#so that you remember how far youve come!

[drzone]

feeling hopeful as spring comes along feeling maybe joyous and maybe like hey . gonna be all okay.

[flamboyant-king]

I’m going through it right now

[orcelito]

like ok

> has very definite Trauma Things from various times in life > has difficulty remembering some of them for Various Reasons, while others are. way way way too vivid. > has continuous difficulty sleeping, including a variety of reoccurring disturbing dreams coupled with a general apathy about them (refusal to call most of them nightmares bc most of them im not actually scared in, which kinda rly says smth about me mentally, i think) > general avoidance of Trauma Things > general negative reactions when Trauma Things r brought up

uhmmmm yea ok

[toytulini]

lightly defending Toshiro while also fully understanding Laois frustrations. as a bitch who let teachers call me the wrong name all through high school cos it was kinda funny

[81folklore]

heaven - OP81 - final part

pairings: oscar piastri x private!reader (fc: gracie abrams + pinterest)

summary: on the 2 year anniversary of oscars first win in f1, everyone’s favorite couple has a surprise

type: social media au (smau)

note: well this is it!! the final part to heaven!! this ending has always been the plan and im so pleased i can finally post it, this win has been a longgg time coming and i am super stoked for oscar!!! obviously not the best race (esp for mclaren fans) but we got through it and oscar won!!!! super duper proud of my mclaren boys and i cant wait to see many more 1-2 with them!!

i honestly cant believe this is the last part to this series, this was one of the first fics i ever posted and its crazy how far its come!! to this day i get notifs that people have found the first part to this series and it blows my mind how big this has gotten. i know ive been inactive for a long time but i hope by finally finishing this fic i will find love for creating fics again!!!! love u all🩵

heaven masterlist masterlist

set 2026

youruser

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 11,629 others

two years ago my best friend asked me to marry him, i said yes immediately. how could i say no to spending the rest of my life with someone i love so deeply?

today marks 6 months of him being my husband and i feel so incredibly blessed to be able to call him that, to be able to say that someone i love, loves me back just as much

but today is also the anniversary of my boys first win, which seems crazy now that he has many more under his belt but its true, its been two years since that crazy day in hungary and one that changed us forever

i have grown so much in the time we have been together and im so pleased i was able to do it with you, osc. i love you forever and always!

tagged oscarpiastri

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oscarpiastri my favorite forever🤍

oscarpiastri marrying you was the best decision i have ever made

youruser my boy🌟🌟

comments on this post have been limited

oscarpiastri

liked by youruser, logansargeant and 1,382,003 others

i cant believe i get to call this gorgeous girl my wife, and i’ll be able to do so for the rest of our lives

you had never shone as brightly as on our wedding day, however youve continued to shine ever so bright since and i hope it never goes away, seeing you happy and content makes me feel like the luckiest man alive

thank you for saying yes all those years ago and thank you for trusting me with your heart, ill love you forever and always

your osc x

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youruser i love you so much osc

youruser you mean the world to me

landonorris congrats mate x

logansargeant i miss you guys :(

youruser we miss you too logie!!! we’ll be home soon and we will take you to dinner!!

logansargeant oscarpiastri promise?

oscarpiastri we promise

georgerussell63 happy for you both!

frederikvestiofficial come back soon i think logans withering away

oscarpiastri he’ll be fine for a few more days🙄

logansargeant nu huh!! i cant last much longer☹️

user66 oh my god she looks gorgeous 🥹🥹

oscarpiastri she is

user72 YOUR OSC😭😭😭😭

user6 im never getting over them☹️

user91 THEYRE MARRIED☹️☹️😭😭

user10 remember when yn said they werent getting married yet because they still had so much growing to do,, look at them now☹️

user47 i feel like everyones being too calm, WE DIDNT EVEN KNOW THEY WERE ENGAGED?!?!!?!

user64 LIKE WHY ARE WE NOT MORE SHOCKED

user22 bcs they are written in the stars and we all knew this was going to happen!!! liked by youruser

user30 yn with all the little babes oh i cant do this🥹🥹 liked by oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri

liked by youruser, lewishamilton and 1,392,027 others

17.01.2026

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lewishamilton so happy for you mate, it was a gorgeous ceremony💜

logansargeant my favorite people in the whole world

oscarpiastri we love you

logansargeant 🥹🥹 (i love you guys too)

youruser my boy forever and ever and ever

oscarpiastri 🤍🤍

landonorris you guysss😕😕

youruser love you lan!!!!

youruser

liked by oscarpiastri, yourmum 11,483 others

a story told in many parts💐

comments on this post have been limited

pinned youruser to osc, my best friend, my love, my husband i will love you until the end of time. i will hold your hand through everything and more, until death do us part x

youruser added to their story

story song added heaven by niall horan text reads: my 🏠

seen by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 12,472 others

replies

user72 OH MY FUCKING GODDDDD

user19 I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU TWO 😔😔😔😔

user63 ur literally perfect for eachother wtfwtfwtf

user90 I FEEL SICK THIS IS SO CUTE

user6 oscar is so sweet🥹🥹

youruser the sweetest!!!!

[kyri45]

i remember seeing your first (or second? cant remember) part of the shadowpeach bioparent au comic around the time it was posted and thought 'oh cool, welp thats the end of that let me see some other lmk fanart' and honestly i never thought it would come this far bc most lmk aus that catch my eye rarely go over 2-3 parts, or beyond concept art. you have no idea how much it means to me that you are working on this comic (though no pressure ofc feel free to take breaks any time ik youve got another comic youre working on as well) because you portray lmk characters in such a perfect way i dont see very often, and i mean it ive consumed SO much lmk art. im mostly referring to shadowpeach because a lot of ppl are portraying them as a romantic couple or complicated romance, but in general i enjoy platonic ships more, and you do it in such a way that it just tickles my brain sometimes. also even though they (especially macaque) act in a way you wouldnt see in the show like, ever, the entire series of events that lead to many of their 'unusual' behaviors and conversations actually makes it feel canon-according. i rarely see that and even have struggles with portraying them like that myself, so youre literally one of my top favorite artists atm for that one (your artstyle is so yum too).

anyway make sure to take care of yourself and drink enough water and eat and get enough sleep! i hope youre doing well!!

AGHDMHSMFYS THANK YOU!!! Tysm for this message i literally weep :’)

[chuuya-kisser]

im finally free so that i can fucking scream abt bsd 117 and tell my thoughts on this heartbreaker of a chapter (will def make another post feeding my delusions)

(spoilers utc)

firstly.

