you like to call it on her!

I adore and admire Christine Daae as a character so much, and it was her actions and story arc that really started my love for this story. Christine's ability to love unconditionally and selflessly is so profound. Even though the Phantom put her and everyone else through lots of horrors, she still doesn't hesitate to show kindness towards him but makes sure that her abuser NEVER hurts anyone EVER again. She loves Raoul so much that she's pretty much willing to sacrifice her freedom and happiness so Raoul could be free. No matter what circumstances she is given, she will still put the ones she loves before herself no matter what, even if it means giving up a chance to save herself. I know most of us won’t ever be put in such an extreme scenario but Christine is such an inspiration of how to love others and believe in them despite flaws and bad sides. She inspires me to see the good in people. It’s so easy to be cynical and hardened in this world, and I think that Phantom of the Opera reminds us to have kindness and light in our hearts, even in challenging circumstances.

I would also like to add another moment of character. Think what it must have taken to prepare for the female lead role in a 3-act opera. Christine wasn’t even an understudy. In a matter of minutes, she went from member of the ballet corps to the lead role, and she had to rehearse and remember new music, character, blocking, and vocals. Not only did she prepare in time, she performed so well that she became a hit. This reveals, not only the skill and beauty of her voice, but also her concentration, diligence, and acting capability. Everyone hails the Phantom as the ultimate musical genius—and he is—but they overlook the implied extent of Christine’s skill.

She went through the loss of both parents, manipulation, being stalked, and knowing that the person she loves most has his life on the line - because of her. And then she literally gets off of her knees and shows her abuser the first form of kindness he has ever known. Not even the Phantom was strong enough for that; he gave up on the world far too early. Christine is the embodiment of courage and kindness; she teaches us to love and forgive those who have been awful to us, and to protect those we love even if it means our own suffering. But she no longer succumbs to the Phantom and makes sure her abuser never hurts anyone EVER again. Seriously, this girl is AWESOME! And this was in the 18th century! It's really sad that such a great character is overlooked by many...

It seems that Leroux really understood women... That we can be emotional, we are vulnerable but not weak... And emotion really helps us when we keep them in control!

Christine, in a nutshell, is a kind, observant, compassionate, trusting young woman–a too trusting at first–but with a spine of steel and determination once she’s drawn the line. She loves people deeply, but she picks up quickly on the realities of the situation. She has the strongest character arc in the story and makes the choices to grow and to move on. Yet she remains gentle and compassionate, uses her love to bless and not manipulate. She’s a layered character who grows. And there’s so much more to her than meets the eye.

[ashtonsunshine]

Search for : 5 Seconds of Summer Ashton: 'chicks don't judge my drumming' it's from an interview for Rhythm magazine. You can also watch the interview : Ashton Irwin at NAMM 2016 . My intention is not to hate on him , but he does sound a bit condescending in those, and i hope as of now he appreciates his female audience, because we do support them with love for their music.

The first one you talk about, I could only find this very low quality pic of the article from Ashton’s twitter, and then I found these articles about it: PressPlay and AltPress. The PressPlay article just transcripts what he says and gives no other insight on the matter. The Altpress one is more important and I’ll get to it in a bit. 

The picture isn’t easy to read so I’m gonna transcript what’s said: 

“Rhythm: Ashton, are you comfortable in the spotlight?

Ashton: Chicks don’t judge your drumming., let’s be honest. Fourteen-year-olds aren’t going to be like, “Man, that guy sucks!”. They just like to see a drummer. My stepdad drums, my uncle is a drummer, I’m surrounded by a drumming family and I just want to learn to be the best drummer I can be. 

Karl: That’s a great thing you just said that chicks don’t judge your drumming. There’s a song in that. I would say you’ve probably influenced a lot of girls to be drummers. 

Ashton: I hope we get some people playing guitar and drums again, I thinks that’s a great thing our band could do for people.”

This interview is from August 2015, but since Karl talks about a rehearsal in Portugal and that after it they’ll go straight into the shows, this interview was held in May 2015, right before the ROWYSO tour, so Ashton as 20 years old then. 

From a first read, yeah, it doesn’t sound good, but, just for the sake of it, let’s put ourselves in his shoes for a sec.

A 20-year-old man who wants to be a great drummer and appreciated for his drumming skills being reduced to daddy material by young teenage girls isn’t exactly ideal. The sexualization of band members isn’t news to anyone and we all know that teenagers can be over the top and very vocal about it to the artist’s face (and by face I both mean live in concert and on the artist’s social media), so, and although not exactly politically correct of Ashton, he’s not wrong in his words, in my opinion. 

Being sexually attracted to a drummer and appreciating their skill isn’t something that’s mutually exclusive, that’s a fact. However, young teenagers, and I’m including myself in here because I’m not imune to this phenomenon, can and will focus on the sex appeal of their idols before being able to appreciate their skills. I did that. I was one of those people who “just like to see the drummer”, so I can see where Ashton is coming from when he said that. Should he have said it, probably not. Did he say it and meant it the evil way people try to portray it, most likely not. 

As the Altpress article reads “What they are is good dudes, and good dudes sometimes say bullshit.” because nobody is born perfect. Then the article goes on saying: 

“It became something of a hot topic on 5SOSFam internet, girls attempting to dissect what the drummer meant. Some thought it was indirect commentary on their young, female fanbase’s obsession with their personal life over music. Others were offended, tweeting at the musician that though they might not be able to label the anatomy of a drum kit, they still appreciate his musicianship. Whatever the reasoning, the use of “chicks” here is concerning as is the statement. Why don’t they judge your drumming? Is “judge” here used more like “criticizing”? Because a girl isn’t going to scream “You suck” at a 5 Seconds Of Summer gig, she doesn’t know about the mechanics of drumming? It might be misguided language in the way their recent single, “Good Girls,” was, with a chorus of “Good girls are bad girls that haven’t been caught” meant to symbolize independence and an exploration in identity that, to the unknowing person (aka someone who doesn’t worship at the altar of this band) kind of reads like sexual objectification.”

I’d like to bring your focus to that last part about misguided language, because that’s important. Sometimes people say things without meaning harm that end up being harmful. We can try to dissect it all we want, but we’ll never know for sure. I would say he didn’t mean to be sexist, but I also agree that it did come out a bit condescending. 

The second one you mention is this interview for Altpress at NAMM 2016 when he was 21 years old:

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They are talking about the event and how there are a lot of people there who are older and more experienced music people and the interviewer says that he thought it would be easier to get a hold of Ashton because there were more important musicians there than him, to which Ashton responds that he’s just chilling and that there isn’t anyone in the 5SOS’s fanbase demographics there and finishes it off with “I don’t think any of the chicks or anything would come to check out some gear or some moog boards or anything like that so”. 

I wasn’t sure about it so I had to check it on a dictionary, that many women find “chick” an offensive term, so we can ask: why is he using it? Maybe he is just as unaware as I am and was using it simply to refer to young teenage girls; maybe he isn’t and was being rude, which is, in all honesty, not likely. Ashton is known for spitting out words without giving two thoughts about them and we all know that, but I also think he has grown out of it, at least a bit, by now. But, back to the full statement. 

“I don’t think any of the chicks would come to check out some gear...” can be interpreted as sexist and condescending, and I’m not going to deny that, but you have to look at the full conversation to understand what he meant. Context is important. They’re talking about the people who are attending the event, who are, as I understood it, experienced music people who’ve been in the field for a while and their fans, who, by extension, are also older people who have an interest in the drumming world. So, Ashton saying that can’t, in my view, be shoved into a corner and interpreted as it is being interpreted by so many people. 

Firstly, I, personally, don’t believe he’s using “chicks” as a derogatory term and is simply using it to refer to the majority of the 5SOS fanbase demographic, which was (and still is) young girls and young women. But you guys can think that all I’m saying is a bunch of bullshit and say that it doesn’t matter what he meant and how he meant it, what matters is what he said, and I’m sorry but I disagree. He’s human and human beings often say shit without meaning it in a certain way that then other people come along and twist their words to paint them as the incarnation of Satan itself. I have said things that come off rude and not politically or morally correct in my life without meaning them that way, and I’m absolutely certain that so have you.

Then, there’s the possible interpretation that young girls, being only interested in seeing the drummer, aren’t judging the drumming skills and don’t know or aren’t interested about drumming gear hence not being there at the event, which is, in a way, true. Is it a bold and somewhat sexist generalisation? Yes. Is he wrong, though? No. Many teenagers aren’t interested in the gear band members use. 

I remember when that interview with Ashton talking about his drum kit came out and I was fascinated. I wasn’t fascinated about the gear or fascinated about how many things he had on his kit or what they did; I was fascinated about his love for it. I didn’t understand shit of what he was talking about but he was speaking with such passion that I didn’t care. Same thing happened when Michael’s video with Gibson talking about his guitar dropped. I don’t know anything about guitars or how they work, but I know Michael was happy as hell to have that guitar out and I’m here for it. 

I think what Ashton missed when he said those things was that we may not understand anything about how to make music or how good of a drummer he is or about drumming gear but we do know he worked hard to get where he is right now and we value and respect that, and I think that’s why people went crazy about this. They felt betrayed in a way and that’s completely understandable. They felt like their respect was disregarded. That their love was minimised. 

But he does know how important a female audience is. The band has mentioned it several times. Here’s one from Billboard last year when talking about Youngblood:

“Being a band of all guys, what have you learned over the years from having a fanbase that’s largely female?

Irwin: A couple of delicate things, but most of it is just sensitivity. Lyrics are important to younger women who are trying to understand relationships, or just feelings in general. I grew up without a dad. I just have a mom. A lot of my lyrical process is based on seeing my mom suffer, which makes me quite sensitive towards how younger women feel. I think that’s an important thing. That took me a long time to realize as to why I feel almost asexual at times towards… I don’t really get along with men that well. It’s all because of my upbringing. In lyrics I wrote when I was younger, there’s a lot deeper meaning than I actually thought. I didn’t understand it when I was younger. When I was writing with you guys [I'd think], why do women like these lyrics? Then you get older and look at your lyrics and go, “This makes a lot of sense, why people would have liked that.”

I think where a lot of young male bands go wrong is they get caught up in women liking their band. There’s a bunch of women hanging around who might sexually desire you. That can be confusing to a young man, but it’s all just about respect. 

Hood: You never want to [be patronizing towards] younger fans, in particular female, because that’s what our demographic was, and still is in large part. So in lyrics, we always overestimate our fans. The lyrics on this album are very deep. 

