#so now theres more room under there for just. Anything i guess. Not bugs though. If there ate bugs they will be killed on sight

[flippedorbit]

Deep cleaning my room <3

nature is healing

[ange1s]

cherry emoji - mark lee

synopsis: in which mark asks to see your boobs, and the idea you had of your relationship is thrown up in the air.

wc: 3.6k

genre: this is so fluffy it hurts, some angst but nothing crazy

tw: suggestive themes (boobs), swearing

playlist: pluto projector by rex orange county, ivy by frank ocean, tapestry by bruno major

a/n: guess whos back ,, back again ,,, ange1s back ,,, tell a friend,,,, also this is unedited so i'm sorry if theres a mistake :')

my anon asks are open !! feel free to ask me anything or request something <3

“i have a weird question.” mark says timidly. you’re sat on the floor, your back against his bed playing a rhythm game on your phone. he is sat at his desk, parallel to his bed, but with the rolling chair swivelled around to face you straight ahead. you don’t look up.

“hmm.” you hum, focused on the game.

mark swallows. “can i see your boobs?”

you drop your phone into your lap, forgetting about the game. you look up at him, straight into his eyes, and you giggle.

“wait, what?”

mark avoids your eyes almost fearfully, as if you were a detective questioning him for a crime. “can i see your boobs?” softer, this time.

you let out a shallow laugh. “don’t you watch porn? there are boobs there.”

mark blushes. “no! i mean, yes i do, but not real boobs.”

you cross your arms under your boobs on purpose, just to push them up a little higher to drive him nuts. mark sits back in his chair in frustration.

“so you think women aren’t real? that all boobs in porn are fake? jeez mark i thought you cared about women-“

“no! that’s not what i meant!” he says, exasperated. he continues to avoid eye contact with you. “of course i don’t think-“

you laugh again, keeling over. “relax mark, i know you don’t think all women are plastic.”

“look, there’s nothing wrong with being plastic, women can do whatever they-“ mark speaks quickly and nervously as if he were on trial.

“shut up minhyung,” you cut him off with a softer, more serious tone. “why do you want to see my boobs? you’re famous and cute. you could instantly find boobs wherever you go.”

he chuckles. “the word boob is so funny.”

“not the point, minhyung!”

he leans back over, the embarrassment slowly washing away. “stop calling me minhyung!”

“never, minhyung!” you retort without even thinking. you stand up to sit on his bed, now at eye level with him. “now, explain.”

“i… i dunno. i’ve just never seen boobs before. like, in person.”

you look directly at him, brain not even thinking anymore. words just fly out of your mouth with ease. “were you breastfed?”

“y/n!” he exclaims out of frustration. the embarrassment fizzles back in. he throws his head to the back of his chair and covers his eyes with his palm dramatically. he runs his hand down his face, tugging on the soft skin as it travels down. as his hand makes it back down to his lap, you giggle a little louder. “my mom’s boobs don’t fucking count. god, you made me think of my mom’s boobs. what the fuck?”

“sorry,” you manage in between giggles. “sorry, this is so funny.”

“this is impossible. i knew i shouldn’t have asked you.” mark pulls himself out of the chair and heads for the door, but you’re just as fast as him.

“now wait…” you grab his wrist to keep him from leaving. a wave of guilt washes over you. “i was just kidding.”

“were you? you didn’t sound like you were.” he says, his face still turned away from yours.

he sounds strangely hurt. “mark, are you okay?”

mark turns to face you and he looks defeated. he slumps down on the floor next to you, his knees up near his chest and his head in his hands.

“mark…”

“they were making fun of me.”

“who?”

“my friends! they were making fun of me. god, i sound like such an idiot now, whining about my friends like this, oh my god. i sound like a child.”

you rest your elbow on his shoulder giving your hand access to run through his soft, black hair. “you don’t sound like a child. you’re allowed to get upset.”

you take note at how the air shifted in the room. how quickly you focused and listened. you’re only like this around mark. with him, conversations can shift in an instant to anything. you understand each other on a deep, personal level. it’s something you don’t think you’ll ever have with another person for your entire life. maybe your soulmate. honestly? you can only dream to have this sort of connection with your soulmate, a connection so alive and so full of trust. is it even possible to have this with someone else? the fact that mark can make you think about how much he trusts you during a conversation about boobs is something only mark can make you feel. no one else. just him.

has it always been just him?

“it’s so stupid though. one minute lucas is bugging me about the fact that i’m a virgin and i’ve never seen boobs before and the next minute i’m on the floor of my bedroom with you, still not having seen any boobs mind you, nearly crying. damn. this is the lowest point i will ever reach.”

you push his hands away from his face and place your hands on his cheeks instead. “mark, please don’t cry. i hate it when you cry.”

the last time you saw mark cry was a month ago after watching a disney movie. seeing him cry just makes you cry, and since you were already crying, you just cried harder. seeing you cry makes him cry too, so he cried harder as well. the two of you just cried together until your heads hurt, to which you both took tylenols and tried to dance it off.

“i’m pathetic. insecure and pathetic.”

this is when you realize that there is more depth to his feelings than you thought.

“look, mark, i’ll show you my boobs. i trust you. i’m honestly surprised you haven’t seen them accidentally yet since i’ve known you for so long.” you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. didn‘t work. “but i get the feeling that there’s more to this then just boobs.”

mark never really vented to you like this before. despite how close you are, he still kept things from you growing up, as a teenage boy does. you never took offense to this, as you kept plenty from him too. he never quite talked about his insecurities, his fears. he didn’t want to burden you with them. mark, so sweet and thoughtful. maybe too much for his own good. he needs to learn to share things.

he's starting to, though.

it takes him a while to speak, avoiding your eyes entirely. he speaks lowly, as if he was scared to tell the world what he was about to say.

“it’s just… everything about this sucks. everything. i’m kinda scared to tell you things, which can make us drift apart because we lose trust. then again, if i do tell you things, i’m scared it’ll freak you out and i’ll lose you. those are both bad endings. then, i’m scared to put myself out into the world. like, lucas is telling me to just find someone. go out, ask for a number, have a good time, live like someone in their 20s should be living. i can’t really do it though. every time i try, i choke. lucas once tried to set me up, you remember that, right?”

“yeah, that was the girl who stood you up.”

“yeah. it’s awful. every time i try it fails. i’ve been trying to get to the bottom of why it fails every single time but i just couldn’t. but then, i realized.” he shifts and faces you causing your hands to fall off his face and into your lap. “when i came home after being stood up, i wasn’t sad. i forgot the moment i left the restaurant. i texted lucas that the date didn’t happen and just shut my phone off and went to your place. i wasn’t sad because i knew i had you. i knew that you were going to make me feel better and that made it all go away.” he pauses. “you know? sometimes i get worried that i put too much on you. you’re my happiness, my relaxation, my joy. i worry sometimes that you’ll suffocate because i take so much from being with you. i keep this in the back of my head all the time because i just don’t want you to go. ever.”

holy shit.

“mark…”

“let me finish. i talked about this with lucas, and he told me that i can let myself be selfish sometimes. he said that i can want this that… that i can want you. i can think about you and how you make me happy and i can want that happiness yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and the day after. shit, i care about you more than anything. my heart swells and my stomach gets all these annoying little butterflies when i think of you. it’s fucking crazy. and now, today, here i am. you know, lucas, jaemin and i were talking about girls and boobs and fuck i don’t know, jaemin said that i just had to get that intimacy with someone. and it just fucking clicked. the only person i want to be intimate with is you and i’m thinking now that maybe i was stupid for asking to see your boobs. which is so stupid, i could’ve just asked to kiss you or share a bed with you or i don’t know. i’m really sorry if that was gross of me. i just wasn’t thinking. it’s so damn hard to think straight when it comes to you. i just really want to be closer to you, however that might be.”

your heart races at a speed that doctors would deem impossible. you don’t know what to think or where to look. you feel like you’re going to explode. though, if you explode, he’ll probably explode too. that wouldn’t be good.

mark looks down. he fills with regret. he doesn’t think he should've said that. maybe you'll hate him now. maybe you’ve never felt this way about him before.

you inhale slowly, trying to convince your lungs that breathing is normal and not something that can just stop when hearing speeches like this.

what is the proper thing to say? mark i love you? but do you love him? everything is so confusing right now. of course you love him, but you never considered love in this way. can i kiss you? too forward? but he wants intimacy, and you want it too. i feel the same way? boring. you can do better. mark, and his way with words. so beautiful. how do you compete? mark, you’re beautiful. mark is so beautiful. you try so hard to compose the words. maybe too hard. maybe it’s okay to go with option 3.

now, they just flow out. “mark… i think i feel the same way you do. i don’t know it’s just- i’ve always felt some sort of way toward you. something is so special about you. i spent years trying to decipher it, thinking it was just something platonic or brotherly or i dunno. i just never considered… this. i don’t even know what to call this. but it feels right. you’ve always felt right.”

he has. and he always will. he looks at you so lovingly, his enamoured gaze stuck on you. you can’t look up at him, but he watches you.

you continue. “fuck, i don’t know what to say. i’m so… god.” you run your fingers through your hair, as if to comb your brain in search for the right words. “i think you’re so beautiful. everything about you. and i’m so fucking grateful to have someone as amazing as you in my life. i don’t know what i did to deserve someone like you, and i feel like i really don’t deserve you. but it feels right. to be with you. to be alone with you. it’s just right.”

you let a little tear trickle down your cheek. you know if you look up at him, you’ll probably cry harder. you know this well, yet you look up.

“i don’t know what i did to deserve you either.” mark sighs. it’s his turn to wipe your tears now.

“so… what is this? what… are we?” you ask, melting into his hand, which somehow feels softer on your face.

“i don’t know. we can be whatever you want us to be.”

you playfully punch his shoulder, his hands sliding off your cheeks. “come on, you know i hate it when you say that.”

he gets defensive. “and you know i hate it when you hit me! you have a strong hand, yanno? shit!”

you laugh at him, clearing the last unwanted tear off your cheek with the pad of your thumb. “what can i say? gained strength from all those pillow fights over the years.”

“yeah, pillow fights i won.”

“shut up! you know i won the one at jeno’s party!”

mark laughs aloud. your favourite sound. “yeah, because everyone was drunk and you were still on your second drink. it was a very unevenly matched fight!”

“i still won!” you cross your arms and sit up straight as if you assert dominance over the conversation. who are you kidding? it’s all a joke anyways.

you crack after a moment and both of you erupt in a fit of giggles. his head falls into the crook of your neck, and it feels right. it’s almost as if your skin buzzed. you don’t know why, he’s done this many times before. but now, it’s different. the air has shifted again, so quickly. only with mark.

when he comes off of your neck, you stand up. you walk up to the door of his room, and lock it.

“y/n, what-“

you sit on his bed. “can’t have someone walk in while you’re ogling at my boobs, right? i know you and you’d never be able to live that down.”

mark is quick to stand up in defence. “what? no, we don’t have to do that anymore. i said my piece and im over the boob thing and-“

“shut up mark. you know you want to. and i kinda wanna show you too.”

he sits down on the bed across from you without another word but before either of you can move, he speaks again. “wait, kinda? please don’t feel obligated. only do this if you’re-“

“minhyung, please! i want to, ok? i really appreciate how you’re taking care of me but it’s fine. i trust you, and you trust me, right?”

he swallows hard. “right.”

“okay, perfect.” you pull your shirt off over your head, leaving you in your bra. if this was with any other boy, you’d be self conscious about literally everything: the bra you chose, the shape of your body, the hair in the places you let grow out. with mark, none of it matters now. he’s seen you in bathing suits before, this isn’t much different. and knowing how much he cares for you anyways, you know his head is clouded with praise and nothing less. his brain is working so fast right now, he probably won’t even register any imperfections.

“can i take your bra off?” mark sputters out as if he were holding onto the words for hours. “or wait, fuck-“

“yes, you can.”

he is almost shocked at your answer, and it shows. mark’s hands move slowly, his skin slightly cold as he grazes your skin. he leans in unbelievably close to wrap his arms around you to reach your back. he feels your breath on his chin, and your beautiful eyes look so sweet as you look up at him. when he finds the clasp, he kisses your nose as he pulls away, your bra coming back with him. you straighten your arms so the straps fall right off, showing your boobs.

mark is shocked. flabbergasted, even. his jaw almost drops in a shameless, teenaged boy way.

“dang. they’re so cute.”

you scoff. “cute? first boobs of your life and all you have to say is cute?”

“well what else can i say? i am not very well versed in the vast vocabulary that exists to describe your boobs.” he chuckles. “jeez, why is the word boob so fucking funny?”

you can’t help but smile timidly alongside him. that is what mark does, he makes you feel safe no matter what the situation. mark is always worried about you, worried if you are feeling comfortable and if you are okay with what is going on. he never wants things to be tense when you are around, because he hates to see you upset.

right now, you are the opposite of upset.

“y/n,” he brings your attention back to him. you hum in response. “can i touch?”

you freeze for a moment, and nod timidly. mark scoots a little bit closer, and reaches out with his right hand to gently cup your left breast. his hand is warm, and your skin needs a second to adjust to his temperature. he squeezes the flesh in the absolute slightest way, and quickly brings his hand back. he laughs almost exasperated.

“oh my god, it’s squishy? boobs are squishy?! why did that never register in my head?” he laughs loudly, as if he had just discovered something monumental.

“you’re just finding out now? oh my god mark, that’s common knowledge!”

mark looks down, his cheeks red from laughing. “dang, i’m so touch starved that i never knew until now that boobs are squishy. insanity.”

“the more you bring it up, the sadder it gets.” you reply.

he looks up at you with scrunched eyebrows. “don’t be mean. can i touch again?”

“yes, you can.”

mark cups your left boob with his right hand again, this time running his thumb softly over the supple skin. he doesn’t know what his limits are yet. can he go further? can he touch other parts of your boobs? can he touch other parts of your body? he is scared of going too fast and scaring you. mark is doing his very best today to be as careful as possible, as this is probably, remarkably, the best day of his life so far.

he pushes his index finger into your boob gently to poke it, and you laugh softly. at this point, you are just looking down at mark’s hand on your body. honestly, the fact that he isn’t doing anything is almost relaxing.

you look at how slowly his finger moves, like your skin is made up of the most delicate material in the world. he holds you with such care, such control. it is a feeling you want to feel again, and again, and again.

mark inhales slowly. he wants to go further. he wants more. he doesn’t know how you feel yet, but he will wait for you every step of the way.

but just as he opens his mouth, he hears a thud on his door. “mark hyung, we’re home! is y/n here? come eat with us!”

you both jump, as jaemin’s loud voice destroys the entire atmosphere. mark turns a cute shade of pink almost immediately, and takes his hand off of your skin. you are surprised at first, but lose all tension as you watch mark’s reaction. the poor boy is so embarrassed, but even more upset at how shortly your time was cut off. you laugh as he grabs your bra and tries to put it back on you. unfortunately, he cannot figure out how to close the back shut.

“i’m here! we’ll be there in a sec.” you shout, sparing mark from saying something stupid. you clip your bra straps together, and pull your shirt back on.

mark looks upset. “i’m so sorry they cut us off. they were supposed to be out all day, fuck. i’m sorry-”

“mark, baby, it’s okay. you didn’t know. besides, this isn’t ending here.”

mark looks up at you. “baby?”

“oh gosh, i don’t know where that came from. i’m sorry.”

“no no, its cute. i like it. baby. it just…”

“makes sense?”

he nods. “yeah. this makes sense. it really does.”

mark’s heart pounds in his chest as he takes your hands in his. today, they feel softer, warmer. he inhales sharply once again, hoping this time jaemin doesn’t break his door down, or something of the sort.

his thumb does the thing again, rubbing your skin gently. “y/n, i don’t want to be friends anymore. i think we are more than friends.”

you smile. “i do too. this makes sense.”

mark feels like he is going to explode. that would be bad though, because if he exploded, you would too. that wouldn’t be good for anyone.

“so i guess you’re my girlfriend now.”

you giggle softly. “that sounds so much better than best friend.”

“dang, it kinda does, doesn’t it?”

you let go of his hands and climb off his bed. he follows instantly after you do. right before you go to unlock the door, mark takes your hand once again, and turns you to face him.

you heart races as you lock eyes with him. you cannot believe everything that happened today. how your best friend, who you’d known for your whole life, confessed everything he felt for you, and poked your boobs mere minutes after. and that’s okay, because that’s mark. your mark.

“do we have to go down? i really want to see your boobs again.”

you lean over and place a kiss on his cheek, which causes him to lose his train of thought completely. “you’ll see them again soon, i promise. but if we don’t go down, jaemin will come upstairs and try opening your door. you know him, he’ll freak out when he sees that it’s locked. we’d get found out before we even have a chance to start.”

mark sighs. “fine. no more boobs today. guess i’ll just have to suffer without your boobs in my hands. shit, how am i going to survive?”

you unlock the door, and twist the handle. “well baby, i guess you’ll have to figure it out.”

[julie-thefatones]

Ghost of You || Luke x Reader || Part 4

A/N: Your best friends with Julie, since the stamp was removed from the boys they are able to be seen by lifers at choice and can touch lifers at choice, but are still ghosts. You and Luke grow closer and closer starting to go from friends to more than that and everyone starts to notice, it just takes a little longer for you two to figure it out.

Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3

Side Note: The song that Luke "writes" about Y/N is in fact Moving Along by 5 SOS look it up its a good one

Word Count: 3,088

WARNINGS: 16+ (Sexual References)

It had been weeks since yours and Lukes encounter, in fact you guys have barely talked.... Anytime you guys hung out it was always with the group and only the group and every time he would barely even look at you, you didnt really know what to think of it .... you missed him, yeah you knew that it was gonna be different than before but not this different... You were walking out of 4th period when Carrie came jogging down the hall to catch up with you "Hey Y/N! im gonna walk with you" She said in her normal high pitched Carrie voice, you gave her a shy but inviting smile and then hugged your books to your chest, you hadn't really felt like your self since this whole thing happened, Carrie could see the sadness in your demeanor "Are you okay Y/N? you have been down for like..... weeks" Carried asked with concern, you kind of sighed because thinking about it was hard enough let alone talking about, but you thought your friend deserved an explanation, you glanced in Carries direction "Not really" you said with sadness in your voice "Me and Luke had an... incident so to speak a few weeks ago and it kind of caused a rift in our friendship and now he won't even look at me or talk to me....." you sighed and looked down at the floor "I miss him" you said in a barely audible sad tone, Carrie came closer to you and put a gentle hand on your back showing she cared "Can I ask ... what happened between you and Luke.... you guys were so close, like it was rare to ever see you guys not together" Carrie asked in a soft tone trying not to be pushy, you contemplated on telling her or not *What do I got to loose* you thought to yourself then stopped walking, turning to face Carrie

"Okay.... you just cant tell anyone okay" you said getting close enough to Carrie so that only she could hear what you were saying, her eyes widened with intrigue "Yeah, I promise Y/N" she said urgently to insure you knew that she wouldn't tell a soul "Me and Luke......" you started saying, then stopping to look side to side, to make sure that no one was listening to what you were saying, then looking straight back into Carries eyes "Me and Luke, almost slept together... like it was going to happen but then ... Alex and Reggie Poofed in and then it was a huge mess and then Me and Luke agreed to just be friends and now we are here" You said in a slight urgent whisper, Carries mouth was wide open with shock with her eyes bugged out of her head "Carrie?" you said widening your eyes in concern to why she wasn't answering yet "Carrie!" you exclaimed in hopes she would snap out of it "YOU AND LUKE WHAT!" she yelled in which you immediately slammed your hand over her mouth "Can you not yell maam" you said with tight lips and wide eyes, Carrie shook her head yes under your mouth and relaxed, you released your hand from her mouth in which she started talking instantly "Im sorry! you and Luke what? why am I just now hearing this" Carrie exclaimed in a whispered tone, you sighed and continued walking down the hallway, in which she followed after you "Because I didnt want anyone to know .... I didnt want to make a big deal.... especially since Luke isn't even talking to me ..... I don't know... I just really really miss him" You said in a melancholy tone, Carrie looked at you as if she was gonna say something and then Alex poofed in right in front of you and Carrie, stopping you both in your tracks "Woah! Hey Alex" You said in a high pitched tone, you thought you would be used to them popping in like that by now but you weren't "Luke misses you too! hes driving me crazy" Alex exclaims motioning his hands from his head like he is going out of his mind, You just look at Alex not really knowing what to say, Carrie just looking back and forth from you to Alex waiting for one of you to speak again, Alex continues on with his rant "Y/N! hes so mopey, hes just sitting around all day writing in his stupid freaking song book with his sad Luke face! and anytime I try to ask him to do something or ask him what wrong he just looks at me with that face you know that Luke face that is just like brooding and HIS LUKE

FACE!" Alex says in frustration all while pacing back and forth in front of you guys, messing with his hair in frustration and annoyance, and then he abruptly stops in front of you with wild eyes, grabbing both your shoulders "Y/N! you gotta go make up with him or something! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Alex exclaims, you had to admit this was slightly entertaining you couldn't help but chuckle, but then you sighed thinking about the *You gotta make up with him* part of what Alex said "Theres nothing to make up, we aren't fighting ..... we just ..... I guess aren't as close as we were" You said back to your sad voice , Alex rolls his eyes throwing his hands up in the air doing a slight twirl to face away from you and then a quick motion back to face you "BULL CRAP! YOU GUYS CANT GO FROM ALMOST BONING EACH OTHER TO NOT TALKING AT ALL THAT FAST!! YOU GUYS NEED TO TALK! NOW" Alex exclaims, now pushing you toward the door, Carrie just laughing and then following after to not miss anything "GET HIM OUT OF MY STUDIO, AND FIX HIM!" Alex continues pushing you out the door, him and Carrie just standing in the hallway looking out the door as you walk down the street in major confusion to what just happened, Alex sighs "I really hope I got through to her but wasn't like mean ya know" he says tilting his head to the side as he watched you walk away through the school doors, Carrie tilting her head in the same direction but snapping it up ward to look at Alex "No I think you did a great job! very well executed" She said with reassurance, Alex snaps his head up to look back at her "Thank you, ya know I just ..... I really want Luke out of the studio" He said bringing his hand to heart.

