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#so physically ill when im buying it
pansyfemme · 1 year
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buying arches paper makes me want to slam my head into a wall
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kennabeth · 7 months
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I don't want to give up one of my shelves I use for dolls but honestly having books on the faux-boxwood-lined shelf next to my little fake-book-diorama-thing with maybe a teapot would fuck so hard
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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#theres a special kind of agony in tryinf to find an apartment in an college town with a housing shortage#everythings expensive as fuck and im sure its frustrating for everyone but i feel like its especially frustrating for me#bc it takes me so much fucking time to understand the information right in front of me and then i doubt myself so i have to check and check#and double check and triple check that im on the right website. that im inputting the right info#and its like. what if theres a better place i could b looking? like i found a management place to apply to thats expensive but less#expensive than another place but the building looks like its kinda on the edge of town like 15min drive from school#which i hate bc im an anxious freak and its gonna b worse than driving here bc itll get icey as fuck there#like proper inches of snow all winter. negative negative cold. so its like. do i take a nice apartment thats kinda far away#or a slightly more expensive apartment thats like 10min from school and more in town#and then theres the application stuff. and i cant fill anything out without having a full on like sobbing breakdown#but im that way abt everything. i do that all the time when i have to buy plane tickets#its exhausting. and i cant plan my exit until i know when i can move into a place. whatever. it doesnt help that my hormones r fucked rn#or i hope its the hormones. ive been so tired. so so tired. like sleeping 9hrs and still tired when usually im wired after only 7hrs sleep#i hate it. and super brain foggy. and this week i have to finish taking measurements for the last time#so i gotta decide if im gonna go in tomorrow or Monday to start it. its gonna suck so bad bc im gonna try to do it in 6 days. which will b#agony. but after that ill never have to do it ever again. ugh. im just so tired and i dont wanna limp my way into a new project feeling#like damaged goods. which is exactly what it feels like now. ive just done a very good job of making my job difficult#cant go into the lab without feeling physically ill. drained away all my joy. now theres only a sad distant recognition of how far ive#allowed myself to fall. i kno ill feel better once i have a place to stay and i can quit my job just getting there is taking an eternity#unrelated
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itsanit · 1 year
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Someone needs to draw and/or write about my characters bc I'm sure as shit not gonna
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Did you know that in the manga Xemnas actually took PLEASURE in tormenting Org Members?
thank you for this information, i will proceed to do nothing with it unless i think of something funny or somethin
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cibome · 1 year
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#delete later#i went away to the mountains for the weekend and i had a lot of fun and i feel calm and relaxed from spending time in nature and hiking#we also went to see the starts it was so much fun#BUT#i went with my mom and her friends from work and its very exhausting for me to be expected to be sociable 24/4 i just cant do it#i cant be friendly and talkative around people i barely know for THREE DAYS#plus on the first night i accidentally broke my thumb ring which ive had for 3-4 years#i rotate it around my finger all the time to keep me concentrated it calms me down AND it also helps me reduce my skin picking#its not a big problem since i can just buy a new one (if they still have them which idk) but at the time when it broke ...#mind you i accidentally dropped it to the ground and it fragmented into like 20 bits it overwhelmed me so much i almost cried on the spot#im back home already which is good but im so EXHAUSTED emotionally and socially and im working all day tomorrow...#which means i wont be able to buy a new ring until tuesday when i usually cannot even leave the house without it on#rn it just feels so wrong i even feel a bit sick from not having it on#ITS JUST A FUCKING RING... why do i depend this much on a fucking ring idk#but like i had a lot of fun we saw lots of beautiful sceneries i have pics ill probs post them later#i took my reflex but i forgot to charge it or bring the charger so i could only take pics on the first and last day#also the hiking we did was in places that were kind of physically straining so i dont think bringing it wouldve been a good idea#RANT OVER if you read all the way to here i love you thanks for reading my stream of consciousness quite literally <3
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asfdhgsdkjhgb · 2 years
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forgot to make a post sooner afterwards but!! went to my first pride yesterday (technically 2 days ago its past midnight but shh) and i think the absolute strangest part of the experience was when i got home i took a nap