Irwin: We don’t actually focus on who likes us that much… I really enjoy meeting male fans as well. To all my favorite bands, the Rolling Stones and stuff, the younger female fans always come first because they know what's good.”

They know how important we, the female fanbase, are. They know we put them where they are now, that we gave them the platform to thrive in the music industry. They know we love their work and support them in whatever music path they choose to take. They see us like people with brains and not sex objects. They write lyrics for our brains and our hearts. 

Ashton has grown so much as a person and I think we shouldn’t keep him back on a sentence he said four years ago without looking at ourselves first and thinking about all the dodgy things we did and said when we were four years younger. I have a few I’m not proud of, and I would like people not to use them to define who I am today because I am a completely different person than I was in 2015 and nobody is judging me harder than myself.

[tapedecking]

MIXTAPE #3 (08/08/22)

Spring Released - Grant-Lee Phillips

Album: Mobilize

Year: 2001

Track: Album Track

Whenever I’m at home, I cannot have silence. It stresses me out. It’s eerie and scary and you can hear every little sound and it means something’s wrong - at least in my mind. So whenever I’m just at home chilling, I’ll put on a show, just to have some noise in the background. Whilst in Australia, the show that filled this role for me was Gilmore Girls, a show I had watched through properly some years prior. Whilst rewatching the show, I once again enjoyed the humour and witting writing of the series, but I was struck by just how fantastic the show’s taste in music is. I covered roughly the first two seasons in Australia, and in those 40ish episodes, they played tracks by XTC, Beck, The Jesus and Mary Chain, Big Star - in fact, that was just one episode. This track by Grant-Lee Phillips - who also has a recurring role on the show as the town troubadour - was one I discovered during this rewatch.

-

Achin’ to Be - The Replacements

Album: Don’t Tell a Soul

Year: 1989

Track: Single (Release Unsure: 1989)

I previously mentioned listening to The Idiot by Iggy Pop whilst unable to sleep at 5am. Well, after finishing that album I still couldn’t sleep, so I moved onto this one. I’d previously heard several Replacements albums, and for my money, they’re one of the most underrated rock bands I know of. Lead singer Paul Westerberg writes nearly every Replacements track - either alone or with others - and he imbues every song with a refreshing and beautiful honesty, be it about his love for Big Star’s Alex Chilton, or about the concept of androgyny. This track is a dreamy track about the struggle of being a creative, the fear of putting your work out there and of having it be understood and appreciated, and for that reason, it really connected with me.

-

Life During Wartime - Talking Heads

Album: Fear of Music

Year: 1979

Track: Single (Post-Release: 1979)

This was one of the many albums I listened to on my flight home from Australia, and definitely my favourite of the bunch, as well as my favourite Talking Heads album. I know most people would say Remain In Light, and it may have a higher high in the form of Once In a Lifetime, but Fear of Music just has so many memorable and diverse tracks, from the African-inspired dance track I Zimbra, to the unusually serene ballad Heaven, and to this track, which I would describe as Double Dash-esque. Genuinely, the start of this song reminds me so much of a certain part in the music for Mushroom Bridge, it’s all I can think about when I start listening to this song. Plus, I’m a massive, obsessive Mario Kart fan - the day the Booster Course Pass Wave 2 trailer came out, I made my girlfriend watch it with me three times.

-

You Never Loved Me - Aimee Mann

Album: Mental Illness

Year: 2017

Track: Album Track

A long distance relationship is hard, and since leaving my beloved in Australia and arriving home, I’ve felt quite down. And when I feel quite down, it’s time to throw on the Sad Boy Mix. If you were wondering what’s on that playlist, I’ll confirm that yes, The Smiths, Radiohead and Sufjan Stevens all feature, as does this track by Aimee Mann, another artist that I feel is underappreciated. Despite her acoustic female singer-songwriter sound - a sound that has made Phoebe Bridgers so popular - and her witty lyrics, despite her collaborations with Elvis Costello, despite being the inspiration for the film Magnolia and then despite almost winning a Grammy for her work on said film, Mann has never quite managed mainstream appeal, which I truly do not understand. This album was one I listened to during my real first real big heartbreak, and this song just hits so incredibly hard whilst you’re in that post-breakup mindset.

-

In the Hanging Gardens - Pinkshinyultrablast

Album: Miserable Miracles

Year: 2018

Track: Single (Pre-Release: 2017)

When discovering new music, often I’ll go and listen to full albums that have been recommended to me by either my friends, my girlfriend or some chart I downloaded off of /mu/, but sometimes it’s nice to have a mix of new stuff and old stuff and popular stuff and niche stuff, and so to that end, I threw together a mix of three different Spotify generated playlists for me to listen to, mostly whilst playing Valorant with my girlfriend and her friends. I combined “my life is a movie”, “sad girl starter pack” and “Shoegaze Classics” into a 21 hour playlist that I have dubbed, “a bit sad, a bit dreamy, a bit girly”. Whilst listening to said playlist, I was struck by this apparent shoegaze classic (which is am not sure it qualifies for, having been released around only five years ago), which is just a very fun shoegaze track with some excellent vapourwave-esque synth. Interestingly, the band is Russian, which I did not expect, having heard the song.

-

Hey Julianne - The Kickstand Band

Album: standalone single

Year: 2021

Track: Single

I’ve recently completed a Film degree at uni (with a first, no less!) and this past week, I’ve been working on having one of my projects broadcast on regional television. However, this has been a massive ballache, due to the fact that my sound guy - who was an incompetant tumour on the project during production - never bothered to licence out any of the music, meaning we’ve got montages that are dead silent, and radios that play no music. My editor and I have been scurrying about, reaching out to Bandcamp and Soundcloud artists, including this band, The Kickstand Band, whom I first discovered through an XTC tribute album, which featured their excellent cover of “Life Begins at the Hop”. I began listening to their own written material afterwards, and out of all of it, this single from last year was my favourite, and it is just such a lovely, catchy, upbeat, summer tune. Fingers crossed we can use it in our project!

-

The Loving - XTC

Album: Oranges & Lemons

Year: 1989

Track: Single (Post-Release: 1979)

Speaking of XTC, they have got to be my favourite band of all time. Their 1986 album, Skylarking, is my favourite album of all time. And due to having listened through to all their material, again and again, for many years, I haven’t been listening to them all that much recently. But recently, I was listening to my playlist on shuffle, and heard this track come up, and I was instantly reminded of why I love XTC so much - the playful, joyful psychedelic sounds, as well as Andy Partridge’s voice and clever lyrics. I chose this track for the mixtape this week, simply because it was the one that happened to come on at random, but if I were to pick, say, my favourite track off of this album, I would be so completely torn - Garden of Earthly Delights, Mayor of Simpleton, King for a Day, Poor Skeleton Steps Out and this track would all be options. Sincerely, to anyone reading this (if anyone is), please check out some XTC - start with their singles compilation Fossil Fuel if you’d like, but definitely give all of Skylarking a listen - the whole thing is so beautiful and sweet and clever and cohesive and agh, I love it so much.

[jamescurcio]

White Lines, Black Magic

This came up on various public groups when I was doing my research for Masks. I wanted to share it with you, because I think it’s an interesting, and generally good, take. 

David's Dark Doings - And How He Escaped To Tell The Tale David Bowie's Station To Station and the "Berlin Trilogy". By Ian MacDonald

"I ran across a monster who was sleeping by a tree. And I looked and frowned and the monster was me" (David Bowie, "The Width Of A Circle", 1971)

EMI's latest batch of mid-price Bowie reissues, discs released at full price in 1990-1, consists of the 1976-8 sequence, Station To Station, Low, "Heroes", and Stage. It might have been truer to his career to have made a foursome of Low, "Heroes", Stage and Lodger - the "Berlin Trilogy" plus their complimentary live album - and to have corralled Station To Station with his other "American" albums, David Live and Young Americans. Never mind. As it happens, EMI's decision highlights a little-understood juncture in Bowie's development: the transition between the two The Man Who Fell To Earth albums, Station To Station and Low. Bowie's modus operandi during the Seventies was transformation, acting out the suburban dream of escape into glamorous "otherness" - hence his popularity among a very specific audience  segment (and the total blank he registered with those for whom escape was not an issue). This method held good until Young Americans, even though that album's associated transformation - white boy on Soul Train - was less the usual Brechtian device than an identity-crisis on the part of the artist (or the Actor, as he then referred to himself). Uprooted from his native context in the cultural artifice of Europe, isolated in a largely unironic and cultureless alien land, Bowie was forced back on himself, a self he didn't much like. Weary of the artistic transformations which were now getting too close to home, he fended off self-examination with mental diversion, reading obsessively from a portable library and deadening his growing sense of emotional emptiness with cocaine and booze. David Live is, in effect, a station-stop in this journey on the old Oblivion Express, an evening's snapshot of Bowie's deepening malaise.

With Station To Station - its title partly suggested by Bowie's 1973-6 touring schedule which, due to his fear of flying, mostly consisted of travel by train-the Oblivion Express reached another halt. But, this time, Bowie, rarely one to repeat himself, refused another David Live stop-over. Instead, he got off the damned train. A sonic "dark night of the soul", Station to Station is to Bowie what On The Beach is to Neil Young's album, rooted in the folk-blues tradition of American "authenticity", remains too musically raw for wide appeal, whereas Station, if only superficially, is one of Bowie's most glamorous discs. However, the superficial view of Station to Station doesn't tell half the inner story of the album, a recherché work which, despite being recorded at Cherokee Studios in the hyper-American suburb of Hollywood, is essentially European.

The key to the transition between Station To Station and Low (whose covers both employ images from Nicolas Roeg's the Man Who Fell To Earth) is that it does not coincide with Bowie's usual sort of artistic transformation: the persona swap. Bowie's final mask, the Thin White Duke, travels no further than Station to Station. There's no mask, no persona in Low. Just a rather gaunt young man in a "styleless" dufflecoat, looking sideways to the viewer as if in a police mugshot. Some would say that this is merely because Bowie then ceased touring for a while (appearing live only as Iggy Pop's keyboard player), and consequently had no need to invent a new stage character. In truth, Bowie's temporary low profile, coded in the cover of Low itself, was forced on him at a time when an interlude of retreat for recuperation and regrouping was the only alternative to a full-scale crack-up during the recording of Station to Station, a period of which he claims to recall almost nothing. Mental breakdown still appeared to be impending in May, 1976 when, returning to Britain from his sojourn in America, a seemingly stoned Bowie acknowledged the British press corps at Victoria Station with what most of those present took to be a Nazi salute.

