#so now you have to suffer with me

[pigeonsareevil]

You know, sometimes i wonder, what if the Marstons named their daughter something relating to Arthur? Like Morgan or something?

It sure woudve added to the pain of her passing, being reminded of your best friends/brothers tragic end

Perhaps that would be the final nail in the coffinn of them, not mentioning either of them in the first game?

[cantuscorvi]

POV the man holding you hostage is like. extremely fruity about it

[capybaraonabicycle]

Impossible Women

A theory or headcanon or call it a fic if you want - about what happened to the astronaut of Lake Silencio after the deed was done (yes, this is angsty; you were warned in the subtitle)

Halfway back into the lake River realises that the suit is about to shut down. It takes a while to grasp the full meaning of that as she is quite shaken up - having just shot the Doctor who is suddenly also her husband now in an alternative timeline because she broke time and maybe he isn't dead but who knows if that is actually true or she is halluzinating by now and she really needs a long sleep and time to think this all over - but then she realises that a) a shut down suit means her air will run out BUT b) it also means she will be able to move of her own accord again BUT c) the heavy suit will keep her at the bottom of the lake rendered useless and she has to get out asap if she wants to survive.

So she does just that, forces herself out of the suit by pure unbending Pond-Williams-willpower like she did as a child, uses her respiratory bypass to not choke in the meantime and swims up to the surface. She looks back to see whether older-her will shoot at her again but everybody on shore is too busy mourning the Doctor to notice her. She knows it will not stay that way. They will hunt her - whoever 'they' are, be it the Silence, the time agents, or the Judoon - sooner rather than later. She has just killed the Doctor, at least that is what the universe has to believe. She cannot go back to Luna, they would imprison her immediately. She can't go anywhere. And yes, she realises that she probably has to go to prison to completely sell the lie, to save her Doctor. But by hell will she not go willingly. She will run, as far and as fast as she can.

She sets out to swim to shore and start on the running, when out of nowhere a hand appears, almost punching her in the face. It belongs to a young, brunette woman with impossibly large eyes and is reached out as if to help her.

"Grab on" the woman whispers and River does what any confused, sapphic woman would do in this situation: she takes the hand. As soon as she does, the background behind the woman wobbles and twists like a curtain is pulled back and then River can see a diner swimming on the lake, the woman kneeling in the entrance door.

"This will not be huge on dignity" the woman warns, attempting to pull River into the diner.

River, however, has gathered herself enough by now to wave her off and tell her to stay back. Then she heaves herself into the diner - rather gracefully if she says so herself. The other woman seems impressed and River lets her know it'll take more than some kidnapping, manipulating, time breaking and loss of her husband to render her incapable of handling herself and that she feels she is still more than able to defeat the other woman and any of her associates should they have come to take her to prison.

"We're friends of the Doctor's" the woman reassures her. "We know him in the future. I am Clara. Come along, I will introduce you to Ash."

The diner turns out to be a TARDIS and Ash - or Ashildr - turns out to be a rubbish pilot. The Doctor is nowhere to be seen but River understood on entering that this was not their TARDIS, so she didn't really expect him to.

"Where is the Doctor?" she asks once she has taken over from Ashildr and is flying them into the time vortex.

"We don't travel with him anymore" Clara says. She is eyeing River's maneuvers critically but doesn't complain. "But we knew him after his time with you."

"So he does have a future" River murmurs, hoping the two others don't notice her small sigh of relief.

"He does" Clara agrees. "You didn't shoot him back there. Only the teselecta."

River doesn't understand what they want from her then, why they have come for her. When she voices that, Clara smiles brightly.

"We just wanted to offer you a lift" she explains. "And ask you to stay with us. They will be looking for you all over the universe, in all time zones. You just killed the Doctor. Everyone everywhere and everywhen will be hunting for you. If you want to run, a TARDIS might come in handy."

"And nevertheless you want me on your team?" River asks, incredulous. Clara nods vigorously but Ashildr doesn't seem that taken with River. She is very quiet, keeping to the back. It seems like she is going along with this only for Clara's sake.

"As I said, we are friends of the Doctor's" Clara repeats. "And you're his wife. Of course we want to help you out. What do you say?"

River would never pass on the opportunity to travel in her own TARDIS with two badass women and she tells them so. The fact that she has no other place to go, either, hangs between them unspoken.

River enjoys travelling with Clara and Ashildr immediately. She does not like them at first but it is convenient and it is fun and definitely better than rotting away in prison.