As you walked down the street you decided you weren't gonna go see Luke, it just felt too weird and you didnt want to impose, you just decided to go home... you just wanted to sleep! not talk to anyone or deal with anyone! just sleep! you thought to yourself....... your feet dragged you up the stairs into your room, you slammed the door and face planted on your bed when you noticed something in the corner of your eye... It was your guitar, Luke had kept it with him since he gifted it to you just to keep it safe, but there it was, with its own stand and everything, then you noticed a note sticking out of the strings, you quickly rolled out of your bed to stumble over and read it, you gently pulled the note out of the strings being careful not to damage the guitar in any way, the front of the note read To: Y/N you could tell it was Luke who left it there because of the awful, but cute hand writing, it smelled like him and you thought that was a weird thing to think but .... you missed that smell, you took a moment thinking about the last time you breathed in his scent.... flashing back to the night you guys almost..... you shook your head bringing your self back to focus and opening the letter

Dear Y/N,

Hey.... long time no talk eh? how are you? I don't know why im asking that this is a letter not a text message..... anyway! here's your guitar, figured it wouldn't be any good to ya if you didnt have it. It didnt have a strap or anything so I took the liberty of picking one out for you, I figured you would like this one it has checkers all over it, It will match your vans... and my vans too! thats pretty cool .... I almost bought one for my self I think still might, look at us matching guitar straps! Reggie is gonna be so jealous! Anyway, I hope your doing good ... Oh! and good luck on you French test! I know you were nervous about that, I know youre gonna rock it! you always do

-Luke

You closed the letter holding it to your chest and smiling, you lightly lifted the guitar strap with your finger to look at it, you chuckled noticing that you were actually wearing your checkered vans today. You removed your finger letting the strap fall gently back to place, you sighed curling your legs up to your chest. You remembered that the band had a show tonight... *Should I go?* you thought to your self... you initially thought you wouldn't go, but it would be nice to support your friends, and maybe you and Luke should talk *Okay Im gonna go!* you thought to your self confidently, but first you needed a nap.

It was 7:00pm, you arrived at the venue of the gig 30 minutes before their performance, the place was packed! you knew you should have gotten their earlier, but it was hard enough to get out of bed to get here... wasn't exactly easy for you.

You danced along with the bands that were on before Julie and the boys, you noticed Flynn and Carrie across the venue, they noticed you back waving their hands in the air in excitement for you to join them, You grow a big smile and excitedly run over to join them... you hug them in a greeting, and just then you heard the announcer say "Please put your hands together for Julie and The Phantoms" the crowd goes wild, Julie and the boys had become quite popular in your town, You, Carrie, and Flynn made it a point to be the loudest ones out of everyone though. Julie entered the stage, alone like she always did, she made her way over to the keyboard and sat down. She pressed one button on the keyboard in order for the boys to poof on stage, Luke immediately starts singing while simultaneously playing the guitar "Thinking bout you lots lately! Have you been eating breakfast alone like me! Thinking bout you lots lately Oh are you moving along!" You had never heard this song before, it must have been new, Luke played and sang effortlessly, you didnt really notice the lyrics until you noticed Carrie and Flynn looking at you with curious wide eyes, Luke sang with such passion in his voice, he always did but this time seemed different. When the bridge came Luke found you in the crowd his eyes getting big but then locking his eyes with yours as he sang, not breaking his stare, singing "Scared of moving on, but you're already gone So if you're moving on, won't you just tell me? Scared of moving on, but you're already gone So if you're moving on, won't you just tell me?" As soon as the bridge ended he broke your gaze, you shook your head in order to get your self to recover, you look over at Carrie and Flynn who were watching you for your reaction, you look back up at the stage, Luke and Reggie were doing their classic move of sharing the mic during the chorus, then Luke broke off, playing the melody on his guitar with such... what seemed like anger, or frustration. You started questioning if you should have even come tonight *Was this a mistake..... he looks mad* you thought to yourself, now biting your thumb due to your new anxiety toward the situation. When the song ended Luke shook his hair which was now damp with sweat, and then he stared at you, you couldn't tell what his emotions were at this moment.... *oh boy, how am I gonna make it through this night* you thought to your self.

The band had a great set, after the new song they played Finally Free, which was one of your favorites, then they did Bright. You were really proud of your best friend and how successful her and the boys were becoming. The whole event was over and the place was now pretty much empty, it was just you, Carrie, and Flynn waiting for Julie and the Boys to come out from the back. You were super nervous to see Luke, you didnt know what to say, was that song about you? you wondered to your self.... in the middle of your internal crisis you saw Julie coming from the back with Alex, Reggie following behind all smiling and then Luke shortly after them, he wasn't smiling though, he was just anxiously messing with the hair behind his head. Carrie and Flynn ran up to Julie to give her a hug to congratulate her on the show, you broke your gaze from Luke in order to do the same, you quickly ran over to give your best friend a hug "Congrats Jules! that was an amazing show!" you exclaimed and then motioned to the boys "All of you!" you said looking at all of them, and then setting your eyes on Luke just a little longer than everyone else, he just shyly smiled in response "Thanks Y/N!" Reggie Exclaimed "Did you like the first song? Luke wrote it about you!" Reggie continued with a big smile and a slight chuckle at the end, Lukes eyes widened with annoyance, Alex just turned slowly to face Reggie, his eye twitching in the process, Reggie just looked confused at both of them "What? was she not supposed to know" Reggie asked like he really didnt know, You just stood there shyly, not really knowing what to say, Carries eyes widened "Well!! Flynn! Julie! Alex! and Reggie! I think there is something over here you guys should see its really cool?" Carrie said breaking the awkward tension, or trying to at least, motioning everyone in to the other side of the venue in order to give you and Luke some privacy "Why whats over here?" Reggie asked confused, in which Alex pulled his arm with annoyance rolling his eyes "Just come on reg!" Alex said with a frustrated tone pulling him in the direction Carrie was leading everyone. Soon enough they all disappeared behind a curtain on the other side of the venue, You turned to look at Luke who had his hands in his front pockets, he looked up to make eye contact with you, a half smile appeared on his face as you guys shared a look, you couldn't help but smile a little too. Luke lifted one leg up and then hoped forward to get closer to you "Soooo....." He said as if he didnt know what to do next, You put your hands in your back pockets, then motioned your shoulders forward a little "Sooooo" You echoed back to him, he chuckled "Did you like the show?" He said motioning toward the stage, you nodded your head yes "Yeah!! you guys rocked it as usual" You said, you felt awkward because you had so many things you wanted to say but you didnt want to overwhelm him or feel like you were over stepping, He made a slight whistle shaking his head yes then looking down at his foot which was resting on its heel motioning side to side, "Was that song really about me?" You blurted out with out even thinking, or realizing what you were doing, Luke froze and then looked up with wide eyes, his lips still pursed from whistling and then he relaxed his position putting his foot down and removing his hands from his pockets "Okay, we're just gonna jump right into it..... yeah! it was" he said with a slightly frustrated tone, you bit your lip not really understanding "Wh- why?" you asked truly wondering why he wrote it, you guys both agreed to be friends and you guys never dated so what was there to move on from, he looked at you scrunching his eyebrows together "Why?" He said back confused to why you were confused, you don't know why but you were getting angry "Yeah!" You said throwing your hands in the air "Why Luke! Why everything! Why have you been avoiding me! why have you been so absent!!!" You exclaimed, starting to tear up "So what we almost slept together! BIG DEAL! THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO CUT ME OFF! THAT DOESNT ME YOU

HAVE TO

TURN AWAY FROM ME!" You didnt realize it but you were yelling, tears were streaming down your face, you wiped your tears with the sleeve of your jacket "I missed you so much..... so much Luke..... so yeah why?" you said softer with a crack in your voice, Luke bit his lip in frustration "You wanna know why?!" he exclaimed moving one step closer to you "Because you mean more to me than I could ever imagine someone meaning to me, youre the most amazing person I have ever met!" He exclaimed, now him growing tears in his eyes "AND WHEN YOU KEPT SAYING WE'RE JUST FRIENDS IT EFFING BROKE ME INSIDE BECAUSE IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT IT HURTS! OKAY! THAT THE FACT YOU DONT WANT ANYTHING MORE THAN JUST FRIEND SHIP KILLS ME INSIDE! SO YEAH I AVOIDED SEEING YOU BECAUSE EVERYTIME I SAW YOU THE PAIN WAS UNBEARABLE BECAUSE ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS GRAB YOU AND HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS AND CALL YOU MINE!" He yelled, grabbing his hair in frustration "There ya go! thats why!" he exclaimed finishing his statement, You stood there gathering the ends of your jacket sleeve in your fists, looking at Luke with red puffy eyes, and before you could respond Luke picked up his guitar, wiped his eyes and poofed out.

[shadedrose01]

Sick Boy

Ship: Parkner (Harley Keener/Peter Parker)

Summary: Jax gets the stomach flu. Peter and Harley take care of him.

Tags: Febufluff, Day 9, sick days, Sickness, stomach flu, Vomiting, Jax is back!!, Jax is Peter and Harleys son, parenting, Peter Parker and Harley Keener are good dads, Established Relationship, Husbands, Love, Family, Family Fluff

Day nine of Febufluff: "Sick Day"!

WARNING: This story contains sickness, and talking about vomiting. There is a scene where Jax throws up. It isn't super graphic, but it's there, so if you dont like vomiting, don't read! Be safe, be comfortable, know your limits. Love y'all <3

--

Peter sat in a meeting when he got the call. He was tapping his pen against his paper absentmindedly, barely listening to the businessman drone on endlessly about stocks and numbers and whatever else he was saying, before his phone began to vibrate in his pocket, hard enough to be felt but not loud enough to disrupt the meeting, thankfully.

It immediately sets Peter on alert though, because his phone was put on to Do Not Disturb, and only three things can push a call through when that's on: Harleys phone, Karen in case of severe emergency... and Jax's phone. None of those options sounded very good, so Peter pulls out the device quickly, making sure to keep it under the desk, still trying to keep his disturbance to a minimum.

Jax's school. Shit. Not the worst thing possible, but still not a good sign. Peter's mind swirls with what could've happened as he motions to one of his coworkers that he's stepping out, picking up the call as soon as he's out the door. Did he get hurt? It wouldn't surprise Peter, Jax could be clumsy. Or he could've gotten into a fight, but that doesnt seem like his Jaxy. Maybe he's being bullied, maybe-

"Hi, is this Peter Parker-Keener?" The callers tone is sickly sweet, and it's already grating on Peter's frayed nerves.

"Yes, it is. Is Jax okay?" He blurts out before he can stop himself, knowing that hes sounding like the stereotypical helicopter parent, constantly worried, but he doesn't care.

The women laughs lightly under her breath, barely noticable to the normal ear but very noticable to Peter, who grits his teeth to stop himself from snapping at the poor woman. She sobers up pretty quickly as she responds, voice softening, "Jax appears to have the stomach flu. Would you be able to come pick him up, Mr. Parker-Keener?"

Peter's stomach drops at the news, his heart aching. Oh, his poor baby. He looks back towards the room he just left, and knows the meeting is important, knows he shouldn't leave unless it's an emergency, but- but family comes first. Always. He nods unconsciously, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, yeah of course, I'll be there as soon as possible."

He hangs up the phone and sighs loudly, rubbing at his forehead as a headache starts to form, a pressure building behind his eyes. He types out a quick message to his coworker and to Harley, updating them both on the situation before making his way to his car.

As soon as he shuts the car door, and the car starts up, a call is already lighting up his screen. He automatically puts it through, pulling out of the garage and speeding towards the school.

"Is he okay?" His husband's voice is coated with concern, not even bother with a hello as he gets straight to the point, showing Peter just how worried he truly is. Peter wants to laugh at their overprotectiveness (it's their first and only child, give them a break), but now is definitely not the time.

"I'm not sure, I'm on my way to pick him up now." Peter answers honestly, looking over his shoulder before changing lanes, counting down the minutes until he gets there.

"Do you want me to come too?" He can hear shuffling on the other side, as if Harley was already packing his things.

Peter sighs, fianlly seeing the brick school in the distance. "No, I'm here now. Maybe meet us back home?" He adds on the last part, knowing Harley won't be able to go back to work now.

"Yeah," Harleys voice is still worried, but theres a tinge of relief there now, knowing he's going to be able to help. "Yeah, okay. I'll see you there. Love you."

Peter echoes it back just as he parks, the call ending just as he shuts the car off, exiting it just as quickly as he entered.

He rushes to the main desk, seeing the secretary who Peter guesses is the same person that called him earlier. "Hi, I'm here for Jax Parker-Keener?"

The woman looks up, and smiles a plastic smile that doesnt reach her eyes. "Of course, I just need you to sign him out real quick," Peter fills out the form quickly, antsy to get to his boy, and hands it back to her, "and the nurses office is just down the hallway, first door to the left."

"Thank you," he pushes out before speed walking to the specified door, opening it quickly. His nose scrunches up as the acidic smell of vomit floods his sense, and he swallows the urge to gag, his heart breaking when his eyes land on the little lump curled up on the couch.

Jax has his arms wrapped around his stomach, and his face is all crunched up, eyes closed and beads of sweat on his brow. Hes groaning quietly, squirming slightly, and there's a bucket placed right next to his face that looks likes it already been used. He looks smaller than he has in months, than he has in years.

"Oh baby," Jax blinks his eyes open as soon as the words are out of his mouth, the forest green hazy, barely focusing as he squints at Peter.

"Daddy?"

As soon as Peter hears that croak of a voice, hes on the move, kneeling down in front of his baby and brushing the hair off of his forehead. "Yeah, it's me, bug."

"I don't feel good." He moans, starting to squirm again, and Peter's heart is shattered, stomped into dust, longing to take away all of his son's pain.

"I know, sweetheart, I know. We're gonna go home now, okay?"

The five year old blinks up at him again, eyes widening with the purest, innocent hope and partial excitement, even though the haze of sickness. "Really?"

Peter gives him a small, sad smile, running a hand through his hair again. "Yeah, baby, we're going home. Come on," He presses a light kiss to his sticky forehead, before pulling him up and into his arms, Jax's body instinctually clinging to his front like a koala, just like he used to when he was a baby, when he was a toddler. Peter holds him up easily, his tiny body nothing to his super strength, and nods once to the nurse who was watching the scene with warm, kind eyes. "Thank you." He mumbles to him quietly, before walking out towards his car, pressing Jax to his chest tightly, protectively.

The ride to their apartment is quiet, quieter than it should be. Jax seems to take after him in the talking sense, he'll talk on and on and on about anything and everything, so to hear him so silent, so quiet...

Just as they pull into the garage, Jax finally speaks up, but what he says makes what's left of Peter's heart stop. "Daddy, I really don't feel good."

"You think you're gonna throw up, buddy?" Peter parks the car in a random spot as he speaks, already scavenging for the plastic bag he knows is by his passengers seat somewhere. The only responce he gets is a wet burp, and Peter scrambles even more, grabbing the plastic bag as soon as it touches his fingers and putting it under Jax's head just in time.

The five year old is gagging, sputtering and sobbing into the plastic bag, looking so pitifully sad, and Peter makes a noise of sympathy, wishing he could do more to help, to make it all go away. But realistically, all he can do is rub the boy's back, and whisper soothing things. "Its okay, bud, let it all out, it's alright."

Once the episode has passed and Jax leans back from the bag, Peter grabs the sleeve of his dress shirt and wipes off his face gently, both of tears and of vomit, knowing that he's staining the shirt but not really caring in the moment. He then ties the bag up, and gets out of the car, unclipping Jax and picking him up again, swaying him gently as he continues to whine and sniffle, shushing him softly.

When they make it up to the apartment, Harley is already there, waiting for them, looking anxious. As soon as his sky blue eyes find Jax, attached to Peter's hip, his entire face softens with sympathy and tenderness. "Hey bubba."

"Papa!" Jax whimpers, bottom lip stuck out and wobbling, face red and tear stained. He holds out a hand, and Harley moves instantly, taking him from Peter's grip and hugging him tightly, bouncing him slowly.

"Shh, I got ya, tesoro." He murmurs quietly, shifting his hold before looking up at Peter with a small smile, already tired eyes. "Hey. I picked up some medicine on the way over here." He nods his head back towards the kitchen, before leaning it against Jax's, holding him a little closer.

"You're a lifesaver." Peter responds, pecking him quickly on the lips before walking to the kitchen to get the medicine ready.

"You're only figuring that out now?" Peter just rolls his eyes at his husband's cheekiness, laughing lightly.

He pours out the medicine, and Jax takes it with very little fuss (read: a few more whines and a few split tears), before they all cuddle together on to the couch, turning on on a movie. Not even ten minutes in, Jax let's out a big yawn, snuggling in closer to Harleys hip, his eyes half lidded, and another ten minutes later, he's out like a light. Peter isn't surprised, it's been a long day for the poor boy. He looks up, and sees Harley staring down at him too, a warm glow to his eyes, a smile tilting his lips. Peter just presses a kiss to his husband's forehead, and shuffles closer, placing his head onto his shoulder.

This day may not have got according to plan, but with his husband and his son at his side, he wouldn't want it any other way.

[scattered-imagination]

:O!! I would love to hear a more detailed plot bunny about Hizashi sharing about the Bug Incident!! Shouta being protective of Hizashi (who has such a heavy "loud, goofy and happy" air to him that my brain says: this is a person that's probably got issues that they don't speak of easily) is such good stuff. And that deeply caring side of Shouta showing up is always fantastic~

;-) anything for a dedicated Listener! <3

Age-Swap BNHA AU (Erasermic)

It took an hour and a half for Hizashi to tell Shouta everything, between the memories and the mental breaks shouts made him take when it looked like the blonde would collapse. From the 10 foster homes he had gone through, to the Bug incident at his third home. He had to resist the urge to throw up at the memory. The drunken laughter filling his head...the feeling of rough hands locking his head in place, a man's fingers prying his jaw open and shoving bug after bug into his mouth. He flinched at the memory, remembering how he cried and threw up right there on the dirty kitchen floor... his sobs the only thing sounding in the now silent kitchen.

"Zashi!"

His eyes snapped opened, the kitchen disappearing and his best friend filling his vision instead. He felt tears build up in his throat, choking down a sob.

"Sorry sorry... I'm done ... see..." he tried to sound happy "silly fear...happened like...8 years ago...I just..."

"Shut up" and then he was engulfed in the arms of the other. "Dont say sorry... dammit Zashi..." Shouta choked, full of rage, helplessness, and...something the blonde couldnt pinpoint.

Hizashi just nodded, tears falling down his cheeks as he snuggled deeper into the others embrace. Shouta cuddles were hard to come by...and he was going to take advantage of this event.

While the other tried to sob in silence, Shouta held the other tight, eyes burning fiercely as he glared at the wall. What the fuck? What kind of adult would do that to a child? What kind of person would do that to Hizashi? His friend who was loud, friendly, smiling, always trying to help others, and always ready to do his best. He felt his teeth creak as he grit them...he mindlessly wondered if they might break under any more pressure.

He buried his nose into Zashi's hair, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of coconut shampoo the blonde always used. He had to stay calm, he could beat the shit out of a training dummy later. His friend needed him.

At the back of his mind, he reminded himself to tell his dad and pops about this later. That way they could fumigate the dorms, kill every bug in sight, and maybe avoid certain training simulations... Shoutas eyes clenched shut harder. No wonder the blonde hated forest training... such a high potential for bugs crawling around.

"Shou...I love cuddles but you're squishing me!" The other chuckled, sounding more like himself now, a wide grin now on his lips but wetness still clouded his eyes.

Shouta grunted in acknowledgement and loosened his grip, though not completely letting the other go. Hizashi chuckled.

"...I'm sorry for sobbing on you" the blonde said softly, sobering the mood once more

"Its fine..." he debated furthering his thoughts "Why didnt you tell me this sooner?" He said bluntly

Hizashi just gave a one shoulder shrug

"...I dunno... guess I'm just used to dealing with that stuff on my own. I'm mr. Happy go lucky you know!" He laughed, pushing his fingers into his face to make himself smile "I'm not supposed to have stupid little fears like bugs..."

If shouta could punch that foster father now...he would be sure to throw him into a building

"Idiot" he scoffed softly "a phobia isnt a stupid fear. It's something you cant control"

"But a pro hero afraid of bugs? That's so-"

"Normal" shouta cut him off before the blonde could get anymore self deprecating "everyone has a fear that they cant explain and that is normal"

They sat in silence for a while, until Hizashi gave a nod - though he still wasnt fully convinced. Shouta slowly let go of his friend, holding him by the shoulders so they stared into each others eyes.

"No more secrets okay?" The brunette huffed

"Shou-"

"I mean it Hizashi," he cut in "I can't help you" or protect you "if you dont tell me these kind of things!"

Hizashi bit his lip before nodding. "You didnt laugh at me..."

"Why would I? Wait - Who laughed at you??" He asked, hair starting to rise in preparation for an ass kicking

"Shouta no!" Hizashi said seriously, though it was filled with amusement "I'm fine I promise... I'm great now actually... thank you for listening..."

Hizashi swallowed

"You're my best friend you know that?" He murmured softly

Shouta swallowed down the words, what about more? He gave a chuff and turned away, though the smile on his face was very obvious. Hizashi laughed at his friends actions and bumped the others shoulder.

"We should probably get to training hm?" Hizashi sighed, running a hand through his hair, now noticing how dirty his training clothes were.

Shouta stiffened at the thought of bringing Hizashi back to the forest.

"I'm too tired..." he groaned, laying his head down on Hizashis lap, pinning the blonde.

"Shou! Your dad is gonna kill us!" He laughed, though some genuine worry shone in his bright green eyes.

Shouta rolled his eyes, closing them before they got lost in the others.

"Dont care, I'm tired...you're tired... the logical choice is to take a nap"

"Naps aren't the solution to everything"

"Says who? Mochi likes them"

"Using your cat for an argument? That's low shou"

"Its logical. Plus if we nap now we can do something after school..."

"...you want to do something after school? Willingly?"

"Shove it blondie."

"Theres my grumpy friend!!"

"what was that thing you were talking about in homeroom?"

"Glad to know you were listening to me" he cackled, looking up at the ceiling in thought as his hand absentmindedly ran through shoutas hair "I was talking about a lot of things this morning! The arcade is open today, and Oh! The record shop just got in some new CDs I wanted to listen to. And you wanted to go to that cat cafe right? We could do that before and-"

Hizashi filled the room with idle chatter, the sound comforting to the both of them. Shouta hummed at appropriate times and responded when Hizashi actually asked a question.

Tomorrow he would go to every person that ever interacted with Hizashi, and threaten them away from bug filled pranks or teasing, least Shouta throw them across campus with his capture weapon. His friend loved a good prank... but there was a line. Shouta wouldnt let that line be crossed. Hizashi already had to deal with enough... and he did so much for everyone around him.

He cracked an eye open to look at the blonde, smirking as he saw Hizashi continue to ramble, his free hand gesticulating in excitement. This was how he was supposed to be... happy and carefree.

And like hell would he let anyone or anything hurt his friend.

[jksofficialwifey]

Not so badass boyfriend jk and the cockroach fiasco drabble ♡

wc: 1,700smthin (i added some sht rn so the wc got messed up)

warnings: cockroach death, mentions of the word cock & pussy, sexual themes, this is somewhat a crack drabble

this was inspired ofc by my favorite beings in the world: roaches. jk. i h8 them so much & theres so many in our house and i just wan di3 but i decided to write this shtsterpiece instead. anyway here it goes enjoy or wutevs! jk.

You were cuddling with your boyfriend Jungkook on the sofa in his dorm, while watching a movie with all of your friends, (all of the other bts members + you're all uni students btw) when an unwanted visitor decides to fly and land on top of jk's TV.

