#so rlly it sometimes seems like a lot of ppl but theres rlly no one tbh

[jrueships]

Do u not ship tatum and brown 💔

[pumpkinsy0]

more bpd ponyboy hcs? 🫶

OoOoOo bpd pony wassupp ALSO, btw to make it clear, this is pony when hes older like maybe 20ish

•i think pony would def come off as being clingy, and he hates it SO much, he doesn’t want to seem overbearing, but it just happens, and he tries to stop it so its this odd cycle of “tell me what ur doing, wait no dont tell me everything” and its confusing

•slipping in papercut, whoops, but when it comes to this, sometimes it annoys curly bc he doesnt like to b questioned, and while he knows “something is up” w pony, hes still defensive of himself, and he gets upset w pony, and pony ends up thinking hes just ruined their relationship and ends up not talking to him for a bit

•he already has this feeling of “maybe im the problem” and so when ppl tease him, he rlly takes it to heart, and it seems out of proportion for others, but to him its like hes defending himself, hes pretty much in edge a lot and pays attention to the comments ppl make of him

•ALSO, bc of his own unstable self image, sometimes the compliments inflate his ego, but other times hes thinking “what a liar”

•in this case scenario, i could see pony relying more on pills to try and cope with how he feels, it helps him sleep better, and as a result “helps him” calm down

•maybe???he gets into drinking too??? not a lot but def more frequently, he still doesnt LIKE it, but sometimes he gets overwhelmed and decides to release that in other ways

•theres times where bc of his outburst, pony feels like hes a kid, ESPECIALLY bc ppl feel like they have to tip toe around him and they baby him and bc he cant properly explain how he feels, he just HATES it

•he disassociates, no longer than a few days, but he does

•he can make very rash decisions and hop from one thing to the next, for example, darry could ask pony where hes working and chances r pony will have a different job than before

•i feel like w his bpd he would also have ptsd maybe seasonal depression, as a result of what happened

•when its around the year of what happened i could see his mood swings being worse, tbh

[determinate-negation]

i’m a queer convert and ngl i also don’t get this phenomenon, in that ur right that there’s some heavy philosemitism going on, because i’ll talk to other ppl trying to convert/converted and they say they’ve converted bec of the freedom or smthg that you have in judaism or smthg… and maybe it’s bizarre to me because i’m quite religious but it screams “i’ve only ever interacted with reform spaces”. which isn’t necessarily negative but even after they’re conversions they don’t acc try to get to know the landscape of jewishness both contemporary or historical. it’s def an issue and one that is enabled by less traditional (not less egalitarian etc, but traditional in halachic observance) synagogues which don’t rlly emphasize how jewish community at large actually looks like. it’s okay to have an idealized version of something you’re unfamiliar of but it seems that there are people that don’t ever see beyond it even as they go through the process. i also just don’t get why anyone would convert if they’re not doing it for religious reasons…

theres also a lot of people who seem extremely shocked to learn that if youre anti zionist you will probably have to completely be silent on your beliefs or claim to support israel to complete a conversion and idk its just annoying to me that sometimes you can tell someone just has this view of judaism being the unproblematic religion. youre right about the reform stuff for sure. i also cant understand why anyone would convert to something if you dont really believe it, right, and i wasnt raised religious so i cant relate but genuine belief makes sense as a rationale. converting because of its perceived greater freedom/spirituality is westoid christian cope

[starkkawajiri]

im feeling better and i had a brilliant brilliant genius idea scoob. (EXPLANATION BELOW)

okay class what was the author trying to say

fatui harbinger au. SHOCKED EMOJI

sub-au. an AU of an AU (marvel impact) because three things happened to cross paths in my big empty mind:

1. "man i would love an evil stephen au"

2. "man i need to draw genshin mordo"

and 3. "i love the harbingers" and when the idea lit up like a flame in my brain i exploded out of bed

this au consists of the best magic users ever being fatui harbingers (rip traveler) because evil hot and crazy sexy, instead of adding more harbingers they replace already existing ones because one two three enough fatui for me

so basically evil evil magic users au

((before moving on for ppl that do play genshin but dont know much about the fatui harbingers, there's 11 of them and they're ranked based on strength, personally i wouldnt even know how to scale them based on their powers so i didnt touch the ranks, just switched out the characters))

NOW EXPLAINING EACH OF THEM IN ORDER OF THEIR 'RANK' starting with lowkey

Loki is pretty self explanatory, he takes The Tsaritsa's place because cryo archon.... ice...god.....

i was initially planning on making loki take scaramouche's place because i found scara's "YOU'RE INTERRUPTING A CONVERSATION BETWEEN GODS......" dialogue in the sumeru quest so funny and because the idea of loki being a fake-god seemed cool, but her as the cryo archon and overall leader of the fatui was too good to put aside

IMPORTANT NOTE/EDIT: NVM YALL LMFAOOOO I DECIDED (iwas MANIPULATED /j /aimed) TO CHANGE LOKI BACK TO TAKING SCARAMOUCHE'S PLACE there's a lot more things they have in common and it sets an interesting dynamic between him and other characters in this au, including thor ("better version of him"), strange (using loki as a vessel to create a god) etc

Wong's the baddest bitch in this post theres no other explanation

im (half)joking (hes so fine) theres an explanation

it was between that and making him take Il Capitano's place, which would have been Rank 1, and he would have still ranked higher than everyone else (besides Loki) so i looked at their wikis .