ASAGIRI. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUXK ASAGIRI. ASAGIRI WHEN I CATCH YOU ASAGIRI I THOUGHT YOU WERE KILLING-YOUR-CHARACTERS-PHOBIC?????? NOW YOUVE MELTED TWO IMPORTANT CHARACTERS IN TWO CHAPTERS???? WHOS GONNA GO NEXT CHAPTER HUH WHO'S NEXT IN YOUR DEATH NOTE

well

Uh yeah so anyways basically heart broken for multiple reasons so we'll go in order

1- aya. oh my gosh aya. shes what, a ten year old?????? and in the span of a day, she has found out about a vampire lord who is responsible for destroying or saving the whole world, shouldered the responsibility of getting said vampire lord away from the enemy to save the world, developed a father-daughter relationship with said vampire lord, sacrificed herself and got saved by him, believed that the world could be saved now, saw her new father figure's body be torn apart and replaced by a greasy ratass who wants to destroy everything or whatever, with said new father's last words telling her to run to save herself, being saved by said father, then having him dissolve and die again in front of her eyes again. shes a ten year old. what the actual fuck. oh and don't forget, she doesn't know that she lost her other father figure too!

gosh she is going to be SO traumatised and even that is an understatement i really hope she has the strength to recover

2- so akutagawa is back huh? about time, about time (though im not very happy about the cost it took- but atleast he's back?)and he has agreed to protect aya on brams wish? thats surprising honestly, so im wondering if the stuff atsushi told him while fighting him at the airport or whatever affected his subconscious or something so that he consciously wants to start protecting people?

OR maybe! he sees a bit of himself in aya or smth? i mean look i dont exactly remember what happened before he met dazai and was taken in by him okay, dont come at me. but maybe he sees that terrified little kid and something stirs in him or smth anyways go akutagawa go you're her third father figure please dont die again ‼️

(also he looks so good-)

3- and the biggest bombshell

kunikida.

KUNIKIDA‼️‼️ NO NO NO THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY HAPPENING PEOPLE THIS IS NOT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT I AM IN DENIAL

just- THINK ABOUT EVERYONE. think about atsushi and tanizaki. who saw him disappear slowly in front of their eyes, to buy them time. think about fukuzawa. who wished for kunikida to be the next president because he was the most ideal. who cares so much, even if he doesnt show it as much. think about aya. she has such a deep bond with kunikida, and now she'll have to face the devastating news that one of the only people who truly believed in her is gone too. think about ranpo and yosano.

think about dazai. who is much too far away to do anything right now, who miscalculated once which led to him being too far to stop fyodors rampage in any way. who was truly doing all this because he wanted to keep the detective agency safe. who, when he realises what will happen next, his first thought is to warn them. who was his new partner, kept him alive, even made him a part of his schedules. who i think he must have to care for, even a little bit.

dazai, who thinks that anything worth wanting is always lost the moment he obtains it. and its happened again. and by the looks of it, it will happen again.

i genuinely want to know how he'll react but i dont want to at the same time. gods i cant fucking do this man

like huhhh asagiri are you tryna make me cry or some shit???? Because youre succeesing SPECTACULARLY

also- are we gonna see tanizaki get liquefied too next chapter? because this panel sure looks like it

im scared for september now like what else are you gonna throw at us, huh asagiri? and what do you mean i have to wait a whole month this is crazy

and i am STILL in denial and will continue to be in denial guys wdym, ofc kunikida is alive and well! hes coparenting aya with bram, having fun at the agency and stuff ‼️‼️ hes perfectly peachy theres no helicopter singularity out for everyone's lives!!! (wow this post is LONG)

[kenlvry]

cheating prank

s : pranking kenny kyle craig and stan wasn't easy, but it also wasn't impossible.

kenny

youve been wearing different perfume for a week now to test kenny, a mans perfume. it was a harmless joke yk its what couples do (not really)

you just wanted to see if he noticed your change in perfume from your sweet scent to a heavy one

you honestly thought that kenny didnt notice but kenny notices, every time he hugs you he sniffs in your scent and recently its gone to feminine to masculine.

your suppose to be hanging out with kenny right now, checking yourself out and fixing your outfit in the mirror you remember to spray your perfume all over, a ring to your bell stops you in your track and you hid the perfume.

"kenny!! hii, you ready?" you said while greeting kenny, his face beamed and hugged you his head falls to your shoulder, face in the crook of your neck sniffing in your scent.

after smelling the familiar scent his smile turn into a frown and tightening his grip on your body "k..kenny" tapping his back violently.

he pulls back with a stern look on his face and walks past you going in your house and searching every inch of your house, you following behind urging him to stop

"ken what r you doing?? if ur looking for something just ask" he stops in your hallway and turn back, running his fingers through his hair

"where is he? its been a week,it seems like you love this man so much to the point you see him before going out with me," he approaches you towering over you. "please, i dont care how many men you want just dont leave me"

you couldn't hold it in and laughed loudly, it lasted about 10 seconds. "you think this is funny?" "IM.. HAHAHA IM JUST PRANKING YOU IDIOT" you continue to laugh while his face go dumb "WJAY, I LITERALLY JUST BEGGED YOU RO NOR LEAVE ME YOU KNOW HOW EMBARASISING THAT WAS??" you laugh even louder at this "WHY WPULD I CHEAT ON YOU STUPIS"

he sulked after that, took three days to get him to talk to you... never again will you prank him

kyle

coming home late wasn't a rare occurrence for you, i mean its not rare you go home past 12 but its 2 am and youve been coming home late for a week and a half now, kyle thought work had taken longer than its supposed to but after a call with a friend from where you work at saying work ended hours ago he goes fuming

hes sitting infront of the door arms cross on the chair he pulled from the dining room. contemplating whether to call you and confront you through call or wait for you

honestly you've been meeting up with your online friend and always forgets the time so really.. was it your fault??

keys clacking he stood up from his chair eyes focused on the door, "oh hi, thought you'd be asleep" you smiled , he opened his arms for his hug everytime you see him but you gave him a side hug and walked away. you had to hold in every urge to hug him tightly

he couldn't take it, if you lost feelings for him you couldve been honest. "y/n, are you even trying to hide it?" he says leaning on the countertop kitchen while you wash your hands

"kyle what?" "i mean if you lost feelings for me atleast tell me so i dont look dumb" he rolls his eyes "the house is yours for the night, have him over, kiss make out heck fuck if you want. im leaving"

you didn't know it'll take this far, your too shook to say anything and hes already putting on his jackets and shoes "wait kyle its-" "its what? a misunderstanding? its not what it looks like? fuck your excuses, i actually trusted you and thought you were at work, i was cooking waiting for you to come home so you could enjoy your meal after a long day at work but your coworker said work ended hours ago so what the hell? i cant even-" "its a prank."