#/g#just me rambling again#frogs down bad#i went w my bf and!! it was really fun! we saw one of our friends there too for a lil bit and a few people from our school#(also i wanna note my school had a stand we literally took so long to find it but a teacher i really like was running it! so we said hi)#it was a lot of people n hot out n a lot of walking around but it was fun i think!#it was neat#i didnt end up buying anything but at one place that had free pins i got a demi flag one and one w it/its on it which :]]#im saying it was fun bc im pretty sure it was my brain cant really process any feelings on it though its weird i think its just bc i#was probably a bit overwhelmed the whole time but like. i dont mean that in a super negative way i am just a bit confused#i do think it was fun though#back to the post part tho#i wanna note that i am not someone who naps like i genuinely cannot ever sleep during the day the only exception usually being#when im really sick like physically ill otherwise it doesnt matter how tired i am i can never nap#that being said#when we got back to my house we had some food and then layed down together and like. i was out in minutes. both of us were#straight up slept for an hour i think#which is so weird to me#like im sure i needed it we had just walked around for a few hours in a loud hot VERY peopley environment but like. what??????#that was the easiest ive gotten to sleep by far within the past week or so ive been sleeping like shit ngl so that was. even stranger#genuinely it is so weird to me#i cant nap#but i did#and it was very comfy and it was one of those naps where you k n o w you slept hard bc you wake up a lil disoriented w fabric#wrinkle prints on ur face from whatever you were sleeping on#still so strange to me#something about this silly person of mine makes my brain work different in the comfy way like there was one other time last week#i think at our friends house where we were all chilling in the middle of the afternoon and i almost fell asleep on him then as well#i do not understand my brain ngl#in regards to comfy cozy or the fact that it cannot conceptualize a legitimate feeling or opinion on the experience of going to pride
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bunnyb34r · 13 days
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I lived bitch 😎🤙
While not as fun as last inventory, this one went smoother imo bc it was just 2-3 people putting in the info and everyone else counting for us
Had a nice little reunion and saw BratBoy and Cute But Antimasker, both still live up to their nicknames lmao and we saw the lady who used to work 4am crew with us which was nice. I met the lady who recovers for me and while I had the one chance to tell her heyyy stop pushing the clothes back away from the table/how to properly zone, I didnt bc I'm a chickenshit coward and she was really nice so I'd have felt really really bad like "heyyy we're vibing, all's well, hey while I have you here... you're doing your job wrong."
But she did say that I'm working miracles in my area sgdgdgdgd which felt nice. Someone else had to recover my area while we counted a diff table and they nearly had a meltdown and walked off which was funny bc I've only seen one other person work my area and not have that reaction and it was RC, yknow who worked that area before I came along sgdggdgdg
Me: the kids table is where the weak go to die and if you survive it, it becomes your domain... unfortunately. I'm in purgatory"
Had shitty (cold) raising caines chicken for our corporate provided meal and it was a major letdown 😒 last year we had subs and while I usually hate sandwiches, it was pretty good
Oh and thank god I went in with RC at 3 instead of what I was scheduled at (6) bc whooo boy did she need me (and there was no one else with a sign on for the system so she needed me to be able to enter shit and not have to share a sign on which can muck things up
Anyway I'm glad that's only a once a year thing bc my body really cant handle 8hr shifts unfortunately :(
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toastsnaffler · 2 months
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why is my ticket app saying my bus pass is active on another device. this is the only fucking device I have girl
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kn11ves · 3 months
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me: i kind of want to watch *oc show*
oc show: *show i have been making in my mind for years that will not even begin to get produced for 10 years and does not exist*
me: damn
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todayisafridaynight · 6 months
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Oh yeah also to be exact for stream purposes, average playtime from all 60 reviews is 10-12 hours, but total range is 8-15, double for a 100% playthrough. You do have to progress in the side content to progress in the main story (complete x missions/get x points/get to x rank type of deal), and you'll probably want to progress in the side content to level up since it's money-based and that's the fastest way to make money. I'm pretty sure the variance comes from getting sucked into the side content (probably not likely for your playstyle) or having trouble with the bosses at a lower level (they're apparently pretty hard this time).
