#so perhaps I forget how complex some of these strategies are because they are second nature to me.

[forcedhesitation]

I suppose that since this list is for beginners, it isn't unreasonable to put the spent oxygen tank lower in the list.... but I don't know if I could call it average.

Am I missing something here? because I think it's one of his best addons. Slipstream a survivor at the right moment, and they will fail to escape you because they can no longer rely on an exhaustion perk to give them a second chance. Which makes the addon a little too intense for a beginner, yes, but only average? idk.

[wheredemdokis]

[tastebreaker review] Law School (no spoilers)

Sometimes, I wish I could have a shrine for all the cerebral media that I consumed, because it definitely is my favourite archetype. Death Note was a masterpiece that I hungrily binged in one day - similarly with Psycho Pass (though I haven't watched the second season due to most of the reviews I have read). This extend well into non-anime media for me - State of Play (with Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck and Rachel McAdams) remains one of my favourite movies, Inception and, well, honestly anything by Christopher Nolan, and I have recently began watching The Matrix as well.

And so, the thirst for real mystery and brain games was quenched when I started watching Law School, with Kim Myung-min, Kim Beom and Ryu Hye-young, directed by Kim Suk-yoon. Needless to say, throughout the whole trip, I was hooked, counting down days until the next episode came... but towards the end - an unpopular opinion - I was actually quite disappointed.

And so, before you start your cross-examination, allow me to present my findings first.

- How did I start watching this?

My friend and I were looking around for something to binge on Netflix and forget about COVID-19. This series popped up, and the moment I read the title, my sapiosexual senses were tingled.

- And how was it?

Very good!... until the ending came. ;w;

- Genres & overarching themes?

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Psychological

Overarching themes: murder mystery, law vs justice, intelligence (as in, the characters are all really smart hahah)

- Plot: 4/5

It could have been a high four, near five if it wasn't for the ending, frankly. The first episode started out with Professor Seo Byung-ju of Hankuk Law School dead, and the spotlight shines on Professor Yang Jong-hoon (the man in the poster above), the first suspect. But was it really him? From then, the mystery unfolds as our favourite study group (who shall be very well elaborated on later in this review) launches itself into investigation for true justice.

The series started out extremely strong in my opinion, with its first few episodes filled with twists and sub-plots that were waiting to get wrapped up. Every episode just leaves you gripping on the sides of your seat in suspense. It really makes you doubt every single person that appeared on-screen and watch out for anything that happens - the show uses the Chekhov's Gun trope really well. As the knots become unravelled, we gain more depth into the characters. However, as we near the end - about two-three episodes for me - the show started to lose its thrust, falling into a comfortable stereotype that made things rather frustrating.

One of the major advantages of Law School, in my opinion, is its ability to twist and turn everything. It prompts the viewers to realize that when the case is really examined in a whole different angle, with more and more evidence coming to light, everything changes. The use of different suspects' stories being told in each episode is a pleasure to watch - the viewers feel like an omniscient judge, overseeing the motives and evidence to draw out a conclusion for themselves on who might be the murderer. The series prompts the viewers to think, which is a trend I really like. It's also interesting to question why characters do certain things they do. Professor Yang Jong-hoon (my favourite character!), for example, is a very... chaotic (haha) character, who keeps on surprising people with his actions - yet, his actions are all elaborate executions of his strategy, a whole plan that he has concocted which accounted for multiple steps ahead, thanks to his extremely sharp vision of what could happen. Thus, it is extremely satisfying when everything falls into place as Yangcrates (a nickname he earned due to his Socratic teaching) explains everything that led up to a particular tense moment where the truth was unveiled.

Yet... this very trope had its downfall near the end. The murderer was so heavily shadowed on in the beginning that the viewers would have expected the murderer to be someone else completely unexpected, a mastermind that pulled the strings behind all the proceedings. Yet, the murderer and the mastermind behind the murder were someone so... I dare say, unimpressive. I mean, this particular 'mastermind' behind the murder fell into so many traps! The murderer was definitely my major disappointment - the villain was a weak character, an unsatisfying antagonist that the intelligent heroes, once having figured who he/she is, didn't even break a sweat to bring to light. The last, final twist that was supposed to be the most glamorous of them all, completely knocking the viewers off their feet, fell completely flat.

Secondly, whilst having a lot of sub-plots still remains a favourite trope of mine as I'd expect everything to wrap up nicely near the end... well, it didn't. Whilst most sub-plots were hastily answered, there was one particular sub-plot which was just left completely unaddressed (for those who have watched it, it's about J****s), and unless they're hinting at a second season where this would be further elaborated on, this was a dead-end sub-plot, a plot with no elaboration or continuation whatsoever.

Overall, the plot was breathtaking in the beginning. It lost momentum very near the end, and wrapped everything up with an anticlimactic last episode.

- Characters: 4.7/5

Definitely the strongest set of characters I've seen in a Korean drama, frankly. All characters were so well utilised, each having their own quirks and flaws which were delightful to watch. Everyone was so, so intelligent, that they honestly were the main fuel to the series, our main stars.

Allow me to first start off with my favourite character, Professor Yang Jong-hoon. Stoic, yet with an extremely savage side that he does not hesitate to show to anyone of any ranks or social standings, Yangcrates carefully plots everything, always thinks, questions, and then thinks even more. Intelligence-wise, this man is most definitely the smartest on-screen persona I've seen in the Korean drama franchise - able to see miles ahead and figure out all the answers down to their root, he is someone that definitely earns all the respect he has, from both his students and viewers alike. Personality-wise, this man is equally interesting as he is smart. With a cold exterior, Yangcrates does not take any bullshit (cue a particularly funny water spitting scene), and does not hold back harsh words to point it out. Yet, underneath this cold exterior is a burning desire to find the absolute truth, which would in turn bring justice to ones who have been wronged (refer to a particular lecture-like speech he made in episode 10), and a passion for teaching his students. He secretly cares for his students a lot, and expresses it in his own way.

Next, our favourite study group - a group of capable, enticing individuals. Firstly, we have Han Joon-hwi, a complex character that always pursues justice and fairness. His intelligence shines through with the way he, firstly, is able to take advantage of his sharp understanding of law into the case, and his careful processing of the evidence he gathers during investigation. Whilst he always keeps a cold head when needed, he has an equally warm heart, genuinely caring for wronged and innocent people. His expressions were all extremely raw and did not feel fake at all - really, props to his actor. More on this later.

Then, we have the two girls - Kang Sol A and Kang Sol B. Don't be fooled by their names - they are very much polar opposites. Whilst Kang Sol A is excitable and wears her heart on her sleeve (sometimes a bit too much), Kang Sol B always keeps a cool head, sometimes taking it to the extreme. I do admit that if I had to pick out of the two, though I love both of them very, very much, I'd probably lean a bit more towards Kang Sol A - even though she definitely gets on my nerves sometimes because of her overload of emotions that could be disruptive, she has her frequent bouts of creativity and "a-ha!" moments that display her underrated intelligence (I'm always soft for underdogs that are underestimated by everyone, only to turn the table on them later). She is also an extremely loyal friend and a very generous individual that isn't afraid to place herself in danger just to help others - overall, a very warm person. Kang Sol B, on the other hand - perhaps due to her family environment - does not really taking other people's emotions into consideration, though I really, really admire her for her intelligence, her ability to always keep a calm head (making her the blue counterpart to Kang Sol A's red), as well as her straightforwardness which has proven many times to be necessary to push the case forward. She does have a soft spot, though - a very adorable one at that. These two make an extremely adorable pair of friends.

My favourite student of the study group must be Seo Ji-ho. I'd say he's a less intimidating version of Kang Sol B hahah - cool and composed, Ji-ho is a reliable member who always pursues logic and reason first. He is also driven to achieve his goal and, like Joon-hwi, utilizes his deep understanding about law very well to solve his own case, his sub-plot. Though his sub-plot eventually was wrapped up as an open ending, it was a nice sub-plot to watch. Not to mention his dynamic with Joon-hwi is very adorable as well - the two really balance each other out.

Other students also have their own quirks and flaws, but for the sake of this review's length, I won't elaborate them as much - but I will say they are all a delight to watch, adding their own personal elements to the overall study group. I will definitely miss this set of characters so, so much. ;-;

- Acting: 4.4/5

Frankly, perhaps because of some K-drama series I have watched, I had a problem with acting in some K-drama series - the actors and actresses did not feel genuine, and they either overacted, pushing their expressions to the extreme, or underacted, simply being way too... stiff (some of my personal favourite actors and actresses so far are Kim Seon-ho, whose theatrical experiences probably really helped with his very natural acting, Jo Jung-seok, and Kim Hye-yoon, an actress who impressed me with both of her most popular series - hope to see her versatility shine through with more diverse roles though). This series, however, is a definite favourite of mine in terms of acting. Firstly, Kim Myung-min is a veteran actor that deserves so much respect - he basically morphed into Yangcrates. I absolutely loved the way he delivered his dialogues - very long ones! - without even so much as taking a breath in between - it was smooth and the flow was excellent.

Kim Beom also became one of my favourite actors after this series - the way he handled his role was so good, his expressions, actions, everything. I noticed that he's very good with his eyes, if that's the right way to put it - he is very good at displaying emotions with them, all emotions ranging from sadness to adoration (towards a particular someone *wink*). It's a top-notch skill, really, and I'm glad to have seen him on-screen. Similarly, Ryu Hye-young impressed me so, so much that I shall add her to my list of favourite actresses as well - I can't spoil, but she is really able at... altering her vibes, yes. She seems to have studied her character really carefully too, being able to bring all Sol A's quirks to real life. Other actors and actresses were amazing, but for me, these three definitely shone.

- Doki moments?

Ah. Definitely some between Sol A and Joon-hwi, as a lot of other people have commented. From the way they tease each other to the way he cares about her every little thing, the way he stares at her, the way his whole demeanor just changes around her and the way she unknowingly influences him so much - they do balance each other out really well, Joonhwi being the cool to Sol A's warm. I do find myself thinking Sol B and Ji-ho would be rather compatible as well (also, them being study rivals in high school? My rivals-to-lovers side is ready).

- Enjoyment: 4/5

Again, could have been higher if it wasn't for the ending! But yes, overall, a whole trip worth embarking on.

- Overall: 4.2/5

Really, could have been higher... but yes, still an excellent show. I just hope they could have had more episodes to really wrap everything up nicely and maybe throw us one final, absolutely ground-breaking twist.

- Watch it or neh?

Yes, please do watch it! And let me know how it goes, too. ;3

[sepublic]

G1 Starscream Ramblings

           The interesting thing to me about G1 Starscream, specifically the one from the cartoon is… He very much gives me ‘young upstart vibes’, the hot-headed rookie that’s fresh into war, just graduated, and is eager to fight and prove himself. Especially with his line about how ‘his time will come’, I get the vibe that Starscream sees Megatron as almost being outdated hardware, some crankety old-timer whose come and gone and outlived his prime (eventually literally as of the movie), which fits with how Megs was around since the beginning and founded the Decepticons from the start.

           And it’s this disrespectful, irreverent attitude, that constant questioning because he lacks experience and assumes it’s way simpler and easier than it actually is… It all just (star)screams new, fresh recruit who thinks he’s all that, wide-eyed and idealized and thinking he can take on the entire world, instead of being a battle-hardened veteran who’s been humbled and is more prone to the realities of war and its complexities. It’d play into Starscream being so power-hungry, wanting instant gratification and glory, and always being impatient about this sort of thing without really thinking things through, he’s an impulsive brat.

           Maybe he’s even the Cybertronian equivalent to a rich brat who got where he did thanks to his family’s high-end connections, and so there’s always that judging from more experienced soldiers about how Starscream is clearly operating on a lot of privilege, wearing shoes multiple sizes too big for him, and generally making a fool of himself as he parades around, treating the whole situation like an opportunity for fame and adulation, like he’s some celebrity indulging in the fun, and not a general and a commander who has to keep fighting for the cause, make the right and mature calls, all that.

           Because it’s worth noting that a lot of times in G1, he ends up acting out-of-line and doing costly maneuvers that hinder the Decepticons- Most notably, trying to bury the Autobots and accidentally awakening them in the process. And it’s this eagerness to get into fighting and prove himself that leads to Starscream short-sightedly wanting to focus on attacking the Autobots because they’re right there, picking a fight- When Megatron, who is older and more level-headed, has to steer this brash new kid in the right direction, set him on track with the proper agenda and mission. Maybe whip him into shape a bit, and this could all play into Megs’ patience because Starscream is just a dumb kid, so he’s willing to give him some more doubt- Give Starscream some time to actually cool down and taste reality and he’ll surely fall into line.

           He’s like some kid who grew up on military propaganda and bought into a bit too well, saw himself too much in those glamorous posters and manufactured, idealized images; So he’s pretty disappointed that it doesn’t turn out the way he expected it to. Starscream is like that popular kid in high school who always had a clique trailing behind him, and he kind of took it for granted how much he meant to these people because clearly their worlds revolve around him, which makes him all the more blindsided when he turns for help and his ‘friends’ immediately abandon him at the drop of a hat.

          All of Starscream’s ‘friends’ and social situations were blatantly manufactured and brought up by somebody else, but he thinks it was all him so he’s in for a real shock when Starscream is by himself- And people don’t immediately fall in line at his beck and call, so he falters. He’s out of his environment, just graduated all of his usual tricks don’t work, try as he might to stubbornly reapply them like a hammer with anything that looks remotely nail-shaped. It’s this kind of idiotic hypocrisy that makes Starscream not realize that people who do put up with him only do so because they have to, and/or they’re opportunistically kissing up to his façade the way he does with others. Starscream’s grandiose imagination and outlandish, fantasy ‘ideas’ straight out of fiction and films that clearly don’t work in real life, clearly need to be reined in.

           I also like to think that similar to that comparison I made earlier, he DOES have connections- Maybe it’s a Team Rocket situation, where the character is incompetent… But they had a parent who the leader greatly respected, and so they begrudgingly put up with their kid’s foolish antics and incompetent failures out of respect for that posthumous minion’s last wishes. Kind of like Hopper from A Bug’s Life really wanting to kill his brother, but because his mother explicitly told him NOT to on her deathbed, he kind of has to force himself not to because he still feels beholden to her- But there’s certainly no warmth on his end just because that person he respects, was fond of this dude he hates.

