disabled, unemployed, and in need of help
i know ive been asking for a lot of help but when you get left out in the cold by your employer after a bad relapse of a chronic illness, it's not so easy to get back on your feet in a swift manner. this is me simply asking for help maintaining a general fund to survive until i either find new employment or start to make some headway on applying for ssdi.
i am physically and mentally incapable of working a normal full time job but continue the endless process of appealing and getting rejected for disability because my condition spends "significant amounts of time in remission" which is all fine and good until it comes back to bite me even harder and i end up dropping the ball on responsibilities bc i can barely walk or get out of bed.
i know many of us are struggling in similar ways, i don't expect a lot but just enough to keep me floating until i can find secure income once again. im sorry that my many failures and shortcomings have led to me being an e-beggar likes this. i know you'd rather not see me doing this. i don't want to be doing it either. but i also don't want to starve or end up homeless because of a bad couple of months. no one should have to go through that. and i especially am keen to not repeat that experience ever again.
if there is anything you can do to help a seriously chronically ill trans woman with a scrambled and broken brain i would greatly appreciate it. i will return the favor whenever i have the means. we are in this together and all that. i love you, please help or share if you can. I am setting a short-term target of $600 since this seems like a reasonable nest to safely carry me to my next paycheck.
0/600
paypal link
venmo link
$claireol on the cash app
bandcamp page to buy my music (material exchange of goods and services)
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assume it done now, not in the future . • °
never wait or forget to assume u are ALREADY the desired version of urself in the NOW. dont think/assume: "ill buy this AFTER i manifest $1000" or "they would be crushing on me WHEN i get my glow up".
dont forget that the goal is to assume it NOW.
there is only the present and your job is to always claim your desire as done in the NOW.
DO NOT think/visualize from (embody/assume) the state of “waiting” for it!
DO NOT identify w the version of you who is not already experiencing it!
when you think about a desire, immediately see the world/think as the one who has it already. if not, (if you immediately think of it as the person who is waiting for it), dont stress, just shift into the state/embody the one who has it NOW. you manifest who you choose to be so thoughts never matter because they are part of the 3d, therefore they are always neutral. there is only the present so if you thought “im waiting until i get my sp to do this” 5 seconds ago, it doesnt matter because your job is to be the one who has it NOW. if you think about that thought you had 5 seconds ago, you are thinking about it in the NOW. there is only the NOW/the PRESENT. focus on getting into the state of having it already in the present moment. dont focus on what you thought of / assumed in the “past” because it has no effect on you unless you assume it does.
you are not making a mental list of things you want to manifest for the future, you are checking off the list the MOMENT you make the list!
do not be in the state of waiting for it. waiting for what when the only source of power is you? fulfill yourself the moment you want it. now you no longer want it, now you have/are it!
YOU DESIRE YOUR IDEAL BODY (as an example)
you go to the store and assume “when i get my ideal body, i will fit in all these clothes”
you stop and realize that by accepting / identifying with this assumption, you are voluntary being in the state of not having your ideal body yet and therefore, waiting for it.
since youre educated on the law now, you know that your job is to assume/know its done now! so you decide not to accept that previous assumption that implied youre waiting. you instead decide to shift into the mindset of person who already has their desired body.
what would they think? what would they do? how would they act? how would people treat them? how would they see the world? BE that person in IMAGINATION. visualize, affirm, do inner convos, use whatever technique you want to experience it in imagination. do it to satisfy yourself without worrying about the 3d. remove the 3d from the equation and focus on feeling good as you experience having your desire.
you imagine doing exactly what you wanted: buying pretty clothes from the store because you already have your desired body; feeling confident and free in your body and having fun trying out clothes and paying for them. once you are satisfied from imagining yourself confidently buying your perfect clothes to match your perfect body, you walk out of the store satisfied because you know you already have your desired body since you just experienced it and fulfilled yourself.
you didnt need to buy clothes in the 3d, you didnt need to physically walk in the store with confidence. you dont need to take any action in the 3d. you just need to know its done and fulfilled in imagination. once you are fulfilled, you will notice that nothing in the 3d matters because you really do feel that its done.
later on, you continue to embody the version of you who has that desired body. you imagine walking in school with those pretty clothes on your perfect body while your friends compliment you; this makes you feel confident in your body. you continue to be satisfied with this feeling, with this knowing.