It also looks like the Infinite Wealth demo is split into two (an adventure mode with the extra cutscenes and another one that's basically the demo we've seen around). Adventure mode Allegedly doesn't have proper saves at the time of writing (this was an annoyance for one reviewer so I assume it's long enough to warrant that), so it's worth taking that into account too. Anyway that's about it lol don't quote me on any of this because my brain just shut off after a certain point <3
OK BET TYSM CHAMP YOURE A LIFESAVER soooooo doing Quick Maths in my brain i might divide the stream up in two if i start playing at 4:30PM and i plan to marathon it.
ill take a break 3:45 - 5:45 saturday morning since that's a part of my regular routine and ill feel weird if i dip on it. I Dont Need Sleep but god forbid i skip out on all That apparently. plus it's a good break period to get exercise in and move around LMAO
going from 4:30PM -> 3:45AM's like.....10~11 hours... so that's about halfway through the game if i get entranced by side content... if we do somehow finish it all in one shot then we can just do the IW stuff after my routine.. epic.. it prob wont be any longer than an hour if that so stream- AUSPICIOUSLY THINKING- should wrap up around 7~9AM saturday.
#snap chats#and then when its all done ill take the longest nap of my life afterwards LMAOOOOO#jk. ill prob sleep for like. a minute. imagine if i did art stream later LMAOOO NONONO maybe sunday.. if im really ill bout it..#some are wondering Snap Are You Physically Capable Of Doing Thaat and to that i say Yes. Yes I Am.#i didnt grind out buzzsaw mill raids on gaiaonline over night for nothing.. im a Gamer in my soul... a bad one but a gamer nonetheless..#i did it for ishin i can def do it for gaiden- esp if theres an audience and i have people to chat with#also the Break Time will be a great cut off point for recording so people who can't/don't want to show up for the stream can watch it#see it's all going according to plan..... it's all going swimmingly.....#i like how generous im being with my gaiden time. girl we know im gonna suck and take longer LMAOOO WE AINT DOIN IT IN 8 HOURS#maybe ill 100% gaiden off stream or somn if the side stuff really ropes me in#also im late as balls answering this OOPS my friends came by the dining hall and we all chatted. and apparently im going to aldis tomorrow#DONT KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED but i needed something from the store#just one thing thats it.... i thought of buying snacks and the sort for gaiden but i aint gon subject people t me eating on stream#ill just go with my wack meal prep idea from before LMAO#anyway SIXTY REVIEWS THATS HEINOUS godspeed brother... thank you for your hard word ill do my best to make your work not go in vain#idk HOW but. i'll try not to be lame and low energy during stream I GUESS THATS ALL I CAN DO#boo about Money Aspect returning BUT ILL BE OPTIMISTIC. i wont let that sour me until i see it#i wonder how long the IW demo will be- what it'll HAVE if people are upset about the lack of saves#again i dont think it'll be terrible long- an hour is my min so id be surprised if it reaches two hours#it'd be epic if i could do all of gaiden before my routine since then i can cleanly divide the stream but we'll see
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oliviawebsite · 3 months
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disabled, unemployed, and in need of help
i know ive been asking for a lot of help but when you get left out in the cold by your employer after a bad relapse of a chronic illness, it's not so easy to get back on your feet in a swift manner. this is me simply asking for help maintaining a general fund to survive until i either find new employment or start to make some headway on applying for ssdi.
i am physically and mentally incapable of working a normal full time job but continue the endless process of appealing and getting rejected for disability because my condition spends "significant amounts of time in remission" which is all fine and good until it comes back to bite me even harder and i end up dropping the ball on responsibilities bc i can barely walk or get out of bed.
i know many of us are struggling in similar ways, i don't expect a lot but just enough to keep me floating until i can find secure income once again. im sorry that my many failures and shortcomings have led to me being an e-beggar likes this. i know you'd rather not see me doing this. i don't want to be doing it either. but i also don't want to starve or end up homeless because of a bad couple of months. no one should have to go through that. and i especially am keen to not repeat that experience ever again.
if there is anything you can do to help a seriously chronically ill trans woman with a scrambled and broken brain i would greatly appreciate it. i will return the favor whenever i have the means. we are in this together and all that. i love you, please help or share if you can. I am setting a short-term target of $600 since this seems like a reasonable nest to safely carry me to my next paycheck.