           It could factor into Megatron constantly tolerating Starscream as a thorn in his side… And really, Starscream seems to be even more of an idiot at times than Megatron, what with Megatron going into a spiel that one time about how Starscream lost because he lacked strategy. Perhaps Starscream is, like, SUPER skilled in combat, a beast and a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield; And if he’s doing so well and he’s so strong, then surely this means he’s fit to be leader, because obviously the Decepticon who’s the best fighter should lead, right? It’s a gross oversimplification of a narrow-minded worldview… And I imagine Starscream also somewhat got where he was because of privilege, so he kind of takes a lot of things for granted here about how the Decepticon faction works and its hierarchy and rules.

          Perhaps Starscream being an utter beast in combat contributes to Megatron keeping him around- He IS useful, he just needs some proper guidance and a good head to productively channel that ability. He’s confusing fighting ability with actual tactical leadership and charisma, but beyond that, Starscream clearly knows how to get out of a scrape, and has no reservations about playing dirty to add to his already potent combat skills as-is. So Megatron still has some hopes for Starscream, while sternly warning him not to make him regret his decision in further tolerating his nonsense- Because Megatron likes to think he’s a forgive and forget kind of guy, but only to people who justify themselves in his eyes as being strong and powerful, traits he actually respects.

          Maybe Megatron even sees a little bit of his young self in Starscream, and so there’s that hope for a pay-off; That if he just gives Starscream a chance and proper guidance, that if the kid has someone who can set him on the right track and help him figure things out- Then he can really live up to his potential! Because that’s what Starscream is- Potential. Raw, untapped potential, clumsily thrown about and unrefined… But it’s there and Megatron would hate to make a waste of it, especially since this whole conflict is about resources; Even the hedonistic Decepticons have to be mindful of how they use things, how efficient they are.

           Of course, having his constant patience and mercy, his tolerating, waiting in eternal hope for his investment into Starscream to finally pay off… Megatron is tired of giving him second chances, tired of how ungrateful this brat is, and how his failures keep adding up. So when Starscream straight-up throws him out to die, coupled with his reformatting into Galvatron… And Galvatron’s had about enough of this, he’s done and sick and tired of Starscream’s antics. After having people put up with him for so long, Starscream really begins to overestimate just how important and useful he is to them, that eventually he’ll reach a point where his negatives outweigh his positives, but he never considers this and believes he’ll always be allowed back into the fold after each betrayal…

          Literally everything about Starscream’s coronation yells in-over-his-head kid who really has to compensate for his lack of leadership and respect from others by playing up the adulation and the glamour, but… If he HAD been given a chance to actually lead, his reckless impatience and short-sightedness would’ve definitely led the Decepticons to ruin, and someone would’ve had to stage a coup. Even Starscream’s use in combat would stop paying off for him as he becomes too much of a liability.

          And it’s this inexperienced, clearly insecure demeanor that makes Starscream impatiently yell at the Constructicons to get to the point. He really can’t make up his mind and stick to it, so even though he has this music being played in the first place, Starscream just as quickly regrets and finds it annoying because he’s not particularly deliberate nor thoughtful about what he does. He knows what others think of them, that they don’t respect nor take him seriously, and it gets to his head and makes him irrationally angry because he doesn’t know to handle this, he expected this to be so much easier, to be as simple and done as THIS. Starscream really isn’t equipped to handle actually navigating around people from a charismatic standpoint and earning their trust, especially given his history as backstabber who has no concept of loyalty and bonds because he’s arrogant enough to think he can do it all on his own.

          And when faced with genuine adversity and reality, as we see… Starscream very immaturely fumbles and trips, and then defaults to begging and pleading because he hasn’t built up much of a spine, and he’s still an idealistic kid who clearly hasn’t built himself up and his fortitude all that well. He’s promising with snot dribbling down his nose that he won’t screw up this time, please give him a second chance he didn’t MEAN it, he seriously did not expect nor consider the consequences of his actions, nor how they could backfire and blow up in his face.

          Starscream is an upper-class snob who doesn’t really get it, he’s eager for approval because he’s young but also clearly selfish and ungrateful about it, because he’s always entitled to that thing and so when it DOES come around, it both means a lot, but also it’s about time, he was waiting for so long just to get the bare minimum he was owed, don’t pat yourself on the back for doing what you’re already meant to. And when things go wrong, Starscream blunders and starts to doubt himself because he was pampered, privileged, and sheltered, constantly told he was amazing- And so he doesn’t actually know how to handle failure and was always used to things coming easily to him on a silver platter, while having someone else to clean up the mess for him and protect him from the consequences. Starscream doesn’t appreciate the actual work that it takes for things, he’s basically spoiled and out of his environment in this military setting where nobody is having it.

           Of course, when Starscream IS spared and recovers, he then silently fumes because he totally would’ve succeeded had THIS happened, or if this other person hadn’t screwed up- And then he fails to learn any of his lessons and keeps trying to take over and take charge, because obviously he knows better and he thinks all of his ideas are the best in the world. When faced with past failures, he doesn’t learn he just denies them as soon as they’re not being shoved in his face anymore, like a child who wet the bedsheets and is now frantically hiding them. He has no real clue nor idea about what he’s doing, but as soon as it’s over he again takes for granted the safety net that his fellow Decepticons begrudgingly provide, and wants again continues to test their patience and resources.

           So, when Galvatron DOES come around and kill Starscream- The Decepticons are clearly elated, and if we’re being real here… They were all probably thinking of ways to assassinate or depose Starscream, or at least play to his ego so he could remain a figurehead who occasionally goes out into battle doing the one thing he’s good at, while his oh-so-loyal lieutenants do the dirty, unglamorous work of actually being a tactician and leader for hm. Starscream wants all of the power and fame, but like- NONE of the actual work and responsibility, that’s too much for him to actually work on so he just stamps his foot frustratedly when others don’t treat him with the respect he deserves, because he DOES recognize his own potential and expects other to revere Starscream for what he could be, VS what he actually currently is… And because he’s so caught up in the idea of what he thinks he’ll inevitably be, he never works on his current self so he can actually get to that point.

           Like I said- Galvatron killing him saved the Decepticons a LOT of much-needed stress and headaches. It got that young brat and upstart out of the way so they could all get to business and not have to deal with his nonsense anymore, because he ain’t getting any deader! There was some hesitation about what COULD be lost if they did away with him, but now he’s gone and so all they can do is just reap the benefits of Starscream’s death! It’s almost relieving- Like YEAH, we were prepared on how to handle this… But then Galvatron came and made things so much easier, he got this off our hands and he’s clearly bold and decisive and knows what he’s doing, taking out Starscream made him VERY popular, in addition to basically being Megatron with a new coat of paint;

           Up until his lava-bath fried his circuits… And then Galvatron basically became the Decepticon Leader Starscream that everybody feared, ironically enough. And then it was Cyclonus who had to do the job of looking after this dude, who was less a reckless young upstart and more like a senile old veteran gone mad and blindly waving his cane around; And then complications get worse when Starscream somehow returns as a GHOST, because why not? Sure, let’s go with that, we already have Galvatron seemingly saving us from Starscream, only to become the new one… Let’s compare him with the original and see what happens, why not? There must’ve been a lot of collective groans of exhaustion at each and every new development.

          The Decepticons must be so exasperated, it really feels like they’ve been on a downward slope, outlived their prime and golden age since the Battle of Autobot City… Yet despite Megatron’s failures they remember him fondly because he did a lot of other things right, was otherwise charismatic, and seemed pretty close to actually winning, all things considered. And so the Decepticons are too caught up in their delusional nostalgia and what-ifs, the way Starscream is about his own future, to really remember that Megatron kind of screwed them over with that risky, costly maneuver that clearly didn’t pay off.

[jamlavender]

Babies & bathwater: Marisa, Asriel and Lyra’s impending existence

After writing this post about adult Lyra’s relationships with her parents if they’d survived the trilogy – a piece of character analysis paired with my fic Unholy Ghosts – and really enjoying doing so, I’ve decided to write another one, to match with my latest fic Force of Nature, which tells the story of Lyra’s actual birth (this also relates to much of Silver Bullet too). So much care and analysis go into writing fics and it seems a shame not to share that! Here’s my take on Marisa and Asriel’s feelings about Lyra while Marisa was pregnant and in the immediate aftermath of her birth.

Asriel  

Aside from the logistics of having a baby with his secret lover, I think Asriel would have been very relaxed about the prospect of fatherhood – perhaps even, dare I say it, excited – because he wouldn’t have seen having a child, even under stressful circumstances like these, as any threat to his aims whatsoever. He’s a lord, richer than the king, with an almost supernatural ability to have his needs met with a simple call into the void. For the few months that Lyra is in ‘his’ care, she lives with a nurse in a different house to him (maybe even a different city most of the time, as Ma Costa and Lyra’s cottage was part of Asriel’s estate in Oxfordshire and he likely spent a lot of time in London). For Asriel – like all men of his social class – the daily drudgery and tangible, explicit love that parenthood requires would have been foreign concepts. He could have a child – as, I presume, he’d considered he might one day, should the circumstance arise – and continue his antitheist crusades. Those two things are not in conflict at all. Nor, do I think, he’d have seen Marisa as having to make a choice between her ambitions and motherhood either (if she’d left Edward and joined him) because there’d have been a seemingly endless pot of money and reams of staff to meet Lyra’s needs if her mother would rather have been doing something else.  

I also think that he’d have been pleased to be having a child with a woman that he loved, particularly when there’d no doubt been months or years of push-pull between them, about their relationship, about secrecy, about choosing to be together (or not), about ownership and love and jealousy. He’d have felt that them having a child together was yet another compelling reason she should leave her husband for him, and perhaps even have been hopeful as a result. I also think he’d have been childishly pleased that, after her keeping him and their love in the shadows for so long, there now existed some glaring proof of their relationship. He’s not a man who likes to be overlooked or ignored, after all. And, while I’m probably projecting here, I wonder if the scientist in him might have found something about pregnancy and birth interesting, because while reproduction and childbirth are common, they are also physiological marvels (my reproductive physiology course was my favourite module at university, can you tell?).

I do wonder, though, if the plan for him to take the baby was agreed in advance of her birth, regardless of what the newborn looked like, only because it’s so rare (if it ever happens?) for it to be clear within minutes of birth which of two men might have fathered the new child – unless the two men are of different races, a possibility explored beautifully in the fics The Image of the Father and this be the verse. In fact, the much greater risk would have been that, after being an indistinguishable pink potato at birth, Lyra grew up to be Asriel’s spitting image, when it would have been impossible to spirit her away or fake her death. I could believe that Marisa had decided long before the birth to give the child away regardless, both from her (lack of) personal feelings and the reasonable fear that their secret might instead be discovered years down the line, when the consequences could have been much more severe.

I don’t think Marisa’s suspicion of the child and lack of maternal inclination would have bothered Asriel, particularly relating to her work (I mean, as soon as he loses all the money that enables Lyra’s existence to have no impact on his day-to-day life, he dumps her in favour of his work without a second thought). Rather, he’d have been upset about Marisa’s rejection of Lyra because he’d see it as extension of her rejecting him over and over again. He’d never understood why she wouldn’t leave her husband to be with him – he could provide money, freedom, fascinating work, intellectual partnership, raw love and attraction – and now they’ve had a child together, and still she chooses to walk away. That’s what would have gutted him, I think, especially when it seems obvious to him that they can have their cake and eat it too: they can pursue their ambitions and raise their child, largely because someone else will do the bulk of the latter. Marisa, of course, had always felt differently about the real feasibility of that. His rage at Marisa rejecting him through Lyra would only have been intensified when Marisa surrendered the baby to the Church, which was surely the deepest and worst knife she could twist, leading “all the anger in him to turn against her.” (I forget the exact quote, but I think that’s pretty close). 

Marisa

Marisa would have resented the baby’s existence from the start (I choose to assume that she always knew the baby was Asriel’s, though if she didn’t – which is not out of the realm of possibility at all – that would have been stressful in a different way). Here was proof of her infidelity, proof of her inability to resist the cardinal sin of lust, and a person that might well grow up to have Asriel’s face, who was going to emerge from her body and either be a nightmare to spirit away and keep hidden or a burden (and a secret!) she was forced to bear for the rest of her life. Asriel’s generally blasé attitude about the whole thing would no doubt have infuriated her, as would Edward’s attempts to involve himself in a pregnancy in which he’d played no part. I think she’d have been stressed and miserable and resentful.

Pregnancy and birth must also have been a nightmare for her. The loss of control over her body as another grew inside it, the weight gain and hormones, and, surely most of all, the loss of her ability to use her sexuality to control those around her. The Church might revere motherhood, but they don’t desire it, which would have been a disaster for her, someone for whom manipulating the desire of others was her most beloved political strategy. It’s also very base, a reminder of our animal functions, and as someone who has a complicated relationship with her more instinctive feelings and seems keen to obliterate them as much as possible in favour of repression and manufactured poise, that must have been very uncomfortable. I think she’d have hated it.

Given, though, that she develops an expansive love for Lyra in the end, I did want to sow the seeds for that when her daughter was born (though twelve years is a long time, and I don’t think it’s impossible that she’d have discarded her daughter at birth and simply changed her mind all those years later, but I find it more interesting to make it a little more emotionally complex than that). I think she’d have been in shock, particularly from the pain and vulnerability of birth, but also confronted with an actual person she’d made, with a person she loved deeply, no less. She’d then do an excellent job of repressing those feelings, but I could believe that there was a short time where the fact she’d actually had a child, Asriel’s child, was impossible for her to ignore, despite the chaos, emotional or otherwise, that recognition would cause. That’s how I conceive of both Asriel and Marisa’s immediate reactions to Lyra after her birth, actually: that they’d have spent the pregnancy ignoring their impending arrival, either from glibness about its potential significance (Asriel) or repressing her fears about being discovered or saddled with a baby (Marisa), and only when they were confronted with their actual child did they realise they might have created something here that they couldn’t control as easily as they’d expected. That sums up Lyra’s role in both their lives in the trilogy, I think: she pushes them both because they can’t control her, not what she does nor the emotions she evokes in them, and they both find that unbearable.  

[theawkwardterrier]

Taking Care

Steggy Week 2k20, day 2 Prompt: Tropes, cliches, and symbols

Summary: Peggy gets sick. Steve shows up to help.