he just stood there, frozen mouth wide open from what he was about to say "im sorry i didn't know i thought it was going to be harmless" you hug the stoned man

hugging you back he sniffles "shit don't scare me like that." your heart shattered when he sniffled fr, after that night you took him out to so many dates ur basically poor

craig

you usually never hide your phone from craig when someone texts you, infact you never did it once. you even let him type back to said person

but lately every time you get a message youd look at it secretly or get up from the couch just to check on it, everytime you put back your phone its facing down and you take it anywhere you sometimes laugh and giggle like a disney princess when you get a notification

now you had to make this believable, youd play your message ringtone and laugh while looking at your settings, texting your friend beforehand so when she replies it seems like someone texted you. to make it work you had to have some effort right?

craig seems like he dont give a fuck honestly but he is so curious he wants to know so bad he is such a busy body, he doesn't really suspect its a man he just thinks its really juicy gossip about his close friends so you try not to let him know

but after telling his friends thinking it was a funny thing hes shocked by the stories, some said that the last time their ex did it, it ended up being a man and they broke up. the other said the last time that happened their ex just randomly broke up with them just to find them taken the next day.

oh now his curiosity has grown from a hundred to a million. he gets it now, why you put your phone downwards or how you immediately grab your phone when his hands go to grab something near your phone.

that night you slept at his house, he's about to sleep, phone on the bedside table and ready to snooze, but you haddd to text your secret lover laughing oh so sweetly while typing back. tbh you were texting your bestfriend and she made to most funniest joke so...

"okay y/n ive had enough" he sits up and looks at you, your face puzzled. "dont play dumb bc i know damn well that you are texting your secret lover" you finally realised what hes talking about and you too sit up, holding back a smile.

"fuck y/n we've been together for 2 years, ive loved you all these 2 years but i guess you haven't. get out. i dont want some fucking cheater in my house" he gets up before you can say anything and rushes you downstairs and infront of the door, you tried explaining but he just wouldn't listen.

just as you're out on the porch you turned around "wait craig its a-" the door slams infront of you. damn. girl u messed up

craig sniffles walking up the stairs, two year relationship gone like that. ding a notification from his phone, he opens it and its you

"its a prank" hes dumbfounded and runs back to the door opening it to find you literally hugging yourself freezing with the cold weather, hugging you he sighs "fuck you"

you laugh "sorry craig"

after that he might have some trust issues but every notification you got you make sure he sees it first so he doesn't get paranoid.

Stan

now stan doesn't give a fuck honestly, he doesn't care who you hang out with what you do with them or what happens, he trusts you ALOT. meaning this prank had to be really believable.

you thought long and hard and finally got it, everytime stan comes over (which is every second) you are going to make a fuss whispering "hide" to make it seem like someone was at your house , genius right?? :)

stan notices quickly, at first all you do is make a lot of rustles, loud noises and eventually the Whispers

stan is immediately curious, you never hide your friends from him bc you know he doesn't care. ultimately his first instinct is to try and search the house but you insist on staying in the living room because your room is 'a mess' but who is buying that honestly?

his suspicions grew and he can't take it, he hears the whispers he hears the loud footsteps up the stairs and he hears you rushing around the house hiding stuff and hes devastated. he cant believe you'd cheat on him

hes had enough, he wouldve barged in to catch you in surprise but you have your house locked, the second you open your door he walks upstairs and you smile and almost laughed, you stopped him saying nothings up there and he shouldn't go in again, using the its a mess excuse but he doesn't care.

he immediately barges in your room and you pause, you walk in sitting on your bed legs cross and smiling

"hes under the bed is he?" "really y/n? cheating on me? you couldve told me you lost feelings, say something or atleast hint at it, fuck man." he turns around one hand on his waist the other rubbing his face. you felt bad and decided to call it off , walking up and turning him around you found him crying. you felt so bad

"stan omg its a prank im so sorry i love you" you hug him and he drops his head on your shoulder arms around you. "you love me right?" he mumbles and you hum "always" he looks up cupping your face and kisses you, his salty tears mixing in with the kiss. you kiss him back and literally curse yourself inside for hurting this man.

your trust in each other grew after a long talk and a whole week of spending every minute together. safe to says hes convinced you love him.

[mangosrar]

Always, i will be here.

chris sturniolo x reader

a/n: guys this one is lowkey-highkey sad but i love it so much:(

loosely based off always by Daniel Caesar!!!!

My y/n,

I wonder when i first met you, in a way that was more than just physical. I wonder when a line in a song reminded me of you, or the first time i walked past someone who carried a scent so similar to yours, that i questioned if you had just walked past me, or the first time someone made a joke so good i had to relay it to you later and pretended it was my own.

I always thought that heart break was caused by mean words said so harshly they pierce the soul. But in reality, they’re from goodbyes that weren’t told, kisses never shared and hugs never felt. These are the ingredients of a broken heart and they can never be fixed. Broken beyond repair.

The thing is even if you could go back, you wouldnt belong there anymore. I still perform autopsies on conversations we had lives ago. They could hook me up to a polygraph and ask me if i still love you, i would say no, and the line would jump and stutter in the exact pattern of your laugh. It feels better to die at your hands y/n, than to never have felt them at all. The heart has its own memory, and i have forgotern nothing, so dont set me on fire and act like you're the one burning.

I remember once you told me you killed a plant by feeding it too much water, and now you worry love is voilence and i know i always say you hold on to too much and every time you reply; asking me where you should put it down. This is starting to look like a contest of who cares less but i liked it better when you were on my side. Im afraid i will love you for the rest of my life and we will never be in the same room again, and im worried the amount of time we have left together is limited so please lingre near the door or forget your jacket and come back for it later. Please just tell me that im not as forgetable as your absence is making me feel. You only hate the people you love, and i know i could never be someone you dont like.

But surrounded by the churches and the dirt, i fell in love with you here. I had never told you. I wish i was braver. It's okay to not be who you thought you would be. But now summer is almost over, my feelings didnt change, and you aren't coming back. But always, i will be here y/n.

My Chris,

Christopher Owen Sturniolo, you have siezed my spine, took my bones and left me to melt into a sticky pile of mush where my body used to be.

I have spent half of my life loving you, and the other half figuring out my love for you. If i could write a book on all the things i wished you would have said, i would run out of pages. I feel like a kid at christmas whos been hopelessly dreaming about getting a pony,only to be given socks. I pushed you out and now youre so far away i cant even reach for you. I could call you a hundred names and scream and shout about why you were awful. But where would that leave me. I still loved you. I still have to live with that.