She does not like Ashildr because Ashildr doesn't like anyone herself - except for Clara perhaps and she likes to show that. That makes it difficult to get closer to her. River doesn't mind, they can live together just as well without caring for another.

She does not like Clara because that woman is positively insane and annoyingly righteous in spite of it. It takes her about a day to understand that Clara is not the goody two-shoes bubbly princess she tries to present herself as and a few more to understand just how unhinged the woman is. And yet she has that annoying entitlement of a 'good person' complete with the stubborn insistence on telling people River has threatened with a gruesome deaths that River 'didn't mean it that way'. As if you would pronounce death threats to strangers without meaning them.

Clara is a very good kisser, though and River has to admit it is intriguing to see what madness she will come up with next. She assumes the feeling is mutual. They bicker and they fight and they aggressively make out after and about a month in, River is head over heels for her. She assumes that feeling is mutual as well.

What is surprising is how much Clara wants to talk about the Doctor, how often she asks her about him. Not just about their relationship or their time together. Even things as banal as how he performs certain mannerisms or how he takes his tea intrigue her. And she speaks of him solely in the past. It is almost as if she is talking about a fictional being, a mystical creature. As if she didn't know him at all. Sometimes River wonders whether they told her the truth and are really friends with the Doctor or whether this is some kind of weird, pointless charade.

"Do you want to know why she always asks about the Doctor?" Ashildr appears one night in her door, alone, wearing that same, just slightly detached expression she often sports. When River confirms, she leads her away to a room deep in the TARDIS.

It is a study, filled to the brim with manuscripts and paintings and drawings - many of the Doctor. It doesn't look much different to her office at Luna.

"This is her memory" Ashildr answers to River's silent question. "I used to have one, too, myself, at least I think I did. I can't be too certain."

"I don't understand" River admits.

"Clara is well over 200 now" Ashildr explains. "And I don't even know how old I am."

"Well, you're looking good" River tries to lighten the mood but of course it fails.

"Spare me the flirting" Ashildr huffs. "We are immortal but we have human brains. In Clara's case a dead human brain. We can't retain memory forever."

"So she tries to put it all down" River understands, running her hand over a painting of the Doctor. There is another man on the canvas next to him, older, gray curls, impressive eyebrows. She briefly wonders if he was another companion, she thinks she sees him on several of the drawings, too. "Catalogue him, study him. So she won't forget."

"You know why we picked you up that day?" Ashildr asks and River takes the question as silent confirmation. "We went to one of your tutorials for Professor Summerfield's lecture on the Doctor. When Clara found out such a study existed she immediately wanted to go. We snuck in, sat in the back. I think Clara just wanted to test her memory and find out mistakes in your approach. Feel like she still knew him better. Only halfway through she realised who you were."

River raises an eyebrow.

"Of course she knew you" Ashildr explains. "She met you, actually, there is a whole volume on you somewhere on that shelf over there. To be honest she is giving your hair too much credit in it, it is not that impressive."

"Must be in my future" River murmurs. "I don't remember meeting her before. Or you."

"Well, she didn't remember you either, had completely forgotten about you" Ashildr shrugs. "But when we were back in the TARDIS she pulled out that book and then we did some research. Found out the best possibility to pick you out of your time stream. So here we are."

"Clara sneakily employed me as a teacher on the Doctor under the guise of helping me escape?" River summarises with an incredulous laugh. "The audacity!"

"Only it won't work" Ashildr says. "Not in the long run. She can repeat the memories as much as she wants, that just hollows them out. And one day she will realise that she doesn't remember the important part. How exactly his voice sounded, the exact way he smiled. She will have a bunch of cold images and empty data and borrowed stories from you. Without new memories the old ones just fade. Trust me. I know what I am talking about."

River is tempted to say she is sorry but she knows better and bites her tongue.

"And the moment she realises that" Ashildr heaves a sigh and River is surprised by the display of emotion, "she will go back to Gallifrey and reinsert herself into her timeline. Clara will not risk forgetting the Doctor competely - she has fought too hard and she is too stubborn and she loves him too much to let that happen."

She looks onto the canvas with the grey haired man, her mouth a bitter line. "The universe gave me someone I could bear eternity with and she won't stay with me."

"I know this doesn't sounds very helpful right now" River starts slowly. "But I do know another immortal. His name is Jack -"

"- Harkness, I know" Ashildr chuckles. "You cross him eventually when you live through all of human history. I think we spent some time together, too, I can't quite remember. I guess we didn't work out finally or maybe he wasn't that immortal after all. He didn't make it until the end of the universe with Me at least. Don't know whether I want to repeat that."