It was your most hated winged creature to ever exist on this entire fracking planet, and it doesn't help the fact that your mortal enemy could withstand a nuclear explosion. Although they aren't that invincible, and could easily be killed by being squashed, hit with a slipper, or by being sprayed with an insect spray. You still hate that a few of them can survive high levels of radioactivity. Anyway, going back to the bothersome cockroach that's stressing you a lot, maybe more than your weabooass-mayhaps-secretly-or-not-so-secretly-a-furry-gamer boyfriend, the horrid thing just flew again, now towards your direction. Making you flinch and scream a little, also making your boyfriend surprised by your sudden movement and screaming. "Baby are you okay?" he asked in a worried tone. "Guk...there's a jungcockroach. Kill it please, you know I hate it so much." you told him in a pleading voice.

"Where? and did you really have to call it jungcockroach?" he asked, and you looked around trying to find where the fck it is now, "Idk, it flew in our direction and oh- there it is! just right next to you on the wall! omg kill it! get it away from me!" you screamed, startling jungkook. Which also made him scream in his high pitched voice, because he was shocked. Your friends also wondered why you were screaming and shouting, and when they finally saw the reason why, they were alarmed too. Hoseok screamed and said, "OMG I'm going out of this room until you kill it. ohmygod I hate bugs!" Jin also screamed loud and decided to follow him out of the room. Joon, yoongi, jimin, and tae didn't seem too bothered. They just looked concerned for you.

The cockroach flew again, but it went to the floor, and crawled somewhere in the room. You weren't that scared of it now, that it wasn't flying anymore. But it still wasn't dead, and you were still a little afraid if it reappears, and flies again. Though, you could blame your boyfriend's scaredy ass for not killing it and just screaming at it. Like you did.

"Guk, why didn't you kill it? you just screamed like those undercover agent guys from that white chicks movie." you asked him, mocking the way he sounded a bit, cos he screamed like a girl. "In my defense, I was shookt because you screamed, which made me scream too." he said rather defensively. "Really? or is it because you're afraid of cockroaches like me too? oh my god. and I merely agreed to date you, because I thought someone would finally protect me and kill these pests for me. You were such a badass when i met you though, it turns out you're just as scared of them as I am. How saddening," you asked him, and joked about only dating him because you thought he'd kill these annoying pests for you. But he didn't quite get it and took it a bit seriously to which he replied,

"I just don't like them or bugs in general okay? It doesn't mean I'm scared of them. And what do you mean you merely agreed to date me because you thought I'd kill em for you? I clearly remember you saying, you'll date me because my big cock's a keeper." he said smugly, to which your friends faces wrinkled in disgust. "Um, guys we're still here, pls don't forget." Jimin had said.

"Sorry guys. But sure, whatever you say baby guk, don't worry I won't break up with you. Even though you're scared of bugs," you teased jungkook. "I really am not scared of damn cockroaches though, that pest should show up now. And I'll prove to you that I'm not scared of them." He said too proudly, and not long after, it did show up flying towards his shirt. He tried to fight it, but he shook it off his body instead. Staring at it wide-eyed after doing so til it fell to the ground, and jimin stomped it with his foot, and all his might, ending the nasty thing's pathetic life. "Well, you really proved you're not scared of them gukie. Thanks to jimin though," you said sarcastically. "Jimin ssi, you should become my new boyfriend. I'm breaking up with gukie, cos I need a brave man with real balls to protect me." you told jimin coming up to him, but you really just wanted to get jungkook worked up. Jungkook just glared at you looking annoyed. You actually succeeded in getting under his nerves.

While you were busy teasing jungkook, you didn't notice another cockroach appearing. But this time jungkook had an evil plan, "Um hyungs, why don't y'all go out for a bit. I'm just gonna talk to y/n about our relationship, or whatever that's left of it." he said, feigning to look angry, being like the great actor he is. Sensing that you and jk might have a couple fight, the hyungs obeyed and went out of the room, leaving the two of you alone.

"Y/N, how unfortunate, it's just the two of us left, jimin can't protect you now." Jungkook said with an evil smirk. "What do you mean guk? he killed the cockroach already, I won't have to worry about one for awhile." you replied. Jk found it amusing you didn't even see another cockroach crawling towards you.

"Oh. But what if there's another one? idk baby, but I think that nasty thing crawling towards you looks like a fracking cockroach to me." He said triumphantly, and when you looked down, it was indeed another annoying roach. You moved away from it, but it looked like it was crawling towards the wall instead. "JK kill it please, I can't deal with another one again ughhh. Why won't they stop attacking me?" you were so annoyed and distressed, you just wanted to disappear forevs. "What's that baby? you want me to kill it? oh i dunno if I can though cos I'm so scared of bugs, maybe you could do it yourself since you're so brave. Or you could call jimin, but I think they went home already. Anyway, maybe I'm gonna go out for a bit. Goodluck with your friend..." his cocky ass said, heading for the door.

But he isn't really gonna leave you alone with that nasty pest right? you won't let him. "Ughhh baby I take it all back. You're not a coward, you're the strongest and bravest person in the world! so get rid of the nasty creature now pleaseee." you said loud enough so he can hear and reconsider leaving you to die by the hands of a dirty cockroach, "Really? just awhile ago, you were saying you were gonna leave me for jimin though. But since I'm a merciful being, I'll help you and do it, if you beg again nicely and do something for me in exchange." he wants you to beg again and do something for him, of course. "Fine. My brave and ever so handsome boyfriend, can you pretty please kill that cockroach for me? I was just kidding when I said I'll leave you for jimin sir, I would never choose another person who'll never have the same big dick energy as you. I'll certainly do anything you ask me to do in exchange."

"Well since you asked nicely, I'll get rid of it now for you, baby." he then approached the oblivious insect which was now at the wall, it didn't fly yet but before it could do so, jk had hit it with a book making the roach fall to the floor. He then proceeded to stomp on it, to make sure it wouldn't live anymore. "Done, that was gross. Oof. I didn't realize I used Jin hyung's book that I borrowed to kill it. Maybe I'll just tell him to wipe the cockroach's juices off of it." he said uncaringly.

"Ew. Shouldn't you wipe it yourself before you give it back, like a good person? Anyway, thanks for doing it for me baby, I knew you were still a bit scared but you still did it anyway. And I really was just joking when I said I only agreed to date you, so you could protect me. Ok, maybe that wasn't entirely false, but i love you, you brave bun perfect or not. And I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world." You were being soft, but he just had to remind you of the thing he asked for, in exchange of getting rid of the pest.

"I love you too baby, and I really wasn't scared anymore, because It was fun seeing you scared and wanting me to be your hero. I'm still not gonna wipe that roach's juices off jin hyung's book though, cos I don't feel like being a good person today. And about that thing I want you to do...I just want you to wash my dishes for a month, and don't bother me when I'm playing my video games. It's not too much isn't it?" he said smirking.

"Of course it isn't baby, though I guess you won't be getting a blowie or any type of action for a month then. We're not frickfracking for a month, how tragic. But my glowing fidget spinner anal plug and me will still enjoy, idk about your hand though," you retorted. "What? baby nooo. I changed my mind, you can annoy me anytime even when I'm playing, just don't take away my smashing privileges. I wouldn't last a day, without your pussy in my cock." he exclaimed.

"That's what I thought so. I'm gonna shower now my brave cockslayer, cos all that roach fiasco got me feeling nasty. you're more than welcome to join me if you like." you said, as you went to the bathroom to shower. "I'm coming, I wouldn't pass up a great opportunity to use my privileges, as always."

♡

A/N: sorry for the grammatical errors/typos as always. yk i can't write for sht but I still do bec it's fun to share my crack ideas w/fellow crackheads shsh. I tried to edit this but u cant rlly notice it cos i suck at writing 😂 anyway it's just a drabble bec i h8 flying cockroaches sm!

[vintagemiserie]

hehe heres some fun jazz au tonite :^] tell me if theres anything in here i need 2 fix or if anythings uncharacteristically stupid for my writing ok? ok (also tw, the f slur is used, i wish there was an alternative to it that i was more comfy w but its the parallel to dyke so i have to make do)

Joe settled his head on Patrick's shoulder, humming along to the Beach Boys song that played on the radio. The bed was covered with photos, and they were trying their best to organize the best ones. Hell, the walls were now bare, since Patrick wanted to get the very best pictures he'd ever taken. “Look at this one, Joe, your eyes are so blue in it,” He said, holding it up. The smile he had made Joe's heart melt; seeing his boyfriend so genuinely happy was far too rare for his liking.

“Why are we doing this, again?” Joe asked, scooting closer so he could at least consider kissing Patrick's neck.

“For the—uh, right, for me to submit to the, uh, the art gallery.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“You suggested me to do it.”

“Yeah, I guess I did, huh? I like your pictures, I could never take half as good ones as you can.”

Patrick rolled his eyes, setting a picture in one of his piles. “That's not true, you've just never tried. I bet if you started with photography, you'd be a million times better than me, 'cause you're better than me at everything.”

“That's a lie.”

“No it's not. I can't even function by myself.” Patrick huffed and grabbed another photo, one of the touring band getting on a bus. “Normal people don't have their friend also be their g—their fucking… stupid as hell guardian, how did I—” He set down the photo and hung his head. “Do you think Andy thinks of me as capable of doing anything by myself? You think that's why my life's like this?”

“I dunno,” Joe said, feeling nearly uncomfortable. He tried his best to stay out of Patrick's relationship with Andy, if only because he didn't really know much of what it actually was. From what he understood, some legal stuff happened, and Patrick seemed to swing back and forth between hating it and desperately needing Andy to function. Joe picked up a photo, a pink and orange sunset with some leaves in the foreground. “Hey, this one's a really nice picture, did you climb into your apple tree for this?”

Patrick took the photo from Joe's hand with what felt like more force than the singer intended on, and he stared at it for a few moments before putting it into the "yes" pile. "I'm just so confused, all the time… fuck, sorry, we talked about… how you… didn't want me to… y'know."

"I don't really mind if you vent, Patrick, it was just getting to be too much."

"Yeah, I know. There's just nothing happy in my life to talk to you about. Even when I'm happy with you it stresses me out, 'cause I start thinking about how quickly everything could end, and how—addiction, and stuff, and I hate being such a downer, but I barely have any happy memories left, and even the happy ones make me feel like shit, 'cause they're all from when I was, like, eight, and Pete always tells me about how I used to be happy before I met him, and stuff, but I don't even know what I was like before everything happened, and—shit, Joe, I'm sorry, I can't control myself, my brain makes me say things and I'm just stuck without being able to do anything about it, and.." Patrick hid his face in his hands, and his shoulders began to shake. Joe knew he really needed to say something at that moment, but nothing he thought of was comforting.

In fact, his thoughts were really rather bitter, and shockingly so. Joe watched as Patrick sobbed, and he was unable to move. Nothing he'd usually say sounded alright to him, nothing sounded like something that would make Patrick shut up already and get back to what Joe wanted to do, because he just fucking wanted Patrick to stop talking and get on with it.

Joe slid off the bed and stood up. "Do you need… do you need space, for a second, Patrick? Because I don't think I can say anything that would make things better, and I think we both need to catch our breaths so we can just hang out with each other, and not, like, worry."

Patrick didn't reply, so Joe stepped out of the room, closed the door, and took a deep breath. He needed to think clearly, and get the negativity bug out of his head. His boyfriend had a habit of making things horrible, and Joe just needed to think and maybe brew himself a cup of coffee. He sighed and headed off to Patrick's kitchen and got to work with the coffee maker, since Patrick bought the coffee pre-ground.

Joe was deep in his thoughts over what to do to make things better when the room was lit up with a flash. He looked outside to see if it had grown stormy while they were in Patrick's room, but the sky was clear. "Sorry for freaking out," Patrick said, and when Joe turned around he saw that Patrick was standing in the doorway, holding one of his cameras. "I think you did the right thing, leaving me alone. It makes me have to be responsible. I wish I was better at making it clear how in love with you I am."

Joe nodded, a horrible feeling running down his spine. "Yeah, I—Patrick, I got kinda mad with you, actually. I wasn't thinking straight and I left 'cause I didn't want to say anything stupid."

Patrick somehow managed to crack a smile, something Joe wasn't at all expecting. "What, you weren't thinking straight, fag?" He said, starting to giggle. Joe raised his eyebrows, unsure of what exactly to say. Somehow, he started laughing, too.

"You know, Patrick," Joe said, pouring his cup of coffee as he laughed, "I think you were right about yourself being stupid."

Patrick practically doubled over, and failed to say something with how hard he was laughing. Joe took a sip, then set the mug on the counter, stepped to Patrick, and pressed a kiss to his lips once they each got their laughter under control.

"I love you," Joe said. "We should, uh, let's get back to figuring out your best pictures. Isn't the deadline for submitting stuff for the art gallery pretty soon?"

"It's in, like, a week. I dunno, I kinda just want to kiss you right now."

Joe smiled. "Then kiss me."

"Then maybe I will," Patrick glowered.

"You're not, though."

Patrick reached to the back of Joe's head and pulled him into a kiss, and Joe settled a hand on Patrick's hip, the other ending up holding the singer's arm. Then Patrick's head tilted a bit, and his lips parted almost imperceptibly, and Joe couldn't help but deepen the kiss.

His mind whirled, and as Patrick's hand tightened in his hair, his mind dropped all of the turmoil that they just went through. Nothing in his head could make him feel negative, not with Patrick's soft lips against his own.

Joe felt nearly breathless when Patrick pulled away, and watched how Patrick's pretty eyes wandered as they admired Joe's face, a smile growing on the singer's face. "Let's get back to sorting the photos," Patrick said, his eyes finally locking onto Joe's. He sounded unconvincing.

"I'd rather do anything but that."

Patrick's laugh was breathy, barely a chuckle but more than enough. He patted Joe's shoulder, then turned, not waiting for him as he headed for his bedroom.

[tumblunni]

Man i feel like i can actually FEEL the teeth in my lower jaw starting to move back into proper alignment to fill the gaps where the wisdom teeth got taken out. Its so weird its like sideways ache? Like theyre being pushed out? Just makes me realize wow how tight and awful they were before. Makes sense that this whole thing caused my front teeth to shatter even though its a back teeth problem. They just got pushed so tight they overlapped like bologna and then snapped in half and got all gross plaque infection in the cracks. Now they got rid of the asshole wisdom teeth and they also did reconstructive surgery on those bologna teeth so now they look EVEN BETTER THAN THEY DID IN THE FIRST PLACE!! Srsly lol they had no frame of reference for what they really looked like so the replacement caps ended up being perfectly sized and straight instead of the big wonky ones they used to be. I actually like my smile for the first time in years!! But man its so worrying to think all these teeth were pushed halfway out of their sockets from all the pressure of the wisdom teeth, and now it looks like i have big gaps where the wisdom teeth used to be but theyve already started closing in just two days since the surgery. Wiggly wiggly sideways back into where youre supposed to be! Teeth are so weird i never knew anything about how teeth works!!!

Also the weirdest side effect of anesthetic is it apparantly gives you problems peeing for 24 hours. Even after all the head fuzzyness was gone and i didnt feel tired or anything, it was like i constantly had to pee but nothing was happening. Had to sit there for ten minutes at a weird angle to get gravitational support lol. I guess that means the muscles in your urinary tract continue being paralyzed longer than the rest of you that got knocked out? I also wasnt able to crap until just now, who would have friggin expected that tooth drugs could mess up your ass? XD Wonder if theres any other parts of your body that the anesthetic wears off more slowly but you dont notice cos its less vital? Like did my ability to smell asparagus go away? Did my spleen temporarily take a nap? Was i unable to wiggle my ears but id just never know cos i couldnt do that anyway? ITS SO WEIRD

Oh also for some reaosn it took quite a while for the tooth pain to kick in at all, and the worst pain has been in my throat. Apparantly they had to hook me up to breathing apparatus during the surgery and the tubes in your throat often leave it feeling scratched afterwards. It just bugged me so much more than the teeth cos it made it hard to drink anything to rehydrate like they wanted me to. And heath hospital does THE BEST MOST FAMOUS HOSPITAL TOAST and it was soooo hard to swallow it with my throat but i had to cos it was amaaaazing~! All the nurses were so nice so i couldnt say no even when the salty crustyness of delicious was destroying my windpipe. It would have been a noble death!

Also odd is that i have a bit of an ache lower down my neck, like a muscle lower near my diaphram and also one under my chin kinda? Thats the same one that was hurting when the wisdom tooth was in there so it makes sense, but the lower neck muscle is weird. I guess maybe i just stretched it bad at a weird angle while i was unconcious and didnt notice til the anesthetic totally wore off

Anesthetic is so weird!!!

Also like i dont remember ANYTHING about it? It somehow gave me amnesia of stuff before the injection? Is that normal? Ijust renember sittibg on the bed and them saying "hey were gonna wheel you over to surgery now" and then i was waking up in my recovery room three hours later. Dont remember the bed wheelies or getting the injection or the count backwards from ten or anything! I guess thats good cos i was so worried i was gonna say or do something embarassing while i was groggy and now i guess i'll never know. But i feel like the doctors wouodnt have been so nice to me if i had said something stupid, right? And then after i woke up i didnt have any of that comical goofyness either i just felt totally sane but sleepy and dizzy whenever i tried to stand up. And a bit of amplified anxiety but not as bad as i was expecting, i just panicked a bit to the doctor and needed to know a bunch of questions about the surgery to know 100% for sure that it all went right. I was worried that i'd ptsd flashbacks of my childhood or something and embarass myself.

It all ended up going a lot better than expected and i didnt die and i didnt embarassment and all the doctors were SO NICE and just basically i was so scared of my first time going to hospital and it went so well that now im way less scared if i ever need to have surgery again someday! And i can face it with a fabulous looking smile!!

[never-not-ever]

2017/1 year anniversary with my girlfriend

How We Met

So I actually met my girlfriend on OkCupid when I was down here at my Aunts house last January. I love visiting my Aunt and we do hang out and go places but there’s also a lot of down time. So last year when I was down here I was bored and made an online dating account. At first it was just guys but I got pretty bored of that and started thinking how a lot of the guys weren’t my type and then I was questioning what my type even was and what gender too! So I decided to switch my “looking for” to women and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I started talking to Andrea and I remember it all so clear and it’s so crazy to be back in this bedroom where it all began. Laying on this very bed where I stayed up late talking to this amazing woman. It sounds cliche and I don’t know how but I stumbled across Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko and that was literally my anthem for that month. I mean come on the song was perfect for me. It was like my own little cheerleader in the background telling me that what I was doing was okay except I didn’t need anyone to tell me it was okay because I knew in my heart that it was perfectly okay and perfectly normal. We started talking on January 13th. I left WV and took the Amtrak train home to Boston on January 16th and that day I heard her voice for the first time. I remember it like it was yesterday! I was on the train and getting closer and closer to Boston. We were so giddy and nervous to talk on the phone but looking back it was the cutest thing. That night we talked on the phone for 2 hours. I met her the next day on January 17th and almost a week later we made it official. January 23rd, 2017.

2017

January

So the rest of the month is a blur. Lots of dates and hanging out. Meeting her family etc. Her meeting my gm. This month should have been filled with pure joy but there was also heartache. This also happened to be the month I had a fall out with my two ex-best friends. Not going to go into specifics, just that it was very painful and very toxic. 

February

Our first Valentine’s Day! I bought her flowers and she stuck post it notes around her room with little reasons why she loved me or little fun facts about us. I think it was after Valentine’s Day where I started working more and more in the Florist. I’ve been at my job for almost 8 years now and I’d always help out in the florist around the holidays but this year I moved to that department permanently. February is also the month her parents go away so I basically stayed at her house all the time! They have a 16 year old dog and Andrea works a lot and couldn't take her out all the time so her sister moved home for the month and since I was always there I grew closer to her sister during this month. 

March 

Nothing too grand and exciting.

April

We went on our first vacation to Virginia Beach and it was so much fun. Our hotel room was amazing and right on the beach! The weather was perfect and we did so much. I’d love to go back again because it was just a great time filled with lots of memories! I started talking to one of my ex-friends around this time too.

May

Birthday month! My first birthday in years were I didn’t wish to be dead when I blew out the candles. Sounds dramatic but I’m not joking. We spent the day together and I saved a baby squirrel from a rest stop parking lot. Ruined my “Normal People Scare Me” hoodie by wrapping the little guy up in it who was covered in fleas and bugs. I also started talking to the other ex-friend again but it just wasn’t the same. I think by this month I was officially a florist clerk! Besides meeting Andrea, switching departments at my job made my year. I became so much more happier and cheerful at work. I also went to my first wedding (since I was a kid which I don’t even remember!). It was a waterfront wedding and amazing. I’ll always remember that night! I wore a dress for the first time since prom!

June

I went to London!! It wasn’t as long as I would have liked but it was amazing!! I could honestly see myself living there. I went with my cousin and my uncle who was on a business trip. It was the highlight of my Summer. Went to another wedding. It wasn’t as nice as the first one but it was still a great time! It was out in western Mass and we slept overnight at a nearby hotel. The next morning me and Andrea decided to take a drive down to NYC. It was spontaneous and I loved it even though we got there around suppertime and didn’t get to do much. It was still a good time!

July

Andrea’s family has a huge 4th of July BBQ and that was a pretty great day! I wore another dress lol! My old friends came and we all hung out and played games and then watched the fireworks on a dock in the water. It was so nice to have everyone together but that was the first and last time it ever happened. A strange and mysterious thing happened this month. A baby kitten was found in my front entrance. You see, to get in my house you have to go up a flight of stairs and open not only a storm door but a regular door as well. That brings you to a little square hallway where we keep the mail and theres two more doors-one leads to the second floor where I live with my gm and the other is for the first floor where my uncle lives. We keep the mail on a little set of shelves in that hallways and one morning my gm was taking my dog out and there was a kitten sitting on the bottom shelf! We named her Delilah and kept her and she’s been a part of the family ever since.

August

This month was a blur. Nothing big and exciting happened. Met my new psychiatrist and started preparing to say goodbye to my therapist whom I would be terminating with in the next month. 

September

Went on our second vacation together to D.C. My body image was crap and it kind of sorta ruined the trip cause I was always so self conscious being in public and stuff. In the end it was still nice just being able to get away and spend time alone. It was Andrea’s birthday and I made her a collage of our pictures that said “I like me best when I’m with you”. It was cute. When we got back from our trip I started up EMT classes again. I took the course in 2014 and passed all but one test (the state written) and I let too much time go by so I decided to retake the course. At the end of the month I had to say goodbye to my therapist. Someone I worked with since April of 2016 when I was inpatient. It was so hard to say goodbye because for over a year I saw this woman almost every single week and she helped me thru times when I thought I was going to end up back in the hospital. I also stopped going to my DBT group as well. Stopping with therapy wasn’t my choice, stopping with group was. This also was the month I stopped talking to my ex-best friend whom I was friends with for over 10 years. We didn’t have a big fight or anything we just drifted apart. “You didn’t text me” “But you didn’t text me” so typically but it was bound to happen. People change and there’s nothing wrong with that. I feel like for the most of 2017 I kept trying to prove that I didn’t change like it was some bad thing when in reality it’s okay to change, it’s part of life. 