Its like youve taken a part of me and left it where i cant find it. I tried to forgive you, so i could move on, but how is that possible when i find you in every song, every tone, every frequency and every static. My brain cannot move an inch without bumping into some part of you. You are just a burning house that i want to live in, so why can't you let me put you out?

I wish you had left me wondering. I think it would have hurt much less if i never knew what made you fall out of love with me. You held me tight as i weeped like a little girl who had just dropped her ice cream, you kissed the top of my head and rocked us back and forth. You muffled my sobs with your lips. You whispered sweet nothings to me as i cried in your arms. You wiped the tears that fell for the heart you broke. You told me there will always be a piece of your heart that belongs to me. You have stained me. Tainted and bruised my soul. You told me that you’ve never had a love like ours and never will. You said that you’re future wife will know about me. Your kids will learn what love is through the stories you tell them about us. And suddenly, im at the kitchen table. Crying. Wondering what went wrong. But always, i will be here chris.

@christinarowie332 @jcwrites-blog @sturnphilia @biimpanicking @sssturniolofart @lividnity

LMK WHAT YALL THINK!!!!

[mako-neexu]

obviously. fgo dantes is bad for your mental health if youre looking for reprieve and soft comfort with sweet dreams, if youre looking to be told that what youve done is enough, you dont have to fight, its alright, just sleep, trust in me, call my name with a sigh when youve exhausted everything, you can just dream a sweet dream as you fall into the abyss. its okay, you can cry, you must feel, you must never let go of your emotions. the bonds you have will pull you up again and again because they existed and will continue to exist for as long as you remember them. we have Servants like kiara and oberon for that. but for dantes getting thrown into prison and being accused of treason broke him, losing everyone he loved in the process broke something inside him but also remade him anew- into a different person separate from edmond dantes the good sailor and mate of the pharaon. so ofc no doubt hes insane and would pull the same but different kind of crazy on you.

he can and will hurt you and himself if it means you get to move forward and achieve the future you want with your own hands. he will make sure and set things up that you grasp it yourself. even if its also at the cost of the blood of those you love (those people may not be real, but they were alive no matter how you look at it). but you CANNOT deny his sheer impact and capacity to be your greatest motivator, YOUR hypeman, your NUMBER ONE BEST supporter in MOVING FORWARD. dantes literally took up a janitor job and has been doing it for YEARS all because he cares about his accomplice and its a shitty job considering the sheer amount of vile things that get absorbed into guda's head that literally requires a few people to fight off.

so jalter is right he really isnt that far off from being the same malignant information plaguing guda, living in their head, fighting the same malignant information being absorbed into them throughout the lostbelts but its just that it was dantes who decided to protect and remain instead of disappearing outright post-prison tower. he still protects but his brand of care can come off as terrifying and also as usual even in the book he keeps certain info for himself so people like maximilien are left helpless and in the dark after valentine 'died' bringing the guy at his lowest and making him the happiest upon seeing her again in the ending. so, just like a flame, his love can definitely hurt but in the end he just wants those he cares about to be happy

[fcknstar]

,, the innocence is gone "

pairings : gf!ethanlandry x fem!reader ( vesper )

summary : what happens when history tends to repeat himself?

content warnings : violence, betrayal, obsession.

**lowercase intended**

" ghostface would be attractive if he didnt kill.. " you voiced out, in your own world when the whole group turned to face you in shock. 

" uhm.. i think thats a bit far fetch dont you think? " mindy cringed. 

how can the thought of someone with a mask pull your heartstrings, or even turn you on.

" i mean, in my opinion he could be pretty hot. " you shrugged. 

the group wasnt new on your interests in slashers, criminals. you figured that it was always the attractive ones who killed. they just found it weird considering you, mindy, the carpenter sisters and chad nearly got killed by one. 

" coping mechanisms. " quinn laughed the tension off, with the rest awkwardly nodding. 

★ 

ever since ethan joined the group, you have been nothing but attached. how did a good looking guy - a snack - be so lonely. you thought he had someone in his mind, the one you knew you couldnt occupy. but he did. you. but he soon swallowed the feeling down to focus on his mission. he knew he had to kill you, so why did your existence crumble him. making him question about his true intentions. 

" i had econ! " he defended himself as mindy analyzed ethan. 

you saw ethan leaving the apartment so you did trust him. 

" mindy, he did leave the apartment, remember? " you whispered, eyes closed as you listened to the rustling sounds around you. 

" see? " 

" vesper, you are next in my list- " 

" what? just because i defended him doesnt make me the killer. and you know for a fact i would never considering the fucking shit weve been through! " you couldnt believe your ears, your own best friend not trusting you. 

" mindy, i think you are over- analysing everything right now. " sam sighed. she trusted you, even if she knew she couldn't trust anyone. but youve been there for her and tara since day one. 

" fine, but ethan is still on the top of my list. " ethan bringing his hands up in defeat. giving him a lopsided smile, he returned a sad smile back.

everyone were starting to turn their backs on their own people, those that had to relive such traumatic moments. 

★ 

" hello? " 

" hey, ves! i was wondering if you could head down to the library? i need your help. " your friends voice begging for a yes to come out from you. instead a -

" no, im sorry. im with ethan right now, catching up on some shit i dont understand. ill try to come down as soon as possible though! " ethans eyes darting to your face. he loved the way you said his name. how sweet and soft youd say it, as if he was a fragile doll you had to take care off. 

" oh man, alright sure! just text me - update me yea! bye! " a sigh was heard from the other side. 

" bye love~ " you giggled. you were often flirtatious with your closest friends. ethan - not knowing the gender of the caller, narrowed his eyes. 

" so sorry about that- " 

" who was that? " ethan couldnt help but ask. he just had to know. if you couldnt be his, you shouldn't be anyones. 

" lana, she needed help with something. i dont know. " ethan nodded. 

★ 

ethan has yet to leave your side since the van. he needed to be with you as long as he could before he killed you, as him or as ghostface. so when gale brought you and the others down to the shrine, you realized ethans hand around your wrist. 

looking up at him, him smiled. 

" cant let you leave my sight knowing youd go crazy over this stuff. might lose you on the way. " you chuckled. 

looking over the items, you couldn't help but wonder how did someone collect items that was about six years ago - or even more. walking up on stage, you grazed every piece of black robe that could be filled with blood. this was a new feeling and you liked it. 

" remember how you said that ghostface was attractive, i get how someone might like him. " ethan blurted out. 

" haha very funny eth. " rolling your eyes, knowing that he's just trying to annoy you. 

" i mean look at amber freeman. she was hot. quite literally. "

you stopped at amber freemans robe, such events replaying. 