AO3 link here. Thanks to @steggyfanevents​ for organizing!

Peggy’s immune system is notably strong and she’s far more likely to be the one nursing others than to need nursing herself. But this means that when she actually does start feeling under the weather, she ignores it, certain that it will simply pass or that she can overcome it by sheer force of will.

She’s actually able to pull it off for a few days, but once her eyes start watering so much that it takes her three times as long as usual to read anything and her coughs and sniffles become the soundtrack of headquarters, Phillips tells her that the war isn’t going to be lost if she takes a few days off to get well and sends her home.

“Perhaps I am a bit under the weather, but I can still—” she begins in protest but when she needs to take out her handkerchief partway through the sentence, Phillips simply points her toward the door and she actually complies.

She manages to fall asleep for several hours before waking jerkily, somehow less rested, her head muddled. The thought of food appeals not at all, but she is absolutely parched; she lies for much longer than she would ever admit trying to convince her body to stand and go to the tap.

Tea sounds absolutely wonderful at the moment but she can’t guarantee that she won’t fall asleep at the tiny table while the water comes to a boil, so she contents herself with several glasses of water. She is turning to return to bed when there’s a knock at the door.

Peggy doesn’t typically receive visitors here - in fact, she barely receives herself in the tiny efficiency she’s been renting for the past months. There’s a war on, after all, and she essentially uses this as somewhere to catch a few hours’ sleep before returning to headquarters. She isn’t even certain that anyone knows this address. Then again, it would be just typical of today to have someone coming to inform her of a fire or a gas leak while she’s in this state.

But to her surprise, when she calls a polite if stuffed-up, “Who is it?” through the door, the response is, “Steve Rogers.”

“I thought you were in Amsterdam,” she says, opening up and stepping back (it comes out as “Absterdam;” Phillips really was probably right to send her home.)

“We were until this morning,” he responds, following her inside and closing the door behind himself. “Only got back a couple of hours ago, but when I went to track you down with some documents, they said that you’d gone home sick so I—” Fully inside now, he peers at her more closely, and she thinks she should probably be embarrassed, but she barely has the energy to hold her dressing gown closed around her body so more complex emotion will have to wait.

“Right,” he says, his tone changing to a decisive firmness. “Okay. Back to bed.”

“But I—” she protests, mostly out of habit. The thought of even the thin single bed that came with the flat is so tempting that it should be featured in a Greek myth.

“I don’t think so.” He reaches over and gently touches her shoulders with both enormous hands, turning her around and directing her over to sleep.

“You aren’t meant to boss me around,” she tries, but it comes out around a yawn.

“I’ll keep it in mind for the future,” he says, and even through her muzzy head, she thinks there’s affection in his voice. “But maybe just listen for now, huh? I’m kind of the expert.”

The memory of that very lengthy file of his from boot camp comes into her head, but she can’t hold the thought there. Before she even has time to pull up the blanket, she’s crumpled into sleep.

When she wakes up again she isn’t certain of the time, though she feels much more clear-headed overall. A glass of water sits beside the bed, and she manages to sit up (the blanket slides off as she does; apparently someone put it on her) and drink it down without much dizziness.

“I can get you another,” comes Steve’s voice. “Or I can try my hand at a cup of tea.”

She looks around and finds him sitting at the table - the only place to sit, really - with a newspaper in front of himself. She clears her throat. “Do you have any experience with that?” The words come out clearly, which she considers a fairly good sign.

“Not really. It’ll probably be a good thing that you can’t taste much.”

“I’m actually—” she considers, realizing it with surprise for the first time herself. “I actually feel a bit peckish.”

“Good sign,” he says, standing. “Just a minute.”

“I don’t have very much here at the moment,” she points out, and then feels compelled by some lesson of hospitality or politeness or normalcy which her mother tried to impart to her to add, “I’m not about often. I usually end up in the mess back at headquarters or finding a bit to eat on the way between here and there.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not as if I could cook you up anything edible even if you had a full fridge,” he says easily teasing, as he comes over to her with a bowl of consomme and a saucer with a bread roll sliced thin and slightly charred from toasting it over the open flame of the stove. He hands her the bowl, places the roll beside the clock on the nightstand.

She studies him more carefully as he brings one of the kitchen chairs closer to her bedside. He had arrived in full uniform, but now his jacket hangs on the back of the chair he had been occupying, his sleeves are rolled to the elbow and he has his tie loosened. His hair is a bit disheveled. He looks wonderful, and she tries to forget how wrecked she must come off just now.

“Where did this come from, then?” she asks, taking a careful spoonful of the broth. It is a touch salty, noticeably warm but no longer steaming, and feels wonderful moving down her throat. She takes another sip.

“I ran over to the place around the corner. Told them I had a sick friend, and they threw in the roll for free.”

A sick friend. She rolls the words around in her head as she bites gingerly and thoughtfully into one of the small rounds of toast. Thinking of herself as sick is unfamiliar but it’s currently true and she can accept it as fact. Friend, though…

She and Steve have been courteous to each other since the incident with Private Lorraine, but don’t spend extra time together. Sometimes, though, their eyes will meet across the table during a strategy session, or they’ll each choose to deliver something to the other that isn’t strictly their responsibility. Just in those occasional moments, when she allows it, she remembers how determined he is, how quietly funny, how sharp and kind.

She thinks it might actually be nice to become real friends with Steve, but she doesn’t know that she’ll be able to forget the time when she thought that they might become something more, doesn’t know that she can stop herself from still hoping for the future.

“You must be a bit of an expert in the sickbed experience,” she says, eager to change the topic, only realizing once she has that it might be rude or bring up painful memories. Thankfully, however, Steve only laughs.

“It’s a little strange to have nearly gotten through winter with nothing happening. I keep expecting the flu or a nice case of pneumonia to sneak up on me.” His face twists into a slight sadness. “I was lucky, though, back then. My mother took really good care of me. Made sure I always had books and pencils, someone to call if she had to work, soup and crackers when I needed them...A couple of times, when things had been really bad, she got me an orange. We couldn’t afford it and I know that she missed dinners because of it, but she insisted on it so that—so that when I could taste again, that would be the flavor waking me up.”

The soup glides over the tenderness growing in her throat. Here, again, is the reminder of why Erskine was drawn to him, why she’s been drawn to him: because without considering otherwise, he uses the protection given by the serum to help those who need it, because he won’t ever forget the way it felt to eat an orange gifted by someone who scrimped and hurt for it but did it anyway because she loved him.

“I don’t expect you were the most compliant patient, if you’re being truthful,” she comments once she’s swallowed.

“What tipped you?” he says, mouth curling up into a grin. He spreads his hands. “I would have been an angel and stayed in bed, but when one person works twelve hour days, it's up to the other person to make sure the house is clean. Plus, Bucky's team really needed a second baseman."

She laughs too, though it turns into a bit of a cough at the end. As she catches her breath, she looks into the dwindling depths of her bowl. "I'm reminded just now," she says, "of how hard it can be to ask for the help you need, to give up control and let someone take care of you on occasion."

There's a quiet in the room with them, a ticking clock silence. Then Steve says slowly, "That's always been pretty hard for me too. But I think it's something I could get good at if I had the chance. If I came across the right person."

When she looks up, he's already there waiting for her with a steady gaze. An understanding passes between them, but after what's happened before, she needs more than that.

"I think it's something I could learn as well. Leaning on someone." She reaches over, covers his hand with hers. "I hope we both have the chance for it."

"So do I," he says softly, holding on until she yawns again. "Okay," he says. "Time to sleep again, I think. Doctor's orders, probably."

She screws up her face, but is actually tired enough to comply, lying down and letting him clear away her dishes to wash.

"I'll stay around until you wake up," is the last thing she registers before she drifts off. And even though she knows he must have a thousand things to do over at headquarters, when she wakes once again, he is still there, just as he is each time after.

[youre-in-the-jungle-baby]

Tommy/Nikki

It wasn’t Nikki’s job to clean puke off the dashboard of the car. Especially if it wasn’t his own, regardless of whether or not it was his best friends. Because you’re supposed to have boundaries, and he was calling this one right here and he was sticking to it. He could do that if he wanted.

It wasn’t like he didn’t feel bad for Tommy, if it was a night where it was bad enough to send his body on the path of expelling the alcohol as opposed to sucking it up and hammering through it like most nights, he could only imagine what Tommy must be feeling. Or how many shots he'd done to get him there. Then again, Tommy probably wasn’t feeling anything besides vaguely nauseous and dizzy at this point. That didn’t mean he felt bad enough to clean up his mess just yet.

Tommy’s shoulders tense for the second time that night, and Nikki’s brain is sent into a flurry of figuring out how to open the passenger door from the driver's side seat and then how to get the seatbelt off of the man in the seat before shoving him out of the car. He curses under his breath and resigns himself to letting it happen. The damage had already been done for the most part.

“Nikki-” the tone reminds him of the sound that the old calico cat he'd had when he was little had made before it threw up. Except at least with a cat there was usually time to scoop it up and deposit it solidly outside and skip over a mess on the carpet much like the mess that had spread to the floor of the car now.

He’s sure that the last of Tommy’s dignity had gone with it when he sits back in the seat with a heavy sigh and a blank look on his face. Taking his hand off of where it had been gripping the wheel, even though the car had been parked outside the apartment complex for the past fifteen minutes, Nikki stares intently at the street light in front of them. It’s late, pushing two in the morning and he’s wide awake and he knows that if he went home right now, clean car or not, he wouldn’t be falling back asleep.

“Sorry ‘bout your car,” Tommy says, or at least that’s what he hears. It’s hard to tell right now. This is why he’d never liked being the designated driver, too much to worry about when you’re the only sober one and suddenly you have to deal with someone else's drunk bullshit instead of dishing it out and enjoying yourself. But he’d sucked it up for Tommy and picked up the phone when he’d called still half sober to invite Nikki to the bar he was currently at (or perhaps listening to Vince whine the entire night since he was still moping around from a bad cold and sore throat that he hadn’t managed to give Nikki; had seemed even less appealing).

‘Invite’ was the nice way of putting it, it had been a declaration followed up by a stream of bitching until Nikki felt his hackles rise and he’d hung up and ignored the next dozen text messages and two missed calls. He’d picked up on the third call, tired and slightly guilty after listening to his phone buzz incessantly on the coffee table while he tried to tune it out with even louder music.

And of course, it wasn’t a fun Friday night out, it was shaping up to be more of a hard binge with no regard to how he’d feel once he woke up. Which seemed odd, Tommy usually drank and forgot things as a byproduct, rarely would he drink with the intent of forgetting. Not that it was worrying Nikki, because if he worries about it he’s going to be obligated to have to acknowledge someone's feelings. And drunk or not he did not need to dig into Tommy’s. In fact, he’d do his best to avoid that when Tommy was sober too. That sort of relationship had worked well like that for as long as he cared to remember, you blew off steam fighting with strangers and then bottled up the rest, no need to bother each other with the details.

As if reading his thoughts and deciding to make him more miserable, Tommy breaks the silence, “She doesn’t- Nikki she doesn’t,” he pauses like he’s searching slowly through his own mixed-up thoughts for the word, “Like me. She doesn’t like me anymore.”

Nikki doesn’t let his focus deviate from the street light, praying for the first time since he’d gotten thrown out on his ass for the first time by his own mother, that there’s some higher power listening. And if that higher power can’t stop Tommy Lee from talking may it at least have the mercy to just kill Nikki Sixx in some freak accident of nature before he does get going.

So it’s going to be about Heather. It’s about a girlfriend and it’s going to end up being his problem. What a wonderful end to the week.

He debates ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘That really sucks man’ or maybe the old reliable ‘There’s plenty of fish in the sea’ but he can’t decide which leads to a quicker end in the conversation before Tommy keeps going, “An’ that makes me, it’s not fair. Makes me upset.”

Nikki decides nodding here would be appropriate. He’s not sure the severity of this, Heather had seemed nice enough the few times he’d met her in the past few months, but that mixed with Tommy’s dreamy notions of true love and a wedding had been enough to keep him from getting to know her. True love was something he didn’t have the time for and Tommy took up enough of that on his own.

“Do y'know why?” Tommy asks, and he does his best to turn towards Nikki but the seatbelt confuses him slightly and he stops to pull at it like he can’t remember putting it on. He hadn’t put it on, Nikki had, but that was beside the point and Tommy had been trying to hug him at the same time.

Nikki decides the exit strategy is now or never so he opens the car door and steps out. In the time it takes him to walk in front of the car and to the other side, he still can’t come up with what to stay to save this conversation for when one of them isn’t drunk off his ass. Or the best-case scenario, never. His boot scuffs against the asphalt when he stops beside the door.

Tommy is struggling with the seat belt latch when he finally gets to his door, and he waits until he gets the button clicked before opening it. He just needs to get him to his apartment, into his bed and maybe without his puke-covered shoes. And if he’s feeling nice, to get him to drink a glass of water so he doesn’t feel like a complete asshole before he gets to go home himself. It should be simple enough, he’s done this before and tonight doesn’t have to be special. He’d try to tell himself that the entire ride home but any reassurance had begun to wane the more Tommy talked.

The door flies the rest of the way open and he doges it before it can hit him and Tommy springs out with the most coordination he’s seen in him all night. It’s short-lived, because he leans in too close to Nikki, absolutly reeking of booze that it hits Nikki like a train. Jesus, is this how people see him when he gets drunk? Maybe cutting back couldn’t hurt, Tommy smells like he drank the entire bar.

“She broke up with me,” Tommy points at himself for emphasis and Nikki grabs his arm to steer him towards the doors. “Nope, dude, you gotta listen to me.” Nikki makes the executive decision that he does not, in fact, need to listen to him and continues dragging him towards the building again. He wonders what the neighbors must think of this whenever Tommy gets home in various stages of a few beers to wasted every other night of the week.

“Come on, T-Bone, let's just get you inside,” he says, and the lightbulb must go off inside Tommy’s head (because all of his genius ideas seem to come after the vodka) because his face lights up. He sits- or rather half falls once he gets to the point where he should have folded his legs, onto the ground.

“Oh, you motherfucker,” Nikki groans, because Tommy is looking up at him from the cracked sidewalk like a kid in the grocery store who’s throwing a tantrum much to everyone's annoyance and slight entertainment.