0/600
paypal link
venmo link
$claireol on the cash app
bandcamp page to buy my music (material exchange of goods and services)
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chiritori · 1 year
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i have never been so stressed in my goddamn life
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etherealkissed88 · 5 months
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assume it done now, not in the future . • °
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never wait or forget to assume u are ALREADY the desired version of urself in the NOW. dont think/assume: "ill buy this AFTER i manifest $1000" or "they would be crushing on me WHEN i get my glow up".
dont forget that the goal is to assume it NOW.
there is only the present and your job is to always claim your desire as done in the NOW.
DO NOT think/visualize from (embody/assume) the state of “waiting” for it!
DO NOT identify w the version of you who is not already experiencing it!
when you think about a desire, immediately see the world/think as the one who has it already. if not, (if you immediately think of it as the person who is waiting for it), dont stress, just shift into the state/embody the one who has it NOW. you manifest who you choose to be so thoughts never matter because they are part of the 3d, therefore they are always neutral. there is only the present so if you thought “im waiting until i get my sp to do this” 5 seconds ago, it doesnt matter because your job is to be the one who has it NOW. if you think about that thought you had 5 seconds ago, you are thinking about it in the NOW. there is only the NOW/the PRESENT. focus on getting into the state of having it already in the present moment. dont focus on what you thought of / assumed in the “past” because it has no effect on you unless you assume it does.
you are not making a mental list of things you want to manifest for the future, you are checking off the list the MOMENT you make the list!
do not be in the state of waiting for it. waiting for what when the only source of power is you? fulfill yourself the moment you want it. now you no longer want it, now you have/are it!
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YOU DESIRE YOUR IDEAL BODY (as an example)
you go to the store and assume “when i get my ideal body, i will fit in all these clothes”
you stop and realize that by accepting / identifying with this assumption, you are voluntary being in the state of not having your ideal body yet and therefore, waiting for it.
since youre educated on the law now, you know that your job is to assume/know its done now! so you decide not to accept that previous assumption that implied youre waiting. you instead decide to shift into the mindset of person who already has their desired body.
what would they think? what would they do? how would they act? how would people treat them? how would they see the world? BE that person in IMAGINATION. visualize, affirm, do inner convos, use whatever technique you want to experience it in imagination. do it to satisfy yourself without worrying about the 3d. remove the 3d from the equation and focus on feeling good as you experience having your desire.
you imagine doing exactly what you wanted: buying pretty clothes from the store because you already have your desired body; feeling confident and free in your body and having fun trying out clothes and paying for them. once you are satisfied from imagining yourself confidently buying your perfect clothes to match your perfect body, you walk out of the store satisfied because you know you already have your desired body since you just experienced it and fulfilled yourself.
you didnt need to buy clothes in the 3d, you didnt need to physically walk in the store with confidence. you dont need to take any action in the 3d. you just need to know its done and fulfilled in imagination. once you are fulfilled, you will notice that nothing in the 3d matters because you really do feel that its done.
later on, you continue to embody the version of you who has that desired body. you imagine walking in school with those pretty clothes on your perfect body while your friends compliment you; this makes you feel confident in your body. you continue to be satisfied with this feeling, with this knowing.