" welcome to act three. " you stumbled backwards watching as she aimed the gun at you.

" its sad that that pretty face will be gone to waste. " amber made a pouty face. you liked amber, maybe more than just a friend. of course you found her attractive, even with her reveal. but you couldnt.

it felt as if someone took your heart out, squeezed it and pushed it back in. you had to digest so many information and your dumb brain couldnt handle it. you didnt want it to happen again, knowing you couldnt take another heart break.

" ves? " ethan placed an arm on your shoulder. 

" sorry? " 

" you alright? " you nodded, afraid that your voice might crack. 

you coped up with everything by searching on slashers, even learning their tactics. it was interesting to say the least. you soon became obsessed with one you didnt even acknowledge. you should have known.

★

sam and tara pulled you behind them as ghostface removed his mask, revealing ethan. 

his gloomy face was replaced with a menacing smile. you tuned everything out, realizing that everything this happening again. fuck, you thought. ethan was a shy dorky guy, and now standing in front of you is a killer that you liked. oddly enough, you didn't feel betrayed or even hurt. he looked hot, with his hair sticking to his forehead and his breathing heavy. thoughts of blood on his face couldnt help but flood your mind. you just didnt want to die. not yet. 

you didn't even realize when ethans rounding the corner, near the glass display you and sam were standing at. 

you being the closest one, he pulled you, placing the knife against your neck. 

" fuck, eth- " your voice died down in your throat when you felt him press the knife further into your neck. 

" no- " sam and tara wanted to run towards you when quinn stopped them. 

" no, no you little fuckers, you aren't going anywhere. " before walking towards them, ethan walked with you, following quinns steps. your back against his front, you felt his heart thumping hard. probably due to adrenaline. you were going to die. tonight. in the hands of ethan. 

quinn lunged forwards before tara smacked quinn with a brick, knocking her out. 

that was when bailey aimed the gun towards the sisters. 

" you brought a brick to a gun fight.. quite sad isnt it. that you have to die this way. "

" sam- " out of instinct, you jolted forward, forgetting the knife against your neck. you had cut your neck slightly, as you pushed yourself further behind against ethan. 

" you sweet dumb thing. too stupid to not realize that you may cut yourself. " ethan pouted before pulling you away from the others. 

sam and tara saw ethan pushing you forward with the knife against your back. shit, they thought. 

before you could even ask him where he was bringing you, he stabbed you in the arm. 

" ive always wanted to stick something in you, ves! " he smiled victoriously.

" fuck you, eth! " you breathed.

" is that an offer? " shaking his head, he continued, "since i like you, ill spare you. " 

he has made up his mind.

a.n : have been vv obsessed lately, requests coming soon <3

[blegh-110]

Omg also just imagine flightless bird Tan taking care of Y/n when she gets sick for the first time when living with him-

He’d be so soft taking care of her (and that’d definitely be another scenario where Y/n would be weak and want snuggles from him)

omg yesss!!!

you wake up and feel that small tickle in the back of your throat which get worse throughout the day. this make your progressively more grumpy as the day goes on, but you dont voice a word of this to tangerine. you didnt want to bother him because its just a sore throat, nothing but some water cant fix. but you were very wrong.

you wake up the next day feeling like a corpse. your throat is so much worse, your nose is all clogged up and runny, your body aches, and you just want to turn over and go right back to sleep. but its the clogged up nose that starts making you tear up in frustration. there is no way you are going back to sleep when you can hardly breathe. you sit up with a groan, your limbs cracking and your throat hurting after some bad coughing.

you get up from your bed with your blanket around your shoulders and trailing behind you, slowly making your way towards tangerines office. hes always up and dressed for the day by the time you wake up, usually in his office. but when you take a peak inside, hes not there.

then you walk to the room where he sleeps. not there either.

okay, maybe hes in the kitchen or in the living room, you think trying not to panic. but then you stop in your tracks, suddenly remembering that tangerine told you last night that he would be leaving early in the morning for work and would be back around five.

at the time when he told you this, you were happy to be away from him for basically the entire day. but now... theres nothing you want more than for his strong arms to be around you and his sweet whispers. also some medicine.

a sob escapes your mouth when you realize how alone you are. an achy feeling forms in your chest, but not from your sickness, from the fact that tangerine is somewhere very far you assume, and not here to take away your pain.

you dont even go downstairs to try and look for some cold medicine, the thought of the action exhausts you. so you make your way back to where tangerine sleeps and lay in his bed, you go in there because it was the closest room with a bed you think. and not because the smell of him is comforting as you bury yourself into the sheets he sleeps in.

it takes some time, but you fall asleep, wishing that wherever tangerine is and whatever he is doing, that he'll be done soon and come back to you.

~

tangerine sighs heavily as he walks into his home and stares at his watch. six o'clock. a little later than he said he would be back, but hes just happy to be home with you.

after checking all of the rooms downstairs with no sign of you, he begins going upstairs.

"love!" he calls out, beginning to worry that youve managed to escape when he doesnt here you.

tangerine checks your room first, only to find nothing and the panic is rising up. he starts to check every room, aggressively shoving the doors open and checking bathroom and closets and any spot where you may be hiding. just when he comes out of one room, he sees you from his door with a sleepy, confused expression and messy hair.

you look so fucking adorable he thinks as he lets out a sigh of relief and makes his way towards you. but as he gets closer, he sees your glossy, red eyes and lips quivering.

"tangerine." you whisper, your sore throat not letting your voice go any higher, and fall into his arms when they wrap around you. he hears your sniffling and small hiccups, hes heard you cry before, but this sounds completely different.

"whats wrong? look at me." he gently lifts your chin up to get a better look of your face, and he realizes that youre sick just from that tired look in your eyes.

"dont feel good, feel gross and-and-" you dont finish, it hurts to talk.

"oh, love. when did you start feeling this way, huh?" tangerine gently says into your hair as he starts walking you back into his room. thats when he sees his bed which obviously looks like someone has slept in. although he hates to hear your stuffy nose and crying, he cant push away the feeling of happiness of you sleeping in his bed. but then hes suddenly feeling very sad again at the thought of you being miserable all day, alone.

"this morning, woke up feeling yucky" you say, then shrink down when you see tangerines eyes widen and his body stiffen.

"why didnt you tell me? you couldve called me and i wouldve been here as soon as possible."

"i'm sorry," you cry into your hands, feeling like a small child being scolded, "didnt know i could."

tangerine sighs and shakes his head, feeling very emotional about you being sick all day and not being there for you.