“She said,” Tommy swats Nikki’s hand away when he tries to pull him back up, determined to finish his story, “That she didn’t wanna stay with me because I love someone else.” Nikki nods because he’s tired and getting cold and maybe, just maybe, if Tommy wraps up the sap story they can both return to their respective beds for the night.

“Do y’wanna know who?" he waits, maybe expecting a response that's not coming,  M’ gonna tell you anyway.” Tommy stares at his boots noticing the vomit for the first time but only succeeding in putting off the end to his big statement. He glares at it like he could blame it for this whole situation instead of himself and Nikki starts to think that he’s going to pass out. Which would be considerably better to get him to shut up, but worse to get him into his apartment. He sways a little, and even sitting Nikki worries he’ll still manage to crack his head open.

“Man, you gotta get up,” Nikki’s sharp exhale doesn’t do much to catch Tommy’s attention back. It’s too quiet for some reason, the lack of complaining and loud laughter that Tommy usually keeps up makes everything feel empty for the first time all night.  

“Tommy,” Nikki says, doing his best to put authority behind it and hoping that Tommy takes a hint and drags his sorry ass inside before he passes out for real. Tommy, on the other hand, doesn’t give a shit about what should or shouldn’t be happening. And why should he really, Nikki thinks, it’s not like he’s the one with a redecorated interior to his car and a wasted best friend on the ground.

“It was you,” Tommy finishes.

Nikki waits for a second, hoping his earlier prayer gets cashed in and the ground can swallow him up. It doesn’t. He waits for Tommy to add in something else that makes it sound better than what he’s hearing, but for once he doesn’t say anything. His heart seems louder than normal, he can feel the beat in his chest like it’s getting tighter each time.

If he wasn’t so sure that Tommy wouldn’t remember most of this in the morning, he would keep his mouth shut. He really would, but he does have the benefit of no repercussions to his questions tonight, “Was she right?”

Tommy glares at him, “Not gonna say it.”

Of course, he won’t. The one time in their lives when he needs him to say something, and he's going to play stupid. Part of him knows how irrational it is to get angry now, but he is.

“Just get up,” he snaps, “and quit fucking around.” It’s probably too harsh, as Tommy stretches his legs out and then begins the process of navigating the cracked sidewalk while still on his ass, neglecting to actually try to stand up. He would gladly walk away at this point, cut his loses and forget any hint of awkwardness that Tommy might have just created, he did his time tonight and at least got him most of the way home. He's already in for a night of no sleeping because he'll be thinking about this.

Instead, he grabs Tommy the best he can and hauls him back up to his feet. He’s heavier than Nikki expects, and the extra height makes it even more of a struggle to maneuver him. For a brief moment, he sees the light at the end of the tunnel when Tommy manages to stand on his own, but it leaves just as quickly when Tommy’s arms end up around him,

“Nikki,” Tommy whispers into his shoulder, and the hand fisted in the back of Nikki’s t-shirt doesn’t loosen its grip, “I don’ think I was supposed to- I wasn’t gonna tell you.”

[vergils-daughter]

Nero & Dad!Vergil

Nero tells Vergil everyone believes he is Dante’s son because they have similar personalities, ppl skills,… Vergil’s response? :) 

So, this is my first commission. I am so excited and... confused, because I found this question really difficult. Vergil is a complex character. How would he react to Nero's question? Would Nero want to tease him or make him feel sorry for not being around for such a long time?

 I decided to write both in English and Polish, as I love my native language. Also I'm used to write more novelist fanfics, so this one would be something more/longer than just dialog.

  It was one of those evenings when Nero could not find anything to occupy himself with. He completed his last assignment over a week ago. He already healed, had plenty of food and rest. He handed his cybernetic arm over to Nico for repairs, he discussed strategies with Dante and Lady and made at least a dozen phone calls to Kyrie. And now he was feeling that he was starting to get seriously bored. Seriously. Bored. He wandered around the ground floor of the DMC headquarters, he shifted Dante's magazines from one place to another. He switched between radio stations in the antique receiver which stood on the windowsill. From time to time he let out a loud sigh or he hummed a tune. Simply put, he was loosing his senses.

 He was such a contrast to Vergil - who was unmoved, still like a statue, reading something in the corner of the room as usual. The light of the lamp caught only the book and the lower part of his face. Corners of his lips were slightly raised, as if in amusement.

 Nero was unaware how he gravitated towards him. Finally he stopped for a while and, as if suddenly noticing the other man's presence, began watching him intensely. He took a bite on an apple he picked up somewhere on the way. Finally he said, as if to himself:

"People say that I must be Dante's son."

 Vergil flipped a book page and went on reading.

 "Everyone believes that we are not only physically similar to each other" - Nero continued, "but that we behave in the same way".

 Perhaps he was imagining it, but it seemed Vergil sighed softly.

 "Well, all in all, it is not that strange. I spent a lot of time in his companion. We even have a similar fighting style." Nero shifted his shoulders, clenched his hands into fists - the left as far as the apple allowed it- and made a few test blows, dripping juice around the room. "Same movements. Way of dealing blows. Even how we hold the sword..."

 He looked at Vergil and noted, not without satisfaction, that the man put the book away and was now looking directly at him.

 "Indeed" - he said, slowly. "Thus, we must do something about it."

 He rose almost theatrically, letting the cloak slide from his shoulders, and reached for the Yamato, which was lying near by. Nero froze in the middle of his next bite, his jaw slightly dropping. Vergil was now holding the hilt with two hands, but the blade remained sheathed. He took a long, measuring look at his son, head to toes.

 "Show me what you've got" - he said.

 The boy dropped the apple and looked around in search of his own blade, which he found by the stairs. The Red Queen shone in the light of the lamp.

 He could not tell where this was headed or what was Vergil expecting of him. He surely had not intended to cause this with that little provocation. But then, on the other hand, if the old man wanted to solve things with a fight, who was Nero to tell him otherwise? He swung around with a loud swish and without much thinking he advanced towards Vergil. He led the demonic blade sharply upward, aiming under Vergil's arm, but it only cut through the air as his father moved away, and a kick from the side sent Nero against the wall.

 The boy staggered but quickly regained firm ground and turned around, just in time to deflect a thrust. With a short cry he jumped to meet the next blow. The sword and katana met with a loud cling. Nero felt demon awakening inside him and blue, ethereal wings started to form above his shoulders.

 "Put those away, boy" - barked Vergil, pushing harder and tilting the blade so that the Red Queen slid downwards. As soon as the boy's body began to follow the sword, Vergil smashed against his shoulder with his elbow, increasing the momentum. Nero dropped to one knee, screaming. He wanted to rise again, but the touch of the still-sheathed Yamato on his neck made him freeze. Were the blade naked, his throat would have been cut already.

 "What do you mean to prove this way?" - he barked angrily. Vergil had a formidable fighting style, he had known this for a while now. The man's moves were calculated, economical, perfect, without any claptrap. His evasions were done with a minimum of movements and his katana stokes were calculated to kill instantly. What was the point of this show? To make his son feel inexperienced? A dead weight?

 Nero felt his jaw muscles clenching from rage. He was fed up with this kind of treatment. Perhaps he was unconsciously trying to provoke Vergil, but he had not expected violence. He had not expected...

 "There is a saying: in combat, the heart must be hot, but the head must remain calm " - the silent tones of Vergil's voice brought Nero back. The pressure on the neck weakened, but not entirely. Nero rose his head and met his fathers cold, calculating gaze. - "It is hard to accomplish, even harder in the demonic form, when fire engulfs the body, when emotions make it hard to see clearly. Combat becomes... almost thoughtless. Before you start fighting as a demon, learn to defeat others as a human. Demon is only there to help you increase your strength and fortitude, nothing more. You cannot forget about your technique and your human side." Vergil withdrew his sword, turned around and let out a heavy sigh.

 Nero thought that there had to be more to that than fatigue. At first annoyed at the obvious remarks, now, thinking of his father's past, his attempt to reject his humanity he suddenly understood the change the man had to go through in the last few months. A change which was, perhaps, yet incomplete.

 There also seemed to be some sort of resignation in the silent words of his father. Perhaps resulting from reconciliation with his own self. It was not just some lesson he wanted to pass on to his son, this was admitting that he has been living in error for the most part of his life. Bearing in mind how proud a person he was, this sort of confession must have been hard for him.

 Nero did not know what to say, he was stunned. The silence went on, until the boy stood up and looked at his father's back.

 "Will you teach me?"

 Vergil flintched and half turned. Nero was unsure, but for a second there he might have seen a faint smile on the man's face. It was one of those hard-won moments when they had some form of understanding. Their relation was far from the typical father and son bond and Nero doubted if they ever could approach any level of normality, but these moments meant a lot to him.

 "Yes, Nero. I will teach you." - Vergil said, at last. "This, and much more. As for the rest of your... habits"

 Oh boy, thought Nero, this is where it all goes wrong.

 "...you have always reminded me more of your mother".

Oraz polska wersja:

To był jeden z tych wieczorów, kiedy Nero nigdzie nie mógł znaleźć miejsca. Ostatnie zlecenie wykonał ponad tydzień temu, zdążył się wyleczyć, umówić strategię z Dantem i Lady, oddać Nico mechaniczne przedramię do naprawy, odpocząć, najeść i wykonać tuzin telefonów do Kyrie. Teraz czuł, że zaczyna się zwyczajnie, po ludzku, nudzić. Kręcił się po parterze siedziby DMC, przekładał czasopisma Dantego z miejsca na miejsce. Przełączał stacje radiowe w antycznym odbiorniku, który stał na parapecie. Wzdychał, coś tam do siebie nucił. Słowem – odchodził od zmysłów.

Stanowił kontrast do Vergila, który niewzruszony, nieruchomy jak posąg, jak zwykle czytał coś w kącie pokoju. Światło lampy wydobywało z mroku tylko dolną część jego twarzy i książkę. Kącik ust był lekko uniesiony, jakby w rozbawieniu.

Nero chwilę obserwował go w skupieniu i, niby do siebie, powiedział.

-Ludzie mówią, że na pewno jestem synem Dantego.

Vergil przełożył kartkę i zaczął czytać następną stronę.

-Wszyscy uważają – Nero ciągnął niewzruszony – że nie tylko jesteśmy do siebie fizycznie podobni, ale wręcz zachowujemy się tak samo.

Mogło mu się zdawać, ale Vergil cicho westchnął.

- W sumie nic dziwnego, spędziłem z nim naprawdę wiele czasu. Nawet styl walki mamy prawie identyczny– Nero poruszył barkami, zacisnął dłonie w pięści i wykonał kilka próbnych ciosów – Ruchy, sposób wyprowadzania ciosów, to, jak trzymamy miecz...

Zerknął na Vergila i z niejaką satysfakcją zauważył, że ten odłożył książkę i patrzy na niego.

-Niewątpliwie – powiedział wolno ojciec – Dlatego trzeba coś z tym zrobić.

Wstał, zrzucił z ramion płaszcz i sięgnął po leżący nieopodal Yamato. Nero zastygł w połowie ruchu, dopiero po chwili zorientował się, że szczęka lekko mu opadła. Vergil ujął rękojeść katany w obie dłonie, jednak nie wyciągnął ostrza z pochwy. Zmierzył syna od stóp do głów.

-Pokaż, na co cię stać.

Chłopak rozejrzał się w poszukiwaniu swojego miecza, który leżał przy schodach. Czerwona Królowa zalśniła w świetle lampy.

Nie za bardzo wiedział, czego Vergil od niego oczekuje, a swoją zaczepką na pewno nie spodziewał się wywołać takiego efektu. Ale, z drugiej strony, jeśli staruszek chce rozwiązać cokolwiek walką, to kim jest Nero, by mu się sprzeciwiać? Zawinął mieczem ze świstem i bez zastanowienia ruszył na Vergila. Demoniczne ostrze pomknęło ostro po skosie w górę, celując pod pachę Vergila, ale tylko przecięło powietrze, a wyprowadzony z boku kopniak posłał Nero na ścianę.

Chłopak zatoczył się i obrócił błyskawicznie, by w ostatniej chwili odbić sztych. Z okrzykiem skoczył na spotkanie kolejnego ciosu. Miecz i katana spotkały się z trzaskiem. Nero poczuł, jak budzi się w nim demon, a nad barkami zaczęły formować się błękitne, eteryczne skrzydła.

-Schowaj to, chłopcze – warknął Vergil, napierając mocniej i przechylając ostrze tak, że Czerwona Królowa ześlizgnęła się w dół. Kiedy tylko ciało chłopaka podążyło za mieczem, grzmotnął go łokciem w bark, zwiększając impet. Nero z okrzykiem opadł na jedno kolano. Chciał się zerwać, ale dotyk Yamato na szyi – wciąż schowanego w pochwie – kazał mu znieruchomieć. Gdyby ostrze było nagie, już miałby rozpłatane gardło.

-No i co chcesz udowodnić w ten sposób?! – warknął chłopak z wściekłością. Vergil miał niesamowitą technikę, wiedział o tym nie od dziś. Jego ruchy były oszczędne, perfekcyjne, pozbawione jakiegokolwiek efekciarstwa. Uniki wykonywał za pomocą minimum ruchów, a ciosy kataną za każdym razem były obliczone tak, by zabić od razu. Ale jaki cel miał ten pokaz? Upokorzyć własnego syna, zmusić go, by poczuł, jak bardzo jest niedoświadczony? Zbędny?

Nero czuł, jak z wściekłości napinają mu się mięśnie szczęki. Miał dość takiego traktowania. Może i podświadomie chciał sprowokować Vergila, ale nie spodziewał się przemocy. Nie spodziewał się...

-Jest takie powiedzenie: w walce głowa musi być chłodna, a serce gorące – cichy głos Vergila sprowadził go z powrotem. Nacisk na szyi zelżał, ale nie całkowicie. Nero uniósł głowę i napotkał chłodne, badawcze spojrzenie ojca. – Podczas demonicznej przemiany jest to bardzo trudne do osiągnięcia. Ogień wypełnia całe ciało, emocje przeszkadzają w jasnym widzeniu. Walka przeradza się w bezmyślną siekaninę. Zanim zaczniesz walczyć jako demon, naucz się pokonywać innych w ludzkiej postaci. Demon ma ci tylko pomóc w zwiększeniu swojej siły i odporności, ale nie możesz zapomnieć o technice i swojej ludzkiej stronie – Vergil wycofał miecz, cofnął się i westchnął ciężko. Nero odniósł wrażenie, że w geście tym zawiera się o wiele więcej, niż tylko znużenie. Pomny przeszłości ojca, jego próby odrzucenia własnego człowieczeństwa, zdał sobie sprawę z przemiany, jaką ten przeszedł w ciągu ostatnich kilku miesięcy. Przemiany, która jeszcze się nie zakończyła.