October

And to follow along with that last month I also stopped talking to my other ex-friend. I have nothing against them. They were there for me when I was at rock bottom in 2016 and for that I will be forever grateful. In 2017 however things were very rocky. Things felt forced, like I was walking on eggshells afraid to do something wrong. A never-ending rollercoaster that finally came to a stop in the end of October. I’m not going to lie and say that my life has been great ever since. Because it hasn’t. I mean yes it’s been okay and I’ve been happy but I’ve also been so down because of all that’s happened with them, second guessing myself and wondering “what if”. But in the end we all moved on and that’s all that matters because in the end life moves on.

November

This Thanksgiving me, my uncle and my gm went over to Andrea’s and it was so much fun. After my people went home I stayed and played games with her brothers and sister and their significant others. We listened to Christmas music and just had a blast. Me and Andrea started Christmas shopping and listening to Christmas music and it was the start to a wonderful holiday. In the end of the month I took my class written exam and in some surprising turn of events I passed! Like I was so shocked because I didn’t study at all and went into that exam knowing that I could retake it and thinking that thats what was going to happen. But I didn’t have to because I passed!!

December

More Christmas shopping and snuggling under fuzzy blankets with my babe. All up until Christmas the only music I listened to was Christmas music! Ever since my Aunt passed away I always hated the holidays. It was so sad and depressing. But this year was different. I was looking forward to spending Christmas with Andrea and her family and starting new traditions. This month I had two practical exams. One for the class and one for the state and I passed them both!! I went to Andrea’s family’s Christmas party on the 23rd and it was so nice and festive. I slept over that night and on Christmas Eve we all woke up and celebrated Christmas morning a day early cause not everyone could be there for Christmas Day. We went over to a friends house for New Years Eve and ordered Chinese food and played Cards Against Humanity. I can’t remember the last time I kissed someone on New Years. But this time I got to ring in the New Year with my babe. 

[clonerightsagenda]

Posting Gill’s bday fic over here with permission. It’s Rosemary-related and TLC compliant (with a couple of minor spoilers) but should be understandable even with no knowledge of the AU.

This is what you have learned from dating Rose Lalonde. Expect any room to fill up with clutter in her presence. Your attempts to keep things tidy are as effective as holding back the tide. Expect everything to take on the feel of an epic, like you might be summoned onto a world-altering quest at a moment’s notice. It’s like a human fairy tale, but the old kind, not remakes that are all glitter and talking animals. The stories with teeth.

Don’t expect her to say that she loves you.

Don’t take it personally either. That’s what you remind yourself. Rose resists sincerity. When you presented her with the first flowers you’d grown in the new greenhouse (roses; you’d been delighted to learn she’d been named for a flower), she’d laughed uncertainly like you’d unlocked an event she didn’t have a script for. Over the next week, as the blooms withered, they moved around. First you spotted them on the windowsill, then on her bedside table, in this vase or that one, like she couldn’t figure out what place they had in her life.

On the Land of Rays and Frogs, you encountered a puzzle path made of colored lily pads. If you stepped on the wrong one, it would buckle and deposit you in a mini-boss chamber before you returned to the start, weary and wiser. Navigating this relationship feels much the same. Some of your missteps now are the inevitable outcome of two species still learning about each other, but not all of them. After reading Rose’s walkthrough, you’d daydreamed of meeting its author. Now you think you need a walkthrough for her too.

The day after your tumultuous first date, Rose dumped her concoctions down the drain, saying she could embarrass herself perfectly well without the aid of depressants. Not even a week later, she set the equipment up again.

“It might come in handy for medicinal purposes,” she said when you asked her why she’d changed her mind. “Besides, it wasn’t all bad.” She winked. “We got some mileage out of it.”

You blushed, and your rainbow drinker glow briefly flared before you wrestled it under control again. In the first few weeks you hadn’t known how the rules changed when you moved from unofficial to official. Where did you put your eyes, or your hands? What were you allowed to say? “It did make you more forward.”

She laughed, and from the sharpness on her breath you realized she’d already been sampling her experiments. “I can be so fucking uptight sometimes. Maybe we all need to lighten up. Lighten up. Get it?”

“I get it,” you said. But you didn’t.

So you sought clarification from Dave. After you quested through the meteor, lipstick at the ready in case of clown sightings, you found him topside staring back the way you’d come. At the beginning of your journey, you’d taken turns stationing yourselves there, afraid Jack would catch up and resume his rampage when you least expected it. When he didn’t make an appearance, you’d all let your guards down, reducing sentry duty to a quick backward glance now and then. Was he keeping watch for Lord English now?

“Are you watching for Jack?” you asked.

He jumped and tried to cover it with a miniscule adjustment to his cape. “Nah. Watching Skeletor blast everyone to bits.”

“You and Rose have been up here a lot recently.”

“We both came up after the first killing, you know? It was so loud.” He rubbed at his eyes underneath his shades. His skin is a few shades lighter than his sibling’s, and you could see shadows there. “It’s been hard to sleep since then. At least she’s found a way to conk out.”

“About her newfound use of soporifics.” You hesitated, staring up at the flashing lights that were already becoming familiar. It’s amazing how fast you accustom yourselves to the unthinkable. “Is that normal for humans?”

He frowned. (Later, he’d tell you he hadn’t been sure how to respond. “I didn’t want to fuck it up for you two,” he said. “I didn’t think it’d get that bad.”) “Hard to say what’s normal in our situation. Guess a lot of people would pull out a bottle after everything we’ve gone through. Better than sticking a forty-five in your mouth. She’s always been extreme about reacting to things. It’s hard to believe we’re the same damn species sometimes, let alone siblings.”

“I didn’t think an outing with me is so terrible you have to be out of your wits to enjoy it.” You didn’t mean to sound petulant, but his eyebrows rose.

“She doesn’t mean it like that.”

“I thought you didn’t understand her.”

“It would take an institutional thinktank to really figure her out, but I do a little.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. He does that when he’s being serious sometimes. “I think the whole thing freaked her out. Freaks her out, present tense, if you’re officially an item now. Congrats, by the way.”

“Thank you.”

Another spiderweb of cracks blossomed above your heads. You could see them reflected in Dave’s shades as he said, “I don’t think she trusts anyone being nice to her 100%, that’s all. Not even me.”

Rose has been clean for months now in human terms. You both have. The first few weeks of your victory were spent dealing with the effects of abandoning your substances of choice. You stumbled around feeling as if you’d been dipped in concrete, your movements and thoughts slow and ponderous. Rose went days without sleep and flinched away from things the rest of you couldn’t see. Roxy warned you of what to expect, since she’d gone through the process before. She’s also the one who told you to remind Rose to eat. “She’s not gonna want to,” she said. “You feel gross all over and the last thing you want to do is stick more shit in your body, but if you don’t eat you’ll just feel crummier.”

You’d noticed her drinking her meals before, but you’d never brought it up beyond meaningful glances or the pointed placement of foodstuffs in her respiteblock. Rose has always been good at dodging questions. “Do you have any suggestions for a strategic approach? She’ll try to deflect me with witticisms. Her barbs are floppy at the edges right now, but my defenses are equally compromised.”

“That’s a cute way of saying you’re both fucked up.” Roxy shrugged. “I can’t beat her in a war of words, and I wouldn’t try. My advice? Sit on her and force feed her Saltines while telling her it’s for her own good.”

You had been skipping meals yourself. Even after eating normal food, you still felt hungry. Your system wanted something else to satisfy it, so what was the point? Rose latched on to that hypocrisy when you tried to nag her, so you’d end up sitting across the table from each other with plates of leftovers cold from the fridge, matching each other mouthful for mouthful. Whatever worked.

The worst of that is past now. But sometimes she still behaves in ways that make you wonder if after all these sweeps she really trusts you.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- GA: Jade GA: Shes Doing It Again GG: whos doing what? :o GA: You Know Who GA: Who Else Do I Come To You In Search Of Explanations For Their Inexplicable Habits GA: Show Some Space Player Solidarity Here GA: There Are So Few Of Us Who View Common Sense As Part Of A Complete Breakfast GG: for everyone else its an optional granola to sprinkle on top GA: The Recipe Said Season To Taste And Im Afraid Theres A Serious Lack Of That In The Premises GA: Ok Can We Cut The Extended Cooking Metaphor Out GG: yeah, it was getting a little meanspirited GA: That Too I Guess Mostly I Didnt Want To Get Stuck Exchanging Culinary Puns GG: ok, what terrible thing is rose doing now GA: She Has Locked Herself In Her Room And Has Been Listening To Her Playlist Designated For Angst For Three Hours GG: lol GG: that behavior cannot stand! GG: except it sort of can, since we all have a right to privacy GG: even if we exercise that right by listening to sad music all day GG: these things cannot be revoked for bad taste GA: Actually Most Of It Has Been Pretty Good GA: Filtering Through The Door Gives It Nice Acoustics GG: maybe you need to give her some... space :D :D :D GA: I Just Want To Know What Upset Her GA: She Says It Wasnt Me But I Dont Know If That Means It Wasnt Me Or It Was Me And I Am Expected To Work That Out On My Own GA: A Reassessment Of The Past Few Days Activities Hasnt Turned Up Anything Suspicious GG: i cant think of anything that might have upset her... GG: ohhhhhhhhhh GG: i think its her moms birthday GG: that might be it GA: How Did You Know GA: Is That Supposed To Be Common Knowledge GG: she complained one time about having to go to a fancy dinner GG: something thrown by her moms colleagues i think??? GG: her mom made her dress up in something frilly, she said she felt like an american girl doll GG: to be honest she sent a picture and i thought it was a cute dress!! GG: definitely not her style though GA: Im Impressed You Remember GG: i try to keep track of these things GG: it was nice hearing about everyones lives, i always wished I could do things like that GG: tell me your lususes birthday, i will put it in my calendar GA: I Never Knew It GA: I Wish Shed Told Me GA: Rose I Mean I Dont Think Wriggling Days Are Important For Virgin Mothergrubs GG: dont take it personally GG: she does it to all of us, and youre her girlfriend so she has to be EXTRA secretive about terrible and compromising things like emotions GA: That Logic Sounds Backward GG: the human mind is a complicated maze of mystery kanaya GA: Sounds Mysterious GG: it is GG: she probably doesnt realize its stressing you out, i know shes trying to be better about that kind of thing GG: you know, COMMUNICATION!! D: GA: No Please Anything But That GG: the achilles heel of our entire household GG: i can bug her if you want GA: No Thats Ok GA: Mostly I Wanted To Make Sure I Hadnt Caused This And Needed To Resolve It GA: If She Wants To Grieve By Herself I Understand GG: if shes still in there by dinner well root her out! GG: there is a limit to how many sad songs are good for your soul GA: Ok GA: In The Meantime Do You Have Any Work That Needs Doing In The Greenhouse GA: Id Like To Keep My Hands Busy GG: theres some stuff that needs deadheading on table three GG: do you want company? GA: No Thats Fine GA: Ill Talk To You Later GG: sure thing! -- ¬¬grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] -- GA: Im Sorry About Your Mother TT: Who told you about that? GA: Jade TT: Figures. TT: Lousy goddamn supportive friends. GA: She Has Said She Will Flush You Out If You Dont Come Down To Dinner GA: Do You Feel Up To It GA: Otherwise I Can Convince Her To Leave You Be GA: She Is Easily Distracted From Her Resolutions If You Know How To Play Your Gaming Rectangles Right TT: No, I'll be there. TT: What time is it? GA: Half Past Five So No Rush GA: Im Still Gardening And Havent Washed Up TT: It might take me that long to get presentable. GA: Was Her Wriggling Day Important To You GA: I Admit The Concept Is New To Me GA: What With Our Ancestors Being So Far Removed From Our Lives And Our Guardians Being Literal Fauna Who Did Not Celebrate Notable Dates TT: It’s probably not even her real birthday. TT: We were all created on the same day, and I doubt anyone was on hand to record when her meteor touched down. TT: She must have picked a day she liked. TT: We used to give each other over-the-top gifts every year. TT: I thought she was being passive aggressive, so I reciprocated in turn. TT: The last year, I thought about getting her a bedazzled martini glass, but I didn’t get around to it. TT: Thank god. TT: I can only hope she interpreted my gestures as sincere as readily as I interpreted hers as sarcastic. TT: Otherwise she must have thought I was the worst daughter imaginable. GA: Im Sure She Didnt Think That TT: I wish I’d given her something better. TT: Something genuine. GA: I Was Working On A New Hat For Nepeta During The Game GA: I Got Some Monster Slime On Her Old One With A Sloppy Chainsaw Maneuver And Even Though She Said It Wasnt The First Time I Wanted To Make It Up To Her GA: And Help At Least One Of My Teammates Diversify Their Wardrobe TT: There’s always an ulterior motive, isn’t there? GA: You Tell Me GA: You Are The Expert In Decoding The Nefarious Meaning Hidden Within Every Exchange Of Pleasantries TT: It’s a secret code, Kanaya. TT: The sixth grader who tossed the newspaper into our yard this morning is working with the KGB. That’s what "Good morning" meant. This is well established in spy manuals. GA: My Knowledge Of Human Subterfuge Is Always Expanding GA: The Hat Was Supposed To Be A Surprise GA: Then I Found It In A Treasure Chest Not Long Into Our Journey GA: Theyre Gone And You Know That But Then You Find Something That Reminds You GA: Oh GA: Ill Never Give Her That Will I TT: I don’t know what I would’ve done if we’d lost anyone from our session. TT: Well, I do know. I have memories from a timeline where we lost half. TT: It wasn’t pretty. TT: I know in a lot of ways we got lucky. GA: Its Not A Contest GA: You Dont Have To Have Had It Worst To Feel Bad TT: I know. TT: But it’s hard. GA: See Look At Us Talking About Our Emotions Isnt That Nice GA: A Horrible Kind Of Nice TT: Or a nice kind of horrible. TT: Either or. GA: The Juxtaposition Is Key TT: I didn't mean to shut you out. GA: I Know You Need Privacy Sometimes GA: I Would Just Prefer To Know Whats Going On So I Dont Have To Worry About Whats Wrong GA: And You Know You Can Talk To Me TT: I know. Intellectually. TT: Is it weird I can trust you all with my life but not always with my feelings? GA: Kind Of GA: But I Get It GA: Were All Weird About Some Things TT: I'm trying to do better. And I'll let you know next time I need to indulge in a three-hour sad jams session so you won't worry. TT: Maybe after I've run through my playlist, we can even talk about it. GA: We Can Sit Awkwardly At A Table Waiting For The Other One To Break The Silence First TT: A tradition. GA: Also I Should Let You Know Its Stir Fry Night TT: Really? TT: You should have led with that. TT: Save me a seat.

As time passes, you all improve with hesitant steps that sometimes send you sliding back, sometimes not. Rose throws herself into her walkthrough, which she plans to distribute to anyone else caught up in SGRUB’s gears. Everyone is on consultant duty to flesh out areas of personal expertise. You, however, are her co-editor, a position of special privilege.

Rose views the work as one more way to help whatever players come after you. Your motivation is less selfless. Once, several sweeps and universes ago, an alien’s words found you and gave you something to hang on to. Somewhere, in a distant galaxy, someone else is being forced to play this game. Maybe your words can reach them, like Rose’s reached you. Working on the walkthrough now lets you build something together in a way that she won’t dismiss as sappy and overdone, a love letter for the universe.

That doesn’t mean you don’t run into difficulties, of course.

TT: Have you had a chance to look over the Prospit chapter? GA: Oh Uh GA: Ive Seen It TT: Did you have any feedback? TT: I'm going to ask Jade too, but I thought I'd give you the first shot. GA: Um GA: I Dont Know TT: Was it that off-base? TT: I know I'm a Derse dreamer, but I tried to be thorough. GA: Its More The Tone GA: You Wrote That Prospit May Look Friendlier But Should Still Be Viewed As An Antagonist Because It Has Ulterior Motives GA: And Maybe Thats True Especially About The Clouds GA: But My Time On The Moon Was The Brighter Portion Of My Childhood GA: And The People Of Prospit Were Always Kind To Me GA: So I Guess The Framing Made Those Memories Feel Kind Of GA: Threatened TT: Oh. GA: It Isnt A Logical Reaction TT: What do you think I should change? GA: I Dont Know GA: Maybe Nothing GA: Youre The Expert Here I Know Im Biased Toward My Moon Whatever Systems It Might Be Part Of GA: We All Take That View About Some Parts Of Our Youth Dont We GA: Even If It Was Part Of Something Bad We Remember The Good Moments GA: We Hold On To The Small Kindnesses TT: …Yeah. GA: You Can Disregard That Feedback GA: Youre The One With Writing Expertise And A Clear Goal In Mind GA: I Dont Really Know What Im Doing GA: Youre Better At This TT: I’m really not. TT: I just put on a more convincing show. TT: Don’t dismiss yourself. You have expertise in areas I don’t. GA: I Guess Im Not As Used To Putting Myself Out There TT: You can come up with a clever pen name. TT: There’s a tradition of vampires spelling their names backward. GA: Im Reformed TT: An anagram then, maybe. TT: Jokes aside, this is a collaborative project. We’ve got a Google doc and everything. TT: I don't want to intergalactically publish anything you're not comfortable with. TT: How about a revision session this evening? I'll bring Lofthouse cookies. GA: The Ones That Are Just Discs Of Sugar And Flour TT: With nary a redeeming nutritional quality in sight. TT: Keep that quiet, though. Jane would kill me if she knew I was smuggling them into the house. GA: Sounds Great Ill Be There

Rose’s typical drafting position is on her stomach with her laptop propped up on the pillow. You prefer to stretch your legs out with your back up against the wall. Thermoses of tea balance precariously between the two of you on the mattress.

“There’s been a lot of activity on the kernelsprite document,” Rose says, flicking through the pages. “Apparently Hal listed “100 advantages of being prototyped” and Dirk replaced it with “Most of this list is either illegal or immoral.” I’m turning track changes on to see what they were.”

You tap your fingers idly on the keys while your own husktop buffers. “Anything good?”

“Get away with murder,” she reads. “That’s cliché, you don’t even have to be a sprite for that. I think he just put it in there to be edgy. He’s trying so hard; you have to respect that. It’s like when I started buying black makeup to try to spite my mother.” She scrolls down further. “Oh, here’s a good one. Clip through the floor.”

“I’ve seen John do it. He’s not as original as he thinks he is.” You peer at her screen. “Eat your enemy’s phone. I’ll give him points for one. It’s not feasible for most mortals.”

Rose reaches across your legs for another cookie. “Sure, if you’re a coward.”

“I’ll accept that designation if it means avoiding a mouthful of circuitry.”

She chews thoughtfully and then flicks a sprinkle off onto the carpet. At least you’re in her room. Still, you feel a compulsion to pick it up. “About what you were saying earlier. I don’t want to contribute to any lingering insecurities.”

The change of topics catches you off guard. “They’re milling around in the lobby, but I’m not letting them upstairs.” You shrug, your shoulders sliding up the wall. “As we’ve been reminding each other, we can’t fix everything about ourselves immediately. I’m more confident than I used to be. I didn’t let Jake talk me into that routine with the glitter.”

“Shame.” She frowns at you, an expression diluted somewhat by a rim of frosting on her upper lip. “I’m not commandeering this project too much, am I? It’s nice to have something to be enthusiastic about again, but maybe I’m getting carried away.”

“No, you’re being very accommodating.” You squirm, smoothing out inconsequential creases in your skirt. Sometimes feelings don’t make sense. But once Rose decides she wants to talk about them, she tries to pin them to the page and dissect them. She does it because she wants to understand and help, the same way she wants to reverse engineer SBURB with words to assist players who come after. That doesn’t make the process any more pleasant when you’re the one on the operating table. “The problem is on my end, in the concern lobby. The lurking insecurities have been taking numbers for a while, and the counter is only up to twelve.”

“Like Inside Out crossed with a DMV? Hellish.” Rose picks up a pen and rolls it between her fingers. She likes to draft things longhand first sometimes. “I remember back on the last day of the game, you said you thought everyone burned brighter than you. You must’ve realized by now that my “burning brighter” is mostly because I have a habit of setting myself on fire.”

You’ll admit you’d been starstruck by the walkthrough’s mysterious author. It had been nice to harbor a new secret crush once Vriska was a lost cause. And you’d first met Rose face to face as a newly risen goddess bathed in the luminescence of the Green Sun. She’d seemed ethereal and beyond you.

Then, after the first few hours of sorting out living arrangements and watching Karkat roam around yelling for Gamzee to give the bodies back, she’d announced she was going to “sleep for a fucking week” and faceplanted into the nearest rug. Dave didn’t help beyond alchemizing some safety cones and setting them up around her. That had helped a little. So had seeing what her hair looks like in the mornings. “If you’re worried I have some unattainable vision of you set on a mental altar, rest easy. But you did restructure the multiverse with nothing but nerve, so I might still want your autograph a little.”

Rose brandishes the pen. “Only on the condition I get to sign your bra.” When you wave her away, she drops it on the pillow. “Spearheading the multiverse operation is one of my prouder accomplishments, I’ll admit, but my violet-tinged authorial prowess is entirely due to thinking I was hot shit as a pre-teen on the Internet. Besides, if we’re talking bragging rights, you fixed reality. Not to mention put up with us idiots for three years.”

“That was a struggle.” At times you’d wondered if you were the only one on the meteor keeping ahold of your wits. “Remember when the ceiling panels gave way and Gamzee fell onto the table?”

“Not our best group dinner. But you see, I’m a mess. You’re the one who has her act together.”

You frown. Being praised for your stability is a sore spot of yours. Yes, you’d been the one to bear everyone else’s struggles. That doesn’t mean you liked it. “I had to. Someone did. It got tiring after a while, though.”

Rose winces. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. You shouldn’t have had to. But it is impressive that you did.”

“You were sick,” you say, in response to her apology.

You see her shoulder blades rise and fall in a muted shrug. “I know. But that doesn’t mean you should have had to deal with it.”

“I guess…” Maybe you’re the one who’s prompted her to speak up, but you struggle with your words too. Troll culture teaches you that open exchanges of feelings are for moirails. Palemates are the only people you can trust the depths of your soul to, if you can truly trust anyone at all. Humans don’t compartmentalize in the same way. You can see the benefits of that system, but you still fear saying the wrong thing will push her away. “You undercut yourself to tell me I’m better than I think I am. But if I’m already worried about measuring up to some standard, that just pushes us both lower. Do you see what I mean?”

“The self-deprecation’s not cute. Got it.” She twists around in what is probably some kind of advanced yoga pose to look you in the eye. “But you shouldn’t undersell yourself either, ok?”