"no, dont apologize. im the one thats sorry." then hes taking you in his arms and sitting on the bed with you in his lap,

"i didnt mean to get mad, just sad that i wasnt here for you when i shouldve been. and i shouldve told you that you can call me anytime when im working, i never told you that did i?" you shake your head against his chest with a sniffle and silent tears still running down your face.

"oh, im sorry, (y/n)." he says again, kissing the top of your head and holding you against him just a little but tighter. you calm down after a few minutes, but the silence is ruined when you sneeze, and tangerine is reminded that you are sick. too caught up with you on his lap laying against him.

"lets get you some medicine and food."

after having to coax you to drink some of the "yucky tasting" medicine, tangerine heats up some chicken noodle soup and feeds it to you.

"ate it all, good job, darling." making you smile gently.

you take a hot shower after, making you feel even more better when the steam unclogs your nose and relaxes your aching muscles.

after putting on some pajamas, you walk to tangerines room where he sees you shyly standing at his door.

"can i, um, sleep with you tonight, please?" you ask softly while tugging at your long sleeve.

"c'mere" is all tangerine says and lifts up the blanket for you. you make your way over to him and jump into his bed right into his arms where you quickly fall asleep when his fingers gently scratch your back.

[skeletoninthemelonland]

hey starbs! I was wondering something, I know you are studying biolgy in uni and as someone who wants to be a biolgist but has been told im too "artistic and creative" to spend my life working with such precise things. I know you are also and artist, obviously, how has it been for you that you are a creative person, yet working with a course that is so strict to what it is (like not incudlign the different types of biolgist, like how you work there you rcant do what you want like you could with art or writing etc)

do you have any advice on how to reach for this goal or how youve felt just wanting to be a biolgist? im struggling alot with future stuff and it would be nice to hear from a fellow artist. (keep up the great work)

I'll be honest and say that studying Biology was a bit of a rushed decision (?)

I had no idea what I truly wanted to do while studying for the entrance exam. I knew I enjoyed different subjects and could work flexibly, but depending on the path I took, things would become either enjoyable or difficult for me. Biology has always been a subject I loved as a kid, but never something I was constantly interacting with growing up. With art that was different. I was definitely more passionate and skilled at art than at anything else.

I would have choosed to work with art, if only I had scored higher in the entrance exam and if only it was easy to make art for a living. Still, I don't regret choosing to study Biology.

It was a little discouraging in the beginning with how little I knew about the subject. Some students had far more knowledge than I ever had growing up. Some of them know exactly how a biology major will help them in the future. There were also people like me who had no idea what they wanted to do, but were willing to learn.

Turns out that Biology is one of the least precise things you could ever work with. Sciences in general is a subject that functions on uncertainty, and is what brings people forward to gather more information. My Plant Anatomy teacher often says "Mas é isso né gente, as plantas não lêem livros" (Which can be translated to "But yeah, plants don't read books"), because very often you'll find exceptions and unexplainable occurances everywhere (In this case, students are taught not to make assumptions about certain morphological characteristics that are present in plants... but not in all of them).

Artistic and creative are traits that are incredibly helpful and often necessary as skills. In a more literal approach, it might help you understand illustrated examples and "train your eye" for the tiniest details. Using your creativity as a tool to learn will immediately make things easier for you. I can't always draw and paint like I used to, but I can say that "motor proteins travelling along microtubules look like tiny people going for a walk :D" and never forget the information.

Being creative helps you make analogies with already existing information, so it's easier to retain it. I could also say "motor proteins travelling along microtubules remind me of Michael Afton walking down the sidewalk :D" and it's even easier to remember! Play with the information like it's a toy. If you can explain it to a 5 year old, that's because you learned.

But of course, there will always be classes that are more difficult than others. Mathematics will always be that one for me. You can't escape the challenging parts ^^'

Overall, it really depends on the person. It might work for me, and it might not work for you. The key is to explore and experiment on your own pace. Answers will come to you if you keep searching for them.

My best advice (in any major you're choosing), which will likely save your time, energy and sanity, is to find people like you. Not necessarily people who share similar interests as you, but people that you can count on and share your struggles — and they'll sometimes share their own. Befriending people often keeps you grounded and less anxious about how you'll perceive yourself and the future. It's a win-win interaction. Everyone is struggling, so we'll help each other out.

Remember it's okay to not know things right away. Remember it's okay that you're not as skilled as x person. Remember it's okay to be kind to yourself.

I could be saying all of this, but every day there's a huge effort to remind myself to take it slow. Reality oftens becomes skewed when we don't give ourselves a break.

I hope I helped you somehow, with the little to no experience I've had over the past few months. Wishing you and any other person reading this and who's in a similar situation good luck.

-----

One last advice.

Please, SLEEP!

SLEEP. SLEEP. SLEEP.

Don't even think about staying up late. SLEEP. Eat healthy whenever you can. Carry a banana with you, they have potassium — which is fucking great for your organism !!!

CARRY WATER. EVERYWHERE. TAKE 💧💧💧💦💦💦💦💧💧💦💦

How is anyone supposed to make good decisions while exhausted, grumpy, dehydrated, overwhelmed and hungry? THERE IS NO WAY. TREAT YOURSELF WITH CARE !!!! NOOOWWWW

[candiid-caniine]

Um. I had... A fun time and i wanna share. If that is okay. So, like. I was edging with the showerhead, ya know, and i got... Soooo close. And it's like, kinda oversensitive torture cause i came like.... A lot earlier lol. But i wanted to end the night edged and unsatisfied. And to prove to myself thay i COULD be a good boy. You know? So i edged three times. The last one... Ugh, like. Genuinely. I was so out of it. I was soooo close. Mouth open and unable to make a single sound kind of out of it. I was about to cum, but in my head, i just imagined a dom telling me right at that moment that "No. You do not cum." And... Oh my god. My body listened. I didn't pull away, but it was like my whole body jerked and i was so far off the edge. Like it was GONE for a good few seconds. Until it finally started to creep back up. And then i pulled away right before i could reach like... A hard edge. And immediately said "fuck!" And started laughing. Because. Um. Holy fuck. That was... Wow. Just wow. I think I'm a little doomed. Especially if i ever get a dom that's just sadistic as i am.

ohhhhh my god this stage of denial is transcendent.

I miss it; i say this bc i've been doing it so long at this point that it's automatic now, but i remember very vividly the first time my subconscious and my body conspired against e to keep me from cumming.

the betrayal i felt. against MYSELF. it's almost more cruel than someone standing over you and telling you no. it's like your body and subconscious have accepted that this is your life now, but your conscious mind is still resisting, so theres that mismatch, that upset.

it's so hot. it's so horrible. it's how you know youve hit a point of no return: that no matter how often you go back to cumming after this, you'll never forget this. some small part of you will always doubt yourself as you come towards the edge. some tiny bit of your mind will be balking, waiting for permission.

i'm sorry, friend, but you're...you're ruined lol. it's only in a small way right now. there's no going back, but there's still a chance you can save yourself from becoming as pathetic as i am...