The Director (Pierro) handpicked certain Harbingers, two of which being Il Dottore and La Signora (in this au, Strange and Wanda) so that was just the stars aligning for this au

Strange's gotta be even more self-explanatory than Loki's

il dottore. the doctor.

need i say more (no but i will)

i need at least 34084 aus of this man being evil idk i cant control myself

Sufian and Zandik (Dottore) already had a lot in common or parallel in the marvel impact au, both expelled students from the Akademiya, positive/negative relations with the dendro archon, man kissers, insert il dottore wiki

i want him to be scary and feared now and then, is that too much for a man to want from another man (rip eleazar patients)

clea had to be arlecchino/the knave because. because

clea in a suit primary excuse

arlecchino's cool hair secondary excuse

woman kisser back-up excuse

theres little to no explanation here i just sensed it spiritually (arlecchino is the best ily arlecchino) + the theory about arlecchino being half-hilichurl?? or something like that? because of the cool gradient on her skin, which is rlly awesome, so non-human bonus points

need more insane, cold, calculated, manipulative, insane, insane, deceiving, insane women sometimes

mordo he exists hes here save me mordo

im gonna be so fr with you guys rn

pulcinella is just there, i forget he exists often times

only mordo can fix that

after deciding on making Wong the Director, i considered making Mordo take Il Capitano's place or Pantalone's/The Regrator's, but i was really really unsure, he didn't seem to fit either of them and by making him take the Regrator's place I would be putting him in a rank that is wayy too low (9) and considering how little there is about Pulcinella (literally almost nothing), I would have a lot of creative freedom

wanda had to be one of the easiest to sort out....la signora..... alternatively "crimson witch".......? come on they forced my hand atp

im so sorry red bisexual i didnt want you to get such a low rank (8) i had no other choice

la signora is such a badass im tired of pretending shes not (+her Crimson Witch form is amazing)

consumed by grief and anguish, destroying themselves in the process? they twin

fandom theories about their resurrection? they twin

that was it i love being normal about any interest i have . ever

[tojisun]

i am so goddamn jealous of the way you write sunsun (jealous in a good way.. like "i aspire to be like you and do not wish you any harm" way!!!!!!) I AM SUCH A SIMP FOR YOU AND THERE IS NO SHAME HERE!! i literally am in such awe of how you can organize your thoughts and write so...coherently(THIS SOUNDS SO STUPID TO SAY, BUT YK???)

do you havw that little narrator in your head or no? i dont, and sometimes i feel like thats the reason why i feel more than i would like and cant always express myself accurately with words. like im such a chaotic writer, not bad but just needs a lot of explicit connections bc i forget ppl arent in my head... (again i rambled and idk if i made any sense here:P)

fksbjbd but yeah 100000 smoochies on da mouf like you requested last time, my love!!

i am sobbing so hard oh my god kai, my little star, you are so sweet to me 😭🫶🏼

thank you so much for your kind words. im honest to god giggling and jittery with giddiness rn <33 and no no its not stupid!! thank you so much for appreciating the way i write. sometimes, theyre all on the fly, but often times im a mess and write run-ons bc they sound better in my head and so im still glad that they look beautiful to u!!!

i do! it never shuts up and sometimes its probably the reason why almost everything is romantic to me. like idk i think it tries to find meaning in anything and makes a meaning when theres nothing :/

and no pls u made sense!! i get that, in a way, but ik it wouldnt be the same as the way u go through it but god ik!! like, sometimes it rlly sucks like somehow vocabulary seems to be insufficient or theyre not framing correctly yk??

(i wanna be in ur head kai. feels like the safest place ever)

BUT YEA SMOOCHES U BACK ON DA LIPS AND HUGS U HARD <33

[redstrewn]

Hi! Its musa :) This is kinda random but i suddenly came up with hc’s on how to LI’s live. (With the correct pronouns😭)

Mhin

- i think mhin has a small appartment somewhere in lowtown. Its likely relatively nice bc Leander helped finding it. Leander offered paying the rent but mhin refused.

- Mhin has the absolute minimal amount of necessities in his living space. They likely dont rlly stay there much (only to sleep, eat, and wash). I think mhin prefers doing smth bc they seem rlly restless to me. They probs dont consider their appartment a home. They have added extra locks on the door tho.

- They dont clean a lot, but the place doesnt get dirty either bc they dont use it much. So its overal quite clean

- Maybe they have a bit of a shiny shit hoard somewhere idk (crow stuff)

- They own some cat toys and items to take care of them. I think mhin occasionally takes care of strays when the animals get sick.

Ais

- he lives in the building by the seaspring

- The floors are probs tatami,, so he has to take of those boots hahaha

- Ais probably only has a minimal amount of furniture, but a lot of small items he’s collected (maybe stuff he kept from those choosing to drink from the spring, as a memento :(

- I think the place is a bit messy. He arranges/cleans as it strikes his fancy,, he doesnt have a strict routine

- He probs tries to keep his place relatively neat tho. Ais seems like he tries to take care of his mental health (not isolating himself,, beating ppl to stave off the rage. Hes not the best at it tho) so its an organized mess but a mess still.