When she doesn’t break eye contact, you nod reluctantly. “This is a very affirming argument we’re having.”

She reaches over and prods you with the pen. “I’m channeling Jake. Believe in yourself.”

You smile. “It’s hard to resist, these days.”

When you’re done for the evening, Rose captchalogues her laptop and you troop out. Everyone has their own room, but all of you tend to spend more of your nights in the common area curled up in armchairs or slumped over each other on sofas, within easy sight of each other when you wake from bad dreams. After a few weeks of intentionally lingering there until you fell asleep, you made it official and filled the whole room with soft materials like a huge communal pile. Terezi even taped up democratically-determined regulations. Rose spends some nights curled up next to you with her face shoved so close against your neck you wonder how she can breathe. Sometimes, though, she retreats to a corner with a pillow at her back like a wall. You know not to approach her then.

Tonight, she finds an empty patch of floor and drops down on it. You lower yourself next to her.

“Are you happy with the chapter now?” she asks.

“I’d like to give it another pass tomorrow, but it’s much better.”

“And everything else?”

“That’s better too.”

“Good.” She gives you a peck on the lips and, when Terezi wolfwhistles, flips her the bird and kisses you for real. You kiss her back, until… You pull away.

“Are you wearing my lip balm?”

“Maybe.” She purses the lips in question. “It’s got a good flavor.”

“I was wondering where that went. You know, you could have just asked to borrow it.” Grudgingly, anyway. She has a terrible habit of licking the stuff off and then reapplying it to start the cycle anew.

Rose raises an eyebrow. “You offered to do my laundry so you could steal my favorite shirt.”

You think, with only a modicum of guilt, of the shirt you have stashed behind the laundry basket in your closet. “It’s very soft.”

“I’m never getting that back, am I?”

“Probably not.”

She sticks her tongue out at you and pulls a blanket over her shoulders. “Night.”

“Good night,” you say. That’s the only endearment you exchange.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -- GA: Karkat GA: Karkat Answer Your Phone I Know You Can See This GA: Youre Looking At It Right Now CG: YEAH I SURE AM. CG: I'M STARING AT THIS MARVELOUS HUNK OF PLASTIC AND ELECTRICITY IN MY HANDS AND REFLECTING ON HOW IT GRANTS US THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER FROM ANY DISTANCE. CG: SUCH AS, FOR EXAMPLE, EIGHT FUCKING FEET AWAY. GA: This Is Private CG: I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD A CONCEPT OF PRIVACY ANYMORE. CG: COLOR ME SURPRISED, SO SOME THINGS ABOUT OUR LIVES *AREN’T* SUPPOSED TO BE COMMON KNOWLEDGE? GA: It Might Help If You Spoke With Any Kind Of Discretion Or Volume Control CG: NOT AN OPTION. CG: CARRY ON. GA: Youve Watched A Lot Of Human Romances GA: What Is The Appropriate Interval Before Affirmations Of Matespritship Are Exchanged GA: You Know Like GA: Uh CG: "I LOVE YOU"? GA: Yes That CG: THE FIRST STEP IS BEING ABLE TO TYPE IT INTO A PRIVATE CHAT SESSION WITHOUT BLUSHING. CG: I CAN SEE YOU OVER THERE. GA: Dammit GA: What Is The Waiting Period Here Like Three Sweeps CG: SO I GUESS SHE HASN'T DONE IT YET? GA: Well GA: Not Sober GA: She Was Quite Eager To Confess Admiration While On Soporifics GA: To Everyone And Everything Including Inanimate Objects GA: Im Not Sure Such Exchanges No Matter How Heartfelt Can Be Considered Fully Genuine CG: YOU'RE IN LUCK, A LOT OF HUMAN FILMS COVER THIS IN DEPTH. CG: IF YOU WANT I CAN ARRANGE A VIEWING SESSION WITH SOME MORE INFORMATIVE SELECTIONS. GA: That Might Be Fun GA: But Mostly I Would Appreciate Some Friendly Advice GA: As Educational As Im Sure The Latest Work Starring Anne Hathaway Would Be CG: AN EXECUTIVE SUMMARY IS: CG: IT USUALLY DOESN’T TAKE THIS LONG. CG: BUT THE CHARACTERS INVOLVED ARE OLDER, THE SAME SPECIES, AND HAVEN’T BEEN THROUGH A WAR, SO IT’S NOT A REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE. CG: ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT IT? GA: Not Exactly GA: I Know The Sentiment Is There GA: If Anything I Just Hope She Feels Comfortable Enough She Knows She Can Be Open With Me GA: Shes Trying But I Can Tell Its Still Difficult For Her CG: DAVE SAYS "its obvious shes crazy about you" SO NO WORRIES THERE. GA: Why Is Dave Part Of This Conversation CG: HE WALKED OVER AND LOOKED AT MY PHONE OVER THE BACK OF THE SOFA. CG: LIKE I SAID. PRIVACY = ZERO GA: Hi Dave CG: HE SAYS HI. GA: I Saw Him Wave GA: Now Tell Him To Go Away CG: AND HE’S GONE. CG: THE CHAT IS CLEAR OF FUTURE BROTHERS-IN-LAW. GA: Future What CG: THAT’S WHAT YOU’LL BE IF YOU AND ROSE GET "HUMAN MARRIED". CG: THE RITUAL MAKES YOU FAMILY WITH THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY. CG: I’M PRETTY SURE IT WAS HISTORICALLY DESIGNED TO ACQUIRE ECONOMIC AND POLITICAL ADVANTAGES. CG: YOU KNOW, KIND OF LIKE HOW INTERCASTE MOIRALLEGIANCES CAN AFFORD LOWER CASTES PROTECTION. CG: BUT IN MODERN TIMES MOSTLY IT MEANS YOU’RE STUCK WITH THOSE CHUCKLEFUCKS FOR LIFE AS A PACKAGE DEAL. GA: Oh No CG: OH YES. GA: Karkat I May Be Rethinking This Whole Venture CG: TOO LATE, I’M GOING TO BE YOUR BEST MAN. IT’S ALREADY DECIDED. GA: What Is A Best Man GA: Is It Whoever I Have Designated If I Were For Some Reason Obligated To Wed Someone Of That Gender CG: NO. CG: THE MOVIES AREN’T ENTIRELY CLEAR ABOUT THEIR ROLE, BUT IN GENERAL THEY GIVE HEARTFELT SPEECHES AND PROVIDE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. GA: Maybe I Want Jake To Be My Best Man GA: He Can Recite Touching Monologues Ripped From The Silver Screen CG: YOU HAVE NO SAY IN THIS WHATSOEVER. CG: (YOU KNOW I’M JOKING, RIGHT?) GA: I Figured GA: Although I Wouldn’t Put It Past You To Try To Plan That Kind Of Thing Out For Me CG: HEY IF YOU EVER WANT IDEAS, I CAN THROW SOME OUT THERE. CG: YOU’RE WAY TOO YOUNG FOR THAT KIND OF THING THOUGH. CG: AND WE STILL HAVE TO GET YOU FROM POINT A TO POINT B, WHICH INVOLVES TRAVERSING THE ROCKY TERRAIN OF EMOTIONAL HONESTY, WITH WHICH I HAVE HAD NO PAST PROBLEMS AT ALL. CG: YOU COULD ALWAYS SAY IT FIRST YOURSELF I GUESS. CG: UNLESS YOU THINK THAT’LL MAKE HER EVEN MORE NERVOUS? GA: It Might GA: Outright Displays Of Emotion Embarrass Her She Relates It Too Much To Her Drunken Excesses And Those Of Her Mother GA: If I Can Be Permitted To Psychoanalyze Here GA: Shes Admitted As Much CG: THEN… LET HER KNOW SHE CAN FEEL COMFORTABLE? CG: THAT DOESN’T SOUND VERY EXCITING, BUT MAYBE IT DOESN’T HAVE TO. CG: THEY MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT IN THE MOVIES BUT I THINK AS LONG AS YOU’RE BOTH ON THE SAME PAGE WHETHER THOSE THREE EXACT WORDS HAVE ESCAPED YOUR QUIVERING CHUTE FLAPS DOESN’T MATTER ALL THAT MUCH. CG: THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO SHOW YOU CARE. I’M PRETTY SURE YOU’VE GOT THAT COVERED. CG: MOVIES AREN’T ALWAYS THAT REALISTIC ABOUT WHICH PARTS OF A RELATIONSHIP ARE A FEDERAL FUCKING ISSUE VERSUS WHICH PARTS ARE NEGOTIABLE. GA: !! CG: YEAH YEAH RUB IT IN. CG: SO I RELIED ON THEM A LOT, IT’S NOT LIKE I HAD MUCH PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. GA: I Shouldnt Criticize This Was Helpful GA: Thanks For Listening GA: And I Would Like To Watch Movies With You Sometime If That Offer Is Still On The Table CG: DEFINITELY. CG: I’LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN I’VE GOT A GOOD LINEUP PULLED TOGETHER.

A few days later, Rose wanders into your room unannounced and flops onto the bed. This isn’t uncommon behavior, so you keep sorting through your clean laundry. Her cat behaves similarly, insinuating himself into a room as if he belongs there. It’s a lazy confidence you envy. “We should go out,” she says, directing her words at the ceiling.

“We should?” you ask, holding two socks up to see if they match. They don’t, exactly, but they are a pair. Rose knitted them for you herself. They’re lumpy and awkwardly shaped, and you treasure them.

“We were going to do something fun after the game, remember? That was the plan. But we've both been sick, and outside is...” Rose waves toward the window and the world it serves as a barrier against. “Outside, so we haven't gotten around to it. But we should. You’ve been in your room a lot. It’ll do us both good.”

Drat. Your downturns aren’t as explosive as the others’. Sometimes you simply withdraw, spending more time on your own while a mental screen descends between you and the world, distorting it like a blur filter. There’s nothing wrong with you, exactly; it’s just that you don’t have the energy. That’s not bad, right? There are worse things than numbness. “What were you thinking we could do?”

She sits up halfway and then flops back down again. The pillows bounce. “I was hoping you'd have some ideas.”

You twist the socks together and toss them into the appropriate drawer. “The only thing I remember suggesting was outfits without sleeves.”

“Compelling, but not really something to make a date out of.” Rose frowns. “Have we ever... had a normal date? By regular people's standards?”

“Troll or human?” You shake your head. “I don't think any species would give us a passing grade.”

“Earthworms might be impressed.”

You pout. “You've never taken me to any good plots of soil.”

“We'll do that next time. For now, Jane said someone needs to do the shopping.”

“You know how to sweep me off my feet.”

Rose, still prone, waves a list in your direction. “It'll be fun. We get to pick which flavor of potato chips we want, and everyone else has to live with it.”

If Alternia had anything like supermarkets, they hadn’t spread near your oasis. For all that your caste can stand the sun, the electric lights hurt your eyes. They’re too bright – a harsh white that makes all the bright colors look flat and artificial. You reach for Rose’s hand, and she squeezes it. “I appreciate the support,” you say, “but I wanted to see the list.”

“Oh. Right.” She brings it up for both of you to consult. “Does Jade know how expensive beef is? She’s really running us through it.”

“She’s been talking about growing vegetables for the household. It’s too bad she can’t raise her own cows.”

“Don’t give her ideas. She wouldn’t be able to bring herself to butcher them, not after we’d named them all.” Rose leads you to the back of the store and scoops up slabs of meat packed into tidy foam and plastic containers. The setup is so clinical your residual rainbow drinker instincts don’t even twitch. It’s a far cry from the Alternian pastime of slicing your dinner up while it’s still wriggling. “We need milk,” she begins, and trails off after she pivots to the left. “It was that way in my old store. But they must not follow a common plan.”

Rose looks unmoored now that her navigational confidence has been broken. A lot of the humans are like this, wavering when their world doesn’t behave the way they think it should. It’s almost easier for those of you who expect foreign ways and customs. It’s harder to be a stranger in your own home. “We’ll wander,” you say, and steer her firmly by the shoulder.

By a combination of trial and error and studying signage like relics of a lost civilization, you manage to gather everything on the list. The only problem comes when you pass a series of shelves stacked with bottles, and Rose stiffens. It takes a moment for the pieces to fall into place – you’ve never seen wine packaged in its original containers before.

”Come on,” you say, linking your arm with hers. “Help me test which limes are ripest.”

You have to tug for a moment before she comes with you. You don’t think she’s planning to make a running leap for the vintage. If anything, she looks like she does when there’s an enemy sighted, wary and ready to spring. If she destroys several wine racks with a blast of divine light, that’ll probably go on your bill.

”Sorry,” she says, once you’ve made it to the produce section. “At my old store, it was in a separate room. Not out in the open.”

You lean toward her a little, so your shoulders press together. “It took you by surprise.”

She leans back. “Like pulling down your sheets and seeing a spider in your bed.” You see a dot of blood on her lower lip. She must have bitten it. “It must be harder for you. There’s no getting away from all that blood walking around on two legs.”

”It’s easier not to slip up, though.” You reach over with your free hand and dab at her cut, wiping the smear on the side of your shirt. “They’d make a fuss if I tried to sample it.”

”That’s what recovering alcoholics need.” She swipes at her mouth herself, but the wound is already closing. “Wine bottles that scream when you open them.”

”You’ve uncovered a new industry.”

”I need to patent it immediately.”

You squeeze her arm before letting go. If she’s making jokes, that’s a good sign.

Rose perks up when you’re heading toward the checkout. “Hang on. We have to stop by the natural foods section.”

”We do?” You check the list again. There’s nothing left on it.

”You never know,” she says. Now it’s her turn to drag you along. “The cure to all our life’s problems might be hiding next to the apricot kernels.”

Her tone is mocking. “Is there something wrong with natural products?”

”Not on their own. Jade says a lot of processed food upsets her stomach after growing up without it. But some people will pitch organic to you as the cure for cancer, and if you’re telling me you feed your four-year-old Goji berries instead of getting him vaccinated, I think you’ve opened yourself up to public disdain.” Rose plucks a box of tea off the shelf. “Look at this one. It says it’ll revitalize your body and restore harmony to your thoughts. All for twelve dollars, too.”

”Sounds like a deal.”

”It would have its work cut out for it with us. Hey, if I drink Sleepy Time and Stay Alert blends at the same time, what do you think will happen?”

”You’ll shed your corporeal form and ascend to a being of pure consciousness, and that would be a shame, because I like your face.” You retrieve the boxes and put them back before she decides to do product testing. “Apparently these exotic grains cure depression with their wholesome vitamins and minerals.”

”Buy the whole shelf.”

She’s right; some of these products are ridiculous. The two of you are giggling over asparagus water when a middle-aged woman pushes past you with her shopping cart. A highblood couldn’t look down their nose better. “Are you girls done with that?” she asks.

”Definitely,” Rose says, straight-faced. “I’d recommend it. It made us gay.”

Rose did the talking there, and you were too busy laughing to think of how to react. But when you get to the cashier, your tongue twists in your mouth. You stammer through pleasantries until Rose rescues you and completes the transaction. You drift away while she's collecting the bags, pretending to peruse the week's advertisement flier.

“She was pretty,” Rose says when she joins you, groceries in tow. “Is that why you were stuttering?”

You take half the bags from her. It would have been polite to help her carry them from the conveyor belt, but you needed to escape. “Was she? I didn't notice.”

She nudges you with a conspiratorial grin. “You don't have to play coy. I won't get jealous.”

“I'm not playing coy.” You shift one of the bags over your wrist, and something inside crinkles. Hopefully you didn’t break anything. “Her face was a blur. I panicked.”

Rose’s smile fades. “I’d forgotten you could be shy.”

The automatic doors whoosh open as the two of you approach. You sidestep a mother and her offspring going the other direction. “When you grow up on an oasis where your nearest neighbors are the shambling undead, you're a little cautious of strangers.”

“But willing to send them messages on Pesterchum questioning their intelligence and morals.”

She printed your first conversation logs off and stuck them to her wall, which you find equally endearing and annoying. Every time you see them, you itch to pull out a pen and make edits. “That's different. We weren't face to face. And... this is all new, here. I worry they'll be able to tell.”

“That they'll scream “Space invader!” and cart you off to a top secret facility?

”I’m sure it’s funny to you,” you say with a sniff, starting across the parking lot. “They won’t dissect you.”

She smiles again – you meant her to; the dissection at least was a joke. “I get nervous too. Not as much now after everything we’ve been through, but I’ve always been hyperaware of social situations. But I tend to take the ‘don't get scared; get angry’ approach.”

You recall how she marched up to the conveyor belt and slammed down her purchases. “I did wonder if you were going to challenge the salesperson to a strife.”

“Chalk it up to the childhood narcissism. I always felt like everyone was passing judgment.”

You accidentally make eye contact with a man stepping out of his vehicle and redirect your gaze at Rose’s collarbone. “Like everyone's watching.”

She nods. “And that's not true. They have their own problems and couldn't care less what we do. We're not important to them. In this case, that's reassuring.”

You’re surprised she finds it comforting. You’re happy to fade into the background; Rose likes to be noticed. You’d never realized it frightened her too. “What a pair we make,” you say.

“Between us, we add up to one functional person.”

You pull open the car door for her with a flourish. “I'd be generous and say at least 1.5.”

A few of the humans have been working to get their licenses so Jane’s father doesn’t have to drive them everywhere. Rose only has a permit, but that doesn’t stop her from using the car. Seer powers let her know if there’s likely to be trouble, but otherwise she drives like she’s got a grudge against the pavement. She peels out of the parking spot and then slams on the brakes. You hug a carton of eggs to your chest so they don’t splatter against the windshield. “What is it?”

”We have cold bags for everything, right?”

”Yes.” It was overkill for a short trip, but you prefer to be prepared.

She pulls into the store’s partner gas station while you wave apologetically at the elderly woman she just cut off. “This is a date. We’re going to get coffee.”

The coffee machine is broken, so you both get 99 cent slushies and sit on the curb next to the free air pump. The parking spot is empty save for a mulch of cigarette butts and ripped up Lotto tickets. Rose slurps some of her concoction out of a straw. It’s a murky mess, and you spotted her squirting a few shots of energy drink in for good measure. You spent several minutes painstakingly creating a rainbow pattern and are now trying to drink evenly to keep the layers intact. A bag of chips slumps half-empty between you. They’ll complain about that back home, but it’s their fault for not coming along to supervise.

Rose sucks on her straw with a noise like a drain unclogging. “How’s this for romance and adventure?”

“I could do it again,” you say. And you could. The encounter with the cashier still leaves you shaken, but the haze has peeled off the world. It’s funny how after everything you’ve been through, something as simple like this can be energizing. There are groceries in the car that need to get back and a household worth of responsibilities to keep up with, but right now it could just be the two of you setting off on some new adventure. Rose has always made you feel that way. Light players make the world narrow around them, drawing in attention, compressing possibility. They’re a lantern you bump against, entranced. With Rose, you’ve found one that doesn’t burn.

”Well shit, these were ninety-nine cents.” She smirks in the way that means you’ve missed a joke. “I think our budget can afford it.”

”Thank you for dragging me out here.” Lurking in your room seems silly now. “It helps, borrowing your confidence.”

”It’s a show,” she says. “I don’t know how you manage to seem so centered all the time.”

”Amateur theatrics,” you say. “One functional person, here we are.” She raises her drink in a toast, and you knock them together. ”I mean it, though,” you continue. “It’s nice, the way you turn things into adventures. Even if it’s a shopping trip, I don’t know where we’re going to end up. It’s unpredictable, but I like it. I like spending time with you.”

She smiles and looks away. Whenever you’ve successfully induced emotions, she never wants to look you in the eye. “That slushy must have made an impression.”

”It was good.” You flick the straw, sending drops of condensation scattering across the asphalt. “We didn’t have anything like this at home, at least not where I grew up. That might explain part of the rapturous response. But mostly I think it’s because I love you.”

Rose stills. That might be a bad sign, but you’ve gotten yourself into this situation, so you might as well keep going. “I’m not trying to corner you,” you say, looking down at your knees. “I know you have difficulty expressing some things. But I wanted to express that. Right now.”

When you sneak a look over, her shoulders are shaking. The ice from your drink solidifies in your stomach until you realize she’s laughing.

”Do you know how long I’ve been agonizing over this?” she asks.

”I knew why,” you begin. “Your mother…” That’s not a complete sentence, but it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes you want to ask John to transport you into Rose’s past so you can grab the woman by her shoulders and shake her. “How could you be so careless?” you want to demand. “Didn’t you realize what you were doing?” You are all the results of what has been done to you, combined with your attempts to overcome it. Even with your universes gone, their impressions remain as indelible parts of you. You wouldn’t want Rose to be anything other than who she is, but that doesn’t stop you from wishing she could have gotten something better growing up.

“That was what started it.” Rose takes a gulp of her drink. The humor drains from her voice. Now she’ll look you in the eye. “She’d vanish into her laboratory or a drunken stupor and leave me to fend for myself. The first time I tried cooking spaghetti I set off the fire alarm. I couldn’t get it to stop until I climbed up on a chair and took the batteries out. She slept through the whole thing. So when she turned up with a new present, how could I believe it was sincere? And even if it was, it didn’t make up for anything. If all you can give is the trappings of love, like you’ve bought out a Valentines’ clearance sale but can’t be damned to raise your own child, it doesn’t count.” She sloshes the remains of her drink around with one hand and watches it like she’s reading tea leaves. “So I guess I distrusted all of it. The glitz, the performance, anything. Even the words. Because if you do it right, they should know. But… in the past I’ve been guilty of overcorrecting.”

“Really?” You try to keep your tone teasing. Anything else might alarm her.

She elbows you in the ribs, but not hard. “Sometimes I’ve turned the wheel a bit and drifted over the dividing line between reasonable responses and terrible decisions by a few millimeters.”

“I think a driving instructor might say you sailed over the median, engaged with oncoming traffic, and left the highway entirely for parts unknown. What?” you add. “I’ve read the manual you’re all practicing from.”

“Five dollars says you pass the test before I do. After the timeline John made unhappen, I realized I’d never told you. For all the wrong, stupid reasons. I shouldn’t have let any of that stop me. I would’ve died with that as one of my greatest regrets. So I wanted it to be perfect, since I made you wait so long.” She covers her mouth with one hand and smiles through her fingers. “God, you should see my search history. I watched promposal videos, although I wiped all that data and I’ll deny it if you tell anyone. And here we are –” she pauses and shakes her head - “in a gas station parking lot. But you know what? I think it fits.” She slings an arm around your shoulders and plants a sticky kiss on your cheek. “I love you. Let’s make it count.”

This is what you have learned from dating Rose Lalonde. Expect your lives to accumulate the clutter of experiences together – receipts and stolen shirts and empty packages still streaked with frosting. Expect to make missteps, because the two of you are walking an uncharted path one step after another. Sometimes you fall, fight your demons, and climb back up again. You are all doing this for the first time.

Expect her to say she loves you in unexpected ways. A new package of lip gloss left on your pillow. A flower pressed between the pages of a heavy book to make it delicate and perfect. Occasionally, the words.