"I have got a plan, though. For when Clara goes back to the trap street" Ashildr says after a while. "I am not immortal, not really. I could be killed."

River cocks her head. "Are you asking me to kill you?"

"Would you do it?"

River tries to put as much warmth into the words and her smile as she can. "Of course."

"Good." Ashildr looks around the room. "I should get you away from here, now."

"I suppose, I can't read any of this" River says reluctantly. It is tempting, to see for herself in the memories of another woman that the Doctor really is okay, that he lives on. But she knows she mustn't. Spoilers.

"It was inevitable from the beginning" Ashildr says in the hallway. "Clara and Me. How we would end up. And I knew that. But I am glad we did it. The travelling. The running. Going the long way round. And I am glad we picked you up. Kind of like one last pit stop on the way."

It should offend River to be described that way but she can't bring herself to mind. Maybe Ashildr is right. Maybe there is a time to stop running, to stop resisting, after all. Even for herself. Maybe not just yet, but eventually.

There is a prison cell waiting for her.

[apollos-olives]

before october 7th this blog was a meme page btw.

[medicalunprofessional]

sorry guys they finally showed me peak fiction . Its called “phantom of the paradise”

[letsplaythermalnuclearwar]

Homer!Odysseus and Epic!Odysseus would try to kill each other if they ever met

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

[kitamars]

lovey dovey (alt ver of the first one under the cut!)

[kor0kke]

💖 Caption this

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

which group do you find the most absolutely delightful at bringing the lolz together??

[koszmarnybudyn]

I won't let myself get devoured

Or a Normally Oak-swallows-garcia angst post about grief and anger.

[in-kyblogs]

[ballad-of-the-lamb]

For every person who dreams up the electric lightbulb there’s another who dream up the Adam bomb

isn't it crazy that in only around 50 years or so after creating the electric lightbulb that kickstarted the revolution the atomic bomb was made a weapon that can literally wipe out the planet at any given moment because of corporate greed and technically all the major companies in the world could force the government into world-ending warfare if they just decided it 'fuck it we ball' one day and then inventions started to stagnate again but that's all boring we should talk about one of the oldest perpetual stews to ever exist that actually ended because of world war II because they ran out of food to fill the stew with, it ran on from the fifteenth century to ww2 and technically would've been our only hint to what certain meats and vegetables would've tasted like ages ago before they came to stagnate where they are in their evolution line now, and that notoriously sourdough and stew kept from those eras have such a distinct and different taste than to anything we have now. it's existence has also assisted in scientists figuring out what certain vegetables and fruits had the craziest evolution lines, like apples for example. it's theorized they used to be more like pomegranates which puts the story of hades & persephone into an entirely new light anyway here's my thesis o

[skawdia]

"Damned monster - back off!"

'tis but a scratch

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

I was looking at your Halloween posts of the HoM and a thought occurred. Is Ben's extreme fear of ghosts/spirits and stuff related to his experiences with Ghostfreak/Zs'skayr?

And how did such fears affect his initial meeting with Danny?

Yes it is related! Original Ben10 run always gave me an impression that beside Vilgax, Ghostfreak/Zs'skayr left probably one of the most lasting impressions on 10-year-old Ben. After all, imagine you are 10 and you can tranform into aliens, but one of them almost takes over you and nearly kills your family member. Like??? I would be having an existential and identity crisis, not to mention the nightmares about not being able to control your own body and hurting your loved ones???

And sure, he defeated Zs'skayr multiple times, but I like to think that his fear of being controlled/taken over by Zs'skayr (or anyone) left one of the deeper scars on his psyche (amongst like a bajillion of others).

So, yes, that fear and trauma did affect his first meeting with Danny >;) very badly.

Their first encounter was full of misunderstandings and miscommunications all around (sort of like what we see happen between Rex and Ben in Heroes United but even worse) AND it didn't help that Ben was... let's just say, not in the greatest state of mind at that time and Danny didn't have the most rational and calm reactions to the situations either. Both had their own valid reasons, but it's still wasn't very good, lol.

There are also two very important extra circumstances surrounding their meeting that contributed to their reactions, that I dont want to spoil, because it would be more fun to try and tell in a story. xD

And there hopefully will be one, because Danny&Ben first meeting is one of the flashbacks that I had a lot of ideas for AND is important to the AU.

[kelin-is-writing]

I am: Heartbroken…