[artdcnaldson]

UGH terrible, i just knew tumblr ate it. i had a feeling. deeply upsetting. but i will try to rewrite and remember what i was thinking.

prodigy au thoughts:

okey so i think he contains himself through dinner and brings you back to your hotel. he manages to keep himself from making a move, despite the fact that your eyes are BEGGING him to kiss you. he doesnt give in. the next day youre playing another match, but you remember what he was telling you about improving your backhand, youre following his advice. he can tell from his seat in the stands, he can see how much better it is when youre doing as he told you to. youre such a fast learner, he didnt even have to show you, you figured it out just from his instructions. he feels so proud of you. he also feels very turned on over how eagerly you follow his lead. makes his mind wander to what else you would do, if he asked you to...

you win the match, naturally. he knew you would, especially with your new and improved technique. it almost feels like deja vu, the way he's being lead backstage to congratulate you, still semi-hard from watching you the whole match. he swears your skirt is even shorter than the one yesterday. but this time you come running up to him and jump into him arms. you're spurting praise and thank yous at him, he's so amazing, and he was so right, and did you see how good i was? he barely has a chance to get a word in. even then he wouldnt be able to think straight enough to know what to say. youre still hanging on him, arms and legs wrapped around him like a koala to a tree, his hand on your ass to keep you from falling. he has to hold you up higher on his waist so you wont feel his hard-on pressing against you. so he wont cum in his pants from just feeling your pussy against him.

he invites you to dinner again, wanting to spend as much time with you as possible before the tournament is over. you spend the whole evening raving about him, talking about his career as if he wasnt there for the entirety of it. he thinks its very cute, how you look at him like hes a god. hes getting off on it way too much, he insists that you stay for dessert, exclusively because his boner is just far too obvious for him to be standing up right now.

he knows youre going to ask before you even get the first syllable out, and hes fully ready to shoot you down and tell you that hes just not ready to get back into a game he only just left behind. your eyes are already pleading him to say yes before the question is even out, all big and round and adoring. he cant help but imagine that it must be how youd look begging for his cock... he almost gives in before you even have the chance to beg him, before youve even asked. god he really is a weak man, but he's never had someone look at him, worship him, like this before, he would do anything to keep you like this. so he only puts up a little fight when you ask him to coach you. he knows he'll give in, but he cant help but make you feel like hes doing you a huge favor. its wrong of him, to further the, already huge, power imbalance between you. but he cant help himself, and he knows you dont mind. he agrees to coach you until wimbledon (a few months away), he's well aware that he'll gladly keep coaching you after as well, but its more fun this way to pretend you owe him a big thanks.

and you do feel like you owe him everything, before your sessions you were a great player. but after just a few sessions your game isnt just great anymore, its effortless. he's quick to teach you not just the physical technique but the mental work that truly separates your game from the one in the past. the professional facade you two had been putting up is over the second you start training on his person courts at his house. the second he invites you over to his house you know exactly how you want it to end. you show up in your usual short tennis skirt, but neglect to bring your usual shorts to wear under, and instead you opt for a brightly colored pair of lacy panties and a clear agenda. art gets hard as soon as hes helping you stretch and he catches the first of many glances of those bright pink panties. he nearly cums in his shorts when you call him coach with that sickly sweet smile, pretending you dont know exactly what youre doing. you dont even make it to any type of practice that day, because as soon as hes stretching your leg, his cock bruses against your pussy, and youre moaning obscenely. his resolve snaps that instant and he cant hold himself back from pushing you panties to the side and eating your cunt right there on the court...and then fuck your face against the back his couch...and then fuck you silly in his bed... all day long. he just cant get enough of you.

i think when he fucks her he really gets off on the power imbalance, on being the one in control after lacking control for so much of his life. he revels in being the better knowing, the one who holds the answers and is being looked up to. the way you hang on to his every word like its your gospel, the way you look to him like he's your god, begging him to answer your prayers. it makes him dizzy with lust, it makes him fuck in a way he never has before. with tashi she was the one in control, she knew what she wanted and expected him to fulfill her wishes. and he did. but you, you would do anything to make him happy, you disregard your own pleasure to ensure his. he never lets you go without, but even if he did you wouldnt care. you get off on his pleasure in a way he didnt know was possible. he swears one time you came just from him fucking your face, true devotion.

i think when he's fucking her, hes really bullying his cock into her pussy. shes so tight around him, he almost wants to ask if shes sure shes not a virgin, even though hes fucked her at least 100 times and she wasnt one when they met. he loves to talk during sex, how tight her young little pussy is (shes like 20-something, but hes thirty-five and tashi hasnt fucked him in years, so her pussy feels like heaven on earth), how good she is for him, how shes a little groupie slut, how lucky she is to be fucked by him. her attention had truly grown his ego to an unhealthy size, but they both love it. she brings out a side of him that's almost more like patrick... at least sexually.

took me a hot minute to recraft this lol, and its probably way too long (being concise is not a skill of mine, clearly), hope you like it pookie!!!

-🐞

YUMMMMMM all of this has me rubbing my dirty little hands together

Because your devotion is so sweet, so earnest. Art Donaldson has been at the center of your vision boards since you were sixteen, for a myriad of reasons. And now there he is— across from you on the court, making you run for drop shot after drop shot. A weak point he’d noticed at your last match.

You’re dripping sweat— soaked in it so it’s sheering your practice clothes. Your skin glistens in the unrelenting sun, your hair sticks damp to the back of your neck.

You know you’re a little pathetic around him, how your heart races whenever he gives you a pointer, how you live bouncing on your toes waiting for him to compliment you. But you ache for that validation, for your hero to shine a bit of that light on you.

He’s making you better— he’s making you perfect. Your ranking has shot up steadily, they’ve been saying you’re a contender for wimbledon on the tennis channel.

You wanted it. Of course you did. But you wanted it for Art too.

His skin is tinged pink after the day in the sun, and you watch him intently as he runs through more places you can improve. Your gaze softens as you listen, until he realizes you’re distracted by him. It makes a tiny smile twitch at his lips as you walk back to the house.

“How’re you feeling? Sore?”

You shrug. “My hips feel a little tight,” you reply, your gaze all soft. “Can you help me stretch?”

That’s how you wind up on your back on his massage table, the one that was collecting dust until you moved into the guest house.

One of his hands warm on your thigh holding it down, the other on your knee, bending you slowly until your knee touches your chest.