Britain was then witnessing the electoral rise of the neo-fascist National Front, and Bowie's proclaimed ambition to be the country's fascist dictator was naturally, those of us who were fans chose to read Bowie's stance as ironic. Neither was wholly correct. Like Neil Young's republicanism, Bowie's brand of fascism, while it embraced irony, was basically serious; or was taken seriously by a certain hermetic compartment of his mind, wherein it dwelt. The rest of him - what passed for the normal lad from Brixton - was deeply uneasy about it; so uneasy that he included on Station To Station a song open to God in case the demons evoked elsewhere in the album should get out of hand. Bowie's fascination with Nazism was never conventionally political. Rather, it was one aspect of a personal cosmology traceable in cryptic songs like "Cygnet Committee" (Space Oddity, 1969), "The Supermen" (The Man Who Sold The World, 1971), "Big Brother" (Diamond Dogs, 1974), but most explicitly in "Oh! You Pretty Things" and - particularly - "Quicksand" on Hunky Dory (1972): "I'm closer to the Golden Dawn/Immersed in Crowley's uniform/Of imager/I'm living in a silent film/Portraying Himmler's sacred realm/Of dream reality." Eagerly absorbed from the omnivorous reading with which the self-taught Bowie, insecure in his intellect, then shored up his self-esteem, this personal cosmology was rooted in the Gnostic myth of the Fall, viz: we human beings are born into this world from a higher dimension ("heaven") which we forget upon entering the sphere of material existence. Hence, homo sapiens is a half-finished thing living in a state of waking sleep he calls reality, but which is actually a kind of delusion. Only those "awake" on the physical plane, the "enlightened" ones, see reality as it truly is. As such, they are supermen. Now that "home sapiens have outgrown their use", such mental supermen are set to inherit the earth. As a young man, Bowie was impatiently obsessed with the inefficiency of our unenlightened minds ("We're today's scrambled creatures, looked in tomorrow's double feature"). As a result, he viewed the majority, unaware as they were of their plight, with a blend of tolerant irony and frank contempt ("the mice in their million hordes"). Elaborating on the Gnostic myth, he cross-bred Nietzsche's Superman - "The Wild-Eyed Boy From Freecloud" is a sort of pop Zarathustra - with esoteric motifs in the writing of Madame Blavatsky and the teaching of the American mystic, Gurdjeff. Both allude extensively to mysterious "Masters": enlightened super-beings who supposedly guide human affairs from mountain fastnesses in Tibet and the Hindou Kush ("the men who protect you and I"). Blavatsky's writing, along with those of Eliphas Levi, gave birth to the late 19th-century Occult Revival which in Britain produced the magical society called The Golden Dawn, whence Aleister Crowley emerged, and which in Germany created the occult basis of Nazism, epitomised in Himmler's vision of his SS as an Arthurian company of immortals, incarnated to bring order to the physical plane. Though he made plenty of pro-Hitler statements around 1975-6, Bowie ultimately remained sane enough to distinguish the ideal of an order-bringing élite from the Nazi reality. He was, he would occasionally claim, a Nietzschean, his "fascism" being conceptually benign (if nonetheless arrogant). He favoured a New Order not of domination, but of enlightenment: rule of the "asleep" by the "awake". The main snag was that he was doing too many drugs. Imbibed along with piles of prime Colombian, books like Pauwel and Bergier's The Morning Of The Magicians (1971) and Trevor Ravenscroft's The Spear Of Destiny (1973) had, by 1975, led Bowie into a remote headspace where even UFO's were part of the plot.

During the LA sessions for Station To Station, the Fuhrerling (as Bowie drolly refers to himself in a demo of "Candidate" on the 1990 reissue of Diamond Dogs) was archetypally "torn between the light and dark". At one point the journalist, Cameron Crowe, found him burning black tapers in the seeming aftermath of some ritual magic that had gone wrong. "Been having a little trouble with the neighbours," said Bowie, evidently not referring to the people in the apartment next door. Michael Lippman, a friend of Bowie's during this period, remembers him describing strange nightmares. Lippman gave him a gold cross. Bowie later asked him for a mezuzah (a parchment in a glass tube, inscribed with the divine name Shaddai, which Orthodox Jews keep nailed to their door to ward off evil). The title track of the album is packed with occult references and allusions to the Gnostic myth of the Fall. A mention of White Stains, Crowley's very obscure first book, shows how deeply Bowie delved into the golden Dawn background; indeed, the lyric suggests that he also studied The Tree Of Life by Crowley's pupil, Israel Regardie, a brilliant treatise on the magical use of the 13th century Jewish mystical system, Quabala. In Quabalistic language, the Gnostic myth of the Fall can be expressed as "one magical movement from kether to malkuth" (Kether being the sphere of the Godhead, or Crown of Creation, and Malkuth being the sphere of the physical world, aka the kingdom). These spheres (sephiroth) lie at opposite ends of the glyph known as the Tree of Life, which Bowie is seen drawing on the back of EMI's reissue of Station to Station. Seems he thought of the sephiroth as stations - "standing places", as in the Stations Of the Cross (which have their own occult interpretation). Sadly there are 14 Stations Of The Cross but only 10 sephiroth. (The Christian sign of the cross, though does "map" onto the Tree..) The song, "Station to Station", also has a Shakespearean resonance. Prospero the magician (and incognito duke) in Shakespeare's most mysterious play. the Tempest, surrounds himself with books, among which is his occult grimoire. At the end of the play, he abjures magic and "drowns" his book of spells. In "Station To Station", the Thin White Duke - Bowie as a cocaine-frozen Prospero lost in his (magic) circle, tall in his room overlooking the ocean (Prospero's Island "cell" transported to the coast by Los Angeles) - despairingly reviews his repertoire of illusions. "Such is the stuff from where dreams are woven," he muses, not quite quoting Prospero ("We are such stuff/As dreams are made on"). Clearly, illusion is no longer what he wants. Station to Station - like Plastic Ono Band, like Todd, like On the Beach - is an exorcism: an exorcism of self, of the mind, of the past. By 1976, Bowie had nearly had enough of his "magic" - the theatrical "grand illusion" by which he'd lived since 1972. Thus, he "flashes no colour" - another magical allusion, this time to the so-called Tattva symbols which use "flashing" complimentary colours to after consciousness, ushering the magical aspirant into the Astral Plane of heightened vision. Decoded: Bowie has travelled the Astral (or ascended the tree Of Life); now he wants to come down o earth, to love. (Hence the cover image of the soundproof chamber in The Man Who fell to Earth.) One could easily continue for another thousand words in this vein about "Station To Station". (Let alone the rest of the record. Bowie; "It's the nearest album to a magical treatise that I've written"). Yet none of this symbolism would matter if the artist were not in control of it; and if it didn't crack, via the desperate drunken grandiloquence of the song's bridge ("Once there were mountains on mountains"), into the naked-and-wired stamped of its epic, up-tempo release, driven by that magnificent late Seventies rhythm section of Carlos Alomar, Dennis Davis, and George Murray, and lit by the elemental fire-scream of Earl Slick's hysterical guitar. Those who accuse Bowie of lacking feeling should listen closely to this transition: the quavering, hopeless-to-hopeful vulnerability of the couplet, "It's not the side effects of the cocaine/I'm thinking that it must be love." This is a deeply unhappy human being, harried by his own incandescently gifted mind.

In fact, Bowie didn't cast his grimoire into the ocean after station To Station. He hedged his commercial bets by mixing the album "big", and made plans to tour it in Europe. He was still half in his mystic-fascist Thin White Duke persona when he "returned", like some parallel universe Duke of Windsor, to Britain in May, 1976 (and he would certainly have been aware that the Nazi salute is identical to the occult sign of the Zelator grade in the Golden Dawn system). Yet he went on, soon after this, to move to a roughhouse Turkish suburb of Berlin, there to kick the white powder, clean up his mind/body, and start a new career in a new town. The artistic transformation between Station to Station and Low was an inner one, not a career move, it happened to Bowie himself, not to Bowie the Actor. In Berlin, the sons of real SS men sorted his head out. In Berlin, he saw neo-nazis beat up Turkish immigrants. In Berlin, low in the aftermath of heavy drugs and Hollywood glamour, he forced himself to live like an everyday person, buying his own groceries. The nightmare of the Thin White Duke faded, chased away by hours of laughter with his new cohort, Eno, the first person Bowie worked with who could keep up with him. He finished Low (another album one could write thousands of words about) and mixed it, as he claims he intended to mix Station To Station, "dry": close, compressed, and with a gate on the snare so vicious that it became the first drum-sound people outside the studio-world actually noticed. What happened to the private cosmology, to the magical Nietzschean? Bowie has lately conceded "a need to vacillate between atheism or a kind of gnosticism". On his 1997 tour, he played, of all things "Quicksand". Think on, secret thinkers."

[goteamanalysis]

Hello! I would like your thoughts about Akane please ? owo

Canon Information for this Character

-She is a manager and a 2nd year

-She really loves anything science-fiction

-She is a good artist, she is the one who created the Inazuma Eleven Stickers i.e

-Game Description:–A slightly enigmatic sort of girl. One of [Shindou’s] biggest fans.“

-To Recruit her you need:–1st game—Item: Seishun no Onigiri—Manual: Eternal Blizzard—Item: Puromaido—Topic: Valentine–2 game—Item: Second Raimon’s Theme Song—Item: Sewayaki Towel—Record: Photographer–3rd game—Coin: 2 Blue—Item: Miniature Caravan—Item: Sewayaki Towel—Photo: Timework Refridgerator—Photo: Old Fashioned Broom

Name MeaningHer surname Yamana 山菜 can also be read as Sansai, a Japanese word translating literally as ‘mountain vegetables’. This term refers to vegetables that were foraged in the wild, as opposed to being grown and harvested from a field.

Her given name Akane 茜 translates as the color rose madder, a shade of red, and fits the manager’s theme of being named after colors.

OverviewShe’s friends with her fellow second year manager Seto Midori, and since Midori has a tenancy to act before she speaks, Akane sometimes helps stop her from getting carried away.

She’s a huge fan of Shindou Takuto. She refers to him as Shin-sama and during soccer practice she’ll utter things like ‘Shin-sama is wonderful,’ and ‘Shin-sama is so dashing,’ etc…

Photography seems to be her hobby and she constantly carries a pink camera around with her.

In the Sengoku era arc, she’s portrayed as being a little bit jealous of Okatsu, the girl Shindou became close to. However, in the game version she understood his feelings towards Okatsu, and in order to give the two time to have their final conversation, she contributed to postponing the departure of the Inazuma Caravan. This shows she’s a kind and considerate girl.