- The style of the home is likely classic japanese? I think the furniture is probs pretty old and shows some signs of aging

- I think he sleeps in a futon. Maybe princess sometimes naps with him there :)

Vere

- vere is caged, but its evidently a golden cage (proof: his fit)

- He lives in a fancy place in hightown and doesnt pay rent. He doesnt own the place,, its provided by the senobium. He likely doesnt live in a complex with normal folks tho,, i dont think they would like that. So its likely a senobium building or just a small home. (Still larger than an appartment)

- The place is kept quite clean,, vere is fussy about that

- The place is like a fancy hoarder house (think howls room in the ghibli movie). Idk i just think he has at least one hoarder room filled with a bunch of fancy stuff

- He has place dedicated to art in his place

- His bed is rlly comfy with a lot of pillows

- Everything smells nice

- Theres probably some chewing marks on some of the furniture,, a product of a shitty shift :(

Leander

- if he owns a normal appartment , then its not where he rlly ‘lives’ and is just for show

- ‘Living’ is a relative term. He sleeps and washes in his surface appartment. Hes probably thoroughly enchanted the place to keep out intruders so he feels save staying the night there (plus hes arrogant)

- But leander lives when others can see him, so he has no connection to the place and he kinda hates being there

- I think leander has a hidden living space, maybe underground or connected to his fake home somehow. Or he has a secret room or smth

- His fake living space is perfect but quite standard. The hidden place is an absolute mess. Like a depression hole.

- Its full of stuff but its all functional. A lot of books and artifacts. The place is messy and not rlly clean tbh. Leander would rather research or train instead.

- I think we’re gonna find this place and hes gonna lock us in here or smth <3 (swoons)

Kuras

- kuras doesnt need to eat, sleep, or wash,, so its just a place to be alone and relax a bit

- He does have a bed and all that stuff, but he doesnt use it much

- The place is rlly neat and clean. Its also quite minimalist but it feels warm somehow (its kuras himself :)

- I think his place somehow gets a lot of sun despite its placement. Like in a supernatural way

- He has a lot of books, some medical, some on history (he stole them from the senobium library)

- He has a hidden endearing side, but i wonder how that will manifest. I think he has a hidden plushy collection bc he thinks toys are fascinating or smth :)

I love the idea that mhin has a stash of shiny shit like a crow lol. And that theyd reason its for emergency money purposes or sth. I also picture leander's real room would be "damn bitch, you live like this?" levels of catastrophic, like a tornado hit it. Thank you for these hcs

[askaniritual]

20 episodes into rgu!!

i took some notes on my phone as i was watching so here r my thoughts organized by what i wrote down as i watched

penetration

my god this show hates penetration. to allow urself to be penetrated is the ultimate form of weakness. the evil man version of anthy and utena are characterized by how badly they want to penetrate and be penetrated. evil man anthy just cannot keep his hands off those rose thorns!! 7 episodes worth of plot around ppl getting so mad they are willing to penetrate the people they care about. when utena is trying to do the right thing she refuses to draw the sword from anthy. it goes on and on

to love under patriarchy is to possess 

i don't know that i actually have that much more to say about this than what i wrote down. the show seems to be drawing a pretty clear line between love (read """"""love""""") that functions as ownership vs love that stems from seeing somebody for who they are. not wanting to own somebody makes you ineligible for penis battling!

innocence is painful

characters who are innocent are doomed to be spurned, rejected, and otherwise taken advantage of. to reject innocence is to understand what you must do to operate in this world. anthy is forced into a permanent state of innocence in her role as the rose bride. etc

seen in reflection

this is a theory i'm kind of still working on but it's sort of about how people are seen. the rose frames, people being viewed through glasses, through windows, from behind glass. one form this takes is the way people are sometimes seen in the reflection of a sword's blade. particularly anthy is visible when utena draws the sword from her. i don't really have a point about this, its just sth i noticed

not a battle anime

i was just thinking about how it's interesting that the battles are actually like. the shortest part of every duel. the show doesn't linger on the fighting, and even goes so far as to cover the worst of the violence with a rose. i can imagine theres somebody out there who's like mad we dont get fully animated battle sequences for every duel and thats rlly funny to me

enough to be happy vs what you deserve

again i feel like maybe a bit self explanatory but it was something i noticed was coming up a lot as i was watching it. i'm really interested in the ways that people sort of strive to create their own happiness in an inherently oppressive system. if the only way to be loved is to be possessed, then characters are forced to accept any acknowledgement of that bond as affection

im realizing that none of this even gets into the stuff i was talking abt on discord today about like mythmaking and what makes something "real" and the way repetition creates reality which binds people to systems of power. god there is so much to talk abt in this show

[nvrtrust-naims]

im attacked by visions in the night (my followers not enjoying my posts)

anyways gonna sleep in tmrw n also theres this owl that is on my roof sometimes that makes a deep hoo sound n it scares me in the middle of the night

watched the masquerade hazbin ep n now i kind of ship husk n angel . . . just a lil . . . on a lower key