He’s so strong above you, so domineering. You exhale a shaky little breath, eyes locked on his.

“C’mon, hold it a little longer,” he says, his voice more like a coo. “Feels good?”

You nod, try to ignore the rush of arousal in your core at how close you are. He brings your leg back down, pats the side of your thigh affectionately.

He’s holding you closer as he stretches out your other leg. His hand higher up on your thigh to hold you down as he presses your knee up to your chest. A desperate little whimper escapes you when you feel him— hard and pressing against your cunt.

“Hold it,” he says, and you exhale shaky and nervous. Your tongue darts out to wet your lips, and he presses harder against you. “That’s it. Good girl.”

You’re wearing the cutest little panties— pale blue cotton with a frilly lace edge. He’d caught tiny glimpses of them on the court, wondered where the usual shorts you wore with your tennis skirts were.

But he understands now, up close. His thumb brushes against the wet spot at your core, where your juices had saturated the fabric. You whine on the table. Embarrassment makes you itch to close your legs, but aching hot desire makes you keep them open for him.

“Art—“ you gasp. He can feel your cunt pulsing, twitching for him beneath the thin fabric. His thumb brushes against your clit and you moan softly. “I’m all— so sweaty—“

He pulls you to the edge of the table by your ankles, sinks to his knees. “Gonna take care of you. How can you focus on the court if you’re so needy, huh?”

Your panties are pulled down your legs, tossed somewhere to be forgotten about until they’re found by his cleaning staff, laundered, and returned to you.

His tongue is on you in an instant, lapping at your slick cunt. He puts your legs over his shoulders, nuzzles as close as he can get. He moans at the taste— of salty, sweaty skin, of tangy arousal. He could lose himself in you— I mean, god, you’re already writhing and moaning like a pornstar just from his tongue. Getting off on him as much as you’re getting off on what he’s doing.

And god, you’d jerked off to fantasies like this since he agreed to coach you. Thoughts of Art’s mouth, of him wanting you so desperately. Your fingers are in his hair, mussing up his sweaty hair.

His lips seal around your clit, suckling until your breaths turn into fucked-out sobs. Until you’re reduced to whines of Art and oh fuck and god, yes and please please please.

He’s so good at everything— so perfect— you should’ve known he’d be good at pleasing you. It would’ve been impossible for him not to be. Barely any effort, and you’re already right on the edge.

He draws out your orgasm like it belongs to him. And it does, really, everything you are belongs to him. He kisses your thigh, gently.

You sit up on your elbows, your entire body running hot with lust. “Let me,” you say, sweetly, obediently.

He swallows, shakes his head. He came in his pants like a fucking teenager, high off of the unfettered need you held for him. But he wasn’t going to let you know that. “Not this time,” he said, so you didn’t take it as an outright rejection. “Maybe after you get your serves to 110.”

You nod, eager like an obedient puppy— a dog with a bone. He knows you’d do anything he asks just to please him when he hears you on the courts, slamming balls across the net, desperate to improve.

[local-critter]

Please do hcs for asra with a mc that secretly has abandonment issues and have been hiding from asra how much they been afraid of asra ended up traveling and never come back, because they don't want to upset asra

MC with Abandonment Issues

Asra

Pre-Plague, they wouldn't notice

He's observant, but has yet to attach himself so firmly to you to notice how much it affects you when he leaves for days, sometimes weeks

They wandered but always found their way back eventually; it eased your mind knowing that you weren't Asra's only tie to Vesuvia, he had Muriel to worry about too, and it was just a little extra reassurance that he'd return

Post-Plague, they still wouldn't notice

He's learned now to not take a single moment with you for granted but now there seems to be a chasm of secrets between you two that you could never hope to cross, not until everything was out in the open and you knew the full truth about everything

They didn't travel as often anymore, and when they did, you were at their side more than half the time, but sometimes, they wanted to travel alone; tho those times were few and far between, they still happened

Asra has learned to force himself to live in the moment with you, with everyone, so when j s traveling, he focuses on the magic he feels, the music he hears, the dances he sees, the food he eats; he completely immerses himself in the moment

It's not until night time when they miss you that when they try to enter your dream, dread floods their veins and fear seizes their heart

They worry for a moment before realizing it's most likely a nightmare, but once they focus on your mind and the bond you two share, caused by your shared heart, that they realize how hurt you really feel, how scared you really are

He packs up and heads out that very night, desperate to get home to you and find out what's wrong

When he gets home, he beelines for the shop and you're so surprised to see him back, but now that he's focusing on you, he feels the rush of knee-weakening relief you feel as soon as you see him

At this point his heart is racing and he's so scared something is wrong

He sits your ass down and at this point you can't really hide it anymore; he's so tuned into you and he knows so much about you that it's clear as day to him when you lie, and you cannot deflect from the King of Deflection

Changing the topic gets you nowhere, and by the end of your attempts they are literally begging you to talk to them because something is wrong and they know they can help but they don't know how

And it makes you feel so guilty because you know as soon as you tell him you're afraid one day he won't come back to you, he'll feel unbearably guilty, and it makes you feel irrational because he's done so much for you already that it's clear he loves you

But you say it regardless

You spill your guts to them, you tell them how you've been afraid since the very first time they went on a trip after you two had met that one day they'd choose to stay gone, that they'd find a new home and forget about you

Or worse, remember you but still choose to leave

And as you're frantically trying to explain that youve never blames him for your Abandonment issues, he's fucking heartbroken

If you look at him as you tell him what's wrong, you might be able to pinpoint the exact moment he realizes what you're saying and the guilt shatters his soul

He starts bawling like he did at the Lazareth because suddenly so many things are clicking into place and as you talk they go back and analyze every single memory of you before and after he left on a trip, seeing so clearly now what he missed back then

And then he remembers how many times he's left since you came back, which he did for both of you and he knows it was necessary but it's a different kind of agony knowing that you were so scared and he was only making it worse

You try to reassure him and your words go in one ear and straight out of the other; he processes not a single one

He reached out a shaking hand to touch you, terrified of hurting you more, and you just grab him and haul him to your side, pulling him as close as possible

You're both crying

You both leave that talk absolutely drained

It'll take him a long time to get over the guilt, he may never even fully get over it but now that he knows, he makes sure to be careful when he goes on trips

He can't help it, it's his nature to wander, and it'll take several long talks to figure out how you'll make it work but you do

He leaves behind some things he values, like maybe a little memento from his childhood, as a reassurance that he'll be back

You either water skype or share a dream every single night

It's always one or the other, maybe both, but never neither

At the end of the day I feel like your relationship would be stronger afterwards