While she does admire Shindou a lot, she doesn’t purely focus her attention on him - she cares about the team as a whole, such as when she showed Shinsuke a photo she had taken when he made his special move.

According to the games, she originally bought her camera to primarily be used to take photos of Shindou, but she’s gradually come to take photos of everyone and now it’s full of pictures of the whole team.

In the drama CD she took photos of Shindou from underwater, surprising Hakuryuu and Tsurugi.

AppearanceShe has large violet eyes and wears her hair in thick plaits. The color is light purple (or a red so light it looks brown?). Her uniform ribbon is blue. Unlike many of the girls who wear white socks, she wears dark purple tights.

She is not very short for her age, even being considered average height. She is almost even with Shindou and Kirino in height.

PersonalityShe’s described as very gentle, a bit air-headed, and mysterious. She’s quiet and often speaks in fragments rather than full sentences.

She can be considered a Romantic or even a Hopeless Romantic, this is implied with the way she talks about Shindou and the fact that you need the Valentine topic to recruit her in the games.

In Chrono Stone it’s revealed she has an interested in science fiction. When the talk turns to SF she lights up with enthusiasm and shows great knowledge for her favored subject. This also marks the start of her displaying her interests outside of “admiring Shindou”, allowing her to develop as her own character.

One of the chapter of the Ciao Inazuma Eleven GO anthology is based around her. Her personality is altered to become more like a typical shoujo protagonist. She speaks a lot more and while she uses normal, casual Japanese with the others, her inner monologue is in keigo (polite Japanese).

She is commonly seen clasping her hands together/entwining her fingers in front of her.

“Clasping and squeezing hands together is a self-pacifying gesture. A person does this to show that they are either uncomfortable, nervous, or even fearful. That or they are trying to assure themself, “Everything’s going to be alright.” A variation of this is rubbing the wrist. Clasped hands with interwoven fingers indicate great anxiety or frustration.“

This contributes to her meek and gentle nature, showing weekness and uncertainty in how she holds herself. While she never seems to worry about much, she could still be displaying that she is a nervous or even anxious person.

Her eyes always look very dreamy as if she is always in her own little world.

This is probably a visual reminder of her “Air-headed Nature” as when she is focused on she usually says something strange that exasperates the people immediately surrounding her. She speaks very softly and doesn’t say very much when she does talk, this feature about her capitalizes on her meek nature the same way that her hand gestures do.

Note:[more Manga info will be added later on a separate post or ask if someone expresses interest in more depth]

Misc

In an interview with her voice actor Yurin, she wonders what club Akane would join in the parallel world in Chrono Stone. She brings up that she could have a laugh with Midori in the ping pong club, but ultimately decides that Akane will follow Shin-sama to whichever club he chooses to join.

There’s a joke among the voice actors that her camera is indestructible. She can take photos underwater and in the movie when she drops her camera it still doesn’t break.

Originally, the script of the drama CD called for Shindou to refer to her by Akane, her first name, but on the day of the recording the staff announced that he would instead call her by her surname, Yamana. Her voice actor comments that she must be disappointed because her dream of Shin-sama calling her Akane still hasn’t come true.

Her voice actor Yurin regrets that she didn’t take a photo of Shindou in his Japanese-style clothes when she had the chance. She comments that every time Akane has a chance to get closer to Shindou she never takes it. ((Perhaps out of shyness?)) When Okatsu makes a bento lunch for Shindou, Akane comments ‘I want to make a bento for Shin-sama too,’. Yurin comments that she should, and show her appeal by making something other than tofu.

Character Trope Associated with this CharacterCloudcuckoolander - A character with their head in the clouds. They are strangely oblivious to things that everyone else takes for granted. This character, by definition, isn’t stupid. They can be highly intelligent and very insightful or even geniuses, it’s just the things they sometimes say and do may come off as weird, awkward, over-the-top, illogical, eccentric, etc. And because imagination often runs wild, they tend to be Easily Impressed.

((Mod Thoughts:Yozakura: She’s pretty great. I think she is my favorite manager in GO.Araceli: Her crush on Shindou is cute afLina: I really love her, she is talented and she fantasize a lot/ is obsessed with something and we can relate to this))

[coolthingsisee]

The impulse to garden in hard times has deep roots

During coronavirus lockdowns, gardens have served as an escape from feelings of alienation. Richard Bord/Getty Images

The coronavirus pandemic has set off a global gardening boom.

In the early days of lockdown, seed suppliers were depleted of inventory and reported “unprecedented” demand. Within the U.S., the trend has been compared to World War II victory gardening, when Americans grew food at home to support the war effort and feed their families.

The analogy is surely convenient. But it reveals only one piece in a much bigger story about why people garden in hard times. Americans have long turned to the soil in moments of upheaval to manage anxieties and imagine alternatives. My research has even led me to see gardening as a hidden landscape of desire for belonging and connection; for contact with nature; and for creative expression and improved health.

These motives have varied across time as growers respond to different historical circumstances. Today, what drives people to garden may not be the fear of hunger so much as hunger for physical contact, hope for nature’s resilience and a longing to engage in work that is real.

Why Americans garden

Prior to industrialization, most Americans were farmers and would have considered it odd to grow food as a leisure activity. But as they moved into cities and suburbs to take factory and office jobs, coming home to putter around in one’s potato beds took on a kind of novelty. Gardening also appealed to nostalgia for the passing of traditional farm life.

For black Americans denied the opportunity to abandon subsistence work, Jim Crow-era gardening reflected a different set of desires.

In her essay “In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens,” Alice Walker recalls her mother tending an extravagant flower garden late at night after finishing brutal days of field labor. As a child, she wondered why anyone would voluntarily add one more task to such a difficult life. Later, Walker understood that gardening wasn’t just another form of labor; it was an act of artistic expression.

Particularly for black women relegated to society’s least desirable jobs, gardening offered the chance to reshape a small piece of the world in, as Walker put it, one’s “personal image of Beauty.”

This isn’t to say that food is always a secondary factor in gardening passions. Convenience cuisine in the 1950s spawned its own generation of home-growers and back-to-the-land movements rebelling against a mid-century diet now infamous for Jell-O mold salads, canned-food casseroles, TV dinner and Tang.

For millennial-era growers, gardens have responded to longings for community and inclusion, especially among marginalized groups. Immigrants and inner-city residents lacking access to green space and fresh produce have taken up “guerrilla gardening” in vacant lots to revitalize their communities.

An immigrant tends his plot at the South Central Community Farm in Los Angeles. David McNew/Getty Images

In 2011, Ron Finley – a resident of South Central L.A. and self-identified “gangsta gardener” – was even threatened with arrest for installing vegetable plots along sidewalks.

Such appropriations of public space for community use are often seen as threats to existing power structures. Moreover, many people can’t wrap their heads around the idea that someone would spend time cultivating a garden but not reap all of the rewards.

When reporters asked Finley if he were concerned that people would steal the food, he replied, “Hell no I ain’t afraid they’re gonna steal it, that’s why it’s on the street!”

Gardening in the age of screens

Since the lockdown began, I’ve watched my sister Amanda Fritzsche transform her neglected backyard in Cayucos, California, into a blooming sanctuary. She has also gotten into Zoom workouts, binged on Netflix and joined online happy hours. But as the weeks stretch into months, she seems to have less energy for those virtual encounters.

Gardening, on the other hand, has overtaken her life. Plantings that started out back have expanded around the side of the house, and gardening sessions have stretched later into the evening, when she sometimes works by headlamp.

When I asked about her new obsession, Amanda kept returning to her unease with screen time. She told me that virtual sessions gave a momentary boost, but “there’s always something missing … an empty feeling when you log off.”

Many can probably sense what’s missing. It’s the physical presence of others, and the opportunity to use our bodies in ways that matter. It’s the same longing for community that fills coffee shops with fellow gig workers and yoga studios with the heat of other bodies. It’s the electricity of the crowd at a concert, the students whispering behind you in class.

And so if the novel coronavirus underscores an age of distancing, gardening arises as an antidote, extending the promise of contact with something real. My sister talked about this, too: how gardening appealed to the whole body, naming sensory pleasures like “hearing song birds and insects, tasting herbs, the smell of dirt and flowers, the warm sun and satisfying ache.” While the virtual world may have its own ability to absorb attention, it is not immersive in the way gardening can be.

But this season, gardening is about more than physical activity for the sake of activity. Robin Wallace, owner of a photo production business in Camarillo, California, noted how the lockdown made her professional identity “suddenly irrelevant” as a “non-essential” worker. She went on to point out a key benefit of her garden: “The gardener is never without a purpose, a schedule, a mission.”

As automation and better algorithms make more forms of work obsolete, that longing for purpose gains special urgency. Gardens are a reminder that there are limits to what can be done without physical presence. As with handshakes and hugs, one cannot garden through a screen.

You might pick up skills from YouTube, but, as gardening icon Russell Page once wrote, real expertise comes from directly handling plants, “getting to know their likes and dislikes by smell and touch. ‘Book learning’ gave me information,” he explained, “but only physical contact can give any real … understanding of a live organism.”

Filling the void

Page’s observation suggests a final reason why the coronavirus pandemic has ignited such a flurry of gardening. Our era is one of profound loneliness, and the proliferation of digital devices is only one of the causes. That emptiness also proceeds from the staggering retreat of nature, a process underway well before screen addiction. The people coming of age during the COVID-19 pandemic have already witnessed oceans die and glaciers disappear, watched Australia and the Amazon burn and mourned the astonishing loss of global wildlife.

Perhaps this explains why stories of nature’s “comeback” are continually popping up alongside those gardening headlines. We cheer at images of animals reclaiming abandoned spaces and birds filling skies cleared of pollution. Some of these accounts are credible, others dubious. What matters, I think, is that they offer a glimpse of the world as we wish it could be: In a time of immense suffering and climate breakdown, we are desperate for signs of life’s resilience.

My final conversation with Wallace offered a clue as to how this desire is also fueling today’s gardening craze. She marveled at how life in the garden continues to “spring forth in our absence, or even because of our absence.” Then she closed with an insight at once “liberating” and “humiliating” that touches on hopes reaching far beyond the nation’s backyards: “No matter what we do, or how the conference call goes, the garden will carry on, with or without us.”

[You need to understand the coronavirus pandemic, and we can help. Read The Conversation’s newsletter.]

Jennifer Atkinson does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

This content was originally published here.