[thinking abt what to say next for like 2 mins]

i usually write these posts directly as im thinking so its like how my verbal thoughts work

like my string of thought typed out

thats why theres so many breaks n subject changes n stuff n runon sentences

im not sure how i feel abt ppl who dont speak in their heads — like their thoughts are in picture form or in some other way — idk it seems so strange n foreign to me to percieve things outside of language

i kind of get the feeling of not being able to verbalize a feeling tho like not being able to put into words how something felt w/o expressing on my face, w hand gestured, and/or w sounds

usually that happens when im surprised like shock/surprise (and fear ?) are some of the only feelings that fall on the other side of the language barrier to me

w those heavier feelings i just need to put the feeling into my fingertips n run my hands on someone elses chest for me to feel like theyre absorbing the weight of what i mean

but yeah most things i think abt in words

i have a lot of fantasies n daydreams n they always have imaginary sounds n music n language n laughs so i think those are just integral to most thought for me

i think a lottttt

almost constantly

and when im not thinking for a while it gets interrupted by me noticing wow ! the calm !

mostly i dont think i stop thinking, i think my thinking slows down like how we percieve ice as a solid but rlly the h2o particles are just cold and slow compared to liquid water; n the space between the particles grows ever so slightly

i love sleep

i want to sleep

i just took a warm shower n now im under a blanket n im hugging one of my pillows n my cat is napping near me

i feel like sinking into bed

i wannaaaaaaaa

i have stuff to do tho . . .

itll be ok im gonna lay down now w the lights off n some music playing n daydream for a while

if i feel like getting up n doing my stuff after then i will ... but ... if not ?

ill do it in the morning (i think ive already made my decision subconsciously)

(i think i knew this would happen from the second i stepped in the shower n it was rlly hot n comforting)

[shrikebrother]

rant under the cut abt like. books i guess?

the weirdest thing abt andrea long chu’s article abt ottessa moshfegh and how ppl reacted to it is that like. alc didnt rlly like.. say anything that wasnt already known. like ppl knew that moshfegh put racism and fatphobia and other bigoted or “gross” themes into her work, theres literally no way u could have claimed to read her books w/o noticing that. this isn’t to say that that shouldn’t be criticized—i def think some of it should be, to an extent—but plenty of ppl had already been criticizing moshfegh for this before acl’s article, but the majority of ppl just didnt care at all bc at that point moshfegh was still popular and on social media she was the “super unhinged aesthetic girlboss woman writer” or whatever. it was only when a somewhat popular person said “man this stuff is Weird right guys” that ppl suddenly did a complete 180 and decided that they hated moshfegh bc she was Problematic Now I Guess. like, just a day ago the same ppl were talking abt how much they loved her bc she wrote abt “unhinged women” (a term im glad to see is finally dying out somewhat) and right after the alc article they acted like they were just. completely and totally blind to everything that was criticized, as if it wasnt literally in their faces the entire time, and now they’re totally dumping moshfeghs books bc the general consensus now is that shes Bad.

again i do think there are some aspects of moshfegh’s writing and some things shes said that should be criticized, im not saying shes like innocent or anything, im just saying its weird how ppl’s opinions seemed to flip on a dime overnight. it feels like no one even rlly had like. a real opinion of their own. they liked moshfegh bc ppl were pushing that “unhinged woman” persona onto her and everyone just loved that, but when one popular person is like “erm.. shes kinda problematic and talks abt shit a lot for some reason” ppl are so quick to hate her bc thats how they Should feel. i dont know i feel like a broken record but its just so weird to me. maybe im being biased bc i personally find alc and some of her opinions really weird & annoying, and i do enjoy ottessa moshfegh’s writing (though i also have my own complicated feelings abt it), but like. it still strikes me as unfair. i also found it a bit confusing how alc talked abt moshfegh’s fatphobia in her books but not abt the racism or the ableism, which were also two really big criticisms of her at the time. i dont have any particular horse in that race so i wont say more but like. if ur gonna write an entire article at least mention those two, like id say theyre pretty major

i also dont like the mindset that writing abt taboo or gross things like moshfegh does is inherently bad. now i Know that this wasnt the point alc was trying to make at all, but i feel like its something that ppl on booktok and booktwt or whatever seem to believe sometimes. sometimes ppl just write abt pathetic, bigoted, awful people and use “dirty” ways to describe things, moshfegh certainly isnt the first and she definitely wont be the last. again, i have my own criticisms of her and im not saying that she shouldn’t have been criticized for anything alc mentioned, bc i feel like that did need to be acknowledged a bit, but moshfegh’s unflinching approach to awful ppl and disgusting subjects and her swift and direct writing style is what drew me to her so much. alc wasnt rlly criticizing moshfegh for writing like this, in fact she was actually pretty complimentary abt it, but this was the sentiment that i saw a lot of “booktok” ppl having when they talked abt the article

i probably wont talk much abt alc anymore but like. abt her in general, its a shame bc i do think shes a Good Writer on an objective level. she knows how to word things eloquently and in interesting ways and how to structure her points and just how to Write Well. but i also just think shes annoying and her opinions on gender and transition just dont rub me the right way. i would go looking for those tweets she made and some paragraphs from her book “females”, but im lazy and im not gonna put in extra effort for this post that is basically just a stream of consciousness rant. but it feels like her whole philosophy around transness revolves soley around her personal experiences and how much she hates being trans. she calls another trans woman “a dumb blonde” in her book for acting feminine “in the way she should”, then goes onto say that someone’s personal identity and feelings abt their gender is “on its own, worthless” and that gender is something that “other people have to decide for you”, which is the only reason why ppl transition. she also made a tweet saying how, for political reasons, people replaced the term “real” women with “cis” women, and it wasnt said in a way that was criticizing that, it was said in a “well, this is just the way it is guys, nothing wrong with it, just face the truth” sort of way. there are a bunch of other things i found weird but honestly i formed my opinions abt her a long time ago so i cant remember it all, and again i cant be fucked to find anything right now. maybe if someone asks i’ll link to a couple articles criticizing her work