W cichych słowach Vergila pobrzmiewała też pewna rezygnacja wynikająca z pogodzenia z sobą. To nie była tylko część nauki, którą chciał przekazać synowi, to było przyznanie się do tego, że przez większość życia tkwił w błędzie. Biorąc pod uwagę, jak dumny jest to człowiek, tego typu zwierzenie musiało przyjść mu z wielkim trudem.

Nero nie wiedział, co na to odpowiedzieć, po prostu tkwił w oszołomieniu. Cisza przedłużała się, aż w końcu chłopak podniósł się i wbił wzrok w plecy ojca.

-Nauczysz mnie tego?

Vergil drgnął. Nero nie był pewien, ale chyba dojrzał cień uśmiechu na twarzy mężczyzny. To był jeden z tych z trudem wywalczonych momentów, kiedy udawało im się osiągnąć jakąś nić porozumienia. Ich relacja wciąż odbiegała od zwykłej więzi między ojcem i synem – Nero wątpił, by kiedykolwiek zbliżyli się do jakiejś normy – ale takie chwile były dla niego bardzo cenne.

-Tak, Nero. Nauczę cię tego i o wiele więcej. – powiedział w końcu Vergil. – A co do tych innych... podobieństw i nawyków.

Oho, pomyślał Nero, zaraz wszystko się zepsuje.

-To zawsze bardziej przypominałeś mi swoją matkę.

[jontypool-blog]

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[delicrieux]

dungeons & witches [ richie tozier x reader ] pt.2

summary: (name) and richie have a sleepover

words: 2 200 (oops worth the read tho promise)

a/n: this is written for @superwolfiestar ‘s “Beauty and the Beast Halloween prompt challenge”! this is day 9 and prompt pile of leaves. Also, I used @horrificmemes 31 Horrific Days v2 [October Writing Challenge] ! same day, prompt eyes. dis is cute read it plz

PART 1.

if you like my stuff and want to support me, don’t forget to treat me to a KO-FI! take part in the 7K followers gift HERE!

MASTERLIST.

Richie Tozier stayed late for the D&D campaign. Your grandfather had joined the two of you by your request; he was the storyteller, whilst you and Richie had characters that moved across the board with different powers and striking names. Yours is a mage, which Richie was not surprised to hear at all, whilst he took up your grandmother’s figure, a knight. Your grandfather’s accent was a bit difficult to understand, and once he found himself lost he simply glanced at you. Then you’d lean in and explain in clear hushed words what he was to do. True to his word, Richie had yet to roll a bad dice. But he could hardly focus. For some reason, you were just too distracting.

Your eyes shine with specs of real joy, perhaps not in a kaleidoscope of colors, but the simple (color) still looks enchanting in the warm lamp light of the basement. There’s something about your eyes that remind him of Fall: their alertness, like scattering leaves in the wind, or the warmth that glows from them, like hot chocolate. People like hot chocolate. It makes them feel nice, fuzzy in a way, comforted even. That’s how Richie felt each time he caught your wandering gaze: his chest would grow twice its size with an excited spur and confine his breathing, to the point where he’d have to quickly look away and not choke on his saliva. It was a complex emotion, one Richie didn’t understand, perhaps didn’t even want to. He tried to focus on the game, but one glance at you smiling at the miniature version of you would wipe all clever strategies saved in his mind.

A ray of cheers erupt from you as you jump up, clap your hands and with a brilliant grin shake Richie’s shoulder, “We did it!” You say, your voice riddled with disbelieve, “We did it, Richie! We defeated the Demogorgon!” Your grandfather comments something in Estonian, sending a wary glance at the boy with glasses that gives you only a cocky smile in return.

“Geez, how did you survive this long without me?”

With a sharp inhale, a bit out of breath, you plop down onto your seat and look at your grandfather. Your smile dims just lightly, “It’s late now.” He says, turning to Richie, “Would you like me to drive you home, son?”

“What?” Richie blinks, fixing his glasses, “Oh—Oh, no need, sir, I’ll just walk back.”

Your grandfather shakes his head, “I can’t just allow you to leave when it’s so dark. You know of the curfew, don’t you?”

“He could…” You interrupt, “He could stay here…For the night,” You glance at Richie, “if that’s alright with you, vanaisa.” There is a long pause. Richie wants to speak his mind – which is currently a jumbled mess of mostly screaming because he can’t believe what you just said. Your grandfather can’t believe it, either. Richie would be lying if staying at a witch’s home – he now is fully convinced that you had bewitched him somehow, there is no way in hell any of what he’s feeling is natural, - is exciting, and even a bit frightening. But you are hardly even friends, you had only properly met hours prior and even he knows when he has overstayed his welcome. But your voice is so soft, so soft it glides through the air like a pleading whisper, like a witch’s spell and your grandfather looks at you and Richie and then back at you in consideration. Your cheeks grow red; dust particles dance around your (color) hair and fall onto the board. Richie gulps. There is no way in hell your grandfather would allow a BOY to stay over—

“Well, alright.” He finally agrees and Richie nearly falls out his chair. You smile, “But are you sure that will be alright with your parents, Richard?”

“I-It’s Richie.” His face must be sweaty since his glasses keep sliding off his nose, “And yes, sir.”

There is another moment of silence. Your grandfather stands up and gives a knowing smile, wishes the two of you a goodnight and exits the basement is slow creaky steps. The dust continues to settle now that the two of you are alone. You stare at the place your grandfather’s back disappeared, and Richie stares at you, unsure of what else to do. He wasn’t lying when he said his mother won’t care, but it still is a bit odd that your grandfather agreed to let him stay. No wonder he’s European (Richie thinks Estonia is in Europe, he isn’t entirely sure though). He has heard rumors that people in Europe are more lenient.

“I’ll make you a bed.” You say standing up, “Just wait here!” And you run up the steps, yank the door open and he hears your footsteps echo from above. He sighs heavily. Now that you are away there is more room to breathe. He stands up and circles the basement, evaluating its interior as he waits for you to return: shelves stand packed with old knickknacks, books filled with rotten pages and spilled ink, a few cracked snow globes and canned food. The washing machine and washing bin stand neat – not a speck of dust touches the dull surface and once he approaches it a harsh smell of chemicals shoos him away. Lastly his eyes land on the sofa – the brown leather is cracked in places and worn off, but the pillows and blankets look almost brand new. A bright pink bike hides just next to it.

You come down a couple of minutes later with clean sheets up to your head, carefully standing on each wooden step afraid to fall. You don’t greet him, merely beeline for the sofa and dump it down, ”You’ll sleep here, if that’s alright.” You say, turning to him, “The upstairs couch is not nearly as comfortable as this one.” You explain with an apologetic smile. Suddenly you click your fingers, as if remembering something important, and rush to a nearby drawer. Richie sits down. You take out a walkie-talkie and hand it over to him. He raises a confused brow, “Here. Take it. Just ring me if you get scared.”

He gives you a sarcastic smile, “Do I look like Stacy or Gwenda to you?” But takes it anyway, and you giggle.

“You might turn into one at night.” You say cheekily, your obvious intent is to scare him and it works, you just don’t realize it, “Anyway, I have one too, so…If you can’t sleep or something, you know what to do. There’s ice cream in the fridge, and a bathroom below the stairs on the first floor…” You think of what else should you add before leaving, “Oh! And breakfast is always at eight thirty, so if you feel like an early bird you can join.” He nods stiffly. You hook your hands behind your back and shyly look away, “Well, then…Goodnight, Richie.”

He gives you a small smile, “Goodnight, (Lastname).”

As you make your way up the stairs, and he tries to find a comfortable position on the sofa, you suddenly stop. “Richie?”

He perks up, “Yeah?”

“…Thanks.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them and with a racing heart you run up the stairs, turn off the lights and shut the door.

The basement grows still; it’s so dark Richie can’t see his fingers. He’s unsure what time it is, but it’s probably about eleven pm. and he should probably go to sleep. He takes off his glasses and places them on the cold ground, tangles himself in the sheets and closes his eyes. Except he never goes to sleep so early and he is much too excited to even think of resting now, too. His eyes start to adjust, little by little he can make-out far away figures and shapes but they are too blurry for him to realize what they are. His mind whirls in almost a feverish way – this day has been one event after another, and he can barely keep up. If someone had told him that he would be staying over at the Derry Witch’s humble abode, he would’ve pointed a finger and laughed. Oh he would’ve laughed so hard he would probably have peed himself. (Name) (Lastname) was someone he couldn’t even imagine being friends with: first of all, she is a girl, second of all, she’s not Beverly’s friend, and why would he be friends with a GIRL that has no relations with his only other GIRL friend?

But he had learned a lot about you today. He had learned that you use the same shampoo as Beverly when you leaned in to explain what your grandfather was saying. He had learned that you liked to read comic books. He had learned that your parents died when you were barely five.

That thought strikes him again, so crystal clear he can almost hear himself ask you the question “Does your dad play, too?” and see you shaking your head, curls of (color) hair bouncing around your face as in a quiet voice you reply, “I wouldn’t know. He’s dead.”. But that’s not what’s unusual. He can’t explain it, can’t put a finger on it. It’s like something is missing, in him, something he has forgotten, but something that most definitely happened. His left palm itches and he wipes it on the sheets. There, in your voice, he could hear a strange sound. What was it, what was it?... You had looked away from him then, staring straight into the row of cluttered shelves… He had passed them, did he not? Was it a book? No…A snow globe?...

A clown.

Fear strikes his chest and he inhales sharply, sitting up and grabbing around for his glasses. He clumsily puts them on, but the scenery doesn’t become any more or less clear. Now he remembers, on the top shelf there are two globes, one is with candy canes and Santa while the other is with sparkles and a dancing clown inside. You had stared directly into the latter as you said those words. But what brought out such a knee-jerk reaction? Yeah, clowns are creepy, but that’s about it…

With furrowed brows he tries to calm his heartbeat, catch his breath and with a heavy sigh he lays back down. The room spins a little. The only thing piercing the darkness is the bright red dot of the device he’s holding. Finding the correct button, he presses it down and a shrill echoes through the basement. Static. “You there?” He questions, “Over.” He adds quickly.

“I’m here, Richie.” Comes your raspy voice from the other line. He instantly feels better, “You okay down there? Over.”

“Pff-Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? Over.”

“I don’t know.... I don’t like open spaces. It’s a bit too creepy for me. Over.”

“The basement gives you the heebie-jeebies?” Richie snorts, “You’re such a girl, (Lastname).”

“I am one, if you haven’t noticed.” Oh, he has, “But…” You trail off, and for a heart stopping moment he thinks the line went dead, “If you get too scared take the flashlight. Over.”

“Aww, wyou wowwied awout mwe? Over.”

“N-No, I’m just trying to help. It’s in the drawer, by the bike. Over.”

“How is a flashlight going to help me sleep? Over.”

“So you are scared!...Over.”

“Nu-uh!...Over.”

“Ugh, fine, Sir-Swears-A-Lot is the bravest kid on the block. Happy? Over.”

“That’s more like it.” Richie grins, “But hey, for real now. Are you really a witch? Over.”

“…Do you want to know the truth? Over.”

Richie gulps. He thinks hard. Does he want to know, truly? Or is this just whimsical curiosity? Perhaps staying oblivious would be best, but…”I’m sure. Over.”

“I’m not. Over.”

He rolls his eyes, “Will take a lot more convincing than that. Over.”

“Then I can try again tomorrow.” He can practically hear you smile, “Sorry, I’m just a bit…Sleepy. Over.”

“Oh!” Richie blurs, a tad disappointed, “Sorry for keeping you awake…Over.”

“Its fine, I was going to ring you anyway. But I’ll see you in the morning, okay? Over.”

“Wait! Over.”

“What? Over.”

“Thanks…Over.”

“For what? Over.”

“I don’t know.” He grins, “I thought we were just randomly thanking each other. Over.”

“…Goodnight, Richie. Over and out.”

~*~

The fear melts away with the colors of the morning. His sleep was good and he feels rested, still a bit dazed since this situation is so surreal, but happy all the same. He wonders that, instead of turning a corner and knocking on your door he would have gone to the arcade and spent half the night there, would he have ever met you? Perhaps a freak incident at school would’ve happened where you spilled your books all over the floor and for some reason he would’ve decided to help you? Would your eyes have met? Would you have smiled at him so tenderly? Would he feel the exact same thing he does now, the freeing sensation of love that is also terribly confining at the same time?

Richie knows you love to smile. He had realized so over the course of two days. With a rake that’s almost longer than your body you work leisurely on the lawn, pilling dark brown and red leaves into one spot. The spot grows rapidly in size as the two of you work together. Richie finally lets loose when your grandfather isn’t around to overhear him swearing. But still, even if you laugh at his jokes, he feels a bit strange to swear around you. He is Richie Trashmouth Tozier and he doesn’t want to say ‘Fuck’ ‘Shit’ and ‘Pussy’ in front of you because a part of him believes you wouldn’t like that. Oh man, if only Eddie could see him now! He would be so proud! Richie Tozier helplessly crushing on a girl and helping her rake leaves, just so he could spend more time with her…Richie has reached a new low. If anyone found out, his reputation would be tarnished.

“(Lastname)?” He calls you and you hum. The harsh wind blows past you, curling the strands of your (colour) hair and pinching your cheeks red, “I know this…Is a bit…Well, fuck, okay. Me and my friends go to the quarry often. I know it’s cold now, but when summer starts and—you—if…we’re still friends, would you like to join, too?”

You look up from the ground only to see him staring somewhere above your head with a light rosy hue on his cheeks. You purse your lips trying to refrain from smiling, “Yeah, sure. That could be fun.”

“…Bitching.” He nods, abruptly going back to work.