[theproofinthisong]

fine line review

oh my goooood i just finished listening to the album and i NEED to express my thoughts:

golden: didn’t know what to expect with this one but it’s?? so beautiful?? harry was so right saying it was a driving song it makes you want to go to california and watch the sunset from the car?? also the sun theme is so poetic and beautiful the way he uses it to talk about louis, his beloved?? the melody is quite simple but it’s so effective and these little da da da sounds the choir make in the background...heavenly. this part reminds me of another song but i can’t remember which one. what i love about this one is that it’s first time i’ve listened the lyrics seemed a quite sad (but riddled with hope still) and now the second time the meaning changed totally?? like it’s witchcraft how much the meaning can change once you look at the lyrics closely?? i know harry was talking about adore you when speaking about that feeling of bliss when you first meet the love of your life and fall completely but this is also what golden is about?? like being afraid but diving deep into it knowing this is right. i’m emo. in terms of vocals, it isn’t as BOOM as in other songs (in the sense that he’s not belting, using falsetto or a very low intonation that differs from his usual tone) but i love it!!! it’s very calm and peaceful and dreamy.

watermelon sugar: miss watermelon sugar is still as iconic as the first day she came out. it’s such a wonderful tune. my impressions on this song will never change and i will listen to it for another 30 times round without even hesitating. it just feels very summery and sensual and sexy without being too explicit (even though there is nothing wrong with being super explicit...see medicine). the chorus is just super catchy. the lyrics are so nice and i love the melody. very old pop and i’m a slut for this genre. also i know this has been HUGELY talked about before but i need to say it again. the way he’s saying belly!! the softness of the breathe me in/breathe me out parts!! the last watermelon sugar i don’t know why i’m obsessed it JUST SLAPS

adore you: oh darling. a treasure. 8 days ago, first time i’ve heard it, it took me by surprise because i wasn’t expecting that sound...but six seconds in and i was SOLD and already cherishing her with all of my heart. this song is JUST PERFECT. it’s probably the song that is the closest to 1D mixed with HS1 in terms of sound, like it’s super modern but at the same time has these very old school vibes i’m in LOVE WITH?? this is such a sweet joyful sappy song about his soulmate and i :’) also the rainbow paradise line i haven’t recovered from  bitches. i will never. this is such a certain and blatant declaration of love i wanna die!! i feel acknowledged as a romantic bitch who lives for this kind of grand gestures. thanks harry. also during some parts he sounds like old harry (i mean harry from 1d days) and then 2019 harry takes over and it makes me CRY

lights up: the first single and song from the era will always a soft soft in my heart. i listened to the track so many fucking times the words are tattooed onto my brain. this song was just so needed and so important. it’s so deep and means everything to me really. all of us wanted a song from him about identity and self discovery and lights up was the gift he gave us. never in my life i would have have dreamed of this song and it happened for real. i’m just so grateful. his voice in this is just so soft and delicate and so fitting for the song like it DEMANDS that tenderness and sweetness. also the choir gives me chills, like when they scream SHINE i just feel overwhelmed it’s!!! fuck!! i could write an essay about lights up because this song is just it. it makes you feel seen and understood and i just feel so lucky harry was able to share something as intimate as this.

cherry: lmaoooo. this one will be a skipper sorry. it’s far from being a bad piece because harry’s voice is always amazing but i can’t get over the voicemail. when the news came out i was just so appealed and angry but know i’m just cackling?? i’m french and what is this slander?? THE COUCOU AT THE BEGINNING IS RIDICULOUS!! and the ending sounds so rehearsed there is literally nothing naturel about it. thank god we hear harry’s laugh in it. I JUST KNOW it was added because there is no way he would have laughed irl at one of her jokes lol. lyrically you can see some parts were put there to make an allusion to the stunt (the accent & friends part, the gallery...) but others are just about louis?? like him being jealous of course it’s about the hubby. his voice is still beautiful but the melody doesn’t speak to me (and i would have telled you if it was the case) being objective, it’s the weakest one out of the album.

falling: OH MY FUCKING GOOOOD. i wanna say it’s my favorite song but i feel like it would diminish the love i have for the others but god...this song is breathtaking and out of this world. in terms of lyrics it’s the best HANDS DOWN. like period. fuck this song just BROKE ME. all that ache and heartbreak you get what he’s talking about when he said to zane lowe he hit rock bottom then. fucking hell. it just hurts knowing he hated himself that much like i can’t even fathom it. and his voice bloody hell?? i never heard him sing like that!!! it’s just so desperate and full of hurt and the high notes? please annihilate me. when i heard it i would at first sight i would be my favorite out of fine line. it was just so obvious. that kind of magic doesn’t happen a lot...like. i can’t pinpoint what part hurts me the most because the whole song is TORTURTING ME. when we’ll hear live i will be bawling for the rest of my life. i’m already am. my god it’s just so raw and honest no other artist can make me feel like that. you are experiencing the hurt with him it’s??? i have no words. and please this song makes no fucking sense if you don’t link to his relationship to louis like?? the i’m well aware i write too many songs about you?? hello??? i’m glad he doesn’t feel like that anymore because it hurts. it’s crazy how this song can pull you back to ancient memories and you just forget about the world. oh my god.

to be so lonely: i almost fell out of my chair (or bed, rather) because this song did not fit at all what i was expecting but it’s?? gold??? i was so sure it was going to be a full angsty ballad but it’s so catchy and it has those beatles vibe? like PLEASE. king of defying expectations. it’s so english. and it’s so smart because when the melody and rythm makes you think it’s gonna be corny (in the best sense of the word) but it’s kinda passive agressive? AND ALSO THE SWEARING. DON’T, STYLES. UR MY SON. i’m kidding. him hearing him say arrogant son of a bitch is THE PINNACLE of my life. also am i the only one that feels like if you change the beat a little and accelerate it on don’t call me baby ever again it would sound a bit like never enough? loved the throwback nonetheless. it isn’t a favorite yet but it’s already growing on me.

she: bloody fucking hell. first this song is timeless. it feels like it came straight (gay!!!) from the seventies. i had eagles vibes first listen but some said pink floyd and it’s SO TRUE. there are tons of rock influences in it but it’s so harry and manages to still be super unique?? just incredible. the writing of the song is the smartest out of HS2. it reminds me of woman (not in the way i was expecting...i had one supposition it was going to be about being envious of a woman while dumb people are tricked by the title) so much not in melody or lyrics at all but in the sense that it has a double (triple...and more) meanings. once again stupid hets think it’s about singing about the ideal girl when really it’s...on another plane of existence. like jesus. bitch i was right!!! it’s either a song on gender identity (harry singing about his feminine side that he was ashamed of for so long and tried to hide) or the closet and my god, the whole thing is just so clever.  A MASTERMIND. and the switch from the third person to the third KEATS you’ve been beaten. what a writer. it has thousands of interpretations this is just a trip. holy shit. the whole song carries so much guilt and repression and wishing be free of those feelings it’s?? i’m speechless. it’s so complex and intense. and fuck the guitar solo outro IS HISTORIC. in decades it will be praised as a masterpiece by all. i just know it. mitch you’re a genius. it gives just so much resonance and impact to the piece and it already had everything... i’m in heaven. or in hell. don’t know.

sunflower vol 6; cutest and weirdest song on earth and it’s A FAVE. it’s so colorful and nothing like he ever did before i’m living for it. it’s SAPPY AS FUCK and we stan sunflower in this house. also the part where he’s singing about wanting to kiss his lover kinda sounds like a lullaby and an alphabet song mixed together it’s ADORABLE!!! it’s such a being young and in love track i’m giggling!! it’s so precious!!! very poppy and gives you joy for days!! also super summery!! i wanna dance and twirl to it!! AND THE ENDING IS SO FUCKING LEGENDARY. BIG HIGH ON CRACK ENERGY. BITCH. it’s so uncanny like is he imitating a bird? calling someone?? trying to sound 5? i don’t know but it’s endearing. just so lovely.

canyon moon: another one i was expecting to be slow and it wasn’t. very country. thanks kacey for the input!! also him putting “jenny” in that sound is he trying to be adopted by dixie chicks and dolly parton? I LOVE that he’s trying new things with this track like country is such a hard genre to tackle and he nailed it. AND OH MY GOD THE LYRICS. it makes so emotional he’s literally creating a safe place for him and his darling?? could you be more in love?? this song belongs to the gays. san junipero without the angsty feelings. we deserved that. also he really mentioned the two weeks rule i’m weak. THIS IS INFURIATING.

treat people with kindness: the group part just sounds like a sitcom from the 80s. i’m dying. he really did that. and he named it like that :’) ALSO A GAY ANTHEM I CAN’T WAIT TO SCREAM THOSE LYRICS. big end of the days vibe. it’s just so healing and reassuring. it’s so empowering and i love the contrast between the very catchy happy bits (the high notes and the part where he kinda talks at the end reminded so much of mika which is a huge compliment as far as i’m concerned!!!) and that part where he’s singing very slow and soft you can see it’s very personal with him gaining confidence thanks to us during hslot <3 i’m dying this is such an exceptional gesture to like dedicate this to your fans? it’s so universal while being about his own journey (just like home..i’m sobbing) and that is like the mark of great music. also the instrumental is godsent.

fine line: i can see why it’s his favorite and why it is ending the album and giving it its name. i said falling was my fave but honestly fine line might be it too? the only difference is that i didn’t fall in love instantly, it takes time to escalate (it’s very similar to sott in that sense) beginning softly and almost whispered (also the high tone?? i almost didn’t recognized harry but at the same time it’s just 100% percent him but HE NEVER SANG in THAT TONE i’m!!! my jaw is dropping all the way to mars) like you can see it BUILDING to something superior and never made before... it’s a moment, it’s an experience, it just suspends time. like when music can do that for you...it’s infinite stuck in a few minutes. the two last minutes are purely angelic and the most beautiful thing i’ve ever heard. it has very few lines and words but the one there are so meaningful. when the song ended i just stayed a bit in silence without moving i could not believed what i just witnessed. and the album ending with we’ll be alright...it’s so fucking special. and that word doesn’t even give it justice.

fucK. this album is just...i’m trying to find words but how can you. when you make an album as ambitious and as outstanding as HS1 it’s hard to go back to the studio and find a way to equate it (i’m not saying top it because both can’t even be compared...) but he somehow did it?? i had no doubt but holy shit it’s unreal. it’s crazy because fine line is so different from the first one while being as rock and pop but there is a level of maturity and vulnerability that feels just so? different?? i can’t seem to find the right expression but i’m am purely in awe. i dk how harry finds a way to exceed my expectations every time like... it’s?? i’m sorry i’m just so moved and... it just means everything. 

two years and a half after and the feeling is the same. an album changing me and my life at first listen and 48 minutes that felt like a lifetime and a second at the same time.