ANYWAY, back to books and how ppl treat stories abt anything disturbing or upsetting like theyre inherently bad. i think at some point i’m gonna read things have gotten worse since we last spoke. ive heard a lot of bad things abt it but unsurprisingly most of it was from booktok ppl who just. Didnt like that this horror book had horror in it, and that the horror was gross and disturbed them. i guess i cant fault them bc it probably just wasnt the sort of book theyre used to reading or like, which is fine, but dont make it seem like it’s a bug and not a feature. if it disturbed u then. like. it sort of succeeded? thats the point, its horror, it was advertised as gross and disturbing. its a shame bc from what ive heard abt it it seems like the exact kind of book id love, and the concept is so interesting to me. i guess i should hold my tongue before i read it but i feel like it gets a lot of undeserved hatred

[kunikame]

Omg you seem so into idolish7 … I’ve acc never heard of it but I looked it up and it’s not available in my area but you said it’s also a show? So maybe it’s like enstars idk but it sounds (from what you said) like it has very unique ?? characters yk? I love how passionate you sound about it tho I love when people talk about things they’re super into ^^ I do the same a lot but I also feel like I’m bothering ppl if they don’t respond with the same enthusiasm :’) esp bc I spam a LOT when I’m excited about smth I’m into so it’s nice seeing others who like to really go into detail about their interests yk?? ALSO omg fellow Dazai + Oikawa kin omg 🤝

Also, I’m sure tons of people would love listening/reading your rambles and not feel bothered at all 😊, though i def understand the fear bc i've had some experiences like that but I think it’s very endearing (if that’s the right word) as opposed to people just not being very passionate about anything in particular

I feel super cheesy sending this tbh 😭 last thing tho, do you have any song recs from it? (still not sure if it’s a show or game but songs are always great even before checking the actual thing out)

OH EM GEE HII !!!!! this made me tear up a bit in all honesty ! im so glad i piqued your interest enough to try checking i out !!!! i7 is both a game and a show ! exactly like enstars youre right !!! (you can get the game on qooapp if youd like to try but the show is available anywhere and im pretty sure it follows the exact storyline! (atleast i hope im not missing anything HAHAHA))

i also love when people rant about their interests !! its so endearing and i love when they smile happily and get to the point of waving their arms around and its like their eyes- no, they sparkle and and its so cute i swear

i understand exactly how you feel !! i also spam when im super excited and into the topic HAHA but then i inevitably stop bc ive been told im annoying too many times to count so now its, reflex i guess?

dazai oikawa kin twinsie !!!!!!

haha yeah i know of a couple people who dont mind when i ramble, its the opposite and they actually encourage me to talk to them and make sure i feel safe and comfortable and like im not a bother! i still feel super guilty and annoying though so i stop shortly after starting and they have to encourage me to continue :( i love them very much <3 (it is the right word yes !! and also you can always talk to me if youd like !!!! i love listening to others nerd out about their likes !!! maybe we might even find something to gush over together :D !!)

NO NO youre always welcome on my blog this is a safe space !!!!! <3 and omg yes youre so right songs just speak louder than your own words sometimes HAHAH ill drop a song from every unit if you dont mind cuz they all have a different vibe obviously !!

my personal fav of them all is 4-ROAR by ŹOOĻ !! theyre like an antagonist unit but that song is a banger i love it sm

from i7 it has to be WiSH VOYAGE its the 1st op i think and it holds a special place in my heart, but i also love MONSTER GENERATiON since its their first song ever <3

i dont listen to TRIGGER much but i rlly like Radiance ! it gives them a whole new vibe and personally i think it fits them well :) slower songs arent a bad change every once in a while ! i feel like they really needed it after all the suggestive songs they have HAHAHA

i repeat myself but i dont listen to re:vale much either (i have favorites can you tell) but if theres a song i really like it has to be SILVER SKY ! i think it suits their vibe really well ! i also like their cover of Dis one. though it isnt their original song, to me its theirs. idk

and finally i was never rlly invested in MEZZO" (dont get me wrong i love sogo and tamaki as a duo but i7 is just.. the more complete version, yknow?) but i really like miss you... and Dear Butterfly ! i like how their voices mesh in their songs, they sound really good together i think !

[foshi]

Wait what deep sea horror movies are there?? Do u have any recs? Omg

hi i do have recommendations but my taste in most things isnt super refined just a heads up!!! a lot of these movies arent rlly rated well i just see the woter and im like "hm scary and good enough for me!!

also a lot of these arent really deep sea and/or horror. ill take what i can get tho fr fr as long as its vaguely on theme.

theres a movie called 47 meters down which. was good and i liked it!! its abt these two gals who find themselves in a sunken cage at the bottom of the ocean in shark infested waters and um. its very nerve wrecking and i rlly liked the ending tbh? and lots of tense moments. disclaimer tho ik movies that vilify sharks contribute to stinky things and also i understand that sharks r just creatures tryna eat and not starve and i adore them. predators under water just hit different and movies abt them are Sometimes fun. tbh usually i avoid movies where the whole premise is Scary Shark but this one involved them being trapped in a Cage so it intrigued me

theres also a movie called the cave that i rlly enjoyed parts of but i was so let down by other parts!! these lads find an under water cave and go to explore it. idk how much i should spoil but the one aspect of it that i didnt like is that the set up seemed very practical and realistic and then it strayed so far from what is possible/plausible here on this earth and i think they could have avoided doing that by being a little less scifi with their creatures, and it would have made it so much better. but overall i liked it!! the cave is completely uncharted & Not an environment humans have any business surviving in so. yeah i want more movies just like that.