make it yours instantly. assume it done NOW! manifestation is not a process, its a choice. you always choose to BE some version of you in the now. if you are waiting, its simply because you are being the version of you who is waiting. notice how you are always BEING a version of you? so assume it NOW, not in the future. there is no time like the PRESENT.
kisses, jani𖥔
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Arkham Knight Relationship HCS !! <3
( light nsfw, mostly SFW tho!! )
literally my wife ( i made this pic idc abt creds i just wanna talk abt it)
SFW !! <3
dying on this hill when i say basically any red hood would be soo yummy with a civilian or just someone who is extremely balanced.
im a red hood needs more fucking normalcy in his life TRUTHER.
relationship starts off slow, romantic and platonic, you need to be patient with him long enough for him to get over his mental dilemmas to feel ANY-TYPE of way towards you.
more then like 6 months lets be real yall
his way of bonding is quality time. ill die on this hill, especially at the start of the relationship. Nothing huge maybe just spending a couple extra minutes around you before leaving.
next is probably gift giving, esp with early relations, probably just gonna order you food or put fifty bucks on your countertop. you dont even notice until you realize you find a fifty around the last place he was standing. expect deliveries from R.H whenever he feels bad for something.
doesn't like being around for too long, feels like he's messing up something. ruining your day by keeping you up late (he was there for fifteen minutes), ruining your mood, (there was an awkward silence for like 30 seconds.)
not a overly conscious thought process though, he feels physically he isn’t supposed to be there. for whatever subconscious thing he picked up on, a awkward silence, or hes been there 15 minutes too long or something
well sometimes he'll mentally beat himself up.
he spirals a lot, needs someone to pull him out of that.
i think when he needs to be grounded, its not just comfort its making him feel alive in the present moment. he's never gonna truly forget about his traumas but maybe for just an hour or two; running around an arcade, walking around the city. just making him feel normal, yeah you BAGGED his ass quick.
he needs someone patient, really patient, someone whos very attentive and empathetic. (but not a complete push- over def needs someone to set him in line still)
i think if you move to quickly, he'll get super snappy and ghosting you,, ong put ur hands on him too early and he's left hooking you.
yeah you're waking up and the first thing your hearing is "Its been 12 years..."
second thing you hear is "you've been in a coma for.. 12 years."
third thing you're hearing is, " we think a bus hit you...”
obviously not touchy, even when he is settling down. hes just not sure how to .. or where to .. or why he wants too.
please his mental gymnastics get so crazy, just sit down with him and put on some silly ass movie so he stops
when he’s settled he cant pry himself off you though.
a lot of his expressions can definitely be told by his body language, naturally hes tense but theres certain habits he has when he's maybe thinking too much, or fustrated/irritated.
but he does all of the same for you, comfort, love, as much as he can he tries
Very attentive, has a mental list of 'shit you do when somethings wrong' or 'shit you like.'
doesn't consciously make any of these mental list, he just knows.
"didnt they say they liked this?" He pauses "shit ill just leave it at their window."
so he's like canonically smart as shit.
you have too much work from your boss or professor? hand it over its done in less then two hours.
literally buys you groceries and pays your bills (fucking lover boy.)
arkham knight finally figuring out how to ask for a hug (hes been dead silent for 5 minutes) (link) <— insta reel
HES A CHEM/HISTORY NERD FOR SURE
NSFW !! <3
probably- A FUCKING VIRGIN !! HES A NERD !! GETS AWKARD AS SHIT. WITH RAGING COMMITMENT AND TRUST ISSUES !! (will still die4you tho)
AGAIN, not in a "my soft squishe potato always been scared of sex" way but in a ‘oh my god hes so unsocialized’ way.
yall ever see a big ass dog just..standing.. literally him (hes dissociating)
genuinely dont believe that when he was arkham/training to be, he was sexually or romantically involved with anyone. the last thing that was on his mind was actually pursuing a sexual or romantic relationship.
along with his trauma, he just wasn’t comfortable with any of that.
ghosted so many people..
couldn’t flirt for more then five minutes, just stopped feeling it or got uncomfortable .