[jakejamesjournalism]

vampire weekend in the post-rostam era

6/8/2019                                                     

A group of high school kids starting a rock band is a great American past time… especially for those kids cut from the baseball team, THE great American past time.  The type of practice and commitment to collaboration it takes to become a good band or a good ball player is what makes both past times so appealing to the rest of us.  It was the love of the songwriting process first.  It was the smell of the fresh cut infield grass that got the particular individual in a single-minded mission in trying to turn the past time he chose into art.  Famous songwriters and performers loved and obsessed over the music they were recording long before the record deal came the same way pro athletes dedicate their lives to training years before draft day. 

That in itself, becoming successful at your chosen past time, turning it into art, and making a career out of it makes you all the more appealing to your inevitably growing fan base.  Aside from giving their specific audiences an emotional release, the love also comes from the acknowledgement that none of what you had was inherited, it was earned from tireless hours seeking perfection way before any dollars rolled in.  Sadly, most high school bands that scrape together money for studio time and college athletes who put it all on the line don’t ever come close to getting the recognition for their hard work.  They certainly don’t get the money.  This is not to say either activity is a waste of time.  Almost everyone comes out the other end of a band or sports team a better person.  Forming a band and being part of a team can build future collaborative skills that can positively affect the participant in numerous aspects of life…but the money and fame escape him.

Fortunately for some already privileged Columbia undergrads casually starting a band after a night of beer games turned into more than what any of them at the time could’ve imagined.  Although true, it was clear from the very beginning that Vampire Weekend wasn’t just another band.  Ezra Koenig, Rostam Batmanglij, Chris Tomson, and Chris Baio (excuse my oxford comma) made a name for themselves on the indie rock scene within 18 months of their inception.  While some critics spent time whining about how much the band sounded like Paul Simon’s ‘Graceland,’ most heard it as I did.  An indie record at heart with accessible pop ideas that weren’t carried by synths and predictable filler but rather tribal African drum rhythms, live instrumentation, and brilliant, witty wordplay.  This was highlighted on A-Punk, a self-referential gem about New York City that ironically catapulted them to fame way out of the five boroughs.  The two members of the band benefitting the most from the increased acclaim and exposure was Ezra Koenig, lead singer and lyricist and Rostam Batmanglij, who was the multi-instrumentalist often credited with being the brainchild behind the bands entire sound. 

“Rostam and I are the two main songwriters” Ezra said in an interview early in the bands career.  With Contra, the 2010 follow up to their self-titled debut that mythology continued to grow.  The two of them became masters at employing subtle differences in their recording styles.  Instead of using familiar echo sounds and various chamber effects that previously yielded glorious and simplistic pop harmonies, Rostam opted for a more digital sound.  Contra did this while also staying true to the bands organic DIY style.  From a critics standpoint this time around, it was more of a Talking Heads 80s experiment than a Paul Simon one.  While Ezra remained a capable songwriter, he felt the liberty to have more fun with his vocal palette.  On Contra, the band expanded the vocal possibilities.  There was gibberish wailing on the standout track ‘White Sky’ and even distorted speed rap on the song ‘California English’; both came off as successful sonic endeavors.  Rostam mixed Ezra’s vocals beautifully, knowing exactly when to let his feral tendencies run wild and when to harness them into gorgeous vocal textures.  The winning team was making their pastime a thing of true art.  A tandem now responsible for writing two of the most significant indie records of the new era.  It seemed like a partnership that would yield classic tunes for years on end.

It initially seemed this way on the bands third LP Modern Vampires of the City.  A level of maturation some detractors never thought the band could reach was on full display here.  Rostam’s production (this time assisted by pop guru and future collaborator Ariel Rechtshaid) was darker and more experimental without losing a shred of accessibility.  Ezra’s lyrics were far more introspective, dealing with themes of faith, mortality, and ‘Dying Young.’  The album features both ‘Step’ and ‘Hannah Hunt’ the two best songs the band has ever written.  Overall it was a masterpiece.  The band hit full stride; headlining major festivals, winning Grammy awards all while remaining true to their sound.  They were able to solidify themselves as serious artists with a singular vision.  No longer prep school boys who create decent music by taking the best pieces of their influences and mashing them together, this was the sound of a band in total control of their past time. 

It went unsaid, but it was understood, and well deserved, that Vampire Weekend would be enjoying a hiatus after the success and laborious touring schedule surrounding Modern Vampires.  Even so, after the Grammy, the critical acclaim, the incredible sales numbers, something totally unseen to the general public between the two main songwriters wasn’t right.  To everyone’s surprise and utter bewilderment, Rostam decided to leave the band indefinitely.

“My identity as a songwriter + producer needs to stand on its own.” Read Rostam’s public statement.  The news instantly polarized fans.  Many, like myself, criticized Rostam for leaving a good thing, while coming off extremely pretentious and ungrateful.  The man is lucky enough to be cooped up in the most successful songwriting duo in modern day rock music, why would he feel unfulfilled achieving greatness in the setting of a great band? Why must his work stand outside the efforts of collaboration? Who does he think he is?

It was known that Rostam, the multi instrumental production guru was always responsible for the sound of Vampire Weekend, while Ezra supplied the lyrics.  The parting seemed amicable, but all in all it left the future of the band in a precarious situation.  What was Vampire Weekend without Rostam? That very question went years unanswered. 

In the years since Rostam left Vampire Weekend, he has had limited success finding any traction as a solo artist.  His best effort thus far has been a collaborative record with Hamilton Leithauser of the Walkmen.  A brilliant record full of the same elegant strings, organic drum sections, and blissful pianos that came to define the sound of his former band.  Even so, it was still a behind the scenes production victory to add to his resume.  Hamilton is excellent on that record, giving Rostam’s instrumentals a visceral feel with his raspy passionate hoarse vocal delivery. 

As a front man himself, Rostam hasn’t achieved much.  His debut album Half-Light, released in 2017 came and went without much of a peep from anyone.  Indie circles overlooked it, it didn’t have a repeatable single, the vocals were shaky at best I gave it two listens and it passed it into the pile of albums that came and went without making a sound.  Since then, Rostam has not been able to find his voice.  Whether or not he can be an important voice in pop music remains to be seen, the talent behind the boards is there but it’s time for him to realize what he can and cannot do.  It takes a necessary self-awareness to know one’s limitations in any job, in any past time.  A contact hitter who plays his role by getting on base doesn’t swing for the fences.  I believe Rostam’s ego and infatuation with being the front man took him away from his true self a bit. 

Left alone in all this is Mr. Ezra Koenig. Years went on without a whisper of any new music and people started to wonder that same question: What is Vampire Weekend without Rostam? and more pressingly: Can Ezra write a Vampire Weekend album without him?  Turns out, answer is both yes and no.

Enlisting in pop guru and Max Martin collaborator, Ezra and co. brought back Ariel Rechtshaid to give the band help in the production department.  Ezra also used his smarts to understand the best way to go about marketing the new album.  A record far more freewheeling than previous releases, Ezra became more eclectic than ever, and shared a plethora of wide-ranging singles way before the album was scheduled to drop. 

The fourth album by Vampire Weekend, the 18-track record titled Father of the Bride was finally released May 3, 2019. Noted for its fusion of nonchalant broad-ranging grooves and witty pop songs about love, summer days, locking hate at the gate, and a few morbid things as well.  Ariel creates a template of shade from the warming sun for Ezra to bask in and the results are often satisfying.  While this new album won’t go down in history as an instant classic like its predecessor, it’s still hard to consider Father of the Bride to be anything but a monumental success.  Quality songs exist all throughout this thing and contain some of Ezra’s best songs yet.  An arena tour on the way, good new songs to play, and first week sales eclipsing 140k.  Say what you want about sales in today’s musical landscape, it’s impressive when a group of guys who still primarily play guitars can sell 140k first week.  It’s special.  You would have a hard time listing bands that released their debut record after 2000 than can sell over 100k first week and sell out Madison Square Garden.  What Vampire Weekend has is special.  

I’m predicting FOTB to be a summer 19’ novelty.  I’ve already heard cuts out on the streets of Asbury Park NJ, backyard cookouts, and New York City bars alike.  Can jam, car rides with the windows down, and poolside convos, Father of the Bride is a free-wheeling summer record that also has a thing or two you can learn from. 

It’s a wonder to me, knowing what he knows now, if Rostam would make the same decision all over again.  Joining a band is an American past time.  Playing in a band that influences the masses on a grand stage is special and should be cherished and appreciated as such.  Leaving such a beautiful situation seems egotistical. It may not be the case here, but it is the perception.  Ezra has proved himself to be just fine without him.  Rostam has time to blossom.  He is still young and has shown shades of greatness (the production on Frank Ocean’s Ivy is otherworldly) but that once again, is a highlight in music production-something behind the scenes.  Rostam, if you have a voice worth hearing, now is the time. 

[jakejames09]

No Rostam, no problem?  Vampire Weekend in the post-Rostam era

A group of high school kids starting a rock band is a great American past time.  Especially for those kids cut from the baseball team, THE great American past time.  The type of practice and commitment to collaboration it takes to become a good band or a good ball player is what makes both past times so appealing to the rest of us.  It was the love of the songwriting process first.  It was the smell of the fresh cut infield grass that got the particular individual in a single minded mission in trying to turn the past time he chose into art.  Famous songwriters and performers loved and obsessed over the music they were recording long before the record deal came the same way pro athletes dedicate their lives to training years before draft day.  That in itself, becoming successful at your chosen past time, turning it into art, and making a career out of it makes you all the more appealing to your inevitably growing fan base.  Aside from giving their specific audiences an emotional release, the love also comes from the acknowledgement that none of what you had was inherited, it was earned from tireless hours seeking perfection way before any dollars rolled in.  Sadly, most high school bands that scrape together money for studio time and college athletes who put it all on the line don’t ever come close to getting the recognition for their hard work.  They certainly don’t get the money.  This is not to say either activity is a waste of time.  Almost everyone comes out the other end of a band or sports team a better person.  Forming a band and being part of a team can build future team skills that can positively affect the participant in numerous aspects of life...but the money and fame escape him.