i Sorta have the similar beef with the movie sea fever? but it seems less out of place somehow. but also its more like.,,, boat horror?? less conflict takes place in the Water so it didnt rlly capture my interest the same tbh. but it was still worth watching imo!!

underwater was solid!! i rlly liked the aesthetics of it, i Loved the Creechure sm, plus like. having to travel so far underwater is so scary, the premise of going along the bottom of the ocean.,,, awful and exactly what i am looking for in a scary aquatic movie. thinits a bit more ,,?marvely than the rest almost. that isnt the right word but i hope it translates.

the meg was entertaining enough but overall i think im more interested in movies that explore unwelcoming habitats with unknown threats than movies that are strictly about big scary monsters. also there are ppl on tiktok who still think its possible for a megalodon to exist Currently so it just. bothers me

i was uninterested in jaws tbh? and i refuse to watch piranha bc,, swarms of things freak me out in a Different Way

Now onto the things i Havent seen yet:

ive been meaning to watch leviathan but its .,, Old. same with abyss. ill get to them soon i think!! but i dont rlly have high expectations. same with the reef

also i heard deep rising is rlly good, and its the next movie im gonna watch!! i am. excited >8)

and then i have a list of other movies i will watch at some point but seem much less interesting for various reasons such as:

deep blue sea, eurpoa report, sphere, endless descent

tho there are some books that peak my interest more than these movies, so who knows!! i heard the novel sphere is a lot better than the movie anyways.

[jubberry]

oohkay let's go tua with those ship asks: fiveya, horrance and alluther.

thanks el i love you

Send me a ship and I'll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

fiveya obvs i ship this since this is 90% of my tua drawings lol

1. ill wait ill wait (to be the one) by georgiestauffenberg made me ship it cause holy fuck dude. I dont know if i ship them romantically when i saw them onscreen cause first of all, age difference is kinda weird lmao. Second, they dont rlly interact much outside literally the first couple of eps. But he was so soft for her, and i felt like they had so much unexplored history.

so i looked at fanfics cause i was wondering if ppl still ship it, then i liked the description of this one so i gave it a go.

Basically the premise is that vanya dates a much older man who seems to know a lot about her. And it was amazingly in character and just provided their characters some depth that u wouldnt find outside of a romantic relationship between them. (The implication of five pining while she doesnt know who he is, their missed chances when he time travelled, fives missed chances of living and having a 'normal' life bec of his own hubris, vanyas insecurity and being able to open up bec shes with someone whos known her since childhood). Its so sweet and thats how i was like, oh yep i can do so much more with these two, and what has kept me interested in drawing them etc.

2. My favourite things are the shippers cause i made some friends in the fandom who are super cool and supportive! I dont get super involved in fandoms and usually just watch from afar so finding people to talk to and muck around with in this tiny fandom is super cool 😭

Though thats not to say I havent come across some bad apples in this fandom and things that I dont like. I think thats the importance of carving out a place for yourself and ur friends in fandom tho.

Another thing I like about the ship itself, i just like the grumpy person whos soft for one person trope. Its so cute. I like all the little clues in canon on how their relationship as kids is quite warm, which is interesting cause five is basically the star student and he can be quite cold vs vanya who is the black sheep of the family.

I also like how five likes her powers even when she caused the apocalypse he spent the majority of his life in lol. Like its a popular hc that five is just a wife guy and i love that.

I see vanya as the type who has a lot of love to give, and she sometimes has unrealistic expectations of what her partner can give. Betrayal and lies really angers her, but also when her partner cannot meet her expectations of love she gets very upset bec its also an indication of how shes not good enough, or not loveable enough to be able to have this in the relationship (her insecurity means every failing always comes back to her, even if its out of her control).

I feel like five would be a level-headed person enough in the relationship to not be afraid to say 'vanya ur being stupid' (ie. the s2 confrontation lmao). Also, five's personality means she will never have to doubt his actions bec she knows hes the type who will not give u the moment of the day if hes not interested.

Not to mention they also have the whole apocalypse vs. saviour, hero/villain thing. Theres just a lot to explore!

3. I probably have several. But mostly I dont mind five being a dick to vanya bec first, even if the appeal is hes soft to her hes already kind of a dick in canon lmao. Also, vanya isnt a child. Shes grown and she can handle petty af things like five telling her shes not good at cooking lol. I also dont mind it cause I feel like people are getting too afraid to write... conflict for fear or portraying an abusive relationship or smth. Like, chill. Conflict is fine, resolving it is how u get a story. However in saying that, nobody should be obligated to write any way unless you want to! Fanfic is for comfort so if what your doing is making u happy then its good enough!

horrance which i also ship but i love the platonic and romantic relationship equally:

1. I came in tua in general not shipping anything so Im honestly not sure. I do remember someone doing a meta before s2 came out that was basically how ben acted weird when klaus summoned dave in s1 that made me go 👀 Otherwise, tua s2 rlly made me like them cause tua FED horrance shippers. Like..... the fact that klaus didnt want ben to leave him, and ben knows thats why he stayed 😢 or the fact that klaus was all over him for some reason???? Somebody also mentioned gay ben once and I resonate with that deeply. Like i get that jill exists but i resonate with gay ben deeply.