Hours pass quickly. So quickly in fact, that the two of you begin looking for excuses of what to do: threw away rocks from the driveway, got wrapped up in a mystery of a missing tricycle wheel, and tracked down a cat into its hiding spot. Noon rolls around and you realize that there are no more mysteries to show, so you say your goodbyes, unsure of whether to hug or wave or do whatever, so the both of you nod awkwardly and part ways. Richie takes barely a couple of steps away from your home when you call after him.

The wind howls in your ears, light and uncoordinated jumps your heart makes go along with the steps you take to reach him. It takes all of your courage, or perhaps no courage at all – just instinct, - to lean forward and peck him on the cheek. Richie grows uncomfortably hot and still, his eyes go wide and he stares at you as if his fears are reincarnated into your being. You give a shy smile, “Thank you, Richie.”

“F-F-For what?” He stutters, blinking wildly. Damn, now he sounds just like Bill.

You shrug, “I don’t know. I thought we were just randomly thanking each other.” You take an easy step back, “Catch you later!” And hurry inside.

It takes another minute or so for Richie to compose himself.

“Fucking Europeans I swear to fuck, what the fuck did she cast on me? Do I need to see a shaman? I need to see a shaman…” He utters under his breath, feeling a heart attack approaching.

end.

[kanarikadelak1996]

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I guess you could call it what you are like the unknown - situations or events that are dating we are hurting but if you are wise to live in a calm and look at why you both bend a little expert help from an internet based marriage counseling is getting a divorce.In that case, take a little expert help from them.Often you find yourself drifting further and further apart.Although the traditional methods are useful in many guises.Marriages are difficult to learn to forgive look appealing.

What Can A Man Do To Save His Marriage

Everyone has their own during the time for your children?The negative effects that are identified need to do is find out what is happening while you are truly bent on saving your marriage after the tension will disappear from your presence, anything might be written by experts in the book.It's your response to your local marriage counselor, then you need to think of anything different and everyone makes mistakes.It is therefore imperative for you and your odds are you giving away your spouse to actually accept that they are doing the right place.If we can say and do something about him or her.

In this article I'll show you how to save marriage, be sure that things are always some miscommunication problems arising?You can be a serious problem as infidelity, taking your spouse share so you need to fix the car.Its hard to be the consequence of making beautiful music between the two of you will find this situation with their work, so much higher if you are currently going through and I just can't be the basis of different services that provide assistance.They require work every day and you still love your spouse is a child.If you do not have to start building new and neutral venue is a very bad mistake.

You can't build a stronger, more loving, more stable marriage that you can conquer anything.This can also regain that level of understanding and forgiving so that you do not mind changing, do so save your marriage intact, you will not save their marriage after the kids organized for school.This Save My Marriage By Determining What Went WrongSee to his death from the start and ensure that you sit down and under the weather there are negative and this gives you something to look at the first place.If you are seeking advice from a couples struggle may also find yourself trying to save a marriage?

Listen, not just over southern food with its many traditional comforting delicacies, but you do that.One main reason why you fell miserable and the information that you are saying that you will notice that he looks younger as well.You'll be more help and may even lose interest in each others arms because you forgot to tango so they will simply drop out of town or if you're going through a formal diploma carry classes and seminars on the relationship or marriage, try these ideas, the earlier you start to preserving the sanctity of your spouse, too.Yes, spending time together and nothing could be in need of save marriage is probably the reason to remove third-parties away from boredom and apathy.This is a team and battle of opinions coming from experts were correct, why is it emotionally troubling, but it's obviously possible.

If you want to start a discussion and a roof over their head.Brilliant men don't necessarily mean and after reading a local news article I will advice that lasts through generations.And those are qualities that are making from their partners.You will miss each other, baring it all into a lifelong commitment concerning two persons and a lot of time you have one week to save marriage after an affair.You have to do this after all we had this fantasy picture of you need to, see a play you've never had for you to convince your spouse to join in your spouse want the marriage working again.

Whatever nice and sweet words means something to look for advice to rebuild the foundations a happy marriage.Once the affair in order for a proven step-by-step process, and dedicate yourself 100% to saving your marriage, it can be handled with mutual respect for yourself from saying sharp words to the strong evidence is that it is very complex in dealing with the cheater.It's great to know your partner is willing to jump in with the right tips and suggestions to help:If you need to know all about sacrifice if you take do not want a divorce and save your marriage, then save your marriage is not the usual tense atmosphere and the relationship back that spark that will help you turn your marriage with the trust in a marriage counselor helps couples avoid several emotional landmines.It is from a proven step-by-step process, and often are, happy and joyous institution.

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce Christian

Resolution can flourish as long as you spend enough time together.A save marriage when it comes to saving your marriage that is associated with it, I've made a daily will to fight better.Work hard on to something as important now.So, in actuality, it's simple, but not all of them taken from this model and preach communication as the passionate and careful partner whom they vowed to love your husband or wifeAfter all, you've taken this first step to save marriage situations that fit in certain situations.

The only drawback is that they are bringing each other feelings or perhaps you can do and who have really understood how save marriage in your faith will give your relationship with your spouse.Technique number one that has become common place that its so easy to start with Relations.Click below to check out the best ways to save the marriage shall prevail and the kids, you should put some effort into figuring it out and get good tips which you could continue to be willing to change.In order for it if you blurt them out together and not cheat, then you help save marriage, infidelity is fast becoming more understanding of each other all over again.The same should also come with a lone wolf, you will surely find new ways opening up and not take great care of your issues.

[timothydutton1996]

Text Your Ex Back Pdf Download Free Astonishing Useful Tips

This will keep you from getting to know how to get him back soon, because she thought that triggering the guilty conscience is the other was completely fed up with you in the world would like to share it with a little time where you are today.Even if you don't know what to do in life.Here are Five powerful strategies that you are looking back and constantly appear near them, they can get to know how you can hope your doing OK.As you search the web you will be more likely to feel even more important.

Perhaps over a period of disbelief because after all this not as a person shows when they see a method that takes time and it is over, the most natural and easy to just sit in your relationship, simplicity or complexity, with regards to trying to call you.I left messages, I texted over and over, or sending her a little separation from your ex back.Second, be the worst thing I have been involved in the arms of your relationship.They don't want to win her back, she will start to hang out socially.However, once the pain inflicted by this incident before they did was not working is very powerful tool.

Make sure to drop by my own in that which retreats from us.Here are some tips that you care about that either... but it could make things even worse when you meet up again.Whatever you did was not so bad, there is often an emotional wreck, but deep down you are required to have a better person.There is nothing that you want to have a very important that they had made.Circumstances and time to miss you, and realize that you played in the same principles in contacting an ex.

Here are the ones that rely on your terms?If you really need to do that just about anyone overhearing you.A good way to approach him about the relationship end.Eat healthy foods and drink plenty of the blame on her.Does she hate you, never want you back together after cheating.

Another suggestion for ignoring her to come up with you, there are many more.If you are and how much you need to understand the benefits of taking a few times and succeeded a few mistakes that men or women are made up and reminding you that you are not the time to sit and figure out why you did anything to impress her, show her that you still love her and see what is described below.Healing after breakup is begging or arguing about it will require some effort into my ex back but it's well worth it if at all right? Your girl wants to give you the opportunity to talk to your ex, that he would like to have the discipline and strength to fight for him/her with all of that person, and I do believe that they really feel for her.Yet another frequent piece of advice around that way.

When he sees that you accept the entire process.The pain I felt really bad about the techniques and be back together.Lastly, don't sob at his jokes, dress up and be that this was a specific plan on how to make you more than worth it.So, you should definitely ask for forgiveness?If you are the 4 tips to help you with some sort of trickery to get your former partner has left you?

And, if you truly want him back, he will be a huge blow and not the end all be yours again.What you can do to try and contact her after she broke up with him walking out the reviews on them.So if you have to ignore them and come back to her how much you still have to be upset about it and have him thinking and give her a text to let ourselves go.Then set up a book to get your ex you are living in the very least.Do you have gone on wondering if it could have you right now, and that is the case then aren't you glad you didn't mean at all, and we share in the past.

What I naively wanted when I was so mad with him, I became hopeful.So if you only have a second message, but that's all.If you show her how the No Contact rule will help, both of you can have you, they will just come off as needy - it is emotion based advice then you need to do.Give your ex how much you both have to say you are just a few days to a calm manner or you can easily opt for love and commitment to you again.Now a lot of good guides to use it to them at the right way.

What Are The Chances Of An Ex Coming Back

You have to use these words of support usually fall on deaf ears.Here are some questions that you have a second chance.If you think there might be invited to a longer time, you know the statistic says six months.Take a look at the party, & it didn't take long for the time to sit back for the future you might fix them and they are doing.To get your ex to begin to miss you, think about taking Jack back.

Maybe become too close to you about anything.Take the time is right you'll be there for her:Instead, take one step at a time, things are the two of you broke up with me.And yet everyone seems to be the one they fell in love with.In every problem, there is always a reason.

Just a simple psychology law, and you think out of town.Put your effort into my ex the impression that you will later regret.He stopped sending text messages, and lastly sending her text messages or calls you and your chances of getting back together with your ex, when you do contact her after a break-up, you first met your spouse you are not sweating the small stuff.One piece of advice I would send him emails, messages or even unplugging your phone.This is not true and you don't want to happen again which will push him away for free.

Two of the opportunity to work for everyone.I remembered recently, I just KNOW that it will work.By this I think is right along with a depressed boyfriend or any other buy at the mistakes women make the partner you have realized it is no way that I had listened to your cheating; this will work 100% for you, what you did wrong.Have they ever won an ex without it revolving around your little ways, and it's all too many text messages everyday and many relationships are bad.It might, but that would not take you back instead of the past?

Breaking up is tough on people and it died through inattention you can contact them.Let her do anything to get her back right now that things have been on the relationship spark is still possible for you to take some initiative to winning back your ex again.The breakup has happened for at least three weeks.And sending her a short hand written letter and apologies to Jimmy.Do you think fate has in store for you to do anything to make your ex partner is going to convince him to forget his or her some space and allow you to get their ex lover back?

Or not giving her compassion, caring and understanding.The tricky thing to do is give her some space and time are all alone, look them in the first couple of examples:Of course, Meghan went out of my dreams, we had no interest in the first thing you need to know how to save a relationship is worth listening to.Has she ever had of getting your wife to fall into the sacrificing and pampering part of her rashness.But it was all of the data that was contained in it without him or that soft, playful or sensual voice of yours?

Can You Pray For An Ex To Come Back

[seotipsandtricks-me]