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make it yours instantly. assume it done NOW! manifestation is not a process, its a choice. you always choose to BE some version of you in the now. if you are waiting, its simply because you are being the version of you who is waiting. notice how you are always BEING a version of you? so assume it NOW, not in the future. there is no time like the PRESENT.
kisses, jani𖥔
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krashoutluv · 3 months
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Arkham Knight Relationship HCS !! <3
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( light nsfw, mostly SFW tho!! )
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literally my wife ( i made this pic idc abt creds i just wanna talk abt it)
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SFW !! <3
dying on this hill when i say basically any red hood would be soo yummy with a civilian or just someone who is extremely balanced.
im a red hood needs more fucking normalcy in his life TRUTHER.
relationship starts off slow, romantic and platonic, you need to be patient with him long enough for him to get over his mental dilemmas to feel ANY-TYPE of way towards you.
more then like 6 months lets be real yall
his way of bonding is quality time. ill die on this hill, especially at the start of the relationship. Nothing huge maybe just spending a couple extra minutes around you before leaving.
next is probably gift giving, esp with early relations, probably just gonna order you food or put fifty bucks on your countertop. you dont even notice until you realize you find a fifty around the last place he was standing. expect deliveries from R.H whenever he feels bad for something.
doesn't like being around for too long, feels like he's messing up something. ruining your day by keeping you up late (he was there for fifteen minutes), ruining your mood, (there was an awkward silence for like 30 seconds.)
not a overly conscious thought process though, he feels physically he isn’t supposed to be there. for whatever subconscious thing he picked up on, a awkward silence, or hes been there 15 minutes too long or something
well sometimes he'll mentally beat himself up.
he spirals a lot, needs someone to pull him out of that.
i think when he needs to be grounded, its not just comfort its making him feel alive in the present moment. he's never gonna truly forget about his traumas but maybe for just an hour or two; running around an arcade, walking around the city. just making him feel normal, yeah you BAGGED his ass quick.
he needs someone patient, really patient, someone whos very attentive and empathetic. (but not a complete push- over def needs someone to set him in line still)
i think if you move to quickly, he'll get super snappy and ghosting you,, ong put ur hands on him too early and he's left hooking you.
yeah you're waking up and the first thing your hearing is "Its been 12 years..."
second thing you hear is "you've been in a coma for.. 12 years."
third thing you're hearing is, " we think a bus hit you...”
obviously not touchy, even when he is settling down. hes just not sure how to .. or where to .. or why he wants too.
please his mental gymnastics get so crazy, just sit down with him and put on some silly ass movie so he stops
when he’s settled he cant pry himself off you though.
a lot of his expressions can definitely be told by his body language, naturally hes tense but theres certain habits he has when he's maybe thinking too much, or fustrated/irritated.
but he does all of the same for you, comfort, love, as much as he can he tries
Very attentive, has a mental list of 'shit you do when somethings wrong' or 'shit you like.'
doesn't consciously make any of these mental list, he just knows.
"didnt they say they liked this?" He pauses "shit ill just leave it at their window."
so he's like canonically smart as shit.
you have too much work from your boss or professor? hand it over its done in less then two hours.
literally buys you groceries and pays your bills (fucking lover boy.)
arkham knight finally figuring out how to ask for a hug (hes been dead silent for 5 minutes) (link) <— insta reel
HES A CHEM/HISTORY NERD FOR SURE
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NSFW !! <3
probably- A FUCKING VIRGIN !! HES A NERD !! GETS AWKARD AS SHIT. WITH RAGING COMMITMENT AND TRUST ISSUES !! (will still die4you tho)
AGAIN, not in a "my soft squishe potato always been scared of sex" way but in a ‘oh my god hes so unsocialized’ way.
yall ever see a big ass dog just..standing.. literally him (hes dissociating)
genuinely dont believe that when he was arkham/training to be, he was sexually or romantically involved with anyone. the last thing that was on his mind was actually pursuing a sexual or romantic relationship.
along with his trauma, he just wasn’t comfortable with any of that.
ghosted so many people..
couldn’t flirt for more then five minutes, just stopped feeling it or got uncomfortable .
I AM ANTI ARKHAM KNIGHT BEING A SEX GOD
not that he’s horribly awkward, but he’s noticeably a bit more quiet for first times.
ofc this man has watched porn n’ shit but hes smart enough to know thats not what its really like.
he’ll still figure it, what makes you tic, what you love, what makes you most comfortable.
kinda shitty at dirty talk, just makes him buffer.
he gets better at it tho, too damn good
gets so snarky and confident about it too uuhgrr
late relationships hes smirking and chatting your ears off cause you know hes gettin you turnt.
he has a love-hate relationship with his scars. 95% they remind him of his past, but 5% hes alright with them because they’ve shown what hes been through.
deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down, he knows hes fine as fuck. TRUST YALL.
again, super observant and attentive. really pays attention to what you enjoy.