2. I love their bickering, theyre so cute together. I just like ben being angry bec hes self aware that hes got both shit and amazing taste. Shit bec he cant believes he likes Klaus (and also amazing also bec Klaus). I think the idea of them being kind of underdogs, theyre not rlly leader types and dont want to be, helps them bond together even in platonic horrance. They're both down to earth, and even tho they can annoy each other, they also know if they want a space to feel comfortable its with each other. Theyre not pressured by rivalry over leadership, or any sort of competition.

I love the idea that even tho ben is like klaus's ''conscience'', hes also down for chaos and bitchy. I feel like klaus rlly enabled that side of him, its not exactly a good thing but its p funny lol

3. I know some people think their dynamic is unhealthy but i dont care lol

alluther. So id say i dont ship this, mostly due to the fact that im not invested? Just like all tua ships so far I rlly came out not wanting anything but platonic relationships cause I feel tua doesnt do romance very well. With alluther, theyre so cute but im not super invested in either of their chars so they havent stuck for me. I appreciate seeing them and talking about them tho, and I'm def open to exploring them further.

1. I think tua canon romances are just so lackluster 😔 Idk who writes the romances but I was just like 'nice' but afterwards I dont really think about them. I love their dance scene and the message behind it! Otherwise, theyre sweet like most of the tua romances but im not super invested, same with all the non canon ships.

2. I really feel like tua needs to decide on what their relationship is. Like, just say its incest or not and stick with it 👀 Or if you wanna support it or not, just make up ur mind. I think I would've liked it better if I found the characters more interesting. Allison especially I feel like suffers from the fact that tua just doesn't want to make her ''mean''. They want to make her supportive and are less interested in making her flawed (ie. she should've had a conflict with Vanya in s2, but the writers didnt want to write the girls fighting which is stupid imo and not what that conflict is about).

In regards to Alluther, the scene where Allison gets annoyed at Luther for sleeping with someone else felt out of line. Like, how are you marrying other people and moving on but Luther isn't allowed to? But honestly, I don't mind if they actually just acknowledge it and make it a deliberate part of Allison's trait that Allison can expect a certain loyalty automatically from other people (which can tie in to her childhood being a star, and the rumour).

Luther is a big simp for Allison, which is sweet, but at the same time it would be nice to have him explore himself for a bit, and who he is outside of the academy. Then maybe they can rekindle their relationship again as new people and see where they go from there.

3. I don't hate them, but they're ok. I'm not super invested in them, just like all the tua canon romance. But I wouldn't mind making content for them if I were a bit more invested in their characters. I love their dance scene in s1 and I feel like its super a underrated portrayal of what their relationship is meant to be. I know no one talks about it but it's just such a great scene, and I'm pretty sure the choreographer was into interpretive dance? The scene had a lot of meaning that I don't see people dig around with.

Essentially I'm pretty sure the fairy lights are obviously a throwback to their childhood together, spending time outside of Reggie. So the dance scene kind of symbolized that pocket of space they made for each other in their life (even if theyre far away, or with other people, they will always have that space for each other).

The way they danced was more like playfighting than dancing, which means their relationship isn't sensual. It's more ''pure'', and romantic. Its basically two kids rekindling their love as adults. I also think this is a response to the incest, cause in s1 tua klaus literally said that 'thank god Regg is not their real father' right before Allison and Luther meet lmao. So its kinda like saying Allison x Luther isnt supposed to be 'ohh step sibling hot' but two people who experienced the same trauma as kids and finding comfort with each other (and rekindling that love after many years).

[batz]

For good vibez, i was thinkin about hlvrai ladses' love language. I got as far as Bubby who's would be Quality Time... he justs wants to be around the ppl he loves.... wouldnt say it but he is never late to meetups and is the first person to drop everything and help even if he complains all the time..... im emo about it tbh

again i LOVE the idea of bubby being like. like hes Great Friend but hes just an asshole about it. like 'you're my friend and that annoys me so i will make it your problem' kinda deal. like someone in the science team is like 'wow its 2am and i feel shitty' and he'll show up to check on them. they ask why hes there and his response is either 'i was bored.' or, the very rare, 'because i care about you, dumbass'. hes not one to Deny his feelings abt other ppl, hes just. always a little sour about it fhdjdh

tommys love language is gift giving. he is always the fucking KING of giving gifts at bdays or holidays n other general celebrations. if someones sad he WILL bring over just. so much food. (i hc tommy as a rlly good cook, he never rlly cooks bc he doesnt rly have time) or he'll buy u funny socks or a a wacky specific graphic t shirt.

with coomer its def a mix of like... words of affirmation and physical touch. he usually always knows what to say , and is always there 2 give ppl advice when they need it (a lot of the advice involves Punching, but sometimes theres good advice!), he also just likes nice things to ppl! (like all the RLLY nice things he says to gordon outta da blue thru the series. hes like tht w everyone!) bc he just feels a whole lotta love for his fambily ok... although sometimes when he doesnt know what to say hes always there to provide big soft n warm hugs!!! the hugs leave you a little bit loosey goosey like ur bones kinda wobbley feelin but u also just feel very loved (well its the grandpa vibes!!!)