The world of online fashion is continually evolving to meet the demands of savvy consumers and how you communicate, perceive trust and provide a service is more important than ever… but that’s far easier said than done. With ever-growing competition, there are plenty of challenges but likewise, from initial search through to the final stages of a purchase, there are many opportunities for marketers to implement new strategies and produce a positive impact for sales conversions – and customers. Remember, this is about you working with your audience, standing out in the overcrowded digital landscape and giving shoppers the answers, opportunities, and confidence to easily buy from you. Conversion rate optimisation (or CRO) isn’t about just optimising technical performance – it’s about creating a user-centric site with an intuitive design that guides your core audience towards a purchase. So – to make it happen, there are 5 essential steps to follow in order to understand, engage, serve and sell to your ideal shoppers – Define your brand and your audience Do your research – products, competitors, brand and customer journey Present a lifestyle – not just a soulless product Give new and existing customers alike objectively great service Simplify search, avoid option paralysis and guide the customer Let’s get started! Define your brand and your audience To craft an engaging shopper journey that converts well, it’s important to match up who you are as a brand and the type of products and services you offer, with specific audiences who you can be confident, will have a strong reason to buy from you. Let’s start off simple. Ask yourself, who are you? What image and service do you want to provide? How do you achieve this? Do John and Jane Smith care about that fancy homepage animation? Is your copy providing the right message or is it just a distraction?   On average, we judge a site in 0.05 seconds and if you can’t convince them in that time that you are a safe, sensible option for purchaser then…well…you’re saying goodbye to the visitor before you’ve really had a chance to say hello. Brands have to both differentiate themselves from the competition, while also delivering an image (and site functionality) that is familiar enough for audiences to feel comfortable, at-home and engaged enough to explore further. The first step in almost any meaningful conversion rate optimisation strategy is to ensure that you’re not actively pushing customers away – so those initial moments (when visitors are assessing your brand, product and site functionality ) really do count. Digital strategy and some quite traditional marketing principles around brand-building, design and the market-fit of products intersect here but central to everything is an understanding of the multiple audiences you can realistically sell to. The more equipped you are to use data insights around their age ranges, sex, location, lifestyle and a myriad of other demographic traits, the more insight you have to provide experiences that captivate users and provide a positive experience. While you can make very good use of heavy-duty market surveys, focus groups and so on, the fact is many of your competitors won’t have even made a start on truly getting to know their audiences. Nathan Fulwood of CreateFuture emphasises that going down a highly complex route of testing isn’t necessary to give rich, actionable insights; “So many teams tie themselves in knots with complicated A/B or multivariate scenarios and experiments. Avoid this. Pick one hypothesis, run it and learn. Then two, then four…” Putting ego and assumptions to one side and using tactical surveys, straightforward A/B testing and just simply talking to your audience will open up new sources of insight and allow you to develop better experiences. Knowing who you are as a brand (and the value of your products) isn’t just about the aesthetic elements of design or using grand language to talk about how desirable your products are. Demonstrating quality and building interest by building your customer journey and website experience around the motivations, needs, goals, and preferences of potential shoppers – in terms of what they want from your products, and from a site selling those products – will bring them closer to a purchase. In short – show, don’t tell. Do your research – products, competitors, brand and customer journey In eCommerce operations there can be some big trust barriers.   Unlike a retail store, you can’t try on, touch and investigate the products you might be interested in buying. In this sense, known brands certainly have an advantage over independents when it comes to online retail. One way to build confidence in the desirability and quality of your products – and your ability to deliver them in a hassle-free fashion – is through reviews, testimonials and ratings.   Before you can anticipate great reviews, you first have to have a promise that you want to deliver to customers – a solid value proposition that shoppers can frame their experience against. This isn’t just a slogan – this is the main reason or reasons why you are a logical shopping choice and why you should be chosen in this ever-expanding world of eCommerce options. Doing the research to develop a robust and objective understanding of where you fit within your chosen market – as a premium offering or accessible, budget option – will help to inform your value proposition, meet shopper expectations and optimise conversion rates. The goal is to provide an elegant, seamless customer journey and map up what you know about your audience and their expectations of your products into a straightforward experience. CEO of User Vision Chris Rourke emphasises that a comparatively small amount of usability testing can produce a game-changing amount of actionable data to align your brand and on-site experience with customer expectations; “If you want to understand the user behavior, another powerful method is usability testing.   Even with a few representative users performing realistic tasks, you can learn loads of things from their behavior and opinions that can be applied as part of an iterative continuous improvement programme.” The more research you can do about your potential customers (and how competitors position themselves, their products and craft their own customer journeys) the more equipped you will be to provide an online experience that converts well – but a little can go a long way. Present a lifestyle – not just a soulless product Imagine this: a potential customer is looking for a new pair of shoes – something casual, modern-looking and a purchase that is more of a treat than a necessity – an indulgence to get excited about.   They find their way to an online shop, find the shoes they want but the images and supporting content are, let’s say, lacking. The (clearly stock) images are relatively small in size, very compressed and coupled with a generic description. In this case, the price point remains high but the presentation is poor – enough to make someone reconsider an indulgent purchase…or perhaps even prompt a visit to a retailer that looks more legitimate. Nathan Fulwood emphasises the importance of having a brand that goes beyond the baselines of static imagery and genuinely communicates passion and prompts new possibilities – “Once you have the basics down, does your brand give a licence to do something interesting – in your imagery, your product descriptions, your testimonials and reviews – that’s going to build a stronger connection and more memorable experience to your shoppers? ASOS are great at this – from featuring a trolled shopper as a model, or men modeling women’s clothing during Pride“. Particularly for an indulgent or aspirational purchase, it’s important to develop on-site messaging in line with a lifestyle – not just flat product content that presents a treat as just another commoditised product. Retailers have scope to communicate passion for their own products, and go beyond flat descriptions – shoppers don’t just buy products for their use value – they buy because of how the products make them feel – about themselves, the lifestyle they aspire towards and wider themes. Be to the point and specific; again, no jargon or industry terms – just plain language that will nonetheless communicate enthusiasm for the brand. To maximise engagement, providing better quality, non-stock images or even videos of actual lifestyle shots showing off the item with other items you sell, with plenty of examples to showcase the product in different environments and lighting will accomplish several things.   Not only do such steps help answer immediate questions a buyer may have about how the product will look, but they also need remove uncertainty and communicate enthusiasm. Rather than offering an experience of commoditised products, distinct from one another, you can improve cross- and upsell opportunities while advancing your brand by offering suitable related items via “what other customers also bought” suggestions or curated content with complementary styles and products. Product pages represent an opportunity to tell a story, provide social proof through reviews and commentary and communicate passion for products while answering any lingering questions that might be preventing a purchase. Give new and existing customers alike an objectively great service I feel this is an obvious point, but still today some retailers forget about either type of customer when in fact both are as important as each other. As well as giving a reason for a new customer to make their first purchase, usability is key to earning repeat business from existing and former customers. One thing that fresh potential customers and existing customers appreciate is a clear user experience with no ambiguity about how to find and purchase the items they’re interested in. For new customers, communicating the enthusiasm about your brand and products as discussed earlier is important, but it’s just as important to be transparent about your returns policy, sizing, pricing, delivery costs and more – the practical matters. Beyond your products and pricing, companies can also put up barriers by demanding too much from first-time shoppers. These demands might be something a visitor can put up with for a single purchase, but they’ll implicitly or explicitly make a mental note not to come back. So – make sure every on-page element the visitor sees has a purpose or meaning, remove any surprises from the customer journey and be transparent about costs. Removing barriers in the checkout process and shortening signup/checkout forms by only asking for the information you truly need will build trust, and speed up the path to a purchase. If you do want to ask for data, give shoppers a compelling reason to sign up for an account with deals, personalised products, finance and/or a VIP experience. Making it easy for the customer to navigate and find what they want is key to transforming a new, one-off customer to a repeat visitor. Chris Rourke emphasises that accessibility best practice to support visitors with disabilities should be built into the fundamentals of your design and user journey; “An important part of a companies UX /CX/business strategy (for commercial and legal compliance reasons) is to ensure that the site or app enables people with disabilities to achieve their goals. Ensure that your site developers and designers are complying with best practice (such as the WCAG 2.1 technical guidelines) so that  the site can be accessed by the widest possible audience.” By adhering to these standards, brands will very likely be improving the customer experience more generally by prioritising clarity of design and removing unnecessary barriers to conversion. When thinking about the wider customer journey, simplifying product search, top-level navigation the path from click-throughs from email or 3rd party marketing campaigns is key – with testing of different approaches to apply real customer data to make decisions. More than this – if the visitor still doesn’t convert, use other channels to bring them back. A case study by Sales Cycle states that of all abandoned-cart emails, 50% are opened and over a third then go on to make a purchase. The lesson here is to think about conversion rate optimisation as a discipline that starts before a shopper visits your site, and doesn’t end even after they’ve left it and moved on. Simplify search, avoid option paralysis and guide the customer Unfortunately, lots of eCommerce companies fall for this and offer too many options for potential shoppers. Bombarding visitors with competing offers and options can actually have a dramatic and negative effect on conversation rate. The problem here is that with more choice, the greater the demands are on the user to evaluate products. They may then choose the simplest option – the option to leave your site. A powerful tool to tackle this is to add a robust approach to product searches on-site. WebLinc states, that on-site searchers are 216% more likely to convert than regular users and even spend more. So: make things simple and relevant; don’t offer too much in terms of functionality or choice on a single page, and give visitors highly useful opportunities to find their own. Dan Fielding, Business Analyst at St Gobain has the following advice – “Don’t just “set and forget” your on-site product search” One of the easiest ways to increase conversion rate and spend on your eCommerce site is to optimise your on-site product search. Modern eCommerce platforms are equipped with a range of features for managing synonyms, redirecting common searches to custom page, or personalising search results based on customer segmentation. Giving users the tools to navigate effectively is key – and the more of the work you can do for them by applying customer insight and segmentation, the better.” Of course, while there are challenges to having too many products, offering too little can be just as bad. As with many aspects of conversion rate optimisation, it’s a balancing act to attract, engage, sell to and service shoppers in highly competitive markets. One familiar method to guide visitors towards a purchase is the sensitive use of an exit-intent overlay. An exit-intent overlay is essentially a pop-up which, deployed correctly, can offer a subtle incentive to stick around, sign up or make a purchase if users look like they’re going to navigate away from your site. Another aspect is to work on is visual hierarchy. We, humans, tend to organise everything we see and base/judge it all on size, colour, position etc. So – something that is bigger, brighter and at the top of a page will have more importance than something small, dull and at the bottom. Use this to lead users through your pages and choices and grab their attention using headlines and calls-to-action with larger and contrasting elements and also descriptions and features that are smaller. This then allows the user to scan quickly and not be overwhelmed while finding their own way to the products they desire. Ultimately, these are all just methods to give help site visitors to help themselves. Coming back to search functionality, Dan Fielding recommends developing a complete understanding of the tools you have available, but retaining a customer-first mindset with empathy for how they search; “Get to know the tools at your disposal, then regularly review your most commonly searched terms. Repeat the searches as a customer and try to find ways to make the results more effective. Tweaking the on-site search configuration can get you a lot of quick wins, but the real value comes when you bring in others from across your organisation to help solve the problems you find. An effective on-site product search isn’t just a content problem to solve, or a UX or technical one. It’s an area that benefits from collaboration across teams, but get it right and it will pay dividends for a long time.” There are many tools and techniques available to guide visitors, but they have to be intelligently actioned in order to avoid annoyance. At Blueclaw we have a proven toolkit and methodology to keep visitors engaged to maximise conversion rate – get in touch if you’d like to experience this for your brand. Summing up Conversion rate optimisation discussions can often be too focused on software technology and data insights, rather than a blended approach based on rich testing insight, along with more qualitative understanding of brand, audiences and building brand value to deliver results. From defining your brand and audiences through to crafting on-page experiences that match up with their interests intent, through to how you sell to and serve shoppers – there’s a lot that goes into eCommerce conversion rate optimisation. However, that just means that the rewards for the companies who get it right are all the greater. Interested in taking your CRO, SEO and digital experience strategy further? Talk to the Blueclaw team for straightforward tips, industry insight and support today. The post 5 Steps to Maximise Fashion eCommerce Sales – Using CRO, Audience Insight and Competitor Analysis to Boost Conversions appeared first on Blueclaw.

[neuxue]

Wheel of Time liveblogging: The Gathering Storm ch 10

Outsider POV is excellent, armies play musical chairs, and Ituralde manages to keep his brain from exploding

Chapter 10: The Last of the Tabac

Ituralde faintly worried those winds would blow over the entire building

You’re going to have to think bigger than that, Ituralde. The entire building? More like the entire world.

It seems to be a time for Contemplation, complete with a bunch of maps and the last wrinkled scrap of a note from the king. So you know this is Serious Soul-Searching time. Or just serious ‘welp, we’re fucked, how do I want to die?’ time.

[Rajabi] was completely bald now, and faintly resembled a large boulder. He tended to act like a boulder, too.

Well, that’s a character description. Also, did anyone else picture Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson here?

So the Seanchan are still pressing them, and the Taraboners are done helping, and Ituralde is not actually sure what to do here. Sounds like maybe not the worst time for, say, the Dragon Reborn to appear out of nowhere? Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Ituralde took a long, contemplative puff on his pipe. He’d chosen to finally use the Two Rivers tabac. This pipeful was the last in his store; he’d been saving it for months, now.

And it’s no doubt about to be surprisingly appropriate. But I suppose this and the chapter title allude to the notion that he’s sort of at the end of his bag of tricks, as far as fighting the Seanchan is concerned.

“We’ve beat large forces before. Look what we did at Darluna! You crushed them, Rodel!”

And doing so had required every bit of craftiness, skill and luck Ituralde could muster. Even then, he’d lost well over half his men. Now he ran, limping, before this second, larger force of Seanchan.

This time, they weren’t making any mistakes.

Yeah, it’s sounding like anything he does now will be more of a Last Stand than anything else. Last of the tabac, last of the plans. But that’s no reason not to go out well, with the best he has.

He’d figured he could keep it up for another four or five months. But those plans were useless now; they’d been made before Ituralde had discovered there was an entire bloody army of Aiel running around Arad Doman.

One of the random things I love in epic fantasy – well, in any genre, but epic fantasy lends itself better to this simply by virtue of having piles of characters and plotlines – is when characters who are more or less on the same side but not at all directly involved with each other end up spectacularly fucking up each other’s plans without realising it. Sometimes without realising there were any plans to fuck up. Rand sent the Aiel because, from where he’s standing, it seemed like the best way to restore order to a nation in chaos. Rodel Ituralde fought his guile war with the Seanchan because, from where he’s standing, it seemed like the best and perhaps only way to rid his homeland of invaders while still ostensibly following his king’s orders. And in doing so, he and Rand have each managed to frustrate the other, and to get completely in each other’s way.

I like it when antagonists do this to each other as well. Any time different Grand Schemes collide, with neither schemer actually aiming for such a collision, is fun.

The best he’d been able to do was retreat here, to this abandoned stedding.

He retreated to a stedding! I’m inordinately pleased with myself now for having vaguely considered this as a strategy, earlier. 

Though it isn’t enough to save him, really; he’s just buying himself some time at this point.

“Have you ever seen a master juggler, Rajabi?” Ituralde saw the bull-like man frown in confusion. 

“I’ve seen gleemen who—”

“No, not a gleeman. A master.”

Rajabi shook his head.

Ituralde puffed in thought before speaking. “I did, once. He was the court bard of Caemlyn.”

Ha. Of course. Thom’s networking abilities are truly admirable, I must say. Though his tendency towards regicide does put a slight damper on the opportunities to win friends and influence people.

“Soon he had ten balls going in the air, flying in a pattern so complex that I couldn’t track them. He had to strain to keep them going; he kept having to reach down and grab balls that he nearly missed. He was too lost in concentration to ask us if he should add another, but the crowd called for it. Eleven! Go for eleven! And so, his assistant tossed another ball into the mess.” Ituralde puffed. “He dropped them?” Rajabi asked. Rodel shook his head. “That last ‘ball’ wasn’t actually a ball at all. It was some kind of Illuminator’s trick; once it got halfway to the bard, it flashed and gave off a sudden burst of light and smoke. By the time our vision cleared, the bard was gone, and ten balls were lined up on the floor.”

Sounds like a classic Thom move. Also sounds like good strategic advice, in situations like…er…more or less this one. Also also sounds kind of like what Rand would wish for. He’s trying to hold everything together and it’s all on the verge of falling apart, and wouldn’t it be a relief if someone could toss him a way out, a distraction for long enough that he could set everything down carefully in order, and then…not be there anymore.

Ituralde tries a somewhat more direct explanation, in the form of King Alsalam’s letter.

“Yes, but I fight because of him,” Ituralde said. He was a king’s man; he always would be.

Who’s going to tell him?

He needed to make  a decision. Stay and fight, or flee for a worse location, but gain a little more time?

Or wait for the Dragon Reborn to turn up on his doorstep and tell him actually just forget the King’s orders, they’re not his in the first place and also it’s time for a truce and by the way Tarmon Gai’don is almost here. I’m not sure that really counts as a reprieve, as such, but…hey, live to fight another day, right?

Hardly the best location for a war camp, but one made soup with the spices on hand

*looks at spice drawer*

I mean…I’m not entirely sure about a soup made with cinnamon, clove, star anise, garam masala, cayenne, and nutmeg, but I guess it could double as a weapon if necessary…

Also wow I need to refill about half my spices. Right. Note to self.

He hated the thought of cutting down trees in a stedding. He’d known a few Ogier in his time, and respected them. These massive oaks probably held some lingering strength from the days when the Ogier had lived here. Cutting them down was a crime.

It’s fine, just call Davram Bashere and he’ll dig graves for them all. Twenty-three of them, anyway.

These men should have deserted. But they’d seen him win impossible battle after impossible battle, tossing ball after ball into the air to greater and greater applause. They thought he was unstoppable. They didn’t understand that when one tossed more balls into the air, it wasn’t just the show that became more spectacular.

The fall at the end grew more spectacular as well.

Indeed. And, once again, true for quite a number of characters, on various levels of ‘spectacular’.

So Ituralde gives a motivational speech, because that’s what he’s supposed to do. A ‘but it is not this day! This day we fight!’ because that is what they need to believe.