I AM ANTI ARKHAM KNIGHT BEING A SEX GOD
not that he’s horribly awkward, but he’s noticeably a bit more quiet for first times.
ofc this man has watched porn n’ shit but hes smart enough to know thats not what its really like.
he’ll still figure it, what makes you tic, what you love, what makes you most comfortable.
kinda shitty at dirty talk, just makes him buffer.
he gets better at it tho, too damn good
gets so snarky and confident about it too uuhgrr
late relationships hes smirking and chatting your ears off cause you know hes gettin you turnt.
he has a love-hate relationship with his scars. 95% they remind him of his past, but 5% hes alright with them because they’ve shown what hes been through.
deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down, he knows hes fine as fuck. TRUST YALL.
again, super observant and attentive. really pays attention to what you enjoy.
I genuinely don’t believe hes into super hardcore/painful kinks or anything.
Sex for him is definitely a way of showing his trust and intimacy with someone!! Let him show you how much he loves you and how much he wants to make you feel good! Do the same to him !!
mmm tell him how good hes doing and hes a absolute mess!!
praise him! PRAISE HIM *im yelling from the hospital bed im strapped down on*
wouldn’t let you ride for awhile, but once he’s comfortable with it ,, he’s actually obsessed.
cant see him bottoming , just wouldn’t be comfortable with it
my brain is getting messy so im stopping here! feedback and comments would be cool if you wanna drop some!
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screw that pillow— screw himself too!
saiki k. x reader
✦ — notes : i am doing anything BUT the diap series prolouge. im sorry okay pls forgive me 😭 i promise ill try to upload it during the week
i can't sleep without a pillow it feels so incomplete and empty and it irritates me ARRGGHHHHH
୨୧ cws : touch starved reader. fluff.
✦ — warnings : established romantic relationship. probably ooc saiki.
you and SAIKI planned to watch a movie at his house while having both of your favorite sweets at the same time.
saiki had just teleported to buy coffee jelly and your favorite desert at a convenience store.
you stared at the open window of his bedroom. it's a sunny day. the sunlight pooled through the window, giving your room a lukewarm ambience.
the birds chirped as the wind breezed in the room. the cool breeze was subtly brushing your face.
you inhale the fresh air, and relax for a bit as you bask in your lonesome.
that was when you realized that you were feeling tired and drowsy. your eyes were starting to close on you. right, you didn't get enough sleep this week because of some class report.
you fight the urge to sleep and occasionally flick yourself on the forehead a few times to wake yourself up. it worked, but it didn't stay for long.
curses. it's getting hard to stay up. you wouldn't want to ruin a date, would you?
.. or maybe you should go and get some shut eye for a bit. saiki's gone for a few minutes so you have some time to take a power nap.
you yawned, rubbing your eyes slowly. it wouldn't hurt, right?
yeah, it wouldn't.
you close your eyes, deciding to snooze for a bit. you grab a nearby pillow and cuddle with it. saiki's scent was on the pillow.
you slowly feel your drowsiness enveloping you, and immediately fall asleep.
saiki teleports back with a bag filled with coffee jelly and your favorite dessert, and sees your figure cuddling a plushie.
'figures, i knew they would be sleeping by now.' he rubs his eyes through his glasses. he's aware you hadn't had enough sleep this week, and it made you miserable.
saiki stared at the pillow you were hugging. he knew you were touch starved and absolutely hated it. he'd swat your hand away if you tried to pinch his cheeks; he's not the one to like physical touch.
he's seen you cuddle plushies and pillows in your sleep, but why is he getting so worked up just because of a mere pillow?
'no, it's nothing to me. why would i get—'
then it hit him hard. saiki, an all knowing and powerful psychic, getting jealous because of a lousy pillow? absolutely foolish. he wouldn't feel like that at all!
this is something silly to be absurd about, and he felt preposterous; not only on that damn pillow but himself too, for getting so pissed at it for some stupid reason. screw that pillow— screw himself too!
a sigh escapes his lips as he sets the bag down at his table. he wouldn't mind spending the rest of the day sleeping in with you anyway, he's tired too.
he walks to his bed, carefully lying down as to not wake you up; the two of you are in close proximity. he reluctantly drapes his arm over you, pulling you close.
it feels weird for him to be this close to you, even though if you've exchanged kisses; but now it's happening to him— and he's the one doing it, but he somehow.. doesn't really mind.
saiki closes his eyes and immediately felt lightheaded after, enveloping your warmth as he falls into deep slumber.
you're going to have to wake up to a lazy psychic after.
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