Make it count.

[decodervon]

disregard the last post.

i made that with a lot of anger and frustration. weve talked a lot since then and I'm... not that angry anymore. I probably shouldn't even be talking with you, but i hate how much it helped.

i hate curiosity. i always scolded you and warned you about looking for things you might not want to find and i did it. i found something i didn't want to find.

i found out you were casually dating again.

and of course you are. i mean. we "broke up" in September. it's been months. theres no reason to feel shameful or bad. I cant fault you and I cant be mad at you. and I'm still mad about some stuff, but that's not one of them.

this one hurts though. i knew i would feel like this, but i hate how much my mind keeps REMINDING ME. I'll be trying to sleep and my mind is like, "u kno she seeing someone right. they prolly banging. its prolly way better then ur tired ass sex. doesnt have to say weird fetish shit." and its LIKE. OK. I GET IT. STOP. STOP REPEATING OVER AND OVER. DONT WAKE ME UP TO REMIND ME.

i heard about it after I went snooping about your party. people said their was distinct body language and he seems to have a very outgoing personality and seemed really nice. it sounds like exactly what you need and IT KILLS ME.

I HATE I went snooping. OF COURSE this is what i get. we've talked since then and i know you feel confused and scared. best thing I could actually do for you is leave you alone and let you have a real chance at it. maybe it's a rebound. but so were we. my evil, manipulative side knows that you still feel emotionally connected to me due to calling me about Vday stuff. my pragmatic side wants to sort out a deal where i exchange emotional support for physical intimacy because I know we both want those things and know the other can give them. i can listen and talk and care about your problems and you could do whatever weird, gross, aggressive sexual stuff and not judge me (I think.) but my less evil/neutral sides know that that would throw a wrench in both our things and the best thing I can do is stay away.

that being said... I dont want to. it's like doing coke or something. like yeah, it's bad. but like. if no one knows... then maybe it's not THAT bad. like it would detrimental to us if we got together and we argued and fought. that would be unhealthy. but just... secreting away and being physical and keeping it hot and fast.. ugh. I mean. its sorta like all those fantasies you helped me with. except we wouldn't be pretending.

ugh. prolly makes me a horrible person. prolly makes US. I know you kind of want to do the same thing. I tried to cool suggest it, but you're probably conflicted about it too. I want you to just... show up late one night. some random text at like... 11pm being like, "I'm outside. should I leave?" and then I mull it over and invite you in quietly. you're wearing something impossibly hot like you do. we hug and I can tell you want to feel my body because it's been so long. we go back to my room and talk awkwardly for a few minutes. we both mention how you shouldnt be here sheepishly while ignoring the fact neither of us are protesting it very hard. you slide off your coat, looking me in the eye the whole time. that longing, sad look. that look that makes it impossible not to kiss you. I pull away after a minute and say, "this is wrong. we shouldnt be doing this." and you lean in close to my ear and whisper "hes not you." and I instinctually press my body against yours. you nuzzle into my neck as you slide your hands under my shirt, around my waist and up my back. I put my hands on your waist and take a deep breath of the smell of your hair. I say, "i dont want to hurt anyone" you said "I dont care." or more likely "no one has to know"... we appreciate each others bodies like we always should have. I go over every inch of you, knowing I might not see it again. you go over those inches of me like they're an old friend you're excited to see. you say all the terrible things I want you to say and I hurt you like you liked to be hurt. we go on for an hour. i want you to stay but i cant ask. my willpower drained with my stress. you fix yourself and disappear like an uninvited vampire. i cry. a lot. i hold myself and wish it was you. the lifetime of memories creeping back onto me. I hate myself for what I've done, but desperately try and inhale your fading scent still lingering in my bed.

ugh. I'm probably gonna end up writing something hot and complete after sharing that. I hate that I want that so bad. but I shouldnt. I have more to lose in this than you do.

you would hate me if you knew what I had been up to since. one of the other reasons I cant judge you for moving on. I've talked and reached out to many people you arent a fan of. not to spite you, but because those people knew me in intimate ways I can trust. I gained insight from talking to them and meeting with them. but that's not what I'm referring to.

im... also.. casually dating someone. it's still all pretty fledgling, as I am WAY too delicate to dedicate myself to anyone. but its... it's someone you know. some things had been happening that neither of us knew about.. and I dont want to tell you because I feel like I'd be cursing you with the same curse that I have. imaging you with that person, not being able to stop... but I know the curiosity is almost as killer for you. its.. a hard thing to figure out morally. but I dont want to jeopardize it. its... it's a once in a lifetime chance. they care about me.. legitimately. and probably more than they should with how emotionally volatile I am right now. but they dont really know how.. I am. part of me is a sweet, great guy. but another part of me is the type to want to have that night I wrote about. a secret trust where we exhaust each other physical and say all the sick things we want, knowing that the other wont judge them. (hell, anything is better than arguing)

I want to be physically wanted... but I want to be wanted by you. I loved when you would love my body. cause like... in my head, when people say things about loving me, I always diffuse it "oh she just thinks she loves me like that" "oh shes convinced herself she likes that about me" "oh she thinks that's cute now, but give it time..." and its just... innate to my awful self esteem. but body stuff? making out with me? going down on me? holding, examining and loving.. parts of me? it feels so much... truer to me. like someone couldnt lie about that. I know thats... naive to think. but that's how it feels. no one who doesnt like you is gonna put their dick in their mouth. bottom line. or go along with your fantasies that you yourself think are strange to be attracted to. i wanted you to want me so bad. i wanted you to love my body and tell me youd been thinking about it. it's such a direct link to my heart.. ugh. but that.. stuff got all messed up. I think that's what made me fall in love in the first year. you cherished my body. you worshipped it. you wanted to sherk your duties to have more of it and I was totally enthralled. that first year made me stay for so long and through so much. always chasing that high. that time where my body was all you wanted and all i wanted was your heart. and it all got so... nevermind.

the person I'm dating.. we're talking it very slow. ive.. kissed her. in fact, your vday call interrupted that kiss. can you believe that timing? thanks universe. if you're trying to say we should get back together, maybe dont kill a beautiful innocent cat next time. I was mad you wanted me to support you through death.. after you abandoned me when I needed your support so bad. I'm still kinda mad. but whatever. this isnt a mad post.

i.. its. shes.. she lets me talk about you. she knows you. maybe better than I did. its hard.. shes not experienced with.. our type of relationship so much. I try not to put much on her. for the reasons of not wanting to overburden her and to keep from forming an instant bond. I know I still have these raw, visceral feelings for you and I dont want to hurt someone I care about because of them. I dont know how you know your new guy, but my guess is: not very well. maybe it's a tinder date. maybe it's a friend of a friend. but if I had to make an educated guess, it's someone far removed who is just.. treating you well. like how you want to be treated. kind of a nobody, but that's a good thing. like if things kept being nice, cool. if they didnt work, whatever. something noncommittal. something lowkey. something you didnt have to /worry/ about. which is all... smart. but I also know that if you felt like you wanted to drive that shit into a wall, you wouldnt lose a lot of sleep over it. and you considering the tryst.. well. yeah. speaks to that effect. i... I wonder if I should have even suggested its because I can't drive my thing into a wall. its... I cant. youd understand if you knew.

theres probably only one person in your mind you would legitimately fear me dating if you sat down and thought about it. someone that wasn't just someone you didnt want me dating. not like Kayla or Grace where it would just... bug you. I mean deeper. someone that you couldnt wrest me away from. someone that your charms would fall flat because of. I'm talking Caitlyn levels of dedicated affection. and as I said, I dont want to jump in. I know how easily i fall in love. I'm taking this slow. developing a foundation. trying to figure myself. wanting someone to treat me well and watch anime and cartoons with while being warm and laughing. someone to affectionately take care of me. someone who wanted to spend time with me.. someone who's house i could come over to in the daylight.. someone who's friends were excited for her and not judgemental of her..

I get why you're dating. I'm doing the same thing for the same reasons. i need this. you need this. i wanted you to treat me these ways but i couldnt keep.. telling you how to treat me after so many years. you could write a book on me. I STILL know how to take care of you and I mostly figured it out after years. I wanted to see you try and figure me out. you didnt have to be right. I just wanted you to try. I left a breadcrumb on my IG for this story, but I never know when or if you'll ever read these. I always want to hear your feelings too. I wish you wrote like this. I wish I had a direct line to your thoughts like back in the day when you wrote. it always helped. I still check your tumblr from time to time. like the idiot I am.

ugh. like the absolute idiot I am.

(ps. I watch that last video we made like every day.)

[midyearflowers]

Not to be scary but I want to know everything abt ur cat

honestly ive done this to so many people it was only a matter of time before someone told me to answer every question so its cool lol

1. Name?: ive got 2 but ill use Smokey for this since i hand picked him as a kitten2. Fur color?: grey with a white patch on his chest, mouth, and feet like little socks. some patches actually turn brown in the sun and when he was a kitten he had stripes3. Any family you know (other than you)?: i met both his parents and he has two siblings however we only have him. and my other cat Princess is his reluctant roommate4. Age?: hes a grandpa now at like 13/145. Favorite toy?: we have these plastic cage balls with tiny bells in them and he absolutely loses his mind when he hears it6. Nicknames?: dumbass, weiner, goober, smoters, buddy, dumb butt, poop machine, my boi, the list goes on man7. Cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: problematic fave for sure. hes a little shit. but i would also die for him8. Length of fluff?: i guess he would be a medium length9. Any funny habits?: literally everything he does. he makes this adorable little noise thats basically the “???” noise and when he drinks out of the toilet he stands on his hind legs and daintily dips his head down. he also looks like a galloping horse when he runs and his tail does this weird curve10. How old were they when you met?: i hand picked him as a kitten when i was like 1111. What does their food bowl look like?: a fuckin mess cause hes a slob. its shallow cause if we put too much food he eats until he throws up, thus the dumbass nickname12. Indoor or outdoor cat?: indoor for the same reason as Princess13. Recent picture?: boop and boop14. Old picture?: precious baby15. Cuddly?: oh hell yes he loves to snuggle up in your lap or on your chest. he would sleep hanging over my dads shoulder as a kitten and loves to be in contact with you16. Ever changed their name?: no i gave them the most stereotypical name since i was 11 and kept it18. Eye color?: a pretty emerald green with a tiny little brown speck in the right one19. How do they express love for you?: hes always licking me. every inch of skin. and he sounds like a motor boat when he snuggles up20. How do you express love for them?: i smother him with kisses and give him the chin scitchies he loves21. Any theories on what breed?: no idea. i honestly dont know much about cat breeds. they are just.. cats22. Do they ever wake you up?: GOD YES every single goddamn morning he is in my face licking me and pawing me cause he wants food23. How much do they meow?: he never used to be very vocal, only making that “???” noise but he meows more now. mostly when hes curious about something and not getting answers or when we come home24. Any hiding spots?: if he can get under it he will be there. the bed, the table, your chair, the china cabinet, you name it25. Do they enjoy guests?: yes and no. hes pretty friendly if theres only one person and theyre quiet but the moment my cousins step in he is gone26. Lofty objects to sit on?: loves to sit on desks and the backs of couches/chairs. we put the ottoman by the window so he can sit there too27. Wear a collar? (and describe collar?): no collar cause they never leave the apartment28. How much shedding?: lots. not as much as Princess and ive managed to clean him up a bit but man for a while there i wanted to fucking shave him29. Do they enjoy brushing?: yes though he is always trying to rub his face on the brush and will not sit still30. Ever drink from the toilet?: yea and he looks so silly doing it31. How do they get your attention?: stares at me for an uncomfortable amount of time, sometimes he meows, most of the time he licks himself cause i hate when they do that right beside me32. Embarrassing thing they’ve done?: i once saw him trip up the stairs cartoon style, back legs went up over his head and i could practically hear the sound effect33. Weirdest thing they try to eat?: cat eats his own fucking vomit man. he is a vile creature who will eat just about anything34. Are they like your siblings, children, or friends?: he is my boi, my son, my precious companion35. What time do they eat breakfast?: before we leave for work so usually 7:30-8ish36. Do you cut their nails?: yes tho he doesnt like it one bit37. Do you think they understand you?: hes done things in the past that suggest he can tell when i need comfort but other than that hes an idiot38. Ever make fun of them?: literally all the time. im doing it right now39. Do you take their picture often?: my computer is filled with cat pictures like you have no idea40. Ever hiss at you?: not that i recall41. Ever try to scratch or bite you?: he goes for the bite all the time but im so used to it i dont care42. If you try to grab their paw, what do they do?: pulls away or tries to lick my hand43. Do they ever eat bugs?: he has a few times if it ended up on the floor. but mostly he just likes to stare at it44. Canned or dry food?: dry food. god help me if he only wanted wet45. Weight?: we used to make fun of him for being fat but honestly he has always been lean and solid. hes mostly heavy cause of his size and build.46. Ever got lost?: not lost per se but there was one instance where he somehow got out  of the house without anyone noticing (back when he was with my dad) and suddenly he was just in the window panting from being out and about. im so glad he came back cause we never would have known otherwise47. Do you buy them presents?: not really. we have so many toys as it is48. Do they respond when you call?: most times. if hes hyper and i over the top call him over he comes bolting49. Do they ever see other cats?: he grew up with two cats, one old female and the other a male around his age. now he lives with Princess50. Declawed?: unfortunately yes. i was too young to have any say and it was a long time ago51. Funniest expression?: his wide eyed empty stare52. Favorite place to be pet?: he likes chin and butt scritchies and will always move his head to meet your hand53. Worst thing they’ve destroyed?: nothing really comes to mind but he has ruined some plants by eating them and then the carpet when he threw them back up54. Give them a head kiss.: absolutely55. What time of the year is most exciting for them?: i dont think he can tell the difference56. Are they good at hunting real prey?: i doubt it. hes a little too hyper for his own good57. Do they ever attack nothing?: sometimes yea58. What are they doing right now?: no idea cause hes in the other room. probably cuddling with my mom59. How long have you had them?: his whole life so about 13/14 years60. If you could have them stay as a kitten forever, would you?: honestly he still acts like one so the only difference is the size. but i like him as an adult. more to cuddle61. Ever baby-talk to them?: all the time. certain nicknames i will say in a baby voice62. Favorite napping position?: he likes to curl into a ball and turn his head upside down63. Have you ever stepped on their paw?: yes :(64. Ever tripped you on stairs?: not on the stairs but just about everywhere else cause hes so damn fast65. Any ear hair?: i think? idk i dont really look in his ears66. Favorite view from a window?: he likes to watch birds and cars67. Describe why they are precious.: he has been my baby for so long and i picked him myself and i can tell he is happy with me68. Fit the cat stereotype?: practically to a T69. Chaotic neutral?: chaotic chaotic more like it70. Do they enjoy following/ keeping you company?: yes he follows me around if im home alone and wandering from room to room thinking out loud71. Are you their favorite human?: i like to think so72. Do they like tv?: not so much recently but we used to leave the aquarium channel on for him73. Favorite noise to make?: his “???” noise makes my heart make a “!!!” noise74. If they were a Neko Atsume cat, what would their momento be?: a string with a bell on the end

thanks for the questions!

[alegendarystudentwonderland-blog]

How to find affordable health insurance?

"How to find affordable health insurance?

I am an international student in the US, and by law I am required to get health insurance while I am in university. I have been buying from Blue Cross Anthem and the price is getting very unreasonable over the years. The price is close to $1500/year. What company do you suggest me to get cheaper insurance from? Something preferably under $1000.     Insurance Broker must certify that all of the following conditions are met:       * Policy must be in English       * All coverage limits must be in US dollars       * Medical benefits of at least $250,000 for each accident or illness       * Full cost of medical evacuation       * Full cost of repatriation of remains       * Coverage for the entire academic year*       * Minimum 75% coverage for each accident or illness       * No capped benefits e.g. $1,200 per day for hospital room       * Maximum deductible of $100 per condition per plan year       * Maximum out-of-pocket expenses $2,500 or less       * * Must cover pre-existing conditions, with a wait period of no more than six months if attending the full academic year     Thanks in advance.

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What insurance companies are cheap for young drivers that have 6points due to non insurance?

""Question for the car dealer...getting used cars for resale rock bottom..Manheim, Insurance Auto or co-part?""

ok.. I want to try my hand ( and if it works .. I will apply to be a dealer or some sorts myself ) at getting cars low price and selling them quick of like 10-20% profit. I 'd like to know what's the best place to buy cars CHEAP ( even if they are sightly damaged ) .....and resell them....Manheim ( I know thats a dealer-to-dealer auction . So I'd expect stuff to be very well marked on the price tag)... copart or Insurance Auto ( iaai as its called ) which one sells cars that are otherwise roadworthy , but very well discounted ( though some might need a cosmetic facelift )""

Car insurance help!!?

So about a month and a half ago, someone kicked my car at night and left a big dent. I was stupid and called insurance and they gave me two options: fix the car or take a cash settlement. However, no matter what I do, my monthly insurance rate is going to go up even though it was not my fault. I think this is ridiculous and not worth it and I just want to cancel the claim. But I have been told that once a claim is put in, there's nothing you can do and once you hit three claims, your overall premium goes way up. What do I do? Should I just stop contacting the insurance company and after a while they have to close the claim? I wanted to sell the car this week but I guess that adds too many complications...""

PLEASE HELP-How much would the Car Insurance be?

I've had this really crappy little car since I was 16, and I'm turning 18 soon, so my parents want to buy me a new car-I have some money saved up from my job/birthdays/holidays/my Grandma left me alot, and I was thinking a Porsche. How much would the Insurance be for me if I got a Porsche?""

Insurance rates 18 years old?

I am an 18 year old male who has been driving for about 2 and a half years. About how much more would a coupe cost for me than a sedan? http://www.nissanusa.com/altimacoupe/# vs. http://www.nissanusa.com/altima/

How do I find out how much car rental insurance rates will be if I rent a car ?

How do I find out how much car rental insurance rates will be if I rent a car ?

How much should the car insurance premium be like after 2 years?

How much should the car insurance premium be like after 2 years?

Best motorcycle to buy in Hawaii for college?

I prefer a Harley Davidson but any suggestions would be great. 0-2500$ must be good on insurance

Can I RENT A CAR for like a Day in CA without a CA License? without Car Insurance?

I have an MI drivers license and no car insurance and no car. when I go to CA for like two months, I want to know that I can rent a car over there on random days. true? how so? please explain, i'm confused.""

How much would insurance cost for a young person with a luxury car?

I was wondering if there's anyone (preferably a lady) between 22-25 who has a luxury car like a Jaguar, BMW or an Audi, and how much you pay for insurance. I'm 23 & looking to buy an Audi A4 or a BMW 3 series (second hand). So just wanted to know if theres anyone else out there with those cars :) thanks in advance x""

What is the best car insurance company in North Carolina?

Hi. So I recently moved from New England to North Carolina. I have my 2002 Toyota Camry. It was my Dad's and is still under his name. However, I want to get the title in my name hopefully by early 2014. That means paying for insurance too. I figure I'm going to have to do this soon, might as well do it now and learn more responsibility. My parents are paying for my car and their cars under MetLife. (Yes, the one with the Snoopy logo). They are paying about the same plan they did in Massachusetts. I know North Carolina has more competition in pricing and I want to shop around for a decent plan that gives me what I need but for a better price. My Mom is hysterical and doesn't want me to go anywhere else because she think NC insurance is crap. I like that MetLife gives me what I need but I'm not paying more than I have to in insurance. Sorry Mom. So my question is. What is the best car insurance company in North Carolina? Any suggestions. I would like a company that offers affordable plans but also is a reliable company when I need them. Please NO cheapo discount insurance. Here are my only two liabilities in my driving history: 1. Got into a minor car accident in October of 2011. Just a paint smear with another car. Nobody was hurt and neither car got in worse performance condition. 2. Got a seatbelt violation ticket in January 2013. (It was actually for speeding but the cop went easy probably because he saw I was wearing a suit. I was on my way to a family memorial service near the South Boston area.) Any experiences? I mean, what is my Mom worried about? I never hear in the news about people dying because they have NC car insurance. I know there is cut rate (bad) insurance out there because of competition. But there's got to be something better in NC than paying a Taxachuetts MetLife plan. (Sorry BayStaters, but you know it's true) Thank you!""

Can I change my health insurance?

I want to change my health insurance? I have Minnesotacare and I want to change it to Medical Assistance? My daughter needs braces for her teeth and Minnesotacare won't cover for it! And apparently we owe Delta Dental and our dental provider 5000 bucks?! Is that possible? We are certainly not paying 5000 for an X-rays for braces and my daughter didn't even get braces on?!

Who need health insurance?

Do a part time job need a health insurance?

What is some cheap health insurance?

What is some cheap health insurance?

Car insurance for new driver 16 years old?

my son just got his license and he is 16 and he will be insured on a 1962 vw bug and i was wondering what the average cost would be a month for insurance and what is the best but also cheap insurance he could get help?

How much is the normal rate for the instant car insurance quote for drivers between 18 and 25 ?

Hello i am interested to know how much the average car insurance cost would be for young drivers between 18 and 25 years. can anyone help me please?

Whats the best insurance company for a young driver?

just passed my driving test and was wondering what the cheapest insurance company for young drivers is?

How do I get affordable higher coverage health insurance?

I live in New York. I'm 22. I was on my college insurance plan, but I lost it when I went on medical leave. I had an extension plan, but that also expired. I have no job because I'm too sick to work. If I would go back to college before I got a job. Right now, I'm on a strictly emergency health care policy with no preventive care that runs me about $188 a month. I need more coverage though. The problem is that I'm not eligible for most plans because I don't work. For the coverage I need, it will cost over $1,500 a month. I can't afford that, I don't have income. What do I do? *Before my college plan expired, I was going to doctors. I am diagnosed with POTS, and I was having sleep studies where I was being treated for day time sleepiness. Never got an official diagnosis, but I probably have Idiopathic Hypersomina. Both of these require occasional tests and I will need to see doctors regularly until I have a treatment plan. I'm also a cancer survivor and need to go back in to get a battery of tests every year or so. Out of pocket, just a an office visit cost around several hundred dollars. (I have no lapse in coverage.)""

Full Coverage Insurance ripping me off ?

I got a wreckless driving dui dropdown in ohio live in kentucky in my Nissan 350z was paying $70 a month for full coverage under my parents plan... Now 2 years later after dealing with a bunch of bullshit driving a pos car with just liability for $100 a month in insurance for 2 years I finally have enough to buy a 08 nissan altima and I checked what full coverage would be and they told me $300 full coverage cheapest so I gave a few different cars and still the same price....Does it make since if my car payment is only $220 a month why in the hell would anyone pay more for insurance..?? & before you start saying something like a troll would I live in the country there is no bus stops or anything so I need a vehicle to get to work and back at this point the insurance cost to much for me to even afford when you have a apartment on ur own and only making $13/hour full time America doesn't make a god danm bit of since is this what the world is coming poverty P.S I hope i don't hit anyone without insurance....if only insurance was affordable.