darnold seems like quality time too! he rlly likes just sitting down and binge watching tv shows w ppl. or even just staying in the same room with folks as they both do their own thing. he just loves being a Presence in other ppls lives,, and he loves just kinda wordlessly communicating that he's There! its rlly low maintenance too, like u dont gotta talk u dont gotta do anything its just. bein together:)

idk abt the others tho... hrmmmm

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[dedeuteros]

Ouuhh wait i forgot i wanted to blab last week. Last ever season of ballroom dancing or whatever we do </3 First dance was last week, had another one tonight. Its so weird bc its like lolzies i just do this sometimes for funzies . But this is my 7th year hot damn. I cant recognize more than maybe 4 dances by name, but i suppose im well aquatinted with the moves at this point. Liikkeee its truly wild watching 6th graders coming for their very first dance clueless beyond measure knowing nothing. Like whaaaatt you dont know how to stand in a circle????? (Actually, i dont blame them its a lot to take in, but theres a point where i cant tap a pair for the 10th time telling them to turn 45 degrees . Like babes ur doing great but why are u standing like . Its like this - - - / - -?? Bc if there were more space it might not be a problem but if the direction is a basic forward then eventually they start running into peoples sides while the group is stepping straight in and out of thebcircle.) anyways.

Like i know i didnt know which foot i was on was important until liiikee my 4th or 5th year. Hypocrite that i am lol. But also im not surprised bc trying to explain to kids which foot is never pleasant. If theyre confused theyre usually confused beyond saving and u just gotta shrug ur shoulders together and go. Yeah we’ll be fine go get em tiger. (Unrelated i wish line breaks werent so massive holy shit)

So super fun. Being afab in this location. I dont mind dresses et cetera, love them generally, but the lack of freedom in what i can wear is ehhhh. I usually just, dont think abt it bc i like dancing anyways and im too distracted by counting out the steps. BUT! usually the ratio of girls to boys in older groups is not so even, so instead of lettingvthe kids dance among themselves we (junior helpers) have to deploy the full set of ourselves to dance as gentlemen (much to the dismay of the guys in my age group who would rather not dance at all, despite .. where we are) so yours truly, liking to dance as often as i can, gets to be a funny little man in a dress for the night! Im always nervous for the parents who might be snooty abt their daughters dancing with “another girl” but the girls themselves seem fine. One real lovely lady was even so kind as to tell me my hands were far less sweaty than most guys <3 (not true but I appreciate it)

The age (7yr) old issue is that in these dances the “gentleman is the leader” so given they know the dance (often do not) and have the confidence (a handful do not hide how much theyd rather be somewhere else) they would lead and ladies should follow (“even if hes wrong” which i would call bullshit on if i wasnt messing up the same amount). SO since they lead, the steps are such called for them. To begin teaching most dances, the director also calls for the girls but after a while ur expected to either know or be able to follow. I’m pretty practiced in my left and right and their reversal. Tldr: ive learned absolutely everything completely backwards so even if the director calls basic left, I automatically move right.

Trans and masc girl wins in the house this year!!! Its been a mess to some degree, since both wear suits/ vests. Ive been called over a few times to fill in bc “two boys are dancing together” and just had to tuen my ass back around. Ladies wear gloves <3 at least at their lvl, im ant to start bopping my boys on the head if they keep doing that. BUT i havent talked to one of them. But. The smaller lady was having trouble so i was trying to help out and stay near (bc even tho i hate the dress code, i do understand that its easier to have less confusion in switch partner dances if theyre all dressed distinctly “girl” or “boy” . We had no small amount of confusion tonight) uhhhbb uhh. O yea i was just sticking with her and making sure the partner switching wasnt getting messed up and . Idk just generally making sure she was getting help when she seemed confused. Normally i feel awful being hovery when a pair keeps messing up and i correct them bc i know they dont understand my correction anyways and they feel bad for being singled out. But im fucking cryng. She said thank u for helping :^(( no one ever ever says that and ive been helping for like 3 years. Made me so so happy i hope shes well

OUUHHHG TONIGHT WE DID THE TANGO!!! not rlly The Tango. A terrible childrens edition cannibalized version of the tango </3 i dont think ive done it in YEARS???!$& but its one of my favorites!! Got to do it with two groups!! So not only twice, but also different guys . One of them was better, but one of them was also not an 8th grader . I think. We actually had an 8th grader filling in since my helper group has gotten smaller over the years. Anyways i LOVE when we do like. The waltz and the tango bc they have, for what i assume is every year since i started, played the same shitty ass busch gardens ass royalty free music. I CANNOT take it seriously . Ouhhh but also since one of the groups that tango ed was older, it was a few more steps. The variety that keeps me awake after nearly 6 hrs.

Anyways i could talk abt this a lot more but eye am SO sleepy so if i remember I’ll probably jus add onto this tomorrow <3 bc idk its kinda geeky and not impressive to most ppl so i dont get to talk abt the lil details but its been ALMOST 7 YEARS!!! I have a lot to say!!!

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated

onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one

onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths

onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality

onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system

onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..

onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this

Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did.  I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl. 

I think kabu and minatos relationship  is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over.   you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.

I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time