I genuinely don’t believe hes into super hardcore/painful kinks or anything.
Sex for him is definitely a way of showing his trust and intimacy with someone!! Let him show you how much he loves you and how much he wants to make you feel good! Do the same to him !!
mmm tell him how good hes doing and hes a absolute mess!!
praise him! PRAISE HIM *im yelling from the hospital bed im strapped down on*
wouldn’t let you ride for awhile, but once he’s comfortable with it ,, he’s actually obsessed.
cant see him bottoming , just wouldn’t be comfortable with it
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my brain is getting messy so im stopping here! feedback and comments would be cool if you wanna drop some!
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cheruverse · 4 months
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screw that pillow— screw himself too!
saiki k. x reader
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✦ — notes : i am doing anything BUT the diap series prolouge. im sorry okay pls forgive me 😭 i promise ill try to upload it during the week
i can't sleep without a pillow it feels so incomplete and empty and it irritates me ARRGGHHHHH
୨୧ cws : touch starved reader. fluff.
✦ — warnings : established romantic relationship. probably ooc saiki.
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you and SAIKI planned to watch a movie at his house while having both of your favorite sweets at the same time.
saiki had just teleported to buy coffee jelly and your favorite desert at a convenience store.
you stared at the open window of his bedroom. it's a sunny day. the sunlight pooled through the window, giving your room a lukewarm ambience.
the birds chirped as the wind breezed in the room. the cool breeze was subtly brushing your face.
you inhale the fresh air, and relax for a bit as you bask in your lonesome.
that was when you realized that you were feeling tired and drowsy. your eyes were starting to close on you. right, you didn't get enough sleep this week because of some class report.
you fight the urge to sleep and occasionally flick yourself on the forehead a few times to wake yourself up. it worked, but it didn't stay for long.
curses. it's getting hard to stay up. you wouldn't want to ruin a date, would you?
.. or maybe you should go and get some shut eye for a bit. saiki's gone for a few minutes so you have some time to take a power nap.
you yawned, rubbing your eyes slowly. it wouldn't hurt, right?
yeah, it wouldn't.
you close your eyes, deciding to snooze for a bit. you grab a nearby pillow and cuddle with it. saiki's scent was on the pillow.
you slowly feel your drowsiness enveloping you, and immediately fall asleep.
saiki teleports back with a bag filled with coffee jelly and your favorite dessert, and sees your figure cuddling a plushie.
'figures, i knew they would be sleeping by now.' he rubs his eyes through his glasses. he's aware you hadn't had enough sleep this week, and it made you miserable.
saiki stared at the pillow you were hugging. he knew you were touch starved and absolutely hated it. he'd swat your hand away if you tried to pinch his cheeks; he's not the one to like physical touch.
he's seen you cuddle plushies and pillows in your sleep, but why is he getting so worked up just because of a mere pillow?
'no, it's nothing to me. why would i get—'
then it hit him hard. saiki, an all knowing and powerful psychic, getting jealous because of a lousy pillow? absolutely foolish. he wouldn't feel like that at all!
this is something silly to be absurd about, and he felt preposterous; not only on that damn pillow but himself too, for getting so pissed at it for some stupid reason. screw that pillow— screw himself too!
a sigh escapes his lips as he sets the bag down at his table. he wouldn't mind spending the rest of the day sleeping in with you anyway, he's tired too.
he walks to his bed, carefully lying down as to not wake you up; the two of you are in close proximity. he reluctantly drapes his arm over you, pulling you close.
it feels weird for him to be this close to you, even though if you've exchanged kisses; but now it's happening to him— and he's the one doing it, but he somehow.. doesn't really mind.
saiki closes his eyes and immediately felt lightheaded after, enveloping your warmth as he falls into deep slumber.
you're going to have to wake up to a lazy psychic after.
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