Temporary car insurance in uk?

can you get short term car insurance in the uk for like say a few months??? reason being is i have my everyday car but... have my toy i would like to use maybe few months of a year.

How to find affordable health insurance?

I am an international student in the US, and by law I am required to get health insurance while I am in university. I have been buying from Blue Cross Anthem and the price is getting very unreasonable over the years. The price is close to $1500/year. What company do you suggest me to get cheaper insurance from? Something preferably under $1000.     Insurance Broker must certify that all of the following conditions are met:       * Policy must be in English       * All coverage limits must be in US dollars       * Medical benefits of at least $250,000 for each accident or illness       * Full cost of medical evacuation       * Full cost of repatriation of remains       * Coverage for the entire academic year*       * Minimum 75% coverage for each accident or illness       * No capped benefits e.g. $1,200 per day for hospital room       * Maximum deductible of $100 per condition per plan year       * Maximum out-of-pocket expenses $2,500 or less       * * Must cover pre-existing conditions, with a wait period of no more than six months if attending the full academic year     Thanks in advance.

How much would motorcycle insurance cost for a 15 year boy in the state of Wyoming?

How much would motorcycle insurance cost for a 15 year boy in the state of Wyoming?

Full coverage car insurance?

My parents are the primary insurance holders of the car insurance. It is full coverage and the 1st wreck since having this insurance which has been 5 years for this car. I am on the insurance but not a primary driver. I was involved in a car wreck on my car but my friend was driving and I was in the passenger seat. Since it is full coverage what happens? Do they have to have proof that I said he could drive? Or do they just go about and get it fixed and not say anything since the car is under full insurance? I have I clue when it comes to car insurance so of someone could explain everything the best they can it would be greatly appreciated

What is the best affordable health insurance plans?

I am 20 years old and do not have health insurance and I need to get my wisdom teeth pulled! So i'm looking for an affordable health insurance.I've already applied for Medicaid and was denied.I need help please!

Insurance help for teenagers?

I just got my license today and my parents were wondering if i still had insurance coverage or not? We have Grange insurance idk if that makes a difference or not. Help please!=]

Can I apply for Medicaid when im 18!?

So, im 18... and I live with my boyfriend right now. I would like to get on my own insurance so that I can have dental insurance and be able to afford braces. Is it possible to sign up for some sort of dental care that I could get on even if Im only 18?""

Whats an Affordable Auto insurance if you have 2 at fault accidents?

Hi I just turned 18 and in May I was blocked in at school and I had to leave. I hit a car and was dropped from Geico because it was my 2nd at fault accident. It just left a scratch on the car but still. I want to go to college full time and I need a job but I cant go to college at all if I have to pay 300 a month, which esurance was the lowest quote I got. So is there any places that can help me with my insurance so I can work part time and go to school full time?""

""Young driver getting a new car, insurance?""

Me and my fiance are buying a new car, im 20 and hes 22. Its a 2010 Mazda 3. We already went to the dealership and got a good price on it and even 0% financing. Signed all the papers and now we are looking at getting insurance but its putting us back a little bit. The car is all ready to go but not until we have insurance. Any ideas on good cheap insurance or are we basically screwed?""

Is insurance required to keep a valid Florida driver's license if I dont own nor drive a car?

I am not currently driving nor do is there a vehicle under my name. If i do drive it will be a friend or girlfriends car. Will the florida dmv suspend my license now that I have been removed from my parents insurance?

How much does motorcycle insurance cost?

I recently turned 18 and saved up enough money for a ninja 250. how much would insurance for this cost in michigan

How much would insurance for cars be around for 18 year olds ?

How much would insurance for cars be around for 18 year olds ?

Can I put car insurance in someone else name when financing a car?

Im gonna be financing a 04 mustang soon. Thanks.

Have any 19 year old male's managed to get their car insurance under 2 grand in the past year or so?

If so, what company were you with? On my mum's suzuki wagon the insurance quote from aviva have been ridiculously high, but I managed to get one for 2 grand with a 50% drop in price next year due to no claims, the cheapest i've managed so far. Anyone with experience know where to go or if it's possible to get it cheaper on a vauxhall corsa?""

Home insurance comparison?

Considering switching home insurance carriers. The North Carolina Rate Bureau (NCRB) rate and premium for a policy period from May 18, 2013 to May 18, 2014 is $770. The insurance company's proposed rate and premium is $984. This represents a 28% increase over the NCRB rate and premium. Our assessed home value is $525,000. We hold other policies with USAA (auto, life), but have not gone with them for home because the feedback we've received insofar as home has not been favorable. I welcome your home insurance insights, thank you.""

Insurance on a car? How much??

How much would it be to insure a car in UK, do I have to see a site? Eg, Ferrari, BMW, how much?""

(Australia) What is the normal procedure for a car accident without insurance?

I hit a car(Honda) 1 month ago, I was at fault. I don't have third party damage insurance on my car. For the other car, they have comprehensive. Recently, Honda's insurance company contacted me and told me to pay for the damages(the quote is $10,000). They haven't sent me the invoice yet. At the same time, Smash repair also contacted me regarding the damages(same quote, but can be cheaper if i pay cash to them immediately). Car owner also contact me saying that I have to pay Smash repair directly. My question is: If Honda's insurance company is invloved in this incident, should I deal with the insurance company direclty and ignore both of the car owner and smash repair? I will pay for the damages, just want to make sure it goes to the right person, and no more trouble(no double claim) in the future.""

Why is health-care so expensive?

Just last year in CA Medi-Cal (state medicaid) stop covering for dentistry and optometry for people over 21. The total cost of my dental braces is $4550. I need them so I can fix some teeth that are misaligned. I pay $100 and it seems like its a never ending balance. I been doing this for 2 years now. I have Medi-Cal because of my SSI but that doesnt cover anymore because I am 21. My mother had heart surgery in 2007 and we still haven't payed a bill. My parents don't have any insurance. They used to have Medi-Cal but when Schwarzenegger became the governor in 2003 he made some changes to the policies and they stop having Medi-Cal. She tried applying for SSI but she keeps getting denied. The republicans should stop attacking Obama and work together to pass the health-care reform.

Explain which is better to invest in insurance or mutual funds?

Explain which is better to invest in insurance or mutual funds?

How much would it cost to insure my scooter?

I'm looking for a fairly inexpensive way to get around So I found a 49 cc Honda Ruckus moped/scooter that I'm looking to buy and insure (because of mandatory insurance laws in Florida) How much would it cost to insure it if I'm looking for the lowest available plan for be in the confides of Florida law. I keep it inside my house at night. and BOTH if I HAVE HAD a learners permit for a year and DON'T and just got a license I'm 18 and want to see if the savings will be worth waiting a year to drive the thing.

What company has the cheapest teen car insurance?

I'm moving out, and I need insurance! But I can't afford my moms plan anymore since of course, moving out in college is expensive. I've ever had an accident, and I make straight As. Who could you recommend?""

How much would insurance be for a 1999 Ford ZX2 Escort?

I'm 17, a boy, and I live in maryland just 5 miles from DC. Im getting my first car next saturday and its gonna be a Black 1999 Ford ZX2 Escort. How much can I expect to pay for insurance? I have a clean driving record. Also, my parents dont have car insurance so they have to start a separate account for me. Thanks!""

CAR INSURANCE COST? 19yrs?

Im female, 19 years old, just got my license, will be driving a chrysler/sebring JXi. Im looking for the cheapest/minimum coverage in Bradenton, Florida.""

How much would motorcycle insurance cost for a 17 year old with a 01 Suzuki Katana 600 in Texas?

I am looking into getting one and want to know how much the insurance would cost.

How much should a family budget for insurance?

disability,life,homeowners,car,umbrella""

How much do you pay for insurance for your car?

How much do you pay for insurance for your car?

AFTER BUYING A CAR..INSURANCE? HELP?

I just bought a car (used). bought from the previous owner. AND NOW IM STUCK....? i dont have my licence yet; i am 18 though. im going to register the car in my name and the title and all that stuff. i also need to do emissions testing. I know i need to do all of that be for i take my drivers test. My thing is with the insurance. The car needs to be ensured for the test. Q: can i get insurance with out a license?

How to find affordable health insurance?

I am an international student in the US, and by law I am required to get health insurance while I am in university. I have been buying from Blue Cross Anthem and the price is getting very unreasonable over the years. The price is close to $1500/year. What company do you suggest me to get cheaper insurance from? Something preferably under $1000.     Insurance Broker must certify that all of the following conditions are met:       * Policy must be in English       * All coverage limits must be in US dollars       * Medical benefits of at least $250,000 for each accident or illness       * Full cost of medical evacuation       * Full cost of repatriation of remains       * Coverage for the entire academic year*       * Minimum 75% coverage for each accident or illness       * No capped benefits e.g. $1,200 per day for hospital room       * Maximum deductible of $100 per condition per plan year       * Maximum out-of-pocket expenses $2,500 or less       * * Must cover pre-existing conditions, with a wait period of no more than six months if attending the full academic year     Thanks in advance.

Should parents pay for their kid's car insurance?

Our 17-soon to be 18-year old daughter has a part time job. She's going to be a senior this year in high school. We gave her a car when she turned 17 and put her on our insurance policy. Her insurance runs us $80/month. We have been paying this for almost a year now. I feel that since she has a job, and has no other financial responsibilities (besides her cell phone), she should be paying this insurance. She is very irresponsible with money, and spends money on a lot of frivolous things. I think having her pay her own insurance each month would help teach her fiscal responsibility. My husband, however, feels that it's the parent's responsibility to pay for their kid's car insurance. What do you think?""

Pregnant with no insurance?

im only 6 1/2 wks pregnant but im a planner. i have no insurance and do not qualify for any government health so we are paying the hospital $200 a month til my baby comes to cover all the ob bills and hospital bills and my 6 wks check up after the birth. my question is......is there a such thing as infant insurance? ive looked all around online and cannot find insurance that will cover a baby til their first birthday. i know that a baby has to go to the dr alot the first year so i'd love for our child to have insurance. my hubbys work does not offer insurance. thanks for your help

Will criminal record ( petty theft) effect my car insurance?

Will criminal record ( petty theft) effect my car insurance? My husband who does my car insurance doesn't know about my pending criminal charges. Will he find out when he will renew my insurance? Or any another consequences? ( I'm stay-at-home mom so I won't be applying for work)

When is the best time to talk to an insurance adjuster?

Someone hit my car and admitted fault while I was looking for a parking spot. The damage to my car was $1500. My gf was injured and goes to the chiropractor 3 times a week. The first day to the chiroprator cost like 400 dollars, and everyday after for treatment cost about 125. They want to treatment for atleast 1 month. The doctor told my gf that she was going to miss 2 weeks off work. The adjust wants to talk to us in one week after the accident. Should I contact a lawyer or no? They want to do a settlement. How much should I expect? They are already paying for the car repair, and car rental (6 days) But my insurance is paying for the doctor visits and stuff. I never been in an accident before that was caused by someone, so I'm not really sure how to deal with an adjuster. As soon as possible or wait till all treatments are done?""

I do not have any health insurance. Where can I find a psychiatrist to talk to in VA that is affordable?

I do not have any health insurance. Where can I find a psychiatrist to talk to in VA that is affordable?

What would be the average pay for car insurance per month?

i am 18 years old and my parents dont want me on there car insurance because they dont want to be liable .what would be the average pay for car insurance per month if i went on my own for the first time?

Would insurance for a small SUV cost much more than insurance for a pickup truck?

I am thinking about buying a used 2WD CRV, or something of that nature. I am wondering if insurance is typically higher on that type of vehicle.""

""Does term life insurance fall under Obamacare and if not, what IS available to provide for my family?""

I have a potentially fatal disease and want to buy term insurance to leave something for my family. I'm hoping this pre-existing condition will not cause me to be denied, but if it would, is there another type I can buy under Obamacare? Thank you.""

Anyone know of affordable health insurance that is not a scam?

im in florida - sunrise

""Reasonable priced car insurance, uk?""

I'm 17 I passed my test in July and have just taken the pass plus course in the hope of decreasing car insurance cost a bit but I'm still getting quotes of like 3k + going all the way to 11k is there any vehicle, type or make, with any insurer that'll give me a reasonable price say 1kish or less?""

I'm 23 and a female. I've never bought car insurance before. Who's cheaper Geico or Progressive?

Is wanting to pay $100 a month unrealistic?

I want a car! what car(s)do you recommend to buy for a new driver?

cars that are new (not broken down second hand cars) and come with cheap car insurance for new drivers please help me!

Any ideas about how much insurance would be for this car?

I'm thinking about buying a Mitsubishi Eclipse soon. My bro has one and i drove it a few times and loved it. My current insurance company charges me $30 per month on a Loaded 2003 Ford Taurus SES. Any idea what they would charge for a sports car like an 02 5 speed manual Eclipse or Eclipse GT? And yes, i realize i could just call my company and ask them, but they dont have 24/7 calling and i don't wanna wait til tomorrow Lol Thanks in advance!""

What do (auto) insurance companies consider as good grades?

Hello, I am a teen driver and im interested in the good grades discount but am curious as to what the minimum is. I have 4 A's , 1 B , and 1 C Do they look at current grades or cumulative grades? I ask because I started the year very poorly with a few C's and a D but brought my average up to what is listed above""

What is the average car insurance for young males with a black box installed?

I'm in the UK and my friend who is 17 who recently passed his test said his car insurance was just over 500 per year, as he had black box installed. (Also, not on his parents insurance either) I've read average figures for car insurance for young males is in the 3000-5000 range. So can the box really bring insurance down that much? I know figures vary for type of car and all that. But we're talking average here. I imagine most young people are not going to be able to afford brand new cars, and will be cost-concious, so will go for older models anyway. So the 3000+ figures still seem incredibly high for an average figure.""

Next step after finding out your being kicked from auto insurance?

My boyfriend was on his parents policy with Met life and has been in 2 MINOR accidents in the last year and they told his dad either my boyfriend goes or everyone under that policy goes and they didn't tell us until a few days ago. Here's the kicker, he will be off the policy the end of the week. Will this make it harder for us to get him insured? How can a car incarnate company do this? He can't work without driving there and he can't drive there without car insurance. I don't know what to do. I currently have State Farm with my parents, would they let us open our own thing together even though we are not even technically engaged yet?""

""How much is PPD rating schedule for %13 lumbar spine discs and knees, If my insurance company was putting me?

on Permanent Disability and my company Laid me out because of my limitation of to work? How much the insurance company has to pay me for my injury and disability?

I'm 20 years old looking to purchase insurance?

I'm looking to purchase life, medical , and short term disability insurance I'm new to this so i need to know the basics what do i need to know before purchasing I'm only 20 years old also if you can leave some tips on what are some good affordable insurance companies i was thinking of purchasing short term disability through Aflec basically i need to know the basics what i should look for how much should i pay average a month please help thank you !""

Can I drive my second car without insurance?

Hi, I bought a second car, the insurance on my first car allows me to drive any other vehicle with the owner's permission. Is it illegal to not insure my second car?""

Do I need insurance to register my car in Illinois?

I just bought a car and wanna get the plates and everything right away. Can I register my car without proof of insurance? Remember its Illinois

Need help finding cheap insurance for a first car?

i'm looking to buy a first car i've been looking at a couple of cars - Mitsubishi colt - VW polo - honda Civic (3door) my mom is willing to go on the policy with me just wanted to know what else i could do for cheaper insurance

How much would insurance be for a 16 year old with a 2008 G6?

Me and my dad went looking for cars and he said that he would buy me a 2008 G6 but I have to pay for insurance, with full coverage. Any idea how much it would be? And if so, where can I get the cheapest insurance.""

HELP will my car insurance replace my cracked windshield?

I have progressive and have comprehensive with a $500 deductible. I have two cracks in my windshield and I cant afford for my insurance to go up or to pay the $500 deductible. My car was sold to me with stickers over the cracks and when we went back they claimed I had done it and wouldnt fix it. I read thriugh my policy and it said if you pay the premium for this coverage we will pay for blah blah blah and it fits my situation but im not really aure what that means. They dont teach you actual life skills in school. Please help!

Can switching to geico really save you 15% or more on care insurance?

...............

What should an 18-21 year old pay for motorcycle insurance? liability only?

if i were to get a motorcycle i would have to pay the insurance and i would like to know the cheapest but smartest way to do it.

How to find affordable health insurance?

I am an international student in the US, and by law I am required to get health insurance while I am in university. I have been buying from Blue Cross Anthem and the price is getting very unreasonable over the years. The price is close to $1500/year. What company do you suggest me to get cheaper insurance from? Something preferably under $1000.     Insurance Broker must certify that all of the following conditions are met:       * Policy must be in English       * All coverage limits must be in US dollars       * Medical benefits of at least $250,000 for each accident or illness       * Full cost of medical evacuation       * Full cost of repatriation of remains       * Coverage for the entire academic year*       * Minimum 75% coverage for each accident or illness       * No capped benefits e.g. $1,200 per day for hospital room       * Maximum deductible of $100 per condition per plan year       * Maximum out-of-pocket expenses $2,500 or less       * * Must cover pre-existing conditions, with a wait period of no more than six months if attending the full academic year     Thanks in advance.

""HELP, car insurance!?""

I am 15, going on 16, and I am looking into a Vauxhall Astra 1.6i 16V SXi 3dr Sport Hatch for around 4000. It's a car that is nice, but I could easily afford it due to my savings and work etc. I was wondering, when I am 17, how much would it cost me to insure the car at its cheapest?! This is an example of the car: http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201124390942785/sort/priceasc/usedcars/quantity-of-doors/3/body-type/hatchback/maximum-age/up_to_7_years_old/model/astra/make/vauxhall/radius/1501/postcode/bd181nt/keywords/sport%20hatch/page/1?logcode=p I am looking into this early so that I get a head start and can get everything sorted as soon as I'm legally aloud to drive. How much would it be to insure the car for a 17 year old male living in Bradford? Any help is appreciated, thank you!""

One Day Rental Car Question?

I'm about to rent a car for one day travel for the first time ever but I have some questions. 1. They give me these options for insurance, but what's the difference and ...show more""

How much woul i pay for auto insurance on 2007 Hyundai Tiburon?

V6 2 door coupe. Im 18. 2 tickets, 1 for running a red light. Other was a car accident, 9000$ cost to insurance on property damage. No injuries, or if anybody owns one let me kno hoe ...show more""

How do you get temporary insurance?

I need insurance just for one diagnosis and possible surgery. Is there any way I can get temporary insurance? How much is it and what do I need to do to get it??

Cheap car insurance I mean cheap?

Just passed my test and found insurance is massive, I need some kinda voucher or something to get to insure my car. Any ideas. UK ONLY""

""My friend has been driving for twenty years so many as taxi driver, he cant get cheap insurance?""

why can't he get cheap insurance for being an experienced driver. same as for example myself driving for 19 years no convictions or claims,only down fall being a named driver on spouses insurance. i know to get the no claims bonus i have to get insurance in my name. but wow what a fair wack, for being a careful and honest driver all these years.any info would be appreciated.i think it unfair that we should pay the same as a new and young driver with no experience. many thanx for any help""

I need insurance. Im 18 What do I do?

I turned 18 about 4 months ago and ive been trying to get my licence but my mom won't let me because she thinks I need to be insured as soon as i get my licence. I live in OR. they can't afford my insurrance and i dont have time for a job im an honors student in High school. next year im going away and would like to be driving by then. so my questions are. 1. do i need insurance as soon as i get my license? 2. can i drive my moms car (for example to the store and back) without insurance? How about someone elses car? 3. What is the best insurance for me to get? The quotes ive gotten are about 250 PER MONTH. I want to have a car next year but i wont have time to work with the courses im taking in college. how do i pay for my insurance next year.

How much will my Car insurance go up?

I hit a car in Los Angeles and I have State Farm. The guy I hit drives a range rover and all I did was scratch his driver's side door. The body shop wants $1200 to repaint the door, which I think is insane. I would pay cash, but $1200 is a lot of money. Does State Farm have accident forgiveness, or will my premium go up if I claim this on my insurance?""

*****Why is its called Life Insurance?*****?

If I can only get if I'm Dead? And then someone else is spending my money!

Paying for car insurance I don' need while being oversees?

I plan an extended overseas travel this summer (lasting about 3-4 months). During this time, I will not be using my car in the U.S. I simply will lock it in a garage. I'd like to know how I can avoid paying for my car insurance (or lower my insurance bill) during this time. I understand that I can simply return my plates and drop the insurance before leaving but then upon my arrival back to the U.S. I will be with no insurance at all, and will need to get a new one (this will not happen instantly). Is there an option or insurance company that serves people who are away from the U.S. but who want to get covered when they return right away?""

Car insurance more expensive for younger drivers?

In the UK we have a little piece of legislation under the European Convention on Human Rights, which gives us freedom from discrimination. I know that a lot of young drivers are inexperienced and more eager on the roads, but what about the careful ones? Is it not a form of stereotypical discrimination for car insurance companies to charge more for younger drivers, and older ones for that matter?""

Why are our insurance rates going to go up again?

When Obama pushed his Affordable Care Act, he said that insurance premiums for families would go down. Last year mine went up. Now that the plan will be put in place fully next ...show more""

Should I get liability or full coverage on my car?

I have a 2002 Pontiac Grand Prix SE with 157,000 on it. I did the KBB value and got $3400 for private party and $2200 for trade in but I'm not sure how accurate that is or how much I'd get from insurance in the case of a collision. I paid $4200 for it in 2009 when it was marked at $6200. Of course, I don't owe anything on it. I've been on my mom's car insurance (I'm 21) up until now but I recently moved out and need to get my own policy. Unfortunately, I don't have the greatest driving record; I had a rough first year of driving in 2007/2008 and I'm still paying for it. I've been paying $180/month for full coverage with Allstate. I got quotes from other companies and I found one (AIA, a local insurance company) that offered me liability insurance for $100 down and $100 a month for 10 months. The next lowest I found was $145/month with Progressive. With AIA, I can get full coverage for $222 down and $190 a month. I haven't had an accident since 2008, and I'm confident about my driving skills, but I don't want to screw myself over. I don't have $3400, or even $2200, to buy a new car if something happened to this one. However, my car is 9 years old, so I don't know if it's even worth it. What should I do?""

What are some sample average monthly health insurance payments for a 25-year-old male?

If that's not enough information, make any assumptions necessary.""

Is auto insurance cheaper for trucks?

I have a turbocharged hatchback now, thinking about upgrading to a larger vehicle.""

Cheapest Auto insurance?

Cheapest Auto insurance?

""Car accident, driving record & Insurance?""

If car accident happended and insurance covered the damage, but at-fault violation is kept off the driving record with help of being first offender, then will it still affect car insurance rate even if switching previous insurance company to other? Do insurance companies share their custmer drivers' information?""