Fortunately for some already privileged Ivy League Scholars from New York the band casually started at a Columbia party turned into more than anyone could imagine on that alcohol fueled evening.  Ezra Koenig, Rostam Batmanglij, Chris Tomson, and Chris Baio formed Vampire Weekend.  (Excuse my oxford comma).  From the very beginning it was clear that Vampire Weekend wasn’t just another band.  Within 18 months of their inception, Vampire Weekend made a name for themselves on the indie scene.  While some critics spent time whining about how much the band sounded like Paul Simon’s Graceland, most heard it as I did.  An indie record at heart with accessible pop ideas that weren’t carried by synths and predictable filler but rather tribal African drum rhythms, live instrumentation, and brilliant, witty, self deprecating wordplay.  This was highlighted on A-Punk, a self-referenial gem about New York City that ironically catapulted them to international stardom.  The two members of the band benefitting the most from the increased acclaim and exposure was Ezra Koenig, lead singer and lyricist and Rostam Batmanglij, who was the multi-instrumentalist often credited with being the brainchild behind the bands entire sound. 

“Rostam and I are the two main songwriters” Ezra said in an interview early in the bands career.  With Contra, the 2010 follow up to their self titled debut that mythology continued to grow.  The two of them became masters at employing subtle differences in their recording styles.  Instead of using familiar echo sounds and various chamber effects that previously yielded glorious and simplistic pop harmonies, Rostam opted for a more digital sound.  Contra did this while also staying true to the bands organic DIY style.  From a critics standpoint this time around, it was more of a Talking Heads 80s experiment than a Paul Simon one.  While Ezra remained a capable songwriter, he felt the liberty to have more fun with his vocal palette.  On Contra, the band expanded the vocal possibilities.  There was gibberish wailing on the standout track ‘White Sky’ and even distorted speed rap on the song ‘California English’; both came off as successful sonic endeavors.  Rostam mixed Ezra’s vocals beautifully, knowing exactly when to let his feral tendencies run wild and when to harness them into gorgeous vocal textures.  The winning team was making their pastime a thing of true art.  A tandem now responsible for writing two of the most significant indie records of the new era.  It seemed like a partnership that would yield classic tunes for years on end.

It initially seemed this way on the bands third LP Modern Vampires of the City.  A level of maturation some detractors never thought the band could reach was on full display on MVOC.  Rostam’s production (this time assisted by pop guru and future collaborator Ariel Rechtshaid) was darker and more experimental without losing a shred of accessibility.  Ezra’s lyrics were far more introspective, dealing with themes of faith, mortality, and Dying Young.  ‘Ya Hey’ is still the most ambitious undertaking of the bands career.  Coming off as an eerie baroque pop anthem marching its way through a catchy uneven time signature with huge heart and a singalong melody made the song a special moment in the storied bands catalog.  ‘Unbelievers’ is another one.  One the surface the song seems like your average guitar pop bop but Ezra’s lyrics about mortality and the seriousness behind it add an appropriate darkness that gives an upbeat song a human feel.  A feeling amplified and perfected on Hannah Hunt and Step.  The two best tracks in the bands discography.  The band hit full stride.  Headlined major festivals.  Won a Grammy.  All while remaining true to their sound they were able to solidify themselves as serious artists with a singular vision.  No longer prep school boys who create decent music by taking the best pieces of their influences and mashing them together, this was the sound of a band in total control of their past time. 

It went unsaid, but it was understood, and well deserved, that Vampire Weekend would be enjoying a hiatus after the success and laborious touring schedule surrounding Modern Vampires.  Even so, after the Grammy, the critical acclaim, the incredible sales numbers, something between the two main songwriters wasn’t right.  So even though the latest release solidified the bands immediate legacy Rostam decided to leave the band indefinitely.

“My identity as a songwriter + producer needs to stand on its own.” Read Rostam’s public statement.  The news instantly polarized fans.  Many, like myself, criticized Rostam for leaving a good thing, while coming off extremely pretentious and ungrateful.  The man is lucky enough to be cooped up in the most successful songwriting duo in modern day rock music, why would he feel unfulfilled achieving greatness in the setting of a great band? Why must his work stand outside the efforts of collaboration? Who does he think he is?

It was known that Rostam, the multi instrumental production guru was always responsible for the sound of Vampire Weekend, while Ezra supplied the lyrics.  The parting seemed amicable, but all in all it left the future of the band in a precarious situation.  What was Vampire Weekend without Rostam? That very question went years unanswered. 

But in the years since Rostam left Vampire Weekend, he has had limited success in finding any traction as a solo artist.  His best effort thus far has been a collaborative record with Hamilton Leithauser of the Walkmen.  A brilliant record full of the same elegant strings, organic drum sections, and blissful pianos that were similar to the ones that came to define the sound of Vampire Weekend.  Even so, it was still a behind the scenes production victory to add to his resume.  As a front man, Rostam hasn’t achieved the same success.  His debut album Half-Light, released in 2017 came and went without much of a peep from anyone.  Indie circles overlooked it, it didn’t have a repeatable single, the vocals were shaky at best, and it passed before the world knew it existed.  I think even I only gave it one listen.  Since then, Rostam has not been able to find his voice.  Whether or not he can be an important voice in pop music remains to be seen, the talent behind the boards is there but it’s time for him to realize what he can and cannot do.  It takes a necessary self awareness to know ones limitations in any job, in any past time.  A contact hitter who plays his role by getting on base doesn’t swing for the fences.  I believe Rostam’s ego and infatuation with being the front man took him away from his true self a bit. 

As Rostam struggled to find footing without the band, and as the years went on it seemed like Ezra was in the same boat.  Years went on without a whisper of any new music and people started to wonder that same question: What is Vampire Weekend without Ezra? and more pressingly: Can Ezra write a Vampire Weekend album without him?  The answer is both yes and no.

Enlisting in pop guru and Max Martin collaborator, Ezra and co. brought back Ariel Rechtshaid to give the band help in the production department.  Ezra also used his smarts to understand the best way to go about marketing the new album.  A record far more freewheeling than previous releases, Ezra became more eclectic than ever, and shared a plethora of wide-ranging singles way before the album was scheduled to drop. 

The 18 track record is noted for its fusion of nonchalant broad-ranging grooves and witty pop songs about love, summer days, locking hate at the gate, and a few morbid things as well.  Ariel creates a template of sunshine for Ezra to shine under, and the results are often satisfying.  While this new album won’t go down in history as an instant classic like its predecessor, it’s still hard to consider Father of the Bride to be anything but a monumental success.  Quality songs exist all through this thing that contain some of Ezra’s best wordplay.  An arena tour on the way, good new songs to play, and first week sales eclipsing 140k.  Say what you want about sales in today’s musical landscape, it’s impressive when a group of guys who still play guitars can sell 140k first week.  It’s special.  You would have a hard time listing bands that released their debut record after 2000 than can sell over 100k first week and sell out Madison Square Garden.  What Vampire Weekend has is special.  

Father of the Bride is the soundtrack to many good summer nights.  I’ve already heard cuts out on the streets of Asbury Park NJ, backyard cookouts, and New York City bars alike.  Can jam, car rides with the windows down, and poolside convos, Father of the Bride is a jubilant summer record that also has a thing or two you can learn from. 

It’s a wonder to me, knowing what he knows now, if Rostam would make the same decision all over again.  Joining a band is an American past time.  Playing in a band that influences the masses on a grand stage is special and should be cherished and appreciated as such.  Leaving such a beautiful situation seems hard to believe.  Ezra has proved himself to be just fine without him.  Rostam has time to blossom.  He is still young and has shown shades of greatness (the production on Frank Ocean’s Ivy is otherworldly) but that once again, is a highlight in music production.  Rostam, if you have a voice worth hearing, now is the time. 

[create-ninety]

Wednesday 20th February, ’19. 10am.

There’s nothing quite like going to a gig at a small venue in a trendy part of town to make you feel like a geriatric.

While I was getting ready for the event, I was wondering if I was going too casual – I was wearing a plain t-shirt with black jeans and an oversized floral blazer. Turns out I should have gone in what I normally wear as pyjamas! There were kids (I say kids, because while there were definitely a few ‘older’ people in the crowd, the majority looked like they were born this side of the century) wearing what I can only describe as their dorky mum’s clothes from the seventies. It was bizarre. Lucie and I stood to the side in a somewhat demure fashion by comparison, me sipping on non-alcoholic beer, and Lucie overheating from a temperature brought on by a nasty cold.

We both agreed that, if we were born when they were, it’s this kind of crowd we probably would have found ourselves in. Perhaps it’s because they were wearing exactly what we were wearing, once upon a time. I can imagine this isn’t a unique experience for people who find themselves looking over their shoulder at the next generation and wonder what the hell is going on.

The show itself was great – the band were amazing. I’ve seen them three times now and each time they’ve got better. The audience loved the performance and it was actually quite inspiring to see people passionate about their art in action. And it was obviously the kind of crowd that didn’t bat an eyelid that I was draped over completely over Lucie, which is always a plus.

When we got home, we lay awake talking about it the performers. I wondered what the process is that gets a person to the point where they feel confident enough to get on stage and perform in front of others. Essentially saying, “I am confident enough that my work is good enough to not only subject you to, but I am compelling enough to perform it in front of others.”

That’s a pretty brave thing, for anyone to do. To be inviting open criticism and to stand up and project vulnerability. I do, genuinely, marvel at musicians and stage actors who have to suspend what can only be described as ‘normal reality’ to sing, move about, and create a large amount of sound – something that in any other situation would be wildly inappropriate and strange. And yet there we all were, gathered around a stage, making noise for individuals who were inhabiting that space of vulnerability. I’ve decided that, for me, it’s actually less about hearing the music of the artists when I see the live show, and more about watching and observing the emotions that they’re going through, as they do it. And you can see it on their faces. The nerves, the little shakes, the awkward chatter between songs when the polished performance of practiced routine is paused.

Lucie pointed out to me that writing a novel isn’t so different to that.

In some ways, perhaps not, but by and large I think there are some key differences.

I think that if you’re a creative person by nature, then creativity has the opportunity to express itself in several key ways: as an actor, a musician, a visual artist, or a writer. Each of those could be called spheres with smaller subsets breaking off (stage actors vs film actors, painters vs photographers, poets vs fiction writers, and so on). I suppose it just depends what vehicle you ultimately are drawn to and prefer as your mode of expression. Because ultimately, the point of anything creative is fundamentally the same: it’s just that, expression. You are expressing something emotive, experiential, a message, something others might relate to. And each of those spheres give you the option to do it, but with completely different methods of execution.

When I was growing up I played with all of the different spheres and I can see them all, now, as different sizes and at varying distances from me. At certain points in my life I’ve actually valued them and explored them in different orders. Some have increased in resolution and texture while others have stayed smaller and smoother.