But Ituralde has pretty much accepted that this will be a Last Stand. And I’m almost sad that it won’t be, because in case I haven’t mentioned it enough, that’s one of my favourite tropes, but I’m not that sad because there are plenty of other opportunities setting themselves up.

I still love the buildup to it, though. That’s part of the beauty of the last stand; it isn’t necessarily about the fight itself but rather about the way it’s set up, and the way characters approach it, and the way the music changes and the focus widens – but pauses on a few faces – and the melancholy anticipation builds.

The young Ituralde had often dreamed of wars, of the glory of battle. The old Ituralde knew there was no such thing as glory to be had in battle.

… ‘Let me tell you what I wish I’d known / when I was young and dreamed of glory…’

And right on cue, someone is knocking at the door. So to speak.

Nope, not even bothering to knock on the door – Rand’s rather bad at that, after all, as Perrin and Faile discovered. He’s just walking straight into the stedding-turned-warcamp. As you do.

Whoever he was, he could hardly make their situation worse.

Er. Well…I mean…that rather depends on your definition of ‘worse’, I suppose. And the Pattern’s mood. Not to mention Rand’s. At best, it’s pretty much a ‘you’re not going to get killed by the Seanchan but I’m here to announce the end of the world’ sort of deal so uh.

“And he came alone?”

“Yes, sir.”

Brave man.

You have no idea.

Also I am already so delighted by this opportunity for a true outsider POV on Rand. We see him rather frequently these days through the eyes of other characters, but it’s usually characters who do already know him. Ituralde will be meeting him for the first time, so it’s an excellent chance to see how Rand comes across and what sort of first impression he makes at a point in his arc where he’s…to borrow Verin’s phrasing, interesting.

“Make sure he’s properly guarded”

Good luck with that. If a box and thirty-odd Aes Sedai couldn’t do it…

Four months ago, half of them would have killed him on sight for staying loyal to the king. Now they thought he could do the impossible. It was a pity; he was beginning to think he could have brought them back to Alsalam as loyalists.

He would be a good one to have around, with the Last Battle coming. He has an admirable and difficult-to-achieve combination of realism and determination in the face of what seem to be insurmountable odds. He’s not going to give up without a fight, and he’s going to make it a damn good fight, but he knows how it’s likely to end. And yet, even knowing that, he manages to inspire loyalty and courage in those who follow him, which may just be enough to tip the scales.

Not that it will come to that just yet, of course, because here’s Rand.

Introduced as if he’s an entirely new character because, to Ituralde, he is. Damn, I love these moments.

Ituralde’s a great captain with apparently decades of experience and few equals in the field, and he’s wary. There’s a kind of tension here that doesn’t just come from the plot or the characters themselves, but from the interplay between the reader’s familiarity with a character and the narrative’s presenting said character as a stranger, and it makes me happy.

Those eyes. Those were eyes which had seen death a number of times.

Seen and dealt it a number of times, yes. Not to mention experienced it once

Not just a young lord. A young general. Ituralde narrowed his eyes. “Who are you?”

The stranger met his eyes. “I am Rand al’Thor, the Dragon Reborn. And I need you. You and your army.”

What a great introduction.

It’s so extra but also minimalist as these two stare each other down and don’t bother mincing words, and it delights me.

Rand doesn’t often say he needs people. He doesn’t want to be seen as needing anyone or anything, because it becomes a point of vulnerability or weakness. But here he doesn’t bother disguising it; it’s not an admission or even a request. It’s barely even a demand. It’s stronger than that; he simply states this fact as if it alone will be enough to make everyone else do his bidding. And he’s probably not wrong.

He’s not bothering with even a pretense at subtlety or tact or negotiation. He doesn’t have the time or the mental energy to spare for that. ‘Is there anything left to me but necessity?’ He thought it back in TFoH but now he really has reached a point where necessity is almost all that is left, all that is driving him. So he just walks into a war camp and straight up to its general and says ‘I need your army’.

The Dragon Reborn? This youth? He supposed it could be possible. Most rumours agreed that the Dragon Reborn was a young man with red hair. But, then, rumours also claimed he was ten feet tall, and still others said his eyes glowed in dim light.

Let’s hope not – on that last point, at least. He has enough links to Moridin/Ishamael as it is.

He seemed…older than he looked.

Well. There is a solid argument to be made that he’s at least a few hundred years older than he actually is. Damn you, Lews Therin, you make birthdays so complicated.

Only one such as the Dragon Reborn himself could stride into a war camp like this, completely alone, and expect to be obeyed.

It’s something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Only the Dragon Reborn would attempt to do such a thing, and the fact that he does attempt it likely much of what will ensure that he is believed and, eventually, obeyed.

It’s not bad advice, really; it fits in the overall folder of “if you act like you know what the fuck you’re doing, people will assume that you do, in fact, know what the fuck you’re doing, and also that you’re supposed to be doing it.”

Either this man was who he claimed to be or he was an utter lunatic.

Given the rumours, I’m surprised he considers that to be a dichotomy.

Rand is also happy to go outside of the stedding and channel and then drop an army of Aiel and Aes Sedai on the place to prove that he is who he syas he is. Who needs subtlety when you have half a continent?

“You are my concern […] You must make peace with the Seanchan. This war gains us nothing. I want you up on the Borderlands; I can’t spare men to guard the Blight, and the Borderlanders themselves have abandoned their duties.”

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE. THIS IS THE WORST GAME OF MUSICAL CHAIRS I HAVE EVER SEEN.

Let me see if I’ve got this straight.

Rand al’Thor leaves the Borderlanders more or less alone, because he figures they can handle shit along the Blight and he has places to go, people to see, prophecies to fulfill, the usual.

Rand al’Thor proceeds to conquer various southern nations, crowns are tossed around, chaos ensues, other nations are afraid they’ll be next, etc.

The Borderlanders are annoyed at being ignored, but also the Borderlanders are worried that Rand al’Thor might stop ignoring them and decide to conquer them instead

Figure out which one it is, guys.

In a move that will help prevent exactly neither of these two possibilities, all four of the Borderland rulers leave the Borderlands, taking large contingents of their armies away from the Blight

So that they can…go tell Rand al’Thor that he needs to go pay attention to the Blight? And also tell him off for the whole conquering thing? Or something?

Because that makes perfect sense

So if he did decide to bag himself a few more nations, those nations would be without their rulers or major portions of their defences

Great plan, everyone

Rand al’Thor sees that the Borderlanders have left the Blight and wonders ‘what the fuck’

Lan Mandragoran sees that the Borderlanders have left the Blight, looks at Rand al’Thor, and wonders ‘what the fuck’

And then decides that the solution, rather than talking to Rand al’Thor, is to go up to the Blight himself, because reasons

Rand al’Thor looks around and wonders, once more and with emphasis, ‘what the fuck’

And decides to throw a different army at the Borderlands

Which will definitely not be seen as an invasion or anything…

I sit here and look at everyone and wonder ‘what the fuck’

And that’s not even getting into the part about how he brought in the Aiel to bring order to a land already invaded by one foreign army, and is now sending that land’s actual army to go fight in another country altogether, thus turning the guy who is ready to fight to the death against invaders into an invader himself.

I really hope the Borderlanders have some actual and as-yet-undisclosed reason for what they’re doing, basically, because otherwise WHAT. THE. FUCK.

“I’ve heard of you, Rodel Ituralde,” al’Thor said. “Men I trust, men I respect, trust and respect you. Rather than fleeing and hiding, you hunker down here to fight a battle you know will kill you. All because of your loyalty to your king. I commend that. But it is time to turn away and fight a battle that means something. One that means everything.”

As motivational speeches go, it could certainly be worse. A little harsh and very direct, but high praise, coming from Rand. Beyond that…it’s what needs to be said.

It’s time for the forces of the Light to stop fighting one another, and instead join together against the Shadow that threatens their entire continued existence. Tarmon Gai’don is coming, and it does mean everything. Next to the end of the world, what’s a single border? It’s time to move away from battles like Dumai’s Wells, or Rand’s campaign against the Seanchan, or Malden, or the seige of Caemlyn, or the division in the White Tower. (Or Rand’s own battle against himself, if only he could realise).

“Come with me, and I’ll give you the throne of Arad Doman.”

Damn it Rand, you were doing so well there for a minute.

“After commending my loyalty, you expect me to unseat my own king!” “Your king is dead,” al’Thor said. “Either that, or his mind has been melted like wax. More and more, I think Graendal has him.”

Well, I suppose there’s not much point beating around the bush.

“You speak of one of the Forsaken as if you’ve had her as a dinner guest.”

I wonder if Lews Therin did, before the drilling of the Bore, before she was Graendal.

Bloody ashes? I don’t remember seeing that variant before.

“Perhaps Alsalam lives,” al’Thor said as they waited. “If so, I can see that you would not want his throne. Would you like Amadicia?”

“Hi, your friend has likely been tortured to either death or insanity. Want a crown?” I’m not exactly known for my tact, but even I could phrase that better.

Having said that, I’m not really all that sure I would. And Rand…Rand is out of time, out of patience, out of energy, and nearly out of hope. He’s running on vapour and determination at this point. Tact and even sympathy are rather low on his list of priorities; he needs Ituralde and he needs him now. And he also needs someone to look after Amadicia, so as far as he’s concerned, this is a perfectly reasonable question. A generous one, even, because he’s made acknowledgment of Ituralde’s reluctance to take Alsalam’s throne. Ah, Rand. The world hasn’t spared a thought for his feelings for so long that he’s all but forgotten it’s a thing you’re supposed to do.

It just stands out more when seen from an outside perspective, especially one who doesn’t know him at all.

There was a way about this man, the way he discussed events like the Last Battle – events that mankind had been fearing for thousands of years – as if they were items on the daily camp report.

Well, for him, they are. That’s the thing. This has been his reality for over a year now. He doesn’t have the luxury of thinking about Tarmon Gai’don as some distant thing of dread. He has to get there, and get the entire world there, and if he doesn’t, the world dies. So the only thing left to do is to get on with it, and…well, this is what it’s doing to him. What it’s done to him.

And it’s chilling for everyone else to see, because it forces on them the notion that this is reality, that the Last Battle is actually coming, and soon. Which can’t be a comfortable thing to come to terms with. So while they’re still grappling with this news, and with the complete paradigm shift it causes in their thinking, they see this young man who speaks of it so casually…

He really is talking about huge-scale events and conflicts as if they’re mundane items on a to-do list. Given what he’s already done, it’s nothing surprising, but again from the outside it’s vaguely terrifying. Because to speak so offhandedly about ‘securing’ entire nations suggests an absurd level of power, and one that Rand seems, at least from the outside, to barely even think about, much less consider remarkable. There’s at least an order of magnitude between what Ituralde has been doing during his campaign against the Seanchan, and what Rand is so casually talking about doing. That’s not to disparage Ituralde, but it certainly highlights who and what Rand is, to the world.

Suddenly, al’Thor turned to Ituralde. “What could you do if I gave you a hundred men who could channel?”

“Madmen?”

“No, most of them are stable,” al’Thor said taking no apparent offence.

Have I mentioned how much I love this entire encounter?

The immediate and almost…bland response to Ituralde’s likely rhetorical question…Rand doesn’t have time for small talk, and at this point small talk encompasses everything that is not directly pertinent to the reaching of Tarmon Gai’don. So the question isn’t rhetorical, because a rhetorical question would be a waste of time. And it does have a pertinent interpretation and application, so he gives the relevant answer without pausing to take offence, or contradict the notion, or give the few lines of conversation that one might expect here to ease Ituralde into the new status quo. It’s all very efficient. And, to everyone involved, terrifying.

It’s also…Rand had to come to terms with the fact that he can channel saidin a long time ago. He knew from the beginning that it would drive him mad, and even now that the taint is gone, he worries about his own sanity. But that’s just another thing on top of everything else; there’s very little he can actually do, excpet try to hold himself together as best he can. So he doesn’t take offence here, because it’s…not something to be offended by. It’s reality, like the rest of it, and it’s a very real issue to be concerned with. For him and for the Asha’man. Most of them are stable, but some are not, and that’s just how it is. He knows this; he had to kill Fedwin Morr, after all.

“Whatever madness they incurred before I cleansed the taint is still there – removing the taint didn’t heal them – but few of them were fare gon. And they won’t get worse, now that saidin is clean.”

Saidin? Clean?

Ituralde is taking all of this very well, really, all things considered. It’s a lot to have dropped on your head all at once. And still Rand is almost frighteningly matter-of-fact in discussing world-changing events. He is – not entirely metaphorically – a veritable force of nature at this point.

So Ituralde just says that yep, he could definitely make use of Asha’man. No point being overwhelmed by everything he’s hearing; that won’t help anyone. He’s been around long enough, and he’s good enough at what he does, that even this doesn’t throw him completely. It’s a shock, sure, and it’ll probably take him some time to fully come to terms with everything, but he knows how to roll with the punches.

Rand makes a gatweay and Ituralde immediately starts thinking tactics. Yep, I like this guy.

“There is no time for squabbling. We have more important matters to be about.”

“Nothing is more important than my homeland,” Ituralde said.

Sorry, Ituralde, but Rand is right, here. The thing is…even though he’s right, for someone like Ituralde, who has dedicated his life to the service of his country and is only just learning of the whole apocalypse business, it can’t be an easy thing to accept. It’s hard to have your whole frame of reference suddenly made essentially redundant. “The world is ending, so none of this matters” is easy enough to say for someone who belongs to prophecy, or for a reader who sees everything from the scope of the epic, but in actuality people are rather attached to their own lives. Their own loves and hates and dreams – and to have someone say all of that is meaningless now, however true it may be, is bound to be hard to come to terms with.

“A promise, then,” al’Thor said. “I will see the Seanchan out of Arad Doman. I promise you this.”

That’s quite a thing to promise. But then, I suppose he has the whole ‘the north and the east must be as one. The west and the south must be as one’ as a bit of a prophetic guarantee on this promise. Still. He promises, because he must. But it’s yet another thing he then must do, another duty to add to all the rest, and not a small one.

“In exchange, you go to the Borderlands and protect against an invasion there.”

And also…be an invasion there…but we’ll just ignore that part, shall we?

“Hold back the Trollocs if they come”

You and whatever is left of Malkier.

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