Car insurance help...please?

im 17 and im about to get a car from a friend but i wanted to know if my mom can just add the car to her insurance and not say anything about me driving it. then i can drive it and the car will still be insured right? thats basically what im doing right now anyway. i have my permit and im driving my mom's car to practice in, but the insurance company doesnt know that. my friend has his liscense and his parents gave him his own car, but the insurance company doesnt know hes driving it. if he got into an accident, wouldnt his parents insurance cover it since the car is in their name?""

Does anyone know what a UWD guidline for home owners insurance means ?

Does anyone know what a UWD guidline for home owners insurance means ?

How much will insurance be on an R6?

So, i'm 19 and have had my full motorcycle license for a few months now however I can't seem to find any insurance quotes online for an r6 below 2800 a year. Now i've seen 18 year olds online who own an r6 yet am wondering what I should do to reduce this cost to something more realistic. I have a full car license and drive a car however 0 no claims bonus as I am a named passenger. I also specify that the bike would be locked in a garage with added security features. I also owned and rode a 250cc ninja for about 7months but still this ridiculous price appears... HELPPS?""

""Looking for a cheap new car (2010-2013) with good fuel economy yet sporty and cheap to insure, any ideas?""

I'm a 19 year old male so insurance pretty much sucks. I'm looking for either a new or used car that is cheap both to buy and insure, but is also sporty and fun to drive, and good on gas. Anybody have any ideas?""

Car Insurance For A 17 Year Old Male?

I'm 17 and starting to drive and thinking about getting a car later on when I pass, but I'm sure insurance and fuel costs are going to kill me! Can I get some advice and maybe a rough guide to how much insurance will be? I'm thinking of getting a VW Golf Mk1 or Mk2, or a Peugeot 106 Escapade. Could you also tell me if modifying the interior will affect insurance along with resprays and lowering the vehicle. Thank you""

I'm added to my parents car insurance policy. . .?

I'm added to my parents car insurance policy. But the insurance card (the copy of insurance you keep in the glove box) don't have my name on it. Is this normal for insurance ...show more

Health insurance for college student?

I'm currently a full time college student at 19 years old and looking for affordable decent health insurance. I don't work right now either and am still paying off a 2k dental bill with the money i had... (sigh) any good plans? (im in southern california by the way)

Does anyone know where i could get a car for my driving test? I need insurance as well. I am 16 years old?

I am going to go get my licence. I am 16 years old in California. The problem is, i don't have a car. Please don't ask me what i'm going to do with my licence if i dont have a car (it's a long story). I need a car i can take with me to do my road test. The DMV also needs proof of insurance. Please tell me where i could get a car and get the proof of insurance. Thanks!!!!!!!!""

How to find affordable health insurance?

I am an international student in the US, and by law I am required to get health insurance while I am in university. I have been buying from Blue Cross Anthem and the price is getting very unreasonable over the years. The price is close to $1500/year. What company do you suggest me to get cheaper insurance from? Something preferably under $1000.     Insurance Broker must certify that all of the following conditions are met:       * Policy must be in English       * All coverage limits must be in US dollars       * Medical benefits of at least $250,000 for each accident or illness       * Full cost of medical evacuation       * Full cost of repatriation of remains       * Coverage for the entire academic year*       * Minimum 75% coverage for each accident or illness       * No capped benefits e.g. $1,200 per day for hospital room       * Maximum deductible of $100 per condition per plan year       * Maximum out-of-pocket expenses $2,500 or less       * * Must cover pre-existing conditions, with a wait period of no more than six months if attending the full academic year     Thanks in advance.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/best-car-cheap-insurance-new-drivers-landon-yates/"

[dungeonmasterpoisonbite]

Wednesday Friendsday Mission Logs: Goblins in Suburbia

Keeper Representative #298:

Interparty Communication Hub Rules

1-no explicit nsfw content such as overtly explicit text or imagery

2-more rules will be added as the need arises

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: jevens.

🚐Jevans🎷: thats jevans mate

whats up?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: i have a mix CD. Can i bring it?

🚐Jevans🎷: depends

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: on what?

🚐Jevans🎷: whats on it?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: you know. Good music.

-posts link to bass boosted "Down Under" by Men At Work (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wC-dS7JmCbY)

🚐Jevans🎷: is there anything else but that song on it?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: absolutely not

🚐Jevans🎷: good

oh oh

El 🐍: do you mean you have twelve to fourteen of the same song on one CD?

🚐Jevans🎷: im pickin you up first sweets

El 🐍: also, um, Mr. Evans? Is it okay to bring food in your car?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: B]

🚐Jevans🎷: so long as theres enough for your driver

El 🐍: okay, well. I'm not sure but my sister ordered Chinese food. She may finish it before you get here, though. Would you like the fortune cookie?

👊Dee Foster thats the best part though el!!!!!

El 🐍: they gave us two... I was thinking he could have mine.

Jev: sure ill polish yer leftovers

👊Dee Foster BUT

fine he can have it -frowny imp emoji-

El 🐍: did....did you want them both?

🚐Jevans🎷: hey dee can have it

i read the docs and dont want her mad at me

👊Dee Foster NO you have it L.O.L.

i was only teasing!!!!

-XD emoji-

🚐Jevans🎷: alright hahahahsdfsdaf

oops

El 🐍: Mr. Evans, would you like any of this ma po tofu?

🚐Jevans🎷: only if yer not eatin eat

its ahrd to eat when im driving with passengers

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: are you texting whilst driving??

El 🐍: are you implying our driver would break the law???

🚐Jevans🎷: hahahaha

👊Dee Foster O.M.G. he better not be!!!!

🚐Jevans🎷: HAHAH

El 🐍: :\

🚐Jevans🎷: absolutely not

speech-to-text mates

Nelherin: that can still be distracting!!

El 🐍: Wow your dictation software must be very advanced to know to capitalize your laughter with emphasis!

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: magic SIRI

El 🐍: oh my gosh, if Mr. Evans has a magic phone, i want one.

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : is it okay with everyone if i photo document our adventures?

🚐Jevans🎷: this is expensive hardware, you gotta work a long time to get it

but all in good time El

and so long as you dont flash in the vehicle sure

El 🐍: I mean, i've got an iPhone, but it isn't magic.

Nelherin, I'm fine with that, as long as you don't make them available publicly online. Last semester one of my students posted a picture of me on Facebook and tagged it "That Weird Nerd" and I thought that was really unkind.

👊Dee Foster WHAT!!!! YOU DIDNT TELL ME THAT!!!! WHO WAS IT!!!! WAIT IM IN THE ROOM WITH YOU

El 🐍: It was super unflattering too. :(

👊Dee Foster -three red angry emojis-

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : i won't release them publicly! I think that might get me in trouble with the keepers, hah...

El 🐍: okay, that's fine! If you tag me, please tag me as EL SHRIVER.

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: i have stickers

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : okay!

What kind of stickers?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: stickers for a scrapbook

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : oh i love scrapbooking!

Maybe i could photodocumennt with a scrapbook!

El 🐍: I have stickers for coding my planner! There are different ones for meetings, classes, study sessions, and even a little cup of coffee! I'm coding these missions as "gym" so that Dee thinks I'm exercising.

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: well now she knows

El 🐍: Oh shoot.

🚐Jevans🎷: no one tell el they can delete messages

El 🐍: Oh this isn't a static record of our communications?

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : you just told them by saying that??

jevans; well yeah im the cool driver

and no el its not static

El 🐍: Well. I still think we should be keeping some record of what we do and if I just go back and edit what I say, that's like changing history.

🚐Jevans🎷: you could hop over to Keeper Chat and bug 298

👊Dee Foster HEY!!!! I JUST SAW THAT!!!

🚐Jevans🎷: they could prolly change it for you

👊Dee Foster next time i go to the gym youre going with me el!!!!

El 🐍: oh... oh boy.

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : do you think the keepers would be okay with it if i photo document our adventures?

🚐Jevans🎷: dunno

i mean

i snap all the time

no ones said nothin yet

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : in my experience, if anything... strange shows up in pictures, most people usually assume its just photo editing and sfx makeup, so i don't think there should be a problem? But i don't wanna get in trouble!!

🚐Jevans🎷: i dont think theyd mind

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : okay!! i dont think anyone outside of this group will be seeing most of the pictures, but i wanna be safe just in case!!

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: jevens do you have snapchat

🚐Jevans🎷: yee

note

that statement is a BITCH to get speech-to-text to get properly

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : did you have to spell it out??

🚐Jevans🎷: nah i gotta say it like just right

like if i go too much towards yeah itll get that instead

but yeah doesnt have the right spirit yaknow?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: incredible

avery: so like is this the chat or whatever?

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : yep!!

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: hi miss avery

its me, the green one

avery: am i supposed to talk to you guys

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : if you want to!!

avery: um

hey

who are you

El 🐍: Nice to meet you, Avery! The dossier says you're a student?

Avery: who are any of you

yea i guess

i'm in high shook

school whatever

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: im sweet. Sweet ghoulman. We've met. With the wizard?

👊Dee Foster O.M.G. hello!!!!

avery: oh you're the creepy guy

cool i guess

hi?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: oh, thank you.

El 🐍: ... that isn't very nice. :\

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : why is sweets creepy

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: nelherin you havent met me yet

avery: wait if you're in this chat im gonna have to like. Interact with you

yikes

i guess i'm not very nice

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : uhm, you're free to call me henri instead if you wish

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: miss avery we're on this mission together

avery: just avery's fine dude

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: avery we're on this mission together, you have my condolences

but i made a mix cd so it should be fine

El 🐍: I feel like this is an inappropriate use of the word "mix."

🚐Jevans🎷: shhhhhh

itll be a surprise el

unless avery reads from the start

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : i agree with el...

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: only jevans understands me

🚐Jevans🎷: but i dont think avery has that much interest in seeing what weve talked about

El 🐍: thank you! Henri? May I call you Henri?

🚐Jevans🎷: sweets want my snapchat?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: jevens can i have your #

yes absolutely

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : you can!

Avery: wait we're allowed to have snap chats?

🚐Jevans🎷: alright buddy ill shoot it at you privately mate

avery: dammnit i deleted mine

🚐Jevans🎷: oops

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: B]

avery: can i curse here

🚐Jevans🎷: what kind of curse????

avery: is that allowed or whatever

like can i say fuck

🚐Jevans🎷: cuz like i know yer a wizard-ankle-biter

oh ye

fucking say fucking fuck as many fucking times as you fucking want

avery: literally the fuck now i have to make a new snapchat

god fucking damnit

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: B O

👊Dee Foster -BO emoji-

🚐Jevans🎷: sweets i read that as bow and thought odd but afreed

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: B0

avery: oh not emojis

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : what's wrong with emojis??

avery: come on y'all are older than me right

👊Dee Foster -frowny imp emoji- WHATS WRONG WITH EMOJIS????

🚐Jevans🎷: that one is slightly less bow

like a quieter bow

soft bow

avery: just childish

🚐Jevans🎷: avery yer like 12 chill

avery: but if you wanna play it that way then be my guest

El 🐍: I read it as B.O. and was hoping I wouldn't be the only odd-smelling person on the trip...

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : but emojis are fun

👊Dee Foster -worried emoji, anguished emoji, frowning emoji-

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: emojis... are timeless

youll be in good company el

🚐Jevans🎷: except for -watch emoji-

avery: bad joke jevans

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : i thought it was funny!!

El 🐍: L O L

👊Dee Foster L.O.L.!!!!

🚐Jevans🎷: eeeeeeeeeh henri can sit in the front

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : yay!! :D

avery: can i bring my headphones to wherever we're going

🚐Jevans🎷: -another different watch emoji-

sure mate

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: jevens is great

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : jevans, will you be picking anyone up soon??

🚐Jevans🎷: OH SHIT

right yeah

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : ...

🚐Jevans🎷: ill be-CALCULATING

fuckin gps

avery: who're you getting first

🚐Jevans🎷: uuuuuuh

right sweets

okay sweets im gonna be like swinging by you gotta hop in through the window

not comin to a full stop either you gotta just jump in

El 🐍: WHAT???

avery: UM WHAT

LIKE FOR ALL OF US

👊Dee Foster CAN I DO THAT TOO!!!!!

Avery: wait a fcking second im a fucking vampire

never fucking mind my caps lock

El 🐍: DON'T ENCOURAGE DEE TO DO THAT

👊Dee Foster -flexing arm emoji followed by mischievious imp emoji-

🚐Jevans🎷: nah only sweets

if i run sweets over hell be okay

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: thanks

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : uhm....

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: im flexible. Roll down the passenger window

👊Dee Foster IM NOT GETTING IN THE CAR UNLESS ITS THAT WAY

🚐Jevans🎷: didnt you guys get the psych profiles and background check documentaion?

Avery: the what

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : no??

dee, you might get hurt

El 🐍: I read them all very thoroughly

avery: will there be a test on that

El 🐍: Don't worry! I have an annotated copy!

Avery: or um anything actually

oh. gee. How exciting. Thanks

El 🐍: Will there be a test?? : D

👊Dee Foster O.M.G. I WANT TO THOUGH

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : i'm a little bit scared...

🚐Jevans🎷: okay sweets

like five minutes

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: jevens just snapchatted me a picture of a rolled down suv window

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : does your car accomidate tall people??

El 🐍: not a concern for us! : D

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : it is for me

El 🐍: Yes, I know.

Avery: how tall

like 6'0"?

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : exactly

avery: whatever i'm like 5'6"

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : ... am i the tallest one??

🚐Jevans🎷: okay one down

okay

henri youre next

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: i landed a little bit on the stick. Its fine i dont bruise

🚐Jevans🎷: ill stop properly

SNERK

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : okay!!

El 🐍: Are the doors locked?

🚐Jevans🎷: not when I stop

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : this music is... strange

El 🐍: Oh, man, someone down the street has a really intense subwoofer situation.

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: thanks

👊Dee Foster I MEANT IT WHEN I SAID I WANTED TO JUMP IN!!!!!!

avery: what music

are y'all near each other

🚐Jevans🎷: dont worry avery

youre the furthest out

might be a bit before we can get you

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: youll hear it soon miss avery

avery

🚐Jevans🎷: but dee and el, ill be there in a mo

avery: of course i'm the last one. Of fucking course

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: move into town avery

avery: couldn't have gotten me first huh?

El 🐍: Oh okay. Never mind about that subwoofer thing.

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: B]

avery: am i the only one left

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: MADE IT!!!!

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: you'll hear us coming

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : dee landed on the floor!!

avery: are y'all like in the city city? It's gonna be fucking while before me then

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: we are going very fast though

almost inadvisably fast

🚐Jevans🎷: yeah were looking at like thirty mins or so?

👊Dee Foster avery do you want something from 7/11!!!!

avery: dr pepper

and a honey bun

👊Dee Foster good choices!

🚐Jevans🎷: nvm were gettin you first avery give us five mins

LATER AT THE 7/11

🚐Jevans🎷: i want a six pack of something!

Hey

heeeeeeeeeeey

someone get me something

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: jevens what can i get you

jman

juice

🚐Jevans🎷: nah not juice

like

oh

six redbulls

or something like that

i got twenty bucks

[subjectsilver]

my psyche and wormy be ruthless sometimes.

originally i told myself that i was only going to use tumblr every sunday to log what has happened throughout the week or anything noticeable or note worthy but i literally need to type this right now because I'm losing my goddamn mind and on the verge of a panic attack...i can feel my chest tightening and my heart has such a “funny” feeling that isn't so funny so idk why they call it that... its like a light feeling like when u get light headed - i feel light hearted rn

the absolute worst part about my depression is that it literally just comes and goes whenever it wants. obviously theres things that help trigger it, a song a picture of my ex friends snapchats, any object that i can play connect the dots with back to a single thought that can disrupt my entire mental.

and it hit me tonight and it hit me hard and tonight I'm trying not to run away from it. I'm not going to go smoke cigarettes and listen to music until 5 am I'm trying to just type what is going on instead of like holding it into my head. or type something at least. the thing about it is that whenever it hits me, i always find a way to make it so much worse.... like i see just the right combination of words or objects to sink me or look at pictures of emma and even though i know its hurting me i continue to do it anyway....maybe its because in that moment I'm actually feeling something, she is making me feel something just like she use to in the past. i really valued that until i became too grey and numb and hopeless.

i feel like throwing up

i used “ex” up there and  makes me feel really uneasy i haven't used it very much at all mainly because i have to explain myself to anyone here and I've only told a few people what is going on with me. That was good thought because i have a friend named hank who went through some shit too so he kind of connects with me but still not a person i would talk to about shit...i don't really have anyone for that so i don't really know... sometimes i type it all and erase it, sometimes i make songs, sometimes i say it out laid sometimes i just cry.

i started taking prozac 3 days ago this will be the fourth, so hopefully that'll help  me. Im still underweight as fuck but oddly I'm comfortable with it bc i like the way my shirts feel and clothes fit, unfortunately i need to gain like 20 pounds if i want to exist on this soccer team which is kinda mad. I was going to suggest leaving wake because i don't really even care to play soccer rn. and i realized a while back that all i needed was in ohio... like i had the best friends the girl of my dreams and i could've had a 1st year internship paying between 40-70k at some health company under my step dad... its kinda shitty because its something i wanted to tell everyone and i would always think about how disappointed my dad would be and how supportive my mom would be but something told me not do make moves with any of it. its like the universe knew i was going to go through some shit. like it knew i was gonna get low and the perfect image of life i had in my head up. like bitch u thought you'd plant roots,,,nahhhhhhtttt  

i keep listening to this song on repeat

https://soundcloud.com/yvpoipoi/maxence-cyrin-where-is-my-mind

but the real is back the ville is back

i fucking hated listening to cole until like 2 weeks ago. it was so annoying listening to cole bc of hani playing it literally all the time. when things like that get annoying they because white noise to me. but recently i went through his 3 most recent projects and actually listened heavily to the words and that shit is crazy.

i also have been paying a lot of attention to jay z and beyonce. i guess jay z had an affair or some shit and ten he and “once” went back and forth on songs about it... but i read this quote by him where he was like “our relationship was built on top of lies, and i had to tear it down and build it back up again and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.” thats the kind of shit that gives me hope in the world of relationships. I've accepted that its probably false hope but ill hold onto anything the keeps me going at this point...

my suicidal thoughts haven't been present the last few days but i never know if and when those will come back. to be truthful I've been stacking up on things in my camera roll that give me up for when I'm feeling low.

the light hearted feeling has subsided, i just realized it. i kinda of ignore all grammatical practices when i write freely. i just go with my own language because i feel like its more personal ya know. someone i know annotates her own letters that she use to write me and i always loved that shit because i have so many side thoughts when i write as well.

luke christophers album finally came out and what do you know 5 of the songs had already been released and some like a year ago so its barely anything knew but it still has new music and bangers so i do appreciate the legend himself. after seeing his hair blonde on the cover idk if I'm going to keep growing my hair black or re-dye it. maybe ill keep it blonde until i feel like I'm above 80% better or something  right now i feel about -7% (if i could annotate that line id tell you that i originally wrote -7 person instead of percent then i autocorrected person then backspaced it to a symbol) 

the last few days I've felt really weak though and I've been sleeping a lot like two days ago i got like 11 hours and yesterday i got like 10 and I've been taking naps during the day. but I've constantly felt like I've had low blood sugar or that I've been dehydrated or something. i can't even make a fist and squeeze that hard.

its crazy because when i type anything about myself ever i just start tearing up for no reason...happy thoughts sad thoughts dark thoughts i could be writing about my microwave and be tearing up. and i do it a lot with emma or my best friends or my ex and ex best friends idk what anyone is to me anymore. been too focussed on trying to survive, which i feel is the correct selfish thing to do for once.

“don't give a fuck and they love you do give a fuck and they hate you - I'm always gone be there for you”

this man luke in onto something

its crazy that i will leave my phone in my room from 7:30 am to 7-8 at night and the only notification that ill get is “your phone hasn't been backed up in 57 weeks” or some shit like that. occasionally ill receive a random text from someone but its funny because sometimes on the inside ill be screaming like “PLEASE SOMEONE TALK TO ME” and then it happens and its like nah.. i thought i sent out an amber alert but really I'm sending out a batman bat symbol. i thought i needed anyone to talk to, but in reality i just need one singular person to talk to. that was my mistake, will always be my mistake but at least i recognize it now...just a little late there big guy.

having so much time to myself probably too much time to myself is really interesting...if you've ever thought that you've done real reflection, submerge yourself in complete loneliness and isolation and try again because its so much deeper. you think about everything. every individual relationship, every right every wrong multiple perspectives. you think about all of your problems and the root to your problems.  all of your mistakes why u caused these mistakes or what caused these mistakes. its actually really shitty because the bad will always stick out more than the good because the good is what is suppose to happen and the bad is the variable...variables get more attention than the constants i feel. deep down i don't think I'm a shitty human being.. even though i might think that a lot or hate myself...ik I'm only human and i can't be perfect and as much as id love for everyone to love me and me to not hurt anyone its more than likely unrealistic and it'll happen to me and already has happened to me and now i understand that and i will be more forgiving as i go on in life, the same forgiveness id want people to give me.

i use to think that everything had to work in reciprocality like for some reason i always thought everything should be equal all of the time..but i was extremely wrong, some people need more some people need less some people expect things and if they mean anything to you, the extra effort should hinder you or disrupt you...every human has a different way of looking at relationships and when those ways collide and don't add up it creates problem. I'm not saying people should give up in what they believe in but people should be less harsh about it... i know people who should be less harsh on me and i know people that i will be less harsh on and who i would be less harsh on if i could go back in time.

i tried to think about why I'm so afraid of butterflies and i can't really think of what happened along the way that got me here but i think the very root is the movie “butterfly effect” I'm also pretty sure they are remaking that movie into a 2018 version and ill probably go scare the fuck out of myself while seeing it.

my anxiety was gone until thinking about butterflies 

i tried to explain a fear of butterflies to this kid named mike and i sounded like an absolute idiot and then his response was “does this scare you” and it was the close up of a butterfly from this spongebob episode and i can't get it out of my head.... i think the video is called “wormy close up”

 fuck wormy

usually id think something so symmetrical was beautiful seeing has my old tendencies make me love symmetrically and i do things in that way like when i touch my feet to surfaces and shit bc i feel all neat and organized but i don't like that every butterfly ever is symmetrical as fuck...like show why what the hell. and i want to watch a video on it but i don't want to go into shock or some shit.

and they have wings that flap which is what i hate about bugs in general.

to be fair though i do like butterflies that have bright blue or white wings cus i use to see those a lot as a kid when my backyard was a golf course. but my vision of a butterfly with like brown wings and black borders gahhhh fuck that....id weather let a centipede crawl on me from head to toe than a butterfly land on me to put in in perspective. 

idk man i think this post has done for me what i thought it would do what i intended it to do...i have to be up in like 3 and a half wish hours then run for an hour then ill take a solid nap for like 5 hours or just sleep pt.2 but i must be going... until next time or sunday.

i love you

fuck wormy

goodnight