The smallest of my creative spheres, the one most under-developed and child-like, is visual art. I’m not bad at basic sketching or copying something. And I can stare at a piece of art and try and pull out its meaning. But when I was young, the pleasure I’d get from mixing paint or translating an emotion onto a canvas or something else just wasn’t very high for me. So I didn’t spend time doing it. There were moments where I’d develop a surge in interest (this still happens) – I’d go and buy watercolours and start painting for fun, or I’d be obsessed with sketching raccoons or something. But it’s always fleeting, and ultimately, not really something that I have been able to use as the best means of my expression.

I found a lot of joy in stage acting and performing when I was young, right up to my teenage years. I would include public speaking in this. I found it exciting. I liked playing characters with interesting stories, and I liked to turn different emotions on and off to create scenes with others. I liked finding mirrors of myself in characters, and ‘becoming them’, for a short time, was a small reprieve from myself. But sometimes it was hard to occupy the emotions of a character when my own were trying to take centre stage, so to speak. In my last year of high school when I was arguably involved in the most theatre I’d ever done – I was the lead role in my drama class’ final show, I was in a speech finals competition, I was sitting a speech and drama exam that had multiple theatrical components, I was in our school production, and in an improv team – I was stressed as hell. I realised, ultimately, I didn’t like standing up in front of others to be scrutinised as a version of myself that wasn’t me. I didn’t like that there was a ‘right way’ to act, and a ‘wrong way’. Because, well, there’s a director telling you what to do and how to do it. And so when I left school, I stopped any form of acting. I thought about joining a theatre company but I didn’t. I almost studied Theatre at uni, but I didn’t. It just wasn’t the creative vehicle for expression for me and I dropped it all together. I think, as a result, that acting is now my least valued and explored sphere.

Music, on the other hand, was something I discovered in my late teens. I’d tried piano earlier but didn’t like it, because I was taught classical, which to me was basically mathematics with your fingers. I wasn’t good at translating the written music to something that requires you to be so profoundly dextrous. Years later I would discover tab, and learn the general principles of music accidentally. I realised that chords are the foundation of all music, and that chords translate across all string and wind instruments, including the piano. Once I understood that, and once I was able to master basic dexterity and rhythm, music became the most wonderful tool of expression. I was able to write lyrics, write melodies, and then later on, piece them all together to make a song on my computer. I must have made hundreds. I did struggle to ‘finish’ one, though, and my desire to perform them never became overwhelming enough to take it to the next level. For me, it really was just means to express something. I liked the personal nature of it. I liked the different emotions that could be conveyed through the different sounds and instruments. Sharing the songs with anyone was always a profoundly terrifying experience: the music was an extension of myself, as if I had translated my own identity and ‘suffering’ into sound – and for others to hear it, and to judge it, would be for them to judge me.  And so the music sphere for me has grown large, but it has stayed at the same size for some years now. I pick up the guitar when I’m feeling emotional. Or when I want to put music to a poem. And when I see musicians perform, I see love for the vehicle. I often dream about writing an album to compliment a film. I suppose that now, there is actually the option to actually produce music without having to perform at all – you can do it all digitally. But I don’t think that I love it enough to put it out there. There is so much music available. I don’t think that what I create would be contributing to anything other than my own creative expression. And so, it’s for that reason, while it’s fun to dream, I think – unless I suddenly have unlimited free time and money – that it’s something I’ll never take further than just tinkering around when I fancy.

Writing, for me, is the perfect mode of expression. It’s a completely internal process. With music there is this external component, which I think is ultimately what turns me off about it, but with writing, it can be done completely behind a veil. When it is released into the world, it’s consumed by a reader internally. You are not the work. The work is as separate from you as possible (perhaps in many ways like visual art). This is what appeals to me so deeply. That I get to have a personal, raw, emotive and transformative experience writing something and exploring it in a depth that has so many layers of meaning. And when someone reads it, the work becomes a personal experience for them. You are just a a vehicle for the expression. My physical form, my personal likes and dislikes and expressions, are not relevant to the ideas being put out into the world. And I love this. Writing also carries with it the highest possibility for profound connection: books take a long time to be read, and upon each separate reading, new meaning can be found and uncovered. The same can be said for all the spheres, absolutely – I’ve certainly spent hours listening to the same song and attached various meanings to it, and felt connections to musicians I’ve never met  – but there is something unique about a narrative with a character who goes on a journey. I would argue that in a book you can still experience all five senses, but in an abstract way.

I don’t like the thought of who I am as a person getting in the way of the message. I want to place the art and the ideas at the centre of the experience. When you involve yourself – in a way that musicians and actors have to do – then you become consumable. And that is a scary concept for me. One could argue that the person performing is actually, themselves, part of the art - I would imagine this to be true - but I think this is what differentiates the spheres.

And, more than anything, writing is as automatic and as essential to me as breathing. Or eating. It’s just something that’s part of my day and necessary for normal functioning. For people who master the other spheres, you can see that they have this feeling about their own medium. I saw it on the faces of the performers last night. They live and breathe music. Their instruments are extensions of their identities that they have to exorcise. When I scroll through the Instagram profiles of visual artists, their dedication to the craft is demonstrated through the picture after picture after picture of their creations.

And, finally, I am now – perhaps like the musicians – confident enough to think that my work is good enough. I also think it’s now good enough for others. So yes, maybe I am more like the musicians than I think.

[pocharryfics]

hi!! do u mind writing a drabble inspired by harry and his motorcycle?

At this point in your relationship, you would have thought that Harry would have learned not to question your choice in movies - if you had selected something for the two of you to watch, it undoubtedly served some purpose in one way or another. Many of your favorites growing up had become matriculated into his own film collection and more often than not, he preferred the choices you made to his own.

But when you had cued up Grease 2 instead of its more universally popular predecessor, he couldn’t contain himself and his reservations had surfaced before he had the time or forethought to stop it.

“Why’re we watchin’ that one? It’s awful.”

You had heard that phrase recited almost verbatim anytime you chose to watch this film with someone and each time you gave the same response.

“Have you ever seen Grease 2 before?”

The immediate reply was almost always the same as well.

“No.”

“No? Well how do you know it’s bad if you’ve never seen it?”

That usually begets stunned silence, and you always seize advantage of that moment of disbelief to make your case.

“The problem is that people always compare it to the first one. As a standalone film, it’s not bad at all actually and it has pretty good songs.”

Harry was still unconvinced, looking as though he’d much rather just watch the original, but held out his arms open for you nonetheless and settled in for the movie.

Around halfway through the film is when it all started to piece together for Harry and he understood your obsession with the underappreciated film. Certain songs you would hum along to or contently nod your head at, but the “Cool Rider” scene in the auditorium is what really got you on your feet.

It was your favorite song in the entire film and while Harry wasn’t as entranced by the magic of it all, he was certainly endeared by it - for the most part just enjoying you enjoying the film.

“So he’s gonna become a greaser an’ try to win her over?”

“Oh Harry, it’s so romantic, too! He becomes this super cool biker badass and sweeps her right off her feet when she’s at work,” you cooed, humming along to the final notes as Michelle Pfeiffer danced off screen.

“Mmmm. Well thanks for the spoilers, love. S’not like I wanted to see it for myself,” Harry teased, pulling you back against his chest and tucking a bit of your hair out of his face.

“Sorry, I just really love that bit. Ever since I was a little girl I always fantasized about a handsome guy on a motorcycle pulling up and picking me up from school. I know it’s silly, but watching this movie just reminds me of that.”

Harry only nods and squeezes you a bit tighter. You were being so uncharacteristically adorable that he couldn’t help but soak it in as much as he could and when that particular scene came on, he understood the appeal. The masked motorcyclist had showed up to the gas station where she worked, rescued her from rude customers, and they had literally drove off into to the sunset together. Who wouldn’t be endeared by that? He had even swooned a bit so he couldn’t imagine how dreamy this would have been to you as a little girl.

A slow smirk spread across his face as an idea occurred to him. He quickly peered down at you to make sure your eyes were still focused on the screen. When he saw that they were, he grabbed his cell and thumbed a quick message to Ben Winston - he’d need to make an unexpected visit to his home very soon.

You were unbelievably exhausted. In what could have only been a few minutes, your political science professor had droned on for what seemed like hours on a side tangent about the electoral college. Usually you wouldn’t have minded this - it contextualized the lessons as well as helped improve your understanding and gave a brief reprieve from the vigilant note taking you had been doing - but the next exam was two weeks away and there was still material that needed to be covered.

It seemed that your fellow classmates held the same reservations, some going as far as closing their laptops altogether. The chances of your professor finishing up the tangent and providing any additional information pertinent to the exam in these last few minutes of the lecture were slim.

“You got any plans after this?” Your study buddy Sylvia whispered to you, trying to discreetly pack away their belongings.

“Nah, just gonna head up to the library and look over my notes,” you quietly replied.

“Good, cause I wasn’t here last class and had missed the lecture. Can I see your notes?”

“Sure,” you hummed.

“Well that’s about it for today, folks. The study guide is posted online and I’ll be available Tuesday and Thursday during my office hours if you have any questions. See you all on Wednesday afternoon.”

The lecture hall emptied out as if the building were on fire, dozens of dead-eyed and weary academics shambling for refuge outside. You knew that available space in the library was scarce at this time of day and that if you stood any chance of grabbing a seat then you would have to get a move on soon. A much-needed caffeine fix would have to wait until then and a proper meal even more so and you hoped that the sharp hunger pains wouldn’t dull your concentration too much.

A sudden and thunderous roar ripped through the campus quad - sleek, lean, and impressively glossy, a motorcycle drifted a corner and pulled up on the curb.

The masked motorcyclist had a thousand eyes on him, most everyone in the quad staring. Just as quickly as it had appeared, the engine of the howling machine had ceased its clamor as its rider turned the key. A plethora of coeds strutted past his bike, flipping their hair and waving in hopes of catching the mystery mans attention but he seemed to only have eyes for his phone. You and Sylvia rolled your eyes and shared an exasperated laugh as the spurned ladies huffed at the rejection.

A low buzz emitted from the right pocket of your sweatpants. You slid your thumb across the screen to unlock the device and the message that read nearly made you drop the phone.

Your head whipped up from your phone and you swore you could see the smirk underneath the helmet. In retrospect, you should have known it was Harry the second he had pulled up. Those famous boots were recognizable almost anywhere and if you weren’t so exhausted you would have noticed it sooner.

Just gonna stand there and pretend like you don’t see me?

No fucking way.